Do you have a story that's going nowhere? A story that sounded good on paper and initial conceptualization but that eventually turns out to be fundamentally flawed in some major way, so much so that you can't continue? For example, does your story take place in an already-overstuffed genre of Ponyfic, contain way too many OC's to be easily digested, and require far too much plodding detail in between your money-shot scenes? Like mine does? And yet, you still can't get the characters' voices

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'Cause then I would totally do this:

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PANEL ONE

(In the foreground: The Cutie Mark Crusaders, hiding behind the line of scrub at the edge of the gazebo clearing. Sweetie Belle is standing on Apple Bloom's shoulders, while Scootaloo pathetically flaps her wings in an attempt to get aloft. All are trying to see over the bushes, their eyes straining toward the background, where Big Mac and Cheerilee can be seen sipping at cups of suspicious-looking purple punch.)

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So, writing a lengthy Applejack fanfic has brought this particular question to mind: Why do ponies keep pigs? I mean, chickens, I understand. Cows, likewise. (Although, since cows are both demonstrably sapient and fundamentally equivalent to ponies on a social level, it makes the whole "dairy barn" scene in "Boast Busters" a nonce questionable.) But why pigs?

Thoughts:

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...my read on the Season 2 Finale.

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...courtesy of the Dorsey Brothers Orchestra, circa 1935...

It's dark on observatory hill;
Come on, let's pretend we're Jack and Jill.
We'll stroll to the hilltop where college sweethearts go
And look at the lights on the campus down below.

We'll learn what astronomy is for,
We'll learn what the stars can have in store;
We'll know in advance the moon may mean romance
When it's dark on observatory hill.

(Bridge:)
And I'd like to recite you a poem that I wrote;

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I've been trying to musically crack into her headspace with the obvious Country and Western offerings, but after a little digging, I think A.J. just might be a Skynyrd girl.

Huh.

So on Friday morning, my brain got stuck in a strange gear with an image that wouldn't quit and wouldn't let me concentrate on anything else: a cold, grim, Princess Cadence origin story. I hate working pre-canon, but the particulars of this story didn't actually involve canon Cadence herself, so I figured I was safe on that front, so what the hell. Another barrier: I always like to keep a little sugar-coating on my Ponyfic, because that's sort of fundamental to the feel of the universe to

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Skywriter, circa February 28, 2012:

Hm, I really get along well with Twilight as a narrator, but this weird Science Ponies story I've got in mind to follow up "Infernal Machines" is a lot funnier and cleaner if I have a pony like Applejack or Rainbow Dash as the narrator. I really don't like A.J. all that much, and trying to write in her voice would probably be a special kind of hell, but maybe I'll give it a try. Can't hurt, I suppose, as a writing exercise at least.

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For anyone considering the task, please be advised that trying to realistically write Applejack in the first person is eight miles of bad road. You either end up with something that doesn't sound at all like Applejack, or you end up with a page that looks like you were busy working on the piece when somebody happened past with an open can of apostrophes and tripped.

Honestly, I'm just adding this so I don't have to see Sad Sad Fluttershy staring back at me from my profile page all the time.