Oh, sure, I'll write an extended long-form Princess Cadance (née Cadence) fanfiction, detailing her young days as Canterlot's Ambassador Plenipotentiary to Cloudsdale, a little tale about learning to love and about giving up the things you thought you held dear so that you can be what you were always meant to be. It's nice and themey, has a hoary, easy-to-write love story at its core, and it'll serve as a nice break from the Writing That Earns Money. I just need to figure out what music puts

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...to wit, a rather more soberly-toned piece. For your edification, the original opening, before it became a satirical farce, including my own angry notes at the bottom.

* * *
They were given a hero's welcome when they returned from Hind, and in my Equestria, any hero's welcome is synonymous with "festival".

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You know, the one that circulated as soon as people started using proportional fonts? The one that calls for single-spacing after full stops and colons?

Yeah. Missed that one. Totally.

Gonna finish up "Contraptionology!" the old way, and then, sigh, it's time to retrain myself. As head-canon Applejack would say, Grower help me.

Okay, what the hell, let's try something.

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I did it. Now, back to conventional prose, for serious this time.

EDIT: 1000 upthumbs exactly as of 10:05 CDT. Crazypants. Yo, dawg, I hear you like satirical metafiction.

Hey, thinks the author. People seem to really like this story. I wonder if I should submit it to Equestria Daily or something!

But then, he thinks, no, this is obviously a total in-joke for the FIMFiction audience. The Equestria Daily folks wouldn't get it. You'd have to do something specifically tailored to that market's in-jokes.

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...or else no one will see it. Stupid finger-slip on the post button.

Okay. Ahem.

Just thought I'd mention that if you have even a slight interest in FlutterPie friendshipping, you really should be reading at least the most recent chapter of "Via Equestria", which has some very sweet and pitch-perfect yellow and pink pony work.

Right! Carry on, all.

Just thought I'd mention that if you have even a slight interest in FlutterPie friendshipping, you really should be reading at least the most recent chapter of "Via Equestria", which has some very sweet and pitch-perfect yellow and pink pony work.

Did I ever mention how much I hate the word "Brony"? Because I seriously do. It's enough to make a guy want to undergo sexual reassignment surgery just so that he can wear the far more classy "Pegasister" instead. I HATE IT SO MUCH THAT I AM JOKING AT YOU ABOUT UNDERGOING MAJOR ELECTIVE SURGERY ON MY GENITALS. THAT IS HOW MUCH I HATE IT.

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(Inspired by "My Little Trixie: Everytrixie is Trixie"...)

When Trix was a little filly and the crowds would boo her do-o-o-own
Their heckling and their mockery would always make her fro-o-o-own
She'd hide behind the curtain
From all the fruit they'd throw
'Til Grammy Trix said that wasn't the way
to deal with rubes, oh no!

She said:

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