As I looked up from the deepest pit of hell, I asked, "Why hast thou forsaken me?" And lo, I heard the reply, "Becuse thou hast written horrable pony fan fiction" And I knew that it was the truth.
A guy buys a replica of the Pon drum from patapon on Etsy, and is sent to Equestria as the great Patapon. He then plants Mater, the Patapon tree of life, and brings the Patapon tribe to the new land. Now it is time for the Patapons to march!
I Went to Comic Con, and became a Zerg when I got those thrice cursed clawed gloves. But I did not have free will before I was turned to stone, so now I have to pay for things that where not my fault at all.