I'm sorry, but your story made me want to suck on a gun barrel.

Please, as a fellow author, heed my advice and follow my HiE rules.

Rules for writing HiEs:

1. Self-inserts. Just don't do it. Trust me.
2. A manticore is so over used, I feel insulted whenever one makes an appearance. Bonus anger if one shows up in the first fuckin' chapter.
3. Try to skim over the awkward meet n' greet scene that all these stories have. No one wants to hear about how bad our world is for 7 paragraphs.
4. Don't have a mane 6 instantly fall for your character or if you do, give them a fucking reason.
5. "Is that grass?" Fuck. No.
6. Cell phone. Again, fuck no.
7. "I am going to save the world!" bonus anger if the MC has magical powers that he pulls out of his ass.
8. "I instantly love this world and would never hurt a fly in it." This makes me want to cough up blood.
9. "I will adopt Scootaloo." NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
10. A mary sue. There is a special place in Hell for authors that make these.
11. Spelling. You don't want to sound like an idiot to your readers.
12. Grammar. Refer to rule 11.
13. Format your story properly.
14. No. more. FUCKING. pilots.
15. Don't give your character a small arsenal right in the beginning.
16. Don't make your character an incompetent tit. I have no sympathy for tools.
17. Human turns pony upon arrival for no good reason. Bonus points for somehow immediately adopting to walking on four legs and manages to not look so awkward while stumbling upon Ponyville.
18. Adding "fanon" ponies into the story, especially Lyra, Bon-bon, and Derpy. Bonus points for turning Lyra into a socially-awkward pony who craves everything human related and some more.
19. Falling into unconsciousness for stupid and arbitrary reasons (i.e., Applejack/Rainbow Dash bucking the protagonist, hitting head into a tree root, etc.)
20. Extremely wangsty teenager who hates their life, family, society, and everything else. Bonus points if the teenager either: a) falls in love with Fluttershy, b) wants to live in Equestria forever and disregards planet Earth for good, c) wangst how Earth is a shitty planet full of war, chaos, economic disparity, etc., d) all of the above.
21. Don't kill off canon characters. This is a good way to end up on the business end of an angry mob.
22. Pace your story. DETAILS BITCH. USE THEM!
23. Don't make the reason your human is in Equestria a fucking portal. Can you try and ring some originality out of your skull or do I have to beat it out of you?
24. No more fucking car crash entries. Refer to rule 23.
25. Amnesia. Don't do it you lazy bastard. Give your character a face, name, and backstory or else he is just another douche off of the street that we could careless about if he ends up in a dumpster or with a bullet in his head.
26. Brony in Equestria. 'Nuff said.

I'm sorry, but your story made me want to suck on a gun barrel.

Please, as a fellow author, heed my advice and follow my HiE rules.

Rules for writing HiEs:

1. Self-inserts. Just don't do it. Trust me.
2. A manticore is so over used, I feel insulted whenever one makes an appearance. Bonus anger if one shows up in the first fuckin' chapter.
3. Try to skim over the awkward meet n' greet scene that all these stories have. No one wants to hear about how bad our world is for 7 paragraphs.
4. Don't have a mane 6 instantly fall for your character or if you do, give them a fucking reason.
5. "Is that grass?" Fuck. No.
6. Cell phone. Again, fuck no.
7. "I am going to save the world!" bonus anger if the MC has magical powers that he pulls out of his ass.
8. "I instantly love this world and would never hurt a fly in it." This makes me want to cough up blood.
9. "I will adopt Scootaloo." NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
10. A mary sue. There is a special place in Hell for authors that make these.
11. Spelling. You don't want to sound like an idiot to your readers.
12. Grammar. Refer to rule 11.
13. Format your story properly.
14. No. more. FUCKING. pilots.
15. Don't give your character a small arsenal right in the beginning.
16. Don't make your character an incompetent tit. I have no sympathy for tools.
17. Human turns pony upon arrival for no good reason. Bonus points for somehow immediately adopting to walking on four legs and manages to not look so awkward while stumbling upon Ponyville.
18. Adding "fanon" ponies into the story, especially Lyra, Bon-bon, and Derpy. Bonus points for turning Lyra into a socially-awkward pony who craves everything human related and some more.
19. Falling into unconsciousness for stupid and arbitrary reasons (i.e., Applejack/Rainbow Dash bucking the protagonist, hitting head into a tree root, etc.)
20. Extremely wangsty teenager who hates their life, family, society, and everything else. Bonus points if the teenager either: a) falls in love with Fluttershy, b) wants to live in Equestria forever and disregards planet Earth for good, c) wangst how Earth is a shitty planet full of war, chaos, economic disparity, etc., d) all of the above.
21. Don't kill off canon characters. This is a good way to end up on the business end of an angry mob.
22. Pace your story. DETAILS BITCH. USE THEM!
23. Don't make the reason your human is in Equestria a fucking portal. Can you try and ring some originality out of your skull or do I have to beat it out of you?
24. No more fucking car crash entries. Refer to rule 23.
25. Amnesia. Don't do it you lazy bastard. Give your character a face, name, and backstory or else he is just another douche off of the street that we could careless about if he ends up in a dumpster or with a bullet in his head.
26. Brony in Equestria. 'Nuff said.