• Member Since 11th Jan, 2020
  • offline last seen Saturday

FireMaster


Hello all! I’m newer to the MLP fan base, but always enjoy the stories and adventures in Equestria! God is my rock and foundation, but I enjoy a little fiction about the magic of friendship too.

Latest Stories
1

Blog Posts
3

  • 9 weeks
    Change in Uploads

    I have been very infrequent with putting out chapters while taking classes but I have started working on the next one, and it will be out soon. With that being said I would like to have less wait time between posts, so I'm going to do my best to find time to get one done every other week without sacrificing quality. I already have most all the story planned/mapped out in my head... It just takes a while to get it on paper in a readable fashion. Chapter 16 of The Impossible Choice will be here

    Read More

    0 comments · 23 views
  • 17 weeks
    Book Update!

    Almost done with the next chapter of The Impossible Choice. Will be editing it very soon! Literally haven't written in months, but I started work on it last night, and will be posting a decent length chapter very soon!

    0 comments · 21 views
  • 37 weeks
    The Impossible Choice: Update

    If anyone has been wondering why I haven't posted a chapter update for a while, I started college a while back, and have been bogged with other priorities. I plan to post a new chapter for my story within the month, but I cant promise a specific date due to other obligations. Thank you for those that have read it so far, and I hope to be back on FimFiction more often, so expect some exciting new content in the future!

    0 comments · 28 views
Apr
15th
2021

Change in Uploads · 6:26pm April 15th

I have been very infrequent with putting out chapters while taking classes but I have started working on the next one, and it will be out soon. With that being said I would like to have less wait time between posts, so I'm going to do my best to find time to get one done every other week without sacrificing quality. I already have most all the story planned/mapped out in my head... It just takes a while to get it on paper in a readable fashion. Chapter 16 of The Impossible Choice will be here

Read More

Report FireMaster · 23 views · Story: The Impossible Choice ·
Comments ( 12 )
  • Viewing 8 - 12 of 12

3037421
Perhaps I didn't express myself very well while throwing that comment together so hopefully I can shed a little light on it. What I meant about the mane characters is basically what you were getting at. They are purposefully not the focus, but in doing so it felt as though they were comic relief and were unable to offer much in terms of physical and mental support. Basically you have these character that have saved the world many times over that feel pretty helpless excluding the bit at the end where the princesses transport the elements where they need to be and return the creature to the moon. The other bit about the ending has nothing to do with your writing and everything to do with me. You wrote the more professional ending that sees some of the characters parting ways and leads the Equestrians to believe the elements died heroes. This story is actually a very good ending, and I was just suggesting that I like bad endings where everyone wins, they have a way to continue their friendships, and there's subtle hints at more story left to be told. All in all you did a great job, and made a story that you would consider predictable exciting to read.

3037332
I like to think of myself as writing interesting ideas, just passably enough that some people will rea-tolerate them. I like idea's No One's thought of before [pun executed]:facehoof:.
Also, avoided cliches...:rainbowhuh:... What are you talking about? Brony in Equestria [check][check], arrives in the Everfree [check], Rainbow is instantly suspicious and violent [check], saves mane characters from Everfree monster [check], sudden, unexpected evil the heroes must face and destroy [check], heroes are unsure of themselves and mane six boost egos by assuring them they can do it [check][check][check][che-crack][checker has broken].
Could you elaborate on what you mean by making the Equestrians feel less capable and insignificant? Aside from dashing Dash's hopes of a dashing adventure with a dash of rainbow lasers for a more supportive role (involving less Dash), I'm not sure what you mean. Making Tom and Mira feign ignorance of Equestria had the bonus outcome of making the Equestrians useful for their knowledge (always possible Tom and Mira might not know something despite being fans, since we know everything:derpytongue2:).
If you're saying the main characters were in the foreground while the mane characters were in the background, I agree with you. Another way of looking at it I might agree with, not pushing the ponies down but lifting the Elements up. I hope my ego boosting for the Elements wasn't too much. There were times I thought I went overboard (I cringe a little at Rarity and AJ's hero worshiping attitudes), but in the end Tom did need to accept his place as the leader, and since he was a self-doubter, he needed peop- er ponies to encourage him.
I'm not trying to discredit your opinion (we're all entitled to our own), just asking for clarification.
Also, what do you mean by "bad happy ending"? Do you mean it was bittersweet, or that it was a happy ending that wasn't executed well? Either way, I'm sorry, but I love those four...

Rosy and Snickerdoodle sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
Sandy and Jug-head sitting in a tree, A-R-G-U-I-N-G!

Also, thank for the follow!

3037087
Sure I'll give you a little feedback. The plot was my favorite aspect as it was unique to any story I've read on here and avoided cliches. Overall I loved the book (hence the favorite) but the one thing that I would have changed was making the Equestrians not feel so incapable and insignificant. Obviously the focus was on the elements being the protagonists capable of stopping the beast, but it felt like they invested so much more effort than everybody else. Also wish there was some way for Equestria to know that the hero's returned home but that's because I'm a sucker for bad happy endings. Good job and great story!

Thanks for adding The Elements in Harmony to your favorites folder.
Let me know what your favorite part was, or if there was something you hated (not sure why it'd be in your favorites then).

  • Viewing 8 - 12 of 12
Login or register to comment