• Member Since 19th May, 2012
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RB_


Backflipping through reality at ludicrous speeds. What does RB stand for, anyway? | Ko-Fi

May
9th
2021

Mr. Boutin Doesn't Know How Deserts Work (RB Vs. Empress Theresa, Chapter 20) · 5:01pm May 9th, 2021

Previously, on Empress Theresa:

Theresa the oil baron.

And now:


Chapter Twenty! Eight left! Woohoo!

Three weeks have passed, and Theresa's about to raise the land bridge to Crete. She can't just raise it normally, though, the Mediterranean's too deep. Whatever 'raising it normally' even means in this context anymore.

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May
8th
2021

Oiiiil (RB Vs. Empress Theresa, Chapter 19) · 5:02pm May 8th, 2021

Previously, on Empress Theresa:

Sim Country.

And now:


We begin the nineteenth chapter with a televised announcement from Prime Minister Scherzer. It includes telling the world not to challenge Theresa's power, and that she deserves the title of Empress. He doesn't tell the world of their plan, as per said plan, but does say they came to an agreement.

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May
7th
2021

The Terrorists Go Out of Business (RB Vs. Empress Theresa, Chapter 18) · 5:13pm May 7th, 2021

Previously, on Empress Theresa:

Vehicular vengeance.

And now:


Did I know what I was doing?  Heck no!

Well, at least she admits it.

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May
6th
2021

The One Where Theresa Goes Mad With Power (RB Vs. Empress Theresa, Chapter 17) · 5:09pm May 6th, 2021

Previously, on Empress Theresa:

Xenon: warrior gas.

And now:


Hey.

Hey.

You know how Theresa keeps making new problems for herself with every problem she 'solves'?

Yeah, so now she's getting sued.

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May
5th
2021

Mr Boutin Doesn't Know How Gases Work (RB Vs. Empress Theresa, Chapter 16) · 5:07pm May 5th, 2021

Previously, on Empress Theresa:

Theresa causes more problems than she solves? Who woulda guessed!

And now:


I spent a sleepless night.  The unfairness of my position kept the tears flowing.

Thus opens the chapter. Theresa is having a hard time supporting all the weight on her shoulders.

Y'know, we could always try throwing Theresa out of an airplane again. That might fix the problem. Worked last time.

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May
4th
2021

Finally, Consequences (RB Vs. Empress Theresa, Chapter 15) · 5:03pm May 4th, 2021

Previously, on Empress Theresa:

Theresa whined to Parliament for half an hour.

And now:


This chapter begins with a question: what happened to President Martin?

The answer is given in the paragraph after the paragraph after the question is asked: not a lot. He's doing okay. That's the entirety of that line of thought.

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May
3rd
2021

Speech! Speech! Speech! (RB Vs. Empress Theresa, Chapter 14) · 5:53pm May 3rd, 2021

Previously, on Empress Theresa:

Theresa decided that winter is optional.

And now:


Hoo boy. That last chapter sure was a doozy, huh? Let's see what Mr. Boutin has in store for us today.

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May
2nd
2021

The Chapter That Nearly Broke Me (RB Vs. Empress Theresa, Chapter 13) · 5:53pm May 2nd, 2021

Previously, on Empress Theresa:

North Korea North Korea'd. Theresa Theresa'd.

And now:


This is the big one, folks. Theresa's finally going to fix the wind thing. She's feeling very confident. So confident, in fact, that she invites her gracious hosts, the Parkers, to watch as she saves the world.

She does her thing. They watch, rapt, the television screens which display Theresa's creation in the arctic.

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May
1st
2021

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the HAL (RB Vs. Empress Theresa, Chapter 12) · 4:37pm May 1st, 2021

Previously, on Empress Theresa:

A whole lotta math.

And now:


So, small correction: last chapter, I implied that Theresa and Steve were going to make an appearance before the United Nations. This was incorrect, and for that I must apologize. In reality, it's only Steve that's going. Thank you for your patience.

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Apr
30th
2021

Mathematical Absurdity (RB Vs. Empress Theresa, Chapter 11) · 5:20pm Apr 30th, 2021

Previously, on Empress Theresa:

A chapter that wasn't totally boring!

And now:


Guess who's back.

Back again.

Theresa's back.

Tell a friend.

Gues who's back, guess who's back, etc. etc.

A month has passed since the Paris trip, and, I quote, 'the oppression of being trapped in this luxurious prison' is getting to Theresa again. Remember how I said that maybe Theresa might solve the wind thing this chapter? Yeah, no. Crops are still dying, folks. Keep that in mind.

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