Despair, noun

The overwhelming desire to vomit, after you spend thirty minutes trying to write a meaningful blog post to help free your mind and get your thoughts down ... only to accidentally close the FIM Fiction tab and lose the whole lot before you post it.

See also: Control-eff-four syndrome.

The title is self-explanatory.

I have reached that point.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compassion_fatigue

I am going to have to bite the bullet and actually park my arse down tomorrow and do some writing.

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I have an appointment with a neurologist tomorrow. I have everything crossed that they can help me with my thus far treatment resistant depression, or perhaps find a closer diagnosis.

To this end, I want to start writing again. I think I will need to wait until the kids are back in school for me to have the time to.

But we shall see.
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Thanks to friends (Hudson I am looking at you!) and with therapy and such ongoing, I am slowly working up my appetite to write once more.

My depression remains unpredictable. I am hoping that if I can bring myself back into the process of writing, that it will aid me in distracting myself from my negativity and anxiety, and help to give me some purpose. This is also why I wash to start working on my model making again.

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I recently had a very severe nervous breakdown, and whilst I recover from that and my personal issues, I’ll leave my story on hiatus.

Hopefully good to go in a month or two.

I did start an online Discord server to work as my journal whilst healing. If you’re curious, it can be found here:

My Discord journal.

I was given a lovely phone call this morning following our development meeting expecting to be given new tickets to work on.

I ended up being summarily laid off.

So as slow as my writing here has been, I suspect it's going to be slower still for a while.

I do not often share GoFundMe links for people, but I have known Mattyboy Anderson for a long time and have been in love with this comic strips "Bands I Useta Love" now for years.

He is trying to get together enough money to help get his latest work published by May, so he can earn enough money to at least pay his rent.

You can find some of his work here: http://bandsiusetalike.com/

If you would like like to help out, you can do so here: https://www.gofundme.com/survive-until-may-2019

All of these things, and in no particular order.

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A huge thank you to Knighty for fixing the issue with my Patreon sticker there next to my avatar! I had been wondering why it was missing!