"If I had known what I was getting myself into, I never would have gone to Diamond’s party. I would have woken up on Saturday bright and early, eaten a hearty breakfast with my family, and pretended to have fun at the Summer Sun Celebration. I would have saved myself a load of trouble too. Probably would have won a few prizes, and gotten to hang out with my sister and her friends. I could have even spent some quality time with Princess Twilight.
"At the very least, I would have saved myself a few brain cells. My mouth wouldn’t taste like vomit, I wouldn’t see little pink bats plotting to kill me out of the corners of my eyes, and I wouldn’t have 'Pip was here' written on my neck in permanent marker."

(Warning: this story contains foul language, drugs, and "out-of-character" characters.)

I'd like to thank Chocoloco, PegasusKlondike, and chancellorpuddinghead for pre-reading this story. I should also apologize to Chocoloco: yes, I still think the prologue is a tad pessimistic, but I nearly drove myself crazy trying to change it.

A forgotten stage performer discovers a human child at the bottom of Canterlot's waterfalls, and he makes a fortune putting her on display.
(Please, tell me what you thought of this story. I want to know what you thought, even if all you have to say is that the story was boring and poorly written or morally reprehensible. I hope it's none of those, but I'd still like to know. We only improve with criticism, after all.)

Pinkie Pie is heralded as the most gleeful, fearless, and eccentric pony in Equestria. Who is Pinkie Pie, though? What runs through her mind when she's alone? Everyone has fears, after all, and everyone has nightmares.
And the greatest nightmares are the ones that are true.