Last week I had ended up in the mental clinic for about 3 days. I was given a lot of medication which seem to help to some extent. Ever since then I've been feeling very odd, very emotionally unstable. There's a lot of people watching over me currently, people from the clinic, people from my university, getting lots of calls and constant check ups on how I'm doing. It all seems like a lot of effort, and I can't help but feel like I'm a burden to them and even my friends. Currently it's 4am, I

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So far this year has started off like any other, massive seasonal depression with me sleeping away the days in my room. I wish I didn't live alone, or at least had some close friends to hang out with in person. A lot of things are messing with my head, it's hard to tell what I really need. I found myself turning to alcohol and weed more frequently despite how much I hate the substances. I just hope I'll begin to feel better once classes start again and summer approaches. All this time alone is

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it's 5 in the morning, I woke up 3 hours ago after passing out the entire afternoon after classes. I missed an assignment that was due at midnight today, oh well.

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It's been nearly a year since I've last posted on here, and looking back it's surprising that I've been doing this since late 2017. I always come here to post the extreme highs and lows of my life, it helps me release all the things held up in me and also reminds me of these feelings I've experienced and how far I've come.

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I have once again reached the end of a relationship. He had asked me to simply be friends until we could meet in person to try again, but I can't see that ever happening. It's once again time for me to move forward in life, improving myself and my skills preparing for the next couple years. I do hope one day I can love but for now they all seem to end the same way, but then again I've never dated in person so perhaps I'll give it one more try.

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It's been over 4 months since I've fallen in love, my feelings for him have grown and I truly wish to spend the rest of my life with him. However I've noticed my codependency suddenly spiking (I don't know if codependency is the correct them but it's the closest thing I can find to what I've been suffering with). 3 days ago was the first time I saw him interact with other people, before it has always been just me and him doing things alone. I'm perfectly fine with him spending time with other

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I'm 20 now, just a few days ago I moved out from my parent's home. These past few days have been extremely rough, I have extreme anxiety and I have not been able to adjust to this new place. I've spent most of my life in my bedroom at my parent's home and that became a place of comfort for me, a place where I felt safe and could take a break from life. I have not been able to feel that again since arriving here, I wish I could have a place that could feel safe and comfortable again but for now

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As I had expected my feelings have caught up to me and began eating away at mind. The pain has not gotten to an incontrollable amount just yet and I hope it continues to stay that way. I wish I knew what to do to battle this, all I have are my previous mistakes to guide me through but that can only get me so far. One of the big things I believe to overcome codependency is to make sure I never lose myself, it's so easy to make him my everything and to forget everything that makes me who I am. It

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I don't believe I ever wrote about my previous relationship experiences on here, but they have all gone the same way and I have a feeling my next/current won't be an exception.

A lot of my problems now stem back to my childhood, being isolated from society, lacking any social skills, never shown any love or how to love. I'd have to say the most painful feelings I've ever experienced has come from these very things.

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Tonight was a strange night for me, I spent most of it in VR. There's this guy that I like and we've been spending a lot of time together over the past month or two just hanging out in VR and honestly it's one of those experiences that feels unlike anything else. Many people overlook VR as a gimmick or as something evil to be avoided but what I felt tonight was undeniable. I'm not really sure how it happened, we were just in VRChat hanging out like normal, in an abandoned mall of all places,

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