So, having spent enough time bitching about Equestria Girls, I think it's probably time to get onto the meaty bits: how I would have written it, if I'd had the time.

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I've now sat through Equestria Girls twice, and I have to say, both times I've come away fairly disappointed. The film is visually interesting, and many of the jokes are well-crafted, but the plot doesn't hold up under the scrutiny I would give to a tissue after sneezing in it. I'd love to know under what constraints the studio was laboring, because this really doesn't feel like it's up to the rest of the standards of the show. It's not even what I would consider "an average kid's

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"Everypony agreed that Pinkie's fifth Alicorn Party was the best one yet."

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As some of you may know, I'm not only a writer -- though by my output lately you probably couldn't tell that, either -- but I'm also the Writing Track coordinator for Everfree NW 2013. As such, I'm looking for talented writers who'll be at the convention to help share some of the literary love and host panels at the event. I've been putting together writing tracks and teaching classes on writing since 2004 or so, and one of the things that always improves such events is having a diverse

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