Hi there. I have been reading what few comments people have left and tried my best to improve upon them. I thank Penalt for the tip on my commas and have fixed it to the best of my ability. For those who did not abandon the story and have tried to help me improve it I also thank you. I am still trying to get an editor but so far I have not got one. For right now I will just continue to reread my story and try my best to catch the errors.