So there was another episode of the Horse Show, perhaps you've heard of it?
I fucking hate fictional depictions of boot camp. Lightning Dust would have been signing her own death warrant the moment she eyeballed Spitfire, let alone challenging her, and Dash just sort of walks into Spitfire's office? What the Hell, man. What the fucking Hell?
And then people on Youtube complaining that Spitfire was being mean.

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So my street cred just took a major blow, major blow.
Closest thing I can make to a recover at this moment is this quote:

Say what you will about Fiddlebottoms, and his silly avatar

And I threw together this vid (Werning, contains narty verds):

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There is an insidious darkness lurking in the heart of FIMFiction, and indeed the rest of the world. A vile disorder so wretched that I almost hazard to bring it to light for fear of frightening small children and driving the elderly into their graves from sheer terror. This is not a matter for the faint of heart, feeble of spirit or wavering of courage.

I speak, of course, of Hugboxing.

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The apartments in my buildings have balconies. My balcony is conjoined to my neighbor’s; the only thing dividing us is a white privacy barrier with a gap on the bottom.
One morning, I stepped onto my half of the balcony and saw part of a broom handle sticking under the barrier. Being the kind and considerate gentleman I am, I kicked it to their side. I've owned one broom and one mop in my entire time here, and they’re both still in my kitchen.

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That right there,

is a gorefic in the feature box. I'm not sure if I've ever seen that happen before. I guess it must have been a Halloween thing.

Anyway, to everyone who contributed their thumbs, stars and comments, thank you. You have a special place in my heart.

To the new voyeurs, Welcome to My Nightmare.

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In the next half hour or so, Discord Builds an Ant Farm will be going live. Special thanks to WrathofGod519 for the idea. It is labelled as sad, but I think of it as more of a bitter-sweet comedy. Unfortunately THE MAN won't let me tag stories as both Sad and Comedy, so I went with its main direction. Please read, comment, critique, vote, etc.

By Friday:

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First item of nonsense, someone did a reading of Rarity Versus Bukkake Ninjas. Hearing my stories read aloud makes me realize how painful it must seem when I string together similar syllables such as "anti-cannon, canon-conscious fashionista." I'm not gonna stop, though.

Second item, iloveportalz0r (aka, the ghost who walks) posts 44 mustaches in a typical 24-hour period.

Third itemz, Upcoming Stories:

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Join the Cockroach Club and get into the Featured Box the Tsundere way!

Nah, but seriously, Ponyville SWAT was supposed to be a Trollfic Tuesdays entry, and now look what happened.

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I am, as you well know, a fine purveyor of the written word, a cunning linguist, and a <<Think of good dick joke before you post this>>. A master, some have said, and maybe even a commander. Yet, paradoxically, I am also a slave to my art, and my safe-word is unpronounceable in any mortal tongue.
It is as such an artisan of the verbal craft that I come before you to present my greatest work:

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