Well, everyone, I've had a good decade on this site. After all the time I've spent here, I'm happy to report that I don't consider one second of it to have been a waste of time. Through this site, and through this community, I've made quite a few friends, expanded my vocabulary, and even improved my personal writing skills. Since I have chosen writing to be my career path, the experiences I've had and lessons I've learned here will be invaluable to me as I pursue my goals. And to clarify, I've

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I'm going to leave this right here, I'll be right back. Seriously, don't touch. I'm just going to set this down right here. Right. The fuck. Here. This is going to be like a trust exercise between you and I. Don't. Fucking. Touch. Seriously for real.

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I would say I'm back, but I never really left. I just made a lot of lifestyle changes last year, and I needed some time to adjust to them. Changes which, so far, have effected me quite positively. Nothing too personal or complicated, just a career change and a long move across three states. I'm jumping back on the fanfic bandwagon, which I'll be doing as a hobby while I'm putting the finishing touches on my debut novel. I'll need a day or two to review Dark Arts, so that I may aptly pick up

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Ascending the steps to the throne room, I knew not what madness awaited me.
Was the music a symphony of doom, a prelude to that which awaited me?
"I've come to end this," declared I to the demon who drank from his chalice.
Ruby red was its liquid inside, and his eyes were filled with madness.
"Have at you!" he replied in response to my provocation, ignorant of my heritage, and my vampire killing vocation.

I guess watching child rapists being executed isn't as entertaining to others as it is to me

Couldn't have read it better myself. Props to the narrator and voice talent.

What I learned on my month-long vacation: Ze MP5 is ze best boy of ze German arsenal. Also, 3D printers are ze tits!