• Member Since 9th Jul, 2015
  • offline last seen May 27th, 2017

The KriegMeister

I believe that story telling is an art on it's own. I also believe that Cool Ranch Doritos are better than nacho cheese

Comments ( 4 )
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1941888 you've got a good story here. The pace is steady, the characters aren't entirely ooc, and the premise is interesting. My only pet peeve was some of the sexual activity. With nudist fiction, it's usually best to have little of it, or just leave it out entirely. It really takes away from a story that can teach the core value of nudism. Nudity is natural, and not sexual or embarrassing. I don't think the characters should go to certain locations stark naked and convince people to give it a try. They could just find young nudist in their area and invite them to join their movement. Probably create a hangout in an abandoned building and give it an interior makeover. They could even just sit down with some none nudist and convince them to try it out.

I know I shouldn't critique a fanfic when I haven't written one myself, but I rarely have the time to write much because of college and my job. Either way, the story has potential, and I respect you for going to your readers for feedback. If you ever need help with inspiration or proofreading, let me know. And if you like, I could let you proof read my story whenever I get the first chapter done.

Thanks for the favorite :)
So... what do you like about it so far?

  • Viewing 1 - 4 of 4
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