And your assistant, and your mailman, and your grocer and your friend...

Inspired by a thread asking people how they felt about stories featuring Anon, where I said it's just a name and it's no worse than a thousand Bob's in Equestria. I apologize profusely for this resulting monstrosity.

At the end of the Grand Galloping Gala, Princess Celestia has invited Twilight Sparkle to her personal chambers so that she could tell her a secret that she has kept from her for a very long time. The excited, love struck Twilight Sparkle eagerly awaits the arrival of her mentor and the confession that she felt was appropriate to make in such an intimate setting. The secret that is revealed is not at all what Twilight was expecting.

Rated teen and tagged with Sex for mild sexual references, innuendos and whatnot.

It has been several years since Chrysalis’ defeat during the Canterlot invasion. Since then, the fortunes of her changelings and kingdom have rapidly declined. With mass starvation, ponies capturing more of her spies and love collectors every day, and her own powers diminished to the point of being a complete non-threat to her enemies, she fears that it may soon be over for both herself and her entire race.

As Chrysalis reminisces about past failures, a pony named Time Keeper crashes a large metal box into her bedchambers. He claims to not only be a time traveller but also to have accidentally killed Twilight Sparkle on the day she was supposed to go to Ponyville to defeat Nightmare Moon.

In an effort to avoid the prospect of the universe tearing itself apart at the seams from the ensuing paradox, Chrysalis agrees to go back in time and live out a facsimile of Twilight’s life herself, and if time allows, she'll work on her own little project: shaping the future more to her own liking.

John Apple, aging human farmer, has recently been injured in an accident by one of his horses. The doctors say he'll be unable to take care of his farm anymore due to considerable chronic back pain he will suffer for the rest of his years.

Farming had been his passion all his life, and had always been used to distract from the loneliness he felt from never having taken a wife, or raising children. Now faced with the prospect of losing his farm, having no options for meaningful employment, and the loneliness he can no longer distract himself from, he decides to bring an end to it all.

But what's this? He's still alive? Why did he wake up as a horse? How are these other horses able to talk? Why do these Apple horses keep calling him their father? And, perhaps most importantly, after finding himself with the family he had always wanted, does he dare tell them the truth?

David Sharp, member of the band "Raging Incubus", wakes up, downs a can of beer, and finds a bug-horse monstrosity in his kitchen that insists on calling him his "Queen".

Rated Teen because of some alcohol being involved and a couple mild swears. I don't think that it would be harmful to younger readers or anything, but better safe than sorry.