This morning, Shining Armor thought that his daughter's goth phase was his biggest worry. Now, he has to deal with a retired stage magician, a smoke monster that refuses to stay dead, the dumbest possible parallel universe, AND his daughter's goth phase.

Nothing about this makes any sense... and why does King Sombra seem oddly afraid of Trixie...?

Quite possibly the crackiest of all crack fics I have ever written for any fandom to date. I wrote this in about a week and had an absolute BLAST writing it. Contains...

• Trixie's verbal tic maxed out to the point where it becomes a plot point of sorts
• brooding goth Flurry Heart, complete with goth name
• card tricks
• the Crystal Empire having quite possibly worse security protocols than it does in canon
• nopony taking anything quite as seriously as they probably should
• Shining Armor making a few rather questionable choices involving his daughter's safety
• card tricks
• a magic mirror portal that ought to be yeeted into the sun or moved to the SCP Foundation HQ
• trace amounts of Applejack
• an homage to the best Mumbo and Grian comedy skit from the Last Life series on YouTube
• card tricks

Inspired by TWO contests!

Entering this into the Portal Transformations Contest I.

Also, after some consideration and checking with Muggonny, entering this into the Shining Armor is a Terrible Dad 2024 Competition. It blasted WAY past the max word count, but I'll just have to live with the wordcount penalty.

Igneous Rock Pie has strong opinions about the concert his daughter has dragged him to. But when an assassin threatens to disrupt the evening, it is time to remind the world who taught the Pie sisters how to defend family and friends.

Features Igneous Rock and Princess Luna, so brace yourself for maximum Ye Olde Englishe. I'm not even sorry.

An entry in the Ancestral Tribute contest.

Spoilers for the general plot and ending of the G5 movie.

The return of magic also caused the Crystal Empire to appear again, but two Crystal Ponies, banished from their homeland, wish to change that.
And now it's up to Sprout to stop them, save all of Equestria's magic, and accept that his family played a larger part in history than he would have enjoyed.

Written for the G5 Bingo Writing Contest. Prompts were "Sprout + is keeping a secret from + Sweets + Crystal Ponies + School for Gifted Unicorns".
Contains a silly plot, (intentionally) butchered history, and stereotypical Swedish/IKEA-ish proper names, mostly meaning that I added a bunch of unnecessary umlauts to vowels. =P I apologize to Prince Shining Armor, Princess Luna, and all Swedish people reading this. Also contains an actual IKEA name - Älvängen/Alvangen is/was a set of lamps, including a desk lamp.
Might do something else for the cover image later - right now it's nearly 1am and the deadline is upon me, so this needs to go out NOW.

It's the week before Hearth's Warming, and Rarity and Gilda are being sent to Ponyville. But their mission involves less holiday cheer and more "buy the entire place, then bulldoze it to secure a promotion". Applejack of course has a few (impolite) things to say about this plan, even if she can't quite will herself to hate the unicorn in the expensive dress. And Rarity and Gilda are not the only ones with an agenda...

Modern AU, anthro, Rarity/Applejack, Gilda/Rainbow Dash, Twilight/Trixie. T-rated "Sex" tag for later.

Welcome to the Secret Big Project I occasionally teased on Tumblr, everybody!

I have been working on this fic since late January... *checks notes* ...2020. I accidentally set off my plotbunny army during one of Earthsong's streams, and it has quickly become my "Lockdown is happening, time has no meaning anymore, let's be silly to not lose my mind!" fic. So... yeah, enjoy some romcom shenanigans where Rarity exploits tax loopholes, Twilight owns a tank an armored reconnaissance vehicle, and Trixie has watched far too many Fast & Furious movies.

Now with the proper cover by Earthsong9405! Shower her with love because she did an AMAZING job!

Blueblood's date goes from bad to worse when he realizes that his chariot has gone missing. His investigation doesn't take long - but when the meter maid who towed it has a warship, a private army, and absolutely no respect for royals, will he get it back?

Tempest Shadow & Prince Blueblood - not fully romantic, though with potential and some flirting and innuendo. Not related to "Betraying Tempest", though the banter vibes are roughly the same. Also not a "Fast & Furious" parody - the title just clicked.

Written for the May 2021 Pairing Contest

Contains innuendo, ponies mocking royal titles, Blueblood being a bad boss, lots of shouting, yet another made-up country, and mockery of heliocentrism.

Rarity is suffering from creative burnout, and Rainbow Dash decides to help by dragging her to a concert of her favorite band, Villian Court, led by one Twilight Sparkle. Things quickly spiral out of control in ways Rainbow couldn't have anticipated (but doesn't mind).

Have some Anthro RariTwi AU, because Earthsong apparently decided that I was not busy enough with my existing fics and tossed what she called the "Reverse Rockstar AU" (basically a role-flip of her Rockstar AU, where Rarity is a rockstar and then meets Twilight) onto my Tumblr dashboard. And I took one look at the picture and started to write.
Since then, we exchanged WIPs and ideas, and by now, her AU (now called the "Rock'n'Royal AU") and this fic are very similar, but also slightly different as we both worked on angles in different ways. It's been a wild ride so far, and I loved every minute of it!

Cover art done by Earthsong, which is fitting since she's the one who handed me this plotbunny to begin with. Fic title inspired by the song "Rock the Casbah" by The Clash.

Prince Blueblood is absolutely convinced that Tempest Shadow has lied to Princess Celestia and that she is still plotting to conquer Canterlot. Now it's up to him to stop her.

Unfortunately, he is (a) dead wrong, (b) not a fan of comic books, and (c) not trained in espionage, counter-intelligence, special operations or anything else that would be useful in such a situation. But he does know which flowers go well with her coat and what restaurant can offer the best candlelight dinner opportunities, so... that's... a start...?

Prince Blueblood / Tempest Shadow, because I love my random and obscure shipping constellations these are two very different, very fascinating characters who can probably learn a lot from each other. (Also maybe some Capper/Celaeno on the sidelines later on?)

Content warning is again on the "better safe than sorry" side: there is no suicide, and the only reference to self-harm will be when some of Tempest's scars are discussed.
Took out the warning label for the time being. If I or others feel now or at a later time that it should go in again, it'll go in then. Thanks to the commenters so far for the feedback on when to include it!
Also a mild spoiler warning since this takes place shortly after The Movie.

Cover art (and thus early hype-generation for this fic) done by the amazing Earthsong9405 (Tumblr, DeviantArt).

(Featured Box on March 4, 2018? Thank you all!)

Rarity's quest for love led her from Tartarus to Canterlot. Now, wielding powers beyond comprehension, she rules over Equestria.

Now, if only she could understand how Fluttershy's little cult had gained thousands of members virtually overnight, or why the cult's second-in-command, Twilight Sparkle, always seems to be one step ahead of her...

Some RariTwi written for the December Crackship Contest. My prompt was "Heartless Dictator Rarity + Cult Meeting + Star Student Twilight" (and since she appears on the "Cult Meeting" card, I decided to also use "Cult Leader Fluttershy")

Cover art done by the amazing Earthsong9405 (Tumblr, DeviantArt). Given how her AUs (via Monochromatic's "The Sphinx's Riddle" and "The Princess's Choice") have warmed me up to RariTwi, I found it rather fitting to commission her to do the coverart for this RariTwi AU.

Sex tag might be overly cautious, but I prefer that over being banhammered. Nothing explicit, no smut here, it's just being mentioned/discussed, and Rarity has some short fantasies that she is quick to shove aside.

Applejack didn't expect her crush on Rarity to actually be mutual. Then again, she also didn't expect Rarity to condemn her soul to Pony Hell.

Rarijack with a tiny side dish of Flutterdash.

Written for the BARCAST WRITING CONTEST #2: Make Rarity Not Garbage. Because nothing says "not garbage" like "I just ensured your eternal suffering, darling."

This fic finally has cover art, thanks to the always-amazing Earthsong!

By the time Princess Celestia chained her to the execution site, Gilda knew that her week was going to suck. Now she wants to find out who set her up, and she is not alone.

Cover art by Earthsong, who never fails to blow my mind with her skills and talent.

Current status: I've been neglecting this fic for way too long and I absolutely apologize for that. 2018 was the year I revved up my writing again, and I want to make 2019 the year I actually finish a few fics, including this one.