• Member Since 17th Jul, 2014
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

NorthStar The NightGuard


I hope someday to write something worth plagiarizing.

Dec
14th
2018

I just found a diamond in the rough · 1:34am Dec 14th, 2018

Seriously I just don't know how this chick ain't got subs up the wazoo... I know I'm not exactly anywhere big enough to meaningfully promote stuff but really this is an injustice if I ever saw one.

Nov
5th
2018

Night Guard's Dark Humor #10 · 2:05am Nov 5th, 2018

A guy believed his wife was cheating on him so he hired a private investigator, scraped for cash he searched for the cheapest he could find what he found was a Chinese man...

This was the Chinese P.I's report on what he found.

"Most honourable sir"
"You leave house"
"I watch house"
"He come to house"
"I watch"
"He and she leave house"
"I follow"
"He and she go into hotel"
"I climb tree"
"I look in window"
"He kiss she"
"he strip she"
"She strip he"
"He played with she"

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Jun
12th
2018

Night Guard's Dark Humor #9 · 12:42pm Jun 12th, 2018

"I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. "

"A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read."

Jun
11th
2018

Its friken Net Neutrality all over again · 11:20pm Jun 11th, 2018

MAX FUCKIN DAMN IT!

Why can't these fuckers just leave our interwebs alone, don't these motherfuckers understand if it ain't broke don't fix it, first it was the FCC and Ashit Pai over in the states and now some idiots are tryna pull a fast one over here as well it ain't gonna fly I tells ya...

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Mar
27th
2018

Night Guard's Dark Humor #8 · 10:39am Mar 27th, 2018

A Scotsman, an Irishman, and an Englishman are each sentenced to a year in solitary confinement; before being locked away, each is to be granted a year's supply of whatever he wants to help him get through the long, long spell alone.

The Scotsman asks for a year's supply of whisky; it's given to him and he's locked away.

The Irishman asks for a year's supply of Guinness so he's locked up with several thousand bottles of it.

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Feb
18th
2018

Night Guard's Dark Humor #7 · 5:43am Feb 18th, 2018

Whats the difference between 17 and 18

About five to ten years

Jan
30th
2018

What in the name of Luna's moon... · 7:24am Jan 30th, 2018

I really, really miss the days when all we had to worry about was when wall-eyed mares just didn't know what went wrong...

Jan
1st
2018

Happy New Year Mother Truckers · 12:24am Jan 1st, 2018

Well... I must say it been a year... yeah... that's about the gist of it really, could have been better could have been a fuckton worse.

Fireworks were actually worth watching this year those pryotech guys need a raise, anyway things are hopefully gonna get better this new year and I've recently been viciously mauled by my muse so I should be in the mood to actually write something instead of defending my title of 'Lord' of procrastination.

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Dec
30th
2017

Night Guards Dark Humor #6 (RE) · 5:41am Dec 30th, 2017

What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers?

The redneck virgin.

Dec
15th
2017

The Battle is over BUT NOT THE WAR! · 2:29am Dec 15th, 2017

It's not over yet people, this fight is very far from over Congress can still overturn this but it will not be easy but hay nothing worth doing ever is and while the dawn may be dark, I can all but guarantee the sun will rise on this very, very dark day do not let them steal this from you contact your member of Congress,,

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