So I bought a switch · 8:04pm May 31st, 2018
I've mentioned a few times in my previous commissions over working towards some sort of goal, and yesterday I finally was able to purchase said goal and buy myself a Nintendo Switch.
I am an aspiring writer, romance enthusiast, and a horrible over emotional mess. If you're here I hope you like homosexual stallions. If you enjoy my work and want to support me I have a Ko-Fi!
I've mentioned a few times in my previous commissions over working towards some sort of goal, and yesterday I finally was able to purchase said goal and buy myself a Nintendo Switch.
If you don't care about my personal ramblings I'll just give the commission info up front now.
As usual: 15 dollars per thousand words. I usually accept just about any idea from any fandom with a few exceptions in regards to fetishes or kinks if the story is going to involve sex. if you're interested in commissioning a story from me I'd be glad to talk with you over a PM.
Now, for those of you that don't care about personal ramblings can dip out now.
There's a hollow feeling somewhere deep in my chest that won't go away. These past few months feel like a long daze where it's difficult to find a purpose in existing. I feel happy a good deal of the time, more so than I have before, but my production in terms of my passions have become all but standstill. I want to say something artsy or creative here just so it'll satisfy my need to write something important.
I have recieved an overwhelming amount of support today, and quite frankly I’m a little bit afraid if I don’t shut it down now I’ll never be able to fill all the requests I’ve gotten. Thank you for everybody who commissioned me and I’ll be re-opening commissions soon!
It's been a while, hasn't it? I think that can be said basically anytime I make a blog post. I've never really been one to have creativity stay for a long time, and when it flares up I either end up writing a dozen chapters in a month or posting one chapter of a story before vanishing again. But for the past few days I've tried to stick to a bit of a routine after inspiration being fairly lacking for the past several months. I think I'm going to try for the time being to do one of two things
I don't know if I've actually told the people who follow me in a blog yet, but if you follow TheVClaw you should know by now that about a month ago we finally made the jump of long distance to moving in together. In a few days I'll have been with him every day for a solid month and it's... odd. I think it's more odd because of how comfortable I am with it over anything. I remember my first night here after a long long drive I started to panic over what I had done, but after a good night's sleep
Lately I've been having a lot of nightmares on a near daily basis. It feels as though my overall anxiety throughout the day is lowered, but around when I go to sleep and my mind does it's own thing my stress and depression catch up with me and attack me in the place that used to be where I was able to escape all those awful feelings. Last night I had a dream that my step dad stole a bong of all things from me (I've never used a bong) and hid it by eating it and mocking me openly. I remember
These past few weeks have been... hard to put into words. My days for the most part recently have consisted of waking up around 9 or 10 in the morning, playing some video game after I get my coffee until noon, and then after I get exhausted from that stop and start to become anxious for a few hours because I'm tired and feel like I'm not doing anything. It's a strange feeling with my body going from zero to one-hundred in terms of okay to anxiety because it seems to happen every single day. Yet
So in less than 24 hours I'm going to be 20 years old. I've been on this site since I was fourteen and it feels like my entire life. Of course what better way to spend my last day as a teenager other than to have a crisis because I'm broke, have no money, am waiting on query responses for me book, and feel like I'm a failure for having no motivation to ask for commissions.
So last night was pretty bad for a good number of reasons. Let's start with the obvious; I got rejected from another agent for publishing reasons. This is the third time I haven't really been told why, which I understand from a business point but just getting a blank email telling me I got rejected without reason feels very robotic and dull. I'm aware I'm not perfect as a writer by any means, but just not getting told what was wrong sort of is worse. It makes me think everything is awful.