I've got Shining Armor tied up in my basement for molestation purposes.

Staff Note: Found to be impersonating AskFlufflePuff.

I am the machinist. Lord over all machines and stuff. I like twinkies. That is all.

Ah shit, here we go again.

I came and I brought bad luck...

This sentence is false.

Escaped SCP: Always running, never stopping

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

My mask protects me from gas and Internet gnomes. What's your mask?

What? You expect a trick? Go talk to another Zman, I'm busy.