• Member Since 8th Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen Dec 13th, 2021


Any normal person would have stopped bothering by now.


Co-written with Dark Avenger and another person who's not really here on FimFic.

Centuries after Discord's defeat and the separation of the Royal Sisters, for about a decade now, there is peace and prosperity in Equestria under the rule of Princess Celestia. Her governance is wise, benevolent, and remarkably efficient. However, it's not all so simple. Celestia may be an immortal alicorn bearing the wisdom of centuries, but along with this wisdom comes a heavy burden of memories and decisions. After centuries spent toiling away on her own, something had changed.

Few know it, but the creature they see as their Princess in public is, in fact, a body double. A mysterious, shape-shifting, insect-like empath creature who wears the guise of the alicorn to handle all the things she would rather not. How this creature came to be and how Celestia came to find it, not even the ones priveleged to know the secret of Osmosis the shapeshifter know.

While Osmosis' shenanigans have taken up a good amount of Celestia's worries for the last decade, they were also her only form of proper social interaction. Nightmare Moon's return is on the horizon, and after such long neglect, Celestia's senses are unfit to seek out candidates for a trained protege - a pony capable of reuniting the Elements of Harmony and wielding them when the time comes.

50 years remain to find a fitting family from which to find one. Whatever Osma is, her ability to stay on track makes that an adequate timeframe...

Stray elements of Romance and Comedy, but enough to make it into the tags IMO.

Chapters (6)

Prince Blueblood, the last Prince of the Unicornian dynasty, winner of three consecutive beauty contests, patron of the arts, and a highly sought-over stallion, is, as described, vital to the political life of the Equestrian kingdom. Princess Celestia's secretary Raven, an overall unremarkable, barely present in any records, plain unicorn pony, is nothing in particular, and was most likely sent merely to make sure nobody at all troubles the brilliant mind that is Blueblood. The dozen engineers that operate their vehicle on the way to, and especially back from, the capital of the Frozen North, are simply lucky to have had a chance to share a trip with the sterling Prince.

That is the status quo all of them would like to believe, and it is definitely not going to stay intact over the 42 days it will take them to return.


Proofreading and minor assistance by Dark Avenger. Cover art by sean7700, although an eternal WiP after a few things went down.

Part of a prequel one-shot series to a much bigger fic, currently in the works. It is definitely more Dark than Comedy, so don't expect the usual Comedy fare. It was not the intent of the fic, more the outcome of putting these characters into these situations with this story in mind. TL;DR INCREDIBLY DARK, less incredibly comedic.

Same series as VIS_016.evi, Vermillion, Vis-a-Vis, Styx Enterprises and Nick and Penny.

Chapters (10)

Thematic crossover. Knowledge of source material unnecessary, but welcome.
"Dear Ditzy,

Sorry I haven't written to you in a while. I know you haven't been at peace since you moved out. How's the kid? Is Carol City treating you alright?

Moving there might have been a mistake. I doubt you can get much work there nowadays. But don't worry, I found something perfect for you. There's a nice place over at 45 Starling Avenue, waiting for a delivery. You'll need to wear something discreet. It's in the package I included with this letter.

Hope you have a great time!

Hugs and kisses,
Red Stamp

THE GORE TAG IS HERE FOR A REASON. THIS IS ON PAR WITH THE GAMES. It probably gets old faster, though.

Thematic crossover with the Hotline Miami game series. This story employs soundtrack links in the chapters. They occasionally break.

Things will get messy. Jacket will not have sex with the main protagonist.

Collaboration with Dark Avenger. Special thanks to several other people who aren't really here at Fimfiction.

Chapters (21)

Nick and Penny have been together for fifteen years, and for fifteen years they have been proving that if you try really hard, Equestria can be an unwelcome place for you. They have done shady deals, they got half lynched after Nightmare Moon returned, they got fired from the Royal Guard, they took a bank when Discord reigned. The law would probably hesitate to put much of a price under their mugs on the posters. There are many variables about their misadventures, but two constants are the same - things will get bad, and they will always be at each other's side.

They are exactly the type to end up in Pierce Heaven, and Pierce Heaven is not merciful, either. It will eat you up. And it will not spit you out. It will not care about your constants.

So Penny is going to have to pull Nick out by force, it seems.

Proofreading and minor assistance by Dark Avenger.

Part of a prequel one-shot series to a much bigger fic, currently in the works. Rated Teen for excessive swearing by noir thug protagonist and gore for scenes of violence against highly aggressive creatures.

Same series as VIS_016.evi, Vermillion, Vis-a-Vis and Styx Enterprises.

Chapters (1)

The North is Frozen for a reason. You don't go there unless you really need to. The ponies keep to their sparkling cities, the griffons have their own business in the mountains, and other nations have no business even being near. It's not an enviable proposition, to live on the border between the ever expanding Equestria, the reclusive Griffon Empire, and whatever roams the wailing tundra.

It's a good place to hide. And a good place to look. You may have lost limb, life, and honor, but you won't lose direction if you follow well enough. As long as the contract holds.


Part of a prequel one-shot series to a much bigger fic, currently in the works. Draws heavily from certain materials, but does not act as a cross-over.

Same series as VIS_016.evi, Vermillion, Nick and Penny and Styx Enterprises.

Marked Alternate Universe because of how different the Griffons are between this story and the show. The rest in the series aren't marked because this detail doesn't concern them.

Chapters (1)

A camera case for a Crystal-tech personal recorder was found near a PHPD office in the city slums. Under the remains of what seems to once have been a poorly fabricated copy of an actual, Crystal Empire-made, novelty video recorder, a number of functional crystal records were buried.

The following footage is not advised for low rank officers and PHPD detectives not given the Comissioner's viewing permission. In case of continued accidents, access will be restricted to Enforcer and/or Princess-approved personnel.

Any hallucinations of shadow figures and inexplicable noises following the viewing of these recordings should be reported to the psychologist and the Paracriminal Division or Exorcist Corps.


Part of a prequel one-shot series to a much bigger fic, currently in the works. Draws heavily from certain materials, but does not act as a cross-over. Can be classified as Horror, but the site lacks such a tag.

Same series as VIS_016.evi, Nick and Penny, Vis-a-Vis, and Styx Enterprises.

Chapters (1)

Equestria is a wonderful, magical world, only occasionally threatened by big bad creatures that want to bring chaos to the land. The peaceful ponies have fought them off century after century through the use of magic, diplomacy, and whatever else happened to have seven colors in it.

It has come to the point where when you are a menacing digital shadow, looking over every inch of their pointless, brainless lives, they don't fear you.

They simply don't understand.

Some things you just need a good visage for.
Part of a prequel one-shot series to a much bigger fic, currently in the works. Creepy enough in its own right, I'd bet. The story it connects to... is just too relatable.

Now, if you want a reasonable person's perspective, then by all means - open it up and read.

Same series as Styx Enterprises, Nick and Penny, Vis-a-Vis and Vermillion.

Chapters (1)

[DOTA 2 Crossover]

Takes place at the very beginning of Season 3

The Undying is an ancient, once-human, undead general of endless armies. The main conductor of the Song of Death, written so painstakingly by his Dead God. Not even a stitch in space and a slip in gravity can stop his devoted crusade. Finding himself in a new grave and a new world, he continues his quest. With new power and ancient resolve, the towering abomination sets out for the new, ripe land. What can possibly stop him? Can Equestria truly fight back such a damning assault?

One thing is for sure - with the newcomers' arrival, their world is most certainly turning into a Nightmare.

Originally written in collaboration with Rinderin. I have now assumed control due to circumstances.

Cover art HERE. That is Undying.

Alternative cover art HERE. That is our hidden friend, Atropos, the Bane Elemental. Shhh, don't tell anyone.

Marked Alternate Universe due to the drastic difference in how the Griffons are organized between the show and the story.

Chapters (10)

Equestria has survived horrible disasters and overcome cruel tyrants over the course of thousands of years. No matter the danger, it persevered through the magic of friendship. It is a bright, colorful world, and its pillars are kindness, loyalty, generosity, honesty, laughter and magic.

If so, why is it so empty, bleak and abandoned?

Why do horrid visions plague his mind, pouring through into reality?

And why can't he remember his own name?

Approved by Twilight's Library.


Proofread by BookMarkofCanterlot. Without his assistance, this story would most likely have taken a few more... years to come out. Realistically speaking.

Most editing and Google Doc conversion by BLACK M3SA.

Cover art by Squji.

This is a cross-over with the Amnesia game series. Do mind, however, that if you are not familiar with the universe, it is not an issue - the most you will be missing out on is going to be a few references and the realization that the plot of the story is less original than it might seem. In case you feel utterly confused, then don't be hasty in blaming it on the crossover - it probably means that I did what I intended to do. Venturing into spoiler territory, this story does not contain any characters from the Amnesia game series, or Amnesia-related media for that matter. By TVTropes' standarts (I sincerely apologize for the mention, but take no responsibility for the countless hours you are likely to spend browsing it), it is an Elsewhere Fic for Amnesia. Yes, I am aware that links shine through spoilers. Bummer.

In another important detail that counts as a spoiler, the "Gore" tag does not stand for "Torture Porn". This story has significantly less body horror than any of the Amnesia titles. Granted, there are going to be a few squicky parts, but nothing horribly outrageous. Cupcakes veterans will be disappointed.

The dialogue formating has been reported to cause readers severe nausea, anxiety and an occasional death. Unfortunately, dashes ended up being the most optimal choice in the long run. Inner monologue uses quotation marks and spoken lines use em-dashes.

The story is going to be updated a chapter per week, as long as I have access to something that has a semblance of an Internet connection.

Chapters (11)