Happy Arbor Day! Yes, it's Arbor Day, and much to her horror, Celestia has forgotten to get her dearest sister a gift to celebrate this momentous holiday. Now she and a hapless guard must venture to Canterlot's market to find one before the day is out!

And yes, there will be blood.

Thanks to Professor Plum and AggroViking for editing.

Partially inspired by PhantomFox's "Sunny Skies All Day Long," and Explodium's "It Must Be Tuesday."

Hayseed Turnip Truck isn't the smartest pony in Equestria. Actually, to put it bluntly, he's about as sharp as a bowling ball, and just as cultured as one. But when he gets a letter from his distant cousin inviting him to the richest city in the country, even he's smart enough to see the opportunity of a lifetime presented to him. Will he be able to adapt to the snooty, pompous, and upscale life in Canterlot? How will the city's residents react to a simply country pony like him? And what could possibly ensue?

Shenanigans, hi-jinks, and hilarity, that's what, but not necessarily in that order.

Thanks to Ghost, for unwittingly letting me use his cover image.
And to AlicornPriest, for editing. Shine on you nitpicky bastard.

Spartans never die, they're just missing in action. This has never been more true for Jorge-052 as, after activating the slipspace drive that was supposed to kill him, he is instead flung into a strange world where war is but a distant memory. Will the aging soldier be able to adapt to this new peaceful planet? Or will his only salvation be found in finding a way back to his own chaotic universe?

(It's my first time, so be gentle)
Now featuring a TVTropes page by Sabo88