A crack pairing I decided to play with one day. FlimxCelestia. What happens when a debonaire stallion who could never hold down relationship meets a princess in need of companionship?
Time for a new pairing. A crack pairing! When the newspapers comments about Celestia and Flim apparently playing hoofsie in public at the opening of Flim and Flam's new store in Canterlot, rumors begin to fly that simply aren't true. But what if they were true? Celestia gets the feeling that she needs some companionship after having so much time freed up recently, and there have been few options she could really work with before. Of course, as there is no real love in this relationship, it's considered more of a social contract. An agreement for Flim to be there for her when she needs him in exchange for being the figurehead king. However, not all is peaceful, when a different king decides to unknowingly spoil the wedding the night before it takes place. Will Flim rise to the challenge or the coward in the face of the public and flee?
A Flimsy Relationship Chapter 1: What the Flimflam!
“You moron!” Flam palmed his face with both hooves. He turned his head sharply to the stairs in the two-floor store he and his brother had just acquired. “FLIM! FLIM! Get down here this instant, you charlatan in shopkeeper’s uniform!”
“Hey, there’s no need to be making slander of others,” the un-mustachioed brother marched down the steps, using his magic to tighten his bow tie. “Really? Must you use rude moniker at this time of the morning? Past dusk, I can most indubitably understand, but we need make haste to open the shop now before the consumer crowd will be in at their maximum capacity of interest in being patrons to our fine establishment.”
“Oh, Flim, will you knock it off with that silver tongue business for five minutes?” The mustachioed stallion in a straw hat slammed his hooves on the table, emphasizing the newspaper he had been reading. “Really, brother? Really? We were about to hit the big time! We were this close to making everything to our advantage without a care in the world, and you have the gall to get us in this sort of trouble?”
“Wh-what do you mean?” Flim tapped his fore hooves together, biting his lip. “You’re not telling me one of the devices has decided to short circuit on us, are you? You know I can perform maintenance in the hour.”
“This is exactly the problem, ever since you were a child.” Flam gave an exasperated moan. “When Aunt Cherry Jubilee insisted you go out to make friends, you were always inside, building cherry pickers and conveyor belts that could be managed by anypony. When it comes to technology and math and science, guess what? You’re probably the most brilliant mind there is that I know of. You can make things with your magic and two hooves that few take the time to ponder on, but your social skills are a complete wreck. You’re the famous mare-killer in the family, but you can’t even talk to a filly straightly, if it isn’t about business.” He lifted his half-full mug of cider, eyes wild, and flung it at Flim. “You are an absolute moron, doing what you did in public of all places!”
Flim ducked and used his magic to catch the mug that narrowly missed him. “Woah ho ho. Not mother’s good mugs.” He turned to face Flam. “And what are you talking about? I’ve been inside this place, ever since we came into Canterlot.”
“Oh, yes, for the rent and mortgage contracting. For the drawing up business plans with a family for reasonable commission and decent distance near Canterlot to use their apples for our product as well as a few other local farmers for the sake of pies and other warm, fruity home-cooking done by lovingly crafted machines. For the construction of your machinations and the set-up of the hall. The problem is that you were outside for perhaps the most important social event we had and ever will have here in Canterlot. Your intrapersonal ego is about to get us pitched out of our big build-up after that embarrassment in Ponyville.”
“Oh, please, the opening?” Flim chuckled. “You had your arm around Celestia’s neck just like me. It was showmanship. We had to give them flash. She’s the princess and the head of the town, after all. We were lucky to book her, with her being the princess and all.”
“Shut up. SHUT UP!” Flam rolled up the newspaper with his magic and held it up above his head as he made his way across the floor to his brother. “Do you have any idea what you have done?” He held the paper threateningly over his younger brother.
Flim smiled nervously. “P-pardon?”
Flam released a heavy sigh, before unrolling the paper and reading aloud. “Princess Celestia Caught on Film Trying to Ignore Public Display of Affection from Amorous Young Lover. Newcomer in Town Business Stallion? Or of Royal Connections?”
“What? That’s ridiculous.” Flim laughed warmly. “Honestly, why in Equestria would anypony think Celestia and I were an item? I was no closer to her than you.”
“There are pictures of you playing hoofsie with her at the opening.” Flam frowned as he turned the newspaper to his brother. He tapped the newspaper violently. “You see! You see right there! What were you doing, stomping your hoof playfully around hers like that?”
Flim looked away from the pictures and shrugged, smiling awkwardly. “Really? How do you know those photos weren’t altered by magic? I’m sure there are plenty of ponies who just want a juicy story to add some excitement to their lives. Rich and famous, after all.”
“Flim.” Flam studied his brother’s face. “You realize that you might be called on court for a story like this, right? You need to be completely honest with me here. If I don’t know the full story, then I can’t attempt to justify any of your actions while trying to be a defense witness. I could call you a philanderer, but you still haven’t shown any interest in a mare romantically, only them showing romantic interest in you. Do you realize how it looks, when the first mare you seem to hit on is a princess? The princess! The expressed ruler of all of Canterlot? Any idea? At all?”
Flim began sweating, swallowing heavily. “All right. All right.” He lowered his voice. “I was trying to steal her horseshoes, all right?”
“Come again?” Flam turned his head, listening more intently.
“I was trying to get her horseshoes off of her hooves. It’s not like we were exactly getting a royal donation at the time.” Flim folded his arms and huffed. “Really, if I took her crown, everyone would have seen it, but those shoes were solid gold. They could have helped pay some of the advance payments on the farm commissions. They would have sold for at least a few hundred bits, after all. It’s not like she doesn’t have a hundred pairs of those things back in the castle, or anything.”
“Well, okay then. That gives me something to work with at least.” Flam lowered the newspaper. He took his hat off and turned away from his brother. “So, it was just business to you? No scandalous interests? No amorous intent?” He chuckled nervously. “Well, I don’t know whether to be relieved, terrified, or ready to make you cough up an apology in front of all of Canterlot while I’m throttling you.” He ground his hooves into his temples. “Really, Flim, this is exactly what I mean. I understand you weren’t expecting anypony to have a camera aimed at your feet. I understand the need for money in an early business. I can see how you could possibly legitimize stealing from the princess, saying it was an accident, or that she had accidentally stepped out of them.” He sat down at a nearby table. “What I don’t understand is how you plan to fix all of this.”
“Excuse me?” Flim staggered back a step. “Fix this? This is nothing. I’m sure Celestia has had a few suitors in her time. It was a misunderstanding, and this will all blow over in a week.”
“Normally, I’d agree with you, my brother.” Flam lowered his hat and laid his head on the table. “I really would agree with you. What you don’t seem to understand is the level of attention you are going to get. Because you and the princess decided to play hoof tag in broad daylight in front of thousands, there is an article about it, and all of Canterlot is going to agree to being a first account witness, if they were at our shop’s opening. They’re going to go on about how they were sure they’ve seen you visiting Canterlot Castle before. This is all just a mess which we can’t rightly fix right now. We might as well just pack up and hit the road all over again. Leave for a new town.”
“Now, come on, Flam, certainly you jest.” Flim chuckled knowingly, pushing his hat back. “Princess Celestia is going to either call me a shoe-thieving rat or stay quiet about the whole affair, like I will.”
“Please, don’t use the word ‘affair’.” Flam covered his ears. “You’re only going to make this all worse than it already is. What you are asking for, right now, right NOW, is a social responsibility I don’t think you’ll be able to keep.” He threw his arms and head wildly into the air with hysteria. “Honestly, my brother, secret escort to the Canterlot queen. Oh, that’ll be the headlines. Millennia-old princess of Equestia takes youthful consort after so many years of being a spinster. Rogue from the industry line makes it to grand lines through nighttime rendezvous with the ruler of the day. That’s it. That’s just it. We are done for. Either we are going to be pinned for slander, or you are going to have to take responsibility to amend the fault you have caused.”
“Really, if it’s just a matter of telling the press that they’re wrong, I’d be willing to make it a public announcement. It’s just a mistake. I could say that I was just trying to get a burr out of my hoof and the princess didn’t want me to step on her hoof. There are lots of things I could say.” Flim nodded firmly.
“And then if Celestia does ‘keep quiet’?” Flam turned sharply on his brother. “Then what happens? Celestia is announced to be suffering for months over a broken heart, and that’s why she refuses to talk about you or acknowledge that you even exist?” He snorted. “Might as well just pack up and leave town, before the guard goes on a stallion hunt.”
“Brother of mine, listen to yourself.” Flim placed a caring hoof on Flam’s shoulder. “Really, you make it sound like this was being told as gospel truth, being preached in the very sanctum of the castle to thousands of ponies. This is just idle gossip. A little sweet hay for the old and crotchety folk to go chattering about as they watch the colts and fillies play in the streets. Something for young mares to tell each other while they are getting their manes done. It’s harmless.”
“And if it isn’t?” Flam insisted. “What happens, should it be that this isn’t harmless, like you call it? What happens if it is taken for gospel truth? What happens, when we have all of Canterlot beating down our door, demanding to see Celestia’s beau? Oh, this is a fine mess you have gotten us into, Flim. A fine, stinking, ripe, unmitigated, tarnished, rancid, despicable, corroding, irrefutable crock of fish for the otter feed!”
“Only because you’re making a big deal out of it.” Flim nodded, hoping to affirm his own point.
Taking a few deep breaths, Flam held his head. “All right. All right. I am going to ask this plainly, and only once so. Should it be that we find ourselves in the situation where not everything is going to be considered gossip? Where we find that, due to Celestia’s high rank in society, nopony is going to forget this piece of ‘news’? Despite all of your protests, you will either have to accept that you are Princess Celestia’s lover or the one who broke her heart, are you going to just saddle up in the middle of the night and leave town, hoping to just be a whisper on the wind? Or are you going to stay and take the social responsibility you now find yourself in the middle of?”
Flim turned his head away to the window. “This doesn’t mean what I think you mean, does it?”
“Flim?” Flam’s expression became stern.
“I don’t really know.” Flim swallowed. “The situation has never come up before. If you are proposing that I propose…?”
“Then I suggest you stay upstairs today.” Flam nodded insistently. “I can work the machines without you, but we don’t need a lot of unwanted attention. Just stay out of sight and keep a low profile. I’ll bring you something, when business is slow, but we can’t really risk anything right now.”
“I suppose not,” Flim admitted, rubbing the back of his head. He walked dejectedly to the stairs. “I’m telling you it’s nothing.”
The older, mustachioed brother ignored the younger as he headed to the front door. He turned the little sign in the window to ‘open’.
“So, that’s the way it is, then?” Flim sighed as he opened the door to the upper floor. “I hope nothing breaks down on you, then.” He closed the door behind him as he entered his current hiding spot.
~
It was not unusual, as Princess Luna left the night in the midst of morning, for her to be the one in the palace to pick up the newspaper, giving her some reading before she took her rest. Her eyes grew quite wide as she saw the front page. She tucked the newspaper beneath her wing, before entering the castle that was the highlight of Canterlot.
As the black-pelted mare walked along the hall, she didn’t even bother to greet any of the guards. She had a focus for this morning, and she was going to pursue it.
Entering the dining chamber, the younger of the princesses of night and day amused herself with some toast, teasing the crust off of it as she waited for her older sister. It was a simple breakfast, but she didn’t make much for food. After all, she was more tired after staying up all night. She just sat quietly with her toast, chewing softly.
Once it was mid-morning, the sun well in the air, the black princess made her way to the throne room. She rubbed the drowsiness from her eye, before approaching her sister at the daily grind. “Well, someone dost seem appeased this morning,” she motioned.
Celestia looked up from some of her paperwork. “Oh, Luna, so good to see you awake. I was wondering if I could talk some things over with you.”
“Dost thou meaneth in reference to the public announcement we have seen today?” Luna raised an eyebrow of concern.
“What are you talking about?” Celestia took her turn to raise an eyebrow. “Really, Luna, what do you even mean? I was talking about some of the new businesses in town.”
“Exactly what we speaketh of, dear sister,” Luna retorted, her brow furrowing. She removed the newspaper from beneath her wing. “The morning crier’s paper doth bear witness of thy absconding with a commoner of recent arrival.”
“Absconding?” Celestia chuckled warmly. “Oh, Luna, whatever are you referring to? I have been polite to the newcomers in town and helped with some real estate concerns, but I wouldn’t say I’ve absconded with anyone.”
“The daily crier writes elsewise, sister! We have seen it!” Luna unfolded the newspaper with her magic and held it out as plain as day. “There is accurate detailing in image and script of thy actions of hoof-oriented fun with a fellow of new origin within Canterlot’s walls.”
“Oh, that,” Celestia smiled as she took the paper and looked over the photographs. She mused to herself a moment. “It really is all fake, I can assure you. Well, the photos aren’t faked, but the situation was different than what they wrote here.”
“Explain thyself,” Luna demanded.
“He was trying to take my slippers, but I could tell. Definitely thinks himself the slick gentlecolt, but it was obvious at the time, so I simply avoided having him step on my slipper. I probably would have given them as a charity act, if he had simply asked.” The princess laughed. “After all, it’s not like I don’t have a hundred pairs of these or anything.”
“Thou sayest thou wouldst have made amicable offering to this stranger?” Luna stepped towards her sister rather cautiously. She avoided the papers and scrolls on the floor as she neared the throne. “Why should thou show such sympathy to this stallion whom thou knowest not?”
“Oh, it would have been a public relations matter, I assure you.” Celestia waved the comment off blithely. “After all, it’s just some idle gossip. It’s really nothing to get worked up about.”
“Nay, dear sister!” Luna held up a hoof in protest. “A work like this is gossip when made of a commoner, someone who is not of such central focus, someone desiring their fifteen minutes of fame. Such is not the case for royalty. When such falsities are cited about a mare of thy standing, they are slander. Slander, we tell you!” She stomped her hoof sharply on the ground. She turned away from her sister. “We must approach the printing press and bring halt to these sinful curses of thy good name. Lies and lies, and the truth must be known.”
“Oh, you don’t have to get so worked up, Luna.” Celestia stood up and walked over beside her sister. “The papers are all out by now, anyways. Even if we were to have them stop the printers, I’m sure this,” she stifled a laugh, “‘news’ is already all across Canterlot. We would have to wait until tomorrow for any sort of amendment to even be printed.” She smirked playfully. “Besides, it looks like someone is a little late getting their rest.”
“Nonsense! We be a mare of a thousand years, a divine power which does not rest.” Luna yawned, covering her mouth. She clipped her mouth shut. “We… see thy point. But thou canst not stand for this. Thou must take recourse to defend thy honor and high standing. Make up a reason to pacify the crowds before they do riot. Tell them that it be a prank of Discord’s. They shall surely believe thee.”
“Ooh, can’t do that.” Celestia tapped her chin. “Discord is over in Saddle Arabia. His chocolate rain certainly is popular over there. It’s good that he can get out, you know.”
“Then tell the truth.” Luna stared sternly at her sister. “Certainly the faith of thy subjects is not so lost as to not have them believe thee.”
“They’ll probably think I’m being shy.” Celestia gave a good-natured chuckle. “Really, I’ve been around for more than a thousand years. Do you think the public would be impressed if I tried to renounce any rumors about me being romantically involved with a young stallion? It’s not exactly a dark secret, you know. Just some harmless fun.”
“Verily, we shall consent,” Luna dismissed with a minor huff. “We suppose that, should nothing come of fruition to this rumor, it will blow away from the ears and lips of the public as quickly as it arrived. Thou art wisest in these things.”
“Hmm,” Celestia mused, tapping her chin again, this time looking rather pensive with her grin.
“Thy actions trouble us, sweet sister.” Luna nudged Celestia slightly to get her attention. “What be it that thou plot? We fear it shall rest at ill with us.”
“Oh, it’s just as I said it right now. More than a thousand years old. Before you were tainted and banished to the moon, we banished Discord, then you getting possessed and being banished. I was responsible for night and day for at least a thousand years.” Celestia smiled quaintly. “Now, I no longer need to worry about taking care of the night, and Twilight and her friends have cleansed your mind. Discord has been converted to good. King Sombra is banished for all eternity through use of the Crystal Heart. Twlight is no longer my personal immediate trainee, having learned all she needed to join our ranks in princesses. I find that recently, even with the paperwork, a lot of my time has been freed up. Certainly, I get invited to parties, but it’s not as though much happens at the castle anymore.” Her smile cracked wider. “I can’t help but think it might be fun just to… have a little excitement around the castle. Some which isn’t going to threaten to destroy all of Equestria.”
“Surely thou canst not mean what we thinkest thou desire.” Luna seemed to be pleading.
“Oh, maybe…” Princess Celestia looked away wistfully from her sister, her hair flowing in the draft that just picked up through the castle. “What do you think I’m thinking, Luna? Certainly it can’t be that bad.”
“We fear that thou plan to indulge this crippling rumor.” Luna frowned. “Thou art into the mischief of making what should have been gossip into reality.”
“Am I now?” Celestia bowed her head with a chuckle. “Well, I suppose it could be a little fun from the norm. What could be the harm, after all?”
“Sister, forgive us, we cannot tell thee whom thou shalt marry, but this seems most… peculiar.” Luna’s ears flattened against her head as she walked ahead of her sister down the hall. “We find this a most disturbing development. Why shouldst thou decide to wed now?” She turned to look at her sister. “And so suddenly? Is this a plan of revenge? A petty game, then?”
“Do I look like Discord to you?” Celestia narrowed her eyes. “I am not playing a game here. I am making a life decision.” She paused and shook her head. “What I meant is that I am considering this important to do right now. It’s great to have you back, never doubt that, but having you and Twilight and her friends in my life really made me realize that, well,” she shrugged and let out a long sigh, “I was awfully alone during those thousand years.”
“We see…” Luna paused and sat on the floor. She bit her lip as she thought quietly. After a moment, she lifted her head. “Forgive us, sister, we did not mean to soil thy prestige. However, thou must realize that this is… a most unusual thing to say the least. Certainly thou realize that thou art never alone in this world.”
“I know.” Celestia smiled warmly. “Forget what I mentioned. I did not mean for it to come out so darkly. I just meant that maybe I should, I don’t know, realize queenship after so long.”
Luna stayed quiet as she watched her sister. What could she really say? Polite or rude, this was a difficult question to answer. It was true that she and Celestia never seemed to age, but would that be a for always thing? Maybe being stuck on the moon had left the poor black-pelted sister somewhat juvenile in mind. Maybe this was just her being too drowsy to think straight and was imagining everything. Whatever the matter, the fact was, “We need rest. We cannot tell thee how thou shouldst live thy life, dear sister. All we ask is one simple question. Thou canst scarcely know his name, so why… why him? Why dost thou, a princess of Equestria, choose to take interest in a constallion who attempted to steal thy shoes in broad daylight? We cannot reason this.”
“Because,” Celestia replied simply, “he is perhaps the closest one to have shown interest in me without being an ‘oh princess, allow us to praise thee’ sort of fashion. Perhaps it is the fact that he likely does not care that I am a princess, or else he would have feared to take my shoes all the more.”
“Then it is reason enough,” Luna confessed as she walked passed her sister and towards her bed chamber. “We wish thou and thy love the best then.”
“Love?” Celestia chuckled warmly. “I never said anything about love.” She turned to realize that her sister was already gone. She sighed and turned away. It was tough being the day and sister to the night, mentor to the dusk, and of the position where only the most chaotically of minded ponies would approach her without withering at her sight. “What I need is companionship,” she told herself as she headed for the palace doors.
Exiting the castle, the guards stood at attention to the princess.
Princess Celestia bowed her head to set the soldiers at ease. “Guard, I will need a small protection party as I go out. I am athirst now.”
“But what is it that you want that you can’t get in the palace?” the sub-captain of the Equestrian Pegasus Guard asked, looking surprised at the princess’s actions.
Celestia smiled and simply uttered, “I am looking to get some new cider.”
A Flimsy Relationship Chapter 2: Financing the Fiancé
Of course, being one of the newest buildings in town, the Flim-Flam Brothers’ Cider Saloon was an immediate fad. Anypony who was somepony had to take at least one stop in, some to write reviews in order to be praised by others, some to claim they were the first to be there, and some to simply fit in with the popular crowd. The place was packed on its second day of business.
Flam was rushing from one end of the bar to the other, taking care of orders. The machines were working smoothly, that was certain, but one pony was still awfully exhausted after dealing with hundreds of orders in such a short timeframe. Curiously, nopony had taken the time to ask about Flim. It was an obvious case of ‘out of sight, out of mind’, even if Flam looked similar to Flim. He wasn’t just about ready to risk letting his brother downstairs yet, though.
“So, who had the apple pie?” the mustachioed unicorn asked as he turned from the machines and headed to the front again. “And who had the ch- A-ah!” He flinched, though he kept the dessert plates balanced.
Many in the small restaurant scuttled from one side to the other or back again to get out of the way of the door. They weren’t scared so much as trying to be respectful as the white-pelted ruler of Canterlot entered the store. Her guards waited outside as she walked in. Her strut was with obvious purpose. Her intense gaze razed the poor owner as soon as it laid on him.
Flam placed the plates down on the counter and began clacking his hooves together. An obvious sweat formed on his brow as he gave a broad, awkward grin. “Y-your highness, how a-a-are you?” He swallowed to try to gain composure. “Is there anything I can do for you? I wasn’t expecting to see you here.” His eyes shifted around the room, half terrified and half daring anyone to so much as mention the newspaper article.
“Well, I just realized,” Celestia placed a musing hoof on her chin, “that even though I did cut the ribbon to open your store, I didn’t take the time to try any of your wares. I guess I just wasn’t focused enough on being grateful to our newest residents.”
“Oh, no problem at all. No problem at all.” Flam bowed, banging his horn against the counter. He held his head as he stood back up and shook it quickly. He cleared his throat. “As you can see, our place is well-built. Don’t find this quality much anymore.”
“Well, maybe, but that’s not what I’m really concerned about right now.” Celestia sat politely at the bar, knowing that there were many eyes watching her every move. Except for formal events, she didn’t leave the castle often, so she could understand, so she didn’t make issue of it. It was their choice to stare after her, and she was actually counting on it. She smiled and folded her forelegs as she looked at Flam. “So, tell me, what all do you serve here, then?”
“Well, um, uh, we obviously have cider. Apple and pear. White grape juice and red grape juice. Pies of all kinds and sizes. A few other dishes of good new-fashioned, old-fashioned cooking.” Flam nodded. “Just some sweet comfort food.”
“So I see.” Celestia looked up as though she were thinking. She furrowed her brow, thinking quietly. After a moment, she tapped her forehooves together and grinned. “I’ll take as much as this will get me.” She loosened the gold shoe off of her left hoof and placed it heavily on the counter. She nodded. “I’m afraid that I didn’t really think about bringing a coin purse with me. I don’t go shopping often, after all.”
Great. As if that smile wasn’t unnerving enough. Flam was sweating even more heavily. He pulled on his collar and nodded. “I’m sure I could fix you up with something nice.” He motioned to take the shoe.
“But is it enough?” Celestia mused with a smile. She unfastened the shoe from her left hoof and placed it on the counter as well. “I mean, I haven’t taken the time to even look at the menu, after all.” She quirked a daring eyebrow towards the unicorn behind the counter, smirking.
Flam moved to take the shoes. “Trust me, madam, this will be enough to buy you a banquet of pies and cider.” He chuckled nervously. His eyes were bloodshot from fear.
“Are you certain? I wouldn’t want to underpay you,” Celestia teased. She knew this wasn’t the one she was looking for. He was much too nervous around her, and the mustache made it obvious which brother was which. With magic, the shoes from her two back hooves were removed and placed on the counter to make the total of four.
It was as though the building itself gasped with the shock seen from the other ponies present to this most rare of occasions.
“Princess, you’d be able to buy our business with all t-th-th-th-thi-Flim!” Flam turned and bolted from the counter, leaving the shoes flying. He dashed passed the machines and to the very back of the bottom floor. He picked up a tin can on a string and began wailing into it, “FLIM! FLIM! SHE’S HERE! SHE’S HERE AND SHE KNOWS!”
While Flam was listening into the can, he shook it, looking around the back of the storeroom frantically, the door to the upper living quarters opened, revealing the sealed away member of the brotherly team. “Well of course she knows, Flam. It’s not like we moved overnight.”
Another gasp was taken as the unicorn elegantly slid down the railing to the base floor. He stood rather proudly as he watched many of the ponies draw newspapers and begin murmuring amongst themselves. It was an obvious case of instant celebrity.
The unicorn, after having his fill of momentary glory, trotted over to the counter and smirked. “My dear lady, you need not give us your shoes in payment. For fear for thy delicate hooves, I have. What if they should trip on stone or more brutish obstacle on the way to the castle?” He bounced his eyebrows a couple times.
Celestia was surprised at first. She thought he was just regarding her as the princess, but that expression clearly said otherwise. Is he… is he actually flirting with me? She stared at him with silent surprise. He’s so bold about it, too.
Flim plucked the shoes off of the counter with his magic and offered them back to the princess. “Pray tell, milady, if you really feel the need to give patronage to our humble establishment, you may start a tab with us, but let’s not risk those precious hooves.” He cocked one eyebrow knowingly as he gestured to replace the slippers. “I know how delicate they are, after all,” he mentioned, referencing the article.
The whispers and quips amongst the others in the store became wild at this comment, many of the ponies hiding their gossiping faces behind their papers.
Not getting an answer on the lowest piece of technology in the store, Flam’s mustache became quite deflated as he realized what was happening. His ears twitched towards Flim’s voice out front. He was at a dead canter as he rushed to the front of the store, needing to force himself not to collide with the counter. He looked between the two.
“Why the exasperation, brother of mine?” Flim asked with a smile towards Flam. “Certainly you know Princess Celestia.” He made gesture for introductions. “Celestia, I present Flam, my older brother. Flam, meet Princess Celestia.”
“It’s so nice to meet you, Flam,” Celestia agreed in acknowledgement.
Flam’s jaw dropped. His brother was being so casual. Was this really the Flim who could only talk to an audience?
Finding the silence laughable, Flim waved off his brother. “Now come on, Flam, Celestia stopped by for nourishment. Get her what she wants. My treat. I was the one who made this place, after all.
Flam blinked silently.
Celestia blushed. “Oh, please, I do at least insist on the tab.”
“Nonsense. Nonsense!” Flim held himself proudly. “You, my dear, do not come to my establishment to be treated like royalty just because you are royal,” he insisted. “I plan on treating you right, is all.” He winked at her. “After all, once everypony sees how you like it here, they’ll know who the best around is, am I right?” He turned and waved his arms in the air for the other customers.
Raising their mugs and pies as a toast, everypony else in the establishment cheered upon his call.
Flim nodded and turned back to the counter. “Get two of the classics for me and Celestia to share then.” He turned to Celestia. “That is all right, isn’t it, sweetheart?” he asked smoothly.
Celestia stared at the stallion addressing her with such informality a moment, only one eye visible from behind her flowing pastel mane. It sent a shiver down her spine as he called her ‘sweetheart’. However, noticing the glint in his eye, she soon smirked and nodded. “Why, of course, Flim. It is supposed to be the best in Equestria. At least, that’s what your sign outside says,” she commented, not realizing these two stallions were the ones that nearly ran Applejack out of business.
“Indeed it is. Indeed it is,” Flim affirmed.
Flam half-mindedly nodded and turned from the pair, before heading to the cider machine. He shakily reached for a couple mugs and placed them in position for the machine to pour cider into. Pulling a lever, the mugs were both soon filled with frothy cider. He took the mugs and set them in front of Princess Celestia and Flim. He swallowed, before offering a hospitable smile. “Enjoy, won’t you.” He backed away from the two, before turning to others to take their orders. I don’t know whether I should allow this train to wreck or not, he told himself in his head, keeping a watchful eye on the princess and his brother.
Flim nodded and tipped his hat. “Thank you very much, brother.” He waved, before turning to Celestia. “Well, bottoms up.” He swung his head back as he drank from the mug with a wide smile on his face.
Celestia turned to her mug and took a polite sip. Her cheeks became rosy from the sweetness. “It is awfully good,” she confessed as she lowered her mug.
“Family recipe,” Flim conceded. “Course, I never did have my mother’s delicate hooves or mouth to actually churn the stuff. Only her sense of smell to pick the best apples and spices to be put in, so I invented a machine which could match her recipe instead and produce it in mass.”
“Well, that’s awfully endearing.” Celestia stared into her mug thoughtfully. “Does your mother care about the machine.”
“I admit that homemade cider is the best,” Flim nodded quietly. “But like I said, I can’t make it, and my parents died while Flam and I were colts. We grew up on a cherry orchard with our aunt, though I did get the recipe eventually. “
“Oh…” Celestia puzzled with herself a moment, thinking about where her own mother must be.
“Ah, but enough about me, gorgeous, what about you?” Flim furrowed his brow this time, looking quite serious. He lowered his voice, “Seriously, what are you doing here? It’s great to have the princess here and everything, but last time I checked you don’t exactly make house calls just because you feel like it.”
Celestia’s eyes fluttered in surprise at the sudden change in the unicorn stallion’s tone. However, she recovered as soon as she was baffled. She nodded wisely. “I see you know when to play around and when not to,” she observed.
“Look, if this is about the shoes thing,” Flim noted, using his magic to finally replace the gold slippers back on Princess Celestia’s hooves, “I get it, you caught me. End of story. Don’t worry. It’ll never happen again. If you were that hurt by it, throw me in the dungeon for a month or so, slap my wrist, and send me on my way. It’s really a no harm no foul situation here.”
Celestia nodded as she continued drinking. She paused as she wasn’t sure whether the tickle in her throat was from stifling a laugh at the confession or from the bubbles of the cider. She took a moment for the tickle to settle, before replying, “This isn’t about the shoes, but thank you for coming clean on that.” She finished her mug of cider and turned from the bar. She stood up and walked nimbly. As she reached the door, she turned and smiled. “Come, Flim, we have much to discuss at the castle.”
Flim blinked for a moment after the white mare, before jumping off of his seat. “Oh right! The castle! Why didn’t you just say so in the first place?” He followed after the princess with a merry little trot. He paused as he noticed the guards outside, but continued on his way. Whispers of “They do make a cute couple,” and “It’s about time Celestia thought about settling down,” did not escape his ear.
~
The walk to the castle had been painfully silent as Flim did not want to offset the guards and Celestia seemed more focused on getting the unicorn stallion to the castle than talking to him at the time. Once at the castle, Celestia and Flim were allowed through the doors while the guards such them inside of the castle.
After a moment of their walking solitude, Flim finally quipped, “So, did you want to talk or something? You said that I was cleared of the shoe charge.”
“Yes, but that does not mean I am done with you.” Celestia raised an eyebrow in curiosity at the stallion. “How is it that you were able to talk to me so smoothly back there? It was as though you had never seen a crown before.”
“Listen, princess, if I hadn’t come down and smooth-talked you, I was sure that my brother was going to crack and blame himself for the shoe theft, when there wasn’t a real shoe theft.” Flim shrugged. “Besides, I’ve lived almost my entire life off of my magic and my silver tongue. I’m adept at dealing with mares.”
“So I see.” Celestia tapped her chin thoughtfully as she looked ahead. She sat firmly on the floor as she considered what to say. “So, it was mostly about business for you, then?”
“Well, I wouldn’t necessarily say that,” Flim said as he sat down by Celestia. “But I was looking after my brother. He’s quick to make friends, but he worries there’s trouble, he does things a little hastily, you know?”
“And he seemed so cool-headed the other day.” Celestia chuckled warmly. She took a deep breath and gave a light sigh. She pondered the shorter unicorn for a moment. “What if I told you that I had a business proposition for you?”
“Well, I suppose I’d be curious.” Flim looked back up at Celestia. “It’s not exactly every day you make business with royalty.” He took his hat off of his head and laid it on the ground. “What exactly did you have in mind? A catering job? Need a daily cider delivery?”
“Not precisely.” Celestia stared away from the unicorn again. “To be honest, I have most of what anypony would want right here. I have servants who will get me what I ask for. I have guards. I have the adoration of the citizens of Equestria. However, I can’t say that I have much of what I want.”
“Really?” Flim popped his lips, looking around just the front hall of the castle. “Sounds like you’ve got it made, though. I mean, you practically control all of Equestria by yourself.”
“It’s true that I was in control of everything, but you have to realize now that much of the danger in Equestria has settled, so long as Tartarus is not disturbed.” Celestia took a deep breath and released it in a slow sigh. “I have to admit, too, that even though I have my sister back, she spends much of the day sleeping, and even when I stay up for her, she is often visiting other ponies’ dreams.”
“Oh, sister troubles.” Flim tilted from side to side as he thought. “Well, you know, I am the younger brother. I’m not sure I’m quite the one to help you out. My brother says I’m the troublesome one, after all.”
Celestia chuckled genuinely. “That’s not exactly what I meant.” She stood up and spread her wings. “You know that I don’t really run the academy for gifted unicorns, right? Twilight Sparkle was my closest and most faithful student, and even her lessons are over now.” She smiled. “It feels like only yesterday that she was asking me to help her reach the top shelf because she couldn’t use her magic yet to get those books.”
Flim tapped his hoof against the floor, thinking. “All right, princss, you’re going to have to spell things out for me here, because I’m afraid I’m having trouble keeping up with the tangents,” he confessed.
“Right. I suppose I should stop reminiscing and get to the point.” Celestia stood up boldly, turning to Flim. “Flim, I know that this may seem rather sudden, but I find myself in need of companionship.”
“Companionship?” Flim stared up at the mare’s impressive height and paused. His eyes grew wide. “COMPANIONSHIP!?” He began to feel light-headed as he teetered in place. He shook his head before covering his face with his hooves. “You have got to be kidding me. You do remember that I was trying to steal your shoes yesterday, right?”
“Yes, and it was rather fun,” Celestia politely teased. “The fact of the matter, however, is that I find you interesting. You don’t seem to exactly respect that I’m a princess aside from the fact that you understand that I do have power. You’re energetic and apparently romantic, when you feel like it. These are traits which I see as good in a companionship.” She nodded.
“Wait.” Flim raised an eyebrow. “So, you’re not confessing love to me here or anything like that? You just want someone to be by your side?”
“I think you’re getting it now.” Celestia dipped her head. “You see, I find it difficult at times to be left alone. I know many think that I like being left alone to my work, but even work is only a mild distraction at most from the emptiness of conversation. Thus why I enjoyed Twilight Sparkle’s letters about friendships. I still get letters now, but at times it just reminds me that I really am by myself up here.”
“But you have your sister and the guards.” Flim raised an eyebrow. “What exactly do you need me for?” He picked his hat back up to place it on his head.
“Like I said, I don’t get as much time as I would like with my sister, and the guards do have their own lives.” Celestia coyly took the straw hat away from the unicorn stallion and examined it. “To be blunt,” she blinked her eyes, and the straw hat became a golden circlet. “I would like you to be my king.”
“KING?!” Flim jumped in shock so suddenly, he tripped over himself and flipped over his back. He shook his head and quickly stood up. He held his forehooves up defensively. “Now, princess, please, you’re a beautiful mare, but this is all so sudden. I can’t be king. I don’t know enough about Equestrian law. I have no business being royalty! I’m a business-pony. I don’t even have the first idea about what to do as king.”
Celestia chuckled softly and she polished the circlet before her. “That, actually, makes you more qualified.” She moved the small crown over to Flim’s head. “‘King’ is just a title. I’d have to talk to Luna to see if she remembers better than I, but mares have always been the leaders of Equestria, princesses and queens. Stallions, if you’ll pardon me, always seemed a little more corruptible.” She made an effort not to mention previous examples. “So the fact that you refused to be king makes you all the more worthy.”
“What? Oh, come on, that’s just nonsense.” Flim waved his right hoof before his face, shooing the idea off. “Really, why would you want me to be king? We don’t even have a history together.”
“You know that, and I know that, but that doesn’t mean that my subjects know that,” Celestia commented.
“Huh?” Flim stopped to think. “Oh, oh yeah! That’s right! The newspaper.” He paused as he realized he was proving the princess’s point. He shook his head. “Now, hold on, Celestia. If it’s just a title, then what exactly are you wanting me to do?”
“Like I said,” Celestia rolled her revealed eye, obviously becoming weary of repeating herself already, “what I want is companionship. In exchange,” she mused with a smile, “you get to live here in the castle with me. You’ll be considered the talk of the town, I believe they say. You get to be the rightful right-hoof stallion over all of Equestria.”
Flim considered his predicament a moment. “So let me get this straight.” He stood up and walked leisurely towards Princess Celestia, “I get to live in the castle, free room, free board, free food, free time to work on my inventions rather than working the whole day long, and all I have to do make sure you have someone to talk to during the middle of the day? Make sure you can share every meal with someone? Make sure you don’t attend parties alone and that you aren’t the wallflower during the slow dances at the gala?” he asked, looking amused.
“Well, in not so many words… yes,” Celestia replied. She snapped the circlet in the air, and it returned to being a straw hat. “That is, if you are willing to take such wages.”
Stroking his chin, Flim now had a knowing grin plastered across his face. “Well, now, how could I say no to such a lovely damsel as yourself?” he asked, bowing like a gentlecolt. He stood back up and led her along. “Now, come on. I best get a tour of this place, before we plan too far ahead.”
Celestia chuckled to herself, before marching with an obvious strut. She spread her wings broadly, before cupping one around Flim.
The male unicorn cried out in shock, but soon realized that he was fine. It was an unfamiliar sensation, having the wing against him, but he soon realized that the downy feeling of the wing was rather comforting. He walked a little closer to her.
It wasn’t long until the two entered the dining hall. It was the lunching hour, after all. It wasn’t a surprise to see two of the castle’s other residents. Princess Twilight Sparkle and Prince Blueblood were enjoying lunch together. Though it may have seemed strange, Celestia was rather glad that her nephew took a liking to her student, even if it was solely for the shallow reason that she was a princess. He didn’t get out of the castle very often, so he had made a rather presumptuous ego to cover for his cowardice for much of the outside world. At least having Twilight Sparkle made him feel comfortable talking to somepony other than himself. He had even started educating himself further just to understand some of the conversations he was having with the newest princess.
Of course, both heads turned to Princess Celestia as she walked into the room.
Twilight Sparkle turned to the incoming white mare, “Oh, Princess Celestia, good mor-”
Prince Blueblood raised his hoof as well. “Hello, aun-“
Both froze with their eyes trained on the unicorn that Celestia revealed from beneath her wing. They seemed shocked at the idea of Celestia being with anyone.
“Um, auntie,” Prince Blueblood choked out. “Who… who is this?”
“I’ll tell you who that is!” Princess Twilight slammed her hooves on the table, standing up. “That’s Flim of the Flim-Flam brothers! What’s he doing here?”
“Ah, but that’s something I should be the one to answer for!” Flim stood up proudly. “Miss Sparkle, I believe, or Princess Sparkle, I guess now.”
“Flim, please, you’ve introduced me to your brother, Flim,” Celestia stated softly. “Allow me to make introductions here.” She stood forward, using her wing to block the sales-pony from view. “I take it you have issue with my new fiancé, Twilight?” She looked curiously at the shorter alicorn princess.
“He and his brother nearly ran Applejack and her family off of her farm!” Twilight shouted.
“Now, I resent that remark,” Flim interjected.
Celestia used her wing as a complete curtain to separate the yellow unicorn and the purple alicorn. “Yes, I believe I remember that letter. Apparently the time Applejack learned nothing, I believe?”
Twilight gave Princess Celestia a blank look. She blushed and turned her head away slightly. “I guess I didn’t really get to proofread that one. I’m usually so good about checking those letters for grammar problems, before giving them to Spike. I must have missed that one.”
“Oh ho ho. Don’t worry about it.” Celestia shook her head in a way which redeemed Twilight Sparkle in her eyes. “Applejack mentioned a wholesome ordeal about how she could rely on her friends when she’s in trouble. Still, Flim has been running an honest business with his brother in Canterlot recently, so I should hope you two can make-up.”
“Yes, yes, that’s all well and good, but let’s look at the real problem here,” Prince Blueblood proclaimed as he walked from the table and up to the ruler of Equestria. “Exactly when did you decide to get married?! A fiancé? Did I not hear right? Certainly you would have informed me on the matter!”
It took Twilight Sparkle a moment to register this new information. Once ingested, however, her eyes went wild. “You’re MARRYING him?!” She became quite rigid with her exclamation.
“Well, yes,” Celestia confessed.
“To a COMMONER!” Prince Blueblood’s face was awash with horror.
“That’s not exactly the point, Blueblood,” Twilight told her newest friend while holding her head. She shook it heavily as though attempting to relieve a headache. “You know, it’s not like there’s really that much royalty outside of your family.”
“Actually, I suppose that is true,” Prince Blueblood confessed.
“What does matter is that you should have told somepony,” Twilight Sparkle told Princess Celestia. “Really, I could have warned you about how Flim is just a creep who is only going to marry you for your money.”
Flim ducked beneath Celestia’s wing and stood up firmly. “Now that is absolutely not true!” He paused and looked to see if Princess Celestia was going to stop him again.
Twilight Sparkle furrowed her brow and gave the yellow unicorn a stern look. “All right, then tell me why you’re suddenly so interested in Princess Celestia?”
“Are you kidding?” Flim, taking Celestia’s nod to boast, quickly turned and gestured to her. “You might not know this about me, but I love mares with long legs.” He smirked as he stood at full height on his rear legs, emphasizing Celestia’s height. He doubled over and gestured to her legs. “And tell me, until you get to Saddle Arabia, is there any mare you know who has such marvelous marble towers as our fair princess here!”
He grabbed onto Celestia’s mane and held it out like a blanket. “And look at this marvelous mane! This is such a beautiful array of pastels and it’s so thick and luxurious.” He smirked. “It also makes the perfect curtain for a moment for two in a public area.” He took the billowing hair and draped it around himself and Celestia’s head. Holding the hair in place with one hoof, he playfully kissed his free hoof in order to make a believable kissing noise.
Celestia raised on of her hooves off of the ground and covered her mouth with a giggle. “Oh, Flim, please. Don’t tease them.”
“Very well, PC,” Flim released the mane and smirked at the gawking prince and princess as his curtain was swept away. He leaned against a nonexistent rail to emphasize his bold act.
The already socially awkward Twilight Sparkle seemed the more put off by the socially awkward act. “Okay. I’ll just… I’ll just be in the library, then,” she commented as she stepped back. “Meet me in there later, Prince Blueblood?”
“Um, yeah. Yeah!” Prince Blueblood replied as he was rubbing the back of his head, seeming more confused than anything. He gave an exhausted sigh after the newest princess had left the room. He ran a hoof down his face. “At least, at LEAST, tell me you’ll be doing this wedding right.”
“Sure thing, future nephew of mine.” Flim winked. He turned to Celestia. “So, what do you say, Dollface? For hors d’oeurves what do you think of those little quiche with the truffles and lightly fried tomatoes in them? I mean, variety is normally best in these big parties, but I’m just suggesting.”
“I’m sure they’ll be fine.” Celestia nodded, blushing slightly.
“Oh-okay, then.” Prince Blueblood nodded as he left the room, staring awkwardly at the supposed couple.
After the two other residents of the castle had left, Celestia took a moment to stare down at Flim as he stood firmly on his own four hooves again. She had to stifle a laugh. “I have to admit, Flim, that was pretty slick of you.”
“Well, it keeps them on the trail we want for now,” Flim proposed. “Besides, like I said before, you are a beautiful mare.”
Celestia blushed lightly at the compliment but nodded. She stretched out her wings again, groaning as her expression became busily serious. She smiled at Flim nonetheless. “Care to join me for some paperwork?”
“Ooh, I’d love to,” Flim replied as he walked alongside the white mare deeper into the castle. “Don’t suppose you need any numbers crunched, then.”
Chuckling, Celestia realized how perfect a business partner she had chosen for this venture. “I’m sure there will be, Flim. I’m sure there will be.”
It had been two days since Flim had arrived at the castle, and it was surprisingly calm inside the walls. There was no assault on the castle doors by the press and paparazzi (though having Pegasus guards who could patrol the skies against even the snoopiest shutterbug likely helped in this respect). There were no calls from the social media. There wasn’t even a complaint about the newspapers from Luna. Rather, it had been a peaceful existence at the time.
Princess Celestia and Flim were sitting in the throne room, Celestia upon her throne, and Flim upon a stool at a work bench he had the guards move into the throne room. Both were working together in the close proximity of each other. The silence wasn’t nearly as deafening with two ponies in one room. It was a peaceable quiet, waiting to be broken.
After a few minutes of listening to the new rhythm in her life, Celestia turned her head around the throne and looked at Flim. “What are you working so intently on?”
Flim turned around, raising a visor off of his eyes. “Oh, sorry, Celestia. Thought using magic would make the whole process quiet. Didn’t mean to bother you.”
“That’s not what I meant,” Celestia replied as she stood up and walked over to the desk. She raised an eyebrow as she observed the boxes on the desk. “What is that?”
“Oh, this?” Flim took hold of one of the metal boxes and pulled it towards himself. “Well, while sorting through some of your documents, I observed some had a curious film on them. It seemed almost like they had been vanished through the air and reassembled somehow. Therefore, I figured I’d make something to synthesize that sort of effect.”
“You realize they already have teleportation spells, right, Flim?” Celestia chuckled. “It really isn’t necessary.”
“Well, not everypony gets the chance to learn such magic,” Flim informed the white mare. “So, I figured a device would have been just the thing. Granted, it still required some magic to activate, but…” He took a wrench off the desk and placed it on one the white panel on the upper side of the box which was a white, glowing panel. He placed his horn against one of the buttons on the side, letting his green magic flow into the device and the wrench was zapped from one box’s top to the other’s. He leaned back up. “It’s not a perfect practice. I’d need to figure out a way to store magic energy to power the device, if earth ponies and pegasi are going to use it. Also, I have made it strong enough to transport something up to the size of a pony,” he cleared the wrench off of its resting place and tapped a different button on the box and jumped into the beam from his stool. He disappeared for a few seconds, before appearing again over the other box and landing with his four hooves planted carefully around the box. “However, as you can see, there’s no way to bring the box with you, when you’re being transported, so it will really end up a one way trip, until you are shipped back by the receiver.”
Celestia watched with careful awe, her eyes wide as she watched the unicorn showing off his invention. “That was awfully dangerous, you know. Did you even sample it before?”
“Well, I figure if it can move a wrench, it can move a pony just as easily.” Flim jumped off of the desk, before sitting himself back on the stool.
“What are the buttons for?” Celestia tapped one of the buttons with her horn carefully. With nothing on top, there was nothing moved. However, it still glowed as though working. “Does it change the power?”
“No, I was thinking that they could be labeled for different requests.” Flim folded his forelegs in thought. “It’s not perfect yet.”
“And you made this in two days?” Celestia looked at Flim curiously.
“Less than that, but like you already said, sweetheart, there are already transportation spells. It’s far from perfect. All I did was super focus the spell to make a reliable transport system. With all of my free time, it’s wonderful to work on my inventions. Hopefully, I can one day make it where the buttons can connect to different boxes, rather than only two being connected, that way one box could make deliveries all around Equestria.”
“Less than two days?” Celestia thought a moment, before nodding sagely. “Yes, I suppose you have not worked constantly upon it. You have been by my side surprisingly dutifully, save for when we sleep.”
Flim blushed and curled up slightly in his seat. “Actually, that’s not what I was working on just now.” He shoved the boxes away and picked up a quill with his magic. He nibbled on the tip as he watched a sheet of parchment. “Tell me, did you make attendance to this past Canterlot Agricultural Fair?”
“Certainly I was.” Celestia smiled. “It’s one of the best times I get to leave the castle for, and I am always seen as one of the judges for it. Many respect my opinion of taste, after all.”
“Perfect!” Flim began scribbling upon the paper.
“What are you writing down, then? What does it matter that I was at the fair? I go to it every year.” Celestia sat down, watching Flim rather than his writing. He had a very serious expression.
“What’s important is that I was at the fair this last time. I was scouting out of farmers to contract with, especially prize winners. It’s amazing what you can talk somepony into doing when they’re just won something.” Flim watched his grammar as he wrote. “You see, that means that you and I had to pass by the same stalls at least once or twice, finding the winners. I wouldn’t be too surprised if we actually were standing in front of a stall at the same time and just didn’t realize it.”
“So, you’re suggesting that we ‘met’ at the fair, then?” Celestia looked down at the paper.
“Well, had to come up with an appropriate story for how we met.” Flim nodded smartly to himself. “It took a lot of calculation, you see. It’s not easy to explain how I could meet you without guard very easily. I’m not that familiar with your schedule, aside from when you eat, sleep, and do paperwork now, but not before coming to the castle. That means that I needed a considerable excuse.”
“And so that means we’d have had to have met somewhere public.” Celestia’s expression brightened. “That’s brilliant!”
“There’s more,” Flim corrected. “You see, the agriculture fair was two and a half months ago. Enough time for a whirlwind romance without seeming like I had pulled the wool over your eyes with a quick free dinner. Oh, the papers would slander you something good, if the romance was too immediate. Letting the time for some possible moonlighting and other forms of quiet romance without it surfacing makes it believable.” He held up the paper and tapped it to straighten the sheets. “So, with the story that we met at the fair over the apple stand, I would say we’ve straightened out the first meeting, should paper or pony ask. I doubt that the farmer in question would deny it, with the fame it would bring him.”
Celestia turned to look at the papers, taking the story as her own. “So this is really thought through, I see.”
“I put it on you to decide what our courtship was like, as you would know the guard better than I.” Flim allowed his story to be taken, before getting off of his stool. He walked along. “Speaking of which, how about you show me around the grounds, so I can become familiar when I’m asked my part of the story?”
“Of course,” Celestia consented as she turned and walked along as well. She read through the story and tucked it beneath her wing as she finished it. She was the one who led the way through the doors, allowing the guards to handle the doors.
The white mare made her way through the garden with the yellow unicorn stallion at her side. Hedges, bushes, trees, and flowers sprung abroad and beautifully green across the castle’s landscape.
“Really know your horticulture and topiary around here.” Flim observed the plants as he trained his eye. “A lot of high hedges, which I guess makes sense. You have really healthy flowers which I could have stolen bouquets from just to give back to you. I could see sneaking around her challenging, but not impossible.”
“I’m glad it meets your approval.” Celestia smiled. “We do our best to make the castle gardens beautiful as we do host many parties, even if I don’t attend them all. Canterlot has many gardening services who are more than ready to tend to the royal shrubbery.”
“I should assume so.” Flim spied around as he walked along. “Who wouldn’t want to serve you?”
“Flattery for a princess or a lover, Flim?” Celestia watched the unicorn stallion curiously.
“For princess, in this circumstance.” Flim marched ahead. “If that was meant to be romantic, I would have taken the effort to sound more jealous.” He turned his head back to see here with his own smile. “Now, come on, you have a statue garden here, right?” He galloped along.
“Hold on, Flim!” Celestia took off at a gallop after him. After a moment, she took a moment to enjoy the wind through her billowing mane. She noted how she had not taken the time to really enjoy running. When was the last time I even took the time to fly for pleasure? she mused to herself.
Bringing herself back from the pleasure of the rush, the alicorn princess stopped before the statue garden found within the castle grounds. She looked around. “Flim? Flim, where are you? You really shouldn’t run off, if you’re not familiar with the place. There have been ponies who get lost during parties, youknow!”
“Gotcha!” Flim jumped from behind a statue of a mare in a bold battle with large serpent.
“Woo-ho!” Princess Celestia jumped with a shudder. “Oh, Flim! Do you really think it’s clever to go jumping from behind statues?”
“Not jumping from behind them, but they would certainly make for good hiding, as I sneak through the gardens.” Flim smirked as he walked over to an empty pillar. “You see, Celestia, should I be really fearful of looking out of place beside a statue, I could always pose as a statue. In the dark, I wouldn’t seem any different, unless the guards looked really closely. And if they did look that closely, I could always knock them over the head and make a run for it, before my identity is known.”
“Flim, I don’t think that is such a good idea,” Celestia said as she walked over, recognizing the pillar that had once held the infamous Discord had been cut short when the dracoequus was freed, but that rough cutting made it all the more dangerous of a stand.
“Oh, nonsense,” Flim retorted as he stood up on his hind hooves. He posed dramatically. “What do you think? I could have my own statue here soon. Pretty handsome, huh?”
“Flim,” Celestia scolded. “You aren’t exactly a pegasus, and I can’t stand by while you hurt yourself.”
“I’m not going to hurt myself.” Flim chuckled. However, he soon teetered and lost his footing. “WOAH! OH!” He spun his airborne forelegs to keep himself steady, but he fell forward. He clutched to the pillar’s side, but his hat fell from his head and flipped upside down. He caught it with his magic, though.
“FLIM!” Princess Celestia’s eyes widened as she watched her subject in danger. She rushed up to the pillar and stood up against it, proving her full height. She could have nipped the stallion by his vest and gently removed him, but her eye was caught by something else. She looked within the upside down hat. “Flim, what is this?”
The unicorn stallion chuckled as he relaxed himself upon the pillar. He moved himself to be bowing upon three of his legs, his right foreleg outstretched. His horn upon his bowed head motioned to the three rings in the straw hat. He opened one eye and smirked. “Princess Celestia, would you do me the honor of being my bride?”
“But Flim,” Celestia gasped as she looked at the assorted rings of various sizes. She blushed as she realized the proposal.
Flim chuckled as he took the rings out and replaced his hat upon his head. “I had Flam pick them up. Didn’t really get a chance to leave the castle, you know.” He moved the largest ring down and around Celestia’s foreleg. “I know this is the traditional courtship ring,” he moved and placed the smallest ring over her horn, “but unicorns seemed to have popularized this type of ring,” he placed the third, incomplete ring over the shoulder where it met the wing, “and yet some pegasi insist on this sort of ring. I couldn’t really decide what was best for an alicorn, so I chose all three.” He jumped casually off of the pillar and hummed to himself. “So, that takes care of the story of the proposal.”
Celestia gasped again as she turned to see the stallion. “You… you planned this?”
“Of course, milady!” Flim replied casually as he headed back towards the castle. “Now, there’s much to plan for the wedding. Princess Cadence and her stud Shining Armor may have had the wedding of the century, but I say we either go small or make this the wedding of the millennium.” He chuckled. “Now, I’m not really a social pony, but I doubt that your subjects would allow it to go silently. So away to planning!”
“Yes.” Celestia smiled after admiring herrings. “Yes indeed!” She strolled politely back to the palace after the slick con-stallion.
~
Twilight Sparkle sighed as she took the time to look over the side of her own personal carriage as part of the princess tier. She frowned as she folded her forelegs over the side of the vehicle, laying her head of them. “Right down there will be fine, thank you,” she informed the two pegasus guards pulling her.
The guard on the right nodded and gestured to his companion to start heading down. They drifted slowly to the ground on the outskirts of Ponyville. They pawed at the ground as they turned to face the newest princess. “We have arrived, Princess Twilight Sparkle,” the guard of the left informed her.
“Please, you really don’t have to be so formal. I already told you to just call me Twilight,” the purple alicorn hopped out of the carriage and walked along. “But thank you. I won’t be long.” She waved to them as she walked into the town.
The meeting place was Sugar Cube Corner, a common place for friends to meet in Ponyville. Twilight pushed her way through the door, only to be greeted by being pounced and rolled back out on her back.
“Oof!” she exclaimed, her eyes shut upon impact. While pinned, she opened one eye and looked up at the pony who had her. “Hello, Pinkie,” she sighed in relieved exasperation.
“Hello, Twilight!” the pink mare beamed at her long-distance friend. “Spike told us to meet you here. You must have some really, really big news! Are you going to stay with us for the week?”
Twilight Sparkle blushed. “Well, no, not exactly.”
“A month, then!” Pinkie suggested.
“No.”
“A year!” Pinkie Pie gasped with joy. “Oh, it’ll be just like old times! You and us being friends together and-”
“Pinkie!” Twilight shouted. “I already visit you guys twice a month, and I haven’t even been a princess for half a year! Now, can I get up and talk?”
Pinkie Pie stopped, and her ears flattened, though she looked more confused than shocked. She stepped back off of the purple princess and back into her housing and sat down, waiting with a still wide smile.
Princess Twilight Sparkle shook herself off as she stood up. She rubbed her head as she walked into Sugar Cube Corner.
Applejack chuckled warmly as she watched the alicorn approach. “Sorry ’bout that, Twi. She’s just been all excited since you sent the letter.”
“We all have!” Spike giggled as he walked over to Twilight and hugged her legs. He had stayed in Ponyville to allow Twilight and her friends to communicate more easily without needing to pick up everything and go on the train every other day. Besides, it allowed him to stay with Rarity and act as her assistant. “So, what’s it like in the castle?”
“That’s the problem.” Twilight Sparkle shifted her weight awkwardly upon her legs and frowned. She looked away slightly, not looking into any of her friends’ eye. “Rather, that’s the reason I’m here today.”
“Missing your friends, right, Twilight?” Rainbow Dash laughed as she walked over and wrapped a foreleg around her royal friend. “Well, there’s no shame in admitting it. With somepony as cool as me as your friend. Even I can’t say I’d be able to stay away from all of you guys for too long.”
“Of course!” Pinkie Pie jumped up and down. “Why wouldn’t she miss us? We are her friends after all.”
Twilight blushed. “Actually, that’s not-”
“Or maybe you got some do-bad for us to face off with storming the castle!” Rainbow Dash punched at the air, smirking.
“Certainly she would have said that in the note,” Fluttershy said as she curled up slightly. “I mean, you wouldn’t wait to give us that sort of news, would you? An-and besides,” she allowed her mane to drop over her eyes to hide herself, “you certainly would have called us to the castle, if that were the case.” She smiled in hope that it wasn’t trouble.
“Well, really-” Twilight raised a hoof in explanation.
“Then maybe it’s-” Rainbow Dash was stopped by Applejack stuffing a cupcake in her mouth.
The orange mare shook her head, smiling. “How ’bout ya’ll give Twi here a minute to explain what is going on, then?”
“Yes, surely it must be something important, if she felt the need to inform us of her arriving before her arrival. You must have had us gather together for some reason, right, Twilight?” Rarity asked as she approached the princess in the room.
“Well, duh!” Pinkie announced. “She’s obviously here to PAR-” The second interrupter was silenced by a whole cake flung by Applejack while the orange mare was keeping the blue mare quiet. Pinkie Pie chewed vigorously on the cake, staying quiet.
Twilight sighed. After being interrupted so many times, she looked away, feeling rather foolish. She blushed as she moved her left forehoof back and forth in thought. “Actually, Princess Celestia is getting married,” she murmured.
“What was that, darling?” Rarity’s eyes widened, being the closest one to Twilight Sparkle presently and having an attention to detail. She swept her purple mane back and chuckled kindly. “Oh, maybe this mane of mine is getting in the way, but it sounded like you said Princess Celestia is getting married.”
“She is getting married,” Princess Twilight Sparkle confirmed. “That’s why I came here. To invite you guys.”
“Oh, do tell us more!” Rarity squealed as her eyes shone. “Why, it’s such a fantastic idea! Actually getting to go to Princess Celestia’s weddings, of all things! Why, I bet that only the best of the best will be allowed to attend.”
Pinkie Pie, swallowing the cake, smiled broadly, jumping up and down. “See! See! I told you it was another party! The biggest party of them all!”
“Darn tootin’!” Applejack chuckled. “So, what’s the deal this time, Sugar Cube? We all bein’ hired ’gain like with Shining Armor’s wedding?”
“Well, yes…” Twilight grimaced.
“Then why are you looking so uptight about it?” Applejack raised an eyebrow.
“Seriously, Twilight,” Rainbow Dash agreed. “You look like she might as well be marrying a dragon!” She stopped and turned to the smallest member of the group. “No offense, Spike.”
“None taken,” Spike stood proudly. “I know that there aren’t a lot of dragons who are genteel and polite like me.”
“Besides, I’m sure Princess Celestia would marry a nice stallion.” Fluttershy commented with a small smile. “She wouldn’t want someone who would hurt Equestria.”
“It’s not exactly Equestria I’m worried about,” Twilight confessed, looking away slightly so as not to make eye contact.
“Then who is the feller?” Applejack demanded coolly with a smile. “Do we know the bucking bronco or is he some stuffed shirt none of us common would have ever heard of.” She snorted playfully. “I’m sure Rarity would know him anyhow.”
“Oh yes, do tell.” Rarity beamed at the chance for gossip.
“Well, if you really want to know…” Twilight Sparkle bit her lip and seemed to choke on it. “It’s… it’s Flim of the Flim-Flam Brothers.”
A collective gasp was heard from the group of friends.
“Why, that no-good polecat is only after her money!” Applejack announced. “Didn’t ya’ll warn her about him, Twi?”
“Yes, I did, Applejack,” Princess Twilight Sparkle groaned. “But she seems awfully convinced of it, and he doesn’t seem to be trying to pull any kind of scandal. He just kind of sits there beside her all day like some kind of pet.”
“Oh, you mean like the way Spike does with Rarity?” Rainbow Dash laughed as she drifted in midair. “Then I’m sure we have nothing to worry about!”
“Hey!” Spike shouted, blushing heavily. He twiddled his fingers as he looked up at a Rarity with a lighter blush on her face.
“Rainbow Dash does have a point,” Fluttershy spoke up. She winced and quailed as she got a glare from Rarity and Spike. “Wh-what I mean is maybe he’s not such a bad guy. Discord turned for the better, after all. And you even called Iron Will a monster, Rarity, but he wasn’t such a bad guy.”
“Well, I will agree that Iron Will was a surprising gentlecolt, but this is a slightly different circumstance,” Rarity insisted.
“I’ll say! Why, I’m just ’bout ready to march up to the castle and speak my mind on the whole matter.” Applejack pushed her hat roughly forward and huffed.
“Please, let’s not get radical here.” Twilight Sparkle sighed as she pulled several lists out of her pockets. “Really, I suppose we should give him a chance, like Fluttershy pointed out about Discord, even if none of us do trust him.” She shrugged her shoulders. “Besides, if you think about, if he does pull anything that Princess Celestia doesn’t like, she could always banish him and proclaim him for the fraud he is.”
“Well, I guess that is true.” Applejack rubbed her head. “If she banished her sister to the moon, I s’ppose there’s not many ponies she’d be too worried about banishing, when it comes right down to it.” She nodded. “So, I reckon we better see what’s on these lists of yours, then.”
“Right,” Twilight read through. “Well, of course, Rarity has been hired to do the dress.”
“Me? Create a dress for Princess CELSTIA!” Rarity’s eyes grew wide as she stood on her back hooves. “Make her one-of-a-kind, once-in-a-lifetime wedding dress?” She performed a scripted faint while Spike provided a pillow for her.
“The Cakes will provide the wedding cake,” Twilight announced.
“Oh wow! I have to tell them right NOW!” Pinkie Pie disappeared in a smoke silhouette, though the kitchen was only across the room from the door.
“However, Sweet Apple Acres will be providing most of the general refreshment.” Princess Twilight Sparkle pulled her list out long. “Here is the list of requested dishes for the table.”
“Let me take a look at that there list, then,” Applejack replied as she took the paper from Twilight Sparkle and looked over it. “Well… well golly gee! I mean, the eggs I could always get from Fluttershy, but I’d be buying stuff from half of Ponyville to fill out this order. Most of this stuff doesn’t even have apples in it!”
“Ooh! Ooh! What do I get to do?” Rainbow Dash pumped her forelegs in the air. “Certainly Princess Celestia didn’t forget about me.” She raised her eyebrows suggestively. “Let me guess. Another classic Sonic Rainboom, am I right? Huh? Huh?”
“I actually don’t really have anything down for you, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight replied, trying not to look at the mare.
“What?” Rainbow Dash looked crestfallen as she dropped to the floor. “But Princess Celestia couldn’t forget about me.”
“It’s okay, Rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy patted the blue mare on the back. “I wasn’t asked to do anything special, and I don’t mind. Besides, maybe she wanted a quiet wedding.” She smiled in an attempt to comfort her friend. “You know? She’s always been more of a regal mare than Princess Cadence’s playfulness.”
“I guess that’s true.” Rainbow Dash huffed, crossing her forelegs. “It doesn’t seem fair, if you ask me, though.”
“Fair? Fair!” Applejack turned on the purple princess. “Now, hold your horses! Twilight, why is it that these chores only have to do with payment? And why in the hey would the recipes being called for require so many dang ingredients from all across Ponyville, if they were requested specifically from Sweet Apple Acres.”
Twilight Sparkle ground her teeth. She gave a crooked, awkward smile. “Well, maybe Princess Celestia wasn’t the one who made these lists. Flim said Celestia needed to focus on her work, so he wrote up the plans for the wedding. He said something like, ‘If those Apples are too blind to modernize their farm, then we’ll just fund Ponyville until they don’t have a choice but to modernize.’”
“Oh, I knew it,” Applejack shouted. “Well, if that weasel thinks he’s going to overwork us, I’ll show him! No way is he going to bog us down so heavily that he can’t get this order filled!” She placed the list in her mouth and dashed out the door to her farm.
“Well, that explains that,” Rainbow Dash muttered.
“But what Applejack didn’t wait around to hear was that Flim also said ‘just invite all of your little friends,’ even if he did say it rather dismissively.” Twilight smiled more honestly this time. “Apparently he recognizes us as being on good terms because he invited us to be Celestia’s bride’s-mares, seeing how as he declared Luna should be her Mare of Honor.”
“So there’s still a chance I can do something for the wedding?!” Rainbow Dash cheered. “I knew Princess Celestia wouldn’t forget about me!”
“Well, duh!” Pinkie Pie replied, having reappeared beside Twilight Sparkle. “I mean, it is her party. Of course she’d invite us!”
“Speaking of parties,” Spike said as he was fanning Rarity with his claws, “will I be planning Flim’s bachelor party, too?” He stopped and thought. “Oh, wait, he has a brother to do that, doesn’t he?”
“That’s been something of a debate, last I heard,” Twilight Sparkle mused a moment.
~
“No, no, a thousand times NO!” Flim’s hooves clattered against the marble floors of the castle as he glared at the two stallions in front of him. “Listen here, brother of mine! Yes, I am allowing you to be my best stallion, but I am not letting either of you plan my bachelor party!”
“But certainly you jest,” Prince Blueblood suggested. “Is it not customary to have a bachelor party before the wedding? It would make it very bad form, if you didn’t have one.”
“He’s right, you know,” Flam retorted as well. “It was one thing that nopony was invited to Shining Armor’s bachelor party, when it was found out a baby dragon was the one planning it, but you need to think about your own prestige here.”
“My prestige?” Flim laughed. “Oh, pardon me, my fine pair of quick wits, but what I want to focus on is the wedding. I don’t have prestige as anything more than a business-stallion. You, brother, are the one with a reputation, and it’s none of my business what you do for it.”
“But Flim,” Flam bemoaned. “You’re already a bit of a social outcast, and you need to realize that you need to be part of the social elite.”
“Yes, very much so!” Prince Blueblood declared. “Think about what the nobility will think of you. At least consult Fancy Pants about it.”
Flim rolled his eyes. “Let me make this a point.” He stood up and nodded his head forward simply. “To enunciate my reluctance upon your suggestion for brotherly socialization in stallion camaraderie, I don’t have those kinds of friends.” He puffed. “I don’t want to be stuck in a room with twenty or some odd stallions I don’t know who are swilling upon our restaurant’s cider so much that they are not ever aware of the classic and sharp flavor of the beverage being served to them by attractive mares. Thank you, but no.”
“Oh, the vulgarity of drinking until one is waterlogged,” Prince Blueblood scoffed, though he turned his head away to hide a blush.
“Indeed, brother, do you really think I would just give away that much cider?” Flam smiled opportunistically.
“No. I would expect you to try to sell that much cider, sapping the pockets dry of your ‘friends’,” Flim scolded his brother. He turned to Blueblood. He sighed. “But, I suppose that if you insist I have some kind of party.” He used his magic to pull a little black book out of his pocket and flicked through the pages. “I’ll have Royal Ribbon plan it, then.”
“Royal Ribbon?” Prince Blueblood looked curiously at Flam. “I don’t know him, and I thought I knew everyone in the elite.”
“That’s because Ribbon’s a her,” Flam replied, whispering. “You see, my brother could never make a friend with a stallion in all of his life aside from me, but he gets along swimmingly with the mares. Used to be called the one-date wonder,” he winced, “before he met your aunt, of course. Made a lot of friends that way. Royal Ribbon originally agreed to sample some perfumes for him in hopes of being a model. Great success, though a short contract as he decided to sell the device, not wanting to deal with getting the flowers to grind outside of season.”
“I see,” Blueblood observed. He paused, before standing up. “Wait. A mare can’t plan a bachelor party! It’s supposed to be a stallions-only event.”
“That’s right!” Flam exclaimed in realization. “Why, you’d… you’d ultimately be suggesting sharing Princess Celestia’s bridal shower.”
“Well, I don’t really know about sharing the bridal shower,” Flim mused.
“And he told us it was bad form to have attractive mares at the bachelor party.” Prince Blueblood blushed, realizing he had been caught.
“Hey, these mares actually know me,” Flim tapped his jaw a moment with a pen he had pulled from his vest pocket. “And I don’t need to pay them after words. Leave the bachelor party to the bachelors, I say! If I feel the need to gossip about my wedding, I’ll gossip with the ones who will care.” He stood up and walked away from the two other stallions. “I better see if I can look up Royal Ribbon’s address. She’d know who lives close enough to invite.”
The two stallions stood blinking after the retreating yellow unicorn. After he left, the white unicorn leaned over to the mustachioed twin. “Now, you were only going to invite elite members of society, right?”
“Are you kidding?” Flam replied. “Who else was I going to invite to the king’s bachelor party! Business would go sailing through the roof after that.”