> A Clockwork Pony
>  by Alcafuffle
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> Chapter 1
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	What is life without mayhem? What would our world be if there was nothing to keep us alert? That, my good listeners is where my cohorts and I come in. 


***



Our lovely story begins here, the shipping docks of San Franciscolt. At the end of these docks were three colts, an earth pony, a pegasus, and a unicorn. Each wearing what some would consider peculiar choices of attire, the earth pony wore a  teal dress shirt and a black billycock, the pegasus wore a similar shirt but had a beret, and the unicorn had a faded yellow golf shirt and a gibus. Now these three colts, were quite special. Why? Because they were us. We stood at the farthest end of the dock, which presented a fascinating view of the coast; the long stone breakwater taking up much of the horizon, waves smashing themselves into the countless barges awaiting their cargo. 
Here, we come to think and converse, something a younger filly would call "hanging out". On this particular evening, we came to make up our minds on how to spend the evening. The docks smelt of sea water and fish, which to us was a scent that reinvigorated the mind, as if it sharpened you up, to do dastardly things, things we like to call: ultra-violence, which we were leaning towards doing.
On one of the countless boats docked, there was an old drunk colt, dancing around and wailing out some old sea song, now this disturbed our thinking, and that isn't very polite. So I, that would be Beats, got up and trotted on over to the source of this wailing. My two companions: Spry and Auguri, quickly followed.
I got to the edge of the dock and shouted up to him: "Oi! What kind of song is that? Never heard one quite like it,"Now this old stallion seemed quite drunk, as he kept wailing out and prancing about like a loon, so I called out again: "OI! I'M TALKING TO YOU, YA DRUNKEN BAFOON!" this got his attention.
"Eh! Wuzzat, are ya trying tah sell me something?" gargled the stallion, peering down over the side of the ship, struggling to maintain balance "Cuz, I... am not interested in any of yur stuff," 
"Oh no no! I'm no salespony, I'd just like to know, what song it is your singing," I said in most innocently.
"Oh, the song!" exclaimed the stallion. "I dun quite remembah what it was called,"
"Ah, what a shame," I replied "Is there any chance I could climb on up there, and have you teach me what parts you know?"
The stallion stood there for a moment, with a blank expression on his face, whether he was thinking or spazzing, I was unable to tell. Eventually he yelled back down: "Alright, come on up here,"
So I had Spry fly me onto the deck of the ship, and Auguri followed by teleporting himself on board. The old drunk, sitting on a chest in the center of the deck continued to sing his song, so we trotted on up to him.
"Actually, never mind about the song," I said "I think I've memorized the parts you've been yelling out," This puzzled the old stallion.
"Is that so? Den why cause yurself the trouble climb onboard?" he asked, now appearing more intimidated than puzzled.
I didn't actually have an answer to this, but thankfully Auguri, who has caught on to where I was going, spoke up: "Well, we simply wanted to have a good look-round of your nice ship here," he said calmly.
The stallion hesitated, then simply stated "Sure, go ahead"
After hearing so, we trotted into the interior of the ship, it had a bright red rug covering the floor, a twin-sized bed was set up in the corner of the room, and many cabinets lined the walls. I cantered on up to one of these cabinets and peered inside. 
"What is this? I don't think you'd want any of this seen by the government," I yelled out "Here! I'll help you out with this!"
"What are ya goin' on about?" the stallion wobbled into the room.
As soon as he came into view, I rammed the cabinet, breaking it in two. With this Spry and Auguri went all-out. Spry started tossing as much as he could off board, whilst Auguri, used some spell to set fire to other cabinets.
"EH! WHAT ARE YA DOIN!" yelled out the old stallion "GET OUT!" he started rushing at us. He must've overestimated his own power, for he simply slammed into me and fell down. When he got back up again he tried again. This time however, I slammed into him, knocking him to the ground. . I proceeded to prance on over to him, took my hoof and slammed it into him, I repeated this until Spry and Auguri took notice and wanted in. We kicked, bucked and slammed him until he was out cold, a small bit of blood was flowing out of his nose and mouth, all very nicely.
I stopped Spry and Auguri before this became fatal. We had a code, do not kill, we can maim, brutalize, and terrorize, but never kill. If we were to kill others, then they wouldn't be able to recover so we can go about this again, and that's just no fun. We may have been delinquents, but by Celestia, we were not murderers. 
We quickly looted the cabin and the stallion, hoping to find some bits to reward ourselves for a successful mug. After finding around 20 bits, we bailed. We jumped down to the dock and ran on up back to the city. This seemed to be a great start to the evening.