> The Mare of Her Dreams
>  by Reverse Clopper
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> She Shook Me All Night Long
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	"Oh, Rainbow Dash..." Twilight murmured, "That feels so... oh... harder..."

The prismatic pegasus complied, applying more pressure to Twilight's wings. She was perched atop Twilight's back, and as she pushed her lover into previously unexplored fields of pleasure, she gently rocked back and forth, rubbing against Twilight to provide herself a little stimulation. "I told ya it was awesome, didn't I?"

"Yeah... yes... yes, yes, YES! MMMph" Twilight's neck arched as she bit her lip. "But I still don't belie— NNNgh... Believe it..."

"That's not even the best part..." Rainbow remarked as she brought her hooves down closer to the base of Twilight's wings.

"Oh sweet Celestia!" Twilight moaned, as Rainbow continued to work her magic. After a second, Twilight tensed up a little and turned back to Rainbow, some anxiety in her eyes. "Rainbow, I—"

One of Rainbow's hooves pulled away from its critical work and silenced the alicorn. "I know how you meant it, Twi," she paused to giggle, "don't make this weird."

Twilight relaxed again and let herself melt into Rainbow's hooves. She was so lucky to have such an understanding marefriend. Rainbow wasn't jealous or petty, because she knew they were the only ones for each other. Not even Celestia could take Twilight away from her, because they made the perfect pair. Plainly and simply, they were in love; as much as two ponies ever could be.

Rainbow Dash's left hoof continued to hover in the air, while her right hoof migrated into the space between the shoulders of Twilight's wings— the most sensitive part of that region. Twilight's eyes abruptly shot open, and she gasped, before she was completely overtaken by the blissful sensation and collapsed into a mere puddle of a pony. Her horn glistened for a moment with an involuntary surge of magical energy.

"You know, you've got to have the most beautiful secondaries I've ever seen..." Rainbow remarked, running her free hoof along the feathers she was referring to. The touch would have normally been innocuous, but with Rainbow's hoof massaging her T7 vertebral mana nodule, the sensation was enhanced a thousand-fold, and she could feel each barbule unlocking and locking with Rainbow's touch, and even the magical induction in her rachides from manifold-field-interactions.

...It felt good, I mean.

No sooner than Twilight had become accustomed to that unprecedented feeling of rapture, Rainbow's free hoof took up residence between Twilight's flanks, and began gently caressing the delicate folds found there, while still maintaining a presence between her wings. It was so incredibly right— they were so in tune. The way Rainbow touched her in this moment was precisely the same way she might touch herself, after over a decade of practicing self-service.

"OH... Rainbow... I—" Twilight's eyes rolled back into her head from the pleasure.

"Yeah, Twi?" Rainbow asked with a smirk, not straying for a moment from her precious task.

"I l-l-l-love you... FUCK!"

"I 'love you fuck' too, egghead." The pegasus replied, smiling deviously, as she pressed harder into Twilight's sopping wet marehood.

"I-I'm so c-c-close, Rainbow!"

"What was that? Slower?"

"NNnnnnn-n-n-no. Faster!"

"Faster, huh? You sure about that?"

"Yes! Yes! Please!"

"You asked for it!" The pegasus remarked as she pushed her hooves into overdrive, grinding relentlessly against Twilight's erogenous zones. She even twisted her body around to caress Twilight's horn with a feather, passing magical energy from her body and into Twilight's. Altogether, it was too much, and Twilight orgasmed almost immediately. She was overcome with the feeling of falling. Falling forever. Her stomach turned upside down...

She hit the floor. 

Twilight's wings were wrapped up in twisted bedsheets, her right forehoof was wet and matted with her feminine fluids... And her horn was stuck in a goose-down pillow. That was the third Rainbow Dash dream this week. And it was only Tuesday.

"I'm probably just pent up... That's all..." Twilight rationalized, trying her best not to admit the truth to herself. "I'll just... I'll visit the royal harem, and I'll just make this problem go away."

"The Rainbow Dash dream again?" Spike asked as he stretched in his cot.

"OH! S-spike!" Twilight squeaked. "I didn't know you were awake."

"It's pretty hard not to wake up while the mare next to you keeps saying 'Rainbow Dash' over and over again." He rolled over, tucked himself back in, and said over his shoulder, "You really ought to see a therapist about that."

"Therapist? What are you talking about? I do not have a crush on Rainbow Dash!"

"I didn't say anything about a crush."

Twilight bit her lip, this time out of embarrassment instead of ambrosial pleasure.

"You know, it's pretty obvious that Rainbow also— Uh..." Spike trailed off as he noticed something out of the corner of his eye. While glaring intensely at him from inside a mirror across the room, Pinkie mouthed 'forever' and then vanished as inexplicably as she had appeared.

"She also what, Spike?"

He sighed. "Nothing."

"I need to wash up... Watch the library for me, Spike."

"It's three AM!"

"Oh... Well... Go back to sleep then."

Twilight moved to the bathroom, shut the door quietly and gently, and started up a bath. Ice cold, of course, to rid herself of her unwelcome arousal. She dipped a hoof into the tub and gasped in response to the frigid water, but she knew it had to be done. As quickly as she could without splashing water on the unsealed wood walls of her home, she settled herself in. Her genitals protested even more strongly than her hoof had, and before she had gotten over that, her poor wings were dunked in the unpleasantly cold water as well.

Finally, her horn. She had been partially desensitized to the cold by that point, but as the most unpleasant ordeal of them all, this would seal the deal. A brief moment under the water to cool her down, to clear her mind... After completing her submersion, she paused for a few seconds, letting out bubbles of air every once in a while... She allowed a few minutes to pass until all the air in her lungs was gone. Her body screamed and ached for relief, but as an alicorn, she could not die for lack of oxygen— even an unprotected flight through space would be perfectly plausible, though quite painful. Sometimes she would play this game with herself— see how long she could go without breathing before she had to surrender to the useless reflexes she had retained from mortality. Among them; the need to breath... to eat... to drink... to sleep... to mate...

Finally, she let herself to the surface and filled her lungs again; with the cool crisp air came relief, both psychological and sexual. Her mind was clear again. Or, clear enough. At the very least, her body was no longer screaming for a sexual release that she couldn't attain on her own.

She fiddled about with the water, toying with the surface tension, sweeping bubbles around... She wasn't denying herself who she wanted for any old reason. In fact, just prior to becoming a princess, she was planning on telling Rainbow exactly how she felt. No more excuses.

Or, rather, she was going to tell Rainbow a close approximation of how she felt, and work things out from there.

Or, actually, she was probably just going to subtly hint at her interest and hope that Rainbow caught on.

Oh, who was she kidding? She never would have gotten around to asking Rainbow Dash out. As a friend, Rainbow was easy to talk to. They loved spending time together, they felt the same way about a surprisingly large number of things, and Rainbow was really getting into literature lately. Every couple of weeks, they would get together in the library and write a few pages for a novel they were co-authoring.

Conversely, ever since her coronation, Twilight was starting to get a taste for speed. While pegasus flight wasn't quite as efficient as teleportation, there was still a certain exhilaration in flight that unicorn magic couldn't match. Plus, it was less mentally exhausting and more relaxing than teleporting. Not to mention the wonderful high she got from flying next to Rainbow Dash.

But no matter how easy it was to approach Rainbow as a friend, any time she would try to proposition the pegasus for a more involved relationship, she got cold feet. She'd get a lump in her throat, language would come less easily to her, and she'd typically just end up staring and stuttering for a little too long. She had managed to hint at a sexual interest once— long ago. But as her feelings grew deeper and more complicated than simple lust, it became harder and harder for her to express them. After the first few failed attempts, she just gave up. Surely, not asking would have better results than pathetic nonsensical babbling ever could.

Her friends were next to useless on the issue. Any time she tried to even hint at the concept, they would tiptoe around it and glance nervously at mirrors. Pinkie just didn't even seem to understand the fundamental idea when Twilight spelled it out in no uncertain terms, and mentioning it to Rarity got her nothing more than a blush, a giggle, and an excuse. Twilight never could understand why Rarity became so awkward when that topic came up. It's not like she had a problem talking about any other sexual matter; she bragged about her conquests daily and spoke of the relations of others with impunity, but somehow, Rainbow Dash was an off-limits topic for her.

That was all old news, though. There was a new matter to contend with. Twilight was an alicorn. Her lifespan was increased by thousands of years. She couldn't let herself love a mortal mare; she saw the way Celestia looked at happy couples. Even though the Sun-goddess was quite skilled at hiding her emotions, Twilight knew her too well to miss the unfathomable sadness hidden just one layer below her cheerful expression. 

She had loved and lost, so long ago, and after a thousand years, the pain still hadn't subsided. Twilight couldn't put herself through that; it would be hard enough to see Rainbow pass on as a friend. If she could hide her feelings for about a century longer, her life would be so much better in the long run. Rainbow would find someone else in the meantime. She could be happy with a Wonderbolt or something. And Twilight would be lonely. Twilight had always been lonely. No big deal.

She brought her hoof to her chest, inhaled deeply, and pushed it away from herself, pantomiming physically removing the stress from herself. But it wasn't something that needed to be removed; It was something missing. A piece of her heart, gone. She had a hole that needed to be filled — no pun intended.

"It'll be okay, Twilight. You can have any stallion you want. Any mare. You just can't love them. It'll be okay."

But I don't want any stallion. I don't want any mare. I just want Rainbow. I want to love her. For— For forever.

Twilight climbed out of the tub and looked at herself in the mirror. "What's wrong with you Twilight?! You can't have that!"

Yes you can. You can keep her alive. The age spells, you'd have decades to practice them... To perfect them. You can be together forever.

"I can't! It's wrong!"

IT'S MORE RIGHT THAN ANYTHING.

"I don't have the right to make that decision!"

Do you really think Rainbow would be opposed to life eternal? Why not give her a horn while you're at it? Just think of how great that would be! The alicorn lovers, together forever and always... Maybe even until the end of time...

"There must be a reason it's never been done. Do you really think Celestia couldn't have done that? Or Luna? They didn't. They can't!"

You're better at magic than they are! You deserve this!

"It isn't her destiny!"

STOP MAKING EXCUSES, YOU FOAL. YOU'RE BEING GREEDY! YOU'D HAPPILY MAKE ANY OF YOUR OTHER FRIENDS IMMORTAL, BUT NOT RAINBOW, BECAUSE YOU'RE AFRAID OF HAVING AN ETERNITY TO TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL AND NEVER GETING AROUND TO IT. YOU'RE PATHETIC. PATHETIC!

The mirror shattered into thousands of tiny pieces as Twilight disdainfully stared down the place where her reflection had been. Her horn smoldered for some time with the residual energy of the spell she had just used to destroy her mirror, but her face slowly slackened, transitioning from an intense anger to a fleeting hopefulness.

"I'm not pathetic. I'm not! I'm going to fly right over to Rainbow's house right now and tell her exactly how I feel." She stood up proud and tall, before announcing, with a distinct twinkle in her eye, "I can just go fuck myself!"

"Twiliiiight, I need to use the bathroom..."

Twilight's triumphant demeanor deflated in an instant, and she turned to see the clock. 3:40AM. "Shouldn't you be asleep, Spike?"

"I can't fall asleep because you won't stop talking to yourself..."

"Oh..." Twilight blushed. "Sorry. I guess Rainbow wouldn't want to be woken up this early in the morning anyway."

"Neither would I. Now, please, I really have to use the toilet." Spike insisted, shifting his legs quickly in a manner that could be understood by a member of any species who spoke any language— He had to pee.

As soon as Twilight cleared the door, it slammed shut. She heated herself with magic, drying herself quickly, and proceeded to climb back into bed. In a couple of minutes, her eyes fell closed and she drifted off to sleep.







Twilight flew quickly to Rainbow's house the following morning. The sun shone brightly, there wasn't a cloud in the sky, and the grass even seemed greener than usual! Though it did always look particularly green from the air, she had noticed. Also, regardless of where she was, grass always seemed to get greener and greener, the closer she was to Rainbow Dash.

"Oh, hia, egghead!" Rainbow Dash shouted cheerfully as Twilight approached. She was up early this morning. That was good.

"Hi Rainbow Dash!" Twilight mumbled in her sleep.

"Oh for Pete's sake!" Spike growled, "If you need me, I'll be sleeping downstairs. See a therapist. In fact, I'm adding that to your schedule. You can't convince me otherwise." He picked up his cot and began dragging it down the stairs while mumbling obscenities under his breath.

Twilight rolled over in her bed as she watched her assistant march off to a more peaceful place of slumber. Even if she did really love Rainbow Dash, this was pretty pathetic. She must not have been asleep for five minutes before she was fantasizing about the pegasus again.

Okay, this time she was going to fall asleep and not dream about Rainbow Dash. For real. She meant it this time.
> She's Pretty Tied Up (Hanging Upside Down)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	The mysterious pegasus approached Twilight, who was laying on her back, legs tied to the bedposts. Bits of rainbow hair peeked out from underneath a uniform of black leather that otherwise concealed her identity. The pegasus smiled mischieviously, her eyes scanning across her victim slowly, as she planned out all the disgusting and unspeakable acts of torture that she was about to perform. "You've been naughty, haven't you, slave?"

"Y-yes ma'am..."

"So you deserve punishment, don't you?"

"No ma'am, please don't!"

"Choo late" Rainbow Dash mumbled through the thick leather handle of a riding crop, before lightly slapping it against Twilight's flank.

"Oh, ouch! I've been so naughty, mistress!"

Rainbow slapped Twilight a little bit harder.

"Teach me a lesson!"

Rainbow brought the force right up to the limit— She knew exactly how much Twilight wanted and exactly how much was too much. Another swift smack to the bottom sent shivers down Twilight's spine.

"Oooh! Oh, Mistress, I'm so sorry, I'll never do it again!"

Rainbow spit the riding crop out of her mouth. "Oh, don't worry, I'll make sure of that..."

"What're you gonna do to me?"

"When I'm done with you, you won't walk right for a week." Rainbow threatened, before diving muzzle-first into Twilight's muffin. She pressed her face into Twilight, greedily lapping up the fluids that the excited alicorn was producing. To taste a goddess is to taste pure happiness and joy in liquid form, but Rainbow would have acted the same way if Twilight's snatch had tasted of rotten fish. Making Twilight feel good was the most important thing in the world to her at that moment, even if the character she was playing was contented in making her life miserable.

"Mistress! Oh, Mistress!" Twilight let out a series of small gasps as Rainbow Dash skillfully applied her tongue, licking all over, swirling it around under her clitoral hood... She blew a raspberry just above Twilight's vulva, simultaneously tickling and pleasuring the violet mare. As she continued to play around in the area with her mouth, a hoof wandered up and teased Twilight's vagina, pulling and stretching at it. She pushed against Twilight's marehood with some force, though not nearly enough for the relatively large limb to penetrate her.

With a toothy grin, Rainbow asked, "are you gonna beg me for mercy?"

"Oh please, mistress, let me go!"

"Not till you've learned your lesson!" Rainbow insisted as she pushed a little harder with her hoof, eliciting a pleasured grunt from her captive.

"I'm so sorry!" Twilight apologized, putting on her best 'scared face'.

"Oh, you will be!"

Rainbow's hoof was poised on the edge of penetration, but it was too large for Twilight to handle, and they both knew that. After another fruitless shove that made Twilight squeal, Rainbow moved her hoof down a little lower and pressed against Twilight's anus.

"Mistress, no!"

"Oh, I wouldn't actually do that..." Rainbow replied, pulling her hoof back to inspect it daintily, as Rarity might do. "Wouldn't want to get my hoof dirty. But that wouldn't stop you from enjoying it, you... you... uh... slut."

She made it apparent at that point that her other hoof was holding a butt-plug that was drizzled with lubricant. She pressed it against twilight's tight little asshole, gradually increasing the force behind it to overcome the initial resistance.

"Guh... Ah! Unfff... M-m-m-mistress..."

The tip of the plug was only just barely penetrating Twilight, stretching her sphincter around itself.

"I think you might be enjoying this too much." Rainbow remarked with a sharp thrust of the plug. Twilight moaned as it went in a half a hoof deep, but her taut rectum squeezed it back out to the same position it was in originally. Although Twilight was comfortable with anal play, the toy was bigger than anything she'd normally put in her ass. That said, the increase in size was her idea— something to fit with the bondage theme. Well, technically, since this was a dream, everything was her idea, but she wouldn't be able to appreciate that fact until morning came.

"I wouldn't want you getting the wrong message..." Rainbow continued as she pushed it a little harder.

"Oooh..." Twilight gasped, "No, mistress, it's too big!"

"No such thing as too big..." Rainbow insisted, giving the plug another push and a twist. Twilight's eyes squeezed shut from the intense pleasure, spiked with a twinge of pain. "...Just under-prepared!"

The plug was now a whole hoof deep inside Twilight, but still not lodged in place. Rainbow bent down and licked Twilight's pussy again, just slightly oscillating the buttplug inside her as she did so, and Twilight's back arched and she pulled at her restraints. With each stroke of Rainbow's tongue, the alicorn moaned softly, and with each inward thrust of the buttplug, her hips rocked and her body shivered.

"Please mistress! I can't take anymore!"

"You'll take every—" Rainbow pulled it back a bit before jamming it in a little further. 

"Eep!"

"Last—" Rainbow repeated the same motion.

"Augh!"

The pegasus pulled the plug almost all the way out.

"Inch!" she shouted as she pushed it all the way in. Immediately afterwards, Twilight's anus reflexively squeezed down around the narrow part of the plug just before the wide base, locking it into position. 

Twilight shuddered in delight, squeezing her rectum down around the toy, enjoying the feeling of being stuffed fuller than she ever had been. Rainbow came around to her side and kissed her deeply while reaching out a hoof to stroke Twilight's clitoris. The taste of her own godly secretions carried in Rainbow's saliva, but because of all the stimulation she was receiving, it was all Twilight could do not to bite down on the tongue that was exploring her mouth.

"You like that, slut?" 

"Mmhmm..." Twilight mumbled.

"Then I guess I'm not doing my job well enough, am I?" Rainbow asked as she moved back around to Twilight's posterior. She wrapped her mouth around the base of the plug and gave it a sharp pull, almost dislodging it.

"Oof..." Twilight uttered as her eyes clenched again.

Rainbow nibbled on one of Twilight's labia gently, pulling at it with her teeth.

"Ow, ow, ow..."

Satisfied that she had induced enough pain to meet Twilight's slightly masochistic needs, Rainbow reached her hooves across Twilight's upside-down, restrained, form. As Rainbow stared fervently into Twilight's eyes, breathing hard, Twilight could feel the end of a strap-on rhythmically touching against her marehood, threatening to breach at any moment.

"Please, mistress, no!"

"I have no choice, you drove me to this!" Rainbow replied as she penetrated Twilight quickly and forcefully. She made sure to lean in such a way that she was pressing the back wall of Twilight's vagina back towards her rectum, squeezing the wall of flesh between them and effectively stimulating a number of sensitive nerve endings.

Twilight threw her head back in ecstasy, her body failing to put on the show that she tried to continue with her mouth. "No —MMMPH— mistress, stop, it hurts!"

"You should have thought of that before— before uh... uh..." Rainbow Dash broke out laughing, while continuing to thrust her artificial member in and out of Twilight. "Sorry, Twi, I can't think of anything."

"Ah-ah-ah-ah... I... Don't... Care... Keep.... Going... AHHH..."

"Before you uh... stole my... cloud?"

Twilight started laughing too. "Why... Ahhhhhhhhh... fffffffpt.... would I want a— Gah! ... A cloud?"

"I don't know, I told you I couldn't think of anything! This is complicated!" She insisted, glancing down at the gear strapped to her thighs.

"Any stallion can— MMmph— Any stallion can do it."

"Yeah, well a stallion can feel it. I just gotta guess!"

"No need to say any more," Twilight noted as a glowing violet aura appeared around her horn, "Just slow down a little so I can— erk... Concentrate."

Rainbow Dash slowed down, not to do as Twilight was telling her, but because she was concerned about what the alicorn was getting at. "Twi, what're you—"

Rainbow stopped suddenly, and her eyes shot open. She could suddenly feel something that wasn't there before, and two nearly comical popping noises coincided with two more unfamiliar body parts dropping into place. "Twiiiiiii..."

"That lasts for a good thirty minutes. Make it count, master."

With a newfound confidence and lust burning in her eyes, Rainbow Dash started thrusting again, and her— or, his, eyes, bugged out of his head. Suffice it to say that the new sensations were not making it any easier to concentrate on what she was doing. "Twilight... I think I'm gonna..."

"Already? You haven't even— WAHH-" Twilight took two sharp breaths and fought to keep her eyes open through the pleasurable stimulation. "You haven't started the roleplay back up again!"

"Right— ERK... You've been— ergh— stealing my clouds..."

"Rainbow..."

"I'm sorry... I ca— I just can't— Ah.. AHHH.... OH... Gosh... Oh my gosh..." She stopped thrusting and began panting heavily. Her tongue lolled out of her head, and her eyes betrayed a completely empty mind.

"You just came, didn't you?"

"I... I think I did..."

Twilight sighed. "Disappointing, wasn't it?"

"Well, that was just the first one. I can do it again."

Twilight shot her a look of incredulity.

"Wait, stallions can seriously only do it one time? I thought that was like... an urban legend."

With a flash of her horn that lasted only milliseconds, Twilight was free of her restraints and had pounced on the thoroughly endowed Rainbow Dash. Even in Twilight's dreams, Dash was a domineering creature who would never surrender the top position willingly— it had to be taken through force and cunning. But if Twi could manage to catch her off-guard, and she could win being on top, it was hers for the taking.

"Stallions can only really enjoy it once... But they can do it a bunch of times in a row, really." Twilight commented with a mildly sadistic smile, as she began riding Rainbow Dash like a bull. The plug in her ass was causing her a little discomfort, now that she was actively moving around, but it wasn't more than she could handle... Or more than she wanted, for that matter. She could've removed it with magic fairly effortlessly and painlessly if she so desired, but that wouldn't have been nearly as much fun. After all, the whole point of this game was to get a little roughed up...

"TWI?! AHHhhHhHhHHhhHHH! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"

Twilight used her magic to slip the first bead of a set into Rainbow's anus as she continued bobbing up and down on Rainbow's conjured member.

"Who's the mistress now?"

"Twilight!" Rainbow screamed.

"Damn straight, it's Twilight!" She replied, cramming another bead inside the mare-turned-stallion. 

"Twilight?"

"Say my name... Bitch..."

"Twilight!" Spike shouted, trying to wake the unicorn. "Twilight, get up!"

"Unnh... Spike?"

"Yeah. Spike. Not 'Bitch'. It's 11 o'Clock!"

Twilight sighed. "And?"

"So, you were planning on seeing Rainbow Dash this morning! Even she doesn't sleep in this late. She's probably on her second nap of the day by now!"

"Huh... Right."

"Also, you need to open the libr—"

With a pop and a bang, Twilight was gone. Teleportation.

Spike shook his head in disapproval. "That pony, I swear..."
> Same Old Song and Dance
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	"Rainbow Dash!"

"Oh, Hey Twi!" Rainbow replied, stretching. Hovering just above the cloud upon which she had just completed her nap, she looked around, slightly uncertain. "How'd you find me?"

"Oh... Just a lucky guess..." Twilight answered nervously. To be completely honest, she wasn't sure how she had located Rainbow. The interplay between love and magic is quite complex, and Twilight's focus of study had been friendship, a related, but not identical, phenomenon.

"That's cool... So... What's up?"

"Oh, I just wanted to tell you... I uh... How are you today?"

Dash raised an eyebrow. "You wanted to tell me how I am today?"

"Yes! ... I mean, no. I mean, do you want to have dinner?"

"Dinner?" Rainbow asked with a giddy look on her face, reclining into a backstroke position. "But it's lunchtime!"

"But... I didn't mean lunch... I meant..."

"Oh... Right. Dinner..." Rainbow commented with a sly smirk. "I get what you're sayin'. Sure Twi!"

"Yeah, I mean... later. I was thinking we could... Be together?"

"Be together?" Rainbow Dash asked, smiling curiously.

"Yeah... together... to— To eat food!" Twilight explained, with a painful forced smile etched across her face. Why was this so hard?

"Oh... just to eat food?"

She looks disappointed... Why does she look like that? Does she not even want to have dinner with me? Oh, what's wrong with me?!

"I mean, we don't have to if you don't want to..." Twi added, twiddling her hooves together.

"No, I do, I really do!" Rainbow protested.

She's just being nice, Twilight. She doesn't want to go. She's probably got so many things she'd rather do than go to dinner with you.

"Actually... I just... I just remembered I need to re-shelf the library again tonight."

"Can I—" Rainbow paused for a moment, clearly uncertain of why she would ever offer such a thing, but she carried on anyway. "Can I help?"

She's so nice! You don't even deserve her, Twilight. Turn her down. Turn her down!

"No... I... I was going to try and think of a new organizational system tonight. You... You'd just be in the way..."

NO TWILIGHT, NO! THAT WAS WRONG. SO VERY WRONG! HOW CAN YOU BE SO SMART AND SO STUPID AT THE SAME TIME?!

"Oh..." Rainbow remarked, crestfallen, "Sorry... I..." She paused to think, then cheered up a bit. "I guess I'll see you on Thursday then?"

"Right... Flying lessons... I... Maybe I shouldn't keep doing those..."

Rainbow looked crushed. "Wha— What'd I do, Twi?"

TWILIGHT! WHAT IN THE NAME OF EVERLOVING FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! THIS IS THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU SET OUT TO DO! YOU ARE DESTROYING YOUR FRIENDSHIP!

"I just... I don't... I'm..."

"Are we still... Are we still gonna keep writing, at least?"

Twilight, this is your last chance to fix this, don't you dare fuck this up.

"I..." Twilight brought her hoof to her chest, took a deep breath, and pushed it away with a long exhale. She took another deep breath, and opened her mouth to speak, but she found it almost impossible to push air past her vocal chords. She breathed out hard, took another deep breath, and finally forced the words to come to her lips. "I want you, Rainbow!"

Rainbow squinted her eyes,  then smiled radiantly. "You want... Me?"

Twilight rested her head in her hooves and sighed in frustration. That wasn't quite what she had intended to say. "I just... I'll see you on Thursday..." she muttered quickly as she flew off into the distance.

Rainbow called out after the fleeing alicorn, "So does that mean we're still on for flying lessons?!"

The purple pinprick on the horizon offered no response, so Rainbow gave chase, rapidly closing the gap between them. Twilight jumped in surprise as the sky-blue blur came up alongside her. 

"Same time as last week? ...Twi?" Rainbow asked, before waving her hoof before the alicorn's eyes. "You okay in there?"

Twilight was just barely able to pull her gaze away from Rainbow's incredibly powerful wings, only to find herself lost in the pegasus' beautiful magenta eyes.

"Twiiiiiiiiii..."

Twilight shook her head back and forth rapidly. "Yeah, yeah... We're still doing the lessons... Sorry, I'm... I'm just distracted today. I shouldn't have come to see you."

Rainbow smiled, satisfied with the answer. "And you're sure you don't wanna go to dinner?" She chuckled. "I'll pay, even!"

"I... Uh... Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure. That was a stupid idea. Sorry for bringing it up."

"It wasn't stupid! I totally wanna have dinner with you!"

Twilight stopped abruptly, holding her hooves to her head. "I... You... No you don't! Stop being so nice!"

"Yeah I d—"

Bam. Twilight teleported off again, leaving a sad and confused Rainbow Dash hanging over Sugarcube Corner.

> Cabron
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	Twilight looked especially nervous as she wandered into Carousel Boutique. "Rarity... Could you help me out with something?"

"Oh, certainly, dear! Anything at all for my favorite princess! What is it? Big event coming up? Need a new dress to fit the occasion?"

"No, it's—"

"Feel like your saddles are too last-season and want to get caught up?"

"No, actually—"

"You need a new giant hat to complement your tiara?"

"Rarity, it has nothing to do with fashion!"

"Oh... Well I'm still happy to help... What was it you needed dear?"

"I want to talk to you about... a relationship..."

Rarity's eyes sparkled brightly. "Oh... Twilight, I'm... I'm so overcome... I don't even know what to say! Oh, we'll have to start planning the wedding immediately..." She levitated a piece of white fabric around her head to form a makeshift veil as she started sorting through a drawer full of dress designs. "Why, we'll be the most fabulous couple ever to get married in Canterlot, and you'll be able to invite all the most sophisticated ponies around!"

"No... Not with you..." Twilight remarked, her eyes following Rarity around the room with some concern. "Do you... actually like me like that?"

Without even missing a step, but with an ever-so-slightly disappointed look on her face, Rarity replied, "Darling, you're a dear friend, and in order to marry into royalty, I'd even be willing to suck... Uh... Oh... Never mind, I don't remember where I was going with that. Just joking, dear. Now... Tell me. What specifically were you meaning to talk about?"

"Well... It's about Rainbow Dash..." Twilight paused, hoping she wouldn't have to say the full sentence for Rarity to put the pieces together.

"Oh... Yes, I was wondering when this would come up. I hope you understand, Darling, that was just a single specific instance, that was repeated maybe one or two or seventeen other times. You know, just whenever Rainbow needed it. Or I was bored. I do solemnly swear that I will be mindful of the boundaries that you and Rainbow establish in your relationship."

"What?"

"Joking again, darling." Rarity offered with a disingenuous laugh.

"Are you saying that you and Rainbow—"

"Could you please get to what you were specifically asking about?" Rarity hissed through a fake smile.

"It's just... I kind of have feelings for Rainbow Dash."

"Really, Twilight?" Rarity asked, her head tilted forward, and her eyelids drooping sarcastically, "I never would have guessed!"

"Well, It's true. I've been attracted to her for a long time, but lately, I've just been... Obsessed. Thinking about her night and day, having dreams about her... So today I asked her out, but I messed it up, bad."

"How am I supposed to help with that?"

"You just... Seem to have so much experience with these sorts of things..."

"What sorts of things?"

"Relationship things... S-sex things..."

"Twilight, do you realize you're essentially calling me a harlot?"

"I don't mean it as an insult... You're just... You've studied this topic more than I have! And the books about it are awful. I've checked. Nothing but bad pickup lines and more anatomy than I'm proud of knowing... For example, I know the names and anatomical locations of the full set of mana nodules that can be massaged to ultra-sensitize a pegasus' wings."

"Dear, they're pegassi. You don't need to sensitize anything, they've got no stamina to begin with."

"Well see? There's something you know that I don't! Teach me!"

"Well, darling, it's not like... There isn't some universal guide on how to love... It's just something you know how to do. Every pony does."

"Buh... But I don't!"

"But you do, Twilight! You're just... thinking about it too much."

"Thinking... too much?"

"Yes... Love isn't... You don't plan it, or write books about how to do it, you just feel your way through it as you go along. It's something your heart knows about... not your head."

"What could my heart know that my brain doesn't?"

"More things than it should, if you have to ask that question..."

Twilight tilted her head. "What?"

"Look, Twilight, if you want my honest advice, you should get really drunk and go visit Rainbow Dash, and everything will work itself out from there."

"I don't wanna make an ass outa myself!"

"Well, dear, it sounds like you already did. This plan could only improve the situation."

Twilight grunted in frustration. "Why did I think you would be any help?"

"Because I have a lot of sex, apparently. I wasn't quite following your logic either..."

"But you do! You brag about it all the time."

"Yes, but that doesn't make me an expert on love."

"Well, who is an expert?"

"You should go ask Pinkie for advice. She loves more ponies in one night than I have in my entire life."

"Pinkie? I hardly think she's going to be able to help me with a real adult relationship problem. I'm not even sure Pinkie knows what sex is..."

"Uh... Twilight, are we even talking about the same pony?"

"Pinkie Pie, Element of Laughter, balloons on her ass... Throws parties like a six-year-old..."

"Well, during the day, her parties are required to be in accordance with Equestrian Public Decency laws. Have you never been to one of her night parties?"

"Pinkie throws parties at night? When does she sleep?"

"Pinkie? Sleep? Now I know you're joking."

Twilight only cocked her head in response.

"Wow... You've known Pinkie for how long? Look. Just go to Sugarcube Corner and ask her about last night's party. Prepare yourself for an earful of some of the most colorful language you've ever heard, describing acts of sexual depravity you could never imagine on your own."

"Uh... Okay, I guess..." Twilight paused to think. "That helps me how?"

"Well, once you've been convinced that Pinkie knows what she's talking about, she may be able to offer up some valuable advice..."

"Oh... Sure. Yeah. Thanks, Rarity."

"Any time, darling."

> Hot, Sticky, Sweet
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	"My party last night?" Pinkie parroted the question Twilight had just asked her. "Oh, that one was a little disappointing. A pretty small one, just six mares and twelve stallions."

"Just twelve stallions?" Twilight muttered in disbelief.

"Yeah, but it was pretty special! I was testing this new lube I invented that's made from chocolate sauce, but specially formulated so it doesn't cause infections!"

"Wait, what?"

Pinkie began energetically pantomiming as she described the previous night's exploits. "So there I was, wrist-deep in Blossomforth, chocolate sauce everywhere, and she's just begging for more, so I start to slip another hoof up inside her like this."

Twilight's mouth fell open as she watched Pinkie simulate sliding a second hoof into the imaginary vagina before her.

"But it still wasn't enough, so I dipped my back hoof into the chocolate sauce and started putting it in her ass like this. Went in nice and smooth..." Pinkie explained as she balanced on a single back leg, projecting her three free legs all in the same direction. "So then a stallion, can't remember which one, decides he wants in on that, so he slathered his cock up in the sauce and started shoving it in my pooper."

Twilight squinted her eyes in disbelief, hardly able to comprehend what she was hearing.

"I know, right! So rude to do that without even saying anything first. Especially somepony with a big giant dick like his. But the lube worked really good, so it felt super-duper!"

"He... Just..."

"Yup! But that's not even the best part. So there I was, three hooves inside Blossomforth, some big ol' stallion fuckin' me up the ass, and then Cheerliee walks up and starts letting me lick her pussy," She stuck her tongue out and wiggled it around as she continued to gyrate her body while still balancing on one hoof, "and another stallion slides up underneath me and starts doin' me dolphin-style!"

"What?!"

"I know! It was like a good ol' fashioned gang-bang!"

"Pinkie... I..."

"So then, Caramel comes up — and I know it was Caramel, because I don't know anypony else with two penises."

"Caramel has two—"

"Yup! Some kinda crazy birth-defect! Like, he was supposed to be born with a twin, but instead he just got his twin's dick and an extra ball."

"Wha— What?"

"So Caramel comes up, and he gets one dick in my pussy and the other one in my ass, while those other stallions were still inside me!"

"Four—"

'"Yeah! It was crazy! So then Fluttershy drops in with a strap-on and starts just screwing the shit out of Caramel!"

"FLUTTERSHY?!"

"And then before you know it, it's a train, and everypony's just part of one big happy ball of fucking and sucking!"

Twilight blinked slowly as she tried to fit all the information that had just been divulged to her into the already unstable framework of understanding she had regarding Pinkie.

"So that was when I had my first orgasm of the night, and then I made sure everypony else came. It's so hard to figure out if Fluttershy finished or not, so I made sure to suck her off really quick, cuz she'll just sit there all night unsatisfied without saying anything because she doesn't want to hold anyone up, sweet little dear."

"You... With Fluttershy..."

"Oh yeah, we're totally going steady! I mean... as steady as I can go anyways."

"Wait, really? Are you sure?"

"Absitively posolutely!"

"But then... Why do you have sex with all those other ponies then?"

"It works for Golden Harvest and Written Script! They come to my parties almost every night!"

"They do?!"

"Yuppers! So then when I was sure Flutters was done, we all sat down for a game of Parcheesi!"

"Is that a euphemism for something?"

"Nope! It's just Parcheesi."

"Why?"

"Gives everypony a chance to cool down, stallions can recharge, we all get to chit-chat about the first round, get to know each other, make plans for what we're gonna do together after Parcheesi... Not to mention it's a really fun game! Mayor Mare won two games in a row, but then GoldenGrape and Lucky Clover tied in the last one."

"Uh-huh..." Twilight replied while nodding slowly.

"So after that we started round two, which was a DOOZY. I have never given eight hoof-jobs at once before, but trust me, it's crazy complicated! I wish I'd of been paying attention to everypony else though, because somepony lost a hamster inside Mayor Mare."

"WHAT?!"

"Yeah, we spent thirty minutes searching her, because she couldn't remember which orifice it was."

"HOW DO YOU FORGET SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!"

"Well, it was one of those 'three go in, two come out' deals. You know how it is. But then after a while we remembered that there were only ever two hamsters to begin with. SO silly! But it was alright, cuz the Mayor really enjoyed it when we were poking around inside her lookin' for it, and everypony had a good laugh. Plus, we learned from Doctor Stable that colonoscopy spells can be both educational AND fun."

Pinkie raised her hoof to her mouth, trying to remember the details. "So then we got back into the swing of things, and GoldenGrape dared Blossomforth to fit a bowling ball in her vagina, which she totally did, it was amazing. She tried to launch it out to knock down some dildos we set up as pins, but her aim was just awful."

"That's impossible."

"Well she did it! Then we got back to screwing, and everything was going fine until Cosmic tried to stick it in Cheerilee's butt, he just got so excited that he got her mixed up with somepony who liked that."

"Uhh... She doesn't like it?" Twilight asked, thinking back to a rather steamy night she had shared with the school teacher. "I mean, she's the one who got me into that in the first place..."

"Well, she doesn't trust just anypony to do that to her... So, back to the story, she let me lick the chocolate sauce off her booty, and I let Cosmic screw me while I took care of Cheerilee with a vibrator. And then—

"Pinkie, that's enough!"

"Huh?"

"I really don't need to hear any more."

"If you didn't want to hear the story, why'd you ask?"

"Well... I was telling Rarity about this problem I was having, and she suggested I ask you about your late night parties..."

"OH, so you want in? That's great! We can always use more mares! Let's just go ahead and get you set up with the tail bands right away."

"No, I... Tail bands?"

"Yeah, it's this awesome color-coding scheme I thought up to make sure that everypony knows what everypony else is into. Saves loads of time that we used to waste on talking. Cosmic got it mixed up last night, but that usually doesn't happen. Pink means you're okay with receiving vaginally, purple is for receiving anal, silver means you like to suck stallions, while periwinkle means you prefer the pussy. Green means you go for  gentle love, red means you like it really rough, yellow is somewhere in-between and means you wanna use a safeword, and fluorescent orange means you're up for anything. I really don't recommend that one, though, some ponies that come to my parties like some really crazy stuff."

"I'm sorry, Pinkie, but I don't... I don't think I want to be part of that."

"Awww, why not?"

"You just... how do you... How do you have sex with all those different ponies? Doesn't love mean anything to you?"

"I love everypony, silly filly!" Pinkie replied as she pecked Twilight on the cheek. "But I understand that some ponies are shy. If you wanna have a private party with me I'm sure I can find the time for somepony as special as you!"

Twilight blushed and retreated a bit. "I appreciate it, Pinkie, but... That's not why I'm here."

"Well, why are you here?"

"Well... I'm having a problem with love, I uh... I love... I have feelings for Rainbow Dash."

"Well of course, it's normal to have feelings for all your friends. Rainbow makes me feel silly," she said as she smiled brightly, "and Applejack makes me feel super-serious," she remarked while shifting her face to reflect incredible seriousness, "and Fluttershy makes me feel pretty!" She finished by clasping her hooves together under her face and fluttering her eyelashes.

"No, that's not how I mean, I just... I think Rainbow Dash is... Sexy..."

"Well, yeah, we're all sexy in our own ways!"

Twilight was starting to get frustrated. At least before, when she believed Pinkie was naive about adult relationships, her cluelessness was justifiable. But now that Twilight knew what she knew, it was clear that Pinkie was just fucking with her. "I want to be in a relationship with Rainbow!"

"You're already in a relationship with her!"

"No! A committed, romantic, relationship! I love Rainbow Dash! I want to be in a romantic relationship with Rainbow Dash!" Twilight insisted as she slammed her hoof down on the counter, causing the bell in the cash register to ring.

"You finally said it!" Pinkie announced happily as she bounced up and down, beaming with pride. She zipped around the counter to Twilight's side and threw a hoof over her shoulder. "See? That wasn't so hard!"

"Wait... What? Oh... You're right... It... It wasn't..."

"So now you just gotta say the same thing to Rainbow!"

Twilight choked on her own tongue.

"Come on! It's easy! Just a few words! You'll never know how Rainbow feels unless you open up to her!"

"But how does she feel about me?"

"That's something she's gotta tell you!"

"Exactly! So either she doesn't feel anything for me or she doesn't want me to know she does!"

"Well, you like her, don't you?"

"Yeah..."

"And does she know that?"

"Not really..."

"But you want her to know, don't you?"

"Yeah..."

"So how do you know she's not going through the exact same thing as you?"

Twilight's eyes widened. "Is... Is she?"

"How could I know that, silly?"

"I think you know more than you let on..."

"Really?" Pinkie asked, bringing her face unnecessarily close to Twilight's, "Iiiii think I know less than I let on!"

"You... Uh... What?"

"Ehhhhh-xactly." Pinkie affirmed. Suddenly, her tail twitched, and she quickly dove to push Twilight out of the way of a pile of sex-toys that spontaneously fell out of the shelf above. "Sorry, Twi, I packed that shelf a little too full. It wasn't the only thing that was packed too full last night though... Check this out!"

Pinkie turned her fanny to Twilight's face, giving her a rather close-up view of a tight little pink balloon-knot that Pinkie was claiming had engulfed the full girth and length of two stallions simultaneously. Just as Twilight began contemplating the physiological impossibility of such a thing, the secure sphincter slowly slackened, the hole growing steadily wider of its own accord, until Twilight was sure she could have stuck her hoof inside without touching the sides. Just as Twilight was beginning to grow nauseated from being able to see all the the way to the end of Pinkie's rectum, the gaping asshole snapped shut like a rubber band. Impossible. Literally impossible.

"I haven't had that much stretch since I went over to Rarity's to try out her toys. She was so jealous she never let me come back again!"

"Really? That doesn't sound like Rarity."

"Well... I sorta stuck some of her favorite and hardest to clean toys where the Sun doesn't shine... And she doesn't use them that way, so I kinda ruined them..."

"Oh... Well, Pinkie," Twilight began, still stuck staring at Pinkie's ass, "would you mind getting off of me?"

"Okie Dokie!" She bounced up and began loading the toys back into the shelf above by picking them up in her mouth. A mother and her foal walked through the front door of the store, only to see Pinkie wrapping her teeth around a rather large dildo. She turned to look at them, smiling enthusiastically, with the large elastic rubber member hanging out of either side of her mouth. The mother covered her foal's eyes and backed away slowly, so disquieted by the scenario that she could hardly even find the enthusiasm to be outraged.

"But I wanted a cupcake, mommy!"

"Not now, sweetie. Not now."

Twilight rested her face in her hoof, shocked by the lack of professionalism and sanitary concern implicated in storing sex toys in a cabinet inside a public bakery. After a long sigh, during which she contemplated whether or not it had ever been a good idea to eat the food produced by this establishment, she asked, "So what do I do about me and Rainbow?"

"I-unn-er" Pinkie mumbled through anal beads, before spitting them up into the shelf. "That's kinda up to you!"

"But I came here specifically to ask you for help!"

"And I did help. I told you you needed to tell Rainbow Dash how you feel. Simples!"

"No, not 'simples'! Complicateds!" Twilight quickly shook her head at the lack of literacy she had just demonstrated. "It's complicated!"

"There's nothing easier, Twi, you just open your mouth and make sounds come out. Like this! Ahhhhhhhhh! Lahlahlahlahlah! Wabralabadingo! Ziggeridoo! Jiggity-pando! I like Rainbow Dash! See? Easy!"

Twilight sighed again. "Thanks for your help, Pinkie... I guess..."

"No problem! And here, have these tail-bands just in case you change your mind; you can drop in whenever, there's a party here every night! Took me weeks to convince Fluttershy to come, but now she has so much fun it's crazy!"

"Thanks..." Twilight mumbled, as she took the elastic bands from Pinkie's mouth and into her magical aura. Immediately after Twilight teleported off to a new location in the hopes of solving her problem, Lyra and BonBon approached the counter.

"Tail bands. We want them. Also, can we bring friends?"

"The more the merrier!" Pinkie insisted, offering them bags containing the colorful elastics. Lyra magicked them up and slipped them into her saddlebag before she and her partner walked off, smiling deviously at one-another.

Rainbow Dash passed them on their way out. "Pinkie, hey, I—" Rainbow stopped short as she noticed the huge pile of erotic gear that Pinkie was still loading onto the shelf.

"Whassup Rainbow?"

"Oh, I uh... Yeah. I was looking for Twilight, and Rarity said she might be here. You seen her?"

"Ummmm.... Nope! Can't say I have. You should totally check Applejack's barn, though!"

"Thanks Pinkie!" Rainbow turned to the door and prepared to take off. "Wait, why?"

"Cuz that's where she is!"

"How do you know that?"

"I don't!"

Rainbow glared at Pinkie, completely and utterly confused beyond recovery, and set off towards Sweet Apple Acres.
> The Song Remains The Same
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	Applejack emptied a basket of apples into a large hopper, and turned to find herself suddenly face-to-face with a rather distraught-looking lavender alicorn. Internally, she was a bit shocked and frightened, but it didn't show in her demeanor. She simply sat down and tilted the brim of her hat up. "Oh... Twi... I didn't see ya walk in..."

"I... I kinda teleported," Twilight replied glumly.

"What's the matter, sugarcube?"

"I did it again, AJ..."

Solemnity spread across Applejack's normally stoic face. "Oh... Oh gosh... It'll be okay, Twi... Ah'll get mah shovel, and you just meet me in the Everfree in fifteen minutes and we'll just make this all go away!"

Twilight looked confused for a moment. "Oh... No... No, not that. That was just that one time... And she had it coming to her."

Applejack breathed a sigh of relief. "That she did... So... What is it then?"

"Rainbow Dash."

"Well, what about 'er?"

"Well... I went to go see her today... to tell her how I feel about her... That I uh... Like her..."

"Good for you! How'd it go?"

"I got cold hooves again..."

"That's not so bad, Twi, 'twouldn't be the first time."

"No... it wasn't bad... It was a disaster!"

"It can't be worse than last time..."

"She asked to help me with something, and I told her she would be in the way... and then I tried to cancel my flying lessons."

"Oh..."

"Yeah..."

"Well, it coulda' been worse!"

"How could it have been worse?!"

"You could've gotten halfway through asking her out, then taken it back."

Twilight's mouth fell open as she thought back to what she had just done. "Well..."

"You didn't..."

Twilight kicked at the dirt floor of the barn. "I might have..."

"Oh, Twi..."

"It's hopeless, isn't it?"

"It... It could always be worse..."

"Yeah..."

"Ah mean... Y'all are still friends, right?"

Twilight smiled. "Yeah... I guess so... I might need to apologize, though... I kinda ran off on her... Might have been a little rude."

"Well, there ya go. That's what really matters. And you still have plenty ah time to tell her how you feel. No need ta rush it..."

"You're right, AJ... Thank you! You 're always so level-headed... I don't know why I didn't just come to you first!" Twilight said as she hugged her friend tightly

"Ah'm always glad ta help a friend! Don't mention it!"

"Hey Applejack, you around?" Rainbow Dash called out from some ways away.

Panicked, Twilight dived behind a pile of hay. "I'm not here!" she whispered frantically.

"Ah—" Applejack paused for a second, trying to figure out how to best handle the situation. She moved quickly towards the barn door, replying, "Ah'm over here, sugarcube!"

Rainbow Dash's hooves made landfall outside the barn, as AJ moved just beyond the door to meet her. She shut the door almost completely behind her, but Twilight could still make out most of the conversation.

"You have a minute to talk, AJ?"

"Sure thing, what's achin' ya?"

"Well... It's about Twilight..."

"Ya don't say..."

"Well, it's just... I think she likes me..."

"And do ya like her back?"

"I don't—"

A cow mooed, preventing Twilight from hearing.

"—she's not cool enough—"

The cow mooed again. "Do you mind?!" Twilight hissed at the boisterous bovine.

"MooooOOO-sorry, I didn't realize you had per-moooooOOO-ission to eavesdrop on their private conversation."

"Mind your own business!"

"Twi, is that you?" Rainbow asked, peering through the barn door. She caught nothing more than a flash of purple light, but that was enough for a positive identification. "AJ... Was she here all along? Did you know?"

"Well, she kinda..." AJ trailed off as she notice Pinkie's head hanging out of the apple hopper in the back of the barn, glaring at her."

"Ah, uh... Ah had no idea she was there." She insisted unconvincingly, shifting her eyes left to right.

"She was here talking to you about me, wasn't she?"

Applejack paused for a moment, then sighed, defeated. "Yeah..."
> A Mare On A Mission
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	Twilight was on the verge of tears as she descended the long spiral staircase. She heard it from Rainbow herself. "I don't." Rainbow didn't like Twilight. "Not cool enough." Of course she wasn't cool enough. She would never be cool enough. She was just a nerd, and she was lucky that someone like Rainbow Dash was even willing to talk to her. Twilight would never be able to hold Rainbow Dash in her arms, stroke her mane, feel her powerful wings...

There was only one thing left for Twilight to do. This was her rock-bottom, but she had no other choice. The royal harem. A secret, well-kept from the public. A way for the princesses to work off their sexual tension. Tax paperwork classifies them as part of the royal guard, and in a way, they are; the ponies that worked there protected the princesses from the bad publicity and humiliation involved in seeking more traditional escorts.

Twilight never wanted to go there. The concept disgusted her. Using a pony for sex... Someone she didn't even care about... and who didn't care about her. How could Celestia even call that sex? Long before Twilight's coronation, and even before her studies on friendship, Celestia had told her of the harem's existence, and even offered her admission to the exclusive, secret halls. Twilight almost immediately turned down the offer, taking special care not to insult Celestia's way of life. Through a very uncomfortable conversation, she insisted that she didn't have strong enough urges to justify it, and that she was happy just taking care of herself when the need arose, as it only did very rarely.

Back then... that was mostly true. She was so focused on her studies, she really only found the inspiration to pleasure herself a few times a week; sometimes less, if she was in the middle of a particularly important or interesting assignment. When she came to Ponyville, though, everything changed. She started to make friends. Not just with the other Elements of Harmony, but with the rest of the town as well. As she began experiencing more and more ponies on a more personal level, she started to become familiar with all the different kinds of feelings one can have for other ponies, and she developed her first real crush — at age 18, mind you — on her friend's brother, Big Macintosh.

That's when life got awkward.

Previously, when she had clopped, if she thought about anyone, she thought of fictional characters, or famous ponies. Creatures she thought she'd never meet. There was one time — one time — that she thought about Celestia, and she spent the next month of her life as a hermit, never leaving her quarters except to acquire more books on memory-erasing spells. She could hardly look her mentor in the eyes until every remnant of the thought was all but completely wiped from her mind.

When she laid back in her bed on a hot summer night, and began to masturbate, only to find the large red stallion running freely through her mind, a lot of very complicated and painful feelings resurfaced. Damage done during her last foray into mind-altering magic discouraged her from trying to solve her new problem in the same way as the old one, so she just lived with the shame and the guilt that other ponies would have grown out of in much younger years. Thankfully, over the next several months, she reached a more appropriate level of emotional maturity, but by the time she was able to touch herself to thoughts of the great burgundy farm-pony without feeling like she was doing something wrong, she no longer felt any significant attraction to him.

As time passed, fleeting feelings of infatuation for various ponies came and went, and Twilight became more comfortable with her sexuality. She had sex with a couple of stallions... and a mare. Nothing that lived up to the romantic fantasy she had developed in her childhood, but... At least she could call them her friends. Ponies she had met before... Ponies she liked and cared about... Ponies she thought she might be able to love, even if she didn't feel like she was quite there yet.

That's when... Rainbow happened. A quiet night, the two of them alone in the library, reading the latest installment of Daring Do together... Hooves touched, eyes locked, heart-rate quickened. She had always found the pegasus to be beautiful, but she was starting to notice things that had evaded her before. Her unkempt mane had a certain bestial majesty to it, but that was nothing compared to the burning passion in her eyes, or the undeniably intense and complex magical fields generated by her beautiful wings— a latent energy that overwhelmed Twilight's particularly sensitive horn any time she was physically close to the pegasus. Twilight could go on for hours describing that field, for years even, finding the right mathematical terms to define it perfectly, with its infinitely regressing fractal patterns... Even without meaning to, Rainbow Dash stimulated Twilight in all the right ways.

No. It's time to stop thinking about Rainbow like that. It's time to be cured.

I got over Celestia... And Big Mac... And Cheerilee... I just need to get over Rainbow now. This must be how Celestia feels all the time... This must be why the harem exists. It's a psychological treatment. A way to get past these stumbling blocks, past these obsessions, and get back to focusing on things that matter.

At last, Twilight reached the end of the long staircase, finding herself deep within the mountain under the castle. This was another part of the same crystal caverns she had once been imprisoned in; not quite as far down, but still tucked away where nopony sane would ever find it. The grand carved doors, enchanted only to open for those authorized for entry by Celestia herself, swung eagerly outward to make way for Twilight, to induct her into the ancient royal rite.

Sitting before her, at the front desk, was the last pony she had hoped to see there.

Rainbow Dash.

A sultry voice poured from the prismatic pegasus' lips. "Hey there, egghead."

Twilight backed away slowly, only to find herself bumping ass-first into the door, which had silently closed behind her.

Rainbow Dash gracefully slithered out of her chair and began swaggering towards Twilight with an undeniably sensual swing in her step. "Don't be shy, Twi... I'm gonna make you feel all better..."

Twilight was far from relieved by this announcement, and she found herself pressed ever-harder against the door with each passing second, hoping it would swing open and free her; that maybe she could fall down into the caverns below and be lost forever.

"Are you okay, my sweet? What is the matter?"

That didn't sound like something Rainbow Dash would say. Or... Well, she might say something like that, but that's not the way she would say it.

"Did I make a mistake? Is this form not most pleasing to you?"

"That... That form?"

"I attempted to take on the form of the one you most longed for... The creature who resonated within your heart most strongly..."

"I... I don't understand..."

A pale green glow filled the room as the Not-Rainbow-Dash revealed her true self. A black, chitinous body, legs riddled with holes, shiny translucent wings...

Twilight jumped, slightly startled, and prepared mentally to defend herself. "A... A changeling..."

"Yes..." The creature bowed her head, and winced, as thought Twilight was raising a hoof to strike her. "I... I might have tried to hide it, but you know of my kind. I can feel your resentment for me... burning... Tasting of acid..."

"I'm sorry..." Twilight replied guiltily, as she tried to think of a way to help.

"That's a little better already, thank you," The changeling offered, straightening herself up a bit. The way she lived was so strange; feeding empathically; feeling in one's heart what one wasn't fully consciously aware of to begin with. "You believe I work for the one called Queen Chrysalis?"

"Don't all changelings?"

"She commands but one swarm; and there exist many. I decided that that life was not for me, so I found a new swarm— within the hive called Canterlot... Celestia hoped to make me part of normal society, but I... I could not live that way. The ponies at the surface... Their distrust burns like boiling oil. So many of them... So much hate..."

"You're all alone down here?"

The changeling smiled, as Twilight's genuine concern for her was soothing and satiating. "There are other changelings living here... Others like me... And... There are a few ponies who live among us... Kind ponies... Ponies who we can help..."

"So... When the princesses come here... They're... feeding you?"

"Yes."

That... That isn't quite as bad as I thought... I mean... I mean... Okay. So they need love to live. Which means... If I'm feeding them... It's... It's love isn't it? I think that makes sense. So... It's not... I'm not using them. It's like a... A mutualistic symbiosis! That's exactly what it is.

"And... And you're okay with... With having sex to live day to day?"

"My people have lived that way for hundreds of thousands of years... The difference between other changelings and myself is that my hosts are willing donors."

Twilight nodded agreeably.

The changeling's eyes faded from their typical iridescent blue to familiar bright magenta rings set behind light blue eyelids. "So... Shall we start back where we left off? Do you have any requests?"

Twilight slunk back a bit. "Do you have to become Rainbow?"

The changeling's eyes shifted back to blue. "It is... recommended. We will both derive the maximum benefit from it."

"But... The thing is... I'm trying my best not to... It's complicated."

"The heart is a simple thing, Twilight... You just haven't yet learned to listen to it yet." She tapped Twilight's head gently with her peculiarly hard and hollow hoof. "Too much thinking; not enough loving."

Twilight shifted uneasily, trying to wrap her mind around the alien concept of 'thinking too much.'

"Now," The changeling started, as her form gradually shifted into that of Rainbow Dash, and she took Twilight's hooves into her own, "Shall we begin?"

Twilight shuddered at the touch of the changeling's cold hooves, but within moments, they approximated the same warmth she might expect from a proper pony. Maybe this is the key. Maybe... If I just give my heart what it wants, and I... I don't think about it too much, things can go back to the way they were...

The Not-Rainbow-Dash nuzzled Twilight's neck, and nibbled on her ear. Even if Twilight had wanted to resist, she would have had trouble at this point. This was her fantasy... her dream. And it was playing out in real time, in real life... A hoof wrapped around her neck, and gently stroked her mane... A pair of lips came up to meet hers...

As Twilight attempted to allow herself to give in to the experience, she found the eyes looking back at her to be unsatisfactory. They weren't Rainbow's eyes; a close approximation, but not the same thing. The changeling within felt that in Twilight's heart, and could see it on her face, so she adjusted her illusion to better suit Twilight's needs, fine-tuning her appearance to perfection in a matter of seconds. She was used to handling complex replications, but this was far beyond what she might expect from a creature as young as Twilight. The obsession was so specific, so very passionate...

Now satisfied with the eyes, Twilight found herself leaning into the kiss and denying herself any kind of complex thought regarding the situation she found herself in. She was just going to play it by heart, and let things happen. The changeling was not only a professional, but her purpose for being was to infiltrate and understand the hearts of other living things, so Twilight decided to trust her expertise on the matter. Just this once.

Twilight reached around the would-be pegasus, and ran her hooves along the covert feathers, eliciting erotic moans. It felt so very real; like real feathers, on a real limb, filled with real muscles that tensed and pulsed under her touch. In fact, every inch of Rainbow's physique had been replicated with remarkable precision... Wiry, lean legs, toned buttocks, a petite trunk with muscles that could only just barely be seen through a soft, shiny coat— Even the very specific twirls and out-of-place strands in her hair, a subtle scar on her left cheek from a particularly rough crash through a window... Every little bit of Rainbow was there, including details that sometimes went missing in Twilight's dreams. Truly, the changeling's skill was marvelous, demonstrated in her ability to imitate, with such accuracy, someone she had never even seen, through only the imprint left in Twilight's heart.

Rainbow Dash slowly pulled her lips away from Twilight's, and ran a hoof under her chin gently, teasing her, coaxing her... 'Follow me,' she said, without any words. Twilight's body complied, almost without assistance from her brain, trailing closely behind the mare of her dreams. Together they entered a more private room, furnished with a fine bed adorned with silken sheets. The changeling turned away, depriving Twilight of the sight of her lover's face, but providing instead a glorious view of her rear-end, her prismatic tail excitedly twitching to and fro, revealing a tantalizing patch of flesh that Twilight had longed to taste, and to touch.

Twilight watched the changeling circle around her and shut the door gently, and then found herself backing towards the bed as the creature followed closely. Or, perhaps, the changeling was pushing her towards the bed. Such subtle distinctions hardly mattered, as Twilight felt her pulse quicken, her mouth drying, a warm heat developing in her groin. She lost herself to primal lust as her dream came closer and closer to fruition. She stumbled up onto the soft cushion, and the pegasus aggressively and hungrily pursued, climbing over Twilight and looming above her.

"So, I take it you like it rough?"

"Uh... A little... I think..." Twilight replied sheepishly.

"Mmhmm... Don't worry... I won't be too gentle." She responded, as she bent down to nip at Twilight's neck carefully.

Twilight laughed nervously. She didn't want to think about this situation any more than she absolutely had to, but... This wasn't quite right. Sure, she had fantasized about Rainbow taking command and throwing in a little tinge of pain here and there, but in her dreams there had been a level of trust there that didn't exist here.

The changeling interrupted her train of thought, breaking character for a moment. "You're forgetting, I can feel you as you feel yourself... I'll know if I'm going too far."

"Oh..." Twilight muttered, the illusion shattered. For a moment, the pegasus atop her felt a little different; a little bit wrong. But a moment passed, and she forgot that, so that the pony she was with was once again Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow drew back, away from Twilight, running a hoof down along the violet mare's midriff, right down to her crotch, withdrawing right before she made contact with Twilight's clitoral hood. Her wings came down on either side of Twilight's legs, and tenderly stroked her sides, and then her flanks, before the tips of feathers just barely teased her posterior. The pegasus smiled warmly as she bent down to service Twilight, applying gentle kisses all around, her tongue occasionally teasing at Twilight's labia... 

"Rainbow..." Twilight whimpered... "Oh my gosh..."

The changeling withdrew her mouth and stroked Twilight's marehood gently with her feather. "Just like you always dreamed..."

"Oh... Exactly..."

"I had the same dreams, Twilight... I laid in my bed, late at night, thinking of you just like you thought of me..."

"Really?"

"Mmhmm..." Rainbow mumbled through sealed lips as she dropped a kiss onto Twilight's clitoris, before slowly engulfing it with her lips, and then with her teeth, applying just enough pressure to hang on the fine line between pleasure and pain.

"OooOooh. Oh... Ouch!" Twilight's head bolted upright as the sensation suddenly changed— the changeling's teeth felt sharper.

"It's okay... It's okay," the changeling insisted, her insectoid voice slightly unmasked, some audible concern in her tone. "Just relax... Relax..." Her voice shifted back to a perfect imitation of Rainbow as Twilight was calmed. "Just cool it, egghead... Don't think too much... Let your heart decide..."

Twilight again had trouble with the concept of not 'thinking too much', but she was trying her best. As though to help her empty her mind, the changeling's tongue entered Twilight's vagina, scraping at the walls, finding all her most sensitive spots, touching her in wonderful ways she had never even discovered on her own, all while using her muzzle to massage at other, nearby, sensitive areas.

But it wasn't working. It felt good, but it wasn't what Twilight wanted. Physically, it was the greatest sensation Twilight had ever experienced, but emotionally, spiritually... there was something missing. She hardly even reacted to the changeling's touch at all.

Sensing she was beginning to lose Twilight, the changeling withdrew her tongue, and pursued even deeper, darker, more hidden fantasies from within Twilight's mind, penetrating her anus with her tongue. The pleasurable feeling... the taboo nature of the act... It excited Twilight, but with time, Twilight's arousal collapsed and the changeling's illusions broke down. Rainbow's tongue was replaced with the relatively thin serpentine tongue of a changeling, the soft face of Twilight's lover was replaced with the hard cold shell of a changeling's muzzle.

The changeling strained... She pushed... She was hyperventilating and dizzy and visibly exhausted. As she drew her tongue back into her mouth, her sad blue eyes rose to look upon Twilight's face. "I... I couldn't do it..."

"It— It's okay..." Twilight sighed, trying her best to mask her disappointment as she pulled the changeling close and cradled her in her arms, stroking her gently.

"Your... Your love... It's so powerful... So cerebral... There was nothing I could... I'm not strong enough..."

"It's okay...." Twilight insisted as she comforted the pitiable creature in her hooves. "It's okay..."

"I'm so sorry..."

"It's okay..."





Twilight rode a chariot home from Canterlot for the first time in a long time. She was too physically exhausted to fly, and she was sure that any and all attempts to teleport would land her next to Rainbow Dash. She was unable to focus on any other location. The whole ride home, she thought of nothing except for Rainbow Dash— How, instead of the taxing day she had just gotten through with, she could have had a relaxing dinner with the mare she loved, maybe retired back to her home to simply hold each-other and feel one another's warmth. But no. That wasn't how the night had gone. Instead, she paraded her humiliating shortcomings around town, sharing her feelings with everypony except the one who mattered, and then finally visited a whore, finding herself unable to find any kind of relief from even that venue. Now, it was late; it was already tomorrow, in fact. Twilight didn't even arrive home until 12:30AM, tired, depressed, angry, and horny.

Without even waiting for the carriage to come to a stop, Twilight dove out of it, opting to fly the last few dozen feet and save herself the time it would take for a proper landing. She swung her door open magically, rushed inside, silently crept past her sleeping assistant, and tucked herself into bed. What an absolutely miserable day. Her friends couldn't help her. Prostitutes couldn't help her. She was too incompetent to help herself. And Rainbow... Rainbow could probably never love her anyway! As if she had to worry about the consequences of loving a mortal... That would never happen. The only place she could be happy was in her dreams...
> Dream On (Until Your Dreams Come True)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	Twilight sauntered into the dimly lit restaurant, following her instincts. Effortlessly, she came upon Rainbow, sitting before a candle-lit table set for two, waiting for someone. She had been waiting for hours, it seemed, candles were burned down to nubs, and though the kitchen must have closed some time ago, food was already waiting on the table. Rainbow glanced at the doorway, and upon seeing Twilight, her face lit up; she may well have been the happiest pony in the world at that moment. It was Twilight she was waiting for.

The pegasus eagerly leapt from her seat and pulled out a chair opposite her own, beckoning for Twilight to join her. As the alicorn sat down and looked over the spread, she was shocked by what she found before her. Not only had Rainbow selected her favorite restaurant, but also her favorite food, favorite wine... and, now sitting across from her? Her favorite mare.

"I noticed you were running a little late," Rainbow said bashfully, "So I went ahead and ordered for you. I hope that's what you wanted..."

"It's... absolutely perfect," Twilight remarked, astonished. Where else but in a dream could she hope to find a mare that knew her so well? Nevertheless, she allowed herself to indulge in the fantasy, rather than question it. The two lovers ate alone in the candle-lit room, looking at each other longingly. On several occasions, Rainbow simply stopped eating and instead decided to watch Twilight's every move, basking in her radiant beauty. Twilight was really spoiling herself in this dream— It was almost too much. Almost.





After the two finished off the main course, they shared a slice of chocolate cheesecake, tenderly feeding each other bites of the delectable treat. Once they had emptied the plate, Rainbow wrapped a hoof around Twilight's and smiled softly. "So... I was thinking we could go back to my place and maybe... Have a little fun?"

"I think I'd like that," Twilight replied as she wrapped a wing around her companion and pulled her closer. "I'd like that a lot."

"Really?" Rainbow asked, her joy palpable. "Awesome!"

The two lovers left the restaurant and flew gracefully through the air, twisting and twirling around each other in grand spiraling arcs. Twilight leveled out, but Rainbow still hadn't had her fun, and she rolled underneath Twilight so they could fly belly-to-belly. Rainbow's mouth was bent into a stupid, almost drunken smile as she watched Twilight closely and mirrored her every move, completely trusting her lover to guide her through the sky.

Twilight took cursory glances downwards to see her aerial companion, drinking in the sight of the mare she so loved, although she was required to keep most of her attention on their trajectory, lest they crash into a cloud or some unfortunate passing pegasus. Twilight spotted a lake down below them, just a little out of the way, and dove for it, hardly thinking about why. Rainbow Dash obliged happily, not even questioning the detour, as she brought herself even closer to Twilight, until mere inches separated their bodies.

The two coasted across the surface of the lake, and the air flowing around them cut a wake into the water below. A full Moon shined brightly on the pristine surface, lighting them from above and below, and each time their wings drew close to one another during their synchronized flight, tiny sparks of magic would flit into and out of existence, twinkling as they arced through the crisp night air. Just as Twilight was about to pull up, the blue pegasus below her wrapped her arms around the neck of the violet alicorn above her and pushed, bringing them into a steep climb.

Higher... Higher... Ever higher, until the air grew unnaturally chilly, giving Twilight goosebumps, and the sky became obscenely black. As the stars danced around them, Rainbow Dash pressed her lips firmly against Twilight's, slowly opening them as she introduced her tongue into the other mare's mouth. She folded her wings, allowing herself to begin falling, and Twilight did the same. Even without pushing themselves, the innate magic of the two ponies was enough to stretch the laws of physics, and great arcs of magic twisted around them, struggling to interact with their great speed. As they approached the altitude of Rainbow's home, the pegasus squeezed a little more tightly around the alicorn, signaling for her to spread her wings, sharply altering their trajectory.

After gliding for a few seconds, Twilight landed gently on the clouds before Dashie's front door, with Rainbow still securely wrapped around her. Twilight lowered herself so that Dash would press into the cloud bank, and they looked into each other's eyes for a moment, before Twilight moved in for another kiss. Hardly able to contain her excitement, the newly minted princess then brought her face down to nuzzle the pegasus' soft wind-blown chest fur, and started to migrate South...

Rainbow blushed, as she protested. "Maybe we should wait to be inside before we start..."

Even though it was only a dream, and the thought of being watched voyeuristically was actually a bit of a turn-on, Twilight wanted to do as Rainbow wished. Even though this was Twilight's fantasy, Twilight's fantasy was to please Rainbow Dash; to take the emotional feelings she had for the pegasus and turn them into physical sensations that could be shared. Even if this wasn't really Rainbow, this was the closest Twilight would ever get to gratifying the pegasus, and she would take what she could get.

"It's a little messy..." Rainbow remarked, gesturing towards her home "I wasn't expecting you to agree to come over." With a blush, she beckoned Twilight through the front door and up through a gap in the ceiling that led to her bedroom.

By the time Twilight had made it into the bedroom, she found Rainbow bent low to the ground and presenting herself submissively. This was new— Twilight loved being on top, but even in her dreams, it was a struggle to claim the dominant position. It was easier to just accept her place as bottom. And yet, in this dream, Dash was simply yielding to her. Twilight almost felt guilty, as though she was greedily letting her own desires dictate how Dash should behave in the bedroom. Still, she didn't want to interrupt the flow; it was just such a wonderful dream. Too wonderful to pass up on after such an awful day.

"I'm ready, cutie." Rainbow uttered sheepishly, giving a shy look back to the violet mare standing behind her. Twilight eyed Rainbow's groin apprehensively. She hadn't had much face-time with these labia, but they looked different from the way she remembered. Not so tight and clean, with the inner lips protruding outside the outer ones, but still beautiful, nonetheless. Weird dream.

Twilight stuck out her tongue to meet Rainbow's soft flesh, and began delicately and methodically teasing her lips. Rainbow even tasted different in this dream— saltier, and maybe a little savory. It was far from the flowery, sweet taste Twilight had become accustomed to in prior dreams, but she still found it quite enjoyable. As the pheromones ran through Twilight's head, she felt a familiar tingle build up in her nether-regions. She wanted to reach back and take care of it, but this was Rainbow's moment...

"Oooohhh...Ooh..." Rainbow cooed as Twilight plumbed her depths. "Oh, Twilight..."

The alicorn moved down a little lower and began suckling at the pegasus' nipples.

"Twi? What are—" Twilight nibbled her teat gently. "Oh gosh... I didn't know that could feel so..."

Rainbow blushed and pressed her face into the cloud-based floor of her home as Twilight began to lick and suck her clitoris. "twulut... mmmmmph... Oooh..."

Though her mouth was occupied, Twilight smiled with her eyes. She usually wasn't very good at pleasuring her dream-Rainbow, but now she was finally feeling like she was giving back. She was able to give the pleasure she had received in so many prior dreams. Making Rainbow feel good was the greatest reward Twilight could imagine. If only she could do the same for the real Rainbow Dash; if only she could say how she felt, show how she felt— act as she felt she needed to act.

Twilight reached a hoof around Rainbow's flank and pushed forward, burying her face inside her lover's groin, savoring every smell, every taste, every sensation. She rubbed her horn against the base of Rainbow's Tail, and curiously, she also extended her wings, bringing them down to tenderly stroke at Rainbow's back hooves. She'd never done that in a dream before; and she wasn't sure why she was doing it now, but Rainbow was responding quite positively to it, so she continued enthusiastically.

In a matter of minutes, Rainbow was rocking back and forth in delight, screaming with pleasure. There was something different about this Rainbow Dash— different from every other time Twilight had dreamed of her. She wasn't making witty sexual puns, her stamina was much lower, and in place of dominance and sexual prowess was a certain shyness and humility that Twilight might expect to see from Fluttershy instead. Yet, this deviation from the usual fantasy was a welcome change— this Rainbow somehow felt more right, more true, more—

Several things happened in that moment to interrupt Twilight's train of thought. First off, Rainbow came. Not that that was a completely unusual occurrence in her dream, but she had never had a dream before in which Rainbow had actually ejected fluids from her genitals— at least, not unless a certain gender-bending spell had been applied beforehand. Secondly, some of it got in her eye, which didn't exactly feel wonderful. Finally, as Twilight withdrew her head, she noticed that there was a third pair of eyes in the room. Princess Luna was... Watching them. With very notable enthusiasm.

Twilight didn't say a word. She simply stared at the night princess, mouth agape, hoping that she wasn't really there and that this was just a really weird dream. After a moment, Rainbow's aloof flank toppled over, and she ended up on her side, facing away from Luna. She rolled over enough to see Twilight's horrified expression, which quickly turned her own satisfied grin into a similar look of worry, before she slowly traced Twilight's line of sight to the princess. The three sat silently and awkwardly for a brief time.

Luna simply looked prideful. "So, how are you two doing?"

"L-Luna..." Twilight stuttered, "what are you doing in my dream?"

"Yeah..." Rainbow Dash added, "This dream was kinda private..."

"But... Were you not having a good time?" Luna asked, now facing Rainbow Dash.

"Okay, now I know I'm just dreaming you. Why would you talk to her if it's my dream?"

"Because it's Rainbow's dream too."

"Wait, it's my dream 'too' ?" Rainbow asked. "Who else's dream is it?"

Luna tilted her head over to Twilight.

Twilight's pupils contracted and her lips pursed awkwardly as she realized what was going on, though Rainbow still didn't get it.

"What do you mean?"

"Two ponies can share one dream, Rainbow Dash. I noticed that the two of you were having basically the same dream, every night, for a week, and I ascertained that I could conserve bandwidth in the dreamscape by consolidating them. I was just checking in to make sure everything worked out to your liking."

Luna still looked rather proud of herself, Twilight looked like she was going to vomit, and Rainbow Dash was still confused.

"So... you're saying... Twilight really did just go down on me?"

Luna pondered it for a moment. "Basically, yes."

"And... she dreams about me like this all the time?"

Luna nodded thoughtfully.

"So... We're... like, marefriends now?"

Twilight shot Dashie a nervous glance.

"Were you not already?"

"Huh?"

"I can see from your dreams that you both care deeply for one another... Do you not already consider yourselves betrothed?"

"Well, I mean, I was gonna tell Twilight I liked her, but I just— I was so nervous about it."

"You do? You were?" Twilight asked, visibly shaken, "I had— I had no idea you liked me!"

"Rainbow's demeanor shifted as she remembered Twilight was still in the room. "I mean, I... kinda, I guess you're sorta cool... For an egghead..."

Luna glared at Rainbow sarcastically.

"Okay... I guess you're... Uh...."

Luna raised her eyebrows.

"Okay, okay, fine... Twi... you're the coolest pony I've ever met."

"Really?"

"Yeah! I mean... except for me. And maybe Spitfire."

"I... I don't know what to say..."

Luna smiled. "I can think of three words."

"Oh... yeah... I guess I... Now that we... Everything's all out in the open... I guess I... I... I lov... I..." Twilight was blowing it again. Just three words. It should be easy. Her eyes spoke to a pleading desperation. She wanted to say it. She knew it was true. She began to sweat...

"I love you too, egghead," Rainbow Dash interjected before pecking Twilight on the cheek.

Twilight's face flushed bright red.

"Well, I'm glad I was able to help clear this up..." Luna remarked. "But now I've got some other dreams to catch up on. If you need anything... You know how to find me!"

"Wait, Luna!" Twilight called out.

"Yes, Twilight?"

"I'm just really worried... well, about... You know..." Twilight gestured backwards and extended a wing to express her meaning.

"I am not certain of what you are... Oh... Oh. Yes. I see." She brought her hoof to her chin. "I... recommend that you do not worry about that."

"How could I not worry about it? It's a huge deal!"

Rainbow concernedly glanced back and forth between the other two ponies. "About what?"

Luna was clearly choosing her words carefully. "I do not presume that it will be a problem for very long."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I cannot share with you any further details. Bye, for now, Princess."

"Bye?"

Luna poofed away into a cloud of smoke.

"That was weird," Rainbow Dash remarked. "What're you worried about?"

"Uh... Nothing..."

"So... I guess we're alone now..."

"Yeah..." Twilight affirmed timidly, rubbing her forearm.

"So... You wanna finish where we left off?"

"I... I guess so... If you're okay with that..."

"Where were we?"

"Well... I think I had just..." Twilight flushed again. Her eyes darted back and forth. "I made you... come..."

"Yeah, I do seem to remember that... So I think that makes it your turn..."

"I— I don't know if I'm ready..."

"But I know you are!"

"But I can't even say that I lo— I... I love... I... I—" Twilight teared up as her mouth failed her yet again, but Rainbow Dash silenced her with her hoof.

"You don't have to say it. Because you showed me. I can feel it right here." Rainbow insisted, touching her hoof to Twilight's chest."

"Really?"

"Mmhmm... And... I love you too, Twilight. I really do! I was just so scared to say it... Scared of what everypony would think of me. But now that I've... I've felt the way you love me... I don't even care what anyone thinks. I love you. I just love you, so fucking much..."

"So... It really was you that ordered for me at the restaurant?"

"Well duh, Twi! You think I don't remember my best friend's favorite foods? Even when I thought it was just a dream I... I really wanted you to be happy!"

"And... the way you looked at me?"

"All me! I try not to stare in real life, but I just... I can feel in my heart that we're perfect for each other! My heart and... a couple of other places..."

"Huh?"

"Why don't you lay back, and I'll show you what I mean..."

"Ohhhhh... Oh. Ooh!" Twilight giggled "Oh... Rainbow!"

Rainbow pulled her head away, licking her lips. "Oh, wow... Wow... That's amazing! Not like grape at all!"

"What?"

"Nothing..." Rainbow muttered awkwardly as she started her tongue-work back up again.