> Twilight at the Disco
>  by 6ix
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> You Freeze a Rubber Chicken you don't Cook It.
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	Canterlot castle can best be described as grand: grand halls, grand rooms, grand kitchens, grand baths and bedrooms.

The two-thousand year old structure left nothing but thick stone between its inhabitants and the outside elements. Many spells surrounded the structure to make the inhabitants comfortable without altering the historic icon of Canterlot with modern methods of insulation.

Even with all that magic, two weeks into her rule and Twilight’s fireplace was still going out halfway through the night. She would wake up to an overwhelming cold every morning.

As the chill set in, she began to stir under her sheets, wishing to be warm. She felt the cold seep into her hooves and legs. It nipped at her nose while her ears hugged her skull for warmth. As she felt it take over her body she rolled over hoping to cover herself with more of her blanket. She bumped into something warm and furry; without thinking about it she pulled it close and latched onto it.

Twilight found the fur to be soft and thick as it tickled her nose. The heat that radiated from underneath it not only warmed her up but relaxed her; almost made her feel safe. As she drifted back to sleep she rubbed her face deeper into the fur and warmed her cold ears and cheeks.

Then the warm fuzzy thing started snoring.

Twilight eyes shot open and she slowly looked up to find Discord close enough to breathe on her.

Her legs wrapped around his midsection, while his tail swept around her and pressed against her back; the white tuff tangled in her mane. His head was just above hers; the heat of his breath rolling down her neck.

Her heart started beating its way out of her chest, her face became flushed as her stomach filled with butterflies; she opened her mouth, and…screamed.

A purple plume of magic shot Discord’s still sleeping body up, and smashed him against the ceiling. He fell right back into the bed with a few bits of the ceiling.  

After landing, his eyes were wide and bloodshot; he had to blink a couple of times to get his bearings. He soon noticed Twilight next to him; red faced and holding her sheets to her chin, as if to hide herself from him.

“Why are you in my bed?” Twilight yelled. She gritted her teeth at him and squeezed the blanket so tight that her joints hurt.

“A princess shouldn't raise her voice.” Discord mocked while wagging his finger at her. “Your guards could come in here to investigate all the yelling and find us in bed together.” Discord brought a claw to his mouth in false concern. “Oh, what would they think?”

Twilight understood what he was suggesting and took a deep breath, letting the air roll out of her nostrils, taking most of her rage with it. Once her anger subsided enough to control her voice she glared at the spirit.

“Why are you in my bed?” she asked, thrusting her face towards his.

“I was sleepy.” Discord answered as he stretched his arms out and popped his joints.

“Then why didn't you sleep in your bed?” she said throwing her hooves in the air.

“I lost it,” Discord stated casually as he popped his neck by twisting head all the way around.

“How did you lose your bed?” Twilight asked half halfheartedly. Annoyed that he would so casually invade her privacy; though part of her was not surprised.  

“I gave it legs.” he answered as if that was normal.

“Yo- wha-, how, why would you do that?” Her voice began to rise again.

Discord opened his mouth to answer, but Twilight interrupted him.

“Never mind, I don’t care,” she said while she rubbed her temples. “Why did you choose to sleep in my bed?” Twilight asked as she gained some control over her voice again.

“I didn’t. Well, I did, but that’s not why I came here. I wanted Spike to send some letters.” Discord pointed to a basket near the bed. “When I got here he was asleep, you were asleep, and I found myself sleepy.”

“That makes no sen-“ she stopped herself from finishing that sentence. “Never mind, with you nothing makes sense.”

“Or, everything makes sense with me and,” He said poking her in the nose. “You're the mad one.”

Before Twilight could yell at him to get out, Spike came out of nowhere and climbed onto the bed. Their augment woke him up and just like a foal would climb into their parent’s bed, so did Spike.

“Hey Discord.” He greeted him through a yawn. “What are you doing here?”

“Teaching Twilight about the birds and the bees.” Discord answered, smirking at the chance to cause trouble.

Twilight growled and raised a hoof to slap Discord.

“Oh she already knows about the birds and the bees.”

Twilight froze, her face quickly became a look of shock.

“Oh, really?” Discord gave Twilight a mischievous smile.

“Yea, she and Fluttershy showed me what they knew.” Spike yawned again.

Twilight pupils became like pinpricks while her mane became a little more disheveled. Her eyes didn’t focus on anything in particular. 
Discord rolled onto his stomach and put his head in his claws, like a foal listening to a story.

“How did it go, Spike?” he asked.

“It hurt,” he answered.

Discord stifled a laugh. “What? Did a bee sting you?” he teased.

“No.” Spike answered innocently. “Fluttershy had this little pecker and it got me good.”

Both Twilight and Discord started laughing so hard that they rolled off the bed. Spike, however, was rather taken back.

“It’s not funny!” Spike, clueless, started yelling at them. “Her pecker got me right in the eye!”

The two started laughing even harder, tears running down their faces. After gaining some control, they dragged their way back onto the bed like they were scaling a cliff.

“Spike,” Twilight said after catching her breath. She walked up to Spike and nuzzled him. His innocence made him such an endearing companion. “Don’t ever change,” She said as she placed a hoof around him.

Spike was really confused at this point, but embraced her back. However, a growl from Spike’s stomach interrupted them, causing Twilight to giggle a little bit more.

“Why don’t you go to the kitchen and eat; I asked them to stock a few gems for you. They might be in by now.”

With those words Spike forgot about everything else and ran out of the room licking his lips.

Twilight watched him leave with a smile on her face and an endearing feeling in her heart.

“You know, he was the reason I was here, right?” Discord said a little annoyed.

Twilight turned to him and gave him a sheepish smile. “Sorry.”

Discord sighed and levitated three letters out of nowhere into the air. He then snapped his fingers; Twilight watched as all three letters disappeared.

“You just sent them, didn’t you?” She didn’t wait for an answer. “Why didn’t you do that in the first place?” Twilight asked as she sent him a glare.

“I was bored,” Discord said as he lay back down in the bed.

Twilight sighed, “Of course you were. So whom were those letters for?”

“Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie,” He answered.

Twilight brain started ticking with curiosity, but all that came out of her mouth was, “Why are you writing to them?”

“Celestia suggested it; she said it would help remind me why I'm a, ‘Lord of the Court’, and not a paper weight.”

Twilight giggled, “Did she really say paper weight?”

“Yes she did,” he answered her with a smirk of his own. Discord enjoyed a good joke, even when he was the punch line.

Twilight giggled again, “Sorry, that was a little mean of her.”

Discord fluffed up his pillow and put his claws behind his head. “It’s ok. There was this one time that a certain mare that turned me to stone. Now that was mean.”

Twilight decided to play along with the spirit.

“Yeah, I heard she did it with a rainbow. It must have been so embarrassing for you.” She rolled her eyes at him.

“Worse, she shot it at me with a tiara.” The two started laughing again.

A thought crossed Twilight’s mind as the laughter subsided. They were just talking, like normal ponies. Well, Discord wasn’t a pony, but he wasn't being-.

“Discord, you're being… pleasant and not as… hyperactive.” Twilight stated after she was unable to put a hoof on his current behavior.

“I just haven’t laughed this much since the castle was mine.” He answered her.

Twilight smiled and nodded. She didn’t need to ask any more questions, she knew full well the power that laughter could have over some ponies. She settled back in bed and let the feeling of contentment and happiness sink into her.

Twilight’s mind drifted, but it back peddled a bit after she thought about what Discord just said.

She almost lost control when she realized that a gateway to all the unwritten history of Equestria was in bed with her. So much information at her hooves; that is, if she could get him to answer her questions.

“Discord, may I ask you a few questions?” She asked, looking up at him.  

Discord opened his eyes and gave her an annoyed look. He saw the anticipation in her eyes. Twilight wanted to ask about his past, thinking he had some kind of hidden history to divulge. Discord sneered and grinned at her as wheels spun wildly behind her eyes.

“Only if you solve my riddle.” He said to her.

Discord raised an eyebrow at Twilight as she clapped her hooves together.

“That sounds fun,” Twilight declared.

She wiggled her body deeper into her bed and pulled the blanket to her chest. She seemed to have grown oblivious to the fact that Discord spent the night in her bed.

So she wants to have fun. Let’s see how far you can go. Discord thought to himself. “Alright, I'm not deaf, but if you ask right I will answer left.”

After he gave Twilight the riddle; he mimicked her and slithered further under the blankets, making himself comfortable. Discord watched as Twilight’s brain worked its magic. He could almost see her unraveling the riddle.

Then her ears perked up.

“What is your name?” she asked with a smirk on her face.

“Drocsid.” He answered.

“Ha! I knew it!” Twilight exclaimed throwing a hoof into the air in triumph. “If I answer right you’ll answer left. So if ask left you will answer right,” She explained her understanding of the riddle. Twilight sat there for a few moments looking at her hooves. Slowly her ears dropped as she thought; then suddenly they perked right back up. “Os ohw tliub siht eltsac?”

“I built it.” Discord said as he jabbed a thumb into his chest. “Who else would have half of it hanging off a cliff?” Discord answered with an amused voice.

“Tahw saw ruoy elur ekil?” However, Twilight would not get her answer, as Celestia flew through Twilight’s balcony door.

What Celestia saw was precarious at best. Discord laid back with Twilight next to him. Both had happy and content looks on their faces.

“Oh! My apologies, I didn’t mean to interrupt you two.” Celestia said while frantically looking for a way out of the awkward situation.

Twilight tilted her head frowned at Celestia, then scarlet danced across her face as she understood what this might look like.

“No, no, no, it’s not what you think Celestia!” Twilight called out; her hoof stretched out to Celestia, her jaw just hung loose from her face as she lost control of it. A series of ‘ahs and ums oozed out of her open mouth. Her eyes widened and her pupils shrank as she tried to muster up a reasonable explanation. She herself didn’t understand why Discord decided to spend the night with her. A lost bed was not an answer.

Twilight turned to Discord with pleading eyes that were shifting from him to Celestia. He sighed as he understood that she wanted him to back her up.

He turned his attention to Celestia, looked her right in the eyes, and in a clear, calm, and sincere voice said.

“It’s exactly what you think.”

Twilight’s eyes became white voids. Her face seem to melt as she became petrified; even more inaudible sounds of disbelief escaped through her agape mouth.

“Twilight my dear, there is no reason to be embarrassed. You’re a young mare,” Celestia said. “Why, this is healthy of you.”

Twilight slowly turned to look at Celestia, her face still frozen in a state of horror.

“I’ll give you two some privacy.” Celestia said as she flew back out the balcony.

Twilight could do nothing but watch her leave.

As soon as Celestia was gone Discord snapped his fingers, turning the bed into a heart shape with red silk sheets.

“Come my princess,” Said Discord as he ran a claw down the side of Twilight’s face. “We don’t want to make liars of ourselves.”

As Discord spoke Twilight eyes became narrow, her mane started stand on its ends, and her teeth clenched down.





Fluttershy was enjoying her morning tea when her teapot started coughing and gagging.

“Oh my.” she said softly putting her hoof to her mouth.

She watched as the ceramic wear spit up a letter addressed to her. With a grimace on her face Fluttershy slowly picked up the letter and saw who it was from.

“Oh, look, Angel, it’s a letter from Discord.” She said to the grumpy bunny as she unfolded the parcel. The white rabbit just rolled his eyes at her as she read the letter.

“Oh, he would like a visit from me soon. It would be nice to see how Twilight is doing, wouldn’t it, Angel?”

Fluttershy slowly flew to the door and went outside to take in the morning air. In the distance the castle could be seen as a very faint shape on the horizon. Fluttershy stared at it with fond memories of one of her best friends.

She heard the peaceful chirping of the morning birds around her. a cool breeze flowed over the flowers and around her hooves; bringing her the scent of the fall season as her mane flowed with the moving air.

Her eyes followed a few leaves that blew by. The Running of the Leaves was not far from now.  As the breeze died down Fluttershy could hear the faint buzzing of some insects around the flowers. Fluttershy adored mornings. To her, the world seems to always wake up with such brightness.

Fluttershy's enjoyment of nature was interrupted by the sight of a large mushroom cloud of purple smoke that jettisoned from the castle. The strange sight was followed by an ominous clashing sound that reminded her of distant thunder.

Fluttershy became quite scared and started to rush inside to hide, but her sharp eyes caught something moving in the distance.

It seemed to be coming from the castle as it arched its way closer to her with tremendous speed. A high pitch whistling grew in volume as the object closed the distance between itself and Fluttershy.

When Fluttershy realized that it was going to land near her she jumped back into her cottage and slammed the door shut.

Hiding behind her couch, Fluttershy covered her head with her front legs as her whole body shook. A few whimpers escaped between her clenched teeth. The loud whistling could still be heard through her windows moments before the impact.

The moment it landed everything in Fluttershy’s home, including herself, jumped into the air; even the carpet under her couch levitated for a few moments before falling back into place.  

She was content to hide there the rest of her life until she heard a moan coming from outside her door. Fluttershy stopped shaking and looked over at her door.

Concerned that some poor animal may have been hurt by the impact, she poked her head out her door. She could see a long snake like figure dragging itself out of a small smoking crater in the ground. She perked up and forgot her fears when she recognized the creature’s silhouette through the smoke.

“Oh, Discord, how are you?” Fluttershy said as she flew to him. “I got your letter but I thought I was going to visit you. Luckily I have some tea ready, that is if you would like som-”

She stopped mid sentence when the smoke cleared and revealed that Discord’s long body was grotesquely bent at unnatural angles, a horn was broken off with both eyes blackened. His long fang was chipped with a crack branching its way up the tooth. Tiny little Twilights flew around his head.

“But mother, I don’t want to go to school.” Discord fell to his knees. “I want to stay home and bake cookies with you.” Discord fell over unconscious.  





After dragging Discord’s limp body into her cottage, Fluttershy was still a little red from straining herself as she fetched her medical supplies.

She was frantically zipping around inside her home in such a panic that she didn’t notice Discord slowing rising to his feet.

His body felt heavy and sore as he forced himself to get up. He desperately tried to get Fluttershy’s attention but she just would not stop moving. Finally, he gritted through the pain and yelled at her. “Fluttershy!”  

“I’m sorry, Discord, but not now. You’re unconscious and injured; I need to get you some help.” She came to a halt right above her couch. Hovering there with her forelegs full of first aid supplies, she looked at Discord carefully.

Discord magically made himself good as new, not even a patch of dirt from the impact. Still worried about him she forced him to sit down and rest. She brought him some tea and gave him another look over.

“Now, Discord,” Fluttershy said as she sat next to him, satisfied that he was ok. “Can you tell me what happened?”

“Oh, Fluttershy, it was horrible!” Discord said as he raised his eagle claw in a fake swoon. “There I was peacefully sleeping and Twilight attacked me.”

Fluttershy raised her hoof to her mouth with a look of shock. Discord gave her a whimper as she tried to comfort him.

“Oh my goodness! W-why did she attack you?” Fluttershy asked with concern.

“It was so mediocre, she honestly overreacted. You see I may have...” he took a deep, exaggerated, breath

“Snuck-into-her-bed-and-made-her-look-like-a-loose-mare-in-front-of-Celestia-then-came-on-to-her-as-a-joke.”

Fluttershy flew up to his level so that they were eye to eye. She crossed her front legs and gave him a stern look.

“Now, Discord, I know you like to play jokes.” Her voice took on its signature, ‘listen to mother’ voice. “But there is a line and that line is different with every pony. You need to learn what kind of jokes to play on your friends and what jokes not to.”

“Twilight is not my friend! You’re my only friend Fluttershy, remember?”

“You’re wrong, Discord.” Fluttershy expression softened as she spoke. “Twilight is my friend and a friend of a friend is a friend.” Discord just rolled his eyes at her. “It’s true, Discord. Twilight will do anything for me and she trusts me. I trust you and can call you my friend so Twilight also trusts you. She will help you out if you need it because I'm your friend. If this was not true, wouldn’t you still be in the garden?”

“Well if you ask me, that’s shallow.” Discord said in a huff.

“I am asking you, Discord. Wouldn’t you rather have a friendship with her because she sees what I see?” Fluttershy sipped her tea. She smiled as the warm liquid flowed down her throat and warmed her center.

Discord's stubborn expression softened a little as he rubbed the back of his head. Why would he care about Twilight’s friendship? He honestly found her to be an annoying little do-gooder and a know it all. He would have more fun making her a victim of his than sitting with her and having tea like he was with Fluttershy.

Well, he liked the game they started before Celestia interrupted them, which reminded him of the joke they shared on Spike’s behalf.

Looking down at Fluttershy, enjoying her tea, he realized that those were things she wouldn’t enjoy. Discord really couldn’t think of anyone else who would enjoy a game of wits with him, there was only Twilight with whom he could have that kind of fun.

“Once again Fluttershy, well played. I’ll attempt to be her friend. I will go to her and apologize. Maybe even take my position seriously to help her out. ”

“That’s great!” Fluttershy exclaimed as she clapped her hooves. “It would be nice to hang out with both of you when I come and visit."

"By the way, my dear, Spike told me you have a pecker," Discord said with a mischievous look in his eyes.

Fluttershy stared at him, blinking in confusion. Then she smiled when she understood what Discord was talking about.

"I do, he’s an older woodpecker that I take care of from time to time," she said. "The poor thing keeps getting injured because of his age. He's here right now, in my room, would you like to see him?"

"Yes I would love to see your pecker," he answered.

"Oh wonderful, come on I'll show you my pecker up stairs."

She started flapping up the steps when she heard Discord burst out laughing. Fluttershy was confused again, but then blushed when she realized what she just said.





Twilight’s doors opened to a mass of books floating its way into the room, with the owner right behind her new hoard.

“Wow Twilight... I mean Princess,” Spike said, waddling right behind her with a few more books. ”It’s been weeks since you were crowned and all you’ve done is study.”  

The young dragon was looking around for a place to set his share of the books, eventually he was content with letting them drop where he stood.

“You know Spike,” Twilight mimicked her assistant and let her books drop to the floor, “You don’t have to call me princess.”

“But Twilight, I think it’s cool that you’re a princess now,” He pointed his claw at her in a condemning manor, “and you should be happy about it too. You’ve been moping around the castle like this was the worst possible thing.”

“If you say so, Rarity,” Twilight teased.

Spike’s body stiffened up at her pun and giggled with her as the joke set in.

Twilight sighed as she marshaled through the books. “I really miss the girls.”

“So do I, Twilight.”

Soon after Twilight found herself with a new body and position, her life changed just as fast. Her new responsibilities would keep her in Canterlot, away from her friends.

It soon dawned on her that she could be drifting away from her friends as more and more as time goes by. It was unavoidable as each mare had to live their life and achieve their goals.

Her mood was no better after the realization that she would also long outlive her friends. It had saddened the young princess so much that she drowned herself in studies in order to ready herself to participate in daily court with the royal sisters.

Hardly anyone saw the princess outside of her trips to the library, replenishing her reading material. Soon there were more books in her room than in the royal library. Spike assumed it was another one of her overreactions, but he came to realize that this was not paranoia, it was cause and effect. The dragon assistant started joining her in her seclusion, slowly reconnecting her to the reality around her and helped her to move on.

From time to time, however, she remember that her time with her best friends was limited.

Most of the public was very happy to have a new princess in the kingdom, but for the leaders of Equestria it was political pandemonium. Twilight's antisocial behavior, prior to her living in Ponyvile, made her a mystery to most of the political leaders.  It didn’t help that she hid herself from the public almost immediately after her coronation.

“So,” Spike rubbed the back of his head, eager to change the subject, “Ya ready for court tomorrow?”

“I don’t think I'll ever be ready for that, but Celestia thinks I am and I won’t let her down. Ah ha! Here it is Spike.” She held up a grass yellow book with an earth pony silhouetted on the front.

“An Earth Pony’s Green Hoof,” she read aloud, “It’s a history of farming innovations,” she explained to Spike. “Farms and ranches are the base of our economy; it all comes down to food and our ability to grow it. I'll need to know as much as I can before tomorrow, Spike.” Without waiting for a response she dug right into the book.

She read into the evening. Long after Spike settled for a pile of books near the bed, as his basket had long since been lost in the jungle of tomes and scrolls. She didn’t realize how much time had passed until a knock at her door intruded her reading.

She trotted over to the door, happy for the distraction. “Hello,” she said cheerfully as she opened up to…Discord.

“Why hello, Twilight Princess,” he pushed his way through the door before she could object.

“I think you mean Princess Twilight.” She corrected with a hint of annoyance in her voice.

He didn’t respond; he just stood there looking around at all the books. They climbed the walls and fortified the windows, towers of them reached for the vaulted ceiling above and small piles mined the floor. Not a single tome was in any order. Discord was flabbergasted at the sheer number, and also wondering how the hay she got towers of them past her chandeliers.

He shook himself out of his mental stupor and turned to respond, “And how do you know what I meant? Are you Discord? Wait! What if I'm Princess Twilight?”

Discord suddenly twirled around and shrank down. His body instantly morphed into a carbon copy of Twilight. Only his eyes were the same.

“There we go, now you turn into me.” Twilight was a little disturbed that his voice didn’t change either.

Twilight let her shoulders slouch a little bit. “I don’t have time for your games Discord. I have a big day tomorrow and I only have three more books to read before I'm done.”

“What, these?” Suddenly three tomes were balancing on his new hoof.

When did he get those? Twilight thought.

“They're all about the same thing.” The spirit said as he juggled the tomes into the air, “Dear, there is chaos and there is just dumb, try to know the difference.”

“No, you’re the dumb one.” She smirked arrogantly, “They are about the same thing, only from different eras. They are- HEY!!”

Discord started smashing the books together turning them into an accordion.

“What are you doing?” she yelled with her hoof outstretched and her eyes wide with concern. “Stop that right now!”

Discord ignored her as he played a few notes and then handed the ‘accordion’ to her as one big book. She flipped it open and skimmed through it. Every page was different from the one before it; he had shuffled the pages of the books together as one.

Every time he’s around, my books suffer.

Twilight was still very cross with him from this morning.  Twilight could feel heat rising up from her belly to her chest as she slowly surrender to her anger.

“Out.” She practically whispered.

“Pardon?” Discord honestly didn’t hear her.

“I said out!” her voice reached a volume that Luna would have been proud of.

The guards slammed through the doors, spears drawn ready for anything; anything except for two Princess Twilight Sparkles. The guards didn’t know what else to do but point their spears at each one.

“Relax boys it’s just me.” The guards instantly recognized Discord’s voice. They relaxed their posture but kept their spears still pointed at Discord. Taking the hint from the guards, Discord made his way through the door.

“Hey wait! Fix the book!” Twilight yelled at him as he left.

“Sorry, I can’t hear you over you kicking me out.” He yelled as he made his way down the hall. The guards bowed and closed the doors as they backed out.

Twilight groaned and threw herself on her back. Lying there staring at the ceiling, she scooped up the book with her magic and prepared herself for a long night of sorting through the oversized tome.





Guards stood at perfect attention as Twilight made her way through the castle with her assistant in tow.

“Sorry about falling asleep on you again, Princess,” Spike said shamefully.

“Spike we’ve been over this, you're still a baby. I know you strive to do the best you can, but I rather have a well rested Spike than a burned out Spike.” She looked over her shoulder and gave him a loving smile, to which Spike soon returned.

“So, are you still worried?” he asked as they walked.

“About court? No. I think I'm ready for that. I am however worried about a discovery I made last night.”

“Really?” Spike sprinted up ahead of Twilight in order to see her face. “Well, what did you find?” he asked her.

“Well for the last 1500 years we have used the same farming techniques.”

“Well you know what they say.” Spike raised his finger in a matter of fact gesture. “If it’s not broke don’t fix it.”

“Actually, Spike, it’s not a good thing to just stick with what works.”

“Wait, it’s not?” Spike asked as the pair turn down a different hallway.

Ahead of them was the large doors to the Grand Hall where court was held every day.

“If we don’t change or try new things there is no progress,” Twilight said as she went on with her lecture. “It is very disconcerting to discover that our ways of farming have grown so stale."

“Funny thing is I wouldn’t have discovered it if it wasn’t for Discord smashing those books together”

“What are you talking about, Twilight?”

Twilight raised an eyebrow at Spike but then remembered that he was asleep when Discord visited her.

“I’ll tell you about it later, Spike,” she answered him as they approached the Grand Hall.

The door glowed with magic as they opened up.

“Princess Twilight Sparkle and her first assistant, Spike the Dragon.” A nameless announcer called out.

Before Twilight was the throne room, it was here that she had met up with her mentor so many times before. Only now a third seat was at the end of the long hall; with ponies from every corner of Equestria greeting her at the door. So many ponies were happy about the element of magic joining the royal family, however something as a big as a new princess is going to step on a few political hooves. Her first court was going to determine a lot about her rule.

Upon seeing all those faces as the doors opened, Twilight’s nerves broke. She was not unfamiliar to large crowds giving her attention, but never as a princess of the court. She should be walking down the hall to her throne to take her place next to Celestia. She should move with grace and prestige worthy of her title. But she just stood there wishing to hide herself. Her paranoia took a hold of her as a million possible outcomes flooded her mind and froze her body.

“Former ruler of Equestria,” the announcer started up suddenly. “Court advisor, and…a-and court jester, Lord Discord.”

Twilight’s eyes widened as she looked behind her and up at the last spirit she wanted to see.

“Twilight, are you ok?” Spike’s concerned voice hardly registered to the new princess. She just stared at Discord’s smug face.

“I didn’t know there was a line to the throne room, do you require some assistance, my princess?” Discord gave her a mock bow.

To his surprise she nodded, unable to move her mouth.

He raised an eyebrow at her but shrugged it off. Discord snapped his fingers and Twilight’s golden hoof shoes turned into roller-skates. The spirit smirked menacingly and gave her a push. All eyes followed her as she slowly rolled down the red carpet. Her body was still frozen as Discord walked behind her giving her a light touch every now and then as they…well, he walked and she rolled down, past all the ponies. Spike was waddling behind Discord with his claws over his mouth so not to laugh. Twilight’s shame grew as every inch went past her, she heard snickers here and there, she saw the faces of her subjects, some looked horrified and disgusted with either her or the spirit ‘assisting’ her, but what was worse was the silence. Hardly a noise could be heard as most of the court watched in silence.

Finally, after what felt like hours to Twilight, she came to the steps of the three thrones. Still frozen she only moved her eyes to look up at the other princess.

Luna wouldn’t look at her and Celestia looked like she was fighting off a fit of laughter.

At this point Twilight was screaming at her body to move, but it still would not listen.

“Thank you for joining us, Princess Twilight” Luna spoke up suddenly, “We see you have fallen victim to one of Lord Discord’s pranks. Why just last month he cast a spell that switched the clothes of any one that walked into the great hall. Sorry dear sister, but gold just isn’t our color.” A snort could be heard from Celesta as the laughter built up inside of her began to overflow.

Twilight felt a little lighter and a little bit more mobile.

“He froze you didn’t he?” Celestia asked Twilight.

“Well-“

Discord spoke up before she could answer. “It really doesn’t take much to immobilize you ponies.”

Twilight looked up at the spirit in bewilderment.

He didn’t freeze me, I lost my nerves.

“Lord Discord, as entertaining as this is, please allow the Princess to take her seat.” Celestia said.

The spirit snapped his fingers and Twilight found herself on her throne with the skates gone. Spike made his way to stand next to her. While Discord stood off to the side.

“We shall hear the first petitioner,” Luna announced.

One of the lunar guards had a list and pointed to a brown earth pony with a seedling cutie mark. The stallion made his way to face the three princesses.

“I have come here like my father before me to ask that the winter season be extended. Most farms are suffering more and more every year, because their fields just can’t recover enough nutrition during the winter months. It causes less than desired crops and sometimes none at all.”

“You are Top Soil’s son, Seedling?” Celestia asked. “How is your father?”

“Ill, your majesty, it’s why I'm here instead,” Seedling answered.

“I’m sorry to hear that Seedling, your father is a tenacious stallion he has come to us with this issue every year.”

“Yes, we have respect for your father.” Luna said, “But we have never been able with adhere to his wish. It would shorten the other seasons.”

“Furthermore,” Celestia added, “this will stretch the food reserves of many ponies. Inflation will ensue and both our economy and citizens will suffer.”

“But your grace,” Seedling pleaded, “each year the farmers have to buy or obtain more land in order to grow the same quality and amount of food that they grew last year. We will eventually have less viable food than mouths to feed them with.”

Twilight solely focused on the dilemma, and suddenly found her voice again.

“He’s right, Princesses, but it’s more dire than what he suggests. Most farms are a part of a community, and the encroachment of the land grabbing that they have to do could lead to a lot of problems all over Equestria. I found a history of small proxy wars that happened long ago. I noticed a pattern that drew a line and connected the wars to this issue. It might be a good idea to extend the winter season to maintain a balance.”

Seedling’s eyes seem to grow at Twilight’s input, unfortunately his joy was quickly shot down.

“The winter season has never changed and neither has our economy. Further our culture is past such pettiness that strife like that is hard to fathom in this day and age.” Princess Luna said in a flat voice, “Your concerns are noted, but unfounded.”

“Exactly!” Twilight seemed to have found more than just her voice. “Our economy has not changed much in a thousand years. Our climate can’t change; too much of Equestria is sensitive to the seasons. However, our population is growing but our economy is not. He is right, Princess Luna, something must be done or we will have fights over land and then food.”

Several moments of silence went by as all eyes were on Twilight.

“I think they’re waiting for your solution, princess” Discord yawned, still floating off to the side. Twilight nearly forgot about him, she was surprised that he had not caused a scene yet.

He must be dreadfully bored with all this. She thought.

“Yes, well, I’m sorry I don’t know a solution, but I agree. We must find a way to give more time to the soil’s recovery.”

The court seemed to erupt in murmurs and whispers at her response. Twilight was sure she was not leaving a great first impression on the court. The political fallout of her first court was looking grim indeed.

“Oh oh oh!” Discord was waving his talon hand in the air like a little school filly.

“Yes, Discord.” Twilight sighed.

“Why don’t they just not plant anything?” Discord smile like he said something clever.

“Is he even trying?” Luna whispered under her breath as her temple throbbed; Celestia was trying to cover her giggle at her sister’s frustration.

“Wait, that’s it!” For a second time, Twilight found all eyes on her, “If the farmers only plant crops on half of their land for the year and then switch the next year, the soil will have time to recover thoroughly. It would be rough the first year, but we have food reserves that we can distribute to offset the effect of the transition.”

“That’s...” Celestia spoke hesitantly as she tapped her chin, “Doable, we can do that, yes.” Her voice and demeanor perked up as she understood the concept more and more, “Great idea, Princess Twilight!”

“It wasn’t mine, it was Discord’s.” Twilight said.

“She’s right, Discord.” Celestia said with a smirk on her face, “The idea stemmed from you. Thank you very much; it’s a problem we have been pondered over for a long time.”

Celestia was milking this for everything it was worth. She knew that Discord’s nerves were grinding with every word of congratulation from her.

Discord said nothing but grumbled to himself, his arms crossed in defiance.

“Now that the issue has been resolved,” Luna spoke up hoping to move things forward, “we should bring on the next petitioner.”

A tan colored unicorn mare and stallion whose clothes and jewels dignified them as nobles stepped forth. The mare cleared her voice before speaking.

“I am Sandy Shores and my colleague here is Coconut Estate. We represent the victims of the changeling incursion into our lands. We have come to petition that our government does away with the looming threat past the barren lands to the south.” The mare spoke in an uppity voice that was screaming superiority. “As long as that filth exists, no-pony is safe; even in our own lands.”

To everyone's surprise it was Discord who answered.

“So you want to wipe them out?” he asked raising an eyebrow at her.

Twilight was taken back, she had never seen him so serious, even with Fluttershy; it was almost scary to her.

“If they no longer exist then we are safe from them, so yes, like any other pest, exterminate them.” The mare answered him.

Discord stopped hovering on the spot and stood. He seemed to glare at the mare. Soon Twilight was not the only pony who noticed the change in him; soon the whole court was watching him.

There was a soft expression of anger in his face. Twilight has never seen Discord express anger before. Annoyance and other negative emotions, yes, but not anger.

Luna turned to Celestia, “Yes, sister, we must find a way to protect our people, we might ju-“

“I move for a change of law, to prohibit any form of genocide by this government.” Discord said interrupting Luna.

Everyone in the room was astonished by the tone coming from Discord. He sounded like a proper lord of the court, like a leader or a politician, not what you would expect from the spirit of chaos.

“Lord Discord.” Luna started to speak, “there is a time and place to-“

“I second his request.” Twilight interrupted. “Discord is within his rights as a lord of this court and I have given him my backing. This will allow his request to be judged by the court at any time we are in session.”

“We are pleased to see our new members of this court are familiar with its rules bu-“

“I think I agree with them, sister.” Celestia said.

Luna temple began to throb again as she glared at her sister.

“What?!” Celestia asked innocently. “Everyone else was interrupting you.” Celestia gave her a pouting face. “I was starting to feel left out.”

Luna started grinding her teeth.

The two ponies that came to petition were getting nervous and impatient. The mare cleared her throat at the princesses. Luna turned her attention to the mare and was considering taking a page out of her sister’s book.

“Princess Twilight Sparkle is right.” Luna said to the mare. “The protection of our people must be attained without bloodshed. We are nation of peace so let it be known-” Luna turned to her sister as if to read her mind, then both of them raised their hooves in declaration and spoke in unison.

“Our government shall never seek the genocide or extinction of another species as a solution.”

“But your majesties.” Coconut Estate spoke for the first time. “You must defend your ponies. It is your duty; surely our lands would not miss the ugliness that the changelings bring to our country.”

Now Twilight grew angry.

“What you are requesting would make us far uglier than the changelings.” Twilight said to the stallion, “Your concerns about their looming threat are understandable, but we will be looking for an alternative solution. Your petition has been denied.”

The uppity mare spoke in an accusing manner. “Am I to understand that you are extending your protection to the Changelings?”

This was it. Twilight first political trap. The catch 22 question. She spent two weeks making sure she was ready for the games these politics played.

“No, I am protecting us from becoming monsters far worse than the changelings.” Twilight answered.

Before the mare could offer a rebuttal Luna called for the next petitioner. The rest of the session was just like the first two petitioners. Everyone seemed to get his or her best resolution from Twilight rather than Celestia or Luna. Despite the success that Twilight was having during her first court, she found herself distracted the whole time.

It was Discord. He was floating to the side, mostly looking bored. Twilight had never seen this side of him before. All she ever known about him was he was a monster that ruled Equestria before Celestia and Luna.  

Twilight also knows she can hardly stomach the sight of him. She found him repulsive; both in body and personality, but today he surprised her. His reaction to the changeling request made her more curious about him.

“Princess Twilight, what do you think?”

Twilight was looking at nothing in particular while she drowned in her thoughts.

Her head snapped up like a filly caught sleeping in class. She wasn’t even sure who asked that.

“T-think about what?” she said forgetting where she was.

“The lollipops!” cried Discord. “There is a shortage of them; a lot of candy stores are going to go under. There are just too many ponies licking them. We need to stop them from licking so many lollipops!”

Twilight placed a hoof on her chin and looked down as she thought. She opened her mouth but stopped…the room was empty.  

Twilight looked up at Luna and Celestia both of them smiling while trying to hold back their giggles.

“Sorry Twilight,” Spike said, still at her side.  “The court has ended and you kind of went blank there for a while.”

“Well princesses it has been boring as always. I'm sure you’ll drag me to another painful get-together so I'll disappear till I feel like it. Ta-ta.” Discord teleported away.

“Why do you keep him around, Princess Celestia?” Twilight asked as the three made their way out of the great hall. “He seems to undermine you and Luna more than anything.”

“Undermined us, Princess Twilight.” Celestia said. “You're not my student anymore, you are my equal. And I think Discord did well, considering it’s his first time.”

“Wait, you said he’s been to court before,” Twilight said as they turned the corner leaving the great hall.

“He never stayed around for the proceedings, mostly he would just remind us how ‘boring’ we are and fly off somewhere.”

Twilight was finding herself lost in thought again.

The first time he stayed was when I held my first court. Before that he lied to everyone to make me look better. He visited me the night before my first day as well…he’s been helping me in his own twisted way. Twilight stopped as she reached her conclusion. “What is he playing at?” She said out loud without realizing it.

	
> If You Shave A Pony Is It Naked?
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	Twilight struggled to remember when she first got into the shower as the hot water flowed over her body. After a few moments of the steamy liquid beating against her back, Twilight really didn’t care anymore. Her body was still getting used to the extra weight on her back from her new wings; which themselves were hurting from being used more and more often.

Twilight noticed that she couldn’t see beyond the steam of the shower. Every direction she looked she saw nothing but white emptiness. 

She felt a sponge start massaging the tension in her flank, undoing the knots in her body. An approving moan escaped her mouth causing Twilight to blush. 

She didn’t care who was doing this; as long as they didn’t stop.

“A service to my Princess,” A voice whispered in her ear.

Twilight recognized the voice to be Discord’s, but she found that it didn’t bother her.

He hit every sensitive spot on her body as he worked his way up to her wings. She could almost feel her muscles coming undone; causing another sound of approval to sneak past her lips.

As he past her wings to her shoulders, all her built up tension melted away. He found a spot on her upper shoulder that had been threatening her ability to roll out of bed in the morning.

He dug into that pressure point, opening a flood gate of pain and pleasure that washed into her spin and down her front legs.

She felt him press against her rear as he reached her neck; his tail rubbing up her leg; his body warmer than the hot water running down their bodies. 

His long body started to press against the rest of hers as his claws delicately made their way up her neck.

As the comforting weight and heat of his body climbed its way across hers; his claws went up her neck to her jaw line, gently forcing her to tilt her head back and look straight up. As her eyes adjusted she found that Discord had positioned his head right above hers. 

Scarlet filled Twilight’s face as he got closer and closer to her; his eyes sifting from her eyes to her lips.

The water suddenly and mercilessly became ice cold, causing Twilight to wake up with a jump.

Never thought a shower would make me feel so dirty. She thought to herself as a shiver ran through her body. 

Twilight started to get up out, the pain in her shoulders and back reminded her that it was a dream, but she stopped; she threw off her covers when she understood why her dream was so…wet.

Somebody thought it would be funny to put her hoof in a bowl of water; a juvenile prank that didn’t work. Unfortunately that didn’t keep the bowl from spilling and soaking her, and the bed, with it.

She got out of the bed to find a towel and discovered that her linen closet had been intentionally raided.

“Only one spirit has the spine to do this,” She said out loud.

Grumbling to herself, Twilight walked to the door to ask a guard for a towel so she could shower.

Irritated, she opened the door with more force than she intended; slamming it into somepony. 

“OUCH!”

Twilight poked her head around the door, a look of concern on her face; she found Discord holding his left eye. He had apparently been trying to look through the keyhole.

“Ow! My eye!” Discord said while covering the left side of his face. “What do you think the other officials are going to think about that?” He asked as he pointed to his eyeball still stuck in the keyhole "The abuse of your own advisor." A fake tear fell from his good eye.

The concern was gone from Twilight’s face, replaced with a glare.

“First, you’re an advisor to the court, not me. Second, I shot you across Equestria the other day. I'm pretty sure I can take any backlash from knocking you over with my door. Third,” she stomped her hoof in annoyance as she remembered why she was out in the hallway to begin with. “I woke up wet!”

Discord pulled his bruised eye out, spit on it, and then buffed it with his lion paw. He then put it back into his eye socket good as new.

“It happens to the best of us Princess; why, just the other day I woke up with a huge-“

“Discord!” Twilight yelled, her face flushed.

“I was going to say Charlie Horse,” Discord got closer and whispered. “What were you thinking?”

Twilight pushed his face away from hers. “No, no, no! I mean you got me wet.”

“I have that effect on mares. It’s the white fluff on my tail,” he tickled her nose with it. “It drives the mares crazy.”

“UGH!” Twilight yelled, throwing her hooves in the air.

“Well if you that frustrated I can get you a stallion or two, maybe,” he started tapping his chin. “Another mare?”

“No! You know what I want?” she took a step towards him; as steam blew out from her nostrils. “I want to put you back in the garden and let the birds poop on you!”

Discord raised an eyebrow at her. “You’re into some weird stuff Princess.”

”AHHHHHH!!!” she screamed.

Discord darted down the hall laughing as Twilight chased him.





A tour group was heading through the main entrance of the castle.  Most of the visitors were foals and their mothers.

“This will be the last tour before they change the décor to include our new Princess, Twilight Sparkle.” The tour guide said waving her hoof to the art and banners on the wall.

A filly raised her hoof. “Miss, what is Princess Twilight like?”

“I have actually met her before she was a Princess,” The tour guide said gleefully. “Why, I find her to be one of the nicest and loving mares I have met. She is so well spoken, gentle, and smart. She would never harm anyone, we are all very lucky to have her as our Princess.”

Suddenly Discord came flying through and did a 90° angle into the next hall. Twilight was not far behind him and tried to turn but ended up slamming into the wall, knocking over a several displays.

“BUUCK!” She yelled as she climbed back to her hooves and took off. “GET BACK HERE YOU PERVERTED BAG OF EXCREMENT! I’M GOING TO SKIN YOU ALIVE AND PUT YOU UPON MY WALL!”

A few moments of silence went by; then all the foals in the group started crying.





Discord was enjoying his little game of cat and mouse. He took a sharp turn again but found he made a mistake when the hall ended at a window balcony, causing him to stop.

“There you are!” Discord heard Twilight behind him. She was breathing heavily as she started taking large steps towards him, like a lion about to pounce.

“I’m,” step. “Going,” step. “To”, step. “Dissect you!”

Discord smiled and bowed to her. His tail opened the balcony window and flew out backwards, mocking her with a wave good bye. When he got far enough away he hovered on the spot and gave Twilight a triumphant smirk.

Twilight just stared at him like he was some fool and snapped her wings open.

“Oh, right,” Discord said to himself.

Twilight shot off from the balcony and hit her target dead center, causing both of them to fall into the garden below.

Discord landed on his back with Twilight on top of him.

“You put my hoof in a bowl of water to make me pee my bed!?” she yelled at him not bothering to climb off him. Twilight sat back and folded her front legs together, pinning Discord down.  “Do you have any idea just how annoying, frustrating, and…and,” she paused and smirked at him. “Lame that is?”

“Lame?!” Discord yelled as he tried to get up, but Twilight wouldn’t let him. He gave up and started auguring. “I'm never lame. I’m Discord. I can’t even spell the word.”

Twilight rolled her eyes at him. “Oh please, I'm best friends with Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash. Do you know how often I got pranked by them? A hoof in a bowl of water; what are you a school filly?”

“If it was so lame, then why were you chasing me?” Discord said as he poked her in the nose.

“I, I,” Twilight didn't want to admit what she dreamt about. “I don’t know. I was just angry with you.”

Discord started to get a victorious smile, but Twilight wasn’t going to let that happen.

“You’re still lame.” She told him with a deadpan look. “You got knocked out of the air by a little, pony, Princess. You’re lame, and I can’t let you get away with it.”

She got up and started walking towards him, his body still underneath her as she got closer and closer. Discord tried to back up but his body wouldn’t respond. Her face only an inch from his; he could feel her breath on his face.

She stopped just a fraction of an inch when her horn lit up and a daisy popped out of Discord head.

Twilight sat back down, once again pinning him down, and she giggled at her work.

“You look so pretty now.” She mocked him.

“A flower, really? And you thought my joke was lame.” He reached up and plucked the flower from his head; as soon as he did another one grew in its place. He plucked it again, and again, and again. Then he snapped his fingers and had the same results.

“Sorry, Discord, but that flower is not going anywhere until I say it does.” Twilight said with triumphant smile on her face.

“I’m very sure we gave each of you your own rooms.” A voice above them said.

They both looked up to find Celestia standing over them.

“I never knew you were so shameless, Twilight.” Celestia teased.

Her face red, Twilight jumped off Discord.

“P-Princess Celestia, I'm sorry we didn’t mean to cause a ruckus. I was-“

Celestia raised a hoof. “Princess Twilight, I'm not here for that; besides this is your home now, as much as its mine. If you want to chase Discord through the halls and then frolic in the garden that’s your right,” Celestia said with a grin on her face. 

Knowing that Celestia was teasing her now, Twilight just stared at her with flat face and narrow eyes. Discord, however, wanted to add his own flare. 

“Princess?” Twilight rolled her eyes over to Discord. She raised an eyebrow and took a step back.

Discord had a white dress on with a braided pigtail wig. He was still on the ground laying on his side; he brought his knees to his chest and brought his claws close to his cheeks.

“Be gentle.” He said with a blush. 

“Bleh!” Twilight went pale while her face contorted into an indescribable look of disgust.

Celestia giggled at Twilight’s discomfort.

“Princess Twilight, I did seek you out for a reason.”

Twilight recovered from the shock discord gave her and turned towards Celestia.

“I wanted to let you know personally that the ambassadors of the zebra and the griffins would like to have a meeting with you. I set aside the conference room next to the grand hall for you. They want to meet this evening.”

“Meeting? With ambassadors, of other countries?” Twilight flattened her ears to her head with a nervous look on her face. “I can’t do that yet, I just had my first court. What if I mess up and they don’t like me?” Beads of sweat started running down her face. “What if I insult them and our treaties are broken?  What if I start a war? What if they take me as a political prisoner?”

“What if you show up to the wrong room?” Discord added. “What if the griffin is hungry and you’re the only thing he can eat? What if-“

“Discord!” Celestia yelled, pointing at Twilight.

Discord followed her hoof and saw the state that Twilight was in. A crazy smile was on her face as her eye started twitching.  

Normally Discord would feel accomplished when he broke a pony like this, but this time a little bit of him didn’t feel right; though only a little.

“I could always attack first, hehehe” she said to no one with her head tilted to the side, her eyes wider than what should be physically impossible.

“Twilight, what do you normally do to get ready?” Celestia asked in a concerned voice.

Twilight’s expression suddenly switched back to normal with only a few strands of her mane out of place.

“I study, Princess.” she answered her.

“Well then you know what to do until this evening don't you?” Celestia gave her a motherly smile. “We can handle court today. This meeting is far more important.”

Discord started to stand up when he noticed that his coat was damp, after a moment he realized that Twilight got him wet and was partially soaked from the bowl.

“Twilight we should shower.” Discord said out loud, talking more to himself than anything.

Twilight went wide eye and blushed.

“Buck no!” She yelled and teleported away leaving the spirit of chaos confused for the first time.

“Discord?” Celestia spoke up.

Discord shook his head of the confusion and gave her his attention.

“I want you to write to the girls again, specifically Rainbow Dash.”

“Why should I?” he said giving her a stubborn look. “And what about?

“Talk to her about what Twilight is doing today and what you should do about it.”

He rolled his eyes at her.

Celestia started to walk away, but looked back. “Nice flower.”

He ripped the daisy from his head, another grew back.





Rainbow Dash was once again napping away the afternoon in her cloud home when her alarm went off. She rolled over to turn it off; mumbling to herself about not setting an alarm in the first place. She hit her alarm clock multiple times but the ringing wouldn’t stop. Rainbow dash forced her eyes open and found that her alarm was not going off. Instead a folded paper next to it was the ruckus. The odd scene woke her up completely. Rainbow Dash was thankful that the ringing stopped after she picked up the letter.

Without bothering to see who it was from, she unfolded the letter. As soon as she did Discord head popped out and was eye to eye with her, his trademark smile on his face.


Rainbow Dashed yelped and dropped the letter out of surprise; as it fell the rest of Discord came out of the letter.

“I was sleeping, ya jerk!” she yelled at him. “Wait, did you mail yourself? And what’s with the flower on your head?”

Discord smiled and silently picked up the letter and handed it to her. Reluctantly, she read it as he floated around in circles above her.



Dear over the top, insecure pony,
I have been given the horrid task of writing you; task fulfilled.
Thank you,
The most handsome spirit that has graced your eyes, Discord.



“Really, that’s the best you can do?” Dash asked with an annoyed look on her face. “Your last letter was waay funnier.”

“I quickly got bored with writing you, so I decided to pop in instead.”

“Gee, thanks.” Dash said in a flat voice. “Now get out of here!

“But the Princess wants me to talk to you, surely the element of loyalty will indulge her Princess?” He mocked her as he rubbed his claws together.

“Fine,” she said in a defeated voice.

“I don’t like this anymore than you, but I rather not be a bird toilet again.” He joked.

Rainbow Dash expression soften a little. Discord went on to tell her about this morning and the meeting. He did add that Fluttershy convinced him to try and make Twilight a true friend. 

“Ok, that prank was lame.” Dash then flicked the daisy on Discord. “That flower on your head is funnier than what you did to Twilight.”

Discord sighed “So I’ve been told. It just means I have to get her good next time. You can even help.”

“Sure,” She shrugged. “I understand why the Princess sent you to me what with me being naturally talented and stuff.” Dash puffed her chest and wings out. “When it comes to your friends you should stick to your guns. Be 100% behind your friends no matter what!”

“Does it ever rain in here?” Discord asked as if he wasn’t listening. Dash followed his gaze to her ceiling.

“Wait! You can’t just-“

Discord snapped his talon hand and the ceiling started raining. Luckily Rainbow Dash’s house is a cloud so the rain just got absorbed back into the structure. That didn’t keep Dash from getting soaked; causing Discord to burst into laughter.

“You know you started something that’s not going to stop, right?” Dash threatened.





Twilight had taken Celestia advice and picked up everything she could on the griffins and zebras. 

Picking up a new collection of book after a crew of cleaning mares had just returned all her others made a few of the staff more than upset. 

With all the books gone the design of her room could be seen. 

Her quarters was oval in shape. She had insisted on simplicity, but the room dotted with things that reflected the intelligence Twilight possessed; scales, models, rare books and spells, plus the telescope on the balcony. The decor that tastefully lined her wall was old diagrams whose age and style made them look like works of art. 

Four doors and a balcony lined her room, at least to the ignorant. Along the wall, between the closet door and the balcony was a hidden door for her protection.

A few geo samples and scrolls sat on a mahogany desk that was positioned next to her balcony entrance. 

Twilight had to fend off Spike from eating her samples on more than one occasions. 

Her bed was nearly three times the size it was back in Ponyville. As conservative as Twilight can be, she was so happy about the size that she squealed like a teenage filly when she saw it. The bed had blue covers and an exaggerated canopy. Along with more pillows then one needed; most of them were on the floor where Twilight preferred to read. 

Her room had a large walk in closet with many formal and traditional wear inside it. Tucked deep inside the closet was a small vault for her jewelry. 

Most of the time she went days without wear a single piece, not even her tiara; Luna had many fits over what she called a lazy habit. 

Her bathroom was right next to her bed for convenience. There was both a tub and a rather large walk in shower with two shower heads. 

The linen closet was outside the bath room. Twilight assumed that it was that way so that the cleaning mare would not have to interrupt anything. 

Lying in the middle of her room, she had gone through 4 books when she heard a knock at her door. 

“Spike, is that you?” Twilight had not seen her dear friend all day.

No answer.

Curious, Twilight made her way to the door. 

As she opened the door to Discord a sense of déjà vu and annoyance washed over her.

“My Princess!” he exclaimed throwing his arms in the air.

Twilight was not amused and wore her irritation on her face like a mask.

“Your Princess is in another castle,” she said sarcastically as she tried to close the door on him. 

Discord, however, casually placed his lions paw on the door. “Come now Princess, don’t be like that.” 

A pair of spears suddenly bared his way. Twilight’s guards went into action the moment Discord became uninvited. 

Twilight sighed. “Its fine boys; he’s a pest not a threat.” 

Discord let himself in and closed the door behind him. 

Twilight, partially ignoring his presence, walked back to her pile of books. After lying down on her belly, she resumed her studies where she left off, but kept on glancing at Discord expecting him to do something.

He just stood there rocking back and forth on his heels, his claws behind his back.

Despite him being quiet and still for once, it annoyed her even more. 

“What do you want Discord?” she asked as her temple throbbed.

“What do I want?” he placed his claws over his chest, as if Twilight insulted him. “I’m here for you.” He walked up to her as he spoke. “I’ve come to lend you my paw.” He ripped his lion paw off his wrist and tried to hand it to her. 

Used to his antics, Twilight lowered her eye lids at the paw and then gave Discord the same blank stare.

“What?!” Discord asked in reaction. “It makes a great back scratcher.” He said as he demonstrated digging into his back with the severed paw.

“Discord please,” Twilight said in a defeated voice.” I have a lot to work on.” She turned back to her book trying to ignore him again. “You may not care about this land but I do, please leave.”

A hint of anger glimpsed Discord’s face before he reattached his paw. “Fine, I tried.” 

Without another sound he flew out her balcony. 

Twilight was so deep into her book she was unsure of how much time went by before Spike came into their shared room.

“Hey, Twilight.” Spike stopped when he saw the new pile of books in the room. “Whatcha working on now?” he asked, rather surprised that she was back to studying. 

Twilight was happy for a break. She started explaining as she got up and stretched her legs, allowing the blood to flow freely. Twilight also informed Spike about Discord interrupting her. 

“Ok, but why did you kick him out?” Spike’s inquiry surprised Twilight.

“What do you mean, Spike?”

“Well yesterday you tried to hunt him down after court but we never found him.” Spike gave her a shrug.  “Wasn’t that your chance to talk to him?”

“I didn’t think about it,” Twilight answered honestly. “However, I have more important things to do.” As she answered him she returned to her lying position with a book in front of her.

“Fair enough, but you sure he wasn’t really trying to help? I mean he did rule Equestria for a long time.”

Twilight’s eyes widen when she realized he was right. Discord was trying to help but she had allowed her own animosity to cloud her mind. As the wheels in her mind kept spinning she believed that Spike was onto something.

Discord could do anything he wanted. He didn’t need to rule over the land to enforce his power. He did care for Equestria, in his own twisted way.

“He ruled, he cared,” Twilight said to herself as she got up.

“What was that?” Spike asked not sure what was happening. 

“Do you know where Discord’s room is?” Twilight asked him.

“I'm not sure.” Spike said as he rubbed the back of his neck. 

Twilight poked her head out the door and asked the guards to escort her to Discord’s room. To Twilight surprise it was right in front of hers. 

She gave them a sheepish smile as she crossed the hall and knocked on the door.

There was no answer, but Twilight was not dissuaded. She opened the door, stepped through…and started to fall. 

She nearly forgot about her wings and spread them just in time to break her fall. When she got her bearings straight she found an almost foreign world around her. 

Rolling hills of polka dots, strips, and other random patterns etched out the land as far as she could see. 

When she looked back at the door she saw that it hung randomly in the sky. Like a portal back to her world.

“He’s created his own universe in here!” Twilight shouted as she flew through the sky.

Twilight had no idea how she was going to find Discord in all this…chaos. 

Every where she looked something peculiar caught her eye.

Flowers that were blowing bubbles, a tree growing feathers instead of leafs, an animated parchment of paper chasing a rock, a pair of boulders doing the tango, and a heard of beds with legs stampeding across the plane. 

Twilight nearly had enough of this and was about to turn around when she noticed somepony chasing the beds. 

She decided to investigate; as Twilight got closer her curiosity paid off. She could just make out Discord riding a broom while 
swinging a lasso in the air. 

“Discord!”

He could barely hear his name over the wind that rushed past him.

“Discord!”

It was getting louder.

“Disco!”

Discord started to look around. He soon noticed the purple dot coming right at him. He slowed down, pulling on a strap he nailed into the broom; allowing Twilight to catch up to him. 

“Hello Princess,” Discord said, this time it was his turn to be annoyed. He watched as the heard of beds started to pull ahead and out of his lassos’ range. 

“Thanks,” he said looking up at Twilight as she flew above him. “I lost my bed again.”

“You can just sleep in mine again,” Twilight said giving him a smile.

Discord pulled on the strap again; forcing the broom and Twilight to stop. 

Twilight had a feeling she was about to regret her little joke. 

“Yay!” Discord clapped his claws together. “Sleep over!” Discord pounced off the broom and tackled Twilight. 

He hugged her, squeezed her, and thrashed her around like she was a stuffed animal. Twilight gritted her teeth together and blushed as she was thrown around like a rag doll.

“We can braid each other’s mane, and tell scary stories and eat popcorn and paint our hoov-“ Discord stopped long enough to look at his talon claw. “Claws and play spin the bottle.”


Twilight finally got one of her hooves free and started to push and pull her way out of his grip.

“Personal space,” she grunted through clenched teeth. 

Finally she snapped herself free like a rubber band, flinging herself across the ground. 

Discord flew up to her and encircled her like a boa about to eat. 

“Personal space is a waste of space.” He said as he pushed his face into hers.

“Discord I just wanted to talk,” She said as she pushed his face from hers for umpteenth time.

“Oh, now you want to talk to Discord?” Discord’s eyes widen as an idea came across his brain. “Wait, why didn’t you knock? You can’t just waltz into someone’s room.”  

Twilight looked over him in the direction of the door, which was a distant dot on the horizon. 

“Something tells me that you wouldn’t have heard me.” She said in a dry voice. “Look I’m sorry I blew you off.” Twilight let her ears drop as she apologized to the spirit. “I actually wanted to talk to you since yesterday. Why…why are you trying to help me?” 

She tilted her head up to look Discord in the eye

Discord stared right back at her. Remembering his conversation with Fluttershy; ‘come on, say it’ he imagined her there, egging him on like she sometimes dose.

“Um…” Discord rubbed the back of his neck. “What else are…friends for?” 

Twilight giggled a little bit. “I think me and you would make great friends.”

“Oh, really?” Discord asked with a little anger in his voice.

“Absolutely,” Twilight said without hesitation. “When it comes to friendships we’re very similar. I only started having friends two years ago and you just started 6 months ago. We both spent most of our lives doing what we want not caring about friendship or what other ponies thought about us.” 

Discord found himself speechless, a foreign sensation to him.

“I was very awkward at the beginning,” she went on. “Just like you. So, yes, I really do think we would be great friends.”

A few uncomfortable moments went by between the two before Twilight broke the silence. 

“Well I still have a lot of work to do I’ll, um, I’ll talk to you later.” She waived at him as she flew off and left the strange world behind.





After an eventful day, Twilight was looking forward to the meeting with the ambassadors. Once she got control of her paranoia, that is.

Her guards opened the door and escorted her into a room that she had never been in before. The conference room sported architect and decorations that reflected the grand history and society of Equestria; much like the grand hall does. In the middle was an exaggerated table where she found the zebra and griffin ambassadors seated.

“Ah so we finally get to meet Princess Twilight Sparkle.” The zebra spoke as he bowed respectfully. His voice was deep and smooth, yet it also sounded playful. His voice reminded her of chocolate and she could make out the same accent that Zecora has.

“Hello ambassadors, I hope the castle has been accommodating.” Twilight said with a smile as she joined the table

“It is nice here comrade, soft, but nice,” the griffin ambassador said, he also had an accent, one the northern griffins had. “I am Lazar Kaganovich, it means Iron Bird in your tongue. Me and my stripped friend are happy you agreed to meet with us.”

“It’s my striped friend and I, Lazar,” the zebra corrected. “Forgive Lazar, your foals speak your language better than him,” he gave Twilight a playful smile. “I am Jabari ambassador of the zebras.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet both of you. Let’s begin.” Twilight gave them another smile to let them know that she was listening.

“We’ll after your first court we wanted to speak with you,” Jabari started off.
Twilight gave them a nervous laugh as she remembered it herself.
“Yes we find you very,” Lazar twirled his talon in the air as he tried to think of the right word to use. “Brave.”
Twilight looked at Jabari hoping he would know what he meant by that. Luckily he did.
“He’s trying to say you’re willing to make changes. More was accomplished yesterday then in my whole career here in these lands,” he said to her.
“Oh?” Twilight said, a little surprised.
“We wanted to warn you,” Lazar said, his smile conflicted with his verbiage.
“Include, Lazar, not warn,” Jabari corrected him.
“Include me in what?” Twilight had a bad feeling about this.
Jabari put his hoofs together, tapping the edge of his lips; a grim look in his eyes. “Our government has decided to deal with the changeling threat in the simplest way.”
“We will destroy them all,” Lazar said bluntly, his accent sent shivers down Twilight’s back.
“Wait, we agreed an alternative solution should be found.” Twilight became very scared of where this was going.
“Your government agreed, ours did not,” Lazar told her.
“If the griffins allied with the zebras a war could be won with little loss,” Jabari added. “Please understand Princess. Their hive is on our northern border.”
“And in our mountains,” Lazar cut in.
“Every day we read reports of families finding out their loved ones were monsters, parasites,” Jabari continued. “They are not scared to invade our lands like they are of yours. Our people cannot wait for an alternative solution to present itself.”
Twilight became horrified as she lost control of the meeting. As her panic set in, she started looking around like the answer was in the room somewhere. The two ambassadors were waiting for a response—Like vultures waiting for an animal to die.
Suddenly the bright room became dim and ominous. Twilight and the other two started looking around wondering what was causing the shift in the room.
“Hello ambassadors,” a disembodied voice said from nowhere and everywhere.
Twilight saw Discord’s body fly through the windows, like he did when they first met. The ambassadors, however, had their backs to him.
“Forgive the intrusion, but the stink of hypocrisy was hard to ignore. During my rule and even after, griffins would snatch ponies right off the ground for dinner. All of Equestria feared the monster birds from the mountains.”
Discord’s theatrics were making the ambassadors nervous, but Twilight had seen this trick before. She should be mad at him for showing up uninvited; instead she felt more confident than she had when the meeting started.
Discord came out of the windows. Only now he was far larger and more snake like than before, his feature have taken a more animalistic look than that of the goofy face Twilight was used to. His altered form reminded her of the eastern dragons she read about. 
Discord encircled the table with his long body before he sat next to Twilight. He rests his claws on the table digging into the wood. He leaned forward towards the two, his head nearly the size of their bodies, and bared his teeth. 
With fangs in front of them, an oversized body behind them, the ambassadors were trapped.
At this point the ambassadors weren’t nervous anymore; they were pissing themselves.
Twilight had enough and was about to kick him out, but then an extra head poked itself out of the neck of the oversized Discord; only it was the Discord Twilight was used to. The head smiled at her and wink before being sucked back into the neck.
Twilight understood and decided to let him stay.
Now she knew what this meeting was really about; how well Princess Twilight Sparkle could be pushed around. With Discord at her side, her confidence swelled.
“P-p-Princess c-call him off, please! Jabari cried out.
“No. I rather like him where he is.” She said with a smirk.
Jabari finally was able to take his eyes off of Discord and look at the Princess. She was standing, her wings open and her head held high.  He couldn’t read her face any more. It was just a flat emotionless face; and she was much larger then she was before, she didn’t grow in size but Jabari now felt smaller in front of her.
This is not the Princess that walked in here a few moments ago, Jabari thought to himself.
Princess Twilight scared him now more than Discord.
“Lord Discord is right; the griffins use to be the monsters feared in these lands. I once read that, in the early years of Celestia’s rule, there was a horrific war that ended in the treaty that our two lands live by to this day. After that it was the zebras over cultural differences. Now it’s the changelings. Each time was the same; war or conflict then we learned about one another and then an alliance. We plan to skip all the death and destruction and go right to the peace part."
“They don’t want peace!” Lazar yelled.
Discord growled at him.
“Neither did your people,” Discord said, the size of his voice matched the rest of him. “Something about ‘ponies are just food’; your own king at the time said that.”
“Now we are the prey of the changelings,” Twilight added. “It’s now obvious to me what we have to do.” Twilight paused and looked the ambassadors in the eyes. “We need to broker an alliance with them as we have with each other.”
Lazar suddenly stood up. “But our armies are already on the move.”
“Then stop them,” Twilight said, her voice rose just a bit as she spoke. “If they attack the changeling while we are negotiating a truce, it will harm our own alliance.”
“Threats, Princess?” Lazar retorted.
“No,” she said defiantly. “It’s in our treaties. We agreed not to interfere with diplomatic relationships outside of our own. Therefore, if your government attacks the changelings while we are negotiating peace, you will break our treaties.”
“I however,” boomed Discord. “Will turn you into a fish and feed you to your children, if you fail the Princess. Same for you, Jabari, I'm not sure what zebras eat, but I'll find out. That was a threat.”
“Do we have an understanding?” Twilight asked.
The two nodded.
Suddenly Discord retracted his body to his head, like rope on a pulley. With a loud pop his body was back to normal and so was the room. He smiled and waved at the ambassadors.
“I believe you two have work to do. Have a wonderful day.” Twilight said before she and Discord left the room. Right before Discord shut the door he blew a raspberry at them.
Lazar turned to Jabari and said, “Did Lord Discord have a flower growing out of his head?”
“Thank you Discord,” Twilight uttered softly, once they were in the hallway. “I studied the history of griffins, thinking it would be useful, but I don’t think I would have thought to use it that way if you hadn’t shown up.” She gave him a warm smile.
“I know, I’m a saint.” Discord responded making a halo appear above his head while attempting to look innocent.
“Well I wouldn’t go that far, but thank you,” she started to walk away but Discord followed her.
“You're smart. Well... at least you claim to be. What do zebras like to eat?” Discord asked Twilight.
“Well my friend Zecora likes cupcakes.” She answered ignoring his back-handed compliment.
“Then I shall turn him into a cupcake with black and white frostings.” He joked.
Discord randomly started doing a backstroke in the air to keep up with Twilight. She raised an eyebrow at him but decided to ignore his antics.
“You should tell Pinkie Pie that joke,” she said wanting to keep the conversation going. “She may find turning a zebra into a cupcake amusing.”
“Yeah, she would get a kick out of that.” He mused.






Suddenly Pinkie Pie dropped her bowl of batter mix and looked like she was about to cry.
“Pinkie, are you ok dear?” Mr. Cake asked her out of concern.
“I just felt so many ponies cringe over a cupcake. Cupcakes shouldn’t make you sad, cupcakes are happy.” She looked up at Mr. Cake, eyes filled with tears. “Cupcakes are happy.”
Mr. Cake looked alarmed and confused. “Pinkie, did you take your meds this morning?”
	
	
	
	
> Chapter あなたは、だまさ！
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


The fall sunrise raised over Ponyville; the morning fog rushed over the land as the sunlight warmed the charming little town. 
Rainbow Dash was already deep into her morning routine. It was her job to clear the mist from the ground, and just as she was pushing around some clouds Twilight teleported on top of the white fluff.
“Whoa!” Dash yelled as she nearly fell out of the sky. “Oh, hey Twi, I mean, princess. What’s up?” she said as soon as she recovered from the shock.
“Rainbow Dash we’re still the best of friends.” Twilight gave Dash a hurt expression. “Call me Twi like you always do.” Her expression morphed into a nostalgic smile. “In fact, call me anything you want.”
“You got it, Egghead!” Dash teased.
Twilight glared at her; Dash just returned with a cocky smile.
“That’s Princess Egghead to you!” She teased back.
The two mares started giggling.
“So why has Princess Egghead graced me with her presence today?” Dash asked as she started fly around her.
“Discord has been playing a few pranks on me” Twilight started to explain. “And this morning I woke up before he did, so now is my chance to get him back. You’re the best mare for the job; so, what do you say, Rainbow Dash, want to prank the spirit of chaos?”
“Aw heck yeah! Wait,” Dash landed on a cloud of her own and stared at Twilight for a few seconds.
“Wait, how do you know you woke up before he did?” Dash asked, squinting sideways at Twilight.
“Well.” Twilight looked away from Dash in order to hide her blush. “He’s spent the night in my bed.”
Dash had a blank stare on her face that would rival a goat.
“W-what?” her question seemed to almost fight its way out of her mouth.
“It’s not what you think,” she reassured her. “He just didn’t have a bed to sleep in.”
“How?”
I’m still wondering that myself.
Twilight sighed when she realized that she only had one explanation.
“He lost his bed.” She said in a flat voice as she hung her head in defeat.
“How’d he lose his bed?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.
“He gave it le- never mind that!” Twilight shook her head. “It doesn’t matter; its time for payback and I want to get him good, but I’ve never played a prank before. I read a book about it and it warned me that my first one is the most important because it can spark a,” Twilight used her wings to make the quote gesture.  “‘Prank war’.”
“So let me get this straight.” Dash lied down on her belly, letting one of her hoofs to drape over the clouds edge. “You’re telling me that you found an instruction book for pranking?”
Twilight slapped her face with her hoof and groaned.
“I’m just hoping you can help me out. I’m a little out of my element here. Do you have any ideas?”
Dash’s eyes moved to the cloud that Twilight was standing on. A sly and mischievous smile grew on her face.
“Absolutely.”



“Can’t believe you let him sleep in your bed last night,” Dash commented as she and Twilight pushed a cloud down towards the castle.
“Yea,” Twilight sighed. “it was because I made him loose his bed.”
“I thought he lost his bed because he gave it legs.”
“He did but I made him loose it again.” Twilight used her magic to open her balcony doors. 
Dash was starting to feel like she was talking to Pinkie Pie.
“Ookaay, I don’t know what’s creepier; him sneaking into your bed or you letting him sleep there a second time.”
Both mares hopped onto the cloud and slowly floated into the room. The mares lay down on the cloud, as if to hide behind it.
Slowly they floated over to Twilight’s bed. Sticking in and out of the bed covers was Discord. His long body taking up every inch of the bed that he could. Drool oozed from his mouth; the flower still growing from his head.
“Ready?” Dash asked Twilight with an evil smirk on her face.
“Ready.” she answered with the same look on her face. Both mares raised their hoofs and slammed them down on the cloud.
Thunder and lightning filled up the room as Discord sat straight up in bed, his hair on end and his eyes more uneven than ever before.
Two guards slammed through the doors with their spears drawn. They saw their charge and another mare laughing on top of a cloud with Discord looking disheveled and annoyed. They looked at each other and calmly closed the door.
“I have bucked open more doors in the last couple of days than in my entire career.” One of them said the other nodded in agreement.  
Back in the room the girls started to calm down.
“Now, that was a prank, Discord,” Dash mocked as she jabbed a hoof at him. “Not some lame bowl of water.”
“Hic,” Discord belched out.
“Oh my Celestia,” Rainbow Dash started laughing again. “Did we give him the hiccups?” she rolled on her back laughing even harder.
“Hic,” The bed became round and had polka-dots.
“Hic,” Discord grew an afro.
“Hic,” all the books in the room started flapping through the air like birds
“Ah-man! No way!” Tears seem to jump from Dashes’ eyes as she laughed. Twilight was holding her ribs as more and more random things happened around her.
“Hic,” A bath tub with Celestia in it appeared next to the bed. A glass of champagne and a brush were floating in mid air. Her look of shock and confusion quickly turned into a blush.
“What is the meaning of this!” she cried out, struggling not to let her voice break under the embarrassment.
Discord opened his mouth, but the only thing that came out was another hiccup.
A boulder appeared above Celestia; she screamed and jumped out of the way as it shattered her porcelain tub.
Celestia looked at what was left of her bathtub and then looked at Discord; she still had a look of bewilderment but also of understanding.
The pranksters were still on the cloud desperately trying to breathe. Dash got enough control to ask Twilight if that was ‘Tom’ that just took out Celestia’s tub.
“Hic.” This time, nothing.
“Aww,” Pouted Celestia. “It was starting to be like Christmas in here.”
The laughter in the room died down, but then movement could be seen under the blankets right before Luna popped out from underneath. Her disheveled mane and tired eyes told everyone that she was still asleep a moment ago.
She looked at Discord, whom was in bed with her; assuming the worst, her temple began to throb. Discord opened his mouth, but again only a hiccup came out. This time rose petals started falling on top of the bed. After looking around, Luna bared her teeth and growled at the spirit, like a dog about to strike.
Memories of being thrown across Equestria made Discord a little desperate to get out of the precarious position he was in.  
Discord raised his paw up to get Luna to stop her advancement. He then grabbed his head with both claws and quickly snaps his own neck falling over instantly.
Luna had a look of horror as she frantically tried to get out of the bed. The sheets and silk covers wrapped themselves around her legs; causing her to look like she was running in place for a few moments.
After a good scream she flew out the balcony window.
The remaining mares, knowing full well that Discord was fine, were losing control of their bodies as their laughter intensified.
Discord got up and snapped his neck back into place.
“Ok, no more of this,” Discord said as he snapped his talon. All the damage and the random animated objects disappeared, along with his hiccups. Twilight and the others soon caught up with their breathing.
“I have not laughed this hard in a thousand years,” Celestia exclaimed. “Thank you, Discord."
She started to head out the balcony after her sister but stopped right before she took off. “Twilight, I'm starting to understand what you see in him.”
“Thanks…wait what?” Unfortunately her response went unnoticed as Celestia flew out the balcony.
“Man that worked out better than I expected.” Dash said wiping a tear from her eye.
“I must admit,” Discord said in a dramatic voice. “That you two have bested me. However,” an evil smirk crossed his face. “That doesn’t mean you have won.” He snapped his talon again. The two mares braced themselves for whatever he had planned.
Nothing happened.
“What were you trying to do?” Twilight asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Probably something lame again,” Dash said pointing her hoof at Discord, only she couldn’t move her hoof.
“What the?” she yelled once she realized that her whole body was sticking to the cloud. Twilight was also struggling to move.
“This isn’t a cloud anymore,” Twilight observed. “Its-" she licked the ‘cloud’ “a marshmallow!”
“Have fun,” he laughed as he flew out the balcony.
“Oh no! My wings! It’s in my wings!” cried Dash as she tried to force herself out of the marshmallow cloud, only the more the two struggled the more they got stuck.
They pulled, they twisted, Twilight even used magic, but they just got more and more tangled up in the sticky glob.
Outside the guards could hear the grunting and moaning as their voices began to rise out of frustration.
“I can’t believe how hard it is.” They heard echo from the room.
“Ouch! Not so rough, be gentler.”
The guards couldn’t tell who was talking.
“Like this?”
“Wait, lick it again.”
“Hey that worked.”
“Eat it, eat it! Yes! Oh, that’s so much better!”
The guards started to blush.
“I’m getting loose!”
“Yes, yes keep it up I'm almost there!”
“It tastes funny.”
“No! Don’t stop! I'm almost there, use your horn again.”
“Like this?”
“Oh, yes, right there! Harder, harder!”
One of the guards nearly fell over.
“Want to get an early lunch?” one guard said to the other.
“Oh buck yes!” he nearly shouted in response.
The two quickly trotted off.
Coming from the other direction; Spike was waddling his way to ask Twilight why she didn’t come to breakfast this morning. He noticed that Discord was in the bed again and figured he may have delayed her a little.
He opened the door to the room and saw both Twilight and Rainbow Dash on the floor red faced, covered in sweat and breathing heavily, with white sticky stuff all over them and the room.
“Man that was rough,” Dash exclaimed.
“Yea,” Twilight responded, taking a deep breath after every word. “But it was fun.”
“Oh, yea, totally worth it.” agreed Dash.
“Discord really worked us over, didn’t he?” Twilight said.
“Yea,” Dash rolled onto her back with a grunt. “Because of him I'm going to be so sore.”
Spike backed up the way he came. Quietly closed the door and left, his mind was quickly erasing everything he saw and heard before it traumatized him.




The girls got cleaned up before going to breakfast, more like a brunch at this point.
“I can’t stay long Twi,” Dash said as they walked the halls to royal dining room. “I still have a few things to take care of in Ponyville.”
“That’s ok Rainbow Dash; it was nice to spend some time with you again.” Twilight lowered her ears. “I worry about how I’m not around like I used to be.”
“Well you shouldn’t be,” Dash stated as if it was nothing. “Just because you’re farther away and a lot more busy, doesn’t mean we are any less friends.”
Twilight ears perked back up.
“In fact, when we do meet up, it just makes it that much more special, right?”
“You’re right, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight said as her face brighten with a smile. “Nothing has changed between us, just the distance.”
The mares pushed through the oversized door to the dining room. To their delight, Spike was waiting for them.
“Oh, hey Spike, what have you been up to?” Twilight ask as they walked up to the table.
“I don’t know.” He shrugged.
“It’s almost midday. Surely you’ve done something besides eat?” Twilight teased a little.
As the two mares joined Spike, a servant ran out to receive their orders.
“No, Twilight, I mean I really don’t know; I can’t seem to remember anything after eating breakfast. I think I came here because I knew you would eventually show up to eat, but that’s it.
A concerned look passed over Twilight’s face, but her thoughts were interrupted by Dash.
“You may have been tired this morning,” Dash suggested. “I’ve done that before, it’s like a blackout.”
“What’s a blackout?” Spike asked curiously.
“It’s what happens when you get really dru-“
“Tired!” Twilight interrupted giving Dash a glare. “If you’re really tired you can go on doing what you had planned and not be able to recall it later on.”
The servants brought out their orders. Pancakes for Dash and a daisy sandwich for Twilight; the mares wasted no time and started eating.
“Oh! Ok I see. Now I understand what Rainbow meant that one night.”
Twilight dropped her sandwich back onto her plate.
“Wait, what?”
“Oh, one night, when we were still in Ponyville, I woke up in the middle of the night to find Rainbow Dash sleeping on a cloud she pushed into the library.” Twilight looked at Dash, who shoved an entire pancake into her mouth. “I woke her up and she apologized, saying that she blacked out. Then she got all red in the face and flew off saying she needed to talk to Big Mac.”
Dash suddenly started choking on her pancakes; she drained a glass of milk to clear her throat.
“I gotta go! Bye!” she bolted to the windows, wings already flapping but Twilight teleported in front of her.
“I’m sorry, don’t tell Big Mac!” Dash yelled as she came to a stretching stop.
“Big Mac, that’s what you’re worried about?” Twilight jabbed a hoof at her. “Anything else you regret?”
“Yeah.” Dash let her ears drop a little. “I don’t remember anything I did with Big Mac. I always wanted to hfm-“
Twilight suddenly shoved her hoof down Dash’s throat. After a moment she pulled it away.
“Yeah, that.” Dash said pointing to Twilight’s now wet hoof “only to different part of hi- hfm!” Twilight did it again.
“Baby dragon!” Twilight said through gritted teeth. Dash pulled her mouth away from her hoof and looked over her shoulder at the now confused Spike. The light turned on in Dash’s eyes as she realized why Twilight was mad.
Dash turned back to apologize when the sun hit her eyes, it then clicked to her how late it was.
“Oh, man, I really do have to go, Twilight.” Dash said in an ashamed voice.
Twilight sighed away her anger and gave Dash a smile.
“It’s alright, Dash, I have to get to court as well. It was great to see you again. Just hold still and I’ll send you back to Ponyville.”
Twilight’s horn started to glow and Dash disappeared in a purple flash.




Big Mac was dragging his plow through the fields for fall harvest. Pumpkins, beans, potatoes, and many other fall and winter vegetables made up a very small part of the farms products. However it was crucial to Ponyville to have such plants available. Plus it kept the Carrot Top family from having monopoly in town.
The morning fog had made the ground damp and thick. The water in the soil made the ground heavy and viscous, bogging down his hooves and demanding tremendous effort to move the plow even a few inches. Dry soil however was more likely to damage Big Mac’s plow and slow down the harvest. As they say, the harder you work the bigger the rewards.
Unfortunately Granny Smith won’t let him back in the house until the mud was washed from his body. Mac was not looking forward to a cold bath on the first day of the fall season.  
A purple flash of light interrupted his routine as he ran face first into the flanks of Rainbow Dash.
“Hoof!”
Mud splattered all over Mac as she landed in the muck.
“Sorry about that, Miss Dash,” Mac apologies as he helped her back up.
“No, I’m sorry Big Mac.” Dash said as she flicked mud out of her wings. “I interrupted your plowing.”
“Nope. I was about to stop anyways and take a bath in the lake. Would you like to join me?”
Dash looked up at the sky; she had to get the sky cleared by noon.
“Just give me ten seconds.”
Whoosh!
Dash took off and flung mud in all directions. Mac wiped his eyes clear of the muck just as she cleared the remaining clouds from the sky.
She came back and hovered above where she’d taken off.
“Now about that bath,” Dash said more eagerly than she wanted to.
Mac looked her up and down. Following his gazed Dash looked down at herself. The high winds had sheared off all the sludge that clumped to her.
Dash stared at herself as she thought. Still hovering in the air, she straightened herself upright.
“Wing cramp!” she cried suddenly and fell out of the air. Covering herself in mud.
“Now about that bath,” she said again as she got up.
The pair made their way to the lake.
“After the bath we can plow again,” Big Mac said.
“Sure, I don’t have much to do this afternoon,” Dash answered.
A few seconds went by as the two got closer to the lake.
“You were talking about the fields, right?” Dash asked.
“Nope”




Twilight stared at the spot that her friend once occupied; a look of sadness, longing, and contentment was mixed into her expression.
“Twilight?” Spike, said softly as he placed a comforting claw on her; Twilight hadn't even noticed him moving to her side. Spike didn’t understand what was going on, but he understood that Twilight was becoming upset.
“I- I’m going to outlive them Spike,” Her voice hardly above a whisper. “I need to spend more time with them, but I can’t, Spike. I can’t. ”
A single tear rolled down her face as she embraced Spike.
Floating above the chandeliers was Discord; his arms full of paint filled balloons. He had a solemn look on his face as he watched Twilight softly cry in Spikes arms.
Her words made him think of Fluttershy and gave him similar concerns.
This…sadness that he felt, he wasn’t used to it. In fact he’d only felt it once, when he almost lost Fluttershy to his own stubbornness.
Was this the risk of friendship? Is this all that it comes down to? A friendship starts and it’s wonderful, but it always ends in sadness. Ether the friend dies or the friendship ends.
Discord was starting to see friendship as a curse; pain wrapped up with a pretty bow.
What confused him even more was that he felt upset that Twilight was upset. Who cares that she was upset? It shouldn’t affect him, but it did.
Thousands of years old and he was like a child trying to understand relationships and, like a child, he wanted to run away from these feelings. He knew the perfect mare to get his mind off things.




Twilight turned into the grand hall as her named was announced.
She tried her best to walk down the red carpet with confidence like she had seen Celestia do so many times before her. Unfortunately she was still as paranoid and overwhelmed as the last time, but she didn’t freeze; instead, she looked behind her, hoping Discord would be there. That’s when she froze.
What am I thinking?!
She resumed walking and pushed the strange thoughts from her head. She was closer to her throne with every step. But with every step, she fought to hide her discomfort from the crowd and hold her head high.
Finally she made it to the small steps to her throne. Twilight looked up and was surprised to find that her throne had been moved between Luna and Celestia, and was a level higher than the two.
Bewildered, she looked at Celestia who mouthed, its ok, trust me. Twilight then looked at Luna who gave her a nod of approval.
Hesitantly she started walking up to her sit between the royal sisters.
A sense of déjà vu came over Twilight when Celestia nodded at a guard with a list.
The first petitioner was… well it didn’t matter; Twilight wasn’t paying attention. She was always prone to overreacting or over thinking. Besides her anti social tendencies during her childhood; it was her only hindrance in life. Most of the time Spike was there to keep her grounded and calm when she became paranoid.
Twilight’s train of thought was on Discord. He acted in a way that she didn’t expect. The creature always sent a shiver down her spine every time she heard that cocky, arrogant voice of his. She expected him to be cruel, mean, and rude. Instead he was funny, clever, and… perverted.
Then he had moments that surprised her. All the times he helped her, and how he reacted to the changelings. A lot of questions were building up in her head over the last couple of days, but she had been so busy with her responsibilities that none of them were getting answered. Twilight’s mind was more focused on him than her the court.
“I would like to hear what our new princess thinks of how discriminating our education system is,” A far off voice said.
He’s supposed to be the spirit of chaos, of disharmony. Why is he going out of his way to help?
“It’s not right. I’ll have a meeting with Lord Discord to clear things up.” Twilight said out loud; only the court thought that was her answer.
On and on this went with Twilight mumbling to herself as Luna and Celestia took control of the court.
To Twilight, only a few minutes went by when it was time for dinner. Celestia requested that she join them for dinner that night.
Twilight left with no destination in mind, clearly walking to think.
“Are we sure she’s ready, sister? I mean to take our rule?” Luna asked in a concerned voice. “There are times when she’s perfect and then there are days like this.” The sisters were making their way from the grand hall to the garden, an act done almost ritually after they have court. The guards had already cleared the halls and garden to give them some privacy as they discussed today’s events.
“You must have faith in her.” A rare, sad look came across her face, like a mother worried about her child. “She has so little of it in herself.”
“I find her to be quite confident of herself.” Luna said doubting her sister’s observation. “She is a very clever pony and she is aware of it.”
The two came out of the castle and were greeted by the sun’s rays and the greenery of the garden.
“She is sister”, Celestia agreed. “But emotions can overpower logic quite easily; you have experienced this fact yourself. Twilight is emotionally unsure of herself. Yet this is why she is ready. She is still growing as a pony and Equestria will grow with her.”
Luna stopped and looked up to the castle; Celestia also stopped when she noticed her sister did. From the garden Luna could see the stain glass picture of when Twilight used the elements to change her.
“It’s not enough,” Luna said almost in a whisper.
“I’m sorry?” Celestia asked, not understanding what her sister meant.
“Twilight needs an anchor, sister. I don’t agree with you, she can’t rule on her own. She’s like me, in a way, she’ll never have a handle on her insecurity without someone to keep her grounded. I have you for that.” Luna gave her sister an apologetic look. “I know you think that we are no longer fit to rule, but once Twilight outlives her friends she won’t be either.”
Celestia gave no response as she took a few steps away from Luna.
“I know, and I never planned to allow her to rule alone.” Celestia looked down at an empty pedestal that once held her most unique statue. “She’ll have an anchor, one that will live as long as she will.” 
“Are they even getting along?” Luna asked her sister.
“It’s hard to say; they are polar opposites, but in a way that works. I never planned to take over Discord’s rule permanently. Every day the balance between chaos and order shift in orders favor. Only the Evergreen forest still contains some presence of chaos. It’s only going to take another few more generations before it’s all gone and we can’t even grow wheat.”
Celestia walked over to a rose bush, a single blue flower grew in sea of green and red.
“Our citizens were so used to the unchecked chaos that Discord brought that we had to demonize chaos as some kind of evil to be banished from the world in order for them to accept us. This, however.” Celestia smiled at the blue rose. “Is the true face of chaos: change, progress, uniqueness, it is the source of life in our world. This flower is blue because of a mutation. It was touched by chaos, and it has grown to be so beautiful and unique.”
“Is that what Twilight is, sister? A mutation?” Luna asked as she stared at the blue flower. “Was she touched by chaos?” 
“Not just touched, but blessed by it. You should have seen it, when I first found her; I had not seen magic like that since Discord. She changed everything around her. It was almost funny.” Celestia giggled as she became reminisce of fond memories. 
“Wouldn’t that make her just another Discord?” Luna asked looking back at the old pedestal.
“No,” Celestia shook her head. “She has the same magic as him, but she craves order. She is a pinnacle, an apex. That’s when I knew.” 
Luna smiled as she began to understand. “Those two are perfect for each other aren’t they?” 
“Yes, they will bring true harmony to us all.” 





Discord suddenly sneezed.
“Oh, I bet someone is talking about you.” Pinkie pie sang out as she brought Discord a plate of cupcakes.
About a half an hour ago Discord decided to drop in on pink and fluffy pony.
Pinkie had just finished making herself a cupcake with a red cherry on top when Discord twisted face appeared on the cherry.
Discord smiled with malice as Pinkie approached her cupcake; but he started to look up in horror at the open mouth of Pinkie pie.
“I should have thought this through,” he said to himself as Pinkie bite into a third of the pastry.
“Hmmm that one tasted funny.” Pinkie said to herself after she swallowed.
Pinkie could hear muffled yelling from her stomach; when she looked down at herself she could see her belly jumping around on its own. A look of confusion hardly touched her face before she stuck her hoof into her mouth and pulled out a very small and slimy Discord.
“Hello Discord! What were you doing in my stomach?” she asked in her shrill voice.
Discord hung there like a wet doll for a few moments. “I was looking for pearls,” he answered sarcastically.
“You’re thinking of clams, silly,” She said through a giggle.
After she set him down, Pinkie Pie headed to the kitchen to make more cupcakes. She returned right after Discord got cleaned up.
“Ah, a mare after my heart,” Discord joked as he took the plate for cupcakes. He lied down in mid air, like he was in an invisible hammock, and threw a cupcake into his mouth.
“Not really, your heart’s already taken,” Pinkie said casually.
Discord started choking on the cupcake in his mouth. After a few hard coughs, he forced himself to swallow the rest of the pastry.
“If it has, then it’s been done without my knowledge and the criminal will be dealt with.”
“No, silly,” Pinkie said as she grabbed one of the cupcakes. “I mean you already like somepony. It is kind of hard to steal a heart, unless you’re a heart surgeon, trust me I know.”
Discord tried his best to ignore the last bit that came out of her mouth. Pick and choose your battles, he thought to himself.
“I know what you meant, and you should ignore rumors, unless they’re true.” Discord grabbed another cupcake with his forked tongue and pulled it into his mouth.
“Oh I didn’t hear it from anypony; my Pinkie Sense told me.”
Discord’s mouth was still full of cupcake so all he could do was raise an eyebrow at her.
“You see when my heart beats quickly then my tail twitches, that tells me somepony in nearby is falling for somepony.” Pinkie rubbed her chest and shook her tail. “And you’re the only one here.”
“The cakes are down stairs,” Discord argued. “Mr. Cake could be getting a mistress.”
“No way!” Pinkie looked around the room to make sure no one was within ear shot. “No one in town is kinkier than those two; I can barely keep up with them.”
Discord eyed Pinkie wearily.
“I’m not falling for anyone.” Discord said defensively.
“Whatever you say, Disco.” Pinkie sang out.
Discord got out of his…‘hammock’, and pushed his face into hers, normally this would make a pony uncomfortable, scared even, but pinkie just kept smiling at him.
“I hardly care for friendships, so why would I want a companion?” Discord pulled his face away gave Pinkie an aggravated look. “And don’t call me Disco; I'm the spirit of chaos, not some dance routine.”
“Tell that to the author”
“What?”
“Nothing.” Pinkie scrunched up her face in a smile.
Discord’s mind would not let him live in the moment. He found his mind wandering back to Twilight weeping in the dining hall.
Discord gave up and decided to change the subject. “Tell me, Pinkie, how does one of the elements deal with a friendship loss? You ponies live such short lives and you’re prone to drama. All friendships are doomed; I don’t find it worth the trouble.”
“Oh that’s easy. See this cupcake” Pinkie took the last cupcake off the plate and threw the whole thing in her mouth. She chewed happily for a few moments and swallowed the whole thing. “That cupcake was really good but now it’s gone,” she let her ears drop. “But that doesn’t mean it didn’t also make me happy while I had my cupcake. When a friendship ends its only sad because it made you happy.”
“Why would I not be happy? I’m the spirit of chaos.” Discord spread his arms out. ”I can do and make anything I would need.”
“I don’t know if you weren’t happy or not, but I do know that you can be happier.”
Discord honestly just wanted something to reinforce his belief that friends are not worth the trouble. Instead he was finding Pinkie quite persuasive. So he decided to change the subject once again.
“Speaking of happier an idea came across my head after talking to a zebra.”




Rainbow dash finished all her orders with Mrs. Cake and asked if Pinkie was around. Mrs. Cake let her know that Pinkie was upstairs. She headed to the upper floor that Pinkie rented from the Cakes. 
She opened the door just in time to see Discord fly out the window with Pinkie waving him goodbye, her back to Dash.
Worried that he was in town to get her back she started looking around for traps that he may have laid out.
“Oh, hey Rainbow Dash,” Pinkie said as she turned around. “We were just talking about you.”
“Really?” Dash tilted her head.
“Nope.”
Now Discord wasn’t the only reason why Dash felt uncomfortable.
“Um, ok, so guess who has a date with Big Mac?” Dash said as her wings stood at attention.
“Fluttershy! No, wait is it Rarity? How about Ditzy? Is it me? I hope it’s not Mrs. Cake.”
“No Pinkie, it’s me,” Dash said.
“Oh, that was going to be my 23rd guess. Hold on you’re falling for Big Mac? How long have you been here?”  
“What, oh? I guess I got here about 30 minutes ago, I had to make a few orders and I couldn’t decided on a couple of them. Once I was done I decided to drop in.”
Pinkie looked back at the open window.
“Oops.”
		
> Chapter: 15B(405/9)=2700 solve for A
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


        
        A nervous look washed over Twilight’s face as she entered the royal dining hall. The last time she was here was that morning with Rainbow Dash. 
        Thoughts of her friends brought pain and happiness to her heart, but she had to push her emotions aside as she knew that this was no dinner date. The sisters meant business. 
        She approached the table with caution, feeling not too much unlike a foal about to be chastised by her parents. 
        “Good evening, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna.” Twilight said as she climbed into her seat. “Thank you for inviting me to dinner. We seem to have even less time just to talk.” 
        Twilight was holding on to the false hope that this was just a social visit. 
        “I agree,” Celestia said. “Even though you once again live in the castle, we have yet to enjoy each other’s company.” She gave Twilight a warm smile but her expression switched to one of concern. “Unfortunately this is more business than pleasure.”
        “We understand that you have only held two courts since you obtained your new position.” Luna started to speak as the soup was served to them.
        Twilight looked down at the bowl of creamy potato soup and almost forgot her worries. The trio gracefully began to eat, but after a few hearty spoonfuls Luna finished her thought.
        “Yet you have accomplished more in those sessions than the court has in the last five years.” Luna smiled at Twilight and ate more of her soup. “We are sorry to admit it, but we have an agenda here.” Luna looked up from her soup at Twilight, searching for an emotional response. She sat there giving Luna her full attention, like a good little student.
        “I’m sure you noticed it.” Luna went on, satisfied that Twilight was taking it well so far. “The influence and power that you are building; I'm sure it has concerned you.”
        “Not really, Luna, I expected this to happen initially, but it will die down shortly. I'm a fresh face so a lot of ponies are going to make a political move through me or to please me. I'm simply taking advantage of the situation for the better of Equestria.”
        Luna wanted to let her jaw drop. She didn’t expect Twilight to be so politically savvy. Her a eyes darted to Celestia and she gave Luna a subtle ‘I told you so’ smile
        “Twilight.” Celestia got her attention from Luna. She had allowed the two to speak as she finished her soup; a servant soon rushed over and took the bowl. “We don’t want it to die down. We want you to keep building on it. We have planned to make you not a princess but the princess, and my sister and I shall take a backseat to your rule.”
        “Y-you want me to take over the kingdom?” Twilight shouted out in surprise. A crash was heard behind them as the servant dropped Celestia’s main dish. The kitchen went right to work cleaning the mess and making a new entrée. 
        “Think of it as graduating,” Celestia teased. “You’ve been my student most of your life, after all.”
        “B-but not like this.” Twilight paused trying to find the right words. “It’s not right! You’ve been Princess Celestia for thousands of years!”
        “And I still will be.” Celestia said as she giggled at Twilight’s statement. “However it is as you say. I’m thousands of years old. I have tried my best to befit my kingdom, but the fact of the matter is that I was born and raised in a different era than this.”
        “Princess,” Twilight seem to be near tears. “I don’t see how that can work. I'm sorry but I really don’t. I'm not ready... I'm far from it. I only became a princess sixteen days ago! That alone makes this a bad idea. I may not recover from the political fallout. I also don’t understand why you would make this decision.”  
        “Twilight, I have groomed you for this over the last 15 years. Make no mistake, you are ready. This transition will not be official until it has happened naturally, and Luna and I will just fade to the background politically. As for why…” Celestia tapped her chin thinking of a way to explain. “Think of the kingdom as a child, and Luna and I are its parents. Eventually, the parent must get out of the way of the child in order for it to grow and mature. Our child, unfortunately, has been in the basement longer than you been alive.”
        “Basement?” Twilight asked, not understanding the metaphor.
        A slurping sound came from Luna as she finished that last of her soup. As it was taken away she readied herself to help lift Twilight’s confidence of their decision. 
         “Twilight, one thing you have shown me is that you trust my sister completely,” Luna said as her soup bowl was whisked away. “A trust we share, so like any other decision she has made, trust her, Twilight. Trust her as much as you always have.
        “Also, you must not worry yourself, we will still be here as one of your many advisors. In a way, I and my sister are retiring, but you will always have us at your call if you need us.” A bread bowl of honey dew grass was placed in front of the Night Princess as she spoke.
        
        That seemed to hit all the right points with Twilight; she rubbed her watery eyes and gave Luna an accepting smile.
        “We do have one last order to give you before you become sole ruler of Equestria,” Celestia said. Her smile had a hint of playfulness. “It’s about Discord, we think its best that we-“
        “Wait, Celestia he’s getting better,” Twilight interrupted her. “There is no need to turn him back to stone.” 
        Twilight surprised herself. Part of her still saw him as the spirit of chaos, a fiend. However, they had agreed, more or less, to be friends; and loyalty was a part of any friendship.
        “No, Twilight, let me finish. We want him to be your personal advisor.”
        “Um…how is that any different from what he is now?” Twilight asked, her eyebrow raised in confusion. 
        “Not much,” Celestia admitted. “Only he must be at your beck and call more than anyone else and he has some power over you as well. You must not make any major decisions without his advice. Depending on the situation, he may even have veto power. He must be present in every diplomatic meeting you attend and when you are not available he can speak for you.”
        Celestia giggled a little. “Ok, so there’s a lot that’s different. Basically he will be a major part of your life.”
        “Never mind, let’s turn him to stone,” Twilight joked, which got a giggle from all of them. 
        “So this is really happening?” Twilight asked, more to herself than the others. “I'm in charge?”
        “And we are retired!” Celestia exclaimed, throwing a hoof in the air. Her action nearly knocked over the servant who was trying to deliver the main course. 
        Celestia blushed and smiled at the servant as he set the plate down in front of her. Celestia looked down, expecting the same thing as Luna, but found a cooked fish instead; its glazed, dead eye looking up at her. 
        “Oh no, princess, M’sorry,” the accent of the castle cook could be heard from the kitchen door as he rushed over in a panic. “Dere are g’iffins in de casdel donide. My mis’ak dat da plats were mixd.” He rushed over to take her plate but Celestia raised a hoof and stopped him.
        “I'm retiring, and one is supposed to try new things during retirement.” She used her fork and took a delicate bite of the cooked meat.
        Twilight covered her mouth as she tried not to vomit while Luna went almost as pale as her sister. 
        “Not bad, I think I’ll finish it,” Celestia said before taking another bite. 
        “Celestia that is disgusting!” Luna cried out.
        “Oh, hush you.” Celestia used her fork to flick a chunk of meat at her sister. Luna dodged it like it was red hot coal.
        “Sister! What is wrong with you?” Luna said as she watched the meat roll across the floor like it was something to be feared. “Remember your position.” 
        “I'm on the verge of retiring from my position.” Celestia argued.
        “Oh, you’re right, Celestia,” Twilight said, clapping her hooves together. “You can relax and enjoy yourself a little more now can’t you?”
        Twilight was thinking that her mentor would have more time on her hooves to spend with her, like they used to. Luna however was becoming worried.
        Luna reached across the table and tapped Twilight on her hoof. After getting her attention she motioned for her to come closer. 
        In almost a whisper to Twilight, Luna explained her concerns to her. 
        “My sister is older than you may know. She was born and raised during the reign of Discord. The strange, twisted things of that era are normal to her.”
        “Bring me soy sauce!” Celestia cried out suddenly, waving her hoof in the air. 
        The whispering mares glanced at her for a moment and went back to their conversation. 
        “I’m just warning you that she is going to do some strange things from now on.” Luna sat back in her chair.
        Twilight turned and looked back at Celestia; just as she stabbed the fork into the head of the fish. She left it there and giggled at her action. 
        Twilight summoned a soldier as she turned her head away. “Bring me a bucket!” she cried out. “And a messenger,” she added as a soldier galloped to her with a bucket balanced on his head. Another member of the castle staff wasn’t far behind him. 
        Both stallions made it to her at the same time. 
        “Thank you, I'm already feeling better.” Twilight said as she took the bucket and placed it on the table. 
        “Try this, Twilight,” she heard right behind her head.
        She turned around, and just as she opened her mouth to say ‘what’ Celestia shoved a piece of soy covered fish meat into her mouth. 
        Twilight grabbed the bucket off the table and heaved. 
        




        Discord flew through the evening air like a snake in water. The sun was setting fast as he approached one of the many balconies that dotted the castle. 
        “Lord Discord,” a voice of authority called out from behind him. 
        Discord looked over his shoulder as one of Luna’s guards caught up with him. It crossed his mind to turn the good little soldier into a butterfly, but he restrained himself. 
        “Princess Twilight Sparkle has requested your presence before the moon is high.”
        Discord circled around and stopped forcing the guard to stop faster than it was safe to; nearly plowing into the spirit.
        “What is the moon smoking?” Discord asked after the stallion got control of himself.
        “My Lord I do not understand the question,” The guard responded.
        “Clearly,” Discord said as his eyes narrowed out of boredom and annoyance. “You soldiers never have a sense of humor.”
        “I’m a personal guard of Princess Luna,” The guard pridefuly corrected.
        “That makes it worse, at least Celestia has a sense of humor, well the reminisce of one. You should have seen her when she was young, you’d swallow your own tongue if you saw the things I saw her do.”
        The guard cleared his throat in objection to Discord’s casual attitude towards the Princess.
        “I would tell you to shove it,” Discord said as he crossed his arms. “But you seem to have a stick and something extra up there already.” 
        The guard decided to ignore him.
        “Princess Twilight would like you to meet her in her quarters. She’s informed us that her balcony is opened.”
        “Whatever.” Discord crossed his arms. “I’ll show up when I feel like it.”
        The guard smirked. “I also need to inform you that if you don’t show up promptly that the flower on your head will start to weigh 10 pounds for every 5 minutes that you’re late.”
        “Oh, now you laugh?” Discord threw his claws in the air. “Don’t you know that one of your stupid elements is laughter?” 
        Discord flew off towards the castle. 
        The Lunar guard started to fly to his post when a magical pop turned him into a butterfly.
        
        



        
        “Oh, my stomach,” Twilight groaned as she reached her door. She was leaning on Spike and was in so much discomfort that she couldn’t open her door with magic like she always did. 
        The guards at her door rushed to her side and helped get her settled. 
        “Hang in there, Twilight,” Spike said as the guards tucked her into bed. “I’ll get the castle doctor.” Spike put the bucket that she brought from the dining room next to the bed.
        “Wait...” Twilight pleaded weakly, but Spike was already gone.
        Twilight already knew what was wrong; food poisoning. Her body was trying to flush out everything in her stomach.
        Twilight didn’t need a doctor; she needed rest, comfort, and a bucket. 
        She honestly wanted Spike to keep her company, not running around trying to find a doctor at 10pm. She knew that his dragon physiology would force him to sleep very soon. Most likely to be found by the castle staff and made comfortable in one of the many guest rooms. 
        So the only thing she had left was her bucket. 
        As Twilight lied back and let herself sink into her pillows, smoke began to fill her room. 
        “I am the terror that flaps in the night,” A voice from within the smoke said.
        Twilight’s eyes shot wide open.
        “I'm going to kill him,” she said to herself.
        “I am the low ratings that canceled your program.”
        “No, I'm not going to kill him,” Twilight said to herself as she sat up in bed. “I'm going to turn him back into stone then take a chisel to him.”
        “I am the typo that ruins your fan fic.”
        “A chisel and a fig leaf.” She went on, waiting for the smoke to clear.
        “I am.” Discord emerged from the smoke dressed in a purple cape, mask and oversized hat that reminded Twilight of Mare Do Well. “Dark Wing Discord!” 
        Discord stretched his body across the room, like a rubber band, and once again was inches from Twilight’s face. 
        “But you can call me D.W.D.” Discord said to her with a big toothy smile. 
        He suddenly looked off in some random direction and spoke to some invisible person. 
        “Please don’t sue, Disney.” 
        Discord returned to smiling in Twilight’s face.
        Twilight just gave him a flat deadpan look as she put the bucket between them. She stared at the spirit for a few moments as he gave the bucket a curious look, expecting it to do something.
        Without warning Twilight heaved into the bucket causing Discord to back up with a grimace on his face. 
        After collecting what little composure Twilight had, she looked up at Discord. 
        “Please tone it down Discord,” Twilight begged. “I'm not doing too well.” 
        Twilight felt a warm paw gently press against the side of her face. Surprised, she looked up at Discord, his strange getup gone; she was further taken back at the concern look on his face. 
        “You’re not fevered, but let’s take a good look at you.” 
        Discord gently forced her to lie back down. 
        “I already know its food poisonin-“
        “No,” Discord interrupted her with a stern voice. “You don’t know what’s wrong with your body. You have an assumption from limited observation. Now tilt your head back.”
        Twilight had never heard this type of authority come from Discord. Flabbergasted, she just stared at him. 
        After a moment Discord sighed. 
        “Trust me,” he said.
        Twilight did as he asked and tilted her head back. Discord’s paw started poking and prodding her neck. The awkward position was straining her, causing her to struggle a little. 
        Discord noticed and seemingly slipped his eagle claw behind her neck and supported her. 
        After a few more seconds Discord withdrew his claws from her neck. 
        “Your lymph nodes are swollen, but you have no infection.” Discord pulled a flashlight out of nowhere and nearly blinded Twilight with it.
        “Blood shot eyes, overactive mucus.”  Discord was talking like he was making a list. 
        “You might wake up with your ey-” Discord suddenly shoved the bucket into her face. 
        “Hey, watch-” Twilight finished her sentence with a dry heave. 
        “I didn’t even feel it coming... how did you-?”
        “Your eyes dilated,” Discord answered before she could finish her question. 
        Twilight was starting to feel like she was Discord’s patient. Images of the mad doctor Discord danced in her head. 
        “Here, this will help neutralize the acids in your stomach.” Discord said as he handed her a conjured glass of soda water.
        Twilight knew about this trick but always thought it was an old mare’s tale.
        Eagerly, she drank the glass down, glad for anything to free her from this misery.
        “Lie back down” he commanded.
        Twilight complied, this time she was more trusting of him. 
        Discord peeled back the layers of her bed covers, exposing the rest of Twilight’s body to him. 
        A small blush graced her face. Twilight felt a little silly that she would feel embarrassed, but something about him just pulling her blankets away caused her to feel a little exposed. 
        Discord pressed his paw to her chest. 
        “What are you doing?” she asked out of curiosity. 
        “Shh!”
        “No really what are you looking for?” she asked again.
        Discord groaned in annoyance. He knew that he would have to satisfy her curiosity if he was going to finish. 
        “Lion paws are extremely sensitive, it’s how they track their pray from long distances. I can feel your heart better than I could hear it. Think of this as a cat scan” 
        Twilight’s eyes seam to sparkles as she learn something new.
        “Why are you smiling?” Discord ask, worried that she may be hallucinating.
        “I just never knew that,” Twilight answered in an excited voice. “So it’s as if they have ears on the paws to hear the animal’s movements?”
        “Yes, now be quiet,” Discord said as he placed his paw on her chest again.
        Ignoring him she went on. “If you’re worried so much, go get a doctor. See if you can’t find Spike while you ate it. He might be passed out in the hall somewhere.”
        Discord eyeballed her for a few moments, an annoyed look in his face. 
        “There no need for two doctors here, and I am infinitely more qualified than any other,” he growled at her. “Now be a good patient and shut up.”
        Twilights jaw hung open for a few moments; she started fidgeting with the uncontrollable urge to ask a million questions.
        “Please, Twilight, it’s important that I finish. I’ll make you a deal: sit still and I’ll truthfully answer three questions. Deal?”
        “Deal.” Twilight took a deep breath and let herself relax. 
        “Your heartrate is slightly elevated, but I can chalk that up to your excitement.” 
        Discord ran his paw down her body and began to examine her stomach region. 
        “Your small intestines are dormant and…” he ran his paw further down her body to the base of her belly.
        “Stop!” Twilight yelled as she brought her hind legs up to her chest and grabbed Discords arm with her forelegs. “What do you think you’re doing?” She yelled at him, her faced flushed and red.
        “Checking on your large intestines, now let go.”
        Twilight reluctantly relaxed and let her limbs fall back into place.
        “That’s it; spread your legs for me.” 
        Discord expertly dodged a couple hoofs aimed at his face and grabbed the third strike. 
        “Alright, alright, I’m sorry. I just couldn’t help myself.” Discord said as let go of her hoof, giving her a smile. 
        Twilight’s anger melted away almost immediately. She had never heard Discord apologise to anyone except Fluttershy, and she found it nice that he was still himself. This stiff and serious Discord felt unnatural to her. 
        Twilight relaxed again but puffed her face out and glared at him the whole time. 
        Discord gears switched again as he went to work, feeling around her lower belly.
        After a few moments Discord sat down on the bed and sighed. 
        “Your large intestines are inflamed. You ate meat didn’t you?” he asked without looking at her.
        “Celestia made me try a bit of fish.” Twilight looked a little green after remembering today’s dinner, which was now in a bucket next to the bed. 
        Twilight saw a flash of anger in Discord face, it left behind a feral look in his eyes.
        “She should know better,” He growled through clenched teeth. 
        “What’s wrong?” Twilight asked in confusion. 
        “You don’t have food poisoning; you already threw up the fish.” He said pointing to the bucket on the floor. “You’re having an allergic reaction to the fish. The problem is that you haven’t stopped. Your body’s immune system is going into overdrive. It’s becoming an auto immune reaction. Mostly this will just cause some major discomfort, however if it keeps escalating it could lead to anaphylaxic shock. You’ll need to be placed under observation.” 
        Twilight just stared at him with a hanging jaw. She could hardly believe what he was saying. It was just…unexpected. 
        “Can’t you just snap your finger and make me better?” She pleaded.
        “Sadly no, I'm powerful but not all powerful. Healing someone is a little outside my reach as far as magic goes,” Discord started, tucking her back into bed. 
        “Your vomiting should be over. However your other symptoms are going to start manifesting. Headaches, fever, excess mucus from your nose and eyes. Wouldn’t be surprised if you woke up with your eyes crusted shut.”
        To Twilight surprise he ran his eagle claw through the top of her mane as he finished. Goosebumps raced down her spine as it both excited and relaxed her. 
        “You’re not going to get much sleep, but I’ll make you as comfortable as possible.” He conjured up a glass of water and set it next to her bed.
        “Your symptoms are going to include diarrhea, I want you to drink lukewarm water, after every trip to the bathroom. Don’t drink it cold, it will set you back if you do.”
        Discord magically dimmed the light in the room. 
        “Try to rest, Princess.”
        Discord got up and was making his way to the balcony before he was stopped. 
        “Wait,” Twilight said softly as she sat up. “You said that you would answer my questions.”
        Discord walked back to her and tucked her in again.
        “I'm not leaving until I'm sure you’ll be fine. Besides,” Discord smirked. “I didn’t say when I would answer them.”
        “I should have known.” She said meekly through a yawn. “Where are you going to sleep?”
        “Sleep?” Discord asked rhetorically. “I said observation, didn’t I? Can’t watch you if I'm asleep.”
        “Creepy,” Twilight commented as her eyes closed. 
        Discord smirked at Twilight and continued on to her balcony. The cool night air greeted him with a light breeze as he passed through the open doors. He walked to the edge of the balcony and leaned against the stone railing. 
        Looking down he could see a guard that was meeting up with a young cleaning mare.
        “Ah, young love.” Discord said to himself as he watched the couple whisper sweet nothings at each other.
        Smiling warmly at the scene, Discord casually placed the bucket of Twilight’s vomit on the railing and tipped it over.  
        The couple screamed as the putrid fluid covered them, the mare adding her own vomit to the mix. 
        “Well, I feel better now,” Discord said to himself as he picked up the bucket and walked back inside. 
        
        



        
        Two hours later Twilight woke up to the very symptom that Discord warned her about. She grabbed the glass of water and made her way to the bathroom. 
        After spending more time in her lavatory then she ever thought she would, Twilight meekly climbed back in bed. 
        With her system cleared she noticed the other symptoms that weren’t there when she went to sleep. Everything that Discord told her was coming true, including the fever. Her whole body felt disgusting and sore. The slightest touch felt like pin needles against her skin. Her nose was so stuffed up and runny that it might as well have been filled with a gallon of pudding. There was a white haze over her eyes from the mucus build up. Her head throbbed in rhythm of her heart. She could tell that her core body temperature was high as her sheets felt like ice packs. 
        “Maybe there’s medicine I can take,” she said groggily to herself. 
        As she placed the now empty glass back on her night stand she noticed a bottle with red liquid inside. A note, on some yarn, tied to the top said ‘drink me’.
        Trusting that it was Discord’s doing, Twilight drank the whole thing in one gulp. It tasted like any other medicine, only she could tell it was magically brewed as her symptoms seem to float away from her body as soon as so took it.
        As haze of the discomfort lifted from her mind she finally noticed Discord at the end of her bed. He had curled up like some pet; his long body shaped him into a swirl. 
        Twilight smile at the spirit.
        “You keep on surprising me,” she said to him, thinking that he wouldn’t hear her. “The more I learn, the more fascinating you become. I just hope I can be just as fun as you.”
        Twilight stared at him for a few moments, watching his body rise and fall as he slept peacefully.
        “You’ve entertained me so far,” Discord said from the dark. 
        “Eep!” Twilight squeaked out of surprise.
        “Now get some rest, or I'm going to turn you into a log,” He said to her.
        Blushing, Twilight quickly pulled the covers over herself completely, trying to hide more than rest.
        




        The cold of the fall season was once again invading Twilight’s room.
        Fortunately, only her nose and ears were feeling chilled, as she woke up under far more layers of blankets than she went to bed with.
        As she stretched her limbs under the blankets, her hind legs pressed against something at the end of her bed. 
        Looking down, Twilight remembered that Discord took up residence there last night. 
        Only now he was on his back, sprawled across the bed, his limbs, tail and head hanging off the edges as he snored lightly; the glistening of drool running down his mouth. 
        Twilight climbed out from under her blankets, the cold air shocked the rest of her fatigue away. 
        “Oh, pony, its cold.” She said and a shiver went through her body. “I have got to look at the spells they’re using on the castle.” 
        Twilight looked over at her fire place and saw that all the wood was ash. Even with her magic, fire needed to fuel to burn.
        Looking back at the spirit, Twilight remembered why she called for him in the first place. 
        She walked over to Discord poked him a few times “Discord, wake up.” 
        All he did was grumble and scratch the spoke that she was poking. 
        Before Twilight could try again she heard a commotion just outside her door. 
        “You cannot just go in to her quarters!” Twilight heard one of her guards say.
        Twilight also could hear the female voice, a mare with an arrogant tone. “Under the communication penal code 132.06, members of any royal family may demand an audience with any other royal members without notice and without repercussions.”
        “What?” The guard responded, not understanding.
        “I’m a member of the royal family and you standing in my way is illegal. Is that simple enough for you?”
        The door flew open to a white mare with golden-shod hooves. Her blonde mane and tail had been expertly curled on the ends; her flank sported a rose compass with a crown above it. 
        “Princess Twilight Sparkle, forgive my intrusion but after recent news I felt our meeting was overdue. I am-“
        “Lady Mary Blood daughter to Duke Blood mother to Prince Blue Blood,” Twilight spoke as she climbed off her bed. “We’ve met before.” Twilight did indeed know Prince Blue Blood’s mother, more than she wanted to. 
        “Good, that will make this easier. I have come to make a proposal.” The mare’s train of thought seemed to freeze up as she stared at Discord asleep on Twilight’s bed. 
        Twilight followed her gaze and looked behind her. “Ignore him; it will be easier that way. Now what’s your proposal about?”
        “The proposal is a proposal, to my son.”
        “You want me to marry your son?” Twilight asked making sure she was hearing this right.
        “Yes, the matriarch of our family has named you ‘Princess’ unfortunately this has upset many members of the royal family. Marring Prince Blue Blood would make you a true princess. You wouldn’t be a Blood but your children will be.”
        “My children?!” Twilight just couldn’t believe her gull. 
        “Yes this would solidify your position.” Mary Blood spoke as if her proposal was already accepted. 
        “You mean solidify your  position.” Twilight said, her patience running out. 
        Mary took a step back at Twilight’s accusation. “Why would I have to protect my position?”
        “You said it yourself ‘after recent news you felt our meeting was overdue.’ You most likely have discovered something that you consider a threat to your family.”
        “I see you have a good head on your shoulders, but that won’t help you.” Mary said as turned her nose up at Twilight.
        “Help me? With what?” Twilight ask as she glared at the self entitled mare.
        “You were forthcoming to me and I shall do the same. My family will  protect its interest; if you won’t join the Bloods we will make sure you never gain enough power to achieve your goals.”
        Twilight heard Discord roll over in her bed. Looking back at him a familiar sensation came over her. 
        As she turned back to Mary she spread her wings and straightened her body.
        
        Mary Blood had grown up among the spoiled, the rich, and the powerful. She learned very early not to be intimidated. 
        
        Twilight, however, started radiating power. Waves of it came off her like a fire in the wind. Marry only once felt this come from another mare, Celestia herself. 
        “Then I have nothing to worry about, Lady Mary Blood.” Twilight spoke with a level of confidence that turned her every word into fact. “You have proven yourself to be a less-than-competent opponent by announcing your plans. You’re obviously panicking, seeing as you ran straight to me with an offer. You just inadvertently revealed you have an informant among our dining staff. The truly sad part is that your family was safe from anything you imagined, but now you have rushed to me as if I was some threat to you; placing your family under scrutiny.”
        Mary could only stand there and listen. Every word made her feel as if her body was shrinking, a nervous knot tightening in her stomach. She closed her eyes and swallowed, mentally forcing her confidence to return.
        “Well the first move was mine, it was not the best one but it’s not the last,” Marry said to Twilight and began to leave. 
        Right when the door shut Twilight turned back to Discord.
        “Get up Discord.” her horn lit up and slammed him into the ceiling. “We have work to do,” Twilight said after he landed on the bed. 
        Discord, now awake, rubbed the top of his aching head and popped his neck. 
        “You know I once had an alarm clock that woke me up with a mallet,” Discord said as he stretched his limbs. “It was more pleasant than you.”
        Discord caught a glimpse of the look in Twilight's eyes. He saw a level of determination there that was very much like the one when she had when she turned him back to stone.
        Discord jumped off the bed and straightened up with a green military helmet on his head and saluted her.
        “Orders, Sir?!”
        “Ever see a boulder roll down a hill?” Twilight ask as she paced back and forth. “It doesn't just knock over anything in its path. It picks it up and makes it roll with it, other rocks and trees, even small animals.” She looked up at Discord, their eyes meeting. “We just need to give Equestria one big push into the next era.”
        “How are we going to do that, Sir?!” Discord said still standing at attention.  
        In that moment something clicked in Twilight, like some dormant device turned on for the first time. She lit up her horn and conjured her own headgear to match Discord’s.
        “Court today is at 1500 hours so tell me, Discord, how much do you know about the current state of our education system?”
        
        


        
        Twilight was quite uncomfortable holding court by herself, but she had to trust in her mentor’s judgment. Besides she had her wild card with her. 
        She convinced Discord to increase his size as he did in with the ambassadors, only not as menacing; he still looked like the Discord everyone knew. 
        Twilight wanted to send a message. I am powerful. She didn’t want to scare anyone, but to instill confidence in their new princess. And having a subdued spirit of chaos sitting at her hooves was a head start. 
        As the court dragged on, Twilight became engrossed in the petitions brought to her. Land ownership, education reform, reestablishing holidays, doing away with holidays, the most interesting concept was a pair of unicorn parents that gave birth to an earth pony. Both of them are well-educated but the specialty schools won’t even evaluate their daughter because she’s not a unicorn. 
        Twilight could not have asked for a better opening.
        “I fully understand your plight. Magic is not limited to unicorns, anyone can use magic, even earth ponies. Magic also should not be a deciding factor in one’s abilities.” Twilight looked over the crowd that filled the grand hall.
        “Many have brought the same concerns on how higher education is run. The traditional schools have catered to unicorns for thousands of years. The zebras have an institution in their lands called a university. A school of higher education that is open to the public and whose students are allowed enrollment based on their merit and drive for education instead of who they are and their connections.”
        The crowd exploded in murmurs, whispers and shouts; most were supportive, some very unflattering. 
        The one sound that reached Twilight’s ears was snoring. 
        Discord’s snoring. 
        He had wrapped his long body around her throne. His head was just to her arm rest; resting on his claws as he slept; Twilight could rest her elbow on him.
        Twilight allowed the chaos in front of her to go on. After all it was a major announcement and she could use a break for a few minutes. She tried to keep an ear out for anything said that would help her in this idea of hers, but most of the voices drowned themselves out.
        She sat there trying to relax in her throne as the court seemed to go on without her. Soon the crowd started to quiet down. To her surprise they started to look at her; waiting for her. Twilight didn’t expect this reaction from them this soon. 
        To demand this kind of attention and respect from her court; then she heard the purring. 
        Her eyes followed the sound and she caught herself petting the top of Discords head. A peaceful smile was on his face as he purred with each stroke. It felt so natural to her that she had to force her hoof to stop. 
        This is why they stopped. she thought to herself. They must think that I'm extremely powerful to turn the spirit of chaos into a pet.
        Indeed the court pride swelled at the sight. Their new princess was a being to respect; all because Discord was bored.
        Twilight rose to her hooves and opened her wings, just as she seen Celestia do so many times before her. 
        “It will take time to implement these improvements to Equestria. However the currents schools like Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns can make immediate changes to accommodate all members of our society. For example, new classes that focuses on academic studies like history or engineering. Tests of intelligence and education will replace the magic test for entry and will be open to anyone, even non-ponies like griffins or zebras. 
        “These changes will include the teachers and staff as well. I want griffins, zebras, and ponies of all the tribes teaching our youth as much as they can absorb.” 
        “You want those striped heathens not only going to school with our children but also teaching them?!” A blue coated unicorn mare cried out from the crowd. She was fairly close to the front of attendants and clearly someone of political or financial power.
        Twilight was ready to pick apart her twisted views in front of the court, but the mare’s scream took all the attention. 
        She suddenly had black stripes all over her body while her mane took on a more coarse and exotic look. She was essentially turned into a zebra. 
        Twilight looked to her right and found Discord in the same sleeping position only now his eyes were open and glaring at the mare turned zebra.
        Twilight also noticed that he once again took on a more dragon like appearance. He began to rise up to his standing position, his talon rested on the back of her throne. He didn’t stand to his full height instead he slouched forward like a bear almost on his back legs. His lion paw dangled a foot above the ground. Yet he still towered over the court.
        The crowd look like they were about to start screaming but not a peep was heard.
        “Did you know that during my rule I would turn ponies into zebras and zebras into ponies? I made them move to their new homelands. It worked out much better than some lame ambassador system you have these days. Well, it was more entertaining at least.” Discord never took his eyes off the offending mare as he spoke. 
        “That’s enough, Discord, change her back,” Twilight said. Her eyes were closed and she looked like she was trying her best not to be angry.
        “Why? She is so much more interesting this way, blue with black stripes; maybe I can force her to speak in rhymes.” Discord smiled, showing off his huge teeth, several gasps could be heard from the crowd.
        Twilight didn’t even open her eyes in response; she was determined to keep regal position during this interruption. 
        Her horn lit up and she pulled Discord back down by his white beard. The stained-glass windows shook as his body hit the ground hard. Discord started to get back up but he saw Twilight’s hoof coming straight at him. Instinctively he closed his eyes and braced himself. 
        However, he felt a very comforting hoof stroke the top of his head. Discord opened his eyes and realized that Twilight was petting him.
        “Thank you for trying to help, Lord Discord.” Twilight spoke in a loving, yet stern voice. Like some kind of cross between Luna’s and Celestia’s speech pattern. “But my people have the right to their opinions. Punishing them for their views is far worse that whatever their views are.” Discord relaxed his body. He wanted to swat her hoof away from his head as it ran through his mane, but it was like his body wasn’t listening. “Now change her back, Lord Discord.”
        Reluctantly he snapped his claw and she was herself again. 
        “If any more disagree with my decision consider this.” Twilight paused looking over the crowd; every eye was on her. “Only 65% our school facilities are even used. The student to teacher ratio is 8 to 1. Our entire young adult population could start school tomorrow and we would still have a surplus in the school system’s budget. Our school system as it is has only been draining our economy. No dividends, no interest.
        “There is no excuse other than cultural disdain and traditionalism that is keeping our education from competing with other nations. This will be for the success of Equestria.”
        The crowd erupted in applause and cheers. 
        Over the thunder of the court Discord raised his voice just enough for Twilight to hear. “We just pushed the boulder down the hill, didn’t we?”
        “And started an avalanche,” Twilight replied. “Oh and don’t think I have forgotten about your promise; we’re having dinner together and your answering my questions.”
        “It’s a date.” 
        

> The last chapter name confused one to many ponies
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	The castle chef worked on his salad like it was a painting; every leaf, every flower, every single bread crumb right where he wanted. Blooms were sweet with nectar, leafy greens so fresh that they still smelled like the garden, tomatoes and cucumbers perfectly ripe and juicy. The chef added the perfect layer of wine vinaigrette, then topped it off with basil and feta cheese.
The chief handed the salad to the servant waiting penitently for the plate to be done. In a quick but elegant manner, the servant delivered the plate of perfection to the precipitant, Discord.
Discord looked at the salad for a few seconds then snapped his claw, turning the perfect salad into a plate of spaghetti the size of his head. The server had a look of disgust as he unhinged his jaw and swallowed the whole thing.
"Did you just eat the plate?" Twilight asked from across the table.
"It was the best part," Discord answered after he swallowed.
“Here,” Discord snapped his claw and one of the bread plates at the table came alive, “try one for yourself.”
As if it was an order, the plate walked up to Twilight and broke a bit of itself off and tried to hand it to her.
“I’ll um... take your word for it,” Twilight said she shooed away the plate.
“Alright Discord, I think it’s time you cleared a few things up. You owe me three questions.” Twilight stated as she jabbed a hoof at the spirit.
“Are you ready, Discord?” Twilight asked with a smirk.
“Absolutely. By the way,” A gleeful sneer grew over Discords face. “That’s one.”
“What?” Twilight yelled, “No! That doesn’t count! How does that count?”
“It was a question. That’s two.” Discord said with a smirk.
“No!” With every ‘no’ Twilight slimed her hoof on the table. “No, no, no! Why do you have to be so difficult?”
“It’s in my nature. That’s three by the way. Ta-ta.” Discord disappeared in a flash of light.
“Messenger!” Twilight yelled out.
She rested her head on her hoof waiting for a response; after a few moments she looked to her left expecting to see one of the night guards. Instead there was a butterfly that was saluting her.
“What the buck?”





Discord teleported into one of the hallways open to the public. Many tour groups came through there every day. With the moon out and the castle closed to civilians for the night, Discord was greeted by empty air and dim lighting.
As Discord strutted down the hall feeling happy with himself he began snapping his claw a few times changing up some of the décor. A painting of Celestia started picking her nose. A bust of Luna became bound in leather straps and gagged with a red ball. His last piece of work was him turning a new painting of Twilight in, what else, a library into one of her on the toilet; her face scrunched up and turning red.  
Discord walked a few paces past the painting then backed up.
Discord put his claw to his chin as he looked up at his handiwork.
He snapped his claw and now she swinging an oversized axe with mane cut short and her body covered in body paint and blood.
“Nah.” He snapped his claw again and she was a changeling.
“That would give a few visitors a fright.” Discord laughed before he snapped his claw again. This time she had a crazy look to her while she sported a ball gown and a bloody knife.
“Cliché.” He snapped again and Twilight was poking her head out for under a box. Her hair was really short while she wore an eye patch.
Unsatisfied he changed it again.
Twilight as a male.
Snap.
Twilight in over the top armor while riding a dragon.
Snap.
Twilight wearing socks.
Hesitant snap.
At this point Discord was just snapping his claw over and over again until he came across something he liked.
Discord stopped when he had her surrounded by books and wearing thick-rimmed glasses, a skirt and a blouse with a few buttons undone. She was smiling while looking over the glasses with a sultry look in her eyes.
Discord was about to change it when a purple flash announced Twilight’s arrival next to the spirit, the color drained from his face.
“Ok, that was a little funny, Discord, but I would really-” Twilight stopped when she noticed Discord's alteration to her painting.
Twilight groaned with an angry sigh and lit up her horn.
“Sit!”
The flower on Discord's head became far too heavy for him to hold his head up, causing him to fall forward.
Discord tried to get up but his head was anchored to the ground. He pulled and pulled but he just stood there hunched over awkwardly with his head firmly stuck to the ground.
Twilight calmly walked over to him and conjured a rather large bucket of water.
“Up.” Once she spoke, Discord found that he could straighten himself up. He looked down just as Twilight put the bucket where his head once was.
“Sit.”
Discord’s head was dragged back down right into the bucket of water. Discord started thrashing around as the fear and panic of drowning began to set in.
Eventually he realized that he may not be able to get rid of the flower but he could get rid of the bucket.
He snapped his claw and was able to breathe again.
He looked up at Twilight standing over him glaring.
“You are driving me crazy, Discord.” Twilight said as she hovered over his head.
“I drive all the mares cramhm-” at that moment, Twilight decided to step on his muzzle.
“You are making me crazy and confused. You were this big bad scary spirit when we first met. Now you’re supposed to be my friend, then I find out you were once a doctor-“
Discord mumbled something under her hoof. Twilight lifted her hoof off his face.
“I never stopped,” Discord corrected as he stood up before; the flower no longer weighing a ton.
Twilight rubbed her temples with her hooves. “One moment you’re nice to me, then you embarrass me, then you’re supportive, then you turn me into a pinup mare.” Twilight jabbed a hoof at the mentioned painting.
“I’m a princess now, Discord.” Twilight’s voice began to rise. “As flattering as this is it could ruin me.”
Discord’s toothy smile grew and grew until the ends of his lips curled. Twilight became scared; she could almost hear gears of his twisted mind grind together.
“So you like this look on you?” Discord asks; his tone filled with mischievous intent as he readied his talon to snap.
“Don’t. You. Dare.” Twilight threatened as she backed up from the spirit.
His claw snapped.
Twilight found the same outfit in the painting on her. However, she felt something on her that wasn’t in the picture; something that turned her redder than a sun burnet Big Mac dunked in tomato sauce. A garment with only one purpose in Equestrian culture.
Panties.
“You annoying, sick, twisted, perverted abomination! Why? Why do you always take things down this route? You act like a teenage colt who never been with a mare! I don’t see why I don-WHY THE BUCK ARE YOU BLUSHING!!
This time Discord took a step back. He touched his face before snarling at Twilight.
“I’m not blushing!” He yelled back.
In that moment Twilight saw an advantage over him that she never thought of before. Now it was going to be her turn to make him squirm.
Fight fire with fire. Twilight thought to herself.
“Oh?” Twilight did her best to imitate the expression on the painting. “Dose Lord Discord like what he sees?”
A bead of sweat rolled down Discord’s face as Twilight sauntered over to him; ready to turn the tables on the spirit and embarrass him for once.
Unfortunately for Twilight she had never tried something like this. The skirt hugged her hips so much that she almost tripped over her own hind leg. The fabric of underwear was rubbing against her with every step, causing her to look at her own rear as she attempted to walk up to the spirit in an ‘inviting’ manor.
The whole scene was awkward.
“Do you…do you…” Twilight wracked her mind for the right thing to say, and then she remembered seeing something in her brother’s old magazines he kept under the bed. “D-do you want a spanking?”
“This is getting painful to watch.” Twilight heard a familiar voice behind her. She craned her neck and found Luna and Celestia behind her.
Celestia brought the tip of her hoof to her lips. “Shhh!” She hushed her sister. “It’s getting good.” She conjured up a bag of popcorn and started munching.
“Princesses!” Twilight lowered her ears shamefully. “How long have you been there?”
“Long enough to know that you look good in black and purple striped underwear,” Celestia said through a mouth full of popcorn.
Twilight blushed and sat down to hide the garment from their view.
“Princess Twilight,” Luna spoke up. “What are…panties? We are unfamiliar with this type of garment.” Celestia started choking and Twilight felt a stone drop into her stomach.
“Yes, Twilight,” Celestia added with a smile. “Tell us about panties.”
“Wouldn’t you know more, dear sister?” Luna asked innocently.
“Well…” Celestia began to sweat as she no longer found this fun but uncomfortable.  
“It’s a sign of chastity.” All three mares turned towards Discord. “Mares wear it to cover themselves up. It’s a message that your body is pure and so are you.”
Twilight could just make out a twinkle in his eyes. Apart of her wanted to start laughing, but she knew this was only the tip of the iceberg. He was scheming and poor Luna was his target.
“Yes, that’s right! It’s a way to say I'm a good mare,” Celestia chimed in.
Oh god,Twilight thought to herself, they’re working together.
“Um, Luna.” Twilight spun around on her rear to face her, not willing to let Discord see how she looked in underwear. Just when she was about to save Luna from a pending disaster, Discord brought his head down next to her.
“Play along and I’ll answer more than those three questions,” He whispered in her ear. Twilight glared at him. “Remember, loyalty is a part of friendship,” Discord added before she could refuse.
Twilight sighed. “It’s also a popular fashion statement,” She said in a flat voice.
Luna tapped the end of her chin. “So we are to assume that Princess Twilight is untouched?”
Twilight started blushing again. “Yes I am…untouched.”
Luna looked down as she began to think. “A maiden princess would be popular concept. Princess Twilight may we come to your quarters and discuss more about these honorable undergarments?”
“I can have my former student make a report on the topic," Celestia suggested as she tried to stifle a laugh.
“Along with a presentation on different types of panties, and examples to show you,” Discord added.
“This sound like it could be...” Luna looked right into Twilight's eyes. “Fun.”
Twilight smacked her face with her hoof.
Discord teleported right next to Luna and put his arm around her. “Luna, dear, panties make everything fun.” He said as he ran a claw through her mane.
“We require more space, Lord Discord.” Luna said dryly to the spirit. Discord, however, just leaned in more, until a purple aura started tugging at his ear and pulled him off the Princess.
“We would like to meet up soon,” Luna said as Discord was pulled back to Twilight's side. “We wish to wear this honorable garment to the Princess Summit.”
“Princess Summit?” Twilight asked in surprise.
“Yes, Twilight,” Celestia said as she regained her regal composure “The Princess Summit is an annual weeklong meeting of the royal family, this year it’s in the crystal empire and you, and your friends, have been invited.”
“Really?” Twilight asked.
A whole week of spending time with all her friends made her so excited that she nearly forgot about the moment at hoof.
As her thoughts returned to the present, Twilight became pale as she become conscious that Luna was seriously considering going to this summit with panties on. Loyalty or not she could not let this go on anymore.
“Princess Luna, underwear ar-“
“Only meant to be worn at night,” Celestia said as she interrupted Twilight. “Not appropriate for the summit. I understand you want to convey a positive message to everypony around you, but there are better ways of doing so.”
“Very well,” Luna conceded. “We still wish to know more about panties.”
“This is a fashion of the common pony,” Discord said helpful voice. “You should ask somepony more sociable. Your guards for example; they get out of this castle more any of us do.”
“That’s an excellent point Lord Discord; I will take your suggestion and ask my personal guards about panties. Lord Discord, when Princess Celestia decided to release you I had my reservations, but times like these that I do not regret my sister’s choice.”
A twisted smile that could curdle milk grew across Discord’s lips. “I’m so happy to hear that from you.”
“We have many responsibilities to attend to and we must get started. We hope you enjoy our night.” Luna gave them all a slight bow and left the group.
As soon as she was out of earshot Celestia and Discord started laughing.
“T-tell me there’s a way t-to spy on her when s-she talks to her guards.” Discord asked as he was laughing.
“You two are evil.” Twilight said.
“It’s all in good fun, Twilight,” Celestia responded.  
“I have learned from my studies that pranks and jokes are a good way to have fun with your friends, but Princess Luna is trying really hard to fit in. This won’t make it any easier.” The pair stopped laughing when Twilight finished chastising them.
“Who cares?!” Discord asked rhetorically. “I’m entertained, and that’s all that matters.”
“Discord,” Twilight spoke in a disappointed voice as she walked up to him. “Don’t you remember what you learned about friendship? If your friends are happy then you can be to.”
Discord rolled his eyes but responded. “I also learned that playing a prank is a way to show that you care. Like sharing a joke only you and them will get.”
Celestia sat down and watched Discord and Twilight argue over friendship. It was nice to see the two not only getting along but influencing each other. Twilight coming out of her shell and Discord becoming a little bit more down-to-earth. Every day those two get closer and closer to each other.
“What do you think Celestia?”
“I think you two make a great team,” She said giving the couple a knowing smile and confusing them. “Speaking of which, Twilight you will be gone for a while, Discord will stay here and represent you as is his duty.”
Discord snorted. “Ha, duty…wait duty?”
“Um Princess.” Twilight gave Celestia a sheepish smile. “I haven’t had a chance to bring him up to date.”
“Well then I think you two need to sit down and talk.” Celestia started to leave but turned back to Twilight and walked up to her and whispered something in her ear.
“What? I don’t get it!” Twilight exclaimed when Celestia pulled away.
“Trust me,” Celestia said with a warm smile.
“Ok Princess,” Twilight said with a returning smile.
She turned her attention to Discord, looking over the glasses at him.
“You put me in these clothes now help me get out of them.”
Twilight and Celestia started laughing as Discord became red and very interested in some dust on the floor.
“I still don’t understan-” Twilight interrupted herself with her own laughter. “We hardly ever wear clothes, but that face.” Twilight started laughing so hard it was becoming obscene.
Discord crossed his arms and gave her an angry pout. “Its late Princess, and you have some explaining to do.”
Twilight regained her composure. “Alright alright, but let’s go my quarters, this castle has ears.” Twilight said thinking back to her meeting with Marry Blood.



In one of the many offices that occupied the castle. A blond and white unicorn worked deep into the night. His quill moved across his parchment fast enough to shoot out magical sparks at the end of each line. The spectacles on the end of his muzzle gave hint to his age.
A guard opened the door, allowing another unicorn into the office; her features mirrored the stallions'. She walked up to the desk and stopped short.
“Evening Duke Blood.” Marry said stanchly.
Blood glanced over his glasses at her with a sad look. “My marriage to your mother was arranged, but your birth was not, please call me father or dad.”
“When it is appropriate,” Marry answered coldly. “Why are you working so late? You have many aids that can finish a simple legislative bill for you.”
The Duke stopped writing. “I would, if this was a simple bill. They're the reforms Princess Twilight wants to implement. Not something I want an office jock to play fill-in-the-blanks with. Now what may I do for you dear?” Blood knew that his daughter only visits him for business.
“I need you to go to the Princess Summit in my stead,” Marry said bluntly.
Not even bothering to ask. Duke Blood thought to himself.
“The summit is meant to empower mares that are in politics or a part of the royal family,” The Duke answered. “I lack certain…attributes.”
Marry ignored her father attempt at being funny. “That is not a requirement of attendance. Prince Shining Armor will be attending. I however have become indisposed and will not be able to attend. I need somepony there who can properly represent my interest. You’re the only pony that I have that kind of faith in.”
The Duke could tell that his daughter had a hidden agenda, but it’s hard for fathers to say no to their daughters.
“Very well, I shall represent you at the summit. If you see your mother on the way to your quarters let her know I might be a while.” Duke Blood went back to his work and Marry turned around to leave.
“Good night dear, I love you.”
Marry closed the door behind her without a response.



Twilight’s door opened slowly, letting in the dim light from the hallway. Through the narrow crack, Discord poked his head inside.
“Now be quiet, Discord,” Twilight said as she also slid her head in. “Spike is probably in bed already."
Discord conjured and trumpet and was about to blow into it, but Twilight lit up her horn and stuffed it full of flowers.
Twilight giggled at him as he glared down at her.
“Come on.” Twilight pushed the door open enough to get through. “Let me cast a spell and you can make all the sound you want.”
Twilight’s horn lit up and a purple bubble engulfed Spike and his basket.
“There,” Twilight said without whispering. “Now he won’t hear a thing we say.” Twilight walked over to her closet, next its door was a laundry chute. “I’ll fill you in on what’s going on after I get undressed.”
Twilight shot a magic spell into her fire place. Lighting up the fresh log inside and spreading a dancing light over her room.
As she slipped the skirt off her rump she looked over at Discord who had his back to her and was studying a blank wall.
Twilight rolled her eyes. “What is with you and clothes?”
“I come from a time when most mares wore clothes; I was only half way lying when I told Luna that panties covered her up and that it showed a level of properness. Undergarments were once a conventional piece of clothing, but now...” Twilight couldn’t see his face but she could tell he was smirking. “They’re just fun.”
As Discord spoke, Twilight finished take off everything and threw them down the chute. Then a thought crossed her mind.
“Wait.” She spun around and raised and questioning eyebrow. “Didn’t Celestia grow up in the same era? That’s what Luna said.”
“Yes,” Discord answer, his back still turned to her. “Essentially, Celestia turned Equestria into a country of nudist.”
“What’s a nudist?” Twilight ask, genuinely confused about the term.
Discord sighed, “I’d have to change your understanding of what is culturally acceptable to explain it.”
Twilight knew what he meant by that; her own adventures led her to meet individuals whose cultures were so different that some things were just unexplainable.
“I think I understand where youre coming from, though. In fact, I understand why Celestia told me to ask you to help me out of those clothes.”
A few silent moments passed before Discord sighed, waiting for the OK to turn around.
“Hey Lord Discord,” Twilight sang behind him.
Instinctively he turned around.
Discord's jaw dropped to the floor. It actually stretched  from his face to the stone slabs.
Twilight had turned her back to him and raised her tail in the air. She lowered herself onto her front knees and looked back at him with the glasses on.

The panties were still on.

“Could you assist me with these?” She wiggled her hind quarters “I’ve never worn them before,” Twilight said in an innocent voice.
Discord, literally, picked his jaw up off the ground and turned around as Twilight burst into laughter.
“I think I’m going to keep these.” Twilight tugged at the elastic band on the garment and let it snap against her skin; making sure Discord heard it. She could see him flinch at the sound.
The sight of the spirit of chaos reacting to her like a school yard colt made her giggle again.
“Keep this up and I won’t answer a thing,” Discord threatened.
“Ok, ok, I’ve had my fun.” Twilight removed the rest of the outfit, but put the glasses and panties inside the closet instead.
“Are you decent again?” Discord asked over his shoulder.
Twilight looked back over her own, raising an eye brow in confusion. “When did I become indecent?
“Again, I’d have to change your understanding of what is culturally acceptable to explain it.”
Twilight closed the door to her closet before she responded. “I understand, in your era it was improper for a mar- wait since when did you care about what’s proper?”
Discord gasped and daintily brought his claw to his agape mouth.
“Princess, have you not reformed me?” Discord mocked. “Have I not shown that I’m a changed spirit?” He dropped to his knees and threw his head back raising his claws in the air, as if to speak so some invisible being above him. “Have I not proven my worth!”
Discord dramatically fell forward to the ground and began sobbing into his claws.
After a few moments of muffled crying Discord poked a glance through his claws and found Twilight just standing there with a deadpan face.
“Not buying it, huh?” Discord asked as he leaned his head against a claw.
“Would you?” Twilight asked in a flat tone.
“Well, Princess, it was a fun evening,” Discord said as he got to his feet “I will take my leave.” He started to turn towards the door but found himself being magically dragged by his tail to the fire place.
“You not getting off that easy, Discord,” Twilight said as she forced him to join her in front of the flames.
“Put those glasses on again and I will,” Discord muttered to himself.
“What did you say?” Twilight ask as she sat down across from Discord.
“That you’re a benevolent ruler,” Discord answered as he lied down on his belly.
Twilight rolled her eyes at him, she was learning quickly to just let things go with him.
“No jokes this time,” Twilight warned. “I would like straightforward answers.”
Discord leaned his head against his claw and gestured for her to start.
“The biggest thing I wanted to know is why you are a doctor?”
“I wasn’t always the spirit of chaos, just like you weren’t always the element of magic or a princess.”
Discord snapped his claw and a tea set appeared between the two. The ceramic wear came to life and started serving him and Twilight.
Twilight smiled as she levitated the warm brew to her lips; she was almost taken back when she realized that it was the same type that Fluttershy favored.
Twilight looked up from her cup at the spirit. She could almost see a glimmer of happiness in his eyes as sipped the steamy liquid.
He clings so much to this persona that he is the spirit of chaos, but he just like any other pony.
“Ok, that makes sense, but now I know my second question. How did you become the spirit of chaos?” Twilight started sipping her tea as she waited for an answer.
“You know the story of how Equestria was founded right?”
Twilight nodded.
Discord conjured a plate of muffins for them. Twilight eagerly relieved one from the plate. “Careful.” Discord took a sip of tea. “One of them is explosive.”
Twilight looked Discord right in the eyes and took an over dramatic bite of the pastry, calling his bluff.
“So what the plays and books don’t tell you is that the winterization of the land was a slow one. The tribes moved it as fast as they could and did a land grab in a rush for food. I was in this newly discovered land trying to help with the ongoing disaster-”
“You said you wouldn’t lie,” Twilight said as she glared at him.
“I’m sorry,” Discord responded in a mocking tone. “I went there to turn the never ending blizzard into one made out of marshmallows. You have no faith in me, I am your friend. I'll practice honesty.” Discord tapped the end of Twilight's muzzle. “If you practice loyalty.”
Twilight did feel a little bad after Discord’s playful berating.
“You right,” Twilight said softly. “Trust is a part of loyalty. I’ll work hard to keep that in mind.” Twilight gave the spirit a caring smile. “I do trust you Discord, you have proven yourself a reliable friend, and I will always have you back.” Twilight’s ears and eyes perked up. “And you’ll always be there for me to, right?”
“Y-yeah” Discord stuttered in his response. “I’ll always be there for you.”
Discord felt unsure of himself; a sensation that he only once experienced with Fluttershy when she proclaimed herself as his friend.
“Never had a pony rely on me though. This will be interesting.” Discord menacingly rubbed his claws together attempting save face.
Twilight giggled at him, seeing through his rouse. “You were a doctor; I’m sure many ponies relied on you.”
Discord moved the tea set from between them and blew a ring of fire onto the stone slabs; reminding Twilight that Discord was part dragon. The fire burned without fuel or heat, a magic flame like Spike’s. White and gray smoke flowed out of the flames and started weaving images for Twilight.
As the smoke took shape, Twilight could make out the shape of Discord walking on all fours, but his body had a few less bits and pieces to it. His legs and tail were lizard like while he had a matching pair of horns that were tree like antlers. He seemed even more dragon like than she had ever seen him before.
“You have a point, but none of them trusted me.” In an almost cartoony way the smoky Discord snuck into a village and stopped at one house. He then stood on his hind legs and adorned a stethoscope.”You ponies are skittish by nature.” The doctor Discord knocked on the door, and a pony poked his head out and with a surprised look slammed the door in his face. “Most of your kind tried to chase me out of town when I arrived.” As if a cue a mop of smoky earth ponies started chasing Discord with torches and pitchforks. “Couldn’t keep up with how many times I was called a foal eater.”
Twilight's eye sparkled like a young foal as she watched the enchanting images rise up from the flames.
The smoke died down allowing Twilight to focus on Discord. “Well as you know there is chaos and there is harmony.”
As Discord spoke Twilight could tell that the spirit used to be an academic. She felt like she was once again in class, listening to lecture worthy of her time. She felt quite relaxed and content as she absorbed every word.
“Well there is also order,” Discord went on, “These forces are always fighting for control and influence over our world. Ironically we are the ones that have the control. Our actions influence these forces which in turn affects our world.
“However there is no clear reaction to our actions. A war may cause chaos to gain some control or order may get the upper hand. So many cultures that have discovered this nature of our world have labeled these forces as sentient. Many gods of mythology are steeped into this fabric of understanding. Now I must point out that harmony and order are not the same thing. Remember that these are names that we have given them, not descriptions. If it helps I have heard these forces called other names: Chaos and order, creation and decay, mutation and the unchanged, unrest and unmoving.” Twilight recalled when Celestia told her that Discord had everypony in constant state of unrest. “Harmony, from what I have learned, is the state between these two forces, I may be able to sum it up for you in one word: entropy; from order to chaos.”
“But that is a mathematical concept used widely in chemistry and physics. It shows that everything naturally becomes disorganized and chaoti-, never mind” Twilight said as she came to understand Discord’s methodological metaphor.
“Think of our world as a rollercoaster. Ever moving and changing.” The smoke started up again showing images of Discord and Twilight enjoying themselves on a carnival ride. “Order is achieved by force of will.” The train started making its way up the first drop; Twilight could almost hear the clicking of the ride as the smoky shapes were forced up the rails. “Now chaos is gravity, always pulling, always there, an inescapable fact of nature.” The train dropped and the ride started; up and down it went along the rails. “Chaos can become powerful but will never overwhelm the world.” The train hit a drop that seemed to never end; falling and falling gaining much momentum. “The ‘pull’ of chaos will always push us into a state of order.” The train came to very large hump that was cleared easily. “Order, however can overwhelm chaos and cause decay.” The next hump that the ride came to was too large to clear and the train fell back and eventually rested between the two humps.
“If that happens the ride is over, harmony ends.” Discord gave Twilight a very somber look. “And everyone gets off.”
Twilight eyes became as wide as her smile. She was hearing concepts that have never been conveyed to her before. She was also seeing a side of Discord she never knew existed. He understood the world around them. Discord was just like her in many ways. His social skill were questionable, just like her, but his intelligence more than made up for it.
“But there is a wrench in this machine of life, we have avatars of these forces like you and I,” Discord continued. “So there is chaos.” He pointed his thumb at himself. “And order.” He gestured to Twilight. “Who do you think was the avatar of order when I first came to Equestria?”
“Wait are you trying to tell me that the windigos were agents of order?” Twilight inquired. “That makes no sense. They were destroying our world.”
“Yes they were. Slowly turning the land into a barren, frozen waste where nothing changes and everything remains the same.” Discord watching in amusement as Twilight’s understanding came to fruition.
“The spark!” Twilight yelled out as she began to piece it together.
Discord nodded. His own excitement was growing and growing as Twilight once again showed a level of understanding he didn’t find in most.
“That’s right, but I'm getting ahead of myself. I was in Equestria providing my services as a doctor to the needy of the land. A lot of illnesses were running ramped, mostly because of the poor quality of living that that earth ponies had to suffer.
“I gained an assistant after a few villages spread word of the help they received. She was Celest Blood but you know her as-“
“Princess Celestia!” Twilight yelled as she interrupted Discord; her excitement was getting hard to contain.
Her enthusiasm was bleeding into Discord and his explanation was becoming a bed time story.
“Your mentor was quite the rebel in her day. She was on the run from her family and wanted nothing to do with politics or royal obligation.” Discord got a little closer and lowered his voice to a whisper; Twilight scooted closer with anticipation.
“I made her wear a naughty nurse outfit the whole time we traveled together, and she loved it.”
Twilight giggled as a young Celestia came out of the smoke and started prancing around in a nurse outfit.
“I wasn’t just helping people medically. Draconian life spans rival that of dragons. I had centuries of experiences and education to offer to the ponies of Equestria.” A smoky Discord joined Celestia and the two started walking to another town, but then Discord stopped and Celestia went into town. “Your mentor always went in ahead of me to ready the town for my arrival. Most of the town would let me in with hesitation. You ponies were not used to any creatures outside of your three tribes so slowly but surely chaos was gaining a little ground as we visited each village.” Discord drank the rest of his tea; letting the warmth sooth his throat.
“Now I'm getting bored with this so I’ll move on to the juicy bits. Your assumption was correct there was a spark that took place after a cave-in. Celestia’s mother Princess Platinum was trapped with a servant of hers and several other ponies; so she dragged me there to help get them out.
“We all witness a bright glow come out of the cave, we all thought that maybe the Princess was going through a magic flare, but we were wrong. Moments after that I felt pain like no other.” Discord paused and glanced at his lion paw. He then waived it though the flames and the smoke swirled in the air; the lizard like Discord from earlier took shape. “Draconequus are half dragon half pony. I became something more.” The figure of Discord curled up in a ball, hugging his limbs. The smoky figure started to spin, faster and faster it went until series of pops slowed it down; what emerged was the Discord Twilight knew.
Discord, without warning, smashed his open paw onto the fire, smothering it out of existence.
“It wasn’t just my magic that grew, it was also my knowledge. No one had to explain to me what happened, I just knew. Chaos poured into me, not just a little, an ocean's worth.”
Twilight eyed the paw in front of her. Like a curious foal she crawled close enough to hold the lion paw in her hooves and looked down at it.
“They were dragon claws.” Discord answered.
Twilight pulled at Discord’s eagle claw; he let her have it and gently grasped her hooves in each claw.
The two of them sat there like that in silence. Twilight was staring at the claws holding her, pondering over the information that she received. She could guess what happened to him. Discord became the open flood gates of chaos and put order back in its place.
Discord found himself staring at her. Watching the light from the fireplace cast waves of shadow across her face. He found the moment pleasant, he never felt this content before. Never shared this much with anypony. He felt calm and peaceful; he couldn’t remember when he last sat still for such a long period of time without trying to cause some mayhem or make some immature joke.
“What was it like back then?” Twilight ask.
“Horrific,” Discord answered bluntly. “Your modern plays and bed time stories really sugar coated that era. Ponies were dying from all sorts of things. Your tribes were being pushed to extinction, all brought on you in the name of order.” Discord snorted angrily. “Order is existence without change. It irks me that you ponies pursue it so eagerly.”
Discord's voice rose as he went on. His claws grew in length, his eyes became even and more feral, even his coat darkened with his mood.  
“Your species are full of all sorts of magic, yet you push back on its very nature. I applaud Celestia for keeping your self-destructive tendencies from wiping you all out. What angers me more is that you would gladly drag this whole world down into nothingness along with you.” Discord's voice became louder with each sentence; his dragon-like features started showing through his face. “You cling so much to this unhealthy worship of order that you have forced this world to decay. Without the magic you possess to force rain to fall and crops to grow you all would starve to death!”
“Discord-”
“Even after thousands of years, your kinds are still the same, destroying anything that is different.” Discord anger grew as he recalled how close this government came to committing genocide.
“Discord.”
“Outside of Equestria, the plants grow as they should, rain falls as it may, and creatures flourish freely without intervention!” The rest of Discord’s body became more animalistic. Scales became defined and prominent, his wings and tail grew in length, and his fur became rough and textured like a wild animal. Twilight could feel his physical strength grow as he continued to hold her hooves.
“Lord Discord!” Twilight yelled.
Discord glared angrily at Twilight, but gave her a moment to speak.
Twilight expression softened before she spoke. “What do you hate the most?”
“You're out of questions Princess,” Discord growled.
“You promised me more than three in the hallway,” Twilight retorted.
“Death.”
Twilight stood up and sat back down next to the spirit. The gesture worked as Discord calmed down, his form going back to its original shape as laid his head on his claws.
“I was already over 1200 years old when I became what I am. All around me other species, with a few exceptions, were dying all the time; it’s why I became a doctor. Do you know what I learned about order when I became its counterweight?”
Twilight allowed her silence to be her answer.
“Order wants death. An unmoving universe; free from change and motion. ”
Twilight remembered when Discord grew angry at the notion of attacking the Changelings. She was beginning to understand just how complicated this spirit was.
A thought crossed her mind. “But Discord, everything leads to death, not just order.”
“Ah, I had this same conversation with Celestia.” Discord looked around. “In this very room I think.” He placed his head back on his claws letting a yawn escape his mouth. “Funny how that works, maybe this time I’ll get it right.”
“Get what right?” Twilight ask intrigued.
“A story for another day Princess.” Discord’s eyes started to droop and slowly close.
“Wait! What about Luna? Why did you take over Equestria? What did you do to make everypony unhappy? Why didn’t Celestia have wings in those images you showed me?”
Snoring was her answer.
Twilight groaned and looked out the balcony window glancing at the moon; it was far past midnight.
“Discord you can’t sleep here.” Twilight said as she prodded him in the side.
Discord mumbled something incoherently.
“Come on Discord, you’ll get cold down here.” Twilight got up and levitated Discord with her as she climbed into bed. She dispelled the bubble around Spike before she got under the covers. She looked up at the spirit floating in her grasp.
Discord was passed out and already drooling from the mouth. His limbs and tail dangled from his body as Twilight lowered him into bed, pulling the blanket over him.
“For a creature so old you sure act like a foal sometimes.” Twilight giggled.
Twilight rolled over on her side and faced away from the sleeping spirit. Her bed was large enough to put some decent space between the two, but that didn’t last long.
As Twilight drifted to sleep herself she felt the soft paw of Discord grasp her midsection and pull her to him like she was a stuffed animal.
“Discord.” Twilight grunted “Personal.” Twilight raised her hoof in the air. “Space!” Twilight slammed her elbow into Discord’s chest, but she only managed to make him grumble in his sleep.
“You know you like it.” Discord whispered to her in a tired voice.
Twilight rolled her eyes and was about to hit him again, but she stopped herself. She could feel a thumping on the back of her head. She turned her ear to it and started listening to the draconequus' chest. The sound made her calm down and relax as she fell asleep next to Discord’s heart.

> Hooks, Strings and Panty Things
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	"I really don't like this idea," Spike told Discord as the spirit handed him a baton to complete his band leader outfit. "When I said I wanted to help wake up Twilight, this was not what I had in mind."
        
        All around Spike, Twilight's room was filled with Discord copies; each one holding an instrument.
        
        Some had cornets, French horns, trombones, baritone horns, and tubas, while others sported snare drums, tenor drums, bass drums, and— Discord’s personal favorite— cymbals.
        
        The rest in the back of the room had piccolos, flutes, soprano clarinets, and saxophones.
        
        "My dear Spike, what better way to wake up than to the excitement of a marching band?"
        
        "Um…peacefully?" Spike said sounding more like a plea than a joke.
        
        "Come now, Spike," Discord said, raising his cymbals in the air. "We wait for your signal."
        
        Beads of sweat dripped down Spike’s face as he raised his baton above his head, all the Discords poised and ready to play the moment he gave the first down-beat.
        
        Spike swung his arms down and every Discord flashed the same evil look in their eyes as they all came down on their instruments.
        
        "Do it and I'll have Cadence make you fall in love with a cactus," Twilight said as she opened her eyes and glared at the crowd of Discords.
        
        …
        
        …..
        
        All at once the Discords said the same thing: "Worth it!"
        



        
        A pair of brown coated guards fresh out of training stood in front of Twilight’s room, chatting between themselves.
        
        "So... the stallion that I relieved said good luck to me," One of them said.
        
        "So? He was just being polite," the other guard responded.
        
        "I don't think so," he stated. "He said it so…ominously, like he was warning me about something."
        
        His colleague rolled his eyes. "We are guarding Princess Twilight Sparkle; she could blow a hole through a mountain or reverse gravity if she wanted to. This is the easiest job we'll do, and also the most boring." He yawned. "What could happen?"
        
        The guards nearly wet themselves when loud marching music burst from Twilight’s room making her door bulge outwards.
        
        The guard's training kicked in and they flew into action. Spears drawn, they flung open the door and ran in.
        
        They didn't make it very far.
        
        They found a horn pointed directly at them which blew them out of the room. They tumbled back head over hooves; one of them slammed into the door across from Twilight's. The impact forced the door open and the stallion screamed as he felt himself fall. He instinctively grabbed for anything and was able to hook his hoof on the door knob. Looking down, he nearly emptied his bowels as he saw an entire world all around him.
        
        Too stunned to move, his colleague pulled him back into the hallway. The stallions were just beginning to gather their bearings when they heard Princess Twilight yell over the music.
        
        "Get the buck out!"
        
        Sure enough, the they started marching out of the room and into the hall. It was then the two rookies could see that the band was made up of some kind of chimera they never seen before and they were all identical. To top it off, a rather large lizard was the leader.
        
        As the band made its way down the hall Celestia's door flung open and she poked her head out. At first she had a scowl on her face, but started clapping her hooves and smiling like a young filly watching a parade go by. As the last Discord walked by her, playing a flute, she jumped into his arms and yelled; "Onward to the kitchen, my breakfast awaits!" The Discord copy complied with a grin, and carried her off.
        
        As the commotion faded away the two rookies were hardly on their hooves looking down the hall dumbfounded.
        
        "That's the norm around here lately." The two heard an older guard say. They both looked up at one of the lunar guard; the pair snapped to attention when they noticed that he was escorting Princess Luna. "At ease stallions, we're here to visit Princess Twilight," The guard stated.
        
        The door was still hanging open. So all they did was nod and gesture to the entrance.
        
        The guard went in first, as is the policy for his position, and found Twilight coming out of her bathroom ready for the day.
        
        "Your majesty, I have a message for you and Princess Luna has requested an audience." The lunar guard used his bat-like wing to pull a sealed letter from under his armor. "It was marked for your eyes only."
        
        Twilight floated the letter to her bed, she wanted to visit with Luna before anything else.
        
        "Thank you sir." Twilight said giving him a smile.
        
        The guard bowed and relieved himself from the room, closing the door.
        
        Luna walked up to Twilight and conjured a teapot and two cups. "Here we-I brought you my own brew for you. I heard Discord make a commotion and figured you would need this."
        
        "Thank you Princess Luna," Twilight said as she took one of the cups from her.
        
        "’Tis-ahem it is just us, please, just Luna, as we are friends," Luna said as she poured the steamy liquid into each cup.
        
        Twilight giggled a little bit. "Luna, you can talk how you want. It is as you say, we are friends."
        
        "We thank you Twilight." Luna sipped her tea as did Twilight. The warm liquid flowed through them waking up every cell in their body. "We see that you and Lord Discord are getting along well."
        
        "Mostly, but he is the spirit of chaos so we have our moments." Twilight brought the cup to her lips again.
        
        "Tis not our first choice for a mate yet you two function well."
        
        Twilight started coughing on her tea.
        
        "W-we are not, um, mates." Twilight said as she cleared her throat.
        
        "Forgive us Twilight, our understanding of current customs is still lacking. We assumed it was still customary to share thy chambers with one so special." Luna looked down at her tea, stirring it.
        
        "Tis- I mean it still is."
        
        "Then you are mating," Luna said in a matter of fact way.
        
        "You try kicking out a being that can alter reality," Twilight said a little defensively; she was trying to be patient knowing that Luna, like Discord, came from a different era.
        
        "So he has forced himself into thy bed?" Luna arched a brow.
        
        Twilight blushed a little, again, trying to keep in mind that her way of speaking was just different.
        
        "Yes," She answered.
        
        Luna pushed on. "Every night?"
        
        "What? No just the first night, surprised the hay out of me."
        
        "So you have accepted him into your bed?"
        
        Twilight sighed. "Yes, but we are not…mating." Twilight cringed a little.
        
        "You share thy chambers with him but not mating? We think we know the term for this." Luna tapped her chin a few times. "Ah, yes, 'taking it slow'."
        
        "What?! No, its-" Twilight almost missed the twinkle in Luna's eye.
        
        Twilight started giggling and Luna smiled then joined in.
        
        "Our sister is not the only one who enjoys a good anecdote," Luna said as she finished her tea. "Speaking of, we expect the mischievous natures of Lord Discord and our sister. You, however, surprised us."
        
        Twilight raised a brow, unsure of what she was referring to.
        
        "We enjoy our time with you, but we and our sister will be going on ahead to the Crystal Kingdom. We will see you there."
        
        Twilight finished her tea and said her goodbyes before turning to the letter on her bed.
        
        "Messager!" Twilight called out after reading the letter’s contents.
        
        The Lunar guard that was with Luna came in and stood at attention.
        
        "I'm calling an emergency meeting. I want to see the commanding officers of all four of our military branches in one-" Twilight’s stomach growled. "Two hours."
        
        The guard bowed and rushed from the room.
        
        If I'm going to meet with the generals I should present myself well, Twilight thought as she approached her closet.
        
        When she opened the door her eyes shrunk to pin pricks.
        
        Everything was gone. Her clothes, her jewels, personal mementos, even her crown. In its place, wall to wall panties; on the hangers, clipped to the walls, and in her displays. There was a note with Luna's name on the sticking out of one of the pairs. Twilight floated it down to her and opened it.
        
        

In the words of our sister,
        
        Gotcha.


        
        Twilight couldn't help but smile. Now she understood what Luna was trying to say when she left. It somehow made Twilight happy that Luna was able to pay her back over the joke yesterday. Not only was it her just desserts, but it made her feel closer, somehow, to Luna.
        
        "Looks like Discord was right, pranks make better friends," Twilight said through a giggle. "Now where is my stuff?"
        
        Twilight looked around hoping to find her things stuffed in a corner and out of site, but it was all panties. She found that she liked a few of the pairs and started looking through them during her search. After a few moments she shifted her priorities.
        
        Twilight giggled again. "Why not?" She said to herself as she pulled a few pairs she liked off the wall. No matter what, Twilight was a mare, and mares sometimes just like to feel sexy.
        



        
        Discord floated up through the floor of Twilight's room with his eyes closed and his posture straight. He was holding a silver plate while wearing a bow tie and vest; looking like a stereotype butler.
        
        "As a peace offering, my dear, I present you with breakfast in bed," Discord said before opening his eyes.
        
        He found Twilight standing on her bed with her back turned to him. Panties lay all around her; lacy ones, classic white ones, ones with bows or cute words on them, soft pink or baby blue ones, rose red or a playful purple, blue with black stripes, black ones with purple stripes. All of them were cute or adorable and fit Twilight perfectly, yet the best one was still halfway down her thighs. It was black with pink polka dots.
        
        The next thing Discord saw was Twilight's ceiling as he fell back and lost consciousness.
        



        
        Groggily, Discord slowly opened his eyes. The world was still cloudy but he could tell that the purple blob in the room was Twilight. As he lifted his head and got into a sitting position the purple blob walked up to him.
        
        "Lord Discord, you're awake," the purple blob stated.
        
        "What happened?" Discord asked as he put his claw on his head. His head pounded and pulsed, he had hangovers better than this.
        
        "To put it simply," She paused as if she had to think about it. "Your blood wasn't moving fast enough."
        
        Discord hated being talked to like an idiot. He was many things, but he was far from stupid.
        
        "Peripheral vascular disease." Discord said condescendingly. "Usually caused by atherosclerosis which in turn is cause by surplus platelets from either too much iron or autoimmune; my blood was not evenly distributed throughout my body."
        
        "We'll now; you've done more than rule kingdoms." She stated playfully. "But I'm not sure that's what happened. You didn't have a buildup of platelets anywhere. It's as if your blood just left your brain a little too fast; like it was drawn elsewhere in you. I think your body became excited way too fast."
        
        Discord resisted the urge to slap himself in the face instead he rested his head in his claw, his temple throbbing with more pain. "That would be your fault. Where did you get all those panties in the first place?"
        
        "My husband got me a few, saved our marriage it did. Can't believe how fast a stallion jumps on you just because of a pink piece of cloth."
        
        A few awkward moments passed by before Discord feverishly rubbed his eyes and blinked a few times. A mature, purple unicorn mare, with her mane up in a bun came into focus. She wore a white coat with a stethoscope around her neck.
        
        Discord knew that the doctor in front of him was trying to have a laugh at his expense. She was playing with fire.
        
        "Thanks for sharing, my dear, but I have to ask." Discord smiled menacingly. "Who broke their hip first?"
        
        "Hip? No. Pelvic bone." The physician gave him her own smile. "My hubby is a lieutenant and he saluted me for a week."
        
        Discord’s eyes widened a little bit. "You turned that around on me quiet easily."
        
        Discord took in his surroundings. He could tell that he was in the castle infirmary. Wall to wall white; he hated that practice. For some reason somepony came along and thought that if everything was white it would be more sterile. When he practiced medicine it was often on a bed of dirty hay with a bunch of farm animal watching over his shoulder. The lack of clothes in this era was convenient though, but he was starting to think otherwise with a certain mare.
        
        "I've had practice with smart mouths like yours." As she spoke she pulled out her otoscope and pulled him down by his ear.
        
        What's with mares tugging at me lately? Discord thought to himself as she looked him over.
        
        "I'm Celestia's physician. Despite her elegant and motherly demeanor she can be quite-"
        
        "Random." Discord finished her sentence. "I've seen her move the sun backwards just to watch a class of young student go a little insane while waiting for class to be over."
        
        The doctor giggled. "Her first time she thought it was be funny to switch my instruments around as I grabbed them, but my father warned me about her playful ways and I was ready."
        
        "Oh?" Discord commented wanting to hear more.
        
        "I went for a tongue press I came back with a cotton ball instead of a wooden stick." The doctor went on.
        
        "What did you do?" Discord asked.
        
        "Stuck it in her mouth anyways; she hasn't messed with me since." The two shared a laugh. "I'm Royal Pain by the way."
        
        Another awkward moment.
        
        "Your parents hated you," Discord said with a deadpan face.
        
        "No, my father had a sense of humor." Royal Pain pulled out a reflex hammer. "He was a doctor for the royal family and so was his father." She slapped it against Discord’s knee and it turned into a mallet. Her eyes went wide for a few moments before she went to the next knee, a smirk on her face.
        
        "I see you inherited his humor." Discord said eyeing the mallet being raised into the air.
        
        "Nope." Royal Pain brought the hammer down hard on his knee, but it squeaked harmlessly against his joint.
        
        "When Princess Twilight brought you here she asked me to give this to you after I made sure you were alright." Royal Pain floated a small amethyst into Discord awaiting claws; it was obviously enchanted. "I am to instruct you to press it against your forehead."
        
        Discord did so, and everything that Twilight had been trying to tell him about his new position and the sisters plans came flowing into his mind. Afterwards the crystal shattered into dust.
        
        "So…what was that?" Royal Pain asks as the glittering flakes of purple fell to the ground.
        
        Discord sighed. "That was the author pulling a cop out instead of properly filling in a plot hole he's left open for far too long."
        
        Royal Pain looked up at the spirit, an eyebrow raised. "You lost me there, Lord Discord."
        
        "Never mind." Discord said brushing his claw at her. "Could you tell me where the Princess is right now?"
        



        
        The doors to the conference room flew open as Discord marched through dressed in an officer-style coat with exaggerated medals on it. He tucked a cane under his arm, grasping its hilt as he marched across the room pompously.
        
        Unlike the many rooms made for political meeting and debates, this conference space had no window, simple décor, and was closed off to nonessential staff.
        
        This was a war room.
        
        "Don't worry everypony." Discord said as he strutted across the floor. "I'm here now."
        
        He approached a table full of Equestria's military heads of state with Twilight at the front.
        
        The captains of the Canterlot guard, Lunar guard, and Solar guard, the commander of the Pegasi army, and General Iron Hoof of the central equestrian army, or the CEA.
        
        The captains looked pretty much the same in their uniforms; same with the commander.
        
        Iron Hoof stood out. He wore no uniform but his look gave him all the authority he needed. Iron Hoof was a gray-blue earth pony with a military cut. There were five gold stars in a circle on his flank; the general towered over most ponies with a large, bulky body. His jaw was so round and gruff that it looked like it could be used to bludgeon a pony. He had his hind hooves up on the table, sitting in a position most ponies would deem uncomfortable. He expertly dangled a cigar out of the corner of his mouth, puffing away.
        
        Discord had no love for the military. Despite his nature he was a pacifist. He knew conflict was a natural part of life, but believed that it could be won with wit and little bloodshed. Sure he turned a few of his enemies into newts, but never killed them.
        
        Iron Hoof, however, he rather liked. He was a charismatic type, and those with that personality tend to enjoy and even respect life more than the gruff jarheads that made up most of the military. If Discord had to choose somepony to run the biggest part of the army it would be Iron Hoof. Luckily, he did.
        
        "Discord!" Iron yelled out, making everyone at the table jump. "I miss our chess games. I was just getting used to them getting up and walking around on their own." He took a puff of his cigar. "Rumor has it that you been courting a mare. Is that why you have been missing our dates?"
        
        Twilight ears perked up. She never knew Discord hung out with anypony else but her and her friends.
        
        Every time I figure him out a little. Twilight thought to herself.
        
        Discord sat down at the table. "Now now General, you know I only have room in my heart for you."
        
        Iron Hoof laughed; the other leaders felt awkward, even more so when Twilight also giggled.
        
        "Now that everypony is here I want to start," Twilight said as her mirth faded. "First, I would like to say that I hope to earn your trust and respect. I know that I did not make an effort to meet with any of you when my rule began. A mistake for some pony in my position but-"
        
        "Forgive my disrespect Princess Twilight," Iron Hoof interrupted. "But I believe I speak for everypony when I say that you have nothing to prove." The others nodded. "We have all served at the Princess' side and have indirectly served you as well. Furthermore we all knew your brother well. He was an amazing soldier under my command."
        
        "He was my CO," the Captain of the guard said.
        
        "And I was his CO in basic training." The Lunar Captain added.
        
        "He was a much decorated member of the army for a reason," Iron Hoof went on. "And he spoke about you with more pride than I’ve ever seen in a soldier's eyes. We may not be familiar with you on a personal level, but we all know you're a capable mare worthy of our trust."
        
        Discord randomly popped out from behind Iron Hoof's chair with a neon sign that read 'applause'. The sound of an invisible crowd stomping and clapping their hooves could be heard. After it died down he popped back into his chair.
        
        Twilight was starting to feel nervous and a little over flattered but Discord antics put her at ease.
        
        "Well gentlecolts, shall be begin?" Twilight floated a parchment over to the first captain to her right. "What I'm passing around is verification of the whereabouts of Queen Chrysalis. As you all know, her entire hive moves from mound to mound regularly as to avoid detection and retaliation."
        
        "I remember the reports," Iron Hoof stated as the parchment was passed to him. "A strategy that was working until the zebras and griffins started what they called the Scorched Ground tactic. They were finding the mounds and caving them in so they couldn't come back." He passed the parchment to Discord who had started taking the meeting seriously when he heard about them attacking the mounds.
        
        "Are they still employing this campaign?" Discord asked; his black mane standing on its ends.
        
        "No," he answered. "They promptly stopped after you and Princess Twilight urged them to cooperate with our goals."
        
        "Darn," Discord said as he gave the parchment to the commander. "I was looking forward to sushi flavored cupcakes."
        
        Twilight was the only pony in the room to understand his joke. At least she hoped it was a joke.
        
        "We ourselves have been keeping tabs on the mounds as well." Twilight went on. "We were hoping to send a convoy to communicate with her, maybe even establish an ambassador to or from the queen. Just like the zebras and griffins we always found the mounds empty. Now we have them but we don't know for how long. I have commissioned a list of unicorns that can use teleportation or utilize other spells to peacefully speak with the hive…but," Twilight sighed. "They have their own magic interfering with ours."
        
        "I know you wish for peace without bloodshed Princess Twilight," The pegasi commander stated. "But it's obvious that they have no interest in any talks with us. We may have to force them to the table."
        
        "You pegasi have always been the most aggressive of the ponies." Discord said out of the blue. He really didn't like the military. "Nothing says lets be friends than killing a few of their citizens and saying we won't stop until they talk to us."
        
        "Discord!" Twilight yelled, she agreed with the spirit but she needed to remain open-minded, there was no room for biased thought.
        
        Iron Hoof cleared his throat. "No offense to you or the Princess, commander, but Lord Discord is right. A hive is tighter knit society than most types of civilizations; each and every member are siblings, and all children of the Queen. If any harm comes to a single changeling there would be no peace talks."
        
        Discord reached into his coat and pulled out a small piece of candy. He stretched his arm across the table like it was made of rubber and handed it to Iron Hoof.
        
        "However," Discord took the candy back. "The commander also has a point,” added Iron Hoof. “From what we have learned from our intel, after their botched invasion, they are imperialistic minded on top of being a hive species. They will respond more to a show of strength than to an outstretched hoof."
        
        "I see what you're suggesting," the lunar guard said. "We need to show them we have a big stick without beating them with it."
        
        "What?!" Twilight did not like where this was going.
        
        "I'm afraid he's right, Princess Twilight," General Iron Hoof said. "Sometimes to be the bigger pony, you have to be the bigger pony."
        
        "That's not negotiating," Twilight said more passionately than she wanted to. "That’s bullying."
        
        "This isn't recess Twilight," Discord added, surprising her. "We may be trying to avoid an open conflict, but this is still war." Discord tried to give her his best ‘trust me’ smile…but he's never had that kind of face.
        
        "Wait, you agree with them?" Twilight asked.
        
        "It happens in nature all the time, my dear." Discord said as he twirled his eagle claw dismissively. "Predators bare their fangs at each other to show that they can kill but only to make the other predator reconsider attacking."
        
        "Boys!" Twilight slammed her hoof down on the table; she was getting tired of everypony trying to tell her violence and threats were the answer. "None of this matters, I'm the only one with enough magic to get into the hive and speak with Chrysalis, so a show of force is off the table." Twilight sighed and started to speak in a slow, defeated way. "I have to go in alone to even have a chance of making this work."
        
        Iron Hoof nearly dropped his cigar into his lap.
        
        "Absolutely not!" Discord yelled. His pupils became thin slits as his claws extended, digging into the table. A few of the captains became nervous of the spirit. "As advisor I reserve my right to veto! The law is clear; I can overrule a decision of war if it endangers the government or the people. That means you can't put yourself in danger, Princess." Twilight expected this from him, he had just gotten a taste of friendship, and she knew he would hold on to that desperately.
        
        "H-how do you know our laws so well, Lord Discord?" It was the commander that spoke, his position kept him out of the castle and giving him very little contact with the spirit. In his mind Discord was foreign to Equestria, more so than ambassadors.
        
        Discord calmed down, his eyes and claws became normal. "I helped write most of your laws with Celestia." Everypony in the room felt a little small after hearing that. If this was a week ago Twilight would have called him out on his claim.
        
        "Besides," Discord said with a smile. "I can get in and out of there with her in less than 30 seconds."
        
        "Kidnapping her is just as bad as killing one of her kind," Twilight retorted. "This is the best way, given the small window of opportunity."
        
        "No it’s not, you were not a princess when she was cast out." It was Iron Hoof that had become the voice of reason. "Think about it Princess, it was Shinning Armor and Princess Cadence that defeated her and it was Celestia that she revered. You were the mare that figured her out but nopony listened to. She won't see you as a political prisoner, just a source of revenge. You won't last long in her captivity."
        
        Twilight’s pupils dilated as she hung her head, she hadn't thought of that. She cursed herself for not considering that fact; she had almost walked herself into a death trap.
        
        "Princess," Twilight looked up. Discord was speaking in a soft voice, at a tone he's never taken before. "Don't you trust me?"
        


        
        A resounding flash of light and smoke announce Discord to the hive. The changelings all around him scattered like roaches on a kitchen floor.
        
        The structure around him was obviously a natural cave that they had altered to fit their needs. Structures made out of a green membrane-like material were anchored to the stalactites, and varied in size and use. Some looked to be holding still-growing changelings, while others were used for storage.
        
        The air had a musky smell that wasn't disagreeable, but extremely pungent. A humming sound reverberated from every direction. A small hole in the ceiling was the only source of light, but the glowing eyes all around Discord told him that they didn't need much light in the first place.
        
        The light coming through reminded Discord of a stage light; he couldn't resist. He strutted up to it, planning to announce why he was there. As he approached, his thunder was stolen as the dark frame of Chrysalis slowly moved into the light. The shadows moved over her dark exoskeleton like clouds racing over a valley. Her wings flittered and twitched as the light hit them; she kept the lower half of her body in the shadow. The look on her face was pompous and exalted as she looked down at the spirit. An entrance fit for a queen.
        
        "Tch," Discord clicked his tongue immaturely, he felt undermined that he lost the center of attention so fast.
        
        "Well," her tone dripped with superiority. "You are the dumbest looking thing that that I have ever come across, and considering you have just waltzed into my own hive it falls on me to state the obvious: you're as stupid as you look."
        
        Well aren't we off to a great start. Discord thought to himself as he resisted the urge to turn her into something slimy.
        
        "But your curious features may have just saved your life…" She paused dramatically. "Or stalled the inevitable. What are you?"
        
        "A draconequus, my queen." Discord bowed so low that his head nearly touched the cavern floor. "I go by the nam-"
        
        "You are dumb," Chrysalis interrupted. "Lying to me like that. Draconequus are half dragon half pony; don't think that by finding us in a cave that we live under a rock."
        
        "You must be well-traveled to be so familiar with my kind." The conversation was bringing back some old memories. "But I assure you I am a draconequus, certain events of fate led to…" Discord raised his lion paw into the air looking up at it. "Interesting changes in me." He let his arm drop and turned back to Chrysalis. "But it was not dumb curiosity that led me here. My presence is intentional; I am here to represent an old acquaintance of yours: Princess Twilight Sparkle."
        
        Chrysalis' ears twitched. "So they placed her on a pedestal? A fool leading fools."
        
        "Quite," Discord agreed. "But we are getting ahead of ourselves. Allow me some formalities. I am Lord Discord." he elegantly placed his talon claw on his chest and bowed again. "Twilight's personal advisor slash representative and," Discord smiled proudly. "Spirit of Chaos. I have come here to extend Princess Twilight's invitation to discuss, in person, the current conflict with the other nations that have been pursuing you."
        
        "So you've come to take me from my own home?" Chrysalis sneered. "In the middle of my hive?"
        
        "I'm the spirit of chaos; I won't have any trouble getting you and I out of here, and you will find my heart two sizes too small."
        
        "Oh?" Chrysalis smirked. "I see you are aware of our abilities, but I find your heart very interesting."
        
        The walls around Discord seem to be shifting as she spoke, the scuttering and humming noise picked up as Chrysalis’ smile widened.
        
        "You have more magic in you than any I have ever felt, a feast dropped in our lap that will turn the tide of this conflict."
        
        Discord suddenly stretched his body across the room and brought his face right up to hers.
        
        "Fascinating." He then twisted his whole body so that his head was staring at her upside down. "But how do you plan to do that."
        
        Chrysalis calmly answered, "Your heart is not so hollow."
        
        A few changelings came into the circle of light, Discord soon found himself surrounded.
        
        Discord lifted his back feet off the ground causing his body to snap together like a rubber band.
        
        He turned back to Chrysalis and took on a more serious tone.
        
        "Let me be direct. I'm here to save your species. All the lands around you want to wipe you out. I'm here to stop that. Don't do this Chrysalis, your people deserve to live like anyone else."
        
        The two kept staring at each other. A mental tug of war, it was almost as if the first to speak would lose.
        
        "Discord, is that you?" a voice behind Discord said.
        
        Discord rolled his eyes as he turned to what he knew would be a changeling.
        
        "No Fluttershy it's a pancake-", it wasn't Fluttershy, it was Princess Twilight Sparkle.
        
        "Discord, please make this work, we are counting on you, I'm counting on you."
        
        Discord blinked a couple of times and turned back to Chrysalis, he found her eyes closed.
        
        "Really? That's what you went with?" Discord asked as he jab a thumb at the changeling turned Twilight.
        
        "Trust me, it was enough" she opened her eyes, they had become incased in a green glow that was blinding in the dim light.
        
        "AHAHAHAHAHA EHHHEEHEHEH"
        
        "She sure does like to hear herself laugh."
        
        "Eh, amateur."
        
        Chrysalis stopped laughing and glared at Discord.
        
        "Are you talking to yourself now?" she asked him mockingly.
        
        "No, I'm talking to her" Discord pointed to Twilight.
        
        "What are you doing so close? Get back, there’s no telling what this one will do." She glared at Discord again.
        
        "What is she talking about?" Twilight asked Discord
        
        "N-nothing, nothing," He said quickly.
        
        Chrysalis realized that she was not in her hive any more, but in the great hall with the real Twilight.
        
        "How have I come here?" she demanded.
        
        Discord pointed to himself. "Spirit of chaos, remember?"
        
        "You fool! I'm more powerful than ever! And you bring me here?!"
        
        Chrysalis' horn glowed green as she readied an attack on them both. To her dismay her horn just flickered and died.
        
        "What?! Where did all my magic go?!" she cried out.
        
        "Spirit. Of." Discord put on a pair of shades. "Chaos."
        
        Twilight giggled a little. Then she turned her attention to the changeling queen.
        
        "I know you well enough to get straight to the point. Your kind is about to be dragged into a war you can't win, and it's not over land or resources. The other kingdoms see your kind as a pest and intend to treat you as such. We find this unacceptable, and I wish to intervene."
        
        Chrysalis gave Twilight a nasty look. "You and your kind are nothing but food, and you presume to assist me?!"
        
        Discord moaned. "It's the griffins all over again."
        
        "Chrysalis please-"
        
        "Please?!" Chrysalis yelled, interrupting Twilight. "You kidnap me and then start begging me? Is this how you offer your 'protection'?"
        
        Twilight tried her best not to raise her voice but Chrysalis had a talent of getting under her fur. "Then what will you do when the griffins and zebras catch up with you?"
        
        Chrysalis just sneered some more.
        
        "They already have," Discord said bluntly, both mares turned their heads to him in surprise. "You said 'this conflict', you already knew the griffins and zebras were trying to find you, which means they already did. How many of your children died before they relented?"
        
        Chrysalis bared her fangs at him. "We are not unacquainted with war. I have conquered many lands. The sheer number of my hive would overrun any army and my kind are far more resilient than you soft skinned mammals."
        
        "How many?" Twilight asked.
        
        "It matters not!" Chrysalis yelled. "Only a generation or two and my hive will be whole. I don't need any pity from ponies, from weaklings!"
        
        Twilight had had enough of Chrysalis’ pompousness, and she stomped off; you can't force unwanted help. "Just send her back Discord, let her deal with her problems."
        
        "What were they thinking when they put you in charge?" Chrysalis mocked. "Did I knock the sense out of Celestia when we last met? That's fine though, it will make our next invasion that much easier."
        
        Twilight stopped at the doors of the great hall. She could almost feel Chrysalis sneering at her back. She didn't want to admit it, but Discord was right. Sometimes peace had to be enforced.
        
        Discord looked down at Twilight, reading her like a book. He lowered his head down so she could hear him. "If you ask me she needs to be slapped around a few times."
        
        "Not even a spine to respond? No wonder I defeated your princess so easily, your kind has no merit, no real power. Protection? Ha!" Chrysalis turned her head pompously to the side. "I might as well hide under a bed."
        
        Twilight tried her best to ignore her, but the one thing that made her angry was stubbornness, especially when it was so self destructive.
        
        Discord rested his claws on her shoulder and stretched his neck behind her head whispering in her ear. His voice had a soft growl to it. Like a wild animal trying to egg her on.
        
        "She believes you're below her, I've seen it before. Like you’re dinner or trash. She finds you weak. Show her the truth, Twilight." He moved over to her other ear. "Show her some of your power. Just an ounce of what Celestia gave you should do it."
        
        Twilight head snapped around, surprised by his last comment. "How do you-"
        
        Discord gently held her chin and gave her a smile full of jagged fangs. "Show her Princess Twilight Sparkle."
        
        Twilight pulled herself away from his claw "Stop teasing me, Discord, it's not the time."
        
        Discord grew angry. His features became feral and dragon-like. He jumped in front of her, falling to all fours and blocking her way. "While I tease you, she mocks you. You strained the diplomatic relationship with two other nations to protect hers. You were willing to put your life in their hands to show mercy. Yet she is in there right now laughing at your back."
        
        "Princess, why don't you come back in here, you want a peace talk? Then why don't we talk about handing over your people and surrendering to my hive? I don't know why I was so worried about your kind, it must have been a fluke that you beat me last time. This is your chance to surrender before I pick your kingdom apart!"
        
        A flash of light from Twilight blinded Chrysalis. She rubbed her eyes and forced them to open.
        
        The seemingly unending body of Discord twisted, and coiled all around her; like a never ending snake. He had grown massive and filled every corner of the entrance. The room grew dark as his frame began covering the windows, blocking most of the light from them. The length of him was so grand that she couldn't find the fluff of his tail and he was still getting bigger. Soon there was more Discord than there were walls.
        
        A chandelier fell not too far from Chrysalis; she snapped her head back and found the head of the spirit looking down at her. Gone was his zany look, replaced with that of a predator. A mouth full of fangs the size of her body, scales climbed up his neck just shy of his jaw blending seamlessly with the fur of his pony head. His pupils became long and thin, adding to his dragon-like appearance; his black mane became long, and draped over his neck like moss from a ledge
        
        Chrysalis had been through something like this before; once trapped inside a cave with a hungry dragon, she was not impressed.
        
        "Trying to intimidate the queen of the changelings? Pathetic! Who are you to even attempt?" Chrysalis sneered.
        
        The clanking of metal on stone drew her attention down the hall, where the grand doors once stood.
        
        Twilight was approaching her from the ever twisting and moving mass that had become Discord. She had become taller. Her purple coat shone with magic and power; her mane grew in length as she did, draping around her neck and making its way down her front, nearly touching the marble floor. Twilight's hooves were encased in gold with a single prong going up her shin; like daggers protruding from each leg. The tiara encasing the element of magic rested atop her brow. As she walked ever closer to Chrysalis, her eyes glowed a brilliant white.
        
        When they were face to face, Twilight unfurled her wings and a wave of power radiated from her, knocking Chrysalis to the ground.
        
        Twilight’s eyes became blinding lights, her wing span doubled, dwarfing her body. Waves of heat flew off her body that were so powerful they made the changeling feel as if she was being roasted alive. Her coat became a dark purple, like the sky as the last ray of light from the sun left. The immense magic coming off her fogged the queen's vision, forcing her to strain in order to see.
        
        "We are Princess Twilight Sparkle, ruler Equestria!" Twilight voice came from everywhere and nowhere at the same time. "We embody magic." She took a step towards Chrysalis, whose legs shook as she stood up. "Chaos answers to our command." On cue Discord brought his massive head next her; his movement displaced so much air that the queen was knocked back down. Twilight ran a now oversized wing through his black mane. He blew steam from his nostrils as he relaxed. "And it is by our will that Lord Discord brought you here unharmed and unchanged."
        
        "You would have made a cute ferret." Discord's voice was not omnipotent like Twilight's, but it was as if a mountain was trying to speak.
        
        "Do not mistake our benevolence for weakness, and do not let your pride be the end of your kind. You are a queen, own that title and lead your people to a future that doesn't involve their extinction."
        
        As those words rattled through her mind, the world around Chrysalis came to a halt. Her own changeling instincts of adapting and blending in further persuade her to accept Twilight's terms. She wanted nothing to do with Twilight and her kind ever again, but she wanted everything for her hive. The power that has been gained by the princess since their last meeting was obvious; Chrysalis was fully aware she could not be dealt with through normal means.
        
        Between the heat radiating from Twilight and the hot breath of Discord, Chrysalis found it hard to breath the air around her; causing her to become dizzy and lightheaded. It took a tremendous amount of determination for her to climb to her hooves, her pride not yet extinguished.
        
        "Very well Twil-"
        
        "Address my princess correctly," Discord growled.
        
        If the sheer volume of his voice hadn't caused Chrysalis to fall yet again, she would have seen the curious look Twilight gave Discord. She did not expect such a phrase to come from him. Despite how loud his voice was, his tone deceived him. It was not the same that she had heard from countless other subjects in the kingdom. 'My Princess' was not a title or expression; there was real sense of ownership in his words. Twilight brushed the thought aside; more important matters were in front of her…literally.
        
        "Very well Princess Twilight Sparkle." The words came out of Chrysalis' mouth like a curse to be place on somepony. "I will..." She closed her eyes, forcing to words out of her. "Accept your help."
        
        "I'm glad to hear that, Queen Chrysalis," Twilight said in her normal voice.
        
        Chrysalis opened her eyes to a very normal Twilight and a normal, if he can be called that, Discord. All around her the grand hall was back to its original state. Even the chandelier that was once a crumpled mass of gold and crystals was now hanging high in the air where it belonged.
        
        Chrysalis' eye twitched. "What?"
        
        "My stewards will see to your lodging here in the castle," Twilight said while she ignored the dumbfounded look on the changeling queen’s face. "I have to make arrangements to escort some of your citizens into the castle so that we may begin work immediately. Unfortunately we have to resume negotiations after I return. I have been invited to a summit up north and will be gone for a week. Lord Discord will be representing me while I'm away."
        
        "Better leave soon, my dear," Discord said. "The train to Ponyville is a punctual one. I'll see to our guest."
        
        Twilight didn't fight him on this; she was excited to see her friends again. In fact she forgot all about her position as she ran out of the great hall.
        
        As soon as the door closed Discord stretched his arm across the great hall; grabbing Chrysalis by the neck and pulling her through the air to him.
        
        "'I'll play ball with Twilight," Discord said as he cupped her face in his claw. "But I still have my own style. If I even think that you might betray Twilight's trust and turn this into another pathetic invasion, I will turn your people into colony of gophers and drop you all in a hawk infested valley." He pinched her cheek patted her face mockingly.
        
        "Wow." She smiled and bared her fangs at him. "She really has you whipped."
        
        Discord smiled and taped her muzzle. "I'm sure you think that most of what you saw was an illusion. You'd be wrong." Discord got even closer to her, his eyes became feral and dragon-like, his black mane stood on its ends. He started whispering to her. "She's a star, and not the onstage diva kind. Twilight is a massive ball of unfathomable power, and like a star, to our naked eye she is just a cute little twinkle of light. The truth is that what you saw was a drop in the bucket of what she really is. If that mare sneezed the wrong way she could obliterate a city. Just ask Celestia about what happened when she was surprised by a sonic rainboom as a foal.
        
        "Me, whipped? Oh, no. I'm intrigued. I'm intrigued at what a walking, bottomless well of raw power will do with this world at her hooves." Discord smiled and bared his own, larger fangs, back at her.
        
        Chrysalis snorted at him. "What are trying to tell me? That you're some puppet master controlling something bigger than yourself? Have you forgotten what I am? You're enchanted by her, that's how I got to you."
        
        "Speaking of which." Discord's expression snapped back to its normally goofy look as he released her from his grasp. "I can warp the world around me to my whim. How did you pull that off?"
        
        "Think of the heart as having hooks with different sizes. There plenty of strings that can be attached to it, and the size of the hook show how much pull the string has. Twilight simply has the biggest hook."
        
        Discord understood her metaphor.
        
        "Ah, so even the most heartless can fall to your abilities."
        
        "In a way, yes," she answered.
        
        Discord was relieved; the trick she used on him had placed a weight of concern on his body.
        
        Discord turned to leave the room. With Twilight gone, he was now in charge and had a lot of plans in mind.
        
        Chrysalis spoke up before he left. "You might be interested to know that you must have a string to her heart in order for our magic to work on you."
        
        That weight just got a lot heavier.

> I am the Egg Man
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


The morning after Twilight’s departure to the Crystal Kingdom was met with emptiness. No guard or servant could be seen in the halls of the castle, the vast building appeared abandoned overnight. As the first rays of sunlight lit up the void a single door in the royal apartments opened and a white mare with a blonde mane stepped out into the hall.
Mary Blood’s eyes widen at the vacancy of the corridor. It was mandatory for an escort to be near a member of the royal family.
“Guard!” She yelled.
The air in front of her shimmered and sparkled; a pegasus assigned as her detail appeared out of nowhere.
“Bark!” he said before he bowed his head at her.
“Did you just bark at me?” Mary asked in disbelief.
“Yes, my lady,” The guard answered respectfully.
Mary narrowed her eyes at him but decided to let it go; she had far too many plans to be distracted.
“Guard, just ge-“
“Bark!” The guard interrupted.
Mary’s eyes widen as her jaw hung unhinged. “Did you just bark again? What is the meaning of this disrespectfulness?”
“My apologies, Lady Mary Blood.” He bowed again. “New castle policy; effective today when a guard is called on and or addressed as ‘guard,’ we are to bark.”
Mary frowned at the guard. “Who would enact such a ridiculous policy?”





“Lord Discord, is all this really necessary?” A guard asked the spirit.
Discord was strutting down one of the many hallways in the castle. Behind him his escort wobbled back and forth on a unicycle; he rested an oversized spork on his shoulder instead of a spear. His normally golden armor was red with black polka dot and his helmet was replaced with white turban.
“I am currently the ruler of Equestria,” Discord answered. “I must be protected.”
The guard glanced his spork. “From what, salads?” He said under his breath.
Discord abruptly stopped, making the guard nearly fall over as he tried to brake. “What is your name again?” he asked without looking back at him.
“Um…”
“Um? Is that a Greek name?” Discord mocked.
“What’s a Greek?” The guard asked.
Discord sighed. “Never mind; what is your name?”
“Spear Point,” he said proudly.
“Nope,” Discord said with a smirk. “Your name is now Spork End.”
“I’m rather fond of my real name, my Lord,” Spork End said with an uneasy voice.
“Well, Spork.” The guard cringed as Discord called him that. “You should have thought of that before mocking me.”
“But my Lord-”
“I can always make it Salad Spoon,” Discord interrupted.
“My name-”
“It’s quickly becoming Salad Tosser,” the spirit sang.
“Shutting up now, my Lord,” Spork answered quickly.
“Very good,” Discord said as he started walking again. The pair came to the spiral steps that led up to the guest bedroom of the tower. Many invitees of the royal family have passed through this room; politicians, ambassadors, foreign leaders, and personal friends; its current occupant was Queen Chrysalis.
“Wait here,” Discord requested as he flew up the stairs.
“Princess!” Discord cried out as he threw open the doors of the bedroom. Across the elegantly decorated room stood Chrysalis, her back turned to the door as she looked out the main window.
“I’m a queen,” She responded smugly without looking back at him.
“We all have our hobbies.” Chrysalis ignored his comment. “Forgive me,” the spirit went on. “There are so many princesses here.” Discord pulled on his goatee; the top of his skull popped open and the cartoonish head of Luna, Celestia, Candace, and Twilight sprang forth like they were jumping out of a jack-in-the box. “I feel like a clown at a spoiled filly party.”
Chrysalis smirked. “You will hear no argument from me.”
“So it does joke!” Discord commented as he shoved the princesses back into his head. As he pulled his claws away from his head he brushed against the flower that still grew there. Discord paused for a moment and felt the soft petals against the scales of his eagle claw.
Chrysalis groaned and rolled her eyes. “If you’re here for a purpose, get to the point; if not, I'm busy.”
“Yes, brooding alone in an empty room surely is hard work,” Discord teased, trying to get a rise out of the changeling. “You see, my current responsibilities have become overwhelming,” Discord said as he swooned. “Just look at this schedule!” He pulled a rolled up parchment out of nowhere and let the end of it fall to the ground. The paper unrolled itself and bounced a few time as it came to a halt at Chrysalis’ hooves. She picked the end of it and gave the agenda a glance. The to-do-list kept rearranging itself. One moment Discord was scheduled to greet some ambassador this evening then that appointment jumped to the morning, yesterday morning. “I just can’t keep up with it,” Discord added.
“No one could,” Chrysalis commented to herself.
“So I said to myself.” To the left of him another Discord, with a monocle on, popped into existence. The two spirits sat down in tall, red, elegant chairs, both of them holding teacups. They spoke in a thick, pompous, accent. “I say, Lord Discord, there is much to be done,” The left one said before sipping his tea. “Indubitably!” The right Discord responded. “However does the princess do it?”
“I am not amused,” Chrysalis said in a dry voice. “Get to the point.”
“You are a queen,” Discord said as the chairs and his clone vanished. “I need an assistant.” Discord raised his claws in the air. “And what better assistant for the Spirit of Chaos than one that can change their shape at will?”
Chrysalis scoffed at him but she turned around and faced him. “You want one of my changelings, my children, to service you?”
Discord pulled out paper fan from behind him, started fluttering himself and spoke in a high pitch southern tone. “Oh my, it sounds so dirty when you say it.”
“Just clarify what you want,” The Queen said with a groan.
Discord let his arms drop as he slumped forward with a scowl on his face. “I never thought I would find a being more drab and uptight than Luna.”
Chrysalis’ temple started to throb, irritated that he would compare her to one of the pony princesses. “Fine! If I give you one of my attendants will you leave me in peace?”
Discord clapped his claws and nodded.
“I suggest Hiss; Hiss’ only job was to wait on me. I am obviously away. The distra-” Discord snapped his claw and was gone before she could finish. Chrysalis sighed. “Three, two, one.” Discord came back in flash of light.
“They all look alike!” he exclaimed throwing his arms up in frustration.
Chrysalis chuckled lightly at the spirit.
“You laugh, but that was a raci- wait.” Discord pointed a claw at her. “You laughed!”
Chrysalis turned her muzzle up at him. “Your frustration entertains me, that is all.”
Discord picked up his schedule off the floor and began to roll it up, glancing at it just enough to see his next appointment. “So how am I going to find this ‘Hiss’?”
“We’re a hive.” Chrysalis said as she turned back around. “Did you try asking?”
Discord creased his brow and narrowed his eyes as he scolded himself under his breath. He snapped his claw again and was gone.





Discord popped back into the hive with a Chinese gong as tall as him and ready to go. He raised a leather beater, ready to rattle the entire hive, but froze when he looked around. The entire hive was wall to wall Twilights. All at once they spoke in unison.
“Hello, Lord Discord, want to play a game?”
“Err…um.” Discord mumbled to himself as he tried to remember why he was there. He shook his head until his eyes rattled in his skull. “Hiss?” He said, still uncertain.





Chrysalis turned around and faced the flash of light that had announced Discord’s return.
“I found him!” Discord exclaimed as he presented Hiss to her like it was gift.
Chrysalis gave the spirit an annoyed glare. She was getting tired of him. Everything from the way he talked to his hyperactive, and sometimes bipolar, personality twisted every nerve in her body. “Hiss is a female,” she growled.
Discord put “Hiss” down and started hovering around her like a bee to a flower; examining her features. He huffed as if he gave up on something and randomly lifted her hind leg to look under her.
“H-hey!” Hiss yelled and kicked him in the face knocking the spirits head off his body. She screamed with a shrill as Discord’s decapitated head bounced and rolled to a stop. Hiss dove behind Chrysalis. “I’m sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!” She yelled over and over.
“Calm yourself, child,” Chrysalis said in a stern voice. “He’s a trickster.”
Hiss took to the air, buzzing behind her queen and looking over her at the slumped, headless body on the floor. Her eyes started darting left to right as she tried to locate the head.
“What are you looking for?” A voice whispered into her ear.
“The head,” she answered without thinking about it.
“Oh, I’m right here!” Discord said.
“Holy pony tits!” Hiss yelled, the surprise made her lose control and fall out of the air. She landed on her back, barely missing her queen. She looked up at Discord’s floating head as it smiled down at her.
“This is going to be fun,” Discord mocked as he floated back to his body. His claws grabbed him out of the air and reattached him to the neck with sickening cracking sound as he twisted his head on right. “You changelings are so skittish.”
“I wouldn’t be so quick to judge, Discord,” Chrysalis said with a smirk on her face. “There is a reason I suggested Hiss.” The spirit raised an eyebrow in inquiry at the queen. “She likes to play games, just like you.” She answered.
The voice of Twilight reached the spirit’s ear. “Lord Discord?”
Discord’s eyes widen as he looked over and found the purple princess dressed up in the librarian costume he put her in just the other day. She let the thick rimmed glass slid down her muzzle as she looked over them at the spirit. “Could you help me understand the concept of being ‘naked’? I still haven’t grasped it.”
“Oh, and she can read the wants and needs of the heart,” Chrysalis’ smirk grew into a smile that took up half of her face. Her glee grew as Discord smug expression melted into one of embarrassment.
“Mess with me again and I’ll take your shape, walk right up to Twilight’s father and confess my love for him.” Hiss threatened. “I’m sure you’d love to hear Twilight call you daddy.”
Chrysalis could feel the lust, anger, and annoyance radiate from Discord as he looked down at her child in disguise. She let her body fed on the cocktail of emotions. The want of the princess filled her up; while the other emotions were like spices to the dish. She closed her eyes and enjoyed feeling of being sated. Then the queen nearly fell over when she felt a sharp pain in her gut. She felt like she hasn’t eaten in weeks. When she opened her eyes the world looked red and distorted. She could feel pressure pushing on the walls of her skull. Her body felt like it was running a fever that was boiling her brain. Just as she was about to pass out, it let up and her strength returned. Stunned and confused she looked to the only creature that may have an inkling of what just happened to her. She found Discord glaring at her. His normally round irises were thin slits and his mane was standing on end.
“W-what did you do?” Her voice was soft and humbled for the first time.
“Your body feeds off love and its corresponding emotions,” Discord answered as his features became normal. “So I figured that anger should be like poison to you.”
“That. Wasn’t. Anger.” She responded with heaving breathing; still shocked from the experience. “That…was hate. Now-.” She stopped talking and shook her head. Her expression became indifferent as she regained some of her composure. “Now I can handle a little hate in my diet, but what you gave me was a mountain of it-.” Chrysalis stop mid rant as it dawned on her just how dangerous this spirit was. She took a nervous step back from him. The queen thought him a clown. Here for only his own amusement. It was an act. Discord was violent; ether he made everything into a joke to keep that side of him tucked away or that darkness was overshadowed by the overwhelming power chaos inflicted upon him. “W-what are you?”
Carnival music suddenly started playing. The chandelier turned into a disco ball. The floor became zebra stripped and the rug polka dots. The chairs and tabled began dancing on the ceiling. The canopy bed started bucking around like a bull at a rodeo. The desk lamps started melting as if they were wax next to a fire. Papers that were on the desk got up folded themselves into paper airplanes and took off. They flew in circles around Discord as he walked up to Chrysalis. He grasped her head gently. Chrysalis grinded her teeth together; wanting desperately to bite off the claws that dare touch her. “I’m the spirit of chaos. Haven’t we been over this?” He got close enough to feel her breath on his chin. His voice lowered to a more ominous tone. “It will do you well to remember that.”
Chrysalis tried to pull herself from his grasped but found his claws digging to the back of her head.
“H-Hiss!” She stammered in a near panic.
The changeling came to her queen’s defense in a bizarre way. She jumped up between him and Chrysalis. Still in the form of Twilight Sparkle and gave Discord a big, exaggerated, kiss on the lips.
“Oh, Discord!” Hiss mocked as she touched her lips. “Our first kiss.”
Discord’s eye twitched a little. He pulled a toothbrush out of the air, rubbed a bar of soap on the bristles and started brushing his teeth till his mouth foamed; afterwards he shoved the utensil into his ear to scrub the inside of his brain.
Chrysalis rolled her eyes at the spectacle before turning to Hiss. “Child, I want you to assist this spirit like you have me. Report to me anything you may find unusual-” She looked back up at the spirit and watched him detach his hoofed leg and proceeded to beat his own head with it. “Never mind, just keep me up to date.” Hiss gave her queen a respectful nod.
“You have what you want, Discord,” Chrysalis said as she went back to brooding in front of her window. “Now, leave.” She flicked her tail at the door directing him to the exit.
Discord, dizzy from his self-induced amnesia, stumbled through the door with Hiss behind him.
“Well, my little assistant,” Discord spoke as they descended the staircase. “As gleeful as it would be to see every other pony freak out at the site of you, I’m afraid that such a distraction would outweigh its entertainment value. Do you have to mimic somepony, or can you take any shape you want?”
“I can take whichever form I want, but my talents are unique to only a few changelings. Most of us have to mimic another creature. I, however, have complete control over my form and can also change my weight and size. Not even our queen can do that. It’s why I was picked.” Her voice carried a proud tone of her abilities. “I’m assuming you want me to take a form that is less…distracting?”
Discord hesitated with his answer. He stopped and stood there half ways down the steps, staring at the changeling. What did she mean by ‘why she was picked’? How did her abnormal skill contribute to her becoming the queen’s aide? It wasn’t exactly a required qualification. He made a mental note of what she said and moved on.
“By all means make it distracting as can be. Just make it a pony, at least,” He answered after a few moments.
“I’ll just take a form I like.” She answered as she closed her eyes. Green magic encased the changeling for a split second and she emerged a blue pegasus with a long and curly red mane and heart shaped cutie-mark with wings on either side.  “There, this way I can still fly around.”
“Good enough. So tell me, Hiss,” Discord spoke in a knowing voice. “What is the first item on my schedule?”
Hiss unrolled the parchment she had tucked under her wing.
“Ummmm…..”





Chrysalis almost jumped out the window when her door was nearly kicked down.
“Princess!” Discord yelled as he walked through her door…again. “Guess who has a meeting with you!”
The changeling queen proceeded to smack her face over and over against the wall she was leaning against.





 
Discord struggled as much as he could. The horrific tool of torture pressed against him, harder and harder until the point of pressure tore through his skin. The bright red liquid of life spilled out from him. His features scrunched up in pain, his tail curled up as he tried to roll into a fetal position.
“Please stop!” Discord pleaded in vain. “I-I’ll do anything. I’m powerful you know. Not just with magic. I can give you any kind of life you want!”
His violator just ignored him as she withdrew her instrument.
“Really now, Discord,” his tormentor said. “You should reserve your strength. This has just started.”
“How long have you planned this?” He asked in whimper.
“The timing was difficult. You are the spirit of chaos after all. But I have done the same to Celestia and Luna, so I already had everything ready.” The purple mare picked up another instrument to use on him.
Discord eyed the pointed object hoping it would disappear. He wasn't sure how long he will last or if he would ever be the same. Color drained from his body as it shook.
“Dont worry,” she reassured him. Only her tone seem to mock his discomfort. “I don't plan to keep you around for long. I’m just going to take a little bit of you to keep.”
Discord's uneven eyes filled with water, but he seemed to have given up and accepted his fate.
“Tears? Really? I’m just drawing some blood.” Royal Pain sighed as she collected the sampled from his arm. “To think that you of all creatures has trypanophobia.”
“It’s my blood and I like it where it is!” He yelled half-heartedly.
The physician just ignored him as she stored the sample away in a pocket dimension.
“If my file on you is correct.” As if her own words were a cue she pulled out folder with only a few pieces of papers in it. “You’ve been incased in stone for a few thousand years. You're going to need some updated vaccines.”
“No more needles, you barbarian!” Discord yelled from atop of the examination bed. He glared at Hiss out of the corner of his eye. “You put me here!”
“I did not! It was in your schedule. All I did was send notice ahead of us to Dr...I’m sorry - what was your name, again?”
“Pain.” Royal Pain answered without looking at her.
“Your name is Dr. Pain?” Hiss asked as it sunk into her head. “Wow.” She said under her breath.
“Lucky for you Discord, I do have alternative to an injection.” From out of behind her she levitated a rather large pill.
“That’s going to be a difficult to swallow.” Discord said as he eyed the yellow and red capsule.
“Don’t worry,” Royal Pain said with an endearing voice. “You won’t be swallowing it.”
The doctor stood there watching Discord as he put it together. He hooped off the table and snapped his claw. His midsection became concealed by pair of iron greaves. A metal chain wrapped itself around his waist like a belt then Discord bolted it all together with a padlock. He spun around in place, wiggling his rear to Royal Pain while a black and white sign hung from his tail that read “Exit Only”
The doctor gave him a small smile and tilted her head slightly. “It’s cute that you think this is my first rodeo.”
Discord look back at her over his shoulder, a bead of sweat inched its way down his temple as he gulped.
Royal Pain’s smile grew as did the magic around the pill. It vanished with a familiar puff of magic as she teleported it into the unwilling spirit.
“Eeek!” Discord squeaked. His body went rigid and his tall stood straight up. The spirit clenched his teeth and squeezed his claws. He didn’t dare move.
“Lord Discord?”  Hiss said as she tried to come to her new master’s aid. “Is something bothering you?”
Discord slowly turned his head to Hiss, his body still unmoving. “Its…warm,” He whispered to her in a squeamish voice.
“I bet he’s more bothered than he’s ever been before.” Royal Pain stated.
Discord swung his head around and glared at the physician. “Bothered? You are a bravura quack berating my wellbeing; even as I bar you from my behind you brunt my buttocks with a burglary of antibodies to beseech my bowls of its blight and bereavement. Bothered? I am betrayed and you are a brute.”
Without batting an eye at the Spirit’s rant Royal Pain pulled out his file from the cabinet behind her and started scribbling.
“What are you writing?!” Discord asked as he yanked the folder from her magic. He opened it to the last entry and read. “Subject becomes agitated and poetic after sphincter arousal?!”
“What’s a sphincter?” Hiss asked.
Discord looked up from his file at the doctor. “You are an evil mare.”
“What’s a sphincter?” Hiss asked again.
Dr. Pain took the folder back and filed it. “The Spirit of Chaos calling me evil; that’s going in me résumé.”
“You’re a sphincter, doctor!” Discord yelled as he stormed out with Hiss on his tail.
“Really, my Lord, what is a sphincter?”





 
“Asshole!” Mary Blood yelled as soon as the door to her private study was closed. Her room matched the architecture of the other royal chambers: a bed, desk, and a closet. Only there was no balcony, nor windows. Her decor gave little hint to her personality. Only family portraits and heirlooms covered the walls and table tops. There was, however, a distinct lack of anything to do with her father.
“Where does that spirit get off changing the policies of this castle? The only reason he’s in charge is because of a clause in an ancient bill. Celestia be damned if I'm going to let that thing mock me and my house; and damn his little purple hussy, too.”
“Such words from a mare of your position.” A gruff voice said.
Mary glared at the stallion that plot himself on in her chair just behind her desk. He sat oblong in the chair with his hooves right on top of some paper work.
“You should remember your own position, Iron Hoof, before coming into the chambers of a royal family member. I could have you stripped of everything just for sitting there.”
Iron Hoof sucked on his cigar making the end glow red. “You could indeed, my Lady, but I wouldn’t be useful to you anymore.”
“I take it you’re here for a reason, then?” She huffed.
“You told me to keep tabs on Princess Twilight’s little campaign. I thought you might like to know that Queen Chrysalis was captured last night and is up in the tower guest room waiting for our new princess to return. The changelings have agreed to peace talks with her.”
He took another big puff of his cigar.
“Any number of things could happen to our guest during this week that would make Twilight look very foolish. Even go as far as to shatter any chance of reaching a treaty with those things.”
A smile crept along Mary’s face. “Is she guarded?”
Iron hoof smirked as well. “I’ve been given no such order.”





“Assassin!” Discord yelled as he ran back inside from the garden.
“Um...that’s a bee.” Hiss said after a moment of confusion. “And if you want to keep up with your schedule I suggest you stop being...” Hiss paused as she tried to find the right words. “You.”
Discord came back and started to speak in a Shakespearean voice. “Who could hope to be I, if not myself?” As he spoke he led them further into the garden and out of anypony’s immediate sight. “Thee? I think not. For only I am best suited to be myself. But my role you could claim, unless you speak.”
“I understand not what you say.” Hiss mocked.
Discord brought his head down to her ear. “Turn into me and just walk around the castle until today’s court.”
“Plan to play hooky, my Lord?” She asked.
“No, just chess.” Discord teleported away.
“More like you don't what the other ponies knowing what you're doing right now, but my queen will.”





 
Iron Hoof leaned forward over a wooden chessboard with crystal pieces. He sat in a rarely-used room in the lower levels of the castle. The parts in front of him were arranged randomly; at least to the untrained eye. Iron Hoof’s own eyes strained at the bored. He could see how his next move would force his opponent go on the defense. One option he had would do the opposite. Lulling the opposition into false confidence; allowing Iron Hoof to predict his next move. He reached out with his hoof to his queen.
The head of crystal piece swung around with Discord’s face on it. “No, no, no, Iron Hoof, it was my turn.”
While most would have jumped out of their fur, Iron Hoof was more put off that he just wasted the last 10 min strategizing when it wasn't his move anyways.
In a white flash Discord sat on the other end of the wooden battlefield.
“I almost thought you weren’t coming again,” Iron hoof said to the spirit.
“I had to put a decoy out there. My pawn became a queen...sort of.” Discord moved a foot soldier, blocking one of Iron Hoof’s.
“I just moved my own into position,” Iron Hoof said as he pushed his pawn within striking range of Discord’s that was blocking; an enticement for the spirit. The old general wanted to clear the way for a few pawns; he hoped to get two queens on the board.
“Still thinks that you’re her bishop?” Discord smirked as he took the bait. He didn't mind a small arms race.
“How’s our latest addition to the game?” Iron Hoof asked as he positioned his bishop to protect his forward pawn.
Discord picked up a knight and looked it over. “She's reluctant to play along but she’ll be a strong piece.” He placed it in range of Iron’s rook to make him choose between that and protecting his pawn.
“A lot of our power is away right now, including our most important contributor,” Iron said as he moved his queen and put Discord’s king in check saving both his rook and pawn.
“Ponies often forget that the king and rook share a special relationship.” Discord castled his king, moving it out of danger and making Iron’s queen vulnerable. “That relationship will allow us to take center stage. When that happens, most ponies will follow you and listen to me.”
“So I am to be the walrus?”
“And I the egg man.”  
	
	
	
	
	
> I have Five Holes in My Head, What's One More?
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


The Lord of the Court walked aimlessly through the castle halls. His ear twitched when he felt Hiss catch up to him in mid flight. 
“Lord Discord.” 
The spirit looked down at assistant in pony form.
“Princess Twilight Sparkle is looking for you.”
Discord smirked. “After what I did I would imagine she would be hunting me down rather than just looking for me.”
“She did blow up the throne room.” Hiss said with a casual voice.
“Wait till she finds out what you are.” Discord commented.
“I’m just a changeling.” Hiss retorted.
Discord rolled his eyes at her. “You are as much a changeling as I am a bird.” He twirled his eagle claw at her.
Hiss stopped walking forcing Discord to halt if he wanted to finish the conversation. “If I'm not a changeling then what am I?”
Discord spun around on the back of his heels and touched his lower lip. “Hmmm. Don’t really know but I’ll find out. I could just ask the queen.”
“You will leave my queen be.” Hiss said sternly. “You have caused her enough stress.”
“There you are!” Down the hall a purple blur raced toward Discord.
“Nice knowing you.” Discord said with a smile.
Twilight smashed into the chimera’s midsection launching them down the hall. Discord’s body slammed into the stone floor several feet from Hiss.
As the dust cleared Discord was on his back with Twilight sitting on top of him. She was breathing heavily with red shot eyes and her teeth grinding together.
“Choose your words wisely.” The young princess threatened. “You may just end up on my wall.” 
Discord smirked. “You like being on top don’t you?”
CRACK!
Discord head was in a crater with Twilight’s hoof on top of it. 
“Regret.” Discord’s voice echoed from the hole.
“You dethroned me you twisted abomination!” Twilight yelled. “You had one job this week, one job. I did expect to come back to fun house for a castle but to lose my position! The buck Discord! I trusted you! What do you have to say?”
Discord reached into the crater and tug at the flower still growing out of his head. He pulled himself up like he was a weed. The spirits left eye was swollen and black. “I'm happy you’re back.”
Twilight anger subsided a little the tension in her expression soften as well.
“I know you enough that you don’t do anything without reason.” Her anger was clung to every word. “No matter how crazy it is. So I’ll give you a chance to explain.”
“Great but you might want to get off me. That’s not a role of bits poking at your-“
CRACK! 
Discord’s head was in the floor again. 



The doors open to Twilight’s unlit room. That darkness was pierced by purple bolt that shot across the room and lit most of the lanterns. As the pair walked in Twilight opened her balcony door hoping the fresh air would keep her nerves cool. 
“Ok Discord.” Twilight said as she hopped onto her bed and sat on her hunches. “Let’s start with Chrysalis. You almost got her killed. At least that’s what I have been told. I want to hear it from you.”
Discord flew over and sat down next to her. The moment his bottom hit the bed Twilight magically slammed him into the ceiling. His now flatten body floated down to the floor like a feather falling to the ground landing in front of the princess. 
Discord stuck his thumb into his mouth and blew himself back up. He pouted and gave Twilight his best puppy dog eyes.
“Don’t give me that look.” Twilight huffed and looked away. “You’re lucky you’re not a fountain right now.”
“And the birds pooping on me?” Discord joked.
Twilight expression was unchanged but the spirit did catch the corner of her mouth twitch a few times. 
“Remember those days?” Discord reminisced. 
Twilight raised an eye brow at her advisor. “That was last month.”
“Really?” Discord said in surprise. “It feels like it was sixteen months ago.”
Twilight blink a few times. “Um, ok. So tell me what happened with the Chrysalis? How did an attempt on her life get past you? And what the buck did you and her changelings do to Prince Blue Blood?”
	
> Dedicated To My Left Shoe; May It Rest In Peace 
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	

Twilight rubbed her temples with her hooves. “Ok, Discord what happen to Chrysalis?”
“Nope!” Discord said with a huge smile on his face; right before he was slammed into the ceiling again. 
A familiar scene played out in front of Twilight as the spirit blew himself up again. 
“Do that too many times and I might start to enjoy it.” Discord said as he rubbed his head. “I would like to explain the events that have entertia-er damaged our dear prince.”
“Uge!” Twilight groaned as she lied back on her bed. “Fine I don't care just start somewhere.”

“So I knocked on his door-”





Blueblood open the door slowly his two friends relaxing in his room.
“Hey kids. How are you doing?” Discord asked as he walked in with Hiss right behind him. 
One of Blueblood’s friends tried to get up off the couch. Discord raised his claw to the stallion “Hey keep chillin.” The stallion laid back down with a look of fear in his eyes. Discord gave him the thumbs before addressing everypony in the room. “You know who we are? We’re associates of your business partner, Marsellus  Wallace.” He paused and looked around the room. “You do remember your business partner don't you?” He asked sternly. No one answer. “Now, let me take a wild guess here.” Discord went on. He looked between the two stallions that were there with Blueblood “You’re Brett, right?” He asked as he pointed to the stallion eating at the table. 

“Yeah.” Brett said with a tone of defeat. 

“I thought so.” Discord started address the stallion Brett directly and walked up to him. “You remember your business partner, Marsellus  Wallace, don’t you, Brett?”

“Yeah.” Brett answered nervously. “I remember.” 

“Good.” Discord stated. “Looks like me and Hiss caught you colts at breakfast.” 

As if cued, Hiss walked over to Blueblood’s bar and started helping herself to their meal. 

“Sorry about that.” Discord went on. “What are you having?”

"Vegi-burgers." he answered slowly, as if trying to figure out if the lord of chaos was asking an actual question, or if he had an edge to something so simple.

"Vegi-burgers!” Discord exclaimed. “The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast.” 





“That’s enough, Discord.” Twilight said as she rolled her eyes. “You really think I haven't read Tarantino’s work?”

“Well, then there is only one thing to ask.” The spirit smirked. “What was in the briefcase?” 

“There are a number of hypotheses, my favorite is the one where-.” Twilight went wide eyed and shook her head; she then glared at the trickster. 

“Somepony’s a fan.” Discord sang as he started flying circles above Twilight and her bed. 

“Discord!” Twilight yelled. “You have turned my whole world upside down in less than a week!”

A flash of light Twilight bed turned into a couch. The force of the spell made her lay down on her back. Discord appeared in very tall chair. He wore glasses and held a quill with paper. 

“We need to find the source of your anger.” Discord said with an english accent.

“It’s not far.” Twilight said through clenched teeth. “Discord if you just give me a straightforward and honest explanation I’ll do anything you ask.”

Discord looked at her over his glasses. “Anything?”

“But just one thing.” Twilight quickly pointed out.

Discord threw his writing utensils up in the air and everything went back to normal in a flash of light. “Deal,” he said. “I want you to have a sleepover with me.” 

“A what!?” Twilight nearly yelled. 

“Invite all the girls and we can braid each others manes.” Discord clarified.

“I-I-I” Twilight stammered. “W-what are you up to?”

Discord put his claw on his chest and looked hurt. “Can I not have a wonderful night with my friends after missing them all week?”

“Fine,” Twilight said in a defeated voice. “I’ll let the girls know. Now please start with Chrysalis.”

Discord stood up from his chair and dispelled it. “Oh, Hiss, darling.”

Twilight’s door cracked and the changeling in disguise poked her head in. She had an annoyed scowl on her face; most likely from the tone Discord was taking with her. 

“Take the night off, dear.” He said in a sweet voice.

Hiss silently closed the door. 

“You know.” Discord smirked and looked over at Twilight. “Explaining all this is going to take all night.” There was a twinkle in the corner of his eye.

Twilight sighed. “It’s not like you haven’t spent the night in my bed before-ooff!” 

Discord nearly knocked the air out of Twilight as he tackled her on the bed. He forcefully snuggled her as she tried to get away from his grip. Twilights fur stood on its in as she unsuccessfully pulled herself from Discord arms. 

“Why do you resist?” Discord purred. “I know you missed me to.” 
“That doesn't mean you can treat me like a stuff animal!” Twilight grunted.

Discord suddenly let go of her; the rubber band effect nearly flung Twilight off the bed.  

Bewilder, Twilight looked back at Discord and saw that he looked a little surprised. “You really did miss me?”

Twilight discontented demeanor finally subsided. “Why wouldn’t I? You're my friend Discord just like the girls and Spike.” Twilight gave him a smile the first one all evening. 

Discord didn’t return the smile. Instead he started grumbling under his breath. He did, however, felt a little better about the evening. 

“Come my princess, let me tuck you in and I’ll tell you a story.”



A/N: Yea so Discord has been friend zoned if no one caught on to that. 

> Can Pegasus Have Sex Mid Air? 
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	Prince Blueblood woke up looking like anything but princely. His mane look like somepony poured beer on his head, his eyes were red and baggy, and he had a tie on that was wrinkled to high heaven. 

“Ohhh.” He whimpered as he looked around. The light in his room was brighter then it normally was. The many empty wine bottles and scotch explained the jack hammer going off behind his eyes. The floor was a snow pile of clothes from all levels of class. “Looks like I let anypony in last night.” 

He looked to his left and could make out the shape of a mare next to him. “I hope you’re not one of the maids again.” As tried to climb out of bed he could feel just how raw his legs were. The pain stopped him in place. “Oh, my, that hurts. What did that mare and I do last night?” 

He scanned the room for more clues of the night before; his eyes widen as his blood rushed to his hooves. On his study was very old very valuable one of a kind whisky bottle that was easily over a thousand years old; and also very much empty. 

“Oh, dear!” The prince said as he sat straight up. “Auntie Celest will not be happy.” Blue Blood said out loud. He felt movement as the mare stirred and leaned on him. He just ignored her. His mind was buzzing around trying to find some way out of the predicament that he woke up to. Lying to her was out of the question, that mare would see straight though him. That bottle was truly one of a kind so there was no replacing it. 

“Oh don’t fuss about the bottle sweetie.” The mare whispered into the stallion’s ear. “We had a lot of fun with it.”

Blueblood started to sweat bullets; he recognized the voice. Slowly he turned his head. You could almost hear his neck twist around as the look of horror filled his face. Finally the mare came into view. Her white fur and magical mane was distinctive. 

“A-au-auntie Celest?” Blueblood stammered.

Celestia nuzzled his cheek. “Yes, dear?” She answered lovingly. 

Blueblood’s lower lip began to quiver then downright shook. He leapt out of the bed landing right in front of his door wanting desperately to get away from his room and try forgetting what may or may not have happened. 

“Oh, Little Blue dear.”

The prince froze as if somepony cast a spell on him. There was only one pony that called him Little Blue. 

Slowly he felt his muscles tighten, the tendons in his neck pull on his bones, and his joints grinded against each other. His eye strained and became blood shot as they implanted themselves into the far corner of his face. Sweat raced down his face; his sight bent to the curvature of the earth, and his ears felt muffled. His head turned and turned until the mare in his bed came into view.

“Come back to bed, dear.” The white and blond mare said as she patted the spot next to her. “Let mommy tuck you in.”




Twilight stared at Discord slack jawed.

“You didn’t?” She said.

“Yes, I did.” The spirit answered.
“You, did not?” Twilight repeated. 

“Oh, yes.” Discord answered with a big grin. “I did. But, wait, there’s more!” 






Prince Blueblood smashed through his doors and ran down the hall as if his tail was on fire. He had no destination; his broken mind couldn’t think that far ahead. The only orders he got from that useless slab of proteins was “Run!” and he obeyed. 

He obeyed it right around the corner knocking over another mare causing them to tumble across the floor with Blue Blood’s face landing in a very precarious part of the ponies’ body.

“Oh, my, are you hungry, Little Blue?” The mare asked.

Blue Blood’s face shook in terror as he looked up at his mother. 

“It’s been a long time but I may have some milk in me.”

The young prince looked like he was about to scream. Instead his eyes went dead and he passed out in a pool of his own drool.





“You traumatized the youngest member of the royal family!” Twilight yelled. She tried to get up but Discord kept on tucking her back in before she got completely loose. Twilight forgot about her anger as the situation turned into a game for them. 

Twilight got her left front hoof loose just as Discord tucked the blanket under her right shoulder. As he force her back under the covers Twilight successfully freed her right hind hoof and began playfully kicking the spirit with it. 

Feeling like he was losing the battle, Discord drastically increased his speed and Twilight found herself wrapped up like a swaddled foal.

“Cheater!” Twilight accused assuming Discord used magic to move as fast as he did. Twilight lit up her horn and unfurled herself. In the same instant she wrapped up her adviser and anchored the sheets to the posts. Essentially Discord was tied to the bed. 

Discord found himself on his back unable to move very much. The bed covers were wrapped around him and the bed. They snaked around his arms and legs tying him to the bed posts. Twilight sat on his chest triumphantly.

“Ha! What do you say to that?” Twilight smirked at him.

“I say we’re one red ball gag away from having one hell of a night.” Discord smirked.

“You gagged and unable to move sounds very tempting.” Twilight tease back. “But I need to know what happened with Chrysalis.”

“Fine but, um, could you get off me?” Discord asked.

“Why?” Twilight teased some more. “Is this getting hard for you?”

Discord didn't look at her when he answered. “You could describe it as that.”

Twilight went red and hopped off without another word. 
	
> This Chapter Is In the Wrong Place
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

       “Kah! Kah!” Discord cried out. “Kah!” He yelled out one more time as his head popped out of the bushes. 

Iron Hoof’s buzz cut mane popped up next to the spirit. “What are you doing?” He asked with a sneer.

“I’m signaling you.” Discord answered.

“I’m right next to you, you dope.” Iron’s voice pitched with annoyance.

Discord sighed. “And yet you didn’t read the signal very well, did you?” 

Iron Hoof ignored Discord. “We’re here to observe the changeling queen, not be observed.”

A smug and vacant look grew on Discord’s face. “Just what are you getting at, comrade?” 

Iron groaned. “I’m saying, tone it down. We don’t want to draw attention to ourselves; and don't call me comrade. I’m not a griffin.”

“Oh.” Discord looked up. “Then I should probably take that down.” He said as he pointed up. 

Above the pair was a huge flashing neon sign that read:




Discord and Iron’s hiding and spying bush.




Iron Hoof face hoofed.

Before the two started chatting again the sound of stone being ripped apart awoke the castle. The tower that was once Chrysalis’ room was smashed open from the inside out. Boulders of debri fell from the structure as a large black figure that resembled a winged snake uncurled itself.  The size of the creature should have made the rest of the tower crumble under its weight, but ancient stone wasn’t the only thing holding this castle together.  Its skin resembled  greased leather. Bony protrusions covered an overly segmented body that ended in a hooked beak like mouth full serrated teeth. Three solid green almond eyes that stood up vertically glowed in the night.

Two winged figures shot out from the under the creature. The snake lunged forward with its mouth open ending one of the escapees. The other was snapped out of the air by the tail. 

“Those are griffins!” Iron Hoof yelled. 

Discord’s body exploded into the mother of all growth spurts. His body grew to same size as the black snake. His features became much more feral while tentacle like whiskers grew from his muzzle. He shot up into the air and grabbed the tail. 

“Don’t kill him!” He yelled at the snake. The creature turned its attention on Discord and grew two extra heads out of its body and attempted to gain the upper hand by wrapping around his neck. The moment it squeezed his throat; Discord disappeared with a pop and a shower of lollipops that rained down everywhere. The heads turned to its captured prey. It started to laugh a deep laugh as it looked down to its tail holding a giant cone of cotton candy.

In a flash of green the creature was gone. 





“That’s what attack Chrysalis?” Twilight asked dumbstruck. 

“No, of course not.” Discord answered as he waved a dismissive claw at her. “That’s what defended her. 

“Wait.” Twilight eyes widen, putting it together. “You mean the griffons?”  

“Yep, but they were just a couple of hired thugs.” Discord assured her. “Not loyal to anypony or government. So there isn’t any concern of war with the griffins. 

“What did you get out of the griffin?” Twilight asked. 

“We’ll come back to that.” Discord clarified. “On to story number three.”





Discord stepped out of the castle barracks where the, would be assassin, was being housed. The small tower sat just outside the main structure.   

Iron hoof waited outside puffing his fifth cigar that night. He looked up at the spirit waiting for some answers. 

"Don't worry he is still alive." Discord reassured him. "Not very sane right now though. You know when I ruled there was a dungeon." 

The odd pair made their way back to the castle. 

"The princess turned the dungeon into a viewing hall long ago." The general took a puff. Iron Hoof nodded to the guards at the entrance as its shadow took them in. "I am surprised you took on the interrogation; you being so against violence and war."

Discord took the air floating alongside his friend. "Interrogation is more productive without torture."

"So it was a normal interrogation?" Iron Hoof asked as a guard opened a door for the two. 

Discord blew a dismissive raspberry at the old soldier. "Na, that’s too boring, but I have my methods. Showing one's conception is a good start. Playing polka hip hop was a nice touch; told him the same joke over and over again for two whole hours till he started screaming at me to stop. Read out loud the entire series of Twilight, the book not the princess, but that back fired a little. I eventually made him believe that he was a changeling all along and he just betrayed his queen." Iron Hoof nearly dropped his cigar out of his mouth. "He's still in tears begging for forgiveness."





"It's midnight my dear." Discord said shaking Twilight out of her trance.

"So? Keep going. I want to know what happened next." Twilight yawned. She caught the corner of  Discord’s lip curled in triumph. "T-that didn't mean anything!"

“It means sleep, and you will need it. Tomorrow is a new day with a new government."



Extra scene: Discord explains the people’s representatives of the new government. (Kind of like Congress only higher approval ratings....)




“So let me get this straight, you divided the power of the royal family into three parts?” Discord gave Twilight a nod. “The royal family keeps their claim to the land so that there job is to maintain the country; taxes, schools, roads, government workers, all that legistics. However, each region will elect representative.”


“Yes,” Discord interrupted, “They will be called the Trustee Insider of Territory  and Service, or T.I.T.S. for short.”


Twilight rolled her eyes. “We are not calling them TITS.”


“Too late, I already made it a part of our new declaration of government. The TITS will control rule of law and bodies. The TITS will be seen by all and show the power of each body they are attached to. The TITS will be poke and prodded even played with by the masses, each with their own agenda. The TITS will stay erect and adhere to any attention the citizens give them. The TITS will be sensitive at times because they are made of every day ponies. The TITS-”


“ENOUGH!” Twilight yelled. 


“Wait wait wait! One more, ahem, the TITS will be sucked dry by the needs of its citizens.”
	

> Deleted or Unused Content
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Deleted and unused scenes from Chapter 5

<alternate scene from end of the chapter 5 “Chapter 1”>
Hey Lord Discord.” Twilight sang behind him.
Instinctively he turned around.
Discord jaw dropped to the floor; no really it stretched from his face to the stone slabs.
Twilight had turned her back to him and raised her tail in the air. She lowered her self onto her front knees and looked back at him with the glasses on. 


The panties were still on. 


“Could you assist me with these?” She wiggled her hind quarters “I’ve never worn them before,” Twilight said in an innocent voice.
Discord, literally, picked his jaw up off the ground and turned around as Twilight burst into laughter.
After realigning his jaw Discord glared at her over his shoulder as he growled; after a moment though his expression perked up. 
“Twilight?”
The Princess was still laughing when she heard the familiar voice of her assistant Spike. She looked over at the basket, her spell gone. Discord was standing behind him waving his fingers at her before teleporting away. 
Spike started rubbing his eyes as he yawned. “Those are some strange shorts, Twilight. Could you take them off they’re making me feel funny.” 
<end scene>
<just a scene that will never be used>
The distinct sound of auguring could be heard making its way down the hall. Guards straighten their poster, maids and servants rushed to be out of view as the voices could be recognized as Princess Twilight Sparkle and her advisor Lord Discord. 
“The ponies pushing against our southern border are having water issues and your solution is having nets high in the air to catch water?” Twilights voice was drowning in disbelief.
By now the strange couple could be seen heading down the hall to the rooms of Luna and Celestia.
“Bingo!”
“But that, are you, there is, wha ho. You can’t even catch water out of a river with a net!” she yelled at him after she recovered from the confusion he caused.
“Twilight my dear,” he said, eyes closed finger raised, “A princess shouldn’t yell.” 
Twilight groaned normally she would have reacted scornfully to his teasing, but she has come used to his ways years ago. 
“You asked what I would do, and I answered, far be it my fault if you don’t understand the answer.”
“If I ever grew to understand you I don’t think you’d be Discord anymore” Twilight smirked at her own joke.
“Or you would be just as chaotic as me.” Discord open his mouth in a smile that bared his fangs menacingly while his claws were stretch out towards the princess. “That, I would love to see” he reared back and started his evil as Twilight stared at him with a deadpan look on her face. 
The two stopped at the double doors to Celestia’s room. 
“I swear I'm going to make that laugh illegal.” The lavender princesses threaten. “Don’t just open the do-!”
The spirit opened the door to a scene of the two princesses with their guards sitting at a round table playing cards. 
“ha! Royal flush! Pony up boys you to Luna!”
Suddenly the lunar and solar guards each placed a portion of their uniforms in the middle of the table while Luna slid off some of her jewelry, a faint blush in her face.
Discord suddenly conjured a soap bar in each hand and stabbed them into his eyes, he then calmly closed the door and walked away without a sound with the soap bars sticking out of his eye sockets. Twilight was left behind staring at a closed door, unable to move. 
<end scene>
<deleted scene>
“My faithful guardians, tell us all you know about panties.”
The two Lunar Guard looked at each other unsure what to say.
One of the guard decided to answer honestly “Well princess underwear is used for hmbga.” His college shoved his hoof into his mouth, giving Luna a sheepish smile.
<end scene>
<deleted scene: Luna visits Celestia, upset that no one would give her an answer about panties>

“Dear sister, what’s wrong?” Celestia asked Luna as she escorted her into her room.
“No one will speak to us about panties.” Luna’s voice broke; she was on the verge of tears. “Are we not worthy of such undergarments?”
Celestia gave her a heavy sigh. 
“Follow me Luna.” Celestia headed to her closet. 
Her closet was a massive room nearly the size of her main chambers. Outfits of my type hung from racks. Jewels aplenty were locked in glass cases. Mannequins of Celestia’s body type were adorn with unique dresses. Even small safes were attached to the far end of the room. 
On the very far end of the room a single large draw sat embedded into the wall. Celestia walked right up to and slid her horn into a slot above the draw. A magical click could be heard. The draw glowed yellow and a disembodied voice spoke
“Password?”
“Luna of my heart.” 
“Stand still for retinal scan.”
A yellow light shot out and enveloped Celestia’s eyes.
After a moment the light receded and the draw opened up. Inside were pairs of underwear in the hundreds. Different shapes, types, and colors all folded neatly and displayed evenly. 
“I have some explaining to do” Celestia told her sister.
<few moments later>
“Well, we feel glad that our sister can still pull a good joke on us. It reminds us of when we were young. But I must ask.” Luna looked over at the rack of hanging clothes. “Why do you have a nurse’s uniform?”
“Um...”
<end scene>
	
> Halloween Special Part 1
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A/N: It’s a little choppy but it’s good and goofy. This really doesn't fit anywhere in the time line. I know some of you have seen this already but it’s my favorite time of year and there are a lot of bronies that haven’t seen this yet so enjoy. This is a special from last year so I will be writing another one that I will post on the 30th.

“Come one Discord we are going to be late!” Twilight said as she opened the door to her own bathroom.

When she poked her head inside Discord screamed like a mare and grabbed a towel to hide his body from her. Twilight jumped out of the door way, dodging a barrage of combs, mane dryers, makeup, and shampoo; a spectrum of strange beauty tools, a sink, and one really confused cow. 

“Knock next time!” Discord yelled before slamming the door.

________________________________________

Discord opened the door to Celestia’s room before Twilight could catch up. “Tell me your joking Celes.” Discord said in a flat voice.

Twilight caught up and poked her head around Discord to see Celestia’s costume.

Celestia was dressed in black leather from horn to hoof. Her mane and tail were tied back with leather straps, giving her a more streamline look. She don a leather mask and a saddled on her back. In her yellow aura she carried a whip that she cracked when Twilight got a good look at her. She looked Twilight in the eyes and gave her a rather sultry but evil smile.

“Oh wow Celestia.” Twilight said with an oblivious smile. “So, you’re going as a masked beast tamer.”

Celestia’s expression dropped with disappointment.

Discord tapped his chin. “I think I once had a dream like this.”

“Sister, we find this garment a little…unsettling.” Luna said as she came out of the Celestia closet with Celestia old nurse uniform.

“Yep, I have dreamt this before.” Discord nodded to himself. “So, Celes, is that what you really going as.” 

Celestia sighed. “No, I was just hoping to get a rise out of Twilight.”

Twilight quickly put two and two together. “So she’s not a beast tamer? Then what is she?”

Discord bent down and whispered in Twilights ear, “Come back to the room with me and I’ll show you.”

“Hey every pony!” Spike said as he came out of nowhere, causing Discord to jump up to his full height. 

He walked into the room then took a pose. He wore a red and white striped shirt that was ripped at the bottom, a captain’s hat, and an eye patch. “Arg,” he yelled as he pulled a wooden sword thrust it into the air. The scene was so cute even Discord smiled.

“Wow, Princesses, great costumes.” Spike said pointing at the two sisters. “Princess Luna you look really cute as a nurse, and Princess Celestia, I gotta say that’s the coolest beast tamer outfit I have ever seen.”

________________________________________
“I cannot believe you talked me into this costume.” Twilight said as her chariot flew through the air.

Twilight mane was up in pigtails. She wore a wonder bolts cheerleader outfit whose skirt was cut really short. She had a chainsaw with the belt pulled out strapped to her back, and on her hip was Discord’s head. 

“That part was easy, getting you to take off that costume later…” Discord let the thought hang in the air as he gave Twilight a very creepy laugh.

Twilight looked back at Discord and gave him an annoyed look. “We been over this Discord, I don’t get jokes about notaries.” 

Discord’s head bounced as he talked. “I think you mean nudity and its fine as long as I'm entertained.”

Twilight smirked at him as a twinkle of flirtation filled the corner of her eyes. “I think you just wanted me in panties again. Too bad you’re attached to my flank; you can’t see a thing back there.” She swung her hips and tail causing the short skirt to raise just enough and reveal white cotton underneath.

“Somehow I think I’ll get over being attached to your rear for the night,” Discord said sarcastically.

Twilight stuck her tongue out at him, but Discord still caught the faint red that filled her cheeks.

________________________________________

As the chariot came to a stop Twilight could already see her friend rushing to her. 

Applejack had sticks tied to each legs, she had one long, curved branch going down her back. She had pinned several leafs in her mane and tail. She adorned a mask made out of bark.

Rarity had made herself a collared corset. The front was crimson, with obsidian all over it, a dark blue navy back with silver buttons. Her mane was much wavier then it usually is and she had a pair of fangs in her mouth. 

Pinkie was in her chicken costume again.

Rainbow dash also wore her costume from last year.

Fluttershy was not among them. 

“Twilight!” They all said in unison. Dash was the first there and gave her a hoof bump. Then Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Applejack all piled on Twilight embracing her lovingly. Twilight was overwhelmed and fell over taking the girls with her. They all started laughing at their folly.

“Bleh!” Discord said. “There is only so much cute I can take. If this keeps up my eye balls will bleed.”

The girls got up off Twilight confused and curious about who just said that. After seeing Discord’s head tied to Twilights flank the group took a good look at her costume. 

“Um…Twi?” Applejack circled Twilight once. “Wa are you?”

“Well…”

“Look! It’s Nightmare Moon!” Pinkie cried out pointing her hoof to the sky.

Sure enough Luna’s chariot rode into town with Luna dressed up as her alter ego.

“Citizens of Ponyville!” Luna spoke with the Canterlot voice; as she did the clouds in the sky circled around her presence and the wind picked up. “I have returned and I am, famished!” Lightning struck as her last words lingered in the air.

She turned into a dark cloud and wisped over to a huddled group of foals. “You disguises don’t fool me!” she said as she retook her form. 


The colts and fillies screamed and practically threw their bags of candy at Luna before they ran off. The foal’s parents chuckled a little bit before running after them. 

“Ahh yeah!!” Dash yelled as she pumped her hoof in the air. “Luna is the best princess.”

“Minion we summon thee!” Luna cried out. 

“Hey Dash,” Twilight whispered playfully. “I think she’s talking about you.”

“Oh, right.” Rainbow took off and stood at attention in mid air in front of Luna. “You, er, summoned me my mistress?”

“Rise into the air, our servant, and find us more foals, we must, feeeeeeed!” Lightening struck again. 
“At once, my empress,” Dash said as she embraced her role. She shot off into the air looking for Luna next victim. 

“Hey Big Mac, ya just missed Rainbow Dash.” Twilight heard Applejack say behind her. When she looked over her shoulder to greet him she decided to turn all the way around to let Discord see as well. 

The giant farm pony was dressed as a huge red apple that matched his coat, only a moment after Discord set eyes on Big Mac, Apple Bloom popped out of the side of the apple in a green body suit and cried out: “I’m a worm!”

Giggles and ‘aww’s could be heard from every pony nearby. 

“By the sun and moon, my eyes!” Discord cried out. The group of ponies all turned their head towards the spirit. A red liquid was indeed dripping from his eyeballs. 

“Okay,” Rarity said after making a face. “No one is allowed to make fun of me for being overdramatic, anymore.”

________________________________________

As the night went on the group of friends play catch up with each other’s lives. Twilight had many tales to give them while she heard of many new developments of her best friends. Like rainbow dating Big Mac, Rarity’s latest fashion line; something about socks replacing panties. 

They could hear the random screams of foals every once and a while, usually followed by the hackling of Rainbow Dash and the grandiose voice of Luna. 

“Well those two are certainly having fun,” Rarity commented with a smile.

“It makes me happy that Luna is able enjoy herself so much on her own holiday,” Twilight added.

“Um Twi…where’s Discord?” Applejack asked.

A scream came from the apple bobbing booth just as Twilight glanced at her empty flank.

The group of mares ran around the corner and found Berry Punch shaking her head trying to get Discord off the end of her muzzle. The spirit had hidden himself in the apple bobber and bit down on the first pony that stuck their head in. Having the decapitated head of Discord bite down on your nose while you’re bobbing for apple would scare the coat off any pony. 

Berry Punch was able to finally free herself and flung Discord into the air; as soon as he landed he started laughing.

“That brute!” Cried Rarity.

“Tha was juss mean.” Applejack added.

To their surprise though, Twilight was also laughing. 

Rarity and Applejack looked at each other and a rare moment of agreement between the two sparked. They approached the giggling Twilight and position themselves on either side of her.

“Twilight, are you alright?” Rarity asked with a concerned tone. Twilight stopped laughing and looked at the fashionista.

“Has Discord changed anything about ya?” Applejack asks. Twilight swung her head and gave her a confused look.

“What we’re concerned about is him, well.” Twilight turned her head once again. “With a lack of a better term, corrupting you.”

Twilight giggled again this time at her friends. “Oh girls, he’s not corrupting me. Just look for yourselves.” Twilight pointed that the small crowed that also witnessed the practical joke. All of them were laughing even Berry Punch was giggling as she blushed. As the crowed died down Berry Punch had a twinkle in her eye and picked up Discord by his beard tossing him back in the tub of apples. “No, wait, I'm sorry!” he yelled as flew through the air landing in a splash. Ponyville itself seemed to be laughing after that. 

Twilight walked a few paces and turned around to look at her friends. “Don’t you see girls? Discord is just like everypony else. We didn’t meet under the best circumstance but I now see the same thing Fluttershy sees in him.” 

The look that Rarity and Applejack saw in Twilight’s eyes was not the same thing they saw in Fluttershy’s when the spirit was around, it was something…more. 

“Now come on.” She said as she turned towards the tub of apples and water. “Let’s get him out of there before he drowns.”

“Don’t worry, Twilight,” Pinkie said as she cantered ahead of the group “Disco doesn't have lungs right now, so he won’t drown.”

________________________________________

“So we are heading to Fluttershy’s?” Discord asked rhetorically as the group of friend crossed the bridge to outskirts of town.

As they walked Rainbow Dash caught up with them. “Sup everypony, just so you know, Princess Luna went home and the night winding down.”

“Did you and Luna have fun? She didn’t run into any issues?” Twilight asked looking up at Dash.

“Nah,” Dash answered as she waived a dismissive hoof at Twilight “In fact after a while she took the costume off and sat down with the most of the foals in town and just talk to them. It was very cute.” 

“Since when did you describe anything as ‘cute’?” Twilight ask.

“Oh, she go’en all lovey dovey since she started dating mah brother,” Applejack answered.

Dash shot over to Applejack and shoved her face into hers, forcing her to stop walking. “W-who are you calling lovey dovy?!” she yelled half heartedly.

Applejack smiled confidently. “Tell me ah wrong,” she challenged. 

Dash growled at her but pulled her head away and huffed stubbornly, causing the rest of the group to giggle. 

Twilight and her friends made arrived shortly at Fluttershy’s, piling themselves at her front door. Twilight knocked for everypony.

“I have to pee,” Discord said randomly as they waited. 

“Hello everypony,” Fluttershy said softly as she opened the door. “Come in, I have everything ready.” 

The group made their way inside.

“I hope you like everything.” Fluttershy said as she closed the door behind them.

“I wasn’t kidding,” Discord said, but no one listened.

Inside an evening tea party was set up in the living room with cupcakes and other amenities. The girls started giggling and talk amongst themselves as they settle in. among the high pitched sounds the unheard voice of Discord rang through. “Great, now where ever I am I have wet myself.”

The party went for a while with just Twilight catching up on everypony. Close to midnight she tapped Rarity and whispered to her. “Did you bring them?”

Rarity gave her a rather heavy bag. 

“Assorted diamonds and quartz just like you asked,” she whispered back.

“Oh Discord.” Twilight sang out as the floated his head up into the air. The girls found him asleep from boredom. Twilight hushed the girls as soon as she noticed. “This is going to be good.”

________________________________________

Discord woke up startled by sudden and loud dance music. Looking around he could see that the Twilight and her friends were all dancing and that he was up in the air, but what struck him as curious was that there was obviously a disco light on but no disco ball in sight. As he looked around for it he noticed that he was spinning in place. When Discord made a full circle he found Twilight in front of him holding a mirror. He could see himself in it covered in crystals and light coming off them. 

He was the disco ball. 

At first it was just a chuckle but after a few seconds of the practical joke setting in Discord was laugh so hard he was bouncing, causing the light in the room go crazy. 

“Did you come up with this?” Discord asked Twilight. 

She just smiled and nodded. 

“I applaud your originality, Princess.” Discord said. He was still turning so Twilight had to flap around him to talk to him directly. 

“You know, Discord.” Twilight said in a dreamy manner. “I had a lot of fun with you tonight.”

“Don’t worry Princess; as long as we’re together there will be many more days like this to come. I promise.” Discord did not mean to say it that way but he did. Twilight looked down and blushed a little as the words set in. She looked back at the spirit and gave him a warm smile.
	
> Hearth's Warming Special
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


T'was the night before Hearth's Warming and all through the castle 
All the staff was stirring Discord giving them hassle
Ponies everywhere treated each other with care,
In hopes that the windigos will never be there

The foals were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Princess Luna danced in their heads.
And Spike in his basket, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.

When out on the garden there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the balcony I teleported in a flash,
Tore open the door and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But the Spirit of Chaos, Discord, my dear.

By a snow covered rose bush, so lovely and red,
I knew that he thought I was still in bed.
More rapid than eagles he flew up and placed a rose in my mane,
Not red but blue was the rose like everything he does it was far from mundane.

The spirit could be sweet as a dove,
An aspect that made me fall in love.
He rubbed my cheek with his claw his eyes filling with light,
He told me I was beautiful especially at night.


Like my heart my breath he did steal,
So zany and strange he was that none of it felt real.
He asked if would come with him and I said I will,
We land on a cloud full of gifts, and goodwill.

And then, in a twinkling, we blasted off through the night air,
I could see the town nearby I knew my friends were there.
As I drew in my head, looking at the ground,
Down the chimney of sugar cube corner we came with a bound.

Our coats were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
The girls were all giggling and having a hoot
A bundle of gifts Discord had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.


The girls were all there their faces all in delight,
And I laughed when I saw them, no matter what they always made things right.
They all hugged me at once knocking me down,
Rarity asking me “Where’s your crown?”

We partied and partied all through the eve,
Discord making jokes being a peeve.
As the night wound down and everypony slept,
Me and Discord left.

We flew through the air like a comet with magic to spare 
We land on the balcony Discord whispering that I'm his mare
We went to bed to take our leave
"Good night princess, Merry Hearth's Warming eve”




> Nightmare Before Christmas 
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	“Thank you for helping with this outfit, Hiss. I don’t know really why Discord wants me to wear a big puffy yellow ball gown, but he says it will work with his.” Twilight said as she struggled to get dress over her head.

Hiss fluttered around Twilight in her changeling form. Trying to help the princess make the costume fit on her correctly. 

“You’re welcome. I find this tradition fascinating. You are all trying to mimic something you’re not. We changelings do that to survive; you do this for fun.” 

The girls stopped and looked over to Twilight’s door as it creaked open. Discord head poked out from the other side. He squinted like he was trying to make something out in the distance then his eyes went wide and he gasped. 

“Spike!” Discord threw open the door and pointed at Hiss. “A wild ditto appeared!”

Spike come out from behind Discord with a red utility vest, a red cap on and fingerless gloves. The young dragon blinked a few times confused then looked up at the sprite. “What?”

Discord rolled his eyes. “Throw that thing I gave you at Hiss.”

“Um...ok.” Spike pulled a white and red ball out from under his vest and threw it like he was told. 

The device hit Hiss on her horn lighting her up and magically pulling her into the ball. 

“Hiss!” Twilight yelled out of concern and surprise. 

The ball shook a few times before Hiss popped out of it.

Discord grumbled. “Darn, it was so close. We didn’t damage it enough.” The trickster pulled a mallet out of nowhere and ran towards the changeling. 

Hiss reacted quickly and turned into a baby Twilight giving Discord the biggest puppies eyes she could muster. Discord Stopped in his tracks and stared at her. 

“Hiss used adorable.” Discord huffed as he put his weapon down. “It was super effective.”

“Well I’m lost.” Twilight commented.

Discord leaned his elbow on Twilights back. “Your lost is my gain.” 

“I think you misunderstood what the saying means.” Twilight said.

“You’re lost and I’m entertained. I think I understand enough.” Discord responded. 

Twilight rolled her eyes and walked a few paces ahead. Forcing Discord the stand up straight. She positioned herself just right and magically lifted up her yellow dress and wagged her tail at him. She still couldn’t understand why this stuff bothered Discord so much but that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to use it against him. 

“Mooned by a princess.” Discord said trying to play it cool, but everypony could see the scarlet dancing on his cheeks. 

Twilight looked over her flank and raised an eyebrow at him. “Mooned?”

Discord sighed in frustration. “So many things lost on this era.”

“What is lost on this era?” Luna asked as she joined the group. She wore a black rope with a blue crest on the front that had a bird of prey on it. Luna also sported a dress shirt and blue striped tie underneath the robe.

“Mooning.” Discord said casually. 

“Nonsense.” Luna said definitively as she was across the room to the rest. “Our mooning has always been a part of this era.” She said pridefully. 

Everypony nodded in understanding, except for Discord who had a twinkle in his eye. 

“Does the people of Equestria enjoy it when you moon them?” The spirit asked.

“Many do.” Luna answered. “Our moon is the jewel of the sky. Every night the ponies of Equestria vast in my glory as we moon them all.” 

To everypony’s surprise Discord was floating in the air holding his stomach laughing. 

“Um, Luna, what are you going as?” Twilight ask wanting to move on from whatever Discord was pulling. 

“We are Luna.” She answered. 

“Yes we know,” Spike said. “But what are you dressed as?”

“Luna,” she answered. 

Discord smirked knowingly. “So you're going as yourself?” He asked. “Funny, you don’t look like you.”

“We are not we. We are Luna.” She answered nonchalantly.

“So we are going as we?” Discord clarified.

“We don’t know what you are going as but we are going as Luna.” The lunar princess replied. 

“So your costume is of Luna?” Twilight asked with her head tilted.

“Yes.” Luna frowned a little. “No?” She said unsure. “Which Luna do you mean?”

“There are two Princess Luna?” Hiss asked.

Discord turned to his assistant and winked at her. “Why do you think she always says ‘we’?”

This time Hiss smirked. “I just figured she drank water too often.” The changeling turned her head back to Luna. “So you’re going as your alter ego?”

“No, we were Nightmare Moon last year.” Luna pointed out. “We are Luna this year.”

“Then where’s your crown?” Hiss asked adding the fire. 

“We are not we this year, we are Luna.” She said again.

“What?” Said Twilight.

“What?” Said Spike.

“What?” Said Hiss.

“What?” Said the proof reader.

“Asparagus!” Said Discord.

“We are a character from that charming book series about that young wizard.” Luna clarified. 

Twilight instantly knew who she was talking about. She wondered if Luna intentionally chose a character with the same name; she has learned that Luna shares her sister’s sense of, mostly.

“So you’re not going as Luna?” Discord asked. 

“Stop it, Discord.” Twilight scolded. “It’s not even that funny.”

“I’m confused.” Spike said.

“I’m confused.” Hiss said.

“I’m entertained.” Discord said. 

“As are we,” Luna added winking at Twilight.





Twilight walked down the stairs making her entrance into the ball room. Her mane was pulled back with elegant curls and her yellow dress accented her complexion while her jeweled hoofs matched her crown.  

The stairs were actually two that conjoined before leading into the main ball room. She made it to the landing and looked up to see Discord coming down the other end. His mane was slicked back and brushed out giving him a more streamline look. He wore blue Lord’s coat gold trims and cuffs that was a fashion a few hundred years ago. 

The palace was filled with ponies of different class and origins. Luna and Twilight had convinced the royal family that holding a party on this night would honor the Moon Princess. Luna insisted that a handful of ponies from every major settlement be invited and that this was not a gathering the famous and the influential like the annual gala.

Discord started walking down the stairs like he was some rock star. Every step was a strut; a flock of mares had formed in front of the staircase. Camera flashes and whistling mares berated him. A few of them made a howling nose while the rest threw roses at him. 

Twilight rolled her eyes but she still smiled at the scene. His attics really grew on you after a while. 

Discord finally made it to the landing with Twilight. He reached out with his claw and took the Princess’ hoof giving it a kiss. 

“I see you have admirers.” Twilight commented as his lips parted from her. 

“Jealous?” Discord asked and he stood up straight.

“Hardly, they’re changelings.” Twilight clarified. 

“Saw straight through it, then?” Discord responded. 

“Like a lumberjack.” Twilight joked.

Discord turned the mares that had lined up under the stair case. “She’s on to us. Go. Mingle and feed for it is the night of all nights.” The changelings dispersed and disappeared into the crowed. 

Twilight shook her head at him and started down the steps. “Dramatic as ever, come one, we have to mingle ourselves.”

“Yes because we are very socially skilled individuals.” Discord said with a sarcastic tone as he walked with by her side.

“Hey, I have come a long way.” Twilight said defensively. “It’s you who needs to socialize more.”

“Speaking of socializing.” Discord pointed over her shoulder at Rainbow Dash flying up to them. “Your friend with questionable sexuality is coming this way.” 

Twilight became very annoyed with Discord’s stereotyping. Twilight knew that he was just trying to get under her skin. No way was Discord this ignorant, but such remark was hard to ignore. “She’s dating Big Mac.” She said through clenched teeth. 

“That proves nothing.” Discord replied as he waived a dismissive claw at her. “I’ve read Broke Hoof Mountain.”

Twilight was about to start raising her voice at him but Rainbow Dash saved him.

“Sup, Twi?” Dash said as she landed next to Twilight. “You two playing nice?” Rainbow teased as she took note of her friend’s cowl. 

Twilight gave a sigh and let Discord’s transgression go. “We’re good, how about you? Are you enjoying yourself?”

Rainbow shrugged. “Mostly, just had a very confusing conversation with Princess Luna about her costume.”

“Oh? What is dressed as?” Discord asked playing stupid. 

“Nope.” Rainbow Dash said mimicking her colt friend before trotting off.

“Too many ponies seeing through me tonight.”  Discord grumbled as he crossed his arms. “I must be losing my edge.”

Twilight laughed, but she wasn’t laughing at Discord. She was happy about what he said. “That’s because we’re all friends now. We all know you enough to catch on when you’re about pull well a Discord.”

Discord was about to rebuttal but a very gruff looking clown smoking a cigar cut him off as he approached. 

“Discord!” Iron Hoof said in a raised voice. “I like the costume; I can see the irony in it.” 

“Irony? It’s a lord’s coat the fashion is from-“

“About 500 years ago when the royal family made up most of the military leadership,” Iron Hoof interrupted. “That, my antimilitary friend, is a dress blue bravo Lord General over coat worn only in battle.” Iron Hoof paused to take a puff of his cigar. “You are wearing a military uniform.”

Twilight smirked “I take it back; you are losing your edge.”