> Conscious > by TwizzleDragon > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Encounter > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I sat there, against the trees, the breeze flowing as it should against my bark, its bright colors glowed brightly against my esoteric eyes, nearly blinding me as I stared deep within its protruding oblivion. My reality was that which it was meant to be: bland, boring, and mystical. I cannot explain the reasons for which I am here, nor the reasons I am unlike the others, but I can at least explain how my path crossed with another. I was quite abnormal among my kind, for they were mindless beasts, yet I had something they did not; consciousness. I wasn’t the biggest of my kind, a bit over average but only do to the dirt clinging to my idle bark. I was made of oak, as the forest around was mostly that breed. My tail was made mostly of leaves and twigs, making it superbly flexible compared to the others. My eyes were a lighter shade of green, presumably a yellow tint, the fire grew diminutively inside of them. Most of my bark was moist from years of taking in water, leaving my body frail and soft. I had horn-like features a top of my head, they rose about a foot and curved into an incomplete arc. My back was made of a small stump, kept together with amber, sap, and twigs, over time it too had become wet and flexible. But the most odd feature of all my mutations had to be not my ability to think, nor feel, nor understand, but my ability to communicate with other creatures, but this was a wasted skill as those creatures could not speak back, forever alone in this world had I always been, always would be it seemed. I laid there on a hill that the forest spread around itself, the fragmented bumps that dotted the land, bearing homes to all creatures, big and small. The day was bright, even though these trees, which gave me my dubious life, blocked out the radiant shine that was always giving us the finest form of warmth onto our bodies. Today was the greatest day of my life, as it was just like the rest: lazy, lonely, and lifeless.. It began dull, just as I loved each day of my intrusive journey, laying in the same place on this hill that this “pack” calls home, watching these mindless beasts give their folly obedience to another for being stronger, peering as these creatures did their daily routines of catching a next meal or terrorizing the innocents that bordered our forests. It all began so ordinarily as if it would be the same as the next, maybe we gained a new pack member, or lost one, as our numbers were always a variable, but then it happened, something that I could never conceive to be done, especially by these monstrosities. Normally, Alpha, sends out a few of our decent sized pack, which were, on average around twenty-seven timber wolves, out to gather food, the constant need for all living things. It was clear we were more complex creatures than most beings in this plane of existence. Our diets were also quite affected with an abnormality, consisting not of fruit or vegetables, but of this aberrant elixir of unfathomable origins, which I took upon calling blight water. Alpha sent them out in groups of three, usually coming back with barely enough to last the pack a day at a time, but it was something. Today they came back with a surplus, just enough to give a few something extra to crave, but it wasn’t just this accustomed product in which they came back with today, no today they came back with life, the life of a creature we do not trend in sparing, a pony. Long had it been since I last rose from this mound that I frequently settled my roots to. The situation below my over watch became atrocious to my eyes as they carried this kidnapped filly off to Alpha, and he was not the timber wolf to trifle with. All the “special” findings of the pack’s hunt went to Alpha, he was always the separator of our “treasures.” This was the first time in my second century of life that they had brought back a pony, a filly no less.I could hear the delicate child as she struggled and screamed for her freedom, but such a small creature has no resistance that we cannot handle. These forests were our domain, settled miles from pony civilization, as we had we been for ages since beyond my long life, any escapee would be put down easily and served for Alpha as a trophy. She let out a scream, the high toned pitch blasting around more than the last cry of the rabbit. I’m sure it would’ve hurt had we been organic, but still an annoying sound from such a young female. We’ve killed younglings before; ravens, foxes, rabbits, chickens, any critters we could get our hands on, but the task of eating them was unnecessary and only to show disrespect towards their death. Never had we let one go, but for some odd reason, I felt pity towards this one, pity that I could not feel towards any other creature that we had slaughtered with our fangs, spikes dipping deep into their necks, the blood staining our mounds that we called home in a crimson unity. Ages had it been since my decrepit legs needed to work, longer since I had to deal with anything inside of the clan. I stumbled and shook trying to gather my strength back from all that neglect I had sucumb to giving my own mystical body. They brought the filly forth towards the dome of our lord, his tree sap dripping down that ablazed jaw of his, a mark from a raid that I did not take part with. He rose up to his great height, hovering over us all as if he was a god among the forest. There was a fiery aura about him, his presence scared even these “subjects” of the forest, they cowered back as the filly was left alone with this great brute. The filly tried to squirm away, unsure what to do, digging her head into her orange feathers, rubbing her purple mane along the ground and curling into a ball. Alpha took a large sniff of her, smelling her scent, readying to decide whether she would live or die. He gave his terrifying roar, trembled and stumbled had his minions done in response to its magnitude of effect. Birds fell, cracking their bones and smashing into the trees, dead or unconscious. The trees all around shifted, their branches rattled and leaves fell, covering the grass of our land. For those few seconds it was as if time had stopped, causing great harm to all the little creatures, the creatures that made up the largest of the forest’s population. His immeasurable front right leg lifted up, the dirt dropping down in bundles and rained down above the filly, he reached down for her, setting his limb down next to her. Alpha kept his stance for merely a few seconds before he turned away and went back to his apocryphal sovereignty. It meant one thing and one thing only: life. Alpha would keep a pet every few decades, kill them off after a certain time so they could not grow strong, but that was only if they didn’t starve or work themselves to death. She would become a slave, a snack, a play toy, this was her fate, and sealed had it been in our plantae paws. The three that had been cowering to his voice got back into their terrible stances, pushing the filly towards the den of our “lord.” She attempted to thrash around, anything to postpone the judgement that she was unsure of still. One of the wolves pushing her placed his rigid jaw onto her front left hoof, she screamed some more and tried to pull it out, hitting the beasts in the head with her freed hooves. It was a futile resistance, even if she could escape their herding, she wouldn’t be able to run fast enough to get out of this small hill clearing that we made home. She seemed like an ignorant child, but how could I blame her? We are still uncommon among the ponies that border our forests, only facing each other every few months, going dormant in the winter just gives them more time to find ways to keep our rare meetings from happening. She had probably never seen our kind before, maybe pictures and tales of us existing, but never the horror of face to face. She was covered in mud, but features were still distinct to me. Her mane and tail were purple, filled with twigs, dirt, and undoubtedly bugs from the forest floor. Her fur seemed to be an orange, or a tint of it at least, probably naturalized to that shade from being outside a lot. Her flank was blank, I knew ponies had some sort of religious thing about a mark on their backsides, but never was I interested in what it was all for, nor did I decide to ever get close to one to chat, for they all run in terror from this unapproachable being that I seem to be. I caught only a glimpse of her hooves, the left hind one, it had roughened up by the looks of it, scrapes and cuts that appeared to be new, it looked like a hardened hoof, clearly she was not one for an easy life. It took her a bit to catch on that her efforts were in vain, she simply gave up on fighting the wolves that guided her towards Alpha’s den, but she didn’t walk with the wolves, her hooves dragged behind in the dirt, making a track of her kidnapping. She sighed in defeat, small tears dripping down to the ground which she would be calling her home if she survived a bit as a pet. Slowly she started to cry, her light sobs echoed within our casts and came through as if we were made of the wind. There was nothing for me to do, I felt my pity for her, but she was out of my reach. The darkness grew abundant over our small convention, more than usual from the trees, night was upon us early this day, or maybe I just woke up late, time doesn’t tell monstrosities many stories. My old branches were rickety, cracking under the weight of my stump back. It was time for me to once again assume the position of my hill, watching over these creatures, examining their bizarre order that they had somehow managed to keep for centuries on end. My limbs creaked as I slowly walked up this small mound that no other would call for their den. I did not feel pain, we wolves never did, even though I had the mental ability to think and feel emotions, pain was just absent, always was. I could’ve just swapped out my old limbs and abdomen for new parts from the great forest, how mystical that ability was that gave us such a prolonged life. For us to die you had to capture our spirits and even then we were still alive, just unable to reform our timber structures. It wasn't long before I reached my small dug-in area for me to lie down and rest my eternal body. The ground had become moistened from the cold, dark night approaching, the trees sprinkling down water from the days rain, which it normally blocked out for a bit. My soul was tired, tired of it all, but my body could’ve gone on for another era without rest. Some days I wished that I could understand, but some nights I just wished for a conversation with an intelligent being. I laid down, the grass and dirt settling in with my twigs, branches, and the sap that kept it all together. Slowly my fire died down, the flames in my eyes retreated back into nothing, only firewood remained. I awoke to a tranquil day, birds of all species came and sang loudly and colorfully throughout our forest. It was as if the day would be filled with an unusual song for a special occasion. Alpha did not take kindly towards all the noise, along with the great song did their lives end by our claws. Again and again had our ground been stained in the blood of other specimens. The sun shined bright, I’m sure it did, but the leafy sky of our domain blocked out all light, and so the dark was our mother. Below my lonely property sat the coalition all getting ready for the blight water to be delivered, it was near time for our thirsts to be quenched. Our clan was strong, but without our supplements we were weak and unable to take form. This magical black liquid would kill any sentient that attempted its thirst upon it. Weeks had it been since I last took part in a extravagant drinking, my soul had been weaker than the others, but strong enough to survive in this shambled body of mine. My frail mouth had been dry, just as my soul, it was time for me to join the pack. I got up, my rotten body was starting to succumb to neglect and irreplacement, making me stumble on my way down the hill. My left hind leg began to crack, twigs and branches breaking off of it and thinning it down to a few sticks that were just strong enough to consider it a usable limb. Leaves and sap slid off my apathetic form, falling slowly, still-like onto the motionless ground before the wind would eventually take them away, far off into the abyss that I call life. Finally, after my leg had been withered down, I had reached the group readied for their long awaited caravan of ambrosia. We had gathered among a small pond area in front of the elder’s nest. The pond’s ground was black with soot left over from ages of feasts, polluted beyond the healing abilities that nature provided over time. Rustling came from the bushes not to far, their bodies emerged slowly, a group of three just as usual returned with their abdomens swollen in an unusual way. They walked over to the dry pond, setting their sides towards it, slowly their chests untangled their leaves, twigs, and other restricted foliage, the blight water fell down into the pit, splashing and spraying the claws of all those who surrounded it. In a moment the dugout had been filled with the grave fluid, the beasts dashed their heads straight into it, draining it almost as quickly as it had been filled. Our heads were submerged, our wooden frames became damp and revived in a morbid fashion. Soon the drink was gone, and so another scavenger came and let down his catch for the rest to drink. This time the fill drained slower, as some turned away from getting their ration. I kept there for it had been necessary for myself to get more due to my constant laziness and distance with the pack itself. I gulped up more than I usually would, but this time I tried to savor it, the taste wasn't very pleasant, it was nothing compared to the flesh of a sentient, a fresh bird was more enjoyable than this necessity. As more and more wolves turned away from the fill, I noticed something unusual take steps towards the pond, the filly. She seemed weak, taking her time and nuzzling her position right next to mine. Her mouth was gaping, the bags under her eyes were very obvious to mine, I knew what she wanted. She reached the pond, her neck extended and lowered down into the death waters. Finally, I had an intelligent creature to have a conversation with eventually, and now she was going to die, and this I would not allow. I slammed my head against her body, throwing her away from the blackness that would have overtaken her body. She slammed and rolled against the ground, stunned and unable to regain her balance right away. She gave out her soft cry of pain, as breathless as she was I could still hear it clearly. I had given her pain, but to save her is what I wanted. She got up, sobbing, tears running down her face, washing away the filth and muck that laid on her fur, abundantly. Slowly she walked back towards the pond, desperate for a drink. I turned away from it, wanting for the filly to live. She pressed forward, even as I placed myself in her path, still she altered her course around me, such an ignorant child she must have been to do such a thing to the mindless beast that I appeared to be. I growled at her, trying to quell her attempts for life, but silent ears are troublesome things. The ground shook suddenly, his feet rose and stomped down, the giant claw prints dotted exactly where he stepped, set deep within the ground as Alpha was ready to partake in his voluminous grail. The third scavenger wolf let out his amount again as the almighty one came down. Wolves ran away, fearing and respecting his wrath that would reign upon any that would not tremble at such an abomination. I had to do what I have done since my creation; run. I grabbed the filly with my mouth, a gentle grip I bestowed onto her, one to make sure she would stay with me, but not too strong that she would be hurt. She flailed around still, shocked and unsure what was happening with her tired eyes. I’m not sure, but somehow Alpha did not take any notice to me sweeping away his “pet.” I walked fast up the hill, leaves and twigs broke off of my legs as I climbed up and into my pit. I dropped her down, unconscious she laid when her body bounced off the floor, dry blood and wet mud covered her body as she took her passive slumber on the bed of her savior. I sat myself down, guarding her body from sight. I open my chest cavity, sliding her inside and into the warmth of my inconceivable soul. I stayed still for hours, making sure she was latent throughout the entire event of Alpha’s feast. She snorted quietly, barely a peep came from her sounds, maybe it was my isolation of her that suppressed it, or maybe her body somehow knew, but I was probably wrong either way, it’s not like I needed to know. The day grew into a tragic silence, nothing but this filly asleep could I hear outside of my mound. The rustling of the bushes and trees ceased, even the birds that kept singing joined in the dead silence. For once in my life, it was truly placid, finally with a being that I could talk to and understand, something I could hold a conversation with right there besides me, and I chose to utter no word. I kept her warm, and she embodied my own form. I just watched the world go by, this dark realm that I was bound to for reasons I could not tell other than my innate discretion. Water continued to drip gradually down, sprinkling the dirt and making small ripples before they descended within the earth. I felt refreshed, as it this was reviving the parts of me that I had stuffed into the ground to stay still, lifeless as I felt. Eventually the filly woke up, scared and frightened by the fact that not only did she not know where she was, but that she was probably in complete darkness. She kicked and heaved her breath, gasping for more air than my abdominal cavity could keep within, despite the many holes that covered around, most being filled with sap and amber. She started ramming her hooves into the walls of my chest, banging the foliage off, creating holes and making current ones bigger, she tore through, trying to escape her nightmarish situation. I opened my hold, revealing the forest back to her as she bolted out with sear promise of a bright day ahead of her, only to be put down by the disbelief that I had gave her. Her breath was constant, heavy, and desperate. Sweat poured down her body, wetting her fur as the sediment ran off with her body fluid. She had no resistance towards me, she fell straight down, collapsing onto the dirt next to me. I nuzzled my head against hers, trying to comfort her, to show her that it was alright. Mentally she had awoken, physically she was gone, paralyzed from weakness. I kept close, snuggling down next to her in a ball, trying to keep her calm, to let her know I was not to harm her. The stars once again took over the sky, or so I thought. Whether is was night or day, my mind was tired, and so was the filly once more. I dozed off quietly, the fire in my eyes shriveled down into little embers as we both fell into a slumber, unable to sense the world around us as we slept. I did not wake, my ability of consciousness only haunted me further with the aberration of dreams. They were still rare among my divergent conception of life. Most were the same, wanting to run wild with the pack among an open field, not as a timber wolf, but as a different creature, one very close but at the same time more real, a non-mystical creature that roamed free as nomads. I was a real wolf in these dreams, one of flesh and blood, not of timber and ash. This dream was different, I wasn't roaming, I wasn't some nomadic wolf that if I could talk I could tell you a thousand stories of epic adventures. I was simply myself, I wasn't running in this dream, I was standing among my pack, their heads turned towards where I stood among my hill, Alpha among them too. They bowed, all acted as if I was their god, their messiah from some faraway place sent to save them from being the beasts that they were. They formed into a perfect assembly of straight lines, which normally would be impossible had this been real and not a dream. There was more wolves in this dream than what our pack could have, more came from the forest slowly, entering this small clearing and joining the design that they were perfecting. I gave my howl and they howled back, the ground shook and it seemed that I could see them for what they were meant to be, the bark and twigs fell one by one from their deceased bodies, each piece replaced with fur and flesh as they turned into new creatures, different species the lot of them, some wolves, some buffalo, some even into ponies, but I stayed the same. I was forbidden from changing my form, but it seemed like a sacrifice I had to make for their undeserved reward. There I sat a top of this hill palace as these newly created beings bowed, each praising me for reasons I could not understand, and to my left sat this strange filly, the very one I had kept inside of my for hours on end. I couldn’t tell why, but she seemed important. I had barely known her for a day, not a conversation spoken yet, and somehow I knew she would be trouble. I looked down again, the sentient's kept their bows, praising me for whatever I had just done, they worshipped me like a god, but I didn't want to be a god, especially their god. And so I woke from this nightmare, wanting to forget it all when my mind came back into reality. > Northern Winds > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I awoke lonely, the filly was missing from where she had formerly been nuzzled up against my bark, keeping her seldom slumber tranced away from the world around her. I swung my head around the mound to make sure that she hadn’t just squirmed away silently in her sleep, she had not. My pitiful home was cold, moistened by the night’s freezing rain along with the northern winds moving in for the winter’s arrival. The roots on my leg had passively dug themselves into the ground as they always had, sprouting leaves above the hardened ground, bringing them back above would just loosen a few twigs if I tried fast. I would wait for the sun’s warmth to heat the dirt into a fragile, dust-like form. I scanned the land for any sight of this uncommon organism, wanting to know what had happened, whether it be she just wandered off or faltered out of existence. She had fallen away from the spects around me, fading from the screen like a bird that can’t fly out of it’s nest. I cared little for finding the filly, as she was not something I had or would attach myself to in just a day. After peering around the clearing before my mound for what seemed like ages, I lowered my head into my paws, comforting my head within my prickly twigs and branches. I downed my flames, ready to sleep once more out of the day to speed up the process, or at least speed it up to me, of getting my roots freed from the hardened ground. My hearth dimed into the darkness. Crying. I woke to weeps and teardrops. They were faint sounds, not next to or near me, possibly below my mound or perhaps far away from the forest, but they were still depressing sounds at that. The sun had risen to an angle, signifying that it was almost noon. The ground beneath me had softened from it’s warmth, allowing me to finally raise from this den without breaking my body. I got up, silently and carefully against the weight of the dirt piled up on my legs. The weeping continued even as I got up to look around. I saw nothing, nothing but trees, leaves, grass, and wolves. The pitch was high, that of the very same filly that had disappeared from my care the night before. Her sobs echoed, slamming against the trees on all sides, yet hiding from my sight still. I walked off my pit, looking around once more for the filly, wondering if she was just a figment of my imagination. Still not a shred of her for me to peek. I continued downward towards the dry pond. I made it halfway down my polluted hill before I noticed something dug into the side, something cold and fidgety. There was a hole set in the side of this hill, holding a place for the depressed creature to hide. Her tears moistened the ground greatly, pain enveloped within her eyes demanding to be set free. She cowered away at first, frightened by the ferocious look that was innate in my kind. I decided to sit down, as if she had anywhere she could go but towards me from then on. I pierced her eyes as hers pierced my own, the gleam in her eyes made them sparkle brightly like the sun on a clear day. Startled and unsure what to do, the filly approached me finally after what seemed to be ten minutes, thinking I must’ve been friendly. Her mouth dropped a little, as if she thought I could talk. “H-hello there,” the filly said, slowly coming towards the mouth of the gap. I thought about saying hello back, but I was sure that she wouldn’t believe it was me if I did. I just stayed still, embracing the words being directed towards me finally after the centuries of life I had practically alone with myself. “Are you going to hurt me?” she asked in a silly fashion, beasts do not speak, or at least in her mind they should not. I stayed silent, waiting for her next words. She came closer once more, putting out her hoof towards my head, stroking my bark. “You’re a creepy thing, ya know that?” her hoof gained traction on a loosened twig, snapping it as she pet me. I let out a small grunt, sniffling as I watched the twig dangle from a small piece that flexed with the bend. I let out a small whisper of advice, “careful now.” She stepped back, pulling her hoof away from my head, shocked and unsure if I spoke at all. “Did you just...?” she shook her head in confusion, shoving the top of her mane into the dirt roof of her miniature cave. I lowered my head again, making her feel as if it was her mind playing tricks on her as she put her hoof back onto my head, petting it softly again. “Can you...?” she asked once more, only for my silence to become her only answer. She pouted for a second, sending her body straight down into the dirt and settled with the worms. Dots began to fall, small white dots composed of water. The clouds above were darker than usual, as the ponies must’ve began the winter season for our forests as they usually do. The snow fell down as planned, slowly piling up on the surface of our territory. Soon we would have to slumber, forced hibernate unless we could find more blight water to fuel ourselves against the Windigo spirits. Some of the wolves began to gather for another feast, one that I felt I needed to participate in today. The storing of energy was essential if we wanted to wake at the end of our hibernation. In a week we would begin the great slumber, and during this slumber some of us would wither away and some would be created to fill the spots of the former ones. I stepped away from the child, not caring what she would do about my leave. I made my way down the hill as I had for ages, losing parts of my body each time that I did. They had already poured the ambrosic liquid into the black pit, filling it quickly. They dug their faces in, splashing it all around the polluted ground. I was lucky enough to burrow my face through the thick wall of wolves gathered up next to the feasting area. I licked up what I could, drinking all that I could possibly get to conserve the winter’s cold. She came towards the pond once more, the orange filly, thirsting for anything. Instead of attempting to drink from this death pond of ours she just sat there, quietly and faintly like a ghost. I had finished my take and walked over to her, placing my hind quarters down next to her. We watched as the others got their fill, it teased the child, whose stomach began to rumble in the want for nourishment. I looked down, she was a mess: dirt, maggots, twigs, and lice frollocked in her fur. I got up, walking towards the forest to find the filly some sort of food to satisfy her for the moment. I figured some of the indigenous fruits and berries would be great for her body. We didn’t have many tree-grown foods, sometimes an acorn, but most of the forest food was berries. The berries were of all colors, some black, some red, some pink, and some blue. I had never tried them myself, wasn’t sure if they would be harmful to the filly or not, but the critters seemed to be fine with them. I found a nearby bush, one filled with mostly blue berries, and gathered a bunch of berries into my mouth, making sure not to drop many on the way back. I made my way back, as it was not very far away, dropping the berries down in front of the filly. She dove into them, devouring each piece as if it would be her last meal for a while. The juices flied everywhere, splatting and spraying on her and the ground beneath her, dripping down like it was blood from a fresh cut. In seconds she was done, satisfied for the time being. Wolves still drank their much needed fill from the pond as Alpha came for his turn. He stepped up from his den, shaking the ground beneath him, birds flew away from the nearby trees as he started, wolves scattered as he came for his feast. He took a huge gulp, lowering the level quickly. Finishing his preparations, he turned back towards me and the filly, raising his front left paw. He swung down towards the filly, causing me to jump away for my own safety. The filly screamed out of fear and confusion of what Alpha was doing. His paw landed flat against her side, sending her sideways onto the ground, she stayed down, hurt and tired. Alpha lowered his head, opening his jaw and bite down on the filly’s wing. She screamed in pain once more, bleeding what she could through the puncture. He carried her off towards his den, doing what he wanted with nothing to stop him. In the years before that he had taken pets, winter was an odd time, he had always placed them into some sort of slumber so that he would still have his play toy by the time he woke up, not so lucky for this little pony. I was never sure how he did it, never got close enough to find out. I always thought he had some sort of plant or something to cause comatose on his victims. It never bothered me before, feral, mindless creatures were something that I didn’t care for his taking, but now another with a mind and I could not stand it. My embers burned bright, my branches ached, my soul went heavy. There was little I could do now, I would have to let it happen, or die in a fight. I knew what I had to do. The night was sour, filled with snow and cold winds smashing against the clearing. Some of the younger wolves had receded into their dormancy already as the pack dimmed down. I had waited, waited and watched, as my pack ceased to exist for a time. Among this pack, I was probably the weakest, but I was the only one with willpower. I headed down towards Alpha’s den, not knowing if the filly had been put to sleep yet, or if Alpha had even entered his slumber yet. It was quiet, just as I expected. His den was dark, darker than void. The girl laid there next to his enormous body, sleeping, splattered with all the filth that she had encountered today. I snuck towards her, noticing the vapid scab that had grown on her wing as I entered the fray. Quietly, I continued towards her, wanting to grab her and sneak her away from this place, I hadn’t thought very far ahead at this point, I should have though. She awoke, or rather she was already awake, raised her head to look at me. She came closer, allowing me to grab her with my mouth. The filly wasn’t skittish now, able to recognize me as different from the rest, the friendly one. Maybe she was just tired, it didn’t matter, she needed to go. I stepped closer, snagging her with my mouth again to get a better grip on her skin, picking her up. I retreated from his den, slowly, carefully. Snap. A twig had fallen off of my body, my foot had landed on top of it, breaking it. I was stone, unable to move, unable to think, I just stood there. Nothing. Alpha did not wake, his eyes did not glow, his fire did not burst. Lifeless. I continued to back away silently. I dropped her down, nudged her towards the forest wall. It was pitch black, I doubted that she could see. She tried to resist, probably wishing this was all a dream still. She didn’t know where she would go, neither did I, but she needed to leave this place. Slowly she raised her hoof as if going to start walking into the deep woods. She started off, quietly the filly entered the darkness, leaving my sight. Or so I thought. Awoken, the great wolf hidden from my sight, pretending and watching as I freed his pet. He darted, smacking me down onto the forest floor. I was stunned, unable to catch my grip on reality for a bit. As soon as I came to I was being hovered over by the largest of the pack. He growled at me, unamused with my free will choice. He howled and soon bite down at my neck, cracking my structure into thousands of pieces. The ground was filled with wood shavings as he ruined my formation. I saw the filly turn around, she looked at me being killed by this lupa, watched as I started to fade from existence. She ran towards us, only for Alpha to swing his paw at her, sending her back near his den. He walked over to her, thinking I was out of it. The filly laid their, barely conscious, unable to move from fear as Alpha approached her, ready to feast on flesh. I got up with haste, darting towards the “leader,” pushing him away from the filly, dazing him too. I grabbed her and ran, ran from the clearing and didn’t look back. I could hear wolves running after me, not sure if it was more than one, or just Alpha in a rage. They followed for the entire way, even against my maneuvers in the forest they still seemed to be behind me according to my ears. I didn’t keep track of where I was heading, nor the direction of which. I just ran and ran. The filly felt as if she were dead in my mouth, flopping around as my body bobbed around from the running. Light peered at the edge of the forest wall, a hardened barrier of vine structures blocked me from my destination: outside. I heaved with my legs, elevating myself into the air in an attempt to get over the obstacle in front of me. The obstacle was ragged at the base, but soft and flimsy in the raised parts. I broke through, devastating a few of the vines; some crashing down from the force, some tangled on my body, and some left unharmed. The filly wasn’t disturbed by the jump, allowing a peaceful entry into this new biome. We emerged into a prairie. Critters roamed around this grassland, mostly picking what they could for food before the north winds set in and froze it all for months. The breeze was strong here, most directions were flat, unable to break the wind down. The air was dry, cracking the skin of all the animals. It was frosty, ready to turn white. I kept running, unsure if I was still being followed or not. The prairie was a few miles long, the run through it seemed eternal. It was long before I reached shelter: a little dugout in the prairie, just a small hole like my old den. I dropped the filly down, making sure to soften the place up a bit. It was a little muddy, but worth it. Anything to break off the dreadful wind was good enough for me right now, and probably for the filly too. I nuzzled up next to her, just trying to warm her up, wondering if she would be worth all this trouble. My eyes were heavy, recommending sleep. I followed through, prepped for a good night’s rest. > The Cave > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I awoke, silence abundant, into what I could only guess to be dawn, settled in the tall grass of some prairie out of who knows where. The young creature barred next to my hull, unlike the last time. She slumbered still, in a deep sleep caused from such a tiresome day behind her. She snored something beautiful, or I think it was, us timberwolves didn’t snore, but she had a cute melody. She was something else, something different. I hoped she was worth it. Her kind and mine are almost impossible to mix, whatever I would have with this youngling wouldn’t last. What if I don’t want to give her back? I don’t want to be alone... I never did... I got up carefully, hoping the child would stay asleep. She didn’t move much, just a few small jolts to comfort her body into a relaxing position. The tall grass around us made this resting spot look like a miniature canyon. It all swayed with the wind, swishing around in many directions as the breezes lived and died in motions that none of us could see. Sometimes, I like to believe the wind is its own spirit, petting everything out of love. It’d be the only love I know. I thought the little one would be hungry, as I would be without my blight water after a time. I didn’t know what she ate specifically as a species would, but meat seemed to be a commodity for other creatures in the forest. She didn’t seem like a beaver, needing wood to eat, we would fear her if she craved us. She clearly wasn’t some sort of squirrel, in need of nuts and berries. It just seemed correct to assume either meat or a plant. Well, there’s grass all around us. It was best for me to get what wasn’t right there. I went off in only what I assume was north. I wasn’t going anywhere near the forest, even if it meant a quick kill. It wasn’t worth going back in the pack’s territory. I figured if I laid around eventually a critter or two would mistake its way by me, as long as I camouflaged myself enough, but that was the easy part. I found a random log, not far from the prairie, close enough to a tree that it seemed natural for my parts to be placed there. I got down, laying and spreading far enough that it looked like I was a large shattered branch. It seemed kind of ironic, in the pack all I really did was lay around, useless, and think, and now that’s all I am still. I kept my eyes on the sky in a sense. Birds flew over, some into the very tree I snugged under. I watched them, such great creatures. I never got a close look at them, even though now, only a couple of feet above me, I didn’t take my curiosity far enough. I wouldn’t kill one, they were too majestic to me. I envied them, free fliers, yet imprisoned in their flocks, but they were happy, and that is what I envied most. I laid there for quite some time, staring at the birds, listening to the wind, thinking my endless thoughts, all in the wait of a creature to pass by. It happened, just not what I exactly wanted, but it was better than nothing. Small little rabbit crossed around, nearing me slowly with its little paws and whiskers. It was a cute bunny, I almost wished I didn’t have to kill it. It hopped towards me some more, something near the tree must’ve been attracting it, or it just did it out of something else. It nuzzled against my bark, right on my front right paw. It was too easy. I opened my mouth and swept towards its neck in less than a second. It kicked and squirmed before I bit down, crushing the little ones neck. It gave a scream before it died, something terrible, it was high pitched and rolled for a bit. It disturbed me, I wish I were deaf. I didn’t really want to kill it, but I thought I had to. I hoped to the wind that this would be the last rabbit I’d kill. It took some time for me to get up, shocked at my previous actions. I didn’t enjoy the taste at all, it was too morbid for me, but I had to carry it back in my mouth anyways, there was no point in complaining. Its body flopped around as I took it back to the filly. Blood dripped from the spinal cord down, staining its fur and eventually leaking onto my bark. I found the filly still sleeping in the resting place I left her at. She seemed to have not moved at all, paralyzed by sleep. I dropped the rabbit down by her. It thumped as it hit the ground, creating a small pool from what was left of its blood. Her eyelids departed from each other slowly, in long flickers as she awoke to the noise. She was confused, once again hoping to wake from a dream, or perhaps a nightmare? Maybe she was my dream, an illusion of my subconscious mind exploring a new side of life, just waiting to be crushed and forgotten by reality. I guess time would tell me later on, or maybe in a second? She just stared at the dead organism in silent booms. I nudged the carcass with my paw, trying to tell her it was hers to eat without spilling my tongue. I don’t know why. I dreamed of conversing with some intellectual from outside the forest bounds for so long, and yet here, alone with one finally away from all my knowledge, I could not speak a word. I wanted to, but something beyond me kept it in. If only I understood more, maybe this would be so much easier. She was frightened, but at the same time, not. She was disgusted, but hungry. I guess I was wrong. Whoops. It was mid-afternoon now. The sun well into its opposition. I hadn’t even noticed the time pass, guess I was thinking more than I normally do. The filly still needed to be fed and she didn’t seem to want this wheat and grass mixture, which flourished in this prairie, or maybe she did and I wasn’t paying enough attention? Whatever the case, she wasn’t eating any of it. As much as I enjoyed this little field of wheat and grass, it wasn’t a shelter, not a place we could live in during a storm and still get food. I still needed to find blight water, and I never knew where to look for some. I could see dark clouds moving across the land in our direction, we needed to hurry. I gently grabbed the filly by the neck, she squirmed at first, but was too tired to put on a real fight. I didn’t want to hurt the poor thing, so I laid down my head and swooped her onto my back. Her legs faltered, trying to stand up, unable to balance. She fell, smashing my back a bit. It hurt, but I didn’t hear any branches or bark break. I waited for her to grab ahold of any part of me, or at least get to where she wouldn’t fall off. Eventually she grabbed my arch and stopped moving all over. I didn’t want to head back into the forest, the only shelter I knew for a fact that wasn’t too far away, and that lone prairie tree wouldn’t be enough to handle a storm, especially with this young, probably sensitive filly in my care. I didn’t have many options at this point, I knew if this storm was rough my decision would cost me my only companion in this world, guess I was too stubborn to listen to myself. I took off, sprinting north through the fields, trudging heavily in this small, wild plain. The filly bounced on my back, holding on out of trust I wasn’t sure we had even built up on to this point. Either she was foolish, or I was ignorant. The plants felt great, brushing against my bark as I bolted through it. It trailed behind me, bending down where I had trampled its many others. It called out to me, whispered in my ear that which I could not understand. They spoke a language I had heard, but never spoke. They loved me, a stranger in their home, for reasons uncertain. They loved everything from their creator to their destroyers. It was in their nature, what was in mine? Thunder started and spooked the filly as it crashed into the clouds. It banged and shattered the light, bringing darkness with it. The thunder left as quickly as it came, only replacing itself with another only moments later. There was something calming about the thunder, something strange. It reminded me that all things, nature, living beings, and all else, have bad sides to them, or what we think are bad. The thunder wasn’t evil to me, it was like a creature that was righting things none could comprehend needing to be corrected. It was something mystical, a being we had yet to acknowledge in this world. There was so much to learn from something whose lifespan lasted milliseconds. Maybe one day, it too, could learn from us, just like I could learn from this filly. Time passed, I had no idea if it was night or still in the afternoon. The storm took over the sky, and all was dark. I could see neither moon nor sun through these tinted clouds. They shocked through the prism every now and then, perhaps a rainbow in the near future. I hoped so. The wind was rough and violent, smacking my side and sending the filly into a panic. She didn’t scream, she didn’t struggle too much, instead she was brave. I wonder how far her bravery would go. I spotted a small cave through the blasting light, not far from our set path. It didn’t look like much, just a bunch of boulders with an opening, but it was our only chance for safety. We were drenched and tired, I wasn’t gonna keep heading who knows where in search of paradise, besides the filly was starting to hurt my back. The cave was moist, real moist, it wasn’t much of a cave, only went about ten feet deep, just wide enough for me to curl up if I wanted to. The back of the cave ducked down into another tunnel, it was flooded so I didn’t really care for it. I settled the filly down back in the dry part of the cave and stood by, watching the rain near the entrance, waiting for the storm to pass. It was boring, dreadfully boring, one of those things we do without wanting to be entertained not because we want to, but because we had to for our own reasons. It trickled down onto the ground, some leaking into the cave but not far enough to ruin our resting place, at least not now, not for a while. This would pass for some time, me staring out blankly into the rain, occasionally looking back at my acquaintance to make sure she was still there, to make sure I wasn’t just imagining her out of madness. Every time I looked back, she laid there, almost lifeless, but still there. Had she given up on whatever she had hoped for, or was she just tired? Tired... I’ve been tired for so long... My mind started wandering, going through topics that weren’t making sense to me now that I think about it. I was dazed and confused for reasons unknown. The world was spinning and I was still, or was it vice versa? I fell over, consumed by the darkness. I awoke several hours later, I knew this to be true because the storm had passed and the moon was well above the cave. I tried to collect what I could of myself from what just happened, but there was one thing I could not find. She was gone, missing from where she had laid down not long ago. There was no place she had to hide in, no crevice, no hole, nothing. The cave had only an entrance and this underwater tunnel. I saw no tracks left from her, not one other than mine near the entrance. She couldn’t have left this way. I looked and looked in circles before noticing the odd figure lines in the mud before the water. Something had dragged her in, something had to of. I didn’t need air, never did, it just wasn’t in my nature, but the thing I feared was this opening into fast waters, where I would be smashed to pieces. I had barely known this filly, not even a real conversation held, nor my chatting revealed to her, but she was all I had left at this point. She may be an ignorant little creature, but then again so was I. I dove straight into the water, struggling to stay below as my timber buoyancy struggled to stay above the water. I kicked and thrashed my way below and into this tunnel. It didn’t look like it was made by erosion, but what do I know anymore? There were little nicks and scratches on the rocks, dips in the walls that didn’t seem to fit. It wasn’t a long tunnel, just took a bit to swim through it with my back almost pressed against the cave roof. I could feel it scraping at my bark, taking apart the weak little splinters and wood pieces that were loosely holding on. I couldn’t see much, all that was there, was in blur. Little leaves and dead bugs floating around, black dots of things I wasn’t sure. I could see a change in the tunnel, it was ducking underground more, yet opening into a new room. I couldn’t see much of it, still blinded in a sense, but I could see it was a dome at best description. The ceiling raised as I officially entered this new room. I rose from the water, unlike any mammal would under a bit of time, gracefully. There were stalactites on the ceiling, staring down to the floor. The floor abandoned the water not far into the room, creating its own little island in the center. There was a mound on this island, not one of just rock and dirt, but of things I cannot describe. It reminded me of my old mound, the one that kept my solitude in a specific spot, the one that kept me overwatching my pack. I missed that mound in all truth, but that was then, this is now. I walked up onto the island, sinking into the silt at first, but got up to a stable mud formation. It sneaked itself into my paws, making it a little uncomfortable to walk. I could see fur, the fillies fur to be exact, stuck in the mound. I had no idea how she got in here, maybe she sipped into the water and unknowingly swam the wrong way, or maybe something dragged her like I thought originally? I walked closer and it was just her, nothing else, but a hole in the mound. I didn’t give much attention towards it. I gently pushed the filly with my nuzzle, she didn’t react. I pushed her once more, this time with more force, still no reaction. So I relocated myself around to where I could see her face. She was dreaming of something happy, surely she was, as her smile was greater than I knew she could possess. I couldn’t help but stare at it, it was something I physically couldn’t do. I was jealous. I didn’t want to move her, but I wasn’t really thinking at this point. The storm was over, we could leave and find a better place than a cave to sleep. I wasn’t going to pick her up by the neck, It might hurt her. I gave her one final push and her eyes sprung open. She rubbed them with her hooves, calmer than I was in this situation. I pointed my head in the direction of the tunnel while the filly had her gaze on me, and I signaled to her to head that way by bobbing my head a little. She must’ve been smart to understand me, even if it did take her a bit. I watched her go that way and yet, I still didn’t know if she could swim. I just wanted her out of this part of the cave, the same with myself. It never really occured to me before now that she was a pegasus, why hadn’t she fluttered her wings? I was curious, the kind of curious you are dying to feed, but won’t ask out of a silly feeling you don’t understand. I didn’t like this feeling, not one bit. The little one had looked back towards me before entering the water. I hadn’t move from my spot since I woke her up. I don’t know why I wasn’t going with her. She turned her head back towards the tunnel are slowly stepped into the water. I trudged over the mound, going towards her without haste. It was silent in the room, so silent. Even the water droplets falling from the ceiling failed to splash with enough volume. It was like I had lost my sense of hearing. She had entered the water now, waist deep. The silence was broken by sharp, slithering hisses. I turned my head back towards the noise and there sat something I had never seen. This organism, it was without limbs, yet it stood tall before me. I couldn’t understand how it moved, did it even have bones or was this flesh and muscle purely? It had scales, thousands of scales. So little, so many, I couldn’t count, nor would I try to. It stared into my soul with its black, pinto bean sized eyes, looking through my memories, my thoughts, my life. That was all it seemed to do. I was but sticks to this animal, despite what magic made me living. The creature darted off suddenly, without giving any signal of its advance. It went for the filly and I chased after the tail. It was long and narrow, unlike anything else in the forest. It seemed a being of stealth, yet had such a large body. It didn’t matter, it wanted my companion. It was right before it reached her that I gained the opportunity to pounce. I caught it in my claws and dug my fangs into its flesh. It squirmed and lured its head back, biting me in defense. I gave it another great bite, this time deeper and towards its sole organ. It thrashed for a while, but gave up eventually, dying in my snout. The filly had gone under, I hadn’t noticed. She bore no witness to this event and I would rather keep it that way if I were to do it again. I followed back through the tunnel and found her nearly passed out once more on the cavern floor. I was tired, I didn’t even want to journey out at this point. If only we didn’t need to get away from here... The filly got on my back once again and we started off into the prairie. I don’t know which way I went, but I knew we were going to get there soon. The stars would guide me, even if they were a map I could not read. The ground was soft... cold... fluffy... I wanted so badly just to pass out then and there and lie forever. It wasn’t long before I found myself walking without acknowledging the act. Even in this dark night, the moon still created shadows, and I found myself under a great one. The mountain wasn’t much refuge, but I found a nice spot to settle. The filly had already slept for so long, I was getting worried. I don’t know how they look when they are healthy compared to sick, but it just seemed like she was used to this. I fell asleep with ease, it was the last thing I remember... > Twists and Turns > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The wind blew against my chest, whistling through the holes in my body. It was such a lovely song, if only I could recreate it on my own. The soft tones and many notes passed through me, in utter bliss, I enjoyed it so much. It was what woke me up, crashed on this mountain side in an unfamiliar location. There were trees, some with prickly, little, thorn-like things instead of the leaves I was used to back in my home forest, some had white bark, but very few of these were around, and some seemed to survive up this gigantic hill, spanning far into the air. They were sharp and spread out more than my forest, soaring from the ground to their very tops high in the sky, glistening in the sunlight. I stared in delight, dazed and afraid, yet happy and curious of this new terrain. This area was something from a legend to me, and yet now, many years from the dreams which envisioned places like this, here I was in front of them. I never felt so small in this world before this point in my life. It was a great feeling, what more could I discover in life? I wanted to explore more, even though I knew this place would be refuge for this filly and I for the night, or perhaps further. The filly, she was wrapped around my arch, still sleeping. I was worried, very worried, she couldn’t possibly be this lazy. Most of this journey, or whatever this was, she had been sleeping. Was she sick? She couldn’t possibly this tired, nothing could be. But what do I know of ponies? Next to nothing. I didn’t know where to go, not even from the start had I known, why should now be any different? Despite this debate feuding around in my head, thoughts biasing against each other in a pointless mental civil war, I went with the decision that seemed best for now. I would climb the mountain to its peak, carrying this filly on my back if I had to, to just spot out the surrounding area. It might help me later on anyways, plus I would need to find blight water, and soon. I was weakening, just like the filly. How much time did we have left? I’m hoping enough, but that’s just me overreacting to something so small that looks so big. I stood up, the filly slipping off of me, falling awake beside me. I didn’t know if she trusted me, but it sure seemed like it. Her trust was that of a newborn to her mother, strangers who had to depend on one another for their lives, or maybe it was just a dream to her? I’d be fine with that, because a dream implies you like it. This experience so far had been a great change in the course of things for me, it was wonderful. Her head spun in directions, perhaps searching for something? I had to search too, a way up this mountain and for any sustenance suitable for either of us. Whatever she was doing, she walked away from me, no indication of why she had. I stayed put and watched her for a bit, waiting to understand her lead. She walked over, frollocking in the nearby trees, with her head held up high and her legs out strong. She kept going and going until she reached this part where the land drudged downward and out of my view. It was then that I went after her, wanting to make sure she stayed safe. The ground on the hill was loose and slanted, but the filly didn’t seem to be having any troubles, I suspected the same for myself. I still didn’t see where she was going, or why. Did she know something I didn’t? Perhaps a sense I was incapable of that she had herself luring her towards something she wanted? Whatever the case, I was forced to follow her. The hill connected with another, creating a rain trail. She was following it downhill, slowly, carefully, but still managed to slip. She gave out a scream, not one of fear, but of surprise, it still managed to remind me of that rabbit, the scream it gave once, and due to my actions, was its last action with another being, I felt sorry for it, but that was yesterday, and today is now, I had other things to think about currently. She slid down on her belly, staining her fear green from the wild grass. I chased after her, only to find myself in the same predicament as her. I clawed the ground, trying to gain some more friction and stop myself, but it went through my paws. I kept clawing for anything, roots, branches, weeds, but even those seemed to be too loose. I looked back, trying to see if the girl had regained anything of her balance, nope. She was still on her way down, down into what looked like a crack in the earth. The ground had split away, separating our hill from the one next to it. I had never seen something like this, some strange small canyon. I didn’t know what would lie below, but I knew it would probably hurt both of us. It wasn’t far now, so close for the filly. She fell in, scared and screaming, with nothing to do but let it happen. The slope was too slippery to prevent this. I could barely take it, watching helplessly as she fell in. Her hooves sprawled up before she fell in, so tempting to grab, if only I could’ve. I guess she was luckier than me, with less momentum. I fell in, crashing into the adjacent wall, breaking half of my antlers off. It didn’t hurt as much as I thought it should, maybe it wasn’t part of me at all? The thump when she landed was silently disturbing, like a spectral being swatted. It was the last thing I remember. So gentle was it that I had almost believed the same would be for me. What a foolish thought… I awoke into a light night, the kind of night where it should be pitch black, but for some reason you see a surprising amount around you. I loved these nights. So seldom and tranquil, the kind you just stare out into space and think. Didn’t matter what you thought about at all, it was just nice to think about it. You didn’t need anyone, just yourself, and that’s the part I loved the most. I could do this for once and not be missing anything essential, a night perfect to live through, awake or not. Soon it would be over, as the dark clouds approached clearer than leaves on the trees above. I looked around the crevice we had fallen into, seeing no clear way back up. The area itself was a stream, an old one carving out the hill for centuries probably, the water wasn’t deep, barely three inches in the middle, and didn’t go far up on the side.. The walls were light up, water reflecting from the moon, sparkling so bright. The filly had fallen near me, she appeared to be half-awake, shivering and wet, other than that she looked fine, besides her previous injuries and suspected illness. I tapped her with my paw, grabbing her fur and lifting her up. We couldn’t stay here, at least not for long. There was no way up revealed to us currently, heading downstream would just put us somewhere unknown and probably in a pond or a lake, this filly wasn’t ready for that, but upstream didn’t seem like the best option either, at least it was closer to shelter than we could hope for tonight. She got on my back, accustomed to this way of travel now, and we were ready to take off. I didn’t start off sprinting or running, just simply walking up the trail like it were routine taken every night. The filly rustled around on my back, trying to find a place to hold on and stay comfortable. I liked the feel of her, not in some odd creepy way, but in a way that it was nice to have someone next to you after the ages of solitude, perhaps that is a creepy way… aren’t I one anyways? I walked in twists and turns for what seemed to be miles. An hour, at least, passed by and the storm neared us. The walls never ceased to heighten, but it was too late and risky to turn back. I didn’t know what to expect, most of the rain would’ve slid into this abyss anyways, not down a ramp. I guess I was hoping for my knowledge to fail, or maybe an area where the water wouldn’t reach us in this narrow hallway. But oh, prayers don’t suddenly come true just because you want or need them to, they only come when nature suddenly gives a way. I felt the first drop fall down, after a while the wall had a secondary made of water, so flat and smooth falling down to the blunt floor. The filly was going to be soaked, and that itself was a horrible problem. She was already sick, a cold was too much for her right now. I had to hurry. My back was still in pain, the filly on top of it wasn’t helping too much, I wouldn’t be able to run very fast, maybe it’s for the best that I don’t, I might slip. The filly coughed, I paid no unnecessary attention to it. Continuing through this maze seemed to be hopeless. The water started pouring down in larger amounts, raising the level. I was trudging through a foot in the matter minutes. The filly was losing her grip, I could feel her hooves sliding off my neck. The water just kept rising and pushing me back. The walls narrowed and twisted a little less. I could hear the pounding of water close by. The floor started to slant now, lowering. A waterfall was near. I kept pushing myself forward, even as the water began to slam into me and the filly from above, forced upon us by the walls forming almost a roof. One more turn through this path and I could see it. It splashed all around, white water and a large area carved out. I still had no sight on any ramp or cove, but I had to keep moving forward. Stepping into the pond area, I found myself falling into the water, the floor disappearing. I couldn’t reach with my paws at all, and I wasn’t the best swimmer. I tried my best, but I could barely keep my head above the water with the filly holding me down. She was panicking and squirming all over, splashing water in every direction, fidgeting on her natural instinct. I looked up, forced to just so I could keep looking at the direction I was heading. Rocks were falling down, forced by the mountain flow. They weren’t boulders, but they sure would hurt. I could see an opening behind the waterfall, some sort of mined out hole. I made my way around the waterfall, trying to avoid its force as best as possible. It worked well, as I could feel pebbles near my paws, the floor was rising over here. We were going to make it. Splash… > Summit > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I awoke. I awoke in pain. But I still woke, and that itself was enough for thousands of possibilities. We weren’t anywhere that I could remember, in fact my sight was blurred from understanding this new location. I recalled water, a lot of it, all in a sideways spiral that lead into a dead end filled with nothing other than being left in unconsciousness. I despised being unconscious, it wasn’t like sleep at all, but it wasn’t like death. When you’re dead there is just an eternal void of wanting life and nothing else. Sleep is different, you know you’re asleep, you know you’re alive. Being unconscious though… it’s like some twisted mix between sleep and death. It’s like a coma without the rest, and I was for sure tired. I was always tired. My sight started to return. My body was shattered from bludgeoned branches to shrapnel splinters all around me. I looked around and saw rock. This appeared to me as a cave of some sorts, one that lead upwards into a larger cavern system. There was a strange fungus dotting all over, it gave off an odd light, just like a firefly. It didn’t brighten everything up as sunlight would, but well enough to see around the area. The filly was huddled near a corner around the natural staircase. I didn’t see her move at all, it worried me but my body was weaker than my mind. There was nothing I could currently do for her. In hopes, I could perhaps regain strength in time to build back my body and begin an approach towards her. Something scared me though, what if the worse had happened? Could I just have doomed my bore of a life to see the life of this creature be freed only to end it earlier than it would have had she been kept a slave? Would I be left with the burial? She was already sick and weak before this cave, what more could she handle with me alone to care for both of us? I simply laid there, watching, waiting, resting, all with a thirst in my mind for something more, wanting for a feeling that I did not know, I could not name it, nor feel it, but I knew I wanted this feeling. It was odd. Of all the psychological anomalies that I would never understand, I couldn’t help but wonder, to think of all the vast possibilities that could be causing what I desired to know. All the chemicals, magic, and perhaps even biological trials that had brought into this instance, all of them to be unknown to others and I for life, and ages beyond, it interested me. The search for knowledge would go beyond anything, always feeding itself sand. It was in this strange moment when all my thoughts jumbled and collided that I had realized I was mad. Next thing I knew, it was cold, hours had passed and the filly had stayed in the relevant area. I wasn’t as tired as I was before, able now to pull myself together as best as I could, which was well enough to walk, thankfully. Getting up was an interesting thing to do, seeing as how it gave me an artificial feeling. I was numb, limbs with no nerves, nothing to allow physical feeling, and yet there it was, against all odds I felt the dirt and rock against my bark as much as I imagined the filly could herself, though her existence wasn’t questionable, like my own. I gathered back the many twigs and branches that had collapsed from my body, placing them back in their correct place and walked towards the filly’s location. She was still spurred around the same corner before I slept for the second time in what I could only see as a dry spot in the save. As I got closer, her chest was still moving, drawing breath into her fleshy lungs, what a sigh of relief it was. Now I could see wooden boxes just around the corner. One of them, the closest to the filly in this enclosing section, had small scratches, dents, and teeth marks. She must’ve tried to open it. I nuzzled my snout next to her back and pushed her a little, trying to wake her. She refused. She hadn’t any food for days, nor clean water, the fatigue she had carried around had been too much for anypony of her stature. I wouldn’t be able to take her far like this without finding her sustenance, as well as some for myself. Maybe she was onto something? I never knew where her kind usually got food, it would be strange for me if ponies stuck their food into crates, but what did I know? Either way, she tried to open one. I slammed my hind feet into the container, barely a scratch left. It wasn’t some cheap wood, something stronger than my own. I kept at it though, biting, scratching, slamming, kicking, anything that could work. Over time it weakened just enough for little chips to combine into cracks spanning over all sides, but only revealed shadows on the inside. I gave it another kick, and another, each time swinging around to peer into the openings. One more kick and I had gotten through the wooden barrier. As soon as I cleared it out I wished for my time back, all that I could find in the crate was some sort of mineral, all polished up and shiny in the correct light, useless. All my time wasted on one box, could the other ones hold the same product? At the end of the room was a small exit, ramping up into the natural staircase, planted with low-set rails all the way up. There was some kind of civilization here, possibly ponies, possibly not, the answer relied on me going forward. Could I leave her behind for just a minute or two? She couldn’t go back, couldn’t wander anywhere even if she had the strength. What if something came by? I couldn’t let that small chance happen, because small chances have the biggest consequences when set just right. I picked her up, setting her on my back just as before, and began the summit. The ascent was slow, merely walking up, following the trail prepared before us with rails. They were rusted, overused, and in desperate need of replacement. At least they spared me some use. The filly moaned as her belly rumbled. I could feel it against my back, it made me thirst even more. She was such a cute little one, all the things she could do but never been able to show me, I wanted to see them all. I wanted to keep with her beyond our little adventure. She was different. She never screamed at me, or ran in terror just because of what I appeared to be, because she knew what I am is not the same as what I seem to be, just like her. A flightless pegasus, yet she was so much more than a pegasus, she was a new beginning, a new end, a new story, and beyond all, a friend. This was all I had been searching for this entire lifespan of mine, and her she was, not a name ever given, nor a conversation spoken and yet it felt like a year would go by with us protecting and caring for each other. And then these thoughts came at me from another angle. I felt… odd… as if I were attached to this stranger in a way that was creepy. So I destroyed my thoughts and went forward. The path went through small caverns, eventually reaching back into the main area. We were getting nowhere at this speed. There hadn’t been a cart, nor a box since the bottom. It made the search feel futile, like it all didn’t exist and I had just been sleeping still, dreaming that I saw those objects and kept walking, only to wake up mid-sleep, believing the dream was reality. Time passed and I had tired out. Looking up, I still couldn’t see where this was headed. Most of the cave was dark, if not for the luminous fungi, barely any sunlight now as the moon circled around again. All this time just going through this spiral, all the way up the an unknown top of some mountain, and it still seemed like it was the same loop, forced to play over and over against like the sun and the moon, chasing each other for eons. Was that our fate? To be stuck in some sort of parable until one day change comes, a small change that ends up becoming life or death, and maybe this is the end, forced into another loop, but at least in this one I wasn’t alone. Eventually we came to a spot where the ground leveled out. It had a cart, a few boxes again. It seemed to me as another transport station. Pickaxes and other inanimate objects lied about, giving enough hint to this as an old abandoned mine of some sort. I pulled the filly off me carefully, setting her down next to a crate and nuzzled up next to her for a minute. I just needed enough rest to keep going for the next bit. When I finally had enough to keep going I decided to wander around this area for a bit more. The filly needed more rest than me, surprisingly, as her life surely slipped away. Carrying her around all the time did no good for her anyways. Looking around, I couldn’t find anything interesting out of the area. I guess I had enough time to just admire the handiwork. I stepped over to the cart. It was rusted out, the floor completely gone, and the wheels appeared to be eroded into the rails. There wasn’t anything special here. I guess I just wanted some time to stop again, like the old days, just lie down and admire the small things in life, like a leaf blowing in the wind. I kept staring at the broken cart before I began pacing around it, mapping every corner of it. In this constant turning, mesmerizing the same objects faults over and over that I didn’t even notice what it held beneath it. Below its rotten bottom, puddled in a small hole, began the existence of a liquid. All these days searching for another source for myself and her it was, just another ration of blight water to quench my thirst. I kicked one of the sides of the cart, it gave away with such ease. I moved what of it I could out of the way and took my long awaited drink. It was fulfilling, it gave me life whereas other creatures it was poison. I guess it made sense, anything that could be eaten by everything seemed a little easy in the long term. It a second it was gone, I felt ready for another ten miles, but in truth I knew I could not even do three without a rest session. It had been enough time now anyways. It was time we started again. I went back to my little pony and picked her up. She snuggled herself as best as she could on my back, too rested to sleep now. It could be a while, I hope she’s up to it. We continued once more for what I suspected to be miles upwards, stopping when necessary. Kept on following the only path we had since the start. It bored me. At worst luck, with nothing or nopony at the top, we could probably find another cart and slide down the slope quicker than it took to get to the peak. I don’t recall it taking over a day, but the sunlight began to shine into the cavern again. I could see the opening at the summit, edged with what I could guess as rocks overlooking the opening. We were close, so very close. Soon I could hear the chirping of a bird, the clashing of the wind against hard rock. There were no promises of any sentient life up there, but at least there was the pain of payment here. Then there were noises that seemed… odd… especially for ponies. Fire ravaged above, giving off intense heat, even I could feel it through the thick, touch rock ceiling. Metal slammed against metal. It was something new, extremely new. As the rampway lead to the final ascent I could see a gateway. It looked like it hadn’t been used in a long while, besides the cart-door on the side. I knew this could’ve been the last bit of my journey with the filly. I knew this would happen. Even if I brought her to a pony civilization or a griffon civilization, or whatever this one proved to be, my kind wasn’t welcomed, never was. Maybe this was my purpose in life, just to waste it all entirely thinking myself so largely compared to the rest of my kind that I didn’t notice they lived more than me. So what if I lived for centuries before and perhaps after if my life didn’t begin until I wasted everything for one little creature. All this time and so little used. No regrets. Not now, not ever. I lead myself up to the door, placing the filly right down next to me. The look in her eyes, so beautiful. She just stared at me, watching me as I kicked the door. There was no point in hiding, there wasn’t even anywhere to hide. I just sat down next to her and waited for a response, if any, had they even heard the knock through all the noise behind these giant metal doors. It seemed like a lifetime would pass before they would open, but they never did, at least not on their own. I walked myself up the the smaller door, gently pressed my head against it, and it fell off its hinges. There wasn't much beyond the gate, not much I could see anyways, just a few rock formations and ruins of old houses. I went back for the filly, picked her up, and settled down in one of the abandoned houses. It acted as a windbreaker, a good one too, as this night was a cold one. I hoped that when the sun came again, I could get a view of the surrounding regions, and perhaps a way for the filly to return home. > Amends > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I awoke that night to the cold. It was later than normal, technically it was early, since to these creatures the day begins in the middle of the night. I didn't feel much, before, or at all in my memory for that matter, before this night. The cold was a conscious remark, never a sensation. Here I am thinking words that I can never know the meaning to, acting like a wise being when all I've done is observe. To speak, yet never understand, as a big of a tragedy as to cry and never be sad. Perhaps though it is that I think too much for my thoughts to be heard or my words to be pronounced un-slurred. My memories... they begin to fade, but I do not remember, so how can I have really forgotten? I did not choose my life to begin now, with this filly, to get off my mound and do what I have never, and I did not choose to be born without knowledge of how my kind come to be. Here I am, the idiot of my kind. The Omega. The Outcast. I sighed, blowing air onto the filly. I watched as the tiny hair strands moved to the flow of my breath. What was this like to her? I envied the child, she could experience so much more than me, all I could do is watch and listen, perhaps this was all she needed me to do. Sometimes thoughts and words are as helpful as salt to an open wound. I continued to watch the sky and all its beauty, still wondering about home for the filly. What was home for her though? Home for me was a place with family, yet I was just a stranger. How is that a home at all? I could care for her out here, in my world. Ah, there I go again, acting as if I am wise amongst this world. The stars will do that to you, they glisten so bright, make the darkness seem so faint, and seem so small, but size is always underestimated. I stayed there, watching the stars begin to fade out into their own light, and as day arrived, the filly began to warm and wake. The filly had been talking in her slumber. She had been in a very deep sleep. Her illness was consuming her mind. She told an unusual tale. She spoke of creatures known as friends, not ponies, and even gave them specific titles. She knew them as Sweetie Belle and Applebloom. I never had much time to study ponies, as they were fretting whenever my kind came about. I could only conceive the idea that a friend was a rank in their society, much like Alpha and Beta in mine. She made it out that she must’ve possessed this rank too, as she spoke of them as equals. They were different though, so I still could not understand. She never gave herself a title in her entire night tale. I hoped for something other than filly, but there simply wasn’t any evidence other than her gender placement. Her speech went into her adventures with the friends. It was like the trio was exploring the world, and themselves, quite a bit. I envied the filly. She, of young age, had so much time spent discovering herself, and I had centuries spent discovering nothing but knowledge, most of it used in spite of my own kind. I was a failure. I wasn’t a timberwolf in spirit. Oh how life plays tricks on the few, and order favors the many. She was a fire, and I, the ashen timber. She would be the death of me, but my death would keep her alive. A fine trade, in my perspective. It wasn’t some depressive reasoning behind it, but logical favor. I hoped that when this was over she could think of me as a friend that she spoke of earlier. I think I’d like to be that. It sounds nice, unlike what my kind called each other. I did not miss them at all, yet I felt I should have. Is that a form of longing? Missing the feeling of missing something, what a confusing thing it is. I picked up the filly, as enough light was out to see my way around. There was nothing at the summit, only dust and rocks around the slanted top. I had no heading now, what would I do? It wouldn’t be smart to just take off in a random direction again. No, she needed help, things that I could not give. I made my way down the way I came up, despite everything I argued against myself every which way I tried. There were more turns down the cavern than what I remembered. I soon found myself in a tunnel leading out the side of the mountain. I was stuck out of a ledge, it wasn’t very wide, but enough to get by. I feared the fall, as the ledge did not seem very sturdy. It wasn’t long till I found my way onto the forest floor. It was damp, but I did not recall any rain from the night before. The grass seemed to be soaked recently, perhaps something washed through here, but what could have caused this? I felt silly for being so interested in it. Maybe I needed more sleep. Did I even need sleep? Maybe not sleep, but I knew I needed something. I kept my way through the forest, there seemed to be waves, or rather a route that the dampness followed. It wasn’t downhill or anything that it should have followed, it was the most random pattern, if it was one at all, just wandering through the forest, as if someone was going around with a very large, leaky bucket. It was then that I heard it moving, maybe even speaking in its own strange tongue. It was like a tree, but moving. It was I, or rather, one of my kind, if we stood upright and not on all our legs at once. Chase took way in my mind, but in reality, I stood and watched it, everything seemed distant but the creature. It hymed in tunes and cleansed the ground as it wandered the forest. It had an odd face, a flat one, but only used two legs, while the other two swang freely as it moved about. If it was intelligent to hym a song, perhaps a conversation, perhaps help? I had to know. I moved closer, not too fast, in case it would become scared or threatened, but it turned its head when I got close, and just turned back, not a care towards me at all. But then, after a pause, and my continuum to follow, it played along. I could not understand it at all, but it seemed to speak the same language as every other creature in this land, but with a lisp or a slur that was severe. I could’ve been wrong though, so as always, I played the part of the mute. I laid the filly down, and nudged her towards the creature. He knelt down and looked at her for a time being. His words came with no translation, and this was clear to him that I did not know what he was saying. When he got up he pointed in a direction and I assumed he meant for me to head that way, in the shadow of the mountain still. He went on his way, cleansing his forest. I had nothing to call him but a memory now. I assume thats all most people will ever be in someone else's life, just a memory. I wonder how they cope with that outside of here, because in the end we lose everything but our memories, after that its an eternity in the abyss. I followed in that direction for some ways before I stopped at a stream. I think the filly was starting to recover, unless she was just so used to the pain by now it didn’t matter. Is that a sad thing, or just evolution being a genius at itself? She got up enough after I sat her down so she could get a drink without my help. The stream was clear and the water seemed healthy, it was clear and running through a dirt bank. Everything seemed safe and calm, but that’s the frightening part. There were small lizards running about, they appeared friendly. The most they could have been were pests as they crawled into my crevices and made me their home. I did not mind for some reason, as they did not care for the filly at all. When she was done, I picked her back up and crossed the stream. It seemed like we’d make it out of the forest soon, as the trees began to diminish, like my fears of her death. I could see it near, a fence line not a mile away. The only question in my mind was if this was her real home. We had traveled so far, and in circles I had no idea about. I could see other ponies just like her frollocking about near a pond. They seemed to be enjoying the water on this hot day. I wish I could do the same. It seemed so warm, so very, very warm. The filly, sitting knitty on my head, became excited as she saw the same things as I. Her joy made me feel even warmer. I think I felt good, but how could I be sure what I felt? I knew not to get too near, so at the edge of the forest I sat her down. She was healthy enough now to limp off towards her kind. I knew this was the end of our journey. I hoped the best for her now, and forever after. There was never a name to give her, but I think I can refer to her as my friend. I felt a sensation I had never felt before. Maybe this was what it felt to be alive. I was warm, but this was too much. There was a pain in my hind leg, so I turned to look. Those harmless little lizards, how stupid and arrogant I had been. I was singed and burning. Fire Salamanders. I watched my body fall apart, into pieces, into ash, and the embers glowed brightly. I stared and watched with awe, not sadness. Destruction was a form of beauty, and beauty must be seen from all sides to be known. Here was the wasting of my life, and now I was stuck with just my memories. I always wondered what death would be like, and as the flames scorched my head, I had found my opportunity. An endless dream, could that be the abyss, or is it a labyrinth I can never escape?