I woke up as Blossomforth. Then, my life got really weird.
Some ponies are called to destiny. Some ponies rise to new challenges. Then, there's me, who turned into a background pegasus and started flying around on a cross-country trip. Life really is picaresque sometimes.
I suppose it’s what I get for tempting fate, but can you blame me? People turning into ponies left and right, Discord screwing up any notion of a Gregorian Calendar for at least the near future, the world in varying shades of panic- what self-respecting fan wouldn’t start cruising the background pony list for good fits?
“You’d be an adorable Blossomforth,” I’d told my girlfriend, holding up my laptop.
She’d nodded and blew her nose, her mild cold rendering her more as smiling audience than vocally responsive crowd. She’d then gone to bed with me grinning at the picture thinking, yeah, Jessica would be cute and she loved the notion of being a flying pegasus.
So of course I’m the one who actually wakes up as one. Of course.
Day 10
I knew something wasn’t quite right when I woke at 5:00 am, ready to go. I’m a fairly light sleeper and don’t need a lot of rest, so it wasn’t unheard of for me to wake at any hour, but I usually rolled back over till my internal alarm woke me at 7:00 am. I figured maybe I was being thrown by the fact it was Threesday till I rubbed my eye.
Maybe if I hadn’t rubbed my eye, I’d have just lay there unawares. But as soon as I rubbed my eye, quite a few things became apparent.
One) I did not have fingers.
Two) I had things on my back.
Three) My face was fuzzy.
Four) The dog was on my side of the bed, sniffing intently.
The last really got my attention as Phouka, our mixed breed, blond, coyote-looking animal companion was making her disconcerted whine as she sniffed at my elbow, which I noticed in the dim light was propped near the side of the bed. She then started licking my elbow, so I rolled over and ran a hoof over her, which calmed her considerably.
Certainly got my brain in gear. Hard to claim you’re in the fuzz when you feel your dog’s fur from your frog rather than the palm of your hand.
I blew in Phouka’s nose, to give her my scent, and she sneezed. She licked my nose and I got a bit of her scent, which was... Different. I felt like she’d just flipped up her Facebook ID and I knew what her relationship status was, that she was a helper and liked to lay on couches and beds and comfy blankets.
“I knew those last three, silly,” I whispered and blinked.
Whoa. So not my voice. More squeaky and definitely higher. I’m- I was big and had a kind of a rough voice for a girl, so this was... Different.
Alright. I’m a pony. Pegasus if those muscles in my back were anything to go by, which was completely unfair. Not that I’m against pegasi, I just had a preference to Earth Ponies. The OC I made in the generator was an Earth Pony.
I shook my head, setting preferences aside. I needed to get a handle on things.
Taking a deep breath, I stood on the bed, shuffling back the covers and nearly toppled over as a result. I snapped my eyes shut and listened to my new body.
It’s not as hippy dippy as it sounds. You just close your eyes and feel out where your balance naturally wants to go. I picked it up from doing a lot of dance and some martial arts as a kid.
Though engrossed in finding how my new pony body sorted itself, I felt the bed shift as Phouka hopped up and curl up to sleep. She only did this when there was enough room, and as I was barely taller than the dog and probably weighed less, space was not an issue anymore.
Out of reflex, I muttered, “Your majesty.” This just earned me a brief tail wag.
My girlfriend, Jessica, stirred nearby and her arm moved around, searching. Carefully, I reached out a forehoof and moved the pillow that was my substitute into her reach. She grinned slightly and pulled it close. The Me-pillow filled in whenever I had work before Jess. Not as good as the genuine article, she said, but it smelled like me.
As she inhaled the scent I had left on the pillow, I realized I could vaguely smell my scent too. My old scent. Wow. I used to smell pretty good. Kinda comforting and friendly.
Shaking my head again, I briefly wondered if I had some kind of pony ADD or was just freaking out in the calmest way ever. Taking a breath, I focused back on learning to walk.
I could feel Phouka’s eyes on me in the dark and I ignored them as I shuffled about, adjusting to my new balance. This wasn’t that hard, really. Four hooves plus tail and wings makes balance kind of an afterthought. What was hard was trying to ignore those parts of my brain that were screaming I shouldn’t have been able to do this, but it was okay because this was how it was only not.
Maybe I really was having a very calm breakdown.
Once I was happy I wasn’t going to face plant simply from walking, I wiggled my little booty and hopped down from the bed. And promptly face planted.
Thank you, thank you. I’m here all week. Try the veal and tip your waitress on the way out.
“Love...?” came Jessica’s groggy voice.
“Just... Having some navigation issues,” I said from the floor.
“Mmm.”
Jessica’s brain doesn’t get into gear until a certain hour. Anything before that is because her Girlfriend In Danger sense went off. Seeing as how I was simply stumbling in the night, I just warranted a confirmation of okay-ness. Even if I sounded like somepony else.
Rising, I rubbed at the ache in my jaw and moved out of our bedroom into the living room. My wings spread on instinct, feeling the amount of space I had available to me. I pulled them back in and walked through the living room to the sunroom.
Originally, I’d thought of going to the bathroom, but seeing as I still didn’t really know how to use my wings and hauling myself up to the counter for a peek at my new pony visage was going to be a hassle, I opted for the full length mirror we kept in the sunroom. Normally, it was for cosplay or costuming projects, but I figured it’d work for seeing a new pony body.
As I stared up at the light switch, considering this sudden new hurdle in my life, out of the corner of my eye, I saw myself moving about in the mirror. I was shrouded in early-morning dark, so it wasn’t a clear picture per se, but I could make out my shape well enough. Definitely pegasus.
Going to our coat rack/umbrella stand, I pulled my umbrella loose with my mouth and went back to the light switch, rapping at it till I got it switched on. Steeling myself, I put the umbrella down and turned.
My mane was bluntly cut in bangs over my eyes and short on my neck with alternating stripes of bright green and a pink-magenta. My tail had the same coloration and pattern and blunt cut on the end, but unlike my mane it was long, nearly down to my rear fetlocks.
My fur wasn’t strictly white; more of a soft vanilla which extended to my wings. My cutie mark, a pair of flowers which subtly looked like gears matched my mane and tail colors. Freckles in a lighter shade of vanilla dusted across my muzzle, and I could hear Jess asking if I thought freckles were cute now that I had some. They looked cute enough on me, that was for sure.
Opening my mouth, I found flat teeth, regular tongue. I made faces a bit and giggled.
The most striking, though, were my eyes- they were practically unchanged. I’d had blue eyes my whole life and when I got glasses, a friend had encouraged me to get contacts so I “wouldn’t hide those pretty blues.” Jessica says she’s a big fan of them too, so I had stared at the color for a while to see what the fuss was all about. Expecting a full overhaul to this pony body, it was weird to see them still intact in a way, though in a new face and shaped a bit differently.
Then, it clicked as I recognized myself. I was Blossomforth. The pony I’d shown Jess last night.
Oh sweet Celestia, I was a pegasus from Equestria named Blossomforth. And I didn’t know who that was.
I could guess, sure. Maybe she was like the mare of the same name in the Winningverse fics. Maybe she was completely different. Maybe she was from Stalliongrad. The most I knew was that she’d been one of the featured pegasi in Hurricane Fluttershy. AND WHO KNEW HOW ACCURATE THAT WAS?!
I closed my eyes and breathed deeply.
Focus, I thought. C’mon. You definitely can’t take your meds in this body. It... Could really mess you up.
Opening them again, I started from square one.
“Hi, I’m Blossomforth,” I said, offering a hoof to the mirror. “But you can call me January for now.”
I smiled at myself and felt a little better. Okay, it was silly, but introductions help, even if it’s your new face.
Because though this was a new face, I knew about the girl behind it. I knew I was still January, would-be author, hiding out in tech support land till I figured out what to do with my life. I was a proud geek girl who watched a LOT of cartoons, Friendship is Magic in particular, and had a healthy love of books and reading. I hadn’t changed. I was still me. The only thing that had changed was my body.
My body had simply betrayed me again. That was no change at all.
Maybe I didn’t have the most mature of ideas, but I couldn’t help it, I thought it was pretty funny.
Jessica’s alarm went off and I heard her muffle about in her blankets. As she did, I floated up to our ancient stovetop and clicked on the burner, warming up her tea.
“I’m starting tea!” I called back to her.
“Thanks!” she groaned back.
As per usual with anyone in the kitchen, Phouka trotted in and smiled her doggy smile at me, tail wagging. I adjusted my wings and floated down to stroke her. She really seemed to like being hoof rubbed rather than the usual scratches I did with my fingers. More proof our dog was a very good dog, but she wasn’t very good at being a dog, I guess.
I heard Jess shuffle into the bathroom, washing her face and getting her brain in gear.
As she woke up, I fluttered around the kitchen, getting a mug from the top shelf with my mouth, popping open the morning tea box and actually managing to thread the string on the handle so it wouldn’t submerge with the tea bag. My morning of Let’s Try New Things With Our Hooves had apparently paid off.
The tea kettle hit steam and I grabbed the handle with my mouth and poured, sloshing only a bit onto the counter. Moving the cup out of the way, I mopped up my mess and squeezed a little dollop of honey into the tea. I moved over to the other side of the kitchen and sat on my usual spot on the edge of the counter next to the sink.
Picking up Jess’s iPad, I flicked through the news and Facebook, trying to get more information on this whole pony thing. I’d tried using my laptop, but the iPad was a bit more hoof friendly.
She came shuffling in soon enough, hair still sleep rumpled and she grinned at me.
“Hey love,” I said and leaned forward to peck her on the cheek.
She made a delighted noise and wrapped an arm around my neck, and as she was kissing me back, I got a front row seat to her brain coming online.
“Holy shit!” she yelled, slamming away from me and whacking her head on the small shelf we’d built to hold our shot glasses.
“Ah! Er!” she hissed, grabbing the back of her head and crunching inward.
“Oh!” I half-laughed. “Babe, I am so sorry!”
She waved me off and rubbed the back of her head furiously.
Phouka danced between us, making brief worried whines.
“Easy there,” I said, floating down to stroke her along the back. “Eeeeaaasy.”
Unlike the thousand other times I’d try that tactic, she actually responded that time and relaxed into a sit, tail wagging happily. She licked me.
Jess watched in slight confusion.
“J- January?” she said.
“Yeah?” I said, floating up so I was at her eye level.
“You’re flying.”
I smiled. “Yup! Neat, idn’t it?”
She sank down, her eyes locked on me.
I floated over to the teacup and retrieved it, feeling its heat through the fur around my fetlock, but not feeling so much heat I couldn’t hold it. I’d had eczema in my human body and it had gotten to my fingers, so I was mega sensitive to anything I picked up. I was glad I could now hold hot tea for longer than two seconds.
I eased down next to Jess and hoofed her the tea. She stared at it, me for a second, then took the proffered cuppa.
“Thanks,” she said, quietly.
“‘Everyone deserves tea,’” I quoted from Lizzie Bennet Diaries, one of her favorite shows.
She breathed a laugh as she looked at me.
“Wow,” she said.
Sitting on my rump next to her, I nodded my agreement.
“That- You’re a pony!” she said, almost laughing. She blinked. “You’re a pegasus!”
“It’s a huge blow to Earth Pony fans the world over,” I said solemnly. “Why not Carrot Top, y’know?”
She sort-of laughed some more and shook her head. Phouka whined and licked her ankle.
“It’s okay, baby,” she said, stroking the animal. “Mommy’s just... Dealing with Other Mommy’s... Thing.”
“More like two and three and-”
Jess put a hand on my neck.
“Sorry,” I said.
“I just need a minute,” she said.
I moved in to lay my neck across her shoulder and wrap my wings around her. Jess was a more tactile person than I was. I tended to close off when stressed. She needed contact. Hugs were a must when she was presented with potential freak outs.
Eventually, I felt her nod and release me, reluctantly as she always did. Good. She still thought I was me.
Frowning, she looked me over and I could practically see the light bulb appear over her head.
“You said I’d make a good Blossomforth!” she accused with a smirk. She started coughing then and I remembered she still had a cold.
Flying up from my spot, I got the box of tissues from the living room and returned, hoofing them to her.
“Thanks,” she replied, nasally.
After she blew her nose, I said, “I did say that. You think I planned this?”
“I think a pegasus is wasted on you,” she said with the smirk still in place. She sipped more tea.
“No disagreement here,” I replied. “Maybe I would have been more curious about unicorns, but Earth Ponies are... There’s like all this maybe lore that we don’t know about. I was hoping I’d see just how that connection with the land really felt!”
Even though it really just means they’re naturals at farming and growing, I thought.
Wait. Did I think that?
Blinking a few times, Jess brought me back to the conversation at hand.
“Well, you’re a pegasus now. I’m not.” She mock pouted.
“There, there,” I said, petting her with my hoof. “Maybe you’ll become a unicorn and lord your ability to manipulate things with magic over me.”
“Ugh, I hope not,” she said, blowing her nose again. “I have a show later today.”
She blinked. “I have a show today. Hnngh. I have to get ready.” Rising, she saw that I had put the mug on the counter and was following her.
“Mind if I tag along?” I said.
“What?”
“I figure I won’t stick out at the Puppet Center as much as everywhere else.”
“Ponies are already all over. Why are you worried about sticking out?”
“Because so is the People Against Ponies Association.”
She cocked her head.
“I woke up early, did some reading. In addition to many of us bronies, pegasisters and general fans waking up in the fur, as it were, a bunch of jerks have organized to hate us: the People Against Ponies Association.”
“PAPA?” she said, hopping out of her pj pants and sleep tee.
“Yup. And knowing hate-filled organizations, I wouldn’t be surprised if the South would be the first to rise to this occasion.” I frowned, flapping over to the bed. “Man, I hope that’s not the truth. If Applejack shows up, she’s gonna be piiiiissed.”
She sighed, shaking her head and picking out a suitable bra for the day.
“What about your job?”
“I called, told them I was a pony. With the way our department has gotten kinda slow thanks to the calendar shenanigans, my boss was pretty cool about letting me take some time to adjust. I even sent in a pic with me next to my work ID. He got a laugh out of that.”
Jess laughed too. “You made your DMV face, didn’t you?”
I flattened my expression into boredom then let it bounce back to life. “Something like that,” I said chipperly, which sounded genuinely chipper with my light voice.
I shook my head. “This is so weird.”
“It... Doesn’t hurt?”
“I am in no pain, love,” I responded. “Just... Weirded out. Guess I won’t need my meds anymore.”
Jess sighed at that. Walking over to me, she kissed me on my cheek.
“I prefered you, but if this is you for now, I still love you.”
“Love you back,” I said, blushing.
She shook her head with a smile, finishing her prep for the day.
The ride to the Puppet Center was quiet and going inside was as well, though Jess took the privilege of saying, “Hey, Liz, don’t mind her, my girlfriend got turned into a pony. She’s gonna be hiding out here for today, alright?”
As she kept walking and I gave a friendly wave, the Poe Puppet Show’s Producer, Liz, just barely got around her coffee to sputter, “Sure.”
“How’d you learn to fly so fast?” Jess asked as I floated next to her down the stairs to the basement theaters.
“I’ve been up since five. Flying seemed a natural extension after walking and how to use my hooves.”
“And you picked it up, like that?”
“There were some... Initial issues,” I admitted, as we turned the corner to the black box.
“Uh-huh. How many times did you crash into a wall?”
“Enough times to start using your old scooter helmet,” I said.
She had the decency not to laugh too hard at me.
As stage manager, Jess was there ahead of all the actors and performers to set up for the morning show, so I hovered out of her way till I loosed a big old yawn.
“Been up since five, huh? Get any breakfast?” she said from her control booth.
“I had- *yaaaawn* -Pop-Tarts,” I replied flying to the door.
“Yeah, you probably have a hummingbird’s metabolism now. Don’t think that’s gonna work for you anymore, Cupcake.”
I grinned. She only called me Cupcake when she was feeling sassy. I liked it when my girlfriend was sassy.
“Well, next time I- *yaaawn* -turn into a magical creature from a kid’s cartoon show, I’ll be- *yawn* -sure to think about my stomach first.”
“You wanna crash in the green room?”
I shook my head. “Smelled funky enough as a human. Can’t imagine it now.” I floated down to the ground and walked into a corner beneath her soundboard.
“Think you can remember not to kick me down here?” I asked.
“Sure thing, love.” She watched as I settled down, getting comfortable and fluffing my wings. “My little pony, all curled up so sweet,” she cooed.
I laughed and raised up my head, inviting her. She bent down and I pecked her on the cheek. She moved to kiss me on the lips and we parted. She had the oddest look on her face.
“Keep it to cheek pecks for now?” I asked.
“No. Just... This is gonna take some adjusting.”
“Tell- *yawn* -me about it. It’s just as weird on my end, Firefly.”
She grinned at my nickname for her. “Does this mean I’ll turn into Firefly?” Jess asked.
“Uck, G1,” I muttered and nestled down into the corner, my eyelids drooping and sleep quickly claiming me.
I opened my eyes at a mailbox. The mailbox was connected to a white, weathered fence that started to fade away after about a hundred feet. The fence had a gate to a path that led to a squat, one-story house with thatched roof that looked like it fit in nicely with Friendship is Magic’s aesthetic.
Lifting my hand, I paused. I looked down and yeah, it was a hand, but something wasn’t quite right about it. I turned it over and a fine, auburn fur, the same color as my hair used to be, was running up my arm. Reaching up to my face, I could feel my nose was pushed out a bit in an almost muzzle and my ears had moved to the top of my head. Yet, I was upright on my two feet. I had a flicking, pony’s tail though.
“Neither girl, nor pony, but a mix of both...” I muttered. “What hath science wrought?”
Pushing open the gate I went up the lawn and as I reached up to knock on the door, it opened of its own accord.
Peeking around inside, I saw a spacious living room which butted against a cramped kitchen with a good view of a forest behind the house and a hallway that led off. The sound of clopping hoofsteps grew close and Blossomforth entered.
She looked over at me, my hand hovering where I was about to knock. She wore a pair of goggles on top of her head with a tool belt around where her waist would be and a cuff on her right foreleg that had some loops on it.
“Hi,” she said, blinking at me.
“Hey,” I replied.
“Why don’t you... Come in?”
“Sure,” I said, and walked in, the door closing behind me.
I don’t know why I expected to be stooping, but I wasn’t as the ceiling seemed to be just tall enough to accommodate my tall frame. Once inside, I watched as she crossed the living room floor to a machine I couldn’t even begin to describe. Yet, somehow...
“Is- Is that an instant camel?” I asked.
She nodded, fitting a screwdriver to her hoofcuff. “I found it in when I first got here. Since I had some spare time, I figured...” She shrugged and got to work.
I plopped into a spacious easy chair and realized it was thoroughly broken in. Possibly secondhand, but it felt like third.
“Well, thanks. You’re...”
“Yup,” said Blossomforth, adjusting her hoofcuff and fitting another tool in. “And you’re January.”
“More or less,” I said, looking down at my hands. I noticed my nails were thick and almost the same color as my fur.
“Are we dreaming?” I asked.
“More or less,” Blossomforth replied.
“Huh.” I stood up again, the ceiling seeming to pull away from me. I went over to a side window that showed the world fading along after only a little bit.
I frowned. That wasn’t right.
I thought about long fields and the openness of the plains on the outskirts of Ponyville and the nothingness filled in, detail present. Grass spread out into a welcoming field dotted with trees and birdsong could be heard and...
“Don’t waste too much time on that,” Blossomforth said. “You made enough room for me already and... You’re, um... You’re being very accommodating. You don’t need to go any further.”
I considered her for a moment. The nice thing about knowing nothing about Blossomforth was that I got to clean slate knowing her. She seemed a bit nervous, but that could have been the fact we were in the garden of my mind, so to speak.
“Yeah, but blank white nothing? That’s just asking for Other Mothers.”
Blossomforth shivered at that.
“Well. I wasn’t thinking about it before, but now that you are, I can’t help it.” She glanced back at me briefly and returned to her work. “You have some disturbing memories, you know that?”
I shrugged. “I don’t like thinking people can spook me or make me shut down by telling or showing me horrible things, so I kind of...”
“Yeah, yeah,” Blossomforth said. “I know. That’s a rough way to spend being a teenager.”
“Beats succumbing to being a one in four statistic,” I replied, crisply.
She looked back at me and I approached her, finding it easier to just get down on my hands than keep wondering about the ceiling. She tracked me carefully as I came up and stuck my head in the body of the machine.
After I was satisfied with what it needed, I pulled my head out and hoofed her a gear.
“That should help,” I said.
She looked at the gear. “Thanks.”
She kept turning the gear over in her hooves and I noticed she wore her hoofcuff on the same arm I’d wear my wristcuff. Hers at least had purpose, mine was... Well, it’s a bit silly, but I think of it as my “shield bracelet.” I’m not into jewelry, I have three necklaces and two pairs of earrings to my name, but I liked my little cuff. It kept me safe.
Blossomforth didn’t look like she felt safe.
“Hey...” I said. “Am I- Am I moving too fast here, because...”
She shook her head. Exhaling, she licked her lips.
“I’m just- I feel like I should remember something and tell you something, but I can’t...” She shook her head again. “I can’t think of it. So I start worrying I’m disappearing because I’m not in my own mind and I’m like a guest in here and you’re using me and I can barely see or hear anything and I’m thinking all this stuff, but it’s not me thinking it and...”
The ragged, wet noise in her throat broke and she shuddered. Taking my cue from all my time with Jess, I leaned against her and wrapped a comforting foreleg around her neck. She shook a little longer, not quite crying against my shoulder, then stilled.
Composed, she sniffed slightly. “I don’t know what’s going on,” she whispered.
“Me neither,” I replied, looking into the guts of the instant camel.
“And I’m in here with you now,” she said. “Who are you, anyway?”
“You don’t know?” I asked.
“I kind of ran here and... Hid.”
“Oh.”
My brow furrowed. After a moment of thought, I felt something warm radiate from my chest, as if Jess had just whispered that she loved me.
She blinked looking around. “What was that?”
“You should have free access, if you’re going to be here. Poke around. It’s your home. It’s your body, I’m just... You know what? Lemme see...”
A knock came from the door and I rose to gallop over. When I opened the door, the most familiar face in the whole world smiled down at me.
“Hot damn,” Nanashi said. “This is a thing.”
“Nanashi!” I squealed and leapt up to hug her around the neck. Not hard to do as I was apparently quite a tall pony now.
“Hey girl,” she said, a smile evident in her voice and her embrace. “And we thought all that inter-self writing was weird.”
I nodded, a bit teary-eyed. It was always good seeing her.
Blossomforth came up to the door and stared up at the giant of a woman. Nanashi was tall, well over six feet with long hair the color of fallen snow cut in bangs around her face and piercing blue eyes which were either the shade of the depths of glaciers or clear summer skies, depending on who you asked. She smiled down at Blossomforth and took a knee so I could disengage the hug and do pleasantries.
“Blossomforth,” I said. “May I introduce the person in my head who has known me best and longest, Nanashi Jones.”
“Well, maybe not longest, but definitely best,” Nanashi said, her face breaking into a warm grin. “Hi there.”
“I don’t understand,” Blossomforth said.
“You found the instant camel,” I said. “Which means you can clearly see stuff, but I kind of... Compartmentalize my brain a bit. Maybe that’s why you’re not thinking clearly? Nanashi knows where I keep everything and how to get to it.”
“You would’ve met me sooner if you hadn’t just dashed to this safe place and set up shop,” Nanashi commented.
“I’m trapped in my own body,” Blossomforth deadpanned. “Excuse me for not wanting to wander somepony else’s brain.”
“Polite,” Nanashi commented.
“We’ll teach her better,” I replied.
“Ugh, more Cloud Kickers,” Blossomforth said, rolling her eyes and going back to the machine.
“Cloud Kicker...?” I said.
“Yeah. She’s my best friend. A bit...” She blinked, and I felt a breeze through my brain. “Well, she’s not quite like that, but it’s not far off. She thinks I need to loosen up.”
“Read the Winningverse, did you?”
“You did,” she said. “So I have too now. Ugh. This is so weird.”
“No kidding. But it feels like you’re... Holding back. Like you could move through so much more, but you’re letting me do all the work.” I paused as I realized something. “I shouldn’t have figured out flying that fast.”
“I didn’t want you smashing me up from all of your attempts, so I... Helped. A bit.”
“Thanks,” I said.
“Hey,” she said with a shrug. “What choice do I have?” She trotted back inside and stuck her hoof into the body of the machine.
I glanced at Nanashi and felt briefly light-headed.
“I think you’re headed out, boss,” Nanashi said.
“Okay.” I nodded and trotted over to Blossomforth. “I’m sorry you’re caught up in this, but, for what it’s worth, I want to help.”
She sighed. “Sure.” Looking to me, I saw a small smile. “Not like you had much choice either, huh?”
“Sure I do,” I said. “I get to decide how we go from here, just as much as you do.”
“We’re... Partners now,” Blossomforth said, her tone suggesting something had just come unbidden.
“Works for me,” I said with a nod. “Brain partners.”
I offered my hoof and after a second of consideration, she smiled and bumped it.
“You need anything, you ask Nanashi, y’hear?” I said.
She nodded, smile still in place.
“I’ll try to help too. From in here. However that works out.”
“Awesome. Love it when everypony’s on the same page.”
“Oh, um. I did want to add... Sorry.”
“What for?”
“I just remembered something about these dreams...”
When I my eyes opened a second time I discovered a half-crammed pillow in my mouth. Which tasted vaguely of butt.
Jess’s head poked down. “Sorry, love, you were making noises so I tried to get my seat cushion under your head, but you... Tried to eat it.” She cocked an eyebrow. “Sleep well?”
“Ptah. Well enough,” I said. “Peh. No more butt pillows though? I think this is going to be a pony thing.”
The trip back up 400 North home left me quiet. This didn’t go unnoticed by Jess, who was driving.
“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” she asked.
“Dreams,” I said.
“Oooo, your first pony dream. What was it like?”
“I...” I watched trees sweep by and wondered how to explain it. Well, simplicity works. “I met Blossomforth.”
Jess was quiet for a minute.
“The pony you’ve turned into?”
“Yeah. It... It wasn’t like any dream I’ve had before. It was very... Lucid. Very aware.”
“So what’d she have to say?”
I adjusted myself in my seat, tricky as my wings wanted more space and I was keeping them clamped tight on my sides.
“That she was scared, that she may know more than she can remember, but she can’t right now.”
“Creepy.”
“Yeah. I put Nanashi in charge of showing her around.”
“Then she’s in good company.”
In addition to being my girlfriend, Jess was my most enthusiastic fan, despite my attempts to sweep my writing out of her sight. She kept up with my creative process and requested peeks constantly. She was quite well versed in Nanashi Jones, my long time alter ego and internal sounding board.
I leaned against the window, watching the trees, the cars, the...
“I need some air,” I said in realization, rolling down the window.
“Mm?” Jess asked, her attention rightly on the road.
I unbuckled my belt and levered myself up, feeling the wind in my mane. No wonder Phouka did this, it was fun. Too bad for the dog, I was going one better.
Before Jess could comment or reach over, I leapt and flared my wings. The wind caught me instantaneously and I was flung upward from the hard updraft of vehicles. The ground dropped away in a blink and I soared high above the midday traffic, catching Jess swerving in her lane from the fright I gave her.
Readjusting in the headwind, I dove down and matched speeds, so I was flapping alongside her window. Knocking on it, I gave her a second surprise.
Her face somewhere between intense rage and giddy excitement, she rolled the window down.
“You fucking lunatic!” she yelled. “You gave me a heart attack!”
I grinned, feeling the wind from the other cars whipping through my feathers and mane and fur. “I’ll see you at home, okay?” I said over the roar of wind. “I just need to clear my head.”
“Hang on!”
I smoothly glided closer to her, hiding in the car’s wind cone. Even though the wind beyond that was impressive and brutal, I was a weather pegasus. I flew through storms.
She fumbled at her waist for a bit and handed out her “utility belt,” a convention purchase she’d gotten a year ago at my urging that simplified her life and went with nearly every outfit she wore. It was blue with rivets and five pouches of variant sizes, really durable and could even be adjusted for overall size with extender bits that connected on the back. She’d pulled one half of the belt off and presented it with two pouches.
I’d be able to close it over my small, pony frame with ease.
“My cell phone’s in the first one, cash in the other,” she said over the blast of wind. “Call your number if you need anything.”
I grinned and took the belt, sliding it over my body like a sash.
“Love you!” I said.
“Love you too!” she yelled through the gale. “And I am so jealous!”
She rolled up her windows and gave me a little wave. I waved back, flared my wings again and hurdled up once more into the wild blue yonder.
Flying wasn’t a totally new experience to me. Like most people, I’d taken a commercial plane, but I also had a closer perspective to pegasi than most.
When my dad had a midlife crisis, he bought a lake house and a speedboat, but also an Ultralight, which was like a giant wing on top of a rig, attached to a lawn mower engine with a prop. The pilot sat in a hammock held to the frame by two hard core caribeaners and controlled the handful of flaps above by cables attached to a steering wheel. There was just enough room for a passenger hammock too.
My dad had taken my brother and I up in the possible flying death trap one at a time. We’d been in a field in Middle-of-Nowhere, Georgia and it had been nearing five p.m, and we were young, so we were game. When I told my mom about it, I think she seriously considered calling her lawyer to rewrite the lines regarding visitation rights.
I was pretty chill about the actual experience, to be honest. The height hadn’t bothered me in the slightest, nor was I blown by the “majesty” of the view (we were in Middle-of-Nowhere, Georgia, which was the same from above as from ground level, really). When I got up that high with the roar of the prop just behind me and only forest spreading out below, no window or cockpit to hold me in, I felt... Comfortable. At ease. Maybe that’s why I never thought a lot about pegasi, they were just doing something I thought was as natural as breathing.
High above the highway, with Jess’s utilitarian fashion statement slung across my trunk, I did what I thought came naturally for Blossomforth: I flew.
I fell into a relaxed dive. I saw how fast I could sprint through the air. I rolled over and trailed a hoof through a cloud. I had fun.
Inside, I felt a thrill, like someone was standing up to do the wave, but when I noticed, the pony sat down.
“No need to be shy,” I said aloud. “We’re all friends here.”
The thrill hesitated, but came back fully and I grinned.
I learned Blossomforth wasn’t a serious, athletic flier like Rainbow Dash. She was a recreational one. She liked to buzz around and play in the rain hundreds of feet up. She liked to see if she could hopscotch clouds. She was, basically, a weekend trailblazer who liked to hike at parks. My kind of pony.
After twenty minutes of hard flying, I reached out a hoof and pulled a cloud close to lay on it. Man, what a rush! I hadn’t-
Waitaminute.
I rolled over and looked down at what my hooves were pressing against. Which was a cloud. Which should have been...
I sighed and knocked on my head. I was a pegasus. I did cloud stuff for a living.
Blinking, I realized I did do cloud stuff for a living.
Inspired, I zipped to a better layer and grabbed some more natural fluff. I rarely got to work with raw material. Most of the clouds I worked with were straight in from Cloudsdale though Rainbow liked to hoof us a little Everfree from time to time- keep us on our toes. Cloud Kicker said that the clouds from Everfree were best because they had only just a hoofful of pony magic flowing through them and...
Wait. How did I know all this?
Hooves full of cloud that I was ramming together for a relaxing afternoon cumulus, I realized Blossomforth had surged forward at the presence of so much pegasus activity.
I smiled, glad she’d taken such initiative.
I felt an internal smile in return.
I then realized she’d been worried I’d stay low to the ground. Blossomforth spent enough time there, working on odds and ends- cheaper to live in a ground house rather than put together a house that could support her tools. She lived for tinkering, her cutie mark was a pair of flowered gears after all, but when she wanted to relieve her stress, she took to the air. Where she was free.
“I’d never deprive you of true flying,” I said. “Just ask. I’m pretty easygoing.”
You really are, she thought.
“Hey! There’s the girl!”
A chuckle. Hi.
“Wow. We are making headway here, aren’t we?”
Nanashi helped. So did... The other... people? In here, I mean. You have a lot of spare imagination, you know that?
“Beats sex, drugs and rock and roll,” I replied.
She chuckled again, in earnest this time.
Heh. Yeah. You’re not as much like Cloud Kicker as I thought.
“Oh?”
She always pushed me a bit, but you’re... Very patient. That’s more my speed.
I sighed, memory coming up.
“Almost undid me.”
You mean your girlfriend?
I nodded, falling back into the cloud. “She’s the one who sprung the question about us dating. Given my past of using myself as a party favor, I avoided romantic relationships like the plague.” I sighed again. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to bring down the mood.”
No, no. It’s fine. I mean, Nanashi showed me what you’ve been through and-
“What?” I said, sitting up.
Blossomforth tightened, worry streaking her thoughts. I’m sorry, did I- Nanashi was just...
I sighed. “It’s okay. She was just doing what I asked her to do,” I said.
If a bit thoroughly, I thought privately.
I didn’t mean to look at anything I wasn’t supposed to! I was just-
“Blossom,” I said evenly. “Calm down. It’s okay. I’m not mad. You’re just... Going into areas that only a few people have been. One of whom I have to pay to talk about.”
Yeesh, that was right. I needed to call my therapist. I probably shouldn’t go in when I couldn’t guarantee I was even myself at the time.
Leaning forward, I hugged my hindlegs to my chest, flaring my wings out.
“You know what? Let’s move on,” I said. “I’m kind of hungry.”
Me too.
“We share a stomach,” I said with a chuckle.
Well, yeah, but I don’t have to be hungry like you.
“Point,” I replied.
I looked around. I’d kept the highway as my center point so I wouldn’t get too far from where I knew I lived and after a brief fly over the area, I oriented on the grocery stores and fast food near my apartment complex. Spiraling in a lazy circle down, I waved at a little girl with her hair done in twin afro-puffs. Her face broke into a seriously excited grin and she waved back furiously.
Chuckling, I landed in the Publix parking lot. I wasn’t feeling Wendy’s or any other of my usual quick foods. The smell coming from the next door McDonald’s was also... Off-putting, so I opted for what I figured was pony-friendly fare.
Wandering into the grocery store, I realized I was breaking the rule I’d set for revealing myself in public. Not only did I stick out, but everyone may not be receptive to me. Danger could be around any corner from a request that I leave, since I was a furry critter after all, to possibly one of those PAPA guys getting violent.
My worry infected Blossomforth, who I was relieved to find felt my paranoia was well-founded. Our stomach beat out our mutual fear though with a growl that ran from low to high. Blushing, I rose to person eye-level and flew lazily over to the produce section, intent on acting as casually as I could.
I got a small bag of apples, a small bag of salad mix and an orange smoothie. Very veggie-friendly my tastes all of a sudden. I hated salad mix. At least, I used to.
You put it in bags?! This is amazing! Blossomforth thought, momentarily distracted.
I smiled and floated to the self checkout lanes. The whole time, I’d been vaguely aware of eyes on or noticing me, but I wasn’t feeling anything hateful, just curiosity. In the face of this kind of scrutiny, I opted for the “celebrity” approach: go about your business unless approached.
I idly wished I was wearing my worn, grey driver’s cap or my wrist cuff or even just my necklace: a yin-yang pendant dangling from a cheap chain- I’d had it for years. Maybe it’d make me feel more at ease when out and about.
Fortunately, no one did approach me. I was just a background character at best after all, though I did get a thumbs up from a guy in a Rainbow Dash t-shirt two lines over. I smiled and nodded back at him.
I don’t know how Rainbow does it, Blossomforth commented.
She’s made for fame, I replied.
The self-checkout didn’t like how I handled the apples and summoned the checkout lady who was monitoring the stands. She was pleasant, even if she did stutter at first when she asked what I needed.
“Apparently, I can’t apples,” I said with a grin and self-deprecating laugh.
She responded with a less-nervous smile and after a few taps from her little handheld device, the machine accepted my apples. I stuck the bills in the machine and asked for assistance with getting the coin portion of my change.
As she dropped the coins into Jess’s money pouch, she kept glancing at me. When done, she blurted, “You’re real?”
I laughed, defusing the tension. Again.
“Yup. I wished really hard,” I said with wink.
She laughed and wished me a nice day. I did as well and, heart hammering, flew out with my things.
How were you so calm? I thought I was going to have a heart attack from everyone just... Looking.
Most of them weren’t, I thought at her. The ones that were, were just glancing and anyone who looked longer than a few seconds had more going on with them than with us. If anyone was going to do anything... They’d have stuck out.
Blossom was quiet as I took off from the parking lot.
You’re pretty relaxed about this. She sounded thoughtful.
I’ve been in therapy for two years. Some days I feel more like a bag of walking coping mechanisms than a person. Feel free to go through the memories.
I took an apple from the little bag and ate as I flew and- Wow. Oh wow. Apples never tasted like that before. Holy cow! No wonder Applejack was able to support herself on an orchard. Those Pop-Tarts this morning barely compared. This was like eating four cookie cakes at once! And I love me some cookie cake!
I wolfed down the first and went right on to the second as I winged my way over the treetops to my apartment complex.
Landing in the “nature” area next to our apartment, I swigged from the orange smoothie which was about the same flavor wise, though I didn’t get the same level of tartness as before. Walking over to our apartment door, I was glad we’d gone with terrace level. It gave me a little landing strip followed by a simple right turn to our door rather than needing to navigate stairs.
Testing the handle with a wrapped fetlock, I was delighted to find Jess hadn’t locked up while I was still out. I didn’t want to deal with keys just yet.
Inside, Phouka came running to greet me and I smiled at her, nuzzling along the sides of her face and jumping around a bit to share in her excitement that OTHER MOMMY WAS HOME!! She responded with a few quick yips and made to the bedroom, then a little back to me, then back to the bedroom, her message clear.
Amused at her new activity- she hadn’t done this before- I closed the door with my hind leg. I was getting pretty good at being a pony pegasus, considering I’d only been at this a day.
Phouka made some more noise and I followed her into the master bedroom. From my lowered angle, I could see a lump under the sheets and figured Jess was getting in her critical between show nap.
The puppet center had turned into a boon of steady work, but also yanked my girlfriend out of her near-entire-life routine of sleeping till 2:00 pm before going off to matinee and evening performances. Now, she sometimes contended with morning, afternoon and evening shows, all on the same day. She needed any sleep she could get.
Ensuring I wouldn’t wake her, I flew up to just peek and smile when as I crested the lump in the covers, I nearly dropped from my hover. Course correcting, I merely dipped and flew back up and carefully, quietly pulled back the cover to reveal...
Oh... Boy, Blossomforth thought in a whisper. She’d found my Quantum Leap memories, I guess.
“You said it,” I muttered.
Laying on the bed, her mouth slightly open with Jess’s adorable little sleep smile was none other than the other background pegasus herself, Cloud Kicker.
Jess stirred and rolled over. She blinked amethyst eyes at me, smiling.
I smiled back and before she could speak, I put a hoof to her muzzle.
“You’re a pegasus,” I said simply.
Her brow creased, then relaxed as if I’d made a joke. Before she said anything though, she noticed her hooves. Turning them over, she examined her purple-gray fur and as she rolled to the side, her wings flared open.
She heard that noise and turned to it, seeing them as well as her golden-blond mane and tail.
“I have wings,” she said flatly.
“Yup,” I said.
Jess had turned into Cloud Kicker alright. Blossomforth’s internal, stunned silence confirmed it as the voice locked in what our eyes and nose had already pointed out.
She rolled over, kicking sheets out of the way to see her cutie mark, a cloud with a little sun peeking from behind it. She looked her body over, turning this way and that to better see herself, as if she was trying a dress on at Macy’s.
She looked back to me after she was finished.
“I’m a pony,” she said.
“Eeyup,” I said with a nod.
She stared off into the middle distance, then looked back to me.
“I have a show tonight.”
“I know,” I said.
She glanced at the clock, then looked back to me.
“I have an hour and a half to learn how to walk and use my hooves. You’re helping.”
“Of course, dear.”
When I’d changed, I really only had myself. Blossomforth had been too freaked out to say anything and just retreated to a corner of our mind. So, having somepony around who knows what you’re going through and is willing to assist really helps you cope. It helps a lot. At least, that’s the impression I got from Jess as I guided her through the rhythmic steps of having four legs to coordinate. Like me, she admitted the hard part was shutting up the part of her brain that wanted to stand up on two legs.
“Welcome to my life,” I said with a smile.
“Shush. We’re on a clock.”
Having alerted Other Mommy to Mommy Prime’s condition, Phouka had retreated to her favorite spot on the living room loveseat, to absently watch as Other Mommy guided Mommy Prime around.
“I can... Feel her watching me,” Jess said.
“She always watches us,” I said.
“Yeah, but it feels different now.”
“Ah. I think it’s a pony thing. Animals are more responsive to you now, even if you aren’t an earth pony.”
“Huh?”
“You ever notice how ponies and animals seem to understand one another in the show? I mean, Fluttershy has the special talent for it, but even the Mane 6 can connect with their animal companions better than most casual pet owners.”
Jess nodded. “I just chalked it up to ‘cartoon animals.’” She looked over at Phouka. “Don’t mind Mommy- she’s just learning a new trick.”
Phouka yawned and rolled over so her paws were in the air. She looked positively sublime.
We chuckled.
“Got it?” I asked, having stepped back from Jess as she cantered in a circle more steadily.
“I’m feeling it.”
“Then let’s get to your wings.”
Outside, Jess quickly got the knack of hovering, but flying was as tricky for her as it had been for me.
“The helmet isn’t helping,” she said, her eyes covered by the scooter helmet.
“It’s better than running into the side of the building,” I replied.
Our neighbor walked by on the sidewalk one floor above us. I waved.
“Hello, nice day isn’t it?” I called to her.
She blinked, shook her head and kept walking.
Jess, meanwhile was rising and trying to aim herself.
“C’mooon, c’mon! I! Have! A! Show!”
She wheeled sideways, lost control of her left wing and landed in the bushes.
“Okay,” I said, flapping over to retrieve her. “We have a lot of work to do and not enough time. I’m helping you tonight.”
“You don’t know what needs to be done,” she replied, tersely. Before I could interject, though, she changed tones and kept going, “But if I give you my check sheet and keep practicing while we go...”
“Teamwork!” I proclaimed, pumping my hoof in the air.
First order of business was figuring out what we needed. With both of us ponified, nopony was driving the cars. I considered how if this was permanent we could sell them. When you’re a pegasus, having a car feels redundant.
Jess set about sorting through her work bags and since I had a day’s worth of experience and Blossomforth was helping out with my dexterity, I kitted up a dense cloud to support Jess’s work things and Jess herself.
She’d initially stared at the cloud with a little circumspection, but I assured her that I’d moved a little magic to her laptop and workbag to ensure they wouldn’t fall through. This was apparently a thing pegasi could do short term- it certainly helped when keeping photos up in cloud houses, that was for sure. Jess accepted my workponyship and climbed on, amused that she could just... Sit on a cloud now.
Grinning back at her, I felt a little smug satisfaction from Blossomforth’s side of my mind. Apparently, Cloud Kicker was usually the one to take the lead. I mentally glared at her, noting that if Jess had changed first, she and Cloud Kicker would be leading us. The satisfaction faded.
Mental debates sorted, I hooked into the cloud and started hauling it up to a good cruising altitude and then downtown.
Even with Blossomforth’s body being acclimated to regular weather pegasus duty, she hadn’t hauled like this in a while, so we were both grateful when Jess worked out how to help with her own wings. That lightened my load and got us to the Puppet Center earlier than Jess normally did.
We earned a few stares from actors and technicians out having a smoke/lunch break between other shows.
I recognized one of them from a previous performance I’d attended and waved as I came in for a landing.
“Hey Bill,” I said as Jess hopped from the cloud. I grabbed her laptop and Jess took her backpack, which she’d stripped to just what she needed for show run tonight. I’d told her the cloud could take more weight. Maybe she’d believe me next time.
Once everything was clear, with a quick kick from my hind leg, I evaporated the cloud.
“Uh, hi?” said the rotund technical director for the Center.
“It’s me, Bill. Jess,” Jess said as she walked to the employee entrance. “My girlfriend and I turned into ponies today. She’s gonna help with Poe tonight.”
“Oh. Um. Okay,” Bill said, opening the door for us.
“Thanks!” I offered to his gentlemanliness.
You’re sure sociable, Blossomforth thought at me.
I’m really not. I thought as we walked into the Center. I’m just good at the little pointless conversation bits. Hi, how you doing, how’s the family- Mom thought I should run for office.
You’re definitely better than me. The only reason I have friends in Ponyville is because Cloud Kicker brought me along to a few parties.
You didn’t get a welcome party from Pinkie? I thought.
I did, but it happened too fast and I mostly stayed near the punch. Cloud Kicker talked to me and when I turned her down for something casual, she offered to be my friend instead.
Thought you said she wasn’t like the fic.
She’s loose. She’s just not that loose. She’s- I could so get a better light off that gel with a loose cumulus.
The door was open to the black box theater, and as I’d glanced up to the static light rigs, Blossom’s technical brain had gotten in gear. I flew up and flipped on the switches for the work lights. The eerie setting on stage lit into sharp relief from the fluorescents above.
“Okay,” Jess said, hoofing me her backpack. “You, put those in the booth and open up my laptop. The file you’ll need will be under Work in Documents.”
I nodded.
“Go over it and when I get back, we’ll divvy up the tasks into what you can do and what I can do.”
“Ma’am,” I said with a salute.
Halfway up my flight up the stairs, I paused. “Where are you going?”
“I need my headset.” She turned and my keen ears picked up, “And coffee. A large cup of wretched coffee.”
I shook my head and got set up.
Jess returned in short order, headset around her neck and a large, easily held thermos in hoof. She hovered up to the tall chair while I started in on stage set up and props. She acclimated to using hooves and wings rather than fingers on the sound board.
At one point, Liz showed up. I waved at her and she smiled.
“Hey, January,” she said. “You seen Jessica?”
“Hey Liz,” came Jess’s Cloud Kicker voice over the God Mic. “What’s up?”
Liz blinked up at the booth, seeing a gray-purple furred pegasus with a gold mane looking seriously down at her.
“Uh...”
“Yeah, I woke up as a pony between shows.”
“Gonna be a problem?” Liz asked.
“January’s helping tonight. I’m good.” She waved a hoof. Paused. Looked at that hoof. Looked back to Liz. “Treat that like a thumbs up.”
“Sure... Sure,” Liz said with all the certainty of a politician being asked about her sex life.
“Uh, just wanted to let you know,” she said. “Full house tonight, and this’ll be our last show due to scheduling issues. You have a sixteen and up audience. Go all out on the blood.”
“Last show?” I asked, setting the clock-face mechanism back into place. “Whatever happened to ‘the show must go on?’”
Liz smirked a sad, tired smirk at me. “The original show at least had a calendar to work by. We have to reorganize the rest of the season around a three-hundred day week.”
Looking from Jess to me, Liz added, “Make sure the cast is aware of your, um, help.”
“You got it,” Jess replied.
I put the bag of blood in the cat puppet and it occurred to me that the Poe puppet show was just like Poe: macabre, disturbing, bit of blood, and not really made for young-uns. On its final night, it would have the honor of being run by a pair of adorable, child-friendly ponies.
Maybe Discord really was behind all this. It was certainly funny enough.
I chuckled.
You’re weird, Blossomforth thought with a soft, mental laugh.
Just wait till you get to know me.
Pay No Attention To The Pegasus Behind The Curtain
If anyone tells you that stage managing is an easy job, let me know, so I can give them a piece of my mind. I have enough to go around these days.
As far as the audience below was concerned, the show went without a hitch. Announcements were made beforehand, the actors all appeared to know their lines and have a good time, the special blood rigs all went off in squelching delight- it was a really good show.
Up in the booth, hidden by the fact that the more interesting bits were happening on the stage, Jess and I were doing a Laurel and Hardy show.
Jess was worse off than I was. Her entire muscle memory for the show was shot because she was on hooves rather than hands, so it was like she was back in rehearsals, still working from a script, even if it was in her head. It wasn’t until halfway through that I noticed her wings had gotten in on her work and she was moving at full speed again. That didn’t stop the sweat from dotting her brow.
I tried to help as much as I could, but most of the work came from Jess focusing on the sound board. She gave me the task of running lights and light queues, since it was a lone button to activate the program on the lights’ computer and required little more than prompting. It was also away from the board and would have been an issue for Cloud Kicker to reach.
Jess sat just beyond me, talking softly into her head set.
“Standby lights 37.5... And lights 37.5... Go!”
Blossomforth was quiet, adding her concentration to my own.
It ONLY went as apparently smooth as it did because the actors were good, Jess was great and I paid attention when she showed me around and talked about the show before. Remove any of those factors and you might have seen some rather inadvertent hilarity with the puppets.
I didn’t realize how much work went on backstage, Blossom thought.
It ain’t for the faint of heart, I agreed as I kept half-an-eye on the show. It was going to be the only time I saw it, after all. It was pretty good, even if the audience was giggling randomly. Maybe they were trying to keep from getting too into it?
Especially this one. I- I think I’m fascinated how that cat’s blood bag works. Still grossed out, but... Fascinated.
I laughed to myself. Jess gave me a look without stopping what she was doing and I quieted down.
That’s probably me. I didn’t just numb myself to gross and weird things, I really find the world fascinating. Like when you were a filly and you wondered how trees work and you’d go ewww when someone made sap come out...
And! And! It’d sometimes have a bug in it and you’d wanna know where the bug is!
Now you’re getting it!
Blossom was quiet, but not in her usual spooked way. She seemed to be considering something.
I’m glad I got stuck with you January.
I blushed.
Thanks, I thought. I’m glad I got stuck with you too, Blossomforth. It’s nice sharing with another pony who’s as interested in how things work as I am.
I felt her mental blush.
“Standby for Freaky Odin Cat...” Jess said behind me.
After the show, Jess and I hoofbumped in slumped exhaustion.
“I’m going to sleep for a week,” Jess said.
“Seconded,” I replied.
She smiled at me. “Hey. C’mere.”
I floated over and she grabbed me around my neck and pulled me close to kiss me full on the lips. Blossomforth kind of shut down after that. I wasn’t far behind.
“Thanks for all your help. Flying Cupcake,” Jess whispered.
“Daaaaa,” I said, intelligently.
She laughed quietly. “So, I’m a good pony kisser?”
“Daaaaa,” I replied, wittily.
I shook my head.
“I don’t. Sorry. You- I wasn’t expecting...” I mumbled.
She brought a wing up and gently flicked along my chin with a smirk.
“Well, I have to keep you on your toes somehow, what with you being the better pegasus and all at the moment...” The look she gave me made “smolder” look tepid.
Some distant part of me started wondering what Jess could do with those wings if she put her mind to it and I could hear Blossomforth shriek and wall herself up. I quieted down my imagination to try and have a conversation.
“Now, I- You- Hrm.”
Wit to rival Oscar Wilde.
“C’mon. We have to do strike.”
Strike was how a play ended its run. For the Puppet Center, this meant the actors put away the puppets and props, handed their laundry to Jess for the final time and other little tidying tasks. Some big burly dudes, lead by Bill, the technical director who’d opened the door for us, came in to break down the actual set itself. Jess, did paperwork. Aaaaaaall the paperwork.
You don’t like paperwork? Blossomforth asked as I flew a folder back into place.
I like helping and if somepony else is doing it, no big deal, but me... Ugh. I need a book on tape or I start zoning out.
I find it soothing. Cloud Kicker’s pretty good at it.
You know, you talk about her a lot, I thought off-handedly.
I... Uh. I do?
Yeah. It actually reminds me of when I was just friends with Jess and went to a party while she had work. I was going on about Jess said this and Jess does that and after half an hour of talking I realized I hadn’t talked about anything else.
Blossomforth went still. When a part of your brain goes absolutely still, it’s kind of an odd feeling and one you’re not liable to miss.
Do you- I mean... she thought.
She’s your b.f, that’s for sure, I thought. Sounds like she’s the only pony in your life though. If you want, you can mooch off some of the b.s. social skills I have. I don’t mind introducing you around while I’m using your body either.
Other feeling that sticks out in your brain: another pony blinking in it.
You mean you weren’t...
Weren’t what? If you had affection for Cloud Kicker, I figured I’d know. It’s pretty obvious she’s your bestie, your close pal- That’s important in life, but a group of friends can’t be beat. It gives you more options so you don’t have to hang your life on one pony.
Yeah, Blossomforth thought. My bestie...
I was about to ask her more, when Jess got my attention with a waved wing.
“Mm?” I said.
“You were just... Standing there. Wanted to make sure you were okay.”
I trotted over to the desk Jess had claimed as her own. It was in the corner of a psuedo-office for all the paperwork the Center generated.
“I’m fine. Just chatting with Blossom,” I said.
“Something for me to look forward to?”
I shrugged. “Maybe. They didn’t cover pony-symbiosis in Health class, y’know?”
She chuckled.
“Well, I’m almost done here. Afterwards, the cast is going to Manny’s Tavern. Wanna come?”
Manuel’s Tavern did indeed have salad. As well as numerous fried non-meat things that were heaven. Even though I was doing the eating, Blossomforth was doing a fair bit of pleased moaning in my skull over a plate of mozzarella sticks.
Sipping my cider from a straw, I smiled wickedly.
Enjoying pub food? I thought.
If I ever get home, I’m building a deep frier. This is AMAZING.
I laughed and turned to check on Jess.
We had a corner table to ourselves with the three actors and sound effects guy and they were making various toasts to their hard work and commiserating over the suddenly cut-short run. I was contributing to the conversation, but only peripherally. This was their night and I didn’t want to butt in too much.
I felt a little in the spotlight when Raye started asking about me. Jess had apparently been talking up her girlfriend and this was the second show she’d done with the actress.
“So, what were you before a pony?” she asked, her charm graceful.
“Human,” I said with a smirk and a sip of cider.
“Oookay,” she laughed. “I mean what did you do?”
I gave her the short version: I was hiding out in tech support until I was a decent enough writer.
“Ooo, whatcha write?”
I was quiet for a few moments, thinking about how much to share and how much they’d actually want to listen to me.
“Fantastic realism,” I said. “I like... The fantastic rendered mundane or silly. Zeus having Starbucks with an angel and they bitch about traffic kind of thing.”
“‘Fantastic rendered mundane,’ huh?” Raye said. “This must be a dream come true for you then. You’re a... Pegasus now?”
“Yeah. It’s interesting. Not as interesting as how you guys put up with the- What happened with the bug show again?”
Conversation redirected away from me, I tuned out a little to just enjoy my food and the pub atmosphere. I’d probably not be going to as many of these now. Shame, they were my favorite style of restaurant. All smoky and old and comfortable, like a chair handed down through a family.
“Can I get you anything?” said Kate the friendly waitress with the Pinkie Pie cutie mark hair dec.
“I’m good,” I said with a smile.
“How’s the cider?”
“Applejack’s is better, but you figured that, right?”
Kate shook her head, grinning. “It’s so trippy you can talk about that.”
“It’s been a pretty trippy day,” I admitted.
Kate had practically jumped over the first waiter to serve us, but once she’d gotten her brony babble out, she’d calmed down considerably. She was delighted I had so much access to “background pony” gossip and was willing to share.
“Anything else I can get you?”
I shook my head with a smile. “Guys?”
“I’m good.”
“Same here.”
“Thanks.”
Kate smiled and said she’d be nearby if we needed anything.
“I’ve been doing this for years,” Raye said, shaking her head, amused. “And I can’t believe the most famous person I know right now is a pony.”
“Think of it as me mooching fame. I had a doozy of a one liner in a big movie. Y’all are the real craftspersons here.” I saluted with my bottle.
The cast and sound effects guy saluted back, conversation going now to difficult and interesting performances.
That is twice you’ve done that, Blossomforth thought at me. How did you- Oh. Well, that’s kind of insulting.
Jess put a hoof on my hind leg and smiled a little at me. I returned the grin, sipping my drink.
It’s not insulting, I replied. People, ponies, we like to talk about ourselves.
Yeah, but you’re not even listening.
I don’t have to. The rest of the group is.
I could feel Blossomforth shaking her head within me.
You’re a strange pony, January. You’re so good with everyone and you use it to keep them at a distance.
I’m private, I thought defensively.
Jess caught my expression’s shift and I tapped my head. She nodded.
If you say so.
I grunted and removed the straw from my drink to slug my cider a bit harder.
Blossomforth had gone quiet.
“‘Scuse me. Little mare’s room,” I said, backing away from the table.
After I used the bathroom, I wondered what it was like for other ponies who couldn’t just hover over the toilet. Must have been rough. As I pondered the implications of what my fellow earth ponies and unicorns were coping with in terms of bathrooms, I noticed CNN over the bar.
Pony news was running.
Catching the bartender’s attention I asked if he could turn on Closed Captioning or turn up the sound, please. He hit the CC system and I watched.
Celestia was still missing. Luna was spotted near Tara Strong’s home, but nothing confirmed. Discord rumors swelled. Twilight was in ICU in New York. Elements of Harmony were making themselves known and advertising their progress to the Big Apple via the internet.
New ponies were appearing every day.
“Hey.”
Jess had floated up to me. Somewhere between show and now, she’d gotten a handle on her wings and could fly or hover, whichever she preferred. I was glad. She’d told me how much she liked the idea of flying on her own.
“Hey,” I replied, taking my eyes off the screen, since the stories had changed focus.
“Something wrong? You got really quiet there.”
I sighed, running a hoof through my mane.
“It’s nothing. I think.” I put on a smile for her, meant to be reassuring. Jess saw through me so often, I didn’t doubt she saw I was wearing it for her, but she’d take that I was attempting to be less a problem. “Can we talk about it later?”
She nodded, hugging me. I returned the gesture and we just floated in a pegasi embrace. I was vaguely aware of a few eyes on us.
We were apparently within range of the group because I heard Rudy said, “That is the cutest thing I have ever seen in my life.”
The celebratory dinner lasted another twenty minutes before we all left. Jess and I took a picture with Kate and I gave her my Facebook information so she could tag it and I could confirm she wasn’t making stuff up.
Since she was more confident with her wings, Jess and I both flew home, taking it easy as I was still a little woozy from the cider. It didn’t take long for it to clear though. Flying through a night sky will do that to a pony.
“Is there such a thing as drunk flying?” Jess called across the night sky.
“Yes and I wouldn’t be doing it if I had more than one drink,” I replied, crisply. “I’m supposed to be a role model for children after all.”
“You’re a background character,” Jess replied, circling me lazily.
“Doesn’t matter,” I said. “If I show up on Scandal Report or whatever, I don’t want to be the pixelated pony face telling the cops not to touch my cigarettes.”
Jess laughed. “This. Is. Amazing!” she crowed, dropping into a low dive before coming up beside me.
I smiled at her. “Wanna do something fun?” I asked.
“What?”
“Follow my lead!”
I tucked my wings and dove down. We were nearing Buckhead, using the highways as our ground guidance to get back home. Part of the main drag of 400 went under buildings in the area with a nice little tunnel, perfect for a newly made pegasus to try something crazy.
Blossomforth was laughing giddily as Jess and I leveled off and shot through the tunnel at high speed.
This is nuts! she yelled. I’d never do something like this!
“Live a little!” I sang as I shot out the otherside.
Jess cheered her elation just behind me.
Back at home, we both cantered around the dog, sharing in her excitement at our return. Jess grabbed the leash and I offered to accompany her.
As she hovered behind Phouka, letting her inspect the “wilderness” that wrapped around our side of the complex, she glanced at me.
“So. Care to share what was on your mind back at Manny’s?”
I frowned. Jess was a good stage manager. That meant she could hold random bits of information better than anypony I knew. This included marking when I’d said talking about something later. Truth be told, it was one of the myriad reasons I loved her. She paid attention.
Tonight, though, I wished she’d drank enough to clear that thought.
“I’m thinking about the other ponies. Discord. The whole thing.”
Phouka had wrapped herself around a tree. Jess flew around it to unwind the confused creature.
“And?” she said.
“How I’m worrying that all this going on would be prime time for a quieter villain to set up shop elsewhere. Everypony and person is focusing on New York. We have ponies as far as Israel popping up. And changelings too.” I sat on the fence between complex and trees while Phouka sniffed intently through the fallen leaves. “Which is to say nothing of the random cartoon villains going up left and right. I’m having trouble telling whether I’m checking newsfeeds or reading some massive fanfic gone wild.”
Jess sat next to me, letting the leash play out and roll back on its spring.
“You want to help, don’t you?” she said.
“Well... Yeah,” I said.
Jess nodded once. “Me too.”
I glanced at her.
“I just feel like... I should be doing something,” Jess went on. “Other ponies are hurting. I don’t know what we could do though.”
“Travel,” I said. “Two weeks in the air over the states. I’m on leave, you can probably get time off too. We use my laptop and your iPad to check in with newly changed ponies and make sure they have contact with the Lunar and Solar guard.”
“The what?”
“Thing I found online. They’re fans of the show who’ve offered to protect newly changed ponies.”
Jess nodded, her eyes darting back and forth as she started organizing our trip in her head.
“Okay. Sounds good. Just... Fly around. Make sure ponies are safe?”
“And keep our eyes open. I can’t shake this feeling that something else may be going on.”
“You always think something else may be going on,” Jess chided.
“Something’s always going on!” I yelled with a wide grin.
“Of course, dear,” she said, stroking my face with her hoof.
I smiled at her.
She clicked her tongue and brought Phouka back to us. We started floating back to our door.
“Let’s sleep on it though,” she said. “I have some ideas, but I am very tired.”
“It’s been an impressive day,” I confirmed. “You want me to make some sleepy tea in case you have trouble nodding off?”
She shook her head. “I should be fine.” She yawned as if to underline this point and she drooped a foot from where she hovered.
“Oooookay, let’s get the Jess to bed,” I said, guiding her over.
“I should shower first...” she mumbled.
“Nah. It’s complicated and you need to sleep. Sleep is good.”
“You’re good,” She said, nuzzling my cheek.
I blushed. Blossomforth went stone still again.
Pulling back the comforters and blankets, I got Jess tucked in.
“Joining me?”
“After I lock up,” I replied. I kissed her on her forehead.
“Love you,” she said.
“Love you back,” I replied.
I floated out and turned off lights and made sure the doors were locked. Phouka followed me the whole way.
You were pushing her to sleep, Blossomforth said.
I have a feeling Cloud Kicker will want to talk.
Like we did? Blossom asked.
I nodded, turning off the last light and floating into bed. Scooching over, I laid a hoof across Jess’s shoulder and she murred happily.
Like we may again. Sweet dreams, Blossom.
See you soon, January.
Sleep took me.
If I Wanted To Be Honest I Wouldn't Be Such A Good Liar
I walked up to a pair of tall, impressive doors. Various symbols and scripts were etched in them that I’d known my whole life. In the center of each door was a singular symbol that I’d created when I was about twenty. I used it as a signature.
“Crap,” I muttered.
Pushing the doors open, I found Blossomforth sitting on a cushion in a broad chair at a round table where a few other people I “knew” were relaxing.
To her immediate right was Katara of the Southern Water Tribe. A few chairs over, six to be precise, were Korra of the Southern Water Tribe, Harry Dresden and Nanashi.
Nanashi noticed me and waved casually.
Blossomforth turned and smiled, leaping from her chair to gallop over. I noticed she was wearing a familiar necklace.
“Hey Jane!” Blossomforth said.
“Hey hon. I see you’ve met the inner team,” I said, giving a friendly smile with a wary eye to the gathered fandom celebrities.
“Yeah, they’ve been really nice. Especially Harry. He says he’s actually been to Equestria.”
“That Harry has, yeah,” I said.
All the gathered characters were my perceptions of them. So since I felt the fanfic Dresden Fillies was done so well, it became headcanon and my personal perception of Harry Dresden. Just as Korra and Katara were both my perceptions of them with Korra being into Asami and Katara having elements from the comics, fanfictions and a little hero worship from me.
“That Harry?” she asked.
“Infinite weird stuff,” Harry said from the table, which he had lay his feet atop. “There’s as many me as there are you and January and...” He waved his hand. “Infinite weird.”
“Oh. Got it,” Blossom said. “Oh hey, I do.”
And I could tell she did. We were blending. The necklace with the unadorned, ceramic yin-yang pendant on the end of its chain was definitely a visual metaphor for that.
“Nice necklace,” I said.
“Yeah, it showed up recently. I like it. It kind of looks like the Equestrian flag.”
“How about that?” I said with a smirk. “Would you mind if I borrowed Nanashi for a second? Just need to check with her on a few things.”
Blossomforth’s face clouded and I could see Nanashi glance between us, then the little pegasus brightened and nodded, trotting over to Katara, who looked delighted to talk again.
Nanashi excused herself from the table and we went to just outside the doors, leaving them cracked so I could still see inside.
“Are you kidding me?” I hissed at her.
“What?” she said.
“I said show her around, not take her to... Here!” I whispered hotly.
“Ooooh,” Nanashi said. “I was supposed to give her a surface tour that she would have figured out in a minute because you two are merging after all.”
“What?” I replied.
“Please. You know. I know you know because I know. And on a level, she knows too. You’re both just too... Nervous to say anything about it. Like if you admit it, that’ll speed it up.”
“So?” I said. “Merging’s fine. I’m totally cool with merging.”
She snorted. “Yeah right. That’s why you’re showing her all the aspects and fictional characters you’ve made or use as psychological support, rather than talking with her yourself.”
“By your definition, I am talking with her by myself. I’m just... Delegating.”
“You,” Nanashi shot back, her voice hot. “Are compartmentalizing. And technically fighting with yourself.”
“Whatever,” I said, rolling my eyes.
We were both quiet for a minute, not meeting each other’s gazes.
“You didn’t let the Mane 6 in,” Nanashi said.
“They’d just confuse her,” I replied.
“Especially Pinkie.”
I nodded.
“She’d see that streak that runs through you in Pinkie and then she’d wonder if the same streak goes through her and how much she is herself.”
I nodded again.
“Or you could be completely out of your gourd.”
I turned on Nanashi, who was leaning cooly against the doorframe.
“You’ve had weather conversations and a ‘we’re cool, right?’ conversation,” Nanashi said sharply. “You have no idea who she is.”
“I have her memories-”I started.
“Non-contextual data!” Nanashi fired back.
“What are you talking about?” I retorted.
“I’m talking about what you need to do, what I was built around, what you always manage to avoid even when you champion it like hell with all your friends. I’m telling you January: Use. Your. Words!”
“With who?”
We both turned to see Blossomforth had opened the door. Beyond her, the room was empty save for the table and chairs.
My little fan-appointed, superlative support group was an extension of me- a coping mechanism to make myself feel better in dark times. I knew I needed it because I had trouble trusting people and listening to myself, so if parts of myself were dressed up a bit different, then it sank in better.
I guess.
In all honesty, I’m not really sure. They kind of showed up during a bad time. They kept me above water until Jess got home and talked with me. So if they left, that meant they knew and, by a turn, I knew that this was something I could and should be handling.
Nanashi came to the same conclusions, fading into the background to leave me pretty much alone with Blossomforth.
“Coward,” I muttered.
Turning to Blossomforth, I put on a winning smile. She didn’t appear to buy it, raising an eyebrow at me. Sighing, I let the smile go.
“How much did you hear?” I asked.
“I think I heard all of it,” she said.
I sighed again and turned to start down a dirt path. Blossomforth joined me and we entered a copse of trees, the sun shining overhead.
“We’ve... Been avoiding one another,” I said.
Blossomforth didn’t say anything, walking along beside me, her gaze straight ahead.
“Namely me,” I went on. “Those were all... Constructs? Representatives. Bits of me. I compartmentalize.”
“I figured,” Blossomforth said.
“Huh?”
“They all kind of... Talked the same. They sounded different, sure, but they had really similar words and all. Like when you read a book and even though the characters are different, they all sound similar enough that they fit in the narrative’s world.”
She blinked.
“And I have never made a simile like that.” She blinked again. “Much less properly identified a simile.”
“That... Would be me,” I replied. “I’m kind of a mechanics nut when it comes to language. I like little things.”
“I like little things in nature,” Blossomforth admitted.
“Me too!” I said.
She gave me a look. “You really don’t.”
“Okay, yeah I don’t.”
“You’re generally interested in everything, but I’m specifically interested in these things,” she said gesturing to the dream trees and grass and sky. “It’s why I work on Equestria machines as a side job- it helps me think better on what I can do at my job.”
“You really like what you do, don’t you?”
She nodded. “I’m proud of my place on the weather team. I may not be the best, but I’m glad I can help.”
“I don’t,” I responded.
She looked at me.
“My job is mostly stress management. I moved out of the customer service pool, which calmed me down a bit, but now I’m in our installation team and it’s just so... Sloppy.”
Blossomforth nodded her agreement. “Yeah, sometimes we get some slackers on the team. Especially around Winter Wrap-Up. It’s like- jeez! We’re trying to get a job done here, ponies!”
“Thank you!” I proclaimed.
Blossomforth smiled, then halted. She squinted at me. “Were those there before?”
“Were what?”
“Those... Streaks in your mane.”
I looked into a nearby pond and sure enough, I had streaks of pink in my hair. I was also a bit shorter than I had been last time I’d dreamed. Huh.
Shrugging, I turned back to Blossomforth. “Maybe. It’s been busy since I nodded off.”
As we walked along the path and the trees cleared, I said, “So, Blossomforth. Why don’t you talk about yourself?”
“Only if you listen and talk later,” she said with a smirk.
“Pony scout’s honor,” I said solemnly, raising a hoof.
“You were never in the scouts!” she accused with a wide grin.
“Well, that’s the best you get for now,” I replied haughtily.
We strolled across the meadows. Talking. Learning.
Waking at 6:00 am, I blinked in the darkness of our bedroom. For a brief second, everything was a little off. A little not quite right. Like I’d forgotten to lock the door or pack my toothbrush on a soul-crushing level. Then it all settled out.
“Weird,” I muttered, rubbing at my mane.
Jess/Cloud Kicker dozed beside me. She was splayed in the more comfortable position for any pegasi using a bed not made of clouds, but she still had Jess’s sleepy smile on her face. I moved my pillow over and her forelegs clutched absently.
I smiled. I loved her. I really did.
Floating out, I coaxed Phouka along and shut the door so I could turn on the kitchen and living room lights without disturbing the sleeping pony girlfriend. Which is a sentence that says a lot about my life now.
After I adjusted to the light, I flew over to the calendar Jess drew up and looked at her forseeable schedule. She was off today, so we’d have her call at noon to clear the rest of the time off. That was before her boss’s lunch and guaranteed a contact she could work with.
Next, I powered up my laptop after that and took the plunge on learning how to better use it. We couldn’t both just mooch off Jess’s iPad. It took a little dexterity and I had to resort to a hunt-and-peck method I hadn’t used since I was 12, but eventually I was typing, if at a quarter of my old speed.
First up, map travel. I set up a map that would take us through the Midwest over to California then back across the country toward New York. I was hoping by that time, everything would settle or at least with something more certain than Walnutday or whatever.
Then, I built a Facebook page: Cloud Kicker and Blossomforth - Cross Country Pegasi. I put out that we were willing to work with the Guards and set up an e-mail to handle new pony sightings and support.
I preferred playing Oracle and organizing from afar, but Cloud- I mean, Jess, would want to be hooves on if she could manage it. Wait, no. I wanted hooves on and Jess wanted distance. Wait...
I shook my head. Okay, weird.
Hey, Janu- Er. Blossomforth, you awake? I thought, knocking on my head.
Yeah, yeah. Did we even sleep?
Maybe? I thought. I shook my head. Dreamtalks are weird.
Word.
I quickly activated the group page, then got my wallet and cell phone. Then, I slapped on Jess’s rigged utility belt, preparing to fly to the grocery store. I paused as I finished buckling the belt.
I knew that back in the bedroom my wrist cuff was on the dresser next to my yin-yang pendant necklace. I’d gone au-natural the day before as a way of getting used to being a pony and, okay, if I can avoid having to deal with clothes, it is a good day, but the cuff was as much a part of me as my necklace.
Mind made up, I slipped into the still dark room and slapped the cuff around my right foreleg, then slid the necklace easily around my head. The yin-yang pendant rested just above the curve of my trunk, my thick neck making up for any lack of chest I now possessed. I snatched my driver’s cap off the hat rack, picked up the fabric grocery bags we kept and flew to the grocery.
When I returned with the full bag, I found Jess up and staring at the tea kettle.
“Morning,” I said, cheerfully.
She blinked over at me, smiled slightly.
“Morning, you,” she replied.
She fluttered over and kissed me. Warmly.
I was a little hesitant, but then relented and reciprocated in full. We separated and she smiled coyly to flutter back to the tea.
“How’d you sleep?” I asked, setting out the provisions on our table.
Phouka danced around below me, hoping to con an extra walk out of my return. I gave her a hard look, but she just danced more.
“Uh...” Jess said. “Weird. Definitely weird.”
“Oh?”
She stared quietly at the tea again.
“I met Cloud Kicker...?” she said.
“And?”
She was quiet again, though this time was due to coordinating the pouring of tea without burning herself. Satisfied with her task, she leaned against the counter to look at me, her expression thoughtful.
“I... Can’t really describe it. We’re good. But. Wow.” She shook her head. “I wasn’t expecting it like that.”
“Yeah, the dreamtalks are weird like that.”
“And I woke up with your pillow in my mouth.”
“Also to be expected for the first time,” I replied with a warm smile.
“What did you get?”
“Provisions!” I said with a flourish. “Also started a Facebook page so we could communicate with others and laid in a loose flight path. If nothing else, we can stay out of planes’ ways, but I don’t think we’d classify as anything other than really big birds. I also figured you could talk with your boss around noon while we were flying out.
“As for Phouka, since she can’t come with us, I picked out three likely-”
Jess started waving her forelegs about, attempting to slow me down.
“Sorry. Too early?” I asked.
“Not that. Love, I appreciate the effort, but how did you...” She gestured as if to encompass the room.
I shrugged.
“I dunno. I just... I got up and these seemed like the things to do.” My brow furrowed. “Why?”
Jess shrugged.
“You don’t usually go this all out?”
“I don’t?”
Jess shook her head.
“Huh.”
That may have been me, Blossomforth thought.
We merged more than we thought? I responded.
Seems like.
We’re also getting terse to the point of monosyllabism, I noted.
That’s from you, Blossomforth thought back with a grin.
I like witty dialogue, I defended.
It is fast, Blossomforth admitted.
Funny.
Sorkin style.
Psssh.
“January?” Jess asked.
“Sorry?”
“You had this... Little smile on your face.”
“Sorry. Blossomforth and I were bonding.”
For the briefest instant, Jess’s face clouded, but then it parted and she nodded, amused.
“Well, let me make the dog calls. She’s my responsibility.”
“Yeah, but I help.”
“You certainly do,” she said warmly.
“While you’re doing that, I’ll take her for a quick run.”
Since we’d been skimping on Phouka’s walks for the past few weeks due to the cold snap and our jobs, I walked Phouka up to the dog path, fluttering along just above and behind her. Once she’d done her business, I paused, looking at her wagging her tail. A thought occurred.
“Hey Phouka...” I crooned. “Wanna run?”
She danced a little at that.
Securing the leash on my foreleg, I checked the path ahead to ensure it was clear.
“Okay...” I said, changing to an air start position I learned from Flight Camp. “On three.”
Oddly enough, the dog got ready, her body bent low, her tail wagging as if she were at a starting line.
Ignoring the appropriate reaction, I started the countdown.
“One... Two... THREE!”
And we were off.
Phouka is a really nervous dog. She’s been known to get spooked by her food bowl if she knocks it with her leg. She does have one absolute favorite past time that gets a lot of that nervous energy out though: running.
She was Jessica’s dog before they moved in with me and Jess used to live in the boonies of Middle-of-Nowhere, Georgia, so she used to take Phouka with her on two mile runs. Since moving in with me and my more suburban preferences, Phouka hadn’t gotten that regular exercise in a while. So every now and then, we’d cut her loose to let her get a good run in. Now, though, I could keep up.
Which I did pretty easily.
While running, human me may have struggled for breath (my sport had been swimming and that was a longer time ago than it wasn’t), flying, Blossomforth me was able to keep a pretty good speed next to the pooch all through the dog path. I shouldn’t have been surprised since I’d kept up with a freaking car on the freeway, but I’d never run along next to a car. I had run along next to the dog and nearly given myself a heart attack though. Memories are weird like that I guess.
When Phouka was sufficiently runned out, I trotted along next to her as we returned to the apartment. I smiled and nodded to the joggers on the path. They paid me the same respect.
Never underestimate humanity’s ability to adapt. Sure there was that PAPA group and I was certain I’d run into all manner of pony love and hate on the cross country trip, but the everyday people? The ones who were just going through their lives of wake up, work, maybe eat out once a week, talk with friends, come home, rinse, repeat? They knew their world now included talking ponies and as long as nopony got in their face about it, they’d go about their business and do us the same kindness.
I’d even heard it in the grocery store that morning with my keen pegasus ears.
“Is that one of them pony things I’ve heard about on the news?”
“Yep and she’s here for granola bars. Completely interesting, Kay. Now quit staring, it’s rude.”
I think that’s kind of awesome.
Back at the apartment, Phouka sat obediently, went to drain her water bowl, then passed out on her spot on the loveseat.
“Wow,” Jess said from her iPad. “She looks tuckered out.”
“I ran her,” I replied proudly. “Well, she ran, I flew. More pegasus advantages.”
Jess nodded and returned to her pecking on the iPad. “I joined your group.”
“Thanks!”
“And Dustin said he could take the dog for the next few weeks. He was actually looking forward to it.”
I looked at Phouka and smiled at her. Dustin was a friend from our weekly gaming group. He had more energy than he knew what to do with and had recently been talking about getting a pet as he was feeling kind of lonely. Considering that last year his pet ferret of many years died and his longtime girlfriend had called it quits, I could understand where he was coming from. A little Phouka time would do him good.
“He’s coming here, right?” I asked. “We don’t know any unicorns to cast the cloud-walking spell on Phouka. Yet.”
“Yes, he’s coming here,” Jess confirmed.
“Super. Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m going to shower.”
Going to the porch door, I opened it, flew out and up into the cloudline and started washing up for the day. We had a long trip ahead of us, after all.
Because Friends Talk About It Even When You Haven't
Dustin came over while I was watching Jess beat a cloud into shape.
“Wow,” he said. “I thought you gave me diabetes before.”
I laughed and flapped over to give him a hug. Dustin was one of those guys you only hear about through the convention circuit or local party scene. A former military grunt who used to “monitor the poop truck in Dirtistan,” he returned to the states several years back and earned the nickname “Boozepack” for his camel back filled with liquor. He was average height with tanned skin, a thickening middle and sandy hair that only kept its temper under a fierce and vigilant comb, but I’d never met anyone with a mad grin or a warm heart to match him.
He laughed again in the embrace. “This is the most messedest up thing I ever did do. And it’s a pretty good hug.”
“Well, as a pony, it’s a universal speciality,” I said, moving so Jess could float over to hug him too.
“Hey Dustin,” Jess said.
“Oh man, double rainbow diabetes!” he crowed. “C’mere girl.”
Inside I could hear Phouka losing her mind. Yips, growls and plaintive barks came demanding the new person reveal herself so Phouka could deem them friend or foe.
Dustin glanced at the door and my activities.
“So... How’s...”
I held up a hoof and floated over, opening the door. Phouka was at her panic spot right near the front, her whole back half wagging with her tail, while her hackles, which I’d nicknamed “the hedgehog” were at full attention.
“Easy, spaz, eeeeeasy,” I said.
Phouka’s tail slowed its wag, but the hedgehog remained in place. She made a low growl at Dustin. Who she didn’t remember. Even though he visited about twice a month.
Dustin came down the stairs, appraising Jess. “I’m gonna miss the red head, but hey! Wings! You can totally divebomb things now.”
Jess rolled her eyes, a forehoof going to her triskel pendant necklace. After I showed her to the cloud shower I used, she put it on with a rather somber look. I hadn’t commented. I was in a cap, necklace and hoofband. We held onto ourselves however we could.
“Get in and sit on the couch so she can stop freaking out,” Jess said.
Phouka accented the point with a yip-growl. Yes, that’s what it is. No, it doesn’t make any more sense in real life.
“Yeah, doggy-face. Can’t have you chewin’ off my face if you gonna crash at my man pad.”
Dustin ambled in and Phouka danced out of his way, growling.
Jess looked over at me.
“You want to...”
“Why don’t you let me check over your cloud,” I said. Then quickly added, “Not that I think you’re doing it wrong! I just- Um. Well. Blossom’s curious to see how Cloud Kicker’s special talent translates to wild Earth clouds.”
Jess nodded her understanding and looked at what she’d been working on for the last hour.
“It’s different. Wild clouds are sturdier in some ways, and Earth’s never known a pegasus’s touch, so these are extra resistant. I’m having to go back to basics and rebuild from the water crystal layer up. And on top of that, it’s supposed to be complex and long-lasting. So it’s a real job.”
Jess blinked. “I... Just realized I didn’t know that before. That happen often?”
“I know how to take apart a steam engine now,” I said, flapping over to examine Jess’s hoofwork. Looking back to her, I added with a warm smile, “It’s okay. You get used to it.”
She nodded. “I’ll get Dustin set up then, and we can get on our way.”
I waved my hoof at her and returned to letting Blossom run a practiced eye over the cumulus congestus that would be the sustaining form we needed it to be.
Whether Cloud Kicker had been helping or not, her touch was in the formation, but I could see Jess’s attention to detail that only bolstered Cloud’s natural talent.
They complement each other, Blossom thought. Cloud’s good, but she sometimes misses little things. Jess does a much better job of checking her work. She reached out with my hoof to poke at it.
Okay, weird. We must be merging more than I thought.
She caught my sudden worry. Sorry, she cringed. I was just cloud-checking. I’ve done it before and-
Muscle memory, I thought with a dismissive mental wave. No worries.
Leaning down like I knew what I was looking at in the fluffy layers, I thought, It’s solid work?
Blossom nodded mentally. Yep. It’ll do the job.
Rockin’.
Dustin came out then, loaded with a dog food bin, two dishes and a bone. Phouka danced about him on the edge of her lead. She licked his leg then came to me.
Oh man, that reminds me- our dog licks. Everything. I mentioned the wake-up lick she gave me, but she also licked me while I was making tea in the kitchen. Then there was the idle licking of the loveseat pillow while I was teaching Jess how to walk. And then she would occasionally lick us during the day, just because.
Sorry I left that out. It’s kind of character telling about our dog and- piff, here I am, leaving it out. Just... Insert the line from Kiss Kiss Bang Bang about being a bad narrator.
Anywho, when she came up to me, I moved the cloud up out of her reach and made sure it anchored there. The cloud, which I was going to call, Suzy, was going to be our trunk for the trip, keeping our stuff dry and out of reach of 99% of things out there and we didn’t need the dog breaking it up after all Jess and Cloud’s hard work.
I floated back down and she licked my left foreleg, giving me the Big Eyes. I petted her softly, soothing.
“Now you be good for Dustin,” I said warmly.
She looked at me and whined.
“I know, I know, but Mommies have to take a trip. Look at the bright side- no Marley.”
Marley was Jess’s sister’s boyfriend’s dog. He was a big bully who ate Phouka’s food and whenever we left Phouka with Jess’s sister for the weekend or whatever, she always came back shaky and a bit hungry. I was glad Dustin was looking for company. Phouka would get the calm attention she needed.
Phouka seemed to accept that she wouldn’t have to tolerate the Jerk-man Shephard, but she still whined and licked my face, which I smiled and hugged her over. She may be the worst at being a dog, but she’s the best dog I know.
Walking back to Dustin and Jess, I could hear Jess going over the list she made for Dustin.
“So, no questions or anything?”
“Nah,” Dustin said, pocketing the instructions. “I gots it.”
He looked between us, a curiosity blooming on his face.
“Were your ponies dating before?”
“Celestia, no!” Blossomforth said.
I blinked. That was... Emphatic. And even weirder than the hoof thing. I mean, I know that sometimes I shoot my mouth without thinking, but that was a whole nother level.
Jess looked at me, concern creasing her brow.
“Um,” I said. “That... Was Blossomforth, so I’m going with a no.”
“She and Cloud are close friends, but not lovers,” Jess explained.
I worked my jaw up and down and mentally shot a questioning look at Blossom, who only shrugged.
“And now they got you two in lesbians with each other.” He arched his eyebrow. “Pony lovin’ workin’ out for ya?”
Dustin, in addition to being a geek legend in his own time, is also almost That Guy. He specializes in it. However, he has an instinctive knowledge and practice of habit so he knows exactly where the line is, and how to dance on it. He gives a class at various conventions on how to avoid being That Guy and often points to himself as being a prime example.
“You guys know what I get up to and I am never in trouble with security, the cops or especially who I’m with. Don’t be That Guy!” he’d always say.
And it was true enough now because I didn’t see his inner pervert raising its head- just his child-like curiosity.
So I answered to the base curiosity.
“We haven’t got there,” I said, shrugging, my tone indicating our sex life was not for his perusal, ponies or otherwise.
He glanced between us and shrugged dramatically with a crooked smile.
“Welp! I gots nothin! Wear pony condoms,” he said and we laughed, letting the tension fade.
Bidding him and Phouka a fond farewell, we assured him that he could join our Facebook group even though he wasn’t into “Sugar Rainbow Diabetes Creatures.” We liked allies, after all.
“Gotta keep my eye on you guys,” he said before he rolled up his window and waved goodbye.
As we waved goodbye, Jess said out of the corner of her mouth, “Sometimes, I want to strangle him.”
“It was a regular question for him, dear,” I replied out of the corner of my mouth.
When he was out of sight, we winged it back to our apartment.
“Yes, it was a normal Dustin question, but he didn’t need to ask it like that.” I noted her scowl and the way her feathers were ruffled. Wow, it really does happen.
Shrugging, I floated to the table that had our supplies and finished loading them into the supply bag.
“I’m comfortable with the subject,” I said as neutrally as I could. “Besides, if anybody we knew was going to blind ask about it, I’d figure it was Dustin.”
“Yes,” Jess hissed. “But it’s-”
She paused and her gaze got distant. So that’s what it looked like on the outside. Her expression fell and she put a hoof to her face.
“Cloud... No. Just... No.”
I chuckled.
What? Blossomforth worried. What did Cloud say?
I think that’s between Cloud and Jess, I replied.
I zipped up the supplies bag with my teeth.
Jess floated closer to me and chucked my chin up so I was looking at her.
“Hey. I love you, you know that?”
I nodded, blushing.
“And I really care about you. So I want to make you comfortable. Both of you.”
Blossomforth added to my own blush and I bashfully looked down.
“I know you always have my back,” I said and leaned in to hug her.
We held one another. Then I felt Jess’s hoof drift down.
“Cloud,” I said flatly. “Stop it.”
The hoof jerked right back up. When we parted, Jess was blushing, embarrassed.
“I’m sorry, I-”
“Have a very loose pony in your head. I’d recommend a boundaries discussion.” I tapped my hoof to my chin. “Let’s play it like the first few months.”
Jess nodded. “That makes sense.”
Sex was... Is complicated for me. So, as a way to make sure I was always comfortable when we were first getting used to each other, Jess made it clear that she’d always be affectionate, but anything more serious I had to start so she’d know it was okay. It wasn’t a perfect system by any means, but it gave me enough room to ease into her (no pun intended) and let me be honest.
Jess’s expression shifted into one of genuine apology and in a not-very-Jess tone said, “Sorry. That was out of line... I’ll watch it in the future.”
Her face resettled and Jess had what I imagined was the same bemused expression I possessed after Blossomforth grabbed the mic from my hands. So to speak.
“Thanks, Cloud,” I said, smiling.
“That was so weird,” Jess replied. And her hoof drifted to her triskel absentmindedly.
Cell Phone Reception Is Surprisingly Good Up In The Clouds
Being a pony was all about education. Learning how to use your hooves, when to use your teeth, how to walk, how to canter, all kinds of experience. Adding on being a pegasus and wings and you have a whole other course load to take on.
Case in point, how long can you fly?
Maybe the fact that Blossomforth’s name is, well, Blossomforth should have clued me in that the distances we were going to be covering were outside her comfort zone. Maybe the fact that she thought of herself as a weekend flier should have also occurred to me.
Either way, after an hour of steady flying, I was laying on Suzy, feeling embarrassed as I caught my breath.
“How you doing?” Jess called back to me.
She was hitched to Suzy by a cirrus stream and hauling our luggage and me without sweating too hard.
“Finding new levels of embarrassment,” I sighed. “Even as a pony, I’m out of shape.”
“You’re not out of shape,” Jess called back. “You flew too hard in the beginning. What did I say back when we started hiking?”
“‘Measure effort, not distance,’” I quoted.
“Bingo.”
Sorry, Blossomforth said. I thought I could handle the distances you laid out.
I mentally waved my hoof in dismissal.
Not your fault. I didn’t stick to your pace and winded myself. Once I get our breath back- gonna be... Gonna be a thing.
That tired, huh?
I’m beset on all sides, I grumbled.
Don’t feel too bad, Cloud’s a bit of a fitness nut. Not as intense as Rainbow Dash, but she works out more than most of us in Ponyville.
Intrigued at the information, I rolled sideways on Suzy to look at Jess/Cloud from behind with an eye to more pegasus details than general pony-ness. The beat of her wings, the muscle beneath her haunches and flank- yep, she was definitely in hardier shape than Blossom. No wonder Jess was getting a handle on the physical aspects quicker than I was. Now, Cloud couldn’t take apart a steam engine and had to ring my doorbell over any of the littlest mechanical thing, so I didn’t feel too bad. Though, if she had Jess, who I knew was mechanically inclined... No. Cloud doesn’t just like me for my mechanical prowess. I’m her friend.
“Lookin’ good, Jess. Lookin’ real good,” I called.
“Cloud Kicker works out, that’s for sure,” Jess replied.
“Just adds to her Amazonian appeal,” I said.
“Eh?”
“You’re bigger than me now, love,” I said.
That stopped her. Suzy’s steady pace slowed as Jess looped over me to stand on the cloud.
I rose to the question in her face and as we came eye to eye, she saw it. She had a good inch or so over me.
“I didn’t even...”
“We float most of the time, and it’s slight. You’re the Amazon now love.”
Jess smirked, then turned primly to trot off the cloud as if she were a lipizzaner horse, then resumed flying.
“How’s it feel being tall?” I asked.
“Pretty frickin’ great,” she replied with a haughty laugh.
Isn’t she technically shorter? Blossom asked.
Shh, I thought. This is her moment.
Another hour and a half later, we checked Jess’s phone to confirm our location.
“I love that you have that,” I said.
“It is useful,” she affirmed, flicking her hoof against the screen. Frowning she did the same motion again. “Not very pony friendly though.”
“Hence why I’ve given up texting,” I said.
My phone was not smart or i-Whatever. Just an old slider that had buttons that I could actually push. Unfortunately, they were small buttons that had been tricky enough with my own fingers. They were a lost cause for my hooves, so the phone was being a regular old cell phone for the time being.
I wasn’t totally defeated though. I was making headway with my wings as spare fingers. I’d managed to hit one key. It was a very big moment for me.
“We’re nearby,” Jess confirmed.
“I’ll put in the call then,” I said, my mouth a tight line.
Picking up my just-a-phone, I hooved through the contact list and hit call.
“Cuz?” came a familiar faint Southern drawl.
“Hi Michelle,” I said, politely chipper.
She squealed.
“Wow, is that you? Your voice is so...”
I smiled stiffly. Jess placed a comforting hoof on my shoulder.
“Cute,” Michelle said.
“I’m going through some changes, yeah.”
She snorted. “I bet. So where are ya?”
“Couple hundred feet in the air over the Kroger next to the Dunkin Donuts,” I replied.
She went quiet.
“Michelle?” I asked. Cell phone reception was good at the height I was at, but I didn’t doubt I was giving my carrier one hell of a satellite image and might get cut off for new random reasons.
“Dang. Okay. Sure. This is a bit to take in. You still up for it?”
“You asked me. Here I am.”
“Alright!” she said, pleased as punch. “How do you want to do this?”
“Let’s go somewhere public. Do you have a favorite park?”
“Bet I do. Hang on...” I heard some paper ruffle then there was tapping. “Okay, ready?”
She rattled off an address that I parroted to Jess, who tapped it out on her iPad.
“Alright. Meet you there in...” I looked over at my navigator. Jess finished telling her smartphone where she was going and reported back. “Twenty minutes.”
“Okay. Looking forward to it! Oh and Jane?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks. This means a lot.”
“No problem.”
I hung up and slumped into the cloud.
“You sure about this, love?” Jess asked, rubbing a hoof along my back where my wing muscles bunched in tension.
“Yes. No. Blossom wants to meet my extended family. I’m being a polite host.”
“Doesn’t she know how you feel?”
“Yes.”
“And...?”
“I said yes.” I rubbed my face tiredly, already expecting stress and my brain wanting to jump off a cliff. “I’m sticking by this. Besides, it’s just her and her daughter. How many kids will get to say they met an official pony, right?”
Jess cocked her head, her blond mane drifting into the high breeze.
“Okay. But only as long as you’re okay.”
I nodded. Stars above and below, did I not do family.
The last time I’d seen any of my extended family, it had been at my grandfather’s funeral. It was before Jess and I started dating, but she wanted to be there for me. I didn’t question it since it meant I had company on the trip up and we were pretty close at that point.
Michelle had been the cousin who commented that Jess was clearly more than a friend. I was out to most of my family, but the cousins in my peer group were the only ones who approached the subject with any clarity.
That clarity would fall by the wayside when they’d snipe over how foolish their parents were. Or in the one particular cousin’s case, get loaded up on expensive liquor and call everyone in the family out on a litany of charges, my life “choices” being among the offenses.
After the funeral, Michelle had offered to stay in touch and I thought it might work. That, or I had finally caved to the guilt of them asking about me since I didn’t come to family anythings if I could avoid it. Either way, I shot a general life update e-mail and as I read her response, I realized I wanted nothing to do with these people. Any of them. I pretty much went radio quiet and only surfaced if my presence was requested directly.
Till she noticed my Facebook group and called in a favor.
Her daughter was a big fan of the show. Blossomforth, an orphan who grew up in the pegasus official care system, had perked up at the notion that, in a way, she now had an extended family.
The feeling had been fleeting, and brief, and Blossom had asserted that she was more intrigued at the idea than the reality. Yet, as I read Michelle’s request to have Jess and I detour up to Tennessee, I caught the longing that came off her. I knew that longing feeling. I wasn’t about to stand in the way of this opportunity of Blossom’s just because I didn’t like these people.
I took a deep breath, spread my wings and re-hitched to Suzy. Once Jess was by my side, we winged to the nearby park where I’d meet up with my cousin and her daughter so the pony whose body I used could get a taste of family.
Ah. Good life choices.
Being Good With Kids Is All About Perspective. And Being A Pony Helps Too
Once we parked the cloud and I got a good look at the park below us, my face twisted.
“What?” Jess said. “What is it?”
“I hate her. I hate her a lot.”
“What? Why? Love, what’s-”
“It’s the park Grandma took us to when we were kids. And it was my favorite, okay? It’s- Ugh. Let’s just get this over with,” I ground out.
Before Jess could say any more, I dove off the cloud, spiraling down. As I got close to the Murfreesboro park, which was only partially occupied by two women and their three young charges, I quickly became the focus of a bit of scrutiny. I wiped the scowl from my expression before anyone could make it out.
What are you-
Trust me, I cut in.
The kids approached. From up top, I’d seen they were probably if not in my demographic then close enough to know about it.
Two girls and a boy approached and I smiled, genuinely. I liked kids. They didn’t do bullshit. Or if they did, they were more fun about it.
Just behind them, I could see one of the women moving to catch up while the other took her time.
Once the kids were close, they stared at me.
“Hi,” I said in a friendly tone.
“Oh wow, they’re real,” the boy said.
Then, the fast-moving woman, who I could only assume was his mother, came and grabbed his arm. Not too hard, but I could see the reassuring-I’ve-got-you-Mom-grip on him. She placed her other hand on the girl’s chest and moved them all back a few steps. I noticed the boy and girl looked similar- siblings maybe?
“Stay back Ethan,” her voice a hard Tennessee drawl. “I heard ‘bout these things and they’re no good.”
“Sorry you feel that way ma’am,” I said with a nod and started walking away to a bench.
“You stay away from my children!” the woman shot sternly.
“She’s doing that,” Jess said, flying down.
“Oh wow! Two of them!” the other girl said. Her caretaker was coming up, but still at that leisurely stroll.
With Evan, his mom and sister keeping a wary distance, the other girl was left alone to boldly approach Jess and I as we settled onto a nearby bench. It was warm from the sun and I rested against it, smiling at the girl. She looked about ten, maybe eleven with olive skin and silky black hair and big green eyes.
“Hi, my name’s Shannon,” she said.
“Hi Shannon, I’m Blossomforth,” I said with a smile. I crooked my mental finger at Blossom.
“Cloud Kicker,” Jess said with a nod.
“This is so cool,” she whispered, awed.
“Hey, Shannon, making friends?” the woman said and, yep, she was her mother. Though her skin and hair had come from dad, the nose, eyes and ears clearly came from the woman who stood behind her, smiling easily. Her voice was just as richly Tennessee without any of the previous mother’s harsh tones.
“Yeah Mom, it’s Blossomforth and Cloud Kicker,” she said. “Are you from the show?”
“We are,” I said.
“Do you... Do you know Twilight?”
“I’ve seen her around,” Blossomforth said with my mouth. “But Cloud Kicker actually knows her.”
My head turned and Jess’s mannerisms were just... Gone as I found Cloud chuckling.
“We know each other in passing,” Cloud said.
Shannon glanced between us, her grin going wilder. “This is so cool. Can I get a picture?”
“Sure!” I chirped before Blossom could freeze at the prospect.
Shannon turned up to her mom. “Mom, can you...?” Her hands clasped in beseechment, but her mom was one step ahead, already getting out an iPhone. Shannon grinned wide and her mom motioned for her get closer.
“Hop on up,” Cloud said, patting a space on the bench between us.
Shannon did so and we leaned in, smiling brightly.
“Say ponies!” Shannon’s mom said.
“Pooonies,” we all answered.
Shannon made a few more effusive and appreciative noises and we let her touch our wings. I gave her one of my primaries that was about to shed and she clutched it like a precious gift.
“You didn’t have to,” Shannon’s mom said.
“You’re clearly raising a good daughter,” I said, pointedly not looking at the mom who had moved to the other side of the park and chastising her kids for getting so close. “A feather on her bed stand can be a good reminder of that.”
Shannon looked like I’d just pinned a medal to her chest.
“Well,” Shannon’s mom said. “That’s kind of you. What brought you to Murfreesboro?”
“We’re meeting up with family.”
As Shannon’s Mom made an understanding noise followed by a nod, Shannon got more excited.
“More pegasus?” she asked.
I smiled apologetically. “Sorry, no. They’re family we have here in Tennessee.”
Shannon’s face clouded in brief consternation then she grasped what I meant, smiling and nodding.
“Well, we’ll leave you to your business then. Come on Shannon.”
“Bye Blossomforth, bye Cloud Kicker,” Shannon said with a youthful wave.
I responded with a waved hoof, Jess waved a wing.
“Show off,” I muttered.
“Can’t hear you, too tall,” she muttered back.
Once they’d crossed the park to where the large slide was, I watched as the other two kids went to Shannon and she showed off the feather she’d got from the pegasus pony. My keen ears picked up the jealous exclamations of the kids, as well as the talking moms.
“Kelly, how could you do that? Don’t you know those things are-” the other mom started before Kelly cut her off.
“Thank you, Peggy,” Kelly said. “I’ve heard it all and I’m making up my own mind.”
Peggy shot us an impressively vile look and humphed to focus on making sure her kids didn’t get tainted by us.
“She seemed nice,” I said looking to Jess. I was glad to see Cloud Kicker had faded from her features once Shannon had left.
“You really like kids,” she said, her voice carefully neutral.
I shrugged. “I really like kids who are old or mature enough to hold a conversation.” I nuzzled against her. “No worries love, I have no designs for sperm donors in our future.”
Jess didn’t want to get pregnant. Ever.
Though I liked kids, I didn’t like babies. Or the idea of being pregnant. Or the money involved. Or the fact that my early to mid-twenties had been one long list of reasons why I should never ever have progeny.
Jess and I had talked about kids when our relationship started getting more serious, and, given the option, I definitely preferred the company of other people’s kids. You could give those back when you’re done.
Jess settled after I nuzzled her further and sighed.
“Sorry. The way you pepped up over the kids after being so upset over the park, I thought...”
“Nope,” I said. “I just like talking to smart kids. Shannon was clearly smart.”
“Yeah, you weren’t molting that feather, were you?”
“No commentary if I start flying lopsided,” I said archly.
Jess chuckled, but after a breath she leaned in. “You’re not okay are you?”
“No,” I said, my neck stiff. “But... I can stomach Michelle better than most of my family. She at least never had a drug habit.”
Jess cocked her head in a silent question.
I flapped a dismissive wing.
“You talk to your family, I judge mine,” I said flatly.
“Jane! Is that you girl?”
Turning, I saw Michelle, looking like a healthy, happy mom as she let her daughter out of a slate blue minivan. A daughter who looked to be about Shannon’s age.
“And if you thought my acting during Christmas shopping was something,” I said quietly. “Wait till you see this.
Floating up from the bench, I smiled.
“Michelle! Hey. How ya been?”
Who Knew There Was Such A Thing As A Backseat Personality?
I had thought that Shannon’s and the other kids’ eyes had been wide. This was nothing compared to my second cousin’s awestruck impression as she climbed out of the minivan and raced over to meet me and Jess.
She was about Shannon’s age, in that she was nine, but unlike Shannon, who appeared to be a casual demographic fan of the show, my little cousin was a HUGE Friendship is Magic fan. Huge. She knew who Jess and I were before we introduced ourselves.
Apparently, she liked Cloud Kicker more, for whatever reason, so I could tell that Jess stepped back to let the child and original pony chat. I stepped back in a less mental sense with Michelle to speak with her and catch up.
“She’s... Scary smart,” I said watching as my distant relative spoke animatedly with Cloud.
“Oh yeah. Me and John are really proud.” She basked in her kid for a moment before turning to me, her expression concerned, but more quizzical. “How’re you doing?”
I glanced up, smirking. “Okay. Got this wicked craving for apples and alfalfa.”
She snorted.
“Yeah, don’t call Kathy. She’d ask you to walk some of her trails.”
My Aunt Kathy was Michelle’s stepmom. She had a thing for horses and her husband’s occupation afforded her the luxury of indulging in that interest for as long as I remember her. Michelle had actually taken proper riding lessons at one point.
“Jeez, you’re right! I didn’t even think about that,” I said with a laugh.
Michelle laughed with me. After a few moments of watching her daughter get more excited, she said, “Think about any of the family?”
I sighed, my expression settling into neutrality.
“Hey, babe, do you mind watching the kid for five?” I asked.
Cloud’s expression changed and Jess replied, “Yeah. Catch up with your cousin.”
“Cloooud...” the little girl said, a bit petulantly.
“No ma’am,” Michelle replied, putting her hands on her hips. “Watch your tone. They’re family and you be polite.”
My second cousin swallowed whatever lump she’d made and recomposed herself. We walked away from her and Jess/Cloud with Michelle at my right. One quick wing flap brought me up to human eye-level so we could talk easier..
That earned an impressed nod.
“Wow. That’s gotta be amazing,” Michelle said.
“I’m not tired of it.”
We strolled around the edge of the park. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw as Cloud was lead to the slide by the little girl. She looked more like her dad with her soft face and round nose, though I had no idea where the blond hair came from. Michelle and John were both brunettes, so all I could figure is something snuck down or she was going to be like me and just shed the blond as she got older.
“That Jess?” Michelle said interrupting my quiet analysis of her family’s phenotype.
Following her gaze, I confirmed she was looking at Cloud Kicker. “Yeah,” I responded, evenly.
“Are you two...”
“Yup. You called it.”
She barked a laugh of triumph. “I knew it. I knew she wasn’t just a good friend.”
“She was at the time,” I replied.
“Oh. Who-”
“Her,” I said.
She nodded.
We were quiet for a few more steps and wingflaps more.
“So,” Michelle drawled. “Cuz. Why’re you acting all snippy?”
My gaze straight ahead, I realized I wasn’t doing a good job of calmly and casually redirecting the conversation. Stars, I was practically terse. Why wasn’t I on my game? It should have been automatic. What had... Wait.
Blossom...
Wasn’t me. Swear.
Pony scout’s honor?
Have you ever heard innocent whistling in your head? I have. At the rate I was going I was going to need a list of “weird things my body and brain do now.”
As I grasped that I was now getting my filters tweaked by a morally-motivated pony, I decided blunt was good. It had chased people away in the past. Maybe it’d work on family now.
“Because I don’t want to be here,” I said.
“Why didn’t you just say so?” Michelle asked, eyebrow up.
“The pony in my head... Blossomforth. She’s an orphan. Grew up in the system without even a foster family to call her own. So when you messaged, she got this... Twinge and I knew that twinge and I figured I could just be cordial while she got a second-hand family buzz.”
Blossomforth knew how I felt, but apparently having it said out loud was something else. A wounded, crouched feeling started leaking through me as Michelle’s lips pursed and her brow knit in worry.
I looked away. From both of them.
“Well... Thanks for being honest, Jane. Didn’t realize we were an inconvenience,” Michelle said with well-earned scorn.
“Well, you are,” I said hotly. “I’m not... I don’t do family stuff, Michelle.”
Her eyes narrowed, her mouth set to one side and she nodded.
“I know,” she replied. “You told me back at the funeral, but you also said to try e-mailing and you never responded.”
“Your grammar was bad,” I grumbled, feeling heat on my cheeks. “You shared, like, a third of what I shared with you, and your life was...” I stopped, shaking my head, and floated over to a bench by the jungle gym that still let me see the whole park.
Michelle sat down next to me, hands in her lap. She watched over as Cloud flew her child down the slide, both laughing.
“Your life isn’t something I can join in on,” I ground out.
Michelle looked over at me. It was almost the look we had shared as kids on our younger siblings when they were being especially “younger.” We had both been the eldest of our groups and our siblings and cousins had called us bossy. We’d taken solace in registering a mutual maturity if not any mutual interests.
Michelle had grown up to wield that humbling look as a mom and housewife, I had gone on to use it on co-workers who didn’t do their paperwork. I didn’t see the point in us talking. Ever.
“Well, that’s dumb as hell,” Michelle said.
I looked up at her, the question clear on my little pony face.
Michelle snorted and scratched her cheek. After taking a moment to organize her thoughts, she said, “Look, I don’t know about you, but I’m the only democrat in my family. Dad calls me all manner of names just for that and Mom...” She sighed, blowing a lock of rich brown hair out of the way. “And you’ve seen my sisters. I figured with you, I could talk to someone. You didn’t seem to mind me being a house mom-”
“I don’t,” I said quickly. “But... What can I say to that? I’ve a partner in my life, but I’m a geek, Michelle. I still watch cartoons. I’m pretty sure I’m like this because of that, though don’t hold me to that theory. What do I say to you?”
She shrugged. “You don’t have to say anything. You’re my family. I’m not gonna get loud like Ash did. I wish my daughters would know their cousin more than just a pony and I wish you’d stay in touch.” She rested her hands on the bench, watching her kid. “That’s all.”
I followed her gaze, watching Cloud give Michelle’s daughter a pony-back ride around the nearby grass field. She sagely stayed on the ground, winking back at the kid.
“I don’t like calling people,” I said as Cloud bumped my cousin in the air just a little. “I feel like I’m barging into their lives.”
“Or any visits. These wings may be temporary for all I know and gas is expensive.”
“It certainly is.”
We sat, quietly. Observing dear ones in our lives.
“I’m going to marry her,” I said. “I don’t care if it isn’t legal, she’s the best thing in my life.”
Michelle smiled and dropped her hand to rub at my withers.
“You know, you may act all alone, but you sound like you’re family to me,” she said.
Cloud bounced over with the kid on her back, grinning.
“Mom! Mom! Didja know Cloud Kicker was gonna be in the pony military?”
“No! Really?” Michelle turned an appreciative eye on Cloud. “That true Miss Kicker?”
“Yep. Didn’t work out though. I am an arteest, yanno.” Cloud winked at Michelle, earning a chuckle.
“Can you two come over for dinner?” the little girl asked.
Before Michelle could lend weight, I held up a hoof, floating off the bench to look her in the eye.
“Sorry, hon. Me and Cloud have to get going soon. Other ponies to see and all. But if we come back through here, we’ll be sure to drop in, okay?”
“Yes!”
I’ve been glomped before. I’ve also experienced pick-me-up bear hugs, kind embraces and the daily affirmative hold that Jess and I did. None of them really prepared me for getting tackle-hugged by an over-eager nine year old. Maybe ponies are just universally good at receiving and giving hugs. I wrapped my forelegs around her and Blossom and I both thrilled at the contact to family.
“So you’ll be in touch?” Michelle asked from the driver’s seat once she’d gotten her daughter in the back of the car. Her daughter, who had one of Cloud’s primary feathers now. We were going to look like plucked pegasi if we weren’t careful.
“As in touch as I get,” I replied. “Only a bit better.”
“All I can ask,” Michelle smirked.
I floated toward her and wrapped her in a hug. Michelle smiled broader and returned the gesture.
After they drove away, I noticed the whole park was empty save for Cloud Kicker on the swing.
I flew over to join her and Jess blinked back into place.
“Aw, Cloud doesn’t want to talk?” I said playfully.
“Cloud knows who you’re in love with,” Jess said. “How’d the talk go with your cousin?”
“Well enough. I had a little mental interference...” I knocked a hoof on my head. “But it was for the better. I’m going to try and stay and touch and not be an isolated bitch.”
Jess smiled and leaned over in her swing, kissing me.
“I’m proud of you. I know how family isn’t your thing.”
“Yeah,” I said, pumping the swing harder.
“So where to next?” Jess asked.
I grinned over at her and at the apex of my swing lifted off from the seat, shooting for Suzy.
I wondered if anyone noticed the mildly out of place, low-flying cloud with two winged ponies having lunch on it? I mean, I could see a skyscraper nearby, but the reflected glass meant I couldn’t see if we were disrupting somebody’s work day.
“So does this make you a salad convert?” Jess asked, teasingly.
I munched on the large salad we’d gotten at Wendy’s and swallowed.
“Considering how nauseous the smell of cooked beef made me? Yeah, I think I’m full on for salads now.” I popped a cherry tomato into my mouth using my wing.
“Beshides,” I said around the morsel. “Veggies never tasted like this before.”
“Yeah...” Jess noted, her gaze unfocusing as she looked at the bowl before her.
I didn’t say anything. The expression was becoming common for her. Little quiet moments when I couldn’t tell if she couldn’t tell I was watching her, or she was that absorbed in her thoughts. I knew Jess prefered contact when she was unnerved, but sitting next to her on our travel cloud, Suzy, I couldn’t think how to get any closer.
This was one of the gulfs we worked on in our relationship: Jess felt better when someone was there for her. Hugging her, holding her, listening to her. She could box up stress and do her job, but after work, she needed someone right there. I was the other way. When I was stressed, I’d box up and put on a mask, putting distance between my thinking and my emotions, period. This meant I didn’t touch people as much and came off as cold until I sorted out my feelings.
Before we dated, it hadn’t been much of an issue. Every friend, even very close ones, copes with stress differently and a certain amount of privacy is respected.
Now that we were together, my aloofness under emotional pressure came off as uncaring or outright ignoring her. We’d had a few impressive fights once the honeymoon aura waned. The issue of my emotional availability still flared from time to time, but we knew we loved each other and that held us up during the worst of it. And we had survived the worst. At least, the worst we’d known.
What was helping these days was how I once shared that I’d get these instinctual urges when Jess was upset and ignore them because they didn’t seem to be part of my usual, detached, rational process. After the third time describing what my instincts advised of me, Jess said, “Trust those. They know what they’re doing.”
As we munched on our food, I looked inward to my instincts and got “put a wing around her.”
So I did.
She leaned against me and sighed.
“I was fine at work. I was fine for the flight. I was fine in the park. I just... I think this is catching up to me,” she said in a quiet voice.
I nodded.
She rubbed at her face, looked at her hoof, sighed.
Again calling on the instincts to guide my feelings, my words, I offered in a hopeful tone, “You can fly.”
Jess snorted a small laugh and a smile came to her. She nodded.
“Yeah. Yes, I can. And that... Is pretty cool.”
Since I’m still learning about them, my instincts strike me as a mystical force in my head: knowing in unknown, wisdom in naivete, understanding in ignorance. At the very least, they’re clearly smarter than I am when it comes to things like this.
The instincts aren’t separate from you, Blossom said. I don’t feel like I’m hearing a different voice in your head when you listen to them.
Really? I asked, a bit incredulous.
Again with the internal nodding. It feels like you’re just doing what I do when I’m thinking something through.
Huh. Thanks Blossom. It’s really helpful having you in my head.
Yet another sentence that said a lot about my life at the time.
Don’t mention it.
I picked up the iPad and connected to the nearby Wendy’s wifi. Tapping my left hind hoof on the cloud, I waited through the login prompts and pulled up the Cloud and Blossom Travel Page. I marked our location; not much change from our last marked spot at the playground, really, but it was progress. As I smiled at the supportive comments, I noticed a message for the admin, i.e. me.
“Hey hey,” I said.
“Mmm?” Jess asked from her relaxed nuzzle against me.
“Looks like there’s a Nashville meetup. We’re invited.”
“Meetup?” Jess asked opening her eyes slightly. “Of what?”
I tapped through the invite in the message and read through.
“Local ponies and a group of the Day Guard with a Night Guard rep to answer questions.” I turned to Jess, who was passively looking over the information. “Wanna go?” I asked.
Her brow furrowed and she sighed. Her gaze went to the middle distance and I realized that was forever going to be her “Cloud is saying or sharing something” face. I made a mental note of it.
Do you think we look like that? Blossom asked.
I’ll try to stand near a mirror soon.
Jess nodded.
“Yeah, okay.”
“Is that at me or...?” I asked.
“Cloud made a good point. Maybe I could meet some ponies who’re like me.”
Her eyes widened and I realized that this may have been the first time in our relationship Jess ever said anything that could be construed as a slight against me. I wasn’t taken aback, but I was stunned.
“Is there something about-” I started.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Jess said quickly. “Those were Cloud’s words and I... Rrrrgh!”
She slumped and I reapplied my wing to her back. She shook slightly, whether from anger or some other emotion, I couldn’t tell.
“Why is this so hard?” she asked quietly.
“Shh, shh. It’s okay,” I murmured, holding her close and wrapping a foreleg to add to my already draping wing.
“How are you doing this?”
I took a moment. Because my instincts weren’t talking. They were just reinforcing the “be with her” notion. The instincts were good, but they weren’t terribly wordy most of the time. When I had to talk and use them, it involved focusing on a slippery, elusive feeling I didn’t fully understand.
“I treat Blossom like a character,” I said, slowly. “Like... A character in my head. She interacts with the others and responds and knows what’s on my mind, so she’s a lot like Nanashi in that respect. But I know she isn’t a character so...”
I shrug.
“She’s just somepony in my head. We get to trade off who’s driving the body. It could be worse.”
“Oh?” Jess said, bitterly, tears threatening at her eyes.
“She could have taken over and booted me out long ago,” I said, my voice a bit flat.
What?! Blossom shrieked.
“What?!” Jess said, matching the voice in my head for volume and tone.
I winced.
I would never do such a thing, how could you even-
I am trying to make a point! Shut up!
I felt Blossom retreat and I realized Jess wasn’t the only one regretting what had come out of her mouth, even if mine was mental.
“I’m in her body,” I went on, rubbing my ear. “Her mind’s here. She’s scared, to be sure, but she could easily have snuffed me, overwhelmed me... Something.” I shrugged. “She doesn’t because that’s not who she is.”
Inside, I felt Blossom’s head raise up from the hurt I’d sent her down.
“She’s a kind, friendly, gifted pony who is in way over her head. Cloud’s in the same boat, but I don’t think she has Blossom’s virtues that make us work so well for me.”
I poked at Jess’s chest with an indicative hoof.
“You can’t treat what I’m going through as where you should be. Who Cloud is and who you are is going to mix very differently in your head versus how Blossom and I are mixing in mine.”
Jess’s lips pressed into a thin line and she snorted. Very pony like.
“I know that intellectually,” she said. “But you just make this all seem so... Easy and... And now I feel like I’m whinging and I hate whinging!”
My first reaction was to placate her, soothe her and tend to her, but we’d gotten into that fight before. I wasn’t her therapist, I’m her marefriend. That meant being honest with her. My instincts approved.
“So whinge!,” I said, throwing my hooves up for emphasis. “I don’t think it’s whinging to bitch about not getting along with the psychically bonded equine in my head! I mean, if you’re going to whinge, that’s a pretty fucking good thing to whinge about.”
I smiled at her crookedly and held it.
Jess stared at me and snorted, less pony like and more laugh like as she shook her head.
“You are very silly,” she said.
“I am,” I replied, and wrapped both wings and forelegs back around her to reinforce a hug.
“And you are so nice to put up with me.”
I smiled, through closed eyes as I cuddled her close. “I don’t put up with you,” I said. “I love you. You put up with me and my Sherlock-like moodswings.”
“I don’t put up with your Sherlock like moodswings,” Jess retorted opening us up so I could see her smirk and the warm look in her new amethyst eyes. “I love you, so I love them.”
I smiled at her, more broadly. She smiled back.
“Love you, Firefly,” I said.
“Love you too, Cupcake,” Jess replied.
We kissed and held it. Warmth blossomed in my chest and I adjusted my grip to bring Jess in closer.
For once, Blossom didn’t wince. Instead, she hesitantly stepped forward to explore the feeling, the kiss with the combination of her best friend and my marefriend. I could feel her care and curiosity and I let her look. As she explored with me, I also felt when Cloud tried to slide in from the other side as the kissing style started moving and Jess stopped her, separating us.
She smiled at me. I smiled back.
“I have a very horny pony in my head,” Jess said with a smirk.
“Mine’s a bit terrified of sex,” I replied.
“How’d they ever become friends?”
“Life,” I said with a shrug.
We held each others’ hooves for a minute. I broke contact first to hold up the iPad.
“So. You game?”
She sighed, a smile playing to her lips.
“Sure. Let’s go meet some ponies.”
Party Ponies in The Park (Providing Punch and Purpose)
Getting to Shelby Park was easy and spotting the pony group was even easier. A pegasus hopped up on a low-lying cloud, waving her forehooves emphatically.
Grinning to each other, Jess and I spilled air until our cloud was along the one with the waving pegasus. She looked like a pegasus version of Bon Bon, though her cutie mark was different and her mane and tail style were more flowing. Familiarity crossed through me and I realized Blossomforth recognized her.
“Blossom! Cloud!” said the pegasus excitedly.
“Voyage!” Blossom said.
And I knew her. Bon Voyage. She was a volunteer for weather crew and had pitched in during tornado duty.
“Heya Bon,” Cloud said.
Our ponies all got in close, shaking hooves and smiling and then I saw the flicker as Bon Voyage’s human came back to the front.
“Oh. Uh, hey!” she said her grin becoming nervous.
“It’s okay, we’re getting used to it too,” I replied, taking my own body back. “I’m January and this is Jessica, what’s your name?”
“I’m Krista,” the pegasus answered. “They had me sit up here for the first shift to flag down any pegasi that came in close. I didn’t think you two would make an appearance though!”
Jess shrugged. “We were in the area,” she said.
“Well, it’s down there. Maybe I’ll get a minute...” She glanced over Jess. “To talk?”
Krista blinked and shuddered and tried to recover with a weak smile.
Jess blinked in return at the only somewhat covert looking-over.
“Um, sure,” Jess said.
Ooookay. That was weird.
We parked Suzy out of the way and winged down to the park where humans mingled with sixteen or so unicorns, earth ponies and pegasi. Jess had a very furrowed brow as we came in for a landing.
“You okay?” I asked.
“Something’s bugging me. Like with Krista- I mean, Bon Voyage, I mean... That pegasus back there. Cloud’s not talking though.”
“Don’t let her give you any guff,” I replied.
I would pay to see that work out, Blossom snorted.
As we landed, a few ponies came up, as did a few humans, to welcome us. We smiled and shook hooves and hands, doing brief introductions. A tall, wiry-looking, black guy in a gray t-shirt with Applejack winking in the corner like Han Solo, introduced himself as Carlisle and indicated the Day Guard pin on his chest.
“I’m the one who invited you guys,” he said to me. Jess had gotten minorly mobbed and was busy being chatted up by the ponies so we stepped to the side to talk.
“Thanks, man. Pleasure,” I said, shaking his hand with my hoof.
He nodded. “Drinks are over there, mostly punch, Coke and stuff. We got chips, some potato salad and the guys are grilling.”
I observed the spread and saw a few men were over by a small park grill, but I didn’t catch a whiff of beef, instead smelling grilled eggplant.
“Went all pony friendly didn’t ya?” I said.
He nodded, pride sliding into his demeanor.
“We tried. I did want to touch base with you though.”
“Oh?” I asked. I pushed a foreleg through the crowd to touch Jess and let her know I was getting something to drink. She asked for water and I walked with Carlisle over to the refreshment table where an olive-skinned, chubby girl with a pink t-shirt and blue backpack was talking to a unicorn neither Blossom, nor I recognized.
“Yeah,” he said. “I read your page. You really flying cross-country?”
“We are. Mostly to see if anypony needs help. It looks like y’all have this well in hand here.”
“We’re trying,” he said, pouring a Coke.
I got fruit punch that I watered down and just water for Jess.
“You’re succeeding,” I replied. “Looks like everypony here feels safe and I don’t see a PAPA in sight.”
“We had a few close calls. Some house on chicken legs tore through a neighborhood a few days ago. Some people said they saw a purple pony, but that’s long gone, so we can’t confirm it.”
He then pointed to an earth pony with a gray coat, deep, purple mane and a boot-shaped cutie mark. “Then there’s Zack in Welly over there. He got trapped at an abandoned Pizza Hut outside of town when some of those anti-pony assholes ran him off the sidewalk. I texted with him the whole time we were getting police there. Diana was the one who saved him though.”
“Diana?” I asked.
He jerked his thumb and I raised an eyebrow at the woman he indicated. She could have been Diana of Themyscira. Tall, clearly muscular and with raven-black hair past her shoulders, I kept any comments of a superhero coming to a pony’s rescue to myself. Diana laughed at something the pegasus she was speaking to said. It was a good laugh.
“She’s on Night Guard. Came on the place and arrested two of the PAPAs while getting Zack out.” The tone in Carlisle’s voice was either a man with respect or a boy with a bit of a crush. He smirked as if caught. “She’s pretty amazing and we’re glad to have her.”
“Bet you are,” I said, sipping my drink.
He looked down at me.
“I’m not judging,” I said. “She’s hot. I’d say more, but I’m taken.”
“Oh?”
I gestured at Jess who was in an animated discussion with a chocolate unicorn stallion.
“Wooooow,” Carlisle said. “You just launched a thousand ships right there.”
I laughed. “Tell me about it. Blossom and Cloud are really buddies, so it’s a little weird for them, but not bad. Besides, I love my girl and I’m not giving her up just because I’m suddenly a pony.”
He laughed and it was a full sound that encouraged others to join in just to enjoy it with him. the sound made me think he was the Pinkie Pie in his circle of friends.
“Good call,” he said. “Look, I’m gonna let you mingle, but hit me up before you leave. Wanna make sure you have all the necessary contacts if you’re going through with this thing. And talk about some... Other stuff.”
“Kay,” I said and flapped over to Jess, cups in hoof.
“Hey babe,” I said, offering the cup.
Jess took it absently and whereas from a distance she looked okay, up close I could see her eyes were a little wide and her smile a little tight.
“Thanks,” she said.
“You okay?” I asked.
She drank from her Solo cup filled with water and licked her lips.
“I realized what was bugging me about Bon Voyage,” Jess said.
“What’s that?” I asked, taking a sip of my own beverage.
“Cloud has slept with her and nearly every pony here.”
Cue spit take.
I thought you said she wasn’tthat loose! I yelled.
I didn’t think she was! Blossom countered. I thought half of it was just talk!
Well clearly, I’m not the only one who has to work on her trust issues!
“Both of us, actually.” I coughed. “Seriously though? Nearly...?”
Jess nodded.
“Since Cloud’s being... Distant, I’m just seeing what comes up when I ask certain questions in my head. After all the familiarity when all those ponies said hello, I asked myself why and next thing I know I have a head full of ponies. In very... Educational positions.”
We both stood in silence as the party flowed around us.
Jess had some water and sighed. “You know, a few months ago, this would be interesting. Right now, it’s just trying.”
“Why’s that?” I asked, trying to sooth my throat with a careful swig of my own drink.
“Because I’m with you,” she said with a smile. “When I’m in a relationship, that’s it. Nopony else. I mean, nobody else.”
I nuzzled her. “Thanks love.”
Shy, I then traced my hoof around the edge of my cup. “So all those times I said you could totally go with whoever and I’d be fine...”
“Never considered it,” she said. “Well, except the big exceptions.”
“Celebrity clause is always in effect,” I said in an official voice. “Just remember to get a snapshot with them before you dash out the hotel.”
She giggled.
“Lady, do I love you,” she said, leaning against me.
“Love you back,” I replied.
We nuzzled quietly for a bit.
“What about you?” she asked.
“What about me?”
“Have you ever considered...?” She rolled her hoof in the air.
I snorted. “Stars, no! Being in one relationship is enough. Juggling multiple partners? Not worth the effort. I know other people can do it, but you’re all the girl I need.” I rubbed against her. “I just gave you that out because you seemed so much more physical than me and I didn’t want you always waiting on me to get comfortable.”
She pecked me on the cheek.
“I will always wait for you to get comfortable.”
An embarrassed smile blossomed on my face. “Wow, I’m that good?” I mutter, looking at the ground.
“You’re that worth it.”
I blushed. Fiercely.
“C’mon,” Jess said, indicating a knot of ponies and humans lounging around a table. “I know half these ponies are ready to treat me like the pony Captain Jack Harkness, but I’m sure I can politely rebuff them with the built-in girlfriend repellant by my side.”
“I love being repellant,” I said perking up. “Shall I drape upon you like Fleur dis Lee?”
“Who?” Jess asked.
“The model pony when Rarity went all Canterlot social. She draped all over the Most Interesting Pony guy...?” I prompted.
She laughed. “I don’t think you need to go that far, but I won’t object to you being cuddly.”
I grinned, trotting alongside her. “Yay.” ~ Though we had intended to only stay an hour, we ended up going all the way to the end of the meetup with the sun starting to dip behind the trees.
Ponies hopped into waiting cars or flew off as their wont. Goodbyes were said, numbers exchanged, a few promised Facebook friendings were confirmed. The Day Guard was cleaning up. Carlisle and Diana asked Jess and I over to a table to talk privately before we left.
“So,” I asked when we were all gathered. “What’s up?”
The two humans glanced at each other and I realized I was starting to actually think of them that way. Humans. Something I was not. Weird.
“We have a favor to ask,” Diana said. Her eyes were an intense shade of blue. Almost as intense as mine. I don’t know why that made me feel more comfortable with her, but it did.
“What’s that?” I said.
“Can you add a stop to your trip?”
Jess and I shared a look. Jess spoke first.
“It depends,” she said. “We’re not really on a schedule, but we don’t want to move too slowly either.”
“What’s the favor?” I asked.
Diana looked to Carlisle, who had folded his arms and remained quiet. He raised his head and I realized he’d been debating to ask us for the whole of the afternoon.
“I’m missing a friend,” he said.
“Okay,” I said. “I don’t see how we...”
He raised his hand and pulled out his Android. After a few flicks and taps, he turned the phone around and showed us a picture of a young, soft-faced girl in a baggy hoodie with Princess Luna’s cutie mark on the shoulder. She had little twin afro puffs on top of her head and a grin that suggested the picture had been caught after a joke.
“This is Rhea. We met at Comic-con in St. Louis. We had a bit in common, so we kept in touch. Facebook, e-mail, texts. Y’know. Stuff.”
Some Sherlockian part of me went, Irrelevant. Where’s the real data?
Who was that? Blossom asked, blinking in surprise.
A side of myself I use, but am not terribly proud of social skills wise. Shh. I’m trying to listen.
Sorry.
“I’m saving up to move out where she is, in Tulsa. Get a new job because here sucks. No offense.” He directed the last to Diana, who smirked in response.
“None taken.”
“We were talking about all this pony stuff and how wild it was. I joined the Day Guard and she was thinking about joining Luna.”
“Who is best pony,” Diana muttered with a smile.
Carlisle returned it, looking up at the taller woman.
“Then, nothing, quiet. I tried reaching out to some of her friends and her brother, but they haven’t seen her.”
“So what do you think?” I asked.
He shrugged, deflating and put the Android away. He rubbed at the back of his neck.
“I mean, I’m hoping she’s just busy. Like, hasn’t called me in two days busy, but... But it’s not looking good. I reached out to the Guard over there and they said they’ll check with the cops, but that was a day ago and with everything happening- they are busy busy.”
“Help me Obi-wan Kenobi...” I said with a sad smile.
He blushed. “It’s asking a lot, I know, but it’d help me out. Maybe she went pony. Maybe she got caught up in some crazy. I dunno. I only know you two have wings and the earliest any of us are getting there is...” He looked to Diana.
“Five days,” she flatly.
I raised an eyebrow at her.
“I’m trying to call in time off, but with the days getting all messed up, city planning is having fits. I only got here because I told them I was doing civilian surveillance.”
“Civilian...?”
She moved back the corner of her jacket and a badge appeared at her hip. So did a gun. I scolded myself internally for not noticing them earlier.
“Ah,” Jess said.
“You totally have a Wonder Woman cosplay at home, don’t you?” I asked.
Diana grinned wolfishly at me. “I do conventions with a vengeance,” she said. “Wander around with other Wonder Women and glare at any asshole who wants to make a comment.”
“How very... Scary of you.”
“I play to my strengths.”
I chuffed a laugh and my hoof came to my chin as I considered things. Could be easy. Just get to her place and find an earth pony or pegasus who couldn’t work her computer yet. Or a girl with a flu so bad she’s not answering her calls. Could be worse.The amount of worse it could get went exponential. Especially since I knew there were cartoon villains appearing left and right on top of racist hate groups.
“This is what I said we’d do,” I told Jess, glancing over to her.
Her eyes went down in thought, but it wasn’t very long. She nodded, smiling at me.
I looked to Carlisle. “Gimme her contact info. We’re not making any promises, but we’ll drop by her place, do what we can.”
A weight seemed to slide off the man and he smiled without reservation.
“Thanks. Thank you so much!”
“Whoa!”
I was swept up in a firm brony embrace, the first of this trip, which I reciprocated. When I felt like I was having difficulty breathing, I tapped his back and asked for release.
“Sorry,” he said, his blush standing out impressively on his dark cheeks as he let me go.
“‘Sokay,” I replied, a bit unsteadily. “I get it. Ponies are very huggable.”
We parked Suzy somewhere between Arkansas and Missouri. Jess’s map system couldn’t make up its mind and dark as it was we couldn’t make out signs from our position.
“What do you think?” I asked as Jess went about pulling a cloud bed together.
She was quiet. Weighing her words most likely.
“We’re not professionals,” she responded. “We’re not even amateurs. You’re the only one of us with anything approaching investigation experience.”
“I was thinking the same thing.”
She frowned over her work then looked back to me. “You sure about this, love?”
I looked off into the night sky where it met the horizon. Somewhere below us, ponies with fresh human pilots were waking up, seeing the world anew. Some were safe, protected like the group we met in Nashville. Some were on the run, thrown from their homes. Who was Rhea?
“Yeah,” I said.
Maybe I can help, Blossom piped up.
Oh?
Well, I’m pretty observant and being with you is making me think differently. We’d have more eyes on this!
Mmm, I thought noncommittally.
What’s the matter? You don’t think it’s a good idea?
We’ll see, I thought and glanced over at Jess.
Blossom shared my gaze, watching as Jess finished up her sleeping cloud. You’re worried about her, aren’t you? she said, quietly.
Cloud’s not sharing, I said. You can’t do that with Jess. You have to be available, present. She’s going to think Cloud is ignoring her. I’m worried how that’s going to take its toll.
You don’t know that for certain, Blossom replied. Maybe they’re working it out. From what I know of Jess, she and Cloud should be fine since they’re both big fans of planning ahead.
Oh yeah, I said. Forgot that bit about Cloud.
I felt Blossom go through more of my head and I winced.
Sorry, was I-?
No, no you’re fine, it’s just... I’m trying to focus and you’re distracting me.
She blinked.
That’s the first time you’ve really lied to me. In your own head. What’s up?
I pushed air through my nose, resting my head on my crossed forelegs.
We’re essentially looking into a missing persons just because it’s on our way and a fanboy thinks we’re capable. Luna knows why. These are hard. Especially if the missing person wants to stay missing. Often we don’t know people as well as we think we do and when they disappear, that’s it.
Jess smiled at me and I smiled back. She motioned and I floated over to join her on the cloud bed. Ooooh. If I ever got the offer to go back to human, this was going to be hard to give up. Clouds are comfy.
That’s pretty depressing, Blossom thought. Not just what you said, but... All these feelings that come with it. How-?
My parents are journalists, I thought bluntly. Investigative. That’s where I get the lion’s share of my experience. Which meant growing up they weren’t covering the cute dog of the day or the hot celebrity or whatever. Real news was on in my house constantly. They talked about difficult stories openly. I have no illusions about the world.
You still hope though, Blossom said. You... Watched us and felt like you found something special.
Equestria’s nice, I thought. Good escape. Just like this. Just a little escape and then the magic spell will end and you’ll go away.
Wow, someone got mopey all of a sudden.
I looked at Jess, nuzzled her.
I’m not mopey. I’m realistic.
“Jeeee-ess, January’s being mopey,” my traitorous mouth said.
“Hey!” I replied, sitting up.
Blossom giggled. Oh for-
“You’re being mopey?” Jess said, turning a concerned gaze on me and now that she was focused she could see it easy.
I frowned. Stupid, body-sharing, nosy pegasus. I mentally shook my fist at her, and she just giggled further.
“I’m worried,” I said, glancing away. “What if we don’t find her? What if we do and it’s bad? Carlisle seems like a nice guy and we’ve just been given our first opportunity to do something and all I can think of is how I’m going to screw this up!”
Jess sighed and smiled, settling into her cloud and leaning against me.
“So, nothing new?” she said.
“I’m serious here, Jessica,” I said.
“So am I. Look, you wouldn’t have said yes if you didn’t think you could do this and I didn’t agree just to go along with you. I’ve seen that brain of yours at work, love. You’ll find this girl. I know it.”
She kissed me on the cheek.
I blushed, tried to scowl, failed.
“C’mon, let’s get to sleep,” she said. “You’ll have a better perspective in the morning.”
I snuggled in close and Jess draped a wing over me.
“G’night, Firefly,” I said.
“G’night, Cupcake,” she replied.
My breathing steadied out, my eyes drooped, my body relaxed by degrees and then I slipped under. ~ I didn’t even realize I was walking because I didn’t remember getting up to walk, I was just walking and my surroundings were dark and indistinct.
“Where am I?”
“Deep. I can’t tell if she’s letting her guard down or you’re just asking the right questions.”
I glanced over and up and there was Nanashi. She had an off-side streak of pink and green in her hair.
“Where’d you get that thing?” I said, pointing to the contrasting highlight.
“You gave it to me, Blossom,” she replied, keeping pace beside me.
I stopped. I wasn’t Blossomforth.
“What did you call me?” I asked quietly.
Nanashi turned, having gotten a few paces ahead. She cocked her head and arched an eyebrow at me.
“What do you think your name is?” she asked in the tones of a person asking a bomb if it could kindly not blow up at this time as that might put everyone out for a while.
“I’m Janu..”
Uh oh.
“Is it speeding up?” I asked instead.
Nanashi shrugged. “It’s y’all’s head.”
I closed my eyes, slowed my breathing, and Listened. I Listened for my thoughts, my perspective, myself.
“I’m January,” I said, nodding.
“Oh that was trippy,” Blossomforth said just a little behind me
Turning, I found my surroundings resolving into a long corridor, lit by electric lamps on the walls. As I took in what my subconscious had provided, I realized Blossom was looking at me funny. I could see why. In a nearby mirror, I looked exactly like her save for the necklace around my neck. She wore the shield bracelet on her foreleg.
“What... Happened?” I asked.
“We- You went to sleep,” she said, her head lowering in thought. “And we... We were... I don’t remember.” She looked at me, her eyes wide with fear as the realization sunk in. “I don’t remember,” she said, her voice inching up in panic.
I nodded. “Okay. Okay.” I started pacing the hallway. “Okay.”
Nanashi leaned against the wall and observed us cooly, arms folded.
“You two were talking over each other when you went to sleep. Then, somepony else was walking with me to further explore...” She shrugged. “Something.”
“Wasn’t this supposed to be, like, a safe place?” Blossom asked, throwing her hooves in the air. “I mean, I know we’re merging, but weren’t these dreams supposed to be a check-in point? A hey, how’s it going?”
Stopping, I looked over at Blossom and realized I needed to say something.
“Sex,” I said.
Blossom cocked her head at me, frustration clear on her features. “What about it?” she asked.
“You didn’t blush when I said it.”
That made her blink.
“Oh boy,” she said.
“You are not allowed!” a thundering voice boomed.
Blossom and I looked around in confusion.
“Oh boy,” Nanashi said, rolling her eyes. “Her. I thought you got rid of her, boss.”
“Who?” I asked. “Rid of who?!”
The hall suddenly echoes with the click of hard heels. From boots. Only, there’s something wrong with the sound, it retreats as quickly as it comes while still building to inevitability.
“Who?” I squeak.
Nanashi sighs, gestures down the hall and then I see her.
She’s tall and inky black and her face is a thunderstorm of determination. I realize I can’t make out her body as it seems to sluice and slide around itself as well as lick up the walls, ahead of, behind and all around her. Her face is clear though. Gray skin with eyes like black pools, she’s glaring at me, hard.
As her confounding footsteps echo all around, her arm sweeps out and it’s going for Blossom.
On instinct, I leap between the pair and spread my wings and forelegs wide in protection.
The arm, longer than it has a right to be, freezes right in front of my muzzle. I realize her hands are white. Bone, marrow white. And currently sharp as a scalpel.
“She must not be allowed,” she says simply.
“Warden, stand down,” I respond.
She seethes, her teeth becoming sharp and purposeful as she bares down on me.
“You do not order me,” she hisses. Her arm twitches as if to slice me.
I stand my ground, unflinching, sweat on my brow. I can hear a violin string somewhere in the distance. It’s being pulled tauter and tauter.
“Who- who is that?” Blossom asks.
The sound rises. It’s like someone’s playing the string with a razor, adding further edge to the already unnerving noise.
“The warden who watches the watchman,” Nanashi replies. “The keeper of January’s heart.”
We all stand. Nanashi off to the side, uninvolved, but speaking truth. The Warden in front of me, menacing and powerful in her own right. Blossomforth, who hasn’t left to hide in a safer place in my subconscious, instead depending on me. Me, who is just holding my ground.
“I am not clearing someone else after we let that cow through!” the Warden hisses.
The violin string snaps.
Suddenly, I’m not Blossomforth’s twin. Suddenly, I am tall. Suddenly, I am true. Suddenly, I am wrapped in a white dress that explodes in tulle around my knees with a black, crop-top jacket over it. I stomp in purposeful boots toward the Warden, whose arm retracts and she shrinks, becoming solid and pinnable.
“Wanna repeat that?” I ask, my voice chilled and quiet as I loom over her.
She glares up at me, fear marking her every feature.
I bore my gaze through her, shrinking her more.
“You were speaking about the woman I love, Warden, clearly you have an opinion,” I say.
Ice is forming along the walls. I can hear Blossom’s teeth start to chatter and see breath out of the corner of my eye from Nanashi as she exhales.
“None are to be trusted,” the Warden says, small, defeat in her voice if not her words. “They are all risks.”
I straighten and fold my arms to regard her. Ice continues to spread around me, locking her down, keeping her still. Small, ink woman. Warden of my heart. She was so useful so long ago, but now...
“You are obsolete,” I say and it’s a pronouncement. “You are remembered only because I appreciate your actions in the past.”
I lean forward until my large face is centimeters from her tiny head.
“Do not abuse my kindness again. Find purpose elsewhere and leave my heart to me.”
And she was gone.
The ice broke, raining from the wall and around me. I spun on a heel to slump into a nearby chair. I fit since I was now just a few inches under Nanashi again. Sighing, I rubbed at my temple, eyes closed.
I felt when Blossomforth’s hoof touched my leg.
“January?”
I inhaled and opened my eyes slightly. “In the flesh. So to speak.”
“Wow. How did you- What was-”
Her eyes clouded and I felt that same fluttering through my head and chest I’d gotten used to ascribing to her when Blossom was catching up with my mind. It was faster. Just before the questions could fully form, they were answered. We were very close now.
I leaned into the chair’s cushion. Nanashi smiled at me across the hall. She hadn’t moved once during this whole ordeal.
“Having fun?” I asked her.
“A blast,” she replied. “Nice dress, dude.”
I rolled my eyes. “Thank you.”
“Don’t you love her?”
I turned to her voice and found Blossom had pulled up another chair to sit next to me. She wasn’t looking at me, and her expression was obtuse.
“I do,” I responded, aware of who she was talking about.
“Then why is all... That in there?” she said, waving her hoof where the Warden had been.
“I’m complicated,” I responded.
She gave me a withering, unimpressed look.
“Sorry,” I replied, chagrined. Exhaling, I drummed my fingers on the armrest.
“I have trust issues.”
“No, duh,” she replied. “What does that have to do with how you feel about your marefriend?”
I frowned. I’d tried having this discussion with Jessica before. It never went well.
Eventually, I just focused on how I felt about her and us and how I felt about her when the chips were down. That didn’t unmake all my horrid little what-if’s and worries. I never expected to be in a relationship ever again. Especially not one this supportive. After a life like mine, I didn’t wait for the other shoe to drop, I looked for it to drop.
“You know how some stories have a character who has a contingency plan for their contingency plan?” I said instead.
“I’m part you now, so of course,” she replied.
“Well, I have contingency plans for my contingency plans for my relationships with people.” I sighed, slumping into the nice dress. Weird, I never really thought of myself as a dress girl, but here it is: all white and floofy. The jacket and thick boots are a bit more my style. “The way life’s treated me... It’s just... Safer.”
Blossom shakes her head. “You really should have been merged with Cloud, you sound just like her.”
My head popped up at that. “What?”
“She’s always like, ‘I have my rules so nobody gets hurt’ or ‘I don’t want to hurt anypony, so I keep my distance.’ Seriously, you’re like... Brain Twins.”
“Ugh,” I muttered, placing a hand over my eyes. “I weep for Jess. I can’t imagine sharing my mind with somepony like me.”
“I can,” Blossom said. “And I don’t have to imagine either, so you know what?”
I raised a few fingers to let one eye peek at her.
“You’re a pretty nice person, January. You put others before yourself in a really astounding way and while you don’t seem to have a clue how people feel about you, you’re really sharp at reading them and using that to help. You’re funny and clever and creative as all tartarus and while I’m no expert on humans, I know you actually do look pretty good.”
I blushed, ducking my head. She sounded like Jess.
“That said, you are easily the most scared pony I’ve met since Fluttershy.”
My head came back up at that.
“Your marefriend loves you. I can see it, Cloud sees it, dogs see it. That means she trusts you implicitly and the least you can do is the same to her.”
“I do,” I replied. It came out only a little petulant.
Blossomforth shook her head.
“You still have an exit hatch, a contingency plan,” she said.
And, yeah, there it was.
She looked over at it: a steel door with a bright red EXIT sign above it. It was simple and didn’t even have a complicated handle. It was like an office door, just a push to open it and step through.
“Trust means you can’t have that. Thanks to you, I know her pretty well. And I can pretty safely say, using your people-reading skills, that she doesn’t have one for you. She never would.”
I stared at the door. I thought I’d gotten rid of it long ago.
“I’m scared,” I said.
“Of what?”
“Getting hurt.”
“Take it from me,” Blossom said. “Life will always find a way to hurt you.” She sighed. “A lot.”
Memories not my own flickered to the top and I felt tears running down my muzzle as faces that had familiarity and ache to them surfaced.
“But, it’s going to hurt more as long as you have that thing.” She pointed with her hoof to the contingency exit.
I looked at the Exit door. So simple. So powerful. So dangerous..
I remember our last big fight.
It was the latest in a series of fights that had threatened continuous escalation that week. Things were not helped by me bringing home some unrefined, raw emotions from a rough session of therapy. That hour usually covers my spectrum, but I’d stalled and by the time we’d gotten to where my pain was, time was up. I came home with all the pain still on my sleeve.
How I trusted Jess came to the table. I shared fully, unrestrained and unfiltered and not in a good way.
There are words you can’t take back. Words that once said change the entire landscape between people and in a blink, once familiar terrain is dark and foreboding and filled with perilous shadows.
I said some of those words. I meant them.
Jessica realized exactly how paranoid and suspicious I could be. How cruel I could be. I thought she’d share the same suspicions of me, but she didn’t. She explained through a face of tears how she would never think such a thing of me. Ever.
I almost broke us up because I thought I’d keep doing this to her, ripping at her heart because while I thought people were great and were capable of great things, I believed everyone had the same capacity for horrible things too. I could only trust so far, what made her special? Why should I stay if she would only go? I dumped that on her and she cried, holding me tighter than she ever had.
And as I watched her sob, my own eyes clouded with tears. I realized I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t lose her. Ever. I went through my trust questions every day and I always came to the same answer: stay with her.
We held on.
Because I didn’t want to lose her. Because she didn’t want to lose me. Because she was important to me and I wanted her to be there tomorrow and the day after and the day after that. Because I’d always been important to her and she was just waiting for me to catch up.
I cleared my mental house and worked hard to keep myself from backsliding and suspecting her of every little thing. I trusted her, alien as it was to me.
Weeks passed. We rebuilt. We grew surer in each other and what we were doing.
Apparently though, some doubt lingered, deep in the recesses of my mind.
I looked at the door. So simple. So final.
I rose and walked over to it.
“I thought this was about ponies,” I said, not touching the door.
“It’s about us,” Blossomforth said, stepping up next to me. “If I’m going to live here, then I have to know you can trust me. If this is here for the woman you love with your whole heart, how can we ever fully trust each other?”
My breathing had picked up.
“How do I know I can trust you?” I asked. “Maybe you’re clever. Maybe you figured out a way to hide-”
“January.”
The flat pronouncement curbed me and the shadows I’d felt creeping around my face faded.
“Sorry,” I said, my head drooping.
“I forgive you. I know you’ve had it rough. But your mind shouldn’t be one more place to tear into yourself.”
I stared at the door intently, then I reached up to the door’s frame and gripped it hard. I started tugging.
“What are you doing?” Blossom asked.
“Being metaphorical. Now are you going to criticize or help me here?”
Blossom shook her head and approached the door frame as well, biting down. To her surprise, the metal bent.
“What the-”
“We’re in the garden of my mind, work with me here,” I muttered and with a wrenching squeal, the metal door frame tore away. Partially.
I sighed, tossing the scrap. “Of course it’s not that easy. Some thirty years of paranoia aren’t just going away.”
“Of course,” Blossom grumbled, tearing at the frame.
We worked long and while the door was firm, it tore like it was some bizarre, metal wallpaper. Eventually our efforts revealed that behind it was a hole. It was a little taller than me and wide enough for two, but a hole nonetheless. Blossom floated up and yanked on the Exit sign, taking it from above the black space where the exit had once been.
“What’s that?” she asked.
I gazed into the empty void and I knew. “The last step,” I said.
“This is the purple room. Purple walls, purple ceiling, purple everything... You know the purple room. This is your purple room.”
“Who’s saying that?” Blossom asked as we walked.
“My tenth grade English teacher,” I replied.
“Where’s Nanashi?”
“She doesn’t come here.”
Blossom gave me a look, then continued walking in silence next to me as the soothing voice went on.
“Now you’re dropping into the blue room. Blue walls, blue ceiling, blue everything...”
“January, I know I could just think about it and know why your tenth grade English teacher is talking about the rooms we’re going through- at a pretty freaky angle I’d like to point out-, but part of trust means I don’t just know things.”
“So?” I asked.
She rolled her eyes. “So why is your tenth grade English teacher talking about the rooms we’re going through at a pretty freaky angle?”
“It’s... Something I did a long time ago that really should have been treated better than it was.”
“Now you’re in the green room. This room is entirely green,” Miss Anderson continued from nowhere. “Green walls, green ceiling, green everything. Everything is green in the green room...”
“Care to explain?” Blossom asked, an edge to her voice.
“It was like... Low form hypnosis,” I said. “You fall through each room, through colors until...”
“Down you go, down, down you go to the yellow room. Such a room, the yellow room...”
“Until what?” Blossom asked.
“Until you reach the last room,” I said.
Blossom was quiet. We listened to Miss Anderson keep talking in her soothing voice.
“Now you’re in the white room...”
We kept walking.
“January? January?” Blossom said, tripping in the dark. “Ponyfeathers,” she muttered. “I can’t see anything. Where are you...”
When she saw the light in the distance, she turned so she was facing it. Picking her hooves, carefully, warily, she advanced.
The room was huge. Vast. And only dimly lit from a source she couldn’t place. The walls were gray and craggy looking while high above she saw shadows and... Were those spikes of stone? Her hooves clopped and echoed all through the gray and black space. She could also hear the trill of small creatures bouncing, rebounding around unseen in the deep shadows. Blossom realized she wasn’t in a room, she was in a cave. An enormous cave.
“Luna’s mane...” I breathed.
I wrinkled my nose. Why did that...?
“You coming in?” I asked.
Blossom blinked at the voice and located its source pretty quick. There was this... Wall of computer monitors and a chair in front of them. She could see a hand going out and typing on the massive keyboard beneath the monitors.
Blossom walked toward the chair and computers. As she did, she noticed how the cave was decorated.
Glass cases, arranged in no particular order, were sitting on what looked like black stalagmites spread out through the lowly lit space. Each glass case was smooth on top, displaying some item with a little light aimed at the item.
Her blankie that she’d had since she was a baby. A pristine, paperback copy of a book by Tamora Pierce called Wild Magic. A costume with a white jacket, leather pants and black opera gloves around a blank dummy was in a freestanding glass case all its own.
Besides the cases, there were pictures and photographs everywhere.
Friends, acquaintances. Girls, boys. Memories, creations. Some things human, others almost. She even saw a picture of Nanashi. Full body and smirking.
I giggled. And heard it come to my ears.
“What?” Blossom asked.
“You haven’t noticed the big things. Not yet,” said the voice from behind the chair.
Blossom blinked and looked up past the cases and pictures and saw what the voice had meant. Embedded in the rock, acting as pillars throughout the cave were depictions of women. Specifically of one woman repeated over and over. She bore the weight of this cave again and again and while each statue or rendering was a bit different, Blossom recognized her with perfect clarity.
“Jessica?” I breathed.
“It’s not surprising. In this room, the temporary things like pictures and hangings are temporary to you. Maybe they’ll be taken down one day, maybe not. The stuff that’s a fixture...”
A hand came from its hidden place and gestured to the cases, which I realized didn’t look like stalagmites, but actually were and grew up from solid ground to somehow become glass and transparent on the top.
“That is a bit more permanent.”
“What about Jessica?” Blossom said, looking at one sculpture from the earth rising beside the computer screens. She seemed more playful in this rendering with pointed ears and wings that were somehow translucent though still made of stone.
“Now her...” I said, spinning around in the chair. “She’s the fact of my life.”
I blinked at myself.
She was January. Of a kind.
She wasn’t a pony or some angry ice goddess in a white dress. She wasn’t some flavor of Nanashi or any other character Blossom had met so far. What she was, was tall. And almost perfectly androgynous. The soft face with dirty-blond bangs atop broad shoulders seemed to fuddle the memories Blossom carried of a woman who was more characteristic than typically beautiful. The deep, blue-purple cloak further muddled her perceivable gender. Quite purposely, Blossom considered.
“Hello Blossomforth,” she said.
I rubbed at my head. “What’s...?”
“The final straw,” I replied. “Can’t you feel it? We’re rushing together and around each other like paint in a mixer! Like two words nearing a portmanteau! Like dirt and heat in a gravity well!”
The cloaked figure grinned.
“Like inevitability.”
As Blossom worked out what she was describing, she realized she wasn’t simply working it out, she was keeping pace with this excitable creature and understood her.
“How does your perspective feel?” the androgynous figure asked.
Okay, almost understood her.
Blossom blinked and realized she was looking at myself and myself. At the same time.
“Uh... A little complicated,” Blossom replied.
“That’s just because we’re clinging to identity. It’s familiar. It’s okay. We’re about to step into the great unknown, Blossomforth. I can’t tell you how excited I am!”
She winked at me.
“I’m sorry. You are January, aren’t you?” Blossom said.
I nodded.
“Not what you expected?” I asked.
“No, it’s just...”
“It’s how I see myself,” I replied.
“But I’ve seen your memories and those pictures they’re...” Blossomforth felt the final piece click into place. “They’re affected by my perception, which is yours.”
She nodded and rose. She was very tall.
“Tell me, because this is all happening too fast for me to know everything I’m thinking,” she said. “Does Equestria have ponies who are born... Sexually different?”
I cocked my head at her, my wings ruffling.
“Like how...?” Blossom asked.
“Are all the little girl ponies, girl ponies through and through and are all the little boy ponies, boy ponies through and through?” the cloaked person asked, her tone just this side of impatient.
“As... Far as I know,” I replied.
January’s image of herself nodded. “Humanity isn’t so cut and dry, my little pony.” She kneeled down and rested a hand on my wither. “I wasn’t always female.”
Blossom blinked and suddenly all the memories she’d been going through rearranged and repositioned and she knew exactly who January was.
“So you’re...”
“Complicated,” January replied. “Born with girl bits in some places and guy bits in others and a brain that had some very interesting notions I had no purchase for.” She smiled a tired, old smile. “It took forever just to figure out if I wasn’t going to fall somewhere in the middle.”
“Your medication- My medication was to balance my body.”
“Remember the third day?”
I nodded. I remembered it because it was the third day of taking my medication when my head cleared and all the noise stopped. It was like someone had turned off static I didn’t even know was there. I could think clearly for the first time in my life.
“No wonder we were so blase about becoming a pony,” Blossom said.
January shrugged and rose. With a step back, she fell and slouched into the chair.
“My body and mind were already at cross purposes as far as I was concerned, getting wings and fur felt pretty minor in terms of my personal identity, which had mostly survived in my head anyway. Actually, I was glad that some things were finally lining up on the outside.”
“But why were you so against me?” Blossom asked, stepping forward, feeling bolder than she had right to, but she was already facing someone bold.
“I wasn’t,” January replied. “I welcomed you with open arms.”
“Liar.”
“Truth! I”m just... Complicated.”
“Why?”
“Because you don’t survive like I have and not get twisted up a bit,” January replied and Blossom realized how warm the other personality had been up till this point.
The moment hung flat between them, until January reached a hand and parted her cloak near her waist, revealing a track of skin that had a lone tattoo on it. The ink had faded to the slight blue most black tattoos get after time, but it was still easily recognizable. It appeared tribal. An oversimplification of one eye closed and the other open.
“I got my cutie mark before it was cool,” January said with a chuckle.
Looking to Blossom, she said, “You know what this is, Blossomforth?”
“It’s the tattoo I got on my right hip after I met...”
January nodded.
“She unlocked the door for me. Or she let me know there was a key I could use to unlock that door.” January pointed to the eye. “Hence the pooka with its eye and little bit of jester lines.”
“Your cutie mark,” Blossom said.
“My symbol. All who I am and what I represent, in one simple tattoo. Part of that definition was a liar. But not a cruel one. One that plays. Unfortunately, I didn’t have anyone to play with for a very long time and that’s a long time to build a labyrinth in your brain.”
She traced the skin idly. “Not too heady, right?” She looked up, smiling at Blossom. “I think I’ll still be proud of this once I get fat and my belly sags and I’m a comfortable old bitty.”
“That won’t happen,” Blossom chuckled.
January’s smile became something different. Sadder, but a contented sad. “Because this is the end of January and Blossomforth, isn’t it?” she said in a far off voice.
Blossom didn’t reply.
The silence stretches, gains prominence and is heavy. A gong starts to sound from far off, but close enough the floor feels like it’s shaking.
“Cloister bell. Really?” Blossom says with a half-smile.
January shrugs; she couldn’t resist her own humor.
“Are you scared?” Blossom asks.
“No. This has been a long time coming. Many people like me yearn for this point. The end of all my little mechanisms and defenses. The end of division. The end of disharmony.”
January smiles a tired smile and Blossom can now see the scars on her soft face. They are invisible scars picked up in an invisible battle that lasted the entirety of January’s life. They were earned in simple conversations and white-knuckle screaming matches. They were earned in trips to the bathroom, interactions with co-workers and haunting chat rooms. The battles were long and they had taken their toll.
“You must be tired,” Blossom says, offering her hoof and a full, friendly smile.
“So very,” January agrees, still slouching in her chair.
“You won’t have to fight to be yourself any more.”
January nods, grinning electrically. “Why else do you think I trust you? You see me.”
January takes Blossom’s hoof and the room shakes, walls cracking. Holes open in the top as the pair stare at one another, sun beaming down into the once dark area. The pillars shift and rise, Jessica gaining wings and a mane. New structures birth from the floor as color fills into the space and a new beginning is born.
“Do you trust me?” I ask with the roar of creation in my ears.
“Until the ends of all the universes and back again,” I respond.
I was always an early riser. Or, at least, I was an early riser compared to Jess. Cloud usually got up before me. Or me?
Blinking, I realized how... Awake I was. Not just physically, but mentally. I hadn’t felt this sharp since the Third Day of Medication.
Turning to the east, I saw dull purples and oranges on the horizon and they looked like the most intense colors I had ever seen. A faint smile grew on my face, taking roots.
“Look at that,”I said softly.
And I realized I was talking to myself.
Not talking to Blossom or January, but me. Myself.
Whoa. Wild.
Jess had rolled against me in the night, but her wings were tucked close to her body, so it wasn’t much for me to roll away slightly and stretch, pushing my hooves out in front. I looked at them. Since this started, I knew they were my hooves, at least for the time being, but now they really felt like mine. I flexed them as if grasping something invisible. My hooves. Mine. Me.
I chuckled, which led to a laugh which rose to something altogether different as I just loosed this wide, joyous sound as I leapt to the rise of the sun, my wings spread open.
“Wooooo-hoooooooooo!” I crowed, somersaulting in the air.
I drifted back down to the cloud bed as Jess made a noise and rolled a little away from me to cover her head with more fluffy cloud stuff. I smiled, stroked her mane and felt my love for her swell in my chest. Good. That’s how it was supposed to be.
I flapped over to Suzy to get out the iPad. Jess needed her sleep. Today was going to be a big day after all. ~ Jess woke to the smell of pancakes. I know this because my right wing was idly fanning the aroma of the to-go order I got from the Waffle House I stopped in earlier.
“Mornin’ Firefly,” I said, my hoof flicking across the iPad.
“Morning,” she said with a yawn. A cute yawn. A very, very cute yawn.
I grinned as I flicked about the information on Facebook.
“How’d you sleep?” I asked.
“Like I was on a cloud,” she answered with a snicker. She noticed the food I was fanning at her and smiled a little wider though it was tinged with sleep.
“Aw, love you didn’t have to.”
“I felt like it. Because today, John...” I said in my best impression of Benedict Cumberbatch. “The game, is on!”
She laughed, shaking her head. Kicking the bed cloud into water vapor and thus proving her body’s name, she flapped to Suzy and sniffed at the pancakes.
“Mmm. Good. Any particular reason you’re in a Sherlock mood?” she asked, getting open the syrup packet and pouring its contents liberally.
I tilt my head at her, smiling lopsidedly, which I hoped offset the head tilt. She giggled at me and licked the last bit of syrup from the packet.
“Because I just slept next to the most beautiful pony in all Earth and Equestria,” I said, leaning over to kiss her on the lips.
Syrup trailed away and she gave me a quirked eyebrow.
“Mmm, tasty,” I said, licking up the syrup.
“You are in a very silly mood this morning,” Jess said through a laugh.
“Good mood, Jess. Good mood.”
“That’s a change from last night,” she replied, munching down on her pancakes.
I turned to get the iPad. “Lots of things change in a night,” I said, chipperly. “Like, I did some thinking and I’m sure we can make it to Rhea’s apartment before the morning is up. Depending on its state, we get in and see if we can find any turned pony evidence and you’re looking at me funny is everything okay?”
Jess’s eyes were wide and her face seemed to be having trouble deciding on itself.
“Your- Blossom- Cutie- What?” she pointed a twitching hoof at my flank.
While I wasn’t one-hundred-percent certain, I was fairly sure that I’d just seen two personalities talking over one another at the same time. It wasn’t scary; just fascinating watching Jess and Cloud wrestle for control.
In an effort to ease things by, I went with the gestured hoof and looked at my flank.
“Oh,” I said. “Would you look at that...”
My cutie mark had changed.
Blossomforth had gotten her cutie mark when she’d built a cloud generator at a young age and saw all the possibilities therein. Two flowers had appeared in the shades of her hair on her formerly blank flank and they looked impressively like two interlocking gears or overlapping flowers. Blossom loved seeing how nature worked and opportunities blossomed from that.
Now, though, several of the petal gears were gone and in the center of her pink flower was an oversimplified, black eye against a yellow background. Additionally, rather than meshing gears the green swooped into the pink like a brush that had shifted colors along the way. Most interestingly, the green flower now only had three petals on the bottom of it while the pink flower had four petals on the top, over the eye.
I checked my other side and it was the same story. My cutie mark was a blend of my old cutie mark and my own little tattooed symbol. How about that.
I looked back up and could tell that both Jess and Cloud were looking at me.
“Um,” I said. “Ta-da?”
“Blossom what happened to your- January why is your tattoo- I was speaking- SHUT UP YOU- Gimme the mouth you feathering-”
“Girls! Girls!” I shouted, waving my hooves and they stopped, which was comforting. Remember what I said about two faces being intriguing? Not so much when they were both trying to take over the same mouth. It looked like Cloud was having a grand mal seizure.
“Okay,” I said. “Just... One at a time. Jess, we’re actually dating, so you first.”
A spasm went through Cloud’s expression.
“Cloud. C’mon. She’s my true love. Respect that, please.”
The face settled and Jess reached a hoof to her face to confirm she was in charge.
“What... Happened? Cloud started freaking out the second I saw your cutie mark.”
I looked over at my new cutie mark again, trying to figure out how to say this.
“January... Is everything alright? Blossom didn’t do anything, did she?”
“No... Blossom definitely wasn’t the only one involved,” I replied with a weak grin.
“January...” Jess reached a hoof out and I saw tears in her eyes.
“Hey, hey now. I’m still here, sort of.” I got in close, took her hoof and pressed it against my cheek. “See, really here. It’s just... different. I’m not just January anymore.”
I couldn’t have hurt her more if I’d actually slugged her.
She clutched inward and I moved to keep her from curling up, letting her fall across my shoulder and I wrapped her in my wings.
The tears came.
I stroked her back, whispering soothing things while I worried. I hadn’t really thought this through. I’d been all high on post-merging excitement. Damn. Well, no time to mope. My marefriend needed me.
“No, I’m so not gone,” I said in a soft voice, pushing her back so she could look at me.
Her long equine neck sagged and I brought up a hoof to get her eyes on mine.
“Hey there,” I said soothingly. “D’you- D’you remember when you asked me to be your girlfriend? I do. I was wired for sound with all that caffeine I’d drank. Not to mention the booze.”
She blinked, sniffling and sagging.
“And we were just sitting there in our Hogwarts robes, the convention going on around us and you were putting the questions to me that I really didn’t want to answer because I was so sure, I was so freaking sure that I’d just hurt you in the end. Remember what I said?”
Jess gulped snot and shuddered.
“‘You’re going to be bad for business, I can tell,’” she quoted. She looked like I’d just asked her to poke the dead body of her mother for fun.
I nodded, panic rising in my gorge, so I brought her close again to embrace her.
“And I told you that I had to think on it because we needed sleep and you just lay there and I went into the bathroom to do a roadie bath and when I came back to bed to get those two hours of sleep, I told you, "Yes." And you thought it was a dream and I had to assure you I meant it.”
“January...?” Jess gulped, stroking my face with her hoof. She looked so sad.
This was so good though. My head felt so clear. Why did she still look so sad?
“New and improved,” I smiled, though I threatened tears myself. “Just... Just think of it like regeneration. You started with Eccleston and you got Tennant.”
“I'd prefer Eccleston,” she choked, her expression as desperate as the laugh.
I tried to laugh with her. “Yeah, yeah, but I’m still me. It’s all still here, I still love you. With all my pony heart.” I leaned against her and rocked with her.
Her voice changed when Cloud took over. “Where’s Blossomforth?”
Jess used Cloud’s voice like her own- mischievous, playing when she was light, sharp and forward when she had to be in charge, open and wide when she was vulnerable. I knew her voice even through a different pony’s mouth. Cloud used her voice as her own and the effect was chilling as it struck an entirely different set of memories in me.
I pushed back from the hug, aware I was dealing with a new pony.
“Hi Cloud, she’s still here, just like January,” I said, dashing at my eyes.
“Feather that. Where’s my friend? What did you do to her you feathering monkey?!”
“Right here,” I said, pulling on my memories with Cloud to reinforce it. “January and I merged, Cloud. It’s not bad. I’m still here.”
Cloud glared at me.
“Liar,” she spat.
I rolled my eyes, my cheeks heating up as I tried to keep my temper. “Real mature Cloud. Look, I’m sorry this has thrown a wrench into your plans, whatever they were, because this is the longest we’ve talked since this went down and what’s up with that, huh? Jessica’s nice. If you just shared with her and let her-”
“Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut! Up!” she screamed, backing to the edge of the cloud, her wings wrapping protectively around her.
I went across the soft, white expanse to the pony before me and her wings drooped. Instead of Cloud, I found Jessica behind them. Shaking slightly.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey,” she said weakly.
“How’s your co-pilot?”
Jess looked down. She sighed, looked back up to me.
“Not talking to me. She’s sparring with... She’s sparring with Sorcha to burn off some steam.”
I nodded appreciatively, offering my hoof to help her up.
“Good call. If anyone can keep up with Cloud, it’d be Sorcha.”
Jess sighed, looked away from me, then took my hoof to rise up. She looked me in the eye, turning her head a little, then the other way.
“Hi,” I said.
“You... Merged?”
I nodded.
“And you... Do you still love me?”
“With all my little pony heart,” I said, grinning from ear to ear.
A breath escaped her and I caught her before her knees buckled.
“I’m still me,” I said softly. “Just a bit different now.”
Jess indicated she was fine, or at least, fine enough, and sat down. I moved over to sit next to her.
She was quiet for what felt like longer than it should. I leaned my shoulder against her, reassuring contact.
“Who are you?” she asked, finally.
“Good question,” I replied, struggling to keep this as light as possible. “Well. January doesn’t sing in my heart like it used to. I certainly don’t feel like just Blossomforth anymore.”
I shrugged.
“Januforth?” I said to the sky, and immediately shook my head. “Ugh, no. That’s wretched. Hmmm...” I tapped my hoof to my chin.
“Maybe... January... Blossom?” Jess offered. She gulped a bit. Not as extreme as she had, but I caught the shudder.
“Ooo, closer,” I said. “Something, something. Name something... Blossom Jones?”
Jess snorted.
“Yeah. Blossom Jones, I’m on the case,” I said with a wink. “No, we’ll save that for Facebook and other things.”
Then, swirling the names around me I found it. Soft and ready and as clear as when my mom first said my name on a beach in South Carolina.
“Blossom Jane,” I said. “It’s a bit Hunger Games, I know, but... It fits. I’ll still answer to the other names, but I’m Blossom Jane now.”
I smiled at her. “That okay?”
Jess looked at me, blinked slowly, sighed. She leaned against me.
“Sounds good,” she said softly. She was quiet. I draped my wing around her. “Is a name that important?”
“Hey,” I retorted. “Names are totally important. We’ll probably have to do this with you if Cloud ever gets over herself.”
“Yeah. Probably,” Jess said, still soft. She nuzzled beneath me and sighed. I felt her shudder again and twisted to hold me with her hooves.
I tightened my wing about her and she started to cry again.
She wasn’t sobbing anymore. These were desperate tears. Quiet tears. Tears that make anyone holding that person, or pony, start to cry by proxy. I felt my own eyes well up and spill over and I couldn’t help but feel like I was comforting a loved one who just lost someone important to them.
Through my haze of support and giddy rush over my merging experience, it hit me. She had lost January.
Yes, I was still January, but I was Blossom too. Like, my brother had elements of me since we grew up together after all, but she didn’t date him. Didn’t love him. Nor Blossom. She had been in love with January.
I’d merged because it had seemed inevitable. I hadn’t thought Jess would think I was... Gone. Forever. I was so busy being elated at feeling even more balanced than before I lost sight of how this would affect who I loved. My heart sank.
I closed my eyes and brought her in to let her cry more of those quiet, desperate tears. Cry for the loss of the woman she loved. Tears fell down my cheeks as I realized I’d lost too. I lost Blossom. I lost January. I was this new mare now. Who did that make me?
Running my muzzle along Jess’s cheek, I said into her ear, “I may not be January, but I love you Jessica. I love you very, very much and I’m here for you if you need me.”
She nodded, sniffing, coughing.
Eventually, she cried herself out and just lay against me. Spent. We sat in silence, watching the sun move across the morning sky.
“Y’know, I just realized what I named myself...” I said in a soft voice. “I’m vetoing BJ as a nickname.”
Jess laughed, hacking up phlegm in the process.
“I shouldn’t have said anything, should I?” I said.
“No. Thank you for being honest. .... BJ.”
“Aaargh,” I groaned. After a second’s hesitation, I kissed her on the top of her head.
The Villas at Yorktown wasn’t bad. That isn’t to say it was good, just that it wasn’t bad. Off a highway I didn’t recognize, it was one of those apartment complexes that drapes advertising banners across multiple units to advertise their “amazing deals!”
“Don’t January’s parents live around here?” Jess said. Her voice was still a bit raw and dull from her crying jag this morning.
“Not here. They’re somewhere else in the city. I barely remember which highway we took from the airport,” I replied, as we parked our cloud high up.
My human parents, and really, the only parents I knew, were mostly journalists, save my stepmom, who did billing at a doctor’s office. After my brother and I had moved out of the house, my dad and stepmom grew roots and became fixtures of their neighborhood, while my mom and stepdad continued to follow their careers, which took them to Phoenix, then Tulsa.
“Do you want to see them?” Jess asked.
The question felt loaded. Of all my family, I probably got on best with my mom and stepdad, but that wasn’t saying much. Though my brother and I were learning to enjoy each others’ company as we got older, things had been strained in my immediate family since I came out- fully out. It wasn’t that they disapproved, they were just investigative journalists and all they could see were the statistics, which included me dead in a ditch because some asshole decided today was the day to trash the butch-looking lesbo.
Oh, how the stakes had risen.
Glancing at her, I saw her expression was more reserved than usual. Wary. Was Jess probing me? Looking for flashes of January or Blossom? I didn’t know, but I knew she wanted an honest answer.
I mulled it quietly for a minute, strapping on half of her utility belt with my phone and a multitool in it.
“I do,” I said. “But not right now. Mom didn’t take my... Coming out so well. I’d want to call ahead for this.”
Jess gave me a look that I translated as “You’re just putting off how you don’t want to call ahead to tell her that her daughter is dead and a stranger pony is in her place.”
I didn’t comment, instead indicating down with my head and diving from the cloud.
“Okay...” I muttered. “You absorb enough detective fiction. Get your Sherlock on, girl.”
We found Rhea’s apartment easily enough. Second floor, away from the parking lot and in the back, just like Carlisle had described. A rusted “27” hung on nails on the apartment’s door.
I looked around. Details were going to be the things that spoke here. What could they tell me?
I didn’t see any police tape, nor did I see any sign that anyone had been there recently.
“Wrought iron going to rust, but still sturdy...” I said softly. “Leaves and debris, water damage on siding... Concrete steps on both sides...”
“New locks,” Jess pointed out.
I turned to the deadbolt on 27 and it shone where the handle didn’t. I couldn’t see any patch job on the frame so...
“She lost her key recently or they’ve evicted her already. I’m leaning toward the former since I don’t see picked apart furniture or a dumpster with fresh things.
“Nobody’s done a missing person’s either...” I continued. “There’d be tape. More signs of police.”
“So what next?” Jess asked.
“We knock,” I said, smiling.
She cocked her head at me.
I went to the door and knocked my forehoof against it.
“Rhea? Hello? Hi, I’m Blossom Jane! Fellow pony! Look, a friend of yours, Carlisle, was looking for you so if you could, I dunno, shout through the door or something? We just wanna make sure you’re okay!”
Silence.
“Rhea?” I raised my voice.
“No answer,” Jess said, her ear flicking.
I nodded. Looked around again. C’mon, c’mon... Ah. Duh.
“Hey, remember how we were all thumbs with our hooves at first?”
Jess cocked her head again and I flapped so I was at door handle height. Reaching my neck out, I bit down and twisted. The door opened easily.
“That’s good,” Jess said, dread coloring her voice.
“New deadbolt that wasn’t turned, and now we’re at the cusp of criminal trespass,” I grumbled, drolly.
“Rhea? Hello?” I called out, sticking just my head in the apartment.
Jess flapped over me to land in the living room. She looked over her shoulder, expression a bit smug. I sighed.
“Um. Didn’t you hear me say ‘criminal trespass?’” I said.
“Yes. I also heard you tell Carlisle you’d check up on Rhea.”
“To see if she was home, file a missing person’s... What if she’s at work?”
“Then we’ll see signs of it rather than the shattered glass in the kitchen I’m looking at.”
I scrunched my face, my intrigue overriding my urge to follow a law I was already uncertain of given the circumstances. Intrigue won out, so with a worried grin I came into the apartment, softly kicking the door shut behind me.
It was small and not made for company.
One bedroom, one bathroom and a living room that was only separated from the kitchen by a partition. Wall scrolls and posters of dour and contemplative-looking characters were the prime decoration. So were a few dashing dude figurines and Friendship is Magic fan made posters with most depictions being of Luna. Beyond that, pretty spartan.
What looked like a third-hand couch in the living room across from an okay TV. Kitchen was supplied by Wal-mart from what I saw. Bathroom looked more like my parents’ guest bathroom than something personal. Bed was big enough for one with a dresser nearby. If not for all the geeky and brightly colored wall hangings, I’d have thought we’d entered a military cookie-cutter apartment that hadn’t seen a dusting or vacuuming in recent times.
“Someone left messy,” Jess commented from the bedroom.
A pile of clothes that looked like they’d been yanked from the hangers rather than taken off normally were bunched on the bottom. An empty space toward the back most likely was a knapsack or small carry-on.
“What do you see?” I asked, still looking around.
“Geek,” Jess said. “She’s got a thing for Luna.”
“She’s got a thing for the socially awkward ones,” I said. I recognized one of the girls on a wall scroll in the living room as Hinata from Naruto- an anime series I only half knew about thanks to fan osmosis and Tumblr.
“And dashing men,” I added noting the penchant for figurines of smiling rogues in suits. “What else?”
“Are you doing that Sherlock thing where you test me because you already know?” Jess said, her voice pinching in annoyance.
“I’m doing that me thing where I check with you because I’m too busy thinking about the girl and who she is rather than looking for indications that she hello!”
“What?” Jess asked.
“Did Rhea have silky, blue hair in that picture Carlisle showed us?” I asked flapping over to the bed.
Jess came out of the closet. “No, why?”
Lifted my hoof and draped across was a shed mane hair.
“The broken glass, the way everything’s sort of strewn about, the state of the bathroom...”
“The purse dump,” Jess said.
I raised an eyebrow.
Rolling her eyes, Jess said, “Those of us who don’t just get jackets with pockets and actually use purses know what happens when they get upended.” She indicated a trail near the bedroom door I had taken as part of the apartment’s mess. It was tissues, pens, some gum- Oh. Duh.
“Upended purse stuff,” I agreed. “Like... If she slung it on automatically and it started dragging and dumped?”
Jess nodded, liking my assessment.
“Well, I may be going out on the limb, but couple all that with my smoking hair here and I’d say... Pony,” I said.
Jess rolled her eyes. “Good catch, Sherlock. Whatever would we do without you?” ~ Before we left the apartment, we also found hoofprints around the doorknob, which, on top of the hair, really drove home what had happened.
“Why all this trouble?” Jess asked as we flew back to Suzy.
“She didn’t have support,” I responded.
Jess looked at me as we settled on Suzy and I pulled up the iPad.
“You saw all the evidence we needed for pony as well as her habits, right?”
Jess nodded. One of my favorite things about her was how brutally intelligent she was. She’d introduced me to Locked Room games and while I was good at spotting the weird things, Jess was dynamite at actually figuring out the puzzles.
“Well, I saw the girl,” I said. “Did you?”
“Geek, kinda lonely. Didn’t look like she had a lot of friends over.”
“She didn’t have any friends over,” I replied, tapping out my message to Carlisle.
I could feel Jess looking the question into the back of my head.
“Tiny space, third-hand furniture, nicest thing in there was the TV and DVD player and all the characters that weren’t dude candy were socially awkward in one way or another. That’s a lot of isolation and empathy. There was a pony fan in that apartment, but there was also a nerd girl who didn’t call anyone for a day nor make a post about turning into a pony online. Either through her own inability to work her body or, my guess, crippling social fears.”
“And you know about those?” Jess said.
I stopped typing and looked up. “Yeah. My roommate before you. I hid in my room whenever she was around. I didn’t go out, I didn’t invite people over because I was ashamed of the mess she left. Rhea didn’t have the roommate, clearly, but I’d bet my blood feathers that space was for her and her alone to hold off the big wide world.”
Jess looked at me and turned away. Her face looked pained.
“I’m letting Carlisle know that we’re ninety-percent certain she’s gone pony and is on the run. I’m asking if she had any haunts or anyone he thinks she’d go to.”
Jess nodded, moving to the side of the cloud and plopping down. I put the iPad away.
“I’m going to want to check in with the police if we can’t find her at a bus stop or something,” I said, going across the cloud to her.
“Sounds good.” The life was out of her voice again. Now that she wasn’t focusing on Rhea, she was back to wherever she’d been this morning.
I sat next to her, put a wing around her.
“Thank you,” she said. “For being kind. Like she was.”
I didn’t say anything. Tightening my wing’s grip around her, I waited for Carlisle to respond and give us something else to focus on.
Discoveries, Bureaucratic Hurdles and a Swearing Wonder Woman Cosplayer
Carlisle was a concerned friend, but he wasn’t that informed. When I messaged him to find out any places that Rhea went to relax or unwind that wasn’t her home, the best he had was one of Tulsa’s many parks. That was something I remembered from my last visit to my parents: Tulsa was big on public parks. Rhea had apparently taken a liking to the Johnson one.
It was barely a few miles away by flight. We didn’t even have to leave Suzy to see she wasn’t there. One pony was walking with a person, but he had the wrong mane color.
“Great,” Jess said, flopping on the cloud to stare at the sky.
I frowned at the park. This was the problem with online friends. Unless the person on the other side of the keyboard was forthcoming, it was hard to get a sense of where they lived. Soul-sharing moments happened and iron clad connections could be formed, but an idea of what one region was like compared to another? Forget it. The information we needed was for the locals and even the people nearby knew Rhea mostly through IM chats.
We needed a new direction. I closed my eyes.
“Going into your mind palace?” Jess asked.
“Just... Thinking,” I said, only a bit testily.
My name’s Rhea. I’m scared, I’m a new pony and even if I know about what’s going on, I don’t have anyone I can reach out to because my hooves don’t type. So why did I leave my apartment...?
“Why did she leave her apartment?” I said aloud.
“Because... Hm. She was scared?” Jess said, her voice aimed skyward.
“Well, yes. But that little one bed, one bath, super cramped thing, should have kept her in place. Maybe not answer the phone or barely be able to get online, but she wasn’t one to wander. Instead, she packs a some essentials, takes her laptop and phone and... Why?”
“Laptop?” Jess asked.
“Wireless router next to the TV is just for her phone? Doubtful. Laptop’s more likely.”
Jess made a humph-ing noise.
“C’mon, Rhea... Why?”
What would Blossomforth and January have- Well they wouldn’t have done anything because they...
“A-ha!” I said.
“What’s up?” Jess asked, sitting up.
“Her pony talked her into leaving. Best bet? Leaving for NY. She couldn’t get online and now she had this friend in her head cheering her on to the biggest collection of Equestria on Earth. That’d get me out of the house.
“Still... She couldn’t drive in her state, so she’d have walked. Now we just have to find the nearest form of transit...”
I opened up the iPad and found the park’s wifi. Everything had wifi these days.
After some login shenanigans, I started Googling around for bus stops, shuttles, taxicab-
“No,” I said to myself, thinking out loud. “She wouldn’t do taxi. Too expensive. Bus maybe. Plane perhaps...”
Jess had risen to look over my shoulder now, to see what I was tapping out.
“And we look, look, look and YES. Bus route! Nearby!” Smiling at Jess I stowed the iPad in my backpack and flapped over, securing the cloud line to Suzy. “Let’s go, Jess! The game is ON!”
Hitching next to me, we winged our way to the bus stop nearby the apartment complex.
“What do you think you’re going to find at the bus stop?” Jess asked.
“Something. Anything!” I crowed, nerves and excitement spinning around inside me making my heart race.
We came on the stop quickly, and I dove from Suzy to the ground, a white, pink and green rocket. It surprised the hell out of two teenagers milling at the stop when I landed in a whumph of dirt.
“Hi, don’t mind me,” I said in a variation of January’s cheerful, I-know-what-I’m-doing voice. “Talking pony with wings on official talking pony with wings business.”
They blinked warily at me and one nodded while the other simply stared.
As I looked around the stop, Jess touched down next to me with significantly less force. She made a weak, chuckling noise which I guessed was an attempt at placating the guys further.
“Couldn’t have hoofed it, wouldn’t have walked it, woul- Yes! Again! The day of lucky breaks is today!”
Jess came over to me and I pointed at some hoofprints around the garbage can that disappeared onto the sidewalk.
“And how do we know that’s her?” Jess asked. “She may not be the only pony on public transit in Tulsa.”
“It fits the facts thus far, tenuous as they are and-” I blanched.
“What?”
Jess was good at puzzles. I was good at spotting things. Both as January and Blossomforth. I may not have been good at putting it together, but I noticed the bent cuff, the dirt on a shoe, when someone kept glancing to a certain spot. Some details just stuck out to me.
Details like a travelbag with a button for Luna’s Night Guard pinned on. Most everyone would have passed the line of bushes between the QuikTrip and the bus stop and not given the shadows beneath a second glance, but I did. Rolled under the bush so it was just out of sight, was that travelbag. Rhea’s travelbag. ~ “Lucky break,” I said, back at Suzy. Rhea’s travelbag was in my lap.
“Yeah,” Jess commented. “How long before someone would have gone- nice bag, wonder if I need to call the cops?”
The bag had clearly been tossed, which didn’t make me feel better. Images of someone rolling up, grabbing Rhea and throwing her bag out of sight filled my mind. My stomach clenched in response.
“Speaking of, I think this is police territory,” Jess said. “We have a missing pony now. Plenty of stuff to point that out.”
I didn’t even realize I had been stroking the bag with my hoof. Almost as if I was trying to reassure myself that Rhea was okay. Everything was fine. She’d just dropped it and the bus had taken off before she could pick it up again.
“Janu- Hrm. Blossom? Are you okay?”
“I screwed up,” I said softly.
Silence came for a stretch. Then, I heard a sigh from behind me and some soft hoofsteps toward me through the cloud. Jess sat down next to me. I kept looking at the bag.
“I said I’d find her,” I whispered, finally.
“You said you’d try.”
“But I had promised myself, I’d find her. Tell Carlisle everything was okay. And now... Now it is very far from okay.”
She hesitated for a half-second, but she did lean against me, covering me with a wing.
“We’re doing our best here...” she murmured softly, supportive.
I blinked.
“No, we’re not,” I replied, straightening up.
Biting down on the zipper, I pulled it open and found the bag’s contents. Thick-looking t-shirt, laptop, power adapters, toothbrush and some toiletries. The laptop was clearly bad off. Further evidence that the bag had been tossed.
“Come on, come on,” I muttered looking through the contents. “Come on... I hate giving people bad news when I can help it.”
“Blossom...” Jess murmured behind me.
“There’s gotta be something here...” I grumbled, picking up the cracked screen laptop and turning it around in my hooves.
“Blos-som...”
“Something!”
“BLOSSOM!”
I turned. On the end of her hoof, Jess held an identification tag connected to the bag. She held back a flap and underneath that flap read: If found, please call Rhea at...
And there was her phone number. Her phone number, which would likely be her cell because I hadn’t seen any hardline hookups in the apartment. Her phone number, which would be her cell in her purse. Her phone number, which would be her cell, in her purse, with her.
I grinned.
“Stars, I love you, Firefly,” I said.
Jess’s expression clouded and she coughed, but a weak smile blossomed. We had a lead. ~ Everypony should be lucky enough to call on Wonder Woman when they were in a pinch. Even if the Wonder Woman in question was just a cosplayer and a cop, it was reassuring to be able to put in that call.
“In a bush?” Diana’s voice said.
“Yep,” I answered. “Laptop’s trashed, got what I’d think are some favorite clothes and toiletries in here. Plus a phone charger without a phone.”
Diana swore impressively.
“I like her,” I told Jess, who snorted, almost generating a smile.
“Okay. Carlisle gave me a number that matches what’s on the bag. Gimme a few minutes.”
The line went quiet as I was put on hold.
“What do you think?” I asked.
“She’ll call in support, maybe a favor,” Jess answered, her tone a little detached. “We’ll get asked questions on the back end.”
“Ugh,” I said, making a face. “If only we were the Doctor. Leave the paperwork to someone else, eh?”
Jess blinked at me for a few seconds before turning away, brow furrowed.
I took a breath and tried to compose myself so I didn’t feel as stung by the act as I was.
Stars, I felt helpless. Like I wasn’t doing enough. Not that I knew what to do. I kept trying to comfort her, but that just seemed to make her stiff or confused. I missed my instincts, which had changed from mystical force to oddly sensible part of my thought process. So, I did what I thought was sensible and lay a comforting hoof on Jess’s shoulder.
She looked at it, then me and almost smiled. Almost.
“Got an area,” Diana said, bringing my attention back to the phone. “Not too far. Maybe twenty, twenty five miles from where you are.”
“So what do you need from us?”
“You’ve done more than enough. Let me see if I can call through some channels and I’ll-”
“I’ll wait on the line,” I butted in.
Silence.
“Really?” Diana said.
“Life’s a cloud for me,” I said. “I can wait.”
She exhaled a breath that could have been construed as a laugh. “Alright. Hang on. This isn’t going to be quick.”
“I have the minutes, go for it.”
And again the dull silence of not-a-disconnect, but no hold music. I set my phone to speaker and set it down on the fluffy cloud with a bit of pegasus magic to ensure it wouldn’t fall through.
Jess had gotten out from under my hoof during the phone call to wander to one side of Suzy. She had let her wings droop while she stared out into the landscape of Oklahoma. Admittedly, it wasn’t much to stare at, but she stared.
I went over to her, plopping down.
“How you holding up?” I asked.
“I want to lay down and cry and never get up again,” she said. She didn’t look at me, didn’t even seem to emote. Her voice sounded like how she looked: spent, hollow, like her entire being was a cave and only occasional words and emotion were being thrown out.
I took a steadying breath. Licked my lips.
“Can I help?” I asked, my voice softer now.
“Can you bring back the woman I love?”
My eyes closed and I turned slightly from her.
I wished I could. I wished I could undo it, make Blossomforth and January separate again. I wished I could be that mare she needed again. I wished a lot of things as I held the tears at bay. None of them would give Jess the comfort she needed.
She saw the mare she loved as dead. I could tell her all day that I was still January in many ways, but it wouldn’t be enough. She needed me as January in every way. That’s who she loved.
Though the merge had intended to bring harmony to Blossomforth and January, I was starting to think the magic was bunk because it was only bringing disharmony to my relationship with Jess.
“I’m here if you need me,” I said finally, opening my eyes and draping a wing.
Jess pushed the wing off and went to another side of the cloud.
I blinked a few times and went over to her, only to have her repeat the process and as I was about to try a third time, she shot me a glare that could have set my mane and tail on fire.
“Don’t. I want to be alone.” She looked down. “Or as alone as I can get.”
I backed off.
Moving to the other side of the cloud, I powered up my laptop and started scrolling through Tumblr. Blind.
It felt like there was a balloon in my chest. It felt like it should burst. It should burst and let me cry and bleed and vent all this pain that was backing up in me. It should have. It wasn’t.
I can’t remember why I didn’t outright cry at what was going on. Maybe I wanted to stay strong for Jess, January and Blossomforth both had a history of doing that. Maybe I still held hope that she would come around and see that my love for her remained unchanged. Maybe I was too absorbed with Rhea. Maybe a lot of things.
I do know that I just felt lost. So, I sniffed, and tapped at scrolling keys with able wings. Jess sat on the other side of the cloud, ignoring me. Perfect team, we were.
Diana came back on the speaker swearing even more impressively than before.
Knocked from my morose thoughts, I picked up the phone with a tired laugh.
“I don’t think that’s physically possible, Diana,” I said, my voice a bit rough.
“Doesn’t matter. They can’t move!”
“Who can’t?”
“There’s an incident right now, something big and they pulled all available departments. Earliest will be tomorrow! Arrgh!” She added some colorful words about budget cuts and two-faced politicians. I kind of wanted her to keep going because I was learning so much, but Rhea was priority.
“So... What can we do?” I asked.
“Nothing,” Diana spat. “I’ve made the file, the fact it’s getting looked at tomorrow is a big favor actually. Goddamn bureaucracy. The one time-”
“So. Diana. What can Jess and I do?”
The line went quiet.
“Nothing,” Diana said stiffly. “You’re civilians.”
“You can’t... Deputize us or anything?”
“Not my jurisdiction. I couldn’t deputize you to be dog walkers right now.”
I took a breath, looked at Jess who’s only indication she was listening was a swivelled ear, and closed my eyes.
“Well, we’re going to stay in Tulsa, keep looking. Maybe we can get a uniform if we stumble across something.”
Again, the line was quiet.
“That’s diligent of you.”
“She’s a fellow fan,” I said. “And now a pony. We gotta look out for each other.” I opened my eyes. “I know you can’t tell me where the phone trace is- the investigation is ongoing after all.”
“Of course,” Diana said, her voice rising carefully.
“I’ll be in touch with Carlisle in case anything changes on your end.”
“That’s helpful.”
“Thank you for all your help, Detective.”
“I should be thanking you,” she said, her voice genuinely warm.
We said our goodbyes and I waited, phone balanced on my hoof.
It took a few minutes, but Jess turned to regard me. “What are you doing?” she asked.
“Waiting for the location of-”
My phone’s text alert went off and I pulled up a number that I figured was either Carlisle’s or someone who Diana just ran into.
I smiled at the address.
“I really owe Diana a hoofbump,” I said with a smile.
I stared at the abandoned strip mall. It was about what you’d expect. Grass grew through the cracked pavement, and a few light posts were knocked over. The windows and doors were all haphazardly boarded over with plywood and particleboard. A for-real tumbleweed danced lazily around the parking lot in the wind.
“This has got to be a henchman level bad guy,” I said from my vantage point in the cloudline. “Top tier bad guys are in posh hotels and sweet castles. Henchmen level bad guys always go to abandoned whatever sites and seedy motels.”
We parked Suzy about a mile away with a sign that read, “This cloud already claimed by Blossom Jane and Cloud Kicker. Sign the guestbook if you drop by.”
Jess had given me a sour look at the joke, which I responded to with a crooked smile. Since getting the address from Diana, my heart had gone into my throat and was beating pretty intensely. A bit from hope, mostly from the stress of what we were about to do. When I got stressed in the past, I had a few coping mechanisms, but it appeared I’d mostly taken January’s habit of making bad jokes in dire times.
My comment on the location earned another slight glare from Jess.
“You have a plan?” she asked, bringing us back to the task at hoof.
I nodded. “Recon,” I said, encompassing the place with my hoof. “Look for points of entry, sneak in, locate pony, get pony out, fly like hell.”
“How about resistance?”
I chewed on my lip, thinking through everything I’d seen. It was harder than I liked. I kept going to this sound in my head that sounded like, “Nononononono...” and the fact that I really needed to go to the bathroom. The mention of “resistance” showed that as much as my heart hammered, it could go faster.
“Um. Deal with it on a case by case basis?” I said.
Jess rolled her eyes and glared through the thin cloud cover. That had been her idea. Putting a full hole in a cloud with pegasus heads poking through occasionally would probably unnerve whoever had Rhea and make them do something drastic. So, we merely thinned the cloud enough that we could see and anyone thinking to look up would just see indistinct shadows.
“Pick-up truck,” she said.
I followed the wing she pointed with and yup, there was a blue pick-up that looked like it needed a wash and a new coat of paint.
“One, two at most,” I said, my voice sounding distant in my ears.
Jess nodded in agreement.
“Here’s the new plan,” she said. “Your recon idea is good, but you’re not accounting for resistance, which means we need more recon. We’re almost totally blind here.”
She tapped a hoof to her chin.
“I’m taking over this.”
“What? Why?” I said.
“You’re good at spotting things and intuitive leaps. I’m good at figuring things out and planning. Cloud’s good at strategy and tactics. I have the better skill set here.” Jess looked at me. “We treat this military. I’m lead, you’re back up.”
I briefly, very briefly thought of protesting, but I was barely keeping myself together. I knew when I was vastly out of my element.
I nodded. My heart eased back a few miles per hour.
Jess smiled. It was... Different from her usual smile. More Cloud-like. Yet, I could still see Jess was in charge. Weird.
“We go in quiet,” she said. “No nervous mouth. Can you give me silence?”
I nodded.
“Good.” She looked through the cloud and indicated a spot with her hoof. “We’ll fly in over there. Follow my lead and even if there’s an opening, nopony will see us clearly with the angle I have in mind.”
I nodded again.
Jess looked at me carefully, up and down. “You with me on this? You’re not gonna spaz?”
I looked down at the strip mall. I thought about Rhea.
I turned my gaze to Jess and dipped my head affirmatively. Once.
She liked what she saw and gestured with her head. She dropped through the cloud and I followed close behind, copying her wing beats and descent angle. We landed in brush right up against the building and squatted down. Jess moved quieter than I’d have thought possible on hooves and checked around the corner. She nodded and beckoned me along.
We flew low, almost scraping our knees along the ground, but it kept us quiet.
We located the entry point pretty quick.
Definitely henchman. Big bad guys don’t park their cars in front of boards that have been obviously popped loose by the crowbar laying on the ground. To the henchman’s credit, the board was propped against the wall so that from a distance, it didn’t look that different from the rest of the strip mall’s blocked up windows and such. Up close, though, you could see how it leaned.
Jess examined it and gestured me to the top of the board. I caught her meaning and flapped up. Easing the board back on its pivot point, I let Jess fly in, silent as an owl. Once she was through, I flapped over the board, holding it steady with my hoof. Once I’d crossed over, I gave a little tug and it started tipping back to follow me. I felt Jess’s hoof as she caught the wood and helped me ease it close.
We were in.
The interior was empty shelves, dust-covered desks and bits of paper everywhere. Shafts of light poked through the boards and we could make out the outline of doorways and such. It smelled of time and dirt and heat.
I wanted to throw up so badly.
Glancing at Jess in the semi-dark, I saw her face was impassive, searching. How was she staying so calm? Maybe Cloud was actually working with her? Luna, I hoped so. We needed all the help we could get.
She landed and crept along. I mimicked her movements with only a little more sound. I saw why she’d gone on hoof. Our flapping had disturbed some of the dust and strewn papers. Couldn’t do that if we wanted to stay all stealthy.
Wow, did I want to throw up.
Jess sniffed at the air, which I did as well and I... Oh. Hey.
There was another pony in here. And- *sniff* -somebody else too. Just the one. Oh thank Luna, Celestia and all the stars in the sky.
We moved quietly, following our noses until we came around a corner and noticed a dull light that didn’t match the scant outside light we’d had before. We followed the glow and in a room almost in the middle of the abandoned strip mall, we found them.
A unicorn with a light blue coat and a dark blue mane sat on a dirty, twin mattress in the corner. Her fur was going in a few directions and she looked like she could use a bath. The light didn’t reach far enough so I could see her cutie mark. I could see her gold eyes though. They were cast down and looked dull.
Across from her and sitting on an overturned plastic drum was her kidnapper. He looked about average human height, wearing blue jeans, combat boots and a blue shirt with a graphic I couldn’t see from where I crouched next to Jess. He was thick across the shoulders and had his arms folded as he leaned back, staring hard at the pony I assumed was Rhea. His hair was cropped close to his head and brown.
“Break’s over,” he said, standing up.
The pony flinched when he rose.
My hammering, fear-fueled heart suddenly slowed as ice entered my veins. I narrowed my eyes and my breathing got steadier.
This didn’t go unnoticed by Jess, who motioned me to crouch lower.
The guy walked over to the pony and slammed a can of what looked like beans on the ground.
“Two feet, fifteen minutes. Do it.”
The pony shuddered, nodded.
Her horn lit with a white-blue aura that soon wrapped around the tin can. She grunted and the can lifted up, floating wobbily. When it reached what I guessed was two feet in the air, it held.
The pony stared at the can. She was focused intently, desperately. She swallowed like the act was the worst distraction in the world.
The man stood resolute, patient. I could smell the anger coming off him though.
The wait was agonizing. I wanted to go in, tackle him and swoop up that pony in one motion. Jess had a hoof on my back though, anticipating my boiling anger.
The can wobbled after a bit, tipped and dropped from the unicorn’s magical grip. She gasped, breathing hard.
The man was shaking.
“Four? Four minutes! We’ve been at this a day and that’s the best you’ve got?!”
He reeled back and backhanded her across the muzzle. The noise was like a cracked whip and if Jess hadn’t bodily got atop me, I would have rushed in, ready to clobber the bum.
The pony, who had to be Rhea, she just had to, coughed.
“I’m- I’m sorry. I’m still new. I can- I only can hold things-”
“Shut up, shut up, shut up!” he roared.
He turned and through Jess’s mane, which was all in my face with her on top of me, I saw his shirt. Stenciled in bright yellow letters was: P.A.P.A.
People Against Ponies Association.
Shit.
I pointed at the shirt and Jess nodded. She understood. We’d talked about them when preparing Suzy. Unfortunately, we hadn’t talked about this particular situation.
“You’re going to do it again,” the man said in a hard, firm voice. “And you’re going to do it right. Or I will kill you and go find some other little magic freak.”
Rhea nodded. It had to be Rhea. Blue mane hair and I noticed a purse in the corner of the room with a Luna pin reflecting the light. The light, which I finally noticed was from a big, electric camping lamp.
Her horn lit again and the PAPA man turned to focus on her efforts as much as Rhea.
Jess tapped my shoulder and gave me a look that translated as, “You’re not going to lose it now, are you?”
I nodded my calmness and she got off me.
She swept her gaze quickly around the space and pointed to an empty archway on the other side of the room. It was actually kind of close to Rhea. She then pointed at me, then made a curving sweep with her hoof.
I nodded my understanding: she wanted me to go around to that portal.
She then pointed from herself to the PAPA man. She tapped a hoof against her head and made googily eyes at me. If it wasn’t so direly serious, I would have laughed at the expression.
I nodded again, mouthing, “You first?”
She nodded this time. I got the plan then. She was going to tackle and bean the guy, and I was going to swoop in and get Rhea out of there. Simple.
I looked at her and I couldn’t hold it in any more. I hugged her. Desperately and with the implication of good luck, I hugged her. She was stiff for a moment, then reached up her forelegs to clutch me close.
Once we separated, I nodded intensely and circled around the rooms, keeping the electric lamp out of the corner of my eye. I reoriented on the passage Jess had wanted me at and settled in close.
Peaking around the corner, I could make out the PAPA man clearer. He was in his late twenties and his nose looked like it had been broken before. His eyes were hard little coals in the dim light from the lamp.
I saw Jess waiting across the room, which gave her a direct line to the PAPA man. She held up a wing with five feathers.
I nodded my understanding and readied myself.
She ticked down to four feathers.
I wiggled my rump, ready to hop, skip and jump right through here and get Rhea.
Three feathers.
Focus on your goal. Aim for her center of mass and kind of... Swoop up on the way out. I hoped she wasn’t heavy.
Two feathers.
I licked my lips and took more deep, steadying breaths. I needed all the oxygen I could get.
One feather.
My heart had finally settled and I was locked entirely on Rhea.
Go.
“RAAAAAAAH!” Jess yelled, causing the PAPA man to turn as I took off in a flight sprint, grabbing Rhea around her trunk and rocketing out the other door.
I heard rather than saw the noise of Jess’s hoof colliding with the guy’s head and a noise like a strangled cough before he hit the ground. I was already hauling tail through the abandoned rooms, Rhea gasping in my grip.
“It’s okay! Carlisle sent us!” I yelled.
I glanced back to check and there was Jess, flapping hard and easily catching me up.
“Go!” she commanded. “Go go go go go!”
“Help!” I yelled back.
She got under Rhea’s other side and my listing speed improved as we rocketed through the rooms to the front door.
“Just a little farther...” I said through gritted teeth.
Then there was the gunshot.
All of a sudden, we dragged on my side and tumbled in a heap on the dirty, carpet floor just in front of the board. I lay upside down and felt when my back hoof knocked on the wood and tipped the board open. Light poured in and I became aware that my left hindleg hurt. A lot.
I then realized the truth. I’d been shot.
It Wasn't A Plan As Much As It Was Me Being Unable To Shut Up
I lay on the ground, watching as the PAPA man advanced, upside down from my perspective, a handgun leveled at us. Dazed as I was, I could tell that he at least knew what he was doing with it.
The word “index” floated up out of my addled brain. Oh yeah. I read a lot of Greg Rucka and he’s really good about responsible gun use. I learned the phrase “index your firearm” from him. That’s what the guy was doing, indexing his firearm. That meant intent.
“Don’t. Fucking. Move,” he said.
“Okay,” I said, my voice a bit silly. Maybe I had been knocked loopier than I thought.
He glanced out the door.
“Any more?” he said.
“Yeah. Tons. Whole army of ponies,” I said from the floor. So much for no-miss-nervous mouth.
He glared at me.
“We’re it,” I said with a sigh.
“Get up.” There wasn’t room for arguing.
We all rolled over and I winced. Looking back, a sigh of relief escaped me. The pain was hot and insistent, but it was also a graze. A line of blood that put me more in mind of an extreme rugburn than a gunshot welled up.
“Oh sweet, only grazed,” I said.
“The next one won’t be. Move.”
I don’t know if you’ve ever had a gun pointed at you. I hadn’t. I had seen guns, held them, used them on targets to “get an appreciation” for them. My human grandfather was a member of the NRA. Guns were nothing new in my life. That didn’t change the fact that I didn’t like them. Either as a human or pony. Guns were for certain individuals. I was not one of those individuals.
So having one pointed at me was a bit of a surreal experience. Though I should have been, I wasn’t afraid. Though I should have, I didn’t regard the weapon pointed at me gravely. Though I should have, I didn’t recoil inwardly and realize my mortality. Instead, I felt... Put out.
All I felt was this sort of vague sensation like, “Really? This is my day now?”
I definitely had gotten knocked sillier than I thought.
“Give us a second, pal,” my smart-aleck mouth said. “I got shot and flying with your kidnapee was no flight in the park.”
He pulled the trigger slightly, which moved the hammer back just as slightly.
“Stop. Talking,” Jess hissed from behind me.
“No, don’t think I will,” I said.
“I only need her,” he said.
“For what?”
The hammer paused.
“Well, you’re clearly going to shoot someone again. It’ll probably be me since I’m all loopy and my mouth’s just running,” I said, getting my weight off my hind leg. The wound may have been a graze, and I wasn’t feeling it, yet, but I didn’t want to strain my leg any more than I had to. “So why not tell a dead girl something that’ll impress her. You clearly need some unicorn magic. But I’m all dumb and pony like. Fill a moron in.”
He eased off the trigger, but still held it at ready. I could see the grooves on the barrel. There’s a view I could have done without for my entire life.
“I’m going to get them all,” he said.
“What are you gonna get who?”
He smiled, it wasn’t nice.
“Ah. Gift basket of death. Gotcha. I’m Jane by the way,” I said. “Used to be a regular girl till this mess. How about you?”
“Carter,” he said, which seemed to surprise everyone, including him. Blinking through his confusion he refocused and added, “Member of the People Against Ponies Association.”
“Hey Carter, nice to meet you. Circumstances suck, but I can tell you know how to handle your firearm.”
I pointed to Jess. “This is Jess, just so you know and I don’t think you got her name, but this is Rhea.”
The blue unicorn blinked at me. Then understanding lit on her. I’d said Carlisle’s name. Of course I would know hers.
He frowned. Names were good. Names made us human, which he didn’t need. He needed us as random beasty ponies.
The tilted, jabber-mouthed feeling was passing me and the plan my goofy brain had started in on was taking shape.
Carter’s gun lowered slightly.
“So, now that we all know each other,” I said, hobbling a bit forward. “Why don’t you lead us back? I mean, you have the gun and all.”
That got him back on point. Focusing the weapon on me, he twitched his head and we followed.
Jess gave me a look that begged what the hell did I think I was doing. I just smiled like an idiot. I heard Rhea whimper.
Back in the room with the nasty mattress, he had us all get on it. I relearned a smell I had not smelled since I was a foal: a wetted bed.
“So,” I said, smiling and leaning so my injured leg was up and away from the pee bed. “Is this your big plan?”
“Stop talking,” he said.
“I can, but then you wouldn’t know, would you?” I said, cocking my head and smiling blithely.
“Know what?”
“Uh uh, Carter. I was just a regular Georgia gal before I was a pony, but I wasn’t a dummy. I tell you what I know and you shoot me, which we both don’t want. It’s a mess to clean up and it’ll freak out your unicorn and then more cleaning up and you have to go find a new unicorn and start all over again. Hassle, hassle, hassle. So, how about this? You tell lil ol me what you know and I’ll tell you what I know. Deal?”
He stared at me. I could tell I’d already spun him around a little. I knew I felt spun myself. My heart was back in my throat and that “Nononononono...” noise was back in my head.
“What do you know?”
“Pony stuff. Plans about why they’re here, what they do. See, I’m not a fan, Carter. I was just doing my job and then I woke up like this. Think I wanted this? Think I needed this? I don’t think you needed this.”
His face twisted in disgusted agreement. “Just more freaks in the world.”
“Damn skippy,” I said, pointing at him encouragingly. The act also was to get a little of the shakes out of my hoof. “It’s already crowded enough. So what were you doing with Rhea here? I mean, you don’t like us, which I get, so what’s the plan?”
He looked at me, his gun, which was at relaxed ready, and back to me. I wasn’t smiling, just looking at him earnestly.
“I got a thing. From a guy,” he said. “Says if I get one of the ponies to use their magic, it’ll take me to all of them.”
He raised his gun and his not nice smile. “That’s where I want to go.”
I nodded. “Good plan, Carter, good plan, but why a unicorn?”
“They’re the ones with the magic. Duh,” he replied.
“I’ve magic. I’ve been doing this for a while too. I might be able to help.”
He looked at me. I could hear Rhea shaking behind me, then it lessened when Jess disappeared from my periphery and I heard the rustle of a wing. She was probably comforting her. I wish I was so lucky, but I was the genius who had started talking to the person with the gun.
He came to a decision and leaned over a bag near the overturned plastic drum. He pulled out a stone. It was flat and square and just about fit in his hand. It was covered in odd runes that I couldn’t make out from where I was.
I whistled when Carter brought it over to me as the runes came into focus.
“Nice stuff,” I said. “Where’d you get it?”
“Guy,” Carter said. “Said he came from higher up. Said he liked my initiative.”
“Guy, huh?” I said, examining the stone tablet. “What kind of guy?”
“Business. Blond hair, blue eyes. Kinda dull-looking,” he responded. “Wore glasses. What’s it to you?”
“All kinds of freaky out there because of the ponies, Carter. Gotta make sure things are on the up and up. He say anything specific?”
“Yeah. This’ll take me ‘right to their people.’ They put their magic on it and right to their people. He kept saying that over and over. So, I took it. Loaded up the truck and went looking for one of them ponies. Only I get one that can’t use magic!”
Rhea whimpered behind me. My bland face ticked and I tried to focus on the stone.
“May I?” I asked.
He leveled the gun at me. The barrel was even bigger this close.
“Nothing funny,” he ordered.
“I’m a lousy comedian,” I confirmed with a smile and took the stone.
As I looked at it, I realized I recognized the markings. It had been a long, long time ago, but my memory pulled it up.
I grinned. “Oh yeah. I can do this.”
“Yeah?” Carter said.
It wasn’t hard. I pushed some of the pegasus magic that I used to keep our stuff on top of Suzy into the stone. The runes and script lit up light blue in response and a hum entered the room.
“All set,” I said, as the hum turned to a whine.
“Bitchin’. Give it here.”
“Ah, no, Carter.”
“NO?!” he roared, bringing the weapon up.
I put the glowing stone between that barrel and me.
“Think about that, Carter.”
“You tricky dirty-”
“Now, watch your language, Carter,” I said as light started pouring forth from the stone. “I’m just a character from a little girl’s show after all.”
There was a sound like roaring wind and light enveloped everyone in the room. ~ As the spots cleared, I could hear loud music, cheering and then lots of “What the-?” noises.
The first thing I saw was a pair of men in pretty impressive shape wearing naught but speedos, cowboy boots and cowboy hats holding a banner that read: Happy Halloween San Francisco!
I grinned. “Oh this is great!” I crowed.
I turned and there were Jess and Rhea, both looking around, both looking really confused.
If they were confused, Carter was flat out dumbfounded, his gun dangling in his hand as his head whipped around the area trying to make sense of what happened.
“Carter! Carter, Carter, Carter. Didn’t your mom ever teach you not to take strange artifacts from strange men?” I lifted the stone tablet up, balancing it on my hoof. I flapped so I was a little over Carter’s eyeline. “Because you don’t get much stranger than Owen Burnett.”
That broke his reverie. “How did-”
“Who you described was, to the T, a human version of a trickster figure from a cartoon way, way, way long ago. And this particular trickster figure is really good at twisting his words and yours into all kinds of shapes.”
I looked over my shoulder at Jess. “Hon, my new favorite fairy from Gargoyles is Puck, no contest.”
Her look was perfect bafflement.
“What the hell is going on?!” Carter said, raising his gun at me.
“Oh, Carter. Don’t do that. We’re not in an abandoned strip mall in Tulsa anymore. We’re at a Halloween Pride Parade in San Francisco!” I spread my arms wide and spun in the air, taking in all I saw.
I stopped to hover in front of him and smiled, serene. “And you are pointing a firearm at an unarmed civilian.”
Carter made a whoomph noise as the Speedo Cowboys tackled him from behind. His gun was taken in a fluid movement as they held him easily.
“Ooo, very nice, gentlemen,” I said, clapping my hooves.
I came to a landing in front of the struggling Carter and smiled down into his purple-with-anger face.
“That stone, like you said, would take whoever’s magic was put into it to the magic user’s people. That is what Owen said, right? ‘Their magic will take you to their people.’” I tilted my head at him. “And surprise, surprise, ponies aren’t people! We’re ponies! That’s the point!”
Carter’s eyes popped with rage.
“Not that we’re not as awesome and great as people, just different kind of folk. So where could this magic have sent me? Certainly not back to Equestria. My people weren’t there. So where was the best place that magic could send me?” I looked at the banner pointed. “Amongst my human half’s people. See, I forgot to mention this, Carter...” I leaned in and in a not very whispery whisper I said, “I’m a big ol’ dyke and I love me some Halloween.”
I let that sink in for him. “So. My people,” I said, raising back up and gesturing to the crowd.
“What’s going on here?”
I turned to a man in a blue uniform with his hand on his weapon looking between the three guys in a heap in front of me and me.
“Hi officer! My name’s Blossom Jane. This is Carter- Well, I didn’t get his last name, but I bet you can get it. Anywho, we just got yanked here in the middle of this fine parade and let me tell you, it is no fun to be kidnapped and held at gunpoint as I’m sure these capable gentlemen and the surrounding people can attest?”
I waved my hooves and people started shouting assent.
“He had a gun on that pony!”
“I saw it!”
“I’ll testify!”
“Love a good witness,” I said winking at the officer.
“Let me up!” Carter shouted. “I know my rights! You can’t do this!”
“Actually, I can,” the officer said. “If you know your rights, let me make sure of that. You have the right to remain silent...”
As the officer read Carter his Miranda Rights, I went over to Jess and Rhea who were being seen to by a friendly looking man in his late forties and a woman in her early thirties. Both wore funny antenna on their head and pride flag t-shirts.
“Hey guys,” I said. “How’s it going?”
Jess looked at me, blinking a lot. Before she could say a word, I was tackle-hugged fiercely by Rhea.
“Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!” she said, burying her muzzle deep in my neck.
“Ow, Rhea. Ow. You’re welcome, but ow.”
“Oh! Sorry, sorry,” she said, blushing and releasing me.
The friendly man saw the gash the bullet had torn across me.
“Do you need-”
“Yes,” I nodded, the pain starting to surface as the adrenaline left my system. “EMT would be my bestie right now.”
As he rose to get me some help, I turned to Jess.
“Hey,” I said, softly. “You okay?”
She came forward, looked me over and threw her forearms and wings around me.
“Urgh,” I said, feeling the spasm of pain up from the wound. “I missed you too, Fire-”
“Shut up,” she said softly. “Shut up and hold me.”
I did.
Please Direct All Questions To My Future Publicist
Like I mentioned earlier, my parents are journalists. Since I was interested in their jobs when I was young, I grew up in the field and had a sort-of idea of what happened at disaster sites, crime scenes and the like. Well, there’s knowing and then there’s experiencing and the experience was way, way, way more exhausting. I now totally get how cops sometimes look like they wanna punch a dude when the camera fires up.
I was fine, if tense, when the EMT patched me together asking weird questions about my anatomy. I was agreeable and understanding as I answered on-the-scene police officer questions. I was patient as Jess and I explained where our stuff was back in Tulsa and how best to get it delivered to our hotel room (graciously provided by the parade’s organizers who wanted to show outreach in “our time of need.”). I only started to crack halfway into the local news interviews.
“Well, I dunno,” I said to a smiling man with an unnatural tan and a fat mic in my face, who had asked how I’d figured out to keep Carter talking. “I mean, it wasn’t like my floopnardle was going off or anything.”
That got a blink.
“Floopnardle?” the smiling guy said.
“Yeah. Floopnardle. All pegasi have ‘em. Y’see it’s near the back and when we get really great ideas our tails raise up and-”
“What she’s trying to say,” Jess butted in. “Is she’s tired. We all are. Sorry we can’t answer any more of your questions.”
“Just one more-!”
“Thank you,” Jess said, giving the errant voice an evil eye.
At this point, the police started moving the press away.
“What was that?” Jess asked. “You told me you could handle the press.”
“Too much talking,” I said. “Brain tired. Want away.”
“I’ll get us a ride,” Rhea said, leaving my side for the first time since this began.
While Rhea hadn’t said much, from what she told the police and news teams, it appeared I’d gotten the picture of what happened to her pretty much spot on.
She’d turned into Night Shade Rhythm three days ago and spent the first day pretty much freaking out and not answering her phone. By the second day, she and Night Shade had something of a mental repertoire going and after some discussion, they opted to go for New York.
Rhea packed as best she could. Night Shade helped a bit with horn magic, but Rhea was skittish at the notion of screwing up and making whatever she held in her magical grip blow up. So it was slow going.
The going was so slow that they only hit the road just as night fell and made the bus stop well into dark. They passed the time waiting for the late bus by getting to know one another. Until Carter rolled up, aimed a gun at their collective head and stole Night’s body with Rhea and Night’s minds away to the abandoned shopping mall. They had spent the night while Carter explained at gun point what he wanted of the pony.
In some ways, they were lucky that Rhea was too scared to commit to the unicorn magic. If they had, who knows where that stone tablet- now in a very spooked looking officer’s evidence baggie- would have taken them. Nearby convention? A gathering of her online friends? Back to her apartment? And with Carter fully armed? Bad times all around.
“She must be relaxing a bit to let us out of her sight,” Jess commented.
Some part of me must have finally got a message through, because I looked at Jess. Really looked at her. Taking in her expression, her bearing, her everything. I blinked slowly. I turned my gaze to where Rhea had trotted off.
“How long have you been in charge, Cloud?” I asked quietly.
Cloud Kicker flinched. I had to admit, she’d been doing a good job making it look like Jess was mixing her emotions with Cloud, but I knew my girlfriend. I knew what she did when she was mad at me. I knew what she did when she was upset or despondent or out-of-sorts. I’d been her shoulder through thick and thin just as she’d been mine. Now that I wasn’t stressed as hell, I could see she hadn’t been around for a while.
Pawing at the ground, which was actually pretty bashful for Cloud, the pony beside me said, “A little after you two looked at the apartment. She was- Is hurt. She started hoofing me more control bit by bit. When did you know?”
“I didn’t,” I sighed. “I’ve been distracted, if you haven’t noticed.”
Cloud chuckled dryly.
“So. You still pissed at me?” I asked.
She assessed me with cool eyes.
“I’m not pissed about what happened. Things happen. Jury’s still out on you. I catch bits of Blossomforth, but...” Her eyes welled up and she swallowed the tears back. “You’re not her. You’re too confident, too social.”
I chuckled. Wow. Cloud Kicker calling me confident. That’ll go in my calendar as a holiday. I told her as such and she laughed.
“Yeah. Like that. Bits of you.” She shook her head. “I don’t know any more.”
“How about Jess?”
“Rhea’s back,” Cloud said, noting the unicorn’s return. “Later.”
I gave her a brief, but steady look. “Later,” I said.
Rhea arrived all smiles to escort us to our ride in style: San Francisco Police Cruiser Unit 1054. ~ While the parade organizers and city officials had said they’d foot the bill on a hotel room for us for a night or two, we did not stay at anything resembling a Ritz Carlton. But we weren’t Motel 6 either.
The hotel was large, and white, and smelled clean, and even though we had yet to check in, I could psychically feel the bed from my soon-to-be room calling my name. It’s a new pegasus ability. Very rare, save for those of us who’re zonk-tired.
The front desk was ready for our arrival and the guy behind the counter was friendly enough. He asked for a picture and I managed one last smile before telling him about our incoming FedEx package. Bruce said he was sototally on it and he’d make sure everyone on staff knew too. Cloud then gave him a list of people who could be transferred to our room, and I ended my final contact with anyone who wasn’t Cloud or Rhea.
We took an elevator ride and into a 10th floor room we hid.
“I am so done with people for at least... Ten, twenty minutes,” I sighed, stepping into the hotel room.
“God, please,” Rhea said.
Like all hotel rooms, the place was clean, nice. Unlike all of them, it was a bit upscale. Two beds, a bathroom and a flatscreen TV on the wall. We even had a balcony.
I flapped over to the bed closest to the balcony and dropped down. It was like a brick compared to Suzy, but I could have slept on broken glass at that point.
“Dibs,” I said.
Cloud chuckled and came over to pull the sheets back.
“I’ve heard these help.”
“Bah,” I dismissed with a smile. “You and your Kicker logic.” I acquiesced though and hovered as she exposed the bed. I slid under the thin sheet and left the comforter at the foot.
Cloud briefly assessed me with an unreadable expression, shrugged, and hopped up to settle down next to me.
I smiled. “Made up your mind?”
“You’re enough like Blossom that you’re worth cuddling. Scoot over.”
I did. I noticed Rhea standing near the other bed, shooting us glances, her brow knitted together.
“Want some nap company?” I asked.
A relieved breath came out of her, leaving a hopeful smile in its wake.
“C’mon up. It’s a big bed.” I patted the space next to me and Rhea did a fast trot and leapt up. Cloud and I bobbed a little on the mattress as she landed.
She turned a quick circle like a dog and dropped down along my side. I laughed and she promptly stuck her tongue out. I lay a protective wing over her trunk.
“You’ll have to keep her now,” Cloud muttered with a grin, her eyes closed.
“Friendship’s magic,” I said. “The more the merrier.”
“Yay,” Rhea whispered.
It wasn’t long before we all passed out. ~ I woke after a dreamless sleep with my mouth a bit dry, my pelt feeling damp and my bladder begging a release. I realized how much water the parade organizers had gotten us during all the Q&A and flapped over to the bathroom.
After I flushed, I came out to a partially awake Rhea blinking at me through the low light as Cloud twitched in her sleep. I glanced at the clock and saw we’d been down about two hours.
“Hey,” I said in a low voice.
“Hey,” Rhea said, matching my volume.
“Wanna get something to eat?” I said.
Rhea nodded, her expression grateful.
I left a note by Cloud’s head, so she wouldn’t panic if she woke, and we went to the lobby where we found the hotel restaurant: a generic, high-end, bar and grill joint with seats that looked like they were a year away from being replaced. It may have been just after noon when we confronted Carter, but thanks to the magical whatsis, we’d made up time in the zone change. Even with the added nap, we were just barely at lunchtime. The place was empty save for one waiter and one bartender.
We ordered salads and mozzarella sticks and water with lemon in it. I thought about getting a cider, but opted against it. I didn’t like that this was the first instance I didn’t remember my dreams. I didn’t need booze fuddling me on top of Carter and my merge.
I sighed.
“You okay?” Rhea asked.
I smiled at her. “Mm? Oh, I’m fine. Just... I guess I didn’t sleep well.”
“Yeah,” Rhea said “You made these weird noises or something. Bad dreams?”
I shrugged. “Not that I remember.” I poked at my glass as Rhea waited. “Doesn’t mean I didn’t have them though.” I took a sip of my drink and smiled at her more tiredly than I liked. “How about you? Any bad dreams?”
She looked at the table, staying quiet.
“Fair enough,” I said. “So. Lighter subject then- You like Luna, huh?”
That perked her right up, though she blushed when she realized how fast her head had risen.
“Uh. Yeah. Heh heh. You saw my place. I’m a big... Luna fangirl.” Her blush deepened. “So yeah.”
“It’s cool,” I said. “She’s one of my faves too.”
“Even now?” Rhea asked. “Night Shade thinks I’m a bit weird for being so into Luna.”
“Well, Night Shade needs to remember that Luna is the illegitimate offspring of Thor and Brian Blessed and that makes her awesome.”
Rhea laughed. “You’re funny, you know that?”
“Looks aren’t everything,” I said with a waggle of my eyebrows.
She snickered. “No. Like, you made it not so scary even though... That guy had a gun on us.”
I exhaled a laugh. “Thanks,” I said. “I was just making it up as I went. Keep him talking.”
“I wish I had been that brave,” Rhea said.
I regarded Rhea for a moment, my brow creasing a bit in worry, then leaned across the table to put a hoof on her shoulder.
“You were very brave Rhea. You were a scared person in an extraordinary situation and you survived. You did fine.”
“Still needed to be saved,” she said, glumly, as if being held at gunpoint were a characteristic shortcoming.
Sitting back, I frowned, more to myself than Rhea. I was the lucky one as far as she was concerned. I’d swept in and saved the day, though I’d really been panicking out of my feathering mind and trying to stay alive by babbling fast enough. She didn’t see that though. She just saw herself as weak and I could hear Rhea prepping the whip in her mind to flog on herself.
I didn’t know Rhea outside what her apartment showed and Carlisle’s warmth toward her, but I don’t like people, or ponies in this case, beating on themselves. Ever.
“We can’t all be Rarity with the Diamond Dogs,” I said, putting on a half-smile.
Rhea nodded with a roll of her eyes. “But- but I didn’t even try! I just blubbered and freaked out and was all weak and-”
“Whoa! Whoooooa,” I said. “Stop. Stop, right there. Because you aren’t going to help yourself any with that. He had a gun Rhea. A great, big...” I shuddered. “Stinking gun and I got a close look at it. It was real. The only reason, the only reason I got away with what I did is because I was really lucky and he wanted to talk. Cloud was being much more level-headed about it and you were doing all the right things to stay alive.
“I got very, very lucky. He could have shot me for all my blabbering.” I felt my heart accelerate as the reality of what I’d survived took form in my head. I swallowed a deep breath to try and calm myself down.
“What we did to get you was really risky,” I said, my voice only slightly quavering. Slightly. “We only did it because... Well, I felt like we were against a wall. Cloud was doing all the right things, you were doing all the right things, I was doing all the crazy, dumb things and got lucky. I wasn’t brave, I was just being nervous.”
Rhea sighed and looked at me, her lips pressed tightly together.
Our salads arrived and the conversation ended up shelved. Whether by Rhea or myself, I don’t know. The waiter smiled and asked if we needed anything and I told him we were good.
We poked at our salads in silence till the mozzarella sticks. The mozzarella sticks were heaven. I certainly felt my mood perk up just eating those bad boys.
Rhea looked better too.
“Oh. Oh, duuuude,” Rhea mumbled.
“I know, right? Try the marinara, if you can handle it.”
She did. And she handled it. Barely.
Food consumed, Rhea lay against her chair, grinning lazily. I grinned at her and worked slower through my salad. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her head jerk up.
“Hey,” she said, rising up in her seat. “Hey! We’re on TV!”
I turned and there were Cloud, Rhea and myself on a bigscreen over the bar. Rhea looked as meek as I remember and Cloud had a neutral, if exasperated face on. I... Wow. I looked horrible. What happened to my mane?
“Ich,” I said. “I look like butts.”
“You look fine. All survivor hero and stuff. Like a pony Lara Croft”
I gave Rhea a skeptical look and snorted.
We talked on camera for about twenty seconds, Cloud being professional, me smiling tiredly and Rhea trying to hide behind both of us, then we cut to a smiling woman behind a desk. Just as we were about to turn away, a new graphic loaded from another station and...
“What the-” I muttered.
It looked like a bunch of ponies in costumes doing a song and dance number.
“Hey!” I said to the bartender. He glanced my way. “Could you turn on the sound, please?”
His eyes swept the restaurant and seeing we were the only ones in, he shrugged, pulled out a remote and after some toggling I heard it.
“-his is Halloween. Red 'n' black, slimy green!”
“Aren't you scared?” a griffon- had to be Gilda- sneered at one camera.
“Well, that's just fine!” Princess Cadance belted, appearing above the crowd and swirling in a dress that looked like something out of Lord of the Rings. “Say it once, say it twice, take a chance and roll the dice! Ride with the moon in the dead of night!”
I blinked as the song went on and on.
It was ponies. In costume. And they were singing “This is Halloween” from TheNightmare Before Christmas.
I couldn’t help it. I snorted. I giggled. I cracked up.
I cracked up so bad, I fell from my chair, laughing and clutching my stomach.
On the way to the floor, I caught Rhea staring in awe, a smile tickling across her face which gave way to delighted spurts of laughter.
Sometimes life is scary and you try to not think about it. Then, life isn’t scary and you need to laugh. You need to laugh because it feels so good to be alive.
Putting our meal on the room’s tab, we went to wake Cloud. Not just to show off what we’d seen on the news, but for some answers too.
I had figured out most of who was who in the “This Is Halloween” song and dance number pretty easily. Fluttershy, Cadance, Shining Armor, and Apple Bloom were all dressed up without really obscuring who they were. Fluttershy’s costume in particular, a gothy, lacy fairy-like thing, was making me feel... Fluttery in the chest. Which was a bit weird. I guess my human side was still trying to sort attraction with my pony side.
Gilda wasn’t even in costume, and while there had been a few humans, probably enthusiastic Solar Guard, one pony left me completely flummoxed to her identity. Seeing as Rhea got a big ol’ question mark from Night Shade, I figured Cloud was going to be our next best bet till I could get online.
“Cloud. Cloud. Cloud,” I chirped, poking her repeatedly with my hoof.
She groaned at the seventh “Cloud” and opened a bleary eye.
“What Blossom?”
“I need you to identify a pony. Maybe.”
“Okay, okay...” she grumbled.
While the slow waking was more a Jess thing than a Cloud thing- Cloud was still a bit of a bugle plot thanks to her West Hoof days- I had to swallow the lump in my throat as I noticed I still didn’t pick up any of Jess’s tells now that Cloud wasn’t actively thinking about them. Where was she?
“What’s going- Oh. Hey.”
Rhea had gotten the TV on and scrolled to a news channel that was showing the ponies performing the song and dance number. I knew as soon as I got my laptop back, I’d be favoriting that thing and adding it to the Travelling Facebook page in a show of support. Something like this was what the Internet drooled over.
Cloud watched and I could tell when her brain got back in gear. She chuckled.
“Catchy stuff. Kinda twisted. Especially for... Wow.” A nostalgic smile creeped on her face and she snorted a small laugh. “Lookit you, Eepy,” she said softly. “That’s a look...”
Apparently, I wasn’t the only one to be flustered by Fluttershy’s costume.
Cloud didn’t stare long though and just did a quick ruffle of her feathers, bringing her focus back on everything rather than one, pretty pegasus.
“Who are we looking for?” she asked, all business now.
“That one,” I said, pointing to a green and gray pony with fangs and a stone thing on her head. “She’s some... Whatever from a video game, but I’m completely blanking on-”
“Pinkie Pie.”
I blinked. “What?”
“That’s Pinkie Pie,” Cloud said with a lazy smile.
Rhea looked between Cloud and the screen, which had now changed to talking heads and an information ticker scrolling on the bottom. I blinked slowly and started mentally removing the costume parts off who we’d just seen.
“How can you tell?” the unicorn asked.
“Yeah,” I said. “I mean, now that you’ve said it, I... Okay, I can sorta see it, but... Her human makes her sound really different. I didn’t even recognize her under all that make-up.”
Cloud grinned knowingly and said, “You never forget a rump like Pinkie Pie’s.”
My eyes darted between the screen and Cloud and mental images of Pinkie and Cloud started to form. I banished them with a fierce, quick shake of my head.
For January, these were mostly kid-friendly characters from a kid-friendly show and she let closed doors stay closed. For Blossomforth, they were ponies she actually knew and she didn’t think about co-workers and casual friends that way. Both sides agreed whatever image Cloud was inevitably conjuring was not a mental image I needed.
Still. Curiosity was bubbling now...
“You mean you and Pinkie...” I said, waving a hoof vaguely.
Cloud chuckled, shaking her head. “Naah. I offered, but she wasn’t game. Besides...” she added. “Some ponies... It’s just nice to enjoy the view.”
She let that sink in.
“Wow,” Rhea said. “You really are sex obsessed. I thought that was just that fanfic.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah. She’s the Captain Jack of Ponyville.”
“Captain...?” Cloud asked.
“Ask Jess,” I said. “She’ll fill you in.”
Cloud’s expression went distant, but not like she was asking Jess.
“Oh. Okay,” she said with a smirk, sure of herself. “Just call me Captain Kicker. Ooo, you know, that has a ring to it. Maybe I should’ve stayed in the military after all.” Quickly, she set a feather in her wing as a way of changing the subject.
“What else is on?”
Before she could reach for the remote, my eyes narrowed and I said, “You’re lying.”
Cloud raised an eyebrow, turning to me. “What makes you say that?”
“You didn’t ask Jess, you just checked out, tried to remember where you heard the name before. Like when Rosy Cheeks came up to you at work and you were trying to convince me you were considerate and remembered all your partners and didn’t just bang whoever.”
Cloud, chuckled, rubbing an embarrassed hoof on her neck.
“So... You, ah, remembered that?”
“Of course I do, Cloud. I remember both of my lives pretty well. Part of one involves a redheaded human lass who I love nearly and dearly. Maybe you know her? Love of faerie lore, hyper-competent at carpentry and organization, sings sotto voce when she works?” My tone sharpened with each descriptor and my eyes narrowed as I loaded my last question. “I’m only going to ask this once, Cloud Kicker: Where. Is. My. Girlfriend?”
Cloud looked briefly trapped before her eyes darted to the side and her expression shifted to something more neutral.
“Do you think we should be doing this...” She gestured to Rhea.
My brain felt like she’d just tossed cold water on it.
Turning to Rhea, I saw that she was starting to tighten under the sudden turn in mood. Her tail flicked back and forth excitedly and her eyes had dilated as if she were about to run.
The ponies who saved her life were bickering. That’d make anyone anxious- especially after escaping a kidnapping.
Smiling politely, I wrapped my voice in a more level tone and asked, “Rhea, would you mind if Cloud and I went to a nearby cloud to sort out our... Business?”
I should have just shut down the conversation with Cloud and looked to Rhea’s needs rather than getting into a squabble. I should have pressed Rhea to talk with one of the counselors the police offered. I should have been more aware of the other pony in our small herd rather than my own sparking anger.
“You’re not- You won’t be far, right?” she asked, being the bigger pony.
“Of course not,” I said as warmly as I could. “Just outside.”
“Um. Yeah. Go, uh, do what you gotta.”
“Thank you.” I trotted past the bed Cloud was sitting on and flew up to the curtains blotting the sun from outside. Pulling them back, I let cheerful, noonday light pour into the room. Unlatching the sliding glass door, I flew out to look for water vapor I could pull together for a decent sitting cloud.
“Cloud?” I said, hovering over the balcony, my gaze on the sky. I didn’t even know I could make that tone.
“Uh, yeah. Coming. Back in a minute, Rhea. Don’t go anywhere, eh?”
I didn’t catch Rhea’s response as Cloud followed me out and up. She waited as I put together a cloud we could sit on.
“You know, building is-”
“Quiet. This is soothing me. Or do you want me worked up?”
Cloud hovered peaceably.
It wasn’t big and nowhere near as sturdy as Suzy, but it was a solid cumulous and would hold up for the length of the conversation I needed to have with Cloud Kicker.
I settled down. Cloud sat next to me, though she put a hoof’s distance between us. That sent a pang through my chest.
“How long haven’t you heard from her?” I asked, distracting myself from the space between us.
Cloud rubbed her forehooves in thought. She wanted to get this right, so I gave her the time she needed to assemble her thoughts.
“She went quiet when we started going after Rhea,” she said. And I could tell she was sincere.
That was a thing about Cloud- she was a crap liar. At least, she was around me. She could float soft non-answers, maybe dance a little and be obtuse, but anything approaching clear lies stood out like neon. It always made me wonder how she was able to do it for everypony else. Especially ones she was trying to chat up at bars.
“I asked to lead,” Cloud continued. “But I said I’d do it as her, so you wouldn’t get any more worked up. I reasoned that since I’d actually run a few extraction exercises at West Hoof, what we were getting into at the strip mall wasn’t unfamiliar stuff. She said okay, made sense. Then she went quiet.”
“What about your dreams? Did you two talk then?” I realized I was breathing faster now, my tone more desperate.
Cloud looked away, and I couldn’t read her expression. Shame? Regret?
“Cloud, did you dream?”
“I remember it, but... I didn’t find her. She’s- I don’t hear her anymore.” Cloud looked up to me, her ears down, her amethyst eyes glistening in sorrow. “I’m sorry, January. I think she’s gone.”
Here’s a morbid fact: January has lost one person close to her every year since her grandmother died back in 2006. This meant that since parts of me were her, that I have lost a person close to me every year since my grandmother died back in 2006.
Meanwhile, Blossomforth was an orphan who was raised by the Celestia Cloudsdale Orphanage. The experience wasn’t Dickensian by any stretch, but she had grown up with a sense of being detached and aware of the world in a way other ponies weren’t. This meant I could be detached, if need be.
These bits of information gave me a false confidence. One person close to me died every year or I’d never really been close to anypony before. I could handle bad news like a pro. I could cope like a badass. Nothing could knock me for a loop because every year, I was prepared for that worst of news on top of knowing that life didn’t owe me any favors.
Armed with such guarded cynicism, I apparently had not taken into account magic and the dissolution of the love of my life behind a pony face.
Life’s surprising like that.
“What?” I asked Cloud.
“I’m sorry. I just... I think on her and nothing. I have bits. I know what a TV is. How to drive a car. That kind of thing. But stuff specific to her it’s all...” She hung her head. “I’m sorry.”
“What?” I repeated.
“January, I’m-”
“Don’t call me that!” I snapped, my emotions boiling. Is this what Jess and Cloud felt like when I told them January and Blossomforth had fused? All hot and confused and scared? This didn’t make sense.
I looked to Cloud and saw she had winced when I’d snapped. I turned away, gathering myself.
“You still don’t... “ I brought my gaze back to Cloud. “I’m both of them, Cloud Kicker. I used to be January. I used to be Blossomforth. But now, I’m Blossom. Jane.”
“Because that makes sense,” Cloud said, exasperated, ducking her eyes away from me.
“Because ponies sharing bodies with humans makes sense!” I yelled. My ear twitched and I heard pigeons fly off, startled.
Cloud flinched again, blinking.
And in her blinking face, I put two and two together and made one of those intuitive leaps January had been really good at and Blossomforth usually kept to herself.
“You didn’t tell her anything about the merge, did you?” I accused.
Cloud’s expression fell along with her ears and she looked away.
I shook my head. “Of course. No wonder she- It’s part of harmony, Cloud! It’s part of how this thing works! Did you think you could beat it or something?”
“It’s... Complicated,” Cloud replied.
“Oh, Celestia save me from ponies and that stupid phrase!” I yelled, tossing my hooves in the air.
She looked at me, confusion clear on her face.
“Did you know January tried that on Blossomforth? ‘I’m complicated. I’m dangerous.’ January also had enough sense to know when she was being stubborn and sent in little avatars to make sure Blossom knew what the score was.” I glared back. “But you. You were just... Quiet?”
“I was giving her space,” Cloud said. “Didn’t want to crowd her, you know? When it got bad she-”
“Curled up in a corner to die and that’s what we’re looking at Cloudrina Penelope Kicker!”
Cloud winced again, finally grasping how much trouble she was in. She really didn’t like her full name and if Blossomforth used it, she knew she’d screwed up bad.
I took a breath. It came ragged and I thought I was about to cry. I couldn’t though. If I started crying, she’d try to comfort me and we’d get off track and I couldn’t do that. I had to make this work. I had to get her to understand that if she fought this, kept fighting this, we’d lose Jess. And I wasn’t going to lose Jess.
“I’m no unicorn,” Cloud said quietly. “What do you expect I can do?”
“Open up to her,” I said, softly. “Show her your memories of Blossomforth. Get her to show you her memories of January. She’s still in there. She’s just hidden away. There’s still time.” Celestia and Luna and all the stars in the sky, let there still be time.
“Maybe you two can talk about me,” I offered. “I know what I am could at least be some common ground for bitching.”
Downcast, she sighed, scuffing a little fluff off the cloud. She noticed the necklace she wore: Jess’s triskel pendant. She regarded it.
“You know how I suck at long term commitment,” she said, quiet.
“You don’t suck at Alula,” I pointed out.
“Jess isn’t Little Wing,” Cloud retorted, using her nickname for her little sister. “She’s all grown up.”
“And needs to know she isn’t alone,” I said.
I looked into Cloud’s eyes.
“I’m here for her,” I said. “All of me. Just as I’m here for you.”
Cloud’s brow knitted in confusion.
I shook my head, smiling wistfully. Blossomforth had gone over this a thousand times in her head before, which meant, I had gone over it a thousand times. None of them had ever included this particular scenario.
Life’s surprising like that.
“I love you, you big dummy,” I said, still smiling.
Cloud blinked. It took her a minute before her mouth started working again.
“You- You love me? Blossom, what do you-”
“Back when I was just Blossomforth, ” I said, because if I didn’t get this out now, it wasn’t coming out. “I asked myself... I asked myself, ‘Is she my best friend or my best friend?’ Then one day it was true. I knew I was in love.” I blushed.
“January knew it too, but she was kind and let Blossomforth just say we were best friends. She knew what it was like to be there. To care for your best friend and not want to wreck it. To hesitate and just be content to know this completely amazing, wonderful pony who completely changed your life.
“Then this happened. All of it. And... How I felt about you started mixing with how I felt about Jess and you both had the same face and when I merged...”
I sighed, bringing my blue eyes to meet her amethyst ones.
“When I say I love you, Cloud. I mean that all of me, Blossomforth and January, loves all of you, Cloud Kicker and Jessica. We’d do anything for you, either of you.” I rubbed at a foreleg, self-consciously. “We risked merging with one another, because both of us knew, knew from feather to hoof that we loved you both. And while we didn’t know much about the fusion, we knew our love would survive. I love you that much, Jessica Cloud.”
Cloud twitched at the name. Her left eye blinked out of sync with the right.
“Like when I got you those new purple Converse,” I said. “Or when I picked up the bill on ‘Lone Mare’ night. Or when I asked you to move in with me. Or when I let you crash at my place while your roof was being fixed.”
Cloud’s left eye was twitching furiously now, tears starting to spill from it. Her right was dilating, shocked, processing.
“Jess once asked me a question, Cloud. The answer’s still yes. And it’s the same answer for you too. I love you. I love all of you. With all my little pony heart.”
I leaned in and kissed her. I kissed because I loved her.
That Crushing Feeling Is Just Realization Doing Its Job
Rhea was watching cartoons when I came back, Cloud draped across my back. I caught her relieved expression, but it quickly fell away once I crossed the threshold. Rhea hit mute and watched, mouth slightly agape, as I eased the other pegasus on the bed. Carefully.
“Did you... Knock her out or something?”
After we’d kissed, Cloud had pretty much seized up and passed out. I had a brief freak out, but after confirming her pulse was steady and she was breathing, I decided I’d just hit a button. I desperately hoped it was the “Cloud and Jess are talking now” button.
“No,” I said, looking over my best friend, my would-be marefriend. “I think I... Hard rebooted her. I think. She’s just sleeping it off. I think.”
“Oh.” Rhea looked at Cloud, who twitched slightly in her sleep. “Is she... Going to be okay?”
I shrugged. “We’ll just have to see. I think this plays out a little different for everypony involved.”
I settled down next to Cloud’s sleeping form and looked at what Rhea was watching.
“What... Is that?” I said pointing to what looked like a ghost with a hand growing out of its head accept a high-five from a grotesque, green man.
“Hm? Oh. Yeah. Regular Show.” She smiled hopefully at me. “It’s funny.”
I watched the show silently and pulled something from a January, late-night, internet search memory. “This is that thing from the Flapjack guy isn’t it?” I finally said.
“You don’t like it? I can change the channel. It’s okay.”
“No, no. It’s not that. It’s just... A little weird for me.”
Rhea arched a disbelieving eyebrow, which just made me laugh.
“What?” I protested. “We all have our limits.”
“Says the talking, flying pony,” Rhea chuckled.
“Yep,” I said, tugging the blankets over Cloud’s body. “Says the talking, flying pony.”
Rhea turned off the TV. I could feel her eyes on me as I stroked Cloud’s mane.
“Um. This is probably a weird question...” she said.
“I bet,” I replied, my eyes still on Cloud.
“What’s going on? Like between you two?”
“It’s complicated,” I replied automatically. I sighed at my own hypocrisy and smiled. “You sure you want to know?”
“Y’all saved me. Can’t I be curious about my heroes?”
I chuckled softly. “Okay.”
So I told her everything. How we were dating. How I woke up as Blossomforth, then how Jess woke as Cloud. How we ran a stage show and decided to go on a road trip. How Blossom and I slowly, but inevitably merged into one, new personality who was an amalgamation of all we were. How Jess had felt like her girlfriend was gone. How Cloud had been suspicious of me. How it had all happened and gone so different from where we started.
Rhea was a good listener. She nodded, only asked one or two questions to clarify what I had talked about. I noticed an unconscious twitch of her left hoof as she spoke. Maybe that was Night Shade? The pony hadn’t made much of an appearance, which was strange.
Either way, I was glad she was there. I don’t think I could have carried this further on my own.
At the end, Rhea exhaled a breath and eyebrows raised in amazement said, “Wow.”
I nodded.
“Seriously. Like, wow.”
I nodded again.
“Do you think... What do you think?”
I looked at Cloud, who still twitched and mumbled in her sleep.
“I don’t know. She knocked out after I kissed her. If I’m lucky, they’re talking. I miss Jess. I miss Cloud.” I pulled my hind legs up and hugged them to my chest. “I miss their trust.”
“Hey...” Rhea said, coming over to the bed and resting her forehoof on me. “I trust you. You saved my life. You’re totally trustworthy.”
“Thanks, Rhea,” I replied, my voice soft. “That’s very kind of you.”
Rhea’s head cocked and the expression changed. “But I’m not your marefriend,” she said sagely with a smile.
She blinked. Ah, there was Night Shade.
“Yeah, that happens sometimes,” I said with a laugh. “You’ll get used to it.”
“Night! Don’t do that! I’m freaked out enough as it is!”
Trying to take my worries off the pegasus twitching in her sleep next to me, I leaned down from the bed to give Rhea a focused inspection.
“You are freaked out. Why?”
Rhea’s expression deadpanned. “Really?”
“Yeah.”
She rolled her eyes.
“Look, I know you’re all ‘yay, I’m a pegasus and I fusion danced and it’s great,’ but me? Oh no. This was- No. I just really liked the show, I don’t- I don’t want to be a pony! Especially a unicorn! I could hurt someone with my magic.” She shivered. “And Night Shade keeps. Making. Dumb. Suggestions!”
“Like what?”
“New York? Dumb idea. If I hadn’t gone along with it, y’all would’ve found me and we could’ve called Carlisle and everything would’ve been fine. Instead, I listened to her, got kidnapped and she’s all ‘let me take over, I can levitate his stupid bean can’ and I’m all ‘he’s a bad guy! We can’t let him use magic!’”
I smiled. “Thought you said you were too nervous to use your horn.”
“I was! Am!” She scowled, a blush creeping up her deep blue neck. “Same thing!”
“Sounds like you were being brave to me.”
Her expression pinched in confusion. “Say what now?”
“You didn’t give the bad guy your magic. Yeah, most of that was because you were scared you’d blow up his macguffin, but you were brave. You saved the day before Cloud and I even showed up.”
She scrunched her face further, mulling it over.
“You know,” she said, face opening up. “You’re not very like that fanfiction.”
I shrugged. “Post fusion. I’m not the Blossomforth you know.”
I blinked, feeling my stomach drop.
“I’m not... Oh. Oh, stars.”
We, as thinking creatures, can have two kinds of knowing: intellectual and emotional. Intellectually, I knew that my fusion had been why Jess had despaired. Intellectually, I knew that same fusion was why Cloud was suspicious of me and angry at me. Emotionally, though, I hadn’t made those leaps. Right here, talking with Rhea, I found the emotions. The emptiness. The disconnect between the two personalities I was and the pony I had become.
“You okay?” Rhea asked.
I slumped off the bed, a longer fall than it ever had been as a human.
On the floor, I looked up and realized how much taller Rhea was than me. She was slimmer too. Oh yeah. Pegasi ran small.
I looked over at Cloud, her mane peeking up over the bed. I reached a hoof up and stroked her muzzle.
“I’m so sorry,” I said, tears in my big, pony eyes. “I didn’t know.”
I started crying.
And Rhea, who didn’t have a clue as to why I had started sobbing, who had already shouldered enough that day, who didn’t really have a clear picture as to what was going on, reached over and pulled me into a hug. She rocked me back and forth, saying soothing things.
I don’t remember what she said. I just remember it was what I needed: the sounds of someone who understood. Even if you haven’t known them that long, they understood you hurt and were willing to help. The kindness of other ponies.
Time passed. We got room service. I stayed close to Cloud.
The time passed like waiting on a loved one to come out of surgery. Except, we hadn’t been warned by any doctor how long it would take. Rhea tried to distract me with TV and small talk, but my gaze kept wandering back to Cloud. And Jessica.
Would they come out okay? Could they ever forgive me for going through with something that tore away not one, but two faces from them?
The waiting was killing me.
Rhea sighed and turned off the TV.
“Are all... ‘Fusions’ like this? ‘Cause if so, Night can stay on her side of the brain,” she said.
I smiled. Rhea and I found I liked frank and direct. Especially in dire times like this. It woke me out of my rut and gave me perspective.
After considering my experiences, I said, “Mine wasn’t like this. I just went to sleep one night and after a dream...” I shrugged. “New pony.”
“It doesn’t hurt?”
I shook my head.
“How’d you... You know.”
“It was the right thing to do,” I replied.
Rhea tilted her head at me.
“Well, okay,” I said. “That sounds... Um.” I tapped my hoof on my chin.
“The way the magic works- You can feel it,” I explained. “It’s trying to sort you and your pony out and find the best way that works for everyone.
“My way blended January and Blossomforth so much that my cutie mark changed.” I gestured to my flank. “Other ponies I met at this mixer yesterday? All over the map. Some felt more at ease, no cutie mark change, and others maybe had a change to their eyes or a bit of their mane. One guy had fused, but still had both pony and human in his head because that worked best for him.”
I shrugged. “Near as I can tell, every fusion is as different as the personalities involved.”
Rhea whistled low.
“Deep.”
“Totally,” I said, a crooked smile growing on my lips.
“Whaddaya think is going on in her?”
I looked at Cloud, whose mouth had opened and was making a bit of a Jess-like snore. At least, I hoped it was a bit of a Jess-like snore.
“They’re pretty different- Cloud’s definitely more of an extrovert than Jess, but they’re also both stubborn and strong willed. They’re... Working it out. I hope.”
Rhea nodded. “Here’s to hoping.”
“Seconded,” Night said.
Rhea rolled her eyes as I laughed.
“I’m gonna have a talk with you,” Rhea said to the empty air, poking at it with her hoof. “Just you wait.”
“I’m up for a talk! C’mon, we can so sort this,” Night replied.
Night was obviously more outgoing than Rhea and in the time we’d spent together, I was starting to see when Rhea was in charge as opposed to Night. She smiled more and had this little, flitting glint in her eye while Rhea would listen more and direct her gaze.
Heh. The magic really seems to find pairs that complement one another, I thought.
“You know, you can keep the conversation in your head,” I said with a soothing smile.
Rhea shook her head. “Nuh-uh. This is weird enough. I wanna make sure if I’m talking to Night, it can be where I know I can hear it.”
“I’m with her,” Night said, slouching back against the other bed. “It’s messed up enough in here without trying to keep up who’s talking to who.”
“Are you calling me crazy?” Rhea countered, sitting up sharp.
“Nah, just cray cray.”
I laughed. I couldn’t help it. Watching somepony earnestly argue with herself was just... It was like Gollum from Lord of the Rings only without the scary factor. How could it be? Night Shade was pretty adorable.
“Glad we’re entertaining,” Rhea grumbled.
“Sorry,” I chortled, waving a hoof in added apology. “It’s just, Jess and Cloud were kind of reserved and I haven’t really gotten to see this so...” I snorted.
Rhea sighed, rolling her eyes. “Okay, yeah. I guess it’d look funny from the outside.”
“It definitely is,” I confirmed with a nod of my head. “And I know funny. Well, goofy really. I used to be the ‘Pinkie’ of my group of friends.”
“Used to?” Rhea cocked her head. “You were pretty funny back there.”
I waved a hoof dismissively. “Only when I’m not thinking about it. It’s really annoying. I like making everyone smile and such, but if I concentrate on it, all I get are these... Awkward silences.”
“Zen comedy,” Night said with a sagely nod.
“Just Zen,” I said, shrugging one shoulder.
“Um, can we pause this here?” Rhea asked. “I gotta use the bathroom.”
“Sure thing,” I said.
Rhea went in and shut the door. I turned my ears away lest they give me some info I’d rather not have.
I looked at the still sleeping Cloud.
“Wish I could be funny for you right now,” I said, softly.
I snorted. “Guess I haven’t really been funny since this whole thing started. Well, since I merged, really.”
My hoof reached out and I started stroking her. From neck to rump it went, slow and with care.
“Blossomforth’s better at your kind of communication, Jess, but I guess I got all January and backed off again. Trying to control everything like Cloud. From a distance.”
I sighed. “And here I am, being all morose. You don’t deserve morose, you work too hard. You and Cloud. You deserve me confident, sure of myself.” I bit my lip. “Whoever that is.”
A slight smile came to me as memory welled up from within.
“You know, that’s one of the reasons I fell for you Cloud?” I said, the smile tickling a bit further.
“The first time I laid eyes on you, well, besides thinking how great you looked. Heh.” I blushed for just myself. “Well, actually, that was part of how you looked so good. You were so... Sure and confident of yourself. Jess was the same way. She just... Knew herself so thoroughly and you both turned me inside out. All of me!” I laughed. “You weren’t content with who I tried to be, you wanted the real me.”
I waved my hind legs a bit.
“Now I can’t help being that. Not January nor Blossomforth, but some blend of both and I don’t know how to be anyone else.”
My gaze wandered to the abstract painting hanging above the bed. I wondered absently why hotels put these in.
“I guess I can write Time Lord regenerations with some authority, huh? I’m all different and the same at the same time. Wish I could show you that. Open up my chest and be- Here’s me! See! Still good! Still love you.”
I sighed.
“But it doesn’t work that way, does it?” I said, eyes on the pointless painting. “I don’t even know who I am yet. What kind of pony am I?”
“The kind who’ll talk to a sleeping one,” said Cloud’s voice.
“Cloud!” I yipped, turning to look at her.
When I did, I felt my eyes get really, really big, which is saying something.
As Cloud blinked at me with sleep-touched eyes, I caught a change. Just hovering around her pupil was a thin ring of gold that bled ever-so-slightly into the amethyst in a startling way. Before the change, Jess had a similar ring in her hazel eyes. I called it her “inner fire.”
And there was the inner fire. In Cloud’s eyes.
“Jess...?” I whispered, leaning in close.
She stretched, wings and all and smiled at me. “Let’s see,” she said, pulling the sheet back and exposing her flank.
Her cutie mark had changed.
Instead of a cloud slightly obscuring a sun, it was now a cloud slightly obscuring a blue-purple, crescent moon with a lit candle on the bottom. Though, in this case, the candle seemed to be rising from the clouds too. She rolled over and the same adorned the other side.
The moon with the candle on the bottom was Jessica’s symbol. Just as I’d done a bit of soul searching and tattooed myself, Jess had done something similar. She’d just put hers on her calf and at a younger age than me.
“Guess I’ll have to find another way to get the triskel on me,” the pony next to me said in a voice I realized had some of Jess’s quiet contemplation in it.
She turned back to look at me and smiled.
“You did it,” I said.
She nodded, her smile widening a fraction.
“Are you- Is everything-”
She put a hoof on my mouth, smiling sweetly.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I thought I lost you. But here... Now? I see what you mean.”
She lowered her hoof and her eyes, her smile fading. “But I’m new now too. Sure you still want to date me?” She looked up, her eyes full of hope.
We stared at each other for a heartbeat. Then, I tackled her in a hug. And followed it with a full-on kiss from the best of all my full-on kisses.
In the background, I almost heard the toilet flush and sort-of caught the “meep” of Rhea and the re-closing of the bathroom door.
The other pony ran her hoof through my mane and down my back lovingly, tenderly, caring. We parted so we could breathe.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered hotly. “I should have talked with you first.”
“I said I was sorry,” she responded, the little gold flecks in her eyes sparkling with delight. “I shouldn’t have been short with you. Either of me.”
“I should have loved you better,” I said.
“You already love me perfect.”
We paused then launched at one another again. We kissed each other like it was the last good kiss on Earth. We kissed each other like we needed the other to breath. We kissed each other like the two ponies we were: in love.
This went on for a good minute before I realized I was feeling... Other things starting to kick in. I remembered Rhea hiding in the bathroom, and with an effort of will that would have lifted the Golden Gate bridge, I slowed and finished kissing. Easing back and down a bit, I lay against her chest, listening to her heart race.
She held me, stroking my mane. After a few seconds, she said, “So that’s a yes?”
I chuckled. “Yes, you big dummy. Of course yes.”
She laughed to herself.
“Great way to get things started,” she said, a smile in her tone.
“Is it safe yet?” Rhea called through a crack in the door.
We laughed and I sat up. “Yeah,” I said. “Yeah, it’s safe.”
Rhea exited, concern coloring her expression as her gold eyes darted from me to the pony by my side.
“So... You did the thing?”
She nodded, her gold-blond mane bobbing. I ran a hoof over it to smooth it out.
“Hey. Great. So y’all are...”
I took her forehoof. She squeezed mine back. We both nodded.
“Cool. Congrats. So should I call you Cloud, or Jess, or what?”
I looked to the pony at my side and realized I hadn’t even asked her for her name.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “In all the excitement-”
“You already picked my name,” she said grinning lopsidedly. “I’ll still answer to my old ones, but now I’m Jessica Cloud.”
I blushed and looked at my knees. Which were fascinating.
“Didn’t expect that did ya?” Cloud said.
“No,” I replied.
“Then expect more of this.”
She reached her hoof under my chin and brought my blushing face around to look into her certain one, inner fire dancing in her eyes.
“Hi,” I said, quietly.
“Hey,” she said, equally as quiet.
She pulled me to her and kissed me. She kissed me because she loved me.
Classes on Transgender Will Be Held In the Pavilion- The Professor May Or May Not Be Drunk
In these situations, the trick is to just go with the flow. You won’t feel natural doing it because what’s happening isn’t natural. You may be boozed up. You may be confused. You may have been dancing just a few minutes before and now you’re completely out of your element. It’s okay. You just have to be flexible and look for an opening, hoping it will be over quick.
“I never knew ponies could party this hard!” yelled the coppery-yellow, earth pony standing next to me at one of the tables provided for pony guests.
“Uh-huh,” I said. Out of the corner of my eye, I could tell that Cloud had left me hanging and was doing well to keep Rhea from assisting too.
“Yeah!” the earth pony said, grinning, her violet-toned, poofy mane bouncing. “Little weird cruising though. Used to be my thing.”
“Oh?” I responded.
“Yeah. You’re not a guy in there, are you?” she said.
I laughed. “Sorry, no.”
“Shoot. This whole thing’s screwed up my radar. How about you two?”
“Nope!” Cloud said from afar.
Rhea shook her head in the negative. Very precisely.
“Just us ladies,” I said.
“Argh. Just my luck!” More martini was downed. “See, I’m a guy in here and my pony’s in heat and we’re both looking for some lovin’. If you know what I mean.”
“I can guess,” I continued in my uncommitted manner, mentally changing my pronouns.
“Only, I can’t tell who’s a guy anymore!” he went on, his martini sloshing. “Much less gay! It’s like trying to read a map in a new language with the map being some super, brainy app or something. Ugh, and I bought a strap-on and everything.”
“Mmmm,” I said, looking pointedly at Cloud.
Cloud chuckled, swigging her cider.
The pony must have read something wary or offended in my manner. Either way, he opted to defend what he shared.
“I was in the closet for nineteen years,” he said. “Ain’t no way I’m letting even the tiniest lie out anymore. Love your costumes by the by.”
I smiled, pushing a little more cheer to offset whatever offense he took, and tipped my witch’s hat at him.
His eyes then locked on something past us. “Yip! Pegasus flexing mannily at five o’clock! I’m on! Bye ladies!” And with that, the mysterious gay dude in a mare’s body trotted off to work his magic.
Once he was gone, I shot a glare at Cloud.
“What was that?” I said.
“A gay guy in a mare’s body,” she quipped.
“No, that whole- I was looking for an out.”
She grinned devilishly at me as she sipped from her cider. “Were you? Looks like you handled yourself fine to me.”
“One day, Miss Kicker-”
“Miss Tempest Kicker,” she corrected.
“One day,” I continued, unabated. “You will be too polite and get caught up in a conversation and not find a way out and I will watch and laugh.”
Cloud tipped her head from side to side, then rubbed my cheek affectionately. “You’re so cute when you come up with unlikely scenarios.”
I glared at her. She smiled back, cooly, and pecked my cheek.
I broke with a combination laugh and sigh.
“Ah, San Francisco,” I said, smile on my face.
After Cloud and I recovered and composed ourselves at the hotel, we’d gotten a call from one of the parade organizers who’d fronted our room for the night. All three of us were invited to a Big Gay Halloween Bash to help represent the “pony community.”
After the day she had, Cloud, who had decided to expand her name to Jessica Cloud Tempest Kicker (she wanted all the good parts in there and “no freaking Penelope”), voted to go out and party like Pinkie Pie.
Rhea was reluctant, but after some convincing and assurances from me, she was at least on board with being my or Cloud’s shadow for the evening.
We were picked up by a white passenger van, whose driver we convinced to stop at one of those seasonal Halloween stores. Inside, we bought a witch hat for me, fairy wings for Rhea and a feathery Masquerade mask for Cloud. As we rode over, Cloud pulled out her utilitool from her utility belt and got to work widening the eye holes for pony eyes, so she could see better.
Once we arrived, we took in the space set aside. This huge tent had been built in a park with a bar and portable dance floor, the party already in mild swing. By the time I’d been cornered by the earth pony, full swing was in effect and the sun was just starting to sink into the horizon.
“If I’d had more time, I could have made us all something better and we’d be beating ‘em off with a stick,” Cloud commented.
“Jess’s sewing skills survived?” I asked.
“Cloud had to reinterpret some of them for pony use, but when we get back home, I have new ideas for our LoJ costumes,” she said, her grin wicked.
Rhea shook her head as she sipped at her appletini. “I... Wow. I wasn’t ready for that,” she said.
I put a comforting foreleg around her. “Sorry. We can go to a quiet corner if this is too much.”
“No, it’s not the party. It’s... I thought that was a girl!” She shook her head. “And he thought I might be a dude?”
“Viva la LGBTQ!” I said, raising my drink.
Rhea laughed, her expression tight. “Sure. But how’m I supposed to know who’re the transgender ponies?”
I lowered my drink. This... Had been on my mind and I’d been wary about talking about it. Rhea looked like she was opening up, relaxing a little despite the last few days and I didn’t want to alienate her with what could be perceived as nitpicking.
Still...
“I don’t know about transgender ponies,” I said, moving my bottle between my hooves. “My memories from Blossomforth don’t point to biology and culture that have that happening in it. Does Night Shade say anything about girl pony in boy pony bodies or boy ponies in girl pony bodies?”
Rhea cocked her head at me and went quiet as she checked with her inner mare.
“Not that I know of,” she responded. “But, these guys are trans, right? Like dudes in girl bodies? That’s how that rolls right?”
“Well...” I said, tilting my bottle of cider from side to side now. “It’s a part of it. It’s complicated.”
Lightening my expression, I asked, “You mind a little class in the middle of your pony experience?”
Rhea perked up. “I’m game. I was a damn good student.”
“Glad to hear it,” I said. “Because this stuff isn’t easy or straightforward and I’m gonna be missing a lot of nuance.” Tapping my bottle on the table, I organized my thoughts.
“Okay, so, you used the word transgender. Right now, far as I know, medicine uses that term for anyone whose gender, which is your mental perception of your masculinity or femininity -the places in your brain that dictate you being a guy, girl or something in between- conflicts with your biological sex -the stuff between your legs along with all the glands that make it do. With me so far?”
Rhea nodded a slow okay, and I could see the definitions sinking in.
“Okay. Now. Being transgender means a person will do anything from using new pronouns to changing general personal appearance to seeking medical modification. It all depends on what that gender in their head is trying to sort out against its body. You’ve heard of transsexuals and transvestites and genderqueer, right?”
“Uh, most of that, yeah,” Rhea said.
“They’re all shades of transgender. Some just wanna rock the clothes, some it’s more mental and they’re looking for proper pronouns and others are saving up pennies for shiny new sex bits. Personally? I use transgender as the big umbrella word for, pretty much, all transpeople.
“These ponies? I wouldn’t call them transgender, because what’s happening doesn’t have anything to do with their born bodies. They’re going through some serious magical woo-hoo, and need support, but not the same kind of support a transperson needs. Not yet at least.”
“So... What?” Rhea asked, leaning on our table. “What are they?”
“Boys who got a visit from the horse vag fairy,” Cloud said, turning to watch a unicorn slink by in a modified Elvira dress and wig.
I nodded, giggling. “Yeah. That. They’re still guys. Or still girls. Their gender hasn’t changed from the body they were born in. Their biological sex along with their species however...” I gestured to our recent example, who looked like he’d finally lucked out with a fit-looking, pegasus colt. “Different matter. We’re probably gonna need a new word.”
I looked out at the mass of mingling people and ponies.
“We’re gonna need a lot of new words.”
I shook myself out of my reverie. “So, unless they want to take up the mare bodies they’re in and use those pronouns, they’re just guys. Same is true for any pegasisters getting their Big Mac on.”
Rhea chuckled.
“So keep that in mind. Their gender is intact. It may be experiencing trans issues the longer they’re in a pony body, but we don’t know right now. The magic and the ponies and the fusing personalities muddy those waters. So unless we start broadening and redefining the term- to me, not transgender.
“And until we reach that new knowledge, just ask. It’s widespread enough that most ponies probably won’t mind pronoun clarification.” I took a pull from my cider. “And here’s a freebie- for anyone else, go by whatever they choose. It’s a big wide world out there. Lots more to panic about than the gender between our ears and the sex between our legs.”
I smiled with finality and earned an appreciative, polite applause from Rhea. Bowing slightly, I felt Cloud rub my back. When I straightened, I saw her proud and happy smile.
“You’re pretty smart about this,” Rhea said.
“Lots of experience,” I said, my gaze unfocusing. “Lots and lots.”
“Any other lessons, professor?” she said with a smirk and raised eyebrow.
“Yeah, if you can, always get Scrumpy’s Cider. The cinnamon makes it taste that much better and their holiday brew is like literal Christmas.”
I dropped my hoof authoritatively on the table.
“Now, the professor is done, class is out and we’re some mares on the town, so let’s act like it!”
Rhea laughed as I led her and Cloud along into the celebrating throng of partygoers, both pony, people, and everything in between.
“Wait, what?” I said, pulling Cloud out of the way of the speakers where we could talk without yelling.
“I said, ‘Since I’ve been to San Francisco before, I can show you and Rhea around,’” she responded.
I blinked at her, trying to clear my head of the booze and music. “When did you go to San Francisco?”
“A few years ago,” she said. “Went with Sarah and my human dad.” She scrunched her muzzle up. “I’m gonna need new names. That just sounds wrong.”
She paused and suddenly barked a laugh. “Oh man! Ha! How about that! I’ve two moms and two dads now!” She shook her head. “Life, huh?”
I laughed along, though mine wasn’t as lively. January was distant from her family, Blossomforth had none. Jess and Cloud were closer to theirs, if strained on Cloud’s side from what I knew. I hadn’t really thought about my dynamic since the merge. I hadn’t thought about a lot of things, really.
Thankfully, the party was doing well to keep me distracted.
Dancing, liquor, meeting ponies and allies alike- I was having the best Halloween (or Nightmare Night) in a very long time. Rhea had even gotten into the swing of the event, breaking away from us to chat animatedly with a human dude about anime. I kept an eye on her, even if it did stray back to Cloud from time to time.
“That’s pretty wild,” I said to Cloud. “But, sure. Give us a dime tour. That’s... Better than anything I have.”
She pet my withers, smiling. “I’ll always take care of you.”
Her eyes widened suddenly and she took me bodily with both her forelegs. “I can take you to the fluffy bathrobe hotel!” she squealed.
I blushed, laughing with her enthusiasm. Cloud’s eye then caught a pair of earth ponies running to the floor to start dancing excitedly. She cocked her head at me, and, grinning, we followed suit.
Back on the dance floor, we fluttered about to the upbeat tunes. Pegasus flight dancing was a little different since I was post merge. I definitely enjoyed it more. I remembered how much January loved to dance and now that I could fly while doing it? Even better.
“I gotta say, all this fine pony booty is really representing Equestria well!” Cloud said.
“Glad to see your eyes are on the prize!” I commented.
“You’re the only prize I have my eyes on Cupcake!” she said, rubbing my cheek.
I blushed again.
“Woo! Yes! We have Cherry Cupcake!”
I rolled my eyes, my blush deepening. “Clooooooud...”
She flapped over to hug me from behind. “Aw, c’mon. You’re cute. Super, super, soooooper cute. And mine. Nom, nom, nom.” She nibbled on my ear, which made my wings... React.
“Cloud, please,” I said, almost below the hearable range the speakers allowed. I was feeling light-headed and a bit overwhelmed by all the input. “Tone it down a notch?”
She saw my serious expression, then smiled at me. “Of course.”
She flapped back into dance formation, zipping around with a silly grin.
I relaxed. I liked Cloud’s affections, but between the drinks I’d had and all the moving around and the sudden blood rushing about at her touch, I was hitting sensory overload. Just being close and dancing was good enough for now.
We went on like that for two more songs before a new voice called out, “Cloud- Cloud Kicker is that you?”
Cloud froze mid flap and her face froze in a way I knew all too well. I couldn’t help it, I giggled.
Flapping right next to her ear, I said, “What were you saying earlier about situations you’d never be in?”
Giving me a cool look, she turned to the unicorn just below us. The mare grinned up at Cloud in that way I’d grown used to in the last few days. I didn’t argue with it. Cloud was somepony special. Especially to me.
Cloud blinked and I could see her rapid-fire memory tearing through the list of ponies she knew and a split-second later, she smiled.
“Fluff! Hey, how’s it going?”
The yellow pony with purple mane and deep, maroon eyes chuckled. “Pretty good! Fancy catching you here!”
“Fancy that,” Cloud said, grinning. She turned to gesture at me with a hoof. “Hey Fluff, I want to introduce you to someone.”
We floated down to the dance floor proper and moved away from the speakers.
“Banana Fluff, this is my... Marefriend. Blossom Jane. Jane? This is Fluff.”
“Hey there,” I said, offering my hoof.
Banana Fluff took mine slowly and her eyes darted between us.
“Marefriend, huh?” she said, shaking and releasing my hoof. “You, Cloud?”
Cloud shrugged with her wings. “I’m not the pony I was,” she said with a smile. “Woke up this morning and I came with a shiny new shieldmate.” She threw her foreleg around me and pulled me in to kiss my forehead.
“Shieldmate?” I asked.
Cloud rolled her eyes. “I’ve been thinking and after saying it out loud, I don’t like ‘marefriend.’ It’s a bit young. I don’t like ‘lover’ either- makes it sound like I’m banging in a commune, and definitely not ‘partner.’ Too formal. So. Shieldmate. Just for us. Best description for you, love.”
Amused somewhat, I laughed softly. “I like it.”
Banana Fluff snorted, but she was starting to look somewhere between bashful and worried.
“Wow, well, uh... Congrats. Both of you,” she said, trying to edge away.
“Aw, now Fluffy...” Cloud released me to lean forward and nuzzle against the other mare. “Don’t be that way. We had some good times and if it all works out, we can have ‘em again. Just... Not now.”
I blinked at that.
After the merge, I guess I’d just accepted that Jess’s terms for a relationship had held out. Even though Cloud... Was Cloud, she respected love big time and treated it very seriously. Something big must have happened in the merge to make that line fly.
“Wait, what?” Banana said, sharing my confusion. “What do you mean?”
“Yeah, hon,” I said, moving to face her. “Could you clue me in too? Last I checked, Jess said she was a one-mare pony.”
Cloud blushed, chagrined. I stared into her expression and couldn’t tell if she was blushing because she forgot to tell me something or blushing because she was caught red-hoofed. I reminded myself how responsible both Cloud and Jess were and how much Jess had loved January. But... Had Cloud shared Blossomforth’s feelings?
I’d confessed my love to her and she hadn’t said no, but then so much had happened... Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. Suddenly I felt all too sober and all too nervous.
“Okay, so. I merged, right?” Cloud said, breaking into my worry.
I nodded. “That’s... What you told me. I believe you.”
“Good, ‘cause that is what happened. Part of that merge is I had to... Work out how either of me worked.
“Cloud knew you were cool with sleeping around so long as you knew you were solid. Jess didn’t want to run the risk of breaking your heart, so they compromised on something.”
“What’s that?” Banana asked.
I looked at her, a bit annoyed, but I let it pass. She was present for the conversation and if I’d stumbled on this, I’d probably be hard-pressed to keep my muzzle shut too.
“Well, it depends on Blossom here.” Cloud turned to me. I noticed the gold fire in her eyes was brighter, dancing almost. “Babe, how do you feel about me still banging around?”
That question certainly brought my brain to a screeching halt.
“What?” I said.
“Me banging other ponies, but you’re my main girl- how do you feel about it?”
I took a breath and lowered my gaze. I sat on the sudden appearance of the “She’s going to dump me” feeling and told it to let me think things through. It did, but, boy, did that feeling wring its hooves.
So, how did I feel about Cloud banging other ponies?
I loved Cloud. All of her. I didn’t want her wandering, but at the same time... I still wasn’t overly fond of sex. A bit of kissing, maybe making out, sure whatever, but sex? Blossomforth had been a virgin, but January was experienced. Way experienced. Too experienced for Blossomforth’s virgin ideas to stand against and the result was... A sexual apathy.
At least, for everyone beyond Cloud. I looked back up at my “shieldmate” and felt the warmth I associated with her bloom in me. Also the want. All this... Take-her-on-the-dance-floor-now! want.
Looking at Banana Fluff, I thought she was cute, but I wouldn’t want to do anything. Too complicated, not worth the effort. I had somepony who loved me and that was what mattered.
Wait. Back up.
I was certain of that. As certain as I was in my love for Cloud, so too was I certain of her love for me. So if she was just asking to bang around... Was that all it was? Some purely physical flings?
I realized I was fine with that. As long as she still loved me, she could bang a rock for all I cared.
I looked Cloud in the eye. “I guess... I guess I’d be okay with it, but we’d have to talk about some conditions.”
Cloud brightened instantly. “How about these conditions?” She leaned close to me and her smile made lascivious look tame in comparison. “No banging unless you’re there.”
I blinked at her, mouth open slightly. “Bwah,” I said.
“Huh?” Banana said.
“Wooo!” yelled someone from the dance floor.
Cloud chuckled at us. “Oh man, your faces. Wish I had a camera. Wait- I do.” She raised up her phone and I heard the little electronic click of a picture taken. The noise got my brain in gear.
“Wait. Wait! Cloud... Jess... You!” I said. “Are you saying, I... Have to be... Involved in all your future banging?”
“Pretty much,” Cloud said, throwing an affectionate wing around my trunk. “If I’m gonna bang now, it’s nothing but threesomes and up where everypony knows everypony else.” She nuzzled up near my ear, which just made me blush. “Because I don’t go unless my shieldmate’s with me.”
Banana’s eyes darted between Cloud and me. “Okay... Open relationship?”
I looked at Banana Fluff. “Really. Now?”
“Sorry, sorry,” she said, raising a hoof in peace. “I’m just... She’s really confusing me here.”
I turned to Cloud, my merged Jessica Cloud. I could see it in her eyes. I carried veto power now. She’d turn down Celestia if I said it made me uncomfortable and she’d be fine with the decision. Because she truly loved me. Talk about weird responsibilities.
“She’s part Cloud Kicker,” I said. “She kinda runs on confusing ponies.”
Cloud laughed, nuzzling me closer. “Sorry love. You know how a good part of me is. I figured this was a fair compromise.”
“I don’t know about fair...” I said, glancing over at Banana Fluff. “You know how I feel about three-ways.”
“‘Messy and more trouble than they’re worth,’” she quoted. “Just say the word and it’s just you and me, love. No worries.” She cocked her head with a quick eye to Banana. “We’d still be window shopping though, right?”
I sighed. I looked at Banana Fluff, who looked like she’d stepped in the biggest pile of her life. I looked at Jessica Cloud, who looked at me with implicit trust.
I saved everypony a bit of trouble, myself included. Turning to Banana, I said, “So, my human was big into genre detective and paranormal fiction, and my pony liked building things in her free time, how about you?”
Banana stared at me.
“What?” she said, flat.
“I used to collect superhero comics too, but lately, I haven’t been impressed with the offerings. I mostly read webcomics and indie stuff now. I’m a weekend, rec flyer. I sometimes make cloud courses to see if I can pull off things. I usually can’t, but... It’s fun, you know?”
Banana continued to stare at me.
“I’m sorry, I’m not getting something,” she said.
I leaned close to her, conspiratorially.
“There’s no way in all of Equestria I can keep up with Cloud,” I said, kindly. “Especially now.”
I looked over at my shieldmate, whose expression was getting wider and wider with its smile.
I looked back to Banana. “So, we’re going to try something, if you want. Before you and Cloud can bang, we need to know each other. I need to know what my shieldmate is getting into because she can talk about threesomes all she wants- I’d rather not get involved.”
“So what’s this?” Banana asked. “A sex interview?”
I shook my head emphatically. “No! Oh, Luna, nooo. It’s... Look. You wanna bang my shieldmate, I gotta be cool with you.” After a moment, I added, “Or think it’s gonna be so hot I’ll wanna bang Cloud after she tells me about it.”
Cloud’s mouth dropped at that.
“How’s that for ground rules, honey?” I said.
“I’m- I’m good,” she said, blinking slowly. A half-smile sprouting on her dumbstruck face.
“So,” I said to Banana. “This sound good?”
Banana Fluff looked at me, then to Cloud. She pawed the ground in thought.
“I like doing beading and jewelry making,” she said. “My human’s... Into photography.”
“Merged yet?” I asked, moving over to the relative quiet where Rhea was talking to her anime guy.
“No... No,” Banana said, following me. “Lilah’s letting me have a night out for fun. We’ve been trying to get some work done since she was really close to finishing a photo book before...” She gestured at herself.
“That sounds pretty cool,” I said. “I’ll buy you a drink if you both tell me all about it.”
Looking over my shoulder, I said, “You coming, love?”
Cloud grinned at me and flapped over so she was right next to me. She pecked me on the cheek.
“I’ll always come for you,” she said, her voice dripping with enough... Well, let’s just say wingboners aren’t fan theory. At least, they weren’t for me.
I rolled my eyes at her and ruffled my feathers, trying to smooth them out. “You’re gonna be the death of me, I can feel it,” I muttered.
Banana stared at me. She stared for a good minute with this unreadable expression. Finally, she looked over to Cloud and said, “You are the luckiest freaking pony in the whole, wide world.”
Cloud just looked at me in a way that definitely made me blush. “Don’t I know it.”
Adorable Cartoon Ponies Shouldn't Be Able To Get Hangovers
Storms and shadows. Thunder that sounded like gunshots. Lightning that rendered everything in black and white.
My heart raced as I flew through the gale.
“C’mon...” I groaned, straining. “C’mon...”
I shouldn’t be flying through this. It’s wrong. I can’t feel the magic. I know I’m different now, but I should still feel the magic!
“Remember that,” whispered a voice. Wasn’t that mine?
Another lightning strike. Another gunshot of thunder.
“What?!”
I swerved in midair. Not my smartest call. The storm buffeted me sideways, flipping me into a brief spin. I fought free.
Why couldn’t I even see the ground? Or a cloud to latch onto for that matter?
“Your magic. It’s all yours now. It’s important,” whispered a different voice. Yet... It still sounded like mine.
How could that be? I only had one voice. Didn’t I?
Another thunder gunshot. Except this came from a gun that pointed out of the rain.
Right. At. Me. ~ Day 13
I woke up in a tangle with a crick in my back and an intense pounding behind my eyes. Thank Luna the curtains were drawn because I couldn’t have handled light.
“Uuuurgh...” I groaned.
I blinked and was lost for all of two seconds as I thought, This isn’t my ceiling, when last night returned in a jumbled, high-speed mess.
I remembered talking with Banana Fluff. And Rhea. And Night Shade. Then I was... Yeah, I was cuddling Cloud and Banana was there and-
Oh. Oh boy.
My hangover cleared just enough that I was able to see Cloud and Banana Fluff dozing on the bed. Where I had been between them.
“Oh great,” I muttered, face-hoofing.
January’s college memories spiked. Partying till all hours. Drunken nights spent in the arms of whoever would take her. Stumbling home with her bra in her purse. Not embarrassing on their own, but as the highlight reel poured through my head, shame blossomed fresh. Mostly shame over how often January didn’t think things through.
Why couldn’t she and Cloud Kicker have merged? I thought. Maybe that would have saved me this guilty feeling. Like I cheated on my shieldmate. Even though she was right there.
I shook my pounding head at that. Just because January had a past similar to Cloud’s didn’t mean she’d mesh today. I was her and Blossomforth’s merge kid. I had to believe the magic paired us up for a reason. Though I hoped that the reason was greater than grokking Cloud’s ability to sleep with everypony on the planet.
Speaking of sleeping ponies, I couldn’t sit here between these two with an aching skull much longer. Gently as I could, I flapped my wings and pulled free of the pony pile. Cloud moved a foreleg, sleepily seeking me out and I had to smile. This only caused a bolt of pain across my forehead.
Shower. I needed a shower.
Moving a pillow to her arms, I went for the bathroom door, which was closed. Glancing around in the near dark, I realized I didn’t see Rhea on the other bed.
“Oh ponyfeathers,” I muttered.
I tried the handle and it gave. I went inside. Bracing myself, I flicked on the light and immediately regretted this decision. Pain rebounded in my head and I squinted at the toilet, weighing whether I’d need it or not.
Once the throbbing behind my eyes settled, and I decided I didn’t need to puke, I checked around. It didn’t take long. Rhea wasn’t in the bathroom.
Except... Going to the shower curtain, I took a breath. Pushing it open, I found the blue unicorn, dozing on top of a folded comforter and two pillows.
I blinked.
“Rhea?” I croaked.
She didn’t even need a nudge. She stirred, blinked, stretched, smiled and raised up her head, smacking her lips.
“Oh. Hey Blossom. How’s it going?” she said with a little yawn.
“Goooood,” I replied, looking at the cozy tub-bed. “Um. Rhea? Why are you in the tub?”
It was her turn to blink at me.
“You set this up for me,” she said.
“I did?”
“Yeah.”
“How... Drunk was I last night?”
Rhea’s face clouded slightly at the question, but she was quick with the answer.
“I don’t... Really know. You didn’t have any issues walking and getting us all in the room. I figured you were just tipsy.”
I sighed, my eyes closing.
Great.
January had a weird special talent. It wasn’t until she went to Dragon*Con a few years ago and talked with a cosplayer that it came to light.
January had been wandering the late night life, sharing a bottle (or three) of wine with some friends and she was being social. She’d chat to random passersby, dance briefly as she passed someone with a boombox and generally be a socially lubricated person. While moving around, she came across a cosplayer and stopped to heavily praise the hard work and detail. Then, because she figured she crossed a line or came off as creepy lesbo, she apologized for being a drunken party girl. The cosplayer said that January appeared sober.
Turning to her friends, who confirmed it, January had a drunken moment of clarity: whenever she drank heavily, the line between her being royally, stonking drunk and just tipsy was blurry as all hell. Even her friends who had known her for years would be hard-pressed to say whether January was just lightly drunk or, give-me-the-keys drunk. Back when they first started dating, she had surprised Jess by asking about her activities the previous night- Jess had thought her fine.
So that talent had migrated into me during the merge. Super. Drunk Blossom had Done Things.
“Okay, Rhea? Just assume I don’t remember anything after the party,” I said. Because I didn’t. “What... Happened?”
Rhea settled herself a little and frowned in thought. Her tail twitched and her right eye did... a thing that I could only assume was her checking with Night Shade.
“Well... After you and Cloud stopped dancing you came over with Banana Fluff. We all chatted a bit, then you said it was late, and yeah, it pretty much was. So, you called the van driver and got us to the curb.” She giggled, blushing slightly. “You even got Marc’s number for me before we left. Then, you made out with Cloud, loudly, and we got on the van.
“You pointed Cloud to Banana Fluff while you talked to me. They were pretty... I mean, wow. I don’t know how you did it, but you told me to ignore Cloud, ‘cause ‘she did that kind of thing all the time.’” She laughed. “And you know, you were pretty funny too. You did this, like, commentator voice and was all, ‘And here’s Cloud using the sideways swinger move.’”
Memory sparked and I said, “Outlawed in outer Manehattan due to poor taste.”
“Yeah! Sure you don’t remember this stuff?”
“Bits,” I said with a weak smile. “Go on, please?”
She gave me a look, sighed and said, “Aaaaanyway. So we got back here, Cloud kinda latched on to you and Banana looked like she was gonna take a pass at me and you grabbed her and daaaaaamn. I ain’t seen kissin’ like that outside movies.”
“Wait, wait. Details, Rhea. I did what?”
“You had Cloud on your back, bein’ all up on you. Banana was gettin’ cute on me, so you grabbed her and super kissed her or something because she pretty much did what you told her to after. Which mostly was gettin’ her wrapped around Cloud’s neck, kissin’ her a bunch.
“I asked if you needed any help, because, hey, that’s a lot of ponies, but you said, ‘Booze is my spinach’ and got us up here.
“Cloud and Banana looked like they were gonna do somethin’ else and I’m cool, but I’m not that cool and Night Shade was with me on that. So, I was gonna go wait down in the lobby, but you grabbed some blankets, set us up here and shut the door.”
“I locked you guys out?”
“Nah. You told Cloud to have fun and we talked. Conventions, video games. Stuff like that. Cloud knocked on the door a bit later. I was ready to crash, so I told you to go, like four times. Whatever y’all did after, it didn’t wake me.”
I blinked. A lot. “Was... Was that all?”
Rhea shrugged. “You said you might need the shower in the morning. You seriously don’t remember anything?”
“They’re called blackouts for a reason,” I said with a sad smile.
“Glad I only had two drinks and a Monster,” she replied. “How’re you holding up’?”
“Like I got hit by a headache truck. And... I kinda woke up between Banana and Cloud.”
“No.”
“Yeah.”
She chuckled. “Damn, girl. Miss playa over here.”
I blushed. “Please don’t. I did that back in college and...” I ran a forehoof over my wing. “I’m not really proud of it any more.”
Rhea cocked her head at me, examining me and shrugged.
“Whatever. Looks like everypony had fun.”
“Maybe...” I said, still nervous about whatever happened with Banana and Cloud.
Rhea shifted. “Hey, if you’re here for that shower, I can move. I mean, unless they’re...” She looked meaningfully out the door.
“Out like lights,” I said, with a dismissive hoof wave.
I rested my head on the tub’s lip and snorted.
“I don’t know whether to be relieved or worried more.”
“Cloud didn’t seem to mind. She kinda liked that you were all take charge and stuff. Said it was hot.”
I laughed, which just made my head ache more. Putting a hoof there, I squinted at Rhea.
“But you? You’re good?”
“Well... I’d be lying if all the hugging, kissing and whatever wasn’t weird. I’m no virgin, but that was like, a whole other level for me. But, you were nice about it and so were Cloud and Banana, I guess. Y’all didn’t make me watch and you set me up pretty good for shower crash space.” She looked at her bedding and smiled wistfully. “Wish I had this pony bod for Midwest. Last time I did this I scraped my foot on the faucet.”
I laughed again, which made my head really pound.
“C’mon,” Rhea said, getting out. “You need that shower. I can doze or watch cartoons on mute or something.”
“Thanks,” I said, smiling. “I can’t- I mean, I just-” I glanced down to collect myself and looked back at Rhea. “There was a convention a while back. When Jess and I were human and just messing around. A friend came in on us and...” I let the implications sink in.
Rhea mouthed a “Wow.”
“Yeah,” I replied. “I still feel bad about it. And I’m technically a new pony.”
Rhea snorted, eyebrow raised in amusement. “Okay, you know what? You were Miss Concerned last night. All, you okay, Rhea? How’s it going Cloud? Night Shade good too? How’s your mom Banana? All that stuff. You’re bein’ pretty hard on yourself.”
“Well, thanks. I just think I’m supposed to be the adult here.”
Rhea snorted.
“Right, ‘cause you’re so much older than me.”
“I’m thirty!”
Rhea gave me a once over.
“You don’t look thirty now.”
“Well, I have thirty human years experience and that’s what I’m sticking to.”
“Whatever,” she said, waving her own dismissive hoof.
“Someone’s more relaxed,” I replied, smiling.
She shrugged, blushing. “We talked and you’re cool. Way too physical when you’re drunk, but cool. Besides...” She glanced away, smiling at something. “Me and Night Shade talked last night too. I may be borderline anxious as hell most days, but you saved me. Least I can do is be honest right?”
“Honesty, Kindness, Generosity, Laughter and Loyalty,” I said, my smile widening.
“Damn straight,” Rhea said with a nod. “And Drunk You was all about those last night so...” She raised her hoof.
I bumped it.
It’s like the show said. Friendship is magic.
Is There A Way I Can Make Mom Mode One Of My Defaults?
Once Rhea and I got all the blankets and pillows out of the tub, I started up the shower.
In retrospect, I probably could have just started a cloud shower and avoided waking Rhea, but hungover, I drifted to January’s comfort activities. Blossomforth had only been hung over a few in her life and they... Made for firm lessons. January had a more adventurous learning curve and developed a few rules to cope with hangovers. As far as she was concerned: nothing in life can’t be fixed by standing in a shower for twenty minutes to think. This was mandatory with hangovers.
Surprise, surprise, the water did its job. Slowly, the pounding eased out of my skull, taking the slight nausea with it. The hangover must have not been that bad. Normally, I needed a glass of watered down ginger ale too.
As the aches faded, my brain woke up a bit more and I could think clearly. Mostly, I could think about last night and all the myriad decisions and things I remembered saying and doing.
Okay, I remembered getting to the party. I remembered giving a speech on trans issues- ugh, hope I wasn’t preachy. Cloud and I apparently worked out swingers rules or the initial blushes of them. I won a dance ribbon (I found it stuck to the bottom of my hoof after helping Rhea move the blankets out; she was thoroughly amused). I did Other Things.
I remembered bits. The joke in the van. Cuddling with Cloud. Rhea smiling next to me as we chatted in the bathroom. Licking Banana Fluff’s neck. But nothing whole. It was like I remembered the fact of time passing so I can tell I lost some, but what happened in that time was a complete mystery to me. Just five second youtube clips strung roughly together.
I drank some shower water. My headache receded another few degrees.
Shame rolled in after I found how little I could remember. I’d never gotten blackout drunk as a pony, though I’d done some things that embarrassed me to no end. However, as a human... I had two incidents.
The first was at a party in January’s old college town. She had graduated by this point, but she went back to the town to see some old friends, celebrate someone’s 22nd birthday and have a good time. She apparently had too good a time and after some Jose Cuervo shots, I remembered going to the bathroom, waking up on the floor of the bathroom, walking down stairs and waking up on the couch.
January apparently gave one guy a happy view of her ass because she’d dozed off on the john, tilted forward and curled up with her skirt still around her ankles. Stars all bless that the guy who found her was a drunk gentleman. Her friends reported that after checking on me he came down to report, “January’s passed out and mooning anyone who can get in the bathroom.”
They laughed, had Annie wake her, and January had enough presence of mind to pull her clothes on and stumble to the couch to pass out properly.
January had figured that was her “one” and that was before she’d flirted with alcoholism. She didn’t think it’d happen again.
Then Thursday Night happened.
January went with Jess to see a local band with Jess’s sister. Her sister was sweet on the lead guy and January was looking to have a good time. Unfortunately, she had a really good time, chugging enough booze in a short enough period to incapacitate her higher functions badly.
I remembered a blip of the ride home through a solid sheet of rain, the door opening to Haven, a bit of Jess rubbing my back, and waking up in a puddle of my own vomit in the shower.
What had happened in my memory’s absence wasn’t bad bad. January had drunk too much and mostly acted like a selfish moron. Had sex with Jess and proceeded to vomit immediately after. Fortunately, she made it to the bathroom. All and all, she’d been inconsiderate and a royal idiot, but nothing bad bad.
The badbad happened with how January handled it afterward. A few days later, when talking over with Jess the events of that night, she tossed out a word that nearly ended the relationship.
Thankfully, she and Jess worked through it and reforged. They did such a thorough job that only phantasms of that wound were in me. Still, those phantasms were haunting me. Rhea said I’d been attentive and motherly, but was that just in front of her? Had I treated Cloud right? Had Cloud treated me right?
That last made me shudder. Cloud had a bit of a streak in her. She was all about planning and thinking ahead, but never really applied it to her life. She left drama in her wake and, to be frank, that had been one of the things that kept Blossom from falling at first.
To be fair, it wasn’t serious drama, but I remembered a few of Cloud’s previous one-night specials that hadn’t understood her and ended up hurt. Cloud tried to repair the pain, but for all her love and understanding, she can’t understand somepony that doesn’t love like she does.
As I reached to turn off the shower, I heard a stumbling and the door slammed open. A brief clattering of hooves lead to the sharp clank of the toilet seat flipping up and then came the telltale song of the Drank-Too-Much.
“Sorry!” Banana Fluff gasped between retches.
I turned off the shower.
“It’s cool,” I called out.
I grabbed some towels and dried off my hooves and face. Peeking out from behind the shower curtain, I saw her mane was about to get in the way and make things even worse. I reached out and hovered over her as she emptied her stomach.
“Thanks!” she belched.
I smiled. “No problem. Just let it all out.”
It was about five minutes later before she was clear and laying next to the toilet, looking spent as all hell.
“Ow...” she said, eyes crunched close.
I’d been dripping on her back, so I toweled that off softly, then tended to myself. Once I was as dry as I was going to get without hopping outside for a spin, I flew up to the sink and got a glass of water.
“Drink this. Slowly,” I said.
She did. Once she finished it, I refilled the cup and put it next to her.
“Need anything?” I asked.
“Just sit with me a minute?”
I smiled. “Sure.”
I fanned my wings softly, letting them dry further. Banana sipped water, taking the cup in wobbly magic.
“Thanks. Guess I drank too much,” Banana said, groggy.
“We all did,” I said with a smile.
She breathed a laugh and lapsed back to a half-doze. She reached a hoof out and pressed it against my leg.
“Thanks for last night,” she said. “I’ve been feeling a little lonely since I came here. You were... You and Cloud were both really nice.”
“Hey,” I cooed, rubbing her hoof. “You’re one of Cloud’s friends. I told you how that works.”
She chortled, winced, groaned and curled a little inward.
“Let’s hold off chatting,” I said.
She nodded and I hoofed her a little more water.
Cloud showed up after another few minutes, rubbing at her eye.
“Morning. Whoa. What happened here?”
“We got a sick one,” I replied, gesturing to Banana Fluff.
Banana waved a feeble hoof.
“Anything I can do?” Cloud said, ruffling her feathers and looking way more bright-eyed than she had a right to.
I looked at Banana, my brow knit in worry.
“Banana, hon?” I said softly. “What do you like when you get like this?”
“Uh...” she croaked. “Crackers?”
Looking back to Cloud, I said, “Do you mind watching her while I fly and get some Saltines and ginger ale?”
“No problem,” Cloud said, flapping over to Banana’s side and rubbing her tenderly. “Are you okay?”
“A little headachey. I’ll get some Gatorade and ibuprofen too. You?”
Cloud shrugged her wings and cocked a smile. “I’m tough. I’m good. You go.”
“Yes, Miss Monosyllables.”
She playfully swatted me with a wing and I left the bathroom. As I got my belt and driver’s cap, I realized a weight had appeared in my gut along with Cloud. I wasn’t looking forward to us talking about last night. ~ When I returned from a nearby CVS with a bag loaded with the necessities, Cloud was talking with Banana.
“Hey,” I said, putting the bag down.
“Yo,” Rhea said, popping her head out from the tub.
I yelped and the girls all laughed.
“You planned that, didn’t you?” I said, glaring at Cloud.
She shrugged, smirking. “I plead the fifth.”
I scrunched my muzzle at her and went to Banana. “How’re you holding up?”
“Better now that she’s sleeping,” said Banana in a not-quite Banana way.
I blinked, walked closer and Banana regarded me in another not-quite Banana way. I cocked my head. “Doctor Livingston, I presume?”
She snorted, cringed. “Lilah.”
“Hey. Pleased to meet you,” I said, offering my hoof.
She shook it.
“So, Cloud’s been telling me that Banana partied like a champ,” Lilah said.
“Um...” I muttered with a weak smile. “You’ll have to take her word for it. I, um. I barely remember anything.”
Cloud’s easy smile faded and she arched an eyebrow at me. “Blackout?”
“Yeah,” I said, ducking my head. I went over to the bag and got out the ginger ale, which I poured a bit into a hotel cup and filled the rest with water.
“It won’t taste great,” I said. “But it should help with your stomach.”
“Thanks,” Lilah said, taking the cup in steadier magic and sipping slowly. She sighed. “Oh yeah. Hits the spot.”
I placed a tube of saltines next to her.
“Thanks, Mom,” Lilah said.
Rhea giggled. “You’re totally the mom here.”
I blushed. “Not Mom, I just... This is what I do. Sometimes.”
“It’s true,” Cloud confirmed, throwing an arm over my back and nuzzling me. “Any time I or Jess felt the least bit sick, Blossom or Jane would go into total Mom Mode. Never felt more pampered.”
As her muzzle passed my ear, she whispered, “Let’s talk.”
“Rhea?” I said to the unicorn draped over the edge of the tub. “Keep Lilah company?”
“We both will!” Night Shade piped up.
I smiled my thanks and followed Cloud on hoof as she flew out of the bathroom. She landed on the bed we used last night. As I fluttered up from the ground to sit on the other side of the bed, she gave me a funny look.
“You know, you don’t fly much. Casually,” she commented.
I ruffled my wings in a pegasus shrug. “Guess I’ve been groundside too much.”
“Yeah...”
Normally, I remembered Jess went right for the heart of the matter, never one to beat around the bush. Looks like her Cloud Kicker part was giving her dithering tactics. Cloud and Blossom always did prefer to joke about a nearby thing rather than talk about anything uncomfortable on their minds. I know I had the benefit of hindsight, but I could tell it complicated their relationship on a couple of occasions. Thank Luna her Jess side finally asserted.
“Any accusations for this morning?” Cloud said, almost too mildly.
Okay. Maybe not thank Luna.
I closed my eyes, phantom wounds aching in my chest.
“No,” I said, opening my eyes after a deep breath. “Learned my lesson the last time. Besides, I got most of the full story from Rhea. Total ‘Mom mode’ I believe was the feeling of the evening?”
Cloud grinned. “I would have said MILF, but that’s me. Yeah, you took care of us.” She leaned forward to nip at my ear. I blushed a bit and leaned against her head.
“You know how great it is that I can trust you to be the mom?” she murmured.
“Pretty great...?” I said, my voice thick.
“Mmm-hmm,” she responded. “Gets me all hot and bothered just thinking about it.”
I felt my blush deepening and I giggled low in my throat. My heart picked up and I was simultaneously feeling light headed and like I was an awkward teenager again with big, gnarly zits and the cutest girl in the school was talking to me. Maybe the two feelings were linked?
“They’re... They’re in the bathroom,” I muttered.
“I know...” Cloud whispered, kissing up my neck. “I’m just showing my appreciation for you last night. You were plenty appreciative. For everypony.” Her face rose into my field of vision, leaving me panting a bit. “Also, telling you that you’re on the hook after deserting me.”
“Bwuh?” My brain stalled out.
“You left me aaaaall alone with Banana.” She traced her hoof on the sheets, like some wounded school filly. “I figured you didn’t want me anymore and went to bang Rhea.”
Mixed signals mixed my approach and I couldn’t sort whether Cloud was teasing or not. Luna wept! Jess did things like this too! Aaargh. That meant the teasings were doubled and since January couldn’t sort it and Blossom was oblivious- I was going to be lost! And I was!
“I didn’t-” I started. “I just talked to-”
I noticed Cloud’s grin.
“You’re fucking with me, aren’t you?” I said, my expression flattening.
She chuckled. “Yep. But still, missed you last night, Cupcake.” She kissed me on the cheek and I smiled. “Glad you came back though.”
My brow knit in worry. “Um. When I came back? What...?”
“Oh, you made it a night to remember. Nopony went to sleep unhappy.” She winked.
I blushed even deeper.
“I don’t... You know...”
“I do,” she said and she wrapped a wing around me in a light hug. “Sorry to hear you don’t remember it. You were very, very good.”
“Not like... Thursday?”
Cloud sighed, shaking her head. “The very opposite of.”
I rubbed my hooves together. “I’m glad it all worked out okay, but...”
“Let’s keep you to a two drink max for the next few occasions,” Cloud offered, smiling.
“Oh thank Luna!” I laughed. “I’m just not- You know.”
She nodded. “Yeah. You know I don’t really think you abandoned me, right?”
I nodded. “Yeah. I get it. I guess Drunk Me wanted to make sure Rhea didn’t feel awkward. I mean, kidnapping. That was like, earlier yesterday.”
Cloud nodded, and I could see her libido gearing down as she thought. I was fine with that. I still had a bit of a hangover and the pounding blood felt simultaneously good and- Dammit, my wings!
As I eased my wings out of stiffness, Cloud said, “Yeah... Yeah. More I think about it, more I say you made a good call there.” She winked at me. “Guess I’ll just have to make it up to you when we aren’t worried about our guest.”
“Yeah,” I muttered, putting a hoof on my left wing to get it down.
“Glad you think I’m hot,” Cloud said, pecking my cheek and floating to the ground.
She then strutted, totally strutted, flicking her tail back and forth all the way to the bathroom. At the door, she gave me another lusty wink and went inside.
I sighed and slumped on the bed with a smile. “That mare’s gonna be the death of me,” I said, softly. “A slow, happy, enjoyable death.”
If Only I Was As Good With My Self Esteem As I Am With FedEx
We did a late check-out. Cloud was pretty keen on us relocating to the “fluffy bathrobe” hotel, but while she and Rhea were all bright eyed and bushy tailed (literally in Rhea’s case), Lilah and I needed a little more rest and recovery.
This proved to be a lucky break since it meant we were still in our room when the front desk reported our luggage had arrived.
“Really?” Cloud said on the phone, her eyes on me.
I smiled from behind the glass of water and ginger ale I’d been sipping. I like to think it was my best cat-got-the-cream grin.
“Yeah, that’s- That’s ours alright. We’ll pick it up when we check out. Thanks.”
Cloud hung up. She looked at me.
“How... Did you do that?”
“Remember,” I said, setting my glass down. “I deal with FedEx and UPS on a daily basis.”
Cloud smirked and arched an unimpressed eyebrow. “Uh-huh. Spill it, Miss Mysterious.”
“You never let me be mysterious,” I said, mock pouting.
“Because you stink at it. C’mon. Talk.”
“Okay,” I said. “Remember all the Q and A with the cops when we first got here?”
She nodded.
“Well, during that, one of the parade organizers, Chris, overheard me talking about where our luggage was. He asked if we needed any help getting it back. I told him if he could give me ten minutes with Facebook, and footed a FedEx bill, I could take care of the rest.”
Cloud looked at me for a minute, then dawning comprehension washed over her face.
“You didn’t,” Cloud said.
“Now you know why I was so brain tired during the news questions.”
“What happened?” Rhea asked. “Did I miss something?”
“No, you’re fine,” Cloud replied. “You have to know exactly how January and Blossomforth work to figure this out.”
Looking at Rhea, she said, “She used our FB page, made contact with a nearby Guard, had a pegasus go and get our luggage, take it to a FedEx location...”
“And had the city pick up the bill on a Standard Overnight delivery,” I finished, laying back on a pillow, satisfied smile in place.
Rhea turned that over for a bit. Cloud kissed me on my head and called me her clever filly. I cooed happily.
“Okay, um, not to sound like a bitch, but why would the city do that?” Rhea asked. “I mean, San Francisco, yay, but that’s kind of a hassle.”
I looked at Rhea, then Cloud, happy somepony was letting me have my moment. Then, in my best newscaster voice, I said, “And on a happier note, parade organizer Chris Morgan helped a pair of pony heroes by footing the bill on their very lost luggage.”
“Public Relations?” Cloud said.
“Chris is running for town councilman in a month,” I said. “He just helped a bunch of adorable ponies with their magical luggage crisis. Even if you don’t like ponies, you gotta love a guy helping some folks find their luggage after a tragedy.”
Sticking her head out of the bathroom, where she had been brushing her teeth, Lilah said, “He’s got my vote.”
An hour later, we were in the lobby, Cloud signing off on the FedEx boxes that had our stuff and setting Rhea, her and myself up at the “fluffy bathrobe” hotel.
While she did that, I called Chris. After going through his assistant, I thanked him for the hotel room and getting our luggage back.
“Seriously, you’ve been a big help,” I said. “We’d be afloat without you.”
“Don’t worry about it,” he said, laughing. “My daughter loves the show. I’d be in deep if I didn’t help a couple of characters from it.”
I laughed too. It was only a little strained.
Lilah gave me an odd look and I rolled my eyes, mouthing, “Politician.”
She nodded and I wrapped up the conversation.
Once I tucked away my phone, I asked, “Sure you’re going to be okay?”
Lilah laughed softly. “I’m fine, Mom. I can afford a cab home and I promise I’ll spend it on the couch with my cat. I could say the same about you, you know. You look exhausted.”
“More talking with Chris than the hangover. Pegasus metabolism and all.”
She gave me a skeptical eye, but eventually nodded.
“If you say so,” she said. “You were certainly going hard last night.”
I took a breath. Though Cloud had said she was fine with my actions, I still felt uncomfortable that I’d lost control. Yes, I’d gone into doting mom mode, but that was no excuse for the fact that I drank myself into a blackout. Maybe if Thursday Night had never happened for January, I’d be more forgiving. Yet, it remained a prominent enough memory to make me worry.
I nodded at Lilah’s comment noncommittally. “So I hear.”
She gave me an assessing, cool look.
“You’re worried about it, aren’t you?” she asked.
I looked at her, shuffling my hooves.
“I blacked out,” I said. “Wouldn’t you be uncomfortable?”
Lilah snorted and tossed her mane. “Regrets are for the dead. I gave up on them a long time ago.”
I blinked. “So you’re fine with what happened? I mean, Banana was driving the car, but you were kinda present,” I said, cocking my head at her.
She shrugged. “It was... New. But, hey, pony in my head had a good time and I experimented enough in college to know I’m at least a two on the Kinsey scale. So now...” she said with a sigh and a gentle rub of her temple. “I just sleep the booze off and get back to work tomorrow.”
I looked her over again. “How... Old are you?” I said.
Lilah gave me a gimlet stare and lowered her hoof. “Were you a guy before or something?”
“That’s pretty sexist. It’s just a question,” I said, wrinkling my snout at her.
“Doesn’t answer my question,” she responded, coolly.
“Does it matter?” I responded, icier.
“Because ladies know better than to ask their age.”
I gave her a withering look. “I was 30. Proud of it. I had a gray hair or two and was looking forward to my wrinkles.”
“Ah. So, a super hippy then.” She glanced at the gift shop as if that was the end of the conversation. As she appraised a t-shirt that proclaimed its wearer loved San Francisco, she said, “I was 35.”
I rolled my eyes. Somepony was a little self-absorbed.
“Was that so hard?” I sighed.
She cocked her head at me, an unimpressed look on her face. “You know, you were more fun drunk.”
That... Hit a sore spot. I backed up a step, my wings ruffling in surprise.
“She’s actually the most fun sober,” Cloud said from behind. “Because then she gets all geeky and speaks from her heart rather than get horny and mutters from her crotch.”
I turned and just behind me were my shieldmate and Rhea. Rhea’s blue magic was wrapped around the handle of a nearby hotel luggage cart, which held our stuff. Cloud had a bit of a sharp look in her eye.
“Take it easy, Cloud,” Lilah said with a friendly smile. “We were just chatting.”
“Sounds like you were talking crap about my shieldmate,” Cloud responded, moving to stand beside me. “Last night was good, Lilah. Leave it there.”
“Hey, she was the one who got all snitty about it,” Lilah responded.
Cloud glanced at me. I looked away.
“It’s the blackout,” I said, eyes on the floor. “You guys said you had a fun time, and that I was fine, but I feel I screwed up by drinking too much. I feel like I let you down.”
“You have serious issues,” Lilah snorted.
I looked back at her, my jaw setting. “I know. I’m in therapy.”
Lilah rolled her eyes. “Well good for-”
She froze. Seriously, all of a sudden, she went still as a statue with her mouth open and her eyebrows in the middle of changing expressions. Not a muscle twitched, not an eye blinked. I wasn’t even sure if she was breathing.
Cloud, Rhea and I waited a few seconds. We looked to one another. Cloud waved a wing in front of Lilah’s frozen face.
“You killed her,” Cloud said.
“I did not!” I retorted.
Slowly, the banana yellow unicorn’s mouth started to close. Slowly, she started to blink. She took a breath and relaxed.
“Sorry about that,” she said. “Lilah’s in time out.”
“You can do that?” Rhea asked.
Banana Fluff nodded, a bit remorsefully. “We’re not on the best terms sometimes. I think she’s more scared than she lets on.”
Half of her whole face spasmed. It was disturbing to watch.
Eyebrows knitting, Banana said sharply, “Stop it, Lilah.”
Her expression mellowed, but that just showed the apology on her face.
“I’m sorry she said those things to you Blossom. And, I think it stinks you’re upset today, because for what it’s worth, you were totally cool last night. You really made me feel welcome with you and Cloud. If all this blows over, I’d like to hang out. Just us. No alcohol.”
I blinked, trying to resolve the serious amount of weird suddenly slapping me in the face.
“No, it’s...” I started. I cleared my throat and went on. “You don’t have to apologize for her. Lilah’s entitled to her opinion.”
“Not at the cost of you,” Cloud said, wrapping an affectionate wing around me.
“Seconded,” Rhea said, bumping me from the other side with her shoulder.
My face warmed up considerably and I ducked my head to hide the blush. “Guuuuuys...” I muttered.
Banana smiled, a bit ruefully.
“Hey, look. I should get going. I feel like plot and Lilah’s pitching a fit.”
She walked over to Rhea and gave her a quick hug, moved to Cloud and held her tighter, adding a nuzzle, then she stopped at me. She put a hoof on my foreleg.
Looking me in the eye, she said, “You. Are. Awesome.” And pulled me into a death grip embrace.
“Thanks,” I managed to gasp. Once she released me, I added, “We can go with you, if you want. You don’t have to recover on your own.”
She nodded. “Thanks, but sometimes a mare has to deal with her own problems, you know?”
“But ya don’t have to do ‘em alone. Ponies stick together,” Rhea said, raising a hoof.
Banana smiled and bumped it.
“You got my number?” Banana asked.
“Yeah,” Cloud said.
“Gimme a day to recover. I’ll be in touch,” she said with a nod. Then, flicking her tail, she went outside.
I wanted to say more. I wanted to stop her and reaffirm all I knew about friendship and love. I wanted her to not feel alone. Instead, I watched her pass through the sliding doors and to the curb.
Banana spoke to the valet, who indicated a nearby taxi. She said her thanks and went over to the cab, whose driver waited sitting on the hood of his car. As she approached, he rose and opened the door. She paused just outside the cab to look back. I rose up so that I could wave with both of my hooves. Cloud waved too and Rhea even whistled.
Banana Fluff smiled. It was a little sad, but it was a smile. She hopped into the cab and the driver went around to his side.
“Screw watching,” I said.
“What?” Cloud asked.
But I didn’t answer. I flapped my wings once, twice and zoomed out the hotel.
The cab’s engine turned over.
I flew up right on Banana’s window and tapped it.
She started at the noise and I smiled.
“One! Day!” I said through the glass.
She smiled back, sadness fading.
“Good luck Banana! You too Lilah! I forgiiiiiive you!”
Banana laughed and I rapped on the roof of the cab. The taxi driver gave me a thumbs up. The cab rolled out of the carport and slid into traffic.
I lowered myself to the ground, still smiling. Cloud came up beside me.
“Feel better?” she asked.
“A bit. We need to call her in a day.”
“Mmm,” Cloud said.
We sat quietly, enjoying the moment.
“Do you want to move, honey?” Cloud said. “We’re blocking traffic.”
Alls Well That Ends Well (even if the ending is rather abrupt)
"Don't do that," I grumbled from my desk. My head rested on its cool, wooden surface, my mane splayed onto the keyboard. "Have sympathy. I've been brought low."
"Oh?" she said, and managed to get most of the amusement out of her voice. "Why's that, honey?" She walked over to me and leaned against the desk.
"Because I am stuck," I said with a sigh. I pushed up from my slump, and after getting my mane out of my face, shut my laptop. "Stuck, stuck, stuck."
"Is this about that cloud server thing you're working on with Erishy?" Cloud asked.
I shook my head. "No, no, that's fine. We're almost done with the programming. It's about the- well. Y'know."
Cloud rolled her eyes. "Oh, Blossom. Don't tell me you're still obsessing over your 'real pony fic?'" she teased.
"Well. I am," I grumbled. I pushed back from the desk and rubbed at my face. "It needs an ending, Cloud, and I just- I can't…" I blew a raspberry, and slid out of my chair. With a sufficiently dramatic sigh, I flopped down onto my thinking couch. "I can't come up with anything. Zip. Zilch. Total blank. Nada."
Cloud clucked her tongue and plopped down next to me. Specifically, my head. "Could this be because there really wasn't an ending?" she said. "I know you did start that thing without an ending in mind."
"I had an ending!" I protested. "It just… it didn't fit with reality."
Cloud laughed. "That's what stories do, hon," she said. "Or did you not learn that in journalism school?"
"No, no…" I said, rubbing at my face. "Learned that, but usually… usually there's something of an ending there. But this? It just kind of…"
"Petered out?" Cloud supplied.
I sighed. "Yeah." I turned my head so I could look at my workroom.
One part hardware store, one part body shop, and a little nook where I could do writing at an old desk Twilight gave me. Never in my life, would I have seen myself ending up here: the lead research and development technician of Kinder Industries. This could only have happened after I woke up merged. And I had no idea how to get here. Not without writing a long, winding narrative that, really, would only be interesting to me, Erishy, and our friends. Like the prose version of a vacation slideshow- nopony needed that.
"I hate when life isn't story shaped," I declared, facing Cloud again. "It really harshes my ability to recount our adventures."
"Ah yes, our adventures," Cloud mused. She affected a showmare's pose. "Gasp! As we went sightseeing in San Francisco! Wonder! As we flew back to Atlanta, coach! Chill! At the many, many hours we spent reconciling our two identities into one."
I made a face. "Ugh, don't remind me," I said. "I still have nightmares about being stuck in a governmental office, filling out impossible amounts of paperwork."
"I know," Cloud joked. "Because you sometimes wake me up in the middle of the night screaming, 'Not another form!'" She grinned.
I blushed. "They just seem so real…" I said, rubbing the back of my head.
I shuffled a bit on the couch so I could lay my head in Cloud's lap. "So, my options are to recount everything we did from San Francisco onward, which would be an enormous hassle and doesn't guarantee it's a solid story anyway, or... make something up that might really confuse our friends."
Cloud smiled and shrugged, carding a hoof through my mane. "That sounds about right to me," she said. "And I'd rather you didn't confuse our friends. Especially since Night's dropping by for dinner and game night this Saturday."
"Kay," I said. I made a mental note to make pasta earlier.
I sat up and turned around so I could face Cloud straight on. "Get out. Really?"
"Yup!" she said.
"Aw, yes!" I cheered. "I totally called it. Especially after they met up post-split. It was like all their human baggage was gone."
"Technically, all their human baggage was gone," Cloud pointed out.
"Details, details," I said, with a wave of my hoof. I paused. "That reminds me- have you heard from Rhea lately?"
Cloud shook her head. "Not since she said she was doing that travel job in Canada," she said.
"I'll reach out," I said, rubbing my chin with a hoof. "Or have Night do it. They're still really close, right?"
Cloud smirked at me. "Yes. You're the one who told me they were keeping up with one another, dear," she said.
"Right, right. Ugh. Been in the shop too long," I said, with a crooked smile.
"Then maybe you should come out of the shop," she said. "And just be done with your story. Axe it."
My eyes widened in horror, and I reeled back. "Cloud! I can't cancel it. It's a story!" I hissed.
"One that you haven't published anything for in three years," she countered.
I opened my mouth, then closed it. My ears lay back against my head. "Point."
"And, whenever it comes up you get grumpy."
"Point again."
"And, thanks to a million legal factors, it's pretty much fanfiction, so you're not even getting paid."
"Point, the third," I agreed. I rubbed at my face. "But I can't just… axe it. It may not be my best story, but the least I can do is gracefully close the curtain."
Cloud shrugged. "I don't know what else to tell you, love. Besides that it's pretty clear you've moved on."
I snorted. "No kidding. Every time I re-read it, I go- yeesh, I've come a long way in three years." I grinned at her and leaned forward to run a hoof through her mane. "And so have we."
She kissed the inside of my fetlock in return. "Yeah, we have," she murmured pleasantly.
"And I want to share that," I said, with a sigh.
Cloud scooted across the distance and pulled me against her. I rested my head along her chest, listening to her heart.
"I want to share that we made it back to Ponyville okay," I said. "That- that we moved in together, and we have a nice house with a nice yard, and Phouka gets to run around in it whenever she wants."
Cloud laughed and stroked my mane.
"I want to share that moment when the Elements of Harmony kicked Discord into the next Stone Age-"
She groaned.
"So Night, Rhea, Banana, and Lilah all separated and were the healthier for it," I continued. "I want to share that our parents accepted us. I want to share how Equestria opened up what amounted to an airline terminal for interdimensional travel in nearly every country and major city on Earth. I wanna share being a part of ushering in a new technological age in Equestria! I want-" I slumped and shook my head. "I just want to get on with my life."
Cloud flipped my bangs out of my face and kissed my forehead. "That's the first sensible thing you've said this whole discussion."
I harrumphed. "I hate it when I'm sensible."
I slid down so my head was in Cloud's lap again. From this position, I could see the light catch the silver ring with a blue stone that dangled from the necklace she wore. I reached up tenderly and touched it.
"You know, I'm so glad you said yes," I said, softly.
"Of course I said yes, silly," she said, smiling at me. "I love you."
"I love you, back," I replied.
She leaned down and kissed me, warm, and soft, and familiar. Cloud kisses were the best in my book. Especially this Cloud, who was all mine. All it took to make her a one-mare gal was a magical event that dramatically changed aspects of her personality.
When we parted I smiled. "But the waterfalls helped, right?"
Cloud laughed and carded her hoof through my mane. "Yes, Blossom, the waterfalls did help," she assured me.
"Awesome," I said. "I sweated that for months. I was so glad we went on that flight trip." I made a face. "You know, RJ thought I was being ridiculous. About wanting the right moment and all."
"RJ confessed her feelings for Erishy before they were nearly crushed by a falling barn," Cloud pointed out. "She's not exactly the romantic type."
"Well, she's romantic enough to ensure that Erishy and I don't have overlapping weddings," I pointed out. "So she can't be totally thick."
"Mmmm, she's not the one I'm interested in, either," Cloud murmured and nuzzled me. "And since we're off the subject..." She rubbed a hoof pleasantly on my chest. "Does this mean your story's over? No more angsting?"
I sighed, and gave myself completely to her ministrations. "Yeah. Yeah, it's done," I admitted. "I'll put in something about… I dunno. I'll say that we're okay, but the story ended when I saw Banana off. Freeze frame on characters, Animal House text beneath- finish on some kind of ending."
"Good," she said, kissing my cheek. "Because I'd like to get started with you." She started kissing down my neck.
"Oh?" I replied, leaning into the contact.
"Mmmhmm," she said. She trailed kisses from my neck to my wing. It quivered in anticipation.
"Well then," I said. I caught her as she kissed my wing joint and turned her head so we could look one another in the eye. "Let's get started on our happy ending."
"I like the way you think, gadget girl," Cloud said, and kissed me again. My Cloud, my tender kissing, bamf marefrien- fiancée. Yeesh. I still had trouble remembering that.
She released me and hopped off the couch. "See you upstairs?" she purred.
"Aw, you don't wanna do it here?" I asked with a crooked smile.
"I don't bang where there's heavy tools. Call it ingrained shop habit," she said. She turned toward the door, swishing her tail at me.
I laughed. "Okay, that's a story. Who lost fingers and when?" I asked, and rolled off the couch.
"You'll have to get it out of me, Blossom Jane," she teased, with a little wiggle of her rump. She flapped her wings and zipped up the stairs to the bedroom.
"Cloud Tempest," I said, wings flared as I prepared to fly after her. "It would be my pleasure."
