Across the Dimensional Divide

by StrawberryGamer

First published

You ever get that feeling you get when life, the universe, and everything hates you and decides you'd be better off as a mare in another dimension, but that universe hates you too? Because that's me. Right now.

I have just fallen victim to an accident involving dimension travel. Now I am a pony, living a life similar, yet vastly different from my old one. I'm being thrown into adventures, though they may be just ordinary days. It's crazy when you think about it. Between meeting old and new friends, figuring out what happened to send me here, and uncovering a hidden secret involving the ponies of this realm, I've got my hooves full.

I just want to go home. Someone, please help me.


Written, proofread, edited, and cover by myself.

Is this a dream?

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My head was ringing. It hurt. Oh powers that be, it hurt so much. I could remember what happened yesterday. I went to school, which was boring, did a little homework, which was also boring, played video games, which was not boring, and role-played, which was the best thing I ever thought of doing that day. I mean, seriously, my pal, bud, amigo, or whatever the fudge you wanna call her, Jenny, Jennifer, Jennimiah, Jenkins, Jo-I'm going off on a tangent. I tend to do that a lot. My mind wanders endlessly.

Anyway, aside from my boring Wednesday, I had absolutely nothing suspicious. After all, I was only 16, and I didn't even have a learners permit yet. I personally blame my mom for that. She can screw me over sometimes. Metaphorically speaking, that is.

Goddammit! I keep tangenting! Yeah, it's a fudging word now. Fudge… Why not fuck? I'll tell you why, it's because I'm funny.

Back to my head, which had strangely stopped hurting as I was tangenting, was now back at full throttle. Fudge, I was reminded of how much my head hurt. Why me? Why did it have to be a school day? Maybe I can just take a Tylenol and bear it to my island of one. That's the divider between the two lanes where I wait for the bus. For some reason, several days ago, the whole thing was covered in rainbow-y aquarium gravel. Not that I cared. It did make my wait a bit more colorful. I'm starting to tangent again. Fudge.

I opened my eyes to see a smiling face in front of my own. Now, don't assume I was sleeping with someone. No one is going to say anything along the lines of "good morning Sunshine" or some shisno like that. Why am I using the word shisno like that? Because it, while may be the wrong usage, is funny nonetheless.

Where was I? Oh yes, Creepy Smileyface McGee. It was actually my big Pikachu plushie. I dubbed him "Pikazilla" because my other Pikachu is only a few inches tall while this one is pushing it at two feet. I never really measured though. It's just a wild guess.

Pokémon is big to me. While the show, in recent years, has tumbled, I still enjoy the games and, yes, even the plushies. Glaceon was my favorite, but Pikachu was a close second. But while I enjoy talking about my life, it will come bit by bit as filler material.

Why?

Because. I'm a Troll. Trolololol

Taking my gaze away from Pikazilla's smiling face, I rolled over. I stopped mid-roll. Something was not right… at all…

I felt… how should I put this? Different. I can't say "not normal" because I didn't believe in normality. It was just a matter of opinion. I mean, one person's definition of normal may be different than another's. Me? I don't have a definition of normal. To me, everything is normal, and yet, at the same time, nothing is. It's my opinion, and if you don't like it, you can go shove some fudge up your ass. Or you could eat it, which I prefer. Please don't waste fudge. What would Smokey the bear think? Wait… that's wrong, even for a tangent.

My body felt out of line, and, though I wanted to investigate this, I needed the time to. I finished turning over to look at my alarm clock. It wasn't ringing, and the only other noise is the radio, playing its lovely music. It was a 80s song, I think… I really didn't follow music much, and I especially didn't follow the artists behind it. I checked the time.

4:37 am.

Huh…

It's pretty early. I guess my mindset likes fudging me up like that. Oh crapbaskets, I just got the weirdest image of a dude covered in fudge. Damn… Why does weird shit like to pop into my head at the most awkward moments?

Oh, before I forget. My DSi serves as my alarm clock. It sits on my bookshelf, next to my collection of Warriors books and Halo Mega Bloks sets.

Yes, I am into the Warriors book series as well as the Halo series. I even collected their Mega Bloks sets. Shall I list everything? No, that would waste your time. Maybe after school.

Anyway, I took a casual glance around my room. Nothing much, really… My closet, which the door was closed on, my dresser, which had the Covenant section of my Halo sets, my big white box with a black suitcase on it, my blue desk, with a desk lamp and laptop on it, and my entertainment section, composed of a 24 inch flat screen, a DVD player, and my Xbox 360. Hold on… laptop? I don't own a laptop. I borrow it from my mom for schoolwork. And didn't my dresser have four shelves, not three? Not to mention I never close my closet door. And I'm pretty sure I have a collapsible chair, not a stool. No, that wasn't the weirdest part. My door had another smaller door, splitting at about four feet up, with what I could guess as the "Saloon door" style. You know, the one that's a two-way push? Yeah, that kind. I know it was still dark, and I was tired, but I know anomalies when I see them.

Speaking of anomalies, my head stopped hurting. I guess that means no Tylenol for me! I must be really ignorant to not notice that. Then again, I can tone out almost anything. What's annoying about it is that it's always unintentional. It just. Fucking. Happens. There, I said fuck. You happy internet!?

The song on the radio turned to one I really liked, and I bobbed my head back and forth in enjoyment, when a tuft of light blue, maybe dark cyan, hair came into my vision.

What? I didn't have cyan hair.

I was a brownhead. Brown hair, brown eyes. It's the way I rolled. I was Caucasian as well, but you don't care about my looks, do you? Please, don't say you do. It makes you look like stalkers.

I moved a hand to swat it away, when it passed by my vision. I… didn't have a hand.

What. The. Fuck!?

I nearly flipped out. I rotated it and flexed my whole arm. Everything felt out of place, like my joints were inverted. This stub that, if you put it in the light emanating from my DS, looked like a hoof somewhat, except it was a bright yellow. I had to wonder a few things… one of which was that I was dreaming, and that I was a pony. I thought it was ridiculous, but I don't shoo things away easily.

Yes, I am a closet brony, and only my friends know it. Well, some of them. And my 7-year-old brother. I think I may have inadvertently converted him…

Welcome to the herd, cockbite.

Nah, he's too young to stick with it. Only older peoples could see the true extent of Lauren Faust's genius. The little girls the show was meant for just thought it was cute. If I had to pick which pony was my bro's fav, I'd say Vinyl Scratch. She was third on my list, behind Lyra Heartstrings and Derpy Hooves/Ditzy Doo. Yeah, I'm a sucker for background ponies. Applejack is fourth though.

Anyway, I flexed my hoof around a bit, surprised when I found out it had almost complete circular motion, and then, decided on the moment of truth. I took off my blanket. What greeted me was the rest of the pony body.

I was yellow, the same as the hoof and looked a bit dull in the dark. But everything has a bit of grayscale in the dark. I looked to my flank, and sure enough, there was a cutie mark there. Score! *ahem* I mean… It's okay. It looked like a more basic version of Celestia's sun cutie mark. Just a yellow spiked circle. It also had some fainter lines, which I guessed were rays of sunshine. It was still a little boring. But, I found something even cooler.

Wings.

I know, right? Wings are the best. You can fudging fly with them. That meant I was a Pegasus.

U mad bro? U jelly?

I mad.

Actually, a dozen thoughts crossed my head, ranging from this is so cool to fuck biscuits on ice with a spoon shoved up its ass. I eventually mentally slapped myself. A stinging feeling came across my cheek and looked to see my left wing extended. I guess my wings helped slap me too. My thoughts must have transferred to muscle movement. Note to self: use that to advantage in flight training.

Speaking of which, what was I gonna do about walking? I was a pony and, last time I checked, ponies were quadrupeds, and had a different anatomy, especially in their legs. I decided to test that though, as I rolled around to get in the "Lyra" seating position. With a push of my wings, I would drop down to all fours and make my way to the door without a hitch.

Thank the One Eyed One Horn Flying Purple People Eater its only 4:40 in the morning.

I managed to push myself off the bed, and stand up, but that was about it. I tried to take a step forward, but that resulted in me losing my balance and flopping on the floor. Fudge, muscle memory has failed me. I guess instincts don't give you movement. Dammit. I decided to go from Plan A to Plan Negative Zero! I'd save Plan Negative Purple for a last resort. I looked back at my legs, sprawled across the floor. Then I looked back at my wings, which were also sprawled out. I let them tuck back in. It still felt really weird though. Then I checked my cutie mark again. I guess I was a ray of sunshine when I wanted to be. Lastly, I checked what I had been distracted from checking when I discovered I had wings. My tail.

It was the same dark cyan hair that adorned my head, but what was odd was that it had two pink stripes. Damn, I was stuck with that color, wasn't I? Shisno…

Since I was stuck with the color, I decided to ignore it for now. I crawled over to the stool and sat myself upon it. I flipped open the laptop and then realized something very important.

I have no fingers!

I experimentally typed a key, and to my surprise, it worked. I typed another, and another, until I entered my password and logged in to the computer. I went to the internet, and then to YouTube. I searched for pony walking videos, and, lo and behold, there was a video of Twilight Sparkle walking. I watched and rewatched that walking cycle until I was sure I knew how to do it. I exited the internet window and shut the laptop. Then I got off the stool and stood up.

Okay, here goes nothing…

I took a step, then another, then another. After a minute or two, I was full on trotting. I kept trotting in circles, until my DS alarm went off at 5:00. I quickly turned it off, again, with surprise at how useful these hooves are. I chalked it all down to the passive magic MLP ponies had. Couple that with the fact that this was still a dream, and I was set.

Now, one thing remained in my mind. What to do with the dream. I guess I could go to school as a pony. It seemed legit. Maybe I'd meet some more ponies. We would be pony buddies! What do pony buddies do? Maybe they sit around and do pony things. But what kind of pony things? You know what, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

But wait… This could be a nightmare. I could be the only pony on this planet. What would they do to me? Would they send me to a lab to be experimented on? Oh no, that would simply not do. Maybe I should stay hidden for the remainder of the day. One more thing needed to be done. I needed to see my face.

I slowly pushed open the door, thanking the brownies in the kitchen that there was no doorknob for this lower door. Well, I suppose I could have used my magic hooves to open the door. I'm actually quite thankful for that though. Since the door was about four feet high, I made a guess that I was about three feet tall. A bit short, but they didn't call it "My LITTLE Pony" for nothing. I was a bit peeved at that, but it was a minor inconvenience compared to actually being a pony.

I crept out of my room and looked around. Everything seemed bigger. The blue dresser in the hall seemed slightly shorter, but, again, it was a dreamscape, and I didn't give a fudge. I also noticed all the other doors were like mine, and that seemed to throw me off slightly. I mean, it isn't that big of a stretch when you think about it, and I was thinking about it a little too much. I mean, this seems a bit too real to be a dream, and a bit too odd to be reality… However, I just think it's just me being paranoid. I always was paranoid at weird times. I knew it too, but I couldn't help myself.

I took a peek inside the room of the little brother I mentioned I had. It seemed normal, except for the dresser, which was one foot shorter. The 19 inch flat screen TV was still there, as was the PlayStation 2. His box of toys was still there, and so was his bookshelf, which was filled with Magic Tree House books. I liked that book series. It was rather cute sometimes. Wait, did I say cute? Oh, whatever… I'm tangenting again, and I don't seem to care anymore. It's not that big of a problem anyway.

At least, it wasn't until I laid my pony eyes on my brother's racecar bed. It was slightly shorter than normal, but it wasn't the bed that made me stand there, mouth agape.

It was a green unicorn colt. It was my brother.

He was sound asleep in his bed, unaware of the change that has befallen him. He looked… cute. Do all colts look cute? There weren't many colts in the show, so I wouldn't know. Everything kinda looked cute in the show anyway. I like cute things anyway. That reminds me, where are the cats?

We have two cats. One male and one female. The male's name is Oreo, while the female's name is Ginger. Ginger is a very shy cat and Oreo is territorial and slightly overweight. *coughfatcough* I turned around and left my brother's room and saw the Alpha Cat sitting at the top of the stairs. He was staring at me, as if to say. "Feed me or die." I rolled my eyes and smirked.

One sec, dude. Let me go do something first.

I made my way across the hall to the bathroom. It looked normal, again, except for the sink being lower to the ground. I ignored that for now. I'm just going to tangent again.

So here I was, in some kind of crazy dream. What a wonderful way to spend this rare time of self-awareness. Oh well, at least it felt real enough. I found that this body wasn't too hard to control. It was probably instinct after all. It just needed a kick. Was the whole dream world populated by ponies or was it a human-pony combination? Based on the doors, I'd venture a guess to say it was the latter. Humans used those doors, not ponies. I'm sure ponies could use them, considering I could use the keyboard and DS without incident. I guess it was more convenient though. I seem to be guessing a lot of things though. I guess it was because I don't know much about the situation, other than the obvious. There I go again, guessing things.

I smiled to myself. This was a good dream. Even if it wasn't, I think I could handle it.

I then began to wonder the status of my mane. If there is one thing I hate, its bedhead. It always sticks up, and I have to soak it to get it back down, as well as the fact that I need to keep my hoodie up to keep it that way. It always feels weird, so I like to keep it down. I turned to look at the bathroom mirror and gasped.

I stared at the mirror. The pony in the reflection stared back, her face filled with shock.

I… I don't believe it… I'm a mare.

Dealing with it.

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Yeah, yeah… Laugh it up at my expense. I honestly didn’t want this. Okay, turning into a pony would be cool, but a mare was pushing it big time. I stared at that mirror for the longest time. I took note of my appearance. I was definitely a mare. While stallions had a wider muzzle, definitely befitting of a man, a mare’s muzzle was more… well, I don’t want to go into detail about it. It kinda ended in a rounded point, with a – oh screw it. You’ve seen the show, obviously. You know exactly what the fudge I’m talking about.

My face was definitely feminine, there was no doubt about it. It kinda pissed me off. I scowled at it, and the reflection reflected my actions. Damn, I was cute when I scowled. Wait, no! I am not cute! I took note of my eyes, which were a dark cyan, same as my hair. I would have liked those eyes, if it wasn’t for the eyelashes adorning the outer corners. Yep, that settles it.

I’m a fudging girl.

I looked at my mane. It was long and uneven, kinda like Rainbow Dash’s mane, and, upon another review, the tail was styled the same way. Thankfully, all the hairs were flat down and not sticking up annoyingly. There were two pink stripes running down my mane, same as my tail.

Let’s do a mental review of my body.

Wings? Check.

Fur? Yellow.

Mane and tail? Dark cyan with two pink stripes.

Eyes? Dark cyan.

Four legs, ending in hooves? Check.

Cutie mark? Sun with added sunshine.

Gender? Female.

Not exactly a Twilight Standard checklist, but I’m not that organized.

Okay, after getting over my initial shock of being a mare, I started to go over a few choices about how to go through with this. Should I head off to school? I didn’t recall seeing any school supplies in my room. Maybe this dreamscape didn’t have school. Yes! Score! Best damn dream ever! I should get downstairs though. I need to get a few things first.

I went back into my room and turned on the light, the bulbs on the ceiling giving me illumination over my room. That’s when I noticed my walls were yellow, instead of white. How could I have missed that? I opened a drawer of my dresser and was greeted by female pony clothes. There were neatly folded up clothes of all kinds in here. Let’s see… I think these are some sort of pony equivalent to blouses and I guess they go with the skirts in this one. What’s at the top? I pulled the drawer and my gag reflex nearly kicked in.

Dresses. Lots of them.

Okay, I might be exaggerating. It’s only like, five or six. That’s still five or six too many in my book. They were assorted colors too. Red, blue, yellow, pink, white, and a rainbowish color scheme. The last one was frilly and looked more formal, while the others looked kinda casual. I still don’t know how dresses can be casual. Anyone wanna fill me in on that? Because, seriously, I’m all ears.

I had no idea whether ponies had to wear clothes or not here, so I’m going to play the “better safe than sorry” card. I picked up a pony-shirt-blouse-thing and a skirt. This was WAY outside my comfort zone, but I saw no pants or shorts. Okay, Plan Negative Purple was sounding really nice about now. I pushed that thought away and put on the clothes. Luckily there was a hole in the skirt for the tail to stick out of. I liked that tail. Even though there was some pink in it, I never had a tail before, so it was a big bonus for me. I turned around and found a saddlebag right there in front of me. I quickly looked around and found some things I would want to put in it. My wallet, my DS, and my laptop, which I put in my bag. I strapped it to my back. I noticed something small, yellow, and bearing my cutie mark. It was an iPhone. Mega score!

I quickly opened it, and checked the apps. My email, a few games, along with calling and texting. I didn’t memorize phone numbers well, so it was good to have a contact list. I never had an iPhone before, so this was great. Come to think of it, I’ve never had a cell phone period. Oh well. Wait, don’t iPhones have music too? I checked, and there it was. I scanned through the music, before frowning. It had a bunch of music I’d expect an actual girl to listen to. I know I still have all my other favorite things, so why does this have something different? I put it in my bag and made a mental note to fix that. I left my room, turning off the light as I went, considering its only 5:30 in the morning.

There was one last thing I wanted to check before heading downstairs. I went across the hall to my parents’ room. It was dark and cluttered, like always, but I have to say, the unicorn and Pegasus sleeping on my bed were definitely NOT my parents. They looked about a year or two older than me. The unicorn mare was a sky blue color while the Pegasus was a white color. I couldn’t see their cutie marks because the blanket they were sharing hid them.

Well, with that out of the way, I was all set for heading downstairs. I made my way to the top of the stairs, where Oreo was still sitting, waiting for me. What a nice cat. Patient too. I looked down. Okay, I’ve read fanfics that play out like this. As long as I didn’t freak out, I’d be fine. However, a consistent problem was stairs. Despite the characters frequently using them, no human-turned-pony could figure it out. I was determined to do it right though.

Our house has a U-turn set of stairs. It goes seven steps down, then a U-turn to the right, then seven more steps, and then you get your invisible, non-existent cookie! I carefully approached the first step, not wanting to initiate Plan Negative Purple just yet. It probably took a few minutes, but I made it past the first step. I felt a boost of confidence and decided to speed up a bit.

That’s when Plan Negative Purple took effect. The plan to get me to wake up.

I tripped, sending me tumbling down the stairs, signaling my pain and discomfort with each roll. I ended against the wall, upside down, dizzy and in pain.

Shisno, I was in pain.

The headache before was discomfort. That’s not a waker. Actual physical pain is a waker. This was pain. Physical pain. It was a waker. Therefore, I should be awake. So why am I still a pony? I turned back over and got up, adjusting my clothes. Then I stood there.

Fuck, I’m still here. Wait, what if this isn’t a dream? What if this is real? I don’t think I could handle a change this big… Well… I guess it’s out of the frying pan… I looked back at my body. And down the stairs.

I didn’t want to fall again, so I spread my wings. I smiled as I realized I would have these longer than I originally thought. However, this new body came with a new gender. I was always mentally prepared for an occurrence though, so I could handle it for a while. At least until complications set in. Mainly any new emotional and mental changes. Until then, I would brave the storm and fight on. Well, there’s no real storm, it’s all just metaphorical again. And there is nothing to fight either. I spread my wings and flapped them a few times, and they got me airborne easily. I kept lightly flapping them and flew down the rest of the stairs.

Hey, I’m actually flying!

I wish I could tell you how awesomely awesome sauce this is, but I’m sure if you go hang gliding, you’ll get a good idea. Even if it’s just a few feet off the ground and across the hall, it was still flying. I came to a stop and hovered at the end of the hall. The living room looked exactly the same. No height changes to anything. The television was still there, all of the other entertainment was there. The couches were there, and Nicky(my brother)’s play room was there behind the smaller couch. The kitchen, however, had some stools in it. It didn’t take a genius to figure out why, with all those overhead cupboards up there. I decided to turn on the TV. Maybe some news will clear my head.

I sat on the couch and turned on the TV. I flipped to a news station and there was a human and a pony at the desk. I flipped to the Weather Channel and it was almost nothing but pegasi. Wow. I turned to Cartoon Network at about 6:00 am. They always play Looney Tunes there, and they still do. As I was sitting there, I wondered something. Was this really another dimension? I’ve heard from Jenny that she met a traveler from another dimension about a week ago. He used my body as a vessel though. I’m still kinda peeved about it. I mean, who just goes and takes someone’s body for the day? Especially without asking first. Oh well, at least he gave it back. There I go again, tangenting like an insane person, which I was.

I noticed the first cartoon was over and they were in commercials. I took this time to notice that they were made up of both humans and ponies, and I noticed that there were a few more pony-based show commercials. I was about to relax a bit more when my phone rang. I picked it up and noticed that it was an unfamiliar pony calling. I didn’t know how I sounded either, and was a bit nervous. I had no reason to though, as I liked playing around with my voice. So, with that in mind, I cleared my throat, and spoke the first words to come out of my feminine Pegasus pony mouth.

“Hello? Who is this?”

I know, very anticlimactic. But it was a phone call, so what could you expect? A shisno knock-knock joke? I know… me too.

“It’s me. You know, Snowstorm? Come on Sunshine, you couldn’t have forgotten me.” Came the reply, obviously male, considering his picture on my phone.

I needed to think fast about what to say in reply to his reply, when I realized something he said. “Come on Sunshine, you couldn’t have forgotten me.” Sunshine must be my name. I took one more look at my cutie mark. Fitting. I finally thought of something to say.

“Well, you never know… You could have been a stalker.” I said, and then mentally face…hoofed myself for saying such an idiotic thing. What shocked me was his reply.

“Yeah, you’re right. Especially since what happened with that jerk the other day.” He said. “I mean, who would take advantage of such a sweet pony like you?” He added. I racked my brain for an idea of what happened, and then decided I was better off now knowing.

“I’d… rather not talk about that please.” I said. Though the more I knew, the better, I still didn’t want to know anything of that sort.

“Okay. Hey, you up for some fun on the clouds this morning? Maybe we could even get Flutters in too.” Snowstorm said. My mind stopped. We knew Fluttershy?

I had to confirm it. “Fluttershy? With us?” I asked. I think it sounded a bit jerky. No, not the food, though that’s another problem.

“Yeah, it’ll be fun. Just the three of us!” Was Snowstorm’s reply. He sounded excited. It was cool to know a member of the show’s main – or in this case “mane” – cast, but does this dimension even have a Fluttershy like the original? Or is she a different personality? I’m kinda neutral. On one hand – er, hoof, it would be like being in an episode. On the other, it would be less annoying to deal with that extreme shyness.

“Okay, are you coming here?” I asked. I had no fudging idea where this dude lived. For all I know, it was in the clouds. He was obviously a pegasus. That much I could tell without looking.

“Yeah. I’ll meet you there by 6:30. Then we can swing by Flutters’ place and pick her up. Hopefully she’s not too busy. See ya soon!” He said, and hung up. I put the phone back in the bag when I heard hoofsteps coming from upstairs.

I turned towards the staircase to see the white pegasus coming down. He wore a tired scowl and ignored my presence, instead turning to the front door and flying away. I frowned. What’s wrong with a simple “good morning?” Sheesh… he must not be a morning person. I heard more hoofsteps and then saw the light blue unicorn mare come down. Her blond mane looked a little ruffled, and she was definitely tired. She also wasn't wearing clothes. I could see her cutie mark, which was an ocean wave.

She smiled when she noticed me though. “Good morning, Sunshine. Sleep well?” She asked, suppressing a yawn. I smiled back. Finally, someone with some manners.

I nodded. “Yeah, Snowstorm called.” I answered. Maybe it wasn’t her business to know, but I needed to start a conversation so I could find out more about her. I don’t know her name, or anything. I need to know as much as possible before I jump to conclusions.

“Oh really, what did he say?” She asked me.

“Oh nothing much, just that we’re going out this morning and maybe bringing Fluttershy with us.” I answered. This was getting me nowhere. I smiled as I got an idea. “So, what’s up with you, What’s-your-face?” I asked playfully. Even though I like throwing my voice around, something this high-pitched can be grating on my ears. I just have to bear it though.

The unicorn giggled. Fudge, would I end up doing that too? I liked my laugh… “Oh nothing much, just that your sister will be sitting around watching Copycat while you go out.” She said jokingly. Wait, sister? She was my sister? I know I have a sister back home, but the age difference is way off. Besides, that sister doesn’t even live with us. This world is very similar, but vastly different.

As for my brother, I’m not surprised that his name is Copycat. That trait of his is annoying as Caboose on caffeine. Not that I would know, but I can only imagine the funniest Red vs. Blue character to be really annoying if he got his hands on caffeine. Yeah, I have a lot of things I like.

"You know, you don't have to wear those if you're going out." She said. I don't have to wear them? Then why in the name of fudge did I have so many? You know what? I didn't care. I slipped the clothes off and threw them in my sister's face. She caught it in her magic and threw them behind her. I was glad they were off. I could see my cutie mark much better. Wait, why was I so into cutie marks anyway? Ah, who cares? I'm tangenting again anyway.

So, if she's my sister, then where is my mother? Meh, I’ll figure it out later. At least this apparent older sister is here, and she beats Mom by a long shot. I’ll say it again. Score!

I noticed that the second cartoon was now over. Fudge, I keep missing them! Stupid thoughts. Stupid tangents. I needed to stay focused. Keep my thoughts on the present events and not tangent on anything else. Dammit, why am I so random? Oh well, at least I can enjoy the last cartoon.

I sat there and stared at the television. Oh Bugs Bunny, you have the fastest wit in the multiverse. I laughed. While the pitch was noticeably higher, I noticed it still sounded like “me.”

I noticed that girly giggle behind me and turned around to my so-called “sister” rolling her eyes at my laugh. “Oh, you have the strangest laugh.” She said, “why can’t you have a girlier laugh, like me?” She giggled again.

I rolled my eyes and gave a smirk. “Because, that’s just how I roll.” I answered. She giggled again. Please, that’s more grating to my ears than my voice. I can only take so much of this girly air pollution. I shouldn’t be complaining, because I’m producing some as well. Damn…

The doorbell broke the thought cycle. “I’ll get it!” I yelled, desperate to get away from the giggler standing behind me. I ran – er, galloped to the door, tripping once and reminding me that this is not a dream and that there is a giggling mare behind me.

I opened the door. There, standing before me, was a white Pegasus with a gray mane and tail. I noticed his mane was short but his tail was longer than mine. His cutie mark was a gray storm cloud with a few snowflakes under it. His eyes were a cheerful gray as well. This guy was seriously grayscale to the max. Even his saddlebag was gray. Though mine was yellow, so I didn’t care. I also noticed he wasn't wearing any clothes either. “Hey Sunshine, you ready?” He asked, with a cheerful smile on his face.

I mirrored his smile. “Yep! Let’s go.” I said.

He flapped his wings and took to the sky. “Come on Sunny! I’m not waiting all day.” He said teasingly.

I rolled my eyes. “Hold your fudgeballs, I’ll be right there.” I said, getting a laugh from Snowstorm. I took off after him. I watched as the ground got farther away, and nearly freaked out. I regained my composure when I looked up and saw Snowstorm ahead. He kept his smile on me, and I felt strangely calm. Well, I guess a friendly face can really calm someone’s nerves. He flew on ahead, and I followed.

I guess it’s time to see what this world has in store.

Going out.

View Online

I am seriously enjoying flying. It’s quite the sensation. Going back to that one comment about hang gliding, I realize it doesn’t quite do it justice. Maybe skydiving in a flight suit? I’ve done neither, so this is the closest I can compare to. Sorry. Anyway, flying beside Snowstorm was fun. I don’t know how high we were. Maybe about a hundred feet? I couldn’t tell, and I’m still a bit nervous about looking down, but thankfully, all I had to do was follow Snowy. Yeah, I called him Snowy. He called me Sunny, so I’m calling him Snowy.

We dodged a few clouds on the way. I don’t know whether they really are solid to pegasi, or if it was just a game. I’d find out later though. I noticed him lower his altitude, so I followed his lead. As we were going down, I noticed a cottage. Oh yeah, that was definitely Fluttershy’s house.

Snowy set his hooves on the ground in front of her door while I just hovered a few feet above him. He knocked on her door, and the sound of crashing plastic dishes followed. I guess she was in the middle of feeding time. The door slowly creaked open, and I saw her eye peek out at us. When she noticed it was us, she thrust open the doors, a smile on her face. “Hi you two. How can I help you this morning?” She then turned to me. “Are your cats doing okay?” She asked.

I nodded. “They’re doing fine. Fluffy as always.” I said, smiling.

Fluttershy’s smile widened upon hearing this. “That’s good.” She said. I noticed her volume level was a bit higher than I expected, but I guess it’s just me. “So, what do you need?” She asked Snowstorm.

“We were wondering if you would go out with us to mess around with the clouds.” He said. Sadly Fluttershy shook her head. “Busy again?” He asked.

“Yes, I have a sick parakeet to look after. I’m so sorry guys, but I can’t join you today.” She said, and added a “Sorry.” She closed the door, leaving me with Snowy again.

I turned to him. “Well, that was a whole lot of nothing there. What do we do now?” I asked. I knew he was going to keep on the original plan of doing whatever pegasi do with clouds, but I wanted to be sure.

Snowstorm simply took off. “Come on, even without Flutters, we can still have fun.” He shouted from the air. I shrugged inwardly and took off after him. He gained speed.

So that’s how you wanna play it, huh?

I flapped my wings as hard as I could in an attempt to catch up with him. I ended up speeding up so much, I headbutted him and we both crashed on top of a cloud.

Now, I understand that pegasi can control the weather. Watching the Weather Channel made that abundantly clear, even in this world. But to stand on top of this condensed blob of water vapor and water droplets, all tightly packed together, is just surprising. I reached out with a hoof and moved it around. It wasn’t moist or uncomfortably damp at all. It was like a big ball of cotton. That got my mind into overdrive.

This doesn’t feel like a cloud at all. Just a big pillow. Could it be the density of the cloud is bigger than it’s volume? If I tried compressing this cloud, how many bathtubs would it fill?

The thought of filling a dozen bathtubs with rainwater made me chuckle. I noticed Snowstorm was looking at me with a frown, but his eyes still had their playful cheerfulness. Wondering whether or not this would work, I scooped up a ball of cloud, and threw it at him. His eyes widened in surprise as it flew at him and hit him in the face, covering his pony snout with white fluff. I laughed. It made him look like Santa Claus!

“Ha, ha, laugh it up Sunny.” He said in a disapproving, yet humorous tone. I knew, by that tone, what was coming next, and ducked my head as a cloud ball sailed over it. “Darn it! How’d you know?” He asked.

“Your tone gave it away. Work of that next time.” I told him simply. I’m not gonna pretend to have an expanded vocabulary, to know big words with five or more syllables, or to go on long, complicated self-lectures about myself, my life, my predicament, or anything of the sort. I roll in a simple style. I make it easy for people to follow me, as long as I’m not spewing random sentences out of my mouth. Speaking of which, does Sunshine have the same random qualities I have? Time to test that theory. “Also, the brownie fairies told me.” I said matter-of-factly.

Snowstorm cocked his head to the left in confusion. “I’m sorry, what?” I guess I failed that test. Despite having my room in almost the same condition, I was apparently a different mare than a boy. I waved a hoof dismissingly. “Whatever, Sunshine. You wanna hang out at the mall? Maybe meet some more friends if they’re there?” He asked.

I felt something in his tone, but I couldn’t discern what it was. Maybe confusion or impatience. Whatever it was, it had something to do with my random outburst. Obviously, I’m not supposed to be random. Well, you know what? Not being random is worse than being a chick! Screw you! Up the ass! With a spoon!

Then another thing hit me. Friends. My friends back home. Did they carry over to here? Are they ponies, or humans? Are they the same friends I know? I have to find the answers to these questions.

“Yes.” I said. Whoops, I was too serious with that answer. “I mean, yeah, sure.” I tried to diffuse it, but he just got more confused, then shrugged it off.

“Then come on. What are you waiting for?” He took off, and I followed. We flew closer to the ground, and I could see many ponies with carriages, both pulling and riding. I even noticed one group trade spots on the side of the road. I looked a little higher and noticed a Pegasus-drawn one. That was cool, even though it defied the laws of physics. Then again, I did stand on a cloud earlier, so who truly gives a flying fudge? Not me, that’s for sure.

What I noticed that concerned me though, was the lack of humans. They were here. The TV shows I saw convinced me of that. So where were they? All I saw were ponies. Not one human. Not one. My town doesn’t have a mall, but the one next to us does. Wait, I just tangented. Well, it was true anyway. Tangent problems aside, I thought that was gonna be a rather long flight. When the mall came into my sight, I was surprised at how fast we got here. Out of left field, Snowstorm made a diving move, folding his wings in to give him greater speed. Frankly, I thought the dude lost his marbles. But as I flew down to catch up with him, he pulled out of it with timing that would make Rainbow Dash proud, if not a little jealous.

I caught up to him by an Olive Garden and Gibbs slapped him. “Don’t ever do that again, you hear me?” I slapped him again. “Never do that again!” I said harshly. Dear Cheese-Its, I was worried about him. Hmm… Cheese-Its… I like them, but they always leave a taste in my mouth. My stomach growled. Fudge! I forgot to eat breakfast! “When we get there, let’s drop by the food court first.” I said sheepishly.

I got a playful nudge from Snowstorm. “Alright you… Forgot to eat again?” He asked. I nodded. Yeah, I forgot. So what? I was caught up in the moment of discovering I was a fudging mare! “It’s okay. I’ll pay this time. I forgot to eat too.” He said, and a tummy rumble from him confirmed it.

“Yeah, I can see that. Hahaha!” I laughed. No, it wasn’t a laugh, it was a giggle. Damn, I giggled! Okay, calm down… I won’t lose myself. It was just one giggle. That is the first and only sign of femininity. I won’t let that bring me down. I’m stronger than this.

I was snapped out of my thoughts by another nudge. “Come on Sunshine, don’t trance on me yet.” He said, and used a foreleg to push me along. I began trotting on my own power, and thankfully, the mall was just across the street. Again, I saw nothing but equines on my way. I could have sworn I saw a zebra in the carriage parking lot, but I could have imagined it. Anyway, it’s not like I cared. I just wanted some food in my belly. The sooner I got that, the sooner I cared about anything else. Until then, I only gave a fuck about food and Snowstorm, since he’s buying.

We finally entered the mall and, again, there were only ponies. I was starting to think that this part of the world has only ponies. “Hey, Snowstorm… where’s the nearest human?” I asked. I mentally facehoofed myself again for thinking I could get away from that.

Snowstorm looked about as confused as I did from that question, like he was thinking the same thing. “I don’t know. There were plenty around until about a month ago. We’ll worry about that later though. I smell food.” He said.

He was right; food is definitely on the senses right now. We picked up our pace to a moderate canter until the food court entered our sight. My stomach growled in anticipation for this glorious event. I scanned the choices for something for breakfast, when my eyes fell upon Cinnabon. “There!” I said, just loud enough for a pony or two to glance in my direction. I paid them no attention, and instead focused all my attention on the sweet scent of cinnamon. Before I knew what happened, I was standing right at the front counter.

Snowstorm waved a hoof in front of me. “Hey, Equestria to Sunshine. Come in Sunshine. Over.” He said, mimicking someone using a walkie-talkie.

“Sunshine to Equestria, I found the target. Proceed with Operation: Breakfast? Over.” I mimicked the walkie-talkie voice as well, which took Snowy by surprise.

“Affirmative. Proceeding with Operation: Breakfast. Over.” He replied. We both shared a laugh. I actually laughed, not giggled this time. Thank the Pizza Lord for that. I don’t think I want to giggle again.

I took a few more steps and noticed someone in the kitchen, humming to herself. I couldn’t recognize the song, though it sounded catchy. I tapped a hoof on the counter to get her attention. She turned around and bounced towards us. That’s when I noticed just who it was. It was Pinkie Pie. “Hey Sunny. Hey Snowy.” She said.

Snowstorm seemed as surprised as me. “Pinkie, you changed jobs again?” He asked. Hmm… She likes changing jobs? Interesting, and just like Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie nodded. “Yep. I just can’t find one that is good enough for me. Anyway, what will it be?” She asked us.

I looked at the choices. I decided on something simple. “Just a cinnamon roll for each of us, please.” I said. Before we knew it, two fresh cinnamon rolls were thrust into our faces. Snowstorm paid a few bits – lightly startling me that they were still the currency here – and we both started to eat.

I took the first bite and was assaulted by flavors of awesomeness. I loved cinnamon rolls before, and definitely loved Cinnabon’s cinnamon rolls, but this time it was just intense. I blame fresh taste buds for that. I must have been thrown into another cinnamon induced trance because the next thing I knew, I had eaten three of them, and Snowstorm and I were sitting at a table. I blinked in confusion. “What just happened?” I asked.

Snowstorm chuckled. “You ate the first one in three bites, then ordered two more and inhaled them. What was with that? I’ve never seen you do that before.” He said. Great, another chip off my cover.

“I was really hungry.” I said. It wasn’t a lie. I was hungry. Not anymore though. I could still taste the cinnamon rolls. Tasted like heaven on bread.

Pinkie Pie bounced to our table with a happy smile. “Did you two enjoy yourselves?” She asked. I couldn’t help but nod vigorously. She smiled even wider. “Great. I thought this would be a great way to help ease the tension and start over.” She said.

I was confused at her last few words. “Start over from what?” I asked. Did something happen between the real Sunshine and Pinkie Pie? Or was this while I was in that cinnamon roll induced trance?

Pinkie’s smile faltered for a second. “Oh yeah, that’s right. Never mind. Have fun!” She said, and jumped over the counter back into the kitchen. Pinkie Pie, you are so random… I got up from the table and left with Snowstorm beside me. I was smiling, satisfied with my meal. I almost didn’t notice Pinkie say to herself. “Good, she didn’t find out.”

I did notice though, and was about to turn around, when another voice called the name of the pony whose body I was currently inhabiting. “Sunshine, Sunshine!” I turned to face the voice and found an orange earth pony cantering towards me. Before you start thinking so, no, it’s not Applejack. This one was clearly male, and had a very spiky mane. I was worried he would poke somebody’s eye out with that mane. Ha, still no pony terminology for me! His mane and tail were brown, and his cutie mark was a quill and scroll. “Sunshine, wait for me!” He yelled, and broke into a gallop to catch up with me and Snowstorm.

Snowstorm smiled at him. “Hey Fiction.” He said. Fiction? That’s his name? Wow, I felt sorry for him. That’s a bad name, even for a pony. He’s obviously a writer, not a reader. Unless his talent was writing fiction, then I could possibly see it.

Fiction cast a glare at Snowstorm. “My name’s not Fiction.” He said. Oh, so it’s not? Well, are you gonna say your name? No? Well, then I guess I just have to mentally call him Fiction. “Anyway,” he said, startling me from my thoughts, and I noticed he was right in my face, like he was gonna kiss me or something, “Sunshine, where’s Pop Tart? You said you knew where her new job was.” He said.

Shit with a brick. I knew no such thing! “Uh, she works at the bookstore now. It’s that way.” I said, pointing down the hall. He ran off, casting a thanks behind him as he went. That guy is a little creepy. I unintentionally breathed a sigh of relief, and drew the attention of Snowstorm.

“What was that sigh all about?” He asked. Damn, I needed something to save me. But what?

Oh yes! The truth! “He was a little creepy, being in my personal space.” I said. It was definitely true. The guy was creepy as fudge on a stick with a side of mustard.

He gave a snort of laughter. “Yeah, he needs to learn some space. Anyway, you wanna do a little shopping? I heard that new place just opened up, and I know you’ve been dying to go there.” He said. I hated shopping, but anything to keep me occupied.

I made a mental note to make a plan of action once I got the time. “Sure.” I said. We started to go down the hallway, but not before I took a quick peek behind me and saw Pinkie Pie standing there, giving me an uncharacteristically stern look. One that clearly said to me, “something is wrong here.” Before I could give a confused look, I was pulled along by Snowstorm into a growing crowd of ponies. I picked up my pace and fell in beside him.

Meeting more ponies.

View Online

The mall is pretty big, so I had to stick close to Snowstorm while we browsed the stores. This gave me a small amount of time to think about the situation I’ve been thrown into. I’ve read many fanfics regarding the complications of gender and/or species changes. The characters usually freak out due to the changes of gender, but can adapt to transformations. I realized I was taking the whole thing quite well, even though I’m probably one of the younger victims. While this would open up a frantic spark of craziness, I can’t seem to find the time. Oh well. I guess it’s a good thing. While I can’t retain my masculinity, I can retain my composure. If something comes along that I can’t handle though, I’m screwed.

On that note, my secret dignity and my fake sanity will hang on a thread if I have to deal with clothes again. Why the fudge did Sunshine have so many clothes? Clothes were optional for ponies, so why did she have so many? I’m never gonna understand that.

The first store we enter is GameStop. Snowstorm entered it first. “You can wait here Sunny. I know you’re not much of a gamer.” He said. Oh HELL no he did not just say that! Has he seen my room recently? For example, this morning? I was noticeably peeved at that little comment and shoved my way past him into the store. “What’s with you? Getting into gaming all of a sudden?” He asked.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Yes, and you will not stop me from loving it.” I said and started browsing. Let’s see… Halo 3, have it. Pony Party Palooza, considering. Pony Hawk, wait what? Moving on… Racing games, pony games, fighting games, more pony games, shooters, MORE pony games… Why did this universe have so many pony games? Oh, right. The ponies. I decided there wasn’t anything really that interesting and I left.

I sat on the bench in front of the store for a good ten minutes after that. Seriously, what was taking that guy so long? They’re video games, not clothes. Then again, video games are for guys like clothes are for girls. I’m still a dude mentally, so why did I just leave? Meh, I’ll worry about it later.

That brought up another thought. I’m a mare physically. Did stallions find me attractive? What were the beauty standards for mares? Did it have something to do with the eyes, the mane, the body… what was it that made female ponies attractive? Did I have any of it? I glanced around and noticed a few mares. They seemed to have very feminine appearances, unlike me who just let my mane and tail do whatever the fudge it wants as long as it’s flat. After taking note of the posterior ends of a few mares, I checked back to my own. Maybe it was because I was sitting, but mine looked bigger. I honestly don’t want a big ass. It makes stallions stare, I know it… I could feel one staring at me right now.

“Sunshine, are you gonna stop staring at your flank or do I have to leave you here?” Snowstorm asked. Oh, it was just him. For a second, I thought I was gonna have to get violent.

I felt a blush coming on at that flank statement. Fudge, I guess I’m still not immune to the female shit. “How long have you been standing there?” I asked, turning my head back to him. He held a sack of games in his saddlebag.

“Oh, just about two minutes.” He said with a smirk. My blush grew. Fuck. He laughed. How dare he laugh at my expense! I sent a glare his way and he shut up. My blush left. “Anyway, you just went into there and came back out. Why didn’t you get anything?” He asked.

I looked away. “Nothing really caught my eye.” I lied. Of course anything Halo would catch my eye.

Snowstorm didn’t believe that lie and raised an eyebrow at me. “I don’t believe you.” He said, and pulled out one of the games from his bag. Pony Party Palooza. Yippee… “I saw you look at this one.” He put it back in the bag.

I glanced back at my flank. “Hey, Snowy, what do you think of my looks?” I asked innocently. When I turned back to see him, I saw his face.

Oh, that FACE! What did I tell you? I am a Troll! Trolololololol.

He quickly turned away to avoid eye contact, shifting his eyes and shuffling his hooves nervously. His left wing appeared to be twitching slightly and I caught him scanning me with his eyes, stopping at my rump. Ah, so that is attractive. That makes me relieved and worried. I smirked at his misfortune of being asked such a personal question. “Uh, you’re uh… very… cute?” He answered nervously. My smirk grew. He lies like an overturned bowl of spaghetti. I was downright hot and he knew it! The wild ones are always the sexy ones. Wait, why the fuck am I thinking this shit? Kyle, you’ve tainted my thoughts! Shame on you!

I burst out laughing. This was too funny! “I just wanted an opinion. Thanks.” I said after another minute on nonstop laughter. Oh, his face! That glare I got after laughing was SO worth it! I calmed down and looked at him before trotting off down the hall. I turned around and noticed he was still standing there, looking at my flanky flanks. “Like what you see? Because it’s leaving without you.” I teased. That brought a blush to his cheeks, and maybe a little nervous sweat, and he quickly caught up to me. I laughed again. He was just TOO easy…

I hummed the trololol song all the way to our next stop, which was a store that smelled of soap. I assume you know of those kinds of stores? They are just filled with the scents. A more sensitive pony nose would recoil at it, and I did just that. “That scent is strong!” I exclaimed, stepping back.

Snowstorm sent another confused look my way. “Yeah, but I thought you liked this place.” He said. Damn, that means I have to go in there, don’t I? I shook my head to clear the scents and stepped inside. The moment I entered, the scents grew… inviting. Pleasurable, even.

……………

How long was I in there? How did I end up back outside? Where did these bags from? I must have blanked out once I entered. Damn you Sunshine and your natural love for smelly shit!

As we kept going down the hall, I either took the ramp or flew instead of taking the stairs. I didn’t want a repeat of this morning’s tumble. I like those fanfics that feature stair based hilarity, but I didn’t want to be the subject of abject humiliation.

I noticed a small corner store, that wasn’t really a store. It was one of those hang out places that has a few vending machines and the restrooms. I also noticed the free Wi-Fi sign. I made an immediate left turn and went straight for it. Snowstorm followed behind me. Thank Hershey I remembered my laptop. I sat down at a table, “Lyra” style, and set my laptop on it. I flipped it open and connected to the internet. I went to check my email, and saw nothing. Fudge. I saw the date. April 17, 2013.

I’m sorry, did I miss a few weeks here? It’s supposed to be the middle of March, not April! I sighed in defeat. I give up! This is just more freaky interdimensional travel shit! Seeing as there wasn’t much else to do, I shut off the laptop and turned to Snowstorm, who had a bunch of snacks from the vending machines in his bag. “Okay, we can keep going now.” I said, which made him smile. I bagged my lappy and we left for the bookstore, which was right next door. This was where I sent that Fiction pony.

Upon entering, I noticed him talking to a strawberry colored mare with a purple mane. That must be Pop Tart. Holy shit, that means I was right! I considered going over and talking to them, but I just thought against it and went to the non-fiction books.

Okay, there were several sections of books of all subjects. I opted for the weather stuff. I love studying meteorology. It’s my favorite subject. Better than anything else. I turned around and bumped into a large unicorn. I fell back on my butt and pinched my tail. It hurt.

Scrambling up to get a better look at him, I found he was a red color with a brown mane. “Hey there, Sunshine. It’s weird, bumping into you here.” He said. That voice, it sounded familiar… Oh, of course! It’s one of my friends! What is his pony name though?

“Uh, yeah. Of course, it’s weirder when you’re the one being bumped into.” I said, which got a laugh from him. He helped me up with his magic, then proceeded to ruffle my mane up with a hoof. Frowning, I flattened it back out. Seriously, why does he like messing with his friends like that? Celestia could teach him a thing or two…

“Excuse me? Are you bothering her again Rusty?” Snowstorm asked, coming up behind me. So that was his name. It fits him well.

“No, just saying hi.” He said before turning around and walking away. Rusty stopped for a moment and looked over his shoulder at us. “And dude, you have no chance.” He added before leaving.

I turned back to Snowstorm, who looked peeved. “Did I miss something?” I asked, confused. I didn’t know what was going on here between those two.

He looked away. “It’s nothing. Let’s just go.” He said, and I nodded. We made our exit and looked at a clock on the wall. 9:27 am. We’ve been here for about two hours. “Well, this has been fun and all, but I should get home soon. See ya later Sunshine.” Snowstorm said, and left.

I was now alone in the mall. Fudge. Oh well, now at least I could think in peace. Now then, my situation. Okay, here I was, stuck as a mare in a world I hardly knew, but apparently knew me quite well. While the voice is no big deal, a few other things could prove troublesome. For example, the new emotions I may have. While I didn’t believe female emotions were that different from males, I knew that there were some differences. Then, would I have to deal with feelings for stallions? I hope not. That would suck. I know I’ll have to deal with the occasional stallion that decides he can have Sunny all to himself. A little bucking to the face would set them right though.

I noticed one stallion had a lustful look in his eyes, pointed right at me. He was a bulky earth pony, with a dusty tan fur and a short red and yellow mane and tail. His cutie mark was a muscular muffin. By the duct tape gods, I could already predict his name. Oh no, he’s coming this way. I gotta move now.

Damn, too late! “Hi, I’m Stud Muffin. What’s your name?” He asked. He smelled of sweat. He must have come from the YMCA nearby, considering the mall doesn’t have a gym. This guy oozed the smelly shit. I considered throwing my soaps and stuff at him, but then I wouldn’t have anything for myself.

I backed away from him. “It’s none of your business. Go away.” I said. I didn’t want anything to do with this joker. He wanted something to do with me though. He came up closer and I turned away from him. He rubbed my flank with his hoof, and that sent me signals. Those signals are gonna end in a dead zone if he doesn’t stop though.

Touch.

Kick!

“Buck!”

“Take that asswipe!”

After giving that overzealous lustful dumbass a swift kick to the face, I left the mall immediately, the blush still on my face. That pervert got what was coming to him.

Wait… It just came to me… He tried to seduce me… I shook my head. No, it wasn’t true. Please, someone tell me it wasn’t true… I didn’t want to admit it at first, but it seems there is no getting away from it anymore. I knew I had become a mare, and now lived in a world where this mare I had become is apparently a popular one. She had good friends, a good home, and a great world to live in.

But I am not this mare.

I need to get home. How though? I had no idea how interdimensional travel worked. I guess I just have to keep winging it until a way can be found.

Speaking of wings…

I took to the air once more, enjoying the feeling of the blowing wind on my face. I don’t care what anyone else says, flying is the ONLY way to travel. This was, I realized, a great way to get my mind off the disturbing thoughts that ravaged my head a few seconds ago. I didn’t care anymore because it didn’t matter anymore. I would never see that scumbag again.

In the air, I started to play around with the clouds. Again, they felt like cotton to my hooves, even though I knew they were just collections of trillions of rain droplets suspended in the atmosphere. Each of the little droplets were just a few micrometers in diameter, and a million of them would form a drop of rain. These droplets condense and form around a nucleus, which is usually a small particle, like dust. Don't ask how I know this. I read it in a book.

This information, while interesting, made little difference to the fact that I could just move it around and play with it like it was cotton, and could make it rain or electrocute if I wished. It was just too cool for words. Who needed words, when all one had were Pegasus wings, a cloud, and a knack for mischief?

I took what I assumed to be a small cumulus cloud and moved it into a clear patch of sky. Yes, this would do nicely. I got above it and was ready to jump down upon it when a flash of black struck the cloud. I noticed it was another Pegasus. This one was female. Thank goodness for that. There were too many males in my life right now. Her mane was red with orange stripes, and the same could be said for the tail. I saw her cutie mark was a blueprint sheet. She picked herself up off the cloud and looked at me. “I’m sorry, were you gonna do something with this cloud?” She asked.

I frowned and nodded. “I was gonna have some fun with it. Who are you?” I asked back. She adjusted her glasses. I don’t notice those at first. Oh well.

“My name is Charcoal Embers. What is yours?” She asked. We were doing a lot of asking. Then again, we just wanted to know who we were in relation to each other.

“I’m Sunshine. It’s good to meet you.” I said, smiling. It’s good to show kindness. It makes friends. I noticed she was smiling too.

She flapped her wings and began to leave. “Maybe we’ll see each other around sometime.” She said, and took off.

I watched her go. I was feeling considerably better after that brief encounter with Charcoal. I decided to forget about the cloud pranks and go to Sunshine’s house for a while. I guess since I was, at least for the moment, Sunshine, it would be my house, but this dimension is not my home. I cannot forget that.

On my way, I started thinking again. What if I am a female forever? Will it change who I am? No, who I am is something that can never change. I’m just too crazy for that. It will be an adventure! A quest to explore the most mysterious thing the world has ever known – the opposite gender! I wasn’t going to let this little complication ruin my time here. I was going to enjoy it if it killed me! Now that my little rant is out of the way, where is my house?

Oh thank Tim Allen, I finally found my house! It took what felt like hours, though it probably wasn’t more than two, to find this place. I went inside and saw my sister lying on the couch, asleep. Copycat was watching SpongeBob on the TV. I checked the time. 11:48 am. Good enough time as any for some lunch. I made my way into the kitchen and opened the fridge. I took out some pasta in a baggie and put in on a plate. I stuck it in the microwave for about a minute, and when it was done, I took some shredded cheese and sprinkled it all over the pasta. I grabbed a fork out of the silverware drawer and went upstairs. After lunch, I think I’ll play some video games…

I PWN N00BZ!

View Online

I entered my room and set down my bag. I had been carrying that thing around all morning. I stretched out my back, feeling once again the sensation of this new body. Every bit of it felt strange, yet I knew I could handle this. However, that moment with Stud Muffin really opened my eyes to what I had to go through to get around as a mare. I rubbed a hoof on my throat. I guess having a female voice isn’t all bad either. It’s much more pleasing to the ears. I wonder… could I be able to sing with this voice? Meh, I’ll try it later.

I set my lunch down on my desk and hopped on the stool. I began to wonder if I could use my wings to grabble the fork instead of my apparently magical hooves. I reached out a wing and used it’s apparently magical feathers to grab the fork. I then stabbed the fork into the pasta, and brought it to my mouth. Yum. Yum yum yum. Yumyumyumyumyumyum.

The next few minutes passed in a blur as I devoured the pasta hungrily. It always felt good to eat something you enjoy.

After I was finished, I left the plate there and turned on the Xbox 360. I climbed up on the bed with my controller and started up the game. Halo 4. Fudge yes! I’ll show Snowstorm I really am a gamer! Ha, I even have Xbox Live connection! I started up a round and put my microphone on. “Hi internet!” I said in the most cheerful voice I could come up with.

I got a groan in response. “Ugh, it’s a girl. Please tell me she’s not on our team.” One user said. I decided to call him “Jerkface.”

“Hey, I’m a mare. Get it right.” I said. Two others broke into laughter. One guy invited everyone else to a party chat, so I joined in. Now there are eight people talking to each other nonstop.

Jerkface groaned again. “A pony? You’re one of those Equestrians? Did you know Celestia just went and kicked all the humans out of eastern Washington just so she could expand her territory? It’s just sick.” He said. I was shocked. Celestia claimed this territory? Didn’t anyone try to stop her? It was like an important plot point.

“Is that why you don’t like me?” I asked, wondering why he was a jerkface.

“No, I just don’t think girls should play games. Even worse, girl ponies. How can they even hold the controllers? It’s stupid.” He said. Okay that got my blood boiling.

“How about this then? I have wings. I’ll use my wings to play, and I’ll kick your ass from here to Canterlot and back! How does that sound? And I’ll even do it behind my back.” I said, using the most calm tone I could.

“It. Is. ON!” He yelled, and I grinned, gripping the controller with my wings behind me. These things were as good as hands with this crazy magic shit. I checked the game type. SWAT. Perfect. “You ready to die, bitch?” He asked.

“It’s not sane to talk in front of a mirror like that, sir.” I said, which invoked a “BURN!” from a few other players. Jerkface just scoffed at it. “Enough talk…”

3… 2… 1…

“The slaughter begins now.”

The game starts, and we’re put down on one side of the map while the other team is on the other side. I moved my red character down the left path and came across two blues. One of them was Jerkface. I quickly took them both down with headshots. “Fuck! You fucking cheater!” He yelled.

I entered a building through the right and took down one more blue. I kept going until a magnum shot did me in. “Ha ha! Revenge, asshole!” Jerkface said.

I respawned and took the right path this time, killing two blues in the process. “Suck it blues!” I said as they dropped.

“Oh, she knows Red vs. Blue. Congrats, missy, but your satisfaction ends here! I shall put a DMR round in your head faster than you can – FUCK! Get the fuck out of the way!” He shouted after another red killed him.

“Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. You need to work on your temper.” I teased, putting a Magnum shot into another blue’s head. I was inwardly laughing at every moment.

“Shut the fuck up girly! You are a prissy prick! You and your family are nothing but whores! FUCK!” He shouted as I put another bullet in his brain.

I scowled. “You have insulted my family’s honor! I demand recompense!” I yelled back. I was pissed now. How dare he call me a whore! Plus, I really wanted to say that line. I didn’t really give a fuck about my so-called “family” because I hardly knew them.

“Challenge accepted! We shall duel on my dueling map!” He said. “FUCKING DICK BUISCITS!” He added after another headshot put him down.

“No. You need a new map.” One of the other players said.

I shook my head, forgetting they couldn’t see it. “I’m fine with his map. It should make things interesting.” I said, taking an assassination.

“Fine then. Let’s finish this game then we’ll duel.” Jerkface said. I put another Magnum round in his head, then the victory notice appeared on the screen. “Fucking fuck nuggets!” He added when his defeat notice appeared on his screen. “That’s it. Prepare to die!”

After that, we headed to the custom games menu, along with two other players who wanted to watch. I kept thinking of ways his map might give him an unfair advantage. Let’s see… he knows the map layout and any potential hideaways. Yet, it could be a nice easy map.

“The Cheater’s Guide to Dueling.” I read the title of the map. Or it could be my first idea. Damn. Unfair advantage alert. At that point, another gamer joined the game. “Hi gamer.” I greeted, trying to be friendly.

“Yo, wazzap? DJ Pon-3 is here to liven up this party!” She replied, then laughed. “I’m sorry. I’m just trying to come up with cool ways to introduce myself. What did you think?” This was obviously that pony DJ. Wasn’t her fan-given name Vinyl Scratch? Yeah, it was. Was it her real name though?

“It’s too bland. If you want to introduce yourself to a party fit for a DJ you have to be wilder. It also has to be longer and you could talk about the music.” One of the two other gamers replied. “Do ponies have raves?” He asked after a pause.

“Oh totally. It’s not a party worth going to if it isn’t a wild one, and raves are the wildest a pony can get.” Vinyl answered. Another pause. “So what’s going on?” She asked.

“Oh nothing much. Just an Honor Duel between a human and a pony.” He said. Vinyl laughed. “I know. It’s gonna be epic.”

“We’re taking bets. I got ten bits on myself.” I said, getting another laugh from Vinyl. “What about you, Mr. Pony Hater Jerkface McGee?” I asked, and got yet another laugh from the unicorn DJ. I was apparently funny to her. Victory!

“Two hundred bucks says I will win with a perfection medal.” He replies.

“Okay, you asked for it.” I stated as cryptically as I could. Vinyl laughed again as she figured out what I meant.

After a pause, Jerkface figured it out as well. “Oh fuck you, ya dumb ass pony.” He said.

“I’ll take that bet. Just give me your address and I’ll give you two hundred bucks right now.” Vinyl said. I laughed. This was just too fudging funny. It’s a pony double team!

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure asses and ponies are different.” One of the other gamers said. Vinyl and I both laughed. This was just too funny.

“Whatever. Let’s start this game so I can kick that pony’s plot straight back through the hole they came from.” Jerkface said. Wait, what’s this about a hole?

“It wasn’t a hole, it was a vortex. Get it right.” One of the other gamers said. I’m just gonna call him Gamer 1.

“Yeah, can you believe it’s been only two years since they came, and no one cared when they did. I expected military retaliation when Celestia took that land a month ago.” The other gamer said. I’m calling him Gamer 2.

Wait, what? Celestia came to this dimension from yet ANOTHER one? That was two years ago. It seems that ponies have fit into the society quite nicely. If Sunny here is any indication, I’d wager that the ponies eagerly adapted to human lifestyle. I thought humans weren’t that accepting of aliens just coming to earth and fitting in with them. It’s a government conspiracy. No, even better; it's another plot point.

“Why are you talking about pointless shit? I’m starting the game.” Jerkface said, and the game started. The game type was SWAT, like the previous game. Vinyl apparently wanted to see the duel as well, as she stayed in the group when the game started.

When the game did start, I saw a wall. I turned around. Ah, okay. There’s a pathway there. I walked down the pathway and turned a corner, and was met with Jekrface’s back. A quick knife to the back later, I smiled as he threw assorted curses at me.

Vinyl cheered. “Nice one. Score one for the ponies!” She cheered. “Oh, you should totally do random quotes as a prediction of your life.” She added out of nowhere.

“Why? What do you mean?” I asked, confused. What was she talking about?

“Well, I met Pinkie a few minutes ago and she said to tell a pony named Sunshine to put up quotes on her story, whatever that means.” Vinyl replied.

Wait, was that Pinkie’s attempt at fourth wall breakage? It was. Wait again, a story? I haven’t even considered it yet. You know what? I will do that. In fact, I'm doing it now. “I think that’s a good idea. I’ll get right on that.” I said. After this chapter, of course.

“Wait, you’re Sunshine? I just felt like passing on the advice.” Vinyl said, surprised. I couldn’t really blame her though. Oh well. I guess I can break the fourth wall too. Hello reader! I am going to do that quote thing, starting next chapter! Oh, look. It’s the Jerkface. What the hell? He just killed my character with a rocket! There aren’t any rockets in SWAT! “Oh, now what the hay, man? That was cheating!” Vinyl yelled.

I had to agree, though I understood how he had acquired it. It is a cheater’s map, after all. He probably has a hideout somewhere. I turned a corner and found him again, putting a bullet in his brain. “What the fuck? I have a fucking rocket!” He yelled.

“Correction: you HAD a fucking rocket.” I stated as I picked up his fallen weapon, throwing the pistol on the ground. I reloaded the weapon and switched back to the Designated Marksman (or Markspony; whatever pleases you) Rifle. “Rockets are no good when headshots reign supreme.”

“Fuck you bitch. Goddammit!” He yelled. My screen showed he committed suicide, which means his previous kill is null and void, giving me a three point lead. How did he die though? “Fucking Incineration Cannons!” Oh, that’s how.

Vinyl let out another laugh. “Karma dude, karma.” She said simply.

After another corner turn, I wound up putting another DMR round into Jerkface’s jerky face. Did I forget to mention I’m still using my wings to play? It’s quite incredible. It’s like my feathers are extra appendages. I can move and feel them individually. I can fly using hands! Heh, not really, but close… Shall I continue my tangent, ramble on with my game, or think about my pony problem? I actually might mentally break down if I think about it, but I still have to deal with it. Boom, headshot! Five point lead! How many to win? Ten! I’m halfway there! So much for his Perfection. That requires 15 kills without dying.

“Fucking fuck fuckity fuck fuck!” Jerkface yelled as I killed him yet again. “How are you wiping the floor with me on my own map?! Hold on. Yes! Ha! Now you die!” I was confused at his meaning until I heard an explosion.

“Oh, that’s not fair! He’s got a bucking tank!” Vinyl yelled. Oh shit. A tank? Really?

I rounded a corner and found a large room with a Scorpion tank in the middle. Thankfully, its back was turned so I had the advantage. I need four more kills and he needs ten. I pulled out the rocket launcher. It was this or make a charge and hope to take the tank by surprise. I grinned. I decided to charge. “LEEEEEEEERRRROOOOOOY JEEEEEEENNKIIIIIIINS!” I yelled as I charged to the rear and climbed on. One grenade later and the tank went boom. I nearly fell off my seat laughing. “Ha ha! I can’t believe I just said that!”

“I can’t believe you just did that! I had a fucking tank!” Jerkface yelled angrily.

I laughed again. “Dude, it’s seven to nothing. Are you really that much of a noob?” I asked. There was a definite pause. “I guess so.” I said, locating another chance to one-up myself, and I did. “I only need two more points now.”

“Hey, I have a question. It’s about that story.” Vinyl said, and she had my attention. “If you add this game, would that make it a crossover?”

“I don’t think so. This is just a minor element, and not a key player. Minor elements that take the time of a single chapter does not make a crossover. Not unless anyone says otherwise.” I answered. I’ll give you the question of the chapter now. Does this make a crossover? Please leave your responses in the comments section of wherever. Heh, I’m pulling a Pinkie Pie. Fourth wall? What is this fourth wall you speak of? Is it this pile of rubble? Ha ha ha ha ha! I’m insane! I’m also tangenting again.

I turned yet another corner and put another bullet in Jerkface’s head. “Why the fuck do I keep failing to kill your little pony plot hole?” He asked, enraged.

I laughed at his anger. “♫Don’t rage quit♫.” I sang. I was amazed by my own singing voice. It was good.

“That was some good singing, Sunshine.” Vinyl said. She thought so too. “How would you like to come with me to the club tonight and perform?” She just offered to take me to a party and have me sing.

“Uh, sure… Though I’m not sure about singing.” I answered nervously.

Vinyl laughed. “The modest type, huh? Don’t worry about it. I’ll be there with you. You just message me your address and I will pick you up.” She said. That made me feel a little better.

“You should totally go.” Gamer 2 commented. Okay, I’ll do it. They convinced me. “Uh, you’re in trouble now.” He said suddenly. What did he mean by that?

“You’re fucking dead now!” Jerkface said. I heard a humming, and took cover. He has a Banshee.

“An air vehicle? That’s the worst yet!” Vinyl yelled. “Hold on, do you still have the rockets?” She asked.

“Yeah, I still have them.” I answered. I knew what to do. I switched to the rocket launcher and found my target. I waited until he got close and fired both shots. The first missed but the second hit its mark. Vinyl and I cheered as the vehicle blew up in a red and purple explosion. “I won! Ha ha! Yes!” I cheered.

“FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK! Fuck you. Fuck this game! FUCK CELESTIA!” Yelled Jerkface as he left the party and game.

“Ha! He rage quited!” Gamer 1 said. We all shared a laugh. After we went back to the menu, Gamer 1 and Gamer 2 left, just leaving me and Vinyl Scratch together.

“I have a question. Is your name really Vinyl Scratch?” I asked. I had to know. I didn’t know whether the fanon was right or not. I probably sounded like an idiot though.

“Yeah, that’s my name. And yours is Sunshine?” She asked back. I held in a sigh of relief. The fanon was right. Thank goodness for that.

“Yep. Here, I’ll give you my address now.” I said. I admit, I’m still uncomfortable with my name, my voice, and my overall situation. I have to keep going through this though. I am not scared. I’m only scared when my physical being or life is at stake, which I feel is not the problem in this case. I sent Vinyl a message with my address on it. “What time are you coming?” I asked.

“Oh, about six… six thirty…” She said, unsure. Whatever, I’ll be ready. “Hey, you wanna play? I just got this game, and haven’t played the Campaign. Let’s co-op it.” She said.

I grinned. “You bet. I just wanna have some fun right now.” I said, and we started playing…

A party with a DJ.

View Online

Well, Pinkie asked for it, so here it is. A random quote. Though I'm not sure about how to do them. Pinkie just wants a quote, so here is my quote for the world.

"Great Scott!"
-Doctor Emmett Brown, Back to the Future. (Or Marty, that one time in the third movie.)

Ha, I lol to myself very hard. Hey, Pinkie didn’t mention what kind of quotes, so I’m going to throw out ones that I like. Here’s my first. It’s totally random. I’m random. It’s a match made in heaven! How are these things supposed to be formatted?


I’ll admit that Vinyl isn’t too bad of a player. She really needs to work on her headshots though. We got a good chance to talk to each other. Apparently she grew up in Baltimare. Go figure. Everyone suspected it was either Canterlot or Ponyville, though she admits that she lived in both places for a time. She was in the first wave of immigrant ponies to this world, and lived in New York until Celestia claimed this bit of land. She now lives with her friend Octavia right down the street from my house and owns a nightclub. Good for her. We did about four levels before she called it quits and left to get ready for tonight.

I turned back to my bed and noticed Pikazilla was staring at me. It was kinda creepy. I turned off the Xbox and left my room, feeling that I had enough. I took my finished lunch plate down with me. I still haven’t mastered stairs so I’m just cheating my way by flying. My sister noticed and frowned at me. “Sunshine, what have I told you time and time again?” She asked.

I set the plate in my mouth down. “Uh, ‘no cuts, no buts, no coconuts?’” I asked. She glared at me. Well I’m new here. What do you expect? It’s still my first day!

“No. No flying in the house.” She said. I rolled my eyes. I just got these wings. I will use them! No coconuts about that! If you don’t like it, you can shove a spoon up your real sister’s ass! I’m sure there is enough room for it. I mean, look at it. It’s fucking huge!

Of course, it’s my ass right now. Oh shit, I really do have an attractive pony body, don’t I? That’s just wrong… on so many levels! I mean, first, I’m just borrowing this body until I can figure out a way to get home. But I am still using it, and everything that goes with it. Yeah, not really pleasant thoughts…

“Hello? Are you listening to me?” The blue unicorn was directly in front of my face now. I jumped back in surprise. Damn, was I lost in thought or something? I need to stop doing that. “I said did you have fun with Snowstorm?” She asked.

“Oh, yeah, he’s fun. We had a great time.” I said. I really did have fun. I got to touch a cloud, kick a pervert, and make a friend. Gender and body issues aside, I had fun. Gender… does it matter that much to me? I mean, sure… It’s not that bad being able to experience what it’s like on the other side of the Xs and Ys. I just have to control what I think about. That’s not too hard. I also have to refrain from giggling. I’m not a giggler. “Anyway, I was invited to a party tonight.” I added.

She smiled. “Where’s the party?” She asked.

“Vinyl’s place.” I answered. She put on an unreadable look. Did she not approve of my choice of party ponies? There’s no way in hell I’m attending a Pinkie party. Those things give people diabetes from all the sugary snacks.

My sister’s face softened. “Okay, just be careful.” She said. She turned around and started to walk back to the couch, but stopped and turned back to me. “When are you going?” She asked.

“Vinyl’s gonna pick me up at six, or somewhere around that time.” I said. She seemed unsure of the time she would pick me up. Meh, that’s just who she is, I guess. I wasn’t going to worry about it. After all, it’s Vinyl Scratch. You’re all jelly of me seeing Vinyl Scratch, aren’t you? I know you all. You’re so jelly.

Copycat went up to us. “Hey, Ocean Wave, Sunshine, I want to play a game.” He said. Oh great balls of fire, his voice is still annoying. Wait, did he just say my sister’s name? He did! Yes! I know her name now.

Ocean Wave turned to him. “Sure, what kind of game?” She asked.

Copycat opened the cupboard door and pulled out Spongebob Monopoly. “Let’s play Monopoly!” He said excitedly.

My English teacher’s speeches about Monopoly rang in my head, and I burst out laughing. You wouldn’t understand why I’m laughing unless you’ve met him. He always used Monopoly in a… dirty kind of way. Like Tucker would say, “Bow chicka bow wow!” So, to hear my little brother say that he wanted to play Monopoly always made my day better. Of course, Monopoly is no longer just an innocent game to me. It’s quite sad actually.

I stopped laughing when I saw their faces. Ocean looked concerned and Copycat looked at me like I was crazy. Don’t get me wrong, I am crazy, so it didn’t bother me a bit. “Uh, no thanks. I’m good.” I said.

I heard a knock at the door and turned to open it. Standing there was a familiar white unicorn DJ. Next to her was a grey earth pony mare with a bow tie and a purple treble clef cutie mark. She looked rather impatient. It took me a couple seconds to recognize her as Octavia. “Am I early?” Vinyl asked. I shook my head. “Oh good. I thought it was gonna take forever to find you. Are you ready?” She asked. I nodded. “Good, let’s go.”

I walked out the door, waving goodbye to Ocean Wave, Copycat, and Octavia, who decided to stay for some reason. I wasn’t going to question it. I don’t usually question the workings of the universe. Or, well, in this case, it’s the multiverse. I’m tangenting again. I don’t care though. I’m just walking along with Vinyl, so I can afford to think. It’s not that hard to think and walk at the same time.

Now then, physically, I’m a yellow Pegasus mare with a blue and pink mane and tail, which, if you just put me as a silhouette, could be mistaken for Rainbow Dash. While I’m not fully comfortable in this body, at least I can keep my real identity a secret. Sprite only knows how long I can keep it up though. I’m not the type of person that can think quickly. I crack under pressure, and if the truth comes out I’ll be labeled insane and left on the street to rot, or thrown into an insane asylum. No pressure, right? Yeah, I’ll just keep telling myself that.

Vinyl’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts. “Snap out of it!” She was yelling in my ear. Why was she yelling? I flinched at the sudden outburst of noise. “Finally! You went into some weird trance thingy and froze up. I’ve been trying to get you out of it for five minutes!” She said, exasperated.

Me, in a trance? I was only thinking. Maybe the pressure is getting to me already? How could it? It’s only my first day. Thank television it’s almost over. I noticed Vinyl approaching me. I put a hoof out to stop her. “I’m okay, just thinking.” I said, trying to calm her down. Well, that and I don’t want her yelling in my ear again. It’s ringing madly. I might be going deaf in that ear. Such a shame. I like hearing things. It’s nice. R.I.P. My Ear.

Another voice made me jump. “Well, don’t think too hard Sunshine. You might break something.” I looked up and saw that Pegasus mare from before. I think her name was Charcoal Embers. What was she doing here?

I looked around. We got one or two stares, which, when I noticed them, turned away to do whatever it is they were doing. Mainly walking. It’s good exercise. “So,” I started, turning back to Charcoal, “what are you doing here? Are you coming to the party with us?” I asked. It would be good to have a responsible mare in the same room as me. You know, as a precaution in case I do something stupid. You know what? Forget that. When I do something stupid. Much better.

Charcoal nodded. “Yeah, I might as well come. Besides, I can see a budding friendship between us, as well as your own troubles.” She said. I had to give a questionable look. Who wouldn’t?

I appreciate that she wants to be friends, but I call bullshit on the second one. “You have no idea what my troubles are.” I said, a little too coldly for my tastes, but it got my point across.

The still airborne black Pegasus smirked. She smirked. I never pictured the calm mare as a smirker. “I know you are having trouble adjusting to a sudden change, and that you have a dark secret.” She said in a tone that reminded me of Twilight Sparkle, with a hint of Trollestia.

I gave her a smirk of my own. “You’re half right Emby. Though, you are very unspecific on your accusation. You won’t win a game of Clue like that.” I said, laughing. Vinyl Scratch laughed too. It felt good to laugh. It always feels good to laugh. Laughter is the best medicine, after all. It’s also apparently an Element of Harmony. The one Pinkie Pie represents. I don’t care how many fanfics say that they are the Elements. The second episode clearly said that they represented the Elements, and therefore were fit to wield them. If they stopped representing them, like when Discord tricked them, then the Elements wouldn’t work for them. Simple. Fudge, my tangenting needs to stop. I’m distracting myself.

Vinyl motioned for us to follow again, so I did, with Charcoal right behind me. I got an uncomfortable feeling and turned around to see her examining my body with a magnifying glass. I scowled and cleared my throat. She got the message and put the glass away, looking professionally at the nearby buildings. She was obviously suspicious of me. I just turned back to Vinyl, who had stopped.

“We’re here! The Vinyl Octaves. I know, sucky name. Me and Tavi share this place, so she insisted that I give half the name to her. I don’t think it mixes well, but Tavi is happy, at least. Come on, I’ll show you around.” She said, and entered the building.

I stepped in and noticed how wide open the space was. There was a big dance floor in the middle, with stools lining the perimeter near the walls. There was a stage in the back and a bar to the left. Speakers and the like were scattered around the room to provide a surround sound feature. All in all, it showed Vinyl’s taste in music quite well, though Octavia would not feel too out of place here.

Charcoal stepped in and looked around too. “Nice place. Very wide open. Sturdy as well.” She noted. She went over to the bar and sat at a stool. “So where is everypony?” She asked.

Vinyl pointed out the door. “They’ll arrive shortly. Just make yourselves comfy until then.” She said, and went to the stage, where her disc jockey station was set up. Vinyl started sorting out her music, and once she was satisfied, adjusted her glasses and opened the door with her magic. Charcoal went off somewhere. I didn't see where.

A steady crowd of ponies entered the club and DJ Pon-3 started up the music immediately. While dubstep was not something I could really get into, Vinyl’s music, which she called “wubstep,” was more enjoyable, so I found an open stool and started bobbing my head to the music. I noticed my tail was wagging too. I found that really odd. I must be enjoying the music that much then.

“Hiya Sunny! Enjoying the party?” A cheerful voice beside me asked. A cupcake was thrust into my vision and I turned to see Pinkie Pie sitting next to me. She had a big smile on her face. I was a bit creeped out by it.

“Uh, yeah. Hi Pinkie.” I said, taking the cupcake. I took a bite of it and enjoyed its taste. “This is a good cupcake. Is that cinnamon I taste?” I asked.

Pinkie nodded, her insanely poofy mane bouncing with each bob of her head. “Yup. I know how much you like cinnamon, so I made it special just for you.” She said. I took another bite, savoring the cinnamon flavoring. Who knew Pinkie could make cinnamon cupcakes? I wasn’t aware they existed. I thought you could do cinnamon muffins at the most. Nope, just put frosting on it and you got a cinnamon cupcake.

Another pony came up to Pinkie from behind. Her lavender coat and starburst cutie mark gave her away as Twilight Sparkle. She whispered into Pinkie’s ear and I still managed to hear what she said. “I don’t think you should be close to her. The princess isn’t ready yet.” She said. Twilight glanced at me, and I waved. She gave me a disapproving look and turned back to Pinkie. “We need more time. Maybe in a day or two. She needs to be assimilated first.” She whispered, still perfectly audible to me. Twilight seemed to notice this fact, and levitated a mug containing some sort of drink in it to me. “You. Drink. Now.” She demanded.

I looked at the floating drink. Whatever it was, it was most likely not good for my health. “No thanks.” I said, pushing it back. I don’t like what she said about assimilation, and I know they’re talking about me. Wait a minute… “You know!” I shouted accusingly, pointing a foreleg at Twilight.

The unicorn glared at me. “Yes, I know. Now drink.” She said, forcing the liquid down my throat. I nearly choked on it. It tasted kinda like apple cider, which I guess it was, though it tasted off a little. It must be hard cider. Wait a minute, Twilight’s trying to get me drunk so I’ll forget tonight. “Not enough.” She said, and levitated three more mugs to me. “Drink these.” She demanded. Not wanting to choke, I complied, chugging each one down. They tasted good. “Good, we’re done here Pinkie.” Twilight and Pinkie left, but not after looking over their shoulders back at me. “Have fun Sunshine.” They said, before heading out the door as the drinks finally started to take effect.

……

………Hello? Is this thing on? It’s me, Vinyl Scratch. Apparently Sunshine wanted me to document what happened after Twilight left, as she can’t remember any specific details in any order. I happily agreed, since we’re now good buds.

Anyway, there I was, finishing a song. “Alright everypony, we’re gonna take things slowly for a bit while I take a short break. Don’t worry, the party isn’t over yet.” I said to the crowd, and put on one of Tavi’s disks. I save my best stuff for when I’m on stage. Which I’m not as I leave the stage and head to the bar. “Hey bartender, a cider for me please. Not too hard.” I said, and a mug slid right into my hoof. I can’t have my cider too hard. The party needs me.

As I was drinking my cider, I noticed Sunshine slumped on her stool with four mugs on the floor. Why in Celestia’s name did she decide to drink all that? I could tell she was wasted from over here. If there is anything I learned from my years of partying, it’s that a wasted mare is just asking for trouble. Unless it’s Berry Punch. Crazy mare’s got a wicked left hook. I called to the bartender. “Why did you give her all those drinks dude? You know that’s just asking for trouble.” I gave him a good scold. He needs it.

He just shrugged. “I didn’t give her anything. Twilight came over and made her drink them all then left with Pinkie Pie.” He said. Wait… Twilight Sparkle forced four of the strongest drinks in the bar down some poor mare’s throat, then just left? That’s not right. There has to be a good reason though.

I left my seat to go back to the stage when I noticed a big stallion that smelled of sweat make his way to the drunken mare. I knew that muscular muffin cutie mark anywhere. It was Stud Muffin, going after his latest potential catch. I wasn’t about to let him get away with an innocent filly like that.

He went right up to Sunshine and started flirting, to which Sunshine responded with gibberish and giggles. He decided he must be safe, because he tried to pick her up. Sunshine must still have a little fight left in her, because I saw her struggling to get away. It was no use, as she just passed out on his back, and he started to leave, looking pretty smug with himself. I decided it was time to step in. “Hey, Butt Muffin.” I called to him.

He turned around to face me. Perfect. “It’s Stud Mu-“ I cut him off as I bucked him in the face. His unconscious form slumped to the ground. I picked Sunshine off of him and left him to security.

I went right back on stage and placed Sunshine next to me. She seemed pretty out of it. “Okay, sorry about the wait. I had to deal with somepony. Anyway, let’s get back to the party!” I shouted out, blaring the music. That seemed to get the drunk Pegasus next to me to wake up at least slightly.

She shook her head, trying to clear it, then looked at me. “Vinyl,” she said, motioning for me to come closer, “I have to tell you something.”

I came closer, to the point where we could hear each other clearly over the music. “What? What is it?” I asked. “What do you want to tell me?”

She leaned in and put her mouth right next to my ear and spoke in a clear voice. “I’m not from this world.” She said.

I leaned back. “What? You’re drunk. Don’t tell crazy stories.” I said, frowning.

She defended herself. “No really, you can ask me again in the morning. I really am from another world. I’m not from Equestria.” She said.

She reeled me back in, and I pushed her away slightly. This mare was crazy. “Then where are you from?” I asked, getting annoyed. I had to get back to the music.

She stood up. “We're good friends now, right?" She asked. I weighed my opinions and nodded. "Good, then I have someone I can trust." She said some one instead of somepony. That's supposed to be hardwired into a pony's brain. She must either be really drunk or telling the truth. "Let me tell you my story.”

Another day, another plot twist.

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“What do you want, Caboose?”
-Tucker
“I want a pony.”
-Caboose
--Red vs. Blue

Oh, my head hurts. Is this gonna become normal for me? Waking up each morning with an aching head? It makes me consider staying in bed. Damn, what happened last night? There was Vinyl Scratch… didn’t she invite me to a party? Yeah, and I went to the party. Oh candy buckets, I went to a party with Vinyl Scratch. If my head wasn’t hurting, I would squee right now. Meh, it can wait. My head hurts too much. What the fudge caused it anyway? Maybe a hangover? No, it couldn’t have been. I don’t drink. Then again, I can’t remember anything. Fucking hell, dude. Whoever got me drunk is getting some good old fashioned revenge. As Bugs Bunny would say, “I hope you realize this means war.” First thing’s first. Where am I? I opened my eyes, letting them slowly adjust to the bright light coming through the window, when I noticed a few things.

First thing I noticed was that the walls were painted blue. My walls were yellow. The second thing was that there was various stereo and other sound and music equipment lying around the room. The third thing was that something on the bed I was on besides me moved. I felt something wrap around my torso. I looked down to see two white hooves wrapped around me. Oh shisno, did I go home with someone else? No, that’s wrong. Totally wrong. I did not deserve that treatment. Oh, the bastard is going to get what’s coming to him. No one violates me like that!

I reached down to pick up a conveniently placed baseball bat, and swung it behind me. I was rewarded with a cry of pain and the hooves being released. I quickly jumped back off the bed to get a better look at the guy responsible for putting me in his bed with him. I was not expecting a white unicorn mare with a blue mane and tail and magenta eyes to look back at me. “Dude, what’s your problem? I let you sleep with me and you hit me with a bat?” She asked, one hoof rubbing where I hit her.

I gave the best “wut” face I could. “Why exactly did you let me sleep with you? What happened last night anyway?” I asked.

Vinyl shrugged. “After Twilight got you drunk, Stud Muffin tried to take you away. I stopped him. You’re welcome. I brought you on stage and you told me your story. After that, I found out that you are one crazy party pony.” She explained to me.

Okay, I had a few questions about her explanation. “Twilight got me drunk? As in Twilight Sparkle? Why the hell would she even think about doing that to me?” I asked, a bit of rage building for the lavender unicorn.

Vinyl could only shrug from her spot on the bed. “Beats me. Anyway, why did you hit me with a bat?” She asked, giving me a stern look.

I felt like doing one of those anime sweatdrops, but since I’m a cartoon pony, not an anime pony, I could only chuckle nervously. “Hehe… Sorry Vinyl. I thought you were someone else. I only saw your hooves. Wait a minute.” I said as a disturbing thought came to mind. “Were you-“

“No, I wasn’t. I don’t work that way.” She cut me off, and I breathed a sigh of relief. “Sorry about that, but you wouldn’t let go of me last night, so I had no choice but to let you sleep on my bed with me. Tavi is gonna chew my head off over it.” She explained. “Oh, and then she’s gonna chew your head off too.” She added quickly. Well fudge, I like my head unchewed.

I took a glance around the room. “Nice room. Very musicy.” I said. Musicy is now a word. Deal with it.

Vinyl smiled. “Yeah. You should see Tavi’s room. It’s all classical and stuff.” She said, giving an amused snort. Hey, I didn’t mind the classical genre any more than I minded Vinyl’s wubstep subgenre. To me, the only bad music was rap and R&B. I never understood them, and I never will. I like classical, jazz, country, pop, rock, and others. Yeah, I have a very wide taste in music. I’m not gonna tangent at this point because you all obviously want me to keep going.

I laughed. “Yep, but she has different tastes in music. Not that I mind though. I like lots of music.” I said.

A British sounding voice spoke from behind me. “See Vinyl? There is somepony out there who can like more than one kind of music.” She said. I turned around to see Octavia standing in the doorway, her mane and tail freshly groomed and her bowtie right there on her neck. “Now then, it’s good to meet you Sunshine. I’m Octavia, Vinyl’s roommate.” She said, giving a slight bow to me, showing her respect.

I swear I blushed, though only slightly. “Good to meet you Octavia. Just please don’t bow like that. There’s nothing to bow to me about.” I said nervously. I didn’t like this kind of treatment.

She giggled. “The humble type, I see. We’ll get along just fine.” She said. “Now, do either of you want breakfast? I found this wonderful recipe for something called French toast.”

I think I may have squeed at that point. “I would love some!” I said happily. I love French toast. It is awesome. It’s better when you spread awesome sauce over it. When I say awesome sauce, I mean syrup. It’s good.

Vinyl laughed at my excitedness. It’s a word now. “Sounds like you’ve had it before. Alright, if Sunny likes it, then I’ll eat it too. Make us a big batch, will ya Tavi?” She asked.

Octavia rolled her eyes. “Of course, Your Highnesses.” She said, giving a small giggle as she went downstairs. It’s good to joke like that. It keeps friendships tight.

Vinyl turned to face me. “Okay, now that you’re sober, can you answer a few questions?” She asked. She levitated her glasses to her face and rested them above her horn.

I nodded. “Besides the one you just asked me? Sure.” I answered, and we both chuckled at that.

Vinyl put a foreleg around me. “I like your humor kid. As for my question, do you really come from a different dimension?” She asked.

I froze. “Please don’t think I’m crazy. I don’t want to be shipped to an insane asylum.” I said quickly. No matter how much I deserve it. I added to myself.

Vinyl looked concerned. “No, I don’t think you’re crazy.” She said, her foreleg still wrapped around me. I pushed it away. Vinyl’s concern grew. “I said you aren’t crazy. I believe you.” She said.

I was stunned. “You… believe me?” I asked hopefully. Vinyl nodded, smiling again. I don’t know what came over me at that point. I felt tears in my eyes and my body just moved on its own to tackle the poor DJ in a hug. I felt so relieved to have someone believe my story. With an ally, I could find my way home easier. I wouldn’t be alone anymore. Well, I’m not really alone, but I would be without help getting home. I couldn’t help myself. I cried out in joy. “Oh thank you so much! I don’t know what I would do without you!” I eventually managed to pull myself away from the hug and wipe a few tears away. “I-I’m sorry. I have no idea what came over me.” I apologized.

Vinyl smiled softly. “It’s okay Sunshine. I’m here for you.” She said, and straightened her glasses. “Now then, if you want to talk about your life before all this, you’re welcome to. All you told me last night was that you’re a human from another dimension. Then you told me the gist of what happened yesterday. I must say, that Stud Muffin guy is stubborn as buck. You are likely to see him again, and he’s gonna try harder. He really likes you. Especially your…” She trailed off.

I grimaced. I knew exactly where she was going with that statement. “How about we wait until after breakfast? We can walk and talk then.” I suggested. Vinyl nodded in agreement. “Good, now let’s see if Octavia is finished. I’m starving. Of course, hunger is constant for me, so I can’t be complaining.” I said, and left the room, gliding down the stairs. “Ha! Take that stairs!” I yelled in triumph. Damn stairs will never get the better of me! I win!

Vinyl walked down the stairs. “You don’t know how to walk down stairs?” She asked.

I shook my head. “Nah, but I have these bitchin’ things instead.” I answered, giving my wings a good flap to emphasize my point. I ended up airborne from the flap and decided to hover for a bit. “See? The stairs’ arguments are all invalid. I can fly.” I landed back down and looked smugly at the stairs.

Vinyl laughed. “You are a riot. You know that, right? I’m so glad I found you. Tavi’s humor is pretty dull.” She said, wrapping her foreleg around me again. I didn’t mind it. We were now good buds, so it didn’t matter. To make things better, my hangover was gone! I was surprised at that. I thought they took longer to get rid of. More pony magic!

“I happen to think my humor is rather funny.” Octavia’s voice sounded from the entryway to the kitchen. She was standing there with a spatula held in her hoof. How ponies are able to do that are in the same category as Pinkie Pie logic to me. “Anyway, the food is done. Could you set up the table please?” She asked, and Vinyl gave a salute and a nod. “Good, then we can eat.”

Vinyl had the table set up in a jiffy. It’s easy when you’re a unicorn and can levitate stuff. As soon as she was done, she courteously levitated our food to the table. Well, Vinyl’s and mine. Octavia was left out and had to carry hers to the table, scowling at the unicorn as she did. Vinyl and I couldn’t help but let loose a few snickers at her expense. I took my seat, sitting “Lyra” style once again. Vinyl and Octavia sent me weird glances. “What?” I asked.

Vinyl pointed to my sitting position. “You sit like Lyra. Why is that?” She asked back.

I shrugged. “I’m used to sitting like this. It’s natural for me.” I answered. I dug in to the food once she had sat down, and was lost in the deliciousness. “This is really good. Thanks Octi.” I said.

Octavia seemed to ignore the nickname I gave her. “You’re welcome Sunshine.” She replied, taking her first bite. Her eyes widened, and her eating pace quickened. “So, I talked to your sister last night. I had no idea you were related to Ocean Wave.” She said.

Vinyl nearly choked on her food. “No way, that was THE Ocean Wave? Why didn’t you tell me?” She exclaimed, pointing at me. What was with her? Is my sister famous or something? “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me your sister was the daughter of the most famous surfer in Equestria.” She said. Well, that was convenient. Why the fudge was everything so convenient? I sent her a glance. She seemed to remember. “Oh. Right. Sorry. We’ll talk more later.” I grinned. She learns fast.

I finished the last of my toasty woasty and got up from the table. “Thanks for the food Octavia.” I said, trying to be polite to the refined cello player.

She seemed to positively respond to that, and smile brightly. “You’re very welcome Sunshine. Glad to see somepony around here with some manners.” She said. Right on cue, I let out a burp. “Well, some manners.” She corrected herself, and sighed.

I left shortly after with Vinyl. “So, what kind of questions do you want to ask me? I’ll answer anything you’ve got.” I said.

Vinyl walked alongside me on the sidewalk. I had no idea where we were going. “Okay, so how are you enjoying your time as a pony?” She asked. Decent first question.

“Yeah, it’s interesting. I had to YouTube how to walk though. What surprised me the most was how useful these stubby hooves are. These things are magical, aren’t they?”

“Yeah, though I never understood it.”

“It’s most likely natural selection and evolution, or some kind of shiz like that.”

“How about your wings? How did you manage to get them working?” Another decent question.

“I’m not totally sure. I guess it was mental work. I can feel the muscles, but my brain registers them differently.” I gave a nervous flutter of my wings. “They even respond to emotional cues.”

“I never thought about it like that. Anyway, I have one more question.”

“Shoot.”

“Are you a lesbian now?” I swear, if I had a drink, Luna would have felt it from the moon. That’s how hard of a spit take I would have done.

“Why the fuck would you ask that? No!”

“So you’re gay?”

"No!" Wait, this is a rhetorical question. Oh, you bastard…

“So you’re bi?”

“Goddammit! You know what? I’m not anything right now! I will not ship anything! No shipping allowed!” I think I can safely say I am done with this conversation.

Vinyl laughed and rolled her eyes. “Whatever dude. Something is going to happen though, whether you like it or not.”

“No! I refuse!” Seriously, when I am going through something like this, the last thing I want is those kinds of feelings creeping up on me like Slenderman. You know what? I should see if I can beat that game. I can totally one-shot that. No, tangent be gone!

Vinyl stopped walking. “Okay, we’re here.” She said. Wait, where were we going? I looked up in front of me. It was a big building with the word “Walmart” on the front. Walmart? We’re going to fucking Walmart? I should have known Vinyl would try to troll me like this.

Vinyl entered through the automatic doors and I hurried to follow her, despite how much I didn’t want to. I hate shopping. “Okay, you got me. Why are we here?” I asked.

Vinyl turned around and smirked. “That’s one of life’s great mysteries, isn’t it?” She countered, and walked over to the clothing section, as if to openly mock me. “You need clothes right?” She asked.

I shook my head. “I already have a full wardrobe, despite the fact that no one wears any clothes. Seriously, why do ponies have clothes if they’re optional? It makes no sense to me.” I said.

Vinyl shrugged. “I don’t know. The option is there for those who want it.” She said. The unicorn looked around before deciding to explore the appliances. “Hey, do you know any good blenders? I accidentally broke the last one.” She said.

I don’t want to know how she could accidentally break a blender. “I have a Ninja one at home. They work decently.” I said. I’m not a blender expert. How am I expected to know these things?

Either way, Vinyl took my advice and levitated up a blender, then realized she had nothing to put it in. “Hey, Sunny, could you go get a basket or something?” She asked. Of course, I have to be the basket fetcher.

I went to find the basket, when my big blue pony eyes fell upon a line of carts. My wings twitched, and I realized the only time I used them was gliding down the stairs. I have wings, and I should be taking advantage of this wonderful opportunity. I pulled out a cart from the line and pushed it, using my wings to propel me faster. Oh, this was going to be good. I pushed the cart around the corner and jumped in. I felt like Scootaloo on her scooter. I kept my wings going, angled to achieve forward thrust instead of upward flying type stuff. It felt awesome to do this.

Sadly, such awesomeness must end, as it did when I ended up crashing into an unsuspecting pony. I fell out of the cart and we tumbled a few yards until we came sliding to a stop. It goes without saying that it hurt quite a bit. After I picked myself up off the floor, I turned to see the pony I hit. She had a midnight blue coat with a long blue and black striped mane. Her tail matched the mane, like most ponies do. Her cutie mark consisted of some sort of constellation. I’m not knowledgeable in astronomy, so I wouldn’t know much about it. The horn from her head gave her away as a unicorn. She frowned at me. “Watch where you’re going next time.” She told me.

“Sorry. I couldn’t help myself. It was just too tempting to ride the cart.” I said. It was totally worth it though.

Her frown relaxed. “I’m sure it was. I’m Starry Night. What’s your name?” She asked.

“I’m Sunshine. Nice to meet ya.” I greeted. That name was starting to feel natural now. Is this a result of my extended stay in this body? Is this Twilight’s fault? I bet it is. She obviously has a plan for me, so I need to find out what.

“Well Sunshine, I’m sure we’ll meet again if the stars align just so. Bye for now.” Starry Night said, walking away. What an odd character… Oh well. I still need to get the cart to Vinyl.

I found Vinyl looking over stereo systems. She smiled when she noticed me. “It’s about time you got here. Take a look at these things. They suck.” She said, putting the blender and a few CDs she found in the cart.

I looked at the stereos. “Well of course. This is just Walmart, after all. They prefer quantity over quality. Try Best Buy if you want some better stuff, or even better, look the stuff up online. I don’t know much though, so I can’t tell you where to go for the best deal.” I said.

Vinyl shrugged. “Whatever. I just need to pick up a few more things, and then we can go.” She said, taking the cart. We looked at radios and other sound related devices. Vinyl seemed very interested in all this, though it’s really no surprise. When we were done there, we hit the grocery aisles. I helped her pick up what she needed. Helping makes it go by faster. That seemed to be the end of it, so Vinyl paid for all the stuff and we left.

As we were leaving, I noticed a bit of purple from the corner of my eye. When I turned my head, the purple was gone. I knew it was Twilight spying on me. It looks like she dropped something in her haste to get out of my sight. I picked it up. It was a notebook with words “Projects for the Princess.” Stamped over it, in big red letters, were the words “Top Secret.”

Vinyl looked at what I held in my hoof. “Dude, that is so mysterious. Come on; let’s get back to my place. We can read it there.” She said. I nodded and followed her.

Whatever was in this this notebook, I felt would either solve my problems, or dig myself into a bigger one. Whichever it was, I knew I would have to confront Twilight about it, and maybe even Celestia herself. This could get interesting.

Reader of the Stars.

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Tex: Look down there: you can see them plotting.
Church: Maybe they're scheming?
Tex: No, definitely plotting. Scheming looks different.
-Red vs. Blue (again)

“I don’t get it. This just seems too easy. Why did Twilight drop this book? Twilight never drops books like this.” Vinyl said as we started walking back to her house. I didn’t want to go to mine, considering I was now potentially on an adventure. This was gonna be awesome.

“I don’t ask questions. Asking questions means there will be some sort of logic behind why. I don’t do logic.” I replied. Vinyl rolled her eyes. “What? I can’t be illogical? Logic is for sane people. I am not sane; therefore I logically do not need logic.”

Vinyl gave me a confused look, and then shrugged it off. “You can’t be sane if you’re taking this change so well. I’d be freaking out if I were you.” She said.

I had to react to that one. “Oh no, I’m a fucking pony in a parallel universe and I have to tell everyone and hope that someone believes me or I could just plain fucking panic!” I shouted sarcastically, waving my forelegs in the air randomly.

Vinyl laughed. “Yeah, I guess that’s the best choice. Though, why did you tell me?” She asked.

I shrugged. “I guess part of me wanted to tell someone. I need an ally I can trust, rather than a friend I don’t know. You are a trustworthy pony. You are also a good friend. After all, every adventure hero needs a great sidekick, right?” I asked, getting a look from Vinyl.

“What makes you think you’re the hero? What if I want to be the hero?” she asked back, but by her tone, she wasn’t being serious.

I held in a chuckle. “You aren’t the one apparently being stalked by Twilight Sparkle.” I said, making sure to put emphasis on her name, hoping she heard me. A light yelp followed by a flash of light answered that question. She was stalking me, and I bet she wants the book back too. Well, she isn’t getting it until I’ve read it. I know it has something to do with me.

The DJ turned into her front yard, and I realized we made it back to her house. I took a quick glance around. No Twilight. Either she left or she just found a better hiding spot. Oh well. In I go.

Octavia wasn’t in the living room, but from the sounds upstairs, I’d say she’s practicing her cello. I decided to head upstairs to listen in. I stopped at her door and just listened to her play. She was proficient. That much was sure. Of course, when one plays the cello as long as her, one tends to be good at it. I remember the time in elementary school in which I played the trumpet. I wasn’t bad, but I only had a couple months of training. Maybe I should try again. Of course, cello and trumpet don’t duet together. Damn, stop tangenting me, you’re missing out on Octavia’s music. Sorry me.

I stood there for another ten minutes, just enjoying the music. When it stopped, I finally knocked on her door. Octavia opened the door, and looked mildly pleased, and at the same time a bit surprised. I was a little shocked at how easily I could read the facial expressions of these ponies. They were quite expressional. She quickly regained her composure and smiled politely at me. “Hello again, Sunshine. Was there something you wanted to say?” She asked.

I nodded. “I heard you practice your cello, and I have to say you are really good. I loved it.” I said, smiling. It was legit. I really like her music. I have a vast appreciation for music. Even if they aren’t that good, I’ll still give them credit for their effort. Guess it comes from the time I played the trumpet.

Octavia’s polite smile brightened. “I’m glad you like it. Most of Vinyl’s friends don’t appreciate my work.” She said.

“Well, I like all sorts of music. The only thing I don’t like is rap.”

“I don’t understand human rap music either. Do you play?” Octavia asked.

“I did. I used to play the trumpet back in 5th grade.”

Octavia got a little more curious. “Really? Why did you stop?” She asked.

I shrugged. “I kept getting in trouble with the teacher, so I decided it wasn’t worth it.” I really did. True story.

Octavia looked like she was in thought for a moment, and then went back to her polite smile. “I see. Well, it was nice talking to you again. I say, you have a good taste in music, but an odd choice in friends.” She said.

“I like the strange ones. They make life more fun.”

Octavia giggled. “I see what you mean. Anyway, have a nice day Sunshine.” She shut her bedroom door. I turned around and glided down the stairs into the living room, where Vinyl was on the couch, looking at the front cover of Twilight’s book.

I looked at the cover too. “You know, it would make sense to read a book.” I said. I picked up the book and opened it. I checked the Table of Contents, knowing Twilight would have a very detailed one, considering it’s her notebook. I scanned the contents. “Okay, Operation: Cupcakes, Operation: Sweetie-Bot, notes on human habits.” None of these seemed interesting at the moment. “Operation: Harmonize, page 42.” I turned to that page, feeling like that would be it.

Operation: Harmonize
Twilight’s notes (Simplified by Spike)

Test Subject: Danger Zone (A.K.A. Mathew)
Species: Unicorn
Status: Green

Subject experiences short bursts of rage, but unicorn nature prevents overexertion of anger. Subject lost human memories after a trip to the bar. Inebriation of test subject proves effective in assimilation. Other ponies responded to new memories well. Good development in magic. Has a small temper, but is otherwise friendly.

Result: Successfully Harmonized. All traces of chaos gone.

I turned the page.

Test Subject: Three Leaf (A.K.A. Stacey)
Species: Earth Pony
Status: Green

Subject was depressed at first, but after spending time with friends, seemed to recover. Accepted new memories without question. Other ponies almost broke artificial memories, but recovered with minor assistance. Friendly disposition.

Result: Successfully Harmonized. All traces of chaos gone.

There appeared to be one more, so I turned the page once more, and gasped.

Test Subject: Sunshine (A.K.A. William)
Species: Pegasus
Status: Yellow

Subject showed normal signs of gender reconfiguration. Afterwards, adapted to it perfectly. Slight motor control problem at first. (I blame myself for that.) Fluttershy reported normal behavior. Pinkie Pie reported trance-like state under cinnamon rolls. Despite being from another dimension, subject seems to recognize certain ponies. Either that or the new memories are kicking in, despite the strong resistance. Inebriation just developed hostile intentions towards me. I feel like this one could be more trouble than she’s worth. Too bad, we could have become friends.

No result yet.

I felt like flipping a table. I’m not the first. I’M NOT THE FIRST! Twilight has done this twice already. I’m the third victim of this torture. Not only that, but I’m the only one to experience “gender reconfiguration.” Sounds better then gender swap, or gender bend. It doesn’t matter though. I’m a chick, and it’s all Twilight’s fault. It wasn’t an accident. She did it on purpose. I ripped out the page in anger. I’ll keep it for now. I threw the book behind me. I was done with it. Twilight can have it.

A tap on my shoulder sent my anger into my muscles, and I kicked at whatever had the nerve to bother me. A yelp, a thud, and a crash all occurred behind me. I turned around, ready to expect Twilight on the ground, bleeding. What I found was Vinyl on the ground, knocked out and bleeding slightly, a broken dish scattered around her. I felt the anger suddenly leave me, replaced by sadness and fear. I ran out the door, not looking back. I couldn’t handle it anymore. I ran into the trees, not wanting anyone to find me.

Stupid stupid STUPID! That’s what you are! You kept it all bottled up inside, instead of facing the problem. Now look what you did. You hurt your friend. Now you are on your own. You have nopony to turn to anymore. You might as well give up.

The voice in my head was right. After kicking Vinyl in the face, she probably doesn’t want anything to do with me. I was stuck here alone and there was no way to get back. I can’t stand up against Twilight. I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I let the tears flow. It felt almost good to let my emotions out, and it’s not like I can do anything differently. I messed up. I seriously fucked myself up. I don’t know how long I cried. It felt like hours. I just sat there, wallowing in self-pity. I was alone in this world.

A twig snapping brought me back to reality. I looked around, wiping a few tears away, but not all of them. I wanted whoever came here to see I was crying. Could it be the police? Did Vinyl decide to call them on me? I wouldn’t be surprised. Maybe someone just decided to explore the woods. It seemed likely. These woods are interesting. I like nature. Sometimes I would-no. No tangent now. Focus. I saw a lavender figure approach me, about fifty feet away. It was option C: Twilight Sparkle. She came to hear my surrender and end the pain. You know what? I was happy to let her do so. She came closer and smiled. “So, you decided to stop resisting?” She asked. I nodded. I couldn’t handle it anymore. “Good. After all, you have nopony to turn to anymore. You might as well give up.” She said, her horn glowing.

Something clicked within me. The voice in my head said the same thing. That wasn’t just any voice in my head. That was her voice in my head. She tricked me into giving up. The problem was I agreed. I did give up. While I wasn’t happy with her, she was right. I was done. It was over. She came closer and lowered her horn to my head. It was all going to be better. I’m sorry, my friends from my dimension. I failed, but there was nothing I could do. I closed my eyes and waited for it to end.

I waited a bit more. It still hasn’t come.

I waited. Still nothing.

I finally decided to open my eyes. I was met with a meadow straight out of Equestria. Wait, how the fuck did I get here? I looked up. The moon was shining brightly. It looked good. The night sky was a beautiful thing.

“I’m glad you appreciate my work.” Came a voice from right beside me. I jumped and stumbled back. I heard giggling and turned to see who startled me. She was dark blue with a flowing mane and tail resembling the night sky. A horn was on her head and a pair of wings were on her sides. I recognized her easily as Princess Luna, ruler of the night. “Sorry, I couldn’t help it.” She said.

I dusted myself off. Hang on a sec. “Am I dreaming?” I asked.

Luna nodded. “You are. I had to protect you from Twilight Sparkle’s spell. She is making a big mistake in undergoing this experiment.” She stated, giving me a friendly smile.

I shook my head. “You should have let her. I have nothing left. I hurt my only true friend in this world, and have no one to turn to anymore. I lost, and she won.” I said dejectedly. I felt my ears flatten down, and more tears started to come.

Luna lifted my head up and gave me a suddenly hard look. “You are not alone here. Vinyl Scratch has nothing against you, and neither does Octavia. They like you and still want to be your friend. There is also Charcoal Embers and Starry Night too. They like you for you. Don’t throw your life away like this.” She laid down and put a wing around me. “There is also someone else who wants to talk with you.” She said, and pointed across the meadow where a bipedal figure approached us.

He was really tall, but not quite twice my height. I saw short brown hair, a pair of jeans, shoes, and a Halo 4 T-shirt. His brown eyes looked down at my blue ones and I realized I was looking at me. “Hello.” He said. Yep, definitely me.

It took me a moment to regain my senses. “How is this possible?” I asked, looking between Luna and myself.

The humanized me was the first to answer. “Allow me to introduce myself. I am a multidimensional traveler from Calcutta. I travel the multiverse, studying as much as I can. I thought your travel to this dimension was an anomaly. A mistake on my part. I was wrong. Twilight caught the signal and pulled you into this one. I’m doing my best to live your life, but of course Jennifer knows about me. I’m also trying to figure out a way to fix this and get you back home. Luna, seeing Twilight and Celestia’s mistake, has offered to help me. For now, see what you can do on your side. See if you can figure something out.” He said.

I nodded, suddenly filled with hope. I could get home after all. All I needed to do was get away from Twilight and stay safe. I then realized how close I was to losing. “What about Twilight? She’s right in front of me, still trying to get rid of my memories. What do I do?” I asked.

Luna smiled at me again. “Just trust in your friends. They’ll help you through this.” She said. Her horn glowed and she touched my head with it.

The forest came back to me, and so did the purple unicorn, standing in front of me with a confident smile on her face. It was also darker. I must have been sleeping for a while. Before she could react, I thrust myself into the air. “I’m not letting you take my memories away. I have decided not to quit.” I said.

Twilight narrowed her eyes at me. “The spell didn’t work? How? You don’t have any magic defenses. Either way, you lost. You don’t have any friends aside from those I made for you.” She said.

“That’s where you’re wrong!” A voice from the side said. We both turned and found Starry Night standing there, her horn glowed a deep blue. “I am her friend, and the stars say that her destiny is not yours to control.” She said.

Twilight ignored her and turned back to me. She fired a beam from her horn. I braced for it to hit me, but it never did. Starry Night deflected it with her magic. Twilight glared at the blue unicorn. “You must understand. Sunshine has reached status red. She can no longer go about freely.” She said, pointing at me.

I landed down next to Starry Night. “I am a free mare, and I will go home, whether you like it or not!” I yelled at her.

Starry Night nodded. “It is the destiny laid out for her by the stars.” She said. “You have no right to change it, no matter what the sun says.” With that, she lit up her horn and the next thing I knew, I was in a house. Pictures of star charts were all over the walls, and there was a night theme to everything. I liked it. It had an atmosphere to it that felt calming. “Welcome to my home Sunshine. I had to teleport us here to get away from the student of the sun.” Starry explained.

“You teleported us all the way here? You’re a pretty gifted unicorn.” I said. Starry smiled. “I have to ask you something. Why did you save me? How did you even find me?” I asked.

“The stars tell me things. The night is my teacher, and I am her student.” She said.

“I hope you realize you’re more cryptic than Celestia.” I deadpanned. She giggled. Then she laughed. Then I laughed. Before we knew it, we were on the floor laughing our flanks off. It felt good to laugh. Its official, Pinkie Pie has the best Element of Harmony ever. Laughter is awesome. After a good minute or two, I got up and stopped laughing. That felt great. “Even so, I still have to thank you for saving me. Also, I have to thank you for considering me a friend, even though we only met briefly.” I said.

Starry Night gave me a soft smile. “The stars tell me many things, but I don’t need them to know who makes a good friend.” She said. That made me feel good, but it brought up another thought. What about Vinyl Scratch? Starry seemed to sense my troubles. “If you’re worried about the DJ, she doesn’t have anything against you. Both she and her roommate like you and will still want to be your friend.” She said. That calmed my nerves. “Now, we are safe here. The student of the sun can’t find us here. If you’re hungry, bored, or tired, let me know.” She went into the other room, leaving me to collect my thoughts.

Princess Luna said that Vinyl Scratch was okay, and didn’t hate me. The dimensional traveler that is apparently me said they are working together to find a way home for me. He also said for me to try and find something here that could help. I could try and make friends with someone who could help. I’m not sure who would be able to help me though. Twilight is probably going to blacklist me, or get me arrested. Either way, I’m not safe here anymore. Okay, I think I know what to do. I’m going to need to gather my friends and embark on a journey to find a way home. Should be fun.

I followed Starry Night into the other room, which turned out to be an observatory. More star charts, constellations, what looked like a picture of Princess Luna, and a telescope that was bigger than Twilight’s. She was looking through the telescope when she noticed my presence. Starry turned to face me. “You wish to journey to find salvation, don’t you?” She asked. Before I could nod, she continued. “The road will be rough and you may have to look away from the sun to find the light, but be assured, you’re not alone. I will accompany you, as will your friends. The quest will be long though. You will need a bit of help.” She said, and then gave a slight smirk. “I happen to know somepony who can help.”

I lit up. “Really? You’d be willing to help? I can’t tell you how much this means to me. Let’s go find this pony.” I said. I then yawned. “Of course, we can do that in the morning. I need actual sleep. What happened earlier was not real sleep.”

Starry Night giggled. “Sure. You can sleep on the couch.” She said, pointing back to the living room. I went back and laid down on the couch. It was comfy. I let myself relax and closed my eyes. Sleep would be good now.


“I am very disappointed in you Twilight.” Celestia said. She was in her throne room in Canterlot, Equestria. A dejected-looking Twilight was in front of her. “First you lose the notebook, and then you fail to remove Sunshine’s memories.”

Twilight shot her head up to look at her, desperation in her eyes. “But Princess, she had help from an outside source. A unicorn came at the last second and escaped with Sunshine.” She said, trying to defend herself.

Celestia shook her head. “Your first attempt failed, and the unicorn wasn’t there. I sense there was more than one pony helping her.” She said.

“But Vinyl Scratch hates her now. I mean, Sunshine did kick her in the face.” Twilight stated. “She has to hate her after that.”

Celestia shook her head again. “You forget that Sunshine already told Vinyl Scratch everything. Not to mention they are both stubborn. Vinyl will easily forgive her, and will even chase after her, dragging her roommate along, like she always does.” She said.

Twilight couldn’t argue with that. The former Ponyville DJ was known for being as stubborn and loyal as Rainbow Dash. Once, she considered using Vinyl as a substitute for Rainbow Dash just in case, but threw that idea out the window. Rainbow Dash would not be happy if they had to use the Elements of Harmony without her. Not to mention they would never have to because she would always be there. “I’ll fix this. Don’t worry Princess.” She said finally.

Celestia smiled. “I know you will succeed. I don’t have any doubts about you, my faithful student. If you need the Elements of Harmony, they are always available.” She said, levitating the box of said magical artifacts into view.

“I don’t want to use them yet. They don’t have any effect outside of Equestria. Her search will eventually take her here though, and that’s when we harmonize her.” Twilight explained her plan.

The Princess of the Sun gave the matter a little thought. “Very well then. Just keep an eye of her and don’t forget to bring your friends along. You could learn something valuable about friendship from this.” She said. Twilight nodded and teleported out.

From in the shadows, Princess Luna watched the whole thing, telepathically transmitting the conversation to a soundly sleeping Sunshine, along with a message. “Keep your friends nearby, and trust your instincts. You are now being hunted.

The Best Team Ever!

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Simmons: Shotgun!
Grif: Shotgun--- fuck.
Donut: Shotgun's lap!
Simmons: Fuck.
-Red vs. Blue

I woke to the sight of the star charts on Starry’s wall. I didn’t notice before, but there is a replication of the night sky on her ceiling. She seemed really interested in the night sky. The scent of pancakes came into my nose and I realized Starry must already be up and cooking. I wish I could pay back these ponies hospitality, but I guess friendship will have to do for now.

I rolled off the couch and onto the floor. It didn’t hurt because I’m used to doing that. Sometimes I would do it for fun. Getting up, I saw Starry standing at the doorway with a plate of pancakes in her magical grip. She set it down on the coffee table in front of me. The smell was delicious. While I wasn’t a normal pancake person, I could make an exception…

The pancakes were delicious. They truly were. Starry Night was a good cook. I felt satisfied by the pancakes. “So, I assume the stars told you about my full predicament.” I said, getting up from the table. Starry Night levitated the empty plate and fork back to her and put it in the sink.

Starry shook her head. “They haven’t been clear on that. It was a cloudy night. The pegasi have yet to take control of the weather on this world. Anyway, could you shed some light on the subject of your problem, besides the obvious?” She asked.

“You said you knew someone who could help get us a ride. Why don’t we walk and talk there?” I suggested. I wanted to get moving, considering that dream I had last night. Luna must really be on my side to warn me like that. She said that I’m being hunted by the Elements of Harmony, but they can’t use the magical devices until I’m in Equestria. Of course, tanks were always an option.

Starry seemed to agree with my suggestion, and opened the door. She levitated a saddlebag onto her. “Just follow me. Be careful, as I don’t know when we could be jumped.” She said. I nodded and followed her out the door. “So, what seems to be your problem?” She asked.

“This is my problem.” I said, showing her the paper. Don’t ask where I got it. My guess is that all ponies have, in addition to saddlebags, a small hammer-space which they have access to for one or two small items. Pinkie Pie is an exception to this rule, of course. I used this hammer-space to store the page.

Starry took the page with her magic and read it. Her eyes went wide. “Gender reconfiguration? That is cruel. How could they do such a thing?” She asked. I shrugged. “Well, I hope you can get back okay.”

“I don’t know. They obviously have a reason for doing this, but I can’t begin to imagine what that reason is.” I said, taking the page back. Aaaand in the hammer-space it goes. Until I get my bag back, it’ll have to do. Wait a minute; I left my bag at Vinyl’s house. Damn… I’m still not sure if she has even forgiven me. I’d rather not risk it. I can just get a new bag later.

The rest of the walk went by in silence until a familiar neighborhood came into view. “Really? She lives here? Wait, wouldn’t Twilight check my house to see if I’m there?” I asked.

Starry nodded. “Yes, but we’re not going to your house. We’re going to that one.” She said, pointing to a house a few over from my own. However, I had to pass right by my house. We got closer, and I noticed Vinyl and Octavia talking with Ocean at the front door. Okay, just keep walking and they won’t notice you.

“Sunshine!”

Dammit…

Ocean Wave rushed towards me and scooped me up in a big hug. I swear I heard a rib or two cracking. I know for a fact though I was suffocating. “Hug… Air… Need…” I managed to say.

“Oh, sorry.” She said, and lightened her grip. I pushed myself out of her hug. “I was worried when they said you ran off without your bag. Please don’t run off again.” She pleaded.

“Too late. I’m running off right now with Starry here to save my own ass from the demonic forces of the Elements of Harmony.” I said with a cheerful smile. Ocean had a shocked and rather confused face. Vinyl, who just caught up to the rest of us, looked ready to jump in with me. Octavia wasn’t looking at me. Rather, she was looking at Vinyl with a face I can only describe as, “please don’t drag me with you.”

Before Ocean could question my sanity, or lack thereof, Vinyl chipped in happily. “Awesome! So you’re going on an adventure? Count me in! Tavi too.” She said, wrapping a foreleg around Octavia and pulling her in closer to her. Octavia sighed in defeat. I just smiled more.

“Welcome to the club! Say, you wouldn’t happen to have my bag with you, would you?” I asked. I didn’t like leaving my stuff there, but I panicked. It just kinda happened.

Vinyl shook her head. “Sorry, I was thinking that you would come back and pick it up. We can head back there. If we’re going on an adventure, I need to get some stuff too.” She said.

Octavia shook her head. “You are not packing your bass cannon. We are not lugging that thing around.” She scolded. Vinyl’s ears drooped.

Mine perked up, however. “A bass cannon? An actual bass cannon?” I asked. Bass cannon is best canon cannon.

“Yeah, it’s pretty cool.” She said sheepishly. Hey, Vinyl Scratch is not the modest type, and she is being too modest. Either that or the fanon is wrong.

“We can go by your house once we make a stop first to get something for the trip.” Starry said. I nodded and followed her. Vinyl followed me, and Octavia followed her. I looked back and Ocean was still standing there with that expression on her face.

When we all arrived at the house, Starry knocked on the door. A mint green unicorn mare answered the door. Lyra. I should have known it was Lyra. Yet, this was a shocker. I guess I honestly didn’t expect it to be her. Meh, did it really matter? “Hey Starry. How are you today?” She greeted and asked.

Starry smiled. “Hello Lyra. We’re here to borrow your friend.” She said.

Lyra’s smile vanished instantly. “Why? What do you need him for?” She questioned harshly. What? Him? Who is she talking about?

Starry looked defensive now. “Let me explain. We’re going on a road trip and you have the fastest means of getting us anywhere.” She said.

Lyra didn’t stop her glare. “So you think you can just come here and take him?” She asked. Lyra then noticed me and the others. “Oh, and your bringing these ponies too?”

I stepped forward. “Hi, I think you may know me. I live just over there, in the house with the stupefied unicorn in front of it. I need your help. There is somewhere I have to be, and you apparently have the best way of getting there.” I explained.

I noticed Lyra’s frown weaken. “I-okay… but on one condition.” She said, once again giving a hard look, but to me this time. “You let me come with you.”

Starry sighed, but relented. “Okay, you can come. You’ll have to sleep on the floor though.” She said.

Lyra smiled. “Great! Come on inside. I’m gonna get him.” She said, and dashed upstairs as we entered. Her home was a pleasant light blue color. Almost like the sky. It was an almost calming color. There was a bookshelf in the living room, containing everything from romance fiction to music books. I noticed some magic books, cookbooks, and a book on human anatomy. I picked up “Magical Musical Instruments” and sat on the couch as I waited for Lyra. Octavia once again gave me that weird look and was about to question my sitting habits again when Vinyl stopped her, shaking her head.

I believe it was about this time when Lyra came back down. “Okay, he’ll be right down. Then we can show you the new features we’ve added.” She said. Starry nodded her understanding while I just continued to sit there, confused at everything she’s saying. Why doesn’t she just make sense and be done with it?

I was about to turn back to the book when I saw something come down the stairs. My eyes widened when I saw it was wearing jeans and work boots. It was tall, bipedal, and wearing clothes. Once again, I shouldn’t be surprised, yet here I was, gawking at what was coming down the stairs: a human. Lyra was hiding a human upstairs. Probably in her attic. Damn, now I feel sorry for the dude. He looked to be maybe in his high-20s – low-30s. His brown hair really could use a trimming. He also could use a shave. I guess he liked it that way. I wasn’t gonna judge him. He looked right back at me and gave us a wave. “The yellow one is our client, right?” He asked, turning back to Lyra.

Lyra nodded. “Yeah. The others are coming along for the ride. Honestly, I still don’t know where we’re going.” She said.

I got up from the couch and put the book back. “Okay, you are hiding a human in your attic… How is he supposed to help me out?” I asked skeptically.

Lyra and the human exchanged glances, and smirked. “You’ll see. Just follow us.” She said. I shrugged and followed her outside to the back of her house. She had a really big shed. You could fit a bus in there. I voiced my opinion to Lyra. She just smiled. “Not a bus, but you’re close.” She said, opening the big front door.

Inside was a large rectangular shape the same color as Lyra. Her cutie mark was scattered all over the sides as a bit of decoration. I could tell there were windows on the sides, though they were one-way windows. There wasn’t much else notable on the outside. Four tires, a windshield, and what looked like a couple of satellite dishes were the only things left to describe. Yep, that thing was totally a RV.

We circled around to the right side of the large vehicle, and the human stuck his key in the door. Unlocking the door, he opened it and stepped inside. I followed, and was awestruck by the interior. The inside was a yellow, almost golden, like Lyra’s eyes for the most part. There were a few other colors meant as details for specific objects. Mainly black. For example, the television hanging from the ceiling, the counter for what I guessed was a kitchen, the microwave on top of it, and the driver and passenger seats were all black. Another thing that I noticed was that the passenger seat was made for a pony to sit on, and also had Lyra’s cutie mark on it. Looking towards the back, there were two bunk beds, but I knew that wasn’t going to be enough. The beds were human sized, so maybe we could fit two ponies per bed. There was a single bathroom with a sink, shower, and toilet. I knew that was going to be hell later. There were also a couple of plush seats and a table between them. This was a pretty big RV, I realized. It had to be expensive as a New York stripper… Not that I knew how much they cost… MOVING ON!

After my self-given tour, I turned back to Lyra, giving her and the dude a questioning look. “Where did you get this thing? It looks really expensive.” I questioned.

Lyra shrugged. “Apparently Equestrian gems are very valuable on Earth. I sold my old Gala dress I got from Rarity and we bought this RV.” She answered. Okay, that answered one question but raised three more.

“Okay, wait. You went to the Gala?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“I’m guessing the dress had a bunch of gems in it, due to the fact that Rarity made it?”

“You sound surprised. Of course.”

“Okay, one more question. Why did you buy an RV of all things?”

“I wanted to see the human world, so what better way to do it than in style?”

“Can’t argue with that logic.” I said. After a moment, I laughed. “You are the most interesting people I’ve met, and you’re not even people! I mean, seriously! Look at this situation. Four mares, a human, and a government experiment. It’s like the start of a bad joke. The punch line is gonna be a good one. I can tell.” I laughed again. I just thought of another question, and turned to the human. “Who are you and why did you decide to join Lyra?” Technically that was two questions, but at this point, who gives a flying fuck? I could give one, but I’m not that kind of person. Pony. Whatever.

“My name is Tyler. Sorry. I should have introduced myself sooner. Who are you?” He asked back.

“Just call me Sunshine. I have no second part to my name as far as I know. Now, about the second part of my question? How did you meet Lyra and why are you still with her?” I reiterated.

“I met Lyra the first day Equestria came to our world. She came to me seeking to study humans before Twilight Sparkle got the chance. She also wanted to see the world. Being a truck driver, I accepted her request to travel with me. She gave me a big bag of your world’s currency. Bits, I believe they were called.” He explained. Lyra motioned for Tyler to continue.

“After a month or two of travelling the country, Lyra said that she didn’t get to have many opportunities to study basic human culture. So, I quit my job as a trucker, and Lyra sold her Gala dress to buy this RV. We used it to study as many places as we could for a year before she decided to try a new field of study. She wanted to live with a human in their natural habitat – a home. So, we moved here. Two months ago, Equestria claimed this bit of land and practically kicked all the humans out. Lyra has had to hide me here. I’ve been in the attic ever since. It’s not bad there. Lyra is a really good friend.” He finished his story. He then added a question to me. “So, I don’t believe I caught your name and story. Who are you and why are you here?”

“One of life’s great mysteries, isn’t it?” I asked with a chuckle. “Anyway, like I said, I’m Sunshine. Why I’m here is a simple reason. I just want to go home. Twilight Sparkle and Princess Celestia are working on something. I have no idea if the others are involved. They’ve been turning humans into ponies.” I said, and gave him the page from my hammer-space again. “They call it Operation: Harmonize. I can only formulate theories as to the operation’s true goal. One thing is for sure though, and that is it needs to be stopped. Unfortunately, I’m not the one to stop it. I just want to get home, away from those crazy bastards.” I gave my explanation. Tyler looked at me weirdly for a second, looked at the page, looked back at me, and then he laughed. “What’s so funny? Am I just another crazy bitch? Is that it, assdick?” I glared at him. Okay, this guy was making me mad. Why the fuck was he laughing at me?

“No, I’ve just never heard a pony talk like that. It’s so hilarious to hear something so cute say something like that.” He said. No, don’t do it. Don’t blush… Damn, I blushed at that comment. Cute? Well, I do think the ponies in the show are cute. Applebloom especially. She’s just a big bowl of “D’aww.” But me, cute? Fuck no! I looked away, frowning. I couldn’t show him my blush. He still picked up on it though, and laughed again. “Damn, stop being so adorable! You’re gonna make me say it!” He said.

I blushed harder. Goddammit… “S-say what?” I squeaked out. I must be so fucking embarrassed right now for my voice to come out two octaves higher that what it’s supposed to. That didn’t help it at all, and I swear my entire face must be red right now. I curled into a ball, hiding my face with my blue and pink tail. It’s actually really soft, kinda like a Saint Bernard’s fur, just more pony-like. How the fuck does that even work? I’m a pony, not a dog…

“D’awwwww…” He said it. I can’t believe he fucking said it. God fucking dammit! I fucking hate this body! I would never behave like this normally! I feel like Fluttershy right now…

Vinyl Scratch took this time to give me a nudge. “Come on dude, get up. He’s just messing with you, that’s all.” She said. I peeked my face out and saw Vinyl’s magenta eyes staring back. With a bit more comfort, I managed to get up. “There, that’s better. Now come on, you’re leading the pack now. Where are we going?” She asked.

“First, we need to head back to your place. I left my bag there.” I said. Tyler took that as his cue and sat down in the driver’s seat. Taking the key and putting it in the ignition, he turned the key. The engine failed to start. “Something wrong up there?” I asked.

“Damn thing is out of juice. I figured it would be. It needs to be recharged.” Tyler answered back.

“Recharged? What does that mean?” Vinyl asked.

“Unlike normal human vehicles, which run on petroleum and gasoline that pollute the air, I found a pony willing to adapt the RV to run on unicorn magic.” Lyra clarified. She went to the passenger seat and opened a hatch just below the airbag. It had a small hole the perfect size for a unicorn to stick their horn into. Lyra’s horn lit up, and she plugged it in. After about 7 seconds, she pulled it out, looking quite exhausted. “Okay… Try it now…” She said, panting slightly. Tyler turned the key again, and the engine came to life. “There… Now I need a nap… The recharge process is magically exhausting…” She said, and flopped on the floor, missing the bed completely.

I poked her. She was fast asleep. “Damn… Couldn’t even make it to the bed, could ya?” While Starry took Lyra to the bed, I went up front. “So, does this thing have a GPS?” I asked.

Tyler nodded. “Yep, it’s right there.” He said, pointing to the lit up screen showing our location. “That reminds me… Could I get the address of where we’re going?” He asked.

“Sure thing.” Vinyl said, coming from behind and imputing the address. She went back and took a seat with Octavia. “Ready.” They both said.

“Okay, here we go.” He said, giving my back the page finally. I put in back in the mysterious hammer-space while Tyler put his foot on the gas pedal, slowly coming out of the giant shed and onto the street.

I had to lower the window next to me down to see whether or not Ocean Wave was still there. She was still there, but she was talking with Twilight. Upon closer inspection, she was also in tears. Why was she in tears? As they noticed the RV, Twilight turned her attention to me, and pointed at me, saying something I couldn’t hear. We passed by them, and I blew a raspberry at them. “See ya, sucker!” I yelled at them, raising the window as Ocean started crying my name.

“Sunshine, come back! Please resist!” I heard her yell. What was she talking about? Oh, I get it. Twilight convinced her I was brainwashed, didn’t she? Oh, that clever bitch… What a perfect excuse to carry on with Operation: Harmonize without suspicion. She’s just trying to save me with the powers of harmony, right? WRONG!

The trip to Vinyl’s house was uneventful. I noticed a lot, and I mean A LOT of stares from the ponies as we passed, but I didn’t care. The goal was in sight. The RV pulled up to Vinyl’s house and I got out. “I’ll be right back.” I said. I walked up to the front door and turned the handle. It opened, and I realized they accidentally left it unlocked. Either the crime rate is nonexistent or Vinyl’s gonna get a chewing out by Octavia. I looked in the living room, and unsurprisingly, the notebook was gone. Twilight must have come by to pick it up. I did notice my bag on the table. I looked in it, and found all the things I left in here cleaned and organized. There was a note in there too. I picked it up and read it.

Dear Sunshine,

I organized your bag. I realize we’ve gotten off on the wrong hoof, so I want to apologize for what I did last night. If you come quietly, I would be more than happy to get to know you and be your friend. You’ll be so happy here, or even in Equestria, that you won’t need to go back to your world, or remember who you are. If not, then I don’t know what’s going to happen. Princess Celestia has asked me to bring you into harmony, and finish Operation: Harmonizer under any conditions. This world will be a better place, and then yours can be too. I have already taken measures I do not like to get this far, but I believe this is for the good of this world. It is too chaotic. You are too chaotic. I can help you, if you’ll only give me the chance. We’ll be meeting again soon.

Sincerely yours,

Twilight Sparkle (and Spike)

I sighed. That’s all I could do. Twilight thinks she’s doing the right thing, but is conflicted about the journey to get there. I flipped the note over, took a pen in my wing, since I don’t trust my hoof or mouth, and began writing.

Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it.
-Greg Anderson

Think about it, okay?

Sunshine

I put the quote on the table where Twilight could see it once she returned. Grabbing my bag, I went out the door and back to the RV. “I got my stuff. Let’s go.” I said.

“Where to?” Tyler asked.

“We’ll start with Seattle. See if we can find some answers there. If not, it’s off to who knows where!” I said, ending it with a dramatic pose. I heard a suppressed giggle coming from Octavia. Okay, so she’s still alive. She’s been quiet for a while.

“Great. We can take the ferry there. Let’s go.” Tyler said, and the RV started moving again. I took a seat by Vinyl.

Vinyl put her foreleg around me. “So, is there anything you want to tell us about your life in your world?” She asked. Well… Since she asked…


Twilight knocked on a door. Despite it being made of clouds, like the rest of the home, the door gave a wooden sound. Twilight looked down behind her, and shivered, both out of fear and cold. Why did he have to put his house so high up? She wondered. She turned back around as she heard the door open, and a white and gray pegasus stallion stood there. “Oh, hi. My name is Twilight Sparkle, and I am here to talk to you about Sunshine.” She said, suppressing another shiver as a wind blew against her fur.

The pegasus stallion smiled. “Hi, I’m Snowstorm, and why do you want to talk about Sunshine?” He asked. Seeing how cold she was, he added. “Oh, please come in.” He stepped aside, and Twilight entered the house. It was warmer inside than outside, so Twilight stopped shivering.

“Thank you.” She said. “Sunshine is traveling right now. I don’t know where, but if her best friend were to go with her, I’d bet she would be much happier.”

Snowstorm gave a salute. “You can count on me. I’ll make sure she’s happy. She’s my best friend and she needs me. I’ll find her.” He said, and took off.

Twilight smiled. She had a plan to keep Sunshine in this world, and she would stay willingly. Twilight wouldn’t have to anything she would regret. Walking back to her balloon, she felt good. “I might as well see if Rainbow Dash is home before the spell wears off.” She said to herself, and took off to see her friend. Hopefully, before this is over, I’ll have made a new one, and we can forget about the red status.

Whatever Floats Your Boat.

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Caboose: I can't believe Church shot me...
Church: Oh, don't even start Caboose!
~Red vs. Blue

I stared my opponent down intently. She was just about to give up. I could feel it. I still had an ace up my metaphorical sleeve in case I needed it though. I winced, feeling a sudden pain from my lower area. I think it was my tail. Looking down, I noticed I had my tail pinched between my ass and the seat and pulling slightly. I shifted my sitting position slightly to free my tail, as I moved it around. It felt weird to just wag my tail like that. It felt good actually. I continued to swish it around. I think I caught myself smiling too. Who knew having a tail would be so fudging awesome? I heard a giggle from my sworn enemy, and turned to glare at her. “What’s so funny?” I asked with malice. “My tail is awesome. Just look at it.” I lifted my tail so she could see it.

She giggled again. “I had no idea you rolled that way. Too bad I don’t.” She said. Wait, what was she talking about? My look of anger melted into confusion.

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

“When a mare waves her tail like that, she is sending a visual message.” She explained.

“What kind of message? I thought it was a show of strong emotion, like cats and dogs when they wag their tails.”

“We ponies don’t wag our tails with those emotions because we have evolved beyond that. We can easily show our expressions through other body languages and facial expressions. The waving, wagging, and lifting of the tail is reserved for more… intimate expressions and emotions.” My supreme arch nemesis explained.

Oh. OH. OHHHHHHHH! Fuck no! Was I hitting on her? “Uh, you know what? Forget I ever did that.” I said with an awkward look along with a blush plastered on my face. This was really awkward.

The enemy waved her hoof at me. “Already forgotten. Now, we’ve tangented enough. Let’s finish this.” She said, and made her move. “Check.”

What? I looked at the board. Oh. Damn… Time to employ my ace. “Board flip!” I yelled out, flipping the board over Octavia’s head. “There, now it’s a draw.” I turned and got off on my hind legs, then I realized I was a four-legged creature instead of a two-legged one, so gravity played its cruel tricks on me. I fell over sideways, landing right on my right wing, pinching it in a very uncomfortable position. “Owowow fuck me sideways with a knife this hurts.” I said, getting up on all fours again.

I heard Octavia giggle again. “Did you forget you were a pony?” She asked mockingly.

“Yes Octavia, I realize I forgot I was a pony for a second. I’m still rather new to this.” I said, flexing my wing. It felt better now. “Is the ferry here yet?” I asked.

Confused? Yes, it is called a time jump. I simply jumped past the boring chess game. I also missed telling you about the trip to the ferry terminal. Can you believe the ponies kept the ferry system? Even better, they expanded. With all the small towns they added, they built ferry terminals for each one by the water. Most of them are simply passenger ferries, but a few, like the ones that we’re waiting for, are still meant for vehicles. Most of the vehicles here are large carriages filled with cargo. I noticed two other cars, occupied by humans. Must’ve been tourists from Seattle. That meant humans still lived in Seattle. Ugh, this situation is confusing me. Either way, aside from ponies taking over, everything seemed normal. It’s not easy to explain. Talk to Twilight about it. I’m sure she can explain it better than I can. Anyway, we arrived at the terminal just in time to see the ferry leave. That meant a very long wait, hence the chess game. Since it was over though, it was time for me to find something else to do.

“If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to check out those cars over there.” I said. I left the RV and walked up to one of the cars, a blue Smart car. Seriously, why the fuck is someone trying to fit a family in this little thing? Makes me wonder how the Reds and Blues would handle it. My guess is a lot of yelling.

I approached the car and the driver seemed to notice. He rolled down the window. “Yes, can I help you ma’am?” He asked. I ignored the ma’am part. I was gonna snap if I had to endure that for too long.

“Uh, yes… I just wanted to talk. Because you have a Smart car.” I tapped the side for effect.

“Yes, I have a Smart car. No, I don’t want to talk. Go away.” He raised his window back up.

I huffed in annoyance. Okay, so that guy was a bastard. Oh well, he probably has a stressful lifestyle, right? Ha, I call bullshit. He had a Call of Duty T-shirt on so he obviously has nothing to do today. I bet he is just taking the ferry just because he can. He must feel like a total badass. Of course, since he's driving a fucking Smart car, it's all for naught. Sucks to be him, I guess...

Walking away from the fuel-efficient vehicle, one of the ponies in a cart waved to get my attention. “Hey, you, the yellow mare. Come here for a second.” He called out to me. It must have been me. I didn't see any other yellow mares. There was an orange stallion, but that's not even close. In fact, fuck him and every other stallion for just being male.

I looked at the pony calling for me. He was a tan unicorn with a short yet well groomed mane. He had a tie on, which was interesting. The tie was red. Nothing wrong with that. Carefully approaching him, in case that tie had a knife, I gave him a smile and a wave. “Hi. What do you need me for?” I asked.

He gave me an examining look. “You seem like a pretty fit pegasus. Would you mind filling my water bottle up with rainwater?” He requested, holding out a large blue water bottle. “Please?” He added with a small smile.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at this pleading he is doing. On one hand-er, hoof, I could help him out, have a clear conscience, and good karma. On the other hoof, I could reject him, laugh in his face, or even take a big shit in his bottle. Now, while that would be hilarious, I'm not that kind of person to just shit in other people's bottles. So I took the bottle in my hoof and nodded. “Sure thing. I'll be right back.” I said. Flying into the air once again, I looked down at the ponies and scattered humans below me. The lot was getting quite full, but that shouldn’t be a problem. I flew up to the nearest cloud and began compressing it, shoving the moisture into the bottle. This was pretty awesome in my opinion. I mean, here I am, filling a water bottle with a cloud. I am truly living the dream. I took note of the condensation of the cloud. Okay, this was not going to work out. Oh, I just got an idea. I held the bottle in my mouth, twisting my neck so it stays upright. I took the cloud in both hooves, held it above my head, and wringed it like a towel. The water dropped right into the bottle, just as I planned. I let go of the cloud and took the bottle in my hoof again, capping it and flying back down. I searched for the stallion and landed beside him. He waved at me. How nice. “Alright whatsyourface, here’s your bottle.” I said, holding it out to him.

He took the bottle and placed it in his saddlebag. “Thanks Miss.” He said with a smile. I did my best to smile in return. Oh, how I hated the female terminology being used towards me. I had to endure though, for the sake of myself.

I looked over towards the terminal where the walkers waited to board the ferry and saw a light brown earth pony mare, staring right at me. She was waving at me. It felt a little weird. I decided to wave back. She looked away. Hmm, odd… Not really something to be worried about. I might see her on the ferry though. If she’s not a creeper, we could have a talk then. If she is a creeper, we could have a problem. Even so, I’ll never know unless I talk to her.

Turning away from the terminal, I went over the second human vehicle here. This one was a minivan. That possibly meant a family inside. The presence of an Elmo window shade confirmed that. Fuck Sesame Street up the ass with a Spork. That’s right, a Spork. Not a spoon, a Spork. I felt weird today. Must be the fact it’s my third day as a Pegasus mare. I hate my life sometimes.

The driver seemed to notice me and rolled down her window. She was blonde. I had no problem with that. “Yes, can I help you?” She asked. I heard the chatter of children in the back. I guess there were two young children and one older one.

I shook my head. “No, I’m just being nice and saying hi. Can I do that?” I inquired. It felt okay to just say hi. That wasn’t weird at all, right? No, of course not. This was completely normal, so I kept a friendly smile on my face.

“Yes, of course you can. It just is weird for me to be greeted by every pony I meet.”

“I understand. Sometimes ponies are just too friendly. We need to pound each other in the face sometimes.”

“I wouldn’t say that. It’s just sometimes ponies don’t know the meaning of privacy.”

“Yeah, I see where you’re going with that. It makes sense. I like my privacy sometimes. Well, see ya around, maybe.” I turned around and left the minivan behind. I would probably see them again on the ferry. I looked over at the water and saw the ferry was almost here. That was a relief. I guess it was time to head back to the RV. I looked over where I saw the brown mare. She was still there, looking at me again. She was pretty far away, but I could see a smile on her face. Well, I guess I should say hi. I could catch up with the others on the ferry anyway. I hovered over the crowd and started to fly – still the best method of transportation ever, by the way – towards her. I could see her smile and wave, so I returned the gesture.

Then, her facial expression changed from happiness to worry. When I saw that, I stopped and looked at her, confused. She pointed up behind me and I turned to see what she was pointing at. It was the brown Pegasus stallion from a few days ago that I saw sleeping with Ocean Wave. He was flying right towards me. He looked pretty mad, and was that rope in his mouth? Oh shisno on a stick. He must be trying to take me back home. Well I’m rather disinclined to go back now. Plus, knowing how Ocean thinks of me, he is beyond reason. I’m going to have to fight my way to the ferry now.

Too bad I suck at fighting.

He came right for me in a flying tackle, which I just barely avoided by dropping to the asphalt and landing flatly on my hind legs, wings flared for balance. I have no idea how to fight in this body, so I’m just winging it. Ha, get it? Oh, I’m so funny…

He dropped face first onto the ground and jumped back up. “Sunshine, I know you’re in there. Resist the chaos and come back home with us. If you won’t, I will have to drag you back myself.” He said. I gave him a blank look and shook my head. These ponies are stupid. Just plain stupid. “Very well then. I guess I’ll just have to make you come along. It’ll be tough having to drag you back home, but I’ll just have to manage.” He said, and jumped at me again. Wow, these ponies are REALLY stupid. I quickly dived to the right. I didn’t want to hit him but since I’m defending myself, I guess I can get away with it. As he missed me, I turned and gave him a swift kick in the side with a hind leg. I heard a grunt of pain from him as he fell over. Okay, quickly, while he is still down, I needed to get away.

I flared my wings and took off towards the RV. He might be less tempted to fight me when there are a bunch of friends backing me up. Then I noticed a certain lavender unicorn standing between me and the RV. Seriously, how does Twilight tail me so easily? Oh, that’s right, she has teleportation. Damn. Lucky bitch. Okay, looks like I’m gonna have to hold my own until the ferry starts letting everyone on. Then I can board the ferry without any more problems. I flew towards the terminal when I noticed that damn stallion get back up. I quickly laded and tried to hide among the crowd as I made a dash for the light brown mare that was still waiting for me. I paused once and looked back. The stallion seemed to be asking Twilight a question. I didn’t hear any of it, but Twilight shook her head and the stallion hung his head and slowly flew away. I can guess what that short conversation was though…

“Twilight, did you see where Sunshine went?”

“No, I did not.”

“Horseapples, what will I tell Ocean now?”

Yep, that’s about how I predict it went. Only one problem with that. I know Twilight saw me. So that means she lied to him. The question is why would she do that? I looked at Twilight. She looked right back and winked at me. Then her horn lit up and she vanished in a flash of purple light. I will never understand that unicorn. Ever. Either way, I am glad that conflict has passed. I turned back around and cantered up to the mare. She smiled as she saw me approach. “Hi there.” I greeted her.

“Hi. My name is Ceruline. What’s yours?” She asked. Okay, I got a greeting, a name, and a question. She didn’t blow up in my face, so I can assume she is not a creeper. Good.

“My name is Sunshine. Good to meet you. Why are you going to Seattle?” I gave a return question.

“I’m on vacation. I thought it would be good to see the sights of this wonderful world. What about you?”

“I’m just passing through. I’m on a road trip with some friends.”

“Oh really? Can I come? I’d love to see more of this world than what I can just walk to.”

I gave that a bit of thought. “The RV is already pretty crowded. I guess we could squeeze you in though.” I said.

I heard a squee from Ceruline and before I knew it, she had me wrapped up in a hug. I was stunned for a moment. Then she realized what she did and pulled herself away. We both had blushes on our faces after that. “Hehe… Sorry about that…” She said sheepishly.

I simply nodded and looked at the ferry. They were letting everyone on now. “I’m just gonna… just gonna get on the ferry now… You can come with me.” I managed to say, though it sounded half an octave higher than normal. I don’t know why she just hugged me like that. Either way, it happened, and that’s that. I walked onto the ferry, the brown mare behind me. At least I think she was. It’s hard for me to tell what is behind me.

Once I was on board, I flew up to the top deck and took a seat on a bench looking out at the water. In this time, I finally got a moment to appreciate the calm, sunny day. It was quite serene up here. No one was up here yet, so it was quiet, for the most part. It reminded me of whenever I used to take the ferry to Seattle. I would enjoy walking down the halls, sitting on a bench, or talking with strangers. There was this one guy I met a few times as I went to and from Seattle for a Mariners game. We had some good talks. The Mariners may have lost the game after a few extra innings, but I didn’t stay for those.

I looked up at the blue sky, which was dotted with white clouds that were no more than a wing’s flap away, thanks to magic. I am more of a science lover, but that is just me. Either way, staring at those balls of condensed water vapor was relaxing. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed some brown. I saw that Ceruline had found me and moved to my side quietly. That mare is a ninja, I swear. At least she hadn’t disturbed the peace. I felt the boat shift as it began to move. I have no idea what chaos will be waiting for us in Seattle, but I am content to sit here peacefully for the full hour.

Oh, if only it were that easy…

“Sunny! There you are!” I wouldn’t say Vinyl disturbed the peace for me, but she certainly knows how to make herself known when she wants. Her sudden shout definitely got my attention though as she cantered up to where Ceruline and I was. “We were wondering what happened to you. Lyra was worried you might have been left behind.” She said, worry evident in her voice, but relief in her posture. Ponies are so easy to read. Good to know she cared about me though.

I gave Vinyl a wave with a wing, just because I felt like it. “Nope. There is no way I could have been left behind. Wings, remember? I could have just flown onto the boat.” I told her.

“Oh, right. I forgot about that.” She chuckled sheepishly, but returned to her usual stance. Then her attention was caught by the quiet mare beside me. “So, uh, who’s this? A new friend of yours?” She asked.

I nodded. “Yeah. Her name is Ceruline.” I said. Vinyl waved at her and she waved back. Good. Vinyl works fast with making new friends.

I got up from the bench and walked over to the railing to watch the scenery pass by. I stood up on my hind legs and leaned against the railing. I noticed Vinyl do the same to my left. “You know… I’ve lived here for a few years now… I think five or six. Anyway, I didn’t take the ferry often. When I did though, it was always relaxing to just sit back and enjoy the ride.” I said. I had a calm tone in my voice. I felt it soothing to hear. I almost forgot it was my own feminine voice for a moment. Almost. My ear twitched in irritation as it registered the remembrance.

Vinyl gave a nod and a thoughtful hum. “Well, I won’t deny it is nice to relax sometimes. I like to kick back and relax with some light wubs after a big party.” She said.

I looked out at the water as we went on by. It was wet and salty. Enough said. Then I looked out at the land and watched the waterfront property roll on by, metaphorically. There were some nice houses. Most of them were two or three stories tall and had their own dock. Not many had a boat visible though. I then looked overhead. I saw a few seagulls flying over the ferry, along with a single purple Pegasus mare. Her mare and tail consisted of rainbows, mush like Rainbow Dash. The position of the stripes was horizontal instead of vertical though. I also saw her cutie mark, which was two rainbows between clouds. Interesting, a double rainbow… That reminded me that I didn’t see Ceruline’s cutie mark before. I looked back at the mare and shifted my eyes toward her flank. She had a golden compass as a cutie mark. So she’s a navigator then? I’ll have to ask her later.

I turned to Vinyl. “So, where are the others?” I asked. I hadn’t seen them, so I assumed they’re below deck.

“They’re on the floor below us. Well, everyone except Tavi. She’s still in the RV.” Vinyl replied. Okay, my assumption was obviously correct. Hooray, Captain Obvious strikes again!

“Well, that’s okay, I guess. I’m gonna rest up here for a few minutes. I’ll be down shortly. Why don’t you take Ceruline with you? Introduce her to the others. Show her the RV. I’ll be fine up here.” I said, and waved a hoof.

Vinyl nodded. “Alrighty then. Come on Ceru, let’s introduce you to the others.” She led the ninja mare down to the deck below and out of sight.

I took another look around. The only ones here were me and the rainbow mare above me. I trotted over to the other side of the ferry and leaned against the railing there, watching the scenery go by some more. I don’t know how much time had passed when I heard the sound of tapping right behind me. I turned and saw Twilight Sparkle there. She had a frown on her face. “Yes? What is it Sparkle?” I asked, rather impatiently, I might add. To be honest, I was getting tired of dealing with her.

“I… got your note.”

“And?”

“It made me think… When we first arrived in this world, I was fascinated with the new species of sapient creatures known as humans. I thought for sure we would live in harmony together. Humans were so advanced and able to do so much. I spent hours studying everything about human science and culture. Sure, you can’t control the weather, but you can shape the lands and build so much.”

“Yes, humans are a species of incredible potential. But let me take a guess… You found their stupid side.”

“If you want to call it that, I guess… I saw they were capable of so much creation. But then I found out they were capable of so much destruction. So much chaos.”

“I wouldn’t call it chaos as much as I would call it human stupidity and ignorance. Ponies have it too, but they have learned to look past it. Humans are too blind and stubborn to accept harmony. It is not chaos that drives them to fight and kill each other for resources.”

“Have they always been like this?”

“Not always. In the very beginning, humans were primitive, but they were still very resourceful. More importantly, they were in harmony. You ponies are similar to that. You have evolved beyond that of basic necessities, but don’t expect peace to last as long as technology grows.”

“I see… Thanks for sharing this. So, how are you adapting to being a pony?”

“I fucking love it. Much better than being a human. Though the whole gender thing is gonna break me.”

“That was kinda the point. But if you like it so much, why do you want to go back?”

“I have friends. My friends. TRUE friends, who are there for me. I earned those friends. They were not given to me like Snowstorm was.”

“But you’ve made friends here too. What about Vinyl and the others?”

“Twilight, once this is over, we will both learn a valuable lesson in friendship…”

“Maybe… But I have one more question.”

“What is it?”

“How do you know so much about us?”

I paused. She didn’t know about the show in my world? Maybe I could use that to my advantage. “I don’t really know… Was that your doing?”

“I might have given you a few memories of us to get you started. There is no harm in that, right?”

“I dunno. I can still remember my other life. But I just want to return to that life. Haven’t you ever had that feeling? The feeling of wanting something back?”

“Well, there was my Smarty Pants doll. After I lost it, I really wanted it back. But after I found out who her new owner was, I gave her up so they could both be happy.”

“Right, but this is a case where I’m not happy with giving up what I lost. I want it back.” I turned away from Twilight. The conversation was killing my good mood and I didn’t want her to see my face anymore. I could feel my eyes starting to tear up. I didn’t hear anything behind me, so I turned back and saw that she had teleported away. Seeing as I was alone, I let the tears flow freely as I collapsed on the floor. “I just wanna go home…”

I don’t know how long I lay there, sobbing. It must have been several minutes because I heard footsteps coming towards me. I looked and saw what I can only assume to be Tyler’s legs. “Why are you crying?” He asked. Not waiting for an answer, I felt his hands wrap around me and he lifted me up, cradling me like a child. “Come on, I know what will cheer you up.” He started to walk back with me in his arms, still sobbing. He took me down the stairs and to the rest of the group, who had taken a bunch of chairs and moved them around in a circle.

Tyler sat in a chair and laid me in his lap. I could feel the stares from the others. I didn’t look at them and instead looked up at Tyler. I realized something. He was a big man, and I was a very little pony. This did not make me feel better, so I just rested my head against him. He responded by stroking my back with his hand. It was rather soothing. It felt good to be petted like this. Before long, I felt the tears stop and a smile on my face. I didn’t want it to end.

From my side, I heard Starry’s voice. “Did you feel homesick? Don’t worry, you’ll be home before you know it. I’ll make sure of that.” She reassured me. I responded with a nod.

I continued to lay there for a few more minutes. Then, I heard my stomach rumble. It goes without saying that I was pretty hungry right about now. Tyler must have heard my stomach. “I’ll get you something from the vending machine.” He said. That was my cue to get off of his lap. I did so, albeit rather reluctantly. Tyler got up and walked towards the vending machine. I took this moment to steal the chair he was using. Ha, sucker. He came back with a bag of cookies in his hand. He chuckled when he say me. “Here you go.” He tossed the bag of cookies at me.

Vinyl caught it with her magic, opened the bag, and passed it to me. “Thanks, Vinyl.” I took the bag and started eating the cookies inside. I love cookies so much. Especially chocolate chip ones. They’re so good. When I was done with the cookies, Vinyl took the empty bag and threw it in the trash. “Thanks again, Vinyl.”

Lyra spoke up after a few seconds. “So what’s the plan for when we get to Seattle?” She asked.

“I guess the plan is to find a pony who knows where the portal to Equestria is.”

“Why would you want to go to Equestria?”

“Two reasons. First reason is just to say that I’ve been there. Second reason is to find a way home from there.”

“Oh. Okay…” Lyra went silent.

Seeing as no one else felt like talking anymore, I got up off the seat. “I’m gonna see how much farther we have to go.” I cantered over to the front of the ferry. I saw we were very close to Seattle now. I couldn’t envision it much longer than a few minutes until we arrive.

I looked to my left and saw the rainbow mare again. What I noticed now that I didn’t notice before were her eyes. One was blue and the other was red. Whoa, that was pretty cool. I smiled at her. She noticed me and smiled back. “Hi there.” She greeted me.

“Hi, my name is Sunshine.”

“That’s a nice name. Are you going to Seattle too?”

“No, just passing through. I’m hoping to gather some information about getting to Equestria.”

“You’re looking in the wrong place. You should go to Yakima for that.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. That’s where I arrived from Equestria.”

“I guess I better stock up on supplies then. I hate driving to Yakima. There is a great produce and antique store I visited once on the way. I don’t know if it’s still there. I hope so.”

“Well I wish you luck. Maybe we’ll see each other someday.”

“I’d like that. See ya.” I turned and walked back towards the group. They were laughing about something. I don’t know what. I never found out. Lyra noticed me approach and waved. I cantered over to them. “We’re really close. We should get back to the RV now.”

The others nodded and got up from their seats. We all walked down the stairs. Actually, I flew. I still can’t walk down stairs. Stairs are evil. EVIL I TELL YOU! When we got to the lower deck, there were ponies hitching themselves up to their carts. Tyler opened the RV for us and we filed in, one by one. I took a seat next to Ceruline. Octavia was already sitting across from us. Vinyl and Starry sat on the bed. Tyler sat in the driver’s seat while Lyra sat shotgun. It was somewhat peaceful. Everyone was in a good mood. As the ferry docked slowly, it was time for us to depart. Tyler put his foot on the gas pedal and the RV drove away from the ferry and onto the streets.

The Universe Hates Me.

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Donut: By himself? That guy is fucked.
Simmons: Totally.
Donut: That guy's gonna get totally fucked.
Simmons: Dammit Donut!
~Red vs. Blue (It’s always this now. Do I even need to say it anymore?)

The RV turned left onto the city streets of Seattle. They were busy as always, with cars and carts all over the place. People and ponies were walking all along the sidewalk. Pegasi were bypassing it all, as always. Flying was just the coolest thing ever. Tyler turned to me as we hit a red light. “Okay, which way should we go?” He asked.

I thought for a moment. I guess I’ll just wing it. “Turn right onto this street.” I directed, pointing towards the street sign. Tyler complied as the light went green and the RV drove on. “Now make a left here.” The RV drove up the hill rather slowly before making its turn. “There should be a mall on the right. That’s our stop.” Tyler noticed the mall and before long we were nice and settled in.

Octavia looked out the window at the mall. “Pardon me, but why are we here? What’s the purpose of coming to a mall?” She wondered. I couldn’t blame her. I didn’t really know why I wanted to come here. There was just a feeling in my gut.

I decided to lie though, so I wouldn’t worry Starry. I know she’ll be worried anyway. It’s another gut feeling. “I’ve been here before. I’m sure I’ll find some answers in there.” I said. Of course, I knew the answers lie in Yakima. I just wasn’t ready for such a long trip. It would take a good chunk of the day. So, in my head, I decided to stall until tomorrow. I know I should be more focused on trying to get home ASAP, but I was in Seattle with best pony and plenty of other friends. I was gonna enjoy this. I want to be able to look back and regret nothing.

Strapping on my saddlebag, I jumped out of the RV. Ceruline decided to hop out with me. I was fine with her coming along. I shut the door behind us and we started walking. However, a blue flash in front of my face made me stop and jump up in fright with a girly, high-pitched yelp. It was just Starry though. Geez, she didn’t need to teleport in my face. She could do it next to my face or – wait a minute… I yelped like a girl. Oh, I did not need this right now. I looked back at her. She had a smirk on her face. Well played Starry. Well played indeed. “I’m coming with you. We could find some answers faster if we searched the mall separately.” She said calmly.

Well, it was sound logic, despite the fact that I never did get along with logic. We always had our differences. I relented though, for now. “Sure. I don’t mind. We can split up and cover more ground.” I said, and continued walking to the mall. Starry followed me.

I wasn’t really amazed by the sight of the inside of the mall. The floors were white linoleum, so my hooves would make their usual loud clopping sound. Directly ahead was a set of stairs, which led to a second floor. There were shops, of course, ranging from human clothes to pony clothes. There were a lot of clothing shops. Too many for my liking. I felt my ear twitch in irritation. “I’m going upstairs. There is bound to be fewer clothing shops up there.” I said, my tone matching my ear and both matching my feeling about the clothes.

Now, don’t get me wrong here. I’m not the type of person who believes running around naked is free and all that shit. I like comfortable clothes. A nice t-shirt and sweatpants will make me happy. However, now that I am a Pegasus mare, cursed with some sort of beauty which I can’t even understand, I am expected by my new culture to wear either a dress or nothing. Suddenly, nudism seems like a very enticing opportunity, doesn’t it?

Starry seemed to understand my distaste and nodded. “Of course. We’ll look down here then.” She said. I watched her walk off before flapping my wings and hovering above the ground. The feeling of being airborne will never get old. It’s like controlling my own destiny. Well, somewhat. It’s a bit more freeing than just walking everywhere. It’s also a little disorienting to some who has spent his entire life grounded. Now that I’m able to fly anywhere, I feel free.

Flying up to the second floor, I looked up and saw a third floor. Eh, one at a time. There was only me, Ceruline, and Starry, so we were gonna take things slowly. I figured I should at least pretend to do something, so I landed and trotted over to the nearest store. It was a pony clothing store. Oh geez, not another one. I was about to turn around and see if I could find a GameStop when I noticed casual wear for mares. I was suddenly reminded of the blouses back at “my” house and realized the ponies must be adopting human fashion habits. I guess that’s a good thing. There might be some ponies against the idea though.

I went over to have a closer look. There were t-shirts for ponies. I almost squee’d right then and there. I could seriously enjoy wearing clothes again. Before I get too excited though, I need to check my budget. I peeked into my saddlebag and got out a coin sack. I’m not sure about how much these bits are worth compared to dollars, but there should be a price tag on the shirt. I put the sack back in my bag and began browsing. I found a nice looking white shirt and was about to check the price tag when I heard a voice behind me.

“No! Absolutely not!” I looked behind me to see a white unicorn with a curly purple mane and tail marching angrily towards me. I, taken aback by this display, stumbled backwards, ultimately ending with me tripping over my own tail. With a yelp of pain, I fell over backwards as Rarity approached me. “How dare you support this mockery of fashion! You will come with me so I can get you some proper attire.” She said. Her horn glowed and suddenly I felt myself being dragged away by my tail. I didn’t like that sort of feeling. I also knew what would happen if she caught me. I flapped my wings and struggled against her magic, but I just flopped on the ground in the end, and was dragged off with Rarity for a round of torture. “And while I’m at it, I’ll do something with that bedraggled coiffure of yours.” Yippee…

I don’t hate Rarity. No, not at all. I admire her spirit and generosity. She’s not exactly best pony, as that spot belongs to Vinyl, but she’s probably eight or nine on my top ten favorite pony list. However, I don’t want to be the subject of her clothing experiments. So, as she dragged me away across the hopefully clean linoleum floor to my fate, I tried to think of an escape plan. I couldn’t come up with one. She was a unicorn. A magical being that could thwart any attempt of escape, despite my best efforts. What was I against that? I was nothing. I was a measly little Pegasus mare against this magically adept unicorn. And don’t even say that she isn’t that powerful. I’ve seen the show. The magic she is capable of is crazy. In my opinion, there are three things that determine how good at magic a unicorn is.

The first is, of course, spell complexity. Spell complexity is basically the difficulty of a spell. Levitation is usually the first spell a unicorn learns, and is the simplest one. A complex spell would be the time-travel spell Star Swirl the Bearded made. Despite its complexity, Twilight managed to pull it off quite nicely. Another complex spell would be the shape shifting spell that Twilight also tried to learn. I don’t really think that bird ever returned to normal… Anyway, the most complex spell in Rarity’s arsenal that I can remember is her gem finding spell. Shame Twilight was able to copy it easily. Spell strength would also partially fall under this category.

The second is spell flexibility. This is how many spells a unicorn is able to learn and use. It usually revolves around their talent, since learning anything outside of it would take unneeded time and energy. Rarity’s talent revolves around gems, so her magic specialty would revolve around that as well. Her passion is clothing though, so she knows more magic around that topic. Twilight’s talent is magic itself, so she has a very wide flexibility in magic.

The last is magical stamina. This is basically how strongly a spell is performed and how long it can be maintained. Rarity exceeds in this category, as she is shown to be a great magical multi-tasker. Twilight is shown to be rather overpowered at this, especially during the Ursa Minor incident.

Now I’m wondering why I’m thinking about magic and why I’m comparing Rarity and Twilight’s power. I think the point I was trying to make was that Rarity is still a decent magic user. My mind tangented again. Damn, I could have used that time to think up an escape plan.

Rarity’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts. “Sunny, darling? Are you well? You haven’t said a word.” She said. I blinked and looked at my surroundings. Bright colors, mainly shades of purple, covered the room. The entrance was in front of me, with a small door on my right. On my left, there were a couple dresses hung up on a rack, one of which I recognized as Rarity’s Gala dress. Along the side of the room were mannequins-er, ponyquins, I guess? I dunno. There were various materials and fabrics on shelves and a large mirror as well. “You like my temporary workplace? It’s like a home away from home.”

Honestly… No, I didn’t like it. “It’s not quite what I’m into.” I answered. “So what are you gonna do with me?” I was worried for my insanity. I didn’t want to wear a dress. I would be humiliated. I really don’t want that.

Rarity smiled. That worried me more. “I’m simply going to make you something nice. You need it, since you apparently have no sense of fashion. Don’t worry, you’ll love it.” She said. Somehow, I doubt that. Rarity walked up to me with a measuring tape and began measuring every inch of my body. She paused at my flanks. “Oh, these are nice. You must have the stallions pounding at your door.” I know that was supposed to be a compliment, but I was rather offended. “I’m rather jealous of you darling.” Call me darling one more time. I dare you… Rarity moved away from me with the measuring tape, apparently done. “Okay now… What color and style would suit you best? Oh, I know. Wait right there, please. I know just what to do.” Rarity ran off through the door.

Finally, sweet freedom. I immediately made a dash for the entrance. Opening the door, I was greeted with the mall hallways again. I quickly trotted away from that place and made my way to the food court. There were many sights, sounds, and delicious smells here. I saw many people and ponies sitting at various tables all over the court. I noticed one in particular sitting near the edge of the food court, alone. I smiled as the noticed the black coat, red mane, and glasses. “Hi there Charcoal.” I said as I trotted over to her.

The black Pegasus looked over at me. “Sunshine? What are you doing here? She asked. She was drinking what looked like tea and eating a salad. I wasn’t a fan of either, but I digress.

I smiled at Charcoal. “Oh, I’m just making a quick stop here with my friends on our way to Yakima. I’m trying to find an open portal to Equestria.” I said.

She gave me a strange look. “Why would you want to go there?” She asked.

“I need to speak with Princess Celestia about a personal matter.”

“Oh, if you want to speak with the princess, she’s at the US Capital making negotiations for the next couple weeks.”

I felt my ears droop in disappointment. “Oh. That’s a bit of bad luck.” Looks like I have to go to Washington D.C. if I want to meet her. Even then, it’s unlikely I’ll get an audience with her. I then noticed something out of the corner of my eye. I focused my sight onto that which caught my attention and noticed all six of the main cast standing there, talking. Okay, now I was afraid. Keeping my eyes on them, I whispered to Charcoal. “Help me.”

Charcoal looked confused for a moment before noticing my face, which was probably one of fear, and the group of ponies that I was looking at with that expression. She looked around for a bit. “Oh, hide behind the table.” She said.

I quickly hid under her table, cowering like a foal. Wait, I meant baby. Not hearing the chatting of ponies getting closer, I assumed I was safe and breathed a sigh of sweet relief. Now I just had to wait here until Charcoal gave the signal that it was okay to come out from my cover. I glanced to the side. Charcoal was sitting at her table, looking around. I could only see her legs. I looked back towards the other ponies in the food court. One couple was giving me a strange look, but I didn’t care. I shifted my gaze around and my heart almost stopped. One large earth pony was stomping around the place. I recognized his tan coat and cutie mark anywhere.

Stud Muffin.

I held in a groan. I did not need this right now. I glanced at Charcoal and gave her a little poke with my wing. She looked down at me and I pointed at Stud Muffin. “Help me again.” I said quietly, giving her my best pleading look.

Charcoal turned around and looked at the pervy stallion. “Hmmm… This is quite a predicament. I can’t think of any way you can get out of this without getting spotted.” She said with a frown.

“Well please, hurry up and find a best case scenario before Stud Muffin sees me. I didn’t want to date him then and I don’t want to now.” I pleaded.

Charcoal turned back around and gasped. “They’re gone. The Elements are gone.”

Wait, what? I snuck a peek out from under the table and saw that that they were indeed gone. I smiled. “Yes!” I shouted in glee. Then I remembered that Stud Muffin was here. Shit. Maybe I can still get away.

“Well, if it isn’t my dear little ray of sunshine.” Fuuuuuuuuck… I turned around to find him coming closer. He had a look on his face that kinda reminded me of pedobear. I could tell he was determined to either win my affection or take me by force. Either way I was fucked. I needed a distraction so I could get away.

Luckily for me, Charcoal is a good friend and stood between me and Stud Muffin. “I’m sorry, but I can’t let you have your way with my friend. Back off.” She said sternly. I’m honestly glad she’s my friend. I wouldn’t want to be on her bad side. I’m a little intimidated by that look.

I could tell Mr. Buttsack wasn’t though. He just laughed and shoved Charcoal to the side. She fell over, but quickly recovered and tried to block him again. I could tell he was getting angry by his face. In one swift movement, Stud Muffin’s hoof collided with the side of her head. The black mare was sent tumbling off to the side and laid there.

I looked at her unconscious form. “Oh no, Charcoal!” I turned back and gave Stud Muffin a furious look. “How dare you hurt my friend!” I shouted at him. I raised my front hoof and gave him the strongest punch I could.

It did nothing though. He simply grabbed my hoof in the middle of the punch and pulled me in closer. I let out a yelp of surprise and I went from anger to worry. I felt his other hoof wrap around my waist, or whatever it’s called for a pony. I felt another blush come on and he took that as a signal to move his hoof down to my flank. Now I was just plain afraid of him. “Come on babe, let’s go somewhere a bit more private.” He said in a low, sultry voice.

I was terrified. This disgusting stallion wanted to have his way with me. I was a guy mentally though, so this would be even more mentally scarring than usual. I squirmed to try and get out of his grip. It was no use though. He was a lot stronger than I was. I felt his grip tighten and his hoof squeezed my flank. I let out a high-pitched squeak and my blush intensified. Nonono… This is SO wrong! There were others here too. All I had to do was scream and they would come running. I couldn’t do it though. I could not bring myself to scream. What is wrong with me?

I tried to pull away from him, but that only spurred him on. His muzzle lowered until it almost touched mine. My eyes widened in terror. I couldn’t move… He had me… I tried to move or speak but I couldn’t. Help! Somebody! Please!

“Hold on Sunny! I’m coming!”

Huh? Someone heard me?

Before I knew what would be the most scarring thing in my life happened to me, some sort of angel crashed into Stud Muffin’s side, sending us tumbling a bit. I felt myself come loose from his grip and I landed on my belly, sprawled out on the floor. I was a little dazed and shook my head to clear it somewhat. The full reality of my situation hit me then. I’m a mare. I’m feminine.

I’m weak.

I don’t know how long I laid there. I just knew I was there for a while, curled up into the smallest ball I could manage, trying to be as unnoticeable as possible. I had given up. I was a pathetic little mare in an unforgiving world. Mare. Mare. That word echoed in my head. Mare meant female. That’s what I was. The body. The voice. The emotions. All of them were supposed to belong to a female. Now they belonged to me. I was raised as a male. To be thrust into this suddenly is… just too much for me to handle. I can’t escape from it. Stud Muffin has taught me that. No matter where I go, my feminine body will come with me and make me suffer. I just wanted it to end. Please… I just wanna go home…

I felt something nudge my side softly a couple times, followed by a soft voice. “Sunny? Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” I peeked out of my little ball to find Snowstorm’s muzzle right in front of me, his expression was one of caring and concern. “I got here just in time, didn’t I? I’m glad.” He said. He nudged me again. “Come on Sunny. Get up. We should get going.”

I nodded weakly and stood up slowly. I couldn’t bring myself to speak. I didn’t want to hear my own voice anymore. No, it wasn’t even mine. It belonged to a strange mare I didn’t know whose body I was borrowing. I needed to get my body back and give the mare her own body back. How I was going to do so remained a problem though. After all, Celestia was all the way in D.C.

I heard a groaning from behind me and turned to see Charcoal getting up. She stood up slowly and looked at me, then Snowstorm, then back to me. “Well, I see you found a friend. Good job.” She said.

I looked back and smiled. “Thanks for saving me.” I said, cringing inwardly at the sound of my voice. I knew I at least thought I could bear it, but now I’m not sure anymore. It’s just a reminder of what just almost happened to me. I just have to be strong. Be brave. I’m on an adventure. It’ll be fun. Yeah.

Snowstorm smiled warmly. “It’s not a problem at all. We’re friends, right? Friends look out for each other.” He said. Then he leaned in closer and seemed to examine me. “You don’t look brainwashed.”

I blinked. What? Twilight had told him too? “No. I’m not.” I said blankly.

Snowstorm gave a nervous chuckle. “Hehe, then I guess I have nothing to worry about. So what brings you here?” He asked.

“Oh, just passing through. I’m on a road trip with some friends.” I replied.

“Cool. Can I come with you?”

I thought about it for a sec, then turned to Charcoal. “How about you? You seem to know a lot. How would you like to come?”

Charcoal looked at me and nodded. “Sure. I have no arrangements for a while. Should be fun.” She said.

“Great. Both of you, come on then.” I said, and trotted toward the stairs. The other two pegasi followed me. When I reached the stairs, I opened my wings and gently hovered down to the ground floor. I saw Starry Night and Ceruline waiting for me. “Did you two find anything out?” I asked.

I got a resounding head shake from both of them. “No one here knew anything. Though, I did see Twilight and her five friends leave the mall a few minutes ago.” Starry said.

“I saw them at the food court upstairs. They were looking for me. Either way, I got the information we need.” I said. I noticed Snowstorm and Charcoal come down the stairs, and waved them over to me. “Introductions. Starry, Ceruline, this is Snowstorm and Charcoal. They’re friends of mine.” I looked back at the newcomers. “Snowy, Charcoal, these are some new friends of mine: Starry Night and Ceruline.”

Snowstorm and Ceruline seemed to greet each other eagerly, bumping hooves. Starry and Charcoal were a bit less eager, studying each other with their eyes before nodding. I watched them. Ceruline turned to face me. “So, you said you knew where to go?” She asked.

I nodded. “Celestia is in Washington D.C. doing negotiations with the US. Most likely about land and Citizenship and all that political jazz I don’t care about. The point is that’s where we’ll find her.” I explained.

“So how exactly will we get into that meeting?” Starry asked.

“We’ll figure that little detail out later.” I turned around toward the entrance. “For now, we should get going.” I started to walk out the door. The others followed me. Going back out into the parking lot, we came to the RV and I knocked on the door. No answer. I knocked again. “Hey, it’s me! Open up!” I shouted.

I heard a faint scrambling noise and a few seconds later, Vinyl opened the door for us. Though, she didn’t look happy to see us. She looked desperate and worried. “Oh, thank Celestia you’re here.” She said.

I was confused. “Vinyl? Is something wrong?” I asked.

“Yes! Twilight came in and Knocked everyone out, then took them away.”

“Wait, what?”

“Yeah!”


“Vinyl, are you quite done yet?”

Vinyl looked over at Octavia. “What? What did I do this time?” She asked. She put down the black box she held in her hooves.

“I know what that is, Vinyl. I can’t believe you brought it with you.” Octavia’s voice was stern and expression was hard and one of displeasure.

Vinyl pouted. “I know it’s dangerous, but just think of what it could be used for. It could be used for all sorts of good.” Vinyl argued.

Lyra stepped in between them. “That’s enough, you two. The others should be back soon.” She said, then she climbed up onto a counter and looked out the window. “I see Twilight and her friends outside… What are they doing here?” She wondered.

Octavia joined her in looking out the window. “You think they’re following us Vinyl?” She asked, looking back to Vinyl. Vinyl had disappeared somewhere though. “Vinyl? This is no time for hide-and-seek Vinyl.” She said sternly. Octavia got off of the counter and looked around. “Oh Vinyl, would you stop being so stubborn and come out?”

There was suddenly a knock on the door. Lyra jumped down from the counter. “They’re here. Should I open the door?” She asked, looking over at Tyler. He shrugged and nodded. “Okay.” She opened the door.

Twilight stepped in. “Not a bad place.” She commented before turning to Lyra. “Now, I’m sorry, but this has to be done.”

Before Lyra could question what she meant, Twilight lit up her horn and hit Lyra with a spell. Lyra slumped over to the side. Tyler stood up, angry. “Hey, you can’t do that!” He said angrily. Twilight wasted no time in knocking him out too. Then Twilight looked at Octavia.

Octavia looked back, her look fearful. “Wh-why? Why would you do this?” She asked.

“Because it is part of the project. It is for everypony’s safety.”

“You mean Operation: Harmonize?”

Twilight nodded. “Yes, that human over there will be an excellent test subject.” She said, pointing at Tyler.

“Listen to yourself Twilight. Do you hear what you are saying? Do you know what you are doing?”

“I’m doing the right thing. I’m sure of that now.” Twilight’s horn lit up again. “I’m sorry, but everypony will benefit from my actions.”

As Twilight prepared the spell, Octavia gave her one last hard, stern, serious stare. “No it won’t.” She said. Twilight fired the spell and Octavia slumped over, unconscious.

As Applejack and Rainbow Dash helped carry the two unconscious ponies and one human away, Vinyl peeked out of her hiding place – the cupboard under the counter – and watched. ”What do I do now?”


“And then they all poofed away, leaving me here all alone. I locked the door and hid in the cupboard in case they came back. I’m just glad you three are safe.” Vinyl finished her story. Then she noticed the two other ponies. “Oh, I guess it’s five now. Well that’s good.”

She stepped aside to allow us to enter and we did so. The place was now rather empty since Twilight came in and took everyone away. Luckily I had a few other friends with me. However, I had another problem. “So, who knows how to drive?”

No one answered a yes, so I sighed in defeat. “Well, there goes that idea.” I looked among the group and thought about what to do. Even if one of us knew how to drive, it was still going to be a long trip. I had no ideas.

A knock on the door drew my attention. I backed up, thinking Twilight had come back. Starry opened the door with her magic and peeked outside. “No one is here. Must have been a prank. Oh, I found a scroll.” She levitated a scroll to me. “I’m guessing it’s for you.” She said.

I took the scroll in my mouth, sat by the table and unrolled it. Then I read it.

Dear Sunshine,

I am sad to hear that Twilight has taken your friends. Especially the human. I know it will be difficult to go on without someone to drive you there, so I’ve taken the liberty of having a human friend of mine drive you instead. Meet me at the Ferry terminal tonight at 9:00 PM and we can talk some more then outside of your dreams.

Sincerely,
Princess Luna

I smiled and maybe squeed. I don’t care. Luna has once again saved my ass by providing me with hope. I showed the letter to Starry, who smiled as well. “Well this is great news. It seems the Princess of the Night has taken a big interest in our endeavors.”

I nodded. “Indeed. Luck is in our favor. Let’s go and goof around until 9. Then we can go see Luna.” I said. The others smiled and nodded in agreement, except for Charcoal. “Charcoal, are you gonna stay and watch the RV?” I asked.

She nodded. “Yeah, I can stay here and wait. Go on and have fun.” She said, waving us off with a hoof.

I shrugged and turned away to the open door. “Well, let’s get going then.” I jumped down and waited for the others to follow me. Vinyl, Starry, Ceruline, and Snowstorm all followed me. It was time to goof off. Maybe I’ll visit Pike Place or that chocolate shop. Maybe even see the aquarium. We had plenty of time to kill before 9. Things were finally looking up.


Celestia sat in her throne room in Canterlot. The sun princess looked to her left at a shimmering blue portal that led to the human world and the US Capital. She knew she had to get back there soon. Her plans would fall back if she didn’t. The sound of the doors opening caught her attention and a tan unicorn guard trotted in, followed by her faithful student. The young unicorn looked tired, and Celestia couldn’t blame her. She had sent her on several errands recently. The poor mare deserved a break. She turned her attention to the guard first. “What do you have to report, Field Marshal Nimbi?” She asked.

The guard straightened his pose and saluted briefly, then started speaking. “Your Highness, the prisoners were cooperative and have given us the information you requested.” He said. Nimbi levitated a scroll over to Celestia, who unraveled it and skimmed through it. Rolling the scroll back up and setting it down beside her, she smiled and nodded at the guard. “If that is all, give the order to Harmonize the human.” She said.

Nimbi nodded and bowed. “As you wish.” He turned around and bumped into Twilight, who was standing silently behind him. “Sorry Ma’am. I didn’t see you there.” He said, then noticed he dropped something.

Celestia noticed too, and leaned forward. “What is that you have there?” She inquired. Taking it with her magic, she examined it. It was a small, somewhat aged picture. It looked to be a few years old, and a little worn. Celestia could tell there were traces of magic used to fix the picture. The picture itself was of a young light tan unicorn mare with bright green eyes standing next to Nimbi without his armor on. “Nimbi, who is this mare? Your special somepony?” She asked.

The guard shook his head. “She’s my sister. She’s in the human world now, on vacation. She wanted to see the sights.” He said, keeping his eyes on the picture. He frowned. “Uhh, Princess? I don’t mean any disrespect, but can I have my picture back?” He asked.

Celestia nodded and levitated the picture back to the guard. “Sorry. Sometimes my curiosity gets the better of me.” She said. “Anyway, if that’s the case, after you give the order, come back here. I’ve got a special assignment for you.”

Nimbi bowed and then left the room. Celestia then turned her attention to her exhausted-looking student. “And what about you, Twilight? Have you completed the potion?” She asked.

Twilight nodded and levitated five glass vials from her saddlebag. Each of the vials contained a different colored liquid. “Right here. Though I wouldn’t call them potions. Potions are usually ingested and have a temporary effect. These need to be injected and have a permanent effect. It’s actually quite fascinating how the serum is absorbed into every cell in the body. I ran a few tests on some mice and Fluttershy says they feel better than great. It’s amazing. Where did you find such an incredible recipe? Can I keep it?”

Celestia beamed with pride. “A very good job, my dear Twilight. Give them to Nimbi when he gets back then head to bed. You deserve a break for all your hard work.”

Twilight nodded and yawned. “Well, I guess I could use a break. But then I think about the human world and I start worrying.”

“Don’t worry Twilight. We’ll bring the new world into harmony with ours.”

“But there are so many humans. How?”

“I have my ways. Trust me.”

“Okay Princess, I trust you.”

The sound of hooves clopping on the floor drew their attention to the door, where Princess Luna walked in. She trotted up to Twilight. “Good evening Twilight Sparkle. How are you?” She asked.

Twilight answered with another yawn. “Tired. Oh, before I forget, I got you something.” She levitated a blue and pink gift box from her bag and gave it to Luna.

Luna accepted it happily and put it in her own bag. “Thank you. Now then, I already lowered the moon and now I have to see a friend in the human world. Bye.” She turned to the portal on the wall and left through it.

Celestia sighed. “She’s been spending too much time there. It worries me.” She said.

“Maybe she’s trying to figure out how to control their moon too.” Twilight suggested.

“Maybe. Twilight, why don’t you go and get some sleep? I’ll look after the serums.” Twilight complied and levitated he vials to Celestia, who put them in a saddlebag beside her throne. The lavender unicorn then turned and left the room. Celestia smiled to herself. Everything was going according to plan.

Rendezvous. Ooo, I Sound Fancy Now.

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GLaDOS: "Oh, hi. So, how are you holding up? BECAUSE I'M A POTATO."
~Portal 2 (I know, something NEW)


“I swear, if one more bitch starts yelling at me to buy some apples I’m going to rip that person’s throat out and feed their vocal cords to their children.” I said as we left Pike Place Market. Sure, shopping - or at least in my case, browsing - there was somewhat enjoyable, the crowds and annoying vendors made me wish I had a lot of duct tape. That way I could silence their dumb human faces. Either way, I was glad to be out of there and heading towards our destination. It was just another little walk to get to the ferry terminal now.

I glanced at the sky as we entered the terminal. It was dark, but due to the clouds and light pollution, the stars were not visible at all. I frowned and looked back at my group of friends. They were all ready to go. Seeing them all so eager and excited spurred me on. Finally we could get somewhere on this tomato-forsaken adventure. That reminded me, what time was it? Luna said to meet us at 9. I glanced at a clock on the wall and saw that it said 8:56. ‘Well four minutes isn’t that long to wait.’ I thought idly. I took the lead as we walked to the far end of the terminal when I noticed the place was deserted.

Vinyl noticed it too. “Hey what gives? Where is everyone? I thought these terminals were open longer.” She said.

“They are open longer. Pedestrian traffic inside the terminal is closed just for us, since Luna is here.” I heard Starry interject.

Sure enough, when we reached the end, I finally got to see Luna in the flesh. Just like in my dream, she stood rather tall, but she held a more regal appearance than before. Must be because she’s kinda in public. Either way, I guess it was good to see her again. She turned to us and smiled warmly. The ponies behind me bowed. I didn’t feel like it was necessary for me to bow, and Luna didn’t seem to mind. She smiled at us. “Rise, my little ponies. This isn’t a visit that needs to be dragged on, lest Celestia somehow hears of it. I’m here to introduce you to a friend I made a while back. He can help you on your journey.” She said. Luna stood aside and motioned to a chair in the back, where I noticed a small black figure sitting.

I took a step closer and he focused his bright blue insect-like eyes on me. I was a little surprised by this. “Is that… a changeling?” I inquired.

Luna gave a small grin. “Ah, so you do know what they are. Don’t worry, whatever false memories Twilight gave you about them-“

I cut her off. “False memories? No, I know what changelings are.” I noticed him turn his head and frown. “I also know that they are awesome.” I saw him perk back up happily.

Luna looked at me, confused. “You are well acquainted with changelings already? Then it should be easy to befriend this one. He was kicked out of his hive and spent the last year in the human world. He can transform into a human and also has a driver’s license.” She explained.

Ceru spoke up from behind. “So, uh, he’s a good changeling?” She asked.

The changeling let out an audible groan. “Yes, I’m a good Changeling. My name’s Rain. Rain Splash. Nice to meet you all.” I swear he winked at me. “Especially you, cutie.”

I frowned and blushed at the same time. “I’m not cute…” I mumbled.

Luna ignored that comment and addressed the group. “Well then, I trust you all with what to do. I must get back to Canterlot before Celestia suspects anything. We’ll meet again soon.” She said. Luna’s horn glowed and in a flash of light, she was gone. Teleporting looks fun. Too bad I’ll never get to learn how to do that, being a Pegasus and all.

With that out of the way, I turned back to Rain. He still had his happy smile on his face. I think I stared at him a few seconds longer than it would take for the moment to become awkward. “So… it’s good to meet you Rain. I’m sure we’ll be good friends.” I said, just a little awkwardly. I needed to make some sort of conversation happen.

From behind me, I heard a low growl. I turned around to see Snowy with an angry look on his face. He marched right past me and got in the poor changeling’s face. “I’ve got my eye on you Changeling.” He said in a low growl.

I frowned and pushed him aside. “Ignore him. He’s weird. Hell, he thought I was brainwashed earlier.” I reassured Rain.

He brightened up again. “Oh, before I forget, I got a gift for you from Luna.” He said pulling out a blue and pink gift box. He threw it to me and Starry caught it in her magic, then set it down in front of me. I gave her my thanks then looked at the box curiously.

Starry looked down at the box as well. “I feel a strange and unstable magic coming from in there. I don’t know what the Princess of the Night has bestowed upon you, but I’d be careful with it if I was you.” She warned.

I nodded and opened the box carefully. I wondered what could be inside. I didn’t know Luna that well, but maybe it was a magic talisman or something mystical.

Nope, it was a letter. I read it.

Dear Sunshine,

Operation: Harmonize is getting ahead of schedule. The next phase is underway. This involves giving the subjects injections to increase their magical output as well as give them new abilities and talents. I’ve studied these serums intently, since I was the one who helped make them. I made this one just for you to give you a fighting chance.

I don’t think Celestia’s intentions are pure anymore. I’m going to investigate into this matter further. I don’t think it’s safe to continue on your path to meet Celestia. Therefore, I recommend finding a different pony with knowledge on the portals. Though, I’m not sure where to begin. You’ll have to find out on your own.

Sincerely,

Twilight Sparkle

PS: When the serum starts taking effect, it’s going to hurt. A lot.

Serum? What serum? I moved the letter aside and found that it was hiding a syringe filled with a yellow fluid. The syringe had a sticker on it with my cutie mark on it. So this was the serum, huh? I didn’t trust Twilight on this one. Starry did say it was unstable. I decided to close the box back up for the time being. As for what the rest of letter said, it just disappointed me. How many changes to the plan will we have to go through? ‘At this rate, I’ll never get home. I need to think of something.

Vinyl approached me from behind and glanced at the box, then at me. “So what next Sunny? What did that letter say?” She asked.

I sighed and pushed the box towards Starry, who took it with her magic. “It said to find someone else who knows about the transdimensional portals. The problem is I don’t know anyone like that.”

Vinyl gave a grin. “I do.”

“What? Who?” Ok, I was surprised at this.

Starry groaned. “Oh, you do not mean her, do you? You can’t possibly think she’d help, right? You’re crazy.” She said.

Vinyl simply chuckled. “Oh she’ll help. I don’t see why she shouldn’t if you give her the incentive. Either way, who else besides yourself, the princesses, Twilight, and the scientists in Canterlot know anything about how to open the portals?” Starry didn’t respond. “I thought so.”

I had no idea who they were talking about, so I voiced it. “Okay, who the flying fuck are you talking about?” I asked.

They both looked at me. “You don’t know her, but she’s a unicorn with fairly advanced magical talent. They only problem is that she isn’t exactly… right in the head. If you say the right things, you can get her to do anything though.” Vinyl explained.

I mulled it over a bit in my head. ‘Well, I don’t see why not. We have no other leads.’ “Alright, where do we find her?” I asked. “More curiously, what is her name?”

Starry looked like she was thinking. “Honestly… I don’t know where to start looking. I know she is somewhere in this world, but I have no idea where.” She answered. Well, at least the first one. I still didn’t know her name.

Snowy groaned. “Great. Just great. This world is huge! How are we gonna find one measly unicorn?” He asked, exasperated.

Since no one had an idea, I decided to try and think. ‘How does one find someone in a world like this? Let’s see... Hang on a second. There is an easy way to find someone.’ “I got it!” I blurted out.

All eyes turned to me. “How?” They all asked, thankfully not all in sync. That would be fucking creepy.

I didn’t want to spoil the plan, so I pulled a card from Starry’s deck and decided to be vague about it. “You’ll see. We’re gonna need to find a Starbucks in the morning though. It’s essential.” I said, almost sounding like I knew what I was doing… Almost.

The others gave me a weird look. “If you say so… Let’s go back to the RV then. Charcoal is waiting for us.” Starry said.

I gave a chuckle at their reactions. “First rule when dealing with me. I have no sense of sanity. So expect weirdness constantly. Now then, let’s make like a potato and peel out of here.” I said, starting to walk back towards the entrance. I noticed Rain was the first to follow, with the others following soon after.

Let’s just say wandering the streets of Seattle at night is not as easy as the day. It gets harder to see the street signs in the dark.

On the way we decided to take turns sharing stories. Vinyl had an interesting tale about Octavia and Braeburn. Let’s just say that I now ship Octavia X Braeburn. OTP good sirs, OTP. Starry’s tale was boring as fudge. I toned out most of it. Snowy was telling a story about him and me going scuba diving. Poor fella. Imbued with false memories. In reality, I can’t even swim, much less scuba dive. Rain told a story about Chrysalis. So he was part of her hive? Wonder if he was part of the invasion of Canterlot. As for me, I told a story about a trip I took to Las Vegas. The others seemed quite interested. Ceru also told a story about her first day in the human world. It wasn’t much.

Eventually we found our way back to the RV and I knocked on the door. It took a few seconds, but Charcoal opened the door for us. “Wow. This place is awesome. You got quite a ride here. I’ll be happy to drive it.” I heard Rain say.

With a yawn, Vinyl plopped onto one of the beds. “Welp, I’m bushed. Too much walking today. G’night.” She said then only light snoring came from her. The only movements coming from her were the light rising and falling of her chest.

I heard Starry give a chuckle behind me. “Well, you better get some sleep as well. It’s been a long day.” She said. I looked back and saw her consulting a spellbook. Well, I had spent a lot of the day walking and flying. My legs were pretty tired at that point. With a shrug, I set my bag down and took the top bunk. Lying on the bed, the full brunt of my exhaustion hit me and I was out within minutes.


Celestia stepped onto the balcony just outside her bedroom. Looking out onto the city of Canterlot, and beyond towards her beautiful land of Equestria, currently covered by a dark, moonlit sky, she could see the many centuries she had put into bringing peace and harmony into her country. Now she had a chance to bring peace to a new world. One filled with chaos and violence for all of its time, never knowing true peace. The plan was perfect. Absolutely foolproof. Only one little bump lied in the way of her beautiful plan.

Sunshine.

Ironic that the one thing standing in her way was named after the very thing she commanded. It had been through pure luck that she hadn’t been taken back to Canterlot and successfully harmonized along with everyone else. She had recruited followers, with a renowned Canterlot musician being one of them, and that crazy roommate of hers still with the revolting Pegasus. Twilight said that she might have been making friends, but she replied at once that Sunshine would leave them to die to save herself if given the chance. It is only human nature after all.

Celestia grimaced at the memory of her last meeting with the American dignitaries. She had seen better manners from the Griffons, and they actually ate their prisoners during the Griffon-Equine War all those years ago. At least the humans complied with her requests the first time around, rather than waging war. Then again, it helped that their human minds were easy to manipulate to her will, having never been in contact with magic before. Things were moving along ahead of schedule. In about a week, she would meet with the UN and unleash the final step of the operation, and then nothing would stop her from harmonizing their world. All she had to do was at least keep Sunshine occupied until then. However, it would be much more efficient to stop the pestering mare ASAP.

The princess of the Sun turned around and went back inside to her room and levitated a scroll and quill in front of her. This would stop Sunshine in her tracks. Besides, the poor mare was waiting for this chance for a while now. It’s time she gave it to her. Celestia started writing.

“Dear Rainbow Dash…”


Twilight paced back and forth in her room anxiously. “Oh, where are they? What could the princess possibly want with them?” She wondered aloud.

A minute later, the door opened and Rarity walked in, followed by Spike and Rainbow Dash. “Darling, whatever are you doing up? You should be resting. Princess Celestia said so.” Rarity said with concern.

Twilight looked at the three with a bit of exasperation. “I know, but I can’t stop thinking about what Celestia has planned for the operation and why those serums are needed. What would ponies need with powers like these?”

Rarity’s look of concern grew to worry for her friend. “Twilight, I really do think you should take it easy. You take a rest. Go back to Ponyville or to the Royal Archives. A little light reading always calms my nerves on a quiet day. Rainbow and I have this covered. The princess has sent us to apprehend our little ruffian.” She said calmly.

This did nothing to help Twilight’s mood. In fact, it only seemed to worsen it. “Wait, she’s sending you?” Oh nononono! You’re in danger! I gotta do – wait… Reading. Yes, that’s it! I know what to do! Come on Spike. I’ll need your help.” Without hesitation, Twilight grabbed her bag and dashed out the door.

Spike looked in the direction that she went. “I better follow her and make sure she doesn’t hurt herself.” He said. As if on cue, a distant thud and a crash sounded from down the hall. “Now I gotta make sure she didn’t hurt herself too badly. Catch ya later guys. Girls. Whatever.” Spike then left the room and started jogging down the hall, leaving Rarity and Rainbow Dash alone.

When Spike got to the Archives, he found Twilight creating a large stack of books on a table. She looked at Spike as he entered. “Oh great, Spike. You’re here. Quick, help me find a copy of Advanced Weather Control for Pegasi. Then head to the Starswirl the Bearded wing and find the book on his theory of light manipulation.” She said.

Spike could only wonder what she needed these for, but nodded and saluted. “Your #1 assistant is here to help.” He quickly scampered off to find the books, leaving Twilight to continue reading.

Spike found the first book on the way to the Starswirl wing. When he got there, most of the books and scrolls he found were dusty, showing how few ponies ever came by. Spike realized he had not been by since he, Twilight, and Pinkie had come by looking for that time travel scroll. Strangely enough, when he found the book he was looking for, it was completely dust free, while the books neighboring it were not. ‘Hmm, did Twilight read this already, and then put it back?’ He shrugged and grabbed the book,taking them both back to Twilight.

Twilight immediately started reading them. Spike knew she was “in the zone” so to speak, and further talking to her was impossible. He stayed close by though, just in case she needed him again. It was pretty late though, so he let out a yawn and quickly fell asleep.


I slowly opened my eyes to see a pair of insect-like blue eyes staring back at me. I jogged my tired mind to remember why. We went to see Luna last night and she… right. She gave us her friend Rain Splash to help drive us. But at the moment, he was uncomfortably close. I scooted back a bit. “Hey… Good morning.” I said quietly.

The changeling smiled at me and raised his head a bit. “Morning, cutie.” He said in a chipper tone.

I felt myself blush again. “I’m not cute…” I grumbled under my breath. I stretched my now familiar feeling limbs. ‘How long has it been now? Four days? Is this my fourth? I’m losing track of time, as well as who I am. This body is starting to feel right. Like it really is my body. I really hope I can get some sense knocked into me.’ I rolled over a bit before the bed gave way to unforgiving airspace and I plummeted to the floor. “Owww…” ‘Well, I guess that counts as getting sense knocked into me. I’m awake, at least.

Rain looked down from the bed at me. “You okay?” He asked. Starry, Charcoal, and Ceru all looked down from where they were sleeping too, wondering the same thing.

I slowly got myself up on my hooves. “Yes, I’m fine. Just a little sore. Nothing unusual for me.” I reassured them. I looked out the window at the early morning streets of Seattle. “Alright, we should find a Starbucks, unless this RV has Wi-Fi.”

Starry looked confused for a second. “Well, actually I ran a few scans on the RV, and there is an internet access point here. It’s secure though. Why do you want it anyway?” She asked. Alright, I was joking when I said that. Seriously, Lyra has a really awesome ride if it has a Wi-Fi access point. But... WHY? You know what? Forget it. I'm done asking. I'll just chalk it up to fuck if I know. Spacey-wacey bullshit.

I smiled and got into my saddlebag, pulling out my laptop and setting it on the table. I turned it on and found Lyra’s Wi-Fi connection. It was secure, so I had to know the password. I took a guess. I typed in “Humanhands” and just like that, I was in. “Lyra can be so predictable sometimes.”

With the internet at my hooves, the possibilities were endless. However, I was a mare-er, man on a mission, and could not waste (too much) time playing around. “Alright, what is this pony’s name?” I asked.

Starry answered my question. “Blueberry Twist is her name. Sorry for not telling you earlier.” She said.

I shrugged it off. “No worries. I forget things a lot. I would have asked again by now anyway.” I sounded my best to be reassuring. I don’t think it was done very well. I typed in her name and searched it. The first result I found was a drunk looking blue unicorn mare fitting the same name. “I am guessing that is her.” Clicking on the result, I looked up her address. “Well, this is still going to be a long trip. She lives in California. That’ll be fun to drive through.”

Starry looked at the computer screen curiously. “Strange. I never used a computer before. Well, I used one once. It was confusing.” She said.

I chuckled. “Well computers are confusing to those who don’t use them much. It takes time to gain experience.” I replied. “So, we have a destination. That’s good. Let’s go!”
Vinyl gave a groan behind me. “It’s about time we have a set place to go to. We’ve changed places so much I’m getting confused as to where we are really supposed to go.” She said, exasperated.

I let out a sigh. “I know. Hopefully this will be it though. At least we haven’t gotten too far. Can we please get going now? I still hate this body and want to get my own body and home back.” I said.

Rain nodded and sat down on the driver’s seat. “Right! Ready when you are cutie!” He said, starting up the RV. The engine growled or something to life yada yada.

I felt my ears flatten in irritation. “I told you I’m not cute!”

Road Pizza is Worst Pizza

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The halls of Canterlot Castle were quiet during the early morning sunrise. Well, aside from one tired lavender unicorn cantering along them, books filling her saddlebags. Despite her somewhat messy mane and the fact that she was in the library all night, she still seemed full of energy, moving down the halls with purpose. It was one of the benefits of being Twilight: being able to read as much as mortally possible. And in all that reading, an idea formed in her head. It may not be the best idea, but it was all she had. And since when did Twilight’s plans go horribly wrong?

Approaching the throne room, she found her mentor just outside, talking with Rarity. “I’m only saying that maybe you could at least think about my request just a bit?” Twilight heard her ask.

Celestia gave Rarity a friendly look. “Well if you insist, I’ll see what I can do.” She answered.

Rarity gave a bow. “Thank you Princess. I’ll leave things to you then. Have a good day.” Then she turned and trotted down the hall back to her room. Celestia then turned to Twilight, noticing her presence.

Undistracted now, Twilight felt this was her best and only chance to tell Celestia her plan. “Princess Celestia, I’ve been thinking about your plan, and I think I may have an alternative.”

Celestia seemed to be intrigued by this. Or maybe she just smelled treason. Twilight hoped it was the first one. “Oh, what kind of alternative?” Okay, it was intrigue. Good. She hoped it would stay that way.

Twilight spilled the books out of her saddlebags and floated two in front of her. “Okay, remember my research on parallel dimensions, the same research that brought Sunshine into our operation? Well, I was doing some additional research last night and upon testing a couple theories and hypotheses, including more mana-efficient ways to open portals, I’ve found another Equestria!” She said, getting more excited the more she talked about her findings.

Celestia looked very intrigued. “Oh, so should we go and make contact with this new Equestria?...” She inquired thoughtfully.

Twilight shook her head. “It’s not safe for us to cross over into another Equestria. I have no idea what negative consequences could ensue.” The lavender mare interrupted. “But I’ve noticed you stressing out over trying to catch Sunshine. I’m just suggesting an alternative so she stays out of the conflict.” She finished, then looked to her mentor, hoping she would go for this idea.

Celestia seemed to see the flaw in Twilight’s logic. “But if what you said is true, what about her? Aren’t there negative consequences for that too?” The princess pressed.

Twilight shook her head. “Sunshine is an anomaly, even for this world. Besides, The consequences for most ponies is not as great as ponies like you. So, would this be a viable alternative to stressing out over bringing Sunshine here?” She asked again.

Celestia thought for a moment, then sighed. “It’s true… That mare has been causing me grief. So much that I can’t even focus on the operation we should be doing. Everything has gone out of my control. Twilight… Go to Rainbow Dash, join her in her ambush position and when the chance comes, instead of capturing her, send her to the parallel Equestria.” She instructed. “Maybe then we can finally go back to showing humans true harmony.”


Bored.

Bored bored bored.

Boredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredbored so fucking BORED!

You know that feeling you get when you go on a road trip, and all you see is miles of empty roads with absolutely fuck-all to see except passing cars, the people in the car with you being either boring or confusing, and the stuff you brought with you to alleviate the boredom only being half-assed at doing so? Yeah, that’s my fucking life right now. The others seem perfectly fine though.

Rain and Vinyl had hit it off quite well. Apparently Rain was a big fan of her work. I must say, while first impressions were… interesting, the changeling is pretty cool. He’s also apparently a fan of Halo like Vinyl and myself. The two have spent the last 20 minutes discussing the many ways Master Chief looks good in a tutu. Honestly, they all sound really fucking disturbing to me. Except the genderbent Master Chief. Then again, that one sent a cold chill down my spine when I remembered my own similar situation. I moved away quickly after that.

Snowstorm seemed pretty tired, and fell asleep on one of the beds after we left Seattle. He has been mumbling things in his sleep, and I swore I heard him say “mmm, dat flank.” I really hope he was not dreaming about me. Then again, I don’t think my stunt at the mall the other day allows me to think otherwise. Moving on.

Starry basically enveloped herself in a book. I tried asking what it was about, and she gave me a lecture on something that I couldn’t follow one bit of. So I moved on and left her to her very confusing book.

Charcoal has been mostly quiet the trip so far. She just keeps staring out the window, occasionally commenting on a building or car we pass by. I’m glad she’s here. Charcoal has proven herself a good friend. Better than Snowstorm at least, my so-called “best friend.” Pfft. I swear all the brainwashing that’s happened to the guy has torn away at his personality.

And then there is Ceru. I dunno what to say about her. She’s been kind and polite to me since we met. She told me about her brother, who is in the Royal Guard. I would think that is pretty cool, then I reminded myself of another certain pony with a brother in the Royal Guard. Yeah, we can see where this might end up.

As for what I’ve tried to do to entertain myself, I don’t have much. Just the laptop, and without a stable internet connection, I can’t do shit with it. And this RV does not have such a connection. So I’m left to find idle conversation with the others, or find my own little distractions. And we already know how the idle conversations went.

So… yeah, an hour into our road trip to California and I’m fucking bored out of my mind. So I’ve basically taken to doing the same thing Charcoal is doing, and just looking out at everything we’re passing by. I remember taking this route often with Grandma... Well, at least as often as I go to and from her house. So there wasn’t much to see that I hadn’t seen plenty of times before. Maybe a couple new pony-based places, and some interesting chariot designs, but that’s about it.

After maybe a half hour or so, Rain called back to us. “Anyone getting hungry? There is a place we can stop and get something for lunch. I’ve really been wondering what pizza is like.”

I looked back at Rain and smiled. “Pizza? I love pizza. Pizza is great. You’ll love pizza.” I found myself rambling and shut myself up before I started ranting about the joys of pizza. Seriously, pizza is the best thing ever.

The others voiced their okays and the RV turned off the freeway and towards a small pizza restaurant called “Pinkie’s Pizza Party Palace.” Oh great, Pinkie has a Chuck E Cheese’s ripoff. Oh well. The food better be good.

Pulling into the parking lot, the six of us (we left Snowstorm behind because leftovers. What? The RV has a microwave.) exited the vehicle and trotted right up to the doors. I had my saddlebags on, as usual. When I got in there, I had a few choice questions for that pink partyhead. First off, how did she come to acquire a place like this? Second, whyyyyyyyyy? Before actually going in though, Starry looked through the window. “Hmm, I see Pinkie Pie in there.” She commented.

I moved next to her and looked through as well. “Where? Oh, in the ball pit.” Seriously? I know it’s Pinkie Pie, but that ball pit is way too big. The rest of the interior would not be out of place in a Chuck E Cheese’s. Arcade here, party tables there, no creepy animatronics though, thank Pinkie. Instead, there was a ping pong table. “Hold on…” Looking closer… yep, that is indeed Twilight Sparkle in there. And she is playing table tennis with Rainbow Dash. Oh, this I gotta get a closer look at.

We opened the front doors and walked inside to the front counter, where a cheerful light green mare with a white mane waited for us. “Welcome. How can I help you today?” She asked. I gave a glance at the interior of the place, now that we were inside. Thankfully the interior was bright and colorful, and NOT all pink. Positively pink my ass.

Rain stepped forward, disguised as a blue unicorn stallion. “We’re just here for pizza. It did say that in the name of this place, there was going to be pizza, right? I’ve never had pizza, and I wanted to try it.” He said.

“Well you can try our Pizza Party Platter. Two large pizzas and fifty tokens for thirty-four bits.” The mare suggested. I took a look at her name tag, it said “Salad Dressing.” Well, she definitely looked the part. With that light above me as my witness, I will never understand pony names.

I leaned toward Starry and whispered. “Thirty-four? Is that a lot?” I asked. I will also never understand the Equestrian currency. It kinda seemed like a lot, then again, remembering from the show it seemed like the bit was very unstable, with inconsistent inflation values and-oh what the fuck am I talking about? The economy of pastel colored ponies? I must be bored out of my mind to be thinking about this shit. What’s next? Politics? Nopenopenopenope so much nope.

Starry looked at me and shook her head. “For this kind of deal, no, it isn’t a lot.” She answered. Then she stepped forward to join Rain. “That sounds lovely. We’ll take it.” She pulled out her bit purse and paid up front, giving Rain a “you owe me for this” look.

Salad Dressing gave Starry the tokens a number tag with the number 63 on it. I gave a silent “fuck my life” as we took our seats. I glanced at Pinkie, who was looking at us and waving happily. I gave a small wave back, as did Vinyl and Charcoal. Though, Vinyl’s wave was the more enthusiastic of us. Twilight and Rainbow were both still enveloped in their game, and it looked like Rainbow was obviously winning. “You know what? I’m here. I might as well have fun before those two over there finish their game and ruin our day.” I said, grabbing a few tokens and going to the few arcade machines. I saw a few skee-ball games lined up and decided to play that.

I had the token in the slot when I saw something pink next to me. Looking at the newly arrived Pinkie Pie, I gave a nervous smile. “Hey Pinkie. Been a while.” I said as the balls came rolling down.

Pinkie looked back and gave one of her big happy Pinkie smiles. “Hiya. Just so you know, Dashie and Twi are scheming against you.” She said cheerfully.

I almost didn’t know how to react. Not because what she said was surprising, but because she said it at all. “And you are telling me this why? You know what, I don’t wanna know. How about we just have a little friendly contest here? Best score buys next game.” I offered, pointing at the Skee-ball machines.

Pinkie immediately got her game face on. “Oh, you’re on!” We both picked up a ball and started rolling them down the aisle. I wasn’t particularly good at this game, but neither was Pinkie. I got a 2, she got a 4. I got a 3, she got a 1. I got a 5, she got a 6. A few more balls down the lane decided it. My score was 29, her score was 31. Yep, I lost. Not by much, but I still lost.

I let out a sigh. “Well, good game Pinkie.” I held out a hoof to her, which she bumped happily. “You know… I don’t get you. Your friends are plotting something against me, and yet you are here, playing arcade games with me. Why?” I asked.

Pinkie’s smile never left her. I swear she stapled it on like that. “Because, silly filly, just because we’re supposed to be enemies doesn’t mean we can’t be friends too. I just hope that whatever the others decide, you know that we’re not bad ponies, and that some of us want to be friends.”

That was honestly kinda touching. “Thanks, Pinkie. It means a lot. So, what are those two planning to do?” I wondered, flicking my tail at Twilight and Rainbow.

“Oh. Dashie is gonna hold you down while Twilight is gonna banish you.”

Wat.

No, seriously. Wat.

“Yeah, right into another world. Just think, you’ll be able to make more friends and go on a completely new quest!” Pinkie’s enthusiasm scared me.

“Um, Pinkie… What do you mean by ‘banish’ exactly?” I asked carefully. I feared the answer.

“Twilight told me to give you a letter. Check my mane.” Um… Okay. I reached into Pinkie’s mane and pulled a scroll from her mane hammerspace. Or Pinkiespace… “She also told me to tell you that she’s sending you to an alternate Equestria. Who knows what it’s filled with? Maybe instead of ponies, they’re all dragons! Or even walruseseseseseses!” Pinkie seemed too excited about this. She was bouncing up and down, probably imagining all sorts of weird things. Even though I really should be scared out of my mind, Pinkie just amuses me. Damn you Pinkie, damn you.

I put the scroll in my bag and nodded to the pink menace. “Thanks for the warning. Now I need pizza.” I stated simply, then turned away and trotted back to the others, who just received their pizza. Taking a seat, Starry floated me a slice.

You know that thing they say about how animals have more sensitive noses than humans? Well that sensitive nose really pays off when it comes to pizza. As soon as I took the pizza in my strangely magical hoof, I caught it’s scent. It was like that time a couple days ago at Cinnabon all over again. My nose was blessed with the smells of a thousand angels. Of course, my stomach won out over my nose and I heartily devoured the pizza.

When that slice was done, I was about to ask for a second, when I spotted Rainbow and Twilight approaching. “Well… This is it…” I sighed and got up from my seat. If what Pinkie said was true, then once again Twilight is on Celestia’s side. “So… You honestly think you’re doing the right thing then?” I asked, walking right up to the unicorn’s face.

Twilight smiled sheepishly. “Well, you see, I, uh-”

“Of course she is! Twilight would never steer us the wrong way! Well except for all those other times, but I still-” Rainbow interrupted.

“Shut up Skittles. I was talking to Twilight.” I snapped back. Looking at Twilight again, I continued. “Banishing me to some unknown land when you know you could just send me home like I wanted to this whole time. You know I don’t want to stop Celestia’s plans. Come on… Just let me go home...” I felt tears welling up and I looked away, wiping my eyes with a foreleg. Damn these still sorta new hormones mixed with my own emotional side.

Twilight sighed. “Look, I wish I could explain, but… just read the letter Pinkie gave you when you get there. It’ll explain my actions.” She said.

“Hey, before you send me to whoknowswhere, can I do something first?” I requested. Before either of them could give an answer though, I spun around, gave Skittles a kick in the face and yelled “TAG, you’re it!”

You ever get that feeling you’ve just done something monumentally stupid, and that you’re about to pay for it dearly? Yeah, I feel like I’ve shook a really big hornet’s nest. Oh well, no time to dwell on that. I took off behind the counter and heard Pinkie scream. “Dashie’s it everypony! Ruuuun!” Then I heard the clopping of hooves as they scurried away from Skittles, who was momentarily stunned by my kick. They couldn’t leave though, or at least didn’t want to, which left the “it” pony looking around to find me. I used this distraction to slip into the kitchen unnoticed.

I was startled by one of the cooks behind me. “Hey, you can’t be in here!” He said firmly.

I jumped up and turned around. “Um, right sorry. I was just looking to borrow, um…” I looked around and spotted the best weapon in existence. “This.” I said, picking up a frying pan.

Just in time too, because Rainbow poked her head in and immediately spotted me. “There you are!” Well shit.

Rainbowbutt dashed towards me, most likely with the intent of paying me back tenfold for that kick. I don’t have a high pain threshold though, so I did the first thing my reflexes could think of. Smack her upside the head with the frying pan. It made a clang sound as she got knocked off course and into a crate of party hats. Why that was in the kitchen I’ll never know. Oh, right. Pinkie.

I dropped the pan and got out of the kitchen, stopping when I saw Twilight and Starry butting magical shields. Unfortunately, it looked like Twilight was winning. Starry’s gifted, but not that gifted. The others were behind Starry, unsure of how to act. I guess they were not really itching to fight someone like Twilight. Of course, if someone doesn’t do something, I’m gonna end up back at square one. No friends, no goal, no way to get home.

My thoughts were interrupted by the blue menace tackling me from behind. Dammit, I forgot about her. So we rolled around for a bit, with her trying to pin me down and me using what little strength I had to defend myself. And rolling around while doing this was not pleasant in the least. We eventually rolled into the ball pit where I felt Rainbow’s weight lift off me… and gets replaced by dozens-no, hundreds of colorful plastic balls, filling my vision and surrounding me as I flailed, trying to right myself back up. I probably looked pretty pathetic.

I continued flailing in the pit of round, colorful doom for a few seconds until I felt myself being lifted out. I turned and looked once my head had breached the surface to see Starry’s horn glowing. So she was the one that lifted me out. Good. Then I saw Twilight make a big purple dome around herself, me, and Rainbow. Dammit, looks like rescue is no longer an option. Once the dome was formed, Starry’s magic hold was broken and I flopped onto the ground.

Well, here I was, backed against the wall, so to speak. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. Twilight looked like she was preparing to open the portal, Rainbow looked ready to stop me if I even so much as flicked my tail in the wrong direction. Memories of yesterday’s talk with Octavia came back and I blanched just thinking about those kinds of actions.

Twilight noticed this and gave me a confused look. “What is it? Something wrong?” She asked. I don’t care if she’s concerned or not. SHE’S what’s wrong right now.

I shook my head anyway. Best to stay calm. “Besides the blatantly obvious, I was just remembering something very unpleasant. Continue.” I answered. Rainbow didn’t lower her guard. I didn’t expect her too. I did beat her over the head with a frying pan after all.

Twilight started opening the portal behind me and I heard a loud “Wait!” Come from the ball pit. We all turned to see Pinkie Pie pop her head out of the balls. “Was the pizza at least good?” She asked, obviously at me and my friends.

I nodded. “Delicious. A fitting last meal.” I answered. I noticed the others nod as well. Though I also noticed they still looked angry. Except for Ceru, who had a slightly different look? Sadness? Determination? Huh…

Pinkie seemed pleased with her answer and dived back into the ball pit. Twilight continued the process of opening the portal. I had to think of something. Anything. But I couldn’t. I lowered my head and sighed. “Twilight, do you at least know where you’re throwing me?” I asked. I could hear the despair in my own voice. Damn, at least show some fight gurl.

I mentally slapped myself for calling myself a gurl. That was just plain moronic. The last thing I need is another mental battle with my body.

Twilight shook her head. “Could be anywhere. Manehatten, Canterlot, Ponyville. Even Appleoosa or Cloudsdale. Sorry I can’t give you a defined location. The portal is ready. Rainbow, if you would…” She trailed off, not wanting to finish that sentence or even look me in the eye anymore.

Rainbow looked ready to push me into the portal when I heard a few resounding “No!”s coming from my friends. It was my friends, who finally rallied together and started pounding on Twilight’s shield. They weren’t getting through though. Then something caught my eye. It was Ceru. Her hooves appeared to glow. The others backed away a bit in confusion. I almost did too, until I realized what is behind me.

“Is that magical buildup?” I heard Starry ask. “How is an earth pony able to do this?”

Ceru pounded on the shield again. It started to crack. Twilight quickly mended it. “Because,” another pound, more cracks, “I’m not an earth pony.” The glow got brighter as she poured more mana into her hooves and she pounded on the shield once again, making even bigger cracks. “Come on, help me out!”

Starry shook her confusion off and used her own magic to assist Ceru. Then the others resumed as well. Twilight appeared to have trouble keeping the shield up and portal open at the same time. One of them would have to give soon.

It’s a shame it was not the one I was hoping for.

With one last group pound, headed by Ceru, the shield shattered. Twilight fell over, the battering of the shield taking its toll on her mana. Ceru jumped over her, heading towards Rainbow. Rainbow was faster however. She reared up and gave me a kick to the broadside, sending me staggering into the portal. The last thing I heard before I blacked out was Ceru yelling my name. “No! Sunshine!”


As Sunny was sent into the portal, Ceru tackled Rainbow Dash to the ground. “How could you? What did that mare ever do to deserve this?” She demanded angrily.

Charcoal pulled Ceru off of Rainbow. “Calm down Ceruline. We can get her back. Remember where we were going? Blueberry can get her back.” She said calmly.

Starry stepped forward. “Right, but Sunshine won’t last long alone. Can I ask you two to go in after her? Look after her while we continue onwards? Perhaps you can find a way back on your own?” The look on her face was calm, but her tone was desperate and authoritative.

The two mares nodded. Seeing Twilight still had the portal open and was looking right at them, they knew this is what she wanted too. “In times like these, we can always turn to our friends for help. And she needs friendship now more than ever.”

“Sunny better come back. I never even got to throw her a party yet.” Pinkie’s voice came from the ball pit, “and a walrus Pinkie Pie Party doesn’t count. It must be a Pinkie Pie Pinkie Pie Party.”

Rainbow Dash had nothing additional to add, she didn’t even make eye contact with them as Ceruline and Charcoal walked around her and to the portal. “Well, we’ll see you all again later. Good luck.” Charcoal said as she and Ceru jumped through. Twilight closed the portal afterwards, exhausted from all the mana usage.

Starry turned the remaining three. “Well, I think it’s time we set off. We have a lot of ground to cover.”

Vinyl and Rain nodded. “But first, can we finish our pizza?”

At Least I'm Still Alive.

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Owwww…

So this is what it’s like to have the wind knocked out of you…

I can barely breathe, my side hurts like hell, and I think the trip through the portal numbed the rest of me. Or maybe I’m just only half passed out, because my brain is awake, but my body doesn’t want to respond. Let’s just say the feeling is… odd, to say the least. There was a term for this I learned in school… What was it...? Oh, that’s right. Sleep paralysis. Though, doesn’t sleep paralysis make it so you can’t feel a thing? I obviously feel like I got the wind knocked out of me. I’m damn lucky Skittles didn’t break anything. So if I can feel that, why can’t I feel anything else?

I dunno how long I laid there, on who knows what. I couldn’t see. I couldn’t hear. Even the pain numbed and I could no longer feel. It could have been a few minutes. It could have been a few hours. I’ve lost track of time. It gave me time to think though. About my situation. About my body. About my friends. I wonder how they’re doing. Are they planning a rescue? Are they continuing the quest? I dunno. I’m all alone wherever I am, so I have to make the most of it. All alone in this pathetic mare’s body.

Mare.

That fucking word keeps echoing in my head. The fact that I’m a fucking chick. Every time I think I’m okay with my situation, being a mare, I get that illusion shattered by something. Usually that fucking pervert Stud Muffin. If I never see him again I will be a very happy pone.

But really, aside from the gender swap, this body is actually marginally better than my old one. A little tougher, I can fucking fly, and I’m adorable as a kitten.

...I have been spending way too much time in this body. Why the fuck did I think that? By the Great Petunia, I will find a way back home before I lose myself to this body.

I was done thinking and had started mentally humming the song Pika Girl when I heard voices and felt my ear twitch. Wait a second… I HEARD voices? I FELT my ear twitch. HOLY SHIT! It’s a fucking miracle! I tried opening my eyes. Nope, still nothing. I guess it was just my ears so far.

“Hey, who’s that pony?” One voice said. Female. I recognized it as Sweetie Belle’s. Oh great, did the Cutie Mark Crusaders find me? Guess I better watch my mouth. If I could ACTUALLY FUCKING OPEN IT!

“Ah dunno. Never seen her before. Is she asleep?” Another voice, this time Apple Bloom’s, said. Just one more.

“Of course not! Who just sleeps in the middle of nowhere?” And there is Scootaloo.

“Well Rainbow Dash likes to sleep in the middle of nowhere.” Sweetie Belle commented.

“Pssh, she sleeps on clouds. In the sky. Duh.” Scootaloo defended.

“Same difference. Anyway, should we wake her?” Apple Bloom asked her friends.

There was a pause. I’m guess they nodded and tried to wake me, but I couldn’t feel their bodies touching mine. Then the pain in my side came back. Dammit! Don’t fucking kick there! OW! Fuck!

“She’s not waking up. She looks like she’s in pain.” Sweetie Belle said worriedly. WELL NO FUCKING SHIT SHERLOCK! Of course I’m in pain!

“Should we take her with us?” Apple Bloom asked.

“No. Let’s take her back to the clubhouse. It’s closer.” Scootaloo answered. “Put her in the wagon. I’ll take her to the clubhouse. We’ll have to skip Twilight Time today.” Twilight Time? What the fuck is that? Is Twilight the ruler of this world and she devotes a time each day to praising her? If so, fuck me. Up the ass. With a FUCKING SPOON.

I dunno when I was lifted onto Scootaloo’s wagon, or when I was brought to their clubhouse, but when I slowly started getting the feeling back in my body, I could feel a blanket over me. I tried opening my eyes again, and I got fucking blinded by the light I could finally see. Fucking finally. I got my senses back. My eyes scanned the room, and I could see Scootaloo with her back turned to me. I could also hear someone coming in from outside.

I quickly shut my eyes again to feign sleeping as I heard the door open. “Oh, Twilight, you’re here. We just found this mare lying in the middle of the field. We couldn’t wake her up. Oh, and she was wearing this bag. I haven’t opened it yet.” Scootaloo explained. Oh great, the ruler of Twilightland was here. Fucking fantastic.

“Well that was very responsible of you. And even more so to come right to me. Good job.” I heard Twilight say. Uuuuuugggggghhhhhhh, get this bitch away from me please. Right now Twilight is WORST pony. Followed by Skittles and that fucking asshat Stud Muffin.

“Thanks Twilight!” The three said cheerfully at once. That kind of synchronization creeps me out. At least they didn’t get into my stuff? What did I have in my bag? There were a few bits… I think I borrowed a book from the RV... I didn’t put the phone or laptop in there… The note from Pinkie was in there…

Oh shit! The note from Pinkie! If someone else reads that… I haven’t even fucking read it! Fucking buttsacks on ice. I better get up before they get into my shit.

I took it slow. I slowly opened my eyes, let out a groan, and worked my stiff muscles. I did not go unnoticed. “Oh, she’s waking up!” I heard Twilight say.

I stood up, fully opened my eyes, and winced in pain as my side once again started hurting like hellfire. Maybe something did break after all. Or Rainbow is just really good at inflicting pain. I held a foreleg to my side and sat down. “Owww…” Looking over, I saw Twilight and the Cutie Mark Crusaders staring at me. Though, there was something off about Twil-SHE HAS FUCKING WINGS!?

“Are you okay? You look hurt.” Twilight said, stepping closer. I almost didn’t hear her. I was too preoccupied with the two additional limbs on her back.

I did respond though. “I-it’s not that bad… Just took a nasty blow to the side. Some jerk gave me a good kicking.” I replied. “It won’t hurt for much longer, I hope.” I hope.

Twilight stepped closer. “Well I have a little healing spell that should fix that pain in your side. Here, let me help.” Her horn lit up and I saw my side start to glow purple.

Um, no. Since when has a magical shortcut ever worked? I jumped back. “No thank you Twilight. I’m quite resilient enough to let it fix itself.” I say that as I wince in pain once again. Eh, it’ll go away eventually. But I refuse to let Ms. Magical Backfire touch me.

For some reason, I noticed her jump back a bit as well, a shocked look on her face. “That’s… very odd. I felt a tinge of residual magic on you. Felt… familiar…” Oh great, she’s getting suspicious. “I’ve never seen you around before. What brings you to Ponyville?”

I shrugged. “Oh, I just kinda... fell in." I mentally booed myself for that joke. "Don’t really know what to do next. Hopefully find my friends.” It was the truth. Not the whole truth, but the truth.

“Well… We can’t leave you here. And you’re gonna need rest if you want that pain in your side to heal up.” Oh no, I can see where this is going. I’m not staying with Twilight and that’s final. “So you can stay with me for a day or two. Just until you’re better.”

How about no? Yeah, I’ll go with no. “Thanks for the offer Twilight, but I’ll pass. I’d rather not be a burden. I’ll walk it off.” I insisted. Nope, not falling under cliche fanfic trope #WhoGivesAFuck.

Twilight frowned. “You wouldn’t be a burden. I have more than enough space and-how do you know my name?” She asked.

“I overheard it when I was brought here. I wasn’t passed out. I was merely suffering from a strange case of sleep paralysis.” I answered. Once again, totes truthfully.

“Oh. Well what do you mean by strange?” She pressed further.

“I mean, I don’t know why I had it in the first place, or even where I was and what I was doing there.” That might make her suspicious though, but it’s the only answer I can provide.

“Odd… I don’t usually hear about situations like this. Maybe it was problem with teleportation?” She suggested.

“Let’s go with that. I’m not trusting that unicorn to send me anywhere again. Now I’m separated from my friends and I’d really like to find them again.” I stated, starting to stand up again. A spike in pain sent me back into a sitting position. I groaned in frustration.

“Well that settles it. If you won’t accept magical treatment, you’re coming with me to rest.” Dammit, I don’t wanna go with her. It’s too clicheeeeeeee. I felt her magic lifting me up to put me on her back. “And thank you three for finding her.” She said to the CMC.

“You’re welcome Twilight.” The three little rugrats said at once. Stilllllll fucking creepy.

Twilight also levitated my bag, which is good. It wasn’t forgotten. So I just laid there like a pathetic wreck on Twilight’s back. Not my idea of a good time, let me tell you. Oh well, it gives me time to come up with a plan.

As Twilight walked out of the clubhouse, she looked back at me. “You doing okay back there?” She asked politely.

I sarcastically gave a reply. “Oh, great. Never friggin better.”

Sarcasm was apparently not lost on the mare. “Well I’m only trying to help. What’s your name anyway? Sorry I didn’t ask before.”

“Sunshine. Can I go now?”

Twilight chuckled. “Oh come on. It won’t be that bad. I think you’re gonna love my friends. And it’s just for a day or two.” She insisted.

“And the last few days have been quite long for me. Trust me, I don’t think we share the same views.” I snapped back.

“What bugs me though is the residual magic I felt on you. It felt very familiar, like my own, but a bit different. Where are you from?” Oh fucking wonderful. She’s suspicious.

Well, I had to come up with something. Should I just let the truth out? It would make things a bit easier on me. Or it could get me in a lot of trouble. I sighed. I’m not good at making up believable stories on the fly. “I’m from-”

“Heeeeey Twiliiiiiight!” Oh thank the pizza lords above. Pinkie’s here. “I saw you walking and then I saw the pony on your back and-ohmygosh I just remembered! You gotta come with me and see Dashie’s new tricks! Comeoncomeoncomeoooooonnnnnn!” She started tugging on one of Twilight’s hooves.

Twilight looked back at me. “I told you, I’m resilient. I’m good at walking off pain. Just go with her. I’ll be fine on my own.” I insisted. Again.

Twilight sighed. “Fiiine… But I’ll come looking for you after this. Oh, and here’s your bag back.” She said, setting me and my bag down. I slowly stood up and strapped the bag to its rightful position. Never taking this fucker off again. Except when I sleep.

Ignoring the pain in my side, I watched Pinkie lead Twilight down the road. I turned and noticed what looked like a fast food restaurant. Hmm… I did just eat… but it was only one slice. I might as well try true Equestrian food. Or as true as you can get with a burger joint. Well, it’s not true hamburgers. Probably hay or something.

Walking inside, I noticed several ponies sitting at tables, and one standing in line. The one in line was a simple white pegasus with a black mane and tail, though the her eyes and the front of her mane were a striking red color. And she had a pinecone cutie mark. Odd.

I stood in line behind her as she ordered, then she moved to the side for me to order. The cashier was wearing a silly looking uniform. Good thing I don’t work here. This uniform seriously clashes with my colors. “Welcome to Hayburger, home of the Hayburger. Can I take your order?” He asked for my order.

I looked up at the menu and “hmm”ed softly. “I guess I’ll take a number two, plain.” I ordered. I was never one for condiments.

The cashier nodded. “Okay, that’ll be ten bits please.” I nodded back and took ten bits from my bag and put them on the counter. “Alright Miss, your order number is 63. Please wait a few minutes while we prepare it.” Fucking hell, again? Even this world hates me.

I stood beside the mare, and she looked at me. I awkwardly looked back. “Um, hi… I, uh… like your mane…” I said, probably sounding like an awkward antisocial person who has gone out for the first time in 2 years… That didn’t mean anything, I just threw that out there as a crazy comparison. I swear.

She smiled. “Thanks. I like your mane too. It’s cute, in a sort of tomcoltish way.” She said back. Well, that’s the first time someone actually called me a tomcolt. I’ll fucking take it.

I smiled back. “Thanks. I try to pull off the tomcolt look, but the universe conspires against me.” I said, feeling more confident talking now the ice has been theoretically broken. “I’m Sunshine, by the by… the by. Sunny for short.”

The mare giggled. I dunno why. “Sunshine, eh? Doesn’t sound that tomcoltish to me.” Yeah, tell me about it. I blame Twilight. “My name is Starstreak. Star for short.”

Star’s order came first, then mine. I decided to sit with her. If I’m going to be here for even a little while, might as well make a friend or two. “So… I’m kinda new here. Anything interesting you can tell me?” I asked. Hopefully I could get some sort of news, or even gossip. I needed something to work off of.

Star shrugged. “I can’t say that much has happened really, ever since the whole Tirek fiasco. I will say this though. Twilight and the Mayor have been having disagreements over her new castle. The Mayor eventually stepped down and let the whole thing slide though.” Well that was a decent enough explana-

“Wait, what castle? And who’s Tirek?” I probably sounded extremely stupid for asking, but at this point, who gives a fuck? NOT ME!

Star gave me a confused look. “Were you living under a rock or did you bump your head? Ya know, the evil centaur that nearly drained Equestria dry of magic a while back? And how did you miss that big crystal castle just outside Ponyville? Look, you can see it from here.” She said, pointing out the window. I turned and saw the top of a big crystal castle… HOW THE FUCK DID I NOT SEE THAT SOONER!?

“...Huh… Like I said, I’m pretty new here. Like, really new.” I said. I think I said too much, but I might as well admit to her the truth. Then I remembered something. “Oh, right. Food.” I chuckled and started eating. Honestly, I didn’t expect the food to be as good as it was. Oh well, it was delightful. Hooray for pony taste buds!

Star continued giving me a confused look. “Where are you from then? Another world?” She asked, probably joking, but it’s nonetheless true.

I nodded. “Pretty much. A whole other dimension actually.” I looked up at her. She just stared at me. “Um… Did I say something weird?” Of course I did. I just said I was from another fucking world!

The look she gave me was odd and confused. I swear she was about to call me insane or something, even though I already kinda am insane. Then, all of a sudden, she jumped up and got really close to my face. “Wooooow! Really? What’s it like? Is it like our Equestria, or is it a land of Walruseseses?” She asked excitedly. Well at least I'm not the only nutjob around here.

I politely booped her nose, pushing her muzzle away from mine lightly. “You know… You and Pinkie would get along nicely… But no, this world is very different to the one I come from. Though it’s a welcome change to not be running for my life anymore.” Hmm, perhaps Twilight was onto something.

Oh right, the note! I’ve yet to read it. I got into my bag again and pulled out the note. I began to read it.

Dear Sunshine,

I know I’ve been hard on you these past couple days, but I want you to believe me when I say I’ve done everything in my power to spare you. Sending you to wherever you are now was an act of mercy. I wish I could have just sent you home, but something seems to be keeping me from doing so. Wait a few days, then find a way back. I’ll be waiting with more news. Show the note to the Twilight in that world. She’ll help you. If there isn't a Twilight in that world, my next best guess is to find her equivalent, such as a strong unicorn or somepony like that. Good luck.

Sorry for doing this,
Twilight Sparkle

I sighed. Well that answers things, just not in a way I’d hoped. I looked at Star, still sitting across from me, eating, but at the same time, giving me a worried look. “Is something wrong?” She asked.

I rolled the note back up and put it in my bag. “Not… well, yeah. Nothing has gone my way. First, I get dragged away from home and stuffed into this body, then I have to run for my life, now I’m trapped here. The physical changes I’ve gone through were bad enough, but I think I’m starting to slip mentally too. I’m honestly scared right now. Scared that I won’t be able to get back home before I lose myself to this stupid feminine form.” I opened my eyes, not realizing I closed them, or that I started crying again. “Dammit… I’m sorry you had to see me like this…” I wiped the tears from my eyes and looked up to see Star giving me a warm smile.

“It’ll be okay Sunny. I’ll help in any way I can. Things’ll get better, you’ll see.” She sounded sincere. I couldn’t believe it. She supported me and believed me? Just like that? Are all ponies just so trusting? No, this was not the time to doubt friendship.

I felt fresh tears start flowing and wiped them away. “Thanks… It means a lot to have someone to turn to.” I dunno why, but I felt like hugging her. I’m gonna chalk that one to the feminine part of me. Maybe she’s bi… Blah, why am I thinking about this? Bad thoughts! Go away!

The rest of the meal went smoothly. I basically filled Star in on my adventures so far and she listened, occasionally asking a question about what or where something is. My favorite question was “What is a pizza?” to which my answer was “Best thing in existence.” She seemed eager to try it. Maybe I’ll find the ingredients to make some for her.

I left the Hayburger with a full belly and a reasonably better mood. Star left with me. “So… want to come see my place? If you have nowhere else to stay, you can bed with me.” She offered. “I-I mean, sleep with me-gah, I mean sleep at my house. Like, on the couch or… something like that.” She added hastily, her cheeks as red as her eyes.

I gave a very amused chuckle at her offer. “Sounds good. I’d much rather spend the night with you than Twilight.” I answered, which seemed to calm the mare down and cheer her up. “Speaking of which…” I added, noticing the purple pony princess coming back this way.

Twilight walked right up to me. “So, is your side still bothering you? And who is this?” She asked, motioning to Starstreak.

“This is a friend I made while in that Hayburger place. I’ll be staying with her. But we’re not done yet. I’m gonna need to check the library later.” I said.

Twilight looked saddened at the mention of the library. “The library was destroyed some time ago.”

“Oh, um… I’m sorry to hear that… So… You got any books in that castle of yours?” I asked carefully. Didn’t want to upset her further.

She seemed to shake off the sadness and nodded. “Yeah, follow me.” She started walking towards the big castle. Star and I followed closely behind. As we got closer to the castle I started to take in its full… well, it’d be stupid to say glory. It’s a major eyesore. Looks kinda like a tree though. A weird, crystal-y eyesore-ish tree… “So, what kinda book are you interested in looking for?” I heard Twilight ask me.

I diverted my attention from the castle back to it’s owner. “Well… How do I put this? Theories on dimensional travel.”

Twilight stopped dead in her tracks. “Dimensional travel? But…” I could almost see the gears in her head turning. “Are you…? No… But that would explain… Was that my own magic I felt? It couldn’t have been.” Okay, now I think I see smoke coming out. You’re thinking about it too hard Sparkle. “But what if…”

Her thoughts were halted as I took the note and threw it in her face. “Read it.” I said simply. Twilight took the note and read it, quietly mumbling as she did so. About halfway through, her eyes widened and her jaw dropped. I swear some of those gears exploded. “So… does that answer your question?” I deadpanned.

Twilight took a deep breath to try and calm herself before she answered. “Yes… I think that explains it… just fine.” She floated the note back to me. “So… I don’t think I have any books on that subject. However, I have something I think you might like. Come on.” She once again started walking, with my new friend and I following.

Once we reached the inside of the castle, I felt a sense of magical castle being bigger on the inside. I don’t know what could have sparked that. Perhaps it’s the GIANT FUCKING HALLWAY with windows that I’m pretty sure don’t even show anything outside. Taking a look through one of the windows, all I could see was white. Yep, these windows are bullshit. I turned to Twilight. “You know these windows don’t work, right?” I asked.

She seemed to pause. “Really? I never noticed. I haven’t had this place for very long. It just kinda appeared.”

Um, what? “Appeared? Like how? I don’t get it.”

So I was then given a ten minute lecture on her recent adventures. Something about keys and a box, and the box gave her and her friends some sort of power. Rainbows must have been involved. Rainbows are always involved. She brought up this Tirek fucker again. Some fucktard centaur planning global domination. Like that always works out. So apparently the box magically gave her the castle.

So, at the end of it, I was given a very unneeded lecture that probably just gave her ego a little boost. “You know, all that could have been summed up with ‘it’s magic, bitch. Deal with it.’” I deadpanned.

Twilight gave me a deadpan back. “Was the swear really necessary?”

I smiled and nodded. “Yep. I held it in around the fillies and I’ll hold it in around any other younglings, but all I see around me are grown mares.” Let the lesbian orgy commence! I would have been brutally beaten if I said that last bit out loud. Let’s keep it a closet fantasy for now.

I chuckled as Twilight groaned and rolled her eyes. “Fine, just hold it in around my friends too. Especially Spike and Fluttershy.” She warned.

I shrugged and hovered over her head. “Whatever you say, Princess Naggyplot.” I said, giving her nose a boop and chuckling as she scrunches it in frustration. Starstreak gave a giggle as well.

Continuing to follow Twilight, we reached a room that reminded me of the Round Table. Just… without the table. Six thrones sat around nothing in a circle, each with one of Twilight’s friends cutie marks, as well as twilight herself. There was also a smaller throne next to Twilight’s throne, most likely for Spike.

I hovered above the circle of thrones and sat on Rainbow’s, looking to Twilight. “So what do you have to show me? Is this it? Because it’s cool, but not what I’m looking for.”

The alicorn shook her head. “No, it’s down this way.” She moved on into another hall, where once again we followed. Another walk ensued, and we found some stairs. My old nemesis. We meet again. Of course I still had my wings, so I beat the stairs. There weren’t that many stairs, so it was a small victory. But it is still a victory nonetheless, so I took pride in it.

At the bottom of the stairs was a smaller room that contained a mirror hooked up to a rather large and very contrived-looking contraption. It just kinda left me baffled at why this is here and what purpose it serves… unless… “Is that a portal generator?”

Twilight smiled at my deduction. “Close, but not quite, though you’re clever for figuring that much out. The mirror here is a portal to another world, but it only opens every… 30 moons, I think? Somewhere around there. I have it written down somewhere around here. Anyway, using this, I’m able to jump start the portal to activate when I want to.” She explained, then went into another ten minute lecture on the complicated arcane sciences involved with it, in which at the end of it I swear I heard a slightly altered version of the Pythagorean Theorem. What I find more surprising though is the fact that I actually noticed that. Holy shit they do teach you things in school.

Star’s head was reeling and her gears were in overload by the end of the lecture, but since I didn’t try overthinking it and only payed attention to the important bits, I managed to piece some of the lecture together. Apparently she has a phone book which is connected to an identical book in the other world, and she uses that to establish a connection. But since the mirror leads to that world anyway, I don’t suppose it can be used for free travel. “So you can only make a portal to that one dimension… What if you could make a new portal generator?”

Twilight seemed to think it over. “It could work, if you got something I could get a signal to the other world to as well as a portal exit coordinates so it doesn’t end up in a random location.” she said. Hmm, I could see a problem there. I’d hate to end up in Australia, or Gaben forbid, North Korea. It would be a pain in the ass to get home then.

“I dunno about that, but I have quite a few things from the other dimension you could probably use. My bag, the note, a book, or the phone I got.” I replied. I dunno if it was possible to get a connection back with these items, but if anyone could do it, Twilight could.

She gave it some more thought. “I suppose I could try and make one over the course of the next few days. The note said you had time to find a way back, so I don’t think there is any rush. Yeah, I think we can do this. No problem.” That was good news. So I wasn’t stuck here and Twilight’s instincts were right. Not Princess Sparklebutt over here, the other Twilight, working for Führer Sunbutt.

I smiled. Things were looking okay for once. “Great. So I’ll leave that to the expert then. I’d like to see this home of your’s, Star.” I said, turning to my new friend, who nodded. With that said and done, we left Twilight’s castle of eyesores behind, possibly until tomorrow.


After Ceru and Charcoal went through the portal, they expected to find Sunny within minutes, if not hours. Sadly for them, they weren’t so lucky. They were luckier than Sunny in that they weren’t paralyzed upon exit, but for some reason they were sent far from where Sunny was: all the way to Canterlot. So they spent an hour looking around the nearby streets and buildings in case she did end up there, but they figured searching around a city the size of Canterlot was a lost cause if they didn’t have a lead.

“It’s hopeless. Canterlot is just too big to find her.” Ceru complained, shuffling her hoof on the cobblestone.

Charcoal shook her head. “It’s not hopeless. We just need to rethink our strategy. Let’s find somewhere to take a break. You know anywhere we could stop and rest?” She asked.

Ceru nodded. “I used to visit this donut shop nearby. We can break there.” She led Charcoal down a couple streets until found a shop run by a Donut Joe.

Entering the place, they took a seat at a table as Donut Joe approached them. “Good afternoon ladies. What can I get ya?” He asked politely.

Ceru and Charcoal looked at each other, then back at Joe. “A glazed donut for both of us please.” Charcoal requested. Joe nodded and gave them both their donut. Charcoal paid for the donuts and Joe left them to talk.

Ceru picked up the donut and nibbled on it, feeling a little better. “So, what’s the plan from here?” She asked.

Charcoal nudged her glasses up a bit. “I say we continue looking around, ask some locals, and if we still can’t find her, find a cheap place to stay for the night.” She suggested.

Ceru nodded. “Sounds like a plan.” She continued nibbling on the donut.

“I do have a spare room you can rent for the night.” Donut Joe intervened from across the counter. “Sorry for listening in. It’s been slow today, and you’re the only ones here right now. So what was that about finding somepony?” He inquired.

“We’re looking for a friend.” Charcoal answered. “We think she is in Canterlot. Yellow pegasus. Sun cutie mark. Sound familiar?”

Joe shook his head. “Can’t say I do, ma’am.”

The black pegasus mare sighed. “Okay, thanks anyway. And we might take that offer of yours.”

“Okay. I close at 10. Come by just before then.” Joe said, then went back to whatever he was doing.

“Say… what if Sunny isn’t in Canterlot at all? What if she ended up somewhere else?” Ceru wondered.

“And what if she didn't?” Charcoal countered. “We can’t be sure until we know for sure. But if we don’t find her by the end of tomorrow, we’ll try looking for her in Ponyville next. That’s the next best location.” She looked at Ceru, who had just finished eating her donut. “This has been on my mind for a while. Ever since we got here, in fact. Before you broke Twilight’s shield, you said you weren’t an earth pony. What are you then, a unicorn?” She asked.

Ceru sighed. “I knew that was gonna be brought up sooner or later.” She used her hooves to part her mane to reveal the smallest stump of a horn possible. “I lost my horn years ago. I know they say horns are supposed to grow back, but mine never did. Though, instead of losing my magic, I can now channel it with my hooves.” She explained.

“But your magic is unstable because you don’t have a proper channel for it. It just kinda flows through your body to your hooves instead of going right to the horn huh?” Charcoal questioned further.

Ceru nodded. “Exactly.” She looked at the donut Charcoal still had in her hoof. “You gonna eat that?”

Charcoal let out a soft chuckle. “Yeah, sorry.” She said, eating her donut. When she was done, she got out of her chair. “Alright. Let’s go back out there.” She turned to Joe. “Thanks for everything. We’ll be back tonight.”

Donut Joe watched the two mares leave, somewhat confused by their conversation. “It never gets boring around here, at least…”

Rain on my Parade

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There was nothing remarkable about Star’s house. It was a simple cottage, looking much like the rest of the town houses. I never found out what was inside regular Ponyville homes though. Turns out, not anything really special. Living room, kitchen, one bedroom, the usual. Just, ya know… ponified. I was mildly annoyed with the whole heart motif buildings had, but I just had to put up with it for a few days

She had a few card games, and I taught her one more, called Idiot. It’s one of my favorite card games, and I think of myself as pretty good at it. Star caught on quickly, and we played a few games. I won most of them, and after a few hours, we settled down for dinner. Star made hay and daisy sandwiches, which I first found odd, then after tasting one, I knew why. Again, pony taste buds baffle me. I’ll figure it out eventually. Overall, I found the afternoon uneventful. And really, what’s the point in me covering mundane events that have no purpose? Dumb filler is dumb. Moving on.

Star herself was very friendly. Cheerful, silly, and generally trying to keep me entertained. She did a better job of it than I did in the RV this morning. The thought of that made me think of my friends. Are they doing okay? Are they continuing the trip to see that Blueberry chick? I hope things aren’t going too badly for them.

These thoughts I took to bed with me as I entered Star’s bedroom. I would have been okay with sleeping on the couch, but Star insisted I slept with her and that her bed was big enough for two. Alright, fair enough for me. As I climbed into bed with her, it was rather comfy. Definitely comfier than what I’m used to sleeping on, and that really isn’t saying much. I snuggled into the blankets as Star climbed into bed. She chuckled at my show of comfort. “Comfy?” She asked. I gave a small nod and a “Mhmm” in reply.

I don’t know when I drifted off to sleep. Could have been instant or it could have been a few minutes. Either way, next thing I knew I was in a very familiar looking meadow with a familiar looking sky and a familiar looking blue alicorn walking towards me. “...Princess Luna? What are you doing here? And are you the one that I’m already acquainted with or are the Luna from the world I’m currently in?” I asked.

She looked confused for a moment. “Other worlds? Well, I guess that explains the odd message Twilight sent. So tell me young mare, why are you here?”

“I was pushed into your Equestria.” I replied. “Well, kicked. Hard. It hurt.” I flopped down onto the dream grass and sighed. “I’m just kinda getting sick of the shit I’m being put through for someone else’s agenda.”

Luna gave me a stern look. “Well ignoring your vulgar language, I’d like to offer an invitation. My sister and I would enjoy an opportunity to meet a visitor from another world. As long as you behave yourself, that is.” She stated.

I nodded. “Right. Sorry. I’m just kinda upset. That’s all. Didn’t mean any disrespect.” I apologized quickly. “So, um… An invitation? To visit? In Canterlot?”

Luna nodded. “Yes. If you could come to Canterlot at your earliest convenience, Celestia and I have a few questions and concerns. Nothing bad, just curious.”

I gave a shrug. Okay, nothing’s wrong with this. I’m just gonna go to Canterlot, talk to the princesses, play tourist a bit, then come back. What could go wrong? “Alright. I’ll take the first train to Canterlot I can.”

“Great. I’ll tell the guards to look out for you and let you in. Once we’re done, you’re free to look around Canterlot if you wish.” Luna explained.

“Alright, sounds like a plan. See ya.” I waved her off, but she didn’t leave. “What? Is there more?” I asked.

“Just one more thing. You didn’t happen to come with any friends, did you?”

I paused. “Um… As far as I’m aware, I was kicked in alone. I don’t think anyone else joined me. I certainly was alone on arrival until those fillies found me. And kicked me again. I’m getting kinda tired of it, to be honest.”

Luna smiled. “Well those three can be a hoofful. I like to think I helped them along though.” So Luna’s met the three troublemakers? Cuul beens. “Well the dawn is upon us, so I must be off. I will see you in Canterlot.” She said, taking off towards the moon, which had started setting over the horizon, being replaced with a bright yellow sun. The dream faded away as light overtook my vision.

I awoke, staring right into Starstreak’s face. Her eyes were already open. “Well good morning to you!” She said, very brightly. And startlingly. The combination of her face being very close to mine and her sudden increase in volume, somehow propelled me up, backwards, and out of bed. I landed flat on my back on the floor. I dunno how I did that. I blame cartoon logic. Her face once again popped into view as I lay on the floor, cringing in pain. “Oh sweet Celestia, are you okay?” She asked. Well at least she cares. Unlike some ponies...

“Yeah… perfectly fine. It’s just pain… Ow.” I groaned, slowly pulling myself off the floor and onto my feet. Or hooves. Whichever you prefer. “Well that’s one way to deliver a wake up call.” I gave my host a smile. “And good morning to you too. Got any plans for the next day or so?”

Star shook her head. “No, I’m free. Why?”

“Well, Princess Luna invited me to Canterlot. Apparently I attracted their attention, so they want to meet me. Ask a few questions. I don’t want to go alone, so… Wanna come with me?” I offered.

She seemed to think it over for a few seconds before nodding. “Sure, I’d love to. It would be great to see the princesses. Though, I would need an outfit to wear. Oh wait, Rarity was fixing one up for me. Maybe it’s done by now. Come on, let’s go see.” She said, beckoning me to follow.

I was reasonably hesitant. “Um, it’s a bit early. Let’s have breakfast first, and then go see Rarity.” I suggested. Anything to keep me away from that fashionista just a little longer.

Star agreed with me. “Good idea. I am pretty hungry. I’ll fix up some breaky.”

I nodded. “Okay. I’ll have some oatmeal then, please.” I went into the main room while Star entered the kitchen to prepare our breakfast. I looked out the window and saw a few ponies going about their morning. It looked like the pegasi were working on placing clouds across the sky. “Hmm… Looks like rain is on today’s forecast…”

“Aww… Rain, seriously? Why didn’t they tell me?” Star’s voice came from the kitchen.

“Probably a recent decision. Why? You a weather pony?” I asked.

“Yeah, though I’m on my week off.”

“You got a week off? Sweeeeet.” For some reason, saying that just didn’t sound right with my mare voice.

“Yeah. Why, don’t you get time off?” Star asked.

I shrugged. “Well I never had a job. Back home, I was just a teen trying to get through my last years of school… and barely scraping by with my grades… So I don’t know how the employment system works where I’m from.”

“Ah, well that’s too bad. Anyway, oatmeal’s done.” Star came out with two bowls of oatmeal balanced on her wings, I sat down beside her and took one of the bowls. “I hope you like cinnamon.”

I grinned as I could smell the cinnamon in the oatmeal. “I love cinnamon.” I said, digging into my breakfast eagerly. It was delicious. I enjoyed the microwave oatmeal at home, but this was something else. I don’t know if Star was a good cook, the oatmeal was just naturally better in Equestria, or pony tastebuds. I’m gonna say all three were contributing factors.

I finished in record time and found myself with my mouth in the bowl. Funny, I don’t remember digging in like an animal. And here I thought my blackouts were over… I looked over at Star, who was giving me a look of surprise. “I didn’t know my cooking was that good. I take it you enjoyed it?” She asked, her face going from surprised to amused.

I removed my muzzle from the bowl and used a napkin Star provided just then to wipe the oatmeal from my face. “Um… Yea, it was good. Sorry, kinda blacked out for a moment.” I looked away, kinda embarrassed at that display.

Star giggled and put a hoof on my shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m just glad somepony likes my cooking, even if it was just oatmeal.” She said. I looked at her as she got up and looked out the window. The sky was completely overcast. “Looks like you were right. It is gonna rain. I’ll go get a couple umbrellas for us.”

I continued to sit there as Star went looking for umbrellas. Looking out the window, I saw the rain start to fall. Quite fitting, considering this could be very bad day if things go wrong. Though, how could it go wrong? I was finally away from Bitchlestia and I could do what I wanted at my own pace without fear of getting my mind wiped. Though, now I have to show my face to another set of rulers, so good first impressions would be nice. Even if that means… I gotta wear a dress… Shit.

Star came back with an umbrella and what I believe was a folded up poncho. “Well I could only find one umbrella, but there’s a poncho here. Which do you want?” She asked.

“I’ll take the poncho.” She nodded and tossed me the poncho. It was red and smelled slightly of lemons. I don’t know why, and I’d rather not find out. Putting it on was a bit of a hassle, but I did it. “Alright, I’m ready. Let’s go.”

Star led the way outside. I followed close behind, the poncho doing its job of keeping me mostly dry. As we walked down the streets of Ponyville, I saw a few other ponies out and about, most with some sort of rain protection. There was even one cheeky unicorn using magic to block the rain.

As we walked, I noticed Pinkie Pie bouncing up to us. She had one of those silly umbrella hats on. “Hi hi hi Sunny Sun Sun. Isn’t this such a super fantastical day?” She asked, bouncing along beside me.

Star looked back at her as if she were crazy. “Um… You do realize it’s raining, right?” She asked.

Pinkie continued bouncing along, oblivious to Star’s question. Something was up… “By any chance… are you planning a party?”

Pinkie shot up and stared at me, getting right in my face. “Oh my gosh! Are you psychic?”

I put a hoof to her muzzle and slowly pushed her back. “Yeeeeaaaahhhh… Let’s go with that… Anyway, you might want to put that off for a bit. We’ve gotta get to Canterlot ASAP. Star’s picking up something from Rarity, then we’re taking the first train to Canterlot.” I explained.

Pinkie frowned and looked disappointed. “Oh. Well you’ll be back though, right?” She asked, hope returning into her voice.

I nodded. “I’ll be back. And when I do come back, you can throw me the best Pinkie Party you can with the couple extra days you have to plan it.” I said, giving my words as much enthusiasm as I could.

Pinkie springed right back, as peppy as ever. “You got it Sunny! I’ll make this the best “Welcome to Equestria” party EVER!” And with that, she went off to parts unknown. Probably a secret party planning room where she stalks everyone to learn everything about them…

Nah. That’s just silly.

Star and I gave each other a look. “I hope you know what you got yourself into.” She warned, like I put myself in danger.

I scoffed at the warning. “After what I’ve been through, I need a goddamn party. I have confidence in Pinkie. She is Ponyville’s Premier Party Pony after all. Now let’s get to Rarity. I’d rather not delay any longer.” Star nodded and we kept walking. Soon, Rarity’s boutique was in view. I knew I’d have to face this sooner or later. If Rarity has her say, I won’t be leaving that building without a dress in my bags or on my body. It’s just a risk I have to take though. So, moving on ahead, I opened the door and let Star inside, to which she thanked me for. After she entered, I did, and the door of the one place I feared more than anywhere else in Equestria shut behind me.

I Hate Tuesdays... and Dresses

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That little bell that store doors had jingled as the door shut behind us. Even if it was for a few minutes, I was glad to get out of the rain. When pegasi make it rain, they make it rain. Looking around, I didn’t see Rarity. Maybe she wasn’t home. Though what I did see were a few of Rarity’s products on display. “Rarity? Are you here?” I heard Starstreak call out.

“Coming! Just a minute, dear.” The unmistakable voice of Rarity came from upstairs. Shortly after, she trotted down into view, levitating a few rolls of fabric behind her. “Sorry, just rearranging some of my materials. What can I do for you?” She asked.

“My name is Starstreak. I was in here a couple days ago about a damaged dress. We’re going to Canterlot, so I thought I’d come by and see if it’s ready yet.” Star explained.

Rarity nodded. “Ah, yes. Nothing I couldn’t handle. I was wondering when you’d come to pick it up.” She levitated a black and white dress from one of the display racks and gave it to Star. “You sure you want it back now? It’s raining quite hard out there.”

“Yes, I’m sure. I got an umbrella. I’ll be fine.” Star assured her.

I called bullshit. “Until someone splashes you from the side, where your umbrella doesn’t protect you.”

Star frowned. “Oh yeah. Hmm… You got any sort of way to waterproof the dress?” She asked the only unicorn in the room.

“As a matter of fact, I do. I’ve been using a spell that repels water from fabric. Just in case I have to go out in the rain for something. Here, let me cast it on your dress.” I watched as Rarity casted the spell. Star’s dress seemed to have a glossy sheen for a second when then disappeared, leaving the dress looking like it normally would. “And there you go. It’ll wear off in a few hours. Plenty of time to rush off to the train station.”

“Thanks a bunch Rarity.” Star said happily, trotting over to the dressing room to put her dress on.

Rarity levitated a piece of paper over to her and looked it over for a second before turning to me. “Oh, pardon me. I never got your name.”

“My name is Sunshine. I just arrived in town yesterday.” I said, lowering the hood of the poncho down.

Rarity seemed to have a moment of realization upon hearing my name. “Oh, you must be that pony Twilight and Pinkie mentioned. Leaving already? Pinkie hasn’t even thrown you a party yet.”

I shook my head. “I talked to Pinkie already. I’m only gonna be in Canterlot for a couple days. Princesses are curious about me. I’ll come back when I’m done and Pinkie can throw her welcome party for me then.” I explained.

“Ah, I see…” She looked me over. “And you’re going to see the princesses in that?” She asked, pointing at the poncho I was wearing. Uh oh.

“Well, no…” I began, but was swiftly cut off.

“Well then, you need something much more stylish than that baggy poncho. I know!” She started getting that excited look I get when I have a great idea. Needless to say, I didn’t think any idea she had would be “great.”

“But I don’t plan on wearing the poncho-”

“I know. That’s why I’m going to make you a dress! I’m thinking pink. Pink definitely seems your color.”

“No!” I shouted, trying to get her crazy idea to stop. I don’t think she was listening though.

“No, you’re right.” Oh thank her ears. “Pink is too much. Blue though.. yes, goes great with both your mane and your eyes!” Shit, she really is stuck on the idea, isn’t she?

“Rarity, I don’t want a-” I started to say, but then she grabbed me with her magic, pulled the poncho off, as well as my bags, and set me down on that little stage she had. “What are you doing?”

“I gotta take your measurements dear. Now do please hold still.” And before I knew it, she started using her magic to move a measuring tape around me, writing down the measurements she was taking. It all moved so fast. She really is a pro at this. “There. Now don’t go anywhere. This won’t even take an hour.” She then rushed back upstairs, presumably to make the dress.

I sat there on the stage and grumbled. “Well this is just fucking great…” I looked to the door. Maybe I could run now while Rarity was busy. Just grab my stuff, get Star out of the dressing room, and run.

As I got off the stage to find where Rarity threw my shit, Star exited the dressing room, wearing her dress. “Sooo? How do I look?” She asked, clearly happy to have her dress back.

“Looks good. Now, let’s get out of here before I have to put one on.” I said, spotting the poncho by the wall.

“What? You have a thing against dresses?” Star asked.

“As a matter of fact, yes. Now let’s go.” I insisted. I wanted to be out and at the train station before Rarity came back to force me into that dress.

“What’s wrong with dresses?” A high pitched, somewhat squeaky voice said from the stairs. “My sister puts a lot of effort and care into her work, and it’s rude to just run off like this.”

Oh come on… Now I’m getting lectured by Sweetie Belle. Just what I fucking needed. “I never asked for a dress. I just want to get to Canterlot.”

“And Rarity wants you to look good when you do it.” Star countered. “After all, it would be weird if we showed up and only one of us looked presentable.”

“What do you mean? It’s not a formal gathering. I can get away without a dress.”

“That’s not what I meant. Your mane is a mess.” Star pointed out.

“It is?” I looked at one of Rarity’s many mirrors. My mane still looked like it did the day I got this body: blue, pink, and not styled at all. “Looks fine to me.”

Star gave me a deadpan look. “Sweetie, get me a brush.” I saw Sweetie went back upstairs to fetch a brush. And I regretted looking in that direction instantly because at that point, Star tackled me to the ground. “This is for your own good!” She then started to tickle me.

I tried to squirm free and get back at her. “No! You’ll never take me alive!”

“I hate you.” I growled as Star finished brushing my tail. All the messiness my mane and tail had accumulated over the past few days was gone. They now looked like I had put half an hour into brushing and slightly styling them, which was exactly what Star had done. The tail looked neater than it did before and my mane now covered half my face, only allowing my left eye to have the benefit of vision.

“Oh shush. You look adorable.” Star said, smiling proudly at her torture.

“For the fifth time, I don’t want to be adorable!” I snapped back. “I don’t want to be attractive, or cute. I just want to be me.” And when I said “me” I meant “not a fucking pony.”

“Well you are you. And you are attractive. So deal with it. Rarity should be done any minute, then we can go.”

I sighed and waited as Starstreak and Sweetie Belle debated on whether or not to add a ribbon to my hair, then groaned when they debated what color to use for the ribbon. I’m honestly considering just turning myself in to Hitlestia at this point. At least it would be over quickly. This is just prolonged torture. This is all somehow Twilight’s fault. I’m positive that my gender problem is definitely her fault. Maybe.

After another struggle, in which Sweetie Belle used her cuteness to distract me long enough for Star to jump me from behind, I now had a light blue ribbon tied to my tail and another one in my mane. “There. Now you look even cuter. You could almost compete with Sweetie Belle.” Star commented.

“Pssh. She has got nothing on me.” Sweetie bragged. “Though she could definitely beat Scootaloo. Don’t tell her I said that. She’ll take it as a challenge.”

I let out a chuckle at the thought of Scootaloo in a cuteness contest. “Just for that, I’ll definitely tell her now.” I said.

Just then, we heard Rarity come down the stairs, levitating a blue dress behind her. “I’m doooone.” She said proudly, in a singsong-like tone. “Tell me, what do you think?”

It was a simple design, nothing fancy or extravagant. It had a lighter shade of blue, somewhere between cyan and periwinkle, in the front part… I forget what that part is called… Bodice? I think? Or isn’t that what it used to be called? Fuck, I’m no expert on fashion. I’m even less of an expert on pony fashion. The skirt part of the dress was a darker shade of blue, which looked nice with the rest of it. Needless to say, I didn’t want it anywhere near me. It’s not that I hated it. Dresses look great on others. It’s just that I hated the idea of wearing it myself.

“It looks beautiful, Rarity.” I heard Sweetie Belle say.

“Yeah. Come on Sunny. Try it on.” Star nudged me forward. “Or am I gonna have to tickle you again?”

“I hate everything.” I grumbled as I fidgeted in the dress. I dunno how, but as Star was holding me down, Rarity got the dress on me. I was too busy being tickled to pay attention. Then she got me in front of the mirror so I could get a good look at myself. Looking at myself in the mirror, I didn’t really see “myself” anymore. I just saw a disgruntled, yet attractive mare in a blue dress, with a blue ribbon in her hair, which half-blinded her. I nearly felt sick thinking of myself as attractive. Not wanting to look at myself anymore, I looked away from the mirror, only to find myself looking into another one. I just sighed in defeat.

Rarity, who was looking over my dress to see if it fit well, looked up at me. “Is something wrong dear? Is the dress not to your liking?” She asked.

I was about to say yes, and complain about the whole ordeal I just went through. How I wanted to just run away from the girliness I was being surrounded by. I wanted to rip this dress off, jump out the window, and disappear. But I know that wouldn’t get anything done. Rarity had spent the better part of an hour quickly making this dress for me, and I just didn’t have the heart to throw her generosity back in her face. Though maybe I can try a gentler approach. “It’s fine, Rarity. It looks… good.” I had to force that out of my mouth. Tasted bad. “But I don’t think I could afford it.”

Rarity waved a hoof nonchalantly. “Oh, think nothing of it. This one’s on the house.” She said. Yeah, somehow I knew she’d say that. “Also, I love what you’ve done with your coiffure.” She added.

“Well… it wasn’t my idea. You can thank Star over there for that.” I said, tilting my head in her direction.

“Hey, I’d give myself that look, but my forelock just isn’t long enough.” Star said defensively, pointing to the top of her mane. So it’s called a forelock? Huh, learn something new every day. EDUCATION’S A BITCH!

I rolled my eyes. “Right…” I rubbed a hoof over the dress. It felt soft, but… odd. “It feels strange. I’ve never worn a dress before.” Because I’ve never been a girl before. “Are they supposed to feel this way?” I asked.

Rarity seemed shocked. “Never worn a dress? Well I guess that explains your hesitation to wear this one. But don’t worry dear, you’ll enjoy it. I’m sure.” Rarity tried and horrifically failed to reassure me. “But about the strange feeling, please describe it.”

“Well, um… It’s a soft and smooth feeling, but also a little tight, yet not quite. It’s hard for me to explain, because I don’t understand it.” I tried to describe the feeling, but I think it just came out as gibberish.

“Oh, I think it’s just the fabric. Don’t worry. I made sure it would be comfortable to wear for long periods of time.” Rarity was really keen on having me wear this all the way to Canterlot, huh? “It is comfortable, right?”

I reluctantly nodded. “It is comfortable, but I don’t really feel comfortable wearing it.” I tried once more to talk her out of the dress.

“Don’t worry, dear. I’m sure you’ll come to like it. It just takes a bit of getting used to, if this is truly your first time.” If you say so, Marshmallow.

“Riiiiight… So can we go now? We’ve been here an hour now. I’d really like to get going. Ya know, places to be, ponies to meet… Kinda important.” I didn’t want to be here any longer. They had their fun in torturing what little masculinity I had left into dust.

Rarity nodded. “Sure, darling. Here are your things.” She levitated my bags and poncho back to me, and was even nice enough to help me put them back on. The poncho fit nicely over the dress, which helped a little. I also didn’t need to be told that the waterproofing spell had been cast on my dress as well. “Alright now, have fun!”

“Uh huh. We’ll make sure to.” I said, with no excitement at all, as Star and I walked towards the door. Though I was was stopped by Sweetie Belle. “Huh? What is it?”

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry for kicking you yesterday.” She apologized. Well that was nice of her.

I gave her mane a rustle. “It’s okay Sweetie Belle. It only hurt a lot. Though, for future reference, try a nudge next time to find a sleeping pony.” I demonstrated by giving Sweetie a friendly nudge. We both laughed a bit. “Alright, I’ll see you later. Maybe.” I said my goodbye, and followed Star.

Star gave me a smile as she opened the door. “Hey, look at it this way. At least your day can’t get any worse.” She reassured.

I gave a glare in return. “You have no idea…”

Pains, Trains, and Intermissions

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“Okay… Enough running… Ow.” I said after my third trip over the dress. We had decided to hurry and run for the train station. Of course, I wasn’t used to running in a dress and tripped. Three times. As I picked myself up, I felt that pain from yesterday come back. “Owowow… Hold up...”

Star trotted up to me. “Is something wrong Sunny?” She asked, suddenly concerned.

I nodded. “It’s that kick from yesterday. I guess when Skittles wants you hurt, she really leaves a lasting mark.” I tried to keep walking, but the pain just turned it into a limp. “Son of a bitch… I wanted to get there quickly…”

“Here, it’s not that far. I’ll help you walk.” She walked up next to me and let me lean on her. Very nice of her. I noticed she took a sniff at my poncho. “Is that… lemons I smell?”

I laughed. “Eeyup. Don’t ask why. I don’t know.”

The next few minutes were rather quiet. I limped alongside Star and looked around at what the few ponies outside were doing. I saw a pony I recognized as Bon Bon galloping down the street with a bag in her mouth. Seemed she was in a hurry. Then again, it was raining pretty good, and Bon Bon was lacking any rain protection.

I also saw a couple fillies I didn’t recognize splashing in some puddles. It didn’t last long, as their parents moved them along. I chuckled as I remembered that feeling. Being a kid and splashing in puddles. Damn, I hate growing up.

I blew some of my hair out of my face. It was really bugging me, how I had half my face blocked by hair. I had no idea how girls (and some guys) could handle this sort of style. It was so fucking annoying.

The train station was in sight before long, so Star and I picked up the pace. It hurt a little more, but I just wanted to get out of the rain. We made it inside okay and I went to collapse on a bench while Star went to get the tickets. I groaned softly as I tried to find a more comfortable position to look around. Most of the ponies here I recognized, but couldn’t remember any of their names. Though I did recognize the gray mare standing in front of Star in the ticket line. With the bow tie and the cutie mark, that was obviously Octavia.

I watched as she got her ticket and sat on the bench beside me. I felt like giving her a greeting. “Hi there. Octavia, right?”

She looked over at me. “Hmm? Oh, yes. That’s me. Can I help you?” She asked.

“I just wanted to talk. I like talking to ponies. I make friends that way.” I replied. “So, what brings you to this train station on this fine day?”

Octavia stifled a giggle at my question. “I’m going to Canterlot. I have a performance tonight at the castle.”

“The castle? Is there a party of some kind going on?” I asked.

Octavia nodded. “In a sense. It’s not like parties here in Ponyville. High class. Formal event.” She looked over at me and must have seen what I was wearing under my poncho. “Looks like you’re already dressed. Your friend too.” She pointed at Star, who was coming over to us with the tickets. “Are you going to be attending?”

I shook my head. “Actually, I didn’t know there was a party going on. I was just invited to talk to the princesses.”

“Oh, why is that?” Octavia asked, suddenly very interested.

“It’s… complicated. But hey, if I can, I might be able to attend the party.” I said.

“Party? What party?” Star asked, sitting down at my other side.

I turned to face my friend. “There’s a formal party going on in the castle tonight.” I told her, then turned back to Octavia. “Oh right. I haven’t introduced myself yet. My name is Sunshine, and this is my friend Starstreak.” I introduced us, and Star waved happily at Octavia.

Octavia smiled politely and got up off the bench. “Well it was very nice meeting you two. Perhaps we’ll see each other in Canterlot. But now I must retrieve my belongings and board the train.” She said, then left.

I looked to Star. “I guess we should board the train too. Come on.” I said, getting off the bench and wincing at the pain in my side. It was less than it was, but that didn’t mean it couldn’t get worse. Star offered her side to lean on again, but I shook my head. “No, I can walk. I told Twilight I could walk the pain off, and i meant it.” I assured her. She looked skeptical, but walked on ahead.

As I was about to follow her out to the train, I spotted Twilight enter the station. She immediately spotted me and walked over. Hehe. Speak of the devil… “Hey Twilight. How’s that project coming along?” I asked.

She smiled at me. “It’s actually coming along pretty well. I wanted to get a chance to tell you I might have it done ahead of schedule, as long as nothing comes up.” She said cheerfully.

“Well you jinxed yourself there. Prepare for a big something to come up.” I said with a laugh. “Well thanks for the update, Princess Sparklebutt. I’ll see ya in a couple days.” I turned and followed Starstreak out to the train. We both picked a spot to sit in the train and waited for it to start moving. In the meantime, I took off my poncho. I didn’t need it anymore.

As the train started chugging along slowly, I looked out the window at the town of Ponyville. I opened the window and let my face get wet with rain. The scenery outside looked dreary, but at the same time, oddly refreshing. The rain definitely felt refreshing, since it was just hitting my face. As we left Ponyville behind the rain stopped and I shut the window. “That was refreshing… Though I think the wind messed my mane up a little.”

Star reached over and fixed my hair quickly. “There you go. Better?” She asked.

I nodded. “Yeah.” I leaned back to relax, but then I realized what I just said and shot back up. “Wait, did I just really say that? Did I really think that?” I found my face with my hooves and buried it in them. “Dammit… Make it go away…” I whispered.

Star leaned in closer. “I’m sorry? What was that?”

I sharply turned to face her, tears in my eyes. “Make these fucking thoughts go away!” I shouted. Some ponies probably looked in my direction at that outburst, but I didn’t care. I was tired of my mind and body working against me. I just wanted to get through this without losing myself. “If I lose anymore of my mind, I’m going to snap.” I said, my voice quieting back down.

Star embraced me in a hug. “Don’t worry. I’m not sure what’s wrong, but I’ll help you get through it.” She said softly, giving me a pat on the back. I don’t know what happened next. I just kinda started letting all my emotions out, and cried into her shoulder. I didn’t care about anything. I just wanted to cry. “There, let it all out…”


Ceruline and Charcoal left Donut Joe’s in high spirits and decently filled bellies. “Thanks for everything, Joe. Bye!” Ceru said, waving bye to him. He waved back and continued serving his usual morning customers. Ceru then looked at her friend. “So… Any plans for finding one mare in the entirety of Equestria?”

Charcoal nodded. “Yes, I was going over a few plans. Based on what we know about Sunny and her relationship with certain ponies, she would want to seek out potential friends and avoid anypony of power. However, she also wants to get back, as do we. So she would also find a pony who can possibly work with portals between worlds, and only the most powerful spellcasters would know anything about that. So… That leaves Twilight Sparkle and Princess Celestia. She’d have to take her chances with one of them. And my guess is Twilight is a little more approachable than Celestia. So… we should probably go to Ponyville and see if she knows anything.” Charcoal finished her explanation.

Ceru nodded in understanding. “Okay. IIIIIIIII guess we’re off to Ponyville then. To the train station!” She announced, and began marching down the street.

Charcoal rolled her eyes. “The train station is the other way.” She said matter-of-factly

Ceru did a 180 and marched in the other direction. “I knew that!” She announced in the same tone.

Charcoal stifled a giggle and casually followed her.


The throne room of Canterlot Palace had been lively recently. With the successful banishment of Sunshine, Princess Celestia had redirected all her efforts back to Operation:Harmonize. Patrols and scouts moved in and out of portals, looking for groups of humans to convert. Celestia herself was sitting on her throne, sipping a cup of tea imported from the human world. She had to admit, as terrible as humans were, they had great tea.

She had just finished her tea as Field Marshall Nimbi walked into the room. “Ah, there is my trusted commander. Tell me, how are things on your front?” She asked.

“Things are going very well. The serums worked as intentioned with no adverse effects. Though, the one human we picked up from Sunshine’s group had an… interesting development.” He briefed the princess.

Celestia raised an eyebrow at the mention of the human. “Tyler was his name, right? What happened to him?” She asked.

Nimbi floated a folder to her. In the folder were a few reports from the mages in charge of harmonizing the humans. When she read Tyler’s file, she noticed a few words that were highlighted, like “wings,” “horn,” and “Alicorn?” Also in the folder was a picture of the supposed alicorn. It was a mare with a yellow-orange coat, and her poofy mane and tail were a darker orange color. Wings were clearly visible on her side, and a horn protruded from her mane. The oddest thing was her cutie mark was a glass of lemonade. Without a doubt, this human had transformed into an alicorn.

Celestia gave the folder back and poured herself another cup of tea, taking a sip. “So… what do you propose we do? I don’t think she’ll make a good princess.”

“Well the mages suggest termination. We can’t have another alicorn just wandering around Equestria, and the human diplomats will be just as confused as her if she goes along with you to meetings.” Nimbi suggested.

Celestia thought this over as she sipped her tea again. What possible use could a harmonized alicorn be to the operation? Though, as she was about to respond, Rainbow Dash entered the throne room. “Oh, good evening Rainbow Dash. I heard the plan was a success. I look forward to the full briefing from Twilight. Where is she, anyway?” She asked.

The pegasus grimaced. “Well, there’s been a problem… Pinkie Pie and Twilight… Aren’t coming back…”

Celestia’s teacup shattered on the floor as her levitation faltered. She looked terrified. “What… do you mean they aren’t coming back?”

“I mean they totally ditched me and went with those other ponies! Sunshine’s friends!” Rainbow shouted, more angry at Twilight’s betrayal than at the pony she was directing that anger at.

The terror that Celestia felt quickly gave way to anger, but she tried to hold it in for the moment. “Is… is that all, Rainbow Dash?”

Rainbow shook her head. “Twilight mentioned one of those serums, specifically one meant for Sunshine. Two of Sunshine’s friends also followed her into the portal. A black pegasus and a brown earth pony with some crazy hoof magic.”

Nimbi turned to look at Rainbow with bewilderment. “Wait… Did you say hoof magic?” He asked. Rainbow nodded slowly, and Nimbi turned his attention back to Celestia. “Princess, permission to give chase to Sunshine?”

The princess shook her head. “Denied. I have a different assignment for you. However… I think I found a use for our new alicorn friend…” Celestia floated another teacup to her and tried to calm herself down with more tea. It wasn’t working. Things were quickly unraveling once more, and Sunshine was again at the center of it all.

Canterlot is Overrated

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I wiped the remaining tears from my eyes as I finished telling Star about the mental changes I was going through. Especially the times Stud Muffin had to interrupt my day or try to drag me off to… Let’s not go there... It felt better to talk about the things that bothered me, honestly. It was like I was letting a weight off my back. I don’t know why. Perhaps it was because she was a friend I could trust with the information. And it certainly is better than getting drunk and telling the story, like that night with Vinyl.

Star was quiet the whole time I told her the story. The only other noise was the sound of the train. Well, that and a crying filly. Oh… wait… that was still me. Dammit, stop crying. When I finished the story, Star gave me a sympathetic look. Or pity. Could be either. “I’m so sorry you had to be put through that…” She said, giving me a pat on the back. “But hey, now I know why you were so off kilter about dresses. Sorry for forcing you into it.” She added, trying to be humorous and apologetic at the same time.

I gave her a small smile. “Thanks for understanding… It means a lot.” I looked down at the dress I was wearing. “Though once this is all over, I’m burning the dress. Like, to ash.” I said, quite bluntly. Seriously, it just felt weird wearing this thing. Like it was helping my body and hurting my already fragile mind. There’s a very good reason to get this thing off. I swear, if Rarity enchanted this thing in any way… I’m going to snap.

Star smiled back. “I’ll help you. Burning things should be good fun.” She said, giggling. I joined her. I didn’t laugh, or chuckle. I giggled. Like a schoolfilly, alongside my friend. And you know what? I didn’t care this time. It felt good to let loose. Maybe I should enjoy this time, and stop fighting this body. Maybe.

I looked out the window to try and relax, moving my hair out of my face to give me a better view. The train was going up the mountain now. I swear… I could see forever… Sprawling shades of green laid out in front of me. Forests, farms, and grasslands. Equestria was a beautiful place to look at. From here, I could see Ponyville, that castle of Twilight’s sticking out like a sore thumb. Looking up, I could also see Cloudsdale. There is a place I have to visit. If it looks this good from here, I have to see it up close.

A giggling from behind made me realize I had my muzzle pressed up against the window. I turned around and looked back at Star. “Say, you think when we’re done in Canterlot, we can visit Cloudsdale?” I asked, somewhat sheepishly.

Star smiled and nodded. “Sure. I’ll see what I can do. Now come on, we’re almost there. Get yourself together.” She said, fixing my mane. I gave an unamused snort and she backed up quickly. “Oops. Sorry. I forgot you don’t like that style. Here, let me fix it.”

I held up a hoof to stop her. “No, it’s fine. You said it’s a good look for me, right?” I gave a reassuring smile. If I was going to start accepting this body, it was going to start right here.

Star nodded again. “Yeah, it gives you that sexy, slightly mysterious look. Very popular I hear.” She informed me. Before I could object, she put a hoof around me. “Hey, don’t worry. I’m your friend. Your wingpony. You’ll make it through this, and I’m sure your other friends will help you however they can too.” She reassured me.

The train slowly came to a stop at the Canterlot train station and I made sure my bags were secure before lining up with the rest of the ponies leaving the train car. I noticed one of them, a blue earth pony stallion, gave me a sympathetic look. I saw another stallion give me that look. The one Stud Muffin gave me when he first saw me. I passed him a sharp glare and he looked away. Yeah, he didn’t want what I gave Stud Muffin when we first met.

Star stepped off the train in front of that blue stallion, then he stepped out, then it was my turn. Looking around, I took a deep breath, then exhaled. “So… this is Canterlot… Pretty fuckin' sweet.” I stated simply.

Star giggled. “So, what’s the plan boss? Straight up to the castle?” She asked. “Because I know some great tourist places we could visit.”

I shook my head. “The tourism can wait. I want to get to the castle. We’ve held up the princesses long enough.” I said. “We’ll meet with the princesses, go to that little party, and then tomorrow we can go sightseeing.”

Star seemed satisfied by that and looked towards the bustling of Canterlot. “Well, shall we?” She offered, motioning towards the street ahead.

I looked at the busy street. No way were were gonna get there by walking. Then again, who needs legs when you got wings? Grinning, I spread my wings, taking to the air. Star followed my example. “We shall.”


Charcoal and Ceruline approached the train station just as the train pulled in. “Great, we got perfect timing. Come on Emby, time’s wasting!” Ceru said, running off towards the ticket booth.

Charcoal rolled her eyes at her silly companion as she observed her surroundings. Ponies had started to exit the train. Looking among them, she saw white pegasus mare step out, wearing a very matching black and white dress. “Huh… That’s a pretty mare. I wonder what the occasion is…” She trailed off as a familiar blue and pink mane came into view, her yellow coat mostly obscured by a blue dress. “Is… is that Sunny?”

Charcoal didn’t know what to think. The Sunny she knew was not a dress wearer. She even said that she didn’t ever want to be caught in one. And here she was, wearing a very pretty blue dress in public. She even had her mane styled a bit. Kind of a shy look. It suited her. Maybe she wasn’t actually their Sunny. Maybe she was the Sunny from this Equestria. There was only one way to find out. Before Charcoal could talk to her, she and the white mare took off. “Dammit.” She swore under her breath.

Charcoal spotted her tan friend in line to get tickets. Thinking quickly, she pulled Ceru out of the line, much to her dismay. “Hey, what was that for? I lost my place in line!” Ceru complained, well, more like whined.

Charcoal pointed up towards the direction Sunny and the other mare flew. “I saw Sunny. she’s here in Canterlot. Though… I’m not sure if it’s our Sunny.” She said skeptically.

Ceru ignored the skepticism and replaced it with confidence. “Even if it isn’t our Sunny - and I don’t know why you’d say that - we at least have to find out. Come on, we have to follow her!” She then took off running in the direction Charcoal pointed in.

The coal-colored pegasus took a moment to facehoof before taking off herself. She flew just above Ceru. “Okay, keep an eye on me. If we have to, we’ll signal each other so we don’t get lost. I’m going to follow her. You follow me as well as you can.” She instructed. Ceru nodded in confirmation, and Charcoal flew up above the rooftops, paying attention to both Ceru down below and Sunny up ahead. Her old job helped her pay attention to multiple things at once. Even still, she had to look down often to keep from losing Ceru in the crowd.

After a minute or two, it became clear that the two dressed up pegasi were heading in the direction of the castle. “Hmm… That could be a problem…” She flew back down to meet Ceru. “Well I have good news and bad news.” When Ceru motioned for her to continue, she explained. “I think I have an idea of where Sunny and her friend are going. The castle. We’re gonna need a plan to get in there.” Ceru opened her mouth. “WITHOUT doing it illegally.” She added. Ceru promptly closed it.


We landed at the front gates to the castle. I had to admit, when they built this crazy castle, they went all fucking out. It looked more extravagant than the show would like you to believe. Bigger, too. It was HUGE. As we approached the guards at the gate, one of them spoke up. “Are you Sunshine?” I nodded. “Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are expecting you. Go on in.” He said, opening the gate, which, of course, was made of solid fucking gold.

Star and I walked up to the already open front door of the castle, which had to be as big as a pickup truck. No, two pickup trucks. “Someone’s overcompensating.” I whispered to Star. I got a giggle in response. Entering the castle, it was about as big as I imagined. As in, it was pretty wide open. I could have a nice flight in here.

I must have been quite distracted by the decor of this place because I felt Star nudge my side. When I looked to her, she pointed in front of us. Standing there was Princess Celestia. She seemed to have a very amused look to her. “Welcome. You seem well dressed.” She greeted us.

I gave her a wave. “Yeah, it was kind of a spur of the moment thing. Also consider arresting Rarity and Sweetie Belle for cruel and unusual punishment.” I said jokingly. Maybe.

Celestia giggled at that. “I’ll consider it. I take it they were the ones responsible for your current attire?” She asked.

I nodded. “Well, them and this cheeky git right here.” I pointed at Star.

Celestia spread a wing and pointed it down the hall. “Well no sense in keeping this any longer. Luna and I are excited to meet somepony from another world.” She started walking, and the two of us followed.

I looked around the interior of the castle. For a very roomy structure, it wasn’t very decorated. The windows did actually show the outside, so it was a step up from the windows from Twilight’s castle. Another thing was the color scheme. Twilight’s castle was filled with primarily cool colors, making the place a rather unwelcoming and dark place to visit. The main color of Celestia’s castle was white, inviting light into the building and giving the place a welcoming feel. I felt more comfortable in this castle than I did in Twilight’s.

We climbed up a flight of stairs. Well, I didn’t. I flew, because fuck stairs. I quickly reached the top of the stairs, grinning as the other two followed behind. “What took you so long, slowpokes?” I joked.

Celestia made no attempt to hide her amusement. “We were held down by our slow legs. And gravity.” She joked back. I rolled my eyes at that. “Well Luna is waiting for us, so I suggest we hurry this up. I’m sure we have much to talk about.”

“Trust me, I don’t have much of a story to tell. I told Starstreak here everything in about half an hour. And I know nothing about anything else you might find important.” I tried to explain to her.

The larger princess said nothing, but opened a door and motioned for us to enter. I did so, with Star behind me. It looked to be a guest suite. It looks far too fancy for my taste. Especially the bed. I was so tempted to just jump onto the bed, but two things stopped me. First, I was in the presence of a princess, who was right behind me. Second, there was another one, lying right on where I wanted to jump. Curse you Princess Luna. Curse you.

Princess Luna got off the bed and sat down at a table that was sitting next to it. Star sat at the other end of the table and Celestia sat between them. Where did I sit? The bed, of course. Right after I flopped down ceremoniously onto it. “Woo! So comfy!” I looked over to them, and waved. “Go on. What do we have to talk about?”

Princess Luna cleared her throat before speaking. “Young Sunshine… On behalf of my sister and I, we welcome you to Equestria. I hope your visit has been satisfactory so far.” She said.

“Oh yeah, it’s been fun. If you don’t count being forced into a dress and my sanity snapping for a moment on the ride here. Oh, and let’s not forget the lovely way I was sent here in the first place. Thanks Skittles!” I ranted, most of which was filled with sarcasm. Rolling onto my back, I let out a sigh. “Juuuuust fantastic… Losing my mind in a body that ain’t even mine.”

Celestia and Luna both had bewildered looks on their faces. “Perhaps… you should start at the beginning…” Luna said.


It’s been a relatively quiet day for Private Banner. The two mares that were just let in was the most contact he had all day, and it wasn’t even him that had contact with them. It bored him greatly how nopony would take the time to just have a simple conversation with him. It was because he was a guard on duty, wasn’t it? He just stood there like a boring statue and kept out the riff-raff. Today was especially important for that second one since there was some sort of formal gathering going on tonight. The princesses were busy with their special guest, so he was just standing here alone. Even his partner who was here with him ended his shift after those pegasi went inside, leaving him to just stand here.

It wasn’t as though he hated his job. Joining the Royal Guard was the best way to get away from his folks in Manehatten and still make a living. Not to mention the fact that mares love a stallion in armor. The only problem was having “stand still like a statue” duty. Unfortunately, that’s the majority of what he had to do while as a guard.

He spotted a couple ponies walking towards him from the crowd. One of them was a black pegasus wearing a hard hat that matched her orange mane, a construction pony vest, and a saddlebag with a blueprint roll sticking out of it. She had a stern look on her face, like she had a bad day or something and now has some pent up anger. Aaaaand that anger was about to be directed at him. Great.

Behind the pegasus was a tan earth pony mare. She seemed oddly cheerful, considering the mare she was with. Perhaps she was the cause of the mare’s bad mood. She was dressed similarly to the pegasus, with a hard hat and vest. Banner idly wondered if these two were here on business. If so, it would’ve made sense to tell him. But then again, why would anypony tell him anything? He was just a Private on gate duty.

As the mare approached the gate, he stepped in front of her. “Excuse me ma’am, no visitors today.” He said, trying to put as much authority into his voice as he could.

The pegasus mare adjusted her glasses and looked him right in the eyes. For some reason, a chill went down his spine. “Excuse me?” She asked, her tone as cold as ice.

His ear flicked nervously. “I’m sorry, but I can’t let you through…” He insisted, but his tone was anything but insistent. If anything, he was getting progressively more nervous under the gaze of the pegasus.

She huffed and tapped a hoof on the ground. “Are you trying to keep us from doing our jobs?” She seemed to be getting more irritated with every passing second.

Private Banner was sweating under his armor. “Um, no… ma’am… But what is your job, if I may ask?”

“I am here to scope out the site for Princess Celestia’s new greenhouse. And I am on a tight schedule, so unless you want to explain to your superiors why I was held up at the gate, I would suggest letting us through. Now.” The mare demanded, stomping her hoof on the ground for emphasis.

The poor guard lost his composure completely at that point. “Y-yes ma’am. Go on in. Sorry for keeping you.” He said, opening the gate for the mares quickly.

The mare gave him a curt nod. “Thank you. Have a nice day.” She said, much calmer as she and her partner walked past him and onto the castle grounds.

As Private Banner shut the gate behind them, he let out a sigh. “I need a break… Wait… What’s a greenhouse?”

Nothing but Talking.

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Celestia and Luna had some very odd looks for me as I finished telling them of my adventures. Celestia’s was more of shock, like she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Luna’s was more of intrigue, probably about the other her. Talk about self-obsessed…

Like I said, the story took about half an hour to tell. Sometime around halfway in, I requested a drink of water. Talking this much does not do wonders for my throat. When I finished, they had quite a few questions about the technology my world had, and I answered to the best of my abilities. I was no expert on technology. I just kinda learn by experience.

When the questions were done, I asked for opinions. Celestia spoke up first. “Well… I can’t say what you’ve been through was all too pleasant. If I knew the exact magic behind interdimensional portals and your transformation, you’d be able to go home right now. However, if Twilight is looking for a way for you to get back, I assure you she will get it done. She’s quite persistent.” She said.

“Indeed. Though, I’m curious as to why you decided to trust Twilight and Celestia so quickly here after how you were treated back in the other world.” Luna added.

I shrugged. “Well for one thing, my Twilight doesn’t have wings or a castle. Well, at least I think she doesn’t have one. I’ve never been to her Equestria, as much as the false memories want to make me believe otherwise.” Upon seeing the surprised faces of the three ponies at the table, I elaborated. “Oh yeah, I forgot. Twilight said she implanted a few false memories in me during the transformation, in hopes of more slowly coming in to help me forget my old life. They never surfaced, and I forgot they existed.” Praise be to my terrible memory.

Celestia blinked. “Well… Um, that’s certainly…” She started to say.

“Outrageous!” Starstreak interrupted. “They can’t take away what makes you you! It’s not right!” She then realized she was sitting beside two princesses and had interrupted one of them. “My apologies, Princess. It was not my place to speak.”

Celestia gave a warm smile. “It’s quite alright, my little pony. I agree. Taking away a pony’s free will is one thing, but their individuality is another thing entirely.”

“Something has to be done about this. I’m not eager to begin diplomatic relations with a psychopathic version of myself.” Luna added.

“Actually,” I interrupted, “Princess Luna’s other version was rather helpful. I mentioned that she passed on a gift from Twilight and brought a friendly changeling to help me along.”

Luna didn’t seem convinced. “Yes, but wasn’t Twilight still out to get you? Why would you accept help from your enemy? And I wouldn’t really accept a changeling’s help that quickly either.”

“Yes, I see your points. The fact remains though, I would have lost already without her help. And as for the gift, I’ve yet to use it. I probably never will. I’m told it’ll hurt.”

“Do you… still have it?” Star asked.

“I don’t think so. Let me check.” I looked through my bags to see if I had the box. Sure enough, it was right there. “Huh… I could have sworn I left this behind.” I said, putting the box on the table.

Celestia opened the box, showing the syringe. “What is that? It feels magical.” She asked.

“It feels like your magic, sister.” Luna added.

“That’s because it is.” I interjected. “Twilight said that syringe holds a bit of her Celestia’s DNA. I doubt it’ll give me a horn and the power to control the sun, but whatever it is, I’m kinda scared of it. Heck, I’m scared of myself already. Why would I want something in me that I don’t know what it is? For all I know, it really could turn me into a copy of Celestia.” Sure, that was a bit paranoid of me, but better safe than sorry.

I dunno why, but my comment got a chuckle out of Celestia and Luna. “Well if that happens, it would give me a good reason to sleep in. Maybe take a vacation.” Celestia joked.

“We’ll never know unless we try, right?” Star asked. “How about a small sample?” I gave my best death glare, which didn’t seem to be very threatening. She got the message though. “Alright, fine. Is there a way to safely test to see if it’s safe?”

“Actually, I think I can help there.” Luna spoke up. “I know a trustworthy mage in the palace who would be happy to test its safety.”

Celestia gave her sister a knowing look. “Oh, would that mage just happen to be in this room?” Luna just grinned.

“Well, if you want to take a look at it, go ahead.” I said, waving a hoof at her dismissively.

Luna’s grin grew. “I’ll bring it back tomorrow morning. But before I go, I have one more question. What are you gonna do if somepony follows you here?”

I shrugged. “Hope they’re friendly. If not, pray that I’m not found. Though, being here is probably safer than hiding out somewhere.” Then another thought came to mind. “I have one more question as well. How did you find out about me? And don’t say ‘magic’. I hate that excuse.”

Luna looked uneasy. “Well… We kinda got a warning from the other Equestria that you’d be showing up… I was skeptical, though when I actually found you among the dreamscape, I was rather surprised. Especially since you weren’t the only strange presence I felt last night.”

“I-I wasn’t?” Okay, that was news to me. I thought I was sent in alone. The fact that I wasn’t is rather shocking. “Well… I suddenly feel less safe.”

“You’re welcome to sleep here tonight. You’ve already made friends with the bed.” Celestia said. “Starstreak can sleep in the room next door. That is, unless you want to both sleep in the same bed.” She added, giving Star a teasing grin.

Upon seeing the blush appear on Star’s face, I decided to add my two bits. “Why not? We already slept together last night. Luna can vouch for me on that.” Celestia and I chuckled as Starstreak tried to look like she was invisible.

“Oh really? One night and you’re already sharing the same bed?” Celestia asked.

“What can I say? I work fast.” One eep later, we were short one pegasus in the room. “Aw, I was just about to get to the kinky stuff too.”

Celestia raised an eyebrow at me. “Did you really do it?” She asked.

I shook me head. Me head? Yarr, I be a pirate now. “Nah, I was just teasing her. Though we really did sleep in the same bed last night.” I stated.

“I’ll go get her.” Luna said, getting up. “And then I’ll take a look at the gift, if you don’t mind.” I gave her a shrug. “Okay. Until tomorrow then.” And with that, she left. Just me and Celestia now.

“Soooooo…” I decided to start up a new topic. “I heard you’re hosting a little party tonight. What’s the occasion?”

“Oh, no special occasion. It was actually Blueblood’s idea.” I gave her a questioning look, and she continued. “Well, after a rather… embarrassing incident, he’s been trying to make amends for his actions and improve his reputation.”

“What was the incident?” I asked.

“Let’s just say it involved a hot tub, two crystal ponies, and a very large tub of noodles,” Celestia explained, “and not in the way you would think.”

“I dunno. Sounds like a great Friday night if you ask me.” I said, holding in my laughter.

Celestia giggled. “Indeed. I take it you want to attend as well?” She asked. I nodded in response. “Well, since you and Starstreak are our guests, I’m sure Blueblood won’t mind. And if he does, he’ll just have to answer to Luna.”

“That’s great to hear, Princess.” Star said, re-entering the room. “When does it start?”

“In a few hours.” She replied. “You’re welcome to wait here or explore the gardens if you like.”

That was a lovely time for my stomach to growl at me. “Actually, do you guys do room service?” I asked.

“That depends. What would you like?”

I thought for a moment. “You got any pizza?”

Starstreak’s stomach growled beside me. “I second that notion. I have no idea what pizza is like and I really want to try some.”

The princess nodded, giggling. “Alright, I’ll pass it on then. In the meantime, what I said previously still stands. Just try not to get lost.” And with that said, she left the room, leaving just Star and myself.

“Sooooo… Now what?” Star asked, obviously looking at me.

I just flopped on the bed and shrugged. “Stay here, wait for pizza, eat pizza, and then possibly party with a bunch of fancy ponies. I say possibly because I’ve seen what they’re like, and unless something exciting happens, it’s a waste of my time and theirs.”

“It would be interesting just to see though. They are Equestria’s elite, you know.” Star said, taking a seat on the bed beside me.

“Meeeeeeeh.” Was all I could bother giving as a response. “Status means nothing when your parties are lame as shit.”

“Maybe they’ll be something cool there. I mean, if anything we could get drunk and have the staff drag us back here.” Star suggested.

“Yeeeeaaaah; no. I got drunk once. Never again.” I growled, burying my face into the sheets.

“Geez, was it that bad?”

“I nearly ended up riding piggyback with some asshat named Stud Muffin.” I grumbled, recalling the experience Twilight got me into and Vinyl saved me from. I never did apologize for knocking her out that one time, did I? I dun’t remember… That was a crazy night.

Star cringed beside me. “Yikes, sounds like you’re easier than you’d like to be when drunk.” I shot her a glare and she frowned. “Sorry. It must not have been a pleasant experience.”

I nodded and firmly planted my face into a pillow. It was soft. Very soft. “At least the cider tasted nice…” I mumbled.

I felt a thump beside me and surmised that Star flopped closer to me. “Yeeeeah, never like swamp water cider.”

“Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft. Seriously?” I laughed. “Is that what you ponies call it?” I picked my face off the pillow. “I mean, yeah, I see why. Swamp water is shit, I bet. Worse than that lake I went to one time. The taste stuck for days. I know I wasn’t supposed to drink it, but when you get dunked, you do not get time to think about closing your mouth.” Hello tangent, my old friend. I’ve come to talk with you again.

Star giggled beside me. “Riiiiiiight… So are you just going to wait here? We could find somepony to give us a tour of the castle.” She suggested.

“Naaaaaaaah. I’m going to enjoy this little luxury for now, then tomorrow we can play tourist in Canterlot, go back to your place in Ponyville, then I can just wait until Twilight finishes that portal and I can go back to trying to go home.” I explained.

“You’re really dead set on going home, huh? What’s even waiting for you there?”

I blinked at her question. “Well… friends, family, this really big Pikachu plushie…”

“Yeah, you mentioned that when we were in the Hayburger yesterday. You had one when you woke up as a pony. And you had a family and made new friends, me included.”

I sat up and glared at Star. “If you’re going where I think you are, stop. That family was fabricated. Half of those “friends” were fabricated. All I know about this fabricated life was from what fabricated memories were implanted into my fabricated body. Do I make my point clear?” I hope I did, considering I stamped my hoof down every time I said “fabricated.”

She slowly nodded. “Yes, I get it, and I apologize for bringing it up. I just thought you might think about an alternative.”

I sighed and shook my head. “I’ll be damned if I’m going to be stopped by a sappy ending where the protagonist chooses to stay with friends they barely know rather than go home where they have a life, however shitty it may be. Yes, I could start a life with those new friends, if they haven’t been taken away. I could even start a life here, where I don’t have a megalomaniac alicorn trying to purge a world under the guise of creating harmony.”

“Well when you say it like that, it sounds like you’re really in a jam then.” Came the voice of Princess Celestia from the doorway. She stepped inside, levitating a pizza and the fresh scent that comes with it into the room. Well, minus one slice. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help but try some myself. While the chefs are proficient in many styles of cooking from all around the world, there are just some things I’ve never had the pleasure of eating. I must say, whatever ponies invented pizza really had the right idea.” She said, levitating the pizza to the table. “I hear this is a delicacy in Manehatten. Anyway, there you are. I hope our chefs made it to your liking.”

I quickly hopped off the bed and sat at the table. Star followed close behind. “Well that was fast, Princess. How’d they do it? Heating spell?” I couldn’t help but ask.

She gave a nod in response. “Of course. While I do not condone the use of magic to solve problems, it certainly comes in handy in a pinch.”

“Yeah, I can see that coming in handy like that. Hey quick question, completely off-topic. Where did terms like ‘handy’ come from? Ponies don’t have hands.”

“From creatures that did have hands, of course. You’d be surprised where modern Equestrian gets a lot of its words.” Celestia chuckled slightly, then pointed at the pizza on the table. “Now, are you going to eat that, or can I have it?”

I spread a wing and motioned for her to join us with it. “Well we can surely split it if you want. I don’t mind. It just means fewer leftovers.” I offered.

From across, I heard Star eating a slice of pizza. “Oh sweet Celestia, this is good.” Both Celestia and I turned to look at her and her face turned red. “Oh, oh my. I’m sorry, it’s just that-”

Celestia’s laughter cut her off. “It’s alright, my little pony. Enjoy the food. I have matters of my own I must attend to. For example, night must fall soon, so I recommend not getting your dresses dirty. The party starts soon; I’ll have a staff member escort you to the ballroom when it does. Enjoy.” She said, then turned and left the room.

“Well, I can’t argue with that.” And so I began eating the pizza.

The End of the Beginning

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After the pizza was finished, Star and I basically sat around and waited for whatever pony that was going to escort us to the party. Eventually the door finally opened, and a blue pegasus mare dressed in a maid uniform stepped in. “Oh, Sunny? When did you get here?” She asked. “I thought you were on a mission.”

I stared blankly at the maid for a moment. “Um… Who are you, how do you know me, and what do you mean? What mission?” I asked.

All she did was wink at me. “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. Now come on, I was told to escort you to the party, so come on.” She said, turning around and trotting down the hall, leaving Star and I to hurry and catch up.

When we did, she was humming a tune that I recognized from Halo. “Hey, where’d you learn that tune?” I couldn’t help but ask.

“From you, of course.” She replied. “Are you having memory issues, or are you not my Sunny?”

“Probably not your Sunny. Wait, there are other Sunnys?” Then again, I really should have seen that coming. I’ve crossed through a few different dimensions now. I would probably run into myself if it continued. I wonder how that would work. Would the universe collapse or would nothing happen? Not something I wanna find out firsthoof.

The maid confirmed my suspicions. “Sure, there are a bunch. Most of them end up similarly though. Light powers, metal wing, super cool adventurers. You don’t have the wing, but do you have the light?”

I held up a hoof to stop her. “Woah, hold on. Back the truck up here. What do you mean?”

“Light magic. The ability to control and solidify light. You saying you don’t have it?”

I shook my head. “I’ve been a pony for a few days. If I had that sort of superpower, I would have found out.” Another thought came to my mind. “Unless… That serum…”

The maid shrugged. “Possibly. I can’t say for sure. So if you’re not my Sunny, or even a pony, where are you from? Another dimension? Did Calcutta send you here?” She really likes spewing questions at me, doesn’t she?

Wait, what was that she said? That name sounds familiar… Oh right, that other me from before mentioned it! “You’re familiar with Calcutta?” I asked.

The maid nodded. “Yup. So you are with them?” She asked back. I filled her in on the exchange I had with the other me. “Ah yes, you were in contact with one of their agents. My Sunny is an agent as well.”

I chuckled. “Small multiverse then, huh? Anyway, what’s your name? I can’t keep referring to you as the maid in my head.”

The maid paused. “Oh, I’m sorry. How terribly rude of me. I forgot you don’t know me. I’m Moongleam. Nice to meet you.” She said.

I nodded. “Nice to meet you too. I’m gonna forget your name in an hour.” I said. Star giggled behind me. “By the way, why is your organization called Calcutta anyway? And what does it do?”

The maid Moongleam seemed happy to answer. “It’s an old name, gone through many translations over the millennia. Its original name and meaning has been lost to time, but at least it has a name. Though rumors have been going around about changing it again to Elysium. I like Calcutta though. It has a unique charm to it.”

I deadpanned. “You talk a lot. You know that, right?”

Star and Moongleam giggled. “Oh, just passing the time. Look, here we are.” We stopped. Ahead of us was a giant silver decorated door leading into the ballroom. I could hear the music and chatter on the other side. Moongleam pushed open the doors and let Star and I enter the room. “Have fun you two.” She said, closing the doors.

I took my time, looking around the room while Star went right for the buffet table. There were a lot of ponies in the ballroom. Most of them were unicorns, but there were a few pegasi and earth ponies among them, us included. A large crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling. The entire room was sparely decorated, but the decorations that were there were quite fancy. A couple nobles looked my way, then went back to talking with each other.

I slowly started walking along the outside of the ballroom, looking for somepony I recognized. I smiled as I noticed the stage in the back, where a group of musicians were playing some classical music I didn’t recognize. Though, I did recognize a couple ponies on the stage, one of them being Octavia. I approached the stage and gave her a wave. She looked at me and nodded, but did not stop playing. So I just sat by the stage and listened to the music, having nothing better to do.

After a few minutes, they stopped playing. Octavia set her cello down and addressed the rest of the group. “Alright, take five everypony.” She instructed. The others nodded and left the stage for the buffet table. Octavia walked over to me. “It’s nice to see you again. Did you enjoy our performance?” She asked.

I nodded. “That was very nice. Was that one of your own compositions?”

Octavia shook her head. “Not that one. I do have a couple, but they were made for a… different audience.” She said nervously. “Nonetheless, I’m glad you liked it.”

Octavia and I spent a few minutes talking about her music. I asked her about why she chose the cello, and she told me she uses a variety of instruments, but the cello is her favorite because it’s what she grew up with. She also told me about how her roommate would often practice with her and even assisted her in composing a duet. I made a mental note to visit her and hear this duet next chance I got, assuming I ever got a chance.

When Octavia’s bandmates, or orchestra-mates, something like that, returned, Octavia joined them on the stage. They were about to start playing again when Prince Blueblood stepped up on the stage. “Attention everypony. I would just like to say thank you for attending this little soiree I put together. I do hope you enjoy yourselves, and that you forgive me for all I’ve done in the past.” He announced. His little speech was met with scattered applause from some of the nobles in the room. He stepped down from the stage, allowing Octavia and the others to start playing again, but then he noticed me. All the nopes in the world couldn’t describe how I felt when he laid his eyes on me. His eyes seemed to scan me, they way he was looking.

I turned around and began to walk away, looking for Star, but then he started talking to me. “Excuse me Miss. I don’t think I’ve seen you around before. I certainly didn’t invite you.”

I stopped and sighed, turning back to face him. I could smell his cologne. Very fragrant, almost overpoweringly so. And yet, oddly nice. “Oh, I’m with the princesses. I’m a foreign ambassador.” I lied. Well, half-lied. The first part was true, but I’m nowhere near ambassador level. I’m not even a tourist!

His demeanor seemed to change. He relaxed and smiled at me. “Oh, well my apologies. Where are you visiting from?” He asked.

I debated making something up, but I decided fuckit either way. “I’m from America. Ever heard of it?” I dunno, maybe it exists here in one form or another.

To my relief he nodded. “Ah yes, Amareica. I heard auntie wanted to do some negotiations with them. Such a small, but powerful pegasus-ruled nation would benefit greatly from some unicorn oversight, don’t you agree?” He took my leg and kissed my hoof. “I’m sure you’ll put in a good word for me, won’t you?”

I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks as he did this, but I fought it off. “W-we’ll see…” I managed to say. “Nothing’s set in stone yet.”

Blueblood chuckled at that. “Yes, of course.” He paused, giving me another look over. “Perhaps if you accompany me to my chambers after the party, I can sweeten the deal for you. My treat.” Oh, now I know he’s trying to seduce me. Sorry buster, but I’m no woman. I like my chicken fried, if you catch my drift.

I shook my head. “Sorry, but Princess Twilight has sweetened the deal plenty already.” I said.

Blue blood looked almost shocked, before bursting out laughing. “Oh, is that so? I didn’t know she worked that way. Or maybe it’s just me.” He was probably about to try and seduce me further, if a large blue shape hadn’t stepped into view. “Oh, aunt Luna. I didn’t expect to see you here.”

The princess looked at Blueblood with a disdainful expression. “Ah yes. I came to speak to our esteemed guest, and I find you trying to flirt with her. Some habits die hard, don’t they?” She questioned.

Blueblood suddenly looked much more nervous around Luna. “I-I, well... I was just trying to make the dear ambassador feel more welcome. You know, show her the best Equestria has to offer. I’m sure I have plenty of things Princess Twilight doesn’t.” Luna’s expression darkened and he raised a hoof. “Alright. I do apologize for my behavior. I guess I still have some ways to go.” He turned back to me. “I hope you’ll forgive my actions.”

I smiled and nodded. “Well at least you’re trying to learn. I’ve tried teaching my brother, but the poor kid is so spoiled he’s practically beyond redemption. He’s stolen stuff from me and taken it to school with him. He took a knife from me. A knife! I swear... “ I looked at them and just saw confusion on their faces. “Oh dear, I tangented again. I’m sorry. I do that a lot.” I chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of my head. I need to keep my tangents to myself.

Luna’s expression softened. “Yes, well then. Sunshine, I’d like to speak with you in private.” She said. I gave a nod and bid Blueblood farewell, following Luna out of the ballroom and into the hallway. “I finished taking a look at the syringe. Honestly, I can’t find anything dangerous about it, but I still don’t know what will happen if you inject it.”

I looked down the hallway to see if Moongleam was anywhere near. She wasn’t. “Well Luna, I met somepony on the way here to seemed to know me quite well. She gave me an idea of what that serum might do.” I told her of my exchange with the odd maid.

Luna looked quite stunned. “You mean to say that one of my maids has been from another world all this time? That’s… unexpected.” She said when I finished. “And you think the serum might give you some kind of light based magic?”

I nodded. “It’s entirely plausible, based on what I was told about the alternate mes and the serum.”

“Interesting… My sister controls the path of the sun across our sky, but she does not control the light it emits. Or at least, if she did she hasn’t told me. She tends to like her secrets, after all.” Luna paused for a moment. “Do you want the syringe back now?”

“Well…” I thought for a moment. It really couldn’t hurt to at least have it. I mean, it would make me feel a bit safer. “Sure, I think it’ll be better if I held onto it until I decide to use it, if at all.”

Luna gave me a satchel bag. I opened it to see the serum inside. “Just be careful. I’m sure having that much power accidentally injected into you would be quite painful.” She warned.

I stood up and nodded at Luna. “Yes, of course. Thanks a lot, Princess.” I said. I turned to go. “Could you tell Star I’m gonna turn in early? I wanna get this dress off and get to bed. Big day tomorrow. Gonna play tourist in Canterlot.”

Luna nodded. “Of course. I bid you pleasant dreams, Sunshine.” She said, and left into the ballroom.

I started down the hall, and aside from the occasional guard, it was quiet. I like the quiet. After how hectic these past few days had been, I found the quiet moments to be a special gift. Of course, those moments usually came right before shit hit the fan, so I was weary.

I came to the stairs leading up to the guest room when I heard someone call out my name. I turned around to see two familiar ponies galloping towards me. “Charcoal? Ceru?” I asked. What the fuck were they doing here? “What the fuck are you two doing here? And what’s with the construction gear?”

Ceru scooped me up in a hug, which I hesitantly returned. “We’ve been looking all over Canterlot for you! I’m so glad you’re alright.” She said.

Charcoal merely smiled and adjusted her glasses. “We jumped in after you and ended up in Canterlot. We were on our way to Ponyville to look for you there, but we saw you come in here.” She explained. “Nice dress, by the way. Very pretty.”

“Thanks, I guess… But I didn’t really want it. It was kinda forced on me.” I said. “If I could get some assistance in taking it off, that would be lovely. Also get my mane back to its scruffiness. I don’t know how people cope with hair blocking their vision, but I’m lucky I haven’t had any issues with that.”

“Awww, but you look so adorable.” Ceru cooed into my ear. “I could just eat you up.” ...Riiiiight… She’s gone cuckoo. Charcoal, any help here?

Charcoal moved to my side and undid the zipper on my back, letting me take the dress off. I folded it up and put it in the satchel, taking the syringe out. “You still have that?” Charcoal asked.

I nodded. “I do, and I feel more comfortable actually using it now. It’ll still hurt, but it’s no more dangerous than that.” I explained. I took the ribbons out of my mane and tail, and gave myself a little shake to remove the styling done on them. “There. Much better.”

I tucked the syringe behind my ear, where it for some reason stayed perfectly still. Charcoal took a blueprint out of her saddlebag. “You two go on ahead. I’ve got something I want to show the princesses. I’ll probably get arrested if I don’t anyway.” She said.

“Alright. Princess Luna went into the ballroom. Careful, there are a lot of nobles in there.” I said, pointing down the hall towards the way I came from. My black pegasus friend nodded and trotted off in that direction.

Ceru, meanwhile, joined me to the guest suite. “Wow, nice place. I’ve stayed in the castle before, but never in one of these suites. Very fancy.”

“Yeah,” I agreed, “I’m just glad things have calmed down, and I don’t have to worry about Twibutt or Celestalin trying to make me conform.”

I heard a knock on the door and figured that was Star coming back from the party. Opening the door revealed a completely different sight, however. Yellow-orange fur, a glowing horn, spread out wings, and angry teal eyes. “Well shit, Celestia sent an alicorn after me, didn’t she?”

I had my question answered when I felt that now familiar feeling of magic against me, forcing me back into the table behind me. I really hope that snapping sound was the table leg and not my leg. I felt a burning feeling in my left foreleg, but I can feel it, so it isn’t broken.

Okay, that is really burning now. Ow. Owowow. I looked down to the leg and found the now empty syringe stuck into my leg, surrounded by a teal glow. Weeeeeellllll shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. Well played, alicorn…

I pulled the syringe from my leg and tossed it aside, trying to stand up even though I was in quite a bit of pain. “Come on, bitch… Is that the best you got?”

The alicorn responded by charging towards me, but she was caught in the side from an angry Ceru. “No! Not again! You will not take Sunny away this time!” She roared, punching the alicorn multiple times with those oddly glowing hooves of hers.

Even though Ceru kept me from getting tackled, my body started hurting more as the burning sensation spread up my leg and into my chest. I clutched my chest and fell over as I suddenly found it hard to breathe. “C-ceru… Help…” I wheezed as the world started getting fuzzy.

I did my best to pull myself up, but it felt like I was on fire. Luna said the serum was safe, but maybe the power in it was just too much for my still somewhat fresh body? Was I going to die here, unable to handle the pure magic coursing through me? All I know for certain is that pain fucking hurts.

I heard Ceru call out to me, but the burning enveloped me completely and the last thing I saw before I blacked out was Ceru’s worried expression as the alicorn beat her aside.

Well, it was fun while it lasted…


Princess Luna walked along the halls of Canterlot Castle, alongside Star Streak and the newcomer Charcoal Embers, who claimed she was one of Sunny’s friends. Luna had seen the blueprint Charcoal had showed her and was quite impressed. “I had no idea something like that could be made. A building that could theoretically hold any plant that we have, while simulating its natural environment? Your world astounds me with its knowledge.” She complimented.

Charcoal chuckled lightly. “Well it’s not from my world. It’s from the human one. I stumbled across these blueprints on the job, and with a few tweaks, figured out how we can substitute human technology for pony magic.” The mare explained.

The three were nearing the guest suite then they heard crying from inside. “Oh dear, I hope they didn’t argue…” Charcoal said as she approached the door. When she entered, she and the others were shocked to find the room a mess. The table in the middle was destroyed, various other furnishings had varying degrees of damage, and Ceruline was crying in the bed. Charcoal rushed right over to her side. “What happened? Where is Sunshine?”

Ceru looked over at Charcoal, her eyes red from tears. “S-some… alicorn came and… and took S-sunny away… Through a portal…”

Suddenly, everyone in the room was shocked to see a portal open in the room, and drop a familiar yellow pegasus. She was still unconscious, and Luna levitated her to the bed and set her down. Ceru totally forgot about her earlier sadness and hugged the returning Sunshine, but when she did the mare’s eyes shot open and shoved her away. “Hey! I didn’t ask for a… wake-up… call…” She started looking around, seemingly in a panic. “H-hey, where am I? Who are you ponies!?” She demanded. Her eyes caught onto Princess Luna, and she seemed to fly into a bigger panic. “You… You’re supposed to be dead!”


Starry Night did not have a pleasant ride to California. Between Rain’s constant tourist stops and Vinyl’s music, she was barely able to get a moment’s peace for the two days she’s been on the road with them. Pinkie Pie and Twilight had joined them for a time, but after they had a talk the previous night, they just vanished. It wasn’t until they came to Fresno, California that Starry finally saw light at the end of the very dark tunnel. And not dark in the way she liked.

They called ahead to make sure Blueberry knew they were coming, and they wanted her expertise for something. She had been reluctant at first, but quickly opened up to the idea of opening gateways into more alternate dimensions. So she was going to have things more or less ready by the time they got there. Blueberry had also provided instructions to her home.

The RV turned into the cul-de-sac where Blueberry lived, finding her rather blue house rather easily. The whole house was very bright shade of blue. Even her windows were blue. Vinyl chuckled beside her. “All we need is a blue Corvette and this scene is perfect.”

Starry failed to see what Vinyl had meant by that comment, but there were more important things to worry about. They had to get Sunshine back so she could get home. While Starry felt a little sad that she chose to want to go home rather than help stop Celestia’s threat, she understood the reasoning why. She wasn’t from this world. She wasn’t a fighter. The scuffle in the pizza restaurant taught her that much. But she was the centerpiece of this little rebellion, the key pony that they could all rally behind for support. She was as true as a friend as could be, and Starry respected that, despite all that’s happened.

Pain parked the RV on the driveway and everyone stepped out. Starry led the others to the front door and rung the doorbell. Soon, a bright blue unicorn mare opened the door. “Oh, great, you’re here! Come in, come in! Everything’s just about ready!” She looked very excited to have the company she did. Or maybe she was just glad to have company at all.

Inside the house were loads of eccentric statuettes of all kinds. It kinda creeped Vinyl out a little. “So… what exactly do you have for us that’s going to get Sunny back?” She asked.

Blueberry immediately did a 180 and faced Vinyl. “That’s a very good question Miss Scratch. The answer will require a piece of her DNA. Preferably hair.” She replied. “You see, I’m going to lock on to her, and only her, DNA signature across the multiverse, and then I’m going to open a portal to the spot Sunny’s in. From there, it’s a simple grab and go. Easy peasy.”

Starry nodded. “I dunno if we have the hair, but we can look in the RV. I’m sure there’s something you can use.” She said.

Starry turned around to leave, but a pounding on the door stopped her. “This is the Equestrian Royal Guard!” Bellowed a voice from outside. “You are all under arrest for treason against Equestria. Come out or we’ll come in!”

“Damnit, they must have been listening to our call!” Vinyl swore.

Rain and Blueberry looked panicked, and unsure what to do. “Does anyone have an escape plan?”

“I got one…” Vinyl muttered under her breath. “I didn’t want to do this...” She pulled a small black box from her mane. “I was really hoping I could save this for the victory party, but I guess desperate times call for desperate measures.”

The voice from outside sounded more agitated. “You have five seconds!” He shouted.

Starry looked at Vinyl inquisitively. “Vinyl, what is that?”

“Four…”

“Just a little pet project I’ve been working on.”

“Three…”

“And just what does it do?”

“Two…”

“Just stand back, everypony…”

“One...”

“I’ve got this.”

Then everything erupted into chaos.

Epilogue

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Princess Celestia had been at her throne all day, going through her plans for the day. Everything rested on the final defeat of Sunshine and her little band of traitors to Equestria. After finding out that her own faithful student, as well as the Element of Laughter had both betrayed her, she needed to rush Operation: Harmonize into full swing soon. Everything was all set. All she needed was a green light from Nimbi.

Hope filled her when Nimbi entered the throne room, looking particularly confident. “Your Majesty, I have good news to report. We have captured the traitors.” He announced.

Celestia breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s very good. Any news from the alicorn?” She inquired.

The alicorn, which the mages had named “Lemon Drop,” showed a lot of promise and was eager to be given a mission. She hoped that, despite her initial playful nature, that Lemon could eventually be molded into a proper princess in time.

“The only news I got from her is that she has decided to play a game with Sunshine. Keep her busy while the plan is underway. That way, if somehow she is defeated, by the time Sunshine can return to stop you, you would have already won.” Nimbi reported.

Celestia was a bit surprised by Lemon’s strategy, but that surprise quickly turned to approval. Whether Sunshine won or lost, she’d be out of the way completely. It was perfect. “Excellent. By the way, did you capture Twilight and Pinkie Pie?” She asked. She wanted to know why her student had left her.

Nimbi shook his head. “One of the traitors gave up willingly, and provided some information. He said that they left quickly after joining.” That news shocked Celestia. So where was her student then? “Also,” Nimbi continued, “he has requested an audience with you.”

The sun princess raised an eyebrow as this request. Surely it couldn’t hurt, right? “Very well. Bring him in.”

Nimbi bowed and nodded, then left the room. A few minutes later, he brought in a snow-white pegasus stallion, who looked particularly dejected. The stallion had his wings bound to his sides. Celestia recognized this stallion as one of Sunshine’s simulated friends. A pony who had his memories reworked to suit Operation: Harmonize. It wasn’t something she was proud of, but it worked. Most of the time, at least.

The stallion stepped forward and bowed. “Your Majesty, my name is Snowstorm. I used to hang out with Sunshine all the time. I just… I can’t believe Sunshine would wish to commit acts of treason of her own volition. Please Princess, tell me she’s been brainwashed or something.” Tears started welling up in his eyes. “I just want to see her again, to hang out just like we used to. Maybe even a little more…”

Celestia didn’t know what to say at first. This poor pony had been through so much. Maybe it was better if he just got his memories rewritten again. No, she was not going to subject an innocent pony to that kind of torture again. “Fear not, my little pony. I promise things will turn out okay in the end.” She reassured him. It would be enough for now, until she could find a solution. “Nimbi, please release this stallion’s bindings. He is not a threat to Equestria.”

Nimbi nodded and released Snowstorm. He gave his wings a shake and was escorted out by another guard. “So, is everything ready, Princess?” Nimbi asked.

Celestia nodded. “We are ready. Mobilize the guard. We commence phase three immediately.”

Today, humanity would know true harmony.