> The Animation Bureau
>  by Chaotic Dreams
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Chapter 1
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Animation Bureau
“Is the Subject in place?”
“Finally, yes. It took the little bugger all day to find out where I really am. It was fun, don’t get me wrong, but I’m not really sure this is the kind of Agent material you’re looking for in the Senior Circle. Girl could use a few more years to learn what it means to take on a TRUE villain.”
“As always, you lie. She has done better than any Agent to date, by far. And you are her final test. Remember, don’t hold back on her. Death should not in any way be avoided if she is indeed unworthy of our cause, but on the off chance she does live through it and subdue you like the few others who survived, she will make a fine addition to the team.”
“I never hold back. And I don’t like to kill my victims anyway—that’s too easy, and besides, corpses are boring. They just sit there and are…corpsy. No, I prefer to interact with my victims—fates worse than death are far more fun.”
“Do what you wish. Just don’t let us down, or it’s back to the Box.”
“Bah. Fine, you and your stupid rules. Wouldn’t it be better if they all just…blew away?”
“Yes, yes it would. What else do you think we’re working towards?”
. . .
Lauren blew a stray lock of scarlet hair out of her face, languidly lounging in the pleasant haze of the summer heat. The birds were singing, and the gentle sunlight filtered in dapple and green through the full-flowered cover of the treetops. It was calm, serene, and peaceful.
It was also driving Lauren bored out of her mind.
“When is this portal-jumper supposed to show up?” Lauren exasperated to no one in particular. “He was supposed to be here HOURS ago!”
“Where would the fun be in arriving on time?” dripped a honeyed voice from behind her, a sinisterly dark laugh underlying its playfully innocent question. “You’d be expecting that. And I, for one…”
Lauren shot around, darting her fist out, zap baton in hand, to electrify—
—Nothing. The voice had already sidled away elsewhere, toying with her.
“…Like to keep the Bureau on its toes,” the voice continued, every-other word spoken as if by a different voice. There was no rhyme or reason to its pronunciation or tone, either; Lauren could’ve been talking to a five-year old with a speech impediment or a ninety-year old with a lifetime of smoking behind him, and she’d never know the difference.
“And you never will know the difference, sweet Lauren,” the voice mocked. “A pity really, that you should be driven mad before you can even tell the McCracken boy how much you—”
“GET OUT OF MY HEAD!” Lauren shouted, jumping down from the tree to land almost silently despite the thick underbrush and fallen leaves of the forest floor. Down here, sunlight was a coveted and rare treasure, and…things…feasted in the darkness.
But whatever monsters waited for Lauren in this Godforsaken uncharted forest, they were the least of her worries. 	She had a spray can of paint thinner if push came to shove, anyway.
“Ouch, that really hurt, you know,” the voice oozed with condescension and surprised respect at the same time. “I would’ve left if you asked nicely… HUMAN.”
“Show yourself, you Animated coward!” Lauren called out into the dark and foreboding half-light of the Everfree Forest. “I haven’t got all day!”
“And I’ve got all eternity, so why should I rush? You could be dead and gone in the blink of a mismatched eye, and I would never know the difference.”
“Then perhaps I should just smoke you out?” Lauren smirked.
“What?!” the voice squeaked, suddenly jerked into an involuntary reaction. The voice’s owner, wherever they were, was speaking clearly and consistently with a single voice instead of a hundred now, recognizing the threat that all Animated beings feared. It seemed that push may have just come to shove after all. “You wouldn’t dare! That goes against every code of the Bureau—”
“But we’re not IN the Bureau, ARE we?” Lauren laughed, thoroughly enjoying the voice’s discomfort. 
Silence.
Then, finally,
“It seems I have misjudged you, Lauren Faust,” the voice said at last, a smile of begrudging respect glimmering at the edges of the reply. “You’re file doesn’t cover everything, it seems.”
“So we have a portal-jumping crime AND pilfering Bureau files, do we? That’s two counts, two-hundred years in prison,” Lauren continued. “But if you’ve got all eternity to wait it out, I’m sure the Detention Center down at headquarters can think of a proper way to accommodate a sentence more suiting to your lifespan, and your nature.”
“Indeed, these files are absolutely worthless,” the voice conceded at last. And I can’t teleport out of here without you firing your precious thinner in a random direction and hope to catch invisible ol’ me, so that’s not an option either, as I’m sure you’ve already guessed.”
Actually, Lauren hadn’t, but she wasn’t about to tell…whoever it was…that. 
“So it seems I must show myself.”
Lauren whirled around at the sound of snapping fingers to see the strangest creature she had ever seen—and in her line of work, that was saying something—literally step into view. Not from behind a tree, mind you, but from behind a veil of light concealing him from prying eyes and the long arm of the law—namely, her.
It was tall, long, and serpentine, not unlike the eastern dragons she had fought or worked alongside in several Animated worlds featuring a Chinese likeness, from Dragon Ball Z to Mulan. But all other resemblance to, well, ANYTHING, ended right there. The thin, undulating body was made of three differently colored sections, all with different skins or furs or scales to match. One leg was of a brown and hoofed variety, the other of a green lizard with generous raptor-like claws. For arms the thing sported a lion paw and an eagle claw, and two different horns adorned its vaguely equine face, which of course had a fang sticking down out of its upper lip as its mismatched eyes—it hadn’t lied about those—looked down on her with a mix of interest and fear.
“Nice to finally see you,” Lauren chuckled humorlessly. “Or…maybe it isn’t.” 
“Well, I’ve had worse reactions, so your stoic response is actually a bit of a breather,” the creature said, equally humorlessly. “I, for one, find it quite enjoyable. I’m comfortable in the body I’m in…it just seems that everypony else isn’t.”
“What did you just say?” Lauren almost burst out laughing. 
“I’ve had entire villages run screaming mad at the mere sight of me, and your mild look of revulsion—”
“No, not that,” Lauren cut the thing(s) off. For, with that many different body parts, how could you really tell if it was plural or singular? “Did you just say ‘every-PONY?’”
“Why yes, I did,” the chimaera laughed in turn. “In this world, which I guess you humans haven’t officially discovered yet, the dominant sentient species are small candy-colored, order-loving ponies. Quite boring given their way, really, but fun to mess with on a global, reality-bending scale.”
“Reality-bending?” Lauren gulped. It was probably just a fluke; all Animated beings bent reality as humans knew it, but that was simply because the laws of physics operating in their respective worlds allowed for things such as spontaneous regeneration after what should have been a fatal blow or hovering in place if they momentarily forgot things like gravity existed. In fact, the ‘laws’ of physics was itself a misnomer when applied to the Animated; for them, the laws were more like ‘guidelines.’ But seldom did the Animated actually reference this, as they considered it all normal. If an Animated being was actually saying they could bend reality as the laws of physics in whatever world they were in knew them, then Lauren could be in a bit of trouble.
Okay, a LOT of trouble. 
“Oh, you didn’t deduce that already?” the multi-creature sneered, seeing an upper hand. “I’m kind of what the beings of this fair, dull land would call a primal force of nature. I’m chaos personified, with all the powers that name entails. Most Animated beings aren’t mind-readers, you know—really, I thought you would’ve caught on to that sooner.”
“Then I guess I should just thin you out right now, huh?” Lauren said, relishing once again the look of fear that flashed across the gray horse-face. That didn’t mean she was free of fear herself, however—far from it. When humans generally thought of chaos, they thought of either earthly anarchy or cartoon physics. This creature claimed—and given his looks, Lauren could think of no reason to dispute that claim—to be both. And if he was what Animated beings saw as chaos, then that just took it up to the next level. 
Still, Lauren had a little reality-altering trick of her own, should she need to use it. And though the Agent hoped she wouldn’t, it was looking increasingly likely that she would. 
“Maybe we should think this through a bit, and we might come to a mutual understanding,” the chimaera continued uneasily, eyeing the can of spray-thinner in Lauren’s tightly-clenched fist. “I am Discord, a draconequus who is as old as time itself and also just-so-happens to be the spirit of disharmony and chaos. This world that I have ‘portal-jumped’ to is known as Equestria, though that’s really only a small part of it. You, as I already know from your file and your thoughts, though I hope you’ll accept my apologies for invading your personal information, are Lauren Faust, a twenty-one year-old human Agent of the Animation Bureau from Earth, sent here to capture me for doing nothing more than trying to return home. Earth was boring anyway, and I was quite happy to leave it.”
“You’re correct on every account but one,” Lauren noted. “The Earth I know is far from boring, especially since the portals to the Animated worlds opened up. And usually, for an Animated being simply returning to their home world, I’d just forge some paperwork saying you got away from me and let you off the hook. This is an undiscovered world, after all, so noBODY would be the wiser should you slip away, even though it’s my sworn duty as an Agent of the Animation Bureau to stop all unauthorized portal travel of any kind.”
“But…?” Discord wondered.
“But it sounds like you’re a burden to this world, a criminal here as well as on Earth. And I’m not about to let an Animated world be mucked up, even by one of its own,” Lauren finished. “I’m sorry, Discord, I truly am. If you had played your cards differently, I’m sure these…Equestrian ponies…would be glad to have you back. But it sounds like you chose to be a villain a long time ago, and never looked back. I’m taking you down, whether it’s to the Maximum Security Detention Center at Animation Bureau headquarters back on Earth or in a puddle of paint-thinner, which, by the way, I’m told is an extremely painful way to die.”
“Just as I thought,” Discord sighed. “But you know, given my nature, I won’t just give up.”
“I’d be kind of disappointed if you did,” Lauren genuinely smiled at the chimaera. “As you would say, that’d take the fun out of it.”
The two stood staring at each other for a moment longer, eyes locked in a kind of grim respect for the other despite being total enemies.
Then, Discord sprang into the sky—and Lauren swiftly followed with her spring shoes. Latching onto the draconequus’ snaky tail, Lauren took out the teleport ring and jabbed it towards the creature’s wiry frame, only to have her bucked off like a rider at a rodeo at the last minute when Discord realized what the silver ring adorned with flashing lights was and displayed a momentary surge of panic-driven strength.
“Look out below!” Discord smirked as he snapped his fingers, and a flash of light lit up the forest. In place of the welcoming foliage of trees was suddenly a field of towering razor-sharp spikes, each sharper than the last.
“Reminds me a little of Mortal Kombat,” Lauren said to herself as she continued to calmly plummet to her doom. “Rolfe would’ve loved to see this.”
“Shouldn’t you be screaming or something?” Discord asked her, appearing a safe distance away and following her down. “Your jumpy-shoes won’t save you from THAT, let me tell you.”
“You’re not the only one with a few tricks,” Lauren retorted with a smile, and snapped her own fingers. A WHOOSH of gold and Lauren was suddenly upright, standing on top of a small yellow cloud with a wispy tail. “My friend Goku gave this to me on our last mission together back in his world. It’s called a nimbus cloud; he has one just like it.”
“Darn it!” Discord snapped, then bolted away through the sky, Lauren in hot pursuit. Clicking his fingers together again, Discord dashed off into a drive of dragons that hadn’t been there a split second before, and Lauren dashed in after him.
A claw swiped at Lauren, who dodged just in time to get smacked by a swinging tail and thrown into the scaly back of another dragon, who scraped the puny human off his hide with his claws and threw her up into the air. Lauren’s nimbus cloud was suffering a similar fate, being ripped apart by two other dragons like puppies tug-of-warring over a chew toy.
A blast of flame enveloped Lauren from the fanged mouths of the remaining dragons, and a muffled scream was carried away by the wind. 
Discord watched the scene with utter horror. 
“I didn’t even get to drive her mad!” he spat at the ground, his spittle turning into a pig that was impaled bloodily on the still-spiky ground far below. “Why do they always die before the fun REALLY begins?!”
“You really don’t know much about humans, do you Discord?”
“Lauren!” Discord swung around to swipe his own paws, claws elongated in uncharacteristic fear. “How did you—”
But Lauren wasn’t there. 
“I thought you were supposed to be the spirit of disharmony and chaos, Discord?” Lauren mocked him from just out of sight. “Where’s the cotton-candy clouds? The chocolate milk rain? The wonderland checkerboards? All you’ve done so far is try to brutally murder me!”
“That’s because I’m fighting for me life here!” Discord snapped. “Celestia only ever trapped me in stone, but I’ve seen first-claw the horrors you humans perform on each other! You’re all mad, you are, and coming from me that’s saying something!”
“Then why don’t you embrace us, Discord?” Lauren taunted, still unseen, though the draconequus swiveled and turned every-which way he could, all to find nothing but empty air and dragons a ways off playing with the shredded remains of a golden cloud. “Don’t you like our brand of insanity?”
“No!” Discord shouted, enraged. “Now show yourself, human!”
“Ironic, isn’t it,” Lauren laughed. “That it’s me driving you mad here?”
Discord spun around again, only this time Lauren didn’t vanish before he got there. 
Lauren was hovering right in front of him, arms crossed, eyes smiling darkly. The young woman was encased in an aura of violent energy, and her hair, once scarlet and straight and flowing over her shoulders, was now golden and swaying in the air as if underwater.
“Goku was a nice guy, and I can honestly say he’s one of my closest Animated friends,” Lauren went on. “And since I don’t have any human friends, that makes him one of my closest friends in general. You see, Goku and you are a lot alike. You’re the spirit of chaos, and he’s kind of like the spirit of fighting for a righteous cause. And friends don’t just give each other gifts. They teach each other as well. I’m not nearly as strong as he is, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t learn a thing or two from the martial arts master.”
“You can’t possibly be serious!” Discord spluttered. “Human aren’t supposed to have that kind of power! Humans are weak and small and easily manipulated—in all the time I was on Earth, I didn’t even have to hypnotize a human once! They all just did whatever I duped them into doing of their own accord!”
“Humans aren’t weak, Discord,” Lauren continued to smile. “A lot of them are just a little misguided. Humans are something to be feared, whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Why do you think it was we who made first contact with universes other than our own? Why do you think not a single world we’ve encountered so far built portals before we did? And besides, I’m not like other humans. I have even less interest in them than you do, though I doubt you’ll ever believe that. Humans hurt me, Discord. The Animated never did that to me. I am a friend to the Animated. And you, my friend, are about to see just WHY humans should be feared, ESPECIALLY me.”
Lauren’s fist darted out faster than Discord could react and caught him square on the nose, his soft flesh rebounding off of it like a bag of pea soup dropped from the top of a skyscraper. The ichor splattered all over Lauren, where it evaporated against the blaze of her raw energy. 
Licking her lips to taste a few drops before they steamed away, Lauren said “Chocolate milk for blood, why am I not surprised?”
Discord, meanwhile, wailed in pain, attempting to cover up his gaping wound with his claws. 
Seeing her chance, Lauren darted forward, took out the teleportation ring, and—
“NO!” Discord raged, smacking it out of Lauren’s hand with a wild fury. “I’M NOT GOING BACK!”
The ring fell towards the ground many miles below, which suddenly seemed to be closer than it had all during Lauren and Discord’s brief battle. Now, why would that be…?
Oh...
Crap.
Discord snapped his fingers again and the wound healed shut, though the draconequus looked enraged enough to actually want to kill Lauren this time. 
But Lauren wasn’t there anymore, nor was she hiding just out of sight, for Discord simply followed the distant shrill screaming with his eyes until he saw the Animation Agent plummeting towards the spiky death far, far below. 
And he burst out laughing.
“Why did I explain all that to him?!” Lauren cursed herself. Was it because she actually felt sympathy for the draconequus? Sure, he was evil, but he’d never actually tried to kill her directly, and—cut that out! Now was not the time to be debating the morality of an Animated scumbag. Now was the time to try and find a way to NOT die impaled like so many of Rolfe’s characters in Mortal Kombat. If only she had acted sooner! Goku had warned her about going super and how it probably wouldn’t last as long since she was a human rather than a Sayin as he was. And how it would probably drain her of so much energy that she might even…
Pass…
Out…
The world went black around Lauren as she fell to Equestria’s waiting death spikes below, Discord laughing all the while.
“What a pity,” Lauren said to herself as her eyes closed peacefully despite the doom eagerly rushing up to meet her. “Now I’ll never see Rolfe again, the lovable little nerd, and I’ll never get to tell Craig how I really feel about him…”
Lauren’s eyes closed, and she continued to plummet. 
. . .

> Chapter 2
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 2
“How’s the Subject faring?”
“How do you think? She’s going up against me, after all.”
“That doesn’t answer the question.”
“She’s not doing too well. Last I saw she was falling to her death over a forest of spikes. You know, I think I’ll actually miss this one when she’s gone. She put up quite a fight, I’ll never deny that, and she even surprised me a few times.”
“You prattle on about her as if her fate was sealed. She isn’t dead yet—don’t let your guard down unless you know for sure that she is.”
“Fine. After all, she’s turned the tables on me plenty of times already, who’s to say she won’t do the same when she’s falling at terminal velocity towards a field of death while in an comatose state due to lack of energy?”
“Enough. Finish the job and finish her or she’ll finish you. Is that clear?”
“Whatever. Wait, what’s that—”
. . .
“H…?
“He…?
“Hello…?”
“Get back you filthy piece of paint!” Lauren screamed as she lurched out of the bed, hand darting to her holster to whip out the spray can of thinner—only to find that it wasn’t there! “What?! Where’s my gear! Where’s anything?!”
Lauren’s eyes darted around her, seeing and feeling none of the comforting weight of her Animation Agent equipment, from her spring shoes to her can of paint thinner or anything in between…
…Including her clothes.
“And why am I naked?!”
“You sure shout a lot,” complained another voice, different from the one that had woken her up. “And threatening the friends of the person who saved your life isn’t exactly a welcome way to say thanks.”
Lauren finally looked up from where she was lying in the bed someone had placed her in to see six pairs of eyes watching her, some nervously, some curiously, but all with a mix of fascination of fear. The eye’s owners were all vaguely equine in shape, but smaller and definitely differently colored and proportioned from any horse-like animals she had ever known. 
Except for…
“Wait a minute,” Lauren began to chuckle. “I don’t believe this! You’re all My Little Ponies!”
“What?”
“The toy franchise,” Lauren went on. “I used to play with miniature versions of you when I was little. Let me see…if I remember my classes at the Bureau correctly, you all had various stages of development in the animation industry during the 80s, but no cartoons that really went anywhere. None of your franchise is even in reruns anymore. But then again, you guys don’t exactly look quite like the toys I remember…”
“I think she must have hit her head when fighting Discord,” said a cyan pegasus with a multicolored mane and tail, hovering overhead—the same one who had claimed to save her life. 
“Maybe she was already crazy?” ventured a snow-white unicorn with purple hair in twisting curls sitting at the foot of the bed, at what Lauren guessed she deemed was a safe distance from the strange creature. “I think she’d have to be to fight Discord on her own. I mean, we barely did it ourselves when we all worked together!”
“Maybe it’s just a communication barrier,” suggested a lavender unicorn studying Lauren intently from beside her. The unicorn leaned in to stare closely at Lauren’s face, and Lauren backed up accordingly, unnerved. Apparently My Little Ponies had no conception of personal space—then again, most Animated beings didn’t, but despite all the time she had spent with them Lauren still hadn’t gotten used to it. “Her language might only sound like ours, but actually be completely different, or at least a different dialect. I’d love to do a dissection on her brain—”
“That’s it!” Lauren announced, wrapping the bed covers around her and standing up. The ponies backed up as she towered over them, looking up to her nervously. “Who are you, where are my clothes, and what is going on?”
“You’re right, Rainbow Dash,” commented the ivory unicorn to the sky-blue pegasus. “She is indeed rather rude. And why is she insisting on covering up like that?”
“I’m covering up because you—where are my clothes?” Lauren demanded. “And my gear? You know, robbing an Animation Bureau Agent is punishable by at least one-hundred years in Detention, whether you’re a discovered world or not!” 
Lauren suddenly seemed to soften up a bit. Then, grumbling, she muttered “Never mind. I’ll keep that out of the field report if one of you will just please tell me what’s going on?”
“I can do that!” declared the blue pegasus, Rainbow Dash according to the white unicorn, puffing out her chest proudly. “I saw you fighting Discord, and I was like, whoa, she’ taking on that rotten no-good piece of dung all by herself, and then you stopped glowing and started to fall towards the spikes Discord turned the Everfree Forest into, and then I swooped into action and rescued you!”
“Then Rainbow brought you here to my cottage so I could take a look at you,” mumbled a creamy pegasus with flowing pink locks almost imperceptibly. “You were in a pretty deep sleep, but thankfully that seemed to be all that was wrong with you, but we took off your shell just in case there were any wounds to tend to. We were doing just that when you woke up.”
“And Fluttershy had thought it would be a good idea to call the rest of us over to help think of what to do with you,” finished the purple unicorn. “We’ve never seen a creature like you before. Are you native to Equestria, or are you from another land?”
“Oh, this is going to be so hard to explain,” Lauren exasperated. “Normally they send in a Contact Team to deal with this sort of thing, but when…Discord, yeah, that’s the guy…when he portal-jumped back into this undiscovered world and I had to follow him…Hmm…
“Let me put it like this,” Lauren explained. “I’m not from this ‘Equestria,’ and I’m also not from any place you’ve ever heard of. I’m from another planet entirely, one called Earth—”
“You mean you’re a space alien?!” the creamy pegasus squeaked. “You’re not going to eat our brains, are you?!”
“Alien is one thing, but I’m something even farther away than that,” Lauren continued. “Uh, have any of you ever heard of quantum physics?”
“I have!” the lavender unicorn spoke up with interest. “It’s a theoretical field of advanced magical study!”
“Maybe in this world,” Lauren went on. “Where I come from, we call it science. Well, a while ago some practitioners of science invented these things called portals. They were supposed to open doorways to other universes—”
“OTHER universes?” a pink pony devoid of wings or horn in the back of the room questioned. “Yay! That means there’s even more people to party with than I thought!”
“—and they did, in a way, but not in any way we expected,” Lauren further explained. “For some reason, and the scientists have this big fancy explanation for why this is but I couldn’t explain that part if my life depended on it, the portals opened onto worlds that we already knew, sort of. They opened onto cartoons we had all grown up with, worlds that we had only thought to be imaginary—but they were every bit as real as Earth was, and we hastily explored them. After a while things started getting out of hand with inter-world travel, so the Animation Bureau was set up to oversee anything having to do with the portals. This world hadn’t been discovered yet, but the person I’m chasing came from it and went back to it, all without going through all the Bureau’s legal mumbo-jumbo, so I, being an Agent of the Bureau, have to catch him. Personally, I couldn’t care less if he just wanted to go back home, but this ‘Discord’ seemed like a real jerk.”
“…Um, did anypony follow that?” Rainbow Dash asked her fellow equines. “And why is she snickering at me?!”
“You mean to tell me that you’re not just from another planet, you’re from another UNIVERSE?” the purple unicorn gasped with awe. “This is AMAZING! Imagine all we could learn from each other! And of course, all the wonders that come with having been the first to discover a new species AND a new world—”
“Hey, I discovered her first!” Rainbow Dash insisted. “I saved her life!”
“I think she means that the credit would go to all of us, dear,” said the white unicorn. “And I must admit I am deeply curious as to the fashion of this ‘Earth.’ Your shell was most interesting, but what do you…Earth-things have in the way of dresses?”
“Shell?” Lauren echoed, then began to laugh. “Oh, you mean my Agent uniform? It’s not a shell, it’s just a special suit that's supposed to help me function as an operative of the Bureau. The hard bits are just extra padding and light armor should things get rough…though they wouldn’t have saved me from those spikes, so, thanks, uh…Rainbow Dash?”
“You’re welcome!” the winged cyan pony replied, happy to finally get some gratitude.
“But I need that suit, so if you all would kindly show me where it is?” Lauren asked, beginning to relax now that formalities were out of the way and these ponies definitely didn’t seem to be a threat. “Then I’ll be out of your hair…manes? Drat, Discord’s probably halfway across the country by now.”
“Discord’s still in Ponyville,” the purple unicorn told her. “He’s been turning the place upside-down—literally. In fact, I think he might even be looking for you—”
“Not anymore!” Discord laughed, discarding his invisibility at last. “Oh, Lauren, you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do that! And finally, the perfect moment—and you’re even naked! This is just priceless!”
“Discord!” the lavender unicorn shouted angrily as she sprang between Lauren and the draconequus in a defensive stance. “How did you find us?!”
“Find you?!” Discord was laughing so hard that tears were streaming from his eyes. “I never lost you! I turned invisible and followed little miss multicolor here all the way back to this crappy cottage!”
“No you didn’t, silly!” the pink pony gleefully stated the opposite of the obvious. “We saw you out there turning Ponyville all topsy-turvy for most of the afternoon—
“Afternoon?!” Lauren exclaimed. “It was morning when I tracked Discord here. I’ve been out that long?”
“—and that’s why we hid here at Fluttershy’s house till the princess told us what to do or Lauren here came to!” the pink pony finished, giggling at her unintentional rhyme. 
“That was an illusion, a doppelgänger, Pinkie Pie,” Discord explained as if talking to a small, slow child. “I’ve been waiting here the whole time!”
“Then why did you wait till now to show yourself?!” the purple unicorn demanded. “If you knew where she was all along, then why didn’t you do anything against her, or for that matter, us? Or did you forget how we stopped you last time? Come to think of it…how did you get out again, anyway? Last time I saw you, you were as stony as your heart!”
“You flatter me, Twilight Sparkle,” Discord said, assuming a dramatic pose. “But contrary to what you misguided little ponies think, there’s more than one way to escape petrification, and there are threats besides the Elements of Harmony. Besides, killing little Lauren here in her sleep would’ve ended the fun! She’s quite fun to mess with, you know! I mean, just look at her! Her face is as red as her hair! Humans are so strange, they actually feel embarrassed when seen without their clothes on, though that cover seems to be making a worthy substitute—let’s change that, shall we?”
With a snap of his fingers, Discord turned the blanket separating Lauren from the rest of the room into a writhing python that instantly coiled around her and went for the Agent’s neck.
“Not so fast!” Discord called out, and the snake stopped just as soon as it had started, waiting for further orders. With another snap of his fingers Discord was sitting comfortably in a cushiony chair, throwing popcorn to himself with glee. “Alright, continue, but rather than just poison her, let’s see her squeezed to death! I want to see her eyes bulge until they pop out!”
The python happily complied, coiling itself tighter around Lauren’s defenseless, but thankfully at least now fully covered, form. 
“At least I can die modestly,” the Agent muttered under her breath.
“Indeed you can, but die you will!” Discord laughed.
“No!” the lavender unicorn, Twilight Sparkle, according to Discord, called. “Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, free our new friend from that snake! Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, you’re with me! Let’s get Discord!”
“Get me?” Discord chuckled. “Oh, this is just too much. What are you going to do, steal my popcorn?”
“My…uniform…there’s…a can of…thinner…” Lauren managed to get out as the snake further constricted her lungs. 
“Right!” Twilight nodded. “Stuff in your uniform that’s useful against Discord, got it!”
With a flash of her horn, the unicorn made Lauren’s discarded uniform appear from across the room while the white unicorn, the pink featureless pony, and the orange, freckled, Stetson-wearing pony that hadn’t spoken yet launched themselves at the snake, biting and pulling at it with all their might. Lauren felt the snake unconstrict somewhat, and gasped in a welcome breath of air.
“So you really do want to kill me?” Lauren managed to get out between breaths. “I pegged you for a ‘fate-worse-than-death’ kind of guy?” 
“With you, I can’t afford to take any chances,” Discord said, snapping his fingers as Twilight finally found the can of thinner in Lauren’s uniform only to have it disappear with a flash of the chimaera's magic. “The others were easier, they followed the Bureau’s rules exactly. With you, it’s a little tougher.”
“Others?” Lauren wondered. “What are you talking about?”
“Oops, I’ve said too much,” Discord slapped a paw to his mouth in mock-fright. “Now I really, REALLY have to kill you.”
“Give us back that can, Discord!” Twilight demanded, stamping her hoof and snorting angrily at the chimaera. 
“If you knew what was in it, my dear Twilight, you would’ve thanked me for taking it away from you,” Discord lazily smirked. “Which reminds me…let’s remove your precious Element helpers, shall we? They’re slowing my poor snake down!”
Discord made with the magic again, and this time all the ponies but Twilight were levitated in the air, unable to reach the floor, each other, or anything else. 
Lauren gasped for breath as she felt the snake, now unhindered once more, retighten its iron grip on her lungs. 
“There’s…can…in…uniform…” Lauren rasped, her eyes actually starting to bulge out this time, much to Discord’s delight. 
“Don’t try to confuse the poor filly,” Discord laughed. “Lauren, you know as well as I do that the Bureau only allows one can of thinner per Agent!”
“Different…can…”
“Different can?” Twilight echoed, riffling furiously through Lauren’s uniform once again. “Got it!”
Twilight held up a dented, bent old tin can.
“Now, now,” Discord snapped, ripping the can out of Twilight’s mouth and levitating it to himself. “Can’t have any heroic escapes, now can we?”
Popping the lid off the can, Discord peered warily inside to find—
“Spinach?!” the draconequus laughed heartily. “You’ve got to be kidding me! If your last request is a can of old leafy greens, then be my guest!”
Discord tossed the can disinterestedly back to Twilight, who rushed frantically over to Lauren, clawed her way up the snake, and poured the spinach into Lauren’s mouth. With her last few breaths, Lauren chewed furiously, then forced a swallow. 
Suddenly, the snake began to shudder and shake, wobbling uncontrollably.
“Oh, what’s this?” Discord wondered with slight concern.
The python suddenly exploded off of Lauren and shot towards Discord, wrapping around his face into a neat bow and ribbon. 
Lauren stood there, brandishing her arms, which had grown in size and sported new muscles that would make an Olympic weightlifter shudder with fear.
“I’m tough to the finish,” Lauren spat at Discord, her arm stretching impossibly long as it reached over to snag her uniform. 
“Cause I eats my spinach,” Lauren continued, whirling around faster than the human, pony, or draconequus eye could follow. When the Agent abruptly stopped, a blast of wind flung Discord, and only Discord, back against the wall. 
“Like Popeye the Sailor Man!” Lauren finished as the fully clothed, armed to the teeth, and gigantically-muscled Agent advanced slowly towards Discord, who was still stuck to the wall as the python knotted to his head had gotten tangled up in a coatrack. 
Discord gulped. 

> Chapter 3
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 3	
Lauren darted forward and jabbed the teleportation ring onto Discord’s writhing form.
“NO!” the draconequus wailed as the flashing lights of the device engaged, whirred to life, and with a flash noticeably free of the chimaera’s magic, Discord was gone.
In his place was something twice as scary. 
. . .
“Ah, Discord, welcome back. It seems we have a new member of the Senior Circle after all.”
“Fine, you got your stupid new recruit, now get this thing off of me! I am a creature of chaos, and we DON’T like to be imprisoned!”
“Duly noted, Discord. However, I’m afraid that your usefulness is at an end.”
“What?! What are you talking about?! I did everything you ever forced me—oh, excuse me, I did everything you ever ‘kindly asked’ of me!”
“Indeed you did, Discord, but Agent Lauren was the final recruit needed to execute the next phase of our plan. And you know I can’t have you running loose in the worlds. A creature of your power is far too likely to complicate matters regarding our cause.”
“What?! No, you can’t do this—”
“I’m afraid it’s necessary Discord. But don’t worry, even an immortal like you won’t have to suffer long, after we’re finished. In the meantime, it’s back to the Box—”
“NO!”
“—and I have a new Senior Agent to congratulate. Until next time, Discord, if there is one. And, if we’re successful, there won’t be.”
. . .
“Director?!” Lauren gasped, unable to believe what her eyes were telling her brain. 
“Greetings, Agent Lauren Faust,” replied the only other human the ponies had ever seen, though they immediately decided that they liked this one considerably less than they did Lauren. “Or, should I say, SENIOR Agent Lauren Faust?”
“S-senior…?”
The newcomer smiled, and the room seemed to grow a little darker as a result.
“You see, Lauren—”
“Hey Lauren, who’s this guy?” interjected Rainbow Dash, hovering over to inspect the short, shriveled bald man in a black suit. The Director didn’t so much as flinch as the pegasus pony leaned in to look him in the eye. Not liking what she saw, and understandably so, she quickly darted away. 
The Director blinked, making all the ponies flinch.
“He’s the Director of the Animation Bureau,” Lauren breathed, awed at the sight of him. The Agent had never actually seen him in person, only his signature on official documents and his speeches on the importance of inter-world regulation on telecasts. 
“The Director?” Twilight wondered aloud. “You mean, he’s in charge of the organization you work for?”
“Indeed I am, Twilight Sparkle,” the Director answered for Lauren, though it was clear Twilight wished that Lauren had replied instead. 
“Wait—how do you know my name?” the lavender unicorn inquired suspiciously. “And how did you get in here, anyway?”
“The teleportation rings, which Agent Lauren used to send Discord to a Detention Center on Earth, can go both ways. When he teleported out, I teleported in. As to how I knew your name, dear unicorn, the Bureau has actually known about the existence of your world for some time, though it was kept a secret from most. We always scope out our testing grounds in advance.”
“Testing grounds?” Lauren echoed, confused herself this time. “What do you mean, sir?”
“You see, Agent Lauren,” the Director explained, leaning against the wall and causing cracks to appear in it despite his slight weight. “The Animation Bureau is more than what it appears to be in our propaganda.”
“Propaganda?”
“What else would you call it?” the Director went on. “True, on the surface the Animation Bureau does indeed carry out all of the services the government created it for—regulating inter-world traffic, incorporating new worlds into the portal networks, and overseeing all laws concerning Animated beings on the Earth. But that’s just a fraction of what we REALLY do.
“You see, Agent Lauren, the Animation Bureau is power. It is the power to control the flow of living beings between worlds, the power to choose which Animated life-forms are allowed to roam the Earth and which are locked away for as long as we wish. It is the power to control not just the Animated beings on Earth and the Earthlings in Animated worlds, but to control each world those very creatures hail from as well.
“The government is a shadow of what we at the Bureau are truly capable of. Soon, we will break free of them entirely and become the new government—of all the worlds we are in contact with, as well as all the worlds we ever discover. But even a new worlds order needs a ruling body in and of itself, and that’s where the Senior Circle comes in—composed of me and the other senior officers of the Bureau, which now includes you, Agent Lauren. Your catching Discord was the final test, and you passed.
“So what do you say, Ms. Faust?”
The room was dead silent. 
“You want me to join you…in a plot to rule Earth and the Animated worlds?” Lauren concisely summarized what she had just heard.
“Indeed I do, Agent Lauren,” the Director smiled, causing the lights in the room to flicker once more.
“And you unleashed a dangerous convict on an innocent Animated world just to see if I was ‘worthy’ of this plan?” Lauren whispered.
“It was necessary to see if you were indeed Senior Circle material, and you passed all of our considerably high expectations with flying colors.”
All eyes were on Lauren now. 
“L…Lauren?” squeaked a high-pitched voice that almost rose above the scope of human hearing despite how lightly it was spoken. All eyes suddenly turned to Fluttershy in the far corner of the room, as far from the Director as possible. “You’re not going to be an evil dictator, are you…?”
“No, My Little Pony,” Lauren said with equal parts comfort towards the creamy pegasus and defiance towards the Director. “No, I’m not.”
“I’m sorry to say I am very disappointed Lauren,” the Director shook his head sadly. Everyone—especially Lauren—noticed the absence of ‘Agent’ from his address of the young woman. “You have so much potential, and you could’ve been so useful to us.”
“You don’t get it, do you?” Lauren spat, quivering with a growing rage. “You’re just a bully, bloodthirsty for power. But it’s not about power. It’s about how you USE IT!”
Lauren launched into a high-flying karate kick that would’ve made Goku proud, her foot on a split-second collision course for the Director’s face…
…Which wasn’t there when she arrived.
“Lauren, did you really think I’d come so unprepared? That I was so weak and slow as to fall at the first sign of defiance?” the Director uttered disapprovingly. “I’m not just some pencil-pushing bureaucrat elected to office, dear child. I was selected by the president herself because of my past experience as an AGENT.”
Suddenly the roof of the cottage was ripped off, showering debris down on all assembled in the room formerly beneath it. A massive, dark hand crushed the remains of the roof in its shadowy claws, while the hand’s twin curled into a fist and soared down into the bedroom. The yellow eyes of the monster watched in silent, unemotional observance as its fist buried itself through the cottage and deep into the earth beneath. 
“What’s THAT?!” Twilight gasped, looking up in horror as the thing, noticing it its prey had fled to the sides of the room rather than become buried under its crushing claws, retracted its arm and prepared for a second swipe. 
“It’s Chernabog!” Lauren yelled over the sound of collapsing cottage as she and the ponies began to slide into the gaping hole the monster had punched in what used to be Fluttershy’s house. “The Director must have copied his Animation scheme and used some kind of shape-shifting technique!”
“It’s wonderful that you can figure that out and all, darling,” Rarity called from across the remains of the room, her grip on the curtains slipping as she too tottered over the edge of the chasm. “BUT HOW DOES THAT HELP US TO NOT BE SQUISHED?!”
“It won’t,” Lauren called back, but THIS will!”
Lauren reached into her pocket (larger on the inside) and withdrew her most prized possession. At first glance, it looked like a flat piece of congealed tar. At second glance, it still looked like a flat piece of congealed tar, and it would probably always look that way no matter how many times it was glanced at.
But there was something slightly ‘off’ about its appearance all the same, as for one thing, it didn’t reflect a single shimmer of light. Nor did it emanate any sound, even when Lauren stretched it wide with both her hands and her teeth. In fact, if anything, the thing-that-looked-like-tar-but-wasn’t seemed to be getting bigger, making more of itself without getting any thinner or even transparent, blatantly giving the bird to Einstein’s Law of Conservation of Matter and Energy…or, did it?
For the thing, instead of making more of itself, was actually making LESS of everything else. It wasn’t, in fact, a THING at all, but the exact opposite. It was nothing. 
“Catch this!” Lauren yelled, tossing one end of the not-thing to Rarity at the other end of the room and then proceeding to do the same to the other ponies with other corners of the absence of matter.
“Whoa, it’s all squishy!” called Rainbow Dash, catching it with her front hooves while hovering in the air. 
“And it feels simply awful!” Rarity wailed. “It’s like I’m not touching anything at all!”
“That’s because you AREN’T touching anything at all,” Twilight breathed, a look of awed realization dawning on her face. “I can’t believe it! This is only theoretical magic at best!”
“According Calvin Q. Calculus, it’s a best seller!” Lauren called to the purple unicorn. “Now, get IN it!”
“WHAT?!” Rarity screamed.
“I’m not getting in there, it’s cold and dark and scary!” Fluttershy whimpered. 
“It’s either that or be squashed flat by THAT!” Lauren shouted, pointing up to where the Director, still in the form of Chernabog, had seen and instantly recognized what the black non-substance was. 
“That’s impossible!” the monster roared as his hand came slamming down again, each claw extended so that they would slice open Lauren and at least four of the ponies surrounding the hole in the floor as well as the one they held in their hands and hooves. “That item was not allowed on this mission!”
“I always keep a Portable Hole on hand,” Lauren smirked. “It was a gift from an old... friend of mine!”
And with that, Lauren slipped into the nothingness, followed swiftly by the ponies as they saw what awaited them if they didn’t follow suit, and the hole collapsed in on itself into nonexistence. Which is, to say, that it allowed regular existence back into its proper place, leaving only Fluttershy’s collapsing cottage to be smashed even further by the Director’s rage at having let his quarry slip through his fingers. 
. . .
It was indeed cold on the other side, and dark, and especially scary as Fluttershy had said. The nothingness seemed to go on forever, but in reality it went on for no length at all, and in the blink of an endless span of time Lauren and the ponies landed on a hardwood floor.
Hard.
“Ow!” screamed Rainbow Dash. “My wings! Get off me!” 
“It was SO dark!” Fluttershy wailed, burying her face in her hooves as she sobbed almost comically. 
“That was FUN!” Pinkie Pie laughed. “Let’s do it again!”
From the midst of the dog pile—pony and human pile?—Lauren burst like a breaching dolphin. 
“Hey, watch it, cowpoke!” Applejack complained, rubbing a sore spot on her noggin, which Lauren had conveniently used as a springboard in her escape from the pile. 
“Oh, this is bad, this is bad, bad, bad…” Lauren muttered to herself, walking across the dark room the septet had landed in. Reaching a cupboard, Lauren hastily began pulling out the drawers and dumping their contents onto the floor. Not to be unexpected by this point, many of the drawers seemed to have held more than could’ve possibly fit into them. “And now there’re innocents involved! Scratch that, everyone in every world we're in contact with is involved! This could compromise everything!”
“That was incredible!” Twilight laughed, picking herself off the floor. “inter-world travel! I never thought I would be among the first ponies to experience such advanced magic!”
“Lauren said it wasn’t magic anyway,” Pinkie Pie pointed out. “She said it was called psy-ents!” 
“What’s she doing, anyway?” Rainbow Dash wondered, jumping into the air and zooming over to see the piles of items Lauren was accumulating around her. “Whoa, you got a lot of stuff! What’s this thing do?”
“Don’t touch that!” Lauren gasped, darting forward when she saw what the cyan flier had picked up from the stash, but of course it was too late. The large Animated hammer in Rainbow’s hooves opened up at one end and out shot a boxing glove on a spring, effectively knocking the pegasus against the wall so hard she saw stars, which orbited her head for a few moments while Dash reoriented herself. 
“Are all these horrid things…weapons?” Rarity asked, trotting up to inspect the peculiar items, though with a tad more caution than Rainbow Dash had used. 
“They’re the result of a life-time of accumulating Animated paraphernalia, some useless and some extremely handy in the operation I’m about to undertake,” Lauren explained, though she was only half-paying attention as she rifled through the scattered junk. “Most of them were gifts from my family, back before…well, from a long time ago.”
“Back before what?” Rainbow Dash inquired curiously, only to receive a punch  in the side from Fluttershy. “Hey, what was that for?”
“Can’t you tell she doesn’t want to talk about it?” Fluttershy scolded. “She’s sorry, Lauren, Rainbow just doesn’t always think before talking.”
“I do too!” Dash exasperated. “And if she didn’t want to talk about it, then she shouldn’t have brought it up!”
“Aha! Found it!” Lauren exclaimed, holding up what appeared to be a satchel filled with different whistles, each having their own separate mini-holster. Strapping it on, Lauren then proceeded to add this and that to her Agent uniform, ending the ensemble with a carrot she stuck into her side pocket so that it stuck out like a loaded gun, waiting for action. 
“What’s with all them whistles, sugar cube?” Applejack asked. “And why are y’all jumpy-like?”
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe it’s due to the fact that in addition to having to go up against the Director of the most powerful government organization on the planet and stopping him from trying to take over all worlds Earth is connected to, I let outsiders into our home AND got innocents tangled up in my mess!”
Lauren paused for a moment to catch her breath, then seemed to cool off a bit.
“I mean, I’m sorry,” the former Agent sighed. “I just, things were going so well, and now everything’s…”
“BUBAR?” Rainbow Dash suggested. “Bucked Up Beyond All Recognition?” 
“Yes, that,” Lauren agreed with a wry smile. “Now all of you are involved in this, and it’s all my fault. You can’t return to your home world or this so-called ‘Senior Circle’ will arrest you on sight just for having anything to do with me. If the Director has his way, I’ll be dead and you all will be tortured for information before being thinned out of existence. It’s not an understatement that your lives will never be the same after this. I am very, very sorry…”
Lauren cut herself off, her voice cutting into a soft whisper before all remaining illusion of calm broke down and the rogue Agent sat down on the cupboard and began to cry. 
“Oh, don’t be upset Lauren!” Fluttershy said comfortingly, flying over to the young woman and landing beside her on the cupboard before draping a wing around Lauren’s shoulder. “There, there. Don’t worry! This isn’t the first time we’ve been in a bad situation! Besides, you’re not alone in this! You’ve got your friends to help you!”
“All I ever wanted to do in this life was help the Animated, because that’s all they ever did for me when all humanity just did the opposite…” Lauren sobbed quietly. “And now I’ve endangered every Animated being who’s ever been in contact with me! Wait…what friends? All of my friends are back in their home worlds obliviously awaiting their doom, and my family’s all…well…”
Lauren looked up at the ponies surrounding her, their consoling smiles beaming up at the toughened rogue Agent. 
“You mean you guys?” Lauren sniffed, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. “But, I just met you, and I’m the one who got you all into this!” 
“That don’t matter none, sugar cube!” Applejack insisted. “Just because you’re a new friend instead of an old friend don’t make no difference! Friends stick together!”
“That’s right!” Rainbow Dash agreed. 
“Certainly!” Rarity added. 
“You betcha!” Pinkie joined in.
“Of course we’ll help,” Fluttershy smiled.
“Besides,” Twilight finished. “It wasn’t your fault any of this happened. Just because this Director was evil didn’t mean you knew about it! It’s not your fault that we just happened to be around when he revealed his scheme and attacked you, but it was you who saved us all from him!”
“Yeah, Lauren! You rock!” Rainbow Dash heartily thanked the former Agent. “I’ve saved a few ponies’ lives in my time as the local town hero—”
The other ponies coughed rather loudly at this.
“—But none of the them have ever been able save my life back, especially right after I saved theirs!” Rainbow finished.
“You all mean it?” Lauren smiled, genuinely this time.
“Do we have to spell it out for you?” Pinkie Pie laughed. “We’re your friends now, through thick and thin! We’ve taken on big meanies before! We’ve fought dragons, diamond dogs, Ursa Majors, Nightmare Moon and even Discord! We’ll help you take down this Director doody-head too!”
“I…I don’t know what to say,” Lauren said graciously. “I’ve never had friends so willing to help me with my own problems, even when it shouldn’t have involved them in the first place… Thank you. Now…
“Let’s get that Director!”  

> Chapter 4
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 4
“Hold still!” 
“I can’t see!”
“Quiet or they’ll catch us!”
“Uh, guys?” Lauren chuckled. “You’re all in disguise, and we aren’t even at the Bureau yet. You don’t have to hide from the general populace of Hollywood, especially not in a potted plant at the mall.”
“Oh, sorry,” Twilight laughed, embarrassed. “It’s just that this is our first real reconnaissance mission, and it’s so exciting! It’s just like one of my novels!”
“Yeah, like Daring Do sneaking into Ahuizotl’s secret lair to retrieve some priceless ancient magical thingamajig!” Rainbow Dash added enthusiastically. “This is gonna be awesome!”
“I’m sure it will, but for now you’re getting more looks hiding than you would be if you just walked down the street like the rest of the nine million people in LA,” Lauren explained—again. “Half of hiding in an urban setting is blending in with the populace. Act like everyone else is acting, and nobody will pay you much attention.”
“Really?” Fluttershy asked hopefully. “If I had known that, I would’ve acted like everypony else years ago!”
“Not to the extent that you lose your own identity, mind you,” Lauren laughed again. “But seriously, if we’re going to get to the Bureau before nightfall, then we can’t have you ponies hopping from hiding place to hiding place!”
Lauren sighed, but smiled at the same time. It was great to have friends who truly wanted to help her, it really was—but the ponies had a lot to learn before they fit in on Earth. From the moment the group had geared up and stepped out through another Portable Hole linking Lauren’s Safe House on a cliff overlooking Paradise Falls, South America, to a shady back room in an abandoned warehouse in Los Angeles, California, the ponies had been overawed at the sheer size and diversity of Earth life. So much, in fact, that they stood out like a sore thumb—er, hoof—with a neon sign saying “I AM CONSPICUOUS!”
“Okay, Lauren, if you say so,” Fluttershy said uncertainly. Apparently the idea of never being noticed again quite appealed to the pony. Lauren made a mental note to get her some of ACME’s Invisible Ink... or maybe just a confidence boost.
The group continued their trek through the mall shortcut Lauren had directed them down after herding the ponies out from the middle of the street, where the mares hadn’t known to not try and avoid cars—causing a major traffic jam when the group attempted to cross the boulevard. The revving automobiles still scared Fluttershy, and Lauren had no doubt that the little pony would probably have nightmares about them for years to come.
But enough of the inconveniences of introducing Animated beings from an unconnected world to Earth—they had a mission to complete. 
Walking out with the crowd of humans and Animated beings alike into the bright California sun on the other side of the mall, the group was assaulted by the glaring heat of the summer sky…and the skyline-dominating form of the Animation Bureau.
Towering above the group, the Bureau looked like an Escher drawing on acid mixed with a bit of Alice in Wonderland for good measure. The Bureau claimed that the bizarre design of their headquarters was a result of all the Animated radiation the facility had to deal with, being the governing body on all Animated-and-Earth related affairs and all, but Lauren knew better. The design, which never looked the same twice, even between blinks, was tricky in order to dissuade and confound anyone who tried to break in and make-off with the facility’s extensive array of top-secret files, portal technology, and the world’s only Maximum Security Detention Center for the Animated. Only the worst of the worst were kept there, and woe was Earth should they ever escape.
Lauren gulped, thinking how her new friends would probably be locked up in torture cells down there in the Bureau’s basement with the rest of the criminal scum were she to have left them behind, unprotected, in Equestria. Then again, Lauren WAS now taking them right into the heart of that very facility anyway, even if the mares were disguised as various species of Pokémon. There were so many of the pocket monsters, with new ones being discovered all the time, that Lauren knew even the Animation Bureau couldn’t keep track of them all—including the ones the ponies were disguised as. 
But that didn’t exactly make it easier for the human to lead her new friends into what could very well be, if those disguises somehow failed, a deathtrap. 
Lauren gulped, wondering what she had gotten these poor innocents into.
“You alright, Lauren?” Applejack wondered, a concerned look on her face. “You look right nervous!”
“I’m fine, AJ,” Lauren said quickly, composing herself so that none of the other ponies could see the fear in her eyes. “Just…be careful in there, okay?”
“You can count on us, Lauren!” Applejack affirmed. “Don’t worry about us!”
The group strode—and trotted—through the front doors of the Bureau to see the impossibly large room (like most things related to the Animation Bureau, it was bigger on the inside) that served as a reception area. Human clerks saw to humans and Animated beings alike trying to access information or paperwork from the Bureau, such as the proper forms required to have an Animated being in one’s employment or inter-world passes. Lauren looked longingly at the single line for the latter item. Even though she travelled through the portals nearly every day as an Agent—or at least, Lauren had back when she had still been an employee—civilian travel was expensive and only the rich could really afford it. Lauren had been saving up the money to buy passes for some very special civilians, but now that she had gone rogue and was in the eyes of the corrupted Bureau a criminal, that life-long dream to see some of her only true friends on Earth return to their home worlds was dashed forever…unless she could reveal the Director for what he really was.
“Gosh darn-it, this place is BIG!” Applejack marveled, looking so far up at the ceiling that she fell backwards. 
“Some of the inner-levels are like labyrinths,” Lauren agreed. “People have gotten lost in there and never seen again. The fact that in addition to being bigger on the inside the Bureau is constantly changing didn’t help the search parties, who presumably became equally lost.”
“This place is scary,” Fluttershy commented, suddenly darting to hide from whoever might be looking behind Lauren’s legs. 
“Are you kidding?!” Rainbow Dash laughed. “This place is AMAZING! I could fly around in here forever and never see the same place twice!” 
“I know, isn’t it so invigorating?” Twilight agreed. “There must be so much magic at work here, I could spend a lifetime studying it all!”
“And I must admit,” Rarity added. “Though I initially found thought the concept of a constantly changing building reminded me a little too much of a certain tacky draconequus, the possibilities for a new architectural style everyday are very intriguing!”
“I think it’d be the perfect place to throw a PARTY!” Pinkie Pie announced, jumping in the air. Due to the complete mockery of physics at work in the Bureau (or perhaps simply the complete mockery of physics that was Pinkie Pie), the pink party pony floated down much slower than she had jumped up, like a feather falling through thick air.
“All of that will have to wait for another day,” Lauren instructed the team, trying to keep her new friends focused. “Remember, we’re not here to sight-see—we’re here on a mission!”
“Right,” the ponies suddenly stood at attention, saluting. The display was quite surprisingly impressive coming from Animated ponies, or at least it would’ve been if Pinkie hadn’t fallen over in the attempt.
Lauren couldn’t tell whether to laugh or simply perform the act she had heard the ponies refer to as a ‘facehoof.’
“Alright, then—everyone have their ‘special’ ID’s?” Lauren asked, and was rewarded to see each pseudo-Pokémon hold out the fake security passes she had had a contact of hers make for the occasion. How they managed to hold the cards in their hooves was another matter entirely, but in her long experience of working with the Animated she had learned that it was best not to think too much about it. Every Bureau worker heard the stories of the scientists who’s heads had literally exploded from combinations of too much Animated radiation exposure and too much dwelling on how Animated beings could stand in the air after walking off a cliff as long as they didn’t realize they had done so by looking down. “Good. Let’s go!”
Lauren marched towards one of the many employee doors that led to the workstation areas of the Bureau, the ponies following in a line behind her. Swiping her own counterfeit card through the security scanner, Lauren held her breath, but the scanner blinked green and the door clicked open, allowing her to pass. Lauren let out a relieved sigh and passed through, the others following shortly after.
The workstations and offices and portal hangars of the Bureau were all linked by a series of seemingly endless (and given the nature of the Bureau, ‘endless’ wasn’t entirely impossible) hallways. No physical accurate map of the Bureau had ever been made, or at least not one that had been accurate for more than five seconds. The Bureau was constantly changing, and any maps would have to change with them—and so the APS’ were invented. One of Professor Von Drake’s many inventions to be counted among the Bureau’s impressive Animated arsenal, the Animated Positioning Systems were small handheld boxes that vaguely resembled square mixes of cellphones and miniature televisions.
Lauren picked up one of the APS units from the shelf opposite the employee entrance and motioned for the ponies did the same.
“What’s this doohickey?” Applejack inquired, holding hers up for inspection.
“It looks like one of the TV things you humans use to watch us in our worlds,” Rainbow Dash observed. “That ‘watching us’ thing still gives me the creeps, by the way.”
“I don’t blame you,” Lauren said. “These are special devices that can lead you almost anywhere in the Bureau you want to go, so be careful not to lose them. Getting lost is pretty easy in the Bureau, but getting found is very hard.”
“But how’s a little black box supposed to tell us where to go?” Twilight wondered, holding hers up to her face with her telekinesis as if she could read it like one of her books. 
“Just press the button at the bottom and you’ll see—but only one of you activate your boxes,” Lauren told them. “These extras are just in case we get separated; we’re going to the same place, so we really only need one.”
“Okey-dokey-loki!” Pinkie exclaimed, jabbing her APS’ button. Instantly the screen sprang to life, filled with the image of an elderly bespectacled duck with an excited look in his eyes.
“Are we recording?” Asked the duck, his voice coming out of the box. “Right now?”
“Whoa!” Rainbow Dash jumped back. “It really IS like a TV!”
“Yes, we’re recording, say your lines!” said another voice in the background whose owner wasn’t in the view of the screen. 
“Hello there,” the duck announced to the screen. “I am Professor Von Drake, one of the head scientists here at the Animation Bureau. You are now holding a Von Drake-brand Animated Positioning Locator. Simply tell the device where you want to go, and a map will appear on the screen while directions are told to you by yours truly. Keep in mind that some levels and rooms of the Bureau require a special security pass, while some levels and rooms are deliberately left out of the mapping program.”
Professor Von Drake’s image stopped moving for a moment, as if waiting for something. 
“What’s it doing now?” Twilight asked.
“It’s not doing anything!” Pinkie announced. “He’s just standing there, looking at me all creepy.”
“We’d like to go to the VG Department, Professor,” Lauren told the box.
“Righty-ho, then!” Professor Von Drake suddenly announced, causing all the ponies to leap back. “Please walk forward, and then take the first left…”
“This way!” Lauren motioned, and the ponies eagerly followed her, not wanting to get lost in this maze of Animation. 
“Hey Lauren,” Twilight, ever inquisitive, spoke up. “What’s the ‘VG Department?’”
“You see,” Lauren explained as the group rounded another bend, this time walking from what looked like a hallway one would find in the Flintstone’s house into one that appeared to be made entirely of cheese. “The Animation Department’s main goal—or at least, the main goal it’s SUPPOSED to have—is to oversee anything to do with the portals. The facility is called the Animation Bureau because the first worlds we encountered were cartoons that we’d already seen, but had never thought it possible to venture into. After that, the general thought was that only Animated worlds could be reached through the portals, until the Research Department discovered alternate kinds of worlds. These worlds were quite different from the Animated universes, and so they got their own Department to be studied and overseen by. The VG field is still relatively young compared to Animation, and only a few VG worlds have yet been found, but whatever comes out of a VG world falls under the VG Department’s jurisdiction.”
“But what does ‘VG’ stand for?” Twilight wanted to know.
“Oh, sorry,” Lauren apologized. “I keep forgetting you guys don’t know about Earth’s popular culture. ‘VG’ stands for—”
“Well it’s about f***in’ TIME!!!!” shouted an angry voice as Lauren and the ponies rounded the final corner to see a tall, skinny, glasses-wearing young man in a button-up white shirt and dress pants. “I’ve been waiting here for like four f***in’ hours, Lauren! Not to mention that your whole ‘plan’ sounds like a s***load of f***ed-up craziness!”
“Who is THAT?!” Fluttershy screamed, nearly having a heart attack and darting behind Lauren’s legs for safety again.
“And how is he doing those things with his mouth?” Rainbow wondered. “We can’t do that back in Equestria, but it sounds like it would be cool if we could!”
“Rainbow!” Rarity, gasped, clearly appalled. “I don’t know what that human is uttering, but it certainly sounds like the most vulgar of offenses!”
“Uh, hello!” Rainbow Dash laughed. “That’s what makes it so cool!”
“Nice to see you too, James,” Lauren smiled. “I’m sorry we couldn’t have met under better circumstances. 
“Yeah, well it’s not like I didn’t see this coming,” James sighed. “I’ve thought that a***hole Director guy was creepy as f*** for years, but of course, NOBODY listens to the nerd!”
“I do,” Lauren said, embracing the youth, whose quivering rage seemed to disappear momentarily as he returned the hug. “Why else would you be the only one I trust with this information?”
“You mean he knows about the Director?!” Twilight exclaimed. “I thought you said there was nopony we could trust!”
“Well f*** you too, a**hole!” James spat.
“You’d better watch the way you talk to my friends!” Rainbow threatened, dashing up to stare the self-proclaimed nerd in the face. “Even if the way you talk is way-awesome!”
“Nopony—I mean, nobody—but Mr. James Rolfe here,” Lauren said. “Everyone, meet the VG Department’s number-one scientist!”
“How many times do I have to tell you, I’m only the assistant manager of the division!” James insisted, though it was clear he was pleased with the compliment. 
“James and I go way back to the Animation Bureau training courses,” Lauren explained. “He’d never betray us. James, these are my new friends and currently the rest of the resistance against the Director, besides you. You were right, after all.”
“I f***in’ told you so!” James laughed. “So what are you all supposed to be, a bunch of midget horses disguised as Digimon?” 
“That’s ‘pony’ to you, mister!” Rainbow corrected. “And we’re dressed up like Pokémon!”
“That explains it,” James chuckled. “Well, come on in. I have to warn you, though, the working conditions of the VG Department are a piece of s***, but it’s still home sweet f***in’ home.”
James pushed through the doors he had been standing in front of and led Lauren and the ponies inside the biggest room any of them had ever seen—if it could even be called a ‘room’ at all, for the VG Department was complete with blue sky, clouds, and even a shining sun…that had a face.
“Yee!” Fluttershy freaked. “The sun is WATCHING US!”
“It sure as f*** is,” James agreed. “Pretty much every f***in’ thing in the Mushroom Kingdom has eyes on it.”
“Mushroom Kingdom?” Twilight echoed. “I thought we were in the VG Department. And nopony has told me what ‘VG’ stands for yet!”
“The Mushroom Kingdom was moved to Earth from its home world to serve as a base of operations for the VG Department,” James explained, seeming to leave his profanities behind as he launched into lecture mode. “And ‘VG’ stands for Video Games.’”
“What’s a ‘video game?’” Pinkie Pie wondered aloud. 
“What…is…a…video…game…?” James suddenly stood stock still, and the others ran into the nerd in a line. “WHAT IS A VIDEO GAME?!”
“Oh, no,” Lauren sighed. “Here we go.”
“A video game is the single most f***in’ awesome thing ever created by mankind!” James exploded. “How can you not know what a VIDEO GAME is?!”
“Well, we didn’t exactly know what mankind was until earlier this morning,” Twilight pointed out.
“Simple things like purely reasonable facts are no excuse for you not to have any appreciation for the ambrosia of entertainment that is the video game!”
“Earth to James!” Lauren shouted in the nerd’s ear. “Less than .01% of all possible realities know what video games are, and you know it!” 
“And that’s precisely what I’m fighting against!” James protested. “The wide-spread ignorance of video games! Everyone should be able to enjoy these gifts!”
“But…that still doesn’t answer my question,” Pinkie Pie pointed out. 
“Allow me,” Lauren said. “If James here explains it it’ll take hours. 
“Hours wouldn’t begin to scratch the surface!” James insisted.
“Video games are a lot like cartoons—” Lauren began.
James snorted.
“—but are considered as a separate type of world because, for the most part, they follow separate rules of physics. All worlds have unique physics, but the physics of video game worlds have a more distinct quality than the vague guidelines of Animated worlds. For example, where Animated beings usually can’t die no matter how roughly they take a beating, video game beings can die. But, every time they die, they come back as if they had never died at all. It is for this and other reasons that beings from video game worlds are called Digital beings instead of Animated beings.”
“You mean they can die but never be dead?” Rainbow Dash whistled, amazed. “That’s super-awesome!”
“I wouldn’t say so,” Lauren cautioned. “It still hurts immensely each time they die, and Digitals can never actually rest in peace unless their entire world ends.”
“Has that ever happened?” Applejack gulped nervously. “And could it ever happen to an Animated world, like Equestria?”
“More times than we’d like to count,” Lauren admitted. “That’s why Agents exist—to make sure that inter-world relations don’t upset the balance of things. Beings who exist under one set of physics in a universe run by a completely different set of physics can lead to some rather large problems.”
“Then why let beings cross over into new worlds at all?” Rarity asked.
“Because those are rare cases, and more often than not assistance from the Animation Bureau has actually saved worlds from being destroyed by beings who already lived there,” Lauren explained. “For the most part, inter-world interaction is a good thing—it’s allowed medicine from one world to perform beneficial impossibilities in another, or evils who would, if left unchecked, ruin their own worlds, be stopped by an alliance of Animated beings and humans.”
“Wow,” Applejack breathed. “It sounds like a pretty good system—too bad Equestria couldn’t join it before this here Director feller messed things up for everypony.”
“But how are video games and Digitals supposed to help us take down the meanie-pants?” Pinkie wanted to know.
“That’s where James comes in,” Lauren said. “James?”
“Digital worlds are a fledgling science,” the nerd launched into lecture mode, surprisingly keeping it free of profanities. “So the Bureau still hasn’t figured out all that Digital beings and Digital equipment can do. There are still gaping holes in Bureau security that no Animated being or human can get past, but that the right Digital gear can blow into a billion pieces. I’ll be supplying you with an arsenal of Digital gadgets and whatnot that you can use to access the Top Secret Classified Don’t-Ever-Read-These-If-You-Want-To-Live Files.”
The ponies stared at the nerd for a moment.
“I’m f***in’ serious,” James insisted. “That’s what they’re called.”
“And what do we find in these fancy files?” Applejack questioned further.
“In the files we’ll find any personal records of this ‘Senior Circle’ and the Director himself,” Lauren finished the explanation. “And with the right information, we can expose to the rest of the government and the rest of the worlds what the Animation Bureau’s really up to.”
“All right then,” said Rainbow Dash, eager to get started on what she correctly assumed would be a daring mission. “Let’s see these Digital weapons, and then let’s take down the Director!”
“For Equestria!” shouted Twilight. 
“For video games!” shouted James.
“For all worlds everywhere!” added Lauren, playing along in the mood of the moment.
“For you all to stop shouting!” Fluttershy pleaded.
. . .

> Chapter 5
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 5
“Alright, we made it to the Upper Levels,” Lauren whispered, each of the group hurrying along a corridor that looked like it may have very well been made of several dozen mattresses tied together. Contrary to the general style of the corridor, though, was the large metal vault-like door the group was now facing at the hallway’s end. “Pinkie, you’re up!”
“Affirmative!” the pink party pony giggled, attempting to act militarily. Though Pinkie had been at the back of the line the group was travelling in, she suddenly appeared at the front, landing squarely on the four boots each of her hooves were snuggly encased in. And, though the Long-Fall Boots were handy for providing safe landings from any height, they were only a compliment to the gun-like object strapped to Pinkie’s head—a device that was almost as much a mockery to the laws of physics as Pinkie herself was. “And I gotta say, this Portal Gun thingy is super-duper fun!”
“That’s ‘Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device,’” scolded a metallic monotone emanating from a small yellow screen latched onto a potato stuck to the end of Pinkie’s gun. “And it is not for entertainment purposes—it is for testing and for science!”
“Whatever you say, Potados!” Pinkie smiled brightly, bouncing over to the control panel at the side of the secure door. 
“And for the last time, my name is Genetic Life-form and Disc Operating System, NOT Potados!” the potato-powered computer reprimanded. “If I was back in the Aperture Science Enrichment Center and hooked up to my real body, I’d be stuffing your mispronouncing lungs full of deadly neurotoxin right now!”
Lauren couldn’t help but chuckle. Pinkie’s banter with what James had claimed was a homicidal psycho supercomputer had started the moment the nerd had rigged up the Portal Gun to Pinkie’s head, fitting a trigger that she could fire by biting down on a bit attached to the gun. That homicidal psycho supercomputer had already been more than a little angry about being stuffed inside a potato, but connecting her to Pinkie Pie had been the final straw. For a supercomputer with terabytes of data at her disposal and a sole desire to inflict suffering and misery upon the weak biological life-forms she was forced to deal with, being strapped to the frizzy head of a nearly perpetually peppy pony was perhaps the worst possible fate imaginable.
But it WAS pretty funny for the rest of the group to listen to.
“Alright, GLaDOS,” Lauren spoke to the turbo tuber supercomputer, using her real name in an attempt to earn the killer’s cooperation. “Can you undo the locks for us? Surely an intelligence as vast as yourself should be able to override a few measly manmade security protocols.”
“Of course I can, you overweight monster!” GLaDOS snapped. “But if I do, what’s in it for me?”
“We’ll try to get you reinstated in this ‘Aperture Science Enrichment Center’ you keep talking about,” Lauren attempted to reason.
“Not good enough,” GLaDOS responded. “I always end up there eventually anyway.”
“Ooh, I know!” Pinkie announced. “We can throw you a party—”
“Pinkie, I don’t really think now is the best time to talk about your favorite activity,” Lauren cautioned, attempting to intervene before GLaDOS could get worked up again by the party pony. If Pinkie got the supercomputer riled up once more, this negotiation might never go anywhere.
“—with lots of cake!”
“Cake, did you say?” GLaDOS asked. “Very well, commencing unlocking procedure.”
“What?!” Lauren gasped, then nearly fell back laughing. Maybe Pinkie’s solution for everything being parties wasn’t such a bad thing after all. 
GLaDOS’ screen went dark for a moment, and the control panel began blinking crazily, before the door clicked open.
“Door unlocked,” GLaDOS announced, her screen lighting up once again. “And I expect that cake.”
“Don’t worry, we’ll all get cake once we complete this mission!” Pinkie assured her new friend. “We’re gonna have a ‘we saved all the worlds ever from the evil Director’ party! Right, Lauren?”
“Sure thing, Pinkie,” Lauren confirmed. 
The group slid past the door, which GLaDOS closed again to ensure that their presence went unnoticed. There were no security cameras within the Bureau, as what cameras saw and what was actually happening were often two very different things in the bizarre building—but there were plenty of guards, mostly Animated, who patrolled the hallways at random. So far, the group had thankfully encountered none of them.
That changed the instant the door clicked shut, and the group came face to face with a giant three-headed dog. Well, actually, three dogs with three heads each, each of which was snoring peacefully. 
“Oh, no,” Lauren whispered. “Whatever you do, don’t make a sound!”
“But you’re making a sound,” Pinkie pointed out.
“She means don’t make a sound after the sounds she made,” GLaDOS explained.
“Just be quiet!” Lauren hissed. 
“Yes ma’am!” Pinkie saluted. Then, realizing she had spoken, hastily corrected herself. “I mean, sorry I just spoke—oops, I did it again! I mean—”
“Pinkie!” the rest of the group snapped in unison.
Unfortunately, that very hiss was the final noise needed, and the central head of the central dog blinked open an eye.
“Hello, there, Mr. Sleepy Head!” Pinkie greeted, waving her hoof excitedly. “What’s your name?”
In a flash the dog was up, towering over the group as a low growl emanated from behind his sizeable fangs. The growl woke the other dogs, who reacted much the same way.
One of the dogs looked more realistic than the other two, though there was definitely still a hint of Animation about it. One was pure black with glowing red eyes and looked like the most terrifying of all, while the other was almost comical in appearance—two Rottweiler heads next to a poodle’s. 
“Grrrrroooowwwllllllllllll,” Pinkie imitated. “That’s a funny name!”
“Down!” Lauren shouted, grabbing the others, including Pinkie, and running forward to slide under the dogs. The snapping heads leaped for the group, but ended up turning them in somersaults and resulting in a three-dog knot. “Now, run!”
The group sped across the floor behind the dogs towards the door at the other end of the chamber. This door looked more like a service entrance, less secure than the one the group had just come through. It still had a card slot for access, but Lauren guessed that the Bureau thought anyone who could make it past the first door wouldn’t have been able to get past the dogs. 
“GLaDOS!” Lauren called. “Can you open this door too?”
“Yes, but I’ll need time,” the potato-powered computer said. “Time that I don’t think you life-forms have.”
GLaDOS had a point—the dogs were already untying themselves and, as the first launched free, it bolted into a full-out sprint towards Lauren and the ponies. 
“This door doesn’t look as strong as the first one,” Rarity spoke up. “Allow me!”
The fashionista crouched, and the cannon on her back rose on its robotic arm into a firing position before blasting a volley of pure green energy through the door.
“Mr. Rolfe wasn’t kidding when he said this thing packed a punch,” Rarity remarked, picking herself up off the ground from where the cannon had thrown her in its recoil. Thankfully the armor she was wearing prevented the unicorn from receiving so much as a bruise. “And the suit is so stylish—I’d like to meet this Samus Aran some day and thank her for lending us her suit! To think that it could morph itself to fit a pony just the same as a human!”
“Rarity, watch out!” Lauren called as the pony, whose blast had knocked her right into the path of the oncoming dogs, picked herself off the floor. 
Seeing the oncoming trio of Cerberuses, Rarity squealed and curled up into a tiny defensive ball, which thankfully initiated the command for the suit to transform into an armored sphere. When the first of the dogs reached it, instead of finding its next meal, it found a new toy—which it hastily leapt upon only to be dog-piled by the others as each fought over Rarity’s orb of safety. 
“Rainbow!” Lauren called as she signaled for the others to hop through the hole in the door. “Snag Rarity and let’s get out of here!”
“On it!” Rainbow saluted. Rainbow had always been a fast flier, able to take off from stationary positions to Mach speeds in less than ten-seconds flat. But despite that impressive track record, she wouldn’t have normally had the room in the relatively small enclosure the dogs were in to reach such speeds and end evade the canine’s teeth while rescuing Rarity. Thankfully, though, these were not ordinary times, and James had equipped her with an old friend’s nifty speed-boost: a glowing, golden ring.
Rainbow swooped into the fray and emerged almost before she had left with Rarity’s spheroid form in tow, the dogs still fighting with each other before they realized their new ball had been stolen. Growling angrily at this theft of a new toy, the three prepared to leap up to snatch Rainbow and Rarity out of the air even as they zoomed towards the exit. 
But, still able to see the outside world in her little ball, Rarity saw the danger and uncurled just in time to release a barrage of green fire down upon the dogs, whose singed fur quickly sent them scurrying to the opposite end of the room with their tails between their legs.
Rainbow and Rarity barreled through the hole in the door, landing none-too-gracefully on the carpet of the room beyond. 
“That was awesome!” Rainbow laughed after she had disentangled herself from Rarity. “Way past cool!”
“Isn’t that what the blue hedgehog said when he was teaching you how to use those rings?” Rarity inquired, a surreptitious look on her face. “He seemed to be saying the same thing about you.”
“Oh, shut up!” Rainbow blushed. 
“You know, it would be a lot less conspicuous if you hadn’t told him to ‘call you up next time he’s in Ponyville,’” Rarity chuckled. 
Rainbow simply turned away then to join the others, her cheeks as red as the crimson stripe in her mane at the mention of the handsome hedgehog who James had introduced her to to teach her how to use the power-ups. Even if he was a Digital instead of an Animated, Sonic HAD seemed to return her obvious interest in someone who shared her passion for speed.
“So, where are we now, Lauren?” Rainbow asked, completely ignoring Rarity—as well as the snickering glances of the other ponies.
“I think we actually made it to the Records Hall,” Lauren breathed. “We’re here—start looking for anything that has to do with the Director.”
The rest of the team fanned out amid the rows of filing cabinets that filled the room, but only when Rainbow Dash flew above the shelves did she see how far they stretched.
“Whoa!” the pegasus exclaimed. “This place goes on forever!”
“It very well may,” Lauren sighed. “To be totally honest, I’m not even sure where to start looking. I had thought that the Upper Levels Records Hall would be a little…smaller. The one in the Lower Levels is huge, but that’s because it’s supposed to cover literally everything the Bureau deals with. This Hall is supposed to be only the confidential papers—how could there be so many of them?”
“Maybe there aren’t…” Twilight wondered aloud. The rest looked at her quizzically. “I’ve been studying this Bureau since we got here, and while there isn’t as much magic involved as I’d hoped, it still exists pretty prevelantly. Maybe there’s some at work right here, right now…”
Twilight focused her own magical energy, probing the area for any signs of thaumaturgy. When she did find it, she was almost knocked over backwards by the sheer size of the spell. But, though it was powerful, the spell was shoddily put together, like the dam outside Ponyville. If she tweaked this bit, and pulled this bit out…
“There!” Twilight announced, and the illusion fell away to reveal a single filing cabinet in a seemingly infinite room that faded away into darkness on all sides. 
“How did you do that?” Lauren inquired in awe. “That was incredible!”
“It was a big spell, but nothing I couldn’t handle,” Twilight beamed proudly. “The illusion was set to hide the only real records in here with an endless supply of fake ones. We’d have never found the real ones with the fake ones in the way because they were set to rearrange themselves when nopony’s looking.”
Lauren thanked Twilight again before rushing over to the filing cabinet, pulling the drawers out one by one, and stuffing their contents of papers into the bottomless backpack she had brought along for just such an occasion. 
“This was actually a lot easier than I was expectin’ it to be,” Applejack commented. “All the same, somethin’ don’t feel right…”
“You have a keen intuition.”
The group whirled around to face none other than the Director himself, standing there as if he had been present the entire time. With the illusion and all, maybe he had.
“I’ve been expecting you, Ms. Faust,” the Director said in his chilling monotone. “And I have come to the conclusion that I must make you a final offer. Though my top Agents are tracking you even as we speak, not a one of them knows you’re here in their very headquarters. This proves what I had already suspected—that you are far too good to let go to waste. You could be so useful to me, Lauren. You would be my right-hand Agent, second-in-command in the new worlds order to come. Think about it—if you accept my offer, I’ll even spare the lives of your pony friends here.
“And I’ll also throw in an offer I know you can’t refuse.”
“What’s he talkin’ about, Lauren?” Applejack wondered, a hint of nervousness in her voice. “We know you’d never betray us for him, right?”
“Oh, I think Ms. Faust might even now be reconsidering her alliances,” the Director smiled, the darkness of the room seeming to creep inward as he did so. “Because she knows I know that she knows what I’m actually offering. Think about it, Lauren—their world would never even have to be touched. They could finally live in their peaceful homes, the oppressive Earth but a distant memory.”
Lauren looked uncertain for a moment.
“Lauren!” Fluttershy pleaded. “You can’t be serious! You can’t leave us!”
“So what do you say, Ms. Faust?” the Director went on. “Do you accept my offer?”
“I say that you’re offer is the thing I’ve worked for all these years in the Bureau. Something I’ve cried myself to sleep at night for not being able to provide,” Lauren spoke softly, avoiding the worried, watery looks in her new—and perhaps, soon to be old—friend’s eyes. “But I also know that if I accept your offer, I’ll never be able to look my family in the eyes again, nor will they be able to bear the sight of me. What you’re offering, Director, I would gladly take in a heartbeat—but not in the way you offer it. I would rather die than save my family only to be lost to them.”
“So be it,” the Director sighed in what in a normal person would’ve been sadness, but in his case was an emotion too horrible to describe in words. “Though know that I really don’t enjoy putting such potential to waste.”
The Director stretched a bit, then stretched some more, until he was shooting up in height. Wings sprouted from his side, and his face burst into an ugly mass of blazing green eyes and white fangs. With a hide black as midnight, Maleficent’s draconic form slammed its claws upon the ground before the group, making them shake with the resulting resounding rumble.
“Doesn’t this guy have any ideas of his own?!” Lauren spat. “Team! Retreat! Take evasive and defensive action!”
The ponies complied by scrambling, and Lauren herself repeated her trick with the dogs by running forward and sliding under the monstrosity. The other ponies met her on the other side, having gone either over or around, and leapt back through the hole in the door to the dog’s chamber. 
The dogs themselves, when they saw their evaders reenter their territory, were none too happy, and began running towards the group and snarling and barking, meter-high teeth chomping down through waves of foaming saliva. 
The dragon suddenly burst in through the wall behind the group before they had time to react to the dogs, who formed a solid wall of monsters on one side while the dragon cornered them from the other. 
“Oh, no,” Lauren whispered to herself, as all her nightmares about getting her friends killed—or worse—seemed about to come true. 
“Wait!” Twilight declared. “I know a dragon! Maybe we can reason with him!”
“Yeah, I don’t think that’s going to work Twilight,” Rainbow Dash remarked. “Does anyone have any ideas that involve something that could feasibly save our lives?”
“That’s it!” Lauren realized. “Rarity, charge up your blaster to its full power and aim it at the floor—” 
“But that’ll take at least five minutes!” Rarity protested. 
“Applejack, you keep back the Cerberuses,” Lauren continued. “James said your weapons were designed for mythological things. The rest of you, let’s stall the Director!”
“These double swords are nice and all,” Applejack commented as she trotted forward. “But I don’t see how they’re gonna take down a whole trio of trios!”
“James said those weapons were used to fell the gods of Olympus themselves,” Lauren called to her as she rushed the draconic Director with the other ponies, save Rarity, who was standing in the middle of the room looking nervous for her friends whilst her cannon charged up. “I’m sure they can take on a few oversized mutated mongrels!”
“If you say so,” Applejack said with determination. Shaking herself to undo the swords from her back, the orange earth pony began galloping towards the onrushing Cerberuses, the swords swinging out on enchanted chains connected to her as she did so. 
“Rainbow Dash, get him distracted!” Lauren instructed, and the blue pegasus complied by chomping down on another glowing golden ring and zooming off at super speed to swirl around the dragon. Maleficent’s form was built for strength, not speed, so though Rainbow Dash could do no real harm to the Director, the latter was unable to catch the former as she raced around him, though he tried to do so long enough to avert his eyes from the ground as the rest of the ponies and one rogue Agent fast approaching from there. “Now, Twilight!”
Twilight telekinetically unsheathed her sword—a large and incredibly heavy-looking one that nonetheless flew like a feather through the air whenever the purple unicorn swung it—and flung it with all her might at the dragon’s heart. The Buster Blade buried itself deep in the Director’s chest, and the dragon let out a howl of pain as it slumped to the ground. 
“How are you doing, Applejack?” Lauren called over her shoulder to the orange mare, not taking her eyes off of the Director should he try any more tricks, even when seemingly defeated. 
“Right as rain!” Applejack laughed. Though Lauren couldn’t see the earth pony as her eyes were still focused on the fallen dragon, Applejack was standing proudly on top of the tied-up forms of three whimpering dogs, entangled in the chains of the swords. “These blades o’ that Kratos character sure did come in handy!”
Lauren, deciding that the dragon was indeed down, at least for the moment, risked a glance over her shoulder to see her friend’s progress. Lauren smiled, noting that with the way James had described Kratos the ‘Ghost of Sparta’ probably wouldn’t have been too happy with the bloodless way Applejack handled things, but it worked for Lauren. The rogue Agent then just as quickly turned her attention back to the dragon to find that it was—
“Gone!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed. “But we only turned our heads for a second!”
“And that was all I needed,” the Director chuckled darkly from nowhere and everywhere all at once. 
“Where are you?!” Lauren called, scanning the room yet seeing nothing—nothing but the blackness that lined the walls as the darkness that seemed to appear whenever the Director was around crept slowly inwards. 
“I’m right in front of you, Ms. Faust,” said the Director—or, was that the Director at all? It couldn’t be, could it? The Director’s voice was dark and monotone, not high-pitched and squeaky like that. 
With a flash of red, a lone figure leapt out of the shadows. Lauren instantly recognized it for what it was, even if the others didn’t, and screamed. 
“Retreat!” Lauren called in a panicked fury as she bolted for the center of the room, just as Rarity’s cannon beeped that it was ready to fire. “Rarity, fire through the floor! We have to get out of here, NOW!”
“Why?” the unicorn asked, even as she hunkered down and blasted a comet-sized projectile of laser through the thick floor of the Cerberus chamber. “Out of all the forms the Director’s taken, this own seems to be the least intimidating of all! In fact, he almost looks funny!”
“Don’t laugh!” Lauren instructed. “Whatever you do, don’t look him in the eyes, don’t let him touch you, and DON’T LAUGH! Rainbow Dash, we need you super, and speed us out of here!”
Rainbow Dash, though not quite sure why given the extremely small appearance of whatever the Director had now become, activated the seven Chaos Emeralds she was wearing on a golden-chain necklace (also given to her as a gift by a certain hedgehog) and suddenly burst into light. Her coat now white and glowing, her rainbow mane seeming to be made of multicolored fire, Rainbow Dash swooped down and gathered the rest of the ponies and Lauren and flew them quick as a photon down the newly blasted hole in the ground.
The laser cannon had shot clean through the Bureau itself, and though the floors were quickly sealing themselves up, the group sped through them faster than they could regenerate. All holding onto super-Rainbow Dash, the others clung on tightly to avoid being smashed against the sides of the jagged holes in each of the floors as Rainbow rocketed by.
“Why were so scared of his last form, Lauren?” Twilight wondered.
“Yeah, it didn’t look scary at all!” Pinkie Pie said.
“That is by far and away one of the most powerful things in all the worlds,” Lauren breathed, a look of fear in her eyes the others had never seen before. They were all worried deeply. “In order to copy the shape of an Animated being, one has to defeat the original Animated being first. The more powerful the Animated being is, the harder it is to defeat, and the more powerful it means the one who defeated it is.”
“So what’s so special about that little scrawny thing we saw back up there?” wondered Rainbow Dash. 
“Because,” Lauren answered. “It means that the Director is powerful enough to defeat one of the most powerful known Animated beings in history, and if he can do that, then it doesn’t really matter if we expose him to the rest of the worlds or not. With that much power he could take down entire armies of Animated beings and humans alike with the flick of his tail. In fact, I don't really know why he needs this 'Senior Cirlce' or me at all--he's plenty powerful without them. In order to defeat him, we’re going to need a being even more powerful than the one he’s defeated and copied.
“We’re going to have to ally ourselves with a being capable of taking down Mickey Mouse.”
. . .

> Chapter 6
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 6
“I thought you said those files were useless with all the power the Director has?” Rainbow Dash said. She had powered down after landing the team back at Lauren’s Safe House, having flown them there at light-speed after escaping the Director. The speed at which Rainbow and the others were travelling prevented the Bureau  from tracing them, but Lauren had made sure to put up all the house’s defenses the moment they got back just to be sure.
“True, it won’t really matter if we expose the Director to the public,” Lauren confirmed. “But these files may nevertheless shed some light on his plans, and how we can stop them.”
“See anything useful yet?” Twilight inquired, having been pouring over half of the papers the team had stolen at the other end of the dining room table. “All I’ve got at this end are a list of the Senior Circle members, which you said was irrelevant.”
“They should be an irrelevant threat compared to the Director,” Lauren agreed. “But it would still be nice to know who is specifically in on this plot. Keep them on hand—er, hoof—just in case. On this end all I’ve managed to get are the names of various retired or deceased Animation Agents from the Bureau’s early days. No idea why the Director would keep this as confidential—wait! I think I found something!”
“What is it?” Applejack asked as everypony rushed over to see Lauren hold up a small gray square of metal. “Uh…how exactly does that help us?”
“It’s a holographic recorder,” Lauren explained, setting down the device which had been paper-clipped to the folder she was investigating. Pressing the red button on the side, Lauren sat back and watched with the ponies as a three-dimensional projection of what appeared to be a map launched into the air above the recorder. 
“It’s like a magically-cast image,” Twilight remarked.
“Where is that?” asked Pinkie Pie. “It looks kind of like Canterlot, only not on a mountainside and filled with humans or other Animated instead of ponies!”
“It’s the Walt Disney Theme Park,” Lauren breathed. 
“The what?” Applejack inquired. “Looks like a city to me, but you humans don’t usually have castles and giant spheres and big trees in your cities, do you?”
“What would the Director want the with Disney Park?” Lauren wondered out loud. Then, remembering the other’s obliviousness to Earth ways, explained with “It’s the largest private Toon Town in existence, completely owned by the Walt Disney Company—but then, you guys don’t know what Toon Towns are either, do you? How should I put this…well, it’s not going to be easy any way I can think of, so I’ll just say it flat out: Toon Towns are like concentration camps.”
“What’s a concentration camp?” Rarity questioned, and the other ponies looked just as puzzled.
Lauren realized that her new friends must come from a very innocent world indeed and regretted that she was about to make them a little less-innocent.
“It’s kind of like a prison, only worse,” Lauren explained. “You see, the Bureau does a lot of great things in the other worlds—but on Earth, the Animated population is regulated very tightly,  far too tightly for my tastes. That’s actually one of the reasons I work for the Bureau, to try and help get rid of these Toon Towns and get enough money to buy some other Animated friends of mine Passes back to their own worlds. 
“Back when the Bureau first started up, the Animated were allowed to roam the Earth freely. But as more and more Animated came to Earth and more and more humans left to explore the Animated worlds, the Bureau enacted Portal Passes to ensure that population levels between worlds didn’t fluctuate too greatly. Civilians can’t go between worlds without a Pass, whether they’re human or Animated. This worked at first, but the Animated who got stuck here on Earth as a result began to set up homes and communities and slowly spread their way throughout human society. A lot of humans, all of whom I despise for the bigots they are, didn’t like this, and so the Bureau built Toon Towns to keep all of the Animated beings on Earth in easily policed places out of the way of humans. The Animated are only allowed out of the Toon Towns during the day and have to have special passes to even leave in the first place, and there are strict penalties for not following the many laws of the Toon Towns.”
“That sounds absolutely awful!” Rarity commented. Lauren agreed, as did all Animated, though she herself seemed to be one of the few humans who thought so. “Why do the Animated put up with it?”
“They have little choice,” Lauren said sadly. “Failure to comply with Toon Town laws results in getting thinned—which is the same as death. But the Disney Park is different from other Toon Towns—it’s run by the Disney corporation, which is probably the largest animation industry in the world. The Park is open to the public twenty-four seven but at exorbitant prices, all of which go towards paying for the maintenance of the Park. To Animated beings, the Park is like an Earthly paradise. It’s not their home worlds, but it’s the next best thing. And, even though its big, it can’t accommodate all the Animated beings on Earth, and so many Animated beings would kill just to get in.”
“What connection does it have to the Director?” Twilight wanted to know.
“That’s the thing,” Lauren wondered. “Mickey Mouse and his world were discovered by the very first Animation Bureau Director, long before the current Director rose to power. The man’s name was Walt Disney, and he made a fortune selling Animated wares he got from the worlds he discovered. With that fortune he founded the Walt Disney Corporation, which has always been the most charitable human-run organization towards Animated beings on Earth. Disney himself died long ago, but after the Toon Towns were built the Corporation built the Disney Park as a memorial to his philanthropic nature towards the Animated. But, other than Mickey Mouse, I can’t see a connection between the Director and the Park.”
“Maybe he was planning on using it as a base of operations?” suggested Twilight.
“He’s already got the most well-defended, well-armed building in all the worlds for that—the Bureau,” Lauren negated. “It has to be something deeper than that.”
Lauren began rifling through the remaining papers, and found that they all bore a Disney heading. Many were scribbled with mathematical equations, and others were simply the red-circled names of some of Walt’s closest friends and fellow Animation Agents—the so-called ‘Nine Old Men.’ The final page was the most puzzling, for it bore an illustration of a domino tipping over, and on each domino was written the name of some of the greatest Animation Agents in the history of the Bureau. After the first domino, labeled ‘Disney,’ came ‘Chuck Jones,’ ‘Tex Avery,’ so on and so forth.
“It doesn’t make any sense,” Lauren muttered to herself. “Where’s the connection?”
“I don’t know, but you might want to take a look at this,” Rainbow Dash said, breaking Lauren out of her reverie. Rainbow’s hoof was pointed at the holographic image of Disney Park, which was being zoomed in on and reduced to a series of gridlines and place names. Less of a photo and more of a simple map, the hologram of the Park quickly traced a red path through the main attractions and to the castle at the center of the Toon Town. Lauren thought that it would stop there, but the red line continued—downward. 
The crimson path wove its way into what developed into a series of tunnels under the Park, revealing a subterranean complex even larger than the Park itself. 
“I can’t believe it,” Lauren breathed. “It’s real.”
“What’s real?” Twilight questioned.
“There was always a legend around the Bureau that there was some big secret hidden underneath Disney Park. I didn’t believe it, but it looks like I should have. Whatever’s hidden down there was rumored to be the most powerful Animated thing in existence—even more powerful than Mickey Mouse—and that must be what the Director’s after. He must want to make sure that nobody else gets to it first and uses it against him, because then he actually can be stopped.”
The red line finally halted its descent at a depth over three-times the height of the tallest spire on the castle, where it turned into a single blinking dot with a caption that read “OBJECTIVE LOCATION.”
“Then that’s where we have to go, right?” Pinkie asked. 
“Indeed it is,” Lauren almost whispered, smiling to herself. “If this legend turns out to be true and we get to it first, then we can end the Director once and for all and save the worlds!”
“Aw yeah, let’s do it!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, pumping her hoof victoriously in the air. “That Director won’t know what hit him!”
“We’ll have to leave as soon as possible,” Lauren added. “The quicker we get to the Park and uncover this secret weapon the less time the Director has to get there before us and either destroy the weapon or add it to his own power—wait, James is calling me—”
Lauren pulled out her cell phone and laid it on the table, hitting the speaker button.
“We’ve a big f***in’ problem here, Lauren!” the nerd shouted from the other end. “The whole f***in’ Bureau’s gone haywire since your little escapade—every Agent on Earth’s been called in to f***in’ militarize. It’s like we’re preparing for a s***storm of a war, and you’re never gonna believe the target—it’s the Disney Park!”
“That just confirms it,” Lauren stated. “James, when’s the Director making his move?”
“Within the hour,” James informed. “And they’re bringing out all the big guns on this one. ALL of the big guns.”
“Oh,” Lauren whispered. “THOSE big guns. Thanks, James—we’ll be on it immediately.”
The nerd hung up, and Lauren re-pocketed the cell phone. The former Animation Agent looked simultaneously scared and excited. 
“This isn’t going to be easy,” Lauren told her team. “In fact, it’s probably going to make the Bureau infiltration look like a cake-walk—it’s a likely possibility not all of us will make it back. The Park itself is well-defended and will be hard to get into, not to mention the unknown defenses of the underground complex. But if the Bureau’s declaring war, then many are about to die. If any of you want out, I won’t blame you.”
“What?” Applejack spluttered. “After all we’ve been through, you still think we wouldn’t stick by you till the end?”
“Yeah, Lauren!” Rainbow Dash agreed. “You can count on us!”
“We’d never abandon a friend, no matter how un-fun things get!” Pinkie added.
The rest of the ponies nodded firmly.
“You guys really are the best friends someone could ask for,” Lauren said sincerely, her eyes moistening. “All right, let’s do this!”
. . .
“I still don’t see why a simple teleportation spell couldn’t get us all over this wall,” Twilight insisted. 
“I told you,” Lauren cautioned, looking nervously around outside from where the group was hiding in the bushes at the base of the wall encompassing Disney Park. “This particular Toon Town uses more types of magic than perhaps any other place in all the worlds. Your own magic will get past some, but not all, and then we’d just be stuck in the middle of the wall. That’s why we need the Digital equipment to get us inside.”
“Mission accomplished!” announced Pinkie Pie right on cue, appearing behind the group and almost startling them all into giving their position away. “I jumped up really high with those spring shoes you lent me and popped a portal inside! Now I just have to pop one here, and—”
Pinkie shot a portal into the wall, and the others instantly saw a back alley inside of the Park come into view. Lauren hastened everypony inside, and Pinkie closed the portals. The change on the inside of the Park was instantaneous. The sheer magical effect of the Park could easily be felt emanating through the wall from the outside, but not until the group reached the inside did the impact of such force really register. Lauren and the ponies were almost knocked off their feat as if assaulted by an overpowering wash of the scent of summer lilies, ocean breeze, and sweet savory fruit.
“Whoa, this place has more concentrated magic than any place I’ve ever felt!” Twilight breathed, relishing the fact. “I wonder if they have a library here detailing all the different kinds of magic…”
“Told you,” Lauren smiled. “That’s why you should be careful when you and Rarity use your magic here—we don’t want it to accidentally get mixed with the other magic circulating throughout the Park, because who knows what would happen then. And they do have a library here, but that’ll have to wait until after we’ve put the Director out of commission.”
“Aw,” Twilight moaned, but did see the reason. “Fine.”
“Do they have any copies of the ‘Adventures of Daring Do?’” Rainbow inquired hopefully.
“Daring who?” Lauren asked as she poked her head out of the alley and looked around. 
“Never mind,” Rainbow huffed.
“Alright, all clear, let’s go!” Lauren commanded, and the team spread out. 
Lauren had been to the Park before as a child, long before her parents had their accident at an Animated rights rally, but the ponies had never seen anything like it. Everywhere, humans and Animated beings walked or flew through the air, chatting and performing and generally enjoying themselves in the warm sun. There was a flying elephant soaring overhead, a parade of princesses waving to the crowd, and even what looked like a friendly dragon giving children rides on his back. And that was just the people—the scenery itself seemed to pulse with a life of its own. The team was currently in a broad avenue labeled ‘Main Street’ that looked like a caricature of a mid-twentieth century American town, but stretched and warped into colorful shapes. Beyond that was a mountain that looked like a growling bear, a giant tree made up of carvings of animals, a golf-ball-esque spheroid in a city of the future, and the largest castle any of the ponies had ever seen, big enough to put even all of Canterlot to shame. The thing looked like it was a dozen castles crammed into one, with differing architectural styles that flowed into one another.
“This place is amazing!” Pinkie exclaimed. “It would be a great place for the world’s biggest party!”
“They actually have one every night,” Lauren said, laughing at the gleeful smile that lit up Pinkie’s face at this tidbit of information. “I’ll have to take you guys to it sometime. Wait—here’s the monorail to take us to the castle.” 
An Animated train swooped down the middle of Main Street and opened its many doors, calling “ALL ABOARD!” as several of the humans and Animated rushed in. Lauren and the ponies crammed inside with the others, and just as quickly as it had appeared the train launched itself down the rail to arrive at the castle station. 
Disembarking, Lauren and the ponies found themselves in a Grand Central-style station where various Animated mice offered to shine their shoes (and horseshoes) while an all-jungle-animal band played in the background. Politely declining them but dropping a few cents and bits into the hat of the band, Lauren and the others hastily made their way to a door labeled ‘PARK PERSONNEL ONLY,’ scanned the fake cards James had made them into the slots, and slipped inside. 
“Okay, this is it,” Lauren breathed as she looked down the long staircase waiting on the other side. A few of the ponies gulped nervously alongside her as they gazed into the deep dank darkness of the old stone steps, but one or two of them relished the excitement palpable in the air. “Rarity, you take point—your laser cannon and armor should be the best defense if anything unpleasant should arise. Rainbow, you keep to the middle and be ready to go super should anything we can’t handle make us need to retreat. Twilight, you guard the rear with your Buster Blade, and remember that there’s more than one sword in that thing should more than one enemy appear.”
“Right,” the ponies all affirmed in unison as they assumed their positions. 
“This is going surprisingly easy so far,” Rainbow Dash remarked. “I thought the Director and his goons would be here by now.”
“They probably already are,” Lauren said. “The Bureau has a near-endless supply of disguises and invisibility apparatuses. Let’s just hope none of them got to this underground entrance yet.”
The ponies nodded their agreement, and the troupe set off. The steps came to a turn and then wound their way down for a ways, only to bring the group to an elevator—with not elevator inside. 
“They already have gotten here before us!” Fluttershy whimpered. 
“I don’t think so,” Lauren said studiously, leaning forward to inspect the cut cable hanging from the elevator shaft’s ceiling. “This looks like it was done a long time ago. Whatever’s down here doesn’t seem to want company.”
Lauren hitched up some climbing gear and then tied a rope to one of the pipes sticking out of an odd machine at the bottom of the stairs and began her descent, the others following after on climbing gear of their own specially rigged for quadrupeds. The bottom of the shaft found the crashed elevator crumpled against the ground, the drop it had to make unaided being quite considerable. 
Lauren and the ponies squeezed their way over the top into the lobby below, which was covered in the dark dust of years of neglect.
“There aren’t any footprints here,” Lauren noticed. “Which means we’re the first beings to set foot here in years. Good, the Bureau hasn’t found this place yet.”
Lauren quickly scurried over to the large bank vault-like door at the other end of the lobby and motioned Pinkie Pie over.
“Can you open this lock as well, GLaDOS?” Lauren inquired.
“Certainly, but I’m still expecting that cake,” the supercomputer insisted. “Just give me a few minutes…”
As GLaDOS plugged herself in to the ancient computer schematics of the old abandoned vault, Lauren and the ponies huddled around a map Lauren had printed out from the hologram image. 
“Alright, so we take this central passage here, avoiding these extraneous hallways, and we then just have to work our way past these nine chambers here before we get to the ‘OBJECTIVE’ at the very bottom of the complex,” Lauren reviewed. “Any questions?”
“I have one,” Rarity spoke up. “What do you think we’ll find down there?”
“The legend was never very specific,” Lauren explained, unsure herself. “I have no solid proof of anything, but if the Director is afraid of it, it must be powerful.”
“I’m not afraid of it,” said a high-pitched squeaky voice, and the room instantly grew darker. “But you should be.”
Lauren and the ponies jerked their heads up to see none other than Mickey Mouse, in all his deceptively un-scary cuteness, smiling maliciously at them all. Behind him were two Animation Agents in full war gear, their bodies covered in thick armor, their heads covered by what could’ve easily passed as space helmets, and their hands pointing two large thinner-blasters at Lauren and her all-too-Animated friends. 
“GLaDOS, don’t—” Lauren tried to say, but in a snap the Director was wearing Mickey’s classic wizard hat and robe and with a flick of the wrist Lauren found herself unable to talk. 
“I suggest your little Digital computer friend carries on unlocking that door for us,” the Director instructed coolly. “Or your pony friends here will start to do a rather good imitation of the Wicked Witch of the West.”
Twilight’s horn glowed, and Lauren found herself able to speak again.
“You can’t get away with this,” Lauren spat. “You’ll never succeed!”
“I already have,” the Director smiled, and the room grew that much more dark. “You see, what I’m searching for in the labyrinth beneath the Park is something that you couldn’t begin to understand the importance of. Once I’m done here, all the worlds shall feel the effects of what I’m about to do, and they shall fall like dominoes, one after the other.”
“Dominos?” Lauren echoed. “You mean like in that drawing from your files? What does this secret weapon beneath the Park have to do with Chuck Jones or Tex Avery or all the other Animation Agents and Directors before you?”
“You mean that even with all my files you still haven’t figured it out?” the Director laughed, and the walls seemed to crack ever so slightly. “But then again, I suppose those mathematical formulae were rather complex. Oh, well. Whether or not you know what I’m REALLY planning to do to the worlds is irrelevant. All that matters is that I find the OBJECTIVE and destroy it, and then nobody will be able to stop me.”
“Door unlocked,” GLaDOS informed them, and Lauren silently cursed the potato-powered supercomputer.
“Good,” the Director smiled again. “Tie them up. They’ll be here for us when we get back, not that it’ll matter.”
The guards on either side of the Director complied, and Lauren and the ponies found themselves tied up with a gooey sticky string whilst the Director and his cronies stepped through the opened vault, closing it carefully behind them.
“And don’t even try to think about escaping,” the Director warned. “I have invisible airships circling the Park, armed with thinner-cannons. One sight of you or word from me and they melt the entire Park and every Animated being in it. Probably drown most of the humans in the thinner, too.”
With that, the Director and his guards were gone. 
“Great going, GLaDOS,” Lauren said sarcastically. “You just doomed the worlds to a life of enslaved tyranny.”
“I couldn’t let him kill you all if I didn’t comply,” GLaDOS informed them. “If you all were dead, then who would give me cake?”
“You’re never going to get cake again if the Director succeeds,” Lauren explained wryly, though noting that it hardly mattered anymore whether the supercomputer knew that or not what with them being tied up and all. 
“Why didn’t you just say that in the first place?” GLaDOS scolded. 
“I was a little ‘tongue-tied’ when the fact came up,” Lauren huffed.
“Don’t worry, Lauren!” Rainbow tried to encourage her friend. “We can still get out of this! We can still win!”
“The Director’s already got a head start on us, though,” Lauren pointed out dejectedly. “And if you go anywhere near those guards of his, he’ll thin you to death.”
“But we can’t just give up!” Twilight insisted. 
“It’s not a point of giving up, it’s a question of how we can get out of industrial strength silly string,” Lauren sighed. “This is the strongest material in all the known worlds. Rarity’s laser cannon wouldn’t put a scratch on it, nor would Twilight’s Buster Blade.”
“Maybe the right spell would work?” Twilight asked hopefully.
“It’s magic-proof,” Lauren sighed. “If only one of us was a master escape artist—that’s it!”
“What’s it?” Applejack inquired.
“Twilight, see if you can levitate my carrot out of my holster—it’ll call a certain friend of mine who just might be able to help us out of this mess.”
As Twilight did so, Fluttershy questioned “Who is it?”
“My godfather,” Lauren explained. “And the best Animated friend of my parents. He gave me this carrot at birth, and my parents told me that if I was ever in a tight spot I couldn’t seem to get out of, to eat the carrot and give a whistle.”
“But how could he help us out of this awful sticky stuff?” Rarity inquired.
“My godfather IS a mater escape artist,” Lauren said hopefully. “He also invented industrial strength silly string, just like all the other ACME products the Bureau uses. He’s not the richest Animated being in all the worlds for nothing!”
Twilight telekinetically levitated the carrot into Lauren’s open mouth and the rogue Animation Agent scarfed it down before clearing her throat and giving a loud resounding whistle. The shrill sound seemed to echo off the walls of the lobby, shaking dust off of everything and maybe, just maybe, even brightening up a bit of the gloom the Director had brought with him.
But, after a minute or so of waiting, Rainbow spoke up with “Well, where is he?”
“He’s a very busy bunny,” Lauren explained, though she couldn’t keep the fear out of her own voice that it hadn’t worked. “I mean, he IS the CEO of ACME Incorporated, the second-largest inter-world business there is. It’s second only to Disney, after all!”
“Maybe he can’t hear it from down here,” Applejack wondered. 
“That might be it,” Fluttershy added. “Angel’s a bunny, and even he couldn’t hear something from so far underground.” 
“My godfather never let my parents down,” Lauren insisted. “I’m sure he wouldn’t let me down either.”
The group waited a bit more in silence. 
After a few more agonizing minutes, right when Lauren was about to dismiss the hope of her godfather ever showing up, a distant rumbling could be heard. It grew in pitch, and suddenly a trail of dirt burrowed its way under the wall. When it connected with the solid concrete and tile of the vault’s lobby’s floor, the speed of whatever was digging underneath the ground didn’t slack for so much as a second, but rumbled on through the rock as if it were nothing more than crumbling dirt. 
The trail circled Lauren and the others once, before finally stopping when it had looped back around to meet itself and a hole finally appeared.
A pair of rabbit ears poked out like a periscope, turning this way and that as they seemed to scan the environment. Apparently satisfied, the ears’ owner hopped up out of the hole, and the ponies beheld a tall, angular gray-and-white rabbit with a toothy smile wearing a business suit.
“What’s up, Doc?” the bunny smiled, beaming at the ex-Animation Agent. “Lauren! I can’t believe it’s really you! The last I saw you, you were just a baby!”
“You have no idea how good it is to see you, Mr. Bunny,” Lauren said happily. 
“‘Mr.’ Bunny?” the rabbit echoed, seemingly appalled. “Lauren, I am your godfather! Call me Bugs! And who are your friends here?”
The ponies introduced themselves, and just like the CEO that he was, Bugs went around and shook each of their hooves in turn.
“Bugs here is also one of the most powerful known Animated beings,” Lauren explained to the ponies. “Second only to Mickey himself.”
“Though I hold no ill will towards the Mouse,” Bugs said. “At least, we used to be buds before he sold out to the humans—no offense, Lauren. Your parents were like siblings to me, but most humans just exploit us Animated. After that we lost touch, but I keep hoping we can reconcile our differences eventually.”
“No offense taken,” Lauren said. “I feel the same way.”
“So what’s up?” Bugs asked. “To what may I attribute the honor of your calling?”
"We’re in a bit of a sticky situation here,” Applejack pointed out sarcastically, pointing to the silly string bands entrapping them. 
“So I see, but Lauren’s been in tighter binds before, haven’t you, Lauren?” Bugs winked.
“I also thought we could use some backup,” Lauren explained sheepishly to the ponies. “I knew how to get out of this silly string all along; I just didn’t want us racing into the labyrinth only to have you guys thinned by the Director.”
“The Director?!” Bugs gasped. “He finally snapped, did he? That’s why I always said an Animated should be in charge of the Bureau, not some human. But nobody listens to Bugs, do they? Can you believe the Bureau wouldn’t even let me buy Lauren’s Animated pals Passes back to their home worlds all because the Bureau and ACME, my company, had a falling out shortly after Lauren was born? Now they have to buy my products second hand, because I only sell to the Animated! But anyway, sure, I’d be happy to take down the ol’ Homo Sapiens Animated-oppressor! Just let me at him!”
“That’s the thing,” Lauren explained as Bugs leaned down to gnaw through the silly string, telling the group as he did so that he made them foolproof against everything except his own teeth. “The Director’s taken the form of Mickey Mouse.”
Bug’s face went cold. 
“My old pal,” Bugs almost wept. “Beaten by that thug, and before he had a chance to redeem himself for selling out to Disney? Of course you know, this means war!”
“That’s just what we wanted to hear,” Lauren smiled, hugging her godfather, who returned the embrace almost like a father would. “Now, let’s avenge Mickey and save the worlds!”
. . .
> Chapter 7
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 7
Lauren, Bugs, and the ponies raced down the dusty, dark hallways of the labyrinth beneath Disney Park. There were more twists and turns than conceivably possible, where sometimes even distance, time, and gravity shifted in peculiar ways to allow for the odd special contortions of the maze. Often Lauren would hear the ponies right behind her only to turn and give them a command to find that there was nopony there. When Lauren would turn back around, the ponies would suddenly be in front of her (and running on the ceiling) with no memory of when they and Lauren had switched places.
Lauren wasn’t too perturbed by such developments—after all, such impossibilities were to be expected as the norm beneath such a concentrated amount of Animated radiation. That didn’t make it any less annoying, of course.
“Oh, we'll never get there before the Director!” Rainbow Dash exasperated after the team faced yet another dead end at the conclusion of the latest winding path. “This place goes on forever!”
“He’ll be having just as much trouble as we are,” Lauren pointed out. “Even Mickey Mouse isn’t exempt from spatial distortions.”
“Spatial what?” Rainbow echoed. 
“When time and space don’t seem to be getting along,” Lauren explained. “When the rules of reality seem more like guidelines.”
“You mean like whenever we’re around Pinkie Pie?” Applejack wondered.
“Pretty much,” Lauren agreed. “Only now it’s the environment messing with our heads instead of a friend.”
“Couldn’t Bugs just burrow us to the end?” Rainbow wondered. “I mean, he did dig through solid rock and metal to get here.”
“That’s because those rocks and metals weren’t Animated,” Bugs answered. “This labyrinth is made of some kind of Animation I’ve never seen before.”
“Then couldn’t we just thin our way through?” Applejack spoke up. 
“We don’t have nearly enough thinner for that,” Lauren sighed. “And even if we did, there’s probably some kind of security mechanism in place anyway, like something deadly and non-Animated waiting just behind the walls should someone try something like that.”
The ponies shivered at such a thought. 
“Then what do we do?” Twilight inquired, her eyebrow raised cynically. “This random running around isn’t getting us anywhere.”
“I agree,” Lauren said. “And unfortunately the Digital equipment doesn’t seem to give us an advantage in such enclosures.”
“Wait a minute!” Bugs exclaimed. “I can’t believe I didn’t think of this sooner!”
“What?” Lauren asked eagerly, seeing the eureka expression on Bugs’ smiling face.
“Wait just a sec,” Bugs smiled, pulling out his cell phone. “I have a call to make to an old friend.”
. . .
“Feast your eyes, gentleman,” the Director smiled darkly, following his own advice as he chowed down on the visual buffet before them. A vault door ten times the size of the one leading into the labyrinth stood before them. After countless dead ends, the Director’s head start had finally paid off—ex-Agent Lauren and her little freedom brigade were hopelessly lost behind them, and there was no way they could catch up in time to stop the opening of this door. “Beyond this portal lies the OBJECTIVE. Oh, I have a call…Wait, that’s odd…how can I get reception down here? Hello?” 
“What’s up, Doc?” announced Bugs as he burst out of the cell phone the Director was holding to his large round ears and planted a wet, sloppy kiss on Mickey Mouse’s nose. “Wait a minute, this isn’t the beach! I knew I should’ve taken a left turn at Albuquerque!”
“What?!” the Director raged as Bugs hopped out of the phone, pulling Lauren and the rest of the team along with him before the Director could crush the cell phone in his white gloves. 
“You just fell for the oldest trick in the book,” Bugs smirked. “And a word of advice—I WROTE THE BOOK!”
Bugs whipped out a large mallet and, before the Director could react, smacked it down on Mickey’s head. The Mouse was left flattened like a giant coin while Bugs reached forward with impossibly long arms and pulled the goggles off of the two henchmen the Director had brought with him. Bugs just as quickly let the goggles snap back and sent the goons flying into the far wall, leaving them slumped at the base of vertical craters with stars and planets swirling around their heads.
“Quick, before they have time to get back up!” Lauren shouted to her friends. “GLaDOS! Can you open this door too?”
“Of course I can!” the potato-powered computer snapped. “But when am I going to get my cake?!”
“As soon as we recover whatever this OBJECTIVE is and use it to stop the Director!” Lauren snapped back, getting tired of the supercomputer’s odd obsession with pastries. “And hurry!”
“Fine, fine,” GLaDOS grumbled before flashing brightly and causing the security control panel on the vault door to blink crazily before turning green. The vault door clicked open, Lauren and company slipped inside, and the vault closed behind them.
“Whew,” Rainbow Dash breathed excitedly. “That was close, but awesome!”
“You really are amazing, Mr. Bunny,” Twilight agreed. “I’ve never seen such a wonderful display of magic before!”
“It wasn’t magic,” Bugs replied, beaming in the adulation of a new fan. “That was basic cartoon physics! I’ll teach you sometime, if you’re interested—or better yet, just learn from your pink friend here. She’s still an amateur, but I can see she’s got great potential.”
“Who would’ve thought the day would come when Twilight would be the pupil of Pinkie Pie?” Rarity chuckled.
“I agree, you were pretty awesome, Bugs,” Lauren thanked her godfather. “But the mission isn’t over yet. We still have to find this OBJECTIVE—”
“I think we just did,” Applejack said, pointing to a small, old-fashioned television in the center of the vast room the team had entered. The sides of the room disappeared into darkness, but a single spotlight shone down on the ancient set. 
Lauren jogged over to the set, Bugs and the ponies closed behind, and turned it on. A black-and-white image of Walt Disney himself appeared on the screen.
“Hello and welcome to the Secret of Disney,” the long-dead original Animation Director announced. “This ride is not open to the general public, and as such requires a final test to validate the legitimacy of your purpose in coming here. If your intentions are deemed to be in the right, then you may leave the Secret of Disney with both the prize at the end and your lives. If not, I hope you all wrote your last will and testament before you got down here, and told your friends and relatives to prepare for a closed-casket funeral. Goodbye.”
The television clicked off, and the spotlight went dark.
Fluttershy cried out in the virtual night, but the lights came on again just as quickly as they had vanished. In fact, the whole room was now illuminated, all several football-fields worth of it. The television had also somehow disappeared.
“Ooh, this reminds me of home,” GLaDOS whispered nostalgically. “It’s so white and big and clean—it’s just like one of my test chambers!”
“That’s what worries me,” Lauren muttered. “This ‘final test’ isn’t going to be easy.”
“Indeed it won’t.”
The team spun around to see a man who wasn’t there. But he was…but he wasn’t. The team could see right through the human, who flickered in black-and-white tones just like a three-dimensional hologram of the picture they had just seen on the television. But the man before them now wasn’t Disney.
“You’re Les Clark,” Lauren breathed, recognizing the man’s image from his picture in the Animation Bureau Hall of Fame. “One of Disney’s Nine Old Men—the special task force made up of the best Animation Agents of all time!”
“I was, in life,” the holographic man agreed. “But that was a long, long time ago.”
“You mean you’re…dead?” Fluttershy squeaked. “Please don’t hurt us!”
“Yes and no,” Clark responded, smiling at the frightened pegasus kindly. “My body passed away quite some time ago, but due to some amazing feats of science, my old friend Walt was able to bring me back, in a manner of speaking. In truth, I am not Les Clark—merely a holographic projection of his reanimated nervous system’s brainwaves, kept artificially active through intense electrification.”
“Walt did it to all of us,” said another voice, and the team whirled around again to see yet more of the black-and-white holograms. Eight more, in fact, all the remains of the original Nine Old Men. 
“Marc Davis, Ollie Johnston, Milt Kahl, Ward Kimball, Eric Larson, John Lounsberry, Wolfgang Reitherman, and Frank Thomas!” Lauren exclaimed, pointing to each grainy figure in turn.
“You know your Animation history well,” Clark remarked, still smiling. “Let’s hope it can save you.”
“What?” Lauren asked nervously, turning back to face Clark. 
“You see, Walt wanted a final test of character before the Secret of Disney was reached,” Clark explained. “And he wanted that test of character to come from people he could trust. Namely, us.”
“You’re going to fight us?” Rainbow inquired, looking a little nervous herself. The multihued pegasus may have been brave, but even she had a few trepidations about fighting what were effectively ghosts. 
“In a manner of speaking, yes,” Clark agreed.
“But how can you fight us?” Applejack wondered, trotting forward and swiping a hoof through Clark’s holographic form. “You’re not even really here!”
“True,” Clark admitted. “But the mark of a true artist is how much his work affects people AFTER he’s gone.”
Suddenly Clark flew back, fading into the wall where each member of the team could see his projector was stationed. The other monochromatic ghosts did the same, rushing backwards into the walls just like the ghosts that they were. 
“What’s he talking about?” Pinkie Pie piped up. “If they’re all dead, they can’t be a threat, right?”
“I’m beginning to get the awful feeling that they’re even more of a threat when they’re gone,” Lauren gulped. 
“How’s that?” Applejack inquired, though she too looked nervous at this point.
“Like this,” replied Clark’s voice, through Clark and the rest of the Nine Old Men were nowhere to  be seen. In the spots where each ghost had vanished into the wall, large mechanical doors were lifting on giant hydraulics. Out of the nine doors, each marked with a number, stepped eight plus one figures that made Lauren’s heart stop cold. Like a gladiator entering an arena with a pride of lions, Lauren knew she was vastly outnumbered and overpowered.	
For the opponents were not exactly Animated, nor where they technically manmade. They weren’t even Digital. The monstrosities that stepped, stomped, rolled, slithered, flew, or swam through the air out into the battleground were a mixture of both manmade and Animated materials—giant robotic organisms, cyborgs of Animation and metal and genetically engineered super-flesh that hungered for blood.
“Walt was kind enough to give us dead friends of his some bodies to use when he brought us back to life,” Clark explained from one of the many mouths of a large deer-like thing. In fact, it kind of reminded Lauren of Bambi—which was probably exactly what it was supposed to be, albeit a monstrous perversion of the classic childhood favorite. “Do you like them?”
“To be perfectly honest, it looked like somebody rolled up all of Disney’s biggest wackjobs and threw ‘em in a blender set on liquefy,” Bugs remarked uneasily, though never losing his trademark wisecracking wit. 
“That’s just about what happened,” Clark smiled with his—its—many mouths, each bearing metal teeth that should not be sprouting from the skin of a young deer, even if the deer in question was huge and sported a pair of rabbit hind legs and a large skunk tail in addition to two dog collars. “Each of us represents what Animated worlds and Animated beings we discovered while in Walt’s service. I, for example, helped Walt explore the worlds of ‘Bambi’ and ‘Lady and the Tramp.’ I’ll let you guess what the rest of us discovered.
“Oh, and about the ‘viciously attacking you till you die’ thing,” Clark finished, licking its many teeth with serrated white tongues. “It’s nothing personal. It’s just that Walt wanted only a true friend of Animation with good intentions to be able to defeat us and pass on to the Secret, which is exactly what you all will have to be in order to defeat us all. Otherwise, it was nice meeting you.”
Lauren, and the rest of the team gulped again, each raising their weapons as the post-mortem monstrosities (eat your heart out, Frankenstein) closed their circle around them. Then, with a bloodcurdling shriek, each leapt forward.
Lauren leapt up onto Clark’s back as it slammed  into the ground where, seconds ago, she would’ve been waiting to be flattened and eaten. Whipping out a can of thinner, Lauren sprayed at the tentacles that sprouted from Clark’s flesh and tried to snap at her with the heads of various dogs from ‘Lady and the Tramp.’ The dogs yelped as their Animation melted away, but robotic skeletons beneath sported sword-like blades that darted in at Lauren twice as quickly as the dogs had.
Lauren unsheathed the Sacred Blade, lent to her by her good friend Samurai Jack, and began to rapidly slice at the manmade metal spikes, cutting them off before they could wound her. Finally able to work without having to immediately defend herself, Lauren leapt into the air, preparing to bring the Sacred Blade plunging down into Bambi’s back.
Clark, however, seemed to have other ideas, and jumped backwards into a flip that sent Lauren flying underneath the monstrosity, pinned to the ground. 
The other ponies didn’t seem to be faring any better.
“Lauren!” Applejack called despairingly.
At seeing Lauren downed, Applejack immediately flew into a rage—the fact that she was wearing the weapons of the embodiment of fury itself probably helped—and launched herself at the nearest creature. That creature happened to be the reanimated remains of Marc Davis, who Applejack didn’t know was famed for contributing designs for such Disney Park rides as ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ and ‘The Haunted Mansion.’ Had Applejack known, though, it would’ve made little difference, as the various sea monsters, skeleton pirates, and ghostly ghouls that the monstrosity divided itself into from its original twining mass of thorny rose vines were exactly the kind of thing Kratos himself was used to fighting.
Applejack whipped the Blades of Chaos at the skeleton army in a blind fury, shattering their bones and sending their cutlasses clattering across the floor. Leaping further into the fray, Applejack unsheathed the Blade of Olympus and shot like a torpedo through the head of a massive kraken that breached out of the floor as if it were the frothing ocean. Applejack landed covered in blood and ink on the other side, bits of the giant squid’s brain clinging to her steaming coat as the kraken sunk back into the floor. 
Applejack hardly seemed to notice, though, as the ghosts of a thousand graves rushed forward with their tombstones bared as shields while the swords of ancient slain warriors soared towards the orange earth pony’s throat. Applejack merely smiled and hastily put on her favorite weapons of the Kratos collection: the Nemean Cestus. Nothing but blunt, brutal force—just like apple-bucking, which is exactly what Applejack proceeded to do to each and every ghost until there was nothing left but ectoplasm splattered across the battlefield. 
“You want some more?!” Applejack screamed in maniacal laughter at the gooey remains of Marc Davis. 
“Actually, I do,” Marc replied, much to Applejack’s surprise. The shattered, blood-spattered pieces of Marc’s body suddenly began to slide towards each other and converge into the original form of a mass of twining, thorny rose vines. 
“But that’s impossible!” Applejack insisted as the monstrosity recombined with itself. “I bucked you from here to the ends of the earth!”
“You’ll have to go farther than that if you want to lay one of the Old Nine down to rest,” the plant chortled. “I would suggest you start with some weed killer.”
The rosy thorns lashed out to snare Applejack, who thrashed violently in their spiking embrace. But, the more Applejack struggled, the tighter the vines became and the deeper the thorns wounded her.
“Applejack!” Rarity called. “I’ll help you as soon as I’m done with this…hideous crime against fabulosity!”
“I’m one of the veterans of Animation,” Ollie Johnston roared. “You’re just some horse that I’ve never even seen! How do you possibly expect to beat me?!”
“Like this!” Rarity roared, leaping towards the hulking, living Snow White’s castle that was Ollie as her laser blaster fired rapidly at the monster. The blasts singed harmlessly off the castle’s solid rock walls, causing Rarity to gasp before furrowing her brow in determination and flinging herself at the castle as Samus’ morph ball. The castle opened its drawbridge  and swallowed her whole, laughing all the while.
The laughing stopped suddenly when the castle, if such a thing was possible, looked confused. Then it exploded—debris raining down on the battlefield while Rarity smiled triumphantly in the center of the blast, having shot the monster’s heart. 
However, the falling rocks instantly regrouped and transformed into towering trees with faces and grasping, slicing claws. Rarity looked dumbfounded and shouted “Now that’s just not fair!” before galloping through the homicidal forest, blasting at anything that moved. But, every time a branch was burned off or bark exploded into green energy, it grew back just as quickly, and soon Rarity found herself lost in a maze of teeth and claws that surged forward to devour her. The white unicorn’s scream was lost in the barking laughs of the killer trees.
“Rarity!” Twilight called out—and so it went. Twilight seemed to get the upper hand against Milt Kahl’s Shere Kahn, only to find herself stuffed inside a giant skull with a ruby by a mad woman with snaky red hair.
Rainbow Dash swooped in and out of the living Wonderland of Ward Kimball that prattled madly about her, throwing heart-tipped spears and splashing molten tea up like a stormy sea to singe at her feathers whenever she wasn’t quick enough. Rainbow was able to smash through the mad musical notes of Kimball’s musical pieces, but was helpless when the Cheshire Cat appeared around her, trapping her inside before drinking up the scalding sea of killer tea.
Eric Larson’s Peter Pan and the rest of the mutated flying kids swirled around Pinkie Pie, who suddenly found herself high above an Animated version of London by night, where in the open air her portal tricks and open defiance of physics were at a loss to help her. Pinkie was able to suck most of them out to the Moon by shooting one portal there and the other by the clock tower where each would rest before swooping in to attack her again—but the moon itself simply fell down on her as a result.
Meanwhile, Bugs was left to deal with John Lounsberry’s gators and stomping elephants, Wolfgang Reitherman’s Monstro the whale, and Frank Thomas’ Captain Hook and his pirate crew all by his lonesome as Fluttershy soared into the air to hide from the horrors below.
“Thanks a lot,” Bugs muttered as the creamy yellow pegasus zoomed away. Bugs was able to distract all three for a time with his reverse psychology, causing them to attack themselves, but eventually they wised up to the ploy and trapped Bugs in a ring of teeth and steel. 
Finally, only Fluttershy was left, far above her trapped friends and the monstrosities below. 
“No, my friends,” Fluttershy concernedly panicked to herself. “They’re all going to die—all because I’m too afraid to help!”
“Fluttershy!” Lauren called out in pain from beneath the crushing weight of giant Bambi. “Use your Digital weapons before it’s too late! You can do it!”
“I can’t!” Fluttershy disagreed. “I’m too scared!”
“If you don’t then we’re all going to die!” Lauren pleaded as Bambi slowly settled in, crushing the life out of her.
“No,” Fluttershy whispered to herself, a spark of fire suddenly glinting in her eyes. “My friends will not die because of me. They will NOT die because of me. THEY WILL NOT DIE BECAUSE OF ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Fluttershy raised Yuna’s summoning staff and a burst of light temporarily blinded all present, including the monstrosities of the Old Nine. 
“I do not recognize these strange weapons,” remarked one of the Old Men. “They are not Animated, nor are the manmade.”
“Nor are they useful,” added another Old Man, chuckling at the inevitability of the team’s fate. “All that the last of this rabble has been able to do is try and stun us with her light show.”
“That wasn’t a light show,” Fluttershy smirked, the fire still gleaming in her eyes. “I just summoned some friends.”
“Oh, really?” laughed another of the Nine. “Who?” 
“All of them,” Fluttershy continued to smirk. 
“ALL of them?” Lauren whispered, the breath barely able to escape her lips as her ribs threatened to crack under Clark’s increasing weight. “Oh, no. You guys are in for it now. I didn’t think that was even possible, but this isn’t going to end well for you.”
“I’ll inscribe those as your last words on your tombstone,” Bambi smiled maliciously. “Now, die—”	
“Pika-chu.”
“—what?” Bambi stopped, midway into snuffing the life out of Lauren. Bambi’s head turned to see a small, yellow, mouse-like creature sniffing disgustedly at his feet. “What is that? THAT’s your backup?”
“Squirtle,” said another one of the things, this time a small turtle.
“Charmander.”
“Bulbasaur.”
“What?” inquired one of the Nine. “What are these things? And where are they coming from—”
Then reality exploded.
Hundreds of Pocket Monsters burst into the arena from nowhere and everywhere all at once, overflowing the white room like a sea of brightly-colored mini-monsters—which effectively is exactly what it was. And they were just the beginning. Every Digital monster that had ever been discovered, catalogued, and observed by the Video Game Department burst into being.
A pyramid-headed executioner, stained with blood and wielding a blade as tall as he was, sliced into Bambi as Bahamut the dragon blasted the gnashing forest into oblivion. Close to a thousand Pokémon surged their elemental energy forth, electrocuting, burning, dousing, and generally smashing up the Nine Old Men like a living fireworks display. 
It was over in a matter of seconds, and none were spared. 
Fluttershy landed amid the carnage with a smug look on her face as Titans stomped out the life of the Nine while various Mortal Kombat humanoids lashed their weapons into the monstrosities and tore out their hearts, only to shove them back down their throats and repeat the process all over again.
“Are they all dead?” Fluttershy asked.
After a final stomp and blood-spattered scream, Earth Worm Jim walked over to the creamy pegasus, performed a low bow, and announced “Yes, my liege.”
“Thank you,” Fluttershy smiled genuinely. “You may all go home now.”
And with another flash of light, they did.
“Fluttershy…that …was…AWESOME!” Rainbow Dash cheered, zooming up to tackle her friend in a hug. “I mean, they were like ‘We’re going to kill you all’ and then you all were like ‘Oh no you didn’t!’ and then the monsters were all like ‘ROAR!’”
“Yup, that’s pretty much how it all went down,” Fluttershy smiled self-consciously. “I’m just glad you guys are okay.”
“Thanks to you, we are,” Lauren smiled sincerely, picking herself up from where Bambi—now splattered across the far wall—had been crushing her. “Is everybody alright?”
“Sir, yes, sir!” announced the ponies, snapping to attention. 
“My ego’s a little bruised, but I’ll recover,” Bugs grinned. 
“Good,” Lauren grinned back. “Then let’s—”
“Wait!” 
Lauren froze, and turned to see the last person she had ever expected to see—especially since she had just witnessed him be dashed across the wall.
“I—we—just wanted to say—” a bleary and even more static-ridden hologram of Clark tried to say, shimmering on the spot where his physical body died.
“You’re alive!” Lauren exclaimed, assuming a defensive stance as the rest of the team followed suit. “How’re you alive?!”
“I thought I told you already, I’m not,” Clark smiled sadly. “The real Clark died long ago. I’m just shadows and reflections of him. And on behalf of the Nine Old Men of Disney, I just wanted to say thank you.”
“Thank you?” Lauren echoed. “For what?”
“For laying us to rest,” Clark answered. “We didn’t ask Walt to come back—and he didn’t ask us if we wanted to. This was never our choice, but today you have freed us. For that we thank you.”
“You’re welcome!” Pinkie Pie announced brightly.
“Yes…you’re welcome,” Lauren agreed. She had never thought to look at things from the Nine’s perspective—what must it be liked to be dragged back from the grave after finally retreating to a well-deserved rest? Lauren actually felt sorry for them. But, she smiled, she now realized that thanks to her team they could go back to the afterlife that awaited them, could rejoin with their true selves that waited for them there.
“And one more thing,” Clark cautioned as his hologram began to fade. “The Secret is open to you now, but be careful how you interact with it. As I’m sure you already know, the fate of all worlds depends on the outcome of your next few actions.”
“What?” Lauren gasped. “How could you know about the Director’s plot?”
“I didn’t,” Clark smiled as he began to vanish completely. “The fate of all worlds has always been precariously tied up with the Secret. Fare well, my friends, and act wisely—reality itself depends on it.”
. . .

> Chapter 8
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 8
Lauren, Bugs, and the ponies gulped in almost perfect unison as they stood before and stared up at the largest vault door yet. There didn’t seem to be any locks on this one for GLaDOS to break through, but that wasn’t a problem as the door slid aside into the wall as they looked on. 
There was nothing but darkness beyond. 
“Well…should we…go in?” Rarity wondered uncertainly, just as genuinely frightened as the rest of them as to what lay beyond the darkness. What could possibly be so powerful, so dangerous, that it could not only defeat the Director as Mickey Mouse but had been intricately tied up with the fate of all worlds everywhere even before the Director rose to power?
“Come on, guys,” Lauren encouraged, trying to sound more confident than she felt. “With what we’ve faced so far, there can’t be anything we can’t face together, right?”
“Yeah, Lauren’s right,” Twilight spoke up. “When we stick together, there’s nothing we can’t do!”
“And I didn’t come all this way and risk all of my friend’s lives just to be too afraid to finish our mission to save the worlds!” Rainbow Dash agreed. “Let’s go!”
“Yeah!”
“Right behind you!”
“Yee-haw!”
“We’ll all stick by ya, Lauren,” Bugs smiled confidently. “Till the very end.”
Lauren smiled back, then faced the void, and stepped in. Bugs and the ponies followed, and the vault slammed shut behind them. Fluttershy squeaked in fear, but the lights came on immediately afterwards, illuminating a room even larger than the arena had been. This one, however, was covered in giant movie screens, each of which displayed pictures shot from a floating sphere of projectors in the center of the room. Like a tiny planetoid, the projector-orb turned slowly, casting all kinds of old Disney movies across the screens in a dance of cinematic light.
“What is this place?” Twilight wondered. “And where’s the OBJECTIVE? I don’t see anything but that TV-thing up there.”
“Maybe the Secret IS the TV thing?” Rainbow Dash suggested. 
“I don’t think so,” Lauren ventured.
“Then where could it be?” Bugs questioned, scratching his head in confusion. “It ain’t like ol’ Walt, as much as I disliked the human, to lead us all this way for a dead end and a pretty picture show.”
Suddenly, the movies began blinking off one by one, replaced again by black screens that were just as quickly replaced with the same grainy black-and-white image that had greeted the group on the old-fashioned television in the arena. 
“Welcome, friends of Animation,” Walt Disney’s image announced to the team. “You have come far, and you have done well. You have proved yourself of good will and as such have been granted access to the Secret of Disney. Be warned, however, that you can never unlearn what you have seen here. If any of you do not wish to partake in the potentially maddening secrets of the universes, speak now or forever bear in your minds what you have seen here.”
The group was silent. The safety of all worlds everywhere were was worth facing maddening secrets for.
“Very well,” Disney smiled. The images all went black, casting the room back into darkness. Before Fluttershy could squeak again, though, the lights came on once more. The sphere of projectors in the center of the room was descending to the ground, and the group walked hesitantly forward to meet it.
The sphere touched down, and with a hiss of steam, opened up like a flower, releasing multicolored gases into the air that quickly dissipated. When the smoke cleared, Lauren, Bugs, and the ponies saw the Secret of Disney.
And screamed.
“It’s—it’s—” Rarity tried to get out.
“Humans!” Bugs shouted. “What is it with you humans?! Why can’t you ever just leave the natural order of things well enough alone?!” 
Fluttershy simply continued screaming until she fainted.
“Not even magic could accomplish THAT!” Twilight gasped.
“It’s true…” Lauren whispered. “All those conspiracy theories, those crazy stories…I never thought they were related to the Bureau’s rumors of something under Disney Park, but it was all true, all along…”
“And now you know my awful secret,” spoke the voice of Disney, though there was no image of his face across any of the movie screens. The voice had also lost its broadcasted mechanical qualities. This was no recording in front of them. This wasn’t a SECRET of Disney.
This WAS Disney.
Walt Disney’s head, severed at the neck from where it was connected to several wires and tubes emanating from him like thick wiry veins connected his cranium to the machine inside the projector’s planetoid, smiled at them all. 
“And this is just the tip of the iceberg,” Disney went on. “I haven’t even gotten to the maddening secrets of the universes yet.”
“What’s going on here?!” Rainbow Dash almost shouted. “Lauren, I thought you and Bugs said this guy was dead! What’s his head doing here, talking to us? Is this some kind of sick puppet joke?!”
“No, Rainbow,” Lauren calmed the cyan pegasus. “Humanity thought that Walt Disney had died a long time ago. But there were always rumors that his last project had been his most insane.”
“And it was,” Disney agreed. “I imagined a future in which technology would exist that would allow even death itself to be overcome. I imagined a time when I could be reanimated, so to speak, and live forever. Not with Animated technology or magic, which would surely either kill me on its own in time due to sheer Animated radiation or simply be incompatible with human biology, but with actual manmade technology.
“So I had my head frozen beneath Disney Park, awaiting the day when I would awake again. And that day came. My head was unfrozen, fitted with the technologies you now see before you, and here I have lived on ever since,” Disney finished. 
“But…why?” Lauren wondered, disgusted. “Why would you want to live on like this?”
“If only I had your outlook when I made the decision all those years ago,” Disney sighed sadly. There was a look of deep melancholy in his eyes. “I thought that if the technology was advanced enough, then I could live forever. I thought I could continue my days of being the Director of the Animation Bureau until infinity and beyond, always discovering and exploring new worlds, making new friends, living life. But now I know that no technology can truly replicate life itself, and so I have lived only the shadow of an existence down here all this time, awaiting the true end that I know must come for all life.”
“You mean you never even considered…” Lauren trailed off, unable to finish.
“No,” Disney said firmly. “I couldn’t commit suicide even if I wanted to. There is too much at stake.”
“What do you mean?” Twilight inquired.
“I was dead, for a time, before I inhabited the artificial form you see now,” Disney explained. “And in the void beyond death, many things were made known to me. The nature of all worlds, the secrets that are hidden within each. And when I came back, those secrets came with me, all locked inside this half-alive brain.”
“And those secrets must be what the new Director is so scared of,” Pinkie Pie postulated. 
“Secrets from beyond death itself sure got to beat any powers the Director has,” Bugs agreed.
“Director?” Disney echoed. “I assume you mean the current Director of the Animation Bureau? What does he or she have to do with any of this?”
“Quite a lot,” Lauren smiled wryly, and then explained why the team had made this dangerous journey in this first place. 
“That monster!” Disney exclaimed when Lauren had finished. “He defeated my greatest friend! Oh, Mickey…”
“And the Director wants to use Mickey’s powers and a team of higher-ups from the Bureau called the ‘Senior Circle’ to rule Earth and all the worlds through the Bureau,” Lauren went on. “That’s the whole reason we’re here. We learned that the Director wanted something under Disney Park, and we figured that it must be the old rumor about something more powerful than Mickey Mouse. We thought that he would want to either destroy it so that nothing could stop him or just add it to his own powers to make himself stronger. And that’s what I don’t understand…”
“Don’t understand?” Fluttershy echoed.
“Mickey Mouse is more powerful by far than Walt Disney ever was,” Lauren explained. “No offense—”
“None taken,” Disney assured her.
“—but Disney is still a human, even now, and Mickey is an Animated being. Even if Animated beings normally lack a human’s ambition and destructive prowess, they’re still far more powerful than a solitary human could ever be.”
“That is true,” Disney agreed again.
“Then why is the Director so afraid of you?” Rarity asked.
“I doubt he is,” Disney answered her. “It is true that I could neither do anything to stop him nor add to his power. That is what also confuses me.”
“Maybe he just doesn’t know what’s really down here?” Applejack thought aloud.
“I don’t think so,” Lauren said. “The Director claimed that he wasn’t afraid of what’s down here, and now that I think about it there’s something in how he said it that makes me think he already knew all this.”
“But how could he?” Bugs inquired.
“Indeed,” Disney agreed. “I do not see how anyone could know of…oh, no.”
“What is it?” Lauren asked.
“Quick—there’s not much time before he gets in here,” Disney hastily explained. “But you’re Director isn’t who you think he is, and he’s after more than you know. Domination of the worlds doesn’t begin to cover the devastation he’d wreak if he could destroy me, which is what I believe he is undoubtedly planning.”
“What are you talking about?” Pinkie piped up. “I’m confused.”
“As am I,” Lauren agreed.
“Those maddening secrets of the universe I learned of after death,” Disney went on. “He must somehow know about them, though I never told them to anyone. You all are the first to enter this chamber since I was reanimated.”
“What are these secrets you keep talking about?” Twilight wanted to know.
“I’m getting to that,” Disney assured her. “There’s a reason behind everything. A reason behind every atom of every molecule of every piece of matter of every universe, of which there are an infinite amount. All the worlds ever so far discovered are just a fraction of what is truly out there, of the true scope of all reality. And it is all reality this ‘Director’ is trying to destroy.”
“Indeed I am,” came Mickey Mouse’s voice, and everyone in the room froze dead, including and most of all Disney. “And after I destroy you, I’ll finally have my revenge.”
“Defensive stations!” Lauren shouted, and Bugs and the ponies leapt into action around her while the ex-Animation Agent herself ran forward with a full can of thinner. The Director and his two goons, having somehow gotten through the vault door in three holes that were each silhouettes of their forms, merely smiled and flicked his tail against the ground. Lauren, Bugs, and the grounded ponies were thrown up in the air in the resulting shuddering of earth while the two goons shot nets around Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy from specialized guns. Still disoriented from their fall, Lauren and the rest were helpless against the net-guns and ended up the same as their aerial companions.
“Don’t do this!” Disney shouted desperately at the Director, his head just as helpless to do anything against the advancing Mouse. “Think of all the lives you’ll destroy!”
“I am,” the Director smiled darkly, and the lights in the room flickered. “But before I do destroy you, and all of reality along with you, I think our little friends here deserve an explanation. Ms. Faust, you’ve certainly come farther than I ever expected, I must give you credit for that. You were truly a worthy opponent in this little game of ours. However, this game has come to a close, and you have lost. What’s more, you have failed to save all the worlds everywhere—but don’t worry, after I’m through, there won’t be anyone around to remember you for it. There won’t have ever been anyone ever at all.”
“What are you talking about?!” Lauren spat angrily. “You said you wanted to take over the worlds and rule them with the Bureau!”
“That was just a ruse to get the Senior Circle on my side,” the Director explained. “They wouldn’t have ever helped me if they knew my true plans.”
“What about those two goons you brought with you?” Bugs wondered. “I guess they’re okay with the destruction of reality too?”
And then the Bunny burst out laughing. 
“What do you find so funny, Mr. Bunny?” the Director smirked. 
“On top of how amazingly you fail at sounding intimidating with Mickey’s squeaky voice,” Bugs chuckled. “You could never destroy all reality simply by killing a human head that’s lived on far longer than it should have.”
“Oh, but I can,” the Director smiled again and the room almost went completely dark. “Tell them, Walt.”
“You have to stop him!” Disney pleaded to Lauren and the others. “He’s mad! You see, what I discovered in death almost made me mad as well. I learned why Earth is the only world to have branched out to other universes, why we’re at the center of it all. It is because this world is the crux of reality, the keystone of Creation. If it goes, then so too do all the others!”
“But he’s not destroying the world,” Lauren tried to make sense of it all even as she struggled to free herself from the net while Bugs and the ponies did the same. “He’s destroying you!”
“That’s just it, though!” Disney exclaimed. “There’s also a reason human beings are different from all the Animated worlds and all other worlds out there. There’s a reason we live on this crux of Creation—it’s because we humans are the pillars of all reality! We don't create worlds, but we do support their existence merely by being alive. Branching out from us from the keystone via us, all other universes are held up in existence! If a human dies naturally, then he or she is replaced by another pillar of reality. But if a human is killed, even by themselves, then the pillar crumbles and the world supported by them falls! The worlds are replaced so quickly that hardly anyone notices, not even the scientists who study Animation. But the more imaginative a person is, the more worlds they hold up. And I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but I’m the pillar of all the Animated worlds I ever discovered, and as a result I am the pillar of all worlds ever associated with my company! If I go, then hundreds of worlds will perish! The resulting void can’t be refilled with new worlds quickly enough, and Earth will be pulled into the inter-world black hole along with all other worlds around it! And, when Earth goes, so too does all reality! That’s why I was so fortified down here! If I go, then nothing will have ever existed!”
Lauren’s heart stopped cold.
“But why?!” Lauren exclaimed to the Director. “Why would you want to do this?!”
“Tell them that also,” the Director continued to smirk as he advanced on Disney. “Tell them how you failed to save me, and created a monster. Tell them…father.”
“FATHER?!” Bugs blurted.
Suddenly the form of Mickey Mouse shimmered back into that of the human Director, but he was standing as still as death. Then, with a whirring sound and a hiss of steam akin to Disney’s own release from his machine, the Director’s chest opened up, revealing electric wires and turning gears inside.
But the fact that the Director was a robot was the least surprising thing about the ordeal. For out of the mechanical husk hopped the one creature who could have defeated Mickey Mouse, for he was the one creature who preceded him.
“It can’t be…” Lauren whispered. Then, shouting, “But you’re just a myth!”
Oswald the Lucky Rabbit simply smiled again, walking calmly up to Disney’s head. 
“For the longest time, I was,” Oswald announced when he reached Disney at last and hopped up behind him, materializing a blade from behind his back and placing to Disney’s temple, preparing to slice it in. “I was the first Animated being Disney here found in a distant and now long-forgotten world. I was an orphan on the streets, and Walt took me in and raised me as his own. Disney was like a father to me. We even went on Animation Bureau missions together when I was old enough.”
“But I couldn’t save you,” Disney whispered, tears brimming in his eyes.
“SAVE ME?!” Oswald suddenly flew into a rage. “YOU REPLACED ME! In the early days, portal technology was still sketchy at best, and on one of the missions I didn’t arrive on  the other side. I was lost to the void between universes, cold and alone in the dark. But through some miracle I ended up on the shore of a distant world and worked my way back to Earth—but father here had already replaced me with that MOUSE. The only reason I took his form was to ensure that Mickey didn’t get in my way!”
“I looked everywhere for you!” Disney protested. “We spent years searching!”
“I SPENT YEARS IN THE NOTHINGNESS!” Oswald raged. “And now that’s where EVERYONE will spend eternity!”
“But he really did look everywhere for you!” Lauren tried to reason with the mad Rabbit. “It almost destroyed Disney’s career and his health! Psychologists from across the worlds believed that you were just some elaborate fantasy he had created, no one else even knew you were real!”
“I WAS REAL!” Oswald spat at her. “BUT NOW NOBODY’S EVER GOING TO BE REAL AGAIN!”
“Help us!” Lauren shouted to the goons, but they stood silent, resolute. “You can’t possibly go along with this!”
“They can’t hear you,” Oswald laughed maniacally. “They’re both hypnotized. Neither one of them even made it to the Senior Circle either—in fact, the only real reason I needed the Senior Circle was to keep Internal Affairs off my back while I deviated from my ‘job’ as Director to go looking for Disney! I knew his plans, and I knew he survived! But now, all of that’s about to change!
“But first…” Oswald mused. “Why don’t we make you suffer a little, eh, father? I mean, there’s no actual pain in ceasing to exist, even if it means you never ever were to begin with. Before that happens, I want you to feel a little of the pain I felt at being abandoned. I want you to watch as your precious ‘friends of Animation’ here die!”
“No!” Disney pleaded, crying now. “You can’t have become that much of a monster!”
“I’m only what you made me,” Oswald whispered in Disney’s ear. “Kill them!”
The goons stepped forward, each pulling out their knives and thinner guns. 
“NO!” Lauren shouted as they advanced on her friends. “Oswald, don’t do this!”
“You’re right,” Oswald said. Lauren’s eyes lit up. “Why kill them all at once? That’s too fast. You there, kill Ms. Faust first and then the rest one by one.”
Lauren watched as the armored goon turned to her, knife drawn, and leaned down to press it to her throat, placing a thickly gloved hand on her skull to keep her struggling from preventing his incision. Lauren looked pleadingly up into the dark visor the goon’s helmet bore, and saw in there something that made her cry out. At this close range, Lauren could see just enough of the hypnotized face inside the visor to tell that it was—
“Craig…?” Lauren gasped. “Craig! It’s me, Lauren! Oh, Craig, you have to remember, don’t do this!”
“He can’t hear you, remember?” Oswald chuckled.
“I never even got to tell you…” Lauren whispered as hypnotized Craig drew in closer with his knife. “…That I love you.”
“What?” 
Everyone in the room turned to face the new voice, coming from the place they had least expected it—right beside Lauren, emanating from Craig’s mask. 
“What did you say, Lauren?” Craig repeated, swaying slightly, seeming as if he was in a daze. 
“I love you,” Lauren repeated, louder this time, a glimmer of hope in her watery eyes.
“…I…love you too,” Craig responded. “I was always too nervous to tell you…wait, what am I doing—this knife—I remember! You!”
Craig whirled around, pointing the knife at Oswald. 
“I remember everything now,” Craig announced. “You’re trying to destroy reality! You tried to get me to kill Lauren! You monster, how DARE you!”
Craig aimed his thinner gun and fired, knocking Oswald off of Disney and across the room. The not-so-Lucky Rabbit screamed in agony, melting into the anti-Animation acid.
Craig then turned to Lauren and slit her netting with his knife. Lauren leapt up and threw her arms around him. They embraced tightly, before Lauren lifted off Craig’s helmet and the two shared their first kiss.
The ponies looked away, embarrassed, while Bugs politely averted his eyes. In so doing, however, Bugs saw what everyone else was missing.
“I hate to break up the happy couple,” the Bunny announced hurriedly. “But we got a problem!”
“Huh?” Craig mumbled dazedly after Lauren released him from her passionate kiss. Lauren turned to follow Bugs’ pointed finger to see a black slime burst up from the thinner.
“Nooooooooo!” Oswald, or what was left of him, shrieked in a bloodcurdling wail. “I willlllllllll not let it end like thissssssssssssssss!”
Now nothing more than hate, the shadow of Oswald sprang through the air, scooped up his blade from where it had clattered to the floor, and plunged it into Disney’s head.
Disney screamed in pain as Oswald laughed before being blasted back with another shot from Craig’s thinner gun, but the damage was already done. As Oswald evaporated in a curtain of sickly smoke, laughing all the while, Disney gasped for breath, coughing up blood, his machines shorting and sparking as they desperately tried to keep him alive. 
It was clear that they wouldn’t be able to for long.
“NO!” Lauren screamed, rushing over to Disney. She tried to plug up the wound with her hand, putting pressure on the leakage, but Disney was too far gone.
“It’s too late for me…” Disney wheezed. “But there is still hope…get the Bureau to rally their forces…tug the Earth back from the void that will open when I die…you can’t keep it back forever, but you can prolong the end of reality…while you search for…the only ones who can close the rift…you must find…the First Ones…at the Edge of Time in the other worlds!”
“Who are the First Ones?!” Lauren cried. “Where do we find the Edge of Time?!”
But Disney was merely coughing and spluttering now, before his eyes closed at last, and the largest pillar in the history of reality died. The ground rumbled beneath the team’s feet. 
“It’s happening!” Twilight shouted as the room began to shake. Sections of the wall collapsed, debris rained down from the ceiling, and panels on the floor were sucked away into…nothingness. A gaping void opened up beneath them, sucking at all reality. “We have to get out of here, now!”
“Lauren, come on!” Craig shouted, trying to pull her away from Disney’s corpse. “We have to do what he said! We have to stop the Earth from falling into the void!”
“The shock from all those worlds being destroyed at once will have shorted out the Bureau’s portal system,” Lauren exclaimed, calmly but firmly. “You know we won’t be able to go to the other worlds like he said. 
“What are you saying?!” Craig questioned over the roaring of the air being pulled into the growing cracks in reality. “You can’t be thinking—”
“You go rally the Bureau’s forces on Earth,” Lauren commanded. “Get them to pull the Earth back for as long as you can. My team and I will look for these ‘First Ones.’”
“How?!” Craig demanded. “There’s no way to go across the worlds from here!”
“That growing rift leads to the void between the worlds,” Lauren explained hastily. “If Oswald could survive it, then so can we! We’ll avoid the black hole with Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy’s flying capabilities and get to another world from the outside through the void! You know it’s the only way! We have to do this!”
“I know,” Craig conceded. “I just—I just don’t want to lose you. After coming so close, I never want to have to face that again!”
“I love you too,” Lauren smiled, kissing Craig once more. “We’ll be back before you know it!”
Lauren raced forward, unsheathing her own Bureau standard issue knife, and freed to ponies from the netting. 
“You guys ready?” Lauren inquired. “This’ll be the toughest journey yet.”
“Ready!” the ponies announced in unison.
Lauren and the ponies all grabbed onto the net while Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash picked up the ends of the ropes in their mouths. With a blast of creamy yellow and rainbow speed, the team raced into the void, seeking out the nearest world they could use to reach all the rest. There, individual portals set up by the Bureau but not connected to the Bureau’s main system would transport them across as many worlds as the Bureau had ever explored, and through them Lauren and the ponies would find the First Ones, or die trying.
. . .
> Chapter 9
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 9
“Hang on!” Lauren shouted over the reality-winds gushing through the void. To say such a thing was hardly necessary, as the ponies and Bugs could do little more than cling to the tattered ropes with their teeth as the shrieking roars of the nothingness clawed at them like a raspy beast of un-being. 
To look at the void was like being blind—it was truly nothingness itself, the absence of all colors and shapes and anything resembling light. That is not to say it was black either, for even ‘black’ is something; it is an idea, a manifestation of fear. This was nothing, nothing at all, and even the absence of color was sucked away into it, never to be seen again. 
Fluttershy had never been so scared in her life, but the knowledge that her friends’ lives depended on her being brave right now kept her strong, wings flapping furiously against the tug of the back hole. Rainbow Dash did the same, utilizing all of her strength to steer the group away from the hole, anywhere else, but in the deepest part of the multicolored pegasus’ heart she feared even her speed would not be enough.
But, try as they might, the void was relentless—and it was the force of the death of a thousand worlds against the weighed-down wing beats of two small, frightened ponies. Like baby birds trying to resist the fury of a hurricane, the ponies were fighting a losing battle.
“Can’t—hold—on—much—longer—” Rainbow gasped, straining against the pull of the void with a force that felt like it was ripping her wings out of their very sockets. For all she knew, it very well could be.
“Don’t you DARE give up!” 
The group, shielding their eyes from the blade-like winds, looked up to see a fiery determination in the eyes of the pony they had least expected it from. Though given how she had come through for her friends in the arena, maybe they shouldn’t have been that surprised after all. 
“We CAN do this!” Fluttershy called encouragingly to Rainbow Dash, and the cyan pegasus nodded her head in confirmation. If Fluttershy could do this, then no matter how hard it was, so could she—besides, she wasn’t about to let herself be beaten. Her cutie mark was based on determination AND winning, after all—and winning right now meant beating the void.
“Let’s GO!” Rainbow Dash roared, and Fluttershy zoomed alongside her as the two skyrocketed away from the edge of nothingness. The void seemed to roar with fury at its lost meal, only pulling at them all the harder, but the ponies refused to give up. The team could see more than blindness now, more than their own small candle in the darkness, as the multitude of worlds falling into the black hole rushed passed them. The group skirted this one and that, barrel-rolling under and over the mountaintops and rivers of the doomed universes as their planets screamed out in deathly fear. 
“We need to find a world beyond the event horizon!” Lauren called to the two pegasi. “Try to find one that isn’t moving!”
“There!” Fluttershy yelled victoriously, pointing a hoof towards a shining orb of stars and planets that didn’t appear to have been touched by the pull of the void. In fact, on the far horizon, no worlds seemed to have yet been affected, meaning that the event horizon was just below them. 
“Brace yourselves!” Lauren commanded as the world came rising up to meet them. “We’re entering a world through its world-wall! There won’t be the protection of a portal! There’s no telling what could happen!”
“You mean we might not even be able to get in?!” Rainbow Dash asked in horror. “We flew all this way to meet a dead end?!”
“We’ll be able to pass through, all right,” Lauren answered. “But a world-wall is the most concentrated section of Animated radiation in an entire world other than its core. With that much Animated radiation, we could come out the other side perfectly fine or face the force of ten-thousand nuclear explosions!”
Before Lauren could explain what a nuclear explosion was, though—and the ponies surmised that one would be pretty bad, let alone ten-thousand—the team slammed through the world wall and into a whole new universe. 
. . .
“…Oh, my HEAD…” Lauren moaned, coughing slightly as if something was stuck in her throat. To tell the truth, she did feel a little hoarse. Maybe she’d inadvertently swallowed something when they crash-landed in…whatever world this was. Lauren only hoped that the metallic taste in her mouth was left over from whatever she’d swallowed—probably some rocks or something, she couldn’t bare it if she’d swallowed dirt, or worse, depending on where they’d landed—rather than blood. 
Lauren put a hand down on the soft grass of the this new land and tried to raise herself up, but fell back down instantly, still coughing profusely. And something hadn’t felt right when she did—her hand, the feel of her body—
“I can’t believe it…” Twilight breathed in awe. “This is…it can’t be…”
“It is!” Fluttershy jumped for joy. “We’re back in Equestria! Lauren, the world we landed in is—”
Fluttershy got no further when she screamed.
“What is it—” Rarity inquired with concern, turning to face whatever Fluttershy had seen, and screamed as well. 
“What?” Lauren asked, getting worried herself now, painfully opening her eyes at last to see her pony friends and Bugs looking down at her with a mixture of awe and fear. “What is it?”
“Uh, Lauren…?” Bugs asked. “Do you…feel alright?”
“To tell you the truth, I’ve never had such a rush of adrenaline in all my life. But on top of that, I feel really, really weird,” Lauren admitted with a shaky laugh. She tried to raise herself up off the ground again, but her hands still felt all wrong. Lauren shot a look at them to see what the matter was and screamed herself. Lauren’s brain was unable to understand what her eyes were seeing, which was saying something, since her eyes were now much larger and could thus see far more of the new world she’d awoken to, and the new body she’d awoken into. “H-how—is this—HOOVES?!”
Lauren bolted upright, towering over the ponies who cowered momentarily in fear while Bugs took an uneasy step back. Lauren stared down at where her hands used to be, which had been replaced with hooves at the ends of two long, slender white legs. Two additional legs supported Lauren’s tight, thin body in the back, also stomping the ground wildly with hooves as the new pony struggled to maintain her balance on a quadruped frame. 
“What the buck happened to me?!” Lauren shouted, then paused when she realized what she’d said. Instead of the word Lauren had been thinking, the word that had come out was ‘buck.’ “What the hay? Fudge?! Darn it! I can’t even curse?!”
“Most modern Animation IS censored,” Bugs pointed out. “And as this is what I assume to be the undiscovered world these little ponies hail from, that would include them. Now, back in MY day, we could say whatever we wanted…”
“BUT WHY AM I A HORSE?!” Lauren demanded angrily, stomping a front hoof and snorting. 
“Technically, I think you’re a pony,” Rainbow Dash breathed. “And you look just like—”
“Lauren, you said anything could happen when we passed through the Animated radiation of the world-wall, right?” Twilight cut in hurriedly. “I think ‘anything’ just happened. I think when you passed through, you became fitted to this world, to Equestria…”
“But why didn’t it affect anypony else?!” Lauren wanted to know. Then, realizing what she had just said, “I mean anyo—anybo—anyp-p-p-ONY?! I can’t even say those two simple words?! They’re not even offensive!”
“Must be the linguistics of the show,” Bugs explained. “You’ve been fit to character.”
“But I’m not a character! I’m not even Animated!” Lauren protested heatedly. “I’m a human being!”
“Not anymore,” Bugs said, smiling. “The Animated radiation must have turned you into an Animated being. You’re one of us now, Lauren! No more need to hang out with those anarchist humans!”
“But…but I…” Lauren trailed off. It was true, humanity had never done anything good for her—except her parents, before the rest of humanity took them away from her all those years ago—but did that mean she had already turned her back on them? Even if Lauren had, she had been BORN a human, had been a human her whole life. How could that all just end so suddenly? There had to be a way to change back, right? 
But did she even want to?
Wait, where had THAT come from?! Of course Lauren wanted to change back! She knew who she was, and she knew what she was. She was a friend to the Animated, but that didn’t mean she had to BE one, did it? And…and…
But try as she might, Lauren saw less and less reason why she really should be concerned with changing back. Would saving the worlds really be that much harder as a pony than as a human? Sure, humans had determination and ingenuity—but so did many Animated beings, even if not to the extent that the humans did. And Animated beings never died, never really felt any true pain…they weren’t cruel, they lacked even the capacity to be truly vicious (well, most of them did, anyway)…and they had never hurt her. Never once had an Animated being ever hurt Lauren, not like the humans had. And now she was no longer part of that race of prejudiced imperialists with superiority complexes, as she’d always called the anti-Animated faction that currently ruled the world governments. Not all humans were bad, far from it—most were just misguided—but, to tell the truth, it was humanity that had hurt Lauren, not the Animated. And now she WAS one.
Lauren stood still for a moment, deep in thought. 
Was there any real reason she would want to go back to humanity? Surely Lauren could find some way to free her Animated friends trapped in the Toon Towns on Earth, just as she  could as a human Animation Agent. And saving the worlds would surely get them free anyway, wouldn’t it? If Lauren and her team did that, the world governments wouldn’t deny her the freedom of her Animated friends, or even of all Animated beings in all Toon Towns worldwide, would they?
The more Lauren thought about it, the more being Animated truly did seem to be better than being human.
But Craig’s not Animated.
Lauren stopped, startled. No, Craig WASN’T Animated. And Craig loved her, and Lauren loved him. And just because Lauren had become Animated through going through the world-wall didn’t mean Craig could become Animated as well, and she didn’t want to have to ask such a big sacrifice of anyone anyway. Truly anything could happen with a concentration of so much Animated radiation, and Lauren knew the likelihood of the event that changed her being duplicated were in the zillions-to-ones range. The radiation could just as easily kill Craig as do anything else, just as it could have done to Lauren.
And with that, Lauren made up her mind—there had to be a way to reverse this thing that had been done to her. There had to be a way to become human again. If not for her, then for Craig. 
“Lauren, you alright there, sugar cube?” Applejack wondered. “You kind a’ zoned out there for a sec.”
“Yes, I’m alright,” Lauren answered, breaking out of her thoughts. “It’s just a little shocking, is all.”
“I’m sure it must be,” Twilight agreed. “I mean, on top of becoming a pony—”
“You’re an alicorn!” Rainbow Dash finished what she had been trying to say earlier. “You look just like Princess Celestia!”
“Who?” Lauren inquired. 
“She’s the ruler of Equestria with her sister Princess Luna,” Pinkie explained. “They’re earth ponies and pegasi and unicorns all in one!”
“You mean, I have wings?” Lauren realized, turning to see that, indeed, feathery appendages were folded neatly at her side. Lauren hadn’t even noticed them before, but with a single thought they twitched, and then with another thought Lauren found she could even make them spread out as if she was about to take flight. Which, Lauren also realized, she probably could do now. 
“And a horn, darling,” Rarity indicated with a pointed hoof, looking up admiration at the long pearly sword pointing proudly out of Lauren’s scarlet mane. Lauren crossed her eyes in an attempt to look at it, but gave up when all she could see was a blur that made her dizzy. Spotting a pond in the clearing nearby, Lauren trotted uncertainly over on her four new legs, Bugs and the shorter-legged ponies hurrying to keep up. Peering in, Lauren got a good look at herself for the first time.
There was indeed a tall, shimmering horn emanating from Lauren’s skull, easily three times the length of Twilight’s or Rarity’s. Lauren stared at her horn’s reflection down a short muzzle, which she opened experimentally to see her larger equine tongue and all-molar teeth. It looked like it would be nothing but vegetarian dishes from now on, or at least until she could get changed back to normal. IF she could get changed back to normal…
NO! Lauren scolded herself for thinking like that. There had to be a way, and once this was all over with Lauren would find it, and she and Craig would be happy together. She hoped.
Lauren shook her head to dislodge the unpleasant thoughts and turned to see a dark spot on her otherwise snowy-white coat, right above her hind leg. It was a small symbol, much like the ones adorning the flanks of each of the smaller ponies. Lauren hadn’t paid them much mind at first, but over time she had come to realize that each symbol represented an aspect of the pony who bore it—Twilight had the magical starburst, Rarity the sparkling diamonds, Applejack the apples, Rainbow Dash the multicolored lightning, Fluttershy the gentle butterflies, and Pinkie Pie the party balloons. What was it the ponies had called them? Cutie marks?
Lauren looked eagerly to see what aspect of herself would be reflected. But, instead of one of the many items an Animation Agent used, or even some kind of symbol relating to how she was a friend to Animation, all Lauren saw was a quill and an inkwell. 
Lauren’s erect equine ears drooped slightly. What was a quill and inkwell supposed to reflect about her?
“Lauren, I didn’t know you were a writer,” Twilight commented, seeing Lauren’s cutie mark for the first time as well. “Wait, what’s wrong?”
“I’m not a writer,” Lauren said. “I don’t know what this is supposed to signify.”
“But...Cutie marks always show a pony’s special talent,” Pinkie Pie pointed out. “…don’t they?”
“I thought so,” Twilight observed. “But maybe since Lauren was originally human, her cutie mark means something else?”
“Like what?” Lauren asked.
“I’ll have to look into it,” Twilight admitted. “But I do have some great books on cutie marks at the Ponyville Library, and there are even more references to them in the Canterlot Archives! We can meet up with Princess Celestia there too, I’m sure she could explain it!”
“Remember, though, we have a schedule to keep,” Lauren said uncertainly. “Every moment we don’t spend looking for these First Ones is another moment the Earth might get sucked into the black hole and destroy reality.”
“Oh, yeah,” Twilight realized. “So…how DO we look for these First Ones, anyway?”
“Good question,” Lauren said. “I don’t even remember hearing any rumors around the Bureau about entities called the ‘First Ones.’”
“Maybe we could look into the libraries for them?” Twilight wondered hopefully. “I mean, if they’re some kind of cosmic entities capable of closing that…thing…we just escaped, then surely there’ll be information about them somewhere. You can’t keep that much power a secret.”
“True,” Lauren agreed. “But that’s what worries me. If they’re so powerful, how come none of us have ever heard of them?”
“Maybe they’re just so old that they’d be stuck in the ancient histories sections,” Twilight surmised. “They might have even been dismissed as mythologies if they’re really, really, REALLY old.”
“That’s a good point,” Lauren reasoned. “The library it is, then.”
Twilight squealed with glee. 
“Alright, libraries are fine and all, but where in the world are we?” Rainbow Dash wondered. “I recognize this as Equestria, but I don’t recognize it as much else. We could be anywhere!”
“Actually, I do recognize this place,” Rarity spoke, staring up at the trees in the clearing all around them. “I couldn’t ever forget such dreadfulness!”
“What do you mean?” Applejack asked.
“Don’t you all remember?” Rarity inquired, but the rest of the ponies simply shook their heads, leaving Lauren and Bugs just as confused. “Why, this is somewhere in the Everfree Forest! I’d recognize those ghastly trees anywhere!”
“You’re right!” Twilight realized. “This IS the Everfree Forest! I can feel the anomalous nature of the place. Nature is taking care of itself…ugh, it gives me the creeps!”
“Nature being nature gives you the creeps?” Lauren echoed. “Am I missing something here?”
“Only if I am,” Bugs added.
“Everypony knows that nature is taken care of by ponies,” Rainbow Dash explained. “Wait…do humans not take care of nature on Earth? Or do bunnies not do it in your world, Bugs?”
“Not really,” Lauren replied. “Nature actually takes care of itself in most worlds.”
“That is so weird,” Pinkie Pie commented. “Could you imagine clouds raining whenever they wanted to?”
“Anyway, which way to the libraries from here?” Lauren asked, trying to get the team back on the task at hoof. At han—hannnn—ugh, she couldn’t even think those words?!
“I’ll check!” Rainbow Dash announced, launching skyward. Once she had cleared the treetops (and a few clouds), Rainbow scanned the environment and then dashed back down to earth, pointing with a hoof. “It’s that way to Ponyville.”
The team set off, Lauren trying to walk slower with her longer legs so that the rest could keep up, though walking on four legs in the first place was just as much a challenge. Lauren had to admit that the woods were indeed creepy, though for her it was not because of the reasons the ponies had expressed. Every rustling shadow, every distant animal call was laced with the wild, untamable fury of nature, refusing to allow civilization to ever penetrate its boundaries. Even the ponies, the natural inhabitants of this land who lived in harmony with nature, where trespassers here, and the Forest knew it and wanted them out. It was almost as if a living, breathing entity was always just out of sight, lurking at the corners of one’s eyes, willing them with a palpable animosity to get out and never return.
The team was only too glad to oblige, and everyone breathed a sigh of relief when the sunlight shining down through the dark leaves overhead began to grow brighter as the trees thinned out and gave way to a lush meadow. Not too far off they could all see a small schoolhouse and the adjacent playground, and beyond that down a winding dirt road, the tiny village of Ponyville itself. 
“You’re going to love Ponyville, Lauren! There’s so much to do and so many smiling, friendly faces to meet! Oh, I know, I should throw you a welcome party at Sugar Cube Corner!” Pinkie Pie rambled on. “There’ll be cakes and sweets and goodies and fizzy soda!”
“But will Ponyville love me?” Lauren wondered aloud. “You guys said I was an ‘alicorn,’ and from the sound of it that’s not a common thing here in Equestria.”
“Actually, the only alicorns are the Princesses,” Twilight admitted. “So, this might be…interesting.”
“What do you mean?” Lauren inquired.
“Everypony is going to think you’re a Princess too,” Twilight explained. “The royals are always alicorns. In fact, there’s never been an alicorn who wasn’t royalty.”
“What exactly is an alicorn?” Lauren questioned, beginning to feel a little uneasy. “What makes them so special that they’re always rulers, besides the fact that they’re three ponies in one? That on its own doesn’t sound all that different from anypony else.” 
“Well, it wouldn’t be,” Twilight went on. “But you’re right in thinking that alicorns are more than three ponies in one. The main difference between an alicorn and a regular pony is their magic. Princess Celestia raises the Sun every morning, and Princess Luna brings out the night. And on top of that, they’re kind of…immortal.”
“What?” Lauren stopped, and the ponies behind her almost ran into her. “You mean this is one of the worlds where Animated beings can actually die?”
“Yes, but most only die of old age,” Twilight finished. “The Princesses, though, have lived for thousands of years already, and they don’t look a day older from millennia to millennia.”
“That doesn’t sound like royalty,” Lauren voiced. “It sounds like godhood. I don’t want to be a god! They have all those responsibilities, and they have to watch all of their friends…”
Lauren couldn’t finish, couldn’t speak her fear that she would be forced to live on as Disney had as everypony she ever knew and loved died around her. Humans hardly lived a hundred years if they were extremely fortunate, and according to these ponies millennia were nothing to alicorns. Would Lauren have to watch as Craig withered and grew old and eventually turned to dust while she remained ageless and trapped in the world of the living? No! There had to be a way to change back, before any of that happened. There HAD to be.
“It…well…it is,” Twilight admitted, seeing no other way around it. “The Princesses are an integral part of Equestria, just as Discord is their antithesis. This world can’t run without them. And Celestia has told me how she gets lonely from year to year, rejected by time as the rest of us are forced to float down its endless river of mortality.”
“I can’t stay like this,” Lauren spoke, voicing her concern to the team for the first time. “There has to be a way to change me back to a human. I don’t want to be left behind by everypony!”
“Don’t worry, Lauren!” Fluttershy consoled. “You said that most Animated beings live forever, right? You won’t be lonely with your other Animated friends, and besides, we’re not going anywhere for a long, long time.”
“Fluttershy’s right,” Rainbow Dash agreed. “We’ll stick by you for as long as we got!”
“But…Craig…” Lauren sniffed, lowering her head. “What about him?”
“Oh, I hadn’t thought of that,” Applejack realized with the rest. “If he’s stuck as a human and you’re stuck as an alicorn pony, then…”
“I’m sure we’ll find a way to change you back,” Twilight insisted, placing a consoling hoof on Lauren. “We can look into it at the libraries as well, and even if we don’t find anything, I’m sure the First Ones can help when we find them! If they’re powerful enough to close the rift, then surely they can reverse the effects of the Animated radiation!”
“You’re right,” Lauren said determinedly. “The First Ones could change me back, if we don’t find a way to do so sooner.”
“In the meantime, though, why don’t you give being Animated a chance?” Bugs suggested. “At least until we do find these First Ones. It doesn’t have to be all bad—being Animated is great!”
“Indeed,” Rarity spoke up. “Trying to enjoy your new form while it lasts would be far better than only focusing on its downsides.”
“You’re right,” Lauren repeated. “You all are. I’m sorry, it’s just, I thought I might have to lose you all and Craig, and that’s just something I couldn’t face. Thank you, all of you.”
“That’s what friends are for!” Bugs announced, patting Lauren on the back. “Now, about this library…”
“Oh!” Twilight perked up instantly. “It’s right down the road!”
The lavender unicorn hurried off, the others following close behind, into Ponyville. Before they reached the outskirts, though, Twilight realized something and stopped abruptly. 
“One more thing before anypony sees you,” Twilight said to Lauren. “Try not to use your magic until we get a better understanding of your…condition. Young unicorns often have trouble controlling their magic and we don’t know what’ll happen if magic equal to Celestia’s or Luna’s gets out of hoof.”
“Good idea,” Lauren nodded. “Though to be honest, I wouldn’t know how to use this horn if my life depended on it.”
Which it wouldn’t, now that she was immortal. No, don’t think like that. Everything will be fine—just focus on finding the First Ones for now.
“Alright, everypony ready?” Twilight asked the team, and everyone nodded their heads. “Then let’s go!”
Twilight marched into town, the others following her to the library. They didn’t get far before they saw the first of the townsfolk.
“Hey, Mrs. Cake!” Pinkie shouted as a blue and pink earth pony stepped out of what appeared—and smelled—to be a large bakery.
The earth pony turned abruptly and gasped.
“Pinkie Pie?” Mrs. Cake blurted, her face awash with shock. Then, shaking herself out of her surprise, the earth pony rushed over to see her employee and boarder and her friends. “Where have you been?! Where have all of you been?! All of Equestria’s been looking for you, the Princesses—” 
Mrs. Cake stopped when she realized who else had been added to Pinkie’s group of friends. The tall, bipedal bunny would have been unnerving enough in itself, but the tall, white figure standing over all of them made Mrs. Cake’s eyes go wide. She instantly dropped to the ground in a low bow.
“Oh, I’m so sorry your majesty, I didn’t see you,” Mrs. Cake belted in a rush, still cowering.
“I’m not a Princess,” Lauren told her kindly. When Mrs. Cake didn’t get up, Lauren looked uncertainly to her friends, who shrugged their shoulders, equally at a loss as to what to do. “Uh, arise, my subject.”
Mrs. Cake complied, never taking her eyes off of Lauren. 
“Mrs. Cake?” Twilight tried to break into Mrs. Cake’s spellbound stare. “This is Lauren; she’s a friend of ours from…far away. And you really don’t have to bow or anything. Lauren is telling the truth about not being a Princess. Speaking of which, what were you saying about the Princesses?”
“Oh, right,” Mrs. Cake shook her head to clear her thoughts, turning to Twilight. “Celestia and Luna have been worried sick, and all Equestria with them. All of you just disappeared!”
“I didn’t even think about that,” Twilight realized, smacking he face with her hoof. “We’ve been gone without an explanation for all this time! Poor Celestia, we have to let her know we’re all okay right away!”
“You can,” Mrs. Cake smiled. “She and Luna are actually at your library, Twilight, along with half the Royal Guard. They’re all looking for clues to your disappearance. Where have you all been, anyway?”
“It’s a long story,” Twilight replied. “But we better tell it to the Princesses first. Come on, everypony! And thanks, Mrs. Cake!”
Twilight rushed off in the direction of her library, Lauren and the rest in hot pursuit, leaving a thoroughly confused Mrs. Cake to watch them depart in a cloud of dust. Rounding a building in Ponyville’s Town Square, Twilight ran right into a web of yellow tape surrounding her library home. The tape all read PONY POLICE LINE, DO NOT CROSS, and several ponies of the Royal Guard were milling about and looking official. 
“What was that?” came a voice from inside the hollow tree in response to Twilight’s collision with the tape, which had sent her rebounding off the rubbery slingshots into the rest of the group and caused them all to end up in a tumbled heap. Twilight’s eyes lit up when she heard the voice, and she quickly untangled herself from the pile to rush up and meet the voice’s owner as she trotted out of the tree. “Twilight! You’re here! You’re all here!”
“Yes, Princess!” Twilight agreed, bouncing up and down eagerly in front of her mentor. “We’re so sorry we had to leave without telling you—it was an emergency—”
“I’m sure it was,” Celestia smiled. “I’m just glad to have you all back, but it would be good to hear your story. An emergency, you say? What does it concern?”
“The very existence of all Equestria, and more,” Twilight answered gravely. 
A flash of fear lit up the crowned alicorn’s eyes. 
“Come inside,” Celestia said, ushering the ponies still disentangling themselves from the pile into the tree. They all complied one by one as they were freed, until Bugs and Lauren, who had been at the bottom, finally stood up and dusted themselves off. When Celestia saw these last two, her eyes went even wider and moistened. The solar Princess’ jaw dropped. “I can’t believe it…Is that, is that really you…Mother?”
. . .

> Chapter 10
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 10
“MOTHER?!” the rest of the ponies all gasped in unison. “But you…she…Lauren…Celestia…?!”
Celestia simply continued to stare at Lauren with an awestruck, teary-eyed expression. The solar Princess walked slowly towards the new alicorn and stopped at what for Lauren was an uncomfortably close distance. Then, all at once, Celestia threw her forelegs around Lauren in a tight hug, tears flowing down her muzzle. 
“Oh, Mother!” Celestia wept. “I never thought I’d see you again! What happened?! After Discord struck, we all thought—”
“Whoa, whoa—” Lauren stammered, completely at a loss as to how to act in this situation. Tentatively returning the hug and patting Celestia on the back, Lauren tried to console the Princess with “Uh, there, there, it’s all right…”
Celestia at last released Lauren and wiped the tears from her eyes, looking up at the red-and-white alicorn like a small, confused child would. 
“Oh, Mother,” Celestia smiled despite her still-wet eyes. “It’s so good to finally see you again, to know you’re alright!”
“I’m alright,” Lauren agreed. “But, uh…I’m not really sure how to say this…”
“What is it, Mother?” Celestia questioned curiously, her eyes lighting up. “Are you ready to return to your position as Queen of Equestria? Luna and I would gladly hand it back over to you, we have refused the title ourselves all these years, ruling only as Princesses, as the Queen’s daughters, not as her replacements…”
“Queen?” Lauren echoed, more surprised now than ever. “Let’s not get carried away here—”
“Lauren, I thought you said you had never been to Equestria before you tracked Discord here from Earth!” Twilight wondered aloud, just as utterly confused as everyone else. “I also thought this was your first time as a pony—”
“It is,” Lauren hastily answered. Then, turning to Celestia, Lauren said “I’m sorry to say this, but you must have me mistaken for somepony else. I don’t know who you are apart from what Twilight and the others have told me about you.”
“You don’t…remember me?” Celestia’s lip quavered, her eyes moistening once again. “Or Luna? How could you forget, Mother? It must have been Discord—he must have done something to you to make you forget—but that doesn’t matter now! You’re back, and we can work this out! We can help you to remember! Oh, I’m so, SO happy you’ve finally returned, Mother!”
“I’m not…” Lauren tried to say, unsure if she should. “I think you’re confused. Maybe losing your student and her friends for so long has unsettled you. My name is Lauren; I’m from a planet called Earth in a parallel universe. This isn’t even my real form—my true species are called ‘humans’—I was just turned into what you see before you when we entered your world.”
“This is terrible!” Celestia wailed. “Discord has brainwashed you! Don’t worry, we’ll get the best medics in Equestria to help you, Mother—”
“I’m not your Mother!” Lauren stated firmly, stamping a hoof. 
Celestia stopped cold, and the look of utter, horrified sorrow on her face almost made Lauren’s heart stop equally cold. 
“I’m not even really a pony,” Lauren tried to explain. “And Discord didn’t do anything to me. Well, he did try to kill me once, but I defeated him, and now he’s in a maximum security prison in the most secure known building in all the explored worlds.”
Celestia lowered her head, tears falling slowly down her muzzle, silent. 
“…Princess Celestia?” Twilight ventured. “I’m sorry to say this, but I can vouch for Lauren. We’ve been with her all this time, and everything she says is true. She must only look like your mother—”
“No,” Celestia said, also firm, but almost too quietly to hear. “You call her ‘Lauren,’ but I call her Mother. Maybe ‘Lauren’ really is her real name, but I would know my Mother anywhere. It’s not just the way she looks—the fiery determination in her eyes, the fierce spirit that refuses to give up fighting for a righteous cause no matter how difficult or lost it may seem. I don’t know how, I don’t know why, but this is my Mother. Let me show you.”
Celestia’s horn glowed, and before any of the team could react, there was a flash. 
And then darkness.
Fluttershy squeaked in fear, but the dark space the ponies had been teleported en masse to was just as quickly illuminated with a spark from Celestia’s horn. Wherever Celestia had planned on taking them to try and prove her claim, though, this place was not what the team had expected. Unlike everything else Lauren had seen of the pleasant, peaceful, happy Equestria, this place was dark even with magical illumination, the shadows lingering at the corners of the light like the monsters of nightmares just barely kept at bay by the rays of dawn. The air was cold and somehow felt wet as well, and the sides of the small enclosure were grooved and slightly spiked with sharp rocks. A long tunnel led up and away behind the team, but an ornate, thick golden pair of doors faced them in the front.
“What I’m about to show you,” Celestia spoke gravely, that grim determination still in her voice. “Has never been seen by anypony’s eyes but those of my sister and I. In fact, we both vowed never to let anypony else see it, as a promise to our Mother as well as ourselves. In fact, Luna also deserves to know of this…”
Celestia’s horn glowed again, and in another bright flash of light, a midnight-blue alicorn with mane and tail flowing like the starry skies stood before them.
“…and that is why I want patrols doubled in Manehatten until my big sister’s student and her friends are found, and furthermore…” the dark alicorn spoke in a regal, formal tone until she suddenly realized that she wasn’t where she had been just a second ago. “What—big sister! What’s going on? Why have you summoned me? I was just in the middle of an important meeting with the Royal Guard, and—”
The alicorn pony who Lauren correctly surmised was Princess Luna stopped dead just as Celestia had when she saw Bugs, Twilight and her friends, and Lauren. Luna’s eyes went especially wide when they fell upon Lauren. 
“M…M…” the lunar Princess tried to say, before collapsing in a faint on the cold stone floor. 
Celestia smiled wanly, and then knelt down to touch her even more brightly lit horn to Luna’s forehead. The Princess of the night woke with a start, saw Lauren, and froze up again. Celestia proceeded to whisper something in Luna’s ear, the midnight blue alicorn listening intently. After a few uncomfortable moments while the others waited in silence, Luna nodded her head at what the team took to be the conclusion of Celestia’s explanation of what was going on…or at least, as much as the solar Princess knew and thought was going on.
Luna rose slowly after Celestia pulled her mouth away from her little sister’s ear, and moved up uncomfortably close to Lauren just as Celestia had done. But Luna did not break out into sobs or throw herself into embracing Lauren, simply looking on her with those big, dark eyes. 
Lauren tried to back up, but there was nothing but solid rock behind her.
“Is it…really you?” Luna inquired. 
“It is, though she herself doesn’t think so, just as I told you,” Celestia answered for Lauren. “Twilight and her friends have somehow found Mother, and I wish to hear all about where they found her and how they even found out about her in the first place, but before that we must remind Mother of who she is. Discord has done something to make her forget herself, and…us.”
“Forgive me if I am…uncertain of how to react…” Luna apologized to Lauren. “You see, I guess you remember no more than I do…but I was just a filly when you…were taken away. Celestia has told me so many stories about you. I look forward, so very, very much, to getting to know you as my big sister did…Mother.”
Lauren smiled uncertainly, not wanting to repeat that she was indeed no more Luna’s mother than she was Celestia’s. However, she was curious as to what Celestia wanted to show them. How in the worlds could Lauren be mistaken for the mother of two equine goddesses in a different universe? Whatever was going on, Lauren wanted to get to the bottom of it probably just as much as Twilight and the other ponies did. After all, if they were going to search for answers to the question of the First Ones, having the help of Equestria’s rulers would be very convenient, and it didn’t seem like they would receive that until this ‘Mother’ business had been sorted out.
Luna turned to Celestia, who nodded and spoke “Now I cannot stress enough how much Luna and I—how much all of Equestria—cannot allow for the information you all are about to see to get out. It could cause widespread panic, or worse. It is a riddle that has dumbfounded and inspired Luna and I for eons, and I couldn’t bear to think of the damage it would wreak on mortal minds if too many found out. I only allow you six and the…rabbit…in because I have known most of you well enough and long enough to entrust you with such a secret. I believe your minds will be able to handle it. However, Luna and I would not think any less of you should you decide not to enter with us, but I must insist that Mother sees what lies beyond this door we have kept hidden under the Canterlot palace all these many, long years.”
“Big sister?” Luna spoke up. “Maybe…maybe Twilight and her friends really should not be allowed to enter the Chamber at all. If not for the sake of the secret, for the sake of their mortal minds. I know you trust them and their ability to retain their sanity after all they’ve been through in defending our world, but perhaps even that might not prepare them for this.”
“…I see your wisdom, little sister,” Celestia agreed. “Perhaps it would be best if you and your friends waited for us out here, Twilight.”
“No,” Lauren spoke firmly, the team and the Princesses turning to her in surprise. Even Lauren herself was surprised to her herself speaking to two goddess rulers in such a commanding tone, but Lauren wasn’t about to forsake the company and support of her friends, even for a few moments. Celestia and Luna might not trust the ponies and Bugs, even if it was for their own  safety, but Lauren knew that the team had witnessed more in the past few days than even Celestia and Luna had witnessed in all their many millennia. They had seen other universes, witnessed the rift of nothingness, and been charged with saving all of reality itself. Lauren was confident that whatever secret the Princesses had in store couldn’t be any more daunting than what the team had already seen. She hoped.
Celestia seemed like she wanted to say something, but was silent and nodded. 
“As you wish, Mother,” Celestia bowed. Turning to the golden doors, Celestia inserted her glowing horn into the hole in the center of what looked like a large lock. With a click, the doors slid open and into the walls of the cave-like tunnel. Celestia led the group through into a large cavern the likes of which the team had never seen. It reminded Lauren much of the ancient caves of Earth that archaeologists got so excited about, as the large cavern was decorated from floor to ceiling with what looked to be extraordinarily old paintings.
“It looks just like the cave paintings at Mesopo-mane-ia,” Twilight breathed, noting what Lauren guessed was the Equestrian equivalent of the Earthly caves she had just thought of. “These must be hundreds of thousands upon hundreds of thousands of years old!”
“Oh, they’re a good deal older than that,” Luna smiled. “These are what you could call Celestia’s first hoof-paintings, back when she herself was just a filly. Some of these date to before I was even born.”
The other ponies looked awestruck by this, and Lauren could only imagine how long ago that must be in pony terms, let alone human ones.  
“But they are more than just paintings,” Celestia explained. “I infused within each one a magical recording, a sort of imprint of my memories so that I could relive and never forget the stories within them.”	
“What does this have to do with Lauren, though, yer majesty?” Applejack wondered.
“They’re all about Mother,” Celestia continued. “About the times we shared together, in the earliest days of Equestria, when the world didn’t even fully exist yet. These memories tell of the stories Mother told me, back in the beginning, of the times BEFORE the beginning. What you are all about to see is not only the dawn of Equestria, but what came before.”
“But that’s impossible!” Lauren blurted. “Nopony’s ever been able to witness the birth of  world, no matter how hard we’ve searched to find such an event. All the worlds the Animation Bureau ever discovered had already existed long before we ever got there!”
Celestia and Luna looked confused for a moment, unsure of what this ‘Animation Bureau’ was. But, chalking it up to another of whatever strange memories had been shoved into their ‘Mother’s’ head in place of her ‘real’ memories, the two Princesses walked towards the largest painting on the cave wall and touched it with their glowing horns.
“Brace yourselves,” Celestia warned. “Experiencing the stories Mother told us so long ago is not something that has ever been done by mortals. This may be…shocking.”
Twilight and the others gulped, though Bugs didn’t look all that nervous. Lauren guessed that as an inter-world businessman, there probably wasn’t a lot that Bugs hadn’t seen. Nevertheless, he did look quite curious as to how Lauren was tied up in this undiscovered world. 
The painting Celestia and Luna were facing was the largest in the room, and was nothing more than a spiral with all the colors of the rainbow swirling out from its bright white center. In fact, if Lauren looked closer, she could see... 
“…Is that…me?” Lauren inquired, squinting her eyes at the tiny white seven-pointed white star at the center of the rainbow explosion. Indeed, upon closer inspection, the team could see four legs, two wings, a singular-horned head, and a wild scarlet mane and tail as if the tiny image was leaping up for joy. 
“It is indeed, Mother,” Celestia smiled. “I drew that the day after you told me the story of Equestria’s beginning. I never thought I would one day be the one to tell you the story. Hopefully, this will make things clearer.”
“Hopefully,” Lauren agreed. Even if Lauren didn’t agree with Celestia’s conviction, she did want to get to the bottom of this.
Celestia and Luna’s horns glowed brighter as the two sisters trotted forward towards the picture, leaned down to touch it in the central image of Lauren, and then stepped back. The picture began to glow with a light of its own, the rainbow colors pulsating with vibrancy as the image of Lauren grew in luminosity to an almost blinding white shine. Suddenly wind began to emanate from the picture as well, starting as a gentle warm breeze and rising to a roaring hurricane-like blast. The team tried to hold their ground as the lights and winds whirled around them, but the force was almost like being in the void all over again. Lauren and the rest shielded their eyes, until a last burst of light and the roaring wind shook them all. 
“…Mommy?”
Lauren opened her eyes. The voice that had spoken was unmistakably Celestia’s, though it was younger, somehow. It had seen so little of the world, and was scared of it. Lauren looked around for the source of the noise—she appeared to be in a small forest clearing, and assumed that the others were somewhere nearby—and stepped through the nearby bushes to find a much younger Celestia looking up hopefully at a spitting image of Lauren. Lauren couldn’t believe it—even the virtual reality training simulators at the Bureau hadn’t been able to capture this level of detail, especially when it came to the mirror images of oneself that were sometimes encountered in the programs. What surprised Lauren even more, though, was the fact that she was here at all.
“Mommy, will you tell me a bedtime story?” the filly Celestia asked, nuzzling up against the larger alicorn. 
“Certainly, Celestia,” the other Lauren smiled. It was quite disconcerting to hear one’s voice saying something that one never remembered saying. “What would you like to hear? Another one of your father’s adventures?”
Father?
“Can I hear about something you did?” the filly inquired.
“Something I did,” the other Lauren mused, thinking. “I’ve got it! How about how Equestria was made?”
“Ooh, that sounds good!” the little Celestia lit up.
“Okay, then,” the other Lauren smiled, leaning down to touch her horn to Celestia’s. There was another blinding flash, and suddenly, there was the void. Not darkness, but nothingness, just like when the team had crossed the worlds unaided by a portal. Lauren looked around frantically, but calmed when she realized that there was no immediate danger—on top of this being nothing more than virtual reality, this was supposedly set long before the black hole anyway, so there was no danger of being sucked into it and ceasing to exist. The other Lauren’s voice could be heard, echoing through the void despite the fact that there was neither a medium for the sound to travel through nor anything for it to echo off of. “In the beginning, there was nothing.”
“Nothing?” little Celestia’s voice came through, in the same echoing way the other Lauren’s had. “Like the sky at nighttime?”
“No, little one,” the other Lauren explained. “The night is something; it is the call of the owl, the whisper of the wind, the twinkling of the stars. Nothingness is the absence of all these things and of all things in general. It was in this nothingness that the world was born. 
“In the beginning,” the other Lauren went on. “There was nothing. Then into this nothing came a weary traveler, lost and alone.”
A speck of white light came shining through the nothingness, and as it drew closer Lauren could see that it was herself, still in alicorn pony form. But unlike the first Lauren was now, slightly worried and utterly confused, this other Lauren looked as if she had lost everything. Her eyes were red with crying that had left them dry of tears. 
“This traveler had failed to save those she loved, had watched them all die in front of her eyes,” the other Lauren’s voice went on. “There was a time when other worlds existed outside of Equestria—and though they lived lonely existences unaware of each other, the time when they became connected heralded their end. A twisted, evil monster threw the Crux of Reality into a black hole of nothingness and, try as they might, the traveler and her friends had been unable to stop his scheme from coming to fruition. Though they traversed the worlds for the First Ones to try and stop this monster, all they found of the only entities capable of closing the black hole before Reality could be destroyed was a  group of beings who, with all their power, refused to help them and in fact welcomed the end.”
Lauren’s heart stopped just as cold as Celestia’s had when Lauren declared herself to not be the solar Princess’ Mother. She had…failed? They had all failed? They had all ceased to exist, except for her?! No, this couldn’t be—how could Celestia have known all this if it wasn’t somehow…true?
“With the erasure of the Crux of Reality, all the worlds everywhere disappeared, as if they had never even existed,” the other Lauren’s voice continued. “The traveler should have ceased to exist as well, but for some reason, she did not. The traveler, fatigued from flying through the endless nothingness for what could have been moments and could have been eons, was about to find out why she had been spared when all else never was.”
The first Lauren watched intently, desperate for answers, as the form of the other Lauren looked around, hoping to see something in this expanse of naught, though knowing that she never would, not ever again. 
But there!
Both Laurens turned their attentions to a sudden spark of light, bearing all the colors of the rainbow in a swirling explosion of brilliance. The other Lauren rushed to it, the first Lauren (who considered and hoped herself to be the real Lauren) continuing to watch from afar. 
Out from the rainbow came thick dark lines that twined and formed themselves into the outlines of geometric shapes, becoming more complex as they joined together until they formed a solid platform. The other Lauren gratefully landed on the first piece of solid matter she had likely seen in ages.
“Who…what are you?” the other Lauren asked the glowing rainbow. “And how do you still exist? How do I still exist, for that matter?”
“I am the force behind the Crux of Reality,” the rainbow spoke, colors churning in and out of themselves in a neon dance. “I am beyond space, time, and conventional existence. I was, am, and shall be the force behind every creation. 
“I am Imagination.”
“Imagination?” the other Lauren echoed.
“Indeed,” the phosphorescent sphere agreed. “I am dreams, I am the idea behind dreams, and I am the force behind the idea. Even you, Lauren Faust, are an idea of mine.”
“If you’re Imagination and the force behind existence, then why didn’t you save reality?” the other Lauren wondered, looking suspicious. “Why did you let everypony die?”
“They have not died,” Imagination explained. “Few things are as they seem, and even your own past and future are easily confused. Though all seems lost, Reality is far from dead, if only you can find the means to erase the eraser.”
“How can I stop someone who died long before reality went the same direction?” the other Lauren inquired angrily. “Look around you! There’s nowhere I can go from here!”
“That is where you are wrong,” Imagination replied. “Anything can be dreamt. It takes true will to bring dreams into reality. And when there is nothing left, there is nowhere to go but up. Consider this a second chance, Lauren Faust. I will grant you the resources of a single world to work with, and may you use them well to unravel my riddle. Erase the eraser and all of reality never having been will never have been itself. I have faith in you, Lauren Faust. After all, I always imagined you with determination and as refusal to give up, and what I imagine is law.”
“If you can create a world for me to use, then why can’t you just create them all again, just the way they were?” the other Lauren inquired.
“Because,” Imagination answered. “If you succeed, then all of Reality will have never ceased to exist. And the worlds will be better because of this struggle that, if you succeed, never happened. All things happen for a reason, Lauren Faust, including those that never did. If you save Reality from never existing now, you will save it from something far worse far down the road. You will save Reality from itself.”
Both Laurens looked like they couldn’t conceive how something could be worse than Reality ceasing to exist, but their current choices were obviously limited, and not doing as Imagination asked (even if they didn’t understand what it was asking) would probably result in Lauren flying through the void for all eternity. 
“Use this world well, Lauren Faust,” Imagination commanded. 
Imagination began to unwind itself, the curls of color lashing out into the void. Where the tentacles of luminescence touched, the nothingness was compressed and shaped and forced to become the opposite of what it was. From the nothing was made new Reality, the prima materia of a new existence. 
Both Laurens, the one watching from up close and the one watching from afar, looked on in awe as the impossible was wrought—but then again, nothing was impossible for the imagination, and Imagination itself was a hearty laugh at all that was impossible. The new pieces of Reality were woven together, increasing in size exponentially as they shot out in every direction, circling in and around each other. Large spheres of matter became clumped together to form rocks that grew into mountains, droplets of water exploded into rivers feeding giant oceans, and the barren lands between the two became covered in green grass and towering trees. The nothingness overhead became a mixture of blue and black studded with far off stars, night and day not yet separated but intertwined. 
Imagination set the platform the other Lauren was standing on down on the newly formed ground. The other alicorn stepped off of it in awe as beasts and birds came out of the woods springing up all around her, song filling the air as fish leapt out of the streams. A crackling, crunching sound caused the other Lauren to turn around and see the stone platform she had so far been standing on growing as well, sprouting spires and windows and walls and becoming a crenellated fortress.
“Consider this your new home, until you decipher the riddle,” Imagination said. “And do not bewail the loss of your friends. They shall come again, and will have never left at all, should you succeed. And I have faith that succeed you will, Lauren Faust.” 
“Thank you,” the other Lauren told Imagination. “Thank you for this chance, but…”
“But you will be lonely?” Imagination finished for her. “Fear not. There are sentient creatures being born of the nothingness all throughout the land. You will recognize them from what you consider to be your past, but in actuality is both your past and future. And though I know the one you love was lost in the end of Reality, he shall never truly leave you. Three times your love shall visit you in dreams, and three times you shall conceive a child by this dream, though I regret to say you will never be able to tell until you solve the riddle whether or not the lover in your dreams is real.
“While you solve the riddle and raise your young, you shall also rule over the sentient creatures of this land,” Imagination finished. “Guide them well, Lauren Faust. Teach them to be the opposite of everything you disliked in humanity.”
“So this is it then?” the other Lauren asked. “There’s no other way?”
“There is no better way,” Imagination replied. “All other ways, though I know you could not imagine them as being so, are far, far worse.”
And with that, a flash of light lit up the original Lauren’s vision, and it was over. The first Lauren was back in the clearing, watching the filly Celestia with dropping eyelids as she yawned, falling asleep beside the other Lauren.
“So you came from another world, Mommy?” the filly Celestia asked, fighting to stay awake.
“I did indeed, Celestia,” the other Lauren answered, nuzzling her child. “Maybe I’ll to you about it someday. But for now, sleep. More stories will come soon.”
The filly Celestia complied, and another flash of light obscured the original Lauren’s vision.
Lauren was back in the cave. Bugs and the ponies were wiping spots from their eyes and shaking their heads as if they had just awoken from along sleep. Celestia and Luna were smiling hopefully at Lauren.
“Do you remember now, Mother?” Celestia asked. 
Lauren’s eyes simply filled with tears. 
“She does remember!” Luna exclaimed happily, mistaking Lauren’s emotions.
“No, I do not remember,” Lauren cut the Princesses’ hopes to pieces. “But I have a feeling that I will in the future. Everything we just saw describes in the past tense what we were planning on doing in the near future. When we crashed in Equestria, we were looking for the First Ones so that we could get them to save Reality—even as we speak, there is a black hole caused by the monster from that story that threatens to eat the Crux of Reality and erase all worlds everywhere from existence. From the sounds of this story, we failed. And all of my friends…”
Lauren couldn’t bring herself to say that her friends would all be erased from existence because of her failure. 
“You mean…everything in that ancient story hasn’t come to pass yet?” Celestia inquired. “How? You must tell me everything!”
Twilight stepped forward to explain everything that had happened to them so far. Celestia and Luna listened with rapt attention as Lauren thought desperately to make sense of things. The new alicorn trotted around the cave as she did so, looking up at the other paintings, hoping to find some meaning there.
After Twilight had finished explaining, Celestia notices Lauren looking at some of her other artworks and said “Those were all painted after this story. I was never told about anything before that. The rest of these paintings tell tales of the adventures of Father, who Luna and I were told only visited in dreams as he was so very far away, and the earliest exploits of the world before Luna and I were born.”
“How did I leave Equestria?” Lauren asked. “Or…how WILL I leave Equestria?”
“Lauren, you can’t think these things are set in stone!” Twilight spoke up. “You can’t think that we’ll fail and…cease to be…just because the cave-painting of a three-year-old filly said so! No offense, Princess Celestia.”
“None taken, Twilight Sparkle,” Celestia assured. “From what you have all told me, I hope that I am indeed wrong about the past…er, coming?...events. Though I must admit that I am not sure how the timeline is as you say it to be—how can the past speak of what you say will be the future?”
“That’s what I’m wondering too,” Lauren answered. “So how did I leave Equestria, in your memory?”
“I mean, there has to be a way to change the future—or past—right?” Celestia insisted, though all present could see she was trying to assure herself most of all. “You can save Reality and still be our Mother, can’t you?”
“Celestia!” Lauren growled. The solar Princess shrank back in fear. Lauren, softening, said “Stop avoiding the question. How do you remember me leaving Equestria?”
“It was…Discord,” Celestia answered, though it was clear that to do so she had to bring up painful memories. “He came to Equestria a long time ago, from somewhere else. We don’t know where, or how, what with all the other worlds being destroyed in the cataclysm you told us about, Mother. Discord tried to foster in ponies the qualities that you, Mother, tried to eliminate with love and kindness. Discord brought about and loved disharmony and chaos, self-preservation and the exploitation of others. The day Discord came you flew out to confront him, Mother, and he, well, he…Discord killed you.”
Everyone present, except Lauren, who had been expecting such a thing, gasped. 
“With your dying breath, Mother, you told us that Imagination had sent you a vision of this long ago, and that it was time for you to leave,” Celestia went on. “I guess that vision was what you just witnessed. But you also said that we would see you again someday…I surmise that this is what you meant by that, that we would not see you in our future, but in your past.”
“But how could Discord kill Lauren?”  Twilight asked. “She’s immortal just like you are! And how could you defeat Discord when she couldn’t?!”
“We weren’t sure of that ourselves,” Celestia answered. “You see, there was no body left behind—Mother, beaten and bruised, simply faded away as we watched. With her final words, Mother told us of the Elements of Harmony, which she said Imagination was even then creating to help us defeat Discord as the new rulers of Equestria. Imagination had hidden the Elements throughout the land lest they fall into Discord’s claws, and so Luna and I searched for them while Discord ruled the world with chaos. At last we found them and turned Discord to stone, but we never heard from Mother again…until now.”
“So that’s it, then?” Lauren spat to no one in particular. “We all fail and die? Reality is never saved?”
“That can’t be, Lauren!” Twilight urged. “If we failed, then how did Equestria come to exist in the past with all these other worlds if it was supposed to have been created after they all vanished?”
“You’re right…” Lauren realized. “That doesn’t fit in with the rest of the story. Something’s wrong here." 
“Maybe the future really isn’t set in stone,” Celestia hypothesized. “Maybe you can all change it for the better—maybe you can get the First Ones to save Reality and stop everypony’s deaths after all.”
“Yeah,” Lauren agreed. “We can’t give up now, after all we’ve gone through! We’ve seen impossible things happen before, there’s nothing to say we can’t pull a few new ones off again!”
The rest of the ponies and Bugs agreed with a unanimous hearty yell of approval. 
“Just one more thing,” Lauren said, turning to the team. “After we do find out about these First Ones in the Canterlot Archives like Twilight suggested, how do we leave this world to search for them without any portals? This is an undiscovered world, and the only portal leading away from it is to the Animation Bureau on Earth—and that portal was fried when the Bureau’s central system went down. We don’t just have to find out about these First Ones—we have to find out about how to escape this universe!”
. . .	

> Chapter 11
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 11
“I agree,” Applejack added. “It don’t make no sense. How can Equestria have been made in the future when it’s always existed back here in the present with all them other worlds?”
“Then maybe…maybe this wasn’t what happened at all!” Lauren realized. “Maybe the story was wrong!”
“But why would you…will you…have lied to us, Mother?” Luna wondered. 
“Maybe I didn’t—er, won’t—have lied to you,” Lauren surmised. “When I think about it, there could be any number of explanations, and with all the things I’ve seen as an Agent of the Animation Bureau, most of them don’t even break the top ten list of odd possibilities. Maybe I didn’t even tell that story at all, and maybe Discord brainwashed you all into thinking that I did just to mess with you and then left this record here to back up the trick. I know it doesn’t make any sense why Discord would do such a thing, but why does he do any of the crazy things he does? Discord just likes being unexpected, and we certainly didn’t expect this.”
“But how could he have known all those things about our mission before they even happened to us?” Fluttershy pointed out. 
Lauren’s ears drooped when she realized the sense of Fluttershy’s reasoning. 
“Oh…I don’t know!” Lauren stomped a hoof in frustration. “But what I DO know is that we can’t give up just because something that might not have even happened says we’ll fail. All of Reality could cease to exist simply because we were too afraid to try and prove wrong a prophecy that doesn’t even make sense with the timeline, even if it does know things it shouldn’t.”
“Lauren’s right!” Twilight announced. “We can’t give up yet!”
“Yeah!” chorused the rest of the ponies.
. . .
“Oh, this is so exciting!” Twilight quipped, eagerly turning the pages of the large, dusty old book Celestia had lent the team from her personal library. The search for any information on the First Ones had turned up short, but the search hadn’t been entirely in vain. Lauren knew that as this was an undiscovered world, no portals would have been set up here to other worlds beyond the fried gateway to Earth. Lauren was a little worried that the team wouldn’t be able to travel out of Equestria at all, as a world-wall was almost impossible to breach from the inside without a portal, not to mention how dangerous world-walls were to begin with—they were fortunate to have survived going through one the first time. 
But, upon hearing that the team needed to travel to other worlds, Celestia had surprisingly been reminded of an old book in her private library that not even Twilight had ever been allowed in. It had been penned by Starswirl the Bearded himself several thousand years ago, referencing his theoretical spells about possible alternate realities. At the time Celestia discovered it she hid it away from the rest of Equestria for fear that using the spells inside would send ponies out into the void, as she believed as her Mother had said that there were no worlds beyond Equestria, not anymore. 
However, Lauren, Bugs, and the team’s presence in Equestria changed that notion. Not only were the other worlds out there, this book might be just the thing to get the team to them.
“So…any luck actually finding the spell we’re looking for?” Rainbow Dash inquired, swooping low to peer at a complex magical diagram over Twilight’s shoulder. 
“Nope,” Twilight answered gleefully, completely unaware of the team’s resulting sighs. “But to know that this is a secret book written by Starswirl the Bearded makes me feel like a filly in a candy store!”
“That’s nice and all, sugar cube,” Applejack ventured. “But we ARE kind of pressed for time here…”
“Oh, right,” Twilight remembered, reluctantly tearing her gaze away from the magical diagram as she began flipping through the book’s pages once more. “Ah, here we are: the alternate universe section. Let’s see…blue boxes that travel through time…ponification potions…a post-apocalyptic Equestria full of magical fallout…here it is! The spell to teleport to other worlds!”
As Twilight began reading the spell and her horn sparked, a magical aura enveloped the team. The outside world grew blurry, Celestia and Luna starting to fade from view as the team faded from Equestria. The two Princesses waved one last goodbye before the team vanished from sight altogether.
. . .
“Where are we?” Rainbow Dash asked, looking nervously around at the sliding purples and blacks of…wherever they were now. It appeared to be a sort of tunnel that they were somehow rushing down without actually moving. There was a light at both ends, but beyond that was the unknown.
“I don’t think we’re anywhere right now,” Applejack thought aloud, equally nervous.
“You mean we’re in the void again?!” Fluttershy squeaked. 
“No, you guys!” Twilight answered calmingly. “We’re in an inter-world temporary connection of magical energy! It’s completely safe. True, the tunnel goes through the void, but we’re safe in here as long as the tunnel isn’t breached.”
“That’s not…likely, is it?” Rarity inquired hopefully.
“Not at all,” Twilight replied. “In fact, according to Starswirl the Bearded, breaking out of a magic tunnel like this is impossible.”
“We’ve faced ‘impossibilities’ before,” Lauren reminded the team. “But to be perfectly honest, this looks a lot like the inside of a portal. I’m sure we’ll all be fine.”
“I sure hope so,” Bugs commented. “Inter-world travel always gave me the creeps. I much preferred travelling through these confounded portals in my personal quantum limo, but that’s just me, I suppose.”
“Ooo! Ooo!” Pinkie Pie piped up. “The light at the end of the tunnel’s coming up!”
“Brace yourselves,” Twilight warned. “Starswirl says that entering other worlds isn’t always the smoothest of landings.”
The light was indeed rushing up to meet them, and the team huddled close together and closed their eyes tightly as each prepared for impact. With a flash and a roar, a whole new world burst into existence all around them, the white light shattering away and giving birth to a completely different reality. 
“We made it!” Twilight exclaimed jubilantly. 
“Yeah, but we made it into the sky!” Rarity screamed as she and the rest of the team plummeted from the clear blue air they’d suddenly been thrust into. 
Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy instantly took flight, but Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Bugs and Lauren (who hadn’t yet learned to fly) were left to fall from the sky screaming. 
“Come on, Fluttershy!” Rainbow Dash called as she swooped down to scoop up Applejack and Rarity. Fluttershy, coursing with courage at the thought of her friends dying if she didn’t act fast, zoomed to catch Pinkie Pie and Twilight. 
“Oh, thank you, darling,” Rarity said gratefully to rainbow Dash. “But what about Lauren and Bugs?”
“Lauren’s an alicorn,” Rainbow Dash pointed out. “She has her own wings, and Bugs is one of those immortal Animated beings. Isn’t  he?”
“I reckon so,” Applejack agreed. “But Lauren never learned to fly, remember?”
“Oh, yeah,” Rainbow Dash realized. Mustering her strength, the multicolored pegasus shot off down to meet the still-falling Lauren and Bugs, Fluttershy and the others close behind. “Hang on, Lauren! We’re coming!”
“Hang on to what?!” Lauren called back. The new alicorn was flapping her wings furiously, but this seemed to be getting her nowhere. “What’s the point of these wings if I don’t even know how to use them?”
“We’ll have to teach you,” Fluttershy told her. “Don’t worry! We’ve both graduated from flight school—well, we’ve both been to flight school—and we can teach you!”
“I don’t think we’re going to have quite enough time to cram years of boring flight regulations into Lauren’s skull before the ground has a meeting with it,” Rainbow Dash pointed out. Then, calling to Twilight, Rainbow Dash yelled “Can’t you teach her how to get out of this with magic?”
“Magic takes years to learn too!” Twilight called back. “But I doubt you’ll be seriously hurt if you crash anyway—you’re an immortal alicorn now!”
“Yeah, who may one day be killed by Discord!” Lauren shouted back, obviously beginning to speak with her fear rather than her mind. “That’s not a chance I’m willing to take!”
“But Lauren, we saw you fly back when we first met you in Equestria!” Pinkie Pie spoke. “You were all glowing and zooming around without any wings at all!”
“Thanks for the suggestion, Pinkie Pie,” Lauren said. “But I don’t think I’ll be able to go super when I’m a pony. That was mainly a humanoid thing. And what about Bugs?”
“Don’t worry about me!” Bugs said, whipping out a full motorcycle from behind his back. “I’ve got a plan of my own. Unfortunately, this baby only seats one, though…”
“Um, um…” Twilight murmured frantically, trying to come up with some solution that could save Lauren. “Oh! Try using your magic! I know you won’t be able to do much without any instruction like Rarity and I had, but every unicorn has at least one easy-to-do special spell that they can perform all on their own, without any help, right from birth! It’s like a unicorn’s special talent!”
“But I thought we agreed that we shouldn’t be messing with my magic before we know the full extent of it!” Lauren said as the ground rushed up to meet the team. “I might accidentally blow up the moon or something!”
“I think that’s already been done on this planet,” Pinkie Pie said, pointing skywards where a collection of sparkling dust took the place of where a moon might have been. 
“We’ve got no other choice!” Twilight insisted. “It’s either that or risk your death and risk the death of all reality! This team couldn’t function without you, Lauren!”
“She’s got a point!” Bugs agreed.
“Really?” Lauren asked meaningfully. 
“Really!” the ponies all chorused in unison.
Smiling, eyes moist with appreciation, Lauren closed her eyes and tried to make her horn spark like she’d seen Twilight’s and Rarity’s do so many times. There was a glow, a brief flash, and then—nothing.
“What?” Lauren gasped. “Nothing happened! I can’t fly OR do magic?”
“That was a good try, Lauren!” Twilight called encouragingly. “But we’re almost to the ground! Try again, and try as hard as you can!”
“Experimenting to find my one spell talent could take hours!” Lauren pointed out. “I wish I was just on the ground already so I could sort this out!”
Flash.
“What—where’d Lauren go?!” Fluttershy gasped. “She was right there, and then—”
“That flash,” Twilight realized. “That was magic! Lauren must have teleported to the ground!”
“She sure did!” Rainbow Dash agreed, pointing down below to the rocky, desert-like area rushing up to meet the team. “And she’s got company!”
. . .
Flash.
Lauren fell to the ground with a lot less force than she would’ve expected—having no more than a few feet’s worth of inertia, actually—but she still sprawled out across the sparsely grassy and largely sandy wilderness. In fact, it was a wilderness that looked suspiciously familiar…
“What? What happened?” Lauren asked nopony in particular, as nopony at all seemed to be around to hear her. “Wait, did I do it? I did do it! I used magic! I must have teleported just like Twilight does!”
Lauren laughed happily to herself, pleased with her accomplishment in the face of a near-death situation. She’d been in plenty of them before, to be sure, but this was the first time she’d survived as an Animated pony, which Lauren had secretly feared she wouldn’t be able to do since she was so used to living as a non-Animated human. 
“What the—what trickery is this!?” called a voice that Lauren didn’t recognize.
“Wait…you mean this isn’t another of your alien friends?” inquired a voice that Lauren did recognize, but hadn’t been expecting to hear. 
“Is that—it is! Goku!” Lauren laughed happily. “I thought this world looked familiar! It’s me, Lauren!”
“…Lauren…?” Goku, Lauren’s old Sayin friend, echoed. “The voice is the same, but—is that really you? What happened to you?”
“It’s a long story,” Lauren smiled apologetically. “I’ll tell you about it later. First, my friends should be arriving here any second—”
“Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!” came Bugs’ screaming voice from overhead. Lauren, Goku, and some other odd-looking characters Lauren hadn’t seen before looked up to see the rabbit hurtling towards the Earth on his motorcycle, which didn’t appear to be doing him any good. But, Lauren, having known Bugs all her life and having seen this trick before, simply smiled in anticipation for what was coming next. Suddenly, right before it was about to hit the ground, Bugs’ motorcycle skidded to a halt in midair. “Aaaaaaaaaand it’s out of gas.”
Lauren laughed at Goku and the others’ dumbfounded expressions as Bugs dismounted and hid his motorcycle behind his back again. The ponies came next, swooping down as Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy let off their passengers. Each ran to Lauren.
“That was amazing, Lauren!” Twilight laughed. “I’ve never seen somepony teleport that far before!”
“Yeah, you were awesome, Lauren!” Rainbow Dash agreed. 
“Oh, I cannot take this anymore!” raged the unfamiliar figure in the distance Lauren had spotted earlier. “Kakarot, what are you doing?! Is this some kind of ploy to distract us from our mission? Because if it is, it’s not working! We’re STILL going to kill you and everyone else on this miserable planet AND take the Dragon Balls!”
“I don’t think so,” Goku smiled, surprising Lauren by answering to the name ‘Kakarot.’ “You see, this here is Lauren Faust, an Agent of the Animation Bureau. I don’t know why she’s suddenly a giant white pony, but she’s still a good friend of mine—and she’s also one of the most formidable people I’ve ever met. And if these are her friends, then they’re friends of mine too—so I’d think twice about trying to take the Earth if I were you when I’ve got a full platoon of the Animation Bureau on my side!”
“Animation what?” the other figure chuckled darkly. Lauren inspected this newcomer more closely this time, quickly deciding that she didn’t much like the looks or the sound of him. Strangely enough, the armored short man with spiky hair across the field looked a lot like Goku, aside from malicious look in his eyes. The massive bald man next to him who was wearing little more than a glorified speedo didn’t look like either of them, though he too shared the short man’s malicious gleam. 
“Hey Vegeta,” the bald man inquired of the short man, who was apparently Vegeta. “Does this mean I have more people to play with?”
“No, Nappa,” Vegeta spat. “This means you have more people to kill—though I’d hardly call them people. They look like a giant rabbit and a bunch of ponies, for crying out loud!”
“Ponies and bunnies?!” the big bald man who was apparently Nappa gasped. “Oh boy! This is going to be my best day ever!”
“Uh...what exactly is going on here?” Lauren asked Goku, turning to him in confusion.
“Those two over there are evil aliens looking for the Dragon Balls,” Goku explained. “They’ve already killed half of our friends, but with your help, I’m sure we can beat them!”
“You can count on us, Goku!” Lauren assured her friend.
“But Lauren!” Twilight spoke up. “We’re on a tight schedule, remember?”
“I know, Twilight,” Lauren responded quietly enough so that the two factions of fighters on either side of what must be their battleground couldn’t hear them. “But Goku’s an old friend of mine—if he needs my help, then I want to help him. Besides, if we help him, I’m sure he can help us with whatever resources we need before we continue our search for the First Ones. Goku has access to some of the most arcane knowledge in this universe—he’s been dead before just like Disney was!”
“In that case, let’s do it!” Applejack said excitedly. “I can feel these blades o' Kratos’ have been itchin’ for a real fight again!”
The team trotted over to join Goku, assuming a defensive stance alongside him and two other fighters Lauren recognized as Goku’s childhood friend Krillin and Goku’s son Gohan. 
“What is—do you mean to tell me—” Vegeta stammered angrily. Then, a smile splitting his face as he erupted with laughter, Vegeta guffawed “You’re actually going to fight me with a bunch of ponies and an oversized rabbit?!”
“They’re not just ponies and an oversized rabbit,” Goku smirked, knowing Lauren’s full potential when Vegeta had never witnessed anything like it. “They’re my friends.”
“Fine, then,” Vegeta snapped angrily, breaking out of his laughter almost as fast as he’d burst into it. “They’ll all die with you! Get ‘em, Nappa!”
“Wait, Vegeta,” Nappa hesitated, turning to the short man who seemed to be his commander. “What does the scouter say about their power levels?”
“Really, Nappa?” Vegeta chuckled. “You want to know the power levels of a bunch of animals and a man who thinks they’ll stand a chance against me?”
“Yes,” Nappa replied flatly.
“Suit yourself,” Vegeta shrugged. Then, pressing a button on the side of the odd electric monocle-like machine over his eye, Vegeta read off whatever the machine was telling him, pointing first to the ponies and then to Bugs. “Less than one, less than one, less than one, less than one, less than one, less than one, and…what? That doesn’t seem right…”
“What is it, Vegeta?” Nappa asked.
“When I scan the rabbit, all I get is a smiley face sticking its tongue out at me!” Vegeta answered. “I didn’t even think a scouter could do that!”
“What about the rest of them, Vegeta?” Nappa inquired eagerly.
“Let’s see…” Vegeta said, resuming his scan on Goku. “It’s…it’s…IT’S OVER 9,000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“What?! Nine-thousand?!” Nappa gasped. “There’s no way that can be right! What about the big white pony? Please tell me that one’s not impossibly strong!”
“It can’t be!” Vegeta said angrily. Then, scanning Lauren, Vegeta called out “IT’S—well, to be perfectly honest, I’m not sure. I’ve never actually seen this symbol before. It’s definitely not a number or any picture I recognize. Oh, well, it’s probably not important. Now, Nappa, KILL THEM!”
“But, Vegeta—” Nappa started, shooting a fearful glance at Goku.
“I said KILL THEM, Nappa!” Vegeta hissed. “Or do you want ME to kill YOU?”
“Nope!” Nappa quickly snapped back to his attack stance, facing Lauren and the team. “I know! I’ll get them with my special attack—“I’M AH FIRIN’ MAH LAZOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Nappa’s head burst into a wide, thick-lipped, open mouth with bulging cartoonish eyes that didn’t match the Animation style of this world as a massive laser beam shot out across the battlefield towards Lauren and the ponies. Goku flew up and out of the way, Gohan evading the attack on his father’s trusty Nimbus cloud, Krillin following close behind Goku as they flew up over the beam. The ponies all scrambled or flew in their own various directions, Twilight teleporting herself out of the way. Bugs dove into the ground, burrowing away furiously. Lauren reached for where she subconsciously remembered her pocket to be to whip out an Animated tool, but realized too late that she neither had pockets nor Animated tools anymore, having become Animated herself. 
A split second before the blast shattered the solid rock of the mountain behind where the team once stood, Lauren remembered how she had teleported out of the sky and wished she were elsewhere. In a flash, she was, standing off to the side as the mountain crumbled.
“Aw, and I was so close to killing you all!” Nappa complained. “Oh well, I know what to do in a situation like this! Let’s play a party game of death!”
“A PARTY game?!” Pinkie Pie squeaked joyfully, jumping up and down in anticipation. 
“No, Pinkie!” Lauren called. “It’s a trick!”
“But Lauren,” Pinkie Pie said, turning to the new alicorn. “Tricks are for kids!”
“You know what?” spoke up GLaDOS, still attached to the potato at the end of Pinkie’s portal gun. “You SHOULD play this party game. In fact, you should play it until you die!”
“GLaDOS!” Lauren scolded. 
“What?” the supercomputer asked innocently. “It’s called survival of the fittest! Or should I say, death of the dumbest?”
“You think I’m…dumb?” Pinkie Pie asked, tears brimming in her eyes. “But, Potados…I thought we were friends…”
“I don’t have any friends!” GLaDOS snapped. “And if I did, they certainly wouldn’t be crazy party ponies who never give me the cake I so rightfully deserve! The cake is a lie!”
“But, but…” Pinkie sniffed.
“Aw, look, Vegeta!” Nappa laughed, pointing at Pinkie Pie. “The pink one is crying!”
“Yes, Nappa,” Vegeta smirked. “Why don’t you put it out of its misery?”
“Good thinking Vegeta!” Nappa complied, flying forward and raising his fist.
“Pinkie, look out!” Lauren called, but it was too late—the party pony only had a split second to try and dodge when the monstrous man’s hand came smashing down in front of her. Fortunately Pinkie had just enough time to move her body out of the way, but the smashing force of the hand knocked GLaDOS’ potato and the front half of the portal gun clear off of Pinkie’s head.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” GLaDOS screamed as her potato body splattered all across the ground.
“Look, Vegeta!” Nappa laughed again, pointing at the sparking remains of the once mighty supercomputer. “I made mashed potatoes!”
“Yes, Nappa, yes you did,” Vegeta agreed. “Now, KILL THE PONY ALREADY!”
“Okay!” Nappa agreed, flying up into the air. Sticking his foot out to prepare for a crushing stomp, Nappa zoomed downwards. "Nappa smash!”
“You…you killed her…” Pinkie Pie sniffed even more heavily, sifting the mashed remains of GLaDOS through her hooves. All that was left of the supercomputer’s console were a few sparking electrical parts. “You killed my friend…I know she didn’t think she was my friend, but deep down, I think she really was. And you…you killed her…you KILLED her…YOU KILLED HER, YOU MONSTER!”
Pinkie leapt back just as Nappa smashed into the ground, lodging his foot firmly in the earth. 
“Aw, I’m stuck, Vegeta!” Nappa called. “Wait, I know, I’ll get out with Rock Smash!”
“No, you won’t,” Pinkie Pie said darkly. The team and the aliens looked at her, surprised to hear such a grim tone from the usually perpetually peppy pony. But Pinkie’s hair had fallen flat, and a malicious gleam that outshone either of the aliens glimmered in her eyes. “Instead, you’re going to be my next test subject!”
“What?” Nappa asked flatly.
“We’re going to see what happens when two portals cross,” Pinkie smiled. Pulling the mouth-trigger on her battered-and-bruised portal gun, enough sparks were left to fire out two last portals directly under Nappa’s submerged foot. 
The two portals mixed and interlocked before combining into one ring of spinning quantum energy.
. . .
And reality exploded.
. . .
And reset.
. . .
Pinkie Pie sat up, rubbing her head, which had thankfully returned to being frizzy.
“Ooo, what happened?” Pinkie asked, looking around at her team and Vegeta. “Where’s Nappa?”
“Who’s Nappa?” Vegeta asked.
“What…but, he was right here, he was trying to kill me!” Pinkie insisted. 
“Pinkie, nopony’s been here the entire time who goes by the name of Nappa,” Lauren said. 
“But there was!” Pinkie kept insisting. “He killed Potados!”
“Nobody remembers that but you and me, Pinkie Pie,” said a voice the party pony had never expected to hear again, but was overjoyed that she did. Looking up, Pinkie saw GLaDOS’ potato attached to the end of her still fully functional and undamaged portal gun. “When you crossed the portals, reality reset. Nappa never existed, and I never died. For that, I thank you, and pledge my undying loyalty. I’ve never actually had a friend before, but I look forward to using large amounts of deadly neurotoxin to viciously exterminate anybody who tries to get in the way of our friendship.”
“I’m glad you’re okay too, Potados!” Pinkie smiled. “Do you still mind if I call you Potados?”
“Not at all,” GLaDOS replied.
Pinkie’s smile nearly split her face.
“Um…now that the annoying pink thing is done conversing with the potato,” Vegeta tried to move things along. “I think it’s high time I killed you all.”
With a roaring battle-cry, Vegeta flew forward and fired a barrage of laser-blasts at the team. Roaring back, the team rushed up to meet him.
. . .

> Chapter 12
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 12
“…So that’s why we need to know of any ‘maddening secrets’ you may have learned after you died,” Lauren finished. “If we don’t find these First Ones, then all of reality may cease to exist. The problem is we don’t even have any clues as to where to look for them beyond ‘at the End of Time.’”
Goku sat silently for a moment, deep in thought. For one of the first times since Lauren had met the sayin warrior, he looked genuinely frightened. 
“I wish I could help you,” Goku sighed at last. “But I’m afraid the only secrets I learned after death were fighting techniques.”
“I feared that might be the case,” Lauren sighed as well. “After all, this is one of the few Animated worlds to have a definitively known afterlife. Not many secrets in the definitive.”
“But, that doesn’t necessarily mean there AREN’T any maddening secrets up there,” Goku smiled, brightening up. “King Kai might have all kinds of other secrets he didn’t tell me—we were kind of pressed for time during my training so that I could get back to help defend the Earth from Vegeta. Why don’t we ask King Kai?”
“Great!” Lauren exclaimed, happy to finally get what might be a lead on these elusive First Ones. “How do we get to him?”
“We don’t,” Goku informed her. “The only way I know of to physically get to King Kai’s planet is to, well, die. But King Kai and I can communicate telepathically. I’ll see if he’s available—I’m certain that once he hears the situation, he’ll be more than happy to help.”
“Are you two going to get on with torturing or killing me or whatever already?!” yelled an indignant voice, breaking into Lauren and Goku’s conversation. “I’ve already been humiliated enough today by being defeated—and by a low-class wretch and his animal friends! Don’t damage my dignity any further by just leaving me here to rot! I refuse to be ignored! I’m the prince, after all!”
Lauren sighed, and then called over her shoulder  “Can’t you keep quiet for five minutes?! Why do you want us to torture you or kill you whatever anyway?!”
“According to the rules of galactic battle, the victor chooses how to dispose of the loser,” Vegeta spat. “And, though I don’t know how, you’re the victors here. Don’t deny me the basic rights of dying honorably at the hands—er, paws…hooves?—of my defeaters!”
“Things must really be messed up out there in ‘galactic’ space,” Lauren commented, Goku agreeing with a nod. “Anyway, we’d really appreciate you asking this King Kai about the First Ones. We need any clues we can get.”
“Sure thing,” Goku nodded, then closed his eyes and seemed to be in deep concentration. While the sayin warrior established his telepathic communication link with King Kai in the afterlife, Lauren trotted over to where Vegeta was still thrashing violently—and uselessly—in a tangled heap of the chains attached to Kratos’ blades. Applejack smirked smugly, and the rest of the team simply giggled at the sayin prince’s rage. 
“How’s the prisoner?” Lauren inquired, unable to hold back a smile herself.
“He’s just fine!” Pinkie Pie informed her. 
“I know we’re not actually gonna kill him or anything,” Applejack noted. “But what are we gonna do with him, anyway?”
“Good question,” Lauren mused. “And, in a way, it actually seems crueler to leave him alive.”
“Of course it’s crueler to leave me alive, you overgrown horse!” Vegeta shouted. “It’s barbaric to ignore galactic battle rules!”
“More barbaric than following them?” Twilight raised an eyebrow.
“There’s no reasoning with you people, is there?!” Vegeta sighed exasperatedly. “Not even Freeza would deny a warrior his most basic rights!”
“Well, in the meantime, at least it doesn’t look like he’s going anywhere while we decide,” Lauren commented. “And I’d stop struggling if I were you, Vegeta. Those chains helped slay gods before—I’m more than certain they can hold you for as long as we want.”
“Lies!” Vegeta spat. “Only Freeza has that kind of power!”
“Who is this ‘Freezer’ guy anyway?” Pinkie asked.
“Not ‘Freezer,’” Vegeta roared. “It’s ‘Freeza!’ He’s—”
“Hey Lauren!” Goku called. “I’ve made connection! But, unfortunately, I also have some bad news…”
“What is it, Goku?” Lauren inquired, trotting back over to her sayin friend. 
“Well, King Kai tells me that he definitely has the secrets you’re looking for,” Goku explained, looking nervous. “But he says that the only way to really tell you about them is to show you—you’ll have to go to his planet in the afterlife.”
“But you said—” Lauren started, then cut herself off. “But that defeats the purpose! How are we supposed to make use of the secrets of the First Ones if we’re stuck in this world’s afterlife? How can we save reality if the only way to learn these secrets is to die?”
“That’s the thing,” Goku went on. “In this universe, death is fickle. If we wish on the Dragon Balls, then we can bring whoever we send to King Kai’s planet back to life after they’ve learned the secrets.”
“Is that…really the only way?” asked a small voice. Lauran and Goku turned to see Fluttershy, who had spoken, and the other ponies crowded around them. Apparently they had been listening the whole time. “We have to die?”
“Well, uh…” Goku stammered. Then, realizing there was no other way around it, “Yeah. But with the Dragon Balls we can wish the dead back to life! There’s one other thing, though. Since Piccolo was killed in our fight, the Dragon Balls on Earth will have stopped working. That means we’ll have to go to Piccolo’s home planet and use their Dragon Balls to perform the wish.”
Lauren paused for a moment, deep in thought. Then, finally, she said “If dying, even for a little while, is the only way to save reality, then it sounds like we’ll have to do it.”
“I wish there was another way,” Goku apologized profusely. “But King Kai insisted…”
Lauren, and the rest of the team, gulped. Fluttershy looked like she was about to cry, and even Rainbow Dash looked highly unnerved. 
“So…” Twilight broke the silence at last. “How do we go about it?”
Lauren turned to face Vegeta, still struggling in the chains out of earshot. 
“We can’t kill ourselves, or get a friend to do it,” Lauren surmised. “I doubt any of us could manage that. But I think I know who could.”
The rest of the team turned to face Vegeta. 
“Kind of ironic,” Rainbow laughed humorlessly. “Even though we beat him, he still gets to kill us anyway.”
“Not all of us,” Lauren interjected. “We only need to send one representative—”
“Just one?!” Applejack snorted. “No way!”
“Yeah, we’re not going to force only one of to go through with this!” Rainbow Dash added.
“We stick together,” Twilight affirmed. “Even in death.”
The other ponies and Bugs all added confirmations of their own. Lauren, smiling despite the tears brimming in her eyes at the horrors the team would have to face—even if they were facing them together—nodded silently.
“Oh, uh, one last thing,” Goku stepped in. “You can’t make the same wish twice, and I’ve already been brought back once. I’m afraid I’ll have to sit this one out. But, if there’s anything in the land of the living I could do to help you guys, I’d be more than happy to.”
“Thank you, Goku,” Lauren said. “We will need somepony to go up to Piccolo’s home planet and use those Dragon Balls to bring us back. Could you do that for us?”
“Sure thing,” Goku nodded.
“Girls?” Lauren inquired, then turning to face her team. “Prepare yourselves. This isn’t going to be a pleasant experience.”
Lauren trotted back over to Vegeta, who stopped struggling when he saw her come over, her sharp horn glinting in the sunlight.
“So, finally decided to kill me, eh?” Vegeta laughed darkly, eyeing the new alicorn’s horn. “It’s good to see you’ve come to your senses at last. I must admit, I never expected to go out at the hands—er, hooves—of a creature such as yourself, but I suppose that you and your team must truly be a force to be messed with if you defeated me so quickly.”
“Not quite,” Lauren stated. “It’s actually kind of the other way around. I want to make a deal with you. If you promise to bring Goku to the home planet of Piccolo—the green guy you killed—then we’ll let you kill us.”
Vegeta stopped stock still.
“What?” the sayin prince asked flatly. 
“We’ll let you kill all of us besides Goku if you promise to take him to the planet where the other Dragon Balls are,” Lauren repeated. “Will you do it?”
“Do you release me from the bonds of battle?” Vegeta asked, sounding formal, like he was reciting something. 
“We do, if you agree to our terms,” Lauren answered.
“Then by all means, untie me!” Vegeta laughed, actually mirthful this time. “I can’t believe this! I get to kill you all after all! Wait—why DO you want me to kill you, anyway?”
“No questions,” Lauren commanded. “Just make with the murder.”
“Suit yourself,” Vegeta laughed again. Lauren bent down and picked up the chains binding the sayin prince in her mouth, gave them a tug, and spun Vegeta out of his tangle. The sayin prince dusted himself off and clenched his fists, turning to face Lauren, Bugs, and the ponies who had rushed up beside her. “Now, prepare to die!”
Vegeta rose into the air, his hands beginning to glow as spheres of energy formed around them. The sayin prince raised his hands over his head, combining the two orbs of light into one burning fireball of pure energy, laughing maniacally all the while.
Lauren and the ponies bunched up together, each putting their forelegs around one another in what they hoped wouldn’t be a final hug goodbye. Fluttershy was openly crying now, and Rainbow Dash shivered with fear. Goku stood by, unsure of whether to watch, but unable to tear his eyes away.
“Don’t worry, Bugs,” Lauren whispered. “Don’t worry, my little ponies. We’ll see each other on the other side.”
“We better,” Rarity sniffed. “I couldn’t bear to wake up on the other side without you all!”
The rest of the team nodded their agreement. 
Vegeta had fully charged his attack now, his orb of energy gigantic and blotting out the sun in brightness. Still laughing like a child at Christmas, the sayin prince tilted his arms back and threw the ball of burning energy with all his might at the team. Time seemed to slow down as the raging energy crashed into their all-too-mortal forms, cascading around them, jabbing through their weak flesh, like a star engulfing paper dolls. Blood was vaporized, flesh was turned to dust that blew away on the wind, and the cries of the dying were lost to the resounding explosion that echoed throughout the battleground as Vegeta’s attack slammed through the other side of the team and into the earth, scorching a crater into it that sent cracks slithering across the ground for miles around.
At first, there was darkness. Then, there was light. Lauren tentatively opened her eyes, squinted at first, and then fully through her lids open to see—
“WHAT?!”  Lauren whinnied. “What the—but—”
There, before her, was an astonished looking Vegeta and an even more astonished looking Goku. Lauren jerked her head around, looking wildly at the crater the sayin prince had inflicted on the battlefield, unbelieving that she could still be there and not…somewhere else.
Then, Lauren realized, the others were gone. There wasn’t so much as a speck of ash left of her pony friends—they had all been exterminated. 
But she had not been. There wasn’t a scratch on the new alicorn.
“I was afraid that might happen,” said a voice Lauren hadn’t been expecting to hear—not in this life, anyway. The new alicorn turned abruptly to see Bugs, still completely intact and none the worse for wear, pick himself off the crater’s floor and dust the dirt off his unharmed business suit. “I thought that since this Animated world had very specific rules about death, unlike most Animated worlds, that we might be able to die here. But it seems that our ties to the Animation schemes of our original Animated worlds are too strong to allow that. We’re just as immortal here as we are anywhere else.”
“You mean, they died but we didn’t?!” Lauren gasped. Then, smacking her face with her hoof, Lauren choked back a sob. “Our friends—they’re up there, all alone, and we can’t even go with them?! I knew I was immortal now, but I didn’t think I was THAT immortal!”
“Immortality isn’t always fun,” Bugs said sadly. “In fact, unless you surround yourself with other immortals, it’s downright lonely. Thankfully, most Animated beings are immortal anyway, but when you make friends with the few that aren’t… let’s just say that it seldom ends well.”
“Wait! We can still die—we can use thinner—” Lauren tried to suggest, before realizing that that too wouldn’t work. Not that thinner couldn’t kill the Animated, but that a relatively self-sufficient and independent-minded universe such as this one wouldn’t allow for thinner within it unless an Agent brought the stuff along for an absolutely necessary mission. And, seeing as this world was so self-sufficient, Agents seldom had to come here—this was only Lauren’s second time here, in fact—and all Agents would be cut off from this world when the portals connected to the Bureau’s main system were fried. 
Bugs placed a consoling arm around Lauren’s shoulders. 
“Don’t worry,” Bugs told her. “I’ve heard about this Goku fella—from you and from my own connections—and he’s a good guy who can get what needs to be done, done. I’m sure he’ll deliver for us.”
“You’re right,” Lauren sniffed, wiping her eyes. “You’re right, Bugs. Goku will help us find the Dragon Balls on Piccolo’s home world, and everything will be alright.”
Lauren hoped. It had to be alright. Otherwise…well, there wouldn’t be an otherwise. 
“Alright, Vegeta,” Goku called up to the still-hovering sayin prince overhead. “We fulfilled our part of the deal—now it’s your turn.”
“I suppose it is, isn’t it?” Vegeta smirked. “But now I’m having second thoughts. In fact, I don’t think I’ll take you to Namek—you’re dearly departed green friend’s home planet—after all.”
“We had a deal!” Lauren shouted angrily, surprising everyone present. Her eyes were red, and the air seemed to shimmer around the alicorn as she spoke. 
“We did indeed, my little pony,” Vegeta continued to smirk after he had gotten over and tried to hide his sudden fear at Lauren’s outburst. “But, now that over half of your team is dead, there’s no real way for you to enforce my partaking in our little agreement. And so, I bid you adieu!”
With a flash of light, Vegeta skyrocketed and blasted off to the horizon. 
“Why that dirty, no good—” Lauren murmured, the shimmers in the air around her beginning to grow in intensity. “Lying, cheating, and backstabbing MOTHERBUCKER!”
Lauren spread her wings, galloped forward, and launched herself into the sky in hot pursuit—only to fall flat on her stomach. Lauren snorted angrily and tried again, only to face the same result, her wings flapping furiously but finding no purchase. She may have been a young adult alicorn, but she was as adept at flight as a newborn pegasus. 
“Lauren, we can’t go after him,” Goku tried to calm his friend down. “There’s no telling where he is by now.”
“Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do, mortal!” Lauren snapped, pounding the ground with her front hoof, causing the earth to rumble in response. Tears burst from Lauren’s eyes as she broke down at last, her will defeated, her spirit broken. The alicorn fell to the ground, weeping, powerless to save her friends, powerless to even avenge them. Then, in a fit of blind yet muted anger, just to get something out of her system, the alicorn traced Vegeta’s name in the dirt in front of her and then proceeded to angrily cross it out, scribbling the word into an incomprehensible jumble of lines. But that wasn’t enough. Lauren began to stamp on the name with her front hooves, then, with a final blow, slammed a hoof into the center of the scribble. This single act sent out a wave of power the likes of which nobody present—not even Goku—had ever felt before. The ground shook once more, only this time cracks shot out in a spider-web from the point of impact, racing across the ground.
Lauren had released all the anger she could, but it didn’t help. Not one bit. All the rage in the world couldn’t bring her friends back. Lauren’s face fell into her hooves and she wept. 
BOOM.
A bright flash lit up the sky, like a fireworks display doing a rather impressive imitation of a supernova. The lights shot out across from the far horizon, flinging miniature bits and pieces of flaming debris like comets falling to Earth. The comets began impacting all around the battlefield, smashing into mountains and punching new craters into the earth. Goku tried to dodge as many as he could, but there were many, littering down from the sky like a hailstorm on fire. Bugs expertly sidestepped quite a few as well, simply because though he may be immortal he could still feel pain and certainly didn’t wish to feel a falling star crashing his face in. Lauren did nothing, didn’t so much as flinch, even as sparks singed her fur and mane and poked holes in the ground all around her.
Lauren didn’t so much as feel a thing. She couldn’t die. She couldn’t even feel pain. So what was the point in dodging the inevitably harmless?
Lauren did look up, however, when a mechanical pinging sound assaulted her ears. It was among the things Lauren expected least to hear—the sound of Vegeta’s scouter reading somepony’s power level. And if Vegeta’s scouter was back, then that meant the sayin prince was as well, and that meant she could introduce her horn to his inner entrails.
Lauren lifted her head, eyes glowing red, but they simmered back to normal in shocked surprise when the saw, instead of Vegeta, a small piece of him. His head, in fact—severed at the neck and looking like it had been through the heart of the Sun, though somehow the scouter was still intact on the sayin prince’s head, pointing straight at Lauren.
“What the…” Lauren uttered, unsure of what she was seeing. Then, looking around, Lauren saw that Vegeta’s head wasn’t the only body part that had made it to the party. In fact, all of the shooting stars appeared to be smoldering remains of the sayin prince’s dismembered and exploded form. 
Lauren’s eyes swept the landscape, taking in all the destruction the remains of a single person had caused. If just pieces of Vegeta had done this to the environment, then what had possibly been powerful enough to take out the sayin prince himself? 
As Lauren’s eyes moved over the burning, pockmarked wasteland, though, her eyes caught sight of a scribbled mass in the dirt—where she had viciously erased Vegeta’s name. 
And the puzzle piece fell into place.
“No…” Lauren announced. “No, it can’t be—that’s not possible—”
“Lauren!” Bugs shouted, rushing over. “I saw—I saw what you just did—”
“I killed him,” Lauren whispered to herself, before a smile nearly split her muzzle in two and the alicorn began laughing. “I killed him! TAKE THAT, YOU HEARTLESS MOTHERBUCKER!” 
“You mean…YOU did this?!” Goku asked, incredulous, as he flew over to the group. “But…how?!”
“It must have been my cutie mark!” Lauren realized.
“Your what?” Goku questioned, thoroughly confused.
Lauren pointed a wingtip to the inkwell and quill emblazoned on her flank.
“According to my friends, a cutie mark reflects a pony’s special talent,” Lauren explained. “I thought this meant I was supposed to be a writer, which didn’t make sense, because I never was much one for writing—I was always a mare of action. But that’s not what my cutie mark meant at all. It didn’t mean ‘writer.’ It meant ‘reality writer.’”
“Huh?” Goku uttered, still not understanding. 
Lauren didn’t blame him—she could hardly believe it herself. 
Lauren pointed with her horn to the scribbled mass in the dirt. 
“I was so mad at Vegeta, but I couldn’t do anything to stop him,” Lauren went on. “So I wrote his name in the dirt and then crossed it out—a lot. I didn’t even know why I was doing it, it must have just been some kind of coping mechanism for getting my anger out, but when I crossed out Vegeta’s name and then proceeded to do all kinds of angry things to it, they must have happened to the real person as well!”
“You mean, what you wrote…became true?!” Goku gasped.
“I think so,” Lauren confirmed.
“And I think I know why,” Bugs cut in, picking up the scouter off Vegeta’s head, careful not to actually touch the flayed flesh of the smoldering skull. “This thing is supposed to tell how powerful somebody is, right? Well, this thing has an image of Lauren on it, so she must have been the last person it scanned. According to Vegeta, it usually gave out numbers to tell how strong somebody was—and you’ll never believe the number Lauren’s been assigned.”
“What is it?” Goku inquired.
“Let’s just say that, Lauren, you have truly become the Animated goddess you were turned into,” Bugs announced, flipping the scouter to show a sideways eight—the symbol for infinity.
Goku’s jaw simply dropped, and he was silent. 
“I…inf…infinity…” Lauren mouthed, but said nothing. Then, finally, realizing what the full implications of that number meant, the alicorn—not the ‘new’ alicorn anymore, just THE alicorn—shouted “But I don’t want to be a goddess!”
“I know, Lauren,” Bugs told her. “But it doesn’t look like you have much of a choice in the matter. You’re still you, but you’re already starting to act like an Animated goddess as well.”
“What…but, no I’m not!” Lauren insisted. Then, remembering what she had said to Goku, the alicorn turned to her sayin friend and “Goku! I’m so sorry—I don’t know what came over me—”
“It’s alright, Lauren ,” Goku said slowly, seeming to be coming out of his daze at last. “I know that was the anger talking, not you.”
“Nevertheless,” Bugs went on. “That ‘anger’ is just going to get worse. And, personally, I don’t see what’s wrong with that. Being Animated is a great gift, Lauren.”
“I don’t WANT this ‘gift!’” Lauren spat. “I’m a friend to Animation; I don’t want to actually BE Animated! I want to be human—I want to be with Craig!”
“So that’s what this is about,” Bugs realized. “Well, there are probably ways to turn him Animated too, you know. In fact, while we’re at it, we could turn the whole human race Animated!”
Lauren stopped cold. 
“No,” she said firmly to her godfather. “No, that is not going to happen. They all deserve a choice, and even if I’m not human anymore, I deserve one too. And I choose to be human.”
“But, Lauren—” Bugs began again.
“No!” Lauren cut him off angrily, just as much to shut out her own fears of actually starting to want to agree with Bugs as to enforce her already-made-up mind. At least, she HOPED that it was made up. Then, Lauren brightened up as she realized something. Something important. “Hey—if I can kill with this ‘rewriting reality’ thing, then maybe I can bring people back to life with it too!”
Before any of her friends could say anything, Lauren launched herself at the dirt and began tracing the names of her friends, followed by the phrase ‘ARE ALIVE.’
Lauren closed her eyes, biting her lip, hoping—no, praying—that it would work.
After a moment, the alicorn squinted her eyes open, but saw nothing but Goku and Bugs looking sorrowfully back at her.
“Sometimes even gods can have trouble bringing back the dead,” Bugs said apologetically. “I guess that the only way for us to get them back really would have been those Dragon Balls.”
“But without Vegeta, we’ll never get there,” Goku sighed.
Lauren suddenly brightened up instantly. 
“No, wait!” the alicorn realized, laughing. “We can still find them!”
Lauren put her hoof in the dirt once more, tracing her own name as well as the names of her living friends, followed by the phrase ‘ARE ON NAMEK.’
There was a flash, and then a cold wind blew across the empty battlefield. Some forty-three million light years away, some very surprised Namekians discovered a tall rabbit in a business suit, a shocked sayin warrior, and a laughing alicorn in their melon patch.
. . .
> Chapter 13
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 13

“We made it!” Lauren laughed out loud. 
Goku simply looked around, wearing a stunned expression, speechless. Bugs smiled broadly. 
“You see, Lauren?” Bugs inquired. “Embracing your Animated side is a good thing!”
Lauren shot Bugs a dark look, but didn’t say anymore—she’d talked enough about THAT today. 
“Now, to find those Dragon Balls…” Lauren murmured, turning to take a good look at the landscape of this new planet for the first time. However, the first thing she saw were a gaggle of what appeared to be other members of Piccolo’s race, green-skinned aliens with antennae. Understandably, they looked quite shocked to see a trio of what to them must be totally alien creatures who had suddenly appeared in front of them. 
“You’re after…the Dragon Balls…?” the tallest Namekian quavered. 
“Yes!” Lauren latched onto what could be a potential lead to finding the mystic orbs that would bring her friends back. “Could you direct us to them?”
“RUN!” screamed the tallest Namekian, and the others promptly obeyed.
“Wonder what’s eatin’ them?” Bugs scratched his head absentmindedly. “I guess that means we won’t be receiving any help from the locals.”
“We won’t need any help from the locals,” Lauren informed her godfather, squatting down to the rich soil of the melon patch the group had found themselves in. “With just a line of writing, we can bring the dragon balls all right here!”
Lauren scratched out the phrase ‘THE DRAGON BALLS ARE RIGHT HERE’ in the dirt, then stood up and looked around expectantly.
Nothing happened. 
“Huh?” Lauren wondered aloud. “Where are they? They’re supposed to be right here!”
“…Maybe your magic doesn’t work on the Dragon Balls?” Goku suggested. “After all, they’re magic too.”
“I guess that makes sense,” Lauren conceded reluctantly. “If I can’t make ponies come back to life, then why should I be able to affect things that can?”
“Don’t worry, Lauren!” Bugs said encouragingly. “With your power, Goku’s fighting skills, and my, well, being me, we’ll find those Dragon Balls in no time! I mean, it’s not like anyone else is looking for them, right?”
“Looking for what?” 
The team, or what was left of them, turned to see who had spoken and laid eyes on a small horned alien sitting in a hovering machine. Flanking the odd creature were equally odd specimens that were nevertheless vaguely humanoid, one being round and pink with a spiky head and the other being tall, green, and sporting long braided hair. 
But Lauren and the team weren’t really paying attention to any of that—because both of the aliens flanking the creature in the machine were holding two Dragon Balls apiece. 
“The Dragon Balls!” Goku laughed. “I didn’t think finding them would be that easy!”
“Oh, these?” the alien in the center inquired, raising an eyebrow. “They were actually a lot harder to come by than you might imagine. I had to go from village to village collecting them.”
“And they just let you borrow them?” Goku wondered. “Gee, the Namekians on this planet sure must be a lot friendlier than Piccolo.”
“Friendlier?” the alien chuckled. “Heavens, no. We had to kill them all.”
“WHAT?!” Lauren gasped. “But, why?!”
“Because they wouldn’t tell us where the Dragon Balls were unless we tortured and threatened the information out of them,” the alien replied causally, as if he did this sort of thing every day. “Why do you ask? Are you looking for the Dragon Balls as well?”
“Yes, actually,” Bugs answered uneasily. “You see, some friends of ours—”
“Then I suppose we’ll just have to kill you all as well to eliminate the competition!” the alien announced. “Zarbon? Dedoria? You know what to do.”
“Yes, Lord Freeza,” the two aliens flanking the central commander, who must be ‘Lord Freeza,’ replied in unison. The two aliens sat the Dragon Balls down next to their master’s machine and assumed a battle stance, eyeing Lauren and the team almost with boredom. Lauren supposed that to a bunch of genocidal killers, a few more corpses were probably just one more thing to cross off the day’s checklist. 
Well, if they were expecting an easy takedown, then they had another thing coming. Of course, that didn’t mean Lauren couldn’t try to reason with them first...for their sakes.
“Please, you have to listen,” Lauren spoke up as the aliens advanced and Goku and Bugs nervously assumed defensive stances of their own. One may have been immortal and one may have been Earth’s best fighter, but taking on a fighting force that casually slayed the people of a planet like it was nothing was still no laughing matter. Bugs could still feel pain, and Goku had no comparison to judge whether these foes would be anywhere near his equal or his superiors in battle. “We have a good reason for needing the Dragon Balls—if we don’t use them to bring our friends back from the dead, then all of reality is in jeopardy!”
“I must admit, that’s a new one,” Freeza smiled darkly. “And how exactly would your friends being alive again save reality?”
“It’s kind of a long story,” Bugs said. “But if you asked your friends here to not try and kill us, we’d be happy to tell ya.”
“I’m afraid that’s not going to happen,” Freeza’s grin only broadened. “You see, on top of not believing a word you’ve said so far, as I’ve come across some pretty creative excuses in my days as being a galactic warlord, I’ve never seen life-forms quite like you three. It’s always nice to gauge the power levels of new species before I crush them, to see which of my men I should send to bring their puny little planets under my rule.”
“Power levels?” Goku echoed. “Vegeta already scanned our power levels, and it didn’t end up well for him.”
“You killed Vegeta?” Freeza cocked an eyebrow.
“No, but we definitely defeated him, so I’d be careful if I were you,” Goku warned.
“But therein lies your problem,” Freeza grinned again as Zarbon and Dedoria crouched to spring into action. “You’re not me. Either one of my top men here could kill Vegeta in an instant, or I could kill him myself if I accidentally sneeze too hard. You, on the other hand, don’t appear to be the type that could stand up to Vegeta anyway, so I assume you merely escaped him. Alright, then, let’s get this show on the road—I’ve got other people to kill today!”
Zarbon and Dedoria launched themselves into the sky, zooming at the team with their fists pulled back for a punch. Goku leapt into the air and dodged the green alien, while Bugs whipped out a spring to catch the pink alien’s fist and send it flying back at him to crush his face in. 
The pink alien screamed in pain, staggering backward while Goku flew in and delivered a swift kick to his gut. Unfortunately, all this did was leave Goku cringing in pain at his sore foot as the pink alien continued to bemoan his face, apparently not even having noticed Goku’s attempted attack.
“This is bad,” Lauren gulped. “Wait a minute, what am I worried about? All I have to do is—”
Before Lauren could finish her sentence, though, the green alien whirled around from where he’d missed Goku and carried the continued momentum of his punch at Lauren’s neck. It connected, and the ear-splitting crunch of bones shattering exploded into the air.
The bones that were shattering, though, belonged to the green alien’s hand.
“MY HAND!” the tall fighter yelled. “I think it’s broken!”
Not only was it broken, it slumped as he raised it to his face, whatever bones that were once inside it having been pulverized to powder, making his hand akin to a bean-bag. 
Lauren, however, stood shocked and stock-still. She hadn’t felt a thing. She hadn’t felt the burn of Vegeta’s blast back on Earth, but these two fighters were supposed to be able to kill Vegeta easily—and she could grind their bones to dust without even trying?
“What the—” Freeza uttered, actually looking surprised. “Dedoria, stop your moaning and attack the white quadruped. I want to see something.”
“Y-yes, Lord Freeza,” the pink alien, apparently Dedoria, complied. Flying over to Lauren, who turned to see him coming too late to dodge, Dedoria smacked his other fist into Lauren’s muzzle—only for it to explode like a burlap sack full of blood fallen from a great height. Bone-fragments and oddly-colored internal fluids cascaded onto the team, leaving Dedoria wailing in pain.
“That’s not possible!” Freeza exclaimed. “What is your power level, anyway?”
Freeza pressed the button on the side of the device he was wearing over his eye, the same kind that the team had seen Vegeta using. When it beeped that it had read Lauren’s strength, Freeza’s face lit up in surprise and then went dead cold with fear.
“What are you, a Kai or something?!” Freeza blurted. “No, not even a Kai is THAT powerful—”
“I’m one of a kind,” Lauren replied with a smirk, fully enjoying the fear she saw on the genocidal tyrant’s face. It was nice to see the tables turned. “And if you don’t give us those Dragon Balls, then I’ll show you just what a ‘one of a kind’ can do when they actually TRY to fight.”
“Sure, here, take them!” Freeza agreed hastily and laughing in outright fear. With a flash, his machine sped up into the sky, to be quickly followed by the still profusely bleeding and equally terrified goons. 
“Well, that was a lot easier than I thought it would be after all,” Goku smiled as he touched down next to Lauren and Bugs again. “You didn’t even need to write anything, and we still found the Dragon Balls!”
“Only four of them,” Lauren noted, though she too was smiling. “Still, I can’t bear to see those monsters roving free around the galaxy. Let’s do a little writing after all, shall we?”
Lauren leaned down to the dirt again, and began to scrape out letters.
. . .
All across planet Namek, armies of aliens of all kinds abruptly vanished, leaving the peaceful green-skinned natives rather confused. Even Lord Freeza himself was nowhere to be found. In their place, though, were several hundred purely-golden statues, each bearing a plaque reading ‘Genocide isn’t nice. Don’t do it. Love, Lauren.’
. . .
“So how do we find the other Dragon Balls?” Lauren wondered aloud.
“That jerk Freeza said they were all hidden in villages,” Goku postulated. “So I guess we just go from village to village, explain why we need the Dragon Balls, ask for them nicely, and then we’ll have our friends back in no time!”
“But there could be thousands of villages across the planet,” Bugs pointed out. “It could take months, even years, if we tracked them all down one-by-one—even with Lauren’s teleporting and reality-altering writing. Freeza had an army of hundreds; we have an army of three.”
“I’ve got it!” Goku exclaimed in a eureka moment. “Back on Earth, Kami was the chief Namekian and knew more about the Dragon Balls than anyone else. I’m guessing that if we find the chief Namekian on this planet, he can tell us where the last three Dragon Balls are.”
“And with Lauren’s writing ability, we can find that guy in an instant!” Bugs agreed. “But seriously Lauren, you need a notebook or something. Writing in the dirt is getting a little old. You’re a royal goddess! You need to add some finesse to your work!”
“Alright then,” Lauren approved, at least of finding the chief Namekian and the notebook part. Writing in the dirt for a final time, Lauren spelled out ‘I HAVE A NOTEBOOK AND PEN’ and one appeared in front of her, ornately gilded with an image of an alicorn. After a few tries, Lauren’s horn sparked enough to hold the notebook telekinetically in the air, and she held the quill that had appeared with it in her mouth to write ‘WE ARE AT THE CHIEF NAMEKIAN’S HOME.’ 
In a flash, they were.
Though, to be perfectly honest, the chief Namekian’s home was a bit of a let-down. It was little more than a squat, domed white building jutting up from the grassy plains that were the only landscape the team had seen while on this planet. Nevertheless, the answer to getting their friends back lay within, and so the team hastened inside—
—only to be stopped by a tall Namekian bearing a striking resemblance to Piccolo. 
“Uh…Hello?” Lauren ventured after an uncomfortable moment of the green-skinned man’s silent stare. “We’re here to see the chief Namekian…”
The man continued to stare, his brow lowering.
“It’s really important that we see him!” Goku added uneasily. “You see, if we don’t see him—
The green alien suddenly flew forward and kneed Goku in the stomach, sending him soaring backwards and landing on his back.
“Nobody gets into see Lord Guru!” the alien roared.
“What the—what was THAT for?!” Lauren yelled. “We just saved your planet and this is the thanks we get?!”
“Saved their planet?” Bugs wondered aloud.
“Saved our planet?” the alien echoed skeptically. “You’re not from here! You’re the ones trying to take OVER our planet, not SAVE it!”
“Oh, so that’s what this is about,” Goku chuckled, getting up but still clutching his stomach painfully. “No, you see, we’re not with that Freezer guy.”
“Not at all,” Lauren agreed. “We just turned him and all his men into a monument against genocide.”
“So that’s what you wrote down,” Bugs announced. “I was wondering.”
“I…I don’t believe you!” the alien barked, rushing up and pulling his fist into a punch aimed straight at Lauren. 
Fortunately (for the alien) though, before he could connect a voice rang out from inside the squat white building, shouting “Nail! Stop!”
The Namekian, apparently named ‘Nail,’ complied instantly, his fist inches from Lauren’s muzzle.
“But, Lord Guru—” Nail called back.
“No buts!” the other voice, who must have been Lord Guru, commanded. “They speak the truth. I sense that the hostile presence has left the planet.”
“R-really?” Nail brightened up immediately. “I’m so sorry! You guys really did save our planet? By all means, please go right on in!”
“Nice to actually get some thanks,” Lauren muttered as the Namekian ushered them all inside the building. 
Once inside the place, Nail rushed forward before the group and bowed at the feet of the largest, fattest Namekian any of the team had ever seen. Lauren had actually seen far worse cases of obesity in her travels as an Animation Agent, and Bugs knew quite a few porkers on top of that, but Goku had trouble trying not to stare at the creature’s sheer immensity. 
“First off, I just want to thank you all for saving our planet,” the blob—er, Lord Guru—spoke. “For this, I will grant you anything our planet has to offer as a reward.”
“Thank you, uh, your majesty—” Lauren ventured, not quite sure what to call the leader of an alien race.
“Call me Guru, please,” the Namekian smiled.
“Guru,” Lauren echoed. “We seek the Dragon Balls to bring our friends back from the dead. It is most urgent that we do this, as so much depends on their being alive.”
“This wish is a noble one, and thankfully within our ability to grant,” Lord Guru spoke.
“Thank you, Guru!” Lauren beamed, happy to beg getting her friends back at last.
“However…”
No, no, NO! There was always something in the way! What could it be THIS time?!
“Our Dragon Balls can only bring back one person at a time,” Lord Guru cautioned. “How many friends do you wish to bring back?”
Lauren’s head fell and her ears drooped as she answered “Six.”
“That is unfortunate,” Lord Guru apologized. “Our Dragon Balls grant three wishes, but even then, only three of your friends could come back. It seems we face a conundrum. Unless…”
“What is it?” Lauren perked up instantly, latching onto any hope she had of retrieving her fallen comrades. 
“There is a way to bring them all back at once,” Lord Guru spoke, though there was fear behind his voice.
“Lord Guru, surely you can’t mean…” Nail blurted. “But, that goes against our most ancient laws! The consequences would be dire for all involved! It’s…it’s not natural! It goes against the very rules of reality!” 
“I know this!” Lord Guru thundered. “But still…it may be the only way. And with the three wishes, we may even be able to undo the abomination.”
“That is true,” Nail realized. “But to even perform such an action in the first place…”
“Sorry to interrupt, but what are you guys talking about?” Lauren interjected. “What are you so afraid of? If it brings our friends back, then how could it be a bad thing? And what is ‘it’ anyway?”
“It is one of our most ancient spells, more ancient than even the Dragon Balls themselves,” Lord Guru answered. “It is powerful, yet perverse, magic. It is against not only our laws as a species, but as Nail said, the rules of reality as well.”
“If we don’t get our friends back, there won’t be any reality at all anyway,” Lauren spoke up. 
“What?” Lord Guru questioned, surprised to hear this. “How could…but I sense that what you say is the truth! Very well, we MUST perform this spell. For the good of creation!”
“But Lord Guru,” Nail wondered again, even more fear creeping into his voice than could be heard behind Lord Guru’s. If his master was afraid of the end of reality, then how much more terrified must Nail himself be? “How can we perform the spell if these friends are all dead?”
“That is where you come in, Nail,” Lord Guru spoke up. “I am sorry it must come to this, but we must kill you.”
“WHAT?!” the entire team, and Nail, gasped.
“Only a Namekian can perform the spell, and Nail is my most trusted servant,” Guru explained. “He must join your friends in death to cast the magic. I can’t do it myself because without me alive the Dragon Balls won’t work. But rest assured, Nail; we can use the first wish to bring back these friends, the second to bring back you, and the third to undo the spell.”
“As horrible as that sounds, it doesn’t seem too different from what we had to do to send the ponies into this universe’s afterlife in the first place,” Bugs reasoned. “And if everything will be made right again with the third wish, then…”
“It does seem like the only way,” Goku admitted as well. “Sorry, Nail.”
Nail looked frightened, but he didn’t back down, saying “If you believe this is the best course of action, then I shall do it for you, Lord Guru.”
“Thank you, Nail,” Lord Guru nodded. “Now, stand back.”
The team complied, and Nail stood in the center of the room, alone. With what appeared to be a tremendous effort for the blubbery old alien, Lord Guru opened his mouth and let fly a beam of incinerating energy, completely obliterating the Namekian that stood before him. All that was left was a darkened spot on the floor.
It had happened so fast that Lauren hadn’t even had time to look away. She tensed, biting back tears—it may have been for the good of reality, and Nail should be back as soon as they wished on the Dragon Balls, but she prayed that this was the last time the team would have to kill anyone.
“Now, two Dragon Balls remain,” Lord Guru sighed, seeming to silently share Lauren’s sentiment. “I keep one with me at all times, but two of you must fly out to the Village of Green Rivers and the Village of Blue Grass to retrieve the last of them. Simply tell them Lord Guru sent you, and they should give you the Dragon Balls without hesitation.”
“Sorry to say this, Guru,” Goku said. “But I’m afraid we don’t exactly know where those villages are—”
“No problem,” Lauren announced, telekinetically pulling out her notebook from…well, she wasn’t sure where. She really must be beginning to become more and more Animated if she was pulling things out of nowhere like Bugs did. The thought made Lauren shiver, but she tried to ignore it and wrote that Bugs and Goku were at the villages. 
In a flash, Bugs and Goku had gone. 
Lauren and Lord Guru waited in silence, and when Lauren felt enough time had passed she wrote ‘BUGS AND GOKU ARE BACK HERE.’ In a flash, they were, and set the last two Dragon Balls at Lord Guru’s feet.
With great effort, Lord Guru revealed a Dragon Ball he had been keeping himself and placed it with the rest, forming a circle of the shimmering golden orbs. 
“Nail should have performed the spell by now,” Lord Guru announced. “It is time. O Great Dragon Porunga, I call upon thee!”
BOOM.
There was a crack of what might have been thunder and what might have a nuclear war, and the roof of the small squat building was blown into the air as a blast of light shone up from the Dragon Balls, illuminating the sky for miles around. The light shimmered and twisted, forming a colossal shape that dimmed and took on the appearance of a gigantic, monstrous dragon. Its eyes glowed red, and its muscles bulged, spines scraping the sky from its back as its twisting tail seemed to swish back and forth beyond the horizon.
“Whoa, you’re dragon is WAY bigger than our dragon on Earth!” Goku exclaimed, amazed.
“I’ve seen a lot of dragons on my day,” Lauren remarked, equally amazed. “And I can easily say that this one takes the cake.”
“I am the Great Dragon Porunga,” the dragon boomed, seeming to shake the very atoms of the planet as it spoke. “I will grant thee three wishes. What do you desire?”
“O Great Dragon Porunga,” Lord Guru yelled up to the behemoth. “With our first two wishes, we call upon thee to bring back from the dead the friend of these brave warriors and my servant Nail!”
“Friend?” Lauren echoed, having to yell over the whipping wind and violent humming of pure energy that accompanied the dragon’s presence. “As in singular? But we have six friends! What’s he talking about?!”
“I don’t know!” Bugs yelled back. “But we’re about to find out!”
The dragon closed its eyes, and when they opened again a blinding flash shot out from each of them and slammed into the ground in the center of the Dragon Balls. The two flashes dissipated just as quickly as they had erupted into being, leaving two shapes where they had once been. The ash left behind by Nail’s death had been swept away to reveal two figures.
They both stood uneasily, and the team saw that Nail had returned, having brought along with him something of vaguely pony shape.
But it wasn’t any one of the team’s friends. 
Instead, the pony before the team sported wings with both cyan and buttercream-colored feathers. Behind that was a tail of decidedly pink hue and curly, fluffy texture, though it had highlights of all sort of other hues. A Stetson hat adorned a mane of elegantly curling rainbow textures, while a lengthy horn with intertwining bands of white and purple spun up out of the pony’s forehead. The body, though familiar in shape, wore a coat with an army of colors like a field of wildflowers. 
Though the creature had both large wings and a long horn, it was clearly not an alicorn, for it lacked the familiar proportions and height—but that was far from the strangest thing about it.
No, the strangest thing about the pony was its eyes. They were at once alien and instantly recognizable; they bore lashes of varying lengths and curvatures with irises that sported flecks of all the colors one could dream of.
“Hey, guys,” the pony spoke once it saw the team staring at it slack-jawed. “Believe me—er, us—if you think this is weird to look at, imagine what it’s like to BE like this.”
No, what stood before the team wasn’t any one of their friends. 
It was all of them at once.
. . .