Rarehammer

by Talvox

First published

A Warhammer 40,000 crossover where Rarity is a Space Marine.

Rarity's been hiding a secret, even from Sweetie Belle. And it makes the least sense of all, because Rarity hates getting dirty. Because it least of all makes sense to her friends. A Space Marine is designed to keep the Imperium from falling, but Rarity, she protects Equestria from harm. And it's pretty hard keeping that from her friends.

This is the first story of a "mini" series of the Mane six in a Warhammer 40k setting.

Chapter I: The Ork's Presence

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Rarehammer

Chapter I: The Ork's Presence

The Sun had risen over little Ponyville. Rarity, asleep in her over comfortable silken bed, awoke as the Equestrian sun entered her bedroom. Yawning, she stretched luxuriously, pushing the soft bed covers off her, slid out of bed and put on her nice, warm, fuzzy robe.

Yawning again, she began to trot out of her room, and downwards to the kitchen to have a nice, delicious breakfast. On her way down, she paused by Sweetie Belle's door, and heard her cute, soft breathing, then continued her walk down to the kitchen. Once in the kitchen, she sent two pieces of bread into the toaster, set an egg into the frying pan (Without the shell, of course.), then, noticing a basket of apples Applejack left for her, because they had a really nice harvesting day, decided that Apple cider would be more appropriate; wasting such good apples would be a crime.

About three minutes later, Rarity had her breakfast nearly ready. She buttered her toast, and poured some Apple cider into a glass she magic'ed out of one of her cupboards, and sat down, waiting for the egg to finish cooking in the frying pan.

The smell of Rarity's delicious breakfast must've been strong, because, a moment later, Sweetie Belle practically floated down the stairs , carried by the smell of toast and scrambled egg.

"Morning Sweetie Belle," Rarity said, as the smell carried Sweetie Belle into a chair, next to Rarity.

"Hello, sis!" Sweetie Belle said in her sweet, high-pitched voice.

"Can I have some?" She asked.

"Of course, do you really expect me to eat all of this myself?" Rarity responded, pausing to nuzzle Sweetie Belle's head, then she used her magic to get another glass and plate, pouring some apple juice into her glass, then floated a piece of toast and about half of the egg onto Sweetie Belle's plate, then getting two forks and plenty of napkins. They dug in, eating their breakfast.

* * *

Later That Day

"Applejack, darling, I just don't think I can make these apple baskets tougher. I can certainly stylize them, but I don't think that's what you're after."

Rarity had been asked to "upgrade" Applejack's apple baskets, because, quite simply, the Apple Family had been testing a new fertilizer. The fertilizer had worked, making the apples at least 3 times tastier than before, but made the apples at least 12 pounds heavier.

"Ahright, thanks anahways," Applejack taking the slightly modified baskets with her.

"I'll see you later," Rarity said, and turned , to walk through the Apple family's Apple orchard, back down the path, towards her Fashion Boutique.

However, as she trotted along the path, a flash of unnatural green caught her eye. She stopped dead, then slowly walked towards it slowly, and cautiously. As she approached, she recognized what the unnaturally green thing was. It was something she hoped would never find Equestria.

Back at her Boutique, Rarity trotted behind the mannequin that was surrounded by mirrors. Standing there, dazed for a few seconds, then called up to Sweetie Belle.

"Sweetie Belle, dear, I need you to stay upstairs for a while."

"Why?" she whined.

"I'm not feeling well, and don't argue with me please," Rarity lied.

"Fine," Sweetie Belle pouted,then headed into her room.

Rarity watched Sweetie Belle's retreating figure, then, breathing slightly heavier than usual, raised her right forehoof, then pulled a candle-stick, causing a cliche secret passage to appear, meaning one of the mirros turned sideways, revealing a small tunnel. Rarity entered, and the mirror flipped back and closed the passage.

* * *

Nearly an hour later, Sweetie Belle heard somepony knocking on the front door of the Boutique. When the door was knocked upon again, Sweetie Belle decided to ignore Rarity's request and go open the door.

It was Applejack.

"Hi there, Sweetie Belle!" She said.

"Do ya know where Rarity is?"

"Uh... Rare!" Sweetie Belle called over her shoulder." Sweetie Belle yelled over her shoulder. When she didn't respond, she called again.

"Rarity, Applejack's here!"

Still no answer.

"That's weird," Sweetie Belle said.

"Ah can come back later, if ya want me to," Applejack said.

"Okay," Sweetie Belle said, then started to close the door.

"Oh hang on, Apple Bloom wanted you to come over," Applejack said quickly, before Sweetie Belle finished closing the door.

"Okay!" Sweetie Belle said, exiting the Boutique, then closing the door behind her, off to the Apple Farm.

* * *

The Ork Camp

Quite deep in the Everfree Forest, there was a mob of Orks setting up camp.

"Uh, boss, wherez is we?" one of the Nobz asked.

"Wherez do ye thinks we'z is? We'z in da middle of a forest ya git!" Gruntsmasha spat, spraying ork spit all over the place, one of those places being the Nobz' face.

"I knowz dat boss, but-"

"Then whyz da hell did ya ask!" Gruntsmasha roared.

"I meant wot planet we'z on is!" the Nob said.

"I dunno, do I?" Gruntsmasha yelled, then ripped off the Nob's head.

The gretchins nearby stopped working, and stared.

"Wot'z you'z looking at? Get back ta work!" Gruntsmasha said.

The gretchins immediately set back to building the Command Tent.

Gruntsmasha's name orrginated from his great liking of mashing lazy gretchins to bits. Some gretchins confirmed the all too true rumors about Gruntsmasha. By then, Gruntsmasha had found a nice, spikey stick to stick the Nob's head on. The stick was going to be set right outside the Command Tent's entrance.

And thus, the Heart of the Ork Invasion went inside the Command Tent, in a very deep part of the Everfree forest.

* * *

In the Everfree Forest

Rarity thought she looked pretty friggin' awesome. She was wearing Mark VII Aquila Power Armor. The armor made her stand on her hind legs; and she had fingers. (Oh, Lyra would be so jealous.) Her weapons of choice were two Bolters and a Thunderhammer.

Rarity had met the orks before. But that was before she arrived in Equestria. She had been a nomad, part of no Space Marine Chapter, before she settled into fashion. She was still an artistic person, even back then. The Orks certainly knew who she was. She was known as the "Death Weaver," by Orks, Eldar, and even the Necrons. And all of them feared the Death Weaver.

Rarity had made sure she had plenty of ammo, for more ammo meant more Ork scum dead. After she checked her ammo stocks, she holstered a Bolter, with the other Bolter in her left hand, the Thunderhammer in her right. Quite ready to purge the Orks, she exited her little "Hub," where she stored her Power armor, the Bolters and the Thunderhammer, and went down a tunnel.

The entrance to the tunnel was Timberwolf territory, making it quite conveniently easy to hide.

A few minutes later, Rarity emerged into the Everfree Forest.

Almost immediately, Timberwolves pounced, aiming to tear Rarity's lungs out, but she was ready. She swung the Thunderhammer and it connected with one of the wolves' torso, then brought the hammer swinging down, smashing one of the other wolves' head. Both wolves shattered, flying apart and coming to rest on the forest floor.

Several other wolves' had been watching, but then retreated. Reforming was pretty hard after getting smashed by a Thunderhammer; Rarity wasn't going to waste Bolter ammo on timberwolves.

* * *

The Ork Camp, A few Hours Later

Gruntsmasha had his base mostly setup. The Boyz had a hut, where the only thing that really happened was Orkz were given either Slugga and a Choppa, or Shootaz. And occasionally poker matches happened, but those ended up with someone's arm being ripped off. And a few cards being chopped. Also, it apparently like, a minute and a half to give an Ork a choppa. Weird.

After a fair while, Gruntsmasha had a sizeable WAAAGH!!!. Gruntsmasha planned to conquer this planet, then loot whatever tech it had. Quite simply, Ork business as usual. What the Orks didn't expect was that the Death Weaver had settled down on this planet. And the fact the only MAJOR technological advancement was Pinkie Pie.

"Time to smash stuff!" Gruntsmasha yelled. "We'z gonna go break dem Humies in 'alf and eat 'em for breakfas'!"

"But Boss, it's pas' breakfas' time!" A rather idiotic Ork shouted.

"Shaddup!" Gruntsmasha yelled and mashed his face in. They ate him for dinner.

The Orks then exited their little encampment of sorts. I feel bad for the trees.

* * *

Rarity felt she was nearing the Ork encampment. For one thing, a nasty smell was growing stronger, and there was an absence of wildlife.

She was walking carefully with both of her Bolters drawn. Out in the distance, she saw some gretchins lucky enough not to get smashed by Gruntsmasha building a Waaagh! Banner. Rarity holstered a bolter then pulled out her Thunderhammer. She held the Hammer back, preparing to throw it out at the nearly finished Waaagh! banner. She launched it. and a shockwave spread outwards from the hammer's impact point. The wooden structure flew apart and sent wood splinters everywhere. Several wood shards impaled themselves inside unlucky Gretchins. They fell to the ground, their heads leaking a rather unusual amount of blood for a 2-foot sentient.

The remaining Gretchins, more often than not covered in wood splinters; Wood shards were sticking out of their arms, legs, back, chest, and for a VERY unlucky few, in the EXTREME low belly.

After pausing to see the hilarious effect of the gretchins being thrown into chaos, Rarity charged, Bolters ablazing, with her back legs pounding the forest floor. Her bullets had found more than a few gretchins.

"Run! The Death Wea-" A gretchin yelled, but was rudely interrupted by a bolter shot entering his skull.

After massacring the gretchins, Rarity retrieved her Thunderhammer, then checked her ammo stocks. She had loosed 2 clips into the gretchins.

"Darnit," she muttered. She had 6 clips left; 3 for each bolter. Rarity decided to holster both bolters, and focus using her Thunderhammer. The gretchins weren't exactly subtle in their fleeing methods. They were plenty of greenskin tracks to follow.

Keeping her hammer ready, she started to move along the road of feet tracks. The gretchins had left quite a road left behind them; they were millions of little footprints all along the forest floor. But there was also something interesting along the path. A stick with an Ork head stuck upon it. Now that wasn't unusual for Orks, but it certainly was when it was the head of a rather respected Ork who wasn't that incompetent. Rarity recognized this ork's head, she had seen him before on a different planet, back when she was a nomad. There was certainly more than the Ork's presence here on Equestria. She'd have to check it out later; there were Orks to purge.

* * *

Sometime later, Rarity had come across the Ork encampment. But there was a rather large absence of orks there. Plus a bunch of trees knocked down, some Wartrak tracks, and plenty of dead gretchins.

That must mean the orks have gone on their attack. I need to get out of here. Rarity thought. She ran off to follow the ork tracks.