> The Princess and the Human
>  by Ausbrony
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> A change in Monotony.
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


The Princess and the Human.


Chapter One – A change in Monotony.

It was a morning like any other. He would wake up, bathe, eat breakfast and be on his way. He already knew how the rest day would play out. The sights and smells on the way to work never changed either. There was the drunken, homeless, doomsday prophet outside his apartment building. There was the never ending tide of motor vehicles that ran down the street. The people that just went about their own meagre lives. It never changed and it probably never will.
Once he got to work he would be greeted by the same old, same old. The boss on a tirade over him arriving late, despite the fact he would arrive five minutes early. The other slack-jawed casual that had no right to even work here, but he was the boss’s friend.

People would come and people would go. He would smile and sell them the products that they wanted and get them to buy things they didn’t. It was nothing more than a repeated routine that he did over and over. 
After work, he would head back to his little apartment. It was a place that offered a retreat from the everyday… but not the monotony. 

Kai stretched and glanced at his bedside clock. He had just over two hours to get to work so that meant plenty of time. He checked the small solar panel that hung from his window and attached a flat battery to it. He got up and after brushing his teeth and having a quick shower he was ready to go. 
He locked his apartment and headed down the stairs, only to be greeted by a hairy, homeless guy.

“It's the end ‘o’ the world!” he cried. “You gotta get ready for a life changin’ event!”

“If you say so Phil” Kai sighed. The guy was okay and Kai would give him a few bucks for food often. But he had prophesised the end of the world for the last year and a half now. He gave Phil ten bucks and headed down the street. It was always the same, cars and trucks rumbling down the asphalt whilst hundreds of people bustled about, heading to work or just going about their own lives. Nobody looked at on another; there was no friendliness or recognition. Just people that viewed each other as mere objects.

Kai eventually reached his place of employment, an EB Games store. He enjoyed video games so it followed suit that he enjoyed working here, but he didn’t enjoy his workmates. The boss was a total ass who was already yelling at him for no damned reason. But he wouldn’t fire him, Kai was too good at his job and he knew it. The other guy was a complete idiot, he had no product knowledge or sales skills and mostly just stood around, letting Kai do all the work. But he was a friend of the boss and the two of them would often just stand around chatting and playing the demo consoles.

“I heard you dumped that chick I set you up with last night” the idiot said as Kai walked in.

“Because she was an idiot” Kai retorted as he signed into the computer. “I don’t want to deal with a girl whose biggest decision in life is who’s hotter, Zac Effron or Justin Beiber”.

“But she was hot” the idiot replied. “You just need to chillax man”.

Kai just sighed and opened the store. “Whatever” he muttered as the first customers walked in.

The day just marched on and Kai was soon making the walk back home. The same sights, the same smells.

“Nothing ever changes” he muttered. “And nothing ever will”.

He opened the door to his apartment and disappeared inside. He would have dinner, play some games, and browse the web before going to sleep. 

Just another typical day


***


Today was not a typical day.
Twilight Sparkle, Alicorn Princess of Magic and a Bearer of an Element of Harmony. Her gold slippers clicked along the marble floor of the palace whilst her faithful dragon assistant, Spike, tailed quickly behind her.

“Is it that important that you have to do it today!?” he said. “Ponies aren’t going anywhere fast”.

“That’s the problem” Twilight said. “Teleportation is exclusive to only a hoof full of Unicorns and the Pegasi have their wings… but what about earth ponies? They have to walk, or take a train, or a carriage… but what if? Just what if they could teleport? What if everypony could teleport?”

“Seriously?” Spike sighed. “And how are you gonna do that? Make everypony grow a horn?”

“No, the ethics committee wouldn't let me” Twilight said. “But maybe I could create a hoof held device or something. Maybe…?”

Spike chose to tune out at this point. When Twilight started to go all ‘Sciencey’ he would just imagine what Rarity was doing.

“Spike? Spi~ike!” Twilight called him out from Rarity-land. “What do you think?”

“Huh? Oh uuh, sure. Sounds good?” he half agreed and asked. What was it he agreed to exactly?

“I think so too. A hoof held device is probably a little too ambitious at the moment. But maybe a larger one…?”

She continued to mutter to herself as they climbed the ramp to Twilight Observatory. It had been her old room when she was still Celestia’s student, but she insisted that she stay here even after becoming a Princess. 
After striding inside, Twilight wasted no time in levitating several books down and began to scan through them simultaneously. “Hmm, no. Not this one… or this one either…”

Spike shrugged and yawned. It had been a long day and he was beat. Twilight would be up for hours researching this so Spike left a snack out for her and headed to bed. “Just another typical day” he yawned and fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.


Twilight soon found what she was looking for and went straight to work. What she had planned could revolutionise the way ponies would get from one place to another. A series of networked transport gates to could transfer large amounts of matter from one city to another. Imagine have breakfast in Trottingham, lunch in Canterlot and tea in the Crystal Empire!
She re-read the book and then began to make adjustments for a larger scale version. It was quite similar to her own teleportation spell really. A crystal base would serve as the main storage device for the magic while a series of lenses in a large ring would act to focus the spell and cast it. 

Her horn lit up and a magic circle appeared on the ground. She placed four crystals at each point and then put a few things onto the circle itself. A book and an apple. 

“Beginning test one”. She scribbled down onto a scroll. “The transference of biological and artificial matter to a chosen location”. She decided that the throne room would be best. She knew it well and could easily send something there with her own magic.

The magic circle began to chime softly and the objects disappeared. Her horn flared once more and she teleported to the empty throne room to see the book and apple sitting on the floor. She picked them up and inspected them carefully. The book was intact as were its contents. The apple was unmarked and she bit into it, noticing that it was still crisp and fresh… not to mention delicious!

“Test One. Success!” Twilight smiled and wrote it down. “Now on to Phase Two…” she whisked herself back to the observatory and began preparations. After an hour, she was ready.

“Phase Two. Transport of a live Pony” she scribbled that last part and then stepped inside the circle. She wouldn’t go far, just to the courtyard outside. But the difference is that the circles magic would guide her, not her own.

“No problem” she said. “It’s just a short distance…” The magic circle lit up and she could feel the ever so slight touch of vertigo that teleportation caused. “So far so good, now I should be in the courtyard in three… two… one?” 

But then something else happened. That sense suddenly became overpowering as she felt like the world itself suddenly flipped. She fought back the wave of nausea and tried to step off of the circle, but her hooves were no longer touching the ground. In fact, she wasn’t even in her observatory anymore. She seemed to be everywhere and yet nowhere, in a place that defied all description… and then she vanished into a world of darkness…


***


Kai awoke in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and headed for the fridge to get some water. “At least I have tomorrow off” he muttered as he noticed the time. He had been having trouble sleeping tonight and now it was two in the morning.

“Maybe I should see a doctor?” He walked back out into the living room and flopped down onto the couch. As he fumbled for the T.V. remote, the dim glow caught his attention. He looked up to see what it was and was suddenly blinded by a powerful, bright light.

“What the fu…?” He shielded his eyes and after a moment, the light faded and he was left blinking as he saw spots.

“The hell was that?” he got up and stumbled towards the door to find the light switch, and tripped over something in the middle of the floor. He hit the ground with a thump and groaned as pain shot through his head. He slowly got up and hit the switch. As the light flickered on, he blinked again and put a hand to his aching head. 

“What the hell is happen…” he never finished that sentence as his eyes fell on what he had tripped over.

It was a unicorn.

A purple unicorn.

With FREAKIN wings!?”

Kai just stared at it. There was no way this could be real. No way at all. Why was a winged purple unicorn lying in the middle of his floor? His first thought was that it was all a dream, but the painful throb in his head decided to remind him otherwise.

“Okay…” he slowly crept over to it and picking up a nearby ruler, poked it.

The unicorn did nothing.

So he poked it again.

This time, the ruler glowed with a pink light and flew out of his grasp and across the room. He looked down to see the unicorn looking at him and its horn glowing with the same light. It didn’t look pleased about being poked, but it also seemed, confused?

There was a moment of silence as the two just stared at one another.

Then they asked the question of the front of both their minds.



“What ARE you!?”


> Problems and Solutions.
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Chapter 2: Problems and Solutions


This couldn’t be real; there was no possible way that Kai was staring at a purple horse in his living room. “What is this thing? Is it real?” he thought. “And its eyes are freakin huge!”

Twilight was a little dazed. She had intended to teleport to the courtyard just outside her door. The initial test had gone well so what the hay went wrong? She found herself in a dark room with a very strange bipedal creature staring at her. “What is it?” she wondered. “And why does it possess such small eyes?”

The staring match continued for a few more minutes until it was Twilight who found her voice first. “Um… if I may ask, what are you exactly? And where am I?” She kept her voice low in case it decided to attack her.

But it was silent; it just sat on the floor with its legs crossed underneath it. It made Twilight hurt just thinking about it. Oh wait! Maybe it didn’t understand her?

Kai sat cross-legged on the floor. The weird purple horse had just spoke, which gave him a fresh dose of brain hurt. But it hadn’t attacked him yet, and the subtle pain in his leg from when he tripped was a decent indicator that this wasn’t a dream. 

So there was only one logical step to take…

“What… are you?” he asked slowly as so not to frighten it.

There was another awkward silence as the two different beings processed their thoughts and came to the same conclusion.

“This is so weird!” they said in unison, and then for some reason, the both of them broke out into giggles.

“In answer to your questions,” Kai began to answer once the giggle fit had subsided. “My name is Kai, and you are in my apartment.”

Twilight nodded slowly. Given the sound of its voice, Twilight gathered that this ‘Kai’ was male. “Um, my name is Twilight Sparkle,” she replied. “May I ask again, what are you?”

Well it was an odd question, Kai knew what he was. “Well, I’m a human,” he replied. “And what on earth are you?”

“A pony.” Twilight simply replied. She had heard of humans before, the fictional creatures from storybooks. But surely they couldn’t be real!?

… 

Were Lyra’s weird conspiracy theories actually true?

…

Kai decided to ask another question. “Are you by chance… a Unicorn?” he said. 

Wait? He knew of Unicorns? Then maybe there were other ponies around somewhere. “Yes, well sort of,” Twilight confirmed. “I am Princess Twilight Sparkle, the Alicorn Princess of Magic.” Sweet Celestia it was a long winded title, but maybe now she would get somewhere.

“Princess? Alicorn? Magic!?” The human Kai slapped his face with the appendage on his arm. Did he just do the equivalent of a facehoof? “You have got to be kidding me! I wake up to get a drink of water, and now a fairy tale creature is sitting in my living room, saying it’s a princess of magic?”

He suddenly stood up. The fluid motion of such an act made Twilight nauseous, just by how he moved like that with no tail or other appendages to support him. He just seemed to defy gravity and physics. He took a single step towards her and without warning, reached out and touched her!

Twilight suddenly backed up and looked at him wide-eyed in shock, her face holding the slightest touch of pink.

“J-j-just what do you think you’re doing!?” she said, surprised that the ‘human’ would just touch her like that.

“I’m just making sure this isn’t all a weird-ass dream,” he said. He walked towards another room and switched on the light, causing Twilight to blink painfully. “I need some coffee,” he muttered. “Do you want anything to drink?” he asked.

Twilight was taken aback a bit by the question, but she was a little thirsty now that he mentioned. “Um, some water perhaps?” she replied.

Kai returned a moment later with a mug of coffee in one hand and a glass of water in the other. He set the water down next to her and then sat on the sofa nearby. Twilight nodded thankfully but when she attempted to levitate the glass, she found it to be rather difficult. Twilight managed a few sips before setting the glass back down. 

“I guess I burned out my magic with that teleportation,” she determined. 

Kai watched her horn light up with a gentle pink light and lift the glass without even touching it. Was that really magic that she used? He took a sip from his coffee and glanced at the wall clock.

4:20 a.m.

Good thing he didn’t have work today. 

Twilight closed her eyes for a moment as the use of what little magic she possessed had given her a slight headache. It was then she noticed that she didn’t have her Element on her. She glanced around but didn’t see it lying somewhere. Did it get left behind?

Kai’s voice broke the silence once more. “So uh… what are you doing here exactly?” It was a valid question, but unfortunately…

“I don’t know,” Twilight replied quietly. “It was just supposed to be a simple teleportation spell; I’ve done it hundreds of times so I just don’t know what went wrong.”

She went over every detail in her head, the placement of the crystals had been perfect, and the spell incantation was flawless. The previous transport had worked and she remembered to factor in the difference in her calculations such as the subjects mass and density, etc… so why?

Twilight appeared to be deep in thought. Whatever had brought her here must have been an accident. What was he supposed to do now? 

“Too bad there isn’t a Teleporting Unicorns for Dummies book,” he muttered sarcastically.

Twilight’s ears perked up when he mentioned a book. “There’s a book on teleportation here?” she asked excitedly. “May I see it?”

Kai shook his head, “No, I said I wish there were, but teleportation is impossible,” he informed her. “It only happens in things like fictional books and movies.”

“Magic is quite real.” Twilight huffed and lit up her horn once more. It flickered, like a light bulb about to go out, but still managed to levitate a pillow next to Kai. “See!” she said proudly, “Magic is quite simple, though it mine should be a little stronger, even if I did burnout.”

Kai looked at the pillow that she had levitated for all of about 2 seconds. “Be that as it may” he said. “Magic doesn’t exist here, just smoke and mirror illusions.”

This was news that Twilight didn’t want to hear. Her magic would return with rest, but if magic truly didn’t exist here… then returning home might be rather difficult. “I… I think I need to sleep,” she said, sounding defeated.

Kai nodded, he would think better with sleep and a clear head. This evening was weird above all else, but he still had a strict set of manners. “Do you want the bed?” he asked the odd houseguest. “I imagine you’ll need it more than I do.”

Twilight shook her head; she was the guest after all, circumstances aside. She couldn’t just show up out of the blue and take his bed. “Oh, no. I simply couldn’t…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Kai replied. “I often doze off on the couch anyhow so I don’t mind at all.” He got up and headed into his room to clean the bed of any dirty clothes and did a general tidy of his room. It had to house a Princess after all!

It took about fifteen minutes and once he emerged to tell Twilight that it was ready, she was sound asleep on the floor, snoring adorably.

“Well I guess that’s that then.” He knelt down and once he figured out a way, he lifted her off the floor with a slight grunt. She weighed more than she looked! He carried her into his room and placed her gently on the bed. She groaned slightly but drifted back into a deep sleep almost straight away. 

“She really does look like a cartoon character or something.” Kai wondered just what the hell he would do now. People would probably freak if she was discovered and she be hauled off to be experimented on like some lab animal. “I guess we’ll discuss it tomorrow though.”

Kai yawned and headed back out to the living room couch, grabbing a spare blanket on the way out. 

Tomorrow would be interesting to say the least…

***

It was well into the day by the time Twilight awoke. She opened her eyes slowly and lifted her head to look around. The room she was in was darkened due to the thick, heavy curtains and she lit up her horn to slide one open, blinking painfully from both the sudden intrusion of sunlight and the sharp pain in her horn. Glancing around some more, she noticed an analogue clock next to the bed and noticed that the numbers were different to Equestrian numbers.

“The design looks the same though,” she said quietly. “If numbers are similar, then I/m guessing it’s about a quarter to ten…” She sat bolt upright and jumped out of the bed. She stumbled and landed roughly on the ground with a loud thump, not expecting the bed to be so high off of the ground.

The door opened and Kai walked in to see the alicorn lying on the floor, tangled among the bed sheets.

“Are you okay?” he asked, stifling a small laugh at the indignantly positioned pony.

“Ow.” Twilight picked herself up and shook off the sheets. “Yeah, I was a little higher up than I thought.”

She got to her hooves and used her wings to dust herself off. She opened her mouth to say something but was interrupted by a loud rumbling sound, A sound coming from her empty stomach.

She blushed, looking a little embarrassed. “Guess I’m a little hungry,” she said.

Kai nodded and motioned towards the living room. “I made some breakfast, but I’m not sure what you’d eat…”

Twilight followed him out into the kitchen and saw several plates on the table with various types of food, pancakes, fruit and vegetables and scrambled eggs. Kai sat down and picked up an English muffin with egg and an odd brownish red substance.

“What’s that?” Twilight pointed with her hoof, her curiosity getting the better of her.

Kai took a bite and chewed before answering. “Just a bacon and egg muffin,” he replied before taking another bite.

“Bacon?” It took a moment for Twilight to realise what it actually was and took an uneasy step back. “You… you’re a… a carnivore!?” Twilight suddenly didn’t feel so safe anymore. What if he wanted to eat her for dinner? She couldn’t use her magic still and he could probably overpower her, tie her up and do whatever he wanted with her…

Wait! Where the heck was this train of thought going!?

Kai watched the alicorn with a bemused look as she trotted about in a small circle, muttering and wearing a panicked expression on her face. It was pretty cute.

“Hey!” he decided to call out, derailing whatever it was she was thinking off. “Are you done? Because there’s I’d like to explain something to you.”

Twilight turned on the spot and looked at the human sitting at the small table. Her face blank and her eyes wide.

“For starters,” Kai began. “Yes, I consume meat, most humans do in fact. Meat provides several important minerals that the human body requires to survive and function.” He picked up a piece of tomato from the salad on the table and popped it into his mouth. “But we also consume fruit, vegetable and grains…”

Twilight suddenly smiled as she realised what he was getting at. “So humans are omnivores then?”

Kai nodded and took another bite from his muffin. “There are humans that refuse to eat meat or are even allergic to it, so they get by with vitamin tablets and whatnot… I guess the point I am trying to make though is that if you are concerned, I will not eat you. Okay?”

Twilight just gave him a sheepish smile and walked back over to the table, taking a mouthful of salad and chewing. It was actually quite nice~

***

After breakfast and now she was feeling a little more awake, Twilight took a better look around the abode she now found herself in. It was rather small in comparison to her library or her friends’ houses, but it still had that homey feel. The living room was the largest and focused as the centre point of the home. It had a heavy looking door with at least half a dozen locks on the inside of it. Kai explained that it was the front door and the locks were added security. Against the left side wall, next to the front door was a desk with an odd-looking device. It was a large rectangular, yet thin box with what appeared to be a pane of glass on the front. After giving it a quizzical stare, Kai explained that it was called a computer. An electronic device that could be used to perform all kinds of tasks. 

Twilight vowed she would take a better look at that later.

The wall next to it had a window in the centre and a couch just underneath it. The couch had some blankets haphazardly tossed onto one end of it and Twilight felt guilty once more about taking his bed. Next to the couch was the door that led to his bedroom and a second that Kai said led to the bathroom. The next wall was just lined with shelves that contained books, some small statues of human girls in cute outfits and thin, plastic cases that Twilight didn’t recognise. 

“Those are video games.” Kai explained. “I’ll show you those later.”

The next wall was the kitchen and then she was back to the start again. Like she said, not a real big place.

“Do all humans live like this?” she asked. 

Kai shook his head. “No, some humans have much larger houses, mansions… even castles and palaces. Other humans don’t live in a house at all…”

Twilight wandered over to the window and gazed out of it. What she saw made her gasp in surprise. It was an enormous city, spread out as far as the eye could see.

“Oh wow…” she said in awe of the grand sight. “It’s even bigger that Canterlot!”

“Canterlot?” Kai questioned. “Is that where you’re from?”

“Sort of,” Twilight replied, her eyes still staring out the window of the seventh floor apartment. “I have a research laboratory and observatory in Canterlot, but my home is the library in Ponyville.”

“Canterlot, Ponyville?” Kai face palmed at the bad puns. Their city planner has a really bad sense of humour. But bad jokes aside, there was something else he had to ask her. “Uh, Twilight was it?”

Twilight turned to face him and nodded. What was the cause at his sudden change of tone?

“I need to ask you, what will you do until you can return home?” Kai asked the purple alicorn.

“Well by my estimates, I think it should take about a week for my magic to return to full strength, in the meantime, I’m going to try to figure out where my spell went wrong and how to reverse its affects.” She glanced back towards the window, 
“Maybe I’ll explore this world a little too, see what it’s like.”

“That’s the problem!” Kai said. “I hate to tell you this, but flying purple unicorns simply do not exist here. They never have.” He sat on the couch and looked her in the eye. “If you go outside and get seen, you would most likely be captured and experimented on…” Kai had a sullen look on his face, he wasn’t proud of some of humanity’s ‘acomplishments’ but humans weren’t all bad.

“Look, I don’t want to see you get hurt, and I sure as hell don’t want humans getting their hands on your magic… so if you want, you can hide out here until your better. I have enough room and you’ll be kept fed and safe… if you want to.”
Were humans as dangerous as Kai led her to believe? She really wanted to go out and see what this world was like. But the idea of being an experiment wasn’t all too appealing either. Kai seemed nice enough though and the offer was quite generous…

“If you want to learn…” Kai continued. “I can try to figure out a way to sneak you into the public library near here.”
Twilight’s ears instantly pricked up at the mere mention of the word library. “You have a library near here!?” she asked excitedly.

“Yeah, I do some part time work there on weekend evenings,” Kai explained and then let out a small chuckle. “Besides, this way I get to read all I want without having to actually buy the book.”

This news infinitely improved Twilight’s mood. With a library, she could research all she wanted without the necessary field work. “So what are we waiting for? Let’s go!” Twilight said excitedly, bouncing off of the couch and landing near Kai.

“All in good time,” Kai chuckled. “I don’t work until the evening and sneaking you there is something I still have to work out. He gave Twilight a look over and wondered just how he would do that. “I wonder if that’ll work…?” he thought out loud.

“Tell you what, I have an idea.” Twilight looked confused as to what he was talking about.

“I think a costume disguise might be best, but I need to go and get a few things. Will you be okay here by yourself for a about an hour?”

Twilight nodded in response. “Yes, though I really wish I could go out and look around.” 

“I know and I’m sorry,” Kai replied. “I’ll find some way to make it up to you okay?”

Twilight sighed but nodded once more in agreement. “Alright then, “I’ll take your word for it… but yu owe me mister!” she flashed a devious smile. 

Kai nodded and grabbed his keys and wallet. “Don’t open the door for anyone other than me okay?” he told her. “Though I hardly ever get visitors, you can never be too sure…”

He unlocked the many slides and deadbolts on his door and opened it. “I should only be about an hour okay?” And with that he disappeared through the door and headed out towards Market City. He should be able to get what he needed from the markets in the basement levels.


“I’m still waiting to wake up from this dream…” he muttered as he walked the streets of Sydney. A slight smile crept its way onto his face however.  “But I guess it’s a pretty good dream though.”

***

Princess Celestia walked into her throne room, her horn illuminating the darkness. She looked around the room and then walked up to her throne and searched it too. 

"Well that's odd," she murmured as she sighed and headed back to her bedchambers. "I could have sworn that I left my book and my snack in there..."

> Drama, Disguises and Discoveries!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Chapter Three – Drama, Disguises and Discoveries.


It had been about half an hour since Kai had left and Twilight had already looked around every inch of his tiny apartment. She had made a few discoveries on her venture, like a collection of magazines under Kai’s bed that appeared to be female human anatomy guides. Once she had made her way back to the living room, she glanced at his bookshelf and could no longer resist. What kind of knowledge was contained within their pages? She would e the first pony ever to read about an entirely alien race. She giggled giddily at the thought of it and reached out with her magic to pluck one from the shelf, but a dull throbbing in her forehead reminded her that her magic was off limits for the time being.

She reached out with her hoof and made another startling discovery, her hooves simply could not grasp the books. She could pick up almost any object with them, like cutlery or scrolls, but here, her hooves simply slid along the books spines, refusing to take hold.

“Is it because Magic doesn’t exist here?” she wondered aloud and finally decided on using her mouth, being very careful not to get teeth marks or saliva on the precious paper.

It had proved to a tad difficult due to the book being tightly packed into the small space but eventually the stubborn shelf relinquished its prize and Twilight smiled widely as she settled down on the floor to read it. She looked at the cover and her brow furrowed, she opened the cover with her nose and flicked through a few of the pages to make sure. It couldn’t be! There was no way! 

Her eyes scanned the pages and she triple checked, but the result was always the same. Foreign symbols she assumed were letters stared back at her. She got up and took an uneasy step back as she continued to stare at the book in disbelief.

“I-I can’t read it!” she stammered as her worst fears came to light. She placed a hoof to her forehead as she swooned. “This is the. Worst. Possible. THING!” and then she dramatically fainted on the couch.

Twilight lay there for a moment and then giggled. “That was kinda fun, no wonder Rarity likes doing it.”


***


Kai had spent the better part of an hour wandering the bustling Market City, but found nothing that could be considered useful as a disguise for Twilight. He paused for a moment as he realised what exactly he was doing. He was searching for a disguise so he could sneak a unicorn into the public library. This was by far the weirdest thing he had thought of and he frequented the internet! Nothing was weirder than the internet.

“I wished for something interesting to happen and I get a talking unicorn… someone upstairs has a weird sense of humour.” As he passed dozens of stalls selling their cheap, knockoff merchandise, something caught his eye. First was a massive Virizion plush for only thirty bucks, he wasted no time in grabbing that. Second was a small, faux fur coat. He sized it up and it was perfect! 

“How much for this?” he asked the stall owner.

“For your girlfriend?” the old woman asked. 

Kai blinked for a second, it would seem weird for a guy to buy a woman’s fur coat. “Uh, yeah…” he said, rubbing the back of his head.

“Aw, so cute.” The old woman smiled. “Tell you what, just for you… One hundred and twenty dollar.”

“A hundred and twenty bucks!?” that was rather expensive, especially for a fake that probably only cost two bucks to make. “How about sixty?”

“Ah, much to low. One hundred ten.” The Asian lady replied. She was driving a hard bargin.

“Eighty,” Kai countered. 

“No deal, one hundred dollar, final offer!”

This was ridiculous, he wasn’t gonna pay a hundred bucks for that, but he didn’t feel like going back empty handed either. The coat was a fake, no doubt about that. But it was a fairly well-made fake…

“Fine,” he said. “One hundred and no more than that!”

The lady seemed satisfied and Kai eventually left the markets, now having a new Pokémon plush, a coat and a shopping bag of assorted things. “A little more than I expected, so that unicorn better appreciate this!” he muttered as he turned up the music on his mp3 player and headed back home.


***


Twilight sat on the floor and prodded the book with her hoof. This was no good at all, what use would there be in going to a library if she couldn’t read any of the books? She heard a sound coming from the door and Kai walked in, carrying what appeared to be a coat, a plush toy of some green creature and a bag. Kai looked at the alicorn and saw her eyes water slightly.

“What’s wrong?” he asked as he put what he was carrying down. “Did you hurt yourself?”

Twilight shook her head and looked back at the book. She pointed at it and sighed before showing the offending literature to the human. “I can’t read it!” she explained. “Not a single word.”

Kai took the book and looked it. It was a light novel he had bought a few weeks back. “Well that’s odd!” he said. “We speak the same language, but written language is different?”

“I noticed that your clock is different too, I don’t recognise the numbers on them.” Twilight sighed and looked at the floor. “I can’t believe this, if only I could perform a translation spell then it wouldn’t be a problem.”

“So I take it that your magic still hasn’t returned?” Kai asked. Truth be told, he really wanted to see some cool magic.

“Kind of,” Twilight replied. “But I would have to perform it on every book, twice no less. As I would have to cast it once to translate it into Equestrian and then again to switch it back.”

“Okay, I can see that being a problem.” Kai said. “So what did you want to do then? If you can’t read the books then… wait, maybe I have an idea.”

“What is it?”

“Well you can’t read the books, but I can. I could read them to you.” Kai offered. “It’s kind of a roundabout way of doing it, but at least you’ll get the information you want.”

“I suppose…” Twilight didn’t want to have to get him to do that. “First she interrupted his everyday life because she miscast a spell, and then burdens him further by living with him temporarily, and now he would read everything to her? Magic caused this problem in the first place and now a lack of magic kept adding to it. But he had a point and he did have the knowledge to read what was written…

Wait a moment, that could be a viable solution.

“There is a way for me to learn your language.” She said, “but you may not like it.”

Kai just got curious however. “How? If it helps you out…”

Twilight shook her head. “I can access your memories and copy your knowledge of your language… but it’s a huge invasion of privacy and I will be able to see all of your memories…”

“I see…” Now that was a problem. He didn’t exactly want this odd creature rummaging around in his brain…

“I’ll try my best to only access the knowledge I need, but it’s asking way too much of you.” Twilight should have never suggested it. Kai had been nothing but nice and extremely generous to her so far and she had a sinking feeling that he would…

“Well as long as you try your best to stay out of my personal memories, I guess you can try your unicorn mind-meld thing.”

Twilight shook her head. “No, I should have never suggested it. Just forget about it!”

“Hey, I said I would and who knows, you might even learn more from that then you would books.”

Great, just make the idea even more enticing why don’t you? “But I-. “

“Look, I haven’t got anything to really hide and my embarrassing memories are far and few,” Kai said. “You said so yourself that this was the easier route right?”

“Alright,” Twilight conceded. “This shouldn’t take long.”

The alicorn walked over to the couch where Kai was sitting and climbed up to sit next to him. “This won’t hurt a bit, but we’ll both have a bit of a headache afterwards.” She gently placed the tip of her horn against his forehead and closed her eyes. 

“Are you ready?” she asked, giving him one last opportunity to back out.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Kai replied.

Twilight began to cast the spell and her head began to ache in response. Her magic reserves were nowhere near full yet, but there was enough to do this. Her head had a steady beat, which seemed to match her heartbeat, but then she felt something and as soon as she opened her eyes, everything went black.


***


When she awoke, she took a single look around and gasped in surprise. All around her were bookshelves, one that seemed to stretch on forever…

“Where am I?” she whispered as she looked around. The shelves reached high into the sky, a sky she could not see. “These shelves are taller than the castle… how is this possible? Am I in another world again?”

“Not quite,” a familiar voice said from behind her. Twilight quickly turned to see Kai standing there. 

“Kai? What’s going on? Where are we?” Twilight was seriously confused.

Kai chuckled and spread his arms. “You're such a smart pony, surely if you just think for a moment, you’ll figure out exactly where you are.” And then in the blink of an eye, he vanished into thin air.

“W-wait! What?” Twilight spread her wings and attempted to fly, but for some reason, she couldn’t. It was like the appendages were there for decoration. “Okay, okay, just calm down Twi. He said that if I think about it, I’d know where I am…”

“In a place you shouldn’t be!” a stern voice called out as she saw Kai striding towards her. “Get out now!!”

Wait, why was he so mad at her? Did she do something wrong? Did she mess up the spell? Just before Kai reached her, an arm shot out of the darkness and grabbed him as another Kai emerged.

“Hey, calm down. She didn’t know this would happen~,” the second Kai said with a wide smile. “And seriously, how can you get mad at something so cute~?”

Before Twilight could say anything about the absurdity of all this, a third Kai appeared from behind one of the bookshelves. 

“Hey guys, c’mon.” he said with a lazy drawl. “Can’t a dude get a little shut eye around here?” 

“Three Kai’s? What’s going on around here?” She looked back to the bookshelves and noticed something. Rather than titles on the books spines, it simply had a date and a time. “What is all this?”

“A bit slow to catch on there love?” a fourth Kai said with a thick British accent. He wore a monocle and sported a fine top hat. “Though since you’re here, fancy a spot of tea?”

“Tch! No-one wants your damned tea! Just get the little horse her knowledge and get her out!” Angry Kai spat and stormed off.

“Don’t mind him.” Kind Kai said with a warm smile. “He’s a little grumpy without his coffee~”

Twilight put her hooves to her head and groaned. This didn’t make any sense at all, well to Discord it might… but the alicorn was utterly baffled.

A fifth Kai leant against one of the shelves and said nothing, while British Kai tried to get him to drink from a dainty little teacup. A sixth one approached and he had a lab coat and a thick pair of glasses. There was a circular symbol on the breast of the coat and the word ‘Aperture Laboratories’ next to it.

“We must hurry things along before any damage is done.’ He said, pushing his glasses up. “Miss Twilight, you performed a mind link spell in order to gain some specific knowledge correct?”

“Yes, but how did you-?”

“For some reason, perfect synchronicity was achieved and the minds of both you and Kai were joined. You currently reside within Kai’s Mindspace, just as he currently resides in yours.”

“Mindspace? You mean this is-“

“Correct!” Smart Kai responded, cutting her off again. “You are currently within Kai’s mind and we are all aspects of his persona, different traits of his personality if you will.” He placed a hand on his chest, looking quite proud. “I represent his latent Intelligence, that one over there is his Kindness.” He pointed to the ever-smiling Kai. “That one is Anti-socialism and that one is for when he feels like being British.” He motioned towards the silent Kai and the top hat wearing one. “And the one you met earlier is his Anger…”

Twilight nodded as she looked around at the different Kai’s. “Okay, I think I get it now… but I still don’t get how this happened.”

“A mystery for us all, I assure you,” Smart Kai responded. “Perhaps you will discover it eventually, but for now we have work to do.” He pointed off to the maze of bookshelves. “The knowledge you seek is located under ‘General Knowledge, Section L’” he explained. “I have important studies to do, so one of the other Persona will show you the way.” And with that he vanished, leaving her alone with Kindness, British and Anti. Lazy was fast asleep in the corner.

Anti stood upright and began to walk down the hall, stopping briefly to look back at Twilight.

“Well this is a surprise~” Kindness said. “Anti never helps anybody, you must be special… or simply that even he can’t resist your cuteness~”

Twilight blushed and followed after him. They left the others behind as they walked in silence for a while, until Twilight decided to speak.

“So um…” she desperately thought of a topic to speak about. “What are all these books?”

Anti remained silent as always and Twilight hung her head in defeat. Then he said in a barely audible tone. “Memories.”

Twilight jumped at the sudden break in silence. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Memories,” he said again in a tone that would make Fluttershy’s seem like the Royal Canterlot Voice. “Every second of every day. Ever since I was born.”

Twilight took a breath as she looked at the shelves. They stretched on and on and seemed to be thousands of stories tall. “I wonder if this is what my Mindscape looks like.”

“Who knows,” Anti said and then suddenly stopped. “Here.” Twilight gazed up at the bookshelf, which looked like all the others. “This one here?”

Anti nodded, but said nothing more. Twilight walked up to the shelf and then realised she had no idea what she was looking for. She couldn’t read the spines of the books and without the aid of her wings; she couldn’t reach the higher shelves.

“Now what do I do?” she wonder aloud. There was a sound and suddenly a large book fell from high up above, hitting the floor with a heavy THUD! Twilight jumped in surprise as the book was almost as big as she was.

Anti motioned towards the book and then walked off, leaving Twilight all alone. She walked over to it and opened the heavy cover with a hoof. At first, nothing happened. But then the pages began to flip by themselves, as an unseen, unfelt wind blew them. The book began to glow brightly as Twilight closed her eyes to shield herself from the blinding light. Once it died down, she looked back towards it and gasped. She could read it!

She looked at the other books and could clearly understand the numbers and letters on the spines. Nodding to herself, she began to walk back the way she came and then her hoof struck something on the floor. A dusty tome was just lying there.

“What is this? She wondered inquisitively and knelt down to pick it up, only to have dust enter her nose and she sneezed, the book flew open and her mind clouded.

The rain just seemed to keep on pouring as a younger Kai stood in front of a large gravestone as a pair of coffins was lowered into the ground. Faceless people all watched and whispered as he stood there silent.

“Poor guy, losing both parents like that.”

“Poor my foot, he inherited a small fortune.”

“Some people have all the luck huh?”

“He didn’t shed a tear during the service, did you notice?”

“Even now, he looks like he doesn’t have a care in the world.”

But more than the memory, Twilight felt the emotion behind it, anger, sadness and incredible loneliness. He felt angry at the parents that left him behind, anger towards the insensitive souls that whispered behind his back and the wish that it was all a horrible nightmare.

“This is… oh,” Twilight knew she had just witnessed something private and truly heartbreaking. She shouldn’t be here, and with a flash of light, she found herself back in the Mindscape.

“Get a good look did you?” a voice said and Twilight saw Angry Kai looming over her. “You gonna laugh at me too, think I thought that my parents death was nothing!”

“No, I-“

“Save it!” he yelled, causing Twilight to flinch. “Time I put an end to this stupid little story!” he raised his fist, only to be hit by another Kai, this one wearing a dashing red scarf and cool, triangular sunglasses.

“You okay Twi?” he asked, checking the distraught alicorn. “Just leave this punk to me!”

“But, I didn’t mean to-“

Brave Kai suddenly knelt down and hugged her, causing the alicorn to blush and stammer. “I know, don’t worry about it okay, everything will be alright.” He turned his attention back to Rage Kai and took a fighting stance.

“Who the hell do you think I am!?” Rage Kai yelled and launched himself at Brave Kai. The two collided and exchanged blows at a lightning fast pace, each blow sounding like a thunder crack. Brave Kai leapt back and clenched a fist. “Get out of here while I hold him off!” he said to Twilight as she nodded and began to run for her life. She could still hear voices as she ran.

“Falcon… PAWWNNNCCHHHH!!” there was a deafening explosion as the shockwave for the distant attack sent Twilight hurtling down the corridor. 

She landed to see Kind and British Kai looking over her. “Are you okay love?” British asked as Kindness helped her to her hooves. She looked back down the hall where she could hear the high octane fight still raging, now apparently a John Woo style gunfight.

“Don’t worry about them~” Kind said. “They’re always like that~”

Four more Kai’s appeared and linked hands with Kindness. “Let’s get you back now, okay?” he turned to the others. “Ready to go, Loyalty, Happiness, Honesty and Generosity?”

Wait! What did he say? Twilight looked up to see the five Kai’s give her a smile and in an instant she found herself back in his living room, laying on his couch, while Kai lay sprawled on the floor.

“Ohmigosh! Are you alright?” Twilight fell off of the couch and crawled over to the human, who groaned in response. “I can’t…”

“Huh?”

“No more,” he groaned again. “I can’t eat more cake!”

Cake? What the hay? Twilight suddenly giggled as she helped the human sit up. “Well that went completely and totally wrong.”

“That… was weird, even by my new standards.” Kai said, rubbing his head. “You are the craziest pony I know.”

“No Pinkie is much stranger,” Twilight retorted. And who was he to talk? His head wasn’t normal by any definition.

Kai thought for a moment, “Okay, yeah. Pinkie is much weirder, but you’re still a close second…” he suddenly clasped a hand over his mouth, realising what he had just said.

How did he know about Pinkie? The she remembered Smart Kai’s words.


“For some reason, perfect synchronicity was achieved and the minds of both you and Kai were joined. You currently reside within Kai’s Mindspace, just as he currently resides in yours.”



“So you saw my memories?” Twilight asked him.

“Only one,” he admitted. “It was about the day you met your friends and defeated some bad pony called Nightmare Moon…”

“Oh!” well at least he saw a good memory. “I um…” she might as well tell him, and hope he wouldn’t hate her. “I saw one of yours too.”

“Which one?” he asked dubiously. Hopefully it was one that didn’t involve him browsing the internet for porn.

“It was… um, your parents…” Kai raised a hand and stopped her. He knew what she was trying to say.

“The funeral huh?” Twilight nodded and winced as she feared what would come next. “Well that’s okay, I guess…”

“Really?” she asked in disbelief. “But I thought that you’d-“

“Flip out?” Okay, both Mindspace Kai and real Kai had a bad habit of interrupting her. “I am a bit upset, but what’s done is done and I’m not going to hate you for it.” She reached for her and she flinched again, only to find that he was gently petting her mane. “So don’t worry okay!”

He looked into her eyes and there was a moment of serene silence before he spoke up. “So did you learn what you needed to?”

Twilight smiled and reached out for the light novel she had picked out earlier. “Spice & Wolf, Volume One by Isuna Hasekura.” She read aloud. “Does that answer your question?”

Kai clapped his hands and placed the book back on the shelf. “Nice! So are you ready to head out soon?” he asked, looking out at the darkening streets.

Twilight nodded and stood up. “Anytime!”

Kai then grinned, one that made Twilight shiver for some reason. “Well then let’s get your disguise ready!”


***


This was completely humiliating!

Kai had put the fur coat on her and a large collar around her neck. The coats arms went on her front legs and the sash was used to tie it around her wait to hide the overhang. A thing pair of woolly leg warmers of a similar colour went on her bag legs. He attached a lead to the collar and unlocked his front door.

“Just what is all this!?” she demanded. “I look like a dog!”

“That’s the idea,” Kai replied. “And since its dark, people will just think you’re a large dog instead of a winged unicorn.”

“Alicorn!” Twilight corrected him. “And this is completely undignified! The coat I can understand, but why a collar!?”

“That’s because it’s illegal to walk a dog without a lead.” Kai informed the princess. “And consider it petty revenge for spying on my memories~”

“You are pure evil,” Twilight growled. “And if it wasn’t for the fact that I feel like I’ve imposed on you enough…”

Kai nodded and smiled. “Okay, don’t worry. Now let’s go for walkies little Sparkle~”

He yelped as she zapped him lightly on the rear and then the odd duo left the apartment and towards the library.


***


Well that was a humiliating trip, but Twilight had been too busy staring up at the enormous buildings and strange inventions, like cars, to be concerned about her looks. But did that one old man have to pet her for so long? Her mane was all messed up now.

“Well I guess we made it without incident.” Kai sighed as he unlocked the side door to the library and let the two of them in. Twilight immediately removed the lead and huffed, there was no way she was doing that again… until she remembered that they had to return home. Damn!

All of that was soon forgotten though as she looked around the vast library. It was almost as big as the Canterlot Archives and it was all new knowledge to her or any other pony for that matter. She had no idea where to start, should she get a book on geography? Perhaps history? Science and Technology? So many books, so little time.

Then Kai said just about the best possible thing to her. “Just take what you want and I’ll see to it that they’re checked out under my name, that way you can read them at home.”

Twilight squealed with delight and flew over to the startled human, hugging him. She just as quickly darted off into the depths of the library, searching for anything and everything!

Kai chuckled at her kid in a candy store personality and headed off to get a book of his own. Maybe the new Skullduggery novel?

It was well after midnight when the two of them returned to Kai’s apartment, having a little over three dozen books in tow.

“Y’know Twilight!” he said as they climbed the stairs. “I think you could have left at least some of the library there.”

“Well I couldn’t take all of them,” she said, missing the joke. “There must have been thousands of books there.” 

Kai sighed at the missed joke and opened his door. The two proceeded inside and Twilight wasted no time in opening a book and begin reading. Kai yawned loudly and lay down on the bed next to Twilight. “I’ll just rest my eyes for a moment and then….” The rest of his sentence trailed off as soft snores replaced it. Twilight smiled and pulled the blanket up to cover them. 

“Thank you Kai.” She whispered and draped a wing over him as she flicked on the bedside lamp to continue reading. 

> What is Friendship Worth?
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Chapter Four. What is Friendship Worth?



Kai lay there, his eyes shut, hoping to block out the sunlight streaming in through his bedroom window.

…

Wait a minute? Why was he in his room? He should have been on the couch.

…

And why was he so warm?

He opened his eyes and blinked a few times until a certain sight took that ability from him. He stared at a lavender alicorn sleeping soundly next to him, her wing draped over him like a blanket.
            
“Not the worst way to wake up I suppose.” Kai stretched until he heard a satisfying ‘crick’ in several places. He gently lifted her wing, taking note on how soft her feathers were. Twilight mumbled incoherently and sighed contently, tucking her wing into her side. Kai slid slowly out of bed and made his way to the kitchen.

~~~

Twilight Sparkle stirred and as she began to stretch, her wings snapped open, flinging her out of bed and onto the floor.
            
“Stupid, blasted…” She cursed a few more words that a Princess really shouldn’t say, until the sound of a sizzling frypan caught her attention.

Walking out into the living room she saw her friend hard at work in the kitchen. “Mmm, that smells great,” she said, taking a whiff of the scent wafting in.
            
“Morning,” he simply replied. He soon brought out a plate of pancakes with butter and maple syrup.
            
“No bacon today?” Twilight said with a teasing tone, poking her tongue out.

Kai shook his head and placed the plates onto the table. “No, I just don’t feel like it today.”

Twilight tilted her head and blinked. That was certainly unexpected. Lighting up her horn, she levitated a fork over and began to eat some of her pancakes. It took a full minute for her to realise that Kai wasn’t eating and was instead staring at her.

She looked up at him, then back to her food before looking back to him again. “That’s making me rather uncomfortable you know.”
            
“Sorry,” he looked away, but only for a moment. “I was just watching your magic, that’s all.”
            
“Magic?” Twilight paused before she realised that she was using her magic. Then she realised that the drained feeling that she had been feeling for the last few days were gone. Her magic had returned.  
            
“My magic’s back!” She cheered, hopping around the room with a wide smile on her face. Kai watched for a moment, finding the alicorn’s smile to be rather infectious.
            
“So what now?” he asked. “Are you able to go home?”

That comment caused Twilight to cease her bouncing. “No, I still have to figure out how I got here in the first place.” She looked at the human who had taken her in. “If you’re still okay with having me here that it is?”

Kai nodded as he cleaned up the table. “I said that I’d protect you and I will. I promise.”

Twilight flushed red and looked at her hooves. He was really sweet, but she still wasn’t sure what he was protecting her from. He had said that all humans weren’t as nice as him, but she hadn’t met any other humans…
            
“Kai? Is there any way for me to meet other humans? Or at least find out how this world works?”

Kai figured this would come up. This world wasn’t safe for something like her, but he had no real proof and Twilight seemed like the kind that required hard evidence. “I know… I know that simply taking my word for it is difficult, but this world is so much different from yours.”
            
“H-how do you know what Equestria is like?” There was no way he could know about Equestria. She had told him the name once when she explained where she was from. Then an idea dawned on her and Kai voiced it.
            
“I kinda learned a few things when we did that Vulcan mind-meld thingie.” When Twilight had used her magic to learn how to read human language, he had seen things that he had no idea how to explain. Especially that pink one…
            
“I see, well I guess it’s only fair. I saw some of your memories by accident.” Twilight was rather curious as to what he saw though. But what the hay was a Vulcan mind-meld? But she was getting distracted from the topic at hand. “So is there no other way for me to meet other humans?”

Kai didn’t know what to do. He didn’t really have any friends and he certainly didn’t know anyone that he could trust with this secret. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I really wish that I could fulfill that request, but as it stands, I don’t know any people that I could trust to know about you.”

This realisation left a sick feeling in his stomach. He felt like he was keeping her prisoner here. “Look, you can leave anytime you want.” Kai was getting annoyed with himself. “I’m only trying to help so…” He clenched his fist and sat down roughly on his couch. “Dammit all…”

Twilight didn’t mean to upset him. An idea dawned on her and her eyes sparkled. “Hey Kai, do you have any books on human anatomy?”

The human looked at the princess, wondering why she’d want something like that. “In the shelf over there, bottom row, there are a few medical reference books.”

Twilight nodded and levitated them over. After flicking through the first one, she eventually found what she was looking for, a detailed picture on human anatomy, namely, human female anatomy.
            
“I have to study these for a bit, but I think that I can make this work.” Twilight smiled to herself and headed off towards the bedroom. “Just you wait and see!”

Kai just blinked and stared at the now closed door. Just what on earth was that pony up to?

 
***

 
It took longer that Kai thought and after an hour, he decided to just play some games while he waited. Halfway through a Legendary mission on Halo 4, a bright flash of magenta light coming from behind his bedroom door caught his attention. He paused the game and turned his head as the door swung open, revealing sight that he certainly didn’t expect appeared.
            
“I did it!” Twilight cried triumphantly. “I managed to successfully transmogrify myself into a human!”

Kai had no words as he continued to stare.
            
“What is it?” Twilight asked. “Did I mess something up?”

It took a moment, but Kai finally found his voice. “Well… I’d have to say that there are at least three things wrong with this picture.”
            
“Three!? What happened?” Twilight panicked as she looked at her new form.
            
“Well first, and most noticeably… You’re completely naked.” Kai figured that was the most important one to point out. “Two, you still have your tail, wings and your horn.”

Twilight looked behind her and saw her usual three-toned tail protruding from where her tail bone should normally end.
            
“And the third,” Kai continued. “Is that you look like a twelve year old child!”
            
“Huh?” Twilight blinked and Kai showed her a mirror the bathroom. She did indeed look like a human child, roughly about eleven or twelve years of age. Kai draped a long towel over her and sighed.
            
“So this was your big plan?”

Twilight looked a bit panicked. “What in the hay happened? I thought that I got everything perfect.”
            
“Well the age thing, I have no idea.” Kai looked at the tail swishing about as the now (mostly) human Twilight fretted. “But humans sure as hell don’t have tails, or horns and wings for that matter.”
            
“Then why did the book call it a tail bone?” Twilight figured that Kai had his tail hidden or something. How else did these humans keep their balance standing upright, without a tail to counter balance? “And I have my horn because I can’t cast magic without it.”
            
“I don’t know, I never really read those books.” Kai thought the idea of it being called a tail bone was stupid. “But regardless, we don’t have one.”
            
“Well I can’t fix the spell.” Twilight protested. “My magic, though recovered, seems to take longer to recharge here.” The thought of being stuck in a defective form for the next few hours was not pleasant. She really should have asked Kai for help before hoof. Hindsight really sucked sometimes.

Kai sighed again and shrugged. “Well it can’t be helped, but we also need to sort out that clothing problem.”
            
“That too, why do humans need to wear clothes?” Twilight asked. Sure, ponies wore clothes sometimes, but for purely aesthetic reasons.
            
“Several reasons, for one it protects our bodies from the elements.” Kai motioned towards a window. “Our bodies don’t have fur or whatnot and second, it’s indecent, not to mention illegal, to walk around naked.”

Twilight didn’t get it, but she did feel colder in this form. “Then do you have anything that I could borrow?”

Kai shook his head. “Why the heck would I have clothes for a little girl?” He would have to go out and buy some for her. “You should wait here; you can’t go anywhere like that.” Luckily for him, clothing stores were pretty abundant.
            
“Well alright, but hurry back okay?” Kai took a moment to look her over, taking a guess what size she would be. “Great, I’m staring at the naked body of a kid who used to be a pony princess.” Kai groaned and grabbed his keys and wallet. “This day cannot get any weirder.”

 
***

 
Another problem arose though; if Twilight wanted to go out in public then Kai would need an outfit that covered her ‘extra bits’.
            
“The wings will be the most problematic,” Kai thought on how he could make this work and as he walked past a clothing store named ‘Shibuya’, a small smile crept its way onto his face.
            
“I think I have an idea…”
  
Twilight decided to amuse herself until Kai returned, and had spent the whole time practicing how to move in her new form. She was certainly glad that Kai wasn’t there to see her constantly fall over.

A little over an hour passed before the door opened and Kai walked in carrying several shopping bags under his arms.
            
“You’re back! And you bought a lot.” Kai nodded and he put at let eight bags onto the couch and sighed.
            
“Yeah… I think I may have gotten a tad carried away.”

Twilight picked up one of the bags and after Kai gave her a nod, she opened it and pulled out the first garment. It was a midnight blue dress, trimmed with white lace and ribbons, the sleeves were long and ended with a white lace ruffle.
            
“It’s so cute~” Twilight gave a girlish little squeal.  The other bags held similarly designed dresses and an assortment of accessories, including a large beret with several different-coloured ribbons to attach to it. The hat would easily hide her horn and the dresses were full-length, so her tail would be concealed underneath. There was also a coat that matched the colour of her fur and it was large enough the cover her wings.
            
“Well, if you think it will work…” Twilight dropped her towel and Kai covered is eyes.
            
“GAH! Would you go into the bedroom or bathroom to do that?!”

Twilight smiled sheepishly and disappeared into the bedroom to change. It took a while, but she eventually came back out wearing the dark blue-coloured one he had bought her. He handed her a coat that was a light purple colour with dark blue lace and a cream fur ruffle around the hem. 

Kai had bought it as it matched Twilight’s mane and coat perfectly, and by god did she look cute in it.
            
“I like this outfit a lot!” Twilight smiled
            
“I’m glad,” Kai smiled back. “It looks really good on you!”

One thing didn’t escape Twilights’ notice however, spending ample time with Rarity had taught her a thing or two about dressmaking and the alicorn could tell that this was a very well-made outfit.

And well-made usually meant expensive.
            
“This cost you a lot of money, didn’t it?” He had offered up his home, kept her fed and safe. And now he was buying her expensive clothes…
            
“It’s alright, they were on sale so don’t worry about it.” Kai meant that, he had a large inheritance and had never really spent much of it. That said, those clothes had cost him close to eight hundred bucks.
            
“But I will worry about it!” Twilight protested. “I will find a way to make this up to you!”

Kai just waved his hand and shook his head. “I said don’t worry about it. You’ve made my life pretty interesting ever since you showed up. Being my friend is good enough, don’t you think?”
            
“Your friend?” She hadn’t really thought about that, she had been so preoccupied with all the new knowledge that this world was filled with. Twilight had forgotten the one lesson that had been one of the biggest parts of her life.

Twilight’s eyes watered and she suddenly hugged Kai, causing him to flinch in surprise. “Of course I’ll be your friend, no matter what!”
            
“Okay, okay,” Kai peeled the small girl off of him and petted her head. “Shall we go for a little walk then?”

Twilight nodded and the two friends headed out into the city to explore.

 
***
 
            
“So what are those?” Twilight pointed to the various motor vehicles that roared down the main street.
            
“Cars, mostly,” Kai replied. “That’s a bus and that one is called a truck. They are used for carrying all sorts of things, from just people to furniture, goods and even entire houses!”
            
“So they’re like a self-propelled carriage then?” Twilight watched them race by and noted that almost all of them spewed a smoke trail. “Are they on fire or something?”
            
“No that’s the exhaust, caused by the petroleum fuelled engine that makes them go.” Kai didn’t really know how the mechanical side of cars worked. He didn’t own one, so he never bothered to learn.
            
“The buildings are so tall as well!” Twilight craned her neck up to look at a nearby skyscraper… only to nearly fall backwards, but Kai caught her in time.

Twilight took out a notepad and scribbled down some more notes, and held the pen in her mouth. Some people stared at the little goth-loli girl writing with her mouth, but didn’t do much else. Weirder things happened in the city all the time.
            
“Maybe you should practice writing with your hands,” Kai mentioned with an exasperated sigh. “I have an idea, would you like to see where I work?”

Twilight looked up from her notebook and nodded, she was curious to see what he did for a living. They headed further into the central business district and into a multi-story shopping centre. Twilight’s eyes could not stay still as she looked left and right at all the stores and people.

They eventually came to a stop outside one store in particular. Twilight looked up at the glowing sign and read it aloud.
            
“EB Games? Is that right?”

Kai nodded and led her inside. “That’s right, we sell video games here. Like the ones you’ve seen me play at home.”
            
“We have them in Equestria as well,” Twilight explained as she picked up the case of Pokémon X. “But I never really got into them. Though I keep hearing rumours that Princess Luna likes them…”

Kai was about to ask who that was when someone called out his name. “HEY KAI!”
            
“Ah crap.” He turned towards the counter to see his ‘favourite’ co-worker there, the manager’s idiot son, Mike.
            
“I thought you were out sick?” he asked. “We’ve been pretty damned busy today.”

Kai sighed and nodded, “Still not feeling that great.” Then he remembered what day it was. “I just came by to pick up ‘A Link between Worlds’.”

Mike nodded and pulled his pre-ordered game out from the counter. “Figured this’d be the reason… though I don’t know why these Zelda games are so popular.”

Kai wanted to point out a few things, unless it was Call of Duty or Battlefield, Mike wouldn’t know a good game if it came up and sodomised him. “Yeah, well…” He’d paid for his game and was about to leave when Mike noticed Twilight.
            
“Who’s the kid, your sister of sumthin?” Neither Mike nor the manager knew that Kai had no relatives. It wasn’t like it was any of their business.
            
“Uh, yeah… my little sister.” He put an arm round Twilight and pulled her a little closer. “She’s visiting from overseas for a while. Twilight, this is Mike, Mike, this is Twilight.”

Twilight gave a polite courtesy. “A pleasure to meet you Mr. Mike.”
            
“Sure, same here.” Mike scratched his head, what kinda parents named their kid Twilight?
            
“Okay, that’s done, let’s go Twi.” She pulled the girl out of the store and around the corner before she could say otherwise.
            
“Hey! What was that for?” She pulled her arm loose and nearly fell over in the process. “That was rude.”

Kai stopped, maybe it was a little. “Sorry, just don’t like that guy much.”
            
“He seemed nice enough to me,” Twilight replied. “I’m worried about you though, doesn’t friendship mean anything to you?”

Kai scowled and looked away. “I don’t need friends, and people don’t want me as a friend alright!”

Twilight opened her mouth and closed it again. That feeling was somewhat familiar, but that was a long time ago. Did he always feel like this? Did he really mean it when he said that they were friends?

Twilight looked back at Kai. “We’re gonna talk about this later okay? But for now…” Her stomach gave a loud rumble and she smiled sheepishly. “Can we get something to eat?”

Kai’s mood lifted and he chuckled. “Sure thing, Princess.”

 
***

 
Kai took Twilight to some of the usual tourist spots as well, like the Great Harbour Bridge, Centerpoint Tower, Chinatown and more. The two were thoroughly exhausted by the time they got home.
            
“Your city is amazing!” Twilight panted, her arms loaded with shopping bags filled with gifts for her friends back home. “Humans are capable of so much, my head is spinning.” 

Actually, now that she thought of it, the room was spinning a little.
            
“I think the spell’s about to wear off,” she dashed into the bathroom and began to strip off her clothes before they tore. There was a flash of light from under the door and alicorn Twilight emerged a few seconds later. “That was close,” she breathed a sigh of relief. “I didn’t realise that the spell would give me so little warning.”
            
“At least we got here before it did,” Kai replied, not wanting to think what would happen if that had happened in the middle of the city. “Are you alright?”
            
“Just a little light-headed,” Twilight smiled softly. “Could I have some water please?”

Kai nodded and fetched her a glass with a straw, “So you enjoyed your little tour of the city then?”
Twilight’s smile grew a little wider, “Yes, I can’t believe who amazing it was. The buildings are so tall, similar to the ones in Manehatten.”

Kai walked back into the living room. “Did you just say ‘Manehatten’?”
            
“Yes…?” Twilight was curious about the tone of his voice. “Do you know of it?”
            
“Sort of,” Kai pulled out a chair and sat next to the couch Twilight was lying on. “There’s a city in another country called ‘Manhatten’.”
            
“That is so weird,” Twilight replied, but Kai wasn’t done yet.
            
“And this Canterlot place you mention, one of the kingdoms from the Middle Ages was called Camelot.”
            
“Another coincidence?” Twilight asked. “What about… Las Pegasus?”
            
“Las Vegas.”
            
“Yanhoover?”
            
“Vancouver.”
            
“Fillydelphia?
            
"Philadelphia.”
            
“Baltimare?”
            
"Baltimore.”

Twilight was astounded, did every town and city in Equestria have an Earth counterpart?
            
“The main difference,” Kai groaned. “Is that all your cities have really bad puns…”

The two stared at each other for a moment and then burst out into a fit of giggles.
            
“Our worlds are weird huh?” Kai said in between laughs and Twilight nodded in agreement.

A loud rumble interrupted the merriment and Twilight giggled again. “Seems like somepony is hungry.”
            
“Well after dragging you all over the place today…” he thought for a moment. “You wanna get something delivered? I don’t really feel like cooking.”
            
“Sure!” Twilight nodded and after a brief deliberation, it was decided that they would get some Chinese food. Noodles and vegetables for Twilight, roast duck and rice for Kai.
            
“Kai, can we talk about something?” Twilight asked once he got off the phone. “I think it’s important.”
            
“Okay,” he replied.
            
“It’s… about your friends… or lack thereof.”

Kai sat back down and sighed. “Look, I’m not a sociable person and I just don’t really need any friends.”
            
“So we’re not friends then?” Twilight put a hoof top her mouth in surprise. She didn’t mean to say that.
            
“We are friends, you’re probably my first friend actually… at least you’re someone ‘I’d’ consider a friend.” Kai knew lots of people, like the head librarian that let him have a key to the building. The manager and Mike and EB, the lady at the ramen restaurant he’d often visit… but none of them he met on a regular basis, nor did he spend much time with them.
            
“I used to be like that,” Twilight murmured. “I’d stay cooped up inside and study all day. If anypony wanted to spend time with me, I’d always make some excuse to not go.” She smiled fondly as she recalled the time she first went to Ponyville. “And now I have so many wonderful friends, ones I could never live…without…” Tears began to form as she realised just how much she missed all of her friends back home. “I wish you could meet them Kai, I bet everypony would want to be your friend.”

Kai knew the ponies she was probably referring to, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, rarity, Pinkie Pie and Applejack, the five mares that he met inside the mindscape.
            
“Maybe…” he simply replied.

Twilight then got an idea, a dangerous idea. “You… you could always come with me?”

Kai paused and looked at the princess. “Come again?”

Twilight nodded with a nervous smile on her face. “Y-yeah, you come to Equestria with me. You can meet my friends, we’ll have parties and hang out and-“
            
“But is that even possible?” Kai cut her off.

Twilight’s little rant was stopped and she started at him. “Well I managed to come here, so the opposite should be true.”
            
“But would I even fit in there? I’m sure that not all ponies are nice like you and your friends. What about my job? What about my life here? Would I even be able to return? We still don’t even know if you can get back…” He stopped when he realised what he had just said, and the tears in Twilight’s eyes confirmed that it was a poor choice of words.
            
“Twilight, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-” Twilight got up and bolted into his room, locking the door magically behind her.

Kai just put his face in his hands and sighed. “Yeah, great. Real smooth moron.”

 
***

 
Night had fallen in Canterlot by the time Twilight’s friends arrived. They had received a letter saying that they were urgently needed and to come right away.
            
“So whut do ya think all of this is about?” Applejack asked.
            
“I guess that the Princess will tell us when we get there,” Rainbow Dash replied.

Once they reached the throne room, not only were all three Princesses waiting for them, but Shining Armour and Twilight’s parents were there too. The absence of one particular pony did not go unnoticed however.
            
“Princess Celestia, what’s going on?” Dash was the first to ask. “And where’s Twilight?”

That question caused everypony to look away. “That is the reason I have summoned you all here tonight.” Celestia descended from her throne, her face had lost it usual grace and was filled with concern. “As of 1:56am, three nights ago, Princess Twilight Sparkle went missing.”

A collective gasp echoed throughout the room and Twilight Velvet was the first to find her voice. “What do you mean missing? Was she abducted? Is there a ransom?”
            
“Nothing quite like that, we think.” Celestia replied. “I have spent the last few nights investigating this and I have come to the conclusion that Twilight was attempting experimental magic.”
            
“Sounds like our egghead,” Rainbow chuckled nervously.

Luna took over from here. “It would seem that Princess Twilight was attempting mass teleportation. Even we cannot make heads or tails from her notes, but she seems to have tried the experiment on herself, teleporting to an unknown location.”
            
“Somewhere here in Equestria?” Shining asked. “Because I’ll search every corner of the kingdom if I have to!”
            
“We are unsure,” Luna replied. “Only that the spell was designed for long distance transport. It appears that she incorporated some Crystal Empire technology as well, which is why we have called the two of you.”
            
“I’ll contact my sister, Star Sparkle,” Velvet said. “Perhaps Twilight contacted her for advice?”
            
“What about us, your majesty?” Rarity asked. “What can we do to help?”
            
“Did you girls bring the Elements of Harmony like I asked?” Celestia said and the five mares nodded, producing the artefacts.
            
“It seems that Twilight may still have her Element with her, so we might be able to use yours to make a beacon of sorts, to help find her.”

Everypony nodded, was Twilight in danger? Could they rescue her in time?

If only they knew…


> Intermission - The Things He Saw.
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Intermission – The Things He Saw.


Kai didn’t sleep well that night. He had tried once again before bed to speak to Twilight, but the mare had sealed the door somehow and refused to answer his calls.

His dreams were full of memories of the time they had shared minds, and the things he had seen…


~~~


“Where the hell am I?” Kai sat alone in an endless grassy plain. “I was in my apartment a moment ago… am I dreaming?”

“In a sense, but this is little different.” The familiar voice made him crane his neck backwards and saw Twilight standing behind him. She was a little different though, she seemed a little smaller and didn’t have any wings.

“Oh, hey there Twilight, where are we?”

Unicorn Twilight looked around and drew a long breath, before exhaling. “Twilight, the real Twilight anyway, is currently inside your mind, your consciousness… and in order to do that, your active persona needed a place to go.”

Kai looked around, “So this is a glorified waiting room?”

“If you want to put it like that, then I suppose that will do.” The landscape suddenly shifted s buildings began to appear. Made of white stone, straw roofs and thick, wooden beams, Kai thought it was like something out of a fairy tale book.

“I was hoping for something more modern, maybe a catch a movie or something?” He looked at Twilight and he saw something on her eyes, a feeling of fond nostalgia.

“This is Ponyville… it’s where I used to live.” The human watched scenes unfold, like screenshots from a movie. Twilight and five other brightly-coloured ponies doing all sorts of things, like fighting dragons and hydras, going on adventures and just living life.

The common element among all the things he saw, was that the same five ponies were always with Twilight.

“They’re my irreplaceable friends,” Twilight explained, as if she had read his mind. “Would you like to meet them?”

Kai nodded and five mares appeared from the aether. Twilight introduced them as they showed up one by one.

“This is Rarity,” The white unicorn gave a polite nod.

“And Fluttershy.” Fluttershy peeked at the man from behind her mane.

“Applejack.” The earth pony mare tipped her hat.

“Rainbow Dash!” This mare flared her wings and grinned.

“And Pinkie Pie.” Kai suddenly fell backwards as a pink mare pressed her nose against his.

Twilight just smiled, “Everypony, this is my new friend Kai.” He was greeted by a chorus of hello’s and the scenery suddenly shifted again, causing some slight nausea.

“Please tell me when you’re gonna do that,” Kai grabbed his spinning head. Once the feeling had passed, he checked out his new surroundings. It appeared to be a library of sorts, nothing near the size of the one he went to, but it had a certain homely charm to it.

“So where are we now?”

Twilight walked around, running a hoof gently across the spines of some books. “I used to live here, right amongst my friends… but I feels like a lifetime ago now.”

Kai watched her, and the sad look in her eye. Had something happened? She did look different. Did her friends all?

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I-I know what It's like to lose someone.”

Twilight stopped and looked at him, blinking a few times until what he said registered. “What are you talking about? My friends aren’t dead!”

What?

Twilight looked out of a window to a distant city nestled on the side of a mountain. “After I ascended and became an alicorn, my duties as a Princess forced me to move away. It’s been… maybe a year? But it feels much longer.”

Kai buried his face into his hands again, this time out of embarrassment. “Sorry, now I feel stupid.”

Twilight giggled and that sound seemed to lift Kai’s spirit a little. It was hard to think of her as just a pony, as just a mere animal. 
Was it because she could talk? Or was it more than that?

“Equestria to Kai!” the object of his thoughts waved a hoof in front of his face. “You there?”

Kai blinked and looked at her, “Huh? Oh, yeah. Sorry, I got a little lost in thought.”

Twilight giggled and Kai felt his face grow warm. “Well I can’t say I haven’t been guilty of that a few times.” She sighed and looked around the library, watching scenes play out of her friends and family. “I really should visit more often…”

Something caught Kai’s attention; another Twilight was peeking at him from the basement. Upon his noticing of her presence, she emerged and Kai saw that she was wearing goggles and a lab coat.

“Well look at you~” she cooed, looking him over. “I can’t wait to start my… experiments.”

The other Twi suddenly lifted her scientific counterpart off of the floor and unceremoniously dumped her back in the basement. “Oh no. You are going to stay put!”

“But think of the knowledge!” Evil Genius Twilight cried. “He’s a new species and we must know EVERYTHING!!”

“But nothing!” Twilight slammed the basement door shut and locked it. “And that’s enough of that!” she snorted. Turning back to Kai, who was utterly confused by the whole scene, she smiled sweetly. “Sorry about that.”

Kai just shrugged, “Ah, no worries… who the heck was that anyway?”

Twilight blushed a little, “You’re inside my mindspace and that was a certain aspect of my persona… the more, curious side.”

“I see,” Kai made a mental note… never give this mare a lab coat. “So now what?”

Twilight thought for a moment. “Well you’ll be for as long as Twilight remains inside of you, you shall remain here.” Kai had a look at some of the books on the shelf, but couldn’t read any of them. 

“What do some of these say?” he asked his unicorn guide. This question gave her a wonderful idea. She levitated a book over and gave it to him. “Why don’t you read this? It will be quite the interesting surprise!”

After seeing scientist Twi, Kai was dubious about his current companions’ state of mind. “It won’t explode will it?”

“Certainly not!” Twilight huffed. “I would never damage a book for the sake of a practical joke!”

Kai gave a non-believing hum and opened the book slowly. Better to be safe than sorry. The book was totally unreadable like the rest, but after a few moments, the text peeled away from the pages and began to spin around him. The book glowed rightly, causing 
Kai to close his eyes and once he opened them again, something was different.

He could read the book!

“Wait, what the -?”

Twilight giggled again, “Surprised? Since this whole thing was for Twilight Sparkle to learn to read your language, I thought I’d return the favour.”

He read over the book again. “The Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide?” The book mentioned something (somepony?) called The Mare in the Moon, and six artefacts known as the Elements of Harmony.

Twilight waited patiently as he thumbed through the book, taking some small joy in watched him read. After a few moments, he stopped ad returned the book to its rightful place on the shelf. “So what else do you want to do?” he asked.

Twilight stopped and stared blankly into space for a moment, seemingly lost deep in thought. “Well… we still look like we have a few minutes, so what should we do..?”

Kai looked around the libraries foyer and noticed something that didn’t seem to be there before. Two doors stood off to the left side of the room. One was a thick iron door, wrapped in heavy chains and glowing seals. The other looked less ominous, but no less suspicious.

“What are those doors?” he asked, “Though I feel like I don’t want to know the answer.”

Twilight visibly paled when she saw them, “Those lead to two aspects of myself… Let’s go outside okay?”
Kai nodded but before they could leave, the unchained door opened a bit and Kai was suddenly dragged inside by an unseen force.



***



“Ow, what the hell?” Kai groaned over the rough treatment and looked around, but the room was pitch black and utterly silent… until a soft giggle broke that silence.

Kai recognised that giggle. “Okay Twilight, very funny, you mind getting the lights?”

“As you wish,” her gentle voice replied and the room was suddenly bathed in a soft candle light.

Twilight herself was laid upon a large bed, draped with soft, red silk sheets. The candles floated around the room, like flickering stars in the night sky.

“So… you’re the one I get to… experiment with then?” she cooed and Kai suddenly felt very awkward and a little uncomfortable. 

“Um, you’re not that scientist version from earlier… are you?”

Twilight giggled and closed her eyes into a half-lidded stare. “No… but I do like to experiment though. Take this riding crop for example!” he produced said item and gave it a few swings. “You would not believe how many uses this has… and with this bit and these reins...” she lowered her gaze and smiled, spreading her wings. “Feel like going for a pony ride big boy?”

At that point, the door exploded inwards and unicorn Twi burst into the room, her eyes filled with anger. “We are leaving. NOW!” she grabbed the human with her magic and carried out the newly formed door (More like gaping hole) and back into the open field they were first in.

“I’m sorry about that,” she apologised profusely, placing the human upright on his feet. “Ever since I became an alicorn, certain… urges… have become difficult to deal with.”

Kai chose to respectfully and wisely stay silent… until another Twilight approached him. This was also looking quite different, her eyes were wide and the iris’ had shrunk to pinprick size. Her mane and tail had a wild, jagged look about them, but what really made Kai sweat was the Cheshire Cat grin she wore.

‘Wanna play a game Mister?” she asked, her left eye twitching. “It’s real easy.”

Kai continued to remain silent.

“All you gotta do is answer a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to a question I’m gonna ask.” The main Twilight’s horn lit up, this was not going to end well.

Crazy Twi giggled, but this giggle did not put Kai’s mind at ease.

“Do you like mmmm… bananas?”

A massive magenta beam blasted the crazed unicorn, leaving a smouldering crater where she once stood.

“Twilight…” Kai finally found his voice. “I'm starting to think that you have a lot of issues.”

The scenery began to fade to white and Twilight blushed. “Please don’t tell her what you saw here, I know it’s scientifically impossible to die of embarrassment… but I think she’d do a decent effort of proving me wrong.”

Kai laughed as he faded away, this pony was something else!



~~~



The sun hadn’t even risen yet by the time Kai woke up. Looking around, he saw that his bedroom door was slightly ajar. Deciding to take a look (he wanted to see if Twilight was alright) he peeked inside the room and let out a sigh, facepalming.

Twilight was snoring cutely on his bed, the ear buds of his IPod still hanging from her ears. 

“I don’t believe this, I spend the whole night worrying that I’d hurt her feelings…” he picked up the device and checked the playlist. “And she spends the night listening to Bon Jovi.”

He sat on the end of the bed and watched her chest rise and fall with each breath. Her hind leg would twitch occasionally and the slightest murmur would escape her lips.

Her forehooves suddenly groped around and Kai brought the blanket up to her, tucking her in. Twilight sighed contently and drifted back to sleep.

“I have to help her find a way home… “

He wandered back out into the living room and decided that he’d tidy up. Once awake, falling vack asleep again was near impossible for him, and when he was bored, cleaning was something he tended to do.

As he picked up some books, he reached under the couch to see if any were there, only to find some metallic.

He had to lift the couch to get at it, but once the item was in his hands… he gazed at the golden tiara in his palms, staring into the amethyst star set on the top.

“The hell is this thing?”

 


> The Truth Revealed?
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Chapter Five – The Truth Revealed?


Celestia flicked on the lights as her and five mares entered Twilight’s laboratory. Layers of dust covered almost everything and Rarity stifled a sneeze as they looked around. The walls weren’t visible, buried under hundreds, possibly thousands of notes, sketches and writing that nopony in the room could even hope to understand.
            
“Oh Twilight, what has made you so enthralled in this research?” Celestia sighed as she lifted a few books, hoping to find a clue to her friends’ whereabouts.
            
“Just what was the egghead doing in here?” Rainbow asked, “I figured that she was done shutting herself in like this?”

Celestia thought so as well, but the weeks following the young alicorn’s coronation, Twilight had spent more and more time in here, and about two weeks prior, Celestia had only seen her once or twice. The diarch looked to Spike, the only individual that had regular contact with Twilight.
            
“Do you know what she was up to in here?”

Spike nodded and beckoned for everypony to follow him into the next room, what awaited them made them gasp. A large, fragmented crystal ring sat on the floor in the centre of the room with a complex magic circle contained within it.
            
“What the hay is this thing?” Applejack asked as Celestia and Rarity looked over it. Rarity had studied some magic, but she was nowhere near Twilight’s level, a glance at the alicorns notes on this ‘project’ simply served to hurt her head.

Celestia had lived for a long time, but after a millennia of life, Celestia was amazed that she could still be surprised like this.
            
“Well?” Rainbow Dash tapped hoof, “What the heck was Twi doing here?”

Celestia looked her notes again and nodded, “Well it appears to be a complex method of teleportation… but why would she need some much power?” The spell matrix that lay here could transport maybe a hundred ponies at once or several ponies over a massive distance. “I think that Twilight has teleported somewhere.”
            
“That’s what she was trying to do,” Spike said, “She was researching ways to let non-magical ponies and other creature’s teleport.” He had started dusting her desk, mostly out of habit. “Twilight got the idea in her head that it wasn’t fair that only unicorns’ could use magic, so she started researching way for other ponies to wield its power.”
            
“But couldn’t that be dangerous?” Fluttershy finally spoke up.

Spike shook his head, “Twilight wasn’t thinking about granting individuals magic, that would be reckless.” He pointed to the crystal ring, “This is supposed to be a gateway, well part of a series of them anyway, that ponies could use to travel instantly to other cities or towns.” He plucked a small stack of notes from her desk, “And these are designs for rings that could grant the user minor telekinesis, imagine the uses that could have? Allowing earth pony or pegasi doctors to use surgical tools more accurately, furniture movers could lift heavy objects easily, construction workers, police, disabled ponies!”
            
"Okay, we get it!” Rainbow cut off the small dragon’s rant. “Twilight was trying to do something awesome… but that doesn’t answer where she went.” It wasn’t like the studious pony to leave all these unfinished projects. “Did she really teleport?”

Celestia sighed again, “I honestly wish that was the case, but I have had my Guard searching high and low, as well as both my sister and I scanning the waking and dreaming world… and not a trace of her can be found.”
            
“Maybe Twilight totally zapped herself to another universe?” Pinkie said, like the thought just flittered past her mind. “To a land filled with giant monkeys and super-duper technology!”

Fluttershy, AJ, Rarity and Rainbow just stared at their friend. “Seriously Pinks?” Applejack deadpanned, “That has got to be the most-“
            
“It’s possible,” Celestia whispered and everypony did a double-take. Pinkie pulled a glass of water from her mane, took a long swig and then spat it out dramatically. “WHAAAAT?!”

Celestia nodded, “Other worlds exist, but crossing the boundaries that divide them has always been considered impossible, only one other unicorn in existence never gave up on studying that area.” She looked up towards a large portrait on the wall, “Starswirl was obsessed with the notion of otherworldly travel, until the day he disappeared.”
            
“Do-do ya’ll think he traveled to another world?” Applejack asked

Celestia just gave a small nod, “I want to believe so… it’s certainly a more appealing belief that he simply disintegrated himself trying.” The princess instantly regretted those words after seeing the looks of shock and horror on everyponies faces. “Oh! Wait, not that I think that’s what happened to Twilight. I am certain that she’s perfectly safe.”

Spike sighed as he stacked some notes neatly on Twilight’s desk. What couldn’t the mare he considered a sister go an entire week with causing or at least be involved in some kind of disaster.
            
“Princess?” Rarity spoke up, “You mentioned before that our Elements could somehow be used to find dear Twilight. What did you mean by that?”

The door to the observatory swung open and Princess Luna strode in. “Allow Us to explain that,” she said. “As you all must know, the Elements are connected by a powerful bond, one tied to even fate itself.” Luna glanced at some diagrams on the wall and snorted, why would somepony want a plush cube with a weak ‘Want it, Need it’ spell attached? “And that connection is considered impossible to sever, Discord tried and failed miserably if you all recall.”
            
“So what’s the plan then?” Rainbow was getting impatient, and Luna clicked tongue in annoyance.
            
“The plan, so to speak, is to cast a spell that would use the Elements as a spiritual bridge and link to wherever Twilight Sparkle is. Whether that connection can be used to get her home, or simple give us an idea of where she is, We are not sure.”
            
“Well it’s better than doing nothing,” Applejack said, happy that they were finally doing something useful. “When do we all start?”
            
“We shall meet Princess Cadenza in the Hall of Harmony shortly; it is there we can cast the spell.”
            
“Hall… of Harmony?” the five mares echoed, what the heck was that?

Celestia chose to explain this part, “It is where ancient rituals used to be cast, young virgin mares would pray for the continuing peace and prosperity of Equestria.” Celestia still remembered those days, the prayers of course, held no power but it made her little ponies feel safer.
            
“That must have been some time ago,” Rarity said as they all started to head there. “I've never heard of something like that… except in old fairy tales.”
            
“The last ritual was a little over two hundred years ago.” Celestia continued, “And even then, they were getting rare.”

Once they entered the antechamber, Twilight’s friends let out a surprised gasp. The chamber itself was enormous, pristine white tiles covered the floor and large marble pillars surrounded the spherical room. Flowing lace curtains flowed from the ceiling to the floor and swayed gently, despite the total lack of any wind. A large pool sat at the far end of the room and water flowed from two alicorn statues carved into the wall behind it.
            
“It's so beautiful…” Fluttershy whispered in awe, “I never knew a place like this existed.”

Princess Cadence walked inside, following closely behind Luna. “I think that apart from the three of us, nopony in Equestria still remembers this place.”
            
“Well it has been some time since it was used,” Celestia commented. “But it looks like the spells keeping this place clean are still working.”
            
“So what makes this room so special anyway?” Rainbow asked. “Are we planning getting a hooficure while we’re here?”

Luna was about to reprimand the pegasus mare’s insolence, but Celestia raised a hoof. “This room is one of the most magical in all of Equestria. It’s a special place for us alicorn’s and it’s here that our magical power more acutely than anywhere else.”
            
“Whut makes it so special fer alicorns?” Applejack asked, her instincts telling her that the Princess wasn’t telling the whole truth, but the solar mare avoided the question.
            
“I think we should get started, and the explanations can wait until later, I think that finding Twilight should take precedence.”
           
“So what do you want us to do?” Rarity glanced down at her Element. “It won’t hurt will it?”

Celestia chuckled and shook her head, “No dear Rarity, it won’t hurt at all. I want you five to stand here and simply relax. We will handle the rest.”

Once they had taken their places, Celestia, Luna and Cadence formed a triangle around them.


Elements of Harmony, hear our plea

To find the Magic, o let Us see

Lost to Us, her dearest friends

Look to every corner, of all worlds’ ends

The hum of magical energy grew louder and some of them fought the urge to plug their ears. The Elements themselves shone brightly as they resonated with one another. A trail of rainbow light began to connect them, but once it came time to connect to Twilight’s the stream stopped, almost like it was confused.
            
“Now what?” Cadence asked, her hooves sliding against the tiles as the Elements drew the magic from her. It felt like somepony had grabbed her horn and was pulling hard on it.
           
“The Elements are searching,” Celestia called out over the noise, even she was struggling to stay put.
            
“Nrgh! This is more difficult that We imagined!” Luna grunted, sparks pouring from her. “We forgot how much power the Elements wielded.”

The power reached its climax and a sudden burst knocked everypony off of their hooves. The Bearers merely fell to the floor, but the three Princesses were blown backwards, Luna smacked straight into one of the pillars, shattering it with a loud crack. Celestia and Cadence were tossed into the shallow pool, skidding back until they hit the wall.

The room was silent until Rainbow regained consciousness. “Ah, damn that stings…” she hissed, rubbing her temple. “Oh don’t worry, it won’t hurt… yeah, won’t hurt my rainbow-coloured rear!” She prodded Fluttershy, who let out a small groan in response. “Where are those Princesses? I wanna have some… words?” Rainbow’s anger fizzled out when she saw the three alicorns.

Luna was lying on the floor, her midnight coat covered in marble dust from the shattered pillar. Her body was covered in small cuts and bruises. Celestia and Cadence were worse off at the moment and Dash raced over to them, lifting their heads from the water so they wouldn’t drown.
           
“Girls! I need some help here!” she called out, rousing the other mares from their impromptu slumber. Applejack was the first to get up, shakily at first, but wasted little time in jumping into the pool to help Rainbow. Fluttershy flew off to get help while Rarity and Pinkie tended to Luna.

The moon princess groaned as Rarity tried to wake her. “But Momma, Celly ate all the cookies!” she mumbled before her eyes drooped closed again.
        
“I think she’s okay?” Rarity said and Pinkie giggled at the silly alicorn. They had managed to get the three princesses to the centre of the room as Fluttershy returned with a small army of medics. It was pandemonium as wounds were cleaned and dressed, healing spells cast and ethers were injected to restore magical energy more quickly. After several minutes, the three Princesses were awake and Luna batted away several nosy medics.
          
“I am fine, please leave me be!” she said sternly and Celestia frowned.
          
“Relax Luna, they are simply doing their job.” She gave the staff a sincere smile, “But my sister is right, we are fine now. Thank you all.”
           
“You should be thankful to those mares there,” the elder medic said, pointing to the Bearers. “You’re injuries would be worse in not for their quick thinking… that said, you should have had us ready for something like this. Putting yourselves and five civilians in danger like that!”

Luna was shocked that they were spoken to like that. “But we-“
            
“No buts!” the doctor snapped. “That was a foolish thing to do and you three should feel ashamed!”

The three princesses hung their heads as the scolding continued. “We’re sorry,” they said in unison and Pinkies giggling erupted into laughter over the three most powerful ponies in Equestria getting yelled at. That caused to doctor to turn his sharp glare towards them.
            
“And you three, you wield the most powerful artefacts in the world. You should have known better as well!”

Rainbow flared her wings, but the doctors steely gaze made her close them. “Honestly, try and be more careful next time!”
            
“Yes Sir!” the five mares said, utterly defeated.
 

Once the medical staff left, the eight mares took a moment to collect themselves.
            
“So what happened?” Rainbow asked. “I thought you said that it’d be safe?”

Celestia bowed her head, “I apologise, it would appear that the magical feedback was stronger than I anticipated. Are all of you alright?”
            
“We should be askin’ you that!” Applejack replied. “Y’all took a bigger hit than we did.”

Luna puffed out her chest, “It will take more than a pillar to stop us dear Applejack!”
            
“What about the spell?” Rarity asked, “Did it work? Do you know where Twilight is?”

Celestia got up and walked over to the pool, its waters still rippling gently, but as Celestia raised a hoof over its surface, it became as still as a sheet of glass.
            
“Let’s see shall we.” Her horn flickered and then flared to life once more as the water glowed. It began to ripple once more and sounds could be heard from it, muffled voices that gradually became clearer.
            
“It would appear that we have sound, but no visual on where she is.” Celestia frowned. “Just where is she?”
            
“Shh, I can hear something!” Cadence shushed her aunt.

 
***
 
            
“You’ll not beat me again villain!” Twilight’s voice rang out.

A deeper voice followed, clearly a male one. “Muahahaha! You always lose and you will lose again Princess!” Other sounds could be heard, was Twilight fighting somepony?!
            
“And I am victorious one more!” the male said as Twilight let out a scream. The water bubbled and the noises stopped.
            
“Wait! What!?” Rainbow smashed her hoof into the water. “Get it back, what’s happened to Twilight?”

Celestia’s composure fell and a worried look crossed her face. “I fear we don’t have much time. Once our magic is restored to its fullest, we will try again. The connection has been established and this time we should be able to get her home.” She looked at the pool, “I just pray that Twilight can hold on.”

 
***

 
Meanwhile…
 
Twilight tossed the controller onto the couch beside her as Kai wiped the floor with her again! His twentieth consecutive win at this ‘Street Fighter’ game, and it was starting to grind her nerves.
            
“So explain how despite the fact that I can press the buttons more quickly and accurately with my magic, than you can with those clumsy fingers… and yet you still keep winning!”

Kai laughed, once Twilight had woken up the two had shared an awkward round of apologies and a rather large stack of pancakes. Afterwards, Kai thought he’d get the Princess acquainted with one of his favourite past-times.

Needless to say, after a dozen different games, Twilight had been utterly terrible at every single one.
            
“What can I say Twi, that I’m simply too good? Or maybe that you are just plain terr-” he never got to finish as Twilight whapped him with a pillow.
            
“I say that you’re cheating!” she giggled, continuing her fluffy assault.

Kai growled and grabbed the pillow from her magical grasp, tossing it aside. “And what was that I heard about… clumsy hands was it?”

Twilight’s eyes widened, she seen that sort of grin before, “Oh, oh nononono… you wouldn’t dare!”

Kai leapt from the floor and Twilight yelped in surprise as he pinned her to the couch. “Oh I think I would dare,” he grinned as he wiggled his fingers for emphasis.

Twilight shrieked as he tickled her ruthlessly, finding the weak spots behind her front legs and ears. “Noooo, n-not there!” she howled with laughter.

Kai laughed as well as he continued his assault. “Resistance is futile, your highness!” He moved his hand around to tickle her back but once he traced a line in the spot between her wings, her laughter changed to a low, pleasured moan.

Both of them stopped and stared at one another before breaking out into a bright red blush.
            
“Uh…”
            
“T-that was…”
            
“I didn’t mean to…”

The two just blinked and Kai realised he was still on top of her, he quickly returned to his spot on the floor. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to do that...”

Twilight shook her head and tried to get her wings under control. “No, it’s fine,” she muttered. “I didn’t even know that I was so…”

There was another awkward silence and Kai desperately wanted to change the subject. “Oh, y-yeah, I found something this morning.”
            
“What is it?” Twilight asked, her heart still racing.

Kai got up and fished around on the top of his bookshelf. “I meant to show you this morning, but I totally forgot.” He pulled down the tiara he found and showed her. “I know I didn’t buy something like this-“
            
“N-no way!” Twilight suddenly exclaimed, snatching the object from his hands and examining it more closely. “It really is!”
            
“It really is what?” the human responded, “Is it yours?”

Twilight nodded, her smile was wide as her eyes sparkled. “This is my Element of Harmony! With this…” her smile grew even wider, “I think I can get home with this!”

Element of Harmony? Didn’t the Twilight he met in that dream mention those? What was so special about it that she could use it to get home?
            
“This explains why my magic recharged faster than I thought,” Twilight said, and silence from her human friend told her that she would have to explain. “Okay, the Elements of Harmony are the most powerful magical artefacts in all of Equestria. My Element is tied to Magic, something that exists within everypony and everything… but this world, I can still feel magic, but it’s weak, much, much weaker than Equestria.”
            
“But since this Element of yours was under my couch the whole time?”

Twilight nodded, “Being in such close proximity allowed my magic to recharge faster.” But how come she never realised her Element was even here, it was tied to her very being and she could feel when the object was close.
            
“And magic really exists here?” That was interesting news to Kai. “Hey Twilight… is it possible, that maybe I could…?”

Twilight knew what he was about to ask, “I honestly don’t know if you could use magic. You don’t have a horn to focus the magical energies… there are other ways of course.” Her mind flooded with options and ideas. How could Kai use magic? What routes should she study to find a way home? A little giggle escaped her lips, but Kai barely registered it.

Kai should have been happy, he should have been glad that the purple pony could go home and his life could go back to his normal, predictable way.

So why?

Why did he feel so damned upset?

> A Learning Experience
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Chapter Six - A Learning Experience.


The sun had risen on a new day and Kai had finally had to go back to work. He had made sure that Twilight had everything she needed before he left. There were a few pre-made meals in the fridge, access to reading materials and he made sure that the voice recognition software on his PC was enabled. Having thick hooves was not ideal for typing on a keyboard.

“Are you sure you’ll be fine?” Kai asked for what was probably the hundredth time; the purple pony frowned and sighed.

“Yes…” Twilight sighed, not for the first time this morning. “I am a grown mare and can take care of myself!” Honestly, it was like living with her mother.

“Okay, okay.” Kai fixed his belt and adjusted the strap on his bag. “I should be back around six, so don’t open the door for anyone, and remember that-“

“For the love of Celestia! I am twenty six years old, not some little foal that needs constant looking after!” Twilight was starting to get annoyed but then noticed Kai giving her the strangest look. It was a mixture of confusion, disbelief and curiosity, Twilight knew this as it was the default expression she wore when dealing with Pinkie. “What?”

Kai blinked and then shook his head, “It’s nothing… just wasn’t expecting you to be older than me.”

Kai was younger? Admittedly, Twilight wasn’t expecting that. “Really? How old are you, if you don’t mind me asking?” Twilight’s insatiable curiosity squashed her previous irritation, plus it gave her a chance to learn a little more about her caretaker.

“I’m only twenty one.”

This genuinely surprised Twilight, she had always thought he was around the same age, if not older than her. Kai glanced at his watch and cursed under his breath. “Okay, I have to go… you sure you’ll be alright?”

“I’ll be fine, just get going already.” Kai didn’t have much choice as she started to shove him out of the door. He’d probably never leave otherwise.

Once he closed the door and locked it, Twilight sighed, letting her wings droop down and she pushed a lock of her mane aside. “Okay, now let’s see what this ‘computer’ thing does.”

She pulled herself up into the plush, leather chair. By the gods it was comfy; apparently it was something Kai had spent a good deal of money on. “If one has good food, good drink and a comfy chair… not much else is needed in life.” He had said it with such a sage-like tone that Twilight couldn’t tell if he was serious or not.

“Okay, now he said it had voice recognition… so if I just…” There was a headset with a microphone attached to it and after making some adjustments, Twilight managed to make it fit.

She glanced at the notes he had left, explaining how the device worked. “Open web browser!” she exclaimed in a clear, concise tone. The desktop faded and Google Chrome opened up, another glance at the instructions told her how to search. But what should she search for?

After a moment, she thought of something. “Search; Ponies!”

The web browser thought for a moment before Google Images brought up pages of images. Twilight stared at them for a moment, a single thought crossing her mind that simple had to be vocalised.

“Wat?”

 
*~*

 
As Kai got to work, he paused for a moment as he thought about what Twilight had said the other day. He took a breath and walked inside, hoping that this would go well.

“HEY KAI!!” Mike’s incredibly loud voice seemed even louder in the empty store, the recipient of the greeting just shook his head.

“Hey Mike, been busy?”

Mike just shrugged, “Nah, well sorta… wait a minute?” Kai had actually talked to him. Was he still sick? “You feelin’ okay?”

“I’m fine,” Kai said. He logged on to the computer to check the last few days’ worth of announcements. Couple of games up for pre-order, new special editions… ooh a special edition for Mario Kart 8.

Mike just looked at his work colleague; he seemed different, not quite as unapproachable. Was he drunk? Might as well see how far he could push the whole conversation thing.

“So how’s it going with that cute little sister of yours?”

“My sister?” Kai seemed, confused? “Oh, Twilight… yeah, everything’s going okay.”

Soon it was time to open and Kai switched into work mode. Smile, nod, rinse and repeat. He really did like working here, but dealing with some customers just made him lose faith in humanity. How is it that some people were so incurably stupid? One customer had yelled at both Kai and Mike, because a pre-order that hadn’t been picked up for six months had been cancelled and sold, despite the fact that the receipt stated on the bottom that per-orders were only held for 24 hours after release.

“Man, what a douche!” Mike said once the guy had finally left. Some customers had even nodded in agreement.

Kai nodded but he wasn’t really listening, his thoughts filled by a particular purple pony princess. 

“I wonder what Twilight is doing?”

 
*~*

 
Things had gone from bad to worse to just downright terrifying. Twilight had read up on ponies and horses and where the animals stood in society. Aside from wild herds, they were beasts of burden, ploughing fields, racing or just kept as pets. Deciding to stray away from the subject, Twilight had moved onto human history…

Oh. Sweet. Celestia. Humans were the most violent creatures she had ever seen. Wars involving several nations, smaller civil wars, terrorism and murder seemed commonplace. They had invented weapons so devastating, they could destroy entire cities, leaving radioactive fallout that could affect flora and fauna for years. It would seem that a post-apocalyptic wasteland was also a popular fictional scenario. Sure, Equestria had seen some big battles and there had been casualties. The one with the Neighponese ponies a few hundred years ago had spanned a few months and had cost both Equestria and Neighpon a lot of lives and resources, but thankfully it reached a peaceful conclusion and now the nations couldn’t be closer.

She started thinking about Kai, was he also capable of such violent acts? She stomped on those thoughts immediately. Kai had been nothing but kind, a little antisocial, but kind nether-the-less.

Twilight’s wings twitched slightly as she thought about him, a gentle warmth filled her chest and she let out a small, but content sigh…

“…Oh no…”
 

*~*

 
Kai finished counting the tills and bagged up the bank deposit.

“Ugh, today sucked… I wanna go home, take a bath and die.”

Mike snorted as he adjusted his bag.  “YOLO bro, the worse the day is; the better tomorrow will be.”

Kai paused and raised an eyebrow. “You get that from a fortune cookie?”

Mike just shrugged and once the shop was closed up, the two work colleagues went their separate ways. As Kai walked home, his thoughts wandered to how the day had gone. The conversation he had with Mike was probably the longest he had ever had. And the guy hadn’t been quite as bad as Kai had initially thought. Sure, he was still a little annoying and had spent most of the day listing off girls he wanted to try and hook Kai up with… but he wasn’t all that bad.

“I guess Twilight was right after all…” He sighed and smiled. He wasn’t going to hear the end of it now. He climbed the stairs to his apartment and once he reached the door, he knocked and called out.

“Twilight? It’s me.” He unlocked the door and turned the knob but when he walked in, Twilight who had been staring at the computer monitor suddenly shrieked and fell off of the chair with a loud thud.

“Pft! You okay Princess?” Kai laughed, helping the flustered alicorn to her hooves.

“Y-yeah, totally fine. No problems here!” Twilight replied all too quickly and Kai wondered what the heck she was doing.

“Princess Twilight Sparkle… were you looking at things you shouldn’t have on the internet?” He opened the web browser and clicked on the history tab, but all he saw was a multitude of Wikipedia entries about human history and culture. Geographical charts, topography, even star charts.

Twilight had climbed back onto the chair and looked over his shoulder. “I can’t believe humans have gone as far as the moon, without magic!” She had read things that boggled her mind, despite the violence and brutality; humans had also accomplished amazing things. Manmade monuments that could be seen from space, the fact that humans had flown to the moon without wings or magic. They had explored the highest mountains and the deepest oceans, and yet there was still more that they discovered every day. There were humans that lived with nature, forgoing the modern conveniences and technology and living from the land.

But there was another matter that they needed to address. Twilight glanced at the Element of Harmony that sat on the dining table and knew that with it, she could probably go home…

“Kai, I’ve been thinking… about returning home.” She got off of the chair and clopped over to the table, looking at the gleaming tiara. “With my Element of Harmony, my magic will return to its full strength pretty soon. And then all I have to do is anchor my magic to the remaining Elements in Equestria and use them as a beacon.” It was a little more technical than that, but she guessed Kai wouldn't understand the intricacies of cross-dimensional teleportation.

“Oh… so then, you can… go home?” He tried to remain neutral, block out the emotion he was feeling. But he failed pretty badly.

“Y-yeah, but I was wondering… that computer of yours taught me a lot about your world. And well,” Twilight’s face flushed red as she looked at her hooves. “Well, could I stay here a little longer?”

Kai’s wide smile was all that was needed to confirm his answer. Twilight grinned back and soon blushed again as her stomach rumbled loudly.

“Oh, right, I may have forgotten to eat lunch today.” Twilight smiled sheepishly. Kai facepalmed and shook his head.

“Well I suppose I’d better get dinner started then.”

 
*~*

 
Twilight Velvet paced nervously around the palace throne room. It had now been a little more than a week since her daughter had disappeared and the three remaining princesses were keeping rather tight lipped about what had happened.

Her husband, Night Light, had long since given up trying to calm the mare down and was no having an idle conversation with Shining Armour.

“How can you two be so calm!?” Velvet snapped. “Twily could be in serious danger and you two sit around talking about hoofball!?”

Night sighed and walked over to his wife. “Look, honey. I know that Twilight could be in trouble… but there’s nothing we can do right now. And besides, I think our little girl could handle whatever is thrown at her don’t you think?”

The knowledge that Twilight Sparkle had saved the world several times couldn’t really console the worrying mother. She was a mother after all and it was a mother's job to worry about her children no matter how old they got or what they accomplished.

The moment was lost when the throne room doors were opened and Princesses Celestia and Luna walked in, having recovered from the last attempt to bring Twilight home.

“I apologise for keeping you waiting, Duchess Velvet, Duke Light.” Celestia bowed her head. “I believe that we will be successful this time in bringing Twilight home… I just hope that we are not too late.”

 
*~*

 
Rainbow Dash sat in the ritual chamber, her thoughts still on what they had heard. Was Twilight really in danger? Was somepony trying to hurt her?

She was so lost in her thoughts that she jumped when a hoof fell gently onto her shoulder, she whirled around to glare at her would-be-assailant, only to see Applejack sitting there.

“Applejack? What the hay, I could have hurt you?” Rainbow wasn’t angry at the Earth Pony, just surprised that she been scare… startled so easily. Yeah, totally not scared!

“Heh, sorry ‘bout that Sugarcube. Ah heard a weird noise, but it turns out that it was jus’ you thinkin.”

“Oh har har, very funny!” Rainbow lightly punched the orange mare’s shoulder. A wave of nostalgia suddenly washed over her and she found herself remembering old times, like the Iron Pony contests she used to have with her friend.

“We… we don’t hang out much anymore… do we?” Rainbow’s scratchy voice got quiet as she looked at her hooves. The truth was that it had been some time since any of their little group had just spent the day together.

“Eeyup, Twilight really was the glue that held our little posse together.” It was quite close to harvest time when Twilight became a Princess and in the following months after, everypony had just been so busy. Applejack had to harvest and prepare for next season, Weather and Wonderbolts training for Rainbow Dash. Rarity had become one of the busiest, opening up chains in Manehattan, Canterlot and even Cloudsdale. Fluttershy was still Fluttershy, she still had spa days with Rarity but other than that, she was holed up in her cottage, caring for her animals. Pinkie Pie was still the social one, throwing parties for any and every occasion. But she was also on her way to becoming a world-class baker and the godmother for Pound and Pumpkin Cake.

And then there was Twilight. Everypony knew she’d be busy with her Princess duties but everypony, even the other Princesses had been shocked to see how far she had slipped back into her old ways. Holed up indoors with endless amounts of research, it was like she’d forgotten every friendship lesson she’d learned.

“Applejack?” Rainbow Dash was worried about something, a thought that had plagued the back of her mind since they’d all arrived in Canterlot. “What if… What if this wasn’t an accident. What if Twilight-?”

Applejack nodded, “What if Twilight ran away?”

“H-how?”

Applejack laughed dryly. “You’d be surprised, but yer not the only pony who thought that. Me and the other girls just had a little talk and we all came to pretty much the same conclusion.”

Everypony had thought about it? Was this what their friendship had become, thinking that their best friend couldn’t hack it and ran away? “Some friends we are?” Rainbow muttered, tears stinging the corners of her eyes. “Twilight probably felt worse than all of us and nopony knew about it!?” Her feelings quickly turned to anger. “And now she suffering in some other dimension and what are we doing about it?”

Easy there sugar, we don’t know all the details. Twilight might be perfectly fine.” Though the words left her lips, Applejack wasn’t convinced of their sincerity. “The Princesses will be here soon and we’re gonna try again. We will get Twilight back, no matter what!”

Rainbow nodded and started at the Element of Loyalty that was clasped around her neck. These powerful artefacts was what brought them all together and it was what would bring them together once more.

 
*~*

 
“So you took my advice?” Twilight beamed at her human friend. “And so how do you feel?”
Kai shrugged as he put the dishes away. “Not much different really.”

Twilight blinked and sighed. “Well, Roam wasn’t built in a day. I’ll keep trying until you can make some more friends.”

Kai nodded and gave her a salute. “I wish you the best of luck on your valiant endeavour Princess!”

“Nopony like a smart flank!” Twilight muttered. “But I will get you to make a friend. I swear upon my title and my honour as a Princess of Equestria!”

“Maybe I’ll make more pony friends?” Kai said jokingly, but Twilight just sat there with her mouth agape. Maybe that was the answer she was looking for. Twilight certainly had no complaints if Kai wanted to come to Equestria. And if she could get this teleportation spell down, then it would be a simple matter of just jumping between worlds whenever she wanted to see him or vice-versa.

Kai noticed Twilight’s expression. “Twilight? Are you thinking that I might actually be able to go to Equestria?”

Twilight closed her mouth and nodded. “Well, I was able to come here relatively unscathed. I don’t see why the opposite shouldn’t be true.” Kai had no magic, so there was no risk of that being affected. “It would be best if I could research how the human body works in more detail though… but I don’t have a pony biology book to cross-reference it with, and ponies in this world are… different.” The alicorn shuddered as she remembered what she had discovered on the internet. Between that and the website called ‘4chan’, she was probably going to have nightmares.

The conversation had gotten pretty serious now and Kai was genuinely hoping to visit Equestria. One, he’d get to spend more time with Twilight. Two, he’d get to meet more ponies. Three, how often did a human get to visit another world?!

“Well, I’m not adverse to the idea,” Twilight finally said. “And I’d love to show you Equestria… except…”

“Except what?” Kai knew that there’d be a catch somewhere.

“Well, the rule that applies to me here might also apply to you in Equestria. I don’t know how the average pony would deal with seeing a being quite like you. Add the fact that you’re taller than almost everypony, have sharp teeth and eat meat… there might be… problems.”

“Oh, that.” Well, Twilight raised a point and having that turned back on him; Kai got a feeling on what it must be like for Twilight, being stuck here in his tiny apartment all day and night.

“I really wish you could go outside, I really do.” Out of everything, this bugged Kai the most. It was unfair to Twilight and he knew that she’d have an absolute blast if she could explore just as she is. No stupid costumes, no complex transformations…

Twilight stretched her wings and walked over to the couch. “So what’s the plan for tonight? It’s still way too early for bed and I’ve been eyeing off some of these human movies.”

“Movie Night?” Man, he hadn’t had one of those in ages. “Lemme see if I have popcorn.”

The two friends ended up watching a few animated movies, like Kung Fu Panda and Rapunzel. It was close to midnight by the time they finished and Twilight let out a loud yawn.

“They were nice, but honestly, that Rapunzel movie was a bit much. Who in Equestria breaks out into song like that?”

“Flash mobs?” Kai shrugged. “It was cute though, I think it was one of Disney’s better CGI movies. But it was nowhere near as good as their older, hand-drawn ones.” His personal favourites were Robin Hood and Lion King.

“Perhaps we could watch them tomorrow then?” Twilight yawned again. “I really enjoyed tonight.”

“Sure.” Kai stretched and helped Twilight to her hooves. “C’mon, I’ll help you get to bed. Don’t want you falling off again~”

Twilight simply stuck out her tongue. “It was one time!” But he had a point, she really didn’t want to do something so embarrassing. She suddenly let out a surprised squeak as Kai lifted her up and carried her into the bedroom.

“W-what are you doing!?” Thank Faust that the lights were switched off and Kai couldn’t see the fierce blush that erupted onto her face. She knew that the human wasn’t as frail as he looked, but she didn’t think he’d be able to pick her up so easily.
He remained silent and placed her gently on the bed, tucking the blanket over her.

“G’night Twi,” he said. And then leaning close to her, gave her a gentle kiss on the tip of her horn before leaving the room, closing the door behind him.

Forget sleep, which just flew out the window while doing a Sonic Rainboom. Twilight’s thought process was a whirlwind of confusion.


“Why? Why did he just kiss me!?”


~~~

As Kai settled onto the couch, he pulled the blanket up and closed his eyes. His eyes opened again as a realisation dawned on him. A heated blush spread across his face and he lay there with one thought on his mind.

“Why did I kiss Twilight?”

> New Friendships, Building Friendships, Breaking Friendships.
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Chapter Seven - New Friendships, Building Friendships, Breaking Friendships


Kai hadn’t gotten much sleep last night, though he tried to not think about it, the fact he had kissed Twilight goodnight stuck in his mind. Why did he do it? Was it because she pretended to be his little sister once, perhaps he missed having family? Was it love? Was it actually possible that he was falling in love with a little purple pony?

“So what if you are?” A small voice in the back of his head said. “She can talk, she has emotions and free will so it could hardly be considered bestiality.”

“But she’s not a human!” Another voice countered. “And she can’t even go outside. What a sight that’d be. Dear Human Friends, you are invited to the wedding of a social recluse and a pony princess!”

“One, we don’t have any human friends… and two, she’s also the first individual that you’ve ever gotten along with since the accident.” The first voice argued back. “She treats you with respect and doesn’t make you want to strangle kittens.”

“True enough, but the fact still remains that you have no future with her here.”

“Well what about where she comes from? We could always ask to go with her when she leaves?”

Kai sat on the couch, weighing the pros and cons of what he was feeling when Twilight peeked her head around the corner.

“Um, good morning?” Her meek greeting was still enough to scare Kai out of his skin, causing him to fall off of the couch with a loud thump.

“Ow…” Kai rubbed his back and looked at Twilight, though from his current position, she was upside down. “Morning Princess.”

Twilight supressed a giggle and nodded, “Sorry if I scared you, you looked pretty deep in thought.”

“You could say that,” Kai replied, picking himself up and stretching. “I gotta work again today, but it’s only a short shift. I should be home a little after lunch.” He looked at the pile of books that they’d liberated from the library. “I suppose I should return those as well.”

“Yeah, I already finished all of them…” She looked at Kai with pleading eyes, and that was all it took for him to get the message.

“You want more books?” He asked, earning a vigorous nod from the alicorn. “Well alright, I’ll get a few fictional books this time, some classics and perhaps some newer ones. Do you have a particular preference of genre… besides anything that’s printed on paper?”

“Oh hah, hah,” Twilight replied sarcastically. “I do have a favourite actually, any good adventure books you could recommend?”

“A magical alicorn princess, who has repeatedly saved her world from ancient evils, and now has catapulted herself across dimensions to a strange new world… likes to read adventure?” It would be like if David Attenborough’s favourite TV channel was Animal Planet. “Well alright, I can think of a few that you might like… ooh, I should pick up some movies too!” Then that gave him a brilliant idea, “Hey Twilight, ever had a movie night?”

“I’ve been to the movies a few times with my friends, but never at night.”

“Hmm, that’s not quite what I had in mind.” Kai tilted his head as he thought, the mornings predicament already forgotten… for now. “Okay, I’ll finish work, get movies, snacks and then the fun shall commence.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Twilight smiled as she set the breakfast table. “Hey, how about I make breakfast today?” She glanced back to Kai and frowned when she saw the look on his face. 

“What?”

“Well, I’d imagine that the stuff in my kitchen works a bit differently to what you’re used to. Do you want help-” He was cut off as magic zipped his lips shut and Twilight shook her head.

“Nope, I want to do this myself. You’ve done so much for me and it’s just breakfast…” She grabbed a pan from the cupboard and some pancake mix. “What could go wrong?”
…
…
…
…
Twilight bawled as Kai calmly put out the small stove fire with an extinguisher. “I just don’t know what went wrong!” She sobbed.

“Well, uh, these things happen?” Kai shrugged, not entirely sure how she set fire to his kitchen… without even turning on the stove. “Uh, how about you get ‘changed’ and we’ll go out for breakfast?”

Twilight nodded and sniffed. “Can-can I spend the day with you?” she asked hopefully, earning a small frown from Kai.

“What about if your spell wears off?” He pointed out.

“Well if I have my Element with me, my magic will recharge a lot faster. The spell lasts for about 4 hours, so all I have to do if find a bathroom, duck inside and re-cast.”

Kai didn’t like it, it was way too risky, but on the other hand, staying in this apartment for more than a week was bound to be getting on the Alicorn’s nerves.

“Alright, but we need to be extra careful-” Kai couldn’t hear himself finish the sentence as Twilight squealed with happiness and ignited her horn and transformed. The first thought that crossed Kai’s mind was that the process was very ‘anime-magical girl-like’. The next thought, he decided that he best speak it vocally.

“Twilight! Please put on some bloody clothes!”

 

*~*


 
Like before, Twilight could not keep still as they explored the city streets. She switched between staring at the massive skyscrapers, to all the vehicles that raced past on the street. And the whole time, she’d constantly be taking notes in her little notebook.

“Like a kid in a candy store,” Kai chuckled. “So what do you want to get for breakfast?”

Twilight paused and thought for a moment, “Hmm, what about pancakes?”

Kai nodded, now where could they get some decent ones? Mickey D’s was cheap, but nasty. After some poking around the CBD, he found a street side café that seemed to have some good looking food at decent prices.

As they ate, Twilight picked up on something and decided to ask Kai about it.

“Um, why does everypony keep staring at me?” She gave a shy glance to several people that had stopped whatever it was they were doing to glance at the adorable girl. “Am I doing something weird?”

Kai shook his head as he ate, “No, it’s probably because of your outfit-” He suddenly put a hand to his mouth as the words escaped his lips.

“Kai?” Twilight said slowly as she glared at him. “Is there something strange/odd or otherwise unusual about this particular outfit?” Kai gulped as he withered slightly under the adorable, yet wrathful gaze of the goth-loli girl.

“Well, uh… it may not be… considered… regular attire?” He had to pick his words very carefully, she’d probably melt his brain with alicorn magic or something.

Much to his surprise, she just laughed as the waiter brought their pancakes. “Well, I don’t really mind. I like them and that’s all that matters really.” She turned and scowled at the other customers, which was just plain adorable. “So what’s our plan after this?”

“Well, we’ll take these books back to the library and you can get a few more if you want. I have about an hour and a half to get to work, so we’ll have to be quick about it.”

“Alright,” Twilight finished off the rest of her meal quite quickly, leaving Kai to just gape at the feat.

“What?” she said, noticing his odd stare.

“Nothing, just didn’t think a princess could be such a glutton~” Kai smirked and earned a scowl from his adorable companion.

“I am not a glutton! I was merely being efficient in order to make maximum use of our allotted time.”

“You just keep telling yourself that.” Kai chuckled. “Well since you’re done, let’s head to the library.”

Twilight nodded and once Kai paid the bill, they headed out, Kai was pushing the trolley full of books. It wasn’t long until they reached the library and Twilight couldn’t contain her excited squeal as she once again gazed upon the rows and rows of alien literature.

“Maybe we should just move in here huh?” Kai laughed, a laugh that was cut short when he saw the hopeful look in the girl’s eyes. “Um, I was kidding…”

“You don’t joke about something like that!” Twilight stated. “Hmm, but what kind of books should I get this time?” She looked around the aisles while Kai waited, checking his watch every now and then.

It soon came to the time where if they didn’t leave soon, Kai would be late for work. He glanced around, but his resident Princess had vanished. “Seriously? Where is she?” He eventually found her after some searching, having sequestered herself in a corner with several dozen books.

“Twilight?” Kai asked, but received no response. He walked closer until he was within arm’s reach. “Twilight!?” he said a little louder.

“Mm?” Her enthusiastic response could inspire millions.

“I have to go to work now, we have to leave.

“Mm…”

Kai sighed, “Would you like to stay here instead? I can pick you up later?”

“Mm.”

“You’re not even listening and I bet you’ll still be in the same spot when I come back huh?”

 “Mm.”

“…Your mother is a donkey.”

“Mm-hm,” her eyes never left the script on the pages she was reading.

Okay, this was getting annoying. He leaned in close and stared into her eyes for a moment. It was quite different, looking into human eyes rather than her much larger pony ones. They still held that beautiful amethyst sparkle though.

Her eyes flickered up slightly, wondering what was casting a shadow over her book, only to see Kai’s emerald eyes only a few scant inches from hers. She let out a surprised yelp and stumbled backwards, quite the feat given that she was sing at the time.

“W-what? What is it?” she asked hurriedly.

“I have to go to work,” Kai deadpanned. “Did you still want to come, or would you like to stay here and read?”

Twilight really had to think about that one. On one hoof, she was curious as to what Kai did for a living. But on the other hoof, Books! All the books!

“Um, ah… IdontknowwhatIshoulddoooooo!”

The librarian gave them the stink eye, and Kai just shrugged. “Look, as long as you promise to be careful, why don’t you just stay here and read?”

“But I also want to see what you do,” Twilight pouted.

“Trust me, it can be pretty boring.”

“No, just let me grab a few of these and I’ll come with you.”
…
…
And by a few books, she meant a little over a dozen. The librarian had given Twilight a backpack to put them in, and now the small girl was struggling to keep up with Kai as he hurried to work.

“This… would be so much easier if I could levitate it,” Twilight puffed. The backpack was quite heavy and she wasn’t used to carrying anything aside from Spike or her saddlebags around. Reliance on magic would be her downfall.

The weight suddenly vanished as Kai grabbed the bag, causing her to yelp in surprise.

“C’mon, we’ll be late at this point…” he slung the bag over his shoulder.

Twilight smiled and bowed politely. “Thank you Oh chivalrous knight,” she giggled. Kai just shook his head and the two made a break for the shopping arcade where his workplace was located.

It turns out that there was no need to rush after all. The store was practically empty when they arrived, Mike just slumped over the counter staring off into space.

“Really?” Kai asked, causing the guy the jump at the sudden sound. “Is there really nothing to do around here?”

“Naw man, public holiday remember. All the smart and lucky people are home getting drunk.”

Oh yeah, he wondered why most of the stores around town had been closed or opening late today. During his brief introspection, Mike had noticed Twilight standing next to Kai, peering around the store. She hadn’t gotten a good look around last time, given Kai’s rather brief visit.

“Oh hey there, ‘Kai’s little sis whose name I can’t remember’,” Mike laughed. “Whatcha doin’ here?”

“My name is Twilight,” the alicorn smiled. “And I’m spending the day with Kai today. I wanted to see where he works.”

“Gah! She’s so adorable!” Mike clutched at his heart. “And your name is Twilight? What, your folks a fan of those crappy vampire books?”

Twilight visibly shuddered when he mentioned that. Back on Equestria, somepony had written a series of appalling books about vamponies that shared her name. The facts had been highly inaccurate, the romance was clichéd and the story made Daring Do look like Shaky Spear! Her friends had teased her for weeks about it.

“So do you like video games?” Mike asked, snapping Twilight out of her thoughts.

“Um, they’re not bad I guess… but I’m not very good at them.” Kai had tried to lay a few games with her, but she had pretty much sucked at all of them.

“Well I’m bored, wanna play one?” Mike booted up the in store Xbox. “Have you played Halo?”

Twilight shook her head, “No, but I did notice that Kai owned it.”

As Kai got started on some leftover stock from yesterday, Mike set up Halo 4 and a deathmatch mode. “Well, this game is simple, just aim your gun at the other person and shoot. Easy!”

“Oh… kay?” Twilight was confused. She’d read about guns the other day, weapons made for killing that used high speed projectiles. This game wasn’t going to be much fun…
…
…
As Kai priced stock, he wasn’t paying too much attention to the other two, until Mike came over to the desk, grumbling.

“Seriously? She’s got to be cheating or something.”

Kai looked up and raised an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?”

“Your sister man, she’s evil!”

Kai tilted his head and looked over to Twilight, still standing near the game console… and the screen that read that she’d won flawlessly, 20 kills to nothing!

“That… can’t be right.” Kai looked back at Mike, he may not have been the best employee, but his skills at FPS games were not be taken lightly. Kai walked over to Twilight and looked down at her. “Did, you actually beat him?”

“Beat me?” Mike yelled out. “I’d be fine with her beating me, she FREAKING destroyed me!”

“I just did what he said!” Twilight exclaimed. “I just shot at his character, that’s all.”

Kai checked her stats, her accuracy was over ninety percent!?

“Okay, beginners luck maybe? Let me have a go.”
…
…
And in a dominating performance, Kai was flattened, rolled up and tossed aside. Twilight was utterly ruthless.

“Un-freakin-beliveable!” Kai said, putting down the controller. “You can’t play Tetris to save your life, but put a Needler in your hands and you’re a goddamn savant.”

“What can I say?” Twilight giggled. “Pwning noobs is magic!”

“Dude… did she just call us… noobs!?” Mike suddenly said in a very serious tone.

“I believe she did,” Kai replied, equally serious. “That cannot go unpunished.”

Twilight began to look a little nervous as both guys grabbed a controller. “Uh, guys…?”

“It. Is. ON!!” they said, logging into a 2-v-1 match.

 

*~*


 
“I can’t believe you killed me while I was off re-casting my spell!!” Twilight fumed as Kai closed up the store for the night. “That was a low blow Kai.”

“You won nineteen matches in a row! We at least had to get one in on you!” It was true, in twenty matches, Twilight had been killed about three times. It was really something else, several customers had challenged her as well, but all failed miserably. Kai had even joked that the first person to beat her would get half off any game in the store… None succeeded.

“I have about an hour and a half before the spell wears off,” Twilight pointed out. “And I don’t want to waste too much magic casting it again.”

“Alright, we’ll get something for dinner and then head home,” Kai replied, before coming across something rather interesting. Mike was sitting on a bench in the park they were walking through, just staring into space. Twilight waved to him and called out.

“Oh, hey guys,” he muttered when Twilight greeted him. “Sup?”

“Sup yourself?” Kai said. “Why are you just sitting there?”

“Well…” Mike smiled sheepishly. “My Dad’s gone to some manager’s meeting remember?”

Kai nodded, it was why he had been suddenly called back into work, despite being on vacation.

“Well, I kinda blew all my money and don’t have any food…”

Kai paused, blinked twice and facepalmed. “You’re kidding, you’re kidding right?”

“Nope!” Mike smiled broadly. “All I have left at home is tap water and Jatz biscuits.”

Kai groaned, how had this guy survived up until this point. “Argh! Fine, c’mon!” He motioned for Mike to follow him. “When’s the boss gonna be back?”

“Bout three days,” Mike said. Why?”

“Because I need to know how much food to buy,” Kai replied.

“…What?” Mike couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“Don’t argue, Kai replied hastily. “If you die of starvation, it means I have to train a new worker and that’s a hassle I don’t want to have to deal with.”

Twilight just smiled at him, Kai really was a nice person.

“Yeah, yeah…” Kai muttered as Mike clung to him. “Just don’t expect me to buy steak, that stuff’s expensive.”

 
After their shopping trip, Mike had been sent home with several bags of food, while Twilight hummed as they headed back to Kai’s apartment.

“And what are you so happy about?” Kai asked, while Twilight giggled.

“Oh, just basking in the knowledge that you’re a nice guy under that prickly exterior.”

Kai sighed, but a small smile crossed his face regardless. “Yeah well, I’m making him pay me back.”

“You can be kind and generous when you want to be, and you wouldn’t leave your friends hanging either.” Twilight held the door open as Kai hauled their groceries inside. “You could at least be honest with yourself every now and then.”

Kai laughed and ruffled her mane. “What are you, the Princes of Friendship now?”

Twilight’s smile vanished as her ears drooped. “Princess of Friendship? Not likely…” She hadn’t seen her friends in months, and she hadn’t made much effort to either. She had been busy as Archmage and figuring out her Alicorn powers, that she’d all but ignored her friends, the few that she had, and in return? They’d moved on with their own lives… Were they even friends anymore?

“Hey, you okay?” Kai said, kneeling down next to her. “Did I say something wrong?”

No, no you didn’t,” Twilight said, wiping her eyes. “Just remembering some old friends.”

“You really miss them huh?” Kai said and Twilight nodded, fresh tears running down her face.

“I… I wonder if they even realise that I’m missing,” Twilight sniffed. “And if they even care if they do!”

Kai put an arm over her shoulders and pulled her in close. “Hey, I can say that even after only knowing you for a few days, I don’t know what I’d do without you. Your friends have known you for years… they’re probably going out of their minds.”

Twilight stopped crying and looked at him. “Y-you’d really miss me?”

Kai suddenly blushed and looked away. “Yeah, well… who wouldn’t? I bet no-one else on Earth is friends with a talking purple pony Princess.”

“Heh…” Twilight giggled, already feeling better. “Thanks Kai, you seem to be pretty good at cheering me up. Heh, maybe it’s a special kind of Magic.”

“I try,” Kai smiled. Somehow, seeing a smile on Twilight’s face made him happy in return. “Now, let’s set aside talk of loyal friendships and whatnot and have some dinner shall we?”

 

*~*


 
Once more, the sacred chamber housed three Princesses and five mares wielding ancient artefacts. Celestia and Luna had spent days pouring over hundreds of spell tomes, most having never been seen by anypony else other than themselves.

“Will it work this time?” Rainbow asked. “Can we get Twilight back?”

Celestia sighed as she inscribed the last rune. “I’m not going to lie, our chances aren’t a hundred percent. But we will get her back from whatever horrors she is facing!”

“Ah just wish ah could go to wherever she was and buck whatever she’s fightin’ in the face!” Applejack remarked.

“Getting her back safe and sound is our priority!” Luna snapped. “Now get in position everypony!”

The eight mares formed a circle as the Elements hummed with power. The pool at the end of the room swirled and rippled as the water began to defy gravity, rising and forming a ring, the centre was a roaring arcane vortex.

O Elements of Harmony

Return to Us

A Friend that is Lost

To see her again, is Our Wish

We will Pay any Cost

 

*~*



Twilight sat in Kai’s living room, playing some Mass Effect multiplayer… and owning at that too, when she suddenly felt immensely nauseous. The controller fell to the floor as she tried to stand and fell back onto the floor with a loud thump. What the hay was going on?

“Is everything alright in there Twilight?” Kai called from the kitchen.

The Alicorn tried to answer, but the urge to throw up prevented that. Her horn suddenly felt like it was on fire as the room began to spin. Twilight could feel a massive amount of magical power building up, and she recognised the spell, but how was it possible?

Kai walked out into the living room, wondering why Twilight hadn’t answered him, only to see her staggering and her horn was shining brightly, sparks flying off in every direction.

Then, before he could even react, the floor just vanished, as a rippling pool appeared and Twilight and Kai shared one brief moment of eye contact before she fell through it, the portal closing up the second she vanished.

“Twilight? TWILIGHT!?” Kai rushed over to the spot where she had stood, but the floor had returned to normal, like nothing had ever happened.

“TWIILIIIIGHT!!!”

 

*~*



The sacred chamber once again exploded with magical power, throwing the occupants off of their hooves once more, but the three Alicorn’s had managed to remain standing this time, expecting the powerful backlash. Though, this time, something was different…

In the centre of the pool, its waters evaporated by the magical surge, was an unconscious lavender Alicorn.

“We did it,” Celestia sighed from exhaustion and happiness. “We saved her…”

> Equestria Bound.
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Equestria Bound



Twilight’s friends had all gathered outside the room that held their still unconscious friend. It had been three days since she was returned to them but had yet to wake up.

“Is she ever gonna wake up?” Rainbow asked, her scratchy voice filled with worry. “What if that monster in the other world did something to her?”

“Ooh, like what if it had a buncha tentacles and it-Mmmph!” Pinkie was cut off as Rainbow shoved a hoof in her mouth.

“You need to stop reading those weird Neighponese comics!” the Pegasus snapped.

The conversation was cut short when the door clicked and Luna and Celestia emerged from the room, several medics trailing behind them.

“Your Highnesses!” Rarity bowed, quickly followed by the rest. “How is Twilight, will she be alright?”

Celestia nodded to the medics and they left the Alicorn’s alone with the five mares. Once they were gone, Celestia’s expression dropped and the ancient Alicorn suddenly looked so much older.

“It is all my fault,” she lowered her head in apology. “I am the reason that Twilight lies in a coma now.”

“Nay Sister, the blame lies with Us as well,” Luna added. “If only we had studied the spell more…”

“Blame game aside, what happened?” Applejack asked and Celestia flinched.

“In order to return Twilight, we tried to reverse the spell that she used to disappear in the first place…”

“And it worked,” Rainbow pointed out, “So what’s the problem?”

“The problem, Element of Loyalty,” Luna said, her tone lacking it usual sharpness. “Is that we, how do you ponies put it these days…? Ah, yes. We screwed up!”

Celestia nodded in agreement. “The spell Twilight used created a wormhole, using a multilayer spell matrix and…” The confused looks on the others faces told her she needed to simplify her wording a bit “She created a magical corridor so she could teleport further.”

“Ohhh,” the five mares all echoed.

“Indeed, but what we didn’t realise was that the wormhole possessed a current, like a river. So when we re-opened it, the current was still moving away from Equestria… and we forcibly dragged Twilight against it to bring her home.”

“So how does that relate to her… condition?” Rarity asked.

“What it means, Element of Generosity,” Luna stated. “Is that we tapped into Twilight’s magic to reactivate this spell. By dragging her against the magical current, we burned out her magical circuits, the neural pathways that allow her, allow all magical users to cast spells.”

Celestia swallowed the lump in her throat. “If Twilight Sparkle ever wakes up, there is the chance that she will never be able to use magic again…”

The hallway fell dead silent as the five friends processed that information. Magic is who Twilight was, if she couldn’t cast…?

“S-so, what you’re trying to say…” Rainbow croaked out, her voice hitching as she tried to spit out the words. “By saving Twilight… we’ve ruined her life forever.”

“The fault does not lie with you!” Celestia snapped. “It will fall onto Luna and myself, and when Twilight wakes, we will tell her as such. It is better that she resents us, rather than all of you.”

“But it’s still our fault too,” Fluttershy spoke up. “We can’t lie to her like that.”

“T’aint right, lyin’ to a friend…” Applejack said quietly. She looked at the Alicorn’s with a pleading expression. “Isn’t there anything we can do?”

Celestia sighed and shook her head. “Perhaps if we had the Element of Magic, but the artefact is missing. It did not return with Twilight, so I can only assume it was left behind or lost in the wormhole…”

“We must prepare for the worst possible outcome,” Luna said. “Should Twilight awaken… we will need to be there for her.”

 

*~*


 
Three days. It had been three days since Twilight vanished from Kai’s apartment, leaving only the memories of her time there. At first, Kai had thought that she had teleported somewhere else, and spent all night and most of the next day scouring the city for any trace of her. He had kept an eye out for any news broadcast, hoping that she would turn up somewhere…

But she didn’t.

He’d briefly thought that she’d just had enough and left, but he’d quickly dismissed that notion. Twilight wouldn’t do something like that. They were friends…

But after three days, he was beginning to doubt that she would return. He wondered that maybe he’d gone nuts and the whole thing was just a hallucination. I mean, a talking purple unicorn from another dimension? That sounded crazy…

But when Mike and other regular customers from work had asked where the little goth loli girl had gone… It was just too much.

He trudged home slowly, the apartment block was within sight. The old hobo that usually camped out front waved to him as he walked by.

“Are you prepared for the end?” he asked and Kai looked at him.

“The end might as well come, life sucks now anyway…” Kai simply replied and headed upstairs. He unlocked his door, switched off his phone and collapsed onto his bed. He turned his head and something caught his eye, stuck in between the bedsheets. It was a purple feather.

“Twilight…” he picked up the object and stared at it, his mind wandering to the brief time he’d spent with his unusual housemate.

“Gee, it sure is lonely in here huh?” The sudden voice from the end of the bed caused Kai to jump and he looked up, seeing the homeless Doomsday prophet standing at the foot of his bed.

“Phil…” Kai said slowly, “What are you doing in here?” This could be a potentially dangerous situation, especially when Kai noticed Phil’s eyes. They were a bright yellow colour with deep crimson iris.

“Not much,” the old man replied jovially. “I was just wondering how you were doing. You look like you’re really missing your little pony pal.”

Kai froze, how the hell did he know about Twilight?

“So tell me Mr. Kai, would you like to see her again?” Phil smiled widely.

Okay, this had gone from weird and caught the express train to Creepytown. “Phil?” Kai backed up slowly, but refused to break eye contact. “What are you talking about?”

“Phil, ooh, now I see.” The old man waved a hand dismissively. “Don’t worry, Phil’s taking a little nap. I just want to tell you that you really should go to Twilight, she needs your help.”

Was weird the new normal now? Well, might as well play along for the moment. Who knows how long until the old kook went all serial killer on him. “Okay ‘Phil’,” Kai said, making air quotes. “Exactly how do I get to Equestria? Do I catch a plane, or is there a magical portal in my living room?”

“Something like that,” Phil grinned. “You have to use that gag-inducing Magic of Friendship rubbish. I know it’s cheesy, but that’s how it works, at least this time.”

What. The. Fuuuuuck!? What was this guy on? Just who the hell was he?

“Who am I?” ‘Phil’ laughed, and Kai put a hand to his head. “Yes, I’m reading your mind and you really should tell Twilight those thoughts you’re having, her expression will be priceless~” Phil’s expression turned serious. “Look, you have to go to Equestria and save your Princess, she’s in another castle and won’t wake up without you… well, that’s a big, cake-flavoured lie, she’ll wake up on her own, but it will be better if you get there beforehand.”

“Okay, say I believe you, and I’m dubious at best…” Kai replied dryly. “How do I even get here, I lack a horn and Princess magic!”

“Twilight left a little something here, something important. I could take it back, but it would be so much more fun if you do it.” Phil beamed again and put a hand on Kai’s shoulder. “It’s dangerous to go alone… but you have to, so best of luck and whatnot.” Phil snapped his fingers and disappeared in a bright flash of light, leaving Kai to question his sanity.

“Okay, that was… weird…” Kai walked into his living room, wondering just what it was that Twilight could have left here that he could use. And then something glimmering on his shelf caught his attention. When he pulled it down, his eyes widened, it was her Element thingy!

“Is this it?” Kai stared at the ornate tiara. “How am I supposed to use it?”

He stared intently at it for a few moments, then looked at it from every angle, wondering if it had an on switch.

“Well, I highly doubt I have to collect all seven and make a wish,” Surely he didn’t have to… well, as long as no one saw him. He placed the tiara on his head and concentrated. “Okay Element, take to Equestria!” He flung his arms out… aaaand nothing. He was still in his apartment, rather than a world filled with colourful little equines.

“Magic of Friendship my foot!” Kai grumbled. “Bit hard when my only friend is worlds away.”

His phone rang, which was rather surprising since he was certain that he’d switched it off. The caller ID confirmed that it was Mike calling him.

He answered and Mike’s exuberant voice came through the speaker. “Heya Kai, I heard you were gonna go and find little Twiley!”

“Uhh…” How the hell did he know that?

“Some weird dude in a mismatched suit told me. So I just wanted to say don’t worry about your job. I’ll tell Bossman that you had to go overseas for a family thing. Just find her okay?”

Kai was stunned, when the hell did this happen? Were he and Mike… friends?

“Uh, yeah… thanks man.”

“No pro bro!” the phone clicked and for the first time in days, Kai found himself smiling. It was at that moment that the Element of Magic hummed and shone with magenta light.

Kai felt… well, he wasn’t quite sure how to describe it. It kind of felt like he was stretching and floating at the same time. And then his stomach felt like it was turning inside out as his world faded into black…

 

*~*


 
It had been a rough day. The doctors had performed every kind of test imaginable, yet Twilight Sparkle refused to awaken. Her friends' worry only increased and now the five mares tried to get some sleep, but even that eluded them. They had been given a few rooms to sleep in while they stayed at the castle and arrangements had been made for time off for those that had jobs to get back to.

Rarity Belle tossed and turned, but sleep was an impossible order to fill and she soon found herself staring into Pinkie Pie’s bright blue eyes.

“Whatever is the matter darling?” Rarity asked. “You cannot sleep either?”

Pinkie sat up and shook her head. “Uh-huh, I have a real bad feeling all of a sudden.”

“Your ‘Pinkie Sense’?” Rarity asked, also sitting up and turning on the bedside lamp.

“I don’t know,” Pinkie replied, her mane lacking its usual poofiness. “But I get the feeling that we’ve made a really bad mistake, like when I mix up the salt and sugar or when I try to make taffy in the blender, or when-”

“I get the idea,” Rarity giggled, placing a hoof over Pinkie’s. “But what in Equestria makes you think that? Is it because Twilight won’t wake up?”

“A little,” Pinkie replied. “But, but what if Twi-Twi wasn’t in danger? What if she was actually happy, and we separated her from a dear friend or something?”

“Dear, you heard the same things we did.” Rarity hugged her marefriend close. “What makes you think that dear?”

“I dunno… just a feeling,” Pinkie sighed. “I hope Twilight gets better soon.”

“As do I darling, as do I.”

~~~

Celestia and Luna sat quietly in the solar Alicorn’s study. Night Court had been cancelled and the two poured over scrolls and tomes, hoping to find a solution to this mess. The Elements of Harmony that sat on the table suddenly quivered and the jewels in them began to pulse with a rhythmic light.

“Sister?” Lune poked the sleepy Alicorn. “Something is happening and I didn’t do it!”

“Hmm?” Celestia rubbed her eyes, and then let out a surprised shriek as the Elements flew off the table, narrowly missing her head and shot off down the hall.

“What the, Luna, what did you do?”

“I didn’t do it!” Lune cried as they chased the wayward jewels. The noise soon attracted the attention of the five Bearers, all of whom suddenly had an odd feeling that something was off. The emerged from their rooms, just in time to see the two sisters chasing the flying Elements.

“Well, that’s something ya don’t see every day,” Applejack muttered.

“Are we playing ‘Chase the Elements’?” Pinkie asked. “Cause I’m not really in the mood right now…”

“Um, don’t you think we should follow them?” Fluttershy suggested. The other four nodded and soon chased after the Elements and Princesses, heading for the Sacred Chamber.

 

*~*


 
With a loud ‘pop’ and a thud, Kai landed on a hard marble floor, his immediate reaction was to almost throw up. He fell over as he attempted to stand and then chose to lie there for a moment as the room stopped spinning.

“Oh god, what the hell was that?” he put a hand to his head and tried to slow his heart, which was racing a mile a minute. When he did, he felt the Element of Magic still sitting atop his head, it was warm to the touch and seemed to beat with a steady light.

“W-where am I?” He slowly looked around, trying not to aggravate his migraine. The room he was in was enormous, a semi-circular room lined with massive marble pillars, though one of them seemed to be broken. A pool was placed at the back of the room, just behind him and there seemed to be a star-shaped scorch mark on its tiled surface. Beautiful stained-glass windows adorned the walls, high above his head and were illuminated softly in the moonlight.

“W-what…?” he looked at his watch, but the digital display was cracked and he couldn’t read it. 

“Urgh, I feel like crap…” He slowly got to his feet and after a swooning for a moment, finally found his centre of balance.

“Okay, am I in Equestria? If so, then where’s Twilight?” As if responding to his question, the Element on his head began to pulsate once more and as Kai moved around, the pulse got either slower or faster.

“Do… do I have a Twilight radar?” he poked at the tiara and after taking it off, he noticed the light still shone rhythmically. “Well, okay, this got a little easier.” He walked over to the large doors and just as he got to them, The Element shone and the doors swung open, their magic seal released.

“Twilight radar and magical lock pick… this thing is pretty awesome!” Kai smiled. “Okay, priorities, find Twilight now, play with magical artefact later.”

He walked through the door and into the darkened hallway, but it didn’t remain that way for long. A glow from some sort of light was quickly approaching from the left.

“Okay decision time, those might be ponies coming and I dunno if they’re gonna be friendly or not.” Should he stay and see what it was, or should he make a break for it in the opposite direction.

The muffled voices approaching sure as hell didn’t sound friendly.

“Yup, time to cheese it!” he bolted down the hall, as the Element in his hands beat faster…

 

*~*


 
By the time the Elements stopped, the six mares had realised that they’d been brought back to the Sacred Chamber.

“What the? Why’d the Elements stop here?” Rainbow asked, watching the necklaces spin in a circle in the centre of the room. Celestia lit up her horn and then gasped.

“Powerful magic was cast here, Elements of Harmony powerful.”

“Sister, does that mean Magic has returned?” Luna’s own scrying found that it was indeed an Element. Having been hit first hoof with them twice meant that she would never forget what their aura felt like.

“But how did it come back?” Rarity asked. “Surely the Element didn’t just show up on its own? And if it did… where is it?”

The room was empty, only trace amounts of magic remained in the air.

“I fear that wherever Twilight was, something may have followed her back and may be in possession of the Element of Magic.” Celestia fired up her horn and sent a message to her Guards to place Canterlot Castle under high alert. All servants were to remain in their chambers and lock the doors. Also, a detachment was to go to the Infirmary and place Princess Twilight under heavy Guard.

“Sister, we should split up and search the castle, whatever was here was only here only recently,” Luna suggested.

Celestia nodded and sent one last message to Princess Cadence and Shining Armor. She might need their assistance also. She looked at the five mares, whom had remained silent till now.

“Take your Elements, my little ponies. And be prepared for anything.” The mares nodded and soon donned their necklaces. Just what in Equestria was going on?

 

*~*


 
Well, Kai hadn’t expected to trip an alarm so soon, but the castle was now buzzing with activity. He’d taken cover behind a tapestry on the wall as yet another detachment of guards marched past. From the bits and pieces of conversation he’d picked up, they didn’t know what they were looking for, only that there was an intruder.

“Well, I stick out like a sore thumb here… and oh my god. So. Many. Ponies!” There was a sudden rush of wind and Kai pinched the tapestry to prevent it being blown away and revealing his hiding spot. From the side he caught  glimpse of a blue Pegasus with a rainbow-coloured mane and tail. She looked familiar…

Wait, wasn’t that one of Twilight’s friends? Rainbow Crash or something? Maybe Twilight really was here.

The Guards finally left and after checking to see if the coast was clear, Kai continued to sneak down the maze of halls, letting the Element guide his way. The sudden noise of incoming guards forced him to look for another hiding spot though. There was door that led into a massive kitchen and a quick check led him to a massive cardboard box.

“This couldn’t possibly work… could it?” The sound of the kitchen doors opening led him with little choice. “Well, why not?” He dived into the box, only just fitting inside and he was suddenly hit with the overwhelming scent of apples.

Flash Step, fastest Earth Pony guard, thought she heard something coming from the kitchen, but once she looked inside, all she could see was an empty workspace and a box from Fritter Farms here in Canterlot.

“Seriously, who’d be dumb enough to break into the palace anyway?” she took an apple from the counter and munched on it. “And this is supposed to be my night off.” She leaned on the box and it sagged inwards with a groan.

Flash suddenly jumped back… did that box just make a noise. She unsheathed her spear and then, very carefully, poked the box, causing it to yelp and bounce.

“A-alright, you better come out of there with your hooves up!” she spoke loudly. “And no casting either!”

There was a loud sigh and the top of the box opened and a creature unlike any other emerged from it, its arms raised in the air… and it was holding the Element of Magic.

“All I’m missing is an exclamation mark,” he said. Well, assuming from the tone of its voice it was a male.  “I need to ask where Princess Twilight is… it’s really important that I give this to her.”

“W-w-what are you!?” Flash raised her spear. “And what do you want with the Princess!?”

“We’re friends,” he spoke calmly, but his gaze never left the spear. “It’s really important that I get this Element to Princess Twilight, can you please help me?”

Flash Step took a single step forward. Sure, she was new to the job, but she took an oath to protect the Princesses of Equestria from any threat. “You didn’t answer my question creature! What are you and why do you have the Princess' Element?” She needed to hold him here until reinforcements or Princess Celestia could arrive.

“Like I said, I’m a friend of Princess Twilight. As for what I am, I’m a human. My name’s Kai… what’s yours?”

Was this ‘human’ thing for real? “Flash Step,” the mare replied curtly, wondering why she even responded.

“Flash Step? I bet you’re pretty fast then?” Kai laughed and the mare gave him an incredulous stare. “What?”

“H-how did you know that?” she asked and the creature suddenly blinked, groaned and slapped his face with his palm.

“I have landed in a world of references and no-one even gets them,” he muttered. “Look, I promise that I’m not here to hurt Twilight, I want to help her… you can even come with me if you want.”

Flash thought about this… there was a detachment of guards waiting at the infirmary. Even if something happened to her, then he’d still walk straight into them.

“Alright, but I want you where I can see you.”

“Cool, and can I put my arms down… I’m getting a bit tired here.”

“…Fine, but hand me the Element, I don’t want any funny business.”

Kai really didn’t want to do that, but the cute little pony was pointing a very sharp-looking spear at him. He glanced at the Element and then handed it over. A second after it left his grasp, it flashed and re-appeared on his head.

“I thought I said no funny stuff!” Flash Step yelled, raising her spear again.

“I didn’t do it,” Kai yelled back. “Honest!” He placed the Element on a bench top and walked a few steps away, only for it to re-appear once again on his noggin.

“I just don’t get magic,” the both of them muttered and then looked at each other, a small smile breaking out between them.

“Sounds like you’ve had your fair share of magical-related hijinks,” Flash asked as they walked.

“How do you think I met Twilight in the first place?” Kai sighed. “Weird is my new normal apparently.”

“Hah! Try being the only Earth Pony in a family of Unicorns… that seriously sucked,” Flash Step giggled.

“That sounds rough,” Kai nodded. Flash Step agreed and then paused. What the hay was she doing? Was she trying to make friends with this thing?

“Hey Flash? Are you coming?” She looked up to see the human waiting for her. Well, he seemed friendly, maybe he wasn’t so bad? She’d still keep an eye on him though, if he tries to hurt anypony, then he dies…

> Friends, Old and New.
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“…And then that’s when Twilight simply vanished!” Kai finished recounting his days with Twilight to his new friend, the Royal Guard, Flash Step.

“I had no idea the Princess was on such an adventure, I will admit that even I am a little curious about your world now,” Flash smiled. After some conversation, Flash had come to the conclusion that this whole debacle was a giant misunderstanding. “I just hope we can sort everything out with the other Princesses.”

Flash had told Kai a little about herself too, like how she’d come from a long line of Royal Guard, but she was the first Earth Pony to be born in their clan for several generations. As such, the pressure to excel was really piled on. She had brothers and sisters that had all become outstanding members of the Guard, but despite graduating with honors and already holding the rank of Lieutenant, it did seem to be good enough for her parents and siblings.

“Geez, that sounds rough,” Kai said. “Who knew family life could be so hard?”

“What about you?” Flash asked. “I bet you have some interesting family stories.”

Kai shook his head as his pace slowed a little. “My family… passed away some time ago.”

Flash paused and put a hoof to her mouth. “O-oh, I’m… I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, it happened a long time ago.” Kai smiled at the mare. “Now, let’s go find Twilight shall we, Miss Step.”

“Just call me Flash okay?” the Guard nodded. This was an odd night, making friends with an alien and all.

As they rounded the last corner and walked into the corridor that held the infirmary, quite the sight awaited Kai. Several dozen Guards, all wearing armour and all carrying sharpened weapons waited for the ‘intruder’.

“Uh, Flash?” Kai said warily. “They don’t look very friendly.”

The Guards charged at him, “Subdue and Restrain boys!” the lead one ordered.

Kai’s fight or flight instinct kicked in. Should he fight against this horde and save Twilight? One unarmed human against the odds to rescue his Princess!

“Nope!” Kai turned and bolted down the hallway, hopefully he could lose them and double back or something. Unfortunately, ponies were a lot faster than humans, especially humans who spent most of their time sitting at home playing videogames and reading.

But, Kai had an ace up his sleeve that even he didn’t know he had. Flash Step stood in-between him and the Guard.

“Stand down! There has been a big misunderstanding!”

The Guards paused, but didn’t lower their weapons.

“Stand aside Lieutenant, we have orders from Princes Celestia herself to apprehend the intruder!”

“And the Princess is wrong about this!” Flash argued. “Please, if you could just-”There was a magical ‘pop’ and Princess Celestia, Luna and the Elements of Harmony appeared in the hall, on the opposite side of Kai. The hapless human was now sandwiched in between a legion of armed Guards and two more Princesses, along with some familiar-looking mares.

“Today is seriously not my day,” Kai muttered.

“Sister?” Luna asked, pointing at Kai. “What on Equus is that!?”

“I… I do not know,” Celestia responded. “I have never seen anything like it before.”

Rainbow Dash glared at him, “Well whatever it is, it’s got Twilight’s Element!” Her wings flared and she launched to tackle the strange creature, but Applejack grabbed her tail, holding the hot-headed mare back.

Celestia and Luna looked, indeed the creature seemed to be holding the Element of Magic in it hands. Just how had it gotten a hold of it?

“Okay, everyone needs to calm down and listen,” Kai said slowly. “I can explain.”

“That voice,” Applejack said, letting go of Rainbow Dash. “It’s the one we heard before, the one attackin’ Twahlight!”

“Attacking?” Flash Step looked at Kai, he never attacked Princess Twilight, not according to him anyway. But if he didn’t, the why would the Element of Honesty say he did?

Kai suddenly found himself floating off of the ground, his body wrapped in an azure glow. The blue Alicorn stepped forward, her eyes blazing with magical might.

“Any last words, monster!” she said with a growl. Kai began to panic, how was he going to get out of this?

“Princess Luna! Put! Him! Down!” the sudden voice caused everyone to turn and they saw Twilight leaning against the doorframe. She looked exhausted, but she was awake and glaring daggers at the lunar diarch.

“Twilight!” her friends cheered, glad to see that she was awake, but the purple Alicorn didn’t return the sentiment. Her stern gaze remained locked onto Luna until the alicorn lowered the captive human to the floor.

Twilight stumbled over to him, almost falling but Kai caught her before she could hit the ground.

“Twilight? Are you alright? What happened to you?”

“You happened!” Luna yelled. “Twilight has been through a terrible ordeal-”

“Actually, you may be wrong there Princess Luna,” Flash Step spoke up as both Princesses turned their gaze to her, Luna opting to keep her wrathful glare. To Flash’s merit, she didn’t back down. “I mean no disrespect of course.”

Rarity snorted, “Will somepony please explain what is happening? I am missing my beauty sleep because of this!”

“Aw, you don’t need that,” Pinkie giggled. “You’re plenty pretty!”

“Thank you darling, and you will get many snuggles later for that, but right now I think a coherent, uninterrupted explanation is in order!”

“I agree with Miss Rarity,” Celestia finally spoke. She leant down to check on Twilight, but earned a fierce glare from Kai. Chuckling lightly and opting to move back a space, she smiled warmly at the human. “May I ask who and what you are? And how is it that you know Twilight?”

“My name is Kai and as for how I know Twilight here… That’s a long story,” Kai said, warily eyeing the massive Alicorn. “I’ll be happy to explain everything, but right now I want to make sure Twilight is okay.” He looked at the mare in his arms and ran his fingers delicately through her mane. “Hey Pony Princess, are you alright?”

Twilight opened her eyes, but she looked ready to pass out again at any moment. “Yes… but, what… are you doing here?” she managed to ask, her voice was hoarse and cracked. “How are you even here?”

Kai smiled as he took the Element of Magic and placed it on Twilight’s head. “I guess you can chalk it up to friendship. I heard you were in trouble and came to help… didn’t expect to almost be killed by a bunch of cute ponies though.”

“Happens,” Twilight half smiled. The Element of Magic began to glow with a soft light, almost like it was happy to be reunited with its true partner. The other Elements soon followed and the gentle, pulsing energy washed over the Alicorn, her pained frown disappearing and a weary, yet satisfied smile replacing it.

“What the?” What in the hay was that?” Applejack asked as the Element around her neck finally stopped. “What did we just do?”

Celestia’s horn lit up as she stepped closer to Twilight. She looked at Kai, “May I?” she asked gently. Kai paused and then nodded as Celestia examined her. After a moment she pulled away and smiled.

“I’m not sure how, but her magic circuits have been repaired,” Celestia informed the group, who all breathed a sigh of relief.

“T’would seem the Elements still have secrets unknown, even to Us,” Luna said.

 “Indeed,” Celestia replied. She had no idea that the Elements of Harmony could heal injuries. 

“But Twilight is still exhausted and must rest.” She looked down at the human cradling Twilight. “Mr. Kai? Was it?”

Kai nodded, “And you’re Celestia right?”

Celestia gave him a polite smile “That’s correct, would you mind carrying Twilight to her bed. I would levitate her, but I don’t want to expose her to direct forms of magic like that just yet, to be on the safe side.”

Kai nodded and picked Twilight up, “At least she’s light. And what about that brain scan spell? You used that on her.”

“Something like that should be fine. All I did was feel for latent magic emanating from her.” Celestia gave her sleeping student a warm smile. “She really is quite adorable when she’s sleeping~”

“She is,” Kai agreed and then blushed when Celestia giggled. “Okay, well uh, I’ll get her to bed then shall I?”

Once Kai carried Twilight into the infirmary, Applejack just shook her head. “Okay, is anypony else really confused with this here situation?”

“I am at a loss myself, fair Applejack,” Luna replied. “What is it you see in him Celestia?”

“Well, I’d think it would be fairly obvious, but I believe young Flash Step here saw it before any of us.” All eyes suddenly turned to the Guardsmare and she cringed under the focused gaze.

“Uh… yes?” she asked timidly.

“Sorry, but I don’t get it!” Rainbow said, folding her forehooves as she flapped lazily a few feet off the ground. “Can somepony please explain? I’m tired, can’t brain, think is broken.”

“It is late,” Celestia noted as Kai re-emerged. “Perhaps we should save this conversation for the morning?”

“Agreed,” Rainbow, Rarity and Pinkie echoed.

“And him?” Luna motioned to Kai. “What do we do with him?”

“I have a name you know,” Kai grumbled, but Luna either didn’t hear him or didn’t care… maybe both.

Celestia turned to Kai, “We shall place you in a guest room, but I’m afraid that I must insist for a Guard or two to be placed outside your room.”

Much to her surprise, Kai nodded. “Sounds fair, I popped up outta nowhere, so your apprehension is understandable. I’m feeling really tired all of a sudden…”

“Given what you did, that is understandable.” Celestia turned to the other ponies. “All of you should go back to bed, and Lt. Flash Step?”

“Yes, Your Majesty?” Flash saluted.

“I trust that you can keep an eye on Mr. Kai’s room until morning?”

Flash grinned, but quickly replaced it with a professional nod. “Of course Your Highness!”
Princess Celestia smiled and let out a delicate yawn. “Well then, until the morrow my little ponies, oh, and one not-so-little human.”

Kai just chuckled, maybe Equestria wasn’t so bad after all.

 

*~*


 
Despite the fact that he was in another world! Kai didn’t have trouble falling asleep. For some reason, he felt absolutely exhausted. But he wasn’t alone, for the moment he closed his eyes and began to drift off, he suddenly found himself back in his apartment.

“Wait… what?” he looked around, but no matter how unlikely it as, it was his apartment. “W-was all that a dream? I didn’t go to Equestria?”

“Oh, no, you went to Equestria alright.” The curt tone rang out in the silence. Kai spun to see a blue Alicorn behind him, one much larger than Twilight.

“Oh? I remember you!” Kai said. “You tried to kill me!”

“Yes, well…” Luna offered no apologies. “Let’s move past that shall we?”

“No, I believe that’s something that require an apology,” Kai stated. “One simply does not try to murder and not apologise later. It’s common courtesy.”

“WE WILL NOT APOLOGISE TO SOMEPONY LIKE YOU!” Her voice rattled the apartment and caused Kai to stagger back.

Much to his credit, a small smirk crossed his face. “Well, good thing I’m not a pony then.”

Luna gave him a rather incredulous look. “W-what?”

“You said ‘somepony’, I’m not a pony.” The smugness was so damned thick you could have cut it with a knife.

“I-I don’t even…” For the first time, Luna was at a loss on what to say. It didn’t last long though. 
“We should peel your mind like an orange!” she roared.

“But then you wouldn’t be able to ask me what you want,” Kai replied. To be perfectly honest, he was freaking terrified. This pony had a three foot spear on her freaking forehead and god knows what magic she could use.

“You… you’re quite different to what I normally deal with.” Luna looked around his abode, “So where are we anyhow? Some sort of hovel?”

“I happen to live here and Twilight found it quite comfortable,” Kai retorted defensively. “How are we even here? Did you teleport us here?”

“What, oh, you haven’t realised it yet?” Luna’s horn shone and the walls of the building peeled away, revealing an endless grassy field. “This is the realm of Dreams, one of my domains as the Princess of the Night.”

“So this is a dream?” Kai asked, poking at one of his figures. It responded to his touch, but he didn’t feel anything. “Weird…”

“Have you never experienced a lucid dream before?” Luna asked. “Well, never mind.” She gazed at the apartment again as it returned to normal. “Just how did Twilight Sparkle wind up here?”

“To be honest, I have no idea.” Kai sat on his couch, kinda wishing he had a cola. “I was simply sitting here and she popped outta thin air. My life got plenty more interesting after that.”

“I can imagine,” Luna chuckled. He didn’t seem like a threat, perhaps the Alicorn was worrying over nothing. “I want to know… why were you fighting with Twilight Sparkle?”

“Fighting?” Kai asked and Luna’s horn lit up once more and voices appeared out of nowhere.

“You’ll not beat me again villain!” Twilight’s voice rang out.

“Muahahaha! You always lose and you will lose again Princess!” That was clearly Kai. Sounds of fighting could be heard. “And I am victorious one more!” Kai’s voice said as Twilight let out a scream.

Kai frowned as he searched his memories. As he did, time in the apartment seemed to wind back until a scene played out, one of him and Twilight playing Street Fighter. The scene played out, along with the exact same words that Luna had just played.

Luna just stared. “T-this… surely this cannot be true!?”

“Well, if we’re really in my head, then I don’t see how it couldn’t be…” Kai’s eyes widened as his mouth made an ‘o’ shape. “Wait! Is this why you’re all so angry at me? Because you thought I was beating up Twilight!?”

Luna just nodded meekly. And to her total surprise, Kai began to laugh, which got harder until he fell off of the couch.

“Ahhahaaa, ooh god, I can’t breatheeeaaahhhahahahaaa!”

“We do not see the amusement in this… blunder,” Luna pouted, a fierce blush adorning her cheeks.

It took a few minutes, but Kai finally calmed down enough to speak again, but a small chuckle escaped every now and then.

Luna looked like she’d eaten a lemon. “So, how did you cross the boundaries that separate our worlds? I don’t sense enough magic coming from you to teleport six inches, let alone across dimensions. Our sister seems to know something, but she will not divulge the information.”

“Hmm, well…” Kai thought about it. “No spoilers. Aren’t we going to discuss that tomorrow?”

 “Y-you are insufferably infuriating… yet strangely interesting.” Luna nodded to herself. “Yes, tomorrow then, you shall reveal all.” The apartment began to fade away, Luna smiled. “But I fear that Twilight Sparkle will be quite angry with Us, perhaps you could… calm her?”

“So you want me to do you a solid?” Kai smirked and Luna suddenly felt like she’d struck a deal with Tirek himself. “Okay, but you’ll owe me~” And with that, Kai fell into a dreamless sleep.

 

*~*


 
As the morning sun rose, Kai woke to the sound of his room door knocking.

“Argh, too early…” he groaned, he had a massive headache for some reason, was it because of Luna’s little ‘visit’? The knocking persisted and he eventually gave in. “Come in!” he called out and then put a hand to his head. Yelling? Not the best idea.

Flash Step opened the door and trotted in, looking quite chipper for somepony being up all night.

“Good Mor-” Her greeting was cut off when she received a pillow to the face. “Ah, what was that for!?”

“For waking me up so damned early,” Kai grumbled, burying his face in his remaining pillow. “Do you have any idea what time it is?”

“Seven thirty five,” Flash stated. “Now, you should get up and shower, the Princesses are waiting for you in the dining hall.”

“Princesses…? Oh right, I forgot where I was for a moment there.”

“And yet you’re here, throwing pillows at the Guard that kept you safe all night,” Flash Step huffed. “Some friend you are.”

“All night? You’ve been awake all night!?” Kai looked up at her. Now that he was feeling more awake, he could see that despite her chipper tone, faint rings were forming under her eyes and her posture was a little slack. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“Well, I was ordered to, so I didn’t have much of a choice really.” Flash Step yawned, which ended with a cute squeak as she put a hoof to her mouth. “You didn’t see that.”

“I did, and you should get some sleep,” Kai said as he headed into the bathroom.

“My shift ends soon,” Flash informed him. “Then I get eight hours of sleep before I go back and do this aaaaalll over again!” she yawned once more. “Night guard sucks.”

“I hear that,” Kai called out from the other room. “I worked the occasional late shift at work, I firmly believe that night brings out the crazies.”

“HAH! Until you meet Discord, you have not known crazy.” Flash shuddered slightly, remembering her first day on the job. The Mad God had taken it upon himself to prank any and all Guards on their first day… Flash Step was a proud Earth Pony, so spending the day as a Unicorn with an ice-cream cone for a horn was more than a little embarrassing. Especially when said horn spurted ice cream whenever she got flustered.

After a few minutes, Kai was showered and Flash was escorting him to the dining hall. And once they got there… well to say the atmosphere was oppressive was a bit of an understatement. Princess Celestia and Princes Luna sat at the head of the table, while the five mares from last night were also present. There was also a pink Alicorn and a white Unicorn that Kai didn’t recognise.

“That’s Princess Cadence and Prince Shining Armor, from the Crystal Empire,” Flash whispered. “The Prince is Princess Twilight’s older brother.”

“Huh,” Kai looked, but really didn’t see the resemblance. As they got closer, the others finally noticed them and were greeted with a mixture of expressions. Both Luna and Celestia wore smiles, while the Element Bearers had what appeared to be relief?

Cadence wore an expression of curiosity, while Shining looked quite stoic, but his steeled gaze never left the human.

“Still, why does it feel so tense in… here?” Kai looked at the opposite end of the table and receive the answer to his question.

Twilight Sparkle sat there, tired-looking, but more than anything? She looked pissed!

Her back leg tapped the floor repeatedly while a fierce scowl sat staring at the other occupants of the table, all of whom refused to meet the angry Alicorns’ eyes.

But all that changed when she saw Kai walk in. The frown reversed into a smile a she got off of her cushion and ran over to him, Kai was almost knocked to the ground when he caught her, he was still a bit winded though.

“Oof! Nice to see you to,” he chuckled. He looked at the rest of the party, “So what’s up with them? You thrash them at Halo or something?”

Twilight pulled back and cleared her throat. “No, they have just been made to understand that I am rather upset at the moment.” Though her voice was still a bit scratchy, it felt so cold that Kai shivered a bit.

“Well uh, I’m glad to see that you’re alright?” he said, ruffling her mane. “You had me worried there for a while.”

Twilight nodded and led him over to the table, levitating a cushion over next to hers for him to sit on. Kai frowned and poked her head, “Hey, should you really be using magic?”

“I’ve been unconscious for three and a half days, and then woke up last night unable to feel my magic!” That last part was directed entirely at the other Alicorns. “The doctors said as long as I take it easy, then I should be back to normal in a few days.”

Kai looked around the table and then back to Twilight. She really had them all quite scared. 

“Okay, why are you making them feel bad Twilight? They made a mistake, no-one is perfect though.”

Twilight sighed and looked at him, “Do you know what it felt like when they opened that portal?”

Kai shook his head. His trip to Equestria had been a rather nauseous experience though.

“Well, imagine going down a series of white-water rapids wearing nothing but a pair of floaties! The spell they cast wasn’t one that would bring me home, it was one that forced me to recast the spell I used to get here, but because of the type of spell I used, I was forcefully dragged against a powerful magical current. And because I tried to resist the spell, they simply pulled harder!”

Celestia’s ears folded back and her other friends looked like they were about to cry.

“I truly am sorry,” the solar Alicorn said. “I-I didn’t mean for it to happen like that. I-”

“You’re Princess Celestia!” Twilight yelled. “You’re supposed to be perfect, you don’t make mistakes like that.” Tears stung the corners of her eyes. “I-I thought that, that you’d trust that I knew what I was doing!” The purple Alicorn smacked the table with a hoof, “This is just like Cady’s and Shining’s wedding all over again! You just can’t trust me can you? Any of you!?”

Everypony present visibly cringed at the mention of that wedding.

“Twilight!” Kai said, his tone was stern but soft as he put a hand on her shoulder. “Calm down.”

“Calm down!? Why would I-” She was silenced as Kai put a finger to her lips.

“Stop and listen,” he said sternly. “I don’t know the whole story here, and I don’t know these ponies well enough to even begin to understand. But Celestia, you look up to her don’t you?” 

Twilight nodded, but didn't say anything.

“Well, then I can understand that much. It’s hard when someone makes a mistake, especially when they seem infallible. But making mistakes? It happens. And that’s why forgiving is the best answer, no-one is perfect okay. I know you haven’t been on the best of terms with your friends lately either… but they care about you Twilight, just like I do.”

“I… I know that, it’s just…”

“I’m not finished,” Kai said, bopping her on the nose. “They did what they did because they thought you were in danger. I can’t say it was the right thing to do, but their heart as in the right place.”

“Yeah, we only wanted to help!” Pinkie cheered, but withered as Kai turned his glare on the rest of them.

“Oh, you’ll get your turn in just a moment.”

“Wha- What’d we do!?” Applejack replied with her own glare.

“Eager are we? Well alright, let’s start with the fact that all of you are lousy friends!”

“WHAT!?” Rainbow and Applejack yelled.

“What, too busy with your own lives to even bother visiting Twilight? Do you even have any idea how lonely she was?”

Twilight blinked, “Kai…”

“And just who do you think you are?” Rarity huffed. “You just claimed you do not know us, yet see fit to tell us what to do?”

“Well no-one seems to want to,” Kai retorted. “So, what’s your excuse? Is it because Twilight’s a Princess now?”

“Twilight’s our friend!” Pinkie said. “Being a Princess doesn’t change that!”

“So answer this,” Kai replied. “Why is it that Twilight blames herself for letting the distance between all of you grow. She blames it on working too much and not having the time to spend with her friends. She doesn’t blame any of you!!”

“Is-is that true?” Fluttershy spoke up, her tiny voice sounding deafening due to the silence that came over the room. “Twilight?”

“Well… it is,” Twilight said. “I fell back into old habits after I became Princess and Archmage. I allowed myself to become consumed with my studies again…”

“But that’s not true darling, we just… drifted apart and none of us did anything about it.” Rarity looked at her friends, who all nodded in agreement. “A lot has happened in the last few months, but it doesn’t excuse the fact that we ignored you dear. Can you ever forgive us?”

“There’s… I don’t really know what I should say here,” Twilight said, wiping a tear from her eye. “But, we’re still friends, right?”

All five mares suddenly ran over to the Alicorn, scooping her up into a group hug.

“Of course we are, we always will be!” Pinkie cheered happily. “Pony Friends Forever!”

“As cheesy as all this is,” Rainbow blushed. “We’re friends, no matter which way you cut it.”

“Eww, Dashie said she cut the cheese~” Pinkie giggled, causing the others to laugh as well.

Twilight laughed as well as she hugged her best friends. “I really missed this,” she said quietly.

Kai watched and smiled, it was great that Twilight could reconcile with her friends. He wondered if the end credits would start rolling, but instead he was approached by Shining Armor. Kai jumped when the stallion put a hoof on his arm.

“AH! Geez, don’t sneak up on people like that!”

“Heh, sorry about that.” Shining watched his sister enjoy the cuddlepile. “It’s good to see her happy again though, these last few months have been… tough.” Shining sighed, “It’s difficult to help when you have your own kingdom to run, especially one that out of date by a thousand years.”

“Well, make it up to her now then,” Kai responded. “Why don’t you have a family day or something?”

Shining nodded, “That’s a pretty good idea, uh, sorry I forgot your name.”

“Just call me Kai, and you?” Kai had admittedly forgotten his too.

“Shining Armor,” he extended a hoof which Kai shook. “And thank you for taking care of my little sister during her… vacation.”

“It was my pleasure,” Kai smiled. That smile turned into a smirk as he looked at Princess Luna.

The lunar Alicorn shuddered and wondered if she could make a break for it.

“Oh Princess Luna~” Kai sang out.

“Ponyfeathers!” she swore under her breath. “Yes human Kai, what is it?”

The human sauntered over to her. “Oh nothing much, but I believe I kept my end of our little deal. So you will be gracious enough to follow through on yours hmm?”

“Fine,” she replied through gritted teeth.

“Lulu?” Celestia asked. “Just what is all this about?”

The blue Alicorn refused to answer, so Kai answered for her. “Oh nothing much, we had a delightful conversation last night, and it led to Princess Luna having to owe me a little something.”

“Oh, and what might that something be?” Celestia giggled. Luna just growled in response.

“We~ell…” Kai paused and let the unknown threat hang in the air for a moment. “I was thinking of getting Luna to apologise for trying to kill me last night… in front of everyone.” Luna’s eyes widened and she backed up ever so slightly.

“But, that might be kinda mean,” Kai smiled. “I still want an apology, but what I want to know more is how I got here in the first place. You and Celestia seem to know something about that.”

Celestia nodded while Luna breathed a sigh of relief. “Well, I don’t have anything conclusive… just a theory really.”

“And that theory is?”

“You were brought here by the Element of Magic and when Luna and I investigated the Hall of Harmony, the room you seemed to arrive in, we discovered trace elements of Harmony Magic.”

“Well I know that the Element brought me here, that much is obvious,” Kai replied.

“Indeed, but how did it activate in the first place?” Luna responded. “The Elements will only respond to my sister and I, as well as the six mares sitting over there. But somehow, you too activated them… Tis most curious.”

“So, you’re saying that I somehow used magic?” Kai said with disbelief. “Well, that’s uh… certainly a thing that happened.”

“I thought I could sense a little magic in you when we first did a Mindlink-” Twilight spoke but was cut off when Celestia coughed into her teacup.

“Mindlink?” the Alicorn questioned with a concerned. “You performed a Mindlink with this gentlecolt?”

“Um, yes?” Twilight asked, wondering just what the problem was.

Celestia sighed as she put down her teacup. “Twilight, when I first started to teach you, I told you that three types of magic were off limits. Can you remember what they were?”

Twilight’s eyes grew wide, was Celestia giving her a test!? Well she would not fail!

“Um, let’s see, Necromancy, Time travel and…” Twilight suddenly became quiet as she remembered the third. “Mind Control…”

“And a Mindlink spell falls under that last school of magic, doesn’t it?”

Twilight sighed as her ears drooped. She’d been so focused on learning something new, something that nopony on all of Equus knew… that she’d totally forgotten that it was a forbidden spell.

Celestia nodded, “However, there are… extenuating circumstances surrounding your use of that spell, and there doesn’t appear to be any lingering side effects from it.”

“Side effects?” Kai asked, slightly concerned.

“Well, you could be under her thrall, living only to serve her every word without question, or vice-versa.”

Twilight and Kai stared wide-eyed at each other.

“But seeing as how that hasn’t happened, just… don’t do it again okay?”

“Yes Princess,” Twilight apologised. “Wait! I’m still mad at you! Why am I apologising?”

“All this nonsense aside,” Luna stated, changing the subject. “It does not explain why Human Kai was able to wield the most powerful magical artefact in Equestria! He is neither an Alicorn, nor an Element Bearer!”

Twilight closed her eyes and tilted her head side to side as she thought. “Hmm, no that’s not it. Oh… no, but it could- wait! Uhh, no….”

Kai snorted as he watched her talk out loud. “She does this often?”

“Only when she’s thinking very hard,” Celestia giggled.

“AH-HA!” Twilight’s sudden shout caused Kai and Celestia to jump. “I think I have it.”

“Well, let’s hear it,” Kai urged her.

“Well when I was inside your head, I came across several aspects of your personality… some were… strange.”

“You’re one to talk,” Kai muttered, remembering his own experiences.

“Aanyway,” Twilight chose wisely to ignore that. “When it was time to leave, I wasn’t sure how to. But then five aspects of your personality helped me.”

“Five…?” Celestia pondered, and after a second her eyes widened in realisation. “Oh?”

“’Oh?’” Luna mimicked. “Oh what Sister? What is she talking about.”

“Kindness, Loyalty, Generosity, Laughter and Honesty.” Twilight smiled at her human friend. “Though he isn’t a paragon of those aspects…”

“Hey!”

“He still bears traits of all of them. In a way, most of us do.” Twilight looked Celestia and Luna, “It’s probably why just the two of you could wield them.”

“That… makes sense… I suppose,” Luna replied. “But how did he use Magic? It’s already been stated that he possesses very little of it. So it makes very little sense now.”

“Exactly!” A new voice rang out as everypony looked around the room. There was a bright flash and Discord appeared on the table, wearing a shirt with a picture of a kangaroo and an Akubra hat with corks hanging off of it. A single Ugg boot was covering his cloven hoof. “After all, what fun is there in making sense?”

“Discord!” Luna spat, her voice was venomous. 

“Why… does it look like a tourist store threw up on him?” Kai asked.

“It’s Discord, nothing he does makes sense!” Luna replied.

“Oh, do try and be a little amicable Lulu,” Discord said. “I did bring this charming gentleman here to help Twilight after all.”

“Wait, you?” Twilight sat down. “What do you mean?”

“You were that hobo!” Kai suddenly realised. “You’re the one that told me that Twilight had left her Element behind.”

“Yes, oh, and I gave you a little magic boost too!” Discord sang gleefully. “And when you got here? Such delicious chaos!” Discord belched loudly, enough to rattle the furniture.

“How uncouth,” Rarity moaned.

Kai walked over to the Spirit of Chaos and held out his hand. Discord looked quite shocked actually, he’d expected a more… hostile reaction.

“You helped me save Twilight, so… Discord right?”

Discord nodded and held out his eagle talon, which Kai shook.

“Well, thank you Discord.”

“No-one’s ever… thanked me before,” Discord said, looking at his hand. “And meant it anyway.”

“You did something good,” Celestia smiled. “I think it’s quite a step forward Discord. I’m proud of you.”

Discord’s jaw fell to the floor, which he quickly picked back up and re-attached it with a screwdriver. He put his hat of Celestia’s head and cackled. “Well, I can’t have that now. It’d ruin my reputation…” he vanished, leaving only a disembodied voice behind. “Let’s see what happens when I turn Cloudsdale into cotton candy!”

“Don’t you dare!” Rainbow yelled. She looked back at her friends with a worried look. “He wouldn’t… would he?”

She was simply met with half-hearted nods.

“I like him,” Kai smiled. “He looks fun.”

“Can it be?” Twilight gasped. “Has… are you really Kai? Where has my surly, friendship-hating human gone?”

“He met a purple, pony Princess who showed him that friends can be worth the effort,” he smiled back, hugging the Alicorn. “But uh… how do I get home?”

Twilight blinked, “Well… guess I’d better start working on it, though I think Discord might be able to do it if you ask nicely.”

“The guy looks fun, but not someone I’d want to owe a favour to,” Kai deadpanned.

“That’s… probably a good idea actually,” Twilight replied. “So… what do we do now?”

“Our parents have been worried about you,” Shining asked. “We should probably go and see them.”

Twilight nodded, “Okay… but what about you Kai?”

“I’ll be alright here in the castle,” Kai replied. “Heh, I’m actually in a castle… and I saved the Princess…”

Twilight giggled, and everypony else just didn’t get the joke at all, save for a small smile on Luna’s face.

“I won’t be long then. Why don’t you spend some time with my friends? I’d really like it if you could all be friends too!” Something then clicked in Twilight’s mind, something she noticed a little earlier. She looked at Pinkie Pie and Rarity. “Um, can you two explain why you’ve been hugging a lot?”

“Ah, well…” Rarity started, blushing quite hard.

“That super easy~” Pinkie giggled. “It’s cause Rare-bear is my plushie-wushie marshmallow pony!”

Rainbow roared with laughter while Applejack joined her. Even Fluttershy giggled while Rarity just wanted to dig a hole and bury herself, her face aflame with embarrassment.

“Heehee! What she means…” Applejack said in between giggles. “Is that her an’ Rare’s have been dating fer about a month now.”

Twilight gasped and then a huge smile split her face. “Oh my gosh! That great!” she did a flying leap across the table and tackle-hugged the two mares. “I’m so happy for you two! But, has it really been a month?”

“Yes,” Rarity said, finally composing herself and returning Twilight’s hug. “I never thought I’d be dating Pinkie Pie of all ponies… yet here I am, and I could not be happier.”

“Aww, I love you too Rarity~” Pinkie smiled, leaning into her. “And one day, I’ll cure you of your stuffy party-itis.”

“And I’ll make you wear dress that doesn’t involve streamers,” Rarity retorted.

“Both of those sound impossible if you ask me,” Applejack murmured to Rainbow, who nodded in agreement.

Once Twilight was pried away from her friends, she and Shining left, leaving Kai at the mercy of five mares and three Princesses.

“So ah…” Kai rubbed the back of his head, not used to being the centre of attention. “Yeah?”

“Well, I guess I’ll start things off,” Cadence gave him a predatory grin. “I believe I speak for everypony here, I want to know, are you in love with Twilight?”

Kai froze and coughed. “Oh, wow… that escalated quickly.”

“And you’re stalling,” Cadence said.

“I… well… I don’t know,” Kai said honestly. “I like Twilight, she’s definitely a great friend… but love?” he wondered that himself. He’d never really been in love before, he’d never had a girlfriend and Mike’s choices in setting him up with girls were questionable at best. And Twilight was a pony? Well, was that really an issue though?

“Don’t pressure the poor boy,” Celestia chided the younger Princess. “Whether he is or isn’t is not our business… yet.”

“What’s the human world like?” Fluttershy asked suddenly, surprising everypony with her boldness. “Do you have adorable animals there?”

“Ah, an easy question,” Kai smiled, glad the topic had been derailed. “We have tons of adorable animals, and so much more… where to start?”

And so he began to tell them what he knew, from Twilight’ first arrival to everything that happened after. He spoke of all the creatures inhabiting his world and the technological marvels that humans had created. It looked like he wasn’t going home right away and the role-reversal around that made him chuckle. But he didn’t mind, Equestria looked like a nice place and he was with Twilight again… for now.


Oh, and though nopony wanted to point it out, and Kai thought it was hilarious... But Princess Celestia was still wearing the bottle cork hat~

> Resolution
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Twilight walked side-by-side with her BBBFF, wondering just how mad her mother was going to be. After the Nightmare Moon incident, her mother tried to ground her for a month for throwing herself in danger like that.

“I am never going to see the sky again after this,” Twilight muttered. Shining chuckled and ruffled her mane with magic.

“Probably, want me to vouch for you like always?”

“That would be great,” Twilight sighed. Shining often used to cover for her when she accidentally blew something up or would stay up late reading and sleep in the next morning. Twilight had a feeling that her mother always knew the truth regardless though. Cadence once told Twilight that Velvet was really Princess Celestia in disguise as a practical joke. Imagine the look on Celestia’s face the next day when Twilight called her ‘Mommy’.

Once they reached the Sparkle household, Night Light and Twilight Velvet were already waiting outside, the latter running up to her daughter and pulled her into a tight hug as she wept.

“You’re alright, thank goodness you’re alright,” the Unicorn mare sobbed into the small Alicorn’s mane.

“Yeah,” Twilight whispered back, tears falling down her face as well. “I’m alright Mom.”

There was a silent exchange between the two mares as Shining and Night hung back. Velvet eventually pulled away, her brow creased as her expression turned dour.

“And what in the hay were you thinking!? Playing around with teleport magic like that!”

“Well I-”

“What would have happened if your calculations were off?” Velvet continued to rant. “You could have wound up in the sun for Celestia’s sake!”

“That really wouldn’t have-”

“Do you have any idea how worried your father and I have been? How worried all of us were?”

“I’m sorry-” Twilight’s frustration was increasing, Shining took a tentative step back.

“Honestly,” Velvet huffed. “Nightmare Moon, Discord, Sombra, Discord again! It’s like you like throwing yourself in danger!”

“IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!” Twilight exploded, shocking her mother into a stunned silence. “And do you have any idea what my life has been like these last few months? I drifted apart from my friends, you and Dad were always busy with work or social events. Shining and Cadence live a billion miles away-”

“It’s actually about fifteen hundred kilometers…” Shining went to correct his sister, until her glare told him that he’d be taking a permanent vacation to the Underworld should he continue.

“Shutting up now,” Shining hung his head.

“All I had left were my studies,” Twilight continued, her anger much more subdued now. “I thought there was nothing I could do to change my life… so I thought I could try and change everypony else’s…”

“Wait,” Velvet spoke quietly. She had been studying twilight’s project, along with her sister, Star Sparkle, to see if they could help bring twilight back. “Those gates you want to invent… you made them so-”

“So my friends and family could visit anytime they wanted,” Twilight’s voice was almost inaudible. “Because I wanted to be selfish…”

Twilight let out a surprised squeak when Velvet hugged her. “Oh my poor filly, I never thought you were so lonely. I never wanted you to feel like that, I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, like I said to my friends earlier, I shouldn’t have lost myself in my studies and tried harder to keep in contact. It’s not fair to place the blame on everyone but myself.”

Twilight Velvet smiled and hugged her daughter again. “Well, you’re safe and that’s what matters. Now why don’t you and your brother come inside for tea? Your aunt is here.”

“Aunt Star!?” Twilight beamed, she hadn’t seen her in ages. “Well, what about you Shiny?”

“I am under strict orders to accompany you everywhere Twi-Twi,” Shining Armor responded. “Cadence’s orders.”

Twilight giggled and the family headed inside, Twilight spared a thought to her human friend, wondering how he was doing…

 

*~* 



Kai was not having fun. Princess Candy has been asking him nonstop about his supposed relationship with Twilight, while her friends had barraged him with questions about Earth.

Rainbow Dash had challenged him to a hand-wrestling (hoof-wrestling?), either way, he’d lost to a creature half his size and had thrice the ego. It had been half an hour and the mare was still bragging that she’d beat an alien in a contest.

Fluttershy hadn’t said a word until Kai had brought up the topic of Earth animals, and choosing to leave out any topics regarding ponies and horses. But the demure mare was now practically bouncing with joy, wanting to know anything and everything about Earth fauna and flora. In fact, the quietest ones had been Celestia and Luna, both of whom had left earlier to attend to some royal duties or something.

After some lunch, Flash Step had cut her sleep short to show Kai around the castle.

“You sure about this?” Kai asked the mare. “I don’t want you to be exhausted for your shift tonight.”

“I got the night off actually,” Flash smiled. “So it’s alright, we had to shuffle a few shifts around, but I have Day Duty tomorrow and then back to Night Duty by the weeks end.”

“Well, if you’re sure then okay then. Show me the ways of your pony world!” Kai smiled with dramatic flair.

“Well, the inside of the castle anyway,” Flash giggled. “At least it’s a really big castle.”

They first visited the hall where Kai arrived, Flash explaining that the room was once used for ancient prayer. It had been hundreds of years since Celestia and Luna were worshipped as deities, Celestia having grown tired of ponies grovelling to her and being afraid of divine retribution if they angered her.

“Really?” Kai tilted his head. “Celestia seems pretty nice to me.”

“Yeah, I’ve never known Princess Celestia to get really angry at somepony or something,” Flash responded. “But I don’t really know what it was like hundreds of years ago though. Rumour has it that the Princesses have powerful weapons and armour, which they would wear in times of war. The theories on what that armour actually look like though vary quite a bit.” Flash giggled as she recalled her own personal ideas. “Some say it’s full-plate armour made of enchanted star-metal, while some state that it’s skimpy Amarezon armour~”

“And what do you think?” Kai chuckled, noting the slight pink on the mare’s cheeks. This was also the first time he’d seen her without armour. He wondered in Celestia had cloned all her guards, or if it some weird Nurse Joy thing where they were all siblings that looked identical.

Turns out that Guard armour is enchanted. Without it, Flash Step looked like a totally different pony. She had a charcoal grey coat and her mane and tail were snow white. Her Cutie Mark was a pair of clouds that looked like they were being blown in the wind. Apparently, not only is she an Earth Pony born to Unicorn parents, she also had a Cutie Mark that looked more in place on a Pegasus.

“Well, what I think is irrelevant and I reserve my right to silence,” Flash huffed, but the increasing glow on her cheeks told Kai all he needed to know.

They continued to walk all over the castle, as Kai saw the kitchens, the Royal Vault, (Though he wasn’t allowed inside), as well as the gardens and once Court had ended, he got to see the throne room.

“These stained-glass windows are really nice,” he said in a hushed tone. He didn’t really know why he was talking quietly, maybe it was the church-like vibe he was getting from the room?

“Almost every major event is recorded with a window here,” Flash explained. “While we have official records in the Archives and whatnot, it’s nice to have a visual reminder I suppose.”

“Humans do a lot of things like this too,” Kai said. “We have churches, buildings of prayer and worship that have beautiful stained glass windows like this, and that’s just one medium.”

“Your Earth sounds really fascinating,” Flash said, and recalled other things he had told her during their walk. “But also a little scary.”

“You have magic, dragons and eldritch abominations… this is hardly a candy-coated world Steppy.”

Flash Step paused and looked at him, “W-what did you call me?”

“Huh?” Kai realised that he’d just given his friend a nickname. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it.”

Flash Step shook her head. “It’s alright, I kinda like it… nopony has ever given me a nickname before… at least not a kind one.”

No! Kai had discovered that sad ponies were absolutely heartcrushing. The topic of parents had come up in an earlier conversation with Twilight’s friends and Kai had mentioned that he didn’t have any. Fluttershy got very sad and Kai was introduced to death by diabeetus. He had no idea that something so cute could possibly exist.

“Hey, don’t worry. We’re friends right?” Kai stopped as he realised that saying that didn’t feel as weird as he thought. Here he was, standing in a castle, in another world ruled by mythical creatures. And he was giving them nicknames and calling them friends.

“My life is so weird,” Kai mused.

“My best friend is an alien,” Flash giggled. “My life is weirder.”

The throne room door suddenly burst open, shattering the sense of serenity as a pompous-looking Unicorn strode in, his aura was just teeming with arrogance.

“Auntie?” he called out. “Are you still in… here…?” he laid eyes on Kai and his mouth just hung open.

“W-what are you!?” he exclaimed as he backed away slowly. Kai was about to respond when Flash stepped forward, a predatory grin on her face.

“Don’t you know?” she smirked. “He was brought here by Discord, and do you want to know something really special Bluey?”

“W-w-w-what?” ‘Bluey’ stammered. Kai just folded his arms and looked at the stallion. Just what was Flash Step up to?

The mare stepped closer to the noble, “He eats Unicorn brains… sucks ‘em straight out through their horns!”

The stallion let out a girlish whinny as the colour drained from his already pale face. His eyes went as wide as dinner plates as he bolted from the room as fast as his hooves could carry him. Once he left, Kai put his hands on his hips and gave Flash an incredulous look.

“Okay Steppy, what the hell was that about?”

Flash Step tried to keep her composure, and she did… for about three seconds. Then she dropped to the floor as she rolled around, laughing her ass off.

Kai wasn’t amused. “Care to explain why you made me look like a monster.”

“Hahhaha, Ohhh~ That was the greatest thing ever!” she laughed madly. “Did you see the look on his face! I thought’s the cleaners would have extra workkaaahahaha!”

“Fecking hilarious,” Kai replied. “Explain Flash Step, now!”

“Hhaahhoohh you’re serious?” Her jovial mood was promptly killed. “Oh, that probably wasn’t as funny for you. I’m sorry, I just really wanted to get my idiot brother back for all the crap I have to deal with.”

“Your brother?” Kai looked at the door that slowly creaked closed. “That was your brother?”

“Yeah,” Flash Step wiped a tear from her eye. “His name is Prince Blueblood, and he’s more of a half-brother really. Different fathers.”

“Ah, and I guess you and him don’t get along very well then?”

“Actually," Flash corrected him. "We get along great, but he’s been winning our pranking war for weeks now. It feels good to get him back for once!”

“Unbelievable,” Kai muttered. “At least warn me next time.”

“Okay~” Flash laughed. They both turned as the throne room doors opened once more as Twilight walked in this time.

“Um, can I ask why I saw Blueblood running through the halls screaming about zombies or something?”

Kai and Flash looked at each other, before bursting out laughing.

Twilight just blinked and shook her head. “Everypony in this castle is crazy…”



*~*

 

Now that Twilight had rejoined him, she wanted to show him something special. Kai had a few things he could say to that, but it had been a long day and the thought of laughing like he was earlier sounded exhausting. After walking for a few minutes of walking and playing ‘Let’s shove the human in a bush every time a pony walks past’, Kai, Twi and Flash arrived at Twilight’s lab.

“Well,” Kai pulled some twigs and leaves from his hair. “As fun as that was.” His voice was so icy it could have made the Frozen North look like the Sahara. “Was there a point to all this?”

Twilight nodded and she opened the door, which was blocked by red tape and a ‘Stay Out’ sign written in pink crayon. No prizes for guessing who put those up.

“Yeah, I wanted to show you this,” The door creaked open and they were greeted by a dark room. Kai had a horrible flashback to when he was in Twilight’s mind… and her more ‘questionable’ personalities.

“As my friend,” Kai said to Flash Step. “I reserve the right to use you as a meat shield.”

“Feeling the love there Kai,” Step muttered. She felt a sense of unsettling dread as well… rumours about the mad scientist Princess had floated around the castle, and the fact that she disappeared didn’t help to quash them.

“One,” Twilight stated as she switched on the lights. “You both suck. And two, I want to show Kai the experiment that led me to his living room.”

“You said it was a teleport spell gone wrong, right?” Kai asked as Twilight strode over to the left wall and moved a painting, revealing a small hole in the wall.

“That’s right, and this… well it looks like nopony found it yet, which is good.” She paused and looked at Flash Step, “Miss Flash?”

“Just Flash will be fine Your Majesty,” Flash Step bowed.

“Then you shall call me Twilight. Can I ask something of you?”

Flash Step tilted her head after she rose. “Yes?”

“What I am about to show you is top secret, at least for now. I need you to promise that what you see in here, you will not tell another living, or undead soul.”

She really wanted to know what Princess Twilight threw the undead thing in there, but decided it was safer to not know.

“Uh, I promise?”

“Pinkie Promise?” Twilight asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I have no idea what that is, but yeah, I Pinkie Promise.” Flash Step suddenly had the strangest sensation that she was being watched.

Twilight nodded and placed her horn in the hole. Several magical lines traced their way out of the hole, creating symbols along the wall. The room gave a mild rumble as the wall separated, revealing a hidden chamber.

“Do… do I want to know why this room has the same magical locks as the Royal Vault?” Flash Step asked.

“I saw them once, when the Princess showed me where she had kept the Elements of Harmony… I liked the idea and created my own.” Twilight stated as a matter-of-factly. Flash Step just stood with her mouth open. The Vault had the most powerful magical locks in the world, and Princess Twilight re-created it… just because she could!?

Once the door opened, Twilight beamed widely as she unveiled what was inside. A large ring-shaped gate made from gleaming crystal.

“Twilight?” Kai started to say. He knew exactly what that looked like.

“It’s not quite finished,” the purple Alicorn explained. “What I want is to have one in every major city. Imagine, being able to go from city to city in an instant, no matter what species you are.” 

She sighed as she ran a hoof along the rings surface. “The problem is that I can’t figure out how I should link multiple gates together… My trip to Earth proved that the teleportation aspect is possible, and I could link two gates together no problem… But getting a gate to link to more than one?”

Kai looked at it. It sure as hell looked like one, but would it work? Couldn’t hurt to ask right? “So what you want, is to be able to have one gate able to open up to multiple gates, rather than just one right?”

Twilight’s eyes sparkled, Kai was actually interested in her experiments? “That’s right, but what are you-”

“What about using an address?”

Twilight stopped and stared at him. “Um, Kai? I love that you want to help, but this is a magical gateway using wormholes, not a letter box.”

“Assign a different address to each gate, then create something to be able to ‘dial in’ those addresses, like a second ring or something. You have these runes here that you use for the connection right?” He pointed to a series of runes etched into the crystal ring. “So give each gate their own unique sequence and create some kind of interface to type in the sequence you want. Like the keyboard for my computer, or the buttons on a telephone.”

Twilight snorted, like that would actually… work? Her eyes went wide as she raced from the room, papers flying about in a maelstrom of levitation magic. She muttered incoherently as she went over notes, made calculations and plotted theories.

After a few moments a loud shout, she raced back to the human, rearing up and placing her hooves on his shoulders. She stared him in the eyes as a frown creased her brow.

“Okay, I know for a fact that you have no idea how magic works. Tell me just how in the hay, that that is actually a plausible concept!” She had her own thoughts, “Do humans have this technology already?”

“Not, technically,” Kai said and Twilight blinked.

“This… this is another weird coincidence between our worlds isn’t it?” she deadpanned.

“Something like that, I saw it on a TV show once, and your device is eerily similar…”

“Unbelievable,” Twilight sighed, lowering herself back down to the floor. “I have researched and been stonewalled by this for months… and my answer comes from a world with no magic whatsoever… all because you saw it in a piece of fiction…”

“Sometimes you gotta think outside the box,” Kai chuckled, “Or look into one in this case.”

“’Look into one’?” Twilight didn’t get it… oh? “Oooh, cause a TV is shaped like a box!” A knock came from the front door as Twilight hastily closed up her secret room. A moment later, an Earth Pony in a maid outfit entered. Flash recognised her as Princess Celestia’s personal hoofmaiden.

“I am here to inform Princess Twilight Sparkle and Lord Kai that dinner is being served very soon. Will you be joining us?”

Twilight nodded, “Yes, I think the three of us shall. Thank you Sunny!”

The mare nodded and retreated from the room, leaving Flash to gape again.

“Three!?” Flash shook her head. “I can’t dine with royalty! I’m just a guard!”

“Nonsense,” Twilight smiled. “You’re Kai’s friend, and I’d very much like it if you’d be my friend too. So please?”

“Yeah, c’mon Steppy,” Kai agreed. “You’ll soon realise how ‘Un-Princessey’ these Alicorns are when they eat in front of friends.”

“Kai!” Twilight exclaimed, blushing and punched his arm lightly with a hoof. The human still laughed though and the three friends headed off to the Royal dining hall together.

 

*~*


 
Dinner had been wonderful and Twilight had enjoyed spending more time with her friends. Turns out that Rarity and Pinkie hadn’t been the only ones to find romance, Rainbow had also found somepony… but didn’t really say much else beyond that. Apparently she was too cool to talk about feelings and there was no way mere words could describe how awesome her special somepony was.

Discord had also popped around. Literally. He was wearing a tuxedo made of bubble wrap, which Pinkie found to be endlessly amusing.

Cadence was also talking to Twilight about something, which had caused the younger Alicorn’s face to portray a variety of expressions. Most of which had Kai a little concerned about what the ‘Princess of Love’ was telling her.

Oh, and nearly choking to death was on the menu apparently. Kai had failed to mention that hay and flowers were not generally on a humans menu. The chefs felt pretty bad about it, but Kai waved it off, he still remembered Twilight’s facial expression when he devoured a plate of bacon. He’d gotten a salad that was absolutely delicious, royalty really had it good here.

“So we must discuss it,” Celestia said. “On how we should get you home Mr. Kai.”

Oh. Right. There was that small issue wasn’t there? Twilight paused from her talk with Cadence and interrupted.

“A-actually, Princess Celestia, I may have an answer for that. But it could take a couple of days… maybe more.”

“Does it have anything to do with what you were working one before your, ‘vacation’?” Celestia asked, God, her face and tone of voice gave nothing away. Kai was pretty sure if you looked up ‘Poker face’ in a dictionary, Celestia’s face would have been there. The regal Alicorn turned back to Kai.

“So do you want to trust Twilight to assist in this endeavour?”

Kai frowned, “I crossed worlds to save my friend when I heard she was in trouble. What the hell makes you think I wouldn't trust her with this?"

Celestia smiled, and nodded her head. “I apologise for my poor choice in words then. It seems that Twilight has made a steadfast friend in you Mr. Kai.”

“Damn right,” Kai nodded, a small blush gracing his cheeks. “And don’t you forget it.”

The rest of dinner went a lot more smoothly after that, and Flash Step still couldn’t believe that she was at dinner with four Princesses, a Prince and five of the most famous ponies in Equestria. Not to mention her alien best friend.

“My life is so weird,” she said.

“And my best friend is an alien, my life is weirder.” Kai said back, placing a hand on her withers. “Who’d have thought that I’d be making friends with a bunch of magical, talking ponies.”

“And is that a bad thing?” Rainbow huffed.

“Strangely… No,” Kai admitted. “I really happy to have met some great friends like yourselves.” 

The human yelped as he found himself in the centre of a massive group hug all of a sudden. And while it was nice and all, he noticed that the mare right next to him was Twilight, and that his heart was pounding a mile a minute…

 

*~*


 
After dinner, Kai had gone back to his room to shower after Pinkie tried to start a food fight, luckily Rarity had put a stop to that, but not before some mashed potatoes were lobbed at Kai.

The shower, oh, now that was a thing of beauty. One, the shower cubicle was large enough to fit about six of seven humans easily. Two, the showerhead was a large tile in the roof, which had perfect water flow. There was a tile seat that ran along the left side of the shower, and held an assortment of shampoos and shower gels.

Truly a shower fit for a king.

King Kai, the human snorted in amusement at that.

After emerging, he was greeted with something that gave him quite a surprise. Twilight was standing in his room, looking nervous as hell to boot.

Kai sat on the bed as Twilight took a seat next to him. He chuckled as she turned around once before settling down, folding her forehooves like a cat.

“What?” she asked, not getting the joke, but that just made Kai laugh again.

“It’s nothing, so… what’s up?” It was kinda late and he hadn’t been expecting a visitor.

“Ah! Well, umm…” Twilight flushed red and suddenly looked away. “It’s well… It’s something that’s been on my mind recently. And Cadence thought I should talk to you about it.”

‘Cadence’ Kai swore internally. That pretty, pink Princess pony had asked him almost non-stop since he arrived about his relationship with Twilight. Just what did she tell Twilight?

“Go on,” he said calmly. Well, only one way to find out huh?

Twilight blushed harder and nodded. “Well um, it’s about… well, it’s about that…”

‘Well this could take a while,’ Kai sighed as he placed a hand on her back, causing the mare to let out a surprised squeak. “Just tell me already, dork.”

“Y-yeah,” Twilight stammered. By Celestia this was harder than she thought. She took a deep breath and placed a hoof on her chest, before exhaling and sweeping her hoof outwards, just like Cadence had shown her earlier.

“Better?” Kai asked with a light chuckle.

“Better,” Twilight giggled. “It’s… about that night you kissed me. I-I want to know…” Well, now her heart was racing again. C’mon Sparkle, just spit it out already! “I want to know… what that meant.”

“O-oh?” Kai choked, now it was his turn to be all flustered. “W-what that meant huh?”

Twilight nodded.

“Well, I ah… I don’t really know for certain why I did that,” Kai said honestly. “As for what it meant, well… I don’t really know that either. At the time, I wasn’t really thinking about it.”

“I see,” Twilight replied. To say she felt disappointed would be a massive understatement. But why did she feel like that? Was she hoping that there would be something more to it? That perhaps he felt something towards her.

“Twilight?” Kai went to touch her, but the mare flinched and hopped off of the bed.

“I’m sorry to have disturbed you so late Kai,” Twilight said with a forced smile. “It was something silly that got stuck in my mind.” Her forced laugh was even harder to bear.

Kai nodded, and then got off the bed and knelt down to her height. “Can I say something else?”

“What?” Twilight replied, confused as to why he had such an odd look on his face.

“Well, I’ve been thinking lately and maybe, just maybe, I’ve been mistaken, about a great many things. But I don’t want to make the same mistake again.” He leaned in closer and Twilight could feel her heart pound in her ears. What was he doing!?

“That kiss, I don’t know what it meant. But this one?” he pressed his lips gently against hers, his eyes closed as Twilight was too stunned to move. The kiss only lasted a few seconds, but something told Kai that it felt right, maybe because when he tried to pull away, Twilight moved forward, leaning into the kiss. A few more blissful seconds passed before the pair separated, leaving them quite breathless.

“Well,” Kai panted.

“Yeah,” Twilight agreed, touching her lips.

“I kissed a pony,” Kai simply stated.

“And I kissed an alien… and I really, really liked it,” Twilight giggled. “Um, did you?”

Kai tapped his chin, as a salacious smirk crossed his face. He reached out and grabbed the alicorn, pulled her close to him as she giggled with nervous excitement. “I don’t really know yet… but I do believe that further experimentation is in order.”

Twilight’s eyes lit up, “Oh, we should set a baseline to work off and a flow chart-” she was silenced as Kai kissed her again, holding her close his chest as he ran his other hand through her soft mane. She let out a happy moan as he deepened the kiss, and Twilight parted her lips, allowing his tongue to gently caress hers. She ran her tongue along his teeth, feeling a rush of slight fear and excitement as she felt his sharp canines. All too soon, they parted again, both feeling an exhilarating rush. Twilight sighed as she placed her head against his chest, hearing Kai’s steady heartbeat.

“So where do we go from here?” she asked softly. “I’ve never done anything like this before.”

“To be honest, I haven’t either,” Kai admitted. “But right now? Well… we’ll go as fast or as slow as you like.”

Twilight huddled against him, his hands caressing her mane and shoulders. “Ooh~” Twilight moaned as he found that spot between her wings and rubbed it gently. “You keep that up and we’ll probably move very, very fast.”

“I don’t know if we should take that step just yet,” Kai said, easing up… but only slightly. “But that bed is super comfy and I wouldn’t be adverse to doing more of what we just did.”

Twilight pulled back and gave a half-lidded stare at her new coltfriend. “Mr. Kai! Are you suggesting, to a Princess of Equestria! That we spend the night, in that comfy-looking bed, making out?”

Kai returned the gaze and licked his lips. “Hm, yeah. I guess I am-” he barely finished that sentence before Twilight pounced on him, switching off the lights with a quick flash from her horn…
> Omake - Cause I just had to.
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sun was shining and the birds were singing. It was another perfect morning in Equestria.

The great palace in the city of Canterlot was already buzzing with activity, with servants dashing here and there, making the Palace look as pristine as the day of its creation. Guards were rotating their shifts, relieving the weary night watch, so they could get some rest and prepare for the next night.

The grand table in the dining hall was being laid out for a glorious feast, as the Monarch of the Sun, the Infallible Princess of the Day, the one with the Great White Flanks... Princess Celestia, walked into the room. Her refined hoofsteps sounded like pure crystal bells on the marble floor.  

Several ponies were already seated at the table, her exhausted younger sister, Princess Luna. Her beloved niece Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and her husband, Prince Consort Shining Armor. Celestia gave each of them a chipper morning greeting as she took a seat on her favourite cushion.

Due to a recent and fantastical event, usual Court proceedings had been cancelled and the royal group engaged in idle chatter as they waited for their newest guest to make an appearance. Small talk was something that most ponies took for granted, yet these four individuals usually had little time for such a thing, so as mundane as it seemed, to them it was like Hearth's Warming.

Once the great clock in the distance chimed ten times, the dining room door swung open as their unusual guest entered. While he only wore a simple buttoned white shirt and a pair of striped boxers, he strode in looking like a million bits. He winked to a cute maid pony as he took a seat next to Shining Armor and smiled widely at his new acquaintances.

"Good morning everyone!" Kai grinned. 

"Good morning Kai," Celestia replied. She gave the human a warm smile as a maid poured him some coffee. "I do hope you're adjusting to Equestrian life-"

Her sentence was cut off as the doors swung open once more, with much greater force this time. A frantic lavender Alicorn rushed in, her mane and tail were tussled and sticking out in places, and her wings looked like they could use a good preening.

"Hah... S-sorry everypony. I had some... uh, research that took all night... and most of the morning..." she chuckled nervously as she sat down at the table, trying to straighten her mane. "So uh, yeah. Morning everypony!"

"If you can still call it that," Shining retorted. He was a soldier and therefore used to rising before the sun and not sleeping until it had well and truly set. And while Twilight had never been much of a morning pony, this was still late for her. Shining looked at the human next to him and frowned. "The day is almost half over, just what have you been doing?"

Kai leaned in close to Shining as he pulled out a pair of sunglasses and slipped them onto his face. Shining's expression suddenly changed from annoyance to one of great shock.

"Your sister."
> Far from Home
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

When the bright sunlight pierced the thin space between the curtains, just enough to hit a certain human right in the eyes, he groaned as he placed a hand in front of his face.

“Mornings suck,” he muttered as he tried to stretch, but his other arm was pinned down by something. Something fluffy and very warm. He opened one eye and saw a ball of purple fur next to him and suddenly, last night’s memories came flooding back.

“Oh? Right. This is apparently a thing now,” Kai smiled to himself as he brushed a lock of her mane from her eyes. If someone had ever told him that he’d be in this situation, then he’d have regarded you as utterly insane, and in need of powerful medication… or taking less. Regardless, he didn’t regret his decision and gave the little alicorn a gentle kiss on the forehead, eliciting a small smile on her sleeping face. It was no wonder that he’d slept amazingly well, and thankfully had Luna-free dreams.

“I wonder what Mum and Dad would say if I could tell them I’m dating a pony,” Kai mused. There was a quiet knock on the door, forcing the human to groan and get up. Whoever it was had better have a good reason for knocking this early.

“Mornings should be banned,” he sighed. He grabbed the doorknob, briefly wondering how and why a hooved society even invented them. Opening the door revealed Flash Step and a small gathering of Twilight’s friends, all wearing expressions of concern.

“Mr. Human?” Pinkie asked. “Have you seen Twilight?”

Kai blinked, “Well…”

“She did not come back to her room last night,” Rarity added. “We’ve already checked the infirmary and her library… but we cannot find her anywhere!”

“The thing is…”

“We even looked in her lab, to make sure she wasn’t up all night studying,” Rainbow stated.

“Oh!? She was studying alright,” Kai chuckled to himself. But that laugh earned the pegasus’s ire. She hovered a few feet off of the ground, as so to look him in the eye.

“You find Twilight missing to be funny!?” she yelled at him. “Let’s see if you find my hoof in your face just as hilarious!”

She never got to follow through with her threat, as a sleepy Twilight Sparkle poked her head out from behind Kai.

“Who is making this Celestia-awful racket?” she murmured sleepily. All of her friends froze in shock, while a wide smirk crossed Flash’s muzzle. Oh yeah, she was never gonna let Kai live down this moment.

Twilight wondered why it had suddenly gone quiet and she rubbed a hoof in her eye to wake up a little more. Once she realised exactly who was at the door, she paused, blinked, shrieked and then pulled Kai back into the room, slamming the door behind them.

“Uh, is this one of those ‘it’s totally not what it looks like’ moments?” Rainbow asked.

“It certainly looks like something interesting has occurred,” Rarity giggled. 

Pinkie gasped and smiled. “Oh, you mean like how it totally looks like Kai-Kai and Twi-Twi did the horizontal tango?” 

Rarity sighed, used this sort of reaction from her. The other had various responses though.

“Oh…oh my…” Fluttershy was blushing a deep crimson and hid behind her mane while Rainbow fell out of the air, unable to remain flying, she was laughing so hard.

“Rainbow! T’ain't nice to laugh,” Applejack snickered. “We should be happy that Twahlight found herself a nice cuddle-monkey.”

Upon that remark, the two mares broke down into a fit of laughter, which Pinkie Pie joined in on as not to be left out. Rarity sighed again and resisted the urge to apply her well-manicured hoof to her face.

A few moments later, the door opened once more to reveal a fully-dressed Kai, and he looked a little dizzy too. Twilight’s mane was brushed, her feathers straightened and the tiredness gone from her eyes.

“Feel better?” Rarity couldn’t help but giggle lightly.

“Yes,” Twilight replied curtly. “You all saw nothing and you will not be telling the princesses, my brother or anyone else with a pulse for that matter. Not before we do at least.”

“Twilight, a lady does not kiss and tell,” Rarity nodded. “And none of us would dare say anything about something we can only speculate on. Right girls?”

Pinkie zipped her lips, while Fluttershy nodded meekly. Applejack and Rainbow Dash were still laughing though, earning a groan of annoyance from Twilight and Rarity.

“Well, three out of five ain’t bad,” Kai nodded, having recovered from the whirlwind of clothes that Twilight had magicked onto him. “And for the record, nothing much happened. Twilight and I are… testing the waters so to speak. This is something new and quite unusual for the both of us.”

“If you’re all quite done, the princesses are expecting you,” Flash Step spoke up, having refrained from commenting about the situation. She’d pick on her human friend later about it~

“Oh no,” Twilight gasped. “What do I do? I can’t hide anything from Princess Celestia.” She started to go on a tangent of what Celestia would supposedly do when she inevitably found out about her and Kai.

The human leaned down to Rarity, having determined that she was the most sensible and reasonable of Twilight’s friends. “Is she always like this?”
 
“Only when it comes to her dear teacher,” Rarity giggled as the pair watched the adorkable Alicorn flail away. “You must admit though, it is quite cute when she’s flustered.”

“Yup,” Kai smiled. He turned his attention back to his new girl... marefriend and kissed her on the top of the head. She suddenly froze and blushed as her friends giggled. “Well let’s go get breakfast shall we?” he suggested.





The ruler of the day sat calmly at the dining table, as seven mares and one human entered the room. Twilight seemed to be acting a little fidgety and Celestia easily recognised the behaviour as one of her tells that Twilight was hiding something. Princess Cadence smiled knowingly while Shining groused as he read the paper, sore over the fact that his hoofball team was losing.

Kai on the other hand, his face was quite unreadable. Celestia could blame it on the fact that he wasn’t a pony, or even closely resembled any other race on Equus. But his expression was quite neutral. He would greet anypony in the room with a friendly tone and took a seat next to Twilight.

“Sorry about the delay princess,” Twilight said. “I didn’t mean to sleep in like that.”

“There’s no rush, and you’re still recovering from a severe case of magical drain after all.” Celestia rang a small crystal bell as some waiters begun to bring out the food. “Did you sleep well Twilight?”

It was only a brief moment, a ‘blink and you’ll miss it’ sort but Celestia caught her student offer a quick glance at the human seated next to her.

“I slept wonderfully,” she sighed wistfully.

“Aha, so that’s how it is. Luna owes me ten bits, and her desserts for the next week!” Celestia smiled to herself. “Well I am glad to see you feeling better my student.”

Twilight blinked and then nodded slowly. Had she truly pulled the wool over her teacher’s eyes? For his part, Kai simply ate his breakfast in silence after greeting the table guests. The dining hall opened and a unicorn stallion with piercing blue eyes and a blonde mane and tail entered the room. Kai glanced in his direction, swearing he recognised him from somewhere.

The stallion’s reaction was a little more interesting. When he saw Kai, his white coat turned a little whiter as he whimpered and dove behind Celestia.

“Why is the brain-eating zombie at the breakfast table Auntie!?”

Everyone suddenly stopped eating and looked at the panicked Blueblood. Was-was he serious? Flash Step stood to one side of the room, whistling innocently as Kai just groaned and facepalmed.

“Blueblood!” Celestia said sternly. Her voice wasn’t raised, but still carried authority. It was certainly enough to make the stallion cowering behind her flinch. “Don’t be so rude to our guest. You will apologise and then act like a grown stallion!” 

“I... but...?” he lasted all of about a second under the Alicorn’s gaze and withered. He gave a look at the human, currently stuffing his face with pancakes. “I suppose upon closer inspection, he doesn’t appear harmful...” The stallion offered a look towards his sister, who suddenly found the ceiling very interesting.

“Oh? You little... I will see you pay for this embarrassment.”

Blueblood cleared his throat and flashed his charming smile. “Well, it appears that we have gotten off on the wrong hoof.” His facade faltered when Kai gave him a look that just screamed, ‘You think!?’

“Y-Yes, well...” he spared a glance at the rest of the table. The white Unicorn he’d jilted at the Gala way back when held a grudge like nopony’s business, giving the stallion a scowl in return. The rest of her friends weren’t much better.

“It’s alright,” Kai finally said, breaking the awkward silence. “I’m pretty different from you guys, so I can’t expect everyone to react calmly. Don’t worry about it...?” What was his name again?

“Prince Blueblood,” he replied, holding out a hoof.

“Kai,” the human responded, taking his hoof and shaking it. “Nice to meet you Prince.”

Twilight smiled as she bit into her toast. It was amazing, Kai was so averse to making friends, but since arriving in Equestria, he’d already made two... all by himself.

“Indeed, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance also.” Blueblood nodded as he took a seat on the opposite side of Kai. “So, if I may ask... exactly what are you?”

“Not a zombie,” Kai chuckled. “Ah, don’t worry about it. It was a good prank,” he leaned in close and smirked. “And we can totally get her back later~”

Blueblood shared his dark chuckle and a shiver went up Flash Step’s spine. That laugh signaled unfortunate things in her future...

“Anyways, to answer your question. I’m a human, and I crossed over from another world thanks to love, rainbows and all that. So I could save Twilight here from a terrible fate.”

“Ah, I had heard that Princess Twilight had been hospitalised a few days ago,” Blue nodded. While it had been kept very quiet, he had heard that the Princess had gone missing for quite some time, and was injured upon her arrival back to the castle. “So you are the reason for her now apparent good health?”

“I helped anyway,” Kai nodded, placing a hand on Twilight's shoulder and giving it a soft rub. The mare sighed, causing a chorus of giggles from her friends and a cocked eyebrow from Shining Armor. Kai suddenly realised what he was doing and let her go. Twilight sighed and pouted slightly, turning back to her breakfast.

“I see, well, thank you for saving Our Princess,” Blue smiled at him. He stood up and brushed some dust from his foreleg. “Well I have a few commitments to attend to. Perhaps... we might talk again soon?”

Kai smile and shook his hoof again. “Sure, sounds fun Blue.” The stallion blinked at the informality and nodded, before turning and leaving the room. Rarity made an audible sigh once he had.

“Well, he seems like a much more pleasant stallion,” she scoffed. “Nothing like the so called ‘Prince’ that I met at the Gala!”

“Are you still going on about that?” Rainbow retorted with a weary groan. “That was like, ages ago.”

Rarity just shrugged and turned back to her breakfast, sipping at her tea. She failed to notice the deadly glares that Flash Step was shooting at her though. 

Twilight just chuckled and as she raised her own teacup, she suddenly gasped and dropped it, the contents would have spilled all over the table were it not for Celestia’s quick reaction, snaring the cup and liquid in her magical aura.

She looked at the suddenly surprised mare. “Twilight, what’s the matter?” 

“Spike!” she suddenly shouted. “Wh-Where is he? I haven’t seen him since I woke up and he must think I’ve abandoned him and ohh what will I- Mmmph?” Her tirade was silenced with Kai pressing his hand over her muzzle.

“Twilight. Calm. Deep breath.” he stated. The mare nodded and her pulled his hand away, with her following his instruction. “Okay, now. Who is Spike?”

“He’s my number one assistant and little brother,” she replied, though her voice cracked a little. “He’s always been by my side, no matter what. But, I haven’t seen him since I woke up and with everything going on... ohh, I’m terrible.”

“You can relax,” Celestia replied. “The reason you haven’t seen him is because I sent him to Ponyville for a special assignment. I have been keeping him up to date with everything that has happened however-” she was cut off when a scroll flashed into existence, causing Kai to jump back in surprise. 

“Well, speaking off Spike,” Celestia smiled as she returned Twilight’s teacup, along with the scroll. Twilight wasted no time in opening it and reading the contents out loud.

Dear Twilight

I’ve been told you woke up and are feeling a lot better now. I’m really happy to hear that! I was so worried.

And also, you have a new friend from that world you visited? I can’t wait to meet ‘em.

If you haven’t been told, I’m in Ponyville at the moment, but I should be back sometime tonight. I can’t wait to see you and the rest of the girls again. It’s... been a while since we were all together...

That part caused a series of flinches and awkward glances amongst the six mares. It was true that they had drifted apart a little, and while Twilight had become the most isolated, the rest had let their relationships dwindle as well.

As for why I’m here, it’s a secret and yes, I know that you not knowing is going to drive you nuts. Consider it punishment for making me worry so much.

I’ll see you later.

Lots of love,

Spike.

Twilight put the letter down, as tears begun to drop onto the page. She caused everypony so much worry, and Spike most of all. She glanced up when she felt a hand on her withers again, to see Kai smiling at her.

“He sounds like a pretty great guy,” he said brightly. “I can’t wait to meet him.”

“Yeah...” Twilight said quietly, leaning into him and the embrace that followed. Her friends giggled and cooed again as Shining’s eyebrow considered taking a permanent vacation further up his brow. Was it just him? Or did Twiley and this human seem a little too close for ‘just friends’?

After a brief moment of hugging, the pair parted to find everypony at the table looking at them. There was an awkward cough in the background as the couple blinked back at them.

“What?” Kai asked.

“Well,” the teapot suddenly asked in an all too familiar voice. “I assume they’re all wondering how and when you two lovebirds hooked up!”

Twilight and Kai shared equal looks of blushing and confusion as the teapot spoke. Shining narrowed his gaze as he looked a the pair.

“Is what this teapot says true?” he asked in a serious tone. “Are you two...?”

“W-Well,” Twilight gulped, staring at the offending porcelain object. How dare it just blurt it out like that! What was it’s problem!?

“Before that,” Kai raised a hand to garner some attention. “Shouldn’t we all discuss why it suddenly became a Disney movie in here?”

“Oh please, I’d rather not drag a song-and-dance routine into this,” the teapot sighed wearily. “I’m much too busy for something like that.” There was a bright flash of light and Discord lay across the table. He reached across and plucked the strawberry from Celestia’s breakfast and ate it, much to the Alicorn’s dismay.

“I was saving that!” she pouted. “And what are you doing here? Other than ruining my breakfast and embarrassing my student?

“Ah, well I was bored and thought I’d save them the time,” Discord shrugged. “I mean, it’s what friends do right? Help each other out?”

“I don’t need your help telling everypony who I choose to date!” Twilight yelled before blushing and putting her hooves to her lips. “Wait! I mean- um...”

“Twiley?” Shining asked as Fluttershy glared at a now withering Discord. “Is-Is this true?”

Before she could respond, Kai cleared his throat. “Yes. Twilight and I have started a romantic relationship. I understand that this might be considered strange, and I’ll be the first to agree, this is really weird for us as well. But, well the heart wants what it wants. Neither of us can guarantee that this will end in happiness and rainbows and all that. But, we’re willing to give it a shot.”

Shining Armor blinked, as Cadence squeed in happiness, leaping across the table to hug her little sister. Shining shook his head to sort his thoughts a little and pointed at the human.

“You. Me. Walk. Now!”

The human nodded as Twilight struggled against Cadence’s deathgrip. “Wait!” she managed to call out. “What are you- ACK! Too tight!”

“Don’t worry, I think he just wants to talk... I hope,” Kai nodded, rather unsure of his own reassurance. “Hopefully I’ll be back soon. If not, love you Twi.”

Twilight blushed as Cadance squeed again, causing the smaller Alicorn in her gasp to turn a deeper shade of purple.

Kai smiled and followed the Unicorn, he really hoped that talking was on the agenda today. 





The only sound that echoed through the almost empty halls was one set of footsteps and one set of hoofsteps. Kai couldn’t tell what the stallion was thinking, his face was like chiseled granite. He turned his gaze away when Shining’s eye briefly flicked in his direction. 

Shining’s thoughts were along the same lines. He couldn’t tell what this ‘human’ was thinking. His odd features made Shining’s training useless and he couldn’t for the life of him fathom what Twilight saw in him.

“So,” he finally said, causing Kai to flinch lightly. “You and Twilight?”

“Me and Twilight,” Kai nodded. “I never saw it coming actually. Until last night, I never knew what Twilight felt, and to be honest, I still don’t really know. I’m so different from you ponies, I’m not all that sociable and I don’t make friends easily.” The more Kai thought, the more he was beginning to question this. At least until Shining spoke again.

“Do you regret it?”

Kai blinked, his train of thought lost. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Do you regret entering this... relationship with Twilight?” Shining elaborated. “Is it something you’d rather take back?”

“No,” Kai replied without hesitating. “Not a chance in hell!”

Shining turned to look at him, a small scowl on his face. “Are you sure? You sounded pretty hesitant just before.”

“Because I don't want to screw it up,” Kai replied back, his own scowl setting in. “I want to make sure I can give her what she deserves. I don’t know if I can, but I’m sure as hell going to try.”

Shining looked at for a moment more, before snorting dismissively. “I wonder about that. But-” His scowl vanished, a small smile on his muzzle. “-But it’s good to see that you have some conviction.”

“I can only try right?” Kai replied as he looked out a window. He fell silent as he looked out over the city, the stalwart Unicorn soon joining him. “Canterlot is a beautiful city, isn’t it?” He asked the unicorn.

“It really is,” he nodded in response. “It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen before. The Crystal Empire is great, but this is home...”

Those words left a small pang in Kai’s heart. His mind wandered to his small apartment, his job, his... well, one friend, good acquaintance... whatever Mike was.

A sudden shout from the dining hall caused both males to groan and facepalm/hoof.

“Ten bucks says that Twilight’s freaked out over nothing,” Kai muttered as they headed back. 

“Yeah... not gonna take that bet,” Shining groaned. His horn lit up and several gold coins dropped into the human’s pocket in his jeans. Kai took one out and looked at it. It had Celestia’s face on one side and Luna’s on the other. The Royal Mint of Equestria was engraved around the outer rim and the coin itself was quite heavy.

“Is... this gold?” he asked.

“Yeah, why?” Shining replied as they walked. 

“Huh...” Kai shrugged and pocketed the coin again. “Just another day in the Bizarro Universe.”

Shining didn’t even bother responding to the snarky comment and the two walked back into the room, just in time to catch Twilight in mid-freakout.

“Feh, knew I’d lose that bet,” Shining scoffed. “Twiley! What’s got your tail in a twist?”

“Oh, no reason,” Twilight replied, her right eye twitching dangerously. “It’s just Princess Celestia shipping me off to Ponyville. Again! I’m in the middle of important research, and now...”

“And now you have to spend time with your friends?” Kai finished her sentence, the Alicorn pausing as that piece of information sank in.

“Oh...”

“Yeah, ‘Oh’,’ Kai replied as he looked at the faces of the other five mares. “My guess is that your Princess there wants you to get something back that you used to have, no?”

“I... ah...” Twilight’s words failed to come. She’d done it again, chosen her research over her friends. What kind of mare was she? And the human who had trouble even making friends saw it almost instantly. 

“So what’s happening exactly?” Kai asked. “Will I have to stay here in the castle?”

“No,” Celestia replied. “You may go with Twilight if you like. Ponyville is a small town filed with friendly ponies. It should be the perfect place to introduce you to ponykind.”

“And we’ll be there to help as well darling,” Rarity smiled. 

“Yeah, if you’re friends with me, then you're awesome by default,” Rainbow added. “Plus Ponyville has seen a lot weirder.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” Applejack nodded. “Y’all are gonna fit in like a tree in an orchard!”

“All of your research and ‘special projects’ will be moved to your old home in Ponyville,” Celestia informed her. “I know I organised this in secret, but I truly do believe that this will be a good thing.”

“I know,” Twilight replied. “I... ignored my friends for so long... I just hope...” She looked at the mares and smiled softly. “I just hope there’s still a friendship to salvage.”

“Of course there is silly~” Pinkie giggled. “OH! I can totally throw a Welcome to Ponyville. Again!’ party!! It’s gonna be funa fun fuu~uuun!” She paused mid-bounce and looked at Kai. “And I get to throw you one to! Double the fun!!”

Luna’s ear twitched at that remark, but said nothing.

“Then you best prepare,” Celestia smiled. “I believe that a train leaves shortly, and you would want to keep Spike waiting no?”

“I have a question Miss Celestia,” Kai asked, raising his hand.

“Heh, yes Kai?” the Alicorn giggled. 

“Unless you have your own train station in here, how do I get to the station without being seen and freaking everyone out?”

“Well, I do not possess a station here,” Celestia remarked. I really should do that. It sounds fun. “Hmm, actually, I’m not sure. Twilight? Do you have an idea?”

Twilight blinked, then a smile crossed her face. One that caused shivers up kai’s spine. That was not the smile of his cute, adorkable princess. That was the grin of a very vengeful mare...

“Oh, I have the perfect idea~” she grinned. 

Later, Kai would really wish that he’d run for the hills.





It was hard, it was so hard to not laugh. Rainbow Dash had no such problem as she rolled around on the station platform, laughing her flank off.

“OH mannnaaahahahahahaaa!” Rainbow howled. “This-this is just the bestthingeverr!!!”

Most of the mares had stifled giggles, even the sweet and demure Fluttershy suddenly found the clouds interesting, the corners of her mouth twitching.

“What goes around, comes around, eh Kai?” Twilight smiled, as the human squatted next to her, wearing a cartoonish-looking dog costume.

“...Fuck you Sparkle,” he grumbled.

“Ah-ah-ah,” Twilight waved a hoof. “Good little doggies are supposed to say woof.”

“...Fuck you Sparkle... woof.” Kai muttered again. In the back of his mind, he wondered how Pinkie Pie had gotten this costume so easily.

A sharp whistle sounded and Kai saw what must have been the most ridiculous-looking train he had ever seen. It looked like it came straight out of the pink aisles of the girls toy section.

“You have got to be kidding me..” he groaned. “We are not seriously going to ride on that thing right?”

“You are really bitter this afternoon huh?” Twilight smiled. “And yes, we will ride the Friendship Express all the way to Ponyville.” Upon the mention of the trains name, Dog-Kai flopped onto the platform and groaned loudly.

“You are an evil mare and I am so done with this place...” Kai sighed.

“C’mon puppy, we’re going home!” Twilight giggled, either not hearing him, or just ignoring him.

“...Goddam ponies,” Kai sighed, walking onto the train and ignoring the stares he was getting, as other equines backed away from the bipedal canine. 

“Remember what I said~?” Twilight sang out.

“........woof,” Kai replied. Oh, you are so getting yours later!
> New Town, New Friends, New Problems.
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The train gave a shrill whistle as it pulled in to Ponyville station. Several ponies on board wasted no time in disembarking, eager to get away from the strange creature that accompanied Twilight and her friends.
 
When somepony had asked about him, Twilight had claimed he was something called a ‘Diamond Dog’ and the pony had seemed satisfied enough with the response.
 
Several ponies were waiting for them when they returned, in particular, three fillies that quickly ran over to Applejack, Rarity and Rainbow Dash.
 
“You’re finally back!” the white Unicorn said excitedly, her horn showering emerald-green sparks. “I thought you’d still be a few days though?”
 
“Well,” Rarity coughed lightly as the orange Pegasus noticed Kai and tilted her head.
 
“Uh, what the heck is that?”
 
“A friend of Twilight’s,” Rainbow replied quickly, before snickering. The mare wasn’t buying it however, as she walked closer to inspect the costumed human.
 
“Yeah… something smells fishy,” she replied, as Kai looked down at her.
 
“Hey, I shower everyday actually!” the sudden speech caused Scootaloo to let out a surprised yelp and duck behind RD, pointing a shaking hoof at it.
 
“Sweet Celestia! It talks!?”
 
“It’s clearly a costume,” Sweetie Belle sighed. “I can see the poor stitching from here…”
 
“Aw, and I worked hard on this one,” Pinkie sighed, as Applebloom patted her on the back with a sympathetic hoof.
 
“Well, it a very… er, nice costume?” she said hesitantly. “But uh, who’s inside it?”
 
“Well, it’s Twilight’s very spec-“ Pinkie’s explanation was cut off by Rarity’s hoof, as the elegant mare gave a nervous chuckle.
 
“A very special friend, whose identity must remain secret for now,” she said, before giving the mare’s a threatening glare. “And you girls won’t be telling anypony, yes?”
 
The three in question stood side-by-side and stared up at Kai. Their scrutinizing gaze was equal parts terrifying and cute, and Kai just tilted his head.
 
“Woof?”
 
“Y’all got a lot of explainin’ t’do,” Applebloom said slowly. Kai wondered how old they were, given that they were much smaller than the rest of the mares present. They still bore Cutie Marks though, and Kai wondered what special talents they had.
 
“I promise girls,” Twilight finally spoke up as she stepped forward. “Just me give me a few days to re-adjust-EEP!?” The Alicorn was suddenly assaulted in a three-way hug, the giggling mares piling atop of her.
 
“I can’t believe you’re back!” Sweetie giggled. We missed you!”
 
“Yeah, but in like, a totally cool way,” Scootaloo added, but leaned into the hug regardless.
 
“Ah know Spike said that y’all might be comin’ back with Sis and the others, but it’s still really good to see ya!” Applebloom finished, and Twilight just smiled and hugged them back.
 
“I know I have a lot to apologise for,” Twilight replied. Her eyes widened a little when she looked at them and their flanks in particular. “And all three of you have your Cutie Marks… I can’t believe I missed that.”
 
“It’s alright,” Sweetie replied. That had been the most amazing day, when all three fillies had finally gotten their Marks. “We’ll tell you all about it sometime.”
 
“And they will,” Rarity sighed. “Over, and over, and over…”
 
“Woof?” Kai replied, causing Twilight to facehoof. That was all he had said since he got on the train, using various tones and pitches in his voice. He sounded like one of those Pokémon he liked.
 
“This is Applebloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.” Twilight introduced the three mares. “You’ll meet them later, once we’ve gotten you settled.”
 
After another round of curious and questioning stares, most of the ponies had gone their own ways, leaving just Twilight and Kai alone on the train station. Promises had been made to meet up tomorrow, with Pinkie saying something about a party.
 
The stares of random ponies continued to follow Kai and then human wondered of this suit really made him inconspicuous. And when Twilight stifled a small giggled when somepony screamed and slammed their door, he knew she was getting her revenge on him.
 
“Heh, this place hasn’t changed a bit,” she smiled. She turned back to the irate human and pointed to a large tree in the not-to-distant distance. “We’re almost home and you can take it off.”
 
Kai just scoffed as he followed her, wondering why they were heading for a tree of all places. At least until they reached the base of the tree and Kai realised why they were here. The thing had a front door, windows and a balcony or two.
 
“This… this is a house?” he asked, the little kid in him was getting a little excited, remembering his days building his own treehouse.
 
“It’s a library actually,” Twilight replied. “But it was also my home while I lived here in Ponyville." It was then that Kai recognised the place. He’d been here when he and Twilight shared their memories.
 
He also made a mental note to stay faaaar away from the basement…
 
When Twilight opened the door, Kai followed her inside, only to pause and take a good look around. He looked at the bookshelves that were carved into the very walls themselves, to the high ceilings and sparse furniture.
 
There was a tugging sensation around his head, as the dog costume was pulled free by Twilight’s magic. She giggled at the sight of his hair sticking out in every direction, as he returned a more deadpan expression.
 
“Had your fun now?” he asked dryly. “Because that was not fun. Not in the slightest.”
 
“Aw, it was pretty fun for me,” Twilight smiled as he helped him take the rest of the outfit off. While he was still wearing his normal clothes underneath, the Alicorn still had a slight blush as she undressed him.
 
As she tried to pull the bottom half off, she tugged a bit too hard with her magic, causing the human to stumble and topple over, landing on the pony princess with a hard thud.
 
“Owww…” Twilight groaned and tried rubbing her head, but the human leaning over her had her limbs pinned, his eyes only a few inches from her own. A blush adorned both of their faces as neither said anything, just staring at one another as their lips drew closer…
 
“Hey Twilight-WOAH?” The voice of a young male broke the silence between the two and Kai quickly picked himself up, looking anywhere except at the other two individuals. Twilight was beet red and her mouth opened and closed a few times, no sound coming out.
 
Spike on the other hand, just stared at Kai with wide eyes. He’d been told everything through written correspondence from Princess Celestia, but to actually see the human with his own eyes? He almost couldn’t believe it.
 
“So… you’re the human huh?” he said, getting Kai’s attention. When the human saw the dragon standing there, his first thought consisted of a spherical red and white object, but…
 
“A dragon?” was all he said. Yeah, not exactly Shakespeare, but seriously? A dragon!?
 
“Last time I checked I was,” Spike laughed. “And you’re a human. So…” He looked at Kai, then at Twilight. “Uh, she did tell you about me didn’t she?” A moment of silence told the dragon everything he needed to hear. “Well, that’s just great…”
 
“It has been a hectic couple of days,’ Kai replied. He brushed some dust from his hands and walked over to the dragon. “My name is Kai. It’s nice to meet you…?”
 
“Spike,” he replied with a toothy grin. He extended a scaled claw and Kai took it, shaking it firmly. “So, awkward first impressions aside…” His smiled widened and his eyes sparkled. “What was that all about? You two looked pretty cozy.”
 
Twilight just blushed again and hid her head in her wings. Kai chuckled and decided it was his turn to explain.
 
“Well, Twilight and I…” Kai cleared his throat and continued. “We became friends back on Earth, and since arriving in Equestria, we’ve decided to see about taking that friendship a little further, so to speak.”
 
Spike stood there silently, as he processed what Kai meant by that. He pointed to Twilight, “So you-“ and then his claw motioned towards Kai “-And you… are, a thing. Like, a romantic thing?”
 
“You, might say that,” Twilight blushed, her voice was doing an admirable impression of Fluttershy.
 
Spike’s eyes softened and his smile widened. “Well it’s about time you found somepony-some…whatever it is you call your special someponies.” He folded his arms and nodded his head proudly. “Princess Sparkle’s finally gettin’ some!”
 
“SPIKE!?” Twilight yelled, her face was an endless field of crimson. “I-I can’t believe…” she sighed and fell to the floor, the amount of embarrassment she could take was past its limit.
 
“And now my revenge for you making me worry is complete,” Spike nodded once more. “And with that, I’ll get dinner started before she comes around and tries to vaporise me.” He chuckled lightly as he headed for what Kai assumed was the kitchen. It was all so surreal, a land filled with talking ponies, dragons, magic?
 
He wondered if he was going to wake up from the dream at some point, or at least suffer from some sort of horrific mental breakdown.
 
Yeah, not a chance. This place was too damned cute for something like that. The worst he could see happening was a horrible cavity or incurable diabetes.
 
Well, there are worse ways to go.
 



 
Dinner had been a simple affair. The tomato soup that Spike had made was amazing! Seriously, he could rule the world with cooking skills like that…
 
Or at least have his own reality TV show.
 
Tomorrow was going to be a little crazy. There were preparations for a formal announcement about Kai, so that he might actually be able to go outside as himself. Twilight was busy writing a speech and Kai had been introduced to an older mare named Mayor Mare.
 
No prizes for guessing what her profession was.
 
As Kai was on the couch, wondering if mothers in this rainbow-fueled world had prophetic visions about their children’s futures, or if they simply changed their names once they got a profession, Spike was preparing a place for him to sleep. He’d long since outgrown his basket, but as a small joke, Twilight had bought him a proper bed… that looked like a giant basket.
 
Spike would never admit how okay with that he truly was.
 
“So would the couch be alright?” he asked the human. “The library really only has one room. The storage room was cleared out to make room for me, and the only other place is the basement…”
 
Kai froze up at the mention of that place. “Yeah… let’s go with no on the basement. The couch will be fine Spike.”
 
“Cool…” The dragon twiddled his fingers before looking at the human again. Kai read the atmosphere and sat up straight, groaning slightly.
 
“Okay, what do you wanna know?” he asked. “I imagine you have a million questions.”
 
“I guess I have a few,” Spike said as he took a seat. “Like, how did you and Twilight meet?”
 
The human nodded and decided the beginning was the best place to start. For the next hour or so, he told Spike everything that had happened up until today. From Twilight’s sudden arrival, her impressions of the human world and her role she played in Kai opening up and learning to make friends.
 
“She has that effect on ponies, er, I guess humans as well huh?” Spike chuckled lightly. In return, the drake had told Kai a lot of his own stories, from the time he and Twilight had first come to Ponyville, to the bookish Unicorn’s ascension to an Alicorn. He spoke of time he had saved an entire empire, and the crush he had on Rarity. He told of the time he finally confessed… and she had confessed that she loved Pinkie. It was Spike who played a role in getting the two together.
 
“Sounds like you’ve had a pretty interesting life,” Kai said as they sipped on some drinks that the dragon had gotten for them. Twilight was still bust working on tomorrow’s preparations, checking her checklists and filing her flashcards.
 
“So what do you see in her?” Spike asked as they watched her pace about, muttering something about contingencies and damage control. “I don’t mean any offense, but you aren’t… well…”
 
“A pony,” Kai finished. “Yeah, I know, it’s a little weird for me as well.” He had mentioned how Earth had its own equivalent of ponies and horses. The dragon had offered a small shudder at the stark differences.
 
“But, I already know she isn’t anything like the ones on Earth, and well…” Kai paused to find the right words. “She didn’t give up on me I suppose. I tried dating a couple of times back home. But I found them too… what’s the word?” He tapped his chin as he thought. “Well, none of them sat right with me you know. Once they found out what I was worth financially, or that my hobbies were considered childish… But Twilight?” He looked at the pacing mare, even as she wore a track into the floor. “She is who she is. She makes no effort to hide herself and she tries so hard to help anyone who needs it. She’s no mere animal to me, and she’s so much more than a person. She’s beautiful, inside and out.”
 
Spike just sat there and Twilight’s ear gave a small flick as she stopped pacing, that last part was heard over her muttered dialogue and her face flushed a deep crimson.
 
“…Dude, that’s just…” Spike finally spoke. “Wow, that was so sappy~”
 
“Oh shut up!” Kai blushed, realising what he’d just said.
 
“Nope, I’m pretty sure the Cutie Mark Crusaders have seen less sap than that,” Spike laughed. Twilight had buried her face in a book, as to hide the fierce blush that refused to leave her muzzle. 

Spike gave another laugh as he headed towards his bedroom. “Well, I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone. We have a lot to do tomorrow, right Twi?”

The Alicorn just squeaked and nodded, before teleporting to her room.

“Heh,” Spike chuckled again and disappeared into his own room. He thought about sending his own marefriend a letter, wondering if was too late.

Ah well, she liked it when he wrote to her~

Once the two Equestrians had retired to bed, Kai just lay on the couch and stared at the ceiling. It was weird, shouldn’t he be more freaked out about this? Another world, dragons and ponies, ones that moved the very stars themselves.

“Either the internet had jaded me more than I thought, or my freakout will come later and will be beyond epic,” he laughed dryly. He honestly had no idea where he should go from here. Did he even want to go home? Sure, all his stuff was there, but in the end, it was just stuff. He had some friends here, perhaps he could get a job, did they have video games in Equestria?

Okay, a world without video games was a terrifying thought. But Twilight said she’d be able to get him back home. But, would he be able to come back to Equestria again? Was this going to be one of those cliche stories where he’d have a whirlwind adventure here, then just wind up returning to his regular life back on Earth. Honestly? He’d gotten used to the brand of crazy that Twilight had brought into his life.

Speaking of Twilight... Kai looked upstairs and smiled mischievously. Time for surprise hugs!




 
It was another perfect morning in Equestria, but when you could control the weather, did anything else even exist?
 
Despite the clear, blue skies, the radiant sun and the smiling faces of the happy ponies around town, Kai was perfectly content to lie in this perfectly fluffy bed and hug his perfect little pony.
 
And she was content to receive those hugs. She’d been a little surprised at the sneak attack last night, but she wasn’t complaining~ 

At least until somepony knocked loudly on the library's front door. Kai growled as he slowly rose, swearing righteous vengeance on all doors. He gave Twilight one last hug and a kiss on the tip of her horn before heading out of the room and downstairs.
 
The town had better be on fire or an ancient evil was stealing the souls of foals. The human paused and blinked. Wow, he was morbid in the morning.
 
He opened the front door by a slight margin, if only to peek at who was there. A large pair of magenta eyes stared back, one partially hidden by a prismatic hued mane.
 
“Are you guys still asleep?” Rainbow Dash huffed as she leaned on the door, pushing her way inside.
 
“Please, do come in,” Kai replied dryly as the Pegasus snorted and shrugged her shoulders.
 
“Don’t worry,” Twilight called out as she appeared at the top of the staircase. “That was probably her most civil entrance to any sort of building I have ever witnessed.” Rainbow snorted as Twilight descended the stairs. “Have you mellowed out in your old age Dashie?”
 
“You’re older than me, Twilight Snarkle,” Rainbow retorted. “And I was sent to fetch you guys. You’re running late for that party of Pinkie’s.”
 
“Late?” Twilight blinked. How early was this party? As much fun as they were, she wasn’t really up for one first thing in the morning.
 
“Yeah, it’s unusual for you of all ponies to sleep past noon,” Rainbow nodded. That was her thing. “Lemme guess, you lovebirds were up late~”
 
The joke flew over Twilight’s head as her eyes widened. “Noon? It’s already noon!?”
 
“Yeah,” Rainbow nodded. “Pretty much everypony is already there. Do you have any idea how hard it was to convince Pinkie to keep the guest list small? Even though she’s with Rarity now, it hasn’t done much to rein her in.”

“It’s Pinkie Pie,” Twilight said as she headed back upstairs for a quick shower. “I don’t think anypony could do that.”

“I dunno,” Kai shrugged. “She seems normal enough for me. No more weirder than the rest of you anyway.”

Rainbow chuckled as she raided Twilight’s fridge, pulling out a soda. “Oh, you have no idea...I guess ignorance is bliss.”

“Rule one of Ponyville!” Twilight called out from upstairs. “Never, EVER question Pinkie Pie!”

“You actually remember that?” Rainbow called out. “And here I figured that Princess Sparkle forgot all about us plebs.”

There was no response as Kai groaned and flicked Rainbow’s ear as he walked past her. The Pegasus frowned as she rubbed the appendage. “What was that for?”

“She feels bad enough,” Kai said as he poked around in the fridge until he found what he hoped was orange juice. “So please don’t go rubbing salt in the wound, okay?”

Rainbow flinched when she realised what she’d said. She was still sore that Twilight had all but abandoned them to resume her magical studies. Her friends had missed her at first, but they were to blame for drifting apart just as much. 

“Yeah, sorry Twi,” she called out, and may have shrieked like a little filly when Twilight teleported right in front of her.

“You’re forgiven,” Twilight grinned at the amusing reaction, before grabbing a washcloth and giving Kai a kiss on the cheek before teleporting back upstairs again.

“Y-Yeah, okay, I’ll pay that one,” Rainbow chuckled nervously. Kai then also realised something. His clothes, they needed a wash, but he had failed to pack another set. 

“All whole dimension away and I forget to pack an overnight bag,” he said as he took a drink, happy that it at least tasted like orange juice. Who knows what was what here in Ponyland.

Another flash and a yelp from rainbow saw a dripping wet Twilight in front of Kai. 

“Stop doing that!” Rainbow groaned, but her plea fell on deaf ears.

“Oh yes, forgot to mention,” she said to the human. “Spike went out yesterday and bought you a toothbrush and some things like that. If you’re worried about your clothes, just wash them in the shower. I know a quick dry spell for after.”

“Ah, cool,” Kai nodded. Truth was that he was only half-listening as he discovered something new about ponies. 

They totally rocked the ‘wet hair’ look. 

“Well, come upstairs when you're ready, I’ll keep the shower running for you,” she gave him another quick peck and vanished again.

“Dude...” Rainbow said as Twilight disappeared. “You are one lucky stallion you know that?”

“Yup,” Kai nodded as he stared at the spot where Twilight had been.





“So, what should I expect for a...’Pinkie Party’ was it?” Kai asked the two ponies as they walked towards Sugarcube Corner.

“Sudden surprises, loud noises, lots of cake and punch...and Pinkie Pie herself,” Rainbow said. "Aside from that, her parties are a blast. Just enjoy yourself big guy.”

“I suppose I can do that,” he nodded. He wasn’t going to admit that this was his first ever party. While he had had birthday parties, or the occasional Christmas one, this would be his first real ‘party’.

And the fact that so many kinds that could all just be classified with the same name made him snort in amusement.

“Something funny?” Twilight asked, looking up at him.

“Nah, just thinking that the English language is weird...” he replied. “Well, English/Equestrian in this case.”

“What’s so weird about it?” she replied, with Rainbow sighing in response. Even after all this time, she just knew that an egghead lecture was right around the corner.

“Well it’s just-” Kai turned a corner and bumped into someone, well, somepony in this case. “Oh? Sorry...” then he realised. This was out in the open. Where any pony could see him. The one he had bumped into was a fuchsia-coloured mare with a strawberry pink mane that reminded Kai of ice-cream. 

“Cheerilee?” Twilight said, then gasped as the mare laid eyes on Kai. She had been so focused on conversation and the like, she had forgotten all about hiding Kai from general view.

“Ah...what...are you?” the mare said slowly as she got to her hooves and stepped back a bit. Princess Twilight and Rainbow Dash were here, so was it something friendly? She suddenly flinched as the creature seemed to fold its legs underneath it as Kai knelt down to look her in the eyes. How did it do that without a tail to balance itself?

“My name is Kai,’ he said in a friendly tone. The last thing he needed was to terrify the populace, and this mare seemed alright for now. “It’s nice to meet you Miss...?”

“C-Cheerilee,” she stammered. Well, she wasn’t running away. So...progress?

“Well then Miss Cheerilee. I’m a friend of the Princess there, so I’ll be around for a while.”

“I-I see...” she said with wide eyes. She shot a glance at Dash and Twilight, who smiled and nodded. So...this was the Zecora thing all over again? But...what was this thing?

“We’ll explain later Cheers,” Rainbow said with a smile. “Unless you aren’t busy, cause you could always swing by Pinkie’s place.”

“Um...that’s okay, I have...things, at the place,” she mumbled as she ran off. Though, she did pause for a moment to look back at them.

“Progress?” Kai asked.

“Progress,” Twilight smiled.





Kai’s eye gave a twitch as he saw the building that he’d been taken to. It looked like something out of a storybook, though, that seemed to be par for the course in Equestria.

“I swear, if I walk in there and I see a witch, I am setting her ass on fire,” Kai muttered as they got closer to the gingerbread house.

Twilight just looked at him and shook her head. “You won’t find any ‘witches’ here Kai. So don’t worry.”

“Yup, just Pinkie Pie...which is sooo much worse,” Rainbow chuckled as she placed her hooves on his back and pushed him towards the door. “I hope you're prepared for this big guy.”

“Do I have a choice?” he asked and both mares grinned at one another as Twilight’s hooves joined Rainbow’s.

“Nope!’ they smiled and pushed him inside.

> This day just keeps getting better.
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kai wasn’t sure what he was expecting when he stumbled into that bakery. Maybe more of that Cheery Leaf pony, that was her name right? Whatever, maybe something along the lines of what happened when he and Twilight first met?

When he finished taking a few awkward steps, he turned to shoot a glare at Twilight and Rainbow Dash before turning to take a look at his new surroundings. First was the decorations, which reminded him of every stereotyped children's party ever. Balloons, streamers and enough sweets to give a diabetic an attack just by looking at them.

Then he saw a lot of ponies that were staring at him with various states of terror. Hmm, maybe their vision was movement based? Don’t move and they can’t see you.

It only took one pony to scream, before most of the herd charged from the bakery, desperate to hide in their homes and away from the strange creature.

“Shoulda brought the damned dog suit,” Kai muttered as he sighed. Well, that went well. Twilight and Rainbow Dash entered, wondering what had caused the panic, only to see their friend looking just a little downtrodden.

Pinkie Pie… wasn’t sure what to think. One one hoof, she was super mad at her friends for running off like that, but at the same time, she could kinda see their point. Aside from her friends that had remained, the only other ponies there were Sweetie, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom.

“So uh… who...or what,” Apple Bloom started as she pointed at Kai. “Is this?”

“My friend from another dimension,” Twilight stated as plainly as possible. “When I got into a little bit of trouble, he somehow came all the way to Equestria to save me.”

“Aww, how romantic,” Sweetie Belle cooed, earning a blush from the two of them. 

“Eh, whatever,” Scootaloo said. She walked closer and held out a hoof. “The name’s Scootaloo, best damn stunt pony this side of the Crystal Empire. And probably the other side as well.”

Kai bumped her hoof with his fist and looked at Rainbow Dash. “She related to you?” he asked, earning a shrug from the cyan Pegasus, and a small squee from Scoots.

“Eh, I think of her as a sister, so… close enough.” Rainbow waved a hoof as Scootaloo swooned and almost fainted from giddy happiness. 

“Well, I’m Sweetie Belle and this is Apple Bloom,” the adorable little marshmallow horse spoke up. Kai had to bite his lip over how damned cute she was. 

“Nice ta meetcha!” Apple Bloom nodded, shaking his hand and Kai winced after. For a little pony, she was hella strong. Another thing he noticed was that they all seemed to share a similar Cutie Mark. What was up with that?

Twilight giggled and looked at the girls. “You’ve actually met him already,” she said. “Remember the station?”

All three fillies blinked as their mouths made a small ‘o’ shape. 

“That was you!?” Sweetie Belle said in a slightly high-pitched tone. 

“Yep, and that was because a certain somebody felt like getting some revenge,” he said, shooting a glance at Twilight. She would get hers later. And sweet, sweet vengeance would be his. “Still…” he looked at Pinkie. “Sorry about ruining your party…”

“No! It’s okay!” Pinkie said, a wide smile on her face. “It could be a party even if it was just two of us!”

Kai’s mind went places… he quickly banished those thoughts and nodded. “Well, I guess. I was never one for parties anyway.” he looked at the table of food, it seemed to be an interesting mix of sweets and the like, then something a little fancier, like hors d'oeuvres and salads. “Seems like a bit of a waste though…”

“Hmm, you obviously have not been in a room with these ponies,” Rarity chuckled. “Trust me darling, between Rainbow, Twilight and my dear Pinkie, none of this food will survive the night.”

Kai raised an eyebrow at the three ponies in question, the pinkest of the three already attacking the sweets table like a shark at a swimming carnival. She was even wearing a shark fin and humming the Jaws theme as she snuck up on a particularly large cake.

Watching its destruction was both beautiful and terrible…

“And I’d hoped you’d be able to make more friends as well,” Twilight sighed as she sat on a nearby chair. “Well, there goes that plan. Good to see Ponyville’s ‘new things frighten the hay out of me’ prerogative is still in full swing.”

“Hey, I made a friend in Canterlot,” Kai protested. “So, we’d only have to take a long ass train ride to see her.”

“Well, as long as most of my research remains in Canterlot, I am going to have to make frequent visits,” Twilight replied and sipped a glass of punch that she floated over to herself. “Still, total panic would have been nice to avoid today.”

“It’s like Zecora all over again,” Apple Bloom nodded. “Or when that Diamond Dog moved in a few months back… and that Changeling...and—”

“Yeah, I think they get it,” Scootaloo cut her off and waved a hoof. “So now what? Just sit here and eat all this food?”

“Why not?” Pinkie asked, as two cream-coloured blurs attached themselves to her. “Oohh, hey Pound. Hey Pumpkin!”

“Pinkie!” the two young foals giggled and hugged her. Their parents walked in a moment later, only to pause when they saw Kai.

“Um, Pinkie,” the gangly stallion asked in a shaky voice. “What is that?”

“His name is Kai and he’s our friend!” Pinkie said, wanting to shut this down as soon as possible. “And he’s had a super rough day already and despite what he looks like, he’s super nice and friends with TwiTwi!”

The two earth ponies looked at the princess, who offered a friendly wave. “Hello Mr. and Mrs. Cake,” she said. Both ponies smiled in response.

“Well now, there’s a face we haven’t seen in a while,” the portly mare walked over and pulled Twilight into a bone-crushing hug. “I’m glad to have you back dear.”

“Glad...to hear it,” she gasped, ohh, there goes a rib.

The two foals had removed themselves from Pinkie’s barrel and waddled over to Kai, looking up at him with inquisitive eyes. Kai made the fatal mistake of looking back… Sweet jebus, he had just stared into the abyss… and the abyss was adorable.

“Whoah yu?” the little unicorn asked.

“Puppy?” the pegasus inquired.

That tore it, almost everypony in the room completely lost it as they roared with laughter, though, Twilight and her five friends found it far funnier for a totally different reason.

“Hilarious,” Kai deadpanned as he knelt down and looked at the tiny ponies. “If anything, it’s you who look like puppies.”

“Not puppy, pony!” the pegasus said with a small huff.

“Imma kitty… meow!” the unicorn giggled.

Oh God. Too. Cute… light fading, heart stopping… gah! Kai fell back and clutched his chest as the two foals giggled happily. 

Twilight was… certainly intrigued. She had no idea that he liked kids. She watched him laugh as Pound and Pumpkin clambered all over him, like a living jungle gym. Cup and Carrot looked just a little concerned for their foals, but having Pinkie and Twilight present helped their stress levels.

Plus, they looked like they were having fun.

“Well ain’t that just the sweetest thang!” Applejack smiled and then ate an apple so fast that teleporting it straight into her gullet might have been slower. “Ah reckon he ain’t so bad. Now if only we could get Ponyville to see it.”

“They will eventually,” Twilight said and a small smile. “I think this just might take time is all.”

The small group just continued to hang out for a while, but as long as Kai was there, nopony else would dare enter the bakery, so he and Twilight eventually returned to the library.

"Well, that was a complete and total bust," Kai sighed as they entered the tree house. "Still, I guess you were pretty much under house arrest back on Earth, so I guess it's my turn now huh?"

"You shouldn’t have to though," Twilight remarked as she and Spike followed him inside. "I'm sorry Kai..."

"It's alright, I pretty much expected it anyhow," the human responded as he sat down on the rather small couch in Twilight's living area. "It sucks, but at least some of you ponies aren't all that bad." When Twilight giggled, Kai raised an eyebrow. "Okay, what's so funny?"

"I'm sorry," she said, wiping a tear from her eye. "It's just, you've come so far since we first met. You hated the idea of really interacting with others, and now...?"

"Don't get me wrong,"Kai said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "I still hate the thought of making friends with other people. But... you ponies are different." He sighed as he folded his arms and tilted his head in thought. "I dunno, I guess that you guys don't bullshit anyone. What you see is what you get, and I like that."

"Well, crass language aside, thank you for the compliment,"Twilight giggled. She moved over next to him and nuzzled him, causing him to roll his eyes and push her head away.

"Not in front of the kids dear," he said, motioning to Spike.

"Don't really care," Spike shrugged. "Oh? Do you guys have any preferences for dinner?"

"I really want steak," Kai said, but he knew that was impossible.

"I can get fish, since it's a pegasi cuisine," Spike offered and the human turned his head towards him so fast he almost got whiplash. 

"Make it so Number One!" he declared and Spike saluted before heading out to do some shopping.

"So... what do we do while he's out?" Twilight asked, her tail wagging slightly as she sat down next to him. The look in her eyes gave the human a few thoughts that may not have been entirely PG, but... 

"W-Well... um," Kai stammered and blushed profusely. Twilight giggled at his sudden bashfulness and moved closer to him, her lips parted slightly as she went to find purchase against his own.

“Perhaps we could investigate human/pony relations?” she purred, leaning a little closer, her soft fuzzy lips brushing lightly against his… before she pulled back and wrinkled her nose. “Uh, try not to take this the wrong way but…”

“I need a shower?” Kai guessed.

“You need a shower,” she echoed with a small nod. “Do you want me to wash your clothes?”

“Well, considering that they’re the only ones I have.” He paused and smirked. “Unless you want me walking around naked like the rest of you?”

“If you want to,” Twilight shrugged. Kai paused again, this time out of surprise over her being so nonchalant about it. 

“Uh, yeah, no thanks,” Kai said, quickly backpedaling on that idea. “Do you have a robe or something I could use while my clothes dry?”

"You can use a towel if you like,” Twilight replied. “I’ll wash your clothes and use a drying spell on them before you get out. Should only take a few seconds.”

“Well, that sounds convenient,” Kai called back. He kinda wished he could use magic. Twilight showed him where the bathroom was, the human a little depressed that the shower wasn’t as extravagant as the one in Canterlot. 

That was a nice shower…

He opened the door slightly and dropped his clothes outside for Twilight before climbing into the slightly too small tub and turned on the shower. He yelped when the water came out freezing, stepping back until it warmed up. He found himself wondering how it was heated. He never saw anything to show they used gas or electrical heating. Maybe steam? 

Magic was also a possible answer as well. 

“Probably why the gaps in their technology is so skewed,” he said to himself as he got back into the shower, sighing contently at the warm water massaging his skin. “Another question for Twilight I suppose.”

Speaking of the alicorn princess. He found himself touching his lips, his thoughts drifting to what might have been should he not have needed a shower. That night at the castle was still at the forefront of his mind. 

He’d known Twilight for what… two or three weeks? It felt longer than that. He wasn’t sure what it was that he felt for her. It wasn’t love… not yet anyway. But, he did like her. He liked talking with her, he liked it when she smiled. And… he wasn’t really bothered by the fact she wasn’t human. No, that was a lie. It did bother him a little, but then, this wasn’t a typical situation was it?

“I’m so fucking confused,” he muttered as he placed a hand against the wall. 





Downstairs, Twilight went to see who it was that felt like interrupting her snuggle time. Kai had a rather poor introduction to Ponyville, so she wanted to make him feel better. But then, that look of… apprehension in his eyes bothered her. She figured he needed some time to think, so the knock at the door probably came at the right time.

When she opened it, she saw Mayor Mare standing there.

“Oh, hello,” Twilight nodded and sighed when the mayor bowed before her.

“Welcome back Princess Twilight,” Miss Mare said. “It’s been quite a while.”

“Please, just Twilight is fine,” the alicorn said. Even since ascending, she’d never really felt like much of a princess anyhow. “What can I do for you mayor? Though, I think I can hazard a guess…”

“Well, you’re arrival was quite unexpected,” the mare said as Twilight invited her in. “But I hear you also brought a… unique guest with you as well.”

“Yes, and I can assure you that he’s harmless,” Twilight said as she started to fix a pot of tea. “He may be… unusual-looking to a lot of ponies. But he’s friendly enough.”

“The way I heard it,” Mayor Mare said. “Is that there was quite the panic at Sugarcube Corner..”

“I swear, this is like the Zecora incident all over again,” Twilight said, a hint of irritation in her voice. “Look Mayor. I can assure you that Kai is perfectly harmless. It’s no different to having a griffon here, or even Spike. A dragon half our size is still a greater threat than him.”

“Yes, we all saw that when he hoarded that one time…”

“One. Time!” Twilight resisted the urge to slap the mare in front of her. To this day, Spike still had the occasional nightmare about that day. “And Kai can collect all the things he wants, he won’t grow a single inch. He doesn’t have wings, magic, claws or fire.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear it,” Mayor Mare said with a soft smile. “But, that isn’t the main reason I’m here.” That caused the young princess to pause and blink in confusion. 

“Wait… it’s not?”

“Well, it’s only one of the reasons,” Mayor Mare said. “The other regards you living here in Golden Oaks Library.”

“What about it?” Twilight asked.

“Well you have been gone for a long time,” the mare said as she pulled out a document. “When you were staying here before, it was by the permission of Princess Celestia.”

“Well yes, but—”

The mayor presented her with the text, which Twilight read over.

Section 4, Article 32. In the event that one [Twilight Sparkle] deems the residence [Golden Oaks Library] no longer suitable, unfit for residence or no longer requires the residence. Then the residence [Golden Oaks Library] will return to being property of the city/town/province of [Ponyville].

She re-read the standardized a few times, along with all the fine print underneath and sighed. “So… this is no longer my home?”

“I’m afraid not, and until we get word from Princess Celestia reinstating your residence…”

“But… I’m a prin—” she paused before finishing that. She couldn’t throw her title around, just to get her own way. Even if it was to continue living here…

“So, what do I do until then?”

“While you may remain here during the day, I cannot legally allow you to stay here during the evening any longer,” Mayor Mare tapped her chin and hummed. “Is there anywhere else you might be able to stay until this is sorted? I really am sorry Princess Twilight, but royalty or not. The law is the law.”

“I understand,” Twilight nodded. “Well, I’ll see what I can do. If worse comes to worse, I can always return to Canterlot for the time being…” That caused a sharp pain in her heart. It felt like she was going to take a giant step back if she did that. Slip back into old habits and return to her studies.

“I really am sorry Twilight,” the mayor nodded. “I’ll get word out about your friend as well. He shouldn’t have too much trouble integrating into Ponyville society.”

“That would be appreciated,” Twilight smiled, though it was a terse one. Still, one thing was bugging her. “The library was pretty clean when we arrived. Has somepony been keeping it that way?” She paused and added. "Also, the door was unlocked when we first arrived."

“Our new librarian,” Mayor Mare informed her. “She’s exuberant, but she’s doing a well enough job. The foals seem to like her anyway.”

“Oh…” Twilight a little disheartened. She had honestly expected it, but to actually hear it was…

“So, who is this new librarian?”

“Ah, well her name is—”





Kai was enjoying his shower, despite it being too small…

Wait, what was that high pitched noise? It sounded like someone screaming.





“Alright, so lemme get this straight,” Kai paused as he, Spike and Twilight walked into Ponyville, dragging some bags behind them. “You home was given to someone else, all because you moved out for a bit. And now some red-tape BS is preventing you from moving back in?”

“Pretty much,” Twilight sighed,

“And to top it off, some girl that caused you trouble a while back has become the new librarian?”

“Right again, you're two for two so far,” Twilight snarked.

“Oh don’t give me that crap,” Kai retorted and glared at her. “It’s not my fault.”

Twilight stopped and sighed dejectedly. “No… no it’s not. You’re right… sorry…” Aw dammit, now she looked like she was about to cry…

“Hey, it’s alright,” Kai said, kneeling down and hugging her. “You said so yourself, one of your friends might be able to help right?”

“Yes, I mean, maybe?” Twilight sniffed as she burying her face into his chest. “I don’t know. Maybe they might still be mad at me. I know I wouldn’t help me…”

Kai frowned and gave her horn a flick, causing Twilight to yelp and rub the appendage. “Ow! What the hay was that for?”

“For being me,” Kai said. “I’m the brooding anti-social one. You’re the Princess of Friendship and crap right? So act like it Sparkle!”

That was something she noticed, he only seemed to call her Sparkle when he was annoyed or mad at her. Interesting.

The trio headed back to Sugarcube Corner, mostly because of Kai saying that depressed girls need chocolate. Twilight found it difficult to say no to that.

The bell tinkled softly as they walked in, and as usual, nopony seemed to be around, well, save for Mrs. Cake.

“Oh, hello dears,” the mare greeted them. But upon seeing their frowns, her chipper tone turned to concern. “Oh, what’s the matter?”

“We got kicked out of our house because of bureaucracy BS,” Kai explained. “So now we are homeless vagabonds, going wherever the wind and the scent of adventure takes us.” What? He might as well make the most of this.

Mrs. Cake raised an eyebrow and looked at Twilight.

“He’s not wrong on the ‘getting kicked out’ aspect,” Twilight confirmed as she sat down at a table. “Apparently there’s a new librarian!” The amount of snark in her tone could have choked a Hydra.

“Oh yes, did nopony mention that to you?” Mrs cake was then on the receiving end of three very unamused glares. “Okie Doke, I’ll take that as a no. Three Triple Chocolate muffins and salted caramel milkshakes coming up.”

Kai found himself swallowing at the mention of that. Okay, that sounded pretty damned tasty.

“So, any idea who we could turn to for help?” Spike asked as they waited.

“I’ve been thinking of that,” Twilight replied as she tapped her hooves on the table. “But it’s been so long, I don’t know what anypony’s living conditions are like… plus, I feel kind of guilty. I ignored everypony for over a year, and now I need to ask one of them if we can live there for a while?”

“I guess…” Spike sighed now, his hopes dashed.

“Well moping isn’t gonna solve anything,” Kai said as he placed a hand over Twilight’s hoof. “All your friends already forgave you right. They all came running when they heard you were missing, despite that fact.”

“Yeah,” Twilight’s mood improved somewhat.

“And it won’t hurt to ask right? And if they can’t help, I’m sure there’s a hotel or something right? Worst case is that we go back to Canterlot for a few days until all this is sorted out.”

“But that feels like a massive step back,” Twilight groaned and thunked her head against the table. 

A few moments later, Mrs. Cake returned with their food and drinks, Kai’s mouth watered as he drank the sight in. 

“Here you go dearies,” Cup Cake smiled. “On the house okay? I hope you can find a solution. It’s nice having you back Twilight. Our little town feels complete again.”

“Thanks Cup,” Twilight smiled, an earnest one this time. “And this looks delicious. I forgot how amazing your baking was.”

“Ehehe,” Cup blushed and rubbed the back of her head. “Well enjoy dears. I’ll be here if you need anything.”

The three thanked the mare before she headed off, and they wasted no time in sinking their teeth into the delicious treats.

“Oh bloody hell,” Kai moaned. “This is amazing!”

“I know right?” Twilight smiled as she filled her face with chocolate. “The only thing that could be better is if she added a little mint…”

Kai swallowed and stared at Twilight. “You… like mint-chocolate?”

“Yes…?” Twilight was a little confused. Did he hate mint or something?

“I think I love you,” the human said, eliciting a squeak and a furious blush from the mare. “If you said you liked licorice as well…”

"I don’t mind it,” Twilight managed to get out, her face still red as her heart pounded in her chest.

“Yup, now you’re perfect,” Kai smiled as he devoured the rest of his cupcake and took a loud slurp from his milkshake. The sweetness of the cake and the salty caramel made the perfect combination.

Twilight was too stunned to continue eating, she just stared with wide eyes and a flushed face as Kai ate, oblivious to her reaction. 

“Unbelievable,” Spike sighed and shook his head. 

The three ate in relative silence, until the door chimed and two ponies walked in, well, one walked, the other bounced perpetually alongside her.

“Hiya guys!” Pinkie chirped happily. “Watcha doin’ here so early?”

“We went by the library to check on you,” Rarity added with hint of concern in her voice before Pinkie chimed in again.

“Yeah! But we found it locked up tighter than Dashie’s Daring Do fanfiction collection.”

“Ignoring that, why didn't any of you tell me?” Twilight asked, finally snapping out of her stupor.

“Tell you what darling?” Rarity took a seat beside her and placed a hoof on hers. 

“The new librarian?” Twilight reminded her. Rarity and Pinkie both fell silent, as their mouths opened in an ‘o’ of realisation.

“Well,” Rarity gave a dainty cough and looked away. “We were so worried about you disappearing, we completely forgot that little detail.”

“Little. Detail?” Twilight’s right eye twitched and a lock of her mane sprung up in a small curl. Kai tilted his head and looked to Spike.

“Uh, is there a reason Twi looks a little… unhinged?” 

The dragon sighed and reached across the table. He extended a talon and gave Twilight’s nose a sharp flick. The mare yelped and her hooves shot to her nose as she gave Spike an indignant glare.

“She’s fine,” the dragon added. “Twilight just has a tendency to over-react to things.”

Kai folded his arms and nodded. He remembered the trouble he’d had getting her out of the library back home. When he first said it, she’d acted like he asked her to cut of her leg or something.

“So, whatever are you all doing her so early?” Rarity asked and then saw their bags. “With… all your things?”

“Because the Mayor said I couldn’t live in the library anymore,” Twilight sighed and stared at her remaining meal. “So now we have to find somewhere else—”

“Well naturally, you’ll be staying with us,” Rarity nodded without a second thought. “Granted I don’t know if you could handle living with this one here—” She rubbed Pinkie’s head, the earth mare… purred? “—But our home is open to you darlings. We certainly have the room at least. Sweetie Belle doesn’t stay over much anymore, so you can use her room.”

“Rarity, I can’t—” Twilight started to argue before Kai reached over and clamped her muzzle shut with his hand. 

“This one was about to say. ‘No, we can’t because I abandoned you and shouldn't take advantage of your generosity.’ That about sum it up Sparkle?” 

The alicorn pouted and remained silent, even after Kai removed his hand. Rarity blinked and turned her attention to Twilight, giving her an admonished look.

“Why ever would you think that?” the unicorn said and hugged Twilight. “Despite our recent… separations. I would never think of you as a bother. And even if I did, Pinkie Pie here would never allow me any respite until I said yes.”

“Yupper-deppers!” Pinkie giggled. “Rari-bear knows better than that anyway. We can’t leave you by yourself Twi-pie. And Kai-Kai as well~”

Kai blinked and shook his head. There was something wrong with that pink pony, and yet, he couldn’t help but smile. Dammit ponies, stop being so adorable!

“What about me?” Spike mock-pouted and Rarity giggled, nuzzling him.

“Of course, you as well Spikey-Wikey. I’ve missed having my favourite dragon assistant around.”

Spike blushed, one that didn’t go unnoticed by Kai. Yup, that dragon totally had the hots for a married woman. 

Dream big little dragon bro. Dream big.

“Well, I’d say that’s settled then,” Kai nodded, but flinched along with everyone else when Twilight smacked her hooves on the table.

“No, it’s far from settled,” the mare almost shouted. If anyone else had been in the restaurant, they’d probably be staring now. “Do I even get a say in this?”

Rarity went to say something, but Kai muzzled her with a hand as well. “Well Sparkle. Go on.”

“I…” Twilight’s argument never made it out. It stuck in her throat and vanished like a wisp in the wind. She… she had no real argument. Not one that wouldn’t make her look petty or stubborn anyway. 

“Look Twi,” Kai said and placed his hand on her hoof again. “If it makes you that uncomfortable, there’s always the option of a hotel or Canterlot. But—” He spared a glance at Rarity and Pinkie. “—You were trying to get me to make friends back home. Don’t you think this would be a good opportunity to reconnect with yours?”

Twilight blinked as something stung the corners of her eyes. “Pfft,” she wiped the tears from her eyes and giggled lightly. “Since when did you get so good at friendship?”

“One, ouch,” Kai said, pouting. It did not suit him at all. “And two, I guess I learned from the best huh?”

Twilight blushed as Rarity cooed. Oh yes, this would do very nicely. With them staying at her house. She could interfer— *ahem* assist with their blossoming love. The unicorn loved it when a plan came together. 

What? Plans made in the last thirty seconds could work!

This one did~

“Well, thank you Pinkie, Rarity,” Twilight said and bowed her head politely. “We’ll try not to intrude on you for too long.”

“Nonsense darling, take all the time you need,” Rarity waved a hoof. “Just remember that I do run a business, so please don’t clutter up the shop.”

“I’ll make sure it stays relatively book-free,” Spike said as he wolfed down the rest of his food and drink, Kai doing to same.

Once he’d finished and the group started heading back to Carousel Boutique, the human got to questioning Rarity about her business. 

“So what is it that you do?” he started with.

“Oh? Ah, I don’t suppose I’ve told you that, have I?” Rarity dainty cleared her throat. “I make—”

 “Rari-bear totally makes the bestest and prettiest clothes in aaaaallll of Equestria!!” Pinkie declared, somehow sitting on Kai’s shoulders. 

“PINKIEEEEE~” Rarity whined. “You interrupted me.”

“Whoops!” Pinkie giggled and leaned down, kissing the mare on the head, somehow not leaving the tall humans shoulders to do so. “Sorry Rari-bear~”

The unicorn huffed and flicked her mane. “Yes, well. As Pinkie so colourfully put it. I am a fashion designer. I have my home and Boutique here in Ponyville, and I am looking to expand to Canterlot as well.” She smiled and winked at Kai. “Between you and I, the store I have my eye on is going to get a price drop soon, and then I shall pounce!”

“Well, good luck then,” Kai nodded. That said… a clothing store huh? Well… “You know, I’ve worked retail a long time back home. I could lend a hand if you want?”

“Hmm…? Is that so…” Rarity looked him over. His attire was a tad strange, though not all too different from pony fashion. Just, tailored to fit his form. And, his exotic nature might bring around some customers. 

“Ideeaaa~” she cheered. “You wish to get on more friendly terms with Ponyville, yes?”

“Might be a nice change from wandering the empty streets,” Kai nodded. “Plus I hate just sitting around. You don’t have to pay me or anything. I’d appreciate just having something I know how to do.”

“I appreciate the thought,” Rarity chuckled as they neared their home. “And, I suppose you don’t have any other clothes with you?”

“Just the ones I’m wearing,” Kai nodded.

“Well I’ll tell you what,” Rarity paused and turned to face him. “You shall assist me in my shop, and in return, I’ll make you a few articles. You’re unique shape will make for an interesting challenge.”

“Sure,” Kai nodded and held out his hand. Rarity placed her hoof in it and shook gently. 

“Then we have an accord,” the mare smiled and released his hand. “Alright everypony. Here’s to an interesting new venture together.”

Pinkie cheered the loudest, along with Spike. Twilight just smiled as Kai remained his usual indifferent self. 





A mare unlocked the door to Golden Oaks Library. It was good to be home after all that time on the road. And it seems her cleaning service had been quite efficient. She'd send Ditzy a muffin basket to thank her.

She dumped her bags near the door and trotted upstairs. She was looking forward to a nice, long sleep after travelling.

She nudged the bathroom open and stared into the mirror as she levitated her toothbrush out from the cabinet. Dark violet eyes, a blue coat and a silvery-blue maned mare stared back at her. Goddess did she look exhausted.

She brushed her teeth and tossed her toothbrush into a cup before teleporting into her bedroom, flopping unceremoniously on the bed…
Odd… why did her bed smell faintly of lavender?

“Oh well,” she yawned, Luna’s realm already starting to claim her. “Trixie will worry about it… to...morrow…” The rest of her sentence was punctuated by snores as she drifted off to sleep.
> Homestuck
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I can’t believe I didn’t notice it,” Twilight moaned as she lay on Rarity’s couch. “There were things there that didn’t belong to me, but I was so excited that I was truly home again, I just didn’t pay attention.”

“Accidents happen,” Kai said as he sipped some tea. “It’s not like we trashed the place or anything. It was an honest mistake, and it’s not like anyone else told us the library was taken either…”

Rarity flinched slightly, it was true that they had forgotten that little fact, but like Twilight, they were just so excited to have her home again.

“Look, if this pony has a problem, I’ll talk with them,” Kai smiled and shrugged his shoulders. “Customer service is my speciality after all.” 

“That raises an interesting topic,” Rarity spoke up. “What did you do as a living darling?”

“Oh, I worked in a store that sold video games,” Kai replied as he set his teacup down. “So I was dealing with all kinds of customers all day.”

“Video games? Oh, you mean those things that Sweetie Belle and one of her little friends like to play?” Rarity sipped her tea as Kai’s eyes widened and he fell quiet for a moment.

“You… Equestria has… video games?” he said slowly and looked at Twilight. The alicorn shrugged, she’d been far too absorbed in her research to bother with such things.

“I don’t know much about them myself, but you could ask Sweetie Belle when she gets back,” Rarity nodded. “Now, how shall I arrange the bed? Will you two… be sharing~?” The unicorn’s smile was getting wider as Twilight started a coughing fit into her teacup. Kai reached over and rubbed her back until she stopped.

“Thanks,” Twilight gasped and shot Rarity an offending glare. The unicorn didn’t seem fazed however and just waited for an answer.

“I don’t think we’re that far along yet,” Kai answered for her. “I’m still getting used to the idea really.”

“‘Getting used to’?” Rarity frowned ever-so-slightly and looked at Twilight. 

“In his world, ponies aren’t sentient,” the alicorn explained, recalling what she’d read on the internet. “And almost every part of his world outlaws… relations with animals. And don’t give me that look Rarity, I don’t blame him in the slightest. I knew from the start that this wouldn’t go smoothly, in fact, I’m glad we’re taking our time. You know that romance was never my area of expertise.”

“Wow, you are so awesome,” Kai grinned and kissed her forehead, causing Twilight to explode with a furious blush. “Thanks for understanding Twi.”

“Oh sweet Celestia, I ship this so hard,” Rarity mumbled, but Twi and Kai hadn’t heard her. “W-Well then. I’ll find some sheets and blankets for the lounge. But remember…” She smiled slyly and winked. “The guest bed is big enough for two~”

Twilight blushed harder and glared at her. “RARITY!” 

The unicorn simply giggled, teasing Twilight was just far too much fun.

“Oohh, so you’ve discovered it’s fun to tease Twilight huh?” Kai smirked and the alicorn just huffed and folded her legs. “Okay, okay, we’ll stop… for now.”

“You guys suck,” she muttered.

“Isn’t that what your supposed to do?” Pinkie said as she popped up from behind the couch. 

“GAH!” Kai fell off the couch, startled by the mare’s sudden and surprisingly silent appearance. “What the hell…”

“And what do you mean I’m supposed to—” Twilight started as Pinkie whispered into her ear. Twilight’s entire face turned crimson before she just sat there, her mouth opening and closing a few times.

“Pinkie dear, you are utterly incorrigible,” Rarity sighed. “Now you’ve gone and broken her.”

“Naaah! I got this,” Pinkie giggled and leaned in close to Twilight. “Oh nooo, the Cutie Mark Crusaders are gonna divide by zero.”

“WHAT!?” Twilight screamed as she jumped to her hooves. “You can’t do that it’s not poss…” She blinked and looked around, before her gaze settled on Pinkie.

“Ohhh, I am pranking you so hard for that!”

Biting her lips to poke some innocent innuendo at that comment as well, Pinkie just shrugged and smiled. “Sure, if you think you can outprank me, then go for it. In fact. I double dare you!”

“Oh for pony’s sake,” Rarity sighed. “Kai dear, could you come and help me make the beds? I require the help of somepony civilised.”

“Whaaaat, I’m totes civilised,” Pinkie whined.

“Say that when you can have breakfast without frosting darling,” Rarity smirked as Pinkie frowned in mock annoyance.

“Cupcakes are part of a normal, healthy diet,” she defended herself. “Remind me who it was that cleaned us out of ice-cream when you stuffed up a dress.”

“You promised you wouldn't’t tell!” Rarity hissed.

“Oh-kay,” Kai turned around and headed upstairs. “I’m going this way now.”

“We’re not finished with this,” Rarity said and walked after him.

“Were… you guys fighting?” Twilight asked. “Will it cause a problem if Kai and I stay here?”

“Huh?” Pinkie tilted her head and giggled. “Nah, don’t worry Twipie. We’re just messing around. I love Raribear and she loves me. Besides, I totally ate more ice-cream than her. Pinke always wins an ice-cream race.”

Twilight wasn’t going to ask. Nope. Not at all.

“I still can’t believe that you and Rarity are together,” Twilight said as she lay across the couch. “I missed out on so much…”

“Yup, that’s one. Cranky and Matilda getting married was another. But Cloudchaser and that Changeling? Nopony saw that one coming, especially the Changeling!” Pinkie giggled and snorted before rolling onto her back. 

Again. Don’t ask Twilight… just, don’t.

“But it’s fine TwiTwi,” Pinkie rolled back over onto her belly. “So you missed a few memories. It’s no biggie. And there’s always time to make more.” She got up and moved over to her. “We never stopped being your friends silly. Never will okay?”

“Thanks Pinkie,” Twilight said quietly. Even after all this time, Pinkie knew how to make her smile. “So… tell me about Cloudchaser.”

“Well…”





“I must say, having hands like that must be quite the advantage in some situations,” Rarity said as she watched him tuck in the bed. 

“I dunno, I guess?” Kai shrugged. “Having magic would be pretty cool. Being able to move stuff your your mind. I could be a Jedi!”

“Is that the title of human mages?” Rarity asked as she put the pillows onto the bed.

“Something like that,” Kai smirked. “The Avatar is much stronger. Able to control all the Elements, he or she would bring balance to the world.”

“That sounds intriguing,” Rarity gasped. 

“It’s also fake, cause they were just works of fiction,” Kai laughed. “Though I had you going there huh?”

“Ah, you scoundrel!” Rarity whapped him with a pillow. “You’re as bad as Pinkie Pie.”

“And now you know what you're dealing with if Twilight decides to prank you, cause I’ll help her~”

“Oh dear,” Rarity sighed, a little embarrassed she’d bought into his stories so easily. “Well, get those blankets there, and we’ll get you settled in on the couch… oh, but one thing darling?”

“Mm?” Kai grunted as he hefted the thick quilt.

“This door doesn’t lock, should you feel like sneaking in for some nighttime fun~”

“Gah!” Kai stumbled and tripped, blushing heavily. Rarity just giggled as she trotted away. Seems the human was as much fun to tease as Twilight.





As Pinkie put the finishing touches on dinner, the door swung open as a young mare dragged herself inside, inching forward like a fabulous caterpillar.

“Sweetie Belle…” Rarity sighed and facehooved. “Can’t you maintain some level of decorum in front of our guests?”

“Guests?” Sweetie raised one tired eye and looked in her sister’s direction. “Oh, hi Princess Twilight, hey Kai… sup?”

“Not you apparently,” Kai deadpanned as he sipped his tea. What? It was good tea.

“Urgh, Mrs. Lyra and Miss Octavia had me practicing for-ever!” she groaned. “I never want to sing again. That was torture of the highest caliber. Worst. Day. Ever!”

“Somepony’s been teaching her well,” Twilight said with her own deadpan snark as she looked at Rarity. “Like looking in a mirror.”

“Oh shush!” Rarity pouted, her face scrunching adorably. “Sweetie, stop being such a drama queen—”

“Raribears?” Pinkie called from the kitchen. “Have you seen our black pot? You know, the one that matches the kettle?”

Both Sweetie and Rarity let out matching dramatic sighs.

“I like this house,” Kai smirked. “Oh, Miss Rarity?”

“Please, just Rarity will be fine dear.”

“Okay, Just Rarity. I have an idea I want to run by you.”

“Ignoring that terrible joke,” the unicorn sighed, though Pinkie and Sweetie giggled. “What is it?”

“Well, I was thinking about what to do around here. I’m not used to just sitting around…” No, playing Final Fantasy A Realm Reborn for a few thousand hours didn’t count. “So do you know any places that might offer some work? I could at least help pay for food and utilities.”

“While I wasn’t planning on charging you a thing,” Rarity said. “I know the dread of having nothing to do. While I cannot think of anywhere off the top of my head, I can certainly assist you in looking.”

“Ohh! The weather team needs some help!” Pinkie said.

“He’s not a Pegasus,” Rarity countered.

“Ohh yeeahh,” Pinkie was standing next to them, tapping her chin.

“Pinkie? Love?” Rarity pointed at the kitchen. “Unless we’re having smoked salmon, I don’t believe that black stuff is supposed to be coming from there.”

“AAHH!” the pink mare raced off to try and salvage her dinner.

“Never a dull moment in the land of pretty little ponies huh?” Kai remarked in his deadpan tone. Twilight nodded as the pair sipped their tea together.

“What in Equestria have I invited into my home?” Rarity mock-whined.

“The ultimate combination of snark and indifference?” Kai offered. “Well, guess you’re stuck with us until we find a more permanent arrangement.”

“Sorry,” Twilight said flatly.

“Don’t be,” Rarity smirked and looked at the kitchen. “You’re living in the same house as Pinkie Pie.”

Twilight’s eyes did a nice impression of dinner plates. “Oh stars…”

“So!” Sweetie plopped herself down between them. "You guys are staying here now?”

“Indeed they are,” Rarity nodded. “At least until they work out a solution on their own.”  She turned to Twilight and Kai and gave them a kind smile.  “Not that I don’t mind you being here, but if Twilight is still the same mare, she’s already thinking about the problem from three different angles.”

“Five, but who’s counting?” Twilight shrugged as Pinkie came out with a stack of plates and a pot on her back.

“Okay, so I burned the casserole a little… but it’s still good, just… extra crunchy,” she giggled. Once they sat down to eat, Kai had no idea what she was talking about, the food was pretty damned awesome. If this was burned and not very good, he had a small aneurysm trying to imagine what ‘good’ would taste like.

They decided that bed was in order not long after. Sweetie fell asleep in her food and Twilight offered to share a bed to save somepony carrying her home. Kai soon lay in the dark living room, his tall frame a little too long for the couch but… oh well.

“So, enjoying ourselves are we?” 

Kai flinched at the sudden voice as Discord appeared in the air next to the couch. “You…”

“Me!” Discord said, throwing confetti in the air. “I just had to visit Equestria’s other favourite misfit, but those mares are a little noisy, so I waited til you were all asleep.”

“That’s… kinda creepy, but whatever.” Kai sat up, figuring he wasn’t getting any sleep now. “So, what can I do for you?”

“Ah, more like, what can I do for you,” Discord smiled. “Like, sending you home for instance. It'd be quite easy really. ‘Poof’ and it’s done. No biggie.”

Kai paused, this guy had shown up in his world. In the form of a weird hobo, but still…

“I dunno, it’s not so bad here,” he eventually said. “I mean, it’s certainly a lot more peaceful. And I can actually get along with these ponies…”

“Aww, he has friends, that’s sooo cute~” Discord cooed and rubbed his head. “Still, you don’t belong here do you? You belong with all the other little humans.”

“Well, that’s not for you to decide is it?” Kai answered with a frown. 

“I sent you here, I can send you away,” Discord said with a low growl. “You think you honestly used the Element of Magic? It was my magic that enabled you to come to Equestria and save Twilight—”

“So why then?” Kai cut him off. “Why didn’t you just take the Element and come back yourself? Coulda been the hero instead of me. Not that I care about that. I just wanted to help Twilight. Heroes are for JRPG’s and kids books.”

Discord remained silent.

“Or is it that you couldn’t?” Kai asked. Discord frowned as he snapped his fingers, Twilight’s Element twirling on his extended claw. 

“Of course I could,” he snapped. “It’s just…”

“So then why?” Kai asked. “Why bring me here at all? It’s not like I accomplished anything—”

“Because of you, Twilight came back to Ponyville!” Discord snapped and then literally zipped his mouth shut.

“So that was it?” Kai said and frowned. “Just a means to an end? To get Twilight all cozy with her friends again?”

“Friendship… isn’t my thing,” Discord said after unzipping his mouth. “I can appreciate it, I can accept it and feel it… but I don’t understand it.” He sat on the table and his expression softened. “Her friends missed her, Fluttershy included. I don’t like seeing her sad and I had to. For an entire year. I couldn’t convince the princess to return, but because of you, Celestia got her to. And you got Twilight to open up again in the first place.”

“A guy with no friends helps the Princess of Friendship open up? That is some seriously backwards logic.”

“I know right!” Discord clapped. “That’s why it’s so damned great. Why, I’d swear you’re a chaos magician in the making if you… well, if you could cast magic.” 

“So what’s this about sending me home then?” Kai asked. “Why barge in here in the middle of the night and start all this friggen drama?”

“I don’t know, maybe I wanted to see how you did it. How someone like you - no offense - could make friends so easily when I couldn’t. Maybe it was all an act? That you’d ditch Equestria the second you got bored.” Discord sighed and lay back on a pink cloud he conjured. “Sorry I yelled.”

“Yeah,” Kai rubbed his head. He was no good at this sort of thing. “Look, even if I wanted to, Twilight promised me first and I’ll let her try. If and if she succeeds, then, well I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. For now, might as well enjoy my pastel-hued holiday.”

“Fine, fine…” Discord waved a paw and snapped his talons again, but nothing happened. “Well, I’ll leave you be for now. Come by Fluttershy’s house sometime. We’ll have tea and sandwiches.”

“So… you and Fluttershy, you a thing or what?” Kai suddenly asked and Discord fumbled around for a moment. 

“W-What! No! She’s just a friend!” he blushed and teleported off. Kai chuckled and lay back down.

“Whatever you say,” he mused and drifted off to sleep.





“S-She’s back?” Trixie stared at the pegasus pony that was delivering her mail. “You’re certain?”

“Uhuh, I think she’s staying with Rarity and Pinkie at the moment,” Ditzy replied as Trixie levitated the letters she held. “As well as her new friend. I can’t remember his name though.”

“Interesting,” the unicorn mused. “Oh, and thanks for keeping the library clean for me. Trixie hopes it wasn’t too much trouble.”

“Nah, the extra bits came in handy,” Ditzy smiled. “Well I need to keep going. Later Trixie!”

“Yes, goodbye Ditzy…” Trixie gave a small gave as the mare flew off. So, Princess Twilight Sparkle was back in town. “How very, very interesting~”





Twilight yawned as she stumbled down the stairs. “Ergh, coffee first, cognitive thought later…” She headed towards the kitchen when she heard a sound. Oh yeah, Kai was on the couch down here.

She walked over to it and giggled. He’d wrapped the blankets around himself during the night and was now imitating a human-burrito. She stared at his sleeping face and found herself leaning closer to it…

A loud knock at the door caused her to freeze, cheeks blushing as Kai groaned and sat up suddenly, headbutting the alicorn and sending her tumbling from the couch.

“Ahhh, goddamn owwww!” he hissed, putting his hand to his forehead. “What the fu… Twilight?” he looked over at the tangled pile of fur and feathers and blinked. “What are you doing?”

“I have no idea…” she groaned back. The knocks came louder as Twilight rolled onto her hooves and stood up. Under-caffeinated and now sporting a sharp headache…

Whoever was at that door was going to be showing up in the obituaries. 

Twilight grasped the door handle and turned, before it slammed open and she found another solid object colliding with her face as a pony stormed inside.

“Twilight Sparkle! Trixie knows you’re in here! Trixie knows all!” the mare declared. She blinked and looked around, she was here...right?

“Trixie…” a muffled voice caught her ears. “You have. Two seconds. Then I kill you.” 

“Yeep!” Trixie leapt back and saw that she’s been standing on Twilight. “Ah, Trixie thinks you make a good impression of a rug—”

That was all she could say before Twilight’s horn flashed and Trixie disappeared in a flash of light.

“Uh… where’d you send her?” Kai asked as he sat up.

“Dunno, dun care,” Twilight mumbled as she stumbled into the kitchen to find coffee and painkillers. “Friggen loud ass mare, bashing a door in my face…”

“Okay… don’t talk to Twilight until she has coffee… good to know,” Kai nodded to himself. He hoped that other mare was at least alive, it’d suck if Twilight just killed her over a door…

“Twilight Sparkle!!!” The door swung open as a very much drenched Trixie stood there, a frog perched between her ears. “Y-You dare? You dare teleport the Great and Powerful Trixie into a LAKE!?”

*pop*

Aaaaaand she was gone again. 

“Seriously Twilight?” Kai raised an eyebrow as the mare sat down, a fresh cup of coffee in her telekinetic grip. 

“What?” Twilight opened one eye as Kai took her coffee. “Wha? Nuuuuu~ Kaaaai, give it!”

“Not until you apologise to that poor mare. As much as she reminds me of Wile E Coyote right about now.”

“Ergghhh! Fiiiine,” Twilight sighed as Kai handed her back her coffee. She snared it and took a healthy sip, humming happily. “Ahhh~’

“TWILIGHT SPAAAARKLE!!” The door was still open as the now Wet and Covered in Hay Trixie stumbled inside, looking righteously pissed.

“Trixie? Wha?” The now-caffeinated Twilight looked at the mare’s appearance and gasped. “What happened to you?”

“I...you…” Trixie’s eye twitched dangerously before she screamed to the heavens. “GAAAAAH!” 

“What is all that racket?” Rarity came downstairs and when she saw Trixie…

“WHAHAAA!” She snared the unicorn in her magic and started dragging her off. “You will not be coming into my store looking like Applejack after a rainstorm!” Rarity huffed. “Come now. I shall prepare a hot shower this instant.”

“Crazy! You’re. All. CRAZY!!” Trixie screamed as she was dragged off.

“Preaching to the choir,” Kai muttered as he sipped his own coffee that Twilight had brought in. “I’m surprised half this town isn’t heavily medicated…”

“Don’t be silly,” Pinkie said from right next to him. Kai yelped as he spilled scalding coffee in his lap. “The last doctor that tried now thinks she’s a doggie.”

There was an ear-piercing scream from the bathroom.

“Ohh, so that’s where I left Gummy~” Pinkie giggled as she pronked into the kitchen.

“Is there a reset button?” Kai asked as he dabbed at his lap with a towel. “I want a do over on the morning.” It took a little while longer, but eventually things settled down to a level the human could at least call comfortable.

Kai, Twilight and Rarity sat on one couch as Trixie and Pinkie sat on the other, though Trixie insisted that Pinkie had to sit at least two pony lengths away at all times. 

“So, allow Trixie to understand this,’ the blue unicorn sighed. “Nopony… remembered that Trixie lives in the library now? And that you even slept in Trixie’s bed!?”

“I’m really very sorry,” Twilight bowed her head. “If I had known…”

Trixie sighed and waved a hoof. “It is fine… Trixie guesses she could at least claim she was successful in getting royalty into her bed~”

“Trixie!” Twilight blushed as everyone shared a laugh, even Kai. The alicorn turned and pointed a hoof at him. “And you stop picturing it!”

“Too late~” Kai teased. he wasn’t… well, not until Twilight mentioned it…

Damn. Now he was.

“So, what are you doing back here anyway?” Trixie asked as she sipped her herbal tea. “Trixie thought you went back to Canterlot.”

“I did… but, a lot happened recently,” Twilight said and explained what had happened. Working on her new project, teleporting to another dimension and meeting Kai… 

“Quite the adventure you’ve had,” Trixie nodded. “Not as big as some of Trixie’s, but you’re getting close.”

“So, I have a question of my own,’ Twilight said. “How did you of all ponies become a librarian?” She saw Trixie’s indignant look and waved a hoof. “I don’t mean it like that. It's just, it’s a very quiet and slow job. I always expected you to be selling out shows in Las Pegasus or Neigh York.”

“While Trixie agrees that she is capable of such greatness,” the unicorn blushed lightly under the praise. “Trixie finds that telling stories is also quite fun. Trixie uses her magic to bring the books to life, so to speak. The foals like it well enough and Trixie still travels around to perform as well.”

“Huh, I never thought to use Illusion magic like that,” Twilight hummed thoughtfully. “That’s really quite something Trixie.”

“Trixie accepts your praise,” the mare puffed out her chest proudly. 

“Now all you need is some peacock feathers to go with that preening,” Kai chuckled. Trixie got to her hooves and with a small application of magic, a magnificent set of peacock feathers sprung out just above her tail.

“Hah! Those dull birds wish they were as Outstanding and Fabulous as Trixie!” she declared.

“Okay, that was impressive,” Kai clapped his hands as Trixie bowed. “Still, sorry about barging into your home like that… though you did return that favour this morning.”

“Trixie would very much like to forget that morning please,” the mare shuddered. “Morning Twilight is a terrifying Twilight.”

“Amen,” Kai nodded and the two shared a brofist/hoof.

“Oh sweet Celestia, they’re bonding,” Twilight giggled, pretending to look afraid. 

“Human Kai is proving to be most entertaining, perhaps you could come to the library sometime? Tell Trixie stories from your Human World?”

“I guess I could do that, though my memory kinda sucks,” Kai nodded. “Well, if Twilight get’s a portal working, I could always bring some books from my world…” He stopped when he saw Twilight giving him a weird look. “What?”

“You-You mean, you’d… come back?” Twilight asked.

“Well, yeah,” Kai replied. “I was thinking about it last night, hence why I’m a little tired today. But you managed to come back here right? And I was able to come here as well. So, who says you can’t just create a portal I could come through at any time?”

“Could… I do that?” Twilight summoned a scroll and a quill, followed by a small mountain of books. It wasn’t long before the mare sequestered herself in a corner of the room, researching away.

“Aaaand we’ve lost her,” Kai sighed.

“Hmhmhm, so you are not busy then?” Trixie chuckled. “Excellent, then Trixie shall show you around Ponyville. Be honoured you such a Beautiful and Magnificent Guide.”

“Oh thank you, Trixie and Her Titles that always Change,” Kai bowed his head. Trixie just snorted in amusement as Pinkie bounced over to them. 

“Let’s stop by Sugarcube Corner for breakfast! I hafta got to work anyway.” She looked over at Rarity and beamed. “You wanna come Raribear… again~”

“PINKAMENA!” Rarity blushed up to the tips of her ears and swatted the earth pony’s hindquarters with a ruler. “As much as I would love to join you for breakfast and nothing more. I have some orders I have fallen behind on. Now, shoo before I punish you.”

“My new safeword is Cupcakes~” Pinkie sing-songed as she bounced from the room, Rarity yelling something profane in response.

“That never happened,” Kai said, choosing to purge that from his memory.

“What never happened?” Trixie agreed.

“Exactly,” Kai nodded and followed the perverted pink pony. This day was already off to a flying start now, wasn’t it?
> Trixie Time!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kai frowned.

Kai sighed.

Kai was… confused.

He’d had breakfast with Trixie and Pinkie, and was now walking around Ponyville as the azure unicorn pointed out anything of interest. They’d been at it for what… an hour?

And yet.

Nopony had run away screaming in fear. Most had watched from a small distance, but they weren’t ducking and cowering away.

“Okay… what the hell is going on?” the human muttered and approached one mare. She had a cream-coloured coat and a two-tone pink and red mane. 

“Excuse me?” he decided to try talking to one. “Hi there.”

“H-Hello?’ she replied with a shaky voice. “Can… I help you?”

“Just a little confused really,” Kai said. “If I could be so rude to ask. Why aren’t you running away from me?”

“H-Huh?” Roseluck blinked and then gasped. “Oh, the Mayor said you were okay, and this was just the Zecora Incident all over again.”

“Trixie will never get used to the idiocy this town will sink to,” the unicorn sighed. “What is there to fear when Trixie is here?”

“Trixie, you ran away from one of Fluttershy’s bears only a week ago,” Roseluck deadpanned.

“And you and your sisters faint at the sight of a bunny stampede,” Trixie shot back. “Pot. Kettle. Black.”

“Equestria is weird,” Kai shook his head and nodded to Roseluck. “Well, if you’re all cool now, that makes my life a little easier. Thank you Miss…?”

“Roseluck, part owner of Dream Valley Flowers,” she smiled. “My sisters Daisy and Lily help as well.”

“Well, if I ever need flowers, I’ll stop by,” Kai said and Rose handed him one of her namesakes. 

“A little sample, you’ll not find anything more delicious.”

‘Delicious?’ Oh, ponies ate flowers. Well, he could always give it to Twilight or something. He nodded and tucked it into his bag that Rarity had lent him before he and Trixie went on their way.

“So, the goal is to find you a job yes?” Trixie tapped her chin. “Rarity said she’d look into it. But one must always keep their eyes and ears open. No harm in looking ourselves.”

“True enough,” Kai smiled. “Plus you’re pretty cool Trixie. I wouldn’t mind hanging out with you for a while.”

Trixie stumbled and faceplanted when he said that, before quickly righting herself. “W-Well of course Trixie is cool. Trixie shall credit you for realising that so soon.”

“So… why do you do that?” Kai asked as they walked. “Referring to yourself in the third person?”

“Trixie does not know what you mean,” she said unconvincingly. 

Kai figured she didn’t want to talk about it and dropped the subject for now. “Alright then Trix. Where should we start?”

“T-Trix?” she blushed lightly at the nickname. “Well, should we try Sweet Apple Acres? Trixie believes that Applejack is always looking for willing farmhooves… er, whatever it is you have.”

“Farm work, yeah. No.” Kai crossed his arms in an ‘X’ shape. “No way am I fit enough or willing enough to do farm work.” Though the sheer irony of ponies running a farm made him smile.

“Well, how about Sugarcube Corner?” Trixie suggested.

“If I could bake,” he replied. “I can cook a few things at a subpar standard. But I’m no Masterchef. So yeah, pass.”

“You are difficult to please,” Trixie snorted. “Hmm, how about…” 

They spent the next few hours wandering around, asking a few places for something to do. But they either were too wary of Kai to hire him, or the human flat out refused the work. He had quite the aversion to anything outdoor related.

“Trixie… gives up,” she sighed as she fell onto the grass. They’d gone to the park to rest for a bit, but the unicorn was done.

“The video arcade would have been a cool place to work too,” Kai sighed as he recalled the retro-looking place. Sure, they had video games alright. But they seemed to have only gotten as far as 16 or 32 bit games.

The PS4 would blow their little pony minds. 

“Well, thanks for helping me Trix. Even if today was a total bust, we still had fun right?”

“Trixie agrees that today was well spent. Trixie has been feeling… out of sorts lately. Too many shows and not enough time to just… unwind.”

“Don’t you have friends to hang out with?” Kai asked, yeah, like he was one to talk.

“A few, but Trixie is always busy with the library, or out of town with performances. Trixie… does not have much time for friends.”

“Whereas I thought friends themselves were just a waste of time,” Kai admitted. “Well, until I met Twilight. And even then, I dunno… I guess I just couldn’t connect well with others.” And then he came to Equestria, the land of adorable tiny horses. “But here? I like they way things are here. There’s no… pretentiousness around you ponies.”

“Clearly you have not seen all of Canterlot then,” Trixie snorted. 

“Probably not, but every pony that I’ve met seems pretty nice. So, I guess we could be friends if you want?”

Trixie rolled over in the grass and looked at him. “Trixie… would like that.”

Thou are I and I art thou.

Thou hast befriended a member of the Magician Arcana…

“Yeah, right,” Kai snorted and shook his head. “Well cool. Friends then.” He held out a fist and Trixie bumped it with a hoof.





Twilight frowned.

Twilight sighed.

Twilight... screamed in frustration and tossed her book across the room.

“Darling,” Rarity said with a weary sigh. “Do try and calm down. Why on Equus are you grunting like one of Applejack pigs?”

“This portal… is really… GAH!!” She’d left a lot of her notes in Canterlot, and thus, had to make do with what she could remember.

“Why don’t you go and get some fresh air?” Rarity suggested. ‘And I can get some peace and quiet in which to work’

“That’s a good idea,” Twilight agreed and got to her hooves, stretching not unlike a cat. “Do you want me to get some groceries?”

“That sounds wonderful,” Rarity nodded and produced a list. She added a few more items, as well as a note for Pinkie Pie. 

‘Twilight is upset. Cheer her up will you?’

That should keep the alicorn busy for a while~

Twilight took the list and note and trotted outside, taking a deep breath and walking towards the market.

Or she would have.

Had a golden chariot not caused her to dive to one side and avoid the obituary pages. 

“HOHMYGOSH!” A pair of hooves helped Twilight to her hooves, dizzily trying to clear her mind as the pony checked her over. “I told the driver to watch out. I swear they just don’t listen sometimes…”

“Wha…” Twilight shook her head and halted the pony with her magic to get a look at her. “Wait… I know you…”

“Lieutenant Flash Step,” the mare would have saluted if she wasn’t floating in the alicorn’s magical grip. “A pleasure to meet you again your Highness.”

“Kai’s friend…” Twilight blinked and then smiled. “Well, aside from that close call. It’s nice to see you again, but what are you-”

“We come bearing gifts!” Flash Step smiled as a second chariot landed, one laden down with several large crates. A white unicorn stepped off of it and looked around.

“Well, this place is certainly… rustic,” Blueblood mentioned. “Good afternoon Princess Twilight. I hope you are well?”

“For the most part,” Twilight said and winked at Flash, who just blushed and giggled nervously. “But… what is all this?”

“Princess Celestia sent us,” Step smiled and pointed at the crates. “That there, is all your research and materials from Canterlot.”

Twilight’s eyes slowly widened as she stared at the mare. “Y-You're serious?”

“We do not jest Princess,” Blue added. “Auntie Celestia has spent the last two days seeing to it that every scrap was packed and meticulously labelled.”

“This… This is…” Twilight grabbed the nearest pony, that being Flash Step and planted a kiss on her lips. “Thank you sosososo much! This helps me out more than you could know!”

Flash Step just blushed profusely and touched her lips with a hoof.

A thought occurred and Twilight frowned. “But this won’t fit inside Rarity’s home. Not by a long shot…” 

Then...

Twilight had an idea.





“So you beat this ‘Ursa Major’ thing? All by yourself?” Kai asked as he and Trixie walked back to Rarity’s boutique.

“Indeed I did, t’was a feat of magical might the likes of which you have never seen!” Trixie boatsed and smirked widely. “Perhaps I could regale you with other tales of greatness?”

“Maybe,” Kai said as something caught his eye. “Hey, what do you suppose all that is?” he asked, pointing at the chariots outside the boutique.

“Curious,” Trixie tilted her head. “Trixie does not know…”

“TRIXIE!” Twilight called and then teleported in front of her, causing her and Kai to stumble backwards. “Trixie, I need your help!  The library. Are you using the basement right now for anything?”

“The library has a basement?” Trixie asked, answering that question. “W-Well, perhaps I am. What of it?”

“Please,” Twilight said. “I need a place to do my research and the library’s basement is the perfect size. It should still have soundproof charms, so noise won’t be a bother. And you’ll barely know I’m there.  I could even teleport in and out!”

“And pray tell, why should Trixie do you this favour?” she said haughtily. 

“Cause we’re friends now?” Kai stepped in and put a hand on her head. “She’s researching a way for me to visit my home again. So… please?”

Trixie frowned

Trixie sighed.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie… will allow the use of her basement,” she finally said. “In return, you, Twilight Sparkle, shall owe Trixie a favour of her choosing.”

“I fear I’m making a deal with a demon,” Twilight muttered under her breath and held out a hoof. “Okay Trixie, you have yourself a deal.”

Trixie shook her hoof and looked at the chariots. “You there, servants. Take that to the library in the center of town.”

“S-Servant?” Blueblood spluttered and Flash Step facehooved. 

“Here we go,” she sighed and rolled her eyes. She motioned for the drivers to follow her, she was going to avoid this shitstorm as quickly as possible.

“I am no servant!” the stallion spat as he stepped closer to Trixie. “I am Prince Blublood, you-you common showhorse!”

“Showhorse!?” Trixie puffed herself up and glared at him. “You pompous, uncultured swine! I am the Great and Powerful Trixie!” 

“Loud and Obnoxious Showpony!” Blueblood countered with all the grace and humility of a schoolyard foal. 

“Prince Greasemane!”

“GGAAH!”

While that was going on, Twilight had teleported ahead to the library and was in the middle of setting everything up. 

“The door is locked your Highness,” Flash Step said as she rattled the library door. “We’re going to have to wait for that unicorn mare to—”

“No time for that, we have research to do,” Twilight said as she unlocked it with her magic and strode inside, floating the crates behind her.

“And thus Twi becomes every JRPG protagonist ever made,” Kai muttered and shook his head. “Hey, should I start breaking all her vases and pots?”

“Why would you even do that?” Twilight asked as she looked for the basement door.

“Ma’am?” one of the guards asked Flash Step. “Did the Princess… just break and enter?”

“The Princess is levitating two tonnes of unknown magical equipment and artifacts,” Flash sighed and shook her head. “She can do whatever the hell she wants really.” Princess Celestia had warned her that ponies in this town were… unique.

“More like crazy if you ask me,” Step muttered.

“So, Steppy?” Kai asked as Twilight started moving a large, light up mirror that Trixie had haphazardly put in front of the basement door. “Wanna bet on who’s going to win out of Trixie and your brother?”

“Twenty bits says Bluey will win,” Flash said without missing a beat. “I have never met anypony more stubborn.”

“I dunno… Trixie looks…” Kai waved his hand in a small circle as he looked for the right word. “Scrappy. I’ll put twenty on her.”

“Deal,” Step nodded and the two bumped fists/hooves.

“Finally!” Twilight exclaimed as she got the door clear and swung it open. Kai shuddered a little, remembering the time they shared minds. 

And the fact that one of her personalities was chained up in the basement…

“Well, why are you all just standing around?” Twilight asked as she walked inside.

“Because you’re doing all the work?” Kai suggested to no one in particular. It got a giggle out of Flash Step though. The guards were posted outside as Step and Kai followed the alicorn into the basement. It had definitely seen better days, as everything was covered in dust and cobwebs. 

Flash Step noticed a significant decrease in Kai’s steps.

“Everything alright?” she asked.

“That’s… a lot of cobwebs,” he said, now stopping a third of the way down the stairs. “You know, I think I’ll go and, uh, the thing, that’s gotta be… yeah!” He turned and started walking stiffly up the stairs again.

“That’s… weird?” Flash tilted her head in confusion. “I wonder what that’s all about?”

“Flash Step?” Twilight had set the crates down, coughing at the dust they kicked up. “”Ack! W-Where’s Kai?”

“He just… left,” Flash replied. “Rather abruptly too.”





“Nopenopenope,” Kai said, putting as much distance between himself and the potential spider-horde as quickly as possible. And they were probably massive Equestrian spiders too, like… Skyrim-size spiders.

“Fuckin NOPE!” he said with more resolution as he stepped outside and promptly tripped over a pony. He groaned and rubbed his head before looking to see that he’d tripped on a Trixie.

“Bloody random encounters,” he sighed as he picked her up and set her back on her hooves. “Hey Trixie, you win that argument?”

Trixie shook her head to clear it and turned her head to face him. “Huh? Oh, that… Trixie is… unsure.”

“Unsure?” Oh come on, he had a bet riding on this and he had no money here. “How can you be unsure?”

“Does one win by agreeing to go out for coffee later?” Trixie asked.

“You… got into an argument,” Kai started to piece it together. “And that somehow becomes you two going out on a date?”

“A d-d-date?” Trixie stammered and backpedaled. “T-Trixie would never date such a brute! Trixie is only in it for the free coffee.”

“Unbelievable,” Kai sighed. “Well, if you're looking for Twilight, she’s probably battling demon-spiders in your basement.”

“Strange, Trixie could have sworn she locked the door…” The mare tilted her head and searched her memories. “Wait, demon-spiders!? TWILIGHT SPARKLE! Trixie will get the glory! Not you!” she roared and raced inside.

“Yeah… no,” Kai turned away and started heading back to Rarity’s. He could really go for a cup of her tea right about now.

The guards standing at the door shook their heads. They didn’t get paid enough for this. 

“Trixie!? What are you-? Nooooo!” The library shook with a small explosion.

The guards wisely chose to ignore it.





“I’m sorry darling,” Rarity said as Kai sat on the couch, sipping tea and eating shortbread with her. He liked Rarity. She was classy.

“It’s not your fault, I don’t have a resume, and there’s the whole ‘different species’ thing and all,” Kai shrugged. “I’m just sorry I can’t help pay for food and stuff.”

“As I said, you really don’t have to,” Rarity added. “I am more than well off enough to provide for a good long while. In fact, I’m looking at opening up a Boutique in Canterlot soon. So you needn’t worry about it.”

“Yeah, still…” Kai sighed as the door’s bell tinkled softly as a mare walked in. Kai recognised her as the flower mare from before. Rose-something. 

“Oh, hello dear,” Rarity greeted her and stood up. “What can I do for you Roseluck?”

Kai snapped his fingers, Roseluck, that was it. A hat on a nearby rack fell off onto the floor. Rarity picked it up and paused.

“Strange, I don’t recall using a rose on this design…” She shrugged and put it back. “Sorry, you were saying?”

“Oh, I was hoping for a quick repair,” she said and held up a saddlebag. “It snagged a loose nail on my stand and tore a small hole. I already lost a few Bits before I realised…”

“Oh dear, that’s no good,” Rarity said and checked the bag. “The seams are fine, just a small tear. I can have it done by this afternoon. I have some rather large commissions that I simply must finish as soon as possible…”

“Oh, that’s fine…” Roseluck said as Kai walked over and looked at it.

“Hmm, give me a minute,” he said. “Rarity, do you have a needle and some cotton thread I could use?”

“You wish to fix it?” Rarity asked, a little shocked.

“Well, I can do something as easy as that at least,” Kai nodded as Rarity floated the required tools over. “You, don’t mind do you?”

“Mind? I do not,” Rarity nodded, more curious than anything else. 

“As long as it’s fixed,” Roseluck agreed. “I’d do it myself, but I’m all hooves when it comes to needlework.”

Kai nodded and sat on the couch. He threaded the needle and went to work. Rarity was enraptured, watching the way his fingers delicately worked the needle and the look of concentration in his eye. After about ten minutes or so, he’d fixed the tear and held up the bag. 

“There, I think that should do it. I hope…”

Rarity eyed the work, it was rough and could definitely use refinement… but the repair work itself was solid.

“Yes, I believe that will do nicely,” Rarity said and handed Rose her bag. “Well now dear, not everypony can claim to have their repair work done by Equestria's… only… human?” She trailed off as a thought occurred. One that made her release a giddy laugh.

“Oh… kay?” Kai raised an eyebrow and shook his head. “Ponies and their crazy…” He smiled at Rose and motioned at her bag. “So, is that all for today Miss Roseluck?”

“O-Oh, yes… thank you very much,” she nodded and gave him a few bits. “I’ll see you around,” she said as she left the store.

Kai looked at the money and placed half of it on the table. Sure, he’d fixed the bag, but he’d used Rarity’s materials. 

“And would you stop that creepy laugh?” he said, turning to face the unicorn. “Seriously.”

“IIDEEAAAA~” She said in a tone that made him wince. Forget classy, now she sounded like a cat in a tumble dryer. “I have finally found a suitable job for you Kai.”

“Huh?” Kai blinked.

“You can work for me!” she declared. “That was rather impressive, and I can refine that work even further!”

“Uh…” Kai had no idea how to respond to this. He picked up his teacup and sipped it, allowing his mind to reboot. “Well, okay then,” Kai nodded. “If you’re sure I won’t be a bother, who am I to turn you down?”

“Excellent,” Rarity clapped her hooves. “We shall discuss it further over dinner tonight. Now, I had dillydallied enough. I must get this work finished.” With that, she vanished into her workshop and left her human be.





“I can’t believe you thought we were fighting demon spiders,” Twilight deadpanned as she cleaned up the last of the dust. “I mean, honestly Trixie?”

“Trixie regrets nothing,” the mare replied, now sporting a nice lump on her head from when Flash Step smacked her out of surprise. “For if you were, the glory would have been Trixie’s.”

“You’d have screamed and run away like a filly,” Twilight sniped back. “Or is Trixie forgetting who cleaned up her little Ursa incident?”

“That was the fault of Snips and Snails,” Trixie countered as she wiped down the chalkboard. “And nopony asked you to help. Now who’s the glory hound?”

“For the love of Celestia… they never stop,” Step sighed as she sat in the corner, flicking through one of Twilight’s books. She couldn’t wait until this job was over and she could cash in her holiday time. She was gonna hang out with Kai, play pranks on Bluey and eat her own body weight in ice-cream.

“At least my proto-gate is undamaged,” Twilight sighed. “Though you’ve completely ruined the crystal matrix inlay. I’ll have to wait until i can get some more from the Crystal Empire before I can complete it. And…” Twilight’s eyes gave a dangerous twitch. “Ahh! You burned some of my notes as well? TRIXIEEE!!”

All that remained of the mare was some scrawling on the blackboard.

‘The Great and Powerful Trixie haz left the building!’

“I don’t believe that mare,” Twilight sighed and hung her head. “Still, at least I have this space to work.”

“So… is it true?” Flash Step asked. “Are you really going to send Kai home?”

“That’s the plan,” Twilight nodded, but continued before Flash Step could voice her concerns. “He’s given me several good ideas to run with. One being a kind of homing beacon. He could go through the portal here, and when he wants to return? Just activate the beacon and he’d bounce right back. In a way, it’d be similar to how I returned to Equestria. Just… hopefully not as painfully.” That day had sucked, well and truly sucked. It was a day the alicorn never cared to repeat again.

“He’d come back?” Flash asked hopefully. “That’s good…”

Twilight paused and smiled. “You seem to be pretty good friends with him, despite not knowing him for long.” She got a mischievous looked and smirked. “I hope I don’t have to worry about you trying to steal him away from me?”

“W-Wha?” Flash Step blushed, panicked and waved her hooves. “No! It’s not like that I promise! We’re just friends!”

“Relax,” Twilight laughed as she took out a few more objects. “I’m just joking around Miss Flash.” She pulled out a few items, one of them being an old, failed experiment of hers. “Oh, I remember this…”

“A ring?’ Flash looked at the ornate silver band, it looked like it was designed to fit over a pony’s hoof. “What does it do?”

Twilight sighed and held it up. “It was supposed to allow a non-unicorn to cast magic. For example, I imbued this with some basic matter manipulation. Telekinesis and some basic elemental control should have been possible.”

“But it doesn’t work?” Flash asked.

“No, it didn’t. Every test subject was a total failure. I even tried some non-ponies, like a griffon, a Diamond Dog and even a Changeling.”

“Oooh, that’s why Sunny Daze was so upset that one afternoon,” Flash nodded, recalling a particularly bad day for the Changeling maid. 

“Yes, I’d gotten quite irritable that day.” Twilight sighed and passed the ring to Flash. “Why don’t you keep it? I don’t care for jewelry much. Consider it a token of our friendship.”

“Princess, I really couldn’t-” Flash started before Twilight placed it over her hoof. 

“Please, you’re Kai’s friend. And I’d like to be your friend as well.” She snorted as she slid the ring into place. “I’m not trying to buy your friendship or anything. But it does look nice on you.”

“T-Thank you,” Flash Step blushed and looked away.

“Wow, I leave for an hour and you go and propose to my friend?” Kai said from the stairs. Flash and Twilight blinked and looked at their position from that new perspective. Twilight was holding one of Flash’s hooves and had put an ornate silver ring on her…

Both mare exploded into a furious blush and scrambled to put some distance between themselves as quickly as possible.

“I-I-It’s not like that!!” Twilight stammered as she lifted a few books.

Flash Step was too stunned to even reply.

Kai was just laughing at their adorable reaction. “Ahhahaha, oh man. That was priceless. I wish I had my phone to record that.”

“Oh shut up!” Twilight hurled a book at him, which he barely managed to dodge. “And where did you go? Are you the reason Trixie blew up half my stuff?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kai whistled innocently. “Buuut, if you don’t want lunch…” he’d used the money he got from Roseluck to buy himself and the two mares something to eat. “While I don’t eat daisy sandwiches, maybe the guards outside would like some?” Truth be told, he’d brought some leftover cupcakes from Rarity’s for them.

Twilight’s and Step’s stomachs gave a loud gurgle to voice their protests at such an action.

“All is forgiven, you may enter,” Twilight said airily.

“Many thanks your Highness,” Kai bowed and headed down the stairs. Now that all the cobwebs were taken care of, he was much more comfortable. He handed Flash a sandwich, which she took while fighting to get her blush back down.

“And for the lovely Princess Sparkle,” he said and produced a simple daisy sandwich. What? Rose hadn’t given him that much money. And that restaurant was expensive.

“Thank you,” Twilight giggled and took the sandwich. “Ohh, Savior’s place? His food is delicious~”

“And pricey,” Kai shook his head. “Oh yeah, the town seems to be pretty good regarding me now. So there’s that too.”

“Zecora Incident?” Twilight asked between bites.

“Zecora Incident.” Kai nodded, not really getting what it mean. But he guessed it wasn’t the first time the town had dealt with strange outsiders. “So… aside from marrying my friend. What else have you been doing?”

“Urgh!’ Twilight rolled her eyes as Flash Step blushed again. “You’re an ass. As for what, just cleaning and unpacking really. I can’t even start researching until that’s out of the way.” Then she practically inhaled her sandwich with record speed before getting back to her unpacking.

“Well, that was both impressive… and a little terrifying,” Kai said at that little show. He took a seat on one of the empty crates and just watched her organise things. “So Steppy?” he asked. “Where are you and Bluey staying while you're here?”

“Oh, we’ll be heading back later today,” Flash Step said. “Buuut, I have some vacation time owed. So I’ll be back really soon. Blue will… probably do whatever he wants as usual.”

“Oh, speaking of that,” Kai said. “Turns out that neither of them won the argument. They’re going out for coffee apparently.”

“Wait, what?” Flash Step groaned and facehooved. “Of course. And that idiot brother of mine probably didn’t even realise what he said.”

“Imagine the foals?” Twilight idly said as she started to set up the ring portal. “Their egos would be so over-inflated, they’re likely to just float away.”

“Hah, that’s an understatement,” Flash Step laughed. “Most foals first words are Mama or Papa. Theirs would be asking for some more gel for their manes.”

Twilight broke down into giggles as she imagined the most fabulous foals in existence. “Oh dear, that’s just, ahahaha!” 

“Well, I’ll just pretend I know what you two are cackling about,” Kai shrugged. “Oh yeah, Rarity wanted to ask if you remember the groceries.”

Twilight blinked and facehooved. “Ah dang, I had a feeling I was forgetting something.” She looked at Kai expectantly as she held out a list and a bit bag.

“The things I do for you,” he sighed in an melodramatic way and took the items. “Well, fetch-quest time it is. See you later?”

“Yes,” Twilight nodded and blushed when he kissed her cheek. “Mm, just the cheek?” she asked.

“Such a spoiled princess,” he smirked and placed a chaste kiss on her lips before turning and heading for the stairs. “If I’m not back in time, come by Rarity’s before you go Steppy.”

“Sure,” she said and they bumped fists/hooves before the human left. Once he’d gone, the mare turned to Twilight with a mischievous smirk.

“Sooo, that was a cute little display there~”

“The princess orders you to shush,” Twilight blushed and turned away. Flash Step just giggled and continued to needle her for information.





“And then I said, ‘Pancakes? That’s genius!’” Pinkie bounced in her seat.

“Uh… what is she talking about?” Kai whispered to Twilight.

“Just smile and nod,” Twilight replied, not having a clue herself.

The four ponies sat around the dinner table, Pinkie was… telling a story of some description. Rarity and Kai had also discussed the particulars of the job she'd offered. She'd spend a while teaching him some more advanced techniques and eventually, he could watch the Ponyville boutique when it came time for her to start her Canterlot one. The door to the Boutique chimed as Spike walked in, holding the hoof of a filly around the same age as Sweetie Belle and her friends. She had a silvery-grey coat and violet eyes. Her mane was like woven silver and tied up into a long braid.

“Oh, there you are!” Twilight said to the drake. “Where have you… oohhh.”

“Yeah…” Spike scratched the back of his head. “It’s a lot better than swapping letters all the time.”

“Hmm, but your writing is a lot more eloquent than your mouth,” the filly giggled and poked him. “Though they way you fumble your words is pretty cute.”

“M’not cute. I’m cool and awesome,” Spike mumbled, his masculinity well and truly deflated. 

“Yes, yes. You’re a big strong dragon,” she giggled again and kissed his cheek.

“So… that your girlfriend?” Kai asked and wiggled his eyebrows. It had the desired effect of making the dragon blush through his scales. 

“I am,” the filly nodded. So this was the ‘human’ that everypony was talking about. She didn’t know why they were all so worried. He looked harmless enough. “My name is Silver Spoon. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

“And it’s nice to see you face-to-face again Silver,” Twilight smiled and got up from the table to trot over to them. “You’ve been taking care of Spike?”

“Mm, yes. he’s a little troublesome-”

“Hey, I’m right here,” Spike grumbled. “I take offense to that statement.”

“He can be,” Twilight nodded. “Just steer clear of his sneezes, or you may find your mane transported to Princess Celestia.”

“Statement. Offense.” Spike said, but was ignored.

“But he is nice and warm to hug,” Silver Spoon added and nuzzled him. Spike blushed again, but returned the gesture. 

“Uh, is it alright if Slivey joins us for dinner?” he asked. 

“Of course,” Twilight smiled. “After all, how can I share embarrassing stories about you if she’s not here?”

“Twwiiiii~” Spike whined and then something clicked. “You do that, and I’ll return the favour,” he threatened, looking at Kai.

“Ah…” Twilight froze and stared at her little brother. “That isn’t fair.”

“All’s fair in love and war,” he sang as he took a seat next to the human, and Silver next to Spike. 

It wasn’t long before Pinkie brought out the dinner she’d been cooking. And unlike her last one?

“Oh. My. God…” Kai inhaled the scent of the food and groaned. “This smells amazing~”

“I had a feeling you’d like it,” Pinkie giggled as she sat at the table. “Some freshly baked bread for dipping and a hearty vegetable soup. This should fill even Twilight’s belly for a good long while.”

“Oh har har,” Twilight deadpanned as she tore some of her bread with her magic. “At least my appetite can be sated.”

“You have no idea,” Rarity sighed and poked Pinkie in the sides. The pink mare giggled and batted her eyes at the unicorn.

“I think I’m too young for this conversation,” Silver deadpanned and Spike nodded in agreement.

“Pinkie needs an off switch,” Kai replied as he dipped his spoon into the soup and took a sip. Oh wow, this was amazing!

“Pinkie Pie has no off switch!!” the pink mare declared loudly and waved her butter knife like a sword.

“A great development oversight,” Kai nodded grimly. “I don’t know how you do it Rarity.”

“Nor do I,” the mare giggled and Pinkie suddenly gasped.

“You know, this is totally a three-way date!”

“What?” Twilight said flatly.

“Well, me and Raribears. You and KaiKai and Spikey and Silvey. This is now a three-way date. Yup yup.”

Twilight blushed at the implication. “Our… first date,” she mumbled and giggled to herself. 

“Oh boy,” Spike rolled his eyes and Silver just smiled and leaned against him.

“Well, I think that sounds like a wonderful idea,” Rarity said and kissed Pinkie’s cheek. “I’l give you this one Pinkamena.”

“Whoo!” Pinkie said and pulled the tablecloth. EVeryone winced and closed their eyes, expecting chaos. 

Instead…

The table now had a nice velvet cloth and a candelabra sat in the center, giving off a gentle glow. 

“Pinkie, darling…” Rarity gasped and put a hoof to her chest in relief. “A heart attack like that is not good to have on a date.”

“Aww, but this is more romantic now,” Pinkie pouted and giggled when Rarity ruffled her mane.

“Our first date,” Twilight giggled again, now latched onto that particular thought and not letting go. As was Silver not releasing Spike’s arm.

Kai just shook his head and rolled his eyes. “It’s a sweet gesture Pinkie. Thanks.”

“Whoohoo, the Kai Seal of Approval,” the mare cheered and turned back to her soup, gulping it down hastily.

“Believe it or not, she was rather nervous on our first date,” Rarity giggled. “And she looked so divine, all dressed up like that. I wanted that night to last forever.”

Kai nodded and a thought occured. He leaned over and whispered to Twilight. “Hey, wanna go out tomorrow? Just the two of us?”

Twilight erupted into a blush and nodded slightly, now giggling nervously at that thought. 

“Whoo, you go playa!” Pinkie whooped before Rarity ordered her to sit. 

Dinner had to end eventually and Spike was off to escort Silver Spoon home. Rarity got a mischievous smirk and grabbed Pinkie’s tail with her magic.

“Come now darling. We’re going to give Twilight and Kai a little space. Plus…” her voice dropped an octave and the tone she used sent a shiver up Pinkie’s spine. “I believe I owe you a punishment,” she purred before dragging Pinkie off.

“And now I’ll have to make sure my room has soundproofing charms,” Twilight deadpanned as they left. She turned to Kai and rubbed her hoof nervously. “So uh… you really sure? About tomorrow?”

“Well, yeah,” the human replied. “We’re dating aren’t we. Or, you know… trying to. So it’s only natural I’d take you out on an actual date sometime.”

“Y-Yeah, of course, I knew that!” Twilight said a little too hastily. “Um, I suppose I should get some sleep then.”

“If you want,” Kai smiled. “Would you like a good night kiss Twilight?”

The mare now exploded into a blush. The way he said that, mimicking Rarity’s earlier tone made her wings shoot out of their own volition. “Ah.. um… I…”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he chuckled and leaned down to place a gentle kiss on her, his tongue brushing against her lips and eliciting a soft squeak from her before he broke it. “Well, good night Twilight.” he said.

“G-Good night,” she squeaked out and nearly bolted from the room. How in the hell was she going to sleep after that? Her heart was pounding a mile a minute.

‘Annnd I think I scared her, good job me. Good job.’ Kai sighed and climbed into his makeshift bed. 

‘We’re going on a daaa~aate~’ Twilight sang to herself as she skipped into her bedroom. She could hear a few noises coming from Rarity and Pinkie’s room and quickly erected a barrier to block anymore. ‘That was really weird, but I’m going on a daaa~aaate~” 

Downstairs…

Kai buried his head under his pillow. Of course Pinkie Pie had to be a bloody screamer!

“Gooooooooooood!” he moaned. “Smite me now!”
> I've got a very important Date!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Twilight stared at the blackboard, a massive equation spread out across its entire surface. The portal worked once already, it shouldn’t be so hard to figure out right?

“AARGGH! Why is this so hard!?!” she yelled to herself as she tugged on her mane. “All I’m trying to do is solve interdimensional travel! I’ve already done it once! Come. On. Already! Stupid brain…”

No, yelling at herself did not work.

Yes, it made her feel better though.

“Think. Think. Think. Think.” Twilight paced around in a circle and tapped her head with a ruler. “So that won’t work. That’ll vapourise us. And that option will see us scattered across the Multiverse…” Twilight groaned and perked up, “Ah-HAH!… Oh wait, that’ll just summon an eldritch horror…” 

Her mind wasn’t exactly on the job though. It started to wander away from transdimensional travel and she thought about her date with Kai and her face moved into a smile as a light giggle escaped her lips.

“Trixie questions the sanity of the giggling mare in her basement,” the voice snapping Twilight out of her daydream as she turned to stare at Trixie. Speaking of her…

“So, what made you become the librarian?” she asked her. “It doesn’t seem like a very—” She waved her hoof in a small circle. “—A very Trixie kind of job.”

“Nice save,” Trixie said as she descended the stairs, taking care of the papers that Twilight had scattered around in her ‘Organised Chaos’. “But Trixie supposes she could enlighten you Princess Sparkle.”

“Please, just Twilight is fine Trixie,” Twilight sighed as she put her research aside for now. 

“Well the Just Twilight,” Trixie smirked, eliciting an eyeroll from the alicorn. The blue unicorn rose onto her hind hooves, her cape flaring with a summoned breeze. “Let Trixie regale you a tale of action, adventure, and perhaps a little romance.”

“Mayor Mare asked and you said yes,” Twilight said with the slightest of cheeky smiles.

“Bah, you have no sense of adventure,” Trixie sighed and dropped down to all fours. “Trixie was simply tired of travelling for the time being. Yes, her shows were going well enough and Trixie earned enough money to get by but…”

“You wanted something not so fleeting?” Twilight guessed.

“It is as you say,” Trixie nodded. “Trixie felt like she wanted something… different. She doesn’t even know if this librarian gig is truly for her. But when you were here, you had things Trixie did not?”

“Modern plumbing?” Twilight smiled, causing Trixie to nod once before blushing and glaring at her. 

“No! Friends you purple smarkflank!” Trixie pouted. “Trixie is trying to be serious here!”

“I’m sorry,” Twilight and offered the mare a friendly nuzzle. “So, you wanted to make some friends? How would a librarian help with that?”

“Because that’s what you did,” Trixie mumbled, Twilight’s eyes widening in surprise. “You led such a wonderful life here, and when Trixie heard that you’d moved away, she took her chances… But to hear you’d thrown all that away…”

“Not… my proudest moment,” Twilight sighed and glanced at her wings. “Ever since I got these… I’d thrown myself headfirst into one responsibility after another. I guess, i wanted to prove that I’d earned them to everypony.”

“Oh yes, because saving all of Equestria multiple times, wielding the most powerful artifacts in the world and finishing the spell of the greatest unicorn to ever live, that certainly wasn’t enough.” Trixie snorted and beeped Twilight’s muzzle with a hoof. “And you call Trixie a glory-hound. Perhaps Trixie should become a Great and Powerful Princess and show you how it’s done.”

“Well there hasn’t been a court jester for a while,” Twilight snarked back.

“Hmm, well when Trixie is Princess, she’ll be sure to give you a call.”

The two stared at one another before breaking out into giggles. This was just what Twilight needed, though finding it in Trixie was a bit surprising. 

Once they were done, Trixie took a breath and looked at Twilight. “Trixie… wishes to ask you a favour.”

“O-Okay?” Twilight blinked. “What’s wrong Trixie?”

“Trixie… Trixie has a date tonight, with that fabulous white unicorn from Canterlot.”

“Well, that’s good,” Twilight said. She was still excited about hers and Kai’s date tonight. “But I fail to see what—”

“Because Trixie has never been on a date!” she yelled. “Trixie has no idea how to act, what to do…”

“Well, you just…” Twilight froze as a horrible realisation dawned on her. 

She.

Didn’t.

KNOW!

“Oh horseapples…” she muttered. She had no idea how dates worked. And Kai was a human, what if he had his own customs or traditions? She could wind up offending him and starting some sort of war between ponies and humans. 

Wait!

“We’re in a bucking library,” Twilight pointed out. “There has to be a book on dating tips somewhere!”

“A most excellent idea!” Trixie declared. “Come now Twilight Sparkle. We shall research and have the most wonderful of dates!”

“Sure, we can… wait, what do you mean ‘we’?”

“Trixie is not going alone. Oh no, Trixie and Twilight Sparkle shall make this a double date. You can bring Kai along.”

That… was genius! She could compare variable between a pony date and a human date at the same time! “I love that idea! Let’s get looking for that book right away.”

Trixie nodded in agreement. Tonight was going to be the best night ever.





“So…” Kai walked through Ponyville with Flash Step and Blueblood. “Looking forward to your big date tonight?”

“I am indeed,” Blueblood nodded. “Well, as long as I can get her to leave the spellbooks at home.”

Kai smirked and nodded his head. “Man, if only I could get Twilight to do that. I seriously wonder why she doesn’t have a book for a Cutie Mark.”

“Don’t be a Markist,” Step said with a curt tone, her eyes narrowing into a small frown. “Just because somepony likes something, doesn’t mean he or she should have a Cutie Mark of it.”

Oh crap, she sounded pissed. Did he just make some sort of massive insult? 

“I’m really sorry,” Kai said, bowing his head. “I-I had no idea. Please, let me…” he trailed off as Step and Blue started snickering. “Oh you asshats!”

“Hhahaa! Oh my gosh, the look on your face!” Step howled as she had to stop walking, she was laughing so hard. “That face… ohhh feathers that’s priceless.”

“You’re gonna pay for that one,” Kai said. “You won’t know where, and you won’t know when…”

“Consider us even for the whole vampire thing,” Blue chuckled and then motioned towards Step. “She’s fair game though.”

“Traitor!’ Step gasped and tapped him on the shoulder with a hoof. It was still hard enough to make him stumble. Earth pony strength and all that.

“Yes well I believe I shall enjoy my date tonight,” he countered with a smirk. “What were you doing again?”

“Learn to keep them before you start bragging,” Flash Step fired back. “Quantity does not equal quality.”

“Well, I happen to like this mare,” Blueblood defended himself. “So say whatever you want. I don’t care.”

Flash Step pouted, he still had a point. She hadn’t had a date in well… a long time. Most stallions were intimidated by the fact she was in the Guard. And she didn’t really fancy anypony in the Guard themselves. 

“This blows…” she muttered and flicked her tail, her ears flattening against her head. “Well, enjoy your date Bluey. I’ll be at the hotel. Alone…”

Aww, sad ponies were heart wrenching things to behold. Seriously, that was a face that could put an end to all wars. Kai reached over and scratched her ear.

“I’m sure there’s a stallion… or mare, I don’t judge, out there for you Steppy.”

“Why does you’re trying to make me feel better make me feel worse?” she groaned. “I don’t want pity. I want to get la—”

“Kai!” someone called his name and turned to see Twilight running towards him. Once she reached him, she had to pause and pant for a moment. Running was hard…

“I… have… phew, some news,” she said. “Oh, hi.”

“Hello Princess Twilight,” Blueblood greeted her cordially and Flash Step bowed her head. 

“So, what news?” Kai asked. 

“Oh, well Trixie said she and Prince Blueblood would be going out on a date tonight, and suggested that you and I come along, make it a double date.”

“Well…” Kai looked at Blueblood, who merely gave a small nod in return. “Alright then. I’ll head back to Rarity’s and get ready.”

“Okay!” Twilight said and turned, running off just as quickly. Once she had left, Blueblood turned to his sister.

“And now we both have a date tonight~”

“Oh, go mount a cactus!” she huffed and folded her forelegs as she pouted.





“You see, this stitch is done like this,” Rarity said as she showed Kai how to do a proper haute couture stitch… after Fluttershy had shown her how to do one. 

Kai’s own attempt was a little more clumsy, and his fingers had a few bandaids from the amount of times he’d pricked himself with the needle. Having magic like Rarity’s would have been useful. 

The reason he was learning? Well, he’d come to the mare looking for a little advice about dating and the topic of an outfit had come up. With little else besides the shirt on his back, Rarity had insisted on a new outfit for the event, as well as a more casual one to wear around town and the like. This current formal attire could also double as a uniform for when he was working with her in her Boutique.

She’d originally wanted to give them to him for free, but he’d managed to talk her up to at least accepting a little money out of his paycheck when he started earning one. 

“So, are you looking forward to the date tonight?” Rarity asked as she embroidered her logo on the jacket’s tag. The design he’d chosen was rather interesting. 

“A little, though I’m also worried,” Kai admitted. “I mean, I haven’t been on a real date in…” Well crap, he’d never been on one before. And those air headed bimbos that Mike constantly tried to set him up with didn’t count.

“Ah, well on the one bright side, I don’t think Twilight has ever been on one either,” Rarity chuckled. “Just relax and be yourself. Everything will be fine.”

“That advice could be cliche… if it wasn’t true,” Kai said back to her. “But, are there any pony things I should do? Social etiquette and such?”

“Hmm, I had not thought of that,” Rarity replied and tapped her chin. “Well, what does a human date normally consist of?”

“The usual,” Kai shrugged. “Dinner or a movie, something like that. “I suppose stuff like being overly affectionate on the first date is unacceptable. Though most books and stuff usually have a good night kiss at least.”

“Hmm, sounds about usual for here,” Rarity nodded in agreement. “And a nice dinner or a movie sound socially acceptable as well.” She placed the finished jacket aside and got to work on the hemline for the pants. 

“So, what about double dates?” Kai asked, causing the unicorn mare to pause.

“Double dates darling?”

“Yeah… well, more like a double-date with Blue and Trixie—”

“HI!” Pinkie exclaimed, popping up out of nowhere. But, anything else she was going to say was silenced as her muzzle was quickly clamped shut by Rarity’s magic. 

“That sounds wonderful darling. And I should have this outfit ready in time as well”

Well, if he had to wait… “If you have a book about fashion basics and terminology I could read while it’s quiet,” Kai nodded. “The more product knowledge I have, the better I can sell it.”

Rarity nodded and floated a slightly dusty book down from a high shelf. “There we are. Now, if you'll excuse me.” She headed for her dressmaking studio, dragging Pinkie along with her. Once they were out of earshot, she released the party mare, who inhaled loudly.

“Whaaaaat?” Pinkie pouted. “We totally coulda made it a super funsies triple-diple date.”

“Yes, we might have,” Rarity said. “But we shan’t step on the hooves of them just yet. This is their first date darling.” Rarity rubbed Pinkie’s head and kissed her cheek. “That said… we wouldn’t be good friends if we didn’t… make sure things went swimmingly now, hmm?”

“Incognito date?” Pinkie asked.

“You read my mind darling~”

Pinkie darted off to get reservations. Kai hadn’t even suspected why when Pinkie asked him where his date was as she left.





Twilight and Trixie walked towards the restaurant where they’d be meeting their stallions. The alicorn of the pair looked over a checklist.

“Okay, so.. dresses?”

Trixie looked over herself and Twilight. They looked fabulous. “Check.”

“Reference guides?” 

Trixie checked her saddlebags for the dating tips books they’d brought. “Check.”

“Note taking materials?” Twilight checked her own bags to find the quills, ink and scrolls. “Check.”

“Are we forgetting anything?” Trixie asked.

“I don’t believe so,” Twilight nodded. “We also have our bits, makeup kits and flashcards. I think we’re good to go.”

“This will be the perfect date~” Trixie giggled. “Nothing can go wrong.”

Fate smiled and cracked his knuckles. It was time to go to work…





Inside, Kai and Blueblood had already arrived and reached their reserved table. It was a nice place, that’s for sure. Kai had also received a small stipend from Celestia, as thanks for helping Twilight, and it should last until he could get on his feet.

Well, until he looked at the menu.

“I’m not even going to survive the eentres,” he muttered.

“Hmm, well I suppose I expected such cheap fare from a small town,” Blueblood mused. “Well, it looked better than that quaint cafe or—” he shuddered “—Burger Princess.”

Kai assumed that was the equivalent of McDonalds or Burger King. Gods… So. Many. Puns.

A voice got his attention and he turned his head in time to see Twilight and Trixie walk in. He tapped Blue on the shoulder and placed a hand on his head, turning it.

“Oh my…” the unicorn whispered. “They are quite lovely aren’t they?”

Trixie looked rather mature, her hair done up sort or reverse-ponytail thing. Kai mused the fact that ponies always had a pony tail.

Twilight’s dress shimmered like crystal and given the studded gems in both dresses, the human just knew that they would have Rarity’s label on them.

“We are rather lucky stallions, aren’t we?” Blue whispered and Kai just nodded, his eyes never leaving Twilight. And fact that once she was aware of, caused her to blush.

“Do I… look silly?” she asked as the two stallion got up and held their chairs out for them. 

“No, you look beautiful,” he replied and she blushed harder.

“And what of Trixie?” the unicorn asked her date. “Is she not beautiful as well?”

“Positively radiant,” Blueblood agreed. “Even the princesses cannot compare.”

For once, Trixie had nothing to say. Those books hadn’t warned them of flattery like this. And why was it so warm in here?

Kai sat back down, sitting higher than the rest. The chairs the ponies used were interesting, supporting the lower abdomen and chest, it left their back hooves to touch the ground, but kept their chest and forelegs up a little higher. It sort of looked like a wonky taco.

“Well, thank you for agreeing to this double date,” Twilight started, her eyes flicking to the flashcards that the pair of mares hid under the table. “I hope we’re not intruding.”

“Nonsense, it was Lady Trixie’s idea no?” Blueblood sipped his water. “And Mr. Kai here is a wonderful conversationalist once you get to know him.”

Well, if he said so. 

“You look nice too,” Twilight commented the human’s suit. It was one based on a manga that Kai showed Rarity, and he had to admit. He was rocking the look of Sebastian pretty well. 

“Thanks,” Kai smiled and placed a hand against his chest, bowing his head slightly. 





In a discrete table in the far corner, a pink mare wearing a fedora and a black vest, and a white unicorn with her hair done up in a bun and wearing something inspired by Luna were paying close attention to the four individuals.  

“So… they seem to be doing well so far,” Rarity said as she sipped her wine.

“Maybe…” Pinkie suddenly blinked, then her ear twitched, and she sneezed lightly.

“Oh dear, what does that mean?” Rarity asked. While she was more than used to her marefriend’s unique… senses. She still had a hard time remembering all the different combinations.

“Hmm, I think…” Pinkie looked back at Twilight and Trixie. “Yup, this is about to get interesting.”





“So, what shall we order for starters?” Blueblood asked as he glanced at the menu. “This spring vegetable salad looks nice.”

Trixie and Twilight panicked. Ah crap, they hadn’t researched the food. 

“W-We’ll… be right back,” Twilight suddenly said and headed for the bathroom, dragging Trixie along with her. 

The two stallions stared at the sudden exit, then to each other. 

“Is this a pony thing?” Kai asked.

“I honestly have no idea,” Blue replied. 

In the little mare’s room, Trixie and Twilight flicked through the dating guide. The alicorn stopped at a page and smiled. “Aha, here it is! I knew there’d be something.”

“Okay, so no salads for a main course? We’re ponies, what the heck else do we eat?’ Trixie scoffed.

“No vanilla ice-cream for dessert, it makes you look boring and unwilling to take risks?” Twilight looked at Trixie. “I like vanilla. Am I boring?”

“More or less,” Trixie replied as she continued to read. “Soup, because slurping at the dinner table is annoying and messy. Well, that one Trixie at least understand.”

“And don’t order milk, it make him think he’s dating a filly…” Twilight pouted. She wasn’t a big consumer of alcohol. “Maybe I could stick to water?”

“Oh yes, because that won’t make you look less boring,” Trixie snarked back.

“Wahh, I’m the Princess of Boring,’ Twilight groaned. “Books never lie. I’m a boring mare.”

“Oh do relax, Trixie is just teasing,” the unicorn pat the princess on the withers. “You’re dating the only human in all of Equestria. That excitement alone makes up for the fact you’re about as interesting as cardboard.”

“Wow, thanks,” Twilight deadpanned. 

“Trixie is here to help,” the mare nodded. “And think about it, Kai has never dated a pony before yes? That alone would be exciting for him.”

“So I’m doing what any pony could do?” Twilight said with an even flatter tone. 

“You are far too difficult to please,” Trixie sighed. “You’re an alicorn princess for buck’s sake! Now, we have our information. Let us return to the field of battle.”

“Um… what?” Twilight replied as a waiter dropped a pan in the kitchen.

“Love is war!” Trixie declared and marched back out to the restaurant. Twilight just rolled her eyes and followed her.





Kai gave the two a curious look when they returned. “Everything okay?” he asked. Had he done something wrong?

“Yes, I uh, had to fix something on my dress,” Twilight said quickly. She breathed a sigh of relief when the human seemed to buy that response. “So… eentres?”

“Yes, I’ll have the spring salad,’ Blueblood nodded once he flagged down a waiter. “Lady Trixie?”

Trixie glanced at the menu and squeaked. Holy Tartarus this was expensive. “Um, yes. Trixie believes she will have the same.”

“And for the madame and the… sir?” the waiter asked Kai and Twilight. 

“Hmm, oh?” Kai saw something he liked the look of. “These coconut prawns. They sound tasty.”

Twilight momentarily forgot he was an omnivore. “Well, nothing ventured… and I’ll show I’m not boring,” she muttered. “I’ll have the same as him thank you.”

That threw the waiter for a loop. While it was normally a dish for Griffons, or the odd Pegasus… he’d never had a unicorn order it. 

“As the madame wishes,’ he finally said. “And, shall you be having a drink with that?”

“Yes, bring us a bottle of this,” Blueblood said and pointed at the menu with his horn. The stallion nodded and left their table. Once he’d gone, Blueblood turned to his date. “Well, some smalltalk is in order I believe. Tell me about yourself Trixie. What is it you do exactly?”

“Well, aside from running the library here in Ponyville, Trixie performs shows of illusionary magic, sleight of hoof and daring escapes. None can compare to the Great and Powerful Trrrrrrixie!!” She thrust a hoof in the air for emphasis.

“Ah, good thing I wasn’t using that pesky little thing called hearing,” Twilight winced, rubbing her ear. “Still, how did you get that library job?”

“Ah, a tale for the ages,” Trixie nodded. “It is filled with mystery, intrigue, adventure and romance.”

“Ten bits says somepony asked her and she had nothing else to do,” Kai snickered and Trixie deflated somewhat.

“Trixie tells it better,” she sighed and sat back down. 

“I think it is wonderful, teaching the young,” Blueblood smiled. “I used to be… well, somepony that barely deserved the title of stallion, let alone that of royalty. It took a rather outstanding mare hating my guts and some stern words from my aunt… but the final nail in that coffin?” Blueblood sighed and underneath that pompous nature and hair gel, was a stallion like any other. “My little sister, a pony I had long antagonised. She said how much she hated me and the stallion I had become. That… that hurt more than any spell or sword ever could.”

“I don’t think I could ever say that I hated Shining Armor,” Twilight said softly. Trixie and Kai were only childs, but they still sympathised with him. 

“Ahh, but I’m spoiling the mood,” Blue waved a hoof. “Tell me Princess Twilight. How fare you and your stallion here?”

“Ooh yes,” Trixie smiled and turned her predatory gaze on Twilight. “Tell us Princess. Has he ‘raided the royal treasure vault’ yet~?”

“T-Trixie!” Twilight blushed and bat a hoof at the mare. “You don’t ask that during a date!”

“You don’t?” Trixie looked through her flashcards. Twilight was right, avoid raunchy humour until you get to know your date better. “Oh ponyfeathers.”

“As we told Pinkie and Rarity,” Kai blushed and facepalmed. “We’re just taking it slow. Neither of us are in any rush, and both of us need to get used to this idea.”

“Trixie apologises for her crudeness,” the mare said, and blushed when Blueblood laughed.

“Oh my, I simply must take you to a formal event in Canterlot,” he chuckled. “You’d go down a treat.”

“L-let’s get past this date first,” Trixie blushed. Thankfully, the waiter brought out their order before she could embarrass herself further. 

“Your salads and… prawns,” he paused slightly as he gave Kai and Twilight their dishes. Twilight looked at her dish and gulped. These little orange things used to be alive. And now she was supposed to eat them? All because she had to prove that she wasn’t a boring mare.

“Twilight,” Kai whispered and she looked up. “You don’t have to force yourself. You can order something else if you want.”

“No… no, I can do this!” she said and looked down, gulping. Come on Sparkle. You stared down Nightmare Moon, took on a Changeling army and Discord, twice! This was just a meal. Food meant to be eaten. Just do it!!

She speared one with her fork, wincing as she felt the tips spear the flesh as she slowly lifted it up and towards the quivering lip. She gulped and then jammed it into her mouth, the rubbery flesh squeaking against her teeth and she blinked in surprise at the taste. Aside from the coconut, it tasted…

“This…” She swallowed and looked at her plate. “This is actually pretty good!”

“And thus, the mighty prawn is devoured by the apex predator, the alicorn,” Kai said in a tone reminiscent of a documentary host he loved. “In this great circle of life, the alicorn mare will go on to feed her young, ensuring a future generation of predators lives on.”

Twilight coughed as she stared at him, while Blueblood just blinked. Trixie just laughed along with the human. Twilight grabbed her glass of water and gulped it down before gasping slightly.

“That’s… not funny,” she said, even though she was smiling a little.

“You’re right,” Kai nodded. “That was hilarious.”

“So,” Blueblood smirked. “Are you going to work on giving her those young then?”

Now it was Kai’s turn to splutter and cough as Twilight just blushed harder.

Trixie was fairly certain she’d found her soulmate. 





“Aww, we’re missing out on all the fun,” Pinkie pouted as she sipped her soda. After the Great Incident, it was unanimously decided by the entirety of Ponyville that Pinkie Pie was never allowed to consume alcohol again.

“They do seem to be getting along famously don’t they?” Rarity tittered as she sipped her wine. 

“Hmm, but I don’t see anything that would have triggered my Pinkie Sense™. So… I wonder what it could be?”

“I personally hope it’s nothing,” Rarity said and smiled. “Now love, what do you want to eat?”

“Hmm, I kinda wanna try those prawn thingies,” Pinkie hummed. “I wonder if I could make a prawn cake?”

Rarity turned a rather interesting shade of green and shook her head. “Two azelea salads please,” she asked their waitress.





Soon it came time to order the main dish and once again, Trixie and Twilight were at a loss. All they knew was not to order soup.

“I believe I’ll take the soup,” Blueblood said. “It’s the house speciality yes?”

“Indeed Sir, we are rather proud of this dish,” the waiter nodded.

Trixie and Twilight stared at one another. 

“‘Scuse us,” the showmare said before dragging Twilight off. Kai looked at Blueblood again, but the stallion seemed as equally confused. 





“He… he broke the rule. He ordered soup!” Trixie panicked as she paced around the bathroom. “Do stallions have a different book to go by? Our book doesn’t mention that. We’re screwed!”

“Calm down,” Twilight said as she leafed through the book. It was true that it didn’t mention anything. And then she reached a section near the end that described what to do if a date escalated to… evening activities and she squeaked, dropping the book and blushing. “No need to panic. We can assume stallions have a different set of rules. And slurping soup does seem like a ‘stallion-y’ thing to do. Shining Armor did it all the time when we had soup.”

She pulled out the notes she’d been writing in secret. So far, Kai hadn’t done anything out of what Twilight considered to be ordinary. Was he perhaps following a pony guide? So that he wouldn’t offend Twilight. Aww, he was so sweet~

“Twilight Sparkle, get your head out of the clouds!” Trixie poked her. “We have to come up with a solution. You’re the smart one, I’m the charismatic one with a personality. Surely we can figure this out.”

“Hey, I ate bucking prawns!” Twilight shot back. “And the fact that I thought they were delicious now makes me think I’m an omnivore. I’m not even a pony anymore!”

“You know pegasi eat fish yes?” Trixie deadpanned. “They adapted when Cloudsdale used to be over the ocean, before they came up with the tornado method for transferring water from other towns.”

“…Wow, it’s hard to forget you’re actually smart sometimes,” Twilight said, genuinely impressed with that fact. 

“Trixie will smother you in your sleep,” the unicorn muttered. “Look, what are we going to do? Trixie thinks she really likes Prince Georgeous. So don’t screw this up for Trixie!”

“I’m not the one making perverted jokes in public!” Twilight shot back. “Look, let’s just review the material we have and come up with a workable solution.”

“Trixie agrees with your idea,” the mare nodded as Twilight opened her notes.





“So uh… are they, coming back?” Blueblood asked the human, glancing at the clock. Trixie and Twilight had been in there for almost a half-hour. 

Kai saw a pink-coated mare headed for the bathroom and tapped her as she walked past. “Excuse me Miss, our dates have been gone a while and I think one might be sick from something she ate. I don’t suppose I could bother you to check if they’re okay?”

Rarity held her breath as Kai pulled Pinkie Pie over. 

And yet…

He didn’t recognise her? 

How!?

“I can do that,” Pinkie nodded and headed for the bathroom. 

“That mare… looks familiar somehow,” Blueblood said.

“Really?” Kai asked. “I dunno. Ponies all kinda look the same to me. I tend to rely on hairstyles and Cutie Marks to tell you all apart. And Twilight’s the only alicorn around here, so that makes it easy for me.”

“Truly?” Blueblood asked. “You cannot tell by normal means? Scent, eye shape and ears?

“Not really… I dunno about the scent thing though, I don’t exactly go around sniffing my friends,” Kai said. “Look, sitting here, I can smell your cologne. Or the food in front of me, but that’s about it.”

“Such limited senses, next thing you’ll tell me you can’t see colour.”

“No, I can see colour just fine,” Kai replied. “My vision isn’t 20-20 per say, I should be wearing glasses when I read or use the computer. But I hate wearing them.” 

“Well, that truly is interesting,” Blueblood nodded.





Inside the bathroom, Twilight suddenly had a feeling she was missing out on something important.





When Pinkie reached the bathroom, she opened the door and gasped. Twilight and Trixie had notes everywhere as they compared data and discussed variables.

“What. The. Cupcakes!’ she gasped and stepped inside. “Uh, you ladies know your dates are waiting on you right?”

Twilight turned her head, “Oh, hey Pinkie. We’ll be…” she stopped and one could hear the ticking noise in her head if they listened close enough. “Wha? Pinkie Pie!?”

“Oh good, somepony recognised me,” Pinkie nodded. “And duh, Rarity and me came along to watch out for you guys. Good thing we did, you’re supposed to be on a date, not… eggheading it up in a bathroom.”

“Oh gosh, how long have we been here?” Twilight looked at the clock and gasped. “Almost an hour!?” 

“Trixie wouldn’t be surprised if they left us here,” the mare sighed. 

“Nopidope, Kai and Bluey are still here, but you two need to get out there,” Pinkie said and pushed them towards the door. “Look, forget your research. Just be yourselves alright? Love doesn’t follow facts and figures. Just be yourselves and everything will be alright.”

Twilight and Trixie looked at one another, still a little uncertain.

“Look, I’ll clean this up. Just. Go!” Pinkie shoved them out of the door and sighed before looking at the bathroom. Something clicked and she gasped. “Oohh, so that’s what that combo means!”

Outside, Twilight and Trixie were very scared.

“Did… Did Pinkie Pie of all ponies just give us love advice that sounded… viable?” Twilight gulped.

“Trixie is scared too, and Trixie may require a hot shower and her blankie later. But yes, we should return to our date.”

“Right, just be ourselves…” Twilight nodded and turned towards the table. “Let’s go.”





“So let me get this straight,” Kai said as he walked back to Rarity’s with Twilight. “You two were researching while on a date? About how to have a successful date?”

“Mhmm,” Twilight nodded, only now realising how silly that probably was.

“You had flashcards, and text books… and everything?” Kai snorted in amusement. “You really are my cute little bookworm princess.”

“Oh shut up,” Twilight pouted. “I feel bad enough that Pinkie already pointed all that out.”

“Well, Pinkie and Rarity are a thing right? Is it so unusual that you got advice from someone with actual experience.” 

So. Much. Experience…

“Well… when you put it that way,” Twilight said as they reached the Boutique. There was a note tacked to the door.

‘Pinkie and I will be staying at her house tonight. We shall give you some space in case you want to talk some things out privately. 

Have fun, and we’ll see you in the morning.

With love, Rarity.

P.S. I have access to more whipped cream here, so Rarity ‘might’ not be home until later ~ Pinkie.’

“I goddamn swear she’s doing it on purpose now,” Kai groaned as Twilight got a spare key out that Rarity lent her. 

“Do what?” Twilight asked as she opened the door.

“Nothing… nothing at all,” Kai sighed. Once inside, the human put a pot of tea on as Twilight went to change out of her dress. Once she returned, Kai gave her the once over and nodded.

“Yup, dress or no dress, you’re still beautiful,” he said and Twilight blushed. She swore that she’d no longer be able to turn her blush off if he kept that up.

“Stop it,” she murmured. “I know I’m not that pretty. Not like Cadence or Princess Celestia. I’m just a boring little bookworm po—”

She found herself cut off as Kai kissed her, putting an arm around her and lifting her. She put her hooves around his neck to keep balance as he deepened it, his tongue caressing hers as she gave a soft, pleasured moan. 

Once he broke it, he kept her in that position as he stared into her large, shimmering eyes. 

“Now look, you aren’t boring, not to me, okay? Because of you, I’ve seen things I’d have thought impossible. And even after everything. Jumping dimensions, meeting beings that move the heavenly bodies and a weird perverted pink mare that seems to warp reality itself. Even after all that, you are still the one I find most interesting.” He placed another soft kiss on her lips and rubbed her ear with his free hand. “Tonight was wonderful. You were wonderful. I… I think I’m falling in love with you Twilight.”

Twilight gasped, her eyes watering as her lips trembled. “I…” Oh Celestia, what should she say. That was beautiful. And the guide didn’t explain this either. Nor did Pinkie.

But then, that didn’t matter did it? What mattered was what she thought. 

What did she think? What did she feel? 

She smiled, that answer was all too easy.

“I think I love you too,” she said softly and hugged him, her tears wetting his shoulder. 

“So… all those worries have stopped bugging you have they?” Kai asked, stroking her mane.

“Mhmm…” Twilight nodded and smiled. “So um, we have the place to ourselves… what do you think, we should do?” She’d like to think, but she couldn't concentrate over the sound of her heart pounding in her ears.

“Well, ah…” Kai rubbed the back of his head and blushed. “We could…” Crapcrapcrap! What would Twilight like? What would he be comfortable with? “How about… cuddling and reading a book?”

“That,” Twilight’s cheeks turned pink. “Actually sounds really nice. Sure, let’s go~”

Kai nodded and followed the mare upstairs. And hey, at least he’d get a good night’s sleep tonight.
> Relationships are tricky.
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kai was having a great morning. Sleeping in Twilight’s room had been amazing!

And no, not like that you bloody pervs. 

Apparently she had some sound dampening spell and so the pair agreed to share the room for the duration of their stay. Twilight had been equal parts horrified and greatly amused at Kai’s poor plight over that last few days. So even if the pair were still deciding if they should share a bed, he could at least camp on the floor with a pile of pillows and blankets.

The look on Rarity’s face this morning when she’d discovered the pair asleep in a pillow fort upon the bed had been highly amusing as well.

And once breakfast had been consumed, Twilight had gone right over to the library to start on her research, while Kai was taking a brief walk around town. Rarity opened her store later on Thursdays, but closed later, so he had an hour or two to kill.

“So, how was your big date?” Flash Step asked as she cantered beside the human. The pair had met up and the mare decided that he should do her morning exercise with him. Reluctant, but seeing as he had nothing better to do.

“It was really good actually,” Kai replied as Flash increased her pace, forcing him to do the same. “Watching Twilight eat shrimp was pretty funny. And Trixie and Blue seemed to hit it off pretty well as well.”

“Well, how about that,” Flash mused. That look on her face showed that Blue likely had an interrogation in his near future. “So, you get any afterwards?”

“Seriously!?” Kai yelled, taking a swipe at her head, though the nimble mare ducked and laughed. “Give me a break Steppy.”

“Nope, tis my noble task as your BPFF to meddle in your affairs and poke fun at your interspecies relationship!”

Kai stumbled for a second and blinked. “My what now? The hell is BPFF?”

“Best Pony Friend Forever,” Steppy replied as she rounded a corner and the pair raced towards the park.

“You can meddle all you like as long as you promise to never use that godawful acronym ever again,” Kai muttered as he sprinted, actually passing the mare for a second. Hah, long-legged bipeds rule!

Aaaand there went Flash Step. God that mare was fricken fast. Mind you, he hadn’t seen any other ponies run flat out like that, be he had no chance in outspeeding that mare. He was fairly certain a Lamborghini would have trouble outspeeding that mare.





“So… you’re getting more comfortable with the idea of dating a pony?” Flash asked as the pair lay on a cool, grassy embankment. They were staring up at the clouds after doing some cooling down exercises. 

“I guess,” Kai shrugged. “I mean, I see Twilight for who she is, instead of what. I mean, that’s the idea anyway. It’s not fair to her otherwise.”

“You humans are so weird,” Flash Step chuckled and jabbed his ribs with a hooftip. “Don’t worry. I doubt the princess is going anywhere. So don’t rush things okay?”

“Yeah I know…” Kai blinked and looked up, before raising a hand and pointing. “Hey, is that Rainbow… whatshername?” 

“Hmm?” Flash Step followed his direction and looked up. Yeah, that was Rainbow Dash alright, hard to mistake those colours…

So why was she in freefall… “HOLY HORSEAPPLES!” Flash yelled as she jumped to her hooves. A quick estimation of where she needed to be and she ran.

Not the casual jog or light sprint she showed off before, she ran. As in, one second she was next to Kai.

A blink of the eyes later had her over thirty feet away. She actually left a contrail as she tore towards the space where she estimated that Rainbow was going to crash. She suddenly leapt, her calculations dead on as she met the falling mare a couple of meters off of the ground, catching her and twisting her body, landing on her back and skidding to a stop as she cradled the pegasus in her limbs.

Her ears were still ringing from the crash-landing, but she could make out Kai calling for her, having taken a few seconds to register what had actually happened and get up to follow her. 

“H-Hey,” Flash Step poked the prone prismatic pegasus with a hoof. “Oi, you okay? Still alive?”

Rainbow groaned, her ears flicking and moving towards the noise. “Hunh… ow… what, what happened?”

“You flew like a rock,” the earth mare said. “Now, think you can stand, though I don’t mind having a cute mare in my arms~”

“Gah!” Rainbow jumped up suddenly, before wincing and nearly falling over, only to be steadied by Kai. “Ahh, thanks.”

“S’okay,” he nodded and held her steady as Flash Step got up. “So, what happened?”

Rainbow groaned and rubbed her head. “Pocket of dead air… Dunno what happened really. One sec I was flying, next I was waking up here…”

“Dead air?” 

“Winged species like Pegasi and Thestrals need magic to fly,” Flash Step explained. “Sometimes you can hit ‘pockets’ of air that have low magic, or none at all.”

“Happens a lot around the Everfree,” Rainbow sighed and shook her head. “It’s stupid, I was lost in thought and couldn’t recover when I hit it.” She shuddered and her wings flicked. “You… you saved my life… uh…”

“Flash Step,” the mare saluted. “And it’s not like I was going to do nothing. Still, you’re welcome.”

Rainbow nodded as Kai released her. She was a little shaken, but otherwise okay. 

“Yeah well, I still owe ya,” Rainbow nodded. “How about I treat you to lunch sometime?”

“Hmm, it’s a date,” Flash Step smiled and nodded.

“Cool,” Rainbow smirked and trotted off. Once she’d left, Kai sighed and facepalmed, earning a quizzical look from his friend

“What?” Flash Step asked, wincing slightly as she took a few steps. Landing on her back like that flipping hurt.

“Did you seriously just save her life, then get a date out of it?”

“That's just how I roll,” Flash Step nodded with a smug smile. “So Blueblood can suck a rusty horseshoe. I can get a date if I want to!”

“I have no words,” Kai sighed and shook his head. “I humbly bow to your superior powers of swag.”

“Damn right,” Flash Step nodded as she rubbed her chest with a hoof. “Also, aren't you late for work?”

Kai blinked as his gaze turned to the large clock tower near the center of town.

It read 9:21 am.

Rarity’s store opened at 9:30…

“Ah fuck me,” the human swore as he started running towards the Boutique. 

“Princess Twilight might like to~” Flash Step called out after him.

“Oh shut up!”





Twilight stared at her portal device, it was built… mostly. But for some reason, she couldn’t get it to work. The spell matrix just wouldn't remain stable. 

She’d never admit to Trixie on how close she came to collapsing the library in a quantum singularity. 

“Aaaarrgh!! Why. Won't. You. WORK!?” The frustrated alicorn yelled as she tossed a few pieces of paper. 

During her tirade, the door to the basement creaked open as Trixie poked her head in. She arched an eyebrow at some of Twilight’s… choice words.

“Somehow, Trixie thinks your portal neither has a mother, nor are you biologically capable of doing that.”

Twilight flinched and looked up at the unicorn at the top of the stairs. “Aahaha… hiii Trixie.”

Trixie’s eyebrow arched a little further. She trotted down the stairs, looking around as she did. Admittedly, she'd never known the basement was here, much less used it.

Trixie was fairly certain she could keep it tidier than this. Sheets of paper were strewn everywhere. Old plates of food and glasses of water and cider. 

“Sparkle,” Trixie said slowly. “You need to stop reading these dusty old books.”

Twilight froze. Did… did she just. An intense feeling of nostalgia washed over her. 

“Honestly, you have a town full of friends, go out and catch up with them,” Trixie sighed as she started nudging Twilight with her magic. As the alicorn passes her, Trixie wrinkled her nose and snorted. “But perhaps take a shower first. You look like you wrestled a Timber Wolf.”

“Yes mom,” Twilight giggled as she left the basement. She was surprised to see how far Trixie had come. The fact she was looking out for somepony other than herself?

Trixie’s smile widened as Twilight left the basement. She’d finally left this place and Trixie could go through her research and finally surpass her rival!

She lifted the closest pieces of paper and stared at them.

Aaaand stared at them.

….still staring.

“Trixie cannot make heads or hooves of this jibber jabber!” the unicorn tossed the papers into the air. “Curse you Twilight Sparkle. Writing all your secrets in code!”

It was just advanced thaumaturgical equations…





“Sorry again for being late,” Kai apologised as he adjusted the buttons on his waistcoat. The uniform Rarity made him fit like a glove, and given the formal nature of the outfit, he still found it rather comfortable to wear.

“Not a problem, just don't make a habit of it,” Rarity replied with a smile. “Now… where should I have you start? I have some new bolts of silk from Saddle Arabia that need sorting…” 

Kai nodded and headed for the adjoining store room. As he did, the bell above her door rang signaling a customer.

“Welcome to Rarity’s Boutique, where everything is chic, unique and magnifique~” the unicorn gave her usual spiel. “Oh, hello Spoiled dear. How are you this morning?”

Spoiled Rich, one of the wealthiest ponies in Ponyville, also one of the most… 

“Well I still live is this squalor of a town,” she sniffed, turning her nose up in the air. “Thank Celestia for this little slice of civilization.”

The snobbish earth pony looked over at Rarity’s latest Spring line. “I have a dinner party coming up, so I require something that won't have me looking like the lower sort. Something new and fresh.”

“Well, I have a new line line of winter wear,” Rarity offered. “It's been doing quite well in Canterlot…” She paused. “Kai dear. Could you bring out the dresses on the rack in the adjoining room please?”

Spoiled blinked. Rarity had hired some kind of assistant? And what kind of odd name was that? A griffon maybe? 

The curtain parted as Kai pushed a long clothes rack out into the showroom. It held about a dozen dresses, but Spoiled was far more focused in the… the creature that was pushing it. It was… What in Celestia’s name was that horrid thing? It was ungodly tall, and seemed to only have a short brown mane on its head, with tanned skin and no fur.

Spoiled reeled back slightly, "Rarity, why is there a shaved ape in your store? That's hardly sanitary. Is it one of that Flutter mare's pets?"

Kai’s eye gave a small twitch. Her tone of voice instantly placed her in his mind as one of those customers.  

“What? Oh no darling.” Rarity snorted and shook her head. “Kai here is no pet. He is a dear friend of Princess Twilight and has started to assist me here.”

“Good morning Ma’am,” Kai flashed a well-practiced smile. “How may I assist you today?” ‘Strike one.’

“It even speaks?” Spoiled blinked again. “So it's intelligent then?”

‘Moreso that you I see,’ Kai mused. ‘Also. Strike Two.’

“Kai is very smart,” Rarity agreed, not quite sure what to say here without insulting the man. She glanced at him and he gave her a small wink and a smile. Oh good. “Now for that dress. Did you have an idea of what you'd like?”

“Well obviously I'd like something far better than anypony else in the room,” Spoiled scoffed. “What is a mare of high class if she does not show it?”

Then the door slammed open as a pink blur dashed in and up the stairs.

“Speaking of low class…” Spoiled muttered under her breath.

Then Pinkie appeared in front of them, a box of coloured streamers on her back. “I'm so silly,” she giggle-snorted. “How can I throw the bestest birthday for Petunia Paleo if I don't have streamers?”

“What about the box you keep in the large tree by the park?” Rarity asked. “Wouldn’t that have been closer?” 

“Truueee,” Pinkie said. “But then I couldn't do this!” 

*mwah!*

And with her words sealed with a kiss, she happily bounced away as Rarity chuckled and shook her head at her marefriends antics.

“Honestly,” Spoiled sighed as Rarity moved to separate the dresses. “What does she see in a classless mare like that?”

Rarity may not have overheard that, but Kai sure did.

‘Steeeeerike three. Trollmode ACTIVATE!’

“You know, I don't think these dresses will cut it,” Kai suddenly said. 

Both mares turned, Rarity surprised and Spoiled looked disinterested. 

“Whatever do you mean?” Rarity asked him. This was her latest work. What was so bad about it?

“I mean, don't get me wrong. They're wonderful dresses,” Kai continued. “But if you're selling them in Canterlot too. Then I'd imagine quite a few ponies would own one by now. Miss Rich here needs something more… unique.”

From there, he moved to a rack where Rarity kept the budget dresses. Nothing over fifty bits usually. He took one off, a simple black dress with a lace hemline and straps over the shoulders. “I think this one will look good. It suits your coat colour -- ‘And your nasty personality.’ -- “Plus I doubt any other pony will be wearing anything quite like it.”

“Darling, that one is a tad old and it's also—”

“Retro,” Kai continued. “Just think Miss Rich, you could start a whole new fashion trend. Every pony would see you as the start of a brand new way of thinking.”

“You know Rarity, I like the way he thinks,” Spoiled chuckled. “Indeed. How much is that?”

“Well, normally the common pony couldn’t afford something of this caliber,” Kai sighed wistfully. “Such fine silk and intricate lace doesn't come cheap…”

Spoiled snorted and scoffed. “I will have you know that my husband is the richest pony in Ponyville,” Spoiled puffed out her chest. “Name your price monkey.”

‘And just for that…’

He removed the 35 bit price tag. “I mean… two hundred bits might be a bit mu--”

“Is that all?” Spoiled chuckled. She floated the coins out, two platinum bits. “There!”

Rarity had no idea what was going on. She just nodded as Kai bagged the dress up and Spoiled left the store.

Once she was well out of earshot…

“Kai… what in Equestria did you do that for!?” Rarity scolded him. “For starters. That wasn't a dress. that was a negligee. And it was worth absolutely no where near that price tag!”

“I know,” Kai said with a smirk. “The insults against me I can forgive. But she dissed Pinkie. And no-one, especially some Spoiled brat like that, insults my friends.”

Rarity paused. Spoiled said something about Pinkie Pie? Part of her wanted to race out and show Spoiled her own beating heart…

“I'll forgive it this one time,” Rarity mused. “Don’t do it again okay?”

“Of course,” Kai nodded and put a hand to his chest, giving a formal bow.

“Now!” the unicorn declared. “Let's have some tea and biscuits.”

“Huh? Already?” Kai blinked as he looked as the clock.

“Dealing with her exhausts me,” Rarity swooned. “Now come. I'll show you how to make Twilight’s favorite tea.”

Now that was a lesson he could get behind.





“I can’t believe how much I’ve missed this,” Twilight sighed contently as she sipped her tea. 

“Yes, I’m so glad you’re back in Ponyville,” Fluttershy replied as she poured a fresh cup for herself. “I… I wasn’t sure, if you would ever come back…”

Twilight felt the guilt prickle her heart as she set her cup down. “I really didn’t mean it,” she said. “I just got so lost in my research. To prove that, that I was worthy of these things—” she gave an idle flutter of her wings. “—That I fell back into old habits.”

“I understand,” Fluttershy nodded and smiled. “It must have been difficult, having such a responsibility thrust upon you so suddenly.” She reached over and placed a hoof on Twilight’s. “No matter what, we’ll always be your friends okay?”

Twilight giggled and wiped a tear from her eye. “Thanks Fluttershy. I love you girls too. No matter what.” She snorted and wiped her eyes again. “Gaah! I came here to catch up, not get all weepy.”

Fluttershy giggled and booped her nose. “Well, you’re very adorable. So it’s forgivable.” She refilled Twilight’s cup and nudged the plate of biscuits forward. “So, what would you like to know?”

“Well… Pinkie and Rarity certainly caught me off guard,” Twilight admitted. “How about you? Any special somepony in your life?”

“Ohmy,” Fluttershy blushed and ducked behind her mane. “Goodness no. No stallion or mare would put up with all my animals. And I wouldn’t abandon them for the sake of romance, so I’m still rather single I’m afraid.”

“Aww, who wouldn’t like all these cuties?” Twilight giggled as she levitated a biscuit over to a pair of waiting squirrels. “I mean… you can keep the snakes and spiders. But the rest are cute~”

“Still have that fear huh?” Fluttershy hummed. “I could help with that you know. Even snakes are nice once you get to know them.”

“Yeeaaahhhhno,” Twilight waved a hoof. Angel Bunny lay curled up in her lap, sleeping peacefully. 

‘I can’t believe how good she really is with them,’ Fluttershy smiled. Almost all her pets and critters were comfortable around Twilight, even the normally precocious Angel. ‘It’s a shame she’s already taken…’

“Fluttershy?” Twilight’s voice snapped the mare out of her introspection. “Is everything alright?”

“Huh? Oh, yes,” the mare nodded. “So um… how are you and Kai doing? He is your coltfriend yes?”

“I… yes,” Twilight nodded. “We’re taking it slow. Kai is… well his species only dates it’s own. They’re the only intelligent species on their world. So they don’t have much choice really. So being a pony, I can understand that he has to get used to dating someone that isn’t human.”

“Still, it doesn’t sound fair to you,” Fluttershy said.

“Yes, but we’re used to dating outside our species,” Twilight explained. “Griffons, Zebras, heck, even Diamond Dogs and Dragons.” She closed her eyes and then opened them. “Look at it like this. “What if you were suddenly in a world full of only talking rabbits.”

“Awww, that sounds adorable,” Fluttershy cooed.

“It does,” Twilight giggled. “But, what if you fell in love with one? Could you date a critter as easily as you would a pony?”

“I… don’t even think I could date a pony,” Fluttershy whispered as she pictured that. A pair of hooves holding her close, whispering sweet words into her ear as her laven…

“Okay, I think I can see what you mean,’ Fluttershy blushed and shook her head to clear the… stimulating thoughts. “I’m just glad you’re safe, and that you’re happy.”

“You know…” Twilight smiled brightly. “I really am Flutters. Happy that is.”

“As long as you are,” Fluttershy nodded. ‘I can be happy as long as you are.’ She sipped at her tea and hummed. The birds chirped in a nearby tree as the friends sat in relative silence for a moment of three, the sun warming their coats as a gentle breeze caressed them. 

“So, what about anypony else?” Twilight suddenly asked. “Do they have a special somepony aside from Rarity and Pinkie?”

“W-Well,” Fluttershy blushed lightly. “Applejack doesn’t as far as I‘m aware… but…”





“You know,” Flash Step replied as she sat at a table opposite Rainbow Dash. “When you said ‘sometime’ I wasn’t expecting it so soon.”

“Eh, waiting is a pain,” Dash shrugged. “So, pick whatever you like okay? My treat, so you can have whatever you like.”

“Oh, okay?” Step looked at the menu. She wasn’t used to… well, whatever this was. Still, Rainbow was a very pretty mare. And that flank~ Mmmrrr~

Eventually, the Earth Pony settled for a simple hayburger and some fries. Rainbow got a salad and a glass of lemonade.

“Gotta keep my awesome shape after all,” the mare chuckled. “You wouldn’t believe the exercise I have to do after a Pinkie Pie party.”

“Wish I knew,” Flash Step sighed. “Now matter how much I eat, I never seem to put on weight.”

Rainbow paused, her eyes wide. “Careful… I think you just made enemies of most of the mares in Equestria.”

“Maybe,” Flash Step mused as the waiter brought out their food. Dash tore into hers with gusto, leaving Flash to blink for a moment. This was… the oddest date she’d been on. Maybe Rainbow just wasn’t all that great at them?

“Maaan the food here is goood,” Rainbow sighed after destroying her salad. She looked up at Flash Step and tilted her head slightly. “Uh, you okay there? You seem a bit spaced out.”

“Huh?” Flash blinked. “Y-Yeah I’m okay. Just… it’s odd is all.”

“Odd?” Rainbow tilted her head the other way, before something kissed her cheek and she squeaked, blushing and flapping. Both mares turned to see a unicorn stallion with a cheeky smile on his face. He had a brown coat, the colour of chestnut and a reddish mane and tail. His green eyes twinkled with mischief and his Cutie Mark was an odd circle of symbols.

“Hey Little Bird,” he mused, kissing Rainbow’s ear and stepped back as she took a swipe at him. “I was looking for you.”

“Stahpit,” the mare grumbled, blushing. “And what is it? I’m having lunch with a friend.”

‘Friend?’

“Not much, only that I’ll be home a little late tonight. A new book came in and I simply have to study it,” he said with a giddy smile. Rainbow rolled her eyes and booped his nose.

“Fine. but you owe me Mister. Usual payment will be fine.”

“One order of my special dish and a night of cuddles?” he repeated, making her blush and cuff his ear again. 

‘Is he, her coltfriend?’

“Yes,” she muttered. Now go on and get. I’ll see you later okay?”

“As you say, My little Dashie~” he mused and pecked her lips as he danced out of reach and trotted off.

“He’s begging for a thunderbolt up his butt,” Rainbow muttered, the tips of her ears burning as Flash looked down at her half eaten meal. 

‘I… never even asked. I-I feel sick.’

“Hey, you sure you’re okay there?” Rainbow asked, looking at the mare across the table.

‘Kai and Blue will laugh their asses off when they hear about this…’

“I’m fine,” Flash smiled as she continued to eat. ‘Aside from the fact I feel like a complete bucking moron.’

“Well, if you say so,” Rainbow shrugged, oblivious to Flash’s inner turmoil. “Still, I was super lucky you were there in the park. That catch was amazing. I bet you’re a killer hoofball player.”

“Not really,” Flash murmured as she ate as quickly as she could. She just wanted to leave now.

“Well, you should totally play with me and AJ sometime,” Rainbow chuckled. “I’d love to wipe that smug smirk off her face when you hand her flank to her on a platter.”

“Maybe,” Flash’s single word reply came through. Rainbow rubbed the back of her head awkwardly. The atmosphere had gotten really weird all of a sudden. 

“Uh, is this about Written?” she asked. “Sorry if that was weird. He‘s an ass and likes to embarrass me in public as much as possible.”

“Is…” Flash set her plate down. “Is he your coltfriend?”

“Mhm,” Rainbow nodded. “Been… maybe four months now? He’s kind of a nerd and snarks at almost anything. Kinda like a stallion Twilight actually,” Rainbow chuckled. “Still, he’s alright I guess. We met at the last Daring Do convention. He’s a pretty decent writer when he’s not being sarcastic and all OCD about almost everything.”

“I see…” Flash chuckled weakly. “S’good. You’re… cute together.” She stood up and dropped some bits on the counter. “Thanks for lunch. But I got something important to take care off. Guard stuff and all that. Yeah…” And before Rainbow could mount any sort of reply, the mare took off.

“Huh?” Dash blinked as she stared at the golden coins and the now abandoned seat. “What… just happened?”





Flash Step was a few blocks away now, panting heavily as she turned into an alley and sat against a wall, rubbing tears from her eyes. “What a bucking idiot!” she whispered to herself. “That wasn’t a date… I, I got my damned hopes up without even checking…” She smacked the wall with a hoof, ignoring the stinging pain. “And now… now I feel like…” She snarled and smacked the wall once more, chipping the wooden frame. She just sat there for Celestia-knows how long. 

She looked up at the sky, noticing that it had already turned a deep orange-red. It was sunset already? Flash got to her hooves and let out a deep sigh. Her mood hadn’t really improved, but she couldn’t sit in a dirty… actually, it was surprisingly clean for an alleyway. 

“Come on Flashy. You bucked up. Now, quit crying and pull your shit together,” she muttered to herself as she wiped her eyes and snorted. “I just hope Kai or Blue don’t find out about this,” she muttered as she started to head for the hotel she was staying at. “I’d never hear the bloody end of it.”





“So there should be enough food in the refrigerator for tonight and tomorrow,” Rarity said as she handed Kai a set of keys. “Now darling, I’m trusting you and Twilight to watch the house while help foalsit the Cake’s twins with Pinkie tonight. Don’t let me down.”

“I won’t,” Kai nodded as he pocketed the keys. “Honestly, I doubt we’ll do more than have dinner and talk.”





Rarity suppressed the urge to facehoof. He and Twilight had a golden opportunity and… Oh by the Creator, there was almost no hope for this pair. 

“Just… don’t worry so much darling,” she sighed and turned around. “Take care, Pinkie and I shall be back tomorrow afternoon.” And hopefully something might have progressed in their relationship.





“Alrighty,’ Kai nodded as the mare left, passing Twilight on her way out. The alicorn looked at her and returned the wave she got, before giving Kai a puzzled look.

“Is Rarity going somewhere?”

“Yeah, apparently she’s babysitting,” the human replied as he took off his jacket. “So I guess we got the place to ourselves tonight.”

“Ah…” Twilight nodded as she hung up her bags. “So, what would you like to do then?”

“Hmm…” Kai rubbed his chin. “Well, it’s already getting late. So how about I put dinner on, then I guess we’ll see.” Woe be that he had to wind up in the one world that didn’t have television.

“Do you need some help?” Twilight asked. Kai paused as he remembered a piece of advice that Spike gave him. About never letting Twilight help in the kitchen. Provided you still wanted a kitchen after.

“No, it’s pretty easy to make,” he replied quickly. Twilight seemed satisfied with that answer as she headed upstairs.

“Alright then, I’m going to take a quick shower,” she said as she left the room.

A half hour later. Kai finished his alfredo in cheesy sauce. He licked the spoon and hummed. Total perfection~ 

Seeing as Twilight was still busy, he decided to take things a step further. He poured two glasses of some wine he found in the fridge, and set up a table with some candles and some flowers he got from outside.





When Twilight walked downstairs, she wondered why the lights were switched off. She saw a soft glow coming from the kitchen and frowned. What was going on here? She peered around the corner and gasped.

The candlelit table, the bouquet of flowers… and such a delicious-looking meal. What, was going on here?

“Do you like it?” she heard Kai ask as the human walked up behind her. “That group date was fun, but I thought we could have something a little more private this time.”

“I…” Twilight was rather surprised he’d done all this in such a short time. And… It made her chest feel all warm and fuzzy. Smiling, she walked over to the chair that kai had pulled out for her, taking a seat as he pushed her closer to the table.





As Kai took his seat, he was glad that she seemed pleased by his efforts. He took a seat as he offered her a glass of wine, he mare taking it thankfully. 

“This is really quite sweet,” she smiled. “You didn’t have to…”

“Someone as pretty as you deserves no less,” he smiled as he reached over and took her hoof. “Look Twi? I… know that this hasn’t been easy on you. And that I’ve kinda been dragging my feet a little in this relationship…”

“It’s not your fault,” Twilight said with a shake of her head. “You explained your reasons, and I know that you have a good reason to. I don’t blame you at all.”

“Yeah well…” Kai rubbed his head. His talk with Rarity helped him think quite a bit. Honestly there was a simple solution. Just… don’t think so hard on it. “I like you a lot Twi. So… I wanna try harder for you okay?”





Twilight blushed hard at this, the tips of her ears turning pink as she just nodded and drank deeply from her glass. Was it just her? Or was it really warm in here all of a sudden? While she didn’t think Kai should push himself like that, it was such a sweet gesture and… 

Hooboy, maybe she should eat. Yep, she could use a distraction from that uncomfortable heat in the room. 





Kai blinked as Twilight fanned herself with a hoof, before tucking into her dinner with a ravenous gusto. Well, that was certainly a reaction. And a rather adorable one at that. He just chuckled as he started to eat himself and waited for Twilight finish… whatever it was she was thinking about. 

Once dinner was had, he took the plates to the sink as well as their empty glasses. “That book we read last night was pretty good,” he commented. “Should we take dessert upstairs and continue?”

“I um… sure?” Twilight blinked as he fetched two peice of chocolate pie from the freezer and plated them up. “After you milady,” he bowed, making the alicorn giggled as she headed up to their room.





“I’m a bit sad that we couldn’t bring any books back from your world,” Twilight said as she opened the tale they’d been reading. A somewhat cheesy novel about a knight rescuing a princess trapped in a tower. So she liked some cliche books every now and then. 

“Yeah, well hey,” Kai rubbed her ear. “Once my genius Princess finds a way back, maybe I could go and get some?”

“That would be nice,” she murred at the touch, before squeaking and closing the book quickly, a light blush on her face. 

“Huh?” Kai looked over her shoulder. “What’s up? You stopped reading.”

“I um…” Twilight turned more crimson. Why did Rarity have a book like this!? This was what she got for raiding her personal library. “It’s… much to… much I think.”

“The heck is that supposed to mean?” Kai frowned. “Come on. I wanna see if the knight saved the Princess.”

“Oh… he saved her alright. Yep. Happily ever after. End of story.” Twilight nodded hastily. 





Kai just stared closer at the increasingly sweating mare as her eyes shifted around. She was acting very odd for some reason. So he just leaned closer, staring right into her eyes.

“Okayokayokay,” she squeaked. “It’s… it’s one of those kinds of books okay? It’s… naughty.”

And his frown turned into a look of amusement. Ooh, so that’s what she was so bent out of shape over? This was adorable. In fact… He suddenly had an idea. He just hoped this wouldn’t backfire.

“Oh? Is that all?” he said as his finger started to trace circles on her belly. Her fur was so soft and her skin underneath was warm. “Well I don’t mind if you keep reading it~”





Twilight froze for a second. “I...what...but?” Twilight blushed harder and squeaked. What was he getting at? And… oh his fingers felt nice~ Ahh, pull yourself together Sparkle! What the heck was going on here? Wasn’t he averse to doing something intimate? But…

“Well?” Kai asked. “I don’t mind. It might be… educational.” 

Educational!? Twilight breathed hard at the… implications. And with a shaky aura. She opened to book again…



> Friendshipping
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rarity’s eyes sparkled as she sat across from her human employee, the pair at their usual mid-morning tea break. While she hadn’t said anything yet, she might as well have spoken volumes on the topic that was on her mind.

Kai rolled his eyes and set his teacup down. “A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell Boss. So no, I won’t be spilling about what happened last night.”

Rarity made a sound not unlike a whining puppy as she nibbled on a biscuit. “I am just interested in the affairs of my friends.” She smiled at him and winked. “After all, I need to know if I should start making a wedding dress.”

Kai coughed not so subtly into his own teacup, choking slightly as he levelled a small glare at the unicorn. “Seriously Boss?”

“Mmm, not really,” Rarity tittered. “I update the wedding dress designs of my friends every year.”

“Of course you do… also, I wanna see Twilight’s later,” he commented after a small pause. “Look, not all that much happened really. We read a book together, made out a little… or a lot. We’re taking things slow okay.”

“Aww, that is just so adorable,” Rarity gushed, wiggling in her seat. “Well, if you ever need a night alone, just let me know.”

“Yeah, thanks Rares,” Kai smiled. He glanced at the clock and frowned. “Hey, what time was that shipment from Canterlot arriving?”

“Ten o’clock, why?” Rarity glanced at the clock and gasped. “Fifteen minutes!?”

“‘S cool, I got this,” the human smiled as he stood up. “The cart’s round the side right?”

“Yes, but are you sure?” the unicorn asked him. “I could ask Rainbow to assist.”

“Nah… I got another slave in mind,” Kai hummed with a small smirk.





“So, why the crap am I pulling this thing?” Flash Step muttered as she pulled the empty wagon behind her. “I mean, friendship will only get you so far.”

“Because I’m gonna treat you to an awesome dinner while Twilight visits Princess Celestia in Canterlot,” Kai replied as he walked alongside her. “Also… what’s up? You seem kinda…” He rolled his hand around, trying to find the word. “Bleh.”

“Bleh?” Flash deadpanned. “Really? That’s the best you got?”

“Well, yeah,” Kai admitted. “Come on Steppy. We’re mates right?” He paused and looked down at her. “Did your date not go well?” And at her twitch and lowered ears, he’d figured he hit the nail on the head. “What happened?”

“Oh… I thought the date was going just great,” Flash Step muttered. “At least until her coltfriend showed up.”

“Ooof,” Kai winced and knelt down, putting a hand on her shoulder. “That’s rough. Sorry to hear that.”

“It was my own fault,” she said quietly. “I… should have made my intentions clear. I don’t think she realised it was even supposed to be a date. And I was too excited to actually confirm anything, so I can’t even blame her for it. My own… stupid fault…” She frowned and looked down. “Dammit…” She blinked some tears from her eyes. “Damn…”

Kai put an arm over her, and pulled her close, though the cart’s harness made it a little awkward. “You know what?” he said gently. “It’s her loss then. You’re a pretty amazing wo-er, mare. I mean. You’re a freaking Royal Guard You’re stupid fast, and you were my very first Equestrian friend. Seriously Step. Ponies should be lining up around the block date you.”

The mare remained silent for a moment before wiping her eyes with a hoof. “Oh buck off, since when did you get so sappy?” she giggled, nudging him. “…Thanks Kai. It means a lot to hear that.”

“Mhm,” Kai nodded and nudged her back. “So, it’s easy. Tonight, we hit a bar and try to find another gay little horse for you.”

“Yeah, sounds like a plan,” she snorted. “Also, aren’t we running late while we stand here talking about feelings and crap?”

“Shit!” Kai stood up and dusted himself off. “Let’s go servant, we mustn’t keep Queen Rarity waiting.”

“Servant?” Step raised and eyebrow… and a hoof ready to punish him.

“I’m dating a Princess, that makes me a Prince or some shit,” Kai smirked back. “So I outrank you~”

“Like Tartarus you do,” Steppy replied as she started to trot towards the station. “Ass.”

“You love me,” Kai quipped back.

“Somepony has to,” she retorted.

“Maybe if I was a mare,” he smirked.

“Damn ugly mare,” she replied with a wink. “Come on, we’re just making ourselves later.”

Kai smiled as he followed after the mare, happy he was able to cheer her up a little.  The walk through Ponyville was a hastened one after those delays. Rarity would have their hides if they were too late in returning the order.

“Honestly, why did I agree to help you?” Steppy muttered as they neared the station.

“Because free food is your greatest weakness apparently,” Kai verbally jabbed. Step paused and groaned. Dammit, he was fricken right.

“Just shut up and keep going,” she muttered as she trotted faster, her cheeks having a slight pink hue to them. Stupid human.

“Yes Ma’am,” Kai chuckled as they climbed the stairs to the station. Some large crates were waiting there with Rarity’s address. Seems the train had just dumped them and left.

“Wow, ten outta ten service,” Kai deadpanned. As he started to lift one. Crap this was friggen heavy. And yet Steppy seemed to lift one with ease, the earth pony humming playfully.

“Having trouble?” she cooed as she trotted back to the cart.

“Go eat rotten oats,” he muttered as he struggled to carry one box to the cart. Little magic ponies were a bunch of cheaters. The lot of ‘em. Eventually, he’d managed about three crates, while Steppy had handled the remaining seven without breaking a sweat.

“Righto, let’s get this crap back to Rarity’s and then we can hang out for the rest of the day,” Flash Step said as she hitched herself back up to the cart. Kai sighed and followed, feeling somewhat emasculated now.





“Sooo, what’s the plan anyhow?” Flash asked as they walked. “I mean, I’m all for just wasting time and stuff. But I’ve been all over Ponyville already. And trust me, there is nothing here. Either Sugarcube Corner and try to OD on cupcakes. Or play some seriously dated games at the Arcade. I’m pretty sure I’m the youngest thing when I walk in.”

“Huh, you’d think the Guard would have child labour laws,” Kai quipped, earning him a poke in the ribs from a hoof. “Worth.”

“Hmm, we could always skip over to another town,” she said. “I mean, Canterlot’s closeby, as is Baltimare. And that’s next to the ocean.” Flash Step liked the ocean, the sights and smells. If she hadn’t become a Royal Guard, she likely would’ve joined the Navy instead. Or just gotten her own boat.

“Someone’s a little excited by the ocean,” he chuckled as he saw her ears twitch and her smile widen slightly. “Does it make you wet Steppy?”

Flash Step paused as that clicked and she slowly turned to him. “I wonder how hard I have to hit you to knock you out.”

“We shall never know, as small ponies cannot reach that high,” he smirked as she jumped, taking a swing at his head and missing on purpose, though his wide-eyed look was totally worth  it. Kai on the other hand, was very glad to have his head. Okay… so little ponies could jump high enough to be warranted as fuzzy little facehuggers with big eyes.

“Well, I actually have no flipping idea when Twilight’s gonna be back,” he said as they sat on a park bench. “But, I can’t really go anywhere else. I’ll probably freak ponies out. I mean, Ponyville seems fine with me, but everyone here is insane.”

“True,” Step nodded solemnly.

“Hhm actually,” Kai looked down at his earth pony mate. “Are there any meat-eaters among the species of this world?”

“Well that came of nowhere,” Flash chuckled and nodded. “There’s a few, Griffons, Diamond Dogs and Cat Folk are among them.”

“Okay, next question,” Kai said. “I assume you little herbivores don’t stock a nice selection of beef and ham now do you?”

Flash Step scrunched up her muzzle, turning a little green at that prospect. “Ew, no. I mean… a few restaurants might cater to that. And ‘Le Grandé’ here in town is owned by a griffon…”

“Yeah well, I don’t think I can afford to eat out at a place that sounds expensive,” Kai replied and sighed.

“Wait…” Flash held up a hoof. “You eat meat?”

“Mhm,” Kai hooked a finger in his mouth and showed of his canines. “But don’t worry, I have a strict policy of not eating friends or anything that talks.”

“Well… that’s good to hear,” Flash let out a breath she didn’t realise she was holding. “So, do you have to eat it?”

“Ideally, yeah,” the human replied. “We humans need certain nutrients like iron, protein etcetera…” he folded his arms and tilted his head. “But I have no idea what I’m supposed to do here.”

“And this is where I step in,” Flash chuckled. “Come on, most places will sell supplement tablets you can get. Will they suffice?”

“...I’m gonna miss steak and roast lamb,” he sighed. “Yeah okay. Let’s go.”





“Barnyard bargains?” Kai raised an eyebrow. “These horse puns are going to be the death of me I swear.”

Flash Step either didn’t hear him, or outright ignored him. She just stepped up to the door and held it open as the human shrugged and headed inside. It looked like any other supermarket, a line of cashiers at the front, with rows and rows of things past that.

“This is likely the only place in Ponyville you’ll find that stuff,” Flash said as she walked further in. Kai was still getting a few looks from some of the ponies here, maybe ones that hadn’t seen him already. At the very least, nopony really seemed bothered by it.

Ponies were pretty chill little dudes.

“Hmmm, should try and find the health section I think,” the earth pony mused as she looked around. The rounded a corner to enter an aisle and nearly bumped into another mare. “Oh, sorry about that,” Flash replied and got nothing but a derisive snort in return.

“Humph, watch where you’re going,” Spoiled Rich snorted before her eyes fell on Kai. “You…” 

“Me?” Kai blinked and looked at Flash.

“Him?” she continued with just a faint smirk.

“You… You…” Spoiled took a step closer, physically vibrating with rage. “You told me that was a dress! The, latest fashion!” 

Kai blinked as he recalled what happened. Oooh, it took so much willpower not to laugh out loud.

“You sold me… u-under…” He couldn’t tell if her face was red from embarrassment or fury. Maybe both. “I should sue you and Rarity for everything with the humiliation I suffered.”

Kai looked down at the mare. Oh really now. Well, time to shift the blame. He wasn’t going to let Rarity take the fall for this.

“Well I do apologise. It was one of my first days on the job you see—”

“And that is hardly an excuse! If anything, you should be trying harder you—”

“Not to mention I’m not a pony, I have no idea what you little equines wear.”

“That still does not excuse—”

“Hey!” Flash stepped in front of her. “He apologised and it sounded like a genuine accident.” She narrowed her gaze, the cold stare sending a shiver up even Kai’s spine. “And Rarity seems like a reasonable mare. She might even let you exchange the article. So how about you drop it.”

“And who do you think you are, low class trash,” the mare turned her aggravation to Kai’s friend. Her displeased expression suddenly softened into one of shock as Flash pulled out her blade.

“I’m with the Royal Guard,” she said in a cool, even tone. “And as an ambassador from his home, I am assigned to Kai’s detail as a personal guard.” She took a step closer, Spoiled stepping back to keep the distance between them. “And sueing him. Aside from the fact he hasn’t a Bit to his name, that also sounds an awful lot like a threat.” She tilted her neck until it gave a satisfying crack. “So here’s one for you. Graciously accept his apology and leave the matter be, or I’ll show you the Canterlot dungeons for threatening a Royal Ambassador.”

“A-Are you threatening me?” Spoiled found her voice after a moment.

“I don’t make threats,” Flash snarled, flexing her admittedly impressive muscles.

Spoiled cowed under the display of Earth Pony might. “I… Mistakes are, sometime made. I shall see Rarity later. Don’t let it happen again.” She turned and made a rather hasty exit.

“Okay…” Kai let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “That was pretty damned impressive Steppy. You’re a total badass when you’re not being all adorable and stuff.”

“Psh! I hate her kind,” Flash snorted as she ran a hoof through her mane. “And what was up with that anyway. The heck did you do to her?”

“Eh,” Kai waited until the mare was well and truly out of sight. “She was annoying, but I’m used to that, given I worked retail hell for a few years.” He mimicked his friend, running a hand through his hair. “But when Rarity had her back turned, she said some pretty nasty shit about her choice in dating Pinkie Pie.” He frowned and placed his hands in his pockets. “Pinkie, while weird, is a heap of fun. And Rarity gave me a job, as well as me and Twi a place to live. No way was I gonna let that bitch run her mouth about them. So I sold her a negligee and said it was a dress. She likely wore it to some fancy dinner with a heap of guests.”

Flash Step sighed. “Now look, that was reckless and you almost got Rarity in trouble.”

“Yeah, I know…”

“But,” Flare held up a hoof. “She also sounds like a total mule and had it coming. Next time, be a bit more subtle in your revenge. Or just tell me and I’ll break her Celestia-damned legs.”

“...You scare me little pony,” Kai chuckled and scratched her ears. “Okay, let’s find these pills and get on with our day off.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Steppy nodded and bumped his hip with her flank. “And hey, I’m only scary when I have to be.”

After finding the help of an employee, they found the section that sold the supplement pills, though after reading the label, they were mostly targeted for Griffons. Kai figured he might talk with Twilight first, make sure it was safe for him to take them. So after their purchase, the pair of pals were once again struck with the question of what to do.

“Geeze this town is boring,” Steppy sighed. “I can list a dozen interesting places that we could go in Canterlot… but here, I dunno. A walk in the park or something?”

“Aww, is little Steppy asking me on a date?” Kai chuckled, earning a small blush and a swat from her hoof.

“Ass,” she muttered. “Well, what about you? I don’t hear any suggestions.”

“Yeah, cause I know this place like the back of my hand,” he rolled his eyes. “I only know a half dozen ponies by name, and none of them really have something we could do.” He doubted that Step would want to hang around Rainbow right now. Pinkie and Rarity were likely busy with work and Trixie was best taken in small doses.

“Geeze we’re boring,” Kai muttered as he realised that everything that had happened to him here so far had pretty much come to him. “So what the heck should we do with our day?”

“Well, sure as shit ain’t gonna sit around talking about our feelings like a bunch of mares,” Step snorted. “Didn’t we have plans to hit up a bar and get me a pity date?”

Kai glanced at the clocktower in the distance and frowned. “It’s barely after 12…”

“Four o’clock somewhere,” Step muttered. “Come on.”

“Yeah yeah,” the human sighed and followed his friend. At the very least, this should be interesting.





“So… this was a fantastic idea by the way,” Kai pointed out as the pair sat in a local bar. He sipped his juice as the earth pony downed a shot of something alcoholic. She looked up and glared at him, before looking back down at the bar.

“Oh shut up,” she muttered.

The bar was a small one. Called ‘Moon’s Reflection’. It was located off a side street of the town proper. It had some nice mood lighting from low-hanging candle lanterns. Lots of heavy oak furnishings and cast iron fittings. There was a fireplace against one wall, barren at the moment due to the warmer weather. And another side held a slightly raised stage with a few instruments littered on it. It really did look like something out of Skyrim or something.

So naturally, Kai loved the absolute shit out of it.

They were also the only ones there, sans the barkeep as she sat to one side. The mare had introduced herself when they arrived as Berry Punch, local grape farmer and brewer. She owned this small bar that she ran herself during the off seasons.

“Yeah, this place usually doesn’t pick up until sometime after four,” Berry spoke up. “Cheers for the business by the way.”

Kai snorted in amusement. Well at least someone was happy. He looked back at Steppy as the mare thunked her head on the counter.

“Why can’t I be happy?” she mumbled.

“What?” Kai focused his attention on her. “What do you mean?”

“Why can’t I have somepony?” she said a little louder, her voice cracking slightly. “I mean, you got a freaking Princess and you’re not even a pony!” She slapped the bar lightly with a hoof. “Just because I’m a friggen Guard…”

“What’s being a Guard got to do with it?” Kai said, holding his glass. “Sounds like a pretty respectable job. The pay’s good right? Plus you personally know the Princesses.”

“And I routinely hoof ponies their own flanks,” she muttered and knocked back another shot. “Most ponies, specially mares, are ‘intimidated’ by that.” Her scowl deepened as she sighed. “Nopony likes a mare stronger than them…”

Well that sounded like—

“Total crap,” Berry spoke up and slapped her hoof on the counter. “I dunno what kind of milk drinkers you have up in Canterlot, but here in Ponyville, there isn’t anything wrong with a mare with muscle. Tartarus, I’d date you if i wasn’t straight…” She paused and a small smile crossed her muzzle. “Hmm…” She leaned across the the bar and looked at the human. “Say, do you think she’d mind a little assistance?” she whispered. “Because I know a great mare. Bats for that team, has a great job, loves foals and she good looking to boot.”

“So you’re a barkeeper, farmer and now a matchmaker?” Kai raised an eyebrow.

“A mare of many talents,” Berry nodded. “She’s prolly slightly older. But no more than a few years at best…”

Kai’s eyebrow continued it’s incline.

“Hey, she’s my older sister, and she’s not that old,” Berry said with a frown. “But she’s a bit of an introvert when it comes to dating. Funny seeing as she find at crowd functions. But when it comes to romance she just…”

“Wilts?” the human offered.

“Hah! A good analogy given her butt mark,” Berry chuckled. “So, whatya say. Care for a little…”

“Intervention?” Kai finished and Berry recoiled.

“Eeey, that’s a taboo word around here,” Berry chuckled good natured tone and shook her head. “I was gonna say helping hoof. You look like a fish outta water here and… what did she mean by princess?”

“I have a marefriend, and she’s my princess,” Kai said, well that wasn’t untrue. “And to be honest, yeah. I didn’t date much… or at all back home. So I’m a bit green to this.”

Berry’s ear flicked and she smiled. “Perfect timing as always. Okay hun, sit back and watch a pro at work okay?” She turned around to face the door as a new mare walked in. She was a cute mare with a dark cerise coat, light pink two toned mane and green eyes that… actually looked kind of tired.

“Heya Sis,” Berry waved. “Survive another day with the little Tartarus spawn did you?”

“It was going wonderful, up until Snips wondered how many crayons he could fit in his nose at recess. I had to call Nurse Redheart in case he’d pushed on into his brain.” She sighed and climbed up onto a barstool, flopping over the counter. “One Afterwork Special if you don’t mind.”

“Coming up,” Berry hummed as she made a coffee with a shot of whisky, before putting the drink down in front of her sister. A drink that didn’t last long as the teacher knocked it back like Steppy had been with her shots.

“Pwah!” Cheerilee placed the cup down with some force, somehow not breaking it. “That hits the spot. Thanks sis.”

“No problem, buuuut,” the mare mused.

Cheerilee sighed and rolled her eyes. “Alright, fine. What do you want. And it’s it to cheat Pinchy through the system again. You know I can’t play favourites with family…”

“Nah,” Berry waved a hoof. “Pinchy’s a smart kid, she’ll be right. No, this is aaaaall for you.”

Cheerilee sighed and propped her head up with her hoof, resting her elbow on the bar. “Alright Berry, who are you trying to set me up with?” She turned her head and her gaze met Kai’s. Their green eyes looking into each other.

Kai shook his head. “Not me, happily taken already I might add.”

“Round here,” Berry said and Cheerilee sighed, deciding to humour her sister as she trotted around to the corner of the bar and spied the mopey guardsmare. “Cheery, this here is Flash Step, she’s a Royal Guard you know. From what I hear, she’s currently assigned as Princess Twilight’s personal Guard.”

She leaned in close. “She also got rejected pretty hard by a certain Miss Dash.”

“Ah…” Cheerilee made a small ‘o’ shape with her mouth as she took a seat “Hello?” she spoke up as Flash turned her head to look at the mare.

“And you are?” she said dryly, earning a facepalm from Kai.

“A pony who’s clearly had an almost as rough a day as you,” Cheerilee chuckled as she waved at Berry, the mare going to fetch two more Coffee shots.

“I highly doubt it compares to the colossal failure I am,” Step said with a click of her tongue.

“I have to make sure each generation of foals grow up safe and prosperous,” Cheerilee said. “It’s honestly a stressful job, one that consumes a lot of my personal time. I’ve focused so much on it that I’m… well a bit past my prime.”

“Pssh!” Berry snorted. “She says that, but you should have seen her in that cheerleader’s outfit at the last Derby. I reckon half the stallions and mares in Ponyville were ‘standing at attention’ for that flank.”

“BERRY!” Cheerilee blushed and took a half-hearted swing at her. Though the comment did get a small chuckle from the guardsmare.

“My ridiculous and perverted sister aside,” Cheerilee scoffed. “What’s it like being in the Guard? We’re only a small town, so I haven’t seen them all that often.”

Steppy looked at the coffee that Berry set down in front of her. “I guess it depends on where you’re situated in the guard. Sometimes you’re guarding an empty hallway for twelve straight hours. Sometimes you’re on the border, fighting off griffon mercs, harpy pirates and monsters…” She looked up. “A good deal more exciting than a school teacher I’d wager.”

“Perhaps, but you forget,” Cheerilee smirked, unperturbed by the comment. “This is Ponyville. The single weirdest and likely most dangerous town in Equestria. In a few short years, we’ve seen countless monsters from the Everfree, Nightmare Moon, Discord and Twilight Sparkle.”

Steppy raised an eyebrow at the last one.

“You should have seen her more… formative years,” Cheerilee giggled. “We even have a disaster relief fund named after her.”

“Seriously?” Kai deadpanned. What kind of crazy mare was he dating?

“Oh yes, she nearly destroyed the town over a late report to the princess, actually did destroy the town when she enchanted Parasprites, caused an avalanche and fought off a bear the size of several houses.”

Steppy and Kai just blinked. This… This town was bloody crazy!

“Moving on,” Cheerilee sighed. “What kinds of things do you like doing? Aside from Guards work that is.”

“This and that,” Step replied and sipped her drink. She hadn’t planned to answer beyond that until Kai cleared his throat. She rolled her eyes and set the cup back down. “I don’t have that many hobbies persay. I like a good run in the morning though. Hanging out with my friends and the occasional book.”

“Oh? You like reading?” Cheerilee perked up. “May I ask what kinds of books?”

“I… don’t know,” Steppy replied as she looked down at her drink. “Whatever strikes me at the time I suppose. Training manuals. Self-help books, the occasional novel.”

“Surely you have to have a favourite,” Cheerilee prodded verbally.

“Well…” Flash Step said and smiled. “I kinda like the ‘Flame Artefact’ series. Though the last few have focused more on romance than the conflict and war they usually depict.”

“I’ve noticed that too,” Cheerilee said. “And that last one having three different variants. It was interesting seeing things from both sides of the war, then a third depicting the ‘true’ story so to speak…”

“Yeah, it felt a bit unnecessary,” Flash agreed and sipped her coffee. “Though I hear her next one will be a rewrite of one of her older books.”

“Hmm, well I guess we’ll see,” Cheerilee smiled. She leaned against a hoof she placed on the counter. “So, tell me about guard life.”

“Well, let’s see,” Flash Step said and sat back on her stool. “I graduated from Westhoof Academy when I was nineteen, and thanks to a recommendation, I was sent straight up to Royal Guard, 42nd Battalion, also known as the Princesses Hoofguard.” She lifted her teacup and sipped the coffee again. “It’s mostly just guarding the Royal Palace, as well as events within the palace.”

“Sounds important though,” Cheerilee said. “I’ll admit, I have no idea who the Guard is even structured.”

Flash turned and chuckled. “Well, you don’t seem like a spy, or an enemy of the state, so I guess I can say a few things.”

“Well I am honoured you trust me,” Cheerilee giggled back.

“Well, you have the standard Guard,” Step explained. “I guess you could call them police with Royal authority. They tend to have a similar position. Patrolling the town they’re stationed in. Protection against threats. And while they can make arrest and detain. They can’t convict. That jurisdiction goes to either the Police, military police or something like that. Usually you’ll find them working with either of them.”

“So there’s more than just ‘Royal Guard’?” Kai asked, kind of interested in this conversation.

“Mhm,” Step nodded. “Next you have the Battle Guard and Long Patrol. They make up the brunt of our military force. You’ll find them posted mostly in various strategic locations, like the bases at the border of the Griffon Empire and Dragon lands. After that, you have the Royal Guard. We’re responsible for the safety of the Princesses, Celestia, Luna and of course, Twilight. We guard the Royal Palace and I guess, wherever Twilight may be living here in Ponyville.”

“So that’s why you’re here?” Cheerilee said as Step paused to take another drink.

“Yeah, though this place is quiet, at least in regards to possible threats to the Princess,” Flash Step replied with a shrug. “Technically, I’m here to guard Princess Twilight and Kai, as an unofficial ambassador of his kind. In reality, it feels more like paid leave.” She tapped her chin. “That aside, you have the various specialized divisions. Like the Elite Guard, Specialists and Storm Brigade.”

“Okay, what are those?” Kai asked, setting down his own glass. Even Berry was listening in now.

“Elite are… kind like the badasses of the Guard. They guard the high risk areas like the Princess's personal chambers, Royal Treasury and so on. The Storm Brigade are a group of pegasi specifically trained in the art of weather warfare. It’s one reason other species don’t pick a fight with us ponies. Sure, we may be physically weaker than a Griffon, a Minotaur or a dragon. But even they can’t compete when we can drop literal forces of nature on their heads.”

Kai shuddered at that. Imagine going up against cute little ponies, only for them to drop a Cat5 tornado on you. Eesh.

“And Specialists…” Flash smiled. “That’s my end goal. To join them… unfortunately it’s something of a Dead Pony’s Shoes. They always have seven members, no more, no less. The only way in, is if somepony else leaves. They however, are the Last Resort. Ponies so stupidly strong, that if no other means exist, they’re called in to end things. One way or another. I hear just one is enough to subdue an entire battalion. All seven? They could probably topple a nation.”

Kai and Berry whistled slowly at that impressive claim. That actually sounded really damned cool.

“Well, that certainly does sound impressive,” Cheerilee said. “Much more so than my life as a school teacher.”

“Please, I’d rather charge headlong into battle than deal with a class full of foals,” Step laughed. “Kids can be brutal when they wanna be. Seriously Miss Cheerilee, you got my respect.”

“Oh, well…” the earth pony mare blushed. “And please, my students call me Miss. Just Cheerilee will be fine for you Miss Step.”

“Same here,” Steppy said. “Just use my name.”

“Or Steppy, cause it’s cute,” Kai pointed out, getting a glare from the mare in question. “What? All you ponies are cute. Seriously.”

“Well, he is correct,” Cheerilee giggled. “You are very cute Miss Flash.”

“I…” Flash blushed and looked away. “Dammit Kai. See what you made her do.”

“I take no responsibility for Miss Cheerilee recognising that you’re adorable,” Kai shrugged and stood up. “Well, on that note. I’ll leave you kids alone. I have a mare to go and meet at the train station.”

Flash Step went to stand up too. “Oh, I should—”

“Nope,” Kai pushed her back down onto the seat. “As your ‘technically’ Boss. I am giving you the night off to spend with the lovely teacher mare here.” He winked at Cheerilee, making her pink in the cheeks. “So have fun, and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“But—”

“No buts,” Kai said and booped her nose with an index finger, making Steppy’s muzzle scrunch up cutely. “Enjoy.” And with that, he pet her head and strode from the bar, leaving the trio of earth mares to their own devices.

“So…” Berry mused and looked at Flash. “Since he didn’t pay, I guess you’re covering his drinks?”

Flash blinked as Cheerilee put a hoof to her mouth and giggled. “That sonova—!”
> The next step
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kai yawned as he reached over and turned the light off next to the bed. Twilight still hadn’t returned from Canterlot, so he just sort of… milled about Rarity’s place. Sure, the job provided ample distraction, but he was still a bit unsure to wander around on his own. Every time he’d gone out, he’d always had somepony with him.

With a sigh, he pulled the blanket up further. The nights here had started getting cooler. Apparently winter was going to be set up soon. He still thought that was odd, that they actually controlled the weather so precisely. A part of him thought that was a disaster waiting to happen. He glanced at a clock, frowning as he saw it was already 1am. 

“Great, now I’m losing sleep too,” he muttered. He didn’t know why either. Sure, he tended to get bouts of insomnia when he was stressed or nervous, but… he wasn’t stressed here. So, what was causing it?

He suddenly yelped as a bright light filled the room like a massive camera flash. He could smell burned ozone and then the air evacuated his lungs as something heavy landed on his chest.

“Ohmigosh, sorry…” came the hushed, yet familiar tone. He opened his eyes, blinking away the spots and tears of pain before looking into a pair of familiar purple orbs. 

“T-Twilight?” he asked, coughing lightly. 

“Sorry, didn’t think you’d be in here,” she whispered. “Though… I kinda hoped. Ah, sorry for landing on you though. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just… wasn’t expecting you to literally drop out of thin air,” he mused, rubbing her head. “What are you doing here.”

“Well um…” Twilight blushed a little and giggled. “I guess I was a little impatient to get home. Spike is still coming home tomorrow, er well… later today I guess, on the train but…” She leaned against him, nuzzling his cheek. “I missed having you around.”

Then he realised what was causing his discomfort, that he realised he missed her too. Was that why he’d been losing sleep lately? He put an arm around her, stroking her back gently. “Yeah, missed you too,” he smiled. “Still, you couldn’t wait a few more hours… or you know, use the door?”

“It’s like… ridiculously late, I didn’t want to wake Rarity or Pinkie,” she said. “And well, I guess I was a little impatient.” She sighed contently as she rolled over to lay next to him. “At least I have some answers… as awkward as it was.” 

“Oh?” Kai mused, keeping up his petting of her. He was finding it very soothing.

“Mhm, Princess Celestia must have apologised a thousand times about the confusion about the library,” the small alicorn said. “Between getting me back, you suddenly appearing and all that, it was just a detail that was… lost along the way. She apologised for hours.” She sighed contently as she closed her eyes. “It’s not like I was mad or anything. I was away from here for nearly a year, so I expected somepony to take over as librarian. The princess has offered to help find a new residence for us though. I don’t want to be a burden on Rarity and Pinkie forever.”

“I get the feeling Pinkie would disagree,” Kai mused as he ran his fingers through her mane. It was so soft, though her scalp was a little sweaty. Probably from the exertion of teleporting so far. “So, how’d everything else go?”

“Well it was interesting enough,” Twilight said. “Shining and Cadence returned to the Crystal Empire. They want us to visit them sometime. Oh, and Princess Celestia and Luna send their regards as well.” She leaned against him, closing her eyes. “So how about you? Get up to much?”

“Hmm, this and that,” he said with a small smirk, getting an annoyed snort from her. “Well, I think I helped Flash Step find a special someone?”

“Oh?” Twilight said and giggled. “Stealing Cadence’s job now?”

“Maybe it’s my true calling, helping little ponies find romance and stuff,” Kai mused as he ran his fingers through her mane. “Hey Twi?”

“Mm?” she murmured, her eyes closed as she enjoyed his gentle ministrations. 

“You wanna go out on a date tomorrow… today, just the two of us this time?” her human asked. 

“That sounds nice,” she smiled and angled her head up. She felt… warm, as their lips connected, the alicorn letting out a small sigh as they held the kiss for a moment before separating slightly. She licked her lips and looked at him, lightly chewing her lower lip. “H-Hey… Kai?”

“Mm?” he replied, booping her nose and smiling as she scrunched it up. 

“Could um…” she started to blush, well… she thought she was. Her face felt like it was burning. “Could we…?” She couldn’t get the rest out. This was, kind of embarrassing. The books she read made it sound so… natural.

“I’ve been thinking,” Kai suddenly said, snapping her out of her little mental dilemma. “I know I’ve been… skating around this relationship. Dating a pony has… well, I guess it’s taken a little time to get used to.”

“I know, and I don’t blame you for it. Really,” Twilight said, before he put a finger to her lips.

“I know, but it hasn’t been fair on you,” he replied softly. “So, starting now, I’ll try and be better oka-mmpf!?” Kai’s words were cut off as the alicorn kissed him, one far from the chaste, sweet ones they’d shared a scant few times already. This one was far more passionate and… almost hungry.

And the human soon returned it, after getting over the initial shock as their tongues fought for dominance. The pair moaning softly into each other's mouths. Twilight rolled over, getting the human to pin her under him, the act making her heart race as her tail swished back and forth. 

She was surprisingly strong despite the size difference. Kai let out a small breath as the sudden position change, though he was loathe to break the electrically charged kiss with the small equine.

Though eventually, Kai soon broke the kiss. His cheeks flushed as he panted, refilling his lungs as he stared down at the mare under him. “Wow…” he murmured.

“Wow indeed,” she shared the sentiment as she put a hoof to his chest. Okay Twi. You could do this! “D-Do you… want to keep g-going?” she asked, her blush showing clear through her fur as she stuttered out the question.

“Keep…?” His eyes widened, his own cheeks heating up as he came to a particular conclusion. “Twilight,” he said as he rubbed one of her ears gently, his thumb and forefinger running along the fuzzy edge. “Are you saying we could… well…” He just couldn't bring himself to find the words.

“Mhm…” she squeaked and nodded, even as her horn glowed softly, teasing the edge of his shirt. “O-Only if you want to though…”

“Oh,” he simply said. Well… okay then.





Rarity hummed a small tune as she tended to the stovetop, whipping up an omelette and some rich Saddle Arabian coffee to go with it. Her ear flicked as she heard the door open and turned to greet the other occupant of the house. “Oh, good morning Kai. How did… you…” She blinked and rubbed her eyes with a hoof as she saw the more equine of her houseguests. “Twilight?”

The purple alicorn practically floated into the room, her tail swaying and her wings flicking as she smiled and dipped her head to greet her friend. “Morning Rarity~” she practically sang as she spun the surprised unicorn in an impromptu dance, leaving the alabaster mare quite flustered.

“I uh…” Rarity shook her head to regain some composure. That was certainly… rather ‘Un-Twilight like’. “Twilight dear. When did you get in?”

“Oh, early this morning,” she hummed as she took a seat at the table. “I teleported in so as not to wake you and Pinkie.”

“I… see,” Rarity blinked. With that question out of the way, she moved to the next. Namely, what had put her friend into such a great mood. In fact, she was positively glowing right now.

Wait a minute.

“Twilight?” Rarity asked, her confused expression turning into a coy smile. “Did you… happen to wake a certain human last night instead?”

“Maaaybe,” Twilight giggled as her magic morphed some napkins to a pony and human origami, making them dance with one another. 

“And perchance,” the unicorn continued. “Did the two of you make some… progressions in your relationship last night?” 

Twilight’s fun paused as she looked at Rarity with surprising seriousness. “Rarity, a lady does not kiss and tell.”

The unicorn mare giggled into her hoof as she returned to her cooking. “No, I suppose one does not,” she smiled, immensely happy for the both of them.





“So…” Flash Step drawled as she reclined on the couch, talking with her human friend as he watched the store for Rarity. Apparently she had an ‘urgent appointment’ with Twilight and had dragged his marefriend off without another word. “You finally got some alicorn booty huh?”

“A gentleman does not kiss and tell,” he huffed as he hung a dress on one of the racks. 

“Yeah right,” Flash snorted as she sipped her tea. 

“Well, what about you and that little mare I left you with at the bar?”

“Cheerilee?” Flash asked. “Thanks for bailing by the way. You owe me thirty bits. Also, yeah… we hit it off. She talked a bunch about her work. I talked a bunch about mine. Apparently high stress jobs makes a pony want to unwind. Namely in her room… and her living room, and her bathroom, and her—”

“Yeah yeah I get it you little pony pervert,” Kai sighed and shook his head. “Well, I guess me and Twi took a… certain step.”

“Aaaaand?” Flash mused, grining widely as she leaned over the back of the couch. Her tail wagging back and forth as she giggled. “I want details!”

“And you’re not getting them,” Kai retorted as he hung a few more dresses. “Honestly…” He stepped back and admired his work for a moment. “Apparently Twi and I are getting our own place too. So that’ll be something.”

“Yeah, I’ve already been briefed on that,” Flash Step nodded. “For now, I’m still assigned as yours and her personal guard. I mean, it’s a pretty sweet gig. Nopony’s been a Princess’s personal guard as young as me. So that’s awesome.” 

“Moving on up in the world huh?” Kai chuckled as he straightened a dress that was out a little. “Okay, that’s done so…” he looked around at the empty store. “Guess it’s a tad quiet around here today.” 

“It’s Ponyville, quiet is the default for this place,” Flash sighed. “I mean, would it hurt to have something to do around here?” she said and flopped back onto the couch. “I’m booooored.”

“Well, that sounds like a personal problem,” Kai chuckled as he tried to recall what else he had to do. “Maybe something will find you? He said and snapped his fingers. “That’s right! I have to--” before they heard a loud scream coming from outside. Kai turned and levelled a stare at Flash Step.

“What? Don’t look at me,” she said as she got up. “We both taunted the universe this time.”

“Pony land needs a more ignorant god like the one back home,” the retorted as they headed outside.

…

Well… okay… that was a thing that was happening.

“What the hell is that?” Kai asked as they stared at the frankenstein creation. It was a large golem of sorts, around ten feet tall and made of everything; up to and including a kitchen sink. It was like a pile of junk came to life and now rampaged across town. 

And did it have scooters for feet?

“What the fuck?” Kai blinked.

“I honestly have no idea,” Flash deadpanned as she watched it stomp around. “But I have to stop it before it hurts somepony.”

“Um… how?” Kai asked with a raised eyebrow. “I mean, it’s a giant garbage golem on rollerskates!” 

Flash Step darted forwards, blindingly fast as she jumped into the air and spun, kicking it right in the head with a powerful blow, enough to make it stumble back. 

“By hitting it really hard!” she answered.

The golem looked… less than pleased with that answer. And more so at the fact the little mare had kicked it in the face.  It let out a sound that could be constituted as a growl before it reached over to the kitchen sink that made up a good portion of it’s torso and…

Okay, seeing something pull a part of itself off of itself was disturbing.  Even more so when Kai had a wild thought about what it would do with that.  He had a nasty premonition of the sink hitting Flash in the head as the golem started to take aim at her.

“Flash MOVE!” he yelled as the golem flung the ceramic object, the earth pony sliding under it and then digging her forehoof into the ground, lifting her hindlegs as she pirouetted and lashed out with a buck strong enough to snap trees, aiming for the golem’s left leg. With a loud bang, her kick scattered the junk that comprised it’s leg, sending it scattering along the ground.

The golem made a sound like a snort as it pulled some nearby junk over and pressed it to the part where it’s leg had been.  The pony and human stared in shock as it started to move around, twisting, until the golem had a new leg comprising of an old sewing machine, a garbage can lid, and a twisted golf club.

“That’s cheating!” Flash yelled and looked back at Kai. “You need to get out of here. Let me deal with this!”

“I’m not gonna let you get squashed by this overgrown garbage tip,” he said back as he looked around for a weapon. He’d played Dark Souls, he had this… 

“Idiot,” the mare sighed as she looked for another opening. “This kind of golem must have a magical core somewhere. If it was able to regenerate like that.” She simplified it. “Kinda like a big magical magnet.”

“Yeah, understood the first one,” Kai said as he pulled up a loose picket fence pailing.

The golem let out something akin to a roar as it lumbered towards another collection of junk. Some broken cart parts next to a store. Apparently it was more interested in growing larger than fighting her, if given a choice. Okay then, she could probably stall it by smashing it up. “Dammit, if we had a mage, they could just hit the thing with a null field!” she shouted.

Then Kai got an idea. “Stall it!” he said as he ran back to the boutique. Flash blinked, but nodded as she jumped up and kicked its head again.  The golem growled again and ripped off the mixer from its shoulders, using it as an impromptu club to try and smash her with.

“Ohh so slow~” she teased as she ran between its legs and kicked it in the back. “Well, I guess your creator wasn’t too good.” She turned and prepared to buck it’s other leg off… 

Only to squeak as the golem spun at the waist and actually caught her, holding her up to its face.

“Umm… parley?” she said with a nervous smile. Shit, this was bad. 

Wait, no, it was worse.  It was squeezing. She let out a small squeak as she tried to push back with her trapped limbs. This… this was going to be a really sucky way to die… Dammit… things were finally going good for her. And now a simple fuck up was going to get her killed.

“Hey asshole!” Kai called out as he held a pile of random stuff. “Eat up!” and then he tossed the stuff into the air. 

The golem turned to track the junk, letting go of Flash as it tried to get to the trash fast enough.  Apparently it was mesmerized by the stuff. Flash Step hit the ground, rollling a few times as she coughed and wheezed. And as the golem started to collect the junk… 

Why was Kai smiling?

“Thanks for the save but…” Flash coughed. “That thing’s gonna get bigger…” 

“Magic holds it together right?” Kai asked.

“Uh… yeah?”

“Well, good thing I tossed that magical Null Ring into the pile.”

….Waitwhat?

The golem let out something like a burp as it sat there for a moment...before falling apart, piece by piece.  Sitting on top of the pile was a crystal blue ball, the spark of magic in it fading now that the null ring had touched it.

“Huh… that, was actually kind of genius,” Step said as she walked up to the ball, lifting her hoof and shattering it under her powerful blow. “But, where’d you get that from. How’d you know what it was?”

“Oh, Twilight had it last night. She wore it just in case her magic lashed out by accident when we…” he blushed and paused. “A-Anyway! I think that problem is dealt with now.”

“Pfft,” Flash giggled as she looked at the pile of junk. “I wonder who made this thing though…” 

They heard a shout as the pair turned to see three fillies running towards their location. And they were arguing from the sounds of it.

“Ah told ya it was a plumb fool idea!” 

“What? It was your idea to use all that junk to make it.”

“....I thought it was pretty cool.”

The other two paused to look at the little orange pegasus and shook their heads. “Well,” the white unicorn said. “It was working fine up until it suddenly took off like that. We need to find it before it…” 

“Huh? Why’d ya stop Sweetie?” the earth pony with the bow said and followed her gaze to the pile of junk in the middle of the street. “Whoa…” 

“What happened?” the pegasus blinked before they saw Kai and Flash Step standing there. “Ohh… we’re in trouble…” 

“You’re damned right you are!” Flash yelled as she started stomping towards them. “That damned thing nearly killed me. And it would have if Kai hadn’t been quick on his hooves.”

“Feet,” Kai corrected.

“Semantics!” Flash yelled back, the human raising his hands in surrender as she turned her wrath back to the three fillies. “If you were my kids, I’d beat your flanks so hard they’d glow brighter than the sun. Lucky for you, you aren’t…” And before the trio could be let off the hook completely. “That’s why you lot are going to clean up all of this mess and apologise to everyone here.”

“But—”

“I’m a royal guard kiddo,” she leaned in closer to Scootaloo, making the filly gulp down the lump in her throat. “And you better believe your little feathered butt that all of your parents will be hearing about this.” 

“Y-Yes ma’am!” they squeaked out. 

“Good,” Flash said, standing back up. Now came the hard part… 

Explaining this to the princess.





“You WHAT!?” Twilight yelled, Flash Step wincing under the force that last word emanated. “I… but…” Twilight spluttered, before her anger died almost instantly as Kai pet her head. 

“Deep breaths,” Kai said. “No-one got hurt, well, aside from a few bruised ribs on Flashy here.” 

“Say what you will… those kids made a hell of a golem,” she said, white bandages now adorning her barrel. That earth pony nurse was cute too. “I’d shudder to think if they used their powers for evil.”

“Equestria would be doomed in a week,” Pinkie, Twilight and Rarity said in unison.

“...that was creepy,” Flash shuddered. “So, where’d you ladies go anyway? Bet your day wasn’t as exciting as ours.”

“No, I’d wager not,” Rarity sighed and chuckled. “We were actually catching up with everyone, renewing the ‘bonds of friendship’ as it were.”

“We had a picnic in the Whitetail Woods,” Pinkie smiled. “Sorry we didn’t invite you two, but we wanted it to be just us six girls.”

“Hey, it’s cool,” Kai smiled as he continued to pet his alicorn. “I’m glad you’re patching your friendships up Twi.”

“Yes, I am too,” she smiled and nuzzled his palm. "And Flash Step? Thank you for keeping everypony safe.”

“Just doing my job your Highness,” she saluted. “Now if you’ll excuse me, my shift is up and I have a sexy school teacher to get some pampering from~” 

“Yeah yeah,” Kai waved his friend off. “Hey, speaking of…” 

“Ohh, you wanna know sexy details~” 

“No,” he sighed. “I mean about your shift. What happens if someone tried anything during the night?”

“Oh,” Flash smiled. “Then they’d have to deal with your night guard.”

“We have a night guard?” Twi and Kai echoed.

“...Seriously, still creepy,” Flash sighed. “And yeah you do. You have since you guys got here.”

“But, we’ve never seen them,” Twilight said. 

“She wouldn’t be very good at her job otherwise,” Flash said as she bowed her head. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a date~” And with another salute, she left the Boutique.

“So, has anypony seen this Night Guard?” Kai asked, getting a shake of the head before Rarity and Twilight looked at Pinkie.

“Really dear, even you?” Rarity asked her pink marefriend. “I’d have thought your Pinkie Sense could feel them out.”

“Yeah...new pony, but I can’t find them,’ she said, sniffing around like a bloodhound. “Hmmmmm….” 

“She’ll… be at that for a while I’d wager,” Rarity sighed. “Oh, how did business go today Kai?”

“Not too bad actually,” the human said, taking out a notepad. “You have a custom order for a one Lily Valley. And the shipment of Saddle Arabian Silk should show up by the weeks end.”

“Ohh, I can’t wait,” Rarity titted and smiled at the thought or working with that silk. “What are you two planning for tonight?”

“We talked about that last night actually,” Kai said. “Still wanna go out on a date Twi?” 

“Oh… um, mhm,” she blushed cutely and nodded. “What would you like to do?”

Then they jumped as Rarity giggled and smiled widely. “Leave that to me darlings~”





“You know, this was actually a pretty good idea,” Twilight smiled as she felt Kai’s fingers wrap around her hoof. The pair were sitting at the local swimming hole. However, right now the water as as still as glass, reflecting the brilliant night sky above.

A veritable star ocean spread out above their heads. Kai still couldn't believe that it was all the work of Princess Luna. Magic was weird.

“Mhm, glad I thought of it,” the human mused as Twilight poked his side with a wing. Kai flinched and chuckled. “Hahah, okay okay. I'll thank Rarity tomorrow.”

“Good colt,” Twilight smiled as she leaned against his shoulder. “This isn't bad really. Just the two of us.”

“Mhm,” he agreed as he put an arm around her. He really did feel comfortable around her, just her presence was enough to keep him at ease.

“So, I heard about the incident,” Twilight said to him, making him stiffen slightly. The tone of voice she used wasn’t giving anything away about her mood. Though if Kai had to make an educated guess?

She was mad.

“Well to be fair,” he said. “It wasn’t like Steppy or I were expecting a giant golem made of garbage to suddenly show up.”

“No, but you could have left it to Flash Step,” Twilight said sternly. “She’s your guard for a reason Kai.”

“She also would have been killed!” Kai snapped back, a little harsher than he meant to. “She’s my friend Twilight. I wasn’t gonna run like some coward.”

Twilight exhaled, her ears turned back as she looked at him. “You have no idea how scared I was when I found out,” she said, leaning her head against him. “But, you also saved somepony from being seriously hurt. And… that made me really happy. I feel very conflicted.”

“I promise, I won’t fight any more monsters that pop up… cause that was hella scary,” he chuckled as he pet her mane. His fingers running through her silky hair, scratching her scalp gently as she gave a pleased hum. 

“So, did you get pestered too?” she asked, her cheeks a little pink. 

“Mhm,” Kai chuckled. “That pervy lil guard wanted details.”

“You didn’t…”

“Every last one,” he smirked. “Especially that thing you did with your—”

Twilight’s ears shot up and turned to look at him. “KAI!”

“Kidding, kidding,” he chuckled, raising his hands in surrender as she smacked his ribs with a hoof. “Ooow.”

“You deserve that,” the alicorn huffed and blushed hard. “Honestly… that was mean.” 

“I suppose,” the human chuckled and pat her mane again as she settled down in his lap. “But you feel a bit better no?” 

Well… damn. “Well played,” she muttered. “Now scratch my ears as punishment.” 

“Oh no, such a dire punishment indeed,” he sighed as he rubbed her ears. “So, what’s next for us huh?”

“I don’t know,” the alicorn sighed. “I already mentioned our possibility of getting a place yeah?”

“Mhm, something about the sun pony feeling bad about getting rid of your old house yadda yadda.” 

“And I said I expected that already,” Twilight said, booping his nose with a hoof. “They couldn’t keep the library closed because I moved away. But I do want to finish the portal to your home. I made a promise after all.”

Kai fell silent for a second and then picked her up, sitting the pony in his lap, her feathery back against his chest as he put his arms around her. “About that actually,” he said to her. 

“Oh…? Oh no Trixie didn’t break something did she!?”

“What? No! At least… i don’t think so,” Kai said. “No, I was um… wondering something.” 

“Oh?” The alicorn leaned her head back to look up at him. Okay… that was damned cute.

“I was wondering… if that I could stay here with you?” he asked, sounding slightly hesitant. He wasn’t sure how the alicorn would react honestly. “I mean, that is if you wa-oof!” he fell back as the mare pounced, kissing him deeply as she lay on his chest. A kiss that he eagerly returned as he put his arms around her. The pair of lovers remained that way for a while, or at least until they needed to breathe again as the embrace broke. 

“W-Well,” he panted. “I uh… take it that’s a ‘I don’t mind’?” 

“Yes,” Twilight giggled and nuzzled his neck. “Of course I don’t mind. I’d love it if you did but…” 

“But?” the human asked. 

“But are you sure? I mean, your job and…”

He cut her off with a boop to the nose. “Honestly, I’m happier than I have been in a long time. I have real friends here Twi. I don’t wake up, wishing for the day to be over as soon as I do. I have a beautiful girl that I love and…” he paused as that left his lips, Twilight’s eyes widening.

“You… you said…” she stammered, blushing cutely. 

“Yeah,” he murmured and leaned in close, nuzzling her. “And I mean it too. I love you, Twilight Sparkle.” 

“Oh Kai,” she smiled, sniffing slightly as her eyes glistened. “I love you too.” She giggled and kissed his cheek. “I’m still going to finish that portal. At the very least, we can use it to get your stuff. And well… an unfinished project would drive me nuts.” 

“So, this is more about your OCD huh?” he mused, getting a small frown and a giggle in response. The pair snuggled close, turning to lay down properly and look up at the stars again.





In a tree not too far away, a chocolate-hued batpony mare watched them closely. Her emerald eyes shining in the low light. She’d been here the whole time, her ears flicking at the slightest sounds, her eyes taking in every last detail. 

“Well, isn’t that just adorable?” she mused to herself. While she’d taken the Princess’s request to watch the pair during the nights… well, except for a brief lull last night, they’d likely have preferred their privacy and the mare was no voyeur… unless they wanted her too~

She’d almost stepped in earlier though. That golem’s arrival had been… oddly convenient. And some investigation showed traces of Chaos magic. Mind you, getting ahold of Discord to question was almost impossible unless you had the Element’s summoning spell. Still… it wasn’t his MO. No, something else was at play here. 

“The question is what?” she hummed as she turned her gaze away from the pair. Seems things were getting a little more intimate. Honestly… She reached up with a hoof and snapped a twig, causing them to flinch and look up. Not long later, they were headed back to the Boutique.

She melted into the shadows, sticking to them as she followed thepair back. She’d give them a break once they were home safe and sound, then see if she could get ahold of the chaotic spirit. 

“At least this is the only problem for now,” she muttered. 





The unicorn trembled and slumped… drained of all power and strength as the wiry centaur gave a rasping chuckle, his near skeletal form increasing in size and mass ever so slightly. Oh how he’d missed this… this sensation of power… of magic! 

“Soon my little ponies,” he chuckled as he turned, his cloak flowing in the cool night air. “Your one true lord will take back what’s his~”