Trapped
Cold. Empty. Alone. Her thoughts were always the same of that dreaded place. There was no life, no laughter, only a gray horizon meeting with an endless void of black. She cursed herself every time she was forced to relive her time in exile, but even Luna had to sleep. As Princess of the Night , her task was to visit the dreams of other ponies and see if they were conflicted. It was her duty to help her subjects however she could. Rarely she would encounter dreams needing her attention. For the most part, she found that the citizens of Equestria were as happy in their dreams as they were in real life. They were a source of peace, of fantasy, a joyful few hours. Her dreams were no such thing.
An irony, she thought, that she would come back to her nightmares of a dead and bleak place during the daytime. A time of light, of warmth, of living. A time where the dreams of her subjects where being realized. A time she once tried to eradicate forever because of… why? She struggled to remember why she wished harm to the source of that time she once hatred. Her sister, whom she would do anything for, whom she loved with all her heart, she hated because of who she was, of what she represented. Even after her time imprisoned in her moon, even after being forgiven for her past transgressions by her own sister and her subjects… their subjects, she still felt guilty and ashamed.
This would be the 300th time she would feel this way again. She kept tally of when she went to sleep, along with how intense each session was for her. From what she could tell, it was steadily getting better, though not as much as she would have liked it. Knowing her sister would be concerned for her well being, she was determined to avoid putting worry on her and deal with it herself. She knew she was stronger than relying on others, and she was not going to make her problems anyone elses. Determined to face the nightmare, she did once final fly around Ponyville, and returned to Cantorlot.
The castle was immense, with spires and towers clustered together and forming a small city for the population. When she came back home, there was celebration in the streets for the return of their Princess. Her heart was touched in a way she never felt before, filled with happiness and a feeling of belonging. With her sister by her side, she felt at home. Now, her same home was feeling like a prison. Flying into her bedroom just as the sun would rise above the mountains, she laid on her bed wearied eyed, in a state between awake and sleep. Numb to everything, she just was, oblivious to her surroundings until sleep finally overcame her.
She woke up staring into a black sky, devoid of her stars she loved. Before her anger and jealousy overcame her, as a child she would gaze into the night sky, filled with wonder and amazement. She had no power over them, but this was of no concerned with her. On the contrary, she was glad they just where there, free of anyone and anything. Their sparkling mystery and collective beauty made her proud to be Princess of the Night. Now, she was denied even her stars. Where once were light, there was only darkness.
Not that there was total darkness. Only the sky was a void. The ground of the pale moon surface was lit as if there was light from the sun. She tried to make sense of it, were there was illumination with no sun or stars. She accepted with to be a trick of her mind, giving her the worst of both her worlds. Her dead eternal prison being the same with no real light to comfort her. She got up, dusted off and started to walk.
She quickly found out in her nights that there was no depth beyond what she could see, nor anything above her to which she could fly. She tried on some nights to fly as fast as she could around her imagined moon, but found it was eternal. Likewise, when she tried to fly straight up, she was met with darkness on all side, then, the ground speeding towards her as if she was diving down at it. On those nights, when she miscalculated and hit the ground at full force, she found to feel no pain. Any injuries she would take from her foolishness would be reversed at an instant. At first she thought to be a blessing, but found out that not even pain could fill her mind while she slept. She was left with her thoughts only, left with them in a static world with no wind, no air, no chance. Just existing and thinking until she woke up.
The silence would drive her to the point to madness at times, so she developed a way to fill the time by walking and thinking. Thinking thoughts other than her time being imprisoned. Trapped in an over burdening world of her own creation, she thought of her times awake. When she would visit the dreams of other ponies, of what was going on in the castle late at night. She found it particularly amusing finding guards asleep standing up while on post. When they woke up by her presence, she laughed it off and told them to carry on, earning sheepish smiles at times. Even when things seemed still, there was things to see and hear. From the scrapping of mice looking for food in the walls of some towers, to the sight of thousands of bats flying across the sky underneath a full lit moon to find a meal, there was much about her night she discovered with patience. She hated how these thoughts turned onto her at times, about her time being impulsive about her night being under appreciated.
Willing away the dark thoughts, she continued about her way, thinking about cakes being made in the Cantorlots massive bakery. However, after sometime, she felt something was amiss. It seemed to be longer than her previous nights. Slightly worried, she stopped. Taking a hoof, she smashed it into the dusty ground. Then, she counted.
For every minute, she made a new imprint in the ground. This was nearly as maddening as the silence, but she had to make sure that nothing was wrong. After what seemed like hours, when her hoof was covered in dust, she stopped and walked back to when she first began. Counting the number of imprints, she came up with over 600 hoof prints.
10 hours. Not including the time thinking and walking.
She stared at the final imprint. She continued to stare, dazed and in a trance.
There was no way that can be right, she thought.
“There is no way that can be right” she said to the ground.
She started to breath a little faster, shaking slightly.
“There is no way that can be right” she said again, this time with more force.
She raised her forehoof and smashed it into the imprint. “There is no way that can be right” she said again, raising her hoof and smashing it again into the ground. She continued to repeat this, adding more energy into she smashes and more urgency into her voice.
“There is no way that can be right. There is no way that can be right! There is no way that can be right! THERE IS NO WAY THAT CAN BE RIGHT!”
Hyperventilating now, she was assaulting the spot of ground now with both hoofs. Screaming in a voice that would deafen even far away listeners, she continued to shout, trying to will her wishes to become real.
Abruptly, she stopped, hoofs stained with dust and moon dirt. Standing over the small hole she made, she looked around frantically. Wide eyed, she looked for something, anything. Unable to find anything, she spread her wing and took off the ground. Flying towards a random direction, she flew as fast as she could, going faster than she ever did. With no air to slow her down, she saw the ground rushing by, but there no dust being disturbed by the frantic pony. No matter how fast she went, it was always the same scene. A flat gray surface underneath a black void sky.
Tilting her wings, she flew straight down into the ground head first, ejecting a small plumb of moon material around her. An angle that would have both tore her wings to shreds and her body a bloody mess, she sat in the small crater she made, completely fine. As the dust began to slowly fall around her silently, she began to cry. Then weep. She never cried outright in front of any other pony, not even her sister. She saw it as a personal sign of weakness from her. Now, she was opening sobbing, howling and writhing out of her mind.
She did so until she had no more energy in her. She just laid in her crater, unmoving, silent. Her mind blank, no thoughts of cakes or mice, just numb from the reality she created for herself. She slowly started to go wide eyes, the realization of what was going on settling in. She started to shake uncontrollably.
She stayed like that for seemed like an eternity to her. She just laid there on her side, staring into were the horizon met a black endless void. Then, she heard a whisper.
She stopped shaking, slowly looking up around her. She thought she was finally going mad. That was until she heard it again.
She couldn’t make it out what was being said, if anything at all. But it was something she never experience before in this cursed place. Even as she thought it to be a fabrication she made up in her head, she stood up and sought out the sound.
It came and went, like her labored breathing. The only salvation from her insanity became more clear as she started to make out where the source was. Unable to concentrate for flying, she first walked, then sped it up to a trot, then a cantor. The pulsing sound speed up, and her eyes were crazed as it began to hurt her with its intensity. The pain in her head only sped her on, as she felt something else other than her own mind tearing itself apart. Now, this thing was doing that for her, and she sped towards it like never before.
Finally, in the distance, she saw an object emerge on the horizon. Sticking out towards the sky was a structure. As she raced towards it, her body began to give way. First her legs, then her chest. It was as if her entire body was being set on fire as she got closer to it. Any other pony would have dashed in the opposite direction, but for Luna, she had to get there, even if it meant killing her. To her, death was preferable to what was behind her.
As she could see it more clearly, she was forced to slow down by her own body. Finally unable to take the toll she was giving herself, it began to give out. Her legs were refusing to take any more steps, but she willed on. She felt like she was being stabbed in the heart over and over. Her lungs were on fire, her breathing labored. She still went on, crawling towards her destination. She collapsed suddenly, unable to stand up. Not willing to just lay there, she began to crawl to the object.
Her head down, with her body about to explode and after what felt like endless hours she poked the object with her horn. Shaking and in pain, she looked up at it and saw a statue of herself, towering above her. Nearly blinded by pain, she struggled to see it more clearly. Then, she saw something that made her heart skip a beat.
The statues eyes were that of a dragons.
Fixated on the eyes, she stood up, oblivious to the pain assaulting her from all sides. Then the pain, the pulsing ringing in her ears all stopped at once.
Surprised, she looked behind her to see if there was something to explain why it all stopped, but she saw nothing. Then looking back to the statue, she saw that is was gone.
Blinking in disbelief, she tried to make sense of the recent turn of events. Then, the whispering started again, this time more clearly than before. She strained her ears to make out what was being said. She made out a word:
“Luna.”
She stood still for a while, hearing her name being repeated by some unknown force. Then, the ground began to tremble. Startled, she took flight.
Below her, the ground was distorting and changing like bubbling quicksand. Then, she saw something emerge. Rising above the ground. A mass of moon material.
Landing, she looked at it as it began to take shape in front of her.
A pony body. Taller than her. Wings. Like her sister, with a helmet on.
The things eye where closed. Luna stared at it intensely, fearing, dreading, hoping what she thought wasn’t to be.
Then, it opened it’s eyes. It had dragon eyes.
“Luna.”
It spoke with a voice filled with venom and hatred. Luna was prettified.
“We need each other.”
Taking flight and backing away with haste, she unleashed magic from her horn towards the demon.
It exploded with such force Luna fell out of the sky. Tumbling downward, she had little time to thin before the ground met her face, and she was knocked out cold.
… … … … …
When she came to, she woke up staring into a black sky. Mind numb and filled with fear, she got up and looked at what she wrought. Where the manifestation of her dark past once was, now only a smoking crater remained. After she took a sigh of relief, her blood suddenly became ice.
Behind her, the breathing of winter rolled down her neck.
“We are one and the same.” Spinning around, Luna found herself trapped in the beasts magic. The creatures dragon eyes looked at her with a hunger to them.
Leaning close, the terror that caused her thousand year banishment whispered into Luna’s ear.
“I need you. You need me. You will never be free of this place. Only together can we escape. Embrace who you are.”
The creature then spread its wings and engulfed her, encompassing her in a blackness she never knew previously. She tried to scream, but no sound came out. She tried her magic, but the light was swallowed whole. And when she stared into the abyss.
It stared back.
… … … … …
She woke suddenly, staring into the roof of her bedroom, underneath a beam of light coming through the window.
She stood up, looking around the room. It was still daytime, high noon as far as she could tell.
Laying back down, she breathed a sigh of relief. No longer tired, and mentally exhausted to what just happened, she decided enough was enough. Unwilling to go through another nightmare like that, she spent the next few hours preparing to confront her sister about this. Not wanting to burden her with everything, she prepared a watered down version of her problem. Hopefully, her sister could at least comfort her and understand what was going on. She was certain she would be there for her as she was before so long ago.
Finally ready to step out into the light spoiled court yard, she began to walk to Celestia’s chambers. She didn’t stop, paying no pony any mind until she reached her sister. She didn’t stop for the guard asleep on the job, no the mice scurrying about looking for food. She didn’t even pay any mind when she was shaded by the multitude of bats flying above her, looking for food. She just kept walking, and walking, and walking.