A recently freed Discord tries to reform a pair of thieves in a chaotic game.
Discord is a new draconequus now, and sworn to use his powers only for good, but that doesn't mean he can't still have some chaotic fun while on the job. Tasked with helping to reform a pair of thieves hiding out in an abandoned apartment building, the Spirit of Chaos decides to make a game of it. Two lost souls find their lives on the line as they gamble their freedom in a battle of wits against a grand master, in his own House of Chaos.
Discord. Once upon a time, it was a name that struck fear into the hearts of mortal ponies. Then for an age it was the name of a mythical creature, spoken of by parents trying to scare their children into behaving. "Be good little fillies, or Discord will get you," they'd say. Then he was forgotten, and another age was spent in ignorance to his existence, with even the fairytale version of him becoming obscure and unknown. Then, finally, he broke free again. And then he was imprisoned again. And then he got paroled. And now, "Discord" is a name that one can find in the yearly census.
And so Equestria learned to fear Discord once again.
In a small moonlit alley in the depths of the city, two stallions dragged along a pair of burlap sacks, which clattered and clanged with the sound of the metal inside.
"Are you sure we're good to hide out here, boss?" asked the tan earth pony as he dragged along the larger sack.
The grey pegasus in front of him grunted in frustration. He spat out the end of the second bag that and let it drop loudly to the floor. He winced as it did, and turned to face his underling.
"Mask, listen to me," he said seriously. "I messed up. I admit that. It's my fault, and I'm sorry. But listen... We can't let ourselves get caught now. Not after all the trouble we went through for this."
Mask nervously looked over his shoulder.
"But boss—"
"I know!" the pegasus seethed. "I know. But it's too late now. They're not going to forgive and forget after this, and the law will be after us in a matter of hours. All we can do is hole up here, and just wait it out. We can make a run for Fix's house in a few days when we've got a clear getaway. He'll be able to help us out. If nopony catches us with the stolen goods, they can't prove we did anything!"
"I... I still don't know..." Mask fretted. "Shady, are you sure this place is safe?"
"Positive. It's been abandoned since it was bought out by Mixer Construction."
He flapped his wings and hovered up a little way. In the dark of the alley, one could only barely see the fire escape above them, but Shady soon dropped back down with the bottom rung of the ladder held in his teeth. He let it go, and the sound of the ladder striking the floor also echoed through the alley.
Shady snorted. "Nopony lives around here anymore. Quit worrying."
He grabbed the bag he was carrying before and flew up a level, depositing it on the balcony. Then he fluttered down and carried up the second bag as his companion climbed the ladder. Once they were both on the balcony, Mask pulled the ladder back up again, while Shady turned to the glass window next to them and bucked it in, shattering it into tiny pieces with a loud and sudden crash.
"Oh, come on!" said Mask. "There's a door right there!"
"It'll be locked," Shady said with a roll of his eyes. "Easier to just break the window."
There was a beat, before Mask reached over to the wooden door, turned the handle, and easily pushed the door open. Shady blinked.
"Okay, be fair, that's a one in a million thing. There's no way you could have known it was open."
Mask shrugged and picked up his sack again.
"Whatever you say, boss."
The Sunshine House apartment complex was indeed abandoned. More than that, though, it was dusty and derelict. The place was meant to have been demolished years ago, but for whatever reason, it never happened. The Mixer Construction Company had purchased the land with intentions of building new office spaces here, but as sometimes happened in the construction business, the project had been abandoned, and the old building was simply left to stand.
Now it was aged and ugly. Walls were missing and broken. Rats and other animals lived in the dark corners of the building. Graffiti and litter could be found sporadically around the place. And what few rooms still had furniture (or any other kind of indication that there was once life here) were completely trashed. It was a hollow shell of the place it once was, but for the immediate future, it would have to serve.
"Eurgh. Are you serious, boss? We have to stay here?"
"I know it doesn't look like much, but—"
"Really, here? Look at this place! It's filthy! It's full of rats! It's cold!"
"Mask, please shut up."
Shady trotted out from the small room they had entered through, and out into the long, empty corridor. Standing there, he could see all the doors in their various states of disrepair. Some had been left hanging open. Others were closed. Locked, even. At least one had been torn off its hinges, and now lay in the middle of the floor at the far end.
"Hmm..." Shady frowned. "If I recall correctly, some vagrants used to live in the basement of this complex. It should be warmer down there."
"...We're going to sleep in the basement?"
"Yes. We're going to sleep in the basement. Have you got a problem with that?"
"Umm... No..."
"Because if you want to leave, you can go right outside and hail a taxi right now. Or a police patrol."
"Fine!" Mask threw up his hooves. "Point taken!"
"Good. Get the sack."
He grumbled, but obediently did so, and followed his boss and partner in crime down the dusty corridor as a chill wind blew through.
"See? This isn't so bad."
Compared to the rest of the complex, it really wasn't. The basement was still full of litter, but it had all been brushed into the corner. Rats still scurried about, but they retreated into their holes in the wall when the two stallions entered. And it was definitely warmer down here, even if the ancient boiler in the corner wasn't actually functional. There was even a relatively clean bed in one corner, likely taken from one of the apartments above. "Relatively" being the important word; it was still covered in dust, and the mattress was crusty, but it at least wasn't coated with grime or full of animal droppings like some other parts of the building.
Mask sighed. "I guess not..."
"Hey, come on. Smile! Show a little optimism! Things may not look so good right now, but you'll see! This will all be worth it in the end..."
Shady dumped his burlap sack onto the floor, and the contents spilled out. Plates and goblets of silver and gold, loose bits of jewellery, a fancy-looking candlestick, some formal cutlery, and even some folded silk bed sheets all now covered the floor. Mask followed suit and dropped his load as well.
"You'll see," Shady repeated. "Just bear with me for now. You won't regret this in a few days."
"I hope not, boss."
It had already been late when the two stallions arrived, so it was well into the early morning when they finally drifted off to sleep. There was only a single bed, but it was big enough for them to not have to worry about kicking each other in the night.
The real problem was the cold. Despite the basement being warmer than the draughty building above them, Mask still lamented not bringing along his unicorn friend who knew that heating spell, and entertained fantasies of her getting the old boiler they slept next to up and running again. He had also considered using the silk bed sheets they had stolen as an additional layer, but Shady had refused on the grounds that he didn't want to get the merchandise as filthy as this place was.
As he shivered in the bed, tossing and turning and trying to pull more covers over himself, Mask awoke to the sound of a distant, echoing laughter. He immediately sat up, looking around for whatever he had heard, but there was nothing in the darkness.
Weird... he thought. I could have sworn I heard...
He shrugged it off.
"Probably just my imagination," he muttered.
But just as he lay back down, he heard it again, clearer this time. He shot back upright.
Okay, I know I heard something that time.
Quietly as he could, Mask climbed out of the bed, around the boss, and tiptoed across the floor of the basement. He perked his ears, listening for the sound again, trying to find the source, but it never came a third time. Instead, there was a creaking somewhere above him. He looked over to the corner of the room, at the doorway to the stairs that led up to the ground level. There was another creaking sound, and the door opened by itself, letting silver moonlight spill through.
Wait a moment. That can't be moonlight.
Those stairs just led up to the interior of the apartment complex, not to the outside. What was that light? Where was it coming from? He edged his way across the floor, and poked his head around the corner of the door frame to look up the stairs, but the light was too bright for him to see its source.
Mask glanced back at the bed, where the boss still slept, and considered waking him to show him this strange phenomenon. But some part of him, some curious part, insisted that he didn't need Shady, that he could discover the truth for himself, if only he pushed on alone. So with a nervous gulp, Mask climbed the stairs, and disappeared into the light.
...Well, this is unexpected.
When Mask reached the top of the stairs, he felt as if he'd stepped through a portal to another world. Sunshine House was gone, and he had instead exited into what looked like an operating theatre. The silvery light from wasn't moonlight, as he'd initially thought, but was instead coming from the theatre's lights above them. In the middle of the room, an elderly brown earth mare lay on an operating table, eyes closed and breathing slowly. She was hooked up to some machine which was making a steady beeping noise, and her face was half-covered by her wispy white mane.
Mask slowly stepped closer to the mare, and ran a hoof along her cheek.
"...Mom?"
Suddenly, a low voice spoke directly into his ear.
"You're not allowed in here."
Mask twisted around to face whoever was behind him, and the colour drained from his face as he beheld the draconequus looming above him. Discord, the Spirit of Chaos himself, smiled at him. His long, snake-like body would have made him as tall as the room's ceiling, even if he were standing on the ground. Instead, though, he floated in the air, bending down so that his face was closer to Mask's, his piercing yellow eyes and sharp teeth just inches away.
And he was dressed up like a doctor.
"I apologise, but only staff are allowed in here," said Discord, drawing back. "There's an operation in progress, you see."
"Wh-What are you doing here?" Mask whispered, backing away as he began breathing heavily. "What are you going to do to me?"
"'Do to you?'" Discord repeated, frowning. "I'm not going to do anything. I took an oath. You know? 'Do no harm.' Pffff. We'll simply have to call security."
He snapped a talon, and a trio of police ponies in blue uniforms appeared.
"Hey, that's our guy!" shouted one of them, a cobalt blue mare, as she pointed at him.
They all drew truncheons and rushed at him.
"Oh please no!"
Mask cowered on the floor, attempting to indicate surrender. The three ponies were about to beat him when they were suddenly frozen. And not metaphorically frozen either, but literally encased in ice, and with one of their batons just seconds from impacting with Mask's face. He whimpered at the sight of it, staring up at them as he lay on his back.
Discord's face appeared above him, leaning over the circle of ponies that surrounded him and blocking out the light. He now wore the uniform of a police sergeant.
"My, my," he tutted. "Somepony's broken more than just some hospital regulations, hasn't he?"
With another click the frozen ponies disappeared, and suddenly Mask was hanging upside down in the air, suspended by invisible strings that he could feel around his hooves. He struggled to move while Discord walked up in front of him. He had put on a set of reading glasses, and was now examining a checklist.
"Robber Mask," Discord read out. "Unfortunate name. Quite the career criminal, I see. You've burgled three houses and two major business outlets in this city in the past month alone. You and your friend. What's his name? Ah yes, 'Shady Dealing.' Also unfortunate. I don't understand what it is with pony names. What else could you two have been but thieves with names like that?"
Mask whimpered again.
"Oh, hush now. I'm not here to hurt you, dear boy. I'm a new draconequus now! Sworn to use my magnificently chaotic powers only for good. And what better good is there than helping my fellow lost souls find the light, just like me?"
He raised his mismatched hands and clapped them together. Those strings tying Mask's hooves suddenly became visible, just in time for a giant pair of scissors to spring into being and cut them. He fell to the floor in a heap and immediately scrambled to get away from Discord.
"There's no escape, you know."
The door that led into the operating theatre vanished in a flash of light, and Mask skidded to a halt.
"Hold on. I feel like I'm forgetting something..." Discord stroked his beard for a moment. "Oh! Of course! Silly me."
Another snap and another flash of light then deposited Shady Dealing in the middle of the room as well. He sat on his haunches as he stared into space, unblinking and seemingly disoriented.
"Hellooooooooo?" said Discord, waving a paw in front of him.
That snapped him out of it, and Shady immediately noticed the chimera in front of him and leapt back in terror. He didn't make a noise, unlike Mask, but his eyes were wide as dinner plates, and he backed away from Discord until he hit a wall.
"Hmm. Same reaction. Curious."
There was another flash. The two ponies now found themselves sitting next to each other, while Discord floated just in front of them. They both tried to flee again, but this time they were stopped by their cuffs, as well as the large ball and chain attached to both of them. Looking at each other first, and then down at themselves, they realised that they were both dressed in orange jumpsuits now.
"Now, let me explain," said Discord in the tone of a patient schoolteacher. "The both of you have broken a lot of rules tonight, and on several other nights. This city already has enough crime, and Princess Celestia would rather there be less of it. Don't get me wrong, I like the chaotic mess that this city is right now, and in old times I'd be the last person to take orders from old dreary. But as we've established, I'm reformed now. And now, I'm going to reform you two as well."
Mask and Shady looked at each other.
"You mean you're... going to put us into rehab?" asked Shady.
"What? No!" Discord slapped his face. "I said that I was reformed, not that I became boring! Rehab centres are no fun at all. They're where fun goes to die. You'd think a building full of utterly mad ponies would be a great place for a creature like me, but I just find them depressing."
He vanished and appeared behind the two of them, putting an arm around both their necks and pulling them together in a big hug.
"No! We're going to do this Discord style! You two and myself are going to play a little game. The setting? This apartment complex. The rules? There are none! I'm just going to set you two loose on this place, and by the morning you're both going to walk out of here as new ponies. I guarantee it."
"You're not gonna... use mind control on us... are you?" asked Mask.
"Yeah, I heard about you and your freaky powers!" Shady agreed. "What was it you did to all those ponies last time? That thing that made them turn grey?"
Discord stroked his beard and made a show of pondering.
"Well, yes. It's true. I could just use a little chaos magic and fix you up right away, at the cost of some light desaturation. And you're already grey, so it hardly matters. But, I don't think that would be very sporting of me."
There was another flash, and suddenly he was back in front of them.
"We're doing this the old fashioned way. I'm going to help you change your ways, and I'm going to do it without magically affecting your minds at all. That is the one rule. It's a rule for me. And if I can't do it, then you two win the game; I'll let you leave with all your stolen goods, and I'll even concede a victory prize of erasing all knowledge of your crimes. You'd effectively have a clean slate to start again."
Shady and Mask shared another concerned look.
"...And if we lose?" asked Shady.
"Well, if you lose, then I don't do anything. You'd be good ponies, and turn yourselves in out of remorse for your most heinous crimes."
"We'd turn ourselves in?" Mask said incredulously. "Like we'd ever do that!"
Discord rolled his eyes knowingly.
"You say that now. Let's just wait and see. So, little ponies. Are you ready to play?"
Shady winced. "Do we have a choice?"
"Now that you mention it... No."
Discord raised his claw and snapped. Wind drifted through the operating theatre, seemingly coming from nowhere. Then a tornado began to form. The room itself dissolved, and the dust and pigment was scattered away in the wind, leaving only a white emptiness and a raging hurricane that the three stood in the centre of.
"Good luck, you two!" Discord called.
And then he disappeared into the void, leaving them alone in the storm.
The two stallions clung to each other for dear life. The inexplicable storm that Discord had summoned showed no signs of slowing down. The operating theatre was long gone, and now all that remained was the white void around them and the tornado.
"Where are we going?" Shady Dealing shouted over the din.
"I don't know!" said Robber Mask.
The jumpsuits that Discord had seen fit to dress them in dissolved around them. The two looked down as their clothing turned to orange dust and blew away in the wind. Mask hoped for a moment that the ball and chain binding them together would follow, but that didn't seem to be the case. Instead, he yelped as it began to rise into the air like a helium balloon, lifting him and Shady off the floor and further up into the storm.
Shady flapped his wings and righted himself, hovering in the air as the balloon dragged him upwards and trying to chew the chains off. Unfortunately, the chains were still as solid as metal, even though they had become lighter now. Mask wasn't so lucky, and instead dangled below the balloon by his hind legs. He gulped as he looked down at the ground, already far below them, as it too dissolved into dust and blew away like the rest of the operating theatre.
"Shady! I'm scared of heights!"
"That's great, Mask! I'm not too fond of them myself, despite the wings!"
Shady was trying to fly down and pull the balloon back towards the ground, away from the storm above, but it resisted him and continued their ascent. The wind didn't seem to be affecting its course either, only succeeding in knocking the two ponies around.
"I'm gonna fall!" Mask called.
"You're not gonna fall! That demon wouldn't put us in this position just to kill us! Just stay still while I try to get us out of this!"
At that point, the balloon stopped with a jerk, now hanging in the air with complete stillness. The storm also brought something new. The clouds of particles that had formed when the operating theatre melted were back, and this time they were different. No longer the whites and blues of that room, they were a mix of wooden brown, rich red, and a cream colour, too. As the two of them watched, they came together and became a room again, except not exactly a room. A corridor. A very long corridor, with cream-coloured wallpaper, a thick red carpet, and hundreds of doors in both directions with golden numbers on them. Above them, several chandeliers hung from the ceiling.
Once the corridor had finished forming, the two stallions just stopped and stared for a second. Mask was about to say something, but then the balloon popped, and he fell onto the carpet face-first.
"Ugh..." he groaned as he pulled himself up.
Shady, who had just been hovering beside him the whole time, landed with far less drama. Normally, the boss probably would have made fun of Mask at this point, but that was the last thing on either of their minds at the moment.
"...Where are we?" Shady asked, looking around.
He walked a few steps and examined the nearest door, which had a big shiny number "six-three-seven" screwed onto it just above a peephole.
"Looks like some kind of... hotel, maybe?" he said, running a hoof over the door.
Mask finally stood up again, leaning against the nearest wall. He breathed like he'd just finished running a marathon.
"That... was terrifying..."
"But why would we be in a hotel?" Shady continued, uninterested. "Sunshine was an apartment complex, not a hotel..."
At that point, there was an audible crackling. The stallions looked around, trying to find its source, until they noticed a series of speakers placed at regular intervals along the corridor's ceiling.
"Au contraire, my little ponies," Discord's distorted voice answered. "Sunshine House has a surprisingly rich history, dating all the way back to its original role as a hospital during the Fourth Celestial Era. Afterwards, during the economic boom following the invention of the steam engine, it enjoyed a stint as a five-star hotel. Good fortune doesn't last forever, though, and the Sunshine House Apartments soon emerged when the hotel closed its doors. Versatility is the name of the game, and this place changed with the times just like everypony else!"
Shady frowned.
"Discord..." he growled, speaking to the air. "Since when were you so interested in history, huh? What are we even doing here? What is this sick game of yours?!"
"But history can be such fun! Take this place, for instance. In the present, yes, a ruined old edifice ready to be demolished that's only any use to the rats. But dial back the timeline a bit, and think of all the interesting settings we can play around in! The ponies you could meet, the places you could see! Many would kill for such an opportunity! Don't be ungrateful."
"Discord—!"
"I'm sorry, that's all we have time for. You two run along and go meet your new neighbours. I'll be back to check on you later."
Shady stomped a forehoof as loudly as possible, which wasn't very loud due to it being cushioned by the carpet.
"Discord!"
The speakers just crackled again, and this time began playing a generic, repetitive jingle.
Shady was left staring at the ceiling, wings ruffling. Their tormentor was ignoring them, and now they were left to their own devices in this strange fantasy. Mask didn't know what to expect from this place, but he doubted it would be anything pleasant.
"...Boss?" he said.
Shady turned back to face him.
"Sorry. Yeah?"
"What are we gonna do?"
Shady paused to consider the question.
"...I don't know," he said honestly. "Wander around a bit, I suppose. See if we run into anything."
"I don't like this place, Shady. It's giving me the creeps."
"Yeah. Me too, buddy. Me too..."
That music hadn't gotten any less irritating over time. At least, not to Shady. His eye was twitching, and with every step he took, he seemed ready to explode into frothing rage. His partner, in contrast, very much seemed to like it. Mask was happily bobbing his head along to the repetitive tune, taking some kind of comfort in the simplicity and mundanity of it.
"Dear Celestia, will it ever end?" Shady moaned. "How long have we been wandering these corridors? It feels like it's been hours!"
"...It's been ten minutes, boss."
Sunshine House – if this was still Sunshine House – was deceptively complex. Though the long straight corridor they had started in seemed to imply that the building was very neatly designed and straightforward, they had instead reached the end of it only to find it giving way to dozens of other, shorter corridors. They twisted and turned in such a way that could only have been Discord's doing, as there was no way that any sane architect would have designed a building this way.
They had been wandering this floor for ten minutes, if Mask was to be believed, but to Shady, it felt like far longer. Those ten minutes seemed to blur together into a haze of samey-looking corridors and a continuous stream of repetitive background music. There was never any variation aside from the twisting of the corridors themselves. All the doors looked the same aside from their numbers, which continued to count ever higher until they were into the quadruple digits. All the speakers above looked the same, and were placed at the same regular intervals. And every so often, they'd pass a cold radiator, each one identical to the last.
"I want it to stop, Mask! It's drilling into my brain!"
"What is?"
"The music! That Celestia-damned music! I can't take much more of it!"
Mask raised an eyebrow. "Really? It bothers you that much?"
"Yes!"
Shady curled up into a ball and laid down on the carpet, shivering as he hugged himself with his wings.
"It's always the same, Mask... It never ends... Never ending... stupid elevator music... going on, and on, and on..."
The worst part of it wasn't even the music itself. It was how every so often, it would cut out for just a split second, before continuing on just as before. It was that tiny, brief moment of hope that it would finally end that made the pain all the worse. Truly this was a horror no mortal was meant to experience.
"Oh, quit being such a baby!" said Mask. "It's just a little jingle. Don't tell me that this was all Discord needed to break you?"
Shady Dealing glared up at his partner and rose to his full height again. His expression was one of righteous fury and indignation.
"No. You're right. I'm not going to stand for this!"
Mask watched him as he flapped his wings and rose into the air, before shooting down the corridor back the way they came like a bolt of lightning. He dashed straight for the nearest speaker, twisted around mid-air, and bucked it with his hind legs as hard as he could. The music stopped abruptly as the speaker shattered into chunks of plastic and fell onto the carpet below, leaving only wires dangling out of a hole in the wall.
"There!" he shouted in triumph. "I did it! My torment is over! Take that, Discord!"
A nearby door suddenly flew open, and a draconequus poked his head out, frowning at the pony hovering by where the speaker used to be.
"You know, causing property damage is not an endearing trait," he said.
"Look who's talking!"
"Me?" said Discord, placing a mismatched hand over his heart. "I'll have you know that I never destroyed anything during either of my great chaotic reigns! I just twisted things into new and interesting shapes, and then made them dance around! There's a huge difference!"
He stepped out of the room and walked over to where the speaker had fallen. He picked up the largest two chunks of its remains, and looked at them sadly.
"This, though? This is monstrous. I don't know how you can live with yourself."
Shady's jaw hung open.
"But you—!"
"Up, up, up! Zip it! You've committed an act of vandalism, and damaged hotel property. Therefore, you answer to the hotel staff now."
Discord rolled his eyes and tossed the broken remains of the speaker over his shoulder.
"You know, I was a lot more respected before this whole reforming business. Ponies didn't tend to run their mouths off to the Spirit of Chaos when they thought he would replace their legs with pogo sticks if they disobeyed. That's my curse, I suppose. I'm just too nice for my own good. But no matter. I'll leave the janitor to deal with you."
He did a little twirl with his claw, and a new costume appeared on him with a pop. A top hat sat over his horns, a monocle covered his right eye, and he was now wearing a suit and carrying a cane.
"Janitor?" Mask repeated, speaking up for the first time since Discord appeared.
"Hmm?" said Discord, checking a watch that had appeared on his wrist. "Oh yes, the janitor. Charming fellow. Large, hairy, has a very expressive face. You'll know when you see him."
Discord strolled over to the doorway he had entered from and began to leave. Just before he closed the door behind him completely, he poked his head out yet again.
"Be careful. He bites."
Left alone in the corridor again, now quiet for the first time since they arrived, Mask and Shady looked at each other uneasily.
"I don't like the sound of that," said Mask.
A sudden loud thudding noise came from behind them. Both ponies turned their heads towards the end of the corridor, in the direction they had been heading towards before. A short distance ahead, the corridor split. The noise came from around the corner to the right, a steady, distant pattern of thumps like the footsteps of something very big, and most probably with two legs from the sound of it.
"...And I like the sound of that even less!" Shady added.
The steps grew ever louder. Shady fluttered down and landed to lay a hoof on Mask's shoulder, as much as to support himself as to comfort his friend. He didn't say another word. The two of them maintained their silence as the source of the noise came into view.
A gargantuan blue minotaur emerged from around the corner, stomping towards them. His pace didn't change, but his expression did, in a subtle way. At first, he just looked angry to be here in this place. But as soon as he noticed the two ponies standing in the corridor, his anger was directed towards them instead. Still, they stood their ground, though Shady's heart raced and his partner's knees shook as the beast approached.
The minotaur came to stop right in front of them, and they cowered in his shadow. In a booming voice, he spoke to them.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY SPEAKER?!"
Their immediate punishment was not nearly as severe as Shady had been expecting. Upon both failing to come up with a good excuse and trying to pin the blame on each other, the nameless minotaur janitor had simply picked up both stallions, slung them over his shoulder, and marched back the way he came from, carrying them with him. They turned the corner at the end of the corridor, and both ponies looked behind them to see the path ahead. This next hallway was much shorter, and halfway down, an old wooden elevator waited for them.
The janitor tossed them inside and followed them in. His fist slammed the button for the basement level. The panel sparked with magic, and a cage door slid closed as the elevator began to descend. Once they were moving, Shady and Mask dragged themselves to their hooves again. The minotaur glared down at them, crossing his arms over his chest. For a moment, they all simply stood and waited, the elevator silent but for the distant rumbling of the winch lowering them.
Shady was the one to break the silence.
"Wait a second, you play elevator music through ceiling-mounted speakers in the hallways outside ponies' rooms, but not in the actual elevator?"
The janitor's unamused glare only intensified.
The elevator stopped with the sound of a ringing bell, and the cage doors opened again. The janitor grabbed both Shady and Mask by their tails and dragged them out as the elevator closed behind them.
Emerging into a dingy room lit only by a single light bulb hanging from the ceiling, they suddenly found themselves thrown onto a pair of wooden chairs before an old office desk. All around them, the room was filled with cleaning supplies and repair materials. A mop rested against the wall in one corner. An old vacuum cleaner gathered dust in another. Several boxes filled with wires, packs of light bulbs, and pieces of copper and tubing and old rubber were stacked next to the desk. Behind it were filing cabinets that looked like they hadn't been used in eons. On the other side of the room, a red metal door was locked shut.
The janitor sat down behind the desk. He opened a drawer and pulled out a dusty log book and pen, which he dumped in front of him and then opened up to the middle pages. One was full of scruffy writing, and the other was blank. He stuck the pen between his teeth and held it there while he then searched himself and the top drawers for something else. This turned out to be a pair of reading glasses, which he donned as he removed the pen from his mouth and used it to scribble a quick note in the book.
All the while, Mask and Shady remained as still as possible, awaiting whatever judgement he would pass.
"Alright," the janitor said finally, pushing the log book aside. "Now you two have some explaining to do to the manager."
The stallions exchanged a look of mutual confusion. The janitor didn't explain further, instead reaching to the side and pulling over a white device that Shady had until that point mistaken for a lamp, but which he now realised was actually an old candlestick telephone, a device that was rare even in the present day, let alone whatever time period they were in now.
After dialling a three-button number, the janitor held it up to his ear and spoke.
"Yeah, boss? Found a couple of vandals on the fifth floor. Damaged one of the speakers."
The phone suddenly became very loud, and the janitor held it away and winced as it began spewing a stream of incomprehensible vitriol. He eventually put it back to his ear and continued listening.
"I know. Uh-huh." He paused until the other end went quiet. "I brought them down here."
If the boss was still speaking, Shady could no longer hear him.
"Well, that's why I called you... Yes, sir. Certainly."
The janitor calmly put the phone down and gave the two stallions a sympathetic look.
"I'm sorry, guys, but you're both going to die."
At that exact moment, the elevator opened up again and a moustached unicorn walked in, his face red with sheer, unbridled rage, though his coat was otherwise dark. He levitated a phone almost identical to the janitor's next to him, with a long coiled cord trailing behind him back into the elevator, and rising up through a grate in its roof to somewhere above. Shady didn't even have enough time to contemplate how little sense that made before the pony he presumed to be the manager stomped over and started screaming at them.
"So, breaking speakers, is it?! And just what precisely made you think you would get away with that kind of behaviour in my hotel, hmmmmmmm?!"
He spoke to both of them, but it was Mask who he was looking at while he said it. He cringed from the volume of the manager's voice.
"It wasn't me! Shady did it!"
Shady glared at him for a moment, but was then surprised as the manager slapped Mask in the face.
"Ow! What was that for?"
"For snitching on your friend!" the manager roared, his bushy brown moustache bristling. "Do you have no sense of loyalty?"
Mask blinked repeatedly and looked back and forth between Shady and the janitor, who could both only offer him confused shrugs in return.
"Umm..." he stuttered. "So would you rather I just not told you who...?"
The manager slapped him in the face again, knocking Mask fell off his chair while Shady winced.
"Earth ponies!" he shouted, shaking his hoof at Mask. "Why are all earth ponies so worthless?"
The manager turned to the janitor. "That's a serious question, Axe Grind! Tell me why earth ponies are so worthless?"
Axe Grind sighed.
"Because you say they are, boss."
"Damn right!" He then turned to Shady. "You're not an earth pony, so why are you engaging in earthish vandalism like this other one?"
Shady blinked.
"Why are you so racist? I didn't think guys like you even still existed anymore."
The manager tilted his head back, glaring down his nose at him. Shady looked over to Mask again, who'd retaken his seat and still looked as incredulous as before.
Screw it, Shady thought. Might as well be honest for once.
"Look, listen to me," he said with a sigh. "Me and my friend aren't from around here. Or even from this time period. We come from the future, after this building is run down and supposed to be demolished. We were sent here by a being called Discord, who's playing some kind of sick game with us, and he took us back to the period where this place was a hotel, which is now. We didn't see anypony here, so I thought that it was an illusion and that it didn't matter what I broke, and the music from the speaker was annoying me, so I broke it to lash out at Discord. And I'm sorry."
The manager narrowed his eyes and leaned in closer.
"Hmm... You managed to keep a straight face while telling me that... I don't believe you, but you are a pegasus, so I believe you more than I would if the dirt pony had told me the same thing. And you said it with conviction. Therefore I'm going to assume that you're not lying, but simply insane."
The manager turned to Axe Grind again.
"Get the mud-eater to fix the speaker, and take this one to see Dr. Lobe."
"Uhh.... Who's Dr. Lobe?" asked Shady.
"She lives on the third floor," the manager answered calmly, backing away. "She used to work here back when this was Sunshine General Hospital. She helps us out around here. She'll find out what's wrong with you."
"But I'm not—"
"Yes, thank you, goodbye."
He turned and marched out of the room, heading back into the elevator with his telephone and disappearing once more as the cage door slid closed and he ascended out of sight. Left alone with the janitor again, the two ponies immediately looked over to him.
"What the hay was up with that guy?" asked Mask.
Axe Grind sat back in his chair.
"I've been working with him for years, and I still don't know. He's not even like that all the time. Some days he's frothing at the mouth about how much he hates earth ponies, griffons, and for some reason sea lions, hits his employees, throws things, and shouts at everyone. Other days he's pleasant and gentle to everybody, even the ones he says he hates. And every once in a while he's been known to suddenly become depressed and start writing poetry."
He opened a drawer in his desk.
"In fact I have some of it here. It's actually very good poetry. I can read you some if you want?"
"Uh... no thanks," said Shady. "I'd rather we just get to work doing the things to make him not mad at us anymore."
"Of course." Axe Grind closed the drawer again and sighed. "So, let's—"
There was a dinging noise as the now empty elevator returned. Axe Grind stood up from his desk.
"Right... Come on, you two."
Shady and Mask did as they were told and followed the minotaur back into the elevator again, this time willingly. As they did, a thought occurred to Shady, and he leaned over to his partner.
"Hey, Mask?" he whispered.
"Yeah?"
"This is the same basement we slept in before, isn't it?"
Mask slowly nodded.
"So... why wasn't this elevator here in the future?"
All around them, the two ponies heard Discord chuckle.
Few places in the world were more uncomfortable than a cramped elevator. This was a basic fact of life that everybody learned at different times. For some, it was something that they instinctively knew from birth. For others, it was a revelation they had randomly during their day to day life, like while on the toilet or while chopping onions. But for most unfortunate souls, this was learned through bitter experience when they were confronted with it themselves.
Robber Mask, Shady Dealing, and the minotaur janitor Axe Grind were in just such a cramped elevator together at that moment, as they ascended towards the upper floors of Sunshine Hotel. By the time they'd reached the ground floor, they were already very uncomfortable.
In an apparent attempt to lessen the awkwardness, Axe Grind tried to make conversation.
"So... time travel," he said, leaning against the side of the elevator. "You serious about that?"
Shady shrugged his wings.
"I don't expect anypony to believe us. Damned Discord..."
"Well, I believe you."
Both ponies looked up at Axe Grind.
"What, really?" said Mask.
"Well, that is to say, I want to believe you. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but you did mention Discord, and most ponies these days don't even know who he is. Especially not in Manehattan."
Shady blinked.
"That's right!" he said, slapping his forehead. "Stupid! Discord was trapped in stone for hundreds of years! Of course the manager wouldn't have believed us! He wouldn't know who Discord is anymore than we did!"
"Wait, how do you know about Discord then?" asked Mask.
Axe Grind snorted.
"All minotaurs know the tale of Discord. He's the creator of our race! Many of our kind even still worship him today! Not in Equestria, of course; that's kind of outlawed here. But in the homelands, he's still a revered figure to some."
"...Huh," said Shady. "I didn't actually know that."
"But you make it sound like he's free in the future. Is he?"
"Yeah, kinda," said Mask. "He got released from stone a while back. Broke out, ruled Equestria for a day, and then he got taken down by the Elements of Harmony, who are these six anonymous mares who... Well, that's a whole other story. And then he was in stone again until recently, when he was released by Princess Celestia and supposedly 'reformed.' And now he's tormenting us."
Axe Grind raised an eyebrow. "The future sounds strange."
"That's not even the half of it," Shady muttered, shaking his head.
"What else happens, then?"
"You know the story of the Mare in the Moon?"
Axe Grind rubbed his chin. "Hmm... vaguely...."
"Well, that one was true as well. A bit before Discord came back, Nightmare Moon did too. And she also got reformed, and now she co-rules the kingdom with Celestia. And they aren't even the only alicorns anymore. There are a whole bunch now."
The janitor gave Shady a skeptical look.
"Are you just messing with me?"
"Guys," Mask interrupted, "I think something strange is going on. Weren't we supposed to be just going up to the third floor? How long have we been standing in this elevator, talking?"
At that, the elevator stopped moving and shuddered to a halt. The three nearly lost their balance at the suddenness of their stop. There was a dinging sound again, and the doors opened. Not onto the floor they were meant to be on, though, but instead to the grey wall of the elevator shaft.
"Oh, beautiful!" Axe Grind shouted. "Another thing I have to fix!"
He grabbed the cage doors of the elevator and pulled them closed again. Then, without warning, he balled his right hand into a fist and smashed it through the ceiling. At least, that's what it looked like at first. Shady soon realised that Axe Grind had just displaced a loose grate that was meant to be moved anyway, but for a moment there he'd thought that the minotaur had just punched through solid metal.
Axe Grind placed both hands on the edge of the opening and hoisted himself up. The hole was comparatively tiny, obviously designed for ponies, but somehow he managed to squeeze through without difficulty. Shady and Mask moved under the grate and looked up to see his face appear in the opening, staring down at them.
"You two stay there," he said, voice echoing through the shaft above. "I have to do work up here."
Then the grate closed.
"...Shady?" said Mask, turning to him.
"Yeah?"
"What are we even meant to do? Discord must have a reason for putting us through this, but I don't get how this is meant to reform us. What's the point?"
The elevator doors opened again, along with a block of grey concrete from the elevator shaft, this time to reveal Discord standing on the other side in a room identical to their elevator, and still in his fancy clothes from before.
"The point, my dear boy, is to teach you life lessons through experience, something which your parents obviously failed to do."
Mask grit his teeth and stepped forward, but Shady put a foreleg in his way to hold him back.
"Simply put, you have your reasons for being criminals, you have your justifications, and you have the excuse of never having been taught how a responsible citizen is supposed to act. Your time in the hotel is going to invalidate all of that. I look forward to seeing your resolve crumble as I strip all your rationalisations away."
Discord grabbed the side of the wall.
"Adieu, mes petits poneys."
With a flourish, he pulled the chunk of wall back over the opening again, covering it back up and leaving the two stallions alone in the elevator.
"...I really don't like him," Mask grumbled.
Just then, the ceiling grate opened back up, and an upside down minotaur hung down before them.
"Hey! Up here! Now!"
Shady couldn't see very well outside the elevator. The light from inside still poured up through the open grate, but it didn't help much. He could see the cables that connected the elevator to the top of the shaft, but they disappeared into the darkness somewhere above them. A little way up, he could almost make out some silver doors that likely led to one of the upper floors.
"We have a problem," Axe Grind said gravely. "There is another elevator blocking our way."
"Ahh... what?" said Shady, attempting to clear his ears.
"Another elevator. There is a second elevator in the shaft somewhere above us. I think the cable connected to this one is stuck between the other elevator and the wall of the shaft."
"I... Okay. Why is there another elevator in this shaft? Isn't there only supposed to be one?"
"That's what I thought as well, pony. But here we are."
"See?" said Mask. "Discord! This is definitely his doing!"
"That may be. But I need somepony to go up there and tell me what's wrong." Axe Grind turned to Shady. "You have wings. Go take a look for me."
Shady laughed.
"Ahaha. No. That's not my job."
"The alternative is being stuck in here until an engineer comes to get us."
"Aren't you the engineer?" said Mask.
Axe Grind crossed his arms.
"I'm the janitor. I fix some things, but mostly I just clean stuff. Elevator maintenance isn't my job either, but at least you won't have to scale the wall or climb up the cable."
Shady growled and threw his forehooves up as he rose into the air.
"Fine! I'll look at the damn thing! Do you at least have a flashlight? Something? Anything?"
"Sorry."
Still grumbling, he flew up into the darkness as instructed, leaving his companions behind, though he could still hear their muttering below him.
Although as a pegasus he could have raced straight to the top of the shaft if he wanted, it took Shady over five minutes to reach what he was looking for. The darkness was oppressive and all-encompassing, and he couldn't see his hoof in front of his face after a while, left with nothing but a little speck of light a long way below to show how far he was from his partner and the friendly minotaur who had been their only ally here so far.
Shady didn't want to bang his head against something he couldn't see, so he rose slowly, just a little bit at a time. He still didn't see the underside of the second elevator coming until he actually hit it, but at least he felt his wings brush against it first so that he knew it was there.
Okay. So what are you then?
Hovering in place, he began to run his hooves along the underside of the elevator. He was assuming that it was another elevator at least, because that's what Axe Grind seemed to think it was. Though, looking back on it, he didn't really have any idea what made him think that. Could minotaurs see in the dark?
Shady flew towards the centre of the shaft, trying to feel around for the cable that the lower elevator was suspended by. When he couldn't find it, he instead began flying around, feeling the walls to see if the cable pressed up against one of them. Sure enough, he found it, and followed it upwards to discover that Axe Grind was right, and that it was smooshed between the wall and the elevator above.
And just how am I supposed to get this out?
The other elevator had a grate in the ceiling that had allowed them to climb on top of it. How likely was it that there was one on the underside of this? Not very, he would have guessed. After all, what possible reason would somepony have to go below an elevator when it was suspended above a sheer drop? But there wasn't any other way he could think of to solve this, so Shady began searching for one.
His eyes widened in surprise as he put a hoof through a perfectly square hole in one corner of the elevator's floor. His hoof touched against something inside. It had a coarse texture, but it wasn't very solid, and didn't resist much when he pushed against it. Flying directly below the hole, he shoved upwards against it, and it gave way to reveal light from within.
Shady had to shield his eyes for a second, but looking up into it, he saw the roof of the same elevator he had been in before. He blinked, and then began pulling himself upwards through the hole. Climbing inside the elevator, he looked around some more. The material he had pushed through turned out to be carpet. That corner of the elevator had its floor missing, and it had just been carpeted over.
Why?
He looked around. On closer inspection, this elevator wasn't exactly like the previous one. There were some differences, like the layout of the buttons and the font for the floor numbers on the labels. The carpet was definitely new. That hole wasn't there in the other elevator, and he knew because he'd stood a hoof on that space before. And this elevator didn't have the cage doors, but instead a more modern set of steel ones that completely concealed the elevator from the shaft outside. They even looked like they'd been polished recently.
"Huh," he said to himself.
Out of curiosity, he pressed the open doors button to see if this elevator was trapped between levels too. To his good fortune, it instead opened into a corridor identical to the one he and Mask had initially been dropped in. He took a tentative step outside, looking around at the door numbers on this floor's rooms. They were all insanely high. Six digit numbers. Far too much for a building of this size. He wondered what floor he was even supposed to be on.
"Discord?" he called out. "What's going on here? Explain this!"
No answer.
"Damn it..."
It seemed all he could hope to do now was go back down and tell the other two what he'd found. Hopefully the janitor would have some idea of how to fix everything, because he didn't.
The doors of the elevator closed as Shady stood there pondering, and he gave a growl of frustration. Stepping over to the elevator again, he was just about to press his hoof against the button to open it back up, when a voice from behind him sounded out.
"Shady, don't."
He froze. Slowly looking over his shoulder, he saw the mare that the voice had come from. She was a pegasus, like him. Her coat was a butter yellow and her mane and tail were a deep purple. Both were long and naturally curly, but also starting to lose their luster and become frayed. She appeared to be in her early fifties, or late forties at best. Though she wasn't wearing glasses right now, a pair of reading spectacles hung from a chain around her neck.
Looking at her cutie mark, he saw that it was an image of an equine brain.
"Are you Dr. Lobe?" he asked.
She gave him a smile, but said nothing.
"...Why shouldn't I open the elevator?"
The mare looked off to the side, avoiding his gaze.
"You said it didn't end well."
"'I said?' As in, I said to you? You know my name, so... we've met before, right?"
The doctor looked back at him and nodded. He was beginning to notice that she wasn't the most talkative sort.
"Where did we meet?"
"Sunshine General Hospital. Discord threw you back there."
Shady's eyes widened.
"You know about Discord?"
"Lots of us do," she said softly. "You and Mask were around a lot in the old days. You kept trying to explain it all to us. Not everypony believed you, but... I can't say too much. You warned us about paradoxes. I don't think we can avoid them completely, but Mask said it could be dangerous considering... well, you know."
"Paradoxes..."
Now it was Shady who went quiet and looked away. He sat his rump down on the carpet and bowed his head, deep in thought. Discord had woven them into the history of this building. Already he was seeing the effects of something he'd clearly done in the future. His personal future. The past for her, a mare who he'd yet to properly meet, and yet who already knew him.
If he tried to avoid Discord's course and didn't meet her, then the timelines wouldn't match, and there would be a paradox. But if he did meet her, then wouldn't he be doing it only because he knew that he had to for this to occur? And if such a time loop were to happen, wouldn't that also be a paradox, only of a different kind?
A thought occurred to Shady that perhaps this was Discord's real goal here. What could be more chaotic than a time paradox? That was his element, wasn't it? Maybe this whole premise of a game he was playing with them was just an excuse to wreak havoc with time? Shady was just a career criminal, not a fancy unicorn scholar who knew anything about time or magic, but this sounded bad to him. If that was really Discord's plan here, then he had a clear goal now – to stop this madness before it got any worse.
The question was, which kind of paradox gave Discord more power? The one where the timeline stayed consistent, or the one where it was broken? Clearly in the timeline this mare had already lived through, he'd pressed that button and something bad had happened with the elevator, but both he and Mask had survived to try and warn her, trying to change the outcome...
His future self had wanted to change the timeline, so that meant... what, exactly?
Shady looked back to the button by the elevator.
"What happens if I press it?" he asked.
The smile disappeared from the mare's face.
"I... I'm really not allowed to say. You said I couldn't."
For a moment, Shady kept his eyes on the button, pondering what possible harm it could do to press it. Lobe was looking more and more worried with every second.
"Listen, uh... I think maybe you should just step away from the button for now... Come with me back to my room. We can discuss it a little more, and I can get us some coffee... You still like it black, right?"
The stallion finally tore his eyes away from the elevator.
"Oh. Uh... Sure. Lead the way."
Further below, Axe Grind and Robber Mask found themselves staring up into the elevator shaft. A little square of light broke the darkness somewhere above them, too far away to really see what it was coming from, and also too far to really make much of a difference. They were only slightly more illuminated than before; most of the light in the shaft still came through the ceiling grate from inside the elevator they were standing atop.
"What's going on up there?" asked Mask.
"I was right," the janitor replied. "Second elevator."
"But how did that happen? There's not supposed to be a second elevator, is there?"
Axe Grind shook his head.
"Then why is it there?"
"I don't know, pony. Perhaps it indeed has something to do with your claims that Discord now roams this place."
Mask looked up to the metal doors above them that would normally lead to one of the upper floors.
"Hey, do you think you could pull those doors up there open? Maybe we could get out? Find that engineer you mentioned?"
Axe Grind glanced up at it, looked back to Robber Mask, and shrugged.
"Worth a try."
He leapt into the air and grabbed onto the cable that the elevator was suspended by. With remarkable ease, he began shimmying up until he was level with the silver door, and threw himself off and against the wall of the elevator shaft. Mask winced as Axe Grind hit the door with a loud clang, but smiled as he stuck his fingers between the doors and began wrenching them open, letting another sliver of light into the elevator shaft.
"Hhhhhgggrrr..."
Finally, they flew all the way open as Axe Grind gave a triumphant roar. He turned around to face Mask again, his heroic figure silhouetted by the light from the corridor outside. The minotaur smiled and gave him a thumbs up, a gesture that Mask was sure meant something, though he didn't quite know what.
"Stay there, pony," said Axe Grind, preparing to jump back down. "I'll come help you up."
Just as he did, there was a sudden and ominous creaking above, and a groan of metal which echoed down through the shaft.
It became a scream as the other elevator began falling.
