> Slave to Awesomeness > by Corrupt Gnashty > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Leaving Earth > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 1: Leaving Earth I am Andrew Carmichael, your average 19 year old guy or at least what you can call an average guy in 2134 now-a-days. I like average things like playing video-games, hanging out with my friends and watching The Wonderbolts do what they do best, awesome stunts. I first discovered my love of watching the famous flyers four months ago, a week after we discovered their world. When humanity first ventured upon Equestria we immediately prepared for war, as it was second nature to us humans. Traveling across the galaxy we have made many allies but also a few enemies. When we discovered that the beings of Equestria wanted nothing but peace, we held a large peace party, of sorts. As a form of entertainment the monarchs of the beautiful land, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, decided to show off the skills of their kind with none other than the Wonderbolts. The peace meeting was broadcasted on live television so I got to see the performance. At first I was skeptical, expecting the show to be boring and dull but I was pleasantly surprised. They pulled of stunts that I couldn’t even fathom and having a love for free running and other such dangerous dare devil-y type of activities I immediately became a huge fan. At the time I was close to graduating high school, with only a few more final exams to endure. I had convinced my parents to let me visit this new world after my graduation but on one condition. I needed to get a job if I was to even have a hope of being allowed to venture the new and mysterious planet. Thankfully they trusted me enough to let my new found adventure be a solo one. As for my job dilemma, I had found an advertisement stating that a new Wonderbolt was going to be added to the team and with that, a new “maid” was needed to care of said Wonderbolt. I sent in my resume and I was told that I would need to attend Wonderbolt HQ with my other jobless competitors. Today was the day of my last exam and despite the extreme importance good grades were to me, my mind couldn’t help but have all my attention focused on becoming the best possible candidate for the job. I needed to make sure everything was perfect. Before I knew it, the test was over and it was only a few hours before I was to be sent off to Equestria. Thankfully the large space station city that I lived in was close to the new land of opportunity so it only took a three and a half hour ride ,on a rather crowded space-shuttle, to arrive at my destination. The locals, along with the help of some of our finest engineers, had built a rather large train station near Canterlot, equipped to send and receive space shuttles, so humans and ponies alike could travel to and from Earth or other various floating space cities. Usually only humans were ever in the station as most ponies and the other sentient beings decide to stay here. As I exited the building, a line of stallion drawn carriages eagerly waited outside for their next customer. I walked over to the nearest stallion and asked “Hey, how much would it cost to get from here to the Wonderbolts HQ?” He only laughed at me and said “You’ll want to turn the corner kid, cause you’ll need a pegasi carriage for that.” I smiled at him sheepishly and thanked him for his help. He waved to me as left in a hurry. Sure enough as I turned the corner of the building I saw two pegasi strapped on to a carriage. One of them, the taller of the two, gave me a warm smile and asked “Where would you like to go ,sir?” “Could you guys get me to the Wonderbolts H.Q?” “We can but you know you can’t just go and visit there, right?” he said with a slight smirk adorned on his face. “Oh, well I actually I’m here for the job interview.” “Oh, so you’re auditioning to be the Wonderbolts newest slave, hmm?” and with that his partner and him shared a soft laugh. “Hop on” he says, almost commanding me as if he were my slave master. “Is it really that bad?” I ask and he notices the slight desperate and depressed tone in my question. They take off into the sky and I can just barely hear him say, “You may be a slave but at least you’ll get paid, right?” His flying partner couldn’t take it anymore and burst out laughing causing the carriage to waver a bit, as if we had hit a rough patch of turbulence. He corrected the carriages flight path but both he and his partner still had a stupid grin etched on their faces. There was really nothing else I could do but hope that they were being dramatic so I tried to get some sleep. I drifted off into a light sleep only to be awakened with a sudden thud. As I wiped the sleep of my eyes I realized we were already here. I hopped of the carriage and paid them the amount due, with a little extra on account of their speediness and the fact that I didn't know if tips were customary in Equestria. The “slave master” looked at me and with a slight sarcastic tone and whispered “Good luck”. Before I could say anything else they flew off leaving me to gaze in awe at the doors to the Wonderbolts Head-quarters. I slowly made my way towards the door and before I opened it I whispered to myself, “I’m making a good decision, right?” As I pulled open the doors, I couldn’t stop my mouth from hanging agape at not only the immense size of the room that held the front desk but also the number of candidates that turned up to compete for the job position. As my eyes scanned the room I instantly got nervous due to the large number of people that looked way more qualified for the job than me. There were twenty different beings in the room in total (excluding the receptionist). Seventeen of the beings were ponies, sixteen of them peagsi and one earth pony who was wearing weird looking shoes. I recognized them as the electronic shoes that gave ponies without wings the ability to walk on clouds. For some reason, that has yet to be discovered, humans can walk on clouds just fine, depending on certain weights with certain clouds.They were all female and this worried me at first until I saw the other two beings were humans, a guy who looked to be in his early twenties and a girl who looked about as old me and both of them were sporting classy business suits. I was glad that I had decide to wear formal attire, seeing as my other competitors were as well. I was also glad I was not the only male candidate. The room was slightly segregated, with the ponies in one corner and the humans in the other. I decide to walk over to the humans. I was greeted with handshakes and a “Hey” from the guy and a pleasant “Hello!” from the girl. Before we could get further acquainted the receptionist at the front desk gave a polite cough and said “Miss Dash will be here shortly to start the interviewing process”. With that everyone attempted some form of making themselves look more presentable; the mares were trying to straighten their hair while the other humans and I tugged at our suits to remove possible wrinkles. After the odd cleaning session was through, I introduced myself to my fellow competitors. “Hi, I’m Andrew” I said with a smile on my face, trying to look and sound as friendly as possible. The girl nodded in response and said “Hi Andrew. It’s nice to meet you. I’m Chloe.” “And I’m John. Nice to meet you guys.” the man next to me said. I could tell from his tone that he was worried but I put that thought aside as a bell was heard behind us and I turned around to see a mare with rainbow pigmented hair. Her mane color came in streaks, like an actual rainbow. I dated a mare back when I lived on the space station. We were a good couple but we never got intimate, we just made out a lot, even though I did think that she was actually very beautiful. I didn’t exactly know if I wanted to get on to that level of intimacy with another species. It wasn’t uncommon for humans to fall in love with other species or even have children (and depending on the species, that child usually ends up normal looking) but I was still creeped out a bit at the thought but looking at this mare I was getting slightly turned on. From what I could see from where I was standing she had a nice smooth and well toned blue colored body and her eyes were large with pink irises that gave of a sexy sparkle which is what attracted me to my first mare-friend. I loved pony eyes, as creepy as that sounds. I could stare into my ex mare-friends eyes for hours as if I was lost in an ocean but when I looked the rainbow haired mare’s eyes I could feel a certain part of my body become less flaccid. I quickly averted my eyes to a potted plant as to prevent getting a hard on in front of the people in the room. The walking rainbow quickly looked us all over and said “Alright, if you couldn’t tell before, I’m Rainbow Dash. I know your all here for this job interview but before we begin I want to make sure everybody is clear on what they are signing up for.” Her voice was a bit raspy, as if she had a cold and it gave of a tomboyish tone, which to my surprise, turned me on even more. Was I getting a school boy crush on a pony that I haven’t even technically met yet? I decide to put my strange thoughts aside as she continued. “Well, just in case you guys don’t know, everything on the contract is dead serious.” She all glared at us with a smile and said “Especially the part where it says you have to be willing to do anything I say” She put a huge amount of emphasis on anything. All but two of us shook our heads to show that we understood.The two entities in the room that didn’t understand where John and the earth mare. “What do you mean by a-anything?” John managed to stutter out. At this point the receptionist that everybody had seemed to forget spoke up. “You will be expected to clean Miss Dash’s house, do chores such as shopping and cooking, if she requests it. You will also be expected to be her personal body guard at all times. It’s all in the contract” “Well…I can’t cook or fight so…sorry, but I guess I’m out” said the earth pony in a sad tone. Rainbow Dash nodded with a sad smile, forgiving the pony for her lack of necessary skill. “I can’t do it either. I thought that this job was just being a maid. I can’t fight to save my life. Sorry” Rainbow performed the same sad nod and both John and the earth pony walked out the door. That left the sixteen pegasi, Chloe and me. I smiled as I thought to myself; I’m in a room with eighteen girls at my disposal, alright! I quickly shook the idea out of my head as I realized this was not the best time to think about some crazy nineteen person orgy. Ms. Dash looked at us all. “Anyone else not feel up to the task of being my awesome maid/bodyguard?” Four more pegasi, who were apparently too scared to be the first ones to leave, soon evacuated the W.B’s HQ. With the remaining fourteen candidates left Rainbow gave us all another glance and pointed at a pegasus with a green coat and orange mane and said “You’ll be first.” The pegasus was lead off into the room from whence Ms. Dash came. Rainbow Dash poked her head out the door and back into the lobby. “You guys might want to sit down, cause I’m a bit picky when it comes to things like this” I find a seat and start to think about what I'm going to say. I look up at the clock and find out its 4:00 in the afternoon. Only an hour has passed. “This is going to be a long day” > Good Luck > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 2: Good Luck I’m still in the lobby along with 2 more pegasi and Chloe. Chloe and I have gotten to know each other a little better. I learned that she passed high school last year and instead of going to college she is taking a leap year and looking for work. I never really thought about it but I guess that’s what I’m doing. I also managed to figure out that she is nineteen and that she was born on a space station a few thousand miles away from Equestria. She has visited here before but this is her first time her alone. That is all she has told me so far and for some reason she has come to an awkward pause. I saw her move her head and open her mouth as if she had something to say but then she reclined inward and decided that silence was best at the time. It’s been about 5 minutes now and she hasn’t resumed talking. I can only imagine this is because I haven’t spoken a single word. If you couldn’t tell, talking to girls isn’t exactly what I would like to call one of my strong points. In fact when it came to talking to people that I didn’t know, I was usually a social cripple. I smile at myself for being so open and saying hello to her and John in the first place but I guess I have to start working on my social skills, especially here in Equestria. Everyone is so friendly and always willing to engage in a conversation. I don’t want to end up the only person (or pony…I guess) that won’t talk to people. Besides, I’m pretty sure it would be rude if I just stared at people (or ponies), waited for them to stop talking and then awkwardly walked away. I can see that my mind has wandered and I snap back into reality. I must have been thinking out loud because I whispered to myself (and really to anyone in earshot) “Gotta’ stay focused on pleasing my possible future boss” Chloe turned to me with a grin and said “Oh, so is that what you’re planning to do if you get hired?” It took a while for me to realize what she was trying to say and of course, me being the stupid shy guy that I am, I turned bright red as I thought about pleasing Rainbow Dash in such a manner. Chloe couldn’t help but burst out laughing at my sudden display of embarrassment. She must have been really surprised because after her laughing fit she gave me a worried look. “Hey, I was just joking. You know that right?” I just nodded my head and looked at the floor while shuffling my feet around. I can’t really blame her for making fun of me. I haven’t exactly been the most outgoing person and it was a pretty good opportunity especially with my odd choice of words, but I suppose it was for the best that I try not to get to know her too well as we are trying to compete for the same job. I had to keep things professional, no matter how badly I actually did want to laugh at her dirty joke. 10 minutes have passed and the previous candidate still had not left the interviewing room. I was noticing that with each interview, the sessions were becoming longer. Also the candidates body language after the interview would be more, frantic, for lack of a better word. The last pony that came out was physically shaking. At first this scared me but I was reassured when I remembered I had something to offer that my other competitors did not, immense physical strength or at least when compared to ponies. Also my fingers would be an advantage to help around the house but then again Chloe had fingers. Despite this revelation, my confidence decided to swell, seeing as I need it, but it did not grow to my full liking. I could pull this interview off as long as I don’t panic or do something I will regret. I just need to calm down and collect my thoughts. Once I do that I’ll be one step closer to being Rainbow Dash’s bodyguard...maid…person…maid-guard? While I was having a silent, but rather stupid, debate in my head as to what I was to tell people when they asked what I do for a living, the most recent interviewee stepped out of the room with Rainbow Dash in tow. She wasn’t shaking like the last mare but her eyes were red, it seemed that she had let her emotions slip during the interview. She made a valiant attempt at putting on a brave face but her red eyes hide no lies. I looked around the room and I could see that the other two pegasi and Chloe were obviously scared and to be honest, I was getting pretty anxious too. Ms. Dash pats the mare on the back, “Well, you’re a cool pony and all but you’re not what I was looking for. Sorry.” Again, I see that sad smile that she gave John and the other pegasi. The mare leaves, head hung low. Rainbow Dash looks around the room and points at one of the two mares in the corner with her hoof, “Umm…you’re up” The ponies give a worried look and one of them decides to speak up, “If you’ve turned Swift Wings down, then I’ve got no chance” she says as she turns towards the door. I realize that she was talking about the red eyed mare that had just left. Ms. Dash flies over to her and holds her hoof out in front of her before she could leave, “Are you sure? You don’t even wanna try and get the job?” The mare just looks up at her and moves her hoof out of the way, “Thanks but honesty, I was lying to myself when I came here. I didn’t really think I could get job the anyway.” Rainbow is obviously stressed and it was evident. Her face wrinkled in frustration as she closed her eyes, scrunched up her nose and moved out of the way so the distraught pegasus could leave, “Okay, thanks for coming anyway” she says with the slightest hint of sarcasm. She looks at the three remaining beings in the room and gives a sigh while planting a hoof on her face. I assume that was the equivalent of a face palm on Earth. I look up at the clock and she that she had good reason for such action. It’s 9:30 at night. I look outside and see that darkness has fallen giving the outside of the Wonderbolt’s HQ a dark and ominous look. How did I not notice how much time had gone by? Before I could berate myself for being so unaware the receptionist speaks up, “The night guard will be here in a couple of minutes. As for me, my shift ended 30 minutes ago. Good night Ms. Dash.” Rainbow removes her hoof from her face and puts on a smile, “Goodnight, Mrs. Scribe. See you in the morning.” “Bright and early Ms. Dash” she says before exiting the building. An awkward silence fell upon the room, a silence that I decided to break, seeing as today was apparently opposite day for me. “This might sound stupid” I said, directing my question at the tired Wonderbolt, “but you guys sleep here, right?” “Ya, we do. Why?” “Well, don’t all Wonderbolt employees have a room here?” “No, only the bodyguards/maids for the Wonderbolts do that.” I nodded in understanding. “But, does she live close by? I mean, it’s pretty dark out there.” “Ya, she does live close by and it is pretty dark out there. Speaking of which I really should be sleeping right about now so let’s get this over with.” The tiredness in her voice was obvious now and everyone in the room gave a collective yawn. “You guys early sleepers too, huh?” she says with a smile , again letting another yawn escape her mouth as she stretched out as Chloe and the other mare smile and nod in response. I took the opportunity to look at her sleek, toned body in her outfit and a certain part of my body decided that it wasn’t tired at all and tried to stand at attention. I tried to think of something less sexually appealing like an apple or something. Do I find her really that sexy? As if to answer my question, she trotted in a circle and faced her head away from me shaking out the yawn and in turn, causing me to get the perfect view of her rear. My little friend from down under reinforced his efforts and tried to become as hard as a brick wall. She turned around and looked at me, “How about you big guy, you tired?” She gives me an odd look. I realize that I’m just staring at her with an idiotic, toothy grin plastered across my face. I snap out of my state and try to muster an apology but sound fails to escape my mouth. She looks up at me, “Okay…then. I’ll take that as a yes” I manage to shake my head in agreement, my face feeling hot and I can tell that I am blushing. “Well, were all tired so let’s get this over with.” She exclaims with renewed vigor at the prospect of going to sleep. We all shake our heads as she points to the last pegasus. “Well, looks like you’re up then” The mare shivers a bit but puts on a smile as Rainbow Dash leads her to the interview room. Chloe and I look at each other and I can tell were both thinking the same thing. Good luck. > Naughty Thoughts > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 3: Naughty Thoughts I sat there with Chloe in the lobby silently gathering the last of my thoughts that I would need for the interview. In fact, it was so silent it seemed as if Death itself had silenced us and everything else in the room. Even the clock’s monotonous tick-tock or our slightly nervous breathing could not be heard over the silence. Sounds stupid, right? I mean how can silence be louder than something that is, well, not silent? Snapping back into reality, I realize that my facial expression must have been amusing somehow as I turned and saw Chloe looking at me, putting a hand over her mouth at a weak attempt to hide or stop her cute giggling. This effort was soon rendered useless as she burst out laughing, albeit still eyeing me curiously. I was glad that she broke the silence though, seeing that I couldn’t think of anything else I would need in the interview that was soon to come anyway. "What," I asked in a mock sad tone, “Do I really look that bad?” “No, it’s just that you look really worried.” “So you take pleasure in my suffering?” I muttered, continuing to feign sadness. “Not as much pleasure as you intended to give your new boss if you get the job, I assure you” she retorted with a smile as my face turned red, yet again. I gave her a cold stare and she laughed. Damn, she’s really good at doing that — both the cute laugh and making me blush. I decided to further push myself out of my anti-social shell by attempting to keep the conversation going. “So, why do you want to become a Wonderbolt’s maid anyway?” I asked trying to sound as genuine as possible and not in any way challenging. She looked at me, deep in thought. I took the time to study her more closely. She had light brown hair that seemed to complement her soft green eyes. Her cheek bones were quite high up on her face and her lips were small but robust. Did everyone have to be extremely good looking? While I was busy admiring yet another female, she decided that she had a reasonable answer “I didn’t really want to be a maid; it’s just that I needed money and this sounded like an easy and possibly fun job. What about you? You didn’t come to the interview just to get in bed with Rainbow Dash did you?” she said with that grin plastered on her face. Well, this is getting old quickly. “No,” I said trying to make it sound as sarcastic as possible “, to your surprise I didn’t come just to sleep with a Wonderbolt.” “So, you really are trying to screw her aren’t you?” she managed to laugh out. My expression quickly changed to one of annoyance. “Like I said before, that was a slip of the tongue.” Before I realized that she would take that sentence the wrong way as well, she muttered “Hey, I don’t want to know how you plan to please her.” I swear to God, I now know how a serial killer feels before they murder someone. She could obviously tell that I was not taking her jokes any better than before so she decided to switch topic. “So, why did you want to become her maid?” she asked drowning her tone in fake innocence. “Like I have mentioned several times before,” I gave her a cold stare, which she casually laughed off, “, I don’t really care which Wonderbolt I would serve if I got this job. I ,like you, need money and a place to stay and seeing that I am a pretty big fan of the W.B’s anyway I thought this would be the perfect job for me while I’m on my gap year. Besides, how could I turn down a chance at free food and rent, decent pay and hanging out with awesome flying stunt-ponies?” “Good point. So, you actually really want this job, huh?” she asked. “Umm…yeah I mean who wouldn’t?” I exclaimed, my voice adopting a curious tone. “Well, I hate to disappoint you but that’s gonna make it so much easier for me to ace the interview and take the job from you,” she said with a mocking tone. I stared at her, wondering how she got so competitive in less than a minute. She looked back at me before smiling and shaking her head, “Calm down, Andrew, I’m just joking around. Besides, I’m pretty sure you’re more qualified for this job then I am.” “How so? I have no work experience so I’m pretty sure it’s safe to safe to say that we're both equally unqualified for this job,” I muttered with a laugh. “Well, call me sexist but I’m sure that you would make a much better bodyguard than I would,” she said as looked up and down at my body. “Look at that, your checking me out and apparently I’m the sex craved pervert here.” We shared a laugh at my first actual comeback. As if reading my thoughts she smiled and said, “I’m still winning. Four to me, one to you my friend.” “No fair. You're way better with naughty things than I am,” I said, again realizing my mistake too late. “Oh, wouldn’t you like to know?” she said mustering a tone as sexy as she could manage. We both laughed at this, to the point where I almost fell out of my chair. Does my brain just make me say these things on purpose just to torture me? Before my brain could answer itself for its torturous crimes, the door to the hall that leads to the interview room opened. The mare that entered the room with Rainbow Dash came out, not in nearly as bad of a state as any of the previous candidates. She wasn’t shaking, crying or muttering to herself like any of the others were; in fact I would say that she was kind of happy with herself, if the smile she seemed to be displaying was evidence of anything. She looked at us both and said, “Good luck”. Before she left Ms. Dash called out, “I’ll have someone call you if you get the job,” The mare turned to her and nodded before exiting the building and taking flight into the night sky. Rainbow Dash turned to both of us, “So, which one of you wants to go first?” Chloe looked at me and giggled, obviously taking that question the dirty way, no doubt. I just looked at her and smiled while Rainbow looked at both of us. “Okay… you guys seem to be… interesting,” Dash managed to mutter out giving us an odd stare. This in turn only got Chloe to transform her giggling into a full out laugh. When she was done she looked at me, “You wanna give it a shot, lover boy?” she asked me teasingly. I gave her my ice cold stare which she countered with her warm, teasing laugh. “No, I’m good. Ladies first, I insist,” I said, again mustering as much sarcasm as possible. She smiled got up and did a mocking courtesy accompanied with a wink, “Oh, if you insist good sir.” We both laughed at this before Rainbow looked at us once again with that odd stare, ‘You know what? Scratch what I said before. You guys are just plain weird.” Of course this only made us laugh harder. Ms. Dash just looked at us and decided to share in our laughter while addressing Chloe, “Come on, I haven’t got all night.” I looked at Chloe and wished her luck as she was lead off into the interview room, leaving me with my thoughts, but, this time, leaving me alone with them. I tried to gather my thoughts for the storm that was sure to come in the interview room. I know I’ve messed up job interviews before when I was younger but I was passed that. This time I would know what to do and say. Besides, I really didn’t want to mess this chance up. Who knows when an opportunity like this would ever present itself again? My mind wandered to Chloe and how she was fairing right now. I sent her a silent prayer and hoped the best for her. While I was sending her my regards, I couldn’t help but think to myself that I was going to need this way more than she is. I looked up at the clock and realized it was one minute till midnight. “Well, crap. This has been a long night and it's going to be an even longer morning.” > Questions > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 4: Questions It’s been six minutes now since Chloe had started her interview. I know that I shouldn’t worry for her, seeing that we are competing for the same job and all, but I do. As one part of my mind worries for her the other, more prominent part of my mind, worries about me and what I’m going to say to Ms. Dash. That’s when I realized that I didn’t know how this interview was going to be played out. That’s when panic mode was apparently activated in my head. Will it be a one-sided conversation where I tell her everything or will she just ask me questions? What should I say? I’ve never worked for anyone in a full-time position before, so does that count being should be under-qualified? Do I really have to know how to fight? Why should I; who would target a Wonderbolt? Countless numbers of similar questions rushed through my head, although I admit some of them where pretty stupid. I could tell I was panicking but I couldn’t stop myself. I tried to shut off my mind or just stop thinking, but my subconscious seemed to think that was a bad idea. Every time I tried to calm down a new question would form in my mind, and the questions I did manage to answer were only to be replaced by new ones. “ARRGHHH!” I shouted out loud, much to my dismay. I need to stop before this panic attack gives me a heart attack! I looked up at the clock and another 5 minutes had passed me by. I got up and decided to walk outside, hoping that a breath of fresh air would clear my head. I step outside and take in the night sky and its beauties. Someone told me that one of the Princesses raises the moon and the other raises the Sun. I don’t know much about Equestria or any of its inhabitants but I’m pretty sure that two ponies don’t control the Sun and the Moon. Supposedly the princesses have both a horn and a pair of wings. I’m not sure if I can believe that either but, like I said, I don’t know much about this world. Of course this did nothing to help my anxiety. I probably should have read up on some stuff before deciding to just get a job in a new world. Well at least a world that is new to humanity. How old is this world anyway? Was it as old as Earth? How old were the Princesses? Looking up at the moon and realizing that it didn’t have my answers I decided to go back inside. Well at least I finally have seemed to calm down. I looked up at the clock. It was 1:15 in the morning. The sudden realization of the current time must have pulled a lever somewhere in my brain as I yawned and looked around the room. I know I should be preparing for the barrage of questions that was soon to come, but the last time I tried that it got me nowhere, so for now I kept my mind blank as I searched the room. Getting bored of this rather quickly, my mind wandered on to what I would do with my income, if I did get the job that is. There were lots of easily accessible bars and clubs situated near the Wonderbolt H.Q but I wasn’t much of a social person back on Earth. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against hanging out with people or even getting to know strangers at the aforementioned bars and clubs, but it just didn’t ever seem to hold much interest for me. Then again, this isn’t Earth. I could completely re-invent myself here. Of course, everyone has the opportunity to be a better person tomorrow, but I could go all the way. Change everything if I wanted. My style, my character, my walk. Hell, I could put on a different accent and no one would be the wiser. I could be the coolest kid on the block, so to speak. My amazing idea of becoming a new person fell to pieces, of course, as I remembered that I’m a terrible actor and that I wouldn’t know how to be anyone else but, well, me. I wasn’t really considering this anyway but it was nice to have the possibility. It gave me a small but much needed comfort. As I thought about the possibilities of what my future job could bring to my life, I wondered about what the job would really entail. Would I have a curfew? That would be annoying as hell and possibly even slightly embarrassing. I couldn’t help but wonder about the requirements of the job, as questions such as, “Why would a Wonderbolt need a bodyguard?” and “What exactly did it mean in the contract when it was stated that the employee had to do anything the employee’s superior, in this case Ms. Dash asked?” Then again, I really couldn’t care about any of that seeing that this would, no, scratch that, is the job opportunity of a life time, so I was too busy fantasizing about the wonders that this point in my life would bring. It seemed I was a mix of emotions right now as I went from anxiety and worry to happiness and joy about predicting my future. Speaking of worry, my mind yet again decided to dawn on that particular feeling as I realized that I could do everything asked of me except one thing: cook. That one word, the one attribute I was missing, seemed to cause my world of hope, happiness, and prosperity to crumble around me. How could I have forgotten that I couldn’t cook? And when I say that, I mean I literally couldn’t cook to save my life. I remember one particular incident where I tried to make some simple-ass Noodle in a Cup. I ended up burning half the cup, spilling the now burnt and blackened noodles all over the floor, and somehow managing to make the toaster short circuit. I chuckled to myself as I questioned how that was even possible. Maybe I’m just bad luck around the kitchen. I don’t mean to be sexist, but I bet Chloe was great in the kitchen. She could probably cook like a master chef. And that’s when it hit me. An insanely awesome idea that could help both me and a certain female out of our troubles. I can’t even express in words how happy and proud of myself I felt right now. The world’s largest smile adorned my face as I said out loud to no one in particular, “I’m a fucking genius.” > Problem Solved > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 5: Problem Solved As I sit here, waiting for my turn to impress the newest Wonderbolt, I try to think of how my plan, that I thought of five minutes ago, would work. What would I say to Ms. Dash? How would I propose such an idea to her? Would she even consider it? I don’t see why she wouldn’t. It’s not like the Wonderbolt’s couldn’t afford to pay for two salaries. Besides, two heads are better than one, right? Even with that particular thought in my mind questions still seemed to plague me. Would the other Wonderbolt’s be jealous of Ms. Dash if she had two caretakers? I don’t think that anyone on this team would stoop so low as to harbor jealousy but then again, I should not act is if I know anyone on the elite team of stunt pegasi. As my mind tried to come up with each and every question possible, I thought of one particular query. What if she didn’t like my idea and therefore saw both of as unfit specimens for the job? In theory she could just pick another candidate who could actually meet all of the required tasks. Then again, it seemed as if she had eliminated all the other interviewees. Maybe she had finally narrowed it down to two people even though she knew nothing about either of us. I suppose that she was just hoping that one of us would fit the necessary roles. Obviously, both Chloe and I don’t exactly fit. As cheesy as this may sound, we’re like two pieces of the puzzle that fit to form Rainbow’s maid. Okay, that sounds a little weird and it makes me think of us as some weird looking deformed creature that fits together to form a weird looking, but less deformed, human puzzle. Yeah, Chloe and I were like a human puzzle. I decided that it was best not to let my mind wander off to such creepy images and that I should probably focus on the task at hand: preparing for the interview. With my mind now more focused, more questions started to fill my mind. Would it actually even be possible for her to have both Chloe and I as her servants? I know that there is only one maid’s room in each of the Wonderbolt’s quarters, and that would be extremely awkward if Chloe and I had to share. I know that they won’t renovate an entire section of the head quarters just to fit in two people when only one person would be necessary. With this in mind, it is obvious that I have to convince Rainbow Dash that both Chloe and I would be better as a team. As I tried to think of ways to get Ms. Dash to see that neither Chloe nor I were completely useless, the doors that lead to the ‘interview’ hall opened. The tiredness was evident on both of the females' faces, and, as if on cue, both of them let out a yawn that seemed to go on forever as they walked past the doors and into the lobby. I could see that their eyes had bags under them due to the lack of sleep. Chloe’s posture was so low to the ground it seemed that the effects of gravity on Earth had tripled, at least for her. Rainbow Dash’s wings, which were normally folded, hung at an odd and uncomfortable looking angle, but she did not seem to care. They both dragged their feet as they each slowly made their way to a chair and plopped down. It was as if all their body parts besides their heads had gone to sleep. Why wasn’t I as tired as them? I looked up at the clock to see that it was currently 2:36. I hadn’t even realized that it was so late. I looked back to the two sitting in the lobby and Chloe gave me lazy smile with half lidded easy that threatened to close at any second. I looked over to Ms. Dash to see that she was already asleep, slumped on the chair. Chloe followed my eyes and saw that Rainbow was asleep and let out a small chuckle. She made no attempt to wake her up or even leave the building as she decided to follow in Ms. Dash’s footsteps. I sighed, got up and slowly crept over to where Ms. Dash was currently sleeping. I stood above her and slowly moved my finger to poke her in the shoulder. I got no response besides a shudder and a cute little snort. I poked her a few more times, but again I did little to wake her. I decided to go with a rougher, and hopefully more successful approach, of waking her by grabbing her shoulder and shaking her like she was in an earthquake. BIGGEST. FUCKING. MISTAKE. EVER. As soon as her beauty sleep was disturbed I got a quick and powerful backhand to the face. Luckily the blow had just missed my nose but instead split my lip. I fell to the floor, cursing like a sailor while holding my lip in utter pain. This hurt WAY more than it was supposed to. I looked up to see Ms. Dash standing over me, with her knees slightly bent in what I could recognize was a fighting stance. She looked down at me with her war face, ready to kill just about anything until she realized that it was me that she had just bitch slapped. Her face changed from one of rage to a caring, almost mother like face in an instant. “Oh-my-gosh,Oh-my-gosh,Oh-my-gosh! I am so sorry! I took a mixed martial arts classes a while, and now I snap in to defense mode every time I wake up roughly. Are you okay?” She extended her hand, pulled me up and rushed me into the ‘interview’ hall bathroom before I could respond. As I washed my face clean from the blood and applied a paper towel to my lip, she told me to wait here and left the room. Another question popped up into my head while I waited for her to return. If she took mixed martial arts and could be ready in almost an instant then why did her servant have to double as a bodyguard? Before I could answer my question, she came back with a First Aid kit. She took out a bottle of funny looking liquid, put it on the bathroom counter, and gave me a worried look. “What’s that?” I asked, worry lining my voice. I always hated that stinging sensation from antiseptics. “This will help heal your lip and kill any germs on it,” she muttered as she grabbed a paper towel and applied the liquid to the paper. I looked from the paper to her and backed away slightly. I know I was being a bit of a baby about this but it was kind of her fault anyway. “Come on it won’t hurt that bad,” she slid closer to me while holding out the now saturated paper towel. “Well, I wouldn’t even need it if you hadn't done this.” “Hey, I said I was sorry! Now let me fix it.” I took a step back and realized that I had my back to the while. Nowhere to run now. “Fine,” I sigh in defeat as she closes the distance and starts applying the liquid. It stung, but not as bad as I thought it would. “See, that wasn’t so hard right?” She says with a smile and turns around to toss the paper into the trashcan, only to miss. “Damn,” she walks forwards and bends over and I can’t help but notice the way that her flight suit tightly hugs her body and accentuates the curves on her flank. I quickly look away before I get caught staring at her. Again. “So we should probably get this over with before it gets too late, right?” I give a small nod and she leads me out of the bathroom and down the hall to what I can only assume is the interview room. We get into the room and as we both grab a seat she starts to open her mouth but I stop her by raising my hand. She gives me a curious look but keeps quiet for now. “So, I just wanna make this clear, but you’ve rejected everyone besides Chloe and myself so far, right?” “Umm…yeah, no one else really had what I was looking for.” “But wasn’t the only reason that we all got this far because we fit the requirements on the list?” She could see the confusion on my face quite clearly. “Oh yeah, the requirements,” she said with a little chuckle, “The only reason that the list was there was because Spits had suggested that I use it to stop idiots from signing up. Why would a maid need requirements? It’s not exactly a difficult job, and as for the bodyguard part, you can see that I’ve got that covered,” she said and pointed to my lip. We both shared a laugh which helped to ease the tension that I was currently feeling in the room. Silence fell upon the room as I thought of a way to propose the idea of Chloe and I being a team. Well, might as well get it over with. “Umm… I have a question” “Sure… shoot.” “Well, it’s more of a proposal. Even though you aren’t really using the list, I still assume you need a person who can cook for you,” she gave a small nod. “Well… see the thing is… ,” she cut me off before I could finish. “You can’t cook can you?” I nodded looking down at my feet like a child who was being punished as she continued, “but Chloe can.” Before she could speak, I cut her off in turn, “Yes, so I was wondering if both Chloe and I could work for you?” I quickly turned my head to the side and flinched as if I expected her to hit me, yet again. I slowly opened my eyes and turned to her to see her looking off into space, obviously deep in thought. We sat in silence for a few minutes before she finally turned to me with a smile on her face. “I guess that seems like a good enough idea. Two heads are better than one, right?” I nodded extremely quickly, a grin also plastered on my face. “Besides I’m pretty messy. I could use two maids,” she said with a laugh as she stood up and left the room. When we got back to the lobby, where Chloe was still sleeping, she turned around and shook my hand, “Well, it looks like you two got the job,” She looked to Chloe and laughed, “For now you guys should just pick a room and get to sleep. Work starts tomorrow at 8:30," with that being said she went to a hallway opposite the ‘interview’ hallway and off to a room with a bed. I sat down and looked at the clock. It was 3:12. I contemplated between carrying Chloe to a room, and possibly having the awkward situation of her waking up in my arms, or just sleeping here in the lobby. Well, I’m lazy and the chair I’m sitting on now feels pretty comfortable. > A House Warming Gift > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Slave to Awesomeness Chapter 6:A House Warming Gift I awoke to the feeling of someone shaking my shoulder, much like I had tried to wake up Ms. Dash. I just stayed still, trying to get some extra time of glorious unconsciousness. I realized that before, referring to her as such made me feel kind of odd but now it seemed fine. In fact, it sounded professional and that’s what I needed to sound like. After all, I was officially a fully fledged member of the labor force now. I smirked mentally at my parents first assumptions that I wouldn’t be able to find employment. Hah! I guess they owe me an apology. Then again I can’t exactly imagine my parents being proud of my current job, least of all my father, but this was what I needed. A nice and steady entry level job because that’s where I was at now. The entry point into the real world, as it were. Besides, I did plan on going to college sometime in the future and having a job would look good on my application with the experience and what not. I could envision it now, the person interviewing me would be so impressed that they would only agree with my decision to study to become an anesthesiologist. That would have to wait though as I was once again shaken. This time whoever was disturbing me knew I was awake now. “Mister Carmichael? I could tell by her voice that it was the receptionist. Mrs. Scribe, I think her name was. “Are you awake?” I give her a slight grumble in response and straightened up in the chair I was sleeping in. “Um, yeah, hey.” She shakes her head and looks down at me with a smirk. “Sleeping in the lobby, on your first day no less, like some drunk colt who couldn’t remember where his house was? Impressive indeed, Mister Carmichael.” That got a reaction out of me as I bolted up, wide awake now. “Um, well you see…” Before I could come up with a good enough excuse to explain my hobo-esque manner, she cut me off with what I realized was a good natured chuckle. “Not to worry Mister Carmichael. I am well aware that Ms. Dash was going to be up quite late tonight, interviewing you all.” She gave me an understanding smile before she continued, “How did it go? Seeing as you are the only pony, I mean, um, person standing I can assume you that it was in your favor?” I smile and point back at Chloe who was in a chair not too far off from us. “I’m not the only one who got lucky. We both got the job.” That seems to give her pause as she looks between Chloe and I a few times, trying to think of why there were two of us here. “What?” is all she manages to say. “Well, we both didn’t fit the full requirements so we decide to ask her if we could come as a two-part package. She seemed to agree” “You know that each Wonderbolt’s quarters come with only one maid’s room right?” “Yeah, I know but we’ll work something out. I’m sure I can sleep somewhere else, on the couch if really necessary.” She got a devious smile on her face, which worried me slightly, and accompanied those eyes that were much larger and so much cuter than a humans and you had one sexy looking receptionist. “Work something out mmhhh? You know that sleeping with co-workers is against the rules, right Mister Carmichael?” Why was everyone on this damned planet so obsessed with sex?! Any normal guy would either laugh or say something suggestive but, that’s right, you guessed it, I just stood there with my mouth open and my face getting progressively redder by the second. At this point I was probably going to go into cardiac arrest. As I stood there, staring at her dumbfounded and surprised that she would just break her professionalism so easily for a little fun, she put a hand on my shoulder and burst out laughing much like Chloe and I had in front of Ms. Dash. When she was done, she looked up at me with that that smile, “But rules are meant to be broken after all, aren’t they?” This actually got a chuckle out of me. The chuckle turned into a full blown laugh and soon enough, she was laughing along with me. As the hilarity of the conversation died off, we heard some movement to the right of us. I looked over to see Chloe shuffling about in her impromptu sleeping place, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes and stretching her arms and legs in an effort to shake off the inviting embrace of rest. The way her shirt got tighter and tighter around her torso the more she stretched was certainly noticeable. Not like I was blatantly staring at her chest or anything. Mrs. Scribe caught me looking at Chloe and the in a split second that annoyingly sexy and somehow smug smile was all over her face. God, this planet was doing something to corrupt me because I’m usually not so prone to glancing at women. I was never innocent; I mean I was a teenage male after all, but seriously. I mean come on, I never thought I would be thinking that a married woman’s, or pony’s in this case, smile would be something I’d describe as sexy. Between all the sex innuendos and all the good looking people and ponies around me, it felt like I was hitting puberty again, only this time surrounded by some of the most beautiful beings I’ve ever seen. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen one bad looking pony or person sense I’ve gotten here. Not even one that could be described as average, let alone anyway under that mark. Every single mare (and stallion for that matter) was at least a solid seven. Snapping out of my admittedly appealing thoughts I could see that Chloe was beginning to get out of her chair. With one final yawn she opened her eyes and looked directly at me. “Well, someone looks ready to tackle the day.” “Um, thanks. I guess” came my awkward reply. She just did that laugh that seemed to spread joy to those who heard it. Well, at least to me. “What time is it anyway?” Mrs. Scribe looks to the clock with a sense of trepidation present on her face, “8:23, almost time for work kids”. She gives us both a smile and waves to the chairs. “You might as well take a seat. I believe Ms. Rainbow will be here at any moment.” You nod to her and take a seat as you notice her change in mood and posture. She adorned a slightly posh accent and her shoulders and back were straight. I’ve realized that I didn’t notice these things disappear before during our casual talk. It seems that she could let her mane down after all. Chloe took her seat next to me and let out a sigh, “You ready for this?” I turn to her a give her a nod, “As ready as I’ll ever be. It can’t be that bad be right? I mean it’s our first day and we’re maids. I’m sure we’ll just be doing basic everyday things anyway.” She nodded to me and then turned to look out the nearby window. The sun hit her face and made her hair shine. By now Mrs. Scribe was at behind the receptionist desk and I looked over to and saw that she had caught me staring. She gave me that smile and added a waggle of the eyebrows, just to tease me further. I stuck out my tongue at her and made a face. I wasn’t looking at anything lewd. It was the back of her head for fucks sake! She just chuckled and put her tongue between two of her fingers and somehow, smiled even more deviously than before. And there we go again; I’m frozen and as red as a tomato. She tries her best to mute her laughter with her hand. After a few minutes I had recovered and looking at the clock, I could see that it was going to be 8:30 in a few seconds. I mentally and physically prepared myself for my new boss to walk out of the interview hall. I was instead greeted with the sight of the Wonderbolt’s team Capitan, Spitfire. “What was my time, Elegant?” she says with a challenging smile on her face. It took me a while to realize that the question was directed at Mrs. Scribe. Huh, Elegant Scribe. It was a good name. It suited her pretty well in my opinion. Think about this brought up a point that still me. How did ponies name their kids when they were born? From my understanding, ponies aren’t born with their ass tattoos or more proper name, Cutie marks, yet these symbols have been recorded to always be in line with their name and what that pony will do for a living or in the future. While some names didn’t follow their lives and Cutie marks to the specific detail there was always the relevant semblance between pony and Cutie mark. I would have to do some research up on it later. “You missed it by 7 seconds Spitfire.” Elegant informed her. “Darn, maybe tomorrow” she almost whispered in a cheerful manner. Elegant just shook her head and laughed. “These are Ms. Dash’s new maids, Spitfire.” she said as she pointed to Chloe and I. She turned her head and gave us a smile and wave and then did a double take, “Wait, two of them?” “Yes, Ms. Dash deemed it fit that she would need two maids. From my understanding, none of the candidates fit the requirement list entirely so these two decided to pool their efforts together and become a team of sorts, or a duo I suppose. I hope Ms. Dash did not break any violations in hiring two people for the job.” “Oh no, its fine. Just didn’t expect it was all.” She comes over to shake our hands and introduce herself. “Hey, I’m Spitfire, Capitan of the Wonderbolt’s. On behalf of the entire staff I would like to welcome you aboard.” Her smile was genuine and her handshake was firm and commanding. Two contrasting greetings if I’ve ever seen one. “Hey, I’m Chloe O’Neill” and before I can get a chance to introduce myself, she does for me, “and this is Andrew Carmichael” “Well, like I said, welcome aboard. If you guys need anything or if Rainbow pushes you guys around to hard just give me a holler, a’ight?” Chloe laughs and thanks her while I just smile and nod. “Well I gotta start training. You guys have a good day, kay? That goes for you too Elegant.” “And too you too Spitfire,” she says with a distinct cool tone of voice. As Spitfire leaves to go to the training grounds, I can see Chloe positively gleaming about something. “What’s got you so excited all of a sudden?” She turns to me with a smirk of evil incarnate adorned on her face whispers, in what I assume was meant to be a demonic voice, “Now I’ve got someone to tattle-tale our new boss on.” “Being a tattle-tale, really? I’d have expected better from you Miss O’Neill,” the slightest hint of a playful tone in my voice. “Pffff, whatever Carmichael. It’s just job security,” she states matter of-factly. “How so?” “Sweet, sweet blackmail.” I just laugh and shake my head in mock disappointment. “Whatever am I going to do with you, young lady?” “Whatever you want with me, killer,” she says in a sultry voice, putting her index finger on my lips. My deadpan stare doesn’t discourage her in the slightest. “Just watch out though, Rainbow might get jealous.” You know what I ain’t even mad. I burst out laughing and she soon joined in. Elegant just looked at us oddly from her desk before chuckling and getting back to work. Speaking of work, where was Ms. Dash? Looking at the clock told me it was 8:40 now and there was still no sign of her. Speak of the devil and he shall appear. She and another Wonderbolt, Soarin’ burst into the reception area. “Aw, crap I’m 10 minutes late. Spits is gonna kill me” Soarin’ muttered in despair, trying to pull on one of his boots and walk to the training grounds door at the same time. “Spitfire is at the training grounds now Soarin’. You best hurry up.” was Elegant’s response to him. “Thanks Elli.” He looks over to Chloe and I, sitting in our chairs. “Oh hey new guys! I’m Soarin’, can’t talk right now, see you later.” Not a moment after and he is through the door. He didn’t seem to notice or care that the position was now filled by two people. Either way, I’m sure I would get to met him later. Rainbow Dash just chuckles and then looks us over. “Why you guys so wrinkly?” I looked to my suit and realized that it was covered with creases from sleeping in it. I looked over to Chloe and her clothes were in no better state. “Whatever,” she states as she shrugs. “Sorry ‘bout being late, just forgot to turn on my alarm.” “Not a problem,” we both say in perfect unison. “O…kay. Not weird at all. You guys are a team and all but you don’t have to talk like that.” “It wasn’t intentional Ms. Dash,” I tell her, almost apologetically. She smiles “No problem. And you don’t have to calm me Ms. Dash. Actually, don’t. At all.” Chloe and I nod understandingly and get up as she motions for us to come with her. She leads us down the interview hall towards her room. “Did you guys sleep in that room?” she asks, looking back at us. “Um, yeah kind of.” Chloe responds awkwardly. “You know that there are chairs in any of the rooms, if you like sleeping on those so much,” she states with a laugh. “Oh, Chloe was already asleep and I was basically there. And carrying her would have been a potentially awkward situation.” I flash Chloe an apologetic smile. She just smiles back in return. “You just didn’t want to get caught out on your first day, did you lover boy?” she says, obviously bring up Chloe’s comment from last night. This time, it’s me who laughs first and I can see Chloe visibly stutter out of the corner of my eye. I quickly pick up on Rainbow’s joke, “Oh, she was all but throwing herself at me last night. I had to be somewhere public just to dissuade her from mounting me like an animal!” I state in classic damsel in distress voice. I fan myself with my hand, the perfect finishing touch. Chloe punches me in the shoulder and gives me glare that I’ve given her many a time since we’ve met. Rainbow and I just laugh at her embarrassed and admittedly cute expression. “You guys really are a weird couple, aren’t you?” Rainbow asks, obviously rhetorical. Wait…what? Couple? You look to Chloe and find she is just as confused as you are, if not, more so. Before either of us can correct Rainbow were at her quarters. “This here is my place,” she sweeps her hand across the view of the place. Marble floors and walls and everything is white or grey. A sense of pride fills her as she says “Designed this bad boy myself. Anyway, moving on.” She walks up the marble steps that lead to the first floor and takes a down a hallway into a room with two beds, a bathroom and a spacious closet. The floors and walls were still marble. From here on in, I could assume that her quarters were basically coated in marble, on the inside at least. “This is your room guys. I guess you can find the kitchen and the other things later on by yourself, right?” We both nod an affirmative and she continues with the tour. When we get to a room with a poster of her on the door, I can guess who the room belongs to. Before we go in she stops and looks to us, “I guess you can see that this is my room. I’ve gotta go to practice really soon and when I come back it would be really cool if you guys could clean it up for me.” With that she opens the door and Hell is unleashed upon my soul. The first thing I notice is the smell. It’s like sweat and vomit had a love child. The room is pretty much trashed with clothes and bits of food and other things lying about. Her laundry basket is filled to the brim. We step inside and look into her bathroom to survey the damages. My feet meet water that was probably from a shower she had this morning. The sink is dotted in some kind of fungus and a tooth brush is in the shower. Not to mention that there are globs of toothpaste on the mirror. I exit the bathroom and look at her with a disbelieving stare. I liked being clean and I wasn’t exactly a clean freak but this was a violation of our most basic human rights. She wanted us to clean this up?! As if reading my mind, she gave me her best apologetic smile and a nervous laugh while wringing her hands together. Her eyes had widen in size and she swayed about on the tips of her feet. Meanwhile Chloe just came out of the bathroom, probably with a case of PTSD. “Heh, well I told you I was messy…” I just nodded. “Do you think you can just this done by the end of the day?” I couldn’t even answer that. Chloe came to my rescue though. With shaky breath, she muttered and answers “Uh, y-yeah. We got this, right Andrew?” I just looked at her incredulously. “Ohreally?Cleaingstuffisunderthesinkandyoucantakeaslongasyouneed.Thanksguysyourthebest.Bye!” One rushed jumbled sentence and she was out the door in a dash. I couldn’t even appreciate the pun. I feel Chloe grab my shoulder and turn me towards her, “Well, shit.” Again, it seems that I will remain mute as I just nod. “Well, the faster we start ,the faster we’re done.” I sigh and head off into the bathroom to gather cleaning supplies with her.