> Reformed Romanticism
>  by ice_dancer_92
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Howlin' at the Moon
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reformed Romanticism

Chapter One: Howlin' at the Moon

I slowly made my way around the all-too-familiar castle, re-learning every inch of stone and tile and glass. Things had changed so much since that throne was mine, and yet things had stayed so much the same. Tch, isn't that just like a creature of Order to... no. I mustn't think like that anymore. I'm not that creature anymore. I can't be. My... friends would be upset. I can't disappoint them now. 

I shook myself out of my thoughts and kept floating around, noting with a pang of regret how the royal guards stationed around the castle kept their wary and somewhat suspicious eyes on me as I passed by them. They stared at me as I flew through the castle, as if waiting for me to screw something up so they have a valid excuse to openly hate and revile me. Their stares burned. It felt like a thousand white-hot needles in my heart. I averted my gaze from them, but I could still feel their cold eyes on me.  It felt horrible. I hadn't felt like this since.... Stop that train of thought right now, you. Don't go back there. It won't end well. 

I chastised the voice in my head and told it to shut up. Why? Why should we stop? You want to remember? Go ahead and remember! 

And suddenly all those memories came flooding back to me, memories I thought I had gotten rid of long ago. The suddenness of them was so paralyzing that I fell to the cobblestone floor of the castle, my wings wrapped tightly to my sides, unable to open and take flight. 

'I... I've been watching you for a while, and I--'

'You've been WHAT?'

'I-I-I'm sorry! I just think that you're so, so beautiful, and--'

'Get away from me, you horrible creature! I'll have nothing to do with a stalker, let alone a lumbering mix-and-match monster like you! I'm a Princess, not a common whore!'

My legs turned to jelly beneath me, and I stumbled backwards against something hard and low to the ground, tripping me up and sending my limbs flailing for grip onto nothingness. My head impacted solid stone, and then the world went black. 

I awoke to the throbbing, stinging sensation in my skull, and the odd soothing feeling of the wound being dressed by gentle means. I blinked and groaned until my vision came into focus. 

“Wha...What?” I muttered. “What happened?” 

“A few of the guards found you collapsed against the base of my throne, bleeding from the head. You were unconscious. Are you alright, Discord?” 

Her voice was like fresh fallen snow in winter, scented with the sweet lavender-berries of the summer harvest. It sent a chill down my serpentine spine. 

“I'm... fine.” I answered thickly. It felt like my mouth and throat were filled with cotton. “Never better.” 

“Discord, you and I both know you're a terrible liar.” 

“I'm also terrible at a few other things, too. Why should this be any different?” I answered darkly, managing somehow to force my upper body back upright. But as soon as I did, a wave of lightheadedness and nausea overcame me, and I collapsed back down into a crumpled heap on the bed. 

“No, no, no, Discord. Don't try to get up now. You took a nasty blow to the head earlier. I don't want you to do permanent damage to yourself on my account.” 

“You used to want that, once.” I blurted, almost stupidly. 

“W-What?” 

“You don't remember? Surprising. I remember it clearly. You throwing my bouquet to the ground, kicking me down alongside it, and telling me that I was nothing more than a monster to you. You had such malice in your voice back then. I wonder... where did all that hate go?” I said sarcastically, glaring daggers at the princess who had spurned me so long ago. 

Celestia blinked at me, surprised at my outburst. “That was a long time ago, Discord, and I don't feel the same way I did back then--” 

“--It doesn't seem that long to me--” I interrupted.

“--It was thousands of years ago, I've grown since then--”

“--Well, maybe I haven't.” I growled cryptically, before managing to force the lightheaded feeling and the nausea back by sheer force of will as I got up and wobbled away, nursing my injured cranium with my paw. 

“...Discord...” I faintly heard her whisper as I left. I flicked the bedroom door shut with my tail, slamming it and shutting the dejected Princess inside. 

'Leave me alone! I thought I made it clear I did not wish to associate with such a beast as you.'

'Please, let me explain myself, I just--'

'Leave, now! Or I call the guards! I don't know how to make it any clearer than that! I. Do. Not. Like. You!'

'But why? Why am I so detestable?'

'You're nothing but a monster. You're below me in every way.'

Almost immediately, I fell to my knees with my paw over my mouth, trying desperately not to vomit. It felt as if all my innards were trying to escape through my mouth. My vision went blurry, and I managed to drag myself to a restroom through sheer muscle memory. 

Retching up everything I'd eaten in the last thousand years, I clamped my mismatched palms to my skull and tried to get the horrific burning in my skull to subside. A thousand burning nails in my skull... I was definitely concussed, and apparently badly. 

Through the haze of suffering, I could barely make out the faint clip-clop of golden hooves on the cobblestones, and the last thing I saw before passing out again was the shimmering pastel shades of sunshine hovering over my eyes as Celestia bent her head to mine. 

Awaking once more in the bedroom I had left earlier in a huff, I sighed in defeat. “Are you going to listen and stay put this time, Discord?” 

“Fine, Celestia, you royal brat. You win. I'm too exhausted to argue. Are you happy? You've pinned me into a corner again. Aren't you pleased with yourself?” I spat, wisps of smoke beginning to waft from my nostrils. 

“I take no pleasure in seeing my friends in pain.” Celestia answered simply. “That doesn't even make sense, Discord.”
“What's the fun in making sense?” I snapped spitefully. “And since when have I ever been your friend? From my recollection, you've never seen me as anything less than a nuisance. Nothing more than a villain.” 

“What is wrong with you, Discord? This isn't the Discord I remember. I remember a soul full of mischief and half-baked schemes of merriment in chaos. What's happened to you to make you so dour?” Celestia asked me, silky concern in her voice. 

I relented inwardly that she was right. This wasn't me. This was the Discord still reeling from having his heart shattered into pieces, all those eons ago. Where did all this sorrow come from? 

I sighed and tried to think of something happier, something less traumatic. 

Fluttershy. Fluttershy befriended me when no one else ever had. She took me into her home and showed me that I am worth something more than chaos and disharmony. I could be something more. She gave me the faith and the hope I needed to reform myself and give myself a higher purpose in life. She was dearer to me than anyone, and maybe that thought terrified me a little. Me, Discord, the spirit of chaos and disharmony, was absolutely petrified by the thought that I had let someone so close to me, and that someone had wormed their way into my chaotic, stony, ancient heart and tugged at the strings until I bent to their will like a dog broken by my master. 

I think what was more terrifying, however, was the fact that I did not object to being under Fluttershy's thumb. I wanted to make her proud of me. I wanted to be owned. I wanted to be taken and controlled. I had never wanted anything like that before. That was the most frightening aspect of it all, and part of me wondered if Fluttershy knew that, or if she at all understood why I felt the way I did. I hoped she knew, because I certainly couldn't figure it out.

“...Fluttershy...” I accidentally mumbled out loud. Celestia's attention was caught and she turned her sparkling eye towards me. 

“What was that?” She asked. “Did you say something, Discord?” 

“....I want to see Fluttershy.” I stated, a hot flush filling my cheeks as I deliberately avoided Celestia's gaze. Just hearing myself say Fluttershy's name sent a strange heat coursing into the pit of my stomach. 

“Fluttershy? Where did this come from, Discord?” Celestia asked. 

“It... It's nothing, I just want to talk to my friend, is that so strange? You're the one that's always preaching about the magic of friendship. Well, I want to practice that magic. I'm going to go see Fluttershy.” I tried to get up from the bed, but was gently coaxed back down by Celestia's golden-clad hoof. 

“You're not going anywhere until you recover from your concussion, Discord. You nearly bashed your own brains out. I'll ask Twilight Sparkle to send Fluttershy here.” Celestia compromised, as she magically levitated a quill and a scroll of parchment towards her. 

My faithful student, Twilight Sparkle

Things are going a bit rocky with Discord. He's been suffering recently from frequent bouts of dizziness and one of these dizzy spells sent him careening into the base of my throne and caused a nasty concussion. I have him strictly on bed rest until he recovers, but he's requested a visit from your friend Fluttershy. He's actually being fairly defensive about the matter, but he's too injured to be any sort of danger, so I've decided to grant his request and ask you to send Fluttershy along to say hello and maybe try to help nurse him back to health. Granted, Discord isn't exactly a small forest creature, but Fluttershy should still be able to at least lift Discord's recent dour mood. If she's available, please send her along. 

Sincerely, Princess Celestia

PS) See if Fluttershy can get any information out of him about his recent dizzy spells.  I can't seem to pinpoint where they're coming from, but I believe they're psychological somehow. 

Celestia sent the letter off and waited for a response. A letter born in green flame burst out of the air about half an hour later. Half an hour of awkward, uncomfortable silence I'll be happy to never get back. 

Dear Princess Celestia,

Fluttershy's excited at the prospect of coming to Canterlot to see Discord. She'll be along in an hour or so, once she's done with feeding her chickens and I'm able to teleport her to the gate. It's faster than the train. I've asked her about getting the info out of Discord, and she says she'll do what she can but there are no guarantees. As much as I don't like him, I hope Discord will be okay. That sounded like a nasty injury you were talking about, and even a being of chaos and disharmony isn't immune to a blow to the head. 

Your loyal subject, Twilight 

“Fluttershy's very timid.” I noted. “There's no way she'll get past the guards at the gate. All they have to do is look at her sideways and she'll take off running.” 

“I know. I'll see her in myself. You are to stay put, Discord. Don't go wandering away. You're injured and you need your rest. Do you understand me?” Celestia commanded. 

I huffed, but her logic was infallible. “Fine. I'll be here.” 

“Good. I'll see you in a bit.” Celestia stood up and walked out the door. 

Almost immediately, my vision blurred and another nasty little flashback forced its poison thorns into my skull. 

'You've committed unspeakable crimes, Discord, and for that you must be punished.'

'You nasty little whelp! You were just waiting for an excuse to use your shiny little Elements on me, weren't you?'

'In the name of noble Equestria, we call upon thee, the Elements of Harmony!' 

'No! No! My chaos! MY BEAUTIFUL CHAOS! Stop! Aaaaaahhhhhh...!!!!!!'

I thrashed and screamed in the bed, my tail lashing out wildly around me. In the throes of my nightmare, I didn't hear the door to my resting place open once more. 

However, I felt my powerful, sharp-scale-coated tail strike a soft object, and I heard the scream that ensued. 

“Discord! Stop! Discord, calm down! Fluttershy! Fluttershy, are you alright?” I vaguely heard Celestia shout, though it sounded as though her voice was through water. 

Slowly my vision and my senses returned and my tail stopped moving. I looked to the side, and there was my Fluttershy, shivering and crying on her knees, bleeding on the tile floor. 

“Oh... Oh, my.... I-I-I....” I couldn't even speak. The heat in my stomach froze into ice in my veins. “I'm so sorry.” I managed to choke out. “Fluttershy, I-I-I never meant to bring harm to you--” 

Fluttershy lifted her graceful head. She was still sniffling and tears were still flowing down her face, and one of her soft, pale cheeks was marred with a nasty gash that was oozing blood down her neck. “It... It's okay, Discord.... I know you... sniff.... I know you didn't mean it....” she squeaked, though she didn't sound very convincing. 

“I... I honestly... I don't know what just happened.... I can't control myself anymore!” I was almost crying myself at the sight of my dear Fluttershy curled in a ball and injured from what I had done. “Celestia, help me!” 

Celestia was stunned into silence. I had asked for help. Begged her for help. “I... I don't know what I can do.” She finally half-rasped. 

“Celestia, the flashbacks are doing this! I'm not just getting dizzy and falling down! I'm paralyzed by the visions in my head! Visions of what I've done in the past! They're blinding me! I can't control my body! Help me!” I pleaded, tears flowing freely down my cheeks. When Celestia did nothing but stammer for a moment, I cried out in frustration and dragged myself to the floor, slithering towards my dear Fluttershy. 

She squealed in fear of my touch. It very nearly broke my heart. “Shh... Shh, Fluttershy, I won't hurt you again. I swear to you, I won't hurt you again. Please, let me help you. Let me... Let me help you.” I sniffled, and she looked into my eyes. Hers were shimmering with fresh tears, but I knew she saw the sincerity in mine. She crawled towards me and nestled herself in the crook of my lion's arm. I held her there, consoling her, and wrapped my serpentine body around her in a ring of anguish. The ice in my veins burned once more and shot towards my stomach. 

It was sickening, but in a way, wonderful. I couldn't tell if I wanted to throw up or not. I ran my claw gently over each of Fluttershy's wounds, and my innate chaotic magic bent to my will. Each gash and bruise closed before my eyes, healing her by reversing time's clock onto those particular areas. I can do that, you know. I can manipulate the fabric of time. It's an agent of Chaos' duty. 

“Shh, shh, it's okay, Fluttershy. It's alright. I'm sorry.... I'm so sorry.” I kept chanting, as Fluttershy's whimpers of pain reached my powerful ancient ears. 

Celestia stood in stunned silence, observing. I couldn't hear her thoughts, but I'm sure she was wondering what in the name of Chaos brought all this caring, kindness, and regret to my voice as I tended to my only true friend, to whom I had unwittingly and selfishly given her wounds. 

Fluttershy looked at herself, and then looked at me. “Thank you, Discord...” she whispered in her sweet half-voice. 

“No. No, don't thank me.... I was the one who hurt you...” I protested.

“But you did the right thing and made it right again. I knew I could trust you, Discord. You're such a good friend.” She nuzzled her uninjured cheek into my furry side. I couldn't heal the gash on the other cheek, as my time-reversal powers would have done catastrophic things to the skull under the skin. On the flesh of her body, my powers were muffled by her muscular structure, and so I didn't accidentally turn back time on her limbs and turn her legs into a foal's tottering limbs by accident. But on her skull, where the muscles are much smaller and the bone is so much closer to the surface, I would have ended up erasing parts of her brain. As funny as it would have been to me in the past, the thought of doing such a terrible thing to Fluttershy made me feel sick. Instead, I stroked her mane softly, and I smiled into her hair. 

“A good friend.” I laughed softly. “I wish I could call myself that, my dear.”

“Oh, but you are.” She stressed. “A good friend always helps others heal. A good friend soothes the pain of a friend in need. You acted out of a friend's instinct, not out of selfishness. That's what a good friend does. But do you know what a best friend does?” She asked me.

“Well, no. I don't. What does a best friend do, Fluttershy?” I responded, and she smiled her winning little smile at me.

“A best friend gets himself back into bed so Nurse Fluttershy can take a look at that bump on his noggin.” Fluttershy said, with a giggle in her tone. 

Fluttershy had called me her best friend. I never had a best friend before. And like I mentioned, I loved the feeling. I lusted for the sensation of having Fluttershy own me and my emotions like I was a pet. I couldn't explain the feeling. I still can't. A being of Chaos is simply not meant to be in a cage. It didn't make any sense.

Then again, what's the fun in making sense?

I did as Fluttershy asked and crawled back into bed, and Fluttershy opened her creamy wings and floated up to sit beside me. I scuffled over to make room.

Celestia's serene smile told me that she finally trusted me enough to get back to her royal duties. I nodded curtly at her, and she returned the nod before walking out of the room. 

I felt my vision blur again, and a headache begin to form, but unlike all the other times Celestia had been out of eyeshot, the flashbacks stayed thankfully at bay. Maybe it was the sound of Fluttershy softly humming a sweet lullaby as she undressed my head wound. 

“Oh, goodness, Discord. You really did give yourself quite the nasty bump. Are you sure you shouldn't see a doctor for that?”

I sighed. “Pony doctors can heal pony injuries. I doubt any regular doctor would be able to do much for a lumbering mismatched monster like me.” 

“You're not a monster.” Fluttershy said confusedly. “Why would you call yourself that? I don't think you're a monster at all.” 

“Well, you'd be the first.” I shot back, a bit more harshly than I intended to. Fluttershy flinched a little, and I immediately felt the sharp pang of regret hit me right in the heart. 

“Maybe I am the first... but that's okay. All you need is one best friend that thinks you're wonderful. I'm lucky enough to have lots of friends, and I'm happy as can be. But I'm willing to be your best friend, if you'll let me. I mean, if that's okay...” Fluttershy trailed off.

“Okay? Dear, it's more than okay. I've never had a best friend. If I could get out of bed, I'd leap for joy at the chance.” I responded. 

“Speaking of getting out of bed, let me take a look at that bump again. I brought along a few herbal remedies that I think will help it heal up wonderfully.” Fluttershy floated down to her bag and came back up with a jar of something slimy and green held in her mouth. It looked like lime-flavored gelatin that had been sitting out in the sun. 

Fluttershy opened the jar and applied some of the slimy green goop to the throbbing hole in the back of my head, and almost at once I felt a wash of relief as the cooling liquid seeped into my flesh and eased my headache. 

“There. Let me wrap you back up again. That's a remedy designed to heal things like that in a day or so, but I've only ever used it on small forest creatures. It might take longer on you. I hope that's okay.” 

“It's perfect, dear. Gives me more time to talk to you without my head feeling like, well, like I've whacked it on a solid object.” I laughed a little and squirmed as the jelly felt squishy and odd underneath the bandage. Fluttershy giggled along with me, and the sound of her laughter sent the flame settling in my gut to roar into new life, setting all my nerve endings alight with some sort of joyful tingling sensation I hadn't felt in eons. I'd forgotten emotions could be this... intoxicating.  

Suddenly, as if my limbs acted on their own, I grabbed Fluttershy from mid-air and held her close to me. The force of my grab had her squealing in shock until she was pressed against my breast, where she relaxed into my embrace. She mumbled something I couldn't quite make out into my skin, which kind of sounded like “Mess sends an undertaker”, but that didn't make any sense to me.

Then again, as I've said before... What's the fun in making sense? 

> I'll Cover You
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter Two: I'll Cover You

My eyes fluttered open slowly and my vision cleared. The morning sun came filtering through the stained-glass window, sending multicolored shrapnel-shards of light in all directions. I went to get up, as my head felt considerably better since the day before, but there was a strange weight on my chest keeping me down. Looking down, my heartstrings panged and my heart itself skipped a beat or two when I realized that Fluttershy had never left the night before, and now lay curled up on my chest, sleeping peacefully. 

She... stayed. The rest of the world seemed silent as those two words rattled around in my addled noggin like dice in a cup. She stayed. She stayed. She stayed. 

She hadn't abandoned me. She hadn't taken her things and snuck out in the middle of the night, hoping to leave unnoticed before I woke up. She hadn't left me alone. She hadn't broken my tenuous grasp on trust. 

She stayed. 

Those two words meant more to me than all the chaos in Equestria. It felt so good to have a true friend, someone to rely on. A best friend. And now that I had one, after eons of loneliness and sorrow....

Well, I wasn't going to let this one go any time soon. I kept her wrapped in my patchwork arms, feeling her warmth radiate throughout my body. 

I heard the door open, and Celestia poked her nosy, royal head in. 

“Good morning, Discord. Are you feeling any better today?” She asked quietly, not wanting to wake the sleeping pony in my arms. 

“Much, actually. Fluttershy applied some kind of herbal remedy to my head and I think it's starting to do the trick.” I whispered back. 

“Mmm... You don't have to be so quiet if you don't want to... I wasn't really sleeping.” Fluttershy's voice drifted up from my chest. I looked down and the sweet little pony was rubbing her eyes with the back of her hoof and shaking her mane away from her face. 

“Well, you looked so peaceful. I... I didn't want to disturb you.” I admitted. 

“I was just enjoying my new Best Friend Pillow. You're very soft and warm, Discord. Has anypony ever told you that?” Fluttershy snuggled deeper into my fur, and I couldn't help but laugh.

“Well, no, Fluttershy. You're the first. Most ponies are too busy screaming and running away as I make it rain chocolate milk on their heads.” I responded with a giggle. “Hey, cut it out, Fluttershy, that tickles!” 

Celestia smiled in her weird, knowing way, and wandered back out the door. With the Princess safely out of earshot, I turned my attention back to Fluttershy. 

“Fluttershy, can I ask you a question?” 

“Of course, Discord. Ask away.” 

“Please, don't think me rude.... but why are you still here?” 

“Did you not want me here?”

“No, no! It's not that!” I retracted, “It's just that most everypony else would have gotten bored of me and left me already. Would have snuck away in the middle of the night. You didn't.” 

Fluttershy shook her head softly, a sweet smile on her face. “I would never do that to you, Discord. I would never, ever leave you unless you wanted me to leave. We're best friends, remember? Best friends don't just abandon each other.” 

Another mention of best friendship. Every time she said it, I felt my heart lurch in my chest and tears spring to my eyes. I couldn't tell whether I was truly happy I had a friend... or depressed because I was nothing more than that. 

And then it hit me like a sack of bricks. 

I was upset because I was nothing more. 

Fluttershy looked me in the eyes and told me I was her friend. She even promoted me to best friend. But the greedy little draconequuis in me wanted more. The darkest corners of my enigmatic mind wanted me to sink my teeth into her and never let go. 

That thought terrified me more than the thought of not objecting to being Fluttershy's pet. A shiver went down my spine, and not a good shiver. Or maybe it was? I couldn't tell. This feeling was so new, so terrifying, and yet....

So familiar. So... warm. 

Snap out of it! Don't go down that road! Fluttershy's your friend, nothing more. Don't go getting ahead of yourself just because she didn't bail on you overnight. My inner voice chastised me sharply, and I could swear I almost felt my inner younger self cuff me in the back of the head. Fluttershy's the Element of Kindness. She's supposed to be sweet and innocent. You're an eons-old being of chaos, and she's what, twenty-two? She's barely a baby compared to you. You stupid, lumbering mix-and-match monster.

'I'll have nothing to do with a stalker, let alone a lumbering mix-and-match monster like you! I am a Princess, not a common whore!' 

“Discord? Are you okay?” Fluttershy's soft voice shook me out of my thoughts. 

“Um. Yes. Yes, I'm fine. Um, excuse me, Fluttershy, but I just need a little bit of air....” I muttered, gently lifting Fluttershy off my body and placing her down on the floor. I got up and stretched my wings. 

“Discord, are you sure you shouldn't take at least one more day of bed rest?” 

“I'llbeokayIhavetogo!” I babbled before bolting from the room. 

As I stared at myself darkly in the bathroom mirror, my inner voice kept laying into me. Man, my inner self could be a real jackass when he wanted to be. 

You're such a sappy bastard, too. Look at you! You're all whiny and upset because you stupidly fell for someone out of your league again. Granted, you didn't try horning in on the Princess of all Equestria again, but you might as well have! You have exactly the same chance either way, zero effing percent. Just calm down and enjoy Fluttershy's friendship. 

I know I should, inner me, but she's the only creature in this entire realm who's ever shown me kindness and even the slightest affection. Is it really that strange that I'd fall in love with her? 

Snap out of it! You're Discord, the God of Chaos and Disharmony! You've caused disease, famine, drought, and mayhem for millennia! You caused the mass extinction of the Alicorns, wreaked havoc for centuries, and took Equestria by force! You held the title of God of Equestria for a thousand years! And you're locking yourself in the castle latrine, staring at a mirror, all hot and bothered over a woman?! What's the matter with you?

It's different this time! Fluttershy accepts me for who, and what, I really am! She's able to look past the patchwork creature I am on the outside and see who I am on the inside! 

And who are you on the inside, Discord? A 'hero'? Don't make us laugh. After the things you've done, you'll never be a 'hero'.

Maybe I don't want to be a hero! Maybe I just don't want to be the villain anymore!

Oh, shut up. You know that isn't how it works. You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain. And there's no vice versa for that. 

No. No! I am the God of Chaos, and I say there is! I can create chaos out of thin air, I can rend a soul in half with nothing but a glare! I have powers far beyond you, inner voice, and I say there is a vice versa, and I will be that vice versa!

Good luck trying, you daft bastard. Fluttershy will never love you. You're a freak. Just look at yourself! You're nothing but a pieced-together mish-mash of all the parts left on the cutting room floor. You're nothing but a monster. 

“Silence!” My own voice boomed and reverberated through the small restroom. I didn't even have time to stop myself before I was already in motion.

Searing pain shot through my lion's paw as I suddenly shot forward and punched the mirror straight out of it's frame on the wall, shattering it into pieces and embedding glass and splinters into my hand. I howled and reared back, almost stumbling over the bar into the shower. 

“Discord?!” I heard Fluttershy call out. 

No, no, no, don't come in here.... Don't look at me like this.... 

Yes, yes, yes! Come in here, Fluttershy. See what your 'best friend' has become. 

The door was nudged open, and I heard Fluttershy squeak as she first spotted my blood pooling on the floor around me, and then looked up to see me nursing my injured paw and pulling glass out of it with my other claw. “Discord, what happened in here?” She asked.

“Got in a fight with the mirror. It was looking at me funny.” I joked feebly, my cheeks flaring up red as Fluttershy stepped closer to me. 

“Discord, this is no joking matter!” Fluttershy scolded me sharply, taking my paw into her own hooves. Her touch left my skin ablaze. 

I realized that I was in way over my head. I was head-over-hooves for Fluttershy, and there was nothing I could do about it. One of the nasty little downsides to having real, tangible emotions was the fact I could not turn them off. There was no switch for that. No matter how I wanted to rave and rant and demand that I be able to turn my feelings for Fluttershy off at will, even I couldn't make that kind of chaos happen. No, no, I realized. This was something deeper than chaos. 

I was madly, ridiculously, completely out-of-my-Chaos-damned-tree in love with the pale yellow pony with the long pink hair, and her gorgeous teal eyes shimmering with compassion and kindness, and her gentle hooves as she swiftly plucked the glass shards out of my flesh. I was in love with the way she consoled me by humming a sweet soprano lullaby every time I flinched back in pain. I loved her voice, her eyes, her hair... It was young Celestia all over again, and my inner self was screaming at me for it. 

Remember the last time you fell in love, you moron?! She spurned you! You went mad and took over Equestria and caused the deaths of millions! Do you really want to be turned into a stone statue for a thousand years again?!

Oh, shut up. I've spent too long under your tyranny, inner self. This time, I'm doing things  Discord-style. 

Discord-sty--...?! That better be a bad music pop culture reference, you sick bastard. 

Oh, don't worry. It's not. 

This isn't going to end well for us. 

Back into the inner recesses of my mind, you. Not a peep until I'm stone again, you hear me? When I go crazy and start murdering ponies with chaos, you have the right to say 'I told you so'. Until then, shush. 

In one fluid motion, my claw brought Fluttershy's chin up, as my serpentine neck slithered down, and I captured Fluttershy's lips in mine. She squealed in surprise, but didn't push me away. 

When I finally broke the kiss for air, Fluttershy was wide-eyed and confused, but didn't have a breakdown and call me a monster while ruthlessly beating me up with solid gold shoes and leaving me to bleed out in a gutter on the side of the castle courtyard. So, that was a plus.

“Discord... I... What?” She squeaked, clearly very confused.

“Oh, come now, Fluttershy. You've shown me compassion, kindness, and a willingness to be in my company despite what I am and what I've done. Is it any real surprise that I would...” I gulped and I got that cottony feeling in my mouth once more. “That I would fall in love with you?” 

“L-L-Love? With me? Oh, but why? I don't think I'm that special.” Fluttershy mumbled shyly, her face flushing the most beautifully adorable shade of reddish-pink. 

“I beg to differ, my dear. You are more than special; you are.... magnificent.” 

I kissed her again, more deeply. It took a lot of willpower, but I managed to not try and shove my forked tongue in her mouth. I don't want to overload the poor thing. (My tongue has been known to do that.) 

Thankfully, my willpower was short-lived. 

Fluttershy actually responded to my kiss, pulling me down to her level just as fervently as I was pulling her up to mine. We clashed in the middle, a chaotic maelstrom of teeth and hoof and claw and tongues, and by God did it feel wonderful. And I had no idea the timid yellow pony could work her tongue quite like that. I swear I felt it roll in half in my mouth as she snaked it around my own, pulling my tongue into her hot mouth and sucking on it like a lollipop until I was writhing in her hooves, a pile of draconequuis-brand putty melting above her. 

And Oh, God, when she kicked me forward from behind, causing us both to tumble down until we were pressed together, just soft fur on soft fur and slick skin to slick skin, I thought my brain was going to explode. She ground against me and I could do nothing but groan hotly into her beautifully-angled throat. If she wasn't aware of my heavy arousal making it's first appearance in eons before, she certainly was now. There was no way she could have missed that jabbing into her. Hell, it was nearly her own size. (Ladies...?) If she did notice, she didn't squirm or say anything. 

I broke the kiss, panting heavily. “Where... in Equestria... did you learn to do that...?!” I panted. 

“Not... as innocent... as I look.” She answered simply, breathing just as heavily. “Told Twilight... I was 'spring cleaning'... stole a lot of romance novels.” She admitted. “Don't think... she ever noticed.” 

“Oh, by Chaos...” I rasped. 

“Tell me, Discord. Tell me what you want. Will this end here? Or are you after something else?” Fluttershy pleaded, and like a dam was broken down, words started spilling out of me like a waterfall.

“Oh, by Chaos, Fluttershy. I want you. I need you. I need you by my side when I awaken every morning, and to hold you every night as I sleep. I want to be yours, to be owned by you, kept by you, loved by you. I want to be under your control, your will. I want to give everything I have to see you smile. I'll paint the skies with butterflies, give the oceans a pink glow, take the fields and the plains and all of Equestria itself and make it yours, if you asked me to. You're my everything, now. My one true friend, the only other creature in my entire life who has shown me any sort of joy, any love. And I have lived a very long life, Fluttershy. Already I've submitted to the fact I've fallen for you. Fallen completely, irrevocably head-over-hooves in love with you. You're beautiful.... compassionate... loving...” I punctuated each of Fluttershy's many qualities with a hot kiss to her neck, causing her to whimper. “...and I will enslave myself to your will for a chance to prove myself.” 

“Oh, Discord. I wouldn't ask you to do that. But would you do one thing for me?” Her face was flushed, her eyes half-lidded, and her voice soft. 

“Anything, Fluttershy. Anything for you.” I gave in, nuzzling her softly. 

“Slow down a little.” She stated, and my entire body went numb. 

“I.... what?” I blurted dumbly. Slow down? She just had my tongue in her mouth and my... mini-Discord ready to go. And now she wanted to stop? Agh, women. 

“I understand you've been very lonely and without love or friendship for a very long time, Discord. And I feel the same way about you, honestly I do. But you're still recovering from a head injury and now, a paw injury. I think anything further should wait until you're fully recovered and can make decisions clearly. I don't want you to hurt yourself more by... exerting too much physical affection in your condition.” Fluttershy said cutely, gently pushing me off of her. It was adorable how she could secretly steal a pile of sex novels from a library owned by an obsessive-compulsive, highly-talented, paranoia-prone unicorn, read them, enjoy them, and still be embarrassed about saying “screwing me into a pile of pony jelly on the bathroom floor”. 

“Oh. Right. I.... of course. Anything for you, Fluttershy.” I relented. 

“Think of it this way, Discord. Now you have an incentive to heal up super-fast, don't you?” Fluttershy said as innocently as possible, yet her words still shot straight to the brain I wasn't using at the moment. I grinned like an idiot as she lead me back to the bedroom and bandaged my paw, which until now I had completely forgotten I'd mangled by smashing a mirror in some sort of twisted self-defense against the voices in my head. 

Speaking of which, that smashed mirror was not going to win me any hero points with Celestia. I made a mental note to clean that up later. 

“Oops, I'm all out of gauze. I'm just going to head to the store in town, okay, Discord? Can you stay here and rest while I go?” Fluttershy asked me, while her hoof scratched a lovely spot on my stomach, and dammit I couldn't say no now. 

“Of course, Fluttershy. But please.... promise me you'll return?” I asked, somewhat sheepishly. 

“Always, Discord. I'll never leave you, you know that.” Fluttershy kissed me sweetly and trotted out of the room, shutting the door behind her. 

Not again! My vision blurred and my head began to pound, and I opened my mouth to call Fluttershy back, but my voice had been stolen from me. 

'Discord, I'm howlin' at the moon, and sleepin' in the middle of a summer afternoon....' 

'What is that? Your stupid theme song?'

'What the-- Oh. It's you. Yes, you royal brat, I wrote my own theme song. What, is that a crime in Equestria now?'

'…..You're a freak. No wonder my sister doesn't want to go out with you.'

'Shut your mouth, you little brat, or I'll turn your head inside out.'

'Oooh, I'm telling Tia! Tia! Tiaaaaa! Your freaky franken-stalker is back! And he sings too!' 

Ooooh, that was a juicy one. I'd forgotten that little incident. Equestria's royal Moon Princess was a real tattletale brat when she was younger. 

'I thought I told you to leave me alone, you freak of nature!'

'Please, Celestia, if you'll only let me say my piece--'

'Hmph! All those in a lower order shall address me as Princess Celestia or Your Royal Highness.' 

'Fine, Princess. Now, if I can just speak--'

'No, you can't! I told you time and time again I didn't want you coming around here. If I ever see you around my castle again, I'll blast you into stone and drop you at the bottom of a lake!'

My skull.... it felt like it was on fire. Why was I feeling this way? I never cared about my past when I was evil. I just did what I wanted and buck the consequences. It... it was easier, that was for sure. So why is it that now, when I'm finally done feeling hollow and dead, and I'm happy with who and what I am, that my own memories are coming back to haunt me?

Well, I always wondered what fun there was in making sense. 
> Take on Me
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter Three: Take on Me

 Hey Fluttershy,

It's Twilight. You've been gone for a week now, and we wanted to make sure you were alright because we haven't heard anything from you. We've kept all the animals fed and taken care of for you, but they miss you. I don't know what's gone on up there in Canterlot with Discord, but please come home soon. We're starting to get worried. 

Twilight

“Oh, goodness. I didn't realize I'd been away from home that long.” Fluttershy fretted as she held the letter up to her nose.

“Then go on home, my darling Fluttershy. Your friends miss you.” I responded, running a soft brush through my darling's lovely pink mane. 

“I know, but I like taking care of you, too.” Fluttershy said, looking back at me with those shimmering eyes. 

“Then I'll go with you... Wait. Damn, I can't.” I muttered. “At least, not that easily.”

“Why not?”

“Celestia won't let me leave the castle without an escort.... She's still distrustful of me, I know it.” I confessed. 

“Oh, Discord.” Fluttershy giggled. “I don't think it's because she doesn't trust you. She's just worried about you. I think Princess Celestia cares about you more than she lets on.” 

“She has a damn funny way of showing it; always has.” I snapped, throwing the brush onto the vanity set and storming out of the room, suddenly enraged. That royal bitch has never cared about me! All she cares about is power, and using mine to further her own! She cares nothing for me, never has and never will! 

I left the room and let out a mighty roar to vent some of my anger, a roar that left two guards patrolling the outer balcony to jump in their armor and dart off, probably to alert the Princess. Little sissies. Back in my day guards had substance, not style. You had to have balls to be a Royal Guard. That brother of Twilight Sparkle's, Shining Armor, was regrettably one of the last Royal Guards I ever knew of to really have balls. One has to have giant brass balls to court and marry a Princess (and the Princess of love, no less) and still retain a measure of dignity (even after the whole “Changeling Queen hypnosis” thing. Yeah, that's right. I can hear everything while petrified. I heard that little debacle clearly.) And the stallion does. More power to him. I hope he's rewarded well. But the rest of these guards? All bark, no bite. 

Fluttershy followed me out of the room, concerned for my state. “Discord, what's wrong? Did I say something that upset you? I'm so sorry.” She begged in that ridiculously polite tone. 

I sighed, seeing the tears spring up in her gorgeous eyes. I felt like a prick for upsetting my lovely Fluttershy. I knelt down to her level and held her beautiful face in my claw as gently as I could. I kissed her on the forehead and wiped her tears away. 
“It wasn't you, darling. I think there's something wrong with me. I can't seem to get a handle on myself lately. The flashbacks, the anger.... I feel like I could explode at any moment, and I don't like this feeling, Fluttershy. It's too chaotic, even for me.” I shuddered. “My type of chaos is more obvious and dare I say, more comical. Chocolate rain, upside-down buildings, bears in tutus, soap in the roads! This subtle, internal chaos.... it's too much. It feels like my own magic is working against me.” I lamented, holding my head in my paw. It had begun to throb again, despite healing from the concussion I'd suffered days before. Fluttershy's gentle hoof caressing my own paw sent the pain slowly ebbing away. My darling, lovely, beautiful Fluttershy....

“Why don't we get away from the castle for a while, Discord? I'll ask the Princess to send a single escort guard with us, just to keep her happy, and we'll go back to Ponyville and see everypony. We'll have a picnic. A nice picnic. How does that sound?” Fluttershy offered, nuzzling into my claw. 

“It sounds.... wonderful.” I consented, and lifted Fluttershy onto my back. I opened my wings to take flight, diving out of the tower window and heading around the castle's spires towards the main gate. Fluttershy squealed and held on tight, hiding her eyes in my fur. She seemed to be forgetting that she could fly. Not that it meant much to me; I liked giving her rides around the landscape. 

I landed with a soft thump in front of the main doors, and the two jittering pegasus guards at the gate quickly opened their wings and let myself and my lovely rider through. 

“Discord. I'm glad to see you're feeling better.” Celestia noted as I walked through. “I take it you're feeling well enough to travel.” She said, her piercing eye seemingly pointed right at my soul. 

“It's both impressive and somewhat creepy that you're able to see through me so clearly, Celestia.” I retorted. I bowed down low so Fluttershy could hop off my back. 

“Discord said you won't let him leave without an escort... can we have one....? If that's okay....” Fluttershy half-mumbled, “...your highness....” 

“Of course.” Celestia agreed. “You know, Discord, the reason I want you with an escort is not because I don't trust you. It's for your own safety. There are many ponies across Equestria who still revile and distrust you. I just don't want anything to happen to you.” She noted.

'I'm glad I have your concern, then, you winged royal bitch.' I wanted to say, but kept my fanged yap shut. 

Celestia ushered over two of her attendees, and gave them instructions to chaperone myself and Fluttershy on our travels. I remembered that Fluttershy wanted only one guard, but this would have to do. Celestia chose two pegasi, so we could fly to Ponyville ourselves and not have to take the train. Good thing, too. That train was a bit too small to fit a draconequuis properly. I took that train once, on a trip to Manehattan with Celestia for some royal something-or-other I didn't give a flying feather about. I got out of that train with a crick in my neck and a hunch in my spine so severe I couldn't stand up straight for days. 

“You're going back to Ponyville, are you not?” Celestia asked.

“Yes, we are. Fluttershy wants to have a lovely picnic in the country sun.” I smiled happily, and Fluttershy held my paw in her hoof. 

I flashed open my wings, and the pegasus guards opened theirs as well. Fluttershy climbed back onto my back. I'd learned by now that she couldn't fly the distance from Canterlot to Ponyville all on her own. She wasn't exactly the greatest flier, and she got tired easily. I, however, can fly literally for centuries, at full speed, without landing or resting for even a moment (as I figured out by being chased by two Princesses for six hundred years before they caught me), so I could carry my darling down. 

I took to the sky, the two guards following me up, and then down as I dived down from Canterlot's mountain-side home, towards the sweet scent of apples and springtime that noted the lush green fields and lovely forests of Fluttershy's home. 

“Hey, is that Discord?” I heard one of the ponies below us ask. It sounded like Rainbow Dash, but I wasn't looking, so I couldn't be sure.

“Sure looks like it, sugarcube. Got guards, too.” That unmistakable drawl was certainly Applejack, the element of Honesty. 

“Oh, dear. I hope everything's all right.” 

“I'm sure everything's fine. Look, I see Fluttershy on Discord's back. He must have gotten my letter and been good enough to bring her home, that's all.” 

I landed in the town square on all fours, surrounded by Fluttershy's friends and other nameless background ponies who murmured amongst themselves and stared at me. I let the timid yellow pegasus slide off my back and land on the ground with a small grunt of effort. The pegasus guards circled above, keeping an eye on me and ready to intervene should anything go wrong, yet out of the way and  high enough up that I couldn't just swipe them out of the sky if they annoyed me. 

“Oh, hello, everypony. I hope I didn't cause too much worry.” Fluttershy said sweetly. “Discord and I must have lost track of time as he was healing up. He feels much better now, don't you, baby?” Fluttershy scratched behind my favorite ear, and embarrassingly enough I lost control of my pride long enough to drop to my stomach and get lost in the sensation. Damn, she was good. I think my tongue even lolled out of my mouth at one point. God, I really was Fluttershy's little pet, wasn't I? And I loved every second of it. 

“Awww, how sweet.” I heard Twilight giggle. “Discord must really like his ears scratched.” 

“It's not just his ears,” Fluttershy started, “... if you scratch his tummy he falls asleep.” 

“Fluttershy~! Stop it...!” I protested, face flushing red. 

Fluttershy just giggled. “I'm just teasing you, Discord. I'll stop if you really want me to.” 

“Fluttershy...!” I whined, “I'm the great and terrible God of Chaos....!” 

“You're the cutest, sweetest, most chivalrous great and terrible God of Chaos in the whole wide world.” Fluttershy replied, and stopped scratching my ear long enough for me to cough awkwardly and stand back up on all fours and shake off the lethargy. 

“See?” Fluttershy said to her friends. “He's a big sweetheart.” 

“So, how did you end up with a concussion?” Twilight asked suddenly. “In the Princess' letter, she mentioned you'd hit your head on her throne, but she didn't really go into detail as to how. She just mentioned you'd been getting dizzy spells lately.” 
I shrugged. “It's a long story, and it's not a pretty one.” 

“That doesn't really answer my question.” Twilight replied skeptically. I groaned and rolled my eyes. Stupid, persistent unicorn. 

“Alright, look. Here's the skinny of it. I wasn't always Discord, the villain. I used to be Discord, the goofy nerdy teenager with a crush on a certain sunny little Princess, who also used to be a huge elitist snob. I also used to be a little over-emotional in my younger years, and I suffered from a healthy dose of low self-image. Long story short, Snobby Princess rejects Emo Teenager Discord, he goes crazy with grief, becomes Villain Discord. Snobby Princess captures Villain Discord, turns him to stone, and angry Villain Discord wants revenge. Villain Discord escapes, ponies re-capture him, later reform him. Memories of Emo Teenager Discord being goofy and stupid like to flashback into Reformed Discord's wacky brain. Reformed Discord flips out and accidentally hits his head on Snobby Princess' shiny little throne, gives himself a concussion.” I explained as quickly as possible, my face flushing redder and redder as the moments went by. “Does that answer your question?”

Twilight looked at me sideways for a moment. “Well, that sounds like it could end up being a big problem. Let me see if I can find anything in my books that might help you out. Come on up to the library and I'll check it out.” 

“You're being awfully accepting for someone who used to hate and revile me.” I retorted, but followed her lead anyway. 
“Well, it seems Fluttershy likes you, at least, and Fluttershy's a very good judge of character. If she says you're a decent draconequuis now, then I believe it.” Twilight responded. 

She nudged open the door to her library and let us in. She woke her little baby dragon assistant from his nap and put him to work finding all the books she could on my species. Like that was going to help; there's only one of me and as far as I know, I'm not all THAT well-documented. 

Well, that showed what I knew; within minutes the little ball of purple scales had come down with an absolutely ancient leather-bound book with a clear illustration of myself on the front cover, only I was highly stylized. Very highly-- I had no idea that I could apparently breathe fire, nor do I ever remember owning and operating a pitchfork on a regular basis. And I apparently missed the memo on the hordes of blood-thirsty, hideous shadow creatures under my control. 

“Ah, here we go. Howling at the Moon: Memoirs of a Draconequuis' Rule.” Twilight said, opening the book. 

My jaw almost hit the ground. “I'm thousands of years old, Twilight, and I was never made aware that a book like this existed.”

“Judging from the binding techniques and hoof-set type, I'd say the book was made in secret during your rule over Equestria. It's probably mostly propaganda, but it's our only lead right now.” Twilight answered. She opened the book, and dust came billowing out from between the pages, sending everyone in the library (including myself) into a coughing fit. I waved my paw frantically, trying to clear the thick dust from my eyes and lungs. It tasted like neglect and forgetfulness, and coated my lungs in a thick tar. 

Suddenly, the book burst to life in her hooves, multi-colored fractals of light exploding from the pages in all directions. The world around us shifted and faded and turned foggy, and suddenly, it all came flooding back to me at once. 

> One Song Glory
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter Four: One Song Glory

Lightning flashed white and thunder boomed above as our tyrant Discord roared atop his throne of bones. The sky was red with the blood of lost generations, and the black moon shone menacingly in the midday sky. Thick, dark clouds poured hot liquid terror and icy needles of hate onto our coats and heads, searing our skins with disillusionment and sorrow, chilling us to the bone with regret and sadness. Discord's dire roar sent us all to our knees in fear, cowering before the terrible chaotic God who ruled our formerly lovely land with a blood-stained iron claw. 

“You are mine!” his roar seemed to say, “And you will always be mine!” His eyes flashed a horrible crimson, tinged with molten gold. His soul was as black as his deeds. His crown was fashioned from the blood and bones of our brothers and sisters, his throne from our fathers and mothers and children. His eagle's claw clutched a scepter topped with the horned skull of our late, great ruler, King Solaris. The great king's vast white wings were fashioned crudely with sinew to Discord's terrible throne, rotting and decaying there as a warning to the rest of us. He murdered and dismembered our beloved King to use his flesh as interior decoration. And what he did to the King's wife, the benevolent and beautiful Queen Faust... it was unspeakable. It was disgusting and vile, and we could only imagine what Solaris' and Faust's two daughters must be feeling in their exile. 

Dear Princess Celestia and Selena... No... she preferred Luna, now. A nickname, maybe? Or another self, a way to escape the storm of horror the rest of us were caught inside of? Dear Luna... so young, to lose her beloved father so violently....We couldn't possibly have blamed her if she changed her name and her identity to escape the grief.  Celestia kept her dear sister close, we knew, far away in exile, and we could only hope they saved us soon. 

We had questions, though. Many questions. Why did Discord murder and ruin Solaris and Faust, yet choose to send Celestia and Luna into exile? He could have easily killed them as well, yet he chose not to. Oh well. It doesn't bode well to attempt to understand the mind of a god of Chaos.

The fields grew barren, and the Earth ponies could not grow their food. The trees and the vegetation died horribly, withering away into toxic husks. The Earth ponies claimed they could almost feel the Earth beneath their hooves screaming in agony as it was poisoned from the inside out. Famine and plague washed over the land like a tidal wave of death and pestilence. Ponies starved to death rather than eat the toxic husks left behind by the hellstorm of Discord's chaotic rule. 

The clouds in the sky were thick and black, and the Pegasi tried to clear them, but failed. The Pegasi could not fly high enough to kick the clouds away, as the lightning would kill them in mid-air and send their charred and bloodied carcass spiraling back down to earth, where it would land on a pile of other failed Pegasi. Wave after wave of Pegasi tried to clear the deadly clouds of suffering, and wave after wave of Pegasi would fall back to earth, long dead before they hit the ground. Mass graves littered the hellscape, deep open pits filled haphazardly with the bloody, liquified pieces-parts of ponies who failed to survive. And very few didn't fail to survive. 

The unicorns used their magic to sustain themselves for a while, but soon Discord caught on, and used his own chaotic magic to suck the magic right out of them to use for himself. Huge clouds of shimmering smoke hovered from town to town and village to city, and every unicorn caught in the smoke found themselves powerless and too weak to move. Thousands of unicorns died in the streets, unable to even get back home to say goodbye to their families. Those of us still strong enough to help tried our best to help the unicorns get back to their homes to die in peace, but more often than not it was far too late, and the poor unicorn died on the way there, and was left to rot. 

The alicorns, immortal as they were by normal means, mounted attacks against Discord left and right, and were left with ruin. While an alicorn was immortal when it came to natural causes of death, such as disease or hunger or thirst or old age, an alicorn could still be killed, and many were. Discord tore their wings from their bodies, twisted their necks, gouged out their eyes, and did unspeakable, vile, unimaginable things to the royals of our land before allowing them the sweet release of death. 

Where were our beloved Princesses? Why were they allowing this to happen to us? Didn't they care? Didn't they love us as we loved them? Didn't they feel the Earth beneath their hooves wail with the ghosts of flora and fauna poisoned by Discord's terrible reign? Didn't they smell the charring of flesh from an unlucky Pegasus caught in a shot of lightning aimed by a malevolent black cloud of shadow? Didn't they feel the smoke that drained the magic from the unicorns and left them to die in the gutters, alone and in excruciating pain, unable to even utter a sound or pray for their loved ones? Didn't they see the black moon shine through the blood-red midday sky and hear the terrible, great roar of a tyrant and a usurper of their glorious throne? Couldn't they hear the voices of their fallen bretheren, crying out from beneath the ground? Couldn't they see the suffering all around them? Where were they, in their exile, that they could not sense our pain and agony? Why didn't they come for us? Why? Where were our beloved princesses?

Eventually, the wars overtook us. Wars amongst ourselves for what little food was left, wars with other nations for their resources not yet toxified by Discord. Wars within ourselves over suffering and sadness. Nopony smiled. Nopony looked at one another. We sat in place, melancholy statues, not yet stone but close enough, wasting away into nothing once there was nothing left to live for. 

From his throne of carnage, Discord roared in victory. His terror had been wrought, his chaos unleashed. We heard his terrible maniacal laughter from high above, and each note of his victorious cackle cut like a blade straight to the very core of our beings. Icy tears slipped down our broken cheeks as we laid down in the streets to await our deaths. Extinction. Ponykind, destroyed. Discord's reign, supreme. What was he after? Why did he do all this? What was this vile despot's goal? Why did he want Equestria-- neigh, the world, in the palm of his paw? Furthermore, the world was in his paw, so easily destroyed with a flick of his wrist, so why didn't he just destroy us all? Why leave us to die slowly, begging for death? 

But then, a miracle. One day, as the war and famine threatened to consume us all, the sun rose. Bringing the sun into our sky on a golden chariot, our Princess Celestia strode magnificently through our lands, bringing life and warmth back to our barren hellscape. Luna was not far behind, as the terrible dark moon set in the sky, finally ending the eternal night of darkness. The two Princesses combined their powers, their horns lighting up the sky brighter than any white lightning. The clouds dispersed, the sun shone, and from his dark castle, we could hear Discord shriek in disbelief and rage. 

Celestia and Luna opened their great wings, and took to the sky. In their wake, life returned to the land in waves. Plants that were just virulent husks sprang back to life. Trees flourished and bore fruit once more. Animals returned. Crops grew stronger than ever. Ponies close to death were rejuvenated and reborn. Rain, real water rain, fell from the sky onto the tongues of ponies denied their thirst for eons. 

Discord emerged from his tower, a great evil beast of gnarled claws and gnashing teeth. He was angry that his chaos has been reversed and broken by the very Princesses he saw fit to give his mercy towards. A huge, serpentine mix-and-match monster made up of terrible things. The claw of an eagle, the paw of a lion, the head of a despot, the body of a stallion, the legs of a dragon and a goat, and the wings of a Pegasus and a demon. He roared so powerfully that the sound wave nearly knocked young Princess Luna from the sky. But she recovered with the helping hoof of her sister, and together the Princesses lunged at Discord, and anypony could see that Celestia was aiming to pierce Discord's heart with her great white horn. Anypony could clearly see that Celestia had a bone to pick with Discord. The why was unknown, yet uncared for. All that mattered is that she was here. She was fighting. She was winning.  

Discord took off, cursing and spitting fire the whole way through. The princesses chased him and chased him, setting in motion the regular setting and rising of the sun and moon. They chased Discord for centuries, never letting the monster rest for even a single moment. They chased him from hidey-hole to hidey-hole, from forest to desert to glacier to ocean. And when that horrible tyrant, that monster, could go no further?

The Princesses were waiting for him. They caught him from both sides, and together, they used their Elements of Harmony on him. Laughter to dispel the fear and the sorrow of millions. Honesty to dispel Discord's lies and deceit. Generosity to dispel his greed and avarice. Kindness to dispel his cruelty and terror. Loyalty to dispel the wars and the betrayal between us. And of course, Magic, to overpower Discord's own and send him back to the Hell he sprang from. Discord's shriek of agony could be heard from sea to shining sea as his body was turned to stone from the inside out. Soon, the scream died down to sweet, delicious silence, and the Princesses flew over the vast stretches of blue sky, and ponies all over Equestria cheered and sang their praises. 

Life had returned in Equestria. Celestia was crowned the supreme ruler of the land of Equestria, with Luna as next in line for the throne. Finally, after millennia of sorrow, pain, suffering, and death, we had joy, relief, happiness, and life. All the blood of the fallen was washed away, and all the bodies were given proper respect. They were buried in a certain area of Equestria, and trees symbolizing their pain sprang from their gravesites, forming a dense, thick forest. Princess Celestia named the forest the Everfree, for now the ponies buried within it were forever free from Discord's rule. The Everfree forest thrived for centuries, and will thrive for centuries still. 

The scars of Discord's rule will be carried always within the collective heart of ponykind. The thousands of years ruled by a tyrant dictator, hearing him roar from his tower and watching the midday sky turn black and chaotic will never die in our spirits. Watching the bodies of ponies drop in the streets and die, and hearing the sobbing of starving orphaned foals forced to seek warmth in the bloated, decaying bellies of their mothers, and using the bones of their fathers as weapons against their own will be a psychological scar that will never fully heal. But under the rule of our beautiful and benevolent Princess Celestia, who preaches togetherness, honor, and the light in our hearts above all else, we will survive. We will stand tall on our hooves once more, and we will travel forward, one trot at a time. 

        
> Castle of Glass
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter Five: Castle of Glass

I reeled back from the overwhelming memories, my paw clamped tightly over my mouth as I attempted vehemently not to vomit. My head was swimming in itself, and drowning in the twinkling smoke still billowing from the book's enchanted pages. I fell back against the wall of Twilight's tree-based library, doubling over as my stomach roiled in disgust. 

“Yikes!” I heard Pinkie Pie exclaim, “Discord used to be a super-duper meany pants!” 

“That's an understatement, dear.” Rarity replied to her with a tired voice, as if Pinkie were too slow to really grasp the concept of what she'd just witnessed.

“Well, I have a few better words for it, but they're even meaner than that book, so I was trying not to use them.” Pinkie Pie retorted rather seriously, pouting. “After all, if you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all, right?” 

Twilight had already dropped the book and backed away from it quite a bit, her violet eyes wide with horror. The details of that book were horrifically overwhelming. Her eyes darted up to me, and I could clearly see the disgust and shame in those bright orbs. 

Rainbow Dash, who up until now had been silent, stepped forward to take the book off the floor and close the cover. 

“Twilight?” Rainbow said in a small, awkward voice, “Can I give back all those Daring Do novels now? I don't think I like reading anymore.” 

Twilight was silent, but gave Rainbow Dash a withering glance that immediately sent the colorful pony staring at her hooves in shame, cheeks blazing red. Twilight turned back to me. 

“Twilight, I--”

She held up a hoof to silence me, then put the book back on the shelf she got it from. 

“Well, it's clear that book isn't going to help us pinpoint the source of your flashbacks.” She said simply. 

“I remember all of that. I remember doing all of that. I remember the terror I wrought, and the things I did, and I'm sickened by it.” I tried to explain. “I'm not that monster anymore!” 

“Discord...” I heard a tiny voice from my left. “Discord, how... how could you? I read stories about Queen Faust in school... how beautiful she was and how kind and compassionate she was... She was an artist and an author. Prints of her work are on display at the museum in Cloudsdale. Books and screenplays she'd written are in libraries around Equestria. We saw pictures of her from all those centuries ago, artist's renditions, things like that. Her red mane flowing in the soft wind over her coat, white as snow... but we never learned how she died.” 

Tears sprung to my eyes and I fell to my knees in front of my trembling Fluttershy. I clung to her coat desperately, as if she would turn to sand and drift away in the breeze if I let go for even a moment. “Fluttershy, I... There are no excuses for the things I did as ruler of Equestria. There are no excuses, no explanations. I was a wretched and evil monster, and at the time all I knew was chaos and death. Murdering the King and Queen was nothing to me then. Back then, I had no soul, no friendship, no love to guide me. I had been scorned, broken, and martyred my entire life. All I wanted was revenge and chaos. But I'm not that.... thing, anymore. Not ever. Now that I have you, my sweetest, dearest Fluttershy, and now that I have light in my heart... I know I'll never be that monster again. I read that book, same as you did, and saw the things I did play back behind my eyes, and it sickened me. It felt like watching something else doing those things, like I couldn't believe I could have ever been that horrible. I deserve much worse than imprisonment in stone, and yet that was what I got. I know that 'sorry' will not help me now....but it's all I've got.” 

Another silence fell across the library, all eyes on Fluttershy, waiting for her reaction. I finally let go of Fluttershy, realizing that my grip on her shoulders was either hurting or annoying her, judging by the trembling of her front legs. 

“I... Oh...! I....” She stammered, her eyes watering. She was close to tears with anxiety and fear. She sniffled and sat down, hiding her beautiful eyes behind her soft pink mane. 

Her silence struck my heart like the cold steel of a dagger. Backing away from her, I could feel my vision swim just like it had before, except now, there was this blue haze of anguish around the edges of my peripheral vision, and it seemed to me that everything and everypony around me were melting into this blue-tinted, soupy fog.

'You've wrought terror on our fair land for too long, Discord!' 

'Terror....? My glorious Chaos, you call 'terror'? How droll. You arrogant Alicorns... you believe your own point of view is supreme! What you deem 'terror', I deem glory! What you call 'fair', I call 'ugly'. You hold no power here, Princess! I am the supreme ruler of Equestria now, and it is I who deem the definition of 'terror' in this land.' 

'Who is the more arrogant here, Discord? I am trying to save my land! My subjects!'

'Your subjects? I believe they call me Master now.' 

'What is this really about, Discord? Is this really about revenge?' 

'...Revenge? No! You stupid Princess, it was never about revenge! It's about Chaos! Glorious, beautiful, mortal chaos! It's about giving to you everything I have to offer, one way or another.' 

'Are you really doing all this just because I rejected you?'

'No, Princess. This isn't about my misguided youthful feelings for you!'

'You're a bad liar, Discord.'

'Silence! Enough prattle! I refuse to be spoken to in such a manner in my own castle.' 

'Then it's settled, then. You simply won't listen to reason. You just won't make sense of things, will you, Discord?'

'Make sense? Oh, sweet, silly little Princess Celestia.... what fun is there in making sense?' 

“Making sense...” I mumbled out loud, my eyes glazed over. “What fun is there in making sense?”

“Discord?” I vaguely heard somepony ask, though it sounded at the time like they were underwater, and quite far away. The sound was like a dream, or memories intertwining. It didn't feel... real. 

“Discord? You're scaring me!” 

Her voice shot through the haze like a bullet. My head snapped towards her, and immediately my eyes cleared up. “I.... Oh. I....” My mouth stumbled over words. “I.... oh. Oh, dear. I'm.... I'm sorry, Fluttershy. I didn't mean to frighten you. I didn't hurt you, did I?” 

“Um... I... no.... but.... you were just staring and mumbling.... it was kind of scary...” She replied softly, casting her eyes downward. 

“I'm sorry.” I said sincerely. “Twilight, please give me that book. I want to hide it away where nopony has to read the awful things I did back then.” I held my paw out to accept it, but Twilight balked.

“I—I think I should research the magical properties of the book more thoroughly... I'm sorry, Discord, but it's not you I mistrust, it's the book. I just don't trust that thing out of my sight until I'm sure of the magical properties it holds and the effect they could have on Equestria.” 

I shook my head. “No, Twilight. I know the kind of magic that book holds. It holds dark magic, evil magic... Magic I thought I'd never have to see again. I assure you, Twilight Sparkle, that book is in better hooves with me. I know how to contain its power.” I stressed, my paw trembling in anticipation to receive the cursed tome. 

Fluttershy shook herself out of her softness for a moment to flutter up beside me and drape herself over my shoulder like the softest, sweetest parrot. “Twilight, I'll watch over Discord, if that's what you're worried about. I can keep him, and the book, here in Ponyville with me. That way, you can research all you like, but the book will still be under Discord's protection.” She suggested. 

“Celestia will never allow me away from the castle like that, my dearest. It has to come back with me to Canterlot.” I replied sadly. Fluttershy looked defeated for a moment, but relented with a soft, sad,

“...oh.... okay....” as she floated off my shoulder and back down. 

“Fine, it can go with you. But you need to swear to me that this book will never be used in any sort of horrible chaotic act.” Twilight said, taking the book back down off the shelf. 

“You have my word.” I said, and Twilight gave me the book. It felt like hot ice in my hands, burning and freezing and solid and terrible all at once. It pulsed with something dark, something that made the fur on the back of my neck stand on end. I clutched it tightly, mentally telling the book to behave itself. I wasn't going to let this evil thing hurt anypony else. 

“I'm going to take this straight to Celestia. She at least needs to know that I have it.” I announced, and spread my wings. 

“Wait, Discord! Let me go with you!” Fluttershy begged. She floated up and desperately tried to cling to my serpentine neck. It killed me inside, but I held her off with my paw. I gently pushed her back down to the ground. 

“No, Fluttershy. I can't.” I pleaded. “I can't risk this book's magic hurting you in some way. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to you. I must go alone.” 

“Discord...” Fluttershy's eyes welled with tears, and I felt my heart break. I quickly took to the sky before I could change my mind. 

“I'm sorry, Fluttershy!” I called back to her as I took off faster than she could keep up. 

As I flew at top speed back to Canterlot, with the two Pegasus guards struggling to keep up with me, I could faintly hear Twilight Sparkle consoling Fluttershy. 

“He cares about you, Fluttershy, that's why he didn't let you come with him. He's trying to protect you.” 

“I don't need protecting, Twilight! When I'm with Discord, I feel... safe. I feel safe and happy and... I love him.” 

I landed in Canterlot Castle's courtyard and galloped back to the throne room. “Celestia, Celestia!” I cried.

She seemed taken aback, and actually jumped a little when I burst into the room. It seemed like I'd interrupted her in the middle of some boring royal paperwork. “What is it, Discord?” She asked.

“I've discovered an artifact, a book, that may help pinpoint the origins of my flashbacks... unfortunately, the book is possessed by a nasty dark magic and trying to read it is... uncomfortable, to say the least. Well, more like tortuous. Vile magic. I apologize for bursting in so suddenly, but I needed to make you aware of the artifact and the dark magic that binds it.” I explained all in one breath, gesticulating wildly. My vision was blurred, but not by my headaches. It was the tears welling up in my eyes from having to leave my beloved Fluttershy behind. 

Celestia took a painfully awkward moment to absorb the rapid-fire information I'd just bombarded her with. Finally, her expression softened. “Yes, I know.” 

“So, I... You... what?” I asked rather stupidly.

“You forget, Discord, that it was I who provided to Twilight Sparkle almost every book in her library, save a few she already possessed. I knew that book you hold was amongst them. I will admit that I didn't --and really, I still don't-- fully understand the true nature of the dark magic that it holds, but I knew it was enchanted. Please, Discord, enlighten me. Exactly what does the book do upon being opened?” 

“It provides a first-hand image of exactly what vile and horrific things I did whilst ruling over Equestria.” I growled through gritted teeth. She knew. She knew, and she had kept the information from me. That royal whelp. I should have slew her where she sat on her fluffy, cushy velvet throne. But I didn't. But if a glare could kill, Celestia would have been dead, buried, with unicorns still firing nasty spells at her grave. 

“Ah, I see.” Celestia's expression turned almost sad. “All of it? From beginning to end?” 

“From the height of my rule to the day I was defeated.” I answered tersely. “And I think you and I both know exactly where the height of my rule began.” I snarled. 

“With my father's wings and skull used as interior decoration and my mother's desiccated corpse crucified and violated on your front lawn, yes.” Celestia replied just as tersely, her spine gone stiff. It seemed I'd struck a nerve. 

“And here I thought I'd done well, bringing you this book and the information within it. I see I've only disappointed you once more. Perhaps I'm useful for nothing more than giving others a smug sense of schadenfreude. If I've sufficiently made you feel better about yourself by being such a failure, I'll be going now.” I snapped, and turned to leave.

“Discord, wait.” Celestia ordered. I stopped. 

“What, haven't I done enough damage?” I growled.

“I wanted to tell you that I forgive you your past transgressions. Yes, my dear mother and father are gone, and their deaths will be in my heart forever, but you are a different stallion now. I can see it in your eyes. Keep the book and do with it what you will. If the book possesses the powers you claim it does... then I want no part of it. Thank you for telling me you have it, Discord, but knowing what's inside it is more than I needed, or ever wanted, to know.” 

“Well, thanks for your forgiveness, Princess,” I spat the word Princess as venomously as I could, “...but if you'll excuse me, I have some nasty hexwork to undo.” Without further word, I spun around (my tail almost taking out one of the hapless guards lining the throne room's walls) and slithered out, the book held neatly in the coils of said tail. 

When I got back to my bedroom, I was surprised to find Fluttershy sitting on my bed, apparently awaiting my return.

“Gah! I... Flutter-- I mean--” 

“Shh, Discord. It's okay. I know why you had to leave me behind.” 

“I'm sorry. I was afraid for you.” I replied, using my tail to push the cursed book on the very top of the bookcase, away from the average pony's prying eyes. “I love you.” I finally admitted in words. “I love you, Fluttershy, and I would do anything to keep you safe. I would die for you.” 

“Maybe I don't want you to die for me.” She replied, and though her voice was timid and soft, it sounded as though she were trying very hard to be brave. 

“What?” I retorted, perhaps more harshly than was warranted. 

“I don't want you to die for me, Discord! I want you to live for me. Live for us, Discord. Don't die foolishly for me, but let us fight together! If we should fall, it should be together.” 

“Oh. I understand.” I answered more softly. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap. The Princess and I still don't get along very well, and--” 

“I heard it all. The walls in this castle are thin, and you were kind of yelling at her.” Fluttershy half-whispered. 

“I... I know. I'm sorry.” I said. Fluttershy ushered me over to her, and I obeyed. She hovered inches from my muzzle and pressed her lips to mine. 

“I forgive you...” She muttered into the kiss. My heart swelled and I took her tiny form in my arms, holding her close as we kissed. 

Fluttershy had to break the kiss to breathe, and she finally looked me up and down. “Goodness, Discord, I keep forgetting how much bigger you are than me. I'm barely the size of your head!” She giggled. 

“Oh, dear, does it bother you?” I asked jokingly. “Here, let me fix it.” Turning my chaotic magic outward, I shrunk myself down to an average stallion's size, maybe a smidge larger. Fluttershy squeaked. 

“I forgot you can do that.” She giggled again, and her laughter was contagious. Somehow, we both ended up laughing and rolling about on the bed. My arms shot out and suddenly I was tickling her sides, and she giggled even harder. She snorted too, and for some reason it was so cute I couldn't help tickling her more. The thought struck me that, Dear Celestia, what have I become? We're that gooey, disgusting couple I swore to myself I hated. Why don't I hate this? 

The thought vanished when Fluttershy nuzzled into my side and sighed in bliss. “How... did you get here, Fluttershy?” I finally asked after a long period of sweet silence. 

“Rainbow Dash flew up and positioned a cloud closer to Canterlot. Twilight teleported me up to the cloud, and then I flew the rest of the way from there.” She explained simply. “They were willing to help me because they know how much I care about you. Personally, I don't think they approve. Part of them still wants to believe that you're evil and that you're going to hurt me, but I don't care what they think. I love you, and that's not going to change. I know who and what you really are, and I trust you with my heart.” 

I froze. “No... No, Fluttershy, don't trust me with that. I'm too clumsy, too oblivious... Don't trust me with something so pure and full of light. I couldn't forgive myself if I were to break such a beautiful and fragile gift as your wonderful heart.” 

“You won't.”

“But I could--”

“You won't.” Fluttershy stressed. “It's time you stopped doubting yourself, Discord. Do you think that I would give you my heart and my love with the expectation that you would break it? Do you really believe that I am so naïve as to give away my soul without full knowledge of your feelings? I am young, Discord, but I am not stupid.” Fluttershy regarded me with a serious eye. “I know you will not break my heart, because I trust you so fully with everything I am. I love you, Discord, and I know you love me. A relationship like ours is going to require work and we may have disagreements. But know that no matter what happens, I love you.” 

“...I've never been given such a gift before. Such a gift as love... it's so strange and yet, so warm. I've never felt so good being the bearer of such a simple and ordered thing like love.” 

“What makes you say that?” 

“What? That love is simple and full of order? It is. You love somepony. Somepony loves you. It's as predictable as the rising of the sun.” 

“See, I disagree. I believe that nothing is more chaotic than love. You do not just love somepony. It is not a choice you can make. Love strikes you when you least expect it, and when it does, you hardly ever know what to do. I didn't choose to love you, Discord. I just do, and I can't explain logically why. Love isn't logical. It's completely unpredictable.” 

“So... you wouldn't have chosen me.” I sighed sadly. I understood her reasoning, but it didn't sting any less.

“I didn't say that. I just said that I didn't choose you. I never said I wouldn't if I could.” 

“But it's true, isn't it? If you had the choice, Fluttershy, tell the truth. You wouldn't have chosen me, would you have?” 

“I can't answer that, Discord, because I don't know. Like I said, nopony has a choice in the matter. Maybe I would have, maybe not. I can't be sure. But all I do know is, I do love you Discord, so much, and I know I can't stop it, whether I wanted to or not. My body and my heart cries out for you, Discord, and so here I am. It's as simple as that.” 

“So you do agree then, that love is a thing of Order and not of Chaos.” 

“Maybe it's both?” Fluttershy postulated. 

That got me thinking. “Yes... yes, I believe you're right. It's both Order and Chaos, and that, in itself, makes it the most chaotic, yet most balanced thing in the world. It is the best of both worlds, and that makes it perfect. Love doesn't need to be Ordered or Chaotic. It simply is, and it's simply wonderful.” 

I kissed my dear Fluttershy again, and in my smaller form, I pressed against her. She responded by wrapping her hooves around me, and I held her close. My claw began to wander down her front... 

Knock knock knock! 

“Oh, Celestia dammit!” I snapped, and grew to my normal size as I clambered off of the panting pale-yellow pony beneath me. With a flick of my wrist, my magic smashed the door clean off its hinges, and the wood and stone splintered into smithereens against the floor behind me. It was a more violent reaction than what I was going for, but hey, I'm the God of Chaos. 

“Can I help you?!” I snarled to the pony who dared interrupt this powerful moment. 

“We apologize. Did We interrupt something?” Princess Luna, in her overly-formal archaic tone, not as loud as she used to be but still louder than socially acceptable at somepony's doorway in the middle of the night, stood in the wreckage of the doorway, one eyebrow cocked in a 'wow, really?' expression. 

“Just a bit, yes!” I snapped again. “Is there something I can help you with, Princess?” 

“Our sister hath requested that We take possession of the artefact thou hast acquired. She inquired if We may be capable of unlocking its shadowy enchantment.” 

“Oh, for Celestia's sake, nopony talks like that anymore-- Yes, fine, here, take it.” I grabbed the book from the top of the bookshelf and held it out for Luna to take. Luna's telekinetic magic took it from my grasp in a deep blue aura. 

“Thanketh thee. We shall retire until the morrow. May thy dreams be calm this night.” Luna said with almost a smirk as she regarded Fluttershy nestled in the heap of mangled sheets, “.... If thou even experiences the realm of dreaming tonight.” 

“Don't think I don't understand what you're getting at, Luna. Just try to walk in my dreams tonight. I dare you. Either you won't get in or you're not going to like what you see. There's really only two possible outcomes, here.” 

I heard her mumble something rude in Old Equestrian under her breath. “I heard that, missy. Don't make me tattle to Tia. Now goodbye, and good night.” I retorted. Summoning forth my magic again, I put the door back together (albeit upside-down) and reattached it to the frame, shutting the door in the Moon Princess' smug little face. I heard her clip-clop away into the night, chuckling under her breath. 

“I'm sorry you had to see that, Fluttershy.” I said, and Fluttershy giggled. 

“You're funny when you get frustrated.” She said cutely, and her eyes cast themselves down in a come hither expression. 

“I've been frustrated for a very long time, you see.” I replied, trying to make every word sound as filthy as possible as I hovered back over my love's lithe frame, shrinking myself back down to a size her pony body could more easily handle, if you catch my drift. 

“Well, that's what I'm here for. After all, a true, true friend helps a friend in need.” How could such an innocent, timid pony like my Fluttershy make the concept of friendship sound so... dirty? 

“Mmm... hmmhmmhmm...” I rumbled in laughter through closed lips as I pressed them against her body once more. 

Now this... this made sense. And for once, I figured, there was finally some fun in making sense.