This story follows the events of Dysphoria, Arc 1: Introductions (though you don't have to read it to get this story). Evening Rose adjusts to life in Ponyville and meets new ponies while fighting her fears. Will they accept her? Will she?
With the mystery of her past revealed to the Mane 6, Evening Rose adjusts to living her life in Ponyville.
Struggles arise as she makes new friends and adjusts to the town under the weight of her secret. Will they come to accept her? Will she accept herself?
This Arc is finished but the story continues! Check out the rest in:
Ponyville’s Market Square was busier than usual. Winter was by no means close, but its presence loomed in the horizon like a shadow that would envelop the world in cold winds and white powder at its first opportunity. To the average ponyfolk this shadow was no more than an acquaintance, a distant relative or old college roommate that stopped in town every so often to rekindle the fires of nostalgia by giving one the excuse to indulge in the childhood comforts of snowball fights and hot chocolate by the fire, spurring distant memories/traditions, and (as they often did) overstaying their welcome while their hosts tried to get back to their jobs and responsibilities. This old dance was familiar to all ponies, especially around Hearth’s Warming Eve, and posed no more than a passing inconvenience around the time for Winter Wrap Up. Farmers were not so lucky.
For farmers, this looming shadow meant the end of their ability to harvest, and as such, posed as a more unwelcome visitor for them (like in-laws). For them, winter arrived uninvited (albeit expected), and proceeded to insult their livelihood, invade their homes, and make life stressful until their always inconveniently timed departure. However, the farmers of Ponyville had dealt with enough winters to have perfected a way to deal with the season. For example, all the farmers in Ponyville had finished their harvesting earlier that week in order to minimize the chance that an early snow would ruin any of their crops. They also did this so they would have time to count every part of their stock, and ration the amount each family would need to survive the winter. The rest of the stock would need to be sold as quickly as possible to avoid letting their produce go to waste.
The general ponyfolk, much like overly-aware neighbors, had long ago learnt to recognize the signs of the farmers’ winter preparations. They realized that in their struggle to get rid of all their surplus stock, farmers were willing to haggle and give discounts on apples, carrots, and whatever else they sold that would be unimaginable during the rest of the year. As such, the Market Square struggled to contain the influx of ponies trying to stock up on food items that they didn’t necessarily need, but might want at the lowest prices available. The frenzy of voices yelling over each other and the confusion caused by the sea of ponies, each trying to get the attention of the attending pony at each cart, would have made Discord proud. Not unexpectedly, each and every pony caught up in the pandemonium failed to notice the sweet smell of carrot stew wafting down the street.
The smell came from a house at the edge of the square, the house of a mare named Evening Rose. The outside of the house was nothing remarkable, just a small two-story house indiscernible from the houses at either side. The inside, however, had seen much change over the past few months. The walls of the house, which up until recently had been blank, now supported the weight of various frames containing pictures of Rose along with six very well-known ponies. Similar picture frames could be found on the previously bare shelves lining the living room wall, which also happened to contain gifts and various knickknacks Rose had either received or bought. All the furniture in the room sported a few scratches and one or two stains, which Rose had said she preferred to the store-ready condition it all had previously had. The way Rose figured, cuts and scratches on the furniture proved that it had been used, and served as reminders of the good times spent sitting, eating, and talking with good friends. In fact, the whole inside of the house had a worn appearance, with the exception of the newly repaired mirror at the bottom of the stairs, and Rose would have it no other way.
Upstairs one could find the master bedroom. Granted, it was the only bedroom, but Rose referred to it as the master bedroom regardless: one of those old habits from Canterlot she had yet to drop. The room was slightly messy, with various scarves, jackets, and skirts littering the floor. The walls of the room were bare in comparison to downstairs, with the only frame being for a large painting depicting the moon and the night sky against a Manehattan backdrop. Still, just because there were not any picture frames in the room it did not mean that there were not any pictures. Instead, these pictures were tacked onto a corkboard hung on the wall slightly above the level met by Rose’s work desk.
These pictures were different from the ones downstairs in two aspects. The first was obviously that they were not framed, instead being tacked directly onto the board. The second was that instead of each photo showing seven ponies doing an activity together, these photos showed Rose hanging out with each pony one-on-one. For example, there was a picture of Rarity and Rose at a fashion show when a designer had stopped at Ponyville to see the Carousel Boutique owned by Rarity, bringing his own models and designs with him. Next to it there were two pictures of Rainbow Dash and Rose after a Wonderbolts performance. Granted, they were mug shots; they had both been detained while trying to sneak into the athlete lounge after the performance, but Spitfire sorted everything out before they had been officially booked so it was ok. Next to those was a picture of Twilight and Rose reading from the same book, which was slightly above a picture of Pinkie Pie and Rose enjoying an “I’m glad you’re staying and that everything turned out ok in the end” cake. Other such pictures adorned the board, forming a grand collage showcasing Rose with each of her friends. She cherished these photos and the memories they represented immensely, which is why they were posted where she could gaze at them as she worked.
The work desk was scattered with both pages detailing ideas for the improvement of sales and profit at Sweet Apple Acres (which Rose had been preparing for Applejack to review), and pages of various poems she had written to share with Fluttershy over tea. A purple bag lay next to the desk, its usual spot in the closet being unusable due to the closet actually having clothes in it now. The bag contained a bag of bits, a few notebooks, a few quills, and a rather old and torn green dress she kept for sentimental reasons.
The last thing in the room was a bed on which Evening Rose sat. She was wearing a blue hoodie and a bluish purple skirt over her black coat. Her curled purple mane shined in the sunlight as she looked out the window, staring out into the market. She noticed Applejack dealing with a crowd of eager but rude customers. Rose could not make out what was being said over the steady roar of the swarm of shoppers yelling in the market, but she could tell she was arguing.
“Good job Applejack, don’t let them push you around,” thought Rose. “Make them earn that sale you’ve already decided to give them.”
What Applejack was doing was something that she and Rose had discussed beforehand. The idea was simple: act like you are really not going to budge on the prices and set the original price at 10% higher than the original “sale price” was going to be. Most ponies did not feel comfortable arguing for more than a 30% drop, meaning that there would only really be a 20% drop to the profit per apple, which was better than the farm had had in previous years. The key was acting.
Rose was enjoying watching Applejack’s performance, but her rumbling stomach distracted her away from the window.
“Well, it’s been twenty minutes since I turned off the heat on the stew to let it simmer,” thought Rose. “I should probably go downstairs and turn it back on so that it’s warm and ready to serve when Twilight gets here.” Rose took a deep breath, savoring the smell of carrot stew that now inundated every available space of her house. “She’ll probably be here soon.”
Suddenly Twilight’s pet owl flew in through the open window, perching on the work desk.
“Hey Owlicious, have a letter for me?” asked Rose, noticing the letter tied to his leg.
“Hoo.”
Rose untied the letter from the owl’s leg and began to read it.
To: Rose,
Hey, I’m sorry but I will be a little late to hang out tonight.
I have one more thing I need to do involving that thing I said I wanted to talk to you about. I promise I’ll head right over as soon as I’m done though.
I’ll tell you more when I see you.
-Twilight
P.S. Also, feel free to eat without me if you haven’t already, I’m sure you must be starving by now.
Rose re-read the letter, wondering what Twilight could possibly want to talk about. She then pulled out some parchment and wrote a reply.
To: Twilight
Don’t sweat it. Take as long as you need, I can wait.
Besides, it won’t be hunger that kills me if you take too long, it’ll be the suspense of what you want to talk about.
See you soon, ok?
-Rose
Rose then tied the letter to Owlicious’ leg.
“There you go, little guy. Tell Twilight I said hi.”
“Hoo.” Then the owl took the skies.
Rose sighed as her stomach grumbled again.
“Hm… I did just tell Twilight I’d wait for her. It’d probably be in bad form to start eating now. Still, if I’m going to make it till she gets here I’m going to need some distraction.” Rose looked at her purple bag sitting next to the desk and smiled. “I guess this is as good a time as any.”
From her bag she pulled out a notebook. Unlike the rest of her notebooks, this one was new, unopened, and unused. She grabbed a quill from her desk and then headed to her bed, reasoning that it’d be a better space for the writing she was about to do than the work desk. After taking a moment to make herself comfortable, she opened the notebook.
Despite her current occupation, Rose was a writer at heart, and as such she had long ago adopted the idea of always having a traveling notebook with her. This type of notebook was special in that she made it a point to carry it with her wherever she went. The pages would be filled with the unorganized writings of diary entries, poems, short stories, observations, and notes of whatever happened to be on her mind when inspiration struck. She would often look back through these notebooks when she found herself staring down writer’s block, finding that life experience was the best of inspirations.
Due to the events of the past few months, she had been too preoccupied to keep a notebook going, but now that life had settled down, she was eager to begin again. However, as she stared into the page she found herself lacking of words.
“Beginning is always the hardest part,” she thought to herself.
She thought for a couple of minutes on what to write before settling on an idea. She lowered the quill to the page.
Journal 1:
So this is the first entry on a new notebook and, as always, I’m not sure as to how to begin. I figured that a journal entry would be a good beginning as any. I must admit that I feel a bit guilty that I’m starting a new notebook, having never had the chance to finish the last one, but regardless of that guilt I must say it feels right. I am not the pony I was back then and, although that history belongs to me and I will use it for inspiration, it does not reflect the pony I have become. I am beginning my new life and as such, I need a new notebook.
So, what’s new?
I am living in Ponyville now. The move itself was a very big change for me; albeit one I did not have much of a choice in making. The small town is quaint when compared to the grandeur of Canterlot. It lacks the huge structures, the refined fashion, the nightlife, and the local library is maybe a 10th the size of the one at Canterlot University. And yet, I can’t help but feel like the town is all the better for it. The nights are quieter, the ponies are friendlier, and the town is more pleasant than most could imagine had they not lived here themselves... Yes, I’m still going on my midnight walks, but now they’re no longer an escape, they are simply walks in which I admire the beauty of Luna’s work.
Speaking of friendly ponies, while all the ponyfolk living here have shown to be friendly, I should mention that I was specifically thinking of six mares with whom I associate frequently now. That’s right, I’ve made friends.
My six new friends are Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Twilight, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie. The way I met them all is actually a pretty interesting story, which I must write about sometime in full detail. However, for now it will suffice to say that there was some confusion, some drama, and a lot of stress… But everything turned out ok. I have been spending a lot of time getting to know each of them individually and hanging out as a group, and I’m still blown away by how welcoming they have been since I arrived in town.
Let’s see, what else?
I’m still working for Applejack as a ‘business consultant’, improving the efficiency with which the Apples run Sweet Apple Acres. With winter fast approaching and the ending of the harvest season coming soon, I find that I’ve done about all I can do to fix the place, meaning I will need to find a new job soon. Still, it’s been a wonderful job and it will continue to be so for the few weeks I have left.
So, there’s no downside to my new life, right?
Well, kind of…
If I were to pick out the one problem in my life right now is that I’m lonely a lot.
For starters, I should mention that aside from my six friends, I have not yet met anypony in Ponyville face-to-face. I know who most of them are, having memorized the letters they left after the House Warming incident, but I’ve yet to actually introduce myself to anypony.
The first part of that problem is that I don’t really give them much of a chance to do so around town. Despite being surer of myself and being less afraid, I’m still terribly nervous about meeting new ponies, lest news of my survival run back to Canterlot and to my parents. I know it’s an irrational fear at this point, but I still find myself using the back streets and only going out at the hours that other ponies are normally at home to avoid running into anypony.
I also don’t really need to buy much since I buy most of my food from Applejack and all of my clothes from Rarity. That means that anything extra, like carrots, quills, and other necessities, are bought quickly and with little conversation. Still, I’m letting myself be seen by others more, even if it’s still minimal by a general public standard. Going to market, for example, to buy something that wasn’t apples was in and of itself an ordeal for me, but I did it.
The second problem is that if I want to meet ponies, I have to go to them, which I’m never inclined to do. It’s strange really; I know that ponies did not visit the house when Script lived here due to him being very shy, as Pinkie told all the residents. At her request they had all stayed clear of the house. However, she had made it a point to tell them that Script, whom none of them had ever met, had left Ponyville and that his sister would be taking over the place. And yet, not a soul outside of the usual six mares ever stopped by.
Rose stopped writing for a minute to gather her thoughts.
Having the girls around has been great and they are, by far, the best friends I could ask for. But it’s becoming more and more apparent that I can’t rely on them completely for company. For starters, they are the famous Elements of Harmony, something that had been failed to be brought up until the 4th dinner party they had attended. This means that they have responsibilities to the Princess which often take them away at random and for indiscriminate periods of time. Still, even if they didn’t have these tasks to undertake, they still have their own lives and responsibilities. As much as I would like to steal every free second of their time…
Rose paused and cast a guilty look out the window. She observed a very flustered Applejack arguing with another costumer, trying to secure an extra two bits for her family. Rose allowed her stare to stay steady for another second before returning to her notebook.
As much as I would like to steal every free second of their time, I feel like such minutes are in short supply, and I feel guilty enough taking up the ones they are willing to spare.
No, the answer is that I have to let go of my fears, get out there and make new friends. Not to replace the ones I have, but to add to them, and to do this I cannot sit here and wait for them to show up at my doorstep. I need to put myself out there and take risks, for better or worse. After all, taking risks is what got me here, and I feel like I’m doing alright.
There was a knock downstairs, tearing Rose away from her writing. She looked out the window and saw that the sun was far lower than she remembered it being.
“I’ll be down in a minute!” Rose yelled, as she quickly finished up her entry.
Well, Twilight is here to talk and eat dinner with me. She’s been hinting at a big surprise but I’m still confused as to it might be. In any case, that’s all I have to report on my new life. More to come as it happens.
Take care.
Oh, and one more thing, I’m finally starting to be ok with this whole transgender thing I’ve been dealing with for a while now. I’ve come out, again not quite by choice, to my six friends and they have been very accepting. I’m actually living as a mare full time now. I’ll have to write more on that whole thing later, but right now stew awaits me.
In any case, thank you for reading this future me, I hope I helped.
-Evening Rose
With that, Rose closed the book, placing it in her bag before heading downstairs.
“Time to see what this ‘surprise’ Twilight has been hinting at is all about.”
A full moon blessed the night sky, illuminating the world below as the stars struggled to match its brilliance. As was common for Ponyville, not many ponies were still outside, giving the night a calm silence that cradled the world’s sound in its own quiet symphony: a cricket chirping here, the rustling of trees there, and the whispers of candlelight there. The night had its own distinct smell, a combination of rain and grass, carried in cool currents from the nearby trees and nighttime dew. Rose normally found comfort in these and the many other wonders of the night, but there was no comfort to be found tonight as she went forth on her solitary trek down the all too familiar path to Twilight’s home. She was wearing a casual lavender dress and had her bag on her back, more packed than it usually tended to be. Inside this bag was a letter, and despite it being covered by the materials of the bag, Rose could imagine it clearly enough in her mind.
“Why is it that Twilight’s letters always cause me such stress,” she asked no one in particular. A cool breeze toyed with her mane but she was not in the right mindset to enjoy it. Her mind was still stuck at that conversation she had with Twilight at her house three days before.
Laughter rung out throughout Rose’s home as Twilight and her host attempted to regain control.
“So what happened next?” asked Rose in between deep breaths.
Twilight was clutching her chest and trying to fight back another batch of laughter.
“Fluttershy said, ‘but you're bigger than she is, and you should know better.’ I wish you could’ve seen the look on the dragon’s face!” laughed Twilight.
“Wow, you need to take me on one of your adventures sometime Twilight. I need better stories.”
“I would if I could tell apart the missions that will create funny stories and the ones that would probably kill us before we got there.”
“Point taken,” said Rose. The two sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments. Rose enjoyed moments like this, the calm silences that spoke louder than any noise ever could. She looked at Twilight, thinking of how just a few months ago the silence between them had been of a completely different sort.
“Funny how things evolve,” she thought to herself, allowing a soft smile to form on her lips. She then got up and started collecting the empty plates from the table, taking them to the kitchen. Twilight got up as well.
“Oh, please let me help.”
“No no,” responded Rose, “you are the guest and I am the hostess. When you are the host you can inconvenience yourself all you want but right now it’s my job.”
“Well, thank you for the wonderful dinner,” Twilight said, “That stew was simply delicious.”
“You’re welcome, Twi. You can take some home if you want, we’ve got some left over,” Rose said, checking the serving dish.
“No, that’s ok,” Twilight said. “However, speaking of playing hostess; I do believe that it’s my turn to host one of our little get-togethers, right?”
Rose looked around her own house as if making sure of where she was.
“It would appear so, yes.”
“Well, I believe I know what it’s going to be,” Twilight said, pulling out a small envelope. Rose eyed the envelope with suspicion, taking it but then finding herself unwilling to open it.
“What is this, Twilight?”
“That thing I wanted to talk to you about,” Twilight responded, allowing herself a smirk.
“Oh, so we’re finally talking about it.” Rose continued to stare at the envelope. Never before had she wished more for the ability to see through solid objects. “Well, what if I don’t want to open it?”
“Oh,” Twilight said with mock concern. “Then I guess you’ll just never know what was written inside it, or what I wanted to talk to you about.” Twilight eyed Rose with a confident smirk. Rose gave in, opened the envelope, took out the letter within it, and began to read.
The effects were instantaneous.
Rose’s eyes widened while her mouth hung slightly agape. After reading the letter, Rose turned to look at Twilight with fear in her eyes.
“You’re serious?”
“Completely.”
“But I’m…”
“One of my really good friends and a wonderful mare that I like hanging out with,” Twilight interrupted her, giving her a disapproving glare. After a second, her eyes softened.
“Look, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. I know how nervous you get,” Twilight said. “But I would really love for you to be there, and I’m sure the others would love to meet you.”
Rose looked up from the letter she had been re-reading at that.
“Others meet me? Who’s going to be there?” Rose asked.
Twilight thought for a second.
“Well, I haven’t actually gotten responses yet, but some ponies you haven’t met yet. In fact, you and I are going to be the only ones from our small little group that will be in attendance,” said Twilight, before adding, “That is, if you decide to go.”
“I’m guessing the rest are busy preparing for winter?”
“Yes, more or less.”
Rose thought about it, staring at the letter again. Every part of her told her that agreeing would be a mistake. Yes, one should take risks in order to make new friends; but there was a difference between taking risks and being outright reckless. Still, she couldn’t help but think of the journal entry she had just written in her notebook an hour ago.
“I did say I needed to change things and to make efforts to make new friends,” she thought to herself. “Yeah, this is a way bigger risk than I had wanted to take, but it is a perfect chance to start getting to know the ponies of Ponyville. Besides, this is Twilight’s idea. She wouldn’t lead you to harm, right?”
Rose turned to look at Twilight. She had a nervous smile on her face and was obviously trying to show that she would be ok with whatever Rose chose. But she would not. She wanted Rose there. Rose could tell. Despite her fears and reservations, Rose managed to speak the hardest sentence she had had to speak in weeks.
“Ok Twilight, I’ll go to your sleepover.”
“I hope I made the right choice,” said Rose. She was now standing directly outside of Twilight’s home. She could see lights pouring out of the windows and could hear the sound of voices on the other side of the door. As far as she knew, no one knew she was there yet. She raised her front hoof to knock but then brought it back down without touching the door.
She was still afraid and nervous. Despite her best efforts, Rose could not help calculating all the ways in which this sleepover was a horrible idea.
First was the fact that there would be other mares there, since the invitation specifically said it was a mare-only party. She was already paranoid of being outed in normal social situations, which was part of the reason she avoided them. She was not confident in her ability to pass and was certain somepony would notice and point her out to the world as a transpony. However, here was the added threat that if she were outed at a mare-only event, the mares might react aggressively or panic.
Second was the fact that she had never been to a sleepover period. This meant that even if she could somehow pass in regards to what people saw, she probably could not pass in regards to what people did. Social norms for social events are learnt through going to those events with one’s peers. Having never had that opportunity meant that there was always a chance of doing something that could out her to the others.
Third was the fact that it was not only her who would suffer if she got outed. She could lie and say that Twilight did not know she was trans, but Twilight would argue back against that… she would not let Rose be the only one in trouble. Twilight obviously trusted Rose to do things right, otherwise she would not have put her own reputation on the line like this, but Rose was not sure she would be able to do so. She was scared.
Rose sighed. She wished that the others could be here to help her through this, not that she didn’t know what they would say. In fact, she had spoken to them about this very thing in the two days between when she found out and today. Rarity simply assured her that she would be fine and that she worried too much. Rainbow Dash and Applejack said that she was ‘the most feminine filly this side of Rarity!’ and therefore should have no trouble passing. Fluttershy reminded her that, it being Twilight’s sleepover, Twilight would be there to make sure she was safe.
She had not been able to talk to Pinkie, since she was at home visiting her family at their rock farm, but Rose had received a letter from a carrier pigeon with the words "you’ll be fine, just remember to have fun" written on it, so she assumed Pinkie knew.
The temperature started dropping, with the wind picking up some the longer she waited.
“No sense in postponing this longer.”
She knocked.
After a few seconds wait, Twilight opened the door with a bright smile and wide eyes.
“Rose! I’m so glad you could make it. Oh! I love the dress. Rarity?” asked Twilight. Rose just smiled and nodded, the fear in her stomach rendering her mute. “Well, come right in, everypony else is already here.” The two mares stepped inside.
On the floor of the library there were six sleeping bags arranged in a loose cluster. The library also had a collection of cushions and chairs that Rose had not really seen before, as well as a table of snacks and drinks. It also contained the other party guests, to whom Rose was introduced to by Twilight.
“Let’s see,” Twilight said as she walked towards one of her guests. She was a white unicorn with blue hair and violet shades. At the moment she was setting up what looked like a very elaborate sound system. “Rose, this is Vinyl Scratch. Vinyl, this is Evening Rose.”
“Pleasure to meet you Rose,” Vinyl said, taking a break from setting up the speakers.
“Likewise,” said Rose, eyeing the speakers. “I take it you’re a DJ?”
“Yeah,” responded Vinyl, tapping her speaker system. “I normally only bring this baby out for shows, but I figured we could use some music while in here and the movie is going to sound awesome once I get this set up.”
Twilight looked at Vinyl with concern on her face, knowing exactly how loud that particular speaker system could get, but decided against saying anything. Instead she walked Rose to where two other ponies sat. One was a mint-green unicorn with a white and green mane playing a lyre, while the other, an earth pony with a beige coat and a blue and rose pink mane, listened.
“That’s a really pretty song,” said Rose as she approached. The unicorn stopped playing and turned to face her with a smile.
“Thank you! I’m Lyra and this here is Bon Bon,” she said, pointing at the beige pony. “I don’t think we’ve met before.”
“My name is Evening Rose, or Rose for short. I’m fairly new,” said Rose.
“Evening Rose, huh?” said Lyra. “Hm... I got it! ER for short!”
Bon Bon rolled her eyes.
“Don’t mind her Rose; she’s just a little eccentric at times. And you,” she said, turning to face Lyra, “you heard her tell you her nickname, so why would you go making a new nickname for her?”
“Because it’s fun riling you up?” said Lyra. Bon Bon scowled but Rose and Twilight could not help but laugh.
Twilight then led Rose to a grey pegasus with a blond mane standing next to the food table.
“Rose, this is Ditzy Doo. Ditzy, this is Evening Rose.”
The mare swallowed the muffin she had been eating before responding.
“Oh, hi! Nice to meet you, Rose. You can call me Derpy,” she said. That name and her wayward eye jogged something in Rose’s memories.
“Oh! I remember you. You are the mailmare! You and your daughter Dinky wrote that letter.” Derpy stared at her with confusion.
“Um… What letter?” Rose was about to clarify when she caught her mistake, and quickly worked to revise it.
“Oh, I’m Script’s sister. I took over his house after he left to go to Manehattan. He showed me the letters before he left so that I would know the ponies in town.” Rose waited anxiously for a response from Derpy, with Twilight ready to step in if needed.
“That was very nice of him! I’m sorry he couldn’t stay, but I’m at least glad I got to meet you and that you’re not as shy as he is.” Derpy smiled. Rose let go of a breath she did not know she had been holding. Twilight smiled and allowed herself a sigh of relief. She then mingled, keeping an eye on things but making sure to keep conversations going, allowing the invited ponies to do the same.
As soon as Vinyl was done setting up her speakers and the movie playing system, the ponies arranged the chairs and watched a horror movie about a ghost that attacked ponies in their sleep in Luna’s absence. Vinyl had been right in that her sound system would make the movie sound amazing. Enhanced by her audio equipment, every low rumble and every soft echo was enhanced to truly immerse the audience in sound. More than once did a pony (usually Twilight, Rose, or Bon Bon) scream in terror while Lyra and Vinyl laughed maniacally.
After the movie ended Vinyl put her party playlist through the speaker system, so dubbed because she could enjoy the party instead of working the turntables. It lasted long enough to allow the ponies to talk, socialize, and dance to their hearts’ content before a single track replayed; as such, the ponies talked, danced, and partied for hours.
Once they had all had their fill of music, the ponies helped Vinyl tear down her equipment and pack it up (since the most technical instruction needed was ‘unplug everything carefully and place it over there’), after which they made smores. Derpy, Rose, and Vinyl managed to do so without any difficulty. In fact, Derpy showcased an amazing talent at making perfect smores every time, both in shape and consistency. Twilight, Bon Bon, and Lyra, however, had no such luck. After their attempt at a scientifically perfect smore ended up in an explosion of chocolate, Derpy volunteered to make their smores for them.
Eventually the eating of smores ended and the group found themselves sitting in a circle. Well, most of them were sitting, with the exception of Lyra, who was walking around on her back legs as Twilight counted down.
“5, 4, 3, 2, 1… Augh!” Lyra smiled.
“Told you I could do it!”
Twilight removed a point from her own score and added one to Lyra’s before responding.
“Yeah, I should’ve known something was up when Bon Bon started laughing hysterically,” she said, eyeing Bon Bon, who merely shrugged. “Anyway, it’s your turn.”
Lyra looked around, grinning widely as she made her choice. “Bon Bon! Truth or Dare?”
“Truth,” the mare responded.
Lyra scoffed. “You’re no fun.”
Bon Bon simply smiled.
“Fine… Umm, well… What is your most prized possession?”
Bon Bon smiled.
“You know perfectly well what that is, Lyra.”
Lyra smiled sheepishly. “I didn’t know what else to ask, I panicked.”
Bon Bon rolled her eyes.
“Well, for the benefit of those who aren’t Lyra, it is this!” Bon Bon pulled out a notebook. One could tell by looking at it that it was old, but it looked to be kept in perfect condition. “This has every candy recipe of mine and every candy experiment I’ve ever tried. It contains years of trial and error towards making the best sweets in Equestria.”
They all eyed the notebook with curiosity while the same thought crossed their minds.
“If what she’s saying is true, that notebook is worth its weight in gold, which could buy a lot of chocolate.”
Then Derpy yawned.
Twilight turned to look at Derpy and then looked out the window, seeing the position of the moon in its arc.
“I think now is a good a time as any to get some sleep,” Twilight said.
All the ponies began their nighttime preparations, with Rose going to Twilight’s restroom to change into pajamas, and it was not long at all before they were all in their own sleeping bags. They all wished each other goodnight. Twilight then used her magic to turn off the lights.
Rose walked down the barely lit hallway until she reached the wooden door at the end.
She knocked.
“Come in.”
She walked inside and noticed a too familiar scene. Her dad was working at his desk while her mom read a newspaper on her bed.
Rich Rhyme, her father, turned to look at her with nothing but disgust and contempt on his face.
He walked up to her.
This time she did not close her eyes as stood next to her, turned around, positioned his hooves, and kicked.
Rose awoke with cold sweat running down her face. She immediately noticed that, even in her sleeping bag, she had been grabbing her front right leg with her left, hoof resting at the joint. She sighed.
She had been having those dreams ever since the incident. The problem was that she would have them for a while, get used to them, and then they would stop, only to surprise her once she had let her guard down.
She looked around, making sure she had not accidentally awakened any of the sleeping ponies. After giving the room a sweeping look she ascertained that all the ponies were asleep, with the exception of one. From her sleeping bag Vinyl Scratch was staring at Rose with a pensive expression.
The two mares maintained eye contact for a few moments, each appraising the other and trying to read the other’s thoughts. After a while, Vinyl got up and walked over to the door, motioning for Rose to follow. Rose watched as Vinyl used her magic on the door, opening it without making a single sound, before stepping outside. Rose got up and followed.
Once Rose was outside, Vinyl used her magic to soundlessly close the door again. She then used her magic to envelop the entire library before turning to face Rose.
“How did you do that? What did you do?”
Vinyl smiled.
“Soundproof spells. One of the great things about understanding sound the way I do is that I can make spells that cut out sounds as well as make them. We can talk now without worrying about waking the others. Now,” she said, taking a breath before continuing. “Is there something you’d like to tell me?”
Rose was caught unaware by this question.
“Um… no, not really; you’re the one that asked me outside. Do you have something you’d like to tell me?”
Vinyl gave her an appraising look before responding.
“Did you know you talk in your sleep?”
Rose’s eyes widened. She tried to recall her dream, thinking of anything she might have said that could’ve given her away. To her relief, all she could remember saying in the dream was her cries for help.
“Still,” she thought, “Better to play it defensively.”
“Oh I do?” she said to Vinyl “That’s very strange.”
Vinyl stared at the moon for a short while before speaking again.
“Yeah… it is,” she finally said. “Especially since you talked in a voice that was much deeper than the voice you use while awake.”
A shock ran down Rose’s spine as she realized the implication of the statement. As if to cement the point, Vinyl chose this moment to turn back to face Rose.
“Script never really left town, did he?”
Rose’s heart beat frantically against her chest, as if attempting to break free. She looked away from Vinyl to stop her from being able to see the tears forming in her eyes.
“It’s done,” Rose thought to herself. “I knew coming here was a bad idea… I should run; I should hide. Twilight will understand if I just fly away right now before things get worse.”
Vinyl must have noticed Rose’s intentions because she soon started speaking in a soothing tone.
“Look, you don’t have to worry; I just want to talk ok?”
Rose turned to look at her. She was very much still panicking and in no state to talk, but she was listening, so Vinyl continued.
“First off I want to tell you that it wasn’t obvious. If I hadn’t heard you myself I wouldn’t have believed it. I’m assuming Twilight knows?”
Rose nodded, still being unable to speak.
“That makes sense,” said Vinyl. “I saw her keeping a close eye on you and stepping in whenever you started to look flustered all night. I didn’t know what it was about, kind of figured she had a crush on you or something, but I guess she was protecting you.”
Vinyl stared at Rose as she struggled to slow down her heartbeat. Eventually she calmed down to the point that she could speak.
“So… you’re not mad?” asked Rose.
“Mad?” replied Vinyl. “Are you kidding? Of course I’m not mad; you’re a lot of fun! If I’m mad about anything it’s that when I asked you what your biggest secret was in truth or dare, this didn’t come up. I could’ve won had I known you were keeping something like this hidden. It’s ok though, I know you have your reasons for not telling.”
Rose brightened up at this and followed Vinyl as she walked back towards the library. However, before turning off the soundproofing spell, Vinyl turned to look at Rose again.
“I just want you to know that your secret safe with me, ok? Also, you make a beautiful mare.”
Vinyl then turned off the spell and headed inside with Rose not far behind her.
Rose got into her sleeping bag and was soon fast asleep, this time receiving far more restful dreams.
The morning sun shone through the window, warmly illuminating the inside of the library in which the ponies slept, and it continued to do so even when the library was consumed by a hurried frenzy in the shape of un-brushed manes, frantic cleaning/packing, and overslept ponies.
Each of the invited ponies packed up their belongings, looking for anything they may be missing, while also assisting Twilight in the cleaning of the library. This resulted in a lot of crashes between a lot of easily distracted and preoccupied ponies. The latest of these crashes was between Rose and Bon Bon.
“I’m sorry,” both mares yelled as all their belongings crashed onto the floor. Bon Bon had been distracted by Twilight’s voice, while Rose had been watching the spectacle of Derpy attempting to remove melted marshmallow from her mane instead of watching where she was going. However, despite both mares apologizing, their minds were not on whose fault it was, but rather in collecting their belongings as quickly as possible.
“Here, I can clean this up!” they both yelled again.
Soon everything had been picked up. Rose, however, was the only one to notice the notebook by the stairs.
“Hey Bon Bon!” Rose yelled. “I found your notebook!” Bon Bon hurried over.
“Thank you soo much for noticing it! I don’t know what I would’ve done without it. In my mind it was already in my bag so I wouldn’t have noticed until I had an order to fill,” said Bon Bon.
“It’s no problem, though I’m honestly starting to wonder why I gave it back to you so early. I could’ve made myself some candy first at least,” Rose said. Bon Bon laughed.
Pretty soon the library was spotless and Twilight officially declared this sleepover a success, murmuring something about having had fewer mishaps than the last one. None of the ponies present understood what she meant, but they cheered anyway, after which they exchanged goodbyes before heading home.
“Goodbye Twilight, thank you for the awesome sleepover!” said Bon Bon as she walked home with Lyra, not noticing that there was an extra traveling notebook inside her bag along for the ride.
The house that Lyra and Bon Bon shared was far less spacious on the inside than most would normally assume. The place itself was big enough, it being a two-story, two-bedroom house, making it one of the more spacious homes in Ponyville. That is, unless you counted Lyra’s stuff.
The walls of the house were almost completely covered by the many bookshelves that crowded the apartment. Each bookshelf was packed to the brim with books on a variety of subjects ranging from history, philosophy, and mythology. Most ponies would not think it, but Lyra was an avid scholar of many things, often doing research on one subject or another, and while she had not read as many books as Twilight had, she could have given her a run for her bits. Still, the price of information was paid in living space, with each new book or archeological relic encroaching onto the already-populated home.
For most this would make the house feel uncomfortably crowded or even claustrophobic, but Bon Bon did not mind at all. Bon Bon liked Lyra the best when she was excited about doing research. The way she worked, how much she loved the labor, the pure passion for knowledge and understanding: all of these were the treasures that made living with Lyra wonderful. The vast number of books, the papers scattered on the floor, and the occasional experimental “invention” all served as reminders. However, as Bon Bon sat on her couch that day, the room may as well have been empty for all the things she noticed. After all, she had a lot on her mind.
When Bon Bon arrived earlier that day, she was in very high spirits. The sleepover had been fantastic and, despite the rough start to the day, she felt energized and ready to take on the world. As such, she decided that she would try out a new candy creation as soon as she got things back in order. Lyra headed upstairs while Bon Bon proceeded to dump the contents of her bag on the couch, taking care to put everything back to where it belonged. The process itself only took about 30 minutes, meaning that all that was left was for her to grab her notebook and head into the kitchen to work. She never got that far.
Lying in front of her were not one, but two identical notebooks. She stared at them in confusion, and almost fear, as she tried to figure out where the second notebook had come from. With caution she lifted the older looking notebook on the left, opening it to check the inside covers. She allowed herself a sigh of relief. This was her book.
Having tackled the first question (“which, if either, of the two is my book?”), she settled on the second question.
“To whom does this second book belong?” Bon Bon asked herself.
As she had done with her own book, she checked the inside covers, but noticed no identifying marks or signatures. She carefully glanced over the pages and noticed that only the first three pages had any writing in them at all. She closed the book.
“Hm… This book is fairly new and has barely even been written in,” she mused. “Must be awful to lose something so new. And yet, without knowing who you belong to… How can I return you?”
She stared at the book, evaluating her choices before taking a deep breath.
“Only one way to try to figure it out,” she said, opening the book to the first page.
She began to read.
That had been hours ago. Now, Bon Bon sat in shock, not knowing what to think. On the one hoof she had figured out who the book belonged to, but on the other she had also figured out quite a lot more.
“I can’t believe this,” she muttered to herself. “And I was sleeping right next to... We all were, hanging out all night, and that entire time…and none of us knew! A stallion in a room full of mares and none of us knew! None of us except…” She stared at the book bitterly. “none of us except Twilight.”
Bon Bon took a few deep breaths trying to calm her anger, but she was not very successful. If she was honest with herself, Bon Bon was not completely sure why it bothered her so much, although she had a couple of good ideas.
There was the fact that it was not natural. Colts and fillies were born colts and fillies and grew into stallions and mares respectively. There was no changing halfway through the process. There was also the fact that Twilight was indulging what seemed to Bon Bon like a mental perversion that should be treated. She did not blame Rose, or Script, or whoever it was for how it felt. The pony could not help itself; it had a problem. However, the problem had to be treated: not tolerated, not coddled, and certainly not rewarded. Lastly was the fact that aside from indulging this perversion, Twilight had put her and the rest of the girls at the sleepover in danger without their knowledge.
A small part of her brain told her that maybe this should not bother her as much as it did, but the problem was that it did bother her. It bothered her very much.
Suddenly, Lyra began to walk down the stairs.
“Hey, look. I’ve been upstairs thinking for the last 30 minutes but I honestly cannot think of what it was I did. However, I am really sorry I did it and if you explain to me what I did wrong, I’ll make sure it never happens again.”
“What?” asked a confused Bon Bon.
“Well, you’ve been down here by yourself, sitting on that couch, staring a hole into that bookshelf. You usually only do that when I get you really mad and haven’t apologized, so that’s what I came to do. I’m sorry I made you mad and I’m sorry I don’t know what I did, but I promise to make it better.”
Bon Bon stared in confusion, and then allowed a small laugh to escape her lips, despite her current mood.
“Oh sweetie, it’s not that. I mean, I am mad, but not at you.”
Lyra looked at her inquiringly.
“Well, if not me… then who?” Lyra asked.
Bon Bon thought about the question before answering.
“Twilight… and Rose too I guess, for lying to us, and putting us in danger, and for playing this sick game they’re playing.”
Where before had been intrigue, Lyra now sported outright confusion.
“Ok, I’m obviously missing something,” she said. “What is it?”
Bon Bon passed her the notebook. Lyra read it fairly quickly, but re-read it two more times to make sure she was not misinterpreting anything. Once she was done with that she looked up at Bon Bon.
“Ok, I’m still missing it.”
Bon Bon looked confused; then a thought struck her.
“Oh right, you probably didn’t come across this in your readings, since yours are usually more academic and not really about psychology. Here, let me explain. Transponies are ponies who are born in one gender, but have a mental affliction that makes them believe they want to be the opposite gender.”
Bon Bon looked at Lyra as she struggled to understand.
“No, I know what transponies are; they’ve come up in some of my books. I’m just missing what the big deal is and why you want to go yell at Twilight and Rose is all.”
Bon Bon stared in disbelief but recovered quickly and responded.
“The problem is that the pony we were introduced to last night as ‘Rose’ at the all-mare sleepover was actually a stallion. Twilight is indulging his mental condition, and put us in danger in the process.” said Bon Bon, hoping that Lyra now understood.
“How were we in danger?” Lyra asked.
“Twilight let it sleep in the same room with us. It’s bad enough that Twilight is enabling its wants, we don’t know what it could’ve done to us.” replied Bon Bon.
“But she didn’t do anything.”
“But it could have. We know that it has a mental problem, we don’t know what others it might have.”
Bon Bon thought understanding finally showed on Lyra’s face, and was thus surprised to hear her response.
“I don’t think she has a problem.”
“What? Of course he has a problem. He’s a stallion that wants to be a mare. It’s unnatural, it’s wrong.” Bon Bon said, almost pleading for Lyra to understand.
“You’re sounding just like your parents did when we started dating.”
This took Bon Bon aback.
“No, this is different. What you and I have is a love between two ponies that doesn’t distinguish between genders. What he’s doing is trying to redefine what it means to be a mare, going against nature because something in his brain told him he’s a different gender. He needs help.”
“See, I still don’t think there’s anything wrong with her.”
“How can you not believe there’s something wrong with him? He thinks he was born into the wrong body; the freak thinks that is something that could happen and he’s convinced about it. How is that not wrong?”
Bon Bon practically yelled that line in desperation.
“Why does she not understand?” Bon Bon asked herself while staring at the cup of tea on her table. She could no longer see Lyra in her peripheral but as Bon Bon drank a sip of tea, she could tell there was some movement going on behind her. Something was off.
“Do you think there’s something wrong with me?”
Once again, Bon Bon was taken aback by the question.
“This conversation isn’t about you sweetie,” replied Bon Bon.
“Just answer it. Do you think there’s something wrong with me?” There was a steely, barely concealed cry in her voice. Something was very off.
“Of course not, I love you. Why would you even…” she stumbled on her words for a second as she registered the sight that greeted her when she turned around, understanding showing on Bon Bon’s face. “… say that?”
Next to the stairs in front of her was Lyra, standing on two legs.
“You know that’s not what I meant, Lyra,” stammered Bon Bon.
“Yes, but it’s what you said.”
“You’re different though,” said Bon Bon.
“Really? ‘Cause you said that those who feel that they were born in the wrong body are freaks, that there is something wrong with them.” said Lyra, not bothering to cover up the hurt in her voice.
“What does that make me, Bon Bon? You know this is not just some parlor trick I learnt to win points in truth or dare. You know my research of “mythology” and all the inventions I try are works towards the end goal of trying to rectify a mistake I feel nature made.” Tears were openly flowing from her eyes as she spoke. “I feel like nature made a mistake with me too! So what does that make me?”
Bon Bon stared for a second, before moving closer and pulling Lyra into a tight hug, tears falling from her eyes as well.
“It makes you my loving, wonderful, beautiful Lyra, a creature so breathtaking, that I can’t help but love you no matter what species you believe you are or end up being.” Bon Bon sobbed a little on her marefriend’s shoulder before continuing. “I’m sorry, Lyra, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. You know that I think you’re the most amazing pony in all of Equestria… and if you ever become another species, then you’ll be the most perfect one of that species in all of Equestria too.”
Lyra and Bon Bon cried into each other for a while longer before Lyra asked the next obvious question that came to her mind.
“What makes me different to her?”
Bon Bon thought about it for a hard while.
“I don’t know.”
Suddenly there was a knock at the door.
Both Bon Bon and Lyra stared at the door for a minute, as if unsure of what the sound meant.
“Who do you think it is?” asked Bon Bon.
"Well, if this notebook is as important to Rose as your notebook is to you, I have a good idea of who it could be.”
There was a knock again.
“We should answer it,” Bon Bon said.
“No,” replied Lyra, “You should answer it. I’m going upstairs, but you two have something you need to talk about.”
She then headed upstairs.
To say that Evening Rose was in a panic was an understatement. Currently, her house looked like a hurricane had hit it; every drawer was open and belongings were scattered all over every surface area available. The master bedroom was, for that matter, worse since that is where the majority of the searching had occurred, which had caused the hurricane-level destruction of all organization at the Rose household.
Rose would have given up sooner had the notebook not had such sensitive information in it. However, after hours of searching, she had come up empty-hooved and was ready to give up, sensitive information leak or not.
“I cannot believe I lost it,” said Rose. “I imagine this is what Bon Bon would feel if she had left her notebook behind at the library.”
She stopped for a second. “No…”
That is all she said before rushing out the door.
Now she stood outside what Twilight assured her was Lyra’s and Bon Bon’s house. She had been nervous after her first knock yielded no response but, after her second knock, a very flushed Bon Bon opened the door.
“Hey Bon Bon, listen, I may have accidentally given you my travelling notebook by mistake. If I could please have it back, I’ll be out of your way.” Rose smiled hopefully, trying to disguise the worry in her voice.
Bon Bon only sighed.
“Come in Rose, we need to talk.”
The two mares sat on some cushions at opposite sides of a table. Bon Bon was doing her best to calm down and gather her thoughts, knowing that what she wanted to address was a touchy subject and it would need to be handled with tact. Rose was aware of her discomfort and decided to let her gaze wander around the house rather than remaining on the ponderous-looking mare.
Rose was impressed by the sheer number of books the house contained. Neither Lyra nor Bon Bon had struck her as scholars, but whomever these books belonged to certainly was. The vast number of topics on physics, aerodynamics, mythology, history, and mechanics, to name a few, adorning the shelves pointed to an intellect capable of learning a bit of everything and classifying it in a way that made sense.
“Not only classifying, but also applying the knowledge it seems,” Rose thought to herself, noticing what seemed to be a variety of mechanical contraptions and experimental prototypes. Rose didn’t understand what any of them were or what they were supposed to do, and that was intriguing enough to catch her attention. Or at least they would have been on any other today. However, as much as she wanted to know who owned which books, who made the prototypes, and what the prototypes did, such questions never came. Instead, worry reasserted itself, and she could not help but turn back to face her host.
The room was enveloped in an uncomfortable silence.
Bon Bon could not postpone the conversation any longer, and instead broke the stillness.
“Here’s your notebook,” she said, handing Rose her book.
“Oh thank you, I’m so glad I found it before…”
“I read it,” said Bon Bon, cutting her off.
Rose could feel the knot in her stomach tighten.
“Oh,” was all she managed to say.
And so, both mares sat in silence again, unsure of how to continue the conversation. Rose was doing her best to calm her heart rate and her breathing. After all, she had been found out by somepony else already and it had turned out ok. In fact, everypony who had found out about her had been nothing but accepting and supportive.
Rose studied Bon Bon’s gaze, looking for any similarities between her expression and the understanding smile she had received from Vinyl Scratch. There were none, but the expression was familiar nonetheless. She had last seen it in Canterlot. Cautiously she spoke.
“I take it you don’t approve,” she said.
Bon Bon looked at her, restraining her thoughts.
“No, I do not.” Bon Bon said, narrowing her eyes. Again the two sat in silence, both wanting to say more but being unsure of what to say. Again, Rose took the lead.
“So, what are you going to do now?”
Rose braced herself for the answer. Bon Bon did not strike Rose as a violent pony, and even if she was Rose was sure she could evade her. No, what worried Rose was how Bon Bon could damage her life rather than her body. They were not exactly close friends, having just met at the sleepover, and therefore, if Bon Bon wanted to spread the news, try to have her committed for examination, or anything else, there was little Rose could do to stop her.
“I don’t know,” said Bon Bon. Her posture dropped, suddenly looking (and feeling) more tired than she had ever felt in her life. “I really don’t know.”
Rose was surprised by her reaction, but did not voice her confusion, allowing Bon Bon to continue.
“A few minutes ago I wanted nothing more than to yell at you and Twilight over this. You were in a room full of mares at a mare-only sleepover and none of us knew.” Bon Bon’s voice faltered for a second but then recovered. “You and Twilight knew though, and lied about it. I wanted to yell at both of you, for keeping this from everypony, for indulging…THIS,” she yelled, gesturing at Rose. Rose simply stared as Bon Bon continued.
“But I can’t yell at you…” she said, eyes downcast. “It’s not your fault if you feel the way you do, and you aren’t doing it for anything bad… Twilight was just being a good friend to you. I can’t fault either of you for that.”
She took a deep breath.
“I still don’t approve, though. I think it’s unnatural, I think it’s wrong.”
She stared at Rose with a cold glare. “You need help.”
She let her gaze stand for a second before allowing it to drop.
“And yet, it’s really not my place is it? To approve or disapprove,” she said. “If you think you’re a mare, then I have no authority to tell you that you aren’t. I can’t tell you what you feel isn’t real, or isn’t right… No matter how much I disapprove of it.” She absentmindedly stared at the staircase as she continued.
“You’re also not the only one with secrets or quirks. Not by far. And in my experience, those quirks can be the most wonderful thing about a pony. It often is what makes them shine, and those quirks are as much a part of them as anything else about them. It often is who they are.”
There was a pause, allowing Rose to speak without interrupting.
“So what does this mean?” Rose asked.
Again, Bon Bon measured her words before answering.
“It means that I won’t tell anypony your secret. It means that I won’t report you, or yell at you, or do anything against you.” This calmed Rose a bit.
Bon Bon continued.
“I haven’t known you for long, but all I know about you is that you’re a good pony who has not done anything to deserve being ostracized. I don’t approve of your choice, and I don’t think I ever will. But I can at least promise that I won’t judge you for how you live your life.”
“There’s a lot that I’m not sure of still, and a lot I disagree with. But I still want to be your friend.”
As Bon Bon finished speaking, Rose could not help but smile.
“I’d like that Bon Bon. Thank you.”
The conversation that followed was a lot more relaxed, with each of the mares talking about their plans for the week before agreeing to meet for lunch two days from then. After saying their goodbyes, Rose left.
Bon Bon came back inside and closed the door, sitting on the couch while thinking of her conversation. She felt good about herself but was also confused, going over the conversation she had just had. She was so lost in thought that she did not notice Lyra had come downstairs until she wrapped Bon Bon in a gentle hug.
“You were listening?” asked Bon Bon.
“Every word.”
“Did I do things right, Lyra?”
Lyra smiled softly before responding.
“You did fine, Bon Bon. I’m extremely proud of you.”
Lyra nuzzled Bon Bon’s neck, both enjoying the warm embrace, and quietly hoping that the moment would never have to end.
Rose was in a foul mood as she looked over the pages she was reviewing at Sweet Apple Acres. Her job today was simply to check over the status of tools, decide which tools should be replaced, and in what time frame they should be replaced, in order to get the most use out of their current equipment without having it break at a time when they really needed it. Unlike the tasks Rose had undertaken for the farm in the past, this was of minimal importance. At worst, she would find that there is no way to ascertain a replacement schedule, meaning that tools would have to be replaced when they broke and not before. At best, this would increase profits and farm workability by a small fraction of a percent. To put it bluntly, this work was meaningless. However, it was not the pointless task she was currently engaged in that upset her, but what it represented.
At this moment in time, this was the most crucial task that she could do, having long since fixed all the major problems in the farm and optimized the farm’s operation to its full capacity. In a week, there would literally be nothing else she could do for the farm ever again. Work would not even resume once the planting season started, since Rose had optimized the year-round working of the farm, and had taught Applejack how to deal with unforeseen problems in the same way she would. By this time next week, she would need to have a new job.
Rose sighed, taking a break from figuring out a “general rusting rate constant” to use as an average to examine her thoughts.
If she was honest with herself, Rose was not really upset that her employment at Sweet Apple Acres was coming to a close. From the very beginning she had known that this was a temporary deal and she had been very aware that every completed task brought her closer to the end of that temporary period. She loved working at the farm and having the Apples as her bosses, but she was emotionally and cognizably prepared to leave. No – what really bothered her is that she was running out of time without another job lined up.
Rose had started searching for a new job about three weeks back, trying to get something lined-up in advance. However, she had found that work was hard to come by. Or rather, work that she was qualified for. Ponyville was a small town, and as such most businesses were small, little family-run stores; still, Rose had managed to find a few job openings, to which she applied. The problem then was that there was very little demand in Ponyville for a writer or scribe. Instead, most jobs were geared towards earth ponies (since their strength and their sturdy frames made them ideal for construction jobs), or required specialized knowledge (like knowing how to design carts and the such). What had originally been a minor setback turned into a major problem once she reached her last week, still jobless.
She went back to work, using a placeholder percentage for the rust constant. Eventually she figured out a tentative schedule for the replacement of plows. Next she had to figure out if it really was worth the extra three bits to buy an oak-handled rake as opposed to a reinforced plywood one, but that was tomorrow’s problem to tackle. For now she went to inform Applejack that she was done for the day before spending yet another day looking for a new job.
“I know I shouldn’t stress out so much,” Rose thought. “But I don’t really have that many bits saved up. If I don’t have a job by next week, I’ll only have enough money for about a month before I run into extra problems.”
“You doing ok, sugarcube?” Rose was snapped from her thoughts as she heard Applejack call out. She was sitting in front of the barn with Rainbow Dash a few steps to her right. They both eyed her with concern.
“Yeah, just coming to let you know that I’m done for the day,” said Rose.
Both of her friends looked unconvinced.
“You still ain’t found another job, have you?” asked Applejack.
“No I ain’t… um… I mean, no I haven’t.”
Applejack giggled, but Rainbow Dash looked confused.
“Wait? Why is she looking for another job? Is she quitting?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“Oh, I never told you? Her job here was temporary. Physical strength ain’t her thing so she’s been helping fix things around the farm, but after a while you run outta things to fix,” responded Applejack. “That’s where she is now.”
“Yeah,” Rose continued. “So I’ve been looking for a job everywhere but I’m not qualified for the few jobs available in town.”
“Why not get a government-assigned job?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“Well, when I went to check they told me that they didn’t have any open positions. They told me that they would need clerks and the like once Winter Wrap Up ran around to take care of all the paperwork, but that it was pretty slow until then.”
Rainbow Dash looked off in the distance lost in thought. Applejack and Rose simply stared at her. After a few minutes she spoke.
“Applejack, what exactly do you mean by ‘helping fix things around the farm’, and is Rose good at it?”
Applejack was stunned for a second before answering.
“Oh, well, she looks for problems in how we run things and fixes them. Looks at our operation, who we sell to, when we sell, the harvest process, things like that, and she calculates the best way to make things more efficient,” she said. “And she’s really good! She’s made us a killing in profits and the quality has not dropped one ounce. Our cider season was the best one we had in years.”
“Is she good enough that she could use you as a reference and you would give her an awesome review?”
“Yes Rainbow Dash,” Applejack said, sounding a little annoyed. “What are you thinking?”
Rainbow smiled.
“I’m going to get her a job as a weather pony!”
“Um, what?” Rose asked, having been quiet for the entire exchange.
“A weather pony; it’s what I do. We control weather and help during emergencies. It’s technically a government job but we operate separately and independently.”
“But Rainbow, I’m not that strong and I’m not that great of a flyer.”
“That’s the thing, you don’t have to be!”
Neither Applejack nor Rose spoke, so Rainbow continued.
“There are lots of jobs that the weather ponies do. I do one of the more physically demanding ones because I’m an athlete, but there’s more to us than ponies like me,” she said. “Someone needs to direct weather formations, know when to schedule a rainy day or clear skies, and don’t even get me started on dealing with the Everfree.”
“What about dealing with the Everfree?” asked Rose.
“Well, when a freak storm comes in, we have very few minutes to ascertain the situation,” explained Rainbow Dash. “Our commanders have to figure out what the problem is, how to fix it, and then command the rest of the team to deal with the weather. This takes a lot of quick thinking and strategizing. We may be the ones attacking the rouge weather, but if we’re attacking at the wrong place or in the wrong way, it doesn’t matter how good we are or how many there are of us: the storms win.”
Rainbow Dash seemed to have another thought, and turned to look at Applejack.
“Besides, you said she was really good at finding problems with how things are run and finding efficient solutions,” she said. “I can think of a million problems that the weather team has in chain of command and procedures alone! For example, remember that storm on Rose’s first day here?”
Rose and Applejack gave Rainbow an incredulous look before responding.
“Vaguely,” they deadpanned.
“Oh, right,” Rainbow said, realizing her mistake. “Anyway, yeah, that storm came out of nowhere and spread very quickly from the Everfree, covering Ponyville. But we still should’ve seen it coming. Even if the heads up had been a few minutes before it hit, we should’ve seen it. Instead, we found out about it once it was here.”
She turned to look at Rose.
“If you’re as good as Applejack says you are, I’m sure you could figure out a system so that we don’t get blindsided again.”
Rose looked at Rainbow Dash. She understood her logic and everything Rainbow said made sense to her. However, there was one concern Rose had to clarify before she allowed herself to get excited. Applejack beat her to it.
“Rainbow, can you really just hire somepony out of the blue like that?” Applejack asked.
“I can’t,” Rainbow said. “But my boss can. We do it all the time. Since we are independently-run, we can hire anypony to fill any need the weather team has. That’s how we get away with hiring Derpy every time we need some extra muscle. I can vouch that there is a need for somepony to fix problems with efficiency and procedure. If you can vouch that she’s perfectly qualified for the position, I don’t see it being a problem.”
She then turned to face Rose.
“I’ll go talk to my boss and bring an application by your place tomorrow. You still have to fill it out and apply for the job, but that’s just a technicality. As soon as everything is turned in, you can count on yourself having a job as soon as you finish your last day here at the farm.”
Rose was speechless, but it only lasted for a moment.
“Thank you sooo much Rainbow Dash, I’ll fill it out as soon as I get it!”
Four hours had passed since Rainbow Dash had dropped off the application, but as Rose sat at her work desk, the application in front of her remained empty.
She had fully intended to fill it out right away. In fact, that was the reason why she had spent four hours sitting at her work desk. However, she had not expected to find herself stumped. And yet that is exactly what had happened.
Problems started with the first section of the application.
Write your Legal Name:
“Huh,” she had thought to herself. “Hadn’t expected that…”
Having never actually filled out a job application before, she was pretty surprised to find that question. The more she thought about it, the more that surprise turned into panic.
“Well, I can’t tell them my legal name,” Rose thought. She still did not know how her disappearance from Canterlot had been dealt with by her parents. For all she knew, she could have been declared dead, or maybe was said to be at home sick with some incurable ailment. In either case, suddenly appearing on a government job application in Ponyville would probably attract some attention. Even if nopony knew that she had disappeared in Canterlot and the application was never seen by anypony outside of Ponyville, every pegasi in Equestria had probably heard of the Rhyme family, being one of the oldest of the few noble families of pegasi in Equestria. One of them suddenly working a weather job in Ponyville would probably turn into gossip. Putting her legal name on here, even if only as a formality, meant that there was a high chance of getting outed by the pony who files the paperwork, or by the rest of the team once the gossip spread.
“But I can’t just lie, can I?” Rose asked herself.
After a moment of thinking she decided that this question needed to be thought out. She was at a very high risk of getting outed by this, but she did not want to lie. She’d have to come back to it once she answered all the easy sections. “On to the next.”
Gender: ___Male ___Female
“Huh.”
And so she sat, staring at the second section on the job application and pondering about things that never seemed so real until she had to deal with them face-to-face. The first section was easy enough to fix. All she would have to do was change her name legally and she would only have to deal with her connections to Canterlot if they asked for any aliases. Even then, she could probably omit any connection to the Rhyme family. She would be ok.
This, however, presented a whole new set of problems.
“What gender am I?”
She knew what answer they wanted. Biologically she was male. She had been born a colt. If she got a physical she would be treated and checked as a male. If she got arrested she would be placed in a prison for males. It was a pretty simple answer to figure out.
“And yet,” she thought, “I’m not male.”
She felt like a mare. No – she was a mare. She lived her life as a mare. This was who she was. But was this what she was? She let her gaze drop as the insecurities sank in.
“Can I really be female when my body is not?” she asked herself.
She stared at the two options. One she wanted to be more than anything in the world, but would never be able to reach. The other she tried her hardest to avoid, but could never quite escape. She was torn by the disconnect between her mind and body, cursed to exist in between the two boxes, and in between the struggle. Anger rose in her.
She got up.
Walking around the house, she stopped in front of the mirror. Her reflection stared back at her. She was wearing a gray cardigan over a white shirt and some dark pants that flared out at around her back hooves. She was the only pony she knew that wore clothes every day, and she probably would continue to do so even if she did not need to. But that was the thing: she needed to. Without her clothes she would be immediately recognized as a stallion. Worse still, without her clothes, she would not be able to stand to look at herself.
She stood in front of the mirror for a second contemplating a thought. She knew it would be a bad idea, but after a while, she carried it out anyway. She removed her clothing and stared into the mirror.
Staring back was now a stallion that could never be confused for a mare. Despite not being very bulky, the stallion had a broad slightly muscular collarbone. His shoulders were wider than a mare’s. His eyes were full of misery. Rose turned her body to her side, and the reflection did the same. The stallion’s back was fairly straight, lacking that curve that all mares seemed to have. His waist was far from narrow. His shape was most definitely male.
The stallion moved awkwardly in front of the mirror while the mare observed his body from every angle. This was her body: the body she was unable to change, and the body she hated.
Tears rose to her eyes as a cold anger gripped her. She felt ugly; no… that word was too mild. Disgusting; repulsive; hideous; those were better words. Another was powerless.
Regardless of how hard she tried, she could not force herself to see any beauty in the reflection in front of her, just a collection of flaws. Mistakes… she was a mistake.
She began to shake, tears falling freely from her eyes now, but she could not stare away. Her stomach was not right, what fat she had was deposited in the wrong places… This was not a mare.
She thought back to the two boxes; they mocked her. They excluded her. They judged her. She judged herself.
Anger was now fury. She stomped at the floor, closing her eyes, trying to avoid her reflection.
“I’M JUST A JOKE AREN’T I?” she yelled at the empty house. “A MISTAKE, I WAS BORN A MISTAKE! HOW IS THIS FAIR?”
There was no way to change a stallion into a mare. She had done research, read through books, and tried everything to come up with any other answer. But there was none; it was the truth. This was unchangeable. She could never be a mare.
“WHY? WHY CAN’T I BE NORMAL?!” she cried. “WHY AM I SO MESSED UP?”
She would always be in the middle. She would always be an outcast, a freak. She was beyond thoughts now, just emotions. Hatred, fear, doubts; these were the things her world consisted of. There was nothing more. There was nothing else.
She stared at her reflection, the source of her distress. The stallion looked back with judging eyes.
“DON’T STARE AT ME!”
She raised her hoofs to smash the stallion, but the impact never came. Instead, she caught herself staring at a face with tear-stained cheeks and red eyes. She recognized this face. It was the face of a pony so broken that nothing mattered anymore, and yet not broken enough that she could not feel pain. It was her face.
Rose collapsed softly in front of the mirror.
“Why can’t I be normal…”
She sobbed the night away.
Rose woke up the next morning, and was surprised to see her reflection in the mirror. She was not surprised at her reflection, more so surprised that the mirror was still intact. Regardless, she got up, showered, and got dressed. Afterwards she made herself breakfast and after eating it, she returned to her work desk, finding the blank application exactly where she left it. She also noticed the a few smudged letters on the application, as if the paper had gotten sprayed with a few drops of water.
Too tired to remember if she had been crying or not when she got up from the desk, she proceeded to fill out the application. This time she had no existential crisis, she did not question her identity, and she was not concerned about being outed. Those things required energy and concern, neither of which she had enough of to be bothered with. Instead, she just filled it out with the information she knew they wanted, even if it was not who she was. After she was done, she looked it over.
“It still doesn’t feel right,” she thought. “Besides, unless the pony that I turn this into is also the pony that walks me through orientation, they will not be expecting me. They’ll be expecting a stallion.”
It was amazing how clearly somepony could think when they were emotionally exhausted. It took only seconds for Rose to come up with an answer.
“Well, since I’m going to be outed anyway, I might as well do this thing properly,” she said bitterly. “I’ll write a letter explaining my situation and attach it to the application. If they’re going to figure out I’m trans, they might as well hear it for me.”
“I really need to watch my emotions more,” Rose chided herself. She was flying through the air wearing a dark green vest with dark grey shorts, and rushing towards her destination.
True to her word, Rose wrote a letter explaining that she was trans and how this affected her responses on the application, among other things, and dropped it off without letting a single worry cross her mind.
Those worries would appear in the days after the application had been submitted. In fact, each day she put between her and her emotional breakdown also increased the amount of worry over the very rash and reckless decision she had taken.
“I can’t believe I came out to my boss before even meeting them,” she said. “I am so stupid.”
A few days after she turned in the application she got a letter saying she had gotten the job, and that she was to show up for her first day two days after her final day at Sweet Apple Acres. One would think that having gotten the job would ease her nerves, but if anything, the opposite happened, with the growth of panic and self-deprecation going from a linear growth, to an exponential one.
“I mean, I’m surprised you didn’t just decide to wear a shirt that said ‘Hi, I’m trans’ for your first day on the job,” she said.
She then looked up, seeing the main building for the weather ponies.
Today was her first day.
Rose finally arrived, landing softly on the cloud. She then walked up to the receptionist desk and signed in. After waiting for a few minutes she was approached by a mare with a lavender-blue coat and a jasmine mane.
“Hello, my name is Cloud Kicker,” she said, “You must be… Evening Rose, correct?”
Rose nodded.
“Great, please come this way.”
Cloud Kicker led Rose down a hallway and into a small room. The room consisted of a large table, a few chairs, and a screen for film projection. The room was completely empty except for Cloud Kicker, Rose, and a stallion standing on the far corner of the room. He was white and slightly smaller than normal stallions, but he carried himself with an air of importance. He was holding a clipboard.
Cloud Kicker glanced at the stallion nervously before addressing Rose.
“Well, here we are. As I said, I’m Cloud Kicker and you have been placed in my team. I talked to Rainbow Dash so I’m aware of your abilities and what your assignments are going to be, but before you can go out and help improve the weather team procedures, you should probably learn how things around here work.” Cloud Kicker glanced at the stallion again, before getting the projector set up and starting the first movie. Rose did not know who this stallion was or why he was there, but she knew enough to figure out that he was someone you wanted to be on your best behavior around.
The majority of the day was spent watching instructional videos about the working of the weather team in various capacities, and an in-depth explanation of how things work. The white stallion was never introduced, but he was in the room for the whole thing, writing on his clipboard from time to time.
Finally it was time to go outside and meet the rest of the team.
The entire weather team was assembled to welcome Rose into their group. Rose could see Rainbow Dash waving from her place in her division. There was a lot of chatting before Cloud Kicker drew in everyone’s attention.
“Ok ok, settle down,” she said. Instantly there was silence. “Now, the reason we called this meeting is simply to introduce you to the newest member of our team, Ms. Evening Rose.”
“Miss?”
It was quiet, barely audible, but Rose heard it. However, instead of looking for the source she kept looking ahead. She noticed the white stallion again, writing on his clipboard.
“She will be working under me in the tactical division, and will be helping make revisions to some of the procedures we have in place, specifically in how we monitor and attack rogue weather. In any case, I want you all to give her a warm welcome.”
“Her?”
Once again, it was barely more than a whisper. It was almost indistinguishable from the various voices welcoming her to the team. But she had heard it.
She could not help herself; she looked for the source.
She was easy to spot. There was a pink pegasus slightly on her right, with a cold glare in her eyes, a scowl on her face, contempt in her stance. She knew… somehow, she knew.
Rose turned to look forward again, focusing on the stallion writing on the clipboard.
“Ok,” Cloud Kicker said. “Now, there’s one more thing we need to talk about involving our performance on the last quarter.”
She then turned to look at Rose. “You can go home if you want; this is stuff you don’t really need to know about.”
“Oh ok,” Rose said, “Thank you.”
Rose then flew home, thinking of the pink mare with disdain in her features.
“She knows about me,” thought Rose. “Somehow she knows.”
However, as she continued to fly home a thought struck her.
“No,” she said. “Cloud Kicker introduced me as a mare. The entire weather team knows me as a mare. Even if that one pegasus has suspicions, there’s no way for her to check.”
She found herself smiling as she went home.
“I have a job as a weather mare,” Rose thought to herself. “I may be forced to live my life in between the boxes, but at least the weather team will see me as the mare I am and nothing less. That’s a start.”
The white stallion with the clipboard moved to stand next to Cloud Kicker. She nervously took a step away from him, giving him center stage. The entirety of the weather team present was quiet and awaited for him to speak. After all, it was not often that the head of the entire weather department showed up to address his workers.
“This institution,” he began, “is built on the idea that anypony can serve their community. In the old days it was a responsibility for pegasi to control weather in the most responsible and beneficial manner for all. Now it could probably be regulated by magic, like it is in Canterlot, Manehattan, and other such cities. However, we don’t do that, because controlling the weather for the benefit of the community is no longer just our responsibility. It is our privilege.”
“That means that nopony is turned away if they are willing and able. That means that despite whatever else may be going on, that pony can serve their community. However, aside from ensuring that every pony that wants to serve is able to do so, we also want them to be able to serve without being discriminated against and without them feeling unsafe.”
He turned to look at the pink pegasus.
“We will not tolerate any discrimination against any of our employees, regardless of reason. And so, that’s what I came to talk to you about, to ensure intolerance won’t be a problem.”
He took a deep breath.
“As you may or may not have noticed, our new employee Evening Rose is a transpony…”
According to the clock at the station, the train was only twenty minutes late. However, time was very relative in this kind of weather. For some, twenty minutes easily stretched into eternity in the midst of the winter climate. A cold breeze chilled the skin, forcing ponies to pull on their scarves and jackets as they tried to maximize every small degree of warmth their inner temperature provided. The clouds were gray and endless in stark contrast to the hay roof overhead, a depressing gloom befalling the land. For these ponies, the minutes ticked slowly because every second that passed by was a second keeping them away from the warmth and shelter. Rose was not one of these ponies.
Winter was Rose’s favorite season for a variety of reasons. The most practical of these was that she did not feel like she stuck out as much as she did the rest of the year. Being the only pony that always wore clothes tended to bring a lot of unwanted attention but, during this season, she was not alone. As she looked around she noted that everypony around her was wearing a jacket, earmuffs, and/or a scarf. She was indistinguishable in her black jacket from anypony else, and she loved it. The second reason was far less practical.
Rose found that there was a certain magic to found in winter if one knew where to look. The cold, though a nuisance to some, forced ponies together in their efforts to stay warm, coloring their cheeks with the softest of blushes in the hue of young love. She let out a warm breath into the icy atmosphere, watching with glee as it turned to a misty vapor. For Rose, the twenty minutes shortened into seconds. There was too much beauty to see and not nearly enough time.
Rose looked to her right, eyeing her companion. The white unicorn shivered in a poufy jacket that was the same color as her natural coat. The hood of said jacket covered most of her mane, but a few stray blue strands managed to sneak through. At this moment she was trying to defog her purple shades.
Ponyville had really calmed down in the recent month. Maybe it was because of the cold weather keeping ponies inside, or maybe it was just because of the time of year itself which kept ponies busy with their projects and preparations, but it seemed like less and less ponies walked around each day. The market, for example, was completely deserted when Rose had walked through it earlier that day. She had just finished work and was about to reach her home when she noticed Vinyl locking the door to her own house.
“Hey Vinyl!” Rose shouted. “Heading out?”
Vinyl looked around, unsure of whether or not she had actually heard somepony calling her, before she noticed the purple-maned pegasus.
“Oh hey Rose, yeah I have to go to the train station,” Vinyl said. “A good friend of mine is coming to Ponyville today. She said she’d stop by my place once she got in town, but I kind of want to go meet her at the train station instead.”
Rose noticed the slight blush on the dj for which the weather was not responsible, and, after giving her a knowing look, decided to not press the issue.
“Well I won’t keep you then,” said Rose. “Maybe I can meet your friend later?”
She began to turn towards her home when Vinyl stopped her.
“Hey! Do you want to come wait with me?” asked Vinyl.
Rose thought for a second, deciding she did not have anything better to do, and agreed, following the cheerful unicorn all the way to the train station.
“There we go!” said Vinyl, snapping Rose from her thoughts. “Sorry about that, but it was getting to where I could not see anything. Now, what were you saying?”
“It’s quite alright,” said Rose. “I was just saying that then when I went to work the next day, the pink pegasus was nothing but nice to me.”
“Yeah, I bet. Airheart can come off as a mean pony at first, but she’s very kind underneath it all,” said Vinyl. “I’m glad you’re liking the new job.”
“Me too. Aside from that awkward first day, it’s been wonderful.”
Rose then looked down the track and saw an approaching train. “Hey Vinyl, the train is here.”
Vinyl looked down the track and allowed herself a small smile. Rose studied her. Although Vinyl did not show much emotion, Rose could tell how excited she was from the way her muscles tensed, the way her breath was hurried, and from the slight tremor in her voice when she said, “About time.”
Rose looked back at the train, wondering what kind of pony could fill Vinyl with such glee. However, as the train stopped at the station, Rose realized that she knew nothing about the pony she was meeting. She had made such a point to not embarrass Vinyl and to drop the subject, that Rose had never even learnt the visiting pony’s name.
“Well, I guess I’ll find out soon enough,” thought Rose. “But still, I could ask a few questions.”
“Hey Vinyl,” Rose began. “So where’s your friend coming from again?”
“Oh, she’s a famous cellist from Canterlot,” said Vinyl. “But Ponyville is like her second home. She’s been really busy with her concerts this year; otherwise she would’ve visited sooner.”
Rose, however, was no longer listening. She was weighing her options.
“I could run,” she thought. “I could fly away. Vinyl would be confused and maybe a bit hurt, but I could explain later and it won’t be a big deal as long as I leave before…”
She never finished her sentence.
Rose had turned around to check if the coast was clear when she noticed that the doors of the train had been opened, and in the middle of the exiting crowd, Rose saw her. The mare had a dark grey mane, a light grey coat, and a purple scarf that matched her treble clef cutie mark. She was pulling a blue suitcase.
“Octavia, over here!” yelled Vinyl waving her arms.
Octavia recognized the sound of someone calling her. She then noticed the purple shades, her face breaking into a grin. She began to walk towards her friend when the crowd parted, revealing the pony to Vinyl’s right.
Octavia stopped.
Both Octavia and Rose stared at the other with confusion in their eyes. Still, there were slight differences in their expressions. Rose showcased anxiety and fear. Octavia displayed anger and something else Rose could not put her hoof on.
Rose wanted many things at that moment. She wanted to run away. She wanted to say something. She wanted to cry. However, she did none of these things. Instead, she stood rooted in place, rendered completely mute.
Time showcased how relative it could be by stretching seconds into years. Neither mare moved. Neither mare blinked.
Vinyl, unaware of the tension growing on that train station platform, continued to wave at her friend while calling her name.
“Octavia, I’m right here!”
This broke Octavia out of her stupor; she quickly corrected her features, erasing any trace of the rage and discomfort that had previously occupied her face. She walked towards Vinyl with a serene smile on her face.
“Vinyl, it is soo good to see you! Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe I told you I would be stopping by your domicile as soon as I got to Ponyville.”
It was very slight, but Octavia stopped in a way that put Rose outside of her peripherals, shutting her out of the conversation. Rose noticed, but was in no position to say anything about it.
“Nope, nothing to correct,” said Vinyl with a smile. “I just got tired of waiting for you. I’m not at your beck and call, you know?”
“Really now? Sorry, I do forget that sometimes, seeing no evidence as such,” said Octavia. “Now, should we get going? I’m afraid my little scarf is not going to be enough for this weather and my jackets are all in my suitcase.”
“Sure thing,” said Vinyl. “But first you have to meet my friend, Evening Rose. Rose, this is my old friend, Octavia.”
Octavia turned to look at Rose as if just noticing she was there while Vinyl stood behind her. Octavia’s violet eyes gazed with such malice that Rose had to struggle against the instinct to step back. Octavia’s voice, on the other hoof, betrayed no such sentiments.
“... Evening Rose, is it? Charmed.” said Octavia.
Rose was slow to react.
“…Yes, a pleasure to meet you.”
Rose saw that same look flash through Octavia’s face again. It had only been for a second, but it was there. It seemed familiar, but she still could not quite place it.
“Well, let’s head back then!" Vinyl said as she started marching away from the station, once again oblivious of the sentiments of the two ponies she left behind. After a second, Octavia turned and began walking after Vinyl, glancing back once at Rose before speeding up to catch her friend. Rose took a deep breath before following.
Once she caught up to the two mares, she walked next to them in silence. Vinyl was filling in Octavia on the changes in her music career since her last visit when they arrived in front of Rose’s home.
“Hey Vinyl,” said Rose. “I’m going to go ahead and head in.”
Vinyl turned to look at her.
“Oh ok, sorry if we were ignoring you for a bit there,” said Vinyl apologetically. “Tons to catch up on.”
“No no, it’s ok, I completely understand. I’m just tired is all,” responded Rose.
She chanced a glance at Octavia and saw nothing on her features. No anger, no hatred, and no trace of that indiscernible emotion from earlier. Rose gave her a quick nod, which Octavia politely returned. She then turned to Vinyl again, saying goodbye before letting herself indoors.
Despite her best efforts, Rose could not sleep. Her room was dark due to the closed curtains, but a few stray streaks of orange light from the setting sun managed to seep through the small gaps where the curtains failed to cover the window. Rose wanted to blame her inability to sleep on her circadian rhythm failing to be fooled by her attempts to recreate the darkness of night but, if she was honest with herself, she knew there was a much more likely explanation.
“I saw Octavia today,” she thought to herself.
Next to the bed was a scattered collection of notebooks, traveling notebooks from her years growing up in Canterlot. She had pulled them out to revisit the few good times she had chronicled, but she found that the notebooks were not needed. The specter of bygone days that had greeted her today had brought those memories to the forefront of Rose’s mind, and it was those memories that drove away sleep. Well, those, and the look Octavia gave Rose at the station. A look of anger, of hatred, and of something else. She turned on her side, determined to find a way to sleep, when she heard a knocking at the door.
Rose turned to face the doorway of her room but made no move to get up. No one knew she was home; whomever it was would just assume she was elsewhere and go away. She noiselessly sat up, gripping her covers for comfort as she waited.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
“Besides,” thought Rose, “the only ponies that know for sure that I’m home are Vinyl and Octavia, and I told them both that I was tired and therefore would be obviously asleep. They couldn’t blame me for not answering the door if I were asleep.”
Knock. Knock. Knock.
It was louder this time.
Rose held her breath, and did not allow herself to move. Her heartbeat was deafening, but she did nothing to correct it. All she could do was act like she did not exist.
“I know you’re in there and that you’re awake, coward,” yelled a voice from outside. “Now open up.”
Rose sighed; she could not ignore her any longer. Rose walked down the stairs and opened the door.
Octavia, wearing a light grey jacket and her purple scarf, looked up as the door opened. Her posture was detached and her expression was unreadable, but her eyes were intense as she stared down the black pegasus.
Rose simply stared at Octavia with a look of concern and worry. She was not surprised to see the cellist there, but that did not mean she was not intimidated. This reminded her of the last time she had had that thought and she hoped that this conversation would end with similar results. However, looking at Octavia, she doubted it.
The two mares stared at the other in silence until Octavia came inside the house, stepping by Rose without having been invited and not speaking a word. Rose noiselessly followed her into the house, closing the door behind her.
Octavia walked around the bottom floor, examining the living room and kitchen. She took special notice of the pictures on the wall, the keepsakes on the shelves, and the mirror by the stairs. She seemed confused by the mirror’s presence. Finally, Octavia made her way to the furniture in the living room and took a seat by the table. Rose sat on the opposite side.
“So,” began Octavia, “this is where you ended up, is it? Slant?”
Rose winced at the name, but Octavia did not seem the least bit concerned.
“Oh, you don’t like ponies using your name? Slant Rhyme is your name right?”
Rose looked up. There was anger in Octavia’s eyes, but that other emotion was there again.
“Or how about I call you Script? Do you remember that one? You came up with it, asked me to call you that!? Or are you not that pony either?!”
Octavia’s voice was trembling; with what Rose could not be sure.
“But no, I suppose now you’re this Evening Rose, a stray from nowhere in particular trying to live as a MARE no less.”
Octavia broke her stare, instead looking at the table.
“What happened to you, Script?” Octavia said in a very soft voice.
Rose opened her mouth but no sound came out. She wanted to explain what happened, to justify herself in some way, but she could not. Rose took another look at Octavia’s eyes and lost all will to talk.
“No,” said Octavia. “You don’t have to explain. I think I can piece things together from this. It actually explains a lot of things.”
Rose found herself recovering her voice.
“Like what?”” she asked.
Octavia turned to glare at her.
“Did you know everypony in Canterlot is still talking about you? Even now? Your disappearance has all of Canterlot guessing as to what happened to you.”
Octavia closed her eyes.
“Your parents say you’re very sick. That’s why no one has seen you. They say that you are in critical care and would be staying indoors until further notice. No one was allowed to go see you, not even me.” Octavia said that last part with unrestrained bitterness in her voice. “Something didn’t add up though. Why wouldn’t I be allowed to be there when you were fighting for your life? Why did your father seem more angry than upset? Why did your brother seem so distant and detached? Something was wrong. Then I thought to our last conversation.”
Rose thought back as well; she could remember it clearly.
“All the pieces told a story different than the official one and I put them together. I figured out that things probably got too bad at home. You couldn’t take it anymore and you ran away. And yet, there was one piece I could not figure out. What did you have going on that was so secret that you couldn’t tell me? What secret was so bad that it would make you run away? And what was so important and immediate that you left without talking to me, without warning? Why would you leave me behind?”
Octavia looked at Rose with that emotion on her face, except this time Rose knew what it was. It was hurt.
“Now I know,” said Octavia. Tears flowed freely from her eyes.
Rose went up to her side and held her tight and spoke.
“Please know that if I could’ve told you I would’ve. I’m very sorry, Muse.”
Octavia was startled by the use of her old nickname, but it was not long before the tears started again, with each pony weeping into the mane of the other. After a few moments, Octavia pulled her head back from Rose’s shoulder, staring at Rose’s eyes. She then moved forward until their lips met.
There was a familiar warm and softness there that Rose permitted herself to enjoy. However, Octavia broke the kiss, allowing confusion to take hold.
“Octavia…” Rose said. “Do you still…?”
“No,” Octavia cut her off. “I haven’t since we went to school together and besides, that was not meant for you,” she said with steel in her voice, “that was meant for Script.”
Tears formed in Octavia’s eyes again as a painful memory resurfaced in her mind, but she fought them back. Instead, she talked.
“I thought I’d never see you again. Most of me thought you had run away, but part of me thought you might have died. You might as well have been dead…” Octavia closed her eyes again, as if doing so would spare her the memory. “You were gone, I thought I lost you… and I’m not dumb enough to allow myself to have the same regret twice.”
“However, I did lose you, didn’t I?” Octavia turned to look at Rose. “Script really is dead.”
Rose did not answer. She did not know how. There was much she wanted to say or correct, but now was not the time. The silence allowed Octavia to gather herself.
“And do not think this changes anything;” said Octavia. “I’m still mad at you for leaving. And even if you really couldn’t tell me before you left, you’ve had plenty of time to write to me since then. You really hurt me, and I’m not sure I can forgive you.”
She then scoffed as a thought occurred to her.
“You know, for a very long time I’ve felt nothing for you but anger and contempt,” she said. “But honestly, all I feel for you right now is pity. I pity you for what you’ve lost, and what you’ve left behind. You’ve picked a hard life for yourself.”
Octavia gave a sad smile and spoke with the softest voice she could muster. “I hope all the sacrifice was worth it to that stallion I grew up with.”
“Mare,” said Rose, finding her voice.
“Beg your pardon?”
“Mare. You said ‘that stallion you grew up with’; it should be ‘that mare’ instead.”
Octavia looked at Rose for a long while before responding.
“I guess it should.”
An awkward silence befell the household as the two mares tried to make sense of the situation. There was too much uncertainty to think properly. The lines that separate friends, acquaintances, and strangers blurred into one smudged blur as both of them struggled to find the next appropriate word to say. Octavia was the first to do so.
“Well, I guess I should go back to Vinyl’s,” Octavia said, turning to leave.
“Please stay?”
Octavia turned with confusion in her eyes at the purple-maned pegasus with the downward glance.
“Just a bit longer? I’ll make hot chocolate, and we can sit and talk. Really talk, like we used to.”
Octavia gave a sad smile in spite of herself.
“I’m not sure it’s that simple to patch things up,” Octavia said. “But I’m willing to try.”
Rose went and made hot chocolate while Octavia went and found two chairs, placing them next to each other. The two mares then sat, enjoyed their drinks, and talked for hours until it was really time for Octavia to head back to Vinyl’s for some sleep.
A great storm had severely damaged the bridge that connected them, and despite whatever they did, the bridge would never be quite the same. Regardless of this, they gave it an honest effort. It would be tough to rebuild over the damage, but the two had history behind them to pave the way. They had been best friends once before; they figured they could do it again.
Octavia and Vinyl shared a hug at the train station. Octavia had arrived thirty minutes early for her train back to Canterlot and had already checked her luggage in. However, she had opted to wait the extra time on the platform rather than in the warmth of her compartment in order to postpone farewells to the last possible moment.
“You have got to come to Canterlot sometime, Vinyl. It’ll be months before I can come back to Ponyville but that does not mean that’s the next time we have to see each other,” said Octavia.
“Yeah, I know. I’ll try. If anything I’ll go just to yell at your boss for keeping you in Canterlot from the Summer Sun Celebration till now.”
The two mares let the hug go, having had finished their goodbyes, and Octavia turned to look at Rose, who had been awkwardly standing to their right.
Rose looked at Octavia as if asking for an indication of what to do since she was still unsure of where they stood in their friendship.
She did know that they were friends; the few days Octavia had spent in Ponyville had seen to that. At least once a day during her stay, the two mares had sat and talked for hours. Rose had told her the entire story from their last conversation in Canterlot to Octavia’s arrival in Ponyville while Octavia went more in detail about what had occurred in Rose’s absence. The two then reminisced on their school days. Slowly but surely the flame of their friendship rekindled and flared.
However, there were a lot of problems that could not be fixed in a single weekend. Octavia carried months of resentment, which would take time and energy to work through. Also, while she acknowledged and accepted Evening Rose, she could not help but grieve the loss of Script, the stallion with whom she had fought the world and would see no more. She knew that Script was not completely gone, that not everything had changed, but it would take some effort to come to grips with that. Effort she was willing to give.
As it stood, Rose and Octavia were friends, but only time would tell how close their friendship would be.
Octavia took note of the insecurity and raised a hoof, beckoning for Rose to come closer. Rose complied and smiled as she was pulled into a hug.
“It was really good to see you Rose,” said Octavia. “I know you won’t want to come and visit, but I expect to see a few letters from the ‘new friend I made in Ponyville’, you hear? No more dropping off the map for months. I know where you live.”
“Ok ok, Tavi,” said Rose. “I’m glad I got to see you. I’ll write to you soon.”
Octavia broke away from the hug, waving goodbye one more time before heading into the train. Vinyl and Rose stayed at the platform in a silent vigil until the train left. Soon, when they were the only two ponies still at the station, they took their leave.
Rose could not help but notice how downcast Vinyl looked as they walked back towards the market. The usual feistiness of the blue-maned dj was gone, and she looked more tired than Rose had ever seen her.
“Miss her already, huh?” asked Rose.
Vinyl turned her head to face her as they walked.
“You have no idea.”
“I wouldn’t know about that, but anyway; why don’t you move to Canterlot with her?”
“Canterlot society and I don’t really quite mix,” said Vinyl, “I go there to perform quite a bit, but every time I do I find myself rushing to get back. I’m trying to convince her to move to Ponyville with me though, since it’s where she was born and she likes the area, but there’s not really a hall for her to perform in, so it probably wouldn’t work.”
The two walked in silence for a bit but Rose was not sure what type of silence it was, so she broke it.
“She does like you,” said Rose. Vinyl looked at her, shocked.
“What! She does!” continued Rose. “I know how nervous you are around her, trying to win her affection. I’m just letting you know, you have it.”
“And how would you know?” asked Vinyl, showing a little more interest than she meant to.
“Because she used to look at me the way she looks at you. Because I had years of experience in your position. Because I’m not blind.” These were all things that crossed Rose’s mind but she did not say. She stayed in silence looking for a more tactful answer.
“She has certain tells. The quick nuzzle when you two hugged, for example; she’s too proper to do that, no matter how close friends you are, unless she likes you. Or the fact that she decided to stay at your place while she was here.”
“It was cheaper for her to stay at a friend’s than to rent a hotel room,” responded Vinyl.
Rose stared back at her with an amused look on her face.
“Does Octavia strike you as a mare who would give up the comfort of having her own space to save money?”
“Um… no…” responded Vinyl.
Rose smiled.
“She told me once that she hated few things more than staying at somepony’s house because she always felt like she was violating their space. Even if she was welcome, she was a guest and a visitor, and that irked her. The only way she would willingly stay at somepony’s house,” Rose paused for effect, “was if it felt like home.”
Vinyl blushed.
“I wish I had known you two had known each other since you were fillies, I would’ve asked you for all sorts of advice,” said Vinyl.
Rose smiled again.
“You seem to be doing ok on your own.”
The rest of their trip back to the market square and to their own homes was done in comfortable silence, and Rose could not help but notice the cheerful pep behind every one of Vinyl Scratch’s steps.
Once inside her home, Rose started boiling water for enough vegetable soup for two ponies. Once the water was boiled she added the ingredients and lowered the heat to allow the soup to simmer. Afterwards she went upstairs to her work desk, pulling out some parchment and one of her quills. She began to write.
To: Octavia
Told you I’d write! I hope your trip was pleasant. Also, you should consider moving in with Vinyl. (Just a random thought and not at all because I enjoy when Vinyl is looking nervous)
Write back,
-Evening Rose
Rose stared at the parchment, focusing on how funny it would be when Octavia got home to find the message there rather than focusing on how awkward it was that she was talking to Octavia about her possible future marefriend.
“Wouldn’t be the first time.”
Rose headed downstairs and outside, depositing the letter for Derpy to pick up during her coming shift. Then she headed inside and sat on a chair, having done all she needed to do, alone with her thoughts.
It all started well enough, with her thoughts centering on the past weekend. It was good to see Octavia again, and despite everything that happened, it really did look like they would be the friends they used to be. It was also good to see that she had finally managed to move on. This relieved a huge weight of guilt that Rose had not even realized she had been carrying. Octavia deserved somepony that could make her happy. Rose’s thoughts eventually settled on Octavia’s departure.
“I know you won’t want to come and visit, but I expect to see a few letters from the ‘new friend I made in Ponyville’, you hear?”
“No, I guess I won’t…” thought Rose. She looked out the window, seeing the same grey clouds from earlier. Rose had never really thought of returning to Canterlot; she could not after what happened, but it always seemed like it was something out of her control. That’s not what Octavia said, though. She did not say ‘I guess you can’t come visit’ or ‘I guess you won’t come visit’, she had said ‘you won’t want to’ instead. Was she right?
Rose thought back to the conversation she had with her on Octavia’s first day back. It had ended in a weird sort of way.
“I pity you for what you’ve lost, and what you’ve left behind. You’ve picked a hard life for yourself.”
Had she really picked it? She knew she had not picked being trans. She would not be if she had any choice in the matter. But had hiding in Ponyville been a choice? After she recovered she could have gone back, told the police, done something. But she did not. Had she chosen exile?
“What did Octavia call it?” thought Rose, trying to remember. “A sacrifice?”
“I hope all the sacrifice was worth it.”
What had she sacrificed? Her old home of course, but… that had been taken away. Her friendship? Rose had not even thought of Octavia since she arrived at Ponyville. All of Canterlot seemed so shut off from her, and yet, had that been because she chose to shut it off? Octavia was right: she could have easily written to her, explained the situation, asked for information, but she had not. She had forgotten Canterlot, imagining what was going on in the city without ever attempting to check, forgetting about the one friendship that had any worth to her in her past. Had she chosen isolation?
“If so, to what end?” Rose asked herself.
Why would she choose to sacrifice as much as she had? Was it to leave the past behind her? To forget? To try to live her new life as a transpony…
“No!” she shouted out loud. That was not the end of the thought, but she had been shaken by her own choice of words.
“Not my life as a transpony,” thought Rose. “My life as a mare. I am a mare.”
“Am I really?”
Doubt crept in with the old question that resurfaced from time to time.
“With my body?” she thought. “Can I really be a mare? Not even my friends see me as such.”
She stopped for a second, caught unaware by her own thought. She had never had that thought before, and she was not quite sure from where within her mind it had come, but it was not wrong.
“Every friend I have knows I’m trans,” she thought. “And as loving, and accepting, and supportive as they are, they don’t see me as a mare, they know what I am.”
She thought back to the application she had filled out and cast a glance at the mirror by the stairs.
“Cursed to live between the boxes.”
A knock at the door distracted her from her thoughts.
She walked to the door and opened it, immediately brightening as she saw her guest.
Airheart and Rose laughed, having finished their dinner. The empty bowls sat stacked at the edge of a table, with the soup’s serving dish near empty, as was the salad’s serving dish that Airheart had brought with her.
“And then she said, ‘I just don’t know what went wrong’, as if she hadn’t done it on purpose!” Airheart said, starting another bout of laughter.
Rose struggled to regain her breath enough to speak.
“I bet… I bet Rainbow Dash learnt something… about taking muffins that don’t belong to her!” Rose finally finished.
“She would’ve had she known what she was getting punished for. Or that she was being punished and this wasn’t Derpy being herself,” responded Airheart. They each took in a deep breath.
“Well, I guess I should be going,” Airheart said, grabbing the rest of her salad. “I have work tomorrow morning and so I should go get some sleep.”
“Of course; knowing Rainbow you’ll need all the energy you can get,” said Rose while walking her out.
Once they arrived at the doorway Airheart gave Rose a quick hug before saying her goodbye.
“I had a lot of fun, Rose. Thank you for having me.”
“It’s no problem at all! We need to do this more often, though,” replied Rose.
“Indeed we do,” said Airheart. “Also, I want to apologize for how I treated you on your first day on the job.”
Rose looked at her inquiringly.
“There’s no need.”
“No, there is,” replied Airheart. “Look, I treated you badly because I wasn’t ok with who you were. In fact, the only reason I went up to you on your second day was because I felt like I had to after we got that talk about your situation and about not discriminating against you and being considerate. But…Once I got to know you, I realized that I was being stupid for judging you just because you’re trans. You’re an awesome pony and I’m really sorry I judged you for however briefly I did.”
Rose was near speechless but managed to say a few words.
“That’s ok, Airheart… I forgive you.”
Airheart gave Rose a quick smile before heading off.
“See you on your work day!”
“… Yeah, see you.”
Rose went back inside and closed the door, letting the implication of what she had just heard wash over her.
“She knows,” thought Rose. “They all know…”
Tears began to form in Rose’s eyes.
“Perfect…”
The night sky glistened with starlight as Rose walked down the backstreets of Ponyville, her hoofsteps disturbing the otherwise serene quiet. There was no moon tonight and the wind was cold and bitter, rustling against Rose’s jacket, her scarf flowing in the draft. She was feeling the cold soak through her clothing, the icy wind slicing at any exposed bit of flesh, but she still considered the harsh conditions perfect for two reasons. The first was that it would keep other ponies in their homes and far away from her. The second was that it complimented her mood.
Rose had spent about thirty minutes in her home reflecting on what Airheart had revealed.
“What do you know?” she asked herself.
“All of my friends know I’m trans. I was excited because I made one friend that didn’t. Turns out she did. Turns out the entire weather team knows. There was a meeting of some sort telling them about me and to be nice to me. That means that every single one present at that meeting knows. Based on how Airheart acted, they weren’t told the meeting was a secret, or that me being trans was a secret. That means that they could’ve told anypony they know in town about it.” She paused to think before realizing the last thing she knew. “Anypony could know.”
Rose had struggled to make herself more visible recently, talking to strangers and being friendly. They had been friendly back; there were no weird stares, no confusion, just the conversations between the pony she was talking to and a mare. She had taken it as a sign that she was passing, that things were fine, that they thought her a normal mare. She was living her life as a mare. And yet, the meeting had been about a month ago, meaning that every pony she had talked to since then knew or could know.
She snarled at herself. She knew it was dumb to think this way, making a difference between those who genuinely believed her to be a mare and those who were accepting, supportive, and indulging. But it mattered to her. It made all the difference in the world. She wanted to not be stuck between the boxes; she wanted to be a mare, and now she would be cemented as an “other” in the minds of those in Ponyville.
She would not be Evening Rose the mare; she would be the transpony named Evening Rose.
She felt the walls closing in as she glanced into the mirror.
“I need to leave,” she said. “I need to leave before I do something I regret.”
And so she had left her home to try clear her mind, but she could not escape her thoughts. All through Ponyville she found ponies walking around, all of them waved. Rose had made it a point to talk to the residents of Ponyville, trying desperately to finally join the community as one of its own. Every pony she saw waving was one she had talked to in the past month, after the meeting.
“How many of them know? Do all of them? Do none of them? Do they see me as a mare? Or are they just ‘understanding’ and nice?” These were the thoughts she thought to herself as she walked. After a few minutes of it, she had gone home.
Now it was different; she could walk in solitude without any reminders of what she faced, just the dark bitter cold. She could handle that.
She walked around aimlessly for hours in the night, stopping occasionally to look at the stars, or cry, or sit depending on what she felt like doing at that minute. Eventually though, she began to calm down.
“Rose, you’re being stupid,” she said, exhausted both physically and mentally. “Yeah, things aren’t how you want them to be, but you can’t freak out again. Things are ok for you here, even if everypony knows.”
With her rage gone, she finally began to feel the full force of the wind, chilling her bones. She took a backstreet, and headed home. Or at least she would have had her path not been blocked.
“What do we have here?” said a grey stallion was standing in front of her. He seemed to be an earth pony but Rose could not be sure. Due to the darkness she could not see his back to check for wings, nor see any identifying cutie marks.
“It’s a little late to be walking around don’t you think?” He got closer.
Rose tensed up, readying to flee. That was when she noticed a pegasus landing behind her.
“Don’t try to run now, I really don’t want to hurt a filly,” he said.
The earth pony laughed.
“Filly? Oh, you haven’t heard about this one then?” Rose turned to stare at the earth pony; there was a grin on his face.
“This one is not a mare at all, are you, freak?” Rose tried to place the face; if he knew about her she might have met him, but the darkness made it hard to see and she did not have much time.
“Oh, well, then I have no problem hurting you,” said the pegasus.
Rose steadied herself. The earth pony charged but she easily avoided him by flying above him. The pegasus, however, flew on top of her, kicking her to the ground. Rose hit the ground hard, quickly recovering and turning around. The pegasus was nearby and Rose charged at him, turning at the last second and delivering a well-placed kick to the pegasus’ face. The earth pony charged again, hitting Rose in her middle. She landed on her back and saw the pony about to stomp on her chest. She was faster, though, and turned out of the stomp, hitting him in the stomach in the process. However, the pegasus had recovered, tackling her from behind and pinning her to the ground. The earth pony came to stand next to her, spitting at her face.
“You know, we just wanted to take whatever bits you happened to have on you, but now we find we’re going to need to teach you some respect,” he stomped down hard on the ground right in front of Rose’s face. Rose struggled but was unable to move.
“We are not the type to let some drag queen transvestite thing take a shot at us without learning a lesson,” he continued. “Less so, some girly little fairy like you…”
There was steel in his voice as he finished his sentence, raising his hoof above Rose’s head and preparing to strike down. Rose looked up at him; he was bleeding.
“At least I did some damage,” she thought as she readied for the strike. Then she heard a sound.
Looking up she saw the earth pony lying on floor struggling to get up. In his place was a muscular beige earth pony with a brown mane. The new pony charged at the pegasus, throwing him off Rose and onto the ground. Rose got up, ready to fight, but new stallion moved in front of her.
“You two! You are to pick your sorry flanks up, leave, and pray we never cross paths again,” he said.
The two assailants looked confused, angry, and… scared. Yes, Rose recognized fear in their eyes. She studied the stallion in front of her. She had at first noticed that he was muscular, but there was something else about him, something about the way he stood or the way he had charged two stallions like it was nothing. This stallion knew combat.
“You’re seriously going to defend that gelding behind you?”
“I’m going to defend her from the likes of you.”
The two assailants looked at each other, then ran away.
The stallion took a deep breath and relaxed, turning to look at Rose.
“Are you ok, miss?”
“Yes, yes I am,” said Rose. “Thank you for your help.”
“Don’t mention it. You were doing ok by yourself,” he said. “If it’d only been one of them you wouldn’t have needed somepony else.”
“What’s your name?” asked Rose.
“Oh, I’m Granite Boulder,” he responded.
“Well, I’m Evening Rose. I cannot thank you enough, whether you want the thanks or not,” she said.
“Again, don’t mention it.”
“Well, I should be getting home. Have a fine evening.”
Due to the vast quantity of stuff at the Carousel Boutique, Rarity did not often play hostess to a lot of visitors. Today was an exception. Upon hearing the news, Rarity had invited her group of friends to gather at her place, allowing no room for arguments against the idea. As such, Rarity and her six friends could be seen, surrounded by the vast assembly of textiles, discussing the most recent gossip. One within the group had a date.
To say that Rarity had invited the entire group was a bit of a misnomer. True, she had sent invitations to five of the six ponies requesting their presence. The sixth, however, Rarity had more or less ponynapped from her home near the Market Square, which she excused by saying it was for “old time’s sake”.
Despite the forceful way in which she had been made to agree, Rose found herself thankful for Rarity’s generosity. Few friends would offer to help you prepare for your first date, but only one would go to the lengths that Rarity would.
Alongside the group were eight mannequins each clothed in a Rarity-approved dress. Three of them were dresses that Rose already owned, brought along at Rarity’s request. The rest were new designs by Rarity that she was willing to give to Rose free of charge to ensure her night would be perfect. And so the friends debated on which one would be the perfect dress, settling on the green dress Rose had received the first time she and Rarity met.
Next, Rarity started preparing Rose’s face for her makeup while Fluttershy got to work on her mane. The rest asked questions.
“So he saved you and to repay him you have to go on this here date?” asked Applejack.
“I don’t have to go on the date,” responded Rose. “It’s not like he said, ‘hey, to repay me you have to go on a date with me’. It was more of an afterthought and, I don’t know, I like him. I figure it might fun.”
“Oh, it’s all just sooo romantic! What I would not give for a mysterious stallion to sweep in to rescue me, battle for my honor, and then gently inquire as to whether or not I could go on a date with him for a night out in the town,” said Rarity.
“I don’t know, Rarity, I just don’t get why you’d go out with somepony you don’t know,” responded Rainbow Dash.
“Somepony explain to me why I can’t throw a party!” yelled Pinkie.
“Because Rose here needs to get ready for her date. You can throw a party later. And Rainbow Dash, that’s the point of dates; you get to know somepony and then you decide whether to make them your very special somepony or not.”
“I thought it was backwards: first special somepony, then dating.”
“Think about it, Rainbow: how would that make any sense?”
“What I find interesting,” Twilight interjected, “is that Rose likes stallions.”
All eyes focused on her, with a confused expression on the faces of their owners.
“What I meant to say is,” Twilight stammered, “I’ve been doing some research on the whole transpony thing to better understand it, and I found that gender identity and orientation are separate. One doesn’t affect the other; I find it interesting because despite being trans, I thought…” Twilight stopped looking around at the still shocked faces of her friends. “I’m sorry, I’ll stop.”
Rose let out a laugh.
“It’s ok. You’re right though, they are completely separate. I just happen to be bi and while I’m mostly attracted to mares, I don’t know… he’s cute” Rose said blushing slightly.
Twilight smiled at having found correct information.
“Anyway,” said Rarity. “Tell us darling, what have you two got planned for your special date?”
Rose giggled.
“It’s not all that special; we’re just going out to dinner, taking a walk in the park by starlight, and then heading back to his place for dessert.” There was a slight blush appearing on the cheeks of her six friends so she ran through what she had just said again.
“NO! NO NO NO, NOT LIKE THAT!” yelped a very red-cheeked Rose. “He said he was going to get some ice cream that we could eat while we talked, nothing more!”
Everypony sat in an awkward silence for a few minutes looking embarrassed and uncomfortable. Everypony that is, except for Applejack.
“Now sugarcube, I don’t want to offend you or nothing but are you sure that he knows about your situation?”
They all turned to look at her, and then back to Rose. It was after all, a good question.
“I think he knows. I mean, he defended me from the two ponies while they were talking about it. In fact, that’s kind of why they attacked me… so he has to know.”
“Alright, if you’re sure. I just want you to be safe, that’s all,” said Applejack.
“It’s ok, Applejack, you brought up a good point,” said Rose, eyes wide and lost in thought. “I hadn’t even thought about it. I guess that’s something I have to keep in mind from now on…”
She was silent for a few moments while trying to figure something out.
“There’s really no right time to tell somepony, is there? Not really first date conversation if the pony doesn’t know already…”
Rose said, barely above a whisper, “I don’t expect things to go too far tonight, but I’ll bring it up just in case before they do.”
Doubt started to creep in.
“Maybe I’m way in over my head. It was stupid, accepting.”
“None of that now!”
The voice had been barely audible, but it still quieted the room. The group turned to look at Fluttershy.
“You look beautiful, you’re a great mare, and you’re just nervous,” she said. “I agree, you should tell him before things get serious, but you should not psyche yourself out. If he doesn’t like that you’re trans, then he doesn’t deserve you.”
Rose looked at her, feeling her nerves calm down.
“Thank you.”
Rose had thanked her friends a lot for their help before Granite had come to pick her up, all of them having had walked with her to her home. However, she made a mental note that she needed to thank them even more next time she saw them.
Rose had never felt more beautiful in her life, or happier. Her dress was perfect, her hair was perfect, and the night was perfect. Granite, as composed as he tried to look, had stared awkwardly for two minutes (mouth agape) when he picked her up. Even now, Rose could see him taking quick glances at her and then his surroundings, as if unsure of whether or not this date was really happening.
It was.
The date itself had been quite wonderful. The food had been exquisite and their conversation even more so. During dinner, Rose talked about some of her funnier experiences in Ponyville, while Granite talked about his experiences in the Guard Reserve. When the checks finally came out, Rose paid for her own dinner, but only after a twenty-minute debate and solely because of her quicker reflexes.
Whereas the dinner had been a fairly verbose event, the walk that followed was quiet. Both ponies walked with their eyes to the sky, watching the stars. There was still no moon, but that did not make the night any less striking. The cold from the past night was there too, but where last night the cold had been a harsh dealer of bitter wind, urging ponies to stay at home, tonight it was a gentle friend, nudging the two ponies together as they tried to consolidate whatever warmth they could muster.
Eventually, they arrived at his home.
Granite lived in a one-pony house in the outskirts of town. The house was smaller than Rose’s, but far homier, with tapestries on the walls, rugs, and more furniture than a few chairs and tables. The ponies came in, taking off their overcoats. Rose went to sit on the couch while Granite went to get the ice cream.
“I know what you mean now, no wonder Luna was as mad she was a thousand years ago,” said Granite. “I would be too if I put that much work into something and everypony ignored it.”
“I know, right? I’m always amazed when I go out at night and there’s nopony out there,” said Rose while Granite sat next to her, placing the ice cream on the table in front of them. “I always feel like I discovered a treasure that no one else can see.”
“I’d love to see it with you again,” said Granite. “Though maybe when it’s not so cold out.”
“I don’t know,” said Rose, smiling as she scooted closer to him. “I kind of liked it.”
Granite looked shocked for a second but relaxed, moving his front leg so that Rose could lay her head on his shoulder.
“Oh, in that case, yeah!” said Granite, “Blood circulation is for wimps anyway.”
Rose let out a quick giggle.
“Here you are complaining about the cold as we’re about to eat ice cream,” said Rose.
Granite gave her an amused smile.
“This is completely different,” he responded. “For starters, I have things to keep me warm. A roof, walls, blankets…” he made a point to stare at her, “you.”
Rose felt a chill roll down her back as she stared into his eyes. She could feel heat coming from her face and knew she was blushing, but she did not particularly care. She nuzzled into his chest.
For a while they ate their ice cream in silence, except for the occasional comment. It was a warm silence, and more than comfortable: it was affectionate. After the ice cream was finished they continued to sit there, making small talk, both knowing that the date had to come to an end at some point, but neither wanting to be the one to break the spell.
“You’re so wonderful,” Rose said, nuzzling into his neck. “I wish I didn’t have to go home just yet.”
“You don’t necessarily have to.”
Rose looked into Granite’s eyes, seeing both a touch of confidence, and a mountain of nervousness. However, nervous as he was, he held her gaze.
“You’re beautiful when you blush.”
Rose had not noticed she was blushing, but, if she had not been, she certainly was now. Very slowly Granite inched forward until their lips met. It was a restrained kiss: Granite did not want to overstep his boundaries, or at least it was restrained until Rose kissed back. Both ponies got lost in the kiss, letting instincts take over, feeling nothing but warmth.
Granite laid Rose on the couch, kissing her neck as one of his hooves traced along her side. They kissed again, this time without restraint, just a want for closeness. Rose savored it until the kiss was gone, moving again to her neck.
She wanted nothing more than to let him continue, to do more and to get lost in the sensations. She did not want to think, but she had to.
Softly, gently, and with a twinge of regret, she used her hoof to guide Granite’s face away from her neck. She sat up, and Granite, albeit confused, followed suit.
“Is something wrong, Rose?” he asked. She could see the concern in his eyes, which made it all the harder to continue.
“No, nothing’s wrong,” Rose said. “This is wonderful. You are wonderful.”
“We were moving too fast, weren’t we? I’m sorry; I got carried away and…”
“Shhh…” Rose said gently. “You’re fine, it was fine. In fact, it was more than fine, and I wanted it to continue.”
“Then?”
Rose sighed.
“It’s just,” she said. “Look, if we’re going to get... physical, there’s something I want to clarify first.”
“Okay?”
“When you saved me last night, did you hear what they were calling me?”
“Yeah, they called you a drag queen and a transvestite,” he said, anger flaring in his eyes.
“And do you know why they called me that?” she asked tentatively.
“Because they are insensitive, idiotic, disrespectful, ignorant specs of dirt,” Granite said, his anger tainting his voice. “I shouldn’t have let them go; I should’ve done something.”
Rose could not help but smile.
“See, I assumed you already knew but I wanted to make sure you knew I was transgender before anything happened,” said Rose. “You have no idea how much I’ve been worrying about...”
“…What?” he interrupted.
Rose’s throat tightened as a horrible thought came into her mind. However, it was too late to backpedal.
“I mean, I figured you knew I was transgender, but I was asking to make sure just in case…”
“You’re a stallion?”
Rose winced at the word and then turned to look at him. Gone was his smile. Gone was his nervous demeanor. All that remained were shock and disgust.
“You mean to tell me I was with a stallion all night?” he said in a strained voice.
He got off from the couch, pacing around the living room as he made a gagging sound.
Rose tried to salvage the situation.
“I thought you knew. When you protected me, you…”
“I thought they were picking on a mare that looked stallionish,” he said in desperation. “Not giving a freak what he deserved.”
Repulsion quickly changed into anger as he got closer to her again.
“You tricked me,” he said in an accusatory tone. His voice was short and strained from the barely-contained rage.
“You’re going to pay for that.”
Before she could make sense of the situation he turned around, bucking her in the face and sending her tumbling over the couch. She watched from the floor as Granite began to walk around the couch and towards her, only, it was not him.
Walking in front of her was her dad.
She could not move, she could not fight; her body was in shock. Her dad grabbed her by the throat and punched her in the stomach. She closed her eyes in pain and, when she opened them, it was Granite holding her by the throat. He kept punching her in the face and the stomach repeatedly as she struggled to breathe. She could barely hear anything over the pain, but she caught a few sounds.
“I can’t believe this, and I kissed you!” he said, making gagging noises again. “You will pay for this.”
He threw her across the room at a wall. The impact was hard. She landed on the floor.
She attempted to pick herself up but could not. All she could do was raise her head. She saw her dad walking towards her again, the look of anger and disgust in his eyes, that same one that still haunted her dreams.
He kicked her again, this time on her side, slamming her against the wall. She turned to look and it was Granite again. With barely any effort, he threw her again, onto the middle of the floor.
She landed on her back.
Her body was limp and both her mane and coat were stained with dark blood. Her vision was blurred, partly because of her tears, and partly because she was losing consciousness. She looked up to see Granite stalking up to her and position his hoof above her head, ready to stomp down. She blinked. Her father raised his hoof, fury in his demeanor. She closed her eyes.
Rose tried to beg, but no sound came out. Her throat hurt and it was hard to breathe. Her instincts told her to open her eyes and look for a way out, but she would not. She did not dare open them to see if it would be her dad or Granite who would end her life.
Suddenly there came a sound, like someone blowing a door off its hinges. She opened her eyes but the world was already starting to fade. She heard a muffled shout of some sort. She tried to turn to look at its direction but she could not because, at that moment, her world faded to black.
A small black pegasus jumped off a cloud, opening his wings. He could not fly, though, and he plummeted towards the ground until a larger pegasus caught him.
“You almost had it this time, Slant.”
“Do I have to keep trying? What if I get hurt?”
“Slant, I’m your father, and as long as I’m here I won’t let anything hurt you."
Rose headed out from her home with Granite, leaving the rest of the group behind.
“So, Fluttershy,” Applejack said turning to look at the pink-haired mare. “You’re really not worried about her?”
Fluttershy gave the question a moment’s thought.
“Are you going to follow her on her date regardless of what I say?” she responded.
“Pretty much.”
“Then no, I’m not worried.”
Applejack then turned to Rainbow Dash.
“How about it, Rainbow, want to tag along?”
“You read my mind.”
And so the two friends set out to follow Rose.
For the most part, following them had been a fairly easy affair. The two ponies were distracted enough with each other, so they did not notice the orange mare or the cyan pegasus watching them from a slight distance. The hardest part of this was keeping an eye on them without intruding on their privacy. This had been easy enough at the restaurant when they had been eating in a room full of ponies. It was different when it was just the two ponies walking alone in the park.
Applejack and Rainbow Dash felt wrong spying through something so intimate. Rose and Granite were not doing anything weird or sensual, but it was still their moment to have in the privacy of night. As such, Applejack stayed hidden in an area of the park while Rainbow hovered on a cloud. Neither could see the couple, but if there was trouble, they would be able to hear it.
Eventually Rainbow spotted the two ponies heading towards a house in the outskirts of town. She signaled to Applejack and the two followed, watching as the two ponies they were following went indoors.
The two mares did not know what to do at this point, so they went to the side of the house to think. They could not really hear anything going on, so they were just about to go home when there was a loud thump against the wall they were sitting by.
“Did you hear that?” whispered Applejack.
“I don’t know, it sounded like something big got thrown against the wall.”
They looked at each other.
“Do you think something’s wrong?” asked Rainbow.
“I don’t know; whatever got thrown sounded like it got thrown real hard, though.”
They walked to the front of the house, standing by the door. They could hear a few muffled sounds, but nothing that raised concern.
“AJ, I think you should kick the door down. You could knock it straight off its hinges,” said Rainbow Dash, rather frantically. Applejack was looking nervous.
“I don’t know, Rainbow… What if it’s a misunderstanding?” she said. “We need more reason before…”
There was another loud thump. The two looked at each other in horror.
“Rainbow, step aside.”
Rainbow Dash moved out of the way, readying herself to fly in. Applejack positioned herself, turned away from the door, and kicked it down. As Rainbow had suggested, it flew off its hinges.
Rainbow wasted no time. She flew in looking for Rose and Granite, both of whom were in the middle of the room. She noticed that Granite was about to stomp Rose’s face.
“What do you think you’re doing!” yelled Rainbow as she tackled Granite, sending him flying against a wall. Applejack rushed in. Granite pushed Rainbow off of him, landing one hit on her face. Applejack tackled him and then turned to give him a well-placed kick in the stomach. Granite grabbed her by the tail and threw her away, just as Rainbow delivered a kick to his face. She continued pounding his chest and stomach in a rage.
Applejack opened her eyes, saw Rose in front of her, and took a good look. She yelped in horror.
“Rainbow, I need you here, NOW!”
Rainbow Dash stopped attacking the unconscious stallion and rushed to her friend, eyes widening as she noticed Rose’s condition.
“Oh no.”
Rose’s mane was more red than purple now, as a small puddle of blood formed around her. Underneath her ripped dress were purple and red bruises. She seemed to have a few broken bones in her ribcage from the difficulty with which she was breathing. There were red marks on her throat. Her tear-soaked face was sporting a broken jaw. She was unconscious.
“Hey, I was visiting a friend next door and I heard a lot of noise when I came out. Is everything o… Oh my goodness! What happened!!?”
Applejack turned to the new arrival with panic on her face.
“Bon Bon, Rose is in trouble. We need help.”
A small pegasus heard crying.
He walked through the house looking for the noise, ending at his parent’s bedroom. He walked in, seeing his parents sitting on their bed.
“Mommy, why are you crying?”
The pegasus was confused; his mom was crying but she was smiling at the same time.
“You’re going to have a baby brother, Slant.”
“I am?”
“Yes, and it’s going to be your job to care for him and protect him and guide him.”
“Like you and Dad do for me?”
“Yes son, like we do for you.”
Applejack had instructed Bon Bon to stay by Rose’s side while she and Rainbow Dash went to get help. Their plan was for Applejack to alert the ponies that needed to be alerted while Rainbow Dash went to get help from the hospital. They would send someone out to pick up Rose and take her to the hospital, which is where Applejack was telling the ponies to meet.
The whole thing had been nerve-wracking. Seeing Rose like this kept a constant stream of tears running down Bon Bon’s face, which was mixed with panic whenever Rose had stopped breathing. Applejack had mentioned something about a broken rib, which prevented Bon Bon from doing any type of CPR for fear that she might make things worse, meaning that all she could do was sit there and hope she would start breathing again; thankfully, she did.
She had sat there in fear and terror, staring at her friend. A friend that might never wake up.
She suddenly found her reservations about Rose being trans reproachful.
“This is a pony, a life,” she said. “Nopony deserves this.”
She wept freely until the paramedics arrived, stepping outside to avoid being in the way. She watched as they lifted Rose onto a low-flying cloud, speeding her away to the hospital. She was about to follow when she found herself in a deep hug.
Lyra hugged Bon Bon for what felt like an eternity, with both mares weeping softly onto the other. Eventually they broke away.
“I came over as soon as I could,” said Lyra.
“Good, saves the time of going to get you,” Bon Bon responded. “Let’s go, we need to get to the hospital.”
Lyra shook her head.
“Not yet, we need to tell the others,” she said. “You tell Derpy; I’ll tell Vinyl.”
Beep Beep… Beep Beep... Beep Beep…
“What’s that noise? Where am I?”
“You’re in the hospital, son.”
“Why?”
“You got sick… You got very sick.”
The pegasus watched as his father cried at his bedside.
“It’s ok, Dad, it’s ok.”
“Yes it is, because you’re ok.”
Vinyl was standing alongside Lyra at Rose’s bedside. Her purple shades were normally a fashion accessory and nothing more. They did not boost her confidence, they were not prescription glasses, and they were not something she hid behind. She had nothing to hide. At least normally.
This day, however, staring at her friend as she struggled against her injuries for each arduous breath, Vinyl would not take off her glasses for Princess Celestia herself. She needed something between herself and reality.
Rose was hooked up to a lot of machines. There was a tube going down her throat to help her breathe, an IV hooked up to her arm, and a lot of bandages. To Vinyl, this did not look real. No pony could survive this kind of carnage. No pony would hurt somepony else this badly.
And yet, this was real, and it scared her immensely.
The door opened, allowing Derpy and Bon Bon inside. Bon Bon went straight to Lyra’s side while Derpy stared in shock at her friend. Vinyl noticed that Derpy had not brought Dinky with her.
“Good,” she thought. “No filly should know that the world can do this to a pony.”
Shaking slightly, Vinyl approached Derpy.
“Hey, Derpy…”
“Yes Vinyl?” Derpy had tears in her eyes and Vinyl felt bad for what she was about to ask, but it needed to be done.
“Look, I know you’re just as good a friend to her as the rest of us, and I know you want to stay here as much as we all do. But I have this letter I need to send to Octavia,” Vinyl said, pulling out a letter, “She’s a friend of Rose’s too, and she needs to know what happened. I’d deliver it myself but I’m not a pegasus, and I want to make sure she gets it as soon as possible…”
“Hand it over,” said Derpy with determination on her face.
“Thank you, Derpy.”
“There’s a catch though,” Derpy said, staring into Vinyl’s shades. “You’d better not dare leave her side until I get back.”
“You’ve got it, Derpy.”
“What if none of the other colts and fillies like me?”
“Don’t be ridiculous Slant; of course they’ll like you!”
“How can you be sure?”
“Because we love you.”
“That’s not fair! You guys are my parents; you’re supposed to love me!”
“Doesn’t change the fact that we do, and we always will.”
The flight to Canterlot was rough but Derpy had motivation. She did not feel the cold wind as she flew, nor did she feel the ache of her wings from forcing them to travel as fast as she was traveling, or for as long a distance. All she could feel was anger that someone had hurt Rose as badly as they had, and fear that she would not be there by the time she got back.
Once in Canterlot it was easy enough to find the Concert Hall in which the Canterlot Orchestra was scheduled to perform. It was still early for the show, and therefore there were no lines and no security. Derpy went inside, spotting the cellist as she carried her instrument on stage.
“Octavia! I have a letter for you but we need to hurry!” yelled Derpy.
Octavia looked at her in confusion but took the letter regardless.
“Ditzy isn’t it?” asked Octavia. “I do believe we’ve met but only briefly. Is everything ok?”
“Just read the letter,” said Derpy, feeling anxious about not having left yet.
Octavia opened the letter and read it, eyes widening as she reached the bottom. The conductor of the orchestra called to her.
“Octavia, is everything alright?”
“No, it is not. I’m leaving for Ponyville on the next available train.”
“But you just came from Ponyville.”
“This time it’s an emergency,” she responded.
The young pegasus was being dragged along by his mother.
“I cannot believe you would run off like that, Slant.”
“I’m sorry I made you mad, Mommy.”
“Mad? I’m not mad, Slant. I’m upset. I turned around and you weren’t there anymore. I thought I lost you! Please promise me that you’ll stick with me from now on. Please?”
“Ok, Mommy.”
“Good. I don’t want to lose you.”
The train ride to Ponyville had been a long and silent journey indeed. Nopony ever took the late-night trains and Derpy had insisted on flying back to get there as fast as possible, so Octavia rode the train on her own with only her worries to keep her company.
As she slept on the train ride she had a nightmare of the day that Script disappeared from Canterlot. She would not fall asleep again until after she knew that Rose was ok.
The train arrived in Ponyville in the morning, with Octavia getting out and rushing to the hospital. This time there were no ponies waiting for her at the station, but she knew where to find them.
As she got to the hospital she immediately found Vinyl and approached her. The two embraced in a hug. There was no need for words. As she broke the hug, Octavia noticed tears dripping past the cover of Vinyl’s shades. She’d need to fix that too, but there was something she needed to do first. Stepping into the room, she relieved Pinkie from her post. She stared at her friend.
She had prepared for this image on the train. Vinyl’s letter had been really explicit as to what she could expect to see, and as such, she had prepared for this. And yet, nothing could have prepared her for what she saw. Tears fell freely down her face.
“No, you’re not allowed to leave me like this again,” she wept. “I already lost you once, I cannot lose you again.”
Rose was immobile and unconscious but Octavia continued.
“I know you prefer Rose now, but to me you will always be Script. The one that was there when I needed you. And I need you right now, Script. I need you to wake up, and smile, and make a dumb joke about how uptight I am or how I cannot play the cello. I need you to know that I forgive you for what happened, it wasn’t your fault. Any of it. I need you to know that even though I decided that I would never date you back in school, I never stopped loving you. I need you to know that I was being stupid and dumb and I’m sorry…”
Octavia’s voice cracked with the strain of fear and emotion.
“But more than anything, I need you to stay…” she sobbed. “I don’t want to lose you.”
“Dad, why do you care so much about belonging to the Rhyme family?”
“Huh, I thought you would know the answer to that already, Slant.”
“Well, I guess I do. It’s a noble family that’s been around since the start of Celestia’s reign, full of famous writers and prestige… But you bring it up all the time… is it really that important?”
His dad smiled.
“You missed the most important part of all, Slant.”
“What is it?”
“That it’s our family.”
The pegasus looked confused.
“Family is a special thing, Slant. Your family will always love you, they will always take care of you, they will fight for you, and they will be there for you with whatever you need. You can always rely on family. The reason that the Rhyme family is so important is because of the ponies in that family. It’s not about the titles; well, not completely. The majority is simply that I’m proud to be there for your mom, your brother, and you.”
“So family is who’s there when things are bad?”
“Family is who’s there when things are bad, and makes them better.”
Rose slowly opened her eyes, wincing at the bright light she saw. She was in a white room with a lot of machines, one of which was beeping. She was in a hospital.
“Perfect,” she thought to herself. She began to remember the incidents from her last conscious night, tears beginning to form. Then she looked down.
Surrounding her bed was a collection of eleven ponies, all of them asleep. Closest to her was Octavia, who was actually resting her head on the bed. Next to her were Vinyl and Derpy. Bon Bon and Lyra were sitting in the corner of the room with Bon Bon’s head resting on Lyra’s shoulder. Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity were sleeping on the floor while Applejack, Twilight, and Rainbow Dash slept on a few cushions. They all looked like they were getting the first sleep they had gotten in ages and, if she was not mistaken, they all had tear stains on their cheeks.
“For however long I’ve been out,” Rose figured, “they were probably here by my side.”
She could not help but smile.
“Ow,” she said softly. “It hurts to smile.”
Octavia shivered as she woke up, turning her head to check on her friend, sitting up when she realized that the friend she was staring at was staring back.
Rose did not want to wake anypony in the hospital, and therefore was content to greet each pony as they woke up on their own time. This proved a good system until Pinkie woke up, at which point everyone else was woken up by the party pony.
Soon everypony gathered around, filling Rose in on what happened while she was unconscious. The story started with Rainbow Dash and Applejack following her on her date, for which she would be eternally grateful, and ended with Octavia arriving at the hospital, with each pony piping in whenever they came into the story.
“What about Granite?” Rose asked.
The room became instantly colder at the mention of his name.
“He’s been transferred to Canterlot where he will be tried by the Princesses themselves,” said Twilight.
“How much did you tell them about me,” asked Rose.
“Everything I’m afraid,” said Twilight. “I would’ve kept things to myself but you never know what detail might be important. I did tell them that you did not want any conflict with your family and would rather not have to go to Canterlot to testify. She promised to use what I told her in her private court and nowhere else, so you’re safe.”
“Yes, we’re just sorry you had to go through any of this at all,” said Lyra.
“I am too, but I feel like I learnt something. I just can’t figure out what it is,” said Rose. “Whatever it is though, it’s important.”
Twilight turned to Rose.
“I know it may seem silly, but one of the things that help me focus and work through things like that is when I write my letters to Celestia,” said Twilight, “It helps me glean what’s important and how I got there. You could always do something like that, even if you don’t send it.”
Rose smiled at Twilight.
“Thank you, Twi,” she said. “I think I’ll give it a try.”
Dear Princess Luna,
You may not know me, but my name is Evening Rose.
This is not my legal name, something which I’m working to change as soon as possible, so you won’t be able to find me in the registry. I could give you my old name, but it isn’t who I am, and I’d rather the real me be the one to write this letter. Besides, if I hear correctly, you and your sister did hear about me recently.
Twilight suggested that I write Princess Celestia a letter about some of the things I’ve learnt in Ponyville as a way to clear my thoughts. I like the idea but I’d rather write to you instead. Whenever I’ve been hurt, lonely, or scared, it’s been your nights in which I’ve found comfort. The stars, the moon, and a midnight breeze are pretty much my roommates by now from all the times I’ve turned to them for advice and reprieve, and as such, I feel like pouring my soul out to you is far more natural.
Before I tell you what I learnt though, I feel I should let you know a couple of things about me.
First, I moved to Ponyville during the summer, running away from my old city.
Second, I’m a big fan of your work.
Third, I’m a transpony.
That last one is probably one you don’t hear often, and I must confess that I don’t know if you and your sister have any thoughts on the matter, but based on Twilight and her friends, I’ll assume hope you don’t have any major problems.
As I said, I ran away from home because I wasn’t accepted as a transpony. The move was hard, and even when I arrived I had a hard time trusting ponies. Everyone seemed like a danger to me. However, slowly but surely, I have adapted and learnt a few things in the process.
The first thing I learnt is that there is boundless good and beauty in this world, but there is also boundless spite and hate. I’m currently writing from a hospital bed in which I’ll be for a few weeks before I’m transferred to another bed for a few months because of the latter. Still, it is important to remember that the bad doesn’t outweigh the good, or even match it.
It may seem like it does when you are facing your death at the hands of someone ignorant or hateful, but that’s because it’s in the moment. Outside of that moment I can see the countless ponies I’ve befriended, a community filled with ponies that may not understand but at least support somepony’s right to be happy. Sometimes one loses track of that, but it doesn’t mean it’s not there.
Now, that’s not to say things are not difficult; one bad thing may not outweigh all the good but depending on what it is, it can be the only thing that matters. It doesn’t even have to be some ultimate evil type scenario; most of the time it’s our own insecurities.
For example, I’m finding that it’s bothering me more and more that I don’t think I’ll be able to truly be a mare. I can’t change my body, and everyone I know knows me as trans. I’m no longer ashamed of being trans like I used to be, but it’s still not something I aspire to live as. I want to be known as a mare, not a transpony, and the despair I feel when I realize how impossible that journey is can often be insurmountable. To be honest, I’m not even sure I’ll get past it. I’m not sure I’ll be ok.
However, I have a great network of friends that have already and continue to push me onwards, and here’s where the other lesson I learnt kicks in.
I used to think that I lost my family when I left home, and that as many friends as I made, it would be a loss that I’d have to carry with me. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
My friends have proved in the past few days how much they’re willing to give of themselves for the ponies they care about. Regardless of how much distance there is or of any arguments there may be, friends will put it all aside when one needs them most, and that makes them family more so than blood relations or having the same last name.
“Family is who’s there when things are bad, and makes them better.”
I don’t remember who I heard say that but it rings true, and I have a very large family indeed.
So, that’s Arc 2 of Dysphoria. What did you think?
I feel like my writing is getting better, and even though there were less chapters, they were longer and I got to really explore the characters. However, you may have thought my writing was awful and clunky, and that’s ok too.
So, what happens next?
Well, as I said during the last Epilogue? I planned Arcs 1 and 2 alongside Arc 3.
If you're reading this, then that means that the first chapter of Dysphoria, Arc 3: Canterlot (otherwise known as "Rose finally becomes an active character!") is up and you should go read it now!
As I have also previously explained, Arc 3 will be more of an Adventure piece taking place in Canterlot, exploring some of the time bombs that I set up in this arc. Not only that, but I mean it in regards to Rose actually getting to do things. In Arcs 1 and 2 she was passive in that things happened to her and that her existence (not actions) changed those around her. In Arc 3, she makes choices, acts on them, and takes her life into her own hooves!
Should be fun right?
Well.. at least I'm excited...
The one thing I should mention is that, since I'm still trying to figure out the best time to post schedules to get people that haven't already read the story to look at it, I will be tweaking my release schedule a bit.
I'll still update at least every Monday and Friday, but I will do so at 6pm EST rather than 5. I hope it's not that much of an inconvenience.
Oh, and I also said I'd explain what made chapter 5 so special right?
While I was writing Chapter 5, something interesting happened. Normally I plan and outline the story in advance. This involves writing the characters, the events, and their importance for me to fill out later.
Octavia was originally supposed to be just a character that shows up, exposes on things in Canterlot, disapproves of Rose, but then gets over it. However, when I was writing the chapter things felt wrong and I revised it multiple times, making severe changes until that chapter was less about Canterlot, and more about Octavia’s relationship with Rose and how that had changed. I realized that it was more important to explore how an old friendship deals with this rather than adding exposition, because anything else felt wrong for Octavia.
The is my first instance of a character telling me what to do, and it was awesome. However, it left me in a corner.
I was now basing their relationship on something deep that I had not explored, leaving a huge void to be filled in.
And so I did.
This is me announcing that after I'm done with the story proper, there will be an extra Arc that serves as a prequel to the series. I already outlined the whole thing in a lot, and I do mean A LOT, of detail (the outline is 47,293 words).
Dysphoria, Arc 0: Octavia will be a story about the relationship between Octavia and Slant Rhyme as they grew up in Canterlot society. It will include a bit of romance but will mostly be a story about two friends helping each other through their emotional and mental struggles. The story will have Octavia as the main character, which is exciting for me because she’s quickly growing into my favorite.
I’ll also still be writing the side fics I said I would in my last Epilogue? and other new ideas I get. However, as I said last time, I’m putting most of my focus on finishing the Arcs.
So, to recap:
There is an Arc 3, go read it now! There will be an Arc 0, go get excited! I’m working on side fics the second I'm done with the Arcs. New content at least every Monday and Friday at 6pm EST.
If you want to keep up with it all you need to favorite, follow, and stalk. Oh, and please share the story? Only if you think it's worth sharing though.
Thank you for reading,
-thedarkprep
P.S. If you have any questions about anything trans-related or you just want to talk about it, please don’t hesitate to send me a private message. I’d love to help.
