Chapter 1 – All Grown Up!
“Open wide! Here comes the choo choo train!”
Pinkie brought forward a spoonful of mushy peas to Gummy’s mouth, trying to squeeze it between the crocodile’s lips. Unfazed, the gator stayed locked in position, not moving an inch.
“Silly Gummy! That’s not how you eat! You have to open up your mouth like this, see?”
Pinkie began gaping as wide as she could, sticking out her tongue and gesturing for Gummy to copy. However, her pet was being rather uncooperative.
“Nice try, you’re almost getting it! Just open up a little wider…” Pinkie grabbed a crowbar and began to force open his mouth, revealing a full set of sharp teeth. “You’re almost there…”
About an inch of space was made in Gummy’s mouth, prompting the pink party pony to quickly shovel in his dinner. The croc’s jaws snapped shut again and he gulped it down.
“No, silly!” Pinkie said with a giggle. “I keep telling you, you’re not supposed to eat the spoon!” She opened up a cupboard filled from top to bottom with metal spoons of various sizes. “Now, let’s try again. Say ‘ah’”
As she began another attempt to feed the massive beast, Mr and Mrs Cake turned the corner into the kitchen looking incredibly worried. “Pinkie?” Mr Cake called out.
“Just a moment, Mr Cake. I’m nearly done feeding Gummy.”
“Pinkie… This is something urgent. We need to speak with you.”
“Like, ‘speak to me in private’ speak to me?”
“Yes, something like that. Pinkie, about this—”
“But Mr Cake!” Pinkie threw the spoons aside and leapt onto Gummy’s back, holding her hooves over his ears. (Or at least, where she assumed his ears were) “We can’t talk in private if Gummy is in the room!”
She opened up the door to the back garden and kicked her pet’s rear to get him moving. Once they were both outside the gator was shuffled into a wooden shed, the words; ‘Danger’, ‘Approach with caution’ and ‘If you want to keep your hooves, don’t make any sudden moves!’ plastered on the side in spray paint.
“Now you stay here and be good! Mummy just has to sort out some important, grown-up matters. OK?”
Gummy’s unsynchronised blink was his only response.
“Aw, I love you too!”
The excitable pony gave him a big hug around the snout before bouncing back to the kitchen, slamming the door behind her and turning to face Mr and Mrs Cake.
“So, what did you want to talk to me about? It’s not another conversation about contraceptives, is it? I already told you that there are no ‘ceptives’ in any of the Contra games. Not a single one!”
“No, Pinkie…” Mr Cake began nervously, wiping the sweat from his brow. “We’re here to talk to you about your upcoming visit to Ibiza-Ville.”
“The party capital of the world!” Pinkie exclaimed, leaping up and banging against the ceiling. “It’s gonna be awesome! Vinyl Scratch is gonna be playing, and they have dance-floors with flashing lights, and boom-boom music that makes your ears bleed, and all the cider you could ever dream of!”
“We were actually talking about what’s going to happen while you’re away. We… need to make arrangements for Gummy.”
“Why’s that? I thought he could stay here with you. He can play with Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake to keep him busy. You just need to remember to feed him twice a day. He especially likes marmalade on toast, beetroot milkshake, blackberry pudding…”
As Pinkie went on, Mr and Mrs Cake watched nervously through the window to the back garden as a stray cat jumped over the fence and began walking across the lawn. It wandered curiously up to Gummy’s shed, sniffing around when out of the darkness, Gummy pounced, snapping his jaws shut on the feline and swallowing it whole.
“… and he also likes peanut butter sandwiches, but only if you make the peanut butter into a smiley face. It’s remarkable, really! I have no idea how he’s gotten so big and strong. It’s probably just because of all the love we shower on him every day. Oh my goodness!” Pinkie gasped. “You don’t think he’s part changeling, do you?”
“No, Pinkie,” said Mrs Cake, clearing her throat. “He’s not part changeling. But still, he can’t stay here while you’re away.”
“Aw, but why not?”
The Cakes looked anxiously at each other, trying to think up a reason that wouldn’t break the mare’s heart. “It’s b-because…” Mr Cake stuttered, “We have an order coming for a lot of peanut butter sandwiches, blackberry pudding and… everything else you just said. We can’t afford to have Gummy around if there’s a chance he could eat it when we’re not looking.”
“That’s true…” Pinkie said glumly. “He can get quite persistent when it comes to feeding time. So, if he can’t stay here, where can he go?”
“We already have that taken care of, actually,” replied Mr Cake, presenting Pinkie with a brochure. “This is the St. Fluttershy Animal Shelter.”
“Really? It’s so small. And where are all the animals?” Pinkie began unfolding the pages, flicking through intently.
“No, that’s just the brochure, Pinkie. The shelter itself is on the outskirts of Ponyville.”
“Ohhhhhhh… I see now. Gotcha.”
“We think it would be best if you leave him there while you’re gone. Fluttershy would have wanted you to… if she was still here.”
“I know…” Pinkie responded, a tear falling down her cheek. “It’s a shame she moved up north.”
“Then it’s settled?” asked Mrs Cake.
“Yup!”
“OK, here’s five bits to pay for the fee.” Mr Cake pushed a coin-purse to the pink mare.
“Thank you so much!” Pinkie cried, embracing the two ponies. “As soon as I’ve packed all my things for Ibiza-Ville I’ll take him straight there!”
“Good,” Mr Cake said with a smile. “And Pinkie?”
“Yes Mr Cake?”
The stallion begrudgingly pulled up an oblong carton and placed it on the kitchen side. “Take the pills while you’re away, just in case.”
“Just in case what?”
“Just… in case,” he said nervously.
“Okie Dokie Lokie!” Pinkie cried. She rushed upstairs, singing a song to herself. “I whip my mane back and forth! I whip my mane back and forth!”
Chapter 2 – For a Few Bits More
“Come on Gummy! This is going to be hard for the both of us, but I promise I’ll make it up to you as soon as I get back from Ibiza-Ville!”
Pinkie Pie had had a rope tied to her midsection, the other end wrapped around her pet crocodile. Gummy was refusing to walk, and was instead being dragged across the cobblestone by the bouncing pink mare, etching deep scratch marks into the road all the way from Sugarcube Corner to the other side of Ponyville.
Ponies that left their houses immediately leapt back inside once they’d caught sight of the massive gator, bolting the doors down and blockading the windows. An approaching couple shrieked in horror, the stallion jumping into the mare’s forelegs as she bolted in the opposite direction.
“Young love!” Pinkie exclaimed. “Such a crazy, beautiful thing!”
Just beyond the hill, a large building made of corrugated metal loomed, its outer walls covered with murals of cheerful animals running through a colourful meadow. At its side was an enclosed sanctuary filled with trees, tire swings and rope ladders. The sign above, accompanied by a picture of a certain yellow pegasus read:
Dedicated to Fluttershy
Who lives on in our hearts
As well as just in general
Pinkie Pie approached the entrance where a grumpy looking stallion was sat in a booth, gazing at a magazine. He didn’t even look up as the pair stood directly in front of him.
“Hello!” Pinkie cried. “I need a place to keep my cuddly, wuddly, cutesy, wutesy, adorable little pet for a few days!”
No response.
“I’ve brought a list of his favourite food, his favourite sports, and his favourite board games,” said Pinkie, hurling a rolled-up scroll into the stallion’s face. “If you don’t play scrabble with him at least twice a week he gets really cranky!”
No response.
“He’s also very particular about décor. He gets positively infuriated by the modern, minimalistic style. Also, he can get quite shy in crowded areas. If that happens, you may need to give him an hour-long cuddle.”
No response.
Confused, Pinkie waved her hoof in front of the stallion’s face. She flicked his magazine to a different page but he still kept staring at it intently. “Hello?”
Gummy sneezed loudly.
“You’re right!” she chirped, face-hoofing. The pink mare pressed her hoof down on the brass service bell. “Ding ding!”
“How can I help you, Miss?” the stallion asked politely, a massive grin across his face.
“Hello! I need a place for my pet to stay!”
“Absolutely!” he said exuberantly. “I just need to run through all the various costs…” He pressed a button, prompting a long roll of receipt to rise up from a hole in the desk. He ripped it off and put on a pair of reading glasses. “Let’s see here… Taking into account booking fees, travel costs, VAT, crocodile tax, coercive billing, living costs, the benefit scheme, insurance and accumulative arrears… You’re looking at a grand total of six bits.”
“Six bits!?” Pinkie cried angrily, thumping her hoof down. “I came here with five bits, and five bits is what I’m going to pay!”
“I’m sorry Miss, but we have strict standards regarding payment.”
“Well so do I!” she bellowed, “And my standards tell me not to pay more than I can afford!”
“That may be the case, but it is beyond me to change company procedure.”
“Surely there must be something you can do? Can’t you get your boss to make an exception for me? Please?” Pinkie pleaded, batting her eyelashes.
The stallion furrowed his brow. “Well, I guess I could call head office.” He brought out a rotary dial telephone and began inputting the number.
Many miles away, Fluttershy sat at her desk as CEO of Fluttershy Inc. The pegasus relaxed in her leather chair, watching as the beads of her Newton’s cradle swung back and forth. Suddenly, the phone rang.
BRRRING! BRRRING!
Fluttershy leapt in fright, toppling the chair over and scrambling to the wall. Her heart racing, she took three deep breaths to try and calm herself down.
BRRRING! BRRRING!
Very carefully, she crept towards the telephone, nervously picking it up and placing it to her ear.
“He… Hello?”
“FLUTTERSHY!”
The pegasus freaked, smashing the telephone to pieces with her hooves and shrieking at the top of her voice.
“I guess she’s not available,” the stallion said glumly, hanging up. “In that case, I can’t offer you any kind of discount.”
“Fine!” the young mare bellowed. “I don’t want him to stay here anyway! I’ll find a better animal shelter for Gummy! With candy! And balloons! In fact, forget the shelter!”
She angrily tossed the booth’s service bell into the distance and stormed off, dragging her bemused crocodile behind her.
“Don’t worry, Gummy. I’ll find a place for you to stay, even if it means going over my five-bit budget!”
“So… we just have to look after him for three days?” asked Scootaloo.
“That’s right! Just follow my instructions and everything should be A-OK!” Pinkie handed a scroll over to Sweetie Belle.
“Are ya sure ya trust us?” questioned Applebloom, eyeing the scaly beast anxiously. “Ah’m not sure if we’re ready for somethin’ like this.”
“Yeah… I agree,” said Sweetie Belle, poking a hoof at Gummy’s snout. “I’m not even sure we could get him in our clubhouse.”
“I’m sure Gummy can learn to climb if you just be extra nice to him!” Pinkie exclaimed. “And you won’t be going away empty-hooved. I humbly offer a fee of five bits for his care. And who knows, you might even be able to get your cutie marks…” she said slyly, holding out her coin-purse. “But I guess if you don’t want your cutie marks I can just take him somewhere else…”
“Five bits?” Applebloom said with a smile, turning to Scootaloo.
“Cutie marks?” Scootaloo said with a smile, turning to Sweetie Belle.
“We’ll do it!” cried the unicorn.
“Excellent!” Pinkie hopped into the air with glee, landing on top of her favourite crocodile and hugging him as hard as she could. “I’m going to miss you so, so much. You be a good boy for your babysitters, and when I get back, we’ll go on that boat ride across the lake and feed the ducks I’ve been promising for ages. How does that sound?”
Gummy merely blinked in response.
“I love you too!” Pinkie bellowed, kissing him on the head with tears in her eyes. “I’ve really got to go now. Take care, everypony. Bye!”
“Bye!” the Cutie Mark Crusaders hollered back in unison as Pinkie galloped off into the distance.
“So where do we begin?” asked Scootaloo excitedly.
“Let’s see here…” Sweetie Belle opened up the scroll that Pinkie had given her, reading through a list written out in pink crayon. “Sunglasses, gummy bears, glow-sticks, party hats, ginger ale, something control pills, origami paper, fishing rod, ‘transparent balloons’…” She threw the paper down in despair. “These aren’t Gummy’s instructions! This is Pinkie’s shopping list!”
“Oh, I’m sure everything will be fine,” dismissed Scootaloo. “Let’s start by getting him into the clubhouse. Over here, Gummy!” she called, gesturing with one hoof.
“Come on, Gummy!”
“Coo-ee! Gummy!”
“We’ve got crocodile treats in the clubhouse!”
Despite their best efforts, Gummy wouldn’t move an inch.
“Ah don’t think that’s gonna work,” said Applebloom, stroking her chin. “Ah think he needs a bit more encouragement.”
The three fillies lined up on one side of the gator and began to push with all their might, but still, he wouldn’t budge.
“We need somepony stronger to do this,” concluded Sweetie Belle. “Couldn’t Big Macintosh give him a lift?”
“Ah don’t know about that,” replied Applebloom, her eye-line drifting away. “After this one time a gosh-darned gator done nipped his fifth leg, Ah doubt he’d ever wanna see one again.”
As the crusaders took a seat on Gummy’s back, trying to figure something out, they were approached by a familiar pink filly and a playful Labrador puppy.
“Well if it isn’t the Cutie Mark Cry-babies!” taunted Diamond Tiara. “And what is that disgusting creature?”
“Buzz off, Tiara!” Scootaloo shot back. “It’s none of your business!”
“Well that has to be the absolute worst excuse for a pet I’ve ever seen!” she continued, as if she hadn’t been spoken to. “Not like my pet Foofie. He can backflip on command, clear up his own mess and can even speak dog sign language. What can yours do? Just stand there, menacingly?”
“This isn’t a ‘who has the best pet’ contest!” cried Sweetie Belle.
“You’re right, because I’ve already won!” The haughty filly let out a mischievous chuckle. “Now come along, Foofie. We have other places in which to be magnificent!” Diamond Tiara snorted, and turned on her hoof. After about ten or so steps, she stopped. “Foofie? Where are you!? What have you done with him!?”
“Don’t look at us!” spat Scootaloo. “We don’t want anything to do with your dumb dog!”
“Shut up!” Diamond Tiara ordered angrily. “Would you just help me look for him!?”
“Ah wonder if he went up to the clubhouse,” suggested Applebloom. “As much as Ah couldn’t give a boar’s rear about Tiara, Ah wouldn’t want a cute lil’ puppy gettin’ lost.”
The other two fillies nodded and ran up to the clubhouse, opening up cupboards, checking under the mat, and peering from the window. After about a minute of searching, they heard barking from outside.
“There he is!” exclaimed Sweetie Belle, pointing to the puppy that was now barking incessantly. “But where did Diamond Tiara go?”
Gummy nonchalantly scratched his underbelly and let out a resounding belch.
