Twilight receives a letter of challenge... to a costume contest?
Nightmare Night... A celebration with candy, costumes and a side serving of fright. But mostly costumes. Twilight Sparkle receives a letter of challenge... from no other than Trixie Lulamoon, to match their skills... in costume making!
____________________________________________ Sequel to Apples for Thought. Some plot elements carry over, but can be read as a standalone, if need arises.
The sender of this letter officially challenges TWILIGHT SPARKLE, protegé of Princess Celestia of Equestria, to a contest of costumes, held in aforementioned settlement. All postage fees are covered by the recipient of this letter.
Twilight Sparkle grumbled as she paid the patient postal pony with three shiny golden bits; fee for large-distance postage. He accepted them with a smile, and nodded to her as he trotted on his way to his other deliveries.
A letter, now? If what Big Macintosh said the other day was true, Trixie visited Sweet Apple Acres just a week ago! What could her purpose be?
A blue wing snatched the letter from her telekinetic grasp, it's owner giving it a thorough examination.
"So, Trixie's coming back to town?" Rainbow Dash asked her friend, returning the letter. "A costume contest sounds harmless enough... not to mention MY costume will be the most awesome anyway."
Twilight hummed, puttting the declaration to a duel away, deep in thought.
"Still, what is the reason for the sudden challenge?"
Looking up she realised the pegasus was staring at her expectantly. She sighed.
"What is the most awesome costume ever?"
Rainbow grinned.
"Okay, you have to picture this with me. I will go as Daring Do, adventurer and explorer of mysterious... um, places, who has acquired cool ninja and pirate powers, and became a zombie, too. Oh, and wearing a Wonderbolt uniform, too."
"That's... nice, I guess." She couldn't imagine a zombie Daring Do being cool (at least from a sane perspective), with all the craving of brains and whatnot. Still, the pegasus at least had an idea. Who or what should she dress up as?
Purple, purple... What is purple? A suffocated octopus. While it would definitely make an impression, the idea itself is dumb. Still, she doesn't really feel like painting her coat, so she has to figure out what is purple and awesome enough to beat Trixie. 'Purple, awesome, possibly magical? Twilight Sparkle! Haha, just kidding...' Should she go as Spike? Hmm, no, he already did that, there's no fun in repeating that. What if she did paint herself, though? What if she went as her mentor, Princess Celestia? Nah, too cheesy. She needs something awe-inspiring, something undeniably majestic, something symbolic, something... purple.
"Y'know, I can't be arriving late today for my practice, so..."
"Wait! 'can't be arriving'... That's it! BEAR! I'll go as an Ursa Major! It's perfect!"
"Um, Twilight, I hate to break it to you, but you're kinda... vertically challenged to be a towering monstrosity handing out serious punishment, if you catch my drift."
The lavender unicorn waved a hoof dismissively.
"Don't be ridiculous, Rainbow, this is a friendly—I hope—little competition; what matters is the thought and creativity, not being lifelike size... Nopony in their right minds would go as far as making themselves bigger for a simple costume!"
"Dooooon't jinx it, Twilight!" chimed in Pinkie, startling both mares.
"Pinkie, I don't understand what you're saying." Twilight frowned.
"But Twilight, you've read a lot of books and those books all had letters in them, not letters sent by the post office mind you, but letters nevertheless --I wonder if I should write to Mom and Dad tomorrow? – which all spell out, at least in interesting stories, not the boring ones, duh, who reads them anyway? So as I was saying, every time somepony dismisses something as completely ridiculous, it usually comes true! Twilight!"
Confused from the barrage of words, the lavender unicorn could only nod. Pinkie smiled at her happily, then gasped.
"Twiiiiiiiiiiiliiiight! I was being brilliant just a moment ago! I think I have some fake teeth you can borrow for your Ursa costume!"
"Great! Let's go, I am pretty free at the moment. I already sent my letter to the Princesses, so nothing is going to stop me!"
About the same time in Canterlot Castle, Princess Luna was having tea with her sister. The occassion was nothing special, just a chance to finally spend some time together. The door suddenly swung open, and a black unicorn stallion trotted in without the slightest worry in the world. His cutie mark was too obscure to figure out. The two alicorns turned towards the newcomer.
"So, first, I'm bringing good news: the gardeners finally figured out how to distinguish weed from the valuable Magical Reciting Hydrangea; once they realized it sings the alphabet backwards, it was a piece of cake. As for other news... well, it can be good, too."
He levitated two letters to Luna, unfolding them carefully.
"The first is from Ponyville, actually. Some townsfolk decided they'd send you a letter hoping you would attend to this year's Nightmare Night celebrations down there."
"That's wonderful, Luna!" Celestia said, smiling at her sister. "They actively seek you out now! Maybe you are being accepted by the common ponies, at last?"
"It indeed seems like it." the moon princess replied. "I am happy that they actually seek my presence during this year."
"The other letter... Well, I don't know who 'Trixie Lulamoon' is, but apparently, she wants you two to be judges in a costume competition, which, incidentally would be held in Ponyville... and on Nightmare Night, to boot."
Celestia raised an eyebrow. "This is quite unexpected."
Luna looked at her with puppy-dog eyes. "Tia, pleeeeease come with me! This could be the chance of the century!"
The elder alicorn nuzzled her younger sister.
"Of course I will go, Luna. I'm sure we'll have great fun." She turned to the stallion. "Midnight, I am afraid that-- "
"Oh, don't worry about anything, I already have plans. See, I helped the Orchestra organize a charity concert, and I'm pretty sure Octavia will be playing. I can't wait to hear her! See you later, I've got an appointment with the floor renovators!"
He stormed out of the room, singing to himself. The royal sisters looked at each other, and finally broke out in a refined giggle.
"That boy has limitless energy, I tell you."
"Yes... but I can't stop thinking about this letter! This is my big debut! Somepony seeks my wisdom! My skills to decide!"
"It's just a costume contest, Luna, relax."
"RELAX?! HOW CAN WE RELAX WHEN WE ARE THIS HAPPY?!"
Celestia hid her smile in her teacup.
"At any rate," she thought, "I'm looking forward to this competition."
Just an ordinary day at Sweet Apple Acres. The sun shining, the leaves rustling, a certain mailmare apologising for destroyed property. Big Mac sighed. It was literally of lesser hassle to accept letters by hoof, instead of replacing the mailbox every other day. He took the letter the mailmare delivered, and opened it. Realising the mare was still standing there, he coughed.
"Don't ya, um, have other deliveries ya have to attend to?"
"Oh, I have many!" the mare chirped happily.
"So much for being subtle." the stallion thought. Unfolding the letter, a small sack fell to the ground, resulting in a grin from Ditzy. He still decided to read the letter first.
"Dear Mac,
Since the last time I wrote, I managed to get to Appleloosa, to further spread the magnificence of the Great and Powerful Myself! Strangely enough, when I mentioned I was going to perform, the sheriff became very... well, distrusting, to say the least. After I assured him that I won't be singing, nor dancing, he was much more open-minded, though.
The show itself went on flawlessly; seems like the new tricks I utilize bedazzle even the grumpiest of ponies. Then again, was there ever any doubt that I could do just that?
I've met your cousin, Braeburn. He is a lively one, that's for sure! He agreed to my plan; he's going to come with me to be a part of the costumed group we're going to form. Isn't that just peachy?
Regarding the pack I included: please pass it to Ditzy. It contains something very interesting I found some time ago: instant muffins! Just add water."
Mac looked up, realising the mailmare has been reading over his shoulder. She grinned again, puffing her chest.
"I can identify a muffin from four hundred meters away, you know!"
Big Mac raised an eyebrow.
"That's... nice, Ah guess."
"Nice? Nice?! It is vital, Mac! Every time I deliver a letter to Zecora in the Everfree, I leave the service muffin near the forest's entrance, so I'll find my way back!"
"What if somepony or an animal eats that muffin?" he suggested. Ditzy's expression darkened.
"Then divine retribution will be exacted upon them."
"Oookay..." He returned to reading the letter.
"Sorry for being brief, but we'll meet soon again anyway. We'll be taking the 3 P.M. train
on October 3rd. See you then!
Yours truly:
Trixie Lulamoon"
"...Wait just a dang minute! Today is the 3rd! Ditzy!"
The pegasus hid her hooves behind her back, smiling with a hint of guilt.
"I ... uh ... kinda dropped it a week ago in the office, and only found it today. Sorry!"
"What happened to your 'muffin sense'?" he thought, but not voicing it.
"Don' sweat 'bout it, Ah'll manage. Still, it'll be a tough job, preparin' for their arrival on such a short notice."
"It surely will be!" agreed Ditzy eagerly. Mac looked at her with a stern expression. She looked back quite confused, but his message finally got across. "Oh, I'll be going then, doing the stuff with the letters... and mailboxes, and... Goodbye!"
Even Rainbow Dash would have been satisfied with the speed she left the vicinity of the farms. Mac pondered his situation for a moment. AJ sure likes to keep a grudge, and to be fair, Trixie never apologised personally to her. Let's just hope nothing bad will happen.
"It'll take more than candy to woo me, Ah tell ya. Besides, how d'ya reckon she will be bringin' candy?"
"Oh, we're triyin' tah get our cutie marks in clairvoj... clarevoy... future-seeing today! Sweetie Belle already predicted that Rarity would be mad if we used up all of tha Glitter Dust! An' she did!"
Applejack rolled her eyes. "Why don't ya ever try something... well useful for once? Like Cutie Mark Crusaders Water-the-flowers-ers!"
"There ain't a word like that!"
"What are ya, a dictionary?"
"Train."
Both female Apples looked up, as their brother calmly searched the horizon. Indeed, a train could be seen in the distance.
"See, sis, ya don' hafta wait any longer! They're here!"
"We'll see what happens." she groaned.
The train quickly ate away the remaining distance. With a loud whistle, it came to a halt, the conductor getting off, and opening all it's doors.
"Last station, fillies and gentlecolts! Please, vacate the train, if you will!"
A seemingly endless horde of ponies descended from the cabins, chatting happily, going their separate ways, but most importantly, blocking the way. The Apples snorted in frustration, the passengers simply obstructing their view on the train. All of a sudden, both Applejack and Mac felt a sudden shake, originating from two pair of hooves on their respective backs. Turning around, they saw a pair of troublemakers having difficulty hiding their good mood. Finally, one of them stepped to Applejack, and the other to Mac.
"Good to meet ya, cussin!" Braeburn exclaimed happily, hugging her sister almost too tightly. "Ya wouldn't believe it, but Appleberg's not alone anymore! His family has grown by two: Carrotberg, and Potatoberg!"
"...Braeburn, there is no such thing as a carrot tree. Or a potato tree, for that matter."
The mustard earth pony expressed true shock.
"Then we have been fooled! Curse those no-good Flimflam brothers!"
Applejack groaned. "Seriously? Them again?"
Meanwhile, the hug Trixie gave Big Mac was definitely more awkward, with both parties looking embarassed, until the showmare noticed Applebloom. She immediately shifted her priorities into giving the filly a rub on the head, ruffling her mane in the process.
"Hey kid! Still at it, eh? Getting your cutie mark, I mean."
"Ya got it! But..." she hesitantly began, "It looks like Ah won't get a cutie mark in future-tellin' after all."
Trixie raised an eyebrow. "Divination? Leave that to flukes, belive me, nopony likes to know what the future holds. Wait a second!" she pointed at her neck in an over-the-top fashion. "You are hiding such treats in your mane?" Reaching up, Applebloom felt something caught in one side of her ribbon. Pulling it out, it turned to be a sack of Canterlot Cream Candy. Needless to say, the filly became increasingly agitated upon seeing it.
"Big Mac! Big Mac!" She began spinning around herself, trying to get a good look at her flank. Realising nothing changed, she pouted with intensity.
"All aboard! The train is leaving for Manehattan in five minutes!" the conductor announced. The Apples and Trixie made way for the ponies boarding the other train. Soon, the train whistle sounded, and the locomotive took off, leaving only an oversized crate near them. Trixie turned to Applejack.
"So, uh... Appleback..."
"Applejack." the farmpony corrected, seemingly irritated.
"Well, uh, I'm seriously bad at apologising, so just accept this!"
The showmare pulled out a piece of paper from one of her saddlebags, and levitated it to the orange mare. She began reading it suspiciously.
"Lessee... 'We regret to inform you that our company does not accept gravel dust as a form of payment'—"
Trixie yanked the paper from Applejack with an apologetic smile.
"Sorry, wrong paper." She levitated another one to the now pissed off farmer. Mac realised that if he didn't know her, he would probably facehoof at this point. But between Trixie, Ditzy, and Pinkie? Nothing would faze him anymore. Applejack's expression changed to surprised, forgetting her anger.
"Dear Miss Apple, we would like to arrange a meeting between our company and your farm's representative, to negotiate about exporting some of your produce into Saddle Arabia..." She finally looked up, uncertainity in her eyes. "How's this even...?"
Trixie shifted around nervously.
"Well, you know, I figured that since I made a fool out of you in front of several eager eyewitnesses, I should at least try to find something to... compensate for your troubles. So I talked with Dad, and he put in a good word for you at Equestrian Exports... Mind you, this is a chance; you have to convince them that your apples are worth exporting, but if you do... well, I imagine you can literally swim in the profits. What I'm trying to say is... Sorry."
Applejack scratched her head.
"Ya know, Ah'd have been satisfied with a simple 'pology, but at least this shows that you're sincere. Ah'm afraid Ah'll hafta decline, though; we always sell most of our apples tah Filthy Rich, that's like a tradition tah us Apples."
"A tradition that's gonna change." Big Mac interjected. "If we can strike a deal with these fancy business types, we could make a 20% profit on yearly apple sales."
"Don't bring up your fancy mathemathics to muddy the issue again!" Applejack snorted. The stallion looked bemused.
"AJ, the last time was over three years ago. An' Ah was right."
"Well, what was Ah supposed to think? One pony plus hundreds of apple trees add up to what?"
"Mount Rushmare?" interrupted Trixie. Botth stared at her, and she seemed to shrink in their combined attention. "Sorry, just tried to be part of the conversation. But seriously, Mac's right. If you are intent on making this Filthy character rich, then by any means, go ahead. On the other hoof, I would bet my house that he does not have an ounce of regret when he sells your apples to others twice the price he paid to you!"
"Ah... Ah guess ya are right... We'll juss head home then first, an' make sure yer rooms are ready. C'mon Mac!"
"Oh, sorry, but I'm going to have to borrow him for a minute." the unicorn interjected. Applejack shrugged.
"C'mon then, Braeburn... At least ya can tell me what those no-good Flimflam brothers did this time on the way home."
As soon as the two disappeared behind the train station's corner, the red stallion turned to the showmare.
"Ya don't even have a house, do ya?"
Trixie waved a hoof.
"Details, details... Now, I'm sure you both know that I challenged Twilight Sparkle to a costume contest."
"Yeah!" Applebloom chimed. "Me an' Scootaloo even bet on what ya gonna dress up as! Scoots said that yer gonna totally come as some powahful wizard, but I said that yer gonna be something cool, like a timbahwolf, or something!"
The unicorn let out a small giggle. "That would indeed be cool, I found something much cooler, however."
The filly began to bounce up and down.
"Oooh, what is it? Tell me, tell me!"
Trixie leaned closer, and whispered something in her ear. Applebloom froze, awe overtaking her features.
"Wow..." She suddenly realised something. "Wait a sec! That's not one costume!"
Trixie nodded. "Precisely. Which is why I intended this to be a group effort. So what do you say? Ready for a little themed costume creation this year?"
"Yes! Yes! YES!" Applebloom beamed, resulting in the two adults covering their ears. She happily bounced away, following where her sister and cousin went.
"Well, so much for my eardrums. On the bright side, she will earn her air siren cutie mark any day now. So, Mac... are you in?"
"...Depends. What do ya have in mind?"
Trixie told him.
"That's... Well, there's no way ya can pull that off."
"I brought paint." Trixie exclaimed. Mac recoiled.
"Nuh-uh! No way yer going ta get paint on this stallion, lady!"
The unicorn stared at him with her most intense puppy-dog eyes.
"..." The stallion seemed unimpressed. "Ya know that don't work on me."
"Oh well, worth a shot. But Mac, consider this. I brought materials for your whole family: Applebloom, Braeburn, you, your grandma... and Applejack, too."
Mac's eyes widened.
"Ya even thought of them?"
"Yes." she nodded. "All of my materials are here in this crate."
Big Mac examined tha crate slowly. It seemed to be as large as Trixie.
"... And Ah suppose ya want me to carry all this to Sweet Apple Acres, right?"
"Don't be ridiculous!" Trixie said dismissively. She produced some extremely thick horseshoes. Putting them on, she became as tall as Mac—at least her back did so.
"This way, we can both carry it at the same time!"
Big Mac slowly shook his head, but smiled nonetheless. Maybe this year's Nightmare Night will be interesting, after all.
"Princess Celestia! Princess Luna! So good to see you!"
The regal sister's cart just arrived in Ponyville, causing a slight panic in it's residents: it's not every day you get visited by royalty, after all! Twilight and her friends welcomed them warmly; even though the actual letter came from an obnoxious showmare, they have been meaning to invite them all along. Celebrations always seemed to be full of work for a princess; once in a time they'd deserve some relaxation. The princesses looked at Twilight and her friends a bit confused, before Luna spoke up her doubts.
"Excuse me, Twilight Sparkle, but where are the rest of your friends? I can understand Fluttershy's absence, since she was quite afraid the last time I saw her, but I imagine Rarity would be overflowing with creativity, and Applejack simply seemed to love the festivities."
"Funny you should ask, Princess," Twilight shifted nervously in her purple bear-costume, "We were all wondering if something happened, she is never late."
"Oh, I'm sure she'll come around. Maybe she prepared some apple desserts to sell or present to everypony?" Celestia suggested. Twilight leaned closer to Pinkie, who was standing right beside her, dressed as a... well, whatever it was, it looked unholy to Twilight.
"Quick, " she whispered, "that was your cue. Get as much cake as you can!"
"Right-o!" Pinkie beamed. A moment later, she was gone, leaving two glowing trails of hooves behind, as if the ground itself heated in her wake. Twilight turned back to the Princesses, whose guards were already gone, no doubt seeking out some of the festivities. Still, at least they got the carts out of the way. It would have been screaming 'accident-prone' if they left it---
CRASH!
"Sorry! My bad! I'll uh... I'll just put this wheel back where it was... aaaaand..."
CRACK!
"Huh. Didn't figure the steel spindle could snap. Maybe if I put more pressure on it...?"
Twilight sighed. Only one pony in Ponyville could cause wanton destruction, even when standing perfectly still, and that was Ditzy Doo. She hurried to the chariots, and wrangled the wheel from the mailmare just before she attempted to 'fix' the cart again. With another flick of her horn, she mended the spindle and put back the wheel in a jiffy. She looked angrily at the pegasus.
"Ditzy! This is royal property! Don't you think it's rude to blemish their carriage when they came to visit us, even there are plenty of important matters they have to attend to?"
"Oh no, we're completely free today." Celestia chimed in. "I've made sure I left every important task in capable hooves, and I gave the most annoying ones to Blueblood. Maybe he'll learn some manners when he asks for allowance again."
The unicorn shot a questioning look at Luna, who rolled her eyes.
"Our foalish cousin wished for sustenance enough to buy Manehatten. The most despicable thing is that he only wanted to buy an orange. That stallion has no sense of money, I say."
Celestia giggled. "Let us forget the worries for today, and engage in more... pleasant activities. Has your friend who suggested the costume contest arrived?"
Twilight fiddled with her hair, before answering, and Ditzy took that exact time to take off before she's scolded further. She darted away at a speed which made Rainbow (who was watching things from a cloud) lick her lips, and update her mental 'Ponies-I-want-to-race-with' list. She measured Ditzy about thirteenth—first of course, was Daring Do. Forget the Princesses, it's cooler to race with a legend! Somepony so awesome! Speaking of which, she left, too, to show off her Daring-ninja-zombie-pirate-Doo of the Wonderbolts costume. It'll be a hit with the masses!
Meanwhile, the unicorn finished explaining to Celestia and Luna that she hadn't even met Trixie since she tried to challenge her to a duel in Canterlot (after which it took weeks to get the smell of rotten eggs out of the Canterlot Library's director's dog's fur.) Celestia nodded knowingly.
"I see, my most faithful student. Tell me then, is this non-friend of yours here yet?"
"I... I don't really know. I considered all the possibilities, and came up with three possible situations. One, she never intended to come in the first place, and this is just an elaborate and distasteful prank. Two, she saw my terrific costume, and ran away without even challenging me."
Realising that Twilight finished her speech, Luna inquired about the third option.
"The third option is... that I have absolutely no idea."
Celestia smiled.
"I'm sure it's the second, Twilight. After all, you've made this lovely purple kitten costume!"
"...It's an Ursa Major." Twilight's face was the likeness of a dead pan.
"Nevertheless, it fills me with inspiration! Oh, how I would have loved to dress up this year!" She shot a glare to the indifferent moon princess.
"For the last time, Tia, Yarrmektar, destroyer of worlds, is not a costume that would fit in well with the masses. For heaven's sake, he looks like a narwhal!"
"Oh, hush, Lunny. You intended to come as a bunny. Imagine how much fear that would have caused!" Celestia replied sarcastically. Luna blushed.
"We did not intend to dress up as a mere rabbit! We just thought that maybe something more... friendly would have been more appealing to our citizens."
"I understand, but buffalos? Seriously?"
"They are the most peaceful race in Equestrian lands, who are not ponies." Luna pointed out.
"They also grow to twice the size of a pony. And they have horns."
"Unicorns have horns, too! We have a horn! You have a horn, sister!"
"Are you saying I am a buffalo, then?"
"Yes! No! I mean, you have one horn! They have two!"
"But otherwise, I am the likeness of a buffalo?"
Twilight watched dumbfounded as the elder alicorn teased her sister. She did not dare to interrupt them, after all, this was one of their rare moments of free time spent together. Twilight smiled.
"Anyway, what would a pony with two horns be called? Bicorn?"
"I think Duocorn." a third voice chimed in. They all looked up, and realised that Ditzy came back. Noticing their stares, she hovered closer. "I came back because I forgot something important."
"What is your question, citizen of Ponyville?" Luna asked.
"Hurry up! Ah swear, yer slower than a wiggleplum aimin' ta be a snail!"
"I'm trying, but Mac here is not exactly helpful either!"
"Ah told ya, Ah'm not gonna wear mascara!"
"For the last time, it's facepaint not make-up! It's part of the costume!"
Trixie huffed. She expected complications, but mostly from the Apple family, not Mac himself. Granny Smith was surprisingly cooperative, and dressed her part. The real reason behind this is that the showmare had planned a real hit: dressing up the whole Apple family and herself, and arrive at the same time. However, because of Mac, they were behind schedule.
"Look, it's just needed because your head would be much more noticeable if left red. Bear with me, please."
Big Mac sighed.
"...Do it."
Finally let to do her 'magic', she quicly put the fnishing touches on Mac's costume. Leaning back, she admired her own work.
"I must say, I really outdid myself this time."
"Ah'm juss' afraid it'll make me look like a foal." the stallion grumbled.
"Nonsense! I'm sure mares will be wooed by your manliness back and forth! You'll have to repel the waves of suitors, for there will be many!"
Mac blushed at her exaggeration. Trixie had a way of assuring ponies that had nothing to do with the subject of their concern. Still, maybe this will be fun enough.
"Everypony ready?" Trixie asked, inspecting each and every costume. Satisfied with their appearances, she turned and exclaimed: "Onward, to our Great March!"
"... And that is why we decided to outlaw dipping doughnuts in milk."
"I see. What is your opinion on muffins, Your Majesty?"
"I... Isn't that a 'slang' word for griffons of the Murkblood Clan?" Luna asked hesitantly.
Twilight was impressed. This time not only Luna was not greeted by ponies running for their lives, but somepony actually had a conversation with her! (Other than Twilight herself, of course.) She was proud of Luna, as a mother when their child does something noteworthy, which in itself caused mixed feelings for the unicorn; are you supposed to be proud of your princess? How could you brag with it? "My princess just conquered three nations, yours can't even build an infrastructure!" Maybe this conversation was getting to her. While Ditzy was very cheerful and curious, her curiosity seemed to encompass the weirdest things.
"... Then you bake it about two hours, and they're ready. Here, have a free sample!"
Ditzy produced a small muffin, and gave it to the amazed princess. She smiled brightly, until one of her eyes focused on the muffin itself.
"Oh no!"
She snatched the pastry from the surprised alicorn, and threw it away... right into the royal chariot of Celestia. She ducked behind Twilight, and shouted "Take cover!"
Nothing happened. Ditzy poked out her head from down under.
"Huh. I guess it malfunctioned. It was supposed to—"
BLAM!
"—blow up."
Twilight watched dumbfoundedly as a pile of splinters slowly collapsed into soot, exactly at the same place where the chariots were. Ditzy gave a sheepish smile.
"Sorry! I mixed up my attack muffins with the snack muffins. Happens to everypony, I guess."
Twilight finally found her voice.
"Ditzy! Ponies don't usually make weapons from food!"
"I dunno, have you ever seen Bon Bon's 'Killer Kandiez'? You could bludgeon a pidgeon to death with it."
The unicorn was incredibly nervous, but was surprised to see Luna with a smug expression, instead of being angry. The alicorn called out to her sister.
"Oh, Tiaaa... Seems like we'll take the scenic route back."
Celestia pouted.
"That is not necessary. I am fit as a pony can be!"
"I doubt you will stay that way, sister, based on the looks you gave to that cake."
Celestia rolled her eyes, but then turned to Pinkie quickly. She would wait no longer for no mare, even if they were president of the United Stables.
"Say, Pinkie Pie, could you please cut a slice from that cake for me?"
"Of course, Princess!" Pinkie beamed. Just as she was about to split the cake, a terrible roar of lightning echoed through Ponyville. The sky itself seemed to darken, and an ominous fog rose from the east. The ponies looked at each other nervously, unsure of what to make of the situation. Celestia sighed, and motioned to Pinkie to stop proceeding with the cake-cutting. Together with her sister, she stepped forward.
"Citizens of Ponyville! There is naught to fear, we—"
An incredibly nasty-sounding thunder interrupted the sun princess, while drawing attention to a hill overlooking Ponyville. A mare dressed up as a flower pot started to scream.
"The horror! THE HORROR!"
Out of nowhere, Rainbow Dash appeared, slowly descending beside Twilight.
"What the hay is that?"
A slow moving fog could have been seen. It was a deep, dark purple colour, sweeping through the road with a leisurely pace. Whereever it touched the ground, it... well, it did nothing, but it indeed was ominous. When the fog reached the town square, the gathered crowd could see clearly that it was several ponies large; both horizontally and vertically. Luna stepped forward.
"Show thyself!"
A raspy voice gave a disturbing chuckle from the inside.
"Ah will... If ya give me back mah rusty horseshoe!"
Rainbow's face paled. No, not that!
The fog began to swirl, and it lifted off so suddenly, they didn't even notice the exact moment it dispersed. In it's wake, several tall, dark figures stood, hooded and cloaked. One of them towered above the others, and another one was really small. They just stood menacingly in the town square, silent as stone, until one of them stepped forward. The figure indicated a mare, further confirmed when she started speaking. She had an awfully familiar voice.
"Citizens of Ponyville! I have came unto this world once again; to revel in the night that so few hold in high contempt! Prepare to kiss your precious sun goodbye... for the night shall last FOREVER!"
A lightning flashed, as if to further the tension. The mare's head lit up, and her cloak and hood crumbled into dust; so did her companions' covers. Ponyville was greeted by a sight that even shook the princesses: before their very eyes, in her metal crown, Nightmare Moon stood, smiling triumphantly. The darkness cleared up, revealing the true face of her companions. Twilight couldn't believe her eyes. Not only the wicked Mare in the Moon, but a tall, bulky creature with a horse's lower body, and an upper body with arms, and a relatively small head. The unicorn recognized Tirek, the Necromancer, as he let out a blood-curdling roar. Standing to the right of Nightmare Moon, the familiar figure of the changeling queen stood, moonlight passing through the holes in her legs. By her side, a small, but very vicious-looking little changeling hissed, it's muzzle covered by a piece of cloth. Even further right, an old, seemingly one-eyed old pony mumbled and grumbled, who would not have been that fearful, if she hadn't been wearing dusty old rags, and didn't have sharp red eye colour, which seemed to stare into your very soul. Standing as last in the line, a unicorn stallion pawed the ground impatiently, shadow emanating from his eyes. He had razor-sharp fangs, and was dressed royally; what else could a pony expect from a king of the Crystal Empire?
Nightmare Moon stepped forward, her mane flickering under the bright moonlight.
"It is of utmost joy for me to be here again... And to furthen that joy, I shan't waste any time declaring my intentions! I declare this cake to be annexed by the New Moonarchy!"
Her horn lit up, and she levitated the table with the cake in front of her, snatching a slice from it. She held it in her grip, as if taunting Celestia. Said alicorn was furious. Not only she threatened her subjects, destroyed a celebration and took away precious time to bond with her sister, this intruder had the galls to take the cake that was made specifically for the princess herself! She opened her mouth to speak.
"You' dare—MMMMPH!"
She was rudely interrupted when Nightmare Moon stuffed the cake in her mouth with a quick swing. The alicorn instinctively bit down on the pastry, and became distracted enough by it's magnificent taste that she allowed the wicked mare to pass by her, and come up to Twilight. The black alicorn smiled at the terrified unicorn, and wore a distinctively smug expression on her face.
"Well, well, Twilight Sparkle. We meet again. Only this time... the winner will be me!"
She lit up her horn, and took off her helmet, revealing that the swirling mane around her head was in fact connected to the helmet itself, her natural mane flowing out from under it in a beautiful—if a bit flat—silvery white river. Twilight gasped.
"You...!"
"And that is" Trixie stated calmly, "how you make a good entrance."
"No, princess, Trixie just really likes to show off. I doubt she would try to cause eternal darkness, though."
Luna examined her impersonator carefully.
"I am keeping an eye on you!" she warned her finally.
"Don't keep an eye on me! Keep it in it's socket! I'm not an eye-table that you can keep eyes on!" Trixie retorted. The princess was taken aback by her attitude, but the playful smile the showmare wore made her decide she just didn't have the necessary amount of humour.
All of them were situated in the great hall; the same great hall that saw the return of Nightmare Moon. It is just as fitting, that it would see the return of Lulamoon. Long, sturdy tables were set up, with so much food stacked on them it would make their mouths water. Celestia was situated on the seat of honour at the largest table; Luna, however, opted to sit between Twilight & co. and the Apple family (including Trixie). To be specific: to her left, Twilight sat; to her right, Trixie. Said unicorn was looking absent-mindedly at a cupcake she only took a bite of.
"You know, this makes me remember that time when grandma baked me cookies. When I asked her how they are made, she said they are filled with love." She shook her head. "I still don't know whether she said it because that's the truth, or because mine weren't so good. That's it, I'm going to capture a changeling, and put those pastries to the test!"
Twilight rolled her eyes, as did most of her friends, except Rarity. She seemed to be horrified of the idea of love seeping into inanimate objects. Perhaps she scrapped one too many designs for her clothes to pass the test.
Putting down her cupcake, Trixie rose to speak. All eyes at the table looked at her.
"Well, as you might or might not have heard from Mac—which I doubt, by the way, 'cause I saw rocks more talkative sometimes—that we've met a good three months ago. Long story short, we ended up in a chore war, which lasted quite long. But one thing was for certain—I realised how much bored I was with my life; and how much of an insufferable wompknot I was. I'd like to apologise for rubbing stuff in your faces that wasn't chocolate cake." she said, nodding at the sun princess, who still had some crumbs on her muzzle; everypony was too polite to let her know, and Luna didn't notice. Celestia rose a little from her seat, and looked kindly at the present ponies. She coughed softly, catching the attention of those seated at other tables.
"My dearest subjects, I acknowledge the protests about this mare. It is of great importance, however, that even though besmirched with great prejudice throughout these unfortuitous circumstances, she seems genuinely apologetic. Forgiveness should not be scarce, for we are not without flaws. I hereby pardon Trixie Lulamoon, and hope that she can become a good friend to many of you!"
Luna leaned closer to Trixie.
"You know, Trixie Lulamoon," she whispered, "my sister only speaks like this because she knows less understand it this way. And if the majority does not understand, they will nod to everything they say. I believe she got the great '97 tax reforms underway with this method."
Across the room, faces warmed up, and an occassional cheer could be heard. The showmare noticed that most of the ponies stopped glaring. Well, to be precise, one pegasus was glaring at her, but with a look of deep concentration.
"So, Trixie, I actually have a question for you."
"Shoot."
The pegasus pretended to raise something heavy.
"Pow! Seriously though, what does wompknot mean?"
"Well, it is the same as wabblesnarch."
"Wabble-what?"
"I made it up on the spot. As far as I'm concerned, it doesn't exist."
Twilight looked around their table. Rainbow and Trixie were now conversing about the proper way to invent words, Pinkie joining them with the suggestion 'wafflerrific", to indicate something is as good as a waffle. Mac wandered off somewhere. Granny Smith seemed to have nodded off. Applejack was distracted by the Cutie Mark Crusaders, who were discussing ways to scare the living daylights out of Diamond Tiara. Rarity was having a pleasant chat with Celestia about the nobles, and Fluttershy was explaining something intently to Braeburn. Wait, what?
The timid mare was indeed talking to a pony; a pony who was dressed as King Sombra, nonetheless, about... well, sewing apparently. The stallion raised a part of his 'ermine' cloak, pointing out something Twilight didn't quite understand. Well, as long as Fluttershy is not too scared to talk to him, why not? Suddenly, Rarity spoke up.
"Darling, I must know what fabric you used for the mane part of your costume."
"Oh, it's Ursa fur." Trixie stated nonchalantly. Everypony froze up at the table, even the Crusaders, who advanced to the point in their plan where they dangle D.T. out the clock tower in Canterlot.
"Excuse me, but that seems a tiny bit... well, how should I say..."
"Completely unbelieveable?" Trixie finished. "It is true, though. When Mac comes back, I'll tell you the story."
Mac was getting some fresh air. Sure, celebrations are nice 'n all, but everypony was too busy with somepony else to actually chat with him. Well, he could understand that her family wished to talk to other ponies, but neither AJ's friends, nor the princesses seemed to have considered the idea of simply having a conversation with him. He groaned as a piece of hair irritated his nose; this is just getting better and better.
"Uh, Big Mac?" a voice suddenly called out. He turned, only to see a mint-colored unicorn smile at him shyly.
"Howdy..." What was her name again? "Lyra?" he risked. The mare grinned.
"Right on the nail's head, as my father would say. So... I really like your costume. Centaur Tirek, huh? Half horse, half... human." She emphasised the last part intently.
Mac scratched his chin.
"Thanks fer' the compliment, but what is a human?" If Lyra could have brightened up more, it could only have been possible if she was set on fire.
"That's a mythical beast, thought to have been extinct long ago! It's—" She suddenly stopped, smiling slyly at the stallion. "Ohohoho! No, I'm not going to talk about my hobbies before first date."
"F-first date?" Mac asked nervously.
"Yep! How about next Tuesday? From two o'clock, at the Ponyville Park?"
"Uh, um... sounds good?"
"Great! See you on Tuesday! I'm looking forward to it, but I gotta go now. I promised the kids some scary stories, and I intend to keep it! Bye!"
Fluttershy would have been jealous (after apologising twice for it) of the low voice he produced in reply. He watched as she practically bounced off, albeit less flashy than Pinkie. He heard a polite cough.
"Am I interrupting?"
He turned and noticed a familiar white-maned, normally blue, but now black unicorn. He ran up to her, and shook her vigorously.
"What tah do? She invited me on a date! A date! Ah never been to a date that wasn't arranged by some crazy family membah'! What should Ah wear? What should Ah say? How fancy should Ah be?!"
Mac let go, his cheeks reddening to unusual heights.
"Sorry, Ah just... kinda freaked out."
"Geez, Mac relax! It's a date! Not a wedding! You go there, spend some time with her, and that's it! No strings attached! It's not like you'll have to ask for her hoof in marriage just because she spent a day with you! Or..." she flashed a devious grin. "Are you interested in her?"
Mac went redder than a bleeding tomato in lava.
"No! Yes! No! Maybe! Ah mean..." he paused, collecting himself. "Ah don't know. Ah've met her a few times, but Ah don't really know her."
"Well, that's kinda what dates are for. You spend time together, try to enjoy it, and learn more about each other! Simple!"
"But Ah ain't something fancy! What if she laughs at my villageness? Ah heard she's from Canterlot!"
"Okay, first, 'villageness' is not a word. Second, if she was an uptight Canterlot snob, she wouldn't have asked you out. Third, and most important, you should always be yourself. If you can't impress her with who you are, it'd never work out, believe me. So, are you ready to come inside? The others are waiting for you, so I can start explaining how I placed my hooves on Ursa fur."
Mac sighed.
"Okay, Ah'll think about it la—URSA FUR?!"
Trixie giggled.
"C'mon, Romeo, you'll understand everything if I finally explain it."
Arriving back, Trixie instantly noticed the 'subtle' change in the seating. Where Mac sat, Celestia herself towered regally, while munching slices of cake in a speed and manner that was anything but regal. The showmare's place has been taken by Ditzy, who was chatting with princess Luna. Trixie leaned closer curiously to hear what the grey pegasus had to say.
"So as my mother used to say: 'When life gives you lemons, your esteemed number of sour fruits just went up.'" She motioned a hoof towards the sky. "Speaking of which, I never really liked lemons. Nasty little flammable things."
Twilight noticed the two of them returning, and waved to Trixie.
"Hey! Are you ready to tell your story? Princess Celestia even freed up her place for you to be at the center."
Trixie nodded, and stepped to the seat of honor. Suddenly, the chatter got a lot quieter, most ponies affixing their gazes on her.
"Well, well, well. This won't do." she thought.
"So, fillies and gentlecolts, let me present you the tale of how I, the Great and Often Misunderstood Trixie, acquired Ursa fur. I braved the filthy stench of the great cave, with only my newly-forged dragonscale scissors in tow—"
"Oh. My mistake. About the scissor: I was standing before the most hideous dragon I've ever seen, with only the backpack I've got from the Diamond Dogs—"
"DIAMOND DOGS?!" This time, many more shouted, even those staying to themselves in the farthest corner. The showmare looked around. With the two outbursts, she has managed to gain the undivided attention of the whole hall. She smiled inwardly.
"Perfect" She took a deep breath.
"Forgive me, o citizens of Ponyville. I merely wished to skip the parts that were not relevant. Seem like that for your perfect understanding, I'll have to indulge some details before that incident. It all started in the quiet smithing town of Anvilmare..."
...Where an unhappy smith was staring at the azure mare in front of her. Seems like it was not enough of a lesson last time, when she was chased out from town in a glorious shower of anvils and horseshoes; this obnoxious loudmouth came back for more. Well, Metal Bend was never one to stop a good lynching, so she merely eyed the intruder with just a hint of hostility.
"Welcome to Anvilmare," she started in monotone, "town of smiths, anvils, and five o' clock brawls. What can I do for you, insert customer's gender here?"
The showmare simply smiled at her.
"I'd hold a piece of paper while saying that. Completes the act, y'know."
Thrown out of her stoic attitude, Bend growled, and affixed her gaze on the loudmouth.
"What in blazes did you came back for, anyway? I thought we made ourselves clear enough last time."
"Well, yes." Trixie agreed. "That horseshoe you made? I won a throwing competition with it. Anyway, I figured if I need an expert smith for an unusual job, I'd better ask the pros."
"What 'unusual job'?" Metal Bend asked, curious despite the fact that she felt a little bitter about the unicorn.
"I need a blade that can cut Ursa fur."
The earth pony laughed dryly.
"Is that it? So you can brag that you defurred an Ursa? Go away."
"No, no. You don't understand. I read that Ursa fur is incredibly thick. Normal blades cannot even begin to scratch it. We need something... strong enough to cut steel."
"Strong enough to cut steel..." Metal Bend mused, quickly stopping when realising whom it was that was asking a favour from her. "Wait just a darn moment! Why should I help you at all? The last time you were here—"
"I sincerely apologise for any inconvinience I caused to anypony while I was here." Trixie interrupted.
"I smelled like mayonnaise for two weeks after your little stunt." she answered begrudgingly. The showmare sighed.
"Look, if it makes you feel better, just smear some mayo on me, or ketchup, or mustard, or broccoli, or whatever."
"Why broccoli?"
"I like broccoli. Look, I'm not asking this for free. Tell me how much is this going to cost."
Metal Bend paused. There was a bottle of lamp oil in the back of the—no, no, stay focused. She looked indifferently at the azure unicorn.
"Let's just assume I forgive you. Even so, I can't help you."
"Why? I really need it!"
"No matter how much you need it, I can't help you. To produce a blade that cuts through steel... you'd need enchanted items, which we don't craft here. Alternatively, there are some very rare materials that could be used... but I don't think you can get your hoof on them in a lifetime."
"What rare materials are we talking about?" she insisted.
"Dragonscale. If I got my hoof on some... mixed with some of my special alloy, I could make wonders! Of course, there is no chance you'll get dragonscale, so I think you should—"
"Where can I find a dragon?" Trixie said, interrupting her again.
"Well, there is one in the nearby mountain..." She stopped, realising the implications. "Wait a second... You're not seriously thinking of confronting it?!"
"I need dragonscale, and there is a dragon located conveniently nearby. Do the math."
"It is official: you are retarded. Have you lost your mind? If you charge into it's cave demanding a number of it's scales, how do you think it will react?"
"I'll improvise. However, if I actually bring you some, you'll have to shape it into what I need."
Metal Bend waved a hoof dismissively.
"Sure, whatever. You go hunting for dragons, and I'll inform your next of kin. Anything you want me to add to your necrologue?"
"All right, let's see. I only have to con a dragon out of it's scales, right? No biggie. Except for the whole 'being roughly thirty times bigger' thing. Oh well. Since my fur is so pretty, I will at least make a decent rug before the hearth."
She had advanced far away from Anvilmare already, despite the fact that she only arrived there an hour earlier, without the chance of refreshing herself. The lush green of the countryside has slowly changed in favour of exhausted surface mines, rocky havens inbetween patches of dirt and mud, and an old road that used to stretch from the old mines to the town itself. The terrain was hostile, however; any attemt at deep mining was ultimately doomed to fail: pony technology and magic combined wasn't enough to keep the shafts safe enough for the miners—so they turned away from it, to seek different sources of metal from all over the country. Trixie found the stillness and the eerie silence of the whole area a tad unsettling. Even her thoughts drifted away from her predicatement, towards the possible horrors that could lurk in these desolate territories—stray manticores, basilisks, or even... fanboys. She shuddered. Suddenly, the dragon seemed a lot more inviting.
"Come on Trixie," she spoke out loud, if only to reassure herself. "there is nothing here, so just walk towards the dragon and nothing wiiiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
The ground she stepped on suddenly collapsed under her weight, causing her to fall down a little larger than pony-sized shaft leading deep into the ground. After a hefty fall, she was fortunate enough to fall into a deep underground lake, emerging wet, but otherwise unscatched. She checked her surroundings, and registered that against all odds, she is unhurt.
"Hah! Take that, gravity! Because Trixieee~ she's greeeat~ and powerf-OUCH!"
Her improvised song was rudely interrupted by a falling rock hitting her square in the forehead, causing her to get confused about quite a lot of things, including the place she was, the number of hooves she had, and the square root of Pi. Unbeknownst to her, creatures surrounded her from every direction. She paid them no attention, because of the splitting headache and the existential uncertainity she experienced. One of the things spoke.
"What pony doing here? Is off-limits for ponies!"
Trixie struggled to her hooves, barely registering it's words, and even those she actually heard, she misunderstood the most ridiculous ways possible.
"N-no I wish not visit your luxury yacht called 'Mangrove'... Did somepony turn off the lights and on the stars? Whooo!"
The creatures watched in amusement as the azure unicorn wiggled with wide steps, often coming close to the point of tipping over, but ultimately retaining her balance. After a short while, the fog inside her head started to clear up, giving her a sharp insight on things.
"Oh my nondescript deity! Dragons don't have hearths! I am doomed!"
"Great." a new voice spoke up. "Idiot pony comes to annoy us."
"I'll let you know that I'm not a pony, thank you very much! Wait, I meant I'm not an idiot! Oh, hay..."
Words started making sense again, and the world has stopped spinning. When she looked around, she saw several Diamond Dogs surrounding her, although their stance was annoyed, rather than hostile. She cleared her throat.
"Ahhahaha... Sorry for 'dropping' in without notice."
One of the dogs groaned.
"Oh noes! Not just any pony, but a pun-y! Boss, let's just throw her out!"
"Not so fast." The third speaker, a tall, grey Diamond Dog with a tasteless cream vest, fixated Trixie with a calculated stare. "Pony comes, crumbles in ceiling. Pony not goes before she make amends."
Trixie sighed.
"Look, buddy—"
"My name is Butch. Buddy stand there, pony." he interrupted, pointing to a burly Diamond Dog with rather... dull fangs.
"T'aint fair, Butch! Ya introduce yaself, and we just called Diamond Dog One and Two?" a fourth one barked. Butch rolled his eyes.
"Fine! That in black vest in back called Pluto, one behind you is Scratch, and finally, one who talk too much is Claudius."
"Howdy, pony?" the fouth dog waved. Trixie snapped out of her fantasies about managing a Diamond Dog stand-up comedy show. She waved back, albeit a bit unsure.
"Uh, hi, I guess."
"SO." Butch started again, putting emphasis on his words. "Pony damage our shaft. Pony wil give us come-pen-sate-ion." Trixie raised an eyebrow.
"Strange hearing a Diamond Dog use that word."
Butch puffed his chest with pride.
"Is educated." he explained. Trixie started circling around in the cave.
"I am afraid, however, that I must decline the reimbursement of your possessions. You see, the quantum-fluctuations within the degressive tectonic quadrants override the degenerated mysoscopic features of thermonuclear immunity of cathartic ergonometrics. Therefore, I am in no possible way can be accounted for breaking through your roof." She shot a smile at the confused dog. "But I'm sure an educated Diamond Dog as you could already see that."
"Uh... Yes! I was just testing pony! Well done!"
The other Diamond Dogs watched their cunning and wise leader in awe. The showmare slowly edged towards what she thought to be the exit... until she tripped on something. Arriving face-first on the floor, she briefly wondered if they ever clean up the place. She angrily rose to her hooves, picking the offending object up with her magic...
"Pony all right? Sorry for useless metal lying there, we has to much of the stuff."
... A dazzling chunk of silver, shining in it's untarnished beauty. She cleared her eyes, but no, the silver still levitated there gently, and it was still silver! An idea formed in her head.
"Say... How much metal do you dig out?"
One of the digdogs looked at her with confusion.
"Why pony interested in useless metal? That can't be used for anything, unlike iron, and it's not precious, like gemstone."
"Could you still answer me, please?"
"We mine much of gleaming grey metal, can barely store it. We also mine iron, which useful, but it also take up too much room. We get gems rarely, even though they so shiny and beautiful..."
Trixie turned to them with a smug look.
"Say... are you interested in getting a moderate amount of gemstones?"
Butch waved his claw dismissively.
"Do worm live underground?"
"Perfect. You see, I think we can work out an arrangement here..."
"...And maybe something red. The late pony was blue, you see, so it'd complement her colour well."
"I see. Still, who's going to be the one presenting a speech at the funeral?"
"Well, I'm going to do one, along the lines of 'brave and stupid', and Smelting Heat has already called in seconds with 'good riddance'." Metal Bend explained.
"Still, how do you know she'll die? Maybe there is something about her..."
"Look, Wood, you're a good guy, but believe me, either that mare comes back with her tail between her legs, or she doesn't come back at all. There is no other possibility."
"Don't kill me off, please." a new voice joined. Yep, this was Trixie. Metal Bend turned to give her a piece of her mind, but stopped halfway when she saw a rather tall Diamond Dog occupy most of the door to the town's sole carpenter.
"Wha—huh? Whuhe-eeeugh?" she stated wistfully.
"The wisdom in your words is truly overwhelming. My business associate would like to have a little chat with you." Trixie said nonchalantly, while pointing at Butch. The Diamond Dog gave a toothy grin to the metalsmith, who only saw so much teeth in one place when she visited a kickboxing arena when they cleaned it up.
"Euuuuu... rrrgnph?" she nodded carefully. Butch took that as green lights, and put a claw over her shoulder, while pulling her away from the other two. Trixie turned to the amused carpenter.
"Greetings, good sir! I am Trixie Lulamoon, the one and only!"
The stallion slowly scratched his chin.
"Given the current state of affairs, I believe that is a good thing." He extended a hoof towards the showmare. "Name's Wood Carver. I'm the carpenter 'round here."
"Yes, you really can buy anything if you got enough bits." Bend confirmed from the background, sounding rather annoyed. Trixie smiled at the stallion.
"Say, do you know a jewelsmith around here? Preferably one with experience."
"Lessee... There is Platinum Poker, but he's a tad bit lazy, and probably wouldn't make anything you ask him in three weeks. There's Lucky Charm, but she's mostly crafting jewels for high-class money-pushers, so I doubt she'd lower her oh-so-mighty self to you. If you want good work done fast, you'd want to see Cast Silver... He's a bit grumpy, though."
"You have HOW MUCH?" asked the metalsmith with an increasingly hysterical voice. The showmare hid a smile.
"I think there is bound to be an agreement between these two."
Five tons of gold, silver and iron. FIVE. TONS. OF. DIFFERENT. METALS. Metal Bend trembled at the thought of having ample supplies for ridiculously low prices. The Diamond Dog thought himself a smart haggler, but the highest price he asked was about half the cost of bringing in metal from anywhere else. She walked in a daze, but her subconscious guided her well, right towards the house of Cast Silver. Trixie was trotting right beside her, humming a silly note. Metal Bend was carrying a large chunk of silver; how Trixie managed to convince her to carry it to Cast's home was not even clear to her. Still, metal at low prices, can't say a wrong word 'bout that.
Cast Silver's hose was on the far end of the village, so they had to cross the main square to reach it. Many smiths did a double-take when they saw Metal Bend, the Metal Bend, five-time winner of the annual hoof-wrestling contest, four times winner of the brick-bucking championship, honorary member of the 'No Mares Allowed, Ever' bowling club, obediently carry somepony's stuff around. Zany Vision, the old caretaker of the local inn, has closed up shop due to the world apparently going crazy. A brave stallion stepped forward.
"Uh, hey, Metal, where are you going?" he asked boldly, risking that he actually got an answer. The earth pony mare didn't acknowledge him, staring in front of herself, looking out of it. The azure mare in her company proved to be more sociable.
"Hi Mr. Somepony! Kind Metal Bend will take me to see Cast Silver."
The stallion hoped he'd misheard. The last thing this town needed was those two meeting again. Last time they bumped into each other, the town had to build a new grain silo. They were polar opposites, like iron and... not-iron. The stallion hurried home to take shelter from the ongoing apocalypse.
Meanwhile, the two mares finally reached a small, but easily recognisable house. The attic was full of shiny, sparkling, glossy... in one word, magnificent jewellery. Every accessory imaginable was present, from hoofrings to tiaras, present in silver, gold, and platinum. Even more noticeable was the lack of any type of security. Trixie took the chance to voice this. Metal Bend laughed dryly.
"Might I divert your attention to the left of the toolshed?"
Trixie obediently checked said location, and saw a crude wooden fence, thrown together for the sole purpose of nailing things on it. And oh boy, were there things nailed on it! Some sort of grey substance, in the shape of pony's faces, was all that could be seen all over said fence.
"What exactly is that?" Trixie asked.
"Whenever somepony tried to rob him, he would beat 'em up, then push their faces into that weird stuff, and put those icky mask-thingies out for everypony to see." She sighed absent-mindedly. "He's got style, you've got to admit. I mean..." she corrected herself, regaining her composure. "He's arrogant as can be. I'll wait here for your inevitable refusal."
Trixie smirked, but nodded to her nevertheless as she entered the house. Once inside, she had to squint her eyes, because the room was dimly lit. It was also devoid of any terrifying stallions.
"Hello?" she risked.
"Comin', comin' to hell with your naptime-interrupting kind."
Even though the stallion probably meant to whisper that last part, his voice simply boomed with such intensity thet it could probably be heard half a mile away. Seconds later, a gruffy, slightly yawning stallion entered from the back door. He was blue, with brown mane, and an amulet cutie mark. What was unusual about him, though, was the fact that he was a pegasus. Trixie raised an eyebrow. The stallion did not fail to notice this.
"Let me guess." he said, rolling his eyes. "You want to know why in Equestria would a pegasus take up smithing, right?"
"No." she answered, smiling. "The fact that you are a pegasus and still manage to get a decent living in a smithing town is proof enough of your skill. Which comes in handy, as I need something done real fast."
"What'd it be?"
Trixie told him. The stallion whistled.
"You got materials for that, missy? I sure don't."
"Oh, I've got materials. I'll even throw in some charming company! If you only step out with me for a moment..."
The stallion nodded, and they both stepped out, where a bored Metal Bend was kicking rocks, the silver still attached to her back. She noticed the stallion, and glared at him.
"Cast Silver."
The stallion returned her glare.
"Metal Bend."
Tension could be felt in the air. Growing, strengthening, waiting to erupt—
"Oh, get a room, you two!" an annoyed voice said, interrupting their sacred showdown. Blinking, they both stared at the offender, who was now levitating the silver down to the earth.
"So can you do it, or not?"
The professional overtook Cast Silver, and he examined the ore. Even though it was raw, it was also very pure; little to none refining would be needed to put it to use. This was fine material to work with.
"I think so. It'll probably take two days."
"I need it by tomorrow."
The stallion laughed dryly.
"I don't have that many hooves."
Trixie pointed to Metal Bend.
"Then use hers. She still owes me one."
"What?! NO!" exclaimed the two smiths at the same time. They immediately turned towards each other, huffing.
"Team up with a fancy jewelmaker?" Metal Bend sneered.
"Have my work screwed up by an amateur?" Cast Silver groaned. Trixie slapped her face with a hoof.
"My apologies. Let me amend my statement: you should go and make out behind the forge, and then, after the sexual tension is relieved, you can go make my order. Sounds good?" she asked, glaring at the two dumbfounded smiths. "Good!" she huffed. "Now, you get to it, and I'll go book a room at the inn or something. So long!" She turned back to the path they came from, huffing and puffing all along the way. "Seriously, like a couple wed for fifty years! How can somepony be so dense?"
The two ponies hesitantly checked each other out. The fact that they never considered any possible romantical interractions between them didn't even occur to Trixie.
"Well, he is a strong, handsome and skilled stallion." Metal Bend thought.
"Well, she's got a cute flank." Cast Silver thought.
"So, uh you wanna go do the thing with the forge and the pliers?" Cast Silver asked.
"Um, sure." Metal Bend replied.
They both retreated into the workshop, uncharacteristically aware of the awkward situation. This is going to be a loooong night...
"Wait, wait, wait. You talked a Diamond Dog into a trade agreement?!"
"Well, more like opening their eyes to the obvious, really. I mean, seriously, how dumb they were to not consider a smithing town next to them as a potential buyer for all their metal?"
All eyes were upon Trixie, who found this very much to her liking. Though many refused to believe her claims, their undivided attention still spoke lengths about them. As Trixie was about to elaborate further, another voice stepped in to defend her, surprisingly.
"Really, Rainbow, darling, just think about it. Last time these brutish dogs were defeated by the mere sight of a distressed lady!"
"You mean, your whining." Rainbow mumbled. Rarity paid her no mind. She leaned closer conspiratorily to the showmare.
"Now, I believe you mentioned a dashing jewelsmith?"
Applejack rolled her eyes at Rarity's unmasked interest in the smallest bits of gossip.
"Well, he was more like bashing than dashing, and noses rather than ladies' hearts, but yeah, I mentioned a jewelsmith." She gave them a pained expression. "I swear, they technically were meant fo each other, looking at their personalities and whatnot." She inhaled deeply. "Still, the very next morning..."
Trixie groaned as the sunlight pierced her eyes. Her rest was relatively uninterrupted, not counting the time some ponies started shouting 'Deeper, deeper!' and 'It's all coming out!'. She wished they'd stopped unclogging the toilets in the middle of the night. Yawning, she donned her trademark cape and hat, making her way downstairs. To her surprise, more townsponies were mingling in the reception hall than yesterday. She waved at them with a smile.
"Greetings, citizens of Anvilmare! Sorry I can't entertain you any longer, but I've got a dragon to visit."
Her claims were met with laughter, but she continued smiling nevertheless. Well, right until a vigorous tackle, which promptly gave the air in her lungs a quickened eviction notice.
"Pony!" a voice cried happily.
"If you don't stop squeezing, I'll be a pancake, not a pony!"
"Sorry, sorry. Is very happy." her assailant apologised, putting her down. Trixie turned around to face him, and surprisedly saw the leader of the Diamond Dogs smiling at her.
"So, what brings you here?" she asked him.
"Oh, we done packing first batch of iron. About fifty tons, all paid for." Butch explained. The silence that followed spoke books.
"I think I just had a metalgasm." a weak voice in the back groaned. Trixie paid him no mind.
"Well, good luck with that. I've got an appointment with Silver and Bend. So long!"
She trotted out of the inn happily, leaving a few bits on the counter. One of the present stallions suddenly perked up.
"Waaaait... she said Silver? As in 'Cast Silver'?"
"Yeah, she did. And?"
"She also said 'Bend'" the stallion continued with dread. "As in..."
"Metal Bend!" the other finished with dread. "Oh, Celestia, why? I just rebuilt my fence!"
"Oh, hay, last time they ran into each other, poor Iron Hoof breathed splinters for a week!"
"You call that something? I heard Ace Face got bucked so hard that one of his front legs became a hind leg!"
"Oh yeah? Well, Compound Fracture visited the place they were fighting at, and one week later he fell into the well!"
Butch stared dumbfoundedly at the terrified blabbing smiths.
Trixie sneaked into the smithy behind Cast Silver's house. Stepping inside, she immediately noticed two things. One, the complete lack of apocalyptic destruction predicted by the townsfolk. Two, both smiths were sleeping soundly, albeit at different locations. Metal Bend was lying upside-down on a small porch, her head resting on the ground, while her body was still on the piece of shoggy furniture, covered by a rather large blanket. Cast Silver, on the other hoof, was slumped upon the anvil, leaning on it as if it was some kind of pillow. The showmare smiled upon the sight of the two most dreaded citizens of Anvilmare sleeping like little lambs. Her eyes caught sight of what she came for: the finished commission. Running a hoof along it, she admired the fine craftponyship, the intricate patterns and figures welded into the silver. This was exactly what she wanted.
Reaching deep into her hat—actually, reaching deeper than it's size would suggest—she pulled out a bag of bits. She was about to levitate it to the sleeping jewelsmith, but was startled by Bend, as she fell down to the floor with a soft thump. Curiously, she didn't wake up.
A cheeky smile spread on the unicorn's lips. She put down the money, and levitated Cast Silver instead, putting him down right beside the sleping earth pony mare. On a whim, she levitated Bend's blanket over them, then placed the bag of coins between the sleeping smiths.
She took another look at the silver object. It was just a bit too large to lug around effortlessly. Fortunately, she was quite profound in size-changing spells. (She lived in a cramped trailer, after all. There aren't many things that fit in one without a little bit of cheating.) The showmare lit up her horn, and the object shrunk to a manageable size. Satisfied with the results, she covered the completed accessory in a nearby sheet, then levitated it on her back. It had quite the weight, but she could handle it. After all, a lifestyle of wandering the countryside with a carriage tends to leave you with fairly well developed muscles, even if you're a unicorn.
She shot a last glance at the tranquil scene, giggling inwardly at her own prank. Noticing something on the ground, she levitated it to her eyes for further inspection. Anypony else would have considered this particular item junk. Well, maybe not Twilight Sparkle, but it's kind of cheating with how many books she read about magic. Seriously, she could probably cause cataclysmic earthquakes with a spoon. Still, this will come in handy later. She pocketed the item, and let her thoughts wander back to the couple laid out on the floor in front of her.
"They'll either act like schoolfillies when they wake up," she thought, "or cut a swathe of death and destruction to gain revenge upon me, even if the fires of Tartarus will rain upon this very village. Oh well, worth it anyway."
She began whistling as she once again set her way towards the mountain, and the dragon residing up high on it.
The trek upwards was mostly uneventful, apart from a few narrow ledges here and there. At least no tunnels collapsed underneath her this time.
The dragon's cave was located on the actual peak of the mountain, a small plateau stretching in front of the entrance. Trixie briefly pondered the reason why dragons perched atop mountains with access to their cave. If it was for her, she'd search for a cave that actually had no paths leading up to it, because, you know, she'd fly up to it, like any sensible dragon would. That would at least keep earthbound creatures away from the hoard. Not that she'd like to complain or anything.
She steeled her resolve, and entered the cave. After a few steps, it became pitch dark, but after a few more steps, the darkness cleared up, being replaced with the soft glow of light reflecting from the large piles of treasure. Unsurprisingly enough, the dragon was nesting atop the largest of them, sleeping soundly. Then again, a two-hundred feet long dragon probably doesn't need to fear from simple intruders.
"Well, here goes nothing." she thought.
"Greetings, o mighty dragon of Mount... erm... Whatsisname! I bring good tidings to thee!"
To say that the dragon ignored her would be an understatement. Trixie cleared her throat impatiently.
"Hello? It's kind of important for me to speak with you!"
The amount of indifference on the dragon's part could only be measured in kiloshrugs.
"I didn't want to resort to this, but you leave me no choice. Let's see. Remember the three principles! Shout from your lungs, not your mouth! Use faux ancient! Let your voice sweep away the dust!"
She grinned.
"Wouldst thee payeth attention to thy humble servant, prithee?"
Metal Bend was having a dream about anvils. She grinned in her sleep, and her hoof unconsciously moved upwards, nearing her head. At least, it would, was it not for the unidentified object with the unfamiliar texture blocking the way. She opened her eyes, just to see the largest bag of bits she ever laid her eyes upon.
Needless to say, she sprang awake immediately. Thanks to that, she also noticed the hoof resting lazily on her midriff. The just rage of heavens boiled inside her. She leaped at the presumptous foal who tried to act all intimately with her, forgetting that they were covered by the same blanket. The result was a tangled mass of ponies, bits, and a blanket. The only effect her attack did was wake up Cast Silver. He gave her a menacing grin.
"Oh, you wanna play like that?"
The neighbours only heard a fierce battle cry before all hell broke loose.
There are plenty of ways to wake up from your dream about gems. Being assaulted by the Royal Canterlot Voice is probably among the worse ones. The dragon held his head in his claws until the world stopped spinning. He glanced down, and saw his worst fears come true.
Another pony.
As if last time wasn't enough, when he, a fully grown red dragon was pestered by a bunch of ponies, then lectured by a butter-coloured pegasus, who had the scariest stare he saw throughout his long life. Shuddering, he put up his best smile (what Pinkie would consider 'mildly threatening', seeing as she is the resident expert on laughter) and turned to the azure pony.
"What can I do for you?"
"I came for your skin!" the pony boldly replied. The dragon blinked.
"...Are you a dragonslayer? I haven't met one yet, but that sounded like you were one."
It was the pony's turn to be surprised.
"Slay? What? No, no, I just want some of your scales!"
"Why would you need my scales?" he asked confusedly.
"Well, why do you collect treasure other than the heck of it?"
"It feels nice to lay upon them after a warm summer afternoon." he explained. The pony was speechless.
"Ooookaay, didn't expect you to answer that. Suffice to say, I need your scales because they are simply marvelous! Dragons are tough, strong, smart and can breathe fire, so—"
"Not interested." he interjected. This seemed to throw the pony off-track.
"Interested? Why would you... OH SWEET CELESTIA, WHY?" she screamed, realising the whole nature of the implication. "Ugh! No! I need your scales because they are durable! Yuck!"
"I am kind of 'attached' to them, as you could say." the dragon joked. The pony rolled its eyes.
"Please, that was a bad pun. Just give me some scales, I'm sure we can work something out."
"I highly doubt you would have anything I want."
The pony just grinned smugly at him.
"Wanna bet?" she asked, levitating the object on her back down to the ground. The dragon couldn't help, but watch with piqued curiousity as the pony began unfolding the sheet it was wrapped in. When it finally saw the light of day, the dragon was disappointed.
"Why would I need a small...whatever that is?" he beckoned at the object. The pony raised its hoof chidingly.
"Tut, tut, my dear dragon. I had to shrink it a bit, because it was simply too big to just lug around. How about now?"
The pony lit up her horn, and indeed the object began to grow. The dragon averted his gaze for a second, and when he looked again, he was amazed. The glow reflected from the silvery surface, the figures depicted on the circular exterior... everything about it was simply perfect.
"How do you like it?" the pony asked. "I had this ring custom-made just for you!"
The dragon reached out in a daze, trying the beautiful ring on one of his claws. It fit perfectly. If he ever meets other dragons, he surely will be envied by them! After all, despite the infamous hoarding tendencies of dragons, they rarely encountered something larger than pony-appendage sized jewellery. He never even heard of drake-sized accessories!
'Wow.' was all he could utter.
"I took the liberty of casting a few spells on it, and combining that fact with the specifications I requested about the materials, the thing is nigh fireproof." the pony chatted. "So, about those scales..."
"Why do you need my scales that bad?" the dragon asked curiously.
"I'm going to shave an Ursa." the pony replied.
"Hmmm, yes, I can see—wait. You are going to shave an Ursa?!"
"Eeeyup!"
"With a blade made from my scales."
"Eeeyup!"
"What ungodly reason you might have for that? Revenge? Fame?"
"Oh, I just need some fur for my costume piece."
The dragon inhaled deeply.
"You cannot be serious." he deadpanned.
"Hey, do I tell you how to perch menacingly on your hoard?"
"Fine, you can have some scales."
He reached down to his leg, plucking a few scales loose. He put it down in front of the pony, who immediately began wrapping them in the sheet she brought. Once finished, she winked at the stoic dragon.
"I need one more thing from you."
The dragon rolled his eyes.
"Of course there is something else. Out with it!"
"I need you to throw me to the village nearby."
"No, you can't have—wait, what?"
"I need you to pick me up, lunge me into thin air, so I land approximately at the outskirts of the village that's nearby."
The main street was littered with unconscious ponies, many of whose faces were distorted into utter horror. The perpetrators for this massive bodycount stared at each other, huffing heavily. Finally, Metal Bend broke the silence.
"I think we went overboard."
Cast Silver looked around, taking in the scene.
"Guess so. Better get the mayor."
"Last time I saw him, I hit him on the head with a table. I don't think he'd be cooperative. Or conscious."
"Well, what do you suggest, then?"
The earth pony paused.
"Dunno. A walk, perhaps?"
The pegasus shrugged.
"Sure, why not."
They left behind the scene of senseless wanton destruction, and made their way toward the outskirts of town.
"So, why did you become a jewelsmith, anyway?" Bend asked. "I figure it gave a reason for all the other smiths here to make fun of you."
"Does it look like I care about what they say? I am a darn good jewelsmith, so I'm not going to waste my talent making horseshoes that every second smith does in this town! Why did you become a... What smith are you again?"
"Bladesmith, not that you'd notice." Bend scoffed. "I became one because I wanted to create more interesting crafts... It's a shame I can't get my hooves on some good materials."
"Yes, materials are hard to come by," Cast agreed, "but maybe now we will have enough resources with the Diamond Dogs supplying us."
The mare snorted.
"Don't tell me you're satisfied with just iron and silver! I need rare components, hay, you would need gems! The metal alone isn't enough to create something truly astounding!"
"What's so astounding about a blade? Whip up a sword in three days, then what? It's ugly, besides, who would use it anyway?"
"Did you just call my blades ugly?" she asked menacingly, raising her left hoof. "You want another monocle?"
"Bring it on anytime! Also, by ugly, I mean you create a blade, and then what? The hilt is so simple it makes me hurt to just look at it!"
"FINE!" Bend yelled. "Next time I make a sword, you make the hilt! Gah!" She noticed the stallion's sly smile. "What now?!"
"That loony unicorn was right, you are kinda cute when angry."
The earth pony blushed, but put up an angered expression.
"Not going to sweet-talk yourself out of this. Besides—" She let her gaze wander, resulting in her spotting something moving at a high speed in the sky. "LOOK OUT!" she cried, pouncing the pegasus. In a second, the thing slammed into the ground right beside them, creating a large crater, and blowing them a good three meters away. When they looked up, they saw a blue unicorn absent-mindedly dust her cape. Finally finished, she noticed the two dumbfounded smiths laying atop each other in an entangled heap. She waved at them with a smile.
"Hope I'm not interrupting anything!"
"You! Flying! Crash! Unhurt!" Bend was over cohesive sentence forming for the time being.
"Well yes, funny thing that is. Apparently, if you cast feather fall just before you hit the ground, the laws of physics give up, and cry in a corner. By the way, I got your dragonscale."
She motioned at the pack strapped at her back.
"I'd like you to begin working as soon as possible, and..." She noticed their stares. "Yes?"
"You just freaking crashed into the ground without any apparent injury." Metal Bend began.
"Yup!" Trixie confirmed.
"You managed to convince a dragon to part with his scales."
"Yup!"
"And all that, all that for a costume piece?!"
"Aaand yup. Is that all?"
Bend buried her face in her hooves.
"Sweet merciful Celestia, I don't even want to know what it's like when you try something serious for a change."
"Could we go back to the part where you go and make a blade for me? I liked it when that happened."
"Fine." Metal Bend sighed. The trio took off towards her smithy.
"...Then I took the finished thing, and sneaked into the Ursa cave, and stole some of its fur."
"Hold on. You're telling us that you simply went into an Ursa's cave, and just snipped its fur off?"
"That is correct." the showmare replied calmly. To say her claims were met with suspicion would have been an understatement. The one to voice the thought that were bothering all of them, was Pinkie.
"But Trixie, you're not the sneaky type! I mean, I can imagine you dressing up as a ninja, lurking in the shadows menacingly, but then you would probably yell 'THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE IS SNEAKING, IMBECILES! WATCH IN AWE AS SHE PASSES YOU UNDETECTED!' and blow your cover all over the place like a cakebomb! Mmmm... cake!"
"Correction." Trixie interjected calmly, "I would have no problem sneaking around a big, sleeping bear that only wakes up when it's hungry. Though, I might have made a little mistake on the way out..."
Trixie grinned triumphantly over the laying beast. Its fur clipped, her mission finally came to an end. With her prize stuffed in a bag, she carefully made her way out the leviathan's cave, making sure not to make the tiniest of peeps. She just succeeded in doing so, and glanced back from the cave's mouth with a gloating expression. Since she was far enough from the bear now, she opted to share her thoughts with the world.
"Ha! Take that, you stupid, sparkly bear! I vanquished the hay out of you! No longer will I be called a fraud! No longer—"
The only thing she forgot to take into account was the fact that caves have very good acoustics. The star beast roared as the annoying sound woke it up, making the ground tremble around it. Trixie did the only thing that she could in this situation.
She ran for her life.
...A good hour, and a few miles later, she dared to look back. No towering monstrosities until the eye could see. She carefully checked her belongings. Ursa fur, check. Cape and hat, check. Dragonscale scissor, che—
Twilight could not withhold her scholarly fury anymore.
"Now hold on for just one second! You're trying to tell us that you had a scissor made of dragonscale, which you used to cut Ursa fur, which is known to be as strong as steel?!"
"Yes." Trixie confirmed with presumptous calmness. Twilight's eye began to twitch, and Fluttershy could swear she smelled something burning.
"You're trying to tell me that you used a simple household tool to cut what the sharpest steel couldn't?! I hope you have some sort of proof!" she snorted. To her surprise, the showmare nodded.
"I anticipated the possibility of a neigh-sayer in our midst, so I came prepared!" she exclaimed, grabbing the helmet of her costume. In the depths of the fake mane, a small object was hidden, which she now revealed. It was, just as she told them, a small scissor, different from all the other scissors in existence in only a small reddish hue, and metal 'veins' on its surface. All in all, apart from the design, nothing was extraordinary about it. Twilight eyed the scissor with skepticism.
"That is supposed to cut iron." she intoned sarcastically.
"Yes. Here, let me show you."
Trixie took a spoon in her magical grip, then picked up the scissor, and dramatically opened it, placing the spoon between the sharp edges of its two blades. All eyes were on her. With a quick snap, she closed the two parts of the scissor together, then quickly yanked it away. The spoon remained intact.
"Ha! I knew it! It was ridiculous to think that—"
"Wait for it." the showmare interjected. Soon, the head of the spoon bent a little, then suddenly, it fell off. What it left behind was perhaps the clearest cut Ponyvilleans ever saw.
"If you ask my opinion," Trixie continued, "I believe that the spoon didn't notice until now that it was cut."
"But that doesn't make sense!" Twilight fumed. "It's not scientifically possible! Princess, please back me up on this one!"
All eyes turned to Celestia—or, to be precise, her empty seat. The white alicorn seemed to have disappeared. Everypony began to panic. After a few moments, a resounding trumpet blow drew their attention. All eyes were on Pinkie (who else), who gestured to Applejack.
"Now, if ya'll just calm down, then ya could prob'ly go outside an' see that the Princess is standin' riiight there."
What followed suit reminded Twilight of the last time she watched the dragon migration. Nearly everypony tried to squeeze themselves through the great double doors, with little efficiency. The ones to stay put were Fluttershy and Braeburn, who were too engrossed in their conversation to notice what is happening, a few foals who took the chance to run around wildly, and generally do things they weren't supposed to, a few gluttons, who couldn't be bothered even by a missing princess to stop their holy crusade against all that is food, and a certain red stallion, who calmly drank his drink before assessing the situation. Maybe it was the showmare's strangeness that rubbed off on him, but he wasn't worried at all. He also knew of the townsponies' tendency to overreact. The princess probably just went outside to get some fresh air.
"You have a weird friend." a voice called out from behind. Big Mac turned, only to see Lyra emerge from her seat. The mare wore a playful smile, and a cheery red party hat. Mac felt his cheeks redden a little, but tried to fight back his embarassment.
"Weird doesn't even begin tah describe it."
"Yeah, that's true." the mint mare agreed. "Even if she lied through her teeth just now, she surely can talk."
The stallion's brain desperately searched for a topic.
"So... uh.. Ah didn't see ya hangin' with Bon Bon today."
"Oh, Bons? She usually follows me around, but she has some kind of personal grudge against Trixie. Never asked why, though. So, she stayed home, and I guess she's making candy to vent her frustration."
"She's so angered by seein' Trixie again?"
"Nah, she recently gained weight. I told her not to eat seven times a day, but nooooo..."
"Ummm..." Mac was out of topics. "So... is her surname Bon Bon, or her first name?"
'Aaand the dumbest question of the year award goes to... Big Macintosh! Seriously?" he chided himself in his head. What he didn't expect, was Lyra's actual answer.
"Actually it's both."
"Wait. So ya say that..."
"Exactly. Her name is Bon Bon Bon Bon."
"That's.... Well... Uh... Ah have absolutely nothin' ta say about that."
"Yeah, kinda the reason she doesn't go around advertising it. By the way, what kind of books do you like?"
The sudden question caught Mac off-guard. He rubbed his chin with a hoof.
"Hm, lessee... Ah didn't really have time tah borrow a book from the library, so Ah only read books we had at home. Some mystery novels, farmin' books—that were wholly incorrect, by the way—some cheesy adventure novels, and the history of rock farming in Equestria."
Lyra could barely contain her laughter.
"Really?" she asked in a teasing tone.
"Ah was really bored. " Mac said defensively. Lyra patted him on the back, causing his knees to nearly give out.
"Relax, I'm not judging you. I'm just curious. You don't talk too much in town, so you're kind of a mystery. Got the attention of quite some mares, if I might add."
Mac blushed. Despite the natural redness, the mint unicorn noticed it.
"Aww, that's so cute! You're a bit nervous around ponies, aren't you?"
"Eeeyup." the stallion confirmed. Feeling that it wasn't enough, he tried to keep the conversation going. "So, um, what's this, uh, 'hyoomans' thing that ponies keep associatin' with ya?"
Lyra rolled her eyes.
"Seriously, that's what gets everypony. Talk about smart things, nopony cares, drop offhoofedly that how cool it would be if a beast of legends would be alive, and everypony calls you obsessed." Noticing Mac's confused expression, she elaborated further. "I'm a historian. I finished in Canterlot University with a PhD in ancient legends. You know, founding of Equestria, wendigos, et cetera."
Seeing his confirming nod, she continued.
"However, I studied ancient texts, from way before that. Apparently, ancient ponies had legends about these bipedal creatures, who were smart as unicorns, cunning as changelings, and vicious as griffons. But there is one strange thing. The texts containing these myths disappeared over time, as if nopony saw merit in saving them for generations to come. Come today, and most mythologists would look at you funny if you mentioned history before Equestria." Her eyes began to sparkle, and she looked into the distance.
"It's my dream to find some ancient texts one day that could shed some light on pony culture before Equestria." She sighed. "Problem is, I don't really have money or proper training to go on an adventure like that. Still, a girl can dream." She suddenly lit up. "Hey, Mac, do you have a dream?"
The stallion stayed silent so long that Lyra thought he wasn't going to answer. When he spoke, however, every single one of his words was showing he'd given it a lot of thought.
"Ah always wanted tah see the world, go around, and discover some of its many wonders. But everytime Ah get a longin', Ah look upon mah family, an' see that they love me so much, so Ah feel like Ah should repay them, somehow. Ah have a dream, but bein' loved feels better."
Lyra snuggled up to him, flashing him a bright smile.
"Aren't you the smooth talker? I've got to admit, you are surprisingly deep, Big Macintosh."
The stallion gave her a sideways glance.
"Right back at ya, Lyra Heartstrings."
Something has changed for him. He no longer felt embarassed to talk, nor inclined to stay silent. The concept of a date with her seemed much less worrying as it did an hour ago. It might be interesting, it might be tedious—all of that is moot. For now, his only interest was to stay like this a little longer.
Finding a princess when she doesn't want to be found is a nigh impossible task for simple ponies. Even more so, if said princess is Luna, who is the master of the night's darkness. Fortunately for the ponies of Ponyville, the princesses wanted to be found. Just a few steps away from the town hall they stood, conversing with the walking disaster area Ponyvilleans grew to know as Ditzy Doo.
"Ah, Your Majesties!" Mayor Mare stepped forward. "We were wondering if you'd grace us with your presence further, and came to ask if there is anything you need?"
Ponies murmured with acknowledgement. Was it not for the mayor's improvised speech, the entirety of Ponyville would have looked silly at once. Now, they just seem a little overzealous with their hospitality. No wonder she was the lead (and only) poltician of Ponyville.
The sun princess pondered the question for a moment.
"Actually, if there is any ca—"
"A-HEM!"
The dark alicorn made no effort to conceal her true intent: keeping her sister in check.
"Mayybe if you could be so kind and bring me a parf—"
"A-HEM!"
"I mean, a nice slice of cupc—"
"AH I'M TERRIBLY SORRY! I SEEM TO HAVE TEMPORARILY FORGOTTEN HOW TO WHISPER! OH, HOW TERRIBLE IT IS!"
Celestia sighed with resignation.
"Do you have a cup of lemon juice?"
"Make it two." Luna joined with a triumphant smile. The ponies hurried away to accomodate the wishes of their beloved rulers, not entirely sure of what just happened in front of their eyes. Celestia turned back to Ditzy.
"It is settled then. Come see me at Canterlot castle on Friday, and bring Pinkie Pie. The Pastry Appreciation Club shall be formed for the glory of Equestria!"
"I say!" the gray pegasus chirped. "Let's shake hooves on it!"
The princess smiled, and extended her hoof. Ditzy took it with a smile, and...
CRACK.
"Oh my muffin, are you all right? You're not hurt, are you, Your Majesty?"
"No, no it's all right, my decorative leg armor just snapped. I'm fine, really."
"I'm terribly sorry, Princess, here, I'll just pick it up, and—"
SNAP.
"Whoops... Um... Do you have a spare?"
"No, no it's quite all right. Still, it is peculiar that you could break it... twice... I had it made from titanium alloy."
"I have absolutely no idea what it is!" Ditzy announced cheerfully. Celestia rubbed her forehead in confusion. She finally decided to drop the issue, and return to the worried townsponies inside. Making sure she left, the moon princess turned to the cheerful pegasus.
"I do hope that you will keep her from eating too many sweets."
"Don't worry, Princess! I have devised lightweight muffins! If you eat them, you'll be lighter than you were before! Princess Celestia won't get a chubby tummy from my muffins!"
"I... see." Luna replied with an unsure smile. "It is quite amazing what you can do with a mere piece of pastry."
"Aw, schucks, Princess, you flatter me so much! I'm just a simple mailmare with a penchant for baking and stamp collecting! It was really nice talking to you."
This time, the Princess' smile was genuine.
"Indeed, Ditzy Doo. I have also enjoyed our conversation. I hope we will meet again someday."
Without a thought, she extended her hoof. The pegasus grabbed it, and...
SNAP.
"Oh, no! I did it again! Bad hoof! Why do you always break things? I'm so sorry, Princess! Was your shoe made of tighten-yum too?"
It was impossible to figure out Luna's emotions from her face.
"Actually, I made it from mithril. I suppose it does not matter, since at least I will be matching my sister's appearance this way. I have to admit, though, you have quite the aptitude for destructon."
Ditzy looked at her with confusion.
"Aptitude? But we're not flying right now!"
The moon princess stared at the pegasus, who sort-of returned her glare. Neither of them fully comprehending the other, they slowly moved back inside.
"My loyal subjects! It is time to bring this wonderful evening to a close. Although we would love to stay, duty calls us back to Canterlot."
All eyes were on the pristine princess, who was standing on a small podium, courtesy of the mayor. Somehow, one of her armoured shoes was missing. The fact that she gestured with that hoof made it even more obvious. Nopony dared to say anything.
"Before we go however, one last task remains. As my faithful student probably explained to you, Luna and I are the judges of tonight's costume contest. I must say, it is my pleasure to be asked to do so. But first, my sister wishes to share a few thoughts with you!"
As she stepped down from the stand, the alicorn winked at her sister, who returned it with a small smile. Lune cleared her throat. Experienced ponies took this chance to cover their ears with whatever they could produce—the moon princess' tendency to shout was almost legendary. This time, however, no such thing happened.
"Citizens of Ponyville! It is of great pleasure to me to be here again, seeing your happy faces. Even though my sister and I have so little time to go out and meet with ponies like you, you greeted us warmly, and showed kindness by accepting us into your celebration. I cannot press how much this mean to us. Thank you."
To say that the reaction was different than the first time Luna came to Ponyville would be an understatement. Ponies cheered, stomped, shouted, and waved at their princesses; all of them captivated by the alicorn's charisma.
"We love you, Princess!" came a shout from the back, its owner undiscernable. Luna smiled and nodded, but to those who knew her well the small blush on her cheek spoke books about just how much was she moved.
"I would also like to thank you for your great effort in costume-making.Each and every one of you worked hard to achieve their vision, would that be fright," she said, looking at Trixie and the Apples, "joy," she continued, gesturing to a group of ponies dressed up as ancient heroes, "or something... quite unique."
"Why did she look at me when she said that?" Rainbow whispered to Rarity. Thankfully, the princess didn't hear it.
"But no matter how I would like to reward each and every one of you for your diligence, a contest is a contest because there is only one winner. Therefore, I would like to announce you the winner of this friendly battle of costumes. Mayor, if you would be so kind to take the stand..."
The earth pony nodded, and quickly trotted over to the princess, who already stepped down from the podium. The mayor stood at her place with a questioning look on her face.
"Fillies and gentlecolts..." The moon princess paused for a moment, savouring the attention. "The winner of today's contest, and the costume champion is none other than... Bon Bon!"
"Huh?"
Ponies looked at each other with confusion. Bon Bon? Did she do something flashier than that magician? Where is she, anyway?
"Strange, I thought she stayed home." Lyra muttered. only Mac noticed it, though.
"Whaaat? Oh, c'mon, she's not even here!" Braeburn pouted. "What did she dress up as?"
"Why don't you ask the mayor?" Trixie asked with a smug expression.
"I whuh?"
Meanwhile, the mayor stepped forward, and tapped on the podium gently. Making sure she got everypony's attention, she began to talk.
"My dear friends, I believe Bon Bon has earned this prize. For she took on a costume so complex, so inconspicous that you did not even notice she attended this event."
"But, where is she?" a young colt chimed. The mayor's smile grew wider.
"Why, she's right here!" she said, taking off her wig. The ponies all gasped in surprise. Mayor Mare was none other than Bon Bon! The moon princess took back their attention.
"This pony has succesfully made you all believe she was the one controlling this town, looking over you. Moreover, she never once neglected her act during this evening, earning her championship not only by creativity and good enacture, but diligence, too. Three cheers to Bon Bon, the Costume Queen!"
The crowd erupted. To follow who is who this evening was getting too hard real fast, so everypony was happy to do something simpler: cheer. The blushing champion had received a pumpkin-shaped trophy as her reward, which she held up as high as she could. Suddenly, the ponies grabbed her, and started running around the town with her on their shoulders. Most of the ponies went out with them, leaving the two princesses alone.
"What do you think of this evening, Luna?" the elder alicorn asked.
"I think... we could do it next year, too."
Celestia winked at her sister.
"Only if we hold a cake-eating contest on the day of the Summer Sun Celebration."
"You're full of it, sister." Luna chuckled, winking back. Stepping outside, they noticed the ponies happily running around, still carrying the overjoyed candymaker.
"Perhaps it is time we take our silent leave." the white alicorn suggested. Luna rolled her eyes.
"Yes, I imagine Midnight is waiting for us. Even though we told him not to. Well, I think we can make quite a story of today to tell him, at least."
Celestia smiled at her sister as they reached their carts.
"That's the spirit! Now, let's call the guards, and have them pull us back...on the... Aw, fuzznuggets."
The sounds of partying slowly started to dwindle. It was late enough that foals and their parents set for their respective homes, leaving only a few ponies still mingling in the town hall. Twilight didn't really mind, since it eased the task of finding Trixie in the leftover mess.
Most of the townsfolk were having conversations, but some braver (or tipsier) souls shook their rumps in the corner. Searching for the infamous azure unicorn, her eye caught glimpse of an orange-maned yellow earth pony wearing the showmare's cape, looking pleased with herself. Twilight slowly drew closer, mindful of the noise she made. A few steps later, she could hear... Golden Harvest, was it? talking to somepony pretty much looking like Trixie.
"All right, consider us even. But don't be such a jerk again. You really had everypony going around with bad moods for a week."
"Don't worry, that's beyond me. I'm a new pony now. I'm such a new pony, that I'm nearly two ponies! Hey, look, there's Twilight Sparkle!"
Being exposed, the lavender unicorn had no choice but to step forward.
"Good evening, Golden. Trixie."
"Ah, that's my cue to leave. Gotta get home, Noi's already sleeping. Bye!"
The yellow earth pony slipped out of the cape, and hurried away from what she felt to be impending doom. Twilight sat on the opposite of the showmare.
"Well, I think this was a valiant draw." Trixie began. "Didn't expect anypony elso to be such high caliber like that Bon Bon fellow. Sooo... No hard feelings, right?"
