Derpy's life takes a whole new direction when she is given a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. But where will this new journey take her, and who will she be at the end?
Down on her luck and struggling to find her purpose in life, Derpy is approached by a mysterious stranger who offers her the chance to start anew and achieve her own destiny. Seizing the opportunity, she begins an exciting journey of self-discovery that changes her life forever, making new friends and enemies in the process, and becoming somepony she never thought she could be; a guardian of the night with a penchant for muffins.
A gigantic shout-out and many, many thanks to my friend Midnight Scribbler for the wonderful custom cover art! Check out and support his other awesome art here at his deviantART account: Scribblepwn3. Also, many thanks to Chengar Qordath, the incredible creator of the Winningverse, on granting me permission to utilize the Winningverse Kicker family and clan in my stories and the Batmareverse.
She was flying. High in the sky, far above the earth, Ponyville, the Unicorn Range, even Canterlot and Cloudsdale themselves. A pleasant sensation flowed through her body as the bright sun above warmed her coat and feathers. The air was still and peaceful, save for the faintest of breezes. She felt tranquil and relaxed, and, dare she think it, stable even. Flying for once wasn’t the challenge that it usually was for her. Maybe she’d stop by Sugarcube Corner afterward and grab a muffin on her way home. “Everything’s always better with muffins,” she thought cheerily.
Suddenly, she stopped in midair, eyes wide and jaw agape. There in front of her was a pegasus pony with a lavender coat, indigo mane, and yellow eyes. Flying ahead of her… was her mother. “Mom?” she said to herself in disbelief. “Mom!” she called, much louder this time, but the pegasus didn’t even turn around, and kept flying away from her. “Mom, come back!” she called again, beating her wings furiously. They kept flying further and further west, past the Unicorn Range, drawing ever closer to the Smokey Mountain, and soon, a band of menacing clouds appeared on the horizon. Celestia willing, her mother would turn sooner or later, but she simply kept flying straight towards the clouds. Soon, it became evident that they were more than just clouds, but rather, a massive storm. “Mom, get away from there, you’re going to get hurt, Mom, Mom!”
She tried to fly faster, but it seemed that the harder she tried, the further away her mother got; before long, they were both in the heart of the storm itself. The stinging rain and gale force winds made keeping up even harder than before, and she could barely make out the shape of her mom at this point. She’d stopped calling out to her after entering the storm, and instead focused all of her energy on catching up, but still she made no progress. Finally, her mother flew into a cloud far ahead of her and out of sight; a second later, the cloud spectacularly lit up as lightning crashed all around and inside it. “MOM, NO!!!” she screamed in despair, only to be struck by a thunderbolt herself right between her wings. An excruciating pain engulfed her, and then everything faded to black.
“No!” Derpy screamed, waking up in a cold sweat. She took a second to get her bearings, gazing around at the cold, dark walls of the prison cell she was currently confined to. She was panting. Her body felt hot, but she remembered where she was. She sighed as she let herself fall back, feeling the cool covers against her too-warm body. It was just a dream... thank heavens for that.
Unfortunately the same could not be said for her current situation, a fact that the young Derpy Hooves glumly took in stride. Well, better here than there she thought, thankful that the nightmare was isolated in some dark recess of her subconscious. As she noticed light shining through the bars of her cell window, Derpy happily considered that it was just about morning. That also meant it was almost breakfast, and she perked up in an instant from her previously glum state at this thought. Derpy always tried to think positive, not disregarding the bad, but simply letting the good things in her life outweigh it, and breakfast was by far her favorite meal of the day, so that certainly was something. Sure enough, a few moments later there was a sharp knock at her cell door.
“Breakfast time, rise and shine, inmate!” a gruff pegasus guard bellowed. As he unlocked her cell door, Derpy trotted over.
“Good morning, Mister Guard, sir,” she chirped, smiling widely and staring at him with her derpy eyes.
“Uh... good morning, um, inmate,” he said, taken aback by her cheery demeanor, and even more so by her strange looking eyes. Derpy didn’t mind; she’d always gotten strange looks from other ponies because of her eyes, and she figured her happy disposition, considering her current circumstances, must seem rather odd as well.
“How’s breakfast look this morning, Mister Guard? Any chance there might be some muffins?”
“Don’t hold your breath, inmate, we’re not running some five-star hotel here!”
“Awww, that’s too bad… oh well, I’m sure it’ll still be something good at least. Have a good day, Mister Guard!” she said. With that, she went off to join the other inmates of the Manehattan Correctional Facility now making their way to the dimly lit mess hall, leaving behind a now very puzzled guard wondering how anypony could be so cheerful in a place like this.
Sadly, breakfast was hardly what one would call savory, much less good, unless of course there was somepony out there who found watery oatmeal to be particularly enjoyable. Derpy sighed as the cafeteria mare dished out the cold, runny liquid into her bowl, her mind wandering, as it frequently did, this time to the thought of muffins. Oh what she would give for a delicious blueberry muffin right now!
Unfortunately, in her moment of absentmindedness, Derpy carelessly continued trotting forward without much thought of where she was going, bumping into and knocking over a large earth pony standing ahead of her with a group of inmates. Within a moment, the two ponies lay sprawled out on the ground, their meager breakfasts upset and spreading in a sad puddle before them. Recovering from the fall, Derpy looked up only to see the now very angry earth pony standing over her, glaring at her and flaring her nostrils as she huffed furiously.
“What’s the big idea, ya clutz?” she snarled.
“Oops… my bad! Didn’t see you there, mister.”
“I’m a mare!”
“You are?”
“What?!”
“Oh, I mean… well, um, gee, this sure is awkward. Say, ya ever have one of those mornings where it just seems like nothing can go right and everything just keeps getting worse and worse?”
“No, I don’t.”
“Oh, well that’s good–”
“But you’re about to!”
“Wait, what?”
“Welcome to Tartarus, ya freak!” The furious inmate raised both of her forelegs as she prepared to unload some serious punishment on the poor pegasus. Terrified, Derpy tried to get up and back away as quickly as she could, but in her haste her hind legs slipped on some of the oatmeal lying on the mess hall floor. In an instant she was flying through the air. Falling onto her back, her hind legs kicked up into the air, knocking the hulking earth pony square in the jaw and back into the group of inmates behind her. As Derpy recovered from her latest fall, she first noticed that everypony’s gazes in the mess hall were now fixed on the rapidly escalating situation. Then she noticed the angry group of inmates picking themselves up and turning their threatening gazes to where she lay.
“Uh oh.”
“Get her!” a pegasus screamed. Without another word, the inmates bore down on Derpy as she scrambled to escape their fury. Slipping under one of the smaller mess hall tables, she accidentally overturned it as she emerged from the other end, upending it into and knocking out two of the pursuing inmates. Galloping as fast as she could while simultaneously flapping her wings furiously in the hope of flying into the rafters of the mess hall away from her pursuers, Derpy tripped on one of her wings midstride, falling flat on her face. As she fell, her hind legs bucked back, straight into another one of the pursuing inmate’s chests, knocking the breath out of her. Picking herself up, Derpy realized that she was now surrounded by about a dozen very angry looking inmates, all of them large earth ponies.
“Heheh, don’t suppose you gals just want to laugh this off and let bygones be bygones?”
“No, not really. Think we’ll just beat the crap outta you instead!”
With that, four of the inmates charged at once towards Derpy. Terrified, her mind went completely blank, until, a split second before they were upon her, her instincts suddenly kicked in and she flew straight up into the air. The four inmates subsequently crashed into each other in spectacular fashion and lay in a crumpled heap on the floor. Flying higher towards the safety of the rafters Derpy breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that she was safe now from the inmates below. However, she failed to notice one of said inmates, who just so happened to be a pegasus, flying right at her until it was too late. Just as she reached the rafters, the angry inmate collided with her, tackling Derpy from her perch and sending them both hurtling in a rapid, spinning descent toward the ground below.
As they came crashing down, Derpy’s impact was slightly softened by the pegasus beneath her, who relinquished her grasp as Derpy landed on her chest. Unfortunately, as she rebounded from the hard landing and struggled to regain her balance, Derpy’s frantically flapping wings, along with the added momentum of the crash, carried her straight into a group of inmates at an alarming speed, bowling over all of them until she finally came to a halt in the middle of the mess hall, flat on her face.
Picking herself up, Derpy saw to her dismay inmates lying all around her, groaning from the surprising amount of pain they’d just suffered at the hooves of the clumsy mare. As she regained her bearings and realized, much to her relief, that nothing was broken, she also noticed more inmates beginning to move in a rather threatening manner towards her. Suddenly a shrill whistle sounded, stopping the inmates dead in their tracks, and a dozen pegasi guards charged into the mess hall, led by a unicorn prison officer. While the other guards filed past Derpy towards the fallen inmates, the unicorn turned his attention towards the grey pegasus and promptly lifted her telekinetically with his magic, levitating her over to where he stood.
“You three, get these inmates to the infirmary; the rest of you escort the rest of the inmates back to their cells, on the double!” the unicorn barked in an authoritative voice. “And as for you,” he said, turning towards the incapacitated Derpy, “solitary confinement!”
“What? Why?”
“For protection.”
“Oh thank goodness! Thank you so much!”
“No, dolt, protection for them!” he said, motioning over to the fallen inmates.
“Oh… right.” Derpy sheepishly replied, blushing embarrassedly at all the destruction she’d caused. Rolling his eyes, the unicorn turned and marched out of the chaotic mess hall with the levitated Derpy beside him, leaving the guards to restore order amongst the inmates. As he made his way through the winding corridors of the prison with Derpy in tow, the evidently unhappy unicorn angrily snorted.
“Unbelievable… un-bucking-believable,” he muttered to himself. “One day. You’re with us one day and you’ve already destroyed half of Mess Hall D and sent a dozen inmates to the infirmary! No wonder they locked you up.”
“B-but it wasn’t my fault, I swear, I-”
“Shut it, inmate! Ponies like you are locked up for a reason. You’re a danger to society, and can’t be trusted on your own to not hurt yourself or anypony around you. You’ve bucked up so many times that, at this point, prison’s the only place you’re suited for, and heck, you’ve already almost gotten yourself killed after only one day! You’re a real piece of work, you know that? Let me make one thing clear to you; the warden doesn’t like troublemakers, understand? So I suggest that if you have any concern in that tiny little brain of yours for your own self-preservation, you cut this bull crap immediately! Do I make myself clear?”
“Yes sir,” she whimpered.
“Good. Well, here we are; enjoy your time in solitary, inmate!” he snarled, roughly tossing Derpy into her new cell and slamming the thick steel door shut.
She just laid there for some time after that. The cell was even darker than her previous one had been, and her eyes strained to adjust to the inky blackness. Eventually she gingerly picked herself up and slowly walked over to the tiny window in the corner from which the tiniest sliver of light entered. For a long while, Derpy simply stood there, a steady, wet stream running down her cheeks.
“Stupid, Derpy! Stupid! How do I always get myself in these situations, huh? How?! Maybe… maybe prison really is the only place I belong. Maybe there really is nothing I can do right. Maybe… I’m just a mistake.”
For the next hour the pegasus remained in her sad, solitary corner, quietly sobbing to herself as she wondered why so many bad things always seemed to happen to her. Why couldn’t she just do something, anything at all, right? Suddenly, there was a sharp rap on the door.
“Inmate, you’ve got a visitor!” a unicorn guard shouted, unlocking her cell door with a levitated set of keys. Wiping away her tears, Derpy timidly turned around, curious, but also uncertain, as to who would possibly be visiting her.
The door slowly opened, and in walked a well-dressed unicorn who Derpy had never seen before. He carried himself with a very disciplined air, and everything about him seemed controlled, unreadable. Two of his features stuck out to Derpy: his cutie mark, which was, as far as she could tell, simply a dark-grey cloud, and his eyes. As he entered the cell, those piercing steel-grey eyes remained fixed on Derpy. She could practically feel them boring into her, like they were searching for something. After a long, drawn out moment of silence, he finally spoke.
“Curious, very curious indeed.”
“Wh-what’s curious?” Derpy asked hesitantly.
“Why you, of course. At first glance, you seem like the last pony who could possibly grievously injure anypony, much less a dozen. In fact, your very presence in this prison is an actuality that, for all intents and purposes, simply should not be.”
“Well I… I’m not very good at most anything.”
“Not very good? Why, Miss Hooves, I’d hardly call dispatching a dozen hardened inmates without even really trying ‘not very good’; on the contrary, it’s rather impressive, really.”
“What? How do you know my name? What’s this all about anyway? Who are you, my lawyer or something?”
“No, Miss Hooves, I’m not your lawyer. My name is merely Magique, Aucune Licorne Magique; I’m here on the behalf of Dämons Hengst, a stallion of great power and influence throughout Equestria, and one who can offer you a path.”
“A path? But… I already have – well, had – a job with the mail service.”
“A job and a path are not the same thing. A job merely provides monetary compensation and sustenance; a path, on the other hoof, provides so much more, is so much more. It is a mission, an endeavor, a destiny that one believes in wholeheartedly and would happily devote his entire life towards achieving. In short, it is meaningful fulfillment… and it is also something that your life is utterly devoid of at the moment.”
“But I – well – um – but – ” Derpy stammered, completely at a loss for words. As if her day couldn’t possibly get any worse, now some pompous jerk was telling her that her life was meaningless. “I just don’t know what to do!” she cried, struggling to fight back tears.
“I know, Miss Hooves, I know, and Dämons Hengst knows as well. That’s why he’s offering you a path. This is not just some job, this is a chance to discover who you are and what you can become, something that no one else has ever given to you. You have great potential Miss Hooves, but nopony else has ever seen it, and so like a crowd of blind, deaf, and dumb stallions, they’ve all left you to drift in the wind, writing you off as a mistake and failure. But Dämons Hengst doesn’t see failure; on the contrary, he sees untapped potential in you.”
Derpy sat there in disbelief. She hung on every word Aucune said, entranced by his almost unnaturally calm, hypnotic voice.
“So- so you’re saying that this Dämons Hengst could make me a normal pony? That I could be just like everypony else?” Derpy asked with a hopeful expression on her face. At this, Aucune frowned.
“Miss Hooves, perhaps I wasn’t clear; I said you have great potential. The path that Dämons Hengst is offering is no ordinary path; it is the path of the Ordo Extraordinarii. Dämons Hengst does not seek out ponies because he thinks they can be normal; he seeks out ponies because he thinks they can be great, and he does make great ponies, oh yes, he does indeed.
“You see, Miss Hooves, few ponies truly have or follow a path in their lifetimes. Content with the bare necessities, they choose to lead dull, boring, uninteresting lives, and leave this world as unremarkably as they entered into it. These ponies are, in a word, normal, and I wouldn’t wish their sad fate on anypony, nor would Dämons Hengst. But, Miss Hooves, if you make yourself more than just a mare, if you devote yourself to an ideal, and if nopony can stop you, then you become something else entirely.”
“Which is?”
“A legend, Miss Hooves.”
Aucune’s words hung in the air for an instant as they slowly sunk in, delving their way deep into Derpy’s mind and taking root. No words came to the stunned mare, so overwhelmed was she by the torrent of thoughts now streaming through her head. She just stood there, jaw agape in disbelief. The mysterious visitor cracked the slightest grin, content with the obvious impact his words had made on her.
“Tomorrow you will be released. If you are tired of wandering aimlessly through this life without purpose, there is a rare purple flower that grows at the base of the southern slope of the Crystal Mountains. Pick one of these flowers. If you can carry it to the top of the mountain, you may find what you’ve been looking for your whole life.”
“What am I looking for?”
“Only you can know that.” Just like that, Aucune turned and left, the guard locking the cell door behind him. For hours, Derpy remained fixed where she stood, still digesting all that had just happened.
How could anypony in their right mind think that she could do great things? Nopony had ever said anything like that to her before. Nopony! Well, that wasn’t entirely true. There was one who had always told her she could do great things, be anypony she wanted to be, accomplish anything she set her mind to.
“Mom,” she uttered. It had been years since she’d heard such words of encouragement. Any dreams her mother had kept burning bright while she was there for Derpy had all but died by now. Yet, here they were again, those very same dreams aflame once more, rekindled by this strange pony that she’d never even seen before today. Maybe, just maybe, there was something more out there for her, waiting in the Crystal Mountains. Something besides the teasing, the taunts, the ridicule, the constant clumsiness and innumerable mistakes that were the sum of her life thus far. But how could she know for certain?
“Probably just some really cruel, twisted joke somepony came up with,” Derpy concluded. Exiting her train of thought, the saddened pegasus ate what she could of the meager dinner of old hay that a guard had dropped off hours ago, then curled up on the damp straw cot in the corner of her cell. It was night now, and the moon’s luminous light barely shone through the cell’s tiny window, dimly illuminating it with its milky-white glow. Slowly, the tired mare drifted off to sleep, just trying to forget her troubles and leave them all behind, at least for a few precious hours. The dreams were different.
The tiny grey filly looked down nervously from the edge of the cloud she was perched upon. Just ten feet below her, a pegasus pony stood on another cloud, smiling up at her, eyes wide in anticipation and excitement.
“C’mon Derpy!” she called. “I know you can do it. Just flap your wings like I taught you to and you’ll be fine!”
“Bu- but it’s so high, Mama!” Derpy stuttered. “Besides, none of the other fillies my age can fly yet.”
“So, what’s that got to do with anything?” her mother countered, chuckling. “Somepony’s got to be the first to fly. Why not you?”
“But what if I fall?”
“Then I’ll be right here to catch you. Trust me!”
“I don’t know… couldn’t we just do this another day?”
“We could, we most certainly could; but Derpy, remember, the best things in life are those which we have to take the greatest leaps of faith to achieve. I have faith in you, Derpy, but you’ve got to have faith in yourself if you’re going to do this, and, like it or not, one of these days, you’ll have to take this leap of faith. So why not take it now, huh? Like I said, I’m here to catch you!”
The lavender pegasus flashed a bright smile and winked at her young filly. Encouraged, Derpy took a deep breath.
“OK Mama,” she called, “here I go!” With new resolve, Derpy backed up to the far side of the cloud to give herself a running start. When she was sure she could go no further, the trembling filly turned and took a nervous gulp, heart pounding and butterflies flitting about in her stomach. No turning back now.
For a moment more she just stood there, still as a statue. And then she was off, dashing as fast as she could and flapping her wings furiously as she approached the edge. With her eyes closed firmly shut, Derpy leapt off the edge, flapping her wings just as her mother had taught her to, anticipating to fall into her mother’s hooves a split second later.
And… nothing. She felt nothing. Her mom should’ve caught her by now, but still all Derpy felt was empty space. After about a minute, the filly alarmingly opened her eyes, terrified that she’d missed and was plummeting through the air. As she did, however, all she saw before her was her mother’s beaming face staring back at her with her beautiful yellow eyes.
“Mama?”
“Well done, my little filly. I knew you could do it.”
“Huh?”
Looking down, Derpy suddenly realized that she was hovering about a foot or two in the air above the cloud her mother stood upon. She was flying!
“Mama, I did it, I’m flying, I’m flying!” she exclaimed with glee.
“Yes you are, my precious Derpy, yes you are! And what a lovely cutie mark to boot, if I do say so myself.”
“My cutie mark? Really? What is it, what is it? Let me see, let me see!!!”
The excited filly landed in front of her mother, straining to catch a glimpse of the fresh cutie mark that now donned her flank.
“Huh? Bubbles? But, Mama, what could bubbles possibly mean?”
“Whatever they need to mean, Derpy, whatever they need to mean. Great things aren’t always clear in the beginning; they require patience, persistence, hard work, and a few more leaps of faith. But in time, mark my words, they will become crystal clear. You, my little filly, are a very, very special pony, and there’s not a doubt in my mind that you’ve got a bright, wonderful future in store for you. I’m so proud of you!” The proud mother wrapped her filly in a warm embrace and lifted her into the air as her daughter squealed with delight.
“I love you Mama!”
“I love you too, Derpy! I love you so very much!”
“Thanks Mama.” Derpy quietly uttered to herself, smiling, as she peacefully awoke from her dream. Her heart brimmed with resolve, a new courage pumping through her veins. The pegasus picked herself up from her cot and stood in her cell, feeling more confident and determined than she had in a long time, ready for a new day, a new beginning, and whatever the future had in store for her.
“Well, guess it’s high time I took another leap of faith. I’ll do it!”
“Aw horsefeathers,” Derpy groaned. So far her new beginning wasn’t off to the best start. The morning had started out well enough; after being brought to the warden’s office, the warden had explained that all charges against her were being dropped and she was to be released immediately, escorted by a guard detail to the base of the Crystal Mountains. They weren’t even going to keep her prison record on file. Up until that point everything had gone off without a hitch, and Derpy had even begun happily thinking that things were finally looking up for her.
Unfortunately things had only gone downhill from there. It turned out that Derpy’s escort, in addition to the two pegasi drawing the chariot she was to be escorted in, was none other than the very same unicorn who’d thrown her into solitary confinement the previous day.
“So… are we there yet?” Derpy asked again hopefully.
“Celestia is my witness, if you don’t shut your muzzle in five seconds, I will personally throw you from this chariot myself!” the unicorn snapped.
“But… I’m a pegasus, so… wouldn’t that kinda defeat the purpose of the… throwing?”
“Then I’ll jump myself! Anything to get a moment’s rest from your constant jabbering!”
“Fine, I’ll stop; just trying to make some conversation, Mister Grumpy Hooves.”
Derpy sighed, turning away from the evidently edgy officer and slouching against the side of the chariot box. She stared out at the endless expanse of bulbous clouds and the Crystal Mountains rising in the distance beyond the cleared farmland below. She really had put forward an honest effort at making conversation with the stallion earlier, tossing out any number of conversation starters she could possibly think of. Yet, despite her best efforts, the most that she’d managed to get out of him were a hoofful of “yes’s” and “no’s” and a series of indiscernible grunts. She’d briefly considered trying to start a game of “I spy” but had quickly decided that probably wasn’t the wisest idea. So in the end she’d opted to ask over and over again if they were there yet.
Honestly, what else am I supposed to do if he won’t talk to me? Say nothing at all? That’s so boring!
Derpy continued surveying their surroundings, a dull affair to say the least. After all, there were only so many ways to differentiate one cloud from the thousand others around it. The mare’s eyes darted this way and that, desperately hoping to catch sight of anything out of the ordinary.
Let’s see… cloud. Cloud. Cloud. Is that a bird? Nope, cloud. Cloud. Soooooooo bored.
She gave a big yawn, the adrenaline of this morning long gone. Ever so slowly the lids of her eyes grew heavier and heavier until finally they closed shut.
“Wooh, what a morning! Where’s my little filly, huh? Where’s my Derpy?”
“Mama!” a tiny filly cried, bounding as fast as her little hooves could carry her into the kitchen and her mother’s warm embrace. As the young Derpy squealed with delight another pegasus trotted in, somewhat agitated in her gait. Her coat was a dark-blue and she had a long curly sky-blue mane, in contrast to the mother and filly’s short spiky manes.
“Ah Ditzy, you’re home. And just where have you been, young filly? I’ve been looking all over for you!” the blue pegasus asked tersely.
“Hey Dot, playing hide-and-seek with Derpy I see,” Ditzy remarked, chuckling. “Were you hiding real good from Aunt Dot, silly filly?” Derpy rapidly nodded her head, beaming with pride. “Well, can’t say I didn’t warn ya sis; this filly’s the best hider I’ve ever seen! Isn’t that right you little scallywag?” she said, scooping up Derpy and blowing multiple raspberries into her belly while the filly giggled uncontrollably. Dot smiled, watching their playful embrace with a look of affection.
“So, how’d everything go this morning? From what you said before you left it sounded like you certainly had your hooves full.”
“You can say that again! Some airheads at the weather factory didn’t properly lock up a Category Five winter storm in storage last night and it nearly got past the city limits. Just imagine, everything from Canterlot to Fillydelphia would’ve been buried in a foot of snow in the middle of summer! What a sight that would’ve been, eh?”
“You took care of it though, right?” Dot asked with a concerned countenance.
“Well of course we did! Wrangled that blizzard real good. Even got her back in one piece to storage, and now she’s locked up good and tight like she should’ve been in the first place. Might’ve been a bit too much to handle for most other weather teams, but not the Cloudsdale Weather Brigade, thanks in no small part to Squad 7; we were right there in the thick of things the whole time, beginning to end. Captain Downpour was real proud of the squad’s performance; said she’d even recommend us all for commendations to Chief Frostbite himself!”
“Yay!” Derpy cried as Ditzy lovingly nuzzled her.
“Well that’s certainly a relief. Honestly, the weather factory’s gotta stop hiring ponies right out of flight school, they just aren’t experienced enough! I get that demands and quotas are higher than ever, but these rookies need some training before they can get put to work on the factory floor. Otherwise one of these days a storm’s going to get out of control like it almost did today, or even worse, somepony might get hurt. You and your squad mates really should say something Ditz; after all, it is your necks that are on the line every time something like this happens.”
“I know, I know Dot, trust me, I know. Don’t worry about it, our superiors are doing everything they can to make things better. Chief and the captains have been over at City Hall for weeks now pushing for new reforms and safety standards at the factory, and from what Downpour’s told us, it sounds like they’re making some good progress with the city council. But enough of this boring talk, I think it’s lunchtime for this little filly! Thanks again for watching Derpy on such short notice, Dot, I owe you one.”
“Ah it’s no trouble at all, anything for my big sis. See ya later! Have a good day, Derpy, you be a good filly now!”
“Bye bye Aunt Dot!” Derpy shouted after her aunt as she flew out the front door. A loud yawn emanated from Ditzy, who was just about ready for a nice, long nap after the morning’s strenuous activities.
“Alright Derpy, let’s get you some lunch,” she said, placing her daughter in a high chair before removing her saddlebag and trotting over to some cabinets, retrieving a number of items as she prepared Derpy’s meal. A few minutes later she came back with a bowl filled with a green, pasty-looking mush. Derpy scrunched up her muzzle and gave the bowl’s contents a look of distaste. The filly’s displeasure did not escape her mother’s notice, and she duly braced herself for another intense round of mealtime negotiations.
“Alright Derpy, here comes the num nums,” she chimed, putting on the most convincing smile she could feign and offering Derpy a spoonful of the mush. Derpy, however, only shook her head and kept her mouth shut tight as a trapdoor.
“Aw, c’mon Derpy, it’s alfalfa, it’s good for you; you’ve got to eat if you want to grow big and strong. Don’t you want to grow big and strong?” Still the stubborn filly refused and leaned as far back in her high chair as she could, straining to distance herself from the mush as much as possible. Seeing that sweet words were going nowhere, the by now seasoned diplomat decided to forego anymore vain negotiations and try a wild card instead.
“Well, alright Derpy, if you really don’t want any, then I guess I can’t force you,” Ditzy said as graciously as possible, turning away from Derpy. “It’s too bad, though; now you won’t get to see the surprise I got you.” At this, the filly’s ears perked up. She’d bit. Now to reel her in.
“Surprise?”
“Oh yes, I had planned on giving you a real special treat after lunch,” Ditzy remarked nonchalantly. Derpy slowly digested her mother’s ambiguous words, trying to infer their meaning.
“Applesauce?”
“Oh no, something much better,” Ditzy assured her filly, producing a paper bag from her saddlebag resting on the kitchen table as proof of her sincerity. At this Derpy’s eyes widened and she leaned forward in her high chair, wildly swinging her hooves in the air as she strained to reach towards the bag as far as she could.
“Nuh uh, not yet young filly,” Ditzy reprimanded, shaking her head. “First, you have to eat your alfalfa. Then, and only then, you can have your treat. OK?” Derpy pouted, clearly unhappy with this arrangement, but after a moment begrudgingly nodded, effectively bringing negotiations to a close. Satisfied, Ditzy once more proffered the spoonful of green mush to Derpy. After a moment’s hesitation the filly closed her eyes and slowly opened her mouth, allowing her mother to deposit the spoon’s unsavory contents inside. Derpy hurriedly chewed and swallowed the bland-tasting substance, trying not to retch, while Ditzy prepared another spoonful.
Over the next half hour this painfully slow process was repeated again and again until, just when Derpy didn’t think she could take another bite, her mother suddenly proclaimed, “Well, would you look at that; looks like you’re all done little filly! Good job, that wasn’t so bad now, was it? Let me just clean these dishes, and then I’ll get you your special treat as promised.” Instantly Derpy straightened up in her high chair as much as a young filly with a belly full of mushed up alfalfa could, her tiny wings flapping excitedly as she awaited her impending reward.
“What is it? What is it?” she asked, bouncing up and down in her high chair.
“Well, seeing as most of your milk teeth have already fallen out and been replaced by permanent ones, I figured it’s high time you started eating some actual solid, grownup food. But I didn’t want my filly to just start out with some boring old normal food like hay or oats, that’s no fun! Your first grownup food should be something special. So, I stopped at the baker’s after work this morning and picked you up this!”
Ditzy reached into the brown bag and produced a strange, orange-brown food, the likes of which Derpy had never seen before. She peeled off a wrapping that covered the bottom half of the food and placed it in front of the filly on her high chair’s tray. Derpy simply stared at the foreign object, wide-eyed and somewhat apprehensive.
“What is it?” she asked, maintaining a steady gaze at the item. Her mother only gave a lighthearted laugh, shaking her head amusedly.
“It’s a muffin, silly. Don’t worry, it won’t bite! It’s just a cake, that’s all. I get them at the baker’s all the time in the morning before work; no better way to start the day than with a nice, tasty muffin, I always say! They come in all kinds of shapes, sizes, and flavors, and some of them even have things in them like berries or chocolate chips. This one’s pumpkin flavored; I thought it’d be best to start you off with something a little less sugary and without any extra parts like chocolate chips to chew through, but still, I think you’re going to like it all the same. Well? Go on Derpy, try it,” Ditzy goaded, nudging the muffin closer to Derpy with a gentle bump from her muzzle.
For another minute Derpy just kept eyeing the muffin with a curious and puzzled expression, tilting her head this way and that, analyzing the new, strange food. Slowly but ever so surely she leaned in closer towards the muffin, looking it over from all angles and sniffing it purposefully before tentatively taking a small bite from the edge of the muffin top. After a few seconds of slowly chewing, the filly’s eyes suddenly lit up as though struck by an epiphany. Quick as a flash, Derpy tore into the muffin, gobbling it up as though her life depended on it. Before her mother could even tell her to slow down, she’d inhaled the whole muffin, leaving only a few crumbs on the high chair tray.
Ditzy stared awestruck for a moment before bursting into uproarious laughter. Derpy slouched in the high chair, face covered in crumbs and belly bulging with a look of pure ecstasy etched on her face. A tiny burp emanated from the satisfied filly, and her mother began laughing even harder.
“So, you like muffins huh?”
“Mmmm… muffins,” she said in blissful affirmation.
“Well then, guess I know what special treat to get for a certain filly from now on, eh?” Ditzy chortled, tousling Derpy’s mane and affectionately nuzzling her. Derpy giggled with delight and wrapped her hooves around her mother’s neck, and the two remained affixed in their warm embrace, sharing in a small but precious moment of joy, laughter, and unconditional love.
“Oof,” Derpy impulsively blurted, roughly jostled awake as the chariot made a bumpy landing. As she slowly awoke from the old memory, she automatically asked in an absent minded manner, “Are we there yet?”
“Yes, for the love of Celestia, we are finally here!” the unicorn officer exclaimed. Derpy groggily picked herself up off the floor of the chariot box, stretching her limbs and splaying her wings before hopping from the back of the chariot to the ground below. It was only then that she noticed her surroundings.
“Woah,” Derpy breathed. Behind her lay a never-ending expanse of farmland, but before her, no more than a mile away, rose the dizzying heights of the Crystal Mountains. Unlike the grey peaks of most other mountain ranges in Equestria, the Crystal Mountains were a spectacular body of multicolored mountains. Magnificent ruby, sapphire, emerald, amethyst, and citrine-colored streaks covered the face of the mountains, as though painted on there by some gigantic being in ancient times long past. Derpy had heard in school that at one time the mountains had actually sparkled, but after something had happened in the Frozen North long ago, they’d lost their luster. Probably just an old filly’s tale, but sure enough, the mountains, despite their stunning appearance, certainly didn’t sparkle. In fact, the colors seemed rather dulled, though Derpy figured this was probably just from age, and all in all it was one of the most spectacular sights she’d ever beheld.
“Sir, are you sure this is where we’re supposed to leave her?” one of the pegasus guards asked.
“This is exactly where the warden ordered we drop her off,” the officer confirmed.
“But there’s nothing out he-”
“Look, you’re paid to follow orders, not question them, and certainly not to think. One more word from you and so help me I’ll-”
“It’s OK guys, don’t worry about it, I know where I’m going,” Derpy hastily interjected. The last thing she wanted was some guards getting chewed out on account of their superior officer’s bad disposition towards her. “Thanks so much for the ride, I really appreciate it!”
The unicorn glared at Derpy, but let her interrupting him slide and gave a gruff snort. “Let’s just get out of here,” he ordered. “Oh yeah, inmate, you forgot this!” he called, roughly tossing Derpy her saddlebag that’d been confiscated the day before. The two pegasi turned the chariot around, galloping at full speed and flapping their wings until, after gaining enough momentum, the chariot took off, heading back south to the prison.
Derpy watched until it’d disappeared below the horizon, then retrieved her saddlebag. The mail she’d been carrying was gone (probably given to some other mailpony), but the scarf she’d brought along for colder weather and the high-altitude flights she often made for long-distance deliveries was still there, along with a pouch containing a few bits. Strapping her saddlebag to her trunk and wrapping the scarf around her neck, she turned back, facing the Crystal Mountains once more.
“Do you really know where you’re going?” Derpy wondered aloud, but with nowhere else to go and determined to press on toward whatever awaited her at the top, began trotting towards the mountains’ base. As she walked along, she munched on some of the wild grasses growing in the fields nearby; certainly not the most delectable meal, but it was better than nothing.
Let’s see now, there was something Aucune told me to grab before I climbed… what was it? Oh right, a purple flower. I wonder where that could be.
She surveyed the fields at the base of the mountains, but couldn’t discern any purple flowers, much less anything else out of the ordinary. However, when she was about 100 yards away from the base, Derpy suddenly noticed a large number of unnatural looking objects jutting out of the ground to the right of her, in the shadow of the mountains. Her curiosity piqued, she veered towards them.
Once she was close enough, Derpy was able to discern that the objects were pikes. Dozens of them towered over the pegasus with long, white flags running down their sides. Derpy examined one of these flags more closely and discovered that it was completely white save for an emblem in the center; a black ring containing three oblong black bars. Each bar was equally spaced from the other two and jutted toward the center of the ring, all three meeting in the center. Derpy gave up after a few minutes consideration, at a loss as to the meaning of the strange device.
It was only after this examination that she realized why these dozens of pikes had been planted here. Growing all around them were thousands of purple flowers; each one consisted of a large, heart-shaped purple petal in the center and dozens of tinier pink and purple heart-shaped petals hanging below. Derpy could only assume that these were the flowers that Aucune wanted her to retrieve, and bent down to pick one, gingerly nibbling at the stem and carefully depositing the strange flower in her saddlebag.
Still a little hungry after her meager meal of wild grasses, she briefly considered nibbling on a few of the flowers; after all, they certainly looked quite tasty. However, after bending down to sniff a few, Derpy decided against it. She couldn’t quite put her hoof on it, but something smelled… off about them.
Oh well, I guess that’ll do till I get to… wherever I’m going. This is crazy, I mean, all he said was ‘carry it to the top of the mountain’. What does that even mean? There’s dozens of mountains!
Scanning the base once more, however, Derpy spotted two more pikes, similar to the dozens marking where the purple flowers grew, at the base of one of the mounts. Drawing near them, she felt a strong downslope wind blowing down from the mountains. The wind was surprisingly warm and dry, but also incredibly forceful, meaning that flying up the mountain would at best be a hazardous affair.
Upon reaching the pikes, she saw that they marked the foot of a winding, narrow system of stairs that seemed to extend up the face of the mountain. The stairs were weathered and appeared ancient, carved into the mountain itself.
After contemplating her options, Derpy finally decided. “Well, here goes nothing. Better stick to hoofing it rather than risk flying up into that wind. Too dangerous. Besides, it can’t go that far up, right?”
“Sweet Celestia, how far up do these stairs go?!”
Derpy panted heavily, pausing for a moment to get her bearings. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw that she was about a fifth of the way up the mountain. At this elevation the air was much cooler, and the previously warm downslope wind had turned frigid. The biting cold elicited shivers from the pegasus, and she hugged her wings close to her sides to keep warm. Turning her gaze upward, she tried her best to register where the stairway came to an end but couldn’t make out a thing; the seemingly endless path appeared to stretch on forever up into the very heavens themselves. The tired mare sighed with disappointment, but hastily resumed her climb, dwelling on her anxious thoughts to distract her from the cold and her own growing fatigue.
Geez Derpy, what’re you doing, huh? What, you meet a strange pony who says some nice things to ya and suddenly you're climbing a mountain that goes Celestia only knows where? That’s just not good enough, Derpy, not good enough at all! There’s just got to be more to it than that.
The air began growing thinner and thinner, but Derpy didn’t have trouble adjusting her breathing. Pegasi were used to high altitudes, most being born in Cloudsdale and spending much of their lives flying amongst the clouds they alone could handle and control. Unfortunately, as Derpy got higher the wind grew stronger and colder, and to make matters worse she soon found herself in the middle of an incessant snowfall. Still she carried on her self-examination, searching the depths of her soul for the answer she was looking for. With each step she took Derpy felt as though she was not only one step closer to the top, but also the answer she sought.
Suddenly, it hit her.
No. I’m not doing this just for nothing. I’m doing this for Mom, for myself, and for every pony out there I’ve always wanted to help as best I can but never been able to. I know, in my heart I know I’m not just a derpy-eyed fool who can’t even fly ten feet without bumping into something, much less do anything right. There’s something… inside me. Deep down, I know it’s there. Something special about me that I just haven’t found yet. Mama always knew it was there, she said so all the time, and if she thought it was there, well then, by the sun, moon, and stars that’s good enough for me! I’ll find it Mama, I promise you, I’ll find it! No matter how long it takes, no matter how hard it is, I’ll find it Mama; who I am to be, what I’m meant to do, I’ll find it and do what little I can to make this world a better place.
That settled it then. There was no turning back now. Come what may, she was going to see this journey through to the end, no matter where this mountain path led. Against the stinging cold Derpy pressed on, a fire now burning within, fueling her ascent.
Only a short while later the stairs came to an end, the mountain slope leveling off into a fairly flat, open space encompassed in a semicircle of tall, sheer crystal walls. Derpy let out a sigh of relief, thinking that she’d finally reached her destination. Those hopes were dashed a moment later, however.
Before the weary pegasus were about a dozen ponies unlike any she’d ever seen before. They all appeared to be earth ponies, and their coats and manes displayed a collection of diverse colors that seemed to compliment the multi-colored array of the Crystal Mountains. However, just like the mountains as well, these ponies’ coats and manes seemed dulled, and they themselves appeared to be extraordinarily somber, as though a dispiriting cloud hung over each and every one of them. Unsure if they’d noticed her, or were even the ponies she was looking for, Derpy cleared her throat and hailed them, trying to gain their attention.
“Um, excuse me, hello! Do any of you by any chance know where I could find a pony named Dämons Hengst?” Hearing this, a few of the strange ponies turned their gaze towards where Derpy stood, but only for the briefest of moments. Upon catching sight of her almost all the ponies tore apart in a flash, frantically galloping this way and that, much to Derpy’s surprise.
“Woah! Hey! Wait a minute, I- please, just let me explain, I’m looking for- could you please just- ughhh, I just need some directions!” But it was no use; within a minute virtually every panic-stricken pony had fled into what appeared to be a number of doorways roughly hewn into the crystal wall encircling the area.
Huh… didn’t see that coming. Was it something I said?
Recovering from her momentary shock at the ponies’ bizarre reaction, Derpy trudged forward, glancing from side to side into the holes they’d disappeared into.
“Please, somepony, anypony, I just need some help! Please! It’ll only take a second of your time, and I don’t mean any harm, I’m just looking for somepony!”
At that moment Derpy heard a soft grunt out in front of her. Looking straight ahead, she saw at the far end of the space two ponies that she hadn’t noticed: an elderly-looking pony and a tiny colt. The elder, an aged stallion with a silver mane and sapphire-blue coat, was gently but forcefully nudging the colt, who was staring wide-eyed at Derpy, towards one of the doorways. After a second’s more encouragement, the colt scampered off to one of the holes, still glancing over his shoulder every few seconds back at Derpy. Turning her attention towards the elder, Derpy saw that he was now gesturing towards her, waving her over with one of his hooves. With nowhere else to go, she trotted over to him.
“Um, are you Dämons Hengst?”
The elder shook his head and moved aside from where he stood. Behind him was a narrow cleft in the crystal wall that Derpy hadn’t noticed, barely visible even this close. Derpy looked to the elder, who in turn simply nodded toward the cleft. She quickly understood his meaning, much to her chagrin.
Oh perfect… more climbing.
Peering into the cleft, Derpy could make out a dark tunnel lit at intervals by daylight pouring in through skylights carved into the tunnel ceiling. Just as she was about to continue on Derpy felt a hoof gently laid upon her back. She turned toward the elder pony, whose countenance emanated grave concern.
“It’s not too late to turn back; you still have a choice.” Derpy flashed an appreciative smile but shook her head.
“No, I’ve made my choice. Thank you, but I have to do this.” The elder nodded and turned, making his way towards one of the holes and leaving Derpy to do as she pleased. Taking a deep breath, Derpy entered the tunnel, leaving behind the strange settlement.
The air was cool inside, but at least now Derpy was shielded from the winds that had constantly assailed her throughout her ascent. The stairs, like the ones outside, appeared ancient and worn, as though thousands of hooves had trodden over those cold stone steps across the centuries. Thankfully, the grade of the climb was not nearly as steep as it had been coming up the mountain, but still, Derpy’s hooves were awfully sore. Under any other circumstances she probably would’ve chosen to fly the rest of the way, but at this point every single one of her limbs – including her wings – ached far too much to fly even for a few feet. So on she trudged, exhaustion slowly creeping over her with each step she took, yet simultaneously the flame kindled inside continued to grow as well until it was a raging inferno of indomitable will-power, unflinching from the dark path that lay ahead.
After climbing what seemed to be thousands of more steps, her path lit only at intervals by the dozens of skylights overhead, Derpy finally caught sight of a light ahead that did not emanate from the ceiling. There at long last, at the top of the stairs, was an exit; as tall as a minotaur, and wide enough for one to boot, the rectangular opening was clearly no natural formation. Somepony, or ponies, had made this, carved it into the very mountain itself along with the practically endless stairway Derpy had just climbed.
Well, whoever they were they did all this, and nopony would’ve done all this unless it led somewhere worth doing it for. Oh Celestia, whatever’s out there, please let it be what I’m looking for. Please!
With that final silent appeal Derpy dragged her tired limbs over the last few remaining stairs to the exit, emerging from the dark tunnel into the gray light and cold mountain air. As soon as her eyes had readjusted to the blazing light, Derpy saw where she was and knew right away that she’d come to the place she’d been looking for, the place she’d been climbing so very hard to reach all day.
Before her lay a vale, enclosed on all sides by the Crystal Mountains and secluded from the rest of the world save for the well hidden path that led to it. It wasn’t exactly lush; at this altitude hardly anything would grow, and most of the vale was covered in boulders and snow. All that, however, was irrelevant in light of the glaringly obvious elephant in the room that immediately caught Derpy’s attention.
Directly ahead of her across a paved stone bridge lay a castle resting upon a motte in the center of the vale. It was unlike anything Derpy had ever seen before; there were no prettily-colored towers, elegant walkways, or dainty flourishes like at Canterlot Castle. Instead, tall grey drum towers and strong stone walls rose before her, a foreboding sight to say the least. Battlements surmounted the towers and walls, and dozens of arrow slits dotted the faces of both at intervals. Evidently this was no castle for fancy galas or the casual comings and goings of thousands of ponies on a daily basis; this place, secluded and heavily fortified as it was, was clearly meant to keep out anypony who didn’t belong there.
But she’d come all this way: found the flowers, climbed the mountain, passed through the tunnel, and finally ended up here, all in a single day, all for the dream that now burned within her and had kept her going all the way up. She did belong here, deep down in her gut she just knew it! Any pony who’d gone through all that just to find this place belonged, no matter what anypony else said.
Her destination in sight at long last, Derpy determinedly trotted across the stone bridge towards the castle’s gate. As she neared, she realized, much to her surprise, that the gate was already raised and the way before her open.
Well, Mr. Magique did invite me, and that’s an invitation if I ever saw one. Guess it’s time to meet this Dämons Hengst.
Passing through the wide open gates of first the outer then the inner wall, Derpy found herself in the middle of a large courtyard, the castle’s inner ward. A few small buildings lay on the edges of the courtyard, but most appeared to be empty or locked up. At the far end, however, lay the keep, a strong-looking building that towered above the rest. Through the few slender windows that dotted the upper levels Derpy could just make out a faint light and smoke. Somepony was definitely in there all right.
The weary mare briskly trotted over, filled with a nervous excitement and, truth be told, ready to rest and warm her tired limbs after her epic climb. Unfortunately the doors to the keep were locked, so Derpy wearily pounded on the hard wood three times, silently praying that somepony would answer. The snow had started coming down harder than before, and standing there in the frigid cold the poor pegasus’s limbs began to shake.
Please, please, oh please open up! If my own exhaustion doesn’t get me any second now, the cold will.
Just then both doors slowly opened with a loud creak, and Derpy hastened inside, relieved to be indoors and away from the freezing weather. For a few seconds she clumsily stumbled about in the dark, barely lit entrance hall, searching for a helping hoof that might point her in the right direction. Suddenly she heard another creaking sound, and before her a second set of doors opened, revealing a great hall illuminated by a roaring fire blazing in a large hearth.
A great, long table stretched down the middle of the hall; sitting at the far end, at the edge of the light cast by the hearth, was a single pony. Derpy slowly approached, nervous, muscles tense. As she entered the hall she got a better view of the pony facing her; he was a unicorn, coat black as night and mane white as snow, clad in a dark-grey robe. He leveled his eyes on Derpy, staring steadily straight into her own, his face stoic and expressionless.
“Dä- Dämons Hengst? Are you Dämons Hengst?”
All of a sudden a deafening slam rang out behind her and Derpy spun around, alarmed. An earth pony, his entire trunk clad in black armor and wearing a simple black helm, had shut the doors and lain a crossbar across, barring them. He turned and gave the newly arrived pegasus a watchful sideways glance. Derpy heard more movement and turning back saw that at least half a dozen similarly arrayed ponies had emerged from the shadowy edges of the hall, some carrying spears. They all affixed their wary, serious gazes on Derpy, and some began to slowly approach her. As they drew closer, her eyes nervously flew from face to face, and she wondered if she’d said something wrong by mistake.
“Wait!” a familiar voice called out from the dark and the guards stopped dead in their tracks. A second later, none other than Aucune Licorne Magique emerged from the shadows (much to Derpy’s relief), now wearing a dapper white suit and black tie. He stood beside the seated Dämons Hengst, fixing his gaze on Derpy as it seemed everypony else was. Nopony moved a muscle. After an eerie moment of silence, Derpy decided to break the ice.
“I ah, I brought the flower just like you told me to. Here it is, see?” She carefully produced the purple flower from her saddlebag and placed it on the table in front of her. A steel-blue magical aura telekinetically lifted the flower, projected by Dämons Hengst at the far end, who brought it over to where he sat. Twiddling it in the air he and Aucune both eyed it, as though inspecting some rare gem for defects. Apparently satisfied, he laid it down and they both nodded at each other, and finally Dämons Hengst spoke, addressing Derpy in a flat orotund voice.
“Why have you come?”
"Uh, well, because you invited me, I guess. I mean, Mister Magique told me that you wanted me to come, so… here I am!” Derpy offered, cracking a weak smile.
Dämons Hengst rolled his eyes and muttered something to Aucune, who only nodded and stepped forward.
“No my dear, I think you misunderstand. What is your purpose, Derpy Hooves? Why have you come all this way? Why are you here?” he asked calmly.
“Oh, sorry!” Derpy blushed sheepishly, looking down in embarrassment, but quickly collected her thoughts, which at this point was far from easy. The drained pegasus was completely sapped of all her energy and felt as though she might collapse where she stood any minute now. But as she wearily combed the corners of her mind she suddenly remembered her climb. Everything she’d thought of as she made her way through the cold, the snow, and anything else that mountain could throw at her came rushing back, and she looked back up unflinchingly straight into Dämons Hengst’s eyes, armed with an answer.
“Well Mister Hengst, sir, I’m here because I need to be. I’ve spent far too many years wandering about aimlessly, clumsy, the butt of everypony’s jokes, and just not really good at anything at all. After all this time I just don’t know what to do anymore, and that feels… awful. I want to help other ponies like my mother did, Mister Hengst, I want to make a real difference. I know I can, I just don’t know how. But you’ve offered me the chance to find out how and, well, I’m here to take that chance. There’s nothing else better I can do really. I’ll give you my all, every last bit of effort I can muster, if you’re still willing to take me, and maybe, just maybe I’ll be able to find where I belong in Equestria.”
The unicorn narrowed his eyes, studying Derpy; after what seemed like an eternity he finally broke the silence. “In order to find out what you can do, and become a member of the Ordo Extraordinarii, you must first discover who you are.”
Aucune walked over to where Derpy stood. As he neared she thought she saw a look of satisfaction come over his face, and he flashed a small smile at her. “We’ll begin in the morning, Miss Hooves. For now, however, I’d say some rest is in order; you’ve certainly earned it. Your first trial is complete, and now that you’ve been baptized in the fires of this first travail you are ready to begin life anew, like a phoenix rising from the ashes. But go now, you must be weary. Brawny Charger can show you to your quarters. Good night, Miss Hooves.”
One hot meal and refreshing bath later Derpy was nestled under a nice, warm blanket, her tuckered out limbs finally getting some rest. Her room was more like a cell, very small and simply adorned, and her “bed” was more of a cot than an actual bed, but it was certainly a big step up from the prison cell she’d slept in the night before. Besides, none of that mattered to her anyway. She’d gotten here, that’s all that really mattered, and tomorrow all her effort was going to pay off. It was like her whole life was about to start over fresh, a clean slate. If she wasn’t so burned out she might not have been able to fall asleep at all on account of the excitement she felt coursing through her. But soon after wrapping herself in the warm confines of the blanket, weariness stole over the exhausted Derpy and she quickly drifted off to sleep.
Soon, Mama, I’ll be able to show everypony just what I can do, that I’m not just some bumbling clutz. I’ll make you proud yet, Mama! You’ll see, you’ll see. Soon, Mama… soon.
“Well, what did I tell you? Quite a find, no?”
“She already shows potential, that is undeniable. But…”
“But what?”
“Does she really show that much promise? For what we intend to ask of her, I mean?”
“What do you mean?”
“There’s nothing particularly extraordinary about her. She’s hardly the most promising candidate I’ve ever seen.”
“You simply can't see it. Call it instinct, hell, call it a gut feeling if you want, but for whatever reason I see something there. I can't put my hoof on it, but I know it's there; the potential for greatness. My instinct's never betrayed me before, friend, and my instinct's telling me now that that young filly is capable of great things. Trust me.”
“Well... if you feel that way, then that's good enough for me sir. You really think she'll be the final piece of the puzzle for Operation Herz Sturm?"
“Oh yes, there's no doubt in my mind. We're almost there, friend. We're almost there.”
Derpy's eyes opened as she woke from her deep, peaceful sleep to see a tan unicorn staring back at her. Derpy only returned Aucune’s gaze with a blank, half-awake stare before giving a gaping yawn.
“Good morni- WAH!” she screamed, bolting upright in her cot, her wings splaying out in alarm as her mind finally began to register the stallion sitting a few feet away from her. “Wha- what the- what are you doing here?” she asked, catching her breath as she recovered from her initial shock.
“Waiting for you to wake up of course,” Aucune said. His steely eyes still seemed to be studying Derpy just as they had the first time they’d met, although their exact intent remained just as ambiguous as before.
As she rubbed the last lingering traces of sleep from her eyes, Derpy noticed narrow shafts of light shining through the two arrow slits dotting the far wall of her cell. “Uh, what time is it?” she asked.
“Half-past noon,” Aucune said matter-of-factly. Derpy winced, her cheeks turning a bright crimson.
Great, just great, the first day of my new life and I sleep through half of it. Fan-feathering-tastic!
Aucune, however, didn’t seem bothered at all by this. Quickly perceiving Derpy’s flustered reaction, he hastily interjected, “There’s no need for alarm. After all, you did climb about three-fifths of a mountain just yesterday. Frankly I’m surprised you’re up already. Not that it much matters one way or the other; today’s lesson shouldn’t take very long, so you’ll have plenty of time to go back to resting before the truly demanding activities begin tomorrow.”
“Demanding activities? Like what?”
Aucune just shook his head. “Later. We’ll cover everything shortly, I assure you. Just trust me when I say you’ll need all the rest you can get in these coming weeks when you can get it. Our regimen is designed to demand the most of your physical and mental capacities, and that’s just for starters, so let’s begin by getting you something to eat. Your body’s going to need all the replenishment it can get if you hope to survive what we’re going to put you through.”
Survive? Oh Celestia, what have I gotten myself into?
“Well, come along then, no point in just standing here dawdling about.”
“Wait, just one more thing.”
“Yes?”
Derpy raised an eyebrow. “Were you planning on just sitting there all day watching me until I woke up?”
“Yes,” he said. “Why?”
“Oh, no reason!”
Just hope he doesn’t make a habit of it. I mean, at least I got some privacy in solitary confinement.
A sudden, rather demanding grumble from the pit of her stomach made Derpy realize just how hungry she really was. “Lead the way, Mister Magique, I'm starving!”
After a satisfying meal, Derpy and Aucune left the warm confines of the keep, the pegasus donning a cloak provided by Aucune for the cold. Last night’s snowfall had left a fair layer of snow upon the ground, and about a dozen ponies were busy clearing it from the inner ward and battlements. Aucune led Derpy past them all to the outer wall (presumably for some privacy), and there they walked along the battlements.
“The first stage of our regimen is Innere Eroberung. In this phase you will undergo rigorous basic physical training coupled with studies in history, philosophy, science, and the tenets of the Order. I have been charged as your sole tutor for this stage, and will be personally overseeing your training and progress each step of the way. Are you following me so far?”
“I think so,” Derpy replied. “Just one question: why? I mean, what’s this all for?”
“Demons of course,” Aucune answered, eliciting a puzzled look from Derpy. “Let me explain; we all have demons in our lives, Miss Hooves, whether we know them or not. Sometimes they’re the result of years of some recurring behavior or condition in our lives, and other times they’re born out of one single event that simply changes everything. Before we can even think about becoming the best ponies we can be, we first have to conquer these demons and dispel them. Only then will your mind and body be ready to surmount any and all limitations, for your demons are the greatest barriers of all. If you can conquer them, you can conquer anything.”
“So what are my demons?” Derpy asked, to which Aucune simply gave a soft chuckle.
“Easy Miss Hooves, not so fast. You’re getting just a little ahead of yourself. I could not tell you what your demons are even if I knew; they are yours to discover for they are yours to overcome. Besides, before you can even begin to worry about uncovering your demons, much less confronting them, you must first prepare your body and mind for this trying tribulation. Once you reach a suitable point in your training, only then will you move on to the final phase of Innere Eroberung. At that point you will identify, confront, and master your demons once and for all. Are you ready to begin?”
Derpy stared off thoughtfully into space for a good moment before turning back to Aucune, returning his steely gaze with a firm nod.
“I’m ready.”
“Then let us begin,” Aucune continued without missing a beat. “Lesson one: the true individual defines who she is and makes her own destiny. Laws, creeds, beliefs, ideals: these may all be significant elements of her identity, but she alone chooses to make them so. Ultimately, to achieve your true potential your will alone must define who you are. Your thinking. Your actions. Your very identity.”
“This simple creed is the central tenet of our doctrine, the foundation of all the Order’s doctrine, and I will drill it into your mind again and again until likewise it is the centerfold of your identity. Master your will, and you can master anything. Master your will, and you will be unstoppable.”
Derpy’s eyes scrunched shut in concentration as she considered Aucune’s words until a thought struck her.
“Wait, don’t I already define who I am? That’s what my identity is, right, I mean… it’s me isn’t it?” The unicorn sighed and shook his head, giving Derpy a knowing, sympathetic look, as if he’d already known she’d ask this question.
“If only it were that simple Miss Hooves. You are right in saying that your identity is who you are, but that does not mean that you define it, not yet at least. Most ponies these days do not define who they are, and it is for this reason that exceptional individuals are such a rarity. The pressures of our culture and society, its standards, stigmas, and expectations for each and every pony, these all too often end up determining who they become. In modern Equestria, there is no greater crutch that ponies rely upon to define themselves than the cutie mark.”
“Wait, what?” Derpy blinked in surprise. “What’s so bad about cutie marks?”
“Nothing inherently. In and of themselves cutie marks are merely an amusing, albeit completely unnecessary, novelty of our biological makeup. But they have become a curse to ponykind, a crutch to some and handicap to others, on account of the degree to which ponies disgustingly revere them.” Bitter contempt seeped from Aucune’s words as he continued along with his diatribe, steadily becoming more and more agitated as he spoke.
“Most ponies believe they know the full extent of their abilities when they receive their cutie mark, as though it is some sort of tablet with the roadmap to life etched into it. Even worse, others often get a cutie mark whose meaning eludes them and everypony else, or may not even obtain one until years after most of their peers. These ponies behave lost, unable to seize or even know their own destinies since they are so latched to the idea that their cutie marks must determine it for them, and the worst part of it all is that everypony else treats them exactly the same, leaving these poor, misguided souls behind to wither on the vine. It’s insane, immoral, and an injustice plain and simple!”
By now Aucune’s face had contorted into a grotesque visage, with nostrils flared, lips curled into a fierce scowl and eyes flashing with a wild look about them. When he noticed his walleyed companion staring at him with a concerned look, the unicorn’s raging countenance left as quickly as it’d come and he hastily regained his cool composure.
“My apologies, Miss Hooves. Sometimes my passions get the better of me.”
“It’s alright,” Derpy said, giving a halfhearted chuckle. Her unsettled demeanor did not escape Aucune’s notice, however.
“You’re troubled. Not by my tone, but by my words, yes?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Well… honestly, yeah. Cutie marks are a part of what makes us special and unique, aren’t they? At least, that’s what my mom always told me.”
“And did your mother ever tell you what your cutie mark means, Miss Hooves? Has anypony ever been able to tell you what fate has in store for a pony with bubbles for a cutie mark?” That set Derpy off: she could take just about any manner of crap flung her way, but she’d be mauled by a manticore before she let someone insinuate that her mama had somehow failed in her parenting.
“For your information, no, she didn’t, but you know what she did tell me? She told me that it’d mean whatever it needs to mean, that with hard work, patience, and persistence it would all eventually become clear to me, and you know what else? I believed her then and to this day I still do, always have and always will!” she snapped, glaring daggers back at Aucune as though daring him to take another shot at her mother. To her shock, however, Aucune only returned her glare with an amused expression, quietly chortling as a wry grin spread from one corner of his mouth to the other.
“Well then, in that case Miss Hooves I must say that your mother sounds like she was far wiser than most. That’s roughly the Order’s doctrine in a nutshell regarding cutie marks.”
“Yeah. Sure it is.” She was still eyeing Aucune, though admittedly his response had taken her aback just a bit. If he was just trying to string her along, he certainly didn’t show it; everything about his face and tone looked and sounded sincere.
“Believe me, if your mother was wrong I certainly wouldn’t hesitate to tell you as much. What I’m telling you is the truth. Remember what I said before Miss Hooves: truly great individuals define who they are. The logical conclusion that we must derive from this then is that the pony must define the cutie mark, rather than be defined by the cutie mark.”
“Truly meaningful marks in this world are made only by those who carve their own paths, make their own choices, and choose their own fates. The Order has strictly adhered to this philosophy for over a thousand years, and it is our primary mission to spread our knowledge to as many of our Equestrian brethren as possible, that they too might unlock their full potential and achieve all that they really are capable of. Did your mother not want the same for you, to be the best you could be?”
Derpy’s expression softened now that Aucune’s meaning was clear, but her mind remained troubled as she mulled over his question. She had never doubted that her mother had wanted her to do her very best, but she’d often wondered over the years just how she was supposed to do that. Too many times Derpy had found herself lost, aimless and without purpose, without the sense that she was doing anything of import or to the best of her ability for that matter. She didn’t need much; all she wanted was to be somepony that mattered and made a difference, however small.
Could this really be the way to become what she’d always wanted to be, the mare her mother had dreamed she’d become one day? Should she decide what her cutie mark meant herself rather than keep waiting and waiting and waiting day after day, month after month, and year after year for its meaning to finally reveal itself?
“Do you really think this is what she’d want?” she asked.
“That’s impossible to say Miss Hooves. I never knew your mother. But I think she’d want you to be happy, and if there was even the slightest chance that this path could lead you to that happiness I think she’d want you to take it. And believe me, in your case there is far more than a slight chance that you’ll realize even your wildest dreams and so much more, if you’ll only follow my lead. Trust me, Miss Hooves. Trust the Order. But most importantly, trust yourself.”
‘Trust yourself’… could it really be that simple? Is that what I’ve been missing all these years, what I forgot and lost after she… left me?
“OK,” Derpy breathed, “nothing else has worked, so maybe it really is up to me to decide who I am. Whatever it takes, whatever you need me to do, I’ll do it, even if it kills me.”
“Then our first lesson is at an end,” Aucune declared, evidently pleased with Derpy’s response. “Get some food and rest, Miss Hooves; you’ve taken the first step toward completing Innere Eroberung, but the next steps are going to push you to your limits, beyond anything you’ve ever endured. If you’re still with me at the end of it all then you may yet reclaim your fate. But remember, fundamentally that’s all up to you: true success will only come when you alone seize your destiny. Good day then, Miss Hooves. I look forward to our time working together in these coming weeks.”
“Faster, Miss Hooves, faster!” Aucune shouted.
Derpy panted, her lungs burning and legs pumping furiously.
“Come on, pick up the pace Miss Hooves, only four laps to go. Finish strong, finish strong!”
She was galloping as fast as she could along a makeshift track that lay in the vale directly adjacent to Die Schmiede, as the Order’s fortress was called by its inhabitants.
“Go!”
Stop.
“Harder!”
Lighten up.
“Faster!”
Slow down.
“Finish!”
Quit.
“No!” Derpy blared between raspy breaths. She blocked out everything that her mind and body were telling her as best as she could, yet the burning, unbearable agony coursing through every inch of her body threatened to overwhelm her any second now.
No! Won’t quit. Won’t stop. Won’t give up! Not until I’ve finished what I started. I decide when I’m done. I determine when I’ve had enough. I define my limits. I have to finish. I must! Just… one… more… lap!
Somehow Derpy mustered enough energy to push through the final lap, and an excruciating moment later barreled across the finish line where Aucune stood waiting. As she began slowing down to a trot, the exhausted mare stumbled and lost her footing, tripping over her own forelegs and crashing headfirst into the ground in a spectacularly inept display. A lone feeble groan escaped her lips; her pride hurt, but not nearly as much as the rest of her body, and at this point she was just too tired to care anymore. After a merciful moment of respite, Aucune made his way over to where Derpy lay sprawled on the ground like a squashed bug.
“Very good Miss Hooves, you managed to best your previous time by just over 30 seconds, a commendable improvement indeed.” Derpy smiled weakly, still too bushed to bother picking herself up. “However,” Aucune continued, grimacing, “counting that last spill, you also had two more, um, mishaps than last time as well. I would say you had three more, but I’m still debating whether or not to count that half-a-lap you spent running backwards as one of them, seeing as you were still technically upright and in motion. Still not even entirely sure how you ended up like that in the first place.”
“To be honest, neither am I,” Derpy added, forcing a sheepish grin. But Aucune’s demeanor only grew more serious, his frown deepening and furrowing his eyebrows as though he were appraising some perplexing riddle.
“This is serious Miss Hooves, very serious. In spite of very good progress in your physical conditioning up to this point, you’ve been simultaneously getting clumsier and less coordinated in practically every activity lately. I’ve believed from the start that your bumbling movements and behavior are intrinsically linked to a far more complex underlying problem, and now I’m certain of it. The good news is that the more we know about this problem, the easier it will be to identify, confront, and master it later on. That won’t be for quite some time still, but carefully consider what I have told you; after all, it will be up to you and you alone to wrestle with your demons when the time is right. Now come along, pull yourself up; it’s time for your afternoon studies.”
Aucune extended his right hoof towards Derpy which she gratefully accepted, helping her up from her rather awkward position. The two began making their way back to Die Schmiede, trotting along a narrow cobblestone path in silence. It wasn’t an unpleasant silence; both ponies were simply lost in their own respective thoughts. It’d actually become something of a habit of theirs, and one that Derpy truthfully didn’t mind; she found the quiet moments between her lessons to actually be very helpful and altogether pleasant, a brief but valuable interval to meditate upon whatever happened to be on her mind. Usually she mulled over Aucune’s lessons, but at the moment she was too exhausted for that and simply took the time to enjoy her surroundings.
There wasn’t a single cloud in the azure blue sky, and the sun smiled down upon the multicolored peaks of the surrounding Crystal Mountains, whose snow-covered crests glistened beneath its blazing rays. The dozens of crystal boulders that dotted the vale, despite having no luster themselves just like the mountains, constituted a magnificent chaos of colors, giving the vale a truly unearthly, stunning appearance. Even Die Schmiede itself, in spite of its imposing presence, exuded an almost indescribable warmth on this sunny day. No doubt the castle’s beautiful surroundings certainly augmented its appearance, but Derpy couldn’t help but feel there was more to it than that.
It’s funny… just over a month ago I was still delivering mail for the Ponyville Post Office. Now look at me: out here in the middle of who knows where, doing a thousand things I’d never dreamed of, not in a million years, not for me! But what’s most surprising of all is, well… this place is finally starting to feel like home. These ponies, they’ve got something real special here, and I can’t believe how much they’ve let me share in it. They don’t treat me like I’m just deadweight, but one of them, an equal.
But even with all that, why do I still feel like deadweight? I can’t put my hoof on it, but something’s definitely missing. Maybe Mister Magique is right; maybe it all has to do with whatever my demons are; maybe that’s what my problem is. Whatever it is, I’ve got to take care of it soon. I’ve been bumbling through my workouts and chores more and more, and I can’t even stay focused in my lessons. I want to get better, but my body refuses, fighting me every step of the way; I want to learn more, but my mind just wanders to and fro these days.
What’s happening to me? I mean, if I’m really making progress like Mister Magique says, then why does it feel like I’m taking two steps back every day. I feel stronger, I feel smarter, but everything’s going the same as before, if not worse. Something’s either blocking me, or there’s something missing or… horsefeathers, I don’t even know anymore! Maybe I’ve overlooked something.
As they entered the castle through the postern gate Derpy's mind began to wander. Aucune had certainly not been exaggerating when he’d described Innere Eroberung as “rigorous”. If anything, it was an understatement. The last month had hooves down easily been the most brutal and regulated in Derpy’s life.
Each day, with the exception of Sundays, had the same fixed, strict schedule. Mornings began at 6:30 when Aucune would barge into Derpy’s cell and bark, “Wake up Miss Hooves!” It hadn’t exactly been that effective the first few days, but after a couple of nasty incidents involving buckets of ice-cold water Derpy had quickly learned to respond to Aucune’s calls the first time. After a light breakfast, the next two hours were spent in a strength and conditioning session. Aucune would run Derpy through dozens of different free weight exercises, stretches, and calisthenics, mixing things up day by day in order to maintain muscle confusion. Aside from the free weights, which Derpy still had a little trouble keeping balanced, she’d actually gotten pretty good at most of her strength exercises, although she’d certainly done far more wing-ups by now than she’d ever hoped to do in her life.
This morning workout was followed up with an academic interlude, starting with philosophy studies, during which Derpy and Aucune pored over the works of various metaphysicians and political philosophers. They combed through everything from Maristotle’s Metaphysics to Coltfucian Ethics imported from Griffonia, and it was a blast. Derpy had thought going in that these sessions would be a bore at best, but by now they were one of the highlights of her day. Certainly she’d never expected that studying all these myriad philosophies, trying to understand the subtle but very important similarities and differences between them, could be as fascinating and enjoyable as it’d proven to be. Unfortunately, with each passing day it was proving harder and harder to stay awake and alert following her morning exercises (even more unfortunate, Aucune usually remedied this with a sharp thwack to the head with a yardstick he kept close at hoof), but besides her inconvenient fatigue and despite the complex and challenging issues they regularly tackled, Derpy generally enjoyed philosophy very much.
After philosophy came lunch; thankfully, unlike breakfast, Derpy could manage to take larger portions since she didn’t have any workouts immediately afterwards, although she was still pretty limited in her options. With food stores almost always limited if not strained on account of the castle’s remoteness, most meals at Die Schmiede were simple ones that could easily be cooked in bulk quantities. Lunch itself was usually hay sandwiches and a stew of some kind, but Derpy didn’t really mind, she certainly wasn’t a mare of refined tastes when it came to food (except of course for a certain pastry she constantly craved). She did wish that she could eat with the Order’s other members, but Aucune insisted that they dine in private to discuss her ongoing progress. It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy Aucune’s company, she just wanted to get to know some of the others more. Still, Derpy knew that their lunchtime talks were important, so she put up with it, no complaints. At least she got to fill up while listening to Aucune go on about whatever he was fixated on discussing for the day.
The next activity had early on been the most dangerous of Derpy’s studies: science. The material itself wasn’t that difficult; Aucune spent the first half simply lecturing on the chemical properties of various chemicals that were, as he put it, “regularly utilized by the Order”. The second half, however, was another story; after Aucune was finished lecturing, Derpy had to apply what she’d just learned, with Aucune’s supervision. Needless to say, they’d quickly discovered that Derpy and volatile chemicals did not mix well. It only took two near death experiences in the first week to convince Aucune to adjust his lessons to suit Derpy’s needs, and ever since then he’d handled any dangerous materials in class personally, much to his student’s relief.
In spite of her unsurprising failure at handling the chemicals they worked with, Derpy was still a little taken aback by the risky applications the Order apparently had for all of them. The chemicals, along with most of the compounds and mixtures that Aucune prepared in class, were usually hazardous to some extent. With the exception of a few mixtures with medicinal properties, most days Aucune would cook up something like a corrosive acid, a deadly poison, or some explosive that could range from a minor charge to an extremely volatile and powerful compound. It was a very captivating period, and Aucune’s demonstrations were always cool to watch, but all the same Derpy still sometimes wondered about these lessons. Just how exactly did the Order expect her to apply what she was learning in the real world?
Cardio and flight exercises came after science, a period that Derpy had found increasingly frustrating as of late. Derpy had always been an awkward flier, so it was understandable that she’d struggle with the flight laps and air obstacle course that she had to contend with every day. Lately, however, she’d been getting worse at her cardio as well; each day she suffered more trips, collisions, and spills. Granted Aucune had been steadily increasing the distances she ran, but this wasn’t fleeing from a gang of inmates in a crowded mess hall, this was galloping around a feathering track for Celestia’s sake! Half the time she felt like a three ring circus out there with some of the mishaps that took place, and no matter how hard she thought about it, she just couldn’t make sense of it.
Ughhhh, c’mon Derpy, get it together! What’s done is done. Just shake it off and try to finish the day strong.
Derpy’s train of thought came to an abrupt end as she realized they’d reached Aucune’s cell, where all her academic lessons were held, with the exception of Aucune’s science demonstrations of course. While his quarters were about twice as large as Derpy’s, it was also considerably more furnished, packed from wall to wall with shelves of books, scrolls, and all manner of strange and outlandish objects, rounded out by his desk which sat in the middle of the room. This too was cluttered with a hodgepodge of books, maps, letters, quills, inkwells, and just about any other doohickey imaginable, but it always seemed that Aucune knew just where to find whatever he needed at the moment. It was all really a bit homey for Derpy; she wasn’t the most organized pony herself, so she actually felt quite comfortable and at home in the familiar organized chaos of the cell.
“All right Miss Hooves, let’s pick up where we left off yesterday in the midst of the Second Unification War,” Aucune said as he took a seat at his desk while Derpy took her own across from him. “Before we move on to the Battle of Galloptaea, let’s review what we covered last time. Now then, how was the Siege of Appaloosica resolved?”
“Ummm… hold on, just give me a minute,” Derpy appealed, recalling the previous day’s history lesson. “The, uh, the Unicorn Supremacists conquered Appaloosica, right?”
“No,” Aucune replied, “the siege of the earth pony capital was broken by a relief force sent by the Equine League, the emergency alliance created by the three pony tribes to deal with the Unicorn Supremacist threat.”
“Oh… right.” Derpy’s ears flattened and her cheeks flushed red with embarrassment.
C’mon, that was an easy one, and you just covered it yesterday! Focus Derpy, focus!
“How was the siege broken?” Aucune continued.
“The… pegasi forces created a feint along the Supremacist’s flanks while the unicorns and earth ponies broke the Supremacist’s center.”
“Wrong again Miss Hooves. The unicorns and earth ponies, along with a number of the pegasi forces, performed a feint attack directly in front of the Supremacist’s center while the remaining pegasi achieved double envelopment through a successful pincer movement, effectively breaking the siege and virtually destroying the Supremacist’s forces in the process.”
Horsefeathers, I knew that, I know I did! C’mon, focus, focus, focus!
“Which pegasi forces achieved the double envelopment?”
OK, you got this, just focus Derpy, focus.
The pegasus searched the deepest, darkest nooks and crannies of her mind, looking for the answer she just knew was there somewhere. After a moment’s recollection, she thought she had it.
“The lancers of Clan Charger, led by Commander Bold Charger, achieved the envelopment,” Derpy stated with confidence. To her dismay, Aucune sighed and shook his head.
“I’m sorry Miss Hooves, but that too is incorrect. While Commander Bold Charger was both the leader of Pegasaea as well as the relief forces of the Equine League sent to Appaloosica, he and his clan remained with the bulk of the relief forces in order to convince the Supremacists that the main attack was being directed at their center. It was Clan Kicker, led in two separate detachments by the twin ephors Sleet and Snow Kicker, which achieved the double envelopment. While Clan Kicker had only half the strength of Clan Charger at the time, Sleet and Snow Kicker were the greatest tacticians of Pegasaea in their day, and both formulated and executed the attack. By darkening their clansponies traditionally blood red armor, they were able to move their small detachments in the middle of the night prior to the dawn attack undetected by the Supremacist forces, and achieved total surprise along both flanks in the morning once the Supremacists had committed most of their forces towards the main body of the Equine League. The Supremacist forces besieging Appaloosica were wiped out, and the resulting victory shattered their influence among the Western pony tribes, setting the stage for the Equine League’s invasion of the Supremacist’s strongholds among the Eastern pony tribes, which would culminate in the forthcoming Battle of Galloptaea.”
“Ah feather me, I knew that, I swear I did! I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, I just… can’t focus. I’m sorry Mister Magique, I’m trying, really I am!”
Aucune only raised a hoof, silently beseeching the frustrated Derpy to calm down. He furrowed his brow and stroked his goatee for a few moments in deep contemplation before speaking again.
“I know you’re trying your hardest Miss Hooves, believe me, I do, but it is rather curious isn’t it? You’ve consistently shown nothing but enthusiasm for your history lessons; the same goes for your philosophy and science studies as well. Your mind is clearly willing, more than ready to be molded, and yet… something is there, blocking your way. If you’ll pardon me Miss Hooves, I think we’ll end our lessons early for the day. I need some time to consider this matter. You can complete your cool down flight in the inner ward, and you should then have some downtime before your chores later this evening. You’re dismissed.”
“But I-,” Derpy began to protest, but decided against it. She truly loved Aucune’s history lessons; in fact, they were probably her favorite academic out of the three they covered. Maybe it was just because she’d always been a sucker for a good story, especially when the stories were true, and Aucune had this way of making even the most mundane events in pony history captivating. But if he thought that there was no point in continuing their lessons for the day, then Derpy had full faith that there must be a good reason for it and so let the matter drop.
“OK, I’ll be in the yard if you need me. Have a good night Mister Magique,” she said. As she turned to leave his cell, she stopped as a thought struck her. “Before I go, do you by any chance know who’ll be supervising my chores tonight?”
“I believe you’ll be working with Tiny Taste tonight, Miss Hooves.”
Derpy flinched at the news, growing pale as a wave of dread swept over her.
Oh feather me, that’s just perfect.
After her cool down flight Derpy had opted to go back to her cell for a quick nap before her evening chores. Being part of the Ordo Extraordinarii’s remote, close knit community meant that every pony had to contribute their fair share of work to keep Die Schmiede maintained and running smoothly. While Derpy, occupied as she was with her training, certainly didn’t partake in a full day’s work on castle upkeep like most members, she still had to do an hour of chores every evening, which varied day by day. This was not only a part of her duties to the Order, but it also helped her learn more about the community and ponies living at Die Schmiede, and for that she was quite grateful. What she was not grateful for were the chores themselves.
By the end of the day, after all of her studies and training, Derpy’s body was just about ready to shut down after a nice, hot meal. However, there were always the chores left to do before the day’s activities were truly all said and done. The work itself wasn’t that taxing, and it wasn’t that Derpy was lazy or anything; it was just that when she was tired, she was far more prone to have goof-ups. Some chores were easy enough, like sweeping the castle halls or shoveling snow. But others were a bit more troublesome.
Sometimes Derpy got placed with the castle weather ponies, who had to clear any rogue clouds from Die Schmiede’s air space; it always seemed that when Derpy was around the chances of somepony getting zapped by a stray lightning bolt were significantly greater. Other days she helped collect firewood in nearby forests, but the other woodsponies had quickly learned to keep their distance after she’d lost her grip on an axe haft and nearly decapitated poor Blue Birch. But out of all her chores, there was none Derpy dreaded more than kitchen duty. Luna on high, Derpy hated kitchen duty!
Derpy had always had trouble, to say the least, in the kitchen, so she usually just ended up eating out, picking up something on her way home, or helping herself to something that her housemate Carrot Top had cooked up. Here, however, she was usually guaranteed kitchen duty at least once a week, which was supervised by Tiny Taste, the castle’s chief cook.
Tiny Taste was generally an agreeable, if somewhat uncouth, fellow by most anypony’s measure, with his booming voice, jovial personality, and crass sense of humor. It seemed he’d done his best his whole life to make his name as ironic as possible; by Derpy’s measure he was almost as big as Big McIntosh, but had about twice as much bulk around his barrel as the former, and with his massive appetite to boot, his taste was anything but tiny. All things considered he was one of the more casual, easygoing figures in the castle, and there really wasn’t any pony there he couldn’t get along with easily. But then he’d met the bane of his kitchen.
The first time Derpy had kitchen duty, the then carefree earth pony had directed her to help cook up some grilled cheese sandwiches for the Order’s dinner. After stepping out for a minute or two to grab some ingredients, he’d come back to find that three of his stoves were now on fire and his kitchen assistants were in a frenzied state trying to put them out, which they’d finally managed to do before the whole kitchen went up in flames. The second time she’d worked with Tiny dinner had ended up being served an hour late and half of it was burnt, including dishes that she hadn’t even helped prepare. By that point he’d begun to suspect that Derpy was not necessarily fit for the kitchen. The third time Tiny had tried to break his streak of bad luck with the walleyed mare by having her simply clean the utensils and cookware used to prepare dinner; she’d ending up damaging or destroying almost every single one. Every time she stepped hoof in his kitchen it seemed that something was bound to go wrong, and at this point the hapless cook was just a little paranoid, and even grew nervous at the mere mention of her name.
If anything, Derpy certainly didn’t enjoy being in the kitchen any more than Tiny enjoyed having her there; she felt terrible any time she burnt a dish or some part of his kitchen, and most of the time she had as little a notion as to just exactly how it’d happened as Tiny did. If they’d both had their way, she’d just stay out of there entirely; unfortunately Dämons Hengst and Aucune insisted that Derpy get to know and grow accustomed to every part of Die Schmiede’s community in her chores, and so she still had to do kitchen duty on a regular basis, much to Tiny’s and her own dismay.
The bells of the castle clock tolled six times, stirring Derpy from her troubled slumber. She hadn’t really gotten that much rest in the extra hour she’d had with the early dismissal from her studies; she’d just been too fixated on the impending disaster she was sure the next hour in the kitchens would prove to be yet again.
Ah well, no use in putting it off or avoiding it. Gonna happen one way or another, so might as well get it over with.
Trudging over to a small wooden basin in the corner of her cell, Derpy splashed a few hooffuls of cold water on her face, wiping some of the grime and sweat away along with the last remnants of sleep still lingering upon her. Giving her mane and tail a few good shakes and splaying her wings wide as she stretched and gave a great yawn, Derpy hopped in place a few times, now fully awake and alert.
C’mon Derps, you got this, no problemo. It’s just an hour in the kitchen and then you’re done for the day. What’s the worst that could happen?
…
…
…
You know what, I’m not even gonna answer that, cause no good can possibly come of it. Let’s just get this over with.
“Alright ya sorry lot, we got a lot of ponies to feed tonight so let’s get cracking!”
Tiny Taste barked out orders in his thick brogue to the dozen ponies assembled in a line before him serving as that evening’s kitchen assistants. He walked down the line, assigning each one a different task like a sergeant giving orders to his cadets at boot camp.
“OK, let’s see… soup n’ server, soup n’ server, sandwiches n’ dishes, sandwiches n’ server, soup n’ server, soup n’ dishes, soup n’ dishes, sandwiches n’ server, sandwiches n’ dishes, soup n’ dishes, sandwiches n’ server, sandwiches n’- aw shove a broomstick up me arse, not you!”
Tiny’s good mood disappeared the moment he laid eyes on the dreaded pegasus standing before him in his precious (and now heavily imperiled) kitchen. Derpy in turn gave a weak smile and timidly waved back to him.
“Heheh, hey Tiny, long time no see.”
“Please tell me you’re only here to inquire what I might be serving tonight?”
“Wish I could.”
“Ohhhhh… perfect, that’s just bucking perfect.” Tiny shuddered, his face turning pale as the endless list of potential catastrophes ranged through his head. Taking a few deep breaths he noticed the rest of his assistants staring at the two, considerably nervous themselves after hearing about or witnessing Derpy’s by now infamous exploits in the kitchen.
“Well, what’re you lot staring at, get to work now!” he roared, sending them all flying to and fro as he desperately sought to come up with a solution to this unforeseen dilemma. Tiny’s eyes darted about the kitchen, scanning every inch in search of something the bumbling mare might not destroy. To be sure this was no easy task; Tiny’s kitchen was a jumbled mess, its layout perplexing to most ponies, and on top of that, he wasn’t sure at this point that there was even anything Derpy couldn’t destroy in it. Still, he knew his kitchen like the back of his hoof and was convinced there had to be something in there that even Derpy could handle. After all, as a tried-and-true member of the Ordo Extraordinarii, he had to be able to place faith in even the most difficult of cadets, no matter how much they struggled not to… burn anything.
“Alright, let’s find a place for ya lass. Hmmm, maybe… no that won’t work. How ‘bout… wait, nope, nope, definitely not that! Ummm… wait… wait, that just might… yes, that’ll do it! Right this way Hooves!”
Tiny nudged Derpy over to a countertop covered with several large pots filled with a runny, brown mixture.
“Alright Hooves, pay very, very close attention to what I’m about to tell ya. This is oatmeal for tomorrow’s breakfast. Dry oatmeal to be exact. Ya know what’s great about dry oatmeal Hooves?” Derpy shook her head.
“No cooking, that’s what! No heating, no boiling, no simmering, no nothing! All ya have to do is add oatmeal and milk, and stir, and wouldn’t ya know it, step one is already good n’ done. The only thing I need ya ta do is stir, so jus’ keep stirring till it’s nice n’ thick, OK? Tell me ya can handle this lass.”
After a minute of mulling it over in her head, Derpy gave a spirited nod.
“You bet Tiny, I’ll stir that oatmeal real good!” she declared. Anyone else would’ve probably been insulted to some extent by Tiny’s plain distrust and menial assignment, but given her own track record in the kitchen Derpy was more than happy to take Tiny up on his offer. After all, there was nothing that they both wanted more than for her to just pass through his kitchen without leaving behind a trail of destruction in her wake.
Eyeing her warily a minute longer, Tiny gave an unintelligible grunt and returned the nod, satisfied with Derpy’s response, and left her to her task while he dealt with the rest of the dinner preparations. Grabbing a wooden spoon with her teeth, Derpy hopped to it and began her work in earnest, hoping that the rest of the evening would be nothing but uneventful.
Sometimes, though, one can only hope.
“So how’s your latest project going? Been quite the hoofful so far by the looks of things.”
“It’s admittedly been a complex and sometimes frustrating process, but don’t let her errors fool you; I assure you we’re right on schedule. She wants what we have to offer and wants it bad. The trick now is simply figuring out how to tap her potential and unlock it; it’s like there’s a dam within her soul at the headwaters of her ability. All that’s left is to tear that dam down, and then… well, everything will change for her, I just know it. I wish sometimes I could do it myself, but it is her hurdle to overcome and hers alone.”
The violet earth pony sitting across from Aucune snorted, her guffaw adding to the chorus of hungry, jabbering ponies packing the great hall. Dozens of ponies sat at the single long, oak trestle table filling the great space. While there was certainly more than enough room for at least two more within the hall, the Order had employed one common table in its halls for centuries, the idea being that it helped build and reinforce the members’ camaraderie and sense of equality. Even the most senior officers and veterans sat there and frequently mingled at mealtimes with the less experienced members. Tonight, however, most of the upper echelon at Die Schmiede had congregated at the far end, near where Dämons Hengst normally sat at the head of the table. His seat was noticeably vacant, but it was not unusual for him to dine alone in his quarters, and in any case his subordinates didn’t seem bothered by his absence; at the moment, they were all engaged in a spirited discussion.
“Did something I say amuse you Sister Storm?” Aucune asked, leveling a cold gaze directly at Storm Spirit. If she noticed, it certainly didn’t bother her seeing as she only continued chuckling.
“Of course it was something you said! Oh you and your metaphors; ‘dam at the headwaters of her soul’ indeed. That’s pretty, real damn pretty sir. Guess it’s not really surprising coming from you; you’ve always had a penchant for the dramatic, and before you ask, yes, it has always amused me. As for the newbie, she’s nice enough sure, but as far as I’m concerned she’s just a klutz, plain and simple. If it’s taking her this long to show any concrete signs of improvement, then I say she’s not worth it. She’s just a waste of our time, and given the current state of things, time is an increasingly precious commodity we can’t afford to lose, much less waste. What do you think Flix?”
Storm Spirit turned to a cerulean pegasus seated next to her who was idly flipping through a small book of poetry. She glanced up from her reading, meeting Aucune and Storm’s gazes with a somewhat annoyed look.
“You know, I never do get much reading done before meals these days,” she bemoaned.
“Ah come on, you’ve got your nose buried in those books of yours 24/7 and you know it!” Storm teased. “Besides, I know you were listening, so c’mon, what do you think of the newbie? Think she’s worth keeping around?”
“Of course she is,” she replied without a moment’s hesitation. “Derpy’s a sweet girl who’s just had a lot of misfortune for a long time and nopony to help her pick herself up out of the mire of it all. The Order’s primary function is to offer any aid that it can to those who’ve never really been given the chance to be all they can be; we’d be betraying our greatest duty if we just left her hanging high and dry. Besides, she’s hardly the worst trainee we’ve ever had. I’ve seen plenty far weaker and slower than her who’ve gone on to become valuable members of the Order.”
“It’s not a question of whether or not we should’ve offered her aid, I’d never suggest we turn away any pony, you know that! But it is a question of practicality; we did offer her our services, she’s been training for a month, and as of now she has yet to show that much promise. When you get down to it, it’s simple economics really; the cost is simply outweighing the benefit is all. With all due respect sir, you could and should be focusing your efforts on far more pressing and worthwhile projects instead of this bumbling airhead.”
“At ease, Storm, at ease. I understand your feelings; you’re a practical-minded pony and always have been, and I appreciate that particular quality about you. Your practicality certainly has its uses and benefits in the right times and places. But it also oftentimes blinds you to the bigger picture, the qualities and characteristics of a pony that aren’t readily apparent on the surface, and therefore you must likewise understand why I cannot agree with your position and respect my decision. And don’t you worry about how I manage my time; her studies have not interfered with our work, and tomorrow we’ll-”
Aucune was suddenly cut off by the arrival of Tiny Taste and half a dozen other ponies, all pushing carts loaded to the brim with large pots of bubbling soup and steaming hot platters of sandwiches.
“Suppertime, get it while it’s hot!” Tiny bellowed, his voice somehow drowning out every other pony in the hall. Everyone suspended their conversations and gave Tiny their full attention, the tired ponies’ mouths watering at the smell of a hot meal. Tiny and the servers began distributing pots and platters all along the table. While his servers stayed behind at different points to help ladle soup for the rest of the Order, Tiny soon found himself at the far end of the table waiting on Aucune and the rest of the officers congregated around him.
“Hello Brother Tiny, glad to see you so early tonight. What have you cooked up for us this evening?” Aucune inquired.
“Jus’ some vegetable soup and grilled hay and cheese sandwiches sir, nothin’ all that fancy,” Tiny grunted, hefting the last of the pots over to the table.
“I don’t suppose there’s any chance us officers might be able to take seconds tonight, hmmm?” Storm Spirit asked in her most innocent, endearing voice. Tiny however wasn’t having any of it.
“Not a chance Storm, ya know how it is; gotta ration our supplies as best we can. We’re not exactly living in the lap of luxury up here ya know?”
“Aw come on, one extra sandwich isn’t going to starve us out! Besides, it is a certain somepony’s birthday today,” Storm implored, flashing the best puppy-dog eyes she possibly could. Tiny only snorted and shook his head.
“Ya mean like ‘ow it was your birthday a month ago? Or the two weeks before that? Sorry lass, you’re not pulling a fast one on me tonight.”
Storm Spirit grumbled a few choice words and caved, resigning herself to the meal that lay before her as the savvy cook kept snickering.
“Dinner looks lovely tonight Tiny, thank you very much for preparing it,” the cerulean pegasus quietly commended.
“Aw shucks Miss Lightning Flicker, it’s nothin’ really. Weren’t all that hard to make in all honesty, but thankee lass, I appreciate it, ‘specially comin’ from ya.” A bright scarlet hue flushed over Tiny’s cheeks.
“Tiny, judging by your prompt arrival this evening, may I presume that your activities in the kitchen were without incident?” Aucune asked.
“You bet sir, everything went jus’ fine an’ dandy!” Tiny beamed.
“Very good. Uh, where may I ask is Miss Hooves?”
“Oh she’s back in the kitch-” Tiny’s face paled as he realized his terrible mistake.
Oh buck me with a baguette.
“Would ya excuse me for a moment sir, I jus’ remembered I forgot… something. Be right back!” Tiny trotted for the great hall’s exit at a hurried gait.
“Huh, wonder what that was all about?” Storm Spirit remarked through a mouthful of hay sandwich.
“Indeed, that was rather… curious,” Aucune agreed.
As soon as he cleared the great hall Tiny hurried as fast as he could back to the kitchen, by no means an easy feat for a pony his size. His chest puffed as he pumped his legs furiously, a wave of anxiety sweeping over him.
Sun, moon, and stars how could I have been so stupid? I left her alone, ALONE in my kitchen!
Truth be told dinner preparations really had been uneventful. Tiny had managed to get everything prepared in a timely manner with the rest of his assistants, all while keeping a close eye on Derpy every few minutes. Every time he’d glanced back, there she was in her isolated corner, just stirring oatmeal like he’d told her to. But just because nothing catastrophic had happened when he was around certainly didn’t mean Tiny trusted Derpy alone in his kitchen, and he cursed himself for such a foolish oversight. He’d never left her alone there for so long, and he shuddered to think what terrible things she might have wrought in his absence.
Well, it might not be so bad. There are five other ponies in there, so maybe nothin’s happened after all. Yeah, that’s it, I bet I’m jus’ making a big fuss over nothin’ at all.
Tiny’s feeble hopes were promptly dashed when a by now all too familiar acrid odor filled his nostrils as he neared the kitchen.
Oh no… so much for hoping. Who am I kiddin’? I don’t even trust her when I’m around!
Dashing the final length Tiny suddenly ran straight into the assistants he’d left behind fleeing in the opposite direction, all of them hysterical as they galloped away from the quite evidently smoking kitchen.
“Run, she did it again!”
“Every pony for himself!”
“How’d she even do it this time? It doesn’t seem physically possible!”
Tiny simply bowled through them, bursting through the kitchen door a second later. Nothing, not even Derpy’s past culinary catastrophes, could have prepared him for what he found.
The countertop was aflame. A closer look made plain that technically the contents of every pot Derpy had been handling were afire, but the growing flames were threatening to spread to the rest of the kitchen. The hapless Derpy was hurriedly dumping a half-filled bucket of water on the blaze, but despite her efforts it only seemed to keep growing in size. Tiny just stood there stunned, a dumbstruck look etched upon his face.
“I can fix this, I can fix this!” Derpy frantically reassured him. Tiny remained frozen in place, his eyes widening and mouth hanging open, completely at a loss for words. As Derpy pitched another bucket of water at the flames she lost her grip on it, and the bucket flew into the fire along with the water, further fueling the rapidly growing flames. Horrified, Derpy desperately scanned the area for another bucket, but failing to find one turned to Tiny, who hadn’t budged.
“Uh, Tiny, I may need just a teensy weensy bit of help; would you by any chance happen to know where I might find another bucket?” Derpy asked as sweetly as she could given the circumstances. Tiny remained fixed in place where he stood, still as a statue.
“Uh… Tiny, you OK?”
Nothing.
“Tiny… hello? Tiny? Tiny? Tiny? Tiny? Tiny? Ti-”
And then all Tartarus broke loose.
Back in the great hall the rest of the castle’s residents were busy eating and mingling amongst themselves. Up and down the common table the chatter and laughter of ponies filled the air. Suddenly, a group of ponies, the rest of that evening’s kitchen assistants, rushed in. The most experienced among them, a pegasus close to the end of his training, trotted over to where Aucune sat near the end of the table.
“Begging your pardon sir, but could I have a moment of your time?”
Aucune turned in good spirits from his cheery table talk with Storm Spirit and Lightning Flicker.
“Of course Cold Front, of course. A fine meal you all prepared this evening, a fine meal indeed; you have my compliments. Now, what can I do for you?”
“Thank you sir, you’re too kind. But there’s a bit of a situation in the kitchen that may require your assistance.”
At those words Aucune dispelled his cheerful countenance and replaced it with a neutral expression, critically eyeing Cold Front.
“A situation? What kind of a situation?”
“Well, you see sir, um, Der-”
All of a sudden an unearthly howl rang out from outside the hall. Everypony’s conversations came to an abrupt halt, their attention drawn to the entrance by the outlandish sound.
“Oh dear,” Aucune uttered under his breath.
A moment later another scream pierced the air, shriller than the first and more full of fear than rage. It was clear that some kind of tumult was fast approaching the great hall, drawing closer by the second… and closer… and closer… and closer. Until-
“AHHHHHHHHHH, I THINK HE’S REALLY TRYING TO KILL ME THIS TIME!!!”
An absolutely terrified Derpy burst into the great hall flying as fast as a thunderbolt. A split second later Tiny Taste followed in her wake, galloping far faster than should’ve been possible for a pony his size and menacingly waving a large, razor-sharp cook’s knife clamped in his mouth, his face a picture of blind fury. Both ponies’ coats appeared to be moderately burnt, and a few of Derpy’s feathers looked singed. The panic-stricken Derpy straightaway flew up into the rafters of the great hall, fleeing into the darkest corner she could find.
“Geth down hurr ya buckin’ menace! Youf plagued mah kitchen one too many times! NOW GETH DOWN HURR RAGHT NOW!!!” Tiny screamed, his words muffled by the knife in his mouth. Everyone stared in alarm and confusion at the bizarre scene unfolding before them. Every pony except one.
“Is something wrong Brother Tiny? Anything I can help you with?” Aucune calmly called out from the end of the table, levelling a steady gaze straight at the raging stallion. Tiny looked away from the rafters to meet Aucune’s gaze, panting from his furious dash.
“Youf can starth by tellin’ thath curse on mah kitchen to come down!” Tiny spat. Aucune shook his head, his expression darkening.
“Tiny, drop the knife,” he commanded. Hearing his stern tone Tiny’s expression seemed to slightly soften and he spat the knife out, kicking it away before trotting to where Aucune sat.
“Thank you Tiny. Now, what seems to be the matter? Has something happened in the kitchen?”
“Ya know very well somethin’ has ya daft- I mean, yes, there is a… delicate situation that requires some attention,” Tiny replied, trying to regain his cool. Aucune motioned to a unicorn sitting nearby.
“Brother Charming, please take the kitchen assistants and see to it that everything is put back to order in the kitchen before the situation gets any further out of hoof.” The unicorn nodded and silently embarked from the great hall with the kitchen staff following his lead. Satisfied, Aucune returned to his meal, quietly draining a spoonful of soup before being interrupted by Tiny.
“Look, is this punishment or somethin’? Is this because I got sloshed that one time in Manehattan with all those recruits? ‘Cause if it is, I swear on me mother’s grave I won’ touch the stuff ever again!” Aucune glanced up from his meal back at Tiny, thoroughly annoyed.
“What on earth are you babbling about now?”
“Jus’ promise me that she won’t step hoof in my kitchen ever again. I’ll do anythin’, I swear!” Tiny pleaded.
“Calm down this instant sir, you’re making a fool of yourself! The situation has been resolved; your kitchen is being put back into order as we speak, and that’s that. There is nothing further to discuss. Now why don’t you get some food in you and then head back to the kitchen to ensure that everything is where it should be?”
“But sir, she-” whatever Tiny was about to say was cut off by Aucune’s sharply smacking him across the face with his forearm.
“She what? She made a mistake; need I remind you we were all recruits once who all made mistakes? She is one of us now, and we owe it to her and ourselves as members of the Ordo Extraordinarii to guide her along her path and forgive a few mistakes along the way. I repeat, there is nothing further to discuss, do you understand?” Tiny seemed to shrink beneath Aucune’s withering gaze, his words piercing the cook like spears, and he hurriedly nodded.
“Aye sir, I understand.” Just like that Aucune’s expression softened and the anger left his eyes.
“Good. If it makes you feel any better, I will not assign her to kitchen duty again until I am certain that she can handle herself in there. Is that a fair compromise?”
“Works for me sir,” Tiny hastily agreed, fully aware he wouldn’t get a better deal than that.
“Very good. You are dismissed Brother Tiny.” Aucune once more resumed his meal where he’d left off as though nothing had happened while the cowed Tiny found a spot at the opposite end of the table far from Aucune and ate his own dinner in silence. Everypony else quickly followed suit and turned back to their own meals and earlier conversations, and a moment later it was as if the unusual episode was already but a distant memory. As soon as everything had returned to normal, Aucune glanced up at the rafters above.
“You can come down now, it’s all right.”
Reluctantly, Derpy peered out from behind one of the rafters.
“A- are you sure?” she asked.
“But of course. Now come on, don’t be shy, nopony’s going to lay a hoof on you.”
Derpy hesitated for another moment but gradually complied, fluttering down in a slow descent to where Aucune sat. She stood by his side, hanging her head in shame.
“I’m sorry Mister Magique for all the trouble I caused,” she muttered, her voice full of remorse.
“It’s quite all right Miss Hooves,” Aucune assured her, his tone completely devoid of anger or animosity.
“I just- I just don’t know what went wrong, I-”
“Miss Hooves, I said it’s all right. There’s no need to dwell further upon the matter; nopony was hurt and the situation is being rectified. All you did was make a mistake. You don’t need to torture yourself over one little mistake.”
“So… so you meant what you said about me being one of you?”
“Indeed I did. Now come on, chin up. Get some food in you and then grab some rest; I imagine all this excitement has been quite taxing.”
Derpy still appeared troubled and glanced down at the ground before her, fiddling with her hooves.
“Would it be OK if I ate in my cell Mister Magique?” she softly requested.
“If that is what you wish then yes, you may take your leave.”
“Thank you sir. Have a good evening.”
“And you as well Miss Hooves, and you as well.”
Derpy turned and trudged out of the hall, a platter of food clamped in her mouth. She gave a forlorn sideways glance at Tiny Taste on her way out, sorry for all the grief she’d caused him, but said nothing and just continued on her way.
“What a mess,” Storm Spirit remarked. “Whatever you’re planning on doing sir, you’d better wrap up her first stage of training ASAP. Until she completes Innere Eroberung any further efforts at building or honing her abilities are just pointless. She can’t make any further progress, not in this state at any rate.”
“Don’t worry, that’s exactly what I intend to do Sister Storm. All that is required before we proceed to the final phase is one last test of her will to determine whether or not she’s ready. If she manages to weather this last trial then we will proceed as planned.”
“The poor thing, I hope she’ll be all right,” Lightning Flicker said. “Please don’t go too hard on her, sir. She’s a sweet thing really, and I’d hate to hear she got hurt doing whatever it is you’ve got up your sleeve.”
“Peace Sister Lightning, it’ll be all right. There’s far more to her than meets the eye and I’ve no doubt that she’s more than capable of surmounting what I’ve got in store for her. She’ll be just fine, and pretty soon she’ll be better than fine, just you wait and see.”
“And what if she fails your trial? What if she is unable to finish Innere Eroberung? What then?” Aucune turned in his seat to find Dämons Hengst standing behind him, staring at him critically as he awaited a response. Aucune returned his critical stare with a resolute look of his own and gave only this in reply.
“She will finish.”
Damn it. Just… damn it.
Derpy laid on her cot staring up at the ceiling at nothing in particular. Her dinner sat off to the side, barely even touched; despite her earlier hunger she didn’t really have much of an appetite at the moment. She’d shed no tears. There were none to be shed. She didn’t feel the old sense of utter worthlessness, but not because she’d smothered it with her usual upbeat, glass-half-full attitude.
Anger. Bitterness. Emptiness. Frustration. Shame. These emotions all engulfed the tormented mare.
It’s not fair, it’s just not fair. It used to be I could just shake these things off, tell myself this was just my lot in life and move on. But now, now it’s not enough. I want to be more, I need to be more, and I just know I can be more; but with that dream comes the pain of going through each day without getting any closer to achieving it. Now, I just don’t want to do anything at all. It all just hurts so much now, all of it, every mistake, slip up, error, and failure, because I know it shouldn’t be like this. It doesn’t have to be like this. But why is it like this? Why?
She lay there perfectly still for a long while, searching for the answer that continued to elude her. But again Derpy came up empty hoofed, and soon gave up altogether. She settled with clearing her mind of her angst and troubles, just letting them all slip away like the ebbing of the tide.
Stay focused Derpy, stay focused and just keep on going. That’s all I can do right now really, just keep going, cause… I gotta believe that what Mister Magique’s said is true. That if I can master my will I can master anything, do anything. As long as I have the will to keep going, I at least have hope. Hope that I’ll find the answers that I’m looking for, the key to unlocking… whatever’s inside me. Just gotta keep going; it’s as simple as that.
With a great heave Derpy sat up, her sore muscles practically groaning from the effort. She still wasn’t in much of a mood for food, but wanted to get her mind off of things and decided that a good preening might do the trick. Believe it or not, despite Derpy’s propensity for causing at least minor property damage whenever she flew, preening was practically second nature to her. As a younger filly she hadn’t always been the best about caring for her wings, but when she’d gotten a job with the Ponyville Post Office it’d quickly become necessitous to develop a regular preening routine with all the flying her job demanded of her. Over time she’d found that routine preening was not only great for keeping her wings in good shape, but was also quite relaxing.
Still, Derpy was plumb tuckered out, and so decided to just cover the basics before hitting the hay. She began by looking over her singed feathers and gingerly tugging with her teeth on those that were too far gone, carefully prying them out. It hurt, but Derpy knew it was better than just leaving them there to cause far more damage to her wings later on, and thankfully there weren’t too many burnt feathers. Soon as she was sure she’d gotten all of them along with any broken from her exercises she turned her attention to the less troublesome feathers that were simply out of place. While in some ways this was a slower, more delicate process than the last one, it wasn’t nearly as painful either. Absorbed in her activity, the day’s bitter setbacks gradually began to recede to the back of her mind. When she was finished Derpy paused to admire her handiwork. Sure it wasn’t the best preening she’d ever given herself, but it was good enough for the time being, and more importantly it’d managed to take her mind off her earlier troubles.
Besides, tomorrow was Sunday, Derpy’s only day off. Well, “day off” in a manner of speaking; while her physical conditioning was suspended on Sundays, she still had a couple of academic sessions with Aucune, during which they mostly had informal discussions concerning her overall studies. Those talks could certainly drag on quite awhile, but Derpy would still have more than enough time to properly bathe and clean her wings at some point during the day. But right now sleep was the only thing on her mind.
OK, all I need is some nice shuteye and a quiet day tomorrow. Yep, that’ll do me some real good; give these tired muscles of mine a rest and I’ll be fresh and ready to get back into the swing of things on Monday!
Tucking herself beneath the blanket on her cot, Derpy swiftly descended into a deep slumber, her blunders behind her and looking forward to sleeping in a good bit on Sunday morning.
“Wake up Miss Hooves!”
The familiar command blared into Derpy’s dreams like a trumpet blast, very much unexpected and most certainly unwanted. Most days she’d automatically respond to the call, but now she did not, a tiny voice in the back of her head telling her, “Keep sleeping, it’s alright, it’s just your imagination that’s all.” The voice kept repeating its calming reassurance and Derpy fell back into her peaceful rest with only the slightest uneasiness.
An icy cold splash justified that uneasiness a moment later. With a yelp Derpy sprang up, startled, confused, and freezing cold.
“Wha- what? What? What? What?” she stammered, her eyes wildly darting about her dark cell.
“I thought you’d learned by now to get up the first time I told you to,” Aucune remarked, standing in the doorway. “Now come along, no time for dawdling.”
“B-but… Sunday?” It was all the genuinely confused Derpy could come up with, soaking wet and shivering there in the dark.
“I’ve revised our Sunday schedule Miss Hooves. I’ll explain momentarily. Now get out from under those covers and follow me; do not make me repeat myself a third time.”
Still shivering, half asleep, and confused as a dog chasing its tail, all Derpy could do was stare back at Aucune with a blank expression and sort of nod dumbly like she knew what in Celestia’s name was going on. Reluctantly she pulled herself out of her cot and gave her mane and tail, coat, and splayed wings a good shake, shaking off as much of the frigid water as she could.
Five minutes later the two were cantering at a brisk pace through Die Schmiede’s postern gate, Derpy struggling to keep up with Aucune as the last lingering traces of sleep wore off.
“What time is it anyway?”
“Just after 6:30 as usual Miss Hooves.”
“Seriously? You’re making me run laps at 6:30 in the morning on Sunday?” Derpy groggily complained through a yawn.
“Not exactly.”
“Flying then. Oh great, that’s gonna be even loads more fun, thank you so very much.” The sarcasm dripped from Derpy’s words. She’d normally never even think of speaking to Aucune this way, or anypony for that matter, but at the moment she was quite frankly too peeved to care. This was Sunday, her one day off in the whole week, and not only had Aucune given her the rudest of awakenings, but now he was taking her out for morning exercises when she could barely see two feet in front of her. As far as she was concerned, she had every right to be mad as a manticore at the moment.
“In a manner of speaking yes, but not around the track. Patience Miss Hooves, you’ll see soon enough,” Aucune replied. Judging by his tone he either hadn’t detected the sarcasm all-too evident in Derpy’s voice, or simply didn’t care (knowing Aucune, Derpy guessed it was the latter).
The two continued cantering along the path towards the mountains enclosing the vale. Derpy had never followed the path this far before, and both wondered where on earth Aucune was taking her and what he could possibly have in store. After a few more minutes they were just about a hundred yards away from the face of a mountain. The sky was just beginning to lighten ever so slightly, the sunrise drawing closer and closer by the minute. In the soft, blue-gray glow of the coming dawn Derpy could just make out what appeared to be a sizeable dark spot on the side of the mountain, like an ink blot on a massive piece of parchment. It took her only a second to process what it was.
A cave? We’re going to a cave? Well… that’s certainly new.
Just like that her anger was replaced with confusion, but she kept following Aucune in silence seeing as there wasn’t much else she could do at the moment. Coming to the mouth of the cave, the two came to a halt.
“I have only one task for you today Miss Hooves. This is the Dark Mile, a narrow passage that starts here and winds almost straight through to the other side of the mountains. Your task is simple: keep flying back and forth from one end of the passage to the other until I say otherwise. Is that clear?” Derpy blinked in surprise, stunned.
“You’re… you’re not serious, are you?” she demanded, unsure if she’d heard him correctly.
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Because this is crazy! I mean, you want me to fly in a pitch black cave when I can barely see or fly straight in even the best of conditions? If you want to just kill me, there’s got to be less cruel or at least far simpler ways to do it than this.” By this point Derpy was on the verge of hysterics, but Aucune just rolled his eyes in annoyance.
“Don’t be so dramatic Miss Hooves, I assure you it’s perfectly safe. There are no crevices or chasms within that you might fall into, there’s only a sparse number of overhanging formations, and it’s completely uninhabited. Granted it’s a bit dimly lit inside, but I’ll be accompanying you every step of the way; I’ve passed through here countless times before, and this way you’ll have a guide and I’ll be able to keep an eye on you. That doesn’t sound so bad now does it?”
No it doesn’t, but you’ve got a fine way of sugarcoating everything. I bet you could make charging a hydra or tussling with a dragon sound like a walk in the park with that silver tongue of yours.
Derpy was about to persist in her protest when Aucune suddenly bolted straight into the mouth of the cave, calling out to her, “You’ve got two choices: either follow me in or give up and leave! So what’s it going to be Miss Hooves?”
With an ultimatum like that it took Derpy only a split second to get over her reluctance and take wing, following Aucune into the dark passage. Sure she thought it sounded like an absolutely nutty and pointless undertaking, but she wasn’t about to let all her hard work and torturous efforts in the last month be all for nothing.
Alright, if that’s how he wants it to be then that’s how it’s gonna be. He thinks I don’t have what it takes, well by Celestia I’ll show him! Show me what ya got Aucune, c’mon, bring it on!
Pumping her wings furiously, Derpy quickly caught up to and surpassed Aucune, who was galloping at a surprisingly slow pace. That gave her reason to pause, but she continued in her swift flight despite barely being able to see two inches in front of her.
Well that’s weird. I know Aucune’s a hay of a lot faster than that. Sure it’s a little dark but why is he going so slo-
Pain cut off Derpy’s train of thought as she slammed into a firm, rocky surface full speed, dropping like a rock to the cave floor below. A moment later Aucune caught up to where his stunned student lay sprawled, simply shaking his head.
“Slow down Miss Hooves. I said the formations in here were sparse, not entirely absent, so you might want to keep an eye out for any stalactites. Besides, it’s not a race, the aim here is endurance. Now come along, pick yourself up, you’ll live. We’ve got a long day ahead of us and a lot of ground to cover; unless of course you’d like to quit now.”
Dazed, Derpy slowly got to her hooves as stars and visions of heavenly looking muffins danced before her eyes. Shaking her head a few times she tried to regain her balance (and whatever dignity she still had) as quickly as possible. After a few unsteady missteps Derpy thought she could walk in a straight line (well, straight by her standards at any rate), and once more flapped her wings and took off, this time content to cautiously follow Aucune’s lead while looking out for any more incoming stalactites.
While it only got darker and harder to predict when stalactites were approaching, Derpy only had a few bumps and close calls now at her reduced speed. Despite its name the Dark Mile was still lit at intervals by skylights, albeit far fewer than in the passage Derpy had climbed to reach Die Schmiede. Still, overall things seemed to be going pretty well, at least given the circumstances. After about fifteen minutes, the two emerged on the other side of the mountain atop a small outcrop. Derpy lighted down for a brief respite but Aucune shook his head, motioning with his hoof for her to remain airborne.
“Not so fast Miss Hooves. Remember, we keep going until I say otherwise. Now, do it again.”
“But I-”
“Again Miss Hooves, I will not wait up for you!” Aucune commanded, charging back into the passage they’d just emerged from. Groaning in exasperation Derpy did as she was told and followed, worriedly wondering just how long Aucune intended to carry this on.
As it turned out, all day in the most literal possible sense.
Before long they’d crossed the mile long passage back and forth twice. Then three times. And then six. After the tenth or eleventh crossing (she wasn’t sure which) Derpy began to lose track, her mind focused only on flying, navigating, and breathing at that point.
On it went.
Surely Aucune intended to take a break sooner or later, right? Dawn had long since passed and the sun continued to rise higher and higher in the sky, blinding Derpy with its radiant glow every time she emerged from the dark passage.
Lunch at least. I mean, I didn’t even have any breakfast. Feather me, I’ll take hay and water at this point. No, scratch that; I’ll even take the water alone if we’re just gonna go right back to this. But I need something, anything at all!
On it went.
Minutes began to feel like hours, hours like days. Aucune seemed to be doing just fine; he certainly didn’t show any signs of slowing, or even look winded for that matter. Derpy’s breathing turned ragged, her wings grew heavier, and her mind duller.
On it went.
Fatigue setting in, the slip ups came with alarming frequency. She couldn’t think, her reaction time was way off, and so she started flying into stalactites, bumping into cavern walls, and even scuffed against the ceiling a few times. That added pain on top of her pain.
Pain and pain and pain.
On it went.
Can’t stop. He won’t, so can’t. Can’t stop. Not yet. Can’t stop. Want to… so badly.
On it went.
Don’t stop. You can’t. So don’t. Don’t stop. Don’t stop. Don’t stop. Don’t stop.
She didn’t see it coming; couldn’t, not at this point. Her right wing clipped a stalactite that came out of nowhere, and she fell… hard. Spun straight into the cavern wall and crashed with a heavy thud, just about a hundred yards shy of the cavern mouth facing Die Schmiede. Took her mind a moment to comprehend what had just happened. Took less time for the pain to set in, the pain compounding her pain on top of her pain. But she only thought one thing.
Define.
Without pause she pulled herself up, muscles groaning in agony, lips parched, breathing hoarse, dust clinging to every inch of her sweat-drenched body. Saw Aucune standing in the mouth, awaiting her arrival. She knew what she had to do, and despite everything, she wanted to do it. Didn’t just need to; wanted to.
Define.
Flapping her wings as best she could, every muscle in her body screaming at her to stop, she hovered just inches off the ground, swerving back and forth. Sweat trickled into her eyes, stinging them and blurring her vision. But not once did she take her eyes off of Aucune. Not once.
Define.
It seemed to take an eternity, but she kept going, eyes fixed on that unicorn standing before her as though there were nothing else in all the wide world.
Define.
He stared just as intently back at her. Their eyes met, neither full of hatred nor disdain. They were resolute, firm, and yet they betrayed nothing save for the strength they conveyed. The strength was there, in the eyes for all to see, and yet there was so much more behind that strength that none could see nor would see, but they knew, they knew without seeing, they knew it was there and what it was. Those kindred spirits, gazes locked, silently shared in their secret knowledge, in a bond that few could ever reproduce.
Define.
Twenty yards… ten yards… five. And then she was there. She hovered for just a moment before his face, her eyes still locked on Aucune with that same stare, and his on her. The sun was just beginning to dip below the tallest of the surrounding peaks. Alone in their corner of the vale the only noise that pierced the silence between the two was the ragged, hoarse sound of Derpy’s labored breathing. Then she turned back towards the cave, and the corners of Aucune’s mouth rose in the smallest of smiles.
“Enough,” he commanded. Derpy froze in midair, hovering where she was, but still staring at the cave.
“But I can go. I want to go, and so long as I want to go, I can keep going. I know I can. You know I can.” Derpy struggled to even get the words out; her lungs were burning, begging for air and respite.
“Indeed I do Miss Hooves, indeed I do. I have no doubt now that you could keep going until you dropped dead. Maybe even then you’d find a way. But that won’t be necessary; I’ve seen what I needed to see. It is now abundantly clear to me that we have forged an indomitable will within you; your spirit is strong and truly formidable. You did not do all this today, all this the past month, because I told you to; you did it because you chose to, you willed it. Innere Eroberung is almost at an end Miss Hooves. There is but one task left; you must confront your demons. Know them, overcome them; only then will you be able to reclaim your fate.”
Derpy lighted down from where she hovered, standing perfectly still, eyes still fixed on the gaping mouth before her. How she didn’t just collapse then and there was a mystery to Aucune. After what felt like an eternity she finally spoke in a cracked whisper.
“You… you really think I’m ready?”
“No Miss Hooves. I thought you were ready before; now, I know you are. And so do you. Now come along; let’s get you warmed up and enjoy a nice, hot meal.”
Aucune turned, expecting her to follow. When he glanced back, however, there she was, still rigid as a statue as though cemented in place.
“Miss Hooves?” he called out, concerned. “Are you quite alright?”
“I’m fine,” she answered, still refusing to turn towards Aucune. “Is it alright if I catch up with you in a few Mister Magique?”
Aucune studied Derpy intensely. Night was fast approaching, and he certainly didn’t want to leave her by herself in the middle of the increasingly cold vale. But he could tell she needed at least a moment to herself, so he opted to give her some distance while keeping her in his sight.
“Of course Miss Hooves. I’ll be right over here if you need anything.” He retreated a couple hundred yards up the path towards Die Schmiede, keeping his gaze fixed on his pupil.
It could’ve been minutes. Maybe hours. It might’ve even been just a few seconds. She didn’t know. Time just sort of passed by in an indefinable blur. For however long it was, she stood there, staring at that black spot she’d passed through maybe hundreds of times now. In a strange way it felt comforting; she didn’t want to turn away, didn’t want to leave it behind, to turn towards whatever the future now held in store for her. She feared the future, feared the unknown and what she might find. Every muscle and fiber of her being screamed for her to let up, to rest, to return to the warm confines of the castle. But one solitary thought kept darting about her mind, drowning out the chorus of other ideas pining to be heard. Aucune was right. She knew she was ready. Ready to know her demons, to confront them, and put them to rest once and for all.
“You know, it sure would’ve been nice if you’d told me a month ago how much hiking I’d be doing here. Who knows, with that little nugget of info I might’ve thought over coming here at all a bit more carefully?”
“As I recall I did tell you that you’d have to carry a flower to the top of a mountain. Was that not explicit enough? Besides, you were happy enough to do it before. What’s the matter, not getting cold hooves now, are you?”
“No, of course not! It’s just… horseapples, why do there have to be so many stairs?” Panting, Derpy stopped to catch her breath.
“Oh come now Miss Hooves, look on the bright side. Hiking’s a very healthy activity for both the body and mind, and at least we have stairs to climb. Or would you actually prefer that I give you a crash course in mountain climbing instead?”
Coming from any other pony Derpy would’ve shrugged off that last query as just some wisecrack, maybe even countered it with a smart-alecky comeback of her own, but from Aucune she could never be sure. She wasn’t really positive he understood the concept of sarcasm and decided it was best to remain on the safe side of things by saying nothing at all, and so the two ponies continued their ascent in silence.
Where exactly they were climbing Derpy could not say. It’d been two days since her grueling trial in the Dark Mile, and in all that time Aucune had largely kept mum on the matter. To be fair Derpy had slept through most of Monday; Aucune had given her the day off and she’d been so sapped by Sunday’s enterprise that she’d ended up confining herself to the comfort of her cot all day, only rising in the early evening to get some dinner. Tuesday hadn’t been much more eventful; after helping all morning around the castle with a few odd chores, Derpy’s afternoon had been spent gathering food and supplies with Aucune for their trek on Wednesday. Even then he’d barely shared any details about what was in store for her, aside from the fact that they’d be traveling to a secluded area high in the mountains for the duration of what he’d described as the “forthcoming tribulation”. Once their preparations were complete Aucune had dismissed Derpy for the day, and after grabbing some dinner the anxious mare had spent the rest of the evening reading, trying to take her mind off of things.
No matter how hard she tried, though, she just couldn’t stop thinking about what she’d have to confront in the mountains. Fear held her fast like an eagle clutching its prey in its talons, and she didn’t even know what exactly she’d find when the time came. All she did know was that whatever her demons were, they’d had a stranglehold on her life for as long as she could remember. Every gaffe, bumble, goof-up, and blunder she seemed to constantly make was attributable to the power they had over her; that fact alone made them a daunting and fearsome opponent, and the thought of challenging such an adversary filled Derpy with dread. When she could no longer go two sentences in her reading without her thoughts straying back to her anxiety, she’d given up altogether and headed to bed, hoping sleep would grant her some respite. But all night she’d tossed and turned beneath her covers, and a few times even woken with a start in a cold sweat.
She was almost relieved when Aucune roused her from her restless slumber early that morning. After wrapping themselves in cloaks and scarves and strapping on saddlebags containing their supplies, the two had set out at the crack of dawn, crossing the boulder-strewn vale until they’d come to an unmarked, secluded stairway at the eastern edge of the encompassing mountains. All morning they’d been making their way up the mountain path, climbing higher and higher. By no stretch of the imagination were things easygoing, yet despite her fatigue (and ever-increasing enmity towards stairs) Derpy really was grateful for the activity in general. Sure the climb was difficult and at times even monotonous, but it did divert her thoughts from her nerve-racking fears. Well, at least to some extent.
Derpy and Aucune continued their climb in silence for some time. Periodically Derpy glanced at the ground in front of her, watchful of her footing; these stairs seemed even more archaic and worn-down than those that led to Die Schmiede, and on top of that a good number of them were covered by thin, difficult-to-spot layers of glaze ice. All it would take was one misstep or slip of the hoof for the accident-prone Derpy to go tumbling a long and very painful ways down, a scenario she rather hoped to avoid altogether. Occupied as she was with the climb and her own worries, it came as a surprise to her when Aucune broke the silence soon after their last exchange.
“I must say, much as I enjoy a good hike, this is a rather dull affair. How about a story to pass the time?”
“A story? Ummm… is this really the time or place?” Derpy asked, unsure if her tutor was getting lightheaded on account of the higher elevation. Earthbound ponies’ bodies usually had a far more difficult time adjusting to high altitudes than pegasi, though seeing as Aucune lived in the mountains Derpy reckoned it wasn’t altitude sickness.
“Why not? There’s nothing else to do at the moment besides continue following the path; I’d say it’s as good a time as any for another history lesson.”
“Uh… OK, yeah, I guess that makes sense. What’d you have in mind Mister Magique?”
“I believe it’s time you finally learned our history Miss Hooves. By that of course I mean the history of the Order.”
What the hay, we haven’t covered that? I could’ve sworn we did. Hmmm, let’s see… Pre-Classical Era, the Unification Wars, Equestria’s Foundation and Classical Era, Discord’s Reign of Chaos, the Rise of the Alicorn Sisters. We’ve certainly gone through our fair share of ancient Equestrian history, but yeah, I guess we haven’t covered the Order yet now that I think about it. Wonder why he waited till now?
“Sure thing Mister Magique, fire away, I’m all ears!”
“Very good. I warn you, ours is not exactly a happy history, but there’s much to be learned from it. You won’t find it in too many annals of Equestrian history these days either, but not on account of its “obscure” nature. No, no: we have been forgotten by most because a select few exalted individuals have made the express choice to purposefully neglect us and our contributions to Equestria. But enough about that, let’s get to the history itself, from the beginning.”
“Harmony did not reclaim Equestria instantaneously after the Sisters’ overthrow of Discord; chaos reigned across the land, and the infrastructure of every region and major city lay in shambles. Some villages were even completely abandoned, never to be inhabited ever again. All in all, the Sisters stepped into power with an abysmal national disaster on their hooves the likes of which even they were unprepared to handle, at least by themselves. Complicating matters was the Crystal Empire to the north, and the role it might play in Equestria’s future.”
“The Crystal Empire? Wait, what’s that, I’ve never heard of it?” A million new questions spun through Derpy’s mind all at once, each one vying to be answered.
“Patience Miss Hooves, patience,” Aucune implored, “all will be revealed, just wait and see. The Crystal Empire was an ancient kingdom older than Equestria itself. Nopony knows where its citizens, the Crystal Ponies, came from, but we do know that they built their kingdom centuries before Equestria’s founding in what is now the Frozen North. Once, all the barren, frozen waste beyond the Crystal Mountains was a lush and beautiful land, if that can be believed, on par with Equestria itself. The three pony tribes discovered and established contact with this kingdom soon after founding Equestria, and over time the two pony nations developed close relations with one another. When the draconequus overran Equestria, the Empire sheltered Equestrian refugees who fled north, and also granted asylum to Equestria’s government. They even helped organize the beginnings of what would eventually have been a joint Equestrian-Crystal coalition, which would’ve fought to liberate Equestria from Discord’s grasp.”
“But then Princess Celestia and Princess Luna showed up,” Derpy interjected.
“Quite right, and that changed everything for everyone. While what could’ve easily been a bloody, drawn out conflict with Discord was averted, Equestria now had two godlike beings whom nobody knew virtually anything about as its rulers. All anyone really knew about the Sisters was that they were both ridiculously powerful. And that scared ponies. A lot of ponies.”
“You’re joking. But why?” Derpy asked. “The Royal Sisters are awesome! They raise the sun and the moon, keep us all safe, and, well, just do the best they can to make Equestria a great place to live. Why would anypony be scared of them?”
A heavy silence hung in the air for a moment. Aucune flicked his tail very deliberately from side to side, and if Derpy had been facing him she would’ve seen his standard steely countenance somehow further hardening. When he finally broke the silence, his words were slow and measured.
“Put yourself in their place for a moment, Miss Hooves. Try imagining what you yourself might’ve thought of the Sisters without over a millennium of their rule to go upon. What if you had never seen nor heard of an alicorn before, had no idea what one even was, and then one day, out of the blue, two show up in your home unexpected and unannounced with a bang? What then, Miss Hooves? How do you think you’d react?”
“I… guess I’d be pretty freaked out,” Derpy admitted. “But they still imprisoned Discord with the Elements of Harmony. I mean, weren’t ponies happy about that? Didn’t they know they could trust them after that?”
“On the contrary, that’s exactly what gave most ponies cause for concern in the first place. It proved just how powerful the Sisters were and understandably frightened many. Before Discord, ponykind had never encountered magical beings of such magnitude. Things certainly hadn’t always been perfect, but by the time Discord showed up the three tribes had achieved a stable, harmonious balance in the still young Equestria. Discord and the Sisters, however, threw that balance out of sync. It’s no surprise then that, with many of their own subjects uncertain what to expect and some even terrified of them, the Sisters put the Crystal Empire quite on edge as well, which finally brings us to the Order’s inception.”
“As I previously mentioned, Equestria was in shambles when Celestia and Luna came to power. With so much effort required to restore order to the land, the Sisters had neither the time nor energy to personally devote towards building amicable diplomatic relations with the Crystal Empire. So a solution was devised by the Sisters and the Empire’s Royal Family: an order, our order, was established.”
“Originally called simply ‘the Order’, it was comprised of hundreds of soldiers, scholars, and government officials from both nations, and allotted land in the Crystal Mountains. It would in effect be autonomous, owing no political allegiance to either Equestria or the Empire. The intent behind its formation was both political and cultural; while the Order’s express purpose was to regulate and protect the Equestrian-Crystal border, its unofficial function was to build and maintain relations between Equestria and the Empire as ponykind entered a new age. Self-governing and self-sustaining, the Order would take in any pony willing to join its ranks and devote themselves to promoting harmony, upholding justice, and protecting ponykind from whatever evils dared waylay any in the Crystal Mountains. Watch your step.”
Derpy’s eyes darted to the ground and she just barely sidestepped a massive gap in a few stairs right in front of her, timeworn by centuries of exposure to the elements. After recovering from her near slip, she turned her attention back to Aucune’s account.
“So what happened next?” She was very intrigued by Aucune’s revelation that the princesses themselves had had a hoof in founding the Order, not to mention everything she’d just been told about an empire which up until today she hadn’t even known existed.
“Hoped for and unexpected developments. Just as the Sisters and Royal Family hoped, the Order quickly proved to be a stabilizing presence along the border, monitoring traffic in the mountains and maintaining law and order, at least along the most important major highways. It also served spectacularly in its capacity as a diplomatic body, forging new ties between the Equestrians and Crystal Ponies and helping the Sisters gain the trust of the Crystal Empire. But as it grew, the Order began to change. For the first few decades of its existence, displaced ponies of every background from all over chaos-ridden Equestria swarmed to the Order. But as harmony was restored and the Sisters’ rule established, the Order’s ranks noticeably transformed. The dejected, displaced, and lost continued to join, but they no longer came from just any background. Instead, those who had no place in either nation came: the homeless, the talentless, the jobless, the aimless, the hopeless. As more and more came the Order’s superiors began to notice a common thread; cutie marks seemed to be at the center of most of these ponies’ troubles.”
A subdued giggle escaped Derpy’s lips, drawing an irked glance from Aucune.
“What, do you mean that all of them were unsure about their cutie marks and as big of klutzes as I am? Sorry Mister Magique, it’s just a little funny picturing thousands of clumsy ponies all coming together, everyone blundering this way and that.”
Aucune halted and turned to face Derpy. His face and body were a picture of calm neutrality, but his eyes told a different story altogether. Two fiery orbs of icy cold rage glared down at Derpy, and looking down from above her as he was, the sight of Aucune’s withering gaze alone was enough to strike the fear of Celestia in even the most rugged and stalwart of ponies.
“Ah yes, amusing, right? Countless lost souls with nowhere else to go, nopony left to turn to: what a regular laugh riot,” he coldly retorted. “It’s sad that your mockery is not too far from the truth; the only thing sadder is that the truth is so much worse. Some ponies came with cutie marks they didn’t understand, others with none at all, usually well into adulthood. Oftentimes they’d never displayed any talent or ability for anything at all, perhaps not even held down a steady job at any point in their lives. Far too often ponies came who’d been flat out ostracized by their own families, especially those who’d been born into noble families that had reputations to worry about.”
“Whoever they were, whatever their past, they were all lost! Deep down in the pit of their being they had no sense of belonging anywhere, no genuine feeling that they had a meaningful role to play in their home, their country, even their own families. Surely you of all ponies can appreciate how terrible such a fate is, and know the desperation and suffering that arises out of such a lot in life.”
Derpy paled at the rebuke and felt a knot forming in the pit of her stomach.
Oh… oh horsefeathers, why? Why did I say that? Why the hay did I say that? Dang it, what would she think? Laughing at ponies like me, maybe even worse off!
“I’m sorry Mister Magique, really. That wasn’t the right thing to say at all. It’s just hard for me to imagine so many ponies having so much trouble… being ponies, I guess. I know I’ve been here with you all for a month, but everyone here seems perfectly normal, that’s all. Still, that’s no excuse, and for what it’s worth I’m sorry.”
The flames in Aucune’s eyes died down, replaced in an instant by his usual steely expression, and he gave his repentant pupil a curt nod before turning away, much to Derpy’s relief. His body language as a whole remained neutral, but he seemed less rigid and tense than when he had delivered his reprimand a moment ago.
“Apology accepted Miss Hooves. I’m sorry as well; my words were true, but I’m afraid I was unfairly harsh. I know that this is all new for you, and you had no way of knowing just how dire things have been and are. Sometimes the hardest part of these lessons for me is being reminded how few ponies know the truth: that our nation is hardly the flawless paradise so many paint it as, where everypony has their own special place.” Sympathy and bitterness simultaneously seeped from his words.
“Was there really no other place for them to go? Were things really that bad?” Derpy asked, hoping to gently prod Aucune’s mind away from whatever sad thoughts now occupied it.
“Regrettably no. Nopony else knew that so many of their brethren were so… desperate. Like I said, we didn’t even realize it until they all started coming, and that was completely by accident.” Aucune gave a disgusted snort, shaking his head in disbelief.
“Accident?” Derpy asked in confusion.
“Remember Miss Hooves, the Order was self-governing and self-sustaining from the start. While its members certainly treasured the independent nature of the organization, that independence also meant that they couldn’t rely on the Sisters or the Royal Family to continue replenishing our numbers. Officially, the Order had no binding legal ties to either government, and so they were in no way legally obligated to reinforce it regularly. So we did the only thing we could: we opened ourselves to anyone. Any pony, and I do mean any, were welcome within our ranks. We spread this word far and wide across the land, but as time went on only the most desperate, forlorn individuals, bereft of talent, vocation, and even home, responded.”
“Well, we couldn’t very well throw these ponies out just because they’d never shown an aptitude for anything else; at the very least, the Order needed them just as much as they needed the Order. So instead, we adapted; the brightest minds in the Order gathered in council and, after months of deliberation, the beginnings of a philosophy were produced, a philosophy that would completely transform the Order. They called it Unbegrenzt. No longer would the Order simply function as border patrol and an unofficial diplomatic body between two nations. Those functions were retained, but in addition we took upon ourselves a third purpose, a nobler, higher purpose: to show the world that any pony, no matter who they were, where they came from, or what they lacked, was capable of accomplishing anything.”
“It was at this time that our name was changed to its present day title, the Ordo Extraordinarii. In this brotherhood, there would be no common ponies or ordinary folk; whoever they were, we would ensure that each and every pony who joined our ranks would become the absolute best they could possibly be, not just for the Order’s own sake, but because they owed it to themselves. No pony should settle for a limited life just because others tell him that his cutie mark will only allow him to do this or that; Unbegrenzt dictated that each and every pony was capable of accomplishing anything at any time in their life. If they only completely devoted themselves wholeheartedly, all the strength, will, and power they could muster, then they could attain whatever object they desired.”
“That sounds a bit… aggressive,” Derpy noted.
“You misunderstand Miss Hooves. We had no hidden objects of conquest in mind, nor some juvenile desire to prove in any way that those within the Order were somehow better than everypony else. The plain fact of the matter is that these desperate souls were the only ones coming to join the Order, but it needed to still function as professionally as possible. After all, it still had to manage the border, and in those days that was no easy task; even after the Sister’s rule was established the Crystal Mountains remained a lawless, wild region, full of roving gangs of bandits, highwayponies, and all manner of beasts and monsters waiting to waylay defenseless travelers. So the Order’s superiors simply did what they needed to do to ensure that our members remained the best of the best, more than capable of defending the citizens of Equestria and the Crystal Empire from whatever dangers lay in the mountains.”
“OK, well, that makes sense,” Derpy conceded. “So did it work?”
“Well, yes and no,” Aucune answered. “In practice Unbegrenzt, and the regimen that developed out of it, worked like a charm and had an astounding success rate. But… in hindsight, our leaders should’ve taken things a step further and shared their discovery that there was such a cultural crisis in both countries, that so many ponies were outcasts simply because of the way all of ponykind exalted the role of cutie marks in their lives. They should’ve presented their findings to the Sisters, the Empire, anyone at all in a position of power, back when they might’ve listened to us, while we still had influence enough that most anybody would’ve listened. If they’d advocated hard enough, who knows, perhaps dozens of organizations could’ve been built that emulated the Order, giving outcasts as many places to go as possible.”
“But it was so easy instead to simply go on as these ponies’ sole benefactor. Our regimen and philosophy always worked, always managed to change the lives of the tens of thousands who came to us for the better. Our members were happy, content, and the Order was growing; what more needed to be done? They just couldn’t imagine that it could all come crashing down.”
Aucune remained silent for a few long moments before he continued from where he’d grimly left off. Each sentence seemed strained, as though the mere uttering pained him.
“For 300 years we throve and prospered. Equestria was restored, relations between the Equestrians and Crystal Ponies flourished, and the Crystal Mountains were kept safe. As our ranks swelled we began to require even more living space, and so with the wealth we had built through trade and various other business with the two nations, we bought more land in the mountains and built more strongholds, further securing the mountains and the roads that passed through them. Before we knew it, we’d built an entire civilization. At our peak, the Ordo Extraordinarii controlled a dozen fortresses throughout the Crystal Mountains, all of them fully garrisoned, not to mention the communities that sprang up near each one. As the centuries passed, our wealth, our ranks, and our knowledge all grew. Unbegrenzt continued to evolve, refined and developed by some of the finest minds the world has ever known. In our free society, we imported ideas, philosophies, cultural practices and lifestyles from all over the world; in effect, we became the most cosmopolitan civilization the world has ever known, a light for all ponykind.”
“That sounds like it was really wonderful Mister Magique,” Derpy remarked, envisioning the bustling arcadia that had once existed in the desolate mountains.
“Yes… yes it does, doesn’t it?” Aucune agreed.
“So where did it all go? What happened?” Derpy was dying to know the answer, although judging by Aucune’s tone whatever it was, it was not pleasant. All the same, she wanted to know.
“A monster happened. A monster in the north by the name of Sombra,” Aucune spat the name as though it were venomous. “At the pinnacle of our glory, in an age of peace and prosperity for all of ponykind, the dark-hearted King Sombra came to power in the Crystal Empire. For reasons unknown evil clouded his thoughts and stained his heart and soul black as a starless sky all of his days. He lusted after power and delved into dark arts to get it.”
“A few years after he ascended to the throne, troubling reports started coming to our strongholds from the north. Word of exorbitant taxes, heavily regulated trade, state seizure of private property and businesses, and the disappearance of all who opposed these measures permeated the correspondence of members from their families in the Empire. Soon the mail came less and less, then finally nothing. Complete and total silence was all that resonated from the north. At this point it was apparent to the Order’s leaders that something was terribly wrong, and so spies were sent north. Out of a dozen sent only three returned, and not a moment too soon, for shortly thereafter Sombra began shutting down every major highway into and out of the Empire, garrisoning the entire border at the northern edge of the mountains. Needless to say, the report that our spies gave was… disturbing.”
“So how bad was it?” Derpy asked.
“Worse than anypony had even imagined. Sombra had by then complete control over the whole of the Crystal Empire, ruling with an iron grip. He’d acquired a frightening amount of command over powerful dark magic, and ruled through fear and brute strength. The Crystal Ponies had been reduced from free and happy citizens to a state of serfdom, nay, slavery even! On top of all this, the magical crux of their nation itself, the Crystal Heart, had been stolen away from them, hidden by Sombra through his dark arts. Famine was beginning to spread across the land, the Crystal Ponies were in no position to resist (for all who dared oppose Sombra were swiftly disposed of), and even the rest of the Royal Family was in a veritable state of house arrest, confined to the Crystal Palace. Throughout the Empire, there was no hope, happiness, or love to be found: only despair. It was clear to the Order that something had to be done. And so it was.”
“First, a daring operation was launched into the heart of the Empire. A crack team of some of our finest members managed to infiltrate the Empire’s capitol and the Crystal Palace itself; at the cost of many of our brethren’s lives, we managed to extricate the entire Royal Family, including Sombra’s younger brother, next in line to the Crystal throne. Once we’d secured them, the Order moved swiftly; after gathering together all the evidence we could, emissaries led by the Order’s leader Eisen Huf the Stalwart marched to Canterlot with the Royal Family in tow, to present our findings and their testimony, and devise a plan to stop the madness of King Sombra before it was too late. It was here that the seeds of our demise were planted and took root, nourished by a betrayal we could never have imagined or foreseen.”
“Wait, really?” Derpy said in surprise. “What could’ve possibly gone wrong in Canterlot? Did Sombra have spies there, or, did he attack the Order while the emissaries were away? Or maybe something else? What happened?”
“What?” The gears in Derpy’s head churned, trying to make sense of Aucune’s nonsensical reply. “I… I don’t understand.”
“The emissaries presented their findings. The Royal Family gave their testimony. Every single Crystal Pony that the Order had either managed to extricate, or had somehow escaped on their own from the Empire, at great peril to their families, friends, and themselves I might add, gave detailed, chilling accounts of the horrors they’d witnessed.” Enmity became more and more distinct in Aucune’s speech with each passing sentence; every recollection seemed to be bitter kindling to an anger that threatened to burst into a wildfire of rage any second now if fanned too much. “Every single condemnation, damning account, and scrap of evidence that we could possibly bring against that bastard were presented to the Sisters and the entire Royal Court. The blind could have seen that he was guilty, the truth of our words was evident to even the deaf. But what did the Sisters do? Absolutely nothing!”
A pall of shock descended over Derpy. Unable to come up with anything else, she did the only thing she could and asked the obvious.
“Why? Why wouldn’t they do anything about a monster like that? That just doesn’t sound like something the princesses would tolerate in the slightest. I can’t believe they’d be so… apathetic in the face of somepony as evil as Sombra.”
“A fair question Miss Hooves, a fair question indeed. In all honesty, I cannot say why they did nothing. Oh sure, they gave their reasons, our records tell us as much; the Sisters explained that they feared that Sombra would try to escalate any military action between Equestria and the Empire into an international conflict, dragging Griffonia or some of Equestria’s other traditional enemies into the fray through his cunning and deceit. Sound logic, no doubt about that; after all, the Griffonians were always looking for an excuse to fight with the pony nations at the time, and there was evidence even then that Sombra had already made overtures to the griffons seeking their assistance in the event of war with Equestria. Any other conflict, their reasoning might have been enough to drop the matter.”
“But for all their logic and practicality, they forgot one crucial factor: the heart of the matter. Who we wanted to fight for, to liberate from the shackles of that beast’s tyranny. It was not cows, pigs, sheep, mules, griffons, or even diamond dogs; these were ponies. They were our kin, brethren, blood of our blood. We could not simply abandon them to the sick machinations of a psychotic dictator! The heart and soul would simply not allow it! Furthermore, it was more than even a question of who we wished to free. It was a question of doing the right thing, and consequences be damned, the only right thing to do was storm the Empire and topple Sombra from his throne! What did we get instead? Political asylum for the Royal Family and a “pledge” that Equestrian authorities would monitor the situation in the north closely. And so the Sisters betrayal was effected, though nopony realized it at the time.”
By now it was fast becoming clear to Derpy that the Order had certainly not had what could be called a “happy history”; in fact, she had a bad feeling that the ending to Aucune’s tale would be anything but happy. Still, she needed to know how it all ended. So she pressed on, same as before, undaunted by the unknown.
“What did the Order do Mister Magique?”
“The only thing we could do: the right thing. It may not have been the most reasonable or practical move, but from the start our leaders knew that the Order would act no matter what course the Sisters and Equestria took. How could we not? Over a third of our members were Crystal Ponies; many families within the Order were even blended, made up of Crystal and Equestrian spouses. No matter what the rest of Equestria might’ve thought of the Crystal Ponies, by that point they were nothing less than kin to us. And when our kin were in such dire straits, facing a terror unheard of by ponykind since the chaotic days of Discord, we could not just sit in the mountains and do nothing! So we acted, when the Sisters would not. When nopony else was willing to do the right thing, the Ordo Extraordinarii did!”
A strange blend of pride and sorrow simultaneously resonated from Aucune’s speech.
“Before Eisen Huf left Canterlot, messengers were secretly dispatched to all of the Order’s outposts. When the emissaries returned weeks later, an army had been gathered the likes of which the Order had never assembled. Over half of our members, 10,000 ponies of all shapes and sizes, were gathered to march on the Empire, while the rest were left behind to garrison our fortresses. Led by Eisen Huf, the army marched north, intent on liberating the Crystal Empire once and for all.”
“Well did they?” Derpy asked directly.
“They never even made it to the capitol. The accounts we have are sparse, but from what we do know it seems that Sombra was simply too powerful for us to handle by that point. While his own military forces were paltry compared to our own and largely comprised of griffon mercenaries, his mastery of dark magic was unparalleled, and against such brute strength our forces were simply no match. When the Order finally met him on the field our ranks were cut down like wheat beneath the scythe; most, including Eisen Huf himself, were either slain or captured, and only a few dozen survivors escaped the battlefield, fleeing south. That was merely the beginning of our suffering; from there, things only got worse.”
“Worse? How could things possibly get worse after that?” Derpy asked, wide-eyed at the thought of so many thousands of lives snuffed out in a single day just like that by one wretched individual alone.
“An outcry resounded from all of Equestria following the Order’s disastrous expedition, but hardly the kind we could have hoped for. The survivors along with the remainder of the Order presumed that at the very least the Sisters and Equestria would be goaded into action after such a raw, terrible display of Sombra’s power and wickedness. Instead, for our noble, selfless sacrifice, all we were accorded from Equestria in return was contempt and vilification.”
“The Sisters did everything in their power to distance themselves and Equestria from the Order politically, making it very much clear to Sombra and the rest of the world that they wanted nothing to do with us for fear of reprisal. Needless to say, Sombra couldn’t have been more pleased by this turn of events; before we could get our bearings he launched a furious campaign into the Crystal Mountains, targeting specifically our strongholds. Dozens of villages were torched, thousands perished or were driven from their homes, and all of the Order’s outposts were razed to the ground, save of course for the secluded Die Schmiede. And still the Sisters did nothing!”
Aucune’s anger was slowly starting to make more and more sense to Derpy. After all, like every pony she’d always been taught as a filly only about the wondrous ways that Princess Celestia controlled the sun and moon and wisely ruled over all Equestria. And while she certainly didn’t know that much about Princess Luna, she’d seemed nice enough at last year’s Nightmare Night festivities. It was unfathomable that the regal alicorns, so powerful and committed to doing good and securing justice for all, could simply ignore or, even worse, tolerate the horrors that King Sombra had inflicted upon his subjects.
“When did all that madness end? It had to have ended, right?” Derpy pressed. “I mean, there’s certainly no Sombra around today, so something must’ve stopped him.”
“Oh, it ended all right,” Aucune gloomily confirmed. “It certainly wasn’t on account of anything the Order did; our cries for aid continued to fall on deaf ears until the very end, by which point there was merely a hoofful of us left. No, no, it was really Sombra’s own doing; after he’d nearly crushed every single pocket of resistance the Order could offer, effectively seizing control of the Crystal Mountains in the process, his power went to his head and he made the boneheaded decision to lay siege to Manehattan itself. Needless to say, the Sisters didn’t take too kindly to anyone threatening their lands and finally realized that Sombra was nothing more than a crazed, bloodthirsty, power hungry dictator who couldn’t be talked to or reasoned with and would not stop until somepony stopped him once and for all. After shattering his forces around Manehattan and sending them reeling back north, the Sisters personally stormed into the Crystal Empire all on their own and battled Sombra. In the end, their combined might was too much even for his dark magic. However, victory did not come without a price. With his dark arts so far advanced, Sombra had managed to curse his kingdom prior to his downfall; as soon as he was overthrown, the Empire, and every last Crystal Pony within it, disappeared. Thus, the Empire was, quite literally, no more.”
“Gone, just… just like that? It really all just disappeared into thin air?” Derpy was horrified at the idea that there was magic out there capable of such a terrible deed.
“Indeed it did. All that remains where it once stood over a thousand years ago are the cold, inhospitable lands of the Frozen North. Even the Crystal Mountains lost their legendary luster as a result of the Empire’s downfall. Beyond the scant records of the Empire’s history kept by ourselves and a select few in Equestria, the only other remaining evidence that it ever existed now resides further down the mountain, guarding the passage to our last stronghold and carrying on a sad, forlorn existence.”
For a moment Derpy was stuck trying to make sense of that last sentence, when the answer suddenly hit her like a ton of bricks.
“Wait… are you saying that those ponies who showed me the passage to Die Schmiede are Crystal Ponies?”
“In a word, yes.” And just like that she had a thousand more questions.
“How’d they escape the Crystal Empire? Was it the Order? What about the Princesses? Did they try to help at all? What about-”
“Miss Hooves, please, restrain yourself!” Aucune implored, forcefully cutting off Derpy before she overwhelmed herself and her mentor with an endless list of questions. “I’m pleased that you’re so enthralled by our history, but please exercise some patience and restraint. To start, yes, it was the Order’s doing; we managed to help some Crystal Ponies escape the Empire before its ruin, while others were members of the Order itself who’d survived Sombra’s destructive campaign. It hardly mattered, however, when it was all said and done, for a mere hoofful remained after the fall of the Empire. The whole Order was in tatters, really; Die Schmiede alone survived Sombra’s warpath, and only because it was hidden, unlike the rest of our strongholds.”
“But why don’t they live here then, in the fortress with the rest of the Order?”
“Because they barely have the will to live as it is. The Empire’s ruin broke their spirits. Everything they’d known and loved, their families, friends, and homeland simply disappeared like that. Overnight they went from being members of a proud and powerful race to being the last remnant of a now endangered species. We told them they were free to go south to Equestria if they wished, where they could join and assimilate into far healthier, stable communities, but they refused, and likewise chose not to remain in the Order. None of it mattered anymore to them, none of it at all; they were too crushed by such a terrible loss, and they and their descendants have remained that way for the past thousand years. Today the last of the Crystal Ponies simply drift through life, their spirits as dulled as their coats and the very mountains in which they reside. The only thing we’ve managed to do for them is hide them from the rest of the world as they wish, ensuring none interfere with their way of life in exchange for their own guarding of our secret stronghold. I wish we could do more, but I don’t think anything could ever fill the hole in their hearts left by the loss of their home.”
“Didn’t the Princesses try to help at all? Wouldn’t they have at least tried to see if there were any survivors, from either the Empire or the Order?” Derpy asked, raising a fair question.
“They might have given more than the halfhearted excuse of a search that they did if certain events hadn’t transpired shortly thereafter. Soon after the fall of the Empire, Luna’s resentment against Celestia came to a head and Nightmare Moon was born. After their brief but fierce struggle and Nightmare Moon’s banishment to the moon, Celestia was left with double the responsibilities and could hardly be troubled with searching for a small band of refugees. So we were forgotten: the Order, the Empire, everything, not just by Celestia but, in time, the whole of Equestria.”
“A mere shadow of what we once were, we could not hope to rebuild without the resources and influence we’d once commanded. More importantly, the bitter taste of our betrayal still lingered fresh in our memory, and so the Order made the decision that it wanted no part of Celestia or her country. Thenceforth we would carry on with our work from the shadows, and that’s exactly what we’ve done since then; for the past thousand years, we’ve slowly rebuilt, helping as many of the most despondent of ponykind as we could with the limited resources at our disposal. That, Miss Hooves, is the story of the Order; now you know who we are, who we were, and how we became the shadow of our former glory that we are today, limited but more committed than ever to our noble work.”
Neither spoke for some time after that. So much had been said, and there was now so much to think about. So they just climbed, the only sounds the clop of their hooves against the worn stairs and the wind beating against the mountainside.
They must’ve had some good reason for not doing more. C’mon, think, think! OK, well… no, that’s no good. What about… no, no, they still might’ve denounced him at least. But they couldn’t just, well, actually, now that I think about it, they could’ve at least opened their borders to refugees, or broken diplomatic ties or… horsefeathers, something! Anything, anything at all would’ve been better than nothing!
Derpy grunted in frustration and kept racking her brain, desperate to find an answer that might give her some peace of mind. She’d been troubled ever since Aucune had finished his account, mostly by what she’d been told about the princesses. All her life she’d grown up thinking of Princess Celestia as some kind of flawless, immaculate being. To be fair, the return of Nightmare Moon had somewhat marred that image; sure Celestia hadn’t done anything wrong herself, but her sister certainly had. Twice now Celestia’s own sister and co-ruler had tried to plunge Equestria into eternal darkness, and to say that was bad was putting it far more nicely than was warranted. Princess Luna might’ve eventually been cleansed, but that didn’t change the fact that she’d done some terrible things. Still, it didn’t make sense that either of the sisters could just sit by and do nothing while some tyrant right next door caused pain, misery, and suffering for countless ponies, at least not while they were happily ruling together at any rate.
Wrong. It was wrong. I… I wish I could deny it but I can’t. What they did was wrong! Callous, cowardly, whatever you call it, the fact remains that it was just flat out wrong. All their power, they should’ve done something before it all spiraled out of control! I- I still can’t believe I’m thinking it, but I am, and I can’t get it out of my head; Princess Celestia and Luna were terribly, terribly in the wrong! I just… what do I do with that? What does Aucune want me to do with that? He waited until now to tell me for a reason, but why?
Anger and confusion ranged through Derpy’s torn mind. Was this what Aucune wanted her to feel? She certainly couldn’t deny the wrongfulness of the Royal Sisters’ apathy, but still, something just didn’t feel right about this. She’d come to the Order to find peace, but right now, all she felt was conflict: conflict of the mind, of the heart, of the soul.
What do I do, what do I do, what do I do???
Through the raging discord in her mind a tiny memory gleamed through the din. Recollections of a devastated filly eyeing from afar a lone figure atop a grassy hill, a tall, resplendent white mare standing next to a small apple sapling with her head hung low, silently sharing in the filly’s grief. Slowly but surely, Derpy’s mind stilled as she thought more and more of that small but invaluable moment that’d meant all the world to her at the time.
You can’t forget the good either Derpy, you just can’t. All the good they’ve done for so many ponies, both big and small. Countless generations have enjoyed peaceful lives because of all the good work Celestia and Luna have accomplished in their rule. And hay, they were even able to let go of whatever animosity they held toward one another after a thousand years of being separated!
If they can forgive mistakes a millennium old, well, then so can I; sure, they may not be perfect, and yes they’ve made plenty of mistakes, but that doesn’t mean they’re not trying their best. That’s the most any of us can do really; do the best with the gifts we’ve been given even if it’ll never be perfect. Can’t be bitter about that, but accept it instead. I shouldn’t feel anger towards anypony, not for something that happened so long ago, no matter how terrible it was; instead, I should give my all, the best that I got, do what I can to help everypony else make our home a better place, and ensure that these past wrongs are never repeated again.
The weight of her troubling thoughts began lifting from her shoulders, and Derpy breathed a sigh of relief.
No need to get myself all in a fuss over others’ mistakes; got my own demons to deal with after all. Soon as we finish climbing this feathering mountain at least. We’ve got to be close to the top by now… OK, maybe not that close, but at least to wherever we’re going!
“Ah, here we are,” Aucune announced.
Wow… talk about your weird timing.
Despite having no idea what to expect at the end of their climb, Derpy was still caught off guard by what met her gaze as she scaled the last few steps and followed Aucune through a small rift in the mountainside. In place of the frigid barrenness that’d been the norm throughout their ascent, a veritable paradise now lay before her; a lush, grassy hollow dotted with small pools of water and all manner of vegetation. A clump of pines rose near one pool, and not far from it a pair of maples. Here and there were a few cherry blossoms, their pale pink flowers beginning to bloom, along with some florescent apple trees. A cluster of bushes bearing shimmering berries grew near the base of a papery birch that towered over a nearby flowering dogwood. Wide arrays of exotic flowers and shrubs, most of which Derpy had never even seen before, ranged throughout the hollow. A great rugged oak seemed to round everything out, presiding near the center next to the largest pool in the unlikely arcadia.
“What is this place?” Derpy breathed, almost at a loss for words.
“A most sacred spot, Miss Hooves. This grove is the oldest remaining testament to our Order and its mission; each one of these plants you see here was planted at some time or another across the centuries by members, brought from their original homes in Equestria, the Crystal Empire, or elsewhere. Here they serve as a reminder to any who visit that no matter where we may hail from, every brother and sister of the Order stands united in perpetuity in defense of all ponykind. There is no name for it in our annals… no need really. It simply is: always has been and always will be, at least as long as we’re still around to look after it.”
“How’re they growing up here? We’re so high up. I can’t imagine most of these plants can tolerate the cold at these altitudes, not to mention the soil can’t possibly be that fertile either, at least not enough for most of the trees here.”
“Very astute of you Miss Hooves. Just take a few more steps and I believe your question will be partially answered.” Aucune beckoned her to follow him through the rift and Derpy complied, stepping into the grove she still couldn’t quite believe was really there. As soon as her hoof touched the soft, carpetlike grass, warm air enveloped Derpy’s body and the sweet scent of the diverse, newly blossoming trees overcame her nostrils, and suddenly she realized just how foreign this oasis really was from its mountain surroundings.
“This whole space isn’t natural, is it?” she asked upon her revelation.
“Besides the springs, no, it isn’t,” Aucune confirmed. “It took quite a few advanced climate-altering spells along with some expert horticultural finagling to successfully plant this grove and create hospitable surroundings with a temperate climate and nutritious earth to support anything planted here. To this day we still have to routinely send unicorns and earth ponies about once a month to regenerate the weather spells and look after the plants. But enough about that; I believe a refreshing drink is in order after a long day of hard climbing.”
The two trotted over to the large spring at the center, setting their saddlebags down beneath the great oak and divesting themselves of their cloaks and scarves, now unnecessary given the pleasant clime of the magically-altered space shielded from the mountain cold. Laying down at the edge of the pool, the pair blissfully lapped up icy water to their hearts’ content till their thirst had been sated. Rejuvenated from their exhausting trek, a thought came to Derpy as she finished gulping down one last mouthful of water.
“You mentioned that unicorns have to regenerate the weather spells here once a month. Are you gonna take care of that too while we’re up here?”
“I will not,” Aucune simply responded, turning back towards his saddlebag and sorting through its contents.
“Why not? We’re up here, so might as well. I know we came here for my training, but I don’t mind, really. I can’t imagine it takes that long anyway. Uh… does it?”
“No, as a matter of fact it does not take long at all. The problem is not the timing Miss Hooves; I simply can’t assist in this particular matter.”
“Why can’t you?” Derpy asked innocently, thinking it must have something to do with some stingy code the Order had about higher ranking members not having to perform mundane tasks.
“Simple: I have no magic,” Aucune plainly answered, eliciting a double-take from his student.
“Wait, what? Since when?!”
“Well, since always to be honest.” Aucune shrugged as though there were nothing at all out of the ordinary about what he’d just said and turned back to emptying his saddlebag. Derpy, however, wasn’t about to let a bombshell like that go unexplained.
“Woah, woah, woah, time out; you’re not seriously just going to tell me ‘I have no magic’ and leave it at that, are you? That’s like, I don’t know… contracting some kind of untreatable disease, or getting fired from your job and treating it like it’s nothing. You can’t just treat it like it’s nothing Mister Magique, because, well… it’s something, it really is! I mean, that’s kind of a big deal isn’t it?”
“I suppose, though to tell you the truth when you’ve lived without magic as long as I have it really doesn’t feel like it matters all that much anymore. Just a normal facet of my life at this point. But if you really want to know more details so badly, I’ll tell you more once we’ve pitched our tents and gotten some food in our bellies. Fair enough?”
“Sure, I guess that works. I am pretty hungry. How long have we been climbing?” Derpy inquired, eyeing the quickly reddening sky.
“If I had to guess, I’d say about twelve hours.”
“Are you kidding? That long, huh. Well, that certainly explains why I’m kinda starving at the moment. Best get moving then; the sooner we get some food in our bellies, the better!”
With some difficulty Derpy mustered up an anxious burst of energy, a hollow sort of vigor that felt like it might give out any second now, but it would have to do for the moment. At this point the promise of food in hopefully a few short minutes was the only thing preventing her from dropping like a rock where she stood, but given that right now she’d gladly give all the gold and gems in Canterlot for a bite to eat, all things considered that promise alone was pretty good motivation for her. Unfortunately, she might’ve been a bit too motivated.
Hungrier than a famished timber wolf, Derpy hastened in pitching her tent, and the results weren’t pretty. While Aucune calmly went about setting up his own tarp tent, Derpy first forgot to lay out the ground sheet, and as a result set up her gadget poles too close together, a mistake she only discovered when her tarp wouldn’t fit on the line between the two poles. Less than two minutes after they’d begun, Aucune had pitched a textbook tarp tent while Derpy was back at square one; the former, rather than assist his struggling student, began collecting dry leaves and grass along with some twigs and fallen branches. As Derpy continued to struggle, frequently being forced to go back two steps after realizing she’d missed something yet again in her tent set up, Aucune retrieved a piece of flint and a steel striker from his own pack along with a char cloth, and next began constructing a tinder nest. By the time Derpy finally had an adequate tent pitched, Aucune had already in the meantime gotten a small fire going and was busy munching on an apple when his flustered pupil came over.
“How’s the old adage go Miss Hooves?” Aucune asked with some mirth between bites. “Ah yes, I believe it was ‘slow and steady wins the race’.”
“Yeah, well, as far as I know the tortoise was racing on a full stomach,” Derpy grumbled, grabbing the first apple she dug up from her pack and sitting on her haunches near the fire opposite Aucune. Hungrily biting into it, Derpy savored every mouthful; it might’ve been just an ordinary apple, but right then it tasted as sweet as ambrosia. Three apples and two hay sandwiches later, Derpy’s hunger had finally been sated, and she stared into the fire, not thinking about anything in particular, just giving the gears in her head a rest. After a few moments of quiet repose Aucune broke the silence.
“So… do you still want to know how life’s treated a unicorn without any magic?”
Derpy raised her eyes and met Aucune’s own, nodding.
“If you’re still willing, I’m listening.”
“Very well then. Where to begin? I suppose the start’s as good a place as any. I was born in Canterlot to an old unicorn family. We certainly weren’t the wealthiest nobles in Canterlot by any means; after all, most of our money was old money passed down from generation to generation, not invested in anything whatsoever, just sitting in heaps in decrepit old vaults. But what we did have was social status, and a fair bit of it if I do say so myself; mother and father’s families were two of the oldest in all of Canterlot, so naturally they ranked quite high in the city’s social hierarchy, and relished everything that came along with said status. If there was a fashion trend sweeping the city, they had to be the first to know: if there was a major social event going on, they had to be there: if there were some frivolous item being touted as a must have for anypony who was anypony, they had to have it!”
“To be brief, my parents were perfectly happy wasting their lives away on petty activities and raising their children to do the same. But then I came along. The youngest of five, my parents believed I’d be as picture perfect as the rest and only increase the family’s image and status as I was expected to. Life’s funny sometimes though, that’s for sure.”
As Aucune recounted his childhood, he stared steadily into the fire, his grey eyes shining in the flames’ glow. An unsettling tranquility resonated from him, an indefinable aloofness, like the calm before a storm that may or may not break any second now. Derpy remained silent, not out of fear, but respect; she could tell already that this was a difficult memory for Aucune to go back to, and she appreciated that he was willing to relate any of it to her at all.
“I was eight when mother and father started growing concerned. Up until then my childhood had been uneventful enough; I’d excelled in all of my school work, had good friends, and there wasn’t a thing in the world I couldn’t have if I wanted it. Around that time, however, my parents began to notice that not a mite of adolescent unicorn magic seemed to be surging from me. Most unicorns don’t start having magical surges on a regular basis until they’re twelve or thirteen, but intellectually advanced individuals are generally the exception to that rule. Higher cognitive skills allow a unicorn to tap into their magical potential at an early age, so it didn’t make sense that a gifted student such as myself shouldn’t be displaying any magical talent whatsoever. Furthermore, they remembered that as a foal I’d had none of the random magical surges common to all baby unicorns, no matter what their magical ability ended up being in adulthood. By the time I was ten and had still not exhibited any magic at all, enough was enough, and naturally they did what any of the Canterlot nobility would do when confronted with a baffling conundrum: sought professional help.”
“We must’ve visited dozens of experts to look into my case: doctors, psychologists, mages and magical theoreticians, even a couple of herbalists! I tried everything from prescriptions to physical stimulation, endured a bevy of spells meant to arouse my “magical reserves” from just about every notable conjurer in Canterlot, and even tried a number of herbal remedies. Nothing worked in the slightest. Finally, our family physician, after corresponding with a number of doctors we’d visited, came to us with the news that, in his professional opinion, I was what the medical community referred to as sine magicis artibus, a genetic defect that nopony really understands since it affects so few unicorns. Not that my parents cared about that little detail; if anything the fact that it was so rare and unheard of only made things worse for them. Suddenly their perfect little family in their perfect little world was flawed; it contained a genetic mistake, bizarre, uncommon, and potentially highly embarrassing to the whole family. Couldn’t very well allow that, now, could they?”
Sheesh, and I thought I had it bad. I mean, sure I’ve always had trouble flying, but at least I can fly. A unicorn with no magic at all in a noble family; might as well be a pegasus with clipped wings and a Wonderbolt for a parent to boot!
“Of course things only went downhill from there. In their “benevolent wisdom”, mummy and daddy decided to pull me from my classes and keep me cooped up at home where I wouldn’t be able to bring any shame to the family’s good name. If I was more naïve it might not have hurt so much, but by that point I was smart enough to know that I was more or less being placed under house arrest by my own parents. For six years I endured their debasement, six long years. In all that time the only ponies I saw beyond the family and servants were more and more “experts” brought in to try to coax my nonexistent magic into action. The whole lot of them were nothing more than a bunch of fools, hacks, and con artists, but still they came, preying on my family’s desperation and stupidity. I was a prisoner in my own home, the only pony I could rely on at all to ensure my very survival. My intelligence was the only weapon I had in all this time, and so I nurtured it as best I could, reading whatever I could get my hooves on, whether from the family library or elsewhere. Had I grown dull I would’ve had nothing, and perhaps never made anything of myself.”
“I suppose it goes without saying that the family was of no help at all during this time; my siblings avoided me like the plague, perhaps worried that my condition and shamefulness might rub off on them. Mother always tried to act sweet and kind around me, like she was only trying to protect me and watch out for my best interests, but there was always a hollowness to her words and actions as though she were wearing a mask every time she spoke to me. But father was the worst of them all. He grew to openly loathe me as the years passed and made no secret of it. It didn’t matter that by the time I was thirteen I was smarter than my other four siblings combined, no, nothing that I did mattered at all. All that counted in his eyes was that at sixteen I still had no magic nor any cutie mark to speak of, and as far as he was concerned, that meant that I was a worthless nopony and nothing more. Every time he looked at me all he saw was a disgrace, and he reminded me of it as often as he could.”
The fire’s glow no longer shone alone in Aucune’s eyes; instead, a flame of his own now burned in his withering gaze, and it seemed that more heat resonated from that fiery glare alone than from the flames of the campfire itself. Strangely, his demeanor remained the same; that unearthly, off-putting tranquility that sent chills down Derpy’s spine the more Aucune spun his tale.
“Finally, I’d had enough. It was crystal clear that there was no future for me in that oppressive dungeon, so when I was sixteen I fled. I wandered all over Equestria for a while, looking for something, anything at all to do. I didn’t care what it was, so long as it kept me away from Canterlot it was good enough for me. But it seemed that no matter what I tried, nothing worked; I didn’t have the proper training or certification for higher occupations, but I couldn’t even excel at the simplest of activities. Something was just wrong, some indescribable element missing: a piece of the puzzle without which my whole would remain incomplete. It was a little over a year after I’d run away that everything changed. Suicidal musings had begun to enter my thoughts on occasion, and there’s a great possibility that if things had continued as they had been much longer, I might’ve honestly taken my life rather than live another day a failure. That’s when I met him: the first true brother I ever knew.”
“He found me very much as I found you, actually; just appeared out of the blue one day and approached me while I was drinking away my sorrows in Fillydelphia at some local dive. He told me that he knew who I was and what I had suffered through, that he empathized with my situation; said that he and his associates had been watching me, following me for some time, and that they saw a greatness within me that they believed could be unlocked with the right catalyst. My life began anew that night, and for that I am forever indebted to my mentor and the Order for the opportunity he afforded to me in that bar. Of course I took him up on his offer; how could I not with no other viable option at that point? Now, here I am: no longer a handicapped misfit, but an agent of the Order. I belong now, I belong to a community where I have peers who respect me and a purpose that guides me, a mission I cling to with all my being.”
After a few minutes of waiting anxiously for him to continue, Derpy spoke up.
“Wait, is that it? Oh come on Mister Magique, there must’ve been more between then and now than just ‘I joined, now here I am’! I read fairy tales as a filly with more drawn out conclusions than that. No disrespect, sir,” she added. Aucune just shrugged in return, not even fazed.
“Miss Hooves, you’re asking about more than three decades; sorry, but if I were to recount every chapter of my life, we’d be here well into next week. All that’s really happened since that fortuitous encounter is… life. Before I joined the Ordo Extraordinarii, I was not in control of any aspect of my life; everything about it was askew and out of balance, sheer chaos. But since then I and I alone have been the master of my own destiny, and that’s enough for me. I’ve had my successes and failures, overcome countless challenges only for more to arise, known love as well as the pain of having it trampled upon. I’ve made dozens of friends who’ve all left varying impressions on my life and lost plenty as well, and it never hurts any less when I do. But whatever’s happened to me, be it good or bad, I’ve owned it all, all of it, plain and simple; dignity comes with that total responsibility over one’s affairs, the dignity of not just being anypony, but somepony, and that is priceless Miss Hooves.”
Dignity. Despite all she’d done already, that precious quality continued to elude Derpy. It didn’t matter if the Order’s members treated her like one of their own, an equal. At the end of the day, besides speaking volumes about their character, it didn’t mean a thing at all for Derpy herself. She was still a klutz, a bumbling fool, just anypony and not somepony. She wasn’t herself yet, what she could be, wanted to be, knew she just had to be. Anything less wasn’t good enough anymore and she knew it, and that insight ate her up inside like a worm burrowing through her core. What did she have to do to become Derpy? What had he done to become Aucune? Would she really leave this mountain a new mare, or was it all for naught?
“Well? Satisfied Miss Hooves?”
“Almost. Just one more thing: when did that show up?” she asked, pointing a hoof at his cloud cutie mark. She’d been wondering about that curious feature of his for some time, and she figured now was as good a time as any to find out more about it.
The faintest smile finally broke through Aucune’s neutral demeanor and he now stared into the fire with a wistful expression. “What, this old thing? Didn’t show up until sometime after I’d completed my training with the Order. I’d been starting to think I might be a blank flank my whole life, which really didn’t seem liked it’d be all that bad. Didn’t want something like that, a single physical feature that some ponies would try to define me by. What a ridiculous notion indeed!”
“In any case, shortly after I’d finished my training I did something that a few years earlier I couldn’t have dreamed of: I returned home. There were no bells and whistles or anything like that. I just went home to see mother and father, to let them know I was alright and show them that I’d made something of my life. Father was the only one I saw; we talked, but nothing good came of it. No matter what I said, no matter how many things I showed him I could do, the stupid old bastard couldn’t get over the fact that I still had no magic or cutie mark. For every talent I had, for every art I showed him I’d mastered, that hateful codger only had insults and contempt to hurl right back at me. In the end, we had a falling out, a very bad one indeed, and I broke all ties with my family that day. When I left, that’s when this came, and you know something, it felt right for me, it really did.”
Huh… that’s weird. Never heard of somepony getting a cutie mark after a huge falling out with their family, much less being happy about it. Wonder what that means his special talent is? Arguing?
Pondering Aucune’s cutie mark would have to wait, however, as he suddenly blindsided Derpy. “Alright Miss Hooves, your turn. Tell me about your demons.”
“What?” Derpy managed to blurt out. “Now hold on, I- I don’t think I’m ready to talk about that. Can’t we just, um, sleep on it or something? I mean, we’ve had a long day and you must be awfully tired; wouldn’t it be better to do this in the morning when we’re wide awake?” Derpy feigned the biggest yawn she could, stretching her hooves and wings wide as she tried to sell her excuse. Unfortunately Aucune wasn’t having any of it.
“Now, now Miss Hooves, it’s only fair,” he countered, his voice measured but firm. “I told you, at your request, a great deal about my life; it’s only right that you grant me the same courtesy. Besides, we’re not here for me, but for you. This isn’t just a courtesy you owe me, it’s an obligation you owe to yourself. If you want to overcome your demons, you have to revisit and recognize them so that you might transcend them.”
“But I –”
“It’s time, Miss Hooves.”
“That’s –”
“It is time. I know you’re scared; after all, the truth is a scary thing to confront. But it’s time, Miss Hooves. So tell me, please, for your own good: what made you into the mare you are today?”
For a moment longer Derpy just stared at Aucune with a pained expression, her mouth hanging open, searching for words that wouldn’t come. She knew there was no getting out of it now, had known that this was coming ever since Aucune had told her she was ready for this two days ago. Hay, for all she knew some small corner of her mind might’ve known this was coming when she’d made the decision to pursue this whole crazy undertaking over a month ago. Before that things were so much less complicated. She’d had a steady job, some good friends, and lived in a nice community; was it really all that bad?
Well… yes. Yes it was. That’s not me, not all of me at least. That’s never been me. I’m sick and tired of this… whatever this mental stumbling block is, I’ve got to hurdle it for good.
Still she just sat there, taking slow breaths and looking at the ground at nothing in particular, her face vacant. She wanted to talk, but nothing came. Thankfully, she had help close at hoof.
“Why don’t we start with something easy Miss Hooves, from the beginning?” Aucune gently suggested. It must’ve sounded like a good idea because a moment later Derpy slowly nodded. “Alright then, let’s start simple: where were you born?”
“Cloudsdale.”
“And your parents: who were they? Were they both in your life?” Aucune asked the latter question with great delicacy.
“Mom was mostly the only one around. Not that they were separated or anything, well, not that way,” Derpy hurriedly clarified. “Dad’s a unicorn, you see. Professor at Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns actually, though when I was a filly he was still getting his doctorate. Wasn’t until I was about seven that he finally got it. Not that anything really changed; he still spent most of his time working in Canterlot.”
The slightest hint of resentment did not escape Aucune’s attentive ears. “Did you have a… strained relationship with your father?”
“I wouldn’t say it was strained. More like we were just… distant, is all. Not that I knew any better, I was just a filly, but yeah, I guess you could say dad’s parenting was definitely different from mom’s, and all the time he had to spend away from home certainly didn’t help. He loved mom, I know he did, but me… I don’t know, I guess I wasn’t what he expected is all. Didn’t hate me or anything, I just don’t think he ever knew what to make of me no matter what mom said.” It was starting to come a little easier now, all these things she’d known for years to be true but had kept pent up inside, hidden away. Sort of felt liberating really, like a big weight being lifted from her shoulders, but Derpy knew that could all change in an instant if she weren’t careful.
“Tell me about your mother. What was she like?”
“Best mom a filly could ask for!” Derpy declared with confidence. “I know every pony says that about their mom, but believe me, if there were an award for ‘Best Mom Ever’, my mama put forth ten times more effort than pretty much anypony else could ever hope to. Just came naturally to her, really, being a mother and all. Guess that’s another reason dad not being around that much didn’t particularly bother me; mom was always there whenever I needed someone. First day of school, first time I flew, you name it, mom was there.”
“So was she a stay at home parent then?” The small smile that’d been steadily growing as Derpy recalled memories of her beloved mother darkened slightly.
“No… no, she wasn’t actually. Like I said, dad didn’t have his doctorate until quite some time after I was born, so he wasn’t exactly raking in bits. Besides our own needs, mom was also too decent a pony to worry about me alone. She loved helping anypony she could; I don’t know if it was out of a sense of duty or something, but for whatever reason she was always aiding others however and whenever she could. With plenty of jobs to go around in Cloudsdale, and her enthusiasm for public service, mom got the best one she could think of: she joined the Cloudsdale Weather Brigade.”
“Impressive,” Aucune remarked, “Your mother must have been quite the flier to secure a position as prestigious as that.”
“You bet!” Derpy confirmed, welling up with pride. “Only the best of the best are accepted into the Cloudsdale Weather Brigade. They don’t have the fastest fliers, don’t need ‘em; what they want are the toughest fliers, pegasi who can endure all kinds of crazy weather conditions. You wouldn’t have known it from looking at her, but my mom was tough as nails! If there was something that needed doing, she’d get it done without so much as batting an eye, even if that something was tussling with a twister or an out-of-control blizzard. She put in such great work as a weather pony that eventually she got promoted to Squad 7, one of the most distinguished squads in the entire weather brigade.”
“Your mother sounds like she was a remarkable mare. To find the time to excel at both being a mother and a job like that? Devotion must have been a virtue near and dear to her heart.”
“You can say that again. If there was some freak accident at the weather factory, she’d be there cleaning it up. She’d almost always find a way to lend a helping hoof in any family emergency. And if somepony made fun of the way my eyes got derped up now and then, mom would be there in an instant reminding me they were something to be proud of, something that made me unique and different from everypony else.”
“It really was something having a mom like that, a mom everyone looked up to and who did all she could to give me the best fillyhood possible. I think most meaningful of all was her reassuring presence; no matter what, whenever she was around, spurring me on, it was like there wasn’t a thing I couldn’t do. I mean, I was the first filly in my class to fly. Me! Can you believe that? And it was all because of her. She just had this way of inspiring anypony to be the best they could be, believe they could accomplish anything with enough effort.”
She paused in her recounting, a longing look in her eyes and a sad smile plastered on her face. A dam of hesitancy stayed her tongue, holding back the words straining to pour forth from her mouth.
“You and I both know that’s not the whole story Miss Hooves. You’re here now, and it’s not because you had the best fillyhood anyone could ask for. Something changed.” Without a word Derpy slowly nodded, silently acknowledging the truthfulness of Aucune’s postulation.
“It’s time Miss Hooves. Ever since you made your choice in that prison cell, everything has been building up to this moment. It’s here, now, and it’s time to confront it once and for all. There’s no turning back. What changed Miss Hooves? Why are you here now with me, and not elsewhere, living a happy, normal life?”
I know it. I know where it began, all of it. But I can’t relive it, not again, not again. It hurt so much already, and it’ll hurt just as bad. I don’t want to blame her, because that’s not fair, that’s simply not fair… but I can’t deny that that’s where it all began. I guess if some good comes out of this, if my life really somehow takes a turn for the better, then it’ll all be worth it in the end, right? She’d want that wouldn’t she, for me to finally be happy, be the mare she always knew I could be?
Mom, if you’re listening, please, just… help me be careful. This is gonna be so hard, so painful, and I don’t want to get anything wrong. I don’t want to turn into something I’m not because I misremember anything, anything at all. Help me emerge from this as the pony you always knew I could be, the pony I’ve always wanted to be. Please mom.
Once she’d mustered enough determination, Derpy finally found the courage to go on. “I was eight. Dad was away in Canterlot, busy at his new job as a full time professor, but we were hoping he’d be home soon for spring break. With winter at an end the weather factory was closing down all its snow plants and reopening the rain plants in full force; April is always one of the busiest months in Cloudsdale, what with all the spring shower orders to fill. They’d needed so much help that year that they were hiring dozens of pegasi right out of flight school. That system wasn’t always the safest; weather work can get dangerous real fast, and only experienced pegasi should ever handle some of the more volatile weather output. But it’d become something of a habit by that point, and with weather demands growing all the time the city authorities were hard pressed to find a better alternative.”
“Eventually, however, it finally did bite ‘em in the flank, and in a bad way…”
Derpy was just starting to drift to sleep when suddenly-
BOOM
“Ah! Mama! Mama!” she cried, pulling her covers up over her head.
A second later a bleary-eyed Ditzy Hooves entered the room. “Don’t worry Derpy, I’m here, I’m here. Thunder again?”
Derpy nodded, the top half of her head just poking out from beneath the covers. “It’s so loud tonight. Why is it so loud Mama?”
“I don’t know sweetie. But you know how busy things get this time of year; weather factory’s probably just got a surplus of storms is all. You want me to stay with you?” Derpy considered for a moment before quickly nodding, her tiny head moving rapidly up and down.
“OK, scoot over ya little bedbug, mama bedbug’s coming in.” Sliding beneath the covers of the cloud mattress Ditzy snuggled up tightly next to Derpy, wrapping one of her wings around her daughter in a warm, comforting embrace. The filly giggled, tickled by the feathers, but before long she was snoozing once more, head resting against her mother’s soft coat, and Ditzy’s eyes were slowly starting to close themselves when a new noise stirred them both awake: a frantic, loud rap at the front door.
After listening for a minute longer to confirm she wasn’t just hearing things, Ditzy, much to Derpy’s dismay, removed her soothing wing-cover and got up from bed to investigate.
“Don’t go Mama!” Derpy pleaded.
“It’s OK Derpy, I’ll only be gone for a minute, I promise,” Ditzy reassured her in as calming a voice as possible. Another thunderous crash suddenly sounded outside and the pounding on the door increased, more frantic than ever. “One minute, I promise!” Ditzy repeated, a worried look on her face as she left the room in haste. By now Derpy had dove underneath the covers, shivering with fright from the deafening noises of thunder that seemed louder than even before. Beneath her covers she could partially hear what sounded like her mother talking to someone. She couldn’t really make out what they were saying, but as they continued both voices rose and seemed to become more distressed by the minute.
A few minutes after she’d left Ditzy flew back in the room, garbed in her weather pony uniform, complete with tan suit, goggles, and bright yellow helmet. Derpy peered from beneath the covers once more, staring at her mother in confusion; she rarely if ever wore her full gear.
“Mama, it’s nighttime, why are you all dressed up?” she asked.
“There’s no time to explain. Derpy, I need you to be a brave filly right now and do exactly what mama says, OK? Now, we’re going for a little sleepover at your Aunt Dot’s house; doesn’t that sound like fun?”
“Oh boy, Aunt Dot, I-”
“Great! But we have to leave right now if we want to get there on time, so climb on my back and hang on tight.”
“But Mama, I can fly there, Aunt-” Derpy began to protest before being abruptly cutoff.
“Derpy, get on my back this instant!” Ditzy barked in a tone she rarely used save for when Derpy was being especially naughty. Unlike those times, however, this time Derpy wasn’t sure what she’d done wrong, and recoiled in fear and confusion. Taking a deep breath, her mother regained her composure and cautiously approached the bedside.
“I’m sorry Derpy, that was wrong of me, I shouldn’t have yelled. You didn’t know any better. I know you can fly there, but mama just really needs to get you to Aunt Dot’s house as fast as possible right now. I still need you to be brave, OK? You need to get up here, shut your eyes, and hold on tight. Can you do that for mommy?” Derpy was still confused and a little scared even, but she didn’t want to let her mama down. Without a word she buzzed her tiny wings, flitting over to Ditzy, where she lighted down upon her back and wrapped her hooves around her neck.
With Derpy in tow Ditzy sped away from the room to their front porch, where a thickset stallion adorned in the same weather pony gear as Ditzy was waiting.
“C’mon Ditz, we don’t have time for this. Cap’n was very explicit that the chief needs everypony, and I do mean everypony, on the double; we need to go right now!”
“Flash, I don’t think Frostbite’s gonna miss lil’ ol’ me for five more minutes, and I sure as hay am not leaving Derpy home alone,” Ditzy insisted, brushing him aside.
“Now hang on-”
Quick as a flash Ditzy spun around, her eyes aflame. “Flash, all I need is five minutes to get my daughter somewhere safe; I think I’ve earned that! If you think for one minute that I’m copping out, that I won’t be there, well then shame on you Flash Flood, I guess you’re not the friend I thought you were! Now outta my way; you go, join the others and tell Downpour I’m on my way, OK?”
Thoroughly subdued from the verbal thrashing, Flash Flood backed off, nodding his head apologetically before flying off.
“Ready Derpy?” Ditzy called, looking over her shoulder. The filly nodded, still at a loss as to what exactly was happening but trusting that her mother knew exactly what to do.
“Alright then, remember what mama said; hold on tight and close your eyes until we get to Aunt Dot’s. Whatever you do, don’t let go and do not open your eyes! Ready? OK then, here we go.” A few powerful beats of her wings, and they were off.
“Things only got weirder when we left home. The whole way to my aunt and uncle’s place, even with my eyes shut, I could tell something was off besides mom’s behavior. The thunder just kept getting louder and louder; it was seriously the most deafening thing I’d ever heard in my life. On top of that, there was a crazy headwind blowing against us the whole way there. I really did have to hold on for dear life; thankfully, mom cut what was usually a five minute trip down to two minutes, even with the awful winds. I hoped that the worst was over, but it was only when we got to Aunt Dot’s that I began to realize just how bad things really were shaping up…”
“Ditzy? What on cloud, it’s two in the-”
“Dot, this is an emergency, so listen close. I need you and Silver to let Derpy stay the night, is that alright?” Ditzy rattled off, breathless after her hurried flight over. Her half-awake sister blinked at her words, still trying to process just what the flying feather was going on.
“Derpy? Uh, sure, yeah, we can do that,” Dot said, just now noticing her niece seated on Ditzy’s back. Derpy appeared to be shaking and for some reason her eyes were shut tight, face scrunched up into the most peculiar expression.
“Mama, can I open my eyes now?” she squeaked.
“Yes sweetie, go right ahead,” Ditzy replied, gently lowering the shuddering Derpy from her back. “You were very brave, Derpy. You did exactly what mommy told you to, and I’m very proud of you for that.” Ditzy took off her helmet and nuzzled Derpy, trying to calm her down and allay her fears. As she began to process the scene unfolding before her, Dot cut in, now fully awake.
“Ditzy, what the hay’s going on? Why are you here, all dressed up in your weather pony gear, in the middle of the night?” she asked with a hint of concern. From behind her the sound of a loud yawn was heard as a tired stallion appeared, rubbing his eyes.
“Dot, what’s goi- oh, hey Ditzy, hey Derpy,” he bid welcome before letting loose another massive yawn.
“Hey Silver,” Ditzy half-acknowledged, quickly turning her attention back to Dot. Derpy remained silent, hugging her mother’s foreleg as she tried to steady her shaken nerves and be a brave filly for her mommy. Noticing how scared she still was, Ditzy pulled Dot closer to her and whispered something in her ear; as she spoke, Dot’s eyes widened in alarm.
“What? Category Eight?! Tha- that doesn’t seem possible, I’ve never-” Ditzy cut her off, emphatically gesturing towards the scared filly clinging to her, and Dot, getting the message, promptly toned it down. “Right, sorry,” she atoned. “So they’re seriously calling everypony up?”
“Every last one. Flash Flood even said that most of the emergency volunteer weather brigades are being scrambled. All told we’re looking at probably over 500 ponies getting in on this job, and we’re gonna need every last one of ‘em.”
“Hey wait, Ditzy,” Silver Smith interjected, “is this about that crazy weather outside? Boy, I tell ya, sure ain’t seen nothing like that befo-”
“Shut it Silver!” Dot snapped, much to her husband’s surprise. “You said it’s blowing south, right? Can’t they just let it, I don’t know, exhaust itself, you know, take its own natural course and blow out over the Everfree Forest?” Ditzy shook her head.
“Wish we could, but there’s some village smack dab in the storm’s path between here and the Everfree. If we don’t act immediately that storm’s gonna pulverize it, and there won’t be a town left to speak of in the morning.”
“Oh Celestia,” Dot breathed. She seemed to be trying to find the right words, perhaps some excuse that’d get Ditzy out of this mess, but in the end she just threw her forelegs around her in a tight embrace. “I know you’ve gotta do this, but promise me you’ll be safe, OK? You, you… big, dumb featherbrain, you!” she choked out. The gravity of the situation was just sinking in for Dot and she was struggling to keep a stiff upper lip.
“Hey, it’s me we’re talking about here. I’ll be fine, don’t you worry ‘bout a thing; got the best squadmates a mare could ask for, and we’re gonna wrangle this storm up real good, just you wait and see!” For some inexplicable reason Ditzy’s words seemed to ring hollow, but she returned Dot’s hug with just as much fervor, and for a moment the siblings clung to each other. Finally Ditzy broke away, just one more thing left to do before reporting for duty. Now came the really hard part.
“Derpy,” she started, eyes turning to her daughter, “you be a good little filly and do everything that Aunt Dot and Uncle Silver tell you to, OK? Don’t get into any trouble or anything, get some sleep, and in the morning I’ll-”. She caught herself and stopped midsentence, well aware of the terrible mistake she’d almost made. The last thing she wanted to do was deceive the pony she cherished most, make a promise to her that she might not be able to keep. Still, she couldn’t bring herself to leave Derpy with that kind of dread. While she struggled to find the right words, a soft mewling caught her attention.
“Mama, I don’t want you to go,” Derpy whimpered. “Can’t you stay here with me and Aunt Dot and Uncle Silver?” Smiling warmly down at her, a sad look in her eyes, Ditzy bent down and gently nuzzled her filly.
“Oh Derpy, I’d like nothing better, but I have to do this. We’ve all got responsibilities, and right now I’ve got to keep mine, otherwise a lot of ponies might lose their homes or even worse. You wouldn’t want that, now, would you?” Derpy shook her head. “I love you Derpy, I love you so very much. You need to know that. No matter what happens, I will always love you; no matter what happens, I promise you, I will always be there for you, even if it’s not the same.”
Kneeling down to her level, Ditzy clasped her Derpy in the tightest hug a mother’s love could possibly muster. It was only with great reluctance that she finally let go, and after taking one last look at her daughter and planting a tender kiss on her forehead, Ditzy determinately got up, strapping her helmet on and easing back into a confident posture.
“You guys keep a pot of coffee good and piping hot for me, you hear?” she bid, cracking a winning grin. “Celestia knows I’ll need a nice cup of Joe or two after tonight. Now get some shuteye, all of you; don’t you worry, we’ll have this mess cleaned up before you know it!” With one last wave goodbye, Ditzy opened the front door and departed. Leaping from the front porch, she spread her wings and took to the air, flying into the darkness towards duty’s call. In the distance an ominous, low rumble could be heard, thundering across the night sky.
“Believe it or not, scared as I was, I actually slept like a foal for the rest of the night. Don’t know how, to be honest; guess I was just trying to be a good filly for auntie and unc like mom wanted. Maybe I wanted to tell her when she got back just how brave I’d been, that no thunder or lightning would scare me and I could be just as fearless as she was, or… maybe I was just one really, really tired filly. Whatever the case, after she left the thunder didn’t really bother me anymore. I just curled right up on the couch in the living room and slept like a rock till early in the morning…”
Knock-knock-knock
The lids of Derpy’s eyes cracked open just a smidge. Some sort of dull pounding sound coming from the front of the house had awoken her, which was too bad seeing as she’d been having the most amazing dream an eight-year old filly could ask for: clouds as far as the eye could see made out of muffins, and they’d all been hers for the taking! Even as she floated up from the depths of her subconscious she could still practically taste the muffiny-goodness on the tip of her tongue.
As she got her bearings, Derpy surveyed her surroundings; a few stray rays of the early morning sun shone through a couple of windows in the living room. Uncle Silver was laying spread out on a makeshift cloud recliner he’d thrown together for the night, snoring loudly, while Aunt Dot was lying next to Derpy on the couch, wrapped in a blanket of cloud cover. Convenient thing about clouds for pegasi: they could shape them into pretty much anything they needed to, from furniture and household appliances to even the very homes they lived in. Besides, there wasn’t really any other way to have a city in the sky. Aside from pegasi themselves, the only solid materials imbued with cloud-walking magic were thunderforged steel and magically enchanted items, both of which were expensive to make and hard to come by.
Knock-knock-knock-knock-knock
The knocking from the front of the house came again, this time more insistent. The two adults slowly began to stir from their slumber, disturbed by the pounding as well. However, before they were fully awake, the more alert Derpy put two and two together.
“Mama!” she cried with glee, leaping down from the couch and scampering to the front door quick as her little hooves could carry her. Startled by her sudden outburst of energy, Dot and Silver shot up from where they lay, blinking in surprise as they attempted to comprehend just what was going on.
“Derpy, wait!” Dot called out in vain. By the time she’d gotten up from the sofa, Derpy had already made it to the front door. In her excitement she eschewed opening the door in favor of bolting right through the cloudy mass.
“Mama!” she cried. Upon bounding through the door, however, Derpy found herself face to face with a cerulean stallion with a messy rainbow-colored mane, dressed in a police uniform. For an instant the two blankly stared at one another, both equally caught off guard by the other’s appearance. After a few seconds of awkward silence, Derpy spoke up.
“You’re not mama,” she said matter-of-factly.
“Erm,” the police officer mumbled, shifting uncomfortably. A second later Dot and Silver Smith finally answered the door, much to the officer’s relief. While Silver still looked half asleep, Dot, like Derpy, was already wide awake, and tensed up upon seeing the policepony on her front porch.
“Officer, wh-what can we d-do for you?” she managed to stammer out.
“Corporal Bow Hothoof reporting, ma’am. I’m looking for a Mrs. Dot Doo,” he stated.
“This is she.”
“You are the sister of Sergeant Ditzy Doo, Squad 7 of the Cloudsdale Weather Brigade?”
“Yes,” Dot breathed, barely discernible. As if foreseeing what he was about to say next, however, Dot suddenly snapped awake from the veritable daze she’d been in, turning to her husband. “Silver, why don’t you take Derpy to the kitchen and make her some breakfast. Maybe some coffee for our guest as well while you’re at it.”
Blinking blearily, Silver idly yawned while his wife’s words sank in, until Dot gave him a sharp nudge in the side. “Oh, um, yeah, sure thing honey,” he replied. “C’mon Derpy, let’s go get you some breakfast.”
“But what about mommy? Shouldn’t we wait for her?”
“Oh I’m sure she’ll be along shortly. This way we can have breakfast waiting for her when she gets back. She’d like that, now, don’t you think?”
“OK! We can have a big breakfast and everything ready for her. Maybe we can even get some muffins later. Mama always likes a muffin to start the day!” Following her uncle’s lead, the two trotted back to the kitchen while Dot turned her attention back to Officer Hothoof.
“If you could step outside with me for a moment ma’am; it’s about your sister,” he requested, a somber air in his speech.
“Y-yeah… yeah sure,” Dot said automatically. Stepping onto the front porch, she delicately shut the door behind her.
Back in the kitchen things were a bit more lackluster than Derpy had expected. Silver Smith had fetched a couple of apples from the ice-cloud for the two of them, but beyond that he’d made no attempts at putting together a proper breakfast, not even so much as sticking a pot of coffee on the cloud-cooker. Truth be told, Derpy thought he was acting very silly; he seemed real fidgety at the table, and kept looking at the kitchen entry between idle bites of his apple.
“Uncle Silver, shouldn’t we be getting things ready for breakfast, like eggs and stuff?” she asked. Much to her disappointment, Silver merely waved off her question.
“Finish your apple Derpy,” he bade, “then, uh, we’ll start putting some things together, OK?”
“But Uncle Silver.”
“What?”
“I’m already done,” Derpy pointed out, an apple core in her hoof.
“Oh… well then, um, here, have another,” he suggested, retrieving another apple from the ice-cloud, which Derpy accepted confusedly. Silver went back to acting all weird, glancing out the kitchen every five seconds.
Derpy was busy munching away at her second apple when Dot entered. Silver rose from his seat, waiting with bated breath, while conversely Derpy turned in her seat to greet her.
“Hi Aunt Dot, want an- Aunt Dot, what’s wrong?” Dot appeared to be in a stupor, eyes wide with shock and welling with tears, and her mouth kept closing and opening sporadically. It was like she was trying to say something, only, no words were forthcoming. Hopping down from her seat, Derpy approached her cautiously, unsure what to do. “Aunt Dot, what’s wrong? Did the policepony say something mean? Is mama back yet, maybe she’ll know what to do?”
At that, Dot broke down; rushing forward, she stooped to Derpy’s level and threw her hooves around her, enveloping her in a tight grip whilst sobbing uncontrollably.
“Oh Derpy… ohhhhh Derpy! I’m s-so sorry! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry Derpy! I just, I… I… I’m so sorry!” She buried her face in her niece’s shoulder, weeping like a newborn foal. Somewhere in the recesses of Derpy’s mind, something was suddenly triggered, an instinctive fear innate in all sentient beings that started putting together a terrible puzzle the little filly didn’t want to finish.
“Aunt Dot… where’s mama?” she asked. “Where’s mama? Where’s mama?”
“An investigation determined that some rookies at the weather factory had somehow managed to store two Category Five thunderstorms in the same storage facility. Still don’t know how those boneheads pulled that one off, but protocol’s always dictated that no two storms, no matter how big or small, are supposed to share any facility. The two storm systems combined and grew to Category Eight proportions; putting that in perspective, Cloudsdale had never produced anything larger than a Category Six, and that was part of a drought relief effort overseas in Griffonia. The supercell storm, pretty much the equivalent of a manufactured hurricane by that point, leveled its storage facility and started blowing south. It took every available weather pony in Cloudsdale, along with even a few police squads and drafted weather factory workers, to diminish it to a strong but harmless Category Four shower.”
“Were there any other casualties?” Aucune asked.
“Nope, just… just my mom.” Derpy stared into the ebbing flames of the dwindling fire. Aucune gave her a moment before pressing further.
“When did she go down?”
“They weren’t sure. Didn’t realize she was even missing until after the storm had been brought under control. Squad 7 was positioned at the wall cloud all night, somewhere in the middle of the storm; it wasn’t the area of highest precipitation, but it was where the most violent winds of the storm were to be found. The weather brigade brass were worried that the wall cloud might produce a tornado if it weren’t brought under control, so Squad 7 and a few of the other elite squads were placed there. The violent winds meant squads eventually started getting separated, and at that point it came down to desperate, individual efforts dissipating the wall cloud. Won’t ever know if it was the wind, getting struck too many times by lightning, or even hail, but something stunned mom towards the end when she was on her own that sent her crashing down. They found her afterwards, when they realized she was missing, groundside, near the edge of the Everfree Forest: impact of the fall did it. I only hope it was quick at least; she deserved that much.”
“Is that it then? Is that the source of your demons, the trauma of losing your mother?” Aucune conjectured.
“Not entirely. I mean, yeah, losing my mom was awful, the most terrible thing that had ever happened to me. But it was the aftermath that was the worst. It wasn’t the city or the weather brigade that was the problem; Cloudsdale paid mom’s line-of-duty death benefits no questions asked, and her squadmates were practically family. We didn’t blame them or anything, how could we? They’d been right alongside her in the same mess, and I’m sure none of them had ever expected having to deal with something like that in their lifetimes. No, the worst was… dad.”
“Your father? What did he do?”
“It wasn’t what he did, it was what he didn’t. First a day passed by, no word from dad. Aunt Dot and Uncle Silver figured maybe he hadn’t heard, or he was busy making arrangements to come here. Then another day passed by, and another. And after five days and three letters with no response, each angrier than the last, they started realizing he wasn’t coming. He never came, not to be with his family, to mourn, to take care of me, not even to the feathering funeral.”
Where before there’d been implicit bitterness, now direct, unreserved enmity touched Derpy’s words. “My own father pretty much abandoned me when my mother died, and he did it without saying a word. We haven’t spoken or so much as exchanged a letter since then. And ya know what the worst part was? I didn’t realize it, didn’t really understand that he was running out on me, until mom’s funeral. I was eight, had just lost my mom, and all I wanted was my dad by my side to tell me everything was going to be okay; when I realized he wasn’t gonna be there, might never be there again, it hit me like a ton of bricks…”
A large body had assembled for the proceedings; seemed like virtually all the townsfolk had suspended the day’s business to watch. The funeral procession set out from city hall at the center of town. A hearse, lent by the town’s mortician and drawn by a pair of local farmers who’d volunteered their services, led the way. Inside lay the casket, draped in the Equestrian flag; next came a color guard and the pallbearers, all members of Squad 7, smartly clad in their black dress uniforms and caps, followed by Ditzy’s family. Bringing up the rear was the funeral detail, a mixture of dozens of weather ponies from Cloudsdale, including Chief Frostbite himself, along with several old friends of Ditzy’s and even a number of locals who’d felt compelled to pay their respects. All along the route to the edge of town, ponies stopped what they were doing to watch as the procession passed by, maintaining a respectable silence.
She was being laid to rest in a lovely spot: a cleared, grassy knoll right on the edge of the small town she’d helped save. The land had belonged to one of the founding families of the town, a farming family that owned and tended a number of apple orchards in the area. They’d been very insistent about giving the land to Ditzy’s family, and had even planted a lone apple sapling next to where she’d be buried, as a token of the town’s appreciation. Dot, in charge of the funeral arrangements seeing as their parents had passed away some years back (not to mention Ditzy’s husband being a no-show since her passing), had graciously accepted the generous donation. Funeral arrangements were always tricky for pegasi, seeing as cemeteries weren’t a feasible option in Cloudsdale, so families had to find some suitable groundside site instead. Some had their own private burial grounds, such as wealthier families or the ancient Kicker clan, while others’ gravesites were determined based on their occupation, especially if they’d served in the Equestrian military, government, or some other public service. There were, however, entire public cemeteries reserved solely for pegasi and their families, the land purchased years earlier by the city of Cloudsdale.
While the site of Ditzy’s burial was somewhat unusual for pegasi in its isolated setting, Dot thought it appropriate given the way her sister had laid down her life in the line of duty. A sacrifice like that deserved a special way to remember it by; nothing too over the top, just a locale with a quiet, restrained dignity to it. Besides, the locals really wouldn’t take no for an answer, and it was a truly beautiful spot; it seemed only fitting that Ditzy should get to look out in her final resting place over the village she’d helped rescue. On this day, clear skies and a resplendent sun highlighted the site’s beauty, imbuing it with a soothing, open warmth, as if it were an old friend ready to welcome a weary soul in an affectionate embrace.
At the bottom of the hill the procession came to a halt, at which point the pallbearers carefully removed the flag-draped casket from the hearse and began the slow ascent up the gentle slope, led by the color guard. When they reached the crest of the hill, the casket was placed on a low pedestal temporarily placed directly adjacent to the freshly dug grave, facing the congregation of mourners. Slowly but surely the procession amassed into a semicircle around the gravesite. Sitting on her haunches directly in the front row center, flanked by her aunt and uncle, was Derpy.
On the surface she seemed to be handling things pretty well all things considered, and maintained a silent, steady composure. A closer look, however, told a different story altogether, namely in looking into her eyes; those eyes, so often prone to slipping into a walleyed state, were now completely level. Staring straight ahead, Derpy kept her gaze fixed on the casket, her eyes devoid of emotion; there was no sorrow, anger, or even love in them, just an empty void of nothing. Now that it was here in front of her, clear as day, the reality of it all was really starting to sink in.
Mom was there, not here. Forever there, never again here. An eternity there, a lifetime not here. Not here. Not here.
She’d never felt such an intense emptiness before. Never again. She’d never see her ever again. Was there any other worse feeling out there, anything at all, than that impossibly oppressive ‘never’? She hoped not. Couldn’t fathom anything at the moment worse than this.
As soon as they’d deposited the casket on its platform, the color guard and pallbearers took position beside it, standing at attention. Stepping out from the front of the funeral detail, Chief Frostbite, an old, grizzled veteran of the weather brigade, moved behind a podium set up to the left of the casket and began delivering the first eulogy. “On a day-to-day basis, Sergeant Doo exhibited the best qualities one could ask for of a weather pony. Her record was impeccable, her service exemplary, and it wasn’t long after joining our ranks that she found herself serving among our finest. According to those who served alongside her, while her natural ability was certainly admirable, the attribute that especially made her stand out from most was her camaraderie. Sergeant Doo displayed a remarkable fellowship with her fellow weather ponies, a fellowship that bolstered amity throughout her whole squad.”
“Teamwork is the essence of any weather squad worth its salt; you could have the most talented group of weather ponies in the world, but they wouldn’t be worth two bits if they couldn’t work together as a team. When we fly headfirst into the storms we are called upon to tame, we fly not only for Equestria, nor even for ourselves, but also for the pony next to us; in the heart of the storm, their lives are as much to us as our own and those we protect from afar. Sergeant Doo understood this perfectly and lived her life according to this principle, dedicating it first and foremost to the service of others and elevating the security of anypony’s well-being above her own, whether they be friends, family, total strangers, or her brothers and sisters in the weather brigade.”
“Clearly such a shining example of not just a model weather pony, but also a good, decent, upstanding pony on just about every level, is an irreplaceable loss, one which pains all of us deeply. But while we are gathered here to mourn this heartbreaking loss, one which came far too soon, we are also just as much here to rejoice, both in the way Sergeant Doo lived and died: serving others. Ditzy died as she lived each and every single day of her life, putting the needs of her fellow pony before herself, and that in itself should be celebrated. There is no nobler action than that of laying down one’s life for the sake of others, and Ditzy’s sacrifice has most certainly not been in vain. For those whom she helped redeem from the storm’s fury, life will carry on much as it did before, when instead it could’ve so easily been cutoff in an instant. For Sergeant Doo herself, while her earthly journey is now complete, a new one has begun, one which we all must take someday when the time is right, and for her, that time is now. Life, now as always, transcends death in all its beauty, both here in our beloved Equestria, and in the light into which our dearly departed sister has now entered, in that happy realm beyond our own. And so I implore you all, mourn for our loss, but rejoice as well for life’s conquering death yet again, as it always has and it always shall so long as there are ponies like Ditzy Doo to fill life with its inestimable beauty and value simply in the way they live.”
Lovely words, really. But for one motherless filly the idea of rejoicing here and now was simply out of the question. Not here. Those two words kept ranging through her mind, like an incessant bell that chimed only heartache. She may be there, where it was bright and warm, and maybe there were even as many muffins as you could hope for, but she wasn’t here.
Not here.
Not here.
Not here.
Not. Here.
Derpy glanced over her shoulder, scanning the crowd for the only balm that might ease her pain. Nope. Not here either.
His eulogy delivered, Chief Frostbite invited any others who wished to do so to step forward and say a few words. To the casual onlooker, the loose, open nature of the eulogistic proceedings might seem a bit unconventional, especially given how formal the funeral had been up until that point. For Equestrians, however, it was a cultural norm, and had been for hundreds of years. Most ponies felt that the most heartfelt expressions for the dead should come naturally and be allowed to unfold when they should, so rather than put together a set list of speakers prior to the ceremonies, anypony in attendance was usually just invited to speak about or commemorate the deceased if they so desired. Undoubtedly an informal way of doing things, but it usually worked like a charm, even at the largest funerals.
Her family was the first to come up. Dot spoke at length about how Ditzy had helped raise her as a filly, and a couple of her closer cousins made some kind remarks as well. Even Uncle Silver said a few words, fondly recalling how Ditzy had unwittingly helped introduce him and Dot when she’d signed her workaholic little sister up for a speed dating session (which Silver just so happened to be attending) behind her back to help her cut loose a little, eliciting more than a few chuckles from the crowd.
After that, all manner of ponies began streaming up: old friends, coworkers, even some of the locals who’d never even known Ditzy. Some reflected on specific memories and the various ways she’d touched their lives, while others simply looked back on her life in general and the way she’d lived it. Still others commemorated Ditzy’s sacrifice, giving praise to her courage or sharing how she’d given them a new appreciation for life after coming so close to losing everything. Despite how many speakers there were, not once did the service get disorderly. It just seemed like whenever someone finished speaking, as soon as they’d left, there was another, ready to take their place in an instant.
Derpy didn’t catch a whole lot of it, though. For one thing, it was just a lot for any filly as young as she was to take in, and besides a few individuals like Aunt Dot or Ditzy’s squadmates, she didn’t even know most of these ponies. But that wasn’t the only reason she was distracted. She kept looking around every which way she could, here, there, everywhere, for the one pony she wanted most right now. Needed the most.
Yet, no matter how hard she looked, no matter how much she wished for it, no matter how many ponies were there… he wasn’t.
And still wasn’t.
And still wasn’t.
Still wasn’t.
She just couldn’t wrap her head around it. Where could he be? She knew where mommy was at least, in a way; she was there, right in front of her. But where was he? Why wasn’t he here? Where else could he possibly be? She knew that eventually she’d have to go up, like all those other ponies, to say goodbye to mama. She knew it, and she also knew that, more than anything else in the world right now, she didn’t want to say goodbye alone. How could she possibly say goodbye alone?
Something suddenly caught her eye, amidst all the eulogies and commemorations. Out of the sea of ponies, a very singular figure abruptly emerged: a royal guard of all things. Derpy had never even seen one before, well, except for some pictures in books; what was this one doing at mama’s… what was she doing here? It seemed Derpy wasn’t the only one caught off guard; a number of the mourners seemed pretty surprised by her sudden appearance. Her armor gleamed in the afternoon sun, polished to a spotless sheen. Atop her head rested a perfectly balanced helmet, its crest a ceremonial black plume, and carefully tucked into her breastplate were two black irises.
With a slow, steady stride, the guard advanced, not towards the podium like most everypony else, but rather, the flag draped casket itself. She carried herself with a very distinct air; not rigid or bombastic, there wasn’t anything stiff or arrogant about it. No, if anything it was dignified. A very natural respectability exuded from her, like she’d moved with this sort of careful deliberateness her whole life. When she came to the casket, she gingerly removed one of the irises from her breastplate with her teeth, careful not to damage it. Then, kneeling on her forelegs, she gently deposited the black flower before the casket, and, when she arose, raised her right hoof in salute, not saying a word. After a moment she turned and made her way back towards the congregation, approaching Derpy and her family. When she was but a few feet in front of them, she stopped and simply nodded. There were no tears in her eyes, or even sorrow, just a sincere look of sympathy. And then, just as fast as she’d appeared, she melted back into the crowd.
After that, Derpy suddenly knew how to do it, even if… even if he didn’t come. After taking one last look over her shoulder just to be sure, she took a tentative step forward. Reacting to her niece’s sudden movement, Dot gently nudged Derpy and stooped to her level.
“Derpy, you doing alright?” she asked in a whisper.
“I… I wanna go up there, Aunt Dot. Please.” Dot looked over at the casket, then, with an understanding look, slowly nodded.
“OK. But I’ll be right here if you need me, alright?” Nodding, Derpy resumed her approach, steadier with each step she took, but still glancing back every few steps. Maybe, just maybe he’d come. But when she did finally reach the casket, she was still alone. Still alone.
Now that she was here, she wasn’t really sure what to do next. Every eye was on her, she just knew it, watching, waiting to see what she’d do. She’d hoped and prayed that in the end, even if it were at the very last second, he’d finally be there with her, be there to say goodbye so she didn’t have to do it alone. But now that she was here, and he still wasn’t, it suddenly hit her: he wasn’t coming. Dad wasn’t coming. He might never come again; if he wasn’t here for her now, when would he be? He hadn’t been there for her once since it’d happened, he wasn’t here now… would he ever be there again? Or did he just not want anything to do with Derpy, anything at all?
He doesn’t want me?
An agonizing pain shot through Derpy as the ugly truth finally dawned on her, worse than anything she’d felt at the loss of her mother.
He doesn’t want me. He really doesn’t want me.
It hurt. It just hurt so much, more than anything she’d ever felt before. It was the hurt of abandonment, the worst kind of abandonment one could possibly feel; forsaken in her hour of need by the one she needed most of all. She’d not only lost one parent now, but both; they’d both left her, in different ways, but the fact remained that they’d both left her, and now she felt so very alone. Unsure what else to do, her heart weighted down by the unbearable pain and sorrow she now felt at her sudden realization, Derpy did the only thing she could do: she cried. The floodgates opened and she simply let loose, leaning against the casket and sobbing uncontrollably into the soft material of the flag.
She didn’t wanna let go, didn’t ever wanna let go, never, ever again. Right now, all she wanted was to stay here for the rest of her life, as close to her mother as she could possibly be. More than anything in the world she didn’t want to be alone, to experience the terrible loneliness that she just knew awaited her as soon as she let go. So she just stood there and cried, and cried and cried and cried, still crying even after she had no more tears to shed.
She didn’t know how long she was up there crying. Time just sort of passed by in a blur. Eventually she felt a soft nuzzle on her face, and realized it was Aunt Dot, doing the only thing she could to comfort her, and that was being there for her. The two tightly embraced, Derpy still weeping vehemently, and Dot shedding a few tears herself in silence. After another indeterminable amount of time had passed, Dot released her niece and gestured back towards the crowd.
“Come on Derpy. You’ve go- it’s time to say goodbye. Okay?” She felt awful saying it, but there simply was no getting around it. One way or another, she had to let go. Derpy knew it too, even if she didn’t want to admit it. Slowly, however, she nodded in understanding, but before they left she turned back to her mother’s casket one last time.
“Goodbye mama. I… I’ll miss you.” And that was it. Everypony else had pretty much already said everything that could possibly be said about Ditzy. This was all that Derpy had needed to say. She’d realized as much after witnessing the royal guard before her, with her simple departing salute; there were just too many things she could say about her mother but didn’t want to think about now, so all she really could do was say goodbye. Nothing wrong with that, nothing at all. The love, the memories, everything she felt for her mother were still there, and always would be, but she didn’t need to think about that right now, didn’t need to talk about it. Right now, all she’d needed to do was say goodbye. She’d done it, and now, hopefully, the hardest part was over.
Nopony else came up after Derpy’s farewell. At Chief Frostbite’s command, two of the pallbearers, Captain Downpour and Lieutenant Daybreak, moved to opposite ends of the casket, carefully removing the flag resting atop it. With precise movements, the pair began the slow, delicate process of folding the flag, handling it with the utmost reverence. Once they’d finished, Downpour took possession of the triangular bundle and handed it off to Chief Frostbite, waiting beside the casket. The handoff effected, Downpour and Daybreak stiffly saluted their superior officer, who returned their salute in kind, before rejoining the other pallbearers.
Frostbite proceeded to the center of the throng, approaching Ditzy’s family. Standing before Derpy, he knelt and proffered the bundled flag, stating, “Derpy, on behalf of Princess Celestia, the Cloudsdale Weather Brigade, and a grateful nation, please accept this flag as a symbol of our appreciation for your loved one’s honorable and faithful service.” Derpy quietly accepted the flag and pressed it against her chest, hugging it with both of her small forelegs.
The rest didn’t take too long after that. The pallbearers promptly lifted the now unveiled casket once more, moving it to its ultimate destination just a few feet away. As they lowered Ditzy into her final resting place, a lone weather pony standing beside the color guard blared a solemn tune on a slide trumpet, one last farewell to the dearly departed. A few minutes later it was finished; after they’d finished burying her, the headstone, a marble bevel marker, was fixed atop the fresh grave. Inscribed below her name were these words: “Faithful to the end to all.”
“Couple weeks and a mountain of legal paperwork later, my aunt and uncle had full custody. Not that dad cared; he never once made the slightest effort to keep me. Didn’t even show up during any of it. Just kept sending his lawyer with orders to sign whatever he needed to in order to hoof me over to them. There wasn’t much Dot or Silver could do about that, really; it’s not like they wanted things to be that way either, but what else could they do? Sure they thought it’d be best if I was with my dad, who wouldn’t? But the way he was acting, they feared for me, feared he was in no condition to take care of me, so they did the next best thing and took me in instead. That’s never really stopped hurting. I mean, I know they love me, and I love ‘em back, but… they’re not dad. He gave me up, he abandoned me when I needed him most: not my aunt, not my uncle, my dad. Barring a miracle, I don’t think that’ll ever stop hurting.”
By now it was well past midnight. It was a particularly dark night, the moon and stars concealed by billowy clouds, and the fire had all but burned out, with nothing but a few glowing embers where vibrant flames had been but a few hours ago.
“So that’s it then. You’re sure that’s where you can mark the turn?” Aucune tactfully asked. Derpy didn’t hesitate to respond. No point in hiding from the truth anymore now that it was out.
“Yep, that’s it all right. That’s when things just… nothing was right anymore. I wasn’t right anymore. Dot and Silver tried their best, but like I said, they weren’t my parents, and when they had triplets about a year after adopting me, well, between their kids and their work, they didn’t exactly have all that much time for me. I don’t resent them for that; I never should’ve been that much a part of their life anyway, so the fact that they were able to do as much as they did for me means a lot to this day. But still, it never quite filled that hole left by mom and dad, and it’s been consuming me ever since. I just didn’t know it. Or, maybe I did and just wasn’t willing to admit it. I don’t know.”
“In any case, yes, things have only gone steadily from bad to worse since then, no matter how you spin it. You’ve seen it yourself: I’m easily distracted, my flying and movements are clumsy at best, and really, I just have a hard time doing anything right at all. When I was starting out on my own I tried to join the weather brigade, like mom; they gave me three chances when they only had to give me one, and I still flunked every last one of ‘em. I just wasn’t a good enough flier. After that, I couldn’t even stay in Cloudsdale, I was so ashamed. My mom had left behind this great legacy, but there I was, a pegasus who could barely even fly in a city full of nothing but pegasi. It was humiliating. So I decided to go groundside instead; figured there had to be something I’d be good at down there.”
“I can imagine that was a difficult decision to make. Born and raised in Cloudsdale your whole life; certainly couldn’t have been easy to leave,” Aucune surmised. “Where did you decide to go?”
“Put a lot of thought into it. I didn’t have too much money of my own, and even though mom had left me a pretty sizeable inheritance, I wanted to save that for something really worthwhile. So after looking at my options, I decided to move to the little village that mom had saved: I went to Ponyville. That wasn’t the only reason I went there, mind you; the town’s young and still growing, so there were lots of jobs and opportunities to be had. But yeah, I guess part of it was I wanted to learn more about the place mom had died for. That, and be close to her I guess… sorta. It sure wasn’t easy at first; I tried to join the local weather team, since a couple of old friends from Cloudsdale and Flight Camp were on it, but I was way too much of a hazard to hire. After searching high and low all over town, I finally got a job with the Ponyville Post Office. Nothing special, but it was a job.”
“Things weren’t so bad after that, or at least I tried to tell myself they weren’t. I quickly developed an “illustrious” reputation as the town dunce, though most ponies weren’t that mean about it, even if they laughed at my many, many blunders. Work was never easy and I always made plenty of mistakes that got me chewed out by my supervisors. But still, Ponyville was good to me, even if life wasn’t; I had a job, a nice little place in town, and some good friends. After keeping at it long enough, I must’ve convinced myself that I shouldn’t ask for any more than that, that I couldn’t expect any more. That was just my lot in life, and I accepted it. Then… then I hit rock bottom.”
“Indeed you did,” Aucune agreed. “How in Equestria did you manage to land yourself in the Manehattan Correctional Facility on, what was it, reckless endangerment charges?”
“Public endangerment, actually,” Derpy sourly corrected. “And let’s just say that I had a delivery to make to Manehattan that went down really badly.” Aucune raised an eyebrow, provoking an exasperated eye roll from Derpy in turn. “Really, really, really badly, OK?” she reiterated once more.
“I’ll take you at your word and leave it at that,” he acceded.
“Thank you. Like I said, I hit rock bottom; I mean, can’t get much worse than prison, right, especially when it’s your own incompetence and nothing else that lands you there? That, and you of course, finally woke me up, made me realize just how wrong my life is. I don’t know what it’s supposed to be yet, but I do know now that it’s not supposed to be that. Maybe it wasn’t so bad, maybe even bearable, but it’s not me, and I can’t live with that anymore. I just can’t, I won’t! But I guess it’s up to me now, where I go from here. In the end, it’s gotta be me who takes control of my life; that’s why we’re up here, right? That’s what we’re here to figure out: if I can be the pony that I want to be.”
“Quite right, Miss Hooves.” For some time after that the two were silent, like they’d forgotten what they were even talking about just now.
“All right, so how do we do this?” Derpy finally asked.
“It’s simple enough in theory. You’ve established what your demons are, and now you must overcome them. You, and you alone.”
“OK, I got that, but how?”
“Think, Miss Hooves. These are demons of the mind and soul, not the body, even if your motor skills do suffer for them. Our faculties are capable of extraordinary feats if called to the task, and here, as far removed from the rest of the world as we could be, your mind can experience a true peace and solitude ideal for begetting the highest cognizance. If you can focus on your demons and nothing else, then salvation will come to you. There is nothing else up here to worry about: no pain, no problems, nopony who needs you. Here, there are only your demons and yourself. Meditate upon them long enough, hard enough, and eventually you will comprehend the path to your new beginning and finally be able to set out on it.”
Somewhat understandably, Derpy was just a bit underwhelmed by Aucune’s directions. Seriously, that’s what they’d climbed all the way up there for? To let her think.
I guess it kinda makes sense in a way. I don’t know what I expected, but I suppose I knew it wouldn’t be anything really melodramatic, like being cured by some sort of magic or anything like that. But really, meditating? He seriously wants me to just think away 16 years’ worth of being unable to do anything right?
“Exactly how long is this supposed to take?”
“As long as is required,” Aucune bluntly answered. “We are not descending this mountain until after you have experienced a profound transfiguration. You must keep your faculties rigidly disciplined throughout the process; you cannot engage in any discourse at any point, either with me or yourself, and you will only eat once a day at a time of your choosing (so choose wisely). You may meditate in this space wherever you desire, and if I were you I’d search very carefully for just the right spot. One should never underestimate the power that an aesthetically pleasing locale can have for restoring peace of mind. Beyond that, I can offer no further assistance; your fate now rests in your own hooves, Miss Hooves. I pray that you may find what you’ve been looking for, here high above the rest of the world.”
OK, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, and… focus.
You know your demons, you just got to overcome them. Simple Derpy, really simple. Well, should be… except it hasn’t been. Whatever, doesn’t matter. Focus.
I can be so much more, want to be, just gotta get over these blocks. So I lost mom and dad 16 years ago, so what? It happened, but that doesn’t define who I am, I do! Mom died, it happened, dad left, it happened, but you know… I mean, it’s not that big of a… shoot, I don’t know, ughhhhh, c’mon, focus!
It won’t hurt anymore if you don’t let it, alright? Forget about it. Forget it, forget it, forget it, forget it, forget it, forget it, forget it, for- oh who am I kidding? I can’t just forget about it! It’s just too much, means too much, changed too much. I can’t just pretend like it never happened, that’s not the answer. But how do I get over it if I let it stick with me? Come on, come on, focus!
Horsefeathers, why couldn’t life be simpler, huh? Why all this? Why me? Who would’ve- no, stop it! You’re getting distracted again. Focus on your goal, not on what could’ve been. The past is the past, can’t change that, but what I can control is my future. Focus focus focus focus focus focus focus!
Find peace.
Know peace.
Live peace.
All you gotta do is… well I… um… damn it, this is going nowhere! Sun, moon, and stars, what in the hay am I doing wrong? What am I missing here? What, what, what?!
Breaking down, Derpy began stamping about the edge of the pool, swishing her tail in agitation. In her distracted state, she didn’t even notice a root from the nearby oak tree jutting out in her path; an instant later, however, she was very much aware of the protruding plant as she found herself face down in the dirt after becoming well acquainted with it. Now fuming, Derpy picked herself up from the unflattering fall and, tromping over to the tree, began unleashing her frustrations upon it, wildly swinging at it with her forelegs and futilely punching its trunk time and time and time again. She just kept delivering blow after blow, one punch after another until her hooves were numbed and throbbing in pain, but she didn’t care.
Why.
Is.
Nothing.
Working.
Finally, overwhelmed by both exhaustion and an oppressive sense of despair, Derpy collapsed where she stood, burying her face in her hooves. Warm tears wet her fur as she quietly sobbed.
Nothing’s working… nothing… nothing… nothing.
It’d been three days since Derpy had begun her meditations, but in all that time she’d failed to even come close to finding some semblance of inner peace. If anything, the tumult within her soul had only gotten worse. Every time she thought back to her mother’s death, her father’s desertion, she simply couldn’t get past them. The old wounds kept reopening, fresh as ever before, and the hurt, the unbearable sense of loss, clouded her thoughts every single time. Instead of peace, all she felt was anger, betrayal, and sorrow; instead of freedom, all she found was bondage, a captivity from which it seemed there was no escape. She was but a thrall to her demons, always at their mercy, and all that they brought out of her were deep-seated feelings of anguish and, if she let them take her too far, hatred even. It was like they were a hurdle that, no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn’t clear.
This can’t be the way. It just can’t. I mean, Aucune can’t possibly expect this, can he? He does get awfully angry sometimes, whenever he talks about injustice and stuff, but most of the time he’s so calm and collected. Anger, heartache, hate: these feelings can’t possibly bring me peace! So why can’t I get past them? What am I missing, what am I overlooking? There’s something inside, I just... ugh, I know it’s there, but what, what is it?
At long last, her latest wave of angst burned out, Derpy arose, merely trying to figure out where to go from here. Maybe a change of scenery would help.
Ever so slowly, Derpy began plodding away at a gentle pace, her forelegs still tender from her senseless bout with an oak tree just now. As she scanned the hollow for a spot in which she might better contemplate the troubles on her mind, Derpy couldn’t help but notice that Aucune was nowhere to be found. In all likelihood he was probably around there somewhere, but these last few days it’d seemed like he popped in and out as he pleased, so whatever he was up to was really anypony’s guess. For as long as it was taking Derpy to figure things out, though, Aucune, all things considered, had been quite reasonable and patient; in fact, the few times Derpy had even seen him, it seemed he’d been meditating same as she was, albeit far more effectually from the looks of things.
True to his word, they hadn’t spoken to each other once since she’d begun. The silence here was very bizarre at times, a quiet unlike any Derpy had ever experienced before, but there was no denying that it made reflecting upon everything far easier. Of course, the only problem now was that she kept going in circles in her head, try as she might to find that elusive peace she so desperately pined for.
After a moment’s search, Derpy’s eyes fell on a clump of apple trees nearby. Her stomach growled as images of sweet, juicy apples danced inside her head. Besides the troubles she was having with her meditations, Derpy had by no means been a fan of her regulated diet over the last three days. Yeah, she knew that self-discipline was important and all for her training, but the fact was Derpy liked eating, liked it a lot, plain and simple. Who didn’t? Her meals since joining the Order had been sparse enough as it was, but at least they were three square meals a day. Now Aucune expected her to limit herself to one meal a day until she figured things out? That was just downright cruel!
They’re probably not grown in yet, but… it can’t hurt to check, right? I’m sure Aucune won’t mind if I get my mind off my stomach with just a little snack.
Confirming the coast was clear, Derpy bustled over to the clump of trees with haste. Unfortunately, her fears were confirmed as she drew nearer; nothing but the trees’ flowers had grown in, which made sense, seeing as it was still the middle of spring. Still, she combed each tree carefully, but there was nothing, not so much as the tiniest bit of fruit in sight.
Well that figures. Oh, what I wouldn’t give for just one little apple right about now. Feather me, why did I have to go and eat lunch so early today? Ah well, no use crying over spilled milk… darn it, that sounds good too right about now, spilled or not! OK, focus Derpy, nothing you can do about it, just get your mind off of food.
Laying on her back beneath one of the apple trees, Derpy hesitantly turned her train of thought back to the task at hoof. She knew she had to try something different, but what that was remained a mystery. Whatever she did, she was resolved to stay as far away as possible from dwelling upon her demons themselves. If anything, thinking about them hadn’t helped one bit, that much was certain. The only question now was what could she think about?
As she looked up, her mind drawing a blank, Derpy fixed her gaze on the overhanging white flowers of the apple blossoms. The sun was just starting to dip below the mountain’s summit, and in the final, departing rays of light, the flowers transformed into a pattern of white transparency, delicate in their beauty.
Bet they’re just like that back home right about now. That perfect point where you just want every last flower petal to keep hanging on because it just looks so pretty, like a painting that should never, ever change, not in a million years.
Her thoughts drifted to Ponyville, to the hundreds of apple trees that had always dotted the rolling hills around it as long as she’d been there, even when she’d first visited as a filly all those years ago. One in particular stuck out in her mind, one single, solitary tree that meant more to her than all the others ever could.
Mom’s always looks especially nice this time of year. Even when the petals start to fall, they dot around her headstone. Kinda like the town’s laying flowers for her every spring. Can’t believe it’s grown as big as it has; seems like only yesterday that it was a freshly planted sapling.
An image of the once miniscule sapling came rushing back to the forefront of her mind, the first time she’d ever laid eyes on it on that dark day so long ago. Seemed like there was an endless abundance of memories from that day to draw from, but one in particular now drowned out all the others, one singular moment that stood out from all the rest.
Oddly enough, it wasn’t something that had happened at the funeral. That would forever remain ingrained in Derpy’s mind, but now she looked back at something that had happened afterwards…
On top of everything else the citizens of Ponyville had done to augment the occasion, they’d been kind enough to offer the town hall to Ditzy’s family for the reception held following the funeral. At first things had gone as well as could be expected; family and friends reminisced about Ditzy, swapping stories and memories like you’d see at any funeral reception. It wasn’t long, though, until the elephant in the room had reared its big, ugly head; Doos and Hooves started quarreling with each other over Hardy Hooves’s absence and whether or not he deserved custody of Derpy, or if he even wanted her. Ugly words were exchanged, pent up anger unleashed, and even a few punches thrown, despite cooler heads like Aunt Dot trying in vain to prevail.
Things had only gotten uglier and uglier, and for Derpy, it’d been the last straw, so she’d done the only thing that a distraught filly surrounded by feuding relatives at her own mom’s funeral reception could do: she ran. All she wanted at that moment was to be by her mama, and so that’s exactly where she aimed to go. But when she got outside town hall, she realized she had no idea where anything was in this town, much less how to get back to her mom’s gravesite. So she did the next best thing: flapping her little wings as hard as she could, Derpy managed to get up to the cupola atop town hall, the tallest fixture on any building in town.
Circling about it a couple times, she soon spotted it; in spite of the fact that the apple sapling (the most prominent marker of the spot) was still very little, it hadn’t been all that hard to find, seeing as it really was the only notable feature on the otherwise bare hill. For some time after that she simply leaned against the cupola’s railing and cried some more, just staring off into the distance at that empty spot that looked so lonely now. It didn’t stay empty for long, however.
Just as the sun began its descent beneath the horizon, all of a sudden it appeared to come to a stop, just sort of hanging there motionless in the sky. Derpy at first was sure she was just seeing things, but then… then she appeared. The most radiant figure she’d ever seen in her life, majestically lighting down atop the hill where her mother now rested.
Even though she’d never seen her before in real life, Derpy knew who she was in an instant; after all, she was probably the most recognizable figure in all of Equestria. Like most fillies her age, Derpy knew all about Princess Celestia, whether from storybooks or tales her mother had told her of seeing the princess herself while she’d still lived in Canterlot when she was a young mare, but nothing, no amount of pictures or even the most vivid of descriptions, was an adequate substitute for actually seeing her. Even from this distance, her majesty was very much apparent: her coat, white as the purest snow, her flowing mane and tail of many hues, glistening with an unearthly shimmer, and her stature. She was so… big! Not fat or anything, but there was no denying that she was the largest pony Derpy had ever seen, considering her height, plus those massive wings and horn of hers.
For the moment, Derpy almost forgot about her own sorrow as she stared in awe at the unexpected visitor. The alicorn princess slowly approached the fresh grave, wings neatly tucked at her side. From her perch atop the cupola, the only thing that Derpy could make out was the princess bowing her head low as she stood above the grave, but it didn’t take her long to figure out what she was doing. Even when she discerned it, however, she still couldn’t quite believe it. Princess Celestia, the steward of the sun, moon, and stars, ruler of all of Equestria, and protector of all its inhabitants was… grieving.
“Ah, there you are. We’ve been looking all over for you.”
Derpy jumped and whirled around, startled by the unfamiliar voice. Upon finding herself face-to-face with the strange royal guard from earlier, even more imposing up close in her armor than she was from afar, the frightened filly practically shrank to half her size. Hovering above the cupola, the guard set down on its landing just a few feet away from Derpy. Before she said another word, however, she stopped and stared straight over Derpy’s head, regarding the princess from afar. Now the stern look she’d borne just a second ago vanished; for a moment, she only regarded the princess with an emotionless expression, then she turned to Derpy and scrutinized her with the same blank look.
Once she’d taken stock of the situation, the guard’s eyes softened, and she removed her helmet, revealing a cropped, chestnut-colored mane. Setting the helmet down, she slowly approached the still-fearful Derpy, still very rigid and deliberate in her movements but now bearing a barely perceptible, almost apologetic countenance. Bending down, she gently nudged Derpy and whispered, “It’s okay, we don’t have to go anywhere, it’s fine.”
Understanding her meaning, Derpy turned around and resumed watching the princess. A moment later she felt something warm and soft gently brush against her side. Looking up, she saw that the guard had settled next to her, sitting on her haunches, and had tenderly draped a wing about her. The guard stared straight ahead, eyes fixed on the princess, and seemed somewhat hesitant in her action, unsure whether or not the wing hug was welcome or even wanted. However, her doubts were dispelled when Derpy leaned against her side, and she tightened her wing’s embrace.
For awhile, the two unlikely companions sat there and just kept watching the scene at Ditzy’s gravesite. Likewise, the princess remained stock-still as well, head bowed; they couldn’t be sure if she was saying something or simply paying her respects in silence, but it didn’t matter, especially not to Derpy. Princess Celestia was there, saying goodbye to her mama. She probably never even met her, but there she was all the same, saying goodbye. That really meant something to Derpy, that she’d do something like that.
Tears that she thought suppressed came forth once more, but this time it didn’t hurt so much to shed them. Maybe it was that she didn’t feel so alone now in her sadness. The funeral had been beautiful, but it had been so soon afterwards that she’d been reminded of the grim reality the future now held for her by her relative’s squabbling down below. She didn’t need that. Not now, not today. All she needed on this day was to say goodbye to her mama. That’s why she’d run, to run away from the bad, which was so very real now, and that’s what made it so hard to swallow. She’d run because saying goodbye hurt less than anything else right now, even if she had to say goodbye alone. But now these two were here, one afar, one right by her side, and things weren’t so bad. Sure she didn’t know either of them, but they were here, and they were saying goodbye just like little Derpy, shedding tears in their own way just like her.
Derpy’s fresh tears wet the guard’s armor and pale yellow fur, but if it irked her at all she didn’t show it. She sat still as a statue, exuding a disciplined serenity. Only her one wing enfolding Derpy remained in motion, stroking her as soothingly as she could. Gentle, tender loving care wasn’t exactly her forte, and her movements revealed as much; they were stiff and awkward, clearly something she wasn’t very comfortable with or experienced at. But it was enough. To Derpy, it felt like her mother; the warmth of her fur, the softness of her feathers, all of it felt just like her. For the first time in a long while, the tiniest of smiles spread on Derpy’s lips. Just then, Princess Celestia finally raised her head, standing tall and regal once more. A blinding flash of light burst forth where she stood, and a split second later she was gone. A few minutes later, the sun resumed its descent, finally bringing a close to the day.
“I know it hurts right now,” the guard said unexpectedly, gazing down at Derpy, “I know it must hurt so much. Probably feels like you’ve lost everything. But let me tell you something: your mother will never, ever really leave you. Everything she was to you, everything she gave to you and every other pony whose lives she touched, all that she was, that’ll never die. That’ll stay with you for the rest of your life. If you look hard enough, you’ll even find it in others as you grow older. Because something so beautiful, so pure, so strong… nothing can ever kill that. Remember that little one, remember it and carry it with you all your days. Not just for your mother, but for yourself, because that’s what she’d want for you. That’s all she’d want.”
That’s when it hit her. Like a thousand bolts of lightning striking all at once, a tidal wave of understanding swept over her in an instant. She caught her breath, heart pounding in her chest, overcome by her discovery.
Oh my gosh… that’s it! Can it really be that simple? Can it?
But it was. In the pit of her being, she just knew it was. This was it. This was her salvation.
Love.
Another wave surged through her, even better than the first, as she became more and more certain of it.
Yes. Yes, love, that… why didn’t I ever see it before? It was always there right in front of my own eyes! My aunt and uncle, my friends, family, anypony who’s ever touched my life… and mom. She’s never left me. That love, she’s still showering me with that same love that she gave to me every day of her life. She laid down her life because she loved me so, because she knew that not even death could ever destroy her love. It’s lived on, strong as ever before; but it wasn’t just for me that she died. She died for every pony she loved, for ponies she never even met but loved all the same, because… because there’s nothing greater in life! There’s nothing so beautiful, so pure, so strong as love, nothing more precious we can give to one another every day of our lives. It’s something bigger than her, bigger than death; it was before her, and it’s lived on after her, because it’s always lived on, it’s always been there and always will be, in each and every one of us.
As long as life prevails, so will love, because they’re one and the same, and if we just look hard enough, we can find it almost anywhere. I’ve been blind for so long, but now I see! There is love in and all around me, beautiful, pure, strong, and with love, I can do anything, I can be anything! I don’t have to be handicapped by the past; no amount of grief, sorrow, loss, or anger can compare to the love mom left me, left to everypony she could. I see it now, I see that there is nothing more beautiful or meaningful that we can give of ourselves in this life than love. It’s timeless, deathless, eternal, and now that I know it, now that I see it in all its beauty, I know what I must do with it. I’ve got to live just like mom; I’ve got to give it to as many ponies as I can, touch their lives with love in whatever way I can just as she did every day of her life.
On Celestia and Luna’s names, this I swear: I will live and breathe the love I’ve always been blessed with all my days, no matter what fate has in store for me. From this day forth, love will be my life, for love is life.
With that, Derpy shot up from where she lay. She was almost panting, practically gasping for breath, so great was her excitement. A calm, a great, soothing joy like none she’d ever felt coursed through her. It was as if the heaviest of yokes had been lifted from her shoulders, replaced by the most staggeringly wondrous sensation. The shackles were gone, and the road ahead, while certainly not entirely clear or certain, was at least now in sight.
Wow… so this is peace? Just… wow.
Night had come, and a full moon now gleamed overhead, its pale rays shining down upon her. She’d never seen a more beautiful night in all her life. For some time she just stared up at that heavenly orb in the sky, soaking in everything she was now feeling, experiencing. It was a lot to take in all at once!
“I take it you found what you were looking for?” a familiar voice chimed in. Derpy turned her gaze away to meet Aucune’s own, an electrified look upon her face.
“I- I think so. I’ve never felt anything like this before, or at least not for a long time,” she said, half-afraid it would all disappear any second now, as suddenly as it had come over her. Aucune, however, only beamed, a smile spreading across his face unlike any Derpy had ever seen on him before. Chuckling, he laid a hoof upon her back.
“Oh, I’d say you have. Why don’t you take a look for yourself, Miss Hooves?” he suggested, gesturing toward a nearby pool. Confused but compliant, Derpy trotted over and stared into the water’s surface, uncertain what she was looking for. A second later, however, she found it.
My eyes!
For the first time since that dark day 16 years ago, Derpy’s eyes were perfectly leveled. Staring at her new reflection, it felt like she was staring at a completely different mare, and not just because of the eyes. Everything looked different now, felt different. For lack of a better word, she looked like herself, felt like herself, who she’d wanted to be, had known that she was, for so very long.
Now new tears came forth, only this time they weren’t tears of sorrow, or frustration, or anger: they were tears of joy. Bounding over to Aucune, the ecstatic Derpy threw her hooves around his neck, wrapping him in the warmest, tightest embrace she could.
“Thank you… thank you!” she kept repeating over and over again. Much to her surprise, Aucune returned the hug with one of his own.
“Don’t thank me, this is your victory, not mine. I’m very proud of you Derpy. Very, very proud of you.” The two remained like that for an immeasurable amount of time, teacher and student locked in an affectionate embrace beneath the glow of the moon.
And so Derpy’s old demons were conquered. What lay ahead for her now was anypony’s guess, including her own. But at least this much was certain: her life was fully in her hooves now, and what she did with it was all up to her. All of it was all up to her.
“That’s perfectly understandable, but you’ve got nothing to worry about. It’s just a bout Derpy, it’s not like there’s anything of import at stake.”
“It’s still a bout. I mean, we’re talking about a bona fide fight, and in front of the whole castle no less!”
“It can be quite nerve wracking performing in front of all your peers, I’ll admit it. But you should be happy having the opportunity to show off your talent; you’re a brand new mare now, and it’s high time you proved that to all of them. Show them what you’re made of, what you’ve become in this past year.”
“Yeah, I guess. That’s all I really can do, right? Still a bundle of nerves though. How much longer we got?”
Lightning Flicker glanced at a silver watch lying beside her. “We’ve still got some time yet. Probably enough for one more passage. Sound good?”
Derpy nodded. “Sure, sure. Got one in mind?”
“Let me see… ah, I know, how about Whinnyson’s “The Hard Cause”?” Lightning suggested.
“What’s it about?” Derpy asked.
“The Lunar Rebellion. On its surface it’s a tribute to Shadow Kicker, but of course it’s more than that. Shall I begin?”
“Go for it.”
“Very well then.” Lightning flipped through a book in front of her until she’d found the passage she sought. Clearing her throat, she began, her soft voice carrying the poem’s words with a gentle grace.
‘The cause, the cause, That hard, long cause, For which she made the turn. Such division and pain And so many slain, Families torn asunder, “Why, oh why?” so many wonder, She always in reply, “For the hard cause.”
Ever the cause, Ever the cause, Ever the hard, long cause.
When loyalty and honor questioned, Midst talks of treason and secession, Still she remained in that grim hour, Rather than seize for herself power, Faithful to the cause. Not for city high in the sky, Not for friends nor father would she die, She could not raise the battle cry In defiance of the cause.
Ever the cause, Ever the cause, Ever the hard, long cause.
‘Twas not for family that she bled, Nor for Commander that she led, Never for honor did she shed Blood, but for the hard cause. For what her heart told her was right, A hope for ponykind, a light, A brighter future for which she’d fight, Yes, for that hard cause.
Ever the cause, Ever the cause, Ever the hard, long cause.
Now war is past, and Shadow gone, And these deeds honored in history and song, Yet still we stand but at the dawn Of this, the hard, long cause. Let courage please our hearts take hold, Make spirits brave and be so bold Prepared to suffer as Shadow of old, Suffer for our hard cause.
Ever the cause, Ever the cause, Ever the hard, long cause.’
“I love that one. I’ve always been particularly fond of Whinnyson’s work. He treats a subject like war with the respectability it deserves. None of that over-the-top nationalism or even well-intentioned romanticism you see in so many others; no, he sees it for the cruel, somber business that it is, even those wars with noble causes. It’s very honest, and there’s a great deal of beauty in that.” Lightning breathed a contented sigh, her eyes glazing over as her mind fondly recalled mysteries unearthed and truths revealed to her over the years within the confines of Whinnyson’s verse. After a moment she turned from her sentimental recollections back to the matter at hoof. “So, what’s your takeaway Derpy?”
“Well he’s certainly a fan of Shadow Kicker, that’s for sure,” she remarked. The two pegasi shared a lighthearted chuckle together.
“That he is, that he is,” Lightning concurred, “but what else do you see there? I’m curious.”
“What else?” Derpy repeated, now seriously considering the question. “He’s not just talking about Shadow’s ‘cause’. Well, he is, but it seems that to Whinnyson, Shadow’s cause is as much our own cause as well.”
“Very good. And what do you think the ‘hard cause’ is?” Lightning asked.
“Well that’s a bit harder to say,” Derpy admitted. She thought a moment, the possibilities ranging through her mind till she’d settled on a satisfactory answer. “Shadow’s cause in her day was defending Equestria, as well as Princess Celestia’s authority as its ruler. But like you said, I didn’t really hear anything that sounded nationalistic in there. So I don’t think that’s it. Besides, it’s not like ponies today could specifically take up that particular cause that Shadow fought for. The Lunar Rebellion ended almost 900 years ago.”
“Alright, well, the Lunar Rebellion’s one thing that it’s not. Let’s start by ruling out what else the ‘cause’ is not,” Lightning proposed. “Take a look at stanza five. ‘Twas not for family that she bled / Nor for Commander that she led / Never for honor did she shed / Blood, but for the hard cause’. So right there we’ve got three more things that Shadow did not ultimately fight for, and, ergo, are not the ‘cause’: family, Princess Celestia, and honor. So if the ‘cause’ is none of those motivating factors, then what is it?”
Derpy took a look at the poem herself and, after rereading it once more, perceived something. “The answer’s in the last four lines of stanza five. ‘For what her heart told her was right / A hope for ponykind, a light / A brighter future for which she’d fight / Yes, for that hard cause’.”
“Perceptive. Very perceptive,” Lightning commended. “Continue, please.”
“Well… it seems to me that the ‘cause’ is a conviction that Shadow herself held. A firm belief in the justness of defending Celestia’s rule and a unified Equestria. Not just for the sake of her own generation either, but for generations to come. So really, she’s fighting for a dream. A hope of what Equestria might become.”
“I agree,” Lightning said. “All those things that Whinnyson lists as not being the ‘cause’, family, monarch, honor, they’re certainly parts of it, elements that go into achieving it even, but they aren’t the whole. The ‘cause’ is something higher than all of them, a dream bigger than them all and worth more as well. The rebellious clans of Pegasopolis threatened that dream, and that’s why Shadow fought to defend it. That’s also why Whinnyson entreats the readers in stanza seven to carry on fighting for the ‘cause’. The ‘hard, long cause’ didn’t end with the Lunar Rebellion; it’s a constant struggle, possibly endless, trying to fulfill Equestria’s destiny, to achieve the good that it is capable of, and each and every one of us has a moral duty to do our part to achieve that good. At least, that’s what Whinnyson’s getting at.”
Derpy rested her chin on her hoof for a moment, pondering something. “I have another thought,” she finally said, “I don’t think Whinnyson’s just talking about an end when he describes the ‘cause’. I think he’s just as much talking about means as well.”
“Interesting. Please, elaborate further,” Lightning entreated, perking up at Derpy’s conjecture.
“Well think about it. Shadow’s conviction was that a unified Equestria under Princess Celestia’s rule was the best means to achieving the good that Equestria is capable of, the best thing for all of ponykind. But the clans of Pegasopolis believed just as fervently that their cause to achieve independence for themselves and the other pony races from Celestia’s rule was in the best interest of all ponykind.”
“So we’ve got two factions both claiming to be doing what’s best for ponies everywhere. Their ends in the grand scheme of things are, ultimately, the same: the good of all ponykind. It’s the means where they differ, and it’s the means that cause the ends to differ. Where Shadow saw harmony in a unified Equestria under Celestia’s rule, Pegasopolis only saw tyranny and weakness. Where Pegasopolis saw strength in independence, Shadow only saw chaos.”
“I think Whinnyson’s not only affirming the goodness of the ends of Shadow’s cause, but the means to those ends as well. A unified Equestria is the best way to achieve true harmony and peace for all, now and always. So, in a way, Whinnyson seems to be saying that the means in any endeavor in general are just as important as the ends; you cannot have just ends if you do not take just means to achieve those ends.”
This last thought drew a most peculiar reaction from Lightning Flicker. For a full minute that felt longer than it was, she stared at Derpy with a blank, indescribable expression. Whether she was intensely scrutinizing her or simply concentrating as she sought the right words to say in response, Derpy could not tell. As suddenly as it’d come, however, the look disappeared when Lightning seemed to snap out of it as though she’d been in a trance. Giving her watch a cursory glance, she said, “Looks to be just about time. You ready?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Derpy replied. The butterflies in her stomach were slightly calmed after that last passage; nothing like a good poetry lesson to take her mind off her nerves, to a certain extent at least.
“Then let us be off. If you’d like, I will gladly accompany you to the courtyard. In my experience, a little friendly company prior to trying occasions such as this can go a long way indeed.”
Derpy flashed a small smile, her mind a bit more at ease. She liked spending time outside of the classroom with Lightning Flicker, even more than with most of her other instructors. She was very soft spoken and always patient and kind no matter who she was dealing with. In more ways than one she reminded Derpy of her demure childhood friend Fluttershy, though admittedly Lightning was considerably more outgoing than that timid pegasus.
“Thanks Lightning, I think I would like that. Guess it’s now or never. Let’s go.” The two rose from where they’d been laying sprawled out on a large wool rug in the middle of Lightning’s cell, and exiting her homey quarters, began making their way through the winding passages of Die Schmiede to the inner ward.
A hard, long cause. Well, you’ve certainly thrown yourself into quite the hard cause, haven’t you? Hard to believe it’s been just over a year now. So much that’s changed, so much that’s different. Practically something new to learn every day, about the world, the Order, myself. I wonder if they’ll even recognize me if… when I go back to Ponyvillle? I am going back. Yeah. Some time, just… not yet.
So different now, so different from what I was. Would they have even recognized me if I’d gone back then, when everything changed at the top of that mountain? He gave me a chance. Told me it was my choice, that I could either go back right then and there, free from my past, or choose to not only be free but… transformed. Transformed into something new entirely. Verbesserung, he called it. You chose it, you chose Verbesserung and now here you are, most definitely something new entirely, committed to a hard cause of your own.
But what cause is that? The Order’s? The greater good? Maybe they’re one and the same. Maybe. But what good is that that I’ve committed myself to? How are you going to use what you’ve learned to advance the greater good for all? Can you even, with what you’ve learned? Sometimes I wonder if I should’ve thought the choice through more, if I’m just in over my head. But no, can’t think like that. Even if the future’s not clear yet, you can’t doubt yourself like that. I made the choice because I believed, I knew that there was a cause, a good, hard cause worth devoting myself to in choosing this path. So you’ll advance the hard cause however you’re destined to. When that choice comes, I’ve got to believe I’ll know the answer. The heart will tell, the heart will direct, and I’ll know, and I’ll choose. But now is not the time for that choice; now’s just another step to it. Let’s show ‘em all what you’ve learned. Let’s show ‘em all.
“They’re late.”
“I’m sure they’re on their way as we speak. Besides, it’s not like we have any place to be. What’s the rush?”
“No rush, simply an observation.”
“An observation of what?”
“Well they’re obviously late for a reason, and I doubt it’s because they got lost.”
“Fair enough. Why do you propose they’re late, then?”
“Nerves, perhaps.”
Aucune considered Dämons Hengst’s conjecture momentarily. After a short silence, he offered an indifferent shrug.
“It’s possible, yes, but what of it? I’m sure we’ve all experienced nerves for one thing or another. Why does this particular instance matter?”
“Again, it was just an observation.” Aucune regarded his colleague with a watchful eye.
“I’m not entirely sure it was. You’ve made a number of similar ‘observations’ lately concerning her. When did you become so fastidious?” he asked.
“Forget it, it’s nothing,” Dämons muttered. “Nothing appropriate to discuss here at any rate.”
Aucune grunted, acknowledging the truth of his assertion. Best to leave deliberating over what may or may not be a mere nonissue for a more private setting; now was not the time or place, not in front of virtually the whole castle community.
Still, seems to be more there than just a ‘nitpick’. Though what exactly his concerns may be, I haven’t the fondest clue. Odd. He’s usually not that guarded about his feelings, not with me at least. Well, I’ll get to the bottom of this soon enough. Perhaps she’ll even allay whatever concerns he might have today.
“Very well. Anything else on your mind?” Aucune asked.
“Let’s talk about your project. Do you think she stands a chance against Brawny?”
Aucune nodded without a moment’s hesitation. “Oh yes, she’s got more than a fair chance as far as I’m concerned.”
“I’m not so sure. Next to Storm, Brawny’s our finest practitioner of Wing Chun, and he’s easily our strongest member at the moment.” Dämons noted, drawing a snort from Aucune.
“You and I both know that strength in combat’s more than brawn,” he countered.
“It’s still a factor worth considering,” Dämons said. “She’s quite small even for a pegasus, and most pegasi are more brittle as it is than their ground-bound cousins, with their frailer bone density.”
“Doesn’t matter,” Aucune bluntly declared.
“Why not? We’re practically comparing apples and oranges here. I mean, an experienced veteran of the Order versus a mare who has yet to put her skills to the test in the field? Your confidence in her is surprising to say the least.”
“Like I said, it doesn’t matter.”
“Why not?” Dämons demanded.
“Brawny Charger took five years to master Wing Chun. Five. That’s not bad for any member of the Order, and he’s certainly mastered it better than most here have. But Derpy Hooves has mastered a hybrid of katrote, Krav Pega, and Wing Chun in a year. Not to mention the ninjutsu she’s been studying with Charming, though I doubt we’ll see that on display today. That’s why the factors you cited do not matter. As far as I’m concerned, this is at the very least an even match, and if anyone has an advantage here, it’s Derpy.”
“Well, we’ll know who’s the superior student soon enough,” Dämons stated. “Here they come now.”
At that moment Derpy and Lightning stepped into the inner ward through the wide open doors of the keep, arousing the already sizeable crowd awaiting their arrival. An excited murmur arose and an electrifying charge from the throng of ponies buzzed through the air that got Derpy’s own blood pumping. It truly did seem as though the whole castle had turned out to watch; at least 200 ponies were gathered there, clustered about the yard and the battlements. An octagonal wooden ring had been set up in the center of the yard for the match, large enough that the two combatants would have plenty of room to maneuver, but still small enough that the bout would be for the most part contained and close quarters.
Right away Derpy noticed Aucune and Dämons Hengst standing atop the battlements, overlooking the ring below. She sorely wished she could speak with Aucune prior to the bout; after all, he was her favorite mentor and closest friend here. She figured if anypony could calm her nerves right at this moment, it was him. But it was too late for that now, and she knew it. She spotted more of her instructors standing together along the edge of the ring: Storm Spirit, Fiery Zephyr, Charming Masquerade, all of them chatting away feverishly as everypony else was.
And there, warming up in the center of the ring, was Brawny Charger.
Without a doubt Brawny Charger was the largest pony at Die Schmiede. A grey earth pony with a tousled red mane and tail, he was about as tall as Ponyville’s Big McIntosh, albeit just a bit slimmer as well. The dark freckles on his face, along with his generally easygoing personality, gave Brawny a somewhat boyish appearance. His youthful demeanor, however, belied his truly mature and serious nature; while he wasn’t what Derpy would call one of the Order’s thinkers, Brawny was a veteran member who’d been with the Ordo Extraordinarii for almost a decade. He had a very take-charge personality and was a master of Wing Chun as well as general physical fitness activities.
Throughout all of Verbesserung, he’d been Derpy’s primary physical fitness instructor, taking over for Aucune. The workouts were still largely the same as before, but with Brawny they’d seemed to get even more intense. He pushed Derpy day in and day out to her limits, bounding from one exercise to another as quickly as possible with little to no time in between, all the while spurring Derpy on with energetic and, at times almost frantic, gusto. Despite the lengths he forced her to take to complete his workouts, Derpy really admired Brawny’s passion and appreciated his intensity; she’d certainly seen a marked improvement in her strength and overall physical fitness since he’d taken over, not to mention the gains made for her character and perseverance as well. It was funny how something as simple as lifting a bunch of weights till you couldn’t lift them anymore could do all that.
“You’ve never sparred with Brawny, correct?” Lightning asked as they approached the ring, the crowd parting for them.
“No, never,” Derpy replied. “Anything I should know?”
Lightning nodded. “He’s faster than you’d think, and every bit as strong as he looks, so keep your distance. If he closes, either evade his attack or blunt it with a counter of your own. If it comes down to grappling, break off as fast as you can; trust me, you will not be able to overwhelm him through strength alone. Remember, the superior combatant is not determined by who is strongest, but whoever gets in the right attacks. You’re not stronger than him, and that’s not going to change in the next few minutes, so do what you must to win this bout, not what he will. If you play by his rules, he will win.”
Derpy let Lightning’s words sink in, trying to absorb everything she’d told her. Beads of sweat dotted her brow and her heart was racing. It seemed like her mind was going a million miles an hour as it attempted to cover anything and everything it could in the next few seconds. When they reached the ring, the tempo of her breathing noticeably picked up, and her whole being felt hollow. Feeling lightheaded, Derpy tried to steady herself against the ring until she felt a soft wing lay upon her.
“Hey, look at me,” Lightning implored. Derpy complied, turning to face her. Lightning stared back at her with a warm, reassuring smile. “You’re going to do just fine, alright? Don’t worry about anything in there, anything at all: not your training, the Order, not what anyone else here thinks. Just focus on doing what you know you’re capable of doing. Because, believe me, I’ve seen what you’re capable of, and if you focus solely on that, it’ll be more than enough. Trust me.”
Derpy gave a small grin and grasped Lightning in a brief embrace. As soon as she released her, she leapt over the ring and strode with conviction towards the center to meet her competition. Lightning made her way over to her fellow instructors, flying over the crowd and settling beside her friend Storm Spirit.
“So, how’s our girl doing, Flix?” Storm asked.
“A bit nervous, but besides that, she’s doing just fine.”
“Fine enough to take on Brawny?”
“I think so. As long as she fights like I know she can, I’m confident she’ll emerge the victor.”
Storm smirked at that. “Well then, seeing as you’re so sure of her chances, care to get in on some action?” she asked, nudging Lightning in the side.
“What on earth are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about a bet of course, feather brains!” Storm said.
“Oh goodness, no.” Lightning rolled her eyes in exasperation.
“Ah come on, it’ll be fun Flix!” Storm pleaded, feigning a pout.
“No, absolutely not. I couldn’t imagine doing something so crass and insensitive,” Lightning declared.
“Ugh, you are such a killjoy sometimes,” Storm remarked in annoyance. “What about you boys?” she asked, turning to the gold pegasus and navy blue unicorn to her left.
“Sorry Storm, no dice. I don’t think the missus would appreciate it if I did something she disapproved of so,” Fiery Zephyr said with a wink at Lightning. She returned his gesture with a sweet smile that would’ve melted the heart of the orneriest Timberwolf.
Fiery sheepishly grinned, but Storm, however, only gagged in disgust. “Pffft, man, you are so whipped,” she said disdainfully. “What about you Charmy? You in?”
“No,” Charming Masquerade said without even turning. The unicorn had a bit of a reputation for being excessively detached and stoic, even by the Order’s standards.
“Why not?” Storm asked.
“Not interested,” he answered, shrugging.
“Sheesh, I’m surrounded by party poopers,” Storm complained. “Though to be fair that’s not exactly news with you, Charming. Well I gotta find me someone to wager with; it’s rare we see this type of action around here, and I sure as hay ain’t letting it go to waste.”
Storm turned to the crowd and began barking out like an auctioneer, “Who wants in? Who wants in? Come on, name your stakes, who’s willing to bet on the little filly against my boy, Brawny? Oh come on guys, don’t be shy, it’ll be fun!”
Lightning raised an eyebrow at that, her curiosity piqued. “You’re betting on Brawny? Interesting… might I ask why?”
“Earth pony bias, really. To be frank, I do think these two are pretty evenly matched. But you can only bet on one, so when it comes down to it, I gotta go with Brawny. Us earth ponies gotta stick together, ya know? Not to mention the years of experience he has on her. Between his strength and his experience, I think he’s got more than enough to take Derpy down. So who wants in, come on, who’s willing to bet on the new kid on the block?”
“Buck, if it’ll get ya to shut up, I’ll bet on her!” a thick brogue shouted in reply. The whole group of instructors, save for Charming Masquerade, turned around to find the voice’s owner. To their surprise, it was none other than Tiny Taste.
“Tiny? You’re betting on Derpy?” Storm asked with incredulity.
“I gotta say, coming from you, that is pretty surprising, considering your history with her and all,” Fiery agreed. “Besides, you haven’t even really seen her spar with, well, anypony. What’s changed your mind about her?”
“Simple. Lass has been in my kitchen I don’t know ‘ow many times since her last “incident” an’ hasn’t burned it to the ground. She still can’t cook for shite, but at least now I don’t have a bloody panic attack every time she steps hoof in my domain. Hay, I’ve even found jobs that she can manage, ya know, besides cookin’, an’ I gotta say, if that’s not a miraculous improvement, then I don’t know what is.”
“Seriously? You’re really gonna bet on her because she hasn’t wrecked your kitchen?” Storm was practically in stitches. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing, especially coming from Tiny of all ponies.
“That’s my decision, an’ I’m stickin’ to it,” Tiny affirmed. “Ya still game for a wager? Cause if ya are, name your stakes.”
“Oh yeah, if you’re game Tiny, so am I,” Storm said. “Let’s see… ah, I got it. If Brawny wins, you let me have seconds whenever I want for the next month.”
“Fine by me. But if Derpy wins, you’ll be pullin’ kitchen duty for the next month. Whaddya say, Spirit?”
“Hohoho, I’d say you’ve got yourself a deal!” Storm replied. The two earth ponies hoof bumped, sealing the deal.
“Good timing,” Charming said, nodding towards the battlements. The group turned to where he was gesturing, and saw that Aucune was trying to silence the crowd.
“Good afternoon everypony! If you would all be so kind as to quiet down, we’ll be able to get underway with this afternoon’s contest,” he called out to the crowd. Almost instantly the chatter and gossip that filled the air came to a halt as friends suspended their conversations and parents quieted their restless children. Derpy and Brawny ceased their stretching and turned their eyes along with everypony else on Aucune.
“Thank you. Now then, before we begin, let us first review the rules for the benefit of today’s combatants. They are quite simple. Once the kampfduell begins, combat is constant until a combatant yields or is rendered unconscious. No weapons or armor are permitted for either combatant; your bodies and martial faculties are the only weapons required. And finally, abilities unique to pony races may not be employed to delay the kampfduell in any way. Miss Hooves, that means that you may not utilize your flight to evade Brawny Charger once the kampfduell begins. However, you may use your wings to your advantage in direct combat itself, as long as they are used to deliver or block a blow of some sort. Beyond that, everything aside from attacks that have a high probability of causing permanent injury or death are permissible. Combatants, are you ready to begin?”
Both nodded in response, and the crowd cheered. Aucune flashed a contented smile. “Then let the kampfduell commence. Combatants, prepare yourselves!”
The two strode to opposite ends of the ring and faced each other, awaiting Aucune’s signal. For Derpy, time seemed to move at a snail’s pace. Her eyes levelled on Brawny and focused on him alone, her sense’s blocking everything else out. Her world was now but the ring, herself, and her opponent; it would only be otherwise when she brought him down.
Be yourself. There’s no trick, that’s all you need to do… just be yourself. Do that, and you’ll have already won.
Brawny stared just as intently back at her, and for a few seconds it seemed as though they’d both remain standing stock-still indefinitely until-
“Fight!” Aucune cried out.
The two started circling the ring, still eyeing each other warily as they drew nearer with each tense step. Before long, they were but a couple of feet from each other, each sizing up the other, trying to determine their opening moves. Neither acted in haste; both were very much on their guard, and a hurriedly delivered opening blow could easily backfire on the attacker.
Derpy was especially cautious in these opening moments. From her own experience, she knew that Wing Chun utilized rapid-fire strikes from the forelegs designed especially for close range combat. This typically called for extensive amounts of time fighting from a bipedal stance, an awkward style of fighting for ponies. When she’d first started learning it herself and adjusting to standing on two legs, it’d been like having to learn how to walk all over again. There was no helping it, seeing as the art had originated in Griffonia, where the native griffons could easily walk about on their back paws alone, but in time and after lots of practice she’d grown quite good at it. By this point she could even fight comfortably on her hind legs alone as well as all fours. Still, she was not an experienced master of Wing Chun like Brawny was and she knew it, and so Derpy kept her guard up, knowing that he could easily transition to his proper fighting stance in an instant.
Just when she thought she’d found an opening, Brawny struck first. He dashed forward and, before Derpy knew what was happening, managed to land a glancing blow on her side. She cried out in pain and surprise, but managed to backpedal away from him before he could do any more damage.
Horsefeathers. So much for gaining the initiative.
Before Derpy had time to collect herself, however, Brawny was coming at her again, this time directing a flurry of blows at her face. Derpy raised her forelegs and blocked most of his strikes when Brawny suddenly changed course and kicked at her exposed trunk with one of his hind legs. Again Derpy managed to evade the powerful blow, sidestepping away from it at the last second.
He’s probing my defenses. Trying to figure out what works, what doesn’t. Gotta get in some attacks of my own, and fast. Certainly won’t get anywhere playing defense the whole time, he’ll just wear me down.
But yet again Brawny came, even harder than before, and Derpy had no choice but to defend herself. Thankfully his attacks remained easy enough to block, but something about that struck Derpy as strange. Just as Lightning had warned, he was faster than he looked, but Brawny’s strong suit was still his strength, not his speed. Right now he seemed more interested in getting in as many strikes as he could but hardly concerned with whether or not they actually struck. If he kept this up much longer, he’d probably wear himself down. So just what was his game?
Still he kept coming, one onslaught after another; what Derpy couldn’t block she dodged, but more and more Brawny’s blows began to find their mark. A graze here, a jab there, none of them so much painful as they were annoying, but still, that annoyance alone was starting to take its toll. So far this entire fight had been nothing but an exercise in frustration for Derpy. Brawny was handling her like a foal and she knew it, and the fact that it was in front of all her peers and instructors only made that knowledge sting all the more. And, perhaps most frustrating of all, she still had no idea what he was even trying to accomplish in all this.
None of these attacks could possibly knock me out, so what gives? Is he trying to shame me into submission? That just doesn’t seem like something Brawny’d do. He’s competitive and driven, sure, but he’s no bully. If he beats me, he’s going to do it by thoroughly beating me down till I can’t get up anymore. Right now, though, in spite of all his efforts, the only thing I’m losing is my pride and some ground, but that’s- wait a minute. Ground.
That’s when it dawned on her what was going on. Ducking away from a punch, Derpy took a cursory glance around the ring. Those few seconds were all she needed to confirm her suspicions.
He’s not trying to beat me down at all. He’s beating me back. This whole time he’s been trying to force me to lose my ground and back away towards the edge of the ring. He knows I’m faster than him, so he’s trying to corner me before he tries to wrestle me to the ground. He gets me pinned, I’m finished, and so far I’ve been playing right into his hooves. But maybe… maybe now I can play him into mine. What was it Ma Tzu said? “He who is prudent and lies in wait for an enemy who is not, will be victorious.” If I’m patient and play my cards right, I might yet turn the tables on him.
For the first time since the fight’d begun, a plan started to take form in Derpy’s head. She’d keep playing Brawny’s game for the time being, or at least make him think as much, right up until his endgame. Risky to be sure, but the dividends, if she pulled it off, could be huge.
Well, nothing ventured, nothing gained. OK Brawny, let’s see how you like being played for a change.
Ever so slowly, Derpy began backing nearer and nearer towards the edge of the ring, still blocking and avoiding Brawny’s attacks, only now, unbeknownst to her opponent, with a purpose. This part of the plan called for subtlety more than anything else; despite knowing what he was up to, Derpy still had to make it look like Brawny was in complete control. It wasn’t exactly the easiest thing in the world pretending to be oblivious to his designs when she knew precisely what he aimed to do, but she had to try.
Thankfully, her ruse must’ve been convincing enough as Brawny seemed to buy it, carrying on as before. Even the crowd itself remained ignorant of Derpy’s stratagem, as more than a few began to boo the underwhelming thrashing that appeared to be unfolding before them, though at least one onlooker seemed ecstatic at Brawny’s apparent success.
“That’s it Brawny, take it to her, you got this!” Storm Spirit hollered with glee. “Show that filly what it means to face a true Wing Chun master. C’mon now, finish this!”
Derpy just blocked it all out and stuck to her course. It didn’t matter what they were saying now, thinking now; if her plan came to fruition, they’d all be changing their tune before long, she just knew it. Even that was irrelevant; the only thing that truly mattered right now was setting and springing her trap.
Almost there now. Her back almost up against the ring itself, Derpy fixed her full attention on Brawny. She knew that ultimately he’d have to make his move before she could make hers, and if he caught her off guard, he could still easily wrestle her to the ground. He did that, it was all over. So she just kept watching and waiting, playing her part for the time being as her ruse continued.
Suddenly Brawny delivered a furious string of blows, most directed at Derpy’s face. Yet again she managed to block most of them, but immediately thereafter Brawny lunged, wrapping her in a tight embrace about her trunk. To his surprise, Derpy recovered and grasped him in an embrace of her own. The two were now locked together, each seemingly trying to bring the other down, though Derpy’s efforts seemed for naught as Brawny shortly began to lift her into the air. This, however, was exactly what Derpy wanted.
Gotcha now big guy, let’s see how you like this.
“Don’t worry Hooves, I promise I’ll be gentle,” Brawny jested.
“Well that’s fine and all, but I can’t promise the same for you,” Derpy countered.
“What?”
Clutching him as tight as she could, Derpy drove her head straight downward, ramming Brawny square between the eyes. Stunned, Brawny relinquished his hold on Derpy and staggered backwards. Before he’d even figured out what had just happened, Derpy was all over him. While she too was dazed from her unorthodox (albeit, effective) headbutt, she, unlike Brawny, had known it was coming, and so was able to recover fairly fast and get in a few good punches. Strategically, she aimed these blows between Brawny’s eyes as well, hoping to aggravate her initial strike and keep him disoriented.
Seeing as a pony as big as Brawny was hardly one to go down after one blow, he managed to speedily recover. Still, as Derpy had hoped, her headbutt and subsequent blows to the face had left him considerably dazed. The playing field was now levelled once more, the initiative, for the moment, was Derpy’s, and she had no intention of relinquishing it from this point on, no matter how much of a fight Brawny put up. The reenergized crowd, aroused from their bored state by this sudden turn of events, went wild now that a real fight was unfolding before them.
In short order the fight escalated to an almost frenetic level, the two combatants both very much aware that it was now anypony’s fight to win. For awhile they matched each other blow for blow, strike for strike, each desperately trying to gain the upper hoof over the other. Increasingly, however, it became evident that things were turning more and more in Derpy’s favor. With Brawny disoriented, her speed now more than ever became a crucial factor. Weaving in and out, she virtually danced around him as she dodged or parried his slower blows while consistently getting in strikes of her own. While her primary target remained his face, she got her blows in wherever she could; all that mattered was that she keep wearing him down.
The more fatigued he gets, the less he’ll be able to defend against any of my attacks no matter where I aim them. If I wear him down enough, then I can really start thinking about delivering a finishing blow.
As the fight escalated in its intensity, so too did the crowd’s energy, and frantic cheers for both combatants rang out.
“That’s it lass, I knew ya had it in ya! C’mon kid, show ‘im what ya got!” Tiny roared.
“Damn it Brawny, come on, you’re better than this! Don’t let her overwhelm your defenses. Attack, attack, attack!” Storm cried out.
Atop the battlements, Aucune and Dämons Hengst remained silent as they looked on, though a faint smile seemed to be spreading on Aucune’s lips more and more with each punch and kick Derpy delivered. Seeing the potential that he’d known was there all along blossoming before his very eyes… it was extremely gratifying, to say the least.
Despite Brawny’s best efforts, with the whirlwind of blows that Derpy was landing seemingly everywhere, it wasn’t long till he came to the brink of exhaustion. All he could do at this point was try and keep up with his opponent, capering about him as she was, practically dancing circles around him light as a feather. Victory within her grasp, Derpy knew she still had to exercise caution, especially now; after all, few things were more dangerous than a cornered animal, as she’d so amply demonstrated just a short while ago. Like any cornered animal, she needed to lure Brawny out, so that she might deliver a truly crushing blow.
I’d say this calls for some Krav Pega. A brutal counterattack might be more effective here than an unhinged offense. Well, here goes nothing.
Bounding forward Derpy delivered a one-two punch followed up by a roundhouse kick to Brawny’s face before retreating back. The blows themselves were relatively light; their purpose was not to damage, but rather aggravate. Like a charm, they did just that; despite his fatigue, Derpy could tell Brawny wasn’t about to take that insult on top of the injury she’d already inflicted.
He’s bit the bait; time to reel him in.
Coming to a standstill, Derpy created what appeared to be an opening in her defenses, seemingly letting down her guard. While a fresh fighter probably wouldn’t fall for such a ruse, to the tired and irate Brawny, it was a dream come true. Mustering all his remaining energy, he charged forward, determined to take back the initiative. Raising his right foreleg, it seemed as though he was about to answer Derpy’s constant onslaught with a devastating blow.
Checkmate.
Quick as lightning Derpy caught Brawny’s foreleg midair. Before he knew what was happening, she was painfully kneeing him in the stomach again and again and again. But instead of stopping there, Derpy, grabbing his raised foreleg with both hooves, climbed atop his shoulders and, locking her legs around his neck, caught him in a headlock. Leaning forward from her mounted position, both ponies went tumbling down.
For a few seconds, Branwy feebly struggled, but it was no use. Derpy had him sprawled on the ground in a headlock, and to make matters worse still had one of his forelegs in her clutches as well. His body was simply at the end of its rope. It was clear that, in his condition, he couldn’t possibly escape Derpy’s hold, and so, reluctantly, the battered Brawny bitterly waved his remaining free foreleg in surrender. Observing Brawny’s act of submission, Aucune cleared his throat.
“Miss Hooves, you can let go now, if you’d be so kind!” he implored, catching Derpy’s attention.
Automatically relinquishing her grasp, Derpy promptly untangled her limbs and stood up, helping Brawny to his feet as well. Both panted heavily from their efforts, sweat and dirt clinging to their coats, though it was clear that Brawny was the worse for wear of the two. For a brief moment no particular thoughts registered in Derpy’s mind, just how very tired she felt as the adrenaline that’d largely been driving her efforts wound down. It was only when Aucune appeared in front of her that she noticed the cheers emanating all around her, and it began to sink in why the fight had to come a close.
Did I just… did I really-
Beaming with pride, Aucune grasped one of Derpy’s forelegs and, lifting it in the air, turned to the crowd.
“Brothers and sisters of the Ordo Extraordinarii, I give you your victor! Derpy Hooves stands before you, the indisputable champion of this kampfduell!”
The crowd roared its approval, hooves stomping so hard all around that it seemed to shake the very earth itself. Taking it all in, it was almost too much for Derpy. She’d never felt so elated, so accepted before in her life. These weren’t just her peers or instructors… this was her family. And she’d done her family proud today.
I did it. I won. The skills really are there; it’s not just a dream, not some abstract idea of potential. It’s real. Now… now I just gotta figure out what to do with it all. Find my purpose, my hard cause. But with the Order by my side, with their guidance and support, how can I fail? They’ve gotten me this far; now I just got a little further to go. Piece of cake. I mean, what could go wrong?
Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Surpassed all expectations yet again. They can’t possibly deny her full membership, not now, not after that display. The meeting should be naught but a mere formality. After that, we turn our eyes, all of us, together, onto greater things.
A million possibilities ranged through the delighted Aucune’s mind as he trotted almost merrily through the dimly lit corridor. Night had fallen, and most of the castle’s residents had retired for the night to their chambers and cells. Besides the clip-clop of Aucune’s hooves, it was quiet as the grave. The silence might’ve generated uneasiness in most, but not Aucune; after all, this was his home. On top of that, he was feeling far happier than he had in some time, at least compared to his normal disposition, which generally fluctuated from steely cynicism to sober stoicism.
Hard to believe it’s all coming together, but it is, it truly is. Life’s certainly thrown its fair share of wrenches my way, but now, for once, everything’s going to be just as it should be.
Slow down, you mustn’t get ahead of yourself, you’re not there yet. Still, I can’t deny this is a gigantic step. None can. The ramifications of what she achieved… I can’t even begin to imagine where her potential ends. The sky’s simply the limit with her! Surely they must see that; it’s clear as day to me.
Coming to the end of the corridor, Aucune entered into a small sideroom, shutting the thick door behind him and fastening a latch inside. On the surface there wasn’t anything particularly noteworthy about the room; to the casual onlooker it was just a tiny, out-of-the-way space. It was exceptional, however, in that it was built with one purpose in mind: privacy. It was one of the few rooms in the whole keep with a lock, and there were no other nearby rooms in the vicinity by which nosy parties might listen in on conversations through the walls. The door itself was four inches thick and made of solid oak, with no cracks or crannies to speak of. Whatever was spoken here would not be heard outside of this room.
Inside was nothing more than a small, hardwood table, around which sat six of Aucune’s colleagues: Brawny Charger, Fiery Zephyr, Lightning Flicker, Storm Spirit, Charming Masquerade, and-
“And just what do you think you’re doing in my seat, Bitter Sweet?” Aucune sharply asked.
“Don’t you mean Dämons Hengst?” Storm Spirit countered, chuckling to herself. A few tensed up at her jape, but Aucune didn’t seem bothered by it.
“I just don’t see any point in us carrying on with this ruse in such a private setting. It’s quite needless, really,” Aucune explained. He sounded almost jovial, but there was a distinct edge to his voice that did not escape any in the room. All eyes fixed on him, Aucune strode over to the black unicorn sitting at the head of the table till he was standing directly beside him.
“I assumed Brother Bitter would’ve likewise recognized the needlessness for this charade here,” he continued, staring down at the unicorn as he spoke, eyes narrowed. “Unless, of course, you’ve been playing this role for so long that you’ve simply forgotten who the real Demon’s Stallion is.”
Finally turning to face his piercing gaze, the older unicorn looked up at Aucune and smiled.
“My apologies, sir. The appropriate formality must’ve slipped my mind. You know how old minds get; sometimes it’s as though everything goes over our heads.” The others chortled halfheartedly and Bitter Sweet tried to get out of his seat, but Aucune abruptly placed a hoof on his shoulder. Bending down to his level, his face mere inches away from Bitter’s, he whispered,
“Say it to me: who are you?”
Staring back at him with a hard look of his own, the elder slowly answered in a low voice, “I’m Bitter Sweet.”
“And who am I?” Aucune asked.
“You’re Dämons Hengst.”
“Very good. You may take your seat now.”
Releasing his grip, the true Dämons Hengst remained standing until Bitter Sweet and the rest of his subordinates had shifted and settled into new seats. After surveying them all for a moment, giving particular attention to Bitter Sweet, he finally sat down at the head of the table.
Presumptuous codger. You knew exactly what you were doing. Best keep an eye on that.
Taking note of the tension that now hung in the air, Dämons tried to allay his subordinates’ unease by switching topics.
“How are you faring Brawny? I hope Miss Hooves didn’t rough you up too much,” he said, chuckling softly. A few laughed quietly along with him at the ribbing, including Brawny.
“Nah, don’t worry about me sir, I’m fine. Only thing Derpy hurt was my pride, is all,” Brawny reassured him, though one certainly couldn’t blame Dämons for asking given the former’s appearance. Two already prominent black and blue bruises protruded beneath each of Brawny’s eyes, and bandages lined his battered, somewhat crooked nose and muzzle; at first glance, one might’ve thought he’d just been waylaid by some wild animal. Whether he was just downplaying the extent of his injuries, or they were merely superficial and simply looked worse than they were, Dämons could not say with certainty.
“Very good, though rest assured there’s no shame in losing to one such as she,” Dämons said.
“Best watch yourself, though, runt; I gotta work with that lumbering oaf Tiny Taste for a whole month because you couldn’t take down a pony half your size. You’ll be lucky if I don’t hurt more than your pride after costing me that bet!” Storm Spirit jokingly threatened her former student.
“Aw c’mon Storm, it’s not like he told you to bet on him or anything. You were practically begging the whole crowd for a wager, we all saw it,” Fiery Zephyr retorted.
“Plus I did advise you against gambling at all in the first place,” Lightning Flicker reminded her.
“What are you, my mother?” Storm asked in mock disbelief. “Layoff, all of ya, I didn’t say I’m not going to honor my bet; I am a mare of my word.”
“If nothing else,” Charming Masquerade added. Almost everyone in the room burst into fits of laughter at that, and even Charming cracked a grin at his rare wisecrack.
“Alright, alright, settle down,” Dämons beseeched his colleagues. “I think we can all agree that Storm here doesn’t always think through her actions as thoroughly as she should. That said, let’s get down to business. In light of her success in today’s bout, I’d like for us to review Derpy Hooves’ progress to date since she joined us. Brother Brawny, if you would, please share your thoughts on Miss Hooves.”
“Derpy? Well, I’ve liked everything I’ve seen from her, that’s for sure. She’s a hard worker, consistent in both her perseverance and rate of progression. No matter what I throw at her in our workouts, she always manages to slog her way through it. And as for her combat skills, well, I learned firsthoof today just where exactly she’s at in that regard. All in all, Derpy’s in peak physical form for a pegasus of her age and size, no doubt about that.”
“Speaking of her physical fitness as a fellow pegasus, might I just add that Derpy’s grown into a hell of a flier,” Fiery chimed in. “She’s not the fastest I’ve ever seen, but she’s got fantastic control and agility. Perfect for combat and rapid movements both on land and in open air.”
“Duly noted,” Dämons said. “Has she displayed any problematic ineptitude in her motor skills during her time with you?”
Brawny shook his head. “Nope, none of the nature that you mentioned she exhibited during Innere Eroberung. As far as I can tell, Derpy’s got total control over all her physical faculties.”
“Excellent. I think that about covers her basic physical fitness, so let’s segue from there into her skill in the martial arts. In the past year, Miss Hooves has undertaken studies in the martial arts of katrote, Krav Pega, and Wing Chun, taught by myself, Fiery Zephyr, and Storm Spirit, respectfully. She has also studied unconventional warfare and espionage in her ninjutsu studies under the tutelage of Charming Masquerade, but we’ll cover those studies separately.” Dämons took a sip of water from a nearby cup before he continued, clearing his throat.
“That’s better. Now to start, I want to thank you all for going along with this little of experiment of mine and maintaining discretion throughout. To date, Miss Hooves remains unaware of the extraordinary nature of her training regimen, and I’d like to keep it that way, at least for a little while longer. I know training a student in so many disciplines simultaneously has not been easy for any of you, and struck some of you as foolhardy when I first proposed it, but as I told you before, the scope of her potential was too great to pass this opportunity up, and I believe that now it’s safe to say that our gambit is starting to pay off. So again, thank you all for your trust and commitment to this course.”
“Since I began tutoring Miss Hooves in katrote, she has progressed in the last year to a level of skill that normally one would not see a student achieve in no less than five years, sometimes as many as ten. This while simultaneously being tutored in two other martial arts. Fiery, Storm, what about you?”
“I’d say she’s advanced about the same in her Wing Chun,” Storm divulged. “I even said as much before the kampfduell today: she’s at least at the same level in that art alone that Brawny was after five years of study and practice, and till now he’s the finest student I’ve ever taught in that art.”
“I’ve seen much the same in our Krav Pega lessons,” Fiery said. “It bears mentioning too that in recent months I’ve noticed in our sparring sessions that she’s been incorporating all three martial arts together into a hybrid style. I saw as much in today’s bout as well. This seems partly natural, partly deliberate; she’s grown so accustomed to all three that she knows how to utilize them together to her advantage. Putting it mildly, this rate of progression is unprecedented, to say the least.”
“I agree, but we’ll discuss that in greater detail later,” Dämons said. “Suffice it to say, against all odds and past precedent, Derpy Hooves has mastered three different martial arts in a year. Charming, what about you: how’ve her ninjutsu studies gone?”
Charming considered the question for a moment in silence before simply answering, “Very well.”
Dämons rolled his eyes. “Would you care to expand upon that assessment just a tad, Charming?” he asked.
“Sure. She’s a good observer. Knows how to watch, listen, take in her surroundings, adapt. Very silent on her hooves, can be quiet in flight when she needs to be. Has a more than satisfactory grasp of the concepts and principles of ninjutsu. Her size may be a factor there: she understands the importance of properly applying unconventional tactics to her advantage, given her smaller build.”
“What sorts of weapons does she employ?” Fiery asked suddenly.
“Light ones, any she can easily carry. Throwing darts and caltrops are two favorites of hers.”
“Figured as much,” Fiery said. “Early on I tried to train Derpy in a number of more conventional weapons, but that didn’t go so well. Spears and other staff mounted weapons are a bit awkward for her, I think that has something to do with their size more than their weight. Hammer hooves are too heavy for her. We did some basic lessons with wing blades, but that was it. She’d probably be able to handle hoof-mounted blades and even a custom-built set of wing blades, one which was light enough for her to handle with ease in flight, but she didn’t seem particularly interested in either option. She almost seemed uncomfortable at the prospect of learning either. But you say she’s got no trouble at all with those lighter weapons?”
“None,” Charming answered. “Probably would employ more if she could. Options are limited, especially seeing as we haven’t even covered magical weapons yet. She’s aware of objects like enchanted gems and their applications, just hasn’t trained with them.”
“We can worry about that later,” Dämons interjected. “Charming, is Miss Hooves advanced enough in her ninjutsu studies that she could practice what she’s learned in the field?”
“Yes,” Charming said without pause, then added, “she’d do better than most.”
“High praise from you indeed. Let’s wrap things up with her intellectual studies. Sister Lightning, if you’d be so kind, how has the development of Miss Hooves’ mental faculties gone?”
“Oh it’s been splendid,” Lightning began. “Derpy’s been a wonderful student. She eats up anything and everything we cover: history, philosophy, literature, you name it. Whatever mental blocks she had when she first joined us are long gone by now; she has a remarkable capacity for retaining information. I wouldn’t say she possesses an eidetic memory, she just… she wants to learn. All the things she couldn’t do before, it’s like her mind and spirit are free for the first time in her life.
“She loves pushing her limits, really throwing her mind into our studies, and from what I’ve seen, and from what you’ve all said, it sounds like she does the same in all of her other lessons as well. She’s only going to keep learning more, and it’s not because of her mental faculties, impressive as they are; it’s this drive that she has, this insistent drive that pushes her to keep bettering herself as much as possible. It’s not ambition, because she’s not doing this for herself, or at least not bettering herself for her own sake. No, it’s an… an impulse, a fire in her belly to become the best pony she can be for those around her. When you get right down to it, what Derpy wants most, even more than improving herself, is to help others. Her head’s not only in the right place, her heart is as well.”
“Fantastic to hear, Lightning. Really, when you get down to it, what is more important than the heart’s condition my brothers and sisters? On top of everything we’ve already heard, now we have this: a pony who’s not only a prodigy the likes of which we’ve never encountered, but with a good heart to boot. She genuinely wants to help others, and we know she has the means to do it. All we have left to do is enable her. So I motion here and now that we initiate Derpy Hooves as soon as possible into the-”
“Ahem.”
Startled, Dämons turned to his left where the abrupt interruption had come from, only to find Bitter Sweet staring hard back at him.
“Uh… yes, Brother Bitter?”
“You did not ask my opinion of her,” he pointed out, his displeasure apparent.
“Didn’t I? Ah… you’re right. Must’ve slipped my mind. You had something to say?”
“Why yes, as a matter of fact I did. I may not have been one of her tutors, but need I remind you that you appointed me to pose as yourself not only so that you might work more closely with her, but also so that I may observe her development from a distance, uninfluenced by the intimacy that so often comes with such close association as personal tutelage.”
“What’s your point?” Dämons testily asked.
“My point is that I’ve had the opportunity to observe Miss Hooves from an entirely different perspective than the rest of you. From said perspective, I’ve been able to observe things that you all, it seems, have overlooked. In my humble opinion, these things should be cause for some concern.” There was an unnerving easiness to Bitter Sweet’s voice. It seemed too forced in its nonchalance, as though it were concealing the true spirit of his words. As Bitter continued, Dämons attempted to ascertain that spirit while he listened.
“Sister Lightning, if you’d be so kind, I’d like you to answer a simple question for me: is Miss Hooves capable of killing?”
“Why, whatever do you mean?” Lighting asked, clearly perturbed by the question.
“Exactly what I said: is she capable of killing? I don’t mean is she physically capable of doing so, I’ve no doubt she is. But mentally is she in a position where she’d be willing to take another’s life if the Order demanded it?”
“Why are you asking me?”
“Because you have an exceptional talent for gauging personal character, as you just demonstrated,” Bitter replied. “As far as I’m concerned, you’re more qualified than anyone else in this room to answer my question. So please, if you will.”
Lightning’s eyes darted back and forth between Dämons and Bitter while she thought up a response. After awhile, not wanting to meet either of their gazes, her eyes drifted down, settling on the table in front of her. Finally, after an uncomfortably long silence, she began, not raising her eyes.
“Derpy is… she… she has strong convictions, very strong. She truly wants to take what she’s learned, the skills she’s acquired, and use all of it to help others. She recognizes that there’s much injustice in Equestria and that it must be dealt with. That said… she’s very uncomfortable with the notion of death. Not in an immature sense, mind you. If anything, she has a very mature sense of death and its import. She understands and seems to accept the notion of taking a life for just reasons, and also understands that there’s a need for ponies out there willing to do just that.
“But personally, I don’t think she could ever bring herself to take another’s life, not unless it were an extreme emergency. Her mother’s death simply left too big of an impact on her to do so; she understands the pain that comes with such a loss, and I don’t think she’d be able to take somepony else’s life knowing she might be bringing that very same pain to another. This isn’t pacifism, mind you, it’s a… it’s sort of an insecurity. No matter what lengths she might be willing to take, she does not seem to conceive of herself as worthy of taking another’s life, and for better or worse, that’s just who she is.”
“Thank you Lightning,” Bitter said. There was a ravenous look in his eyes, like that of a shark closing in for a kill. “One more question: what is the extent of her notion of ‘just’ killing?”
“I don’t know. I honestly don’t know,” Lightning answered, almost whispering it. For a minute nopony said a word, but then, just as suddenly as the room had fallen silent, Dämons spoke up.
“Could you all please give Brother Bitter and I some privacy?” He seemed to be struggling to keep his voice level and composed. Without a word, everypony else got up and left; they knew better than to question their master, especially given his current temperament. Bitter himself rose from his seat with the rest of them and moved to the other end of the table, now sitting directly opposite his superior. As soon as the rest had left and securely shut the door behind them, Dämons turned to Bitter, glowering at him.
“What is this game you’re playing?” he savagely demanded. Bitter remained calm as ever and shook his head.
“You mistake genuine apprehension for political machinations, brother,” he answered.
“Is that so? Well then, please, by all means, explain your ‘concerns’,” Dämons bid.
“You heard it yourself. Derpy Hooves is unwilling, perhaps even incapable, of taking another’s life. What’s more, we don’t even know for sure what she considers to be a just rationale for killing, but I have an idea of what she wouldn’t be alright with, and it includes that which we’d be asking her to be a part of as one of our own.”
“You don’t know that,” Dämons declared.
“No, I don’t. But neither do you. That is my real concern, just how little we do know about her. Her intentions, motivations, they’re a mystery to all of us. The little we do know for sure does not suggest that she’d be inclined to support us in our efforts. But most galling of all, perhaps, is that you yourself know as little as the rest of us. You, who sought her out in the first place, invited her here, and have worked more closely with her than any of us. Yet you, like the rest of us, still haven’t the faintest notion whether or not she has the heart for our cause! That is simply unheard of, and I cannot in good conscience possibly endorse initiating anyone who remains such a wild card. It’d be like playing with fire and hoping to get burned.”
Some of the fire left Dämons’ eyes as he considered the merit of his comrade’s words. He still offered nothing more than a black scowl in Bitter’s direction, but his good sense was starting to get the better of his initial shock and anger at his lieutenant’s unexpected objection. Much as he hated to admit it, there was more than a little truth in what he was saying. All the same, he remained on guard; Bitter had given him considerable trouble more than a few times over the years, and Dämons was not yet convinced that there wasn’t more to this opposition than he was currently letting on.
“I’ll admit it’s possible I may have overlooked this particular aspect of Miss Hooves’ psyche. In my defense, I have only worked with her for a year.”
“That’s not an excuse and you know it, not in this case!” Bitter spat. “You knew very well going in that you’d have a limited timetable to train her. Plans which you yourself set in motion are coming to a head, and to see those plans brought to fruition, the Order more than anything else right now needs unity in its ranks and everyone’s full attention and devotion to seeing Operation Herz Sturm through. That doesn’t just include her, that includes you, more than anypony else.”
“Just what are you saying, Bitter?” Dämons asked, the slightest hint of suspicion tinting his words.
“Simple: you’ve grown too attached to her. And in doing so, in overlooking so many facets of her character, you’ve not only compromised your position as her teacher, but also your position as our leader.”
For a moment, neither of them said another word. They both knew full well the implications of what’d just been said; in a split second, the conversation had gone from being a mere dispute over Derpy’s loyalty to an all-out challenge of Dämons’ authority.
“Is that it?” Dämons asked acidly. “Come now, if you’ve got something more to say, say it. Let’s have it, Bitter, all of it.”
“Gladly,” Bitter rejoined, though the slightest tinge of hesitation colored his words. “Frankly, I wouldn’t be so worried about all this if not for one other thing: you’ve done this before. A lot. Time and again, you’ve let personal biases cloud your better judgment of others, namely, those you’ve personally taken under your own wing. What’s more, only bad has come from this. Friends and the Order have suffered whenever you’ve allowed your feelings to blind you in the past. We’ve bounced back from your failures, yes, but we still bear the scars. And now, when we stand on the verge of making history like never before, a position our Order has not been in in centuries, what do you do? You bring in an unpredictable variable, a wild card that could just as easily betray us as she could assist us, simply presuming that she’ll gladly serve as another cog in our machine, no questions asked.”
That got Dämons blood boiling, and for an instant a burning fury consumed him. He opened his mouth as though about to launch into a violent outburst, but barely stopped himself. Recovering his composure, he hung his head, his face downcast. He looked ashamed, and his body was practically shaking as the truth of Bitter’s words soaked in. He hated that Bitter was right, and he hated himself even more for trying to deny it. After struggling to find the right words for some minutes, Dämons took a few deep breaths, recovering his typical coolness, and, lifting his gaze, looked Bitter in the eye once more.
“You’re right. As much as I hate to admit it, you are right. I’ve failed too many times, and too many have suffered because of my failures. I hope you can appreciate how difficult it is for me to admit this, especially to you. The truth is a hard thing for all of us sometimes, a hard, ugly thing that we don’t want to face. What’s worse is when someone we don’t particularly care for forces us to face the truth, and I for one most certainly do not care for you, Bitter.”
“The feeling’s mutual,” Bitter replied. “But you already knew that.”
“But of course. We’ve both known it for years. You’ve resented me ever since I became the Demon’s Stallion and took that which you thought was yours by right. Through the years, you’ve never failed to give me trouble whenever you got the chance, and why wouldn’t you? I’m the wellspring of your deepest insecurities and feelings of failure and inadequacy, and you, well, you’re a constant pain in my flank. And yet we’ve still managed to work side by side for all these years. Have you ever wondered why?”
“It crosses my mind from time to time. More often that I’d like,” Bitter admitted.
“Mine too,” Dämons said. “I think I figured it out some years ago. You can’t get rid of me because the Order needs me; my genius, ambition, and the will to see my hopes and dreams for the Order become reality, you’ve never been able to match any of these qualities of mine. I, on the other hoof, can’t get rid of you because I need you, somepony willing to say ‘no’ to my ideas, a critical voice more than ready to scrutinize my every move. You’re the only one of my lieutenants older than I, and your counsel has proven invaluable through the years.”
“I’m touched, but what’s your point?” Bitter asked, wondering what exactly Dämons was getting at.
“My point is that you need to know that I really do appreciate what you have to say, Bitter. I don’t know what I would’ve done without your advice, critiques, counsel, and guidance. I trust you, Bitter, like I’m trusting you now. Miss Hooves is not at an ideal point mentally to join our ranks, that much I can concede. I trust your judgment. Now, however, I need to ask you to trust me in turn.”
“What do you mean?”
“Bitter, I am her teacher, just as I am the Order’s leader. It is my right and responsibility, both as her teacher and your leader, to fix this. I know I’m asking a lot of you, but I need you to trust me when I say that I believe wholeheartedly that she can be won over to our cause. I just need you to trust me to handle it, my way, in my time. I know that we are working on a very tight timetable, but I just know, with every fiber of my being, that Derpy can and will play a vital role in the coming enterprise. It won’t be like before; I won’t let it. Understood?”
Slowly, without saying a word, Bitter nodded, his visage one of guarded neutrality.
“Well? Do you trust me?”
Again, he silently nodded.
“Say it,” Dämons commanded.
“I trust you, sir,” Bitter said, his tone as neutral as his countenance. Dämons didn’t quite know what to make of his attitude, but for the time being, that was good enough for him. As far as he was concerned, a potential crisis had just been averted.
“Thank you, my friend. You are dismissed.” With a wave of his hoof, Dämons beckoned Bitter to take his leave, and the latter promptly arose from his seat and departed, shutting the door behind him with a resounding thud. Slumping in his chair, Dämons breathed a long, drawn out sigh of relief, and for some time just stared up at the featureless ceiling.
Well… that could’ve gone better. Then again, I suppose it could just as easily have gone worse. Why now? He’s questioned my authority plenty in the past, but never outright challenged it, not like this: so why now? It’s always damn hard trying to figure out with him whether his opinions are born of legitimate concerns, jealousy, or both. In any case, something tells me I haven’t heard the last of this.
Whatever his motives may have been, however, he did, regrettably, have a point. She’s not ready, and that’s partly my fault. But… I can fix this. I know I can. All I have to do is win her heart to our cause; it’s as simple as that! She can be won, of that I am certain. She must be won; we’ve come too far to turn back now, to squander all our hard work and simply toss aside someone who might very well be the future of the Order.
I just need a little more time, is all. Why is it that those commodities which we need the most are always the shortest in supply? Eh, no matter, I work best under pressure anyway. Still, this will be a delicate process, and must be handled with the utmost care; she must be eased into accepting our mindset, slowly but surely. Yes, that ought to do it: slowly but surely. She’s so close, and she’s already taken so many steps towards becoming one of us all on her own; I shouldn’t even need to do much myself, all she needs at this point is a little nudge in the right direction. The rest is up to her.
She hasn’t let me down once; she won’t let me down now. I will lead us all into a brighter tomorrow, and she’ll be right at my side through it all, ready to take the reins when my time comes to an end. She will be our future. I swear it.
Fears and past failures, toils and triumphs, a lifetime full of joy and sorrow, all this and much more seemed to file in a tumultuous procession before Dämons’ very eyes. At the end of it all stood the future in all its terrifying uncertainty; no matter how much he tried to grasp, infer, subdue, or control it, it always managed to elude his reach. It filled him with dread now, to think of what was to come, what might go wrong, the interminable list of possibilities that lay before him. There was only one certainty at the end of that road, that grey horizon which he, like all before and after him, must pass in the end. All else was uncertainty.
No… no… all our dreams will become realities. All of them.
Back in his own cell, darker thoughts occupied Bitter Sweet’s mind. Pacing about, driven by an intense fury, an intricate design of his own began to formulate.
Damn fool’s as blind as ever! Pride, ambition, stubbornness, they’re all blinding him to the reality staring him in the face. She’s not one of us, and she never will be! He is setting us all up for calamity, and he can’t even see it.
No more. I’ve put up with this for far too long. We can’t be dealing with this, not now, not with so much at stake. This is my chance, my time, and this last failure of his will secure my ascendancy to my rightful place. I will lead the Order to the coming dawn because I must. He had his chance, and he chose to squander it on a filly who’s more dangerous to us than she’s worth.
Sorry, Dämons, but you’ve left me no choice. After I’ve dealt with her, your masquerade will be revealed for the farcical façade that it’s been, your leadership, upended once and for all. ‘Tis only for the greater good.
“As I’ve said multiple times already, you need not have closed them at all in the first place.”
“Well, you said you had a surprise for me; I just want it to be as much of a surprise as possible!”
“Yes, well your enthusiasm, endearing as it may be, has also already delayed our arrival significantly. Not to mention the alarming amount of walls you’ve flown into.”
“Oh come on, it’s not my fault you’re a lousy navigator. You gotta be telling me when to turn those corners.”
“Ah yes, of course, how silly of me, how could I possibly have forgotten that I’m the careless one in all this, because, as we all know, there’s absolutely nothing reckless whatsoever about flying blind in a narrow passageway?”
“It’s less reckless than flying in general would’ve been for me a year ago.”
“Hm, well, you may be right about that.” Both Derpy and Aucune enjoyed a good chuckle at that, the sounds of their playful banter echoing down the corridor. More than a few passersby burst into giggles and fits of laughter as well at the absurd sight of Derpy flying beside the normally austere Aucune with her hooves over her eyes. This wasn’t the usual laughter of derision that Derpy’d grown all too accustomed to through the years; it was a true mirth that all could share in and enjoy in equal measure, the type of laughs that Pinkie Pie had always been so good at eliciting in countless crowds back in Ponyville.
She liked it. It felt right.
“Well, here we are,” Aucune announced.
“Where’s here?” Derpy asked.
“Oh for heaven’s sake, uncover your eyes already!” he enjoined.
“Nuh uh, not until it’s time for my surprise,” Derpy insisted, much to Aucune’s exasperation.
“Ugh, fine, have it your way, you silly filly. If you must know, we’re at my cell.”
“That’s not the surprise, is it?”
“Of course not,” Aucune replied as the two entered the cramped quarters.
“Good.”
“Why in Equestria would that be the surprise? That’d be a terrible surprise! I’m not sure it even qualifies as a surprise.”
“I don’t know. Some ponies have really terrible conceptions of what a good surprise is.”
“True, but I’d hope nopony in their right mind would ever actually think that that constitutes a good surprise.”
“Doesn’t mean they’re not out there,” Derpy teased, still shielding her eyes with her forehooves.
“Fine, if you insist on taking this illogical conversation to its ‘logical’ conclusion, I’ll concede that there’s a remote possibility that somewhere out there, there exists a dullard who could conceive of something so banal as this as qualifying as a surprise. Happy now?”
“Yes, very.” The two laughed once more, barely able to contain themselves at the plain silliness of their ridiculous tangent. The fact that Aucune was laughing along with her at all only made her mirth all the more gratifying; when she’d first met him, Derpy could never have dreamed of sharing so much as a chuckle with the stoic stallion. But now? Well, needless to say, she wasn’t the only pony in Die Schmiede who’d changed for the better in the past year.
“Well now, are you ready for your surprise, or would you rather continue to hover there with your eyes shut? Because you can if you want, really, I can see the appeal in the latter.”
“Tempting as that sounds, I think I’ll settle for the surprise.” Truth be told, Derpy was terribly keen to find out just what exactly Aucune had in store for her. Up to this point the only surprises he’d ever given her had been soaking her in ice-cold water now and then as a morning wake up call, but she was pretty sure that’s not what he had in mind now. At least she hoped it wasn’t. Touching down beside him, Derpy lowered her forehooves, but kept her eyes closed. “S’alright for me to look?”
“By all means, Miss Hooves.” As she opened her eyes, Derpy caught her breath when she beheld the sight before her: a mannequin clad in a gleaming new suit of armor.
“What? I can’t – no way, that’s not – are you serious?” Derpy stuttered more than a colt on his first date, trying to wrap her head around what she was looking at. “Is that for… me?”
“It’s certainly not for anypony else.” Aucune trotted over to the breathtaking gift and beckoned his pupil to join him, which she readily did. “It’s not really a ‘full’ suit of armor in the traditional sense; there’s no helmet or croupiere like you’d see the Royal Guard wearing. Don’t worry, though, that’s deliberate. Protection is undoubtedly critical, but we wouldn’t want to slow you down, now, would we? I don’t like bogging down any of our members beneath unnecessary accoutrements; if you’re in our ranks, you should be more than capable of taking care of yourself in dangerous situations with next to nothing on. Still, better safe than sorry, and I’m confident you’ll have no trouble handling this modest amount of equipment.”
“Modest?” Derpy blurted in disbelief. “You think this is ‘modest’? No, this is… this is too much.”
“Oh? You think it’ll weigh you down?” Aucune asked with concern.
“Oh no, gosh no, not like that!” Derpy emphatically assured him. “No, I just meant that… Mister Magique, this is too much, too generous of you. How much trouble did you have to go through to put this all together?”
“Oh it wasn’t any trouble at all! Let me tell you, we have some exceptional blacksmiths here,” Aucune said with pride. “And ‘too much’? Don’t be ridiculous, you’ve more than earned this after all you’ve done.” Derpy raised a quizzical eyebrow at that.
“Earned it? What do you mean?” she asked.
“Well, truth be told, I was going to present this to you upon your formal initiation into the Order but I… well I just figured why wait? As far as I’m concerned, you’re already one of us in every way except name. Your spirit, the boundless strength and relentless determination you constantly exhibit, it embodies that which we all strive for here: to be our very best. I’ve never seen anyone make as fast a turn as you have. To go from such a desperate state to where you are now, it’s simply unheard of, and you should feel proud Miss Hooves, of all of it. This armor is testimony to what you’ve achieved, but more importantly, it’s a symbol of things to come, namely, your work. We all need our own ‘tools of the trade’; these are yours, and I’ve no doubt you’ll use them well.”
Listening to Aucune’s words of praise, Derpy felt a fiery blush burning her cheeks. He normally wasn’t this forward about anything, especially not compliments or flattery. She knew from the start that he’d always believed in her, hay, it was one of the prime reasons she’d come in the first place. Just having somepony at all who thought she could be something special had made so much of a difference for her. Now, on top of all that, she knew without a doubt that not only was Aucune a true friend, but that he felt the same way about her.
Still, this was a pretty unexpected development, all things considered, and a very pertinent thought suddenly occurred to her.
“What kind of work am I going to be doing, Mister Magique?” she asked somewhat apprehensively.
“Why, that’s up to you, my dear,” Aucune maintained. “It’s been up to you this entire time. We all must do our part for the good of the Order and Equestria, and we do so by pursuing the best paths for ourselves. If at any point in Verbesserung you’d ever felt uncomfortable with the path you were taking, I would have adjusted your regimen appropriately to fit your needs. But you never objected. I merely presented you with a program that I felt corresponded with your talents and personality, and not once have you objected to it. If it hadn’t felt right, I’m sure you would’ve known early on and would’ve said so; as things stand, however, I can only assume that the path you’ve taken feels right and always has. Pray tell me I’m not wrong, Miss Hooves? That would be a most inconvenient bit of information to learn only now.”
Hmmm… can’t say Aucune ever told me I had a choice in all this, but I suppose he never said I had to pick up all these skills either. I probably would’ve spoken up if something ever felt off, so… yeah, I guess he’s right. These were just the right things for me to learn, the right skills to hone. I don’t exactly know yet why I need them, or what I’m going to do with them, but… I don’t know, I’ve just got this feeling in the pit of my stomach that I can do a lot of good with what I’ve learned. Just gotta follow your gut sometimes, I guess.
“No, you’re not wrong,” Derpy reassured her mentor. “Guess I still have some things to figure out, is all. That said, this is beautiful.” Shifting the conversation back to its original subject, Derpy ogled the armor once more, looking it up and down admiringly. “There’s not a doubt in my mind that I can put this gift to good use.”
“I’m glad you feel that way, and I wholeheartedly agree. Would you like to try it on, get a feel for it?”
“You bet I would!” Derpy replied.
“Very good, let’s start with the peytral then,” Aucune said, motioning towards the primary component of the armor. “The peytral’s your standard, steel chest plate, nothing too fancy or anything. As I said before, normally a peytral is complimented by a croupiere to protect your, er, hindquarters, but again, we feel that the trade-off for speed at the cost of some extra protection is worth it. Let’s see how it fits.”
Removing the jet black chest armor from the mannequin, Aucune helped Derpy ease into it, sliding it over her head and fitting it onto the front of her trunk.
“Uh, I hate to say this, Mister Magique, but it feels a bit big for m– woah!” Derpy jumped with fright as a blue shimmer suddenly resonated from the armor, which seemed to shrink until it snuggly fit her trunk and chest. “Woah… what just happened?”
“Apologies for the fright, Miss Hooves,” Aucune said, though evidently he seemed amused by his student’s reaction. “I didn’t have your measurements, so I had Charming take a look at it as soon as it’d been finished. He’s one of our more skilled enchanters, and was able to endow the armor with the ability to adjust its size according to the wearer.”
“Enchanted, huh? Any other magical goodies I should know about?” Derpy asked.
“Just a few. Defense upgrades improving its strength and magical resistance, a weight-reduction charm that makes the armor lighter than it already is for increased mobility, you know, pretty standard stuff.”
“Wow… cool,” Derpy remarked absentmindedly as she continued to admire the look and feel of the armor. It fit so well that it practically felt like a second skin, aside of course from its cold, metallic touch.
“I’m glad to see you like it, Miss Hooves, but why don’t you see how the hammer hooves feel as well?” Aucune suggested.
“Is that what they are?” Derpy asked, eyeing the four hoof coverings warily. “I’ve never actually trained with these before; they sounded like they’d be too heavy for me to handle.”
“Most would be,” Aucune agreed. “Don’t worry, though, these have been custom designed just like the peytral. They’ll adjust to your hooves’ size and all have a weight-reduction charm as well, perfect for a smaller pegasus such as yourself. Considerably less cumbersome than those massive, unwieldy hammer hooves that you’ll typically see earth ponies and larger stallions in general wielding on the battlefield. Well, go on, Miss Hooves, try ‘em.”
Derpy removed the hammer hooves from the mannequin and one by one slipped her hooves into them. As with the chest piece before, a blue shimmer emanated from the equipment as all four hammer hooves magically adjusted their size accordingly till they fit like a glove. True to Aucune’s word, they also felt quite a bit lighter than they looked; it really didn’t seem like they’d substantially hinder Derpy’s movement in any way, certainly no more than the peytral would. Derpy trotted in place for a few seconds, trying to get a feel for the whole suit.
“You know, it’s not that bad. I feel a lot looser than I thought I would with all this on.”
“Wonderful!” Aucune exclaimed. “I was, admittedly, a bit worried that you might not take a fancy to the armor, what with the added weight and all. Glad to see those fears were unfounded.”
“So what happens now?” Derpy asked, drawing a puzzled look from Aucune.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, where do we go from here?” she clarified.
“Well, uh, that’s a bit tricky,” Aucune replied, biting his lower lip. “You’re… you’re so close, Miss Hooves, you are so close to becoming one of us. There’s just a few more things we need to go over before we can make it official, but that’s literally all that’s standing in your way at this point!”
“What kind of things?”
“Well… I guess you could say matters of the future. We just need to talk about your future with the Order, what role you’d like to play, figure out where you’re going to fit in in the grand scheme of things. That’s quite literally it, Miss Hooves; compared to everything else you’ve already gone through, it should be a cakewalk to the finish line.”
Derpy felt a flood of elation. She’d conquered both literal and figurative mountains in the past year, but now all that stood between her and starting her life anew for good was a mere molehill by comparison. It all seemed a bit anticlimactic, really, but no matter how simple the task that lay before her, it still couldn’t take away from the electrifying excitement she now felt charging through her.
“Thank you. Just… thank you, again. For everything.” Aucune didn’t say a word, but merely nodded. Nothing else was needed besides that. Words couldn’t properly express the bond these two now shared, the gratitude they felt for each other. At this moment, the tranquil silence in the room spoke louder than any words they could’ve possibly mustered to describe the calm their souls felt. Right here, right now, in this perfect moment, it seemed that any hardship suffered, any turmoil at all, could only be a thing of the past. The future, murky as it may be, was at the same time bright with promise, and that promise of good things to come seemed as certain as the next day’s dawn.
Without another word, Derpy threw a hoof around Aucune’s neck and clasped him briefly in a quick embrace. Then she turned and left his cell, clad in the priceless gift.
Aucune looked on after her in the wake of her departure, a serene smile fixed on his face.
It really didn’t get much better than this.
Outside of Die Schmiede’s walls, a dull thump echoed repeatedly throughout the vale. Any curious bystanders drawn by the noise could watch from its walls and spy a grey and black blur energetically bolting to and fro within the arid field bound by the dirt track adjacent to the castle. Nimble as a ballerina, Derpy, clad in the armor so recently bequeathed to her, danced with ease about a wooden training dummy she’d set up. Darting in and out, she landed blow after blow upon the dummy; a kick here, a punch there, just about any combination of strikes she could think of was fair game.
She’d been getting used to the armor for the last couple of weeks, doing activities like this in her spare time when she wasn’t training with her instructors. The added weight was a new factor she had to account for, as well as the ways it constricted her movements, no matter how light or formfitting it was.
Front kick, left, left, right, right, left, right, side kick, side kick, retreat.
All things considered, however, she thought she was starting to get the hang of it. Flying, running, and practicing her martial arts techniques as she was now were all starting to pay dividends. Sure she’d been slower at first and experienced fatigue at a far faster rate, but she could tell her body was starting to get more comfortable with the added accoutrements. Her speed and stamina were increasing every day, and Derpy only kept pushing herself to improve even more. After all, there was always room to improve.
Derpy panted, taking gulps of air and giving herself a moment’s rest after that last series of strikes. Beads of sweat dripped from every inch of her body, and she retrieved a flask of water she’d brought along, greedily draining its contents. After emptying it she sat down, leaning against the old, beat-up training dummy fixed into the earth, eyes closed, and letting her train of thought come to a halt.
Unfortunately, the relaxing silence in the vale was quite suddenly broken by an unexpected source.
“Impressive work, Miss Hooves. You seem to be speedily growing accustomed to your new equipment.”
Derpy’s eyes shot open upon hearing the voice directly in front of her. Standing before her was none other than the imposing figure of Dämons Hengst, garbed in a black cloak to match his equally dark coat.
“Oh, uh, hello sir, how are you? Sorry, guess I’m a bit out of it, you kinda snuck up on me there.”
“Bah, think nothing of it. Anypony going as hard as you were would be out of it by now.” Dämons reassured her. “And I’m doing fine, thank you for asking, especially after watching you; as I said, impressive work, Miss Hooves, impressive work indeed. You already move like a natural in that armor, if I do say so myself.”
Derpy smiled appreciatively at the compliment, though simultaneously felt puzzled all the same. She hadn’t really interacted that much with the Order’s reclusive leader, so a compliment like that coming from him didn’t really have the same kind of personal impact on her like it would if Aucune, or anypony else closer to her for that matter, had said it instead.
Still nice of him to say it, regardless. Besides, I’m sure we’ll be working closer sooner or later, once I officially join the Order, so until then it can’t possibly hurt getting to know him better.
“Thank you, sir, that’s very kind of you to say,” she said, bowing her head in gratitude. “Glad to hear my technique seems to be holding up, I’ve mostly been getting used to this armor all on my own ever since Mister Magique gave it to me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been nice having some spare time to work with it, but everyone else has been so busy that I really haven’t had a second opinion to tell me whether or not I’m practicing with it properly.”
She shrugged and gave a light chuckle, but Dämons didn’t seem to notice. His eyes, although directed Derpy’s way, seemed distant, as though his mind were somewhere else. Noticing Derpy giving him a funny look, he blinked and gave a forced laugh as he snapped himself out of whatever train of thought he’d been on.
“Sorry, er, yes, of course, happy to help with… all that. I’m sure Aucune would be happy to assist you if he were here; maybe you’ll both be able to arrange something once he gets back.”
“Yeah, maybe. Do you know when he’s supposed to return?” Derpy asked.
“I cannot say, unfortunately. There was no set timetable for however long his business was supposed to take; all I know for sure is that it’ll be done whenever it’s done.”
Ah well, didn’t hurt to ask. Hope he gets back soon, though; I know it hasn’t been that long, but truth be told, I miss him already.
It’d been a couple days since Aucune had left the castle, apparently called away on some kind of important business. He’d been pretty vague about what exactly he was going away for, but Derpy figured it must be something important since in all the time she’d been at Die Schmiede, he hadn’t once left the castle or its alpine haven for anything at all. Whatever he was up to, she hoped it was going well; more importantly, she just hoped he came back soon. She knew that sounded a little selfish, but the whole place felt kind of empty without him, at least to her.
“Anyway,” Dämons continued, “back to business.”
“Business?” Derpy cocked her eyebrow ever so slightly.
“Yes, business. Specifically, the business of your future with the Order. I believe Aucune already filled you in about that, correct?”
“Well… kinda. He said we have to figure out what I’m going to be doing, but he didn’t really go into any more detail beyond that. Is there more to it?” Derpy asked.
A slight smile surfaced on Dämons’s thin lips. “Oh yes, just a bit more,” he answered. “Follow me, please.” Before she could say another word, Dämons began trotting away from her towards the mountains at the edge of the vale. Confused, the befuddled Derpy caught up with the unicorn as fast as she could, even though she had no idea what he was up to.
“So, no disrespect sir, but you mind telling me what exactly is going on?”
“Your final test, of course. Whatever future you may have with the Order ultimately hinges upon the strength of your commitment to us and our tenets. Before you can truly become one of us, you must first prove your loyalty.” Dämons didn’t say another word after that cryptic explanation, much to Derpy’s frustration. However, she figured she’d know what he meant soon enough, so for now she just silently followed his lead.
In the distance, unbeknownst to either of them, a lone figure watched the two from atop Die Schmiede’s walls.
“Hmmm… not good,” he muttered to himself.
Scrutinizing the mountains they were steadily approaching, it suddenly dawned on Derpy that she knew exactly where they were headed. The sight of a gaping black hole in the distance confirmed her intuition.
Wait… that’s the Dark Mile. What are we going there for? It’s just a tunnel from one end to the other.
“I hope I don’t have to prove my loyalty by flying through there all day again, Mister Hengst. Or maybe you want me to go for a week this time?” she playfully teased. Derpy’s jest, however, didn’t draw so much as a peep out of Dämons; apparently he didn’t have quite the sense of humor that Aucune did, if any at all. The two simply kept on cantering towards the Dark Mile as Derpy and Aucune had a year ago, and even though Dämons seemed as serious now as Aucune had been then, there was something more unpleasant about the former’s demeanor.
C’mon Derpy, you just don’t know him too well, that’s all. We’ve barely talked to each other, so it’s not like I should expect us to instantly be fast friends or anything. Besides, can’t really blame the guy for taking his job so seriously; I’m sure being in charge of the entire Order’s very serious work. Whatever he needs me to do, I’m sure it’ll all make sense once he explains it. That’s the way it’s always been with Aucune; all his tasks, no matter how nutty, have each had their own rational basis that became clear as day by the time I completed them.
Have faith, Derpy, just have faith. Trusting their wisdom’s gotten me this far already, so why question it now?
Arriving at the tunnel’s entrance, the pair didn’t so much as pause for breath and continued on their way, entering the Dark Mile. As they did, a low, faint moan seemed to be echoing throughout the passageway; at first Derpy just assumed it was the wind and shrugged it off, but the further they went, the louder it seemed to get. The peculiar noise only continued to grow in volume, and Derpy, growing considerably concerned, decided to say something.
“Mister Hengst, sir, do you hear that noise? I can’t say for sure, but I think there might be something in the tunnel with us. What do you think?” As before, however, Dämons said nothing yet again; it didn’t seem like he’d even noticed Derpy had spoken, much less the noise itself. Frustrated, Derpy resigned herself to continue trotting along beside him, though still determined to discover the source of that strange sound.
She didn’t have to wait long to find out what it was, but when she did, she wasn’t ready for it. In a thousand lifetimes in a thousand different Equestrias, she still might never have been ready for it.
About halfway through the Dark Mile, in a pool of light cast by one of the tunnel’s few skylights, lay what appeared to be a stallion with a burlap sack covering his head. When Derpy first caught sight of him, she wasn’t even entirely sure of what exactly she was looking at; his body seemed to be contorted, legs sprawled out in a very unnatural manner, and from a distance he looked more like a life-size marionette than a living being. Up close, it quickly became apparent why he looked so misshapen.
His legs had been broken. Not just one, no, as far as Derpy could tell all four of his legs had suffered fractures. Each one was bent outward at the same queer angle; whatever had happened to him, it’d been done deliberately and in a ruthlessly precise fashion. Marks in the dirt on the ground and scuffs on his legs suggested he had been attempting to crawl, but given his current state, his attempts to move had quite obviously been unsuccessful. He looked rather like a grotesque turtle or a squashed bug, so miserable and pathetic in his helplessness that one felt compelled to look away from him more than anything else. His muffled moans emanating from beneath the sack covering his face contained a combination of pain, fear, and desperation; Derpy couldn’t even begin to imagine what kind of pain he must’ve been in at the moment, and truthfully didn’t want to.
Horrified, she stood frozen in place, her mind grinding to a halt at the unfathomable sight before her. Unable to think of anything else to say, she just blurted out the first thing that came to mind.
“Sir… what the buck is this?”
“This is your final test,” Dämons replied in an unnervingly nonchalant manner. That snapped Derpy’s mind out of its petrified state, but now a million different thoughts were flying through it at lightning fast speed, namely every single possible implication of that simple but foreboding statement.
What the buck, what the buck, what the buck, what the buck, what the buck, what the buck, what the buck – OK, stop. Just… stop. Come on Derpy, get a grip. There’s got to be a logical explanation for this. There’s always a logical explanation. Just assess the situation, determine a sound course of action, and execute. Maybe he’s… uh… I don’t know, maybe I have to help him. Yeah, that sounds reasonable. Testing my ability to respond to a high-stakes, emergency scenario: why wouldn’t that be my final test? That has to be it.
Just when it seemed like she’d figured everything out, however, a new wrench got thrown into the works when Dämons removed the sack from the mysterious pony’s head, revealing him to be a unicorn. He had some sort of ring lodged around his horn, which Derpy suspected was for nullifying his magic, but something else stuck out to her besides that.
Wait a minute… I know this guy. Where the hay have I seen him befo –
“Look familiar, Miss Hooves?” Dämons asked sharply. “He should, though I’d understand if you didn’t recognize him at first glance. This fellow is –”
“Please!” the hapless unicorn suddenly croaked. “Please help me! Where am I? What am I doing here? Please, it hurts so much, I can’t even move.”
“Be silent!” Dämons commanded, and the terrified unicorn obliged, though he continued whimpering in pain. “As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, whether or not you remember him, you are in fact acquainted with the individual before you. Miss Hooves, I give you Copper Crust; you might recall that he was one of the wardens charged with guarding you during your brief incarceration at the Manehattan Correctional Facility last year.”
Oh horsefeathers, it’s that bad-tempered officer from the prison! Just what the hay is going on here?
While Derpy tried to wrap her mind around this inconceivable revelation, Dämons suddenly produced a dagger from beneath his cloak, levitating it with his magic.
“Today, you’re going to bring Mister Crust to justice,” he stated, guiding the razor-sharp blade until it hung in the air just beneath Copper Crust’s throat.
Again, Derpy was rendered speechless, though now it seemed perfectly clear what was expected of her. Nonetheless, she refused to believe what she was hearing; there just had to be something she was missing in all this madness.
“What exactly are you asking me to do, sir?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
“Simple: Copper Crust here represents everything we stand against. He has consistently displayed abusive behavior towards the prisoners under his charge, especially prisoners like you once were. The weak, the misfits, the invisible; they are the bread and butter of his cruelty, and he revels in their suffering. But you should already know this. You may have been there for only a day, but in that time did he not treat you with nothing but malice and disdain?”
“OK, yeah, so he’s a jerk, a really, really big jerk. I won’t deny that for a second. That still doesn’t explain why he’s here and looks like he just got mangled by a Timberwolf.”
“Doesn’t it?” Dämons asked rhetorically. “Copper Crust is not just one bad egg. He’s a symptom of a disease which permeates through all of Equestria: apathy. Apathy for the purposeless, indifference towards the lost in life. Any pony who fails to fit into this neat little order of life as defined by one’s cutie mark, either because they do not understand theirs or never even receive one, is simply left behind to wither and die. This veritable cult of the cutie mark is a cancer to our society, and individuals like Copper Crust are the worst offshoots of it.
“What do we do to cancers, Miss Hooves? We cut them out. That is the only course of action we can take with ponies like Copper Crust and his ilk. Every last trace of this disease must be ruthlessly purged from Equestria; only then will our nation have the opportunity to be truly healthy again. This is our mission, Miss Hooves. This is who we are and what we must do.”
Dumbfounded, Derpy just stared at the tearful unicorn before her, her eyes wide as saucer plates. Try as she might, she couldn’t bring herself to swallow the insanity Dämons was clearly trying to spoon-feed her. It just seemed so alien compared to everything else she’d been taught.
“Well, Miss Hooves, what’ll it be? Are you really one of us?”
At that moment, the crippled Copper Crust fearfully raised his eyes and met Derpy’s gaze, an act made all the more difficult by Dämons pressing his dagger even closer to his throat. In that instant, as their eyes met, Derpy saw a completely different stallion. Not just because this broken figure was but a mere shell of the irritable prison guard she knew him to be; that stallion was still there, past his humbled, broken body, of that she was certain.
But looking at him now, tears streaming down his face and mouthing ‘please’ over and over, something else stirred in her heart, something she could only describe as pity.
It wasn’t just pity for his sorry state. This was the same kind of pity she felt for those she had once been like herself, the weak, the helpless, the hopeless. Such ponies were practically kin to her, something she could definitely not say of him. If anything, Dämons was right; Copper Crust was everything the Order stood against. Yet looking at him now, this pony she should hate for what he was and what he stood for, Derpy felt nothing of the sort. In fact, hate was the furthest thing from her heart. She pitied him, felt sympathy for him, because she saw a pony like any other she’d gladly stand up for. He’d wronged others to be sure, of that she had no doubts; but whatever his past sins, he didn’t deserve this terror, and certainly not what Dämons was asking of her now.
Justice can be harsh to those who deserve it, but this isn’t… who am I to take a life? I’m not a soldier, I’m not a ruler, I’m just… me. I want to do right by others, to protect the innocent and punish wrongdoers. But justice… true justice means bringing justice to everyone the right way. If I become something worse than what I’m fighting against, then what am I? I certainly wouldn’t be me anymore. I’d just be replacing a bad guy with a… a monster.
That’s it! That’s gotta be what the test is. He can’t really want me to do this; nopony in their right mind would want me to do something like this! The Order’s dedicated to ponies being their best, and that means more than anything else doing right by our fellow pony in all we do. Getting to where you want to go is more than just ending up in the right place; it’s also taking the right path to get there. If I want to be a true member of the Order, I’ve got to be dedicated to doing the right things the right way.
An impatient Dämons beckoned Derpy once more to take the dagger in front of her, but she knew better. Shaking her head, she took a step back.
“I am one of you, Mister Hengst. That’s why I won’t do what you’re asking me to do. This isn’t who we are, and this isn’t how true good is accomplished. I see that now, and I’m ready to stick to that course in whatever I do.”
Yeah, she knew better. Any second now Dämons was going to bring this extremely unorthodox test to a conclusion and congratulate her on a job well done. Hay, maybe Copper himself was actually a member as well and his fractures were all some sort of illusion. Pretty soon she’d be laughing about this with all her friends back at Die Schmiede, regaling Aucune once he got back with stories of how Dämons really had almost gotten her with this ruse. There was just no other way this was all going to end.
In a flash, everything had slowed to a snail’s pace. Copper Crust slumped forward, his body seemingly floating in midair as it crashed to the ground. There was no resistance, no fighting, he simply dropped like a rock.
This isn’t happening.
The light had already left his eyes and he lay there on the ground staring off into space at eternity. For a few seconds more his throat emitted a nauseating gurgling noise, his body involuntarily twitching where it lay, but soon these last few traces of life ceased altogether.
This can’t be happening.
Then there was just nothing. Nothing at all. There was Derpy, and there was Dämons, but Copper was simply nothing now. Something that could never be reproduced again had just been viciously snuffed out right before her very eyes, and nothingness had taken its place. Derpy knew all too well about that nothingness, but she’d never actually seen it supplant life right in front of her. It was… it was…
This just happened. This really just happened.
A crimson pool was already spreading from the lifeless form before her, staining the ground beneath her hooves. Queasiness began overcoming her senses, but out of the corner of her eye the lightheaded Derpy suddenly became very aware that she herself was presently in grave danger. The fatal dagger still hung in the air, dirtied with Copper’s lifeblood, but now it was conspicuously pointed in her direction.
The reaction was almost instinctual. In fact, it’d only been a few seconds since Dämons had done the unthinkable. But in that short span Derpy did the only thing she could do, what she’d been taught to do in any situation like this: assess the situation, determine her course of action, and execute. Right now, she needed to do all that in the blink of an eye; what Dämons wasn’t expecting, however, was that she could.
Quick as a flash, Derpy lunged towards Dämons and slammed a hoof into the first thing she could think of: his horn. It was every unicorn’s weakest spot in close combat, and evidently Dämons had overlooked just how close they really were. Before he could conjure up a shield or raise a hoof to defend himself, Derpy was already on top of him.
Shrieking in pain, he staggered backwards, dropping the dagger from his magical grip as his magic temporarily dissipated. Derpy didn’t give him a chance to gain his bearings and started raining blows upon him. Despite the intensity of her attack, not to mention the pain he was in, Dämons’s experience still showed as he managed to parry most of her initial strikes, and for some time the two remained locked in combat.
After a short while, though, Dämons’s age also began to show as it caught up to him; he didn’t have the speed nor the stamina that he once had, and he was already in a great deal of pain from Derpy’s first blow. If they’d been outside, she would’ve been quite literally flying circles around him already, but as it was even the enclosed tunnel they were in was playing to Derpy’s advantage. The strike to his horn had left Dämons terribly dazed, and in the blackness of the Dark Mile, it was difficult for him to follow her rapid movements.
Dämons blocked another incoming blow to his horn, but this time that was exactly what Derpy wanted, and in one fluid movement, she followed up her feint with a round kick from her hind leg. With most of his body below his forehead now exposed, Dämons was helpless to block the devastating attack, and the kick caught him square on the jaw, knocking him sideways straight into a rock wall.
Derpy leapt upon him, intent on pummeling him some more, but stopped herself when she realized he was out cold. It took a moment or two for that to sink in.
What the – no way. Fight had barely begun, and he’s down for the count already?
It took a moment more for her to realize what she’d just done.
Oh buck.
With a start, Derpy recoiled away from Dämons’s motionless form as though it were diseased. Her whole body was trembling, and only now did she realize that tears had wet her cheeks.
No, no, no no no no no no no –
Derpy’s eyes darted back and forth between the unconscious Dämons and Copper Crust’s still warm corpse. She was still trying to convince herself that this was all real.
How did this happen? Why did this happen? What just happened? What?!
At that moment, it all hit her like a crashing wave; the ugly realization that in five short minutes everything she’d worked for had come crumbling down like a house of cards. Somehow she’d failed, and she still wasn’t even sure what she’d done wrong to begin with. But now someone was dead.
Oh no. He’s dead. He’s really dead. I… it’s my fault. I could’ve saved him, but I – what did I do wrong? Why did he kill him? Why did I fail? We’re the – they’re the good guys, right? They’ve been so good to me, to so many others. So why, why, why did he kill him? Good guys don’t kill the defenseless. Good guys don’t kill petty bullies. They’re just, and fair, and – this was just cold-blooded murder.
I gotta get out of here. Have to find someone and – no, no that’s no good. I just attacked Dämons Hengst for crying out loud! How exactly am I supposed to explain that?
A more bone-chilling thought suddenly occurred to her as well.
This was my test. My final test. The final test. The leader of the Ordo Extraordinarii gave this to me. They had to have known about this. Aucune, Lightning, the others; if they knew about this, and didn’t say anything… did they all have to do something like this? Do they approve? Why would they be okay with this? Why?
Her head was spinning, the whole world seemed upside down, and for the first time in a long time, she had no idea what to do. A cloud of desperation hung over her mind, darkening her every thought, but eventually, a single, solitary impulse did manage to break through it.
Run.
It wasn’t the answer she was looking for.
Run.
It wasn’t what she wanted.
Run.
But it was the only choice she had.
Run.
So she ran. Not back to the castle, to the Order, but away from it all. Away from her friends and mentors, the first place she’d really felt she belonged in years. It hurt, it hurt so much running from all that, but this changed everything. If they were alright with this, she didn’t want any part of it. She wouldn’t have any part of it. Not one bit.
She’d set out to become a better pony when this had all begun. That didn’t just mean on the outside; normal eyes or being able to fly straight, every skill she’d picked up over the past year, it’d all mean nothing if she used it for ill. Gifts and skills like that, they were meant for good, not evil.
I didn’t come here to become a bully… or something even worse. I came here so I could learn how to help others. How could something so ugly and hateful ever help anypony?
Galloping at a breakneck pace, as though she were being chased by the hordes of Tartarus itself, she drew closer and closer to the other end of the Dark Mile. She hadn’t quite figured out what she’d do when she reached the end, but she couldn’t go back. Not now. After the way Dämons had reacted, Derpy had a bad feeling the Order wouldn’t take too kindly to her disobeying their leader’s command and then proceeding to knock him out cold.
What if they come after me? Where can I – no. Can’t worry about that now. Just gotta take things one step at a time. Right now, all that matters is getting as far away from here as possible.
Soon she came out the other side and brought herself to a grinding halt, standing on the same small outcrop she’d wanted to lay down on so many times during that long day with Aucune a year ago. At that moment, she’d have given anything to live that day a thousand times over and more rather than another second of this nightmare. Catching her breath, Derpy stared out into space. On all sides she was boxed in by mountains, and below, nothing but a dark abyss lay before her, its depths obscured by a misty haze.
Can’t fly over the mountains. Too high, and the weather around them is a nightmare to navigate. That just leaves… oh horsefeathers.
She peered over the edge of the outcrop, trying her hardest to ascertain what lay at the bottom of the void. Try as she might, she couldn’t see a thing, not through all the mist. The already desperate situation was somehow now even more hopeless.
OK… can’t fly up, can’t fly around, and I have absolutely no idea what’s at the bottom of this chasm. Could be a way out, could be some nasty monster’s den. Hay, for all I know it’s bottomless. Guess anything’s possible at this point.
Maybe she could just go back. Try to explain herself to the Order, seek Dämons’s forgiveness. Maybe this had all just been a terrible misunderstanding. Maybe –
No. I’m not going back. Not after that. That’s just not an option anymore. But I’m not just waiting here to get caught either. I’m not giving up.
I came here because I was tired of giving up, because I wanted to make a difference. I’m still going to make that difference. I’ve gone through too much not to, and I’m not going to let some little cliff keep me from my destiny. Mom didn’t let the storm of the century keep her from saving others; why can’t I do the same? She’d like that now, wouldn’t she? Yeah, she’d like that.
I took a leap of faith coming here. I’ve done more after that one leap of faith than I ever did in my whole life before when all I did was play it safe. Well…
Checking to make sure her armor was securely fastened to her body, Derpy backed away from the edge, flapping her wings a few times to get them loose.
…I guess it’s time to take another leap of faith.
With a mad dash, Derpy charged toward the edge and jumped into space, flying down towards whatever future fate had in store for her.
In the blackness of the Dark Mile, Bitter Sweet’s motionless form stirred. Groaning groggily as he raised himself up from the tunnel floor, his gaze swept his surroundings. Finding nothing but the carcass of that stallion he’d knifed, he growled.
“Damn… wretched bitch,” he muttered to himself, running a hoof delicately over his sore horn. “Who knows where she’s got off to? If she talks to anyone, the game is up.”
Bitter surveyed the ground around him, looking for clues as to where Derpy could’ve possibly gone, until he spotted something most interesting.
“Hmmm, fresh tracks leading towards the other end of the tunnel. So… she’s running.”
He considered this state of affairs a moment longer before cracking a wicked grin.
“Yes, that’ll do nicely. It’s not ideal, but I can still work with it. Now to dispose of this thing.”
Working quickly, Bitter lifted the corpse beside him with his magic along with the dagger he’d brought along and set about looking for a suitable site to dump them both. The blood would be easy enough to conceal; this wasn’t the first time in his career he’d had to clean up a scene. All told, things were coming together quite nicely indeed.
Unbeknownst to the smug Bitter, however, the seeds of his own ruin were already being sown. Concealed in the shadows of the Dark Mile, another unicorn watched in silence.
“You’re sure of what you saw?”
“Positive.”
“Do we have a body?”
“Charming led Fiery and I to the crevice where Bitter dumped it. By good grace we found it on an outcropping and brought it up, but we couldn’t find the weapon. Figure it must’ve fallen further down, but we weren’t sure how far it went.”
“The body and Charming’s testimony should be enough. Any sign of Miss Hooves?”
“None besides tracks.”
“We sent out a few pegasi we managed to round up to scout the area in the direction she fled, but unfortunately we could only get so many without arousing Bitter’s suspicions. He’s gathered most of the Order together in the great hall, for what reason, we aren’t sure. All he’d say was that it was on account of a ‘matter of treason’.”
The true Dämons Hengst snorted derisively at that, though his demeanor was exuding more than mere mockery at the moment. There was a dangerous edge to his entire disposition, from his deliberate, fast-paced gait to the way his ears kept flicking every time Bitter’s name was mentioned.
Lightning Flicker and Charming Masquerade kept exchanging nervous glances with each other, but stayed close to Dämons. Despite a shared dread that something truly awful to behold was about to burst forth, they still trusted their leader, even in all his wrath, to get them through whatever was going on. These were the moments their trust was built up for, the times when everything seemed out of control even to the Order’s top officers. The pieces were moving every which way, manipulated in a manner they had not foreseen, and it was up to a maestro like Dämons to restore order and get the game back on track. The Order’s future depended on it.
“Matter of treason indeed. Fabricating treachery as a pretense to justify his own? Oh, that’s rich, but clever too. Very clever indeed. Where’s the body now?”
“We hid it in a shack in the outer ward. Fiery’s guarding it,” Lightning replied.
“Bitter’s not aware you have it?”
“He’s not even aware we know about it. Charming was very discrete when he followed him, and we went to the Dark Mile on the pretext that we were looking for signs of where Derpy went. Luckily most everypony was already gathered in the great hall when we returned.”
The gears continued turning in Dämons’s head, every impending step and maneuver coming together into a beautiful symmetry whose execution he could practically envision already. Few were born with the capacity for such vision, and only a hoofful of those who were developed it to a point where they could not only dream up the vision itself, but make it a reality.
Normally Dämons preferred playing the long game with his designs, especially the more ambitious ones, but he wouldn’t be much of a leader if he couldn’t plan on the fly. Perhaps it’d been so long since he’d had to that Bitter thought he might catch him off guard.
The poor fool, I almost pity him.
“All right, Lightning, I’ll need you and Fiery to fetch the body and bring it in on my command. Charming, you stay with me, I’ll need your testimony.”
“Of course, sir.”
“Where are Storm and Brawny?” Dämons asked.
“In the great hall. Charming filled them in on what happened, and they’re monitoring the situation, making sure things don’t get out of control.”
“Excellent. You’ve done good work, all of you. I’m proud of how you’ve conducted yourselves so far, but we’re not out of this yet, so stay vigilant and on your guard,” Dämons enjoined.
“Yes sir!” both deputies said in tandem.
While he was mostly trying to keep them focused, Dämons was truthfully very pleased with how his subordinates had handled things in his absence. They’d been effective and discrete in a crisis situation, doing what they could to uncover Bitter’s betrayal and hinder whatever he was up to. Charming and Lightning had even left Die Schmiede and the vale in the hopes of finding Dämons and bringing him back from Manehattan, unaware that he was already halfway up the mountain at that point, which they discovered (much to their surprise and relief) when they ran into him during their descent.
Even so, that small silver lining couldn’t stymie the ever-growing fury that threatened to engulf Dämons’s entire being more and more as they drew closer to Die Schmiede. Closer to Bitter. Closer to the traitor.
“Sir, if I may,” Lightning piped up, “what exactly is going on?”
“Something that’s been a long time coming, unfortunately,” Dämons answered soberly. “He’s never really accepted the legitimacy of my leadership. Couldn’t stand the fact that I was his junior, a youth with less years and experience granted authority over him and the entire Order. I don’t know what I did to push him over the edge, though. Maybe it’s a combination of egotism, jealousy, and delusion driving him now, I don’t know.
“What I do know is this; he’s more trouble than he’s worth, at this point. We’ve had our disputes, butted heads plenty of times, sure, but nothing he ever did in the past jeopardized the Order itself. I even appreciated his often healthy skepticism of my plans and actions; it’s what made him a valuable number two, having someone who wasn’t afraid to share his reservations. But this? This reeks of, at best, senility, at worst, rampant narcissism, but either way it’s treachery of the highest order and putting everything we’ve worked for at risk. That I will not tolerate, not for a minute.”
The sun was just dipping below the surrounding peaks as they crossed the bridge and approached the outer gate. As they neared the castle, Lightning quietly digested Dämons’s words. She’d seen him mad before, plenty of times, but this was different. This had cut him to the quick like few things could, and a distinct sense of grief tinged the intense furor that now resonated from him. In all the years she’d known him, Lightning could only recall one other occasion where she’d seen Dämons like this; that incident had almost torn the Order asunder. She shuddered, pushing such unhappy memories to the back of her mind and focusing on their present troubles.
“Sir… are you going to kill him?” she asked, fearing the answer, but also needing to know.
“No, Lightning. I’m going to destroy him.”
“Madness! That’s what this is, madness!”
“Is it really, Sister Storm? Is it?” Bitter Sweet asked from atop the lone table in the great hall. From this position he commanded the attention of the entire room, or at least what attention he could from the turbulent crowd that occupied it at the moment. Raucous murmurs and dozens of arguments filled the air, resonating from the throng of ponies that surrounded Bitter’s perch and filled almost every bit of space in the hall.
“Yeah, that’s exactly what it is. Madness, anarchy, treachery, take your pick, whatever you wanna call it, that’s exactly what you’re proposing!” Storm Spirit shot back from the front of the crowd. The generally laidback mare looked like the equine embodiment of a hurricane and appeared poised to storm Bitter’s stage.
“Storm, c’mon,” Brawny Charger hissed in her ear, “we’re supposed to be keeping things calm, but you’re more fired up than anypony else!” The poor stallion was doing what he could to hold her back, no easy task even for her most prized former pupil.
“Shut up, I know what I’m doing,” she snapped, not taking her eyes off Bitter. “You expect us to believe for one minute that you’re more qualified to lead than Dämons?”
“As things stand, yes,” Bitter answered, his voice raised but steady. “What more proof do you need? This latest setback is but the most recent in a string of spectacular failures that have colored his tenure as the head of our order. He wasted over a year training someone who was unfit for our ranks from the very start, and he couldn’t even see it! Imagine what we could’ve accomplished by now if our leadership had been focused on more important tasks instead of this pet project of his which has now come to nothing. Can we really entrust the future of the Order in the hooves of someone so out of touch with reality, so incapable of determining the best course of action to take? I say nay, we cannot!”
More shouts and commotion broke out in the crowd, drowning out any single voice in the din. Bitter stomped a hoof in agitation and magically amplified his voice in a bid to restore calm.
“Order, order I say, order!” he roared, though only a few paid him any heed. Just as things appeared to be getting out of hoof, the doors to the great hall opened and two figures stepped inside. In an instant, a wave of silence swept over the entire crowd as more and more realized who’d entered.
“Hello, Bitter. My, my, my, what have we here?” The beleaguered Bitter spun around to find none other than Dämons Hengst at the entrance of the great hall alongside Charming Masquerade. The crowd parted as the two approached, all eyes fixed on Dämons. For Bitter’s part, envy and humility upset his sensibilities upon witnessing the immediate effect Dämons’s mere presence had on the crowd that he’d been unable to quiet despite his best efforts. More pressing, however, was the fact that Dämons was there at all.
“Dämons. You’re… back,” Bitter sputtered. As he attempted to adjust to this unexpected development, Dämons calmly leapt atop the table and strode over toward him while Charming made his way to where Storm and Brawny stood. Much to Dämons’s gratification, it appeared that Derpy had indeed done a number on Bitter; he already had a swollen black eye, and his horn had been extensively bandaged.
“Yes, indeed I am. Does that surprise you?” Dämons asked as easily as he would ask how the weather looked outside.
“I just thought… you’ve been gone but two days. Surely your business in Manehattan wasn’t that brief, was it? Or did some unexpected hindrance interfere and force you to turn around? I certainly hope you ran into no trouble, my friend.” Concern dripped from Bitter’s words; nothing more than aural hemlock as far as Dämons was concerned.
“Funny thing, that. I met with our contacts in Manehattan as soon as I arrived in the city, and you know what I learned? They weren’t expecting me at all! In fact, there wasn’t even any need for me to be there. Isn’t that funny?” Dämons chuckled, though that only seemed to make everyone else more unsettled than they already were.
“It was your people who told me I was needed in the first place, Bitter,” Dämons almost casually remarked.
“Sir, I don’t have any ‘people’, we are all at your comma-”
“Oh please, you don’t think I don’t know you have a circle? Of course you do, you’ve been here longer than I have, for crying out loud. Don’t sell yourself short, my friend!”
Again more murmurs broke out in the crowd, anxious eyes glancing Bitter’s way. He tried to ignore them, but it was hard to block out their rising voices. After all, the implications of what Dämons was saying were quite obvious; it didn’t take a genius to figure out that he was insinuating he’d been given a false lead, by his second-in-command no less. Why was an even more interesting question.
“It’s a shame that in this day and age such a silly miscommunication like that would happen, and to me of all ponies, too!” Dämons lamented. “Time is a valuable thing, after all, especially for those with the most responsibilities. Ah, no matter, no use crying over spilled milk; I hear you had an interesting time while I was away, too!”
This wasn’t right. Dämons was talking like a gossiping schoolfilly, and Bitter didn’t like it one bit. He knew he was holding something back, and his gut told him that now was the time to go on the defensive, but no, not this time. This time all bets were off. Now or never, it was time to play every card he had.
“Indeed I did. So, you’ve heard?”
“Yes. Lightning and Charming just filled me in.”
“So, what do you have to say for yourself, old friend?” Bitter spat. “What do you have to say for your ‘star pupil’ who viciously assailed me after I told her the way things are around here? You poured a year of our time and resources into her, and what do we have to show for it? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. And that’s what we’ll have to show for all of our efforts if we continue to follow your lead. You always miss some seemingly small detail in these projects of yours, but those details always end up upending everything you worked for. How can you possibly lead us into the future you’ve promised when your past is littered with so many failures? So many spectacular failures. Sooner or later, you and your failures are going to drag us all down into oblivion, and then, it’ll be too late to fix things. But right now, we have a chance to do just that, to secure our future once and for all.
“So, I ask you again, friend… what do you have to say for yourself?”
You could’ve heard a pin drop in that moment. A petrified stillness rested over the entire assemblage, like they’d all at once transformed into statues. All eyes lay on Dämons, and all manner of expression as well: critical, hopeful, fearful, assured, whatever anypony felt in that room, they now all turned to him for the answers. Would he rise above this now like he had every challenge he’d ever faced, or was this to be the end of the Demon’s stallion?
For his part, Dämons just looked disappointed. He gave Bitter a reprimanding look, like that of a mother who’d caught her colt with his hoof in the cookie jar.
“That your move, Bitter?” he asked.
“It sure is,” Bitter said. Dämons sighed, exasperated, frustrated, and just a touch genuinely sad.
“Enough… enough of this,” he muttered to himself. “Lightning, Fiery, you can come in now.”
The doors to the great hall swung open once more and the two pegasi entered, carrying, much to the assembled crowd’s shock and horror, a unicorn’s corpse. Without saying a word, they flew over to Dämons and Bitter and gingerly laid the body between the two of them before taking their place beside their fellow lieutenants.
Bitter just stared wide-eyed at the body, the rest of his features blank.
“Care to explain that, Bitter?” Dämons asked.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Bitter halfheartedly replied, as though aware that the game was already up. Dämons chuckled, sensing his old friend’s despair, relishing it.
“Yes you do, and you know it. But since you’re not really in the mood, I’ll take it upon myself to explain this… interesting development.” Dämons turned to address the crowd, the moment to deliver his master stroke finally at hoof.
“I’m guessing most of you do not recognize this poor, recently departed fellow you see before you. That’s hardly surprising. You see, he was not one of us. He wasn’t even an ally. No, if anything, he represents everything we stand against. From what I know of him, he was bombastic, arrogant, and could even be quite cruel. He was a nasty little creature who enjoyed abusing the little power he had, and he got away with it too, because his authority was derived from lawful powers. By all accounts, his death should not be worth mourning.
“That said, I’m sure you’re wondering what he’s doing here? Well, you see, there was one capacity that I did know this fellow: as a business acquaintance. He was a prison guard, and in that line of work he proved capable of being swayed by coin to do little favors here and there for me. One of these favors happened to be assisting with Derpy Hooves’ release after her brief incarceration at the Manehattan Correctional Facility about a year ago. From what I gather, he was rather nasty to her during her short stay there, as he was to many prisoners. Still, she was imprisoned but a day or two, so I doubt he scarred her for life in that time.
“Ah, but now you’re wondering what I’m getting at with all this? Well, as you can see, he’s not in Manehattan where he’s supposed to be. No, he’s here, now, in front of you all quite good and dead. So, how did he come to be here in this rather unfortunate state? Well, why don’t you explain that, Bitter?”
Bitter remained silent and stock-still as the corpse in front of him. Undeterred, and somewhat amused by how evidently the fight had gone out of him, Dämons continued.
“No? Are you sure? It’s a good story, and one I’m not sure I can do justice to seeing as I wasn’t there, and you were. But, if you insist, then very well, I’ll tell it instead. My friends, earlier today, before all this insanity broke out, dear Brother Charming noticed Bitter Sweet leading Miss Hooves to the Dark Mile. This was not a planned lesson, not that he was aware of, at least, and as you all know she was, at the time, still under the impression that Bitter was, well, me. Concerned that something was afoot, he followed, from a distance so as not to be detected. As he entered the Dark Mile itself he heard a growing commotion, and grew increasingly alarmed. By the time he did reach Bitter, however, the commotion was over. The excitement, however, was not. Brother Charming, would you care to tell us what you found when you came upon Bitter?”
“Bitter was out cold, and the body was there right beside him.” Charming succinctly answered.
“Interesting! What did you do next?”
“Nothing. Stayed in the shadows, waited to see what he’d do.”
“And what did he do when he finally awoke?”
“Tried to dispose of the body, tossed it and a dagger down a crevice.”
“Huh… that’s interesting. He tossed the body down a crevice. Why would he do that?” Dämons asked the crowd. “Now, I may be wrong, certainly, but I do have a theory that I don’t believe is too much of a stretch, so hear me out. Bitter, here, told you all that Miss Hooves attacked him with no more provocation than his telling her what we do. But he didn’t tell you about this chap. He didn’t mention anything at all about a dead body being there, now, did he? Not only that, but he tried to hide the fact that there was any body at all. Why? Why all this secrecy about a rather important detail from your confrontation with Miss Hooves? Well, I think I know why. I think you didn’t just tell her what we do. I think the real ‘test’ of loyalty you gave her was this guy. Somepony she barely knew, but could technically hold a grudge against given the way he’d treated her. Somepony you could point to as a symbol of all we stand against. You didn’t just tell her that killing was a duty she might have to bear, no; instead, you demanded that she kill him right then and there. And I’m guessing she refused, because otherwise, why would you hide the body? Why wouldn’t you tell us about him? Because you killed him, in front of her very eyes, when she wouldn’t.
“How would you all react to that, my friends? How would you all react to somepony, even a thug like this fellow, being struck down in cold blood right in front of you, no trial, no attempts made to reform him, just a cold, merciless execution? I’m guessing you’d panic. I for one certainly wouldn’t feel comfortable around his executioner, to say the least. But Miss Hooves? She couldn’t have been expecting this. Who would? This isn’t how we induct our members, after all. We may make hard choices in this order, and often be tasked with difficult responsibilities, but nothing we do is this crass, barbaric, or meaningless in nature. So that’s exactly what she did. She flipped out, knocked out Bitter, and fled. Given the circumstances, that’s actually a rather rational response, all things considered.
“But that’s not what Bitter told you happened. He told you he was assailed by an unstable Miss Hooves clearly unprepared to join our order. He told you a lie, a story that he crafted to undermine my authority. Think about that, for a moment, my friends. One of our brothers callously took one life and quite possibly threw away another in the name of his own personal ambition. He called her a traitor, and declared me unfit to lead, when in reality he sullied our most sacred tenets in service to himself. Any that would elevate his own fortunes over the Order’s integrity and wellbeing is unfit to even join our ranks, much less continue to lead. There is no greater treachery. You want to deny my little theory, Bitter, go right ahead. You know we can easily verify it whether or not you admit to it.”
By this point Bitter was fuming, pure hatred resonating from every inch of his body. He glared at Dämons, at the runt with no magic who’d always managed to somehow best him. Over thirty years of resentment was now surfacing at the most inopportune of times, and no matter how hard he tried to contain it, his apparent enmity betrayed the truth to all in the room. There was no point in carrying on with his deception at this point, but that didn’t mean he was about to lie down and admit defeat either.
“I told you before, she wouldn’t have joined us anyway. I told you she was never right for us, but you didn’t listen!” he thundered.
“And I told you that I believed your concern was valid and would keep an eye on it. You may very well have been right, but we’ll never know now, will we? We can’t possibly accept that farce you called a ‘test’ as a legitimate measure of her loyalty, and now, for all we know, she may be dead. At the very least, you’ve poisoned her impressions of us, and even if we manage to find her, she may never trust us again. You knew what you were doing, so don’t pretend that this is about her. She reacted exactly as you wanted her to. No, this is about you and me, because that’s always what it’s been about with you, hasn’t it? It’s never been about Miss Hooves, or the wellbeing of the Order, or the future of Equestria; it’s always been about you and your wounded pride.”
Dämons was starting to lose his composure; it was as though every sentence he spoke only made Bitter’s treachery more real and hateful to him. The crowd had already turned on Bitter; most eyes that were on him cast looks of anger or disgust in his direction. When it came right down to it, they would always trust Dämons before Bitter any time. Still, none made a move, even those biting at the champ like Storm. Whatever was about to happen, it was Dämons’s privilege to make it happen.
“You have no right to suggest –”
“No, let me stop you right there!” Dämons roared, cowing Bitter into silence. “You have no right to defend these actions of yours, you worthless piece of trash! You’re a disgrace to everything we stand for, and you don’t even care! In fact, you’ve spent your entire life fixated on advancing yourself and nothing more, with the pitiful pretext that it was all for the good of the Order. Tell me, how much more blood has been needlessly shed on your behalf in your lifetime, sacrificed on the altar of your ego? Well? Tell me, you pathetic, narcissistic foal, tell me!”
Bitter suddenly felt very small in the face of Dämons’s full fury, a sharp contrast to the borderline arrogance he’d flaunted such a short while ago. It only now occurred to him that he’d crossed a boundary this time and dreadfully overplayed his hand; he’d incurred reprimands from Dämons in the past, but he’d never aroused his wrath like this. The small-to-begin-with window he’d had to wrest control of the Order had closed some time ago; now, he was quickly running out of options to escape the full brunt of Dämons’s impending judgment.
“I… I, uh…,” he stuttered, desperately trying to think of something. Finally, he settled on one last, wild gambit he had up his sleeve, the only one that had even a remote chance of working at this point. “I challenge you to juris ungula. Let fate judge my actions before our peers.”
That caught more than a few in the Order’s ranks off guard; even though the Order still observed many traditions long abandoned by greater Equestrian society, it’d been over a century since a duel to the death had taken place among them. Juris ungula was not something they took lightly; only the direst of disagreements or major matters of honor or justice were to be resolved through the old “justice of the hoof,” affairs upon which the future of the Order might hinge.
For Bitter Sweet to issue such a challenge to Dämons was actually rather ingenious; if anyone had an obligation to observe the Order’s customs and doctrine, no matter how dated it was, it was Dämons. He was their leader, the standard that all in the Order should aspire to in the fulfillment of their duties. Sure, he had considerably more stamina than the elder Bitter, but Bitter would still stand a better chance if he had some time to prepare to face his wrath in a true combat setting. Hay, his magic even gave him some advantages over Dämons. Considering how desperate he was, this was Bitter’s best bet for a way out at the moment.
What he hadn’t considered, however, was that this would just infuriate Dämons even more.
Without another word, Dämons, already mere feet away from Bitter, struck his muzzle with the backside of his hoof. Bitter crumpled under the blow, and Dämons was upon him in an instant.
“You dare?” he bellowed. “You dare try to use our doctrine to protect yourself after trampling all over it? You wretched little worm!”
Again and again and again and again Dämons poured on blow after blow, Bitter completely at his mercy and helpless to stop it.
“You pathetic… wretched… narcissist… bastard… son of a whorse!”
After a while Dämons ceased raining his hooves upon him and simply started slamming his head repeatedly into the hard oak table. The crowd, for its part, just looked on in stunned silence, but unwilling to intervene, some because they felt that Bitter deserved it, most because they were too scared to.
Though Bitter hadn’t even had the chance to put up a fight, Dämons just kept going at it. He didn’t care who saw the full extent of his unhinged anger, or what they thought of it; at this moment, the hate he felt for Bitter for what he’d taken from him all out of petty jealousy, pride, and greed, consumed every fiber of his being. He’d destroyed something precious to Dämons, something he’d put so much time, energy, and love into making. He would pay. Oh yes, he would pay.
I’ll squeeze every foul drop of blood from your worthless carcass if I have to, it still won’t be enough to make up for what you took from me, you –
“Let’s not get carried away now, sir!” someone shouted. Dämons spun around, ceasing his onslaught (at least for the moment), though he made sure to keep Bitter pinned. Behind him stood Lightning Flicker, mild-mannered as always in her bearing, though there was a firm resolve to the look she’d fixed upon Dämons.
“Sister Lightning,” Dämons said in acknowledgement, panting from his furious efforts to end the traitor then and there. “You had something to say?”
“You’ve won sir. There’s no need to continue,” she plainly stated.
“He’s suffered but a fraction of what he deserves, you know that!” Lightning crossed over to him, coming within a hair’s breadth.
“He deserves the worst you could possibly conceive. But not like this, and not here, not now,” she softly whispered in his ear. “Besides, he’s already out cold. Not much of a punishment if he’s not awake for it, right?” Dämons gave a terse grunt, acceding the merit of her words. As much as he really didn’t want to admit it at the moment, she was right. Bitter may have deserved every ounce of fury he could muster right then and there, but killing anypony, even somepony as despicable as him, in front of near the whole damn Order would be extremely counterproductive and demoralizing. It might even do more damage to his reputation than Bitter’s entire ruse could have. Not to mention that she was, in fact, correct on the second point as well; Bitter had indeed passed out at some point during Dämons’s frenzied assault.
Growling through gritted teeth, Dämons skulked away from the unconscious Bitter, struggling mightily to refrain from grinding him into a bloody pulp. “Get this filth out of my sight. Lock him up in our deepest, darkest cell, for the time being.”
Nodding, Lightning beckoned two of her own students. The pair obediently stepped up and dragged the battered Bitter out of the great hall to deposit him in his new quarters. A small bloodstain smeared across the tabletop remained as testament to his savage beating, and only now did Dämons notice a few crimson speckles dotting his own coat. The rest of the hall’s occupants seemed to breathe a collective sigh of relief now that the worst was over. His furor finally simmering down, Dämons refocused his mind and energies on matters closer to his heart. There was still hope yet, however slim it might be.
“Lightning, Fiery, take our best fliers and conduct a thorough search and rescue operation in the immediate vicinity around the far end of the Dark Mile. Check every nook and cranny you can find, leave no stone unturned.
“Storm and Brawny, you’ll lead another contingent to the base of the mountains. Be discrete, but search any nearby rivers and streams; if Miss Hooves somehow made it out of the mountains, she probably followed one of them out. Charming, get yourself to Manehattan ASAP; don’t bother taking a contingent, I know you’ll move faster and act more effectively on your own. Check in with all our contacts to see if Miss Hooves made her way there or passed through. She might yet be alive, so get to it; let’s find her and make things right!”
Dismissed, everypony scattered, some joining up with the search and rescue parties, others going about their usual business, trying to restore some semblance of order and normalcy after Bitter’s attempted coup. Dämons himself dragged his sore hooves back to his cell; he wanted to assist with the search, but after traveling to Manehattan and back again in the span of two days, not to mention defusing a plot to remove him from power, he was thoroughly exhausted. He knew he’d be of no use in this condition to a search party, especially any trying to tackle the rough, local terrain. Slumping in the chair behind his desk, Dämons bowed his head and quickly drifted off into an anxious slumber, praying all the while that he’d hear some, any sort of news soon.
At the very least, we might find her body, if we’re even that lucky. Stars on high, I hope we are.
“Hey… hey, wake up.” The soft touch of a hoof fell upon Dämons’s withers, gently prodding him awake.
“Mmmm… not now, Nafee,” he murmured, still half asleep. “That does feel nice, though. You can keep rubbing that spot all you want.” The prodding continued, more forceful this time, and eventually Dämons reluctantly cracked his eyes open to find Lightning looking down at him.
“I’m sorry. You were having a nice dream, weren’t you?” she said, her eyes at once both apologetic and sympathetic.
Dämons shook his head. “No, no, it’s fine. Just a… another sad memory, is all,” he replied, forcing an unconvincing smile. Before Lightning could say any more on the matter, he quickly changed the subject. “Find anything?” Judging by how downcast she looked, Dämons thought he already had a good idea what her answer would be, but he needed to know for sure all the same.
“We’ve searched high and low through the night. Fiery and the other fliers are still looking, hoping daylight might reveal something we might’ve missed, but as of now, we’ve found nothing.”
“What about Storm and Brawny?” Dämons asked.
“I checked in with them before I came to see you. Same deal. Not so much as a trace she was in the area. Of course, there’s no telling how far she got before we even sent these search parties out, so for all we know she could be long gone by now. Or…”
Dämons raised a hoof before Lightning could finish that thought out loud. “We won’t hear from Charming at least until evening,” he remarked. “Even if she made it, though, I’m not optimistic that he’ll find anything useful. She’s smart and, right now, scared; she’s got to know that Manehattan would be one of the first places we’d look for her.”
“Where would she go, then?” Lightning wondered.
“Home, I assume, and if she does, well… that complicates things. There’s no telling what she might do on her own now that her true potential’s been tapped. If we find her before she leaves the region, we might be able to explain all this away, fix things, make her understand. But… if she goes back to Ponyville, approaching her will be much more difficult. Following her all the way back to her hometown so soon after an event as traumatic as this would look awfully suspicious to her. So if she makes her way home, we’ll just have to watch and wait, see what she does first before making any kind of move."
“Don’t worry about that right now. It is the least likely scenario, at the moment, after all,” Lightning sadly admitted, but Dämons only scowled at the thought of what she was implying.
“Don’t underestimate her. She’s tougher than she looks. Until we find her, dead or alive, we can’t possibly rule anything out.” He was silent for a few moments after that, just staring off into space as he tried to accept just how unknowable Derpy’s future now was as it stood. Dämons hated it, accepting that he couldn’t possibly predict for sure what fate had in store for her, if anything at all, but he knew the alternative was driving himself insane if he tried to consider every possible variable or path she might take. He decided to switch topics before he thought himself to death pondering this over.
“Is our traitor awake yet?” he asked with distaste.
“I believe so, yes. He’s thoroughly secured, and we’ve placed a magic nullifier around his horn. From what I gathered from the guards, he’s not really saying much right now, mostly just groans.” Dämons grunted in recognition, though he seemed distracted by some other thought. Lightning had a hunch what it was. “If you’d like, sir, I’m sure we could arrange a proper execution within the week. No one would try to stop you, I promise you that; his guilt is apparent to all.”
Dämons scowled at that suggestion. “It’s still better than what he deserves,” he declared. An uncomfortable silence fell between the two, until Dämons suddenly perked up, a vicious grin spreading across his face. “You know… the doctor is always looking for patients,” he remarked, drawing a shocked look from Lightning.
“Sir, even after what he’s done, that seems a bit… excessive, don’t you think?” she asked.
“Not at all. In fact, I think they deserve each other, don’t you?” A grim chuckle escaped his lips, which Lightning found almost as disconcerting as what he was proposing. Her unease did not escape Dämons’s notice, and he quickly assumed a more sober disposition. “Don’t worry, my dear, I’ll make the proper arrangements. It’s a nasty business, to be sure, and not one I’d want to ask you to do. Forgive me if I gave you the impression that I’m going to enjoy this. I’d be lying if I said I don’t want to, but… more than anything I just need to do this. It’ll give me at least some small semblance of closure after what he’s done.”
Lightning nodded understandingly, and the disquietude she’d felt quickly turned into pity instead. In place of the fierce disposition he’d put on but a moment ago, Dämons now looked ashamed. He breathed a world-weary sigh, bending over his desk and laying his head on his steepled hooves. His shoulders sagged like the weight of the world was upon them, and the creases on his forehead stood out like a canyon’s contours carved deep into the earth.
Lightning had the unsettling realization that this was the first time she’d ever really seen her friend and mentor as old. She knew he was getting up there in years, but there’d always been a spirited energy in his actions, present since the day she’d first met him when he was still a young and proud stallion. That energy had matured over the years into a dignified but still intensely powerful vigor, but it had remained a part of who Dämons was all the same. In this moment, though, he looked old and grey, like he was just tired, tired from a lifetime of tragedies, hardships, setbacks and misfortunes, one after another, always, always, a ceaseless cycle that never failed to repeat itself.
Pained by his grieved figure, Lightning gently enfolded him in a soft embrace, clasping a hoof around his withers and resting her forehead on his. Beneath her gentle touch, Dämons abandoned any pretense of fortitude and began shaking, unbridled sobs emanating from him. He gripped her forehoof with his own and leaned into her embrace in a rare moment of vulnerability, a lifetime’s worth of grief suddenly manifesting itself all at once.
“Do you know why he hurt me so?” he asked, not waiting for a response. “It’s because he killed something so beautiful. It doesn’t matter whether she’s dead or alive, everything’s changed. No matter what happens, I’ll never really know now if I could’ve won her heart for our cause. The greatest student I’ve ever trained, and I don’t even get to see her reach her full potential. None of us do.”
Lightning kept rubbing his withers gently, trying to soothe his broken spirit.
“I was happy, Lightning. Do you know that? I was happy. I hadn’t felt like that in years, but she filled a hole in my heart that I hadn’t thought could ever be filled again. So full of life, and promise, and hope! I couldn’t have been prouder of what she was becoming, and to have a part in producing it, to say ‘I helped make that’! Best thing I’ve done in years.
“Sweet child… such a sweet child. You know, I could’ve won the world with a mare like that at my side. Just knowing the future was secure, that after I’m gone the Order would be left in good hooves, made it all worthwhile, nay, a joy, even, to undertake. It was like things were going the way they were always meant to be, back before everything went so very wrong. She might not have been my blood, but she was as close to my… my Aya… ah, it doesn’t matter now. The past has simply repeated itself in cruel fashion yet again. After the life I’ve lived, that should come as no surprise; you’d think I’d be used to fate’s cruel barbs by now, but no, it keeps finding new ways to hurt me. Remarkable, don’t you think?”
Still bent over his desk, Dämons glared at one of the dozens of papers that littered its surface: a map of Equestria.
“I can’t bring them back, those we’ve lost. I can’t bring any of them back, but I can honor their memory. That’s all any of us can do now. Build a new world, a better world; that’s the only monument that can pay proper respect to all we’ve lost, to all the forgotten have suffered.”
He considered the map for some time more in thoughtful silence, his steely eyes fixated upon a single point as though he were trying to bore holes through it.
“Yes, the world is a cruel place,” he mused. “But cruelty begets cruelty, and I think it will find that I can be very, very cruel indeed. Nothing less will tear its diseased institutions down, uproot its rotten foundations. That’s all I have left now, all I can devote every fiber of my being towards. Then – only then – can we have paradise… for all.”
Darkness. On every side, all she was aware of was a vast darkness, an inky black void that seemed to permeate all the space around her. She seemed to be floating in this suffocating blackness, unable to move, see, hear, or touch anything. Her body simply occupied this empty limbo, neither truly awake nor completely dormant.
All she could think of was how much she wanted to leave, to just move on to something, anything other than this nothingness. As her mind became fixated more and more on this need to leave this place, she seemed to fall deeper into the darkness. She didn’t care, in fact, she accepted it, embraced it; she was going somewhere, and anywhere else had to be better than here. The darkness could not last forever; eventually she’d reach the end of it, and it didn’t matter what came next, so long as it was no longer the darkness.
“Wake up.”
Like a thunderclap, a simple, mild whisper pierced the muted darkness. She continued to fall, but her descent slowed ever so slightly.
“Wake up, child. Wake up.”
Like the rhythmic beat of a drum, the simple command repeated itself over and over again, resounding through all the darkness. Still no more than a whisper, nonetheless it crashed upon her senses repeatedly like the ocean’s waves on the shore, and soon she came to a complete stop in her fall. Far above, her half-lidded eyes could just make out something penetrating the darkness; a faint light, no more than a drop in the infinite black, but she was transfixed by it.
“Rise, Derpy Hooves. It is not yet your time to relinquish this mortal coil. You still have yet a part to play in this world.”
She still couldn’t move or speak, but she was far more alert now with this voice ringing in her ears. The words poured over her like a cascading waterfall and seemed to drive back the darkness. She wanted to draw nearer to their source, whoever or whatever was producing these compelling tones, and soon, despite still having no control over her faculties, her body began ascending towards that infinitesimally small point of light where the words seemed to be resonating from, fuelled, it seemed, by her will alone. As she rose, the light grew, and her ascent seemed to quicken in its pace. Faster and faster, higher and higher, brighter and brighter, the beckoning call still coming, until eventually she could just make out a dark silhouette near the source of the light.
“That’s it, child. Wake up. Your work is just beginning.”
At the edge of her still hazy vision, great white feathers came into view. When she drew close enough, they began to enfold her entire body in a soft embrace, like a mother cradling her foal.
“No matter how rough the road may ever seem, how hard the paths you take, do not ever give up, do not ever stop hoping. Hope will be your bulwark against the darkness, the dangers, the perils and travails you will face.”
The light was almost blinding now. No more a mere speck, it practically filled the entire space at this point, drowning out the darkness and growing brighter by the second. The huge wings enfolding her led back to its source, the silhouette she’d seen before, now plainly a radiant figure with a resplendent coat as white as the full moon’s luminous glow. An immense horn, the greatest she’d ever seen, extended from the figure’s forehead, and appeared to project the blinding beams of light pushing back the darkness. In its dazzling splendor, she was unable to make out her savior’s face, but at that moment the celestial being began tilting her head forward, bending it towards the tiny mare before her. As she drew closer, two eyes as blue as a cloudless sky came into view, and a cascading crimson mane could be seen pouring over her shoulders. Beyond that, she couldn’t see much else, so great was the light’s intensity.
“Heed these words, little one; they will serve you well. Now then, it’s time to wake up.”
Inclining her head even further, the entity gently touched the very tip of her immeasurable horn upon the uplifted pegasus’s forehead. The light coming from it now finally engulfed her, absorbing and flowing through every fiber of her being. Any remaining shred of darkness dissolved once and for all, and suddenly a shot of energy rushed through her body like a bolt of lightning.
Next thing Derpy knew, she was convulsing violently on the edge of a riverbank, coughing up water as her whole body spasmed awake. High-pitched shrieks pealed through the air all around her.
“Oh horse apples, run!”
“Zombie pony, ahhhhhhh!”
Every inch of her body shook as she came to, inhaling as much air as she could as quickly as possible (an action rendered difficult by the armor still fastened to her body). Her coat was damp and matted with mud and grass, and even as she gained her bearings she still shivered like a lonely leaf in the wind. Still taking rapid, shallow breaths, Derpy lifted herself up from where she lay on the muddy bank and leaned on an elbow, trying to take stock of things.
OK… think Derpy, think… last thing I remember I was flying before I crashed into something wet and cold (I think it’s a safe bet that’d be the river right behind me). Not sure if it was exhaustion or if I just made a bad maneuver midflight, but I guess that’s a moot point now. Must’ve passed out and washed up at some point here… wherever ‘here’ is.
Taking a look at her surroundings, Derpy saw that the bank she’d washed up on was directly adjacent to a cornfield. In the distance, more rows of corn, along with lush fields growing wheat and an assortment of other crops, could be seen. Atop a hill overlooking all this surrounding vegetation stood a thatched farmhouse, bright red barn, and a granary.
I can’t have gone that far, so must be pretty close to the mountains still. Not sure what the hay I saw exactly right before I came to, but I’m certain I definitely heard somepony just now. Where did they get off to, I wonder?
Her ears perked up at the sound of rustling off to her right and she scanned the cornfield. Near the base of a clump of cornstalks she spotted a pair of diminutive tails and smirked.
Kids, huh? Well, don’t wanna spook ‘em; I’m sure my half-dead appearance and sudden revival did that enough already.
Casually as she could manage, Derpy rose to her hooves while trying to appear as unthreatening as possible (which wasn’t exactly difficult given how battered and exhausted her body felt). “Whoever’s out there, I don’t mean you any harm,” she called out. “I’m just lost and trying to find my way home. Any help you could offer at all would be greatly appreciated.”
For a few moments, nothing happened, and Derpy grew worried that the children had skedaddled. A few imperceptible whispers filtered out from the mass of greenery, however, and shortly thereafter a filly and colt emerged from the cornfield. They were both earth ponies, and the taller colt appeared to be older than the filly. Cautiously they approached the strange pegasus who’d washed up near their fields, the colt making a point to stay in front of the filly.
“Who are you?” the colt bluntly asked.
“Nopony important, just a visitor passing through, that’s all,” Derpy assured him. She hated dodging a question like that, especially considering how sketchy that non-answer sounded, but it was really for their own good that they not know who she was. “As I’m sure you can see, I had a bit of a run-in with some misfortune, and I’m just trying to get back on my hooves right now, that’s all. I’ll be out of your mane as fast as I can, but first, I need your help.”
The foals were quiet after that, neither of them saying a word and still keeping their distance. For a moment Derpy was afraid she’d blown it, until the filly piped up, poking her head out from behind the colt.
“So… you’re not a zombie pony?” she asked.
Derpy couldn’t help but chuckle at that. “Nah, I’m not a zombie pony,” she replied. “I’m a mess, that’s for sure, but I’m no zombie. Just a very lost pony, little one, that’s all.”
The filly stepped up beside the colt and looked up at him with wide eyes. “She doesn’t seem so bad, Bean,” she remarked with an innocent expression on her face.
“That’s how strangers trick ya, sis. They’re real good at pretending all sorts of things,” Bean retorted.
“But Bean!”
“Shut up, Sprout! Hey wait a minute, what are you – hey, where are you going?” Bean shouted after Derpy as she started walking away from the two bickering siblings.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to disturb you. I’ll just be on my way if I’m just gonna be too much trouble for ya; I certainly wouldn’t want to get you into any trouble with your parents, and I’m sure they wouldn’t want you talking to any strangers.” She continued on her way, though her steps were heavy and listless.
“Ah crabapples… wait!” Bean called out. Derpy stopped in her tracks, internally pleased with herself that her improvised ploy had worked. The two siblings caught up to her, drawing a little closer this time. “What do ya want to know?”
“Well, where am I for starters?”
“That’s easy, our farm!” Sprout proudly answered, thrilled to beat her brother to the punch.
“Yes, I can see that, and it’s a mighty nice farm from the looks of things,” Derpy complimented. “Do you know how far Manehattan is?”
“About half a day’s walk south from here,” Bean said. “If you stay along this stream, you’ll eventually come to the Noord; follow that south until it empties out into Manehattan Bay, and the city’s right there.”
Derpy nodded appreciatively. “Great, thanks kids, that’s all I needed to know. Well, best be on my way.”
“Wait! Don’t you wanna rest or anything? You can spend the night at our place if ya want.” Sprout suggested, Bean nodding in agreement.
“Yeah, I’m sure mom and pop wouldn’t mind. I mean, we kinda thought you were dead when we found ya. Still kinda look like a drowned rat, actually… no offense.”
Derpy shook her head. “Nah, it’s cool. And I appreciate the offer, really, but I just have to go now. In fact, if you could just not tell your parents at all about our little run-in, that’d be great. I’m not holding you to it or anything, but still, I’d be much obliged if you could keep this to yourselves.”
“Sure… yeah, we can do that,” Bean promised.
“We’re really good at keeping secrets!” Sprout assured her.
“Thanks guys.” Derpy turned again to leave, but she’d only gone a couple steps when Bean spoke up again.
“Wait, before you go, one more thing!” he called to her. Dashing over to the cornstalks where they’d been hiding earlier, Bean retrieved a small knapsack and hurried with it back over to Derpy and his sister. “Here. It’s not much, but you look like you need it more than I do.” He pulled out a small sandwich wrapped in wax paper and proffered it to her. Reluctantly Derpy accepted it, but only because she just then realized how famished she really was. Not wanting to make a scene devouring it right in front of them, she tucked it into her armor for safekeeping.
“Thank you, both of you. You’ve been a great help, really, and I won’t forget it. Take care of yourselves, now.”
“Where are ya going?” Sprout asked.
“I told you before, I’m going home.” Derpy waved goodbye and left the two foals, following the stream just as Bean had told her. The road ahead wasn’t going to be easy, but despite how beaten, bruised, and worn her body was, Derpy felt energized, determination coursing through her veins. The future was still uncertain, but it was hers to make, hers to define. She was heartbroken and devastated that the Order wasn’t going to be a part of that future, and still reeling from the violent severing of ties she’d just experienced with them. There were still lots of good ponies there, like Aucune and Lightning, ponies who'd helped change her life immeasurably. She wished them nothing but the best after all they’d done for her, but as long as somepony like Dämons Hengst was in charge there, she’d have nothing to do with them. She’d give her gifts to the world her way, the right way, and she knew exactly where she was going to start.
Carrot Top awoke with a start. Lying stock-still under the covers of her bed, she didn’t so much as move a muscle, her breath caught in her chest. For a split second, she prayed she was just imagining things, or maybe waking from a particularly vivid nightmare. A moment’s concentration, however, confirmed that this was more than her imagination. There was no mistaking it: someone – or something – was downstairs.
Her heart thumped in her chest faster than a train’s pistons going full-speed, and she almost started hyperventilating. However, despite her initial bout of panic, Carrot quickly got a grip of herself. She was still scared out of her wits, but she wasn’t about to just stay in bed and do nothing while some stranger ransacked her place; her mom and pop hadn’t raised no pushover, after all. Trying her best not to make a sound, Carrot slowly crept out from beneath her covers and lowered herself to the floor. Rummaging beneath her bed, she emerged with a wooden bat which she kept for just this sort of situation.
OK, mister burglar, let’s see how you like this.
Tiptoeing out of her room, Carrot carefully inched her way down the stairs one step at a time. She’d worried about something like this happening for a while now, the way things had been around town lately. Now that it was happening, though, it still didn’t seem real. How could this happen to her, of all ponies? She wasn’t very wealthy, and she certainly didn’t do anything to flaunt the little money she did have. Then again, maybe whoever was burgling her figured that some no-name earth pony who lived by herself in a rented cottage was a lot easier of a target than some of the wealthier ponies in town.
Reaching the bottom of the stairs, Carrot scanned the living room, eyes peeled for any sign of trouble. Even in the darkness she could tell that, oddly enough, there were no signs of a break-in. The front door was shut, and none of her windows had been broken either.
Weird… maybe he came in the back.
Carrot almost jumped with fright when a noise came from down the hall, and realized that the intruder was in her kitchen. She wondered if perhaps it was some homeless pony just looking for a meal, but she knew that even if it was, that didn’t necessarily mean they weren’t dangerous. Taking a deep breath, Carrot crept as stealthily as she could. When she came to the kitchen, she could just make out in the dark a figure rummaging through her icebox. Flipping the kitchen light switch, Carrot raised herself on her hind legs, both forehooves gripped tightly around the bat, ready for anything. At least, so she thought.
“Alright buster, don’t do anything stupid now, just turn around nice and easy– wait, Derpy?” she stammered in disbelief upon spotting an all-too familiar cutie mark. Turning around to greet her, Derpy gave her a friendly wave.
“Hey Carrot, long time no see!” she said. Carrot just stared back at her, her mouth hanging open wider than a dragon’s gaping maw. The pegasus before her was filthy, covered in all sorts of dirt and muck, and on top of that was wearing some kind of strange black armor Carrot had never seen before, but it was Derpy all the same. Derpy, her old friend and housemate. Derpy, who’d disappeared more than a year ago without a trace. That Derpy, the one and only Derpy Hooves, was now standing here in her kitchen munching on some bread and cheese like she’d never even left.
“Uh Carrot, you don’t look so good,” Derpy remarked. “You wanna maybe sit down? I could fix you a snack, if you want. This cheese you got here’s pretty good, what is it?”
Carrot just remained perfectly still, eyes wide as melons and the same jaw-dropping expression fixed on her face, but finally managed to mouth, “It’s… Baltimare blue.” It was at that moment that she keeled over.
“Oh horsefeathers,” Derpy uttered.
Carrot Top’s face scrunched up as she felt something cold and wet on her forehead. Coming to, she opened her eyes to find two yellow irises directly overhead staring right back at her. She was still trying to recall what she was doing on the floor of her kitchen when a voice spoke up.
“Hey. Uh… sorry about that. Guess I should’ve known this would come as a shock to you, seeing me again and all. You OK?”
“Yeah, I’m alright,” she said automatically. She still felt pretty lightheaded, so she gave herself a moment to get her bearings before trying to get up. Rubbing her temple, Carrot felt a damp cloth placed there, evidently the source of the wet sensation she’d felt before.
That was awfully nice of Derpy to get that for me. Wait… ohhhhh, right, that’s how I got on the floor.
Looking her in the eye, Carrot’s eyes widened once more and she took a sharp breath. When she started inhaling and exhaling rapidly, Derpy realized Carrot was on the verge of panicking once more, though this time she might be a little louder about it if she didn’t do something fast to prevent that. Thinking fast, she backed up a bit to give Carrot some space and hopefully put her mind at ease a little.
“OK, you’ve got questions. Lots of questions I imagine, but hey, I don’t blame you one bit, I’d be the exact same way I’m sure if I were you. Before we do anything else, I just need you to calm down and listen, hear me out. Can you do that?” Carrot’s breathing seemed to slow down a touch, and she gave a quick nod. For now, that was good enough for Derpy. “Alright, awesome. That wasn’t so hard. Now, I’m gonna answer whatever questions you need to ask to put your mind at ease, OK? So fire away, I ain’t gonna hide anything, not from you. You’re my friend Carrot, and the first pony in town I’ve seen since I got back, so I owe you that much.”
For a while, neither said a word, but just stayed where they were staring at one another. Derpy was trying her best to appear relaxed and at ease, as unthreatening as possible, but she knew given her present garb and travel-worn appearance that that was no easy task. Carrot was still eyeing her with a watchful expression when she suddenly beckoned her over with a wave of her hoof. Hoping that was a good sign, Derpy gingerly approached.
When she was close enough, the still-wary Carrot raised a tentative forehoof toward her, carefully prodding it into one of Derpy’s cheeks as though she were examining a piece of fruit to see how ripe it felt. At first Derpy recoiled slightly at the unexpected motion, but swiftly relaxed and let Carrot carry on if it meant gaining her trust. Carrot continued to explore her features, running her hoof over Derpy’s face and through her disheveled mane, and slowly but surely appeared to calm down.
“So… you- you’re real? I’m not just imagining all this?” she asked, her voice still a tad shaky.
“Yep, real as you are,” Derpy affirmed, grinning. Carrot smiled slightly in return, but a moment later that smile was replaced with a frown.
“Could you, uh… could you maybe go over there?” she requested, pointing to the kitchen table. Derpy nodded, unsure where Carrot was going with this, but not wanting to lose what little trust she’d managed to regain. Trotting over, she pulled out a chair and took a seat, glad to give her aching hooves a rest.
Carrot herself finally managed to get up from the floor and, though still looking somewhat discomfited, seemed to be holding steady for the most part. She did not, however, take a seat, and Derpy also noticed that she seemed poised as though ready to bolt any second now. Fixing her eyes on the floor, Carrot bit her lower lip, clearly troubled about something. With each passing minute she only seemed to struggle even more with finding the right words to say, but finally broke the awkward stillness that’d risen like a wall between the two.
“So… this is going to sound weird, but… you’re ‘you,’ right? I mean, really you?” Derpy blinked, unsure how to respond to that, or what exactly Carrot was expecting her to say in response.
“Uhhh… yeah, I’m me. Pretty sure I am, at least,” she replied, chuckling. Carrot, however, wasn’t laughing, and stared hard at Derpy, clearly unsatisfied with that answer. “Sorry Carrot, I don’t know what you want me to say. I’m not even really sure what you’re getting at.”
“No, I guess you wouldn’t, but… horse apples, it’s not like I can just come out and say it!” For another moment that seemed to drag on far longer than it did, Carrot searched and searched for something, anything else she could say. Finally, however, it became clear that there was only one thing left to say, and unfortunately it was the last thing she wanted to ask. Pinning her ears and swishing her tail in agitation, Carrot took a gulp of air to calm her nerves before churning ahead. “Oh buck it, guess there’s no beating around the bush, is there? Fine, I’ll be blunt: are you a changeling?”
Derpy almost fell out of her seat at that. “What? No, of course not!”
“Well you wouldn’t exactly tell me if you were a changeling, now, would you!” her friend retorted.
“Come on Carrot, you can’t possibly think I’m a changeling. How could you even think that?”
“How could I not?!” Carrot shot back, her voice still shaky but considerably steadier than it had been before. “I mean, think about it; you’ve been missing for over a year, nopony’s had the faintest idea where you’ve been, and now you show up out of the blue (in the middle of the night, no less) as though it were nothing, looking half-dead and wearing Celestia only knows what! So come on… you, whoever you are, help me out here; if you’re really who you say you are, give me a reason to take you at your word. Otherwise… well, I’ll just assume the worst.”
Derpy rubbed her temple, tired and irked, but she couldn’t really blame Carrot for her suspicions after hearing her reasoning behind them. She figured ponies would have noticed she was missing, but she hadn’t considered until now that anypony might be wary of her showing back up. The more she thought about it, though, the more it made sense; she hadn’t been around town long after the changeling attack in Canterlot the previous year, but from what she remembered before she’d left, everypony had been on edge, to say the least.
Suddenly, anypony could be a changeling for all anyone else knew, and that had made Ponyville’s residents scared out of their wits. In order to address these admittedly legitimate concerns, as well as alleviate everypony’s fears, new security policies had been implemented, and an entire company of Royal Guard had even been transferred to Ponyville. Granted, that last provision might have had something to do with the fact that the keepers of the Elements of Harmony themselves happened to all live in town, but all the same, nopony could ignore the fact that considerable precautions and security measures had been put in place as a result of the shocking assault on Canterlot and the fear it had engendered nationwide in the entire populace.
Derpy thought that after more than a year fears must’ve died down to some extent by now, and had no idea how many of those new security measures were still being practiced, but evidently changelings were still on at least some ponies’ minds. Given the circumstances, however, Carrot’s unease was especially justified, and Derpy knew it; if any pony could possibly be suspected of being a changeling, it’d most definitely be one who’d just turned up after missing for over a year. It certainly didn’t help that Derpy looked as outlandish as she currently did either. In fact, just about everything about her sudden reappearance smelled rotten at first glance, and she couldn’t very well have that. The whole town delving deeply into her mind-boggling experiences in the past year was the last thing she needed, so right now, she had to come up with an out that wouldn’t lead anypony back to the Order.
“OK, how’s this? When you were a teenager, you once spent a whole year eating nothing but apples in a show of ‘rebellion’ to your parents: by the end, you were so sick of them that you haven’t been able to touch apples ever since. Your first crush was on a unicorn stallion, and to this day you harbor a hidden predilection for unicorns and what you call their ‘horn-y talents in the bedroom.’ And finally, the pièce de résistance; your legal name for the first six months of your life was ‘Golden Harvest.’ Your parents only changed it to Carrot Top after your grandma threatened to disown your father if they didn’t change your name to something with the word ‘carrot’ in it. There, that prove I’m me?”
Derpy smirked and Carrot’s goldenrod face noticeably reddened after hearing her list off one secret of hers after another, each one more confidential than the last. She knew that Derpy alone was the only pony who knew all three of those embarrassing tidbits about her, so that right there was a fairly convincing bit of evidence. After getting over her initial embarrassment, however, a new thought occurred to her.
“You just might be who you say you are, but… you also could have gotten all of that from Derpy if you were a changeling and holding her prisoner,” she noted. “And then there’s your eyes; how do you explain that? As long as I’ve known yo– Derpy, her eyes have always been cross-eyed.”
Horsefeathers, she’s really covering her corners, isn’t she?
“C’mon Carrot, it’s me, you’ve got to believe that! I know that’s a lot to ask for, given the circumstances, and I know how this might look, but you’ve just got to believe that it’s really me. What do I have to do to prove that to you? Please, tell me,” Derpy pleaded.
Without missing a beat, Carrot answered, “Tell me where you’ve been.”
“Huh?”
“Where have you been for the past year?” she firmly clarified. Derpy bowed her head and closed her eyes. She’d been afraid this is where their conversation would go. She’d also told Carrot that she wouldn’t hold anything back from her, and she’d meant it; Carrot had been her housemate and best friend for years, and she was willing to do whatever it took to regain her trust. She had to, needed to; she needed at least one confidant around town who knew everything, and who better than her best friend. If earning her trust meant sharing everything with her, every last bit of it, then so be it. This was going to be one tough cookie to sell, though, and she knew it.
She’ll believe it. She knows me, and if I tell it right, tell it all and explain everything, she’ll understand. Gotta have faith she will. Friends are supposed to be there for ya when no one else is, right? Well, she’ll be there for me, I know it. She’ll believe it, no matter how unfeatheringbelievable it may sound, because she knows me, and she’ll know… she’ll know, after hearing it all, that it’s really me.
Or, maybe she’ll think I’m nuttier than Pinkie Pie’s Pecan Pie Surprise. But hey, no risk, no reward, right? Here goes nothing.
Taking a deep breath, Derpy sat up straight in her seat, looking Carrot square in the eye. It was now or never. “Alright, you win. I’ll tell you everything. But before I start, I need you to understand something; it’s a long, crazy story. Like, really crazy. We’re talking ‘more of a stretch than a lord of chaos turning our town literally upside down’ crazy. So… yeah, this is gonna be a bit of a hard sell. I just need you to hear me out, listen to everything I’ve got to say, and then make of it what you will. If you still have questions, or doubts, I won’t blame you. But please just listen to what I have to say. Will you do that for me?”
Carrot Top scrutinized the mare in front of her with stony eyes, trying her best to discern the slightest hint of a deceptive undertone in her words or bearing. For a moment, Derpy feared she just might make a run for it, but finally, albeit with apparent reluctance, Carrot nodded.
“OK,” she said, “talk. I can’t promise I’ll believe you, but I’ll listen to what you have to say.”
Derpy flashed a grateful smile. “Thanks Carrot. Alright, where to start? Remember that delivery I had to make to Manehattan last year right around the time I disappeared? Well… you might say things went a bit south….”
“When I came to I’d washed up on a riverbank north of Manehattan. That was just over a week ago. Made my way from there to the city’s freight yard and been train hopping my way home ever since. Hasn’t been easy, that’s for sure; didn’t want anyone asking questions about my getup for fairly obvious reasons, so I had to go to some pretty great lengths to stay out of sight the whole way back. Only traveled the rails at night, snuck food from the galleys when I could, and had to keep switching cars to avoid being discovered. Just got back tonight and came straight home. Got in with the spare key we kept in that fake rock out back by your carrot patch, and thought I’d grab something to eat before waking you, but, well, you kinda beat me to that, and now here we are. That’s… basically it, really.”
Just like that, it was over. True to her word, Derpy had told Carrot everything that’d happened, from her greatest milestones to the foulest events of the past year. She’d expected numerous times during her recounting that Carrot would suddenly interject with some question, or just up and leave even, but much to her surprise she’d kept quiet the entire time. In fact, the earth pony had managed to remain peculiarly unreadable, keeping a calm, neutral expression on her face from start to finish. Hopefully the fact that she was still apparently giving Derpy the benefit of the doubt was a good sign.
The two sat in total silence for a few minutes, the only sound the steady ticking of an antique cuckoo clock that hung on the kitchen wall, a family heirloom of Carrot’s. Derpy gave it a sideways glance as the tiny wooden cuckoo bird popped out of its little door and produced its melodic cuckoo call.
Sheesh, 5 a.m. already? Didn’t realize I was talking so long. Sure hope she doesn’t have too many questions still, ‘cause laying down for a nice, long nap sounds mighty fine right about now.
Finally, Carrot (much to Derpy’s relief) spoke. “You… you really did all that, didn’t you?”
“Ummm… yeah,” Derpy replied, stunned at Carrot’s words. “Wait, wait, wait, you believe me? You’re able to accept everything I just told you after one telling just like that?” Much to her surprise and disbelief, Carrot simply gave an easy nod in response, even laughing quietly to herself as though she herself were surprised.
“I know, crazy right? In fact, every logical bone in my body is telling me that there’s no reason I should believe one word of this. But I’m from a family of farmers, Derpy, we haggle. My brothers and I had to learn very early on how to sniff out dishonesty in any pony lest those we bargained with tried cheating us. I can spot a lie quicker than a jackrabbit lands a summer date. That was no lie.” Derpy was worried she might be trying to pull her leg, but for the first time since they’d reunited, Carrot actually looked comfortable and at ease. “Besides, the more you talked, the more I just… well, the more I knew it was you. You think I’d forget all about you in one measly year, you crazy featherbrain? Nopony could forget you, especially not after living with you as long as I have.”
They both laughed at that, and finally the invisible barrier that’d hung in the air between the two all night dissipated, replaced by the true cheer of two long-lost friends sharing each other’s company. “Thanks Carrot, just… wow, thanks, you have no idea how relieved I am to hear that. If there was anypony I knew I could count on believing me, it’s you.”
“So… what now?” Carrot asked, evoking a snort from Derpy in response.
“Yeah, what now, that is a good question,” she said. “Honestly, I have no idea. I mean, there’s gotta be something I can do with what I’ve learned, right? But what that something is, well, I haven’t really worked that out yet.” She shrugged, sagging in her chair, her weary senses screaming at her not to trouble her mind with such thoughts at the moment. Carrot too noticed her friend’s exhausted state and quickly fetched her a glass of cool water, which Derpy gratefully accepted.
“We can worry about that later. Right now, we need to figure out how to break the news of your return. It’s hard enough for me to accept all this, and I know you like a sister. The rest of the town, they’re going to have a hard time swallowing all this.” Gulping down the last of her drink, Derpy emphatically shook her head upon hearing that proposition.
“Actually… well, I was sorta thinking we… not tell them everything,” she carefully suggested. Carrot raised a puzzled eyebrow at that.
“Well then what would we tell them?” she asked.
“I don’t know, but not that,” Derpy replied.
“Derpy, we can’t just lie to the whole town! What, you expect us both to somehow keep up some sort of intricate charade around everypony we know for the rest of our lives?” she asked with incredulity, prompting Derpy to wave a placating hoof.
“Listen, just calm down. I don’t like the idea of lying any more than you do, but do you actually think everypony knowing where I’ve been is the answer? Most would probably think I’m just crazy, but those who didn’t, who knows what they’d do? Trust me, the less ponies know where I’ve been, the better. It’ll just be easier for all of us; fewer questions for me to answer, and a far easier time for everyone else accepting that I’m back, same old, same old.”
Carrot grimaced, uncertainty clouding her features, though she appeared less alarmed than she had a moment ago. “OK, sure, I can see what you’re saying. Probably would cause us more problems than solutions just going around town telling this to everypony. But I’m not so sure about ‘same old, same old’ going over so well,” she commented. “If everything you’ve told me is true, then you’re not the same old Derpy Hooves that you were when you vanished. Not even close. Horse apples, just look at your eyes! That alones going to raise a lot of red flags and suspicions around town, unless you can explain it away, of course.”
“Ohhhhhhh perfect.” Derpy buried her face in her hooves, the full measure of the cumbersome chore that lay ahead really starting to sink in. Her eyes alone were indeed going to raise more than a few questions that would need to be answered one way or another, and that was just for starters. In the grand scheme of things, they were second rate compared to some of the other questions the townsfolk would no doubt have for her.
Where had she been? What was she doing? Why didn’t she give any notice before she ran off?
Suddenly telling the truth seemed a far more preferable option, or at least an easier one, than the proposition of having to craft on the fly a completely fictitious account of an entire year of her life that somehow everypony in town would buy, including some of her closest friends.
This just keeps getting better and better.
It suddenly dawned on Derpy, however, that there was one bright spot in all this; she no longer had to worry about concocting and selling a false narrative to all of Ponyville alone. When she threw herself at a task, one could always count on Carrot to, if nothing else, give one hundred and ten percent from start to finish. Ever since they’d started living together as housemates, the earth pony had always been the calming, orderly influence of the household, and was probably more capable than most ponies in Equestria at minimizing the effects of Derpy’s formerly clumsy nature. On top of keeping their shared residence in impeccable order (for the most part), Carrot also at the same time managed to operate her own vegetable stand in the town market, selling produce that she grew in the garden patch which she maintained outside their cottage. To say she was normally on top of things was an understatement, and Derpy was sure that together they could surely come up with something.
“Carrot, can I count on you?”
“For what?” her friend asked.
“Can I count on you to help me do this? Keep what I’ve told you from everypony else in town, our friends, family, everyone? You don’t have to say yes if you don’t want to, but if you do, we’re stuck in this together come what may. You know that, right?”
A distant look fell on Carrot’s face as the full weight of what Derpy was asking of her really started to sink in. Even Derpy couldn’t say for sure how heavy the burden would be, and she was ready to go it alone if she must. But a moment later, her friend seemed to snap out of her contemplation and gave a reassuring wave of her hoof.
“We’re already stuck in this together after what you told me. Not much I can do about that now except make the best of it. Whatever happens, I’m with you.” Words couldn’t really express the flood of gratitude that overwhelmed Derpy upon hearing that, but she knew just from looking at her that Carrot was putting on a braver face than she felt at the moment. She could only imagine how scared Carrot had to be feeling right then and there, and she’d just have to pay her friend back for the chance she was taking on her by translating her gratitude into meaningful action. Seeing as the stakes had been raised considerably now that the two of them were in this together, she had some extra incentive to do just that and ensure that her secrets remained hidden away from the rest of an unknowing Ponyville. The trick now was simply figuring out how exactly to do that.
“OK, where to start?” Derpy thought out loud. “Well I can’t just start walking around town like nothing happened, that’s a given. Ponies need to learn that I’m back before they see that I’m back.”
“Agreed,” Carrot concurred. “A story in the Ponyville Express might do the trick, but we’ll need to reach out to the right ponies to set something like that up. As it so happens, I might just know the right ponies for doing just that. We’ll need a cover though before we meet with them. Got any ideas?”
“You got me,” Derpy shrugged. “I was thinking about that the whole way back, but when you’ve gone through something as life-changing and outlandish as I did, it’s kinda hard thinking up how to lie about it. It doesn’t help that, like you said, I’ve clearly changed. Whatever I tell everypony needs to somehow explain why I’m so different from before.”
The two separately considered a number of possible solutions before Carrot had a lightbulb moment. “What if you just told a… you know, a ‘half-truth’?” she suggested.
“What do you mean?” Derpy asked, tilting her head.
“I mean, why don’t you tell everypony that you really did set out to change your life, that that’s why you’ve been gone? Just don’t go into the specifics, is all.”
“That’s… huh, that’s actually not a half-bad idea,” Derpy admitted. “Yeah, yeah I could see that being believable. Lots of ponies go on journeys of self-discovery all the time, right?”
“Absolutely. Plus you can’t always explain them, a lot of the time they come out of the blue, and they vary enough in length that a year away from home’s not a stretch for something like that. You’ll still need a pretty good story for it to work, but hey, it’s a start.” Derpy nodded in agreement, a meager but also encouraging sense of relief washing over her. A start it was indeed, and that was more than she’d had a few hours ago. A start she could work with, a start she could cultivate and grow into something tangible, concrete, a fabrication that could pass for reality as long as she needed it to.
She wondered how long that might be. How long she would have to lie to so many ponies, neighbors and friends she cared about. How long Carrot would be stuck lying right along with her, putting her own friendships and dreams on the line. But most of all, she wondered what it would all be for in the long run. If they were going to do this, she had to make it worth it, had to make sure this wasn’t all just done in the name of self-preservation. If she didn’t, the risks and costs would never feel justified.
For now, however, Derpy resigned herself with taking things slow, one step at a time. Yet even as she and Carrot dove into concocting their deception, that last thought remained, scratching incessantly in the back of her mind, an itch she knew wasn’t going to go away anytime soon, not until she found an answer. The sooner she found one, the better, for at the end of that road lay peace, content, and a sense of purpose.
Peace… content… purpose… it will all be worth it. I swear it.
“I still think we oughta say you’ve been in Manehattan, it’d be the perfect place to blend in and go unnoticed.”
“I get what you’re saying, but it’s too suspicious.”
“How?”
“There’s just too many ponies there. It’s a bit of a stretch to believe that I could’ve been in the biggest city in Equestria for an entire year without running into or being spotted by somepony I know.”
“Well I’m still not crazy about telling everyone you’ve just been wandering around up north instead. It just leaves too many questions unanswered, and those’ll lead to even more questions, and more, and more.”
“I’ll admit, there’s a risk, sure, but you have to admit there’s tons of places up north that aren’t very settled or developed. It doesn’t take a huge stretch of the imagination to believe I could’ve been there for a year without anypony noticing.”
“Alright, fine, that might actually work,” Carrot finally conceded. “But how’d you get out there in the first place? Your nervous breakdown spiel is buyable enough, but that doesn’t explain for one second why you didn’t just come straight home right after that.”
Derpy groaned, leaning back in her chair and chewing her bottom lip in thought. They’d been trying to devise the perfect cover story for at least an hour now, but it seemed like every time they figured out how to cover one corner, three more would pop up in its stead. A pale grey light steadily crept through the kitchen windows, marking the coming dawn’s approach, much to Derpy’s mild surprise and dismay. Between convincing Carrot that it was really her and coming up with this cover story, it’d been a busy night to say the least, but only now did she realize just how fast time really had flown.
Stretching her limbs, Derpy gave a powerful yawn, her eyelids fluttering lethargically. Noticing her friend’s tired state, Carrot cleared her throat a tad louder than was necessary.
“I know it’s been a long night, for both of us, but we’re almost finished,” she said in gentle encouragement. “Come on, let’s wrap this up. The sooner we do, the sooner you can get out of that, er, outfit of yours.” Sitting up straight, Derpy shook her head and rubbed her bleary eyes, fighting to keep her mind roused and alert.
“Yeah, yeah, you’re right, sorry about that,” she apologized. “OK, um, how’d I get up north? What about I met a guy?”
“A guy?” an unamused Carrot deadpanned, raising an eyebrow. “Might need a little more than that.”
“Hold on, I ain’t finished!” Derpy hastily reassured her. “Let’s see… I met a guy on the… on the road. Yeah, that’s it. After my nervous breakdown, I met a guy on the road, we got to talking, and he happened to be a really perceptive and charitable stallion, you know, one of those ‘self-help’ types. Offered to tutor me and everything, mentor me and help me gain control over my life, renew my inner peace, that sort of thing. I went with him to a remote location up north, and that’s where I’ve been the past year. That’s pretty much the truth even, if you think about it; I’m practically not even lying.”
“Ehhhhhhh… kind of. From a certain point of view, I guess,” Carrot reluctantly agreed.
“What do you think about that?” Carrot mulled the question over for a moment before finally nodding.
“It’s risky, but… I think that might actually work. We’ll need a name at least for the guy, and you can’t exactly verify that that’s where you’ve been, but nopony can really prove you haven’t been there either, so we’ve got that going for us. Keep your cool and don’t jumble your story up, and the town might just buy all this.”
Breathing a sigh of relief, Derpy slumped in her seat. They still had a long uphill climb ahead, but tired as she was, this was good enough for now.
“Well, now that that’s over with, how ‘bout some breakfast? I’m starving!” she suggested, patting her growling belly.
“Sure, I can cook something up,” Carrot said, though the next instant her face scrunched up as though she were being assailed by something especially revolting. “But first things first, you might want to get out of your gear and clean up. No offense, but you kind of smell like a pack of diamond dogs that just spent a week in Froggy Bottom Bog.”
“That bad?”
“Yeah.”
To be honest, Derpy hadn’t really noticed her steadily worsening body odor during her journey back home. But taking a whiff now, she realized just how rank of a stench was emanating from her. On top of that her coat and mane were absolutely filthy and matted with dirt, grime, and sweat, so a shower (or three) right about now sounded like just what the doctor ordered.
“OK, yeah, it really is that bad. I’ll be back in a bit; feel free to eat without me, this could take a while,” she quipped, making her way upstairs.
A couple of showers later and Derpy felt brand spanking new. It took some hard scrubbing down to rid herself of the funk built up on her journey home, but she didn’t mind considering she couldn’t even recall the last time she’d had a hot shower. She’d definitely need a good preening as well, but that could wait for the time being. Between showers she wiped some of the mud and filth from her chest plate and hammer hooves, and internally thought to herself that she’d have to remember to find something to polish and maintain them. After drying off, she hefted the armor up into the small attic above Carrot’s closet and carefully concealed it beneath some old blankets she found up there. She figured that might be the best place to store them for the time being, especially assuming lots of ponies would be coming and going a lot in the next few days once word spread of her return.
As she made her way downstairs, a savory smell wafted up from the kitchen, eliciting an involuntary grumble from her stomach. She spied Carrot sleeping on her couch and figured she must’ve already eaten. Quietly entering the kitchen, Derpy found, much to her delight, a plate of scrambled eggs along with buttered toast and blackberry jam waiting for her. She ravenously dug into the first real meal she’d had since fleeing the Order; it was a bit cold since it’d been sitting out for a little while, but she couldn’t care less. As far as Derpy was concerned, it might as well have been divine ambrosia, and the only thing that could’ve possibly made this breakfast any better would’ve been the addition of a muffin.
After gobbling up her breakfast faster than a parasprite, Derpy cleaned off her dishes in the sink and opted to follow up breakfast with a much-needed nap. Cleaned up and belly full, the pegasus grabbed a wool blanket in the living room, curled up beneath it in an armchair adjacent to the sofa on which Carrot Top was already dozing, and in no time at all fell into a deep, peaceful slumber.
When Derpy finally stirred from her tranquil sleep, the sun was shining through the living room windows and she could hear birds chirping from outside. Rubbing the last traces of sleep from her eyes, she got up and entered the kitchen. Carrot was nowhere to be found, but Derpy quickly spotted a hastily-scribbled note left on the kitchen table. She trotted over to it and read the note.
Derpy,
Went into town to fetch some ponies who can help. Be back soon.
Carrot
P.S. Have a name for your “mentor” by the time I get back.
Glancing up at the cuckoo clock on the kitchen wall, Derpy saw that it was already well past noon. She crumpled up the note and tossed it into a trashcan beneath the kitchen sink, then made her way upstairs. She had no idea when Carrot might return, but figured that in the meantime she might as well start getting her room in order while she tried to come up with a name for her fictitious mentor.
Upon entering her room, Derpy was rather surprised to find that it looked exactly the way she’d left it. Well, that wasn’t quite accurate; truth be told, it was actually considerably cleaner than when she’d left, Carrot’s doing no doubt. There wasn’t so much as a speck of dust to be found, and she’d even kept Derpy’s old stuffed elephant toy Mr. Trunk out on her bed, neatly resting between two pillows. To say that Derpy was touched was an understatement.
Wow… I would’ve expected at the very least some things to be packed away, but she took care of everything while I was gone. She never really gave up on me, did she? Never once doubted that I’d come back. I never… I didn’t realize she cared that much. Never knew our friendship meant that much to her.
With no tidying up needed in her room, Derpy headed for Carrot’s instead. She didn’t want to snoop around or stick her nose where it didn’t belong, especially given how good Carrot had already been to her, but she’d earlier glimpsed a rather large clutter of paperwork on Carrot’s nightstand beside her bed when she’d been in there hiding her armor in the attic. For whatever reason, she couldn’t shake that image from her mind; it just wasn’t like Carrot to leave such a mess like that out anywhere, much less in her bedroom.
Upon closer inspection she found all manner of documents in the pile of paperwork. Letters, receipts, payslips and bills, all piled haphazardly over each other in one great big hodgepodge of forms. The payslips in particular caught her attention, seeing as Carrot shouldn’t have had any given she was self-employed; looking them over, her heart sank like a stone as she realized they were payslips from the local Hay Burger.
Oh no, how could I have been so stupid? Of course she got a second job while I was gone, how else could she possibly have kept paying the rent for this place? Sweet Celestia, I must be the most insensitive jerk in all of Equestria. Here I am, just dropping in on Carrot out of the blue and asking her to take all of these half-baked, crazy risks just for me, and I didn’t even think to ask how things had been for her! I can’t even imagine how hard this past year has been for her. Gotta find a way to fix that pronto, no ifs, ands, or buts about it.
Sifting further through the papers, Derpy found a number of letters in torn envelopes addressed to Carrot from her Aunt Dot and Uncle Silver of all ponies. From what she gathered as she read through a few of them, it seemed as though Carrot had been keeping them up-to-date on the ongoing search for Derpy as well as any news or rumors out there about her whereabouts.
She did that on top of working two jobs? Buck, I’ll really have to make things up to her. Seriously, what didn’t she do? Also have to remember to get a letter out to Dot and Silver soon, let them know I’m back safe and sound. Should probably visit them soon too, been too long since I last saw them. A few more letters here, wonder if Carrot was in touch with any other fami-
Her whole train of thought ground to a halt upon seeing two words on an envelope addressed to Carrot from a Canterlot address: Hardy Hooves.
That can’t… no. No, it can’t be. How could she have even gotten in touch with him? I didn’t even know his address.
But hard as it was to believe, there it was, clear as day. ‘Dr. Hardy Hooves, PhD,’ in a crisp, clean script she’d all but forgotten. Digging through the pile she found two more letters from him, and for a minute just stared at all three, eyes wide as saucers. Then, just as quickly as she’d found them, she put them back down, even hastily burying the letters beneath more papers as though to put as much between her and them as possible. She didn’t even know what to feel about that, or what she should. All she did feel was a cold numbness in the pit of her stomach. Old, buried, something she’d rather forget than face. She didn’t like it. Not one bit.
The sound of the front door opening and Carrot calling for her snapped Derpy out of her moment of melancholy, and she gladly abandoned those pensive thoughts for another time and headed downstairs. In the entryway she found Carrot along with two other ponies: Twilight Sparkle and Mayor Mare, both of whom Derpy had figured might show up.
Ever since she’d moved to Ponyville and assumed the role of bearer of the Element of Magic, Twilight had become something of a local leading figure around town. Be it some sort of emergency involving a creature from the Everfree Forest (which occurred virtually on a weekly basis) or the even more common social disputes that cropped up, one could almost always guarantee that Twilight would become involved in it at some point. As a national hero, she’d already helped save Equestria multiple times along with her band of closest friends, including from Queen Chrysalis and her changeling army, and it was a safe bet that she had been playing a considerable role since then with keeping an eye out for any signs of another changeling incursion. As for Mayor Mare, as Ponyville’s leading municipal official, it made even more sense that she be here as well. If anypony in town needed to know first that Derpy was back and was who she said she was, it certainly was Ponyville’s mayor.
Both ponies stared up at Derpy in wonder as she lightly trotted down the stairs, like they were witnessing a group of buffalo ballerinas (again). Thankfully, before their jaws dropped any lower, Carrot spoke up.
“Derpy, you know Twilight and Mayor Mare,” she said matter-of-factly.
“Yeah, sure, of course. How’s it going?” Derpy asked, trying her best to set them both at ease.
Before another word was spoken, Twilight teleported in the blink of an eye over to where Derpy stood, eyeballing every inch of her as though she were an antique collector verifying the authenticity of a rare item. Just as Derpy was about to say something, a shimmer of magic radiated from the unicorn’s horn and an indescribable sensation swept over Derpy’s body. It felt like a wave of raw, unadulterated love, somehow transfigured into a physical state, was rolling over, in, and under every fiber of her being.
The sensation lasted only a few seconds, but the second it passed Derpy blinked with a dazed look on her face as though she’d just been hit over the head with a shovel. Twilight herself seemed to markedly relax after her spell’s effects ended, only to replace her newfound peace of mind with an anxious regard.
“Sorry, sorry, sorry! That must’ve felt strange, I know, but, well, it couldn’t really be helped. Had to make sure you weren’t a changeling and all, better safe than sorry, right? You aren’t hurt, are you? The changeling detector spell’s never had any negative effects to date, well, on ponies at least, but I suppose there could always be an exception to the rule. How many hooves am I holding up? Are your ears ringing? Quick, what’s your earliest childhood memo-”
“I’m fine, Twilight, really,” Derpy assured her, recovering from her momentary surprise at the spell. “It’s good to see you too.” That helped Twilight reel in her rambling digression and her cheeks instantly burned a reddish hue out of embarrassment, smiling sheepishly at letting her anxiety almost get carried away as it all too often threatened to do in more cases than she cared to admit.
“It’s true then?” Mayor Mare piped up. “It’s really her?”
“It seems to be,” Twilight affirmed. “Unless of course changelings have somehow found a way to circumvent the spell’s effects, but I don’t see how they could. Still, it can’t hurt to be sure, though we’d best hold off on that until the rest of our party arrives.”
Derpy cocked her head to the side. “The rest of your party? Who else is coming?”
Before Twilight could answer, a knock came at the front door, and Carrot promptly answered it. In the doorway stood Twilight’s diminutive dragon-assistant, Spike, though it was the ponies accompanying him who really caught Derpy’s attention. Behind Spike stood two pegasi: Cirrus Gust and Nimbus Gust. As Ponyville’s police commissioner, Cirrus’s presence was hardly surprising; if Derpy’s return was need-to-know information for anypony in Ponyville, it was him and Mayor Mare. But Nimbus being there, on the other hoof, perplexed Derpy just a tad. Sure, she was an officer of the Royal Guard, not to mention Cirrus’s sister, but whereas Cirrus was wearing his police blues, badge and all, Nimbus didn't seem to have any of her Guard attire on.
If she’s off duty, then what’s she doing here? Unless… nah, no way, that was so long ago. I mean, I guess she might remember mom’s funeral, and what happened afterwards, but still, I have no idea what that day meant to her. Could’ve just been some official state duty of hers, or something. And yet… she didn’t treat it like it was only business. Everything she did that day, it was… genuine. No, not just genuine, truly heartfelt. Wait, what am I even thinking, what difference does that make? It certainly doesn’t tell me what she’s doing here, that’s for sure.
“Ah, perfect timing, thank you Spike, you were very prompt,” Twilight commended her assistant, beaming at him.
“No problem, always happy to help. Although I don’t suppose you’d be willing to throw in a gem for tonight’s dessert?” he asked hopefully.
“Spike!” Twilight said in a warning voice.
“Alright, alright, it was worth a shot though,” he acceded, taking his place at Twilight’s side.
Mayor Mare beckoned the new arrivals to come in. “Commissioner, glad you could join us. And you brought your sister, I see,” she remarked, sounding somewhat surprised herself. The commissioner grunted in affirmation.
“Major Gust insisted on coming along,” he coolly explained. “Seeing as this is a local matter falling under the town’s jurisdiction, I insisted that her presence was not needed. As you can see, we compromised; the major is here in an unofficial capacity as a civilian observer.” Derpy noted a tightness to Cirrus’s tone and wondered if there was some sort of sibling squabble going on between the two. Then again, the commissioner had always had a fairly dry, no-nonsense personality; she should know, given the number of times he’d had to get involved in “incidents” she’d caused around town.
“Well, come on in, please, make yourselves at home,” Carrot urged. “I’ll fetch some chairs from the kitchen for us. Would anyone like anything to eat or drink?”
Spike’s eyes lit up and he raised a scaly claw, but before he could take Carrot up on her offer, the commissioner interjected. “No, thank you. This is official town business, not a social gathering, after all.” Spike crossed his arms, glowering at the commissioner.
After they were all seated, all eyes were on Derpy. Despite Twilight’s assurances that she’d already confirmed that she was no changeling, Commissioner Gust, much to Derpy’s annoyance, demanded that she double check in his presence just so he could be sure. It was a simple enough task, but it still felt just as bizarre as it had the first time for Derpy. Once that was finished, the commissioner’s demeanor appeared to slightly soften, though he still remained poised in his seat, rigid and alert. For her part, Nimbus stayed quiet for the moment, content simply with leveling a calm, steady gaze in Derpy’s direction, not taking her eyes off her.
“So you’re officially not a changeling,” Commissioner Gust noted. “That’s a good start, but there are still quite a few questions that need answering.”
“I’m afraid the commissioner’s right,” Mayor Mare agreed. “It’s not that we don’t trust you, Miss Hooves, we just can’t be too careful these days after everything that happened last year in Canterlot. You understand, yes?”
“Of course, mayor, I’ll do whatever I can to answer any questions you might have, all of you,” Derpy avowed.
“Splendid!” the mayor replied. “Then let’s begin.”
“So let me see if I’ve got this straight?” the commissioner said. “You ran off without any notice, not so much as a word or even a letter or postcard to any friends or family, after a nervous breakdown?”
“Yes sir,” Derpy said.
“And you… wandered aimlessly about until meeting a “wise old hermit” on the road. What was his name again?”
“Full Heart, sir, and yes that was how we met.”
“Right. And this Full Heart, he just took you into his home, in a remote area up north, for over a year and talked you out of your state of mind?”
“He did more than just talk,” Derpy countered. “He treated me. Therapy sessions, meditation, stringent daily exercises, an improved diet, all to promote health of body, mind, and soul.”
“And he did all this simply out of the goodness of his heart?” the commissioner asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow.
“That he did,” Derpy answered. “I know it sounds unreal, and I can’t quite explain it even myself, but you just have to believe me. He told me I wasn’t the first pony he’d ever helped out; he’d helped out many others before me, always has. Said it was his purpose in life to be a teacher, a mentor, somepony to help others struggling to find who they are. I guess he just likes doing it on his own terms, because trust me, I still wonder myself sometimes why he chose to help me.”
Commissioner Gust gave an exasperated sigh and abraded his face with a hoof. For the past couple of hours, question after question had been thrown Derpy’s way. Commissioner Gust had by far had the most, and it was quite apparent to Derpy that he was the most skeptical and guarded of her interrogators, but both Twilight and Mayor Mare had fielded a fair share of questions themselves. While Spike had kept busy taking notes down, Nimbus remained silent as the grave, still simply watching Derpy with a look that in no way betrayed whatever thoughts were ranging through her mind.
“Miss Hooves, is there any way you or anyone else can verify any of this?” the commissioner asked. Derpy shrugged helplessly in response.
“I’m sorry sir, but I really can’t. Full Heart’s a wanderer and roams all over Equestria; the place we stayed at while he aided me was just a temporary lodging for him. I couldn’t possibly say where he might be now.”
“Swell, real swell.”
“Now commissioner, let’s not lose our temper,” Mayor Mare gently admonished. “Miss Hooves has been nothing but cooperative so far, not to mention her account seems far too detailed to be a tall tale or forgery.”
“With all due respect, ma’am, but a year ago a changeling queen was able to pass herself off as the Princess of Love and managed to fool almost everypony around her, including said princess’s fiancé and our own alicorn rulers. Surely you understand if I’m a bit overly-cautious in light of that. Now, she may not be a changeling, but that doesn’t mean she’s telling the truth.”
Horsefeathers, he is relentless. Guess I can’t really blame him. I wonder what the rest think? The mayor’s been all ears for the most part, and Twilight hasn’t had nearly as many questions as the commissioner, so they may be buying it just a touch more than he is, or at least are being more open-minded about all this. Then there’s Cloud’s mom; I still have no idea what she’s doing here, much less what she thinks of all this.
“What I still don’t understand is, if you were as truly troubled as you say you were to the point that you suffered a nervous breakdown, why weren’t there more signs beforehand that you were struggling?” Twilight inquired. “Sure you were always a bit… uncoordinated around town, but you always seemed to bounce right back from any mishaps and laugh them off. What changed?”
“I still struggle to answer that myself.” Derpy frowned, trying to grasp the right words to convey her meaning. “I guess… it’s easier than some may think to bury the negative, the bad in your life, beneath a veneer of positivity. I think I did that for a long time, too long, maybe wasn’t even aware of it until it just became too much to keep it buried any longer. Then when it finally boiled to the surface, it all spilled over at once and before I knew it, everything was spinning out of control and for a while there I didn’t know what to do.”
Silence reigned for several moments after that, every pony in the room struggling with what to say next. Stroking his mustache in quiet contemplation, Commissioner Gust was the first to speak. “Well I’m stumped. There’s really no way as things are that we can definitively verify what you’ve told us is the truth, and yet as fantastic as your story is, your retelling has been very convincing. Legally there’s only one way we could verify it; through a magical probe of your mind, though you’d have to consent to that of course, otherwise it’d be in violation of the Laws of Magic. How about that, Miss Hooves?”
Oh dear, careful Derpy, treading on some thin ice here. Have to convince them somehow I’m not hiding anything but simply can’t go through with such a procedure. OK, stay calm, you can do this. No biggie.
“I’m afraid I’m going to have to say no,” she answered, eliciting a flummoxed look from the commissioner. “I wish I could, believe me, but there’s just some memories from that experience I simply wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing in such an intimate manner.”
To her surprise, Twilight herself nodded in agreement. “That’s probably for the best, to be honest. I’ve read quite a bit about mind probing, but don’t have any real experience with it since it’s so seldom used and largely forbidden magic. We’d have to get an outside expert to conduct a mind probe if we chose to go that route, and that would take a few days at least to arrange, but even then whether or not we could probe her mind would hinge on Derpy giving us her consent. If she doesn’t want to have her mind probed, we can’t really force her to, not without a court order or royal decree at least. With what we’ve heard, despite the unusual circumstances of her return, I’m not sure we’d have enough to convince any legal authority to grant us permission to forcibly probe her mind.”
“Are you actually suggesting that we simply take Miss Hooves at her word based on a judgment call and nothing else?” Commissioner Gust asked, his agitation most apparent in the incredulous look he was casting at Twilight. “I’m sorry, Miss Sparkle, but I can’t simply jus –”
“What did I bring to your mother’s funeral?” Nimbus Gust asked, jarring everypony in the room.
“Nimbus, what on earth are you –” the commissioner began, but just as before he was cut off yet again.
“I’ll ask again: what did I bring to your mother’s funeral?” Nimbus asked, looking Derpy right in the eye. Derpy blinked in surprise, caught off guard by the seeming randomness of the bizarre question, but after a moment she thought she had an idea of what Nimbus was getting at.
“Irises. Two black irises. You left one before her casket and kept the other.” Nimbus nodded and rose from her seat, walking over to where Derpy sat.
“And what did I tell you afterwards, all those years ago?” she asked in a low voice, barely more than a whisper, that only she and Derpy could hear.
Derpy took a deep breath, trying her best to maintain her composure as she dug up the old, painful memory. She may have made peace with it in the past year, but that didn’t mean it didn’t still hurt to recall. “You told me she’d never leave me. That everything that she was, the goodness she channeled her whole life, would never die.” Her words were even softer than Nimbus’s had been, but just loud enough for the guardpony to make them out. Nodding again, more it seemed to herself than to Derpy, she turned to face the others watching them both with anticipation.
“It’s her,” she said. “There won’t be any need for further investigation, mayor. I can assure you all, she is who she says she is.”
“We already established that she is who she says she is,” Commissioner Gust retorted. “But nothing she’s said has in any way definitively verified that her story checks out. How can you possibly be sure that we can trust she’s told us the truth?”
“Because she’s her mother’s daughter,” Nimbus calmly replied, “and I trust that she’d do the right thing and be forthcoming with us. Think about that, brother; you know I wouldn’t make a judgment call like that easily.” The commissioner pondered upon his sister’s words momentarily.
“No, you wouldn’t. But what if –”
“If it will make you feel better, I’d be glad to keep in touch with Miss Hooves for the foreseeable future and help her acclimate back into life in Ponyville.”
Translation: she’s offering to keep an eye on me.
“I think that sounds like a more than acceptable solution,” Twilight concurred. “As long as you’re sure it’s not too much trouble, Major.”
“It’s no trouble at all, Miss Sparkle. I can stay in touch with one pony easily enough. What say you, Cirrus?”
Darting his eyes back and forth between Derpy and Nimbus, the commissioner remained in a state of deep thought for a while more before finally saying, “Alright. If you’re sure it’s not too troublesome, I think that can work. But I expect to hear regularly from you about her; I want to stay on top of this situation as much as you are. Understood?”
“Understood,” Nimbus answered.
“Well, it appears we are all in agreement then,” Mayor Mare stated. “Miss Hooves, you are free to go about Ponyville as you wish for the time being, on the condition that you regularly meet with Major Gust, of course. We’ll let you both work something out. As for breaking the news of your return, I think we’ll take Carrot Top’s earlier recommendation and have the Ponyville Express publish a story about it. I’ll get in touch with their editors as soon as possible. Don’t worry, we won’t share the more intimate details of what you were up to in your absence; we’ll just let them know that you were away for ‘personal reasons.’ How’s that sound?”
“Sounds real swell to me, Mayor!” Derpy replied, a gracious smile fixed on her face. “Thank you all so much for hearing me out, you have no idea what this means to me.”
“Just make sure you vindicate our trusting you,” Commissioner Gust warned. “And try to stay out of trouble, my force has got enough to worry about these days, we don’t need a spike in property damage on top of it all.”
“Don’t worry, sir, my days of being a pain in your neck are over,” a sheepish Derpy assured him.
“Spike, did you get all of that?” Twilight asked her assistant, who was still busy taking notes.
“Just finishing up the last of it,” he told her.
“Excellent! I’ll get copies made for you and the Mayor, Commissioner, just for posterity’s sake, of course. I’ll also get a record of our business here made up and sent to Princess Celestia as well.”
Derpy and Carrot exchanged a quick look with each other. “Uh, you’re not going to send Princess Celestia to my front door, are ya?” Derpy asked.
“Oh no, no, no! It’s merely a formality is all,” Twilight assured her. “I just want to fill her in on the situation and that we have everything under control is all.”
“Oh, OK, yeah, that makes sense,” Derpy said, internally breathing a sigh of relief. The last thing Carrot and she needed was for a princess of all things to get involved in this, but so long as she was just being given a report about Derpy’s return, she didn’t see the harm in that. After all, Twilight was Princess Celestia’s very own personal student, so she imagined the royal would take her protégé’s word for it that her account could be trusted.
“Be sure that my vouching for Miss Hooves is on the record, Miss Sparkle,” Nimbus Gust requested. “That should satisfy her Highness that all is well.”
“Of course, Major,” Twilight agreed. “Well, I think that about wraps up everything here. Thank you both so much for all your patience and help, I know this has been a difficult process.”
“It’s no trouble at all, Twilight, we were happy to help,” Carrot said, a great deal of tension noticeably melting away from her. “I’m just glad we’ve been able to mostly get everything squared away. Would you like anything before you go?” Spike appeared ready to jump at her offer yet again, but this time Twilight spoke up before he could say anything.
“No thank you, we really must be going. Maybe some other time though when things are a bit less crazy.” Everypony with the exception of the equally-sober Gust siblings and the evidently-hungry Spike chuckled at that.
“Here, I’ll show you all out,” Carrot offered, trotting over to the front door and bidding their guests farewell. Derpy started doing the same until she felt a gentle hoof upon her shoulder. Turning around, she saw that it belonged to Nimbus Gust, who was beckoning the mare to follow her into the kitchen. After a second glance at Carrot and their departing guests, she followed.
When she joined Nimbus in the kitchen, the older mare looked her up and down, still wearing that same neutral expression she’d managed to maintain throughout the entirety of their meeting. Just as Derpy was starting to get a little uncomfortable beneath her scrutinizing eyes, she finally spoke.
“Are you well?” she asked. Derpy was mildly taken aback by the simplicity of the question, but tried to roll with it.
“Uh, yeah, doing pretty good,” she replied. “Why, something the matter?”
“No, no, nothing like that,” Nimbus assured her. “I just want to be sure you’re doing alright, is all. You do look well, I’ll say that much, but that only tells one so much. You’re in a good place, yes? In here?” She laid a hoof on Derpy’s chest. It took her a few seconds, but Derpy quickly understood her meaning.
“I think so, yeah. Better than I’ve been in a long time, at least.”
“Good, good.” A temporary stillness hung between the two, neither sure where to go from there. “Well, I’ll be in touch. We don’t have to make our get-togethers formal or anything, we’ll just meet when we can. And listen, if you ever need to talk about anything, anything at all, just… let me know, OK? My door’s always open.”
“Sure… sure, yeah, I’ll definitely keep that in mind,” Derpy said.
Where the hay is this coming from? I don’t think she’s suspicious, I mean, she did vouch for me after all. But why’s she so interested in me all of a sudden?
Those thoughts were pushed to the back of her mind after what Nimbus said next. “Oh, one more thing. Cloud’s out of town right now, but she’s coming back tomorrow. I’ll be sure to let her know you’re back, she’ll be very happy to hear it.”
“Oh great, thanks!” Derpy said in appreciation. Cloud Kicker had been one of Derpy’s closest friends for a long time, going back all the way to summer flight camp in Cloudsdale, long before she’d even met Carrot.
“I imagine you’ll be at home, yes?” Nimbus asked.
“Yeah, probably just gonna lay low tomorrow and let news of my return spread around Ponyville. Don’t want to be walking around town before everypony knows I’m back, right?”
“Yes, that’s probably for the best,” Nimbus granted. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure my daughter doesn’t come barging in after she learns you’re back. I’m sure you’re rather tired after your journey, after all.”
“Yeah, just a bit,” Derpy allowed, trying to stifle a yawn.
“Well, I’d best be going. Take care now, Derpy, it’s… I’m glad to see you’re safe.” Derpy smiled appreciatively in return, still not entirely sure where Nimbus’s personal interest in her wellbeing was coming from, but grateful for it nonetheless.
“Thank you, ma’am, that’s very kind of you to say.” The two mares nodded to each other and Nimbus Gust turned to leave, bidding farewell to Carrot on her way out. As soon as the door closed behind her, Carrot slumped to the floor and leaned her head against the door, breathing a great sigh of relief.
“Wow. I can’t believe that actually worked,” she remarked.
“You and me both,” Derpy said, chuckling. Sitting down next to her friend, the two quietly sat there awhile, each preoccupied with her own thoughts. They were well and truly in this together now; in a day or so the whole town would be fed their fabrication, sold to them as the bona fide truth, and Carrot would be just as accountable as Derpy if their deception was ever discovered. An accomplice: all for being a true friend, because Derpy chose to entrust the truth with her, she’d be considered an accomplice, an accessory to her deception. That alone was reason enough for Derpy to swear by her mother’s memory that Carrot would not pay, would not sacrifice her life on the altar of another’s dreams.
After they’d been sitting there for some time, Derpy remembered what she’d found on Carrot’s nightstand earlier. “You didn’t tell me you were working two jobs,” she remarked.
Carrot didn’t say anything for a few moments, didn’t even look Derpy in the eye. When she finally did speak, she kept her head bowed low, just staring at nothing in particular on the ground. “You didn’t ask, and it, well… didn’t seem important before.”
“Not important? C’mon, don’t be like that; you’ve always paid short shrift to your own needs, your problems. I’ve certainly lived with you long enough to know that about you. But you didn’t have to hide that from me, Carrot; I’m a big girl, I can handle it. I know it’s my fault you had to get a second job to pay the rent on this place. Why’d you even keep it, huh? You didn’t need a place this big, you could’ve easily found somewhere smaller and more affordable to live. Don’t tell me you kept it on my account.”
“I did look for a smaller place,” Carrot uttered, with a tremor in her voice. “About three months after you disappeared. I’m not proud that I did. Almost moved to a new place at one point too, but… I don’t know. I just couldn’t do it.”
“Why?” Derpy asked.
“I guess I figured I’d be totally giving up on too much if I did,” Carrot admitted. “Not just you, but my dreams too, and for whatever reason I just couldn’t do that. We’d made a home here, you and I, a life, and I didn’t want to lose that. I’ve wondered many times if I made the right choice, but since then finding a new place to live in Ponyville has grown far more complicated than it used to be.”
Derpy perked an eyebrow. “How so?”
“Well… you’re not the only one who’s changed. Home’s just not the same anymore. Lots of new faces around town, lots of new… problems.” Derpy was about to press her further about what she meant by that, but Carrot seemed to sense as much. “Can we not talk about this right now, please? It’s been a long day.”
Although somewhat discomfited by that, Derpy nonetheless honored Carrot’s request. It was, after all, the least she could do after everything Carrot had already done for her. “Sure, sure, no problem.”
“Thanks,” Carrot replied. “So, what else did you find while you were snooping around, hmmm?” she demanded, her tone more than a bit miffed.
“Just some letters about me is all,” Derpy answered. Carrot stiffened at that, her eyes widening.
“Oh.”
“Yeah.” Derpy’s voice began tightening ever so slightly. “Care to explain how you got in touch with my father?”
“I didn’t!” Carrot hastily exclaimed. “Derpy you gotta believe me, I would never have done that, not on my own. I reached out to your aunt and uncle, but not him, I swear! He contacted me.”
“What? How? That doesn’t seem possible. We haven’t connected in years, didn’t even know each other’s addresses, so how the hay did he know where to write? For that matter, how’d he even know I was missing?” Carrot shrugged, wearing an expression just as bewildered as Derpy’s own.
“You got me. I certainly didn’t tell him. I thought maybe your aunt and uncle did, but they never said anything to suggest I should expect to hear from him. He sure didn’t either. Didn’t really have anything to say except for questions about you.”
“What kind of questions?” Derpy asked carefully. Much as she still didn’t know how to feel about this, she couldn’t help but inquire about what her father had wanted to know about her. It simply piqued her curiosity too much.
“You didn’t read the– oh, I see,” Carrot said. “Just updates about your situation, that’s all. If I’d heard any news about you, that sort of thing.” Quickly noticing her friend’s disquietude at this information, Carrot hastily added, “But, if it helps, he seemed genuinely concerned in his letters. I mean, like I said, he never asked about anything else. There was always some new question about you he’d manage to scrounge up. How was the search going, who was looking for you, had anypony passing through town heard anything? If there was a question to be asked about you, he always seemed to be the first to think it up.”
“Huh,” was all Derpy could muster. Despite how little she knew, this was still a lot to think about. This was the first time in years her father had taken any interest in her affairs; she couldn’t simply ignore that. Still, she wasn’t about to jump into action either. First things first, she had responsibilities to take care of here, for herself, for Carrot, and for her home. For now, this could sit on the backburner. She’d figure out what to do eventually, but only when the time was right; no use being hasty, not in a matter this delicate.
“Do you… do you want me to write him and tell him you’re back?” Carrot delicately asked.
Derpy thought long and hard about that before finally answering slowly and deliberately, “I suppose. But just the facts, nothing more. Please don’t make it sound like I’m in any rush to reach out myself.”
Carrot nodded understandingly. “Sure, of course.”
“Thanks Carrot,” Derpy said. “You’ve done too much already, you know that? Horsefeathers, you even kept my room completely the same!”
“Well, you know me, stubborn as a mule when I set my mind on something,” she said, grinning wryly. “And my mind was set on not giving up on you.”
“Yeah, you’re kinda awesome that way,” Derpy said, wrapping a hoof around her shoulders and pulling her in for a quick hug. “Now it’s my turn to repay the favor.”
“What’s next?” Carrot asked.
“Well, first things first I gotta get a job. I’ll lie low tomorrow since that’s probably for the best, don’t want to freak anypony out after all. But after that I’ll start looking for something; the sooner you can quit your second job, the better. Might start by trying to get my old job back with the post office.”
“Ooo, you sure?” Carrot asked with a concerned look on her face. “I don’t know. Postmark was pretty miffed when you went missing. You know how short his temper can be.”
“Sure, but are they short staffed as ever?”
“Yeah.”
“Then I should be fine,” Derpy replied. “Post can be a hothead, sure, but I’m not the klutz I used to be. If he needs the help, and he sees how I can work now, then I’m sure I’ll be able to get him to come around and take me back.”
“I hope so. Be nice to get back to working one job and putting all my efforts toward my gardening again.”
“Don’t worry Carrot, you will. I promise you that,” Derpy declared.
“And after that, what then?”
“You got me,” Derpy remarked. “But I’ll figure it out. I’m not just gonna settle for getting my job back, no way. I can do something with all of this, everything I’ve learned, something real special, I know it. The trick’s just figuring out what exactly, but I’m sure if I look hard enough the opportunity will present itself, a chance to help others like I’ve never dreamed of before.”
“You make it sound like you’re searching for your destiny,” Carrot observed, chortling, but Derpy didn’t laugh.
“Who knows? Maybe I am. Maybe that’s exactly what I’m out to find: my destiny.” Neither said anything for some time after that, both just letting that last thought of Derpy’s sink in.
“Well, no matter what destiny you might find or where it takes you, I’ll be with you all the way,” Carrot stated. Derpy gave a sad smile at that, and felt a pang of shame.
“I’m sorry Carrot,” she stated, hanging her head.
“Sorry? For what?”
“For not realizing until now what a true friend you really are.” Once more the two pulled each other into a tight embrace and held one another for some time, content at this very moment just to have each other. There are few things in the world more indispensable than a true friend, and in this moment these two fully understood the truthfulness of that sentiment more than they ever had in their entire lives.
“Welcome home Derpy,” Carrot said, still holding onto her friend. “Welcome home.”
“Come on, come on.” Concentrating with all her might, Derpy stared intently straight into the bathroom mirror. After a few minutes of getting nowhere, her eyes slowly but surely began drifting away from their straightened position until they closely resembled her old, cross-eyed expression. Breathing a sigh of relief, Derpy spent a few moments practicing reverting them back and forth between their straightened and cross-eyed appearances. It took a lot of concentration, but she figured that if she kept practicing it’d get easier in time to switch between the two semblances.
At the sound of a knock upon the bathroom door, Derpy called, “Come in!” Carrot Top immediately entered, holding a steaming mug full of cream-colored coffee.
“Hey, you alright?” her friend asked.
“Yeah, fine,” Derpy replied, shaking her head as she peeled her eyes away from the mirror. “Just practicing some things with my eyes, is all.”
“Oh. Like what?” Carrot inquired, raising a curious eyebrow.
“I’m trying to see if I can make ‘em cross-eyed like before.”
“OK… why?” Now Carrot was genuinely confused, though Derpy couldn’t really blame her given the seeming randomness of it all.
“I figure it might put some ponies around town at ease if they see me with the ol’ cross-eyed expression. Help convince them I’m still me, ya know, same old same old.”
“Yeah, I think I see what you’re getting at. So how’s it going so far?”
“Pretty good, better than I thought it initially would. Guess my body got so used to the old expression that it’s easier to revert to it if I want to. Bet if I keep at it, I’ll have it down like clockwork in no time.” Carrot nodded in understanding, taking a sip from her mug.
“Well, you better get going, work day’s going to start soon and you probably want to catch Postmark before he gets swamped,” she suggested. Derpy nodded in agreement, and grabbed an old saddlebag from her closet before making her way downstairs.
“Yeah, good call, just gonna grab a bite to eat at Sugarcube Corner before I go,” she mentioned, stopping in her tracks when an unfortunate realization suddenly dawned on her. “Uhhhhh… you wouldn’t be able to spare a few bits, would you?” she asked, her face reddening. She looked down at her hooves in embarrassment, but Carrot nodded understandingly and fetched a hoofful from her own saddlebag.
“Here, don’t worry about it, really,” she insisted, hoofing the bits off to Derpy. “Just be sure to get some money out of the bank as soon as possible. Your checking and savings accounts should still be opened same as always.”
“Thanks,” Derpy said, gratefully accepting the bits, “Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to pay you back.” The two friends shared a quick embrace, squeezing each other tightly.
“Alright, go get ‘em,” Carrot said in encouragement. “Just be your old, lovable self, and you’ll do fine.”
“Right, yeah, just be myself.” Derpy headed for the door, taking one last, steadying breath to calm her nerves. “OK, wish me luck. Look out Ponyville, I’m back!”
“This is Ponyville Railway Station, Ponyville Main Street. All departing passengers, please check your overhead luggage rack for any personal belongings, and have a pleasant day.”
A pale brown stallion looked up from the day-old newspaper he’d been dully browsing through for the past hour and glanced out the passenger car window. Sure enough, this was his stop. Tossing away the paper, the stallion grabbed a saddlebag from an overhead compartment above his seat and slung it over his back before stepping out onto the simple railway platform. Spying a station porter handling his luggage, he trotted over to him.
“Good morning, lad,” he said to the teenaged colt. “Would you be so kind as to take my bags to the Silver Saddle Inn for me? I promise I’ll make it worth your while.” Digging through his saddlebag, he produced a bag of bits and hoofed over five to the colt.
“Gee, thanks mister,” the colt said. “I’ll be sure to get these over there right away. Who should I tell the staff to hold them for?”
“Time Turner, if you will,” he replied. “Say, you wouldn’t happen to know a good place to grab a bite to eat, would you?”
“Oh sure, Sugarcube Corner’s pretty much the go-to place around here for early morning commuters. Just a few blocks away from here, you can’t miss it, looks like a giant gingerbread house. I’m sure you’ll be able to find something there to your liking. Anything else I can help you with?”
Time Turner thought for a moment before nodding. “Sure, one more thing. Could you point me to where the Ponyville Police Department is?”
The colt nodded and gestured over his shoulder. “Yeah, that’s easy, just head towards town hall in the center of town, you can’t miss it, biggest building in Ponyville. The police station’s right across the street from it.”
“Thank you, son,” Time said, tossing the colt another bit. “You run along now and get my bags to the inn.”
“Yes sir!” the colt said, saluting the stallion before he started loading his luggage onto a cart. Departing from the railway platform, Time trotted further into the awakening town in the direction the colt had indicated Sugarcube Corner was in.
The sun was still low in the sky, but slowly climbing higher and higher, its rays brightening the whole town. Mares and stallions left their homes for work, some setting up shop in Ponyville’s marketplace, and fillies and colts made their way to school, a few of the littler ones accompanied by a watchful parent. A few passing ponies shared morning greetings with the unfamiliar stallion, which he cheerfully returned. All around Time, life was blossoming, ready for a new day.
Seems like a rather pleasant place, actually. Can’t imagine what could possibly be wrong here; certainly isn’t Manehattan, that’s for sure. Kind of reminds me of home, now that I think about it.
Turning a corner, he came face-to-face with what he could only assume was Sugarcube Corner.
Oh wow… lad wasn’t joking, it does look like a giant gingerbread house. What a strange establishment. That’s certainly something I wouldn’t see back home. Might even be a bit much for Manehattanites’ tastes.
Entering the building (which itself almost looked good enough to eat), Time was greeted by a plethora of sugary smells. Being a bakery, he hoped they might carry something besides sugary confections; he wasn’t very much in the mood for sweets this early in the morning. Making his way into the thankfully short line to the register, Time found his attention drawn towards a commotion in the shop that seemed far too animated for this time of day. Its source, much to his disbelief, seemed to be one single pony alone, a very pink earth pony who appeared to be bouncing circles around a grey pegasus. What was even stranger was that everypony else in the store, including the pestered pegasus, seemed to be taking all of this in stride as though it were no more odd than a summer shower.
“OK, first I have to get a ‘Welcome Back Derpy Jamboree’ put together, wait, no no, that can’t be it. How about ‘Yay You’re Back and Not a Changeling Blowout’? Or perhaps ‘Super Spring Surprise Derpy’s Back Bash’? Oh oh, I know, ‘Yay Hurray So Very Happy You’re Not Deadapalooza’!”
“Those all sound great Pinkie, but I’m sure you’ll settle on just the right one,” the pegasus said, giggling.
“And thennnnnnn you have to tell us all just where you’ve been!” the incredibly hyper mare continued.
“Well, I’ll tell you all what I can, but some of it’s a bit personal and private. You understand, right?”
The one apparently called Pinkie bobbed her head up and down, and without missing a beat said, “Oh of course, nopony likes a snoopy McNosy pony sticking their nose where no nose should go. Should we make a list of everything you don’t want to talk about?”
The pegasus shook her head and replied, “Nah, that’s probably not necessary. We can figure out the details later; besides, you should probably get back to work, looks like you’re starting to get more customers. Talk to ya later, Pinkie. It’s good to see ya again.”
“Okie dokie loki! Later Derpy! La-lala-lala.” Just like that, the pink pony bounced off to some other part of the store.
What a strange pony.
Time turned back to the line when suddenly–
“Hi!”
“Gah!” Time cried out, jumping at the sudden appearance of the very same pink pony he’d definitely seen only seconds before on the other side of the store now directly adjacent to him, as if she’d manifested out of thin air. “What? I mean- how, what, but you were there, and now you’re here, and–”
“I’ve never seen you before! My name’s Pinkie Pie, what’s your name?”
Well that seemed a harmless enough question to answer. “Uh, Time. Time Turner.”
“Nice ta meetcha Time! Or do you prefer Turner? Or maybe Mister Turner? Timey? T.T.? Turneriffic? Timetabulous? Tim?”
Offering only a confused blank expression in return, Time responded the only way he could to that. “What? Er, I mean, no, just Time is fine, thanks.”
“Nice ta meetcha Time! So what brings you to our little corner of Equestria on this funtastical morning we’re having?”
“Well work, actually. Starting a new job here, and just got in on the train this morning from Maneha- are you quite alright?” Quick as a flash, Pinkie’s eyes had widened at an alarming rate and her jaw had dropped so low Time could’ve sworn he could fit his head into her gaping maw. Just as quickly, however, her gasping came to an abrupt end, only to be replaced by a smile that did not seem to stop growing.
“So you’re new in town?!” Pinkie asked, pulling Time in closer and waiting for his answer with bated breath.
“Um… yes.”
Before Time knew what was happening, he was in the clutches of the tightest (and pinkest) vise he’d ever been in in his life. Just as his vision started getting blurry from air deprivation, the pink force relinquished her grip upon him and instead started bouncing around him repeatedly, all the while gleefully cheering, “Yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay!”
Oh sweet Celestia, what did I do wrong?
“Oh my gosh, this is the best day EVER! First I get one, and now two new parties to plan?! Now I’ve got to show you around town and introduce you to everypony, make a list of your favorite flavors of ice cream, pick up a dozen avocados and piñatas from the Avocados and Piñatas store, and learn everything there is to know about you! Could this possibly get any better? OK, first question: have you ever been or plan to be at some point in the future allergic to okra?”
Time had never seen anything like it; her mouth just kept moving and would not stop, as if it had a mind of its own. Just when it seemed like she couldn’t possibly think up anything else to say, more words just came pouring out of her like a flooded river crashing through a smashed dam. Thankfully salvation came in the form of an amber earth pony standing behind the counter.
“Pinkie, what did we tell you about smothering customers?” the stallion wearily admonished.
“Awwwww, but Mister Cake, I hadn’t evened gotten around to my Welcome Wagon Welcome song yet!”
“No, not in here! You’re holding up the line and we told you two weeks ago that you had to stop bringing that in, it was scuffing up the floor and you kept getting confetti and cake batter everywhere.”
“But this time I’m sure I put the confetti in the confetti cannons and the cake batter in the oven,” Pinkie pleaded. “At least I think I did. Though there was that welcome party for Bitta Blues just two days ago, and I may have had Gummy restock the Welcome Wagon after that since I was also busy with Lucky Clover’s birthday party that day, and sometimes he mixes up the cake batter and confetti, which you’d think he wouldn’t since alligators aren’t color blind, but–”
“Never mind that. Pinkie, would you be a dear and go into the kitchen to see if Missus Cake needs your help with any orders?” Mr. Cake asked.
“Yepperoni!” she said, and without another word she bounced her way back through a set of batwing doors, leaving a thoroughly flummoxed Time Turner behind.
“So sorry about that, sir, Pinkie can get a little… overenthusiastic sometimes,” Mr. Cake explained, chuckling.
“I can see that… er, no worries though, it’s no trouble at all, really,” Time assured him. “Sorry, I don’t believe I caught your name.”
“Of course, my apologies. I’m Carrot Cake, owner of this fine establishment along with my wife Cup Cake. You already met Pinkie Pie, she’s not family but rents the loft on the third floor. Then there’s our twin foals, Pound and Pumpkin; they’re not awake right now, but you’ll probably see us around town with them soon enough. And you are?”
“Time Turner, pleasure to meet you,” he said.
“Likewise. So, what can I get you this morning Mister Turner?” Mr. Cake asked.
“Well I was wondering if you might happen to have some muffins. I’ve got a real hankering this morning for a buttered muffin.”
“Certainly!” Mr. Cake replied. “Have a look for yourself, we’ve got all sorts of muffins right here for you to choose from.” He indicated the display case in front of him, but after a moment’s survey Time only gave a puzzled look in return.
“Sorry, you’ve got some lovely looking baked goods here, but I can’t seem to find any muffins.”
“What?” Mr. Cake gave him a perplexed look of his own. “Sir, there’s two rows of them right here.”
“Where, behind the sweet buns? I’m telling you, there’s no muffins in there.” By now the line behind Time was starting to grow, and some ponies were getting rowdy. “You know, muffins, small, round, flat, you toast and butter them?”
“Ohhhhhhh, you mean Trottish muffins!” Both Time and Mr. Cake looked directly behind him to find that same grey pegasus whom Pinkie had been talking to earlier. “I was passing through Canterlot once on a delivery and asked for some muffins at a local bakery, and that’s all they had. Nasty things, so dry, absolutely no flavor whatsoever. Uh, no offense.”
“Um, none taken,” Time replied.
“Oh, Trottish muffins, of course, silly me!” Mr. Cake exclaimed.
“Ah, you do know them! So you have some?” Time asked hopefully.
“Uh no,” Mr. Cake replied. “Sorry, never carried them in stock ourselves. Not much of a demand for them around here.” Time’s shoulders sagged in disappointment.
“Well, got any bagels or anything? Not really much in the mood for a sugary snack this time of day.”
“Our first batch of the day isn’t quite finished, but we do have some day-old ones if you’re interested,” Mr. Cake offered.
“Well, alright, sure, let me see–”
“Oh no, you don’t want some day-old bagel,” the pegasus mare interjected. “Here, get a pumpkin muffin, I promise you it isn’t that sweet.” Time glanced between her and the indicated confection with some apparent skepticism, but finally assented.
“Alright, fine, I’ll take one of those pumpkin muffin, sweet cake things,” he said.
“Certainly sir, coming right up!”
“And a cup of coffee too, if you have any.”
“Of course. That’ll be three bits,” Mr. Cake said.
“Thanks,” Time said.
“I’ll take a butter rum muffin myself, Mister Cake,” the pegasus behind Time said.
“Second one already, eh Derpy?” Mr. Cake said, chuckling.
“Ah what can I say, been too long since I had ‘em, I got ‘muffin withdrawal’,” she joked.
“Alright, that’ll be two bits.”
“Here you go. Hey mister, wait up!” she called to Time, who turned to face her.
“Uh, yes? Can I help you, miss?” he asked.
“Just wanted to know if you’d like to join me is all. Figured you’re looking for a place to sit, and from the looks of things, you’re also new in town, right?” Time nodded.
“I sure am, and certainly, I’d be happy to join you. Always happy to make a new acquaintance,” he stated.
“Great, follow me!” The two trotted over to a nearby table and hungrily dug into their morning snacks.
“Mmmmm. You know, this actually is pretty good,” Time remarked between bites. “You weren’t lying, not too sweet but very flavorful.”
Derpy nodded. “Yeah, can’t ever go wrong with a pumpkin muffin. Always a favorite of mine,” she said through a mouthful of muffin.
“I can tell,” Time chuckled.
Swallowing the delectable snack, Derpy’s face reddened. “Sorry, couldn’t help myself. Kinda been awhile since I had one of these, and guess I missed them more than I realized,” she said, smiling sheepishly.
“Yeah, you mentioned that,” Time remarked. “So from the sound of things, I gather you just got back into town, miss…”
“Oh, Hooves, Derpy Hooves. And you are?”
“Time Turner, pleasure to meet you Miss Hooves,” he said, extending a hoof which she shook.
“Likewise, but please, call me Derpy. Nopony calls me Miss Hooves, like, at all. And yeah, been out of town for a little over a year,” she explained.
“Why’s that?” Time asked.
“Eh, it’s kind of personal,” Derpy replied, looking down and rubbing the back of her neck.
Oh, good one Time, didn’t take long to turn this conversation awkward. Smooth.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to step out of bounds there.”
“Oh no, it’s fine, you’re fine!” Derpy assured him. “It’s just a bit of a private matter is all. Let’s just say I had to get some things squared away and straightened out in my life.”
Time nodded understandingly after taking a sip of his coffee. “Hey, we all have ‘personal issues’ we have to deal with. And dealing with them is better than ignoring them, I mean, that’s how we grow and all, yes?”
Oh great, now I’m telling the pony I’ve known for all of five minutes that she had a problem when I don’t even know what she was dealing with. Truly I am the epitome of smooth.
Much to his relief, his new acquaintance didn’t seem perturbed in the slightest. “Took the words right out of my mouth,” Derpy said in agreement. “But enough about me, tell me about you! What brings Time Turner to our quiet little corner of Equestria, hmmm?”
Grateful for the topic change, Time happily answered her query. “Work, actually. Starting a new job here with the Ponyville Police Department.” Derpy’s eyes widened in surprise.
“So you’re a cop?”
“Well, detective actually,” Time clarified. “But yes, I am a law enforcement officer.”
“Detective, huh? I would’ve never guessed. Not sure you’ll find that many crimes to investigate around here. Where are you coming from anyway?” Derpy asked.
“Well I’m originally from Trottingham, but I’m coming over from Manehattan and–”
“Manehattan!” Derpy exclaimed. “You left a job with the Manehattan police force for one in Ponyville? Sounds like somepony wanted a change of pace.” Time gave a flick of his ears, one after the other, and silently contemplated how best to respond while periodically sipping his coffee.
“Eh… I guess you could say that,” he finally said, frowning. “I just wanted to go where I thought I was most needed, though from what I’ve seen so far… ah, forget it.”
“Sorry,” Derpy hastily threw in. “Was it something I said?”
“Nah, forget it, it’s nothing,” Time assured her, somewhat forcing a small smile. “So tell me more about Ponyville. Seems like a charming little place so far, from what I’ve seen. Certainly would love to know more about the place I’ll be calling home from now on.”
“You sure? What about work?”
“I actually arrived in town a little early, so I’ve still got some time yet,” Time explained. “Though if you need to head off to your own job, don’t be late on my account!” Derpy shook her head.
“No worries, I’ve got some time myself. OK, where to start? Well you’ve already met Pinkie, so you pretty much know her. And before you ask, yes, she is always like that.”
“Always?”
“Always. It’s for the best, really; you really don’t want to know what she’s like when she’s not herself, believe me! Also, a word of advice: she is dead serious about that welcome party she said she’s going to throw for you, and probably already knows where you live, so don’t be surprised when it happens. It will, trust me, it just will.”
Time briefly considered asking more about the perplexing earth pony, but swiftly decided against it. From what he’d seen and heard already, he figured further scrutinization would lead to only more questions (and possibly a migraine). “Right, well I’ll be sure to keep all that in mind and keep my eyes peeled for any surprise welcome parties. Please, carry on.”
“Cerberus?! No way, you’re pulling my leg.”
“Nope, it’s the truth, I swear! He was right outside just across the street, chewing on that building there.”
“Which one?”
“The one with the big strawberry and cherry fixtures on top.”
“Ohhhhhhh now I see it. Guess I’d go for something like that too if I was a giant, three-headed dog. How’d you all ever get rid of him?”
“Well that was thanks to Fluttershy. She just gave him the biggest belly rub I’ve ever seen before Twilight led him back to Tartarus. She’s kinda insanely good with animals that way, though I’m sure you’ll know all about that soon enough. You’ll probably be dealing with Fluttershy quite a bit given that she’s also one of the Element Bearers,” Derpy remarked.
Time’s ears perked up at that. “Oh that’s right, that bunch lives around here! It’s so odd to think that some of Equestria’s greatest heroes live in some dainty little town in the middle of nowhere like Ponyville.”
Derpy giggled. “Yeah, I guess it is. Things have certainly gotten pretty interesting around here since all of that business with Nightmare Moon a couple years back. No idea if the two are related, but we certainly seem to attract all sorts of interesting characters and creatures to our neck of the woods these days. No one seems to mind, really, I mean, we always seem to bounce right back on our hooves. Maybe we’re all used to it by now.”
“You’re all used to thousand-year old nightmare tyrants, guardians of Tartarus, and lords of chaos by now: should I be concerned?” They both shared a hearty laugh, audible even over the noise of the by-now bustling crowd that filled the bakery.
All things considered, Derpy was rather pleased with herself at the moment. She normally wasn’t one to welcome strangers to Ponyville (most folks in town left that to Pinkie Pie since, well, she was so good at it), but things had been going quite smoothly. She’d given Time a nice rundown of Ponyville, from some of the basics like Sweet Apple Acres, the Element Bearers, and the town’s propensity for attracting bizarre and dangerous creatures, to more specific little tidbits, like how their town was one of the only ones in Equestria that still manually cleaned-up winter without the use of any magic. It’d all come very easy to her, and it didn’t hurt that Time was a considerate listener, though at the same time a very pleasant conversationalist.
“So, where’re you staying? Got a place of your own?” she asked.
Time shook his head. “Not yet, no. Only decided on the job change itself a few weeks ago, and been busy getting things settled at my old job in Manehattan since then before the move. I’ll be at the Silver Saddle Inn for the time being until I find something more permanent. Got any suggestions?”
“Hmmm… well, Filthy Rich manages a lot of the real estate in town; my own housemate and I rent our cottage from him. He’d probably be able to find something for ya. Er, don’t let the name fool you, Filthy’s a good guy for the most part, treats his tenants and business partners very fairly, even if he does like raking in the bits.”
“I’ll keep that in mind, thanks,” Time said. “What kind of rates does he normally char–”
“Sweet Celestia’s Sunbutt, it’s really her!” a voice suddenly cried out, a voice which Derpy knew all too well. Before she had time to react, however, a lavender blur flew into her with the force of a buffalo charging full speed, and two hooves wrapped her in the tightest of vises.
“Argh… hey Cloud, nice to see you too,” Derpy barely managed to get out while Cloud Kicker continued to squeeze the life from her in a hug that could almost rival one of Pinkie Pie’s.
“It’s you! You’re back, you’re really back! Oh my gosh, where the buck have you been, you crazy filly?” Cloud exuberantly asked, mercifully relinquishing the grip of one of her forehooves as she proceeded to give Derpy the biggest noogie of her life.
“Cloud, language, we’re in a bakery for goodness’ sake, not some nightclub,” another voice called out in rebuke, this one belonging to Blossomforth. “And let poor Derpy go, she’s half dead already the way you’re going!”
Cloud loosened her grip, much to Derpy’s relief, but blew a raspberry at Blossomforth. “Aw, c’mon Blossom, what did you expect? Had to go big or go home with a homecoming like this. Although I can certainly think of a few ways it could stand to improve. Say Derpy, care to drop by our place later today? We can have a real bang-up welcome back bash, if you know what I mean.” Cloud cast an expectant, promiscuous glance at Derpy and Blossomforth, her lewd gaze darting back and forth between the two. Derpy giggled, glad to see Cloud hadn’t changed a bit, but Blossomforth on the other hoof simply rolled her eyes.
“Cute, real cute, that’s real mature Cloud. In case you hadn’t noticed, we kinda interrupted Derpy and her friend here.” She gestured towards the somewhat befuddled looking Time, still reeling from Cloud’s sudden appearance. Finally letting go of Derpy, Cloud turned to Time and waved.
“Oh yeah, sorry about that,” she said, grinning sheepishly. “Well OK, not really considering I’m pretty sure I’ve known Derpy longer than you have, but still, nice to meet you. I’m Cloud Kicker and this spoilsport’s my marefriend, Blossomforth. And you are?”
“Time Turner, er, a pleasure,” he said, nodding at both mares in acknowledgment. “And don’t worry about it, I really need to be going anyways. First day on the new job and all, certainly don’t want to be late and make a bad first impression.” Getting up, he turned back to Derpy. “Thanks for the warm welcome, Derpy, it’s been a pleasure meeting you. Hope to see you again soon; maybe we’ll talk some more over muffins some other morning, eh? Take care!”
“You too Time, good luck with the new job!” Derpy said, waving at him as he departed Sugarcube Corner. Blossomforth gave Derpy a quick hug of her own before pulling up a chair after he left, followed by Cloud.
“He seems nice. Nice flank, too,” Cloud remarked.
“What?” Derpy blurted.
“Oh yeah, quite the looker indeed. Not bad, not bad at all,” Cloud continued, only to get cuffed upside the head by Blossomforth.
“Honestly, is that all you think about? Even seeing Derpy for the first time in over a year, and that’s where your mind immediately goes?” she chided. Cloud just shrugged her shoulders in response, all the while wearing a very self-satisfied grin.
“Hey, I just call ‘em like I see ‘em, you of all ponies should know that, my little bedroom contortionist,” she teased, nudging a blushing Blossomforth in the ribs.
“So you two are still together, huh?” Derpy asked, drawing nods in the affirmative from both mares. “Wow, I must say I’m impressed Cloud! Never thought you’d be one to ‘settle down,’ so to speak.”
“Well now, let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Cloud warned. “It’s not like we’re married or anything. But yeah, I guess we’ve got a pretty good thing going on, Blossom and I. Still have some pretty crazy nights on the town sometimes, but certainly doesn’t hurt that Blossom here’s quite talented in ways I can definitely appreciate. I mean, not as much as me, but hey, who is?”
“We’ve been living together at Cloud’s place for about six months now. It’s a bit cramped, and I’m still not crazy about living on the ground, but we manage for the most part. Not so bad living on the ground when we have each other.” Blossomforth gave Cloud a short but sweet nuzzle, a gesture which was well received.
“Ahhh, the things I have to put up with now. Look at this, I swear, I can barely keep her off me for five seconds,” Cloud teased. “But enough about us, what about you? Where the hay have you been, huh? Spill it, we wanna know everything, and I mean ev-er-y-thing.”
“Don’t you two have work with the weather team? I don’t want you guys to be late,” Derpy noted.
“Aw c’mon, our supervisor’s Dash for crying out loud, she won’t mind!” Cloud assured her. “If anything she’ll probably be happy she gets a chance to show off carrying more of the workload until we get there. So c’mon, talk!” It was obvious by now these two weren’t going to budge, so Derpy figured she at least had the time to give them the short version. Well, the short version of the fiction she and Carrot had concocted, at least.
“Alright, alright, I’ve got some time, but I can only give you the condensed version right now. I’ve gotta try to get my old job back this morning, and you know how Postmark can be. Best to get him early in the day before things get too busy for him.”
While the story remained the same, Derpy couldn’t help but feel a little more guilty than she had yesterday telling it now. It just felt more wrong lying to two of her best friends like that, especially Cloud; they’d been friends since they were both fillies, and Cloud had always looked out for her during some of the rougher patches she’d been through. She may not have joined the Royal Guard like most other Kickers, but she definitely had quite the protective-streak running through her, especially when it came to watching out for her closest friends. Still, it couldn’t be helped, not unless Derpy wanted to open up a whole new can of worms and cause herself all sorts of trouble.
When she finished, both Cloud and Blossomforth were staring at her with slack-jawed expressions. Cloud was the first to snap out of it.
“Wow… that’s quite the trip you went on,” she remarked in bewilderment. “I don’t know what to say, Derpy. Feather me, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Now it was Derpy’s turn to be confused. “Sorry? For what?”
“I’m supposed to be your friend, Derpy. Hay, I’ve known you since we were both fillies. And yet I never noticed you were struggling. That you needed someone, something in your life to make it better. I just… some friend I am.” Both Derpy and Blossomforth were caught off guard by Cloud’s remarks and downcast demeanor, and Blossomforth quickly rubbed her shoulders with a reassuring hoof.
“Hey, don’t say that, none of us noticed,” Blossomforth comforted her. “It’s not like Derpy was begging for help or anything. Sounds like she kept a lot of this pretty well buried, right?”
Derpy nodded in confirmation. “Blossom’s right, Cloud. I thought I could just grin and bear my problems on my own. That didn’t make either of you any less of friends. You just had your own lives, your own dreams and problems, and I… well, I just didn’t want to make my burdens your own. I didn’t want to even confront them, much less force ponies I cared about to do so.” Cloud frowned as she processed these rebuttals but soon grudgingly nodded.
“Alright, fine, maybe there wasn’t anything more I could’ve done. Doesn’t mean I’m happy about it. I mean, horsefeathers, there were times we thought you were dead!” Teasingly she conked Derpy over the head. “Don’t ever do that again, you knucklehead, you had me worried sick!”
“Gee Cloud, sounds like you sure missed me,” Derpy teased.
“Of course I did! The mere thought of never seeing your delectable bubble butt ever again was almost more than I could handle,” Cloud declared, followed by an over-the-top swoon as though even now the suggestion alone pained her still. “Although now that I mention it, I must say, your bubble butt lost a little bit of its bubble, what gives?”
“Oh you know, been eating better, working out a lot. All Full Heart’s doing, mind you. Why, you don’t like the new me?”
“I don’t know. You have me in quite the pickle. On the one hoof, you had one of the finest posteriors in all of Equestria. On the other hoof, this new, lean you is looking fine, very fine indeed. Hmmm, decisions, decisions… ah to hay with it, you’re as bangable as ever, that’s all that really matters!” Cloud and Derpy broke into a fit of giggles while an evidently unamused Blossomforth just sat there shaking her head in dismay at her marefriend’s behavior.
“Remind me again why I’m still with you?” she asked drolly.
“Well where does one even start? Between my looks, my undeniable charm, and the irresistible allure that just seems to resonate from me, I’m surprised you didn’t get with me sooner,” Cloud reflected, clearly buying every word coming out of her mouth.
“Nah, it’s probably just that you’re half-decent in the sack,” Blossomforth countered, setting off a fresh round of guffaws about the whole table. Derpy wiped a few tears from her eyes as she calmed down, the first happy ones she’d had in some time.
“Oh boy, I missed you guys a lot,” she said. “Well, this was fun, but I really have to get going. Promised Carrot I’d get a job this week after all, and I intend to do just that. See you around girls, we’ll have to catch up some more sometime soon!”
“Of course, have a nice day, Derpy, and good luck with the job hunt!” Blossomforth called out.
“Our bed’s always open for some ‘catching up’!” Cloud declared, earning her one more cuff over the head from Blossomforth. Derpy sighed as she departed Sugarcube Corner, a warm feeling of content spreading throughout her whole body. So far so good, all things considered. In her first morning back home she’d made a new friend and reconnected with some old familiar faces, and it wasn’t even lunchtime yet. It was still going to take some time to readjust, but more and more she really felt like she was back home, back where she belonged, and old friends like Cloud and Blossomforth certainly helped.
It was nice to see that some things never changed.
“So let me see if I follow you,” Postmark began. “You skip town and your job, no word to anypony whatsoever, and leave me high and dry. You come back over a year later and your first thought is to try and get this very same job back as though nothing happened. And you think this is going to happen why, exactly?”
Oh boy… guess Postmark’s disposition hasn’t changed much either.
All things considered, Derpy supposed things could be going worse. At least he hadn’t thrown her plot out of the post office the second she’d walked in. But still, her efforts so far weren’t going much better than that.
A prickly old earth pony, Postmark had always been a tough but fair boss for the most part, but he also knew how to hold a grudge. Needless to say, Derpy had given him more than a few headaches in the past with her old antics and periodic clumsy episodes, and frankly she was amazed sometimes that he’d never fired her before, though her tireless dedication to her job could’ve been behind that. But now she’d crossed a line, and she knew it. She didn’t regret for a second anything she’d done in the past year, but still, she understood where he was coming from. Disappearing without a trace on personal business? She was surprised he was still talking to her at all.
“Postmark, please, hear me out. Leaving you high and dry like that, that was wrong, I get it, and for that I’m sorry. But I don’t regret what I did. I was a mess, a lot more than you or anypony else knew, and I wouldn’t trade anything in the world for what I went through in the past year. I’m a new pony, sir, and a lot better for it.”
“Well that’s all fine and dandy, now, isn’t it? But you didn’t answer my question. Why should I hire you now after royally bucking me and the entire Ponyville Post Office over?” Postmark glowered at Derpy from across his desk with a look that could make the most stalwart of stallions quake with fear, but Derpy met his gaze without so much as a flinch. Confidence was crucial in this situation, and she knew she’d get nowhere with Postmark hemming and hawing.
“Look, I could feed you some line about appealing to your better nature, but we both know that wouldn’t work. So I’ll be blunt instead. I saw the mountains of mail and packages in the back, and I know for a fact you’re as short staffed as ever. So clearly you need all the help you can get right about now. Well, I’m here, ready and willing to get right back to work, and I promise you I can and will give you far better work now than I ever have before, if you’ll only give me the chance. So what do you say, Post?”
For a while it didn’t seem like he’d say anything, and just keep glaring over his desk at her. For the most part his expression didn’t change one bit, save for an eyebrow raised ever so slightly after Derpy had laid her cards on the table. She knew there was nothing more she could do now, not after that. She was either going to get her job back, or get her plot thrown out faster than you could say pickle barrel kumquat.
At last, bitterness dripping from every word as though an acrid taste clung to his tongue, he said, “OK. If we’re pretending, even for just a moment, that there’s anything at all which might incline me in the slightest to give you your job back, there is… maybe, maybe one thing that would.”
Derpy allowed the slightest sigh of relief to escape her lips. “Alright, now we’re talking. So what is it? You name it, I’ll do it. That is, assuming it’s a job. It is a job, right?”
“Yes, yes, it’s a job,” Postmark confirmed, waving a dismissive hoof. “Calm yourself. I still can’t guarantee that I will give you a second chance, but if you perform well enough, I just may. What do you know about Ponyville’s South Side?”
“Uh… South Side? You mean like Sweet Apple Acres?”
“No, no, no,” Postmark shook his head in exasperation. “Sheesh, what, have you not looked out a window since you got back? The South Side, across the Smith River. It’s a big collection of newer businesses and residencies that’ve settled the area in the last year. It’s also where the new ‘mountains of mail’ you mentioned are coming from, or rather, going to. We’ve got almost twice as many customers now than we did last year before you left, and even after hiring three more delivery ponies in the last six months, we still don’t have enough sets of hooves. I’ve got a week’s worth of backlog, mostly for the South Side, just sitting back there; if you can somehow get it all delivered by this afternoon before the work day ends, I might just consider bringing you back on. We got a deal?”
Despite the fact that this news was a lot for Derpy to absorb all at once, she hastily nodded.
“Deal. I’ll get right on it.” The two shook hooves, sealing the verbal contract.
“Good, you do that now. Just one more thing before you go,” he added. “Be careful. The South Side’s a bit… rougher than most neighborhoods in town. There’s some scary characters over there. Just don’t piss anyone off, alright? There’s plenty there who won’t just laugh off one of your goofs, if you know what I mean.”
Derpy was more than a bit taken aback by Postmark’s words of warning. Despite his grumpy nature, not much truly phased him; after all, he had put up with her as an employee of his for years. For that matter, she really had no idea what he even meant by a “rough neighborhood” in Ponyville. Sure they had their slew of monster attacks fairly regularly (more like with alarming regularity the more Derpy thought about it), but Ponyville itself was about as quaint a small town as they came.
Maybe this South Side’s what Carrot was talking about yesterday when she mentioned things had changed. What was it she said? New faces and new problems. Well, guess I’ll see soon enough, won’t I?
Flashing an earnest smile, Derpy assuredly replied, “Don’t worry, Post, I’ll be sure to tread lightly. It’ll practically be like I’m not even there.”
What in the world is going on?
A wide-eyed Time Turner surveyed the scene before him with bewilderment. On the outside, Ponyville’s police station looked every bit the small town police headquarters that it should; a humble two-story brick building, it was neither as big as the city’s town hall nor nearly so quaint as the cottage-like structures which seemed to make up the rest of the town as far as the eye could see. Still, it appeared like it belonged, a piece that just seemed to naturally fit into Ponyville’s small-town scenery as much as anything else he’d seen there so far.
The inside, on the other hoof, was a whole other story.
Police ponies, detectives, lawyers, and criminals (some being booked, some getting out on bail) were bustling all over the place like an army of multicolored ants. A cacophony of voices struggled to be heard over one another, paperwork was strewn all over the place, and a stench of cigarette smoke and burned coffee hung in the air.
In a word, it was utter chaos.
Wow… they’re more buggered than I thought. I know Chief said things were bad here, but I never imagined this. Where does one even begin?
Time took it all in for a few moments before a voice spoke up from his side. “Hey there, can I help you?” Turning, Time found a light green pegasus with a short snow white mane dressed in police blues looking at him with an inquisitive expression.
“Oh yes, sorry! Uh, Detective Time Turner, at your service. Just transferred from Manehattan and it’s my first day on the job; you wouldn’t happen to know where I’m to report, would you, miss?”
The officer’s ears perked up at the news and she nodded in recognition. “Oh yeah, the Manehattan guy, the commish told us to keep an eye out for ya. Name’s Frost, Officer Spring Frost, pleasure to meet ya.”
“Likewise,” Time nodded, shaking her extended hoof.
“Commissioner Gust is expecting you; I think he’s meeting with another new guy right now, but he should be finished any minute now. Follow me.” Officer Frost took the lead, forcing her way through the throng of ponies bustling about, and Time duly followed in her wake. Ascending a set of stairs in the back of the station, the two made their way to the second floor and after a short walk came to a door with the words ‘Police Commissioner Cirrus Gust’ painted on fogged glass.
After lightly rapping on the glass, the two waited until a loud “Come in!” came from inside the office. Entering, they came upon two stallions, one, a wide-eyed, young-looking freckled fellow, the other, a middle-aged pegasus whom Time could only assume was Commissioner Gust. Sitting behind a crisply-ordered desk which didn’t look like it had so much as a paperclip out of place on it, he looked every part the model police commissioner, right down to his navy blue coat, neatly-trimmed mustache, and regulation-cut mane and tail. Judging from some old photos Time had seen of him, aside from some flecks of gray now dotting his rich, golden hair, he looked barely any different from his younger days on the Manehattan police force.
The commissioner’s eyes widened in recognition as the two ponies entered, and he rose from his chair. “Ah, Officer Frost, your timing is punctual as always. You must be Detective Turner, I presume?”
“Indeed I am, sir,” Time affirmed. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“Likewise,” the commissioner replied. “Please, have a seat. I was just finishing up welcoming another new member of our force. Officer Frost, I’d like you to meet your new partner, Officer Sun Flowers.” Spring Frost cocked her head to one side, her face stiffening into a carefully neutral expression as the evidently surprising news hit her like a ton of bricks.
“Partner?” she repeated. “Oh sir, you… you shouldn’t have.”
If Commissioner Gust caught the strained intonation in her words, he didn’t show it. “Why not? I think it’s a rather ideal fit. You’re one of our more experienced patrol officers after all. I’m sure you’re more than qualified to show Officer Flowers the ropes and will get him to fit right in in no time. That sound good to you, Officer Flowers?”
“Sure does, sir!” the earth pony beamed, blissfully unaware of his newly assigned partner’s poorly hidden annoyance. “Sun Flowers, pleasure to meet ya, ma’am!”
“Uh, likewise,” she replied hesitantly.
“Why don’t you two get to know each other better on patrol? Show him the rounds, officer, help him get acquainted with how we do things.”
Breathing a small sigh, Spring muttered, “Yes sir” in defeat and beckoned the rookie to follow her. They quickly departed, closing the door behind them and leaving Time alone with his new boss.
“Well, you sure dropped that on her,” Time observed. The commissioner relaxed back into his chair and shot an impassive look back at Time.
“What’s your point, son?” he asked aloofly. “She’ll get over it.”
“Bit cliché, don’t you think? Looked like something straight out of a bad buddy cop comedy,” Time remarked, chuckling. Commissioner Gust, however, apparently didn’t see what was so funny.
“I don’t really care. We’ve all got to work with some green sometime, that’s inevitable. Frost is a good officer, but if she wants to be a better one, learning how to teach another’s how she’s going to do it. That’s that, and she can take it or leave it.”
Time straightened up in his seat, remembering who he was dealing with. “Of course sir, as you say. Sorry for the cheek, train ride was a bit long is all.”
“No need to apologize,” the commissioner assured him, waving a dismissive hoof. “New moves are never fun, not in the beginning at least. Always long, always stressful, I get it. But enough chitchat, let’s get down to business.”
The commissioner spent some time going over basic police guidelines and other minutiae, nothing Time hadn’t heard before. This normally wouldn’t be a problem, but unfortunately he happened to have some rather pressing matters on his mind at the moment. After a while he began to get lost in thought, though unfortunately he didn’t do a very good job of hiding it.
“Hey, you listening to me, son?” Commissioner Gust sharply asked, stirring Time out of his train of thought.
“Erm, sorry sir, my apologies,” he quickly said, bowing his head. “Won’t happen again.”
The commissioner looked him over carefully a moment before finally asking, “Something on your mind?”
“It’s nothing, really sir,” Time assured him.
“Well I certainly would hope I’m not so boring to a new member of my police force that he would stop listening to me over nothing, so I’m guessing it’s not nothing. Come on, spit it out.”
Time took a deep breath and rolled his head from side-to-side a few times, clearly uncomfortable with whatever it was he had to say but finally acquiescing. “Well, I hate to say this on the first day of the job, but, well, I guess I’m just wondering what I’m doing here?”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Well, it’s just… when I agreed to take this job, I was under the impression that the situation here was urgent and out of control. Commissioner Ember told me as much, and she assured me that if her old beat partner said things were out of control, then it must be so. So I took it, because it sounded like this was a place where I might be needed.
“But to be honest, sir, even though I’ve only been here a couple of hours, this place already comes off as just about the most quaint, run-of-the-mill small town you could ask for. The townsponies are lovely, the streets clean, and everything’s as bright and happy as a fairy tale happy ending. So what gives, sir? What am I doing here? Either there’s something I’m missing or you’re quite the exaggerator.”
Instead of answering, the commissioner simply rose from his chair and strode straight for his office door. Time was sure his new boss was about to show him the way out and also probably give him a piece of his mind, but instead he just opened the door and beckoned Time to follow. After a second’s hesitation he did, following the older stallion down the hall and up another flight of stairs until a few minutes later they emerged out onto the roof of the police station. While hardly the tallest structure in Ponyville, it was still one of the taller ones in town and had for the most part a clear view of the surrounding landscape, including most of the town itself.
“You’re only half-wrong, detective,” Commissioner Gust finally said. “For almost as long as I’ve been here, Ponyville has indeed been like something out of a vacation brochure. Even today it still looks the part, at least at first glance. But the funny thing about looks is that they can be quite deceiving, sometimes.”
They both walked to the edge of the roof, looking out over the whole town. Below them, townsfolk bustled this way and that, going about their everyday business as usual. Time wasn’t sure yet what he was still missing, but he listened with rapt attention to the commissioner’s words which he spoke with unmistakable seriousness. He had to know why.
“Couple years back things started getting a bit nuttier around here when the Elements of Harmony were rediscovered. Between Nightmare Moon, Discord, and pretty much any foul creature you could think of dragging itself out of the Everfree, trouble of all sorts sure seems to have a way of following those Element Bearers around. Still, I can’t really complain; our police force may not exactly be equipped to deal with a lot of those threats, but those girls sure can and always manage to hold their own somehow. Point is, things got crazier, but we adapted, we dealt with the crazy because we could. That is, until about a year ago.”
The commissioner turned and walked to the opposite edge of the roof, followed by a still-puzzled Time Turner. Leaning over the edge, he stared out across the small river which quietly cut through Ponyville, his mind seemingly elsewhere for a moment. Tearing himself from his stray thoughts and back to the matter at hoof, he turned to Time once more, in that moment the living, breathing picture of stoicism in every aspect of his demeanor.
“Tell me detective, what do you see?” he simply asked.
Taking a look for himself, Time scanned the area, sure there must be something which would pop out and reveal itself to his critical eye any minute now. But no matter how long or hard he looked, nothing stood out. All he saw as far as the eye could see was more buildings and more ponies.
Letting out a sigh in frustration, he answered, “Just more of your town, sir. More buildings, more ponies, more everything. So what am I not seeing here? I bet it’s something that’s going to make me feel real dim for completely missing it, right?”
“Hardly,” the commissioner replied. “On the contrary, every observation you just made is perfectly true. But what would you say if I told you that a year ago, almost everything you see across the river wasn’t there?”
“Come again?” That couldn’t be right, Time was sure of it. There were almost as many buildings on the south side of the river as there were on the north side. Towns this small didn’t grow like that, they just didn’t.
But Commissioner Gust nodded emphatically without missing a beat. “I’m dead serious. Last year most of that side of the river was nothing but empty land on the edge of the Everfree. But in the past year we’ve seen a population explosion the likes of which this town hasn’t known since its earliest days. Town’s populace has almost doubled, and more and more just keep coming.”
“So it’s a logistics issue, then,” Time suggested. “Your force is stretched thin and you’ve got too few hooves to handle all the new faces, is that it?”
“In part, yes,” the commissioner confirmed. “But it’s also considerably more complicated than that. If it were just a matter of hiring more officers to the force, you think I’d be calling in favors from old friends and looking as far away as Manehattan for veteran officers like yourself?”
“Probably not,” Time admitted, conceding the valid point. “So how’s it more complicated? Your new residents aren’t all changelings in disguise, I hope.”
Time chuckled, trying to lighten the mood, but his attempt at levity fizzled rather quickly. If anything, Commissioner Gust’s mood only seemed to get even grimmer than it already was, if that were possible. “That’s no laughing matter, detective,” he sternly remarked. “To my knowledge, we’ve no changelings among us, but you can never rule anything out, not in times like these. But no, that’s not our primary problem. No, the root of our problems is the root of where all these ponies came from. All evidence suggests that this population boost has been primarily spurred on by a vigorous and significant incursion of organized criminal activity.”
An incredulous Time’s eyes widened. “You’re kidding! Here?”
Cirrus nodded. “Are you familiar with a slimeball by the name of Foggy Trotter?”
“Foggy? Wait, of the Trotter crime family in Manehattan?” Time asked.
“The same.”
“Sure, I know that weasel. Pretty low level guy in the family hierarchy, if I remember correctly. Slippery eel, though, mostly involved in some minor racketeering and smuggling operations; we raided a couple of his suspected joints but could never tie anything directly back to him. Then he dropped right off our radar. I figured he must’ve skipped town, maybe gotten in some trouble with a rival crime family.”
“Well he’s here now,” the commissioner said matter-of-factly. “And it seems he’s the head honcho around these parts. We haven’t been able to tie anything to him here either, but he owns a number of legitimate businesses in the South Side and there’s mounting evidence that he’s running a number of illicit operations.”
“If you don’t have anything solid, how do you know all this?” Time questioned.
“Because I have eyes and ears, detective, and so do the rest of my officers. Ever since Foggy and his pals showed up, it’s not just more ponies that have come to our town; trouble followed him here as well, lots of trouble. We haven’t just seen an uptick in crime around here, we’re seeing crimes committed that Ponyville hasn’t even dealt with before! Burglaries, robberies, assaults, and that’s just what’s been reported. We’ve also heard whispers of widespread intimidation and extortion, and not just south of the river. They’re starting to branch out north, it seems, and folks are getting scared.”
Cirrus grimaced as though the mere thought of what he was about to say next was distasteful. “We can barely keep track of all the new faces around town, there’re just too many coming too fast, and we don’t have the infrastructure for it. If a recent arrival suddenly disappears, I don’t even know if they’ve just left town or if something far worse has happened to them. We’ve been making so many arrests that we’ve had to construct a brand new, makeshift penitentiary on the northern edge of town. And about a month ago some poor filly who looked like she should still be in high school was… sexually assaulted.”
Time winced, deeply troubled by the picture being painted for him by Commissioner Gust. Things were starting to click and make sense, and if everything he was being told was accurate, then clearly the situation around here was worse than he’d thought. Ponyville’s police had to be way in over their heads, too few in number and not prepared to handle this level of crime. The new residents couldn’t possibly help matters either. In a small town like this, everypony knew each other, law enforcement included. That helped build not only a sense of community, but also genuinely aided police in their work; knowing those you served forged connections between civilians and law enforcement that made them both more likely to better collaborate with one another. But a whole half of town barely anypony knew, including the police? That was just trouble waiting to happen.
“Alright, that certainly does sound problematic to say the least. And you have no idea what could have possibly set all this off?”
“None.”
“Great. Anything else I ought to know?”
“Oh it gets better,” Commissioner Gust said sourly. “I think Foggy and his friends might be running some smuggling operations. No idea if contraband is being brought in or if they’re simply using Ponyville as a waypoint on a bigger smuggling network. Could be both for all I know.”
“How in the world could they be managing that without anyone noticing?” Time asked. “For that matter, how is any of this going undetected? I understand you’re shorthoofed around here, but a place like this is too small for all this kind of activity to possibly be flying over everyone’s heads.”
“I was just getting around to that,” the commissioner assured him. “You’re right, though, criminal activity of this nature and at these levels should not be going unnoticed, not here. Granted, Foggy owns a lot of property, including a couple warehouses; that’s a lot of real estate for him which he can use to move goods through. But that can’t be it, uh-uh, not by a long shot.”
The commissioner letup for a moment, looking over the young detective before him with gauging eyes. When he’d finished his silent appraisal, he continued, “I might as well just come out and say it. I think some members of my force are dirty. That’s what you’re doing here, detective.”
It took a minute for Time to register what he’d just been told. As it sunk in, he just stood there, donning a dumbfound expression and standing perfectly still save for the occasional, aggravated flick of his ear. Finally he snorted and shook his head in disbelief. “Well… isn’t that just perfect.”
“I need your help on this, Detective Turner, desperately,” Commissioner Gust firmly stated. “And you and I both know that you’re uniquely qualified for just such an endeavor. When I began looking for some fresh sets of hooves, I extensively investigated multiple officers in the Manehattan PD looking for a transfer. Your name stood out, and I think you can guess why.”
“Yeah, I can,” Time shot back. “It’s because I was an errand boy for internal affairs and got the shaft for my trouble.”
“Now don’t be like that,” Commissioner Gust enjoined. “Your cooperation with IA back in Manehattan was both good and admirable work. You directly helped root out a number of corrupt elements within the police force, and I know for a fact that Commissioner Ember greatly appreciated your efforts. She told me as much in personal correspondence, and you know as well as I do that she is not one to hand out praise lightly.
“Now look, I get it, I do. I really do. You sacrificed a lot because of your work, there’s no denying that. IA’s the law enforcement equivalent of the kid on the playground who nopony else wants to play with. When you did what you did, I can only imagine how many officers treated you as though you were no longer even a brother of the badge. Corruption or no corruption, you went behind their backs, and that’s hard for any police officer to forgive.”
“Gee, thanks, that supposed to make me feel better?” Time asked with overt sarcasm. Unfortunately for him, Cirrus wasn’t having any of it.
“No, it’s not,” he retorted. “In fact I’m sure you still feel pretty shitty after you more or less got shunned into leaving the force. As well you should. But you learned an important lesson, or at least you should’ve. In case you haven’t yet, let me spell it out for you. Doing the right thing’s not always all it’s cracked up to be; sometimes it’s shit, and when it is, that’s when we need to most step up, that’s when our true character shows itself for what it is. From what I can tell, based on what you’ve weathered, yours is pretty damn admirable, and I want someone like you, with your character, on my force. What do you say, detective?”
Time thought upon that long and hard. The memory of what he’d endured in Manehattan, the treatment he’d received from mares and stallions whom he’d called colleagues and even friends, simply because he’d done the right thing which no one else wanted to do, was still painfully fresh in his mind. Those wounds were still healing, and he’d come to Ponyville in part to get away from all that.
Yet he’d also come because he still wanted to make a difference, and this was a place where he thought he could do just that. He’d never imagined all this going on here, but he was still young, bright, resourceful, and had an unceasing sense of duty to that which was good and just ingrained in him since he was a colt. Despite his previous experiences, he knew there was no way he could walk away from a situation like this simply because he might have to relive what he’d wanted to escape in the first place. He’d run already, but only when the going got tough; he wasn’t proud of that, and still regretted it in many ways, but at least he’d tried to weather the storm. There was no way, however, that he was going to run ever again, much less because he was scared. If he did, then he didn’t deserve to so much as wear the badge.
I hate it when I know I’m wrong in every which way. Ah well, guess it’s better than thinking I’m right when I’m wrong. It’s probably going to be a total shit if I stay, but hey, at least I won’t be alone. Suppose that’s it, then; nothing more to do than earn my keep and do my job.
With new determination in his voice, Time looked Cirrus straight in the eye and said, “Well sir, I say let’s step into this shitstorm together.”
For the first time since meeting him, the commissioner flashed the slightest of smiles and gave Time a firm pat on his shoulder. “Glad to hear it, son. So, where do you want to start?”
“Well, I guess first things first, assuming there are indeed dirty cops here, who can I trust?”
Commissioner Gust tepidly chuckled. “No one, if I’m being perfectly honest,” he bluntly replied. “Outside of myself, of course.”
“Wonderful.”
“Indeed,” the commissioner dryly concurred. “Now that’s not to say I’m looking over my shoulder every five seconds; that’d be sheer paranoia and probably do more harm than good. Obviously there are some I’m more certain are clean than others, but none definitively one way or the other. All I know for sure is that somepony’s dirty, maybe more than one. Too much is being missed, too many crimes getting overlooked for it to be mere ineptitude that’s responsible. Someone is deliberately looking the other way, maybe even actively misleading other officers and sending them on wild goose chases away from real crimes in progress.
“Just keep your eyes open, tread carefully, watch your back, and as a general rule, trust no one. Get to know your fellow officers and use caution in choosing who you collaborate with, but do not give anyone your full trust, not until we know with certainty who we can. Until that time, you and I can only trust each other and ourselves.”
“Well… that’s simply splendid now, isn’t it?”
Commissioner Gust shrugged. “It’s not ideal, certainly, but it can’t be helped. I really should have had guidelines in place for dealing with this sort of thing, but can you honestly blame us for not being better prepared to deal with this? I mean bought cops, here? Never saw that coming in my wildest dreams.”
“Right, I get that. About as shocking as organized crime having a presence here. Heading up this force as long as you have, probably figured you had everything you needed in place to keep things running smooth. Anyone would’ve been caught off guard as much as you were.”
Cirrus gave a cheerless grunt but shook his head. “Still no excuse for how bad this situation has become. Long as I’ve been doing this, with my experience, shouldn’t have let things get so out of hoof.”
Time nodded sympathetically, unenvious of his chief’s position all things considered.
Bet he’d kill for the kind of infrastructure he’d have with a force like Manehattan’s right about now. Seems the deck is quite stacked against us. But hey, guess things wouldn’t be very interesting if it weren’t, now, would it? At least we’ve got some good experience between the two of us. Town’s very fortunate to have an old beat cop like him for commissioner, especially if half the stories Commissioner Ember told me about him are true.
The commissioner absentmindedly preened his feathers on his left wing for a moment before turning back to Time. “Sorry, old Long Patrol wound. Wing doesn’t work so good anymore, gets a bit sore from time to time. One more matter of business: just so you’re aware, I’ve not shared my suspicions with anyone else on the force. You and me, we are the investigation. Share your findings and suspicions with me and only me, don’t even so much as hint to anypony else that you’re looking for dirty cops. Think you can be that discrete?”
Time nodded in affirmation. While they’d be shorthoofed, in some ways he actually preferred this arrangement; at the very least he wouldn’t have to deal with being a go-between guy for an internal affairs division. This would be a very personal, hooves-on investigation, just the way he liked it. More responsibility and pressure, sure, but more freedom as well. If he did his job right, Time just knew he’d flourish in an environment like this. Still, more help couldn’t possibly hurt, and an idea suddenly entered Time’s mind as he considered some options they might have.
“I don’t suppose there’s any chance we might be able to land some assistance from certain outside parties?” Time asked. “I remember reading before I came here that there’s a company of Royal Guard currently operating in the area. They still around?”
The commissioner gave a stiff nod, and his mustache peculiarly twitched from side-to-side. The annoyance very evident in his body language did not escape Time’s notice. “They are, they are. Machwing Company’s stationed at a base about ten miles north of town, been there for the past year. But I’m afraid that’s simply not an option.”
Time cocked his head to the side. “Why not? Certainly not unheard of for the Guard to assist in law enforcement affairs if it’s needed. Not saying we declare martial law or anything, but I’m sure they could spare at least a few hooves.”
The commissioner, however, resolutely shook his head in firm rejection of the proposal. “I’m afraid Major Gust simply cannot. It’s not a question of Machwing Company’s capabilities; after all, they’re one of their highnesses’ finest and most prestigious units. However, they’ve got their hooves full with their own responsibilities. They were stationed here for one reason and one reason only, and that’s to keep a sharp eye out for changelings and changeling activity. They’re spread very thin as it is and have to patrol a region that stretches all the way from the Rambling Rock Ridge to White Tail Woods. I am not saddling them with more responsibilities than they already have.”
The commissioner’s reasoning was plenty sound, but something he said piqued Time’s curiosity. “Hang on a moment… Major Gust? Uh, any relation there, if you don’t mind my asking?”
Commissioner Gust groaned but nodded, albeit hesitantly. “If you must know, yes, there is. She’s my sister. And if you’re thinking what I think you’re thinking, the answer is no, my refusal to ask for Machwing Company’s assistance has absolutely nothing to do with my sibling.”
“I didn’t say anything,” Time reassured him, raising his hooves defensively but also grinning sheepishly. The commissioner rolled his eyes and remained unamused.
“I assure you, it is not personal; I would never dream of being that selfish. It is merely a matter of duty, that is all. Our duty is to enforce the law and to serve and protect Equestria and the citizens of Ponyville in doing so. Major Gust’s duty, on the other hoof, is to ensure the safety of the Element Bearers; why else do you think an elite unit like Machwing Company was assigned to this region?”
“Makes sense, but from what I’ve heard, those Element Bearers take care of themselves pretty well,” Time countered.
“Maybe so, but the changelings managed to abduct and replace an alicorn princess herself right under our very noses in the most heavily guarded city in all of Equestria, and no one was the wiser until disaster was upon us. That cannot happen again, and I refuse to interfere with my sister’s responsibilities by overburdening her with my own. It is not that I grudgingly refuse to collaborate out of pride; it is that I refuse to compromise Equestria’s wellbeing simply because the going has gotten tough for us recently. These problems in town are our problems, and I will not make them anypony else’s. Is that understood?”
Time sighed but reluctantly nodded. As much as he hated to admit it, the commissioner had a point. He still wasn’t entirely convinced the chief’s relationship with Major Gust didn’t have anything to do with his refusal to ask for help from her, but nevertheless, he knew the changelings still posed a grave threat even after their failed attack on Canterlot the previous year. If they ever resurfaced anytime soon, the Element Bearers would undoubtedly play a critical role in stopping them, so obviously ensuring they remained safe and secure until that time was of the highest priority.
“Of course sir, understood. Don’t worry, I won’t approach them for help unless you at any point decide it’s prudent to do so.”
“Sounds like a plan, detective,” Commissioner Gust said. Once more he turned his gaze to the south, staring out across the river. After regarding it for some time, he finally said, “I won’t lie, detective, I’m scared. In all my time here, I’ve never seen anything like this. Buck, I never saw anything like this in Manehattan. There’s something sinister about all this; it’s too well-organized, too well-run. The big operations, the really major business, whoever’s involved has stayed squeaky clean up to this point, and that tells me there is an intelligence behind these operations and how they’re being conducted. Your run-of-the-mill crooks usually aren’t this good at staying in the shadows.
“I love this town. I’ve made a life here with my family, seen my children grow up here, found a place to call home, my own. There’re good ponies here, lots of them, and they’re scared too. Some are still trying to get a good grasp on what’s even going on, and most never imagined this type of trouble would or even could come here. If we’re going to act, to do what we have to in order to turn things around, we need to act soon. It’s not going to be easy, but if we’re true to our trade, our service, our guiding principles… well, that might be enough. We’ll see, I suppose. You ready to get to it?”
Time smirked and nodded. “You bet, sir. I’ll give you and this town everything I’ve got and then some. Count on it.”
That solitary thought kept resonating in Derpy’s mind as she darted about the South Side, no easy feat considering she wasn’t familiar with any of these new addresses or their inhabitants. Her mail deliveries, in spite of the sizable amount she was carrying, had been uneventful enough so far, in no small part because she was moving faster and more smoothly than she ever had before. But now, with mishaps and fits of bungling behavior no longer an issue for her, Derpy’s attention was fixated instead on getting a feel for this new area of town.
And from what she’d seen so far, she was still struggling to believe it was an actual part of Ponyville at all. No part of town had felt this upside down since it’d been literally upside down during that whole episode with Discord, and even then things had seemed less alien than they did now.
For starters, nothing positively looked like it belonged in Ponyville; most of the buildings here, although fairly new, appeared ramshackle and dilapidated. Some looked like they’d been thrown up overnight, others as though they’d been lived in for a lifetime already and then abandoned for years. The sturdiest-looking structures weren’t your typical small town businesses or residencies either; bars, nightclubs, even a couple of strip clubs seemed to dominate the business district. While Ponyville had a couple of pubs and nightclubs of its own before Derpy had left last year, they were nothing like these. The Dragon’s Hoard, Club Crimson Veil, Midnight’s Delight, Moonshine and Mares, Foggy’s Bottom; these all sounded like establishments one would find in a place like Manehattan or Baltimare, and they certainly looked the part as well. From shuttered or obscured windows on some to what could only be described as salacious billing on others, Derpy felt like she’d stepped into a seedy part of a big city.
It didn’t end at seedy, though. Looking around, dodgy was another word that came to mind. Most of the ponies she saw wore cheerless faces and seemed rather standoffish, keeping to themselves as they listlessly moved about whatever business they were up to, and an especially destitute-looking few reeked of alcohol and sat at intervals along the street panhandling. Those who weren’t lifeless seemed the sort anyone with a shred of commonsense would go out of their way to steer clear of. Hulking bouncers stood outside some of the new establishments, and small groups of hoodlums and bruisers haughtily roamed the streets like they owned the place.
Derpy had already had to go airborne more than once getting out of their way, and every time they passed it was like she wasn’t even there. Not that she took it personally; from what she could tell, they treated anyone not associated with them the same way, and most ponies seemed to shrink in on themselves anytime a group approached, trying their best to make themselves as small and inconspicuous as possible.
She didn’t like it. Not one bit. If these were the kinds of changes Carrot had been referencing earlier, no wonder she’d been hesitant to delve further into it. How had all this happened in just a year? Where had all these ponies come from, and for that matter, why these ponies? Derpy couldn’t begin to imagine how an area of town like this had sprung up in just a little over a year. That sort of thing didn’t just happen, not in a town like Ponyville.
I gotta ask Carrot about… all of whatever this is. I mean, this is just weird. We’ve certainly seen our fair share of strange characters come to town, but this isn’t just one or two new faces, this is a whole new neighborhood! But one that’s as… un-Ponyville, I guess, as one could possibly imagine a place could be. I wonder if– oof!
In a split second, Derpy found herself lying at the bottom of a heap beneath some unknown mass which seemed to have been flung into her. Whatever it was, it was hefty, felt grimy, and stunk of sweat and booze. Struggling to get it off of her, she quickly noticed the mass appeared to be writhing as much as she was, and laughs were coming from somewhere behind her. Finally managing to wriggle out from beneath and raise herself back up, Derpy discovered that the mass in question was a very flushed-looking mule. Despite a small cut over his eye, which appeared fresh, the clearly-tipsy fellow was giggling uncontrollably between hiccups as he vainly tried to roll over and get up. Instead, his legs just clawed at air, and Derpy couldn’t help but think he looked like a giant bug stuck on its back. It’d be kind of funny if she wasn’t so annoyed from being knocked over by him.
Somepony else, however, evidently did find it funny, as howls of laughter continued coming from behind her. Turning around, Derpy spotted two rather sizeable stallions standing in the doorway of a bar she’d been passing by, both of them laughing up a storm, although their attention seemed focused on the still hapless chap lying on the ground.
“Oh yeah, you sure showed us, didn’t ya? Hey, next time you’re seeing three of me, maybe you shouldn’t pick a fight. Bucking jackass.”
The mule in question groaned at that. “Hey… t-told yeh ta stop callin’ me th–hic–that.”
“Oh buck off, haven’t you had enough already?” the seemingly lead stallion returned. “I told ya, I’ll call you and any other mule I see a jackass whenever I feel like it, and some dumb, drunk mule ain’t about to tell me otherwise! Now why don’t you crawl back in some gutter where you belong?”
Oh wow, aren’t you just the nicest fellow?
The two stallions started heading back into the bar when it just came out. “Little early in the day to be getting plastered and starting a bar fight, don’t you think?” The second the words slipped out of her mouth, Derpy knew she’d stepped into something, and a rush of both adrenaline and dread swept over her.
What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing?
Both stallions stared incredulously at her for a second, like they were just realizing she was even there. Those incredulous stares, however, quickly became dangerous glares.
OK, you got this. Just… don’t make anything worse than it already is. Defuse, Derpy, defuse.
“The buck you say?” one of the stallions asked, as though daring her to even utter another peep.
Defuse? Come on, is that what you really want?
Derpy didn’t say a word, but she didn’t shrink either. Instead, she just stared right back at them.
If you really wanted to defuse anything, you wouldn’t have said a word. Come on, you want this.
The stallions glanced at one another then back at Derpy. “Hey, what the hay you looking at?” the other asked.
If you wanted to, you could turn them inside out. Chew them up and spit ‘em out. Come on, what are you waiting for? Do it.
Slowly, very deliberately, Derpy took her postal worker cap off and lowered her mailbag to the ground.
Do it.
One step forward. Two steps. Three steps. She was now mere feet away from them.
Do it.
“I’m looking at a couple of jack-”
“Oh hey look, the mail’s here! Got anything for me today, Miss Mailmare?” Both Derpy and the thugs snapped out of their tense standoff at that, and turning to her left, Derpy saw a young unicorn mare shuffling through her mailbag. That set off a few alarms in her mind, and Derpy quickly remembered her earlier priorities.
“Hey hey hey, that’s post office property! You can’t just go through my mailbag.”
“OK, OK, sheesh, sorry!” the mare exclaimed, holding her hooves up apologetically. “Say, you look new around here. Want me to show you around?”
Derpy raised an eyebrow, trying to figure out what angle this mare might be coming from. Her thoughts were interrupted, however, by an annoyed snort behind her from one of the stallions she’d been seconds away from picking a fight with.
“Hey Flake, do you mind? We were kinda in the middle of something here. Beat it.”
The unicorn simply made an exaggerated pouty expression in response. “Awww, that’s not very nice. I wonder what my sister would think when I told her just how not nice you are? Wonder if she’d tell Foggy.”
Derpy had no idea what was going on, but whatever was happening, that definitely got a rise out of the lead stallion. His companion, however, nudged him in the side, shaking his head. “C’mon man, let’s just go back inside. Ain’t worth it.”
He turned to leave, but the still-fuming stallion didn’t budge, staring daggers at the mare now flashing a cheeky smile. “Don’t you dare forget how damn lucky you are to be Firecracker’s sister,” he spat venomously. “Anyone else talked to me like you do, their face would be buried in the mud beneath my hoof, and that’s just for starters. You best pray you’re never one of ‘em.” With that, he turned and slunk back inside with his partner.
Derpy carefully watched both stallions retreat back inside, making sure they were gone for good, before retrieving her items she’d set down. “Uh, thanks for that… whatever you just did back there, Miss, er, Flake was it?” she asked the oddly unfazed mare.
The mare smiled back at her. “Snowflake. Er, just Snowflake, no need for all that ‘Miss’ nonsense, never been a fan.”
Snowflake, eh? Well you certainly look the part between your ice blue mane and white coat. Even got a snowflake cutie mark to go with it. Very interesting hooves though; bottom half of the coat is the same ice blue shade as your mane. Never seen that before.
“And it’s no problem, happy to help a newcomer who didn’t know any better!” Derpy blushed a bit at that, but quickly shrugged it off.
“Oh, I’m not exactly a newcomer. I lived here long before anyone in this part of town did, I’ve just been… gone a while.”
“Well I ain’t ever seen ya till today. How long a while?” Snowflake asked.
“Oh… a year. Maybe a bit more,” Derpy replied.
“Wow, that sure is a while!” Snowflake remarked. “So what brings you back, er…?”
“Derpy. Derpy Hooves. But, just Derpy’s fine. And I guess you could say I was feeling homesick, is all. Quiet place like Ponyville, it grows on ya after a while.”
“I know what you mean,” Snowflake agreed. “I haven’t even been here that long, but there is something real special about this place you can’t help but notice. Though I imagine it wasn’t quite like this when you left, huh?”
“How’d you know?” Derpy asked.
“Well it just stands to reason,” Snowflake explained. “I mean, most of us in this part of town came here in the past year. My sister and I came about ten months ago ourselves, straight from Baltimare.”
Baltimare? That’s strange, don’t know too many ponies around here who came from big cities like that.
“Baltimare, huh? That’s quite a ways away. What brought you out here, if I might ask?”
“Oh, you know, word got out that business was hopping here, that sort of thing,” Snowflake disclosed. “Come on, I’ll tell you more while I show you around. I gotta grab a bite anyway before my lunch break ends.”
“Wait, you were serious about that?” Derpy asked in a surprised voice. Snowflake readily nodded.
“Sure. I mean, you’re gonna be doing deliveries around here regularly, right? Well, you gotta get to know the neighborhood, now, don’t ya. Sooner you do that, the better.”
Derpy liked this mare already, impressed by her generous offer, especially given how young she looked.
“Alright, sounds like a plan, but only if you’re sure. Lead the way, Snowflake!”
“With pleasure,” she said.
For some time, both mares wandered about the district with Snowflake leading the way. It was a bit slow-going, but Derpy dropped off mail and packages when she could, all while Snowflake helpfully explained who lived where and what certain establishments were, information which Derpy dutifully made note of and mentally tucked away in the back of her mind. While they hardly hit the entire neighborhood, it was still a good start and would make navigating the place much easier for Derpy going forward. After stopping at a tiny eatery nearby where Snowflake grabbed a bite to eat, the two mares continued onward, Snowflake taking bites of her eggplant panini between sentences.
“So tell me, where exactly did everyone around here come from?” Derpy asked. “Cause I gotta tell ya, we never saw a population boost like this around here before I left.”
“Oh, all over. Manehattan, Fillydelphia, Baltimare, lots of big city ponies like my sis and I.”
Strange, very strange. Why the hay have so many urban dwellers been coming all the way out here?
Not noticing Derpy’s furrowed brow, Snowflake continued. “Yeah, certainly been a big change from the city, but we’re doing alright. I kinda like how wide and open everything is. And the green, oh gosh, everything’s so green! No concrete jungle around here, that’s for sure. Anyways, here we are, Midnight’s Delight!”
They both came to a halt outside one of the new establishments Derpy had spied earlier. From what she could tell, it appeared to be a bar or nightclub of some sort, and compared to some of the others she’d seen so far it was one of the more agreeable looking ones. The building’s façade itself resembled for the most part the typical cottage design so prominent around Ponyville, impressive considering some of the South Side buildings looked like they’d been thrown together in five minutes, much less had any actual thought put into their design. The sole, noteworthy deviation from the standard Ponyville design was the great, glowing, magenta neon sign on the front of the building which read in flowing script ‘Midnight’s Delight.’
“Um… OK, uh, why are we here?” Derpy asked.
“Duh! I told you I was on my lunch break. Well, this is where I work,” Snowflake replied matter-of-factly.
“Ohhhhh, I see,” Derpy acknowledged. “Well, I better be going the–”
“Oh no, please, come in, I insist!” Snowflake pleaded. “You just have to meet Midnight. Trust me, you won’t regret it, you’ll have a hay of a lot easier time getting to know the South Side once you meet her. Besides, you can drop off some of your mail with the girls inside, I’m sure you’ve got something in there for at least a few of them.”
Derpy waffled at that idea. She really didn’t need a distraction like this right now, especially not today of all days. However, a glance at the town clock tower allayed her nerves somewhat, showing she still had plenty of time to spare. With a shrug, she turned back to Snowflake. “Oh what the hay, sure, why not?”
Entering inside, Derpy was swiftly taken aback by what she saw. If the sign outside was one thing, the stark contrast between the interior and exterior design was a whole other matter altogether. As opposed to the building’s folksy façade, soft, violet lighting darkly lit the inside of Midnight’s Delight, adding at once both an inviting warmth and sensuous edge to the atmosphere. A neat and very well-stocked bar, along with some empty tables, dominated one half of the main floor, while the other half largely consisted of a dance floor and thrust stage. The couple of burlesque poles dotting the stage did not escape the attentive mare’s notice.
Ah, I see, it’s that kind of club. Interesting. I wonder if that means Snowflake’s a… huh, interesting.
From the top of a flight of stairs behind the bar, a silky voice called out, “Snowflake, dear, who’ve you brought with you into our lovely establishment today, hmmm?”
An earth pony mare descended the stairs towards the two. She was considerably older than either Derpy or Snowflake, possibly in the twilight of her midlife, but she was strikingly good-looking for her age. Her coat was the same violet hue as the lighting inside, she had a wavy, stylish magenta mane and tail, and a simple, silver chain necklace complimented both nicely. But it was really her comportment from whence her allurement truly resonated; she wholly carried herself in a way which Derpy could only describe as elegantly inviting. It reminded her of the polished movements Rarity typically displayed about town, but like the club itself, there was a voluptuous air to it all, as though she were silently insisting, “Come hither, if you dare.”
Sauntering up to the two, she flashed a warm smile at Derpy. “Hello, dear. Welcome to Midnight’s Delight, where delight is your right. I’m the owner of this den of a million pleasures, Midnight Marvel. What can I do for you?”
Tearing her gaze away from wandering about the club, Derpy replied, “Oh, uh, sorry. I’m just here to drop off some mail. Oh, but where are my manners? I’m Derpy, Derpy Hooves.”
“Derpy Hooves? Now where have I heard tha- oh yes, of course, you’re Cloud’s friend!”
Of course she knows Cloud. I can only imagine how much time she’s spent at a place like this. But hey, I suppose it’s a good thing if it has her seal of approval… maybe. She does have pretty high standards after all, won’t go to just any old sketchy place. Well, most of the time anyways.
“Welcome, welcome, welcome, it’s so good to finally meet you! Any friend of Cloud’s is a friend of mine. I must say, however, you’re a bit more toned than I’d imagined you’d be.” Midnight’s eyes drifted to her backside, eliciting a fierce blush from Derpy. Something about an older mare commenting on her derriere seemed even stranger than one of her best friends doing so on a regular basis. Maybe she was just used to it by now with Cloud; now there was a worrying thought.
“Yeah… well, anyways, Snowflake here got me out of a bit of a jam and has been kind enough to show me around a bit. Most everything south of the Smith River wasn’t here last time I was in town, you see.”
Midnight nodded understandingly. “Of course, of course, a most marvelous idea indeed, Snowflake!” she said approvingly. “I always encourage my employees to be good neighbors. After all, it’s important making a good impression and keeping up appearances in a small town like this.”
“Wow, that’s very candid of you,” Derpy admitted, to which Midnight simply shrugged.
“I’m a businessmare my dear, and I make no apologies about it. Now don’t get me wrong, I’d want to be a good neighbor wherever I lived no matter what, but a mare in my position can’t ignore the incentives for being one either. Happy neighbors mean happy customers and more of ‘em. That’s the type of business model I will always get behind.”
“Seems it works out for ya pretty well,” Derpy said. “You’ve got a really nice place here. At least, I think it is, but I could be wrong since I don’t go to that many clubs and bars. And wow, sorry, I hope that did not sound insulting in any way.”
Luckily, Midnight just laughed it off, waving a reassuring hoof. “Oh my dear, think nothing of it. In my line of work, you quickly get used to patrons who’ve never been to a place like this, especially in a town like Ponyville. You’re hardly the first nervous mare I’ve ever had in my establishment. Now then, as long as you’re here, would you care for a drink?”
Derpy shook her head. “No thanks, it’s a bit early for me, especially considering I’m still on the clock. Speaking of which, do you know which of your employees are in right now? I’m a mailmare, and Snowflake thought it might be a good idea for me to drop some of my mail off to whoever’s in right now.”
“Certainly! Snowflake, be a dear and fetch this week’s work schedule from my office.” Snowflake trotted up the stairs, leaving Derpy alone with Midnight. “Sure I can’t tempt you with a drink on the house? I make a mean daiquiri.”
“That’s really nice of you, but I’ll have to take you up on it some other time,” Derpy maintained. “I haven’t technically landed this job yet and need to be on my best behavior today. Hopefully if I do well enough, you’ll be seeing a lot more of me around here.”
“Well that’s a relief. The postal service has been awfully shoddy on this side of the river to date,” Midnight groused. “Not that I entirely blame them for that. Things are, in a word, chaotic around here, to say the least.”
“Yeah?”
“Mhmm,” Midnight nodded, producing a glass and bottle of whiskey from behind the bar and pouring herself a drink. “This part of town is hot right now. In some ways, too hot. You got some folks like me who just want to make an honest living, but then there’s a whole mess of scoundrels around here who’ll do anything to make a bit. And I do mean anything.”
If they’re anything like those jerks earlier, I can see how that’d be a problem.
Derpy grabbed a seat at the bar while Midnight slowly sipped her drink. A few minutes later, a commotion came from upstairs and Snowflake shortly emerged with some papers and something else rather unexpected held aloft in her telekinetic magic.
“Well, well, well, look what I found scrounging around your office, Midnight,” she announced, smirking as a small pegasus colt squirmed in the grasp of her magic.
“Lemme go, c’mon, lemme go!” the colt protested.
“No doubt trying to find your secret stash of sweets, as usual,” she said, chuckling.
Midnight snorted and Derpy couldn’t hold back a laugh either at the ridiculous sight. “Yours?” she asked.
“Nah, Firecracker’s, Snowflake’s older sister,” Midnight replied. “Oh Silver, Silver, Silver, what in Equestria am I going to do with you?” The colt ceased his struggling momentarily to grin sheepishly at Midnight with the most endearing smile he could muster.
“Uh, let me go and not tell mom about this?” he suggested.
“Oh you are such a treat sometimes,” Midnight said.
“So you’ll do it?” he asked hopefully.
“Yeah, no,” Midnight said, shaking her head. “Although I could be convinced to see your side of things if, say, you sweetened the deal for me.”
The colt bit his lip, in deep thought. “Ummm… would you let me go and not tell mom for a hug?” Midnight rolled her eyes. “A really, really big hug?”
“Tell you what. You Pinkie promise to help your mom with chores around your place more, and I won’t tell. Sound fair?”
“Awww sheesh, do I have to?” Midnight and Snowflake nodded in unison, and the colt groaned in exasperation, finally conceding as only an outmaneuvered colt could. “Fine.”
“Go on,” Midnight pressed.
“I promise to help mom around the house more. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye,” he grumbled, going through the motion familiar to ponies all over Ponyville.
“Good boy. And remember, if you break it, she’ll know,” Midnight warned forebodingly. “Alright Snowflake, you can drop him.” Snowflake released her nephew from her magical grasp and he promptly scampered off, no doubt searching for new mischief to get up to as befit a colt his age. Derpy chuckled at the conclusion of the exchange.
“You know about Pinkie promises?”
“I’m surprised you even have to ask,” Midnight remarked. “After all, you’ve known Pinkie longer than I have. First thing I learned about this town after the name was that there is no escaping that crazy filly. I’m actually rather worried by the fact that ninety-percent of her behavior doesn’t even faze me anymore. Anyway, here’s today’s work schedule.”
“Thanks.” Derpy scanned the schedule and removed whatever mail she could. As she was doing so, the now-unfettered colt trotted up to where she was sitting.
After a moment, he suddenly asked, “What’s wrong with your eyes?”
“Silver, rude! Where are your manners?” Snowflake exclaimed, scolding her nephew. Derpy, however, wasn’t fazed in the slightest, and was actually rather pleased with his observation.
Alright, good, must be crossing the eyes pretty well if he noticed. Celestia bless colts and their inability to keep their big mouths shut.
Waving a placating hoof, Derpy said, “It’s OK, don’t worry about it. Truth be told they’ve been like that for as long as I can remember. Kinda what a lot of ponies know me for around here. Don’t worry, though, I can see just fine.”
Snowflake nodded. “Alright, if you say so, but that still doesn’t excuse you, mister,” she said, still scowling at Silver. “When your mom gets here we’re gonna have a nice, long chat about picking your words carefully.”
“Aw c’mon, aunty, we have a deal!” Silver protested, but Snowflake simply chuckled.
“I don’t recall our deal covering every way you get yourself in trouble,” she slyly remarked.
That drew a rather adorable pout from Silver. “So where’s your mom work anyway?” Derpy asked, still sorting through mail.
“Oh she’s not at work. She’s probably with her friend,” Silver answered.
“Her friend, huh. Who’s that?”
“Mister Foggy.”
Midnight let out an annoyed grunt and, out of the corner of her eye, Derpy noticed her pouring herself another drink with a very noticeable grimace fixed on her face. “Yeah, friend, now there’s a word for it,” she muttered to herself.
Her curiosity piqued, Derpy decided to press Silver to learn more. “What kind of a friend is this Mister Foggy, huh, Silver?”
“Well, he’s OK, I guess,” Silver replied. “He’s real nice to mommy and gets me and her all sorts of nice things. But Miss Midnight doesn’t seem to like him too much.”
Midnight snorted indignantly. “I never said I didn’t like him,” she said defensively.
“But I hear you and mommy yelling about him a lot,” Silver countered.
“Silver, why don’t you go back upstairs and finish your homework befo– oh, well speak of the devil, look who’s back!” she remarked. Glancing over her shoulder, Derpy espied a pegasus entering the club. She was a beautiful mare, with the same bright orange coat as Silver had, but also a curly and well-kempt mane and tail with fiery orange and ruby red streaks. She seemed positively radiant, and it wasn’t just her looks that made it so; bedecked in very expensive-looking jewelry, she exuded a carefree confidence as she strode towards the group.
“There he is, there’s my little Silver Sunrise!” she exclaimed, scooping Silver up into her hooves. While he squirmed in her grip as any colt his age would in the “embarrassingly” public embrace of his mother, she held fast and showered kisses upon his cheeks and silver mane as only a mother who didn’t care how much she was embarrassing her son in front of others could.
“Mom, stop it! Bleh, you’re getting cooties all over me, what if my friends walk in? Mom! Mom!!!” Finally relenting her grip upon him, Silver wriggled out of his mother’s grasp and rubbed his cheeks with a hoof in disgust, as if he were trying to wipe some foul substance from them. His mother in turn dug through a saddlebag resting on her back, eventually producing what appeared to be some sort of superhero toy.
“Look what mommy got you, sweetie.” Silver’s eyes lit up and he quickly got over his mother’s overt displays of affection.
“Woah, is that the new Mistress Mare-velous action figure complete with limited edition lasso?”
“The one and only.”
“Awesome!!!” Silver bounced up to grab it, but his mother kept it just out of his reach.
“Ah, ah, ah, first things first, young stallion. Is your homework done yet?” she asked.
“Well… kinda,” Silver sheepishly replied.
“Kinda?” A skeptical, raised eyebrow was all Silver needed to see to know his mom wasn’t buying it for a second.
“Ugh, fine, I’ll go do it. Then can I play?” he asked sullenly.
“Of course, sweetie. Now run along, and don’t just fill in whatever, really do your homework. Remember, I’ll know if you weren’t trying,” she warned. Silver dragged himself upstairs, but as soon as he was out of sight, Midnight snickered.
“Nice going, hon, you’re getting pretty good at the whole ‘parental-bargaining’ thing,” she remarked.
“Thanks. Figure I might be able to get him to eat all his dinner tonight too if I play my cards right,” she said half-jokingly. Turning to Derpy, the mare’s eyes widened in recognition.
“I’m sorry, I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Firecracker, terribly sorry for not noticing you earlier!”
“Derpy Hooves,” Derpy replied. “And no worries, your kid’s more important than little ol’ me. I’m just your friendly neighborhood mailmare. Well, hopefully will be, at least. Anyways, nice to meet you, Firecracker!”
“The pleasure is all mine,” Firecracker assured her. “A mailmare you say, how nice. So what brings you down here today, if I might ask?”
“Your sister brought Derpy by to get to know the neighborhood,” Midnight explained.
“Oh, you know Snowflake? Wonderful. And clearly you already met Midnight and my little bundle of joy, Silver, as well.”
“You got it,” Derpy nodded in affirmation. “Say, that’s a beautiful pearl necklace you got there, where’d you get that?”
Firecracker waved a hoof but blushed bashfully. “You like it? My Foggy just gave it to me today over lunch. Can you believe it? Must’ve cost him a fortune.” At the mere mention of Foggy, Midnight’s mood immediately darkened and she huffed, which did not escape either Derpy or Firecracker’s notice.
“Everything alright, Midnight?” Derpy asked.
“Yeah, of course, fine,” she curtly replied.
Firecracker seemed to ignore her entirely and kept going from where she’d left off, though with the slightest bit of edge in her own voice now. “Yes, Foggy’s been very good to Silver and I since we got together, very good indeed, and I love him for it.”
Midnight snorted and absentmindedly took yet another sip of her rapidly shrinking drink, drawing a heated glare from Firecracker.
Well sounds like somebody doesn’t agree with that assessment. Wonder if Midnight’s just jealous, or if she doesn’t like this Foggy fella. And if she doesn’t like him, why doesn’t she?
Just as Firecracker was about to respond to Midnight’s very evident disdain, a new voice spoke up from the front of the club, one which Derpy recognized, much to her surprise. “Well hello, Miss Hooves, fancy seeing you here!” All three mares turned to find none other than Time Turner.
“Oh, hi Time. What are you doing here?” Derpy asked.
“I could ask you the same thing,” he said matter-of-factly.
She shrugged as nonchalantly as she could, though her face turned the slightest tint of red given the particular location he’d found her in. “Oh, just getting to know the neighborhood while doing some deliveries, you know how it goes.”
“Oh, you’re a mailmare?”
“Was. Trying to get my old job back and it turns out they could use an extra hoof to help with the South Side, so, here I am. Figured I’d give my hooves a bit of a break and get to know some of the folks around here. Speaking of which, Time, this is Midnight Marvel and Firecracker.” Both mares smiled and Midnight stepped out from behind the bar to greet Time.
“A pleasure to make your acquaintance. I’m Midnight Marvel, owner of this fine establishment. Now, who might you be, handsome, and what can I do for you?” she said whilst batting her eyes, her voice smooth as Appleloosan whiskey.
For his part, Time just smirked. “Oh, you’re not gonna like it,” he assured her, producing his badge and eliciting a scowl from Midnight.
“You’re a cop! Hold on a minute, I run a perfectly legitimate business here,” she contended defensively.
Time waved a hoof, returning his badge to his saddlebag. “Relax, relax, I’m not vice. I don’t even think this town has a vice squad to be honest. I’m a detective, ma’am, and new in town. I’ll be doing a lot of work in the South Side and like Miss Hooves over there, I thought it’d be apt to explore around and get to know some of the ponies living here. My chief, Commissioner Gust, assured me that your club was a good place to start. As I recall, his exact words were, and I quote, ‘Midnight’s a decent sort, and certainly the first mare you’d want to get to know over there.’ So that’s why I’m here, ma’am; I want to do right by Ponyville’s residents, all of them, and that means getting to know you and the South Side. Would you be so kind, then, to indulge some questions of mine?”
Midnight seemed to struggle internally for a moment but finally gave a sharp nod, downing the last of the drink she still held. “Alright, alright, we can talk. Gust’s been pretty good to us, so if he sent you, I guess you must be okay. Let’s go back to my office. It was nice meeting you Derpy, sorry I have to cut our visit short.”
“No worries, I gotta get back to my deliveries anyway. Thanks for letting me rest my hooves here, and I hope to see you around. Same to you, Firecracker, and tell your sister I said thanks, she’ll know what for. Have a good day, everypony!” Springing from her seat, Derpy trotted for the exit, giving one last, friendly wave to the others as she left.
“A good day to you as well, Miss Hooves!” Time called.
Now it was Time’s turn to blush. “Er, of course Miss– I mean, Derpy. Have a nice day, yes, you do that now and I’m… gonna try to stop being a total spaz and come off as something resembling professional at the very least. I hope.” His ear’s flattened in embarrassment as Derpy left Midnight’s Delight still laughing, but Midnight seemed to enjoy his loss of composure.
“Oh don’t be so formal, detective, I’m certainly not. Come on then, step into my office. I’ll tell you what’s what and who’s who around here.”
“Sure I can’t interest you in some carnations?” Lily asked.
“Nope.”
“How about fuchsia, it’s got quite a kick to it!” Daisy offered.
“Nah, I’m good.”
“Marigolds, we’ve got plenty of marigolds!” Roseluck emphasized.
“Girls, I told you, I’m fine!” Carrot Top insisted in annoyance to the trio of sisters, despite knowing she’d immediately regret it.
“Oh, this is a disaster, a disaster!”
“Simply awful, awful, awful!”
“Whatever shall we do?”
The mares swiftly descended into a panic around Carrot’s vegetable stand while she just stood there, an unamused, stony expression etched upon her face.
Dear Celestia, why me? Why did I ever set up shop so close to the Flower sisters? Every time these girls have some extra flowers they always, always insist I buy some before anypony else since I’m right next door. And every time I say no, they do this!
In a last ditch effort to calm down the mares ever-so-prone to hysterics, Carrot suddenly blurted out, “Uh, I could use some sage if you’ve got some.”
“We’re all out of sage!” Lily moaned, and her sisters promptly renewed their wailing as well.
“Oh for Pete’s sake, girls, it’s just a little bit of overstock, it’s not the end of the world! Sheesh, get a hold of yourself,” she demanded. The sisters calmed down, but glared angrily at Carrot.
“Well, I never,” Daisy huffed. “There’s no need to lose your cool like that, Carrot. If you’re having a bad day, just tell us. Come on, girls, we don’t need this drama.” The three stomped away, leaving a bewildered Carrot who just stood behind her stand straight as an arrow, one of her eyes now twitching involuntarily.
I just… I… what? You know what, buck it, I’m packing up. Been a long day, I’ve got a shift at the Hay Burger in a few hours, and I do not need any more of that, thank you very much.
Carrot hastily began packing her unsold produce into a cart next to her stand, in no mood to put up with anypony else’s shenanigans for the day even though she knew that’s exactly what awaited her later that evening. Just as she was loading her last bucket of carrots, something slammed into her with what felt like the force of a hurricane. Two hooves wrapped around her trunk and hoisted her into the air, squeezing her as tight as a boa constrictor.
While she overcame her shock at what she could only assume was an assault, a voice cried out, “Carrot, I got it, I got it Carrot! I got it! I got it!”
Recognizing the exuberant voice, Carrot barely managed to gasp out, “Derpy… put… me down. Can’t… can’t breathe.” Getting a hold of herself, Derpy gently released her friend and set her back down on solid ground.
After taking a few gulps of precious air, Carrot moaned, “Ohhhhh, my poor ribs.”
“Heheh, sorry about that, guess I got a bit carried away,” a sheepish Derpy said.
Carrot waved a dismissive hoof. “Forget it. Now, what’s all this then? What exactly did you get?”
Derpy perked up once more, practically bouncing where she stood. “The job, I got the job!” It took a moment to register with Carrot, but as she processed what Derpy was telling her, her eyes widened.
“Wait, seriously? When?”
“Not five minutes ago! You’re looking at Ponyville’s newest-former-but-now-rehired mailmare. You should have seen the look on Postmark’s face when I got back with two hours to spare, it was priceless! I don’t think I’ve ever seen any pony’s jaw drop so low, he could barely even get a word out. I doubt he thought anyone could deliver all that mail in one day, but I did it, I did it, I did it! Hey, where’re you going?”
“Wait here,” Carrot said. Without another word, she left her loaded cart with Derpy and headed straight for the Hay Burger adjacent to the marketplace. About ten seconds after she trotted inside, an earsplitting, jubilant, “I QUIT!!!” rang out, drowning out all commotion in the marketplace and drawing more than a few concerned and curious gazes.
Carrot immediately reappeared, trotting back over to Derpy with quite the bounce in her step. “Wow, that felt even better than I’d fantasized it would,” she remarked, sounding as though a great load had been lifted from her shoulders.
“Been waiting to do that for a while, huh?” Derpy said, grinning.
“Derpy, you don’t even know. Thank you, though, so very much. You have no idea how much I needed that. Come on, let’s go home, I’ll fix us up something real nice for dinner,” Carrot promised, strapping her cart’s harness to her trunk before the two started making their way back to their cottage. “So you had a pretty good day, I imagine, yes?”
“Yes indeed,” Derpy said, beaming. “Oh it’s good to be back. I’ll have to tell you all about it over dinner. And you’ll have to tell me about the South Side.”
Carrot raised a curious eyebrow. “Why?”
“Well I’ll be working there, I mean, that’s why Postmark rehired me. With all the new ponies in town, he needs more hooves to carry the extra work load. But I’d be lying if I said that were the only reason.”
“It’s not?” Carrot wondered, and Derpy shook her head but said nothing for a few minutes, as though contemplating where to go next with this conversation. “Well go on, spit it out,” Carrot finally urged.
“It’s just… something you said the other day, when I got back. You mentioned there being lots of new faces around town, but also lots of new problems. I think after seeing the South Side, I know what you meant by that, at least somewhat. There’s something definitely… off about that place.”
“But why do you want to know more?”
“I don’t know,” Derpy admitted. “I met some ponies who live there. There’s some good ones over there, no doubt about it, but there’s more than a few bad eggs, as well. There’s also a… I don’t know, an air of foreboding about the whole place. Most of the ponies I saw over there seemed to be trying to stay inconspicuous as possible, and those who didn’t seemed to be making sure the rest stayed that way. It just didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel like a place ponies want to live.”
Carrot didn’t say anything for a while but gave a small nod. “Well you’re not exactly wrong,” she finally said. “Ask any decent folk around here, I’m sure they’d tell you one and all that that place is bad news. But that still doesn’t tell me why you want to know more.”
Derpy simply shrugged. “I just… it just bugs me, OK? Doesn’t sit right. I’ve just got to know more so I can, I don’t know… I just want to know more, that’s all. It’s our home, and it wasn’t like this when I left. I need to know what happened, how it happened.”
Carrot frowned, but also nodded in understanding. “Alright, I hear you. I’ll tell you what I can over dinner. I owe you that much for restoring a little bit of my sanity and helping me quit that awful job.”
“Thanks Carrot.”
They arrived at their cottage a few minutes later when Derpy suddenly put a hoof to her forehead. “Oh horsefeathers, I completely forgot! I gotta go see someone, Carrot, I won’t be long. Mind getting started on dinner without me?”
Her friend shook her head rather emphatically. “Oh, trust me, I wasn’t planning on letting you anywhere near my kitchen! Even if you’d spent a hundred years in the mountains, I don’t think I would; I’ve seen what you do to food, my dear.”
“Har har, very funny.”
“Go on, do what you gotta do,” Carrot said. “Oh, and tell her I said hi.”
Derpy smiled softly. “Thanks Carrot, will do.”
“Hey. Long time no see, right? Well, not really I guess. I mean, I know you’re always with me, but it’s… it’s different being back here, ya know? I’m sure you’d understand.”
A cool, early spring breeze blew past Derpy atop the hill she stood upon, nipping her coat just the tiniest bit. The sole shelter afforded to her was a single, mature apple tree, its buds on the verge of blooming any day now, as they had for the past eighteen years.
“Things are going pretty well. Got my job back, connected with some old friends, made some new ones. Carrot says hi, by the way. All in all, things are really good.”
For a second, Derpy almost believed it. Almost managed to convince herself that things were just fine. Almost.
“Well… no, that’s not true. Nothing’s terrible, but, something feels wrong still. Some of it’s home, for sure, there’s definitely something going on around here. I don’t know what, but it stinks. It’s not just that, though. It’s me, too. I can’t pretend the last year didn’t happen, can’t live a lie and just try to get back to the way things were. That’s not enough anymore, not now, not after everything. Maybe that’s why I want to know what’s wrong around here. Maybe I think I can help. If I can, who am I not to? You wouldn’t hold back if there was a way you could help someone. Not your style, never was. So why should I? How can I?”
Derpy sat upon her haunches in deep contemplation, the sun just beginning to steadily lower as evening drew ever nearer. Ponies were retiring to their homes for the evening or out and about grabbing a bite to eat, though noticeably the South Side itself appeared to be becoming more animated. She ignored that though for the time being, soaking up the abundance of peace and quiet she so enjoyed every time she visited. Finally, taking a deep breath, she let out a sedate sigh.
“I think I’m past the point where I can see a situation like this going on and do nothing. And I’m actually OK with that. In fact there’s… a flame inside. It’s been growing, and I know it. I tempered it for a little bit while I got home and got things straightened out here, but it’s still there, and it’s not going away. Seeing this, now, what’s going on at home, it’s going to grow again, I just know it. I can’t fight it, and I don’t want to. But I can’t let it consume me. I can’t just feed it, I’ve got to control it. Let it fuel my drive, not destroy me.”
Whatever happens, I want you to know that I’m not going to throw away everything you gave me. But I won’t watch my home struggle against something I might be able to help with. I won’t do nothing if it needs me. It needed you, and you laid down your life for it. If it comes to it, Celestia forbid, I’d be willing to do the same, but I won’t let it come to that. I’ll be better than this, whatever it is that’s infested my home. I’ll be better than it and anything else that gets thrown my way. I can be better than it, and I will, because anything less than my best is unacceptable. I’m not there yet, but I will be. I’ve just gotta be patient, watch, learn, prepare, and act. Yeah… that ought to do it.”
For a while longer she sat in deep thought, considering her next course of action. She could visualize the roadmap before her, what she needed to do, but what lay at the end of it was still a mystery. It would come to her, though, she was sure of it, in due time it would come. She just had to find it.
“Love you mom, good talking with you. Hope the stars shine bright tonight, for ya.” Taking one last, long look at her headstone, Derpy turned and slowly descended the hill where her mother still rested, the sun just dipping below the horizon as she reached the bottom. Letting out a contented sigh, she slowly walked back home, relishing the time she had along the way to be alone with her thoughts.
Cold. It was so cold, and dark. The groggy mare wondered if her eyes were even open as she tried to figure out where she was, so impenetrable was the darkness. How had she gotten here, she wondered? The last thing she remembered was packing her bags to leave town before everything went dark.
She lifted herself up to try and better regain her bearings, but the sound of metal chains scraping against stone dispelled that notion. Lifting her hooves, she quickly realized her hind legs were shackled and chained to the floor, and that sent a wave of panic crashing over her. Someone had brought her here, she realized, and whoever they were they wanted her to stay put.
Still trying to comprehend what was happening to her, her breath caught in her chest when the sound of hoofsteps on stone suddenly pealed out in the darkness and grabbed her full attention. The steps grew louder and louder, clearly drawing nearer, and she backed away from them as far as her chains would allow. Then, just when it seemed they were mere feet away, the steps came to a grinding halt.
For a moment there was nothing but the sounds of her breathing. She couldn’t hear anything, anything at all in front of her. Finally, unsure what else to do, she quietly whispered, “H-hello. Is someone there? Please, I… whatever you want, I’ll give you whatever I can, just please don’t hurt me. I… please. Please, let me go. Why am I here? What… what did I do?”
Silence. Nothing but silence. That in and of itself was almost unbearable. Whatever happened next, she just wanted to know, needed to know at this point who was doing this to her, why. Everything unknown was just as bad as the situation she was in, and even more unnerving. But she dared not speak again, just as fearful of what might happen if she did. It seemed whoever was before her figured this out and soon decided to break the oppressive silence instead.
“I wonder… are you afraid?”
“Wh-what? Of course I am!” she said somewhat indignantly, shocked that was even a question. Her captor, however, chuckled at her response before falling silent once more. He didn’t stay silent for long.
“No. No, you’re not afraid. Not yet,” he assured her. “What you’re feeling is merely a base, animal instinct that so many others in your exact situation would also feel. But you’re not really afraid.”
She had no idea what he meant by that, but most certainly dreaded finding out.
“No, my dear, we need to peel layer upon layer of your psyche to get to that, I’m afraid,” he said. “Though I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t looking forward to it.”
The mare started pulling at her chains as hard as she could, hoping beyond hope that by some miracle they might break and she might escape this nightmare. When that didn’t work, she braced herself for the final blow, squeezing her eyes shut, but nothing came. Nothing save for a small puff of air directly in front of her face.
She blinked rapidly. She couldn’t understand why nothing had happened. The darkness and silence were all she could sense, but she knew, she just knew that he was still there as well.
Then, a near imperceptible scratching in the back of her mind. She barely noticed it, but she did catch it nonetheless. Something… something moving in the deepest, darkest recesses of her subconscious. A glow came, but it didn’t really pierce the darkness. Rather, it seemed to come from her, spreading, threatening to engulf her, and as it spread so too did a burning sensation.
She looked down at her hooves and to her terror saw them bathed in flames. No, not just them. Everything. Everything flames. Her coat, her mane, tail, and wings, all aflame, all burning, all pain.
“Oh gosh… oh gosh, it’s everywhere!” she screamed. “No please, stop! Make it stop! It hurts, it hurts so much! The burning, the flames, please, please, please mister, put them out. Someone, anyone, please, make it stop! No no no no no, Celestia please, nooooo!!! Help me!!!”
She thrashed on the floor, but nothing took them away. They climbed higher, and higher, and higher and soon it seemed the whole room was aflame, but the darkness remained. An entire room filled to the brim with darkness and fire and her screams.
Her captor watched her display silently, breathing in deeply as she began to writhe and wail. “Hmmm… pyrophobia, I see. Fascinating.”
He closed his eyes, soaking in the sound of her screams. Even as her voice became hoarse, still she cried for help, for release, for death. But nothing came except a never-ending cascade of terror.
“Just kill me, please! Make it all go away, I don’t care how! Please! Please! Please!!!”
He smiled at the music to his ears. A beautiful, wonderful harmony of horror. Taking another deep breath, he shuddered in ecstasy, finally uttering, “Thank you, my dear, thank you. This has all been very educational, and your fear is absolutely… delicious.”
“So how’d your meeting with Midnight go yesterday?”
“Oh, it was fine.”
“That’s it? Just ‘fine’?”
“Well she’s certainly a pleasant enough mare to talk to, it’s just… it’d be nice if she was in a different line of business.”
Derpy raised an eyebrow, noting the hint of disapproval expressed by Time as she took a sip of her coffee. She’d hoped they might run into each other again, and thankfully it seemed he’d taken a fancy to Sugarcube Corner. He’d also taken a fancy to muffins, if the blueberry one he was presently munching on was anything to go by.
Alright, prod him, but carefully. Time might be a valuable source of information, to a certain extent. Only one way to find out, and Midnight’s as good a place to start as any.
“What line of business is she in exactly?” she asked.
Time scoffed. “Oh c’mon, you were there, don’t tell me you don’t know!”
Derpy offered a casual shrug in return. “I don’t go to clubs that much, so I wouldn’t know what goes on there. I do know, though that we already had some in town when I left, and those weren’t a problem. So what’s wrong with Midnight’s Delight?”
Time chewed his lip in thought for a moment but eventually continued. “Ah what the hay, you’ll be seeing her plenty anyway, might as well. I’m sure plenty of other ponies around town know already. OK, well, Midnight’s girls… I’m pretty sure they do a little bit more than dancing, if you know what I mean.”
Recognition dawned on Derpy’s face. “Oh, I see. So… she’s a sex trafficker. Isn’t that illegal?”
To her surprise, Time shook his head. “There’s the rub of it all, she’s technically not in a legal sense. None of her workers actually sell sexual services; anything they do with patrons of a sexual nature is during their off-hours, on their own time, and of their own choice. Legally, they’re just having sex, and that’s perfectly lawful.”
“OK, so what’s the problem?”
“The problem is she’s using a loophole and implicitly selling sex. Money’s still coming in, but it’s not spent on mares, it’s spent on rooms which patrons rent for the night. The girls get to decide whether or not they want to spend the night with any patrons renting rooms, at least that’s what Midnight maintains. Says it ensures customers don’t cross any boundaries but I’m not sure I buy that. Sounds too easy to be true.”
Leaning back in her seat, Derpy stared at the ceiling, turning all this over in her mind.
It sure does. Then again, doesn’t seem like Midnight’s style. I may not know her too well, but everything I saw yesterday, it was genuine, the real deal, I’m sure of it.
“I don’t think she’s trying to pull the wool over your eyes or anything,” she finally concluded. “Midnight seems decent enough, at least from what I can tell so far. A little rough around the edges, sure, but I didn’t get a bad vibe from her yesterday. Certainly not like I got from some other parts of the South Side. All things considered, her club’s one of the nicer places in the whole neighborhood.”
“She’s still letting her employees sort of sell sex,” Time countered.
“Maybe, maybe. But it sounds to me like she’s trying her best to make sure no harm comes to them. I mean, just think of what they’d be doing at some of the other clubs around there. Have you seen some of those places? Scary. My skin crawled just looking at some of them.”
“Fair enough, but it’s still one technicality away from being prostitution.”
“Look, I’m not crazy about anyone doing… that for a living. But as long as they’re staying safe, I don’t see what the problem is. Horsefeathers, it’s not like that’s even completely unheard of in Equestria, we’ve got some legal brothels here and there. I know on good authority that the Kicker Clan operates a number of them for their own clan members, all sanctioned by the crown itself.”
Time seemed to mull that last point over for several moments before speaking again. “I get it, she’s not doing anything illegal, and maybe she does have the best of intentions for her workers. Maybe she really does give them full agency in deciding who they want to sleep with. However, it’s a dangerous game she’s playing. Sex work always is, any of it, especially when you don’t exactly have a stand-up clientele to service. Her patrons might be playing by her rules now, but who’s to say they always will?”
Derpy nodded understandingly. “I’m not crazy about it either, really. I mean, this is all new to me; I have no idea how places like that usually turn out in the long run. I just think you shouldn’t be so quick to judge Midnight and give her a chance is all. Get to know her, her business, her employees, before you pass judgment. We’re working in the South Side, you and I, and while our line of work may be different, it doesn’t hurt to have friends in a neighborhood like that. I’ll reserve my final judgment until I’ve gotten to know her better, so how ‘bout it?”
Time chuckled, shaking his head and flashing a wry smile. “Listen to you. You ought to be in law enforcement with a take-charge attitude like that, Derpy.” He downed the last of his muffin and washed it down with a sip of coffee. “But you’re right, we do need friends in a place like that. Heaven knows there’s already enough characters over there who don’t like me, why add to the list, right? All right, I’ll give her a chance; I’m still worried about how safe she can really keep her girls, but you raised some fair points. Besides, she’s the least of my concerns for the time being.”
Derpy studied Time from the corner of her eye as he scanned a newspaper in front of him, hesitant to pursue the thought currently on her mind but eventually opting to go for it. “Foggy Trotter by any chance one of those concerns?” she asked.
Time didn’t look up from his paper, but gave a flick of his ear at Derpy’s inquiry. “Why do you ask?”
“Well, Carrot mentioned him last night a few times when she was telling me about the new neighborhood. Didn’t have too many nice things to say about him.”
“Probably because there aren’t many nice things to say about him,” Time replied matter-of-factly.
“You say that like you know it,” Derpy observed.
Time nodded. “This isn’t my first time running into Foggy. He’s gotten around quite a bit in his day, and he’s never had a flattering reputation anywhere he’s gone. So stay away from the likes of him on your rounds, OK? He’s bad news.”
“Will do, but don’t worry, I can take care of myself,” she assured him.
“I’m sure you can, but better to avoid needless trouble in the first place than having to fend it off, am I right? Why are you so interested in him, anyway?”
Play it cool, Derpy, play it cool.
“Like I said, Carrot mentioned him a few times. That and he’s dating Firecracker. Seems like a lot of ponies around here have something to say about him, and since I’m still playing catch up on things around here, I figured you might know a thing or two about a guy like that.”
Time frowned. “Who’s Firecracker?” he asked, furrowing his brow.
“One of Midnight’s employees. Or, maybe just a friend, I don’t know, I guess she didn’t really tell me if she worked there or not. Orange pegasus, stunning good looks, ring a bell?”
“Oh, her!” Time said, recognition dawning on his face. “I think I remember seeing her yesterday but I don’t believe we were introduced. Kinda slipped out while I was meeting with Midnight. She’s dating Foggy, you say?”
“Seems that way.”
“Now that’s a dangerous game. Might have to have a talk with this Firecracker, if she’ll have me. If nothing else, she might be able to tell me something interesting.”
They made some more small talk after that for a little while longer. Ponies periodically came up to either welcome Derpy back or introduce themselves to Time; when a couple of police officers dropped by to pick up some snacks, the detective excused himself and joined them, making sure to wish Derpy a pleasant day before he left. Left alone, Derpy sat a few minutes more, collecting her thoughts.
I vouched for Midnight, but I’m gonna keep an eye on her. I’ve got to get to know her and her business better before I can say with certainty that she’s not taking advantage of her girls. Hopefully not, but hey, need to be sure.
For that matter, need to be sure about a lot of things. Time’s gonna be a good source going forward, but I can’t lean on him alone for info. I have to keep my ear to the ground, eyes wide open, before I do anything. Look, listen, and learn, look, listen, and learn. Right now, I could take action, but it wouldn’t get me anywhere; with the right knowledge, however, I can make an educated and informed action, and that might just be able to effect some real change.
Do it right. Do it right. Do it right. Do it right, Derpy, or don’t do anything at all.
“Hey there, mom, nice day today, huh?” Derpy remarked to the marble slab on the hillside. Setting her saddlebags full of mail down, she lay down beside her mother’s resting place and retrieved a sandwich bundled in plastic wrap from one of the bags. It was indeed a nice day, as picturesque as it ever got in Ponyville; the countryside lay bathed in the sun’s rays, birds chirped and critters scurried about, and all around the vibrant signs that spring was in full swing blossomed forth upon all manner of plant life. Yet, bright and beautiful as the sight was, troublesome concerns darkened Derpy’s thoughts.
Yeah, it sure is gorgeous; the model, picture perfect portrait of the quaint little town. But that’s all it is, isn’t it? A false image, a gleaming surface covering murky depths.
These were not the thoughts of an unceasingly cynical mind. In the month that’d passed since she’d returned, Derpy had learned plenty to warrant her concerns. Passing from one day to the next, moving about town as she did her job, made new friends and reconnected with old ones, on the surface it seemed like Derpy was falling into old, familiar routines with a few modifications to them. But like her home’s glistening exterior, she too had a fraudulent façade of her own.
Carefully, quietly, she’d been watching from the wings and listening from the eaves all over town, whenever and wherever she could. Any scrap of information, fearful rumors, gossip on the corner, whispers in the darkness, she’d absorbed. Slowly, like a million pieces in a puzzle coming together, it’d all started to form a cohesive whole.
Scared residents. The newly-arrived poor and destitute being trodden over or taken advantage of by the thugs, punks, and criminals roaming about. But, aside from the really stupid ones, they never got caught. The big troublemakers, the ones who stuck together and answered to Foggy Trotter, they always seemed to squeak on by and did just enough to stay out of the limelight. They had the sensibility to keep a wide berth between themselves and any pony of consequence in this town, especially the Element Bearers.
Intelligence. That’s what’s most disconcerting. Such a deliberate intelligence in what they do, but from these guys… doesn’t make any sense. When they’re not drinking all the cider in town they’re chasing tail or just being plain old bullies. It’s like they’re actually trying to get in trouble with the law, or hoping they do. But they’re too organized. There’s rumors of massive smuggling, but they haven’t gotten caught for anything like that. Nopony’s willing to stand up to them over the million “minor” offenses, not while they’re getting away with the big crimes.
Everyone’s hiding. Hiding something… our problems, our solutions, what we need right now. It’s all hidden away.
I guess that’s the trick, huh? Figuring out how to stop hiding. Stop hiding, step into the light, and drag everyone and everything else into it along with me. The good and the bad, the best and the worst, the ugly and the wonderful in our town.
Only question is… how?
Taking a bite from her sandwich, Derpy gave a sideways glance at her mother’s bevel marker. “What do you think, mom? What would you do?” In thoughtful silence, she pondered upon the words inscribed on the headstone: “Faithful to the end to all.”
“That’d be your way, alright. Doggedly, devoutly doing whatever you could to make things better. But that was your job. You put your talents to use in your work. What do I do with what I can do? How do I put my talents to use?”
She sat quietly for a while longer, slowly eating her sandwich and enjoying the beautiful weather, before noticing a familiar figure making her way up the hill towards her. “Major Gust, what’re you doing here?”
The major, sporting her Royal Guard armor, seemed to think about that a moment as she drew nearer before she answered. “Well I had some business in town today and I thought while I was here that I’d pay a dear old friend a visit,” she replied, indicating towards Ditzy’s resting place. “That and I had heard from Cloud that you’ve been visiting your mother quite a bit lately. Thought I might catch you here.”
“Me? What for?” Derpy asked.
“I wanted to check in on you. After all, that was a condition we established upon your return, was it not? You checking in with me on a regular basis.” Derpy blushed, realizing that with how preoccupied she’d been, she’d completely forgotten to meet with Nimbus once in the month since she’d returned.
“I am so sorry, I honestly completely forgot! Things have just been, well, just a bit hectic is all. That probably sounds like a really lame excuse, huh?” To her relief, the major just waved a dismissive hoof.
“It’s alright, it’s alright, don’t worry about it. Anyone would need some time to adjust after such an extended time away. So… how’ve you been?”
Derpy wolfed down the last few bites of her sandwich before responding. “Pretty good, yeah. Still getting a feel for some of the new ponies and places around here, but I think I’m getting the hang of it.”
An awkward silence hung in the air for some time after that, neither mare apparently certain where they wanted to go from there. “Is, uh, is that about what you wanted to hear?”
Nimbus blinked, seemingly surprised by the question. “I… yes, I suppose so. I guess I should be taking my leave then; it’s not my place to intrude on you while you’re visiting. Good day, Derpy, I’ll… see you around sometime soon, I suppose.” She turned to leave, but Derpy hastily called out to her.
“Wait! Don’t go. You can stay if you want, I don’t mind,” she said.
“Are you sure? I don’t want to impose or anything.”
“Yeah, really. I mean, you came out all this way.”
Nimbus hesitated, but reluctantly relented. “Alright, if you’re sure. Thank you. I do like coming out here when I can.” She trotted up to Derpy’s side, removing her helmet and shaking loose strands of her short mane from her eyes. She didn’t say anything, but that was hardly surprising. Derpy had a feeling that Nimbus wasn’t exactly the type to talk to the dead; she’d always struck her as being very private with many of her feelings and emotions, something she knew accounted for a fair bit of the tension between her and her daughter, Cloud.
Clearing her throat, Derpy spoke up after giving Nimbus some time to contemplatively regard her mother’s gravesite. “So… if you don’t mind my asking, ma’am, what did you really want to see me for? I can’t imagine you hoped to catch me just so you could check in as a formality.”
Nimbus let out a soft chuckle, turning to Derpy once more. “You certainly have your mother’s perceptiveness. Never could hide much from her, myself, she had too keen an eye when it came to reading others. Read me like an open book more than a few times.”
“Well I wouldn’t say I’m that good,” Derpy insisted. “Just figured it stands to reason, is all. When you pulled me aside when I got back a while ago, what was that about? Why were you concerned about how I was doing… ya know, in here?” she asked, pointing a hoof at her heart.
“Can’t a mare worry about the wellbeing of another mare?” Nimbus asked, barely concealing the fact that she was sidestepping the question. Verbal duplicity, however, was clearly not the major’s strong suit, and Derpy pressed on.
“I guess I was just… surprised, is all. The last time you really showed that kind of concern for me was, well, when we buried mom. I’ve kept that with me, make no mistake, and I’m grateful for what you said that day. For what you did. You were there for me when I just needed someone, anyone to be there for me. But that was a long time ago, and not to sound petty or unappreciative, but you haven’t really done anything like that since. So why now?”
Nimbus hung her head and closed her eyes, and Derpy felt a pang of guilt for a split second, fearing she’d been too harsh. The major, however, quickly recovered her composure and stared Derpy steadfastly straight in the eye. “You’re right. I haven’t been there for you. Maybe some would say that wasn’t my place to be in the first place, but it’s a fact that’s brought me a great deal of personal shame and regret in the past year. I wanted to do right by you, to honor your mother’s memory, but it was all too easy to get caught up in so much else. My job. My family. My duties.
“You weren’t my only failure, though, nor my greatest. I failed my daughter, too, forgot what I was supposed to be for her as her mother. Sad that it took almost dying and losing everything for me to realize that. The changeling invasion affected all of us in some way; for me, it brought my many failures to the surface. I’d spent so long putting duty at the center of my life that I’d almost forgotten what made that duty so precious and worthwhile in the first place. It’s those you love, those you share life with, in the good and the bad. Your mother was one of the first to really teach me that, get it through to me, but oh how easily we forget hard lessons learned. I most certainly forgot, and I’ve paid many prices for it.
“They called me a hero of Canterlot. A hero. A hero who almost died while barely on speaking terms with her eldest daughter. A hero who wasn’t living with her husband. A hero who hadn’t been there for her best friend’s daughter while she grew up with neither mother nor father in her life. Some hero, indeed.”
Derpy furrowed her brow. “So it’s… penance, you’re after?” she asked.
“In a manner of speaking, yes,” Nimbus said, nodding. “But more bluntly, I’m after life itself. I’d forgotten what makes life worth living; letting others into your life, and doing right by them by coming into their lives. If I don’t have that, then what do I have? What good is duty and fulfilling it if you have nothing to live for? I want to be there for you, Derpy. When you just need somepony to talk to, someone you no longer have in your mother’s absence, I want to be that someone. I didn’t do right by you before, but I fully intend to change that.”
Derpy gave a small smile and nodded understandingly. “I think I’d like that. My Aunt Dot’s great, but we just don’t get to see each other that much. I didn’t realize you and mom were so close, though.”
“Oh yes,” Nimbus affirmed. “Very close, indeed. She helped me… soften my outlook on life, in my younger days. Learn how to be honest with myself, and open up to and trust others. Not that I even asked her to or anything; I think she simply had a knack for knowing when somepony needed help like that. I was very glad when I learned that Cloud had befriended you at flight camp; I thought she might be able to do more good for you as your friend than I ever could. As your mother had for me.”
“Cloud’s definitely had my back many a time when I needed it. I like to think I’ve been there for her too since, well, she’s certainly had her fair share of rough patches as well.”
“I’m glad,” Nimbus said. “She certainly needed friends like you when… when others failed her.” To say Nimbus’s startling bluntness in this single conversation had taken Derpy off guard would be an understatement. She’d never opened up to Derpy about anything like this, so to hear her being so frank now was surprising, to say the least. Yet looking at her, listening to her, the guilt she genuinely felt was evident in her words and features.
Guess she has her own demons to grapple with, like I did. Only difference is all I needed to fix was me; Nimbus, on the other hoof, has to patch things up with Cloud, and who knows who else in her life.
“Things any better between you two, ya know, since everything with the changelings last year?” she asked.
“Yes and no,” Nimbus replied. “The good news is Tornado and I are living together again and doing very well, and that’s great, especially for little Alula. A young filly needs both of her parents in her life. The bad news is Cloud now resents us for completely different reasons.”
Derpy raised an eyebrow. “How so?”
“Well we tried to make peace with her after the attack, convince her that the past was the past and we were perfectly happy with the life she was leading. That might’ve worked before the changeling invasion, but unfortunately things changed afterward. Cloud was… indisposed during the attack, you see. She got caught in the great hall where the wedding ceremony was to be held. Sure, her father and sister were with her as well, along with practically half of Canterlot, but that didn’t matter to her. She… she blames herself terribly so for not being able to do something, anything during the attack, and I fear that is in large part my own fault. I resented her for so long for leaving West Hoof, for bringing shame to the family, and I made no secret of it. It’s why we’ve been so cold to each other for so many years. Now, that guilt I fear has a firm grip on her, and unfortunately she’s trying to make amends. Cloud’s been trying to rejoin the Guard ever since the attack.”
“What!?” Derpy exclaimed in shock.
“That’s not even the worst of it,” Nimbus continued. “Her father and I have been… pulling some strings to ensure she doesn’t get back into West Hoof. You can guess how that’s been going over with her, I’m sure.”
“Oh perfect. So now she’s mad because you’re stopping her from getting back into the Guard.”
“Exactly. She’s been threatening to simply enlist as a non-commissioned officer, but so far she hasn’t. I think Blossomforth is to thank for that; Tornado and I aren’t the only ones after all who don’t want her to do this.”
“Well that’s good,” Derpy remarked. “Anything I can do to help?”
“As a matter of fact, yes, there is,” Nimbus said. “My husband and I are having dinner at our place tomorrow evening for some family and business associates. Nothing too large, but we’ve been having some trouble convincing Cloud to come. We’d be happy to have you over, and maybe it’d be enough to get Cloud to come as well.”
Derpy considered her proposition for a moment. “I don’t know… I don’t want to make things awkward or anything if this is a formal gathering.”
Nimbus waved a hoof. “Nonsense, you’re one of my daughter’s best friends. That’s close enough as far as I’m concerned. And it’s hardly what I’d call formal; Tornado and I simply want to meet some of my brother’s new officers on the police force. We like to maintain good relations with the local law enforcement since our own work often requires that we collaborate with them. So what do you say?”
New officers, huh? Guess that means Time would be there, and if Cloud and maybe even Blossom come as well, maybe I wouldn’t be that out of place. If it helps Nimbus at all with patching things up with Cloud, I guess it’d be worth it, sure.
“Ah what the hay, sure I’ll come,” she finally answered.
Nimbus’s eyes lit up and she flashed the smallest of smiles, which by Derpy’s judgment meant she must have been elated. “Thank you, that’s very considerate of you. Dinner’s at six o’clock at our new cloud-house just north of town. Here’s the address.” She hoofed over a small business card with the address printed on it. “Please, if you see Cloud, do mention that you’re coming.”
“Don’t worry, we’re working out together later today, I’ll mention it then,” Derpy assured her.
“Wonderful. Well, I’ll see you then, Derpy. Have a nice rest of your day.” Putting her helmet back on, Nimbus took off from where she stood, flying north presumably back to the base where Machwing Company was currently stationed. Derpy looked after her until she was just a dot on the horizon, then turned back to her mother’s headstone.
So you and Cloud’s mom were tight, huh? That’s weird to think about knowing her. But I guess not so much for you. Well, Cloud’s been there for me a lot over the years, and I think Nimbus is trying to as well. If I can be there for them at all, help them out with their own rough patch, I’ll try to do what I can. That’s what friends are for, right?
Picking up her saddlebags, Derpy slung them back over her trunk once more. “Gotta go now, mom. Talk to ya later.”
“What the hay do you think you’re doing? Unless you’re here for drinks or a good time, get out! Boomer, what do I pay ya for, toss these bums out this minute!”
“Sorry Mister Burn, but they, uh–”
“On the contrary, Sunny, this search warrant says I have every right to be here,” Time said, interrupting the flustered bouncer trying his best to placate his fuming boss. Waving the aforementioned warrant in front of Sun Burn’s ever-reddening face, the detective turned to Officers Frost and Flowers. “We’re not leaving until we’ve searched the entirety of Club Crimson Veil and confiscated any evidence indicative of criminal activities, courtesy of Judge Hickory Nut. Bark at him about it all you like, if you want, but I doubt you’ll get anywhere. He was all too happy to authorize the search after the case I made.”
Sun Burn snorted in fury. The diminutive earth pony had a notoriously short fuse, and at the moment looked as red as a ripe tomato and on the verge of spiraling into an uncontrollable rage. While his bouncer and other employees and customers in the vicinity quaked in fear or shared nervous glances, Time simply smirked in amusement. He’d dealt with far worse than irate club managers before, plus he had to set a good example for the officers under his charge. Flowers was still learning the ropes, and while Frost may have been a fairly seasoned veteran for her age, he still had to maintain her trust in his command by remaining in control of the situation.
Alright Time, this could be it, the big break you’ve been looking for. We’ve got them this time, I’m sure of it.
At that exact moment, however, an oily snicker came from behind him; unfortunately, it just so happened to be one which Time was more than a little familiar with. Spinning around, Time found himself face-to-face with none other than Foggy Trotter. There was no mistaking that degenerate, with his teal coat and slicked-back, sickly-green hair, slimy as seaweed. By his side stood a subdued Firecracker, silent as the grave. She didn’t appear particularly thrilled to be there, but whatever she might’ve been thinking at that moment, she kept it to herself. Brushing past Spring Frost and Sun Flowers, Foggy sauntered up to Time, still snickering.
“Well, well, well, Detective Turner. We seem to be seeing more and more of each other lately. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say I have my own personal stalker. You really need a hobby, you know that?”
“My work keeps me busy enough, thanks,” Time tersely replied. “Actually it’s rather fortunate that you’re here. Saves me the trouble of hunting you down in the event that we do find anything of interest.”
“Now why would you be doing that, huh? I’m just a humble business stallion,” Foggy insisted.
“Don’t play dumb, Foggy!” Time spat, getting some spittle on Foggy’s suit. “We all know you own Club Crimson Veil. Sun Burn’s just the manager, so anything we find here goes back to you.”
Annoyance flashed across Foggy’s face. “Watch the suit, Turner. It costs more than you make in two months,” he said, dabbing the lapel of his suit with a handkerchief. “But by all means, search away. I promise you, I’ll take full responsibility for anything untoward you might find in my fine, upstanding establishment. I ain’t going anywhere, so you can cuff me right here and now. If you do find anything, of course.”
A feeling of dread formed in the pit of Time’s stomach. Foggy was acting far too cocky for his liking, and he had a good idea why. But he refused to betray his developing doubts in front of his subordinates or Foggy and his sneering supporters. He wouldn’t give them the satisfaction, even if he had already lost.
“Officer Frost, stay put and keep an eye on things. Officer Flowers, you’re with me; let’s comb this place top to bottom.”
“Well that was a bust,” Spring Frost dryly remarked.
“To be fair, there was an unusually high amount of alcoholic beverages on the premises,” Sun Flowers said. “I don’t know about you, but anyone storing that much alcohol seems pretty fishy to me.”
“Flowers, it’s a nightclub for pity’s sake. Of course there was a lot of booze!” Spring Frost explained, not even trying to conceal her exasperation.
“Oh… yeah, I guess that makes sense,” he conceded, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck.
“Now, now, it’s alright Spring, he’s just trying to help,” Time said. “I know we’re all disappointed things didn’t go as expected, but there’s no need to take out your frustrations on Flowers.”
“I’m sorry, sir, you’re right, it’s just… buck, we had them! I know we had them that time, and they slipped away yet again! Not a single shred of evidence, no drugs, no papers, not so much as one smuggled good. All that work for nothing.”
“I know, I know, it stinks. Gotta keep your chin up, though, officer, and move on. Can’t win ‘em all, but that’s why we press on and take it one day at a time.”
The normally cheery Sun Flowers shook his head, looking rather sullen. “I’m sorry, sir, really. I thought our sources were good this time.”
“They were,” Spring insisted. “They were good sources, they were good tips. We all know what happened. Some feathering snitch spilled the beans.”
“That’s enough, Spring,” Time said.
“But–”
“I said that’s enough, officer! Not here, not now. We’ll discuss this later. For now, call it a day and go home, both of you. Get some rest, clear your heads, and we’ll get back to it tomorrow. And don’t forget, we’ve got dinner with the commissioner tomorrow night, so be on your best behavior, capeesh? He needs to know without a doubt that he can still count on us, even when the going gets tough.”
Both officers relented and nodded, going to their own lockers, even though it was clear Officer Frost was still wound up. Once they’d cleared out from the police station locker room and gone home for the day, Time gave a quick once over to make sure he was alone before dropping his own composure he’d somehow managed to maintain since their search had come up emptyhoofed.
“Nothing. Damn it all to Tartarus, again nothing!” He slammed his locker shut, only now betraying his true frustration. It wouldn’t have done any good to do so in front of those two. Had to keep up appearances, for the sake of his command, for the sake of the mission. Still…
Can’t say I blame Frost. She’s just saying what we’re all feeling, in one way or another. Even Flowers, for all his cheeriness and generally sunny disposition, is starting to get down, I just know it. Who wouldn’t after our track record so far? Three searches, three misses, three humiliations, and everywhere we go there’s that cheeky bastard Foggy Trotter right behind us. He knows I’m out to nail him, and he’s always one step ahead. Well, he and his friends that is, whoever they might be. I refuse to believe it’s all him.
Commish was right, unfortunately, this force is definitely dirty. No telling how dirty, but it’s got to be dirty enough; we got that warrant only an hour before the search. Somepony must’ve tipped them off we were going to get it, cause there’s no way they cleared out what they had there in less than an hour. How does a guy like Foggy get those kind of connections all of a sudden? He’s not a string-puller, never has been. So how’d he all of a sudden wind up with this nice setup? Gah, still too many questions that need answering.
Heading over to a nearby sink, Time turned it on and splashed some water on his face, trying to wipe away the day’s grime and disappointments. He heard the locker room door open as he dried off, and when he turned there was the commissioner.
“Heard things didn’t go so well, detective,” Commissioner Gust bluntly remarked.
“Yeah, you could say that,” Time admitted.
“Methinks it’s time for a change in your approach,” he suggested. Time mulled it over in his head, nodding.
“Maybe, maybe. The truth’s there, barely hidden beneath the surface. Ponies are talking, talking aplenty. They want to help. The trouble is a particularly troublesome patch of dirt that’s clouding it all, and I haven’t quite figured out how to get to it. You?”
The commissioner shook his head. “Nothing yet. Can’t do too much on my end, unfortunately, lest I show my cards before I’m ready to make a move. Right now, seems like the best we’ve got still is simply knowing the dirt’s out there. It’s a start, but that won’t be good enough in the long run. I presume it is still just you and me who know, yes?”
Time hesitated before replying. “I’m not so sure. Frost and Flowers both seem pretty sure somepony’s been tipping someone off about our raids, and I can’t really blame them. This last one was supposed to be our big breakthrough. I figured after searching two of Foggy’s warehouses down by the riverfront and coming up with nothing that going after one of his clubs instead would be something he wasn’t expecting. Evidently I was wrong, and it’s not hard to reason what happened.”
“Is that a problem? Do they… know of our suspicions?” the commissioner asked.
“I don’t think so. Maybe they’re thinking it, but I certainly haven’t told them what you told me. It shouldn’t be a problem though, as long as they keep it to themselves.”
The commissioner raised a skeptical eyebrow. “You’re sure they’re not the problem, if you know what I mean?”
“Yeah, pretty sure. I know the obvious culprits would be the ponies I’ve been working closest with, but after a month with those two, I think it’s safe to say they’re clean. Flowers is as clean as an idealistic rookie comes, though he’s learning the ropes quickly. As for Frost, she’s a cop from a military family; I think she’d die before sullying her family’s name by turning dirty. Guess it’s mostly a gut feeling on my part, but they’re both good cops as far as I’m concerned.”
The commissioner grunted but nodded. “That’s good enough for me. So aside from that and what we already knew, what else have you learned?”
“Not too much I’m afraid,” Time admitted. “I’ve got a good sense for who the bad eggs around here are. Foggy and his subordinates aren’t exactly what I’d call subtle. Besides Midnight Marvel, pretty much all the other major club managers in the South Side answer to Foggy. He’s got most of the muscle over there under his hoof as well, lots of them guys who worked for him or the Trotters back in Manehattan. But that’s all gut instinct as well. It’s not hard to figure they’re the ones causing trouble, just damn near impossible to tie it all back to them. That’s what I can’t figure out. Who’s covering their tracks? Because it sure as hay isn’t them, I can tell you that much.
“It’s infuriating because there’s no one to even turn to. It’s more than just dirty cops, that’s for sure. Like you said my first day, there’s something behind all this. Something intelligent, something sinister. But it’s stayed in the shadows damn well so far.”
A contemplative silence hung in the air between the two for a moment. Fear weighed down upon the two, fear of what lay in the shadows, fear of not knowing their enemy but knowing it was out there. The worst aspect of the unknown was often simply its being unknown. “Anything else, detective?” Commissioner Gust finally asked.
“Well, there’s definitely been a couple of disappearances since I arrived, but again, it’s like you said; new faces, and ones nopony else knew or were going to miss, so it’s impossible to figure out what’s happened. They’re just gone, and I don’t know what that means. Maybe you’re right, maybe I do need to change my approach. But how? I guess I could start trying to figure out who’s covering for Foggy, but I’d probably have to bring in Officers Frost and Flowers for that. You OK with that?”
“Do what you think is best, detective. If you think they can be trusted, that’s good enough for me. You may not have come up with anything yet, but you’ve proven one thing at least in the last month. You’re a good cop, Turner. Relentless, determined, savvy, and perseverant. I was right to bring you on, and I know if you keep at it you’ll come up with something. Crooks are often surprised to see how far determination alone can get an honest officer.”
Time gave a grateful smile. “Thank you, sir, I appreciate it. I promise you, we will dig up something on these guys, just you wait.”
“I don’t doubt it. So, you on for tomorrow night at my sister’s?”
“You bet. They have accommodations for us non-pegasi?”
“Of course. Rented Cherry Berry’s hot air balloon service for the night, and I believe they should also have a unicorn there to cast a cloud-walking spell on you and Officer Flowers. Unless of course you’re already wearing thunderforged steel horseshoes.”
“Afraid not,” Time disclosed. “Don’t worry sir, I’ll try not to embarrass you too much,” he quipped, grinning.
“Please do,” Commissioner Gust replied, the joke apparently going over his head. That or he simply didn’t have a funny bone in his body. “Lieutenant Commander Kicker and Major Gust keep a close eye on behalf of the Crown on the goings on in Ponyville. They need to know that Ponyville’s own law enforcement is carrying its own weight and that we can take care of our own affairs. Is that understood?”
Time’s instincts told him they could use all the help they could get, but he understood where the commissioner was coming from. The Royal Guard wasn’t necessarily the place to seek help, at least not if they hoped to quietly uncover what exactly was going on. All it would do was strain the Guard’s own resources and draw unwanted attention to their investigation, at which point it might become impossible to discover who really was behind all of Ponyville’s recent troubles. At least, he hoped that was Commissioner Gust’s reasoning, and not simply a case of sibling rivalry between him and Major Gust, but he figured he knew the commissioner well enough by this point to know he wasn’t petty enough to do such a thing.
“Understood, sir,” he finally answered.
“Good. I’ll see you at six. Oh, and please remind Flowers to dress in uniform. I want you all to make the best first impression you can on them, and looks are key to making a good first impression.”
“Of course, sir, I’ll remind him. See you tomorrow.”
“So mom’s dragging you to that bore-fest dinner, huh?”
“Well, it doesn’t sound that bad. She thought it’d be a good way to check in on how I’m doing, ya know, make sure I’m not getting into any trouble, that sorta thing.”
“Pshhh, she would. Celestia forbid she actually want to, oh I don’t know, just spend some time with anypony just because she actually wants to. No, no, no, can’t have that now, can we? That simply can’t be the Kicker way of doing things!”
Derpy grimaced as she turned on her side away from Cloud for some side leg lifts.
Oh crap, that might have been the wrong angle to take. Can’t let Cloud think I’m going so she’ll come along, though; she’ll never come if she gets that impression.
The two mares, along with Blossomforth, were doing some stretches as cooldown after already finishing the majority of their workout. Derpy had enjoyed working out with the two fairly regularly ever since she got back seeing as they were both physically fit and healthy pegasi who, as assistant managers on Ponyville’s weather team, had physically demanding jobs which required they keep in shape. As such, they did some pretty rigorous workouts. It didn’t hurt that Cloud had attended West Hoof either, and Derpy had actually found that some of her friend’s normal workout routines paralleled ones she’d regularly done with the Order.
Luckily for her, Blossomforth was there to make a save.
“Aw come on Cloud, be reasonable, I’m sure your mother’s plenty well-intentioned. It’s not like it’ll be some interrogation, it’s a social gathering with mostly family of yours. How formal could she really be?”
“You’d be surprised,” Cloud maintained, but Blossomforth simply rolled her eyes.
“Cloud!” she said sternly.
“Fine, fine, it could be perfectly nice for all I know,” Cloud conceded. “So you’re for sure going to be there?” she asked Derpy.
Derpy nodded. “Yup. Hey, if nothing else it’s a free meal, right?” she said, giggling to herself.
Cloud snorted. “Normally that’d hardly be incentive enough for me with those two, but if you’re gonna be there I suppose it won’t be so bad. Besides, I’d hate to leave you all alone with my folks for a whole dinner. That might get just a tad… awkward.”
While Derpy thought Cloud was being a bit hard on her parents, she had to admit she had a point. She still barely knew Cloud’s mom, and knew her dad even less. Really her closest connection to their family was through Cloud, so hearing she’d be coming was a bit of a relief to say the least.
“All right, Sexy McBendy, sounds like we’re on for dinner at Funhouse Central tomorrow,” Cloud announced to her marefriend, currently contorting herself in a stretch that was just painful to even look at. Blossomforth grunted in annoyance in response.
“Fine by me, but what did I tell you about pet names in public?” she sharply asked.
“Something about say as many as often as possible, right?” Cloud replied with a grin plastered on her face.
“You are so incorrigible.”
“I am, I really am. If you prefer, I could go with that one from the other night instead. You know, the one I came up with after you did that thing with the lotion, scarves, and– ”
“Cloud!”
“Aw, but I was just about to get to the blindfold,” Cloud said in feigned protest, winking.
Blossom sighed, painfully aware that Cloud wasn’t going to stop until she played along. “No no, it’s fine, Sexy, er… McBendy is perfectly fine,” she said, wincing.
“Aw, I love you too sweetums!” Cloud gave a peck on Blossomforth’s rapidly reddening cheek. Derpy quietly laughed under her breath, not wanting to embarrass poor Blossomforth any further.
Well, no matter how dinner goes, at least it should be plenty entertaining with those two along.
The three mares quickly finished up the last of their cooldown before heading to the locker room. Before she left, Derpy made a point to ask, “So Cloud, your mom didn’t mention this before; any need for formal wear tomorrow evening?”
“What’re you kidding me? Dad hates dressing up in the house. Nah, it’ll just be a pretty low-key affair for family and friends, you know how it goes. See ya tomorrow!”
“You too!” Derpy called out before leaving the locker room and heading home.
It’d been some time since Derpy had had a meal in a cloud-house, but she was honestly looking forward to it. It was probably a pegasi thing, but there was just something very homey and natural for her about eating a meal high in the sky, the whole world spreading out far below her like some wonderful tapestry. Granted, Tornado and Nimbus’s cloud-house probably wouldn’t be that high in the air seeing as most of the rare cloud-houses around Ponyville were fairly low, and certainly nowhere near as high as Cloudsdale itself, but she was sure it would still feel close to home all the same.
Flying along with Cloud and Blossomforth, the three mares arrived just as a hot air balloon was making its way up to the Kicker cloud-house, operated by Cherry Berry. Drawing near, they found both Time Turner and an earth pony Derpy didn’t recognize sitting in it.
“Evening, ground dwellers!” Cloud chimed as all three mares hovered around the balloon.
“Evening ladies,” Time replied, doffing his cap at all three while Cherry and the other earth pony waved.
“Hey Time, who’s your friend?” Derpy asked.
“Ladies, this is Officer Sun Flowers, our newest rookie on the force,” he explained. Derpy waved politely to him but suddenly noticed something peculiar.
“Um… what are you wearing?” she asked with a puzzled voice. The officer’s face reddened considerably at that, and for good reason. While Time was dressed in what appeared to be a standard police uniform, Sun was dressed in a far more formal outfit.
“Ah, yeah. Bit of a misunderstanding I’m afraid. You see, Officer Flowers, well… he was under the impression that instead of ‘dressing in uniform’ we were supposed to ‘wear dress uniform.’ Which is a perfectly understandable mistake,” he emphasized, trying to assure his nervous-looking companion.
“Why are you both dressed at all?” Blossomforth added, causing both stallions to exchange bewildered looks. It suddenly seemed to dawn on Time that none of the mares hovering before them were wearing anything.
“Isn’t this a… formal dinner?” Time asked tentatively. The giggles that broke out among all three mares was all the answer he needed.
“Wait, wait, wait, I think I know what happened!” Cloud said between laughs. “Uncle Cirrus asked you to dress up, didn’t he?” Both officers nodded, which drew even more laughs from Cloud. “Ha! Oh you poor saps. Cirrus dresses up for everything! He’s the only guy I know who’s ever worn his uniform to his own wife’s birthday party. Even my mom’s not that bad. Though I have to admit, Flowers, you might actually be more overdressed than he’ll be. Wonder how he’ll react to that?”
Beads of sweat surfaced upon Sun’s brow when he heard that and his face seemed to pale just a little. Blossomforth waved a dismissive hoof and attempted to calm the forlorn-looking fellow down.
“Ah don’t listen to her. Cloud just gets a sick kick out of getting under the skin of any pony she can. Believe me, I should know,” she assured him, nudging her marefriend in the side.
“It’s true, she really does,” Derpy agreed, nodding and nudging Cloud from the other side. Cloud swerved away from both mares, blowing raspberries at each of them.
“While I certainly enjoy my sick kicks, I am still looking forward to this all the same. You two don’t know my uncle like I do. Guy makes my mom look downright dandy as a daisy.”
“I’ll have to tell him you said that, see what he thinks,” Time remarked, smirking.
“Eh, he probably wouldn’t give two bits if you did. But then again, maybe you shouldn’t; after all, you have to work with him every day, not me. See you boys in a bit!” Cloud called out before ascending the rest of the way to the cloud-house with Blossomforth right behind her.
Pausing for a moment, Derpy just shook her head. “Oh I can already tell she’s just going to be a barrel of laughs tonight. That could be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on how the evening goes.”
“Hey, if we’re lucky she might even distract everyone from Sun’s attire,” Time suggested, earning a wide-eyed look from his companion. “Kidding, just kidding!” he assured him.
“Well, I’ll see you two at the top,” Derpy said, waving to them both as she flew to join her fellow pegasi.
The cloud-house was rather large, but hardly gaudy. Compared to cloud-houses like Rainbow Dash’s far flashier residence, the Kickers was downright spartan, at least on the outside. No rainbows adorned the roofs, nor did any rainbow falls pour out along the edges of the exterior. It was not, however, without its own simple charm. The walls and columns sported a very neoclassical design akin to some of the oldest structures one might encounter in Cloudsdale, and a few carefully placed waterfalls of pure, clear water poured from certain, select outcroppings. Knowing the austere and practical tastes of Clan Kicker, this was hardly surprising.
Derpy had been to the Kicker Compound a couple of times to visit Cloud, and that was more than enough to know they were unlike any other pegasi in Equestria. The simple fact that the entire place was earthbound was the most noticeable feature of how the Kicker’s differed from most pegasi, but that was merely where their peculiar characteristics began. The entire place was more like a residential castle and barracks than family residence, a centerfold piece of Canterlot’s military culture dating back centuries. Every Kicker family’s residence was virtually the same in size and design, and besides its defenses, it also came with its own training yard, armory, library, medical ward, and even a museum! Actually, come to think of it, it was more than a touch similar in function to the Order’s Die Schmiede, albeit perhaps a tad smaller given it sat in the middle of an urban center like Canterlot, though certainly more modern and developed as well.
The Kickers’ oddities, however, didn’t stop there. From what Cloud had told her about her family, despite their frugal veneer, Kickers were allowed to hold and build their own personal wealth and property, and the clan as a whole was immensely wealthy and as powerful as it was puritanical. Besides their rich history and the high position they held in Equestria’s military culture, the clan also owned and operated a number of businesses in both Canterlot and throughout Equestria. Some of these businesses exclusively catered to Kickers alone, including, if Cloud was to be believed, at least a few Crown-sanctioned brothels. Even these businesses’ ultimate purpose, however, was to benefit the clan, be it through the services they provided or the profits they turned. The clan’s ultimate purpose, in turn, remained, as it had for centuries, to serve Equestria in any way it could, first and foremost in its defense.
And now Derpy was about to have a friendly dinner with that very same clan’s pater familias and mater familias. It suddenly occurred to her that she should be far more freaked out about this than she was. She barely knew Nimbus as it was, and she knew even less about Cloud’s dad.
Guess when you’ve spent the past year living with a secret group of ponies whom the world forgot about centuries ago, some things don’t seem quite as daunting as they used to. Besides, they knew mom and they’re one of your best friend’s parents, how hard could it be to carry some dinner conversation with them for a couple of hours? Yeah, should be a piece of cake.
Flying over to the ostium where Blossomforth and Cloud already were, Derpy joined them at the vestibulum imbrem, a small waterfall and pool adjoining the entrance. This was a traditional feature of most cloud-houses, a sign of welcome and hospitality to guests, especially pegasi. Here guests, especially any who had travelled a great distance or come from a hard day’s work, might rinse themselves off of the day’s grime, dust, and sweat before entering the cloud-house proper.
It was considered an insult to pass up on such a feature proffered by one’s host, but seeing as neither Derpy nor her friends were in any sort of ragged state, they simply opted for an act that was more ceremonial than functional, a ritual all pegasi were taught in childhood. Wings spread, they all casually glided twice through the vestibulum imbrem, dipping only their wings into it as they passed and lighting upon the soft clouds to its side after they had done so. The water was warm and felt good upon Derpy’s wings and joints, and she hummed in pleasure to herself as she felt it run over her feathers. Their motion through the cascading water was so quick that they barely got wet, and pegasi were generally used to damp surroundings so it wasn’t hard to dry off afterwards. All three gave a few flicks of their wings while they stood before the ostium, waiting to be greeted by their hosts.
They didn’t have to wait long, though their “greeting” was most unexpected when it came. From above, a yellow blur dropped on top of Cloud, squealing with delight and sending Cloud sprawling.
“Haha, gotcha Cloudy!” a little filly proclaimed triumphantly.
“You sure did, ‘Lula,” Cloud conceded to her little sister, rolling her eyes, but at the same time breaking out a mischievous grin. “But you’ve failed to anticipate my impending counterattack!” In a flash, she rolled out from underneath Alula, scooped her up with one hoof, and began assaulting her purple mane with a ruthless noogie with the other. Alula wriggled in her grasp, but to no avail. She looked over to Derpy and Blossomforth for support, but they were too busy themselves trying to suppress their own laughter to help. With no other recourse available, she soon opted for a desperation maneuver.
“Mom! Cloud’s messing up my mane before dinner!” she shouted, drawing a dirty look from her older sister. Unfortunately for Alula, her mother happened to be Nimbus Gust.
“Did you start it?” Nimbus’s voice called from inside.
The pregnant pause that followed was probably all Nimbus needed to know, but eventually Alula relented with a resigned, “Maybe.”
“Then finish what you started, young filly, or sue for peace,” her mother replied. Now it was Alula’s turn to roll her eyes, but a few more seconds of vigorous noogies soon convinced her to follow the latter half of her mother’s advice.
“OK, OK, stop, you win!”
“That much is obvious,” Cloud said. “But what do I get for my hard-earned victory, hmmm?”
“Ummm… lemme go and you can have my dessert.” Alula shot the most darling smile she could up at Cloud, hoping her proffered terms would suffice. Unfortunately for her, her sister happened to be Cloud Kicker.
“Dessert, eh? I don’t know. Pretty sweet deal, but not sweet enough, if you ask me.” She rubbed her chin thoughtfully for a moment before breaking out an evil grin. “Tell you what. Throw in doing Blossom’s dishes as well as mine, and you got a deal.”
“But we have caterers for that!” Alula protested, only to get squeezed even tighter by her sister’s strong, unyielding arm. “Alright, fine, I’ll do your dishes too, sheesh.”
“And just like that, the war is won and hostilities cease,” Cloud announced, relinquishing her grasp and bowing to Derpy and Blossomforth’s feigned applause. While Alula straightened up her mane, grousing to herself about her stupid big sister, Cloud’s parents showed up for a more proper greeting.
“Ah, girls, so good to see you could make it,” Nimbus said, directing a pointed look Derpy’s way for a split second as she flashed a smile.
“Been too long since you last visited, Cloud. I think you’ll like what we’ve done with the place, it’s a lot more furnished since you last saw it,” Cloud’s father, Tornado Kicker, informed her.
“I’m sure it looks great, dad,” Cloud replied with a hint of disinterest, though she did give both of her parents quick hugs, albeit somewhat awkwardly.
“Nice to see you again, Mister Kicker and Missus Gust. You too, Alula,” Blossomforth said with considerably more warmth.
“Good evening, Blossomforth, nice to see you as well,” Nimbus returned, nodding.
Blossomforth wasted no time removing a bottle of wine from a bag she was carrying. “We brought you some wine over from Berry’s. Not exactly an old age, but she sure knows her stuff. Thought you might like some if you hadn’t tried any.”
Tornado graciously accepted the proffered wine. “Thank you, I have heard some good things about her place from some of the townsfolk. Not sure we’ll crack it open tonight, but I look forward to giving it a taste all the same.” He took a moment to examine it before glancing behind his daughter’s shoulder and seemingly realizing out of the blue that Derpy was standing there.
“Oh my, sorry, almost didn’t notice you there. And you are…?” he asked, furrowing his brow in thought.
“C’mon dad, it’s Derpy, you know her! She’s been to the compound a couple times,” an annoyed Cloud said, shooting an apologetic look Derpy’s way. Her mother opted for a softer approach.
“Dear, this is Derpy Hooves. You know, Ditzy’s daughter, remember?”
“Oh yes, how could I forget? My goodness, it has been a while since we last met. How long have you been in the area?” he asked.
“Oh… pretty much since I set out on my own. I came out here around the same time Cloud did.”
“My, my, that long, eh? Well, we’re certainly happy to have you in our home. Your mother was a dear friend of ours and a wonderful mare; I’d be happy to learn more about the mare her daughter has become.”
Derpy smiled appreciatively, though felt a pang of guilt when she realized she’d yet again probably have to pass off her fabrication of the past year’s events to yet another pony, and this time not just one of her best friend’s parents, but also someone hosting her in his own home. After a month of selling the same tale to anypony who asked, she knew she ought to be used to it by now, but it still felt weird and unnatural to just blatantly lie to virtually everypony in town besides Carrot.
Come on, suck it up, girl. You have to, it’s important. At least, I think it is. It will be… maybe. Whatever, don’t worry about it, just go to dinner right now, have a good time, and do what you gotta do.
“So, who else is here?” Cloud asked.
“Aunty Gale and Uncle Cirrus are, and some work friend of his,” Alula answered.
“Oh goody, he’s already here,” Cloud remarked, flashing a mischievous grin. “I can’t wait to see his reaction.”
Both of her parents raised an eyebrow at that. “Reaction? Cloud, what did you do?” her mother asked in a warning tone.
“Nothing! Nothing, I swear, it’s not me! But I don’t want to spoil the surprise. Just trust me and wait and see, you’ll know it when you see it,” she assured them both, which did little to reassure them.
“You take an unhealthy delight in consternating your family, you know,” Nimbus said.
“Ah, what can I say? It’s part of my charm. Sometimes I think it should’ve even been my special talent.” Nimbus looked like she was about to rejoin that with another stern reproach, but before she could, Tornado stepped in.
“Well, let’s not dawdle out here. Come in, come in, all of you. We’re just waiting on a couple of other guests, but they should be along shortly.” He beckoned everyone to come inside, and they all followed suit.
They soon came to the atrium, a large space which was the most important in any cloud-house, the center of all social activity between hosts and their guests. This one was exceptionally large, which Derpy figured stood to reason considering who her hosts were. They probably had the place designed to accommodate far larger and more important gatherings than the one they were currently hosting.
Like many cloud-houses, it was pretty sparse in its furnishings, or at least any permanent ones; pegasi could shape virtually anything they desired to or needed out of clouds, so homes frequently changed to suit their owner’s needs or wants. On top of that, the only solid objects that could furnish homes without falling straight to the earth below either had to be magically enchanted or made of thunderforged steel, and such materials were rare and expensive. Still, even for the spartan Kickers appearances were important to maintain, so there were a few noteworthy features here and there.
Cloud columns ringed the room, a couple of pedestals held aloft a tasteful looking vase and a bust of some pony Derpy didn’t recognize but was sure was important enough to warrant having a bust made of him, and four large paintings hung on the walls. They all appeared to be depicting momentous events in Equestrian history, and Derpy was sure she espied the red armor of Clan Kicker in at least two of them. All in all, it was about as respectable an atrium as any cloud-house might have, more than fitting for its prominent occupants.
In the middle of the room they came upon three other pegasi standing around idly making small talk, Cirrus Gust, a bespectacled mare whom Derpy assumed was his wife, and another one of Time’s police officer colleagues, this one a mare she recognized from seeing around town, though she’d never actually met her. As Cloud had said they would be, both Cirrus and the officer were in uniform, and Derpy couldn’t help but notice that Cirrus’s wife was not dressed up in the slightest.
Huh… guess it really is a weird quirk of his.
They exchanged greetings and introductions with one another while Tornado went back to the ostium, most likely to welcome Time and Sun Flowers. Nimbus introduced Derpy to Cirrus’s wife, Gale Gust, and she learned the other officer’s name was Spring Frost. It wasn’t long before Tornado returned with Time and Sun in tow, and when he did Cloud beamed from ear to ear and subtly moved to the side, giving her uncle a clear line of sight at the incoming guests.
Tornado himself already had a funny look on his face, and it wasn’t long before everypony else learned why. The overdressed Sun’s face was as red as a beet as he and Time approached the rest of the group, his eyes not meeting Cirrus’s own. Cloud was biting her lip, trying her best not to burst into laughter, and it looked like Spring was having a hard time keeping it together as well. Cirrus simply looked over his two officers with his typical, neutral expression. Surprisingly, he was not the first to comment upon their appearance.
“What are you wearing?” little Alula asked Sun, curiously examining his dress uniform.
“IswearIdidn’tknow!” Sun blurted out. Mercifully, Time decided to take it from there.
“What I think Officer Flowers is trying to say is that there was a bit of a misunderstanding, is all. But hey, we’ve all made mistakes, right? I remember this one time a couple of college friends and I had a bit too much fun one Friday night and learned in the morning that we’d ‘accidentally’ let loose a cockatrice from the biology department. Let me tell you, that was not a fun weekend.” That got a few chuckles from the group, but most still seemed fixated on Cirrus, waiting to see how he’d react.
After a pregnant pause, he raised an eyebrow but, much to everypony’s surprise, simply said, “Looking sharp, officer.” Normally Derpy would take that as a joke, but in Commissioner Gust’s case, he seemed to sincerely mean it without any hint of irony whatsoever. Cloud looked a smidge disappointed by his anticlimactic response, and Sun’s jaw dropped in surprise, but maybe that was just Cirrus’s way of looking out for his officers. In any case, everyone else took Cirrus’s nonchalant reaction as a cue to treat Sun’s wardrobe malfunction as no big deal for the rest of the evening, although Spring Frost still appeared to be quite amused by it herself.
With that out of the way, Time and Sun introduced themselves to the rest of the group. Once all the remaining introductory pleasantries were out of the way, Tornado and Nimbus led the party to the triclinium, designed, unsurprisingly, in a very traditional fashion, with cloud couches placed on three sides around a large, square table, made from a combination of oak and thunderforged steel.
Commissioner Gust, his wife, and the officers, as the guests of honor, took their seats at the middle cushion, while the host family sat on the left, and Derpy, Cloud, and Blossomforth on the right. As was custom for a traditional pegasi dinner party, all of the guests, rather than simply sit upright, reclined on the couches around the table. The uniform-clad guests - with the exception of Commissioner Gust, who looked perfectly at ease – shifted awkwardly as they attempted to get into comfortable positions, especially poor Sun Flowers. The poor lad had clearly never been on clouds before and kept looking nervously at the floor as though any minute now he might fall through.
Once everyone was seated, caterers began to bring dishes out, which were aptly passed around the table. It wasn’t an obscenely large meal, but the dishes themselves were very appetizing. Steamed broccoli, three bean salad, fresh loaves of garden vegetable bread with more than enough butter to go around, blackberries, dates, and Derpy’s personal favorite of the night, a delicious mushroom and eggplant casserole. She’d have to seriously ask for the recipe for that one and try making it sometime. Well, try convincing Carrot to make it sometime at least.
Truly there were more than a few downsides to being a mortal enemy to kitchens worldwide.
After everyone had gotten their meals set, conversation resumed once more as they all dug in. Sun Flowers in particular seemed to get a handle on his nerves once he got some good food in his stomach and tried to put on a good show for his boss.
“So, what do you guys do?” he asked his hosts, who exchanged puzzled looks with each other. Time almost choked on his food at the question, and Spring Frost made an exaggerated facehoof.
“Well, I’m one of three lieutenant commanders in the Royal Guard and Nimbus here leads Machwing Company,” Tornado patiently explained.
Officer Flowers nodded, but maintained a blank expression. “OK… what does that mean?” he asked. Spring proceeded to plant her face in both of her hooves.
Nimbus gave Sun a hard look as though trying to determine whether or not he was just pulling their legs before further expounding. “It means that my husband is one of the three highest ranking officers in the Guard just below the Captain of the Guard and their majesties themselves, and that I lead one of its most elite companies.”
The officer spent a few seconds processing that before nodding to himself thoughtfully. “Oh… cool. Very cool.” He took another bite of his meal, savoring every bit of it. “Mmmm, very good food, you guys sure know how to put on a party.”
Cirrus Gust conspicuously cleared his throat at that, leveling his gaze upon his young officer. “Officer Flowers, I would prefer it if you maintained a certain level of professionalism and referred to our hosts as Lieutenant Commander Kicker and Major Gust. Think you can handle that?”
“Sure thing, boss!” he said, offering a sloppy salute. Cirrus rolled his eyes, but thankfully Sun got the gist of that. “I mean, er, sure thing, commissioner!” he amended.
“So, how long have you been working with the police force?” Tornado asked Officer Flowers.
“Oh, bit over a month now,” he replied.
“What led you to join the force?” Gale Gust asked. Whatever answer she might have expected, it wasn’t what she got.
“Beets.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Beets. My whole family’s done nothing but farm beets for the past six generations on the same patch of land. Figured I wanted to do something different.”
Cloud leaned over to Derpy and said under her breath, “Well that certainly explains a lot.” Derpy couldn’t help but quietly giggle in agreement, though luckily no one seemed to notice.
“Saw a flyer in the mail one day about attending police academy and thought that sounded like it’d be swell, so when I was old enough, I packed up and went to the nearest one I could find. Got assigned to Ponyville when I graduated and couldn’t be happier! I was kinda worried I’d be sent to some big city where I’d be getting lost every two seconds, but this place ain’t so bad. Still pretty big compared to what I’m used to, but folks around here sure are friendly and the whole town’s real nice. Well, most of it is anyway. Not that the bad parts aren’t nice- wait, no, I mean not that the not nice parts are bad… no, that’s not right either. Uhhhhh… I got nothing.”
“I think what Officer Flowers is trying to say is that he’s mostly fond of our town, and that’s what matters most. No town’s perfect, after all, but so long as you can make a good life there, then it’s worth living there. Sound about right, officer?” Commissioner Gust offered. Sun exuberantly nodded.
“Yeah, what he said! Commissioner Gust’s got a real fine way of putting things. Real happy myself to have him for a boss, yes sir.”
If she were more cynical, Derpy might have assumed he was just being a kiss flank, but Sun Flowers was one of those ponies who seemed to sincerely mean everything he said. His attitude was actually kind of charming and admirable in its own honest, straightforward simplicity.
“Well, I’m sure Commissioner Gust is happy to have such an enthusiastic officer as yourself in the Ponyville PD’s ranks,” Tornado declared, and his compliment brought a bashful grin to Sun’s freckled face. Tornado turned his attention over to Spring Frost. “And what about you, Officer Frost? You’ve been with the police force for about a year, but I don’t believe my wife and I have had the pleasure of hosting you yet. What led you to take up police work?”
“I’m curious about that myself. If I’m not mistaken, you have some family in the Guard, yes?” Nimbus added, and Spring gave an affirming nod.
“That I do, ma’am. Four older brothers to be exact, all in the Royal Guard. To answer your question, lieutenant commander, they’re the reason I pursued police work.” She smiled wryly. “Or rather, the reason I passed on the Guard. No offense intended, but when you’re the runt of the litter and a girl growing up with four testosterone-fueled lunkheads whose favorite pastime was any game that stood a chance of inflicting bodily injury on one or all of their siblings, you don’t exactly go out of your way as an adult to work alongside any of ‘em, much less in a job like the Guard. I love my big bros, but I know enough about them to know their old antics haven’t changed one bit, even in adulthood.”
Nimbus offered a sympathetic nod. “I can believe that. In fact, one of your brothers is in my own Machwing Company. Summer Breeze, I believe. A fine soldier, to be sure, but I’ve seen him on more than one occasion with at least one of his brothers. They do indeed tend to roughhouse to an impressive, dare I say almost excessive, degree with one another, to say the least.” Pointedly looking at Cirrus, she continued, “That, and I can also attest from personal experience that one older brother is trouble enough to handle, much less four.”
A faint smirk surfaced on her features, but nothing more; Derpy figured that was probably the extent of her playfulness, at least with her just as stoic brother. Whether her teasing bothered or amused Cirrus, none could say, as he only offered a twitch of his mustache and a neutral gaze in return.
“Oh yes, that sounds exactly like something they’d do,” Spring confirmed. “Believe it or not, Summer’s probably the most levelheaded one of the whole lot. So obviously I wasn’t about to follow them into the Guard. But the family’s got a long history of civil and military service in Equestria, and spending my days sitting behind a desk pushing papers was the last thing I wanted to do, so police work it was. I figured it could be just as meaningful and physically demanding as the Guard, and with the added bonus that only the direst of events would require my working with those four knuckleheads I call kin, it was a no-brainer.”
“A mare who knows what she wants, I like that,” Cloud said. “You ever hit up any clubs in town, Frosty? Blossom and I are always looking for a new playmate- I mean, pal to party with.” She shot a look whose suggestive meaning wasn’t hard to miss Spring’s way, which was more than enough to draw a bright, crimson blush from her and several other guests. Neither of her parents said a word, but Nimbus made a point of giving her a very warning expression.
“Sorry, sorry!” Cloud said, though she was quite evidently pleased with herself and the results she’d gotten all the same.
Guess even a steady relationship isn’t enough to slow Cloud down. I guess it makes sense that she’d have to take some baby steps for something like that, and monogamy might still be a ways away for her. Wonder how Blossom feels about that? She must be either supremely patient or actually enjoy romping around with Cloud to put up with that. Well, either way, I just hope she’s happy.
“Cloud, no fair!” Alula hollered. “You’re always bragging about how much you and Blossom get to party all the time. If you get to party with Officer Frost, too, then I want to too.” The little filly crossed her hooves and made a rather adorable pout, though what she’d unknowingly implied caused more than a few eyes to widen, as well as some of the color to drain from Cloud’s face. A sharp nudge in the ribs from her marefriend, and an even stronger look of admonishment from both of her parents was more than enough for her to know she needed to dial it down. If there was one thing Cloud wasn’t willing to sully with her irreverent behavior, it was her little sister’s still-innocent (she hoped) mind.
“Oh, I was just kidding around, ‘Lula,” she quickly amended. “I’m sure Officer Frost’s far too busy to, er, party with the likes of Blossom and I. Besides, we don’t nearly go out as much as you may think we do. That’s mostly me just talking big, and our parties are a lot more boring than the ones you go to, I’m sure.”
Her sister considered this for a moment, and finally, much to Cloud’s relief, said, “Yeah, I guess it would be pretty hard to have a party better than the one Featherweight had last month. Pinkie Pie spent a whole month planning it, and they even had a chocolate fountain shaped like a dragon! Bet none of your parties ever had that before, Cloudy.”
Cloud shook her head, relief washing over her. “They sure didn’t, so there ya go. Instant party-supremacy right there. Our boring grown-up parties couldn’t ever possibly hold a candle to that.” Alula beamed, having ‘won’ the contest of party-coolness, and Cloud breathed a sigh of relief. Her mother nodded approvingly and set about getting their derailed conversation back on track.
“Well, from what Cirrus has told me, Officer Frost, you’re a very standup member of the force with a fine career ahead of you. Keep up the good work.” Spring bowed her head graciously, blushing once more.
“Thank you, ma’am, you’re too kind.”
Nimbus nodded in turn and finally affixed her eyes on Time. “Now then, Detective Turner. Our most interesting recent addition to the Ponyville PD. You’ve got quite a bit of experience under your belt already, yes?”
“That I do, Major Gust,” he replied. “Two years with the Trottingham Constabulary, four years with the Manehattan PD.” Both of his colleagues’ looked at him with surprise.
“Geez, detective, I had no idea you were that seasoned!” Spring remarked.
“Well, no sense in dwelling on it. What’s in the past is in the past. I’m here now, and what I’m doing right now is all that matters.”
“Yeah, but what’s a big shot like you doing here?” Sun asked. Time merely shrugged, maintaining a nonchalant demeanor, or at least trying to.
“Just wanted a change of scenery, is all. A job out here sounded good to me and there were some openings, so I took it while I could. End of story.” Normally Time was as easygoing as they came, but right now he seemed strangely aloof. If Derpy didn’t know any better, she’d almost venture a guess that he was dodging the matter. From the hard look both Nimbus and Tornado were giving Time, it seemed they were both trying to determine the same thing, but before they could press him about it any further his boss intervened.
“It’s good to routinely inject some seasoned blood into a force, even one as small as ours,” he explained. “Emerald Ember knew I was searching for a solid veteran and highly recommended Detective Turner, said he’d be a good fit here. She knows me like the back of her own hoof, so that pretty much settled it. I offered him the job, he said yes, and he’s been doing a fine job so far.”
Nimbus and Tornado exchanged glances for a split second, but seemed to silently concur that that was good enough for them. “So how are you liking Ponyville so far, detective?” Tornado asked.
“Oh it’s a lovely town, sir. Quite lovely. Reminds me a bit of home, Trottingham I mean, though considerably less wet here. Just moved out of the Silver Saddle Inn into my new place last week; renting out a cottage from Filthy Rich. Pretty nice setup overall, and the rent’s pretty reasonable as well. Actually, I have Miss Hooves over there to thank in part. She’s the one who first recommended I seek out Filthy Rich about finding a place, and I have to say it went as smooth as I could’ve hoped.” He raised his glass to Derpy, and she waved a casually dismissive hoof.
“Nah, don’t mention it. All I did was drop a name, that’s all. Literally anypony could’ve done that.”
“Well I still appreciate the assist all the same.”
“So, you know Derpy?” Nimbus questioned, looking back and forth between the two.
“Oh yeah, we see each other quite a bit. We’re running into each other at Sugarcube Corner all the time, so most days we converse for a bit over coffee and muffins. Afraid she’s gotten me hooked on the muffins around here.”
“Well that’s just what happens after an entire lifetime spent not knowing the joy that is muffins. I’m honestly surprised you lasted this long without them.” She blew a playful raspberry Time’s way, eliciting a snort and sheepish grin out of him. Their banter was brought to an end by Nimbus’s pressing forward.
“So who else do you know around here? Got any family in the area?”
“No, no family. Most of mum’s side of the family lives in and around Trottingham, and dad’s side is spread out Celestia-alone knows where. I do know your daughter, though, and Blossomforth too. They’ve both been very friendly and welcoming… er, in a totally appropriate manner of course.” Cloud snorted, but it was probably smart of Time to clarify that considering he was having dinner with her parents and aunt and uncle, the latter just also happening to be his boss.
Heh, guess it didn’t take him too long to figure out Cloud’s rep around here. Then again, he probably had a good idea of what she’s like after five minutes of conversation with her.
Time continued, “Met with the mayor and Element Bearers at Pinkie’s surprise welcome party for me, and I’m getting more and more acquainted with the other police and townsfolk every passing day. All in all, I’d say things are going just fine and dandy so far.”
“Glad to hear it,” Nimbus said. “Moving to a new home is never easy for anyone, and lately we’ve got a lot more new folks around town than usual. Obviously that takes some adjustment from new and old townsponies alike, so it’s good to hear you’re at least feeling right at home. Speaking of which,” she continued, turning now to her brother, “how is everything going with all those newcomers? They have built up a new section in town and all, so they must keep rather busy these days. That or there’s quite a few of them. Or both.”
Time gave Commissioner Gust a sidelong glance, but the commissioner didn’t meet his gaze and maintained an unreadable expression while he thought in silence. Finally Cirrus responded, choosing his words slowly and carefully. “Yes, they have been rather industrious in the South Side. We’re keeping a close eye on some of them since we’re still getting a feel for what they’re doing here, but it’s nothing our town can’t handle. There’s a chance some of them might not be the best characters, but if that’s the case my force is more than up to the task.”
He’s being awfully cagey. It doesn’t take much looking to figure out there’s a lot of bad things going on in the South Side. If I could learn that much just from eavesdropping all over town and scraping up what I could, I have to think our feathering commissioner knows even more.
Maybe he just doesn’t want to talk about it in front of some of us; his wife, his younger niece, us civilians. Makes sense. Or maybe he’s trying to keep the Royal Guard out of it. Also makes sense. He’s never struck me as the type to jealously guard his power, but one of these Guards happens to be his sister, so maybe it’s a sibling thing. That said, he’s always been very by-the-books. Probably places a premium on boundaries, groups like the Guard and Ponyville police sticking to their business and only their business. Maybe it’s a little bit of everything and there’s some truth to all three.
Whatever his true motivations for remaining enigmatic, the commissioner clearly wasn’t about to share them as he in turn shifted the direction of the conversation. “What about you and Machwing? Things still all clear in our region, no changelings creeping about or anything like that?”
Nimbus shook her head. “No, thank Celestia. I’m not exactly surprised since there are a good many reasons they’d be fools to try to come here, not the least of which being that they’d be in such close proximity to some of the most powerful beings in Equestria. No, wherever they are, I imagine they’re still licking their wounds in some remote location either no one can find or would never wish to go to in the first place. Still, we stay vigilant. We have to after such spectacularly awful security breaches.”
“How bad was it? I know they caught us all by surprise, but it’s hard to get a sense of how bad it really was from secondhoof sources like the papers. What’s your sense of it all, Nimbus?” Gale asked her sister-in-law.
Like her brother before, Nimbus too collected her thoughts before responding, contemplatively sipping from her drink a few times. “Well it was worse than I think most ponies know. Not because we’ve been withholding information or anything, it’s just much clearer how bad it really was when you’re as close to it all like Tor and I are. It wasn’t just Princess Cadance who was abducted, oh no. A very fair number of civil servants and low ranking military personnel were replaced in Canterlot and across Equestria in the weeks leading up to the wedding. Thankfully in the end their abductors didn’t cause too much damage; we believe they were supposed to sew chaos across the land in the event that the attack on Canterlot had actually succeeded, or act as undercover operatives to help compromise whatever resistance movements may have sprung up among ponies if Canterlot had fallen. Most of them fled with the changelings scattered, and almost all of the abducted were recovered, thankfully.
“Our worst security breach after Princess Cadance, however, was Captain Steel Shield. From what we’ve found, she was abducted months before the attack, by an Infiltrator no less. They operate independent of changeling hives, and this one was most likely a mercenary. To think, I spent months conversing and working with a wretched impostor of a good friend. It was only by a stroke of luck it was discovered a couple of weeks before the attack at all; a Long Patrol investigation into some reiver activities stumbled upon some information in Freeport about a rumored Infiltrator in Equestria itself. After digging around a little they managed to discover its base of operations was in the Rambling Rock Ridge itself; they disposed of the vile creature, and… and also found Steel Shield. Too late, I’m afraid.”
All the ponies hung their heads for a moment in silence, even those who’d never known the mare. “Damn shame about Steel Shield,” Cirrus said gravely. “Showed me some of the ropes when I first joined the Long Patrol, near the end of her tour. Quite the magical talent, that one, though she had an uncanny ability for leading operations with all kinds of ponies as well, not just unicorns. Probably why she was such a good fit for the Mage Corps; wasn’t the type to think that unicorns alone can handle Equestria’s national security.”
“No she wasn’t,” Tornado agreed. “The fact that she was making such a strong recovery after her injuries suffered when Nightmare Moon returned makes it all the worse. She was so excited about getting back in action, getting back out into the field. I imagine you know the feeling all too well, Cirrus. On top of that, her loss has complicated things in the Guard’s high command. The security breach was bad enough, but Steel was also one of the few high-ranking unicorns who wasn’t totally self-absorbed with unicorn interests or her own personal ambitions. She had a knack for peacemaking and forging compromises between disagreeing parties in more, eh, political matters, and we could really use someone like that right now.”
“Ah yes, I see. Let me guess… that featherbrain Fervent Quest has been up to no good, right?” Cirrus asked, scowling.
Tornado looked a touch uneasy at that. “It’s not my place to talk badly about a fellow Lieutenant Commander. Fervent earned his place as much as Nimbus and I have earned ours. He’s just –”
“A feathering, flank-kissing mule,” Cloud offered, earning her a reproving glare from both her parents. “What? I saw him enough times at West Hoof to know that. And that brat of a daughter of his too, Glorious Day. Now there’s a mare I have never felt any inclination whatsoever to ban- uhhh, ‘party’ with.”
Nimbus rolled her eyes, though did offer a conceding nod at her daughter’s crass, but also on the nose, assessment. “There is sadly more truth to Cloud’s appraisal than I’d care to admit. Lieutenant Commander Quest’s been making Guard politics excessively difficult and time consuming and brought our decision making to a standstill. The worst has been his constant bouts with Blue Moon.”
“Oh my, little ol’ Blue’s been going at it with him? I’m almost sad I’ve been missing out on that,” Cirrus remarked, making what Derpy assumed was his attempt at a wry smile. “Next time you see him, send him my regards and tell him to keep up the good work.”
“Sorry to interrupt, but if you don’t mind my asking, who’s Blue Moon?” Derpy asked. “Is he another Lieutenant Commander, or some other officer in the Guard?”
“Nah, Mister Moon’s a family friend,” Cloud explained. “I think he used to be in the Guard, but now he runs some family business in Canterlot.”
“I wouldn’t call Moon Enterprises just a family business,” Nimbus clarified. “But yes, Cloud is correct, he was in the Guard for a while. Long Patrol in fact, and graduated from West Hoof around the same time Tornado and I did. He’s always had a deep respect for the Guard and has had his company invested in military technology research and development for a long time. However, he kicked a lot of his projects into high gear after the changeling attack. I think it shook him quite a bit and he just needed to do whatever he could to help. Since then, he’s been relentless and far more serious than usual, setting up meeting after meeting with the Guard’s high command to pitch whatever he can to us. Most of it’s been magical technology that all three races could implement and deploy on a massive scale.”
“Fervent’s not too happy about that, right?” Cirrus extrapolated.
“Those two have never seen eye-to-eye on anything, so on the one hoof this is hardly new,” Tornado said. “But still, it’s taken a new intensity this past year, that’s for sure. Half the time they seem like they’re on the brink of just tearing each other’s throats out right then and there. So it’s basically turned into an irresistible force paradox; you’ve got Blue’s irresistible force meeting Fervent’s immovable object.”
“That sounds like something the princesses might want to intervene in,” Blossomforth observed.
“I almost wish they would,” Nimbus agreed. “Unfortunately the princesses have never particularly enjoyed interfering too much in Guard politics, well, Princess Celestia hasn’t at least, though I don’t think Princess Luna is particularly comfortable with the notion either. More importantly, they recognize that there are valid merits to what both Blue and Fervent have been arguing. So they’re leaving it up to our discretion for the time being to figure things out and square things away. After all, the Guard’s still functioning just fine; troops are getting deployed where they need to be and operations are going off without a hitch. It’s just our inner politics that are a mess at the moment.”
At that moment the caterers returned, clearing away most of the dirty dishes and leftover food and dispensing slices of fresh apple pie. Alula’s eyes, like any self-respecting filly’s should at the appearance of sweets, lit up at the delectable sight. Much to her chagrin, however, Cloud coughed rather conspicuously, flashing an evil grin her way.
“Ah, ah, ah, don’t forget the terms of your surrender earlier, ‘Lula,” she reminded her.
Eyes widening in dismay, Alula looked to Nimbus for assistance, but her mother waved away the caterers when they brought pie her way, directing them to give it to Cloud instead. At the same time, they brought over both Cloud and Blossomforth’s dirty dishes to where Alula sat, further augmenting her ire.
“Awwwww, mom, can’t I have some? Pretty please!” she asked Nimbus endearingly as possible.
“Now, now, young filly, be reasonable,” her mother urged. “You must fulfill the terms you agreed to. It is the honorable thing to do, and should also teach you a lesson about biting off more than you can chew and more carefully picking your fights in the future. Besides, you have to get to bed soon, and your father and I don’t want you hopped up on sugar.”
“But mom!”
“No ‘buts’ young filly,” she warned.
Alula sighed and her shoulders sagged heavily, the very picture of dessert-deprived despondency. After a moment, however, her mother showed she was not without mercy and, without a word, cut up her own piece of pie in half, setting one of the portions in front of her youngest. Immediately the filly’s mood brightened and after giving her mother a grateful smile, she gobbled her pie down as fast as she could.
“You big softy,” Cloud playfully scoffed, winking at her mother.
“Perhaps I am getting softer with age,” Nimbus remarked with a quiet chuckle. “But your sister does still have to clean your dishes, so I figured this might alleviate the pain of her defeat just a tad.” In a rare instance of levity between the two, both Cloud and Nimbus shared a laugh at that, and Derpy, Blossomforth, and Tornado all smiled warmly at the sight of the two getting along so swimmingly.
After everyone had finished their dessert, the adults left the triclinium and enjoyed some fresh coffee and after-dinner conversation while Nimbus accompanied Alula while she cleaned the last of the dishes before putting her to bed. At some point, Cloud and Blossomforth snuck away from the main group. Where they’d gotten off to, Derpy could not say, though if she had to guess, knowing Cloud she figured they were probably grabbing a quick make out session in some closet somewhere. Time also slipped out at some point, so Derpy decided to tag along with the main group for the time being. Standing with Time’s colleagues, the commissioner and his wife, and Tornado, most of the group listened to the brothers-in-law go on about Royal Guard affairs and other business in Canterlot. When they’d been carrying on with that for some time, however, Cirrus suddenly asked a rather peculiar question.
“So Tor, I just have to know… you’re still working in Canterlot on an almost daily basis, right? And Nimbus also has to go there often enough, as well. So I have to know, because there’s no way you’re just that fast of a flier, how in the world are you getting to Canterlot on a daily basis without running yourself ragged?”
Tornado chuckled knowingly. “What, you don’t think I’m spry as ever? I could fly to Canterlot and back in my sleep! Honest truth, I swear, as Celestia is my witness.”
“Yeah, yeah, sure, but seriously, what’s your secret?” Cirrus pressed.
“Oh, alright. You caught me in a good mood, so I’ll let you all in on it. But you have to promise to keep it a secret, all of you. Is that clear, Officer Flowers?” Sun evidently wasn’t sure why he was being singled out, but he bobbed his head up and down rapidly. “Good lad. Well if you must know, it’s quite simple, really. Blue Moon set Nimbus and I up with a new toy of his.”
“Oh great, what’s he up to now? I hope for your sake it wasn’t anything you had to ingest,” Cirrus quipped. Tornado heartily laughed but thankfully shook his head in the negative.
“No, only thing he’d offer that I’d ever be willing to ingest would have to be from his liquor cabinet, and even then I wouldn’t necessarily go for it. Seriously, have you seen some of the things he’s got stocked in there? I’m pretty sure he’s got at least one whiskey distilled by dragons; don’t even ask me how he got his hooves on that, I’m afraid to ask myself. But he did set us up with something pretty crazy all the same.”
“Well, what is it?” Gale asked anxiously.
“A teleporter,” Tornado simply stated, giving his guests a moment to wrap their heads around what he’d just told them.
“So… what, you’ve got, like, a unicorn living with you guys who can teleport you?” Sun postulated, obliging Spring to facehoof one more time. By now starting to get used to Sun’s naïve but innocuous nature, Tornado lightheartedly chuckled.
“Heavens, no! That would be more than a little uncomfortable, to say the least. No, it’s a rather remarkable contraption of his, actually. Blue’s not just a businessman, you see, he’s an actual inventor as well. A technological genius, if I’m being perfectly honest. There’s probably not a single mind in all Equestria better at coming up with industrial and practical, everyday magical implements. This teleporter he set us up with is a prototype, a small portal powered by its own, self-contained magical reservoir permanently affixed in our house, designed for individual use. I don’t know all the details of the larger project he’s working on, aside from the fact that he’s hoping to set up some sort of teleportation network throughout all of Equestria, and this prototype was one of the first steps towards it.”
Derpy cocked her head to the side. “Is it safe? I know some unicorns can teleport themselves, but I’ve never heard of any portals designed to do the same thing.”
Tornado waved a hoof reassuringly. “Oh of course, of course. Once he heard we were in a bit of a pickle with the whole commute situation, he practically begged us to let him help. He already had a few teleporters of his own for personal use, but none of those covered nearly as great of a distance as ours was going to; he thought it’d be a splendid opportunity to further test his teleporters’ capabilities, but he made sure to personally test it himself before even thinking of letting us try it out.”
“That sure sounds like Blue, alright. Acting the damn fool and carelessly putting his neck on the line, even when he doesn’t have to.” Cirrus shook his head in bewilderment. “I don’t suppose it ever crossed his mind once to just have some plucky young intern give it a go?”
“I’m sure it crossed his wife’s, but yeah, you know that’s not his style. Rest assured, Nimbus and I did make a point of protesting his haphazard decision, but he wouldn’t have any of it. Thankfully, as with most anything he comes up with, it worked like a charm. Didn’t charge us one bit for it either, although I suppose the data he’s gathered from its successful use is some manner of payment, so to speak. But there you have it, that’s the secret.”
“I don’t suppose we might be able to see this contraption at all, eh?” Spring asked.
“Afraid not,” Tornado replied. “I might be able to show it to Cirrus and Gale some time since they’re family, but I can’t just go around showing it to everypony, it’s a matter of national security. Horsefeathers, we had to get approval from Princess Celestia herself before we could have it installed, and the other end connects to a secure location which I’m not at liberty to disclose for good reason. If enemies of Equestria discovered that such a portal exists in an unsecure location, it could be disastrous. That said, the princesses are very interested in the potential uses of this technology, and the Guard might have a multitude of applications for it once it gets further developed.”
Cirrus downed the last of his coffee, nodding contemplatively. “My, what times we live in. Seems like every time I think I’ve seen it all, something even more wondrous or bizarre crops up out of nowhere. I wonder what it’s like for the princesses to see such things. Probably fairly banal and routine by this point; I imagine once you hit two centuries, three tops, that not much of anything would really surprise you anymore after that. But hey, what do I know? Princess Celestia seems to embody all that’s good and wonderful about our country as much as ever; sure doesn’t seem bored by her lot in life. Princess Luna… well I guess I can’t really say for her. I haven’t really seen her enough to tell. What’s your sense of our Princess of the Night, Tor, hmmm?”
Tornado pondered that query for a moment before answering. “Hard to say. She’s thrown herself into a number of projects and oftentimes seems passionate about doing her part, no doubt about that. But she can be… moody. Not ill-tempered or anything, but she has her good days and her bad, and on the bad ones she’s often quite melancholy. Lately she’s had a string of such days. Can’t say why. I suppose Celestia would know better than any of us in the Guard, and I’m sure she’s doing what she can for her sister to help her adjust. I can only imagine what it was like returning to our world after a thousand years. A weaker mind would probably be driven insane by such a traumatic event.”
While the brothers-in-law carried on their conversation, Derpy decided to step out for some fresh air. Interesting as their talk might have been, she couldn’t help but feel a touch out of place, so she figured they wouldn’t mind if she excused herself. Cloud and Blossomforth were still nowhere to be found, but as luck would have it, it seemed Derpy wasn’t the only one who needed a break from Guard talk and Canterlot’s political affairs.
Stepping outside, she found that Time had apparently slipped out for a smoke. He didn’t really seem like the type to her, but there he was, puffing away quietly with a pipe. The sun had sunk beneath the horizon some time ago, and the moon and stars were putting on a dazzling display tonight.
“Hey,” Derpy called, “mind if I join you?”
Time turned around in mild surprise but quickly nodded. “But of course. Er, you don’t mind, do you?” he asked, indicating his pipe. “Because I can stop if you want.”
“Nah, go right ahead, it’s fine,” she assured him. “I have to admit, though, I hadn’t pegged you as a smoker.”
“An old and bad habit I picked up in my youth, I’m afraid,” Time explained. “But I don’t do it nearly as much as I used to, just the occasional smoke here and there these days.”
Derpy nodded. “We all have our indulgences. I can’t exactly pretend that the amount of muffins I consume is healthy,” she said, offering a playful laugh. Time laughed in turn.
“Well said, well said indeed,” he concurred, chuckling.
“So, how’re you liking life in the sky?” Derpy asked.
“It is… something. It’s definitely something,” Time remarked. “I’ve done a bit of training in the past with settings like this, but I’ve never been up this high for this long. Certainly not doing something this… pedestrian. It’s weird to think that ponies live up here like this, day in and day out. Don’t you get cold?”
“Nah, pegasi are built for the cold. Come to think of it, we’re pretty good with extreme temperatures in general. Guess that’s one of the perks of your entire race dealing with weather so much on a regular basis.”
“What about the heights? I get that pegasi can fly, but what about kids who can’t yet?”
Derpy laughed. “Yeah, that is a bit of a problem. Trust me, though, we’ve gotten pretty good over millennia at looking out for the young’uns and foal proofing our homes. And you wouldn’t believe how early some parents manage to teach their kids how to fly. I swear, they’re starting them earlier all the time.”
“How old were you when you first flew?” he asked.
“Oh, about five or so,” Derpy replied, a sentimental smile slowly surfacing. “Mom was a feathering good teacher, that’s for sure.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… I didn’t know,” Time said apologetically, well aware from one of their earlier conversations a couple weeks back of what had happened to her mother.
Derpy just shrugged, though, not upset in the slightest. “Nothing to be sorry for. It’s a good memory, one of the best I have. Always happy to bring something like that up.” Time nodded understandingly, impressed by her patience and positive attitude.
“I will give you guys this, though,” he commented, “There’s no beating this view, that’s for sure.” They both took in the sight of the luminous moon and twinkling stars for some time in silence, a silvery-white orb attended upon on all sides by thousands of sparkling gems gathered upon the blackest canvas. For Time, the magnificent sight seemed closer and clearer than it ever had before, like he could touch it all if he just went a little bit further.
Derpy soon decided to proffer a question of her own. “You doing alright? With work and all, I mean. You and the commissioner seemed a little evasive when Nimbus asked about it.”
A sour expression flashed across Time’s features, and for a moment he seemed to waver between whether he should or shouldn’t answer. But after puffing away at his pipe for some time in silence, he finally decided he could trust Derpy, at least with a vague response. “Well… things could be better. We’re just in a bit of a rut right now is all. We’re working our flanks off, make no mistake, it just doesn’t feel like anything we do is making a difference at times. I hate that feeling. That empty, hollow feeling of futility, like you could have done something more than you did, but you don’t know what. It’s like incessantly bashing your head against a brick wall, hoping it might achieve something because you don’t know what else might work.”
Derpy nodded sympathetically. It wasn’t so long ago her own life had been quite similar. Although if she were being perfectly honest with herself, it still kind of was; having the tools to make a difference was nice and all, but only if you got to actually use them. So far, she hadn’t managed to hit on it, whatever it was she was meant to do with what she could do. Each second she still didn’t felt wasted, and she felt all the worse for it.
She quickly snapped herself out of her self-pitying thoughts, mindful that this was about Time, not her. “Don’t worry, I’m sure things will turn up for ya soon enough. You seem like a good detective, Time, like you really do want to do right by this town. Hard work and integrity like that pays off in the long run, and folks notice that kind of thing; I know for a fact that a lot of the ponies on my South Side routes sure have noticed. I hear ‘em talking about you quite a bit… in a good way, of course! They know you really care about them, about their neighborhood. Makes ‘em feel good to know that you’re looking out for them like that, and I think they’re thankful you showed up when you did.”
“You’re too kind. But thanks, that’s awfully generous of you to say,” Time said, giving an appreciative smile in return. “Gosh, you kinda sound like my mum. She used to always say… ah, forget it.”
Derpy raised a curious eyebrow. “No, c’mon, it’s OK, what’d she say? Nothing to be embarrassed about I’m sure.”
“Oh alright, but I’m telling you, it’s corny as a bad comedian. She used to say my special talent was ‘getting somewhere in the nick of time.’ Got this fella, you see,” he said, indicating his hourglass cutie mark, “when I helped save a friend from falling down while they were trying to fetch a cookie jar from the highest shelf in their house. I know, I know, pretty anti-climactic story if you ask me, though I suppose they could’ve seriously hurt themselves otherwise, so I guess that makes as much sense as any for what my cutie mark means.”
“Hey, that’s cutie marks for ya. Not always clear what they mean, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing either. Believe me, I should know,” she said, indicating her own cutie mark.
“For sure, for sure,” Time agreed. “Guess it was good I didn’t ever get too hung up on what it meant anyway. I mean, who knows, maybe my special talent is getting to places in the nick of time. Not sure how that could be a special talent, but you never know I suppose. But in any case, didn’t really matter to me one way or another; all I knew was that I wanted to watch out for other ponies when I got older, so police work and I fit together like peas and carrots.”
“Sure seems like it. In a way, I guess you could say you defined the cutie mark, right? Some ponies, they get theirs and they know what they’ll do for the rest of their lives just like that. Folks like you and me though? We don’t have that luxury. Sometimes ponies don’t know what to do with cutie marks like ours; they want that roadmap to life, and it can be comforting knowing what comes next, no doubt about it. But I think it’s even more exciting getting to make your own roadmap all on your own, don’t you?”
The familiarity of this conversation did not escape Derpy, and it felt oddly gratifying putting some of her lessons from Aucune and the Order to work, even if it stirred up some very recent, painful memories as well.
Time gave an impressed nod. “You know, I never thought about it that way, but I think you hit the nail on the head. Sure things can get a bit crazy at times, but I think it’s important taking life by the horns come what may. That’s what you went away for, right? To learn how to be the captain of your own ship.”
“You got it,” Derpy confirmed, glad she could at least be honest about that much, even if the details themselves were left out. It was pleasantly surprising how similar their views were in this particular matter; in hindsight, not too many of Derpy’s friends could’ve ever guessed some of her struggles before she’d left last year simply because they’d never had similar ones. The closest one who could relate to Derpy was Cloud, but her struggles had more to do with her family’s expectations of her than what she was good at. In fact, as far as Derpy could tell, Cloud had always been pretty much good at whatever she set her mind to, be it during her time at West Hoof, working on Ponyville’s weather team, or picking up mares and stallions. But friends like Carrot, Rainbow Dash, Blossomforth, Fluttershy, they’d all pretty much always known since getting their cutie marks what they wanted to do, to be, and what they wanted out of life. They knew what they were good at, and in turn were good at doing it. Derpy didn’t blame them for not being able to relate to her; the fact of the matter was, however, that none of them really could, and that was probably a big reason it had taken her so long to recognize there was anything wrong with her life in the first place.
Bah, what does it matter? Just water under the bridge now, no need dwelling on it. Still… maybe if I’d known Time sooner I could’ve learned a thing or two from him about me. Maybe I could’ve turned things around in my life more… normally with him.
As a friend.
Yeah… a good friend.
Gosh, what am I thinking, why does that matter either? You are who you are now, no changing that. No take-backs on the past at this point; I learned who I am my way, he learned who he is his own way. That’s all there is to it.
Before they could go any further in their conversation, they both became acutely aware of a commotion emanating from the cloud-house, and from the sound of things it was a rather heated one.
“Cloud, c’mon, be reasonable, she didn’t –”
“No, I’m done! You wanna stay, go ahead, but I am out! Can’t believe I thought this was a good idea, what the flying feather was I thinking?”
Cloud Kicker suddenly burst through one of the walls, clearly upset about something and startling Time at her sudden appearance. Derpy wasn’t fazed by her entrance (it was hardly unheard of for pegasi to pass through the walls and floors of their homes, just considered a bit rude and uncouth for them to do so at public gatherings, especially if they were guests in another’s home), but she was surprised by how angry she looked. Last she’d seen of her, Cloud seemed to be having a grand old time.
What the hay happened?
Blossomforth wasn’t far behind, vainly calling after her marefriend and trying to get her to stop flying away, and soon Nimbus appeared as well at the entrance of the ostium, her features as stone-faced as a statue.
“Cloud Kicker, please, get back here right this instant! You have no right to storm out of our home like this! Please, hear me out.”
That managed to get Cloud to stop in her tracks, but when she turned around it clearly wasn’t because she was in the mood to have a calm, quiet conversation. “Oh, I have no right!? How silly of me, I completely forgot who has to call all the shots around here. You’re just terrified at the thought of me making any decisions on my own, aren’t you? I’m not some special snowflake, mom, and I’m not some perennial buck-up that needs you or dad constantly watching out for me! Is it really just so hard to hope that you could, for just five seconds, trust that I can handle my own life? Is it?”
Nimbus wavered for just an instant, but quickly shot back, “Cloud, we’re not just talking about anything, you’re suggesting–”
“I know exactly what I’m suggesting, mom! You think I just picked this randomly out of a hat. I thought this through, I really did. I tried to play nice, I tried to compromise and meet you guys halfway, but I guess even that’s too much to ask. I swear, if you force Cirrus to say no… forget it, I’m out. I am just so sick and tired of this.” Without another word, Cloud flew away as fast as she could.
Blossomforth shot Nimbus a look of regret and said, “I’m sorry, Nimbus. I’ll talk to her, try to get her to calm down.”
“You’ve nothing to be sorry for, Blossom. Thank you for the offer, but please, take your time and don’t rush her. I suspect it’ll be some time before she and I speak again, and rightfully so; no sense in you upsetting her as well. Take care.” Blossomforth nodded and flew off in pursuit of Cloud. Tornado, Cirrus, and the others appeared shortly thereafter, wondering what the commotion was about.
“What on earth was that all about? Nimbus, what happened?” Tornado asked.
“I… I’ll tell you later. Could you make sure Alula didn’t get woken up, please? I’ll be in soon, I just… need some time is all.”
Tornado looked his wife over carefully but soon nodded. “Sure thing, honey. Well, I guess we better start wrapping things up. Sorry things are ending a bit abruptly, everyone.”
“No trouble at all, it’s getting late anyways. Thank you kindly for having us, sir,” Time said.
As everypony began exchanging goodbyes, Nimbus called over her shoulder, “Cirrus, could I speak to you for a moment?” Without a word, Cirrus trotted over to where his sister stood, a short distance away from the rest of the group.
“Thank you again, Mister Kicker for having us over. It was very kind of you and your wife to invite me,” Derpy said.
“Not at all, dear, it was our pleasure. I do hope we’ll be seeing more of you in the coming months; after all, any friend of Cloud’s is a friend of ours. Take care.”
“Thanks.” Turning to Time, she continued, “So, see ya around, Detective. I imagine that’ll probably be tomorrow morning at Sugarcube Corner, yes?”
“Bright and early as always, Miss Hooves. Until then, farewell, it’s been a pleasure.”
While Time and the other officers began to leave, Gale Gust called out to her husband, “Cirrus, dear, are you coming?”
“In a moment, honey.” Still chatting with Nimbus, Cirrus seemed to hurriedly finish up whatever it was they’d been discussing, and as he left Derpy managed to catch this much. “ –talk more about this later, but you needn’t be worried for now. I told you I won’t take her right now, and I meant it. That doesn’t mean, though, that I won’t ever, and if I think she can do it, you can’t really stop her and you know it. Just don’t worry about it, alright. Thanks for dinner, sis, you have a good night.”
With that, Cirrus flew over toward his wife, and together they leisurely flew off into the night. Nimbus remained stock-still where she stood, and after a moment’s hesitation, Derpy carefully approached her, taking slow, delicate steps.
Can’t hurt to check in on her, make sure she’s doing all right. Might not be my place to say anything, but she was kind enough to talk with me the other day. No reason I can’t do the same.
“Missus Gust, you OK?”
“Not particularly Derpy, no.” Her blunt assessment seemed about right judging from the look of her. Compared to her usual disciplined comportment, Nimbus now looked tired and worn down, her shoulders sagging just enough to be noticeable.
“What happened back there? I thought things were going pretty well with Cloud before. Why’d she just up and leave like that?”
Nimbus gave a weary sigh. “Because I’m still reaping what I sowed from years of being a bad mother, that’s why. Just when I think she can’t surprise me anymore, she goes and does just that.”
Derpy tilted her head in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“It was going so well. You’re not wrong about that. I put Alula to bed, and then Cloud and Blossom said they wanted to talk with me, alone. I knew where this would go, or thought I did, but at first even that seemed to go well. I was patient, we were calm and weren’t shouting. Cloud even finally admitted she understood that joining the Guard wasn’t the way to go at this point. She said that West Hoof probably wouldn’t have her back even if we weren’t trying to prevent it, and enlistment wouldn’t be a wise option either at this point. She could get deployed any moment wherever the Guard fancied sending her, which could be very problematic for her and Blossomforth, not to mention she has four years’ worth of training from West Hoof. She was trained to join the officer corps, not enlist as a grunt. No offense to our enlisted, but Cloud’s overqualified and was prepared for a completely different role. She was trained to lead at an advanced level, but she turned her back on that future, and tonight she admitted as much.
“I was proud of her for that. For a moment I let my heart soar, and my hopes overcame my prudence. I thought we were finally going to move on and start our new beginning. So I wasn’t ready for what came next.”
At this point, Derpy couldn’t possibly imagine what might have taken Nimbus off guard to such an extent. She patiently waited while Nimbus herself fell into a melancholy silence once more, staring off into space. Finally she continued, eyes still staring straight ahead.
“She said she now wants to become a police officer instead.”
Derpy was very thankful she was not eating at the moment, otherwise she might have choked to an unhealthy extent on her food. “Where the hay did that come from?”
“Well it’s not hard to see where. Cloud wants to protect others because she knows she can, and she’s still young and healthy enough to go through police academy and join a police force rather than try to get back into the Guard. Really, it’s not an illogical step for her to take.”
“OK… so what happened that caused her to freak out?”
Nimbus hung her head and sighed once more, this time in frustration. “I did nothing, that’s what. I did nothing, I said nothing, I was literally speechless. I couldn’t say yes to that, I just couldn’t, but at the same time… I wasn’t ready for it, and I couldn’t on the spot think of a good reason to say no either. I’m sure there are good reasons to say no, but at that moment I couldn’t think of any. In any case, she knew I didn’t want it, even after she’d clearly thought this through quite a bit. To her, I suppose that meant the old Nimbus was still there; the Nimbus who believes her daughter is a perpetual screw-up who can’t control her own life or figure out what’s best for her. And the sad thing is… maybe she’s right. Maybe I haven’t changed. Maybe I simply can’t at this point, no matter how much I want to.”
Forlorn despair dripped from every word she now said, a kind that Derpy was all too familiar with. It was the kind of hopeless sense that one could never change who they were, trapped being something they desperately didn’t want to be. Throwing every semblance of caution and decorum to the wind, she decided to do something crazy.
“Come on, Nimbus, don’t be like that. You’re a Royal Guard for crying out loud! Sorry if this sounds a bit harsh, but buck up, will ya?” That definitely grabbed her attention; it was rare for any pony to address Nimbus by her first name or with such candid words outside of close friends and family, much less one as young as Derpy. She turned and gave her a hard look, but didn’t say anything, allowing her to continue for the time being. Maybe she was too shocked to speak, or maybe she was simply curious about what exactly Derpy was about to do. Frankly, Derpy herself wasn’t entirely sure, but nonetheless words came out all the same.
“You’ve probably stared death in the face more than most ponies combined ever will, and you’ve come out on top every time. You’re the commander of one of the most elite companies in all of Equestria, and one of the heads of the last major pegasus clan. My mom may not have been much like you on the surface, but she didn’t just befriend anyone; she was kind and warm, but also courageous and tough as nails, and I know she looked for both qualities in others. If you were good enough to be one of her best friends then, well… she must’ve seen you could be both things just as easily as she could. You love your family and your children fiercely, enough that you’re willing to lay your life on the line for them time and time again. I don’t know about you, but in my book, that means you love Cloud, and also that you’re more than capable of changing who you are to her. So stop feeling sorry for yourself and just do it, because you and I both know very well you can! Now by all means, please throw me out and tell me never to come back again, because I have absolutely no idea where that just came from and I’m kinda freaking out about it like you wouldn’t even know.”
Derpy took a deep breath as she came to the end of what she was sure came off as spontaneous and totally random rambling. Much to her surprise, Nimbus did not immediately rebuke her for what amounted to lecturing an elder with significantly more years of experience and social standing than her. Instead, she just gave her a deadpan look that was simultaneously as curious as it was concerned for a silent moment that seemed to drag on far longer, Derpy was sure, than it actually lasted.
Finally, she shook her head in disbelief with a look of bewildered amusement fixed on her face. “My, my, my, you are full of surprises aren’t you? I had no idea you were that much like your mother; for a second there I could’ve sworn I was speaking to Ditzy once more. Sounded exactly like what she’d tell me in this situation.”
Derpy tried not to blush too much at the unexpected compliment. “Well… thanks. That’s really nice of you to say. But I just call ‘em like I see ‘em. You’ll figure this out, ma’am, and I’m sure Cloud won’t do anything stupid. Like you said, there’s actually some good reasons for her to want to be a cop. Then again, she might be acting a tad rash right now, so maybe she should wait before she reaches any definitive decision. I guess all we can do right now is encourage Cloud to take her time, think things through, and hopefully reach the right decision. Whatever that may be.”
Nimbus sighed but nodded. “You’re probably right. I don’t like being unable to calculate something’s outcome; a big reason I joined the Guard in the first place was to assert some control over my life. But I suppose I can take that need for control too far sometimes. I have to… I do trust that Cloud will do the right thing. I just want to be able to help her do it.”
“I’m sure she’ll get there with you. You’re not the only one looking out for her, after all. Between myself, Blossom, Commissioner Gust, and you and the rest of her family, I’m sure we’ll all be able to help Cloud make the right choice and patch things up between you two. Count on it.”
The older mare smiled but as soon as it came her smile quickly wavered and was swiftly replaced by a melancholic aspect. “You’re a good mare, Derpy. Me… I’m still working on it.”
“What do you mean?” Derpy asked, unsure if they were still talking about Cloud.
Once more Nimbus sighed, although this time she looked Derpy in the eye from the get-go. “I need to get something off my chest. Something I probably should have told you as soon as you got back. Tell me, have you… have you been in any contact with your father?”
Derpy immediately stiffened at the query, her jaw slowly dropping but, for a moment, unable to muster any words. She just dumbly shook her head before finally managing, “No… not for 17 years. Why?”
“Has he been in contact with you?”
You’ve got to be kidding me. You have got to be kidding me.
“No, but… he sent letters to Carrot. Why?”
You know why.
Pressing, hoping she was wrong, she added, “Do you know why?”
Nimbus nodded stiffly, closing her eyes as she determined how best to continue while Derpy weighed whether or not she should just fly off right now. But she couldn’t. Not after Cloud had already stormed out, not after what she’d just said; she had to hear Nimbus out, even if she knew what was about to come and that it was going to suck. “When you went missing, I… I reached out to your father. Tor and I were just starting to try to fix things between ourselves and Cloud, and I guess I saw some parallels between us and Hardy.”
Now it was Derpy’s turn to give Nimbus a hard look of her own. “What did you do?” she asked with the slightest edge to her words.
“I didn’t tell him to do anything, per se. I just told him you were missing… and where you were living before you left. And I… I reminded him that it was never too late for things to change. That he could if he really wanted to.”
Once more, Derpy simply asked, “Why?”
“Because… because deep down, I know that Hardy is good and decent. Your mother loved him, Derpy, because she saw the best in him; when she first started dating your father, I didn’t know what she saw. But I did in time, because she brought out how good he could be. She wouldn’t want this, Derpy. She wouldn’t want you two not talking, not being there for one another.”
“He left me!” Derpy cried out. If Nimbus was taken off guard by her sudden outburst, she didn’t show it. “He left me. He left me.” Again and again she said it quietly to herself, every reminder a fresh wound. Nimbus eventually extended a consoling hoof cautiously, and when Derpy didn’t recoil from her touch, she softly stroked her back.
“He did, and it wasn’t your fault. Don’t for a second even consider that. I’m not asking you to forget what he did. Forgetting won’t change anything or make anything better, but neither will holding on to your anger. What have you been telling me tonight, hm?”
“That ponies can change,” Derpy mumbled.
“Speak up, dear.”
“That ponies can change,” she said more loudly.
“Ponies can change,” Nimbus repeated. “If you believe that for me, then surely you can believe that for your father. But change, I’m afraid, isn’t always easy.”
“What are you saying?” Derpy asked tentatively.
“I’m saying he might need you if there’s to be any hope for him.” She left it at that, but her meaning was clear enough, much to Derpy’s chagrin. A thousand thoughts spun like little tops through her mind, overwhelming and exhausting. She wasn’t about to reach a decision in the next few minutes, that much was certain. She suddenly felt very tired, the sweeping breadth of the evening’s many, many events and unexpected quarrels and conflicts all at once coming home to roost. Shoulders sagging, she shook her head wearily.
“One last thing: what was he like?” she asked.
Nimbus took her time with that before finally answering, “He looked… empty.”
Turning toward her once more, Derpy quietly murmured, “Thanks again for dinner. I, uh… I should go. Got some thinking to do.”
Without another word, she departed from Nimbus’s side, leaping into the night air and spreading her wings as she began the flight back towards Ponyville. If Nimbus had had anything else to say, she didn’t bother, nor did she go after Derpy in pursuit.
Empty. Funny, that’s how I feel right now. Guess I really am his… whatever.
I’m not mad she did what she did. No, I’m mad at myself. I’m mad that after everything I’ve done, everything I’ve gone through, suddenly I find myself totally, utterly lost once more. At least in this I am.
I just don’t know if I’m ready for that. Right now, he’s… he’s everything I want to forget about who I was. But he’s also my… ah, forget it. No more life changing decisions tonight; right now I just need a warm bed and a soft pillow.
Home she went, ready to leave every care and anxiety behind after a long evening in the comforting touch of Luna’s dark, peaceful embrace.
Foggy Trotter was a stallion of simple thoughts and simple tastes. Booze, bits, and mares in excessive quantities were all he really wanted out of life; the respect and fear he inspired with the Trotter family name at his disposal were just extra perks next to those as far as he was concerned. As such, given that he was currently knee deep in the latter of the three things he loved most in life, his reaction to a series of knocks coming at his office door at that moment was rather predictable.
“Buncha mules, come back bucking later!” he hollered. When the knocking persisted, he grabbed a half empty bottle of liquor and threw it against the door.
The knocking stopped, but before Foggy could get back to his fun, a voice called out. “We need to talk, cretin.” The two mares with him gasped at the insult, sure that something ugly was about to go down, but Foggy’s own eyes just widened in recognition.
“Crap… alright, alright, come in.” The door swung open and in stepped a rust-colored unicorn who appeared thoroughly unamused by the sight before his eyes. “Alright girls, beat it,” Foggy commanded.
“Awww, but Foggy, the night’s only just begun,” one of the mares insisted.
“Yeah, we don’t mind. Your friend can even join in if he wants, the more the merrier!” the other said, giggling flirtatiously.
Foggy, however, just rolled his eyes in annoyance and barked, “I said beat it! Get out, scram!” He grabbed a hoofful of bits and tossed them at both ponies. Startled by his outburst, they quickly gathered up the bits and made themselves scarce in a hurry. Once they’d left, the newcomer closed and locked the door before pulling up a chair across from Foggy.
“Where’s your girl?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
Foggy grunted, but after grabbing and lighting a cigarette, which he proceeded to furiously puff away on, said, “With her brat. Not that I was complaining; I like getting to sample new wares. Was shaping up to have a pretty fun night all things considered before you showed up.”
The unicorn ignored Foggy’s snide complaint, leveling a cold, no-nonsense gaze at him, icy enough to send a chill down anyone’s spine. Foggy shifted uncomfortably in his seat and bowed his head apologetically. “OK, I can take a hint, sheesh! I’ll shut up now and stop complaining. Just cut it out with those damn eyes of yours, will ya?” The sickly yellow eyes lost none of their chill, but the intensity of his gaze somewhat relented. Foggy figured that was the best he could hope for and tried to lighten things up. “So, who are we this evening, Doc? Haven’t seen this face before.”
His guest shrugged. “Some nobody, just the way I like them. Inconspicuous, unrecognizable, and just another face in the crowd. What do you care?”
Foggy waved a placating hoof. “Nothing, just trying to make conversation is all. You’re a lousy talker, you know that?”
The guest clearly didn’t care, as he completely ignored Foggy’s latest comment and got right down to business. “We’ve got another special shipment coming in this week.”
Foggy nodded. “Usual pickup, same time, same place?”
His colleague, however, emphatically shook his head. “Are you kidding me? You’ve got a detective on your tail, and an honest, relentless one at that. You’ve been searched three times in the last month at places where something would have been turned up were it not for our contacts on the force. Until you get a handle on the situation, we are taking extra precautions. The pickup will be at an old mill further outside of town than the current location, and it will take place at 3 a.m.”
“You gotta be bucking kidding me!” Foggy exclaimed. “Three hours later than usual, buck that! You’re seriously losing your shit over some no-name do-gooder who has literally nothing on us?”
“He had enough to track down three solid leads right under your nose. Or did you forget that little detail already?” the unicorn coldly shot back.
Foggy winced and yielded. “OK, point taken. But I think you’re seriously overreacting to all this. As long as our boys keep feeding us info from the inside, we’ll be fine. Turner’s been a pain in the neck before, but he can’t get the drop on me if I’m being told his every move.”
“Be that as it may, we have responsibilities to meet and duties to uphold. You have a very cushy job which has given you a ridiculous sum of bits and every material pleasure you might desire for very little effort on your part; if you’re not willing to stay up late but a few nights and take some extra precautions, our benefactor’s not going to be happy with you. Not at all.”
“I got it, I got it, message received!” Foggy assured him. “Now, if you don’t mind, was there anything else? The night’s still young and I’d like to salvage it while I still can.”
“Just shape up, is that understood? You’ve been too cocky lately, buying up properties and muscling out competition far too quickly to go unnoticed. We’re supposed to be inconspicuous, but you are throwing your money and thugs around haphazardly. It needs to stop.”
Foggy frowned at that and raised a warning hoof. “Let me stop you right there, Doc. You’re not in the mob. You’ve never been in the mob. So don’t presume to tell me how to handle my affairs. In this business, appearances are everything; you’ve gotta put a little fear in the locals to get their respect. Why do you think the cops won’t go after me, hmmm? It’s because they respect and fear me, and know I run this place now. You don’t get to own a town by playing nice, but you also don’t get it with muscle and money alone; you’ve got to send a message that this is yours now, and make it loud and clear. Capiche? I would’ve thought you of all guys would be able to appreciate the value of striking fear in others, Doc.”
If that was supposed to impress ‘Doc,’ it didn’t work. Instead, he simply gave a derisive snort at Foggy’s lecture and glared at him with overt condescension. “Spare me, please. I’ve never been one for fairy tales. You can feed that garbage to your sycophantic toadies all you want, but don’t insult my intelligence. Just do what you’re supposed to do, including not drawing needless attention to ourselves, and we won’t have any issues. Is that clear?”
As infuriated as Foggy was by his colleague’s insulting attitude, he knew there was nothing he could do about it and, after a few seconds of fuming, relented and begrudgingly nodded. Mollified, Doc said, “Good. Well then, now that that’s over I’ve said my piece. Is there anything else? I wouldn’t want to keep you from getting back to your fun.”
Taking a moment to pour himself a drink while he thought it over, recognition dawned on Foggy’s face as he took a swig. “Oh yeah, there was something now that you mention it!”
“Does it involve taking care of someone?”
“Well yeah, sure,” Foggy replied, prompting his partner to roll his eyes yet again. “Oh come on, don’t give me that! If you were in my position and had a friend with your talents, you’d better believe you’d be taking advantage of that same as I am.”
Sighing, his annoyed associate asked, “Who is it?”
“Star Drop, one of my girls. Or was one of my girls. Bitch has been all uppity lately, asking for better pay and shorter hours, you know, all that nonsense.”
“Does the idea of working out a compromise completely elude you? I’m sure a far less risky course of action was at your disposal.”
“Please, she was asking for easily double what she’s actually worth. Besides, I’m not completely unreasonable. I was just gonna let her walk away with her tail between her legs if working at one of my joints wasn’t good enough for her, but then she decided to insult me. Tells me that whoremonger Midnight Marvel went and offered her even more than she was asking from me and that I could take my money and shove it where the sun don’t shine. As you can imagine, I can’t exactly take that lying down.”
“I wouldn’t exactly describe sicking me on her as defending your reputation for all to see. If you’re trying to send a message, my discretion sort of defeats that purpose.”
Foggy waved a hoof. “Oh please, anyone with half-a-brain cell can connect the dots when someone I don’t like disappears. Just comes with the added bonus of not getting tied back to me or you. Come on, buddy, it’s a win-win and you know it; I make an example of her, you get to do, uh… whatever it is you do to your ‘guests’. What do ya say?”
The unicorn mulled it over, silent as the grave, his features disconcertingly devoid of any emotion whatsoever. Finally he said, “Alright, I’ll do it, but only because I could use another one. Been some time since I had a good hunt too; most of my recent acquisitions have been delivered to me. I don’t like the circumstances of this one, though; if Midnight’s offering her that much, she’s clearly on hers and maybe others radar. Someone’s going to miss her, and you know I don’t like drawing attention to these.”
“She’s not that well known,” Foggy attempted to assure him. “Like I said, definitely not one of my top girls. I just think Midnight’s trying to make a fool of me is all. That or she’s letting her damn sentimentality get in the way of good business yet again. But don’t worry, it won’t cause us any trouble, I can assure you, especially if you’re the one doing it. Hay, I’ll even tell ya what spooks her as an added bonus.”
His associate sharply shook his head, raising a silencing hoof. “Please don’t. I like deconstructing them myself, taking them apart piece by piece with a raw impression of them. It’s more… challenging and exhilarating that way, in my experience.”
Foggy tried to suppress a cold shiver which began crawling down his spine. “Hey, whatever floats your boat, pal. Just do what you have to do, and do it tonight. She quit a couple days ago, but I know where she lives. Here ya go.” Scrawling her address onto a slip of paper, he hastily handed it over to his off-putting colleague.
After looking it over, he lit the slip in emerald flames emitted by his magic and said, “It’ll get done. I’ll let you know when it is. If you’d like, I can fill you in on all the details of her forthcoming experiences.”
Giving a weak chuckle, Foggy shook his head. “That’s OK, I’ll, uh… I’ll leave all that to you. Have fun, go crazy, all that jazz.”
Without another word, or so much as a smirk, the discomfiting figure left as suddenly as he’d come. Foggy breathed a quiet sigh of relief, glad that was over.
Never easy keeping up appearances around that guy. Freaky little bucker.
Pouring himself another drink, he harshly called out, “Girls, get back in here! Foggy needs some lovin’!”
Nothing like some good old fashioned hedonism to get his mind off of anything, even such an ominous character.
“There ya go Derpy, hayburger, onion rings, and a cider to wash it down,” Snowflake announced, depositing the food in front of her on the barroom counter.
“Thanks Snowflake, this is just what the doctor ordered,” Derpy replied before digging into her lunch.
The day’s workload was fairly light for a Saturday, so Derpy had managed to get through her deliveries rather quickly and decided to finish up at Midnight’s Delight and grab a quick bite there afterwards. After the awkward way dinner had ended the previous night, she decided she could use some unadulterated comfort food, and in that department Midnight’s Delight was more than qualified to provide. She’d gotten to be quite the regular face around there since it was on her regular route, so most of the girls and other employees were at least acquainted with her at this point. Truth be told, she had to admit that it was really one of her favorite stops in the South Side. Sure it wasn’t the sort of establishment she frequented, but there were good ponies there, lots of them. As out of place as it might seem at first glance, everyone there just seemed to fit right into Ponyville, and it all started with Midnight Marvel.
Beneath her sultry, carefree exterior lay a sharp mind with a keen business sense and a relentless, tireless spirit to be the best at what she did. Her club had to be the most well-kempt in town, not just the South Side, her food and drink had to be among the best one could ask for during a night on the town, and her employees had to not just offer adequate service, but be a major draw for the customers. The results spoke for themselves. Midnight’s Delight was packed every night, possibly busier than any club in town, though it was hardly the rowdiest. Ponies didn’t just come for the girls, they came for the good food, good drinks, and the promise of a great time no matter how the night went.
With so much to offer, the girls were often just window dressing for many, though of course that wasn’t always the case. But as Derpy had deduced when Time first described Midnight’s unorthodox business practices to her, even those activities worked out pretty well. Midnight was fiercely protective of her employees and wouldn’t dare let any customer touch them no matter who they were if she so much as smelled a whiff of trouble. If anypony wanted so much as a chance for a night with one of her girls, they had to have the money for a room, be sober enough, and most importantly of all treat each and every one of them with a reasonable level of respect from the moment they walked through the door. After all those requisites had been met, even if Midnight gave her girls the greenlight on a customer, it was still up to them whether or not they’d do anything with them. If they chose not to, the customers would just have to settle for the eye candy onstage.
Since everypony knew that Midnight didn’t mess around when it came to her rules (and also that she had the best girls in town if you were looking for a good time), her system worked like a charm. She and her employees got to make a bundle in a safe work environment, and their customers were guaranteed a great time as long as they kept a handle on themselves. Derpy smiled to herself after taking a draft from her cider.
Entrepreneurship at its finest. What’s not to love about that?
The place was currently empty for the most part, no surprise seeing as it was just a little after one in the afternoon and on any given day things normally didn’t start really hopping until after nine in the evening. There were, however, a peculiarly high number of employees present, most of them either going to and from Midnight’s office or whispering feverishly amongst each other. While Derpy was hardly one to eavesdrop, this was all curious enough that she was willing to make an exception.
Ears perking up, she listened in as inconspicuously as possible on whatever she could catch, concentrating her eyes on the remainder of her meal so as not to draw unwanted attention.
“– no sign of Star at her place.”
“– nothing around town either as far as –”
“– don’t think she skipped town, do you?”
“Rotten. That’s what this all smells like, R-O-T –”
“– he wouldn’t… would he?”
“Can’t throw anything past Foggy, weaselly little –”
Yup, something’s definitely up.
The whispering ceased, however, as soon as Midnight suddenly emerged, announcing her arrival with a slam of her office door. Derpy had seen her mad before, but never as tightly wound up as she currently was; usually, whether she was in a good or bad mood, there was still a natural looseness in the way she carried herself. At the moment though she looked stiff as a board.
With a single, thunderous stomp of one hoof, Midnight drew all eyes toward her. “Alright, enough of this, all of you! Quit gossiping like a bunch of hens and find something more productive to do. Celestia knows there’s a mountain of better ways to spend your time right now, especially when I’m the one paying you to spend it here.”
One of the girls, Satin Sheets if Derpy was remembering right, said, “But Midnight, what about Star? We’ve got to do something!”
Midnight emphatically shook her head. “You leave any doing to me, understood? My employees are my responsibility first and foremost, and if I hear so much as a whisper that any of you decide at any point to go behind my back on this, you’ll be outta here faster than my last one-night stand. Do I make myself clear?”
Her employees glanced at one another uneasily for a long moment, but finally each relented and nodded. Satisfied, Midnight waved a dismissive hoof. “Good. Now go on, shoo, all of you. Looking to be a packed Saturday evening, and I want this place spotless and ready for anything.” The girls went their way, scattering to and fro, and once it looked like they’d all found something to occupy themselves with Midnight let loose a heavy sigh and dragged herself behind the bar counter. Without even acknowledging Derpy, she grabbed a bottle from the top of the shelf and poured herself a drink that looked as stiff as it was sizeable.
After she’d downed half of it, in one gulp no less, Derpy decided to pry, carefully. “Rough day?” she asked.
“You don’t know the half of it,” Midnight groused, scowling down at her drink.
“Woof. So what’d Foggy do now?”
“Damn gossipy hens,” Midnight muttered. “Never you mind, dear, nothing you need concern yourself with. Let’s just call it… high-stakes competition between two business rivals and leave it at that.”
That non-answer was barely even a generality, and Derpy pressed further. “What kind of stakes are we talking about here?”
“The kind that silly little mailmares shouldn’t go around asking about!” Midnight snapped. Almost immediately after that outburst, she scowled at herself and took another drink. “Buck, sorry about that. I’m a real shithead when I drink while I’m pissed off.”
“Nah, it’s cool,” Derpy assured her, even if honestly she was more than a little concerned by her behavior at the moment. Whatever had happened, it must’ve been really bad to get Midnight this worked up.
At that moment, things took an unexpected turn for the worse when Firecracker suddenly showed up, laden with a saddlebag. While she appeared upbeat as usual, Midnight stared daggers at her and seemed to get even more riled up than she already was.
“Hey you! Yeah you, hot stuff!” she shouted mockingly at Firecracker, evidently startling her.
“Midnight, wha–”
“If your pimp daddy wants to buck around with me some more, you tell him to fight me face to face, cause if that spineless, rat-faced bastard dares lay a hoof on any of my girls ever again I’ll break him open like a piñata to see what’s inside!”
Both Derpy and Firecracker’s jaws dropped at once, but anger swiftly replaced Firecracker’s initial shock. Flinging her saddlebag from her back without a second thought, she hollered, “What the buck are you talking about!?”
“Star Drop’s missing, you naïve piece of arm candy. Nopony’s seen her around town all day, and she wasn’t anywhere to be found at her place.”
Derpy had no idea who Star Drop was, but this news seemed to catch Firecracker off guard. Speechless for but a moment, she weakly stuttered, “W-well maybe she packed up and left town, you don’t–”
“Her place hadn’t been touched! The door was open, everything she had was still there, buck, there was even food on the table. It’s clear as day what happened, Firecracker. Your pimp was pissed off at Star for telling him off and coming to work for me. Do the math, it ain’t hard to put two and two together, even you can’t deny that.”
Oh horsefeathers, this is serious! No wonder Midnight’s so upset. Still, even if Foggy had something to do with this, that doesn’t mean Firecracker did; judging by her reaction, this is clearly the first she’s heard about this. Best try to get a lid on things before these two get at each other’s throats.
Calm but firmly, Derpy implored, “Come on Midnight, look at her, she’s speechless. Whatever happened, I’m pretty sure Firecracker had nothing to do with it, and you know that as well as I do. Let’s not lose our heads here.”
Midnight seemed to lose a little bit of the angry red in her face, but turned an annoyed look upon Derpy. “No offense, Derpy, but this really isn’t any of your business, so if you don’t mind, we could use some space right now.”
Derpy, however, didn’t budge. “You’re my friends, and the wellbeing of my friends is my business whether you like it or not. Now please calm down before somepony says something we’ll all regret.” She laid a hoof upon Midnight’s shoulder and looked her straight in the eyes. She realized it must’ve been the first time Midnight had seen her eyes straight based on the slightly perturbed look she received, but didn’t care. At the very least it might show her just how serious she was about what she’d said.
Her words must’ve made some sort of impression, because Midnight soon finally relented and softened her gaze. “OK, OK, I’ll… try to be civil, for what that’s worth. Fire, I’m… well, not sorry for what I said, but sorry for the way I said it.”
It wasn’t exactly much of an apology, but Firecracker didn’t even seem to notice. “I… fine, whatever, I have to go.” Her disposition now thoroughly troubled and distraught, Firecracker hurried out without another word. A moment later her sister appeared from upstairs.
“Um… is everything alright?” Snowflake asked.
Downing the rest of her drink, Midnight bluntly replied, “Nope.”
“Oh.”
“Snowy, dear, why don’t you take the rest of the day off? I think your sister could use some company right now that isn’t me,” Midnight suggested.
After a moment’s hesitation, Snowflake slowly nodded. “Alright, but only if you’re sure. I’ll see what I can do, but honestly, I can’t promise I’ll be able to do all that much. Can’t hurt to try though.” Briskly departing, Snowflake trotted off after her older sister, leaving Derpy and Midnight once again alone.
Pouring herself another drink, Midnight dryly remarked, “Well that was fun.”
“Midnight, seriously,” Derpy said, “is there anything I can do to help?”
Shaking her head, Midnight, no longer miffed or sullen so much as simply melancholy, said, “Derpy, hon, you’re a real sweetheart and I appreciate the thought, but unless you’re thinking of filing the police report for me, there’s really nothing you can do I’m afraid. Nothing that wouldn’t get you in a world of trouble, at least.”
“You’re absolutely sure something’s up?”
“Sure as a timberwolf’s snout,” Midnight answered. “Star couldn’t wait to start working with me; Foggy treated her like dirt and pretty much paid her as much to boot. After everything she had to put up with, this job was a dream come true for her. Real sweet kid, and there’s absolutely no way she would’ve missed her first day on the job.”
“I just can’t–”
“Derpy, let it go,” Midnight implored. “Poke around in the wrong places enough and you’ll just get yourself hurt, or worse.”
But she couldn’t let it go, not when she could do so much. If there really was nothing she could do it wouldn’t be so bad. But now, there it was again, just like the previous night: the guilt. The guilt of apathy and idleness. Her home had a sickness and was in trouble, and with all she now knew she was and could be, she simply felt no right to play the helpless bystander.
She was wasting time, and it made her sick to her stomach. Only her anger about everything going on could surpass that feeling, and even that couldn’t keep her mind off of her own remorse for long.
Something had to be done, and whatever it was, in her heart of hearts she knew she could do it. She could make the difference that Ponyville so desperately needed.
Or maybe these were just the deranged fantasies of a silly little mailmare trying to poke around in the wrong places. Maybe she wouldn’t find her answer or Ponyville’s. Maybe there wasn’t one. Maybe all they could do was brace themselves and hope for the best.
Gloom setting in, she hung her head and breathed a heavy sigh imparting much of the frustrating despondency she was currently feeling. It coursed through her veins like a black, poisonous lifeblood; she didn’t want one bit of it, and yet she needed it, every last bit, to push her to find the answer. Even if there wasn’t one, she had to keep looking.
“How much do I owe ya?” she asked Midnight, scrounging up some bits from her saddlebag.
“Let’s see… for the meal and cider, seven bits.”
Grabbing a hoofful of bits, she slid them across the counter to Midnight. “Here’s ten, figure Snowflake could use a nice tip today.”
Midnight nodded. “Much obliged, thanks.”
As Derpy began gathering her things to leave, she noticed out of the corner of her eye what appeared to be a magazine of some sort on the floor beside her. “Hey Midnight, what’s that?”
Picking it up, she hoofed it over to Midnight to look at. “Firecracker must’ve dropped it on her way out,” Midnight speculated. “I’m guessing it’s for Silver; you know how kids are with their comic books, right?”
Taking a closer look, Derpy saw that it was an issue of Mistress Marevelous. The cover featured the titular hero leaping into action amidst a seemingly countless mob of thugs and evildoers, jaw clenched and teeth grit in a defiant scowl. She chuckled softly to herself.
“Yeah, that colt sure does love his superheroes, huh?”
“Oh yes,” Midnight agreed. “Then again, what colt or filly doesn’t? Horse apples, maybe they’re onto something; I don’t know about you, but I sure don’t mind the idea of a superhero. Not a bad idea at all, if you ask me.”
“Yeah, I guess not,” Derpy concurred.
That’s when it happened. The second the words left her mouth, something just clicked. In an instant, what started as the raw spark of inspiration rocketed into every corner of her mind, a fireworks show of ideas multiplying exponentially every second. So sudden was the revelation that Derpy’s breath caught in her chest, eyes widening and body going rigid. In the unforeseen deluge of ideas, one word kept resounding throughout her psyche again and again, drowning out everything else.
Eureka!
Grabbing her saddlebag, Derpy turned and hoofed it out of there as fast as she could go, barely even sticking around long enough to call out, “Thanks for lunch, Midnight! Sorry, can’t stay and chat, just remembered I have some place to go, talk to ya later, bye!”
Just like that, she was gone. Left alone once more, Midnight shook her head in bemusement, chuckling to herself between sips of her current drink. “Wonder what’s gotten into that mare?” she mused to herself.
If she had known, she would’ve needed a stiffer drink.
Even by Ponyville’s standards, Golden Oak Library was an excessively comfortable and homey place. Neither too roomy nor too snug, the hollowed-out tree was just the right size for the town’s denizens, which was probably why more than a few of Ponyville’s larger gatherings were so often held there. It was a place really anypony could feel at home in almost immediately, perfect for relaxing in on a lazy afternoon and curling up inside with a good book by your side.
Thus, given the tranquility-inducing nature of the entire place, it was more than understandable that the library’s resident dragon was more than a little perplexed by the current visitor’s feverish behavior.
For the past few hours, with nary a word said to Spike, Derpy had been flitting about left and right from bookshelf to bookshelf, scanning titles and skimming through page after page. In one corner of the library she’d gathered a small collection of books, and it was an odd hodgepodge of titles to say the least. History texts and mythological literature lay side by side comic books and even a few Daring Do novels. If she’d been making more of a ruckus or a huge mess Spike might’ve said something by now, but truth be told Derpy wasn’t being all that disruptive and it was a pretty slow afternoon at Golden Oak anyways, with only a couple of other visitors in the meantime, so he let her be while he tended to some minor chores, though he remained curious as to what exactly she was up to.
The sound of the front door opening momentarily drew his attention away from Derpy and he found that Twilight had returned from some errands she’d been attending to with her friends.
“Hi Spike, how’re things going he- Spike, what’s this pile of books doing on the floor?” she asked with irritation.
“What? Hey, don’t look at me, that was –” he looked back but stopped midsentence when he realized Derpy had disappeared somewhere.
“Spike, what have I told you about talking back, hmmm? Now where did this mess come from, because it sure as Celestia didn’t make itself?” she demanded. Spike was about to explain when suddenly a grey blur flew down from the top of the stairs and over Twilight’s head, startling her.
There was Derpy once more, flying circles around the room while she paged through a few more books she’d scrounged up before depositing them on her pile like a dragon adding to his hoard. Spike shot a look of vindication over at Twilight, but she didn’t notice, appearing even more puzzled by the sight before her than Spike had been all afternoon.
“Spike, what’s she doing?” she whispered.
“Uh, pretty sure she’s just using the library,” he deadpanned. “You know, the place where you go to get books?”
“Oh you know what I mean,” Twilight hissed back. “Why does she have so many? She can’t possibly be planning on checking all of those out.”
“Yeah, cause nopony would ever need that many books,” Spike commented under his breath, smirking to himself.
Twilight heard his wry remark but let it go, still puzzling over Derpy’s presence. She was hardly a regular visitor to the library. Not that she was illiterate or anything (to Twilight’s knowledge), and to be fair most ponies in town were irregular visitors to the library by her standards, but still, she couldn’t recall the last time anypony had looked for so many books here in such a frantic manner. Well, besides herself, of course.
Well, no better place to start unraveling this mystery than with the mare in question herself. “Hi Derpy, is there anything I can help you with?” she asked in a friendly manner. Derpy, however, didn’t appear to hear her, still hovering in the air and fixated on the current text she was skimming through.
“Uh, Derpy… yoohoo… Derpy Hooves… Derpy!” Twilight finally exclaimed with just a touch of exasperation. Much to her relief, Derpy finally looked up, glancing behind her shoulder in Twilight’s direction.
“Oh, hey Twilight, didn’t see ya there!” she said sheepishly, dropping her most recent acquisition atop her pile. Landing in front of Twilight and Spike, she looked at both of them expectantly. “So what’s up?”
“Well, not trying to sound rude or anything, but I was just wondering what it is you’re up to? That is an impressive collection of books you’ve got going on over there, after all. What exactly is on your mind, if you don’t mind my asking? Perhaps I can help.” Twilight flashed a helpful smile her way, but Derpy somewhat waffled at the offer, biting her lower lip and looking away from her.
“Oh… it’s nothing, really. Just really felt like feeding my inner bookworm today, you know?” She gave a weak chuckle, but quickly realized the error she’d made.
“Oh, but of course I do!” Twilight exclaimed, beaming. “I mean, not to brag, but my inner bookworm is kind of a ravenous beast. Seems like I’m always on the prowl to find a new flavor of tome in order to sate its hunger. Science, history, literature, philosophy, any flavor will do so long as I keep ‘em coming. So, what’s your flavor of the day today, hmmm? Let’s see what we’ve got here.”
Trotting over to the pile, Twilight flipped through the varying titles, levitating them in front of her one by one. Judging by the way her brow furrowed, Derpy could tell she was trying to comprehend what exactly Derpy was after.
“Huh. That’s… certainly an odd assortment you’ve got there,” Twilight remarked. “Care to explain what comic books and Equestrian histories have to do with one another, or were you just looking to check out a wide variety in bulk? I mean, technically you can if you want, our item limit is 100 total items after all, but you might have some trouble getting all of that home.”
Rubbing the back of her neck, Derpy hastily sought to come up with a believable enough of an excuse. “Well it’s uh… I’m not actually looking into any of this for myself, you see,” she began.
“I… don’t actually know who that is,” Twilight admitted.
Thank Celestia.
“Oh Silver? Yeah, he’s great,” Derpy assured her, nodding enthusiastically. “Cute little guy living in the South Side. His mom’s one of the mare’s on my route so I see him all the time.”
“Oh, I see,” Twilight said.
“Well anyways, Silver’s crazy about comic books and superheroes, all kinds of stuff like that,” Derpy went on, “so I figured why not turn his pastime into an educational opportunity? I figure if he likes superheroes so much, maybe he’d love to read about some of the heroes from Equestrian history and mythology who may have inspired them. That’s not weird is it?”
The second Twilight’s eyes lit up with an excitement that’d be hard for anypony to match, Derpy knew she’d read her like a, well, like a book.
Oh yeah, she’s hooked. Might just be able to use this to my advantage.
“Oh, it’s not weird at all!” Twilight proclaimed. “Believe me, I wish more ponies in this town were concerned with educating Ponyville’s youth, and this sounds like an absolutely splendid and downright inventive way of doing so! Seriously, you have no idea what a breath of fresh air this is to hear.”
“Great, glad you think so! So, if you don’t mind my asking, got any recommendations?” Derpy asked. “Don’t get me wrong, I’d offer all of these to the little guy if I could, but you know how colts and their attention spans at a young age can be. So, what in your opinion are the absolute must-reads when it comes to Equestrian heroes, because I’m sure you’d know better than I would?”
“Well as far as I’m concerned, they’re all must-reads,” Twilight asserted, but after rubbing her chin thoughtfully for a moment continued, “But I understand your point. Let me take another look and pick out some of the real gems for you to check out for him.”
Practically diving into the pile now, the elated unicorn started scanning the titles once more at a remarkable pace, occasionally selecting one out of the bunch and tossing it over with her magic to Spike, who caught and stacked them as though it were as routine as making his bed. After she’d selected somewhere around a dozen titles, she seemed satisfied.
“Alright, that should be a nice start for Silver,” she stated.
“Great, thanks so much Twi-”
Suddenly Twilight gasped and darted from the room, leaving a very surprised Derpy and a very unsurprised Spike behind. Just when Derpy was about to ask him what exactly just happened, Twilight returned as suddenly as she’d departed, levitating a rather hefty-looking book by her side.
“I cannot believe I almost forgot about this!” she exclaimed. “Tacitrot’s The Annals is an absolute must-have, in fact, as far as I’m concerned Silver should start with this!”
“The Annals, huh? I don’t know Twilight, it looks a little… substantial for a colt his age,” Derpy suggested. “What’s it even about? Sounds a bit sweeping if you ask me.”
“Oh it’s anything but,” Twilight assured her. “Well, OK, it may cover the history of Equestria from its founding through the aftermath of the Lunar Rebellion, but that’s beside the point! Tacitrot was an incredible writer, and The Annals is simply his finest work. He has this way of making so many of the figures involved in early Equestrian history seem larger-than-life, and trust me, there’s more than a fair share of heroes in it, including quite a few most fillies and colts never learn about. I’m telling you, it’s exciting stuff and he’ll love it!” Beaming like a filly on Hearth’s Warming morning, Twilight levitated the book in front of Derpy, allowing her a closer look.
Obscure heroes, eh? Well, maybe this is worth taking a look at. Besides, I already let one piece of long lost Equestrian history change my life; who’s to say another couldn’t?
“You know Twilight, that does sound like something Silver might like. After all, I’m sure you of all ponies can be trusted when it comes to book recommendations,” she said with a wink.
“No problem Derpy, and don’t forget to tell Silver to come on by and get his own library card. Now come on, let’s get these books checked out for you,” Twilight replied cheerily. Once they’d gotten that taken care of, Twilight carefully slid all the books into Derpy’s saddlebags. It was a heavy enough of a load, but nothing she couldn’t handle. “I have to say, I’m so happy to see how well you’ve readjusted to being back home. I don’t know what exactly changed for you while you were gone and after you met that Full Heart fellow, but whatever it was, you’re different, that’s for sure.”
Nodding in concurrence, Derpy remarked, “Heh, you have no idea how right you are.”
“Derpy, dinner’s almost ready!” Carrot called from downstairs.
“OK, I’ll be down soon,” Derpy replied, not peeling her eyes away from the text before her. Since she’d gotten home, she’d cooped herself up in her room with the books she’d checked out, though so far all she’d looked at was The Annals. Twilight sure hadn’t been wrong, the work was chock-full of accounts of some of early Equestria’s most legendary figures. That said, despite coming across hero after hero so far, nothing had really stood out to Derpy for her purposes. Simply put, the inspiration she was looking for had not struck.
Turning a page, her breath caught in her chest when she suddenly found herself confronted with a passage about the Order. Flipping through, she saw that Tacitrot had given them quite a few pages from the looks of things.
Guess this Tacitrot fellow was even more thorough than I thought. I’m impressed. Still, that’s not the answer. I know what they are, at least today, and it’s sure as hay not what I want to be. But… it is on the right track.
She continued to skim, going through page after page, and yet, still nothing. She was over halfway through by now, and was starting to fear that she wouldn’t find what she was looking for. Whatever that was, she still couldn’t say, but if she couldn’t find it in something this dense and thorough, who was to say she’d be able to find it in any of the other books she’d checked out?
Nothing… nothing… nothing… no- wait.
A small header was all that caught her eye, unassuming and easy to miss. But something about it seemed promising. She couldn’t put her hoof on it, but the second she spotted it, something about it latched onto her and wouldn’t let go.
The Dark Knights.
“Hmmm, now what do we have here?” she wondered aloud.
A half hour later Carrot came storming into the room, red as a cayenne pepper.
“Derpy,” she said, fuming, “I have been calling your name for the last twenty minutes. Your food is now cold, and I wanted you to try some of the new varieties of carrots I’ve been growing lately to get some good feedback on them. I really don’t appreciate being ignored, so if you would be so kind, please, tell me what is so important that you refuse to come down? Are you even listening to me?!”
Derpy finally looked up from her text, glancing at Carrot with a half-surprised look as if she had only just now realized she was even standing there. Carrot was about to chide her some more when she noticed that her heart seemed to be beating out of her chest. Then she got a good look at her face.
A bizarre combination of excitement, nervousness, terror, and euphoria seemed to dance upon her features, as though a million emotions were whirling through her at hurricane speeds. Her eyes, however, were another story; for lack of a better word, they looked alive, more alive than ever before. Something glimmered from within, and they seemed virtually radiant, glowing with a white-hot energy.
Carrot took a step back, at a loss for words.
“I found it. I found it Carrot,” Derpy uttered, breathless.
“You… you found what?” Carrot asked, almost fearfully. Even after everything that had happened since Derpy’s return, she could honestly say she’d never seen her like this in all the years they’d known each other.
“I found it. What I’ve been looking for. It kept slipping away, but I finally found it.” In a single bound she was at Carrot’s side, shoving the yellowed pages of the old book she’d been fixated upon in her friend’s face. “My destiny.”
For a few moments Carrot just read in silence, starting with the passage Derpy seemed to be indicating titled ‘The Dark Knights.’ As she read, her initial bewilderment turned to confusion. “Uh… OK, what am I looking at here? What does this have to do with your ‘destiny’?”
“Carrot, think about it,” Derpy began. “Things aren’t right in this town, our town. Don’t try to deny it. You know it, and I know it, everypony knows it. Some aren’t willing to say it, most don’t know what to do about it, but everypony knows it. The South Side, the thugs, crooks, organized crime. Organized crime, Carrot! In Ponyville, of all places! Something is terribly wrong here, and somepony needs to get to the bottom of it. I am in the unique position of having the skills to do just that, and even better most ponies don’t even know it! I’m nopony, Carrot, just another face in the crowd. Don’t you see? This is it. This is how I can make a difference.”
“What are you even talking about?” Carrot asked in exasperation, clearly not on the same page as Derpy.
“I’m going to be a Dark Knight.”
Carrot dropped the book and threw her hooves into the air, doing a rather impressive double-take. “OK, you have officially lost me! You’re going to be what now?”
“Come on Carrot, you know what I said, you were just reading about them,” Derpy insisted, her face dead serious.
“Yeah, and that’s why you’ve lost me, or did I imagine the part where these guys haven’t been around for over a thousand years? Unless of course you’ve suddenly stumbled upon another ancient, super-secret order that seemingly went extinct but really has just been in hiding all these centuries… oh please tell me that’s not what happened!”
“Oh don’t be ridiculous,” Derpy scoffed. “These guys aren’t around anymore. Well… I’m pretty sure they aren’t. Like, ninety-nine percent sure.”
“So what in Celestia’s name do you have anything to do with these Black Guards or whatever they are?” Carrot demanded, her voice rising by the second.
“Dark Knights,” Derpy corrected her, raising her own voice in turn. “And to answer your question, well… nothing. Yet.”
“So why are we even having this conversation?”
“Because, Carrot, I could! This is what I can be, this is what I can do. The Dark Knights are exactly how I can help our town, the home you and I love. I need you to follow me, please.” Taking a few deep breaths, Derpy steadily calmed herself down. If she was going to have any chance of convincing Carrot to go along with this, she needed to be as cool and collected as possible; the last thing she could do was come off as hysterical. “So I was at Midnight’s earlier, alright? There’s whispers going on there of some mare who just went missing, like a lot of ponies it seems lately. And I’m just sitting there feeling like a useless turd for not doing anything, when I… OK, I know how this is gonna sound, but hear me out. I… spotted one of Silver’s comic books. That’s when it hit me.”
She gave Carrot a minute to process that, unsure whether or not doing so was a good idea. But she figured that maybe if Carrot figured it out on her own rather than hearing it from her it might not sound so crazy.
It didn’t take long for Carrot to connect the dots. When she did, she took a few calming breaths of her own and shut her eyes before responding. “I really hope I’m wrong about this, but I don’t think I am. Are you telling me, in all seriousness, that you want to be a… a superhero?”
Biting her lower lip, Derpy leaned her head back and stared at the ceiling before finally giving a resounding nod. “Yes.”
Without another word, Carrot turned and left. Blinking in surprise, Derpy called after her, “Wait, Carrot, c’mon let’s talk about this!”
Carrot, however, didn’t even glance behind her shoulder. “Nope, I’m done. It’s late, I’m tired, I had a long day, and I am not having a conversation this insane right now. Eat your food downstairs and go to bed, or don’t, whatever, I don’t care. But this? This is not happening right now. I know you’re feeling pretty crappy about not doing more, and yeah, things are different around here, but you have no proof that it’s as bad as you’re saying. Just trust me, sleep it off and you’ll be thinking straight in the morning. Now goodnight.”
Turning into her own bedroom, Carrot slammed the door shut behind her. Derpy knew her well enough to know when she was simply in no mood to talk, and now was definitely one of those times. However, that didn’t mean she wasn’t upset by her reaction. On the contrary, she was just as angry as Carrot was; it was one thing for her to think her idea was crazy, but to not even give her the time of day to explain it truly hurt. They were friends, best friends, and best friends didn’t just write one another off like they weren’t worth the time.
After the day she’d had, now capped off with this last bit of unpleasantness, it was finally about to turn into one of those nights; the kind nopony wanted but sometimes needed, or at least thought they did at the time. Heading downstairs, Derpy bypassed Carrot’s now-cold dinner sitting atop the stove and headed straight for the fridge. Grabbing a bottle of Sweet Apple Acres cider, she twisted the bottle cap off and in one swift move began guzzling it down. She continued like this for some time, but in what seemed like no time at all one bottle turned into four, emptied of all their contents. Likewise, in that same indeterminate span of time, one sober, angry pegasus turned into one drunken, even angrier pegasus. A drunken, angry pegasus now liable to do something rather stupid.
Naturally, that’s just what she decided to do. Grabbing an old, black hoodie from her closet, she threw it on before heading out the door into the crisp night air, determined to either do something useful for a change or get into a world of trouble for her efforts.
Let’s see what we’ve got tonight. Oh great, another missing pony report, fantastic. Suppose I should be thankful there’s a report at all.
Hunched over his paperwork-cluttered desk, Time took a sip of coffee as he read through the report. With a force this small everypony had to work graveyard shifts once in a while, and tonight was one of his. Unfortunately neither Officers Frost nor Flowers were in tonight, and Time didn’t know or trust any of the other officers well enough to go out this late on patrol with them, especially in the South Side. So he’d opted instead to manage the police station and its skeleton crew for the night. In spite of the lamentably late hours, it was at least a good time usually to catch up on some paperwork, especially any interesting reports which had initially slipped past his notice such as the one he was now reading.
Miss Star Drop, eh? Interesting. Got a bit of a connection to Foggy with this one. It’s not much, but rare enough that I’ll take it. Might definitely be some actual leads to pursue on this one, imagine that.
Just out of the corner of his eye, something suddenly caught his attention. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he could’ve sworn something had just sped past him, concealed by the shadows. This late at night it was very hard to tell, as the station was only partially lit in a number of areas. Oftentimes walking through the dark halls could feel rather eerie, especially if one was walking alone. One never knew when they might suddenly get that inexplicable, foreboding feeling that they were not alone, even if there was no merit to such unfounded dread.
Peering around the corner of his cubicle, Time scanned the hall left and right, just to be sure. He was hardly the jumpy, excitable sort, but for some strange reason which he couldn’t explain he had a hunch that this was more than his mind or senses playing tricks on him. Still, it was late at night and he was hardly at his most alert, so for all he knew maybe he had made an honest mistake. At any rate, after giving the office a thorough onceover, he’d spied neither hide nor hair of anything amiss. With a shrug, he sat back down at his desk and returned to reviewing the latest missing pony report.
A short time later after he’d read through it and downed a couple more cups of coffee in the process, he got up and headed toward the commissioner’s office upstairs. He figured it couldn’t hurt to review some incidents from the past year and compare them to this latest one, and thankfully the commissioner had discretely entrusted him with a spare key to his office in case he ever needed to fetch any materials from it when he wasn’t around.
However, he found himself on the receiving end of a rather nasty shock when he discovered the door to the commissioner’s office was already unlocked. For a moment he didn’t move, didn’t breathe, didn’t blink, just listened as intently as he could for anything, anything at all.
Maybe… maybe he just forgot to lock it. Yeah, maybe… maybe… oh who am I kidding? Him forget? No way. Not in a million years.
Just as he resolved to storm in there in the next five seconds, a crash came from inside and without a second’s hesitation he burst in. It was hard to see in the darkened space, but his eyes were immediately drawn to the office window; it appeared that the commissioner’s chair had been thrown against it, but to his bewilderment the glass was only cracked.
Right, reinforced glass, tough stuff. But who the buck threw it?
That’s when he realized his mistake. Spinning around, he felt a rush of something zipping over his head and just caught a glimpse of a tail pealing around the corner of the door. Acting on instinct he set off in pursuit, cursing himself for failing to take into account that the intruder might be a pegasus.
Stupid! Yes Time, there are ponies who have wings, hadn’t you heard? Just what the hay is going on?
“Stop in the name of the law!” he called out, though the way this guy was running he already knew that old line wouldn’t work. At that moment a couple of the other officers on duty came up from the first floor, apparently drawn by the commotion being made.
“We’ve got an intruder!” Time called. “Come on, he’s heading for the roof.” They looked even more surprised by this news than he was, but hastily scrambled after him, intent on catching whoever was crazy enough to break into a police station. Charging up the stairs, they saw that their intrepid intruder had opted to fly up the stairwell instead and had already exited onto the roof. A few seconds later the group of officers followed, but they were already too late. The intruder was already flying off into the night sky, albeit somewhat unsteadily. Time even figured another pegasus might be able to catch him if they were quick enough.
“He’s not going too fast, we might be able to catch him!” he said.
“Uh sir?”
“What?”
“In case you haven’t noticed, we don’t exactly have wings.”
Glancing behind his shoulder, Time realized that, indeed, the other two ponies with him were an earth pony and unicorn.
“Are you kidding me? We’re supposed to have at least one of each race on staff at all times, where the hay’s our pegasus?!”
“Oh you’re thinking of Star Hunter, yeah, he’s on the can,” the unicorn officer explained.
Time didn’t even dignify that with a response, afraid he’d say something he’d immediately regret if he did. Instead, he prowled over to the edge of the roof, fuming all the way as the trespasser disappeared into the night. He now found himself in the unfortunate position of having to explain to his boss that under his watch, somepony had somehow broken into their station and the commissioner’s own office and presumably stolen… something. It suddenly occurred to him that he didn’t even know what’d been taken, if anything at all.
Rushing back downstairs, he hurried back to the commissioner’s office. A quick survey of the room revealed that something indeed had been taken, and when he realized what it was, Time gulped and uttered beneath his breath, “Oh buck me.”
The next morning found Derpy unable to move. Or rather, she refused to move on account of the fact that her body currently hated her for the abuse she’d just put it through. Her head was throbbing with easily the worst hangover she’d ever had, and what’s more, there were some things from the previous night she couldn’t even remember. She recalled going out and to the police station with some sort of idea in mind, and she knew she’d broken in and nearly gotten herself caught, but everything after that was a blur. She figured she must’ve passed out on her bed as soon as she’d gotten home.
Never… never drinking that much again.
After lying in bed for what felt like hours, not moving but unable to sleep either, she decided that maybe some aspirin was just what the doctor ordered. Turning onto her side, she suddenly felt something beside her which was most definitely not bedsheets. Glancing down, her eyes nearly popped out of her skull when she saw that the object in question were files. Police files, to be exact. She’d broken into a police station and stolen some of their own files.
OK, never drinking again period. Note to self: drinking does not mix well with ninjutsu or attempting to employ it. Side effects may include acting like a total bucking idiot. Way to go Team Derpy. You rule, woohoo.
She briefly considered looking through them right then but quickly dismissed that notion when her still-throbbing head demanded otherwise. Groggily climbing out of bed, she slowly made her way downstairs to the kitchen. Carrot was already there (unsurprising given that she had not gotten hammered and done something very much illegal the previous night) and was busy cleaning some dishes. Looking behind her shoulder, she gave Derpy a small nod.
“Morning,” she said quietly.
Derpy didn’t return the greeting, heading straight for the cabinet instead where they kept the painkillers. After getting herself a much-needed aspirin and washing it down with some water, she finally replied, “Morning.”
“Need some coffee?” Carrot offered, indicating a half-full pot that was still hot by the looks of it. Derpy nodded gratefully and poured herself a mug, pulling up a chair at the kitchen table.
“Thanks. This should hit the spot,” she remarked, gingerly taking sips as it cooled.
“So… about last night…,” Carrot began, fiddling with her forehooves.
“Yeah.” Derpy looked down at the table guiltily.
“Look, Derpy… I shouldn’t have flown off the handle like that. Sure I was tired after a long day, but that’s not any excuse. So for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”
Derpy blinked in surprise. “Well… thanks Carrot. I guess. Sorry, just wasn’t expecting that is all.”
Carrot waved a hoof. “Nah it’s alright, I don’t blame ya. Look, I know you’re serious about what you said, but you have to admit to me at the very least that what you proposed is without a doubt some grade A insanity, right?”
Derpy hesitantly nodded, taking a few more sips of coffee as she contemplated where to go from here. She might have been able to carry on a somewhat normal conversation with Carrot now that she seemed calmer, but there was the small matter now of the pilfered police files up in her room. She couldn’t risk Carrot stumbling upon those on her own, no matter how much she’d prefer to simply not tell her about them. Regaining and maintaining Carrot’s trust started with telling the truth, including the hard ones. She knew what she had to do.
“I know it is. Definitely one of the nuttiest things I’ve ever heard, and from my own mouth no less. But I wouldn’t have brought it up if I didn’t think I could pull it off, or if I thought for one moment it wasn’t a worthwhile thing to do. It is, I know it is. I just need some help to get it off the ground; ponies I can trust, and who can supply me with what I need to do this.”
Carrot snorted. “Well you can certainly trust me, but I can’t exactly help you out in the whole supplies department. Seriously, who do you stand a chance to get… whatever it is you’d need for all this from?”
“That’s where the Dark Knights come in,” Derpy explained. “The Dark Knights operated very much independently in the field, but they did answer to somepony, the same pony who knighted them in the first place.”
“You don’t mean–”
“You better believe it. I’m going to ask Princess Luna for help.”
“Oh Celestia’s teat,” Carrot bemoaned, shaking her head in disbelief. “OK, even assuming she’d one, be willing to hear you out, and two, be willing to consider doing something like this (in secret, I assume), there’s still that little matter of proving to her that anything’s wrong. I know things aren’t great, trust me, but I only know that because I live here, and you still haven’t produced any hard evidence of what exactly is going on. Until you’ve got that, I’m sorry but I don’t see how you’d be able to make your case to anypony, much less a princess you don’t really even know.”
“Well… what if hypothetically I did have something?” Derpy suggested, shifting uneasily in her seat, unbeknownst to Carrot.
“Like what? I don’t have a clue what a princess would even need to see to take what you’re proposing seriously.” Finished with her dishes, Carrot turned to face Derpy, only now noticing her apparent unease. Still fidgeting where she sat, she rubbed a hoof behind her neck, and her eyes refused to meet Carrot’s, darting over every inch of the kitchen instead. After a moment of regarding Derpy with odd bemusement, Carrot’s eyes widened. “Wait… what did you do?” she asked anxiously.
Derpy stared at the ceiling, bobbing her head from side to side before finally replying, “I didn’t say I have something, just that hypothetically I cou–”
“What. Did. You. Do?” Carrot demanded.
“OK, it’s not as bad as you think,” Derpy assured her, sitting straight up in her seat.
“That doesn’t exactly make me feel any better!” Carrot exclaimed. “How bad is ‘not as bad as I think’?”
“Well… OK, yeah, it’s still pretty bad,” Derpy conceded. “But before I tell you, please, please, please promise me you won’t freak out.”
“Uh-uh, no way am I promising that. Come on Derpy, you have to meet me halfway here; if I’m expected to keep whatever it is you’ve been up to a secret from everypony else, you have to at least let me reserve the right to panic.”
Derpy waffled but hesitantly nodded. “Alright, fine, that’s fair enough. Wait here.” Derpy left and went upstairs, returning shortly thereafter with the stack of police files. She set them on the table in front of Carrot and waited for the inevitable.
It took but a few seconds of flipping through the files for Carrot to realize what they were. When she did, her reaction was more than understandable. “Tell me you didn’t do what I think you did.”
“Believe me, I wish I could,” Derpy said dryly. “In my defense, I had been drinking copiously before I went out after our little spat.”
That remark prompted Carrot to rub her brow with a hoof. “So on top of stealing police files, you were drunk when you did it as well?”
“Yep,” Derpy flatly confirmed.
Carrot got up and started furiously pacing about the kitchen, her face turning beet red. Derpy was sure that if she got any madder than she already was, smoke would start spouting from her ears. “That’s great, that’s just great. Sun, moon, and stars, you really did it this time, didn’t you? You, you, you…,” she suddenly came to a halt, her barely restrained fury giving way to a look of bewilderment. “What are you still doing here?”
“Huh?” That certainly hadn’t been a question Derpy had expected, but her ears deflated when she figured she knew Carrot’s meaning. “OK, I get it. You’ve put up with enough from me as it is already, more than you should have. If you want me to go, I’ll go, find a new place to stay. I don’t want you getting into any sort of trouble because of me.”
Much to her surprise, Carrot waved a dismissive hoof. “No, no, that’s not what I mean,” she insisted. “I mean, why hasn’t anypony shown up by now to arrest you? You broke into a police station, while you were drunk, and stole files from them. Last time I checked, that was pretty illegal. Are you telling me nopony spotted you?”
“Well, actually I kinda did get caught in the act,” Derpy admitted, rubbing her neck sheepishly. “But I got away, and I guess they didn’t see me since I had a disguise on.”
“A disguise?”
“OK, it was a hoodie, but it was dark enough that they couldn’t tell it was me! At least, I think they couldn’t. I mean, like you said, nopony’s shown up yet, so I’m guessing they didn’t recognize me.”
“Huh.” Carrot pondered upon that for some time, seemingly far calmer now than she had been but a moment ago. “So you broke into a police station, while hammered, stole police files, got spotted, and managed to escape without anypony recognizing you?”
“I guess so, yeah,” Derpy said, unsure where she was going with this.
Sitting down as though to steady herself, Carrot stared at her friend with a mixture of awe and disbelief. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but… OK, you’ve got me. I’m convinced.”
Derpy tilted her head in confusion. “Convinced of what?”
“That you could make a difference,” Carrot said. “It’s not that I didn’t believe what you’d told me or anything, just, I don’t know… you really did this. You weren’t even close to being at your best, and you still pulled off something as insane as breaking into and stealing from a police station! And you did it without anything, anything at all except your own inebriated wits. How in the world… normal ponies can’t do that!”
“Well… thanks Carrot. I guess. Is that a vote of confidence from you then?” Derpy asked with the slightest bit of hope.
“I… I don’t know. Maybe? First things first, you’re going to return these as soon as possible, right? You may not have gotten caught, but I’m not exactly comfortable having stolen police files in our home.”
“No can do, at least not yet,” Derpy said resolutely.
“But why? You proved your point! You clearly have special ‘talents’ that you might be able to put to good use, I believe that now. What more do you need these for?”
“That’s what I was trying to explain before you flipped out. Last night, you told me I had no proof, hard proof, about the troubles that have been going on in Ponyville. Well, I realized you were right, and after I got good and drunk I decided to fix that. That’s why I took them. Crazy as it might sound, if anything’s going to have the hard proof I need about what’s been going on, the kind of proof that might even convince a princess that something’s up around here and needs to be done about it, it’d be these files.”
“Oh sweet Celestia, you’re going to share these with a bucking princess!?” Carrot exclaimed.
“Only if they have what I need, but I’m sure they do. They’re all about the South Side and some of the creeps making trouble there, like Foggy Trotter. I just need to go through them to be sure, but I wouldn’t have taken them if I didn’t think I could use them. If they don’t, you have my word that I’ll return them to the police, same way I took them in the first place. Horsefeathers, I’ll even be sober this time while I do it,” she said, chuckling.
“And if you do find the kind of evidence you’re looking for in them, what then?” Carrot asked warily.
“Then… then I’ll show it to her. I’ll show it to Princess Luna herself, some way, somehow,” Derpy declared as strongly as she could. “If it works out the way I hope, she might just be convinced that something really does need to be done, and that I might just be the one to do it.”
“Are you forgetting the part where you’d be basically telling a princess herself, ‘Hey there, I stole some police files, want to see ‘em?’ Or is that suddenly something that royalty’s just OK with?” Carrot sarcastically asked.
“I’m well aware what risk I’d be taking. And before you ask, don’t worry, I wouldn’t implicate you in the slightest. This is my responsibility alone, and I’ll own the consequences whatever they may be. But I’d rather risk getting in trouble with the law than do nothing at all; I couldn’t live with myself if I kept doing nothing at all. You’ve seen what I can do with nothing at all, Carrot; if you could do what I can, could you just sit on the sidelines? Would you really do nothing to help our home? Now imagine, just for one minute, what I could do with the support of a princess, and all the resources she could command! If I can make that a reality, then, well… suddenly I’m thinking I could be a real game changer in all this. For that, even the mere possibility of it, I’m willing to risk everything, put it all on the line.”
Carrot still seemed to be a bundle of nerves, but staring hard at her friend with both sympathy and admiration said, “You really mean that, don’t you?”
Derpy nodded. “You bet your tail I do.”
Breathing a heavy sigh, Carrot answered, “You know, every fiber of my being says this is a bad idea. But there’s that one, tiny spot that can’t help but wonder what if. What if you could pull it all off? What if you really can make a difference? And I don’t know what to make of that, but you’re so damned confident that you can and, well… aw buck it, if you’re willing to risk all that for all of us, I guess the least I can do is help you find what you’re looking for.”
Derpy blinked in surprise. “Are you serious?”
“Sure, why the hay not,” Carrot said, shrugging but shooting her a shaky grin. “Come on, I figure two ponies can get through these files quicker than one, eh?”
Derpy didn’t know what else to do but grin back. “I figure you’d be right. Let’s get to it.”
“Right behind ya, you crazy mare.”
“And Carrot.”
“Hmmm?”
“Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it,” she insisted. “What are friends for, right?”
Without another word, both mares started leafing through file after file, taking their first brave steps together onto the uncertain road that lay ahead.
This was happening. It was hard to believe, but they were really doing this. Derpy sat waiting anxiously in Sugarcube Corner, trying her best to stay calm and collected as she nibbled away absentmindedly at the blueberry muffin in front of her. Despite the delectable dessert’s presence, such a task was still easier said than done given her current state of mind.
They’d found it alright. Everything they were looking for, at least more than enough evidence that something was definitely wrong in Ponyville. In fact, it was even worse than Derpy could have imagined. There was evidence of major criminal operations taking place, notes about Foggy’s ties to Manehattan mobs, even suggestions of there being dirty cops – bucking dirty cops – in Ponyville of all places! The residents of the South Side were clearly being taken advantage of by Foggy and his goons, but the police were in no position to do anything about it. They were a small force ill-prepared for this level of a threat and had their own dirt to take care of, and even if neither of those factors had been a problem, they still couldn’t pin nearly enough on Foggy to take him down.
From what they’d read, it seemed as though every time the police got so much as a whiff of something that he was up to (which seemed to happen quite a bit, much to Derpy’s surprise), he’d cover his tracks quicker than they could follow them back to him. It was downright bizarre behavior; he seemed to be as careless as he was vigilant, and something about that just didn’t add up. Unless he was simply trying to rub his prowess for not getting caught in the faces of his pursuers, it made no sense that he should let them get his scent so many times in so many crimes of wide, varying natures.
For the time being, however, such perplexing questions were irrelevant. If all went well in the coming days ahead, there’d be plenty of time for figuring out Foggy’s game later on. At the moment, Derpy’s immediate priority was somehow setting up a meeting with none other than one of Equestria’s very own diarchs. Thankfully, she and Carrot had a plan, and the sooner they put it into action, the better. They were, after all, still holding onto a whole pile of stolen police files, and besides the obvious danger of such an action, there were other downsides to it as well.
Time Turner’s unfortunate arrival at Sugarcube Corner at that moment reminded Derpy of that all too well; a hollow feeling took hold in the pit of her stomach as soon as she spotted him. It hadn’t taken her long to figure out that it’d been none other than Time himself on duty at the station at the time of her break-in. He hadn’t told her so, of course; as far as she could tell, the whole police force was staying quiet about this, not that she could blame them. But she knew, she just knew, from his sedate bearing in the last few days to the way other officers had been looking at him, that he had been there. He’d even been buying donuts from Sugarcube Corner by the dozens, most likely for his fellow officers as some sort of small attempt at making amends. In fact, if her guess was right that was probably what he was there for now.
I humiliated him, plain and simple. At least he’s not fired, I guess, but he must be the joke of the force right now, and it’s all my fault. Horsefeathers, I’m really going to have to make it up to him for this. Gah, focus Derpy, focus, get the princess’s help first, then you can worry about Time!
Still, there wasn’t any reason she couldn’t try to perk him up just a tad. Carrot hadn’t arrived yet, so with nothing else to do but wait she wolfed down the rest of her muffin, left her seat and strode toward Time.
“Hey friend, how’s it going?” she asked mildly, offering a gentle smile.
Time acknowledged her with a halfhearted grin. “Oh, not too bad. Not too good either, I’m afraid.”
“Oh? What’s up?”
He shook his head, waving a dismissive hoof. “Ah, it’s nothing. Just a particularly long week at work, that’s all, you know how it goes sometimes. Nothing I can’t handle. Just picking up some snacks for my coworkers right now.”
“Yeah I figured you were,” Derpy remarked. “You seem to have done that quite a bit this week, if I’m not mistaken.”
“Well… eh…,” Time waffled, clearly surprised she’d noticed. “It’s kind of a… rotation kind of thing. We occasionally take, er, shifts to buy donuts for everyone, and my turn just happened to be up for the week.”
Derpy snorted. “You’re a pretty bad liar, you know that?”
Time rolled his eyes in exasperation, blushing furiously after being found out. “Well you kind of caught me on the spot, to be fair. Alright, there’s no rotations or anything. Truth be told I… well, I messed up. I can’t say how, I’m sorry, but I messed up at work and this is the least I can do for the ponies I let down.”
“Hey come on now, don’t be like that.” Derpy lightly patted him on the back with a wing, hoping the reassuring gesture might help. “I’m sure whatever it was it couldn’t have been that bad. They’re probably just giving you crap cause you’re the new guy, but I’ll bet you’ve seen and done all sorts of things most of our cops never have, so they shouldn’t be ones to talk smack to you. Don’t worry so much about what they think, alright? You’re bigger than petty gossip.”
Time seemed to brighten a little after hearing his friend’s words of encouragement. “Oh don’t you worry, it’s not gossip that bothers me, trust me. I can take all sorts of garbage flung my way. No, what bothers me is knowing I screwed up. Stupidly too, if I’m being honest. But enough of my self-pity, I can’t imagine it’s enjoyable for you to listen to all that nonsense. Looks like I’m up, best get these donuts.”
Derpy walked up to the counter with him, staying close. “Here, at least let me get you a muffin to go with it. And don’t you dare say no, it’s my treat for you! Everypony likes a pick-me-up when they’re down in the dumps, and I’d say you are most definitely dumpster diving right about now. So what’ll it be?”
Time chuckled. “Well, what kind of a guy would I be to turn down a free muffin? Alright, I’ll bite. A pumpkin muffin sounds like just what the doctor ordered right about now.”
“One pumpkin muffin coming up,” Derpy affirmed, pulling some bits out and hoofing them over to Mister Cake as soon as Time had gotten his box of donuts. She handed the bagged treat over to Time, who accepted it with overt gratitude.
“Thanks Derpy, really, I needed this,” he said, offering her a warm smile.
“Hey it’s the least I can do for one of Ponyville’s finest. Now go out there, do your job, and keep your head held high!”
“Sir, yes, sir!” Time stated, giving Derpy a mock salute. They left each other’s company full of laughter, just as Derpy had hoped; she still felt rotten about the pickle she’d gotten Time into, but she figured this was a small step towards making amends with him.
Just as Time left, Carrot finally arrived, glancing nervously side-to-side. When she caught sight of Derpy waving at her, she gave an acknowledging nod and they both trotted over to a table in the back, as far from where ponies were congregating as possible.
“So did you get ‘em?” Derpy asked in a low voice.
“Yeah… yeah, I got them,” Carrot replied, looking over her shoulder a couple more times before pulling a small bag out from her saddlebag. She slid the bag over to Derpy, who proceeded to peek inside and lit up upon seeing the bag’s contents. The bag was filled with baby blue sapphires, about two dozen if Derpy’s estimate was correct.
“Rarity bought our ‘story,’ I assume?”
“Oh yeah, when I told her I had a potential business partner who wanted to barter gems for some new carrot cultivars, she was more than happy to sell them to me. She even gave me a discount on them, thirty percent! Guess she really does live up to that whole Element of Generosity thing.”
“Nice, very nice,” Derpy remarked, heart racing with excitement.
“You think it’s enough?”
“For our purposes, definitely. I just need enough to convince him to seal and send out a letter without telling anypony else.” Derpy pulled out a rolled-up piece of parchment from her own saddlebag, waving it at Carrot. “Besides, it’s already written and everything. At the most, it’s a five minute job, and for this many sapphires I’d say he’ll be more than willing to do it.”
“Twilight’s not around, I hope?” Carrot asked.
“Nope, I’ve been keeping an eye on the place. She left about thirty minutes ago with Applejack and Fluttershy; no idea when she’ll be back, but her activities with her friends tend to last quite a while. More than enough time to pull this off, that’s for sure.”
Carrot let loose a sigh and rolled her shoulders, attempting to appear more relaxed. “So we’re really doing this?”
“Yeah, I guess we are,” Derpy answered. “If you want out, though, just let me know. I’m not going to force you to do anything you don’t want to, especially anything that could cause trouble for you.”
Carrot shook her head. “I appreciate that, but I already told you I’m in. Am I nervous? More than you can imagine, but you don’t need to worry about that. All you need to worry about right now is pulling this off. So assuming your letter reaches its destination, you think it’ll be enough to entice its recipient to show up?”
Derpy shrugged. “No idea, but I think I make a pretty convincing case in my letter. I’ve thought it over to death and can’t think of any other way I could possibly improve it. If this doesn’t convince her to meet with me, I don’t know what will.”
“Alright then. Well… you ready for this?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be. Wish me luck.” Putting the letter and bag of sapphires back into her own saddlebag, she got up and flashed as confident a smile as she could. “Time to go meet with our scaly little friend.”
Spike the dragon was very much enjoying himself on what was shaping up to be a lazy afternoon. Twilight was out for the day with a couple of her friends, he’d finished his chores shortly after she’d left, and the library had been practically empty all day. He was just laying down for a well-deserved nap when he heard the front door of Golden Oak Library open downstairs. Grumbling to himself in annoyance, he begrudgingly crawled out of his bed and started making his way downstairs to see who it was and what they needed help with.
Much to his dismay, he found Derpy waiting at the bottom of the stairs. The memory of the mess she’d made last time she was here was still very much fresh in his mind, and he silently prayed to himself that she wasn’t about to tear half the books from their shelves like she had last time.
“Uh, hey Derpy, what can I help you with?” he said, waving a claw at her. Curiously, she didn’t seem to pay him much attention despite making his presence known, seemingly surveying the main floor of the library instead. Spike thought that maybe she was looking for a book, but after a moment she finally did turn her gaze fully upon him.
“Hey Spike, long time no see,” she said with a casual air. “Say, is anypony else around?”
“Huh? Well last time I checked, no, at least as far as I’m aware. If you’re looking for Twilight, she’s probably not going to be back until later tonight,” he explained, assuming that’s why she was asking. Derpy, however, seemed to breathe a barely audible sigh of relief.
“Oh don’t worry, I’m not. In fact, I was actually looking for you.”
The young dragon raised an eyebrow. “Me? Why?”
Derpy leaned in closer to Spike, as though they were about to share a conspiratorial discussion with one another. “Well if I’m being honest, I could really use your help right now. It’s a bit of a private matter, and I’d rather Twilight or anypony else for that matter didn’t know about this, but I promise you that if you’re willing to help I will more than make it worth your while.”
Before he could ask her what in Equestria she meant by that, Derpy reached into her saddlebag and pulled out a bag which she promptly opened, revealing its contents to be a considerable amount of baby blue sapphires. Without even realizing it, Spike’s mouth reflexively began to water at the delectable sight.
“Mmmmm, yum… uh, sorry, I mean, uh, what exactly did you have in mind?” he asked, eyes still fixed on the delicious-looking spread before him.
“Oh, nothing much, just a little favor, that’s all,” Derpy reassured him. “If it’s not too much trouble, I would really appreciate it if you could send a letter out for me.”
“Uh, isn’t that kinda your job? You do work for the post office, right?”
Alright Derpy, you got this. Play it calm, play it cool, he’s bound to go for it. Here we go.
“Well, this is kind of a special letter. Or rather, I have a very special recipient in mind.”
“Who?” Spike asked.
“Oh… Princess Luna,” Derpy answered, giving the most endearing smile she could at that moment. Unfortunately, that failed to dampen Spike’s surprise at the clearly unusual request.
“Princess Luna? Why do you need to get a letter to her?” he pressed.
“Well… I was hoping she might be able to give me some advice on a personal matter, is all. That sounds weird, I’m sure, but I just think she might be able to provide me with some valuable insight on the matter in question.”
Spike rubbed a claw behind his head, his apprehension apparent in his eyes. “That’s, uh… gee, I don’t know, I don’t think Twilight would be happy if I did that. You know, the princesses do receive mail from others, why not just send it through the postal service?”
“I just want to guarantee that it’ll get to her is all,” Derpy explained, trying to sound as innocent as possible. “Everypony in town knows that you and Twilight send stuff to them all the time. I mean, it’s not really a secret that Twilight’s Princess Celestia’s personal student. So what do you say?”
Spike was still waffling from the looks of things, not meeting her eyes and fiddling with his claws nervously. This was a delicate moment, but Derpy was sure that if she played her cards right, she could convince him just enough to help her out.
“If it helps, I promise you this’ll be a one-time deal,” she stated emphatically. “I’m not trying to get you in trouble with Twilight or the princesses, and I certainly don’t want to inappropriately take advantage of your royal connections. I just need this one-time favor, that’s all, I promise you. Help me out now, you’ll get your gems and we’ll never speak of this again. Deal?”
Spike scratched his chin thoughtfully with a claw and finally said, “Pinkie promise?”
Derpy nodded. “Pinkie promise. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye. May her righteous, pink wrath descend upon me if I dare break this sacred vow.”
Spike snorted but finally relented, clearly sure of Derpy’s sincerity. “Alright, alright, give it here.” Derpy hoofed the rolled up parchment over to him and he promptly dashed upstairs with it in-claw. A moment later he reappeared, still clutching the letter, now bearing a blue wax seal upon it.
“Alright, this’ll guarantee the letter goes straight to Princess Luna, no questions asked,” he explained. Derpy quizzically examined the seal, which displayed a simple imprint of a crescent moon. To think, such a simple symbol was a one-way ticket to one of the most powerful ponies in all of Equestria.
“Sounds good to me. OK Spike, let her rip.”
Spike hesitated a moment longer, but finally took a deep breath and let loose a torrent of green flames from his maw which engulfed the letter. When they dissipated, the letter was gone, at last on its way to its prestigious recipient. Derpy let out a sigh of relief and hoofed the bag of sapphires over to Spike.
“Thanks Spike, a pleasure doing business with you,” she said. “Don’t forget, nopony else need know about this. It’ll be our little secret.”
“If you say so,” he said, shrugging as he grabbed a sapphire which he promptly began munching on as if it were candy. “But hey, if you ever need me to do anything else that doesn’t involve keeping secrets from Twilight and gets me more gems, I’m your dragon.”
Derpy giggled and nodded. “I’ll keep that in mind. Enjoy those gems, Spike, you earned them, but don’t let Twilight catch sight of them. Last thing you and I both need is her asking where you got those.”
“Oh don’t you worry, I have a stash for just these sorts of things,” he assured her.
“Why am I not surprised? Later Spike, have a good one!”
“You too Derpy,” he said, heading back upstairs with his bag of sapphires in tow. Her business concluded, Derpy turned and left the library, trotting with an upbeat gait as she tried to conceal her nervous excitement.
OK, not bad Derpy, not bad at all. Convinced a baby dragon to help you out, and in secret at that; now all you have to do is wait and see if you can manage to convince a princess to do the same. Yeah, easy, no sweat.
She trotted a bit further before her heart flipped over in her chest more than a few times, and she took a big gulp.
Am I in over my head? I mean, seriously, this is crazy. I’m the one trying to do it, and even I know it’s crazy.
No, come on girl, get a hold of yourself! Deep breaths, deep breaths. All you need is a cool head and nerves of steel, that’s all. You totally got this. I mean, I’ve gotten this far, haven’t I? What’s the worst that can happen now? I mean, at worst, what, Princess Luna reads it and doesn’t go for it. She doesn’t show up tomorrow night and that’s the end of that, back to the drawing board.
But if she does show up… oh boy, if she does show up. Sheesh, what happens then? I doubt she’ll just show up and say she’ll happily oblige. No, if she comes, she’ll… horsefeathers, I don’t know what she’ll do. Guess I’ll just have to wait and see.
Just keep this at the forefront of your mind: no matter what happens, you will help Ponyville. You will help your friends and your home. That’s happening, no matter what.
No. Matter. What.
For over a thousand years, the royal quarters of Canterlot Castle had largely been a serene, peaceful niche, an escape for both the royalty of Canterlot as well as their servants who worked there from the usual hustle and bustle that was predominant throughout the rest of the castle and the city itself day in and day out. The nearby gardens offered much-needed respite to the castle’s inhabitants, the halls were among the quietest in the castle, and any ponies granted the privilege of working in or near the princesses’ quarters themselves usually considered it one of the highest honors that could be bestowed upon them.
None of this could be said today, however, namely on account of a certain inhabitant of said quarters who was not doing a particularly good job at concealing her current restless state of melancholy.
“This is unacceptable, absolutely unacceptable!” Princess Luna bellowed to no one in particular. At the sound of her furious tone, two Royal Guards threw the door to her chambers open and hurried inside, on high alert.
“Your majesty, what’s wrong? How can we be of assistance?” an alarmed guard asked, eyes darting about the room in search of the source of the princess’s ire.
“What? No, I… confound it, I do not require any assistance, guard. Pray tell, what gave you the impression that I did?” she demanded.
“Well, begging your pardon your majesty, but we simply assumed that your, eh… raised voice meant that our services were needed,” the guard explained.
A clearly exasperated Princess Luna rolled her eyes. “Raised voice? What nonsense is this you speak of? This was clearly our- I mean, my indoor speaking voice, and I was merely expressing thoughts of frustration and discontent out loud to myself. Are you not familiar with the concept of talking to oneself?”
The two guards glanced at one another with uncertainty, clearly surprised at hearing that level of volume described as an indoor speaking voice. “Are you certain everything is alright, your majesty? There have also been reports of… stomping coming from your quarters, as of late, including today. Is there anything we might be able to assist you with?” the other guard asked.
Princess Luna’s cheeks turned the slightest shade of red at the guard’s observation. “Oh, how… attentive of you to notice. Yes, well, nothing to fear, I can assure you, that has simply been the… royal opossum, Tiberius!” she exclaimed. All three turned their gazes upon the Princess of the Night’s pet, who currently was preoccupied with a rather enjoyable afternoon nap if the way he was sprawled out upon Luna’s bed was anything to judge by. Both guards maintained stoic expressions, though Luna still let loose a series of forced chuckles awkward even by her own standards.
“Do not be deceived by his appearance! He has… bad dreams, and… sometimes can be rather naughty if he did not eat enough of his breakfast and subsequently grows hungry in the afternoon. I can assure you, this one can raise quite the ruckus if he puts his mind to it!” At that moment, Tiberius gave a particularly loud snore, turning over onto his back and scratching his belly while remaining fast asleep. “Ah, you see, what did I tell you? The naughty rapscallion is clearly famished! I really should teach him a lesson and make him wait till suppertime, but I am nothing if not a benevolent princess and royal pet owner, so I suppose an exception can be made. Guards, your Princess of the Night commands you to fetch the royal pet some of his royal snacks from the royal pantry! And… perhaps a pastry or two for me while you’re down there. Dismissed!”
Both guards sharply saluted and departed from her presence immediately, one remaining at his station outside her chambers while the other left to fulfill her latest assignment. Luna let out a sigh of relief as soon as they’d left and fell back with splayed wings onto her bed next to her sleeping opossum, frowning at him.
“Would that my thoughts and concerns were as carefree as your own, dearest Tibbles. Then I might actually be able to get some rest,” she groused, staring at him enviously.
“I doubt sweets at this time of day will help you with that,” a warm voice said, chuckling, causing Luna to immediately shoot up from where she lay and regather herself as quickly as she could. After all, she absolutely hated being seen in such a loose, unkempt state, especially by her sister.
“Celestia. Pray tell, dear sister, what are you doing here?” she asked as she hastily straightened out her wings and mane.
“Oh, I had some downtime so I thought I’d checkup on how you were doing, that’s all,” the resplendent royal replied, smiling with a radiant warmth which most ponies would feel overjoyed to have bestowed upon them. Luna, however, raised an eyebrow at her older sister.
“Downtime? It may have been some time since I sat in attendance at the Day Court, but it has not been so long that I have forgotten how unrelentingly busy it is. You dismissed it, didn’t you? Why?”
Celestia sighed but maintained her kind gaze. “Not quite. Cadance is currently presiding over it in my place. Before you say anything, I can assure you this is not her first time running the Day Court; she has very capably conducted herself in this capacity many times before, and it’s good practice for her.”
Luna gave a conceding nod but still looked at Celestia with a suspicious eye. “Princess Cadance is more than capable of doing so, of that I have no doubt. However, that still begs the question of why you are here?”
Celestia hesitated for but a split second (a sure sign to Luna that they were about to discuss uncomfortable matters), but pressed forward. “Luna, is everything alright?” she delicately asked.
“Of course, why wouldn’t it be?” Luna said with as confident an air about her as she could.
“I’ve heard you’re having trouble sleeping as of late.”
“And who, pray tell, did you hear that from?”
“Enough ponies to take such concerns seriously. In some instances, I’ve heard it from you yourself.”
“What do you mean by that?” Luna demanded.
“Well… you have been a bit loud, lately, at times,” Celestia noted.
“WHAT NONSENSE! WE ASSURE YOU, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH OUR INDOOR SPEAKING VOICE!” Luna thundered in a voice that would have bowled even dragons over, but only led Celestia to roll her eyes.
“Luna, please, we don’t need the whole city listening in on this,” she said with a hint of annoyance. “And you’re doing that ‘royal we’ thing again. I thought Twilight helped you get over that?”
“We – sorry, I apologize. It was most unbecoming to lose my temper in such a manner. And I assure you that I am discarding the ‘royal we’ by the day, I just… sometimes slip up here and there. Mostly when I… lose my temper,” she said bashfully, looking at her hooves like a filly who’d been caught with her hoof in the cookie jar.
“Be honest with me, please. What is wrong? I don’t just mean today or this past week, mind you; you’ve been in a bit of a rut for quite some time now, months perhaps, for all I know maybe even longer.”
“I haven’t the faintest idea what you could possibly mean,” Luna insisted. “Sometimes my sleep schedule just gets a little… out of whack, is all. You know I keep different hours than anypony else, including yourself. But I simply have to make do and hope such phases pass quickly when they do happen. In fact I’ve… been busying myself with some contemporary poetry! See? My recitations may have even been what you’ve heard; I find the poetry really comes to life when recited out loud.”
Luna floated a collection of poems over to Celestia, who looked them over with a bemused expression. “Luna, these poems are five centuries old.”
“Well that’s still contemporary by my standards,” Luna deadpanned. “Do you have any idea how much literature I have to catch up on after all these centuries?”
“Luna, please stop trying to change the subject,” Celestia requested. “You’ve always had an unfortunate talent at concealing your emotions far too well for your own good, but even you haven’t been able to hide that something is most definitely bothering you. Your attendance at the Day Court sessions has dropped precipitously; you’ve been deferring a growing number of matters of state to myself or even Cadance; and you seem to waver between states of melancholy and indecisiveness.”
Confronted with her sister’s prescient observations, Luna remained silent as the grave and refused to look her in the eye, a downcast air sweeping over her whole demeanor.
“Lulu, please. Don’t you trust me?”
“Of course we trust you! We trust you, and Cadance, and anypony else these days more than we trust ourselves!” she burst out, so suddenly that Celestia herself was startled, and even Tiberius blearily stirred awake from his deep sleep.
“Luna, what has happened?” Celestia asked, wrapping a hoof and wing around her little sister in a consoling embrace, her voice full of the sincerest sympathy. “I thought things have been steadily getting better for you ever since your return. We were working so closely with each other, just like in the old days, and you were finding joy in connecting with your new subjects. What changed?”
For a moment the sisters stood there in silence, the younger leaning into the rock that was her elder’s warm embrace. Much to Celestia’s surprise, she felt a couple of tears upon her chest. Sure there had been many tears shed by both upon Luna’s true return, but true to her stoic, reserved nature, her little sister had not wept since, despite more than one occasion arising in which it certainly would have been perfectly acceptable for her to do so.
“It was that damnable, accursed invasion by those wretched changelings!” she cried.
“Shhhhh, it’s alright, I know, sister, I know. It was a most regrettable event, hardly our finest moment. But by mother’s grace it all turned out for the better in the end. Our little ponies saw to that.”
“No! You don’t understand, you don’t get it. You have nothing to be ashamed of, not one bit. It was… it was I. I failed you. I failed Equestria. I failed all of our subjects, every last one of them, and it was all because I let pride get the better of me yet again.”
Celestia cocked her head to the side. “Luna, I don’t understand, why are you placing such a burden squarely upon your own shoulders alone?” she asked.
“Don’t you remember? We knew the changelings were amassing and presented a threat, and we knew they had infiltrated our ranks. Yet when assuming a defensive posture would’ve been the wiser road to take, I threw caution to the wind and insisted upon taking the bulk of our finest forces to the southern border, foolishly believing our enemy could not possibly have snuck an entire army onto our lands already from the Badlands.”
Celestia shook her head, rubbing her shoulder gently. “That was a joint decision, and you know it. We agreed, along with many of our top military advisers, that it was the wisest course of action. Perhaps arrogance clouded all of our judgment to some extent, but none of us could have possibly guessed what inroads Chrysalis had already made against us.”
Luna recoiled from Celestia’s touch and started feverishly pacing about, scowling, it seemed, at herself. “Nay. You were kind enough to support us, yes, but we pressed for it. It was our decision through and through, and we knew it was not the safest course. But in our mind, to our everlasting shame, a part of us desired glorious victory, as when we led our armies centuries ago in battle after battle. Because we were so blinded by delusions of grandeur, we almost lost everything. Canterlot. Equestria. Our friends and beloved subjects. We almost lost… we almost lost you, Tia!”
As Luna grew increasingly upset, Celestia couldn’t help but notice that her horn was aglow, and soon espied what exactly Luna was doing. A tapestry hung above her mantle depicting the Princess of the Night was awash in blue flames, engulfing her image until there was nothing left but a charred hole where her face had been. Grabbing what was left of the tapestry in her own magic, Celestia floated it over to where she stood (much to Luna’s surprise), sadly gazing upon the damaged article.
“Oh Luna… I rather liked this one. I thought the weaver really did justice to your mane,” she sadly remarked.
Luna hung her head in shame. “Our apologies. We should have given it to you then. It’s certainly better than we deserve.”
“Lulu…”
“No, Tia. You can’t just make this go away with your empathy and warmth and natural goodness. You may forgive us, truly, but that doesn’t mean we can forgive ourselves. We already hurt everything we love more than most ponies ever could in a thousand lifetimes. We don’t deserve… the responsibilities of the crown have outgrown us in our absence. We took them too much for granted a thousand years ago, and things were far simpler back then. Today? We might as well be a foal playing with the alicorn amulet. You deserve better than that, sister, and so does Equestria. You deserve better than… than our amateurish selves.”
“LUNA MOONRISE!” Celestia uttered in her own rendition of the royal Canterlot voice. Luna blinked in surprise at both her tone and at hearing her sister call her by her full name, something which was only employed on the rarest of occasions by the two of them alone. “You cannot do this to yourself, my beloved sister. Please, I beg of you. If not for yourself, then do it for me, for your little ponies, for the sister and country you claim to love so. We all need you, Luna, more than you could possibly imagine. As long-lived as we are, we were always bound to make mistakes, and my goodness, mistakes we both most certainly have made. But they are our mistakes, Luna, not just yours, ours!
“We were always meant to rule together, to live and learn and grow together. We cannot change the past any more than we can live in it, even us in all our power; all we can do is rise and fall like the sun and moon, day after day, night after night, always striving to grow brighter and wiser every time we do. Take these words to heart, sister, please. Mother would weep as I do seeing you like this; you know as well as I do how dearly she held her precious little moonbeam.”
Luna still refused to meet Celestia’s gaze, but quietly uttered, “When I heard what had happened… the thought of losing you, truly losing you forever. How close I came to such a reality. I didn’t know in that moment what I would do with myself if it ever came to that. I was so afraid, Tia. I just can’t… I don’t think I could be you. I couldn’t rule alone. I can barely rule with you by my side as it is.”
Celestia wrapped a wing around Luna once more, consoling her to the best of her abilities. “I hope and pray it never comes to that, for both our sakes. But if it ever did, I know you could rule just as well as I. You’re so much stronger than you give yourself credit for.”
Gently wiping the few remaining tears in Luna’s eyes with a levitated handkerchief, Celestia tilted her sister’s chin up and looked her in the eyes, flashing a small but mischievous smile. “That said, it wouldn’t hurt if you started involving yourself a bit more in royal affairs. And I don’t just mean attending the Day Court or other royal functions more regularly; get yourself out there more, sister, mingling with our subjects and such.”
At that Luna tilted her head, a puzzled look etched on her features. “I know how to mingle with them, sister. I very much enjoyed the revelries at Nightmare Night, despite my initial apprehension regarding the holiday.”
Celestia, however, shook her head, chuckling. “You need to take it a step further beyond that. Work with them, throw yourself into their lives and what they’re doing. Aid them as you can, but let them teach you how to trust in them as well; you need to learn that you don’t have to just rely on yourself, and you might be surprised by what wondrous things they can achieve. I wouldn’t have gotten here today were it not for our subjects, and need I remind you that we all wouldn’t have gotten you back were it not for some of them?”
“Hmmm… a fair enough point. But where to start? There are so many ponies in Equestria, how am I to choose who to, eh, “mingle” with?”
“Just let it happen naturally, Luna, don’t force it,” Celestia advised. “Keep your eyes open and the opportunities should present themselves. You’ll find that ponies who make for ideal confidantes tend to do just that. When they come to you or show themselves, encourage them and cultivate them into becoming the best ponies they can be. You’ll both be better for it, I guarantee it.”
Luna gave a doubtful frown but hesitantly nodded. “We’ll see, we’ll see. I will… give your advice due consideration, sister.”
Celestia waited a moment expectantly, but it soon became apparent that Luna had said everything she was willing to say in her current state of melancholy. She gave a soft, sad sigh but nodded in turn, taking what she could get for the time being. “Keep your chin up, Lulu, always. So many ponies care about you, myself and so many more than you think.”
Taking her leave, Celestia stopped just as she reached the door, a thought suddenly occurring to her. “Oh, before I forget, you have some mail,” she happily announced, and Luna’s own ears perked up at the news and she gave her sister a curious look.
“From who?” she asked.
“Twilight, it seems,” Celestia replied. “At least I assume that’s who sent it, it did come from Spike after all.” She levitated a sealed scroll over to Luna, bearing her seal upon it, which Luna took in her own magic.
“I wasn’t expecting to hear from her anytime soon. I wonder what she could want,” Luna mused.
Celestia shrugged. “Oh, you know Twilight, sometimes she just calls out of the blue. Or perhaps she has a friendship lesson that applies to you. Whatever it is, don’t worry, I won’t pry, not unless you want to tell me what it is. I do hope it’s good news! Take care, sister.” With that, Celestia left, closing the door behind her while Luna still inquisitively examined the unexpected correspondence.
After a moment, she finally broke the seal, curious to see what Twilight wanted. Almost immediately, however, something caught her eye, something which caused her to catch her breath.
Et lux in tenebris, In nigris vindicta, Iustitia in nocte
“The oath of the… but how? And wait a minute, that’s not Twilight’s hoofwriting either. What’s going on, who is this from?”
With a furious fervor the princess read through the letter, then proceeded to read it three more times to be sure this wasn’t some kind of joke. Perhaps it was and she simply still wasn’t familiar with the ways in which modern humor worked. But no matter how hard she looked, she couldn’t find anything to suggest the writer was anything but serious. For a while she just stood there, unsure what to make of this. She thought, however, of what her sister had told her and advised her to do, and then thought, and thought, and thought some more.
Finally, after carefully rolling the letter back up, she wondered aloud to herself, “Who is this Derpy Hooves?”
In her current state of mind, the urge to pace about until she’d dug a trench into the earth was a terribly tempting notion to Derpy. Unfortunately, even in the waning moments of the day that probably wasn’t the wisest course of action available to her. Granted, most of Ponyville had probably retired for the evening at this late hour, but at the moment Derpy’s highest priority was remaining as inconspicuous as possible. And so she resigned herself to laying on an old blanket she’d brought along, supposedly keeping vigil before her mother’s grave.
While it was unusual for her to be there so late or for such a long time, she was armed with a more than reasonable excuse in case any friends, curious onlookers, or passersby investigated: that being that it just so happened to be the anniversary of her mother’s death. She’d brought a single black iris along for good measure, placing it before her mother’s grave alongside a number of other new tributes left by ponies who evidently had not forgotten her sacrifice either. It did Derpy’s heart good to know that so many still cared enough to remember, even if she didn’t know who most of them were. She was sure of who’d left one of the memorials, however; another black iris was there already when she’d arrived, and she could easily guess that a certain major had left it there just as she first had all those years ago in front of a crushed filly still reeling from her world being shattered. She’d have to remember to thank Nimbus the next time she saw her.
With the sun’s rapid descent, the evening was quickly turning from a mild twilight into a crisp, cool spring night. Although she had a scarf wrapped tightly about her neck, Derpy was shaking near uncontrollably, though she had a feeling that this was not on account of the cold. Her tail flicked from side-to-side and she kept absentmindedly nipping at feathers which did not need to be preened, just to give herself something to do during the insufferable wait. If anypony had been with her, they would have heard the sound of her heart thumping as though it were about to beat itself out of her chest.
Stop being silly, Derpy. You don’t even know what’s about to happen. No telling if she’ll even show up. For all you know, you’ll just be left alone on this hillside all night long, like you never even sent a secret letter to one of the rulers of Equestria. Then you’ll just… go back to the drawing board and figure something else out. Some other way to help Ponyville that won’t involve getting an alicorn mixed up in all of it.
Then again… she could come. And I suppose if she comes, she’ll be wanting an explanation. Which is why you brought along the pile of stolen police files, of course, because that’s exactly what you need to be showing to an all-powerful alicorn princess! Yep, that’s some A-plus logic you got there. Buck me, what am I getting myself into?
Wrapping herself in her blanket, Derpy took a few deep, calming breaths, trying her best to steady her nerves. She knew the best thing at the moment would be to have no expectations whatsoever, resigned to the fact that she had no idea what, if anything at all, was about to happen. But alas, her gut would not allow such a benign thought to take root. Her intuition kept annoyingly reminding her that she’d taken yet another leap of faith, and like all the leaps of faith she’d taken in the past year, going all the way back to that first momentous decision to climb that mountain and find herself a new life at the top, there was only one thing certain about the future that lay at the end of it. Whatever happened tonight, for better or worse, would almost certainly be life-changing for her.
Growing more anxious by the minute, she stared longingly at her mother’s headstone, her name and the inscription, “Faithful to the end to all,” just barely visible in the moon’s soft glow. That impeccable encapsulation of her mother’s life was stirring within her even more than usual; more than ever before, she wanted – no, needed – that, needed to be able to say, if to nopony else but herself, that she lived her life, to whatever end, faithful to all.
I wish you were here right now. Well I wish you were here all the time, but tonight… tonight is one of those nights where I could really use you, mom. If nothing else, just to be that calm, steadying rock that you always were. You’d know just what to say right now and it’d be exactly what I’d need to hear in this moment. But I suppose being here right beside you will have to do.
I wonder how many of these kind of moments you ever encountered in your life. How did you deal with them? Did you know you’d come to a crossroad in your life every time it happened, or were some more obvious than others?
Ya know, it’s funny. The last time a princess was here, standing in this very spot, just her presence alone helped me get out of a very dark place. In fact, it was exactly what I needed at that moment in my life. Now another princess may come to this very same spot, and she too might be exactly what I need at this moment in my life. If she comes, everything may change for me tonight… for better or worse. Guess I can’t really say. There’s a lot I can’t really say for sure right now, a lot that’s out of my hooves. I wish I at least knew what the first thing I say to her will be, because for the life of me I can’t settle on anything.
“Hey princess, how’s it going?” Derpy said out loud to herself, testing how it sounded.
Nah, too casual.
“Your majesty, it is my express and sincere pleasure to be honored with your presence this evening.”
Ehhhhh, I’m not some noble pony at the Canterlot Court, that honestly might be a bit much. Not even sure the Royal Guards go that far in their decorum.
“Nice night for a stroll, eh?”
Might work… if I were some creepy guy stalking her to a gravesite.
“Hi princess, looking real… blue, tonight. Nope. Have a nice flight over here? Maybe… but what if she teleports? Yo. What am I, Rainbow Dash? Hmmm, I think Cloud’s seen her before, I wonder how she’d typically greet her- nope, we’re not even going down that road! C’mon Derpy, this shouldn’t be that hard, think, think, think, think!”
“I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”
“Buck!”
Derpy nearly fell over herself as she leapt with fright at the sudden appearance of the newcomer, clumsily throwing her blanket off of herself as she spun around. If she’d been more focused she might have assumed a defensive stance, but at the moment she was too startled to even think straight, just managing to barely stay on her hooves.
“Ah, lovely,” the source of Derpy’s sudden fright deadpanned, and all the color drained from Derpy’s face as she realized who it was. Ridiculously large wings and horn? Check. Coat and mane bluer than the most radiant sapphires? Check. Crown as black as a moonless night? Check. Aura befitting a thousand-year-old, nigh omnipotent being? Check, check, check.
“Oh horsefeathers, of course it’s you,” she bemoaned.
Princess Luna raised an unamused eyebrow at that statement. “Disappointed to see me?”
Derpy hastily shook her head, quickly trying to regain her bearings. “No, no, it’s not you, I just can’t believe I just said that in front of you. I swear, I was hoping to make a good first impression, but you kinda caught me off guard and, well… you know the rest.”
Princess Luna considered her explanation for a moment before continuing, her countenance back to a neutral expression (which Derpy hoped was a good thing, at least for the moment). “I must admit, I cannot truly say I’ve ever been greeted in quite such a manner before,” she replied.
Derpy gave a weak chuckle, assuming it was a joke, but quickly realized the princess was being serious and stopped lest she annoy her again.
“Are you usually this anxious?”
“No, trust me, I’m not, but I’m usually not taking part in secret meetings with Equestrian royalty either,” Derpy replied. “Truth be told, I’ve kinda been a bundle of nerves ever since I sent you my letter.”
“Ah, so you are this ‘Derpy Hooves’ I presume, yes?” Princess Luna asked.
“Yes, your majesty. That’d be me.”
An awkward, heavy silence hung in the air between the two for a moment, both princess and subject clearly unsure of how to proceed from here. Mercifully a potential conversation starter did eventually occur to Derpy and she decided to run with it.
“So… you came,” she noted.
“That I did,” Luna bluntly replied.
“Well, if you don’t mind my asking, uh… why did you come?”
The princess opened her mouth to speak, but just as she was about to answer abruptly stopped herself. She frowned, scrunched her nose, and turned her eyes downward, searching for the right words for some time. At that moment, she almost appeared to be letting her nerves get to her in very much the same way which Derpy’s had mere minutes ago, much to Derpy’s surprise.
Guess this is a first for her as well.
Finally, after a thorough bit of self-reflection, the princess had her answer. “I was going to say curiosity is why I came, but that would not be accurate. In truth, I suppose I needed to come after reading your letter. After reading it more than a few times, I can safely say that I have not encountered such audacity from any one of my subjects since before my fall and exile centuries ago.”
Derpy bit her lower lip and warily asked, “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
“That all depends,” Princess Luna said, tilting her head as though still contemplating said query herself, “on what happens tonight. Before this night is over, I will reach a decision regarding what is to be done about you. Whether or not that works out for the better for you is on your shoulders now. But at this moment, there is no sure answer I can give to your question. Not until I know more about you, the mare who seems to have a most peculiar taste in history long forgotten by most, will I be able to fully answer.
“So that all being said, why don’t you convince me that your daring to send me a secret message through my sister’s own personal pupil did not stem from reckless idiocy or sheer madness alone? Show me the sanity behind such audacity, if you will.”
OK, this is it, game time. You can do this, you can do this, you can do this, you can do this. You will do this. Here goes nothing.
“I guess the best place to start is from the beginning,” she began.
“That would probably be wise, yes,” Luna concurred. “If your message is to be believed, your journey to this point all began some time ago with the Ordo Extraordinarii, correct?”
Derpy nodded, careful not to break eye contact with the princess. “I’m guessing you’re still familiar with who they are.”
“Well seeing as I played a significant role in orchestrating their founding, yes, I am. However, you’re going to have to do quite a bit to convince me that you were actually trained by them. You see, last I knew, they’d been all but wiped out, and that was over a thousand years ago before my own exile. My sister has said nothing to me about their still existing since my return, and it seems only academics even remember who they were, so as it stands the burden is on you to convince me that you’re not just making all of this up. Bear in mind, I am not some gullible foal easily swayed by outlandish stories. So go on, show me you speak the truth.”
Derpy gulped and feared she might break out into a cold sweat any second now under such pressure, but quickly shook off her anxieties, ready to do what needed to be done.
C’mon, you have nothing to fear. You know that what you speak is the truth. You lived it, it really happened, every single minute of it. Now you just have to show her that it’s the truth as well. No sweat, I mean, already convinced Carrot that it really happened, this is practically the same as that. Kinda.
“You already know who they are, and you probably remember what it is they do as well. Well, here’s what they did for me. The Order changed my life, princess; when I was at my lowest, they reached out to me, believed in me as nopony else had in a long time. Ultimately, they showed me how to lift myself up and become something I’d never even dreamed I could be. For that, I owe them a debt I can never repay.”
From there it was rather easy recalling the events of the past year she’d spent with the Order, despite how outlandish she knew much of what she’d gone through must sound. She told Princess Luna most everything, how the Order had reached out to her, helped her unlock and develop her full potential, and trained her to become a guardian of others. She even delved into what had become of the Order since their near-annihilation centuries ago, how they’d rebuilt their ranks in that time from their hidden fortress Die Schmiede and continued their mission of helping those ponies who could least help themselves, albeit in secret and on a far smaller, limited scale. After all, she reasoned, it might help more easily convince the princess that the Order was still around if she knew what they’d been up to in the centuries since their supposed destruction.
Throughout all of this, the Princess of the Night remained still as a statue, her face a cryptic canvas from which Derpy could derive nothing. By the time she’d told Luna everything she believed she needed to hear, she still hadn’t the foggiest idea what the princess’s opinion about all of what she’d just been told might possibly be.
Much to her surprise, however, the princess almost immediately had a response prepared as soon as she’d finished, and even more surprising was what she had to say. “It would appear, based on your meticulous overview of events, that the Order is still indeed very much alive.”
“Wait, so does that mean you really believe me?” Derpy asked incredulously.
“Why shouldn’t I? The Ordo Extraordinarii at the height of its power was, in almost every respect except in name alone, a nation in and of itself, and a remarkable one at that. Their leaders were always more than capable and especially resourceful, to say the least, and the wealth and resources they controlled were extensive. It’s not particularly hard to believe that a number of them survived their supposed destruction and slowly rebuilt from there, especially for one such as myself who was privileged enough to witness three centuries of their existence.
“Even the idea that they were able to do so in secret isn’t that farfetched; it wasn’t long after their destruction and the Crystal Empire’s disappearance that I fell to the Nightmare and tried to overthrow my sister. Between the chaos and personal grief caused by my betrayal and exile, my sister was kept rather preoccupied by more than a few things as she worked to restore order and harmony to Equestria on her own. In such a state of affairs, the idea of searching for survivors of the Order, much less a secret fortress hidden in the Crystal Mountains, probably never crossed her mind.
“I have found from personal experience that sometimes things are simply… forgotten, if they don’t seem particularly important to most at the moment. ‘Tis a sad truth of much of our history, but it holds true even to this day. However, I am more knowledgeable than almost any other pony alive of the Order’s capacity for achieving rather remarkable feats. So… yes, all in all, I suppose I do find everything you have told me to be feasible. Well, not simply feasible, even; I find myself fully believing you, Derpy Hooves.”
Get out of here! Just like that? She doesn’t even know me, and she already… this is just too good to be true. OK, calm down. She hasn’t said yes yet. Keep it together, Derpy, she’s just said she believes you, that’s all. Not out of the clear yet.
Derpy’s euphoric train of thought was broken when the princess suddenly spoke up. “Before we move on, I do, however, have one more question concerning the Order,” she stated. “Why did you part ways with them?”
Oh right, yeah, there’s that… horsefeathers.
Derpy suddenly found herself presented with a most alarming conundrum. She’d needed to tell Luna in scrupulous detail exactly what made her qualified to protect others, and that meant telling her all about her time with the Order. But in the process, she had conspicuously failed to mention when or why she had left them, an omission which Luna had evidently noticed. Obviously she couldn’t just brush it off as an irrelevant detail not worth discussing, not now that the princess had asked. Telling her the whole truth, however, could prove to be complicated, to say the least.
Derpy could only imagine that explaining the exact circumstances of her departure from the Order wouldn’t exactly leave the best impression of them on Princess Luna. While it would be the easiest thing to tell her, she didn’t know how a princess would react upon hearing that the Order’s leader himself had killed an innocent pony right in front of her, prompting her to flee. She may have had no soft spot for the murderous Dämons Hengst, but that didn’t mean the rest of the Order hadn’t been unbelievably good to her, and she had no desire to somehow inadvertently get them in a world of trouble with Equestrian royalty. To do so would feel like a betrayal of friends and mentors who had worked an immeasurable amount of good into her life and helped put her into this position to now make a difference in the first place. She just couldn’t do that to them.
On the other hoof, she couldn’t exactly lie to the Princess of the Night either if she hoped to earn her trust and the help she needed from her. Even if she managed to deceive Luna (and she had no idea how perceptive an alicorn over a millennium old must be, but she had to believe it was quite a bit), building the foundation of their relationship in part on a lie did not strike her as a particularly prudent idea. After a lie was spoken, there was no taking it back, but there would always be the possibility that the deception would be discovered at some point. Be it a day, a month, even years or lifetimes, a lie could always become known for what it truly was at some point in time.
Derpy couldn’t bring herself to do that either, even if it were an easier option in the short-term. If this were to work at all, if she were to win over Princess Luna’s support, she needed to do so with as much integrity as possible. Making her dreams a reality could not be a corrupt venture, much less from the very start; if it were, she knew the whole thing could crumble at any second. Becoming what she wanted to be, the kind of figure and symbol she had in mind, required the utmost uprightness and incorruptibility possible. If any falsehood were to taint the dream, then the dream could only ever become a lie.
There has to be some way I can tell her the truth without betraying my friends. But how? Hmmm… maybe if I just ‘rephrase’ the truth a bit. Yeah, that just might work.
“It wasn’t easy leaving the Order, believe me,” Derpy began after a pregnant moment’s pause. “I was very close to many of my mentors when I left, after all they’d done for me. But as I neared becoming a full-fledged member of the Order, it became apparent that there was a principled and philosophical difference between us, one which would prove irreconcilable.”
Princess Luna raised an eyebrow. “Oh really? Pray tell, what was it?”
Mouth dry and doing her best to stay as calm, cool, and collected as possible, Derpy answered, “Simple. They made it clear to me that members of the Order were expected to kill should the need arise. I made it clear to them that taking the life of another wasn’t an option for me. Since I couldn’t fulfill every obligation asked of me as a member of the Order, I had to leave.
“No one was happy with the situation, but there wasn’t really any other course of action available. So here I now am, just a mare with full training from some of the most adept fighters and practitioners of the martial arts in Equestrian history, and nothing to show for it. To be blunt, I’m tired of sitting on my plot doing nothing. I need to honor all that these ponies did for me to help me permanently turn my life around for the better, but I simply can’t do that as one of them. Is that an acceptable enough of an answer for you, your majesty? You can call me a coward if you’d like, I won’t take offense.”
The princess mulled over Derpy’s blunt response for some time. For her part, Derpy was just glad she’d found a way to be truthful, albeit in as vague, general, and slightly evasive manner as possible. Still, no matter what the princess had to say now, at least she could rest easy knowing she hadn’t technically lied to her or endangered the Order.
“It’s not disqualifying,” Luna suddenly stated, snapping Derpy out of her train of thought.
“What?”
“Your personal philosophy, it’s not disqualifying,” Luna clarified rather matter-of-factly. “Protecting others does not necessitate applying lethal force, even if violence is involved. That is what you wish to do, is it not? Your message indicated that you want to safeguard your home, and given your experiences with the Order I can only assume that means that violence will be involved.”
Rather than say a word, Derpy simply gave a sharp nod.
“Why don’t we talk about what it is exactly that you wish to do and to be? What does your town need that its denizens, including the Elements of Harmony themselves, cannot possibly handle on their own?”
Without missing a beat, Derpy instantly replied, “Simple. A protector.”
The princess raised an eyebrow. “From what?”
Taking a deep breath, Derpy slowly retrieved the files she’d brought along from beneath her blanket and presented them to the princess. “From something which no one in this town was ready for,” she answered soberly.
Cocking her head to the side, Luna took the files in her magic and began studying them. There was no turning back now.
All things considered, it took her far less time to get through all of the materials before her than Derpy had hoped it would; either she was a ridiculously fast reader, or she was just skimming over most of these files for the time being, but whatever the case it wasn’t giving Derpy’s nerves much time at all to calm down in the slightest. Page after page flitted in front of her, her eyes darting across them at an incredible pace which even Twilight might balk at. Strangely enough, Princess Luna’s expressions remained unreadable throughout this entire process, even though she had to have realized by now how these had come into Derpy’s possession. Derpy wasn’t sure if that was a good or a bad thing, but figured she’d know soon enough.
Finally, seemingly content with what she’d read, Luna gathered up in one swift motion every last page of the files with her magic, stacking them so precisely into their proper order that it looked as though they hadn’t even been touched. Taking a deep breath of her own, she asked, “So, those are the genuine article, aren’t they?”
“Yep.”
“Which would mean they are the property of the Ponyville Police Department, correct?”
“Yep.”
“And most definitely not yours?”
“Nope, that they are not.”
“Hmmm… that is problematic,” Luna stated rather matter-of-factly.
“Yeah, I know,” Derpy candidly agreed. “If it helps, I was planning on giving them back when I was done with them,” she volunteered, hoping that had to count for something. As it turned out, it very well may have, as for the first time since she’d shown up the princess actually seemed to chortle ever-so-slightly at that, and could not hide the faintest of smiles.
“You are a bold one, indeed,” she remarked. “Seeing as you’re here now, with these files in tow no less, you evidently were not caught.”
“That’s not entirely true, if I’m being honest,” Derpy admitted.
“Oh? How so?”
“Well I was kind of… drunk at the time,” she said bashfully. “No one got a good look at me but I did have to beat a hasty getaway. Definitely not my finest moment.”
The princess shook her head in disbelief. “Yet you still managed to do all that while inebriated! It would appear you are the genuine article as well, if what you’re saying is true. So, risking prison time, putting yourself in harm’s way, all that to steal some police files. Was it worth it?”
“That remains to be seen,” Derpy replied. “For now, they’ve at least given me a better idea of what I’d be up against, and I suppose also an understanding of what I know and what I don’t.”
“I still don’t understand why it needs to be you,” Luna confessed. “I’m not doubting your qualifications, or that a problem even exists, but you’re telling me that no one else in all of Ponyville can help in confronting these threats?”
Derpy emphatically shook her head. “Of course not, I’m not arrogant enough to think I can do this alone. Ponyville obviously has more than enough good ponies capable of doing very good things, but what we don’t have right now is a flagbearer to rally around. The police don’t have any concrete leads or evidence, horsefeathers, they don’t even know who in their ranks is dirty. As for the Element Bearers, they’re always too busy with their own work and even when they’re not, criminal activities aren’t exactly their forte. We don’t have anyone leading the charge, showing the rest how to confront this problem head-on. That’s what I want to do… what I can do, if you’ll help me of course.”
“Ah yes, the true matter at hoof,” Princess Luna remarked, staring off into space in silent contemplation. When she turned back to Derpy, looking her up and down like a jeweler examining a precious stone, attempting to determine its true worth, she asked, “And what exactly would my assisting you entail?”
Straightening herself up till she was standing as tall as she could, Derpy looked the considerably taller alicorn right in the eye. It was time to take the plunge of her life. “My most basic, fundamental needs are tools, and lots of them. You know I have the skills to take on criminal organizations or dirty cops, but I need equipment and supplies as well. I have a custom-made peytral and full set of hammer hooves at home already, a gift from the Order, but that’s all, and that’s not enough, not if I hope to wage war upon them.”
“That’s not all you need of me,” Princess Luna asserted, her eyes narrowing as her words suddenly took on a tense air. “Your letter made that much apparent. You need something from me far more precious than money or resources, don’t you?”
“Yes,” Derpy confessed, her voice barely above a whisper. “I want to be a Dark Knight. That’s why I needed you; you’re the only pony I know of who can help me with that.”
Bowing her head, the princess let out a deep sigh and closed her eyes. “Child, do you even know what it is you are asking for? Do you have the faintest notion what it means to be a Dark Knight?”
“All I know is from what I read,” she admitted.
“Then tell me.”
Derpy readily assented. “Alright. For starters, you created them. You realized that there were those who abused your nightly domain, took advantage of the black of night to commit great evils against others. It pained you, angered you, so you quickly devised a solution and put together a new chivalric order unlike any other. An order specifically dedicated to defending the night from evildoers.
“From what I can tell, it worked great while it lasted. Some of Equestria’s finest heroes during this age abounded in its ranks, and they were all free to roam the land and pursue whatever tasks or missions they prioritized, as long as they fulfilled their duties as Dark Knights in doing so. It lasted centuries, and during that time the Dark Knights safeguarded Equestria and its citizens in the night like no others. They only disbanded when you, well… went away. That’s the really condensed version, at least; I know there’s more to it than all that, but those were my main takeaways from reading about them, your highness.”
“Then you know nothing!” the princess viciously retorted, almost spatting the words out, much to Derpy’s shock. “You think this is all as simple as just wanting to be one of them? Like this can all be brought back just like that, as though nothing ever happened? As though the Nightmare didn’t bring them all to ruin, force them to choose between country and their precious Princess of the Night and then kill each other until none remained? AS THOUGH THEIR BLOOD IS NOT ON MY HOOVES, THE BLOOD OF BELOVED FRIENDS WHO I RUINED, LED TO NOTHING BUT DUST, ASHES, AND EARLY GRAVES, WHO I– who I… who I… I… I… I… I… I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I am so sorry, Miss Hooves.”
Brimming with shame, Princess Luna spun away from Derpy and stood stiff as a board. After that, it was just deathly quiet; for how long, neither pony really knew, they were both more concerned with making sense of what had just transpired and how to move on from it. The longer they stood there in silence, the more Derpy realized it’d have to be her who broke it, something which at this very moment she was not looking forward to in the slightest after what had just happened.
She’d heard Luna speak like that at her first Nightmare Night in Ponyville, and while that too was intimidating, this was somehow worse. There was a formality to her previous loudness, awkward and frightening to be sure, but also regal in its own strange and somewhat comical manner. This, however, was simply unhinged, unadulterated, raw power and rage, a cacophony of a thousand emotions whirling together and pouring forth all at once. If she were a saner pony or a more cowardly one she would have bolted already, but she wasn’t about to scare that easily, not when she was so close.
And so, with no other alternatives before her that could possibly do the trick, and Princess Luna clearly in a distraught state of mind, Derpy did the only thing in that moment which she thought might just work and slowly approached the nigh omnipotent alicorn. Biting down hard upon her bottom lip to keep her nerves as steady as she could, she tenderly crept closer and closer until she was right alongside the troubled princess. For a split second just the notion alone that she was about to somehow provide comfort and relief to the ruler of the night herself nearly induced a panic attack in her.
But then she saw her eyes, and all fears melted away.
In that moment she didn’t see a ruler or a fearsome force of nature. What she saw instead, in those vivid cyan eyes fixed upon the moon, was fear, anguish, doubt, and above all pain. For the first time that night, Derpy felt equal in some respect with the princess before her; the hurt Luna felt, a hurt sprung forth from the weight of the past, was one which she was all too familiar with herself. She’d been weighed down by her own demons of the past as recently as the previous year, so she could only imagine what a millennium’s worth of that kind of torment would do to somepony.
Seeing her like this, it only made Derpy want to comfort her, relieve her of her thousand-year-old grief, but she had no idea where to even start. If she could only show Princess Luna how truly loved she was, how much good she could and already had brought into the world through love, then things might get better, much as they had for her. But this wasn’t some friend she’d known her whole life, or even just some run-of-the-mill acquaintance; this was a princess of Equestria herself, a centuries old-being who’d already seen and suffered ten times more than Derpy ever would in her comparably short lifespan. What could she possibly have to teach a being like that?
After a moment’s worth of hard consideration, she fully realized that she couldn’t teach the princess anything, not at the moment at least. But what she could do, however, was perhaps convince one of the few ponies who could help her out to actually do so.
“Why don’t you tell me about the Dark Knights, then?” she gently suggested.
Luna blinked in surprise and looked down upon Derpy as though she were just noticing her. It took her a moment to process her unexpected request, but when she did her eyes softened considerably and her entire countenance appeared to relax somewhat, the knot within her chest seemingly loosening up.
“Very well,” she assented. “They weren’t all that different from your Order in some ways, but there were distinctions. They were never as sizable nor so heavily organized, their bonds not so much communal as that of brotherhood. Some regularly travelled and adventured with their comrades, while others lived the remainder of their lives in dutiful solitude after receiving their knighthood. No matter how they worked, however, their duty remained the same: to defend the night and safeguard all who would seek refuge in its comforting embrace.
“You have to understand, the world was well and truly untamed back then. The Crystal Empire was more of a refuge from the rest of the world rather than a beacon, and Equestria, or at least the idea of what it could be, was more dream than reality in the aftermath of Discord’s downfall. My sister and I, we did all we could, but we knew that all good things in our kingdom could not stem from us alone; we were there to guide ponykind to a brighter future, not dominate and dictate them into one by any means necessary. Such ambitions, then, required as many ponies as possible buying into our dreams as much as we did, and oftentimes that meant presenting them with the opportunities to make a difference. So we did just that. The Royal Guard, Equestria’s governing bodies, the Order, and virtually any other organization that could benefit Equestria and help shape it into the marvelous realm that we knew it could be… we had our hooves involved in one way or another in most all of them. But the one closest to my heart out of all of them was without a doubt the Dark Knights.”
Derpy nodded in understanding. “So what led you to create them in the first place?” she asked.
“You already know why I made them.”
“I’d rather hear it in your own words. Books can only tell me so much, after all, about your own intentions, what was going on in your head and heart at the time.”
Princess Luna raised a dubious eyebrow but quickly nodded in concurrence. “Fair enough. I should be able to say I only had the noblest of intentions at heart, but the truth of the matter, if I’m really being honest, is that they were born of my own personal indignation and hubris.”
Derpy had a hard time concealing her surprise at that remark. “Really? They seem like they did some great things for Equestria in their day.”
“Oh they did, undeniably,” Luna confirmed. “But they thrived in spite of my initial pettiness when I first created them. I was not a very mature princess back then, and childish jealousies were already planting the seeds that would in time be cultivated into the Nightmare. I loved my night so very dearly, but it was a love as raw and inexperienced as it was passionate. When I realized that the citizens of our land were being imperiled at night by all manner of wicked things, from criminals and griffon reivers to wild beasts and even mad sorcerers, I was livid beyond your wildest dreams.
“I already commanded our armies from the field far more often than my sister, but I quickly discovered that such blunt, massive force would not be enough to truly uproot and destroy these threats. Properly confronting them required a more personal touch; calculated, intimate, precise in all things and capable of dealing with multiple threats at once all across the land. My solution to this dilemma was, of course, the Dark Knights; I invited those who in my estimation were not only qualified but also had an appropriate level of affection for the night, and were willing to wholly dedicate themselves to it.”
“And the response?” Derpy inquired.
“Better than I could have imagined. Initially, of course, most of those who answered the call were the Children of the Night themselves, the thestrals, but as the years went by more and more members of the other races joined the Dark Knights’ ranks. They grew, performed their duties and drove back dark forces wherever they assailed the night, and every knight remained devoted through the years to both the night and each other. It was… well, it was good. It was all so very good. Not just for Equestria, but for me as well. In time the Dark Knights became my most cherished subjects, dear friends in many instances. In one I even found… well, like I said, it was wonderful.”
Derpy smiled, the image of the young, robust Equestria a happy one indeed. Sure things must have been in many respects scary and uncertain, with so much work to do in those days and nothing guaranteed, but it must have been exciting as well. Between the arrival and ascension of the princesses, the growing ties between Equestria and the Crystal Empire, and the emergence of groups like the Order and the Dark Knights, it truly must have been an incredible age of heroes and unfathomable exploits.
Her smile swiftly turned into a frown, however, as she considered how this age had ended. Equestria may have survived and prospered in the long run, but so much else had not. The Crystal Empire, vanished without a trace. The Order, nearly wiped out and now but a shadow of its former glory, forgotten by the rest of the world. The Dark Knights, torn asunder and destroyed by competing loyalties between Equestria’s diarchs. And of course Princess Luna herself, banished for a thousand years after warping into a terror of her own making. It all raised more than a few troubling questions.
Looking her straight in the eye, Derpy soberly asked, “How’d it all go wrong? Not just the Dark Knights, but… so much else as well. Seems like so many of the world’s pillars, the very best it had to offer at the time, all crumbled in such very short succession. How, princess?”
Princess Luna silently stared off into the distance at a darkening horizon, filling quickly with thousands of twinkling stars, like diamonds materializing upon a silky black tapestry. It was as though she was peering into the past itself, searching to uproot something from it she wasn’t sure she wanted to, a truth she’d rather remain buried.
Finally, tearing her gaze away from the grief-filled days of yore back to the somber present, she looked down upon this curious young subject of hers. “We underestimated the world, and overestimated ourselves. So much was going right, that my sister and I, we… we became apathetic, so sure were we that the course of history was already set under our watchful eye. We forgot how capable we were of failure, of making mistakes that could have terrible consequences for so many.
“You already know what happened to the Empire and the Order. One day they were there, and the next, they weren’t. We never thought in our wildest dreams before the rise of King Sombra that such a terrible price could be paid all to stop one such as him. I don’t think we even truly admitted to ourselves how much we let things get out of control until it was all said and done. Until so many, so much good in the world, was gone just like that. Then we were truly forced to grapple with the fact that we had not acted until it was too late… left asking ourselves if there was more we could have done to stop all this. The worst was knowing that we could have.”
“So how’d you deal with it? All those regrets, the guilt, the shock of losing so much so quickly.”
“Painful as it was, Celestia bore it,” Luna replied. “I, however, could not. I was already falling into the grasp of what would become the Nightmare, and none of that helped. As I descended to my lowest point, I felt well and truly helpless through and through. I wanted so badly to save the world, to prevent any terrible atrocities from befalling the innocent. I also craved love and affection, just the knowledge that my subjects sincerely appreciated my beloved night and didn’t simply rest through it for the sake of the day.”
Luna snorted and shook her head, scoffing in self-derision at herself. “Like I said before, though, I was not very mature at that time. My desire to save all swiftly morphed into an unhealthy thirst for cold control and order; simultaneously my craving for more love twisted into a hunger for unceasing worship and adoration. The end result, well… everypony knows about that. What most don’t remember, I have sadly discovered since my return, is how my selfishness hurt those I loved most besides my sister. Their pain and suffering nearly drove me to a madness even more extreme than that of the Nightmare itself.”
She paused. A less observant pony would have noted no change in her demeanor, but little tells offered Derpy more than enough clues that she was collecting her emotions. Hairs standing stiff on the back of her neck, her chest visibly tightening beneath her peytral. Even her ethereal mane and tail in that moment seemed to lose some of their typical luster.
“I saw it all,” she continued. “You can’t imagine how much I was still able to see even all the way up there. Stuck in the cold, desolate void, all I really even could do was watch… and mourn as I did. The knights had always had an especially close connection with me. Plenty knew their duty first and foremost was to Equestria, but all had initially been approached by me. I made them knights. I gave them their charge. I saw remarkable qualities in them that few others could. And some… some didn’t know what to do with themselves in the aftermath of my exile. They became distraught, aimless, angry and many filled their hearts with hate towards those they blamed for my downfall. That hate would become the ruin of them all.
“Oaths broken, bonds of brotherhood once nigh indestructible suddenly coming apart at the seams… the dream and promise of Equestria that every knight had been sworn to uphold and protect, now betrayed by far too many of them… and rivers of blood poured out so needlessly. All of it in my name, the wretched, hateful name of the Nightmare. Of all those I failed, I especially failed the Dark Knights in a most grievous manner.
“When it was all said and done, when the dust had settled and the bloodshed come to an end, almost all of them, whether they had betrayed Equestria for the Nightmare or remained loyal and fought for my sister and our dream, were gone. The hoofful that remained were too broken to ensure the survival of the knights; they returned to their mission, but knowingly as the last. When they died, the Dark Knights died with them. Can you even imagine what it was like to watch all of that, knowing that you were responsible for it? That all that was lost, all the blood that was shed, is on your hooves? I hope, for your sake, that you cannot.”
With her sorrowful tale finally at an end, Princess Luna turned her gaze to the moon, seeking a comforting escape in its sublime image. For her part, Derpy looked down at the ground in front of her; she could tell that the princess needed a moment to herself and her thoughts after remembering as painful an episode in her life as that, but she also needed some time to formulate her own next move as well. Luna’s tale may have been a sad one indeed, but Derpy ultimately still needed to get things back on point, which meant finding a way to use what she’d been told just now to her benefit.
At least now I know what the Dark Knights truly meant to her. Just have to find a way to use that knowledge to my advantage; it may sound a bit callous to do so, but I have to somehow find a way to convince her we really do need them again. Or at least one.
Come on, Derpy, you got this! What’s your hook, your angle, how’re you going to convince her beyond any reasonable doubt that the world doubtlessly deserves, no, needs this kind of protector once more? Well… one tiny little corner of the world, at least. But it’s my corner, and right now, if I’m gonna do this right, step up for my home as best as I can, then without a doubt I need her. I really, really do.
“I can’t possibly fathom what the agony you suffered was like, Princess Luna,” she finally began, the two unlikely colleagues turning back towards each other as she did. “But I have known loss. I know the pain of it, and the hardship of overcoming it. Wondering every single day if things will ever really be ‘alright’ ever again when I’m constantly reminded of those I’ve lost. What I lost with them… how precious and irreplaceable it all was. How irreplaceable she was.”
Beckoning the princess to follow her, Derpy turned to the headstone beside them, and Luna followed suit. “This is my mother, your majesty,” Derpy stated matter-of-factly, a tinge of pride in her voice. “Sergeant Ditzy Doo, Squad 7 of the Cloudsdale Weather Brigade. A devoted mother and wife, loyal and true friend… and a hero. She laid down her life 17 years ago to the day protecting others when I was still a small filly, but I’d known her long enough to know the full extent of the pain of losing her. It’s a daily struggle, even on the best of days, dealing with that fact, just wondering how my life would be different if she were still around.”
She suddenly spun around, now standing tall directly in front of Princess Luna and staring her straight in the eye with such an intense expression that it was almost as if she were attempting to stare her down. “Do you want to know what’s worse, though, than all of that pain and the efforts it takes to handle it? Knowing that right now I am not honoring her memory nor carrying on her legacy. My mom spent every day of her life doing all that she could to touch the lives of ponies around her, whether she knew them or not, however she could. Big or small, any act that brought even a tiny measure of joy, love, or goodness into the lives of others was worth doing.
“17 years since we all lost her, and I cannot say in any respect that I’ve ever fully lived up to her name; it’s even more inexcusable after my time spent with the Order, seeing as I now have a better idea than I’ve ever had at any other point in my life of what I’m capable of. That, more than anything else, tears me up inside each and every day. She gave her last full measure of devotion to safeguarding others; I have to do the same no matter what, in whatever way I know I can.”
“But yours would be a far darker path than the one your mother took, Miss Hooves,” Princess Luna sternly countered. “You and I both know this. The skills you possess, combined with the Dark Knights’ mission… it is not an easy road to travel down for anyone. You propose reviving a dream that ultimately ended in failure centuries ago because those who advanced it could not decide whether I or Equestria was more important to them. They chose the black of night over the good of all, and their hearts in turn became blacker for it; how can you possibly guarantee me that the same would not happen to you? That you would not become consumed by this endeavor, twisted into something even worse than anything you might ever come up against? Show me your strength of character, Miss Hooves, and the courage of your convictions, here and now. If you cannot, then we have nothing further to discuss.”
The unexpected ultimatum gave Derpy pause, and she held her tongue before going any further. Closing her eyes, she meditated as best as she could in a hoofful of fleeting seconds, knowing in her heart that her next words could very well change the course of her life forever.
This is your moment. You’ve spent your whole life stumbling and clawing your way to get there, and now here it is. It’s yours… take it, seize it, own it!
“I have no desire to be a glorified, fawning servant of you, your majesty. Nor is my desire to pursue an anarchic mission bent on simply destroying the enemies of Equestria.
“I just… I just want to be like my mom. I want to leave a mark on the world like she did, to be able to say at the end of my life that I left the world a better place than it was when I entered into it, and maybe inspired others to do the same along the way. I make no pretentions that I’m the only one capable of doing so; I live in Ponyville for crying out loud, we’re chockful of some of the most remarkable ponies in all of Equestria! But I believe with all of my heart that we all have the potential for doing something that others cannot, something we’re… uniquely qualified for. My mom had her work with Squad 7; the Element Bearers have the Elements they embody; even you and your sister found your special calling centuries ago.
“Well, while I can’t see how exactly any of this will play out in the end, in my heart of hearts I know I’ve found my calling. That special something that only I can do, and no one else can. That’s not any hubris of mine talking, believe me, arrogant is the last thing I want to be. But any time I think about it, ponder the future, even in all of my dreams, I can see that vision of me fulfilling this… this calling and it feels right, so right, more than right, even. It’s my destiny, and I cannot deny it. But I won’t let it consume me either; I will not be defined by my destiny, princess. No… I will define it. I will define my destiny and cultivate it into the greatest good for all that I can. With your help, I really believe that it’ll only be easier doing so, and I’d be eternally grateful to have it. But ultimately that’s your choice to make, and I can’t force you to help me; however, even if you won’t, I’ll still find a way. I can’t deny my destiny any longer, Princess Luna, not when there’s ponies whom I know I can help. I hope you understand that.”
Standing tall and steadfast, a burning desire gleaming in her eyes, Derpy gave off a bold, self-assured air. “Well that’s it. That’s all my cards on the table, your majesty. I hope you can at the very least say you now know who I am and what it is I want. And I, well… I guess I hope this isn’t our last meeting, but just the first of many more to come. Whatever happens now, though, is out of my hooves; it’s all up to you now, princess. So what do you say?”
As soon as she’d finished, however, the princess began striding away from her. Derpy’s spirits started to sink, stunned that even after all of that she’d have to go back to the drawing board. Her dismay turned to confusion, though, when instead of leaving, it became clear that Princess Luna was instead doing something else altogether. Something rather odd.
What on earth is she… wait… is she… walking in circles?
Yes, there could be no mistaking it, Princess Luna was indeed walking in circles around the top of the hill. She wasn’t even looking at anything in particular, in fact she appeared to be staring at the ground for the most part.
“Uh, princess… what’re you doing?” Derpy asked as bluntly as one could.
Without so much as even glancing her way, Luna replied, “Pacing… it helps me think.”
“Oh… OK then.”
Round and round and round she went, so much so that it was almost comical. Anxious as Derpy was, it didn’t take long before watching Princess Luna circle the hill repeatedly became mundane. Letting loose a frustrated sigh as quietly as she could, Derpy sat on her haunches and searched for something, anything at all even slightly more interesting to look at.
Her eyes soon wandered to the twinkling tapestry of the starry night sky. There was something inescapably calming about the myriad stars shimmering in the sea of black, at least in her current state of mind. There was always something new to see in them, new jewels to find among the countless number scattered across the vast expanse.
Sure could get used to seeing more of this view most nights. Assuming things turn out for the best right now, of course. Sure hope she–
“Miss Hooves,” Princess Luna suddenly announced, snapping Derpy out of her tranquil reverie. The princess was already making her way back over to where Derpy sat, taking sure, deliberate strides. With every step she took, Derpy felt her heart pound harder and faster.
Finally, she was upon her.
For a moment, the princess simply looked her over, as though she were appraising her one last time. Then, at long last, she spoke. “A wise pony recently reminded me that I should involve myself in my subjects’ lives more. Not simply try to solve all their problems for them, but learn to put trust in them as well.
“It was good advice. Very good advice. It is all too easy when you are as powerful as I am to fall into the habit of trying to solve all the world’s problems by yourself. If only it were so easy, so simple, but it isn’t. I can attest from my greatest personal failures just how disastrous it can be, for both myself and those I only wanted to protect.”
Derpy nodded, her heart racing by this point. Was this really going where she thought it was?
“A good ruler, however, knows when to have faith in her subjects,” Princess Luna continued. “She knows when it’s right to entrust them with heavy responsibilities and challenge them to achieve greatness, even if neither she nor her subject are completely sure they can. Because it’s not about being sure of the results she’s going to get; it’s about building trust with her subjects, connecting with them, and letting them know she’s there to help them be the best they can be, or at the very least believes they can.
“It’s something I haven’t been very good at for a long time, Miss Hooves. But I want to rectify that, I really do. So, if you are truly committed to serving Equestria as a guardian of the night, if you are willing to do everything you must to do this right, then… then I will do everything in my power to help you do just that. If you are willing to do what you must, then I shall help you become a true Dark Knight. Are you willing?”
“Y-yes!” Derpy almost squealed in excitement before quickly collecting herself. “Er, I mean, yes princess. I am. I really, really, really am.”
Princess Luna nodded in approval. “Then it is settled. You and I are now committed to this path, and if we are to succeed, we must do all that we can to not stray from it. You are not a knight yet, so there is still time for you to reconsider. But if you persevere, you shall prevail and together we will both see to it that your dream is fulfilled. From there, it shall all be in your hooves.”
Derpy’s eyes flashed with a zealous hunger, and it took all her efforts to keep herself from grinning from ear to ear. “I will, princess, I promise you I’ll see it through. So, uh, what’s next? Where do we go from here?”
“For now, wait for me to get back to you,” Luna instructed. When Derpy gave her an apprehensive look in reply, Luna hastily explained, “I’m not going to neglect you Miss Hooves, you have my word. I will be back in touch with you shortly. First, however, I need to secure the assistance of another.”
Derpy raised an eyebrow. She hadn’t expected Luna of all ponies would want to get anypony else involved, much less immediately propose doing just that. “Who?” she asked.
“You said it yourself earlier. If we’re going to make this work, you’re going to need more resources at your disposal. However, we’re in a complicated position given that you will not be an official member of the Equestrian government or military in any way, shape, or form. In fact, I have no intention of creating the impression that the Dark Knights have been officially restored. The Dark Knights will never again exist as they once did; I cannot have you so closely identifying yourself with my personage, lest you wind up acting as a servant of myself rather than Equestria. This is strictly your mission, Miss Hooves, I am simply here to help you along in fulfilling it.
“As I said, though, the fact that these shall all be very much informal, clandestine activities means that you cannot receive actual government funds or resources, so we need to get a little creative in figuring out how to acquire them. I have a friend in mind already, but I need to approach him first and secure his aid before we do anything else. If he says no then I shall look elsewhere, but hopefully that won’t be necessary.”
The princess turned to leave but paused after taking a few steps. “It’s been some time since I took a chance on one of my subjects with stakes this high, Miss Hooves,” she called out over her shoulder. “What will ultimately come of all this, for good or ill, I cannot say. For now our faith in one another will have to be enough to keep us going in this endeavor. Is that acceptable to you, Miss Hooves?”
Derpy didn’t even need a second for consideration before she had her answer. “Yes.”
Princess Luna proffered a small, contemplative smile at that, apparently satisfied with that answer. “Very well, then. You will hear from me soon. For now, I bid thee farewell. Prepare yourself, for your journey will only grow more difficult from here on out; the night consumes those who underestimate it, and I pray that is not the case with you. Goodnight, Miss Hooves.”
A brilliant blue flash radiated from her horn, and a second later the Princess of the Night was gone. Almost at once Derpy’s chest unclenched, and she took more than a few deep, calming breaths, steadying her still-elated nerves, so overwhelmed was she with euphoria and trepidation all at once.
The princess certainly was not wrong. She could no more say what would happen next, now or in the long run, as a result of what they’d committed to tonight. Yet at the same time, she was more than OK with that, even if so many aspects of this uncertainty should have been terrifying. She was about to get herself involved, if all things worked out as they should, in a very dark, dangerous and frightening side of the world, and yet the thought of it all didn’t shake her one bit. It simply felt… proper. Like she was finally fixed upon a path meant just for her.
So in spite of all the uncertainty and danger that lay ahead, that knowledge alone made this all oddly comforting to her. The fire she’d brought with her tonight, the same fire that had driven her in so many wild endeavors already, was still there as it should be. Now, however, it did not feel ravenous, but rather sated and content, knowing it would have a purpose to fulfill soon. Very, very soon.
Light in the dark. Vengeance in the black. Justice in the night. I will be all these things and more, much more, and good will come of it. I swear it.
“Right, thanks,” the stallion replied, flashing a shaky smile. “What about–”
“Those are the Chantenays, just like they were five seconds ago.”
“Oh… oh yeah, my bad,” Caramel said, laughing nervously. For her part, however, Carrot Top wasn’t finding any of this amusing in the slightest, as evidenced by her scarcely concealed annoyance.
“Caramel, you’ve been asking me more questions than I ever thought anypony possibly could ask about carrots for the last half hour. Are you actually planning on buying any, or not?” she testily asked.
Caramel nodded, though his eyes continued rapidly darting from one type of carrot to the other.
“I will, trust me, it’s just… gah, this dinner for Sassy tonight has to be perfect! It’s my first time putting together a homemade dinner for her since we started going out, and I just want to give her a meal she remembers for all the right reasons.”
Carrot tried to offer Caramel a sympathetic look, but truth be told her sympathy was starting to wear thin. She knew that it was hardly unheard of for love-struck ponies to make mountains out of even the smallest of molehills when it came to courting their loved ones, but even so, this was all more than a tad bit ridiculous as far as she was concerned.
“I got it!” Caramel exclaimed. “Which one would you say is the tastiest out of all of them? What’s the most scrumptious carrot you’ve got?”
Carrot groaned in frustration, much to Caramel’s confusion.
“Look, if I’m being perfectly honest with you there’s not all that much difference between how different carrot varieties taste. Don’t get me wrong, I love growing and eating ‘em as much as anyone in my family does, but carrots aren’t like apples or tomatoes. Some are earthier, others are sweeter, some are even sort of peppery, but those distinctions are minimal at best, and virtually nil when they’re cooked.”
Caramel offered a blank stare in return.
“OK, so… which is the tastiest?”
Carrot buried her face in one of her hooves in disbelief, her patience finally at its end. Her impossible customer, for his part, winced when she looked at him once more. If the red-hot glower she was currently shooting straight at him was anything to go by, then Carrot was more than a little bit pissed at the moment.
Just when Caramel was sure she was about to blow up at him, however, she instead snatched his saddlebag right off of his back and started feverishly throwing a wide array of carrots into it.
“Alright lover-boy, pay attention! These orange fellas here are Autumn Kings. As for the rest, the names Lunar White, Atomic Red, Solar Yellow, and Cosmic Purple should be self-explanatory enough, but because I’m feeling extra nice today, I’ll even write them down for ya. Sound good?”
“Um… sure, I guess,” Caramel replied, largely just relieved that she hadn’t given him a tongue-lashing. Carrot promptly dumped Caramel’s now carrot-laden saddlebag back onto his trunk. He groaned as he adjusted to its weight while she scribbled down the names of the different carrot varieties on a scrap of paper, which she deposited into his bag as well as soon as she was done.
“There you go, you can make a real nice carrot stew or salad with all of those. Now then, that’ll be fifteen bits,” she stated.
Beaming, Caramel happily dug up the bits he owed Carrot and hoofed them over.
“Great! Aw thanks a lot Carrot, these all look delicious.”
“You just be sure to put ‘em to good use and give Sassaflash the best dinner you can, got it?”
“I sure will… just as soon as I get my hooves on a cookbook. Say, you wouldn’t happen to sell any of those, would ya?” he asked hopefully.
What he got in return, however, was the most withering glare Carrot could muster.
“Seriously? You don’t even have a cookbook yet?”
After he shook his head in reply, she rolled her eyes and said, “Try the library. I’m sure Twilight will have just what you need at Golden Oaks.”
“Oh wow, that’s a great idea, thanks again, Carrot! You’re a real lifesaver!”
With that, Caramel trotted off as fast as he could, which wasn’t very fast at all given that he was now supporting a very heavy saddlebag full of carrots. As soon as he turned a corner, Carrot let out a long, heavy sigh.
I swear, why do colts always do everything at the last minute? It’s like being master procrastinators is their true special talent. Maybe it’s genetic. Now there’s a frightening thought.
Shaking her head in bemusement, Carrot began securing her vegetable stand, covering and locking away her produce before pulling out an ‘Out to Lunch’ sign. As she finished locking everything up, she heard the fluttering wings of a pegasus lighting down right beside her and turned to find Derpy now next to her.
“Hey.”
“Hey yourself,” Carrot replied, nodding easily in recognition, though internally she was anything but calm, even if her exasperation from a moment ago was now all but forgotten. Although nopony nearby would be able to tell from looking at her, the level of anxiety she currently felt had instantly shot through the roof the second she’d laid eyes on Derpy. They’d missed each other that morning on account of Derpy sleeping in as long as she reasonably could after her late-night rendezvous, so Carrot as of yet had no idea how things had gone with the princess. It was hard to tell from Derpy’s fatigued appearance, but despite the apparent circles residing beneath her eyes, there was a curious smile affixed upon her face, and her eyes seemed aglow with a nervous energy.
“So… how’d everything go last night?” she carefully asked.
“Well. Very well,” Derpy cryptically answered.
“I see. C’mon, let’s go grab some lunch at the Hay Burger. We can talk on the way.”
Carrot beckoned her friend to join her and together the two mares began strolling through the market as leisurely as any pair of friends could on a typical day in Ponyville, though their speech itself was considerably more hushed than one would expect in a seemingly casual conversation. A discerning bystander would have noted the abnormally high amount of times that Carrot’s eyes appeared to grow as large as saucer plates, an occurrence that happened about as often as her jaw dropped as Derpy continued recounting the events of the previous evening to her.
When they arrived at the Hay Burger about five minutes later, they remained outside for a few more moments, having more than enough to discuss with one another.
“Are you actually telling me she’s going to get somepony else involved in all of this?” Carrot hissed with a fair amount of alarm in her voice, shaking her head in utter bewilderment. “That… I’m still shocked that she said yes so easily, but to immediately propose that as well! C’mon, you’re pulling my leg, right?”
Derpy shook her head sharply.
“I was just as surprised as you are, trust me, but that’s what she said, I swear.”
“Sweet Celestia, you’d think a princess would be the one to shoot down an idea like that, not actually propose it! Are… are you absolutely sure she knows what she’s doing? I mean, she has been gone for a long time. A really, really long time. Maybe she, I don’t know, isn’t as prepared as you might think for something like this.”
Derpy tilted her head in confusion at Carrot’s puzzling suggestion.
“What do you mean?”
Carrot bit her lip and stared at the ground as though she were embarrassed by what she was about to say.
“Well, she… I’d never question the competency or ability of a princess to rule. They’ve been doing that for pretty much a hundred lifetimes before you and I were born, even if Luna was gone for a lot of that. But you know as well as I do that Luna was definitely… strange in more than a few ways to say the least at that Nightmare Night two years ago. I think everypony in town would agree about that.”
Derpy snorted at that.
“Oh, come on, Carrot, she was a blast! I’ll grant you that things were a bit awkward at first, but she eventually came around and got the hang of things, and in the end, we had one of our best Nightmare Nights ever. Sounds like somepony’s still sour about the princess accidentally getting a spider on her.”
“It was in my mane, Derpy, my mane! That thing was as big as my hoof and it was in my bucking mane!!” Carrot countered in annoyance, shuddering at the memory. “Thank Celestia it wasn’t poisonous.”
“I should hope not, considering it was a magically enchanted spider toy,” Derpy said, giggling.
“Was a toy, Derpy, was. That thing was definitely real as real could be when it landed on my face,” she firmly asserted. “But that’s beside the point. My point is that Princess Luna still has a lot to learn about how things work in this world. You saw that as much as I did that night, between the weird way she talked and how long it took her to get the hang of things. And that was just holiday festivities we’re talking about, not even close to being as serious as what you’re asking her to get involved in.”
“Carrot, I think you’re being a tad unfair to her. Nightmare Night didn’t exist before Luna was banished, and I can’t begin to imagine how weird it would be coming back after a thousand years to find that there’s a holiday centered around yourself as a terrifying symbol of the night. I’d imagine that’d be just a bit surreal, wouldn’t you?” Derpy asked testily.
Carrot held her forehooves up defensively.
“Look, I swear I’m not trying to badmouth Princess Luna or question her sanity or anything even remotely like that,” she assured Derpy. “But can you tell me with absolute certainty that based on your interactions with the princess you’re positively sure she knows what she’s doing and isn’t going to do something that’s going to get us both in a world of trouble? Please Derpy, no snarky comebacks this time, just your honest judgment.”
Derpy let out a deep sigh, not out of exasperation at Carrot, but rather out of disappointment in herself. Carrot’s fears were hardly unfounded or irrational, especially considering what was at stake, and it wasn’t fair of her to not take them seriously.
“I guess I can’t Carrot, but not because I don’t trust the princess. I simply don’t like trusting or believing in anything with ‘absolute certainty’ these days except for the principles and values closest to my heart. But Princess Luna, she… well, she’s an interesting one, that’s for sure. She wasn’t nearly as awkward as she was the last time we both saw her, but it wasn’t hard to see that there’s a lot she’s still getting used to about our world. It’s funny, though, in many ways seeing her and listening to her last night was like looking at a mirror image of myself.”
Carrot raised a skeptical eyebrow.
“Really now? C’mon Derpy, that sounds like more than a bit of a stretch.”
“No, I really mean it,” Derpy insisted. “You weren’t there, Carrot, you didn’t see what I saw or hear what I heard. Luna was very open and, well… vulnerable with me last night, at least it seemed that way. The things I brought up to her, the Dark Knights and her history with them, it really seemed to affect her. All of that history, the destruction of so many ponies when they tore themselves apart after her corruption and banishment, she clearly feels some major deep-seated guilt over all of that, and really who can blame her? Yet even though I know I’ll never know the burden of as much history as she does and always will, I still know what the weight of a heavy past can feel like, how the worst chapters in your life can oppress your entire soul for years to come.
“For whatever reason we were able to connect over that, and I… well I just kind of knew she’s taking this as seriously as we are. She wants to see this work, Carrot, and wants to do whatever it takes to make it happen. I know I still hardly know her, but I’d like to think I can trust an alicorn princess after she’s given me her word to do everything she can in her power to help me that she knows what she’s doing. Well? Is that good enough for you?”
After a moment’s contemplation Carrot relented, offering a wary nod.
“It is… for now. Hopefully your faith is well-founded and it remains that way going forward. So, any idea who this mystery friend of hers is?”
Derpy shook her head.
“Not a clue. But if she thinks he’s a potential supplier for my activities and willing to do so discretely, then he must be pretty important, connected, and a bit of a wild card who’s unafraid to step out of bounds sometimes.”
“It’s curious that the princess would know somepony like that, much less be friends with them,” Carrot noted.
“Very curious. But then again, Princess Luna’s a pretty curious character herself, so maybe this isn’t as unusual as it might appear at first glance, at least not for her. Whatever the case, right now all I care about is that, whoever it is, they say yes.”
“I suppose that’s all we can hope for right now,” Carrot agreed. “That and that, whoever they are, they know how to keep a secret as well.”
“Well then, here’s hoping,” Derpy said with a smile and as much cheer as she could muster for the sake of Carrot’s nerves. Maybe it was even a little for her own nerves as well, if she was being honest with herself.
Fortuitously, before they could worry themselves any further pondering Luna’s next moves and what might come of them, they were hailed by none other than Cloud Kicker.
“Why hey there, ladies, how’s everypony doing on this fine day we’re having?” she asked as she landed beside them along with Blossomforth and a few other members of the Ponyville Weather Team.
“Right now, I’m cranky and starving,” Carrot dryly replied. “Dealing with lovestruck stallions who can’t even figure out what carrots they want to buy will do that to ya.”
“Oh-ho, what’s this now? Does our dear Carrot have a smitten suitor?” Cloud excitedly asked, waggling her eyebrows in the most salacious manner possible. “Do tell, do tell, I want to hear all the details, especially the dirty ones.”
Burying her face in a hoof, the annoyed mare shot back, “Not me, you nymphomaniac! It was Caramel. He’s making some fancy dinner for Sassaflash and was bothering me at my stand for the last hour. I swear, why does ‘being in love’ make something as simple as buying carrots an impossible task?”
“Well that’s just love for ya, Carrot. It’s the most irrational, illogical thing out there, always has been, always will be,” Blossomforth answered matter-of-factly.
“Yeah, heh, it’s pretty great,” Cloud declared.
Derpy giggled at that blunt assessment while Carrot just shook her head.
“If you say so,” she remarked. Just as Cloud was opening her mouth to say something, Carrot interjected, “And before you proposition me at all, the answer is no as always, Cloud. I’m not going to get love any more than I do now if I shack up with you.”
Blinking in surprise, Cloud turned to Blossomforth and the other weather ponies and asked, “Damn, am I really that predictable?”
Without a second’s hesitation Blossomforth bluntly stated, “I think we all saw it coming from a mile away, sweetie.”
The whole party laughed at that, even Carrot in spite of her currently grouchy temperament. Once they’d all had a good laugh, Blossomforth said, “Well, we should probably head on inside, don’t want to waste our whole lunchbreak after all. You guys wanna grab a bite with us?”
“That sounds like a plan to me,” Derpy said. As they all headed inside the bustling Hay Burger, her thoughts briefly drifted once more to the considerably more serious matters she’d been discussing with Carrot but a few moments earlier.
I trust her. Really, I do. I have to. This whole business was crazy even before I got a princess involved. The only thing that’s changed is that now, for the time being, at least, I have to wait on someone else and have faith that she knows what she’s doing. That she’ll do whatever it takes to get me what I need.
I don’t like the added risks, and I really don’t like that anypony else, much less a princess, is sticking her neck out for me. But I don’t see any other way forward, and now that we’re here, there’s nothing to do but stick along for the ride, wherever it goes.
This friend of hers, though, that’s the wild card I’m worried about. I mean, what if he’s just plain crazy? If he’s crazy enough to say yes to all of this and helping me out, then he’s got to be batty enough as it is. But if he’s just nuts altogether, then, well… that could be a problem. A really big problem.
Gosh, I hope you know what you’re doing, princess. I really, really do.
Luna Moonrise, just what exactly are you getting yourself into?
Alone in one of Canterlot Castle’s dozens of resplendent halls, the princess asked herself a question that had been incessantly buzzing about her mind ever since the previous evening’s rendezvous with Derpy Hooves. Regrettably, the only answer she’d been able to reach thus far had been that she really couldn’t say for sure where this course would lead. That is, if she chose to proceed down it, of course.
Nay, do not think like that. There is no choice to be made, not now, not after you gave her your word. For better or worse, I am now bound by honor to aid her enterprise one way or another, even if that means enticing others to this cause, reckless though it may seem.
She frowned, contemplating the exact individual she had in mind.
Yes, exceptionally reckless indeed in his case.
The individual in question who Luna was currently hunting the castle halls for was Blue Moon, an outlandish character with a well-earned reputation for being eccentric, impolite, and highly temperamental. He also just so happened to be the current head of one of the oldest noble families in Equestria as well as the chief executive officer of their family business, Moon Enterprises.
An unfortunate combination… he’s too volatile for most ponies to get along with, but also important enough that most can’t afford to ignore him. Ah well, at least he has a good heart. If his priorities were as petty as the bulk of Canterlot’s elite, he’d be one of the worst of the whole lot of them. But everything I’ve observed of Blue since my return has left me fairly confident that his intentions are pure and true; this is a pony with the means to make the world a better place who intends to do just that, an all-too rare quantity indeed.
Luna had not lightly formed such an opinion regarding Blue Moon. The fact that he was a Moon to begin with certainly didn’t hurt; before her banishment, the Moon family had long fostered close relations with the princess while also doing much to enrich Equestrian society. That Blue would do the same was hardly surprising, but nonetheless Luna had to admit that he’d proven himself an exceptional quantity since first meeting her. In the days following her return and redemption, droves of sycophantic nobles had swarmed her once she finally rejoined her sister at the Canterlot Court, seeking to curry favor with her in order to advance all manner of agendas. It had all been quite overwhelming yet also depressingly familiar, to say the least.
Blue Moon, however, took a rather different approach when it came time to introduce himself. Though his reputation for exhibiting cavalier behavior was not baseless, it was not the sum of his nature. With Luna, he’d displayed a remarkable amount of care and thought in his conduct, quietly setting up a meeting with her in the solitude of the castle gardens, away from the chaos of the royal court. Though a bit put-off by the unusual circumstances of their meeting at first, Luna eventually acquiesced after some gentle nudging from her sister, and when they finally did meet, Luna found not a pony seeking to gain favors, but one more interested in conversation and fellowship instead.
He proved to be very sensitive to how alien most aspects of Equestrian society were for her after being absent from it for a thousand years, and had done what he could to help her acclimate to her new environment. Private conversations, dinners with his family, and even trips to cities throughout Equestria had done wonders for helping Luna adjust to and better understand the present state of her kingdom and the world at large. As a result, she could also state with certainty that Blue, by this point, was in fact one of her few actually close friends in this day and age, something that Luna made certain she did not take for granted.
Still, despite her utmost confidence in the sincerity of his friendship and good nature, that didn’t make the prospect of seeking his aid in this particular matter any less nerve-racking. Delicate affairs tended to get only more complicated when Blue got involved in them.
Honestly, most of that stallion’s affairs wouldn’t be half as difficult as they usually are if he weren’t so headstrong. His candor and laid-back personality may be a breath of fresh air compared to the conceitedness of so many other Canterlot nobles, but it certainly hasn’t helped him gain ponies to back his causes either when it’s mattered most. I mean, sure, he’s right most of the time, but it is one thing to be right about something and another thing to convince others that you are. Blue could stand to learn a thing or two about catching flies with brine rather than caramel. Is that how that newfangled saying goes? Yes, I think so. Contemporary expressions are so odd, sometimes.
“Your Majesty?”
Luna blinked in surprise, her train of thought derailed by a vaguely familiar voice. Glancing to her immediate left, she spotted one of the Royal Guard’s more renowned officers from the pegasi ranks, Nimbus Gust.
“Ah, Major Gust, my apologies, I did not see you there.”
In Luna’s defense, it was all too easy to overlook many ponies when most were at least a head shorter than her. Nevertheless, she chided herself for allowing her anxiety to so heavily distract her. She needed to be as focused as possible right now if she wanted things to go smoothly.
“No harm, no foul, Your Majesty. Are you looking for something? You seemed to be quite deep in thought.”
“Oh, I was simply looking for Royal Guard High Command. I was told they were meeting somewhere in this wing of the castle.”
“Well then, it’s fortunate that you ran into me. They’re right inside there.” Nimbus nodded, indicating a pair of doors adjacent to the both of them.
“Truly? Fortune smiles upon me indeed, thank you, major! If I’m being perfectly honest, I may have been just a tad bit lost. This castle is so much larger and labyrinthine than the one my sister and I shared prior to my exile, it’s astonishing anypony knows where they’re going.”
“It can be pretty overwhelming at times, yes,” Nimbus agreed, offering a sympathetic smile to the diarch. “So… are you hoping to join their meeting?” she asked carefully.
“Join? Oh, no, no, no, that… nay, that was not my intent today.”
“Pity,” Nimbus bluntly remarked.
Luna shifted uncomfortably where she stood, the guardspony’s disappointment in her response palpable.
“My sister has a longstanding policy of… taking a ‘back-seat’ approach to High Command’s general activities, and I wish to reflect that policy. We’ll directly intervene in more urgent matters of the utmost importance regarding our national security, but daily affairs and inner politics we… well, we leave to you, as I understand it. There is a certain level of wisdom to such an approach, wouldn’t you agree?”
“I’m well aware of the virtues of your benign command of the Guard, yes. The level of autonomy you afford to us is very much appreciated, believe me. That said, at the end of the day, we are still servants of both Equestria and Your Majesties; some of us could stand to be reminded of that more often these days. Our internal politics have been particularly petty as of late in many respects, to the detriment of several important projects.”
Luna was somewhat taken aback by the major’s candidness, though she didn’t necessarily disapprove of it. The Royal Guard’s upper echelon, she had found, had become just as entrenched in Canterlot politics and social affairs over the centuries as its nobility was, a fact that she regarded as rather annoying. While as a whole the institution was as sound as it’d ever been, many of the Guard’s highest-ranking officers engaged far too often in catty disputes with one another, seemingly more concerned with preserving or advancing their own standing and levels of influence than actually guaranteeing Equestria’s safety.
It was certainly encouraging to see that there were officers like Nimbus who deplored this frivolous infighting, but at the same time it made her all the more frustrated with her and her sister’s own inaction in the face of it. She knew quite well from past experience how effective a firmer hoof could be at quelling such needless nonsense.
Nay, you mustn’t think such thoughts. Things aren’t as they used to be, and I cannot simply force my will upon the Guard like some pompous despot. If I am to take any steps to change the way it functions, I must do it together with Tia. I cannot, must not act without her.
But do you really believe that, when you’re doing just that with Derpy Hooves? Going behind your own sister’s back in enabling someone to dole out their own notion of justice to others, isn’t that exactly the type of rampant behavior you’ve been trying to avoid? Or are you simply trying to prove something?
Well… well maybe I am. And what if I am? I’m not trying to sate my own ego. And I’m not trying to prove something to Tia, or the Royal Court, or anypony else. All I want is to answer Celestia’s challenge, to prove to myself that I can uplift and enlighten my subjects and allow them to do the same for me. It has to start somewhere, and maybe this is where it needs to start with me. But if things go wrong–
Luna’s contemplative introspection was brought to an abrupt halt by the doors mere feet away from her practically exploding off their hinges. The princess instinctively jumped where she stood and lit her horn, assuming a defensive posture. Next to her, however, Major Gust simply stood rigid as a board and scowled at the source of the disturbance, a diminutive and absolutely incensed unicorn with a terracotta-coat and short, disheveled mane whose cobalt color bespoke his name.
“Damn it, Blue, was that really necessary?” Nimbus asked.
“No, but it felt good,” Blue Moon dryly responded before sharply turning back to the room he’d just stormed out of. Behind him, most of Equestria’s highest ranking military officers were either gaping at him in disbelief or glaring at him with a mixture of shock and fury, though any anger they showed paled in comparison to the fire in Blue’s eyes. Aides from Moon Enterprises were presently scrambling to collect whatever it was they’d been presenting to High Command, but Blue ignored their frantic activity and seemed to shoot daggers at the contingent of unicorn officers on the far side of the room. His ire especially seemed fixated on one figure in particular, a heather-colored unicorn who, unlike his more indignant colleagues around him, appeared altogether composed, and even somewhat amused.
“I’ve had just about enough of you miserable, treacherous bastards! Everyone else in this room are trying to be adults while the lot of you are treating matters of national security like a bucking pissing contest. But you disappoint me the most, Fervent. I would think you of all creatures wouldn’t be one to tolerate this petty shit, but instead you’re the bucking ringleader of this entire farce. It’s just plain disgraceful, is what it is.”
Lieutenant Commander Fervent Quest just rolled his eyes at Blue Moon’s outburst, clearly having weathered his fair share of them.
“Oh, stop being so sanctimonious, Mister Moon. You’ve continually failed to address well-warranted concerns that we’ve repeatedly raised about your prototype technologies, and until you do, our position is–”
“That’s just a damn piss-poor copout and you know it!”
“Our position is clear. There will be no field-testing of Moon Enterprises streamlined weapons systems until you can offer High Command confirmation that they will not represent a potential threat to the authority of the Equestrian government or military. We need fail-safes, Moon, not mere assurances that there’s nothing to worry about.”
“And then what, eh? You expect me to believe you’ll greenlight everything if I come back with every single failsafe one could possibly imagine? The world’s changing, Fervent, far faster than any of you are willing to accept, and you’re so terrified of it all, so unwilling to accept the reality of any of it, that you’re content to simply stick your heads in the sand and blissfully hope that the way we’ve always done things will continue to carry us into tomorrow.
“I refuse to believe that fool’s dream, not after the amount of times Equestria’s flirted with disaster in recent years. We either adapt or die, and yes, the changes we need to make will at times be risky, scary even in some of their unintended consequences, but every major shift in society comes with that kind of baggage. Better to adapt while we still can, even if it means sacrificing some old things we’re very comfortable with and plowing ahead into an uncertain future, than standing around and doing nothing until all we’re left with, all our families and friends, cities, traditions, customs, and mores, are all reduced to a pile of ash.
“When you’re ready to play the part of adults and make those hard choices with me, let me know. You know where to find me. Until then, you can kiss my ass when you’re done kissing each other’s, you bunch of dickless horn-heads.”
With that parting tirade, Blue Moon stormed past a wide-eyed Princess Luna and evidently exasperated Nimbus Gust, his aides frantically following in his wake, leaving behind a room full of slack-jawed ponies with shocked or outraged visages fixed upon their faces. For his part, Fervent Quest still appeared to be simply annoyed more than anything else, but when he noticed a royal guest standing in the doorway, he hurried from his seat to greet her.
“Ah, Your Majesty, when did you get here? I’m terribly sorry, nay, I beg a thousand pardons that you had to witness that… most unfortunate outburst. Politics are such a dreadfully nasty affair all too often, I’m afraid, and that was most certainly the case just now.”
Internally, Luna bristled at Fervent Quest’s greeting and had to put forth an extra effort to maintain her composed demeanor.
‘Politics are such a dreadfully nasty affair,’ doth thou think we are a newborn foal! We were leading armies and vanquishing terrors thou canst not even dream of a hundred lifetimes before thou were even a sparkle in thy mother’s eye, and thou supposes to warn us of the coarseness of politics?! Insolent, naïve, patronizing dolt,we… we… I… steady Luna, steady.
“It’s quite alright, Commander Quest, hardly my first exposure to the uglier side of politics. I’m afraid I only just arrived at the very tail end of your meeting, and unfortunately the pony I sought just stormed off.”
“Moon? Tempestuous colt, what’d he do now?”
“Oh, nothing really. I… simply wanted to seek his counsel on a certain matter.”
A sharply raised eyebrow clearly demonstrated how skeptical Fervent was of the notion of anypony seeking Blue Moon’s advice for anything, much less royalty.
“Truly? That seems… ill-advised.”
“Now, now, Commander, it’s hardly our place to question the company Princess Luna keeps.”
The trio of ponies turned to see Tornado Kicker coming over from High Command’s contingent of pegasi, bowing his head respectably as he neared Princess Luna.
“Besides, despite his quirks and temper, you cannot deny that ol’ Blue’s proven to be quite an exceptional confidant to our dear princess.”
Fervent merely shrugged at Tornado’s point, but carefully conceded, “I suppose you’re right that he has been rather devoted to her. With that being said, I’m afraid I couldn’t possibly tell you where he’s gone off to sulk, Your Majesty. We’re not exactly close, he and I. Seeing as I’m unable to help you in this enterprise, with your permission, I shall take my leave.”
Luna nodded.
“Of course, Commander, by all means. I bid thee farewell.”
Fervent bowed once more and departed, a number of his subordinates among the unicorns following his lead. Despite the pleasantries exchanged, Luna was troubled by the bitter bickering she’d just witnessed. A certain amount of healthy debate was to be expected in matters of national importance, but what she’d seen was more akin to foalish quarreling than anything else. She wondered if Celestia was fully informed regarding these troubling circumstances and made a mental note to take it up with her the next time they spoke. For the moment, however, she had other business to attend to.
“Hello there, dear, how goes it?” Tornado Kicker asked his wife, greeting her with a subdued, tender nuzzle that she returned in kind.
“Oh, just fine, Tor, just fine. Took care of all of today’s duties with Machwing and finished a tad early, so figured I’d save you a trip and meet you in Canterlot.”
“Heheh, couldn’t wait to pick up your date, huh?” Tornado remarked, winking at her. Nimbus rolled her eyes at that, but couldn’t stymy a slight chuckle of her own either.
“Come now, Tor, now’s hardly the time to be an incorrigible flirt.”
She nodded towards their hard-to-miss royal guest, which seemed to elicit both a slight blush of embarrassment as well as a more serious disposition from Tornado.
“Sorry, Your Majesty, didn’t mean to slight you like that. Bad form on my part. Now then, you said you were hoping to meet with Blue, correct?”
“I did. Would you perchance be able to tell me where I might find him?”
Much to Luna’s dismay, Tornado shook his head.
“My apologies, princess. Blue and I don’t mingle much outside of our regular dinner parties, but those are always at our homes. I haven’t the slightest idea where he might be, which is probably a good thing. When he gets in a bad enough mood, chances are he’ll take his frustrations out on some poor dive’s liquor cabinet.”
“Oh, that’s rubbish. Honestly Tor, you really need to do a better job of keeping up with our friend’s affairs,” Nimbus asserted before turning back to the princess. “I can take you to where he is, Your Majesty. Trust me, I know exactly where he went.”
Not one to question a mare who seemed as practical and straight-shooting as Nimbus did, Luna nodded and simply said, “Lead the way, then, major. I am in your hooves.”
Before Tornado could get another word out, Nimbus lightly pecked him on the cheek and began to trot away, with the princess following closely behind her.
“Don’t worry, Tor, I won’t be too long. We’ll have plenty of time yet for date night.”
With a final parting wink, Nimbus led Luna away from her grinning husband, whose cheeks had already reddened in the wake of Nimbus’s teasing farewell.
“Um… are you quite sure he’s here?”
“Positive.”
“Odd. It’s just, I had expected something more akin to one of Canterlot’s pubs, or even some out-of-the-way dive. What with his reputation and all.”
“And back in the day Blue would’ve been in just such an establishment, believe me. But he hasn’t gone on a bar spree in at least a year.”
“Might I ask why?”
“His wife. I’ll leave it to him to explain the details to you, Your Majesty, if he’s willing to share them of course, but knowing Blue I doubt that’ll be an issue.”
“But… a Hay Burger? Really? He’s actually in there?”
“Been his go-to guilty pleasure for quite some time, especially when he’s in a rotten mood. Believe me, princess, if I could explain it I would, but Blue’s just always been an oddball like that.”
“On that much we are at least agreed,” Luna remarked, eyeing the unassuming fast food establishment with curiosity.
“Well, come on, no sense in standing out here. I’ll take you to him,” Nimbus stated, heading towards the entrance.
“W-we’re not going to cause a scene, are we? I am a bit conspicuous, after all.”
Nimbus only offered a modest shrug.
“Probably, but you’re not going to let a few fawning subjects keep you away, now, will you?”
“Well no, but… I will seem a bit out of place, will I not?”
“So what? You may be a princess, but you’re also a citizen just like any other pony in there. Far as I’m concerned, you can go wherever you please.”
Luna was starting to warm up to Nimbus’s unusual level of frankness. It wasn’t hard to understand why Blue had always spoken so highly of her in their past conversations. Before she could protest any further, Nimbus offered one last concession.
“Don’t worry, I’ll keep any nosy onlookers at bay, I promise. On my honor as a Royal Guard.”
The princess dithered but a moment more until finally, bolstered by Nimbus’s reassurances, she straightened herself up, took a few deep breaths, and with freshly steeled resolve advanced upon the foreboding entryway.
Alright Luna, you’ve got this. Take it one step at a time, and just… play it cool. Yes, that’s right. Play it cool. Be at ease. And whatever you do, don’t draw attention to yourself.
Standing in the doorway, Luna braced herself for the worst. After an awkward minute of tentatively hovering in place, however, she was pleasantly surprised to find that, instead of a gawking drove of onlookers, all that greeted her - for the moment, at least - was a welcome silence. Aside from a few curious glances, most of the ponies inside simply stood in line placing their orders or sat quietly at their tables, chatting amongst themselves while they waited for or ate their food. In short, things were about as normal as she could possibly hope for.
Huh… well this is unexpected. Not that I’m complaining, to be sure. It’s honestly a relief to see my fears were completely unfounded. Although… even if they were realized, so what? Who cares what the denizens of this establishment think? As the major put it, they’re just ponies like you, after all, and you a pony like the rest of them.
“Ummmmm… excuse me.”
Besides, you have faced horrors the likes of which most of them could never dream of, not even in their wildest imaginations.
“P-p-princess?”
Monstrous beasts, armies opposed to all things good and true, the lord of chaos himself, and the deepest, darkest desires of my very own heart! What indeed are these piddling anxieties next to such adversaries?
“W-watch your step, ma’am, uh, that is, I mean princess, the floor’s a bit–”
Aye, ‘tis but a… a slice of cake, as the modern expression puts it. And like Celestia, I too shall devour it with the utmost relish. Look out, Hay Burgers of Equestria, here comes Luna, and she’s ready to –
“Ack!” the princess shrieked in a definitively unregal manner as the floor seemed to give out beneath her hooves. Before she had the mind to even wonder what was happening, she spectacularly face-planted on the floor in front of her, wings reflexively splaying apart and flank hanging in the air. Putting it mildly, it made for a most undignified display, even by Hay Burger’s standards.
Even before she’d gotten over her initial shock and regained her bearings, Luna could feel the stares. Looking up, a brief survey confirmed her dreaded suspicions; every eye in the room was now firmly fixed upon her. Wide eyes, gaping mouths (some full of half-chewed food) and an unbearably awkward silence that now hung in the air were all undoubtedly derived from the elephant in the room, or rather, the alicorn on the floor.
Feeling her cheeks already starting to redden, Luna avoided the stares as best she could under the present circumstances by fixing her eyes on the floor in front of her. It was only then that she noticed the slick spot that she’d evidently just slipped on.
Ah… the treacherous culprit, I see. Now it simply lays there taunting me, the damned spot.
Morosely glancing to her right, the hapless princess also perceived a pimply-faced, slack jawed unicorn holding a mop and wet floor sign in his magic. The poor bus colt appeared to be even more dumbfounded than Luna was, if that was even possible, and it looked like all the color had drained from his violet face.
So that’s my would-be savior? The poor thing, he’s but a stripling and was only trying to fulfill his duties. It’s not his fault I was too absent-minded to even heed his warnings. But now he’s left standing here as though struck by lightning, bearing a face that just screams, ‘Please, please, please don’t fire me! This is my first job and nothing in its description said anything about a princess of Equestria tumbling into a heap right in front of me because she was too dense to even notice me or the enormous wet spot I tried to warn her about.’
I really must say something to his manager; ‘twould be shameful if my bungling carelessness were responsible for somepony losing their job. Regrettably, that entails getting up.
On second thought, maybe I’ll just stay down here a little while longer. Let’s say… until the earth swallows me up. I’m sure by then everypony here will have forgotten this entire episode as though it were naught but a bad dream. Oh, who am I kidding? I could only wish to ever be so lucky.
Despite wanting nothing more than a rock large enough to hide herself under, Luna presently became aware of a helping hoof being proffered by Major Gust and gratefully accepted it, gingerly lifting herself up. Of course, that didn’t change the troublesome fact that everypony looked ready to mob her with unnecessary aid and a barrage of questions, but all Luna could really do about that was brace herself for the inevitable torrent. It’d be coming, oh, any second now, if she had to guess.
Then, glorious salvation!
“For buck’s sake, princess, you really need to watch where you’re stepping! You’ll scare half of Equestria to death if you’re constantly tripping like you’ve got four left hooves.”
Well, in a manner of speaking. It was Blue, looking fairly less wound up than he’d been after storming out of the High Command meeting. He had his usual, devil-may-care air about him that’d left such an impression upon Luna the first time they’d met. It was simultaneously his true nature, but also, as she’d quickly learned, a lie. Well, lie wasn’t quite the right word for it. A calculated deception was a more accurate way of putting it.
Truthfully, Blue Moon was indeed uncommonly candid by nature, to the point that most ponies simply believed he had no filter whatsoever. It was this belief, however, this public perception that Blue used to his advantage, and so, he was disingenuously transparent to most ponies whenever it suited him; yet, as Luna had very quickly grasped shortly after befriending him, these deceptions were not committed with malicious motivations in mind. He simply preferred concealing the more serious aspects of his character, for a variety of reasons, both personal and professional.
In this particular instance, it was clear that he was deliberately playing the brazen, inconsiderate fool only to draw attention away from the embarrassed princess in order to spare her enduring any further discomfort. Judging by the stares and, in some cases, angry glares he was already receiving, it was working like a charm, but he didn’t mind; that was just his own odd way of being considerate.
“Well, come on then, don’t just stand there like a couple of yokels, you two,” he continued, talking as though they were the only ponies in the room. “Grab a seat. Er, maybe two in your case, Luna, these chairs aren’t exactly built to accommodate alicorns.”
“Hey.”
“Hmmmm… on second thought, scratch the seats, you might be better off just standing instead.”
“Hey, buddy.”
“Though I suppose if you’re feeling unsteady after that spill, you could always use the table as a recliner. It’s a bit unorthodox but I doubt the management in here would offer any objections. You could probably dance on the bucking thing like a mare in heat and not hear a peep out of ‘em.”
“Hey pal, I’m talkin’ to ya!” a broad-chested construction worker barked at Blue.
“Hm? Can I help you?” Blue asked with only tepid interest.
“Yeah, you can start by shutting your gob, after you’ve apologized to the princess. Unless of course you’d prefer my friends and I teach you a lesson in manners,” the earth pony foreman warned, indicating a couple of tables behind him occupied by about a dozen other construction workers, all of whom looked as burly and pissed off as he was.
Oh wonderful, now you’ve really gone and done it, Blue. It wasn’t enough that you took everypony’s eyes off of me, you just had to keep going and make a whole scene. Now all Tartarus is about to break loose.
Blue, however, remained unfazed and didn’t miss a beat.
“Ah, the chivalrous sort, I see! That is extremely commendable, you just don’t see that enough nowadays. Sirs, I like the cut of your jib; you’re exactly the sort of fellows I like having in Moon Enterprises. What do you say you come work for me, eh?”
The foreman blinked and tilted his head, his expression shifting from one of anger to puzzlement.
“Wait, what?”
“Now I don’t have any particular jobs in mind off the top of my head, but I’m sure if you speak with some of my assistants, we can easily get you set up with something. Celestia knows we’re always building something around there. So, how ‘bout it?”
“What the hay are you talking about?”
“Ah, playing hardball, huh? You’re a tough nut to crack, but I can respect that. Very well, whatever you got paid on your last job, I’ll double it, and if you’re currently contracted with someone else already, I’ll triple it if you come and work for me instead! Bring however many members of your crew you’d like, the more the merrier.”
“Well, I, uh… um… you’ve got yourself a deal?”
“Splendid! Now then, here’s my card. In fact, have a whole stack of ‘em, plenty more where those came from. I’ve got to meet with my friends over there, but just come to Moon Enterprises tomorrow and we’ll figure out a good job for all of you. Just tell the front desk you’re the honorable chaps I met at Hay Burger and present my card and some form of identification, they’ll know by then who you are and to send you up. Until then, gentlecolts, I bid thee farewell.”
“Uh, right… I’ll be sure to talk to the guys and figure something out. See you later, mister. I guess.”
Just like that, the entire situation had been defused. By this point nopony besides Blue seemed to have any idea what had just happened; most now seemed engrossed with trying to figure out just who the fast-talking unicorn was, and the foreman and his coworkers for their part simply appeared dumbfounded, probably from trying to wrap their heads around just how much money Blue was offering them, or why he even was in the first place. Blue just allowed himself a self-satisfied smile, shot a cheery wink at Luna and Nimbus, and beckoned them to follow him.
“Alright you two, come on,” he said, heading towards a table at the back of the joint with his friends in tow. All things considered, it was about as isolated a spot as you could find in the Hay Burger, though just as Blue had feared, the seats were in fact too small for the princess. She elected to simply remain standing rather than follow any of Blue’s more outlandish suggestions. She didn’t mind; it certainly wasn’t the first time a chair had been too small to accommodate her.
“So,” Blue began, “what can I get you, ladies? My treat, and don’t say no; it’s rude to take up a table and not order anything.”
“Nothing for me today, my friend, though I wish I could stay,” Nimbus stated apologetically. “I’m afraid I was merely our fair princess’s escort in this matter; she needed to meet with you but didn’t have the faintest idea where you’d stormed off to after your temper got the better of you. I figured this was the most likely place you’d gone so offered to lead her to you. Now that I’ve fulfilled my duty, I shall be off; besides, I was under the impression that Princess Luna wished to meet with you privately. Isn’t that right, Your Majesty?”
Luna nodded.
“Indeed. The major speaks the truth, Blue.”
“Fair enough. Wouldn’t want you to be late for your hot date with Tor, after all, eh Nimbus?”
Blue shamelessly waggled his eyebrows and flashed a most devilish grin at Nimbus, who in turn just rolled her eyes, but nonetheless couldn’t conceal the faintest of smirks.
“Goodbye, Blue, and try to act with some level of decorum, at least. I’ll hear about it if you don’t. Your Majesty, with your permission, I will take my leave.”
Luna waved her hoof in assent, though felt silly doing so given their surroundings.
“You’re dismissed, major, and thank you again for your assistance. I’d surely never have found him without your help.”
“Bye Nimbus, don’t forget to drink plenty of liquids,” Blue called out, eliciting a rather noticeable blush from the princess.
“Blue,” Nimbus said in a warning tone.
“Sorry, sorry, I’ll behave. Now go on, shoo, shoo! And do tell Tor we must have dinner again sometime soon. Azalea’s been dying to see you and I could go for a double date myself.”
“Will do, Blue. Send Azalea my regards, and farewell.”
As the major finally departed from the Hay Burger, Blue turned his attention back to the princess, scrutinizing her with an inquisitive gaze.
“And then there were two,” he remarked. “A most curious pair indeed. So, princess, what can this humble servant of yours do for you today, hm?”
Luna’s chest tightened upon the alarming realization that she had no earthly clue as to how to best broach the subject she’d come to discuss. She’d been so absorbed with tracking Blue down that she’d completely lost sight of formulating a feasible plan of action.
Well, isn’t this just grand? Alright, don’t panic, just… stall him while you come up with something. Look for an opportune moment to bring it up. Whatever you do, don’t just blab about it all at once; even a pony as eccentric as Blue wouldn’t go for such a preposterous-sounding venture as the one you’ve got in mind if you just proposed it out of nowhere like a raving lunatic. Think, think, think.
Locking her eyes on their table, her mind scrambling like a schoolfilly struggling to answer a challenging question in class as she tried to come up with something, Luna noticed a disheveled assortment of food, napkins, wrappers, and a rather large, half-full milkshake. It all looked decidedly unhealthy to say the least, but suddenly the sight of the messy display gave her a fairly novel idea.
“Well, you see Blue, I… I was thinking we’d start with something to eat, as you suggested. What, er, refreshments would you recommend from this fine establishment, if I may ask?”
Blue positively glowed with delight upon hearing that.
“Oh, this is going to be fun. This is going to be so much fun. One moment, your highness, I’ll be right back.”
The unicorn dashed back to the front of the Hay Burger as fast as he could, leaving behind a now very concerned princess.
Oh dear… that level of enthusiasm from Blue is very worrisome. Very worrisome, indeed.
As though attempting to allay her fears, her stomach abruptly growled at her.
Well, I suppose I am hungry, at least. Besides, how bad could it really be?
The princess, sitting on her haunches, groaned and held her stomach, by now chock-full of what felt like half of the Hay Burger’s accursed menu. She could still hardly believe the mountain of food Blue had returned with, much less how determined he seemed to be that she get through it all in one sitting. Every time she finished one item he insisted she try another before she could even get so much as a word in.
“Sheesh, before today I didn’t even think you princesses were allowed to eat fast food,” Luna’s tormentor remarked. “Wasn’t sure all those greasy fats and oils were even palatable to your ‘royal constitutions.’ Glad to see I was wrong! Next time you’ll have to bring your sister along, it’ll give us the perfect opportunity to explore which one of you can eat more hay burgers.”
“Now Blue,” Luna said after swallowing the last of her latest basket of fries, “I really must speak with you about–”
“One moment, princess, you really must try these onion rings first. Oh, and after that I should get an order of cheese curds, can’t believe I forgot those.”
He’s mad! The stallion is absolutely mad. What, does he mean to stuff me till I can no longer walk? Just how cavernous does he believe my stomach is? I’m an alicorn, not a half-starved manticore!
“And while I’m at it we should absolutely sample some of their desserts; I’ve had better, Celestia knows I have, but boy do their sweets sure hit the spot after a nice, hearty meal.”
Hearty?You call this hearty?! This eclipses hearty by a rustic mile! We are gorging ourselves, guzzling fried foodstuffs in a manner I never thought possible before today! Any more of this absurd banquet and I’ll- wait a minute. Is he purposefully keeping us sidetracked?
Narrowing her eyes, the princess scrutinized her friend as he breathlessly continued rambling on about various fast food places he simply had to take her to. It got to a point where words were simply spewing out of his mouth, yet Blue was so fixated on continuously chatting away that he didn’t even seem to notice Luna glaring at him.
Why that little cad, he is doing this deliberately! What exactly is he trying to avoid?
“Blue.”
“Hang on, I was just about to get to some of Equestria’s premier carnivals and fairs.”
“Blue.”
“You wouldn’t believe some of the treats they come up with at these things.”
“Blue.”
“Last year at the Appleloosan Fair, I had these caramel apples fried in funnel cake batter, which was then dipped in chocolate. Amazing doesn’t even begin to describe–”
“CEASE THY PRATTLING!”
Stunned by the sudden outburst, Blue immediately fell silent and almost shrunk in his seat beneath the princess’s withering gaze. Next to Luna’s imposing figure, the significantly smaller unicorn looked like a sheepish colt after being scolded by his mother. His eyes, wide as saucers, darted about, certain that every pony in the Hay Burger was once more staring at them after that explosion. Much to Blue’s bewilderment, however, not a single, solitary soul in the place was giving them so much as a glance. It was only then that he noticed Luna’s horn faintly glowing.
“Eh? What’s this now, a privacy spell?” he inferred.
“Yes,” Luna replied much more calmly as she began to cool off. “I didn’t want to disturb the other patrons, well, no more than I already have.”
“Right, right, makes sense.”
“Now then, my friend… are you quite finished? Or do you wish to continue ignoring me some more? Because I will gladly take my leave if you have no interest in hearing what I have to say.”
Blue’s cheeks burned red as a ripe cherry, and his facetious façade started to crumble right before Luna’s eyes. He looked not merely embarrassed, but genuinely ashamed of how he’d behaved, and couldn’t even look Luna in the eye for a moment. When he finally restored his composure, he let out a long, drawn-out sigh and met the princess’s eyes with a steady, serious gaze of his own.
“My apologies, princess. I got a bit carried away there. You caught me trying to chase away a rotten mood with bad food and buffoonery, but that’s no excuse for my unbecoming behavior towards you. It’s not your fault I was upset in the first place, and I certainly had no license for treating a friend so poorly, no matter how agitated I was. I let my ire get the better of me, plain and simple, and there’s no good excuse for that. So again, all I can really say is I’m sorry. I hope you can forgive my childish conduct.”
The myriad aspects of Blue’s mannerisms never ceased to astonish Luna. One minute he could be the biggest clown in a room, and the next he could just as easily be the most brilliant, serious mind there. It was as remarkable as it was infuriating, though from what she’d seen such a baffling trait fit him to a tee.
Luna offered a soft smile in reply and just shook her head.
“It’s quite alright, Blue. It was clear enough from the way you stormed out of that meeting how foul a mood you were in. But you needn’t bury such feelings with frivolous pleasures and farcical behavior, nor do so on account of my presence. You’ve been a good friend to me and always shown me consideration and empathy; I only ask that you allow me the pleasure of extending the same to you.”
Blue nodded, offering the most genuine smile he’d shown her all day.
“That’s a fair enough ask. Fine then, let’s have a real conversation, all proper like and whatnot. You can lower the privacy spell, princess, I promise I won’t make a scene.”
“Oh… well, about that. I technically did have another reason for casting it,” the princess explained as she maintained the spell.
Blue raised an eyebrow.
“And that would be?”
“Well, you see… I was hoping to keep our forthcoming conversation, um… confidential,” she warily admitted.
“Why?” Blue flatly asked.
“We’ll get to that, we’ll get to that, calm thyself!” Luna replied, though she was unable to conceal the fact that her feathers were, quite literally, getting ruffled by Blue’s irritating straightforwardness. “Suffice it to say that my reasons for our privacy will become clear… eventually.”
Blue just shrugged and nonchalantly leaned back in his seat. It did not escape Luna’s notice, however, that his eyes were now following her like a hawk.
“Alright, have it your way. So, where’d you want to start?”
“I guess my first question would be… what is troubling you, Blue? You’re by nature a spirited fellow, passionate about most anything you care about, anypony who knows you would say the same. Yet before today I’d never seen you so thoroughly livid as you were towards High Command, though from what Major Gust told me – and, if I’m being perfectly honest, from what I saw myself – I can somewhat surmise where it’s coming from. But I want to hear it in your own words, not simply grasp at straws and guess what you’re truly feeling.”
The stallion sighed and looked up at the ceiling, mulling over where to even begin. Finally, after running a hoof through his already tousled mane, Blue broke off his ruminations, sat back up and gave Luna his full attention, ready to tell all.
“I wish I could just tell you that Fervent, the rest of his toadies in the Guard and the way they’ve all been going on like a bunch of jackasses is the root of my fury. I truly wish that were the case, but I’m afraid it’s not. Not the whole of it, in any case.
“No… the truth is I’m scared, princess. Been scared for the past two years, ever since the changelings attacked. It’s easy for anypony else to hear that and say, ‘Of course you’re scared shitless, we were all scared shitless by that, how could we not be? Celestia and the Elements of Harmony were captured, Luna was gone searching for the changelings elsewhere, and if not for what was either a genuine miracle or just sheer dumb bucking luck, Canterlot would’ve surely fallen that very day.’ But my fear is so much more than that.
“I know all of that’s true, and I’ve run every worst-case scenario that could have happened that day through my head a million times. The utter vulnerability we displayed was certainly a kind of existential threat like I’ve never experienced before or since. Yet for me, my greatest anxieties haven’t stemmed from how fragile our society at large proved to be that day.
“No… the worst for me has been reliving my own failures and frailty that day.”
“We were all weak that day, Blue, each and every one of us,” Luna reminded him, her words steeped in sympathy.
“I don’t care,” he bitterly replied. “It’s fine that some can accept that, but I can’t. I failed to meet every measure I set for myself, as a stallion, husband and father. I… my wife and two of our children were at the royal wedding that day. Another one of my kids was working at Canterlot Memorial Hospital. Where was I? Futzing around at home on one of my pet projects.
“Azalea knew I’d be late. She’d even teased me about it before they left. ‘Don’t be too late,’ she said. ‘Wouldn’t want you to miss out on the wedding cake!’ A couple of hours later, when the changelings were raining terror and destruction down upon our city, do you have any idea how many times I trembled at the thought that those might be the last words I’d ever hear from her?
“In those miserable hours when I was stuck at my mansion, just desperately trying to defend my home, keep my employees safe and taking in any defenseless civilians that I could, not once… not once could I even consider trekking to Canterlot Castle. Not once could I think of reaching my wife and children. Even if I hadn’t had my obligations to those under my care, I would’ve had to scratch and claw my way through an army of changelings to even get close to my family. There was literally nothing I could do for them, and that… that, my dear princess, was the most unbearable condition of the entire ordeal.”
Luna nodded in understanding.
“It’s never an easy thing, losing control. Especially when you’re used to having charge of most aspects of your life. Believe me, I know this truth all too well.”
Blue chewed a hay fry thoughtfully for a moment, mulling over that sentiment before he continued.
“The memory of that feeling, that empty, hopeless, bitter feeling, still keeps me up at night. It’s been my drive these past two years, in every enterprise I’ve pursued to try and help safeguard Equestria.”
“And how exactly do you mean to help ‘safeguard’ Equestria, my friend?” Luna asked, raising an eyebrow.
“What do you mean?”
Luna sighed, opting to employ a more straightforward approach.
“What I mean is this: what exactly have you been cooking up in your workshops and laboratories all those sleepless nights?”
Blue opened his mouth to reply but then bit his tongue, chewing over that question for a solid minute. He realized from Luna’s wary tone that he needed to be careful and thorough in his response.
“Well… that’s a trickier question to answer than you might think. Not because I won’t, mind you,” he hastily interjected. “It’s just somewhat difficult to fully quantify everything I’ve been getting up to.
“I guess the simplest way to put it is I’ve been… creating. The past two years I’ve immersed myself in the purest, most frenzied, incessant period of invention and creativity I’ve ever known. That doesn’t mean it’s necessarily been gratifying, far from it; most of my spare time has simply been spent frenziedly devising whatever I could imagine might help defend Equestria, then seeing if I could actually make what I’d envisioned into a bona fide reality.
“Frankly speaking, it’s been downright exhausting at times, even with as many of Moon Enterprises research and development teams helping me out as we can spare. I’ve probably got warehouses full of all the shit I’ve come up with at this point, and I don’t mean stuff that’s been mass-produced, most of it’s still just prototypes. Which isn’t to say I haven’t mass-produced a lot of them, I just wanted to give you an idea how much work this damn crazy brain of mine has put in in the last two years. But I can’t help it, even if it is a pain in my ass sometimes.”
The princess’s eyes widened as she processed what Blue was telling her. Still, she needed more answers, and pressed onward in her questioning.
“But what have you done, Blue? What exactly have you been making all this time?” she asked. “You’re speaking in generalities. I understand there’s a lot to cover, but I need something more tangible if you expect me to fully appreciate, much less understand, the scope of your efforts.”
Furrowing his brows, Blue breathed a sigh in frustration but nodded his head in understanding.
“Alright, alright, if it’s a bloody inventory you want I think I can manage that easily enough. The short version is weapons, munitions, armor, and various other defense systems, all designed to overhaul and fully modernize the Royal Guard, but that doesn’t even begin to cover some of the more ambitious and experimental projects I’ve spearheaded. Admittedly some of them are less practical and more novelty, but others, if fully realized, wouldn’t just transform the Guard, but Equestria’s entire infrastructure. That’s not even an exaggeration, trust me, I can lay it on thick when I want, but this, I can assure you, is the real deal.”
Goodness, he has been a busy bee hasn’t he? It never ceases to amaze me what some ponies are capable of accomplishing when they set their minds to a task. I suppose owning and running a multinational corporation makes Blue’s ambitions somewhat easier to realize, but nonetheless, it doesn’t make what he’s done any less impressive.
“I see… I think I now have a better grasp of your plight, my friend. If my understanding is correct, your highest priority and purpose since the changeling attack has been devoting as much of your energy and resources as you can towards cultivating and implementing new means to better protect Equestria.
“You’ve clearly made great headway in the first phase of your designs; the tools are there to effect great changes across our society. From what I saw earlier, however, there’s one considerable hurdle still preventing your creations from being meaningfully distributed and utilized by society at large: High Command. Am I wrong?”
Glowering, Blue nodded.
“Nope, you’re not wrong.”
“So, what is the nature of your conflict with that body? I believe I understand why you’re as passionate as you are about safeguarding Equestria, but what quarrels can’t you and High Command overcome? I doubt it’s the case that they simply don’t care about protecting our people.”
“Well they’ve sure got a funny way of showing they actually care about our wellbeing, that’s for damn sure!” Blue snapped in retort.
“Temper, Blue, temper,” Luna said, gently chiding him.
“Fine… it’s complicated, OK? A great, big, bucking convoluted hodgepodge of petty politics, personal feuds, big dick bickering and, if you squint and look close enough, a hoofful of legitimate, honest concerns.”
Luna visibly deflated upon hearing that.
“Ah, so Major Gust wasn’t exaggerating when she spoke of ‘petty internal politics’ derailing Guard activities. That is most alarming to hear.”
Blue grinned. “Sheesh, Nimbus told you about it?”
“Somewhat. She didn’t speak of it at length, but she did mention it in passing. Even seemed disappointed that I wouldn’t join your meeting with High Command.”
He let out a roaring guffaw at that, his mirth more than apparent.
“Well then, there you have it. Me? Everyone knows I’m a professional hellion; I’m more than happy to pick a fight with someone if I think they deserve it and have probably run my mouth at half the souls in Canterlot in my time.
“But Nimbus? That’s a mare who doesn’t speak her mind about just any little ol’ thing; she’s as serious and reticent about most things as I am not, and reserves her words only for those subjects that she believes have the weight to warrant them. So, when she’s got an actual bone to pick about something, enough that she’s willing to say so, you’d better believe it’s serious.”
“Most troubling. Most troubling, indeed,” Luna remarked, shaking her head. “Do not misunderstand, I am not some sweet summer child in regard to these matters. I have eyes that can see and ears that can hear, after all. I’ve seen enough since my return to determine that I do not like one bit how catty some of the modern-day Guard’s commanding officers can be with one another, nor how clouded others are by their own personal ambitions.
“Still, until today I’d elected to defer to my sister’s practice of leaving High Command to mind their own affairs for the most part. After all, it seemed to run well enough without our keeping a close watch on it. But now, I’m no longer so sure it’s prudent to manage Equestria’s military from that much of a distance. Please, continue. Tell me more.”
“Oh, where to begin, where to begin?” Blue thought aloud. “I guess any honest conversation needs to start with the most honorable Fervent Quest. Guy’s always been a prick going back to when I first met him at West Hoof, but now he’s a prick aspiring to become the next Captain of the Guard. A new one still hasn’t been appointed since Shining Armor stepped down, but he’s jockeying for the job probably harder than anyone else, and certainly more than the other two lieutenant commanders. To make matters worse, he’s been trying to shore up support for his bid, particularly among the other unicorns in High Command. That’s where our conflict comes in.”
“Oh? How so? It’s clear you’re not fond of Lieutenant Commander Quest, but surely you’re not interjecting yourself into High Command’s internal politics and opposing his bid? That would hardly seem a wise move on your part, in my estimation,” Luna noted.
“Of course not! I mean… look, Fervent’s hardly my first choice to take over command of the Guard, alright? I’ll concede that. But if it’s purely a matter of experience and professional qualifications, he’s not the worst choice either. I may not like the guy – and trust me, the feeling is most definitely mutual – but that doesn’t mean I’m going to pretend he’s totally shit at doing his job. He throws his family name’s weight around when he feels like it, sure, but for the most part he’s earned his rank, which is far more than I can say about some of the other nobles in the Guard.”
Luna raised a skeptical eyebrow, but was fairly certain that Blue was being straightforward with her, especially given that it appeared to pain him just to concede even these half-hearted compliments about his bitter foe.
“In any case, I would never try to swing that vote, even if I detest one of the leading candidates for the job; I love the Guard, but I’m not in it anymore. My West Hoof and Long Patrol days are far behind me, and while I try to stay close to the Guard’s affairs between my work with them and my many friends and associates still in it, there’s simply not a proper part for me to play in helping resolve that predicament.
“No, what Fervent’s been doing that’s pissing me off to no end is boosting his rep with his unicorn buddies by dicking around with all of my efforts to modernize the Guard!”
“How exactly does that, eh, ‘boost his rep,’ as you put it?” Luna inquired.
“Simple. Most of the innovations I’ve developed to modernize the Guard are magical in nature. I’m not talking about magical items that can be strictly utilized by capable unicorns or other creatures with innate magical abilities, I mean very simple items and devices that can be easily wielded by basically anyone with enough brains to learn how to use them, including any of the pony races.”
“Seems like a logical-enough proposition, if not a particularly original one,” Luna noted. “If my recollection’s correct, magical items like you’re describing have been utilized by both pony and other creatures armed forces all over the world for centuries. I’ve even witnessed some such weapons in action firsthoof.”
Blue smirked, giving the princess a knowing look.
“Thought you might say that. Your observation is accurate, items infused with magic have been used in war for almost as long as war’s existed. Hell, if I’m being honest, most of what I’ve developed doesn’t even come close in magical potency to some of the legendary magical weapons or armor of old.
“Fervent’s big stink isn’t about the quality of my creations, but rather the quantity. I told you before, my work, if fully implemented, would modernize the Guard on a revolutionary scale. Well, that’s because not only can most of what I’ve made be easily carried and used by soldiers in the field, but it can just as easily be manufactured in bulk!
“Historically, magical items of war, even the weaker ones, have been too challenging to make to even bother trying to produce them in large quantities. The result is that the most powerful ones have typically been reserved for high-ranking officers or the best fighters available, while others have been held as novelty items only worth using under unusual circumstances. Only some of the fiercest conflicts in world history like the Lunar Rebellion have seen what we’d even consider to be moderate use of such items by non-magic users.
“Don’t you see? This would change all of that. Suddenly, any single pony in the Guard, not just unicorns, would be able to deploy magical abilities in the field on a significant scale. That’s what Fervent and his unicorn toadies want to stop at all costs, and it’s why they’ve been so opposed to my overtures at every single turn; they know this would completely undermine their influence and standing in the Guard as the only pony race currently capable of employing raw magic in the field.”
Luna blinked rapidly as she processed all of this, especially taken aback by Blue’s charge against Fervent.
“Goodness, that’s… an incredibly serious accusation you’re making, Blue.”
“Right? It’s downright bucked-up is what it is, damn near close to treason! Just thinking about it’s enough to get me worked up into a bucking frenzy.”
“Now hold on, calm down,” Luna implored Blue, beckoning him to remain seated with a gesture of her hoof. “Let’s approach this rationally. For starters, do Fervent and his allies have any genuine, reasonable concerns about your prototypes and how they would change the Guard?”
Regrettably, the princess’s attempt to cool down Blue’s ire only seemed to agitate him even further.
“Sure they do, that’s the bucking problem. It’s all they ever talk about! They’re not stupid enough to offer objections that are bald-faced efforts to maintain their clout in the Guard, the pegasi and earth ponies would never stand for that, especially when those objections can easily be construed as racist and treasonous as well. So, I just keep hearing the same ol’ shit from them instead. ‘These systems present unprecedented threats to the Guard and the throne,’ ‘you’re trying to set off an arms race,’ ‘we need guaranteed fail-safes before we’ll greenlight anything.’ The two-faced bastards.”
Before he could vent anymore, Blue shoveled a bunch of hay fries into his mouth, a crude but effective means to keep himself from getting angrier than he already was. After a moment of chewing in silence, it seemed to be working, even if Luna could swear there was steam rising off of his head and shoulders. Finally, after gulping down the last of his hay fries, he picked up right where he left off.
“Sorry. My point is, they’re being sanctimonious assholes. Look, I’m not some naïve spring chicken. I knew going in how sweeping and ambitious my proposed modernization of the Guard is. Even anticipated many of the legitimate challenges I’ve received because, let’s be honest, they are fair concerns. But at this point, every time I hear them they feel like nothing but a slap in the face since they’re not being made in good faith. They’re just being used as a cheap obstacle.
“It’s fair to be worried about overpowering the Guard, or concerned that other creatures would regard the Guard’s modernization as an act of aggression. I’ve never once said any of this shouldn’t be undertaken without the utmost care, prudence and restraint, and at Moon Enterprises I’ve had several teams devoted to putting together the best procedures that High Command and the Guard could possibly follow in integrating our proposed systems into their activities. None of that matters, though, not to Fervent’s faction. No matter what I say, no matter how plausible my proposals and plans are for the Guard, they won’t give me an inch. They won’t even authorize exploratory measures that would allow us to gather actual data on how our tech works in real world scenarios. And it’s all justified by those damned pretexts they keep trotting out with shit-eating grins on their faces.”
“What kind of ‘exploratory measures’ do you keep asking for?” Luna asked.
Blue shrugged.
“Field-testing mostly, you know, pretty standard stuff. We’ve got great facilities at Moon Enterprises for testing most of our systems basic functions, but that only tells us if the shit works and, at best, gives us an idea of what we can expect once it’s out in the real world. Field-testing, on the other hoof, that’s the first step towards actual integration of our systems into the Guard.
“The most obvious way to go about that would be equipping the Long Patrol with some of the most basic systems we’ve developed and, from there, cataloging how they use it in the field. I should know, after all, I was in it. For starters, they’re one of our most elite special forces, and what’s more, most of their activities take place up north, far from heavy population centers and most pony civilization in general. They’re the perfect group to equip with experimental tech of any kind before the rest of the Guard even sniffs it, and the data we’d gather from their employing it would be invaluable.
“What systems are most effective or useful in the field; which ones are impractical or potentially hazardous; what can be safely and easily distributed for use by all members of the Guard and, conversely, what should be reserved for elite units only, or not allocated to the Guard at all. These are all concerns that Fervent and his allies keep raising, and we’d gain a better understanding of all of these and many other points at issue through field-testing. Yet, they’re the same chumps preventing us from addressing any of these concerns with concrete, scientific evidence since they won’t approve any measures that would allow us to gather it.
“I don’t know about you, but to me, such an absurd paradox stinks to high heaven of a party negotiating in bad faith. Fervent’s cabal has no intention of giving any ground, and they’ll happily stay the course as long as they know they can get away with it. Right now, the sad truth is there’s nothing stopping them from doing just that.”
For an uncomfortably long moment, Luna just sat there in stunned silence. Assuredly, she’d seen all manner of dirty political maneuvering her entire life; it was an unfortunate feature of her world and one she’d almost grown numb to at this point in her life as a ruler. She wasn’t even shocked by the notion of military officers engaging in this foul game. She’d seen plenty of Equestria’s earliest military leaders, from villainous scum to war heroes loved and admired by all, fight each other out of the public eye tooth and nail for as much power and influence as they could grab hold of. More often than not, they fought even harder and dirtier to hang onto whatever they managed to get, like ravenous sharks in a feeding frenzy.
What shocked her senses, however, was how shamelessly needless and petty this particular squabble was. If Blue’s understanding of Fervent’s actions was indeed accurate, one of the Royal Guard’s highest-ranking officers, along with his followers, was deliberately preventing the entire Guard from improving itself over a personal grudge with Blue and in the interest of preserving his own race’s standing within it.
Blue’s temper, without question, certainly wasn’t doing him any favors in advocating for his position, but his anger at this situation and the forces hampering his efforts did seem to be more than understandable. It was hard to charitably interpret Fervent’s behavior, even from a neutral standpoint. He very well might believe his hindrance to be justifiable as both the most logical and conscientious approach to this matter, but even if that were the case, the fact of the matter was that he was brazenly placing his own personal ambitions and unicorn interests above the oaths he’d sworn to defend Equestria. It was one thing to exercise caution in resolving how to best introduce new changes to the Guard, but to not even consider the merits or feasibility of what Blue was offering was simply absurd.
Unacceptable. Absolutely unacceptable. How did we let such an important body get this out of hoof? Personal quarrels and political aspirations dictating the very prospects of the Guard?! I will not stand for such audacious foolishness, nor should Celestia. We must act as one and stamp out this lunacy before it does any further harm to the Guard than it already has.
No, we should go further than that. I should go further. ‘Tis my duty to do so. I must send a sharp, clear-cut warning to all who would dare treat an institution like the Guard as their plaything, a mere arena for their political sport, I will personally see to it that they rue the day they… steady.
Steady, Luna.
Control yourself.
Wrath will get you nowhere in righting these wrongs. You’ve already learned that the hard way before. These are not your enemies, they are your subjects, same as any other citizen of Equestria. And they need to be given the chance to do the right thing… after they’ve been corrected, of course. Reminded – strongly reminded – that their oaths to Equestria override any ties to kin or tribe, much less their own desires.
First things first, however, I must deal with Blue. After all, I’m not just here to ease his mind; in fact, after what he’s told me, I’m more certain now than I was before that Miss Hooves and I need his help as much as he needs mine.
“Blue… what is it that you want from me?” Luna finally asked.
Blue studied the princess very carefully, his eyes gleaming with a nameless ardor, before speaking.
“I think I should be asking you the same thing,” he replied with a knowing smile, eliciting a small sigh from Luna.
I swear, he’s too damn smart for his own good sometimes.
“I didn’t bring my troubles to you, Your Majesty, in fact, quite the opposite. You sought me out. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the gesture, truly I do. In my mind, you’ve only reinforced what a true friend and thoughtful ruler I already knew you to be. But not once have I called upon you regarding my present hardships, nor, to my knowledge, have any of my friends or kin. I’m also quite sure neither the earth ponies or pegasi, even the Kickers, approached you; they’re disturbed by the unicorns stonewalling, but most fear that explicitly bringing this to the attention of you or your sister would only erode trust in High Command and cause even more discord. This was all you, and I’m left with one simple question: why?
“Why did you seek me out? What were you after in doing so in the first place? I don’t doubt you had some sense of how dysfunctional High Command has been and how I’ve been getting nowhere with them, but based on your own astonishment at what I’ve been telling you, you had no idea things were this bad. So clearly you didn’t just come to offer me your assistance; if you had, you might have intervened at the High Command meeting earlier, or at least joined it.
“But you need me for some reason, and what that is I haven’t yet figured out. I also haven’t figured out why you needed to solicit whatever it is you want from me under the cover of a privacy spell. Unless, of course, you were just fishing for info on the state of High Command, though I’m not sure why we’d need a privacy spell for that. And yet… something in my gut tells me that’s not it.
“So, how about it, princess? Care to quit beating around the bush and share what it is you need of this humble servant of yours, hm?”
Oh yes, too damn smart, indeed. Very well then, let the die be cast.
“You’re right, my friend. I do, in fact, need to ask something of you, something I could only ask for in the confidentiality afforded by a privacy spell. First, let me make one thing clear: this is not a quid pro quo. I will help you however I can with your own present plights, regardless of whether or not you can do the same for me. Your problems are too imperative to ignore, and affect much more than just yourself; the future and wellbeing of several of Equestria’s most critical institutions, namely the Guard, are at stake. I’d be a pretty poor diarch if I were to simply avoid dealing with these affairs, regardless of my reasoning.
“So, here’s what I can offer. I will absolutely talk to my sister about this matter and press her to join me in both rectifying the current manner in which High Command conducts itself and resolving your disputes with them. I’m quite certain after what you’ve told me that there exists a middle path for all involved parties that you’d all be at least satisfied with. I will not rest until Celestia and I have helped you and High Command settle on this path, for all of Equestria stands to benefit from it when you do. What exactly that path looks like I cannot yet say, but I can tell you this: failure to reach a resolution at all is an outcome I will not accept. You have my solemn word, as your princess of the night, on that.”
“A most generous pledge indeed, Your Majesty. Thank you. I’ll gladly accept whatever aid you offer,” Blue said, quite evidently pleased already.
So far so good. Now comes the tricky part.
“Very good. Now then, in regard to field-testing things get a little more complicated. I’ll do what I can along with Celestia to see that units such as the Long Patrol can be outfitted with your systems as soon as possible, at least in a limited capacity, but it will probably be months, if not longer, before that aim is realized. In the meantime, your options are tenuous at best. Which… brings me to what I need to ask of you.”
Blue raised both eyebrows in mild surprise.
“Go on.”
“Well… as I said, your options – that is, your options through lawful and recognized channels such as the Guard – are limited right now. There is, however, another possible course for you to take right at this very moment that would allow you to immediately begin field-testing to your heart’s desire. The sole drawback is that you wouldn’t be able to share any of the data you gather since… well, this alternative isn’t, strictly speaking, um… legitimate.”
“OK… define ‘legitimate’,” Blue entreated, leaning back in his seat. “Is this a legal channel?”
“It’s not criminal, if that’s what you’re asking,” Luna hastily assured him. “It’s just not a recognized body, well, not recognized now.”
“Why not?” Blue bluntly asked.
“Because it… doesn’t technically exist in this day and age,” she hesitantly admitted.
Blue threw his forehooves into the air in frustration at that, an understandable response, to say the least.
“Princess, c’mon, we’re going in circles here. I like to think you know me enough to know I’m a trustworthy confidant, especially for something this sensitive. So please, quit speaking in riddles and just tell me what this is all about?”
Taking a couple deep breaths, Luna composed herself before taking the plunge. There was no going back now.
“Alright. Last night, I met with a… let’s call her a ‘concerned citizen’ for now. She’d reached out to me through a confidential letter in which she expressed her unease about the level of crime in her community and conveyed her intent to do something about it, but she wanted my help. That alone was peculiar enough, but what also caught my eye was that she specifically referenced the Dark Knights. I found that exceptionally curious; from what I’ve seen, most ponies in this day and age have never even heard of the Dark Knights.”
“A secret letter to one of Equestria’s diarchs and vigilante aspirations? Heh, ballsy, very ballsy. I think I like her already,” Blue quipped. “Then again, maybe she’s just mad as a March hare. But you met with her, so you’d know better than I would. So, did she make a good first impression?”
“Strangely enough, yes,” Luna conceded.
“What’s so strange about it?”
“Well normally my first instinct when someone presents stolen police files to me in a clandestine meeting is to contact the local authorities as soon as possible,” Luna remarked.
“Wait, she did what?!” Blue asked in disbelief.
“It’s exactly as I said. She wanted to show me evidence that her allegations about crime in her hometown were not hyperbole or some figment of her imagination, so she gave me police files that she admitted she stole in a state of inebriation.”
“And she was drunk to boot! Forget what I said before, I don’t just like this little lady, I think I’m in love. Don’t stop now, oh please don’t, tell me more!”
Blue was practically giddy with excitement by now, bouncing in his chair like a colt enthralled by his favorite bedtime story.
“Calm yourself, this is a serious matter,” Luna insisted. “Anyway, as I was saying, yes, she backed up her claims with police files that she’d stolen, well, borrowed I should say. She did maintain that she was going to return them after our meeting, after all. But they were definitely the genuine article, and painted a grim picture indeed of alarming levels of rampant, organized crime in her community. What’s more, they also disclosed that the local police commissioner has strong suspicions that there are corrupt police officers in their ranks. All in all, it made for dismal reading material.”
“Sure sounds like it,” Blue readily granted. “Not all that hard to believe, really, at least if you’ve been paying attention to things. I may not be in law enforcement, but I have plenty of associates who are, and between them and the news, I’ve read and heard enough to know that multiple cities around Equestria have seen significant spikes in their crime rates in the past few years. Several criminal organizations seem to be flexing their muscle, and they’re being oddly smart and efficient about it.
“To date I haven’t given it too much thought or concern aside from passing interest, but it hasn’t really affected me either. I mean, when you’re a billionaire, you’re more likely to be a criminal than be touched by one, am I right? Er, not that I’d do anything of the sort,” he hastily added with a sheepish grin.
“My point is, I can see why others closer to the effects of this organized crime wave and the communities touched by it would be troubled enough that they’d want to take matters into their own hooves. What I’m having trouble understanding, however, is why you seem to be on board with this. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not frowning on it; I just want to know how this mare you’d never met before last night, with such outlandish requests and ambitions, managed to earn your trust after a single conversation? I hold your judgment in high regard, princess, so earning your trust alone is, by my estimation, a laudable feat. How’d she win you over?”
Luna raised an eyebrow.
“I merely acknowledged that she made a good first impression on me. How do you know for certain that I agreed to help her?”
“We’re talking about her, aren’t we?” Blue shot back matter-of-factly. “I doubt you’d have even brought her up if you were still contemplating whether or not you intend to give her your backing.”
Luna nodded in concession.
“Fair enough. Your conjecture is correct; I have, indeed, agreed to help this concerned citizen. To be precise, I have resolved to help her amass the resources she needs in order to launch an effective campaign against the criminal elements in her hometown and, once that has been taken care of, to name her a Dark Knight.
“Before you ask, Celestia is not aware of any of this. Not the letter, the meeting, my decision, any of it. I mean to keep it that way. As far as I’m concerned, this is a completely surreptitious affair; all involved parties will be operating outside of the law and could very well face consequences if our involvement is discovered. Even knowing this applies to me as much as it does any other participants, I’ve accepted it as a tolerable stipulation. What I want–”
“That’s nice and all, princess, but it doesn’t answer my question,” Blue interrupted, catching Luna somewhat off guard. “How’d she win you over? I’d like to know before you ask me if I’d like to join this little escapade of yours. That is what you were building up to, yes?”
Sun, moon and stars, for as charming a fellow as he is, he sure can be infuriating when he wants to.
“It was, yes,” she conceded, resisting the urge to speak through gritted teeth. “But your question is a fair one, and you’re right, I didn’t really answer it. So, how did she win me over? That’s more difficult to answer than you might think.
“I could tell you that she earned my confidence with the glut of evidence she gave me that she has the requisite skills and determination to pull something like this off, but that wouldn’t be the whole truth. I could tell you I put my faith in her simply because I desperately need to believe in other ponies once more, and not merely rely on my own faculties to try in vain to solve all the world’s problems; although this is true, it too is not how she won me over.
“In the end, while those were both important factors, I suppose what it truly came down to was something more profound, difficult to put into words. Call it a matter of the heart, if you will. Last night, in that single, seemingly ordinary mare, I saw something laid bare that I hadn’t seen in centuries: the heart of a Dark Knight. It’s hard to express exactly what that means, even to me, but I guess the best way I can put it is that, when someone’s meant to be a Dark Knight, there are singular, enigmatic qualities they display that just… just resonate with me, in some such way. Somehow, the night resides in their souls in much the same way that it dwells in mine, even if its manifestation differs acutely from pony to pony.
“I saw this all the time back in the Dark Knight’s heyday; whenever I vetted new candidates and found ones qualified to join the knights, it was as though they were marked for it. Like there was nothing else in their lives that could possibly make more sense than joining such an order. That wasn’t always for the best, believe me; there’s a dark side to being suited for a group like the Dark Knights, as was all too apparent when so many declared war on Celestia, Equestria and their own kin when I fell to the Nightmare. But at their best, the most exemplary of their number were shining lights in the darkness, like moon rays piercing through a cloudy night sky. I saw that promise, that capacity for something truly special, last night in a pony I’d met for the very first time.
“Maybe I’m just being naïve or overly optimistic. Perhaps my judgment is impaired after not recruiting a single new Dark Knight in over a millennium. However, I pray that’s not the case. In my heart of hearts, I wholeheartedly believe that my hope in this mare is not but a fool’s hope. Even though I can’t fully explain it, I choose to believe instead that, with the right backing and guidance, she could change the world for the better.
“In the end, history may well judge my faith to be a mistake; it certainly wouldn’t be the first time I made the wrong decision. But until that day comes, I choose to believe in her all the same. Does that sufficiently answer your question, my friend?”
Luna awaited his reply with bated breath. After a pregnant pause, however, Blue simply shrugged and casually said, “Sure.”
She blinked, then waited for what else he had to say. Then, after coming to the realization that he really had nothing else to say, she got annoyed.
“Was there… anything else you wanted to add?” she asked, the slightest hint of agitation coloring her words.
“Nah, not really,” Blue replied, shaking his head. “I must say, you princesses are pretty damn low-key most of the time, but when you want to make a point, goodness do you ever! Not sure I’ve ever heard you say that much in a single one of our past conversations.”
“An astute observation, Blue,” Luna dryly remarked, rolling her eyes. “But I guess what I’d really like to know is, after hearing me lay bare my soul like that… well, what are your impressions of this venture I’m embarking on? Moreover, is this a road you’d be willing to go down yourself?”
“Ah, right, I guess there are some matters of concern to address,” he conceded, albeit in a still rather laid-back manner. “Well first off, I don’t think it much matters what I think about what you’re doing. After all, you’re a grown ass mare by a hundred lifetimes or so; notwithstanding your past mistakes and transgressions, I think it’s safe to say that after all this time you’d know a worthwhile gamble when you see one.
“But if you really want my honest opinion, I think it’s the right call, no joke; it’s a bit crazy to be sure, but it’s crazy in the name of a good cause, and oftentimes I’ve found that the loftiest goals require at least a smidgen of insanity if one hopes to surmount them.”
Luna perked up at that response.
“So, what does that mean for you, then?” she asked hopefully.
“Oh, plenty,” Blue vaguely answered in an oddly cheery manner.
“Blue, please!” Luna implored him. It was getting to the point that she just wanted to slam her head against the table in frustration.
“Hang on now, you can’t rush an answer like this out of me,” he countered. “I’ve got a lot to sort out in my head over something this consequential.”
“Oh, o-of course… my apologies,” Luna stuttered out, feeling somewhat abashed.
“No apology needed, but thanks nonetheless,” Blue said, easygoing as could be. “Now, that said, here’s what I think.”
Cocking her head and blinking rapidly, Luna did a double take.
“Wait, wait, wait, you just said you had a lot to sort out!”
“Yeah, I did. Don’t worry, I got it all figured out.”
Astonished, the princess asked, “When did you do that?”
“When you were apologizing.”
“Oh, you are impossible!” she exclaimed with a scowl.
“Heh, trust me, I know, my wife reminds me often enough,” Blue chuckled. “Anyway, here’s how I see it. If I join, I get to start collecting data almost immediately on how my systems work in a real-world setting. As a nifty little bonus, it’d be in the name of an ostensibly good cause, assuming everything works out as hoped, of course.
“That’s the most obvious benefits I can think of; a pretty short and straightforward list, but that’s not a deal breaker, at least not for me, at any rate. The risks are where things get a touch more complicated. With a project like this one that quite plainly skirts the law, to say the least, there are legal, professional and even personal liabilities to consider.”
Blue took a slow, deliberate sip from a soft drink and cleared his throat before resuming his appraisal of the situation.
“First, there’s of course a chance that your friend fails in some manner in her mission; she could quit, go crazy or even rogue, hell, she just might not be very good at it. Worst case scenario, she meets her untimely demise in the line of duty. Now, any of those outcomes would be bad, but they’re mostly her risks to worry about, and I’m sure she’s keeping them in mind. Still, if I do partake in all this, I’d like to do all I can to help us avoid such scenarios.
“Second, there’s the matter of exposure. Clearly all participating parties need to keep their involvement a secret from authorities and the general public for the foreseeable future, and I’m just going to assume your friend plans to keep her identity hidden in some manner whenever she’s gallivanting all over town. It’d undoubtedly be bad if any one of us were discovered to be involved, but since we’re focusing on my risks in particular right now, let’s say it gets out that I’m, in essence, supplying and bankrolling a violent, crimefighting vigilante with no recognized legal standing. The way I figure, I’d probably lose my position as CEO in my family’s own company, face prison time for deploying experimental military systems in an Equestrian town or city via what’d be considered a rogue, lawless third party, and get buried in a metric shit ton of lawsuits from Celestia-only-knows how many ponies.
“Basically, I’m bucked if that happens, and that’s just the legal and professional ramifications. I haven’t even gotten into the personal hazards I could run into. So, let’s get into those, while we’re at it! I think it goes without saying that my entire social standing is in the shitter if I were to get found out, but I wouldn’t really give two bits about that. Pretty sure most of my truest friends would stand by me even if that were to happen. Of greater concern to me is my family’s safety, in respect to both our skirting the law but also the dangerous characters we’ll presumably be dealing with.”
“Blue, let me be the first to assure you that I’d never let any harm come to your family on account of these activities. If worst comes to worst and it were ever apparent that they were being targeted for any reason, I would personally see to ensuring their safety. You have my word, and my word is my bond,” Luna vowed in a solemn oath.
“I don’t doubt it. In fact, that’s actually why it’s not my biggest concern,” Blue affirmed.
Luna furrowed her brows in confusion.
“What could possibly be of greater concern than that?”
“Simple: my wife, that’s what,” Blue declared matter-of-factly.
“Come now, be serious.”
“Oh, I am,” he assured her. “Truth be told, Azalea’s easily the biggest wild card for me if I am indeed to enlist in this cause. She’s as smart as I am, if not smarter, and twice as shrewd, and I love her for it, but it complicates things. If I try to hide this from her, she’ll most assuredly suspect I’m up to something. It’s not a question of if, but when, she does, and when she does, she could believe I’m up to anything. I’d rather she not think I’m out binge drinking behind her back again or, even worse, cheating on her, but there’s really only one surefire way to guarantee that doesn’t happen: fill her in on it from the get-go.”
Taken aback, Luna internally prayed that this was but another one of Blue’s ill-timed jests. She thought better of asking, however, when she realized, from the look of Blue’s demeanor, that he was being perfectly serious.
With that in mind, all she offered in response was a simple, “Oh dear.”
“Oh dear, indeed,” Blue agreed. “Now, that said, while this is definitely the most difficult personal complication I’d face if I do get involved, it’s not quite as bad as it sounds. There’s nopony I unquestioningly trust as much as Azalea, and I like to think she feels mostly the same way about me after being together as long as we have. Sure, we’ve had our ups and downs, but we’ve gone through them all together and come out stronger as a couple for it. That and she keeps having and raising kids with me, so that’s got to count for something!”
Despite herself, Luna was unable to refrain from allowing herself a soft chuckle at that. She couldn’t even keep straight if the Moons had seven or eight children at this point, although thankfully for Azalea at least one of them had been adopted.
“My point is, after all this time, she gets my brand of crazy, so really it’d probably be easier telling her all about what we’d be up to than simply hoping she wouldn’t find out. Because trust me, she would find out, one way or another, and when that happens I’m as bucked as I could be. So, all in all, I guess getting her on board with this is a precondition of mine, and a tough one at that, but hardly an impossibility. Is that going to be an issue for you?”
Now it was Luna’s turn to weigh her options. Everything Blue had said so far strongly suggested that he was willing to lend his support in spite of the apparent risks and hurdles, which wasn’t exactly surprising but, nonetheless, reassuring to hear. That said, she was hesitant to bring in any more ponies than they truly needed, even one such as Azalea Moon.
Suddenly, a thought struck her.
“Before I give you my answer, I have a question of my own.”
Blue nodded in recognition.
“Shoot.”
“The nature of a Dark Knight’s work means that regular medical attention is an all but assured necessity. Your wife is a renowned surgeon. Do you believe she’d be willing to lend her talents and skill in respect to this cause if asked?”
Once again Blue had his answer in almost no time at all, needing but a few seconds to mull the question over.
“If you give me the go ahead to let her in on this, I can certainly ask it of her. She may very well say no, but even if she did, she’d more than likely know some other colleague willing to help in her stead. So, it’s worth a shot if nothing else.”
“Fair enough,” Luna conceded. “In that case, I have no objections with you discussing this with Azalea, whether or not she chooses to get involved or even approve of you doing the same. No matter what happens, she must be sworn to secrecy of course, but I know her well enough to know that’s not something I need fret over. Now then, with that settled and after pretty thoroughly assessing the risks you’d face, I must know… what is your answer? If you need more time to think it over, I completely understand; knowing you, though, I suspect that is not the case.”
It seemed in this instance, however, that Blue did indeed need some time to collect his thoughts; leaning back in his seat, he closed his eyes and settled into a deep state of contemplation.
Well, glad to see he’s taking this seriously at least.
Glancing out the Hay Burger’s windows, Luna internally noted that the sun was just beginning its slow descent; the reddish-glow of the coming sunset was slowly but steadily starting to spread across the sky.
Not much sleep today with all these ancillary activities; going to be a long shift tonight. Ah well, wouldn’t be the first time, certainly won’t be the last. I wonder how prepared Miss Hooves is for these kinds of hours? I still find them difficult at times and I’m an immortal alicorn who’s been doing this for centuries; I can’t imagine how hard transitioning to these kinds of hours would be for a mortal still working during the day.
I do hope she’s readying herself for such a labor. It may seem like a simple thing, but during their heyday, most Dark Knights preferred getting their shuteye during the daytime as much as they could. Even today, most of my nighttime servants do the same. Some are even ordered to do so by their superiors depending on their position. But Miss Hooves does not have this luxury by virtue of the nature of her work; she’ll need to be very diligent about getting the rest her body needs.
Well, that and coffee. Lots and lots of coffee.
Turning away from her sister’s ongoing hoofwork, Luna was met by Blue, sitting upright once more and staring back at her with a flatly neutral expression. It appeared he’d come up with an answer.
“Well, what say you?”
He stayed silent as the grave, just for a moment longer. Then, as though unable to contain himself, his indifferent countenance gave way to a positively impish grin.
“No doubt there’s a whole lot of shit that could go sideways with something like this. Whole thing could blow up in the faces of anyone even remotely involved if things go wrong. That all being said… ah, what the hay, this all just sounds far too fun. I’m in.”
“You’re sure? You’re absolutely positive? I don’t need to remind you just how much you’d be risking by throwing your lot in with us. There’s no shame in deciding it’s simply too big of a gamble for you to take.”
Though her words may have sounded exceedingly cautious or given the impression that she was trying to dissuade him, Luna had to be certain of Blue’s commitment. His playful disposition was all well and good for dinner parties or nights on the town, but for business such as this, a far more serious level of personal investment was needed. He had to prove that his heart would not waver at the first sign of trouble.
“Oh, but of course, princess. It’d be a real shame to miss out on a job like this, especially when there’s a chance to make a real difference and have a hell of a good time while doing so. I crave opportunities like the one you’ve presented to me.”
“Blue, please, a little less facetiousness if you will,” Luna entreated. Her words, much to her surprise, must’ve struck a nerve, as something wholly unexpected suddenly came over Blue. It was subtle, but his whole body seemed to tighten where he sat and just for an instant, a wild, dangerous glint flashed in his eyes. And yet, he still held that same sly, devil-may-care grin upon his face.
“You misunderstand, my friend,” Blue coolly explained. “After everything I told you, how desperate I am to help protect Equestria from those who would do her or her citizens harm, how can you possibly think I’m being facetious in the slightest? If I seem more jovial than I should, I’m afraid that’s on you, if I’m being perfectly honest.”
“I beg your pardon?” she fired back with more than a touch of indignation. Blue laughed at her ire, but waved his hooves in a placating gesture.
“Now calm down, I didn’t say that was a bad thing. But look at it from my perspective; from where I’m standing, you’ve offered me a gift, and I, like a colt opening his presents on Hearth’s Warming Eve, am simply giddy with excitement. How could I not be? We’re talking about an enterprise with no red tape, no meddlesome bureaucracy to scratch and claw our way through, no Fervent or anyone else keeping us from doing some actual good for the inanest of reasons.
“Sure, it won’t be easy, not by any means; that level of freedom alone brings with it its own set of difficulties. But whatever challenges there may be, I’ll happily embrace them if surmounting them means accomplishing a world of good in the long run. Besides, it’ll be a nice way to blow off some steam while I’m still doing the painstaking chore that is working with official channels.”
“So… that’s it then. You’re really in?”
Even accounting for the fact that Blue was clearly an outlandish individual, this seemed far more straightforward than it should be. Then again, perhaps that was just his way of handling circumstances such as these. What was astonishing to one pony might seem perfectly normal to another after doing it long enough; in Luna’s case, raising and lowering the moon each night and safeguarding ponies’ dreams – unimaginable feats for almost every creature in the world – was as elementary a task for her as brushing her mane. Maybe Blue had simply spent so much of his life being an eccentric that oddball behavior didn’t even strike him as strange in the slightest at this point.
As if he were trying to drive that point home, Blue gave an earnest nod in answer to his friend’s pressing question.
“Yeah, should be fun. I just need to meet your friend first so I can decide for myself whether or not she’s up to the task before I can fully commit and turn her into a walking arsenal, but I wouldn’t worry about that if I were you. Based on what you’ve told me about her, and the fact that she’s already won your trust, I’d wager she’s got a better than decent shot at winning me over as well.”
Luna exhaled, allowing herself a small sense of satisfaction. It’d been a tad bit more complicated than she’d hoped, but she’d achieved what she’d set out to in the first place and secured an invaluable ally for Derpy.
No, not just Derpy. It suddenly occurred to the princess how very hard she’d fought for this. She hadn’t even been enlisted in this cause for a day and already she’d gone out on quite the limb for it. That realization was rather jarring and led her to a sobering conclusion.
Face it… you missed this. You wanted this, nay, you craved it.
It’s not like I was dragged kicking and screaming into this; on the contrary, I’ve leaped in headfirst. And why shouldn’t I? If this is what it takes to once more learn how to share the burden of watching over Equestria with my subjects, nay, my fellow ponies, then I gladly accept the hand that has been dealt to me. If ponies like Derpy and Blue are willing to risk so much for this vision, how could I possibly not? What have I got to lose that they don’t?
Her spirit filled with new resolve, Luna turned her attention back to her nascent cohort.
“Well now, I suppose our first order of business should be introducing you two to one another. I can arrange a meeting if you’d like.”
Blue shook his head.
“Don’t worry about it, I’ll organize all of that myself. I’ve got a particular place in mind for us to meet and some things I’d like her to do when it happens. Oh, before I forget, there’s a good chance Azalea may be there as well. Any objections?”
“None from me. By all means, feel free to invite her; her presence would be most welcome,” Luna assured him.
“Splendid. Now then, we should probably wrap things up; judging by the setting sun it looks like it’ll be time for your nightly duties fairly soon.”
“Indeed, it will. Thank you again for hearing me out. I hope our conversation here today, in this… er, delightful dining establishment is but the start of a truly meaningful partnership, and that in the long run our labors, whatever they may be, will provide invaluable aid to as many creatures as possible.”
Luna dispelled her privacy spell, and after getting up from his seat, Blue gave a modest but cordial bow to his royal confidante before they started making their way toward the Hay Burger’s exit. The place was still pretty crowded even after the dinner rush, but most ponies gave the two a wide enough berth that making their way through the crowd was relatively easy, even as they remained engaged in their discourse.
“The feeling’s mutual, Your Majesty. And hey, that wasn’t all we accomplished; in fact, if I’m being honest, I’m quite proud of our other achievement here today.”
Luna raised a skeptical eyebrow.
“Now Blue, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. We’ve got a long way to go before the Royal Guard will be using any of your new systems.”
“Oh, I know that. That’s not even what I was referring to,” he explained.
“Then what are you referring to?” the confused princess asked.
“Why, the fact that I got you to eat a shitload of Hay Burger’s finest cuisine, of course!” Blue exclaimed, bursting into laughter.
“Oh, you are simply the worst sometimes, do you know that?” Luna shot back.
“Azalea makes sure I never forget,” he blithely remarked. “Tell me, was your first taste of fast food enjoyable at least?”
“It was… interesting,” Luna admitted. “I’ll grant that, while it’s certainly nothing to write home about, none of the food here completely destroyed my palate, for what that’s worth. I suppose it does have a certain appeal, in its own coarse, fatty, greasy way. That being said, I am not looking forward to finding out how much it’s going to wrack my poor digestive system.”
“Ah, but it wouldn’t be a true fast food experience without at least one bad spell in the bathroom, my dear.”
She blanched at the thought, and the gurgling noises emanating from her stomach only seemed to affirm the growing feeling that she’d be regretting this particular dining experience at some point later that evening.
If only I’d been blessed with Celestia’s cast iron stomach. The things I’ve seen that mare devour at times… it’s a wonder more of it hasn’t gone to her flank by now. There’s just something downright unnatural about her metabolism, even for an alicorn. Mayhaps all the extra calories go to her mane and help make it more lustrous.
On second thought… never mind, that doesn’t make any sense. It’s more likely some sorcery she discovered or unlocked at some point in time and simply failed to share with me. Probably on purpose. Stupid sister and her flawless metabolism and perfect flank.
As they stepped out onto the steadily emptying streets of Canterlot, Luna couldn’t help but notice that her earlier tension had long since dissipated. Blue seemed far more at ease now as well compared to how worked up he’d been when discussing all the hurdles his work had been facing. It was most puzzling that hatching a plan to provide backing and material support to extralegal vigilante activities would grant them such a peace of mind; maybe it was simply indicative that their instincts regarding this undertaking’s goodness were spot on, or at least its potential for doing some good. Even knowing it’d take a lot of tireless work and a tremendous amount of integrity from all involved to make this work, she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t excited about her gradually unfolding part to play in all of this.
I don’t know if the Dark Knights truly deserve a second chance, but if they do, I can’t think of a better way to give them one. Even if they don’t, at the very least Miss Hooves herself deserves this chance to look after her home and help make it a better place; I’m glad to be a part of any pony’s efforts to do the same, within reason. Right now, that’s all any of us in this endeavor are; Miss Hooves, Blue, myself, we may all be immensely different in who we are, but we’re all united in this cause by a shared desire to make Equestria a better place in whatever ways we can. So long as we look after our own hearts and don’t stray from a noble, principled path, we should be perfectly capable of doing just that.
As things stand, the board is not yet set, but pieces are moving and coming together rather quickly. At this rate, we’ll know soon enough whether or not we’re up to the challenges that lie ahead of us. And there will be some daunting challenges. Of that, I have no doubt.
Blue and Luna came to an intersection just as the sun began to dip below the horizon, at which point Luna decided it was probably as good a time as any to take her leave. Hopefully if she left now, she’d still be able to catch Celestia before she retired for the evening. She enjoyed their brief meetings between their respective shifts, short though they may be; while they occasionally discussed matters of state, typically they just used the fleeting minutes to check in with one another on a more personal level. Moments where the princesses just got to be sisters with one another were far too rare as it was; as such, they always – or at least as often as they could – made a point to hold dear those they did have.
“Well my friend, if there’s nothing else, I shall take my leave. The night awaits, and the moon’s not going to raise itself, after all. I shall convey your decision to our associate, and await hearing back from you once you’ve decided upon a time and place for us all to next meet. Is that agreeable to you?”
Blue nodded, but right as he was about to bid her farewell, a final thought struck him.
“Just one last thing before we depart,” he added.
“Yes?”
Leaning in closer to her so as not to be overheard by any passersby, he asked in a hushed tone, “What might our new friend’s name be, if you don’t mind my asking?”
Luna hesitated for just a moment, but after a short reflection decided it was altogether safe to entrust that information with Blue at this point. Even if he were to back out of their venture later, she was sure it wouldn’t be an issue; the Moons were an honorable sort, and if anypony could be trusted to keep a secret like that, it was Blue.
With a serene smile, she simply answered, “Her name is Derpy Hooves.”
