> The Pinkamena Diaries
>  by FlutterDash777
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> My Book of Theories
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

-My Book of Theories

Darkness is all I can see. I feel nothing but coldness down my spine, and every once, and a while I will have a sudden jolt inside my chest. I'm not sure why I always seem to feel that strange feeling inside me. I've tried to understand it for such a long time, but I could never really comprehend what brings it upon me. What a strange feeling it is.

If before I said I could only see darkness, then I was of course exaggerating. It is night time, and deep within the soul of this pony I lie; looking up for light, but I am stopped by those closed pink eyelids. This is routine of course, so I am by now used to it. But I can't help but want the pony to awaken. I don't sleep much, and being stuck inside a dark room per se isn't my idea of a good time. It's not that I actually know what a good time feels like though. My guess of a good time is being able to see around me. And at the moment that is something that can't be accomplished.

Yet, all I can do is wait for this pony to arise. At least I don't feel alone. I can hear her breathing, so I know she is there. But I still can't feel her. But would it be wrong of me to want to touch her....if she is me?

Pinkie Pie could feel a warming beam glare upon her forearms. She turned over onto her side trying to avoid the light from piercing her eyelids. Stretching one arm over her face, and using her other arm to pull up her blanket, Pinkie was not ready to wake up. She had a rough sleep, and at the moment she wanted to make up for all that lost time. 

However, her nose was cringed by the smell of freshly baked goods, and her ears were singed by the cries of Pound Cake, and Pumpkin Cake. 

The pink pony softly grumbled, and buried her muzzle into her bed pillow. But no matter how hard she tried, she could not find her way to go back to sleep. With tired eyes opening, and weak forearms reaching forward, Pinkie finally found herself getting out of her lazy position. 

Pinkie's eyes slowly made their way over to the mirror mounted on her wall. Her mane was flattened on one side, and poofed out on the other. She slightly began to smile at the ridiculous reflection, and then shook her head wildly causing her mane to fluff out. 

Cute, pink curls bounced about as Pinkie could smell a sweet cotton candy like scent coming from her lively mane. Pinkie's eyes finally adjusted to the morning light, and she could feel her usual smile sitting upon her muzzle. 

The rest of the morning, Pinkie cleaned up, and ate some breakfast before leaving Sugar Cube Corner. She hadn't forgotten the picnic plans she had made with the rest of her pals. It was midday before Pinkie walked out of the door of the sweet shop, and began her short trek to the meadow that her, and her friends always had picnics at.

She hopped about with a large grin plastered upon her face. Pinkie could see that Ponyville was already up, and running, and ponies were out doing their usual things. Shopping, playing, working. Nothing out of the norm it seemed, and Pinkie greeted everypony that came along her path. 

Her journey didn't last too long, and Pinkie could already see the meadow. In the distance the pink earth pony could see that only two ponies were out there. The blanket was spread upon the ground, and a few baskets were set out. Pinkie could make out Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash sitting on the picnic blanket. It seemed as if they were talking, and laughing. Pinkie's eyes lit up at the sight of two of her friends having fun. Her wide smile became wider as she continued to walk over to her two pegasi friends.

"Hey there Dashie! Flutters!" Pinkie waved one forearm rapidly in the air as she made her way over to her friends.

"What's up Pinkie?" Rainbow Dash warmly smiled, and then made room for Pinkie to join them.

"How are you?" Fluttershy greeted with her timid grin. Angel hopped out from behind one of the baskets, and jumped into Fluttershy's lap. He rubbed his head against her hoof gesturing her to pet him. 

Rainbow Dash stared at Angel with mischievous pink eyes. She slightly grinned at the little bunny who glared back at her angrily.

"Why do you have to be such a pain to Fluttershy, Angel?" Rainbow Dash hissed, and then mockingly giggled.

Angel Bunny stuck out his tongue, and picked up a small pebble that was on the ground. He lunged it straight for the cyan pegasi's head. 

"Hey!!" Rainbow growled.

"Now, now. Let's not throw things, Angel Bunny." Fluttershy soothingly, yet sternly said. 

Pinkie giggled at the feud against Rainbow, and Fluttershy's pet. Angel got up from his pony cushion, and stormed off into the meadow to get away from the enemy. Rainbow Dash crackled at the frustrated rabbit, but soon did she stop by Fluttershy's concerned glare. 

"Oh Rainbow, why did you have to tease him." The yellow pegasus whimpered. Her large turquoise eyes quivered at her rainbow maned companion. 

Dash softly rubbed the back of her head trying to avoid Fluttershy's sad eyes. She quickly turned to Pinkie for a change in subject.

"So, Pinkie do you have any clue where the others are?" Dash pretended to be interested in Pinkie's reply, but secretly looked to make sure Fluttershy was alright. When she saw that Flutters seemed to be interested in the question, Dash sighed with relief, and then turned back to Pinkie.

"I have no idea. I thought you guys would know." Pinkie scratched her fluffy mane in thought. 

Pinkie watched as Dashie, and Flutters discussed the matter. But something wasn't right. Pinkie could see them talking, with worried looks, but for some reason she couldn't hear what they were saying. Lips were moving, but no words seemed to make their way into Pinkie's alert ears. 

The earth pony rubbed her hooves into them, but she still couldn't hear anything. What was going on?

A sudden jolt surged inside Pinkie's chest. Her eyes dilated as the strange feeling continued to shoot through her body. 

'What is this?' Pinkie thought to herself. But even her thoughts could not be made clear to her. Even her own thoughts could not be heard. Pinkie could feel something inside of her. Before she could even try to understand what it was, Pinkie blacked out completely. 

Finally! I can see much better now. Now...who are these ponies again? Oh yes. That must be Fluttershy. Oh, and that's...Dashie? Yes, Rainbow Dash! I'm getting better at this! Now where are those other friends of hers? They must be late, or something. I would like to see them so I could write more about them. So I could learn more about them, but I guess learning about these two will work too.

I, Pinkamena have waited all night, and morning to get to this picnic. Yesterday, Pinkie Pie didn't go anywhere. She was busy at the shop, and I didn't get to see any of her close friends. So I couldn't study them, but today I will be able to learn more about these two pegasi.

I looked closely at the two friends of my dear Pinkie's. They were rambling about their other friends. I guess they were wondering the same thing. I studied the two contently. I could see a blue hoof laying atop a yellow hoof. I mentally wrote that down. They were obviously a couple. Did anypony else realize that? 

As I continued to watch them I could see their eyes slowly moving towards my direction. They looked slightly confused at the sight of me, and I tried to make out a smile, but I already knew that my smiles were more creepy than anything. 

"What's up with your mane, Pinkie?" Dashie looked at me with a dumbfounded expression upon her face. 

I slowly moved my hooves to my head, and stroked my soft long mane. It felt normal. Straight, as always. Wait, doesn't Pinkie usually have a curly mane? Damn. I forgot that my mane is different from Pinkie Pie's. I looked back at Pinkie's friends, and grinned in my best possible way.

"Oh it must be the humid air. Always makes my mane flat..." I tried to laugh it off, but Pinkie's pegasi friends didn't seemed too convinced. 

"Since when?" The blue pegasus arched an eyebrow at me. Out of all of Pinkie's friends, she was my least favorite...

"Since always..." I looked down for some way to get Dash's mind off of it. I reached out for a basket, and opened it to reveal it's edible contents. 

"How about we eat? It doesn't look like the others are going to show." I looked at Fluttershy, hoping she would agree. To my relief she reached into the basket, and pulled out a few treats.

"We might as well." Fluttershy pushed a piece of pie in front of her marefriends face. Dashie looked at the desert unwillingly, but she accepted it anyways; however, she continued to give me more questioning glances. 

That night I couldn't sleep. Though I didn't usually sleep, but I could hear Pinkie softly breathing as she normally did in the middle of the night. 

I was rather excited about the things that I happened to pick up from Pinkie Pie's two friends. In the dark room of the pink ponies mind I picked up my only companion. My book of theories. Rather, facts about Pinkie Pie, and the ponies around her. I opened it up, and strolled through the pages until I came upon a blank page. 

I titled it Fluttershy and Dashie. I scribbled a few things down. Mostly about their reactions towards each other, the way that Fluttershy would speak, the responses Dashie would give to her, the things that they talked about, and how much I really didn't like Rainbow Dash. 

As much as I thought I learned it didn't really seem that I learned that much once I wrote it all down. It only filled up almost a page, and usually I would be able to write two, or three pages minimum. I guess it was because there were only two friends to study, and not the usual five. 

I bit down on the pencil between my teeth, and scrunched my eyebrows together. I could still hear the small, comforting sounds coming from Pinkie Pie. I felt a small smile come upon my face as I could almost feel a warm feeling inside of me. I never had been able to feel actual contact with Pinkie Pie before. That was due to either me being locked inside of her mind, or her being locked inside of mine. Why was that? Would I ever be able to look at her directly? Would she ever know that I even exist?

Was it meant to be for us to be apart forever?

I slowly looked down to my book. I turned the page over to the next blank sheet. I began to write down something with the pencil between my teeth. 

I titled this page My Pinkie Theory. As I began to let words pour out onto the blank pages I could feel a small wet object in the corner of my eye. A small water drop fell upon my paper. What was this coming from my eyes? I had never experienced such behavior before. I wiped my eye with one pink hoof, and then focused back upon my writing.

Once I was finished, I dropped my pencil into the darkness, and read what I had written down.

How can one tell if they're real? Who's to say that we're not all part of something else's imagination? Do you believe someponies real by the warmth of their skin? Or the feeling of their breaths down your neck? How can one tell? But that is only one of my many theories.

The real question in mind is, how can one be able to figure if their own self is alive? Could I be alive? Or am I just an imaginative being within Pinkie Pie's mind? Or maybe it's her that isn't the real one, and I am just insane? 

But what if my problem is much more greater than questioning my own reality? What if it is much more difficult to discuss, or harder to deal with? If that were the case then I wouldn't know where to begin, or what to do to help myself. Unfortunately that is the case. 

My true problem isn't knowing whether, or not I am real. My true problem is that I have fallen in love with Pinkie Pie. Now one might say that it is natural for one to fall in love with another pony. But in my case that doesn't apply at all. How does one love another if that other is themselves?


> My Theories About Love
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

-My Theories About Love

Ever since I conjured up my new theory last night, I couldn't wait for morning time. I wasn't going to give up on figuring out what I was going to do no matter how difficult it may be. 

My mind was racing all night long trying to figure a way that I could learn more about Pinkie Pie herself. How was I suppose to study somepony that I couldn't be in contact with?

It was a question that took me all night to answer, but eventually I came up with a solution. 

As the sun rose up, and I could hear Pinkie rustling in her bed I decided to squeeze my way through her mind again, and not let her awaken. At least not today. I needed a full day of study, and the only way I could do that is if Pinkie stayed locked safely away in my mind. 

As I felt myself taking over her body I tried to sit myself up. I had never directly seen Pinkie's room before, and it was a sight to take in. I could smell a sweet smell coming from another room downstairs, and I felt a soft, cushion under me. I stroked Pinkie's warm bed, and slightly buried my face into her covers. It was the first time I had ever smelled Pinkie Pie before. At least her scent was still attached to her bed sheets.

I pulled my head up, and set my hooves on the ground. I was a little wobbly at first due to the early morning, but I regained my balance, and made my way over to a frame upon Pinkie's wall.

I could see myself inside the strange dimensional glass, and I was stunned at first by the unusual item. I tapped on it's cover with the tip of my hoof, and then quickly jerked it away. I wasn't quite sure what would happen if I touched it, but I soon learned that it wasn't anything to be afraid of.

Strange or not I decided to use this glass to my advantage. 

I looked at my mane. It fell flat atop my face, and was stringy from top to bottom. I stroked through a few strands, catching a few knots on the way. What was I going to do with my mane? I couldn't let Pinkie's friends see it like this. Especially Rainbow Dash...

I tilted my head to the side, and watched as my long pink mane swayed to the side. I took my front hooves, and began to rapidly scratch through my mane. I could feel it tangling up, but it seemed to be working. My flat mane began to fluff out, and as I continued to shake my head, and mess up my mane, it eventually poofed up, and began to curl in all directions.

I couldn't believe it. I looked almost exactly like Pinkie Pie. I was almost convinced that I was Pinkie Pie for a moment, but quickly snapped myself out of it. If I continued to look into this glass I might just fall for myself. 

I moved my face away from the frame, and started my way out of Pinkie's bedroom door. I could still smell the sweet scent of Pinkie in my nostrils. 

I walked down the stairs, and came upon another room. This room was full of tables, and chairs. There were ponies lined up from the entrance all the way to a counter at the front of the store. I could smell more sweet smells coming from this room. It must be where all the food was at.

I cautiously watched as a yellow stallion was taking strange coins from the ponies, and in return giving them edible items. I wasn't sure exactly how that worked, but I tried to remember it. I may be able to use that information in my book of theories. 

"Hello Pinkie darling! Fancy to see you." 

I turned my head quickly to the sound of the voice that was calling out Pinkie Pie's name. A small distance away I saw a white unicorn. Her mane was perfectly curled, and she had a sort of glow about her. I remembered this pony to be another one of Pinkie's friends. I had wrote quite a few pages about her alone at one point. She was quite interesting. Much different from the other friends. But what was her name again?

"H-hey." I lifted my hoof slightly in her direction. My mind continued to race in search for her name. It just left me all of a sudden!

"How are you Pinkie? I'm so terribly sorry I couldn't make it to the picnic yesterday. Me, and Applejack were...um...busy..." The white unicorn walked closer in my direction. Her face kind of blushed a bit, but she soon turned back to her normal, pale fur color. 

"That's alright. Fluttershy, and Dashie was there....so I got to study--erm....enjoy the picnic with them." I almost choked myself trying to correct my ignorance. I almost gave myself away!

"Yes...so, I came by to see you actually. There is this dress I was making, and I thought it would be best if it fit a figure like yours. I was wondering if you could help me model for it back at my boutique. I could really use the help. Your figure would fit it sooo perfectly!" The ponies blue eyes dazzled as she fluttered them rapidly at me. She was indeed a beauty, and I couldn't pass down an opportunity quite like this. I could use the extra information on this pony. She might have some details about Pinkie Pie. But how was I suppose to ask her about...myself?

I had followed the lovely friend of Pinkie's all the way to her dress store. I myself had never seen actual clothes before, let alone wear any; I found it quite interesting being able to try some on! However, I was not here to have fun dressing up! I was here for Pinkie!

"So if you would step over here, and I will be right back with the dress!" The white unicorn disappeared into another room as I stood in the directed spot. 

I looked around the store, and my eyes were bedazzled by the beautiful colors of the many dresses that surrounded me. What lovely....Wait! No. I have to focus!

"Rarity?!!" 

A sudden bang slammed against the door, and my eyes quickly jolted in the direction. Rarity! That's right! That's her name! Rarity! I tried to smile as I remembered the unicorns name, but then another pony came crashing through the door.

"Rarity! Where in tarnation are ya'?" An orange earth pony barged on in, and with a drop of sweat on her brow stomped forward without even noticing me.

"What on earth are you doing, Applejack?" Rarity reappeared into the room with a lovely gown in her hooves. Her face was puzzled by the sight of yet another one of Pinkie's close friends.

I also remembered writing about Applejack. I had learned a lot about Rarity, and Applejack's relationship together a few weeks ago. On the outside they seem to be enemies, but I saw their soft side. I could really sense a romantic connection from them. But...who am I kidding? What would I know about romance?

"I thought y'all were gonna' come help me at the farm this mornin'! And because y'all never showed up I had to fix all them there branches by muself!" Applejack looked frustrated, but I could tell she was more saddened than anything. I jolted that down in my memory.

"Oh my goodness! I completely forgot! I was working on a dress, and I had to ask Pinkie for modeling help, and....oh dear I am so sorry, Applejack!" Rarity held one hoof over her mouth as if she were feeling uneasy, but she soon set it down. I could feel a real sincere apology coming from Rarity.

Applejack's expression changed quickly, and she trotted over to the distressed Rarity. She held up her head with her orange hoof, and smiled back at the unicorn.

"No, Ah'm sorry. It's alright. Ah' understand." Applejack said with a small wink. 

These two are just as obvious as Flutters, and Dashie. How does nopony else realize this? I wonder if Pinkie Pie knows....

I saw their eyes slowly turning to me as they reconnected with reality, and remembered I was still there. I could see their faces brightening up as they realized that they had shown their affection towards each other in front of me. But little did they know that I was perfectly okay with it! Gave me more to study of course!

"So, Rarity....Do you want me to try on that dress now?" I tried to get Rarity back into her normality, and I secretly wanted to wear the dress. 

"Oh of course!" Rarity shoved the dress into my muzzle, and then rushed me behind a mobile wall sort of thing. I poked at the screen, but I was then quickly forced into the clothing.

It was quite uncomfortable at first since I had never worn anything but the fur on my back before. But nevertheless, I couldn't help but smile at another reflection glass in front of me. I look so cute....No wait! I got to focus on questions....

"This looks absolutely marvelous!" Rarity gawked at her creation.

"Does look mighty good on ya' Pinkie." Applejack tried to join in, but she obviously wasn't the least bit interested. 

Rarity stood me up on a pedestal, and began to check Pinkie's measurements. She lifted my forelegs up, and went around my waist, and everywhere else. I decided that this was a good time to ask any questions.

"So you guys...what do you think of Pinki--um....me?" I nonchalantly kicked the floor slightly, but Rarity slapped my hoof directing me to stay still.

"What do ya' mean, Pinkie?" Applejack looked at me with large green eyes. I noticed freckles scattered upon her cheeks. I had never noticed that before, but that wasn't the slightest bit important at the moment.

"Just...what do you think of me?" I didn't know any other way to put it without making it sound suspicious. 

"Well I think you're quite lively, darling. Very lively indeed." Rarity answered without looking up. She continued to measure me.

"And Ah' think yer a great friend. So does everypony else Ah' reckon!" Applejack grinned at me. I tried to smile back, but I knew I was failing.

"Why do ya' ask?" 

"Oh no reason...So do you guys think I have....a special love interest?" That came running out of my mouth without warning. I almost slammed my face against the floor. But no matter how odd that question was I tried to play it cool as if it were not much of a big deal at all.

"Love interest? Is this some sort of guessing game? I love guessing games!" Rarity almost squealed with delight. I was relieved that they didn't find that question too strange.

"Hmmm...let's see hur...." Applejack rubbed her chin with her hoof in thought.

"Is it a stallion?" Rarity asked. But then she quickly began to blush as she caught Applejack's eyes.

"Um...I mean....of course it's a stallion...Ahaha.." Rarity tried to laugh it off. I knew she was definitely into Applejack...

"Actually it's not." I looked up trying to avoid their eyes as I confessed my love for a mare. I slightly smirked as I noticed Rarity's relief. 

"Well Ah'll be. Ah' would have never guessed that!" Applejack softly giggled, and then continued to think of who it might be.

"Don't tell me it's one of the other three!" Rarity gasped, but she edged closer to hear more spicy details. I could tell she was into gossip.

"It might be, but it's a guessing game, remember? I can't tell you." I winked at the two mares in front of me.

"Ah' bet I know who it is!" Applejack threw one hoof in the air. Rarity's eyes lit up with excitement.

"Who??" Rarity pleaded. She practically drooled for the answer. 

I watched Applejack closely as she gave her answer. I was ready to know who Pinkie Pie liked. Maybe she really did know I existed! Maybe she liked me! Maybe she told her friends about me! Maybe she dreams about being with me the way I dream about being with her! Anticipation was killing me as I awaited Applejack's reply.

"It's Rainbow Dash, isn't it?" Applejack smiled widely. 

Rainbow Dash?!! What?!

"Oh of course! I could always tell by the way you love to hang around her! She hangs around you more then she does Fluttershy, and she grew up with her! It makes so much since now!" Rarity giggled with glee. I could hear Applejack chuckle a little bit too. 

What's going on?! Pinkie Pie hangs out with Rainbow Dash? I...I never saw that! I never hear her talk about her either! How does she like Rainbow Dash? I thought Rainbow Dash liked Fluttershy!! How could my theory be so wrong?!

"Well I sure hope things work out for you two. I think you would make a great couple!" Rarity smiled at me, and Applejack did the same.

No no no!!! They would not make a good couple! How could this be happening? Pinkie Pie loves Rainbow Dash!?

My heart was picking up speed, and I felt a surging pain through my chest. I softly winced in pain, and I felt another wet drop in the corner of me eye. What was this? I let the water fall from my eye, and before I knew it more wet drops were pouring out of me.

I always knew Rainbow Dash was my least favorite....

> The FlutterDash Theory
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

-The FlutterDash Theory

I could feel a throbbing against my head. I could hear their voices calling out to me, but I couldn't answer them. Pinkie. Pinkie. Pinkie. That's all I could hear echoing through my ears, and pounding against my chest. I felt that same strange feeling in my chest, and before I could do anything the world around me began to blacken away.

"Uh....What....What happened?" Pinkie Pie raised her head slowly. While rubbing her eyes she managed to sit up. She could feel a soft bed under her hindquarters, and once she regained her vision she looked around her.

Twilight, Rarity, and Applejack were all standing before her. Their wide eyes stared at her in concern, and she blankly blinked back at them.

'How did I get here?' Pinkie thought to herself. Her eyebrows scrunched together as she tried to put together her situation. How did she end up at Twilight's library? Wasn't she just asleep in her bed at SugarCube Corner?

"How are you feeling, Pinkie?" Twilight raised her hoof towards Pinkie's head. She rested it against her pink forehead, and she seemed as if she were thinking.

"It feels like your fever is going down. But just in case I need you to rest here for a while before getting up." Twilight lowered her hoof from Pinkie, and signaled Rarity to get another wash cloth from her bathroom. At this Rarity trotted away.

"I had a fever?" Pinkie looked confused, and she put her own hooves to her head to feel for herself. Her head did feel quite warm, but considering what Twilight said, her fever had gone down.

"Ya' sure did, sugarcube. Y'all had us worried sick." Applejack crossed her front forelegs, and gave Pinkie a relieved look.

Pinkie looked back at the purple unicorn, and orange earth pony. She seemed to have a look of relief upon her face as well.

'Oh so I was sick, and my friends were all worried about me! But...why did they take me to Twilight's still?' Pinkie crinkled her muzzle in her confusion, but she tried to brush away the pesky thoughts.

Rarity soon returned to the room with a soft wet rag, and she slowly rested it upon Pinkie's forehead, and directed her to lay back down. Pinkie did as she was instructed, and she gave her friends a heartened smile. 

"I love you guys! You're the best for taking such good care of me!" Pinkie softly giggled, but then her eyes started to feel weary indicating that tiredness was drifting upon her body once again. 

"I think we should let Pinkie rest, and when she wakes up I'm sure she will be better!" Twilight looked to her other friends, and turned from Pinkie. The pink pony watched as her three friends left her side, and her eyelids began to slowly close. 

'I sure have been sleeping a lot lately....' Pinkie rustled a little, and then she drifted away into yet another slumber. 

I saw my chance, and I swiftly began to squeeze my way through. After observing that whole ordeal from inside Pinkie, I was able to learn some more about her. 

I felt somewhat happy inside. Pinkie had told her friends that she loved them. Did that mean that she loved all of her friends? As friends? Including Rainbow Dash?

My eyes began to open, and I felt a wet object over my head. I reached for it, and grabbed the cloth in my hooves. How peculiar. However, putting that to the side, I got up from the foreign bed I was laying upon, and made my way down the wooden ladder. I could slightly hear some ponies talking in another room, and without a sound I slowly walked for the exiting door. 

I tried to maneuver my way through all the books that were scattered everywhere. I looked frantically around me trying to make my way out of this room. I wasn't exactly sure where I was, but I was pretty sure it was one of Pinkie's friends home. I wasn't even exactly sure how I got here. I was at Rarity's store earlier, but then....what happened again?

'Rainbow Dash..... You two would make a great couple.....'

Those words suddenly rung through my mind, and I almost wanted to scream out at the sound of them. But nevertheless I ended up finding the door, and without hesitation I jolted out as quietly as possible.

I wasn't sure exactly where I was going to go, but I knew who I was going to go find.

Trying to remember my way around Ponyville from what I had seen from looking through Pinkie, I slowly began to learn where I was. I looked behind me at the house I had just left. It was a big tree it seemed, and I wasn't sure exactly who it belonged to, but considering the many books about I decided to call it the library.

I turned back to what was in front of me, and I could see numerous homes lined up side by side. Many ponies were out walking, and talking with one another. I tried to keep my profile low, and I didn't want any attention to be drawn to myself. I wouldn't know what to do if somepony I didn't recognized began to speak to me. How would I respond without looking suspicious? 

With this question in mind, I made it a full duty to keep attention away from me while I tried to find Rainbow Dash.

I continued to walk along the street, and tried to keep a smile upon my face. Everypony that I walked by would smile back at me, and every once in a while they would say Hello, but I kept on walking, and tried to not make any eye contact. 

In the distance I could see a building that I fully recognized. It was SugarCube Corner! Pinkie's home. It stood tall as always, and it's colors shined in the sunlight. I was glad to see a place that I knew, and if I remember correctly I could see the same path that Pinkie took to go to her picnic yesterday.

I strained my neck to make sure I was right, and even though I wasn't fully positive I had a good feeling that this was the right way to go. 

I began to walk again down the path towards what I was hoping was the meadow. Deep down I had a feeling that somewhere around there would be Rainbow Dash, or even Fluttershy. At the moment either of them would work, and I was ready to get my hooves down to business, and find out the true meaning behind Rarity, and Applejacks suggestions.

As my hooves began to feel tired, I could finally see the meadow. I knew that I was going in the right direction all along!

I kept on walking until I could completely see the meadow, but as I looked around swaying my head side to side I didn't catch any sight of either Fluttershy, or Rainbow Dash. Where could they be? 

I looked up to the skies to see if maybe they were flying around, but there was a lot of air in Equestria, and if they were flying I doubt I would be able to see them from here. I lowered my head in thought. What was I suppose to do now? Where was I suppose to look? How could I find them?

I kicked at the grass with a pink hoof, and I could feel the cold soil making it's way through. I couldn't believe that they weren't here. I was wasting precious time. Who knows when Pinkie would snap back into reality, sending me back inside? I didn't have anymore time to lose...but what was I going to do?

Before I could allow anymore questions to form within me, I heard a laugh coming from overhead. My eyes lit up at the sudden giggle, and my head jerked up frantically. I tried to follow the continuous laughter, and finally I came upon a small home hidden within some brush. 

I could see small creatures surrounding the cottage, and towering over them were two mares. My lips curled in excitement as I realized that I had found whom I was looking for.

"What are you doing Angel Bunny?" Fluttershy looked down to a small white creature, and softly stroked his tiny head. I watched the creature furiously wailing it's little arms all around, pointing at the other pony. 

"He just really doesn't like me. I don't see how he could not like my awesomeness!" Rainbow Dash hovered above the grass, and she had a smirk upon her muzzle. I almost wanted to snatch her face off, but I kept low, and continued to quietly observe. 

"Oh I wouldn't say he doesn't like you. He just....doesn't feel comfortable with you that's all." Fluttershy looked up at the hovering blue pegasus. She timidly smiled at Rainbow Dash, and then gave the white creature some vegetables. Satisfied, the creature scurried away, but first stuck out it's tongue at Dashie. I couldn't help but snicker.

"Hm? Did you hear that, Flutters?" Rainbow Dash looked up curiously. I quickly dove down under the bushes, avoiding them catching me, and to my relief they shook it off, and started talking about other things again.

At the moment I faded out their words, and began to memorize a few things in my mind. For the Fluttershy and Dashie part of my book. 

So far they seem to just be good friends. Maybe Rainbow Dash doesn't like Fluttershy. But then again Fluttershy really acts like she likes Rainbow Dash. Maybe it's one sided? I guess I will have to observe more before I can make any conclusions, but I surely hope that that damn pegasus doesn't have a thing for my Pinkie Pie...

I shook my thoughts away again, and slowly peeked my head over the brush. I could see the two ponies were now laying under a tree. A few flying creatures were resting upon it's branches, and furry land creatures were laying under the tree as well. Fluttershy was smiling, and talking to them while Dashie watched Fluttershy in what seemed like sheer amazement. 

Rainbow has amazement for Fluttershy perhaps? What sort of amazement.....

"Flutters you know you're really good at that..." Rainbow looked at the creamy yellow pegasus, and slightly grinned at her. Rainbow's multicolored mane fell on her eyes, and she quickly brushed them to the side, and now had a sort of sheepish smile upon her muzzle.

"What do you mean, Rainbow?" Fluttershy looked up into Rainbow's pink eyes. I could see that Fluttershy's cheeks looked quite red; flustered even. 

"The way you talk to them. The animals I mean....They seem to really love you." Rainbow Dash lifted a hoof behind her head, and seemed to be scratching at her mane. She was doing such an awful job though. I wasn't convinced by her act at all.

"Oh well I love them too!" Fluttershy smiled larger than I had ever seen her smile before. She always acted so timid, but for some reason it seemed as if she were acting more laid back now. She seemed comfortable now.

What's going on between them? I can't tell! Why do they have to be so vague with their feelings? I'm not sure if they are friends, or much more than that! What are they to each other?!

I was so frustrated with their small talk that I could almost rip my mane out, but considering this was Pinkie's body I was going to respect it. Pinkie's body is my temple, and I was going to take great care of it while I use it.

"Fluttershy..." 

I turned my head back to the two pegasi. Rainbow Dash was now closer to Fluttershy, and she was staring straight into her eyes. They were so close to each other I could almost see them heating up. What did Rainbow think she was doing? My heart raced as I contently looked upon the scene. 

"Yes?" Fluttershy looked quite frightened now. She didn't even blink for the slightest second, and I could almost make out the beating of her heart.....or was that mine? 

I bit my bottom lip softly as I was at the edge of the bush with anticipation. It was as if I were watching some sort of forbidden act, and for some odd reason I was drawn into it completely. For a moment I considered what I was doing to be weird. Watching two ponies from a slight distance as they shared moments together, but I let that consideration fade. I didn't care! I was about to get some essential information that I could use in my new theory. I couldn't let this pass me by no matter how creepy it was to watch them. They would never know anyways.

I watched as Rainbow edged in closer to the yellow pony. Her eyes glimmered, and I could faintly see her cheeks were now an awkward pink. 

"I...I love you." Rainbow Dash moved in, and touched her lips against Fluttershy. 

I wasn't sure if I needed to watch this, but I did anyways.

Fluttershy looked shocked at first, but I could see that she was slowly melting away into Rainbow Dash's lips. She began to close her eyes, and she reached her arms around her cyan companion. 

No matter how tempting, I turned away from their love scene. I didn't need to see anymore. I already got what I needed, and I was relieved deep within me that I was able to witness this.

Rarity, and Applejack know nothing. Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash may be good friends, but I see that Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash are much....much more.

With a smile upon my muzzle, I got up from my hiding position, and quietly fled from the cottage. Leaving the secret couple in each others warm embrace. 




	


> So I Made A New Theory
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

-So I Made A New Theory

Pinkie rustled softly as her sleepiness began to lift from her body. She could hear a few small noises coming from downstairs, and she could smell the usual sweet smell that was coming from the kitchen. Her eyes began to twitch, and her hooves stroked the mattress underneath her. 

It took her a while, but Pinkie eventually could tell that she was back in her own bed at SugarCube Corner. 

'Was that whole waking up sick in Twilight's house all just a dream?' Pinkie silently thought to herself. She relaxed her shoulders, and comfortingly slid farther under her bed sheets. She was relived that that was just a dream. She wasn't sick, and she didn't have that strange feeling anymore. That feeling that she was sleeping too much.

Pinkie sighed quietly, and snuggled against her pillows. She let a small smile form on her muzzle, but at the twitch of her ear she heard a sudden rustle in her room. Without hesitation Pinkie's eyes shot open, and she quickly sprung up in her bed to investigate. 

To her surprise Pinkie saw Twilight, Rarity, and Applejack circled around her bed. It was just like in her dream except this time it was in her room.

"Your awake! I'm so glad. You had us worried when you ran off like that. You should have known better to go outside with a fever." Twilight scolded Pinkie with concern.

Pinkie's eyes widened at the sight. What was Twilight talking about? Running off? With a fever? What?!

Pinkie wanted to ask her friends what they were going on about, but she had a feeling of uncertainty. It felt as if something were holding her back from asking.

"Where in tarnation did y'all go anyways, Pinkie?" Applejack slightly turned her head up, and blew her mane from her eyes. Rarity looked at Applejack, but then turned back to Pinkie. Her eyes were glowing with concern.

"We looked everywhere, and well the last place we checked was here. You were already asleep, so we waited here all night until you woke up." Rarity said, and then turned to Twilight.

"It seems that you still have a slight fever, but it's not quite as bad now. You should be able to get up in no time as long as you don't run off again." Twilight raised an eyebrow to emphasize her last sentence.

Pinkie looked up at her three friends in confusion, but she didn't say anything. She wasn't sure what to tell them. She hadn't run off anywhere, and she had no idea how she got a fever. She had been asleep here the whole time....right? How could she have left, and not known?

"Are you feeling alright, darling?" Rarity took a step forward. She lifted a hoof onto the side of Pinkie's bed. 

All Pinkie could think to do was nod.

"Do you want to tell us where you went?" Twilight took a step closer as well. Applejack did the same, and Pinkie felt as if they were closing in on her with a life or death question. 

Pinkie was silent.

"Rarity, and Applejack told me about how you passed out at the boutique. After confessing your love for a close friend." Twilight looked at the two mares next to her. Rarity blushed slightly, and Applejack adjusted her hat.

If it were any more possible, Pinkie's eyes widened even more. Her eyes darted to Rarity, and Applejack. They both tried to avoid eye contact with her, but they couldn't resist looking back at her. Pinkie looked so confused. She didn't know what to think. What was everypony talking about? Confessing her love for a friend? She was in love with one of her friends? Since when?

"We're mighty sorry, sugarcube. We weren't plannin' on tellin' nopony, but Twilight needed to know what happened to ya." Applejack looked sympathetically back into the pink ponies deep blue eyes. Applejack couldn't tell if she was sad, or angry at them.

"Who did I tell you I loved?" Pinkie blurted out. She couldn't hold it in any longer. She needed answers. What was going on? None of this was making any since, and Pinkie was finding something suspicious boiling up.

Twilight turned her eyes to Applejack, and she turned her eyes to Rarity. The white unicorn tried to look away, but she soon looked up at Pinkie, and answered her.

"Well, Applejack, and I guessed it was Rainbow Dash; however, you fainted moments after we mentioned it. We thought maybe it was shock that we knew about your love, but it didn't seem quite right..." Rarity shuffled under her hooves, and tried to readjust herself into a more comfortable position. Telling Pinkie this was uncomfortable enough.

"Rainbow Dash?" Pinkie looked taken aback. She drew her head upwards, and looked at her friends with an eccentric look upon her face.

They all looked back at her as if they were regretting had said anything. None of them had the courage to say anymore to Pinkie. They weren't sure what to say exactly. Pinkie was acting so strange lately...

"Are you guys crazy? Rainbow Dash likes Fluttershy." Pinkie softly scratched her head. Had no pony else realized it?

Her three friends looked back with surprise, and all of their mouths were left agape. 

I watched their conversation through Pinkie's eyes. It was too close. I was almost discovered. 

I pulled out my book of theories, and reached for a pencil. I flipped past a few pages, and found the page titled My Pinkie Theory and skipped a few lines. I added something else to my theory. It was a little different than the first part of my theory, but it was still important, and needed to be included.

If I want Pinkie Pie to love me, but I'm too afraid for her to find out about me...how will I ever get what I want? What if she finally realizes that I'm inside of her? What if she is afraid of me, or hates me because of the things I do? I'm afraid for something like that to happen. But I'm also afraid that she will never know of my existence.

How is somepony suppose to love somepony else if they have no idea that they even exist? How can somepony love somepony else that they can never see, or never make contact with? How can somepony love themselves in a sexual way? Is it natural? Does it happen in some cases? Or is it just me?

I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to sort this out. Why did I even start trying to figure this out? I don't remember the first time I realized that I was in love with Pinkie. Was it yesterday? The day before? A month ago? A year ago? Or has it been forever?

I know that I had just recently been controlling her body in some situations, but she is already getting suspicious. How much longer will it take before she understands what is going on? Am I just a pest to her? What if I'm ruining her life? What if......

What if she never loves me.......

I closed my book. I could feel a hot feeling inside my chest, and my eyes were starting to burn. Wet drops were falling onto the cover of my theory book. I tried to wipe them away, but they continued to overflow out of me. Before I knew it I was weeping. I had never fully wept before, and I wasn't exactly sure what it meant to weep. But I could feel a feeling inside of me while I did. It was a feeling of bitterness, remorse, and sadness.

When did I start to feel this way? Have I always felt this way?

I could hear their conversation continuing, and I tried to calm myself down enough to hear what was being said now. I wiped my face, and cleaned my muzzle with my hooves; I silently leaned back, and listened to the ponies on the other side of Pinkie. 

"What do you mean she likes Fluttershy?" Rarity asked. Her eyes looked as if they were sad.

"Just what I said. She likes...loves Fluttershy. How could you not tell?" Pinkie sat up a little more in her bed as she watched her friends look around frantically. 

"I'm so sorry, Pinkie. It must be hard..." Twilight lowered a hoof onto Pinkie's round shoulder, but she merely nudged her off.

"What must be hard? Wait...Do you really think I have a crush on Dashie?" Pinkie slightly grinned, and gave her friends a mischievous glare. 

"But...y'all said that ya did.." Applejack looked confused.

"If I'm not mistaken, Rarity said that you two guessed that I did." Pinkie wasn't sure when that happened, but she just played along. She was starting to have fun with this. 

"That is true...and you did faint before you could confirm..." Rarity rubbed her muzzle slightly.

"I reckon we just assumed..." Applejack rubbed the back of her mane as if trying to distract herself. All three of Pinkie's friends looked so embarrassed. They had finally realized their mistake. 

"But, you did tell us that you liked one of our close friends." Rarity looked back up with a frown upon her muzzle. Applejack, and Twilight both looked up at Pinkie for an answer.

Pinkie stopped her smiles, and then looked down at her blanket. When did she say that? She furrowed her eyebrows as if to search her internal memory. But she couldn't think of a time that she had ever said that to her friends. What were they talking about then?

"Wh-when did I say that?" Pinkie looked back up at the three pairs of eyes that surrounded her.

"Just yesterd'y, before y'all got yer fever." Applejack rubbed her foreleg, and Rarity nodded in agreement. 

Pinkie looked through her thoughts. She wasn't sure if she had truly said that to them or not, but considering their seriousness then it must be true. But Pinkie had no account whatsoever of ever saying that. In fact she had no account of anything that happened yesterday, if there ever really was a yesterday...

Pinkie could feel her friends staring, awaiting yet another answer out of the pink earth pony. But she didn't know what they wanted her to tell them. She wasn't sure herself what she wanted to tell them. Who did she like? Who did she love?

Pinkie wasn't at all sure who, but for some reason out of nowhere she blurted something out.

"The pony I love isn't either of you, nor is it Dashie, or Flutters. The pony I love is somepony closer to me then you think." After she said this, Pinkie immediately looked startled by herself. What had she just said? Where did that even come from?!

Her three friends couldn't say anything. Nothing came to their minds to say. They just stood, and stared at their confused pink friend.

My eyes widened at those words. Was it really true? Did she truly mean it? Did Pinkie really love me after all?




> The Cutting Theory
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

-The Cutting Theory

Pinkie was left alone. Her three friends had to go back to their day to day things, and Pinkie herself knew she should probably go help out at the sweet shop downstairs.

After a few moments of fluffing her mane, washing her face, and fixing her bed, the pink pony found herself staring into her mirror mounted against her wall. 

'What made me say that? What did I even mean by it?' Pinkie pondered her thoughts as she stared straight into her reflection. 

For some odd reason Pinkie wanted to reach out, and touch the mirror. She wasn't sure what this feeling was inside of her that was urging her to look deeply at herself. What was happening lately?

'Why am I acting so silly?' Pinkie looked at her reflection with a confused look. She tried to smile, but for some reason she didn't feel like smiling at all. Some oddity was causing her to feel....sadness. 

'Today would have been a beautiful day if you weren't acting this way. If you were happy then it would be a fun day to play with your friends. But you're not happy. Why aren't you happy?' Pinkie thought to herself. She slowly reached one pink hoof forward, and softly placed it against the glass. Her eyes fell downward as she touched the image of herself. The pink earth pony could feel a warm feeling in the pit of her stomach, and she quickly took her hoof away from the mirror, and placed it on the small bulge on her belly. 

'You really got to quit eating all those sweets, Pinkie.' The pink pony could feel a slight smile coming on, but it quickly vanished as she felt a sudden rush in her head. 

Pinkie swiftly jerked backwards, and she pulled both hooves to her forehead, and pressed down hard against her skull trying to assuage the pain. What was this all of a sudden? 

As soon as it came it went, and Pinkie was now huddled against her wooden floor. She slowly rocked side to side as her blue eyes jolted to every corner of her room. 

'I have this strange feeling that somepony is trying to tell me something. But who? Where are you?' Pinkie looked up to the mirror on her wall. She couldn't see her reflection due to her being so low on the ground, but she wanted to see herself. She wanted to get up, and touch her reflection again. She wanted to feel that warm heat surging through her. She wasn't sure what it was exactly, but whatever was happening to her, she kind of liked it.

I have to do something. But what? What am I going to do? How am I going to prove to her that I'm here? How am I going to show her who I am?

I quickly searched through the pages of my theory book. Flipping through each page, scanning the words quickly as I went along. I paced through Pinkie's mind, and looked up through her eyes. I could see a wall. It was the wall in her room. I could also see the reflection glass on her wall as well. Was she looking at it too?

"Oh Pinkie, how am I going to show you?" 

I pushed my book away into the darkness. It was of no help at the moment. I didn't even have anything new to add into it. I was too busy trying to figure out what I was going to do. 

I turned my head down, and searched through my inner thoughts. Hoping, and somewhat praying that I would be able to think of an idea, and quick. But to no avail; my mind was completely empty, and I didn't even have the slightest idea of what to do. My pink hoof kicked at the darkness below me, and I looked up once again. 

I was expecting no change in Pinkie's movement, but as I looked through her eyes again I could see her wall getting closer. Pinkie must be walking up to it.

I looked harder, and I could now see Pinkie's reflection in the glass on her wall. What are you doing, Pinkie?

I could see a pink hoof moving towards her reflection. She set it on the glass, and out of no where a burst of heat ran through my body. What was this intense feeling? It was no feeling that I had ever felt before, but it felt sort of good in a way. 

As I tried to regain my focus on Pinkie I suddenly gasped. I finally had an idea!

I jumped up, and ran to my book. I flipped to the Pinkie Theory page, and I jotted something down quickly. As I finished my writing I slammed the book shut, and threw it behind my back into the dark abyss.

I waited for the opportune time, and when I saw that I had a clearing I pushed my way through. 

I could feel myself forming into Pinkie's body, and I felt my hooves against the hard floorboards. I stretched my back, and looked up at my own reflection. My mane was straight, and my eyes looked bloodshot, but at the moment none of this mattered to me.

I looked around Pinkie's room. Trotting to every table, and looking under everything. But as I continued my search I couldn't find anything that I could use. None of these things would be able to do what I was planning on using them for. None of these would help me show Pinkie Pie that I exist.

I frustratingly searched my mind. Where was I going to find one in here? There isn't one in Pinkie's room. Maybe there is one downstairs? In the kitchen perhaps! But how am I going to obtain one without those two Cake ponies noticing? They would probably take it away from me if they saw me carrying one. So how am I going to do this? I guess I could always...sneak one.

I quickly decided upon it, and then made my way over to the door. I quietly opened it trying my hardest not to make the slightest peep. I didn't want anypony to hear me, or see me for that matter.

Without a sound I swiftly exited Pinkie's bedroom, and cautiously made my way down the stairway. The tip of my ears twitched at the sound of ponies talking downstairs. I suddenly came to a stop as I was close enough to see down the stairs. The yellow stallion had his back to me, but there was a whole line of ponies that were facing my direction. How was I suppose to sneak without one of them seeing me?

I could see the door to the kitchen, and it suddenly began to open, and the blue mare came trotting out with a wagon full of sweet treats. I knew that it was the ideal time for me to dash for the kitchen, but my legs were glued to the stairs. I peaked my head farther out to see that the blue mare was delivering the edible treats to various tables. The long line was thinning out, and the yellow stallion was too busy to even hear me. 

I forced my legs to move, and I quickly ran for it. 

I opened the kitchen door, and frantically searched as I ran about the room. Where were they? They had to be somewhere! But where? Maybe in one of these drawers.

My eyes darted at the dozens of drawers in the kitchen. Which one should I look in first? There were so many! Which one were they in?

My body froze up at the sudden sound of hoofsteps, and squeaky wheels making their way back to the kitchen. I looked around in a panic for a place to hide. I could hear the door slowly being pushed open, and without another thought I dove for the nearest counter, and crawled underneath into a curled huddle. 

"Oh my there are a lot of costumers today." The blue Cake pony trotted across the kitchen with her wagon. I could see the back of her forelegs, and she swiftly turned to the side. 

I held my breath as she inched closer to me. I could hear a door opening, but it wasn't the door to the kitchen. It was the door to an odd cabinet. It was very large, and white, and I could feel a cold breeze coming from the inside of it. I silently watched as the Cake pony grabbed something out of the cold cabinet. 

In both hooves she carried a large treat. I had seen Pinkie eating something like this before. I could always hear her talk about how good this cake was. Is that what this was called then? A cake? Just like the Cake ponies I guess.

I saw the blue mare carry the cake over to her wagon. She set it down, and then reached for a drawer to her left. Opening it up she seemed to study the contents for a moment before slipping her hoof inside, and pulling something out.

To my surprise, the blue Cake pony lifted out a knife. I watched as she sliced the cake into various pieces, and then she set the knife back down on the counter. As she distributed to the pieces of cake onto different platters, she set them evenly down on the wagon, and then pulled it out of the kitchen. 

I listened contently for the sound of the door closing, and then I quickly jolted to the other side of the kitchen. I looked down on the counter at the knife. It had sweets all over it, and I wasn't sure if I should use this one since the Cake mare would probably discover it missing.

I turned to my left, and pulled open the same drawer that the mare got the knife out of. Relived to see that there was indeed more knives inside the drawer, I lifted one out. It's edge was quite sharp, and it was so shiny I could see my reflection in it just like the glass in Pinkie's room.

I shut the drawer, and quickly listened for any sounds of somepony returning. When I heard that there were no close hoofsteps I rushed to the door. Glancing out of the small window on the door, and seeing that both of the Cakes were busy with customers to notice me, I opened up the door, and ran straight for the stairs, and galloped at full speed back to Pinkie Pie's room.

I pulled the door tightly shut, and then slouched against the wall. My heart was racing by all the excitement, and I tried to find some air to breath.

I looked down at the knife that I held in my hooves, and smiled at my achievement. I had done it without anypony noticing! I smirked at my own cunning, and then got back on my hooves, and made my way over to Pinkie's welcoming bed. 

I sat down on the soft cushion, and relaxed my muscles.

I had promised that I would always take care of Pinkies body when I use it, but this is just too important. It's for the best!

Pinkie's eyes slowly began to lift. Had she been asleep this whole time? No! She couldn't have! She had just been awake, and then she blacked out. 

Pinkie rubbed her head with her hoof, and then frowned. She knew something was going on. This was just happened much to often to be coincidence.

Pinkie knew that this sounded silly, and nopony would probably believe her, but she could almost swear that their was somepony controlling her from the inside. She could almost laugh at the thought of it herself, but she was much too serious about it. She knew something strange was going on, and this was just too weird for her to be falling asleep randomly out of nowhere.

Pinkie wasn't quite sure what it was, but she felt a painful stinging coming from her stomach. She reached her hooves down onto her stomach again hoping the pain would lessen, but at the slightest touch her skin curled in pain. She quickly pulled her hooves away from her stomach, and she stared shocked at what she saw.

Red droplets were dripping off of her hooftips, and she could almost vomit from the harsh smell. It wasn't just a little bit of it, it was whole puddle of blood running down her arms.  

Pinkie winced in pain, and she quickly ran to her mirror. Staring at her stomach in her reflection she could almost pass out herself.

"uoY sevoL anemakniP?" Pinkie read aloud what she saw in her reflection. She quickly looked down, and carved into her stomach was the words "Pinkamena Loves You." 

Pinkie Pie almost fainted by all the blood, but something was stopping her. She looked at her stomach once more, and read the name.

"Pinkamena. Pinkamena. Pinkamena....That's....that's my name...." How did this get into her skin? Who did this to her? Did she do it to herself? No! She couldn't have.... Could she?

"Pinkamena....do you really love me?"


> Too Many Theories
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

-Too Many Theories

Pinkie stared at her blood stained hooves, and then lowered them down against the carved words once more. She slowly rubbed her hooves against each dead flaps of skin, and tingles of pain flew throughout her body. For some odd reason the feeling was almost orgasmic. Pinkie's face was intensely burning red as she continued to touch the name Pinkamena. 

"Pinkamena....Oh, Pinkamena..." Pinkie's head jerked upwards at the calling of her own name. What was this coming over her? What was this hot feeling inside of her?

Yes. Yes. Yes! That's it, Pinkie! Now you know! Now you know! I could hear her calling out my name. I could feel her touching against the words I wrote out for her. I could sense that she was now realizing. She was finally realizing!

"Pinkamena, are you there?" Pinkie slightly smiled, and rubbed her bloody hooves against herself. She could feel a sensation within her mind as if somepony were inside of her. As if somepony were trying to communicate with her. She could feel them trying to push through to her. She could feel Pinkamena.

"Yes! Yes, I'm here! I'm here, Pinkie!" I shouted as loudly as I could. Would she even be able to hear me? She never had before. I had tried talking to her many times before, and she would never respond. She couldn't hear me in here. But something was different this time. Something had changed. 

"Pinkamena? Is that you?" Pinkie looked around. She softly touched her head with one bloody hoof, and stared blankly into her reflection.

Did she just? Can she hear me!?  I quickly jolted upwards in excitement. For the first time in my dark life I was able to talk to my Pinkie Pie. My love!

"Pinkie!" I shouted again. I wanted to hold my arms around her tightly, and kiss her all around, but I knew I couldn't do that. But at the moment that didn't matter. I was happy enough that I could actually say something to her, and she could hear me! She even spoke back! I think she does love me!

"Pinkamena, you've been this close to me the whole time. The one pony I....love..is closer to me than you think..." 

I could almost scream with joy at the sound of her voice, and the words that left her lips. I couldn't believe it. My hopes had been answered, and now I would finally be able to be happy.

"You know I've been very worried about Pinkie Pie lately..." Twilight Sparkle levitated a cup up to her muzzle, and sipped on the edge of it. 

"I wasn't going to say anything, but....She was watching me, and Fluttershy the other day...." Rainbow Dash lifted her head, and looked over at her lover with regretful eyes. Fluttershy merely watched her other friends' expressions to Rainbow's confession. 

"Watchin' y'all how?" Applejack moved closer, and raised an eyebrow at the cyan pegasus. Rainbow Dash gave her a look of embarrassment. 

"Well we were....."

"Dashie was helping me with one of my critters, and she heard Pinkie hiding behind some of my flower bushes. We acted as if we didn't notice her though..." Fluttershy spoke up. She could feel her cheeks blushing, and she hid behind her long pink mane. Rainbow Dash sighed with relief; she was not looking forward to telling her friends about her lovey dovey moments with her marefriend. 

"I do say that is quite odd, but Pinkie Pie sometimes is odd." Rarity found her opportunity to speak. She fluffed at her purple mane, and then looked down at her tea cup. 

The five friends sat around the picnic blanket in silence for a few moments. They weren't sure what to say next. They were all too busy thinking about Pinkie Pie, and what they took about her oddness lately. 

"Don't you remember what she told us?" Twilight directed her question to Applejack, and Rarity. Their eyes looked up at the purple unicorn with questioning looks as to what she was asking. 

"When she told us she loved somepony?" Twilight tried to simplify her question. The two mares looked less confused now. They both exchanged glances, and then the white unicorn replied.

"Oh yes I do recall that. It was strange the way she said it..." 

Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy looked at each other in confusion, and then looked back at their three friends.

"How did she say it?" Rainbow Dash edged in closer with her ears perked up. Fluttershy leaned in a little further too, anticipating all the gossip about their pink party pony friend.

"The pony I love is somepony closer to me than you think." Twilight recited Pinkie's exact words to them. She observed Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy as they tried to comprehend the statement.

"I...uh...I don't see how that's particularly odd...." Fluttershy lowered her head as she spoke her mind. Rainbow Dash tried to support her companion with her own opinion.

"Fluttershy is right. Maybe she just likes one of her close friends." Rainbow Dash's eyes slightly turned to the yellow pegasus next to her. She blushed slightly, but hurriedly shook the embarrassment off of her blue face.

"She said it wasn't one of us. What other close friends does she have? Sure she has a lot of friends, but she said close." Rarity turned her eyes to the orange earth pony she secretly admired. However, Applejack's attention was upon Twilight, and Rainbow Dash as they continued to argue about the Pinkie Pie matter.

"So who exactly do you have in mind?" Rainbow looked at Twilight as if she had all the answers.

"I don't have anypony in mind. I wouldn't be asking about it if I already knew." Twilight narrowed her purple eyes at the athletic pony. She turned her head slightly upwards as she tried to calm her temper. 

"Somepony has to know something! Maybe one of us should ask Pinkie Pie herself." Rainbow slouched back in a slump as she eyeballed her four friends; searching for the best candidate to do the job. 

"Maybe Fluttershy should do it. She's really well at getting answers." Rarity offered. Fluttershy's eyes widened at the consideration. 

"No, no I couldn't...." She shied away behind her mane once again. Rainbow lifted a hoof atop her head in comfort, and then turned her pink eyes back to the other mares.

"How about you do it, Twilight. You're good at asking questions." Rainbow immaturely stuck her tongue out at the unicorn. Twilight was slightly taken aback, but she continued to keep her cool with her airhead of a friend. 

"I don't think I would be the best option. I think you should do it, Rainbow Dash. Considering how much you like her." The corner of Twilight's muzzle slightly curled upwards as she attempted to bash the pegasus. 

"Psh. Pu-lease! Everypony knows I don't like Pinkie Pie like that. Besides she would never listen to me if I asked." Rainbow smoothly brushed Twilight's attempt off of her like it was merely a speck of dust. The purple unicorn looked disappointed at her failure. She wasn't much of a pony to give insults.

"Well, Ah think we should all go ask her together." Applejack finally edged her way into the ongoing argument. 

"I think she is absolutely right!" Rarity smiled as she agreed with the farm pony. Applejack slightly tipped her hat at the white unicorn, and gave her a wink.

"Um...I ...I like that idea..." Fluttershy lifted her head from the ground.

"Then it's settled then." Twilight began to stand up on her hooves. She magically lifted the blanket, and picnic contents, and shoved them into a basket.

"Let's go!" Rainbow Dash pulled Fluttershy, and they both lifted from the ground, and flew towards SugarCube Corner. The rest of the girls followed them on hoof.

The five mares walked passed a couple houses, and ponies were all about doing the usual. It took them a while before reaching their destination, but at last they could finally see the over sized gingerbread house just up ahead. Twilight trotted further in front of Applejack, and Rarity, and Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy were already at the doorstep reading a sign that was attached to the door.

"What does it say?" Twilight asked as she made her way over to the two pegasi.

"The Cakes are out on a delivery." Rainbow Dash answered as she turned to the purple unicorn. Fluttershy turned to her friends.

"Do you think...we should come back later?" She asked in a quiet voice. Her pink mane softly stroked Rainbow Dash from the side, and the cyan pegasus could feel her heart fluttering. 

"Ah think it would be best if we go on ahead since they ain't here, and all. More privacy to ask Pinkie Pie." Applejack stepped forward with her reply. Rainbow Dash nodded her head in agreement, and Fluttershy softly sighed.

"I think we should go ahead too. Go on, and open the door." Twilight said as she turned to Rainbow to open the front door. With these orders, Rainbow slowly turned the nob, and pushed open the doorway. She slowly hovered into the sweet shop, and gasped at what she saw.

The five mares all entered in the bakery to see white confetti spread all across the entrance, and all throughout the downstairs. 

"What is this?" Twilight asked aloud as she picked up a hoof full of the confetti. 

"What is it doing lying all around?" Rarity tiphoofed around the spread out paper. She noticed that a trail of the confetti was leading up the stairway, and she turned to her friends to get their attention.

"It's leading upstairs." Rarity lifted a hoof to the staircase to motion everyponies eyes to the trail. All of their eyes were wide at the sight. They were all confused as to what was going on.

"Maybe the Cake's put it out fer decoration." Applejack considered. She tried to keep her mind off of anything strange going on, and tried to keep positive about the situation.

"Applejack, darling. I'm sure the Cake's have a much better sense of style than this." Rarity kicked her hoof at the white pieces of paper, and looked at it almost in disgust.

Applejack's muzzle frowned at her consideration being shattered, and couldn't help but think the worst. Something strange was going on...

"Well let's quit horsing around, and figure out what's going on!" Rainbow Dash started her way towards to stairs, and waited for her friends to follow. They hesitated for a moment, but then gave up, and walked over to the staircase as well.

Confetti crunched under their hooves as they walked step by step upstairs. Their ears twitched at the sudden sound of music deafened by the thick walls. 

"Do y'all here that?" Applejack leaned her head towards the wall trying to get a better listen. They all silently nodded their heads as they slowly walked up to Pinkie's bedroom door. Rainbow Dash was almost timid to open it, but she overcame her odd fear, and slowly pushed the door open.

Their eyes widened with the sight that they quickly took in.

White confetti was thrown about. White balloons were floating against the ceiling. White streamers hung from up top. A large white cake sat on Pinkie's nearby dresser table. "Here comes the BrideMare" was playing on a small stereo system, and in the center of it all there she was.

Pinkie Pie was standing next to her bed. A bouquet of white roses wrapped in her hooves. A long veil hung over her pink face, and a white dress that looked as if it were poorly torn from some other piece of clothing was wrapped around her.  

Her large smile blinded all five of them as they looked at the scene with all mouths agape. No words could be spoken from them, for neither of them knew what to say. What was going on? Was all they could think.

"I'm glad you guys could make it! Welcome to my wedding!"
> Theories About My Bride To Be
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

-Theories About My Bride To Be

The sight was hard to take in, and none of the five mares knew how to react to it. What in the world was their pink friend doing? 

"Pinkie, what on earth are you talking about?" Rarity forced herself to speak first. Her eyes were mainly focused on the hideously made "wedding gown" that Pinkie Pie was wearing. 

Pinkies largely lit eyes were gazing upon her friends. Her smile was still locked upon her muzzle, and she seemed as if she were waiting for somepony else to ask something. Nevertheless, she answered with a giggle.

"It's my wedding sillies! Can't you tell? Isn't it the best!?" Pinkie jumped up and down in a hyper manner. Her veil, and mane was bouncing all around as she continued to jump with glee. The other five mares were still terribly confused, yet they were afraid in a way to ask her anything else. 

"I'm not sure if they are too excited, Pinkie." I spoke up; my words coming out of Pinkie's mouth as well being heard by the other girls.

Twilight was taken aback by Pinkie's words. Why was she speaking in first pony? Why was she acting this way?

"No, No I'm sure their excited. They're just so surprised that they can't think of anything to say!" Pinkie said to herself, or that's what it seemed. 

Rainbow Dash looked over to Fluttershy, and they both stared with confusion into one another's eyes. Fluttershy was beginning to feel fear for her pink friend, and Rainbow could sense it. She lifted a blue hoof, and placed it on Fluttershy's. A warm blush came upon her yellow face as she tried to ignore the fact that she was holding hooves with her marefriend in front of their friends, but they weren't paying attention to them. Everyponies eyes were on Pinkie.

"What in tarnation are y'all goin' on 'bout?" The orange farm pony took a step forward into the white decorated room. She could feel sweat dripping down the back of her neck as she realized the deranged look upon her friends face. Her eyes looked bloodshot, and her smile was crooked. It was almost scary to see her like this.

"Why don't you look happy?" Pinkie lowered her head, and dropped her bouquet of white roses. Her veil hid her blue teary eyes as her friends all moved closer in.

"We just don't understand, Pinkie. What are you talking about a wedding for?" Twilight walked over to her saddened pink friend. She lifted a hoof on her shoulder, but it was quickly slapped away by Pinkie Pie who's eyes swiftly darted upwards, and stabbed at all of her friends' hearts. 

"How could you not be happy for me?!" Pinkie pulled the veil off her head, and threw it across the room. It hit the mirror on the wall opposite of her. 

"They don't accept us, Pinkie. That's not fair though!" I yelled out. I could see fear stricken within the five mares eyes. The all began to back away cautiously. 

"I know it's not fair! They're suppose to be my friends!" Pinkie's eyes were enraged.

Twilight turned her eyes over to Applejack who was now standing in front of Rarity, and holding her head low in a defense position. Applejack caught Twilight's purple eyes, and then nodded at her. Twilight knew that in case Pinkie got out of control she could count on AJ to pin her down, and keep her from doing anything she would regret. The purple unicorn was just making precautions just to be safe.

"Pinkie Pie, what is your problem?" Rainbow Dash hovered in the air above Twilight's head. Her pink eyes were narrowed at the party pony in confusion. Pinkie; however, did not look intimidated by her at all.

"How can they not accept us, Pinkie? They're hypocrites!" I shouted through my beloved's lips. I was beginning to feel hatred towards these mares that I used to think were good friends to Pinkie. I used to think that they were alright. I actually grew fond of them, but now.....now I knew who they truly were!

"Well, maybe that's a little harsh don't you think, Pinkamena?" Pinkie asked herself. 

Green, blue, purple, pink, and turquoise eyes all lit up at the name Pinkie mentioned. Pinkamena? That was Pinkie's birth name. Why was she addressing herself by both of her names? Pinkie? Pinkamena? What was she doing?

"It's not harsh enough! They are what they are!" My heart was pounding with anger as I looked in disgust at the ponies I used to consider my friends. 

They were nothing more to me now than trash. I could barely stand to look at them without wanting to attack them all. I wanted with all my heart to take control of Pinkie's body one last time to rip these ponies to shreds, but if I did that then it would make Pinkie sad...and I didn't want to do that.

"Pinkie...." Twilight tried to comfort her friend in her obvious time of hysteria. She wasn't sure what else to say to her though. She could only look upon her with sympathetic eyes, and hope that her pink friend would snap out of her delusions. 

"Twilight, I...."

"Don't listen to them! They're trying to break us apart!" I cut off Pinkie's words with my own. The last thing I wanted was for Pinkie to give up on me. Right when we were about to live a long life together, they had to mess it up! Why did they have to do this to me? They all had love lives too! They didn't see me, or Pinkie screwing with them! But maybe...I should now....

"Pinkie, don't you see? They're trying to keep us apart, but they have feelings for one another too!" I tried to convince my dear Pinkie to listen to me. I couldn't have her going to their side. I just couldn't let it happen!

"What do you mean, Pinkamena?" Pinkie asked me. I could see her staring back at her friends. They all wore worried glances. 

"Applejack, and Rarity often have sexual contact! They even have feelings for each other! And Rainbow Dash is in love with Fluttershy! In love! And about the purple one....she's too boring to have a love life." I revealed all of the mares secrets that I was able to conjure up from all the research I had done on them. I had seen the things they do in secret, and I hear the things they tell each other when they think nopony is listening. I know everything about them, and I could reveal everything about them!

"What?!" Pinkie jumped back as she stared with utter confusion at her friends. She couldn't believe that nopony ever told her these things.

"No! We don't love each other!" Rainbow Dash embarrassingly looked away. Her cheeks flustered a bright red. Fluttershy could feel tears forming in the corner of her eyes at Rainbow's words. She knew that Rainbow was easily embarrassed, but for some reason the words hurt her.

"And no way in all of here Equestria would I do anythin' like that to this here pampered prissy pony!" Applejack threw an accusing hoof in Rarity's direction. Her eyebrows furrowed with anger.

"How dare you call me that! You brute! I would never in all my life lay a single hoof on you!" Rarity turned her head high in the air with a hmph! Deep inside she was feeling pain though. She truly did love Applejack, but the farm pony was quick to deny it. Rarity couldn't help but wonder if Applejack had any feelings for her at all.

Twilight did not look amused by the comment on her being too boring. She simply watched her other friends fight about the accusations against them. Was Pinkie telling the truth about them having romantic affairs, or was she just trying to get them all to argue about it? Twilight was still worried about the way Pinkie was talking. It was as if two mares were talking to one another through one body. Was that possible?

"How dare you guys try to tell me who to love when you are loving each other like this!" Pinkie ripped at her dress, and pulled it completely off her body. She tossed it forward at her once was friends, and it smacked Twilight softly in the face, and then fell to the floor. Twilight didn't care about the dress though. She noticed something on Pinkie's stomach. It almost made her won't to throw up at the sight. What in the world was this?!

"Pinkamena was the pony I've been waiting for all this time! She was always there for me when I needed somepony. She was always watching over me, and taking care of me. She was always beside me when I was alone! She never even asked for anything in return! And now I finally discovered that she was there for me all these years! She is the pony that I was meant to be with! She is the pony that I love! And she loves me too! See?!" Pinkie lifted herself onto her hind legs revealing the carving on her body. Blood still stained her pink fur, and it looked fairly fresh. 

"Pinkie! What have you done!?" Twilight ran over to her injured friend. She tried to put a hoof over the wound, but Pinkie shoved her down. Twilight tumbled against the hard floor, but she quickly jolted up to her hooves again, and tried to get Pinkie to calm down only to be pushed twice as hard this time. Twilight landed in a heap in front of Applejack. She lifted her purple friend up, and made sure she was okay.

"She had to show me one way! And this was the perfect way! Pinkamena made me see that she loved me! She really loves me! And none of you seem to be happy for me! This was suppose to be my wedding day! You were suppose to be my friends! So why are you trying to ruin my wedding? Why are you trying to ruin my love?" Pinkie's eyes were torn between sadness, and pure hatred. The five mares were having a hard time deciding which one it was. 

"Pinkie, they should just leave. We don't need them at our wedding!" I angrily said. I was so mad. I wish I could just hit them all right in the muzzle. Maybe then would they feel the pain they were causing me!

"I wished they could have stayed....they are my friends..."

Rainbow Dash was on her shortage, and she couldn't take the craziness anymore. She was on the edge of her limits, and she was getting sick, and tired to listening to Pinkie Pie talk to herself as if somepony else were there. She was just talking to herself! Rainbow flew quickly forward, and knocked her pink friend over onto the ground, and pounced on top of her. 

"Snap out of it, Pinkie! Snap out of it!" Rainbow kept banging Pinkie's head against the floor over, and over. She could feel tears streaming down her blue cheeks as she looked at her friends face. Droplets of tears fell onto Pinkie's face from Rainbow's. The cyan pegasus continued to bang Pinkie's head against the ground until Fluttershy pulled her away. 

Rainbow quickly turned around, and buried her face into Fluttershy's soft mane. Crying with all she had; something she never did in front of her friends, let alone Fluttershy. But for some reason she couldn't stop herself. She wrapped her arms around her lover, and continued to cry. Fluttershy was surprised by her marefriends sudden outburst, but without question she drew her hooves around her Dashie, and comforted her.

Pinkie stumbled on her hooves again, and then fell onto her bed behind her. Her chest was going up, and down rapidly trying to catch her breath. She was confused as to what was happening. What was going on between her, and her friends. Why were they doing this to her?

"Do something..." Rarity harshly whispered to Applejack. The orange pony turned her eyes to the white unicorn, and found herself looking at her with remorseful eyes. She then turned to Pinkie, and walked over to her, passing her crying friend, and her lover.

Applejack sat down on the edge of Pinkie's bed, and lifted a hoof onto her. This time Pinkie was too tired to jerk her away. Either that, or she knew that if she tried to push Applejack she would only get tackled down herself. 

"Pinkie Pie. Who is Pinkamena?" Applejack tried to not upset her friend any further. She kept her voice calm, and low. Rubbing her pink forearm softly in a comforting manner. Twilight, and Rarity blocked out Rainbow's sobs, and listened intently to Pinkie, and Applejack.

"Oh, Applejack. I love her....why don't you understand.....she's....she's inside of me....I love her, Applejack...I love her...." Pinkie found herself sniffling between her words, and hot tears strolled down her face. She could taste a few salty drops making their way into her mouth as she tried to speak. 

Applejack continued to rub Pinkie's arm. But she was starting to feel afraid of her friend. Was Pinkie Pie going insane? Twilight, and Rarity both noticed Applejack's questioning face, and they slowly made their way over to her for support. 

"Does she speak to you?" Rarity spoke up as she made her way next to Applejack.

Pinkie merely nodded her head. Her eyes were still clenched shut. 

"Can we speak to her?" Twilight asked. She gulped down hard at her question. She knew that she would only be talking to Pinkie if she were to speak with Pinkamena. But maybe it would make Pinkie feel better, and maybe it would help her hysteria go away.

"I don't know....I think you guys made her angry...."

"No, it's okay, Pinkie. I will talk to them if they want to be civil about it..." I  tried to satisfy my Pinkie by accepting a conversation with these dreaded pony friends of hers.

"Pinkamena, is that you?" Twilight asked knowing that Pinkie was obviously talking for her. But Twilight had read about this kind of sickness before. Split personality disorder? Was that what it was? Did Pinkie truly think she was two completely different mares?

"Yeah. What do you want?" I didn't yell this time. I tried to keep my voice calm so I wouldn't cause Pinkie to get upset again. I wanted her to cheer up. It was our wedding day after all.

"And what is it that you want with Pinkie Pie?" Twilight looked at her delusional pink friend with sympathy. She knew that Pinkie must have some mental disorder. Celestia knows how it all of a sudden hit her like this, but obviously something was wrong with her. She knew that Pinkie would probably be best off if she saw a doctor, but she also knew that the Pinkamena personality was quite forceful maybe even hostile, and she doubted that they would be able to escort her to any hospital.

"I want her to love me forever. I want to spend all of my life with her. I want to be with her, and I want everypony else to accept us." I looked through Pinkie's eyes at the purple unicorn. I wasn't sure what she was thinking, but she seemed a lot calmer now.

"Aw, I love you Pinkamena." Pinkie said to herself. She softly smiled, and the three mares in front of her watched with fear. They could also hear Rainbow's sobs letting up, but they could see that she was still buried with Fluttershy.

"I love you too, Pinkie." I said with a blush upon my face. That was the first time I actually said it out loud to her, or anypony else. It felt good to say it for the first time. I felt so happy at the moment. 

"I understand." Twilight said. She then stood up from the bed, and Applejack, and Rarity did the same. They all looked down upon their deranged pink friend. 

"Does this mean we get to have our wedding after all?" I asked with a spark of hope in my heart. Maybe these ponies weren't so bad after all!

Applejack, Twilight, and Rarity all exchanged glances. They were quietly conjuring up a plan to get Pinkie Pie some help. 

"Of course."


> Questioning My Theories
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

-Questioning My Theories

I watched as our friends prepared me, and Pinkie's wedding. We had decided upon moving our wedding to a larger location, thus is why we were now standing in Applejack's barn at Sweet Apple Acres.

My heart was pounding with anticipation, joy, excitement, and nervousness. My eyes darted from side to side as I observed what everypony was doing. I saw Applejack setting out a large cake on a table that Rainbow Dash set up. Fluttershy was decorating the ceiling with streamers, and balloons. Twilight had a clipboard in hoof, and was magically checking off different things; I was assuming making sure everything was in order. 

However, my eyes were much more glued onto what Rarity was doing. In this barn there were no mirrors, and I wouldn't be able to see my Pinkie Pie in her wedding dress, but I watched contently as Rarity fixed up Pinkie's ripped dress. She was hemming the ends, and using frill as accents. Trimming it with a golden silk lining, and tying up the back with a white ribbon. 

If I couldn't see my bride in her dress, at least I could imagine her in it. 

"Girls, are we almost ready?" Twilight lifted her eyes from her check list, and looked around at the preparations. I could see her lip curl slightly at the ends as if she were amused with something.

I ignored the unicorn, and looked through my bride to be's eyes as she walked over to our friends.

"Oh, I'm so happy you guys were able to make my wedding even better!" Pinkie gawked at the decorations, and the atmosphere of her wedding place. I was so joyed to see that my dearest was finally happy. She well deserved a great day on her wedding. 

"That's what friends er' for there, Pinkie." Applejack titled her hat slightly, and her eyes wondered over to Twilight who looked down to her clipboard, and nodded her head.

Rainbow Dash still had tear stained cheeks from her earlier break down, but a quivery smile was upon her muzzle as she hovered next to Fluttershy. The yellow pegasus, however, had a strange look about her face. Her ears were pulled back, and she was shaking timidly. 

"What's wrong, Flutters?" I asked through my Pinkie's lips. I gave her a concerned look. 

Her large eyes jolted towards me with a slight hint of fear, and she squeaked; jumping a few inches in the air. Her long pink mane fell over one of her eyes, and she looked me directly in the eyes.

"Oh, I'm just so nervous for you guys! I always get nervous at weddings....they... um...make me nervous...." She put on a measly smile, and hid a little behind Rainbow Dash whom stood in front of her firmly. 

"Well I understand! I'm nervous too!" I smiled at the timid pony, and then turned back to Twilight. I figured she was the one with the plan on when we started to the ceremony, and what we were suppose to do. 

"I can see that everything is all set, and we are ready to start." Twilight lifted her head from her clipboard, and looked over at Rarity. 

"Oh, do be a darling, and put on your dress, Pinkie." Rarity hoofed over the newly fixed wedding gown to my bride. Pinkie accepted it in her own hooves, and walked over to the corner to put on her dress. Rarity assisted her with her magic. Pulling at the lace tied in the back, and finally pulling the last bow tight.

"It looks splendid on you!" Rarity clopped her hooves together, and turned her eyes to Twilight once more. Once again, Twilight looked down at her list, and nodded her head. 

"Well, are you ready to get started, Pinkie? Pinkamena?" Twilight looked over at us with her purple eyes. She gestured her hoof in the direction of a chair. It was a rather odd looking chair. Do ponies sit in chairs at weddings? I wouldn't know, for I had never seen a wedding before. I had only heard that it was the ultimate way to love somepony. That is why I asked Pinkie for her hoof in marriage. 

Pinkie trotted over to the large, brown chair. She looked at it questionably, but as she looked over at our friends she was reassured that everything was going to go perfectly, and they had set up the greatest wedding for us. Pinkie took her seat, and I watched through her eyes. I wish there was a way I could whisper in her ear cute little i love you's, but the best I could do was puff out my chest, and ready myself for an amazing wedding, and a long full life ahead of us.

"Rainbow Dash?" Twilight turned her head upwards to the cyan pegasus above her. Rainbow seemed to know her cue, and she quickly flew over to me, and Pinkie. 

"I sure hope this works." Rainbow Dash said under her breath, as she reached our chair. With a glow of Twilight's horn, something began to change on the chair. The rainbow pegasus swiftly locked four clamps, and tightly secured them around Pinkie's bottom hooves, and top hooves. 

"Wh-what is this, Dashie?" Pinkie Pie looked up in fear at her light blue friend. Rainbow's eyes were filled with remorse as she looked away from Pinkie.

"I'm sorry, Pinkie..." 

Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy began making their way over to us. The locks were keeping Pinkie restrained, and even with my strength I couldn't get them to budge. 

"What is the meaning of this?!" I shouted as I looked at the eyes of me, and Pinkie Pie's friends. I was beginning to feel fear myself. Fear that this was all a trick. Fear that they weren't really my friends. Fear that I wouldn't have my wedding. Fear that I would lose Pinkie Pie.

"Pinkie, we have come to the knowledge that you have a rare disease. It's called split-personality disorder. Pinkie do you hear Pinkamena?" Twilight stood closest to us. Her clipboard now hovering above her head, and a purple aura glowed around it. 

"What do you mean? Of course I do! You do too!" Pinkie's eyes were stricken with worry. She could now sense the deceit coming from her friends.

"What is she saying?" Twilight asked. 

"What do you mean? Pinkie doesn't have to tell you what I'm saying! You can hear me perfectly fine!" I was feeling sick on my stomach now. I couldn't believe this was happening. Why were they doing this to us? They were suppose to be our friends!

"Pinkie Pie, it's all in your head. There is no Pinkamena. There never was. Pinkie Pie....Pinkamena is you." Twilight's eyes were lowering now. She looked more sympathetic now.

"You're lying, Twilight!" I could hear Pinkie screaming now. Sobs were breaking her words, and making them hard to understand. 

I wanted to cry myself now. Why were they doing this? Why are they constantly trying to keep us apart? Why can't they accept us!?

I could now see the white unicorn walking over to Pinkie, and placing a hoof on the shoulder of her dress. Why would they do this? They prepared this wonderful wedding for us, getting our hopes high, and then they do this! They destroy our hopes, and our dreams to be together. They....were no longer friends to me.

"Don't touch her!" I jerked my shoulder furiously.

"Don't you ever touch her!" I couldn't take it anymore. I struggled against the restraints, trying to break loose, but I couldn't budge. I couldn't reach forward towards the damn ponies that were ruining my life! I couldn't attack them! I couldn't stop them....

"Pinkie, calm down." Applejack stood forward, and reached her hoof around Rarity. The white unicorn fell back into Applejack's forearm with a blush flustered across her face.

I can't believe this! They are actually taunting me now! Showing affection for each other, yet they are keeping me from Pinkie Pie!

"I can't.....You guys are suppose to love me....you're suppose to support me...." Pinkie's cries were breaking her sentences, and she could barely get a breath out. 

"We do love you...and um...we do support you, but...." Fluttershy looked over to Rainbow Dash for some help with her wording.

"But this is just ridiculous!" Rainbow Dash spit out boldly. Fluttershy timidly looked at her with disapproval. 

Pinkie's teary blue eyes looked over at the cyan pegasus with so much sorrow. She couldn't comprehend all that was happening to her. She couldn't understand what was going on. She didn't want to.

"Why....." That's all my dear Pinkie could let out. I couldn't even think of anything to say myself. My mind was wondering in so many places at once that I couldn't even think straight. I stayed quiet within my lover. Not being able to comfort her. Not being able to tell her everything would be alright. Not being able to save her. Not being able to do anything.

"It's for your own good, Pinkie Pie." Twilight, with her clipboard hovering over her head, stepped closer. 

Pinkie looked towards the unicorn she once considered her friend. Her eyes were swollen from her tears, and she couldn't even make out anymore to say. She completely gave up. There was no hope...and she knew this deep inside. I knew it....

"Pinkie Pie....it's time to let go Pinkamena. It's time to face the truth, and move on. Pinkamena doesn't exist." Twilight leaned back a little on her forelegs. 

I wanted to just destroy them all. I wanted to kill them, and take my Pinke Pie far away from this horrid place, with these horrid ponies. I wanted to just die myself. 

Pinkie Pie looked up at the five mares before her. Her blue eyes turned from side to side. Her pink mane fell over her face slightly, and she relaxed her muscles. She gave up resisting. With a sad, long sigh, the pink pony finally opened her mouth, and gave a reply.

".....okay...."

My eyes sunk deep within my skull. I couldn't trust what my ears just heard. I didn't want to believe it. I couldn't believe it. What did she mean? What was she saying? Why did she even continue to speak to them? What was happening? What was she doing!?

"Pinkie!" I yelled out through her lips. I wanted to remind her that I was still here. I wanted her to see that I was real. I wanted her to know that I still loved her. I wanted her to love me too.

"No.....no....you're not real! You're not real!!!" Pinkie screamed at the top of her lungs. 

I was taken aback. My heart was throbbing with pain. How could she believe them?

"Of course I'm real! I love you!" I could feel hot streams of water dripping down my cheeks now. I really wanted to die now. There was no question in it. I wanted to die...

"Leave me ALONE!!!" Pinkie threw her head back, and clenched her eyes shut. I could no longer see anything but darkness. She was shutting me out. She was shutting me out of her world!

"Pinkie...It's okay now." I could hear Twilight saying. I couldn't see her. I couldn't see anypony. 

I wanted to speak, but when I tried my words failed to be heard by the outside world. I couldn't even hear myself. I couldn't hear what was going on outside of Pinkie. I couldn't hear her. I couldn't hear anything.

There was nothing more I could do. There was nothing more I could say. There was nothing more at all for me to try to accomplish. There was nothing at all in this world for me. No love. No friends. Nothing. Nothing but a solitude, dark world within the pony that I wanted so badly. The pony that I longed to love. The pony that I almost got my chance with. The pony that I was going to spend my life with. That pink pony...

Pinkie....I love you....
> The Pinkie Theory
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

-The Pinkie Theory

Three Months Later

Pinkie Pie could feel a warming beam glare upon her forearms. She turned over onto her side trying to avoid the light from piercing her eyelids. Stretching one arm over her face, and using her other arm to pull up her blanket, Pinkie was not ready to wake up. She had a rough sleep, and at the moment she wanted to make up for all that lost time.

However, her nose was cringed by the smell of freshly baked goods, and her ears were singed by the cries of Pound Cake, and Pumpkin Cake.

The pink pony softly grumbled, and buried her muzzle into her bed pillow. But no matter how hard she tried, she could not find her way to go back to sleep. With tired eyes opening, and weak forearms reaching forward, Pinkie finally found herself getting out of her lazy position.

This feels like deja vu... The pink pony thought to herself as she reached her front hoof forward, and scratched the back of her head softly.

She noticed her reflection on the mirror mounted on the wall across from her bed. Half of her mane was straightened. The other half was fluffed out. Pinkie reached her other hoof towards her mane, and stroked the flat side lightly. The silky smooth strings of hair softly brushed against her skin, and Pinkie had a strange jolting feeling within her chest.

She jumped up slightly at the sudden surge, and placed one hoof against her heart. The beat was normal. The rhythm was usual, and nothing seemed to be out of order. But what was that strange feeling? Pinkie had been feeling it a lot lately, and she had been trying to understand what it was, and why she was having it constantly, but she was unable to figure what was causing it, and due to this Pinkie ignored it as much as possible. 

She wrinkled her nose from the same old sweet smell coming from the bakery down stairs. It was odd, but lately she hadn't been feeling in the mood for sweet treats like usual. She wasn't in the mood for smelling them either, but nevertheless she woke up to the same smell every morning, and not once had she complained to the Cake's.

How could she complain to them? It was their job to make delicious sweets for the ponies of Ponyville, and just because Pinkie didn't feel like smelling it didn't give her the right to demand them to stop. At least that is how she felt about it, and that is what she had to continue to mentally tell herself.

It had been months since she had eaten anything sweet. The most she would touch was a salad, and not a very big salad at that. It had been months since she laughed. It wasn't very often that Pinkie ceased to make laughter, but there was nothing that seemed to amuse her lately. Nothing seemed to make her feel humored in any way. It had been months since she spent time with her friends. Their lives were busy, and she knew that they all didn't have the time to go on picnics like they used to. They didn't have time to goof around like Pinkie did. Their spare time was short, and Pinkie's was an unlimited amount. However, she didn't feel the need to use her spare time. She didn't feel the need to go anywhere, or see anypony for that matter.

Pinkie had been spending the last three months, stored away in her bedroom. Nopony had bothered to mess with her except the Cake's. They had been knocking on her door at least once a day to make sure she was still there. To make sure she was still alive. All they needed was a simple knock back, and they were back downstairs, baking more treats. They had given up on trying to get her to leave. They weren't even sure why she wouldn't. But the most they could do now was leave a salad by the door, three times a day, and hope that Pinkie would eat it.

Pinkie wouldn't speak to them though. They would often say Hello if they passed the door, or sometimes they would even say Good night! before they went to bed. But Pinkie would never respond back. The most she would do would beat the wall slightly enough for them to know that she heard them. To let them know that she was alright. 

Even though Pinkie's odd behavior had been stirring up drama all over Ponyville, she still didn't find the need to clear her name. It wasn't as if she were mad at anypony. She didn't hate anypony either. She wasn't even being lazy. She just couldn't put her hoof on it, but she just felt as if she were chronically depressed. She had no energy. No willpower. Nothing could urge her to leave her room, let alone clear her gossiped name.

None of that seemed to matter after all. She wasn't necessarily upset. She just didn't seem to care.

The pink pony traveled towards her mirror. She stared at her reflection for the longest time. Searching every small detail about herself. And slowly, ever so slowly did she reach her hoof out, and touch the glass. 

Goosebumps rose on her forearms at the slightest touch of her reflection. Her heart skipped a beat, and she couldn't explain the feeling within her chest. She couldn't understand what it was. She couldn't remember anything! What happened before? What was missing? Something was missing, and she didn't know what!





"Do you think she will be okay, Doctor?" Twilight asked as she slowly looked down upon her unconscious friend.

"She is stable now, but I still am upset that you tied her up instead of taking her straight here. I do wonder though, why did you tie her up like that? Why didn't you just send her straight to me?" The brown stallion turned his eyes towards the five mares. His white button down coat rustled with his movement. 

"We....well...." Twilight was searching for a way to put it. She wasn't really sure why they did it. They just did. 

"We thought we could reason with her." Rainbow Dash spoke up after seeing Twilight's struggle to explain. 

"Well....by these bruises around her arms, and legs it seems that she put up a hard resistance. And what about this carving in her stomach? Did you not see that as well?" The doctor lifted his eyebrow towards the ponies. He was obviously not trusting them all too well, and they could see it in his eyes that if they said the wrong thing, they may just as well get into some trouble.

"We did, but..." Twilight stopped again. She wasn't sure why they didn't do anything about that either. Why didn't they take her to the hospital right away? Why?

"She wouldn't let us. If we were to touch it she would have become hostile. She told us something pretty peculiar about it...." Rarity tried to help Twilight with her words as well. She struggled to make it sound as convincing as possible. She didn't want to be caught in a lie.

"And what would that be, Miss?" The stallion waited for an answer. Was he believing a word they were saying?

"She said...." Twilight once again struggled to speak. She just didn't have any answers. She didn't know why they did what they did.

"She said 'er lover put it there to show 'er that she loved 'er." The orange farm pony supported Twilight's incomplete sentence. Applejack slightly covered her sorrowful eyes with the tip of her hat. Rarity nudged her for comfort.

"Lover?" The doctor now seemed to be more interested in what they were saying. He leaned in closer with an odd look upon his face, waiting for more details.

"You see she...." Twilight lowered her head, and stopped herself.

"Pinkie thought there was another pony inside of her..." A timid Fluttershy peeped her head out from behind Rainbow Dash. She softly squeaked at the end of her words. She wasn't sure if she should have said that or not, but her friends didn't seem to try to correct her for wrongness.

"Pony inside her?" The doctor looked up from the mares, and rubbed his chin slightly. He looked thoughtfully down towards the sleeping pink mare, and then his eyes traveled back to the purple unicorn who spoke up, and this time actually completed herself with clarity.

"I have came to the conclusion that our dear friend has a Split Personality disorder. Doctor, she was speaking from two different point of views. With two different...well...personalities. It was as if there were two completely different ponies talking to us, and they were....in love. Pinkie thought she was getting married to another pony by the name of Pinkamena. Doctor.....That is Pinkie Pie's real name. Her birth name is Pinkamena. So why....why would Pinkie fall in love with herself?"

Twilight finally took a breath, and stared back at the doctor with wide purple eyes. Concern was flustered upon all of the mares faces, and they waited contently for an answer. They waited for the doctor to say something. They wanted a cure!

"Hm..." The doctor looked back down at Pinkie. He put one hoof upon her forehead, and narrowed his eyelids slightly. 

"What is it?" Rainbow Dash moved closer revealing the timid yellow pony from her hiding spot.

"There is really nothing I can do." The doctor backed away from the bed which Pinkie lie, and the five mares eyes widened with horror.

"What do you mean?" They all said in unison.

"The only way to cure her from this is for her to forget that there ever was a Pinkamena. And according to the story you told me on your arrival, she had already agreed to forgetting about it, correct?" He leaned in for a response. 

Twilight nodded her head first, and was then followed by the other four heads.

"Then there is nothing more I can do. She is to rest, and hopefully when she wakes up she won't remember anything. Just keep her away from seeing this scar." He directed a hoof towards the words carved into her stomach. 

"How are we going to do that?" Rainbow Dash threw her forearms in the air with frustration. The brown stallion looked at her with uneasy eyes, and then turned away.

"Keep something covered over it. I don't know. You're to take care of her until she is completely healed. Do you understand?" The doctor directed his words towards all five mares. Slowly, but surely they all agreed.

Twilight stood up tall, and straight with utter confidence in herself, and her friends capabilities. 

"Don't worry, we will."





A painful memory flashed before Pinkie. She curled to the ground while her head surged with pain. How did she remember that? Wasn't she asleep the whole time? When was that? What were they even talking about? What scar?

Pinkie looked down to herself. Her body had been dressed for three months with the same thing. She wasn't exactly sure how it got there, but she never really questioned it. She had thought maybe it was from Rarity, or somepony. She never took it off because she didn't have the energy to do so, but now that she thought about it, she had been feeling a rough feeling against her stomach.

She reached down to the shirt that was covering her front body. Energy, or not she lifted it off over her head. And to her surprise she saw a brown, and reddish scar on her stomach. It almost covered her whole underside. She brushed her hoof against it, but it didn't hurt. How long had this been there? What did it even say? How did it even get there?

Pinkie struggled to read it from upside down, but as she glanced in the mirror she now knew what it said.

Pinkamena Loves You.

Pinkie stared in utter shock. What was happening? Had this been here the whole time? All those months being stored away in her room, and she never bothered to take off that shirt, and look?

What is wrong with me? Why have I been acting this way? Why won't I leave? Why do I feel like this? What is missing?

Pinkie could feel another painful jolt through her head, and it dashed through her entire body. She was slowly losing her vision. She was slowly losing consciousness. Everything was starting to fade away. Everything was blurred.

Pinkamena....Pinkamena.....Pinkamena....Who are you Pinkamena?

I finally forced my way through. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that I finally did it. After all this time! She finally had a weak point, and I could finally take it to my advantage. She was beginning to remember me. She was starting to open her eyes once again. She was so close to realizing her past with me, and I couldn't have it.

I wasn't going to let her remember. I wasn't going to let her open up. I wasn't going to give her the chance to realize it again. I wasn't going to risk Pinkie's sanity again. I wasn't going to risk all those damned things to happen to her again. Not again! This time I was going to put a stop to it! This time I was going to do what needed to be done! This time I was taking Pinkie Pie away from this horrid place, with all of these horrid ponies. This time would be the last time we would have to suffer ever again.

I looked to the window in Pinkie's bedroom. A feeling deep within filled me up with courage. It made me remember that I was doing this for Pinkie. That together we would be happy. I was doing this for our love!

I moved closer to the window, and as I finally reached it I opened up the notch. A cool breeze blew in, and swayed through our mane. It felt so nice against our skin. And it felt so good to us. To us.

I took a deep breath, and before I could even stop myself...I jumped.

I leaped out of the second story window. It felt like a long fall. It felt like it was taking forever. It felt as if I would never reach the ground, but surely we did.

I could feel our neck crack as it made contact with the hard ground. I could feel our pain surging deep within our body. But I could also feel our heart stopping. 

There our body lie. Our body. 

I knew that soon somepony would find us. It wouldn't take long before somepony would walk by our body. And maybe just maybe they would know that it was both of ours. Both of ours.

Darkness is all I can see. I feel nothing but coldness down my spine, and every once, and a while I will have a sudden jolt inside my chest. 

I finally understand what this feeling is. It's called love.


The End