I'm not that old, really. My mane and tail haven't even turned grey yet. Now, because of the actions of a pony I've never met, they won't ever get the chance to.
Right now, I'm in an unfamiliar bed, but even so it feels quite comfortable. I'm relaxed and safe, but I think that's because of the pony laying next to me. It's been over twenty years since I met her, and along with her there are a lot of ponies in the room with me. They're all really nervous and scared. But I'm okay, because she is here. My name is Twilight Sparkle. I am the Archmage of Equestria, the youngest ever at forty five years old, and right now, I'm laying on my deathbed. But that's okay. As long as Luna is here, I'll be okay.
[Date: March 24th, Year 1795 of the Equestrian Era]
[Location: Royal Infirmary]
[Condition: Stable]
Upon awakening, I kept my eyes closed as I lay on my back on the linen sheets. Despite the circumstances of my arrival to this building, I was in relative comfort. Sure, my limbs were stiff as hell and ached like they were suffering from mild burns every time I took a breath, but my stomach and right side were pressed up against another's form, and I relished in the feeling of her fur. This pony's coat was different than most. Instead of being warm to the touch, it cooled my skin, soothing and wiping away the aches, and gave my head the perfect place to rest. Just the fact that she was here, laying on the bed next to me with her neck under my head, gave me a sense of security no amount of Royal Guards achieve.
A starry, blue mane, both ethereal and corporeal, shiny and matte, was pressed between my right cheek and her collarbone. It was unbelievably soft and frosty, and I nuzzled into it, wanting everything I touched from now on to be exactly like this mane. The plush wing and foreleg draped across my front added to the sense of tainted bliss. I brought my foreleg up to my chest, where the edge of her hoof was holding me against her underside, and simply lay it over her's. I wanted to make sure that it stayed there.
"How are you feeling?" A quiet voice spoke up from the corner of the room, and I opened my eyes to see an uncharacteristically untidy Celestia sitting on a large cushion, gently smiling at me with saddened, sunken eyes. Her ever-flowing, warm mane had lost some of it's luster in the recent days, the twinkling quality it always held diminished with her stress. Her alabaster coat also appeared not to have been groomed in some time, and it stuck out in places like her chin and ribs, places where her hooves had touched with consistency.
I returned her soft smile with my own, even though seeing her like this made my heart ache worse my body. I knew that there was no way she had allowed herself sleep since the night before I was attacked. That would make today her fourth morning of consciousness.
I kept my voice low to avoid waking the others. Residing within the room were nine ponies and a dragon, scattered throughout the small area and resting on either the chairs, the bed, a cushion or the floor. Eight of the ten occupants currently asleep. "Better, I suppose," My throat was dry, my voice rugged. "The pain is starting to numb, but I feel really..." I honestly didn't know how to phrase the way I felt. It was as though my very bones were turning to ice, the joints becoming solid, and every time I shifted slightly the ice cracked and creaked. It was an extremely vexatious and unsettling sensation, and it was gnawing at the back of my mind. Something told me that I had once experienced this feeling, in a memory of years past. "Brittle." I finished my sentence. The word fit like a puzzle piece, snug in its description of me.
The impervious mask of composure the Solar Princess normally adorned was gone entirely. Her emotions surfaced in the subtle movements of her flawless features, from the shallow, rapid clenching of her jaw to the fraction of an inch her shoulders fell at my words. Anyone that hadn't spent the majority of their lives around her wouldn't have noticed, but she may as well have held up a neon sign for me.
She rose, her hooffalls making soft taps on the stone floor as she made her way towards me, sidestepping the purple dragon that dominated the area around the foot of the bed. As she made the short trek, her eyes moved up and down my body, resting on my bandaged horn upon her arrival to the bed. She stood to the right of the mattress, so that I would not have to move to keep her in sight, and so I could keep my lush pillow and blanket in place. She didn't say anything, but continued to gaze above my head with a look of sorrow.
"Do they know what it was, yet?" I questioned after a moment. Her mild, purple eyes found mine, and the misery held in them froze my heart into a solid chunk of ice.
Doing nothing but keeping her eyes locked with mine, I had a feeling that Celestia really didn't see anything, so consumed in her own thoughts as she was at the moment. It was this way for a long minute, her revelry breaking without warning and the sadness in her expression redoubling. "They think," She started with a croak. Another uncharacteristic trait on display. She cleared her throat and began again. "They think it was a modified form of the Osmose spell. The caster imbibed the life force of a Basilisk, then weaponized it against you."
At the creature's name, the feeling at the back of my mind sparked, fully realizing life and taking form. That's where this feeling of icy immobility came from. A Basilisk.
Celestia continued slowly, her words a whisper and her eyes watery. "I have experience with spells such as this. The concentrated life force of the creature enters your mind directly, due to the contact of your horns, and roots itself deeply, spreading and growing like a fire from there."
I knew as she spoke that her words were true. The burn from the quickly-expended magic on my horn throbbed slightly at the mention of the spell, as did the solidifying feeling in my tendons and bones. A sort of numbness crashed through me as I watched my former Mentor's eyes glaze over with tears. I knew her next words, even if she couldn't find the will to speak them in their entirety.
"Twilight, they... I..."
It was like somepony had just clapped the world’s largest cymbals next to my ears, as they filled with a deafening ringing noise. A few days ago, the doctor’s outlook had been hopeful. Now... I felt my mind freeze over with the same sheet of ice that had claimed my body at the thought of where I would be in a few days.
It was all I could do to nod once, making my neck feel fractured, before I felt my eyes burning.
The alicorn lent forward, quickly embracing me and pressing her head to my neck, whether to comfort me or her, I didn't know. I ignored the cracks and splinters of ice as I mirrored her movement with my own. Some part of my mind that was not ringing with cold shock registered the contrasting heat of her fur to her sister's, and I used this as a distraction to escape from the world. My mind shut down everything not connected to the feeling of the night-and-day difference in their bodies, and I remembered how comfortable I was before this.
Sleep took me in seconds, and I dreamed of the last time such a feeling had been the only thing that I was able to focus on.
I dreamed of the Summer Solstice of twenty three years ago.
[Date: June 22nd, Year 1772 of the Equestrian Era]
[Location: Somewhere inside the Royal maze]
[Condition: Incredibly frustrated]
I kicked a wall as hard as I could. Nothing happened, of course. My hind hooves went through the plants, but no damage was done to the gargantuan slab of foliage. A not-so-light blast of electrical, purple energy had the same effect - that is, none. The green walls of the massive hedge that surrounded and encased me served as my jailer, my captor, seemingly for the rest of the night.
Unacceptable.
I would have thought that all of Discord’s sorcery had vanished when he was imprisoned for the second time, but this maze was still under his influence. It had to be. Otherwise, there was no BUCKING way I could have gotten lost in here for what had to be hours! And why, for the love of all that was holy, WHY did I think it would be a good idea to take a “little stroll” around the Royal Maze in the middle of the night?!
I forced myself to freeze in place, closing my eyes and breathing deeply, in through my nose, out through my mouth, using the simple technique Celestia had shown me. Calm down, I thought. Stop. Observe. Plan. Act.
I allowed myself sight once more, this time casting a fresh eye upon the plants. So far, I had tried three methods of escape - taking all left turns, keeping a shoulder to the right wall, and aimlessly wandering - all with the same level of success. Well, there was the kicking and blasting plan, too, but that was really just a way to vent.
The problem here was that the maze actually was enchanted, if not by Discord, then by my teacher. I could sense, almost feel a spark of magic running through the walls, and no matter how many left turns I made, I never hit a dead end, meaning the walls could and were re-arranging themselves at will. In all honesty, this had ceased to be a maze. This had become a riddle, a test of ingenuity and cleverness.
I had thought about trying to summon wings to simply fly out, but the spell was very, very complicated and draining. And Celestia forbid something goes wrong during the transformation process. Back in Celestia’s School, I had heard horror stories of self-transformation accidents - Horns going where horns were never meant to go, to name one little gem that decided to cross my mind just then. Self-levitation was impossible, as a magical barrier had been placed over the top of the maze, and my spell’s aura sparked and died as soon as it rose over the top of the hedge.
Teleportation was also off the table; I had not the start of an idea of where I was in the maze, and trying to “zap”, as most non-horned ponies called it, to a place of unknown distance and direction was extremely inadvisable. I could end up inside of a wall, or in two different locations at once. Of course, I could have sent up a flare or signaled for help at any time, but that would have been admitting defeat. Plus, how embarrassing would it be to find the Princess’ personal protege stuck in a maze? It was looking as though I would have to play the maze’s game.
My options were very limited, and I was fast running out of ideas and patience. I stopped pacing (Not that I realized that I ever started), instead sitting back on my haunches, rubbing my temples with my forehooves and trying to conjure a solution from the myriad of worries and doubts that constituted my brain right now. I could feel a little idea try to wriggle through the mire, like an earthworm through mud, but no matter how hard it struggled, the mud just kept piling on top of it and pulling it down into the muck.
My teeth clenched and ground audibly, and I felt warmer by the second. I could feel my heart hammering at my chest, creating a tightness in my upper body, and my breathing slowly climbed in frequency. This was the most infuriating thing I had ever encountered, even topping the fiasco with Pinkie’s “Pinkie Sense” last year. How in Tartarus was I supposed to solve a maze when it could change the layout of itself at will?
The earthworm of an idea in my mind found a little ray of daylight under the tons of mud. There was a simple algorithm (Tremare’s, I believe it was called) that consisted of drawing lines at intersections and following and marking the paths you take. It would be lengthy, and contained more trial-and-error steps then I would have liked, but I was getting desperate. The sun rose in about three hours, and there was no way I could miss the Celebration for anything. Personal pride intact or not, I was getting out of this Alicorn-forsaken maze tonight.
Now, seeing as the walls could move, simply drawing a four-point star at junctions and marking the direction I took would be insufficient. I would have to mark the path I walked as well, to make sure I knew when I was moving in circles or when the layout had changed. For this, I sent my horn aglow, gathering the energy I was emitting and sending it to the bottom of my hooves. They tingled with a rather intense heat, but it was far from unpleasant. I lifted one of my legs up, looking down to see a translucent, lavender hoofprint that twinkled with magic.
Pleased with myself at my idea, I set off down a random pathway. I spent about an hour wandering, but now, it was with a plan and hope in my mind. Whenever I came to a junction where hoofprints already led down the paths, I took the least-traveled one, and soon started to sense progress. There wasn't any physical sign that I was getting closer to an exit, but I could feel the magic of dozens of Unicorns that had gathered for the Celebration not far away.
I zeroed in on the magic’s direction, and I was positive I had plenty of time to spare. I would have looked at the moon for confirmation, but tonight’s was a New Moon. I gave myself an internal pat on the back and grinned as I rounded a corner. The ponies should be right on the other side of this wall, and there was a gap not ten feet away. But something was off; There was absolutely no sound anywhere, except for the light breeze blowing overhead.
As I reached the gap, I noticed why. There wasn’t a single pony in the boxed clearing, and this wasn’t an exit - I had reached the center of the maze.
Before I could explode with fury, my brain nudged my towards something odd; If there was nopony in the clearing, then why could I sense what had to be thirty Unicorns’ worth of magical energy in here?
Stepping into the center, I cast my head to the right, where the magic seemed to be radiating out from, and immediately found my answer. Sitting with her back almost touching the wall, head skywards and eyes closed, was Princess Luna.
She was different then the last time I had seen her. Gone was the monocolored, ice blue mane. Floating in the solar wind, just like her sister’s did, a midnight, starry mane hung around her head and flank. It looked as though the stars themselves shone within. Her coat also looked a few shades darker, but even so, it sparkled like every fiber of hair was woven by silky diamonds. There was no denying that she was the night itself.
Luna was stock still, the only part of her that moved being her mane. That made two of us. I felt as rooted to the ground as a tree, and my mane flapped with the wind along my neck.
Suddenly, the quiet breeze shifted, blowing from my right and towards the Lunar Princess. I didn’t react, though, even as my mane tickled my cheeks and obscured some of my vision. I didn’t really do anything except continue to stare at her, watching her mane dance and flap across her withers, roving the perfection she was in the moonlight and seeing her in her proper place as the Goddess of the Moon.
Her eyes twitched slightly, and her head snapped towards me in a flash. Her eyes snapped onto mine, immobilizing every aspect of my body and mind, and a hard edge was present the cyan orbs, like I had caught her doing something private. They softened quickly, though, and a hint of a smile pulled at her lips.
“Twilight Sparkle.” It wasn’t a challenge, or a greeting, or anything other than an announcement of my presence.
She stood, and hundreds of thoughts, from incarceration on a celestial orb, to a slow and agonizing death for interrupting a Princess in something crashed into me. I stumbled backwards as she lowered her head in what I thought was a charge, and just before I snapped into a deep bow to beg for forgiveness, she froze. Her forelegs were forward and locked, her head low and eyes shut. Her hind legs still had their hooves on the ground, and the necklace-like peytral that was emblazoned with the moon of her cutie mark, one of the symbols of her royalty, threatened to touch the floor of the maze.
Princess Luna... was bowing to me.
I imagine my face must have looked similar to the first time I had met Rainbow Dash, when she fulfilled her promise of clearing the sky. When Luna stood after a few seconds, her face brightened considerably at the sight of mine, and the ghost of a smile she showed before fully materialized on her lips.
It was like the alicorn had shoved a steel wrench into my cognitive processes. I felt the gears straining against it, trying to come to any conclusion that made sense, but that bar was unbreakable. After a few seconds of have my brain fry over a hot stove of dumbfoundment, all I could do was just shake my head and sputter incoherently.
“Wha-what? Why...?”
Her smile died slightly, but it was still plain to see. “You saved our life, Twilight Sparkle. Rescued us from our own creation of misery.” She shook her head softly. “We owe you a debt that is doubtful to ever be repaid. Think not that you need ever to bow or defer to us.”
I pulled my head back slightly at her misinterpretation of the night, two years ago to the day, where my friends and I had freed her from Nightmare Moon’s grasp. It was a team effort, not just me...
“I couldn’t have done that alone, my friends are equally responsible...” I explained as my cheeks grew hotter, slightly embarrassed.
Her brows arched slightly, but not in a condescending way. More like... surprise. “Though we were imprisoned in the deformed, twisted version of our own body, we could still observe the world as it transpired around us.” She sat back before continuing, but her eyes never broke away from mine. For the first time, I noticed the strange cadence of language she was using. It sounded ancient. “It was you who faced us in singular combat in the tower, and no soul excepting you could have realized and harnessed the full power of the Elements of Harmony.”
Her words brought an even greater blush to me, and I pawed at the ground as I looked away. “I think you’re looking a little too closely at me. I’m not as special as you’re making me out to be.”
“We do not believe for a moment that you are anything less the the most powerful Unicorn in Equestria.” She paused, then motioned to her side, as we were standing at a considerable distance and our voices were much louder than they needed to be. “Come, sit with us. We would greatly enjoy your company.”
Something fluttered down in my stomach at the idea of being so close to her. I swallowed and nodded as I started forward. Even though the trepidation I felt grew stronger and stronger the closer my hooves took me, I never once thought about stopping. Something about her eyes - the unexpressed feelings held there, the way they never wavered from me - pulled me forward.
It only took a second to reach her. I sat to her left, about a foot away, and immediately noticed another change since our first meeting; She had gotten a bit taller as well, her nose about level with the base of my horn. She flashed me a quick smile before resuming her original position, turning her head skywards, and I followed suit. The stars were a welcomed sight for me anyway, and I enjoyed their company.
“So, what are you doing out here, Princess?” I asked as I scanned the summer sky for the familiar shapes of the constellations. The little orbs of light were truly shining this morning, glimmering and dancing across the deep blue of the sky and casting their soft light on the world.
“We are simply sharing the company of the stars. It is one of the ways we often retreat and reflect on the world around us.”
“Out in the center of an enchanted maze? How did you even make it here without getting stuck?” I asked with a slight grin and raised brow.
Massive wings slowly grew from her side, extending to their full length of twelve feet in a few seconds. As the tips of her silky feathers glided over my back, I felt a small shiver run across my skin. The area where the wing had brushed over felt hotter than the rest of my body, which is saying something, seeing as my cheeks must have been crimson.
“Being an alicorn does have its advantages.” She grinned slightly, almost like she knew about my reaction even though she was not looking at me.
“As for your original question,” She began as she folded her wings (I bit the inside of my cheek to repress a shudder as the light scrapes of feathers heated my back again), “From here the lights of the capitol are far away, and it allows for an unobstructed view of the night sky. We find it a shame that, with such focus on Equestria’s expansion across land, ponies forget the pleasures the sky can bring them. What about you, Miss Sparkle? What brings you here on the morning of my sister’s Summer Sun Celebration? Should you not be with the partygoers and your friends?”
“Please, Princess. It’s just ‘Twilight’, if you don’t mind.” I wanted to stop this before it started to become a habit. It was bad enough when Celestia used my full name, but it was just unnatural when Luna did it.
“We propose a trade, then. We will cease the pronunciation of your surname, and you will not refer to us by our title as Princess.” She turned to me slightly, just enough to make eye contact. “Deal?” I gladly nodded, reciprocating the smirk she was giving me. She seemed satisfied, then turned back to her creations.
“Anyway,” I restarted, answering her inquiry. “I was at the Dawn Party a few hours ago, before wandering into this ridiculous maze.”
She laughed ever so slightly, and though the wind was against us and snatched some of the sound away, the sound rang and bounced in my ears. I immediately wanted to hear her laugh again. “Yes, this stands as yet another practical joke of our sister’s. Even when we were foals, there was hardly a day that went by where you needn't watch your back for her tricks. We must comment on the remarkable change in reception they now receive, however.”
Her last observation made me frown, and I turned to her before asking an explanation. “One thousand years ago, Twilight, society was much more... uptight.” The use of the modern word seemed alien to her, but it still showed her progress with the changed times. I could only imagine what she had been like after first returning. “Ponies did not take well to my sister’s tomfoolery.” A rueful smile took hold of her features. “We find it rather ironic, that society’s attitude would brighten with the banishment of the Goddess of the Night.”
Her words pained me unbelievably. It must have shone as plain as the sun on my face, for her sad smile deepened when she turned to me. Her jaw clenched, and for the first time, her eyes dropped to the ground as she looked away. There was only the wind to fill the silence that had taken hold of us for a few moments.
“We apologize,” She turned her head up again, closing her eyes and taking a deep breathe. “Our words did not carry harmful intentions with them.”
I shook my head even though she couldn’t see me. “It wasn’t your fault, Luna.” It was really the only thing I could think to say, even though she’d probably heard it more times than I’d like to know.
Again, a smile crossed her lips. She looked like she was fighting to keep it on, as if it somehow masked all of her other emotions. It was the same smile her sister often wore. “We are past the need for comfort, Twilight. What is done, is done. We have come to terms with it, and it will forever remain in our past.” Her cyan eyes found mine again. “Thanks to you.”
The third blush of the night crept onto my cheeks, but even through the mild embarrassment, our eyes stayed locked. “You don’t have to thank me, you know.”
“We do not believe this. Your’s is a favor we will never be capable of expressing enough gratitude for.” Her eyes flickered, and her head cocked almost imperceptibly. “Though perhaps this morning will relieve some of our debt.”
With those cryptic words and a knowing smile, she put me slightly off guard. “This morning?” I asked quizzically.
Her smile brightened by a few levels as she turned away from me. “Let us simply state that this year’s Summer Sun Celebration will be... different, than in years past. We will elaborate no more.” She added, quickly cutting off the stream of questions starting to flow from me. “Speaking of this morning...” Her horn glowed with an azure aura as she looked off to the left, above my head. “There is only about an hour’s time until the sun is scheduled to rise. If you wish to be present for the ceremony, you’d best make haste with your departure.”
That sent me scrambling through my mind for an answer to the question posed by the maze; How in the world do I escape?
Luna seemed to sense my agitation, because she moved to the wall behind us, her horn contacting the tall hedge as it poured with energy. “We will negate our sister’s spell until you can locate an exit. Simply ignite red sparks over the maze to signal when you have rejoined the group.”
I beamed at her gesture; She literally just saved me from a disaster that I would never recover from. As I trotted to the other end of the clearing, Luna called out to me.
“Twilight!” I turned, and for the second-to-last time that day, our eyes met; Cyan and violet, neither backing away or averting. For the first time, she sounded hesitant in her words. “We just wanted to tell you... This morning belongs to you alone.”
I nodded, continuing out of the maze. Her eyes were the last thing I saw as I rounded a corner and left the clearing behind.
With the enchantment from my teacher removed, I knew that the most basic technique would allow me to solve the maze. I kept my shoulder to the left wall, and sure enough, I found my way to the Dawn Party in the courtyard of the castle, just as the a golden glow was forming at the horizon of the east. Red sparks ignited from my horn, and I sent them hundreds of feet into the air to make sure Luna saw them.
My friends greeted my enthusiastically, asking where I was and why I left as we trekked to the front of the grounds, where the ceremony was taking place. Rarity complimented me on my hoofprints, seeing as they were still glowing with faint magic, and told me how they were actually quite pretty, even as I banished the spell with a wave of my horn. There was a stage set up, raised about my height off of the ground, with the usual sun emblem raised in the back, but there were, as I noticed, a few tweaks to the floor of the stage. Where in the past, a single raised section of the stage sat centered for Celestia to stand on, there were now two daises on either side of the golden sun symbol. I remembered what Luna had said about this year’s Celebration being different, and my curiosity at her words peaked.
It was a short wait from our arrival to the stage. Behind us, a throng of hundreds had gathered in anticipation, and every single one erupted into cheers as Princess Celestia, wings thrown out wide, ascended onto the stage from behind. At the sight of Princess Luna, whose wings were also extended, following from behind, however, the chorus of cheers died down significantly, and there was a general murmur from the group as we all wondered the same thing; What was going on?
The Princess’ nodded to each other as they stood on a dais each, with Celestia on the left and Luna on the right. Their horns glowed simultaneously, and the aura of the sunrise changed. Now, as the sisters rose into the air with synchronized beats of their wings, the golden-red color of the dawn adapted a deep, rusty hue as the moon rose in front of the sun. As the orbs grew higher in the sky, the colors of the clouds in the sky shimmered constantly, glowing crimson, violet, and every color in between.
Both Princess' seemed to reach the height of their climb as they past the top of the spire, and both threw their forelegs towards the sky in harmony. The eclipse reached the center of the sun emblem, and suddenly, the sky was white, brilliant and shining, and the iridescent colors created by the sisters lit up everything around me. It was as though tendrils of pure, silken rainbow wafted with the breeze, absorbed into everything that reflected light, and the raised sun emblem on the stage shimmered like water with blues and reds and golds, its opalescence framing the burning white of the sun and moon in a halo of color.
“This morning belongs to you alone.”
I don’t think I've cried harder since the events of that morning. I still think on it, from time to time, and the more I do, the more it becomes clear that I am now the one in debt.
[Date: March 26th, Year 1795 of the Equestrian Era]
[Location: Royal Infirmary]
[Condition: Rapidly declining]
I trembled against the body next to me, holding her close and pressing our coats together as my legs twitched with cold. She felt warm, now, for the first time in twenty three years. I couldn’t really make up my mind on whether that was a comfort or a curse.
The shivers had started yesterday morning, but they weren't nearly as bad as they were right now. They came and went in bouts of cold, but at first, all I had to do to keep them in check was ask for a blanket. Now, even three couldn’t keep the attacks at bay. They seemed to take my body by siege, and all defenses crumbled to them.
My veins ran with the arctic waters, my bones were forged from the inside of a glacier, and my mind was assaulted with lunar winds. My breathing was uneven and disjointed as I fought the cold, telling myself that, if Luna could face the moon for one thousand years, then I could deal with this for a few minutes, but I was in a losing fight. I bucked and jerked occasionally with the mind-shattering cold, and with every contraction of my muscles, my will to fight eroded.
I lay across her chest, my nose buried in the crook of her neck with my forelegs around her shoulders and the back of her head. Her forelegs were wrapped tightly around me, with her chin on my right shoulder. Even though she was here, the only thing I really wanted to do was pass out. I just wanted her to touch our horns together, to let her take me away to her realm, the land of dreams, and be with her there. I opened my mouth to try and say this, but as I went to speak, a powerful shudder rocketed through my muscles, and I choked on my words. I coughed, mercilessly and violently into the pillow below her as my body continued to spasm. I felt her forelegs tighten around me.
I just wanted it to stop. The cough, the shudders, the pain, for somepony to just end it. Whatever waited for me after this, it wouldn’t be as bad as having every single one of my friends in the room, watching me convulse and sputter pathetically on a hospital bed. For me to die right now would be a blessing.
They stopped. My body settled down, the wave of frigid cold passing by me, leaving behind only the thick sheets of arctic ice that covered my bones. A thousand pounds of dead weight seemed to settle on me, and I could think straight again, though how I was supposed to focus on anything other than what had just happened was beyond me.
I completely lost it. Any semblance of composure I had held onto until that attack had shattered, and I sobbed uncontrollably into the fur of her throat and jaw. Instead of cold shivers, my body now shook with whimpers and cries, and I felt the nape of my neck heat up as her own tears ran down her cheeks. I heard the door open and shut multiple times as ponies left the room, whether disgusted or pained or startled by me, I didn’t know. Through my breakdown, I prayed to a god I didn’t believe in for death.
Luna’s leg rubbed my withers, down to my tailbone, then back up. She didn’t try to shush me, or calm me down, or do anything other than cry with me. She made sure that I knew she was here, and that I wasn’t alone. Eventually, that’s all I needed.
My breathing slowed down, interrupted only by the occasional hiccup or sniffle. Luna’s foreleg still massaged my back, and I was oh-so tempted to continue to lie there, basking in the vehemenistic warmth she gave off. Sleep pulled at my eyelids, exhausted as I was from earlier. Her new-found heat was definitely a comfort, I thought, even as I released her upper body from my grasp and pushed myself onto my front hooves. This was not as easy as it sounds, however. I didn’t just move my legs and get up; It felt like my forelegs had been tied down with boulders, and my torso might as well have been made out of lead.
I struggled to push myself up, feeling like my legs would snap in half any moment and crumble into icy crystals, but I inched upwards, knees shuddering under the strain. Luna tried her best to help, keeping her chest close to mine and her hooves hovering over my shoulders in case I fell, but let me handle my own weight; She knew it was a pride thing, even if she disagreed with it. If she had her way, the only thing I would be doing would be staying wrapped up tightly in her embrace.
I locked my knees as I completed my task, and some small portion of me filled with pride. Most of me, however, thought that the only thing I had really accomplished was a menial task even a foal could do in a shorter amount of time. I was breathing heavily from the effort, and the pain in my limbs told me that my victory would not be enjoyed for much longer.
I let out a sigh, then rolled to the right, letting my body fall limply back onto the bed. My body objected to that, and it felt like I was being ripped into two, but I ignored it as best I could as I looked on at the ponies still left in the room. I blinked sleep from my eyes and pushed myself up slightly, so my head was raised.
There was my dad, in a chair towards the center of the wall opposite the bed, his head bowed and lips moving in silent prayer. He had always been a religious pony; Why would he abandon faith now? Spike sat next to him, one clawed arm around the back of the Unicorn’s neck. His two-toned head was also lowered, but I wasn’t sure if he was praying alongside my father or just listening. I had never known the dragon to be one for prayer, but I’d seen ponies turn to crazier things in times like these.
Celestia was still on her cushion, though she looked marginally better than she did two days ago after we all convinced her (with extreme difficulty) to get some sleep and freshen up. Her coat was shinier, her mane glossier, and she resembled the Princess that had ruled Equestria our entire lives. But that was just her physical appearance. Her eyes, the way they were red and puffy, the emotions held in them... they showed her true state.
Rainbow was the only one of my friends still in the room, curled up on the same chair she had been in since the day after I was attacked. I knew better than to ask her why she hadn’t left with the others; I had asked the same thing last night, after the first bad attack, and her response had almost brought tears to me. “What if that had been it, huh? What if you had... I’m not going to leave you, Egghead. Not a chance.”
Then there was Luna, laying to my right, like she had been since day one. She had already replaced her foreleg and wing across me, and her warmth seeped into me, filling and comforting me. I looked to her despite the searing pain in my muscles, met her eyes, and they scared me worse than anything in the world. There was... nothing. No happiness, no emotion. The cyan that normally sparkled and sang with passion whenever she saw me was replaced with a dead emptiness. It looked like she had detached herself from the world, in order to spare herself from the pain I was bringing her.
If I hadn’t been so drained from crying a few minutes ago, I think I would have now.
I lightly pushed against her nose with mine, and some traitorous part of my brain found it funny that I was comforting her, not the other way around. A tiny smile formed on her lips, but it was an odd one, like she had forgotten exactly what a smile is supposed to look like. She nuzzled against me, and right after I felt an odd warmth on my cheek. Then again, a little closer to my throat. The wet warmth continued to move down my neck, across my shoulder... Luna was grooming me.
That was the last straw. I caved in to the exhaustion, letting the relaxing feeling of her tongue moving across my fur carry me away to dream of a happier time, and hoping that maybe, when... if I woke up, it would be in a place like that.
[Date: August 8th, Year 1773 of the Equestrian Era]
[Location: Mareami Beach]
[Condition: At Peace]
We walked along the sands of the beach, basking in the final hour of golden sunshine of the day. The little granules underhoof were still warm from the summer’s day, and their parting softness brought a smile to me.
She stayed on my left, letting me feel the heat from the sun while covering my flank with her wing. The soft feathers seemed to curl and contour to match my body perfectly, and that let their coolness become even more pleasant. I had my head tilted so that it rested on her shoulder, and I closed my eyes as I let her become all that I could feel in the world.
We walked along for a few minutes, her guiding me along in silence, simply enjoying the other’s company. The sound of the crashing waves was calming, and the occasional seagull flapped overhead. If every second of every day felt like this, I could die happy.
I felt her slow down, her gait eventually bringing us both to a stop. I looked to her, and she smiled serenely while slowly dropping to all fours, motioning for me to do the same. I complied, settling my head on my hooves, facing the sunset, and felt her head rest on my withers. Her body was just behind mine, and I could feel the beating of her heart through her chest as it pressed against me.
The sand was almost as soft as a cloud, something that I could attest to, thanks to Rainbow. It was much warmer, however, and for that I greatly preferred it. I let out a small sigh as I observed the setting sun, admiring its sweeping colors and rosy hues, drinking it all in.
I could feel Luna’s breathing slowing down, becoming more even as she slowly fell asleep, but who could blame her? We had spent almost all of yesterday running around the castle, trying to chase down books that were running through the halls after Celestia made almost half the library grow legs. I turned slightly to look at her, finding her already snoozing, and figured that she’d earned a nap... as long as she didn’t start snoring, I thought with a chuckle.
The ocean’s waves sparkled with sunshine, the blue water turning to a brilliant orange at the sunset. A few clouds hung around the setting star, and the darker shades they wore contrasted beautifully with the lighter, warmer colors of the sky.
With Luna sleeping next to me, seeing how peaceful she was, I thought that taking a nap of my own wouldn’t be such a bad idea. I reset myself so that I was more comfortable, making sure not to jar Luna awake while doing so. I set my head down on my hooves again, gazing out towards the west, and let out a deep breath.
A few blinks later, and the sun suddenly teleported quite a ways down in the sky, deepening in color as it did so. The clouds also changed completely, spreading further apart in the sky. I huffed at myself for missing out on such a beautiful sight, even though I did feel much better with some sleep. I had been out out about half an hour, judging by the sun’s position, and there was only about half of that time left until it set completely. I smiled contently at the scene, closing my eyes again, and let all tension and worry drip away into the sands below with a deep sigh. This was perfect. This was Heaven.
Not long afterwards, I felt Luna start to come back to the world. Even the Shepherd of Dreams couldn’t stay asleep forever, it seemed. She stayed still for a moment, then I could feel her head turn towards me. I felt her gaze on me, and it seemed to send a current through me, making my heart buzz with excitement. On top of the already-warm sun and sand, my chest and stomach grew hotter the longer she stared. After a long while, I had endured too much; I felt like I was going to melt into putty if she continued.
“I would have thought that a Princess knew how impolite it was to stare.” I thanked Celestia for not letting my voice crack. Even so, I couldn’t help but let a small grin escape onto my lips. She caught on immediately, and wouldn’t even pretend to let me have the upper hoof for just a moment.
The current under my skin tingled and my fur stood on end as she gave a soft huff. She knew I was only joking, but she went for the throat anyway. “I would apologise, but you know that I can’t help myself.”
My heart jumped a little in my chest, and my ears reflexively flattened in embarrassment. As if my face weren’t already warm enough, a blush graced my cheeks as my light grin became a grimace. Only a heartbeat went by before she relinquished. “What would you have me stare at, instead?”
I went to turn my head towards her as I opened my eyes, but the sight before me froze me in place and withered any snappy comeback I prepared.
There was no doubt that Celestia was responsible for the sunset. The way the clouds reflected the color of her eyes perfectly, the way the soft colors surrounding them flowed and accented the warm patches beautifully... It was a mirror image. Beauty and grace, with an underlying tone that made it a powerful sight. “The sunset is beautiful right now.” That did my teacher’s creation absolutely no justice, but it was really the only thing I could think to say.
I could almost sense Luna’s hesitation to looking at anything other than me, but she still raised her head from my withers and complied. The gulls and waves filled the air for a minute while we both looked on. “The sunset is lovely, you are right.” She paused momentarily, readying the killing blow. “I don’t think it’s a fair trade, though.”
There were few things at that moment that could have torn me away from the sunset, but her words succeeded where a Manticore might not have. My ears flattened again as I looked away, but I wouldn’t let that reaction last for long.
I forced myself to meet her eyes as I faced her, and the cool cyan captured me, drew me in, held my eyes in place and promised to never let go. The way she met my stare, her emotions burning into me with passion and intensity, spreading like wildfire to my body... There was no way to stop myself. I started to close the distance between us, tilting my head to the side as I did so. I saw her start to do the same, and I let my eyes close as we met in the middle.
Her cool lips sent my body haywire, every nerve humming with electricity. The buzz in my ribs spiked into my throat, and I forgot how to breathe through the contact.
We broke away after only a few seconds, and I let out a shaky breath before meeting her steadfast gaze again. There wasn’t a single thought on my concupiscent mind as I moved forward again, pressing against her snout and pushing forward. I felt a hoof coming to rest on my flank, starting to move slowly towards my underside. The movement against the grain of the fur sent sparks flying across my skin again, and I let out a tiny squeak as she hooked her right hoof around my abdomen, gently pulling me onto my back.
She gave me a quiet smirk as she pulled away from the kiss, like a predator who has their prey trapped and all but caught. The hoof on my belly continued upwards, brushing against my collarbone and neck before sliding up my leg, lightly pushing it back and onto the sand. The teasing speed only amplified the voltage under my body, and I was having difficulty keeping my breath steady.
As the tip of her hoof met mine, my leg was pressed firmly, but comfortably, into the warm sand, and she pressed our chests together before resuming the kiss. I let out another noise as she put some of her weight on me, letting her other foreleg trail its way across my right side and up my leg, ever so slowly, until both my front hooves were pinned beneath hers.
My heart was going insane, thundering against my ribs and replacing the roar of the surf that filled my ears with its own sound. Every point of contact between our bodies seemed to burn and smolder on me, and my lower body was no different, even before she swung her leg over it, positioning herself fully ontop of me. Our coats rubbed and sparked against one another, setting fire to me, from the outside of my hind legs, to the center of my stomach, and up to my forelegs. I couldn’t help but moan once more, completely under her control.
She broke the contact of our lips once again, pulling her head out of reach from my restrained body and forcing me to meet her eyes before she spoke. “You know you have to say it,” Her tone was as light and airy as she could make it, but I could hear the desire hidden behind it. Her body was just as hot as mine right now.
My voice came out as shaky and shuddering as my breaths, and I stuttered on the first word, something she was quick to remind me of. “I-I...” I couldn’t recover before she moved downwards, towards my neck, and trailed her tongue in a feather-light lick up to my jaw.
“Sorry, dear, I couldn’t really hear you.” She whispered into my ear, her warm breath almost making it flick in response.
“I love you, Luna!” I shot the words out as quickly as I could, before she could strike again, and after that, she broke me completely. She moved our lips together firmly, pressing down on me with her hips, and ecstasy crashed through me as the sun sank below the waves...
For the second time in as many hours, I blinked myself awake while laying on the sand. Stars and the low-hanging moon greeted me, but I really didn’t see them. Instead, I focused on the weight of the pony still partially on top of me, and the supreme comfort her body brought to me in my sleep-hazed state. Her chest was halfway atop mine, the other half lying in the sand beneath us, and her leg still somewhat covered mine, draped across my shoulder and up my foreleg. Her nose was pressed into the side of my neck, just below my jaw, and her warm, even breaths relaxed me into the makeshift bed.
The sand had lost some of its warmth, no longer reflecting the sun’s heat, but I didn’t mind at all; It matched her body.
I let my head roll back in the sand, looking up towards the sky and doing nothing but smile dreamily. My body still tingled with some electricity, but it was mild, and pleasant, and euphoric. The stars winked at me, like they knew what had happened below them, and I just sighed in response, content with their playfulness.
A few moments later, Luna pushed against my neck, nuzzling against the fur and tickling me slightly. We both raised our heads to find each other, still somewhat addled by sleep, but still tingling with the afterglow. She moved forward quickly, giving my nose an affectionate lick, and I laughed her off. She was reluctant to stop, and did the same thing on my cheek, then again on my chin, and again, going lower and becoming more tender every time. I lowered my head again as her tongue continued across my throat, and a few moments later, my eyes closed with sleep again.
[Date: March 29th, Year 1795 of the Equestrian Era]
[Location: Royal Infirmary]
[Condition: ...]
The window off to the right of the room was really the only thing I could see. It faced the east, where the moon had just started to rise from, and its fullness and white light drew my gaze. I couldn’t help but make the comparison between its surface and myself, even though I had no right to do so with Luna lying under me. Somepony had placed a bouquet of lilacs on the bedside table; That, or I was hallucinating smells. Then again, if I was to hallucinate a smell, lilacs would be my choice.
My head was pressed against her mane once more, but now I lay on my side, so that our bodies faced each other. My right foreleg was tucked underneath her neck, and my left stayed on her ribs, just above her wing. Our chests touched, our fur snug against each other’s and our hearts beat side by side. Her rhythmic pulsing was much quicker than mine, even though it was barely beating once a second, which should have scared me. Instead, I just felt hollow.
Her mythical hair, which had always served as a beacon of comfort, was now tainted and corrupted by my illness; It wasn’t a burning heat radiating against my body, but rather, it felt like Celestia’s coat used to, before my forty-fifth birthday party. That should have given me some peace of mind.
My body, on the other hoof, was burning with cold fire. If I were to be encased in ice a mile below the sea, I might feel warmer than I did right now. Every wheezing, shallow breath I took sent shards of ice driving into my flesh and split my sternum in half.
The door opened, the hinges squeaking slightly, then shut a moment after. I heard soft, slow hoofsteps approaching the bed from the left. Celestia just entered my field of vision, sitting next to the frame of the window. I didn’t have the strength or the will to turn my head to her, nor did I really care that she was there. Unless she was here to kill me, I wouldn’t spare the effort to look her in the eyes.
She sat, unmoving, for a few minutes, but if she was waiting for me to acknowledge her, Sol would burn out first. Eventually, she broke the complete silence of the room for a second time, now with a whisper.
“We’ve captured her. Your attacker.”
Silence returned. The significance of the information was lost on me; Who cared? Her imprisonment wouldn’t change anything.
Another minute passed by. The moon had fully entered the sky by now, and the light was brighter than I ever remembered it being. Not painful, but rather intense.
“I am going to execute her. Violently.”
Something about the tone of her voice roused me from my uncaring shell of ice. There was anger in there. Uncommon, but not unheard of, coming from her. Her voice shook slightly, probably from sadness. Again, it was rare, but the past week had shown me enough of it. The one emotion I caught that made me meet her gaze was desperation. Never, in any situation - not when the Changelings attacked, not with Discord’s rampage - never did I hear the tone of pleading from her words.
Looking to her, keeping my head still, I saw a tear fall to the floor. It took an age to hit the stone, catching the moonlight in its descent and shining lightly. The splash it made was audible, and it echoed in my thoughts for a moment.
From inside the frozen shell of what remained of me, I felt anger boiling away. I had a feeling that my gaze unnerved her slightly, the way her magenta orbs flickered between my violet ones, and for once I didn’t blame her; I poured as much venom and contempt into my expressionless face as possible. How dare she?
I almost didn’t recognize my own voice, raspy and weak as it was. My words came out low and gravelly, but I think I got the point across. “I spent my entire life trying to bring harmony into the world, to better it, brighten it, and you would use my death to justify murder?” My throat must have been bleeding as I finished, because every syllable tore it to shreds.
“I would rid the pestilent disease that is her life from this world.” Her retort came quick, delivered in a soft, yet dangerous voice. “I will not have her plagued existence continue.”
Celestia’s nostrils were flared, and her chest moved with heavy breaths. Were I younger, I would probably bow at her hooves and apologize profusely for upsetting her. Now, I struck back against her words with my own. “I will still be dead. You can’t change that.”
I watched as another unheard of emotion found it’s way onto her features; Exasperation. Her shoulders and head dropped as a loud sigh was let out through her nose. It took a minute for her to compose a response, and even then her voice was pained with impossible decisions as she rose to meet my eyes again. “What would you have me do then, Twilight? Just let her go?” It was obvious that seriousness was completely absent in her latter statement, the way her voice rose in pitch, but I held her stare as I responded.
“Yes.”
There was one part of my mind - that one niggling, seething area of my brain that never relented or shut up - that thought of my words as the Harmonic Light produced from the Elements. Celestia was as immovable as the stone prison Discord once inhabited. Even her mane seemed disheartened.
“Do you know what you are asking me to do, Twilight?” Slow, careful words. Insulting, is what they were. On death’s door I may have been, I was still the Archmage of Equestria, and I was NOT a simpleton, contrary to what she was implying with her words.
“I am telling you to let her go. Forget about her. Better yet, forgive her.” I suppressed a cough as I spoke, causing my words to become disjointed. Her mouth opened slightly, but she took the words back before they left her mouth. Don’t stutter, I thought. Don’t you dare stutter right now. I will never forgive you.
“Why, Twilight?” Any hard edge had retreated from her tone, as did the deliberate slowness. There was a sense of... wonder, now. As if my motives and requests were somehow unbelievable. Perhaps they were, to her at least. To me, it was the only logical path.
“If you kill her, what will that do, hmm? She will be gone. I will be gone. Blood is on your hooves and your title. The kingdom is restless after seeing the first, violent execution in hundreds of years.” I didn’t think that I would be able to talk for much longer at this rate. Not with my throat being torn to pieces like a rabid Timberwolf was clawing at it. The moon cast a vivid light into the room now, and the alicorn’s entire body was outlined next to the window. “You need to stop and think, Celestia. You are a Princess, just as you have been for almost two thousand years, but right now, I’m having trouble seeing how you retained that position for so long.”
Her head and left foreleg pulled away from me, the look of shock and disgust on her face giving me an odd sense of comfort and satisfaction. Her wide, magenta eyes bore holes into mine, searching and praying for an answer to what I was saying. She really, truly didn’t get it yet. I couldn’t believe that it took me this long to see how blind she was.
“Look at what happened to Luna when she became Nightmare Moon-”
“Twilight,” An unmistakable, burning note was clear in her warning to me. Her jaw was clenched, but I wasn’t even remotely phased. What could she possibly do to me now?
“Where you could have prevented her from being locked away, in solitude, in hell, for a millennium-”
“Twilight! Stop!” The voice that cowed dragons and hydras was useless against me, and I forged right through her shout, even as her eyes glazed over with tears. The glare from the moon’s glow was very distracting, and if it were possible to raise my hoof and shield my eyes, I would have done so.
“You let your emotions get in the way of every decision!”
“What am I supposed to do, Twilight?!” Her hoof came down hard, cracking the stone beneath the golden hoofguard. Her voice likely woke everyone still in the hospital, but she didn’t care about that right now. “Am I to be a machine, uncaring and unloving for my entire life? Is that what you want?”
Luna’s wing slowly reached over and covered me, but she made no attempt to move other than that small gesture.
“You can’t treat her differently just because it was me she attacked! If she had attacked a stranger, what would happen to her?”
I was almost - almost - able to smile at her lack of a response. I knew I had her beat, but that nagging part of my mind wouldn’t stop, wouldn’t cease, until my heart was devoid of emotion. “Exactly. You’re your own worst enemy, Celestia. It’s going to destroy you.”
Nothing but the sound of her tears hitting the cracked floor were heard. They streamed from her freely, dampening the fur on her cheeks and jaw and leaving darkened streaks. Her normally beautiful features were stricken with silent horror, and her wings had unfurled in front of her, as if they could bar my words access. I let my eyes drift back onto the moon, even though the light was very nearly blinding.
She turned quickly, hooves thundering on the floor in her race to get away from the... thing in the hospital bed. The door sounded like it had been ripped off its hinges, but I heard it slam a moment afterwards.
“Twi...” Rainbow croaked from her chair. I could clearly hear from the inflection in her voice that she was also crying, and I prayed that she left the room. She shouldn’t have to feel obligated to stay here with me. Not now.
The door opened again. Then it shut, with a final, resounding clang.
Luna’s heated wing curled around my hips, and I felt her shaking ever so slightly with sobs. “Why?” The word was choked out, so little of it slipping between her lips that, if I hadn’t knew what she would ask, I would have misheard her.
That spiteful part of my mind told me that I shouldn’t care at this point, and I came close to listening. Another part of me - probably the area that felt like the worst scourge to ever violate Equestria - told me that right now was my last chance to ever care about anything. To waste it would be deserving of Hell.
“It was the only way to get her to listen. My only chance to leave the world harmonious. Am...” The moon filled my vision, but as it grew brighter and wider, it grew paradoxically less hurtful. Now, it was soft, and warm. Welcoming. “...am I a monster?”
Her shaking grew more pronounced, and her wing gripped me tightly. I never heard what she said as the light blotted out everything in the world, and I fell away from her, moving towards the moon...
[Date: April 2nd, Year 1795 of the Equestrian Era]
[Location: Twilight’s tower, in Canterlot]
[Condition: Worried]
Facing the massive window that took up an entire wall of the tower, I had my head raised towards the stars and my eyes closed, wondering what I should say. Or if there was even anything to be said. I wasn’t sure I would be able to bear her disappointment any further, and that stopped my prayer from reaching out to her.
The light of dawn was glowing at the reaches of the horizon, and the sun would have to rise soon. Until then, however, I continued to struggle with my words, torn between the need to be forgiven and the fear that she would scorn me for the rest of my days.
The air was still in the tower, as was the rest of the world, as far as I was concerned. With both feelings gnawing at my heart, I knew I had to explain myself to her sometime, and it might as well be sooner. I breathed deeply, through my nose and out my mouth, trying to still my rapid heart and trembling lip.
“Twilight...” I spoke aloud. I couldn’t risk her not hearing me, wherever she was. “My student, before you judge me for my crime, please know the amount of time I spent, in waking and sleeping hours, thinking this over.” I paced my words, enunciating clearly, and making sure nothing was wasted or lost. “I know it’s not what you wanted, but... I’m sorry. Truly. I could not allow her to freely to walk the earth, knowing she might strike again.”
As I spoke, there seemed to be a palpable feeling in the air, increasing in intensity as I spoke. It was like the air was condensing, tensing, waiting for something. “I hope you understand why I had to imprison her, Twilight. You may not think it, but your... your passing is too significant to allow for kindness.” Biting tears stung my purple eyes, but despite the pain of holding them in, they were not allowed onto the floor.
Orange and gold were the dominant colors in the sky now, and I let the sun peek over the horizon, ushering in the fourth day that I would have to suffer through without my best friend by my side.
“I know that I ask too much of you, but... please, my student, help me see that you understand. Just... please don’t hate me.” I whispered, and I lost the battle to hold a tear in. The wet droplet desecrated her sanctum, and this in turn allowed more tears to fall.
The sun was growing brighter, not that I cared. The Princess of the Sun did not get agitated by light. Its aura filled the tower chamber, and set my alabaster coat aflame with a deep coral. I waited for anything to happen, the sharp beats of my heart thrumming away in my chest, and the feeling in the air seemed ready to snap. My breath hitched, and misplaced hope flooded my body, waiting and wanting for a moment that never came.
It took all of my strength to not break down where I was, falling to the floor and curling up to die there. I somehow remained upright, though every bone and muscle in my body was numb as I stood, turning from the window and going to leave this mausoleum for the final time in my life.
Something in the corner of my eye made me turn my head. Though my vision blurred with tears, my attention was drawn to the glint of a seal on a tightly wrapped scroll, sitting atop my student’s desk to the left of the staircase. Pure, unbridled hope was the only emotion I could feel in my shattered mind, and I all but flew to the mahogany desk.
Levitating the parchment in front of me, shaky breaths entered and exited my form as I carefully undid the seal - Twilight’s seal - and unfurled the scroll.
A minute later, I gave up the fight to keep my emotions contained. I moved the Friendship Report away from me as I sobbed, laying it back onto the desk, still open to the world, and shakily made my way down the steps and out the door of my student’s tower.
Dear Princess Celestia,
I am aware of the fact that it has been over a decade since I last sent you a report on the magic of friendship, but I guess that also serves as a secondary lesson; You’re never too old for friends and loved ones to teach you new things.
I’ve learned today that, although something may hurt you, you can’t choose ignore it, or the pain will grow until it eats away at you. Embracing it, and changing yourself, is the only way to feel better.
Luna and I got into an argument last night, and we both said things that we deeply regret. But from this, I realized that she had given me a gift - she gave me the chance to improve myself. I took what she said, and I vowed to make a better pony from these words, to make sure nopony could say them about me ever again. I will not allow my flaws to control my life.
I cast my head around slowly, taking in the sights around the path that had become familiar to me in the past three days. The trees off to the left were alive with cardinals and blue jays, flying to and fro from trees and chirping happily. Patches and plats of varieties of flowers dotted the grassy fields to either side of the dirt road, poppies and juniper and all others filling the air with their scents, stretching out far beyond the soft, rolling hills on the right. The sun was a few hours into it’s trek across the beryl sky, and the heat it brought was quite pleasant, if a bit cool because of the mild breeze. The wind was headlong, and the sound of it filled my ears as I relished in the whipping tendrils of the refreshing air, if only to distract myself for a few moments from the hollowness I felt inside.
I saw her as I ascended a slight hill, in that same, damnable spot she hadn’t moved from in over half a week, and some stale, overused emotion pierced my heart at the sight of her. Her fur had an almost imperceptible tinge of violet to it, but I knew this was because of the red burns her skin had suffered from the sun. Her mane was aloft in the wind, bouncing across her shoulders as she lay in front of the modest tomb, her vigil unwavering, immortal.
Veering off the path as it took a right, I continued straight, towards Luna. It took but a moment to reach the grave, even though my steps were slow, haste being devoid of any part of the surrounding area. For the fourth time in my life, the sense that I did not belong here filled me as I lowered myself onto the ground, to the right of my sister, in the same spot I had stayed in during all of my attempts to atone.
Luna raised her head off her hooves slowly, tilting towards me and finding my shoulder. I let her rest there, and unfurled my left wing to drape over her body. Where her skin would normally be cool to the touch, her burns now contrasted against the feeling.
I looked to the lilacs adorning the head of the plaque, and the wind carried their fragrance to me. A more perfect fit for the tomb did not exist. They held my gaze for a long moment, their petals swaying and flowing in the spring air, until I found the strength in me to look at the memorial.
It was a beautiful stone, deserving of the honor it held as her final resting place. It was a humble little marker, only about as wide as my horn, and half as long. It was smooth and flat, the polish reflecting light off of the surface, but not in a blinding manner. The symbol on the bottom half was an exact etching of her cutie mark, and there was almost no way to tell that it had been hoof-carved. The lines were flawlessly straight, the symbol unskewed and unaltered on the slab. As it should be.
The wind shifted slightly, decreasing in intensity while shifting directions. Now, my sister’s mane was lightly blown against my upper leg and ribs, her hair being colder than the breeze, but not in an unpleasant way. The cold was that of a summer’s dawn, or a perfect winter morning.
I took note of the shadows on the ground, not realizing how long we had been there already. I reached out to the sun, finding it to be slightly past noon already. Three hours, I had been here. Three hours. Where did all of that time go?
That was a question I had asked myself dozens of times this week. A Goddess’ memory is long and detailed, reaching back hundreds and hundreds of years, and everything seemed to be so short, so insignificant. Where had the energetic, promising filly that was able to hatch a dragon before her tenth birthday gone? Where was the mare that had been my Faithful Student for the best years of my life?
The sting of tears pained me again, but I held them in check. Crying would do nothing to help anypony. Emotions had been the doorway that allowed for fate to enter, snatching away my student before her time. I knew this, but my traitorous mind refused to let my feelings be contained.
Twilight, listen, I thought to her, praying that she could hear me. I know that you have forgiven me, but this does not make my time without you any easier. You were the world to me. You still are. I want you to know that, even if I must continue on without you... I’ll never forget you, my student... my friend.
I didn’t know it was possible to get choked up on words you were only thinking. There was a strained feeling in my throat, and it was tough to swallow the tears that again threatened to escape.
Another sensation, a mental tug, gripped my mind with a soft, firm hand. My attention was drawn to the west, where a golden ball of light was waiting at the edge of the horizon. The reserves of magic inside of me awakened and set my horn alight, and the sun dipped below the hills with my aid.
As a moment passed, the calls of the birds were slowly drowned out by the quiet chirps of crickets, and the air seemingly grew darker, heavier, with nightfall. I watched my sister’s eyes twitch slightly as she struggled with the sensation in her mind, but she was too far gone in her trance to recognize her other half.
A deep, painful breath left through my nose, and I took to the east, my magic fumbling and struggling with the moon as I tried to push it into the sky. Even though it was still unused to my touch, the sphere abided by my will and ascended. The light of the half moon covered the ground, Twilight’s grave, and our bodies with its pale light.
Cool, almost chilly air was pushed about by the calm winds. It felt nice against my coat as I tried to stand, but sitting still for so long had its consequences. Slowly, I rose to my hooves, wincing at every pop and crack in my joints, and at every muscle that felt like it was being ripped apart. My wing slid over Luna’s back as I stood, and I retracted the limb, folding it to my side once more.
Luna moved her head back to where she had set it before my arrival, and I cringed lightly at the way she just dropped herself onto her hooves. I was scared for my sister, not knowing if she would ever truly return from this field when she was able to rise. I bowed my head towards her, pressing my lips to her head and drawing away hesitantly. There was no response from her, and I was disgusted with myself for thinking, just for a fraction of a second, that she was being selfish.
I turned away from the site, the words of the stone echoing in my thoughts as I slowly walked the dirt path back to civilization, my heart heavy with remorse.
Here lies Twilight Sparkle
A Student
A Teacher
A Friend
“It’s the contents of a pony that count. And a good friend, like a good book, is something that will last forever.”
