Submissions for 30 Minute Ponies, starring the Great and Powerful Trixie!
Stories written for the 30 Minute Ponies tumblr. All stories written in 30 minutes or less, with minimal editing.
Also Trixie is the greatest pony who ever lived, therefore all stories are about her.
#218: Autograph An autograph seeker is dangerously close to Trixie's bad side... The Prompt: I resolve to preserve self-control.
#220: Trixie's Quest Trixie strives to become friends with her once-mortal enemy. The Prompt: I resolve to make the change.
#222: Preparing for Her Big Day Trixie prepares for a big event in her life - performing in Canterlot! The Prompt: I resolve to be noticed.
#225: Pitfall Cloud Kicker saves Trixie from a pit, in a ruined Canterlot. The Prompt: Two ponies go on a journey. At least one of the characters must be a canon character whom you have never written before.
#226: Pinkie's Mech Pinkie Pie and Trixie pilot a mech against the enemies of Equestria! The Prompt: It came from outer space.
#227: Detective Derpy Derpy's getting to the bottom of a crime and Pinkie, Golden Harvest, and Trixie are her suspects! The Prompt: [redacted for spoilers].
#229: Pockets Trixie heads to the Crystal Empire to get crystals to become the most powerful unicorn. the prompt: The cold winter air carries the call of wild geese flying south. I long to follow them.
#231: Antediluvian Confession Trixie has a confession to make. The Prompts: “Twilight discovers magic of a different nature.”/ “Pinkie’s parties perk up ponies!” / “Rarity’s generosity knows no bounds… even when it should.”
#234: Lost in Canterlot Trixie finds herself separated from her companion in a ruined canterlot. (Follow up to 225, Pitfall) The Prompt: Phantom faces at the windows. Phantom shadows on the floor. Empty chairs at empty tables …
#243: Astonishing and Spectacular A bedtime story. The Prompt: Somepony tells a bedtime story.
#338: Door of the Moon aka Holy Crap It Took Forever For Me To Decide To Write For This Again A motley crew descends upon an ancient treasure hoard... The Prompt: “Keep All Princesses Away From This Door”
Special thanks to my friend for suggesting the name "The Trixie Zone".
“And make it out to ‘Starshine your Number One fan with kisses’.”
“Kisses?” Trixie asked, raising one brow. She kept her marker close to the picture. Don’t say it.
“Y’know, because you love me?”
Don’t say it. “Because I love you.” Her voice was flat.
“You don’t love your fans?” Starshine was a little put-off, voice cracking a bit.
Not really. “Trixie loves her fans, but not that much. I will put down ‘Number One fan with love’.”
She scribbled that down on the picture, along with her awkward scrawl of a signature and levitated it over to Starshine. The lanky dusty brown stallion accepted it without a word. His eyes went over what she had written, and then they flicked up to her.
“Yes?” Trixie’s eye twitched. Most fans left after getting her autograph. Also, most didn’t ask that she put down “with kisses” either.
“Nothing,” he said.
Her eye twitched again. Whatever you do, don’t insult him. Variations of that thought had been flittering around her head ever since he had ambushed her on her way back to her wagon.
“Well, then please ‘nothing’ elsewhere. The Great and Powerful Trixie is in need of rest and relaxation.”
She stepped backwards, back into her wagon. The last thing Trixie saw as she closed the doors was Starshine still standing there, watching her. It was creepy. He was creepy. She wanted more than anything to say to him he was creepy.
But she bit her tongue. Maybe if she kept her mouth shut she’d finally make a friend. Even if it was a creepy one, like Starshine. Or maybe he was creepy in a good way, like her Aunt Kozma had been.
Regardless, she only had one more show in Hollow Shades to do, and then she could leave for greener pastures.
***
The next day came quick, and Trixie found herself on a stage performing again. She did the standard spiel – parasprites from her hat, making an audience member disappear (though she made sure it wasn’t Starshine, who had shown up again, even though she wished he would disappear) – and her adoring audience ate it up, as usual.
Afterwards the usual autograph seekers arrived and she went through the line, signing what they wanted. Then she came to Starshine. Again.
“I signed your stuff yesterday,” she said flatly.
“Actually, I wanted to ask something,” he managed after a while.
Oh Celestia, she thought. He wants to ask me out on a date. Ew ew ewwww. “What is it?” Trixie asked through gritted teeth.
“Uh… Well, I saw… er, that is… You seem lonely. Would you like to grab a bite to eat with me?”
Involuntarily, Trixie made a gagging noise. “Ugh! Trixie go out with you? Certainly you must be joking. I’d rather go out with an unbathed minotaur.” Oh. I said it. She winced at her own stupidity.
“Oh.” He looked down, an embarrassed flush to his face. “Well, I’m sorry for bothering you.” He turned and walked out of her life for the last time.
Trixie sighed, and buried her head in her hooves. She was so stupid. So, so stupid. She always did things like that when somepony asked to be around her.
Oh well. At least she still had a bottle of gin to keep her warm at night. That was something, wasn’t it?
Taking in a deep breath, Trixie steeled herself for what was to come. She rapped on the door, glancing around nervously. After a short period where nothing happened, she turned to leave.
It was at that moment that the door opened, and Trixie spun around to face the inhabitant of the house.
“Trixie?” Twilight Sparkle asked, raising an eyebrow quizzically. “What are you doing back in town?”
Trixie wasn’t sure if that was curiosity or disguised anger, and she didn’t want to find out.
“Er… Trixie… I mean, I wanted to apologise. Again.”
Twilight frowned, and motioned for Trixie to step inside the tree-house. Trixie followed her in, nervously wringing her hat in her hooves.
“Trixie,” Twilight said with a sigh. “You don’t need to. It was that amulet making you, well evil and stuff. You don’t need to apologise.”
“Of course I do!” Trixie paused in her wringing of the hat. “I terrorized everypony in town, I put the town in a jar… Actually that last bit was kinda cool. Who would have thought that was possible?”
“I could have?” It wasn’t meant as a question, it just came out that way. “Look, Trixie, if it’s what you want here: I forgive you. Are you happy?”
Trixie frowned. She wasn’t. There was something else heavy on her mind. She wanted… She wanted…
“I want to be friends with you, Sparkle.”
Twilight blinked in surprise. Of all the things Trixie could have said, that was obviously the last thing she had expected. “Friends? Well…” She looked down for a moment, lost in thought. Then, her head snapped up, and she smiled. “Of course I’ll be friends with you, Trixie. Why would I not be? I mean, you’re a magician, I’m a magician…”
Now it was Trixie’s turn to be surprised. She had honestly not thought Twilight would respond like that. “Well… T-thank you. I am glad Trixie is your friend now. Together we will make the most powerful spells in all of Equestria! Imagine the banner!” She grabbed Twilight and made an encompassing sweep of her hoof. “‘Trixie and Sparkle Present the Greatest Magic Show on Earth’! We’ll sell hundreds of tickets!”
“Er… yeah,” Twilight said, brushing Trixie’s arm off. “Sounds fantastic. Look Trixie, it’s late. Let’s be friends tomorrow, and do friend stuff then, okay?”
Trixie practically hopped in joy over to the door. “Trixie awaits! You will not regret friending her!”
As the eager unicorn left, Twilight sighed. “I hope I don’t,” she said to nopony in particular.
With a flourish, she draped the final part of the curtain over the stage. What a fine curtain it was, too – royal blue with deep purple lining. It was magnificent, even more so than her previous curtain.
Trixie stepped back to admire her work. Her gypsy’s wagon was decked out in gold trim, the fold-out stage was nicely polished, and she had now finished her hanging of the curtain. She was fairly certain a large crowd would turn out just in awe of her decorations.
She rubbed a speck of dust off the stage with her cape. It struck her immediately afterwards that was a poor idea, and she spit on the cape where she had wiped the dust off and tried to clean it. Satisfied, Trixie stopped in her rubbings and walked around the stage. Her props were all there, and the hidden passageway was there for the disappearing audience member.
Trixie grabbed her favourite prop, a fake rabbit that looked real. She had named it Snuffles a while ago. Poking it, she was delighted to see its nose twitch. She’d had it since she was a filly. If it weren’t for all the fond memories of it, she’d sell it for a real one. Well, if it weren’t for the memories and the lack of money.
But today – ah, today, she would have no more money issues. Everypony knew Canterlot was full of ponies with more money than they knew what to do with. With her skill at sleight-of-hoof and dazzling illusions, she’d be swimming in the money they’d shower on her.
Trixie smiled at the thought of having that much money. Soon those times would be upon her, soon that guard would finish tearing down those posters she’d worked all night to make-
Wait, what?
“Hey! What’s the deal?” she asked, running up.
The guard looked at her, a bored expression on his face. “Do you have a performance licence?”
“Er, no-”
“You need a performance licence to perform in Canterlot. Sorry.”
He dumped the pile of posters he’d torn down in front of her and trotted off.
Cloud Kicker leaned against the crumbled ruin of the city wall, her armour clinking as it did so. The damage wrought on Canterlot by the hordes of Tartarus was great. The city she had once known and loved was nothing but a charred skeleton.
She took a step forward, carefully navigating the broken cobblestone. Upon finding the ground solid, Cloud took another step forward and another. The wind blew, ruffling her mane and bringing the stench of fire and rot to her nose.
The devils of Tartarus were not present in this area of the town, she had noticed. They were all higher up, by the castle for whatever reason. She had occasionally encountered the almost-mindless thralls of the demons, stumbling around blindly. These Cloud took care to avoid – she had learned long ago the shrieks of a thrall would bring terror down upon her.
At times she would check her side. A solitary chunk of crystal hung from where her saddlebag usually would, swirls of dirty blue decorating it. She had found it in the ruins of a caravan a while ago, and did not know its purpose. And yet… Yet it held some kind of comfort to her. A talisman of peace, so to speak.
Soon, she came to a pit. It was an unnatural pit, and was as if a huge chunk of ground had been ripped up by a giant. The pegasus slowed in her walk and gingerly stepped over to investigate.
“Hello?” a voice drifted over from the bottom of the pit. “Are you sane?”
“I like to think I am,” Cloud said, voice rough from disuse. “Who’s down there?”
“Oh thank Celestia!” The voice brightened distinctly from its original, terrified state. The tremble of fear was still there though. “It is I, the Great and Powerful Trixie! Those beasts locked me in a cage and threw me down here. I hate to think what will happen if they return.”
“Me too,” the pegasus muttered. Louder, so that Trixie could hear, she added, “Trixie, hold on a moment. I’m gonna fly down there and see about breaking the lock.”
Glancing around, Cloud saw a good size rock. Perfect for breaking things. She opened her mouth as wide as she could and bit down into it. Her teeth ground against the rough surface of the rock, but she managed to keep a grip on it.
Cloud moved to the edge of the pit, leaning back on her haunches to propel herself into the air. The ground gave way under her, and she tumbled forward into the pit. The sword she had gotten so long ago from a griffon clattered out of her reach as she struck bottom. She hadn’t seen the crystal fly away though – maybe it was still there.
Her head hurt fiercely, a fiery stab of pain with each breath she took. The rock she had taken was a few inches away. She grabbed it again, and slowly dragged herself to the cage.
The cage was half-buried in the rubble, crusted over with rust. With a good amount of effort, Cloud managed to prop herself up on the cage. She slammed down on the lock with the stone, ignoring each fresh burst of pain in her skull. After what seemed an eternity, the lock snapped, and Trixie kicked open the door. The unicorn leapt out, tumbling into the pit just like Cloud had a few moments ago. Except unlike Cloud she had less of a fall ahead of her.
Cloud hopped down from the cage, stumbling as she did so.
“Is this yours?” Trixie asked, holding the sword in an aura of magic. “Trixie almost hurt herself on it.”
“Yeah,” Cloud managed. She took the sword away from Trixie and sheathed it.
Trixie looked around. “I will save us, never fear.” She sounded contemptuous and fearless, but Cloud knew better. She could hear the almost-paralyzing fear in Trixie’s voice, as hidden as it was.
Trixie put a foreleg around Cloud’s neck, and lowered her head. Blue magic swirled around her horn, and Cloud found her head spinning again as a flash of light blinded her. Blinking, Cloud saw they were out of the pit, which was a few meters behind them now.
“Trixie knows her magic well,” the unicorn said with a haughty flip of her mane.
“Magic’s good and all, but what good is it right now?” Cloud looked around. The shadows were lengthening, which meant night was falling. At night the demons would likely return here to seek their dinner. It wouldn’t be a good idea to stay behind. “We need to get out of here.”
“I had heard…” Trixie shook her head. “No, that’s an old mare’s tale.”
Cloud, checking herself for her crystal, looked up. “What is?”
“Well, I had heard the crystal ponies in the north created some kind of… sanctuary, I suppose. Somewhere to escape this horrible place. Accessible only by a certain kind of crystal.” She looked away with a sad frown. “If only she were here… Twilight Sparkle would know better than me.”
Finding the crystal, Cloud produced it. “A crystal like this?”
Trixie’s gaze went over the crystal a few times. “Possibly… Trixie doesn’t know much about crystals but maybe.” Magic crackled around her horn and around the crystal. After a few moments, she spoke again. “Yes, Trixie feels an enchantment. Shall we?”
Cloud put a foreleg around Trixie’s neck. “I don’t see another way,” she said.
The magic around the crystal brightened–
There was a great flash–
And the two opened their eyes. Around them was a fancifully decorated hall, as clean as one could hope for. Their reflections stared back at them from the floor.
Pinkie Pie pulled back on the lever, hearing a familiar click as it reached its resting point. The slats in front of her opened, bathing the cockpit in light. Gripping the joystick between two hooves, Pinkie tilted forward. The mech began to move, awkwardly at first, but it soon gained momentum and a modicum of grace.
It was bipedal, with a bulbous torso, no head, and two arms that ended in cannons. Pink was the primary colour, with a few streaks of light blue and yellow – Pinkie’s idea, of course. It had been built using the strange machine from space that ha d crash-landed near Hollow Shades a few years ago.
Shortly after the crash, the other machines had come. Machines like the ones the forge built. Princess Celestia had ordered the mechs from the forge be used to combat the plague of aliens. Unfortunately, the power source had proven to be an issue. As a result, a unicorn was required to power each mech.
Pinkie’s unicorn was Trixie. She hadn’t liked the idea at first, given her previous engagements with Trixie, but she had reluctantly agreed. Trixie had proven to be a good companion, however, and Pinkie had forged a tentative friendship with her.
“Is everything okay on your end?” Trixie asked, voice filtering through the radio.
“Everything’s peachy-keen,” Pinkie said. “We’re at one hundred percent! Time to show these guys who’s boss!”
“These guys” were a pair of alien mechs. Unlike the mechs the ponies used, these were quadrupedal. A single cannon was mounted on their back, and they scuttled about like crabs.
One “crab” noticed Pinkie’s mech, and fired at her. The shell impacted harmlessly a couple dozen meters away, showering the area in dirt. The shells they fired were called “depleted uranium” by the eggheads. Pinkie hadn’t the slightest what that meant, and she intended to keep it that way.
Unlocking the left arm, Pinkie aimed her auto-cannon at the crab that had fired at her. Squeezing the trigger, she unleashed a barrage of bullets. Most pinged off the crab’s hard armour plating, but a few found their way in to the softer mechanisms beneath. From these conduits blue fluid squirted out.
“Banana nut muffins!” Pinkie swore. “We’re gonna need something better, Trixie! Power up the streamers!”
“Got it,” crackled the radio.
The screen showing the power levels flashed as the auto-cannon lost power and the launcher on the right gained that same power. With a giggle, Pinkie unlocked the right arm and aimed it at the same crab. She squeezed the trigger-
-and a rocket burst from the launcher arm, spiraling towards the crab. After on a split-second – though it seemed longer – the rocket struck home, destroying the crab. Pieces of its metal hide bounced off the ground.
The second crab paused to fire a shell at Pinkie. Unlike the first shell, this one actually hit, tearing the launcher arm clean off. Wires dripping with blue fluid hung limply from the stump.
“Trixie I need power back to the auto-cannon,” Pinkie said. When there was no response, she tapped the comm speaker. “Trixie?”
Still no response.
Pinkie unstrapped herself from her chair and hopped down, poking her head down to the reactor. Trixie laid there in her little plastic womb, a pained grimace on her face. The jolt from the sudden removal of the arm had knocked her unconscious.
She swung herself back onto the chair with a determined scowl. She was going to beat this thing, by Geoffrey, or her name wasn’t Pinkamena Diane Pie!
Her mech took a leap forward, jets on its feet propelling it. The crab paused again, and was about to fire another round at her when she rammed it. The mech raised its arm up, then bought it crashing down again. It did it again and again and again.
“I’m Pinkie Pie!” she shouted, slamming the shell of the crab.
Slam!
“And nopony-”
Slam!
“-hurts-”
Slam!
“-my-”
Slam!
“-friends!”
She brought the arm hammering down one final time. The crab shattered, leaving a pile of debris beneath her feet.
“Horse apples!” Trixie snapped.
“What?”
“You get to be the hero and I get knocked out? What kind of story is that?!”
Pinkie shrugged. “Well I thought it was a neato story.”
“Now then, gentlemares, you’re probably wondering why I’ve called you all here.” Derpy steepled her hooves, staring at her captive audience.
Pinkie Pie, Trixie, and Golden Harvest sat there, staring at her blankly.
“A terrible crime has been committed,” she continued. “This most heinous of crimes could only have been perpetrated by one of you.”
“Oh Celestia,” Golden Harvest muttered, rolling her eyes.
“Yes, that’s right! Somepony here ate my batch of muffins that were made for the upcoming Summer Sun Festival.”
“What makes us the only possible perpetrators?” Trixie asked, one eyebrow raised.
“Well I’m glad you asked that!” Derpy leaned in towards Trixie until the two were almost touching noses. “Pinkie Pie had motive and opportunity. You and Golden Harvest are just here to watch me accuse Pinkie Pie.”
She looked over at Pinkie Pie who just shrugged.
“If you already think it’s Pinkie Pie why bother with us?” Trixie asked with a sigh.
“I dunno.” It was Derpy’s turn to shrug.
All three mares turned to face Pinkie Pie. The pink pony twitched a few times before bursting into tears.
“Okay it was me! I couldn’t help myself! They smelled so good. And they were chocolate chip. How could I resist?!”
Trixie and Golden Harvest exchanged glances before rolling their eyes in unison.
“Okay, that’s it. I’m gone. Bye Derpy.” Golden Harvest trotted off.
“I’m just… Trixie’s outta here,” Trixie said, backing out slowly.
Derpy watched them go, and then turned back to Pinkie Pie.
“It’s just me and you now,” she said.
She leapt on Pinkie and began tickling her.
“Nooo!” shouted Pinkie. “Anything but the tickle punishment!”
She wrapped her cloak tighter around her as the wind blew. Looking up, Trixie could see only gloomy grey clouds stretching to infinity.
The journey north had been easy before, but now she was finding it difficult. Ever since the weather changed from being nice and warm to cold and dismal, her progress had slowed considerably. Still she trekked on.
How did I get into this again? This thought raced through her mind every minute of every day.
It was rather simple how she got into her current situation: The archmage Starburst.
She had encountered the archmage in a small tavern in Hollow Shades. At the time, she hadn’t known he was the archmage. He wasn’t imposing or dressed in elaborate clothes. Instead, he was an unassuming unicorn who wore nothing but a simple maroon shawl and a capotain.
“Oh, well, there’s an easy way to get more power,” he had said. “Far up in the frozen north is the Crystal Empire. The crystals there are natural focus lens for magic. All you need is one as an amulet and bingo zap zam! More magic power than you can shake a cat at.”
With that he had fallen into a deep sleep due to all the ale he had imbibed, and Trixie departed, rich with information.
***
After what seemed an eternity of walking, Trixie saw the Crystal Kingdom rising in the north. Her pace quickened, and she reached it before sundown.
Soon, she found herself in the courtyard, where several crystal ponies were packing crystals into boxes.
“U-um,” Trixie said, shivering. “Could I have one of your crystals?”
The crystal pony started giggling, then flat-out laughing. A few others paused in their work to see what the commotion was.
“Let me get this straight,” she said in-between laughs. “You want our crystals?”
Trixie flushed red, frozen in terror. She couldn’t speak, much less move.
A new, terrifyingly familiar voice entered the fray. “What’s going on here, girls?”
“This silly filly wants some crystals,” the crystal pony replied.
Twilight Sparkle walked over, and surveyed Trixie with a keen eye. “Well, if it isn’t the Great and Powerful Trixie.”
“Twilight Sparkle,” Trixie hissed.
“You’re not going to give her crystals, are you?” Twilight asked.
With another bark of laughter, the crystal pony shook her head.
“Good. I wouldn’t want anypony like her to get any. She might use them to try and get revenge on me because I saved her from death one time.”
“Why would Trixie take revenge on the one pony she love-” Trixie clapped her hooves over her mouth. Something warm started to drip from her cape pockets.
“Love?” Twilight laughed. “How could I, student to Princess Celestia, love somepony with spaghetti falling out of her pockets?”
Trixie looked down. There was so much spaghetti falling out of her pockets. “Oh no!”
“OH NOOOOOOOOO!” she screamed, sitting bolt upright in bed.
The door burst open. Mr Pie stood there, eye twitching. “Keep down the noise! And get back to sleep!”
Trixie nodded, drawing the covers farther up, eventually covering her head with them. Suffice to say, she didn’t get back to sleep that night.
The party was in full swing. DJ Pon-3 was playing her usual electropop fare, and Pinkie was bouncing around, making sure everypony’s night was going swimmingly. And everypony’s night was going swimmingly.
Well, except Trixie’s. She sat in a corner, alone. Not many ponies had forgiven her for the whole “reign of terror” thing, and therefore avoided her.
Her plight did not go unnoticed. Pinkie had bounded away from her after a short visit, heading for Rarity. She informed Rarity of Trixie’s loneliness, and being exceedingly generous, Rarity decided to pay Trixie a little visit.
“Good evening,” she said, taking a seat across from Trixie.
Trixie’s gaze was fixed elsewhere, and it took another repetition of greeting to break her spell. “Er, hello. You aren’t here to yell at Trixie – I mean, me – are you?”
Rarity laughed softly. “Oh, heavens no. Pinkie Pie told me you were rather lonely, and that’s such a terrible thing on a night like this. So I figured, why not stop by and rid you of such loneliness?”
Trixie only mumbled something in reply.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.”
“Trixie said nothing,” she replied, eyes darting around nervously.
“Dear, you have nothing to hide from me.” She laid a hoof on Trixie’s and smiled gently. “A secret’s a secret with Rarity.”
Trixie flushed red and gulped. After a few moments of silence, she said, “I have feelings for somepony, but… I don’t think she feels the same way.”
“Who?”
She mumbled a response again.
“Say that louder.”
“It’s Twilight Sparkle!” Trixie practically snapped those words.
Rarity was finding it hard not to laugh. Trixie was in love with her former nemesis. It was just too perfect. Like something she’d find in one of her romance novels.
“Well, have you tried... asking her?”
“No!” Trixie said in a panicked tone. “What if she said no?”
“You’ll never know if you don’t try.”
“Trixie doesn’t think-”
Rarity grabbed Trixie by the lapels on her cape. “I’m trying to help you here,” she said through gritted teeth. “Now get out there and tell Twilight you like her.”
She practically threw Trixie away from the table. Trixie picked herself up, and with a irritated glance back, made her way to Twilight. She could hardly walk, she was so nervous.
Twilight was busy flipping through a book. The title on the spine was ‘Parties and How to Become Queen of Them’.
“Hello, Twilight,” Trixie said, words coming out haltingly.
“Oh. Hello, Trixie. What do you think of the party?” Twilight asked, looking up from her book with a smile.
“It’s… certainly a party.”
“That it is,” Twilight replied, smile growing bigger.
“Um…” Trixie paused, the words not coming. Twilight cocked her head at her. Looking back at rarity for encouragement, she saw the glamorous mare make a “Go on” gesture with her hooves. “Trixie… That is, I…”
“Yes?”
Oh, screw it. “Hey babe,” she started. Twilight raised an eyebrow, an incredulous expression crossing her face. “If friendship’s magic then my love for you is antediluvian sorcery.”
There was a long, utterly terrifying pause. Twilight and Trixie stared at one another. Rarity just sighed and buried her head in her hooves at Trixie’s utter inability to act properly.
“Well… I didn’t know you felt that way about me,” Twilight said. Then after another, shorter pause, she added: “Antediluvian sorcery? Wow. That’s pretty… yeah. I mean I’ve always liked you in a weird way… Not sure it’s that strong.”
Trixie’s face fell, going into full pout mode.
“But that’s not to say I don’t feel strongly towards you, Trixie. From a strictly scientific standpoint, the chemicals that control attraction are, uh, very potent when it comes to you…”
Trixie’s pout turned into a tentative smile. “Then you mean-”
“Yes, Trixie. For the benefit of my own scientific research, I will be your special somepony.”
Trixie enveloped her new marefriend in a hug. “This is the best day ever!”
A/N: This ties into my entry for prompt #225, “Pitfall”. Reading it isn’t necessary, as all pertinent background information is reiterated here.
She was alone.
Trixie’s head spun for a moment, and she felt like vomiting. Taking a stumbling step forward, she did so, the gunk spattering over the rubble that lined the streets. Spitting out the last few bits of vomit, Trixie got up.
Her teleportation spell had gone awry. She and Cloudkicker had been in the Crystal Sanctuary only moments before. Cloud had wanted to go back to Canterlot to look for treasures in the ruins. Trixie hadn’t particularly wanted to. She ended up going, seeing as she was the only magic user in the Sanctuary. Well, the only magic user who wasn’t wrapped up in pointless experiments, like the Archmage, Starburst.
“Cloud?” she asked, voice cracked and low. Louder, she repeated herself. There was no reply, only the whistling of wind through the ruins of Canterlot.
Canterlot had fallen to the demons long ago. Trixie couldn’t remember how long. An age? Years? Only months? Her sense of time had slipped past her grasp long ago.
Now, Canterlot was a skeleton of a city, burned to ashes. And where it wasn’t burnt, it was obliterated. All around her were fallen buildings, scattered statues… Relics of a time long past.
It occurred to her after a moment that she knew where she was: the town square. A long time ago, when she was a filly, she had been here. Her mother was putting on a magic show, and Trixie was her helper.
She wasn’t actually much help, more a hindrance. She fumbled the hat with the fake bunny inside. She broke the pretend saw. But still her mother just smiled and rolled with it.
Ghosts of the past, she thought.
Taking a step forward, Trixie sniffed the air. It was stagnant and dead, like the city. Cloud had said she’d seen demons prowling about, but so far it seemed empty.
There was only one exit out of the square, so Trixie headed for it. A pile of rubble soon blocked her way, and she was forced to climb it. The climb was easy, for the most part. She still ended up with skinned knees and bruises.
Once over to the other side, Trixie called out Cloudkicker’s name again. This time, she heard a response, faintly. She jogged over to where it sounded, and found Cloudkicker trapped inside a building.
“What are you doing in there?” Trixie asked with a wry smile.
“Fell in, hurt my wing,” Cloud responded, rubbing her injured wing. It didn’t look too bad from Trixie’s perspective, but she didn’t know much about wing injuries.
The only windows in the building were small, hardly big enough for a filly to slip through, much less a full-grown mare wearing armour. The single door had been blocked by rubble. The only exit Trixie could see was on the broken second floor, out of Cloud’s hobbled reach.
There was only one thing Trixie could do. She’d flubbed it the last time, but maybe this time…
She lowered her head, drawing power to her horn. It sparked a few times, but soon a light magenta aura came to life around her horn. She focused on the mental image of Cloudkicker standing next to her. She imagined a hand plucking Cloudkicker from the ruined hut and placing her beside her.
“Trixie?” came Cloud’s voice, fear and doubt obvious in it.
Trixie didn’t reply. She simply concentrated on those images: Cloud, safe and sound next to her. The aura around her horn glowed at its brightest and a loud pop! echoed through the streets.
Opening her eyes gingerly, Trixie looked around. Cloudkicker wasn’t inside the building anymore, but she dind’t appear to be anywhere close by. Panicking, Trixie started forward at a quick pace. She tripped, falling flat on her face.
Standing up with a grunt, she looked back at what she had tripped over. It was Cloudkicker, upside down on the ground. She was looking at Trixie with an angry expression. Burdened by her armour, the pegasus was unable to right herself.
Trixie couldn’t help herself. She started laughing until she shook. Cloud started to laugh too, after a while.
It was the first time in a long while Trixie could remember laughing.
Another story, dear? Very well, let me think of one. Hmm… Ah, I know! How about the story of the Astonishing and Spectacular Beatrix?
Who’s she, mommy?
Well, long ago she was a travelling magician like me. In fact, she looked just like you. Not only that, but we named you after her.
She travelled far and wide, all across the land of Equestria. Ponies everywhere adored her, and she became one of the most famous ponies ever!
One night she arrived in a small town. That town was the very town we are in today – Manehattan! Now, in the days of Beatrix, Manehattan was a simple town of farmers. It was not what you see today, not at all!
She set up her wares and began to astonish the townsponies with her magics. Soon, she had the entire town under her spell, so to speak.
Was she a gypsy?
Oh, yes. Perhaps the first gypsy. In fact, I believe she came from Romaneigh, just like us. But hush, and let your mum continue.
After her show, a pony came up to her, and said nervously, ‘Miss Beatrix?’
‘Yes?’ she asked in her usual theatrical voice.
Fumbling around, he continued. “I was wondering if you could help us with a problem. The village elders don’t think it’s that big a deal… But…’
‘Just spit it out already,’ Beatrix said irritably.
‘T-there’s an ursa major that lives in the caves outside town. It keeps eating our milk cows. They think if we leave it alone it’ll leave, but I don’t think so.’
Beatrix frowned, for she was a simple stage magician. Her talk of being Astonishing and even Spectacular was just that – talk. Her skills were varied, oh yes, but they were simple illusion spells and a few morph spells. Nothing that could defeat an ursa major.
‘Well…’ She paused. Who was she to break the heart of a young stallion like that? ‘Beatrix will see if she can defeat this ursa major. She needs rest first.’
He brightened at that, a smile on his face for the first time. ‘Thank you, oh thank you!’ Still smiling, he turned and left.
Beatrix sighed deeply. She was a compassionate pony, and she found it hard to say no to the young stallion. The realisation of what she now had to do had finally sunk in. How was she to battle an ursa major and survive?
She spent a sleepless night tossing and turning in worry. The question gnawed at her, making her almost sick. The next day she spent all the time she could training and training. Lifting heavy branches to strengthen her telekinesis, and making the same branches explode to test her skill at what I believe is called magic arrows. At least, that’s what the books your uncle reads call them.
Finally, the next day she was ready. The young stallion told her where to go: ‘Deep in the forest past the butterfly glen and the reflection pool’.
Beatrix donned her robe and wizard cap and set off for the forest. The walk was long and tiring. Many times she stopped to rest, but not for long. In the butterfly glen she stopped to watch the butterflies flit about, some even landing on her. She stared at her reflection in the pond for a while, gathering the courage to continue on. With a gulp, she started for the cave again.
The ursa was already awake and lurking about its cave. She leapt at it, firing her magic arrows at it.
They bounced off.
Angry, the ursa turned towards her. He swiped at her, but she floated away before heis blow could land.
In a panic, she used the first spell that came to mind – a simple illusion spell that would make a loud noise.
The ursa froze when he heard the echoing roar of her spell. In his brutish folly, he thought it was an even bigger ursa. He turned tail and ran, leaving his cave behind.
Beatrix smiled at her own ability, and returned to the town where she was praised as a hero. And from that day forth she was known as the Astonishing and Spectacular Beatrix, Vanquisher of the Ursa Major!
“What’s the worst that could happen?” asked Lyra, rapping the door.
“Lots of things,” answered Trixie.
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” That was Carrot Top, the de facto leader of this motley crew of ponies. They numbered five: herself, Lyra, Trixie, Colgate, and Daydancer, a photographer pony.
“Well, we should do something about the door,” Colgate pointed out.
The door was inset in a sheer cliff face. It had the appearance of rock, but Lyra had distinctly felt wood when she rapped on it. According to popular legend, it had been sealed by Nightmare Moon before her banishment, and held great wealth inside.
Carrot Top, being a fantastic secret archaeologist, had uncovered the location of the Nightmare’s hoard. She recruited each of the ponies for various reasons. Trixie because having a magician on hoof was quite useful. Lyra and Colgate because, hey, why not have as many unicorns as possible? Daydancer was there purely as a chronicler of events.
“Okay, you guys,” Daydancer said, “why don’t cha all group up by the door and I’ll take a picture?”
They all grouped up, Carrot Top in the front and the other mares behind her. With a flash, the picture was taken. Daydancer fished the rapidly developing picture out of the camera. She offered it to Carrot Top, who took it. Holding her flashlight up to see the picture, Carrot Top took a quick look at it.
Lyra was sticking her tongue out at the camera, and her sister was glaring at her. Aside from that, it was a good picture. Trixie bore her usual smug grin, and Carrot Top looked quite dapper in her Daring-Do-esque adventuring outfit. She pushed up the brim of her hat with a smile.
Checking her watch, Carrot Top said, “By my watch there should only be a few minutes until the door opens. Get in position, everypony.”
Trixie and Lyra exchanged glances. “What positions would those be?” Lyra asked, scratching her head.
“Uh…” Carrot Top frowned. “Well, like… we don’t really know what’s in there. So, just like, get behind some cover. Trixie, you’ll be closest to the door so you can zap anything that looks to be mean.”
Trixie nodded, and they all took up positions behind various rocks. Carrot Top glanced up at the night sky. The moon was almost at its zenith, which was when the door would open. Tapping her hoof impatiently, Carrot Top turned her gaze to the door.
Several minutes passed. Carrot Top broke out into a sweat as a horrifying thought crossed her mind. What if she were wrong? What if she had the date wrong?
As soon as she had that thought, the door swung open, glowing a dim purple. Carrot Top sighed in relief, and started towards the door. A bright blue burst of energy shot into the dark opening, and she heard something shatter.
With an irritated glance at an embarrassed-looking Trixie, Carrot Top crossed the threshold into the hoard. Shining her flashlight at what Trixie had destroyed, she sighed.
“Congrats, Trixie. You killed a pot.”
Trixie flashed a sheepish grin. “It was a very threatening pot.”
“Uh-huh.”
Carrot Top shone her light on the inner parts of the cave. There was a bookshelf full to burst with books. Taking a careful step forward, Carrot Top withdrew one of the books. She flipped it open, half-expecting not to be able to read it.
As soon as she flipped it open, the pages withered away. With an annoyed grunt, she set it aside. Maybe it was just a fluke…
She pulled out another book. Opening it, she found the same thing happening. This time she couldn’t help herself. Carrot Top threw the book down, heart pounding with rage. The only treasures her were books, and the books were magically enchanted to prevent ponies like her from stealing them.
“Oh,” came a voice from behind her. “I seem to have interrupted something.”
Turning, Carrot Top found herself face to face with Princess Luna herself. She fell prostrate before the princess.
“Please rise,” Luna said. “I only wished to destroy these books before anypony could find them. But I see I placed some precautions, even in my madness.”
“Sorry to step on your hooves,” was all Carrot Top could think to say. “If I had known–”
“If you had known, you would not have come?” finished Luna. “Perhaps it is better you came. The lesson that there are some things not meant for pony eyes is a… harsh one.” She sounded as though she was speaking for experience, which she probably was, given her past. “Please, leave us – me – alone here. I have much to do.”
“Yes, Princess,” Carrot Top said, backing out of the cave.
Shaking her head, she waved her friends to follow her back home. It was hard to believe… Meeting the princess of the night, and speaking so casually to her…
It was definitely something Carrot Top would treasure experiencing.
