> The Pirate and His Maiden
>  by The Princess Rarity
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> The Pirate and His Maiden
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Argh! C'mere, you fair maiden! We've got some swashbuckling t' do!" Pipsqueak waved his tiny plastic sword about and chuckled.

Silver Spoon, who was standing beside him, rolled her eyes and let out a deep sigh. "Do you even know what that word means?" she questioned.

"Argh, don't you question the rules of yer captain, missy! 'Er I'll make ya walk the plank!" 

"What plank? We don't have one, let alone a ship!"

A moment of silence passed between the two of them before Pipsqueak ran off, soon rushing back with a piece of driftwood in his mouth. He dropped it on the dusty dirt ground and grinned. "There's yer plank, missy!"

Silver Spoon facehoofed, letting out a groan. "Fine, Captain." she grumbled. "What, er, swashbuckling are we supposed to do?"

It's not like she actually enjoyed hanging out with this dweeb and his awkward obsession of pirates, it's just... well, let's just say he made her laugh.

"Well..." Pipsqueak paused for a moment. "Argh! Me thinks I see a villain!" He ran over to a harmless turtle, who was just making his way through the meadow.

"Really?" Silver Spoon said bluntly, her expression bored and bland. "That's your villain?"

"You've got a better idea, missy?"

Trotting over to the young colt and the turtle, Silver thought for a moment. "Well, he can't be a turtle. I mean, how lame is that?"

"What have you got then?" Pipsqueak inquired.

The filly rolled her eyes. "I don't know, maybe he... breathes fire?" 

"Argh, missy, you've got a fine imagination, do ya know that?" the colt grinned.

Silver Spoon held back a blush, but rolled her eyes once more. She didn't want to seem like this dweeb had made her feel, well, anything. He was a dweeb. A dork. Uncool. And if anypony caught her mingling with him, they'd think she was uncool! ... What a nightmare. She shivered at the thought.

"You alright, Sil?" Pipsqueak asked. "You're seeming awfully quiet."

"I'm fine." she said quickly. "And don't call me Sil."

He shrugged. "Alright, love."

A light pink crossed her cheeks. Love? Oh, wait. She quickly realized that was a term everypony in Trottingham used. Nothing special. But it didn't matter! She could care less what he said to her.

"So, you care to beat our fire-breathing turtle?" Pip held out his sword for her and smiled.

Silver Spoon cocked her head to the side. "Really, dweeb? You want me to slay that thing?"

"Looks 'er deceiving, missy! That there beast is a, uh, beast!" the colt dressed as a pirate glared at the turtle, who had barely moved a foot since the two little ponies had made their way over.

"The beast is a beast?" the filly rolled her eyes. "Oh, what fabulous logic you have, Captain."

"Yer right there, missy! Now slay the turtle, 'er yer walkin' tha plank!"

Letting out a deep sigh, Silver Spoon took the fake sword from her companion and stole a glance at the turtle, only before lightly tapping the animal on it's shell.

"Argh! What's that, missy? That ain't no slaying!" Pipsqueak said, with a frown. "Ya've got t' put yer heart in slaying the beast!"

"But, I..." the filly shook her head and sighed. Attacking turtles with plastic swords really wasn't her idea of fun, she'd rather just go walk through the forest with Pipsqueak instead, claiming that the two of them were looking for buried treasure. "Uh, argh? You there, turtle... thing. Feel my, uh, super awesomeness?" She hit the turtle on the shell with the sword once more and this time, it recoiled into it's home.

"That's right, ya varmint!" Pipsqueak bellowed, shaking a hoof at the animal. "Ya can go cowering into that shell of yer's but ya ain't 'ever gonna escape the wrath of Pipsqueak the Pirate and his fair maiden known as Silver Spoon!"

Said filly couldn't help but giggle as she watched Pipsqueak yell at the turtle, as if it had done something wrong, and she handed the sword back to her, dare she say it, friend.

... Friend. Yes, Diamond Tiara was one, but really, more or less, just for popularity. Silver Spoon never had this kind of fun with Diamond. The two of them were always making fun of the other children in Ponyville, or going shopping with their fathers' money. That really wasn't as fun as being Pipsqueak's maiden.

... She'd never say that out loud, though.

"C'mon, maiden!" Pip smiled, running through the meadow. "We've got us a few more rapscallions to beat!"

Rolling her eyes and placing her 'cool' side on once more, Silver began slowly trotting through the crisp green grass and headed for the colt.

"Can't we take a break?" she whined. "My legs hurt."

"The pirate must always attend to his maiden!" Pipsqueak exclaimed, running to the side of the filly and wrapping one of her forelegs around his neck.

"What are you doing?" she said simply, her eyebrows knit.

"Attending to my maiden, as I said." he replied, with a grin. "Pirate rule #56."

Silver Spoon managed a grin. She wasn't really that tired, but nonetheless, she nuzzled Pip's neck and smiled. 

"Thank you, Captain." she said, sweetly, kissing his cheek.

Now nothing but a blubbering mess, Pipsqueak and his maiden walked through the meadow together; their own separate adventures taking place in their minds.