> Elysium's Purgatory > by Omega Rain > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Awakening > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Can you hear me? I'll need to do some tests with you." A voice somewhere says to me. I just barely open my eyes and see a pony in a doctors outfit. I open my mouth to say something, but no words come out. He says something, I don't know what, before I black out. "This first test will just see if you remember what happened and who you are. Your name is Omega Rain, correct? Nod your head or say yes if true." The doctor hangs over me. I open my mouth to say yes, but then just nod my head. "Good. Now, do you remember how old you are?" I think to myself for a minute, then shake my head. He forces me to drink a cup of water and looks at a file in his hoof. "Says here that you are in the part of your life between being a colt and stallion. Testing will go on later." He gets off a wooden stool and walks out the room. I reach for the cup, but as I bring it towards me, the cup falls to the ground and shatters. This is going to be hard to get used to. My eyes open again from a dreamless sleep to the doctor hovering even closer to my face. "Awake again. Again, I have some simple questions for you. I'm going to test your voice today. Do you remember if you are a pegasi or unicorn?" He makes me sip some warm, bitter liquid that I want to spit out. I open my lips and mouth out the obvious word to me, "Normal." He nods. I lift my head to look out the window, but it falls back on the pillow after a few seconds. The doctor jumps when the door is knocked on and creaks open. "Mr. Rain has some visitors." A female nurse leads in a couple ponies that I faintly recognize. A cute filly with a bow in her mane and a mare with a cowboy hat. What are their names? "Applejack and Apple Bloom are here." Oh right. "I haven't seen you in ages, Apple Bloom." I say so quietly she comes over and asks me to repeat myself. "I've missed you. I won't leave you again." I manage to kiss her cheek before my head hits the pillow and random tears form in my eyes. Probably the only thing I remember closely is how I avoided fillies as much as possible. Can't say I really remember why, though. Applejack shakes her head in disapproval, but eventually grabs a tissue and wipes the tears from my eyes. "Please leave me alone with Apple Bloom. I need time to catch up with her." My eyes fill with tears again. Not like I'm going to rape her. She starts to protest, but somehow, I get her to stop by shaking my head. "Don't worry, ma'm. We'll watch over them." The doctor assures her. Thank Celestia for him. He and the nurse drag her out the door and lock it after the doctor rushes inside. I mouth a thank you to the doctor and stare at Apple Bloom and blink to see clearly. She walks over and sits down in the spin chair. The doctor glances over from whatever he was doing and stares at us. "Lay with me." I whisper when she looks at the ground nervously, probably thinking of what punishments she might get for this. I extend my left arm towards her, amazed by how hard it is to move, and try to ruffle her mane. It seems like I can remember all the moments with Apple Bloom, but no other ones. As I expect, she blushes, then climbs on the bed. We lay face to face and I can't help but to smile from ear to ear. "How long was I out?" "A week." She says almost immediately and stares back at the doctor, who snaps back to looking at a paper and writing on it. "When you were helping Rarity get some gems, a big rock fell and hit you in the head. We didn't hear about it until after you were put in the hospital." I nod and put an arm around her. "Why is Applejack so mad about us being... good friends?" Maybe good friends isn't the "exact" way to describe it. It's more of a "I love Apple Bloom, and she thinks of me as a good friend" kind of thing. Maybe that's why she's mad. She shrugs and turns over on her belly, now with her head buried in the warm pillow. The cover turns dark around where her eyes are and leaves the pillow wet. I manage to turn her head and wipe tears from her eyes. "What's wrong? I'm here for you, so you can tell me." I smile warmly. She mumbles something that I can't hear and pushes her head into my neck. "Whisper it into my ear." She moves her head from my neck and to my left ear. "What do you think would be the punishment if Applejack saw me like this? I'm already in trouble for draggin' her here without asking." As I open my mouth to say "Who cares," My head falls on her chest and I'm out of it. A light turns on, leaving me in the middle. I stand up and walk out of the circle. A path of lights lead the way to a room with a red door. The door creaks open and I see a body in the middle of the tile floor. I walk towards it and the door slams shut behind me. Odd, but I can see that the body is one of a fillies. I turn it over and jump back at the door. Apple Bloom is laying on the ground, moaning now with her tail in between her legs. "Go on with your dream. It's what you've always wanted to do with her, isn't it? Here are more fillies for you, just to catch you up with your filly fetish." A voice says and more lights flicker on. As he said, more fillies fill the rusty room in the same position as Apple Bloom. I stay where I am, hoping that something will happen. "What, not satisfied? You can't run away from who you truly are, and you know that. We know that." Another light turns on behind me and someone walks out of it. He looks like me... except he has wings. "Surprise! It's me... or should I say, you. And no one knows you better than yourself. So, go on, live on your best dream. There are more fillies here than you can imagine!" A confused look is on my face. "Who the hell are you? What is this? You can't be me, I mean, you have wings! I'm not a pegasus, so how are you me?" He smiles, "Pardon the overused saying but, I am you, and you are me. I am you from the future. Custom built wings, these are. You will order them in the future. Titanium metal, and the functioning wings are made of sharpened diamond. Oh, did I tell you how you will try and stop your... Hmmm.... We'll call it fetish, but it's actually a disorder. Y'know what, I'll tell you after you" He bangs his front hooves together in the air. "Apple Bloom. Pure of heart, cute as hell, that's why we like her." I look at the wings again and realize they're dripping with blood. How did I miss that on first glance? "You make this sound confusing. Saying we and that kind of thing. Since you are the future me, where did you get the wings, and how did you afford them?" He walks over to Apple Bloom and starts petting her mane. "You waste precious filly time. You'll learn where I got them and how I paid it off soon enough. And from what I'm seeing now, you're leaving the fillies to me." He walks up to me and we're face to face. Odd how I've been face to face with so many ponies lately. He spins around and I feel the blade slice my neck. > Remembering My Past Life > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I wake up, sweat pouring down my face, and shaking nervously. The moonlight illuminates the room just enough so I can see just about half of the room. I look down to see if Apple Bloom is still in my arms, not expecting her to be there. And my guess is right. Every negative thing I guess comes true, and every positive thing I imagine is ruined by something or somepony. Guess life can't be that easy for me, can it? A memory from the past plays in my head. I'm walking up a bell tower after my town was obliterated by some disaster I can't imagine, to end my life. Applejack and a rainbow pony are going back to Ponyville after they conclude I'm the only survivor from my town, and after Applejack gave me her rope and I told them to leave me alone. How foolish I was then. I get to the top and pull out the rope. I tie one end to a large piece of wood surprisingly still intact and tie the other end around my neck. Suicide was the only answer for me back then, I mean, my entire family was killed, and my town was destroyed. When I jumped, they saw me and saved me. Applejack undid the knot and the rainbow pony saved me from breaking my legs. I have so much to owe them, but I got carried away with trying to seduce Apple Bloom. That's why I decided to push on with my life instead of slipping away silently. Can't really say why it's Apple Bloom I love, there are lots more fillies, but I just do with pretty much all of my heart. I snap back to reality and look around the room. A note is on the small table next to my bed and I pick it up. A barely readable handwriting is scribbled on the paper. I take it from the table and try to make sense of the writing. I notice something immediately at the bottom of the paper that makes me oddly hug the paper. There's a signature of Apple Bloom's name with a hoof print next to it. Now to decipher the scratches all over the paper. Dear Omega, I'm sorry I have to leave so early. The nurse says Applejack is going insane out in the waiting room. I hope you make a good recovery. If you get out of the hospital early, I'll be at our treehouse. Don't be seen by Big Mac though, I don't think he likes you any better after you knocked him out. Maybe even you could join the Cutie Mark Crusaders, you don't have your cutie mark either. Cya in a while. Apple Bloom then signs her name. Oh yes, Big Mac. I remember that scene. I was out looking for Apple Bloom or Applejack, I can't remember which one, and Apple Bloom came up to me in tears. That was my second day of being in Ponyville, too. She said Big Mac gave her some harsh punishment, and he saw me talking to her in the distance. I remember walking up to him and calling him a disgrace to Equestria. That soon escaladed into a fight. Big Mac did kick my ass, but when Apple Bloom came in the middle of the fight, he threw her away and made her unconscious. That made me mad, to say the least. Surprisingly, that built up anger was the reason I won the fight. The first hit knocked him to the ground, and the second one made him go out cold. The door creaks open and the doctor comes in. Then I realize how much time has passed since I woke up, as the sun is lighting up the entire room. "Ah, I see you're already awake. Are you comfortable with testing your legs today?" He takes a side of railing off the bed so I can get out. I nod my head. I want to get out of this damn hospital and to Apple Bloom. Then I realize how desperate I am. He pulls me off the bed with a bit of effort and stands straight again. "Do what you would normally do to trot." After a while of trying and falling down, I manage to stand up and trot a few steps before I sit down on the floor. "So, is that little filly, Apple Bloom, your little sister? You seem to love her a lot." Funny. I smile and coldly say, "No. And thanks for noticing. I thought your notes would have something on my 'disorder'." I stand up and walk back to the stand. The note fits perfectly in the only pocket on my vest. I turn to him. "Do you know where I can get some wings?" He shakes his head. Very helpful. I trip out the door and into the hallway. It's filled with rooms of sick ponies. At the end, there is a flight of stairs that is clear. The doctor runs out of the room and shouts at me to come back. I charge at the stairs and fall down the flight to the first floor. As I stand back up, a wall of nurses and doctors surround me. Are they really this pissed because one patient is escaping the hospital? I see a tray of medical tools to the side. Be known as a deranged killer in all of Equestria, or run past the guards? One of the doctors lunges at me, and by instinct, I buck him in the face. The line breaks and I run between the small opening, almost being caught by them. My legs burn from the run, even though it is a short distance, and I feel like quitting now, but I'm guessing that would keep me here longer for half-assed reasons. I run out the door and into the outside world I had been trapped from for what feels like forever. The hospital workers are shouting at me to come back, but I run even longer and, when my legs give out, I crawl into a bush so they won't see me. Why do I do this just for Apple Bloom, other than I love her. Hell, why do I even love her? I should be interested in girls my age, but I guess I'm not. I think of what the "real me" said in the dream, about why I love her. She's cute and very innocent, but every filly is like that, right? I do like mares, but I still prefer fillies. Maybe it's her personality that I love. Maybe her blank flank is what attracts me. And Cutie Mark Crusaders? Does that mean she has other friends with blank flanks? So I'd get to hang out with her filly friends since I don't have a cutie mark. Good. I can't imagine how cute they'll be. Fuck, I'm sick in the head. There's not much I can do about it though. Not sure how therapy would work, and that just takes up more time from me socializing with Apple Bloom. And I have no other idea in how I can treat this. The needles scratch and irritate my back, so I stand up and put a huge bit of effort into standing up with my still burning legs. The sun is in the middle of the sky, so I'm guessing I could get to her tree house in a couple hours or so, in the weak condition I'm in. As I get into the Ponyville Center, I feel like laying down in the middle of the street and resting my legs. Then I see a stand with a couple ponies in front with an older looking stallion running it. How can I tell he's old? Well, his face is sagging, he has a long, curly beard, and the smell of baby powder eminates from him. And I notice everypony there is either normal or a unicorn. The board says "Custom Built Wings!", so I'm guessing this is what the future me was talking about. No price listed though. I look through a piece of paper listing all the options for the wings. Titanium and diamond are at the bottoms of the two sheets, and I find that appropriate. Both cost five hundred bits each, so, I probably won't be able to get it. He finishes talking to a unicorn and slides a paper over to me. "You seem interested, and at a young age, too. Between me and you, we can figure something out if you don't have the bits to pay here. So fill out this form to your option, and I'll get the wings to you as soon as possible." His breath smells like a strong brew of apple cider as he leans in, so I jerk my head back from the smell. As surprising as it seems, he isn't drunk from all the cider. I look at the paper. It's pretty simple, only a few lines long with a special request taking up most of the space. First line is the name of receiver. I take a quill in my mouth that is sitting around the stand and attempt to write my name. Not that good, but I haven't written since I was last in school... Which was probably a few months ago, but still, the signature isn't that good. Second line, wing support material. I scribble down titanium and the price. General wing material, again I write down diamond and the price for some reason. For the special request, I think of what the me from the future had on his wings. Right, the lower edges of every wing blade was sharpened in the dream. He takes the paper away as I finish writing "sharpened wing blades" and scans over it. He grins and writes a number on it. 1,200 bits. "Plus 200 bits for labor purposes. Let's meet at the Sugarcube Corner tomorrow at noon. We'll work something out for the wings." Then he slides a white oval shaped thing over the counter and a small cup of water. "Take it. Just swallow it and you'll feel better." How would he know that? Maybe it'll work, this thing. I probably should be questioning this, but I just swallow it without the water. He comes out from behind the stand and pushes me towards the direction of the Acres. "Get off to your friends! Don't forget tomorrow!" I trot forward like I usually do, and start to gallop. The sun is turning orange and the moon is visible out of the corner of my eye. Sometimes, I do wonder what Equestria would be like if Luna ran it. That certainly would be interesting. It's also odd how time is going by so fast when all I've done is walk and talk to the pony back there. I stand on the road to the main barn and look at the orchard full of apple trees. Yes, it's good to be back at the first temporary place I stayed when I first got to Ponyville. Now to sneak to the tree house. I check around to see if Applejack or Macintosh are watching and gallop into the direction that I assume the house is in. After a few minutes of galloping, I see the it after I cut into the woods. Took longer to get here than I expected, but I'm still here to see Apple Bloom. I knock on the door and, when it opens, I fall flat on my face. So my legs don't burn anymore, but now I have a headache. Apple Bloom shakes me to see if I'm awake. I turn my head and say, "Hi Apple Bloom." Then I black out. Blood flows from my neck, but I feel nothing of it. I feel a tap on my shoulder and I turn around to see "me." He waves and turns around. He pulls two fillies out of nowhere and kisses them both on their flanks. "Jeez, man! I didn't need to see myself do that. If I wanted to see that, I could have just done it myself." I say, but smile afterwards, realizing how awkward that sounds. He laughs and pats me on the back. Then he looks at me seriously. "Oh, you're serious? Well, let's get back to that later. Since I know you wont have any sexual implications with these fillies while someone is around, and I'm not allowed to leave you alone in your nightmares, I'll tell you how you're going to deal with your disorder. Hmm... I guess I shouldn't spoil anything, so it involves that old pony you talked to earlier. It's how you'll pay him. That's all I'm going to say about that. Say hello to Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. They're Apple Bloom's friends. You'll fall for one of them soon enough. Saying which one will only ruin the surprise, so I'll leave it at that." He kisses one of them again to annoy me and says, "Sweetie Belle," Then he points at the other filly. "And Scootaloo." They seem like... Emotionless. Surely they aren't like this, I mean, everyone would refuse to do this sort of thing, I'm pretty sure. "Come here. Have some fun." He pushes me forward with the front of a wing and forces my head towards Sweetie Belle's flank. I twitch my head sideways, making my cheek hit her flank. "Come on! You won't get out of here untill you do it!" "Let go of me then." My voice is muffled because about half of my mouth is forced against her body. He takes his hooves off my neck and backs up behind Scootaloo. I bend forward, close my eyes, and form my lips around a small area. As bad as it is to say, that was pretty erotic. I turn around and look at him. He smiles then points into darkness. A white light is lifting and becoming larger. A door I'm guessing? I look back and see him starting to mount Sweetie Belle. Celestia damn it. I don't hesitate when I start to gallop into the blinding light. My ears start ringing and everything turns dark. Time for real sleep? > Way Back When > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- My eyes open to a "mature" me. He turns to me and waves. "Hi Omega! Thought you would get out of here, didn't you?" He chuckles and throws the wings on to a wooden table. The crack of wood is a result and dust particles fly from where the blades struck. Sweat drips on me as he hovers over me and hums a ghoulish tune. A lullaby for foals I think, still creepy anyway you put it though. I swear to Celestia, if that's what I think it's from, the sweat... A little disturbing if you think about it. I try to stand up, no idea why, but when I move my hooves forward, they stay in place and I feel an odd material around my legs. "That was fun! Sweetie Belle is good on the hay! Oh, sorry. Am I sweating on you? Some of that might be Sweetie Belle's, so here's more." He flicks some more of the sweat on my face. I lift my head and spit on him. He wipes it off and fidgets with the blades on the wing. The blades fly around my neck and stick in the table. He pounds on the table, next to my head. "Don't do that crap! It's not like you! Oh yeah, if you were wondering, Sweetie Belle tastes a little like a marshmallow. Now! Time for entertainment!" He tears the wing out of the wood and sets it next to my right hoof. A picture of me lights up right in front of my eyes, except, I'm a colt in it. I'm in front of the school house, admiring the fillies at play time. Another colt comes up behind me and rams my head into the metal bar I'm behind. I look up to somepony with a light red mane. Green eyes staring at me, big smirk on his face, he says, "What'cha looking at? Girls you'll never get? You have no chance! Go get a life and maybe you might get a chance... With the nerdiest girl in all of Equestria!" He walks over to the group of fillies and starts talking to them. They laugh occasionally after he says something, visibly making me filled with rage. A couple other colts come up to me and notice the vein bulging in my head and me looking at the group of fillies and the asshole. One of them, the one with a mix of blue and red colors in his mane, pulls me up and asks, "What's up with him? You do somethin' to piss him off? He hasn't been as mean since we got the new teacher." The screen dims and the tune that the mature me was humming comes on. Except this time, with the instruments playing, it's even creepier. "Shh! Show's not over yet, kid! Now that I think of it, I probably shouldn't call you kid. I am, you know, only a couple weeks older than you." He gets off of a rusty bench and, as he says this, spit flys all over me. I look sideways and he is dragging something or somepony out of the dark with his front hooves. As he comes into the light around the table and bench, I can see that he is dragging a fake Apple Bloom on top of some red velvet cushions. "I wonder if Apple Bloom tastes like juicy apples!" After more of his spit hits my body, he pulls the cushions from under Apple Bloom and sets them on the bench, if possible, neatly. It's the same, life-like play doll as the other fillies, as in that they are exact clones of their real life selves, but they don't react the way they would in real life, or in anyway at all, except whenever someone is making love to them. He jumps onto the cushioned bed after he positions Apple Bloom in some odd pose in front of him and some noise like a... Like a "pomf" is made. He squirms around to get comfortable, making the bench scratch the ground occasionally, then pulls Apple Bloom's rear up to his mouth. "Hell no! Do that somewhere else, just not in front of me!" I yell at him. He looks at me with a murderous gaze then lays Apple Bloom on the bench. The bench screeches as he gets up from behind it and pushes it behind me, testing my patience. "Just continue on with it. This dream is taking longer than I would have hoped." "You sure you want to go on? Y'know, you can join in at anytime, with us. Or Sweetie Belle. Or Scootaloo. Maybe even Twist. Well, you're missing out on a great time here. Oh well. Sweetie Belle, play that tape!" Ice cold water splashes on my face and a jolt of energy pulses through me. Thank Luna, that was boring as hell. I wipe the mane covering my eyes back into its original style and open up my eyes to look around the room. My eyes are greeted with a white flank about two feet away from my face. A blank flank. Sweetie Belle? If I'm remembering my dream correctly, that's the young filly's name. I cough or clear my throat, which ever one you prefer, and say, "Your derriere is kinda' in my face. There's no problem with that, it's just a little odd." She immediately jumps in the air, I guess because she is startled, and turns to me. "He's awake!" I wave my hoof at her then lift myself up off the wooden floor. My vest is soaking from the water poured all... Oh shit! My vest! I open the side pocket as fast as I can and tear out the paper Apple Bloom wrote to me. I inspect the whole paper, front and back, all corners, and even the thin sides to see if the letter is ruined. Nothing I can see. Thank Luna, I don't know what I'd do if it was damaged in the slightest. "So you wanna' join the Cutie Mark Crusaders, huh? We'll need to run some tests to see if you're Crusader material." She looks into my eyes intently, curving her head upwards, head probably cramping right about now. "Tests, hmm? Wait a minute, what time is it? I need to get to the Sugarcube Corner by noon. A meeting with someone." I use the same technique I used on Apple Bloom by ruffling Sweetie Belle's mane, then go to a window and open shades to see how far the sun is up in the air. I have some time, only some, because if I'm reading it right, the sun is a little to the east. If I'm looking at it and interpreting it right. I inflate my left cheek then let the air out. "Okay then. Keep an eye on the sun. Not really though, you might go blind. I can do your tests." They huddle up into a group and whisper back and forth between each other. I can understand a few words they say, like "Able?" and "Dunno," but the rest is only remembered by the three fillies. The wooden floor makes an obnoxious noise as I tap my hoof on it, waiting for them to turn around and speak to me. The worst they could do is not pass me as a Crusader. Right? The best they could do is accept me into the group and make me leader, which I doubt will happen, and they don't have a leader, so that idea is partially ruled out. So they are still discussing this. I look out the window again and see that the sun has barely shifted, but time's still wasting away until the meeting. Sweetie Belle looks back at me a couple times, probably trying to determine if I'm okay for the group, then shoots her head back into the discussion. Just for fun, I creep my head in between Apple Bloom's and Sweetie Belle's heads and act if I'm talking with them. They all stare at me oddly and I back away slowly, knowing how awkward I look as I get impatient. "Almost done?" I say as I peek out the window to see the time. Now that I think of it, this is the most I've worried about time. They all turn to me, making me feel small and insignificant. The fillies come closer to me while I back up, creeped out by this gesture. Why? They stop as my back hits the door and I sit down on the floor like a dog. "Since you're in a rush, we can do the tests later. We are so lucky to have Scootaloo with us, because she is our transport...er. Master of the scooter. This is Sweetie Belle, good at crafting and singing and things like that. You know me, so I'm not going into detail. Welcome to the Crusades, Omega." Apple Bloom raises a hoof after the lecture. We hoof-bump, me with sweaty hooves and her with a confident, smug look on her face. She then faces Scootaloo and nods her head slightly. "Follow me. I can take you where you need to go." She pushes me out of the way and opens the door. I wait for her to go out first, thinking that it's a polite thing to do, but she waits for me to go. "After you." She extends an arm outside. I look back at Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom and wave to them as I back out of the tree house. They wave back to me, Sweetie Belle reluctantly, before Scootaloo slams the door shut. She takes the lead and pulls a scooter and wagon out from beneath a bench when I follow her down the ramp. As I walk forward towards the wagon, something collides with my chest, causing me to jump subtly. The filly is holding out a small helmet, herself wearing a purple one with white stripes down the middle. I take it out of her hooves ever so slightly and try fitting it over my head. It's a tight fit, but it does the job right, I guess. "You can sit in the wagon." I take a seat in the red wagon and get comfortable. I find a hay pillow next to me and put it between my back and the smooth metal, becoming even more relaxed. Scootaloo grabs the handles and pushes us forward by impelling her hoof across the ground. "It's just you three in the Crusades? I would think more fillies and colts would be looking for their special talents. Right?" I readjust the pillow then crack my neck while waiting for her to respond. Not very talkative, is she? "Yeah, it's a small world we live in." She looks back to me quickly then looks back on the road. "There's another Crusader, she just lives in Manehattan right now. She's Apple Bloom's cousin." We hit a bump in the road and the scooter jumps in the air, causing me to sit up and almost lose the pillow in the process. Scootaloo cheers happily and looks back at me. "That was cool, right? Don't you like the feel of adrenaline running through you?" I nod my head, not exactly sure how to feel about that. "You aren't from around here, right? Almost everypony at school has their cutie mark, except us." She pulls over into the grass then stares at me. I look behind me to see if there is anyone else she might actually be looking at, but there isn't anyone behind me. "What'cha looking at, Scootaloo? I need to get to the Sugarcube Corner right now." I look around again, once more checking if she's looking at me or something else. Actually, I see nopony around except us. I look back at her then open my mouth to say something. Scootaloo raises up a hoof and puts it on my lips. "Love me, Omega. Touch my body." She whispers into my ear. She takes my left hoof in her front hooves and forces me to brush her mane. I pull my hoof away as soon as she lets go and wipe it on my vest. "Scootaloo, listen to me. I'm going to be straight with you, okay? I don't like you. Not as much as Apple Bloom. I want to have a thing with Apple Bloom, live with her the rest of my life. I've got nothing against you, that's just all." I step out of the wagon and trot up the path. "Omega, wake up! We've got business to attend to." I feel a hoof on my shoulder shaking me. My face is covered in frosting and crumbs from me passing out and my head falling on the half-eaten cupcake. I look to my side and see a napkin dispenser. I grab one and wipe my face clean with it. Then I pick up the cupcake and take a bite out of it. Tastes like fruit with a bit of carrot mixed in. "Got a family?" I finish chewing then swallow the sweet. "A couple months ago, my town was destroyed. I'm the only survivor. So my parents are dead. I have good friends though. A filly named Apple Bloom." I look up from the plate and see a partially drunk glass of water. The old stallion pushes it towards me and I take a sip from it. "Who exactly are you?" He takes a bite out the pastry on his plate. With a full mouth, he says, "My name's Shadow Rise. I'm like you in the way that I don't have real wings or a magical horn. I had a pegasus as a girlfriend back when I got the idea for the custom built wings business. I studied her while she was flying and designed the wing style. She was amazed when I tested the wings and they worked. I just broke leg the first time I flew." He smiles then burps after chugging his cup of water. "Don't take this the wrong way, but you got any mental problems?" I look around, checking to see if anyone is listening to us, then whisper, "Umm... I have a filly fetish. Somepony told me it's a disorder, but he and a couple friends are the only ones who know I have the fetish. I want to deal with it, but there's a filly that I... L-love." I lean back and see Mrs. Cake walk by. "Can I get another cupcake please?" She nods and goes behind the counter. He looks at the ceiling then back down at me again. "How strong is your love for her. I'm guessing Apple Bloom is the filly you love?" Mrs. Cake sets down a plate with another cupcake. "Thanks. These are great." She smiles back at me then walks away. "Could you tell how much I love her if I said I want to marry her? If I said I would give my life to save hers?" I pick up the cupcake and lick off the pink frosting. I love frosting. "You ever feel that way about your girlfriend?" He nods his head, hooves covering his eyes. A tear rolls down his cheek. "What's wrong? Did your girlfriend... pass away? Or break up with you?" He shakes his head, wiping tears out of his eyes. "It's uh... Nothing. She's still alive, and we're married. It's just something else on my mind. My son is missing. That's all. I don't want to discuss it." He gulps then wipes a final tear streaming down his cheek. "Have you ever killed somepony before?" I walk out of the Corner, terrified but intruiged by Shadow's way of paying off the debt. In a couple days, I'm supposed to meet him at the booth. He's supposed to take me some where to show where we're going to operate. I'm fucking crazy for accepting the idea, but I thought it might actually get rid of my disorder. I mean, it's a horrifying idea, but it might cure my soul and scar me for life. Making various products of... A sick feeling is deep inside me. Making various products made of... Colts and fillies. What the hell have I done? But I can't back out of this now, we've planned too far to abandon this now. I stumble through the door to the clubhouse. I still feel sick. In the mind. The body. The Crusaders look at me as I trip over my hooves and lay down in a corner of the room. My eyes start to water. What will happen to the Crusaders? Maybe I could try to persaude Shadow to leave these fillies out of all this... The hell that will be on earth. "Apple Bloom." I shout out loud, causing them all to look at me. I tap my hoof on the floor. "Come here." She stands up, looks back at Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, then trots slowly over to me. "Can you tell them to wait outside for a little?" They all hear, but are unsure whether to leave or not. Apple Bloom looks at the door and nods. They look back then walk out the door, just as confused as Apple Bloom looks. "Lay down with me please. I just need to say a couple things." Apple Bloom lays down with her legs sprawled out all over. "What's up?" She says softly. I smile through the tears as she tries to eat a small caramel square, probably what they tried today to get their cutie marks. I look into her eyes as best as I can. "You know I like you. Just... Whatever happens, I want you know that, that will never change. I don't want to explain what else is up, I don't want to scare you." I feel like I need to explain it further. "Apple Bloom, do you understand what I mean by like? I don't mean the friend kind of like. I mean the... Love way of like. Like I want to spend eternity with you. And beyond." I stand up and look out the window. Did I just say that? That's what I meant to say, but did I say it like I heard it? Apple Bloom stays quiet for awhile. Then I hear her come behind me. I turn to her and slowly unwrap the ribbon accesorizing her beautiful red mane. She blushes but then turns away. "I-I'm sorry Omega. Very sorry. But there's a colt I like at school." I drop the ribbon. All of my body is shaking, filling with anger and I punch the wall. My hoof breaks a hole in the wall and stings like hell. Apple Bloom backs away slowly. "Wait! Who is it?" I say more lethaly than I mean. A tear forms in my right eye and runs into my mouth as I resist cursing out loud and release whimpering, leaving a salty taste in my mouth. So this is how shitty it feels to get turned down? I feel sorry for any friends who got rejected. "Now!" "I don't want him involved in this! Okay, his name is Moonrise! Leave him out of this, please!" Oh, I'll leave him out of this. Leave him dead! "Okay. Can I have some time alone, please?" I take a deep breath then pull my hoof out of the wall. She takes her bow and puts it back in her mane. "See you tomorrow." I turn to her and kiss her on the cheek. Better make the time we have left together be okay at least, even if it means ruining our friendship. She slams the door on her way out. I let out a stream of curses and lay down on the ground. "Ready for the tape? Again, you can join in with me and Apple Bloom. Best sex in the world!" The older me shouts from behind me. "Shut the hell up! Play the damn tape already! I'm tired of this shit, everything today!" I look at him and yell out of my rage. "Ooh! Seems like someone is angry! Sweetie Belle, my darling, play the tape!" The screen lights up snow white. Then a picture of me and... My dad. My eyes tear up again. I miss Dad. Why couldn't he have survived? Why couldn't somebody I love survive? Why leave me on my own and... We're playing hide and seek, my favorite colt's game. He is counting, and I hide under my bed. He reaches 100 and comes looking for me. He comes into my room and looks around. He doesn't see anything and is about to leave ro look somewhere else, but then he comes back in and checks under the bed. "Found you!" I come out, giggling and then hug him. Tears pour out of my eyes like a river and fill my mouth with the taste while I whimper, missing those days when we would be playing together, not expecting that we would never see each other when I grew a little older. After blinking a couple times, I notice that someone I know looks faintly similar to Dad. Shadow Rise. "Daddy, I love you." The colt me and I myself say at the same time. "T-t-turn this crap o-off!" I barely manage to say because of all of my whimpering. I tug at my shackles, wanting to leave this dream. "Someone's sad that Dad's dead. Or are you smart enough to realize your partner in crime is him. Shadow Rise?" He slups like he's sucking something. "Take your anger out on Moonrise!" I can see him walk past me me and drag a colt out of the darkness. Must be Moonrise. As Moonrise is dragged into the light, I see simialarities between me and him. White skin, freckles near his nose. I feel the leather constraints come loose around my ankles. I stand and grab the wing on the table, wiping tears out of my eyes. "Go on, rip into his skin. Tear him apart." Saliva runs down the frame from holding the wing in my mouth. I walk towards him. Killing this colt here in my dream won't solve anything. I'm the one who deserves to die for even thinking of murdering him. All because of a filly that I love. I'm not killing him here. No point. My mind plays the hide and seek scene again, leaving me to tear up again, for the thousandth time today. "You bastard. You expect me to kill him? You could have told me my damn dad was alive!" The whimpering starts again. I rush at him, destined to take his life. The blade cuts into his rib, causing blood to pour out of his body. He coughs up blood, leaving some splattered on my face, quickly washed away by my tears. He laughs like a mad pony, leaving blood run down the corners of his mouth. "Daddy, don't leave me! Daddy, you're the best! Don't leave me, okay Dad? Daddy, I love you!" "Shut the fuck up!" I push and twist the blade deeper inside him. He keeps on laughing while I wait for him to die. "Why won't you die already!?" The laughing ceases. "You were never me."