> In Exile No Longer
>  by cunning_linguist
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Chapter 1: River
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	Seven ponies stood in an open field. One group of five watched from afar, silently providing encouragement. A pegasus marched back and forth in front of another, a newcomer who looked neither interested or bemused by the situation. She was often asked if she was “over it”. Her reply was always “I never will be”.

“All right! First, spread your wings!”

The other pegasus obeyed.

“Flap twice, to get a feel for the air currents.”

Again, she obeyed, though her face betrayed the strain.

“Oh, c’mon! You flap like my grandma!”

“Rainbow Dash, you be nice to Riven! She’s still recovering!” came a supportive comment of a certain lavender unicorn.

“I could fly with one wing in a cast and a brace on both hind legs! The least she could do is flap with some kinda urgency!”

Riven sighed and tucked her wings back in. “This is silly. I’m going home.”

“You mean my home? And how do you expect to get there without me carrying you or Twilight teleporting you?”

Riven grumbled bitterly.

“That’s what I thought. Now flap like you got a pair!”

Riven stretched out her wings but paused, looking at her trainer with a confused expression. “A pair of what?”

A chorus of groans and disappointed chides sounded from the crowd. Rainbow rolled her eyes in response. “I’ll think up a better line for mares. In the meantime… FLAP!”




It had been exactly one month to the day since Nocturne’s banishment, Riven’s “death”, and the biggest threat to Equestria in recent memory was averted. Though Riven was initially quite apprehensive about her situation — violently so — nopony blamed her. Her outbursts, physical or otherwise, were tolerated and endured. Her friends reminded her that though her old life might be over, they would share their love so that what laid ahead wouldn’t be so frightening… or lonely.

Riven wasn’t sure how to react to the kind of affection she received, only that throwing kicks wasn’t the proper response. She calmed down in short order and listened to Twilight’s bedside explanation, but before that…

“GET OFF OF ME!”

Riven was weak, frail, and could barely speak let alone fight, yet she found enough strength to not only defeat the telekinetic field of an extremely diminished Twilight Sparkle, but throw her aside bodily as well. A nurse and a doctor joined the fray, though they too were unable to restrain Riven.

Applejack, however, did so with little effort.

“Good… timing…” Twilight breathed, coughing and taking a sip of water from a nearby pitcher.

“Ah was in tha neighborhood,” she explained cheerfully, sitting on Riven’s chest like a boulder. She looked down at the prone pony and smiled warmly. “Now Ah want to get offa ya, y’understand. Ah don’t like treatin’ m’friends in such a manner. But Ah can’t have ya throwin’ a fit and hurtin’ yourself or anypony else. Now, y’gunna behave or should Ah jus’ keep on doin’ my best impression of a mother hen?”

“Can’t… breathe…”

“That’a yes or a no?”

“Yes!”

“Good girl.” True to her word, Applejack climbed down off of Riven, who no longer struggled, either because she didn’t want to be sat on again, or because she could no longer muster the energy required.

The doctor gave Riven a brief examination to ensure nothing had been injured in the scuffle, and then did the same for Twilight. Though the heroic unicorn had mostly recovered from Nocturne’s partial possession and the subsequent ordeal of having it waft through her organs like powdered glass, she was missing fur in several large patches (covered by a fashionable purple sweater knitted by Rarity, of course), couldn’t exert herself for long periods of time without collapsing in a breathless heap, and could not perform anything but the simplest of spells. Her family visited regularly, both to look after her as well as Spike, who still could not digest solid food.

“Are you… *cough* all right… Riven? *wheeze*”

“I’m fine,” Riven groused. She looked at Twilight now, and though she was smiling and putting on a brave face, the undeniable pang of regret struck her heart. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“It’s… all right,” Applejack helped Twilight up onto the bed. She curled up less than a foot away from the mocha-colored mare. Applejack joined her, providing comforting nuzzles. It helped, they would all admit. Even Riven felt some relief whenever she was affectionately touched now. Twilight would later explain that despite millions of years of evolution, ponies were still herd animals and thus found comfort in groups. Riven now shared that instinct.

“You’re… awfully strong, Riven,” Twilight coughed again, taking a deep, ragged breath before calming enough to speak normally. “Quite unusual for a pegasus.”

“A what?” With great effort, Riven canted her head down. The sheets had been scattered during her revolt, exposing her body as well as a pair of feathered wings. The gasp of surprise was both legitimate and humorous, as related by the chuckling Applejack and Twilight Sparkle.

“Guess ya got more of yerself in tha spell than Cream said y'would.”

“What do you mean?” 

Twilight sighed and saddled up closer to Riven. She didn’t flinch away. “I’ll explain in more depth when you’re fully recovered. But in summary… your body was destroyed, Riven. Your human body, I mean. We couldn’t salvage it; no unicorn or alicorn present had the strength to heal you. So we did something a bit… unconventional.”

“Cream cracked yer noggin open like a walnut —”

“WHAT?!”

“Applejack, please!”

The farm pony snorted. “Well it’s true. Ah was there. Right nasty business, that.”

“There is a more tactful way of explaining then ‘we cracked your noggin open like a walnut’!”

“Can one of you just continue, please?!”

Riven was practically hysterical. Fearing she would become unruly again, and thus require Applejack to possibly hurt her again, Twilight nodded and rephrased Applejack’s earlier explanation. “We had to preserve your brain, Riven. It was the only spell Cream had the energy for. After a night’s rest, he took a… uh… sample… of you… and grew a new body.” Twilight gestured haphazardly at all of Riven. “That’s the result.”

“I was cloned?! But… how?” Riven was frantic; stuttering. She demanded an explanation but her wild mind couldn’t process the words to just simply ask. Instead, she cycled through a million insane scenarios of pony mad science and grotesque experimentation. “If you cloned me, I should have been a human!”

“The preservation spell was failing; the genetic samples we needed were decomposing and we had to find a substitute. So… we asked for a volunteer… to make up the difference.”

Riven stared at Twilight with wide eyes for only a moment before grunting out her epiphany: “Rainbow Dash.”

Twilight and Applejack both nodded. “She gave a sample of her blood and one of her primaries to grow you a body. The spells we used prioritized your genetic code so that you weren’t just a duplicate of her with your brain. Essentially, you look like yourself if you… well… were born a pony instead of a human.”

“This… is… crazy…” she spoke in ragged breaths. 

“Riven, I know this is a lot to take in, but please, don’t strain yourself. You need to rest; it’s absolutely crucial. Your body, though physically of a mare in her early twenties, is as frail as a newborn foal. I’m frankly shocked you didn’t break something in our earlier scuffle.”

“I can think of a few things I want to break right now…” she snarled.

“Whoa now, missy.” Applejack interjected, stepping between the two mares. “Ya’ll need to corral that attitude, y’hear? A lot was done fer you. Would ya rather be dead? No hope of ever seein’ yer precious Knockers ever again?”

“Noxus,” Riven corrected, her voice a low growl.

“Noxus then. Ah know yer scared and worried. Frankly, Ah’d be too, which is why Ah ain’t sittin’ on ya again. We’re gonna help you through it, sugarcube. Everypony is worried sick about ya, includin’ the princesses. Ah know ol’ Rainbow is especially interested in seein’ the result of what pourin’ her blood into that jar did.”

Riven was so bewildered that she couldn’t see straight. Applejack spoke as if she would one day go home, but she’d already been told that was impossible because no one knew how the hell she arrived in the first place. And now she wasn’t even the same species, for Pete’s sake. That combined with the creaking of her rickety bones and the pain in her heart, and Riven could do nothing but bite her covers and roll over, hiding herself from view.

“Please… just leave me be…”




“C’mon, Riven! You can do it! FLAP!”

“Flap, girl! Ah know ya can!”

“You’re doing it, darling! Just a little harder!”

“Yay!”

“NO PARTY IF YOU CAN’T GET IN THE AIR!”

Everypony looked at Pinky Pie with wide eyes and slack jaws.

“… OK, maybe a little party.”

Riven was sweating bullets. Her body felt like a ton of bricks attempting to get off the ground with a beanie propeller. Everything hurt, right down to the soles of her hooves, which Rainbow Dash insisted should stay flat and widely spaced. After several minutes of exhaustive flapping, Riven let out the breath she hadn’t known she was holding… and rose just a foot.

She collapsed back to the ground, but nopony cared about that. They swarmed her with hugs, nuzzles, and congratulations. Even Rainbow Dash was impressed, not because of the end result, but because Riven was stubborn and never, ever quit.

“Did… did I do it?” she asked deliriously, looking up at her friends with the salt of her perspiration stinging her eyes.

“You sure did, sugarcube! We knew you could!”

“Well, Pinkie? Aren’t we going to go celebrate?” Rarity wasn’t one for physical exertion of any sort, but she couldn’t help but express her delight at how far Riven had come since she left the hospital.

“Of course we are, silly-billy! Pssh, duh! What kind of a question is that? River did soooooooo good!”

“Riven,” Fluttershy corrected, though she was silenced with an outstretched hoof from Riven herself.

“I… don’t mind it. I don’t feel like my old self anymore.” Riven shakily rose to her hooves, aided by each and every one of her friends. “River works.”

“Oh, Riven, don’t say such things,” Twilight sighed, looking sad. “You’re still you. Just… different.”

“River works,” the mocha pegasus insisted, stepping away from her support once she felt sturdy enough to walk on her own. “But… I still want to say goodbye. Can we go before the party?”

Solemnly, they nodded. They had promised, after all, and River had expressed apprehensive interest since the day she was told.

The walk to the cemetery was silent but not slow. River’s pace denoted eagerness, but also fear. She wasn’t sure how she would react, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to leave that old life behind if she couldn’t stand before that headstone and see for herself what everypony had been telling her since she first woke up.

When they arrived, River walked ahead; her friends stayed behind but always within sight. She approached a fresh grave marked with a marble headstone yet untouched by the weather. She stopped at the base of the burial plot and winced as if struck, but she didn’t dare look away. She owed herself more than that.

Buried there was her body — her human body. At the time, River had yet to awaken from her coma. Her pony body was still small and slick, as if just born. In a way, it was, though from a magical test tube, not a dam. The citizens of Ponyville had been told of her heroism and felt it only proper to give their final respects to what remained of Equestria’s one and only human. The turn out was small, but everypony of note was in attendance: Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, princesses Celestia and Luna, Cream, Shining Armor, his lovely wife Cadence, and Spike. They all owed her a great deal, and even though she wasn’t truly gone, the service was still a melancholy affair.

Now River stared at her headstone and felt an odd sensation, one that was hard to identify. It was notably surreal, to be looking at her own grave, but it wasn’t sad. In fact, she felt a warmth blossom in her chest. She was alive. Different, but alive. She smiled.

River, however, could not bring herself to say any final words to… herself. It just felt too weird. So without a sound, she turned and galloped back to her friends, and they embraced her as if welcoming home a long lost friend.


Here lies Riven
Beloved human, hero
May she herself tell her story

> Chapter 2: Foal Steps
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	“I did not consent to this.”

River and Rainbow Dash peered through the outside of the newly repaired right-most window of the Golden Oak library, observing a chipper Twilight Sparkle dusting one of many bookshelves. A job normally reserved for Spike, he was currently in Canterlot being doted upon by the princesses, who believed his ordeal during the Nocturne fiasco should not go unappreciated.

“Oh, c’mon, don’t chicken out now!”

“This is mean-spirited, Rainbow Dash,” River looked at her “sister” with irritation.

“It is not!” She whispered back, hoping River would catch on and likewise lower her voice. “It’s a harmless prank! All in good fun.”

“We have very different ideas of fun.”

“Look, one of the conditions of staying at my pad is helping with a couple of things. First, the dishes. Second, the cooking. Third, the pranking.”

“Had I known being commiserate to cruel practical jokes was one of the stipulations, I would have not taken you up on the offer.”

“Yeah but you’re all moved in now, and I know how much you hate moving.”

River cocked an eyebrow. “How could you know that?”

“Because I hate moving, and you’re my clone.”

“I am not your clone!”

“That’s right, Rainbow Dash. River is physically your genetic duplicate but possesses none of your memories, experiences, or skills.”

Rainbow grunted, clearly outnumbered. “Fine, but that doesn’t mean you c—”

Wait, outnumbered?

Rainbow and River simultaneously looked up at the purple pony in question herself, who smirked at their failed plan. River seemed relieved. Rainbow snapped her mouth shut and grumbled something inaudible.

“I recall your teleportation making a sound before,” River chimed in, rising to her hooves.

“I’ve had a lot of free time to practice lately. You’re both welcome to come in and join me for some tea, if you’d like.”

“That would be lov—”

“Nope, we’re good,” Rainbow interrupted, still peeved that her expertly-crafted prank had backfired. “We’ll see you around, ‘Twi.”

“All right then. Oh, but don’t forget your book!” Twilight kicked a copy of The Equis Trotters — one of her favorite autobiographies — at Rainbow’s hooves and flipped open the cover, which caused a hidden wire to snap and a jet to ink to blast Rainbow in the face. “You owe me a new copy of that, by the way.”

River had deftly jumped to avoid a few stray splotches of ink, but the self-proclaimed “fastest pegasus alive” hadn’t been as nimble. She didn’t appear angry, however; defeated, definitely.

Twilight teleported back into the library and resumed her duties. River approached Rainbow from her left and attempted to hide the bemused grin threatening to split her muzzle. “Are… are you all right, Rainbow Dash?”

“Peachy,” she grumbled and spread her wings. “C’mon. I need to wash off all this shame before lunch.”

River nodded in agreement and the pair took off toward Rainbow’s home. In the many weeks following her acquisition of this new pegasus body, River had become an adequate flier. Despite her rough beginnings, she had taken to the sky with a natural grace, which Rainbow attributed to her “awesome genes”. There was likely some truth to that, though River had always preferred to fail or succeed of her own merits. The idea that she was now only capable of being as talented as her “sister” irked her so much that she dismissed it immediately, and further discussion was met with more threats.

When Riven first arrived, Twilight had made passing mention to many aspects of pony society that she didn’t entirely understand, so she had ignored them. Now that River was so thoroughly ingrained in this alien world, she had to receive a crash course under her “official advisers”, the six Bearers of Harmony.

On the agenda today was her natural magical ability to stand on clouds as if they were solid objects. When she was first told that she possessed this talent, River laughed, calling it ludicrous. Rainbow Dash’s and Fluttershy’s subsequent demonstration shaked her faith but she remained true to its implausibility. Then she tried it herself on a cloud relocated to ground level, and much to her surprise, realized it wasn’t just some clever trick.

“How… am I… standing… on water vapor?”

“Magic,” Rainbow helpfully provided. She and her friends were all trying very hard not to laugh at River’s expression, which stood at some strange impasse between horror and slack-jawed shock.

“I don’t know magic!”

“All ponies have magic, River,” Twilight explained, approaching the shaking pegasus’s front. Her knees were knocking so loudly that it was startling birds out of the nearby trees, much to Fluttershy’s chagrin. “Yours is innate, same with earth ponies. Unicorns have no internal magic, but we can manifest it externally.”

“Get me down, please,” she begged. Twilight giggled and enveloped her in a gentle telekinetic field, lifting her off the cloud and onto solid earth once again. River released a contented sigh.

“Next up on Twilight’s oh-so helpful list,” Rarity began, levitating the parchment over and reading the line underneath “explanation of pony magic”. “The cutie mark. Ah, surely you’ve noticed the mark on your flank?”

The parchment was summarily discarded, but immediately retrieved by Twilight, who neurotically crossed off the aforementioned line.

“I have,” River nodded, cranking her now oddly flexible neck to observe a luminescent green rune stamped on either hip. She recognized it as one of several symbols adorning her sword, but seeing as how it didn’t hurt, she hadn’t given it much thought.

“That’s weiiiiiiiiiiiird,” Pinkie drawled, approaching River and poking her flank with her fore hoof. River grunted in annoyance and shifted her backside away from the excitable pink pony. “I’ve never seen one that glowed before! Oooh, maybe she’s radioactive!” Pinkie’s previous countenance of glee instantly became one of fear. “We need to get away before our skin starts falling off! QUICK!” Pinkie grabbed Applejack and shook her like a snow globe. “Give me some RadAway, stat!”

Applejack’s hat was thrown off and after shoving Pinkie away, she reclaimed it. “Some what now?”

“River isn’t radioactive, Pinkie,” Twilight sighed. “I think we’d have noticed by now if she was.”

“It is rather odd that it glows, isn’t it?” Rarity was likewise entranced by River’s cutie mark, and the pegasus shifted away uncomfortably. “I’m not being lecherous, I’m just observing!”

“Observe someone else’s ass, please,” she grumped.

“Somepony,” Fluttershy helpfully corrected. River just rolled her eyes.

“I think it’s pretty sick, myself,” Rainbow said, and to her credit, didn’t attempt to leer or touch. “Almost as cool as my cutie mark. Still, cutie mark’s are supposed to mean something, right?” She looked to Twilight for confirmation, who smiled and nodded. “Like… symbolism? What does that mean, River?”

“How should I know?” Applejack narrowed her eyes. She knew a lie when she heard it. The glare she was receiving wasn’t lost in translation and after a tense few seconds, she sighed and relinquished. “It is one of the runes on my blade. Though I can’t tell you why it’s now burned onto my butt.”

“Or why it glows?”

“The blade was forged with both metallurgy and magic. The runes on it always glowed, more so when I wielded it offensively.” She shrugged, a gesture she now found rather cumbersome considering that she had to lean back on her hooves to do it. “You made this body. You tell me why.”

The six other ponies shared confused glances. Twilight spoke. “We… have no idea. I suppose I could write to Cream but… well… the cutie mark has always been something of a mystery. It’s usually earned whenever a pony discovers his or her calling in life and holds special meaning — known meaning. You might be the first pony born with hers, River.”

“Is that a big deal?”

“It sure as heck is!” Pinkie exclaimed, bubbling with so much excitement that fireworks were popping out of her ears. River wasn’t surprised by this, however, as the first thing crossed off on Twilight’s list was “explain Pinkie Pie”. “It’s such a big deal that it calls for a party, but not just any party!” Pinkie was on River in a heartbeat, pushing up on her cheeks and jabbing her oddly malleable eyes at River’s. “A party so amazing, so super-fantastic, so flank-shakingly awesome that I can’t even think of a name for it!”

Silence reigned for a moment, before River offered: “Um… how about the ‘amazing, super-fantastic, flank-shakingly awesome party’?”

Pinkie gasped, turned pale, and fainted.

“Guess that’s a yes,” Rainbow chuckled.




Spike scurried through the spacious halls of Canterlot Castle with a stack of three plates plus cups and silverware balanced expertly in his claws. A few paces behind followed princesses Celestia and Luna, having just enjoyed a private dinner with him. As Spike’s dietary needs were quite different from that of a pony, he felt it only polite to clean up after receiving such hospitality. Celestia was less keen with the idea, and Luna hadn’t said a word aside from the occasional chuckle.

“Spike, you are a gentledrake of profound honor and class, and I am proud beyond words that you have become so unflappably polite, but you’re on vacation, and I have a staff of over two hundred working around the clock. You do not have to wash the dishes.”

“I’m not washing them, princess, I’m just taking them to the kitchen! It’s the least I can do for you and princess Luna letting me stay here, and flying in that cool vet for me.” Spike’s voice was slightly more haggard than usual, and the hole that had been cut in his throat to extricate Nocturne’s corruption was still on the mend, covered by a bandage.

“That was a reward, dear Spike,” Luna spoke, trotting up alongside her sister. “You’ve helped enough. Don’t you think it’s about time you relaxed and enjoyed the luxuries of our home?”

“I’m perfectly relaxed, princess! I carry books back and forth for Twilight all day. Cleaning up after myself isn’t a chore, it’s…” he scoffed. “Just the right thing to do.” They had arrived at their destination and as previously ordered via telepathy, a unicorn servant was waiting at the door to receive the dirty dishes. “Oh, hey thanks! Wow, you guys are really on the ball here. It’s like you knew I was coming!”

The unicorn smiled and relieved Spike of his burden. “Oh, it was just a hunch.” The maid winked at princess Celestia before vanishing into the kitchen.

“Now then, let’s go get you into bed, my little dragon,” Celestia cooed, scooping Spike up with her wing and depositing him on her back. “You have a busy day tomorrow and to be honest, I am very tired.” 

Spike’s body betrayed him with a yawn, and all three laughed as they walked back to Celestia’s private quarters. Spike had made it clear when he arrived that he was more than a little nervous about sleeping in such enormous rooms by himself, and as he had shared one with both Celestia and Twilight over the years, she saw no harm in having a basket delivered for his personal use.

“I will leave you two to your rest,” Luna said as they approached Celestia’s chambers. “I have business from the previous day that I must att—”

“PRINCESSES!”

A cry from a distant hall interrupted Luna, and the triplet all turned in the direction of the voice. “Come to the sound of my voice, my little pony!” Celestia called out, and the frantic hoof steps immediately changed direction. A moment later, an earth pony guard ran up on the group, stopped like his hooves had magnetized to the carpet, and snapped to attention.

“Princesses! I carry an urgent letter from General Cresting Claw!”

“Cresting Claw?” Luna echoed, looking up at her sister for clarification. “The field commander of the Thousand Aeries?”

“The very same,” Celestia said with a curt nod. Her business-like demeanor switched on like a light and she accepted the missive, carrying it into view and unfolding it with magical precision. Her eyes scanned the document rapidly and when she was finished, crumpled it into a ball and chucked it over her mane. Spike incinerated it with a gout of emerald flame. 

“What is it, dear sister?”

Celestia looked at the guard, then to Luna, and shook her head. “I do not know, because Cresting Claw didn’t seem to know either. The griffon empire is under attack and they are requesting reinforcements.”

“Under attack from who? Surely such a robust spy network as that of the griffon’s would provide more helpful information as to the nature of the army that is assailing them?”

Celestia’s eyes betrayed hesitation, and it was not lost on Luna. It had been many years since she last saw her sister unsure of what to do or say and it was somewhat frightening. “It is not an army that besieges them, Luna. Cresting Claw specifically mentioned only one attacker. A single titanic beast that their combined might cannot overcome.”

Both Spike and the guard opened their mouths as if to gasp, but said nothing, for they could not articulate their surprise. Luna couldn’t believe what she was hearing either, but was never one to be at a loss for words. “No creature on Equis, not even the eldest of wyrms, could single-hoofedly defeat the entire griffon nation.”

“I have a feeling that this is not of Equis,” Celestia breathed, her razor-sharp mind having already taken into account all terrestrial possibilities, and was now thinking outside of the proverbial box. “And I believe there will be no rest for either of us tonight, my sister. Spike,” she craned her slender neck around to take in the tiny dragon on her back. “Go to bed. This does not concern you.”

“But princess—”

“No buts. You are brave and loyal Spike, but this is a military matter and I cannot involve you. Please understand and try to get some rest.”

With a defeated huff, Spike slid off of his surrogate mother’s back and walked through her bedroom door, which was telekinetically closed and locked behind him — from the outside. Celestia turned back to the guard. “Fetch my scribe, please.”

The guard saluted and was off. Celestia gave chase at a brisk pace, which Luna quickly matched. “Sister, are you writing a letter?”

“Yes, to my faithful student.”

“Twilight Sparkle. What will she know of this?”

“She wouldn’t, but she can get the letter to the pony I am truly trying to contact.”

Luna didn’t grasp her sister’s meaning right away, but when it did, her eyes opened wide enough to cause her eyebrows to vanish into her scalp. “Riven.”
> Extra 1: Pay It Forward
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	Rarity was an unconventional mare. Whereas anypony else would have hung a bell above the door to their shop to signify the arrival of a customer, she instead had a small wooden box. It was painted and varnished to blend in seamlessly with the wall it was mounted upon, though anypony looking up after crossing the threshold of Carousel Boutique’s front door would notice it. And many did, for when one entered, no simple chime sounded. Rather, an automated magical message would play, delivered directly into said customer’s head.


Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where everything is chic, unique, and magnifique!


Rarity was immensely proud of the device, as was Twilight Sparkle, who had personally enchanted it. They, however, were mostly alone in that sentiment, for most everypony else found it intensely disturbing to have Rarity’s melodic voice mercilessly penetrate their brains, both on arrival and departure. River fell into that second group, though her reaction wasn’t a polite complaint, but rather to snap her teeth together and wince like she was receiving a root canal sans anesthesia, and then gasping like she had just escaped from shark-infested waters.

“What the fu—”

Rarity’s impeccably groomed mane became visible from the door of her “inspiration room” before her face did. True her exotic greeting did nothing to alert her of when a customer arrived, but they usually vocalized it for her convenience — inadvertently and often paired with several expletives. “Ah, River, dear!” Standing up, she entered the show floor and approached her guest. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

River shuttered once more, trying to shove the feeling of being violated from her mind. “Um… I… I have something for you.” The pinions of River’s right wing spread and pierced the lip of her saddlebag’s flap, demonstrating her ever-evolving dexterity. Success was not found on the first try, or even the second, but Rarity said nothing, content to watch and maintain a pleasant smile. She knew River was struggling to become acquainted with not just Equestrian society, but her own body, and she was more than willing to exercise patience with the poor pegasus.

After nearly a minute of fumbling with her bag and cursing under her breath, River finally managed to undo the buckle and lift the flap. She reached in with her mouth and produced a small burlap sack bulging with bits, which she released once she was certain Rarity’s magical field had a firm “grip”. The shimmering blue field jingled a few times to get a sense for the bag’s contents, and though Rarity knew it was money, she wasn’t sure what it was for.

“Did you want to buy something, dear?”

“I already did. You fixed my clothes when I first arrived.”

Rarity thought back several months to an eloquent letter hoof-written by Twilight but dictated by Riven, standing in stark contrast to the orange biohazard bag that her torn and bloody clothing had been bundled up in. Rarity’s eyes widened in realization. “Oh, River, this is unnecessary! Those garments were ruined!”

Holding up a hoof, River interrupted her friend. The unicorn’s generosity was legendary and River had already become acquainted with it. Though she spent most of her time with Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle, and Pinkie Pie made a concerted effort to become her “bestest friend for life ever”, River couldn’t help but feel the strongest bond of kinship with Rarity. Though they enjoyed vastly different hobbies, their personalities complimented one another famously.

“You spent time and materials on those repairs and deserve to be paid for it.”

“This is like asking me to make a profit on a funeral gown!” Rarity’s telekinetic grip on the bag faded and the bits sank to the polished marble floor with a loud clank. “I refuse to accept your money, River, and short of forcing it into my register—”

River shrugged and picked up the bag with her teeth. She began a slow, teasing trot toward Rarity’s check-out counter, and the aforementioned bit register.

“Don’t you dare!”

River found this small prank far more enjoyable than Rainbow Dash’s gregarious practical jokes. Her face didn’t betray her amusement, however, even after she dropped the bag on the counter top and hovered her hoof over the button on the register which would eject the drawer.

“River, I am warning you—”

The drawstring was pulled loose with River’s teeth, causing the folds of the bag to droop and threaten to spill some of its contents.

“This is your last warning!”

Standing on her hind hooves, River scooped up the bag and upended it over the drawer, spilling exactly fifty bits into its confines.

Rarity was fuming; literally a shade of crimson that would have made Big McIntosh jealous. When the drawer closed and the internal flag flipped up to acknowledge the sale, Rarity cried out in frustration. “Fine then!” She said with a dramatic stomp of her hooves. “I will make you something new on account of you wasting your hard-earned money on absolutely nothing!”

“I thought you might say that,” River said with a demure grin. Rarity sighed but couldn’t help but bare the tiniest hint of a smile as well. “I was hoping you would make me an outfit.”

“You didn’t have to torment me with rivaling charity, dear,” the white mare said with a cute pout. “Just asking goes a long way.”

“I know, but it was funny, and I wanted to pay you in advance.”

Rarity smiled wider now. She was quickly growing to admire and appreciate Ponyville’s newest pegasus. But she pushed those warm feelings aside in favor of the business at hand; friendship was better left for social visits away from her place of work. “What did you have in mind?”

“A top and bottoms. Shoes. And… undergarments… if you can make those.”

Rarity quirked an eyebrow. “Not a dress? And undergarments? What manner of event is this outfit for, dear?”

“Event?” River matched Rarity’s confused expression with one of her own. “I just want clothes.”

“To… wear around?”

“Yes?”

Rarity smirked before permitting the most ladylike giggle River had ever heard to pass through her lips. “My dear, you do realize that us ponies don’t usually wear clothing for everyday activities, don’t you?”

“And you realize, dear, that anyone who walks behind me can see my muff, don’t you?”

Now Rarity erupted into full on hysterical laughter, and she shut her eyes tightly to try and prevent the inevitable tears from ruining her mascara. “Oh, River, you adorable, silly pony! Lower your tail!”

The transition from confusion to embarrassed shock was instantaneous, and River instinctively did as instructed, but the blush that invaded her coat was unmistakable. “I… sometimes forget I have a tail…”

Rarity was now on the ground, banging her hoof and hooting like a madwoman, much to River’s chagrin. “Oh, wait until the girls hear about this!”

“Don’t you dare!”

“Oh, the horseshoe is on the other hoof now, isn’t it?”

River gritted her teeth in anger before turning and stomping back over to Rarity’s cash register. She all but punched the drawer open and gathered up her bits, bucking it closed and storming toward the door, dramatizing every hoof step. “FINE! You just lost a sale!” 

Rarity beamed in her victory and waved a delicate hoof at her friend. “Ta-ta, darling! Be sure to remember Carousel Boutique for all your future losing needs!”

River released a barely contained scream of frustration as the magical message once again assailed her ears.
> Extra 2: It's My Party
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	Rainbow Dash awoke with none of the speed she was renowned for, groggily stumbling out of her luxurious cloud bed and releasing a protracted yawn. Though she had received more than adequate sleep and padded those hours with frequent naps, she was unaccustomed to waking up before noon. One of the perks of being the boss meant that the weather squad had to wait on her, not the other way around. So long as the job got done, her Cloudsdale supervisors rarely burdened her with their bureaucratic oversight.

She was up this early because Pinkie Pie had contracted her assistance in luring a certain introverted pegasus down to Ponyville for a long overdue welcoming party. River had sought gainful employment not long after Rainbow opened up her home to her, insisting that wallowing in her own self-pity for two months was long enough, as well as refusing to take advantage of Rainbow’s hospitality. While the chromatic pegasus had assured her it was no imposition, River insisted, and Rainbow immediately relented, once again believing that her “clone” had taken on some of her personality traits. In this case, her notorious bullheadedness.

Rainbow entered the bathroom and bucked a cloud positioned over the shower stall, cleaning the nightly grime from her coat and stepping out onto a once unclean, mildew-y bathmat. Rainbow reflected on how tidy her home had become since River moved in. When she initially could not provide bits for rent, she assumed responsibility over every single household chore, and held onto them with a frightening possessiveness.

The bathmat was now regularly washed, as was the furniture, the vanity, the toilet, the counter tops, and the refrigerator. Rainbow almost questioned her roommate about it once, disbelieving that this immaculate maid was once a famed warrior, but decided against reminding her of her old life. She still remembered those first few nights after River moved in. The night terrors and the screaming…

That was another thing Rainbow was hesitant to mention. While the two had established an amiable, sibling-like relationship, she knew when too far was just that. After all, Rainbow had done her fair share of boneheaded things between River’s arrival and now, and River had been cool enough not to use any of it as teasing ammunition; it was only right to return the favor. Not that the stoic pegasus frequently teased her, but still.

Rainbow shook herself dry and exited the bathroom. Normally she would be in the sky and flying irresponsibly fast to dry off, but she still had River to wake up. She approached the door to River’s bedroom and opened it without so much as announcing her presence. It wasn’t like she could knock on a cloud, after all. What she saw, however, perplexed her: The room was empty.

“Uh… River?”




The pony in question had awakened before the sun, just as she had when she was still a citizen of Runeterra. She liked to stretch, swing her sword through the air so that her body never became unaccustomed to its weight, and meditate. When she was a human, the purpose of her meditation was to cultivate a calm and level head, for hastiness lead to lapses in judgment that could easily get herself or another killed. Now she did it simply out of habit. River could not find that calm; it eluded her no matter how tightly she gripped. 

Today was a bit different, because River had been tipped off to a surprise party being held in her honor.

River’s large ruby eyes revealed themselves from the center of a suspiciously located cumulonimbus. She had manually relocated it above Bon Bon’s confectionery, wanting to have a good position of reconnaissance throughout the entire day, as she intended to stay there until she was certain the little town was once again asleep. It shouldn’t be hard, she reasoned. After all, she was completely concealed and Pinkie Pie could not fly. Her plan was foolproof.

“Hey River.”

“Hello Rainbow Daaaaahhhhh… crap.”

“Yeah. Good job on hiding in the only cloud in the sky and not even tucking your tail in. You suck at this.”

River’s head poked out of the top of the cloud, bearing a disgruntled expression. “I’m about ready to chop that damn thing off…”

“Shouldn’t do that. Wouldn’t want all of Ponyville seeing your muff, right?”

“RARITY TOLD YOU?!”

From the ground, a distant, cultured voice responded: “I told everypony, darling!”

“I hate my life.”

Rainbow rolled her eyes, reached into the cloud, and yanked her roommate out by her fore hooves, flying in tandem back to the ground. “So, who spilled the beans?”

“I overheard Fluttershy yesterday. Pinkie Pie asked her too—”

“Why do you do that?”

River frowned. She didn’t like being interrupted. “Do what?”

“Call everypony by their full name. Even me. The only other pony who calls me ‘Rainbow Dash’ is ‘Twi or my mom, and you didn’t squirt me out and you’re not an egghead.”

River snorted. Rainbow Dash had a knack for being as boorish as was feasible. 

“Whatever. Look, I gotta deliver you to that party tonight or else Pinkie will kill me, and you can’t let her know you know. When they all jump out and scream ‘SURPRISE!’ like idiots, you gotta look the part. Got me?”

River pondered her situation for a moment. She did not want to attend that party, despite her somewhat regrettable encouragement of Pinkie and her arranging of this little soirée. She wasn’t sure how she could avoid it, however. She could not out-fly Rainbow Dash, that was a certainty, but she also knew the dynamic mare had little knowledge of self defense, and though her own understanding of hand-to-hand combat was prodigious, she no longer had hands, and what she knew might not translate well to her new body.

There was, however, one time honored recourse: Deception.

After straining her mind to remember the names of each of Rainbow’s high-flying heroes, she pointed a hoof over the other ponies’ shoulder. “Hey Rainbow Dash… it’s Spitfire.”

“WHERE?!”

Rainbow whirled around so fast she made herself dizzy, but she saw no Spitfire. Her expression immediately soured and she turned back around. “That was a dirty trick Ri— … River?” She looked around the immediate area but saw no sign of the mocha-colored mare, and let out a sigh of frustration. “Buck me…”

River wasn’t terribly surprised that Rainbow had fallen for that. She was a tad gullible, but in an endearing way. She also knew that there was no resisting the call of the Wonderbolts, not after having sat through countless hours of fan girl gushing. River looked around the interior of the store she had ducked into, taking note of the merchandise: Records. All vinyl, which was appropriate considering the identity of the owner.

“HEY, it’s the new girl! ‘Sup?”

River had met Vinyl Scratch on a few occasions. They had never talked at length, primarily because River sought out ways to escape her relentless, cloying voice that brought to mind young urban males and an inability to use proper syntax. Had she thought to look at the sign above the door, she would have likely returned to Rainbow Dash in resignation.

“I’m… just browsing.”

“Wouldn’t mind normally, but I ain’t open yet.” Vinyl pointed at an analogue clock on the far right wall. “Still got ‘bout an hour.”

“Um…” River slinked over to the window by the door and gently parted the curtains, briefly observing Ponyville’s main thoroughfare and noticing that Rainbow Dash was no longer in sight. “That’s fine. I’ll come back later. Thank you.”

Most ponies didn’t consider Vinyl Scratch a mare of intellect. In fact, she was generally perceived exactly how she acted: Vapid, oblivious, and easily distracted. While there was some truth to that, her closer friends knew her for another trait, that of oftentimes surprising insight. “Tryin’ to get out of the party tonight, eh?”

River had been firmly entrenched in the latter group, so when Vinyl hit the proverbial nail on the head, she looked at the proprietor with a slack jaw. “How did you…?”

“Pinkie hired me to DJ tonight. Wouldn’t tell me what for; tryin’ to keep as few ponies in the know as possible, I guess. Wasn’t hard to put two and two together though, y’know? You’re the only pony in town she hasn’t thrown a shindig for, and it ain’t no big secret how antisocial you are.”

“I am not antisocial,” River growled, approaching the counter and the mare positioned behind it. “I just don’t like large crowds.”

“Or touching, or attention, or somepony holdin’ a door open for you…” Vinyl checked off a loose list of misanthropic traits she had observed River engaging in, punctuating each with one hoof striking the other.

“Or snap judgments.” River’s low voice was laced with rapidly growing anger.

“Whoa now, I ain’t lookin’ to start a fight,” Vinyl held up her hooves in an ingratiating gesture. “I’m jus’ sayin’ that maybe you should give it a chance. If you really aren’t as antisocial as you claim to be, why not prove my dumb flank wrong and rock that party? Show ‘em you’re not only not scared, but confident.”

River had opened her mouth to speak what she believed would be an inevitable and simple counter, but her voice did not come. Vinyl was right; she was running, just as she always had. She had fled from every one of her mistakes and while she always regretted it, sooner or later she would do it again. She was sick of this cycle repeating itself, and in this scenario, it wasn’t a fight or facing someone she had harmed: It was a party. A group of ponies she had come to consider friends, and as usual, she was being selfish and abrasive. What kind of despicable creature was she that she was actively avoiding someone who just wanted to make her feel welcome?

River lowered her head and released a long, remorseful sigh. “You’re right. I’ve been a horrible friend. They’re just trying to do something nice for me… and I’m treating it like a sickness.”

“Atta girl! You should swing on over to Rarity’s before tonight. Pick out somethin’ nice to wear. You got a flank worth shakin’, girl.”

River rolled her eyes, but a demure grin crept onto her lips. “Thank you, Vinyl Scratch. And… I’m sorry. I haven’t treated you any better.”

“Aw, it’s cool, girl. I’m jus’ happy I could help. Now you should go find ol’ Dashie before she starts rainboomin’ rooftops off lookin’ for you.” 

River nodded in thanks. Though Vinyl appeared outwardly jovial, it was hard to discern her motivations. She was a truly surprising and secretive mare, especially when River had seen only her own reflection throughout their entire conversation. Vinyl’s purple sunglasses were never removed and were completely opaque.

River stood outside of Vinyl’s store for a few minutes, waiting for any sign of Rainbow Dash. When she saw the distinctive trail of colors approaching from the East, she took to the sky and intercepted her. Thankfully, Rainbow was on the lookout for River and was observant enough to stop before the two ponies’ collided.

“There you are! I can’t believe you ditched me! You know, Pinkie’s just trying to do something nice for y—”

“I know, and I’m sorry.”

“—ou. Wait, what? You’re apologizing?” Rainbow briefly lost altitude before shaking the cobwebs from her ears. “You never apologize. What happened?”

“I… had a talk with someo—er… somepony. They told me just what you were about to say, and you’re right. I’ve been selfish and ungrateful. I’ll attend Pinkie Pie’s party.”

It came as a surprise to neither mare that Rainbow was a bit disappointed by this news. She had coiled herself like a spring, ready and eager to pursue River throughout all of Equestria, for she was certain she’d be chasing her for the better part of the day. But the chill of the early morning was still in the air and worst of all, she had woken up early for essentially nothing.

“Well great. I’m going home before I pass out. Be ready at five.”

Rainbow Dash lazily reversed direction and fluttered off toward her nomadic house. River watched her until she was out of sight, then began her own leisurely journey toward a nearby bank of clouds. She landed with a nearly inaudible “pomf”, patted the surface flat for comfort, and took a seat in the closest thing to Indian style that her pony anatomy could emulate. She silently inhaled air, released it slowly, and shut her eyes, focusing on the meditation that she had skipped out on earlier.

Today, however, River felt different. Lighter. She attempted to empty her thoughts but she could not… not entirely. While she felt more at ease than she had in months, something just wouldn’t stop picking at her brain. It was an unfamiliar sensation but after dwelling on it, she identified it, and that brought about a contented smile.

It was eagerness. The cause? She was excited to see her friends, possibly for the first time. She wanted to thank them, to apologize to them, and to bask in their company. They never had an unkind word for her, never berated her decisions or mocked her rough transition into pony life. She had never had such close and loving companions and it made her heart swell.

Tonight, at Pinkie’s party, River would tell them so.




The day gave way into night. Rainbow Dash and River approached Sugarcube Corner willingly. Rainbow had initially concocted a ridiculous excuse to lure River into the bakery, but seeing as how the secret was out, she merely served as the guide.

The lights were predictably off when they two mares entered, but they were quickly flipped on and a chorus of “SURPRISES!” rang out. Her friends approached, embraced her, and she did not shy away.

“So, were you surprised? Huh, huh, huh? Were ya, were ya, were ya?!”

River looked deep into Pinkie’s eyes, then into the expressive depths of the eyes of her other friends. They were all smiling, awaiting her reply. By this point, she had expected to find herself in the middle of an apologetic tirade, begging their forgiveness for her attitude and the endless threats that she dolled out like sweets, but she saw no malice or impatience in their eyes. They accepted her, just like they had from the beginning.

To that end, River sniffled back a tear and nodded once in answer to Pinkie’s question. “… I had no idea.”
> Chapter 3: No Mare Is An Island
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	Without the convenience of Spike being able to instantly transport letters via his enchanted flame, princess Celestia had to resort to a more conventional method of correspondence. The words she dictated to her scribe for transcription were curt but urgency was paramount. Thus, she sounded a call throughout all of Canterlot, requesting the fastest flier to deliver the letter directly into the hooves of Twilight Sparkle.

Not five minutes later, the throne room was filled with pegusi from all walks of life. Celestia personally identified a half dozen famous stunt fliers and all five members of the Wonderbolts. In attendance were also members of her own Solar Guard, and a smaller number of Luna’s Night Guard, the mysterious “bat ponies”, dubbed thus by the public for obvious reasons. There was also a pony that Celestia did not expect, for he wasn’t even a pegasus, but rather a unicorn. One that she was very familiar with. 

“Shining Armor?” Celestia stepped down from her dais and marched through the crowd, which parted without her so much as speaking a word. Beside her former Captain of the Guard was his beloved wife and also the only other alicorn present. “And princess Cadenza! What are you two doing here? Surely my request didn’t make it all the way to the Empire in such a short time?”

“Auntie, please, I’m still just Cadence to you.” Celestia smiled warmly and though very, very distantly related, shared a familial embrace. “And no, we were already in Canterlot on business. We arrived in the afternoon and had planned on coming to see you tomorrow but… seems like things have taken a weird turn.”

“Indeed they have.” Celestia looked askance at Shining Armor and appraised him with her critical eye. Though he had retired his position in order to focus on his new princely duties in the Crystal Empire, he looked no less strong and determined. Always a grim sort, at least while on duty, Celestia had early on in his career made it something of a game to get her then lieutenant — though no less straight-laced — to smile, laugh, or lose his composure. To his credit, she had never been successful… that was, until the day Shining Armor asked Celestia for permission to propose to Cadence.

Celestia was no stranger to ponies asking her for her blessing when it came to matters of love, though upon her return, it was now Luna who performed those rites. At the time, however, Nightmare Moon was a very recent occurrence and she hadn’t yet taken up her former responsibilities. Celestia had nothing but respect for Shining Armor, and only love for her niece, but it was an opportunity she couldn’t let pass by.

For one week following his request, Celestia assigned a replacement to Shining Armor’s position and made him serve as her herald. Whenever she had an appointment or a guest to her court, he had to make the announcement as loudly as he could. Shining Armor was no fool; he knew exactly why she was tormenting him so, but rather than become indignant, he performed his new duties with enthusiasm enough to make up for how stoic he had been throughout his career.

At the end of the week, Shining Armor was a little hoarse but he again reminded the princess about his proposal, albeit in a more croaking, pained manner. Filled with pride, Celestia agreed, and Shining Armor left her court smiling. Celestia counted that as the victory, not the week that preceded it.

“It’s good to see you, princess,” the newly crowned prince of the Crystal Empire said with a bow. Cadence would swear up and down that among friends and family, Shining Armor was the most outgoing pony she had ever met. Perhaps he was just maintaining a long-standing ruse solely to annoy Celestia. If so, she’d have to have a talk with Luna about arranging a prank of equal magnitude. “Cadence has volunteered to deliver the message. I’m tagging along to see my sister. It’s been awhile.”

Celestia nodded but did not seem enthusiastic about this decision. “Cadence, as much as I appreciate you volunteering, you’ve never been the… ah… best flier.”

“I was going to say ‘piss poor’,” Shining Armor added with a smirk. Cadence shot him a glare that could have stopped the heart of a lesser pony. “What? Did you think that earlier crack about the length of my horn wouldn’t come back on you?”

A few of the stallions in the crowd chuckled, and though she didn’t know exactly who was laughing, another withering glare from Cadence silenced the lot of them. “May we discuss this somewhere less public?”

Celestia nodded and after asking the crowd to remain a little while longer just in case her mind wasn’t yet made up, lead her two ponies to a secure room behind the throne, which was locked and immediately flanked by a pair of spear-wielding guards.

All three took seats on the cushions strewn about the small, soundproof room, and the conversation was continued by Cadence. “Yes, I know I’m not the best flier on Equis, but I can still get this message delivered to Twilight promptly.”

“Please, do tell, because the longer we talk about this, the longer it will take.”

Cadence cleared her throat, flourished with her forehooves dramatically, and disappeared from sight, only to reappear a few inches to Shining Armor’s right an instant later.

Celestia looked dumbfounded. Teleportation. How she hadn’t thought of that and just delivered the missive herself caused her to sigh and look thoroughly resigned. “This is what I get for staying up late…”

Cadence giggled and nuzzled her aunt’s withers. “You have a lot on your plate, I’m sure. If you’re in agreement, Shiny and I can be off in a moment’s notice.”

“I do,” Celestia agreed after looking up and forcing a smile. “It is quite a distance, however. Are you sure you can manage it?”

Cadence nodded confidently. “So sure that I’ll even teleport my husband with me. My magic has improved quite a bit since that whole Sombra incident. I feel stronger than I ever have! Watch!” Cadence’s horn began to glow — softly at first. Then the room was filled with light, and Celestia and Shining Armor exchanged nervous glances, for neither knew what was about to occur.

In the throne room proper, Soarin’ of the Wonderbolts scuffed his hoof on the immaculate marble floor and sighed. Spitfire looked up at him and rolled her eyes. She was just as impatient as he was, but had some ability to maintain a professional military demeanor. 

“Oh come ooooooooooooon,” he whined, his wings flapping impatiently. “I hate waiting around! I need excitement! Adventure! A cheap thrill! ANYTHING!”

A moment later, the reinforced steel door of Celestia’s saferoom exploded off its hinges, sliced the top of the millennia-old throne off, and ricocheted around the room half a dozen times before smashing through one of many stained glass windows and falling into the gardens outside.

A clinical silence filled the room. No pony was hurt, but all of them held wide eyes and perspiration-soaked brows. Even the guards, who were renowned for their aplomb, looked aghast at what they just witnessed.

“I take it back,” Soarin’ whimpered.

Cadence peeked her head around the corner of the room and upon witnessing the devastation and panic she had incited, squeaked and hid herself from view. Shining Armor and Celestia hurriedly checked to ensure no pony was hurt, and though she briefly bemoaned the loss of her throne, she wasn’t terribly upset. After all, the stupid thing was old and uncomfortable. Perhaps now she could do away with tradition and get herself some cashmere.

“Mi Amore Cadenza,” Celestia said sternly, causing the full grown mare to come slinking out of the safe room like a scolded child. “I think now would be a good time for you and your husband to be off.”

“Yes, Auntie,” the chastised mare said quietly. Shining Armor approached Cadence and stood directly beside her, using his warmth to provide a modicum of comfort. While he wasn’t much happier about her reckless display, he nevertheless kissed her muzzle and whispered into her ear that he was ready when she was. Her horn glowed again, causing the entirety of the room to flinch, and vanished without so much as a speck of dust disturbed.




Twilight was enjoying having the library to herself. She loved Spike like a son and having him around had only ever been beneficial, but she was also a young mare and there were a few very specific needs that she did not feel comfortable tending to with him around. Even sending him downstairs and turning her gramophone up as loudly as she could did not assuage her concerns, so for the longest time she abstained, and it usually resulted in a temporary lapse in sanity followed up by catastrophic property damage.

These last few nights had been cathartic to say the least. Twilight had told only one of her friends about her “problems” — that being Rarity — and the more mature mare had not laughed, criticized, or asked uncomfortable questions. She instead provided reading material, sensual music, and scented oils, all of which were in play while Twilight gave herself some long overdue attention.

And then her sister-in-law and her brother teleported directly in front of her.

“Hey Twil … err… what are you do—”

In inarticulate screech of horror reverberated from the studious mare. Shining Armor still didn’t entirely understand what he was witnessing, but Cadence most certainly did, and she forcefully ejected the confused stallion from the room and bucked the door closed. With his ear pressed against the door, he heard crying and consoling from both parties, and gave a shrug before turning and walking down the stairs.

He got to the fourth step from the top before pausing mid-stride, and a terrible realization entered his head.

“Oh buck me…”

Shining Armor waited far from the emotional turmoil occurring in Twilight’s bedroom. He helped himself to the contents of her refrigerator, cracked open a magazine that was left on one of the library’s tables (and just as quickly cast it aside once he realized it was an issue of Play-Colt), and let out a protracted sigh of boredom into the arm of a couch. He wasn’t nearly as embarrassed about the situation as Twilight no doubt was; she was his sister, and they’d caught each other doing plenty of uncomfortable things in the past. Granted, this was probably the most overt, but the idea that his sister never masturbated was ludicrous. He audibly scoffed at the mere concept.

Then he realized he had been putting active thought into his little sister’s private deeds, and smacked himself upside the head in disgust.

After nearly an hour, the two mares came downstairs and joined Shining on the couch. An uncomfortable silence — one of many that had plagued him this day — followed. While they might have been too busy being mortified to speak, he had no such compunction.

“Sooooooo… Twiley… what’s new?”

Twilight looked up at him with tear-streaked fur. “… Same old, same old.”

“Good… good…”

He now remembered that he wasn’t nearly as good at breaking uncomfortable silences as he thought he was.

“All right, that’s enough awkwardness. Yes, something very… unfortunate happened tonight. But we’re all adults here. I’m sure we can move past this.” Cadence let out a forced chuckle. “I’m sure before long we’ll be laughing about th—”

“The day I laugh about this is the day I amputate my own horn,” Twilight snapped.

“Hey, if it makes you feel any better, it’s not the first time I’ve seen it.”

Twilight’s eyes shrunk to pinpricks.

“… Yeah, I’m gonna shut up now.”

Cadence facehoofed. “You never talking again would be for the best, I think.”

“Okay! Let’s talk about the letter now before I throw myself off the roof!”

Shining Armor and Cadence nodded in agreement. To change the subject, Cadence and Twilight had already gone over the letter, which Shining was now informed of as well. “Well that saves some time. Can we go find Riven? Celestia was pretty insistent that they have a chat.”

“Her name is River now,” Twilight corrected, causing her two guests to exchange confused glances. “After she woke up, she had something of a… identity crisis, I suppose. She said that her human name wasn’t appropriate for a pony and used a name that myself and Fluttershy came up with when she was hospitalized the first time. She was pretty insistent about it so… we respected her wishes.”

Cadence’s ears flattened. “Poor thing. She must be having such a hard time with all of this.”

“She’s doing much better,” Twilight said with the first smile of the evening. “She’s still a bit withdrawn but I suspect she’s always been that way. What matters is her heart, and she has a good one.”

“And getting back to speaking with her…?”

“Oh. Yes.” Twilight stood up and approached the door, beckoning the other two to follow. “She lives with Rainbow Dash in a rather ostentatious cloud mansion.” Now on her front porch, Twilight pointed a hoof to a distant white speck against the limited illumination provided by Luna’s moon. “I can teleport us there if you’d like, but I think I’ll stay outside until invited in.” She said with thinly veiled contempt, and both Shining Armor and Cadence winced.

Twilight applied a simple enchantment to both herself and Shining Armor that would enable them to temporarily walk on clouds as the pegasi did. Cadence, being an alicorn, possessed that ability naturally, though she made an off-hoofed comment about a preference for standing on soil. Odd, Twilight thought, considering that Cadence was a rather unique case among an already unique species.

She was called an alicorn because there was no true analogue for what she actually was. Alicorns were the sum of all three pony races; princess Mi Amore Cadenza held traits of only two: Unicorns and pegasi. She did not possess the strength and heartiness of earth ponies, and thus was not immortal; she would age and die at the same rate as any pony other than princesses Celestia and Luna. “Demi-alicorn” was a term occasionally thrown around, though Cadence found it offensive. She preferred to be known as a common pony, beloved for her kindness and compassion, though now that she was an official princess, she found it harder to relate to the common folk.

The flash of teleportation moved the group from the ground to the front door of Rainbow’s and River’s home in an instant. Shining put on a goofy grin as he trotted about, while Cadence looked decidedly uncomfortable being so far from the earth. Twilight seemed apathetic and pulled on a chain hanging to the left of the door frame. A gong sounded from somewhere in the house, and Twilight rolled her eyes. With a home as brazen as this, she probably shouldn’t have been surprised that the doorbell was equally as loud.

The group of three waited and listened, but heard no sound coming from inside. It was a bit surprising then when the door opened, revealing River herself. Either she was very quiet in her movements or clouds were excellent insulation.

Despite the late hour, River looked as she always did. She was alert, her mane was undisturbed, and her eyes were captious; red not from lack of sleep, but natural pools of crimson. Twilight found them very fetching, as did most anypony else when they could get River to display an emotion other than half-lidded irritation.

“Twilight Sparkle?” River tilted to her left to get a better view of the two ponies behind her. “And Shining Armor. It is nice to see you both.” River’s words were kind but as usual, her expression was immovable. “And you are…?”

“Cadence,” she said with a smile, leaning in for congenial nuzzles. Twilight took note of River’s brief hesitation, but she accepted the gesture. The purple unicorn grinned demurely; some things would never change, it seemed.

“You may come in,” River offered, stepping away from the door. It was both an invitation and an order, though no pony objected. They took a seat in the living room while River entered the nearby kitchen and prepared refreshments.

“Where is Rainbow Dash?” Twilight asked, curling up on a cushion.

“Sleeping. It is nearly midnight.” Twilight smiled sheepishly at the obviousness of her question, but River did not seem to notice or was polite enough not to comment.

“We don’t want to disturb her, and we’re sorry for coming by so late… and unannounced.” Twilight approached River with the folded letter in her telekinetic grasp, and the mocha pegasus turned, having somehow heard the approach. “But this is important. Princess Celestia has requested an audience with you. Immediately.”

“With me?” River took the note and laid it flat on the ground, reading it silently to herself. It said exactly that, with no further information regarding the nature of this meeting. “I do not understand. Have I done something wrong?” Twilight took note of a shift in River’s normally reserved expression. She seemed nervous, and the unicorn was quick to assuage her misgivings with another nuzzle that was quickly reciprocated. 

Twilight, however, couldn’t say for certain if River had done something wrong. Accidentally broken a law of Equestrian society that she was ignorant of, for instance. “We… don’t know exactly why. But I assure you that if you had done something wrong or Faust forbid illegal, the princess would have sent guards after you, not your friends. I’m sure it’s nothing to be concerned about.”

River visibly relaxed and let out a tenuous exhalation. “All right. I’ll… get ready. The letter said ‘urgently’. How soon must I be in Canterlot?”

“Immediately, in fact,” Cadence said, rising to her hooves as well. “We’ll need to return with you. We don’t know how long you’ll be gone for but I would at least pack an overnight bag.”

River nodded and trotted away. Her guests had to wait less than a minute before River returned wearing her saddlebags, which had absolutely no bulge whatsoever. “Um… that’s all?”

“My toothbrush and extra hair scrunchies,” River informed. Twilight let out an unceremonious bark of laughter. For some reason, the idea of such a stern warrior such as River prioritizing hair scrunchies over, say, cold weather clothing, was hilarious in her mind. The humor of the moment wasn’t lost on Shining Armor either, and River likewise understood the cause of their laughter, though she wore a scowl.

“Let’s be off, then. River, you should leave a note for Rainbow Dash. She’ll worry if you’re not home when she wakes up.”

River quirked an eyebrow. “She will?”

Twilight giggled. “Believe it or not, you’re like a sister to her. She doesn’t have much family, so you should be kind to her and not just up and disappear.”

Twilight and Cadence began discussing something then, though River tuned it out. She was a bit surprised by that admission, especially considering that Rainbow Dash herself had never let on. Sure, she had said they were friends and River shared those sentiments, but family? It was an all but foreign concept to the orphaned Noxian. Riven had been adopted by the military before she could walk; the corps was her family, not any one individual. Still, she was not adverse to the idea. Quite the opposite; it made her heart flutter. She loved her friends, and now she got to think of one of them as a sister. It made penning a brusque letter much easier.

Rainbow Dash,

Princess Celestia has summoned me to Canterlot for an unknown emergency. I will return as soon as I am able.

Love, River

It was a tiny expression of affection but hopefully the message wouldn’t be lost on the brash, boyish pegasus. When River returned to the conversation occurring between Twilight and Cadence, she learned that the topic was who had strength enough to teleport all four of them back to Canterlot. Neither mare felt up to it, and Shining Armor didn’t know how.

“Then I suppose we can take the train. It runs all night and if I’m not mistaken, the next departure is at one.” 

River glanced over at a nearby water clock and took note of its time: 12:30. “We should hurry then.”

Shining Armor seemed content to run with whatever the group decided, though Cadence seemed a bit saddened. “I was hoping to be back sooner. Auntie wasn’t very pleased with me when we left.”

“Oh? Why’s that?” Twilight questioned.

“She blew up the throne room,” Shining said with a chuckle.

“YOU DID WHAT?!”

“I did not blow up the throne room! Well… not all of it.”

Twilight looked horrified. River’s expression could have made a stone blink.

“Ugh… whatever. Let’s just go. River, can I catch a ride?”

After a deafening silence, both Shining Armor and Cadence stepped out of the house laughing hysterically. Even River seemed amused by the phrasing Twilight had used, and the unicorn herself seemed one soft nudge away from burying her head in the floor and screaming. “I didn’t mean it like that!”

“I am flattered, Twilight Sparkle, but I don’t ‘swing that way’,” River said while likewise leaving the house.

“You are just as horrible as the others! You’re just better at hiding it!”

River chuckled quietly but didn’t correct Twilight’s assumption. Shining ‘mounted’ his wife, and Twilight did the same to River, who bore her weight without complaint. The flight to the train station was quick and uneventful, as was the purchasing of three tickets for the next train to Canterlot. Twilight would stay behind, as Celestia had not summoned her.

“We’ll be back before long, I’m sure. I doubt the princess is going to ask River for anything too serious.”

Twilight nodded and embraced her family. River also received a warm hug, as well as a peck on the cheek. “When you change your mind about mares… let me know.” Twilight fluttered her eyelashes suggestively, which began a chain reaction of blushing, sputtering, and incoherent nonsense from every pony, though River was especially overwhelmed. After letting them make public fools of themselves, Twilight enjoyed the last laugh and began walking back to her home. “You should have seen your faces!”

Once Twilight was out of sight, River turned back to Shining Armor, still bearing a look of utter shock. “Er… w-was she serious or just getting us back?”

Shining Armor wanted to say he knew the answer, but truth be told he didn’t. Twilight had never brought home a colt, had never been caught kissing behind the bleachers, and had never snuck out of the house. She was a model daughter as well as a student, and if it hadn’t been for the evening’s earlier events regarding an issue of Play-Colt, Shining wouldn’t have had any idea what his little sisters preferences were. So in response to River’s question, he merely shrugged, which she seemed wholly dissatisfied with.

The journey to Canterlot by rail was notably longer than by magical transposition; three hours longer, to be precise. However besides River, Shining Armor, and Cadence, the car was empty, so solitude was easily found and enjoyed. River had always preferred the quiet; a time in which she could calm herself should she be nervous about anything and order her thoughts accordingly. While she was still a bit apprehensive about a sudden summons from the most powerful and important pony in the world, the assurances of her friends made a lot of sense and she took comfort in them. They were right; surely Celestia wasn’t going out of her way to personally ask for an audience because she had committed a crime. No, it was most likely questions about her former life and world. Quite a few ponies seemed enchanted by the idea of life existing beyond their own world. River could understand their awe, for she once shared it.

That is, until she learned of the Void…

At that moment, being alone in the universe seemed vastly preferable. She had met a number of denizens of that shadowy realm between the stars and none of them had been amicable. On the contrary, they all actively attempted to kill her. Only one of them seemed like he wasn’t evil, but he certainly wasn’t good in the traditional sense. Kog’Maw was his name, a slug-like creature that spat caustic slime and could eat anything regardless of its composition or size compared to his own diminutive body. His motivations were guided entirely by his insatiable hunger, and if he was hungry enough, people were on the menu without reservations.

River cleared the memories from her head before they became too horrific. She wanted to leave that life behind. Noxus was out of reach. She had been told that countless times, and it shamed her to admit that after awhile, she had begun to lose hope. No pony could replicate the spell that brought her to Equestria. No pony could resurrect her human body and put her brain back into it. She was trapped here so… she was trying to make the best of it. 

But the memories… they would never go away, of that she was certain. Hard to forget seeing the faces of your comrades being reduced to a roiling green soup, after all.

“Hey, River. We’re here.”

Shining Armor was shaking her shoulder and River’s eyes snapped open, betraying her emotional state for a fraction of a second. Shining Armor knew from prior experience with this woman-turned-mare, however, that she was still troubled by her past. Her admission at the time of her “death” was something he’d never forget.

“You know, my offer still stands.”

River’s eyes met his own. “What offer?”

“Finding you a new path. I may not be a member of the Guard anymore but… I have connections. I can get you help.”

“I don’t need help,” River said curtly, rising to her hooves and slipping past Shining Armor. Cadence was already waiting for them at the open door, as was the conductor.

“Post traumatic stress disorder is a wound like any other, River.”

Shining Armor’s words were so calm and reassured. He truly meant what he was saying. River, however, would only realize that later. At this moment, she snapped and approached him with rage in her eyes. “You don’t know a SINGLE GODDAMN THING about me! You’ve never experienced real war! This entire fucking world is one giant candy-coated utopia and I’m sick and fucking tired of ponies trying to relate to me!”

“But—”

“FUCKING DROP IT!”

River was out of the train and storming past Cadence in an instant. Shining Armor stood where he was, dejected. He knew better than she realized, and if given the chance, he would tell her just how wrong she was about the outsider’s perception of how idyllic Equestria was. But that would have to wait for another time. The princess was waiting.
> Chapter 4: To Battle
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	The walk from the train station was an uncomfortable one. Cadence gamboled ahead of an irate River but only to guide her in the direction of the palace. That left River and Shining Armor taking up the rear; the former stewing in her anger and the latter shuffling awkwardly from side to side. He wanted to apologize if only to clear the air, but he also didn’t think he had done anything wrong expressing his concern for River’s well-being. That put him at a crossroads of what would be the decent thing to do and what his pride told him wasn’t necessary.

Shining Armor was then quite surprised when River was the one who broke the uncomfortable silence. “I’m… sorry, Shining Armor,” she spoke at a shamed whisper. “I’m not good at talking about myself.” She trailed off, as if wanting to say more but was incapable of finding the words. Shining Armor, to his credit, didn’t bask in his victory for long, instead adopting an understanding smile.

“I really do get it, you know. I’ve seen dozens of soldiers fall into despair because of memories they were too proud to acknowledge… myself included. Would you like to hear a story?”

“I… guess?” River was hardly in the socializing mood, but she didn’t want a pony she considered not just a friend but also a comrade to think she hated him.

Cadence, having heard the two ponies reconcile, slowed her gait and eavesdropped. She was happy that they hadn’t stayed mad at each other for long, and the grin on her lips betrayed that.

“When I first joined the guard, I wasn’t even a stallion. Just a whelp of a colt who had just earned his cutie mark and thought his shit didn’t stink.” Using such a filthy idiom had the desired effect. River spat out a laugh, turning her head to hide her mirth. She was more than accustomed to swearing but since her arrival in Equestria, hadn’t heard much worse than the rare “damn” from any pony. Satisfied, Shining Armor continued his story. “Barely out of basic and I was posted at Tower Eight, little more than a shed watching the eastern border of Equestria and known diamond dog territory. They’re subterranean, but we’ve had some success in mapping out their tunnel networks, provided we know where to look in the first place. Tower Eight stands in the middle of nowhere, zero hope of reinforcements on one side and hostile brutes on the other.”

“Sounds like the sort of place they’d send troublemakers,” River observed. Shining nodded in acknowledgment.

“It had that reputation, yes. I was sent there because it just needed someone to man it and there weren’t any article fifteens pending in our unit. Myself and one other, a unicorn supply aid named Pierce, were assigned a three-month rotation there. Even though there hadn’t been a reported diamond dog attack in over thirty years, we were only there for a week before we were taken at night.”

“They abducted you?”

Shining Armor nodded wistfully at the memory. “Force fed us some kind of anesthetic root and carted us off to their tunnels. They’re known slavers but don’t often go looking for conflict; they want to get workers who don’t look like they can fight back or have friends looking for them. I was later told they probably didn’t know we were with the guard, but that isn’t important. What is important is that Pierce refused to work, so he was whipped. When he got lippy, he was starved. Eventually, he used his telekinesis to tear out a support beam holding up a newly cut tunnel, killing an overseer. Pierce was beaten to death by at least ten dogs, dismembered, and left to rot in the cell… with me… for another week. When I was rescued, I was told it was because some clerk had noticed we hadn’t reported in, but we’re supposed to send off a report every three days. We were gone for over two weeks.”

River nodded in grim understanding. “No pony even noticed you weren’t staying in contact.”

“That’s right,” he sighed. “My lieutenant was canned and I was given his job, not that I thought I earned it.” 

“I think you earned it, honey,” Cadence chimed in, settling in on Shining Armor’s right and nuzzling his withers. 

“Thanks, love.” River noticed he was pausing to collect himself, so she didn’t interrupt. “I think I earned my other promotions but not that one. All I did was survive, and I did that by doing what the dogs told me to do and keeping my mouth shut. Pierce was… stubborn. Prideful.”

“Stupid,” River observed. Shining Armor didn’t get upset by this. Instead, he nodded in agreement.

“I barely knew him, so yeah. Stupid. Still, it’s not something you forget, y’know? Seeing a mutilated carcass day in and day out for that long, knowing you once served alongside him.”

River was beginning to understand Shining Armor a bit better now. He seemed cool under pressure, strong-willed and determined, but so did she. The difference was that Shining Armor hid his history better; he didn’t let it slip no matter how emotional he became. River was rather envious of that. “I’m surprised. I’ve spoken to Twilight Sparkle at great length and though she’s mentioned you countless times — with near-reverence, mind you — she’s never said anything about this.”

“She… doesn’t know,” Shining Armor replied, his voice hinting at regret. “Cadence does,” he said, punctuating his words with a kiss from his wife. “The princesses and a few friends from my old unit do, but not my sister, or my parents. They’d hit the roof, even years after the fact. River… I told you this in confidence—”

“I won’t say a word,” she assured. Shining Armor sighed and gave her a congenial nuzzle. River blushed and again averted her gaze, instead focusing on the approaching castle.

The three ponies stopped at the base of the stairs that led up to the great doors of Canterlot Castle. “River, I want you to at least consider taking me up on my offer. When we’re done here, talk it over with your friends and see what they think, but I’m sure they’ll act in your best interest, which is getting the help you need.”

River forced herself to, for the first time, actually consider Shining Armor’s proposal. When he had first mentioned it, so many months go, she responded reflexively, believing she’d never hear of it again. Ten minutes ago, she reacted violently because there was no imminent danger taking precedence, and thus she was backed into a corner. Now she understood that this was neither false concern nor a battle-virgin speaking ahead of himself. River couldn’t think of many other conversations more uncomfortable than telling Pinkie Pie she was considering seeking counseling for her war trauma, but she also knew that Shining Armor wouldn’t shut up about it until she did.

“… Fine.”

“Great!” he beamed, considering that minute reply as all the affirmation he needed. “Now, let’s see what the princess wants with you.”

“I’m sure we’ll be in and out,” Cadence chirped, and all three approached the entrance of the castle, stepping through its threshold, paved by two stationed guards.

River followed behind her escorts, and was thankful that she had them to guide her, because they had rounded more corners, passed by more doors, and gave sidelong glances to more identical guardsponies than she’d ever be able to remember. The castle was massive and labyrinthine, but Shining Armor and Cadence navigated it without once second guessing themselves.

Finally they approached the throne room. Usually closed and likewise flanked by a pair of guards, tonight it was wide open and deathly silent. The damage from earlier, Cadence noted, had been entirely repaired, however the throne where Celestia normally sat had been removed. In its place was an opulent purple cushion, wreathed with golden tassels. Upon it sat princess Luna, looking contemplative as she studied a stack of reports scattered before her.

River and her entourage bowed and remained that way until Luna snapped out of her reverie and noticed she had guests. “Oh, my dear friends, please. No need for that… not tonight.” She sighed and beckoned them to approach.

“Princess, we have brought River, as requested. Where is princess Celestia?”

“Retired for the evening. I fear she isn’t as accustomed to late nights as she once was, before my return. If we have need of her, she has insisted we retrieve her without hesitation.” Luna levitated a teacup to her lips and took a delicate sip. “She made many preparations before finally being convinced she could rest with a clear conscience.”

Luna offered tea to any pony that might like some, but all three politely declined. Luna scooped up a number of documents in her magical aura and stepped off her seat, approached the group, and sat amongst them, cultivating a comfortable, informal atmosphere. Before getting down to business, Luna nuzzled River underneath her muzzle, smiling down at the mocha-colored pegasus with affection. “Dear Riven. It has been too long. How have you been? Er… barring the rather unfortunate events that led to your current situation, of course.” 

“I’m well, princess, thank you. I’m… adapting.”

“If you need anything to help make your transition more comfortable, do not hesitate to write me or my sister. Our doors are always open.”

“Thank you, princess. I would appreciate if you called me River now.”

Luna cocked her head in curiosity. “You’ve changed your name? Pray tell why?”

River shrugged. She herself didn’t truly understand her motivations in this regard, only that it felt right. “River is a pony name.”

“But it is not your name.”

“Princess, please…”

Luna huffed but let the subject drop. “Very well. I’d like to show you a picture. It was one of several sent in a package we received shortly after Shining Armor and his lovely wife were dispatched to retrieve you.” Luna fished the requisite photograph from a manila envelope and passed it over to River, who caught it in her mouth and laid it before her.

The picture was grainy and colorless. In it she identified several specks swarming around what appeared to be a gigantic shadow. She stared at it for over a minute, rifling through her memories for some semblance of comprehension for what this was supposed to be. At first she was going to say she didn’t understand, but after a more intense scrutiny, something about its appearance was familiar…

It had claws, scythe-like and spindly. It possessed a long tail, horns, and a gaping maw…

River’s eyes widened to the point where they threatened to escape the confines of her head. Her mouth drooped open and a quiet gasp escaped her throat. That was all Luna needed to rise to her hooves and stomp once, which summoned a guard from outside of the throne room.

“Yes, your majesty?”

“Retrieve my sister. River has made positive identification.”

“She has?” Shining Armor stood up and looked over River’s shoulder at the image. “It looks like an inkblot test to me.”

“This isn’t possible,” River whispered, then repeated it much louder. “This isn’t possible! He wasn’t there! He couldn’t have followed me like Nocturne did!”

“Who?” Cadence asked, looking between the frantic River and the stoic Luna.

“Yes, River, who? What can you tell me about him?” Luna fished out another picture of the monster and dropped it on top of the other. Same poor quality but from a different angle.

Princess Celestia arrived shortly thereafter. Resplendent as usual, the only betrayal of her condition was a polite yawn that she quickly suppressed. Luna nodded at her once, informing the elder sister that their suspicions were correct.

“River?” Celestia said sweetly, approaching the small group and settling down beside the aghast pegasus. “What is this creature? Can you tell us anything about it?”

It didn’t appear that she could. Tears stung River’s eyes as she fretted over what new horror she had inflicted upon these poor innocents. No pony had blamed her for Nocturne, but she most certainly had. Now it appeared that she’d wrought misery upon them once more and it broke her heart. It was Ionia all over again…

As if reading her mind, Celestia said: “River, we do not blame you for this.”

River blinked a few errant tears away and looked up at the smoothing, motherly gaze of princess Celestia. Luna and Cadence had shuffled closer when she wasn’t looking and were delicately touching her body with theirs, invoking that evolutionary pang of comfort that all ponies shared. Shining Armor looked on with concern, fearful of what dark road she was about to walk.

“Please, tell us what you know. This creature is ravaging our allies as we speak. Time is not on our side.”

River sniffled and wiped her eyes dry. Before she began speaking, she resolved to lend her aid in more than just information. She already predicted they would try to convince her otherwise, but it had been many years since she last obeyed the orders of a superior.

“His name is Cho’Gath,” she croaked. “He and his ilk hail from a realm called the Void, a hellish place between the stars. The League had imprisoned him as they did Nocturne, forcing him to fight.”

Luna annotated this information as it was delivered, scribbling it onto the back of an official document with fervor.

“Can you provide any tactical data?” Luna inquired, looking up with her quill poised to strike the paper like a rattlesnake.

After a moment’s thought, River relayed what she could recall. “When he eats something, he grows larger and stronger. He can also summon spikes, either from the earth or launched from his body. They also grow in proportion to his size.”

“Is he intelligent?” Celestia inquired.

“Yes, he is no beast. But I only fought him a han — hoofful of times, and never directly spoke to him. I’m sorry but that’s all I know.”

Having annotated what little she gleaned from River, Luna set aside her quill and rose, with every pony else following suit. “It is more than we had an hour ago. I will have this delivered to the battlefields of the Thousand Aeries immediately.”

With steely resolve, River blocked Luna’s attempt at gathering up her notes and instead stored them into the saddlebags that she still wore. “I will deliver them personally, and then aid the griffons in their fight.”

Both Shining Armor and Cadence looked aghast; Luna, indignant.

Celestia had only one word to say on the matter: “No.”

Among the piles of papers that Luna had provided was a map of the location of the griffon empire relative to Equestria. River was an extremely quick study when it came to maps, having had to learn the Valoran countryside in order to wander it for as long as she did. “I was not asking, princess. This is my responsibility.”

Now it was Celestia’s turn to look offended. “River, you should choose your words more carefully. I am not above imprisoning a friend if they brazenly defy me.”

“You would have to, princess, to stop me from going, as I’ll just sneak away from Shining Armor’s and Cadence’s company when they’re not looking.”

Save Celestia, the three ponies in attendance were positively stunned by River’s audacity.

“You cannot possibly make a flight like that on your own!” Celestia shouted, her patience waning as she attempted to explain what were a few very simple truths in her mind. “My faithful student has kept me well informed of your progress, River. Although you’re far stronger now than when you awoke, you’ve only just learned how to fly.” Celestia stomped the map with a golden-shod hoof. “It would take a formation of disciplined pegusi nearly a week to make that journey. You wouldn’t last a day!”

River’s confidence and cool defiance of authority suddenly faltered. In her impetuousness, she hadn’t considered her own physical frailties, and it irked her to no end. “No wonder you’ve been in power for so long…”

Luna barked out a laugh at that, and even Celestia’s stern countenance cracked a smile. “I consider all avenues, River, because my ponies often do not. I admire your courage and I do plan on providing the griffons a contingent of soldiers, but I cannot in good conscience allow you to accompany them.”

River did not reply, only lowered her head in silent defeat. Celestia spoke a few consoling words, retrieved the documents River had pilfered, and she and Luna left to attend to military matters. The guards by the throne room’s door were made to escort the group out. Cadence and Shining Armor offered to walk River back to the train station.

“Don’t be glum, River,” Shining said as they walked away from the ticket booth, one trip back to Ponyville in hoof. “Celestia only wants what’s best for you, and no matter how strong of a warrior you were as a human…” he sighed, unable to find a gentle way to continue, so he just did. “… You’re not as a pony.”

River winced. It hurt her pride as a soldier to be told that she wasn’t good enough for a mission. True, her body was nescient. Yes, she was not a member of Equestria’s military. But it was also a fact that she remembered all of her training and surely Noxus tailored soldiers to be far tougher and more skilled than a peaceful nation of herbivores… right?

She bid her friends good night and stood on a lonely platform, illuminated by a weak lamppost a few feet overhead. She sighed and looked down at her ticket, then back at the castle, which now that she knew where it was within the city, it was quite hard to miss; ancient and strong.

So was the will of Noxus, a mindset that she embodied. River’s eyes narrowed and she kicked the ticket away. At full cantor, she returned to the castle, attempting to remain unseen though being so early in the morning, hardly any pony was walking the cobblestone streets. Upon her return to the courtyard, she observed the contingent of soldiers Celestia had mentioned, standing in formation while their commander spoke a well-rehearsed safety briefing.

River listened for several minutes, hidden behind one section of the perfectly manicured hedge that surrounded the castle. For the most part, what the commander was relaying was the same thing that River herself had told the royal sisters, save for how they would actually get to the Thousand Aeries: A ship currently docked at the nearby harbor. For the troops, an armored carrier. For their supplies, a larger, unprotected vessel that would follow in the first ship’s wake.

Up until now, River hadn’t been entirely sure how she would infiltrate a group of ponies that were virtually identical, by virtue of their enchanted armor. Now she realized that she wouldn’t have to. She just needed to stow away on the supply ship. Leaving her hiding place, River used the twilight to fly down to the harbor and reconnoiter the area. The stores were being loaded by a small group of burly earth ponies, who were chatting amongst themselves. Her keen eyesight identified the carrier approaching a few knots from shore, and she estimated it would be quite some time before it docked.

River approached the loading bay of the ship as surreptitiously as she could, using bundles of mooring rope, crates, and wooden posts as cover, and each time she moved without being caught, let out a sigh of relief. This dance which she was certain made her look like a fool took several minutes, but paid off when every laborer turned away at the same exact moment. River used this opportunity to take to the skies and dive into the open hatch, hiding behind a buckled down pallet in the rear of the bay.

Thus, she waited and remained as quiet as possible, but coiled like a spring should any pony stumble upon her. Several hours passed before the metal hatch closed, blanketing the space in total darkness. 

River was alone with her thoughts. She heard only the distant crashing of the waves against the ship’s hull as they sped off to battle.
> Chapter 5: Sibling Rivalry
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	The journey from Canterlot to the Thousand Aeries took just under a week. About ten minutes in, River realized just how poorly thought out her plan was. Had she snuck aboard any vessel other than the one carrying the cargo required for an army to march, she would likely be dead before they docked.

While food and water was plentiful, light was not, so breaking into thickly-wrapped pallets with naught but her hooves and her own adjusted night vision became a frustrating ordeal that kept her sore and occupied, both of which she would later be grateful for. An idle mind was prone to self-destructive thoughts, and a weak body was easily defeated by a superior combatant.

These were tenants taught to her early in life by the Noxian military. River could not remember her mother or father, but the name and face of her first drill instructor was forever etched into her memory. Her siblings were her squad, which changed frequently as she ascended the ranks. Her new pony friends had asked if she had any family back in Runeterra, perhaps a lover that believed himself widowed. She would always answer in the negative, but her personal belief was that her family was the whole of the Noxian military, and such a massive thought had brought her comfort in some of her more trying times.

In addition to various freeze dried amenities and bottled water that River greedily partook in, the soldier’s weapons were also stored on this ship. Her first order to business was to jam a spear into the seam of the iron loading door and pry it open just enough to allow air in but keep the ocean out. She partially succeeded, and as she returned the spear to its slot in the rack and fished up a sword, she noted that she would rather have damp hooves than suffocate and die.

With her basic necessities attended to, River began the arduous process of rediscovering her talent for swordplay, and she soon realized that most of what she had learned was no longer applicable. River did not have hands and thus had to rehearse her drills with the sword’s hilt firmly clasped between her teeth, and from the onset she felt green again. 

It did not take River long to realize that she simply did not have the neck strength required to do this with any semblance of skill and grace, but she was already using the smallest sword available to her. With great effort that reminded her of her initial attempts at flying, she managed to hoist the blade and keep it level, and did so long enough to get through the first half of one drill. Her stamina was exhausted at that point, however, and she spat out the sword punctuated by a howl of pain. Her neck throbbed, her teeth and jaw ached, and she began throwing a tantrum that she was immensely grateful no pony else was present to witness.

River had never felt so useless in her entire life. Even after forsaking Noxus and sundering her sword, she had her strong arms, her freedom, and her honor. Now she had a neglected body that was unacceptably frail, she was stowed away with real soldiers like an urchin, and her honor was no where to be found when she gazed upon her pathetic reflection in the accumulated water at her hooves.

The one thing that River had was the one thing that she never personally acknowledged, but had been told by countless people and ponies was her most defining characteristic: Perseverance. River took a moment to motivate herself before picking up her weapon again.

And again.

And again.

Over the course of that week traversing the open ocean, she regained a modicum of her old strength. To say that she was comparable to even the lowliest Noxian private would have been laughable, but it helped bolster her confidence nevertheless. And she would soon need it, because she heard the approaching sound of war.

Soldiers in her old unit had often spoken of feeling fear and apprehension before venturing into combat. The chaplain told her it was natural — even expected — and that the mark of a true Noxian was the ability to set those toxic emotions aside and fight as you were trained. River could not recall ever feeling anything before a battle, and the one time that she did had caused her to forsake the land of her birth and embrace exile. Even now, as she hid behind the pallets and stilled her breathing so that none might hear her, she was calm. River was both willing to die and would welcome any punishment the princesses could mete out. So long as she could right Cho’Gath’s wrongs, she would be content.

After nearly two hours of silence, the last deckhand left. A few of the rear pallets were left untouched, and that was where River waited. Believing that the coast was clear, she quietly scooped up her sword and prepared to disembark.

“You can come out now, River.”

Her breath hitched in her throat. River recognized that voice and her eyes widened in shock. It was not fear that she felt, but surprise. “P-Princess Celestia?”

River peered around the corner of the pallet and, sure as the sky was blue, there stood Princess Celestia. Arranged around her were her six closest friends, all of whom displayed some emotion upon their muzzles, ranging from horror to relief to unmitigated rage. Rainbow Dash, her “sister”, fell into the latter category.

“Are you bucking kidding me?! You stowed away?! I can’t believe this sh—”

“Rainbow Dash!” Fluttershy admonished, giving her friend a stern look. “Language!”

River sighed and slouched out of her hiding spot, having already accepted the earful that she was no doubt about to receive.

“Screw that! I was told that River didn’t come because she was sick and was staying with Shining and Cadence in Canterlot!” Rainbow whirled on Celestia then, and River could swear she saw the slightest inkling of worry cross her normally serene countenance. “You told me that! How dare you?! What gives you the right—”

“RAINBOW DASH!” Twilight Sparkle spoke up next, now standing between one of her best friends and her mentor. River could tell that Twilight was likewise concerned over her health but talking down an irate pegasus who was reading a goddess the riot act seemed to take precedence. “You can’t speak to her like that!”

“Twilight, it’s all right. Rainbow Dash has every right to be upset with me.”

“I’m upset with you too!” Twilight clarified, now looking up at her mentor. This time River knew without a shadow of a doubt that Celestia had been caught off guard. “You knew River was back here but you didn’t say anything! She could have been killed.”

“I’m fine,” River interjected, which earned her six pairs of murderous eyes.

A synchronized chorus of “SHUT UP’S!” closed River’s mouth fast enough to catch a bullet.

Celestia only sighed and placed a comforting hoof onto her student’s shoulder, which had an immediate calming effect on the young unicorn. Rainbow Dash wouldn’t be so easily placated and with deliberate steps, she approached River. Every stomp of her hoof made River reflexively take a step backward, but soon she was cornered against the rear of the cargo bay. No where to run, no where to hide.

“When we get back, you can find somewhere else to crash,” Rainbow seethed, then reared back and smashed her hoof square into River’s snout. The tan pegasus yelped and staunched the blood pouring from her nose with one feeble hoof, but it did little good. The anger everypony else felt washed away immediately and they surrounded her, asking if she was all right and to tilt her head back to stymie the blood. 

River denied them. “I’m fine,” she wheezed, her voice sounding nasally. “I deserved it.”

“That was uncalled for,” Rarity said gently, saddling up beside River and holding a once pearl-white handkerchief to her snout. Apparently she had gotten it from Pinkie Pie, who also looked uncharacteristically sad. The pink party pony sighed and nuzzled up against River’s neck, then pulled away just as fast, as if she couldn’t decide if she was still mad or not.

“Dashie shouldn’t have done that,” she hedged, looking behind her at the fuming pegasus. Rainbow hadn’t gone far; she was still on the beach, yelling at herself and whoever else happened by. “But you shouldn’t have made us all worry like that either, miss silly-pants! A-Are you all right? I mean… from the trip, not from Dashie breaking your face.”

River shrugged, casting her eyes down at her hooves. Everypony’s eyes followed and observed white, pale, crusty flesh on all four of her hooves. It was widely known as trench foot where she came from, but River did not know what ponies called it. “Standing in brine for a week will do that,” River replied to the crowd of aghast faces. “I’ll live.”

“You’ll be an amputee!” Fluttershy retorted, beginning with her usual mousy tone and devolving into a sobbing gasp toward the end. “Let’s get you dry and taken care of.”

River followed the group off the boat, continually reassuring her friends that she was not too worse for wear. Twilight made a comment regarding all of the hard work she had put into River’s body and how poorly it was being treated. Celestia rolled her eyes, unsure if her beloved student was more concerned for her friend or her friend’s magically crafted body.

The staging ground for the assault on Cho’Gath was a small camp on a beach on an island just over a mile away from the Aeries proper. It was an altogether too small location for the armies of two different species, but it soon became apparent that at least part of that wasn’t a concern.

The griffons were world renowned for their military might. They excelled at every aspect of warfare and held numbers no other nation could match. What River saw as she limped through the camp toward the medical tent was the broken, defeated remnant of a once-proud people. A scant few hundred griffons remained, and most of them boasted some kind of injury. River noted that many of those wounds were small and appeared defensive; even with a glancing blow, Cho’Gath couldn’t have caused injuries like that. He was a wrecking ball, not a precision laser.

“Something is wrong,” River said, wincing with each step. Her friends attempted to alleviate her pain by keeping her hooves off the sand, but she had just spent a week regaining some iota of her confidence. Being carried like an invalid wouldn’t have done that any favors. “I think Cho’Gath has help.”

“What kind of help?” Celestia asked, gamboling forward to match the girls’ pace. Before she had been taking in the horrific sights as well.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “But look at their wounds.” River’s left front hoof swept across a nearby platoon of griffon warriors. They were in fighting shape but most sported bandages with small, bloody wounds staining the centers. “They look like they’ve been attacked by something their size.”

“They were,” came a deep, authoritative voice from the rear. As River was lead into the medical tent and immediately attended by a matronly eagless, they were greeted by a bronze-feathered tiercel wearing a tricorne adorned with five stars arranged in a circle. Slung across his left shoulder was what River recognized as an old fashioned musket. His right wing seemed to double as a hand and held tight a triangular wooden crutch, which helped alleviate some of the burden of his missing right leg. The wound was apparently recent, as it was still bandaged and stained.

Despite his condition, the griffon swept off his hat and bowed low. Not just to Princess Celestia, but to every pony present. “My friends, and my princess,” he said with a deliberate nod at the solar ruler. “I am General Cresting Claw, though I think that title is now more symbolic.” He sighed miserably and cast a wary eye across his bedraggled troops. “I’m among the rank and file now, I suspect.”

“The men will still look to you for guidance, general,” River spoke up, directing the attentions of everypony (and everygriffon) to her. “Leadership is tested and most crucial when the fighting is harshest.”

This helped to soften the hearts of the few who were still mad at River. She might be an insufferable and possibly suicidal fool, but she seemed to have a knack for speech. Surprising considering how rarely she engaged in it.

“Thank you kindly,” Cresting Claw said with another embellished flourish. “Perhaps you should lead this army, eh? I’m not sure I could keep up with them now… bah, listen to me chirp like a chick. I live, which is more than I can say for ninety percent of our military forces.” Cresting Claw did not react to the horrified gasps of his audience. “We’re facing an enemy that we cannot defeat. No weapon we’ve employed can harm the biggest one. The little ones are easy enough to dispatch, I suppose, but are virtually endless in number.”

The medic that had been treating River’s hooves finished applying a thick, oily balm to each and rubbed it in thoroughly. For several minutes River focused on nothing but the pain and did her best to block it out. When the eagless finished, River observed her handiwork; the infected flesh was completely healed.

“That’s incredible,” she said with awe but did not question it further. She was happy to hop off the table and stand unburdened once again. Rarity was not the closest to River, but she was the quickest to move to intercept her friend, hoping to be leaned on. River did not need it, but thanked her regardless. 

“You don’t need to be so hasty, darling. Clearly we won’t be moving from here for some time. Um… no offense,” she appended, but Cresting Claw waved it off. “If the whole of the griffon empire cannot defeat this beast, I don’t know what the six of us will do.” Celestia cleared her throat. “Er, seven. Sorry, your majesty.”

“It’s quite all right, my little pony. I fear you’re correct; even if the Elements of Harmony could defeat Cho’Gath,” Celestia enunciated both syllables of his name, finding it still quite alien to say out loud. “I would not risk your lives to get close enough to try.”

A number of quiet, dejected sighs emanated from the group, the nurse and the general included. He knew such a mission was folly and considering what had already happened to his own troops, he wasn’t about to throw six young, untrained mares to their inevitable doom.

Of course, it was the seventh that had ignored the obvious futility and her own self-preservation. River wandered away from the group a short distance — closer to where Rainbow Dash was still pouting — and scrounged up a sheath for her sword. She hopped into the harness with some difficulty as she returned to the group, all of which were following her with disbelieving eyes.

As River pulled the straps taut with her teeth, she finally noticed the eyes on her. Even Dash had rejoined the group, likewise flabbergasted by River’s hubris. “What?”

“No.” It wasn’t Celestia who had said this, despite it becoming something of a trademark whenever River was involved. It was Rainbow Dash.

“I didn’t kick my own ass for a week on that boat just so I could sit here and mope. I’m going.”

“No,” Dash repeated, stepping forward and blocking River’s path further inland. “I’ll break your Celestia-forsaken wings if I have too.”

“Why not my muzzle again?”

Dash’s face fell. She sighed, looked sheepishly away, and rubbed her left hoof over her right. “I’m… sorry. I was emotional! Terrified! My sister went off and did this stupid-damn thing without telling me and now she’s planning on doing something even worse!”

River’s eyes widened a bit at Dash’s omission. Twilight knew Rainbow’s feelings and a ghost of a smile crept upon her lips.

Dash caught on quick and looked even more upset. “I don’t have a lot of family, and I never had any real siblings. So… yeah. Sister.” Vivid cerise eyes met shifty crimson ones. “Is that… cool… with you?”

River’s family was huge, she told herself again. Tens of thousands of fellow brothers and sisters in arms. But like Rainbow, she had no immediate family. It was a heartwarming prospect, and one that she agreed to after an entirely too long period of silence. She shook herself coherent. “Yes, of course it is.”

Rainbow squee’d with delight and hugged River, who stiffened like a board before returning the embrace. A hundred or more “aww’s” echoed throughout the camp. Some of the nearby griffon soldiers had heard the exchange, and both pegasi separated and attempted to look as nonchalant as possible.

“River,” Celestia began, stepping forward and looking down at her little pony with vast empathy in her eyes. “I think you’ve proven that you are not easily persuaded from a goal once you’ve set your mind to it, but I beg of you to reconsider… at least for a day.”

Every pony nearby looked up at their monarch like she had grown a second head. Rarity was the only one capable of vocalizing her opinion. “Princess! You cannot seriously be considering letting her go?! She’ll die for certain!”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” River grumbled, earning her a very unladylike hoof to her shoulder.

“This is serious, you idiot! This isn’t like your usual complete disregard for your well being! We are your friends and we’ve come to accept that you’re partially insane; even Dash routinely crashes whenever she is practicing her tricks!”

“Hey!”

“But this…” Rarity gestured toward the distant location where Cho’Gath could be heard rampaging. “This is suicidal!”

“One life or a hundred,” River intoned, having turned to face Rarity at the beginning of her rant. “I appreciate your concern, I do, but what am I compared to everything that has already been lost?” River sighed and with determination evident in her eyes, she began to slowly walk backwards toward the ship, to recover the sword she had been wielding throughout the week. “I can take care of myself. Why do you all assume I’m just going to spontaneously combust the second I get near him?”

“Why do you think it’s not valid, considering how much death there has already been?” Twilight questioned, bridging the distance between herself and the still retreating River. She then looked over her shoulder at Celestia, who appeared completely calm, as per usual. “I’m sorry princess but I can’t agree to this. I won’t let her go, even if you give your consent.”

“Me neither,” Rainbow Dash said.

“Nor I,” Rarity chimed in.

Applejack looked apprehensive. River was a good friend and the last thing she wanted was to see her hurt. But she wasn’t keen on the idea of disobeying Princess Celestia either. After a moment’s deliberation, she offered a steely nod. “Naw, this is crazy. I ain’t lettin’ her go.”

“I have streamers and I’m not afraid to use them,” Pinkie said ominously, producing from behind her back a large, thick ball of multicolored plastic ribbons, perfectly suited for impromptu restraints.

Fluttershy squeaked something that sounded like more of the same.

Princess Celestia said nothing. General Cresting Claw had stepped to the side, believing this conversation did not involve him. River looked between each of her friends and saw aggressive conviction blazing in their eyes. She knew she wouldn’t be able to evade them all, even if she attempted to leave under the cover of darkness. Twilight narrowed her eyes and, as if reading River’s mind, immediately took a seat on the sand.

“Girls, we’re taking shifts. One awake at all times. No pony takes her eyes off of River for a second.”

River’s stoic demeanor crumbled like a stack of cards. She couldn’t believe her friends would go to such lengths to keep her safe — to treat her like a fragile doll — and her anger boiled over. “You think you can keep me here against my will?! I don’t need sleep! I slept too damn much on the boat as it is! You will falter and I’ll get away.”

“Sounds like some pony needs the ol’ mother hen treatment.”

“Applejack, if you sit on me again I’ll break your ass off and feed it to you.”

A pegasus and an earth pony engaged in a tense, face-to-face contest of willpower. “Missy, you don’t know whose ass you jus’ threatened. I call first shift.”

Thus began a battle of wills between one former human and six stubborn mares. Princess Celestia made some entirely too happy noise and trotted off to get some shut eye, having been excluded from “guard duty”. 

True to her word, Applejack popped a squat less than two feet away and stared unblinking at River for nigh on five hours. River’s patience broke long before Applejack’s did, and she paced around the immediate area spouting infuriated diatribes at herself. Applejack’s unwavering gaze followed her like a hawk.

Rainbow Dash was next, having called the shift immediately after Applejack did, treating it like a contest as she was wont to do. She wasn’t quite so stern about her watchfulness, but she didn’t slouch either. River thought she could perhaps persuade her “sister” easier than she could Applejack, but Rainbow steadfastly refused every sweet comment, bribe, and wrathful outburst.

Pinkie Pie was third. By this point, River had stopped her futile pacing and went to retrieve her sword. Pinkie hopped on her back and literally rode River the entire way, much to her chagrin. Once they returned to camp, Pinkie popped off like a window decal (complete with a wet suction noise, oddly enough) and River began practicing her drills.

Twilight Sparkle was fourth, and while she was no less vigilant than the others had been, she attempted to make constructive use of their time. She tried talking River down from her foolhardy quest, and though it didn’t seem to work, River did seem appreciative of the effort. More so than just being uncomfortably stared at anyway. 

At Twilight’s suggestion, River set the sword she found on the boat aside and attempted to do what she hadn’t done since she became a pony: She tried to summon her rune blade. The act itself was simple; second nature to Riven. To River, it was like trying to grab something just out of arm’s reach. She could see it, but it wasn’t getting any closer. After an hour of intense concentration, the sword flashed into being and out of newly trained reflex, River craned her neck out to grab the hilt in her teeth.

The outcome surprised no pony. River collapsed with a yelp and immediately recoiled, falling backwards onto her rear and hissing in pain. Her jaw, her neck, her shoulders, heck, her entire upper body shrieked in protest.

A familiar sensation of weakness crept up once again…

“River!” Twilight galloped over to her friend and knelt down beside her, nuzzling under her chin as delicately as she could. The closeness was comforting to River’s pony heritage, but even Twilight’s velveteen touch was uncomfortable at the moment. “That was a bad idea. I’m sorry.”

“Had to find out sooner or later,” she replied quietly, wincing with each word. She looked at her discarded blade and shook her head in resignation. Even broken it was beyond her ability to wield. Twilight picked up on this and continued to murmur comforting things to her friend.

The final shift was Fluttershy’s honor. River’s sword hadn’t been moved since it fell, and now she was finding it hard to even swing around the much smaller one. Throbbing pains arced throughout her neck with even the tiniest of movements, but she powered through them. She could still be a warrior, she told herself, just not the same one.

It was nearly midnight now and Fluttershy was afraid of the dark. River did not look tired or deterred. River noticed her friend’s distress and stepped a bit closer, to which she received a grateful “thank you”. The next hour passed by in relative silence, the only sound being the crunching of earth underneath River’s hooves.

“How is your jaw feeling?” Fluttershy asked.

“Better,” was the simple reply she received.

“Oh, that’s good.” More companionable silence. “You know, if it still aches, I could give you a massage. I’m quite good at it.”

River didn’t shut the idea down, much to Fluttershy’s surprise. “If the pain persists, I’ll take you up on that.”

“Oh, good! You should. If left untreated it could cause a host of issues, including arthritis, temporomandibular joint dysfunction, tinnitus… in fact, I think I have a book on it. Here, let me go find it.”

Fluttershy turned away from River and walked into the nearby nurse’s tent, where she had left her pack. She had brought along few personal amenities, instead opting for a large number of medical supplies, including a book of symptoms and ailments. Fluttershy was gone for less than five minutes, returning with a smile on her face and the book balanced expertly on her back.

“Here we go. Now I don’t want to frighten you, but these are things you should be aware of to prevent careless heavy lifting in the future.” Fluttershy set the book down and began flipping through the pages with her nose. “Ah, here we are. Come over here, River.” Silence. “… River?” Fluttershy looked up but did not see her friend anywhere. Her broken blade was also missing.

“Oh buck me.”