What We Search For

by Tofazz

First published

Twilight decides to strike up a conversation with an old unicorn visiting Ponyville.

After seeing an amazing display of magic from an old pony visiting Ponyville, Twilight decides to strike up a conversation with him.
Little does she know what she is going to learn about life and that not everything can be discovered from books.

A/N: Tags and characters are prone to change as the story moves on, thanks to Slashawar for editing and Aridifolia for pre-reading.

Dream: Amõ

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Amõ

Twilight stopped and peeked up from the book she held in front of her, she squinted as she turned her head towards the center of Ponyville. Small foals ran by her in a rush, a small white unicorn filly with crystal blue eyes and small brown dots in her coat crashed into her.

Rubbing her nose the filly looked at Twilight. “I-I’m sorry miss, I didn’t mean to.”

Twilight let out a tiny chuckle before she stretched out a hoof helping the small filly up. “That’s alright; I know how it is to be caught up in things.” She said before nodding at the book she was reading.

The filly giggled as she fumbled to gain her footing again. “You’re silly, who would get caught up in books?”

Twilight’s lips tugged back into a smirk before she softly shook her head. “Books are wonderful, the knowledge they conta-“

“I don’t have time for that! I gotta see the stranger!”

Twilight let go of a sigh as she saw a white flash run away and turning the corner. Her horn flickered with a shallow violet glow as she picked up her book again, reading the cover, she proclaimed to herself. “That little filly doesn’t know what she is missing, ‘The Act of Altruism and The Effect of Egotism’ really shines light on a few fascinating parts of the pony psyche.”

She put the book down in her saddlebag and turned her head towards the corner the foals had ran around. Between the buzz of the everyday commotion, loud giggles could be heard near the town fountain. Slowly approaching the corner she perked her ears up. The giggles became more in number and more erratic.

Rounding the corner Twilight was struck with a faint red glow, her eyes grew to the size of dinner-plates as she focused on the source. At the edge of the fountain sat an old grey unicorn, he sat under a dark brown coat that was gently fastened with a light blue star shaped brooch around his neck. The unicorns face was wrinkly but between the white beard one could see a smile full of life while he showed the foals some magic tricks he knew.

The filly that had crashed into Twilight earlier giggled as she was embraced by a soothing golden glow, the old unicorns golden eyes watched while he let go of a chuckle before he spun the filly around and tossed her high up. Twilight gasped as she saw the filly plummet down towards the ground, she jumped up and galloped, thinking of a spell that could save the filly.

Twilight stopped in her track as she looked at the filly again; her jaw opened up to the length of breaking any physical laws that would deny it. The filly she just moments ago ran to save, was now flying around the square with huge wings sprouting out from her back. Twilight looked at the old unicorn, his magical aura flowed freely and effortlessly from his horn as he emblazoned the fountain he sat on with a mirage of colors.

He let go of a chuckle before his horn flickered, the golden aura embraced the small filly and placed her on the ground. The wings on her back diminished into many tiny illuminated orbs that started to dance in the wind. Twilight sat down with a heavy thud as her eyes watched the old unicorn, even when doing all this; he showed no signs of fatigue. His head rested on a dark brown cane while he smiled effortlessly towards all the foals and ponies that had gathered around him.

Picking up his hat he slowly rose and diminished the colorful magic he moments ago had in full effect. A united ‘Aaaaw’ echoed from the crowd as everything faded away, giving no signs that there ever was powerful magic used here. Twilight watched as the old unicorn made his way towards Sugarcube Corner; he gently placed his cane down leaning it towards one of the tables before he sat himself down and picked up a menu.

Twilight shook her head, snapping herself out of her trance. “How did he do that?” She muttered.

She approached the old unicorn, clearing her throat before she spoke. “Excuse me, I saw your performance just now…”

His golden eyes wandered from the menu to her, before he put it down and smiled. “You liked it?” He said with a coarse voice.

Twilight drew forth a quill and notebook, before she looked at him and said. “Yes, very! Who wouldn’t? Could you tell me how you came over such an amazing array of spells?”

He shook his head. “I’m afraid not, if one tried to use these spells without the proper training it would be erroneous.”

She smiled at him. “I think I would be able to handle it.”

The old unicorn looked at Twilight with a cold gaze. “I have acquired these spells from many years of training, trust me when I say: You can’t handle them.”

Twilight cocked her brow up as she put the quill and notebook gently back in her saddlebag. She turned around and started to make her way towards the library. “I guess I will have to find them in a book then.”

She heard a chuckle coming behind her before the unicorn said. “My dear, you won’t find these spells in any books.”

Ignoring his comment she continued her path towards the library, she felt the sun softly caressing her neck as she walked through the town. Small foals ran around playing tag or hide and seek, having completely forgotten the magic they were showed minutes earlier. Twilight shook her head while smiling at the thought of being that age again, letting go of a giggle she said to herself. “Knowing me, I would be inside with my nose in a book even in this weather.”

The tree that with-held all the books in Ponyville towered over the houses next to it, casting a grand shadow in the morning sun. Small bugs played on the light brown barked surface, leaves danced in the morning gusts. She swung the bright red door open, taking in the sight of the inside. The light brown interior had shelves cut in to them; Twilight smiled at the sight of all the books in her assortment. She walked over to the horse-head statue in the middle and swung her satchel upon it.

Short snores could be heard from the second floor, Twilight grinned before she bellowed out. “Spike!”

A loud thud interrupted the snores before a small purple head peeked over the edge of the bedchamber. “Whaa?”

Giggling, she nodded towards Spike. “Nap time is over, we got work to do. We need to read through every book that contains spells.”

Spike wobbled down the stairs while scratching his green fanned scales, yawning, he spoke. “Any special spell we are looking for?”

“Anything that might turn a whole fountain into rainbows, and something that might give a foal wings, not pretty wings like I gave Rarity, but proper wings, like pegasus wings!”

Scratching his stomach, Spike frowned. “That sounds like heavy stuff, you sure you got anything like that in here?”

Twilight shook her head. “I don’t know, but if it isn’t here, then I don’t know where it would be.”

Making his way to the ladder, Spike chuckled. “Better start looking then.”

*~*~*~*

A pile of books sat next to Twilight; she skimmed through another before she tossed it on top of the pile. She ruffled her mane hastily before she let out a sigh. “Arrgh! It’s not here!”

Picking up a few books, Spike turned to Twilight and said. “Gee… I don’t know Twilight, maybe you should go and ask him again?”

Twilight bit her lip and sighed. “But he will probably ridicule me, and laugh and… and…”

Spike shook his head as he placed a few books in their shelves. “I’m sure he won’t, now, go ask him.”

She smiled and looked at Spike. “You’re probably right, I’ll be back soon.” She said before heading towards the door.

Stretching his arms, he let go of a laugh. “Great! Then I’ll take another nap…” He looked around the library and scratched his chin. “Or… maybe clean up here?”

She felt the mid-day sun caress her cheeks as she closed the door, smirking, she said to herself. “Almost the whole day gone.”

After a small trot she saw Sugarcube Corner in the distance. Sitting in front, she saw the old unicorn at the same spot she left him this morning, seemingly half asleep from the warmth of the day.

Twilight let go of a small cough as she reached the old unicorn, as he slowly opened his eyes, she said. “I give up! I have been searching all day, not even something that comes close to mentioning what you did this morning.” She said while staring at him.

He smiled warmly at her before he pointed at a chair next to him. “I figured you would be back, and I’m guessing in your search you have completely forgotten to eat?” He said as he hovered a plate in the spot he had pointed at.

Twilight felt a pang hit her stomach as she smelled the aroma of the delicate leaves in the sandwich, she blushed while nodding slightly.” Now that you mention it…”

He chuckled again as he let the plate down. “Here, eat all you want, I ordered it for you.”

Sitting down, her eyes rested on the plate in front of her before they moved to the old unicorn that sat at the other side. “How did you know?” She asked.

He smiled at her and slowly dragged his hoof through his beard. “Years of experience my dear, when a pony gets to my age, one learns to know certain types of ponies.”

Twilight chuckled as she lifted the sandwich up with a flick of her horn. “Well I am hungry, thank you.” About to take a bite she stopped as she felt the old pony’s eyes rest on her. A tint of red sprung to her face as she uttered with a sheepish grin. “Err…”

“Oh! Sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” He said while he shifted his eyes away from her and turned to face the buzzing marketplace in front of them. “It’s just that you remind me of my late wife.” He noted as he smiled towards passing ponies.

Taking a bite, Twilight uttered a short “Oh?” before chewing lazily on her sandwich. Swallowing, she turned and smiled at him. “In what way?”

“In every way my dear” He said with a rustic voice as he turned a smile towards Twilight. “You seem to have a big heart, always trying to do what’s best for your friends and those around you. But just as her, you seem to forget that there are many things in the world that cannot be learned from books.”

Twilight swallowed the bite she was chewing on, before she squeaked. “I know that! I am doing practical research on friendship all the time, that isn’t in any books.”

He chuckled before he said. “That might be true, but what did you do the second I told you that I wouldn’t teach you a spell? You sought to your books even though I said it wouldn’t be there.”

Raising her hoof, she stuttered. “Yes, but… but” She retracted her hoof as she saw the smile on the old unicorn. She rubbed her chin a little before she said. “I guess…”

He shifted around turning to a waiter. “A cup of green tea for me and my beautiful young friend.” As the waiter turned around to fulfill the order, the old unicorn turned to Twilight and said. “I too-“ He halted his sentence and smiled heartily while he chuckled as he saw the mare in front of him having a battle of colors, her bright violet coat was losing the battle to a rapidly increasing shade of red. “What’s wrong my dear?”

Her eyes shifted away from the old unicorn and bored an imaginary hole in the ground. “N-nothing… it’s just…”

“Did I say something wrong?” He asked with a rueful smile.

Twilight’s mind froze before she uttered. “N-no… it’s just that no one has called me beautiful before.”

The old unicorn shook his head. “I refuse to believe that, you are beautiful my dear, don’t be afraid to think that.”

“T-thank you…” Twilight said before she fell silent.

Her eyes wandered across the square as she continued to eat her sandwich, stealing quick glances over at the old unicorn, he sat and smiled while he looked outwards. Time went by while they sat still, not saying anything, just enjoying each other’s company. Twilight snapped out of her trance as the waiter arrived with their order, she uttered a short and quiet “Thank you” as the cups were placed down on the table.

Twilight’s horn flickered with a dim violet hue, embracing the cup in front of her with the same glow as she levitated it. She smelled the aroma of the tea before she slowly took a sip, feeling the warm liquid pouring down her throat. Gently smacking her lips, she exclaimed. “This tea tastes great!” While looking towards the old unicorn, expecting a smile, Twilight fell silent again as she got no response.

After a few sips, he spoke still facing the crowd at the square. “Do you ever sit still like this and just think about how wonderful life is?”

Cocking her eyebrow up, she responded. “Of course I do, it’s wonderful to be alive, and the chances of us being the pony we are, are magnificent. I mean… the odds of us just being born are something that’s quite astonishing.”

He shook his head, “No, you don’t understand what I mean.” He said while he pointed a wrinkly hoof out in front of him. “Take a look, without thinking of what you can learn, take a look for the sake of looking. What do you see?”

A frown grew on her face as she turned on her chair, her eyes wandered over the scenery in front of her. After a bit she proclaimed. “I don’t see what you mean.”

“Look again, look at the world, and then look at the inhabitants.” He slowly said.

Twilight took a deep breath, closing her eyes before she once again turned to look at what he pointed at. The sun bathed Ponyville in warmth and light, many of the ponies sat still on the bench enjoying the soothing embrace from the sun. Small groups of birds flew back and forth in the hunt for their daily meal, or they sat on a branch singing a beautiful tune. Cats slinked between the many houses and booths that encircled the square.

Under a tree at the outskirts of the square sat two ponies on a bench in the shadows, the mint-green unicorn leaned over and nuzzled her companions neck before she leaned over and laid her head to rest on her lap. The beige earth pony smiled towards Lyra as she stroked her hoof through her mane, Bon Bon leaned her head back while she let her hooves rest on top of Lyra’s chest.

He laughed, “Isn’t it a wonderful sight? Those two have found something special, I doubt what they have will ever vanish.”

Without removing her eyes from the couple, she responded. “What makes you so sure?”

Letting go of a long outdrawn sigh, he said. “Take a look around them.”

Passing the bench, multiple ponies turned and scowled at the sight of the two mares. Further away a couple of ponies stood snickering and pointing at them, before shaking their head as they moved away.

Twilight shook her head. “I… don’t see what you want me to see.”

The old unicorn’s cheeks tugged back into a careful smile before he turned to Twilight and said. “What those two mares have is something beautiful; they love each other, and don’t care what others might think of it. If what they had wouldn’t last, they would hide their affection, they would be ashamed. It’s wonderful… love is strange, it will always find a way to bloom, no matter if you are of the same gender, if it is meant to be, it will be.”

Twilight’s eyes rested on the couple, letting out a small “I…” Lyra let her head fall so her golden eyes met hers, the mint-green unicorn smiled warmly towards her before she lifted a hoof and waved. An awkward smile drew itself over Twilight’s face as she slowly waved back before she said. “I… guess.”

“What about you?”

She turned with a cocked up eyebrow. “What about me?”

He smiled before he pointed at her chest with his cane. “Don’t you have somepony you want to share such a thing with?”

Twilight’s hoof ran over her mane while her hind legs scraped the ground, her eyes stared blankly into the sky. “Well, I do…”

Placing his cane down, he rested his head on it. “Does he know? Or maybe it is a she?”

“N-no, he doesn’t know.”

His golden eyes rested on her figure, in what seemed to be hours for Twilight; before he slowly said. “Why not? What’s stopping you?”

“I don’t know…” She whispered.

“Is it the fear of rejection?”

Twilight nodded absently. “I think so… I’m not really sure.”

He turned to face her before he pointed a hoof at her chest. “Stop being afraid then, what harm will come if you express your feelings for him? You might sit one day and wonder what could have been, or what should have been. If he does not know, how do you expect it to evolve? If you sit still and wait for something to happen, it might slip away from you.” He retracted his hoof and smiled. “It is often the surroundings that control such things, but in this case you control the first step.”

“But… what if he doesn’t like me back?” She said

He shook his head and sighed. “Then what? Have he then made you unacceptable for love? If he does not like you back, sure, you would be sad, and maybe disappointed, but then you know. Consider this: What if he returns your feelings? What memories would you be able to create? Maybe he’s not the one but you will never know that unless you take the first step and let him know. Are you so selfish that you won’t allow yourself to be hurt, even if it is a chance to gain what you desire most?”

Twilight stared at him. “I’m not selfish!” She exclaimed.

“You are.” He said as he met Twilights stare. “You are selfish because you can’t bear the thought of you being hurt, you don’t think it is worth it because of selfish pride. The only thing that holds you back is you. You are so afraid of how he will view you that you don’t dare to take a step forward.”

He turned away and rested his head on the cane; he smacked his lips before he spoke again. “I used to be like that… I was in love with my wife for three years before I managed to look past my selfish pride and ask her out. Truth be told, I was a nervous wreck, the thought of her rejection was unbearable.” He halted his sentence as his eyes glimmered with a lustrous flutter. “But she agreed to go out with a fool like me, that day… I felt like I could fly, I was truly happy. And the night of our first date… I had never seen a more beautiful mare in my life; I couldn’t believe I was the one she dressed up for. We lived our life from that night, for me it felt like my life was starting that night. It only took one year before I decided to ask her to marry me, I was sure. She was the one I wanted to spend my life with.”

He let go of a chuckle before he continued. “I tried to make everything perfect that evening, dinner at the most exquisite restaurant in Canterlot. A band that played her favorite song once we entered. Living light on our table and her favorite dish, everything was perfect, but still I felt that it wasn’t enough. I had saved all the bits I could afford to buy her the finest hoof ring I could find, still I was a wreck. What if she didn’t say yes?”

He turned and smiled towards Twilight. “But what a fool I was, all that nervousness for no reason. Once we entered the restaurant, she started to cry, I almost fainted when I saw it, what had I done wrong?” He stroked a hoof over his chin. “Before I could say anything she leaned over and embraced me in her hooves, giving me a huge kiss right here. Turns out… in my preparations for that night I had forgotten about her birthday, which happened to be on that day.”

A golden hue emitted from his horn, embracing the cup in front of him. He took a sip and smacked his lips before he continued with a chuckle. “After all my preparations, I managed to klutz up. Once I decided it was time, I went down on the floor and asked for her hoof. But in my nervousness and eagerness I managed to pull the tablecloth down with me, leaving me drenched in water from the flowers. I was so embarrassed I could die, I was at the verge of crying.” He chuckled. “She leaned down and helped me up on my hooves again. I stared right into her beautiful ice blue eyes… a color so cold, yet so full of love. She pressed her lips against mine, before she said the words I wanted to hear: I do.”

The old unicorn smiled before he continued. “Half a year later we stood on the altar together. I was speechless; I couldn’t find words for the beauty that stood in front of me. Her wedding gown, by Celestia was she beautiful… when the minister asked me, I barely manage to fumble forth my wedding promises and lastly: I do. When we walked down the aisle together, I was beaming, I had never been happier, and by the look on her face, she was just as happy.”

Turning to Twilight, he continued. “Our life wasn’t happy ever after, it had its ups and downs, but through each one, we had each other to rely on. To this day, I have never regretted a moment I spent with her.” He lifted his hoof and swiped away a tear that found its way down his cheek. “She died some years ago…” He turned to Twilight with a rueful smile. “Do you know what the last thing she said to me was?”

Unable to speak Twilight shook her head before she looked at the old unicorn once more. Tears trickled down his cheek as he said with a wavered voice. “What she said was: Don’t cry for me my love, I am happy, I’m not afraid. For I have lived a happy life with you, the life I wanted. And know this; I will be waiting for you up there. Try not to be sad because of me, I don’t want to be the source of your unhappiness.”

He sighed before he continued. “Even with her last breath, she thought of how I would feel, her last concern was me… it is upon death we realize what is important to us.” He stared at her as he halted his sentence; a frown manifested itself upon his being. “Separation from the ones we love leaves scars and wounds that time will never heal. But the memories you create is something no one can take away from you.” He pointed at Twilight. ”Are you willing to let the chance to experience that go, because you are afraid to get hurt?”

She shook her head as she uttered. “I-I didn’t think of it like that.”

He smiled at her. “What I’m trying to say my dear. Love is one of the things I find most fascinating about our world, when truthfully expressed without the thought of oneself, it is a wonderful thing. It is something I would call pure...” He sighed as he scanned the area in front of him, before he continued. “Unfortunately, in our world it is rarely seen, in my life I have never seen love expressed in such way between two grown ponies. During our life we are taught that nothing comes free, if you give, you expect something back. And many learn through experience that a play on emotions can get you something you want, and then a beautiful thing such as love becomes a poison of the mind. When bits and power becomes the source for one to express love, the words ‘I love you’ are seeping with poison. Nothing can hurt a pony more than love given for the wrong reasons. We as a race have given into the thought that the only reason to show love, is to get something. What we forget is the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another that love is.”

A tear trickled down his cheek as he turned to face Twilight; he softly smiled before he said. “But if you look hard enough, you will find something to give you hope. The bond between a foal and its mother is love expressed rightfully. It has been witnessed many times; a mother will do the impossible if her foal is in danger. She will jump through fire if needed, or if she deems somepony a threat to her foal she can kill, that wouldn’t be an act of hatred, but an act of pure love without thought of oneself. It is such things that give me hope for the future… the act of purity.”

He pointed at Twilight. “Make sure you express yours for the right reason. For if not, you will hurt yourself and others.”