DOOM: Hoof-Deep in the Dead

by Your Friendly Neighbor

First published

Follow the thrilling story of DoomPony as he battles through evil hordes to save Equestria from Hell

This...

This is the most badass story you will ever hear. It is the story that will be retold for generations to come. A story so frightening, so gory, that we had to make sure only the strongest, toughest ponies could even WITNESS the title being read through a blindfold! Follow the thrilling, bloodbath of a lifetime through the eyes of the most badass stallion to have ever been born. He's as strong as a earth pony, as dexterous as a unicorn, and as fast as a Pegasus... He just lacks both horn and wings. Follow his hardships through the EAC (Equestrian Aerospace Corporation) facilities and witness as he rips and tears through hellish foes for sport. He fights different kinds of monsters in his spare time. Zombieponies that wield pistols and shotguns, imps that shoot fireballs from their hooves, giant meatballs, and even a giant mother f'er that has a rocket launcher hoof.

The man, to whom I refer, goes by no name. Only the name of which he spreads to Hell's ranks... DoomPony.

Inspired by the most awesome, demon-punching human to ever exist and the cuteness of colored equine critters.

Hoof-Deep in the Dead

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Prologue

It was like any other day at the EAC (Equestrian Aerospace Corporation) Facility stationed on Hars, the closest neighbor to Earth--where the great nation of Equestria stands. Scientists, for many years, have been working on a top-secret project titled "Magicless." The goal is to teleport ponies safely over long distances without the use of Unicorn Magic. Using only science and standard magic, the scientists of EAC are working around the clock to provide what Equestria might call "The greatest form of transportation ever." But wait! Something is wrong with the hardware of the teleportation pads! They normally glow a warm yellow color, but they are giving off a hateful red color for some strange reason. Is something wrong with it? In less than an hour, the new-world transportation system stops sending things to Point-B, and starts bringing things from Point-H. Within minutes, the base is being swarmed by unstoppable foes, demons... and the onslaught of many ponies begins. Heads are ripped off, torsos ripped in two, (and still attached via hips) and the survivors are mutilated and hanged--still living.

One stallion is left unharmed in the base, though. While inside his personal quarters, he somehow survives the massacre. When he awakes from his slumber, he hears his personal radio blow up with chatter from his comrades. The radio crackles and hisses, but he can make out screams and the sounds of carnage. "Get...Off-!... Gah! There's too many! Pull-.... Oh Shi-!..." Then static. Only the sounds of the radio's screaming can be heard now. The stallion suits himself in his green armor and grabs his pistol with his mouth, positioning it to fire. The stallion trots to the nearby elevator, the location of the distress signal. As the elevator meets with its last floor, it makes a loud ding sound; the marine then knew it was time. He has to prepare for hell.

Hell has to prepare for him, too.

E1M1

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NOW ENTERING: HANGER

It begins. The lights flicker above the marine as he steps out the elevator door. He looks like he's got bones to snap--like he's pissed. The door that slid open quickly slides closed as if responding to the evil atmosphere. The stallion shifts his eyes left to right, looking around the room he stepped into. He sees the outside world to his right; Hars' evil-looking atmosphere brightly shines through clouds of orange. Hars... the only planet that was successfully colonized by science teams; the marines were there just to keep peace, even though the science teams said it was a bad idea, like a joke--look who's laughing now. It looks hellish out there, but there's more hellish things to be seen crawling around the base.

The room is grotesque, blood splatters and corpses litter the floor and walls, looking as if they were torn to pieces by some type of machine. The sight would be painful for a normal pony to stomach; as for the Doompony, he sees this stuff daily when he's on tour. He's desensitized to gore, violence, and pain.

Our hero trots over to the passageway to his far left. As he looks inside the room, he sees a stairway leading to a balcony-type room. It has a large window looking outside. On either side of the stairs, two pillars stand, which have a wall lamp on the side closest to the exit. On the top of the stairs, he sees two sergeants, (the marine can easily find a soldiers rank by their uniform) staring out the window. They look like average sergeants, but there's something off about them. They're just standing there. Just staring at the empty canvass of Hars' cloudy atmosphere. They. They are like zombies.

The marine isn't so sure of whether to approach them or not. Then, he remembers that there was some fighting, some very gory fighting by the looks of it. The ponies must be a little new to the whole "watching your friends die in horrible, mind crushing ways in front of your very eyes," and were probably shocked from all the carnage--trying to clear it out of their system. The Doompony remembers the first few times when he saw gore; he had nightmares for many months before it finally got out of his thoughts.

They still look creepy, pale, covered in blood. What the hell happened to them? The marine's only guess is that they were probably pale due to exhaustion, and were bloody from fighting their foes. The Doompony starts to walk up to them to congratulate them on their survival, but in a flash, they turn around to him and stare at him with their evil, red eyes. He resists staring directly at the pairs of red orbs, for conversion is a possibility. The zombified ponies are armed with battlesaddles, shotguns mounted on them. One fires, barely missing the Doompony. Laughing at the horrible aim of the zombie, the marine returns the favor, pulling up his pistol with his mouth, squeezing the mechanism and hitting one of the fiends in the head. Blood splatters and flies onto the other zombie, caking his coat in fresh brains, teeth, and red liquid. The carnage is beautiful. As the slain victim of Doompony's wrath falls over, the corpse crosses the line-of-fire of the other ghoul; the shotgun wielding monster stupidly fires his weapon, discharging it's shells into the fresh carcass. More blood spews out as the meat chunks of slaughter fly all over the room.

The Doompony, now covered in blood from the violent explosion of the carcass, wipes the blood from his visor and props up his pistol for shooting. He blasts the other zombie's head with elite accuracy--brain matter, skull chunks and blood fly behind the now-slain victim. Walking over to the battered bodies of the zombie ponies and holstering his pistol, the Doompony picks up the battlesaddle, adjusts the shotgun and loads in fresh rounds of buckshot. Walking back into the room he started in, he walks over to the other hall leading to a door. A body of yet another fallen comrade lays. The Doompony searches the dead body without haste for loose supplies, but fails to come up with anything.

The marine opens the door to continue through the facility. Not surprising at all, on the other side, zombie ponies wait for him. The Doompony quickly examines the room for exits or other useful things. The room looks to be a small computer room, monitors hang from the ceiling, displaying the status of this sector, and computers line the walls. The zombies are up on a slightly-raised platform in the center of the room, which is surrounded by thin walls on the back, left, and right sides with stairs leading up to the opening. A turbine spins above the zombies, casting shadows and bringing in small rays of light. Passageways leading to a hallway are on both sides of the platform. A window to the left shows the outside Hars in it's glory.

Finishing his quick examination of the room, the Doompony preps his battlesaddle, and aims towards the monsters. He bites down on his mouthpiece, opening fire as one zombie runs erratically towards him, gun in mouth, for a better shot. The buckshot of the shotgun flies rapidly towards the quickly approaching foe and strikes firmly in the monster's right forehoof. The zombie falls to the ground, clutching it's now missing hoof. The flying limb hits the other zombie pony, staggering him, buying the Doompony enough time to sprint up to the hoof-missing zombie and buck it in it's face. The Doompony is effective in shattering its skull and caving the bloody face in. By now, the other zombie regains its footing and aims at the marine with his pistol. The zombie fires, hitting the marine in the torso. It's a slightly painful experience for him, but he recovers enough to blast the assaulter's torso to bits. The liquids splash on the wall behind the zombie, coloring the metal wall with a fresh coat of red paint.

The green marine smiles under his visor at his bloody victory as he goes around the platform. He encounters another shotgun-armed zombie, shooting at him as soon as the marine turns around the corner. The zombie's accuracy is horrible, but he manages to hit a nearby computer, which promptly explodes. A stray chunk of metal from the nearby computer's explosion is ejected violently into the Doompony's visor, cracking it. Blindly, the marine fires at the shotgun zombie, luckily killing it. The marine quickly removes his helmet and throws it to the ground. The rest of the visor shatters on impact. The green marine thinks nothing of it, and resumes down the hall.

As our marine goes down the hallway to the next room, he is cut off from what he sees next. A fireball is speeding towards him! Using his instincts, he dodges swiftly out of the way and looks up to where it came from. Up, on top of a high platform at the far end of the next room, is an ugly demonic creature unlike anything he has ever seen. It is tan in color, has glowing red eyes, visible fangs in it's gaping mouth, and spikes covering it's entire body. The foul beast lifts up it's hoof and fires yet another fireball out of thin air! The Doompony is quick to act; he dodges the fireball and readies his pistol for a long-range shot. With deadly, trained accuracy, the marine lines up his shots and pierces the demonic presence in the skull. But he still stands! Another blow strikes the demon in the torso, causing him to fall head first into an acid puddle. The cracking of the spine is so satisfying.

The room with acid puddles is completely destroyed by what looks like explosives. An acid pipeline has broken, making large acid puddles all over the room. Only a small path remains, wide enough for the Doompony to traverse without any harm. Not that acid has ever stopped him! As the Doompony trots on the small path, he notices the corpse of the demon is not being harmed by the acid. It's completely resistant! If these things are resistant, could the zombies be resistant as well? Very strange, but oh well, he thinks. He reloads his weapons and walks up to the next door. As it slides open, he strafes a bit to the right as he sees another one of those Imps. He bites down on his baddlesaddle mouthpiece just in time for a direct hit with his shotgun. The imp's body is splayed open by the force of the 12-gauge shotgun, making it fly backwards and smash up against the wall.

Our heroic pony continues on. Just when he's about to open the door to the elevator, he hears the growls of zombies. He spins around and finds that zombie ponies were trying to ambush him! The zombies are behind fence-like walls on either side of the hall, a clever move for some stupid ponies. With precision marksmanship, the Doompony fires upon a barrel of explosive material that causes an explosion. On the other side, he does the same, being successful in destroying two more zombie foes. He notices that a single, unseen zombie is still alive. Only his torso remains. His intestines are falling out of his stomach as he tries without hesitation to crawl with both forehooves to the Doompony; the marine only looks down and laughs--stomping on the zombie's head and flattening it like a pancake. He's ready to go into that elevator. After loading up on ammo and reloading weapons, he opens the door to the elevator and hits the switch. The elevator whines as it starts it's decent into the unknown, the lights flickering.

E1M1 Complete!
KILLS - 86%
ITEMS - 6%
SECRETS - 0%
NOW ENTERING: NUCLEAR PLANT

AUTHORS NOTES
This is just a silly idea that popped into my head late at night. If this story gets enough attention, I might move on to E1M2 and so forth. I might do it anyway if I get bored.

E1M2

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NOW ENTERING: NUCLEAR PLANT


The transportation elevator-tram-thing grinds to a hault at its next destination. The elevator's control panel reads "Nuclear Plant" in a yellow, bold font. The doors stall before they compleately open. The Doompony is prepared for his next task: fight his way through the nuclear plant. He does not know what lies beyond the plant, but it's probably just more demons. The doors slide open, revealing a large room with a smaller room in the center. A small set of stairs go up to a small hall, which leads to a few computers on the far end of the room. A number of monitors and other technology line the walls of the hallway, which probably shown the status of this sector before the invasion.

In the silence, the Doompony hears something faint. Something evil. Some sort of creature snarls loudly, letting the marine know that he is still not alone. He looks to his left, and then to his right, watching the passageways for any zombies or imps. For a time, there is nothing. Only silence, but the silence is not without it's noise. The marine perks up his ears and listens. He can hear the shuffling of hooves approaching. Slowly, a zombie starts walking across the corridor. It stops, starts sniffing the air for fresh meat, and then looks towards the marine. The Doompony just smiles and centers his weapon on the target; he shoots the 12-guage straight into the torso of the fiend, striking it down almost instintaniously.

The shots thunderously echo throughout the room, obviously going to attract more attention. Like clockwork, another zombie appears on the far end of the room, down the computer-lined hallway, and starts making a charge for the marine. The Doompony just waits. He waits until the beast is close enough to strangle. The zombie runs like a limp animal trying to get away from something much larger than itself. It's distubing to watch--blood covering the floor with each meaty beat of the hooves. The zombie is within munching distance; it opens it's mouth wide, showing it's fang-like teeth--broken and bloodied. The Doompony grins yet again, and frontward-bucks the motherfucker in the teeth. The small chips fly out of the zombie's mouth, some stabbing through the cheek by the force, and the zombie falls with a loud screech. The voice of the creature is loud, like a mule's.

The Doompony continues into the room, and down the computer hallway. As he walks in, he finds a small storage room open to his left--and in it--some shells, clips, and a stimpack. (which he places in his saddlebag) Satisfied with his findings, he leaves forward down the hall and starts moving to his left again. He finds that the passageway to his left wraps--possibly same for the right--around the smaller room and back to where he began, which eliminates the chances of a sneak attack. While going left, the marine encounters a door, with a keycard swiper on the right of it. On it, it says in red script: "MAIN POWER: REQUIRES RED KEYCARD" Dammit! the marine thinks to himself, he needs to find that keycard.

The marine decides to turn back around and head the other direction. On the other side of the room, he finds two doors that stand tall, both on opposite sides of eachother. He walks up to the door on the right and opens it. He is met with an upward ramping tunnel, with a long window--viewing outside--streaching across the right side. The tunnel is dimmly lit and curves to the left. The Doompony follows the tunnel and finds himself face-to-face with an imp. It lunges forward, scratching his stomach and causing slight bloodloss. The marine swears outloud. He then retaliates, firing upon the demon with shotgun-fueled rage. Another bloody victory. He walks into the room at the end of the tunnel--a central computer room. On a table in the room, as half-expected, a keycard lays.

That wasn't too hard, the Doompony thinks to himself, all he has to do now is just walk back to that red door. He goes down the other tunnel leading down, seeing where it leads. It just leads back into the central room he started in, through the door he didn't go through. Pretty obvious that taking either door would lead him to the same place. The Doompony slowly gallops to the red keycard door and slides the card in the slot. "OPEN" appears onscreen, and the Doompony takes time to make sure he's ready to kill. The green marine loads up his pistol, double checks his buckshot, and cracks his neck. He quickly slams his hoof on the button and the door opens. As it does, the pony bites down on his mouthpiece, firing his shotgun and hitting a barrel of waste--which explodes. The sounds of meat tearing from explosion are echoed throughout the halls and into the ears of the marine. Beautiful.

He sees the carnage in which he had caused. Two zombies and an imp lay broken and splayed all over the floor. If these were ponies, he would feel remorse. Maybe even sadness! But lucky from him, they aren't ponies. They are filthy demons.

The Doompony quits his thoughts and trots down the hall, and starts to go up a flight of stairs. He hears the growls and moans of demons and zombie ponies as he approaches the top of the stairs. The badass marine readies his weapon, strafes around the corner, and blasts his weapon with furious rage.

Each shot that is fired from the deadly weapon penitrates at least one foe. The zombies and imps are groups tightly together, as if in some sort of meet-up. The zombies screetch as their skin tears, and the imps seem to be just fine. The spiked demons start lobbing deadly fireballs, which nearly hit the Doompony--only burning some unneeded hair. The marine, fueled with no such pity, fires his shotgun yet a second time. The projectiles ejected from the weapon hit a few zombies mid-leap as they gallop down the stairs, causing them to tumble down in the flight--breaking bones followed. Blood runs thick as the Doompony fires a few more shots into the remaining demon-ponies.

Striking down yet another group of demonic foes, the awesome demon-slayer continues to the top of the stairs and into the next room. The next room is tinted green, probably due to a crap ton of radioactive goop everywhere. This is one of the many radioactive sludge storage rooms, the facility will turn this stuff into power for the rest of the station on Hars. The catwalk above the green slime is zig-zagged, leading to an small maintenance elevator. The Doompony looks over the railing, seeing the short drop into a radioactive grave. Imagine what it would feel like to fall in there. Your skin slowly melting from the intense heat englufing the body like a filly in a bathtub; the emense pain for what would seem like hours, maybe even days! The carcuss that is your own being ate away by some type of foriegn material. The Doompony almost cringes. Almost.

The Doompony walks to the end of the catwalk and stands on the elevator. The marine activates it. It brings him down to a power generator room--which is strangely quiet and filled with demons no doubt. The demons were basically waiting for him, but the marine isn't caught off-guard. He simply lines up his targets and bites down tightly on the mouthpiece mechanism. The buckshot fires like lightning, and penetrates nicely through the imps, flying through them and hitting the zombies in line behind them. Blood splurts and chunks of meat fly beautifully behind the wounds of the demons. The Doompony wastes no time taking out the zombie ponies on the catwalks to the left and right, they didn't have enough time to pick up their own weapons.

The marine pauses before advancing, to take in the carnage. This is like a game to him, crushing the skulls of demonic foes under his hoof. His green armor now resembling Christmas spirit and deep gashes across his forehooves. His eyes filled with joy like that of a small child. How can such a stallion feel so much joy in a place filled with darkness, Hell, and death? Some say his sanity isn't quite right, other say he simply goes into his happy place during these times. No one knows what this "happy place" is, but it must be something pretty damn happy to block all the batshit insane surroundings that he had delt with in the past.

I wanna go on the ships daddy...

The marine stops his reflections and continues to a computer terminal. A dead scientist lays over the terminal, splayed open and still oozing fresh blood. The carcuss is looking straight up at the marine, but the cold-as-stone stallion just pushes the body aside and activates the console. The sounds of a door unlocking, followed by the sliding of a door echoing through the room. The marine wastes no time going through the door and down the hall. Another door yet stands, marked with a note in blood. "DO NOT OPEN... THE GODESSES HAVE ABANDONED US!" The sight of a note like this would make any pony leave with disgust in their stomachs--but not this one. The marine opens the door and, without hesitation, bites down on his mouthpiece. Before applying the last strain of pressure to fire, the Doompony stops... there's nothing there. He walks into the dimly lit room, waiting as if for an attack to sneak up on him.

With nothing in sight, the Doompony decides to start the elevator. The elevator starts it's rusty grind down the shaft, and for a moment, the marine thinks he hears a clatter up above. The noise is loud, and as the elevator continues it's decent, the decent is abruptly haulted. The elevator just stops, lights and all. The marine quickly flips on his shoulder maglight and looks around the elevator booth. Up, on the ceiling, is a hole. A hole that shows the darkness of the elevator shaft. A growl emanates from the dark void, as if on cue with the meeting of the stallion's eyes. For a short time, there is nothing, but the growl yelps out once more as an imp drops into the room. It kicks the Doompony down with it's powerful hindlegs and stares over the marine with evil intent in its deep, black eyes. Just before the imp bites down on the food layed infront of it, the Doompony makes evasive action. He rolls over to a prone position, almost having a set of chompers in his face. The marine gets back up as fast as he can and bucks at the beast. He hits the thing in the chest, sending it onto it's back. The stallion walks next to the beast and looks down upon it. It looks back up into the brown eyes of the marine, seeing the face of an evil greater than the greatest of Hells.

The beast stops its struggles, and accepts its fate...

The elevator starts back up.

E1M2 Complete!
KILLS -100%
ITEMS - 20%
SECRETS - 0%
NOW ENTERING: TOXIN REFINERY