My Little Serenity: Misbehaving is Magic

by Trachyon

First published

The Serenity crew crash-lands in Equestria. Reavers follow. Rarity sees Jayne's hat. Fashion ensues

The 'verse is a weird place. One moment, you're being attacked by flesh-eating monstrosities, the next, you're sitting down to dine with a horse.

The crew of Serenity don't quite fit in with the law. They don't quite fit in outside of it, either. They make do by handling whatever jobs that come their way, and scavenging what they can from derelict ships when the opportunity arises. But one such scavenging operation goes horribly wrong.

Reavers are the stuff of legends and nightmares. Men who flew out to the edge of the galaxy, at the end of all human knowledge. When they came back, they weren't men anymore. Foul creatures who kill the lucky ones, and desecrate the bodies of the rest before ripping the corpses apart.

Serenity flees from a Reaver infested wreckage, but not before the Reavers follow. Catastrophically damaged, the ship descends on the surface of a planet which holds more than its fair share of mysteries.

Unfortunately, the Reavers are hot in pursuit.

Rated "Teen" for occasional mature themes, such as violence, profanity in both the English and Mandarin language, potential showing of blood, possible mild sexual themes, poorly executed penis jokes, and intense amounts of Jayne.

You have been warned.

Intro: The Derelict

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“An’ you're sure this thing ain’t gonna decompress any second?” The gruff voice asked cautiously. The creaking of metal, dead in the empty water did little to ease the nerves.

“Of course not! Life support’s working fine, after all! And besides, how many times have-”

“WARNING. LIFE SUPPORT FAILURE IMMINENT. JING-GAO. JEO-SHUNG YONG-JUR GOO-JANG.”

...

“...Jayne?”

...

“...Yes Cap’n?”

“Was that the distinctive sound of a life support failure warning I just heard?”

“Sure sounded like it.”

“Oh.”

The warning repeated itself.

“...Jayne?”

“...Yes Cap’n?”

“Let’s make this quick.” The two hastened their pace down the dark, creaking corridors of the derelict ship. Footsteps echoed unnervingly through narrow metal corridors, the sound of heavy boots against rusted grating. Dim lights flickered and shut off, to be replaced by dim red emergency lights that did nothing to lighten the mood.

Looting this particular ship wasn’t ideal, but they had fallen on particularly hard times. Again. When Mal thought about it, hard times had started to become the norm. Maybe he’d invent a scale. This could be a Class 3 hard time.

"Mal?"

"Yeah?"

"You ever thought about dyin'?" Mal paused, just briefly. Jayne was never one to dwell on thoughts like that. Hell, he didn't usually dwell on thoughts at all.

"Never gave it much of a consideration. Why?"

Jayne shrugged. "Just sayin'. Ship don't seem so safe. This whole situation stinks somethin' fierce, too. I mean, what wrecks up a ship so bad like this? I'm jus' sayin'. Ambush, hull breach, loose wire... Wouldn't take much to get us humped," he grimaced.

Mal let out a short bark of laughter as he continued walking down the twisting corridors, pausing occasionally to glance at sealed bulkhead doors. "Us? Die here? Don't be ridiculous! We're not allowed to die yet."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. I got my rugged good looks, and you've got... Uh..." Jayne's expression darkened. "And you've got your winnin' personality. Well, that and your twelve gauge pump-action shotgun."

"What're you gettin' a-"

“Okay, I think this is it,” Mal hurried. They had approached a single metal door, indistinguishable from the dozen-or-so more that lined the corridor.

“You sure?”

Mal turned to face the bigger man, annoyance flickering on his face ever-so briefly. “Look here, Jayne, if I am at-all clever, and if the designer of this ship was at-all sane, then the cargo bay should be right through this door. Now we walk in there, see what we can salvage, get the others in here, and haul it all out. Okay?” And with that, Mal hit the door release, causing the door to slide open.

Onto the dining room.

Blood painted the walls.

The sounds of ripping flesh and crunching bone ceased as twelve pairs of ugly, soulless hate-filled eyes glared up at Mal.

“Wuh de mah...”

Jayne’s reaction was different.

“Oh shitohshitohshitohshitohshit.” Growling turned to snarling as twelve Reavers dropped pieces of the former crew and scrambled to their feet.

“Run. JUST RUN!” Mal slammed the door button, and it slid shut right on the leading Reaver before Jayne could even raise his gun. The two sprinted down the corridor, back the way they came.

“’Don't bother taking weapons’ you said! ‘Life signs read zero, and they’d just be more baggage’ you said!”

“Don’t start this argument, Jayne!” Mal pulled out a walkie-talkie and screamed into it as he ran. “WASH! WE’RE GETTING OUT OF HERE!”

“What, so quickly? What about the-”

“REAVERS!!”

“Tzao gao,” Wash swore under his breath. “Okay, just hurry!”

They needed no encouragement. Bloodcurdling, inhuman screams rang out from behind them. They had broken past the door. Mal didn’t dare look around, instead pulling himself and Jayne through a door to the left. Pausing only to lock it behind him, he continued behind Jayne toward the direction of their docked ship. The mess hall. The detour would take longer, but it would keep the Reavers off their trail. They would have to find a way around the locked door.

Jayne slowed his pace. “Think we lost ‘em?”

“For now, anyway. Wash, get ready to leave!” He was speaking into the radio again.

“It’s gonna take about ten minutes to fully get away from this wreck, but I- Oh no. Oh god. Mal, we’ve got four Reaver ships approaching from all different directions!”

“Wash it’s an ambush! Start undocking now and we’ll be right there!”

They both broke out into a full sprint in the direction of the ship, screams barely audible behind them. The door had just barely done the trick. Jayne panted alongside Mal.

“You okay Jayne?”

He opened his mouth to reply, before being slammed into the wall, by something from an adjacent corridor. It pinned Jayne down, and bit into his side. He screamed in pain, but smashed repeatedly on the beast’s skull with the shotgun stock regardless. Once, twice. The thing recoiled sightly with each blow, bones underneath the blackened flesh crunching inwardly. But it didn't let up, instead moving to bite into Jayne’s leg, just above the knee. Mal grabbed the thing around its shoulders and hauled it off Jayne, pinning it to a wall as it gnashed rabidly at him. Spittle flew from between its razer-pointed teeth. He kneed it in the crotch as hard as he could. Once. Twice. Thrice. Each time, an audible crunching sound could be heard. The Reaver howled in pain, and doubled over instinctively. Mal forced its head down, and brought the same knee up to connect with its blunt nose. The bone gave, and slid into the brain of the thing. It slumped over, and Mal threw it onto the floor, delivering a decisive blow to the head, just to be sure.

“It dead?” Jayne groaned.

“Hopefully. Here, gimme your hand.” Jayne readjusted the shotgun, and Mal slung the big man's arm over his shoulder, taking the weight off of his injured leg. Together they hobbled down the corridor, praying that they could outrun the Reavers. They wouldn’t be able to survive another encounter; one lone Reaver had incapacitated Jayne within moments of appearing. Now, facing off against even two meant swift and certain death. Hopefully.

“Jayne, radio in the right pocket. We need to get you stitched up soon as possible.”

“Mal, I’m fine! It’s just...” Jayne ‘s protest was cut short by Mal’s intense glare. “Urgh...” Jayne pulled out the radio, and held it by Mal so he could speak into it while still keeping Jayne steady.

“Wash, tell Simon to get the infirmary ready! Jayne’s been bitten by a Reaver!”

“He was bitten?!” Wash swore under his breath. “Okay, Simon’ll be there. Just hurry up! We’re only waiting on you now, and the Reavers'll be right on top of us in five minutes!”

“You heard him, Jayne! Double-time!” Mal ran as fast as he could supporting the large man, while Jayne alternated between hobbling and hopping to keep up. Reaver shouts could be heard on either side of them, and rushing footsteps could be heard not far behind. There were at least eleven more Reavers, and they had gotten past the locked door. Mal was now genuinely scared. Reavers had never shown this much intelligence before. They had managed to set a perfect ambush, break through a sealed door in less than a minute, and they had snuck up on and outflanked Mal and Jayne with ease.

“Down here!” Jayne grunted, snapping Mal away from his thoughts. They turned a dark, narrow corner, and saw the airlock their ship was docked at, right at the end of the wider corridor: the docking tube. Footsteps slammed against metal with horrible speed. The Reavers were literally a few metres away now, separated only by one or two doorways.

“Mal, put me down!” barked Jayne. Mal obliged, and the two burst into a mad dash towards the safety of Serenity, all pain and weariness forgotten for the moment. The ragged breaths of the Reavers could be heard right behind them, and the smell of rotting flesh, maybe the ship's former crew, could even then be smelt. There was no way they would be able to outrun them and reach the airlock, even sprinting full out; the Reavers were just too fast and feral.

Mal actually felt the breath of the Reaver on his neck as it leapt at him from behind, arms outstretched. Mal turned to face it, still sprinting. He wouldn’t let himself be taken from behind, especially not by a Reaver. In the split second it took for that innuendo to sink in, there was a deafening crack as its arms closed around Mal, only to fall away. He chanced a hasty glance behind him, and saw the Reaver lying just behind him. Its head was missing, and Mal could feel fluid on his face. The rotting smell changed to burning.

“Get in!” screamed a woman’s voice. Six more Reavers had just entered the corridor, but Mal and Jayne had already dived through the airlock. Zoe fired off two more shotgun blasts. The first caught a Reaver in the shoulder, but it only faltered slightly before regaining speed. The second caught the lead Reaver in the leg, and it slipped over the puddle of blood left by the first to fall. It was immediately trampled by the snarling monsters.

Zoe slammed the airlock button, and dragged Mal and Jayne through by their arms just seconds before the bulwark doors closed on their legs. “Wash!” she yelled.

“On it!”

Two Reavers were still pounding uselessly on the thick glass window as Serenity pulled away from the derelict ship; Mal didn’t see what happened to them as they entered the vacuum of space. They would survive for just less than two more minutes, before the blood would finally begin to boil in their arteries and veins. The moisture in their mouths and eyes would boil, fluid would cause their bodies to bruise and swell, though the skin would hold. Gas in their lungs would force them open, releasing deadly oxygen bubbles into the bloodstream. They would eventually freeze and suffocate to death. Better them than him, Mal thought

Jayne was pulled up by two men, one young, well-groomed man in medical scrubs, and one old, tan weathered man, grey hair pulled back into a short ponytail bun.

Mal turned his attention back to Zoe, discarding the spent shells from the shotgun.

“How close was that Reaver to my head?”

Zoe shrugged. “Fairly close, sir.”

“An’ you decided a shotgun would be the best weapon for the situation?” Mal asked sarcastically.

Zoe shrugged again. “It was close-quarters; I don't see any problem with that.”

“The problem was that you could’ve taken my head off too!”

Zoe smiled “It was a risk I was willing to take.” She offered her hand to Mal, who rolled his eyes as he took it to stand.

“Mal! Got a Situation!” Wash’s voice was panicked now. Mal sensed the urgency and rushed up the stairs.

“Mal?! What’s happening?!” This time it was a girl’s voice, young, and just as fearful as Wash’s had been.

“Nothin’, Kaylee, just get back to the engine and give it all she’s got, y’hear?!”

“Y-yessir!”

Mal raced from the cargo bay up through the dining area, practically leaping through the door to the cockpit as he rushed up to Wash. The pilot was riveted on what was happening in front of him, and didn’t look up even as Mal spoke. “What’ve we got?”

“Four Reaver ships, all directly behind us. They’ll catch up to us in about three minutes at this rate.”

“Kaylee’s workin’ the engine, trying to get some extra speed.”

“Did you tell her to make it quick?”

“She got the message, Wash! Isn't there anything we can do?! Cry, baby, cry?"

Wash shook his head “They’ve got a clear visual on us, scrambling won’t help at all.”

Mal paused before speaking again. “How about a Tantrum?”

“You really wanna use that now?!”

Mal practically screamed at the man; he just barely restrained himself. “Just do it, Wash!”

Wash sighed, but instantly pulled back and pressed a button on the cluttered, blinking panel above him. The ship slowed to a near halt as a small hatch opened up on its side. Outside, the blood-decorated Reaver ships were fast approaching, fixed on the fleeing Serenity. They failed to notice, however, the small metal objects ejected out behind her, a fatal mistake: There were now at least twenty to thirty of the objects, all positioned directly between the hunters and their prey. All four reaver ships entered the minefield at once. The smallest ship flew straight into a thick cluster of bombs, and was obliterated instantly, sending shrapnel out in all directions. The shrapnel set off a chain reaction, one explosion catching the next smallest ship, a cargo transport, and sending it hurtling off course, right into the largest ship. The smaller one was destroyed on impact, but the largest one was only slightly thrown off course. It charged recklessly through the mines, heavy armour protecting the bullet-shaped ship from any substantial damage, as it headed straight for Serenity.

“Oh crap.” Wash breathed.

“What, what is it?!”

“It’s on a collision course straight for us.” Wash pushed forward on the steering wheel, causing Serenity to accelerate, but it was too late.

“BRACE!” Wash screamed, and clutched at his seat with white knuckles. Mal saw nothing to grab onto, so did the only thing he could think of in a situation like this: He dropped to the floor, threw his arms over his head and mentally kissed his ass goodbye.

The Reaver ship collided head on with Serenity’s rear, and all hell broke loose. The devastating impact sent Mal reeling, and sent Serenity into a spin, the hull of the reaver ship crushing the metal plates shielding the reactor. Hull was shredded; only a small amount from the much larger Reaver ship.

“We’re hit!” Sreamed Wash, fighting to both stay on his seat and get the ship back under his control. But Serenity spun around again, causing its right thruster to smash against the reaver ship. Another deafening crash sounded through the ship, and the wing snapped clean off under the pressure.

“We’ve lost the right thruster!” Wash yelled again. He chanced a hasty glance at Mal, who was sitting up against the back wall of the bridge to remain as steady as possible. Wash opened his mouth to speak, but a high-pitched beeping from the console interrupted him. Looking at it, his eyes widened in horror. “Uh, Mal?! We’re gonna be making a crash landing!”

“WHAT?! ON WHAT, EXACTLY?!”

Another loud crunching sound, and the ship begun to vibrate. “We’re being pulled in by a planet! Going too fast to steady the descent!”

“WE’RE FIVE DAYS AWAY FROM THE CLOSEST PLANET, WASH! HOW EXACTLY ARE WE-” But he was cut off when the ship gave a terrifying, stomach-churning lurch, throwing Mal up off the floor. The constant vibrations reached a worrying intensity. The creaking of metal expanding under intense heat could be heard as the ship entered atmosphere.

“I can’t stabilise using the thrusters, I’m going to try something else! Hold on, this is going to get bumpy!”

They were now flying through black clouds, barely visible past the wall of superheated air that tore against the window. Mal noted the glass glowing an unnerving shade of red round the edges. The sheer force of the air screamed inside Mal’s head, and red flames razed the exterior of the ship. Mal felt Serenity ever so slightly tilt upwards as Wash valiantly attempted to pull up on their descent. The roaring and shuddering wouldn't stop; the sound threatened to split Mal's head apart. He could feel every bruise and ache on his body as he was thrown about the cramped cockpit.

The clouds suddenly vanished, just barely revealing a dark field stretching on beyond the view of the front window. Mal only just registered that the ground was rushing to meet them through the darkness at an alarming rate, before Wash made one last effort to pull up on the ship’s steering wheel, trying to aim the ship's remaining thrust against the ground.

BRACE FOR IMPACT!” He yelled, only letting go of the wheel at the last second to double over, throwing his arms over his head.

Mal was not so fortunate. With nothing to hold on to, he rocketed forward on impact, flying forward and smashing his arm into the pilot’s seat, before a sudden and mind-splitting pain caused him to black out entirely.

Chapter 1: The Shower

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“Ugh, could you keep it down please, Spike!”

...

"Zzzzz..."

"Spike!"

She was answered by yet more snoring. Twilight groaned. She tossed and turned for another few minutes, eventually kicking the covers right off from her. Exasperated, she sagged out from under the bedcovers, and trotted downstairs, guided by the soft light of her horn. Save for Spike's rumbling, the library was comfortingly, almost stiflingly, silent. Purple light spread on the expansive wood floor, fading in such a way that the bookshelves at the walls were just left in half-shadow.

Casting aside any plans for sleeping soundly tonight, Twilight took a pair of already bulging star-emblazoned saddlebags from the nearby table, and, taking great care so as to not wake up Spike, slowly crept out the front door, into the night.

Twilight cringed as the door creaked to a close. The sound, however, was exaggerated by the small rush of adrenaline she felt as she stepped out into the night. A cool breeze whipped past, and Twilight breathed deep. It was times like these, when she would sometimes wonder just why she'd spend so much time indoors. That feeling of cold, refreshing air being sucked in from her mouth, to come to rest all the way down to her lungs, was simply euphoric. Taking in deep, fulfilling breaths, Twilight craned her neck to gaze up at the sky. The moon had passed its zenith long ago, and the sky was deep and dark to the point where, if Twilight strained, a nebulous cluster of stars could just barely be seen amidst the countless other pinpricks of light. The more she stared, the less the stars seemed like painted dots on a faraway canvas, and the more they seemed like what they actually were: just like Celestia's sun, they were orbs of light and warmth and magic, worlds away, completely isolated from each other and Equestria.

Twilight sighed happily. She was content to just lie down then and there to stargaze, but common sense prevailed. She set off through the silent streets of Ponyville, passing by the silhouettes of houses, carts, and market stalls. Another breeze stirred.


After half an hour of walking through empty, house-lined streets, to wide roads, to barren dirt tracks, Twilight came to a rest at the top of a small hill outside Ponyville, overlooking the expansive meadows. Everfree forest was silhouetted eerily in the distance; black, bare branches reaching up at the night sky. Twilight Sparkle levitated the contents of her saddlebags out and set them down: A small, collapsible bronze telescope, a matching tripod, a weathered notebook, a messy quill, and a pot of ink.

Setting these down around her on the soft grass, telescope expanded and affixed to the tripod, Twilight gazed upwards at the night sky. As was usual for the season, the sky was free of clouds, and even more stars than had been visible back in Ponyville could be seen from here. That nebula from before could now be seen more clearly. Two, maybe three stars could just be distinguished from the faintly glowing cloud. Twilight took in a huge, drawn-out breath of fresh air, and smiled. Research didn’t get much better than this. Just her, fresh air, open night sky, and a telescope. Maybe she could even catch that comet if she was lucky...

The pages of the notebook were flipped from left to right by a magical wind, slowing to a halt as a certain page was revealed. Twilight positioned herself so she could lie under the telescope and still easily glance at the open spread of the book. But just as she moved to the lens of the telescope, a small flash in the sky caught her attention. Twilight's head shot up, a grin spreading on her face

“Ha, I knew it!”

Sure, it wasn’t particularly impressive, and it happened every two-and-a-half years, but it was still worth watching the small chunks of ice and rock hurtle across the sky.

Twilight put her eye to the telescope, angling it to intercept the path of the comet when it passed. Minutes flew by with her just standing there atop the hill, occasional breezes chilling her, sending shimmering white waves through the grass. But Twilight was rewarded with a bright flash of light burning through the sky. The light was dim in comparison to other comets Twilight had observed, but it was a spectacle of light nonetheless, illuminating the sky, making it shine a deep blood red as it fell down towards the ground...

“Wait, what?”

Twilight was about to further question what she had just seen, but was distracted by a faint shouting. It was growing louder, however, and Twilight could make out the sound of somepony female calling her own name. Confused, she took a few steps away from her telescope towards the source of the ruckus that had broken the silence.

“...-light! TWILIGHT!” The voice was shrill and high-pitched.

“Pinkie?!” Sure enough, the silhouette of the bouncing pony could just be made out, as she raced up to meet Twilight.

“TWILIGHT!”

“Calm down Pinkie! What is it?!” Pinkie was jumping up and down almost uncontrollably before Twilight Sparkle, and her words were distorted by her frantic hopping.

“T-t-t-witch-y-y-y t-ta-a-il!!!”

The lavender mare stared blankly. “Come again?”

“I-I g-got a t-t-twitchy t-t-tail!!”

Twilight continued to stare blankly, but realization struck her. Glancing up at the sky, she put two and two together, and let out a laugh. “Oh Pinkie, it’s probably just the comet! It’s nothing to be afraid of!”

Pinkie’s tail would twitch uncontrollably whenever something was about to fall down. Twilight had never seen any logic or pattern to it before, but it seemed to be accurate enough in most circumstances. Apparently, Pinkie was able to foretell celestial events, as well. That might come in handy for comet-watching... Twilight mused to herself.

"B-b-b-but-"

“Actually, about that comet...” Twilight turned back to her telescope, peered through, and let out a gasp at the sight that met her eye.

The entire sky was a deep, vivid, blood red. She didn't need a telescope to see that.

Before, there had been one comet, barely visible through a lens. Now, countless fiery objects were raining down from the upper atmosphere, lighting it up as they burnt through the air. Twilight’s and Pinkie’s gazes were both drawn to two particular objects.

The first was massive. Twilight could only gape at it in horror and disbelief as it descended down towards the mountains. It had to be at least as big as Canterlot Castle, if not bigger! Pieces of fire and molten chuncks split off from it, and razed the ground beneath as they fell. The distant, thunderous booming of explosions could be heard as each individual meteorite impacted, even if it happened to be miles away. The terrifying bulk of the object itself roared right over the mountains in the distance, and let off an echoing cacophony of blasted rock as it landed in the steep range beyond the Everfree Forest. Twilight could only begin to imagine the damage caused, if the noise of its landing had carried even across the entire forest.

With the first meteor gone from Twilight’s sight, she shakily turned up to the second smaller, but still colossal flaming object...

“RUN!” Yelled Pinkie, desperately tugging at Twilight’s tail with her teeth. But the unicorn was transfixed on the fireball heading straight for her. Twilight thought such a sight impossible, even as she gazed right up at the terrible prominence rushing at her. It was dreadful, it was apocalyptic, and it was amazing, in every sense of the word; she’d never seen anything burn so brightly in her entire life...

“TWILIGHT!” The frantic cry bought her back to attention, and Twilight bolted away with Pinkie Pie. She dared not look behind her as she felt the ground rumble with the scream of fire now blaring from up above. Painful heat could be felt on her flanks, growing hotter by the second as the roaring became unbearable. Adrenaline flooded Twilight's every system. At that moment, Pinkie Pie wrapped her hoof around Twilight, and kicked off with all the strength she could muster in her back legs. The two dove forwards, and Twilight had just enough sense left to channel as much magic as she could possibly muster through her horn. With one final, impossibly ear-splitting explosion, the object impacted against the ground, sending up a tidal wave of dust. Running away from a force like that was futile. Air and heat surged beneath the hooves of the two ponies, and they were carried away from the ground like ragdolls, completely helpless.

Pinkie screamed and clutched at Twilight, but the purple pony paid no attention as she completed the casting of her spell. Fluid chains of magic spilled out from her horn, purple light weaving around them to form a perfect sphere, even as they sailed through the air. The net of light solidified, and Twilight’s horn ceased its glowing. The spell finished, she instinctively clutched Pinkie Pie in return, bracing for the bone-crunching impact they knew was going to come...

But it never came. A minute passed, and Twilight forced herself to open her eyes. Pinkie was still holding Twilight, her own eyes shut tight. They hadn't been smooshed.

“Psst! Pinkie!”

Pinkie opened her eyes at the sound of Twilight’s voice. She glanced around fearfully, before looking the her friend straight in the eyes. “Wh-what happened?!”

“I cast a shield spell to protect us from the impact. Actually, I didn’t think it would work that well, considering the fact that I was flying through the air when I cast it...” As if on cue, the bubble of magic cracked audibly, before shattering completely into fading specks of light. Without the magic suspending them, gravity noticed them again, and Twilight and Pinkie both plummeted down to the floor. Twilight was shaken and winded by the recent events, and the fall, but she and Pinkie both managed to rise to their feet.

Pinkie let out a cough as the dust cloud around them thinned. “What the hay was that, Twilight?!”

The dust was still thick to the point where neither pony could see a metre around them. Twilight frowned, and shook her head. “I honestly have no idea, Pinkie. I guess it could be a meteorite, except they’re usually much smaller, even if they don’t burn up in the atmos-”

“HEY! HEY! Maybe it’s a U.F.O!! OHOHMAYBE THERE’RE ALIENS!! DO YA THINK THEY’RE FRIENDLY?! MAYBE THEY WANNA PARTY! OH I SHOULD THROW A PARTY FOR THEM SEEING AS HOW THEY’RE NEW AND THEY’VE ONLY JUST ARRIVED...” Pinkie was bouncing up and down energetically as usual, the recent trauma apparently forgotten in the wake of this new discovery.

Twilight arched an eyebrow. Even with Pinkie’s ridiculous attention span, she had switched from ‘fearing for her life in the wake of a catastrophic meteor strike’, to ‘BUCKING CELEBRATE EVERYTHING’ in an astoundingly short time.

“Pinkie, I reeaally don’t think-” But the pink pony had already shot off, back in the direction of the disaster they had just been trying to avoid. Within seconds, Pinkie had disappeared over the crest of the hill, oblivious to Twilight’s shouts.

“Pinkie!! Pinkie!! Ugh...” groaned Twilight. Seeing nothing else for it, she galloped off after her cheery friend, praying that Pinkie was wrong.

Chapter 2: Electric Scootaloo (DISCLAIMER: NO SCOOTALOO.)

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Ngh...Mal! Mal!”

“Urgh...” Mal’s head was pounding... no, practically splitting at the seams as he woke. Intense pain shot through his entire body, to the point where waves of nausea washed over him with even the slightest movement. The room was spinning, and Mal felt as if he were falling straight forwards, before realising that he had been lying on his back the entire time. Hang on... somebody was talking to him. The pain in his ears gradually reached his brain, as Mal noted with some annoyance that somebody was shouting right into them. He opened his eyes, but shut them immediately afterwards as sharp, painful light drove directly into them.

“Oh, thank god! Mal! Can you hear me?!” Again with the ears.

“YES! Yes, Wash, I can hear you!” The sudden shouting caused an immense pain to spike up in his chest. Mal feared that he had crushed something.

Wash had apparently noticed the grimace of pain on his face. “You okay?”

Mal inhaled, slowly. “Wash.”

“Yes?”

“I was attacked by Reavers. Twelve, Reavers. Then we got ambushed. BY MORE REAVERS. The right thruster has been torn off of my ship, along with a considerable portion of the hull. You have crash-landed my ship, head first, on an unknown planet which apparently wasn't here not so long ago. It is more than likely that those same Reavers will come after our wreck of a ship and skin us all alive. Not only that, but I have most likely broken a bone or five. Now after all that, you gonna ask me if I’m feeling fine?!”

Wash visibly blanched as Mal spoke, and could only stare for a moment, before remembering how to speak again. “Erm... I, well... Yes?”

“Wash.”

“Yes?”

“Get Simon, please.” Wash immediately hurried to his feet to fetch Simon. Mal was hurt bad, even if it didn’t look like it.

Mal lay back. God, how had it come to this? He could barely breathe, Serenity was inoperable, and those damned emergency lights were going off again.

“No wonder Inara’s leaving...” He muttered to himself.

He felt like he should do something, and was about to see if he could at all move, but footsteps on the metal stairs heralded the approach of Simon. He rushed to Mal’s side, blue medical scrubs stained slightly with specks of blood.

“Mal, how’re you feeling?! What happened?”

“The ship crashed, I went forwards into the window and blacked out. Think I mighta hit my head, too.”



Simon was already holding a small flashlight up to Mal’s eyes, alternating his own gaze and the beam between the individual eyes every few seconds. “How long were you unconscious for?”

Wash was standing behind Simon, beyond Mal’s line of sight. He probably would’ve gone unnoticed if he hadn’t spoken up. “Actually, it was only a few seconds after the crash that he woke up. Couldn’t have been longer than a full minute.”

Simon nodded, still not taking his eyes off of Mal. “How is your head feeling? Any headaches, pains, dizziness at all?”

Mal shook his head, surprised to find that he could move it at all. The initial pain had left, except for his arm and chest. Those were still hurting like hell.

“No nausea or disorientation?”

“Aside from when I was crashing into a planet headfirst, no.”

Simon directed his attention away from Mal’s head and down to his torso, systematically inspecting every part of his body. Mal let out a gasp of pain as Simon prodded at his ribs. Simon glanced up, then carefully pulled up Mal’s shirt, before examining his torso.

After a few too many pokes and gasps of pain, Simon seemed to have reached a conclusion. “Well, it’s nothing fatal, at least. I think. At least two ribs looks to be fractured, or broken. Your arm is definitely broken, too.”

Mal made an attempt at a grin. “And the bad news?”

The corner of Simon’s mouth twitched upwards, before his face became a mask of seriousness yet again. “I’d recommend that you stay off your feet us much as possible, for now.”

“Simon, were you here for what just happened? We’ve just got ourselves stranded on an unknown planet, being hunted by Reavers, and you think I’m just gonna let my crew stroll around without me? Or would you rather we just wait here for them to find us?”

Simon remained silent. Mal pulled away from him to set his back against the wall, bracing to pull himself to his feet. He let loose a small grunt of pain as he bent over, but he pushed the sensation away, as he staggered upwards for a brief second. He was still light-headed, but it was nothing he couldn’t cope with.

 Simon followed Mal up with a roll of bandage in his hand, lifting up his shirt to awkwardly wrap it around his torso

“Simon, I’ll *wince* be fine. I've-gah! ...I’ve coped with worse!” He flinched again as Simon tightened the wrappings. “Did I ever tell you about the piece of shrapnel I got lodged in me back durin' the war?”

The doctor finished by tying a knot in the sling Mal’s arm now lay in. “Mal, this isn’t just some flesh wound. If you hadn’t thrown your arm up like that, you could’ve easily been kill-”

Knock, knock.

It was loud and metallic, and hollow. Something was pounding against the hull of the ship.

Knock. Knock.

Something strong, and hard. The impacts were more distinctive this time, more demanding, as if whatever creature there was outside had grown impatient.

“...Mal?”

The knocking repeated, bringing Mal back to his senses.

“Simon, stay with Jayne. Try and get him up on his feet, if you can.”

“But-”

“Does nobody listen to me anymore?!”

Simon sighed, but hurried out regardless, leaving Wash and Mal together.

“Wash, you're with me on this one. Think you can handle a weapon?”

“Uh, I guess?”

“Good. Get down in Jayne’s quarters and see what you can find for yourself.”

It didn’t seem possible that a man’s face could turn more pale, yet Wash managed it. “From... Jayne’s room, Captain?”

Mal groaned, only mostly due to the pain. “He’s unconscious, and somehow I don’t think he’ll mind too much, considerin’ the circumstances.” At this point, Mal just wanted to get this over with so he could lie down.

The thing outside seemed to share his opinion.

Knock-knock-knock-knock.

They were frantic now, desperate to break through the metal of the ship. But they had stopped just as suddenly as they had begun. Horrible silence reigned, before Mal heaved himself out into the corridor of the ship, Wash tailing behind before stopping at the hatch to Jayne’s room.

Mal flung open the door, and rushed out into the dining room, colliding headfirst with a wall of questions.

“Mal, what’s happening? What happened to your ar-”

“Mal, what’ve you done to Serenity this time! You keep treatin’ her l-like this and I-”

“What was that knocking on the ship earli-”

Mal.” The voice was no louder than the rest, yet the command it carried drowned out the rest easily.

“Okay, Zoe, you first.” Mal spoke wearily. Though he was thankful that Zoe had silenced the babbling, he still wasn’t ready to answer the slew of questions that would inevitably follow. He just needed rest.

“Where’s my husband?”

“He’s fine. How's everyone else holdin' up?”

Shepard Book stepped forward. "We... are a little shaken, maybe a bruise or two, but we'll be fine. Barring yet another deadly Reaver assault, of course."

"Right. How 'bout you, Kaylee?"

Kaylee turned away from Mal, clearly angry. "Mal, hùn zhàng! You can't pull off a single stupid salvage mission without breakin' every bone in Serenity, can you?! Honestly, why I put up with your luh-"

"Kaylee, now is not the best time!" He turned to his first mate. "Zoe, you're with me. Us three are goin' down to the bay."

Shepard Book stepped forwards from where he had been sat with River “‘Us three’?”

“Yeah, ‘us three’. Me, Zoe, and Wash. We got ourselves some Reavers a’knockin’, and I’ll be damned if I, the captain of this ship, am not present to see them off.”

Zoe seemed to let up just a bit. 

“Fine. Then I’m going to fetch my gun... again, and while I do, you’re going to describe everything that happened from the moment you stepped on board that derelict, to the second you walked in here.”

God, women could be cruel.

Chapter 3: The Ship

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“Pinkie! Pinkie!!” Twilight screamed after Pinkie until she was hoarse, but the pink pony was oblivious to her friend’s frantic yelling. Twilight raced after her, fearing for both their lives.

You’re worrying over nothing! Aliens don’t really exist... They’re about as real as those humans...

Twilight found little comfort in the thought.

By the time she had caught with Pinkie she was hyperventilating, and sweating from the long run.
“Maybe, I *pant* should... get out *wheeze* some more...”

She practically rolled down the steep hill Pinkie had descended just a few seconds ago. Twilight came to a tumbling stop, letting her head fall to the blissfully warm soil.

“See Twilight! I told ya it was a spaceship!” Pinkie bounced up and down just beyond Twilight’s view.

“Wha...” the unicorn raised her head groggily. What she saw blew her mind away as much as the explosion had done to her mere minutes ago.

The thing, the spaceship, was massive. It towered over Twilight, who wondered just how she had managed to avoid seeing it until now.

“This... is a spaceship?!” She asked in an awed, hushed voice. The shape of the thing was entirely different from the saucers that showed up in books, and pictures. A large part of it protruded over Twilight and Pinkie, like a neck. The way it craned above them made Twilight think that whoever built it had built it with the image of a swan in mind... or a swan-like creature of some sort, at least.

Nevertheless, it looked stunning. Twilight’s eyes were drawn down the length of it, and she poured over every facet of the metal plates as they gleamed in the light of a nearby fire.

Her gaze caught on one particular feature partway down the neck. On top of the silver surface had been painted an odd logo: A yellow circle within a red circle, both faded with time. Inside the yellow circle were two symbols, painted in red again. The markings were alien, and impossible to read, but another set of symbols was overlaid atop the last, this time in white paint. These markings were simpler, and stretched across the horizontal length of the logo. Twilight was surprised to see that she could understand these letters at all. Some were backwards, and some had strokes added or removed, but Twilight could recognise just enough of the letters to piece together the word they spelt out: Serenity.

Doubt crept into Twilight's mind. What if these weren't bad aliens? The name of their ship seemed peaceful enough...

But Twilight forced these thoughts away, and continued down the rest of the ship.

Where the neck ended, the main body of the thing began. Just that section alone was larger than most houses in Ponyville! Jutting off from the main body was a small wing, stumpy in comparison to the rest of the ship. It seemed like it should’ve been larger, but Twilight noticed shredded panels and loose pieces of metal trailing out of the structure like a wound. The ship had been damaged in the crash...

Twilight moved away from this detail, and continued down the rest of the ship. From the angle she sat at, she could just barely make out what she thought the most interesting aspect of the ship: The large, bulbous section that formed about a third of the ship. Twilight could tell, even with her lack of knowledge on the particular ship, that this was an amazingly complex piece of engineering, far beyond anything anypony now could design. She could see, even from the outside, that every plate, grate, and cylinder all had been constructed and placed with great precision. The attention to detail, the inner workings of the machine, and the care with which it was made boggled Twilight’s mind. That, and it glowed. There were slots in the rounded section through which extraterrestrial lights shone and flashed hypnotically.

"Almost looks like a firefly..." Twilight mused to herself.

Whatever alien race that had built this ship was incredibly-

“OhheylookatthisTwilight *inhale* doesthislooklikeadoortoyou?!”

“Pinkie! What are you-”

Knock, knock.

“PINKIE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

Knock, knock.

Twilight nearly tore out her mane in frustration at Pinkie’s complete disregard for the sanctity of their lives. Pinkie turned away from the metal wall she had been knocking on with her hoof, and beamed at Twilight, as if her purple-furred friend was not, in fact, beginning to incite spontaneous oxygen combustion in the immediately present atmosphere.

Pinkie giggled, “Silly Twilight! It’s rude to enter someponies’ home without knocking!”

Twilight gawked at Pinkie. Sure, the logic was there. It just didn't make sense.

Pinkie knocked again, louder this time. Twilight cringed as each resounding thud echoed around her.

“Pinkie, I don't... how... what...” Twilight decided to stop trying to make sense of Pinkie, choosing instead to rush up to her, grab her by the shoulders and actually shake some sense into her while screaming at the top of her lungs.

“PINKIE! WILL YOU LISTEN FOR JUST FIVE MINUTES?! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU’VE DONE! WHO KNOWS HOW DANGEROUS AND UNFRIENDLY THESE ALIENS COULD BE?! WHAT IF THEY WANT TO DESTROY ALL OF PONYVILLE?!” Twilight pondered on that thought for a second, pupils contracting in shock. “Oh, nonononono... I’ll have to alert the mayor... we’ll have to evacuate Ponyville, and live somewhere else... but what if there’re more of them? What if they follow us? What if they have weapons a-and want to take over Equestria? Pinkie, what have you do-”

Knock-knock-knock-knock.

Twilight stopped, and blinked. She blinked again.

Pinkie had long since left Twilight’s grasp, and was back at the ship, pounding on the bulkhead. Twilight’s heart skipped a beat, and her horn flared to life, purple aura spreading from the tip to encompass Pinkie.

Pinkie noticed this, and at the last second, planted her rump firmly on the ground. Twilight pulled back with her magical field, only to feel it snag against something she had never felt before: A fixed point. An area within space which remained constant relative to everything around it. Twilight was surprised, but continued to tug against Pinkie.

Pinkie only pushed harder into the ground, her muzzle pointed up towards the metal roof in a pout. “Nuh-uh, Twilight, I’m making sure that these new friends get a proper welcoming, and you're not gonna stop me!”

Twilight groaned loudly. “Pinkie, would you... just... listen for... a second- Eek!” The unicorn had been physically pulling back against the magical field containing her friend, but the connection snapped, sending Twilight reeling backwards.

Now she was really losing it. Twilight refocused her magic, and Pinkie disappeared in a flash of light. The flash repeated, and faded with Pinkie standing in the exact same spot as before.

Now this was just getting ridiculous.

Twilight repeated the teleportation spell several more times, each time ending with the same result. Pinkie still had the same adamant frown on her face, and she hadn’t moved an inch away from the crashed ship. The purple pony had reached the end of her tether. “Pinkie... You are really getting out of hand...”

Pinkie’s mane deflated just slightly. “Twilight, if I don't make the aliens feel welcome, who will?”

Arguing her point was useless. Her magic was useless. Clearly, only one thing would get Pinkie safely away from these invaders. Twilight set herself up against Pinkie’s flank, arched her back, and pushed with all her might, just hoping that maybe she might budge.

Pinkie remained rooted to the spot. It was like pushing against a tree... No. Twilight was determined. Her friend was in danger, and she was the only one who could save her. Twilight kept pushing, right up until the moment the ship begun to move. Steam hissed out from the rusted plate before them, and the sound of metal scraping on metal grated against Twilight’s ears.

Pistons moved down on their supports, and light streamed out from the ever-widening opening above. Both ponies shielded their eyes as a ramp descended before them, leading up into the alien interior of the crashed ship.

This is it... This is really it... thought Twilight, as the ramp settled in the dust. Two pairs of eyes gazed in wonder at the tall figures standing at the entrance of the ship...

Chapter 4: The Aliens

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Wash hurried down the stairs to stand beside Zoe. Mal noted with some unease the gargantuan gun that the pilot just barely managed to carry. Wash looked across to Mal, and frowned at the look on his face.

“What? What’s wrong?”

Mal quickly broke eye contact, choosing instead to awkwardly look straight ahead. “Oh, uh, nothin’. It’s just... that gun...”

Wash looked nervously down at the he held, turning it over in his hands as if it were an armed bomb. “What?! What about the gun?”

Mal shifted on his feet. “It’s just... I think Jayne... I think he likes that gun.”

Wash turned his gaze from the gun back to Mal, completely deadpan. “...So?”

“I mean... I think he really likes that gun.”

“Okay...”

“He... he calls it Vera.”

Wash froze in place, eyes wide. “This?! This is Vera?!”

“Mm, yes.”

“...Oh.”

“You sure you don’t wanna reconsider your choice in firearms?”

Zoe smirked at Mal. “You’re not jealous of the guy with the larger gun, are you, sir?”

Mal looked down at his revolver. He looked over at Wash’s gun. Sighing, he stepped over to the bay door controls. “’Least I don't feel the need to compensate for what I’m lackin’...”

Wash suddenly found great interest in the finer details of his bootlaces, but Zoe only smiled even more. “Trust me, he’s not compensating for anything.” Mal nearly choked at this remark, but regained composure quickly. He turned to Wash and Zoe, all three now serious in light of the current situation.

“Everyone all safe?”

Wash nodded. “Simon’s with Jayne in the infirmary, Inara, River, Book and Kaylee are all in the dining room. Book's armed, too.”

Mal nodded. There was no way of knowing how many Reavers there were outside. If they got swarmed, and overrun, the Reavers would continue into the rest of the ship. Better to die quickly, than be alive when the Reavers got to you. Mal knew that Book would never take that way out; he’d get everyone to the safety of the shuttles, then maybe lead the Reavers away, while heading to the cockpit to continue sending a distress signal. Mal knew Book would do that; he’d do the exact same thing. Though maybe with more bullets.

He held his hand over the airlock release. “You ready?” Zoe raised her shotgun in reply, and Wash followed suit, albeit with more difficulty, due to its sheer weight.

“Good.” He slammed down on the button, and moved to stand beside Zoe again. Steam could be heard hissing, as pistons slid into position. The bay door slowly lowered itself to the ground outside, revealing more and more of the darkened skyline. Fires could be seen in the distance, giving the sky an eerie red glow, as smoke blotted out the natural light of the moon.

Zoe cocked the shotgun, and Mal raised both his own revolvers to eye level. Twelve shots.

The ramp finally hit the ground with a dull thud and a final dying hiss, fully exposing the outside world they had crashed down onto. Three pairs of eyes quickly adjusted to the night, and four fingers instantly went to triggers as two forms became visible directly in front of the ship.

Mal, Zoe, and Wash all tensed at once, ready to let bullets fly if anything so much as disturbed the fragile tension that had amassed.

Their eyes, however, became even more accustomed to outside, and light from the ship’s interior further illuminated the two small forms. Too small to be Reavers. Too colourful to be Reavers.

No, these looked like...

“What the fu-”

“Are those...”

“Tai-kong suo-yo duh shing-chiou sai-jin wuh duh pee-goo...”

The pink... thing on the left gasped loudly, inhaling a huge amount of air. Before anyone could even react, it had disappeared in a blur, only to reappear in front of the three crew-members, before appearing again behind them. It was impossible to track it directly as it continued to jump about, spewing out an incomprehensible stream of words in a shrill, excitable voice.

“OhmygoshareyoureallyREALLIVEALIENS?! I’veneverseenanalienbeforeeventhoughI’vemetjustabouteverponyinPonyville (She inhaled deeply again) Arethoseraygunsthatyou’reholding? Ihopeyouweren’tplanningtousethose (inhale) ’causethatwouldbemeanandunfriendlyanditwouldruinthepartybecauseIthrowpartiesforeveryponynewwhoImeetjustlikeTwilightSparklewho’stheponyoverthere (The pink blur could just barely be seen pointing a stumpy appendage at the other form outside, as it shied away towards the safety of the shadows) Andshewasalllike ‘It’sabadideatomeetyou’ butthat’sjustTwilightbeingTwilightand-ohsillymeIdidn’tintroducemyself! My name’sPinkiePiehowaboutyours?”

The blur came to a halt before the feet of the three dumbstruck humans, smiling up at them. It was some sort of quadrupedal creature, but the resemblance to any known animal ended pretty much there.

Hell, it was pink. And its face... it was capable of showing human emotion, but the eyes were ridiculously huge and brigh-

“Hellooo! Equestria to aliens! You do speak Equestrian, right?” The pink thing frowned up at the three humans. Wash looked down at it, mouth agape. Zoe slowly lowered her gun in disbelief, her eyes rapidly scanning every detail of the alien creature. Mal slowly looked up at Zoe, face entirely deadpan. It was at that exact point, that Mal discovered that he possessed the eloquence to convey his entire emotional spectrum at that moment in time, with just one simple word.

“What."

Chapter 5: The First Impression

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The pink thing stared up at the three towering aliens, the anticipation on its face melting slowly away to be replaced with a gradual look of fear. Silence filled the cargo bay, tension rising along with it. Zoe, never taking her eyes off of it, did her best to keep a private conversation with Mal and Wash.

“Mal, this thing... what the Hell is it?!”

Mal kept his voice as hushed as Zoe’s, his eyes on the near-whimpering creature below him also. “Damned if I know.”

Wash leaned inwards towards the thing; it shuffled backwards slowly. Maybe Twilight had been right...

“It... It sort of looks like a... horse, or a dog.”

Mal glanced up briefly at Wash. “You ever seen a dog lookin' like that before?”

Wash faltered. “Well... maybe somebody dyed it. And gave it a mask... And... taught it English...” He trailed off at that point. The answer was obvious, yet impossible. Even speaking the word would be some sort of taboo; it would shatter some unbreakable natural law and state of mind that had continued, blissfully uncontested, for dozens of centuries.

There followed a horrible period of intense silence, broken almost thankfully by Zoe. “Mal... As impossible as it might seem, we could be looking at...” she struggled to find the right words to say. “Is it at all possible that we might be looking at some... experiment? An Alliance experiment?”

Wash shot up away from the cowering creature to face Zoe. “Really?! You really think the Alliance could pull something like this?!. Not to mention the planet we’ve crashed on doesn’t show up on any databases... Do you really think the Alliance could hide a whole planet, too? Come on, Mal, this is ridiculous, right?” He turned to the captain. “This is ridiculous, right?”

Mal didn’t answer. Could the Alliance create something like this? Mutate a creature to the point where human qualities could develop? The thing had spoken in English, that was one point.

Okay, so maybe the Alliance had done experimentation of this nature before. The fugitive on his ship was proof enough of that fact. River Tam was either intuitive beyond previous human capability, or a genuine mind reader. Mal saw more evidence for the latter. But even with that fact in mind, was it even possible to create a thing such as this?

Mal looked down at the creature. The base anatomy resembled some sort of equine, but pretty much all similarities ended there. He looked into its face, and felt a pang of guilt within his gut. The thi- the... equine may not have been human, but the look of terror on any creature was universal. That was another thing. If this creature was some sort of mutant experiment, it didn’t show. There was no sense of... wrongness. No sign of deformity or unnaturalness. Science had come far, but not that far.

“...Mal?”

He turned to Zoe, who had broken his train of thought, and Wash. “It’s not an experiment. Haven’t a clue what it might be, but Alliance it most likely ain’t.”

Zoe looked over at the pink mound huddled against the furthest wall, still edging towards the exit as if hoping to leave without being spotted. “But... Mal, are you really saying that it’s an..." Zoe's voice caught on the last word. "...Alien?”

Wash followed Zoe’s gaze, also deep in thought. “Uncharted planet appears out of nowhere... Impossible, never-before-seen creatures that show intelligence?! What else could it reasonably be?”

Pinkie shot a hasty look over at Twilight. The purple pony was still hiding in the shadows outside the ship. She had been petrified ever since Pinkie had rushed in without a second thought; now she wasn’t sure what she’d do next without Twilight. The aliens had been talking about her, she understood that much. But from the minute she’d ended her hurried introduction, she had felt the mood grow cold and dark, and tense. Reason had finally kicked in, and the gravity of the situation had hit Pinkie like a brick. She had shuffled backwards, catching only snippets of the aliens’ hushed conversations. Something about an experiment?

Pinkie started signalling wildly at Twilight by waving her hooves in the air. Twilight snapped out of her fear-induced trance with a shake of her head, just as Pinkie heard heavy footfalls behind her. Turning her head, she gazed up at the tallest alien with the brown fur flaps that trailed behind it.

She froze in horror as the creature opened its mouth, as if ready to eat her, or to breathe fire at her.

“...Umm, hey there.” I don’t believe this... I’m talking to a pink, anthropomorphic HORSE.

Something seemed to click in the pink creature just then. The look of fear once present in her face was now absent.

The fact that this creature, no matter how intimidating it might have seemed beforehoof, was not only speaking in an understandable language, but was also greeting Pinkie blew her caught her completely off-guard. As if that wasn’t enough, the alien’s face was capable of expression similar to a regular pony.

A smile slowly crept its way across Pinkie Pie’s face. “Uh, hi!”

What was a smile of endearment to Pinkie Pie was, to Mal, near enough amongst the most unnerving thing he could remember seeing. And he had seen some unnerving things in his life.

Zoe and Wash watched silently from behind Mal, fascinated by the conversation that was taking place.

“Uh, what exactly are you,? ...If you don't mind my asking.”

Confusion swept briefly across the face of the pink creature, before being replaced by the beaming smile that had previously been present. “Huh? I’m a pony, silly!”

“...Of course...” Right at that moment, Mal felt all the pain of his recent wounds assault his mind at once. Waves of nausea surged against him, as the full scope of the situation finally revealed itself.

“-al... Mal!” The voice was muffled, and barely recognisable as Zoe’s above the constant ringing in his ears.

The stars in his vision faded, and Mal found himself staring into two large, blue, worried eyes. The cold metal grate was pulled away from his face as two pairs of arms drew him back up to his feet, the ringing fading from his ears.

“Mal, you okay?”

“Yeah, just had a rough time today.”

Wash moved his gaze briefly from the ‘pony’ to Mal as he piped in. “You had Simon check you out, right?”

Mal nodded. “Doc said I seemed fine.”

Zoe and Wash shared a look which did not go unnoticed by Mal. “I think you might need a second opinion, Captain.”

“Zoe, don't you think we’ve got more pressin’ issues right now?”

So much had happened in such a short amount of time; it was a struggle to keep a coherent train of thought. In all his years as a Captain, nothing like this had ever happened before. Not even close. One thing at a time.

Mal raised his head back up to the pink pony-creature, noting that the other one had stepped forwards enough that the ship’s light revealed its colour: Purple. Mal noticed a pattern begin to form here.

“Right. Pinky, you speak English. What’s your name, what planet are we on, and what the hell is going on?!

The pink one broke out into a blind grin as she (Mal figured it was female, or as close to it as these aliens got) spoke. “Well, myname’sPinkiePieexceptyoujustcalledme ’Pinky’ but Iguessthatwasbecauseofmyfurwhichactually is pink (inhale) becauseyou’re aliensand we’venevermetbeforesohowcouldyou (inhale) knowmynameunlessyoucan readminds-“ She gasped suddenly “Canyoureadmindsbecause thatwouldbe awesome butalsokinda scarybecausesomeponiesmighthave scary thoughts (She inhaled yet again, her breath not even ragged) thatcouldgivesomeponynightmares justlkethattimethat (gasp) Twilightgotthatnewbook (Mal wondered what proportion of her body was actually occupied by her lungs) andtried to hide it from me butIfounditandreaditanywayandit hadweirdwordsinitlike ’throbbing’ and ’marehood’ andnowIneversleepwithout a night-light! Soanywaycanyoureadminds?!” She ended her lengthy monologue by beaming up at Mal inquisitively. The Captain stared back dumbly.

“...What.”

It-... She opened her mouth to speak yet again, but Mal was saved by the purple alien-thing, who stepped, or rather trotted, forwards up the ramp to interrupt their friend. “Uh, hi there... excuse me...” This one was apparently female too, and seemed much less excitable than her pink friend. She still seemed fearful of the three, but that was probably understandable.

“Hi, uh, sorry about my friend... She’s kinda... weird.”

Mal nodded. So not all these alien-ponies were batcrap crazy. He found it disturbing that he was already drawing parallels between these creatures and humans. The fact that he was already engaging in perfectly normal conversation with these ponies did nothing to help.

“Not a problem. You mind answerin’ my ques-“

His eyes were drawn to the small purple horn that protruded from the head of the purple creature. Wash and Zoe had already been staring at it.

Oh great. Of course. This was definitely going to help.

The purple... (Mal groaned inwardly with all his mental power) Unicorn seemed to take no notice, and spoke anyway. “Well... this is Equestria. You’ve, umm, landed in a meadow just outside Ponyville.”

What. It was all Mal could do to refrain from screaming out that word for a third time. Instead he nodded with all the patience of a man who was not going crazy. Wash failed to suppress a snigger behind him. Zoe remained completely silent.

Miss Purple-Unicorn-Thing continued speaking. “I have a few questions too, if you don’t mind.” She seemed to have grown in confidence as more words were exchanged. “Hmm...” A moment was spent in silence as she contemplated which questions to ask first.

There was just so much to ask of them! Twilight turned her attention to the interior of the crashed ship. She gazed at the walkways above her, gawked at the large metal boxes around her, and gaped at the outward sloping walls. She could’ve continued staring for hours longer at the fascinating work of engineering, but for the expectant looks of the three aliens in front of her. She blushed slightly, returning her mind to the matter at hoof. “Oh, right! Uh... firstly, what are you? Or rather, what do you call yourselves? What are your names? Where do you come from? How did you get here? How did you make this ship? Did you cause that meteor shower earlier? Do you ha-“

“Whoa-whoa-whoa, hang on a second!” Wash interrupted her stream of questions, only to falter as all pairs of eyes in the room turned to him. “I-I mean, you haven't even told us your names yet.” It took a huge effort to keep the authoritative tone in his voice from faltering, but he managed it. At least he could look like he was in control of the situation somewhat.

The pink pony jumped up at this, her voice thankfully more coherent this time around. “Oh, I’m Pinkie Pie! Hi there!”

...

“And I’m Twilight Sparkle! Glad to meet you, I guess...”

Mal turned back to Zoe. They shared a look. Mal turned back to the two ponies. They smiled back, albeit nervously.

Both ponies then suddenly jumped in fright as laugher echoed loudly throughout the cargo bay. Wash had doubled over, and was close to falling to the floor completely as he struggled for breath.

Mal noticed the purple pony’s- ‘Twilight’- eyes narrow suspiciously as Wash failed to contain his outburst.

“What’s so funny?”

At least thirty seconds passed before Wash settled down enough to form an articulate sentence, and he was breathless even then.

“Oh... Uh, ha... nothing.”

This response, however, failed to placate the Unicorn’s mind in any way, as evidenced by the further narrowing of her eyes. “You... don't find my name funny, do you?” The temperature in the room seemed to drop several degrees. The silence became oppressive, as Twilight and Wash locked eyes, the latter swallowing as he rose up.

“What? Uh, no! It’s a perfectly... sensible name. Very mature... very... sparkly.” Wash nodded ardently to further put Twilight’s fears to rest.

The purple pony didn’t move. The tension in the room continued to rise as she stared down Wash. Mal looked between the alien and the pilot. The situation should’ve been funny to him, but the circumstances somehow only served to increase the severity of the situa-

“Oh, silly me! I didn’t even ask your names!” The pink pony jumped between Wash and Twilight, all pressure in the air dissipating entirely beneath her oblivious outburst. She smiled up at the three humans, awaiting an answer.

Wash was the closest, and the relief he felt showed clearly on his face. He half-smiled back down to Pinkie Pie. Though still slightly nervous, he answered easily enough. Too easily. Mal was still suspicious of the creatures; the whole impossibility of the situation had just been sent to the back of his mind for the meantime. Obviously Wash had warmed to these ‘ponies’ quicker than Mal, and most definitely more-so than Zoe.

“Name’s Washburne. Most people just call me Wash.”

Mal could almost hear Zoe’s jaw set in place. Subtle signs that could only be discerned from years with a person in a warzone made themselves shown to Mal, and he could tell that Zoe was even more wary of the ponies than he was.

“What about you?” ‘Pinkie Pie’ had moved to sit below Mal now, and was now smiling up at him. Her... mane bobbed up and down erratically with each small movement she made. That was another thing that had been bothering Mal. The ‘manes’ of the two ponies were as colourful and unrealistic as the creatures they belonged to; the pink pony looked to have a mess of cotton candy placed atop her head. Mal vaguely remembered the last time he had seen the stuff. It had been at a fête, celebrating the opening of an Alliance factory. It had been fairly fun, right up until the point the factory exploded.

The purple pony’s mane seemed even more unlikely: a darker purple shade of hair/fur/whatever these aliens’ manes were made of, with two lighter dyed stripes of lavender to purple, giving the appearance that the pony had styled her mane into... bangs?

Mal could only connect more dots between these two creatures and human society, which did nothing to ease his suspicions. Zoe’s Alliance experiment theory jumped uneasily to mind. It was easier to believe than the alternative...

“Huh?” The cotton-candy-maned pony was still looking up at Mal with that same smile. Seemed she wouldn’t let up without an answer.

“Just ‘Captain’ is fine, for now.”

Pinkie Pie inhaled yet again. Mal braced for the worst.

“Ohmygosh you’rea Captain?! Areyouthecaptainofthisship -oh- but you’d have to be because what other ships are there around here? Silly Pinkie!” she giggled, playfully slapping her hoof against her forehead. “Well, exceptforallthoseothermetoersthatfelldownbecausethosemightbeshipstoobutheyfellreallyfaraway! So, did you crash your ship here? Kinda a dangerous thing to do, isn’t it?” She asked nonchalantly. “Oh, but I didn’t ask your name, did I?”

Pinkie Pie bounded over to Zoe. That was another odd thing. The purple pony trotted, limbs and joints moving in the same way that a horse’s would, whereas this pony jumped and bounced everywhere she went. Mal had to admit, the image was funny, in a cute way... Hell, it was like they were designed to be cute! There was that word again: designed.

How could evolution possibly produce a race of creatures like these two ‘ponies’?

“So what about you, huh?”

Zoe looked down at Pinkie Pie, struggling to find a course of action. After a few seconds, however, she relented.

“Name’s Zoe.”

The bluntness of her reply was lost on Pinkie Pie, who instead continued to light up the room with her smile. It was left to Twilight Sparkle to speak up before the pink pony could further... greet Zoe.

“So... what now?”

Mal took only a second to formulate a plan in his head. He turned to Wash, stony faced. “Close the door, Wash.”

Instantly, the grinding of gears reverberated throughout the room for a second time, the two ponies reacting with fright at the monstrous noise. “Wh-what are you doing?!” Twilight rushed back to the ramp, but it was too late. A terrible bellow resounded through the chamber, sealing Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie in the hold of the alien ship. “Let us go!”

Mal knelt down to Twilight, keeping careful watch on Pinkie Pie from the corner of his eye. The pink pony was distractedly looking up at the boardwalks. Twilight, in contrast, was looking defiantly into Mal’s eyes. He couldn’t help but wonder at the size of the ponies’ eyes. Looking now at Twilight Sparkle’s, he saw just how unusually large, and bright, they were. Her irises matched her coat colour: just as vivid and purple.

Malcolm Reynolds looked Twilight Sparkle right back in the eyes, and spoke to her almost as bluntly as Zoe had done to Pinkie previously.

“Now, you listen here Miss Sparkle. Me and my friends here have been havin’ a pretty rough time in recent days. Understand that we ain’t keepin’ you as prisoners; we just can’t have you runnin’ about for reasons we can’t quite disclose yet. We three here are going to have a little chat, and you, in the meantime, are going to stay here... without touching anything!” This last statement was directed at Pinkie Pie, who radiated another smile, placing her hoof over where her heart might’ve been. Could’ve been her bladder, for all Mal knew about these creatures.

Twilight, however, was less cooperative. “But- ...But you can’t just keep us here!”

Mal bore down on Twilight, maybe a bit harsher than he should’ve been. “Now you listen here, missy: I’m the Captain of this here vessel, and you're on it. I give the orders around here. So check your mouth, find a seat, and get sat down.” Twilight flinched at the penultimate word, and the Captain felt a small pang of regret echo within him. The ponies might be aliens, or the result of some terrible experiment, but even he had to admit there was an... adorableness to them. “Look, give us a few minutes, we’ll have this all sorted out. This is kinda difficult for us, y’see?”

Twilight nodded wordlessly. Pinkie was watching Mal with interest, in particular the guns at his waist. Mal ignored her, and moved back to Wash and Zoe. He wordlessly moved past them to the door opposite, underneath the centre boardwalk, and they followed suit.

Wash and Zoe chanced a single glance back at the two ponies, before the door slid shut behind them, obscuring the two groups from view. Though Mal said nothing, he secretly hoped that he could resolve this issue as quickly as possible. The less complications, the better. Let these pony things go about their business, and let the human race war between itself. Mal and co. could continue smuggling, and Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie could go on to eat grass. Or crickets. Whatever the hell alien ponies ate.

So Twilight and Pinkie sat, alone, in this cold, alien holding cell, awaiting their fate at the hand of their strange captors.

Chapter 6: The Explosion

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The door shut behind them, leaving the two ponies just barely visible through the porthole. Instantly, Zoe and Wash turned on Mal.

“You mind telling us just what the hell just happened, sir?”

“Soon as I figure that one out, I’ll let you know.”

“Actually, I was referring to the two alien horses we just took prisoner. We make first contact with these things, and the first thing we do is take them hostage?”

Now it was Mal’s turn to round on Zoe. “You kiddin’? We were being chased by Reavers! We’re crashed on a planet with no means of escape... Hell, they probably see us as a free meal. They’ll come down to the planet, if they haven’t already, and they’ll kill those horse things on site if they’re lucky. Now as little as I might know or care for these things, I will not stand down while Reavers rip apart and violate a living being. Not again. I might be holding them prisoner, but it's for their good as much as ours. Or you rather I just let them go?”

“Why not just tell them about the Reavers?”

“Did you get a look at them? They didn’t seem too... knowledgeable on outside matters, if you get my meaning. We fall from the sky in a ball of fire, tailed by what amounts to an entire Reaver fleet. Any other planet, core or not, would've boarded their windows. And shot us down in the process. No, they have no idea. We tell ‘em about the Reavers, way I see it they’ll either panic, or get themselves killed trying to defend against a threat they can’t comprehend. No, we keep them here, maybe deal with those Reavers ourselves, or let them go on their merry way when we get the ship fixed up. Maybe lead 'em away, get back into Core Space. Besides, what are they gonna do? Call the local police and say they’re being held hostage? Trust me, the doors are locked an' sealed. They ain’t goin’ anywhere anytime soon.”

"Look, Mal, you hit your head fairly hard, are you sure you're thinking r-"

Wash turned from the porthole. “They’re gone.”

"What?!" Mal near enough shoved Wash to the floor as he scrambled to the window, searching for the two now absent creatures. “Son of a-“


The moment the door closed Pinkie turned to beam at Twilight. “Don’t those aliens seem friendly? I thought they seemed friendly! Oh-oh do you think they’ll be our frie-“ Twilight jammed a hoof in Pinkie’s mouth to silence her.

“Pinkie! Don't you see what’s happening?! The aliens have abducted us!

Pinkie frowned as Twilight removed her own hoof from the mouth of her friend. “Hmm... That doesn’t sound like something a friend would do... Are you sure Twilight?”

This last question was lost on Twilight Sparkle, who had begun to pace backwards and forwards within the confines, taking in every detail, mind awash with an odd mixture of fear and anticipation. “Pinkie, these aliens aren’t our friends,” she sighed. “But... wow. Just look at this place...”

Now that things had settled down, Twilight finally had a chance to take in the interior of the ship. She’d never admit it out loud, but even she shared a small fraction of Pinkie’s enthusiasm.

I mean, how often do you get a chance to see inside an alien ship?

"Uh, Twilight?"

"How does it fly? How did they build it? Are there more like it? I wonder how-"

"Twilight!" Moaned Pinkie, exasperated.

"Oh, right, sorry," blushed Twilight, the rosy hue quickly fading as her mind returned to the issue at hoof. "It's just... If only we could see more of it... Too bad we're trapped here," she grimaced.

Pinkie could only gaze at Twilight as if she were a madmare. "What're you talking about Twilight? Why not just teleport outta here?"

...

Twilight brought a hoof to her face, the physical blow following Twilight's own mental kick. "Of course," sighed the unicorn, "just, stand here please."

Pinkie moved to stand beside Twilight, both of them now standing in the centre of their prison-room. To their sides stood groups of large, metal boxes pushed against the walls. Each one was draped in a strange, shiny black netting. Behind them, the large, rusted plate-metal door cut off all access to the outside world. Just minutes ago Twilight had been looking forward to a peaceful night of stargazing. In the space of time it would've taken her to eat one of her packed sandwiches, she had witness a meteor shower, survived an almost direct meteor strike, discovered an alien spaceship, *met aliens*, and then been abducted by said aliens.

Twilight couldn't think straight. Any train of thought she attempted to begin was washed away by a surge of new questions. The sheer rush of information to her mind was enough to make her stagger and gape.

As waves of what could only be described as nausea passed over her body, her eyes settled on what lay before her. Two doors. One on the mesh boardwalks above, and another at ground level. The one the aliens had left through. The head of the alien with the short blonde... mane (Did these aliens still have manes? They had something mane-y on their heads...) was just barely visible. Its... His head was turned away from the small window, for now.

How long would it take them to notice? The spaceship was huge- colossal. The two ponies were prisoners, with no means of escape. Surely the aliens would retire to another section of the ship! Any one of the possible hundreds of strange, mysterious rooms, each housing a treasure trove of secrets! Books containing knowledge on matters that Twilight could only begin to imagine... Imagine how much she could learn here if she just quickly warped themselves into another room! Nopo- no alien would notice their absence- No. As strong as the allure was to her, Twilight was not willing to put her friends in danger merely to sate her own curiosity, no matter how slim the risks might be.

Twilight focused on her horn, edging closer to Pinkie as she did so. Two ponies was more of a struggle to teleport, but it was easily manageable, with little extra exertion required.

At least, it should have been.

Twilight tried to focus on the abundant magical currents that permeated the world of Equestria, only to absorb a pathetically small amount of power, all of which could only have seeped in from outside along with Twilight and Pinkie.

There's... no magic here? It seemed impossible, but the reality stared Twilight in the face regardless. Fine. It was an unprecedented setback, but one she could deal with. Casting a spell without drawing from magic that occurred naturally simply meant that Twilight would expend more of her own stamina. She'd get one shot at it, but it'd be enough to get her and Pinkie out of this situation. From there, a plan could be formed to deal with these aliens accordingly.

Twilight conjured up the energy needed, focusing on the dynamics of her teleportation spell. It's easy... Just take the magic, and use it to force the world apart... Create a tunnel through space, between and around the world we walk through... In from here, and out by the crater...

To a pony less learned than Twilight, that mantra might merely pass over their head in a haze of bewilderment. But to Twilight, it told her exactly how to shape and direct the magic. The unicorn begun the spell, creating a bubble that would, in her own words, "force the world apart." She closed her eyes as she concentrated... only for them to snap open again in confusion.

"No, that can't be right..."

"Huh? What can't be right?"

Twilight reached out again with her magic, made it an extension of her conscious being. What she felt was... wrong. This ship, the world inside this place wasn't the same as the world Twilight had been in minutes ago. In Equestria, magic saturated the fabric of the world. Currents of energy interwove themselves like threads ready to be loosed and manipulated by those who possessed the ability. In Equestria, space could be found between space: a pseudo-world outside the world. By looking past the world of Equestria, by moving beyond it, teleportation could be achieved as simply as moving a needle through fabric.

Here, though, the world was... Twilight paused. It was indescribable. When she "forced the world apart" she found only more world. A whole other fundamental concept added to this reality, that Twilight could just barely feel.

"Twilight?"

"Huh?!"

"Is everything all right?" Pinkie looked expectantly towards Twilight, oblivious to the eldritch nature of the ship.

"It's, uh, just a minor setback. Just give me a second, okay?"

"Okie-dokie!"

Twilight focused back to the issue at hand. This place was alien. As alien as it got. Twilight could see, and move, and feel everything just as she had outside the ship, but there was something, just beyond the range of her senses, that made this place so different. She sighed. Improvisation was the only way out here.

"Hold on tight, Pinkie!" The pink pony did as instructed, and hugged Twilight with all of her strength. Throwing caution to the wind, Twilight ignited her spell. She wasn't so much creating a tunnel as blasting a brand new crater in the fabric of reality, but Twilight simply couldn't care less. Too much had happened today, and Twilight was likely to faint the moment she and Pinkie emerged from the spell. An image of the meadows outside formed within the purple unicorn's mind, as the two ponies vanished in a small flash of white and purple light.


"I am sure it'll all be fine. They did seem to be carrying a frightening number of guns."

The statement was met with a sigh. "I know that. But what if something happens anyway? We've been living like this for so many months now. All it takes is one slip-up, and..."

"Inara." Shepard Book leant forwards, placing a hand on her knee. "They'll be fine."

Inara visibly relaxed, though the worry on her face remained. "I hope so. I just... I feel praying can only help so much in a situation as dire as this."

"The suspense is difficult to bear." He sighed. "The best thing we can do right now, though, is to bear it."

River, sitting in the corner away from the other two, interrupted Inara before the first syllable even escaped her lips. "Doesn't matter. They're here." Book and Inara immediately snapped to River. The girl had a smile on her face.

"We disturbed them from their rest, and they came to find us."

"Reavers."

"Oh God, Mal..." Inara and Book both scrambled to their feet, Book hastily picking up a walkie-talkie left on the table. Inara grabbed the gun. Both ran out towards the back of the ship, towards Simon and the sedated Jayne, towards Kaylee, and towards where Mal, Zoe and Wash were about to step right into the jaws of the Reavers.

The two bolted towards the door. Shepard Book raised the walkie-talkie, only to have it ripped out of his hand. A pinprick of bright white light emerged from nowhere between the doorway and the two running for it. The ball of light expanded instantly to a diameter of almost six feet, sending out with it a blast of energy and air that threw both Inara and Book straight onto their backs. The blast accompanied a burst of noise that reverberated in the room with bone-rattling intensity. Book's head swam, and nausea washed over his body. It was as if a flash grenade had been detonated right by his head.

His eyes were open, but the white flare burnt onto his retinas rended everything else as a swirl of black and white. The dull buzzing in his ears muffled every other sound, save for the ringing caused by the explosion. But only his senses had been so badly affected. He had been winded upon hitting the floor, but he had recovered from worse. And besides, if there was a threat, he was the only one able to assist Inara. He drew himself up into a sitting position, rapidly blinking his eyes in an attempt to clear the remnants of the flash from his vision. The shapes of the furniture in the room could be made out, as well as two other, new shapes. They were moving. Shepard Book back-peddled away, scrambling to his feet. The shock cleared his vision enough for him to clearly make out the two things in front of him. They weren't Reavers. What they appeared to be shocked him perhaps more than any Reaver could.

Chapter 7: The Problem

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Something was wrong. Twilight could tell that instantly. She had seen that this world was different, but she had underestimated by just how much it was different. Now she and Pinkie were paying the price. Both ponies clung to each other for their lives as they were flung through non-space. Twilight now didn't care about their destination; all her magic was focused on getting them out safely on the other side.

Then the stop came. Twilight was jolted forward, as if she had been in a rapidly moving cart that had been quickly dragged to a halt. A lump of panic caught in her throat briefly, before the two ponies, still clinging tightly to each other, were sent rolling and bouncing across a hard, painful floor. Metal, her mind rang out, before more sudden thoughts replaced it. Twilight thought she might be too tired to be able to feel any more pain or bruises. Rather, she was just too tired to be able to care anymore.

Twilight and Pinkie rolled to a bumpy halt, the unicorn flopping off from atop the earth pony.

"Owwie... Uh, Twilight?" Pinkie's voice was just above a whisper

Twilight just barely mustered up the will to speak. "Yeah?"

"I don't think we're out of the ship yet..."

"Huh?" From where she lay on her back, Twilight turned to look up from Pinkie. The ceiling differed in some details: it was closer, and smaller than it had been in the ponies' last prison, but the glow of the strange lights still reflected off of the strange metal plates and struts. "Oh no..."

"Twilight?"

"What now?" Twilight rolled onto her front, preparing to pick herself up back onto her hooves. She stopped dead as her own eyes locked with another pair. Not the large, bright blue eyes of Pinkie, but a pair of smaller brown eyes, much darker and older than any Twilight had seen before.

"Oh, no..."

"What the..." The voice was almost baritone, deeper than any of the first three aliens. Definitely male

"Ow..." This voice was female, and came from behind a corner Twilight could not see past.

"Inara!"

"I'm fine... What happened?"

"I'm not quite sure," the new alien turned back to Twilight Sparkle. From the way it... he was blinking, he looked to be dazed. Had her spell caused that? "Although, I think I know what caused it." The alien looked Twilight right in the eyes again. Despite the differences in their faces and bodies, it was easy for the unicorn to see that the alien regarded Twilight with only wariness and suspicion.

Considering that, it was fortunate that, as tired and disorientated and confused as Twilight Sparkle was, enough of her mind was working to tell her that speaking out now was a bad idea, if the reactions of the first three aliens was anything to go by. She said nothing, and continued to stare mutely back at the darker alien. With any luck, Pinkie would be smart enough to remain silen-

"Hi there!"

Horseapples.

The alien stared back blankly. Maybe it was struggling to believe that Pinkie had just spoken to it. From where Twilight couldn't see, another alien sat up. This one was most likely the owner of the female voice... 'Inara,' the other one had called her? Despite all the differences, even the half-conscious Twilight could easily conclude that this female was set slightly apart from the others. Instead of the dull, dusty furs and clothes the other aliens wore, this one had on an extravagant red dress, hemmed and decorated with shiny golden thread, almost like something Rarity would design. Her mane (Twilight was still unsure wherever or not to call it that) was a long and lustrous black, obviously well-cared for. Even by the radically different pony standards, the alien had a pretty face. On it was a look of shock and confusion even greater than that shown by the first alien.

"I'm Pinkie Pie! What're your names?"

Twilight brought a hoof to her forehead. This was getting ridiculous. Just as she prepared herself for a well-needed nap in another alien prison, the sound of heavy hoofsteps on metal pounded loudly from behind her. She turned just as three towering figures rush in through the doorway. The aliens from before. Each one was grasping at tube-like metal tools, all roughly shaped like an 'r'. Twilight did not know what they were, but she could guess that they were dangerous. Weapons meant to hurt. The tubes were hollow, and pointed right out the two ponies, as if something were designed to shoot out towards them. Definitely something dangerous.

The one with the short brown mane and long, trailing brown tail spoke first. "How did you get out?" His voice wasn't openly aggressive, but there was tension in it, for sure.

"Oh, Twilight just teleported us out! She meant to take us outside, but we ended up here instead because I think Twilight got mixed up! Then we met your friends (Pinkie gestured with a hoof towards the two aliens sitting on the floor, still stunned), then you appeared!"

"Teleported?"

"Mal, what's going on?"

"Honestly, Preacher? No idea. 'Course, they might have a clue." He shifted the small metal tube in his strange paw, so that Twilight was left looking straight into the dark pipe.

"Talk."

Twilight mustered up some previously unknown reserve of strength. She was going to need it, it seemed. Taking a shaky breath, she begun. "Right... Like we said earlier, my name is Twilight Sparkle. This here is Pinkie Pie." The pink pony waved to the aliens on all sides of her. "I'm a Unicorn-" The alien with the short blond mane snorted. Twilight ignored it; it wouldn't do to make a snide remark and further aggravate these aliens. "-And Pinkie's an Earth Pony-" The same alien let out a single bark of laughter, quickly stifled by a jab from the female alien beside him. Was it really that funny?

"This land is called Equestria, and you've landed in the middle of a large field, on the outskirts of the Everfree Forest." Twilight thought it best to leave out details about Ponyville for now. She still didn't know if these aliens could be trusted, and hoped that they wouldn't remember what she had said about it previously, when she had first met them.

"...Okay." The interrogating alien's arm relaxed, and the metal tube fell to face towards the floor. A good sign.

"Mal, what is happening? What are these things?" It was the well-dressed alien who spoke this time.

The attention of the addressed alien, Mal, shifted to her. "We went to fight off the Reavers, opened the cargo bay, and found these two instead. They're the ones knockin' on the ship. Don't know anything else you haven't heard, though."

"They... they're... aliens?"

Mal grimaced, along with the female alien (Zoe?) behind him. "So far as we know."

The 'preacher' alien was still looking on in shock. "How?"

Mal just shrugged at the older alien. He and the well-dressed alien both rose uncertainly to their feet. Now all five pairs of eyes were staring down on the two ponies.

"Uhh..." Twilight Sparkle found herself lost for words. All the excitement and enthusiasm she had felt for the discovery of the aliens had vanished. Now she just felt awkward. Funny how meeting aliens did that.

"What about you? Where do you come from?" chimed Pinkie. Twilight was, for once, thankful for the pink pony's inability to to feel awkward, or at all quiet.

The alien Twilight remembered as the Captain visibly hesitated before speaking. "We're humans. Our species, I mean. We're actually, uh, travellers, but we ran into some... trouble, and ended up crashin' down on this planet." The Captain went back on the offensive almost instantly. "Now, you're gonna explain to me jus' how you made it up past us, all the way here, through several locked doors."

Pinkie bounced up to the Captain before Twilight could even open her mouth. "Magic!"

"...S'cuse me?" He turned to Twilight, maybe hoping that she would have a more sensible answer.

Twilight nodded, shamefacedly. "I teleported us both outside. At least, I tried to." The unicorn hung her head. "I got... mixed up, and I ran out of magical energy, so now Pinkie and I are kinda stuck here. Unless... you let us go?"

Twilight Sparkle gazed up at Mal with innocent, questioning eyes. Mal stared back. Yes, they were cute and innocent and adorable, and no, Mal was most definitely not going to fall for it. Nuh-uh. He wasn't going to let them go yet. He'd let them leave the ship when... Well, he'd have to let them free eventually. Even if he had no idea when, or how. Or how to deal with the possibility of Reavers. Or how to get off this planet. Or if there were any more of these things, that might not be so peacefully inclined.

One thing at a time. The ponies had spoken of magic and teleportation. This was going in a direction Mal didn't entirely like. Zoe seemed to think the same. "You talked about 'teleporting' out of there? How?"

Twilight turned to face both Mal and Zoe. This was explaining magic. This was a question Twilight was more than happy to answer. "Well, I'm a unicorn, which means I can use magic. To teleport, it's just a simple matter of focusing enough magic to create a field of energy capable of creating a, uh, sort of tunnel. All you have to do is control the magic, and tell it where the tunnel goes..." She trailed off. The Captain and the darker skinned female alien - Zoe, Twilight struggled to recall - traded a glance.

Twilight had the horrible notion that she knew just what the two were considering, as impossible as it might've been. There had been next to no magic for Twilight to draw on within the ship. Was it possible... did these aliens...

"Zoe, upstairs. Wash, you stay with Inara and Book. Make sure our guests don't leave your sight, don mai?"

Wash nodded. Satisfied, Zoe and the Captain left silently through a doorway on the far side of the room. The silence continued as the two ponies and three humans all stood in the room. Inara and Book, still partially dumbstruck, traded glances with the Twilight and Pinkie, then at each other.

Wash cleared his throat. "So, how was your day?"


"So, this is really happenin'."

Zoe remained impassive. "Yes, Captain."

"They spoke about magic."

"Yes, Captain."

Mal looked up at Zoe from his seat in the pilot's chair. Zoe leaned on a console beside Mal. "What're the odds that this is all jus' me hallucinatin' after that hit on the head I took?"

Zoe just shrugged. "Couldn't say, Captain. It all seems fairly real to me."

"But magic, Zoe?!" Mal shot back. "Y'know where magic exists? In Old-Earth fairytales!"

"Mal, we've seen some pretty strange stuff in recent times..."

"We've seen creatures that tear men apart and take their flesh for their clothes. We've seen men come back from the dead with hearts stronger than what they where meant to have." Zoe almost flinched at the memory of her and Mal's fallen comrade and friend. "We've seen men look into the eyes of Reavers, and become them. Hell, we've seen a girl who had her brain taken apart by the Allience, and now seems able to read minds. All this stuff I can just about deal with. But this?" He swept his hand across the room in a wide gesture, before looking back up at his First-mate. "I don't know what to do, Zoe. Haven't a damn clue."

Zoe sighed slowly before speaking. "Have you been to see Kaylee yet? Things'll be simpler the sooner we get the ship fixed."

"...Yeah." Mal stood up. "Sure. We'll get the ship fixed, then ignore everything that's happened in the last half-hour, act like we never kicked a bunch'a aliens off our ship, and pray that the Reavers don't run us into the ground again."

Mal closed the cabin door behind him as he stormed out. The friction of rusted metal on metal was all that kept it from slamming.

"Gorramit..."


"...Again."

"Are you sure? It didn't seem to work the first six times."

"Yeah, just- ow! Not that hard!"

"Wash, I'm fairly certain they are real. Can I stop now?"

"Uh, we're standing right here..."

Three pairs of eyes turned to Twilight Sparkle. Wash cradled his forearm, red from where Inara had been coerced into pinching it repeatedly. Inara still wasn't sure how that had happened. Shepard Book observed silently from behind the kitchen's counter.

"Wash, why don't you ask them for yourself?" Wash could tell that Inara's nerves were just beginning to fray. He was surprised that she had managed to keep it together for this long, as if what had just happened had been a relatively normal occurrence. Seeking to change the subject, he turned to Twilight.

"So... Twilight Sparkle. How long've you been living here?"

"Umm... My whole life."

"Ah."

...

"So, how long is that?"

"Oh, well I'm just t-"

"The world split open, and horrible beasts poured out from the cracks. Star Wormwood fell, and the people were made bitter before they died." River was stood in the doorway leading down towards the cargo bay, her gaze somehow capturing the entire room, while she looked at no-one in particular.

Shepard Book turned sharply towards River. "What did you just say?"

River smiled at Pinkie Pie. "I like her mane. It looks soft."

The room was silent. River turned, and walked back out as if nothing had happened. Wash turned in his seat to Book. "How long was she standing there?"

Book didn't answer.


"Kaylee?!"

"Mal?"

"Gimme some good news."

Kaylee squirmed out from underneath the mass of wires and parts that spanned almost the whole length of the engine, taking up most of the room. "Hey, Mal, sorry I snapped at you earlier. I just..." She gave a small smile as she stood up. "I didn't expect you to go crashin' the ship so much when I took this job."

"That's why we got you Kaylee: only mechanic in the 'verse who puts up with my planet-crashin' habits. So, what've we got?"

Kaylee's smile faded as quickly as it had come. "Well, the main conductor coil's been jarred loose. It means we'll be runnin' on backup power, but I should be able t' set it back. Even then, though, Wash fried a couple'a fuses when we came down, so unless we replace those, it won't matter if we have the conductor or not. The fuel-line runnin’ to both thrusters got shot pretty bad, there’s some radiation leakin’ out from the-“

“Radiation?!”

“Yeah, but it’s no big deal.”

“I’d say it’s a pretty big deal!”

Kaylee gave a small smirk. “No, Mal... It’s being released by this generator down here...” she went to crouch down beside the generator, pointing to a component on the underside Mal couldn’t fully make out. “But it’s being absorbed by this outer plate here...” She shifted her hand slightly to point at a half-cylinder of metal, with transparent tubes running the length of it. “...So that it winds up in the decontamination unit through these tubes.” She gave a smile, pointing out the transparent tubes feeding away into some unseen part of the ship. “Just, y’know, don’t go sticking your finger in there if you want to keep it!"

“Right...” Mal begun, still wary of the hazard. “So, how long until you can get us back up?”

“...I can’t...”

“What?”

Kaylee sat down on a metal step, facing the mess of wires and pipes. “I can’t fix her, Captain."

Mal was dumbstruck. "But... You just said-"

"Those're jus' the smaller problems." Kaylee looked up to Mal. "Don't you get it? When we came down, Serenity lost a buncha vital parts, an' I can't get her flyin' again without those parts! I can't help her..."

Mal was silent for a few seconds before speaking. "Do what you can for her. We'll see what we can do later."

Kaylee threw her arms up despondently. "Nothin' I can do unless we buy new parts, or find the ones that fell off. If we found the old stuff, Ah reckon Ah could rig something together, jus' until we get to the next planet." She sighed. "At this point, it'd take a miracle to get her flyin' again."

"Do what you can for her." With that, Mal turned and left. He wasn't ready to deal with telling her about the... the aliens on board. Not yet. He still wasn't sure what to make of the situation. At the moment, he, Zoe, Wash, Book, Inara, and maybe River knew. That left Kaylee, Simon and Jayne.

"Infirmary it is..."


"Whole... A whole buncha 'em. Y'saw 'em too, right?"

Simon looked over at Jayne mumbling on the operating chair. The memory of the Reavers must still have been fresh in his mind. Simon did his best to put on a comforting tone, while examining a small hypodermic needle. "It's okay, you're safe, they can't get you here."

Jayne continued his delirious ramblings, apparently oblivious to Simon's presence. "...Were so many of 'em..."

"Jayne, they're gone now, okay?"

"...But... I knew, just how t' deal with 'em. Jus' took 'em to all t' bed at once..."

Simon just barely managed to catch the needle that had slipped upon hearing what Jayne had said.

"What?!"

"Jus' ripped off their clothes, the whole lotta 'em, an' started off right in their-"

"-Time for sleep now, Jayne... Please." Simon quickly but precisely injected the contents of the needle into Jayne's neck. Jayne's half-lucid throes quickly ceased as the sedative rapidly came into effect, and his words slurred to a halt, the last, disturbing sentence just managing to slip out before he fell to sleep.

"...Finest damn... Whorehouse... Ah ever... in'ercoursed in..."

Simon was left staring, doing his hardest to keep his imagination from forming images from Jayne's words.

...

"Simon."

"Mal?"

The Captain's head appeared from behind the door, the rest of him following as he stepped into the infirmary. "How's he holdin' up?" Mal nodded to the sleeping form of Jayne.

"'I've sedated him. That bite wound... It's become infected. I've already given him a dose of antibiotics, but it'll take a few days until its okay for him to walk. What's going on back there?"

"It's nothin'. Just an argument."

"Did this argument happen to involve explosives of some sort?"

Oh, the explosion. When Twilight had appeared in front of Book and Inara, there had been a noise, like a grenade, that had drawn Mal, Zoe, and Wash's attention in the first place. But how to explain it to Simon?

"No, that was caused by the two magical alien talking ponies teleporting inside the ship."

...

"Simon, just stay here and look after Jayne, 'kay?"

Simon let out a sigh. "Right..."


"But... why would anypony do that?!"

Wash looked up at Twilight from across the table. "Honestly, none of us here really know for sure. That's what Simon's been trying to find out. Just a while back, he snuck her into a hospital on the planet Ariel, so that-"

"Wait, 'planet Ariel'... You mean, like another world?!" Twilight's eyes widened with excitement.

"Well, yeah. There's hundreds of planets up there," Wash pointed vaguely to the ceiling of the ship's dining room. "Each with at least thousands of humans living there. Some even have billions of people on one planet.

Twilight's mind reeled, the story of River temporarily forgotten. Billions of people - Twilight assumed that was a plural for humans - all living in one world?! She would've thought it physically impossible. Then again, she would've thought of aliens as impossible, too.

"So... you've been to all these worlds?" she asked in awe.

Wash shrugged. "Well, we've been to a fair few. I mean, most of 'em are pretty much similar, but they all have their own differences, things that set them apart. Y'know, customs and traditions, and the like." He leant in closer to Twilight, a sly look on his face. "Actually there was one place I once visited for a while. D'you wanna know what they did there for a hobby?"

"What?"

Wash took a breath, preparing to drop the sentence that would leave Twilight speechless... and was interrupted as Mal walked into the room.

"Wash?"

"Ah, what, huh? Yes, Captain?" Wash fumbled, backing into his chair as Zoe turned to suppress a smile.

"What're you doin'?"

"Oh, I was just telling Twilight about the, uhh... Y'know, the thing, with the juggling."

"...Right. Zoe, about earlier-"

Zoe cut Mal off with a shake of her head. "Doesn't matter now, sir. What did Kaylee say?"

That was that out of the way, then. Mal had apologised, and Zoe had accepted it, both of them communicating in a manner only they could understand, leaving Wash, Book, Inara, and the ponies exchanging confused glances with each other. The glances quickly stopped, however, as all eyes turned to Mal.

"Kaylee can't fix the ship. Not without parts. Jayne's leg is infected, and he'll be out for a few days. We..." Mal looked to the two ponies. The purple one, 'Twilight Sparkle', was looking expectantly at Mal, absorbing every word he said. The pink one, 'Pinkie Pie', was rummaging through the food cupboards. Mal looked back to Zoe, signalling to her with a nod of his head. Zoe complied, and followed Mal to just within the hallway beyond the crowded dining room.

"Zoe."

"Yes, Captain."

"The ship's missin' parts, and we can't go flyin' without them. I reckon some of the stuff will've dropped nearby, so if we can find those parts, we might have a chance at gettin' back in the air."

"You're suggesting we go out there."

"Yeah."

Zoe was silent.

"We need their help." Mal continued before Zoe had the opportunity to cut him off. "I know, this is surreal, and nobody has any idea what's going on. It's just like you said, the sooner we sort this out, the better."

"Actually, I'm fairly sure I said something to the effect of: the sooner we get off this rock, the better."

Mal nodded. "The two aren't mutually exclusive. But we might need to ask for help from those... ponies, back there."

Zoe remained stoic, yet the undertone of disbelief in her voice gave away what she was really thinking. "Mal, think about what you just said for a second."

"I know, but, as stupid as this may sound, they... know the land. We'll get this done quicker if we get them to help. Besides, they seem friendly enough. Just... treat 'em like people."

"'Treat 'em like people,' sir?"

Mal shrugged. "Y'know, just... really short people."

"...Right."

Mal turned back to the doorway, but stopped himself as another idea came to surface. "Zoe, can you call up Kaylee and Simon? River, too, if y' see her."

"Yessir." Zoe made off towards the infirmary; Mal stepped back into the dining room, and over to Shepard Book. He leant against the counter, facing away from the rest of the room - and the ponies - as he spoke.

"You seem to be taking all this awfully well, preacher."

"How do you mean?" Book only glanced up briefly from the tattered book laying open on the counter.

"Figured aliens didn't sit too snugly where the Bible was concerned."

Book looked up fully this time, a slight smile of bemusement on his face. "I was not aware that these particular aliens 'sat snugly' where our current understanding of science was concerned, at all."

"Touché."

"Although..." The Shepard drew a breath, deciding how best to voice his next thought. "I must admit, I am still a little... disturbed, not to mention shaken up."

"Oh?"

"They just look so... human. Just look at their faces!"

Mal did. Twilight and Pinkie were both listening to Wash, most likely giving the life story of every crew member on board. They really did seem human. Or, close to it. Sure, their eyes were much larger, but that only made them seem more... expressive. Their muzzles didn't come forward so much as a normal horse's, so they almost seemed like noses.

"These creatures are not the result of evolution alone, I believe."

"Thought the Bible wasn't too keen on evolution."

Book let out an uncharacteristic scoff. "Get with the times, Mal. Have you never heard of alternate interpretations?"

Mal blinked. He couldn't tell if Book was being sarcastic, screwing with him, or both. Probably both. He turned his attention back onto the two ponies listening to, and in the case of Pinkie Pie, interrupting, Wash's tales. Mal focused in particular on the eyes. The Shepard was right. No creature could have eyes like that. It just seemed so... impossible. And yet, here sat two beings who had completely gone against that notion.

Mal found himself looking into- examining, Twilight's eyes. Purple. Mal fought the urge to refer to them as 'violet'. Also rounder and larger than any other animal, human or not, that Mal could recall. He could actually see her irises, and the pupils within them, contract and dilate as Wash highlighted certain points of his stories. Both ponies' eyes, despite their size, shone with intelligence, exactly like the gaze of a human.

The two ponies almost seemed...

"Cartoony."

"I'm sorry?"

Mal looked back at Book. "Y'know, cartoons. Animated shows on the Cortex?"

"I've... caught a few glances of some, I guess, but-"

"Look at'em. Just, focus really closely."

Book did as Mal did, and diverted his whole attention to the ponies.

"Don't they seem jus' a bit off t' you? Like... all the detail you'd expect isn't all there."

"I suppose... I guess you could say they don't sit too snugly."

Mal let out a small bark of laughter. "Sit snugly into what?"

Book didn't answer. Mal was just trying to find an answer to his own question, as Zoe stepped back into the room, Simon, Kaylee, and River following.

"Sir, I told 'em we had some 'guests' on boar-"

"Son-of-a bitch!" Simon half-leapt, half-stumbled backwards.

Kaylee's reaction was quite the opposite. With a sharp intake of breath, she rushed forward to meet the equally exuberant pink pony halfway, almost squealing as she did so.

Pinkie Pie extended a han- hoof to Kaylee, which she took happily. "Hi I'm Pinkie Pie pleased to meet you what's your name what's your favourite colour oh oh when's your birthday because mine's only three hundred and forty six days away which is nineteen less than when it was my birthday last time and..."

"Zoe, you never said they were so... adorable!" Kaylee looked back at Zoe from where she was kneeling with Pinkie Pie, huge grins plastered across both their faces.

Mal turned to Zoe. "Jus' how much did you say, Zoe?" he hadn't expected Kaylee to act so... openly, with something so new and strange. That's Kaylee for you.

"Just said that we met some 'odd locals' who seemed harmless enough."

Mal thought back to the explosion caused by Twilight Sparkle. Apparently, she had gotten mixed up with her 'teleporting'. Didn't make it any less harmless. If the sound alone was anything to go by, it was sheer luck that Book and Inara had only been rattled by the explosion, if the sound of it was anything to go by.

"Right." Mal straightened. "I guess it's time t' reintroduce ourselves." He smiled at the room, the plan forming in his head finally restoring some order to his mind.

Simon could only stand there, mouth agape, staring as Kaylee shook hands- hooves- limbs, with a pink talking anthropomorphic horse.

Chapter 8: The Long Night

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"Twilight Sparkle, my name is Malcolm Reynolds. I'm the Captain of this Firefly class ship, Serenity. This here's my first mate, Zoe." Zoe nodded, only slightly uneasily. "Her husband, and pilot of this ship, Wash." Wash did as Zoe, only with more smiling. "You've already met Book, and Inara." Twilight turned to each in turn, smiling bashfully. Appearing in front of a person by exploding in their face wasn't always the best way to make a good first impression. "Over there is our doctor, Simon Tam, and over there is his delightful sister, River Tam."

River looked over to Pinkie. "Like I said: soft."

"She... has issues." Mal's voice trailed off, but returned as he glanced over to the next person to be introduced. "And this here is our mechanic, Kaylee. You've, uh, met, I guess."

Twilight glanced over at Kaylee and Pinkie. The pink pony was still holding hooves/hands with the kneeling human, animatedly asking questions aimed at the mechanic.

"...What does that do?!"

"Well, that's what supplies the coolant to the secondary reactor system," Kaylee said with a smile. Of course she'd be comfortable talking about the ship, even to an alien-horse-thing.

"Uh-huh. What's a coolant?! And what's a secondary reacty-sytem-thingy?!"

"Well, a coolant is something used to stop the parts of the ship from getting too hot, and the secondary reactor system..."

"...Uh huh... Uh huh..."

Twilight had no way of knowing wherever it not Pinkie actually was listening to what Kaylee what saying, or if she was just happy to make a new friend. Although, Twilight found herself again wondering how exactly this ship worked. With the initial fear of the aliens dissipating, to be replaced by careful curiosity, the basic urge to understand more about these 'humans' came back in full.

Of course, could she have listened to the human mechanic's explanations of the ship, she would have. But just as she found herself tuning into the almost-one-sided conversation between Kaylee and Pinkie, Malcolm started up again.

"'Course, there's Jayne as well. He's sleeping in the infirmary, after our run in with..." Mal hesitated.

Twilight's ears perked up at the pause in his speech.

Mal sighed. He knew that he'd have to navigate these waters at some point, he was just hesitant of knowing the two aliens reactions. Nevertheless, his plan had been to see how far cooperation could get him. Might as well bite the bullet. "See, our comin' here was sorta an accident."

Twilight thought back to the massive crater that the ship, The Serenity, currently sat in. "You... don't say..."

"Yeah, we came down pretty hard, lost some parts, too. We'd all 'ppreciate it if you'd be willin' to help us search for 'em, then we'd be out of your hair. Or manes. It's just..."

"You had a 'run in' with something?"

Mal nodded, the mood in the room darkening considerably. "What do you know about Reavers?"

"Uh, 'Reavers'? Can't say I've heard of anything like that."

That knowledge somehow didn't surprise Mal. But how to inform these most likely innocent and childlike creatures that a whole bunch of flesh eating monsters was most likely on the hunt for their blood?

"They're... Bad."

"Just 'bad'?" Twilight gave a small smile. "We might look small, but we've dealt with some 'bad' stuff in the past."

Mal shook his head. "Doubt it. These Reavers... They're monsters. They'll paralyse or poison you from a distance, and eat you alive, if you're lucky. They are strong, fast, entirely unpredictable, and will catch you in seconds if you ain't ready for the worst. Then you'll wish that you'd died fighting 'em."

Twilight stared, more than a little taken aback, as Mal continued with his speech. "Now, we'll most likely be forced into fightin' off these things, and for that, we need your cooperation. We tell you to run an' hide, you do so without questionin'. You do as I say, else I might end up shootin' you myself, y'hear?"

"S-shooting?!"

"'Course, you do as I say, we can be all friendly-like, an' we can be off without a problem."

Twilight nodded uneasily, despite herself. She was slightly shaken up at the description of the Reavers, and the threat Malcolm had mentioned, but the humans didn't seem too bad... So far. Indeed, she wondered if these creatures weren't just pulling some form of trick.

But, that wouldn't happen! Twilight (and maybe Pinkie) would help them get the parts they'd lost, and the humans would leave the ponies in peace. Yep. They'd just leave, with all their knowledge, and that'd be that. The Reavers would be chased away like just another pesky monster. The ship, and everything Twilight could possibly learn from it, all sailing off into space, never to be seen from again...

"Sure, I'll help!" said Twilight, a strained smile across her face.

Mal nodded. "Right. I noticed it's night outside, so we'll wait until day to head on out. You'll stay on board here 'til then. For your safety, 'course." he hastily added.

"You mean we're going back in that last room you locked us in last time?" Twilight asked uncertainly. Sure, the humans hadn't eaten them or anything like that, but the thought of spending the rest of the night in a cold, hard room like that wasn't exactly comforting, either.

The Captain paused for a second, weighing his options, before turning to face the rest of the crew. "Wash, we ain't using that spare cabin for anythin', are we?"

The rest of the humans, save for Kaylee, who had been running a private conversation with Pinkie, had been silent during the whole exchange, most likely from shock or confusion. Or both. Definitely both. Wash glanced up sharply, surprised that he had become the centre of the conversation. "Huh? I, yeah. I mean, yeah, there should be a bunk down there, I think."

"Good" Mal turned back to the ponies, raising his voice enough to interrupt Kaylee's conversation with the pink one. "You two, follow me."

With that, Mal turned towards the far doorway, signalling for the two ponies to exit. Twilight passed Mal through the exit, as Pinkie said a cheery farewell to Kaylee, bouncing away after Twilight. Mal followed behind, instructing the two equines on which path to take. The whole time, his hand never moved from the gun by his side. He'd been deceived before.


"Well, here y' go. It ain't much, but I imagine these'll be a might comfier than sleepin' on a pile of hay."

"Right..." Twilight replied uncertainly. Was that a joke of some sort? Or did he really think ponies slept on piles of hay? Twilight ignored it for now, instead focusing on the two hammocks strung up to the sides of the small metal room. If it weren't for the small tables Twilight might've used as stepping stones, it would've been impossible to reach the hammocks at all. As it was, Twilight hoped that they wouldn't be as awkward to sleep in as the trip down the ladder into this room had been.

"Right then. You two stay in here until mornin', then you can help us out." Mal went to leave via the ladder, before turning back to Twilight. "Say, uhh, when is mornin'?"

Twilight thought for a second. She realised that since she and Pinkie had entered Serenity, not even two hours had passed. Yet it felt to Twilight, or rather her body, that she had been awake for a full three days, so exhausted was she.

"Well, the Sun rises in... six hours, I think."

"Right." And with that, Mal left, climbing up the metal ladder, and sliding the thick hatch closed behind him. The latch clicked locked behind him, but Twilight couldn't really see herself manipulating the fiddly latch set into the high up door, anyway. Her hooves and mouth simply didn't provide enough dexterity, and her magic... What had happened to her magic, anyway? All her life, no matter where she had travelled, the world around her had been saturated with magic for her to draw on. That was just how the world was. It was as fundamental and constant as the air and land itself. But the moment the humans had crashed down on her planet, she had been unable to draw on any of it for her spells.

But that wasn't true, either. When the *Serenity* had crashed, Twilight had brought up a shield to protect herself and Pinkie, right? Since then, she had recovered from the shield spell enough to cast a draining teleportation spell. So, it was when she had met the aliens. Had they somehow stopped her from drawing magical power? Somehow, Twilight doubted it. The humans had wanted her and Pinkie confined in that other room, and they probably would've been aware of Twilight's ability to teleport. So what was causing it?

Even now, Twilight felt... Empty. Drained. Maybe even a bit hollow. She had used the magic within her own body as a substitute for the magic she was unable to absorb, and it had left her exhausted and frail. She hoped that even a short rest would be able to refresh her, and clear the fog from her mind. But for now, casting magic was out of the question.

"They seem nice, don't they, Twilight?"

"Huh?"

"They have weird names, though. I mean, 'Malcolm', 'Zoe', 'Simon', 'Inara', 'Kaylee'... Those aren't even things! Oh, but Kaylee seems really nice, though! She told me all about the ship! Did you know that the ship uses Elements to fly?"

Twilight's ears perked up at that. "It does?"

Pinkie nodded exuberantly. "Uh-huh! Except they don't have Elements like Magic or Loyalty or Laughter or Generosity or Kindness or Honesty!"

"Really...?" As interesting as this was to Twilight, Pinkie's voice was beginning to grate against Twilight's nerves, and she could feel a headache coming on.

"Yeah! Kaylee said that they use the Element of 'Hydrogen' to power the ship! Except the Hydrogen gives off ray... Ray-dee-ay-shee-on, so other Elements called 'Tongue-stem' and 'Helium' are used to contain it! Kaylee said it's not the same used to blow up balloons, though, which is a shame, because this place could reeeally do with some balloons! Don't you think so, Twilight?"

Well, Pinkie was right about that, at least. The room was less of a room, than it was a four-by-four-by-four metre box, with sloped edges on the ceiling to provide the illusion of space. There was a single metal table, and a small metal box, just like the ones Twilight had seen in the first room they had been trapped in.

"Yeah. Hey, Pinkie, I think it's best we got some sleep, okay?"

"Okie-dokie!" Pinkie turned to her hammock, coiled herself like a spring, and launched herself straight into the comfy hammock... to fall right back out of it, landing painfully on the hard metal floor.

"Are you okay Pinkie?!" asked Twilight, exhaustion replaced momentarily with concern. But Pinkie bounced right back up again, as if nothing had happened.

"All good!" Pinkie attempted another jump before Twilight could protest, and landed in the hammock again. It swung wildly, but Pinkie remained in, waving her hooves as she swerved dangerously backwards and forwards. "Whee! You should try this, Twilight!"

Twilight smiled at Pinkie's ability to remain upbeat, but shook her head. "Thanks, Pinkie, but I think I'll just sleep." She climbed up onto the table, and used it as a stepping stone to clamber into the hammock. It was awkward getting in, but she was comfortable enough in it, if she curled up. Pulling up a blanket sheet with her mouth, she prepared for a long and restless night of sleep.

"'Night, Pinkie," whispered Twilight.

"Goodnight,Twilight."

Twilight wondered if she'd be able to sleep with the light still on overhead, when-

"Eek!" The lights had just gone out! Had they done that by themselves, or had the humans...

"Hey, Twilight?" Pinkie's voice hissed through the sudden, and all too claustrophobic, darkness.

"Yeah, Pinkie?" came Twilight's hushed reply.

"I found the light switch."

Twilight sighed. Of course.


Mal made a quick stop at the cockpit of the ship, securing the hatch to the room the two ponies were held in. The console reported that they were still in the same room he had left them in. Something told him they wouldn't try another botched escape attempt again, though. Still, no chances taken.

That done, he made his way back down into the living area of the ship, where the rest of the crew, save for Jayne, were still present, talking uneasily between themselves. Upon Mal's entrance, all eyes turned to him, silence rapidly returning to the room.

"They're secure. Wash, do what you can to secure the ship from the outside. Don't want any more surprises."

Wash stood, and left the room from where Mal had just entered.

"Now then, to business. Firstly, I bet most'a you are wonderin' about our... guests."

Simon stood up. "You think?! I mean, what the hell are they?"

Mal shrugged. "Aliens? Robots? Damn good costumes? You tell me."

"B-but... They can't be real! I mean, come on!" Simon scoffed. "Aliens? Just, all of a sudden, happening to us, of all people, for no apparent reason?!"

"What's so unlikely 'bout it happenin' to us?"

"I just... It's impossible! Did you get a look at them?! How can something like that even exist? It looked cartoonish, for crying out loud!"

Zoe chose this time to interject. "Not to object, Simon, but we live on a spaceship, and your sister's psychic."

"But that- that's not the same! Those 'pony' things were impossible!"

Mal remained perfectly composed in the face of Simon's outburst, and spoke evenly and surely, despite the doubt he felt himself. "That's why, tomorrow, I want you to examine them. Just, perform some tests, see what you can learn."

Simon's mouth hung agape. "I... What?! That's not even... Dammit, Mal, I'm a doctor, not a vet! Nor am I an astrobiologist, or a xenobiologist! Do you even know what you're asking?"

"Yeah I know. I'm askin' you to stick 'em with a needle, get some blood, or whatever they have, and take a look at it. I'm not askin' for you to cut 'em up and hang 'em on display, doc."

"But I-"

"Understood?"

Simon hesitated, before conceding defeat. "I understand."

"Good." Mal went to address the whole room. "Now, no doubt, you noticed that our guests... aren't exactly normal. Probably some of you hopin' that you'll wake up, 'n' this all will be some crazy dream. That'd be nice, but the universe isn't known for being nice. So here's how it is: We have crash landed on an uncharted planet, quite possibly not entirely normal. I have no doubt that the Reavers have followed us here, and that they'll be hunting us. We'll at some point have to fight 'em off. Serenity is broken, and the parts are scattered somewhere around where we landed, so if we get those, then Kaylee'll be able to fix 'er. Right, Kaylee?"

"Uhm..."

"You'll be able to fix her, right?"

"Well, I guess I'll be able to make her fly again, but there's so many things I haven't checked yet, I'm not sure if I'll be able to manage..."

"Well, we'll find a way. Tomorrow, we're takin' those two... ponies, to help us find our parts. They seem friendly, but I wouldn't for a second take your eyes off'a them."

Mal paused.

"Look, I know, this is impossible. But it's happened. Is happenin'. Against every odd an' possibility, this situation is as real as anything we've found ourselves in. It feels more than strange, I know. I feel that way too. But we accept this to be real, maybe we can find out jus' what the hell has happened here. I reckon y'all get some sleep. If we wake up still here, and if we ain't all dead, we'll all feel a bit better. Dismissed."

With that, everyone slowly stood up and left, all leaving for their respective rooms. All, save for Zoe.

"Still rather surreal, isn't it?"

"Damn right. Hey Zoe, you still sleep with a gun by your bed, don't you?"

"Never stopped, sir. As a matter of fact, I sleep with three by my bed."

"Good. Y'know, just in case."


Up in the mountains, the manticore growled again. Fires lit up the many craters that littered the small, high-altitude canyon. The manticore stalked past all of the small fires, past the pieces of strange, hard rubble that was strewn about in every direction. The pieces that weren't brown and burnt reflected the firelight into the manitcore's eyes as it prowled towards the thing that had fallen from the sky. The thing was big, maybe as big as an Ursa Major. Maybe bigger. The manticore saw it as a trespasser, and the fire and noises it gave off made it a threat.

The manticore stopped, a distance away, and roared. The smell of flesh filled its nostrils, and made it hungry. It pounced at the shape that had appeared to its left, behind a large rock. It was small, and easy prey. Larger than a pony, but that meant a bigger meal. It hit the ground, and stopped as it met the eyes of the prey.

The manticore hesitated, and the prey screamed. The scream was worse than anything the manticore had heard, and it made it scared. The prey wasn't prey; it was a predator. The manticore turned to run from the predator, but it felt the predator's sting. The manticore stumbled and fell, as it felt the predator's many claws tear its fur and skin away from its muscles. The manticore moaned in pain.


Many, many miles away, past the sea of creeping trees, in the middle of a field, at the bottom of a crater, inside the metal halls of a crashed ship, River Tam had nightmares.

Chapter 9: The Feather Flash

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"Mnh..." Twilight Sparkle woke up slowly. She blinked open her eyes, as consciousness obliterated the memory of the dream she had been having. And what a dream it had been! It was vivid enough that Twilight remembered... Well, that it was vivid. She idly tried to remember more, as she pulled up the covers of her bed. Sure, she had stuff to do today, but just five more minutes of rest wouldn't hurt. Besides, she was so tired from last night, anyway.

She reached out with her mind, hoping to happen upon the memories of her strange dream. There had been a loud crash she had heard in Ponyville, then she had gone to... The meadows? No, that wasn't right. She had been in Ponyville, and had been stargazing...

Except that wasn't right either. She struggled to focus, as Spike shuffled somewhere nearby Twilight's bed. Maybe she should get up soon. After I remember this dream, she told herself. Now then, she had been stargazing... In the meadows! Then there had been the loud crash. An explosion? Yes, there had been an explosion! And Pinkie had been there too! And when the explosion ended, there had been...

Twilight's eyes opened, realisation dawning on her. The ship... Serenity. Malcolm, Wash, River, Book... That hadn't been a dream!

Twilight shot up, the hammock rocking. Two large, bright blue eyes gazed at her just centimetres from her face.

"Gah!"

"Morning Twilight! Sleep well?" Pinkie asked, her beaming visage taking up the entirety of Twilight's view. So it hadn't been Spike shuffling nearby she had heard.

"Pinkie, don't scare me like that, okay?" Twilight laid a hoof on Pinkie's shoulder, gently pushing her away so that she sat a comfortable distance away, at the the foot of Twilight's bed. Okay, hammock.

Twilight blinked the sleep from her eyes as a sudden rush to her head brought back memories of exhaustion from the night before. She let out a sigh and flopped back down. Then sat up again, surprised.

She wasn't totally exhausted, as she had anticipated the previous night. She felt tired and groggy, but that was to be expected after a night of explosions and alien encounters. Twilight hummed to herself in thought, before focusing a small amount of will on her horn. Magical sparks of heat and light sputtered erratically from the tip, but the magic she tried to channel, both her own and that from around her, was pitifully weak.

Now Twilight really was frightened for her ability. Magic was something she had practised since she had been a filly. She had based her whole life around it to the point where it was a part of her, like wings to a pegasus. She was the Element of Magic, for crying out loud! Okay, just relax. Maybe it's only temporary. I'll ask the Captain alien about it, and see what he knows about it, then it'll be fixed. Maybe it's just the shock of this whole situation. Yeah, that must be it! A bit more rest, and I'll be good as new!

Twilight was doing all she could to offset the horrible empty feeling inside her, like that one time when she had only studied a week in advance for a magic exam. But this was worse, like a huge, hollow pit of dread inside her, and Twilight was doing all she could to fill it with hopeful possibilities and excuses.

"So, what now?" Pinkie's voice pulled Twilight out of her own musings, but the sense of constant horror remained.

"I suppose we wait until somepony, or something, comes to get us. I guess it's morning now, but..." Twilight looked around at the room. There were no windows, as far as she could tell; the only only light came from the luminescent strip set into the ceiling.

Sighing, Twilight eased herself out of the hammock, dropping to the floor as Pinkie deftly bounced out behind her.

"So, wha'd'ya wanna do until they come, Twilight?"

"I don't know, Pinkie..." Twilight answered dejectedly, head drooping. Trying to find something to take her mind off of everything, she squinted down at the floor, nudging a hoof against it. Metal. Was this whole ship made out of metal? It certainly seemed like it. Twilight wondered how something so big and heavy could possibly lift itself off of the ground, let alone fly all the way up where the stars were. It couldn't use magic to fly; that reality was all too clear to Twilight. So what? Steam? If it could power a train, then maybe enough of it could power a spaceship like this...

Except Pinkie had mentioned that the ship used Elements other than the Elements of Harmony to fly. 'Hydrogen' and 'Tongue-stem' and Helium. That last one was interesting. In Equestria, Helium was used to blow up balloons, and it wasn't anything so powerful as an Element. It was just... Helium. Maybe they used it to make the ship light enough to float?

Twilight dismissed that idea. It was just too ridiculous, and it didn't fit in with what Pinkie had said last night. If she had heard correctly, it was 'Hydrogen' that did the actual work.

Maybe these humans used their own, special sort of magic? Twilight sighed again. She had so many questions, all swarming around her head like moths. She wondered on wherever or not anypony in Ponyville had heard the spaceships crash during the night, or if any of her friends had discovered that she was missing.

All she could do was wait for answers, doing her best to keep her mind occupied while Pinkie started blabbering - about what, Twilight had no clue. She prayed to Celestia that she wouldn't be kept waiting too long: spending even a few minutes in a bare, locked room with Pinkie was paramount to torture.


It was by pure coincidence that Mal ascended the ladder from his room into the corridor at the same time as Zoe. He turned to meet her.

"Mornin' Zoe."

"Captain."

...

"Zoe, last night, did we..."

"Yeah."

Mal nodded. "So the crashin'-"

"Uh-huh."

"An' then us an' Wash..."

"Yes."

Mal nodded sagely. "Right, right... And then, the three of us... With those ponies."

"I'm 'fraid so."

"...Great. Is Wash up?"

"Just about, sir."

"Make sure everyone's up an' ready." Mal stepped past Zoe, and begun up towards the cockpit. "We got some horses to saddle up."

Mal heard Zoe groan from behind him.


"...exactly like that time where you and Rainbow Dash and Applejack and Rarity and Fluttershy and me were all swapped around and I got to use your magic and Rainbow Dash had to be Rarity and she really hated it because she said that Rarity was too girly and she couldn't fly and Fluttershy had to run Applejack's business and then you said that we needed to find a way to undo it so we went to Canterlot and Princess Celestia said she couldn't fix a spell as muddled up as that but she said we had to go to that other place that was called something I can't remember because it had way too many consonants and I had to cast the spell because I was you and you were me but then it worked and I was me and you were you and Rainbow Dash was Rainbow Dash and Applejack was Applejack and F-"

Pinkie was cut off as a mechanical hiss sounded from somewhere above the two ponies. The hatch set into the corner of the room opened, and the Captain's voice sounded from the small hole.

"You two, we're going now. Come on up."

"Oh, thank Celestia!" Twilight breathed a sigh of relief, as Pinkie ceased her grating rambles to bounce merrily over to the ladder that had slid down.

"What was that?"

"Oh, er, nothing..." Twilight waited at the base of the ladder, where she just barely caught a glimpse of Malcolm's face, before it was obstructed by Pinkie, as she attempted to climb to the corridor. The process was long and awkward, to say the least. Pinkie did her best to ascend, but her hooves slipped many times on the thin rungs of the ladder, and she spent at least a minute with her hind legs still planted firmly on the floor. Twilight swore she heard the human sigh from above. Finally, after many failed attempts and grunts of exertion, Pinkie somehow managed to secure herself on the bottom rung.

"Finally!" she beamed. "Now I just gotta... umm... Aww, nuts," she sighed. She was perched precariously at the bottom of the hatch, positioned in such a way that moving either of her hind legs would result in a bruised rump.

"Oh, for crying out loud... Here, gi'me your han- er, hoof."

Twilight assumed that Malcolm had moved so that he was now laying on his chest; most of his upper torso was visible as he reached down, offering his hand to Pinkie Pie. She offered up her hoof, wobbling only slightly, as Mal wrapped his fingers around her foreleg. He grunted with sudden exerted effort as Pinkie let go of the ladder without warning, squealing with delight as Mal groaned, slowly pulling her upwards. She vanished over the edge of hatch, and Twilight begun her ascent, as the Captain let out another groan. "You things are heavier than you look... What d'you eat?!"

"Well, sandwiches are yummy, and dandelions, and roses, and they're even better when they're all together! Oh but cakes are absolutely-positively the yummiest! But I couldn't say which one is the most yummiest, I mean, sponge cakes, chocolate cakes, cupcakes..."

"Yuh-huh, that's great. Here, Twilight, right?" Ignoring Pinkie as she continued to talk about the many different varieties of cakes, the Captain extended his hand down for Twilight to reach. The unicorn had watched Pinkie ascend, and she had devised a technique to more easily ascend, but, standing on the bottom rung of the ladder, she realised that she'd only be able to climb with the human's help. So much for her technique. She offered her hoof up with only a small amount of reluctance, realising at the worst possible moment that she hadn't washed since a whole twenty-four hours ago.

Mal reached out with the same reluctance, as if afraid that Twilight might suddenly jump up and bite him. Twilight almost found herself scoffing mentally. Were they really that afraid, still?

"Now, just don't let go of the ladder, 'kay?"

"Mm-hm." Twilight braced herself as Mal's fingers grasped at her foreleg. In the small amount of time that contact remained between the two, the pony got She felt herself being pulled up and, after a few seconds of scrambling at the rungs, clambered up into the steel corridor. Okay, so going down was definitely easier.

"Here, down this way." Mal was already up and at the entrance to the dining room, signalling for the two ponies to follow with the metal stick he had been holding at both of them last night.

Pinkie Pie bounced after him, Twilight following behind her, the doubts and "what ifs" in the purple unicorn's mind weighing down her every step.

"Well? C'm'on, we're wastin' daylight here."

"Yeah, right..."

"Now remember, no funny business. No sudden movements. No runnin' off. You help us, we'll see what happens about keepin' you here. It's for your safety, much as ours," he added as an afterthought. "Now, you comin'?"

Twilight almost reluctantly followed behind Pinkie Pie as they made their way through the halls of the ship, all of these corridors new to Twilight and Pinkie both. Eventually they came to a door which, when opened by Mal, revealed the room the two ponies had first been locked in.

"The cargo bay," Mal announced. "We'll make sure the rest of my crew are ready, then we'll step outside, and you two c'n help us navigate."

Twilight nodded wordlessly, stepping through after Mal, and down the loud metal steps to the floor below. Two other humans were already present. Zoe, and the one called Book. Twilight pondered briefly on his name. Was he a librarian like her, or a writer? He seemed to be one of the only crew members with a name resembling a pony's.

"Wash?"

"Give him a minute." Zoe secured the strange belts she had strapped across each of her shoulders. Both belts had small pockets cut into them, spanning the entire lengths of the strips, each one containing a small metal cylinder. Twilight guessed at their exact purpose as she saw the human snap open her weapon, and insert two of the small objects into the tube. So it was some sort of projectile, then, a bit like the bows royal guards would sometimes use. You'd set the arrow (or cylinder, in this case) into the weapon, aim it, and fire it out.

"What about you, Shepard? You plannin' on gettin' yourself eaten by Reavers, too?"

"You're a man short, Mal, and we're heading into unknown territory, with your aforementioned Reavers afoot." Book pulled back and released a metal shaft on the length of his weapon, eliciting two distinct clicks. "I think I'll fill in nicely."

"Fine. Zoe, y'all set?"

"Yes sir, just waiting on W-"

"Don't worry, I'm here, everything's fine!" The voice, Wash's voice, rang out from above, closely followed by the human in question as he rushed down the metal steps. The weapon he held was similar to Book's and Zoe's in its shape, and in that two hands were required to grasp it, but the similarities ended there, His had two longer handles protruding from the main length of the weapon, itself much shorter than either of Zoe's or Book's, but longer than Mal's.

"You all set, Wash?"

"Sure am. I fiddled a bit with the ship's radar, said there's nothing about nearby. But... There's something else."

"'Somethin' else'?"

Wash nodded grimly. "Just... Take a look."

"Right..."

The Captain strode over to a metal protrusion off to the right, shaped almost like a bookstand. Several 'beep'-ing noises resounded from it, and the two ponies jumped back as the hiss of steam shot through the room. Twilight gaped in awe at the sight of the huge plates of metal sliding and moving, letting in the fresh outside air inch by inch. The sound of Pinkie Pie letting out a low whistle could just be heard to her right.

Regardless of what Wash had said, all four humans raised their weapons at the opening, ready for whatever might be waiting on the outside. Twilight almost rolled her eyes, but the lingering memory of the Reaver discussion just about kept her from doing so. At that point a chilling thought entered her mind. Were her friends okay? Were they out looking for her and Pinkie? What if they galloped straight into the Reavers?! What would happen then?

All of a sudden, Twilight couldn't wait to get outside. It was all she could do to hold herself off from rushing ahead of the humans as the first rays of sunlight broke out against the walls and ceiling of the ship, illuminating each individual mote of dust as they unsettled.

The ramp fell away, and the two ponies four humans were left blinking in the new source of light as fresh air washed over Twilight.

Mal pulled back the hammers on his pistols, almost as much a force of habit as a caution. His eyes, and the eyes of the rest of the crew adjusted quickly, and they were left looking at their first glimpse of the strange, new, alien world they now found themselves on. For right before their eyes stretched... a massive mound of upturned soil.

Of course. They were in a crater, after all.

"Okay. Wash, Book, out with me. Zoe, hang back a spell and cover us, when we're clear you follow with the ponies." Follow with the ponies. Had he really just said that?

With an intake of cool morning air, Mal begun the ascent up the slope of dirt, Book and Wash following closely behind. A glimpse of blue flashed just at the top of his vision, and he briefly glanced up at a pure, cloudless, bright blue sky. Maybe it wasn't all bad. With a few short strides up the small cliff, the humans ascended the slope one by one, Mal being the first to look out at the new alien world.

"Wuh duh ma huh tah duh fong kwong duh wai shung..."

"In the name of the Lord..."

"Holy crap!"

Mal turned to look at Wash. "Thought this was that 'something else' you were plannin' to show us."

"Well, yeah... I mean, I knew there were trees, but the ship's scanner couldn't have picked up all this!"

"Is it terraformed?" Mal asked almost breathlessly.

"Couldn't say. We were lucky to even have the life-scanner working as it was."

Mal nodded, and allowed his eyes to feast on the colourful world that stretched out before the trio. Everything about the planet; the grass, the trees, the sky, even the silhouetted mountains in the distance, all looked perfect and vibrant enough to look like they had been drawn and coloured by hand.

"Zoe?"

"Be right there, Captain." Zoe began making her way up the slope, the two little ponies easily closing the distance to the surface.

Twilight cleared the rim of the dirt bowl, just behind Pinkie, and stole a glance back at the ship. What started out as a short look back turned into a wide-eyed gasp. Seen during the night-time, fires illuminating the underside of the massive hull, the ship had looked eerie, but impressive nonetheless. In the full light of the morning sun, even as battered as it seemed, the Serenity looked...

"Amazing..."

"Hm?" Mal turned to look back at Twilight.

"The spaceship! It's amazing!" Twilight gasped, staring wide-eyed at the metal colossus, a few smouldering fires providing the underside of the ship with a red glow, to contrast the bright glares that the sun cast upon the skyward-facing plates of metal.

Mal looked to Twilight, then to the silently smoking pile of metal that had got his crew into this whole mess. Sure, it had saved them from a horrible, fiery death by way of it being about as graceful in the air as a potted plant, but that was more or less what had gotten them into the whole 'missing the starboard thruster' problem in the first place. Oh, and Wash had contributed too.

"Yeah, it's something." Mal sighed. He wondered at how Serenity could be both so lucky and unlucky at the same time, before snapping back to the task at hand. "So, Twilight, as you can probably see, our ship's in a bad way. We got parts missin' that we'd sorely like back. If we're lucky (that'll be the day), then they'll have fallen somewhere 'round here. On top of that, there's most likely big scary Reavers out to turn our bones into stew. So, we'll do what we can to keep these Reavers from being a nuisance..." Twilight wondered at how Malcolm could so lightly refer to creatures described as murderers and cannibals so lightly as 'a nuisance'. "...And you'll help us keep an eye out for those pieces of metal. Deal?"

"Deal." Twilight nodded, instinctively offering her hoof up to Mal. The human frowned almost at the same time as Twilight realised what she had done, and that these aliens probably wouldn't even know what a hoofshake was. To her surprise (and Mal's own), the human knelt down to wrap his fingers around her hoof, shaking it firmly. Twilight was surprised to find that they weren't claw-like at all, just fleshy. Similarly, Mal was expecting to be holding a, well, a hoof. He didn't expect to find that holding one of these... thing's 'hoof' was almost like holding a much softer human's arm, except with a feathery layer of fur on top. The actual base of the hoof, however, was almost nothing like a real horse's; very slightly warm to the touch, it was at the same time soft and firm, becoming less soft as more force was applied to it. Mal was rather unnervingly reminded of the base of a paw, on a cat or dog, only much larger.

The hand/hoof/appendage-shake ended. "Okay then."

"Well..." Twilight faltered awkwardly.

"Y'know, anything you could tell us would be a load o' help." Mal offered helpfully.

"Huh? Oh, right! Well... Wait a minute! Yes! Last night, when you crashed here! There were more ships!"

"More?"

"Yes! Loads and... loads... Oh no."

Mal nodded morosely. "Reavers. Where did they land?"

Twilight felt a chill run down her spine, as she pointed a hoof to the mountains just barely visible in the distance. "Over... Over in the mountains. About two weeks' trot away from here."

"Right." Mal paused. "How long is two weeks here?"

"Huh? It's fourteen days..."

"Right. Ten days until we see Reavers strollin' down here!" Mal announced.

"What?" Twilight questioned, perplexed. "But I just said..."

Mal cut Twilight off without a second's thought. "You don't take chances with Reavers. Did you catch anythin' else landin' down here?"

Twilight had to pause before answering. It had all been such a rush the night before! Memories were blurred, and the unicorn seriously doubted that at least half the conversations she had participated in had been real. How did she know, even now, that her judgement wasn't impaired? Maybe even that these aliens weren't brainwashing her somehow, for some evil purpose? Not that the two ponies could do much about it, were that true. With the effort she put in, it was almost a physical pain to dredge up the memories from last night that had become clouded and mixed-up. Where the meteors- where the spaceships had fallen.

"There were... I think, some of them might have landed in the Everfree Forest."

Wash had been standing beside Mal as Twilight had said this last sentence, only turning away to gaze over at the base of the faded mountains. "Say, that forest doesn't happen to be the one over there, with the foreboding atmosphere and perpetually seething storm clouds, does it?"

"Uhmm..."

"Great. So what's the plan?"

"Saddle up the mule. We'll scope out the whole edge of the forest, then see where that takes us. I'd rather wait until Jayne's up before headin into a place like that. If he's not up to it, then we'll go in anyway."

"Wait, you mean-" Twilight begun to interrupt, to be cut off by Wash.

"And what about the pony-things? Pinkie and Purpley?"

"Hey! We-"

"Easy. They're comin' with us."

"-here y'know! Wait, what?!"


"Sir, that really isn't much of a plan."

"Have you ever known any of the Captain's plans to go the way we want them to? Remember Ariel? What about that time Patience shot him? Twice! Way I see it, the less of a plan we have, the less it can go wrong when it invariably goes wrong."

"Wash!"

"What? It's true."

Mal ignored Wash, focusing back on Zoe. "So, sound good?"

"No, but we'll go through with it anyway."


Forty-five minutes later, the Mule II had been successfully, if painstakingly, brought up over the edge of the crater. Here, Twilight experienced her first, real taste of human technology in action. Opening large doors was one thing to look at, but a floating metal cart?!

"How does it work?" Twilight asked, staring in awe at the yellow machine marvel floating more than a hoof from the ground.

“Basically?” Mal asked. “The same way our ship does. Fusion. There’s a smaller reactor in there supplyin’ power to the whole thing. Ask Kaylee about it, when we bring you back.”

Wash was sat in the front seat of the vehicle, and with a single movement the roar of the machine was brought up to deafening levels, air blasting out from underneath its body.

Twilight jumped back in fright as a spluttering bang cracked from its rear, accompanied by a short plume of black smoke.

“Is... Is it safe?

Mal looked down at her, smirking just slightly. “Not at all. Goes damn fast though.”


Crazy! These humans were crazy!

Twilight ducked yet again, as another dangerously low-hanging branch threatened to knock her clean from her seat on the Mule. The wind ripped past, searing her already narrowed eyes as the wall of black and brown blurred past on her left: the almost geometrically-perfect border of the Everfree Forest. Not a single tree spread it’s roots out past that invisible line that separated the expansive meadows on Twilight’s right, from the thorny malevolence of the woods beyond.

Even with the sun shining down on her, Twilight couldn’t suppress the horrible shiver of fear that was ingrained in the mind of every sane pony. Yet as irrational as it was (Twilight made frequent visits into the forest, for Celestia’s sake!) no rational thought could prevent that chill from moving down her spine, even with the rush of wind still threatening to blow her from her seat. Something felt different about the forest this time. Something wrong.

But of course, Twilight-

"Duck!

“Wha-“ the unicorn was cut off as a hand reached around her to push her flat into the metal of the vehicle, a much lower branch just scraping the tip of her horn.

“Maybe you shouldn’t drive so close to the trees, hmm, Wash?”

“I think I see your point...” Wash chirped, cautiously rising along with the five other passengers. Twilight’s centre of gravity shifted slightly as the Mule listed away from the trees.

“You can barely see past the damn vines, anyway. Hey Wash, slow it down a bit, will ya?” The Captain turned around to face Twilight, who, sitting at the very back, was sat between and behind him and Shepard Book (whose named strongly implied that he was a book collector of some kind.) “So, Twilight Sparkle, how many else o’ these ‘ponies' live around here, anyway?”

Twilight hesitated before asking. “Well, I don’t-“

“Mal, in the sky!” Book shouted.

“Really?! Can’t I even speak half a sentence without being interrupted? What is it now?!”

“It’s Rainbow Dash!” Pinkie squealed elatedly, bouncing erratically between Wash and Zoe.

Wash turned to Pinkie, an incredulous look on his face, before focusing back on keeping the Mule from crashing into a tree. “Rainbow what?!

“Rainbow Dash?!” Twilight looked up. Sure enough, just barely visible against the glow of the blue sky, a small, rainbow-coloured trail could be seen steadily flying directly above the group.

Mal drew his gun quickly, steadying it on his left arm as he thumbed the hammer. “Mind explainin’ what that is?”

“That’s our friend Rainbow Dash!” Pinkie shouted back.

“One of your pony friends?” Mal glanced down at Twilight, before returning his eyes to the now empty sky. He didn’t hear what Twilight said next. What he did hear was a roar of air, followed closely by a deafening “whump” sound as the air was knocked out of him.

The single painful blow to Mal’s chest tore him straight out from his seat, and continued forward to drag him along several feet of grass, where he eventually came to a grinding halt. The sky swam back into focus slowly, the pounding in his head receding, second by agonising second. Shouting could be heard from a distance, but Mal’s attention was more drawn to the angry, scratchy voice coming from atop his still constricted chest.

“So you think you can just get away with just ponynapping my friends, huh?! Well, bet you didn’t count on Rainbow Dash and her patented Feather Flash, huh?! So, what do you have to say for yourself, you big monster jerk?!”

“What...”

“Are you even listening to me?!” The sky above Mal was blocked out by a brighter blue as two large, deep, angry fuchsia eyes locked with his. As disoriented as he was, he could tell in a second that this thing was the same as the two aliens currently on the Mule; another ‘pony’.

“Rainbow Dash, wait!”

“Huh?”

Mal took advantage of the creature’s sudden lapse of attention to force the weight from his chest, causing the pony standing on top of him to tumble down onto the grass.

“Mal!” Sitting up, Mal saw the three crewmembers and two ponies running (and galloping?) towards him and the newcomer. “You okay?”

“Yeah Wash, I’m fine.”

“Mal, you were just sent crashing into the ground by this creature at around fifty miles an hour! Your spine should be in pieces right about about now!”

The Captain looked up at Book. He opened his mouth, then closed it. He really had been hit that hard, except he’d only been winded at worst. There might be bruising, sure, but most of the pain he felt now had been caused by the crash. That he hadn’t slept since coming here probably had something to do with it, too. Snapping from his thoughts, Mal stood up as the ponies started a conversation of their own.

“Rainbow Dash, it’s okay, these things aren’t monsters!”

“They’re not?”

“No, they’re aliens! They’re called ‘humans’!”

“Aliens, huh?” Rainbow Dash’s eyes narrowed. “Well, how do y’know that you can trust ‘em, hmm?! Maybe they’re just waiting for the best moment to try and eat us!”

“What? That’s nonsense!” Twilight scoffed, before turning up to the humans. “It is nonsense, right?”

“Well, maybe until we get really hungry-“

“Wash! Yes, it’s nonsense. Jus’ don’t go careening into every one of us y’see, okay? You’re lucky you didn’t get shot.”

“Shot?”

“Yeah, unless you're thinkin’ that you could outpace a bullet.”

The cerulean pony flared her wings, striking a pose at the humans. “‘Outpace a bullet’? Do you know who you’re talking to?!”

“I’m not entirely sure I wanna know.”

“The name’s Rainbow Dash,” the pegasus announced, nose raised proudly skyward. “Fastest flier in Equestria!”

“Uh huh... So... You’ve got wings.”

“Duh! I’m a pegasus pony!”

“O‘course you are. And these two...” - Mal pointed back to Twilight and Pinkie - “...Are your friends?”

“Sure are!”

“Right then...” Mal began, “So, you can fly pretty high, huh?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe! Hay, if I could fly any higher, I’d-“

“Yeah yeah, anyway, my point bein’, you haven’t just so happened to spy any flamin’ hunks of metal crash down here recently, have you? They’re parts of our ship, and we’re itchin’ to get them back.”

Rainbow raised a hoof to her chin in thought. “Huh, so that's what was in that crater? Looked more like a rock than a spaceship. Guess that’s why you crashed, huh?”

“She flies fine. ‘Least, she does when she’s all there. That’s why we need those parts back.”

“Hmm... Y’know, I think I sorta remember seeing smoke rise from the Everfree Forest. Maybe your ‘parts’ are in there? Either way, it’s not my problem!”

“Well, it is now!” Mal proclaimed. “Seeing as how you’re the only one whose actually seen what we’re lookin’ for, you’re gonna help us find what we need.”

The pegasus’ eyes narrowed dangerously. “Oh yeah? You expect me to just help a bunch of stinky aliens who just kidnap my friends? And why would I do that?!”

“Because we ‘stinky aliens’ are the only ones about who can help you with another up-and-comin’ problem: Reavers.”

“Reavers?”

“Reavers,” Mal affirmed. “You really think we just so happened to crash on this planet for no good reason? Truth is, Reavers chased us here, and they most assuredly followed us down here to the surface. Most times, if Reavers land on your chunk of rock, you find a new chunk to live on. Either that, or get yourself one of these, “ Mal unholstered his pistol, “and bid your behind ‘farewell’. Nothin’s worse that bein’ got by those monsters.”

Rainbow Dash snorted, chuckling slightly as she spoke. “Really?! Y’know, we deal with monsters on a weekly basis here. I think we can handle a few of these Reavers!”

Mal shook his head. “You don’t know. These Reavers will kill and cannibalise anything they see that breathes, and they won’t stop. You need our help.”

“I dunno...”

Twilight stepped forward. “Rainbow Dash, I really think we should listen to them. You didn’t see what I saw last night; how many more ships there were!”

“Well...” The pony mulled it over shortly, before making her mind up. “Okay, if Twilight says I should trust you, then fine. The sooner you stinky aliens leave, the better. But don’t think that I don’t have my eye on you!”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Mal turned from Rainbow Dash to the unicorn stood next to her. “Twilight, how many other ponies are there around here?”

“Well, I suppose the closest place is Ponyville-“ The bark of Wash’s laughter cut her off briefly, “- which is run by Mayor Mare...”

Mal turned to Wash.

Wash looked back. “What?”

“Well, aren’t you gonna laugh at that, too?”

“I’m already pretty much accustomed to it, at this point. Heck, if this keeps up, I’ll have a sore throat within half an hour.”

“Right... Zoe, a word?” Zoe complied, and the two stepped away from the group.

“You’re handlin’ this awfully well Captain, all things considered.”

“What can I say? Crazy begets crazy. Or, somethin’ like that. I’m just goin’ along with this so that we can get the hell back to being shot at like normal people.”

“So, next step?”

“We do what we’d do in any other situation. These things can reason like people, so we go to their ‘Ponyville’ and try to warn ‘em, and try to find the best way through this Everfree Forest. Sound good?”

Zoe shrugged “What’s the worst that could happen, that hasn’t already happened? I don’t exactly see us being run out of town by these ponies, anyway.”

“Okay then.” Mal turned back to the rest of the group. “Everybody, and ponies, back on the Mule! Twilight Sparkle?”

“Yes?”

“Take us to your leader.”

Everybody groaned.

Chapter 10: The Simple Plan

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“No way! So the whole thing’s made out of metal?! No wonder it crashed!”

“That’s what I thought too! But this other human called Kaylee who was really nice and friendly even though she’d only just met us said that the ship flies using Elements!” Pinkie replied to Rainbow Dash over the shout of the wind. With the four humans and two land-bound ponies back in the Mule, the group had set off towards the town, Rainbow Dash flying alongside.

“Wait, Elements? Like the Elements of Harmony?!”

“Elements of Harmony?” Book questioned Mal, the latter merely shrugging in response.

“I don’t think so,” Pinkie continued. “Kaylee said that they have Elements called ‘Hydrogen’ and ‘Helium’!”

“Like in balloons?”

“I guess so! Hey, Mister Captain, is your ship a Balloon?”

“Well, it’s not exactly that...”

“Hey, we’re almost there!” Twilight called out. Sure enough, the silhouettes of shapely house roofs could just be seen over the gentle rise of the fields.

Mal leant down by Wash so as to be heard over the gale “Wash, slow up, and bring us down a few yards from the outskirts, ‘kay? Keep it quiet.”

“Sure thing. Make sure that no magical flying horses notice the approach of a roaring, hovering metal transport with a bunch of aliens on board. How hard can it be?”


But, true to his word, they had come to a halt, undetected, just a few minutes later. The Mule had been parked in the shadow of one of the larger buildings, the sun having moved across the sky enough to provide ample shade for the group.

"Which sun do you reckon that is, up there, anyway?" Book questioned.

The Mule settled on the ground as Wash cut the power to it, replacing the dull hum of the vehicle with the stir of the wind and muffled chatter. "We were out by Huang Long about a week ago, but it can't be that; If it was as big as the star up there is, we'd be in the system proper. Hell, we'd be about where Boros orbits."

"So what are we orbiting?" The Shepard muttered inquisitively.

"And where was it when we were crashin’?”

The group look to each other, but none could answer either of those questions.

“So, uh?” Twilight began to speak, “I guess we’ll go find the Mayor now...”

“You and Pinkie go on, Twilight! I’m not letting these stinky aliens outta my sight!”

“Again with the ‘stinky’?” Wash muttered.

“To be fair,” Zoe returned, “It has been a while since any of us have had a decent shower.”

“Well, if you’re sure... Then okay, I won’t be too long. Just please, stay out of trouble. *All of you,* please!” And with that, Twilight and PInkie turned the corner, disappearing into the unseen town, leaving Rainbow Dash with the four humans.

“So, you’re the captain, huh?” Rainbow turned to Mal. “That means you crashed your spaceship here?”

“Actually, Wash here’s the pilot, so he’s (Mal clapped Wash on the shoulder) the one who crashed the ship, if you’re sticklin’ for those details.”

“Hey!”

“Maybe you could take a few pointers from the Fastest Flier in E-“

“Everyone quiet!” Zoe snapped.

Mal picked up on it instantly. “Everyone hug the wall. Loudmouth, head ‘round the corner, head off any of your other friends who come along. We do not need any more commotion like this.”

Rainbow’s eyes narrowed. “Who ya calling ‘loudmouth’?!”

“Just do it!” Mal commanded back.

With a huff, Rainbow rounded the corner Twilight and Pinkie had left by earlier, the four humans edging closer to try and make out any conversation.

“Oh, hi Rainbow Dash!” a new voice exclaimed.

“Uh, hey there, Heartstrings, Bon Bon... What’s up?”

“Oh, not much! Me and Bon Bon were just talking when I heard something really weird come from over here-“

This time another voice, probably Bon Bon, piped up. “Heartstrings, I’m telling you, I didn’t hear anything! It was probably just your imagination!”

“Nuh-uh! No way! I’m telling you, this isn’t just in my imagination! This is in my gut.

“Oh, Celestia...”

“Anyway, Rainbow, you just came from there, did you hear anything? It kinda sounded like roaring!”

“Uhh... Nope! Didn’t hear anything! Didn’t see anything outta the ordinary either! Yep, just regular, boring ol’ Equestrian grass! And ponies, just normal ponies!”

Silence reigned as the humans exchanged pained glances with each other. Then, Heartstrings’ voice sounded out. “Okay!” The crew breathed a collective sigh of relief. “Me and Bon Bon’ll just go see for ourselves, then!”

Mal swore under his breath. “Come on, we do not need this!”

“No, wait!” Rainbow stammered. “You don’t want to go that way!”

“And why not?” Heartstrings asked, beginning to catch onto something.

“Because I... Uhh... I do remember hearing something! Yeah! But it was over from that direction! Here, I’ll show you!”

“Rainbow Dash, you really shouldn’t encourage Heartstrings like this...”

The voices faded into the distance as the three ponies moved away from the building.

“That went smoothly.” Wash remarked, a grimace on his face.

“Yeah, well, the sooner this is sorted out, the sooner we can stop dealin’ with all this.”

“How d’you figure that?”

“Simple. Twilight speaks to this ‘Mayor Mare’, and we figure out the best way into the Everfree. If possible, we get the Mule in there, and pull out everything of ours we can get our hands on. We fix up the ship-“

“In a week!

“We can manage it. We’ve managed more.”

“Have we, sir?”

“... We fix up the ship, and see to dealin’ with the Reavers. Who knows, maybe we’ll find a friendly dragon to help us. If not, just having Serenity up will be a help.”

“Captain, do you really think that we-“

“No, wait! Heartstrings, stop!

From around the corner barrelled a small, aquamarine unicorn, white-and-mint striped mane flying in the wind. She came to a tumbling stop, Rainbow Dash following by shooting straight over her, into the ground. Time froze as the two ponies came to a grinding halt. All eyes settled on the new pony as she gazed up at the four humans, amber irises dilating with shock.

“Heartstrings-”

“Oh... Celestia...”

“Heartstrings, just listen!”

“Real life aliens!” In a heartbeat the pony had jumped up, and rushed to the feet of the humans, yammering wildly. “I knew it! You tried to fool me, but I knew better! I always knew better! I never had any proof, until today! The ancient aliens have returned!”

What.” chorused Mal and Dash.

“Heartstrings, come back! I-“ From around the same corner rushed another pony, this one with a light caramel coat and a curly dark-blue and pink mane. Bon Bon. The pony stared at the still scene, eyes darting between the six creatures. Before anyone could react, she screamed out the one word Mal had been dreading.

"Monsters!” In one swift, fluid motion Bon Bon had swung Heartstrings up by her tail, onto her back. Within a second the two had fled back around the corner, the pony still screaming at the top of her lungs. “Everypony hide! Monsters in Ponyville!” Within ten seconds, the shouting had spread to at least twenty more out-of-sight ponies, and it showed no signs of stopping or slowing down. The slamming of doors could be heard as every creature in the area locked themselves within their homes, hoping for safety. Within twenty seconds, the town was silent.

“Uh, sorry?” Rainbow Dash tried an apologetic smile, but found it faltering under the stern gaze of Mal and Zoe.

Wash sighed. “That went well.”

Chapter 11: The Argument

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“Now Twilight and Pinkie, you know I respect your opinions as the student of Princess Celestia, and the... local baker... but you honestly can’t expect me to believe all of this.”

“But it’s true! And I have proof! The meteor shower from last night-“

“-Was one which you yourself predicted, wasn’t it?” The elderly mare interrupted over her half-moon spectacles.

“Yes, but that’s why nopony noticed anything! The aliens crashed during the meteor shower!”

“That seems rather convenient.”

“Maybe it is; maybe they’re connected. But that doesn’t matter right now! Their ship is crashed in the meadow, and the aliens are right outside the town!”

Mayor Mare cast a sympathetic smile towards the raving unicorn. “Now, Twilight, I understand that you do spend a... rather large amount of time cooped up in that stuffy library... And as I understand it, you do tend to overwork yourself on a regular basis-“

“I’m not crazy!”

The mayor raised an eyebrow.

“Not this time, at least! Come on Pinkie, back me up!”

Pinkie Pie had, up until now, been standing uncharacteristically silently at the entrance to the Mayor’s office. Upon hearing Twilight’s voice, however, she nodded wildly, pink curls flailing with every movement. “It’s true Mayor! I was there with Twilight the whoooole time! I met the Captain and Wash and Zoe and then Book and Inara and then Simon and River and Kaylee who was really nice and friendly even though she’d only just met us and she told me all about...” Pinkie continued on, as the Mayor turned back to the unicorn.

Look, Twilight, you have to understand,” Mayor Mare sighed, “I am extremely busy right now. Barring some sort of riot or mass hysteria...” The pony paused. Twilight and Pinkie paused too.

"Monsters! Help!"

“Uh, Mayor?”

The mare just stared blankly up towards the window of her office, the shouts growing louder as they spread towards the town hall.

The pause was broken as a beige stallion galloped in, slamming open the door as he entered. “Mayor Mare! Panic in the streets! Monsters! Ancient Aliens!”

Twilight couldn’t help but smirk at the look on the Mayor’s face, as the three ran out to meet the chaos that awaited.

They exited just time to see the last door slam shut, dust clouds fading into the air as the usually bustling square transformed into a ghost town. A handful of braver ponies ventured out behind the trio, heads lowered in fear.

“Now do you believe me, Mayor?”

“Lets just get this over with...” the old mare sighed again, rushing off after the already galloping Twilight. In just over a minute, the three ponies, tailed by maybe four curious followers, had come to a stop just outside one of the outermost buildings in the town.

“Now,” Twilight turned back to the ponies, “please don’t panic. I know they might look scary, but thy really aren’t that bad. Just try and be friendly, okay?”

The ponies nodded hesitantly. Satisfied, Twilight turned the corner.

“The lady returns at last,” Mal quipped.

“What happened?! I thought I told you to stay hidden!”

“We were.”

Book stepped forward. “One pony didn’t seem so interested in the distraction Rainbow attempted.”

“Okay... What did they look like?”

“Oh, the usual,” Wash chimed in. “Mint-green, called herself Heartstrings, mad gleam in her eyes... Seemed insane even by your standards.”

“Hey!” Twilight barked.

“So what now?” Book questioned.

“Hmph... Well, everypony ran inside when they heard about you guys, and they’ll probably stay like that... So for now, I guess we don’t need to worry about them anyway.”

“That’ll make things easier when the Reavers come.”

“How so?” Twilight asked Mal.

“No matter how prepared you think you are, you’re never ready to take on a Reaver. They ain’t just monsters, they’re capable an’ smart to boot. Only idiots try to fight ‘em, and they don’t fare all that well. Plus, should they be in the safety of their abodes, it makes what we have t’do a whole lot less of a mess.”

“What you have to do?”

“Fight ‘em, of course!”

“But you just said... Oh.”

The attention of the group turned to the new arrival, Mayor Mare, who had let herself be known with a small sound: an odd mix between the clearing of one’s throat and a low, muffled squeal.

“Oh, of course!” Twilight exclaimed. “Humans, this is Mayor Mare! Mayor Mare, this is Captain Malcolm Reynolds, Shepard Book, Wash, and Zoe!”

Mayor Mare stared up at the humans, eyes wide and pupils contracted to pin-points. “I... I di- didn’t think... Real aliens?!”

“That we surely are, Miss. So, you’re the authority around here?” Mal asked.

“I- Well, I... Yes, I suppose... I mean, of course, not the whole land, but the town, of course, yes...” the old Mare sputtered.

“Shiny. Now listen good. We ain’t here to hurt you or your kind. As a matter of bein’, we’re about as confused as you seem. We’ll be happy to leave you and this place as it was before we arrived...Only we can’t exactly do it right now. The ship we few in on took a poundin’ and parts we assuredly need have made their way into your Everfree Forest. On top of that, we’ve been hunted by monsters down to this place, and they’ll likely be upon us, and your town, in a week or so. Now, we need you to keep your town and it’s residents safe inside when it goes down. Understand?”

“You... You want me to... keep the town safe?”

“That should come as natural to you, but we need another favour.”

“And, that would be...”

“A way into the Forest, and a way of navigating it.”

Mayor Mare somehow managed to physically turn paler as Mal spoke. “The Everfree? I- I’ll see what I can do. Twilight knows of the forest somewhat...”

“You do?”

The purple unicorn nodded. “Me and my friends have been in there a few times. I could show you the entrance, if you’d like.”

“That’d be much appreciated. We’ll-“ The ponies all jumped slightly as a sharp crackle of static sounded from Mal’s person, followed by a very slightly distorted voice.

“Captain? Mal, are you there?”

Mal pulled the walkie-talkie out from his pocket as the ponies stared at it in confusion. “I’m here, Kaylee. How’re y’all holdin’ up?”

“Oh, y’know, the usual,” Kaylee sighed, somewhat wearily, but the happiness in her tone was still discernible. “Jayne’s delirious, but he’s awake. Simon says he’s got him stabilised, but he’s goin’to need to keep him on antibiotics for now. But we’ve got another problem.”

“Shoot.”

“We’re low on food, and the Purifier’s broken. I’m tryin’ to find the break, but for now, we have no water, and about four day’s worth of protein packets.”

“We’ll make it work. How ‘bout the rest of the crew?”

“Inara’s mad at you for chargin’ out blindly without talkin’ to her about it. Nothing new there, I guess,” she chuckled nervously. “Simon’s dealin’ with this in his own way. He hasn’t left the infirmary for a second. You’d almost think he was Jayne’s mother, or something. River’s... Well, actin’ like River. I haven’t been listening too hard, but some of the stuff she’s spoutin’... It’s creepy, Mal. Simon’s not been able to be with her, and I’m worried for her...”

“We’ll get back soon. In the meantime, keep River nearby. Keep her mind on something, and don’t take your eyes off o’her. First signs y’see of her actin’ up, you tell me, ‘kay?”

“Sure thing, Captain... Kaylee out.”

The moment Mal pocketed the device, Pinkie blurted out a stream of questions. “That was Kaylee?! Were you talking to her in that little box?! Can you all do that? Is she still in there?! Oh, hi Kaylee!”

“Pinkie!” Twilight jammed her hoof in Pinkie’s mouth to silence her. “It’s obviously just how they talk over long distances! Like how I send letters to Celestia with Spike... Right?” She looked expectantly up to Mal.

“Well, if that’s how you want t’say it.”

“Y’know, if you don’t have much to eat, then you’re welcome to anything we can provide. Right, Mayor?” Twilight turned to the older mare, hoping that her reaction would be a positive one. The humans still seemed highly uncomfortable around the ponies, and Twilight hoped she could change that by being friendly, even if they only became slightly less suspicious.

“Well, of course, I suppose... Just so long as you don’t eat ponies.”

“That won’t be an issue. And thanks, but we really don’t eat hay.”

“Flowers?” Twilight tried.

“Sure don’t.”

“What about fruit? Do you eat apples? How about bread?”

“Oh oh! I bet they eat cake! You do eat cake, right?!” Pinkie interjected.

Mal seemed momentarily taken aback, but he quickly recovered. “Y’know what, that sounds fine. We’ll just-“ He never finished his sentence, as a loop of rope was thrown over him, tightening over his ankles and tripping him. Reavers. Even as he fell, Mal and the other three crew members drew their guns, forming against the wall of the building they were under. Zoe had already produced a knife from some secret pocket during the moment of confusion, and was down by Mal’s side, tearing at the rope.

“Now y’all just listen here! You let our friends go, and there won’t be any trouble, understand?!”

Okay, so maybe not Reavers.

The rope had been thrown from around the side of the building, from which emerged yet another pony, this one orange, with bright green eyes and a long blond mane, atop which sat...

“A stetson?!” Wash barked in surprise.

The new pony ignored him, instead addressing her friends’ “captors”.

“Ah don’t know where you came from, but I’m willin’ to send you all back there the hard way-“

“Applejack-“ Twilight attempted to interrupt.

“-if’n any of y’all so much as move a muscle! Yes, Twilight?”

“Applejack, they’re not bad! They’re our friends!”

“Friends? If they’re friends, how come they’re all holdin’ y’all out here behind this building?” Applejack squinted warily.

“They’re just hiding here so that they wouldn’t scare anypony else.”

“Oh.” Applejack said plainly. “Didn’t work out so well, huh? ...What are they, anyway? Where’d they come from” the Earth Pony asked, looking up at the tall creatures.

“They’re called Humans! They’re aliens who crashed here!”

“Ah see... An’ do they have names?”

“We surely do,” Mal spoke up. “I’m Captain Reynolds, or Mal, if you prefer. This here’s Wash, Zoe, and Book.” Mal pointed out each crewmember as he spoke. “And you’re Applejack, I’d guess at. Now, much as I’d love to stay and eat cake with a bunch’a tiny talkin’ horses, we got business on our end which needs some attendin’. Twilight, you and your Mayor know what needs doin’ I hope?”

Twilight nodded decisively. “Keep the town safe, and get you a way through the Everfree forest to find your ship parts. Got it.” Despite her words, Twilight couldn’t help put feel a dreadful pit at the bottom of her stomach. “Hey, uh, Captain Reynolds? You all seem nice and great and everything, but these ‘Reavers’... You can deal with them, right?”

Mal's expression remained blank as her spoke. “We’ll find a way.”

A few words of small talk and a fewer minutes later, and the crew had set back off towards the direction of Serenity, leaving the ponies behind in a trail of dust.

“So,” Applejack adressed Twilight, Dash, and Pinkie, the Mayor having already left. “Any of you mind explainin’ just what’s goin’ on?”

The orange mare turned to Rainbow Dash... “Hey, don’t look at me!” the Pegasus pouted. “I only just met them today!” ...Then to Pinkie...

“Well, it aaall started last night, when I was tucked up all snugly in bed, when my Pinkie-sense just went kaa-blooey! My tail started twitching ree-a-lly badly and it wouldn’t stop so I twitched all the way out of my bed and onto the floor and outta my bedroom and into the hallway and then down the stairs and then to the bottom of the staircase and then out of the door and then outside Sugarcube Corner and then...”

Applejack, sighed, writing off Pinkie’s long-winded explanation as a lost cause. Finally, her eyes settled on Twilight, Pinkie still yammering in the background. “It’s sort of a long story...” Twilight managed an awkward smile.

“We got time: Carousel Boutique is still a fair ways away from here.”

“Huh? Why there?” Rainbow asked.

“Don’t’cha think Rarity an’ Fluttershy’ll want to know about all this?” Applejack asked back. “Come on, Twi. Might as well start sooner than later.”

“Okay...” Twilight sighed. “It all started last night...”


Wash piloted the Mule II at a slow enough speed that talking wasn’t made impossible by the roar of the engines.

“Well,” Mal began, “that went smoothly. How’s everyone holdin’ up?”

“Considering the dire and unforeseen circumstances?” Wash asked. “Just shiny.”

“What about you, Book? You’ve hardly said a word on this whole matter.”

“I just find the whole situation fascinating. These ponies are as much human as you or I, and at a glance, their culture bears remarkable similarity to ours.”

“How so?”

“Well, the presence of a Mayor, for one thing. And I assume you noticed that ‘Applejack’ pony’s accent?”

“Border-accent.” Zoe commented.

The crew remained silent the rest of the journey, the implications of what Zoe and Book said weighing on their minds.

It looked to be just past midday as the crew re-entered Serenity, Kaylee closing the bulkhead behind them. “So, how’d it all go?”

“A few bumps and bruises, mostly mine,” Mal replied, “but all seems to be workin’ out okay. How’s Serenity?”

Kaylee sighed. “The more I look at it, more it seems like fiin’ her’s an impossible job. Let alone havin’ her flyin’ in a week.”

“Well, that’s why you’re our mechanic. You’ll find a way,” Mal smiled at her, before continuing through the hallways to the infirmary, where Simon could be seen sorting through the various pieces of medical equipment. The captain went to speak, but was interrupted by Jayne, lying on the bed in the centre of the room. “Mal...”

Simon turned at the sound, as Mal moved in towards the injured man. “Hey Jayne. Feelin’ any better?”

“Feel like horsesh-“

“-Well your guttermouth’s certainly back to it’s full glory!” Mal interrupted. “Interestin’ choice of words, though.”

“That Doc’s got me hopped up on somethin’, Mal. Messin’ with mah head... Wait, what ‘bout my words?”

Mal shared a brief glance with Simon before answering. “Well, if you must know, that scuffle with the Reavers got us crashed on an uncharted planet inhabited by adorable technicolor alien ponies an’ unicorns, and now they’ve invited us for cake an’ sandwiches.”

Were Simon drinking something at the time Mal had spoken, he would’ve performed an entirely involuntary spit-take. As it was, Jayne just snorted deliriously. “Ponies, huh? Y’know, my granpappy knew a guy what had some ponies... Tell ‘em I said ‘hi’...”

“I’ll do just that, Jayne.” Mal said solemnly, before turning to the Doctor. “Simon, you got a minute?”

He nodded, and followed Mal into the dining room. Mal interrupted him before he could even begin talking. “Kaylee tells me River’s been disturbed since we got crashed here.”

“I’ll go and talk to her. I promise, she won’t be a problem while we’re here.”

“Good. I don’t want to go locking her up in her room, but I will if I have to.”

“That won’t be necessary. She’s been getting better, Mal.”

“She’s been quieter, not better. With her, I don’t know how different the two stand apart.” Mal sighed. “I don’t know what this planet is, but I’ve got my own theories about it, and I don’t want River confirmin’ them. If she ends up hurtin’ one of my crew-“

“River wouldn’t do that! Did you forget the whole thing where she saved your ass from that Jubal Early guy?”

"After she led him to us! And don’t tell me you’ve forgotten that whole episode of hers with the gun! You might’nt want to see it, but she’s volatile and unpredictable. That all spells danger in my mind, and that’s why I want you keepin’ a closer eye on her. Especially while we’re here.” Mal saw Book follow Kaylee in just as he’d finished speaking, joining Zoe and Wash, stood just beside the doorway in the corner of Mal’s eye.

“Are you even listening to yourself? Here you are, telling me to keep my sister under wraps, and you’re talking about just waltzing up to those things and letting them on board without even knowing what they are!”

By now all attention was focused on the tension brewing at the centre of the room, between Mal and Simon.

“I’m not sure I’m all too keen on your tone,” Mal said calmly.

“Yeah, I can see why!” Simon snapped. “Am I honestly the only person here sane enough to see just how ridiculous this whole thing is?!”

“Really? Really Simon? You think you’re the only one here not slightly rustled by al this? Y’know, I’ve been doing all I can to keep my crew safe and alive-“

“Oh, and you’re doing a damn fine job of it, too! Look where we are Mal!”

“Simon-“

“We’re stranded on some random, uncharted planet only you could manage to stumble upon with your idiocy, with no food or water, no way off, nowhere to run, and Reavers hunting us down just a few miles away! How is that ‘safe’? And to top it off, you prioritise the safety and trivialities of some... Creatures, you’ve only just met, over getting us away from this place as quickly as damn possible! That you haven’t got us all killed already baffles me!”

“Simon,” Mal began, his voice dangerously low and level. “You’re a part of my crew, which makes me your Captain. You’ll respect the choices I make with your best interests at mind, and you’ll respect my authority-“

“To hell with your authority!” Simon approached Mal, raising his head to meet his gaze. “Do you even care?” he hissed with quiet rage.

Mal swung out without warning, but his jab connected with just air, where the side of Simon’s head should’ve been. As quickly as Mal had moved, Simon had retaliated, moving under the swing to deliver a harsh jab to the abdomen. It wasn’t meant to injure, just as Mal’s had only meant to knock Simon down, but it did enough to both wind and stagger.

The Captain doubled over as Simon passed by him towards the exit, the rest of the crew watching in stunned silence. “Fool me twice, Mal. You can’t solve all your problems by punching them,” he remarked dryly. The door closed almost completely behind him, but was left open just enough that Simon’s last comment could be heard. “You might want to get that bruise checked by a doctor."

Chapter 12: The Calm River

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Jayne awoke to mumbling. He might’ve awoken to mumbling before, but he was doing it again now. He couldn’t hear the maybe-mumbling then, but he could hear it now.

“-try to think, and look, and see, and it’s round here. Everything is round and real, like a toy, but out there it’s flat. It’s like a book and its pages, it’s not real until you turn the page and read what’s written there and see what it is. They can’t see the pages.”

River’s face appeared inches away from Jayne, her eyes locked with his own widening pupils. “They go out, but they’re not a part of the pages. They can read the words, but they make the pages bulge, like stones between the covers.”

Jayne tilted his head to the right, still never tearing his gaze away from the two crazed eyes that looked down upon him. “Simon! Yer sister’s sayin’ crazy words!”

“It doesn’t make any sense!” River half shouted, half hissed. “Nothing of ours should be out there! Their words and strings seep in, but it doesn’t change what’s inside here. How can they exist?!”

“Simon?!” Jayne glanced past River to the door, the only way out of the infirmary. It remain closed. His eyes darted left and right, before settling upon the table beside him, upon which rested a small, yet lethally sharp scalpel.

River saw it too.

Jayne grabbed out for it, River’s smaller hand following in pursuit. His fingers wrapped around the hilt of the metal instrument just as River’s own dug into his wrist. Jayne let out a yelp, and tried to wrest his arm away from River, but her grasp remained firm. As strong as Jayne was, River had the advantage. He was still partly delirious from the medication, River had her whole body weight focused down on his arm, and her abnormal strength was crushing his wrist.

“Simon!”

“It doesn’t make a difference! Their world is so different, but wherever we go, death follows!” cried River. “They just won’t stop screaming! Why won’t they stop?!”

River’s hand slipped away from Jayne, and the larger man felt her weight being pulled off away from him. Looking up, he saw River sobbing into Simon’s shoulder as he held her.

“River? River, it’s alright! It’s okay, you’re safe here.”

Why is this happening to me?!

“River, this is going to get better... I’m going to fix this, remember?”

The distraught girl looked up at Simon, managing to speak clearly even through the tears. “It’s going to be so much worse.

“No!” Simon grasped River by the arms. “No, don’t say that! Okay, River, look at me. Look at me. It’s going to be alright. I don’t know when, but you’ll be alright. You’ll be alright.”

River nodded wordlessly, and allowed herself to be drawn into another hug by Simon. The Doctor made eye contact with Jayne from over her shoulder just as he’d finished setting the scalpel back on the table. Jayne made a point of rubbing his crushed wrist, hoping that Simon would think that he hadn’t just been wielding a scalpel against his seventeen year old sister. Maybe he had noticed, but had seen that Jayne had grabbed it to keep River away from it. Maybe he’d noticed and assumed that Jayne would’ve used it on her, but hadn’t brought it up.

“You okay, Jayne?”

“Fine. Just keep a damn eye on your sister,” Jayne grunted.

Simon nodded, and escorted River out of the infirmary with the intent of getting her back to her room. The two turned a corner down to the crew quarters, and nearly walked headfirst into Mal.

“Simon.”

“Captain.”

...Both stood in silence.

“Quite a punchin’ arm you got there, Simon. They teach you how to do that in Doctor school?”

Simon quietly motioned for River to return to her room, Mal watching in silence as she slunk past him before turning back to listen to the doctor.

“Maybe I’ve grown accustomed to living amongst a bunch of brutes and bandits. Though to be honest, I really didn’t expect it to go so smoothly.”

“Well, all things considered, I did get myself pretty roughed up there by a flying blue pony earlier in the day.”

“...It scares me that I actually believe that. You got ‘roughed up’ by one?”

“Sure did. Little thing barrelled into me, knocked me clean outta the Mule at full speed. Sent me hurlin’ couple dozen o’ metres, at least,” Mal recollected.

“And you’re still standing?

“That itched at my my mind too.” Mal frowned. “Winded me good and hard, but it didn’t hurt so bad out there. I’m beginnin’ to notice it ache at me now, though.”

Simon matched Mal’s grim look. “Get yourself into the infirmary. I need to make sure River’s okay, then I’ll be right back.” He hurried past Mal in the direction River had taken, but stopped just short of disappearing down another of Serenity's narrow corridors. “ And please, don't go getting yourself thrown from anything while I’m gone.”


“Humans?!”

“Reavers?!”

“Aliens?!"

“Impossible!"

“Yes, aliens!” Twilight repeated over the din of the townsponies. “Please everypony, just listen!” the unicorn yelled in vain. The citizens of Ponyville had worked themselves into a fearful frenzy of disbelief and anger directed at nothing and nopony in particular, completely ignoring Twilight in the process.

Twilight heard Rainbow Dash sigh from behind her. With a small gust of wind, the pegasus thrust off into the air, hovering several feet above the town square. Dash inhaled a large gulp of air, then let loose.

Everypony be quiet! Twilight’s talking!

The town square become silent, all heads turning in shock to look first at the fearsome pegasus, then at the meek unicorn blushing bashfully below her.

“Uh, thanks Dash...”

“Not a problem!” said Rainbow Dash as she descended back to Twilight’s side.

“Now then, as I’ve told you all before, we have some, err, visitors! The mayor and I have already spoken to the humans, and they are definitely friendly. Odd, but friendly. Now, they’ll be here for a while, but they shouldn’t get in the way too much. I think. They need some help from my friends and I to go back to where they came, so please act nicely around them. Right now they’re stuck here, and they have no way of getting back to their home, so please, everypony, do whatever you can to make them comfortable while they’re here,” the unicorn finished.

“What about the Reavers?” came the voice of one mare from amongst the crowd.

“They don’t sound friendly!” another nervous stallion called out.

“Well, you’d be right,” Twilight replied hesitantly. “In fact, according the humans, they’re monsters... And they’ll be here in a few days.”

Instantly the crowd erupted into panicked shouting, adults and fillies alike babbling agitatedly amongst themselves. Repeated cries of “monsters?!” and “we’re doomed” made their way over the din to Twilight’s ears. Rarity and Applejack brought their hooves to their faces behind her. “Honestly Twilight,” Rarity chastised, “you could at least have used some measure of subtlety. Now Rainbow Dash shall have to calm them again.”

Rainbow sighed, rolling her eyes as Twilight smiled sheepishly. “On it...” And with another gust of wind, the pegasus resumed hovering over the townsponies. She inhaled deeply, enough so that her lung appeared to inflate like balloons inside her chest... And roared.

Twilight glanced back and forth as to her left, Fluttershy turned pale, her legs locking as she bleated and tumbled to the floor. To her right, she just managed to catch all but the bravest members of the crowd either cowering or leaping an average foot into the air as Rainbow Dash made her best impression of a wolf. She did a fairly good job of it, too.

All eyes turned from Rainbow to Twilight as she landed yet again, a stern expression on her face. Twilight cleared her throat. “Um, yes... So like I said, they are monsters, but you have nothing to be afraid of! Just so long as you all remain inside your houses wh- uh, if they ever come here. The humans have promised to take care of the Reavers and make sure that they don’t hurt anypony. You have nothing to worry about!” Twilight smiled at the crowd. The crowd didn’t smile back.

Mayor Mare stepped forward to take Twilight’s place in addressing the townsponies, the Unicorn turning to face her circle of friends. “Well, that’s that!” she announced. “All that’s left now is to help the humans find their stuff in the forest!”

Everypony save for Pinkie and Rainbow frowned at Twilight.

“Umm...” Fluttershy kicked a hoof hesitantly. “Are we sure they’re friendly? I mean, they seemed really tall and, uh, intimidating...”

“Yeah, an' even if they are frien’ly,” Applejack interjected, “how can we be sure that they can deal with a buncha monsters?”

“I’m with Applejack on this one,” Rainbow said. “I mean, none of them look like they have wings or magic! And I knocked that Captain guy down pretty easily!”

Twilight lowered averted her gaze in thought, before raising her head as an idea popped into it. “Well, why don’t we just go their ship and take a look? We can see what we can do to help them, and we can show Fluttershy that they’re nothing to be afraid of! Right, Pinkie?”

“Of course! Oh oh you’ll just love Kaylee! She’s reeeaally nice and friendly, even though half the stuff she says doesn’t make any sense at all! Pinkie exclaimed, bouncing circles around Fluttershy. “Let go there right now!”

Twilight smiled. “So who’s with me?”

“Well, this can only end well...” Rarity sighed, joining the others as they begun their way to the edge of town.


“I just don’t see why is has to be taken from my shuttle,” Inara frowned.

“Because we already took it from the other shuttle!” Wash explained. “We only take the secondary capacitor set, and the shuttle’s still flyable, at least. The systems’ll automatically shut down any secondary functions to make way for prioritising the main ones.”

Inara raised an eyebrow. “Define 'secondary functions.’”

“Oh, y’know, unimportant stuff. Flight stabilisation, Cortex access, atmosphere controls... Kaylee didn’t really get into the specifics of it all.”

“Well, let’s get this over with then,” sighed the Companion. She moved aside to allow Wash access to her shuttle room, where he unpocketed a screwdriver and moved to unscrew one of the few uncovered panels across from the door. The panel pulled away as the last screw came free into Wash’s hand, revealing a complex tapestry of wires and mechanical components. He pulled up on one set of wires, and signalled for Inara to come over. “See that panel there? Flick every switch down except for the rightmost, no- leftmost one.”

“Rightmost or leftmost, Wash?”

“...Leftmost. Definitely.”

Inara frowned, but did as Wash said, flipping all the breaker switches up save for the leftmost one. The lights went out, along with the glow of the terminal across the room, and the ambient hum of the shuttle.

“Leftmost one, hmm?”

“Actually, that was meant to happen. Kaylee said she’ll put together a quick fix for you later, until she has time to put everything back where it actually belongs. You, uh, might want to stand back for this next part,’ Wash warned, before pulling out two linked cylindrical components, each about a foot in length. Sparks flew and arced between the open panel but ceased as he pushed the set back against two perfectly shaped nodes built within the panel. It remained there for a few seconds, before Wash pulled it back out, sans the electricity.

“Well, that’s done, and nobody’s dead! I think we’re making progress.”

“I’m glad,” Inara smiled. “You get that to Kaylee, I’ll deal with this,” she said, pointing to the unscrewed panel.

“You sure? Okay... be careful though. Mal’d go nuts if he heard I let you get yourself electrocuted.”

“I’ll be fine. Besides, I doubt Mal would so much as shed a tear if that ended up happening.”

Wash raised an eyebrow, but left the shuttle with a smile, heading down the narrow corridors of Serenity. Kaylee was waiting for him at the entrance to the cargo bay.

“Got that capacitor set you wanted.”

“Wash, there’s knockin’ at the cargo door?”

“Knocking?” Wash handed Kaylee the capacitor, checking the light machine gun which he hadn’t yet taken off.

“Mm-hm. I thought it mighta been them ponyfolk, but it don’t hurt to be cautious.”

Wash walked over to the large metal cargo door, coming to a stop at the control panel. Hesitating just for a moment, he waved for Kaylee to stand by the stairs, and raised his gun as the door cycled open. Sure, the Reavers wouldn’t be here yet - and even if they were, Kaylee would’ve heard more than just knocking - but what if the ponies weren’t the only things out there? Heck, these things could teleport and fly into things with the force of a rocket, and they were four feet high walking bundles of joy!

But his fears were unfounded, as before him, on the soil at the foot of the cargo ramp, stood six brightly coloured ponies. Several of them he recognised from previously, but there were a couple of new arrivals. They all looked up at him with a mixture of expectation, surprise, confusion and, in the case of one pony, fear.

“Um. Hi there.”

Twilight stepped forward. “Hi, uh... Wash, right? Is it okay if we come in? We have some more friends we’d like you to meet!”

Wash turned to see Kaylee smiling crookedly at him, then turned back to the ponies. “Y’know, I’ll ask the Captain, and see what he says about it. Until then, all of you, stay here please.
Kaylee, look after them, okay? Shout if anything tries to kill you!” he added as he passed by her, on the way to... well, wherever Mal might be.

If I were Mal... Wash thought to himself, wondering where he’d be most often were he the Captain. What did Mal normally do, where did he normally go when he wasn’t shooting and punching things or being shot and punched?

...Infirmary.


The Forest was silent. The Forest was never silent. The bear came to a stop at a tree, turning to sniff at the bark. It’s eyes narrowed, and it sniffed again. The bear clawed at the tree, tearing four small gashes into the bark, revealing the tree’s pale underskin. The leaves on the tree rustled, then fell silent.

The bear sniffed the air again, then roared sadly, turning to slink away into the forest.

At the roots of the tree, where the bear had just been standing the undergrowth stirred. Two piercing blue-green eyes appeared amongst the leaves, and Zecora stood up, brushing the leaves and branches from her, and tossing aside the piece of bark she had used to conceal herself. Staring after the bear, she turned her gaze to the tree.

Flecks of blood painted the area immediately around the claw marks. Small droplets of red similarly and generously decorated the leaves covering the path the bear had taken. To say “there was a lot of it” would be an understatement. The mess was comparable to the Sugarcube Bakery after Pinkie Pie had got her hands on some of Zecora’s liquid fireworks, attempting to create a cake that “fizzled in your mouth and your stomach!” The floor had been coated in cake batter; the forest surface was similarly affected.

Zecora frowned. “Something terrible has hurt that bear,” she mumbled in the general direction of the tree. “Something feral. I’m afraid I feel that we are all in grave peril.”

Her musing were answered. Something carried on the wind, down from the mountains just barely reached her ears, causing them to flick as they caught the sound. It was guttural, it was angry, it was screaming.

And it was the most bone-chilling sound the fleeing Zecora had ever heard in her life.