> Eye of the Hurricane > by InsertAuthorHere > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Boiling Point > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Near the center of Ponyville sat the local weather patrol station, the tallest building in the whole town. Despite its impressive size, however, the inside was actually quite hollow; pretty much a necessity, considering the kind of ponies employed within. Within its imposing exterior flew a cadre of pegasi, all of them in charge of making sure Ponyville's weather systems came and went on schedule and in the right amounts, not to mention fighting back the Everfree Forest's own ideas of what Equestria needed. Not that it mattered much to one special employee. Raindrops, the yellow-coated, cobalt-maned Bearer of the Element of Honesty, came into work looking about as happy as she possibly could. Not that it was very evident, mind you; Raindrops' default expressions tended to be “stoic,” “very stoic,” and “has no idea what expression is.” Still, there were the subtle ways one could tell how she was really feeling inside, from a tiny spring in her step to the way she folded her wings. Needless to say, she was ecstatic. “Hey, Raindrops!” The mare was so trapped in her own little world of euphoria that she barely registered the pony landing right next to her. Cloud Kicker, second-in-command of the weather patrol and the one pony actually keeping the place running efficiently, only managed to get her attention after a tap along the shoulder. “Um...Raindrops, we need to talk.” “Is...this about my vacation?” Drops' voice was about as flat and deadpan as ever, but beneath it all there was just the slightest dash of excitement. “Well...yes.” Cloud Kicker...kicked at the ground nervously. “I-I have to tell you that...” “It's all approved, right?” Drops spun about mid-sentence, her eyes locking with her superior's in a way that made the violet pegasus rear up nervously. There was just so much hope and a lust for life just waiting to be crushed into a fine paste. “Can you believe this'll be our first family vacation in years? Mom and Dad have it all planned out down to the hour. And Snails...can you believe they have a gastropod museum right next to the beach? You could probably lock him in there the whole trip and he couldn't be happier.” Cloud Kicker took a couple steps away from the other side of this conversation. She knew the next part was going to be painful, both to Raindrops and possibly somepony's muzzle. “B-But we have to...” It was no use, however; Raindrops was officially lost to the limitless realms of her imagination. “Sprawling coastlines, sunny weather, hunky stal-” The mare's face blushed as she caught her slip. Fortunately for her, Cloud Kicker was too nervous to care. “W-Well, I'm sure this is going to be the best vacation of my entire life. Thanks for helping me...” “You didn't get it.” Raindrops' face froze mid-word, her ears twitching at the strange phrase she had just heard. “D-Didn't get what?” “The vacation days. They weren't filed in on time, so the head office had to...well, deny them.” Acting on pure reflex, Cloud Kicker stretched out her wings and looked around for any safe place to escape to. Outflying Raindrops was never that difficult, but when she set her mind on something, not even the Tyrant Sun herself could stop her rampage. It was just common sense. Raindrops didn't move right at first. Her lower lip started to tremble after a few seconds, but everything else remained completely frozen as if she had been chiseled from stone. The other ponies above, sensing that an explosion was evident, took to the ceiling as quickly as they could. There was no way Raindrops could kill them all, even if she wanted to. Break every bone in their bodies, perhaps, but not kill. “B-But how?” she squeaked, every inch of her strength already being drained to keep her from losing control. “I-I submitted them months ago! You helped me fill out the forms yourself!” “And...um...” Cloud Kicker shied her face away from Raindrops. She knew the next words were going to be very, very bad. “Look, I...gave the forms to Rainbow Dash to send in, but she...um...forgot to send them in. I-I'm so sorry!” Rainbow...Dash... Deep within Raindrops' metaphorical heart, something snapped, while her literal heart began to pump harder and faster. Something cold and mean began to course through her veins, darkening her features, extending her wings, and making her hooves tremble with white-hot fury. “Rainbow Dash...Rainbow Dash did this?!” The ponies above scrunched together even tighter than before, with more than a few simply flying out of the spire as quickly as possible to avoid the upcoming hurricane. Cloud Kicker's eyes wandered back and forth between the angered Raindrops and the door to Rainbow Dash's office. Unfortunately, the lights were still on, meaning she was in the room. And if she was... “Raindrops, I want you to listen to me,” she said quickly. “I want you to go home and take the day off. Relax a little, let yourself cool down. I'll try to figure something out, but until...” “No....” Raindrops growled. Her teeth were bared like a snarling Timberwolf, ready to rip into the first pony she came across. And unfortunately for her target, she knew exactly where she would be. “No more waiting. No more cooling off. I had to work through the trip to Cayo el Bayo because I her. I got written up for letting a storm through Ponyville because of her.” She spun about on her hooves with the speed of a dashing cheetah. Every inch of her body was primed and ready for the showdown to end all showdowns. A tiny portion of her brain still screamed for her to relax and take Cloud Kicker up on her offer, but her rage had escalated beyond the point of any self-control, even one as well-disciplined and tested as her own. To make the situation even more of a brilliantly-designed catastrophe, Rainbow Dash just so happened to pull the door open at that very moment, her head turned towards the office's interior. She had nary an idea that her demise was imminent. Sensing her opening, Raindrops let out a primal scream and charged. She raced forward about five steps before leaping into the air, her wings spread as wide as possible for the greatest possible drift. Rainbow Dash barely had enough time to process that something was coming at her before the two collided, sending both ponies rolling back into the office in a tumbleweed of limbs and feathers. The spectacle slid to a stop just as the two went crashing into a far wall, with Raindrops standing over her dazed and confused boss. “D-Drops? What the hay are you...?” “SHUT UP!” A tiny stream of spittle, not unlike that of a mad dog, escaped from Raindrops' lips as she looked down at her pinned prey. “You and I have a long...” “A-HEM!” Raindrops' head snapped about towards whatever pony had dared to interrupt Rainbow Dash's much-needed dressing down...and soon felt her rage being replaced with fear. Standing opposite her were a trio of ponies, all dressed in fine suits with slicked-back manes. Attached to their lapels were visitor badges, the kind that usually denoted somepony who was important, but not necessarily a member of the Night Court or nobility in general. In other words... “Um...Drops?” Rainbow Dash squeaked nervously. “I'd like you to meet the district supervisors...” ---------- My little pony, My little pony Ahh ahh ahh ahhh... My little pony Friendship never meant that much to me My little pony But you're all here and now I can see Stormy weather; Lots to share A musical bond; With love and care Teaching laughter; It's an easy feat, And magic makes it all complete! You have my little ponies How'd I ever make so many true friends? ---------- Raindrops' hooves slammed against the top of soda parlor's bar. “Hey, barkeep! Another Cider Surprise! And make it hard this time!” The soda jerk rolled his eyes and began mixing the ingredients together, keeping things out of view just in case this was all a brilliant ploy to discover the secret ingredient for the parlor's latest concoction. Despite it still being well before nine o'clock, the parlor had adopted a small adaptation to the rules. They now served the alcoholic versions an hour early for anypony who had just had to deal with Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, the Mayor, and a double shot if their problems had anything to do with Trixie. So far the last one had proven to be the most profitable by far. Once the abomination against the beverage world had been finished, the jerk plopped it onto the bar and sent it sliding down. Drops' hoof just barely managed to catch it before it could crash into the seven empty glasses to her side. With a partially drunken flourish, she stuck the straw into the glass and began sucking away. In an instant, she was struck with the combined flavors of alcohol, apples, and a strangely unidentifiable substance that she was probably better off not knowing anything about. It didn't matter, anyway; no matter how many she drank, she was still stuck in the same soda parlor, drinking the same cocktails, and just waiting for the day to finally relent and let her rest. “Oh, there you are, Raindrops!” And that wasn't going to happen today. Carrot Top, bearer of the Element of Generosity, trotted up to the counter and pulled herself a seat right next to the ailing pegasus. Her hooves and coat were still covered in a fresh layer of top soil and mud from the day's planting and chores, but such was the lot of the lowly farmer. Not that Drops really knew anything about that stuff. She was a weather pony by trade, and as such spent a lot more time floating above the ground than standing on it. Sensing that her friend was ignoring her, Carrot Top gave Raindrops a tiny nudge along the shoulder blades. All this did was make her teeter a little before stabilizing. “So, I...guess you don't want to talk about it?” “Nope.” Drops took another big sip, cursing the alcohol for not working fast enough. By this point, even Trixie would have been slipping into her Neigh Orleans accent and started hugging the whole group. Carrot Top sighed. “Look, I...I heard what happened. After all the stuff Dash put you through, I wouldn't blame you for snapping like that.” Raindrops turned her head and scoffed. “You're friends with Rainbow Dash, right? She tell you all this?” “W-Well, friends is a generous way of putting it.” Carrot rolled her eyes at all the memories of the madness her “friend” had gotten her roped into, from being clawed by weasels to getting trapped in a spa by a mad fashion designer. “But yes, she told me everything. She also said there was nothing she could do. She wasn't quite as polite when she said it, but I could tell what she meant.” “I can't believe I did that.” Raindrops shook her head slowly, her friend's words finally getting through to her. “After the whole mess with Gilda, I promised I would never lose my temper again. Trixie even helped me learn to take it one step at a time. But when she ruined my vacation...all because she was lazy...” Drops could feel something trying to flare up again inside, but the combination of her restored willpower and the alcohol served to simmer it to a light boil. “She deserves to be fired.” Carrot Top shook her head. “You know that won't happen.” Raindrops replied with yet another frustrated snort. Everypony who knew anything about Rainbow Dash also knew about her best friend, the mysterious hermit pony Fluttershy. And anypony who knew who Fluttershy was could tell you of her family connection. According to what she had gleaned from Carrot Top, the only reason she even got her job as weather manager was because Fluttershy's father wanted to turn her into a glorified foalsitter. And as much as she hated to admit it, Raindrops couldn't help but confess that Rainbow Dash had some skills when she actually got off her lazy flank and did something. In other words, she was competent and connected. In other words, untouchable. “And besides,” Carrot continued, “she told me all you have to do is attend anger management. Finish the course, and I'm sure they'll lift your suspension.” The rage heated to broiling temperatures. “Anger management... Don't they know I've already tried that?” Carrot Top tapped on the counter and ordered an orange soda float. Fortunately, that particular mixture didn't involve things that may have oozed out of a meteor, so it was in front her just in time for her epic rebuttal to Raindrops' indifference, an argument that would echo throughout the hallowed halls of Equestria for generations to come. So great was it that centuries from now, the Night Court would only speak of Carrot Top the Persuasive in hushed whispers, lest her spirit come to debate with them some more. “It couldn't hurt to try again.” Unfortunately, her skills were of no use against an opponent of such stubbornness as Raindrops. She suckled down the last remaining vestiges of liquid before turning back to the friend. Carrot Top's smile was about as broad as the bough of a ship, but nowhere near as watertight. “Look, I...know you mean well, but this isn't going to do anything. It's not just Rainbow Dash that's bugging me. It's...everything.” Carrot Top cocked her head. “What do you mean?” “For starters, look around you.” Carrot Top obliged, and for the first time noticed something significantly off about the current seating arrangement. For starters, not a single pony was seated within three chairs of them. Despite the parlor being as busy as ever this time of night, nopony seemed to want to be anywhere close to them. “I'm sure everypony else at headquarters already told them what happened. The whole town knows I'm always angry, just a few moments from snapping and breaking somepony. As far as anypony cares, I'm just the perpetually perturbed pegasus who just so happened to save the world a couple times. Even Trixie was terrified of me for a long time.” Sighing deeply, the mare looked into her big glass. “Sometimes, I just wish I could stop feeling like this, that ponies would have no reason to be scared to be around me. But I've already gone to counseling and psychiatrists and everything else. It never works.” A few beads of sweat worked their way down Carrot Top's brow. She had no idea things were anywhere near this bad; then again, Rainbow Dash was usually a poor judge of others' feelings, so there was no way to tell until she actually spoke to her friend. Normally, this would have been Ditzy's department, but she was already preoccupied with something Dinky was doing and couldn't make it over there. Still, she was Generosity, and the most generous thing a pony could give a friend was their time. Money didn't hurt either, but time was a bit more precious. Just a bit. “Drops, I'm not promising anything, but you have to give it a try. You need your job back, anyway. And perhaps this time it'll work out. The other groups you went to just might not have been the right ones for you. If you want, I can even tag along. Just promise me you'll give it one more try, okay?” Raindrops was silent for a moment, her brain weighing in on the pros and cons of her possible actions. If she went to the meeting, it would no doubt be a huge waste of her time. Even if she did rejoin the weather patrol, she'd still have the same lazy manager making her life miserable. But she couldn't lose her job... The yellow pegasus groaned and took another chug. “Alright, I'll give it a try. Meeting's tomrrow night at town hall.” ---------- The next night, the perpetually perturbed pony and her plucky sidekick ventured forth into Ponyville's town hall. Official business had already concluded for the day, save for the occasional pony trying to muscle out some overtime and/or trying to make up for Ivory Scroll's latest mishap, and thus the only group in attendance was the small Anger Management Session in one of the hall's small conference rooms. By the time the two arrived, there were already five ponies in attendance, all of them sitting in a circle of chairs and wearing faces that perfectly reflected their desire to not be there. And then there was the pony running the session. Or rather, the minotaur. Sitting at the head of the circle was an overly-muscled bull-like being, with razor-sharp horns and a ring through his nose. Any sort of intimidation he might have been going for was offset only by the silly tie he wore around his neck and the large clipboard in his claw-like upper arms. Raindrops had barely enough time to realize what has happening before the minotaur noticed her. “Ah, you must be our newest member,” he said in a half-growly voice. “Y-Yes, I'm...” Before Raindrops could get another word out, the minotaur had already risen to his two hooves and walked over, stopping but a hair's breath away from her. The pegasus smiled nervously and began to back away, but only managed to bump into Carrot Top, who shook her head at her friend's retreat. The group leader returned his eyes to the clipboard, flipping through pages and shaking his head. “Weather patrol sent you here, huh? Well, no matter. Iron Will's the name, training ponies is my game!” He finished his declaration with a sudden thumbs up to the two, who just looked at each other in utter confusion. Sensing that nopony was going to follow this up, Iron Will dropped his salute and grabbed Raindrops by the scruff of her neck. “Now that you're here, we can get this show on the road! Hey, everypony!” Drops tried to fight free, but to her horror the minotaur's strength exceeded even her own. Before she or Carrot Top could protest any further, Iron Will charged forward with the furious speed of a locomotive, plopping Raindrops' hind quarters into the nearest available seat before jumping right back into his own. The other ponies clapped their hooves together in a mixture of awe and amazement, while Drops settled for rubbing her bruised hiney. “Good evening! My name is Iron Will, and today is the first day of your new life!” The minotaur's voice echoed and boomed through the small room, his speech sounding less like a psychiatrist and more like a used wagon salespony. The others, having apparently heard the same speech before, rolled their eyes, but Raindrops just watched in a combination of stunned silence and general apathy. So far, things were still not exactly looking very promising. Too bad her poor attitude was not subtle enough to escape Iron Will's notice. “Now Raindrops, Iron Will knows you're only here by court order, but so are all of the other ponies here! Every one of us has done something out of anger at one point or another. And that's why we're here to get well!” “No!” shouted a burly, mussy-maned unicorn sitting across from Raindrops. The others instinctively pulled away from him, causing both Drops and Carrot Top no small measure of concern. “Everypony else here might be a bunch of psychopaths, but I'm trying to save Equestria!” Iron Will shook his head and snorted. “How many times does Iron Will have to tell you not to act up, Trajectory? We have a new member with us today. We don't need..” “Um...how are you going to save Equestria?” asked Carrot Top. No sooner had the words left her mouth than the entire room turned their eyes towards her dismissively, causing the mare no small amount of anxiety. “I-I mean, I was just wondering...” Trajectory gave a proud smile and crossed his forelegs. “You know those catapults we use to launch pumpkins every year? After everything that's happened the last two years, I decided to recalibrate one of them and use it to destroy Equestria's greatest enemy.” Raindrops' eyes doubled in size. There was no way he just said what she thought he just said. “Y-You mean...You're going to try and...” “That's right,” Trajectory boasted. “I am going to DESTROY THE SUN!” And with that, the moment was lost. Even the very air molecules in the room seemed to freeze from the sheer stupidity of what was just said. Raindrops' pupils shrank back to normal while she assumed her typical stoic expression, while Carrot Top hoofed herself in the face. “W-Wait, you mean you're the pony who's been launching things all over town? A safe crashed into my field last week!” “I almost got flattened by a piano during my morning jog two days ago!” Raindrops added. “Just some minor miscalculations,” said Trajectory. “After that cannonball went through the representative's window, I finally figured out how to enchant my ammunition to achieve the appropriate distance! Soon, that anvil will make contact with the sun itself!” He turned to the minotaur, half-mad with rage. “And I would have sent more if this monster hadn't told the mayor on me!” Iron Will, however, remained unimpressed. “Iron Will apologizes for that. Trajectory was a client at Iron Will's Assertiveness Seminar, and...he took my lesson to heart. Now, how about we skip introductions for the moment and work on some self-control techniques? Let's start with deep breathing...” To be honest, Raindrops simply tuned out the rest of the lesson. She already knew this technique by heart; indeed, it had saved her from more than a couple outbursts in the past. But that hadn't stopped her from punching out Trixie, or fighting Gilda, or exploding at Rainbow Dash. By the time Iron Will had begun handing out stress balls (for two bits a piece), she knew exactly how this night would go... ---------- “What a bucking waste of time!” Raindrops growled as she and Carrot Top stepped out of town hall. The rest of the group had already left, with the two newcomers holding up the rear so the complaining could occur out of earshot of Iron Will. “Breathing techniques? Stress balls? Next he'll be telling me to buck a pillow!” “B-But those could help,” Carrot Top said sheepishly. “And besides, now you're a step closer to getting back to work. Isn't that worth it?” “For that job? No way.” Raindrops shook her head, her back still turned to her friend. “Look, I...I'm glad you came with me, but I...I want some time alone for a minute. I'll see you tomorrow.” Carrot Top opened her mouth to protest, but no noise dared to emerge. Despite her desire to stand up for her friend, that accursed weak little part of her brain quickly knocked her willpower back down to its usual levels, and she just as quickly acquiesced and began to trot back to her home. Once she was gone, Raindrops fell back on her haunches and extended her wings limply. “Why am I so surprised?” she said to nopony in particular. “Better ponies have tried to help me get over this, and it's never been enough.” Her head gradually drifted upwards towards Luna's beautiful night sky. So far, the dancing stars overhead were the only highlights of her entire day. She still had no job, and no recourse against Rainbow Dash's baffling laziness. Her friends could all offer her the usual platitudes, but nothing that would actually get to the root of the problem. And now she was stuck attending meetings led by a money-grubbing minotaur and with a legitimately insane pony who wanted to destroy the sun itself. Granted, Trixie herself said that Luna got about a thousand petitions a day asking for the same thing, but at least she didn't have to get locked with them in a tiny room. And besides, she never beat somepony until he had to walk with a limp for the rest of his life. And stress balls? That stupid minotaur thinks those help? Snails gets me one of those every time I lose my temper, and... Her eyes opened wider than ever. “Snails...” Her brother still didn't know what happened; he had enough problems in his own life without worrying about his sister. If anything, she could... And then she turned her head just enough to catch the hall's bulletin board. There, attached right between a notice for a Farmers Union meeting and a posting for a magic tutor, was a small, unassuming piece of white paper. It wasn't the size that mattered, however, but how you used it. And written on this little sheet was something that make Raindrops' eyes pop open with new hope... ---------- Morning crept up on Snails with all the sneakiness of a cat burglar. The colt struggled under his bed covers as the first rays of light pierced his window and cast its unforgiving glare across his tiny bedroom. In any other house, this would have been considered a slightly large broom closet, but considering the size of the house, he actually got one of the best rooms out there. Granted, his bed took up about three-quarters of it, but hey, at least he got a window. That was more than Raindrops could attest to. Gradually, however, his desire to remain asleep was defeated by a fear of being late to school, and he pushed himself up... ”MORNING!” And immediately jumped half out of his skin at the sight waiting for him. Standing with both front hooves on his bed was his big sister, looking just as awesome as ever. But even to his young eyes, he could see that something was...off about her. There was no moisture on her hooves, despite her usually going for some morning workouts. Her mane and coat were already perfectly cleaned and brushed, something she could only manage after a few prods from their parents. And then there was the biggest problem of all. She was smiling. Not just a little smile, but a great, big, look-at-how-clean-my-teeth-are smile. To make things worse, she started giggling at the sight of her confused brother. “And how are you this fine morning?!” “Um...uh...fine?” Snails stammered out. “D-Did something happen?” “You bet something happened!” Raindrops punctuated the expression with a slam of her hooves against the ground, causing the entire room to shake and send the colt bouncing again. “But enough for now! I'll tell you everything at breakfast! So let's get moving downstairs before we run out of waffles!” And with that, the mare bounded out of the room, bouncing like she was on the highest of all sugar highs. Snails simply watched in confusion, his brain already trying to rattle out what could have caused such a dramatic twist in his sister's behavior. Wow, she must have gotten some really good vacation time! Oh, and waffles! Nopony can say no to that! No wonder she's so happy! Having solved this mystery, the colt jumped to the ground and cantered off to join the rest of his family for breakfast, pushing his sister's odd behavior to the very back of his mind. After all, if Raindrops was happy, then nothing could possibly be wrong... > Unexpected Joyfulness > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Raindrops stepped out through the door and into the start of a beautiful new existence. The crisp morning air filled her lungs, spreading a new sense of life through every inch of her body. The burning flames of anger that had roasted her very spirit for so long had finally died out, replaced by a newly-formed hunger for everything that Equestria had to offer. She could just stand in this spot all day and be perfectly content. “Um, Rainy? I need to get to school, and...you're blocking the door.” Hearing her brother's voice, Raindrops kindly stepped to the side and allowed him safe passage to his class. Snails rolled his eyes a bit at his sister's odd behavior, but then remembered where he had to go and darted off for another glorious day of fun and learning. Their parents were already busy with their own daily activities, leaving Raindrops alone to finish her task. First stop, Bon-Bon's Confectionarium... ---------- Bon-Bon raced frantically from one shelf to the next, her mouth sealed around a large tray filled with all manner of suckers. With all the speed of a trained candy master, she slid one batch into a display bucket of watermelon sticks, another into a paper tube for the day's special, and finally the last of them back onto the rack for later use. The entire shop was filled with a mixture of a hundred different aromas, ranging from chocolates and cherries to rainbows and loganberries, and all held together by the distinct taste of sugar. Lots and lots of sugar. Still, such was the plight of the candy store owner, especially when she had to do so much on her own. Business was especially good this time of year, with orders coming in from all over Ponyville and even a few towns beyond. After the mess a few months ago, everypony was eager to order their sweets from the marefriend of a national hero. Of course, the advertising campaign certainly didn't hurt, and as long as Lyra didn't know what was going on, Bon-Bon could keep things going indefinitely. They certainly needed the bits; she loved Lyra's music, but the fact was that it wasn't really bringing in the dough. She had just finished setting up another display of freshly-delivered Rainbow Bars when she heard a knock at the door. At first, the mare looked at the nearby clock, noting how early it was for anypony to arrive. Her busiest hours were usually right after school got out, save for holidays and special events. But then she actually bothered to look out the window, and upon recognizing the blonde-maned pegasus on the other end, set her tray aside, leaped over the counter, and threw the door open. “You know, you're really early today,” she said in a mixture of joy and tempered frustration. Ditzy Doo grinned and stepped inside, closing the door behind her with one hind leg. “Sorry, but I just wanted to make sure I wasn't late. I really have to thank you for letting me help you with this.” Bon-Bon smiled and nodded. “It's no problem at all. Normally, I have Lyra run these deliveries, but she's been...well...” Ditzy's eyes briefly crossed back into alignment in shock. She knew her euphemisms well enough to tell what direction this conversation was headed in, and it was only by divine providence that Trixie wasn't there to freak out and start belting out another rousing bout of the “La-La-La-La Symphony” or something like that. “Y-You mean she's i-” “She's waited too long before filling out some paperwork for an upcoming performance. By the time she actually got up and started doing her job, it was already well past due.” Bon-Bon shook her head. “Sometimes, I worry about that mare of mine.” “Oh...yes, of course,” Ditzy said, her voice half-hushed and painfully wistful. “Say, where is she anyway? Still sleeping?” “Mpph...nargh...” Both ponies turned their heads towards the mysterious voice. Standing next to them was Lyra, her eyes half-closed and bloodshot, her jaw hanging open, and her mane a frazzled mess. If the ponies didn't know any better, they would have run out screaming about the oncoming zombie pony invasion. “Hon, what are you doing out of bed? I said you could sleep in today.” “...Huh?” Lyra shook her head vigorously, trying desperately to fight off the sleep demons compelling her back to slumberland. “No...I...have so much to do...just need a little caffeine, and I'll...” Her half-dead eyes turned to Ditzy, who grinned back at her nervously. “And what's going on with you? You're real early.” “Um...yes, I am.” Ditzy's level of discomfort in this conversation was rising radically with every second; any more, and it would be reaching “Inviting the Tyrant Sun to tea” levels. “They said I worked too many days in a row at the post office, so they're making me take today off, that's all. I was going to run some basket deliveries for Bon-Bon.” She nudged towards the other pony in the room, who responded with an equally forced smile. “I didn't mean to wake you up.” “Eh, I would have woken up anyway,” Lyra mumbled as she walked around the counter to her marefriend's side. “And I could have done the de-” She paused to let out a yawn, her mouth enlarging to the size of a small grapefruit in the process. “Deliveries all by myself...” A few lip smacks followed, accompanied by the mare's head tilting downwards just enough to mask her relentless sleeplessness. “No need to...” Ditzy shook her head and smiled. “You really need to get back to bed.” Her light admonishing done for the day, she turned back to Bon-Bon. “By the way, did you finish that basket for Raindrops? I wanted to swing by her house this afternoon and drop it off.” “Of course.” The candied mare of candy bent her head beneath the counter, rustled about with something down there, and finally pulled herself back up with a wicker basket wedged in her mouth. Beneath the cellophane wrap was a small collection of various candies, from rainbow bars to salt sticks to taffy ropes, and all of them known treats Raindrops was known to enjoy. Attached to the front was a small card with its recipient's name spelled out along with an attached message. “I think you should get this to her first, while she's still feeling good. I know what it's like to deal with ponies in the middle of long spurts of unemployment.” Ditzy smiled and nodded, as did Lyra, the latter seemingly unaware at the jab against her. “I just hope she's all right. Something like what happened yesterday must have been a real bad shock. For all we know she's just lying in bed, unmoving, unwilling to face this cruel, harsh world...” "HELLO!” All three ponies leaped into the air at the piercing cry of the newest intruder. Standing at the doorway was Raindrops herself, her face beaming with all the intensity of a full moon against a starry sky. To everypony's shock and horror, there was not even the slightest hint of depression on her form, save perhaps for this being the end result of a massive sugar binge. Ditzy simply stood next to the counter, jaw slightly agape at the sight, while Lyra ducked behind a surprised Bon-Bon just in case this nightmare ended with the arrival of the Tziimin once again. “Um...hello, Raindrops,” Bon-Bon said, her voice slow and low as not to agitate the slowly advancing pony. “H-How are you today?” Raindrops took in a big gust of air, her nostrils filling with the wonderfully intricate mixture of smells and odors that permeated through every inch of this little candy store. Even when she exhaled a moment later, her smile had not wandered so much as an inch. Her eyes, on the other hoof, scanned across every single item on display, from the most basic candy bar to elaborate boxes of gumdrops and premium chocolates. “I need to buy a gift basket! The biggest, best one you have!” Bon-Bon's eyes shifted back and forth between the room's other two sane occupants, but neither pony could offer more than a shrug to continue. “I...I have one basket that can hold up to fifty items or so. Everything inside is sold at a 50% discount, so...” The first answer came in the form of a large pouch slamming onto the countertop. The impact loosened the drawstrings, sending the tip of a princess' ransom worth of bits clinging against the polished surface. Ditzy and Bon-Bon recoiled in surprise at the sheer number of coins on display, but Raindrops seemed to pay their gazes no heed. “I'll take it! I'll even pay for the wrapping! Make sure you use the rainbow colored paper!” “I...will...” Bon-Bon very slowly started walking to the back, Lyra stumbling about behind her in case of danger. Once they were out of earshot, Ditzy turned her attention away from the bits and back to Raindrops. “Rainy...are you all right?” Raindrops huffed and pounded a hoof against her chest. “Of course I'm all right! In fact, I've never been better!” “But you just got suspended from your job.” Ditzy pointed a hoof at the coins. “Do you really think you should be spending your money like this? You really need to be more careful. You never know when an emergency will pop up.” Raindrops rolled her eyes and giggled, sending yet another shiver running down the mailmare's spine. She had seen Raindrops laugh before, albeit only occasionally, but never giggle, and especially not like a little schoolfoal. “It's all right, Ditzy! This is more important than any savings account!” “Important...than...” Ditzy shook her head vigorously, trying to push back her life of hard knocks and approach this whippersnapper on her own level. “Raindrops, you can't throw your money away like this! What'll happen if there's an emergency? Or if you don't get your job back and can't find another one? I've been broke before, and it's never fun.” Raindrops slowly turned her head about, locking eyes with the mailmare as best she could. Ditzy opened her mouth to further add to the conversation, but the words died in her throat as she got a good, long look at her compatriot's massive smile. “There's nothing to worry about. I know exactly what I'm doing.” Before this wonderfully productive conversation could progress any further, Bon-Bon finally emerged from the backroom. On her back was a massive wicker basket, packed to the brim with everything from oranges covered in white chocolate to raspberry-covered ants, with the whole thing covered by a brightly-shining, rainbow-colored piece of cellophane wrapping paper. With a grunt and a groan, Bon-Bon bumped the basket onto the countertop, sending the coins rattling about from the impact. “There you go. That'll be...” Raindrops raised a hoof and shook her head. “No need to tell me. Take every last bit in that bag. I know I don't need them anymore.” “B-But there has to be over a hundred bits here!” “Then that's what the price is!” Before anypony could say anything else, Raindrops grabbed the basket's handle in her mouth and darted away, skipping about like she was as free as any daughter. Nopony dared raise a hoof to stop her, lest they twist some muscle in their own body forcing their rigid forms to actually perform some sort of physical activity. It wasn't until one of the displaced coins finally rolled over the counter and clanged against the floor that Lyra finally spoke. “So...that wasn't just a nightmare, was it?” ---------- Carrot Top smiled and hummed as she wandered through her fields of bounty. The tops of the carrots poked precariously through the topsoil, threatening to trip anypony foolish enough to wander close to them, while several more were already bundled up and put on the cart for the afternoon market. And with no griffons or irresponsible weather managers to ruin this load, there was nothing standing in the way of Top and her money short of an invasion of giant, carrot-devouring beetles. And that only happened once. Besides, that left plenty of time in the morning for her other big task: her meeting with Trixie about that accursed petition the Union had sent for approval. “Hey, Carrot Top! Have you seen Rainbow Dash anywhere?!” Carrot Top shrieked and jumped back as Raindrops' head popped into view from above. The pegasus mare was hovering overhead, a large basket full of candy perched in her hooves. “Raindrops! What are you...?” That was the precious moment where she caught what was seriously wrong with this picture. Raindrops was not only smiling, but giving the biggest, toothiest, most in-your-face smile imaginable. It was the kind of grin Pinkie Pie would give after downing an entire warehouse full of sugar, bathing in a vat of cola, and finally swallowing a thousand breath mints within five minutes of each other. “A-Are you okay?” “What do you mean? I've never felt better in my life!” As if to back up her words, the mare flipped her backside downward, twisting about in midair so that she landed on her hooves. The basket momentarily spun about in the air before the pegasus reared up just slightly, caught it in her teeth, and finally set it down peacefully. “But seriously, have you seen Rainbow Dash? I really need to talk to her!” Carrot Top stared ahead blankly for a few seconds, the nerves on her forehead popping up just slightly under her coat. “W-Well...I think she likes to take naps over by the town hall. At least, that's what she does when there's nothing going on, and there's not supposed to be any rain according to the schedule or anything.” Her eyes shifted to the basket. “And what's up with all the candy? I don't remember us paying for that much.” “Well, duh! Of course you didn't pay for it!” Raindrops reached one of her forelegs over and pulled the basket closer to herself, hugging it like a foal would a teddy bear. “This is my present for Rainbow Dash.” “Present?” Carrot Top cocked her head to the left in hopes of jostling her brain enough to kick it back into gear. “But...didn't she cost you your vacation and help get you suspended?” To the farmer's eternal befuddlement, Raindrops did two things she never thought she would see her friend do: blow a raspberry and wave a hoof dismissively. “All water under the bridge. Besides, if all that hadn't happened, I would still be the same miserable pony I always was! Thanks to her and that anger management meeting, I have a new lease on life, a new attitude towards the world, and...” She paused to take in a big, deep breath. “Can't you just smell that morning air? Wonderful, isn't it?” “Um...sure?” Carrot Top mumbled, scratching the back of her crest with one fetlock as she did so. “Look...I have to ask something, and please don't take this the wrong way, but...did something happen after I left last night? Because you were very, very upset after the meeting, and...” Raindrops sighed and rolled her eyes at her friend's query. “Just the best thing ever! And it wouldn't have happened if you hadn't talked me into going into anger management!” The mare suddenly hopped forward, wrapping Carrot Top in a bear hug and pulling her in tightly. The farmpony gasped and weezed as she struggled to pull herself free, but it was to no avail; her friend's mighty muscles were just too much for her. “Have I ever told you how awesome you are? I mean, all our friends are really cool, but you're the only one I know who would really stick her neck out like that! Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!” “H-Happy to...help...” the mare croaked. She could feel her spine threatening to give just as Raindrops finally released her. The pegasus gave a final wave, grabbed the basket with her mouth, and flew off towards the town hall, leaving only a very confused, very bruised farmer in her wake. ---------- Rainbow Dash knew one thing: there was nothing quite like a quick nap on a pleasant day. The cloud beneath her was as comfortable as any mattress, especially after she had sculpted it into the perfect shape for her body. She still had an hour or two before noon, the work on her desk was nothing Cloud Kicker couldn't handle, and there were no changes in the weather for today, or at least nothing that concerned her. Fluttershy wasn't going out, it wasn't the right day for the spa, and Ponyville wasn't being destroyed for once. The mare yawned and stretched out her limbs, finally settling on just letting her forelegs flop over the sides of the cloud as she drifted off to dream land. After all, she was the Captain of the Wonderbolts, had just knocked out the Tyrant Sun in a single buck, and had to stop Tirek from crushing Equestria with a meteor. A superhero's work was never done... “Hel~lo, Rainbow Dash!” Rainbow Dash bolted back into consciousness so quickly that she almost took out the entire cloud layer with her. Standing next to her was Raindrops, her deposed worker, smiling like she was higher than a cloud and carting along a gigantic basket of candy. The two ponies stared at each other in total silence, Dash unable to comprehend the situation and Raindrops just doing her very best Pinkie Pie impersonation. Finally, the weather manager broke the tension. “What are you doing, Drops? Haven't you finished that stupid anger management thing yet?” Raindrops shook her head. “No need! I'm already happier than ever!” Rainbow Dash's eyes drooped, her lips turning into a snarl as she regarded the treats before her. “Look, I didn't like suspending you, but this is out of my hooves. I've got enough ponies breathing down my mane without playing favorites, and trying to buy your way out of this isn't going to help.” She cocked her head just slightly. “Then again...could you pass me one of those Rainbow bars?” Raindrops nodded, tore a hoof through the cellophane, and pulled out one of the wrapped, rainbow-colored candy bars. No sooner had the sweet passed owners than the wrapping was pulled off, revealing the delicacy hidden within. Rainbow Dash's mouth watered as she looked over the treat, its colors matching her mane and tail perfectly. “Okay, what's the occasion? You know I can't give you your job back just for a bunch of chocolates.” “Of course you can't!” Raindrops said, puffing her chest out as she did so. “You had to do your job, after all.” “Tell me about it,” Dash muttered to nopony in particular. “I mean, it's all 'Do this, do that, don't be late this time.' I work hard, you know! Just because a bunch of ponies think I didn't earn this job doesn't mean I have to keep proving myself!” She took a bite of the candy bar just as Raindrops plopped down on her flank, still grinning all the while. “Of course you work hard. Why else do you have to take so many naps?” Rainbow Dash nodded in response, her own lips curled from the sugar rushing through her. “I know I sometimes complained about having to do all your work and my own while you slept, but looking back, I can't say why?” The grin grew as she cocked her head. “Yes, we've had a lot of fights, but I want to get past that, you know? Like when I got mad at you when your friend visited? You didn't mean to cause that much damage, after all, and it wasn't your fault I lost my temper!” Even larger. “And who could forget that time you convinced us to let that storm tear through Ponyville? Sure, we all got written up for that, my pay was still being garnished when I got suspended, and you made a mess of the whole town just so you could spend time with your friends, but that's no problem whatsoever.” And again, the smile grew, threatening to consume her entire face. “And I'm so sorry I assaulted you when you cost me my vacation! I know it was wrong and terrible of me to do such a thing, and I apologize. That's why I brought you this lovely little basket! I just wanted to show you how much I really appreciate what you do....and how I really feel about you...” Rainbow Dash's entire mouth froze mid-chew, her cheeks puffed up like a squirrel. Raindrops continued to stare at her, her teeth barred like something out of a horror story. There was something horribly wrong with her, that much was certain. Nopony ever acted this nonchalant, especially to the pony who had just cost them their livelihood. If Rainbow Dash lost her job, she wouldn't buy them candy and try to smooth things over, unless... That was when she noticed an odd taste in the rainbow bar, a flavoring that wasn't normal for this brand of candy. Almonds. The pegasus let out a world-shattering screech and darted off into the air, letting the candy bar fall through the clouds and slam into the unforgiving earth below. Raindrops climbed back to her hooves, her smile just barely shrinking as she closed her eyes and tilted her neck just slightly. “I thought she liked almond bars.” She shrugged. “Oh well, I guess I'd better leave this in her office.” ---------- “So...what happened with Raindrops, exactly?” Lyra rolled her eyes as Trixie leaned forward in her chair. Pokey Pierce was out of the office, running some paperwork between the various local offices of...whatever it was Trixie didn't want to bother herself with. Bon-Bon was back at the shop, tending to her customers in a desperate quest to repress her memories of this morning. That left only Lyra and Ditzy to let the government know of the impending doom that no doubt faced all of Equestria. And now they were facing the Representative of the Night Court herself, Trixie Lulamoon, personal student to Princess Luna, and Bearer of the Element of Magic. “I'm telling you, something is very wrong with her,” Lyra said. “She came into the store, bought the most expensive gift basket Bon-Bon sells, and then didn't even bother to take her change! And she was smiling the whole time!” Trixie shrugged. “So? Last I checked, there wasn't a law against being happy.” “But she just got suspended,” Ditzy added. “She shouldn't be throwing away her money like this.” Her eyes narrowed. “And this wasn't just a regular smile. We're talking about a panther about to dig into its dinner kind of thing.” Lyre looked about the office, as if afraid somepony else might be listening in. Once she was certain they weren't being spied on, she leaned forward and placed her forehooves on Trixie's desk. “Bon-Bon thinks she might be doing drugs. I know, it's stupid to even think about, but...having your mood change this quickly isn't really possible.” Trixie sighed and rose to her hooves, walking around the desk as she levitated her cape and hat back on. “Lyra, Ditzy, don't you think you're jumping off the deep end here? She just started anger management, remember? Maybe it's sticking this time.” “B-But changing this quickly?” Ditzy shook her head. “I'm sorry, but...I can't see that happening.” Trixie smiled, preparing herself to speak down to the masses yet again. “There was a baron in the Night Court who used to be addicted to chewing gum. I mean he would smack his lips around every minute of the night. Then one day, he decided to quit. Just went cold turkey. All of the sudden, he couldn't shut up about how awesome it was to not be chewing the same gum for hours on end, how much of our lives were being wasted on drinking and the like, and couldn't even get through a simple meeting without praising himself. Puissance finally had him banished from the Night Court just to have some peace and quiet.” She tilted her hat back, eyes closed and lips curled upward. “Raindrops is probably just going through the same thing. She's finally gotten over her anger problems, so she needs to work at finding a proper emotional balance. What we need to do is just be supportive. That way, she doesn't end up like...” The conversation would have continued from that point had the door not suddenly sprung open. Everypony's attention turned to the entryway, but saw nothing...until they looked down just slightly. Carrot Top was slumped on the floor, slowly pulling herself into the room. “H-Hello...Sorry I'm late.” All three ponies galloped over to the downed mare, doing their best to pull her back to her hooves. After a few mismanaged lifts and holds, they finally settled on Lyra and Ditzy carrying Carrot by the forelegs on their backs while Trixie looked on in confusion. “What in Equestria happened to you?” “R-Raindrops,” the mare coughed. “She came looking for Rainbow Dash...grabbed me in a big hug...” She grimaced as a fresh wave of pain coursed through her body. “She...doesn't know her own strength right now...” Trixie reared up and galloped back to her desk, levitating open one of the drawers and pulling out a small bottle of painkillers. Before anypony could blink, she was right back to the group, shoving two of the pills down Carrot Top's throat. “Pierce uses these when he oversharpens his horn. They're supposed to work miracles.” Sure enough, they did. Carrot Top's entire body loosened, allowing her to finally stand on her own hooves again, albeit shakily and with no small amount of discomfort. “Th-Thanks...but we really need to find out what's...” “We're on it already,” Ditzy said, giving her friend a comforting pat on the uninjured part of her back. “Come on, we need to find out what happened last night before anything else goes wrong.” The four ponies nodded in unison and began to walk out...all save for Lyra, whose attention was focused on Trixie. The blue unicorn had made it just five steps before she turned to the musician, her eyebrow raised in confusion. “What's wrong?” “Oh, nothing.” Lyra rolled her eyes and smiled. “I was just wondering how many bad habits you kicked just before you came to Ponyville.” Fortunately, she had the good sense to flee before Trixie could lob anything heavy. And thus the chase was ahoof... > The Storm Blows In > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Are you sure splitting us up was the best idea?” Trixie glanced over at Ditzy with an expression composed of 70% exasperation, 25% bewilderment, and 5% contempt. “Like I said, we can cover more ground this way. It's a lot harder to track a pegasus than it is a unicorn or earth pony, and with the mood she's in, she could be anywhere in town.” Ditzy sighed and closed her eyes. “I understand that. It's just...why are we just sitting here?” The mare swept her hoof across the horizon, bringing Trixie's attention back to the buildings and ponies around them. The two were seated at one of the many small cafés that dotted Ponyville, a steaming teacup in front of Ditzy and a blueish-gray concoction chilling next to Trixie. The small restaurant overlooked Ponyville's main marketplace, now in its busiest hours, with ponies swarming from all over to gather their grocieries and foodstuffs in the last hour before noon. Even the nearby staff were getting into the swing of things, setting up poles and rolling out the awnings lest the Tyrant Sun snatch up their customers before they could pay their checks. “It's simplicity itself, my dear mailpony friend,” Trixie said, tipping her cap back and rolling the last few words for good measure. All this did was earn another frustrated grunt from Ditzy. “At some point during the day – unless she's suddenly developed photosynthesis on top of everything else – Raindrops will need to eat.” She pointed a hoof at the nearby celery stand. “As it so happens, one of her favorite snacks is celery sticks dipped in peanut butter. And her favorite celery stalks just happen to come from that stand.” Her hooves returned to the table, along with that triumphant grin of hers. “Therefore, all we have to do is sit in this spot and wait for her to come to us. No running around or prowling the streets for a pony we might never find.” Ditzy tried to form an appropriate counterargument, but the combined laziness and tiny shreds of common sense in Trixie's planning had successfully frazzled her brain into total compliance. All she could do was nod her head and pray that Lyra and Carrot Top were having better luck.... ---------- Lyra sighed as she wandered along the nearly-empty streets of Ponyville. It was already getting dangerously close to noon, and there was no sign of Raindrops anywhere. Sure, there was probably no danger in standing under the sun that time of day; plenty of rowdy youths had done it before in her lifetime. But she bore the Element of Loyalty, and thus had a grave responsibility to Equestria to remain alive and unroasted for as long as equinely possible. In any case, she had to stop soon and take a break. Fortunately for her, Sugar Cube Corner was just across the street, beckoning with the sweet aroma of strawberry cupcakes and freshly-baked muffins. “Well...I suppose I should at least see if she's been here,” she wondered to herself as she stepped over the threshold and into the sweets shop itself. And that was when she saw the impossible. Laying on a heap in the center of the shop was Pinkie Pie, the overly-excitable pink pony with a love for parties and breaking-and-entering. The same pony who had tried to steal her lyre to stop a Parasprite invasion, the same pony who had once devoured an entire platter of cupcakes in a single gulp, was now a sobbing, broken wreck. She made no attempt to even acknowledge Lyra's frantic approach. “Pinkie Pie, what happened?!” Pinkie looked up just slightly, her eyes stained red from her tears. “I-I-IT WAS HORRIBLE!” Lyra froze at the sound of the scream. It was like a small foal who had just had her favorite toy taken away and crushed by a manticore. Oh, why can't Ditzy ever be here for these things? The mare took a deep breath and knelt next to the downed party planner. “Okay, tell me everything that happened.” “R-Raindrops came in, and...and she was smiling!” Pinkie gasped and chocked back a few more tears. “She was so happy, and...and I never saw her happy before! I always tried to make her smile and laugh at my parties, but she never did! Sh-She was even bouncing like I do! I thought my parties had finally worked and got her stop being a grumpy gus! And...And she asked for some muffins, so...so I got them – ones I even made – and...” “And...what?” Pinkie let out a piercing wail. “And then she said they were better than the ones I usually make!” The mare resumed crying, turning her head away from Lyra in shame. The unicorn twisted her eyes and scratched at the side of her head, searching desperately for the switch that would make Pinkie's warbled cries understandable to her meager non-sugary brain. “Isn't that a good thing?” “I thought it was,” Pinkie said, her voice raspy as she climbed to her hooves. Lyra quickly followed suit, not willing to be the one on the floor next to a broken Pinkie. “So I asked her what was better. And...And she said it was so much nicer than those stale blueberry ones I gave Ditzy Doo two weeks ago! She said...She said they tasted like I had rolled them in fertilizer and...and that they were harder than a rock!” Lyra cocked her head. “Wait...Raindrops said that?” Pinkie nodded, her sobs gradually reducing to a few whimpers and moans. “But that's not all! When she was done, I-I told her that was a mean thing to say. And she...she said that she was just being helpful! That if she wanted to be mean, she would have told me th-that everypony thinks I'm annoying an-and don't really want to be friends with me a-a-and only use me for my parties!” The cries increased in volume once again, barely giving Lyra enough warning before Pinkie thrusted herself onto her body. Lyra let out a small yelp in surprise, but made no attempt to push the distraught pony away. “A-And then she said I'm still annoying a-and a thief...and I needed to get help like she did! I don't want to get help like she did! If help turns ponies into her, th-then I DON'T NEED ANY!” Lyra stood perfectly rigid for several seconds, her little mind scraping what resources it had to analyze the situation. Raindrops would get annoyed by Pinkie Pie...but she'd never say something like this. And at the shop, she wasn't willing to listen to Ditzy or Bon-Bon when they said she couldnt' afford the basket. Perhaps that's what...whatever happened to her does. It removes some part of her self-control, like she's losing her inhibitions as she gets happier. I need to... And then her eyes drifted downward, catching with what little she could see of Pinkie Pie's face beneath her puffy mane. The pony's eyes were stained red from tears, bringing an uncomfortable warmth to Lyra's chest. The musician shuddered just slightly as she finally laid witness to the despair that now poured out of Pinkie Pie's very heart. Not once had she seen a pony like her truly broken down; even their encounter during the Parasprite incident was more like a discussion than a comfort session. Lyra's gaze shifted upwards, towards the rest of the store. She could already see a few ponies approaching, no doubt seeking shelter from the sun with a tasty treat. “Pinkie...are the Cakes here?” Pinkie shook her head, rubbing Lyra's fur with even more of her tears. “Nuh-uh. Mrs. Cake wasn't feeling well, so she and Mr. Cake went to the doctor. They won't be back for another hour or so...” Just wonderful. Raindrops is still missing, and... Lyra gave her head a good shake and took a step away from Pinkie Pie, grabbing her in her hooves as soon as she was at the appropriate distance. “Pinkie...I want you to go to the backroom for a little while, at least until the Cakes get here. I'll keep an eye on things down here.” Pinkie Pie's head slowly arced upward, her lips quivering with disbelief. “B-But I have to watch the store! I don't want them to be angry with me.” “They won't. I'll explain everything once they get here. But you need to take care of yourself. What Raindrops did...was terrible, but you need to calm yourself down. If she had said the same things about me, I don't think I would have acted any differently from you. Now, as a friend, please let me help.” Pinkie Pie's sobs ceased almost instantly. Her face twisted briefly in confusion, but just as quickly snapped into her usual mirthful smile. “Y-You mean that? We're friends?” Lyra smiled and nodded. “Of course we are. And don't let anypony else tell you differently.” The party pony leaned back just a step, and then sprang forward onto Lyra like a pouncing frog. This time, though, the hug was not out of pain or suffering, but from the joy of acceptance and the magic of friendship. Lyra returned the gesture without hesitation, even as the first curious customers wandered in for their noontime scones and sundaes. Pinkie Pie gave a final, smiling nod before darting through the back and clopping up the stairs to her room above the bakery. Once she was sure Pinkie Pie was going to be all right, Lyra trotted to the other side of the counter, tossed on a nearby apron, and stepped up to the counter. “Welcome to Sugar Cube Corner! How can I help you today?” The first pony, a pink mare with a dark green mane and tail, stepped up. “Um...hello. I-Is Pinkie Pie alright?” Lyra nodded. “Don't worry, she's fine. I'm not going to leave a friend hanging. Now, what can I get for you today?” ---------- Carrot Top winced just slightly as she approached Ponyville Town Hall. The center of the town's government stood just as proudly as ever, perfectly beguiling the not-so-corrupt-but-still-ridiculously-incompetent politicians within. Fortunately, the front of the town hall was clear of just about anypony, with everypony who had actual business to attend to either waiting inside or having long since given up and left for the day. This made it especially easy for Carrot Top to get to the perfect location to begin brainstorming, even with her creeping back injury. “Okay, Carrot, think this through,” she muttered to herself. “You left Raindrops here last night. She wasn't feeling well and told you to go on home alone while she vented. You did that, and...then what? What could have possibly happened between then and this morning that...?” A sudden twinge erupted from her loin, causing Carrot to spin about with a look of absolute agony. Pokey's pills were quite obviously not designed for this kind of injury; knowing Trixie, she had probably never even read the instructions before hoofing them out. “Oh, I don't care if she's happy, but why does she have to make everypony else suffer for it?!” Despite the agony, the mare opened her eyes. The first object to come into view was the town's bulletin board, with all the latest postings. Everything from the new petition against tax to the (thankfully undersigned) attempt to banish Sweet Apple Acres was on display, most of it untouched and unnoticed by the rest of the ponies. Even Carrot Top would have paid it no heed had she not noticed something different about it. A few trots were all it took to recognize the problem. A large, pink piece of paper had been clumsily stapled into place, showing a growling pony becoming a smiling one. And then there was what was written: Angry? Frustrated? Can't control your emotions? Let me help you with that! Take part in a brand-new discovery in anger management! Just stop by Dr. Neighser Crane's office, open nightly! And just beneath that was a torn interest slip. Carrot Top tapped her chin. That picture is a pretty good picture of what happened to Raindrops. Perhaps she went there after the meeting... She shook her head and laughed. No, of course not! Raindrops would never just run off after something she saw on the town bulletin board, especially if it involved her temper! She's got more sense than that... Her eyes drifted up just slightly, catching up with the image of that minotaur from the meeting, Iron Will. The picture showed up standing next to several ponies, all of them beaming with confidence and inner strength. “Wait...didn't he say he ran an assertiveness seminar?” Carrot Top wondered to herself. “Perhaps he knows what's going on?” She looked at the bottom of the sheet, to the date and time. “Today at 2:30. Perfect! I hope he doesn't mind a tough little pony like me in his audience, because I am going to get some answeEERRRRRAAGGHS!” There were a few other words muttered after her latest bout of back spasms, but they were far from ladylike. ---------- Ditzy was just about to doze off with her last cup of tea when their quarry finally landed. Raindrops slowly alighted herself next to the celery stand, still smiling with all the joy of a thousand youths on Hearth's Warming Eve. “What did I tell you?” she whispered to Trixie. “Now we can...” That was when she noticed something rather unexpected. Trixie was still sitting her chair, not moving so much as a muscle. Her breathing had become much more shallow, her eyes widening, her hooves trembling like they were in the middle of a Buffalo stampede. Ditzy cocked her head and waved a hoof in front of her friend's dead eyes. “Hey, you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost or something.” “Huh?” Trixie gave her head a good shake, her pupils returning to their normal size as she did so. “N-No, it's nothing. I just...I wasn't expecting something like this. I-I mean...I have seen her happy before, but not while the sun was out.” Ditzy shifted her head back into an upright position. “What do you mean?” “I-It's nothing,” Trixie muttered. Fortunately, Ditzy seemed to quiet down after that, thus sparing the Representative of the Night Court the shame of relating how she almost lost another friend forever. The mare gave her hat a quick adjustment, straightened her cape, and hopped up from her seat, standing as majestically as a superhero about to foil some petty crook. Raindrops remained blissfully unaware, just as she had back in the candy shop, gleefully handing over what few bits she apparently had left to purchase several massive celery stalks. As she moved, the flaps on her saddlebags peeked open just a smidge, revealing two glass jars filled with peanut butter. Heh, Trixie was right, Ditzy wondered to herself as she hopped back up to her hooves. Trixie's eyes darted from one end of the market to another, making sure that Raindrops wasn't turning around anytime soon. Once she was certain she wasn't going to be caught, her horn began to glow, weaving her body in an illusionary Invisibility spell. Now undetectable to the naked eye, she perched herself to the ground and approached, not unlike a panther about to pounce on an unsuspecting chicken. Ditzy slowly circled alongside, keeping her vision fixed on the small indentations Trixie's hooves made in the grass. “Thank you very much!” Raindrops shouted, causing the poor celery salespony to practically faint from the power of her voice. She raised her right foreleg, spun about... And stopped as she felt something hard, followed by a squeal of pain, and finally ending with a resounding crash against a lamppost at the other side of the street, right next to Ditzy. Trixie gradually reappeared, her head swirling about like water going down the drain. Both the mailmare and the perpetually perky pony leaped to their downed friend's side, the former gasping in terror and the latter grinning larger than ever. “A-Are you all right?” asked Ditzy. “Um...wha...huh?” Trixie mumbled, her voice wavering and shaky from the shock and pain of it all. “R-Raindrops, what'd I do...?” “Heh, sorry.” Raindrops scratched the back of her crest, giggling nervously even as her smile seemed to consume more and more of her head. “I didn't see you crawling around back there, and I have to get down to the school, and...” Ditzy's eyes narrowed. “Wait, the school? As in, Ponyville Elementary?” “Of course!” Raindrops snapped to attention, her gait not unlike a Royal Guard. “Today is such a wonderful day that I can't keep all this happiness to myself! Snails and his classmates need a good treat if they're going to keep their brains fueled and their bodies going!” Ditzy shook her head, her forehead throbbing with an oncoming migraine. “Rainy, please listen to us. We don't know what's happened, but we want to...” Before she could mutter another word, however, Raindrops had already leaped into the air, her wings beating furiously as she flew off into the distance. Ditzy started to flare her own feathered appendages to follow, but froze as her hoof tapped against the still-downed Trixie. Sighing, the mare leaned her body down, pushing the Representative's legs onto her neck before slowly levering her back to her hooves. Trixie hobbled about for a few moments before shaking her head and finally knocking out what remained of her senselessness. The mare rubbed her head, especially the rather large lump that Raindrops had just gifted to her. “Guess her anger isn't the source of her super-strength, after all. You learn something new every day...” “D-Do you need to see a doctor?” Ditzy asked, her voice twinged with worry. “That was a pretty nasty blow.” “Ah, I'll be fine!” Trixie gloated, even as her trembling legs threatened to expose her tangled web of lies. “I get a few dozen blows on the head every day! You should have seen what happened when Pierce tried to stab through the attic. I never knew the last Representative loved weight lifting so much...” Ditzy opened her mouth to admonish Trixie, but alas, there was nothing she could conceivably say that would adequately respond to such a statement. The only sane thing to do was just chalk it up to Trixie being Trixie and move on with their quest before something even worse happened. “I'll go find Lyra and Carrot Top. You go to the school and try to stop Raindrops before things get any worse.” ---------- Lunchtime at Ponyville Elementary, contrary to what many would believe, was actually a fairly tame and quiet time. There were plenty of foals running about, jumping over ropes or just rolling around in the grass, but there was a sense of organization to the madness. By this point in the school year, the fillies and colts had already figured out who liked who, what games they were best at, and who had the best goods to trade for. And watching over them was Miss Cheerilee, the best darn teacher Ponyville had ever known. She was also a national hero or something, but saving the world was just a side project. As she relaxed under her favorite tree, finishing off the last few bites of her apple and watching her little ponies play about, the only thing she could think about was how wonderful it was living her dream. Very few ponies got to experience such perfect bliss, even if it was occasionally interrupted by an errant ball or... “HELLO THERE!” Or one of her friends going insane. The entire schoolyard froze in shock as Raindrops came in for a landing, her saddlebags rustling just slightly as their contents shifted. The foals slowly pulled themselves away from the intruder, a few clutching their precious potato chips and jam sandwiches close to their trunks. Cheerilee's response, though, was more of confusion than caution, as she slowly sidled up to the newcomer. “Um...good afternoon, Raindrops. I-Is something bothering you?” she asked through a rosy fake smile. “Absolutely NOTHING!” The screaming sound of the mare's voice sent Cheerilee retreating a good fifteen paces, all while terrifying the foals even more. Even Dinky, perpetual bringer of joy and tooth decay, found herself cowering under a bench rather than face her mom's friend's strange new behavior. Raindrops' eyes never stopped scanning the field, and yet, her smile refused to fade. “Now come on, my little ponies. There's no need to be afraid of me anymore. I'm not going to be angry or lose my temper from now on. I even brought a treat.” The foals looked about each other silently, leaving their instructor to take up the question. “A treat? Raindrops, you really...” Her mouth came to a complete halt, however, as Raindrops' hoof fell over her lips. “Tut-tut, my dear Cheerilee! I am but a humble assistant on this fine day, providing these little ponies with extra sustenance so that their minds can expand and absorb the knowledge you bring forth.” Now Cheerilee was beyond confused, perhaps even confuzzled. She tilted her head, twitched her eyes, and flapped her ears, but Raindrops just smiled and nodded at her friend's apparent seizure. “R-Raindrops...what's going on here? You have never talked like that before.” “That's because that was the old Raindrops!” The mare puffed out her chest, stomped one of her hooves, and flipped open her saddlebags with her wings, revealing the jars of peanut butter and stalks of celery within. “This is the new-and-improved model, the one that doesn't make ponies tremble at the mere sight of her, the one anypony can talk to without worry of a hoof to their muzzle! And today, these lucky ponies get to enjoy celery sticks and peanut butter!” “B-But they've already eaten lunch!” Cheerilee's voice gradually rose in intensity, slowly overtaking “snapped” and reaching “screamed.” “Aren't you worried that they'll be overeating? And you are very lucky nopony in this class is allergic to peanuts, or you might have made somepony seriously sick! This isn't...” “E-Excuse me?” Everypony's eyes turned to Dinky, giving the filly pause as she pulled herself out of hiding. Her little pupils zoomed in on the peanut butter and the decorative label that adorned its glass prison. “I-Is that Crown Regal Peanut Butter?!” The minute the words pierced the air molecules floating around the playground, everypony's mouths began to water. Crown Regal Peanut Butter was the most superb peanut-based spread in all of Equestria, a rare treat for any of the foals in attendance. It was also extremely expensive, costing almost twenty bits for a small jar, but that was how you knew it was the best. And nothing went better with peanut butter than delicious celery. Raindrops' smile grew as she cocked her head and closed her eyes. “Of course it is! You little ponies need all the protein you can get if you're gonna grow up big and strong! And there's plenty for everypony!” “But you-” If Cheerilee had any more to contribute to the discussion, it was drowned out by the chorus of cheers from the foals. The little ponies charged the mare with all the force of a hurricane, and would have plowed her right over if she hadn't firmly anchored herself to the ground. Not that Raindrops seemed to particularly notice; she just flipped the bags off her bag, pulled out a previously hidden spoon from one of the flaps, and proceeded to begin breaking the celery into equal pieces. Cheerilee could only shake her head in horror. W-What happened here? Has Raindrops gone crazy? Drunk? She took a few steps closer and paused to sniff the air. Not a whiff of alcohol. But what could she...? “Pssst! Hey, Cheerilee!” The teacher spun about at the voice, only to find herself staring at a bush on the other side of the playground. Another hissed whisper followed, along with a blue hoof waving itself from beneath the mass of branches. Cheerilee winced as she saw Raindrops hand Dinky and Featherweight each a piece of peanut-stained celery, but alas, her curiosity finally overcame her other senses and she approached the bush. She had just managed to get within ten steps when the bushes' bristling infrastructure was magically parted, allowing Trixie to step out. After a quick motion to readjust her hat and cape and knock off the leaves and twigs that had gotten entangled in her hair, she nodded at Cheerilee. “Thank goodness I got here.” Trixie sighed as she bore witness to the peanut butter-fueled assemblage of foals, as well as Cheerilee’s frustrated glare. “See our problem?” “You mean that Raindrops has taken up interrupting my class and smiling like Pinkie Pie?” Cheerilee shook her head. “So what’s the deal? Last I heard, she had just lost her job.” “Technically, it was a suspension. But yeah, Raindrops is acting more than a little weird right now. So far, she’s blown her money on a gift basket, threw out Carrot Top’s back, and just gave me a good bump on the head.” As if to answer Cheerilee’s silent disbelief, Trixie levitated off her hat, revealing the still-fresh lump next to the protruding bone. Cheerilee gasped in shock, her eyes wandering back and forth between Trixie and the gathering around Raindrops. “I-Is she violent right now? Are my foals in any danger?” Trixie rolled her eyes and sighed. “Cheerilee, this is still Raindrops. I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t hurt a foal. It’s just that she’s...well, happy. Really happy.” By this point in the conversation, every foal had already managed to get their piece of celery and dollop of peanut butter, and had pulled away from the intruder to resume their lunch break. Raindrops smiled, kicked back her hooves, and sat back on her haunches, still smiling like a cheshire cat. Cheerilee cocked her head and raised an eyebrow, even as Trixie resumed rubbing her newfound battle wound. “Okay, we know she’s happy. But any idea why?” Trixie shook her head. “Lyra and Ditzy suggested drugs...” “It’s not drugs.” Cheerilee’s response came so suddenly that Trixie had to do a double take. The teacher’s face was twisted in a mask of confidence, her mind resolute in her convictions. Trixie, on the other hoof, was decidedly less sure. “How do you know that?” “I’ve been around, Trixie, and I can assure you, Raindrops is not taking drugs. Besides, haven’t you read all the ‘Princess Luna Teaches Foals About Controlled Substances’ comics?” “You mean those stupid things?” Trixie shook her head and chuckled. “Of course I remember those. Luna hated those things so much. Something about them being inflammatory and insulting and making her flank look big. But how does that..” “Sorry we’re late!” The two ponies spun around to find Ditzy, Lyra, and Carrot Top coming up the road. The first was the only pony not bearing any sort of strange mark from the day’s events; Carrot was still struggling to move about, and Lyra’s mane and coat were stained with the most delicate twinges of cake frosting and icing. They stopped only when they had reached the rest of their companions. “Sorry, but it took a minute to find Lyra. She apparently spent the last hour in Sugar Cube Corner.” Lyra blushed, even as Trixie gave her the Evil Eye. “Sugar Cube Corner? Surely you weren't trying to sit back and relax while everypony else did the hard work?” “But that's...” Ditzy started, before finally just giving up and letting out a frustrated growl of defeat. “It's a long story,” Lyra muttered. “Point is, somepony needed help, I helped, and now it's time to stop Raindrops before she...” “Hey, Rainy!” Everypony's ears practically drooped right off their heads at the voice. A quick glance in the direction of Raindrops confirmed their worst fears. Standing right next to Raindrops was her little brother, Snails. Not the brightest of colts out there, but still a treasured member of the class and friend to many. “Thanks for the awesome snack!” Raindrops giggled and gave her brother an affectionate hoof to the head. “No problem, little bro! And hey, I've got plenty of time off now, so how about we hit the lake after school? Get yourself some swim practice before the trip!” Snails' mouth opened so much that it almost seemed to pop right off. “You mean it?! Wow, first you get your vacation time early, and now this!” “Vacation time?” The touching moment came to a sudden end as a new voice joined the conversation. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, the class bullies and source of no small amount of torment in Snails' life previously, took a few unwelcome steps towards the two. Their tongues licked off the last traces of peanut butter off their lips, making sure every last drop of the precious stuff was gone before unleashing the full force of their wrath. “Didn't you hear what happened? Your sister got fired!” said Diamond Tiara. Snails' smile vanished as quickly as it had come. “Fired? B-But she's the most awesome worker ever!” “I hear she beat up her boss,” said Silver Spoon. “They say she knocked her right through a wall!” “It was actually a door.” Raindrops hopped back to her hooves, her smile seemingly growing even wider. “And I was suspended, not fired. Once Rainbow Dash realizes I'm all better, she'll give me my job back.” Snails cocked his head. “B-Better? What do you mean?” Any further conversation ended as Tiara and Spoon broke out into giggles. “You mean you really didn't know? Seriously, you must be dumber than you look!” Tiara said with a slight scoff in her voice. “And that's an accomplishment!” added Silver Spoon. Snails let out a low growl as she spread his legs, no doubt in preparation for the epic buttkicking that was about to commence. “O-Oh yeah?! Well, my big sister is here right now! And she's gonna make sure y-you bullies all get what's coming to you! Isn't that right, sis?” Raindrops slowly lowered her head towards her brother, panned it back over to the two bullies, and then back again to Snails. Cheerilee's teacher senses immediately kicked into gear as she began to canter over, avoiding a gallop only so she didn't risk running into any of the other foals. And she would have made it had Raindrops not suddenly decided to speak. “Actually, you could probably study a little more.” In an instant, Snails' confidence collapsed like their roof had a month prior. He spun about, almost tripping himself over his own hooves as he looked his sister in the eyes. “Wh-What?” Cheerilee froze just a few steps shy of Raindrops, her own expression quickly matching the horror on Snails'. The others slowly walked up alongside, not a single one of them able to make out just what was going on. Even Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were aghast that they weren't being silently glared at by the Perpetually Perturbed Pony. And as for Raindrops, her smile just grew and grew with every passing word, until a big, toothy smile covered her entire face. “It's a fair criticism. I mean, you know as well as I do that you're not always the smartest colt out there. That doesn't make you a bad pony; it's just something you have to work on. Like that time you brought that snail into my room and accidentally dropped it on my face. I know you wouldn't do anything like that deliberately, but you're so clumsy at times that you have to watch what you're doing. These ponies aren't out there to be mean to you; they just want you to know how many problems you have so you can get better like I did. That way nopony will ever call you retarded again.” The entire class gasped. Cheerilee almost felt something tear out of her chest. Trixie had to push Lyra's mouth back shut. Ditzy and Carrot Top looked like something out of a ghost story. And Raindrops just kept smiling, ever wider, ever larger... Snails sniffed at the air for a moment, barely fighting back the dam of emotions threatening to rupture. Alas, this hurricane was far too much, and he finally let out a single loud wail before galloping away, his eyes brimming with hot tears. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon watched as he fled to the other side of the building, their own mouths hanging open in horror. Fortunately for all, the school bell chose that moment to finally ring, signaling a continuation of the day's lesson. One by one, the foals walked past the motionless adults, their eyes peeled far away from Raindrops. It was only when Dinky saw her mother amongst the crowd that she broke formation and walked to her, not even reaching out for a nuzzle. “Mommy...is Miss Raindrops a bully?” Ditzy was silent a few moments longer, her own eyes threatening to water under the watchful gaze of her little one. When she finally had an answer, she leaned over and gave Dinky a reassuring rub on the cheek. “No, of course not. She just...has some problems right now.” “Yes she does,” Cheerilee muttered, seemingly ignoring Dinky rushing back into the classroom. “And at the top of the list...IS ME.” Every step Cheerilee took resounded with the fury of an earthquake. Her eyes burned with an awesome power the likes of which even Princess Luna could never hope to match. Everything in her regarded Raindrops no longer as a friend, but as an enemy to be put down, a problem to be solved, and most of all, a villain to be punished. She stopped her march only when she was directly behind Raindrops. The pegasus had refused to move, her head still lowered to where Snails had previously been. “Raindrops, I know you are under a lot of pressure, but you have gone too far this time! How dare you interrupt my class' lunch, distribute snacks without my permission, and then insult one my ponies! I don't care if he is your bother; NOPONY gets away with what you've just done!” Raindrops didn't move, almost as if she had been cemented to the ground itself. Cheerilee let out another growl, grabbed her with both of her forehooves, and finally forced her around...and froze as she saw the tears running down Raindrops' cheeks. Her smile was still there, but it looked so forced, so painful, that she had to do a double-take and step back. “R-Raindrops, are you...?” “I-I'm fine,” she choked. “Of course I'm fine. I'll always be fine!” And before anypony else could make their move, she galloped off and leaped into the air, her wings spreading majestically as she flapped into the distance. The remaining five adults slowly walked over to each other, their faces masked with concern. “D-Did she really say what I think she said?” asked Carrot Top. “She apparently did the same thing to Pinkie earlier,” Lyra added. “That's why I was at Sugar Cube Corner for so long. She made her cry.” Trixie shook her head in disbelief. “Pinkie crying? I...guess she has emotions like everypony else." She paused, took a breath, and then continued. "But what do we do now? She could be anywhere in Ponyville, we still don't know what's causing this, and now we have a hurt little colt to deal with.” “I'll take care of Snails.” Cheerilee's voice was hushed. “The rest of you...find Raindrops. We'll meet up after class.” Having said her piece, Cheerilee slowly walked off to the side of the schoolhouse, where Snails was still curled up in a small, broken ball. The others couldn't make out what she was saying as she knelt next to him, but before long they were hugging and he was sobbing into her shoulders. “...I found something on the bulletin board,” Carrot Top said with a wince. “The minotaur who runs her Anger Management class has a seminar going on today, and somepony ripped off some interest slip for a psychiatrist. You think he might know something?” “It's worth a try,” Trixie said. Her attention was more focused on Snails and Cheerilee as they slowly returned to the classroom, but she still had some to spare for her friends. “Lyra and I will try to find her in Ponyville.” And so the ponies split up once again, with not a soul noticing the cloud that was following them... > Landfall > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Are you sure you're all right, Carrot Top?” Lyra cocked an eyebrow as the mare slowly pulled herself alongside her, grunting and groaning all the way. “Raindrops must have done a number on your back. Maybe you should lay down for a little while and...” “I-I'll be fine,” the mare grumbled. “We're almost there. J-Just need to make it a little bit more...” The two slowly passed over one of the many small grassy knolls that dotted the outside of Ponyville, and soon found themselves staring at their final destination. A large wooden stage had been set up, complete with fog machines and spotlights that would not have been out of place at a rock concert. A crowd of ponies were already stomping their hooves at what has happening on stage, although it was a bit hard to tell from this far back just what that was. In fact, the only thing they could make out where the goats. Lots of goats. And they were all wearing ties. And not the proper kind that could run for hundreds of bits and the wealthy wore as status symbols. No, these were the kind of ties ponies would buy their fathers because their birthday was coming up and they were impossible to shop for. Lyra knew; she had purchased many of them for her own parents over the years. Still, the unicorn shrugged a little as the two began to approach the crowd. “So, this...Iron Will guy. He's a minotaur, you said?” Carrot Top nodded. “Sure is. Y-You have seen a minotaur before, right?” “Well...no, not really,” Lyra muttered. “I've heard about them, of course. I know they live a ways out from Equestria and are friendly with goats, but I've...ne-never...” Any other words that were about to crawl out of Lyra's mouth committed seppuku at the sight on stage. It was a...thing like which she had never seen before, and yet, it looked all too familiar. The way it stood, the way its muscles were built, and those...things at the ends of its forearms... If she didn't know any better, she would have sworn that... “A-Are you okay, Lyra?” Carrot Top asked. “You look like you've seen a ghost.” “I think I might have,” the mare mumbled back. “The ghost...of an entire species...” Carrot Top was about to cock her head, but two things brought a stop to that. The first was another wave of pain in her back. The second was when Iron Will's voice bellowed out across the crowd, blasting them with the force of a small galestorm. “And so you see, Iron Will's Assertiveness Techniques can make even the weakest pony into a lean, mean assertive machine!” He punctuated the last four words with what amounted to a quick series of dance steps, followed by two extra ones for extra emphasis. “So sign up today for your first lesson, and remember, if you are not 100% completely satisfied, YOU. PAY. NOTHING!” Two of the goats, following their stage directions, walked up a nearby table and lifted up several previously hidden boxes, all of them filled to the brim with books, records, pamphlets, and anything else Iron Will could conceivably sell. While a few ponies walked away, grumbling at the audacity of what they had just seen, still many more lined up eagerly at the table, their bits rustling in their purses and ready for many a transaction. The goats...just behaved like goats, casually chewing on their ties and making almost primeval screeches as they recorded purchases, took credit accounts, and recorded names for future visits should they not pay up. By the time everypony had dispersed, only Lyra and Carrot Top remained in the field, while Iron Will simply posed triumphantly on stage. The goats gathered the remaining products and their hard-earned bits and walked behind the stage, no doubt to store things away for the next big production. It took another minute or so for the minotaur to stop flexing his muscles and finally notice the two ponies standing before him. “You two have questions for Iron Will? Or just can't decide what to buy?” “Um...” Lyra took a slow step forward, her body still trying to fight her every move. “M-My name is Lyra Heartstrings, and this is my friend, Carrot Top.” Iron Will looked the two ponies over, his gaze penetrating them like an arrow to the hock. Lyra's perspiration only intensified as the burly minotaur sauntered closer and closer, his eyes slanted like some deranged madpony about to go to town on his latest victims. Carrot Top, on the other hoof, just stared up at the familiar figure, her body not exactly cooperating with attempts to get away. The minotaur came to a stop mere paces from the two, and for the first time, Lyra got a true impression of his massive size. He must have been the same height as she had been that time Trixie turned her into a bear, as their heads just barely rose above his waist. Fortunately, Iron Will's gaze softened as he looked closer at Carrot Top. “Oh, Raindrops' friend from the meeting!” “Er...yes,” said Carrot Top. “W-We're having a problem with her, and...” “Let me guess, she isn't following the program Iron Will prescribed.” The minotaur rolled his eyes. “Stress balls are a very important part of any anger management regimen. When you give it a squeeze, you put your mind at ease.” Carrot Top winced and moaned as another spasm ran the course of her spine. “Er...yeah. S-She knows about squeezing, all right.” Iron Will paused for a moment, his ears perking up at the sound of Carrot Top's agony. As he hunched himself over her backside, Lyra stepped forward, keeping the minotaur in her peripheral vision as best she could. “Something happened to her between last night and today. She's been bouncing around with a smile on her face, throwing her bits away on care packages, breaking her friend's backs, and making her little brother cry.” “Uh huh.” The minotaur's hands slowly slid down Carrot Top's back, causing the pony no small amount of discomfort. Before she could scream out about being inappropriately touched and buck Iron Will in the face, one of the mintaur's arms wrapped underneath the midsection of her barrel and flexed upward, right around the same spot his other hand was pressing down. There was an audible crack, followed by a brief shout of pain from Carrot. Lyra's eyes widened with horror, before sliding right back to righteous fury. She hunched her front side towards the ground, her left forehoof kicking at the ground. “What do you think you're doing, you monst-” “AAAAAAGH...THAT'S SO GOOD!” In an instant, any outward sign of Carrot Top's agony was replaced with what looked like a tidal wave of relief. The change was so swift that Lyra's brain stripped its gears, sending the unicorn tumbling into a faceplant against the soft, unyielding grass as she lost her balance. As she slowly recovered and pulled herself back to an upright position, Carrot spun about to face Iron Will, a smile across her lips. “Thank you so much, Iron Will. How'd you know...?” “Licensed chiropractor.” The minotaur nodded and struck a mighty pose, stretching his upper limbs like he was about to toss a ball. Even stranger, however, he spun his entire body about to face the big, empty space behind and to the right of Carrot Top, leaving the two ponies utterly confused. “If you got a pain in your back, fix it with a crack!” He waited a second, just long enough for Lyra to roll her eyes and push this entire incident into the darkest recesses of her memory, right next to the Ice Palace and Lyre of Death incidents. “Very...nice little pitch. But we need help. Do you know anything about a Neighser Crane?” “Neighser Crane...Neighser Crane...” The minotaur scratched the bottom of his chin, humming the name in a thousand different phonetic ways as he did so. “That name does sound familiar...what do you want to know?” “We think he has something to do with why Raindrops is acting like she is.” Carrot Top's voice still said, her voice dripping with the sweet honey that was a good back and strong health. “When we left the meeting, she was still a big ball of anger problems. And when I checked the board outside Town Hall, one of the slips was ripped off.” Iron Will's face brightened briefly, only to darken with rage. “Oh...that Neighser Crane. Some sort of psychologist who got chased out of Canterlot for ethics violations. Guy came into one of Iron Will's Anger Management meetings a few months ago, claiming he had some kind of miracle cure for anger. Something about magic or that nonsense.” Lyra and Carrot Top glanced at each other, worry on both their faces. “Did he say what kind?” Lyra asked. The minotaur shrugged. “No, but Iron Will has heard the same story from a hundred different whackjobs, and not one time have they been telling the truth. I told him to leave Iron Will's workshop before he messed with somepony's head.” “And then what happened?” said Carrot Top. Another shrug. “Nothing. He just walked out and Iron Will started the meeting back up.” The two ponies nodded their heads, already processing the new information. “So at least we have something to go on,” Lyra said to Carrot Top. “We need to get back to Trixie and the others as soon as possible.” She turned back to Iron Will. “Thanks for all your help.” “No problem...” The two ponies spun about-face on their hooves. “Once we settle the issue of payment.” Lyra and Carrot Top's eyes widened as they turned back to the minotaur. Iron Will's posse of goats were now in a military formation behind the mighty motivational speaker, baying things that, to the trained ear, would have registered as commands for holding the skinflints down and forcing them to pay for services rendered. “Wait..is this about my back?” Carrot Top muttered. “B-But I thought you did that for free.” Iron Will shook his head. “Sorry, but nothing's free. Still, Iron Will does have to get grocery shopping soon...how does one bit sound?” Carrot Top's gasp lengthened for a moment, then suddenly retreated into a small smile. “Well, that's cheaper than going to a regular chiropractor...” “Hold it!” Both Carrot and Iron Will froze as Lyra jumped between them. That look of fierce determination was once again on her face as she eyeballed the massive foe before her. “She had no idea you were going to charge her for something like that! Do you want me to tell all my friends about how big of a crook you are?” Iron Will seemed to take pause, his lips turning into a small pout as he sagged his shoulders in defeat. “Iron Will...guesses you have a point.” The moment of triumph at hoof, Lyra allowed herself to smile...until Carrot Top tapped her on the shoulder. Despite having just been saved from sinking back into poverty, the farmer was not looking too pleased with her friend. “It's just one bit, and he did help fix my back. I owe them that much,” she whispered. “No you don't,” Lyra whispered back. “It's one of those business things I picked up from Bon-Bon. If he fixed your back without you actually employing him or offering to pay, he can't charge you. Just give me a few minutes, and I'll have him eating hay out of our hooves.” Having given her self-pep talk for the day, Lyra turned back to Iron Will, who was still just standing there and looking at the two. She even raised a hoof in the air, not unlike a pompous Canterlot music critic about to give somepony a bad review. “Good sir, I will admit that you helped my dear friend Carrot Top with her back problems, but I do not think that...” That was when she noticed Iron Will looking at her outstretched hoof, scratching his chin with that claw-thing of his. She blushed and slammed the extremity back to the ground. “Um...what are you doing?” “Iron Will was just...admiring the texture of your hoof.” The minotaur grinned. “Have you ever considered pottery?” ---------- “And so, if you reverse the polarity of the neutron flow, you will...” The school bell finally let out a triumphant ring, signaling the end to yet another day of fun and learning in Ponyville's only elementary school. The foals quickly gathered up their supplies, threw on their saddlebags, and trotted out the door, eager to enjoy a full weekend of no more teacher's dirty looks. Everypony, that is, save for Cheerilee and Snails. The former stood at the front of the classroom, depositing her chalk back into its holder, and the latter simply sat in the same slumped, defeated pose he had held since lunch. Sighing sadly, Cheerilee stepped up to the colt. “Snails, hon, is there anything I can do?” The colt shook his head quietly. He had long since stopped crying, but that had done nothing to shake his dismal mood. The very sight of the hurt foal was enough to make Cheerilee's heart curl. When she had dreamed of becoming a teacher, she had imagined watching her little ponies bloom into fine adults, full of knowledge and confidence in what they wanted to do with their lives. Watching any of her charges suffer was more than she could take, even with her years of schooling and training. “Look...I know your sister said some horrible things, but that doesn't mean you can hide in here forever. And it doesn't mean she's a bad pony. She's just...” She paused as she tried to find the right words. “...In a difficult situation at the moment. Do you understand?” Snails sniffed. “Uh huh.” “You don't have to go straight home. I'm sure some of your classmates will be willing to spend some time with you if you want. I'll talk to Raindrops, okay?” The colt was motionless at first, so much so that Cheerilee was about to repeat herself when he finally made some sign of being alive. He uttered a single, “Okay,” slowly climbed out of his seat, and foisted his saddlebags onto his back, his eyes never leaving the schoolhouse's floorboards. Cheerilee felt her heart sink as she watched her little pony walk away. Not even the sound of waiting foals walking up to the entryway and trying to console their friend and classmate as best they could was able to lift her spirits. Indeed, there was a deep...something burning inside her guts, something that not even Corona could force her to feel. It was like somepony had distilled and mixed anger, rage, panic, terror, and a dash of indigestion, injected it into her stomach, and then let it fester over a series of hours. The discomfort tinkered about with her senses, causing her brain to pull flips and her emotions to rocket about like they were on a roller coaster. And yet, one clear thought remained. Raindrops...we are going to have the world's longest conversation. ---------- Trixie pointed triumphantly at the distant Thunderlane and his accompanying pegasi, hard at work pushing clouds into position over some of the local fields. “See? Told you I could find them!” Ditzy shook her head. She had never even said Trixie couldn't; as Representative, she would have every weather schedule filed away, just in case the Night Court required an update on the Weather Center's water consumption or cloud production. “What I'm saying is, how are they going to help us find Raindrops? She got suspended, remember?” Trixie shrugged as they came up on the team. “It's worth a shot. We have no way of combing the entire town on our own.” She looked up at the herd above, diligently crafting and pushing their clouds to the point where they didn't even notice the two newcomers. That is, until Trixie did what she was best at and loudly announced their presence with a big wave of one foreleg and a mighty roar. ”HEY! WE NEED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING!” The first reaction of the pegasi was to look at each other in silence, weighing in whether or not to acknowledge Trixie's request with their attention. In the end, the obligation to be neighborly to the pony who could theoretically destroy your employer won over, and Thunderlane gradually floated to the ground. “Yes, what is it?” Before the first syllable could leave Trixie's mouth, Ditzy's left foreleg shot out in front of her chest and pushed her back a few steps. “Have any of you seen Raindrops recently? Trixie and I have been looking for her all day.” Thunderlane tapped his chin with a hoof, shaking her head sadly as she did so. “No, can't say that I have. Not since what happened back at the office. I-Is she doing okay?” Ditzy shook her head sadly. “I don't think so. Something's changed about her lately, and I don't think I like it.” “Look, if you see her, tell her we're all rooting for her, okay?” The pegasi still fluttering above nodded their heads and smiled, a couple even throwing up their hooves and hooting in recognition of their departed comrade's absence. “She isn't the first pony who's gotten the noose around her neck because of our 'esteemed' supervisor. What Rainbow Dash did was negligent, and even after all that, she still hasn't shown up at the office since this morning. By Luna, she can just really grind my gears sometimes.” Trixie rolled her eyes and let out a frustrated groan. “Tell me about it.” She followed it up with a dismissing wave of her hoof. “Now go about your regular business, dear Thunderlane. My colleague and I have many important matters to discuss.” Thunderlane’s face contorted briefly with an unimaginable rage, but the usual fury that came up when dealing with Trixie quickly faded. With just a small snort of dismissal, and a warm nod and farewell to the smiling Ditzy, he unfurled his wings and flew back into the sky, rejoining his loyal herd of weatherponies in their labor. Now that she had reached her “ponies offended” quota, Trixie spun about and began trotting down the road back to the town proper, with Ditzy joining only after a few seconds of confusion. “Where are we going?” “Back to the cafe,” Trixie said. Ditzy bucked her head back and whinnied. “B-But we haven't found Raindrops yet!” “We will, but I need to think first,” Trixie mumbled. “Something about what Thunderlane said feels off...” Above them, the cloud just kept moving along... ---------- Trixie pouted as her straw shifted about in the glass of carrot juice. “Hmph, so far this search has been a total bust. How can three ponies take so long?” Ditzy simply leaned herself against the cafe table, looking even more exhausted than her companion. Around them were only a hoofful of customers, as most of the town was either still at their regular jobs or dealing with other, more important issues than a rampaging happy pony. Either way, the fact that they were back here was more than a little annoying; it was like they had run in circles and everything before this was utterly meaningless. “They'll come when they've found something. At least I don't have to go to work today. I can't afford to lose any more bits.” “It'll be fine,” Trixie said with a shrug. “Besides, we have more important things to worry about than even money. Have you ever considered that this might be...” She leaned in closer to Ditzy's ears, which flapped to attention out of sheer habbit. “...a plot of some kind?” At that, Ditzy's exhaustion deepened into an all-consuming well of despair. “Really? So somepony decided that they wanted to mess with all of us by making one of our friends permanently happy and carefree?” “Of course they did!” Trixie said with no small amount of pompousness. “Why, it could be work of that snake, Greengrass!” ---------- Greengrass looked up from his copy of Radishes and You and turned to the nearby Notary. “Say, do we have anything on the itinerary for today?” Notary sighed as she leafed through the calender. “Outside of a dinner with Viceroy Night Light, no.” “Very good, then.” Greengrass returned to his book with a resigned groan. It had been so long since he tried to sway those six ponies from Ponyville to his side, but alas, good ideas were hard to come by at the moment, especially since that fool Blueblood had ruined his last scheme. He really had to stop letting him in on those things. And inviting him to his pancake breakfasts. How can a noble EAT like that...? ---------- “I...don't think that's it,” said Ditzy. “Then what if it's Corona?” Trixie gasped at her own insane theory, her eyes widening with fear. “This could be part of her plan to break us up and leave our Elements worthless!” ---------- Corona leaned back into her throne briefly before turning her gaze back to the nearby Zecora. “Has that accursed mercenary arrived yet?” The zebra shook her head, prompting another frustrated growl. “Does nopony care about punctuality after a thousand years? And to think of all the time I could have spent trying to separate that traitor's thugs from each other!” ---------- “I think that's even less likely,” Ditzy mumbled. “Last I checked, she wasn't exactly subtle.” The words seemed to have a magic effect on Trixie, as her muscles instantly relaxed. The mare let out a sigh as she slumped into her seat. “I suppose you're right. Either way, this doctor must have some kind of agenda to put our friend through this. Let's face it, Raindrops isn't exactly the one most likely to jump up and volunteer to have somepony...” “Sorry we're late.” The two turned to the origin point of that noise, which soon turned out to be Carrot Top. Unfortunately, they did not notice who it was until she stepped out from behind Lyra and the giant pile of books, records, pamphlets, and other assorted material piled in the wagon behind them. And pulling the whole thing was Lyra, looking more than a little exhausted from her latest workload. “I know I will regret asking this, but just what is all that?” Trixie stammered. Carrot Top let out a resigned sigh as she looked back and forth between her dumbstruck friends and the guilty party. Lyra, for her part, just stood there with the biggest grin possible in this situation. “Turns out Bon-Bon's negotiation skills didn't rub off on her. She bought Iron Will's entire catalog.” “Hey, you didn't have to pay for the massage, did you?” Lyra grinned like a schoolfilly, totally ignoring the groans of everypony else around her. “Win-win, I think.” Ditzy's eyes stopped rolling and focused on the amazing mountain of material. She could already make out a few of the titles, all of which seemed to cover topics ranging from self-confidence and overcoming clinical depression to giving massages to royalty for fun and profit. And on all of them was the face of a massive minotaur holding up one of his claws. “Really? Just...how much did this cost altogether?” “Eh, it was a little expensive,” Lyra said with a shrug. “But come on, he's got a six-part course on how to use a credenza to improve your love life! How cool is that?” “And when are you going to be weaving baskets underwater?” Trixie wondered aloud, her eyes turning to a particularly grayscale book in the far corner of the wagon. Lyra's only response was a small shrug of the shoulders and a look of pure indifference. Fortunately for the pony with the color of grass, Cheerilee happened to come walking up at the same moment. Even more fortunately for everyone involved, there was no forecoming sign of her previous rage. In fact, she seemed oddly serene for a pony who was ready to beat down her best friend but a few hours prior. All this cheeriness accomplished was to make the other ponies feel even more terrified at her presence. “Good afternoon, girls. Did I...” She paused to take in the cartload of self-help material. “...miss anything important?” Carrot Top shrugged. “Other than Lyra trying to prove that she is ‘‘NOT a starving artist,’ not really. We did find out something about somepony else, though...” ---------- Trixie nodded along as Carrot Top and Lyra finished their findings. Fortunately, the musician and the farmer were concise enough for everypony to get a quick handle on the situation. “So, this...Crane guy is the one who made Raindrops into the happiest bully in Equestria?” asked Ditzy. “Exactly,” said Lyra. “And given how Iron Will described him, I don't think she's the first pony he's worked on. The guy sounds like he crawled out of a bad horror book.” Cheerilee shook her head slowly, her lips curled into a small frown. “No, if there was a mad scientist...” “Psychatrist.” The teacher's eyes locked onto the Representative in bewilderment, a state that Trixie quickly picked up on. “There's a big difference. Scientists actually get off their flanks and do stuff. Psychiatrists just make you sit on a coach and blame everything on your mother.” Carrot Top, Lyra, and Cheerilee looked at each other in a mixture of confusion, surprise, and more than a little bit of terror. Only Ditzy dared to prod this topic any further. “Let me guess, Princess Luna sent you to a few, right?” In an instant, Trixie's thin veneer of superiority was torn asunder, causing her to haunch over in surprise and shame. “O-Of course not! Since when have I ever shown a need for any sort of therapy?” Both Lyra and Cheerilee opened their mouths, but a quick shake of the head from Ditzy served to remind them of the importance of their friendship, and they quietly put aside their comments. Besides, it was too easy. “So we know that this doctor messed with Raindrops, but we don't know what his techniques are.” The mailmare scratched at her chin, her left eye slowly rolling counter-clockwise with the rhythm of a hoof against fur. “So what do we do know?” “I think it's pretty obvious,” Lyra said with a shrug. “But first, we gotta find Raindrops. Who knows what kind of destruction she could be wrecking as we speak?” “But do we even know where she is?” Trixie shook her head. “For all we know, she could be all the way in Cloudsdale by now. She could even just be sitting in her room, crying her eyes out over being such a jerk!” She scoffed. “Of course, that would be ridiculous...” It took her roughly ten seconds before she realized that everypony else was staring at her. It took another ten for her to realize what it meant. “W-Wait, we're not really going to...” “It's worth a try,” Lyra said. She turned back to her great burden. “Now, does anypony want to help me find a place for these? We kinda stopped by the shop and...well, let's just say going near Bon-Bon right now is not advisable.” ---------- Trixie's hoof pounded against the door to Raindrops' house, echoing like a battering ram against a castle gate. After a few moments, she could finally hear movement from the other side, followed by Raindrops herself pulling the door open. Her eyes were still a little red from before, but otherwise she was still smiling and chipper as ever. She didn't even react when Trixie's face scrunched up, as if she had just eaten some really bad oats. “Hey, guys! What's up?” “You know what's up, Raindrops,” Cheerilee said. Rainy titled her head just a tad. “What do you mean?” “We know about Dr. Crane,” said Carrot Top. “We know he did something to you that's making you act this way.” “Oh...that,” Raindrops' smile grew. “You have nothing to worry about. All he did was teach me how to be happy. I'm not angry at anypony anymore, I don't have to keep watching every little thing I say and do, and I can actually enjoy life for once. You don't think there's anything wrong with that, do you?” Ditzy shook her head and stepped forward. “There's nothing wrong with wanting to be happy, but you're hurting everypony around you, including yourself. Do you think Snails was happy when you insulted him in front of everypony?” Raindrops shrugged. “I was just trying to help him.” “By making him think he's retarded?!” Cheerilee's voice trembled with the rage of a thousand angry schoolteachers, tempered with the fury of an erupting volcano. If anger could be turned into raw power, she would have likely been able to knock the Tyrant Sun flat with a single buck. “Do you have any idea how much he's hurting right now?” “Yeah, I could have phrased it better,” Raindrops said, a slight giggle in her voice. “But what's done is done. And besides, I'm still anger-free and proud to be!” “But this isn't you,” said Lyra. “You haven't eliminated your problem, you've just...rewritten yourself.” Raindrops took a single step out of the doorway, her smile widening as she did so. The entire party shrank back in surprise. “Of course I have! Everypony was so scared of me beating them upside the head for anything they did! Now they have no reason to worry about me. I can't hurt anypony else ever again. Even if anything bad comes my way, I'll just be all smiles. I'm all better now, and you guys should just stop worrying about me and focus on improving yourselves.” The five looked about each other, worry etching across their faces. “Raindrops, haven't you hurt enough ponies like this today?” asked Cheerilee. “I'm not hurting anypony, I'm helping them!” Raindrops' smile grew, and with every extra inch seemed to come closer and closer to the charming smile of somepony who was about to knife you. That was just one of the eight-point-sixty-five reasons Cheerilee recoiled as Raindrops' hoof tapped her on the front. “You know, I'm all open tonight. We could hit the bar, look out for some single stallions wanting a mare with experience. I mean, they don't have to know that you haven't had a coltfriend in...ever.” In an instant, the luster in Cheerilee's holy wrath faded into the ether. The mare slowly took a few steps away from her mean old friend, feeling as small as a potato bug. She barely even noticed when Lyra stepped in between the two. “Leave her alone, Raindrops! She hasn't done anything to you. We just want to help.” “But I don't need any help. If you wanted to help somepony, shouldn't you be back at the shop helping Bon-Bon? I'm sure she'd appreciate it, especially considering how you don't have any concerts scheduled for the next two months despite being a national celebrity and a career musician. I'm sure even you wouldn't be too lazy to help the pony who's supporting you keep a roof over your heads.” And down Lyra went. The mare backed up into the same bowing position as Cheerilee, muttering half-hearted counterarguments to the contrary. That was when Carrot Top stepped in to take up her sword. “Raindrops, you are going to tell us everything that happened. I was there at the meeting. I know how much you want to get rid of your anger problems. But trying to lie to yourself and pretend you're something you're not is never the answer.” “But I was just a ticking time bomb before this. You should know how hard it is to see everypony else succeeding in life while your own shortcomings and failures hold you back. I know how much you envy the Apples and their success, while you have a dinky carrot farm you can barely keep up the rent on. But hey, you have that union of yours know, and that's a great thing. At least you and the Apples have their own trusts now.” Carrot Top whinnied and walked back a few steps, her lips curling into a sobbing position. “I-I never...I'm a good farmer...” “Hold it right there!” Trixie's voice bellowed across the front yard like a mighty manticore's roar. “Raindrops, I may be your friend, but this 'happy' you has become a belligerent loudmouth! Now you are going to tell us everything that's happening, and that's final!” Raindrops cocked her head just slightly to the right. “Isn't that like the pot calling the kettle black? I think you need to work out your own problems before you go around insulting anypony. Besides, don't you have important things to do for Princess Luna? Surely she hasn't just dumped her prized pupil in a small town like Ponyville and completely forgotten about her, or given her absolutely pointless tasks to do. You must be getting really close to that Night Court position you always wanted by hanging around these sticks.” Trixie...smiled and shook her head. “Heh. Was that the best you could...” “And you really need to get laid.” That was when Trixie's mouth clamped shut like a vise. The mare slowly lowered her hat over her eyes, barely concealing the raw terror emitting from every synapse of her being. With four of the five champions now defeated – more or less – it was time for the last and greatest of them to step forward and bring these beast down. At least, that was a small part of Ditzy's rationale. The Element of Kindness walked forward, her face visibly straining from trying to keep her eyes locked on Raindrops. The mare seemed to quiver under the power of her piercing gaze, but otherwise made no sign of trying to move away from the door. And that smile still refused to leave. “Raindrops, I know things are rough for you. I know you didn't want to insult your little brother, or to make any of your friends feel this way. But whatever this doctor has done...this isn't you. You are supposed to be the Element of Honesty. How can you possibly justify all this?” Raindrops was silent for several seconds. The smile gradually descended, stopping around the level of a smirk. Ditzy smiled as she saw a glimmer of her old friend... “You're right. I really need to make this up to everypony.” The smile widened just a bit. “We really should hit the bar tonight.” “I...don't think drinking is really going to help...” “But it's Singles Night! I'll even help you find some eligible stallions!” Ditzy's eyes narrowed. In her frustration, she lost that tight focus holding her rolling optics in place, sending her left spinning until it was looking straight down. “I'm not looking for a coltfriend, Raindrops. I have my Dinky, and that's enough for me.” “But is it enough for her?” Even wider. “You're a great mother and all, but another pony in the household might make things even better for her and you. There are plenty of loving ponies out there who would just love to help raise your daughter. We just have to make sure to avoid the married ones. You know, the ones who try to slip off the ring and act like they don't have a wife and foals of their own. Because really, all you would have to do is hook up with them just once and there goes the family. Especially if you don't use protection, you know? Can't risk getting pregnant and bringing a baby into all this...” That was when Raindrops zoned back into reality and saw Ditzy's face. Any confidence the mailmare had previously shown had been wiped away, leaving behind only a stunned, slack-jawed, eye-quivering mess. The others, having just barely recovered from their own torments, slowly approached their stunned friend, pausing only to flash confused, accusatory and/or frustrated glances at the instigator of all this. Raindrops stood still for a few more seconds, the smile stretching to obviously painful degrees, before she finally stepped away and closed the door. The spectacle outside remained equally still for much longer. Only Trixie was simultaneously brave and foolish enough to break the silence. “Ditzy...are you okay?” The mare nodded her head up and down, but the closed eyes, sobbing noises and tears rather betrayed the lie. Lyra and Carrot Top both wrapped a hoof over her back, pulling themselves in for a three-way hug, while Cheerilee walked up to the still-shocked Trixie. Meanwhile, from somewhere within the house, the group could hear...something, much like a cross between uproarious laughter and heaving cries. “...What next?” Cheerilee muttered. “Raindrops isn't going to listen to us.” Trixie's eyes narrowed as she moved the brim of her hat back up. “We find Dr. Crane. We make him tell us how to turn Raindrops back to normal.” She turned to the still-sobbing Ditzy, and would have finished her thought had Cheerilee not beaten her to the punch. “And then we break his legs.” > The Eye > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- It hadn't taken the five long to track down the elusive Neighser Crane. His first mistake was setting up shop in a town with only a couple of psychiatrists to begin with. Once they separated their names from the regular medical doctors, it was just a matter of locating the one who wasn't assigned to Ponyville Hospital. His second was setting up his office in a moderately busy part of town. If it had been exceptionally active, then he would have been found out almost instantly, but a moderate level of business would allow him to earn a steady income while giving him enough privacy to continue his illicit experiments in secret. And third, the address was clearly printed on the interest slip. Admittedly, that was the biggest lead. To everypony's surprise, the building was just a building. There was nothing outwardly sinister, and the small portions they could make out through the light in the windows allowed them to see that it was still normal inside. They could hear a light rustling within, but could see nopony to connect the sounds to. If it weren't for Raindrops' behavior, there would be nothing making this structure any more special than the two it was sandwiched between. Trixie cleared her throat and stepped to the door. “Come on, girls. Let's get this over with.” She stopped and spun around. “Remember, our first priority is to find out what he did to Raindrops. He might be evasive, or we might have to piece the answer together in between his cackling. Doctors like this are like politicians; they want nothing more than to burst out in evil laughter, but have to contain that impulse to be presentable.” Carrot Top raised an eye. “And how do you know this?” Trixie scoffed and adjusted her pointy hat. “Plenty of crazy ponies have had audiences with Princess Luna. Why, just a couple weeks before I came to Ponyville, there was this one nut who had this plan for a machine that would let you talk to anypony else with one. What, aren't letters and magic good enough for this guy?” She spun around. “But enough talk! We've waited long enough. Time to get some answers.” Her hoof pounded against the door, creating an echoing knocking noise that pervaded throughout the night air. After the third knock, however, the latch suddenly gave way, sending the whole thing swinging open in a cacophony of squeaking hinges and creaking wood. The ponies looked about themselves for a moment, but finally just shrugged and went into the lion's den. Neighser Crane's front lobby was not that different from any normal doctor's waiting room, at least when it came to the small country town ones. There were two couches sitting in perpendicular directions against a wall and joined by a small corner table, all of which looked like they had fallen out of the back of a garbage cart. A couple of magazines and books, many of them for foals, were strewn across the floor and seats, their edges worn and tattered. There was no receptionist, nor any guard; the only occupants were the five brave ponies. And whoever was on the other side of the door at the end. There was clearly light coming form underneath the crack, and the rustling of papers could be clearly made out. “So if we have the right place...that must be Doctor Crane's office,” said Lyra. The others nodded. “Then we just need to get him out here, make him spill the beans, and we'll have Raindrops back in time for dinner,” Trixie mumbled. “So, who wants to take point?” Carrot Top raised an eyebrow. “Take point? Trixie, this is a psychiatrist, not a sun deity. It's not like he has an army of evil minions on the other side just waiting to pounce on anypony who breaks in.” Trixie groaned. “But they can burrow into your brain if you aren't careful! Just one wrong word and we'll all be talking about how our daddies never played with us and why we think sauerkraut goes great with pancakes!” She waited the customary five seconds for this to sink into everypony else's brains, and another three for them to process the appropriate facial reaction, before continuing. “It's delicious and you don't know what you're missing.” Cheerilee giggled and put a hoof over Trixie's shoulders, pulling her in just slightly for a small hug. “I think you might be overselling the problem. Sure, they can make you talk about things you want to hide, but that's because they want to help. This guy might be a nut, but I'm sure with a little proper discourse, he'll be perfectly willing to put our friend back the way she was.” She trotted up to the door and knocked. “Hello? Dr. Crane? It's Miss Cheerilee, the teacher at Ponyville Elementary!” There was a momentary pause, followed by another voice, this one sounding far more snobbish than a mid-level Canterlot noble. “How can I help you?” Cheerilee turned back to the others and winked. “I'm friends with Raindrops. She got so much better after she came here that I was hoping you could help me, too.” Another pause, then more speech. “And you have problems with anger management as well?” “Oh, yes,” said Cheerilee. “It's exhausting dealing with a school full of sugar-filled little foals every day. Not too long ago, one of my students almost killed me, and I was so angry that I put the fear of Luna in her father. Imagine if I had done that to the poor little darling?!” She broke into tears that would make a crocodile shake its head in disbelief. “I'm a monster! I can't trust myself with my students' welfare if I can act out like that! How can I face the PTA knowing I might snap and condemn them all at a moment's notice? Please, Dr. Crane, I beg of you, free me from this-” “Madam, do not insult my intelligence.” Cheerilee reared up and stepped away, looking at her friends with a sheepish, sorry grin. The others, for their part, shook their heads in disbelief at just how much of the schoolteacher's body was apparently made of ham. “Um...guess I kind of oversold it?” “State your real business or leave,” said the voice. “I am in the middle of a very important report and have no time to entertain some corn-schucking excuse for a teacher...” Contrary to popular belief, it isn't really possible for a pony to react instantaneously to somepony's words. That was because the pony brain wasn't able to process information until it had sufficiently processed what was happening and accessed the correct response. Sometimes, however, the data received managed to trip over some corruption in the pony's central processing system, and instead of computing an appropriately civil response, would instead cause the pony to act out. This was one such moment, as no sooner had Cheerilee's mind finished processing Dr. Crane's insult than she had spun around on her hooves and bucked the door right off its hinges. Everypony stared at the destruction unleashed by Ponyville's best teacher, including Cheerilee herself. It took them even longer to realize they were now staring at the innermost lair of Dr. Crane himself. The room was the size of a typical office, with not much in the way of furniture to take up space. A long, brown fainting couch sat against the left wall, while a similarly-colored armchair sat facing it from the other wall. Next to the chair was a long table covered in notepads, a couple stuffed toys in case of children needing therapy, and a half-finished tossed salad with scrambled eggs. The walls were bare save for framed diplomas from universities across Equestria, many of them no doubt honorary. And sitting in the chair was a middle-aged, balding, whitish-gray unicorn stallion, looking at the intruders with an expression of mild disinterest. “Ah, the Elements of Harmony. I should have figured.” “Should have figured?” Trixie entered the room first, looking more than a little bit cross at the stallion. “Just about everypony in Ponyville knows who we are. Wasn't Cheerilee's name a giveaway?” The stallion climbed out of his chair. “As much as it may bruise your egos, I really don't care who you are. The only interest I took in the Tyrant Sun's return was academic; a crocked-up tale about some valiant heroes letting the villain escape does not sound nearly as interesting. I wouldn't even know about the term were it not for the Night Court constantly badgering me to use my understanding of the pony mind to bring you under their thrall. Not that I would ever work for them, not after dealing with that pompous vicereine's family.” Trixie blushed and hid her eyes under her hat a little, just in case Ditzy decided to rub how wrong she was in her face. Fortunately, Lyra – who was probably sleeping on the couch tonight and already had nothing to lose – had significantly less shame. “Okay, whatever, we don't care, either. We want to know what you did to our friend!” Crane very loudly cleared his throat. The hacking noise came out at just the right frequency to seriously irritate all five ponies. “You're adults. I assume that you have heard of doctor-patient confidentiality...” “I am a Representative of the Night Court.” Trixie stepped forward, doing her best to look impressive. “As far as I am concerned, this is an official investigation. And once I submit my report to Princess Luna, I am certain she'll agree with me as well. So, you can talk to us, or you can wait for the Guard to come visit.” Trixie needn't have bothered with the last part. The minute Crane heard the words “report” and “Princess Luna” in the same sentence, his eyes lit up like a foal about to open the biggest present on Hearth's Warming Eve. Even the snooty scoff and upturned nose that followed did little to cover how much his inner child was cheering. “Now that you put it that way, I would be happy to tell you everything. When Raindrops came to me last night, we began with a short session. Nothing serious, of course; we just needed to get to know each other a little better before I could begin opening her up...” ---------- “And that's really all there is, Doc.” Raindrops sighed and closed her eyes, letting the couch's upholstery rub gently against her back as she took in a deep breath. “I've tried everything from medication to counseling to anger management, and nothing works. When I get mad, I just...” “Lose control?” “Exactly.” Crane's pen scratched across the notepad in that strange language only doctors, pharmacists, and certain pink pastry chefs could read. He leaned his head against one of his forehooves and shifted his posterior in his chair. “I must say, this is quite the case you have here. Anger alone is a problem for anypony, but for somepony with your incredible strength, it can be a public danger.” Raindrops rolled her eyes and frowned discontentedly. “Tell me something I don't know, doc. And now I'm going to lose my job, my family vacation, everything.” She turned on her left side, and while her expression was as emotionless as ever, a small twinkle flashed in and out behind her irises. “The flier said that you had some new treatment that can cure me.” Crane nodded. “I have been working on something, yes” “How many do I take and how often?” The doctor shook his head. “No, no pills or potions or whatever ponies are poisoning themselves with these days. Those take weeks to work, if they even do anything, and will be quite costly for a pony with no paycheck. What I am proposing is more of a mystical nature.” Raindrops jerked her head to her right just a bit. “Huh?” ---------- Trixie scowled. “You're talking about magic, aren't you?” Crane nodded. “Exactly. For too long, we have been circling the cause of a pony's anger management issues. We can shore up their resolve or willpower with medicines and therapy, but those are just surface treatments. To truly cure a case like Raindrops, we needed to go deeper, into the very recesses of her mind itself, and scrub it clean.” The ponies look among themselves in confusion, then realization, followed by revulsion, and finally topped with a heaping dose of unbridled rage. “You mean you brainwashed our friend?!” shouted Lyra. Crane leaned back on his haunches, looking slightly offended. “My dear, I did nothing of the sort! What do you take me for, a common charlatan?” The others looked to each other with uncertain eyes, which only served to intensify the “good” “doctor's” wounded pride. “The reason Raindrops was so angry was because her foalhood trauma caused a heightened sense of self-consciousness and anxiety. She was so worried about the mere possibility of lashing out that she set unreasonable standards for herself, eventually turning any expression of anger into a personal failure. All this did was raise her stress even farther, until even the most minor of incidents would cause her to boil over. And instead of coming to an understanding with herself over this, she walled herself off for fear of hurting others with her self-defined deficiencies.” Trixie nodded. She had seen Raindrops run off before, after the mess with Gilda. She had said it would be only for a few hours, but the mare couldn't help but wonder sometimes... “So with all of that taken into account, would simply giving Raindrops some therapy and stress balls solved her problem?” Crane continued. “No, there was only one way she would ever be healed, and I offered it to her. A revolutionary new treatment, one I have been perfecting for years...” ---------- The tip of Crane's horn glowed. “Now Raindrops, I will need you to remain perfectly still. You will feel some discomfort through your body, but it will pass after a few minutes.” Raindrops nodded, her face grim and resolute. “Let's get it over with.” Crane lowered his head until his horn touched right between Raindrops' eyes. There was a bright flash, and the pegasus suddenly felt every muscle in her body simultaneously tighten and loosen as if she was doing push-ups in an earthquake and hurricane. Her eyes twitched and contorted, going from a death glare to the squee one makes when seeing a newborn puppy in the blink of an eye, and then right back to wishing doom on that puppy. Her mouth flapped uncontrollably, while her vocal chords intoned noises that would not have been too different from baby talk. Her wings went limp, then sprang back up, and finally sort of slid back and forth between the two moods in an uneven pattern. None of that could match the agony she felt inside. Her mind burned and screamed, her nerves burned with hot agony, and her tongue shriveled from thirst. For all ten seconds, it felt like she had been banished to the sun itself to be tortured for all eternity. That might have actually been a mercy, all things considered. And then Crane's horn went dark. The doctor pulled his head back as Raindrops collapsed to her knees, panting and holding back tears. “How do you feel?” “I feel...I feel...” As horrible as the pain was, Raindrops could not help but smile. “I feel...fine!” ---------- Trixie's eyes narrowed. “She felt fine?” “As she should,” said Crane. “Like I said, she was not brainwashed. She is still the same Raindrops, with the same memories and life experiences. What my spell does is redirect her brain's impulses and signals. When her mind tells her that she's angry, hurt or upset, the spell blocks those signals and instead activates the parts of her mind that produce endorphins. As such, any anger will instead manifest itself as a smile and friendly laugh.” “In other words,” said Cheerilee, “the spell keeps her from being angry by making her perpetually happy?” Crane clapped his hooves. “Exactly! Now Raindrops' problems are cured, and she can be the happy, friendly pony she always wanted to be. Just imagine the good this will do for the rest of Equestria! Nopony will ever feel sad or angry again, no matter what happens. The Night Court will change from a court of feuding nobles to a cadre of compatriots for the common good. Why, we can even cure the insanity of the Tyrant Sun herself! Imagine finally bringing that mad mare back to the realm of the sane.” The other ponies could imagine that...and it rather terrified them what a calm, in-control Corona might be able to do. “And it's all thanks to Raindrops. Were it not for her bravery in proving my theories, we might never have...” “Oh, shut up!” Everypony's eyes turned to the one pony no one expected capable of such an outburst: Carrot Top. The mare had been completely silent since they had entered the room, but now that the ponies took a good look at her, they realized something: she was angrier than the lot of them put together. Crane shook his head, adjusted his glasses, and did his best to resume the role of the biggest jerk in the ten-mile radius. “That was quite rude, miss. If you had a question, you need only raise your hoof and ask.” Carrot Top's hoof went up in a flash, brushing uncomfortably against Lyra's belly as it did so. Carrot Top turned to her, apologized, then returned to shooting heat beams at this disgrace to the medical profession. “Have you done this to anypony else?” Dr. Crane's mouth opened, but closed just as quickly as terror crept across his features. It was several awkward seconds before he spoke again. “Why, yes. I have used the same technique in Canterlot, Baltimare, and when I was the psychologist at that boarding school in Manehatten. I admit that, at first, it was difficult to balance the magical energies and the patient's brain activity to get the desired result. If things were not perfectly synced, there was a chance that the increase in activity in the brain's pleasure center would not be enough to offset the emotional responses. This manifested itself in the form of passive-aggressiveness, sarcasm, a complete removal of social inhibitions, and the inability to differentiate mentally between happiness and depression. But with Raindrops, none of those should have...” “I'll have you know that she's shown every one of those.” Carrot Top's voice lowered as she stepped forward. “She crushed my back giving me a hug. She threw her bits away on candy that she gave to the boss that got her suspended in the first place. She called her brother retarded, and when we tried to help her, she acted like we were the ones that needed help.” “W-What?” Crane's jaw drooped just slightly. “B-But it was perfect this time. I did all the research...studied all the incantations...it was perfect...” “Did you tell her any of this before you zapped her?” “W-Well, no. She was quite insistent that we administer treatment immediately, and...” By now, Carrot Top was almost snout-to-snout with Neighser. That did nothing to stop her perpetual motion forward, and the doctor found himself backpedaling as quickly as he could. “I may just be a carrot farmer. I don't have any Masters degrees in psychology or neurology or went to whatever diploma mill you graduated from. Heck, I'm not even a very good businesspony; if it weren't for my friends, I may have gone bankrupt long ago. But if there is one thing I do know, it's that a doctor is not supposed to do any harm. And you have come very close to ruining Raindrops' entire life. Now, do your job and tell us how to get rid of this.” By now, Crane was firmly pressed against the far wall, his gut practically concave from sucking it in so far. The others quickly ran to Carrot Top's side, Lyra and Cheerilee grabbing her forelegs just in case. Their eyes, however, never left Crane's, and the combined might of five angry faces was more than the doctor could stomach. “Th-There's no cure. It was never designed to be reversible. B-But it can be overwhelmed.” “How?!” snapped Trixie. “The only solution is to breach the defenses.” The doctor fought back a sniffle of fear. When anger overwhelms the spell's ability to filter and manipulate her emotions, a part of it is broken down. What happens next is that the spell attempts to mend itself by making the pony even happier, until it beats back the rage and frustration. B-But in a couple patients, if they were made significantly angry, the entire spell would be overran and destroyed.” Everypony looked among themselves nervously, save for the still-angry Carrot Top. “Y-You mean the solution is to make Raindrops mad?” “Y-Yes, but not just mad,” said Crane. “It has to be an incredible burst of rage, and it has to be in one sitting. The spell cannot be allowed any time to regenerate or take control again. And since I last tested the spell, I have made it significantly stronger. In Raindrops' case, she may have to reach homicidal levels before it could be broken.” Carrot Top turned to the others. “We have what we came for. Let's get out of here. And Trixie, make sure you write the report this time. I want Luna to know everything that happened here.” ---------- Carrot Top was still fuming by the time they left Neighser Crane's office. The others gave her a little extra room, just in case she needed to take a couple deep breaths. Not that anypony blamed her; it took all of them every last ounce of self-control not to deck that quack across the snout and toss him into the nearest waste bin. No, reporting him to Princess Luna and having the Royal Guard toss him into a dungeon was the more civilized – and legal – way to go about this. “I can't believe there's anypony like that in this town,” Lyra grumbled. “This is supposed to be a nicer place than Canterlot.” “Normally it is,” said Cheerilee. “But he'll be gone soon. The real problem is, what are we going to do with Raindrops? I mean, you heard what he said. The only way to break the spell is to make her angry.” Everypony froze in place as a single realization torpedoed its way through their minds. For all of their bluster about hunting down Dr. Crane and extracting the truth from his lips, not a single one of them were fans of the proposed solution – both for the sake of their friendships and their bones. Ditzy kicked at the ground nervously, Lyra shook her head in defeat, Cheerilee mentally slapped herself for bringing the topic up, and Trixie just looked up at the moon as if asking Luna for guidance. “We don't have a choice.” Everypony turned to Carrot Top. In the time they had stopped moving, the mare had calmed down significantly; at the very least, she no longer seemed ready to introduce Crane's hind regions to the business end of a hoe. That did not mean her gaze lost any of its determination. “We can't allow Raindrops to keep going like this. She's not just hurting herself, but everypony else as well.” She paused. “But I don't think making her 'homicidal' is the answer, either.” “Then what do we do?” muttered Lyra. “Do you just walk up to her and say, 'Hi, Raindrops! Could you stop being a jerk, please?'” Carrot Top shook her head. “Of course not. But we can stage an intervention.” Trixie cocked her head. “Intervention? She's perpetually happy and passive-aggressive, not drunk off her flank.” “You can have interventions for things besides alcoholism,” said Cheerilee. Her eyes drooped into a reflection of sorrow. “It's not going to be easy. We'll have to find a place where we can surprise Raindrops, and where she can't escape from.” “We'll have to include her family,” added Ditzy. “Fortunately, I know how to get around the exterior of their house without raising a fuss. I can slip them a note telling them where to go.” “Let's also do it in the morning, right after breakfast,” said Lyra. “If we give Raindrops time to run off, we might end up chasing her all over like we did today. We just need to point her in the right direction, and once she's there, keep her in place until we've had enough time to get through.” “We can't do it in her home,” said Carrot Top. “It's...cozy, but too small to fit everypony. The more room we have, the better.” Trixie nodded along. “Sounds like we have a plan, but before we commit to this, there's one more thing we need to remember...and this is from experience...After we do this, and make Raindrops miserable, there's a chance – a pretty good chance – she won't want to be our friend anymore.” Everypony went silent. None of them, save Trixie, had even considered what this would do to their relationship with Raindrops. They may have had a set of necklaces and access to the powers of harmony itself, but they were still ponies, and things like this had destroyed plenty of friendships in the past. Was the lie really so bad that it was worth throwing away something so precious? Cheerilee stepped forward, her eyes burning with tears. “As somepony who's had her fair share of vices...we need to do this. It doesn't matter if Raindrops never talks to us again. What's important is that she faces the truth and gets proper help, not quick fixes and escapes from reality. If we let her stay like this, we'll be just as guilty as Crane.” Everypony nodded in agreement. “Now come on. We have an intervention to get ready.” ---------- Raindrops struggled in vain against the first embers of daylight, but alas, that fiery ball was not going to take defiance of a pony's natural habits lightly. The rays intensified in their glare and assaulted her eyes until she finally gave up and rolled out of bed. As just like yesterday, there was a big grin on her face when set her hooves down. Today's another amazing day! It wasn't until she reached the tiny dining area that she realized there was nopony else in the house. There was no sound from her brother's room; normally Snails would be using at least some of his before-school time to make sure his collection was still in order. Her parents were also gone, with not even a single cereal bowl out of place. The only clue she could find was a single sheet of paper, folded into a triangle on the kitchen table: Come to the market. We need to have a talk about yesterday. Raindrops looked at the note for a good number of seconds, analyzing every inch of the writing as if to discern who it was from. Of course, the answer was obvious. “Oh, those guys!” she said to nopony in particular. “They still don't see that this is what I want!” She paused, her smile growing. “What I deserve.” The smile shrank a little, now resembling a normal grin. “Well, guess I'd better go humor them. Maybe this time I can make them understand how wonderful everything is!” And with that, she took off, pausing only to toss the note into the bushes outside her house. ---------- Ponyville's market was quiet, which made sense as it was still closed. The farmers didn't usually start coming for another hour, and only a couple cafes were open. A pony or two were sitting at one of the wooden tables, munching on bagels and slurping down the blackest coffee (the way Luna liked it), but they paid Raindrops no mind. Of her friends, there was no sign. That did nothing to damper Raindrops' good mood. The mare whistled a jaunty little tune as she seated herself on one of the public benches. She snorted in a big breath of cool morning air, stretched her limbs across the surface of the seat, and cracked her wings in a way her mother had once said would cause them to fall off when she was as old as Granny Smith. And so she waited, bobbing her head back and forth to the tune of her own heart – not unlike a young romantic in the books she kept tucked under her bed. “Raindrops!” Her ears perked up at the voice, and her smile instinctively grew. She didn't need to wait for the pony to come down and land a mere ten feet away. She knew that voice... ---------- Trixie's hoof pounded on Raindrops' front door. “Hello? Raindrops?” To Trixie's side stood Carrot Top. Neither mare had taken the time to style their manes or properly brush their coats, leaving them looking quite scruffy and fluffy, but that didn't matter. What did matter is that the pony they were trying to help wasn't answering the door. “Maybe we're too late. She may have left already.” If the Night Court Representative had been listening, she did a poor job of showing it. “Raindrops, it's Trixie. I wanted to invite you to beakfast at my place. We're making gashouse eggs and everything! I promise they're good! I won't even use any horseradish this time!” As Trixie kept pounding away at the stubborn slab of wood, Carrot Top tilted her head down in defeat...and caught sight of the abandoned note. In a moment, she had snatched the paper and pulled it out so that both mares could give it a good read. “'Come to the market?' But we're at your house, remember?” “That doesn't make sense,” Trixie mumbled. “We never even talked about going there. And it's...” Her eyes narrowed. Carrot Top tilted her head. “What is it?” “The writing...I recognize it.” Trixie scratched at the side of her head, her hoof tucking underneath the brim of her hat. “It's definitely mouthwriting, but the style is so...sloppy and unfocused. I've only seen it with one other pony in Ponyville, and they are not the type who would leave notes and OH SWEET LUNA WE NEED TO GET TO THE MARKET NOW!” ---------- Back at the market, the remaining breakfast eaters swallowed their meals and darted off as fast as their caffeine-powered legs could carry them. The shop owners locked their doors and closed the blinds on their windows, and the few patrons that remained within pressed their faces against the glass for a good look at the chaos that was about to unfold. Raindrops stepped off of the bench, her eyes never once leaving the newcomer and her lips remaining as happy as ever. The other pony just stared at her with a look of pure hatred, her body hunched over and ready to pounce. “Raindrops, we've got a score to settle,” said Rainbow Dash.