FOOD BATTLE RARITY VS. RAINBOW DASH!!!!

by theYasha

First published

Like smosh food battle, only ponified

Rainbow Dash knows her favorite food, skittles, are more than twenty percent cooler than Rarity's favorite, marshmellows.

SKITTLES VS. MARSHMELLOWS

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Rarity is walking down the road popping small marshmellows from a bag into her mouth every five seconds. She looks up at a passing cloud and sees Rainbow Dash relaxing on a cloud popping something else from a bag into her mouth.

"Hello, Rainbow Dash! Tell me, what are you eating?"

Rainbow Dash leans up and looks over the edge of her cloud. "I am only eating the most awesomest food ever!!!! The amazing rainbow skittles."

"Well, what a coincidence! I happen to be eating the most fantastic food in Equestria, a nice bag of marshmellows."

"Woah--woah--woah--wait. Back it up." Rainbow Dash gets up, kicks the cloud away, and flys down in front of Rarity. "My little pack of skittles is much better than your stupid marshmellows could ever be!"

"Oh, well my marshmellows could take on anything your pathetic skittles can, darling, and tons more!!!!"

"Yeah, right!!!"

"Oh, so how are you going to prove that those skittles are any better than my fantabulous marshmellows?!"

"I'LL SHOW YOU HOW!!!!" she points at a magazine she is holding "MY SKITTLES COULD BE ANY OF THESE ITEMS IN THIS--THIS--uh..." she stares at magazine for a minute then pulls out a different one. "Yuck, my skittles are never going to be a yucky pile of fertilizer--BUT THEY CAN BE ANYTHING IN THIS ONE!!!"

* A cartoon marshmellow and a pack of skittles pop up in cartoon form with half a dozen party cannons exploding behind them.*
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Rarity starts flipping pages and says "Let's see your dissssGUSTING skittles ...be a parachute!"

"Oh, that will be too easy"!

Suddenly, Rarity and Rainbow Dash are on a pink plane with the words "PARTY AIRLINES" painted on it in an even brighter pink. A door is open, and inside you can see two mares, a unicorn and a pegasus with her wings tied to her back.

"THIS IS NOT GOING TO BE TOO EASY!!!!"

"Okay, marshmellow, let me fly!!!"

Rarity jumps off screaming and suddenly her marshmellows poof out. She floats down to the earth slowly.

"HAHA! IT WORKED!!!!" Rarity hoof-pumps in the air (literally).

*little green checkmark and a small ding!*

Rarity is still smiling when suddenly Rainbow Dash falls past screaming, and with a large splash lands in the rainbow factory pond

*little red x and AAAAAAAAAHT noise*
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Rainbow Dash scowls and shouts "Oh, let's just see you pitiful MARSHMELLOW be a pair of headphones!!"

Rainbow Dash is sitting in a chair at the library. Twilight Sparkle is reading out loud in the background and Rainbow Dash looks completely bored. She puts some skittles in her ears.

Skittles: op....Op....OPA GANGNAM STYLE!!!! HEEEEEEEEEEY SEXY LADAAAY!!!!

Twilight looks up and says "And, really, I think that Greyling the Gandalfus's 14672th quote from his brother, Dordorus Dumbly, was very knowing in the--

Suddenly, Twilight realizes that Rainbow Dash is Rainbow Dash dancing the gangnam on her bookshelves. Slowly, her face gets angrier, her hair turns into fire, and her fur turns whiter than snow, or Rarity.

Outside the library, some bystanders listen as they hear punches, screams, and glass tinkling inthe library. They gasp as Twilight throws Rainbow Dash out of the library, along with an open package of skittles. "NO DANCING AND EATING IN THE LIBRARY!!!!" She shouts, then storms back inside.

Rainbow Dash lays on the pavement for a while, then raises her hoof up and says "IT WORKED!"

*green check mark and small ding!*

Rarity is at the spa, preparing to get into a mudbath, when she takes out a bag of marshmellows. The two spa ponies glance at each other and then back at Rarity as she sticks one into each of her ears. "Alright, Marshmellows, play me some peaceful music!" And with that, she presses an invisible button on one of her marshmellows.

Marshmellows: IN THE JUNGLE!!! WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE---

"AAAAGH!!! WOAH!!!!"

Rarity falls into the mud bath with a huge splash.

*Little green checkmark and small ding!*
_____________________________________________________________________________________

"Let's watch you ugly skittles fail at being a TOASTER!!!" Rarity says, glaring at Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash is at Sugarcube Corner in the cake shop, where Pinkie is busy making cupcakes. Rainbow Dash says "Hey, Pinkie, can I borrow a power outlet?"

Pinkie Pie smiles and says "Sure, Dashie!"

"Thanks, Pinkie." Rainbow Dash plugs her skittles in and puts some bread in it. 30 seconds later, toast pops up

Pinkie Pie gasps and looks at the toast, wide-eyed. "You know, I never really know how those toasters do that!"

*green checkmark and small ding!*

Rarity is at her boutique, smiling at a marshmellow she's holding in her hoof. "Alright, marshmellow, make me some toast!!" She plugs her marshmellow in.

*BOOOOOOOOM!!! Boutique explodes*

*red x and AAAAAAAAAAHT! noise*
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Rarity sits smoking in a corner while Rainbow Dash flips the pages in the magazine. "Let's see your ugly marshmellow be a... a KNIFE!!!!"

Rarity jumps up beside Rainbow Dash and shouts "Oh, well I have news for you!!! Marshmellows cut things all the time!!!"

Rainbow Dash looks at Rarity with an unbelieving frown. "I've never seen a marshmellow cut something."

"Oh, well I'll just prove it to you then!!!" Rarity throws marshmellow to the wall, and it bounces off.

*Red x and AAAAAAAAAHT! noise*

Rainbow Dash sighs and says "Seriously? Check this."

Rainbow Dash throws a bunch of skittles to the. They go through the wall, then with a strange slicing noise stick to the tree outside.

*Green check mark and small ding!*
_______________________________________________________________________________________

Rarity tries to appear undaunted. She fails. "Well, lets see your dumb SKITTLES...be some awesome jewelry!!!"

Rainbow Dash is at a Wonderbolts show, wearing a sparkling skittles necklace

Spitfire flips around and shouts "WOAH, CHECK THAT OUT!" She flies down and lands beside Rainbow Dash. "Is that necklace made out of skittles?"

Rainbow Dash smiles proudly and says "You bet!!!"

Spitfire gasps and says "That is so awesome! Could you make me one?"

Rainbow Dash's sparkly fan-girl eyes activate and she says "YOU BET!!!"

*green check mark and small ding!*

Rarity is standing in a pose innocently nearby Photo Finish, when suddenly, she grabs a nearby pony and shouts "HELLO! What do you think about my new piece of jewelry?"

That random pony looks at Rarity's marshmellow necklace and pukes. Rarity screams and pushes the pony away.

*little x and AAAAAAAAAAHT noise*
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Rainbow Dash flips to a random page in the magazine. She gasps, then smiles evilly. "Let's get down to business and use our favorite foods as GUNS!!!"

Rarity frowns and says "That doesn't sound businesslike to me."

"Shut up, Rarity." Rainbow Dash grumbles.

Suddenly, they are in some desert somewhere. Rainbow Dash's glaring eyes take up most of he space. She is looking left. Then Rarity's glaring eyes take up most of the space. She is looking right. Then it shows them less close up with them both back to back

Rainbow Dash frowns and says "Alright, partner. This is it. Take ten paces and shoot."

Rarity gasps in horror and shouts "TEN paces?! IN THE DIRT?!!"

"1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10!" Rainbow Dash runs with every step, then suddenly Rainbow Dash turns around and shoots her skittles, shouting--

"TASTE THE RAINBOW!!!!"

Rarity screams--the skittles fly--and--AND--

Rarity's screams are suddenly stopped as a bunch of skittles go in her mouth. Rarity chews silently and says "...These taste pretty good."

Rainbow Dash's eyes widen and she says "...Really?"

Rarity shouts "NO!" She coughs and splutters the skittles out. Then she lifts her marshmellow gun. "EAT THIS, DASH!!" she shoots, and a sticky mess flies out and sticks to Rainbow Dash's face. The shoot still flies, and eventually splats against a cactus, sticking Rainbow Dash on it.

Rarity walks up to the cactus and says "...If you are dead, you know it's an automatic forfeit."
'

Rainbow Dash sighs and says "Whatever. I'm dead. I lose. I suck. I'm humiliated. And you're happy."

Rarity jumps up joyfully. "You bet I am!" *she smiles and trots away*

_________________________________________________________________________________

Pinkie Pie pops up randomly and shouts "RARITY! YOU'VE JUST WON FOOD BATTLE PONY12! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW?"

Rarity gasps, thinks, and then replies "I'm going to go to Las Pegasus! Want to come?"

Pinkie Pie shouts "FUN!!"

Rarity gasps and moans "...Oh no--"

Another Pinkie Pie appears and shouts"FUN!!!!"

Pinkie Pie clone number three jumps out of the bushes and yells "FUN!!!!"

Pinkie Pie clone number four appears from behind Rarity and asks "FUN??!!!"

Pinkie Pie clone number five pops up next to her and screams "FUN!!!!"